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alienturnip · 8 months ago

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Finished FF16 a few days ago and I do have some (long) thoughts about it, so I'm noting them down below. Reactions include the Waloed & Origin arcs.

Tagging @zadien as you requested <3 My thoughts won't be organized but I'll try my best to articulate as I go. Wall of text alert!

I think this is yet another case of "the story didn't satisfy me a lot but the characters bewitched me body and soul" so here I am at the end of the roads... with a lot of grievances toward how the story was structured & written but also impossibly attached to the cast haha, needless to say I have fanart ideas planned and incoming.

Things that I enjoyed a lot:

CliveJill's scene with the snow daisies, where she tells Clive that she wants to spread her wings after all this is over. MY GIRLFRIEND... YOU SHALL HAVE THE WORLD.

Jill being so good with acting dkfjsl <3 <3 she's so cute....

Jill being as much of a ruthless mtfk as Clive, they're soooo in tune when it comes to wrecking havoc

Everything about Joshua he brings SO SO MUCH to the table both with his personalities and the themes he represents. I would ramble if not for fear of this post's length...

Dion's contradictory demeanor hahahahaha - he insisted everyone call him "Dion" but wouldn't shut up about "Ifrit" and "Phoenix", he also refused Harpocrates' gift but then gave another to Clive 2 seconds later, then sauntered off without even checking if Clive likes it or not...

I generally bemoan the lack of discussion on Dion's relationship with his country's imperialism and his hands in that (like, everything about him was perfect to address that topic even in very brief ways?), BUT I highly enjoyed Dion's theme about the loss of personhood and to be reduced to a vessel of power and worship, his multifaceted relationship with the concepts of power & duty & hierarchy. So subtly yet powerfully done with so little screen time... I think Clive's own engagement with the theme (which is supposed to be his central theme) comes short in comparison.

Dion's side quest with Harpocrates also scratched my brain in INCREDIBLY ways, but again I won't ramble too much in this post...

(Hahaha by this point I think everyone knows who my fav is)

Dion & Joshua's dialogues are all so well-written (maybe save for Joshua's last speech...)

Everything about Mid & Gav, they're beautifully done, I love them they have such solid places within the narrative and lovely personalities too. When I watched Mid navigating the Entreprise I was just squealing and cheering for her! Her talking about the dream of flight and the danger it might entail, and her plan of turning such a weighted topic into a lighthearted treasure hunt! My gosh 💗 Gav's drinking scene with Clive is also especially touching, I felt a lot for his burdens.

Lady Isabelle may I have your hand in marriage--

Clive holding Joshua or clutching his body...... breaks me every time I love love LOVE tragic siblings

I can honestly write an essay for each of the characters (especially Jill & Dion my thoughts about them are overflowing) but they will have to be separate posts at this point, let me know @zadien (or anyone else reading this 🫣) if you'd like me to talk some more.

NOW onto the criticisms proper...

Waloed & Origin arcs were pretty underwhelming, mostly because I feel like they haven't offered anything new that wasn't already resolved in the previous arcs...? I enjoyed Barnabas' vibe but his impact on me was a big fat 0, and here comes the conundrum because, well, I'm guessing him being emotionless & devoid of a personality is supposed to be the point with his worship of Ultima, but even that was not done well... All his bedroom scenes kinda ruined all of that, not to mention the out-of-nowhere 'mother' appearances that the story doesn't even bother to explore aside from showing her naked body (Benedikta got the same treatment after her death my god I'm so sorry my beloved)...

Idk what I'm supposed to take away from the character and, in consequence, the Waloed arc? I know nothing of who he was, his dialogues didn't even match Clive's growth at that point - again, why is Clive questioning his humanity NOW of all time, when the story has been going so well? Could they have, idk, shown Clive's fear coming back to him after reuniting with Joshua & discovering Dion's descend to madness, so that they can segue into the Waloed arc more smoothly - that despite Clive's best intention he may lose all his control at the most crucial point and ruin all that he holds dear (like Dion), and that he never let go of his guilt at Phoenix Gate, and having Joshua back unwittingly brought back the nightmares he'd lived with for 13 years? Maybe that would give his identity crisis at the beach some more substance instead of "Barnabas bested me twice and now I'm wet and sat" situation he got going on... I am thankful for Mid & Dion's arc & CliveJill romance & everything about Joshua but the main villain & plot points felt so distant... MY BRAIN WAS NOT SCRATCHED

(I adore Mid & Dion & Joshua hahaha they're so colorful in 3 entirely different directions, my silly children)

I am also not really convinced by Ultima's writing. The plot reveal of him being a God who created humanity but then abandoned us all *could* have been pretty powerful and on point if it wasn't executed in such fragmented ways. If only they dig deeper into one or two specific aspects of that concept to explore...

I am especially fond of the idea of Ultima as symbolic for "the absent parent" and "the narcissistic parent" (both in the intimate familial context and the wider context of head-of-state/leader figures), which could have paralleled SO WELL with Anabella & Sylvestre & EVEN ELWIN had they not cut off Anabella's presence immediately after her death, or had they make Dion reflect deeper upon his relationship with his father beyond "I killed him I am so sad", or had they make Joshua's and Clive's memories of Elwin more complicated - maybe in how they (especially Joshua) worshipped his as their father & leader, but less so as a man, someone human & flawed? And then they can explore how the children gaining autonomy & freedom despite their parents & the circumstances that shaped their childhood as a direct mirror to them breaking away from Ultima? The frustrating thing is, I THINK they did try to do that, what with all the Inner Voice snippets and the initial buildups and all, but the execution keeps coming up short...

Ultima & the Eikons as symbols of "power that binds & enthralls" in contradiction with Clive's fight for a "free world" could've been much more relevant and poignant if maybe they allowed us to get more invested in Ultima's backstory (flashback cutscenes perhaps? more involved murals? a more multifaceted discussion around the concept of will? some attempts at humanizing Ultima's race so that when Clive says "you're just like us" we feel it a bit deeper?) instead of just having the guy monotonously narrating all the plot twists... my god. Not to mention all the on-the-nose dialogues of power of friendship & crude slavery allegories... I don't know! I think Square did NOT do it well in this one.

That's all I can pull from the top of my head at the moment! Ready to hop into replies or asks to talk some more, but yea!

#ff16 #I have both love and frustration for this game in equally intense measure #hoping that the general impression didn't come off as being too negative but yeah...#...at this rate I am just listing all my wishful thinking for things that might have happened #trying to rewrite the game in my head etc. etc.#On an unrelated note #I was fighting the Knight of Splendent Heart and was again filled with longing for A TERENCE BOSS FIGHT #for twinside arc #that'd be my dying wish...#Just-- Square #listen #just lift these moves in wholesale #or maybe even reuse Clive's later Bahamut skills #MAYBE DION BLESSED HIM LIKE JOSHUA DID CLIVE I DON'T KNOW--#jura plays ff16 #ff16 spoilers

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prpfz · 2 months ago

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── 🗡 a little about me » (21F writer. gmt tmz. experienced writer.). hello!! i'm an experienced, adv.lit–novella writer (with replies spanning to multiple discord messages), currently on the look out for other 18+ writers that may want to collaborate in a dark romance 1x1 rp featuring a variety of darker themes and tropes, with some booktok inspirations mixed in!! oc x oc ships only!!

── current tastes » i am dying to write oc x oc rps inspired by some booktok favourites, especially booktok college dark romance picks. DEVILS NIGHT by pen douglas and LEGACY OF GODS by rina kent are two of my favourite series, and i would die if plots similar to these series were utilised!! additionally, i love the vibes that OUTER BANKS, elite, and EUPHORIA give off, alongside enjoying the movie CULPA MIA and some KDRAMAS energy. it's not necessary to have read either or watched any of these, i am open to just describing the plots & providing snippets of my favourite scenes, but i do need to reiterate that these books (especially) have the exact vibes that i'm looking for within an rp & i will be geeking out heavily over them as i provide plot ideas/inspiration.

── plot energy interests » dark romance, college setting, dark academia, gothic vibes, characters ranging from 18 to earlier 20s. bullying/torment, mind games/mindbreaking & gaslighting, rich kids gone wild, small town with a clear hierarchy, heavy into revenge plotlines. tropes of: enemies-to-lovers, childhood friends, revenge, bully romance, step siblings/half-siblings, brother's best friend, love triangle / reverse harem, blackmailed into a relationship, arranged marriage – these are all currently very appealing to me.

── other notes »

– fellow ramblers, this ad is aimed at you !! i can go off about a plot, oc, or a pairing for entire lenghy messages of content, and i love people who have that same level of enthusiasm, or at least appreciate and give some of the same energy back. if you're one of those people whose default response is one-word-replies, then we likely won't get along. i need you to feed my soul and muse, i want us to be mutually sick from brainrot and obsessed over our characters, pairing, and plot !!

– a little cliche, but as of now, i'd prefer playing F roles in *mxf rp* and writing with other F/non-cis-male writers. need to note that i'm not a fast rp replier at all (nor do i require you to be fast and prefer a more lax energy with replies), but i'm quick with OOC and enjoy text/semi-lit threads to bridge the time between lengthier novella replies. plus, i engage in lots of headcanoning and planning for rps, including sharing aesthetics & tiktoks. just don't be dry, contribute, and we'll get on well!

– i am fine with dead-dove & darker themes, so come at me with your dark, complex, twisted ocs, and i might also write some darker twisted ocs against them, or ones that may be slowly corrupted by them. honestly, i'm open to writing most dead dove themes & darker kinks (albeit the ones utilised depend on the oc that i plan to use & develop) and am open to some taboo themes such as incest/stepcest (i do need to quickly mention that i do NOT enjoy large age gaps that exceed +5 years). we can discuss limits and triggers in dms.

give a like and anon will get back to you

#oc roleplay #oc rp

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novella-writers · 2 months ago

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Like if interested!

#fandomless rp #oc rp

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rp-partnerfinder · 2 months ago

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heketsbroodau · 2 years ago

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Think fast! Oldest to youngest sibling

An invitation to headcanon? Don't mind if I do.

Shamura -> Narinder -> Heket -> Kallamar -> Leshy.

It wasn't always this way but this what I eventually settled on as I feel this makes the most sense based on what we see of them in the game.

Shamura: As an eldest sibling Shamura gives me major eldest sibling vibes, especially from the way they talk about Narinder.

Narinder: He and Shamura were obviously close, with Narinder being Shamura's favourite. This isn't the only way to explain this closeness but it is one way. But it's more about how this effected Heket, Kallamar and Leshy based on the following;

On the day Narinder was imprisoned, they didn't just "lose" both of their eldest siblings, but also the senior leaders of the Old Faith.

Heket: From that day, Heket was forced to shoulder the burden of eldest sibling as well as senior leader of the Old Faith whether she wanted to or not, and all while dealing with (or not dealing with rather) her own trauma. She is doing her best, but is clearly too used to going to her older siblings for advice (or otherwise just having them around) to be a fully effective leader.

Kallamar: And from that day Kallamar went from second youngest to second oldest. When the Lamb comes for him, his entire support network has (one way or another) been destroyed. He spent so much of his life as the fourth sibling in the hierarchy that when it finally comes time for him to deal with an issue that his older siblings normally would, he finds himself dealing with it entirely alone, and under that pressure he cracks.

Leshy: Leshy is the only one who stayed exactly where they are. He is perpetually the baby of the family, as well as the least powerful. Probably since and likely because of Narinder's imprisonment he feels the need to prove himself to his elder siblings and while at first he tries to deal with the Lamb himself, he very quickly goes to his older siblings for advice when that doesn't work.

#Cult of the Lamb #CotL #the mod answers #my headcanons; permit me to display them before you

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lightdancer1 · 1 year ago

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Death's wings in my stories:

Are a central motif, not least because they are, as I've noted more than once, stories specifically told from Death's POV. Her wings and her ankh are the loose equivalents of Dream's sigils of office. They are not the totality of her power or her nature, but they are essentially two parts of controlling it and making it precise. More than dreaming, but less than Fate, Death is a universal concept that operates on the vast and the small scales. Death, of all her siblings, is the most human-like or mortal-like (she has small tells that she is not, in fact, human but her demeanor means she gives off more of an Uncanny Valley vibe precisely because she does have them when so much else seems normal enough, especially in the DCU where 'normal' can be loosely defined even by comics standards).

And the most human-like Endless has six limbs even in her human shape where the others have four. I give the wings a set of gleaming golden eyes with infinite sadness and compassion both as a nod to Neil's own comments on the wings and their appearance....and like Neil not just to the idea of the Angel of Death in Judaism and Christianity but also that of Islam.

In DC's angelic hierarchy there is no Angel Azrael, which as I've noted before is at least in my own stories is because Azrael is one of Death's many names, along with Mott, Erishkagal, the Dark Woman, Grandmother Death, Hel, and the like. And as a nod to the Lucifer show Azrael has a blade that induces BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD mentalities in the wielder, one discarded in Death's distant past but every so often found in one of those stories and carrying all the implications of the same sword as in the show.

Given the Azrael in Lucifer was Death with the serial numbers filed off it works as a meta reference at a couple of levels.

The ankh is the anchor within the material world and part of what lets Death function so much more immersed in the world than beyond it. It also has a bit of a deceptively easy to take aspect to it, in reality if not an Endless encountering her in her true form means that trying to touch it is a good way to die without the more formal process, and in my 'Death in the fishbowl' scenarios the ankh is highly charged with the part of her that's death, even as a symbol of life.

And there are so many ways where holding a power of death while being unable to die can go gruesomely wrong.

The wings, OTOH, basically both draw the eyes of souls and give her more soothing aspects their focus, and mostly are seen by the dead.....but if she fully goes into cosmic mode the wings come out to play and the result is intimidating in the way that a wingspan to suit the extinct Argentavis on a human-like body would be.

#death of the endless #the sound of her wings #death's wings

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waheelawhisperer · 2 years ago

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Kinda sorta wishing Winter's big 'fuck it, let the rapscallions try to save their adoptee farmboi sibling' moment had involved less 'piss off, Insubordinate Brown Person' vibes.

I didn't get that impression myself, but I can absolutely see how someone would, especially given the general frustration from parts of the fanbase about RWBY's history with racial diversity. There were a lot of complaints early on about the show's cast at the time being majority-white (or Asian, but, like, anime-Asian, where the art style means there's typically not a lot of differentiation between white and Asian characters due to the heavy influence of western animation on early anime). Personally, I think the intent of this scene is more to demonstrate how poor of a leader Winter is, because she really sucks at it.

Her generally-stilted but well-meaning interactions with Weiss can be interpreted as just a weird familial dynamic, but the way Winter acts around people in her direct chain of command is very telling about the way she views leadership. Winter is very quick to appeal to force and hierarchy: she expects to be obeyed because she is higher in the chain of command, because she has structural authority, rather than because she's earned the respect of her followers or demonstrated that she's the best person for the job, and if her subordinates do not obey, she will make them obey, by force if necessary. We see Winter's struggles with leadership in the way she threatens the soldiers escorting the captured protagonists with violence if they don't release their prisoners immediately (no simple orders to let them go, just immediate willingness to secure their release by force if necessary. Yeah, she was probably getting protective over Weiss, but still, it's hardly effective leadership, and those soldiers absolutely believed she would hurt them if they didn't jump to it), with the way she struggles to rally her troops during the fight against Salem's forces, and with the "I outrank you" moment. While that scene was fantastic in so many ways, not the least of which being because the fanbase wanted someone to finally tell Harriet to fuck off after several episodes of her being generally unlikeable, it's crappy leadership.

(Of course, much of the fanbase would be happy to have Winter give them orders like that...)

Contrast Winter with Robyn, who clearly has the respect and trust of her Happy Huntresses and the people of Mantle. During the warehouse party, May starts picking a fight with Marrow and Robyn backs her down without anyone losing face. She asserts her authority over May without making May resent her. Robyn knows that truly effective leadership comes from making people want to follow you, instead of forcing people to follow you.

I think a big part of Winter's arc going forward is going to involve learning how to lead effectively. Here's hoping she'll have some good influences and examples around her.

#rwby #analysis #winter schnee #harriet bree #robyn hill #may marigold #weiss schnee

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averybritishblog · 3 years ago

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Ten Headcanons About M in his Youth

This is a continuation of my series of I'm Avoiding Doing Life Admin or Processing Emotions by Constructing Elaborate Headcanon about M. (Parts 1, 2 and 3 are here). Below the cut is the product of me being very bored at the weekend and trying to work out what young M was like.

(Also I was watching Lawrence After Arabia and young Ralph Fiennes was too much for me to deal with.)

1. He's from an old landed gentry family, but not the primary branch. His father was probably the second/third etc son.

So we know he wears a signet ring in Skyfall and from the way he dresses even when he is not in work (the Rules scene in Spectre) we can assume that he's definitely upper-middle class at least. Mallory is a surname with Anglo-Saxon or Norman origins. However, I don't think he's from the primary branch of that family, as the British landed gentry in the late 20th century tended not to send their first son off to the army or into the civil service.

2. His mother's welsh and Gareth is a common name in her family.

So Gareth is not the most obvious name for an upper/upper middle class Englishman. However, Gareth is still a fairly common name in Wales. In Welsh it means gentleness (LOL) and it may be linked to the knight Sir Geraint from the stories surrounding King Arthur and the round table. My thinking is that his mother was probably Welsh and that this was her choice, as M himself comes across as very English and Mallory is not a common name in Wales.

3. His father was a military man who desperately wanted M to follow in his footsteps.

This will take a bit of explaining, but bear with me. To get into the SAS, we know that M is dedicated. It's also clear from every thing he does (*cough no time to die ranting cough*) that he has a dogmatic belief in and love of his country. It's part of who he is. My thinking is for it to be that vociferous, it probably comes from somewhere emotional and pre-SAS. Therefore, it may be possible that his father was military and instilled in his eldest son (because M has such eldest child vibes, more on that later) an unquestioning belief in military service and love of country.

4. His father was quite a bit older than his mother and died when Mallory was young.

So linked to the above, I think for M to still have that much of a belief in his father's ideals, it may point to the fact he never reached the point where he got to either argue or fall out with his father. This suggests he didn't know him into his teens. Children tend to idolise parents, but that wears off when critical thinking kicks in, especially during adolescence. I also think for Mallory to idolise him that much, it's probably because he has distinguished service. In my headcanon, Mallory's father served in WWII as an officer, placing his birthdate at , at the latest, 1920. If we take Ralph Fiennes birthday as M's (1962), Mallory's mother would have had to be younger in order to have Mallory + siblings. (Also the fact that M dresses in quite a vintage way and has maybe out dated attitudes to hierarchy and country, it suggests these views possibly were influenced from an older parent.

5. He has a younger sibling and half siblings.

Okay, Mallory has a load of older sibling vibes. He's permanently exasperate, at the end of his tether and rolling his eyes. So my theory is that he at least has a younger sister. But there's something about the fact that he has such older sibling energy suggests to me he probably has much younger siblings, which in turn suggests half siblings if his father passed when he was young. Again, pure headcanon, but I think his mother probably remarried when Mallory was a teenager and had another child with her second husband.

6. He went to an all-boy's boarding public school.

I mean look at him. Of course he did. Everything about him screams either Harrow, or Westminster, or Eton. My betting is on Harrow. He's not stuffy enough to be Eton and too rigid to be Westminster. IMO this is also where the first hints of him being not 100% straight come out. He's always more at ease around other men. (You can kinda see this in the movies. He's not a misogynist, but he's incredibly tense around M(ansfield) and seemingly doesn't know how to communicate with Moneypenny (forgets her birthday in Spectre.) Also, it's an all male boarding school. C'mon.

7. He didn't go to university, instead he went straight from school to the military academy at Sandhurst.

Mallory is not an intellectual. You can sort of see it when he's talking to Q in No Time To Die. It's not that he's disparaging or dismissive, more impatient and practical. You can also see it a bit in the scene in Skyfall where he applies Q's intellectual approach of laying breadcrumbs and gives the practical advice of sending Bond up the A9. My theory is that he knew he wanted to go into the army, so why would he bother delaying it by at least two years by going to university to do a subject he probably had no interest in. This isn't to say he's no smart, @gauzeandlinen has it right here when they say that he's probably sharper than not only his peers but his superiors.

8. He does incredibly well at Sandhurst and is commissioned into the Parachute Regiment.

So you don't get immediately selected out of Sandhurst for the SAS. You need to join a regular regiment first. One of the main feeder regiments for the special forces is the Parachute regiment, as already they're seen as one of the more elite groups. To get selected for the paras straight out of Sandhurst, Mallory would needed to have been bloody good as selection is extremely competitive. My pure headcanon is that he probably received the Sovereign's Sword, which is an award given to the top cadet at Sandhurst, because Mallory is nothing if not dedicated, bloody minded and determined.

9. It isn't his original intention to join the SAS, but he gets tapped for it.

Very little grounding for this other than a feeling. But IMO is that Mallory probably had a more traditional military route in mind, where he joined the Paras, did well there, fought in open warfare, got promoted up and commanded his own units, just like his father did in WWII. Special forces is a bit more of a murky world, half in the shadows. However, he was probably a stand out recruit and after a year or two, gets convinced to do it by one of his superiors (and because Mallory has a huge thing for hierarchy he'll listen to what his CO says).

10. He meets his wife through a friend at Sandhurst and they marry young, before Mallory is deployed in the SAS.

So in my previous posts I laid out why I think Mallory is a) married and b) to someone even more upper class than him. Lots of high society people can mix at Sandhurst, especially in the early 80s when Mallory would have attended. IMO that is probably where he is most likely to have met her. She probably fell for the slightly aloof if charming young officer cadet. I think they would have had to got married before he joined the SAS, because his life would have become a lot more shrouded in secrecy after that and I think he would have been less interested in marriage, more interested in his work. Again, pure headcanon, but I think he married her because it was the "dutiful" thing for a young officer to do and both families were keen. This hardly sets up for a happy marriage as a) she doesn't understand the realities of being married to a young, ambitious SAS officer who will never love her like he loves his country, b) he's doing it out a sense of duty and wanting to live up to his idolised image of his father rather than romance and c) dude is gay.

ANYWAY, that was fun to write. Let me know what you think .

#gareth mallory #M #No Time To Die #Headcanon o'clock #headcanon #Skyfall #Spectre #James Bond #007 #Deep Dive #Ralph Fiennes #Lawrence After Arabia

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x0401x · 3 years ago

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My English is very basic, and I don't have this aap and I don't know how to use this blog, but here we go. How do you think they are and what relationships do Gilbert's sisters have in VE?

Omg. I love this question. I'm lowkey obsessed with the Bougainvillea family because of how little info we have on them. So thanks for sending this! Here we go~

Julia: Actual sass queen. From her letter to Gilbert, I could feel how smart and snappy she is. Knows what she wants in life, takes no shit from anybody. Educated, capable and badass are the vibes that I got from her. If the line of succession were decided by meritocracy rather than being passed down to the eldest male son, I'm willing to bet that she'd be the family head instead of Gil or Dietfried, lol.

I'm not sure what "relationships" refers to here, so I'll just analyze the five siblings + Violet.

She's the leader of the sister trio, if there's any hierarchy in it. I sense a boss here. A bossy princess, maybe, but a sensible one, if you will. Perhaps with a touch of remorse from being able to marry for love while her sisters might not have the same luck.

We saw that she's always gotten along well with Gil, which goes for the two other sisters too, but maybe not so well with Dietfried. I think they might've had disagreements, since they seem like polar opposites. Julia appears to be as dutiful as Gil, but not the least bit lenient. Dietfried's total disregard for his own responsibilities and all the injustice imposed on Gil might've gotten on her nerves.

As for her relationsip with Violet, she was told about Violet by Laurus and Gil before-hand, so she already had an idea of what to expect. Since she was willing to get along with Violet from the very start, I think Julia would be the first of the sisters to warm up to her. Violet hardly starts with the right foot when meeting people for the first time, but even if she happens to give the wrong impression at the beginning, I'm sure they'd soon start getting along.

Henrietta: I believe the second sister is the nice, innocent one. Probably the one who keeps the trio together. Perhaps she's also the one who's more shackled by the orders from her elders than anybody else.

If she's as good-natured as I think she is, she must be faint-hearted as well. This might've made her an easy target for bullying from Dietfried. If he can do it with Gil when they're in their late 20's, he definitely did it with his little sisters when they were kids. Cue more anger from Julia. Gil was probably especially soft on her.

I think Henrietta would be a little freaked out when hearing the truth about Violet and her relationship with Gilbert. But I also think she's the one with the biggest heart out of the three, so although it'd probably take a bit of convincing, my guess is that it wouldn't be long till she accepted Violet. Either that or Julia would be the one to need some convincing from her, lol.

Diane: This one. This one would be the black sheep. My guess is she's annoying but lovable, kinda like Ann. The cliché little sister archetype, but with a touch of genius to her. It's her fucking city, bitches.

There's a big age gap between her and the others. She never met her father or Dietfried, so she hasn't experienced even half of what her other siblings went through. She most likely has single child syndrome, lmao. Gil probably spoils this attention seeker rotten and she loves it.

Diane is at least 13 years younger than Gilbert, so she's only 2 years older than Violet at most. Her older brother marrying someone almost her age probably doesn't look good in her eyes. Plus, she's the one who has spent the least amount of time with Gil out of all four siblings. She might have the feeling that Violet stole him away, just like Ann with her mother. Violet would have to win her over. And she'd definitely succeed. No catfights involved, though. It'd probably go a lot smoother than the way Charlotte had to handle Damian's sister, for example. I bet it'd be funny as hell to watch.

#violet evergarden #julia bougainvillea #henrietta bougainvillea #diane bougainvillea #gilbert bougainvillea #dietfried bougainvillea

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nextstopparis · 3 years ago

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You know, I’ve gotten into Merlin fic again and something that continues to confuse me, though not in a negative way just a curious one, is the fact that people tend to make Leon significantly older than Arthur. Like he was already a fully grown knight when Arthur was in diapers. Where did this come from? I know the actor is a few years older but not by that much. Any ideas?

honestly i think its more just. like. the ~vibe~ leon gives off. i guess? thats the reason i hc him to be like. at least 5 yrs older, anyway. like he's just done with everything and like chaotic but in an old immortal sort of way? like leons chaotic calm as opposed to, say, gwaines chaotic chaos. and i think chaotic calm comes with like. just seeing too much Shit bc of the long years one has had to suffer kcjndknks

also his intro? sassing arthur into the next century? all patronizing like oooo ur a prince ofc im going easy on u oooo..... thats like. big sibling behaviour i think. granted i dont have a big brother so i could be wrong bUT im just saying. it feels like peak older sibling behaviour. also i feel like some of it has to do with leons like. attitude towards the crown? he's more traditional than all/most of the other knights and like. that obviously comes from being born and raised a noble but i think it also makes the audience think he's older bc of his beliefs?

leon was also part of the council in the troll eps and i will be the first to admit that idk ANYTHING abt medieval councils or whatever but. i feel like a very trusted knight/older allies would be the ones let in on a kings council? especially uthers. not to mention he had a pretty elevated position in the knighthood hierarchy (im SUCH a genius with all this terminology, ik lol) meaning he's skilled and experienced and well.. ig with experience (esp. in those things) comes age???

i personally dont hc leon to be THAT much older though,,, not him being a full knight when arthur was born, anyway,,, i mostly hc him to be like. 5-6yrs older? idk

anyway anon i really hope that made sense ekcjnekcnekcn im so sorry this took so long i was Rejuvenating

#theres just something about leons general position that makes him seem Older #like the trust arthur puts in him and the way he relies on him just screams to me as leon being older by enough #IDKIDKIDK #theres probably a better/much more obvious answer tbh #idk if canon ever talked about his age/his and arthurs childhood?#bbc merlin #leon #ask

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

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hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal”

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely).

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’)

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends.

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here).

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious!

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person. Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp sebastian #gen z pureblood mc #i had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this met your expectations friend! c:#comte and leo: uwu grandparents #mozart: okay BOOMER #napo: HAHAHA shithead siblings i love it #arthur and shakes: wouldn't you like to know weather boy. 'where are your parents??' (parts one and two)#vincent and isaac: BRUH S A M E S I E S #theo: **meme voice** 'is there anything worse than a rapist?' BOOM 'a child.' 'N O!'#jeanne: endearing but out of touch uncle while dazai is WOOOOO LET'S DRINK BLEACH uncle #sebastian: ah yes ty for the modicum of brain cells and competence that also shatters gender norms my good bi bitch #**Gilligan's cut to MC and Dazai wearing sunglasses and matching hats that read 'i put the (me) in disappointment'**

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arizona-trash-bag · 3 years ago

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I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year. All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #danmei #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 5 years ago

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Lauren IG Live///Anxiety

youtube

I was part of my night thinking about Lauren's Instagram Live. Especially where she talks about her anxiety and what triggered the problem. She mentioned that her anxiety came much further back in time when the TXF thing happened and by browsing her blog I was able to understand one of the reasons why her anxiety could have been so tangible.

It is a clear sign that Lauren apparently grew up with the typical pressure of the older sister. The one who has to get good grades, be the first in the class, give a good image to the younger siblings and follow the rules, leaving the younger siblings free to do whatever they want because they are younger. And Lauren's post about her sister listening to the TV in loud volume as she tries to study seems to confirm it. Since I joined the fandom and got to know Lauren a little, I realized that the dynamics of her and her family were different than the rest of the girls. Especially with Camila but I do not want to put Camila much in this post yet so I will leave it at that. I always felt Lauren more removed from her family. More in their vibe than spending a lot of time with them. I wasn't here during TXF or when Fifth Harmony started but apparently Lauren's parents weren't as involved in taking care of the girls as the rest of the parents, am I wrong? That does not mean that they were not there, because they were, but apparently not in the way that, for example, Sinu was always there with them. For me Sinu Cabello was the second mom of all the girls during all that time and I do not know why but I love to know But back to Lauren and the trigger of her anxiety. If we see the context of where she grew up, with the friends she grew up with. She talked about the pressure of trying to fit into an environment that wasn't really hers, (starting because Lauren was a scholarship student in a private school with a friend with a dad and yes, I'm talking about Lucy Vives), trying to keep up with her. her friends who always lived a more comfortable situation and we all know that Lauren was always more humble is a point to keep in mind. Especially because of how badly Lauren has always brought fame.

This photo is very special to me because of how her and Lauren's friends look. In the image I feel Lauren as a little dot too cute to be surrounded by popular girls. (And beware, that does not mean that they are bad friends because I like their friends, my reference is not if the girls are good with Lauren or not, but rather I am talking about the image itself. The visual representation of the photo) . But the pressure of wanting to fit into a group that doesn't really belong to you or doesn't feel 100 percent identified is bullshit. Should not exist. There should be no social groups or pigeonholes. That is the most damaging thing that can exist within a school, university or even work environment. The human being should be free to roam around as many groups as he wants, take experiences from different people and not be identified as part of a certain group just because of your style of dress or if you have money or not. I hate that stupid hierarchy with all my soul. I am grateful that I did not have that in my college years, I was more a free spirit who went at my own pace and used to get together with the people with whom I was more in tune and tried to talk to everyone. I never felt that pressure to fit in because I was always in lay public schools. But Lauren's pressure was triple. Not only did she feel the need to fit in, but she also had to hide for years her sexual preference for fear of discrimination and bullying.

Every time I think about it, it fucks my soul because it's not fair. It's not fair that she had to go through all of that before TXF and then all the shit that happened during the band time ... Lauren if you ever read this I admire you girl. Fuck, I wouldn't have survived that shit a million years. How they manage to survive extreme pressure, because the industry is toxic that really hurts you. I do not know. But if there is one good thing behind TXF and Fifth Harmony it is that it brought together a group of girls so different that they fit in. Just like Camila and Lauren fit separately or just like Dinah and Normani fit (Poor Ally always hangs in the air ...) I don't know if my point was understood but I understand Lauren's constant struggle and that she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life, but I'm sure the years will give her more wisdom, more temperance. She will have more tools to deal with what comes her way because if there is one good thing that the years leave you with it is the experience and the opportunity to know yourself more and she will achieve it. Lauren, Camila, Dinah, Normani and Ally are survivors. Survivors from an environment as toxic as the music industry but I think that with a good support system behind them, they will be fine. And Lauren, she will be even wiser than she already is and I hope to continue here to see it.

#lauren jauregui #anxiety #ig live #camila cabello #fifth harmony #dinah #normani #ally #txf #personal thoughts

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092219archive · 4 years ago

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i’ve been watching ffxiv cutscenes for the main story (pushing thru heavensward right now) and i’ve been thinking of stuff for my wol lately so i guess now’s a good time to introduce them a bit :-)

here’s a link to the og meme: Self Insert Development Meme

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

wol’s currently nameless... i can’t use with the usual “eren” as per the naming conventions of each ffxiv race (i will use wol!eren to indicate, well, My WoL). maybe if i wanted them to be a hyur i’d be able to, but i’ve been hopping back and forth between aura (raen) or viera (veena)...

edit (8/4): i keep forgetting to update this lmfao,, but my wol’s name is momo and they’re an aura (raen)!

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

there’s only maybe one person who’s aware of the character(s) that i’m maybe. MAYBE. maybe. looking at (eros Do Not Interact). no names as i refuse to acknowledge/perceive them in any manner.

but, the relationship’s still in the works,, i’m thinking it’s a lot of it’s gonna have to focus on positions of power/hierarchies... maybe a bit of slowburn... for spice.

i feel like any rom relationship i could build might. be slow burn. oops!

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

in terms of story, i think wol!eren’s really close to alphinaud; i get familial vibes from him (and actual wol spends a very large chunk of time with him as well)... but personally, i’m thinking estinien. yea he’s a bit of an asshat but he’s cool (but ig that makes wol!eren a bit of an asshat too)

when it comes to who wol!eren’s not close with... honestly, anyone that abuses their position of power for selfish and harmful reasons at the expense of people go on the hit list. but even then, if the character’s one of the main characters/shown often then it’s like... i’d have to think about it a little more. happens a lot

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

hmm much like my other s/is, wol!eren delves on their past often despite their preaching of looking forward. a hypocrite they are!! (/s) a lot of my self ships also delve on like. “same hat” so... honestly they’re just kinda going with the flow and walking wherever they feel is an easy path. they’re a pretty passive person despite the role they’ve been given.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if they're evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

as per the narrative, they were chosen by hydaelyn and have the echo. however, they’re also extremely perceptive. they can typically tell whether someone has good intentions or not. the issue is that it’s always a feeling and they usually don’t have anything to prove their claims. as a result, they rarely say anything about it. it's not really a “power” but it can certainly be helpful.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

i plan on wol!eren being a summoner! or maybe not exactly a summoner, but something to do with magic being used offensively. they hate getting their hands dirty so they’ll just blow you up instead.

they mainly fight because it’s their duty/obligation to fight, but had they not been in the position they were, they’d have sooner leave combat and live off the grid. nobody really knows this because they never voice it -- it also wouldn’t be good for a warrior of light to say “yea i hate my job and i don’t really care about some of you”, you know?

(7/18) edit: with the help of my ffxiv mutuals, i’ve decided to make wol!eren a black mage :) it’s definitely fitting for their character.

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

REALLY DARK CLOTHING. if they show any skin when they don’t have to, they’ll Perish. i intend for them to wear the void ark clothing for magic users but much like everything else, that’s subject to change. clothing that’s aesthetically pleasing and easy on the eyes is good.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

literally the protagonist but very much desires to be a side character. because they like playing a supporting role more than the main role, they live in “anonymity.” kinda. it’s just hard when the group you’re apart of and gods?? know literally just about everything you’ve been doing.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

they will. eat just about anything they’re given, even if the food’s not super great (like a raccoon.....). they don’t really have any particular favorites and if they do, it’s likely to be meat or basic, easy-to-make dishes.

just anything that’s dark/muted. color colors (blues, purples, etc.) are their favorite.

they very much enjoy doing absolutely nothing, especially now that they’re so busy with working. if they’re free from work even if it’s just for a few seconds, you will find them sleeping. Lazy

if they like something, they’d never say it out right. extremely private and closed off person, so unless you’re really close with them, you’d never know if they truly liked something.

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

literally just anything that inconveniences them. they want things to run smoothly so they don’t have to deal with anything they don’t have to. when something arises that stops them from fulfilling their duties, they’re get irritated. they also just, not the biggest fan of people and socializing.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

they’re easily prone to negative emotions, but it’s not “major/serious” since they’re mostly out of touch with their emotions anyhow. if it gets really bad, they kinda “shut down.”

one way to get under their skin is confront them about personal matters, but you can cheer them up if you have a good sense of humor! alphinaud’s helped with that, albeit unintentionally more often than not.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

i think i did mention earlier that wol!eren really doesn’t like crowds. it takes them a very long time to genuinely consider someone as a friend. sometimes they might not even acknowledge someone even if said person tries their hardest to befriend them. and there’s not really a type of person who they’re really “uncomfortable” with (spoilers they’re always uncomfortable with everything asjfhsd), but i guess if i had to answer, it’s just anybody with potentially harmful intentions?

they have. Trust Issues™, if you will.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

in the past, they wanted to live a comfortable life as a recluse where they can do things without the eyes of others watching... and they still do, but now they’re too accustomed by the presence of people to truly achieve that. after their duties as a wol (if they’re ever completed honestly), they’d probably pull a cloud final fantasy and start a delivery service or something like that LOL

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

sssomething like that? so far i’m thinking they come from a family of arooound 5. 2 siblings + parents. they have a younger sibling who’s a miqo bard mercenary and an older elezen (?) astrologian currently working somewhere in ishgard. debating on who their parents are but all of them were kinda... “picked up” and put into a family.

the “parental figures” were desperate to have a family but they had little knowledge of how to care for children. needless to say, the environment was not one to flourish in.

miqo brd is kinda like robin hood where he steals from the upper class to give to the poor because he refuses to allow people who’re in need suffer due to a lack of resources. on the other hand, the ast is the elezen who wants nothing but peace. the downside is that he’s very aggressive with his ideals and follows people like the archbishop, thordan.

edit (7/18): wol!eren wasn’t tied to their family biologically, but due to their questionable actions and words, they cut ties with their family and started traveling alone. it was extremely difficult but because they didn’t stay in confines of their own home, they were able to meet the scions and the not.

alphinaud and alisaie are like their siblings. they share a surprisingly a deep, unspoken familial bond with the three because of all the adventures they went on together. wol!eren’s been caught acting like an older sibling to the two.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

much like the actual in-game wol, i’d imagine that anybody that wants to stop the wol in their tracks are considered “enemies.” i haven’t gotten that far into ffxiv to really name characters though,, tba.....

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

if ur into ffxiv and u’ve gotten this far down... thank u :) and talk to me abt ur wols or ur ffxiv faves in my inbox maybe?? 👀

#eren chats #long post #<that is not a joke this got really long #info subject to CHANGE but i wanted to throw what i've been brainstorming here #i'm gonna go continue heavensward now #gonna start 3.1 :~)

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