#have fun and don't fuck it up for everyone

[sadlittleratboy]

As someone who works in mental health: Self-care (a word I think people sometimes misunderstand to mean "treating yourself", and while it can occasionally encompass a little treat, it is often more like maintenance, things like: having fun, relaxing, and even chores like dishes or brushing your teeth daily) is literally the only way you can continue to do emotional labor for people. You cannot pour from an empty glass, and it's true that you have to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. If someone is making you feel guilty for taking care of yourself they are not your friend and are in fact miserable people, or straight up lying to you (practicing their self-care in secret). Take breaks, don't involve yourself in every fucking tragedy that's happening in the world, or even involve yourself in none of them if your own life is imploding. The nightmares will still be there when you are ready to tackle them, if you ever get to that point. You are allowed to take care of you. Being self-centered is not always a bad thing. Always putting others first will inevitably make you a bitter person who's unwilling to help anyone with anything. Put yourself first when you need to, and understand that so many Not Good things are happening in the world at the same time it is genuinely unreasonable to think you need to speak on all of them.

And the argument of "you get to shut it out/turn it off and these people don't" is awful, by the way. Just because there is misery in the world does not mean you have to be miserable. Everyone has shit going on that feels like it could be world ending, and while obviously you should be empathetic in understanding that someone might be going through something more disastrous/dangerous than you, but that does not mean you aren't allowed to give yourself peace and happiness. Ultimately, that is what everyone is trying to do right now, even if it's just for an hour.

"how can you be blogging about fun stuff while this horrible thing is going on?"

there's always horrible things going on somewhere. if you refuse to calm down until it all stops, all you'll do is give yourself a stroke

[hotvintagepoll]

Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?

you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.

here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.

(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)

"I want to watch something SILLY!"

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!

Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)

The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?

"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."

Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.

To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason

"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)

The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)

The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)

"Can I just get more hot people please?"

Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)

Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)

The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)

[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]

[yanmuffins]

Unfortunately with the p & f reader. I think you’re missing out so much hijinks.

For example:

- luthor thinking reader is his kid and petitioning a paternity test to try and take custody

-or giving a full scholarship to said reader and internship at LuthorCorp

-the league of assassins coming after reader when everyone is out of the house and reader casually home alone-ing their way to safety. (Damian knew, still has no evidence, has no idea what reader did with the bodies)

-reader building a complete android copy of Alfred so he can go on vacation and have help around the house

-_doing the same to Damian for mild psychological warfare. (He started it)_

-improving the bat gadgets because reader is annoyed when they don’t work as well, and gaslighting the family into thinking Lucius Fox did it

-reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets.

-winning back to back science fairs, being shown in magazines, and has scholarships galore but the family still doesn’t notice. (Much to Alfred and Damian’s rage)

-it taking Damian being nice to her and trying to be a good sibling to actually get the rest of the family’s attention and to reveal her semi secret genius.

this is brilliant!! all of this!!! love how this leans a bit more into the malicious p&f! reader version rather than oblivious one. few things i want to comment:

i cannot even imagine (i can, actually) how bruce would react to lex luthor just waltzing in and saying hey. what if we, high-profile CEOs of huge companies, go to court over the paternity and custody of your child who i think might be mine? that's absolutely not going to be a media scandal :)

this implies either that:

1) lex luthor has fucked p&f! reader's mother

2) p&f! reader's mother has fucked both lex luthor and bruce wayne. who is she.

or

3) lex luthor is aware he cannot be p&f! reader's bio dad but just decided he wanted to try and steal bruce wayne's kid one day because of their brilliance and potential, and that's such a petty?? absurd thing to do just because???

but unfortunately for luthor (and any other villains), p&f! reader is a nepobaby who can very well work in their father's company if they want or need an internship and that's where bruce is sending them. no such thing as "i want to make my own way in the world" for p&f! reader in this one. bruce will not let them work anywhere else.

(on another note, it's so fun writing about a reader who is filthy rich for a change. a villain comes up to them offering full scholarships and a promising internship in their evil companies but like. their father is literally bruce wayne.)

and like. still on the paternity drama thing. lex luthor can always handle that privately, but why would he? and something like that wouldn't stay under wraps, tbh. lex luthor better sleep with one eye open from then on, he might find wayne enterprises has acquired a sudden interest in absorbing lexcorp…

i think i've answered an ask regarding the league of assassins? not sure, but a "home alone" setting for neglected! reader would make such a good one-shot fic in general (christmas is just around the corner too!). i don't think p&f! reader would kill anyone but they would sure know to defend themselves and immobilize any threats through their gadgets and last-minute traps.

there's two possibilities as to how this could end,

1) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor in complete disarray and a bunch of unconscious bodies piled up on the garage with p&f! reader just standing there, unphased.

2) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor just the way they left it, perhaps even a bit more tidy. there's no bodies, the footage has been deleted, damian knows the league of assassins has been in the manor but once again, cannot prove it. he's fuming but has a newfound respect for their blood sibling. roll credits.

realistically, they would be made aware of people raiding the house through its security system and come back running, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's p&f! reader we're talking about here.

as for the gadgets, i can imagine p&f! reader finding out or figuring out their family are vigilantes except the batfam doesn't know they know, and so they come and go the batcave when no one is looking. improves the gadgets out of pure boredom and leaves. except they do it in a way that is so subtle that the batfam take a certain time to consider there's someone messing with their stuff. it's like that one prank where you just keep replacing a person's pen before it runs out of ink.

"reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets."

that's essentialy pet sematary by stephen king, and we all know how that went. evil little undead pets running around the manor trying to murder the batfam because... p&f! reader was feeling bored and unhinged, i suppose.

you're right about damian being one of the reasons why the batfam starts paying attention to p&f! reader. alfred has been trying to get them to notice their cast-aside sibling for a while now, but damian being close to reader (trying to bust them or just hanging out) makes it impossible to ignore them. first, by associating with damian, and second by being a gifted child who has been pulling dangerous, insane and impossible stunts that deny all logic.

but looking back, it should be obvious. their room is filled with trophies, medals, rosettes, newspaper/magazine cutouts speaking of their achievements, were featured on the metropolis as well as gotham news multiple times, and pretty much everyone seems to know what they're up to. and yeah. "they feel pretty bad" is an understatement.

damian noticed, though. he might gotten into trouble himself for participating in some of those stunts (which he thinks is unfair), but at least he can brag about being a decent sibling and triumphantly say "shame on you" to everyone else but alfred.

[yaseraphinee]

pick a card 2 - what do people like about you ? 

PILE 1.

The Star , 3 of Cups , 4 of Wands, King of Pentacles, Justice, The Emperor, 4 of cups, 3 of swords

The girls’ girl pile :  “90% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is that nobody knows if it’s real or not.”

If you're not a girl or don't identify as such, this pile might not resonate. 

You really know how to have fun and bring fun anywhere you go. You are always down to party. You might have hosted or organized parties and people think you’re the best host ever! You probably did one or two memorable parties that were so good even though it was a while ago people still remember until this day and probably still talk about it months, even years after. 

If you haven’t hosted parties, then you’re the life of the party anywhere you go! People truly get addicted to your infectious energy : you’re not afraid to share your cup with others. Just like in the 3 of cups’ illustration, you raise a toast with everyone you meet, celebrating the small wins in life, not afraid that your cup might spill a bit from the shock of the metals together.

People like how you dance and move your body. You’re probably a really good dancer. You’re not scared to embarrass yourself by being the only one on the dancefloor at a dull party. You simply don’t care of other people’s judgements : you came to a party/club , you’re here to FUCKING DANCE. You’re probably the type to not understand why people don’t dance in clubs like the girl you paid to be here. Why are you shyly swinging like that ??!! get your ass up and dance! 

People love your confidence and how contagious it is. You remind me of Maddy Perez from Euphoria. Even if you don’t identify with being a woman, you have this undeniable star quality and fierceness that makes people both envious and inspired. (I just realized I wrote “love” here instead of “like” as the title of the pick a card indicates/suggets. There is just something about that is so out of the ordinary that people simply cannot have mild reactions about you. You incite extreme emotions inside people the moment you walk in a room. The energy, the way you smile. Everything.

People like the fact that you’re probably a girl’s girl. Even though you have a really intimidating exterior and girlboss energy, you also have this softer side that makes people feel so safe. I think you probably went through hell and back to attain the confidence that you have today. Part of your purpose here is probably to help people feel better in their skins. You’re a baddie healer basically. I am seeing girls’ bathrooms in clubs or other public areas like that. You probably helped many girls/ or heartbroken people who were hiding in the bathroom during a party. The type of girl in middle school/ high school that instead of making fun of a girl for having a period stain, would tell her and help her change/ or get rid of the stain without telling anyone. The type of girl in a group that sees that one person that is left out and that asks about their opinion regarding the conversation they're having so that they feel included. The type of girl that would give beauty tips to girls who struggled with their “femininity” growing up or were in a strict or religious household that didn’t let them put makeup on or act girly.

The scene with Lexi and Maddy, where Maddy teaches Lexi about confidence while putting lip liner on her, sums up this “girls’ girl” side of you. Lexi says she feels stupid with the makeup on. To that, Maddy answers that everyone feels stupid and  that it's a choice that she made to stop feeling that way. Lexi replies that she doesn't know if she is able to stop feeling stupid so maddy tells her that “ 90% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is that nobody knows if it’s real or not.” 

(do you work in the beauty industry by any chance ? like are you a nail tech, a hairdresser, a makeup artist or an esthetician ? there is something prominent about that field of work here.) 

Placements you might have : moon in leo, sun in leo, moon in aries, sun in aries, sun in sagittarius, cancer placements, Venus in cancer, Venus in Leo, Pluto in the 1st house, Chiron in an angular house (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th house), Chiron in Leo, North node in Leo, North node in Aquarius, Mars in Leo, Aries or Sagittarius, Mars in Libra, Saturn in Leo, Sun in leo conjunct Saturn, Saturn in the 5th house, 8th house placements, Lilith in Leo, Lilith in Aquarius

You might have a master number as a Lifepath ( life path 11, 22 or 33. For you I am mostly picking up life path 11 or 33, The illuminator/Psychic and the Spiritual teacher.)

=> link of the scene with Maddy and Lexi about confidence

SONG : Feel it - Ayesha Erotica (the song is so spot on i swear ayesha's songs are the epitome of leo energy slayy)

PILE 2.

Page of Pentacles, 6 of cups, 4 of cups, Judgement, The Hierophant, The Moon, The Hanged Man, 9 of swords

A diamond in the rough

First and foremost, this pile has a really different energy from pile 1. They’re probably even opposite lol. If you want to read pile 1 before reading this one, don't hesitate as it might help you understand the description better (which is not so clear at times).You are literally the person that is helped/ or feels healed by the archetype of person described in pile 1.  It’s like both of your piles are complementary.

You might lack a bit of self-confidence, and might have a hard time affirming yourself yet I weirdly feel this is what people like about you ?? It’s like maybe they see you holding yourself back when you could accomplish so much but they are not concerned for you because they know you will accomplish great things in life eventually.

You can be a bit  shy or reserved, and people like that about you. They think it's cute.

People like your social awkwardness. Despite having a hard time socializing, you still try your best to keep up with the conversations and what is going on around you and people find it really cute. It’s like people like the fact that they can protect you, or defend you. You might appear like you’re often lost or in your head.

People like the fact that they can see your potential before you can even see it yourself.

It's kind of weird to be honest but it’s like they like the fact that they can imagine endless possibilities for your future.

They like the fact that you don’t see your potential in a way ?? It’s hard to explain because it doesn’t come from ill intentions at all

They like how talented you are. I am picking up on how raw your talent is. They like your raw beauty, your raw talents : your raw everything. There is something so real about you. I don’t think you do it consciously but you have no filters : you live your life in all honesty and authentically.

This might not be for everyone but I am picking up that some of you are like this because you’re neuroatypical/ neurodivergent. It’s just the way your brain works naturally.

They like how “naive” you are, not in a derogatory sense as in “you don’t understand life” but they find it refreshing that you just live and experience things without suppressing your true inner feelings

They like how you live your emotions fully, whether they’re good or bad. This might make people uncomfortable at times, because your rawness subconsciously triggers their shadow and what they suppress in their lives.

People basically like how you act as a mirror without intending to. They like that you work as a catalyst for change, but you’re not even aware of it.

People see that you have a superpower, something that you do naturally that they could never achieve and they like it. Just like pile one you trigger AND inspire them at the same time but in a different way.

They like how unique you are. You truly are a diamond in the rough.

This pile was a little shorter than the other piles, but I think the message is just pretty straightforward.

Placements you might have : sun in aquarius, sun in pisces, neptune dominant, Uranus and Neptune in the first house, Pisces stellium, Aquarius stellium, Gemini rising, Virgo rising, Libra rising, Venus in Capricorn, Saturn in the 6th house, Pluto in the 4th house, 5th house and 4th house placements, Saturn in the 2nd house, Jupiter in the 4th house, 5th house

SONGS : Perfect night - LE SSERAFIM / Chilhood dreams - ARY / Class of 2013 - Mitski

PILE 3.

Ace of cups, Strength, Temperance, Page of Cups, The Sun, 8 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles (i started your pile and didn’t realize the Queen of Cups was hidden under the Page of cups! You probably evolved a lot and serve as an example to many people around. Going from a Page to a Queen is not easy at all)

Top of the deck was The High Priestess.

The Spiritual Warrior

First and foremost, you got 3 major arcanas, and 2 out of the 3 fell first.. damn… Don’t tell the other piles but this might be the most powerful pile of the reading lmaoo

You might be older, like in your forties, thirties. Even if you’re not, you just had to grow up really fast and take on a lot of responsibilities early. You probably experienced a divorce or some sort of loss that made you jaded towards life for a while. But then, you were reborn. 

People like your authoritative energy. You command respect, you incite some sort of fear inside people. However, a group of younger people might see you as an example. They might see you and think to themselves : “I want to be like them when I grow up. And I'll do anything that I can”. Driven youngsters see you as a role model. They aspire to attain the quiet confidence you have today. 

Children probably like you, they feel safe around you. You have healing energy, but it isn’t exactly soft, like one of a fairy for instance. You’re more of a monk or a nun. You don’t necessarily try to spread positivity. You aim to find inner peace, and this inner power will be alchemized as an aura that heals. Your mere presence is healing. You don’t have to say a word. Your gaze and aura do all the job for you, and that’s because you are extremely aligned with the universe.

Oblivion by Grimes is currently playing as I am doing your pile. The song is really disturbing, kind of haunting in a way and is about a traumatic experience Grimes went through. She explained the meaning behind this song in an interview saying : “The song is about being violently assaulted and it made me crazy for a few years. I got really paranoid walking around at night and started feeling really unsafe. The song is more about empowering myself physically amongst a masculine power, and the hate of feeling powerless, making light of masculine physical power, making it jovial and non-threatening. I took a typically violent cultural situation and made it pop and happy.”

You might relate to this in a way or might have lived a similar experience before.

“See you in a dark night” is a prominent lyric here. Are you part of the Pluto in Scorpio generation perchance ?  There is this thing where you might have been a really giving person in the past. You were like a fairy, probably the "panic pixie girl" archetype (you don't have to be a girl by the way). However, many losses in your life made you lose that innocent spark. Now, despite not being as cheerful and positive as you were before, you hold a deep, almost lethal strength inside of you.

There is a lot of Yellow, Blue and White in your spread. Your chakras are definitely aligned and it’s powerful. You probably have a really similar aura to angels. Your aura might be white. There is a glow, a light that follows you everywhere you go. 

=> Energetically speaking, white is thought to be a very high vibrational color, relating to pure light. As spiritual author Shannon Kaiser tells mbg, "White is the rarest of all aura colors and indicates purity, integrity and a high level of spirituality."

People almost have no words to describe what they like about you. They’re simply left speechless.

I want to say “they like”, but stronger words such as “love” keep on coming up. People cannot just LIKE you, they get addicted and fascinated by your energy.

They like your energy, your otherworldly energy. 

People like your wisdom and your mysterious demeanor. 

People like the fact that you are a mystery, but your energy doesn’t want them to know more about you. They like the mystery just as it is. 

People like how fascinating you are. 

People like how resourceful you seem

People like how you seem like an immovable object. Nothing seems to be able to make you flinch, or react. 

People like how your gaze reveal so much but nothing at the same time.

People like how you embody the sentence/ quote “Everything, Everywhere, all at once”. (I don’t really know what this is supposed to mean exactly but this might be relevant to you / maybe the movie ?)

People like the way you look too - if you know about face type essences and kibbe body type you’re probably have Angelic (ethereal) face type essence and a Dramatic body type. You look like you could play in series like Game of Thrones or just that you came straight out of a sci-fi movie or fantasy novel

What people like about you is directly linked to the effect you have on them : your existence leaves them speechless

I am getting the word “ineffable” would describe how people see you and what they like about you. The meaning of that word is “something that is too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.”

Placements you might have : to be honest, your energy is so complex that it’s hard to pick up on specific placements. I am only getting aura colors.

Maybe Pluto harshly aspecting the first house, a lot of asteroids in the first house, chiron might be prominent in your chart, 8th house placements, 12th house placements, 10th and 11th house placements, Lilith in the 11th or 12th house

Signs that this pile might be you : chakra candles, spirituality, divination; angel gabriel, goddesses, angels, you might really spiritually connected, 1010, 1111, 777, 444, angel numbers

SONG : Oblivion - Grimes

[lu-is-not-ok]

A Narcissistic reading of Hong Lu

Yup, I'm actually doing this.

To lay down some facts first: I have NPD, alongside a bunch of other things that coalesce into a nuclear concoction strong enough to kill every dark empath in a five mile radius. If I find you ableisting it up, I give myself the permission to smite you. This is a threat and a warning.

Now, let's talk about Hong Lu. Because as it turns out, he might just be the most difficult literacy check in Limbus Company according to what I've seen.

I could just say "I'm a narcissist and Hong Lu is just like me fr fr so he's a narcissist too" and end the post, but honestly, where's the fun in that? There are, legitimately, things I want to yap about, so I'm going to yap about them, and no chucklefucks can stop me.

So, to start this off, let's make one thing clear.

Hong Lu is not only a good actor, but also a skilled liar. The way he navigates conversations and the methods he uses are just as important to analyze as the actual words he says, if not more so. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that trying to understand him based Only on what he says and not how he uses the things he says would result in an understanding that's not only incomplete, but potentially outright wrong.

Now, this isn't really tied to why I think Hong Lu could be very reasonably read as having NPD, at least not directly. Narcissists aren't inherently evil liar manipulators, and if that's what you take away from this post, that's more of a you problem (and you can go ahead and block me considering I'm one of the evil liar manipulator narcissists according to you).

However, there is a reason why I have to bring it up. And it's because almost all of Hong Lu's narcissistic traits become a lot more obvious once you look at the exact ways he takes control of conversations.

With that out of the way, what exactly are we even looking for?

NPD, in my experience, primarily affects one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I personally found that the analogy of a pendulum makes the most sense to me - a narcissist's sense of self-worth can swing between massive highs and massive lows, almost never staying in a middle "balanced" position, with even the tiniest things being able to throw it to one side or another.

The ways this can present outwardly are. Quite frankly, way too fucking many to count. But there are some common threads we can keep in mind:

High sensitivity to criticism

Need for an external source of validation

Tendency to seek out ways to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful

So, does Hong Lu fit those criteria?

Well. Yeah. This post wouldn't exist if he didn't.

Let's talk about the first point, high sensitivity to criticism. And, immediately, I would like everyone to remember Hell's Chicken, specifically the scene where Meursault begins to verbally roast his team's dish, and in the process laying down a verbal smackdown on everyone involved. That scene ended like this.

Curious, isn't it? The moment Meursault was about to start criticising Hong Lu, he just jumps in and distracts Meursault with a change of topic - something even Dante's narration points out.

Mind you, this isn't an isolated event. This is just the most obvious example of Hong Lu exhibiting this kind of behavior.

Don't believe me? Just look at these.

These are all examples of Hong Lu either backpedaling, changing the subject, or otherwise trying to avoid the acknowledgement of something that criticizes his status, thought process, or (in the last example) which would reveal an emotional vulnerability.

This is a fairly consistent pattern for him, and that's not even getting into the fact that the line he says when hovering over him before a skill check he has a Very Low chance at succeeding in has him suddenly try to excuse himself and leave.

Hong Lu is absolutely highly sensitive to criticism, it's just that his primary emotional reactions aren't ones we're privy to. Instead, what we get to see is how he acts to try and minimize the impact of those criticisms, if not outright find ways to never let them leave someone's mouth in the first place.

Next up - need for external validation.

This one doesn't have as many examples as the previous point, as Hong Lu is a generally closed off person who keeps a certain level of distance from most other Sinners. However, that doesn't mean I don't have any.

One such example comes from Canto 4, where soon after acting out his part in the play, Hong Lu seeks validation from Yi Sang.

Then there's this moment in Canto 6, where Hong Lu, once again, seeks validation for something he's done.

And then there's also these lines from Hong Lu's various Identities.

Aaaand then there's these base Identity voice lines, which, if you ask me, feel a bit like fishing for compliments.

This point is a lot harder to say is a definitive one, mainly due to Hong Lu's more closed off projected personality. That being said, the fact that one can find examples of it despite that is pretty notable.

And for the final one - trying to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful.

This is one that's a bit harder to provide exact examples for, as again, Hong Lu isn't someone who talks about how he feels often, and when he does it's not always exactly trustworthy. He's not like Rodya, who while still putting on a facade, is pretty open and easy to read about how she actually feels.

But, there's still some non-mutually exclusive interpretations I want to posit here. Two, in fact.

One - I believe that for Hong Lu, the thing he sees as power is control.

See, avoiding criticism isn't the only time Hong Lu steers conversations. In fact, it's something he does All The Time. He's often the one asking questions to get the group moving, trying to gather information that might be relevant to him, and generally taking over the direction a conversation is going in. Chances are, if Hong Lu speaks up, it's likely to alter the conversation he joins in noticeable ways.

This, I think, is one of the ways Hong Lu makes himself feel more powerful. After all, it's not that hard to guess from what little bits of his background we have that Hong Lu lacked agency for most of his life. So, wouldn't it make sense for him that having that agency, that being able to be socially in control, would be the exact kind of thing that would boost his self-esteem?

In fact, the only times we see him rendered completely speechless, seemingly stripped of that confidence in conversations he usually exhibits, are in Canto 7 - specifically in scenes where he's Not In Control of what the others are talking about. Those scenes being when the other Sinners start shit-talking Xichun in front of him, and when Xichun actively tries to bother Hong Lu by alluding to the way he's been treated back at home.

Extremely confident until something external happens that utterly strips him of that confidence... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Then, there's the second interpretation.

See, with NPD, there are two ways a narcissist can try to make themself feel more deserving of attention. One is the one most probably think of when they think about narcissists - setting out to fulfill extremely high goals to feel amazing when one reached them and then feeling utterly crushed in the case one doesn't. This would be someone like Rodya.

However, there is also another way, one which I personally have much more experience with - to undersell. To set extremely low expectations, so that it's as hard as possible to fail reaching them, and to feel way better upon surpassing them than one would with higher, more "regular" expectations.

This, to me, is exactly the kind of narcissist Hong Lu is. Think about it. He's constantly putting out this image of an extremely sheltered person that barely understands the outside world, with notable moments where it's made clear he's Just Making Shit Up at points. Wouldn't making one seem unable to do anything, only to then proceed to do things you've led people to not expect of you, make it feel like you're much more exceptional than you really are?

The underselling goes the other way too. When the other Sinners point out something odd about Hong Lu in a more positive way, he's often quick to point out how it's Nothing compared to what his Family expected of him. Wouldn't that make one feel exceptional, to make it seem like whatever effort you're putting in to do well is but a fraction of what else you can do? That you don't even have to try to be able to be special?

...So, there. That's all the analysis and interpretation I find important to do to get my point across.

Just to make it clear, I don't think that the only thing wrong with Hong Lu is the narcissism. There's definitely a lot more shit going on in that head of his. But, I'll be honest, the NPD reading felt so obvious to me that it genuinely took me by surprise that other people don't see it.

Though... maybe I shouldn't be shocked. Some fuckers out there still think Faust is a narcissist when she's literally just autistic.

[explorerrowan]

So I'm really enjoying the game No Man's Sky this year. With the patches Hello Games has released this year, it's finally feeling like the game they promised and always wanted to make back in 2016. The ships, stations, and missions are more interesting and diverse, the planet generation has really stepped up with more biomes and creatures (including oceanic and undersea stuff!), and all in all, it feels like a huge, diverse, sandbox universe to fuck around in while not feeling too empty.

The seasonal Expeditions have especially been fun. I've participated in three of them now, Aquarius, Cursed, and Beachhead Redux, and they were all great. I especially liked Aquarius, partly because I did it at a stressful time this fall and needed some time when I could just relax and catch some virtual fish. Probably the primary complaint I have is that the Expeditions are not especially newbie-friendly. Expeditions often change certain game rules (like restricting certain tech) to make sure the players participate in the Expedition's loose plot. So you kinda already have to have a certain amount of familiarity with the normal rules to know how to adapt to the changes. (The Cursed expedition was especially bad about this, since it effectively banned hyperspace travel and restricted you to portal travel to go from star to star, which frequently made objectives less obvious or harder to complete.)

Also, I really like the stuff that happens after you complete the main questline. You can meet a whole new race of robot people called the Autophage, and they're so sassy and independent compared to the Korvax and I love them. Not going to give too many spoilers about them so I don't detract from people who might play their questline, but they built their own bodies out of scrap metal and they're so proud of themselves (to the point that they call everyone else "pre-built" almost like an insult) and it feels very trans metaphor to me.

Tell me about your hyperfixation while I pose dramatically beside you.

[ashwhowrites]

Hello, I love your stories and I hope you can make my fun request

Can you do Eddie Munson x Death fem reader

So hear me out let's say there in the upside down (11 and everyone isn't in California there in Hawkins and in the upside down with them and while they where chilling out in the upside down when Steve got hurt all of the sudden they heard whistling and turned and see a badass fem reader and walked up to 11 and starts toying with her (just like the wolf from puss and boots yk Death and when they figured out she's actually death they somehow get her a change of heart (after she tried to kill 11 and showed off her power a bit) and her and Eddie fall in love or Eddie falls first.

Sorry if it’s long

This was actually so fun and I loved writing the Death character. So if anyone else loves it, feel free to request ( once they are open ) for more death reader. I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Death was inspired by Rio from Agatha all along, won't lie. But the Death character is NOT Rio. If that makes sense. Just don't think Aubrey plaza is the reader because she's not, just was an inspiration so I wanted to give the credit to that.

Lady Death

"I FUCKING hate these bats," Steve growled. Nancy sat on her knees as she tried to cover Steve's wounds.

"What the hell is this place?" Eddie asked once he caught his breath. All he knew was that he jumped off a boat and was in a hell pit.

"The upside down," El said. She was looking around, almost like she felt the presence of something no one had seen yet.

"Oh great, so I have to fight to survive in the normal world, and now I have to survive in this sewer-type place? And this girl has powers?" Eddie asked frantically. He knew somewhat of everything that was going on, he just didn't believe it was a real place.

"Dude, I've already told you all of this!" Dustin argued.

"No offense, kid. But I figured you were full of shit!'" Eddie spat.

"Guys! Quiet," El demanded. Everyone went silent as they looked at her. She closed her eyes, trying to feel what was wrong. "There's something here," she whispered.

"Yeah, flesh-eating bats!" Steve hissed.

Before anyone could say anything, El was flung across the ground.

"EL!" Mike shouted, running over to her. But before he could come in contact with her, she was evaluated into the air. The gang watched in horror as she seemed to be held up by her throat, by an invisible force.

"What's going on?" Robin panicked. Nancy worked faster to clean up Steve.

The sound of someone whistling filled their ears. The gang all turned to see a woman walking towards them. She was dressed in a skin-tight green bodysuit, holes on the sides that showed skin, a green crown on her head, and a dangerous smirk playing on her lips.

Everyone stared at her in fear and awe. She was incredibly beautiful, but nothing alive behind her eyes.

"Poor little El, not so strong anymore, huh?" The lady mocked, she flicked her wrist and El fell to the floor. Mike raced over to her, this time able to collect her body in his arms.

"Who are you?" El asked, panting as she took air into her lungs.

"She's Death," Eddie said in awe. Everyone looked at him shocked, how did he know who she was?

Even she was surprised. She was fast, appearing in front of Eddie in seconds as she gripped his neck. Eddie tried to cover up the fact that he was incredibly turned on by her harsh touch.

"Who are you?" she questioned, Eddie blushed under her studying eyes. She took in every inch of his face, something about him was familiar.

"Edward Munson," he choked out. The gang didn't move an inch, staring at the two.

"How do you know who I am?" She released his throat to allow him to speak. She flicked her wrist and everyone in the gang was thrown to the ground. They were stuck, not able to move a muscle.

Eddie was a little scared, looking at his friends and some people he barely knew trapped under her power.

"I've read about you. You collect souls, right? El was supposed to die from Vecna but she escaped. Unfinished business and now you have to finish her," Eddie explained, "am I right, Y/N?"

Y/N stepped away from the boy. She felt uneasy that he seemed to know everything. No one was supposed to know who she was until she took their soul, of course.

With her distracted, the gang ran over to El. El was quick to use her own powers, sending Y/N in the air and harshly crashing into the ground. Her head hit the ground with a thud and her body went still.

"LET'S GO!" Steve yelled, the gang nodded and all ran to make their escape. Eddie went to follow but when he took a look at Y/N's limp body on the floor, he stopped.

"Eddie, come on!" Dustin said, gesturing his hands to show that everyone was leaving.

"We can't just leave her," Eddie argued, against his better judgement he walked towards her.

"You said it yourself, she's Death. I think she's capable of handling a bump on the head," Mike sassed. He was annoyed that Eddie seemed to care about a stranger that was more than willing to kill El.

Eddie ignored Mike's words, kneeling down as he rolled her body over. There was a gash on her head, blood running down the side of her face. Eddie didn't have anything on him to help, but he ripped the end of his shirt and tied it around her head. He watched as his white shirt began to stain with her blood, but he didn't mind.

She couldn't die, he knew that. But he wouldn't feel right leaving her behind with no help at all.

~~~

It's been a few days since the encounter with Death, and she was in everyone's head ( just for different reasons.) El thought of her as a new enemy and most of the gang were terrified to know they were that close to Death.

But she was in Eddie's mind for a different reason. When he was younger he loved reading about death and what happened in the afterlife. He learned what death was, who death was. She's been around for centuries but never aged. Still the beautiful girl, who lost her soul too young.

Eddie often felt a connection to her. She didn't have a family, or any friends. People were scared of her, banished her, leaving her alone for years and years. She was like Eddie and Eddie was just like her. He was alone and banished in his own way, but they had much in common.

He couldn't leave her behind because he understood the pain of being alone. The pain of everyone running away, terrified. He wanted her to feel cared about for once.

Something about Eddie humanized her in a sense. She hadn't felt anything in her body since she died. She didn't feel emotions, her heart, not even her lungs. But when she was near him, touching and seeing him, she felt a beat in her chest. A flutter in her stomach.

Her body felt alive

She was able to trace where he lived from the property of his shirt. She carried the blood stained shirt in her hand as she walked through the woods, looking for his trailer park.

She felt that same beat in her chest as she walked past a small trailer. Random chairs in the front and an ash tray by the door. She walked away, the beat in her chest decreasing. With furrowed eyebrows, she walked backwards, the beat increased.

"Well look at that, having a heart is good for something," she scoffed, turning in the direction of the trailer.

She didn't knock, using her powers to fling the door right off the hinges.

Eddie was brushing his teeth when he heard his front door slam a wall.

"Shit!" He swore through his foamy mouth. He figured a big gust of wind blew through the door but when he came out, he saw Y/N standing in his house. His toothbrush hung from his mouth as he stared at her in shock.

"On-mf-e-sec-mff," he said through the foam. He turned and raced back in his bathroom to spit out the paste and rinse his mouth. He jumped when Y/N appeared behind him.

"Um, hi," Eddie said, staring at her reflection. She stood tall behind him, peaking over his shoulder. Her hair was down, framing her face. She was in her death clothes, the tight bodysuit making him gulp.

"You gave me this," she spoke bluntly. She held his shirt, hanging from her fingertips. He turned around and grabbed the shirt, tossing it to the floor.

"Thanks for bringing it back," he smiled. She flinched as she felt her heart race. But recovered with a smile.

"You're welcome," she said, turning around and walking out. Eddie followed, confusion on his face.

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked, moving to cut her off. Her body slammed against his and she stepped back. Her face stone cold.

"I dropped off the shirt. That's all that needed to be done," she said. Eddie frowned, thinking about how the only time she's in someone's presence is to kill them.

"Hey, you know you can be around people for fun, not just take their souls," the comment sounded like he was a dick but he was genuine about it. He closed the door and moved to his couch, patting the seat next to him.

She eyed him, moving cautiously and sitting next to him. "Well, thank you," she smiled. "And thank you for helping me."

"You don't have to thank me. I promise my friends are kind people, they just had to fight for their lives a few too many times," Eddie sadly laughed.

"You haven't?" She asked, Eddie could feel her eyes. He turned his head to look at her, trying not to get lost in her eyes.

"I have, I just understand how it feels to be the one that's left behind. I've studied you my whole life and you're not as scary as the books made you seem."

Y/N was in awe of the softness he showed and offered her. She couldn't remember when was the last time she got to be in someone's company.

"And by far more beautiful in person," he said, softer and quieter than before. Her heart fluttered and she felt her skin getting warm.

She felt shy, moving her head to hide away but his hand reached out. She jumped slightly at the feeling of his hand on her warm cheek. The eye contact felt intense, like she was in a trance and unable to look away. She didn't want to anyway, she wanted to stare at him all day long.

"You know, since you brought back my shirt. I think I owe you for your kindness," he whispered. Her stomach flipped as a small smile formed on his face. His perfect pink lips stretched as his white teeth were on display. She turned her head to the side, questioning him.

"You hungry?" He asked, "for food not souls." He clarified. She couldn't help but giggle at his words.

"I could eat," she smiled. He smiled back, standing up and grabbing her hand. He was prepared to go right out the door but then he stopped.

"Would you maybe feel more comfortable in..uh-" he stuttered, still feeling the effects of her suit clinging to her body and showing off her figure. "Comfier clothes?"

"What are the options?"

~

"Steve, if I hear you moan and bitch about the bats one more time, I will cut you myself," Robin threatened.

"I'd like a little support here! I could've died!" Steve argued. Nancy laughed to herself as the two began to argue. Jonathan had his arm thrown around her shoulder, looking down at the menu.

Eddie walked in, his hand in hers as he looked around for an open table. He was shocked to see Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan at a table.

Steve looked up and his eyes locked on Eddie, and then the girl next to him. Eddie gave him a small wave but turned the other direction, leading Y/N. They sat at a table, with her back to his friends.

Steve raced over to their table, he wanted to see if his eyes were seeing things. But as he made it to them, his eyes were right. Eddie was holding hands with Death.

"Can I talk to you?" Steve asked, his eyes on Eddie.

"One second," Eddie said, softly kissing her hand before he let go.

The two huddled over to the side, Steve whispering harshly.

"Are you insane?"

"She's still a person!" Eddie argued

"She's a killer, Eddie. You can't just get sucked into her looks. She's evil."

"She's not! It's a job. She doesn't kill randomly. She only goes when she's called. There's some human inside of her, I'm going to bring it out. She just needs someone to show her" Eddie explained.

"You are going to risk yourself and all your friends because you want to find the human in her?" Steve scoffed, "I don't believe there's any human in her," Steve looked over at the table. She sat drumming her fingers as she twirled a knife in the air with her powers.

Eddie sighed, knowing she wasn't helping his case.

Steve noticed a look in Eddie's eyes. He was desperate and he had this soft look when his eyes cast over her.

"You fell for her already, didn't you?" Steve chuckled. It was nice to see Eddie had a romantic side to him. Steve remembered the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

"Yes," Eddie sighed. "Which I know is crazy but trust me, she came to my house and do you know how easily she could have killed me if she wanted to?"

Steve sighed, he nodded his head. Sometimes he hated being a good friend.

"Well," he puffed, landing his hand on Eddie's shoulder, "Enjoy your date. And the gang will need to hear all about it."

The hand that was on Eddie's shoulder was suddenly ripped off. Steve cried out as his arm was bent backwards behind his back and slammed into a wall.

"Y/N!" Eddie hissed, taking her body off of Steve's.

The rest of the gang looked at the commotion, fast on their feet to run to Steve.

"Sorry!" Y/N said, a look of shock in her eyes. "I felt something burn in my body and lost it."

"From what?" Steve asked, his eyes huge as he sassed the girl, who he now noticed was dressed in Eddie's clothes.

"You touched Eddie," Y/N shrugged. She wasn't exactly sure herself.

"What's going on?" Robin asked. Quickly looking Death up and down, which didn't go unnoticed by Eddie. He snapped his fingers and Robin looked at him.

"Well," Steve said as he rubbed his arm, "looks like Eddie and um Y/N here are on a date."

The gang were shocked, not sure what to say.

"And she's the jealous type," Steve added through his clenched teeth.

"I'll stop by later and talk yeah? I'd like to enjoy my date," Eddie said as he slipped his hand into hers.

"Uh sure," Nancy said, still giving the two a weird look. Jonathan kept quiet, but he was just as confused.

The gang walked back to their table, Robin looking over her shoulder as the two sat back down.

"How the hell did he manage to swing her? She's way too hot for him," Robin scoffed.

"Oh little Rob, we'll get you your own little Death lover," Steve teased.

~~~

Within a few months, Y/N was around more often. She was glued to Eddie's side whenever she could be. Eddie loved it. He loved always having someone on his arm, and he wasn't mad about the kisses that were always placed on his skin.

The gang accepted her, a little on edge at times but she was mostly harmless. It was clear that the two were head over heels for each other in their own ways.

The times she was called to do her work, Eddie waited in his trailer. His heart warming when she appeared back within minutes, claiming she missed him.

Then she'd slide in his lap, Eddie's hands landing on her hips. He rubbed his thumb against her skin, thankful for the holes in her suit. He was guilty of getting hard whenever he saw her dressed in her suit. She was Death so of course she was mean about it. Rocking her hips against him as she slowly kissed his lips.

She was his and he was hers.

Who knew Death could make someone feel so alive.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[mistriavalley]

Okay so I’m loving your smut headcannons and at the bottom of Sam’s you talked about the idea of both Sam and Sebastian fing the farmer. If you’re comfortable w it I would LOVE to know what you have to write about it. Lots of love♥️♥️

Sam's fantasy (Sam x Sebastian x afab!farmer)

Note: This is based on my Sam smut headcanons. You don't necessarily have to read those, but they will give you some context, because I'm basing these headcanons on those

TW: 18+ MDNI, smut, threesome, masturbation, everyone is giving and receiving oral, creampie

Masterlist

As I mentioned in my previous headcanons, Sam is very much open to try almost anything and threesomes aren't an exception. He'd prefer it to be with someone he trusts though and that someone would be Sebastian in this case. It has been a fantasy of Sam's for a while anyways

It's not that he's super attracted to his best friend, but it has definitely crossed his mind a couple times. He has even thought about it while jerking off. Just imagining the sight of you sucking him off while Sebby is fucking you from behind or beneath you

Sam is a bit hesitant about bringing it up though, because he doesn't want you to get jealous or anything, but you wouldn't be reading this if you'd mind a threesome with these two so yea. The fast speed and eagerness you agree with to it, makes him low-key hard

You two decide that it would be the best to have Sam bring it up to Sebastian alone. You're close to him, yes, but you don't want to run into the risk of putting him on the spot or pressuring him if you have too many people there

Once you guys agree on a day, time and place (which is obviously your farm) you and Sam try your best to set the mood a bit. Some scented candles are bathing the living- and bedroom in a nice orange light and depending on the weather you light the fire place as well. Sam suggests to have some music running in the background, but you can't agree on which songs to put on so you just leave it as it is

When Sebastian finally knocks at the door and you guys let him in it's awkward to say the least. He's just standing around with his hands shoves in the pocket of his hoodie, you're sitting rather stiff on the couch and Sam is trying to figure out how to ease the tension a bit. "Does anyone want a drink or...should we go straight at it?"

His ungraceful attempt at lighting the mood earns him a chuckle from both you and Sebby. "Straight at it? You want us to jump on each other or what?" You both poke some more fun at your boyfriend's clumsy wording and everyone quickly relaxes. After a while of just talking and hanging out you guys finally do decide to move it to the bedroom

There it starts rather awkward and slow as well, but once most of the clothes are gone and heated kisses are being exchanged, everything continues on rather smoothly. Soon you find yourself on your back with Sam's hard cock in your mouth while Sebastian is eagerly eating you out

You slightly gag on your boyfriend's dick as the first orgasm of the night washes over you. Your legs instinctively wrap around Sebastian, trapping him between your thighs. Sam lets out a low moan at the sight, almost shooting his load in your mouth, but he holds back his own climax

Everything is kinda a blissful blurr from that point on. There is either a tongue lapping at your swollen clit or a pair of fingers caressing your g-spot while you either get a cock shoved down your throat or pumping a shaft with both hands

The boys give you a small break though. A few minutes to catch your breath. As your eyes flutter open, you're being graced with the sight of Sebastian sucking Sam off and your breath catches in your throat. Your boyfriend has a fistful of black hair in his hand while his best friend is doing a damn good job at deepthroating him. It's making your pussy wetter than it has ever been before

Quickly you crawl over the bed towards Sam and place a deep, hungry kiss on his lips. He groans into your mouth as he gently rocks his hips and holding onto your body for dear life. Then you get an idea and with a mischievous grin you make your way down until you're right next to Sebastian

He's kissing and sucking the tip while you lick the shaft and your hand is fondling Sam's balls. The mix of his pre-cum and Sebastian's saliva tastes heavenly and you can feel something wet run down your inner thighs

But then suddenly Sam sits up and brushes blonde hair strands out of his face. Pearls of sweat are running down his reddened face and his chest is lifting and falling heavily as he pants. "Fucking hell..."

Sebastian quickly takes his place, making himself comfortable with his head on the pillow. His arm is placed under his head and with his free hand, he takes you gently by your cheek and guides you down. Of course you're more than eager to get another taste of him. While your tongue slowly drags along his shaft, from his balls up to his tip, you feel a shift of weight behind you on the mattress

Before you can look over your shoulder to see what's going on, you feel a familiar pressure on your cunt and you automatically lift up your ass higher. As Sam slowly slides in his heavy cock, you take in Sebastian's entire length. You try to bob your head to the speed of the Blonde's hips, but it's so difficult to stay focused while he hits all the good spots

Sebastian's hand gently strokes your head and he tries his best to keep your hair out of your face while Sam is fucking you straight to cloud 9. You feel a familiar knot forming in your stomach and you grab a fistful of the bed sheets while your other hand is looking for support on Sebby's thigh

Your legs shake as you reach yet another climax and you fall slightly forward until you feel the tip of Sebastian's dick hitting the back of your throat. He throws his head back with a moan as he cums into your mouth. The warm liquid tastes a bit salty and sweet at the same time and there is so much of it that it runs down your chin

Shortly after that you feel Sam's cock twitch inside your cunt and his fingers dig into your hips as he fills you up completely. Cum is dripping out of you from all sides and your muscles ache as you fall flat onto the bed. The air is filled with gasps and the smell of sex

"That was...I don't even know, man." You and Sebastian let out a breathless giggle at his words and for the longest time you all are just calming down and catching your breath

"So does anyone want drinks now?" "Sure." "I'll just get cleaned up first."

[rainydayathogwarts]

Fancy ride - Sirius Black

summary: Sirius gets jealous when you're sharing stories from your date with Evan, so you put him in his place. cw: jealous!sirius, caught making out wc: 2.3k+

"It was the most inappropriate joke but something about it just worked, I don't know."

The marauders all sat in the common room, listening to you recall the story of your apparently amazing date with Evan to Lily and Marlene. The girls asked questions about information James and Remus claimed they did not want to know, despite leaning forward to hear you better. Sirius sulked on the couch next to Remus, who had whispered to him to be nice before you'd started your story, well-aware of his feelings for you. Now, looking at the boy, he was shocked. Sure, Sirius always flirted with you, but everyone always thought it was just for shits and giggles, two good friends poking fun at each other. Or at least, Remus thought Sirius just had a little crush - nothing big. He thought Sirius would be ask mean questions about your date, belittling his masculinity, however he only sat silently on the couch with a frown on his face.

Loud giggles from the three girls opposite Sirius had his head snapping up, attention grasped. His eyes locked on you, sitting on the floor laughing, hands clasped around Lily's bicep as you leaned on her for support to sit up straight. Sirius glanced towards the two boys sitting on his right: James's face was flushed pink at the intimate details being shared and Remus was laughing along with you guys in disbelief. "Shit, well how fancy was his ride at least?" Remus added, throwing you and Marlene into another fit of giggles. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding the relevancy to the date. Shit, he wished he was listening now. "Wait I don't get it. He picked you up to the place so you're in love with him now?"

When the laughing calmed down, Marlene scrunched her face up, muttering "What?" With an amused scoff and Lily gave him an almost pitying look that had Sirius throwing his hands into the air in surrender, saying "I zoned out for two seconds, I don't know what happened." You smiled at him, a gorgeous smile that made Sirius feel like the most special person in your life. God, you were too nice to him. He smiled back at you. "No, Sirius. He was my ride, if you know what I mean." Sirius's smile dropped as Lily squealed at the reveal of new information, reaching for her butterbeer. "You fucked!?" Marlene questioned, and you nodded, almost proudly, gesturing towards Remus with a nod. "Remus had a feeling, didn't you Rem?" The boy nodded, leaning back against the couch.

"Hence the question." He said, looking over to James and slapping a hand on the boy's shoulder. He looked horrified. "Jesus prongs, it's as though you've never had sex!" Remus exclaimed with a laugh. "I didn't know this was how girls spoke about us afterwards!" He yelled, voice comedically high-pitched. Despite the commotion, Sirius found your eyes still on him, observing his reaction. You were fiddling with your necklace nervously, afraid that he was judging you. "What? You asked the long-haired boy, making everyone's attention turn towards you. Sirius shook his head quickly "Nothing. I just feel like I should have been listening to the rest of the story now." You laughed at his response, but Sirius could tell it wasn't genuine. You knew he was lying.

"I don't know if James is up to hear any more information-" "Forget James!" Remus interrupted, picking up his butterbeer and rounding the table to sit with you and the girls on the floor. "I want to know." You giggled, and Sirius took note of how the smile reached your eyes this time. "Wait so was the ride taking you, or were you riding the ride?" Marlene not-so-subtly questioned, her eyebrows raised in curiosity. "A little bit of both." Remus hummed, muttering into his bottle "That's probably why I can still smell it on you." You gasped, jumping up and screeching "You're joking! I've showered twice since!" In the corner of your eye, you watched Sirius stand up, walking towards the staircase. Your gaze followed him, head turning to see him disappear up the stairs. James stood up too, jokingly stating "Well I'm going to let you girls finish your little gossip session" before following his best friend. Remus threw a pillow at James, narrowly missing his retreating figure.

When you turned back towards your best friends, finding their eyes locked on you, you retreated into yourself, mumbling "What?" Lily cocked her head to the side, a knowing expression on her face. "Why'd you care so much about what he thinks of your date?" Pointed out Marlene, leaning against the table. Remus's face contorted into one of confusion, going silent as he observed the interaction. You rolled your eyes, turning your attention to the lit fireplace to avoid eye contact with either of your dorm-mates.

"It's fine to admit-" "No I won't!" You cut Marlene off, sharply turning towards her. "Because the second I admit that I like him out loud it becomes real." You whisper-yelled at her. A silence dawned on you and the girls, but Remus gasped loudly. "You like Sirius!?" He asked, matching the volume of your voice and looking around the common room after name-dropping. "Men." Lily scoffed, and you followed her action, scoffing too. "What about Evan?" He asked. "Evan was a date. I had fun with him. Once. It's different with Sirius." Remus put his bottle on the table, the glass making a loud slamming sound as he did. He turned towards you, saying "Y/n he likes you too. He likes you too much." You shook your head at Remus's words, telling him "No, Sirius is protective and pretends to flirt with me to make me feel better about myself. He doesn't like me, he's just pissed I'm not playing his game right now."

Remus's jaw went slack in shock, shaking his head aggressively. "No, no, y/n, Sirius doesn't just flirt with people he doesn't like." Ouch. "Remus!" Lily scolded, watching as your face changed, and your eyes went glassy. "So he just likes everyone then?" You spat, and Remus's eyes widened, shaking his head even faster now. "No, no, you don't get it! You just can't tell when Sirius is actually flirting with someone. There's a very fine line between flirting and being nice for Sirius." He insisted. None of you looked convinced.

"Save your breath Remus, you're not making it any better." The boy ran his hands over his scarred face, thinking up solutions. "I know! He'll just tell you himself!" Your eyes widened when Remus stood up, realisation dawning on you. "Remus no!" You tried, but the boy wasn't listening to you, already halfway to his dorm. Speeding up your pace, you chased Remus up the stairs, only catching his wrist hallway across the hallway when he came to a stop in front of his door. "Remus," you whispered, panting lightly. "Don't." Remus looked at you for a while before finally nodding when he noticed the fearful look in your eyes. Unfortunately, the door to the dorm swung open nonetheless, and you found James stood in front of you. He took a moment to look at you and your hand wrapped around Remus's wrist, confusion settling onto him.

Unluckily for you, directly facing the doorway, Sirius sat at the window nook, smoking a cigarette near the open window. He observed the scene just as James did, and you let go of Remus's wrist, letting your arm fall to your side. Remus looked at you with a pleading look on his face. "Just fucking tell him." You scoffed, an incredulous look on your face. He finds out about your crush and five minutes later has you trying to tell Sirius? Absolutely not.

"No."

Sirius exhaled, smoke from the cigarette dispersing in the air. "Tell who what?" Sirius asked, making both your heads snap towards him. James slid through the doorway and between you and Remus, watching you from the other side of the door now. You angrily strolled into the dorm and Remus's eyes lit up, watching as you snatched the cigarette from between Sirius's lips, telling him "I thought you said you were gonna quit smoking." Putting the cigarette between your lips, you inhaled deeply as Sirius scoffed, muttering "Fucking hypocrite." Remus grinned, reaching over to shut the door before turning to James. "Progress." The confused boy grimaced, letting out a clueless 'huh?'

On the other side of the door, you stood looming over Sirius as you smoked silently, eyes shutting in satisfaction. "Give that back! Aren't you supposed to be talking about the mind blowing sex you had?" Sirius growled, taking the cigarette from you, watching as you sat down next to him, exhaling the smoke into his face with an annoyed smirk. Fuck. Sirius gulped, inhaling the smoke in the air. God knows he would have yelled at anyone else who did that, but with you? It was sexy. "What's so annoying about the sex I have? God knows I've had to listen to you talk about countless women." Sirius swallowed, cheeks heating up. You had a point. "You just annoyed that the sex I have isn't with you?"

Sirius froze, the cigarette burning between his fingers. You smiled condescendingly, taking the cigarette from him and bringing it back to your mouth. You inhaled, leaning back on the pillows behind you, your head hitting the cool glass of the window. The cigarette rested between your fingers, hand draped over the couch as you blew the smoke into the air, staring up at the ceiling. You felt your heart aggressively beating against your chest, swallowing a lump in your throat as you attempted to keep your nonchalant attitude. Sirius’s face popped in your ray of vision. Glancing at him, you realised how much closer he was to you now, hand propped right next to your shoulder to hold himself up, leaning over your torso. “What?” Your wall of confidence wavered, and you took in a shaky breath, eyes softening in fear of his judgement. “Remus told me everything.” You blurted out, a fake confidence in your voice that Sirius didn’t buy for a single second.

“Sit up.” Sirius spoke, shuffling away from you to make space for you to sit properly. “What?” You mumbled, pushing yourself up on your elbows. “Sit up so we can have a proper conversation.” Following Sirius’s orders, you sat up, leaning over to put the cigarette out on the ashtray in front of you before resting your hands on your thighs. Sirius stayed silent in front of you, a solemn look on his face. He only stared at you, as though trying to decipher the look on your face. You felt sick. “Sirius I swear to god if you reject me I’m going to throw up out of that window.” Sirius grimaced at your words, scrunching his nose up before snapping his head towards you.

“Wait, me reject you?” Sirius breathed out. You nodded wordlessly, watching as Sirius’s face morphed into twenty different emotions before starting to speak again. “Remus told you I like you.” You hummed. “So why on earth would I reject you?” Shrugging your shoulders, you opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it. “I thought you were here to reject me.” Your back straightened at Sirius’s words automatically. “Remus wasn’t lying?” It was Sirius’s turn to shake his head, and he hesitantly moved closer to you on the couch.

“What about Evan?” Sirius asked, and you felt his cold breath on your face. You reached a hand over to push Sirius’s black locks behind his shoulder, cupping his jaw and stroking his cheek with your thumb. “Sirius, he was never a real option.” A relieved grin made its way onto Sirius’s face, shifting his weight to lean closer to you, cupping your cheeks to bring your face closer to his, and pulling you into a desperate kiss. You gasp the seconds your lips touch, both hands closing in on the fabric of Sirius’s shirt. You let Sirius manhandle you onto your back, his torso hovering over yours as he needily deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into your open mouth. You whined as one of your hand slipped under Sirius’s untucked shirt, feeling his muscles clench at your soft touch. Sirius barely pulled away from you, biting softly at your bottom lip before kissing you properly again, bringing his body closer to yours so you could feel his chest touching yours, hair falling over his shoulders to tickle your cheeks.

Just as Sirius brought his hips down, dragging them across yours, the door to the dorm slammed open, and Sirius jerked away from you, straightening up so he straddled one of your thighs. Your head snapped towards the door and the two silent teenagers who stood there. James gestured with his hand awkwardly, and you felt your face heat up as he said “We were sitting outside and we just- we uh-” “-We thought we should check on you. Just… in case.” Remus finished for him, eyes glued to Sirius, now pulling on his shirt to make himself look a little more presentable. When Remus and James still don’t move, you pushed yourself up on your arms to help yourself sit up, and your thigh pushed upwards, grazing Sirius just between the legs. The boy gasped loudly, hands immediately flying to his crotch, and he jumped off you, instantly walking towards the doorway, where Remus and James stood. “Well, you checked up on us for sure!” Sirius exclaimed, pushing the door closed and forcing them out into the hallway.

When Sirius swung around to face you again, you were already stood behind him, and your hands immediately got to unbuckling his trousers. You dropped to your knees and Sirius felt himself get harder at the sight of you looking up at him with a glint in your eyes. His hand reached back, blindly searching for the doorknob until he heard the ‘click’ of the lock. Outside, Remus and James stood still in confusion and near awkwardness. They didn't say a single word until they heard a loud moan on the other side of the door, and immediately scrambled away, tripping over their feet to reach the common room.

[thybirbman]

Bird, I just need you to know, I think about these dudes daily. I think about them and their little cliche every single day and I think about modern Konoha would react to them and how they would react to modern Konoha and I think about them so much, it's probably not healthy. I don't have the words to explain how much I think about them, but it's so so much.

Specifically I think about how you drew Haruka, I can imagine her voice in my head so fucking clearly from just those two first shots of her. Deep and smooth, still womanly just way deeper than average, she kinda sounds like she's constantly on the verge of yawning, but she's actually only one step away from the most terrifying growl.

But also I love how you drew the twins and Ichigo holding up Sakumo like he's simba, which he basically is. It's just such a kid thing to do. You find out you're about to have a little cousin, and you're old enough that you know kids are a rarity in your family, so you're just like, "YOOOO! CHILD!!!!" Even if you don't 100% get it, you get it's a big deal and the only way you know how to deal with that is hold the kid high and tell everyone about how YOOOOO THERE IS A FREAKING CHILD YOOOOOO!!! And I love how mischievous the twins look. I wanted to make all the noises when Haru said, "Oh boy, exciting stuff," about Orochinatsu looking at ants while leaning on them with one arm. It's just so- I can tell they're interested but also they don't get it, they're faking getting it because it is interesting and they do wanna know more and they do care, but they don't GET IT get it. It's an older siblings trying to get it bc well, they got nothing better to do, but also they care, so they wanna hang out with you, and they wanna GET IT get it. Well, they do have better things to do, they have PLANS, but they care about Natsu and want them to know that they're not saying watching ants is stupid, (they think it's a lil stupid in that it's boring but they're not gonna say that bc they care and it's not them watching ants so they're not gonna ruin it for them for no good reason) Natsu is clearly enjoying themselves, just they have this idea and if you have the time maybe you wanna join-

Also, Tesuo's panel. I love his expression when inner him is going; "I'm finally free!!!~" in contrast to his outwardly uncaring facade. Just love his design in general. I love all your Hatake designs, I am so mentally ill about them, I love the Hatake, I'm obsessed with them, and I love your interpretation of them.

I love the Nara twins' designs and Hiname's design too- absolutely love the Hatake twins having decided to be here minions for the fuck of it. God, that is so in character and such a teenage thing to do. "Hey, let's just be this lil kid's slaves for the fun of it. I got nothing better to do, and I think she's funny, I wanna reinforce her bad habits. Also, I just wanna see what happens." 100% said by at least 59 teenagers every day. And Shiruka just being so done with the twins' shit, but also not leaving bc those are her besties (she never said this, and if you ever say she did, she is... not stabbing you, too much effort. She's putting in a bad word of you to her friends tho and they have all the energy in the world to socially destroy you). If they lived in the real world, they 100% met in college and became lifelong friends. Shiruka crashed on their couch for a while while between jobs, and Shiruka picked them up from bars more than once bc they were both too drunk to drive.

Also, I'd go on depth of my love of Orochinatsu and Hiname, but oof ouch my fingies are cramping, so just know I love them both just as much. Tho the twins + Shiruka are definitely my favorite, but I love all of them so much!

And I just- aaaaahhhhh! Too many feels, too few words. I love them all so much. I love the rivalry they got going on with other clan kids. I daydream about them going about their day and the Naruto cast doing a "watch the series/read the book they're from" trope type thing except they're watching their ancestors and also love them bc I cannot contain so much love in one person and I have to imagine hoards of people loving them as much as I do to function.

Silly, early Konoha lore and oc things drawn while thinking about this post

!!! early konoha my beloved !!! I have so many thoughts ab it, I want to write a fic that's just silly early Konoha things viewed from the perspective of the less important clan members and their everyday lives. I'm aware the audience for that is incredibly small but I have too much fun just thinking ab it to really care!

Ichigo remains the only naruto oc Ive ever actually written for (in one step three steps), tho Haruka has been mentioned in multiple fics of mine now just bc she fills the role of Tobirama + Hashirama's blood aunt that I needed to be filled in my "Kakashi interacts with Tobirama w the knowledge that they are directly related" fics, of which there are now multiple

but yeah, take some silly art and lore comics !! I had fun while making these and will now probably put all these ocs on a shelf where I will not touch them for some more months

[realmsturkishdelight]

summertime sadness.

pairings ; jj maybank x female reader

warnings ; angst , cursing , i don't know exact dates of his death so i made it up , mentions of using weed , dying.

[ 07/06/20 ]

"can you not press the camera to my face, please?" jj mumbled, a lazy smile on his face even though he was trying to be serious. you only chuckled, capturing his sweet, relaxed and handsome features in your retro camera.

"you're makin' me regret that i got you that, sweetheart." he added, but you only pushed his blonde hair away, smiling. "get up sleepyhead." you murmured.

"no." he turned his head away from the camera. you shaked your head at his antics, sitting on his back and recording his face from the other side. "jesus," he chuckled.

you laughed softly, laying on his back and turning the camera so that it can film both of you, your cheek pressed to jj's head. he looked like he was smashed under you, altough your weight bringed nothing but comfort to him.

"you're gonna be a pain in my ass with that thing, i get it." he joked.

[ 15/07/21 ]

"you guys see that stupid blonde over there? yeah, that's my man." you mumbled to camera with a grin, filming jj doing stupid stuff on his surfboard, laughing and being the annoying yet fun self he is.

your boyfriend had this effect where all of the pogues acted like they were annoyed by his antics, but couldn't live without him anyways. especially you, you were his favorite person, he annoyed you more than anyone, yet you wouldn't be able to live if he didn't do it one day.

"y/n!" he yelled, making the whole beach hear. you didn't mind, dating jj meant you slowly lose the feeling of being shy. you zoomed camera, watching his smiling face more close now, waving at you.

you waved back behind the camera. "this is for you!" he yelled, doing a backflip on the surfboard, getting in the water.

"yeah, that's mine." you whispered, giggling.

[ 01/08/21 ]

"not that again," he groaned softly, smiling as you pulled out the camera to record the sweet moment you both had.

it was a lazy august morning, where jj crashed over at your place because he couldn't stay away from you too long, and you both woke up together. he was all cuddled up on you, the fan in your room creating a small breeze so that you guys could at least get some air in the boring warmth.

"you got this cam for me to film us, j." you giggled, playing with his hair as you recorded both of you from up, showing your smile and his body layed on you.

"yeah but i didn't thought you'd do this often." he chuckled, looking at the camera and squinting his face in mock disgust. you pinched his cheek, smiling.

"well, you often make me wanna remember our moments forever." you murmured, and he melted.

[ 13/08/21 ]

"we're high as fuck," jj chuckled when you opened your camera to record you guys getting wasted in twinkie, just the two of you, in the quiet night.

"i can't even open my eyes properly," you laughed and he joined you, resting his head on your shoulder. "you managed to open the record, that's good." he said.

"hi guys," you murmured with a slight groggy voice like you just woke up, showing the joint in your hands that jj rolled skillfully. "another day, another weed, but this time it's kiara's stuff."

"she makes the best weed, i swear." jj mumbled, taking the joint from you after you got a drag, taking one himself. you giggled when he blowed to camera.

"you guys should get high with us." he joked.

"what if we show this to our kids?" you murmured, and it was just a thought you had with your high mind. yet, it warmed jj's heart.

"y'think our kids will be saints? all sober n' shit?" he said softly with a cheeky grin. "nah baby, that's not my gene."

[ 05/06/22 ]

it was a bonfire night at the chateau, everyone drinking, smoking and having fun. the star of the night was of course, your boyfriend jj.

you opened the camera and began recording him singing songs, with his whole heart, pointing you at the romantic lyrics.

"who even showed you taylor swift?" sarah laughed next to you, drinking her beer under john b's arm.

"you ask?" you giggled, and it made everyone laugh.

"what? i'll be a swiftie for my girl," jj grinned, blowing you, and the camera, a kiss.

[ 15/08/24 ]

"hello folks, this is jj recording to my amazing girlfriend's camera." jj grinned and waved, recording himself from a low angle, yet he still looked pretty.

he was in your room, in your bed while you worked in the shop today, probably helping kiara organize things. his elbows were on his knees, his signature hat on his head.

"there's been a lotta shit goin' on, so she couldn't record for a while." he explained. "we stayed in an island, john b and sarah lost their dads, i found out that my father wasn't my blood father, and i had kook origins." he raised his brows and laughed at the irony of it.

"and now, m'gonna search some gold with my biological dad, which is ironic, i guess." he grinned.

"but, i jus' wanted to record this for my lovely kids in the future, and for my sweet girl to watch if somethin' happens to me." he smiled, yet it was a weak one.

"baby," he murmured. "you live a life you don't deserve in sake of me, and m'sorry that lovin' me has brought you many problems, and we couldn't be a normal teenage couple." he scratched the bridge of his nose.

"n'that we fought with guys who had guns instead of goin' surfing and punching kooks." he chuckled. "but.. i wouldn't wanna do this with other people y'know? you're my favorite person in the world, and m'selfishly happy that we've been through a lot at least together."

"wow m'bein' too sentimental, and it would be really awkward for you to watch this if some dramatic shit didn't happened to me," he chuckled, clearing his throat.

he looked at the camera like he was looking at you, all puppy eyed, his baby blue's shining and his smile so wide and geniune. "m'about to head off to help groff, and i don't have much time to talk more about my undying feelings for you, but jus' know that you're the best thing happened to me. and even if we can't become a kook, i'll happily die as a pogue as long as i got you."

he kissed the camera, grinning. "love from papa j." he winked, closing the record.

[ 18.34 ]

your tears dropped to the screen, and your fingertips caressed his smiling face. you guys made it alive from morocco, expect the guy you loved more than anything.

it was like they took a part from you, his own fathers betrayal turning your life in a living hell in minutes. jj was the dead one, yet you didn't felt like you were living. in the end, which one was the hard one anyway? leaving, or staying?

you opened the camera for one last time, your puffy and red lips, red eyes from crying reflecting in the screen, showing how much of a mess you were.

it was the last time you'd use this, because you lost the one person that made you feel alive, and so happy that you wanted all of your memories to stay forever.

[ 20/08/24 ]

you sniffled, and your tears falled to screen, your voice being a weak whisper. "i love you jj."

༝༚༝༚

[deliciousnecks]

I never shipped Nandermo, but this thing with the Guide???

Like why are the writers doing this?

You don't want to make Nandermo canon, ok fine.

But this doesn't make sense for the guide..

Idk, the show has always been a chaotic,fun show.

This season, I'm just watching to see how it ends. I'm beginning to think of last season as the actual finale

Trust the process.

Honestly, I'm not even worried about this. This whole Nandor & The Guide is not coming out of nowhere. I'm like 90% sure there's something cooking in the background, and it's not as obvious as Nandor and The Guide ending up together. Listen, I'm sure simms and all the writers are cackling as they watch people lose their heads over this.

i believe the writers are not that stupid as to throw all these years of a good show down the drain. plus, nothing is adding up. i'm sure that if they were serious about this, if they wanted to sell this to people, they would have added the guide to more episodes and for more time. but so far we have seen her for less than 2 minutes. they are honestly doing 0 shit to sell this "ship" just nandor being as hee always has been "in love" and rushing into things. also, can we take into consideration the guide? even if nandor was so in love with her, she's not? she said this herself.

there's something going on with nandor, and it happened on that hypnosis episode, and if not, something tells me that this "love" his feeling is gonna be something that moves the plot of this season, because this show has always been like that. they hide the little things things that are important for the plot among all the chaos that is happening and brush them aside like they are nothing, only for these bits to come up later in other episodes and be like SURPRISE!

as i said. the story is hiding something and is not as simple nor as obvious as Nandor and The Guide ending in happily ever after. As i said, the writers are not that stupid (or so i choose to believe). Rushing this relationship, magically make it appear out of nowhere, not only yes, would be a big "fuck you" to all those years they had the majority of their audience invested in the "will they or will they not" between nandor and guillermo (even if they were to become canon or not), but it will also make everyone hate this season so much because it would just feel so "?????", that i'm sure that's not what they want. especially this season focusing on nandor realizing how important guillermo is actually to him, but let's move on from that now.

can i be wrong? yes. can the writers also be this stupid? yes. but come on, we know that the writers even ship guillermo and nandor, i mean, the guys have been trying to get a kiss in there for who knows how long. so, honestly? i'm just not even gonna think too hard about this. i'm just gonna enjoy the show and see how things develop... and then maybe get annoyed after. not gonna lose my head over this right now.

[leresq]

Finally watched Deadpool and Wolverine. First of all I was not coming into this with high hopes because even though everyone was talking about how good this movie is I've never found the Deadpool movies funny. To me they're just different variations of "You haven't seen this in an Iron Man movie" stretched into two now three feature length films. But honestly I liked it at the end.

- Why are Logan's ears and one of his eyes not decayed when no other part of his body is intact? Why does he have a beard on his jawbone?

- I'll bite, the Bye Bye Bye is a fun idea. The wintery forest setting is cool.

- I can't enjoy that opening fight scene because it's not how anything works. You don't get bludgeoned with a dull object, have your body armour completely give way, and have a pint of blood splash out. I understand the whole point of Deadpool is that it's over the top, but this is just so overly gratuitous it's insane. I feel like Marvel Studios felt like they had to make it so unrealistically violent to try and separate it from the mainline MCU to get the people who have Deadpool funko pops to guffaw in the theatre. It's "You haven't seen this in an Iron Man movie" with zero words spoken. Honestly incredible.

- The CGI is better than it's been recently but it's still noticeably bad

- Peter Parker's Iron Man mask is on the desk in the background! How did that even get there.

- Why is Tony's ARC reactor on the table, I thought that was pushed into the river at the funeral

- The timeline is just so incredibly fucked. I still don't understand how the X Men timeline reboot works, or how Logan fits into it; if Logan dying means Deadpool's universe collapses, that implies the Logan movie is in the X Men reboot franchise, but Patrick Stewart is in that and James McAvoy plays him in the reboot making me think it's a one off... Augh my head...

- Something looks up with John Favraeu. I don't know if his wearing a wig is supposed to be obvious, I don't know if he's just under a lot of makeup or it's CGI, it's just weird.

- Deadpool is never going to be an Avenger because Marvel Studios would rather execute everyone working for them than give up the licencing deals from making PG13 movies, and Deadpool wouldn't feel the same in a PG13 movie.

- I think any brand would let Ryan Reynolds walk all over them in muddy boots, for some reason he gets the pass to slander anyone he wants to and he gets paid by the companies to do it.

- 'I don't have a lot of v*ginal sex' 🤨 that has numerous connotations. Also can we not do sex jokes in front of 12 year olds

- I was not expecting a Deadpool movie to contain any hints of character development because the previous two instalments seemed to be hellbent on making sure I understood nothing of emotional value would ever be allowed to appear without being undercut by a sex joke.

- "I've never been a natural bottom" 🤨🤨 I thought Poolverine was just the average two male leads naturally gets shipped together thing but no they're sowing the fields

- If that Thor crying over Deadpool never comes back I will say something about it

- If they didn't want me to know Paradox was going to be a villain why would they make him British

- The 'Suck it Fox' cut to nothing being there is the only time I will accept something raising more questions than answering them at this level as funny

- "Your tailor is a predator" caught me so off guard I started coughing

- Wow I wasn't expecting them to pull the Paradox is actually evil card not even a third into the movie. Honestly a good subversion of expectations.

- How is Deadpool's universe going to evaporate in 74 hours, I thought time doesn't exist at the TVA?

- Are they going to explain why Deadpool's suit can just fix itself now. It used to keep its holes.

- Finally, I think the first time we ever hear Deadpool is from Canada in the movies! I wonder if Ryan Reynolds only wanted to play him in the first place because they're both Canadian...

- "You two gonna fuck or fight?" 🤨🤨🤨

- I actually understood the Honey Badger reference

- the FF floating platform thingy is another reference I'm surprised I got

- The Human Torch CGI is actually really cool

- "Not all of you was asleep" after waking up on his shoulder 🤨🤨🤨🤨

- Too many cameos in Cassandra's little alcove so I'm not even going to bother looking for them all

- I'm not sure if Johnny Storm's death was supposed to be played for laughs or just shock value, either way I'm not laughing I loved those movies ;(

- How does Cassandra know she's Xavier's sister if she was sent to the Void before she could walk?

- Wolvie being nice to Johnny post mortem is cool

- Nicepool having a stronger Canadian accent is a good joke, and Deadpool looking on in disgust as Nicepool talks about his dog's 'G-spot' is good. At least that's not played off as just a normal thing to say even if it is a joke

- "I identify as a feminist" could easily be misconstrued as an 'anti-woke' joke but all of the jokes of a similar calibre in this movie seem to be made ironically. Example: Nicepool is a creep

- "Where's your mask" and Nicepool points to his face actually implying his nice guy attitude is a facade for being a shitty person is actually really good

- Why is Nicepool's car surrounded by untrampled corn, how did it get there? Who grew the corn?

- Deadpool includes Colossus in his world 🥺

- Wolverine is nothing if not an excellent shit talker, and it's actually very out of character for Deadpool to actually get affected by insults

- I wish The Greatest Showman soundtrack was incorporated for more than just a third of a second

- 'Close up magic' ant man reference?

- 'There's only ever gonna be one Blade' about that...

- I think that's Apocalypse's throne in Cassandra's room? Or Thanos's

- I never thought about how both Cassandra and Xavier's powers radiate from their heads until the Juggernaut helmet scene

- Finally some real actual genuine character development that's not thrown away for a joke!!! The best part of the movie to me was Cassandra's redemptio-. Oh. Nevermind. Anyway I like it better than if it were just shoved away for a joke then she died

- Deadpool waiting for the 'extras' to clear was, to me, a good indication that he's a hero now. Caring about civilians is #1 on my makes you a good guy requirements

- "You smell something?" "Yeah you" 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

- And there it is. Nicepool's death is probably the most predictable death I've ever seen on film.

- Eastside Pharmacy?! Agatha All Along reference???

- Wolverine's helmet looks like a rubber playground ball

- Will Marvel Jesus come back in three days however?

- Staring at Hugh's abs? Same, but 🤨🤨🤨����🤨🤨

- That hand holding ending was actually impressive, I wasn't sure what was going to happen and it actually kicked ass

- Is the guy with the mug who stared at Deadpool in the beginning Marvel's first gay character

- The introducing Logan to Blind Al is so unbelievably 'the parents meeting the boyfriend' I could die there's no fucking way that wasn't on purpose

[cloudyskydreams]

Hello I've loved all your writing and hope to see more if its okay to ask how would the skeletons react if the reader came home badly hurt from someone sorry if this make you uncomfortable keep up with the amazing rewiring love to see more

Hello! Let me just say I adored your cosplay of Black it looks so good!!

Secondly, there's not alot that'll make me uncomfortable! Just letting everyone know that for future reference if you got some weird or gross or angsty ideas I have no prob writing them ::3!

Anyways these were actually really fun to write and kept me busy at work when it was slow. Thanks so much for requesting!! Hope you guys enjoy ::>

Undertale:

Sans:

His sockets widen and his eyelights shrinks upon seeing you. He teleports over quickly and gets you to the couch as he asks what happened. He listens to your explanation as he makes you a 'dog for the healing properties and gets to work bandaging you up. He's pretty calm throughout it but he's not really cracking jokes and you can see the sweat dripping down his skull. Once you're considerably better than before he lets out a sigh of relief and cuddles close to you content to keep you company for now. Now Sans isn't a violent guy really he's more of a bard. Talk his way out of the situation. Later though, later he's going to find that douchebag and show them a bad time

Papyrus:

Papyrus smiles upon hearing the door open and spins around in the kitchen to greet you happily. His face contorts to one of horror upon seeing your state and the plate in his hand drops smashing across the kitchen floor. He's over by your side in a quick few strides and gently carries you to the bathroom where he sets you down on the couch. He gets you some of his monster candy stash and bandages you up asking about what happened, he sits next to you and gently asks if you'd like to call the police stating he'll be by your side the whole time. If you say no he might just go by himself when he gets the chance and report what he knows.

Underfell:

Red:

Upon first seeing you bruised and battered Red's mind goes blank. He stares at you for a solid minute with empty sockets before he starts yelling as he grabs you by the wrist , surprisingly gently, and leads you to the bathroom. He bandages you up and disinfects any wounds as well as giving you a monster candy before he demands to know who the fuck hurt you. He stays by your side till you fall asleep very clearly pissed off still everytime he looks at your state but trying to be soft for you. Then when you're sleeping he leaves the house to hunt that fucker down and send them to the hospital with all their teeth knocked out and a few broken bones.

Edge:

He sees you and his fists clench by his side as he takes in your battered form. He walks over and gently searches you for any serious wounds assessing how badly you're hurt before leading you to the bathroom to patch you up. He stays calm and level headed but eeriely silent for the most part until he's done bandaging you. Then he inquires about what happened, where, and with who. Once he has all the details he kisses you softly and mutters how he's so glad you're okay before leaving you wrapped up in blankets on the couch with a comfort show and some monster snacks to help you heal. He's gonna rough the guy up then drag him to the police station and force him to confess.

Underswap:

Blue:

Blue's bright smile quickly falls and the quick steps he was taking to you falter as he sees you standing in the doorway. He rushes over a deadly serious look on his face as he looks you over. He gently leads you inside and phones the police as he's getting medical supplies and some monster food. He patches you up the best he can while telling the operator what he knows from what you tell him. The police arrive and interrogate you and Blue stays by your side holding your hand the entire time and comforting you.

Stretch:

He's sitting on the couch when you come in and he calls out over the back of it. When you don't reply he looks over and sees your state sending him into a state of shock. He quickly teleports over and lets you lean against him as he walks you to the couch. He's panicking inside he doesn't really know what to do as the sight of the state your in knocked all common sense out of him. So he calls his brother as he gets medical supplies and monster food. His brother shows up and after seeing the sight of you calls the police which makes Stretch freak out a little more. So he's by you're side clinging to you and trying to reassure you to the best of his ability while you and Blue deal with the Police.

HorrorTale:

Axe:

His eyelight shrinks to the smallest it's been and his hand immediately starts tugging on his empty sockets as he stares at you. It takes him a little bit to process the situation and by that time you're already inside. He's over by your side quickly shoving monster snacks in your hands as he looks over the wounds. He doesn't remember where the bandages are so you have to tell him where and he gets them. Very gently wraps you up acts as if you're porcelain. He sits you in his lap afterwards and cuddles up close starting to purr softly hoping it will help calm you. He asks what happened and listens with intense silence. He writes it down so he doesn't forget but leaves the person as a problem for another day he's more focused on you right now.They may think they got away with it but he won't forget about them not after what they did to you.

Willow:

He sees you and gasps already by your side and scooping you up as gently as he can. He sets you on the couch softly and looks over your wounds. Gets you some leftovers from the dinner made last night for the monster food healing properties and bandages what needs it. He runs his fingers through your hair as he considers his options. He doesn't mention anything to you though as he gently takes care of you babying you throughout the night but makes sure to get as much information as he can out of you. Once you're asleep he writes down everything you said and finds Axe who hadn't seen you yet and mentions the situation before handing over the paper. He's got a small brotherly favor to cash in tonight.

[nevertoomanyspiders]

it's a Wheeler!

for literally no goddamn reason, have an assortment of Wheelers from various adaptations and depictions ...that aren't John R. Neill's art or Return to Oz stuff, everyone already knows those, haha.

...well ok except this one from the endpaper of Ozma of Oz because it's new to me, at least, and the gutenberg.org copy doesn't have it.

what a dang dork, bless. glad he and Tik-Tok set aside their differences to watch the race.

Illustration

from 1976 Polish edition of Ozma of Oz with art by Zbigniew Rychlicki, via Reddit:

these lads are so stylish and their oversized heads are pretty freaky, dang.

a very 17th century Wheeler from 1970 Japanese edition of Ozma of Oz, art by Sonoko Arai, via Hungry Tiger Talk:

a dang goofy Wheeler by Vlada Stolikovich, 1976. also via Hungry Tiger Talk:

anyway, fuck, um, everything else is under a cut because this post ended up a bit too long oops.

something I have a hard time finding information on beyond that what I assume to be a Korean translation (?) of an Indonesian edition (???) of Ozma of Oz with 3D CGI illustrations. would be fun to see if there's more images within. not a damn clue who made these illustrations, either.

gosh those Wheelers. dunno what the artist was going for but there's a bit of a renaissance vibe. what if this was an animated thing? on that note...

Animated adaptations

the 1987 direct-to-video short Dorothy Meets Ozma of Oz has uh. these fuckers. seemingly there's only two. probably because of low animation budget, lol.

well, I say there's two, but it's just one design with a palette swap one has blonde hair and pink coat, the other has black hair and orange coat or something. also it's not evident from the screenshots but these dorks have long, pretty eyelashes and GAWD the voice acting is. well. hear for yourselves.

one of my favourite moments is Ozma turning up, saying "Enough." and bonking a Wheeler on the head with her scepter. here's the time stamp.

oh yeah I'm sure a bunch of folks have seen the Wheelers as seen in Oz Kids courtesy of this post. they appear in the episode Who Stole Santa. (and no it wasn't the Wheelers, obviously, they're just here to be annoying and trying to prevent the characters from taking a specific path.)

the guy in purple, who I'm calling Squeky Wheel, looks a lot like the Wheeler in this Ozma of Oz chapter art by John R. Neill. poor guy got walloped pretty hard.

anyway only Squeaky talks while his two buddies remain silent. these guys are such pushovers and the kids aren't scared of them at all.

Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz (2017-2020) has these little bobble-headed goobers.

can't say I'm crazy about how they look but their characterization as reckless speedsters is a fun one. in one episode they even make friends with Tin Man after he replaces a busted wheel.

Ozu no Mahotsukai (オズの魔法使い, 1986-1987) has a... very strange interpretation of the Wheelers, but then, the series does play fast and loose with the source material as it is, which I don't mind! an adaptation doing something fun with the source material adds an element of unpredictability which I like... so, I'm not terribly surprised by how much they deviate from the book descriptions.

they wouldn't look too out of place in the B.C. comic strip.

and this segues perfectly to...

Comics

the Marvel comic adaptation of Ozma of Oz by Eric Shanower (writer) and Skottie Young (artist) probably has some of my fav depictions of the Wheelers, and I really like this variant cover (I believe it's by Eric Shanower?)

these guys are utterly freaky but also dang silly. watching these fucked up abominations bumble around defuses the terror.

there he go

so, there's the ones I've seen so far. if there's more that you know of, SEND THEM TO ME I NEED THEM SO BAD HELP

[fix-it-darlin]

rhav (fullmetal alchemist oc, doctor and former state alchemist)

david- they probably appreciate his pragmatism and prioritization of others, finds gruff demeanor appealing but not much thought given beyond that, if the two of them got closer, they'd probably bond about trying to keep the people they care about from getting hurt, but those people not listening to them and then getting hurt

huxley- immediate short circuit of the brain and then lots of questions about how his 'earth based alchemy' works, they're a bit thrown off by his carefree attitude, but genuinely enjoy their interaction with him

vega- wtf even is this guy?, feelings are definitely mixed and their fight or flight is going off but they also get the sense that people will get hurt if they don't do something about him so definitely a fair amount of hostility that's feeding him

porter- thrown off by his charm initially and then realizes that he's got very little sense of self preservation and views himself as a weapon, gets real rattled about that and has to fight the urge to try and check him over for wounds

geordi- so glad to finally meet a normal person in this universe, they think he's a bit paranoid but they get it

blake- honestly just really disappointed in this guy, like c'mon, you've got the ability to see the future and help others and you've centered your whole being around one person when you've got the potential to be so much better than this, but ~no~ you have to go and be a massive racist asshole who's willing to hurt everyone to get what he wants, they don't even hate him, it's just more of a 'come on man, you're better than this. where is the board of ethics on this?'

hush- you know what, after everything else they've seen at this point, they're just glad that the god child isn't trying to kill them

rowan wagner (space cowboy)

david- he finds him pretty cute, thinks he'd be a fun guy to take out for a drink and get him relaxed but nothing too serious, discussion over drinks would likely be about taking on some kind of job, rowan's a flirt, but he knows when someone's out of his league

huxley- the accent? is something else, but once he gets past it, probably vibes with this guy quite a bit and talks shop on the quality of the earth in the area and what kind of wildlife hangs around the area

vega- well, doesn't look strange enough to be an alien, but is too strange looking to be a human, if vega tries to rile him up, his first reaction is going to be to flirt relentlessly while vaguely alluding to his gun but no one's sure if that's a euphemism or threat

porter- there's an accent he's familiar with, two flirts can play this game, definitely gets rich guy vibes from him and hasn't decided whether he wants to schmooze or antagonize him, the vampire part is the clearest cut part about this fellow and rowan's not even phased by it

geordi- rowan actually knows that star trek exists and is a pretty big fan of it (his space colony had recordings of all the episodes and some of reading rainbow available when he was growing up) so he catches the reference almost immediately and is delighted, he chats him up and teases him a little but is also just on the cusp of nerding out and has to hold himself back from instigating a star trek infodump, he's just got this big stupid grin on his face the whole time he's talking to him and has used some of his cheesiest pick up lines on him just to see if he can get a laugh

blake- this isn't his first rodeo with folks who've gone and gotten themselves possessed by some eldritch horror, he's this close to trying to shake this man by the shoulders and ask him why the fuck he's gone and doomed the universe, rowan is frustrated, annoyed, and just generally enraged by him, but he's handling it significantly better than he did the first eldritch possession he came across

hush- strange little fella, honestly not sure what to do with him, but he's happy to answer any questions, he's not spooked by him because he looks like a slightly less strange version of the aliens he deals with regularly, and he can relate to the whole not understanding people

joey (morally grey lie detecting detective)

david- they appreciate his honesty but also see way too much of their old boss in him and being prone to butting heads with authority, they're not a fan and just try to avoid him because they know that if they don't they are going to start a fight

huxley- they're intimidated at first because they're relatively short and huxley's kind of a big guy, a bit weirded out by the hole digging thing, but they have seen weirder in their line of work, wants to ask more questions but they're reminding themself that it's best not to go asking about things that might be more personal if they want to stay on people's good side and they really want to stay on his good side because they view him as a decent connection to have because they take notice of how much he seems to notice

vega- they're honestly pretty unphased as a sadistic super powered being is more their speed, yeah, he's a liar but he's a predictable one, they're used to people trying to manipulate them but they're able to see through it and brush it off, glad to find something that's relatively familiar in this new environment and has somewhat positive emotions about him

porter- they can not trust a word out of his mouth and they're so tired of it because they're not able to turn off their powers and it's just a constant ping of 'oh, that ones a lie' when they even try to talk with him, and they're probably holding their tongue about it because they've already come to the conclusion that he could probably kill them if he felt like it and it was beneficial to him, probably tries to return similar energy and probe him for information

geordi- confused as to why he thinks that they're a telepath as in their world, most telepaths are pretty damn invasive and loud about stuff in their experience (this is not normal and actually they have high mental paranoia and so that makes it hard for even the most skilled telepath to make it into their mind unannounced), vaguely annoyed by him but also find him endearing, they won't admit it of course

blake- they're immediately repulsed by him purely on the principle that they're reminded too much of themself by him, he figures out pretty quickly that they're "empowered" in a sense and he's spouting his bullshit and they just hate him so, so much and they want him and his lies gone, legitimately contemplating murder

hush- once the wtf is his deal wears off, it's just kind of like, oh yeah, vaguely murderous superpowered being who could crush them like a bug if they pushed things too far, this is just a typical tuesday, astounded by how not a single thing he says is a lie even though they're sure the stuff about him being a force given form is made up, but you know what, they'll humor him, stepping on eggshells around powerful beings is just their default mode

ok cmere listen

take an oc you have from literally any universe that you have (other than redacted)

tell me what’s happening if they were to run into

- david

- huxley

- vega

- porter

- geordi

- blake

- hush

you can doooo as many of them as you want to

(this is just an excuse to hear about peoples OCs btw)