#have been thinking about childhood a lot since my sister had a baby!

[great-and-small]

I know not everyone grows up near a coast or shoreline but when I was little I feel like it was such a formative activity to walk alongside the ocean and return stranded sea creatures into the water. A kid can learn so much from finding something like a horseshoe crab, this indescribably ancient creation that is so vastly different from them (a curious little primate), and realizing that this bizarre creeping thing upturned in the sand is in need of their help. It’s an incredible exercise in showing immediate compassion to those that need help, even if they are strange or unsettling. Building those empathy and curiosity muscles at the same time. I legitimately think my mom showing four year old me how to carry a horseshoe crab back to the water helped shape who I am as a person.

[dracosprettygirl]

HERE ME OUTTT, theo and draco's little sister who's been sheltered and maybe a little too loved by her family for her whole life. like hello? them being promised to each other since birth, it took a while but theo starts calling her his little fiance around school 😭

ღ my fiancée

Pairing: fiance!theo x malfoy!reader Word Count: 919 WordsSummary: You’ve spent your life being Draco Malfoy’s baby sister — protected, pampered, and promised to Theodore Nott since childhood. It’s never felt real… until Theo starts calling you his fiancée around school, and you realize he’s not joking. Warnings: Light teasing, overprotective!draco, angst, emotional confusion, familial expectations, arranged marriage, not proofread, let me know if i missed anything! A/N: sincere apologies because it took me too long to post today—i fell off a motorcycle lmao.

♫ invisible string by taylor swift.

You'd been called a lot of things at Hogwarts — princess, Malfoy's little sister, too polite to be a Slytherin. None of it ever really bothered you.

Being Draco's younger sister came with its own gravitational pull. People either bowed to the family name or avoided you like you were dipped in dark magic. Either way, you were never given the chance to just be.

Except around Theo.

Theodore Nott had always been there. At family gatherings, at summer dinners, standing silently at Draco's side since you were both children. Where Draco was loud and proud, Theo was quiet, watchful — never cruel, never unkind.

He was just... always watching.

You didn't realize how closely until sixth year.

It started with a rumor.

Someone had whispered in the corridor outside Charms, not even subtle about it.

"Did you hear? Nott calls her his fiancée now."

You'd almost dropped your ink pot.

When you confronted him, red-faced and wide-eyed, he just looked at you with that maddening smirk and said, "What? It's true. Don't look so scandalized, little fiancée."

You choked on your own tongue.

He did it again at breakfast two days later.

You were pouring tea when he slid into the seat beside you and drawled, "Careful, princess. Can't have my future wife scalding herself before our wedding night."

Draco snapped his head around so fast you heard the crack. Theo just sipped his tea.

It became a thing.

Casual, flippant references — "My betrothed," "My darling girl," "Future Mrs. Nott, don't forget your quill" — all with the smoothness only Theo could pull off.

You didn't know how to react.

You'd known about the arrangement. Of course you had. Your parents had teased you both about it since you were ten, usually after dessert and a few too many goblets of wine.

But it had never felt real. Just a fancy future wrapped in pureblood politics and outdated customs.

Until Theo started walking you to class.

Until he brushed your hand with his fingers every time he passed you a scroll, every touch deliberate.

Until you caught him staring across the common room with something dark and fond in his eyes.

It was all too much.

And somehow not nearly enough.

Draco cornered him first.

You found out because Pansy, ever the gossip, whispered about it between pages of Witch Weekly.

"Your brother nearly hexed Theo in the corridor by the Astronomy Tower," she said, chewing her licorice wand. "He said something about knowing exactly what Theo's playing at."

You tried not to let it show, but it did. Theo noticed.

He always noticed.

That evening, you fled to the greenhouse, needing space to think.

You shouldn't have been surprised when he found you there.

You heard the door creak open but didn't turn around. You were seated on the edge of a stone bench, watching the enchanted vines ripple under moonlight.

"I'm not stalking you, if that's what you're thinking," Theo said, voice low and amused. "Draco would kill me."

You didn't look at him. "You shouldn't joke about it."

He walked around to face you anyway, hands in his pockets, dark hair slightly messy from the wind. His tie was loose. His gaze wasn't.

"I don't joke about you."

Your heart did something painful in your chest.

"Then what are you doing?" you asked, finally looking up at him. "All the teasing, the names—are you trying to embarrass me? Humiliate me in front of the entire school?"

He blinked. "Is that what you think?"

You stood, crossing your arms. "I think you've had your fun."

A long silence. Then, softer: "I think I've been in love with you for longer than I know how to say. And I think calling you my fiancée is the only way I know how to protect what I feel without ruining it."

You froze.

Theo took a step closer.

"I don't care about the arrangement. I would've chosen you anyway. Even if we'd met as strangers. Even if you weren't Draco's sister or the girl who always reads at breakfast or the only person who ever asked if I wanted seconds at Sunday dinner."

You swallowed, throat tight.

"I said those things because they were true," he said. "And I thought maybe—just maybe—you'd want them to be true too."

Your voice was barely a whisper. "I didn't think you wanted me."

His expression softened — all the teasing melted away. He reached out, fingers curling around yours.

"I don't just want you," he murmured. "I've been yours. Quietly. Always."

Your fingers tightened in his.

"You called me your fiancée in front of everyone," you said, blushing.

He smiled. "They should know."

"And what if I want to be something more than a name?"

"You already are."

He leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull away.

You didn't.

His lips were warm and gentle against yours, the kind of kiss that felt like a promise.

When he pulled back, your forehead rested against his.

"You really mean it?" you whispered. "This isn't just a game?"

"No games," he said softly. "Just you. And me. And the fact that I plan to make you mine whether the contract says so or not."

The next morning, the Great Hall went quiet when Theo slid onto the bench beside you and dropped a soft kiss to your cheek.

Draco nearly spat his pumpkin juice across the table.

Theo just smirked.

"Morning, fiancée."

You didn't blush this time.

You kissed his cheek right back.

taglist !

@belovedenzo

© dracosprettygirl.tumblr 2025. do not copy, translate or claim any of my works as your own. reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated & motivating!

[somewhereincairparavel]

Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.

after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.

annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.

let's start off with the lost hero

when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.

-----------------------------------------------

this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.

both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.

They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.

they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.

we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.

moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.

jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.

while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.

and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.

annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.

whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.

annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.

they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.

fatal flaws:

annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.

and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.

as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.

she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.

and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote

[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]

which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.

jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].

both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.

annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)

they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.

speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.

this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.

I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!

@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms

[harrysfolklore]

omg i have a question for the bitchy carlos fic -

so nicole piastri came on red flags podcast recently and spoke about oscar and his childhood, what if there’s an au segment of her talking about older piastri & what would his reaction be

okay this turned out being way longer than intended bc i added the scene of carlos and nicole meeting bc why not, i hope i'm not annoying you with too much little bitch content, i'll promise i'll post for other drivers now READ LITTLE BITCH HERE

Host: "So, Nicole, we've heard a lot about Oscar's journey to F1, but what can you tell us about his relationship with his sister, YN? She has quite the personality online, doesn't she? Can you tell us about their relationship growing up?

Nicole:"Oh, those two. They've always had such a special bond. YN is a few years older than Oscar and yes, she's known as the Piastri who fights people online, but she's always been fiercely protective of him. From the moment YN first held Oscar as a baby, she appointed herself his protector. It was adorable and sometimes a bit much, but always came from a place of love.

Host: Can you give us an example?

Nicole: "When Oscar was about six and YN was maybe nine. Oscar had just started school and was having trouble making friends. He was quite shy back then, if you can believe it. One day, YN overheard some kids teasing Oscar in the playground."

Host: "Oh no, what happened?"

Nicole: "Well, YN marched right up to those boys and she told them off in no uncertain terms. She said, and I quote, 'My brother is going to be a famous race car driver one day, and you'll all be asking for his autograph. So you'd better be nice to him now!' The boys were so shocked they just stood there with their mouths open."

Host:"That's amazing! Did it help Oscar?"

Nicole: "It did, actually. Oscar was so impressed by his big sister standing up for him that it gave him a confidence boost. And you know what? Some of those boys ended up becoming his good friends. They still joke about YN's 'prophecy' coming true now that Oscar's in F1."

Host: "That's such a heartwarming story! It's clear YN has always been protective of Oscar. Now, speaking of relationships, we've heard that YN is dating Carlos Sainz. Can you tell us a bit about how that came to be?"

Nicole: "Oh, that's an interesting story! YN actually told us she was dating Carlos a while back, but we weren't surprised at all. We knew she liked him since that time in Singapore last year when our family visited. YN was trying so hard to act mad about Carlos' win, but it was obvious she was impressed."

Host: "So you had suspicions before they even got together?"

Nicole: "Absolutely! Even before that Singapore trip, YN used to go on these multiple rants about, in her words, 'this arrogant Spaniard' who kept pushing Oscar off track. She called him something I won't repeat but I'm pretty sure everyone knows it, it absolutely irritated her. But you know what? We all knew that deep down, she had a crush on him."

Host: "That's quite the turnaround! Have you met Carlos — as YN’s partner this time — yet?"

Nicole: "I haven’t, actually. I’m hoping to do that in Baku after the summer break. But I can see Carlos brings out a softer side of YN that we don't often see in public. Don't get me wrong, she's still fiercely stubborn and outspoken, but with Carlos, there's this gentleness that comes out. He seems to really understand and appreciate her passion, and he's not intimidated by her strong personality at all. In fact, he seems to admire it."

Host: "It sounds like they complement each other well. How has Oscar taken to their relationship?"

Nicole: "Oscar's been very supportive. I think he appreciates seeing his sister happy, and of course, it doesn't hurt that Carlos is someone he respects on the track. It's actually quite funny to see YN now, cheering for both Oscar and Carlos during races. She's always torn between wanting Oscar to win and not wanting Carlos to lose."

Host: "That's nice, Carlos sounds like quite the gentleman. Has YN picked up any Spanish since they started dating?"

Nicole: "Oh, that's actually a funny story. We love to tease YN about this. You see, she failed Spanish in high school - couldn't conjugate a verb to save her life. And now here she is, dating a Spaniard! Carlos has been trying to teach her, but let's just say it's a work in progress. She can now order a beer and ask where the bathroom is, so I suppose that's progress!"

Host: "That's hilarious! I'm sure she'll be fluent in no time."

Nicole: "Bless her, she's really trying. She's determined to have a full conversation with Carlos' parents in Spanish by the end of the year. We'll see how that goes!"

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 498,646 others

ynpiastri our queen is here !! and no one is ready

tagged: nicolepiastri

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username1 NICOLE PIASTRI IS THE MOMENT

username2 SLAY THE HOUSE BOOTS DOWN

mclaren Icon 🧡

lilyzneimer the besttttt 💓

username3 IS SHE MEETING CARLOS ??

username4 oh i can’t wait to see our queen giving carlos a run for his money again

landonorris Coolest ever

↳ ynpiastri her favorite will always be yuki don’t even try it

↳ username1 HEEEELP

yukitsunoda5511 Nicole is brat

↳ username2 I LOVE THEM 😭

oscarpiastri I’m ready, your boyfriend however…

↳ username3 LOOOOORDDD

↳ username1 POOR CARLOS

↳ ynpiastri leave him alone 😤😤

Baku had a special energy during race weekends. The tight streets and high-pressure atmosphere gave you a mixture of excitement and nerves, but today, the butterflies in your stomach had nothing to do with the Grand Prix. Instead, it was about the lunch you were about to have, where Carlos would meet your mom—officially, as your boyfriend this time.

You walked through the paddock with Carlos by your side, his hand wrapped around yours. Oscar was a few steps ahead, casually walking toward the hospitality area where no other than Nicole Piastri waited. She had met Carlos briefly before, like many of the other drivers, but this was different. He wasn’t just a name on the grid anymore—he was the man you were dating, and Carlos seemed to be nervous about the meeting.

"You think she likes me?" Carlos adjusted his hat for what felt like the hundredth time, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

"Carlos, she’s going to love you," you couldn’t help but smile at his nerves, "She already does. But, you know... as a mum, she's entitled to give you a little hard time."

"That’s what I’m worried about," Carlos chuckled, but his smile was still tight, "I just want to make a good impression, you know?"

"You will," you assured him, squeezing his hand. "Just be yourself."

Oscar slowed down, overhearing your conversation and grinning like he already knew how this would play out. "Mum’s gonna grill you, mate," he teased, throwing a glance back at Carlos. "She’s been waiting for this."

"Not helping, Oscar," you muttered, giving your brother a playful shove. He just smirked, clearly enjoying himself.

When you finally reached the hospitality tent, your mom was already seated at a table, smiling warmly as she saw you all approach. She stood up to greet you, wrapping you in a familiar hug before turning to Carlos with that same welcoming smile—though you knew there was a glint of mischief behind it.

“Carlos, it’s so good to see you again,” she greeted, shaking his hand.

"It’s great to see you too, Mrs. Piastri," Carlos said, his polite smile fixed on his face. His Spanish charm was dialed up a notch, but you could still feel the slight tension in his grip as he held your hand.

“Please, call me Nicole,” she said, taking her seat again. “I’m not that formal, especially not with my daughter’s boyfriend.”

As you all settled into your seats, you couldn't help but notice the amused glances Oscar and your mom were exchanging. You knew that look—they were up to something.

"So," Nicole began, her eyes twinkling with mischief, "how long have you two been together again?"

You glanced at Carlos, who seemed to relax a bit as he answered, "About two months officially, right, cariño?"

You nodded, but before you could add anything, your mom raised an eyebrow. "And unofficially?"

"Mum!" you said as you felt your cheeks heat up.

Oscar, who had taken a seat across from you, let out a low chuckle, clearly enjoying the show. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, watching the dynamic unfold.

"That’s what I thought," she teased, making Oscar let out a loud laugh.

You felt your face grow even hotter as your mom's implications hung in the air. Carlos, to his credit, managed to maintain his composure, though you noticed a slight redness creeping up his neck.

"Well," Carlos cleared his throat, his accent a bit thicker than usual, "I think it's safe to say we've known each other for quite some time now."

"Oh, I remember. You two weren't exactly friendly at first, were you?"

"That's putting it mildly, Mum," Oscar snorted, "Remember the time she came home absolutely fuming after a race? She was ranting about 'that little bi—'"

"Oscar!" you cut him off, "We don't need to relive that."

Carlos squeezed your hand under the table, clearly amused. "No, please, I'd love to hear about this."

"Oh mate, you should've heard her," Oscar spoke again, "'Carlos this, Carlos that.' I swear, she talked about you more when she hated you than she does now."

"I did not!" you protested, but your brother's knowing smirk told you he wasn't buying it.

"It's true," your mum added, her eyes dancing with laughter. "I remember thinking, 'This girl protests too much.' I had a feeling even then that all that anger was hiding something else."

You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

Carlos wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "It's okay, hermosa. I love to hear these stories."

You looked up at him, seeing the warmth in his eyes. It was hard to believe that those same eyes had once glared at you across the paddock.

Nicole smiled, watching the two of you with that familiar mom look—part teasing, part proud. "Well, now look at you. I guess all that bickering was just a cover-up for how much you liked each other."

"You’ve gone soft," Oscar rolled his eyes dramatically. "I kinda miss the days when you’d call each other names."

"Don’t worry," you muttered, giving Carlos a playful glare. "He’s still a little bitch sometimes."

Carlos laughed, his arm tightening around you as he kissed the top of your head. "And you’re still my favorite enemy turned girlfriend."

Your mom let out a satisfied sigh, leaning back in her chair. "I knew it all along."

[lostintransist]

This Bunny Bites | Part 1

I will not apologize. I have been bothering my friend with this fic idea for so, so long..

AO3

You clocked the group of men as the entered the club. Clock in the back had shown just after ten PM when you popped back there for a bottle. They settled into seats at an empty table, the four of them giving a wide berth of elbow room between themselves and their neighbor. None of them looked at River who commanded the stage. You didn’t think much of it, lots of men came here to ‘do business’ such as it was.

You delivered the bottle to a private room, letting Strawberry handle the client service. You were functioning as the manager tonight despite being scheduled for a dancers shift. No one else had approached the now occupied table. You strode up, perking up your tits just so.

“Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?” Your voice came out sultry but still within the customer service range.

You look at them from left to right, clean cut guy, dark hair with a well trimmed beard.

“Top shelf whiskey, neat.”

You look to the next man, stubble warm brown skin tone.

“Beer, whatever is on tap.”

Next man wore a ski mask decorated with a human skull. You don’t blink, wasn’t even the worst thing you had seen tonight.

“Black Russian.”

You turn to the last man. It had been a long time since you saw a face that looked like yours. The mohawk hadn’t been there the last time.

“Get the fuck out.”

“What!?” Your half brother Johnny jumped up from his seat. “Why me! I haven’t donne anything!”

You reel back, struck by his words. He didn’t recognize you. Of course, the fucker walked out on you years ago and couldn’t be bothered to remember you now.

“Really,” you dragged the word out, “Johnny McTavish hasn’t done anything to his baby sister?”

His jaw dropped, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he took in your barely covered, well, everything.

“Bunny?” your childhood nickname comes out as a broken whisper. Like he has anything to be broken up over.

“Final warning, get out or get thrown out. Your friends too for arguing.” You shift your chin their direction.

The masked man stands, pulls out his wallet and drops a couple bills on the table before pushing Johnny forward.

“Come on Soap, more places we can drink tonight.” His voice rumbled just loud enough to carry over the music in the space.

The other two stand, more money dropped on the table. Beard gives you a quiet ‘ma’am’ as he passes. Stubble nods when he catches your eye. They all follow Mask out the door. He keeps a hand on Johnny as if to remind him that he can be carried. Bastard was big enough to make it work.

You see Barry the security guard glance between you and the men who just left. You gather up the cash on the table and fold it over in your hand as you walk towards him.

“Barry I just need ten minutes okay? I just had a…“ you search for the right word to express seeing your brother who you haven’t seen in almost fifteen years at a stripper bar. You don’t find a word for it. “Weird interaction and need to clear my head. Can you make rounds on all the girls? Misty and Summer should be finishing up their dances soon.”

“Course, I’ll take care of it. Just let me know if you need anything else dove.” Barry nodded and set about to keep the girls safe.

This club was a bit unusual in the area, they had a firm drink, no touch policy. Anyone wanting to touch a girl, even to fix the strap on her heels had to have a wristband that barred them from alcohol. Not that they had many takers for those but enough recovered alcoholics had started to talk that the club had become a decent spot to hang after a meeting.

You slip into the dressing room, taking a seat on a bench as you count out the cash. You count it again, and again before you believe it. Eight hundred dollars. Three men who you kicked out for coming in with your brother left an eight hundred dollar tip. They didn’t even get their drinks!

“What the fuck just happened?” you whisper to the room.

Part 2

Bunny Masterlist | Masterlist

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Synopsis: Tabito Karasu has been in love with you for almost as long as he can remember. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like you have any intentions of reciprocating, considering you’ve only ever seen him as a child — and, more importantly, as your best friend’s little brother.

BLLK Masterlist | Part One | Otoya Version

Pairing: Karasu x Reader

Total Word Count: 41.6k

Content Warnings: reader is older than karasu (by like two years so it’s nbd but it exists), no blue lock au, bratty baby karasu, jealous karasu, slow burn, childhood friends, i have no idea how to write kids just deal w it, karasu’s older sister is given a name (look at that word count LMAO i’m not calling her ‘karasu’s older sister’ the entire time), reader gets drunk at one point, karasu the goat of pining, yukimiya and otoya mentions ⁉️

A/N: yes this is inspired by the song “best friend’s brother” from victorious but has barely anything to do with it. yes this is probably the longest karasu fic you will ever read as of its publishing date (word count is not a typo it fr is that long). yes reader and karasu are fuck ass little kids for half of the fic. i have nothing to say for myself except that i love karasu so much and i cannot be stopped…also tumblr is an opp so i had to split this into two parts EEK i’m sorry!!

Tokyo was exactly as you remembered it. Both of your parents had been raised there, and so you had visited frequently when you were younger. You had fond memories of staying there with both sets of your grandparents before they had all, in turn, decided to move to calmer parts of the country, places which were not as frenetic and vibrant as the capital. After they had left, your family had had little reason to go back, so it had been some years since you had last made the trip, but in a way this move was just another kind of homecoming, for the chaos of the massive city was as familiar to you as the peace of your neighborhood.

“Everyone here talks like your parents,” Yayoi told you, the first day you both were able to meet up after you had moved. Your classes had not yet begun, but you were both finally unpacked and oriented in your new lives, so you had taken advantage of the last bits of free time you might have for a while to see one another. “It’s kind of funny.”

“Right?” you said. You had never fully adopted the accent of your home region, for you had been raised by a family which still spoke as if they were in Tokyo, but regardless it was strange to hear people other than your parents speaking in that way without affectation.

“Sometimes I end up saying the wrong thing and confusing people, but they figure out pretty quickly that it’s just the dialect I speak with, and then they ask for clarification if needed,” she said. “So I haven’t run into any major miscommunication problems yet, thankfully.”

“That’s good,” you said. “Are you excited to start classes?”

“Well, excited isn't exactly the word I’d use for it,” she said wryly. “Even if I’m the one who chose the subject, it’s still going to be a lot of work.”

“A ton of it,” you said, making a face. “You’re lucky, though. Your term doesn’t start for another week.”

“Well, it also ends a week later, so that doesn’t mean anything,” she said, sipping on the last few drops of her coffee — which she always ordered black, not because she liked it that way but because she was trying to keep up appearances and whatnot. “What about you?”

“I think classes and all will be a good distraction. It’ll be nice to have something to keep myself busy,” you said.

“What do you need to be distracted from?” she said.

“Just homesickness and stuff. The typical things you’d expect,” you said. She hummed sympathetically.

“I get it,” she said. “I miss my parents like crazy sometimes, especially when I need help with random stuff. The other day, I had to video call my mother so she could explain how to clean a cast iron pan.”

“You could’ve looked that up,” you said.

“Yeah, but it was nicer to hear it from her,” she said.

“Yeah,” you echoed, because it was the same for you. You often found yourself calling your parents for no reason at all, asking them stupid questions just to listen to them talk. “I’m glad to be on my own, but I do miss my mother and father a lot.”

“Anyone else?” she said.

“What do you mean?” you said.

“Just wondering,” she said. “You know, come to think of it, you were kind of late coming to your seat. Freaked your parents out beyond belief. Any reason in particular?”

“I was just talking to Tabito,” you said. “Saying bye and all.”

“Are you going to miss him?” she prodded.

“Obviously. At this point, he’s like my brother, too. Isn’t it natural to miss your siblings?” you said.

“I don’t,” she said, though she immediately burst into laughter, which somewhat contradicted the statement.

“You’re horrible,” you said. “I know you do.”

“I do,” she affirmed. “But I think it’s in a different way than you do. It’s odd, because I’m the one who’s actually related to him, but the truth is that you two have always been closer than he and I ever were.”

“Probably because I’m not a jerk like you are,” you said.

“How can you consider yourself his additional older sister when you’re so nice to him? You need to bully him a bit more to earn that distinction,” she said.

“He hears enough of it out of you,” you said.

“Cheers, I’ll drink to that,” she said, holding up her paper cup and raising it to her lips, though you knew it was empty by now. You clinked your own against hers and finished the last remnants of your drink in one gulp. “You know, Y/N, I think you’re irreplaceable at this point.”

“You, too,” you said. “I’ll never be friends with anyone the way I am with you.”

“Fuck whoever we meet in college,” she said, nodding in approval. “I’m sure they’ll be cool and all, but the two of us, we hardly even count as friends anymore. It’s like we’re something more.”

“Exactly,” you said. “I can have a million more best friends, and likely I will, but never again will I have another Yayoi Karasu.”

“And don’t you forget it,” she said.

“I wouldn’t dare,” you said. “Not for a moment.”

Your first year of college flew past in the blink of an eye. On the whole, you preferred it to high school, even though there were aspects of the past you still held dear, seeped with nostalgia as they were. You made new friends, as did Yayoi, but just like you both had predicted, none of them measured up to each other. Still, it was fun to meet people from all different regions in the country and to hear about their lives. Some of your classmates weren’t even from Japan at all, and there was another layer of fascination there, learning about the ways of other nations, the cultures and foods they were accustomed to, and teaching them about your own in exchange.

Your mid term breaks were a bit shorter than Yayoi’s, which meant you weren’t ever able to justify visiting home, but in return, you had much longer in between years, so while Yayoi was still stressing over her finals, you were already taking the train back to the station by your house, texting your parents all the while.

In your absence, your childhood room had remained untouched, the stuffed animals arranged on your bed in the exact order you preferred, the books still stacked on the shelves, your artwork and photos of you with your friends hanging on the walls where you had put them. Time felt frozen, and it was as if you had never left, as if your entire year in Tokyo had been a dream and this had always been the reality.

After eating dinner with your parents, you showered and changed into one of your father’s old shirts and a pair of sweatpants, flopping face-first onto your bed and taking a deep breath, already feeling yourself nodding off despite the fact that it wasn’t that late. Traveling always exhausted you, however, and it was all you could do to turn your lights off and crawl under the covers, plugging your phone in to charge as you drifted off.

Right when you were about to fall asleep for good, your phone’s screen blazed to life, startling you awake as it vibrated urgently. Groaning and cursing whoever was calling you, you glared at the device until you realized exactly who it was, and then your unhappiness was promptly replaced with glee as you clicked on the green answer button.

“Tabito!” you said. Although you had texted with him every now and then, you were ashamed to admit that you hadn’t spoken to him as much as you should’ve. You reasoned that he had had equal opportunity to reach out first and hadn’t, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was a feeble excuse that was only meant to deflect the blame from yourself and nothing more.

“Y/N,” he said. His voice was deeper than you remembered, and more resonant, too, lilting with a husky, full-bodied musicality that hadn’t been there when you had left. “Hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you reassured him. “What’s up?”

“Do you remember — sorry, this is really stupid, so don’t feel bad for saying no,” he said.

“It’s okay. I’ve definitely seen you do way stupider things,” you said. He chuckled.

“You’re probably right. Here goes, then. Um, do you remember when you went to my first soccer game in middle school, and afterwards, we agreed you wouldn’t come to another until I was the captain of a really good high school team?” he said.

“I think so, why?” you said. A second later, it hit you, and you gasped, beaming so widely that your face ached. “No way! For Bambi Osaka? Since when?”

“Yup, for Bambi Osaka. The old captain just graduated, and he named me as his replacement today, so, uh, since today, I guess,” he said.

“I wish you would’ve told me in person so you could see how much I’m smiling right now,” you said. “Congratulations, Tabito! You can’t begin to know how proud I am of you.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Anyways, our first game is this Thursday, so…”

“Huh? Did you want me to come?” you said. “Yayoi won’t be back from Tokyo by then, though. Shouldn’t I wait for her?”

“If you’d prefer that,” he said. “Or, I mean, you don’t have to go at all. I was just offering in case you were interested, but no hard feelings if not.”

Since when had he been so awkward with you? Since when had he stumbled over his words and been so unsure? You frowned at the mere chance that there was more than a physical distance between the two of you, even if it probably was the case, despite how much you had never wanted such an event to occur.

“As long as you want me, I’ll be there. I don’t have much else to do anyways, right? And how could I miss your first game as captain? Let me know where and when, and I’ll definitely come,” you said. He exhaled softly.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I want you there. I’ll let you know the details, but like I said, no pressure. Don’t force yourself. Come if you can.”

It was springtime, and the world was still remembering how to come alive, peeking out its head from the den of winter and blinking its sleepy eyes against the sun. There were not any flowers in bloom quite yet, but as far as the eye could see were buds on the precipice of rupturing, the pale undersides of their petals mere imitations of the hues they’d soon display proudly. The birds still warmed eggs in nests made of twigs and twine, but already there were cracks in a few of the creamy shells; here and there, even, little yellow beaks could be seen reaching towards the sky and chittering incessant demands at their parents.

You were lazy as you pedaled your bike down the side streets leading towards the field where the match was being held. It was an away game, technically, but this worked out better for you, as the high school they were playing at was closer to your house than the Bambi Osaka stadium, which was far enough that you would’ve needed to take a taxi.

According to Tabito, the game was actually more of a scrimmage, as they were playing a local school’s soccer club instead of another organization’s youth team, as they did in serious matches. Apparently, this was by design, as it gave their coach the opportunity to test Tabito's skills at being a captain in a low-stakes, low-pressure environment. If he proved himself incapable, the coach would override the previous captain’s pick and name another member of the team to the position, but if he played as well as he always did, and managed to coordinate the rest of the players in a satisfactory manner, then he’d be given the position permanently.

You had reminded him that this meant he technically wasn’t the captain yet, but to this he had said that he had the title and the armband, and if anything, since that was the situation, he needed you there more than ever. After all, he had explained, you had been in the audience when he had scored the winning goal in his first game for his middle school’s team. You were good luck for him. If you were in the crowd, then there was no way he could lose.

Parking your bike in the lot alongside the others, you locked it and then made your way towards the entrance to the stadium, the ticket Tabito had sent you in between your index and middle fingers. Even though there wouldn’t be very many people attending this game, it was Bambi Osaka’s policy to require tickets for entry to any of their matches, and the price if you weren’t associated with a player was, you heard, quite hefty.

You sat by yourself in the stands, your purse beside you and your legs crossed at the ankles. You couldn’t explain why, but there was a doubt in the back of your mind about whether you even belonged in the audience at all. Without Yayoi at your side, it felt like there was a neon sign in the air pointing at you and declaring you inept and unwelcome. Everyone else was buzzing with theories and predictions for the upcoming game, tossing out the names of the players and their opinions on them, but you were by yourself, without even a drink to warm your hands.

The gray of that isolation evaporated the moment that the Bambi Osaka boys took to the field, led by none other than Tabito. You were suddenly reminded that you weren’t just allowed to be there — you were wanted, genuinely wanted, and so you had as much if not more of a claim to your seat than anyone else could. Tabito had invited you. He could’ve invited anyone else in the entire city, but still he had invited you, and you would not tarnish that by thinking you were alone when he was there, as he always was.

As was to be expected, there was a complete difference to the way Tabito played when compared to that very first game of his which you had watched. For one, he was at the front of the field instead of in the middle, and there was an impertinence to the way he shook the hand of the opposing captain, an audacious smirk on his face which was visible even from the distance. This was a side of Tabito you weren’t so acquainted with, a side which was brazen and self-assured and stood as if he had already won before the referee even blew the whistle to begin.

The game moved faster than you could keep up with, and without Yayoi there to give you a play-by-play, you found yourself utterly lost about the finer details of the match. Still, even you could tell that Bambi Osaka was in the lead, and by no small margin — largely in part thanks to the combined skills of Tabito and a slender, pale-haired boy whose jersey read Hiori.

When Tabito was younger, there had been a desperate, vicious quality to his soccer, as if he really might die should he lose. It was in direct contrast to now, where he toyed with the opposite team in much the same way a cat would toy with a ball of yarn — with a distinct sense of superiority, like he was looking down on them even as he forced his way past, not giving them any other choice but to watch as he drove his way down the field.

“Is number 10 the new captain?” a boy behind you said. He sounded younger; maybe he had an older brother on one of the teams, or maybe he was just that supportive of Bambi Osaka. You didn’t turn, but you did tune into the conversation, wondering what they’d say about Tabito.

“Karasu? Yes, he is,” a slightly older boy said. “My brother said he’s a real asshole, but he’s a great guy when it counts. They’re all happy he’s the one who was recommended for the spot.”

“He’s so good,” the younger boy said. “And Hiori, as well. They’re both amazing.”

“Hiori’s only a first year, too. I bet he’s going to go far,” the older boy said. “Now shush, quit distracting me. I’m trying to watch the game.”

To no one’s surprise, Bambi Osaka won by a ridiculous amount of goals, and as Tabito shook hands with the school’s captain again, you noticed their coach nodding in approval, annotating something on his clipboard with a satisfied smile on his face. You waited until all of them had vanished into the locker rooms to head to the exit and wait by your bike for Tabito to join you.

About twenty minutes later, he and the rest of the team trickled out, discussing their game and the plans for the next one. At first it seemed like he had not noticed you, absorbed in conversation as he was, but it quickly became evident that he had, for he skillfully guided the others towards where you stood, never faltering in words nor steps until he reached you. Then he paused, schooling his expression into one of shock, his eyebrows raising and his lips parting as if he had happened upon you entirely by accident. It was an amusing bit of theatrics, albeit realistic to anyone who did not know his mannerisms as well as you did.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, all composed and airy and dispassionate, as if it were mere coincidence that the two of you had met at that moment, as if it hardly mattered to him that you were there. It might’ve fooled another person, but not once in his life had he been able to fool you, and he certainly wouldn’t start today.

He must’ve showered in the locker rooms, for his hair fell loose and silky around his face instead of styled back as it typically was, and when you hugged him — which was met a reflexive return of his arms around your body before he could even manage to yelp in surprise — you could smell the faint, pleasant scent of his soap which still clung to his skin.

“Hi,” you said, holding onto him for as long as you deemed publicly appropriate before wriggling free and smiling at him. “I think you did good. Without Yayoi, I couldn’t be sure, but to me you looked great.”

“Eh,” he said. “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been better. But thanks.”

“Woah, Karasu,” one of his teammates said. He was a tall and burly player who reminded you vaguely of Aoyama, and he accompanied the exclamation by wrapping one arm around Tabito in a friendly headlock and using his free hand to ruffle the boy’s damp hair, leaving him to resemble a sea urchin. “You didn’t tell us you had such a beautiful girlfriend! Hello, ma’am, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Get off of me,” Tabito wheezed, slapping his teammate away. “You fuckface, I’m going to kill you. Don’t try to shake her hand!”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” you said, accepting his teammate’s proffered hand. “Just best friends with his older sister. You can think of me as a stand-in for her while she’s finishing up her first year in Tokyo. My name’s Y/N, by the way.”

“Ah, you’re that Y/N!” he said.

“I believe I am? What does that mean?” you said.

“Nothing bad,” Tabito cut in. “Yayoi’s come to a few games and mentioned you, so everyone’s been wanting to meet you.”

“It’s true. I mean, a girl who refused to come to a game until and unless Karasu was made captain? We all thought you must be something intense,” his teammate said. “You seem pretty normal, though. And also super hot, if you don’t mind me mentioning.”

“Well, he’s the one who told me not to come, so if anyone’s intense, it’s him,” you said. “And, uh, thanks? I guess?”

“I mind you mentioning, so shut the hell up,” Tabito said, finally breaking free of his teammate’s hold and shoving him away from you. “Sorry about this one, Y/N. He’s incorrigible.”

His teammate laughed raucously. “My fault, my fault. Sorry, Karasu.”

“Say sorry to her,” Tabito said. “She’s the one you were bothering.”

“It’s alright,” you assured him. “Really, I don’t mind the compliment. Even if it could’ve been phrased better.”

“Anything for you, gorgeous lady,” his teammate said with a wink. “But, ah, considering I value my life and limbs, I think I’m going to head out now, as our new captain seems about a few seconds away from murdering me. See you around!”

He ran away to rejoin the rest of the Bambi Osaka boys as they all headed in their separate directions towards their homes, leaving you and Tabito alone once more. As soon as they were all gone, he sighed, that put-upon countenance he had maintained for the entirety of the conversation falling apart in an instant.

“I didn’t think he’d say all of that,” he said. “Sorry again.”

“You worry so much,” you said. “Come on, you just won another match, didn’t you? That’s cause to celebrate, so don’t look so tired and mopey.”

“I don’t look tired and mopey!” he defended. “This is just how my face is!”

“Uh-huh, sure,” you said, unlocking your bike and beginning to walk it beside you so you could keep talking to him. “I seem to remember your face being quite a bit rounder and sunnier. Now you’re all angles and doom and gloom.”

“That’s not something I can help,” he said, taking your bike from you so he could walk it instead. “Y/N, you’re being mean. I haven’t seen you in so long and now you’re acting like Yayoi.”

“You think I’m acting like Yayoi? I’m hurt,” you said. “Okay, then, you sensitive captain. How about we go get ice cream? My treat, since you got the position and all.”

“Okay,” he said. “But it’ll be my treat, not yours, because you came to my game and stayed the whole time. It was your good luck that helped me in the end.”

“Offering to pay for me? I suppose I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, so I’ll allow it this time. Anyways, I would’ve had to, because I just realized I left my wallet at home,” you said.

“Almost like you did that on purpose,” he mused, bumping your shoulder with his. “Was that your plan all along? Suggesting we get ice cream but forgetting to bring any money, so I had to cover for us both?”

“I see why your team members think you’re an asshole,” you said. “It’s a surprise, to be sure, but then again, maybe I should’ve seen it coming.”

“Who’s calling me an asshole?” he said. “How did you know that? I’m not! Whoever it is, they were making things up, because I’m — I’m super nice! Seriously, where did you hear that? Stop giggling and answer me!”

You extended your arm to run your fingers through his mussed up hair, smoothing it down as best as you could. “A magician never tells her secrets. Don’t worry about it and just tell me which flavor you’re getting.”

“The same as always, why?” he said.

“I want to decide whether I should steal some of it or not,” you said.

“You don’t have to steal it. I’ll share if you want some,” he said.

“It’s better if I’m doing something wrong. I think it adds to the flavor, or enhances it, or something,” you said. He considered this before nodding with the utmost of gravity.

“If that’s how it is, then you’re absolutely not allowed to even look at my ice cream. I’ll be, uh, super mad if you do,” he said, his glare so fearsome and dark that it skipped the realms of intimidation and landed squarely in the land of comedy.

“You’re the best,” you said.

“I do what I can,” he said. “Will you let me have some of yours?”

“Hm,” you said. “Fine, but only because I love you so much.”

He fought back a smile at that, staring directly ahead, the tendons of his hands flexing on the handlebars of your bike as you continued to walk along the empty sidewalk, the glowing sun in the distance a reminder of the many days exactly like this which you still had left to spend.

The break flew by so quickly it was almost more of a punishment than anything. About as soon as you had gotten settled back into a rhythm of spending your days with the Karasus and your evenings with your parents, it was time for you and Yayoi to return to Tokyo for your second year of college, as well as for Tabito to enter his final year of high school.

You took for granted that you would be back as soon as the first term ended, so when you boarded the train to Tokyo, you didn’t take the time to properly appreciate the place where you had grown up. The city where you had whiled away your idyllic childhood…you had considered it a guarantee that you’d return soon, so why would you linger? But a couple of weeks into your first term, you got news from your parents: your father’s job had, almost out of the blue, transferred him, and so they would be moving to nearby Kawasaki by the end of the month.

There was definitely a pro to having your parents at that distance — they were close enough that you could visit them whenever you wanted to, but far enough that you could justify not going if you were so inclined, and removed enough that your life still belonged to you and only you. Still, it was a little like having a rug pulled out from under you when you weren’t even aware you were standing on a rug in the first place; especially because you could not so much as help in the moving process, given that you were stuck at school and could make no excuse to go back home for such a long time.

The house they found in Kawasaki was in a good area, and though it was smaller than your old one, it was still airy and bright, with large windows and wooden floors and enough bedrooms that you could still have your own despite not living there full-time anymore. Your parents were actually glad for the reduced size, for it meant less emptiness, less cleaning to be done in places that never even got used or looked at.

When you went to visit during the first term break, it seemed like they really were happy there. Or perhaps they were just trying to convince you that this was for the best, that you should not be sad, but if that was so, then they shouldn’t have bothered. You were the one who had left first, who had gone to Tokyo to study and work. Of course it was more abrupt and final than you had wanted, but hadn’t this day always been looming on the horizon? Eventually, you would’ve stopped visiting so frequently, if at all. There was no reason to mourn the occurrence of an inevitability.

Besides the drama of your parents’ move, your second year was uneventful. You made even more friends than you had in your first year, and you still saw Yayoi as much as you could, although it was more difficult for the time being. Luckily, at this point you two had the kind of friendship wherein you picked up as if you had never been apart whenever you reunited, so you at least had that one constant in what sometimes felt like an ever-shifting life.

Around the time that your finals began, you received a text from Tabito, written in a formal language that was nothing like the messages full of abbreviations and emoticons that he generally sent you.

‘Hi, Y/N. I hope you’re doing well, and that your second year in university didn’t give you too much difficulty. I’m just reaching out to let you know that my graduation is next Friday. The ceremony starts at 6:30 in the evening, and I managed to reserve you a spot. The address and information is on the ticket — if you’re able to come, then I’d really appreciate it, but if not, then that’s totally okay. I just thought I should let you know.’

You stared at your phone, a sinking feeling in your stomach. No matter how much you wanted to go, you couldn’t. There were too many factors against it, and you felt horrible as you typed out your response. Any way you went about it came across as too harsh, but then again, was there even a gentle way to reject someone when they had come to you with something so important?

‘tabito!! i can’t believe you’re graduating already, wow!! i really would like to come, but i have a final that friday in the afternoon :( plus i don’t know if you heard or not but my family moved to kawasaki, so i wouldn’t really have anywhere to stay. thank you so much for inviting me though!! i’ll get yayoi to bring a cardboard cutout of me to put in my seat or something LOL. it’ll be just like the real thing!!!’

He responded almost immediately, and despite the effort he must’ve made to sound unaffected, he was obviously disappointed by the turn of events, his efforts at cheer only further highlighting that fact.

‘It’s okay, really! And thank you. Haha yes a Y/N cutout will have to be good enough then. Good luck on your final!’

The rest of the week, the unopened file from Tabito, which sat in your email inbox, tantalized you, and you found yourself obsessively checking the schedule of trains leaving Tokyo. There was one back to your hometown that would depart an hour after your exam was scheduled to end, and you refreshed it constantly, waiting to see if tickets would sell out. Once they were gone, it would give you an excuse not to buy them, but to your frustration, they never did.

You would have to run, and even then it wasn’t a guarantee you would make it, to the train or the graduation, but it was the best chance you had, and with every passing moment, it began to sound like more and more of a viable option.

On Thursday evening, when you once again checked the ticket site and noticed there were open seats, you bit your tongue to stop yourself from swearing, and then you entered your credit card information into the prompt. A minute later, you got a confirmation email, letting you know that your seat was booked for the next day. Burying your face in your hands, you inhaled deeply, vowing not to tell Tabito in case he got his hopes up for nothing. Breathing in and out through your nose once more, you straightened your back and opened up your textbook, returning to studying with a renewed vigor borne of the adrenaline rush which resulted from the impulsive decision.

If your professor found it odd that you came to the exam hall in formal clothes, with your hair done and an overnight bag over your shoulder, she did not say anything, only motioning for you to put your bag with the others and then handing you your paper.

Thankfully, you had studied through the year, and this exam was for one of your easier subjects, so it was a relative breeze. You finished with time to spare, leaving the hall with your things and walking to the train station without any worries except for what would happen once you reached your end destination.

The train ride was longer than you remembered, and by the time you were disembarking at the station closest to Tabito’s high school, it was already 6:00. You sprinted through the platform, calling out apologies as you ran into people or elbowed them out of the way, trying to get to the taxi area before anyone else could claim all of the available vehicles.

“Stop!” you shouted when the singular remaining taxi prepared to drive off to a different pick-up location. You must’ve looked a sight, chasing after a taxi by the train station, wearing a dress and heels, stumbling over your feet with your arm outstretched. “Hey, sir! Stop!”

By some miracle, he saw you through the rearview mirror and screeched to a halt. You opened the back door and dove in, scribbling down the address on a slip of paper and handing it to him, as was customary. Then, when he input the address into his GPS and accelerated onto the route, you leaned forward.

“Sir, I’ll tip you generously if you can get me there before 6:30,” you said.

“I will do my best, ma’am. Please hold on,” he said. That was all the warning you got before he stepped on the gas pedal, the car taking off at all but twice the speed of the surrounding traffic, leaving you to hold onto your seat as the scenery outside blurred into nothing but a smear of pinks and greens and browns.

He got you there at 6:27, which was too close for comfort but still earlier than should’ve been humanly possible, so you reached into your wallet and pulled out a wad of cash that was certainly more than you owed. Slapping it on the console, you mumbled out a thank you and ran off without waiting for a response, trying your best to remember the directions to the auditorium from the email Tabito had sent you.

“Do you have a ticket, miss?” the security guard waiting at the door to the auditorium said. You reached into your pocket and tried to unlock your phone; your slick fingers typed in the wrong password twice before it finally opened and you could brandish the file. He squinted at it before nodding and opening the door for you. “The ceremony has already begun, so please try not to make too much of a disturbance when you enter.”

Your shins and the balls of your feet ached from how much ground you had covered in your less-than-supportive footwear and the speed at which you had done so. Your shoulder, too, was sore under the strain of your bag, but you ignored these pains, counting down the rows and the seat numbers until you spotted the empty one that belonged to you. Squeezing past the others who had already taken their places, you collapsed in the cushioned chair, a sigh of relief escaping you when you saw that, though the ceremony was already underway, Tabito was still yet to go.

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” Yayoi said absentmindedly, for your seat was naturally beside hers. Then, like she had realized what she had said, her jaw dropped. “Y/N? I thought you couldn’t come!”

“Shh, he’s about to go,” you said. “I’ll explain later.”

If you had hesitated for even a minute at any point, you would’ve missed it, but by the grace of some universal power, you had made it into your seat right as Tabito stepped up to take his diploma. He scanned the crowd, much in the same way he did when he was playing soccer, but sadly instead of sharply, like he was aware that he was about to be disappointed yet knew he had to experience that disappointment first-hand regardless.

His eyes slid over everyone in the audience dismissively, but when they landed upon you, they paused, and though it was too far for you to see, you fancied they must’ve widened the slightest bit. Not enough for anyone else to make anything of it, but enough for you to know.

For an instant, everyone else disappeared. In that auditorium, there was only Tabito on the stage and you in the audience, his diploma slack in his grasp, your breaths still fast and uneven. And although there was a distance, and no small one at that, between you and him, it was as if you were right by his side, as if you could see every single emotion which flickered across his face. Shock. Disbelief. Wonder. Then, finally, a sheer, childish thing which could only be called joy — unabashed and whole and candid joy. He smiled in the way he only did for you, not for anyone else in the entire world, not smug and haughty but shy and sincere, and you could not help but smile as well, raising your hand and waving at him like he always did at you.

He was taken aback, but obviously delighted, and so, as the principal announced his name and read off his accomplishments while with the school, Tabito ignored the praise and the applause, focusing solely on returning your wave with one of his own.

“What are you doing here?” he said, sweeping you into a hug as soon as you had all left the auditorium and he had reunited with his family. “You said you couldn’t come!”

“I was wondering the same thing,” Yayoi said from where she was waiting at your side. “And Tabito, when you’re done showing your clearfavoritism, give me a high-five or something.”

He held onto you for a moment longer before letting go and high-fiving his sister, who was the only one that hadn’t been there for when Mr. and Mrs. Karasu, as well as Tabito and Yayoi’s grandmother, had taken teary eyed photos with him. She had instead stayed with you, telling you that you owed her an explanation and then jumping to another topic of conversation before you could give her one.

“There was a train from Tokyo which left an hour after my exam window ended,” you said. “I know you don’t like surprises, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make it, so I didn’t want to tell you in advance in case things didn’t work out. As it is, I had to bribe the taxi driver to get me here from the station at highly illegal speeds, and with that, I only made it to the front of the building by 6:27. Honestly, I still can’t believe I got there before you went at all, but I’m so glad I did.”

“Me, too. You’re right that I don’t normally like surprises, but this one, I was really happy about, so it’s an exception,” Tabito said. Now that he was no longer under obligation to hang around with Yayoi, he was back at your side, playing with the zipper of your bag in fascination while you spoke.

“Me, three,” Yayoi said. “He was seriously depressed that you weren’t coming. The house was like a toxic wasteland the entire week. It’s going to be much safer and cleaner now.”

“Toxic wasteland?” you said.

“Yup, and the toxic waste himself is right next to you, so be careful,” she said.

“You’re so dramatic. It wasn’t like that,” Tabito said.

“Sure,” she said. “Yup. Totally wasn’t.”

“Why do you always do this?” he whined.

“Do what?” Yayoi said.

“Try to embarrass me whenever you can!” he said.

“Not like it’s possible for me to embarrass you in front of Y/N out of everyone. You do that all on your own, so there’s no way I can make things worse,” she said.

“Yayoi!” he snapped.

“Onto more pressing subjects,” you interjected before things could worsen. “Um. I do have a slight problem.”

“What is it?” Tabito said.

“I kind of came here on a whim, so I don’t really have anywhere to sleep, exactly,” you said. The siblings exchanged looks before Yayoi rolled her eyes and Tabito grabbed your bag from you.

“You’ll stay with us, of course,” Yayoi said.

“For as long as you want,” Tabito added. “Or as long as you can, actually. That’s better. Don’t leave until you absolutely have to.”

“We can put your bags in the car, and then we have to take pictures,” Yayoi said.

“I didn’t know you cared enough to want to commemorate my graduation,” Tabito said. Yayoi snorted.

“Nah, I just want to commemorate Y/N’s wild journey from Tokyo, and the fact that she magically got here on time. I don’t ever want to forget about that,” she said.

“I’d be offended, but actually, I’m in agreement. I can’t believe you bribed a taxi driver for me,” Tabito said.

“Ah, well, you know,” you said. “I just told him I’d tip him if he could get me there on time, and he did it.”

“You’re crazy,” he said affectionately.

“Totally,” Yayoi agreed.

“And aren’t you grateful for it?” you said, curling your fingers around his wrist and throwing the other arm around Yayoi’s shoulders, causing her to shoot you a mock-dirty look before she made herself comfortable against you.

“Yes,” Tabito said, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks when he lowered them bashfully, that same smile lighting up his face at the sensation of your fingers dancing over his veins. “I really am.”

The world was quite determined not to split you and the Karasus apart for very long. You learned that night that, along with getting into a prestigious college, Tabito had also been selected to join the Japanese U-20 soccer team. In order to balance his academics — he could’ve quit school entirely by this point if he so chose, but he was far too paranoid to not have a second option should his soccer career not take off — with the new demands of the team, he would be living in Tokyo with one of his new teammates, a boy he had never met but was supposedly named something along the lines of Eita Otoya.

His new place was somewhat close to your apartment; close was a subjective word, of course, but to you, when the weather was nice and you were in no rush to be anywhere or do anything, it was a perfectly walkable distance, and you told him you’d definitely show him and Otoya around once they were moved in and had a moment to spare for such a frivolous outing.

Between his practices and the increase in his workload, it seemed like you really might never see Tabito at all, however close you might’ve now been to him physically. Yet somehow, on a warm day at the brink of summer, he texted you asking if the offer was still on the table, and if so, could you please show him and Otoya a place to get good coffee, because the stuff they made with their Keurig machine wasn’t cutting it anymore. You laughed, responding that you’d be delighted to, and that you were free all weekend, with no qualms about dedicating a day solely to them.

Your first impression of Eita Otoya was that, next to Tabito, he had a delicate and pointed appeal to his pretty features. He was smaller than Tabito, and although there wasn’t an ounce of menace in the way he stood, all inviting and open and casual, there was a wolflike canniness to his green irises, which glimmered when he noticed you approaching.

Before Otoya could even say anything, Tabito had covered his mouth with a hand, glaring down at him in a manner which did not seem to entirely be in jest.

“No way,” he said. “Flirt with whoever else you want, but she and Yayoi are off limits.”

Otoya held his hands up in the air, his voice muffled by Tabito’s palm when he spoke. “Got it, dude. Plenty of other fish in the sea, right?”

“For you, yeah,” Tabito said. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi, Tabito,” you said. “And you must be Otoya? It’s nice to meet you. Tabito’s mentioned you a few times.”

“Hopefully he’s only said good things,” Otoya said, shaking your hand, careful to keep a cordial distance between you two.

“On the contrary, I’ve been led to believe you’re the devil incarnate,” you said.

“Really?” Otoya said.

“No, of course not. He’s only ever spoken highly of you. I was just joking,” you said.

“That’s a relief,” Otoya said. “It’d be awkward if you had a bad impression of me before we’d even met.”

“Did you really think I’d complain about you to her? I’m kind of hurt,” Tabito said.

“Look, you never know! Maybe that’s how you get your aggression out,” Otoya said.

“It’s not. If I had any aggression, I’d just yell at you yourself. I definitely wouldn’t burden her with any of your hypothetical nonsense, not in a million years,” Tabito said.

“Woah, didn’t realize we had a gentleman here,” Otoya said with a snicker. “Okay, then. Thanks for not talking shit about me behind my back.”

“Anytime,” Tabito said.

“Are you two done yet?” you said. “I don’t want the place to close before we get a spot.”

“Is it nearby?” Otoya said. “As long as it’s close, it doesn’t even matter if it’s expensive. I just need something better than those shitty convenience store Keurig packets Tabito’s been getting for us.”

“That’s the best I’ve been able to bring home at the random times you text me telling me we’re out! Sorry I don’t stop by a damn café after every morning practice,” Tabito said.

“This guy,” Otoya said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Doesn’t understand the value of a good coffee one bit.”

“Not everyone has that touch,” you whispered back with a wink. “It’s alright. I won’t let you suffer any longer; the shop I’m taking you to is only a block away, and it’s relatively inexpensive — for the city, anyways. If you don’t know that it’s there, though, it’s easy to miss, so I don’t blame you for not seeing it.”

“My hero!” Otoya said. “Lead the way.”

You had discovered the small café entirely by accident during your first year in Tokyo. It was tucked away between a laundromat and a veterinary office, far from where one would expect a shop of its nature to be located, and although there was were always a couple of patrons scattered throughout the booths and tables, it was never bustling or crowded enough to take away from the cozy atmosphere.

Tabito held the door open for you, and consequently for Otoya, who followed after and inhaled deeply, clasping his hands together in awe.

“This is amazing,” he said. “L/N, you’re like an angel sent from heaven or something. I could fall to my knees and praise you with a sonnet right now, I’m that happy.”

“If you fall to your knees or do anything similarly stupid in front of her, I’ll show you why I made the U-20 team,” Tabito said, raising his leg in the air like he was threatening to kick Otoya.

“He was just joking around, Tabito, it’s not a big deal,” you said. Then, to Otoya: “You’re pretty funny, you know.”

“Thanks,” he said with a grin. “I try my best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.”

“Mostly it doesn’t,” Tabito muttered under his breath. “Tell me your order, Y/N, and I’ll get it for you.”

“Oh, thanks!” you said, listing off your favorites from the cafe’s menu for him. He wrote it down on his phone, lines of concentration etched into his brow as he painstakingly typed out the entire order before showing it to you to confirm that it was correct.

“Can you get me their seasonal drink?” Otoya said, sliding into the seat across from you and peering up at Tabito, who was entirely unamused by the act. “That floral-type latte. It sounds sick.”

“Get it yourself,” Tabito said.

“Why? You’re going to be up there, so just order and let me get to know dear Miss L/N here,” Otoya said. Tabito seemed conflicted, but you nodded reassuringly at him.

“Fine, but you — you know the deal,” he said, brandishing his pointer finger at Otoya. “Don’t you dare mess with her.”

“You got it,” Otoya said with a double-thumbs-up.

“I’m sorry. He’s always been like that, but he really does mean well,” you said, gazing after Tabito once he had stomped away to the counter.

“Been like what?” Otoya said. “An asshole? Ah, but I’m only saying it affectionately, so please don’t tell him I called him that, or else you’ll cause problems where there aren’t any.”

“He’s sweet at heart,” you said. “I know how he can seem to other people, especially at first, but I met him when he was four years old, so I guess I never really saw that side of him. He’s never been anything but kind to me. I guess that’s all I’m trying to say.”

“You’ve known Karasu for that long?” Otoya said.

“Yup. Like I said, I’m not denying that he’s abrasive most of the time, but he’s only being so protective because he cares about his sister and I so very much. Please don’t take it personally. He’s just that type of younger sibling,” you said.

“Younger sibling?” Otoya repeated. “That’s how you see him, huh? I get it now. If that’s how things are, then I won’t butt in.”

“That’s how they are,” you said. For some reason, this caused him to laugh at you, but it was pitying and mocking and not a sound you preferred to hear from anyone — most certainly not from a person you had only just met.

“It’s always so complicated in life, huh? That’s why I never really try too hard. Problems get worse the more you think about them,” he said. It hardly counted as an explanation, but for some reason, you were sure that that was all you were going to get out of him. “Oh, shit!”

“What happened?” you said as, abruptly and without warning, he shot to his feet,

“I was supposed to work on a group presentation today,” he said, running a hand through his hair with a groan. “They just texted to confirm that we’re meeting in the library in fifteen minutes.”

“Can you make it on time?” you said. He was already typing the address of his school’s library into his GPS, and the instant it loaded, he nodded at you.

“I’ve got it, but I’m afraid I’ll have to head out right about now, or else this crazy girl in my group will kill me. Tell Karasu I’ll send him the money for my drink, and that he can enjoy it on me,” he said. “Poor guy needs it, I’m pretty sure.”

“It’ll be too sweet for him, but I’ll pass along the message, sure,” you said.

“Now, normally, this would be the part where I’d ask you for your number, but no matter how beautiful you are, I’m not willing to risk my living situation for you,” he said. “Karasu’s pretty cool, as far as roommates go. It could definitely be worse, so I’d really not like to lose him and end up with some weirdo who collects toenail clippings, just for flirting with the one girl that he declared off-limits.”

“His actual sister’s off-limits as well,” you reminded Otoya. “So that’s two.”

“He did say that, didn’t he? But you’re off-limits in a different way, and unless I want to end up like my own older sister, whose first-year roommate built a replica of the Taj Mahal from the hair she collected out of their drain, I’m going to respect that,” he said.

“That’s disgusting,” you said, too busy gagging at the mental image artwork he had just described to even question what else he was talking about. “Well, you should be off to your group project, then. I’m sure I’ll see you around, Otoya, but in case it’s not for a while, I’ll wish you luck with soccer and school now.”

“Thanks. The same to you, and I am eternally in your debt for showing me this place, so if you ever need something, let me know,” he said, scrambling hastily out of the café without bothering to push his chair back under the table.

Tabito returned a few seconds later, setting the tray of your drinks down on the table and taking his spot in the booth at your side. Handing you the cup that belonged to you, he sipped on his own and placed Otoya’s across from himself.

“Where’d Otoya go?” he said.

“He said something about working on a group project and left. Apparently, he’ll send you the money for the drink, and you’re free to do with it as you please,” you said. Tabito wrinkled his nose.

“He always gets such sweet shit. There’s no way I’m going to be able to drink that,” he said.

“That’s what I told him, but what other option is there? We can share so it isn’t wasted,” you said, taking a swig from Otoya’s flowery beverage. It wasn’t bad, and you had a little more before giving it to Tabito.

“Ugh,” he said. “Fine.”

He poked out his tongue, lapping up the tiniest droplet of coffee which lingered on the rim of the cup, and then he made a face, handing it back to you and then gulping down two mouthfuls of his own drink to wash out the taste.

“That bad?” you said.

“Tasted like shit,” he said. “I don’t know how the two of you can drink that kind of stuff regularly without gagging.”

“It’s not my favorite, but it’s not as horrible as you’re making it out to be,” you said.

“I can literally feel my arteries clogging as we speak,” he said.

“Since when did you start speaking like an old man?” you said. “What boy your age talks about his arteries clogging?”

“Firstly, I’m trying to become a professional athlete, so I have to pay careful attention to things like my health, and secondly, we’re not that far apart in age. We have to worry about the same things, like jobs and grades and clogged arteries. Concerns of that nature,” he said.

“I’m glad you feel that way, but why’d you think I was referring to people my own age when I said old man, hm?” you said, elbowing him in the ribs playfully. “For your information, I doubt any of my own classmates would care about that shit yet, either. That was a distinctly middle-aged thing of you to say.”

“That makes me older than you,” he said. “If I’m middle-aged and you’re still all youthful and whatnot, that is. How do you feel about that age gap? It’s a little racy, don’t you think?”

You gave him an incredulous look. He couldn’t even maintain his straight face for more than a second, immediately losing composure and snorting at you.

“You’re the worst,” you said.

“And you’re easy to tease,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I had to take the opportunity when it presented itself.”

“I’ll give it to you this once,” you said. “Next time, you’re not getting off so easily.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “You’re all talk. I’m not scared one bit.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so adorable,” you said. “How am I supposed to stay mad when you look like you just watched a puppy die every time Yayoi yells at you?”

He scowled at you. “You’re making that up, aren’t you? Or is that how you actually see me?”

“Hm,” you said. “Let’s finish our drinks. They don’t taste as good if they’ve sat for too long.”

Huffing in exasperation but knowing that you’d not go into more detail once you’d changed the subject, he finished off what was left of his order in one fell swoop, and then he snatched Otoya’s drink from your hands, tossing it into the trashcan before you could so much as blink.

“Aw,” you said. “I feel bad. That’s how we’re responding to Otoya’s act of goodwill?”

“Forget about his goodwill,” Tabito said. “It’s not like he did it because of how magnanimous he is or anything. He’s just a dumbass who forgot that he had prior commitments.”

“Nothing like you, of course,” you said. “You’re always on time, and you only ever order the best of drinks.”

“Exactly,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument — not that you would’ve argued with him, even if there was any cause to. Your father had always told you that generally, it was better to lose an argument than a loved one, and since the notion of losing Tabito was akin to a spear being driven into your heart, you did your best to avoid the chance of that frightful outcome ever occurring at all.

A few days before the end of the winter term, Yayoi called you in a flurrying panic. When you picked up, you were expecting her to be asking about the plans you had made for the road trip you two were taking, but it was nothing of the sort. Indeed, the first words out of her mouth were ones you had never once heard from her, and you almost dropped your phone the moment she said them.

“Y/N, I need your help. There’s this guy—”

“What?” you said. “Since when? What’s his name? Where did you meet him, and how? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Is he handsome?”

“Oh my god, one question at a time!” she said. “Yes, he’s super handsome — actually, he’s a model, so it’s kind of a prerequisite. I’m telling you as it happens, so don’t think I’m keeping things from you! His name is Kenyu Yukimiya; he plays for the U-20 team with Tabito, and I met him when I went to one of their practices because I was bored. We spoke once, but I don’t think he remembers I exist, and even if he does, he probably considers me as nothing more than his teammate’s older sister.”

“Wait, U-20? Is he younger than us?” you said.

“Yes, he’s in Tabito’s year, though a couple of months older than him,” she said. “Do you think it’s weird? Oh, it’s totally weird, isn’t it? I’m a creep! I’m a stupid, ugly creep! Lock me away or turn me into the police or something!”

You cut her wailing off with a snicker. “Yayoi, relax. It’s not that weird, and I mean that honestly. It’s hardly even a two year difference, right? My own parents have a bigger age gap, and besides, you both are in pretty similar spots in life, so it shouldn’t be a problem, especially if he’s mature.”

“He seemed mature,” she said contemplatively. “He was super polite and kind when I spoke to him. Plus, unlike my stupid brother, he actually enjoys talking about the same things I do.”

“There you go, then,” you said. “You’re worrying for nothing. The only reason why anyone might say anything is because you’re older than him, but who cares about that? It’s a tired concept, the whole notion of the woman needing to be younger or smaller than her male partner or whatever. As long as he’s single and into you, I’d say you’re in the clear.”

“That’s what I actually called you to talk about!” Yayoi said. “You’ve had a boyfriend, so you know a little more than I do about this kind of thing. How am I supposed to get him to ask me out?”

“Just so you know, having had one boyfriend back in high school doesn’t exactly qualify me to give you advice,” you said. “Also, you can’t really get someone to ask you out. Why don’t you just go to another one of their practices and talk to him again once they’re done? If the conversation is flowing well, then you can ask him out yourself.”

“Um, that would be a great idea if I was brave enough to ask someone out,” she said. “Unfortunately, I definitely am not.”

“You don’t have to be all official and serious about it,” you said. “Don’t say you want to date or anything — ask him if he wants to hang out to continue the conversation at a later time, and then give him your number. That’s all. If he’s interested, he’ll call or text you to make plans, and if he’s not, then he won’t.”

“It’s that simple?” she said.

“I think it is,” you said. “I wouldn’t know from personal experience. Aoyama just asked me out. I never had to do anything.”

“Not all of us can be that lucky!” she said.

“Yeah, I get it. But I have confidence that you can pull it off! It’ll go great, and then you’ll actually be dating a model in Tokyo like you always said you would,” you said.

“Okay…” she said hesitantly. “Y/N?”

“Yayoi?” you said.

“Canyoucometothepracticewithme?” she said, all in one unintelligible breath. You furrowed your brow.

“Could you repeat that?” you said.

“Can you come to the practice with me?” she said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do it without you pressuring me a bit.”

“Sure, why not?” you said. “Is it in the morning or evening?”

“They have evening practices on Tuesdays. I was thinking we could go to one of those? That’s what I did last time, so it’s an established thing, and anyways I don’t think I could wake up early enough to go to a morning practice,” she said.

“Okay, good, because I was kind of scared I’d have to be up before the sun. I’d do it for you, and in a heartbeat, but I wouldn’t exactly be happy about it,” you said.

“I wouldn’t, either,” she said. “This Tuesday, then? We can have an early dinner or late snack together before heading over.”

“I won’t miss it,” you promised. “Make sure you wear something nice!”

After your Tuesday classes and errands were completed, you met Yayoi at a restaurant you both liked so that you could quickly eat before leaving for the practice. She was nervous the entire way, twirling the ends of her hair around her finger, straightening her already-perfect clothes, and chewing on her lower lip.

“Hey,” you said as the two of you entered the stadium and sat on the first row of benches. “Don’t stress out. If he’s an asshole, we’ll sic Tabito on him. I bet he could beat your crush in a fight, easily.”

“I don’t know,” Yayoi groaned. “Yukimiya’s super tall, and he looks pretty built, too. I think my baby brother might be outmatched.”

“No way,” you said loyally. “I’d bet on him over anyone.”

She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye. “I wish I could have the same faith in him, but considering what a dumbass he typically is, I can’t say I can muster it up. Look, that’s Yukimiya. Still think Tabito’s got it in the bag?”

Discreetly, she pointed out a boy with wavy chestnut hair and an admittedly powerful build. He stood next to Otoya, which only threw it into further relief just how muscular and tall he was. Yayoi hadn’t been lying about that, and neither had she made up how good-looking he was; you could tell just from that first glance that he was heartbreakingly handsome.

“Well,” you said, realizing that maybe you had been a bit overconfident in Tabito’s abilities. But you were too stubborn to change your answer now, and besides, you believed in him no matter what, so you only shrugged. “Yes. Even if it looked like he’d lose for sure, I’d still pick him. There just isn’t anyone else I’d ever choose.”

“Damn,” Yayoi said. “Fine, then. If Yukimiya ends up being an asshole, we’ll see who wins.”

“Deal,” you said. “Although, hopefully it doesn’t come to that.”

“Hopefully,” she agreed.

The practice was long, dragging on past sunset, the field’s lights turning on to ward away the darkness as the moon crept higher into the sky. Yayoi, who had confessed that she hadn’t slept well the previous night, slumped against you and passed out almost immediately, and you busied yourself with a pattern of checking your phone and watching moths fly fruitlessly into the massive lamps.

Finally, the coach blew the whistle to signify the end of the practice, and as the players exited the field, walking past where you were conveniently seated, right by the joint entrance-exit, you shook Yayoi.

“There’s no way you’re in this deep of a sleep,” you hissed at her unmoving form.

“Y/N?” It was not Yayoi but someone else who said your name; namely, Tabito, who had paused in front of you and Yayoi to gaze at you questioningly. “Why are you at my practice?”

“Not now, Tabito,” you said dismissively. Noticing that Otoya and, more importantly, Yukimiya, flanked him, you doubled down on your efforts to wake Yayoi, who remained unresponsive. “You bitch. I bet you’re just pretending to sleep so you don’t have to go through with the plan.”

“Hey, L/N! It’s been a bit,” Otoya said. “I’ve been visiting the place you showed us almost daily. It’s wicked good. You’re the best for bringing us there.”

“Hi, Otoya,” you said. “Sure, anytime. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Yayoi, if you won’t get up, I’ll just do it myself.”

Without waiting for her to respond, you stood up and bowed slightly at Yukimiya, who seemed entirely bemused by your odd actions. He glanced at both Otoya and Tabito for help, but neither of them had any clue what you were doing, either, so they could offer no assistance to him on that front.

“It’s nice to meet you. I hear your name is Kenyu Yukimiya?” you said.

“Yes, that’s correct,” he said. He had a pretty manner of speech, proper and refined, each word spoken with careful control. “Who might you be?”

“Y/N L/N, but that’s unimportant,” you said. “That’s Yayoi Karasu. She’s Tabito’s barely-older sister. You should talk to her.”

“Y/N!” Yayoi screeched, shooting up to a sitting position. “Why would you phrase it like that?”

“What is going on here?” Tabito said. Otoya shrugged, clearly lost as well.

“So you were faking it the entire time! Never in my life have I met a bigger coward,” you said, clicking your tongue in disappointment.

“Yayoi Karasu?” Yukimiya said. “Oh, I know you! You were here last week, right? We talked about Neon Genesis Evangelion.”

“That’s right! You, uh, remembered that?” Yayoi said. He beamed at her.

“How could I not? The movie is one of my favorites, and none of these guys like it, so it was great to meet someone else who’s seen it so many times,” Yukimiya said.

“Y/N,” Tabito whispered, sidling over to you, the tip of his sharp nose brushing against the shell of your ear. “Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“Depends,” you whispered back. “If you think this is your sister having a crush on your soccer teammate, then yeah, it is. Otherwise, no.”

“That’s gross,” Tabito said, horror twisting his features. “Yayoi and Yuki? No way. You have to be joking.”

“Why not? Because he’s younger than her? It’s only two years. That’s nothing,” you said. “You should be more supportive.”

“No,” he said, a peculiar edge to his voice. “No, I don’t — I don’t care about that part. I thought you might, but I don’t at all.”

“Huh? Why would I?” you said. “If they’re both interested in each other, and they make each other happy, that’s all that matters. We’re adults, so a few years here and there is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.”

“What about you? Would you ever do it?” he said, breathless and impatient, clenching the hem of your shirt in one fist.

“Date someone younger than me? I’m not sure. I’ve never really considered it; you’re the only one younger than me that I regularly interact with, and, well, you know. There’s a special consideration there. Why? Got a teammate you want to set me up with or something?” you said.

“Absolutely not,” he said, stepping away from you and scowling. “I’d never ever ever let one of those mediocre fucking idiots anywhere near you.”

“Just a hypothetical question, then? I suppose there’s no harm in that kind of thing every now and again. Was my response alright?” you said.

“How am I supposed to answer that?” he said tiredly. “It’s what you think, so obviously it’s fine. I should go now. I don’t want to keep Otoya waiting; he’ll get pissy and annoying if I do.”

“Oh, okay. Bye, Tabito! Let me know if you’re free sometime. I feel like I never see you, even though we’re all but neighbors. We should do something,” you said. The strange tone of the conversation had left you reeling, and you scrambled for something that would make it better, would chase away the anxiety constricting your lungs like a vice.

“I’ll let you know,” he said. It was a dull attempt at sounding excited, and for a brief, striking instant, you wanted to reach out and beg him to wait one second more. You wanted to apologize, though you knew not what you had even done. You wanted him to stay until he smiled at you again, the way he usually did, and then you wanted to — you wanted to — you weren’t sure. You weren’t sure what you would do after that, but you would do something, hold his hand or embrace him or something.

Yet instead, you did nothing, watching as he rejoined Otoya and entered the locker room without a backwards glance, leaving you standing by yourself in the bleachers, your heart hammering in your chest like a crow with clipped wings, thrashing against the bars of its steel cage in a futile attempt to escape.

“Can you believe it?” Yayoi said later. “He asked me out first! I didn’t even have to do anything!”

“Congratulations,” you said, as genuinely as you could. “I’m really happy for you, Yayoi. Fingers crossed that it all works out well. I’m sure it will; he seems like a really great guy, and you both were talking for a while, so you’re clearly compatible.”

“Thanks, I think so too!” she said before narrowing her eyes at you. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing!” you said. She was so happy that you could not bear the thought of burdening her with your problems, especially when they weren’t even problems in the first place. Yayoi was having none of it, though, frowning at you.

“You can tell me,” she said. You shook your head, so she poked you in the forehead. “Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.”

She punctuated each utterance of the refrain with another poke, until finally you batted her hand away in exasperation “It really is nothing. I just think I did something to upset Tabito — don’t ask me what, because I don’t know — and it’s making me feel a bit out of sorts.”

“He’ll get over it. Why’re you worried? This isn’t unusual. He’s mad at me half of the time. If I felt out of sorts every time he threw a tantrum about something, I’d never feel in sorts,” she said.

“But he hardly ever gets mad at me,” you said.

“Right,” she said, her eyes glimmering. “I forgot the two of you were like that. Hm. I still think you shouldn’t worry too much. If he’s actually mad, which I honestly doubt, then he’ll get over it quickly enough. He’s not capable of staying angry at you for any length of time.”

“If you say so,” you said. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. We need to celebrate you finally saying yes to a guy that asked you out!”

Yayoi blushed but nodded. “Should we go for drinks?”

“It is a Tuesday,” you reminded her.

“Is that a no?” she said.

“It’s a yes,” you said.

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” she said.

“Just for that, you’re covering the tab,” you said. She winked at you.

“Already planning on it!”

The end of your time at university came almost as soon as the beginning had. It was bizarre, walking out of the familiar exam hall for the final time — you knew you had passed, and you already had a job lined up for you in a month’s time, so there wasn’t any cause to worry, and indeed you did not. You only felt odd and light, as if you were floating through the streets of Tokyo, ephemeral like an aluminum wrapper bouncing down the pavement in the wind.

Neither Yayoi nor Tabito could attend your graduation ceremony which was held that Friday; Yayoi had fallen deathly ill, so you had enlisted Yukimiya in keeping her at home, lest she sneak out and kill herself by trying to support you, and as for Tabito, he happened to have a final exam held at exactly the time of the ceremony, which meant he was automatically excluded from attending.

Your parents, as well as both sets of your grandparents, were in the audience, but it wasn’t the same. You couldn’t help yourself from searching for the Karasus, for Tabito in particular, but no matter how hard you searched, it didn’t matter. They weren’t there. He wasn’t there.

When the president of your college, a portly woman with pin-curled hair and red lipstick, handed you your degree, you were hesitant in taking it. Your smile plastered on, you stared towards the door as your fingers inched towards the fancy paper. Any moment now. He’d burst through the door the way you had, and he’d see you, and he’d smile and then wave — it was like a tradition at this point, wasn’t it? It had to happen. He had to come. You knew he wouldn’t, but you couldn’t stop a foolish anticipation from brewing in you as you waited.

Your hands reached the certificate. You held it in front of you as the cameras went off, finally turning away from the door and grinning wider, resolving not to let it ruin your mood. After all, you had worked so hard to achieve this. Why did it matter who was in the audience? It could be an audience of none, and you’d still be happy. You’d still be proud, for no other reason than because you had done it, because all of your hours of studying and classes and homework had finally paid off.

You ate dinner with your family, and then you were invited to go out to a nearby bar by a few of your college friends. Seeing your parents and grandparents to the train station, you rushed back to your apartment to get ready for the night, entirely ready to let loose after what felt like several years’ worth of burdens had just been knocked from your shoulders.

The bar was packed with students from your school, all of whom had had much the same idea as you and your friends. The bartenders were rushing back and forth, sliding drinks out with as much speed as was humanly possible, and before long you were sipping on something fizzy and fruity that one of your friends had handed you.

At some point, one of your classmates, a boy who you had never known particularly well but recognized for his distinctive voice, which could be heard from all corners of the city when he got to bragging about his father’s salary, announced that the rest of the night’s drinks were on him. If you were his father, you’d be furious at the offer, but as you weren’t his father, you took advantage of it with impudence, downing glass after glass of whatever the bartender gave you.

Soon enough, the music and lighting, which you had found so charming and delightful earlier, began to pound at your head. The world spun, not unpleasantly but still in a disorienting manner, and you stumbled towards the door, pulling out your phone and singing to yourself as you decided who you wanted to call.

The cool air of the night was refreshing against your face, and you leaned against the brick wall of the establishment as you squinted at the blinding light of your phone’s screen. You could barely make out the dark characters which stood out on the white background, and eventually you gave up, switching to the keypad and using muscle memory to type in the number your fingers had long ago memorized.

He didn’t pick up until the last ring, and his voice was groggy when he spoke. In the back of your mind, you felt guilty, for you recognized that he must’ve been sleeping, but for the most part you were far too elated to hear him speaking, so you could not bring yourself to be too sorry.

“Hello? Y/N?”

“Tabito,” you said, your words slurring together, dragging out at the ends and trailing into soft breaths. “Tabito, you didn’t come to my graduation.”

He sounded a lot more alert when he spoke next, but he did not change the volume of his voice from that low murmur any. “I told you I couldn’t. I had an exam, remember?”

You sniffed, blinking rapidly. “Yeah, I remember.”

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it,” he said. “You know I would’ve been there if I could’ve.”

“Can you come now?” you said, your lower lip trembling.

“Come where?” he said. There was a muffled sound that you assumed was him rolling out of his bed, and then the soft padding noise of his footsteps.

“The bar,” you said. At this point, irrational tears were welling in your eyes. You weren’t even sad, but you couldn’t stop them from rolling down your cheeks, leaving scalding trails in their wake.

“Are you out with your friends? Why do you want me there? Aren’t you celebrating?” he said.

“I don’t know,” you said, and then you were hiccuping as you cried in earnest. “I don’t know, Tabito, I just want you to be here.”

“Okay, okay,” he soothed you. “I just left my apartment. Is it the bar you and Yayoi like to go to? The one by the grocery store?”

“Yes,” you said.

“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, and then we can decide what to do from there. Does that sound good?” he said.

“Mhm,” you said. “Are you going really fast? Tabito, you play soccer, right?”

“I do play soccer,” he said, sounding equal parts amused and concerned. “You come to watch my games sometimes. I like when you do that.”

“That means you must be fast,” you said. “Mega fast. Mega extra fast.”

“I’m only a little fast. Most of my teammates are faster,” he said.

“Ah,” you said. “But will you still be here super soon?”

“Yes, I’ll be there super soon,” he promised.

“Can you talk on the phone and walk at the same time?” you asked him.

“Well, I’m doing it at the moment, so yes, I’d assume so. Why do you ask?” he said.

“Isn’t that illegal?” you said.

“No, that’s for when you’re driving,” he said.

“Oh,” you said. “You don’t do that, do you?”

“I take the train or walk most places, so I don’t even have the opportunity to,” he said.

“But if you had to drive, you wouldn’t, right? Right, right?” you said.

“Right,” he said. “I’m just around the corner, so I’m going to hang up. Are you outside?”

“Next to the door,” you said.

“Don’t move,” he instructed you, and then he ended the call.

Before you could begin to wail about the abandonment, he was rounding the corner, looking so haphazard that, had you any more presence of mind, you’d have made fun of him for it. His hair stuck up in every which direction, like it had when he was younger and didn’t know how to style it, and he wore nothing but a random t-shirt thrown over a pair of plaid pajama pants, his feet shoved into the black Crocs that Yayoi had bought him as a gag gift last Christmas.

“Y/N! There you are,” he said, his shoulders slumping in relief as he pulled you into his arms. “Look, I’m with you now. Are you happy?”

You giggled. The world still rotated on an unidentifiable axis, but the firmness of Tabito’s grip had a kind of stabilizing effect, holding you in place and together and in one piece.

“Hi, baby,” you said. “Yes. So happy.”

“Baby?” he repeated, and based on the way his skin warmed, he must’ve been blushing.

“Look,” you said, reaching up so that you could play with the ends of his hair. “It’s like when you were a baby. When you were just little baby Tabito. That’s when I met you, you know.”

“I see,” he said, and there was a distinct yet inexplicable despondency to the way that the corners of his eyes crinkled and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Do you want to go home now?”

“I wanna be with you,” you said.

“That’s fine,” he said, so patiently and tenderly that your head grew fuzzier and fuzzier with every word he spoke. “I’ll stay with you either way, but I think we should probably head back. How much have you had to drink?”

“Um…” you tried to recount what you had ingested, but it was all a blur. “I don’t remember.”

He rubbed the back of his hand against your cheek. “Let’s go home, then. You definitely shouldn’t have any more. Will you be alright if I go inside and tell your friends I’m taking you back?”

“Do you have to?” you said, catching his sleeve and holding it in between your hands. “Why can’t we just leave?”

“They’ll worry about you,” he said, prying your fingers off with the utmost of delicacy. “If you leave without letting them know, they might think something bad happened. I’ll explain what’s going on so they aren’t scared, and then we can head out. Does that make sense?”

“Hmm,” you said. “Only because you say so.”

He chuckled slightly. “That’s good. I’ll be back before you know it.”

You counted the seconds that he was gone, and before you reached the seventy-fifth, he was already back, his face flushed from the heat of the bar, his hair even wilder than earlier from the sweat and the humidity, a dusty footprint on his right shoe where someone must’ve accidentally stepped on him.

“I was expecting to have to convince them to let you go with me, but they were all alright with it,” he said, carefully taking your hand and leading you in the direction of the apartment.

“Sure they were,” you said, tripping over a loose stone, only avoiding face-planting because Tabito caught you with the reflexes of an athlete. “It’s because I talk about you so much.”

“Do you?” he said.

“Totally,” you said with a yawn. “All of my friends know about you and your soccer and your studies. I’m just soooo proud of you, so I mention it whenever you do something cool. Isn’t that what a normal elder-sister-figure would do?”

“Yayoi doesn’t,” he said.

“Yayoi is Yayoi,” you said.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” he said. “And it doesn’t change what I said.”

“Can you carry me?” you said when you almost stumbled and fell for the second time. “Tabito, it’s hard to walk, so can I please ride on your back the rest of the way?”

He exhaled but crouched, beckoning you forward. “If you really want.”

“Yay!” you said, leaping onto his broad back and clinging to his neck, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as he supported you while continuing to walk. “You’re so big now. When did that happen? Have you always been like this? It’s almost as if you’re nearer to being a man than a child, but that’s impossible. You’re still young, aren’t you?”

“It’s not impossible; in fact, it’s the truth,” he said. “If only you ever looked at me and saw me for who I am, you’d have realized I’ve been like this for quite a while now.”

“What do you mean?” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes, allowing the rhythm of his walk to lull you into a trance.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Forget about it. We’re almost there. Are your keys in your purse?”

“Yup,” you said. “D’you want them now?”

“I’ll get them from you once we’re at the door,” he said. “Good thing you don’t have a roommate; I’m sure they’d be pissed off by you coming back so late, drunk out of your mind and with a random guy in tow.”

“You’re not a random guy,” you said, dropping the key to the complex in his waiting hand once the two of you reached the glass gate to the building. “If I had a roommate, they’d definitely know who you are. How could they not? You’re my Tabito.”

“Since when I have been your Tabito?” he said, unlocking the door and flicking your chin up playfully before returning his hand to holding up your leg. “I don’t think that I am.”

“Since always,” you said.

“Really? And does that mean you’re my Y/N?” he said, bending down so you could press the elevator button to take you to your floor.

“Yes,” you said. “For six years I did not know it, but ever since then I have been yours.”

“Well,” he said. “Is that how it is?”

“It is,” you said. He switched the lights in your apartment on and deposited you on the couch, heading to your kitchen and filling up a glass with water. Handing it to you, he sat at your side, bringing it to your lips so you could drink, not taking it away until you had drained the cup.

“Feeling better?” he said. “I’ll get you some crackers to eat.”

“Much better,” you said, chewing on the crackers while laying your head on his shoulder. “My stomach isn’t so queasy, and my vision is a lot more straight.”

“You’re talking more normally, too,” he noted. “At least, you sound a bit comprehensible. Want more water?”

“No,” you said. “I’m sleepy. Can we go to sleep now?”

“Here?” he said. “How about you change into your pajamas and wash your face first?”

“I’m too tired,” you said, yawning yet again to emphasize the point, nuzzling your face against the curve of his neck, your eyelashes crushing against his throat. “You’re so comfortable.”

“Thank you,” he said, patting you atop the head. “But you’ll feel horrible tomorrow morning if you don’t get in bed properly.”

“I’ll feel horrible either way,” you said. “I can’t do anything. We were partying for so long, and now I’m exhausted.”

“That’s true, but you’ll feel worse if you sleep here instead of in your room,” he said. “How about I help you?”

“You’ll help me?” you said.

“If you change your clothes, I’ll do everything else,” he promised, gently pushing you off of him and then standing so he could help you to your feet. “I just don’t want you to feel sick tomorrow, be all cramped up from sleeping in a weird spot, and get a break out on top of that.”

“I guess that’s fine,” you said with a dramatic exhale. “You’re so…so…what’s the word? You’re so persistent. Stubborn. Something like that.”

“People say that a lot,” he said.

“They call you an asshole a lot, too,” you said. “All of the time.”

“Yes,” he said, walking with you to your room, where your pajamas were folded at the foot of your bed. “I think I am one, at least a little bit. It’s impossible for me to be otherwise around mediocre people. I try to fix it, but it’s hard, you know.”

“I don’t think you are,” you said. “You’re the nicest person in the whole entire world. If you were an asshole, you wouldn’t treat me the way you do, but you do, which means you aren’t.”

“That’s because you’re special,” he said after a pause. “To me. And also in general.”

“What do you mean by that?” you said, but when you turned around, he had shut the door between you two, allowing you to change your clothes and him to avoid the question.

Only the thought of disappointing Tabito was enough to convince you to not collapse onto your inviting bed. Instead, you trudged towards the door, opening it and pouting at him, trying to beg with your eyes for him to allow you to go to sleep.

“Good job,” he said, ignoring your silent pleas and dragging you to the bathroom, where he sat you down on the edge of the bathtub. “Is this your makeup remover?”

He showed you the little tub of cold cream you kept next to your sink. You mumbled something generally affirmative, and he unscrewed it, kneeling beside you and massaging it onto your face, paying extra attention to your eyes, which was where most of your makeup was concentrated.

“Who taught you about all of this stuff?” you said, your eyes screwed shut as he used a clean, wet washcloth to remove the cleanser from your skin. “Do you have a secret girlfriend?”

“No girlfriends, secret or otherwise,” he said. “It’s all stuff Yayoi made me learn on pain of death. She refused to have a brother who didn’t know anything about proper skincare. It’s not like I do it all that much, but I’m aware of it thanks to her.”

“You’ve really never had a girlfriend?” you said. You supposed you had always been aware of that, but you had never really comprehended what it meant. How could it be that Tabito Karasu of all people had never even gone on a date?

“Nope,” he said. “Can I use this moisturizer on you? I’m sure you have a better routine normally, but it’ll probably be for the best if we skip steps for the sake of getting this done quickly.”

You cracked your eyes open and then nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. Why?”

“Why what?” he said. The lotion was cold at first, but the circular motions of his fingers on your cheeks warmed it quickly enough that you didn’t even have time to be shocked by the temperature. It was soothing, a tingly sensation washing over you as he worked.

“Why haven’t you had a girlfriend?” you said, his fingertips gliding over your forehead.

“I guess I haven’t found the right person yet,” he said. “Or, no, that’s not it. I have found them. I found them a long time ago, but I don’t — I don’t think they wanted to be found. Not by me.”

“That can’t be true,” you said. “What kind of person wouldn’t want you? Who are you talking about, anyways?”

His thumb swiped over your lips, once and then twice, before coming to rest where they slightly parted. You waited, thinking he might move it, but he did not.

“What will it take?” he said. “For you to stop thinking of me as a child. What more can I do? Name it and I will. If it means you’ll stop thinking of me as your little brother, then I’ll do anything.”

“How else would I think of you?” you said. “You are like my—”

“Please,” he said, and it had been so very many years since you had heard him so distraught that you quieted immediately. “Please stop it. I don’t think of you like that, I don’t love you like that, so please stop it.”

Before you could respond, his mouth replaced his thumb against your own, and he was kissing you, cradling your head in his hands, his ardor winning out over his inexperience as he tried to impress upon you just how much he had wanted you, and for how long.

Unfathomably and without even realizing, you found yourself kissing him back, enjoying every demand he made of you and responding to them each in kind. Your hands wound around his neck and tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging on the silky, feathery strands, drawing a small whimper out of him as he wedged himself impossibly closer to you. Yet the sound broke you out of whatever daze you had fallen into, so, with a gasp, you ripped yourself away from him, resting your forehead at the dip of his collarbone as you tried to catch your breath.

“No,” you said. “No, I shouldn’t have — we shouldn’t have — you have to go.”

“Why not?” he said. “You said you shouldn’t have, but you did. Why do you wish you hadn’t?”

“You have to leave,” you said, and then you were crying again, soaking his shirt with your tears as the weight of what you had done began to smother you.

“Let go of me first,” he said. Your fingers, still in his hair, flexed but did not loosen. “Y/N. If you really want me to go, I’ll go, but you have to — you have to let go of me first. You have to be the one to do it.”

You wept harder, because you did not know how to let go of him, because you could not fathom doing it, but neither did you want him to let you go first. It was shameful and wrong, but the truth was that, more than anything, you wished for him to stay, to blot away your tears and lay you in your bed so you could sleep the entire night away.

Somehow, you found the strength in you to yank yourself away from him, all in one go. The moment they left him, it was as if your fingertips themselves mourned, aching to return to their rightful place, but instead of obliging, you used them to cover your eyes. Anything to avoid looking at him. Anything to avoid seeing the anguished expression that most certainly marred his features. Anything to avoid knowing that you were the one who had caused it.

You didn’t look up again until you heard the front door close, and then it was all you could do to turn off the bathroom lights and make it to your bed, crashing into the pillows and somehow managing to fall asleep.

As soon as Yayoi was feeling back to her usual self, you sent her a cryptic text essentially commanding her to meet you at your usual spot for food whenever she could. Thankfully, she recognized when you were having an actual problem versus when you just missed her, and she told you she was free that very evening, so you didn’t have to simmer in your thoughts for any longer than you already had.

“Your brother kissed me,” you said when you sat down across from her.

“Hello to you, too,” she said, closing her menu and setting it to the side. She had only even looked at it as a formality; both of you ordered the same thing every time, so opening the menu was meaningless at this point.

“Hello, Yayoi,” you said. “Tabito kissed me.”

“That’s what you wanted to talk about?” she guessed.

“Yes,” you said. “It happened the other night. I would’ve called you earlier, but you were sick, so I didn’t want to.”

“Alright. It’s a little awkward for me, considering he’s my brother and all, but I’ll set aside my biases and do my best. How do you feel right now?”

“I have no idea. How do you feel?” you said, perplexed by the lack of reaction she was displaying.

“Why would I feel anything?” she said.

“Because? Your best friend just told you that your little brother kissed her? Aren’t you mad?” you said.

“Not really,” she said. “I’m surprised it took him this long, honestly. Everyone knows he’s been in love with you for ages.”

“Everyone?” you said.

“Everyone,” she agreed. “Most of our friends, all of my family, both of your parents…he hasn’t really tried too hard to hide it. I’m pretty sure most of them think you like him, too, but I don’t want to make assumptions, which is why I’m asking you how you feel about it all.”

“How did I miss it?” you said. “I didn’t realize right up until — well, you know — that he liked me, let alone for so long.”

“Sometimes people only see what they think they see,” she said. “You thought Tabito would never like you, so that’s what you believed. But he could, and he did. Now what?”

“Now nothing!” you said. “What am I supposed to do, date him? That’s just wrong!”

“Why is it wrong?” she said. “By the way, I’m not all too invested in any particular outcome, just as long as you’re happy, so don’t think I’m trying to steer you towards any specific path. I just want you to be fully honest with yourself before you jump to making decisions about any of this.”

“Thanks,” you said. “Okay, well, first off, he’s your — you, as in my best friend — little brother.”

“Not yours, though,” she said.

“But as good as,” you said.

“I wouldn’t say so. You’ve never treated him like a sibling,” she said. “That’s not to say you don’t care about him, but it’s in a different way than a sister would.”

“He’s also younger than me,” you said.

“Yukimiya’s younger than I am, and we’re perfectly happy. Plus, you were the first to say that there weren’t any issues with that, so why’s it a problem now?” she said, raising an eyebrow at you.

“But that’s — that’s different! You met him only recently. I’ve known Tabito since we were little kids! Doesn’t that make it weird?” you said.

“People get married to their childhood friends all of the time. It’s not that unusual,” Yayoi said. “Is there anything else?”

“No, it’s just strange, that’s all!” you said. “You seriously don’t find it even a little odd?”

“I’ve had a lot longer to adjust to it than you have,” she said with a shrug, sipping on the soda she had ordered with her meal. “Let’s approach this in a different way. What about if you both were the same age, and you met later in life? In a university lecture or something. If that was the case, and he asked you out, would you say yes?”

“Absolutely,” you said without hesitation. “That was a stupid question. Who would say no? He’s smart, he’s good at pretty much everything, he’s sweet and funny and caring; additionally, from an objective standpoint, he’s incredibly attractive. I’d do everything I could to keep him if he happened to glance my way.”

“Even if he ended up being younger than you?” Yayoi said.

“Yes,” you said. “Yes, I — oh.”

She gave you a dull look. “Just so you know, that is not a sisterly way to view a guy.”

“I got that,” you said.

“Do you think maybe it’s possible that you’ve loved him too, almost the entire time?” she said. “Maybe even before you understood what it meant to love someone else? Back when sibling was the closest relationship to another kid that you, as an only child, could conceive of?”

“I guess that that — that’s definitely a possibility,” you said.

“It could be,” she said. “And then the notion of him being your ‘brother’ became so set in your mind that you couldn’t possibly think of him as anything else.”

“There’s a chance that that was what happened,” you said slowly. “But I don’t feel what I did for Aoyama when I look at Tabito. It’s something else entirely.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t love Tabito,” Yayoi said, flagging down the waiter so you could pay for your food. “It just means you didn’t love Aoyama, or didn’t love him as much. Considering which one is still in your life and which one you haven’t spoken to in years, it’s not unlikely.”

“What do I do now, then?” you said.

“What do you want to do?” she said as the two of you exited the restaurant. “I’ll be your friend no matter what. In the end, it’s up to you.”

“I don’t want to lose him,” you said, suddenly terrified. “I won’t survive if I do. Yayoi, I don’t…”

“You can’t,” she reassured you. “If you haven’t lost him yet, then I don’t think it’s possible for you to. But you know, then, right? What’s next?”

“I do,” you said, taking out your phone and picking up speed, veering in a different direction, turning over your shoulder to shout back at her. “Thank you, Yayoi!”

“Good luck!” she shouted back as you took off at a run, holding your phone up to your ear.

“Otoya,” you said breathlessly, as soon as he picked up. “Otoya, is Tabito there?”

“Uh, Y/N? Yeah, Karasu’s cooking dinner, why?” he said. “You good?”

“I’m coming over,” you said. “Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere, and buzz me in when I get there. This is me calling in that favor you owe me, so do a good fucking job at it, okay?”

“Sure, I can, but why don’t you just ask him to do it directly?” he said.

“I don’t think he’ll pick up if I call him at the moment,” you said.

“Trouble in paradise? This is why I don’t do the whole ‘commitment’ gig. Too many complications,” Otoya said with a scoff. “Fine, I’ll help you, but only because — like you said — I owe you one, and because I’m going to evacuate the apartment as soon as you get here so I’m not caught in the crossfire.”

“Thank you,” you said. “That’s perfect. You rock.”

“Yup, you got it. See you.”

The elevator took too long, so after waiting for thirty seconds, you gave up and went for the stairs, taking them two at a time until you reached the floor that Tabito and Otoya lived on. Then you knocked on the door, waiting with crossed arms until it swung open and revealed Otoya, dressed in a pair of rubber-ducky boxers and nothing more.

“Well, that’s my cue,” he said when he saw it was you.

“Where are you even going to go, dressed like that?” you said, momentarily distracted by the outfit, which was all but offensive to the eye. Otoya winked at you.

“There’s plenty of people in this complex that would welcome me dressed like this,” he said, walking out with a devilish grin. “I’ll go see one of them.”

“You have fun,” you said, unable to do anything but shake your head at the rakish response.

“I definitely will. You…do your best with Karasu. He’s been kinda down, so it’d be great if you could fix him right up again, because his pasta tastes shitty when he’s in a bad mood,” he said, saluting at you before vanishing into the closing elevator.

“Who was at the door?” Tabito said. He wore the pale green apron with white polka dots you had loaned him and never asked for back, and there was a wooden spoon in his right hand, which he used to stir a pot of sauce. “Hello? Otoya? Was it one of your exes again or something? Dude, you’ve gotta stop giving them our address, this is the third time this month that some girl has come to harass you.”

You were still for a moment, standing in the doorway, watching the muscles of his back tighten and then relax as he finished mixing the sauce, setting the spoon down on its stand and putting the lid back on the pot.

“Damn, silent treatment? Was it that bad? It’s your own fault, you dumbass,” he said. “It’s not like I tell you to bring them over. You do that all on your own, and these are the consequences you face as a result. Don’t blame me for it.”

What would you even tell him? He turned the stove to simmer, and you opened your mouth before closing it. You had no idea what to say. You had no idea what was even going on in your mind — you had left Yayoi with such an urgency that you hadn’t had the time to organize your thoughts as you would’ve liked to before such an important moment.

He turned around while untying his apron, his mouth curved into a sneer as he prepared to taunt who he must’ve thought was Otoya messing with him. Yet when he realized it was you, his face fell, as if just by standing there you had reprimanded him harshly.

“Y/N,” he said. You wondered how he could do it, how he could bear to still say your name with the same affection as always. Why hadn’t he left you? Why hadn’t he given up a long time ago? What had you ever done to be worthy of this kind of loyalty? What had you ever done to deserve a person like him?

A lump swelled in your throat, and the harder you tried to swallow it down, the more your eyesight prickled and blurred, until you could hardly see anything at all. For a second you were frozen, and then vaguely you were aware of him taking a step towards you and your inhibitions were lost entirely.

Crossing the expanse of the small kitchen and casting yourself into his embrace, you clung to his neck, crying in earnest when he held onto you as if by instinct, because the way he clutched your waist felt like coming home. He felt like coming home. He felt like butterflies in the spring and leaves in the fall and ice cream in the summer and storms in the winter and every other little thing from your life which you could only ever associate with him.

“I love you,” you said. “I’m sorry, I love you, I love you so much I didn’t even realize it but I do now, I do, and I can finally see that I love you more than anything or anyone, Tabito, so please still love me back, please—”

“Shh,” he murmured, one of his hands moving up and down your back. “Don’t cry. There’s no reason to cry. Y/N, Y/N, don’t cry, I hate it when you cry.”

“I’m sorry,” you said again. “I was such a fool. I didn’t comprehend it, any of it, because I’ve loved you since before I understood what the word love meant.”

He kissed your forehead, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, over and over until your tears abated, and only then did he speak.

“I’ve loved you for longer,” he said. “I loved you before I even knew you.”

“And do you still?” you said.

“Yes,” he said. “I couldn’t stop so quickly.”

“Don’t ever stop,” you said. “But if you do, if you must, then keep it to yourself. I want to at least imagine that you’ll keep loving me for — for a long time.

“Oh, Y/N,” he said. “You don’t have to imagine that. I’ll love you forever if you want it.”

“I do,” you said. “I do want it.”

His lips ghosted along your temple as he smiled. Then, right before they fit against your own, he murmured: “Then that’s what I’ll do.”

Though you had neither reason nor proof, you found that, wholeheartedly and fully, with all that you were, you believed him.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen - im a college student who has known i like girls since i was a kid but i still can't pick up the courage to tell my parents. they're not virulently homophobic or anything and i know for a 100% fact that they love me unconditionally, but i also know they'd be much happier if i was straight. they're older and the culture they were raised in just doesn't really understand or accommodate anything else, though they are always respectful towards lgbt people they know.

i am completely secure in the knowledge that they love me so much they'd come to an understanding of it eventually, but i know at least at first it would cause a lot of turmoil and worry for them and a lot of really uncomfortable questions and explanations for me.

i know i can't keep it a secret forever and i don't want to live a lie all my life to the people i love and value most. and i know they wouldn't want that for me either. but the thought of sitting them down and telling them is the most terrifying thing in the world. i just can't do it. i'm too scared to rock the boat. do you have any advice?

I was in a very similar situation when I was your age. I was pretty sure they would continue to love and support me but also knew mom would be sad and worried and I wondered if dad would feel hurt. I waited until after college when I had a job that provided a living wage, health insurance and stability without their financial help. I made dinner plans with them and showed up with Chinese take out from Dad's favorite place. We sat down and I could immediately feel my ears burning and my face get hot. I looked over at them from behind the giant glass of milk mom poured each of us and realized I was in my "childhood" seat and they were in the same spot as always except now I was 23. They clearly saw me as the "baby" still. I was the youngest, probably the easiest kid to raise. I did my homework, did my chores and played without them entertaining me.

Immediately the worst case scenario ran through my head. "what if they kick me out", "what if they yell" "what if they tell me I am bad or gross or just mistaken". I had to really push all that aside at look at them as the mom and dad who had always been there for me. I reminded myself that I had my friend group, my sister, my best friend on my side and I would be okay. BUT loosing mom and dad would be horrible. I remember my exact words "Mom, Dad, Jen (my girlfriend at the time) is not just my friend. I am gay and we are together. Mom started crying and Dad looked at her surprised. "Doris. We already knew this" and she said "I know but it just means life is going to be harder for her. At that point my dad responded with words that chanced my life. He said "This is Jippy (my nickname) we are talking about. She will be just fine".

I guess my point is they might say some dumb stuff, ask stupid or even mean sounding questions but give them the benefit of the doubt that it comes from love. They don't need to understand to love you but bonus points to them if they want to or try to understand more by asking or having a conversation. It is okay for you and for them to set boundaries. They might ask for a head up before you bring a girlfriend to dinner or they might request no physical affection until they can process. Give them the grace to work through things. You have been thinking about this for years. They might have just had their entire life plan / dream for you upended. OR most likely they knew it already but hearing it confirmed can be hard.

Don't take abuse or bullying. You can also set your boundaries. Be prepared to be independent but allow them mistakes and missteps without harsh consequences if you sense they are trying.

You can start the conversation with "i love you and you both mean a lot to me so I want to be honest with you about something important to me. I am a lesbian. Let them know they are important and you trust them right up front.

I hope this helps and keep in mind, You don't HAVE to tell them until you are ready .

[luv4georgie]

i bet on losing dogs.

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

in which formula one star, Max Verstappen, and his girlfriend, Y/n L/n, decide to trauma dump on each-other instead of bottling it up for years.

bit of a reflection because i don’t know who to talk to my past about and all of this (from readers POV) is 1000% accurate so enjoy my sad childhood

warnings: trauma dump, @buse, manipulative mother, traumatic childhood

prompt list

“tell your baby, that i’m your baby.”

it was a normal Saturday for everyone else, but for Y/n and Max it was filled with trust, honesty and betrayal. i know you’re thinking ‘what a funny mix of words!’. true. but here’s what happened that night.

-

it was winter/new years break for the world of Formula 1 and Max had just won his 3rd championship. Max and Y/n were thrilled of course, and the night of his championship was filled with a-lot of lust, if you know what i mean. it was a few weeks later and the couple lay soundly in their bed. Max was stroking Y/n’s hair and face and she fumbled with his fingers. they can’t remember where it first started but somehow they begun talking about their pasts. very traumatic to say the least. Max started with his. talking about the times when his father would get exceedingly angry at Max and the one time he left him at the gas station.

then it moved on to Y/n. she was scared to talk about it and almost backed out. but she knew max wouldn’t tell a soul. it started with when she was 5. “when i was 5 my mother was heavily pregnant with my younger brother. because my parents divorced a few months prior me and my older brother and sister went to my dads. one day my mum really didn’t want me to go to his and when he came to pick me up they were physically fighting over me.” she chuckled. “my dad had me by one arm and my mum had me by the other and were pulling me towards each-other. it was like one of those comedy films” she laughed but Max didn’t. “they were fighting and screaming over me on the drive way. i was scared but i got to my dads fine. a few months later i was at my mums and my younger brother had been born. i was upstairs playing with my monster high dolls and my mum was also upstairs, supposed to be looking after my brother. my older siblings were at my dads at the time. the gate at the top of the stairs wasn’t shut properly and my brother had crawled out of my mum’s room whilst she was watching TV.” Y/n’s face twisted with slight horror and sadness. “H-he fell down the stairs and i heard his cries and large thumps so i ran out my room to see what was going on, hoping my mother hadn’t of hit him. when i saw him lying at the bottom of the stairs i ran down and picked him up, i was struggling since i was only little, and i heard my mum follow me shortly after. she grabbed him from my arms and put him on the couch. thankfully he didn’t break anything or cut himself. i stared at my mum as she stormed towards me. she grabbed me by the arm and got up in my face shouting out about how it was my fault.” Y/n paused, tears welling up in her eyes as she remembered the horrific moment. “then she through me against the radiator. i was crying and scared not knowing why she did it. but i accepted it and let her be angry. the next day i woke up and she came and gave me a kiss. i was confused because i cried myself to sleep thinking she didn’t like me.”

Y/n finished her story with a tear going across her nose bridge due to her lying down and Max was surprised. they hugged all throughout that night sharing kisses and praises between each-other. they were the same, yet they were so different. alas, they were in love.

-

sorry it’s so short. i just wanted to put something out here because i don’t want to not be posting anymore. i do NOT support anything that has happened in this fic and do not condone it. hope you all have a beautiful day or night. love you so much ❤️

[starsfic]

AITA for calling my SIL a bitch?

For context, I(NB) married my husband(M, who I'll call N) after a while of knowing each other, but a very short romantic relationship. He is the middle child of five, between his sibling (NB, the SL of the title), a brother(M, called K) and then a sister(F, called H) and brother(M/NB, called L).

None of them are related by blood, but all's parents were part of some secret society that decided to murder their children. SIL escaped and managed to save the other four before calling the cops. That's not important. What is important is that they started a company together, and it is quite big. The other three have their own side careers, but SIL and N's life is this company. As a result of that, they are quite close, with N freely admitting that SIL is his favorite sibling.

However, N decided to start his own company, based on a few ideas he had about running the main company. I was one of the first hires, which is how we met. And while it's still fairly young, it is rising rather quickly, to the point that it has stolen some clients from the main.

N has apologized for this, but over the years, there has been a noticeable distance between him and his siblings. N has told me that it felt like this for much longer, with K terrified when N developed a childhood interest of becoming a mortician.

One of the things is a party to celebrate the day that SIL was awarded the adoption of the other four. It is rarely the actual anniversary, but a day close to it, due to everyone's schedules. In recent years, N has felt like he has been deliberately kept from joining, with the party scheduled some time he couldn't make it. I have heard him have to turn it down, and he always sounds so sad, even when SIL offers a private dinner afterwards to celebrate. He keeps a stiff upper lip in public, but I have found him crying in private.

To add more, SIL and I have never really gotten along. N suspects this is because of two things: 1. SIL and I are rather alike, sharing a manipulative streak and a hunger for power(yes I will admit to this) and 2. N is also SIL's favorite. He was the first they saved and SIL raised him from a baby. SIL thus feels a possessiveness over N, to the point to where they actually tried to bribe me into leaving him when we announced our engagement.

Now, this year, I suggested that we have a company party to celebrate the anniversary of our company. N agreed and even suggested that we include a wedding part, since most of the staff couldn't attend our wedding. I agreed.

And then the invitation to the adoption anniversary came and N turned it down, since we will be busy getting things ready for our party, and did so rather quickly becausehe had a meeting to attend. The fact that he sounded happy about it and then just hung up I think threw SIL off, because they called me to understand.

The adoption anniversary party has been scheduled at a time N could make. We would only be looking at a few party venues that morning. I explained, however, that we had made plans that day to work on other things, so we would be busy.

SIL got annoyed and pointed out that it had taken so much lifting to find a time that N could make. I pushed back with the fact. that the effort had not been made before and we ended up having a loud argument about it.

(It was loud enough that security ended up being called because someone on the lower level thought I was being attacked.) There was a lot of accusations thrown at screaming level and I think SIL was actually upset- they don't yell, they think it's a waste of oxygen.

And then I called them a bitch.

Now, I have called SIL a bitch. In private, with just N or his sons and his friend. I have called them a bitch around their own siblings, when they won't tell SIL what I said. I know they call me insults in private as well. However, we have never actually insulted each other in conversation before. It feels like a line.

They went quiet and I think I panicked.

I ended up hanging up and texting N.

By the time we got home, we had been bombarded with calls and texts. The other three had been informed. It was a range of insults towards us and pleadings to please talk, with SIL only trying to reach out twice to N. Once in a text, the second in a voicemail, both rather calm, except in the voicemail, it sounded like they had been crying. Not because of the insult, but of some other stuff I said about their dynamics.

N thinks I responded naturally. He is not the biggest fan of the fact that I insulted them, but he thinks they had it coming, with the party and everything else, even the attempted bribery. As he stated:

"I expect one day that I will open the news to find out that one of you murdered the other and set the entire city on fire to do so." Also, "Yes, of course I would bail you out if you did."

I don't know how to feel.

[camilla-mikaelson]

My Twilight DR!

PLS NOTE I'M STILL WORKING ON IT BUT THIS IS ALL I HAVE SO FAR!!

My Name: Sophie Swan.

Age: 18.

Species: Human to Siren.

Birthday: December 15th, 1986.

Skills / Hobbies: Baking, and Danicng.

Family:

The Swan's: My Adoptive Family.

I’m the older adoptive sister of Bella Swan. I was about two months old when Charlie and Renee adopted me. It was a very normal-ish childhood.

I've always had a necklace with me since I was a baby. It's a silver chain with a pink amethyst. I always thought Renee or Charlie had given me it. (But eventually I find out that it's from my birth mother. She had a witch spell it to keep my mermaid side from coming out.)

Although Renee doesn’t really like me cause she always wanted to have a boy and a girl but instead got stuck with two girls. She also didn't like that I was 17 when I had Jaxson. He's about six-months-old from where I'm shifting.

I’ve always been way closer to Charlie to be honest. I always wanted to live with Charlie but Renee insisted I stay with Bella.

But unlike Bella I visited Charlie every single summer up until we move to Forks.

Me and Bella have a love hate relationship. We're complete polar opposites which makes it hard for us to bond over quite literally anything. Plus I think she's been told things from Renee making her kinda resent me.

It doesn't help that the Cullens automatically click with me unlike they did with her.

The Quinnell's: My Biological Family.

My biological sister is actually one of the Cullens. Her names Iris Cullen she’s the youngest Cullen as she was only turned a couple years before I moved to forks and was taken in by the Cullens. She’s Emmett’s Mate.

I don't find out she's my sister until about half way through the school year. I only find out after I found out their vampires. I think it's a lot of shock to me.

I don't believe them at first. Not about the Vampire part but the sibling part.

But eventually I accept it and me and Iris become extremely close. Thankfully Jaxson got attached to her too fairly quickly.

Me and Iris don't go hunting for our parents until after the "battle". But when we do everyone's in full support in it. We end up finding out that our mother is Queen of the Sea named Aurora Hart-Quinnell. While our dad is a Vampire named Oliver Quinnell.

Aurora Hart is the queen of the sea. She is a mermaid queen who lives on the land. She goes back and forth between the kingdom and the house she lives on land.

While Oliver Quinnell is the Prince of Vampires. (Way before the Volturi became a thing.) He ruled for many many years before the Volturi overpowered him forcing him to step down. The Volturi took over because they found out about the affair between Oliver and Aurora.

Once the Volturi took over they made it their mission to try to destroy the mermaid kingdom. That's all happening as Aurora finds out she's pregnant with Twins.

That's the reason they had put us up for adoption because there was a war brewing between the two kingdoms/species. They thought we'd have the best luck at life far away from them and the kingdoms.

They also knew we'd find them eventually when the time was right. Thankfully we did. After the war our parents ended up getting married and they we're slowly trying to combine the two kingdoms.

My S/O:

My S/O or in this case my mate in my DR is Pansy Cullen.

Me and her meet on my first day at Forks and even though she was hesitant me and her instantly clicked becoming friends.

Eventually after a few days I introduce her to Jaxson and she instantly falls in love with him. And then by October me and Pansy we're together.

I found out she's a vampire around mid September. At first I didn't know how to feel but eventually I knew that if she wanted to hurt me she had plenty of chances to do so before and she didn't.

Unlike Edward and Bella me and Pansy don't break up one time once we get together. That was because I got turned into a vampire before they went to Alaska so me and Jaxson got to go to Alaska with them. (Yes we ditched Bella.)

Alaska was amazing though we had a lot of firsts with Jaxson. He got to see his first snow. And got to help put the tree up.

Carlisle and Esme had given me and Pansy an ornament with me, her, and Jaxson together with the year 2005 a crossed it.

We eventually get marries but I never like scripting proposals or anything like that because I like letting that part happen by itself. (But I might script it I don’t know yet if I do I’ll make a post about it!)

Species in my DR:

There's six main species in my DR not including Humans.

Vampires:

They don’t shine or burn in the sun. (The suns just very uncomfortable.)

They can sleep.

Their hair grows.

They can eat human food.

They stay a live as long as they have some type of blood. (Rather that be animal or human.)

In order to turn into a vampire you have to be injected with venom from one.

Steak to the heart is the only way to kill them!

They can heal humans with their blood but most of the time they don’t. Vampire blood can give a human temporary vampire abilities. Also having to much vampire blood can make them trip out making it seem like their drunk.

They’re not marble they’re skin is as normal as a humans just slightly paler.

They can compel humans.

They have fangs but they only show when they feed.

Werewolfs:

Becoming a werewolf is mainly hereditary but in some cases it's caused by a curse.

They can turn whenever they want.

They have a peace treaty with just about every species besides human because humans don't know they exist. (Yet.)

They can be really powerful and closed off to others.

They're extremely warm.

Mermaids:

There's two different types. One type chooses to live solely in the ocean. Where as the second type goes back and forth.

They can all go on land whenever they please though!

Their hair grows rarely quickly.

They can eat human food.

They stay a live as long as they have some type of blood. (Rather that be animal or human.).

Being a Mermaid is only hereditary.

Unlike most theories they're immortality.

Only a witch could actually fully kill them. Unless the king/queen kills them! So basically they can only die by the king/queen or the witches.

Most Mermaids and witches are best friends.

Sirens:

Sirens are hybrids. They're half Vampire Half Mermaid.

They can stay either on land or in the ocean.

Sirens are only born! They are not made. But they only show their vampire side if they were to get bit. (It's kinda confusing but think of how Tyler Lockwood from The Vampire Diaries only triggered his werewolf genes if he killed someone. Basically the same thing but instead of killing to trigger it you have to be bitten.)

They're very rare as Mermaids and Vampires don't really ever cross paths.

They stay alive as long as they have some type of blood. (Rather that be animal or human.) And they go into the water for a couples days each week.

They only way to not show a mermaid side is to have a witch make a certain necklace stopping the transformation from happening.

The transformation can hurt at first but sometimes it doesn't

Steak to the heart is the only way to kill them!

Since they're half vampire they can heal humans with their blood but most of the time they don’t. Vampire blood can give a human temporary vampire abilities. Also having to much vampire blood can make them trip out making it seem like their drunk.

They can compel humans. Either by having them look into their eyes and demanding them or by just their voice.

They have fangs but they only show when they feed.

Fairies:

They live within the forests.

They aren't really small unless they're flying then all the are is a speck of light.

Most of them are pure evil. There some good ones though.

If you go into a forest and run into one don't say 'thank you'. They'll think you owe them something and we'll be forced to do as many tasks for them as they please.

They love pranking humans. Like they live for that.

They only trust the witches.

They are not immortal but they live in large groups so if you kill one of them you'll have the whole group onto you!

They can heal humans but the choose not too.

They can compel humans.

Most come into town and they live like normal people but they don't at the same time.

Witches:

They're mainly friends with only the fairies and mermaids.

They can do spells for just literally everything.

They love nature as most of them use it for their potions and spells.

They can help Vampires with the sun being uncomfortable but the usually don't. They don't really trust vampires that includes Sirens.

Being a witch can be learned but it's mostly Hereditary.

Some actually have wands but most the time it's rare.

They live all around humans, the humans just don't realize it.

If you have any questions please ask I'll gladly answer them!

[apomaro-mellow]

Two in the Bush 5

Part 4

Eddie:

Doesn’t take care of his hair

Daddy issues

Hasn’t talked to dad in years

Billy:

Daddy issues

Never worked anywhere longer than a year

Anger issues

Doesn’t talk to sister

“I don’t get how we both have daddy issues but I have to reach out to my old man?”, Eddie groaned.

The two alphas had reconvened a few days later at the bar Billy worked at. It was 11 am, so it was basically empty. Eddie sat at the bar while Billy cleaned some glasses.

“Well, did your old man ever beat you black and blue?”, Billy asked.

“No, just made me help him steal cars”, Eddie answered. “Still a shitty guy though. He’s locked up not too far from here.”

“Then bleeding heart Stevie probably wants you to reconcile with the guy.” 

Eddie groaned and dropped his head onto the bar. “He smelled good, didn’t he?”, he said, voice muffled.

“He smelled like mine”, Billy said.

That got Eddie to look up. “He smelled like mine.”

They glared at each other and were at a stalemate for a long moment. Another alpha was trying to move in on their omega. Their pregnant omega. 

“What happens when we find out it’s mine?”, Billy asked. “Are you gonna bow out or are we gonna fight about it?”

“I’m not letting Steve go”, Eddie said. “Even if that pup’s not mine. What about you? You really just gonna leave him alone if the pup’s not yours?”

Billy didn’t like entertaining the thought that it might not be his. He wasn’t like, super gone on Steve or anything, but he hadn’t finished having fun with him yet. And there was no reason for an incoming baby to get in the way of that, he thought.

“It’s mine”, was all Billy said.

“Yeah, well, that’s neither here nor there. Steve made it clear. Work on ourselves or be banished from his loins for good. And contacting our estranged families seems like a good place to start.”

Steve had gone about a month without hearing anything from either alpha. Part of him was a little disappointed. But mostly this was what he had expected. It was hard to change and he didn’t think himself or his pup important enough to get them to do so. He didn’t need some half-assed help from some alpha. He had Robin to rub his back through his morning sickness. 

He was currently lounging on the couch, feeling his belly. He couldn’t actually tell if he was showing yet or if that was just the crap ton of pasta he’d just eaten. He’s going to believe it’s his baby for now.

“It’s you, me, and Auntie Robin my lil jellybean”, he giggled to himself. 

And that was when the doorbell rang. He got up and to his surprise, there was Billy and Steve. They both looked incredibly proud of themselves.

“Boom!”, Eddie held up a polaroid of himself sitting at a table with a man who looked a lot like him on the other side. “I’ve been visiting my dad in prison once a week.”

“And?”, Steve asked.

“He’s been working on his GED, actually”, Eddie said, stuffing the photo into his pocket. “He even apologized when he first saw me. For a lot of stuff.”

“And why are you here?”, Steve pointed the question to Billy.

“I took the photo.” He glared at Eddie when the other man nudged him without a hint of subtlety. “And uh, here”, he took out his own picture. In it, he and a young woman stared at the camera. Well, glowered was more like it. They didn’t look alike at all except for the identical scowls on their faces. 

“Is that your stepsister?”, Steve asked.

“Yeah”, Billy said. “I tracked her down and found out she’s not too far from here. And that she’s kinda badass.”

Steve was taken aback. “You two…you’re really working on that list?”

“It’s for the pup”, Billy said.

“And you were right about the stuff on the list”, Eddie said. “I’m glad I gave my dad a chance. Feels better already than just remembering him as some asshole who never cared about me.”

“Max was surprisingly easy to talk to”, Billy admitted. “I thought she’d want nothing to do with me since our childhood, but she was like, almost happy to hear from me.”

Steve snickered. “You both looked miserable though.”

“Because this clown cracked some lame joke trying to get us to smile for the camera”, Billy shoved Eddie, almost knocking the other guy off of Steve’s porch.

Steve didn’t want to get his hopes up that he had two whole men willing to turn their lives around just for him. But his hormones didn’t get the message and tears began to prick his eyes. He sniffed, trying to hold them back and he appreciated neither of them pointing it out.

“Okay”, he nodded. “Okay. Um, do you guys wanna come in? Robin will be back soon and we’re gonna plan the shower.”

The way they clambered inside was like seeing two excited little puppies and Steve had the dawning realization that he didn’t want to lose either of them. But this pup only had one father. And he knew he couldn’t ask the other to hang around and help raise a child that wasn’t his. But for now, as the four of them (five really) sat around the kitchen and figured out the baby shower, he could dream.

Part 6

[dearstvckyx]

getting engaged to high school sweetheart Quinn Hughes

quinn has been planning the proposal for months, wanting everything to be perfect. he has even gone to his parents, mainly his mom, about how he should go about it.

he chooses a location that’s significant to your shared history - a waterfall in the woods behind your childhood home. its where you and quinn first met and had your first kiss.

quinn does subtle gifts to prepare you (ya know those videos where girls are like “my bf paid for me to get my nails done, is he going to propose?” yeah thats quinn and except your kinda oblivious to it)

when you guys get in-front of the waterfall he instantly sees the cameraman hidden away, they both nod to each other preparing for whats about to happen.

you both talk for a bit mainly about the memories of the waterfall. quinn looks behind you and asks, “what is that over there?”. and you turn to look not seeing anything but when your turn back around quinn is down on one knee.

his speech is short but sweet (which you didn’t mind) he tries not to choke up when saying “you know, we've been through a lot together since childhood to now. we’ve grown, we've learned, and we've loved. i can't imagine going through life with anyone else by my side. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, growing, learning, and loving together. Will you marry me?”

the ring he presents is beautiful, and is actually the one his great grandfather proposed to his great grandma with, then his grandpa to his grandma and finally his dad to his mom, now he’s proposing to the love of his life with it.

quinns nerves are high as you take a while to process what’s happening, you finally say yes and before quinn can put the ring on your finger, your pulling him up by his cheeks and kissing him with more love than ever before.

he pulls you into a tight embrace, whispering “i love you” into your ear which your respond back.

quinn and yourself start walking back to your childhood home, instead of going through the front door you both go through the gage, which confused you for a bit, and you’re welcomed with the sight of: your family, quinns family, both of yours high school friends, most of quinns teammates from the canucks and other nhl teams, also jacks friends are there.

after a little celebration party, congratulations after congratulations, showing off your ring, and having both jack & luke hugging you and thanking whoever is out there for their soon to be sister in law, you and quinn finally head to your teenage bedroom and just lay there staring at the ring.

yourusername has posted

yourusername bruno mars once said, ‘Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you’ and i agree with him. i love you @/_quinnhughes

view comments

jackhughes: finally its only been forever

minnierosebud: i still couldn’t believe this was real, i love you both

lhughes_06: my new sister 😊

trevorzergas: congratulations quintin

_eliaspettersson: thanks for letting me apart of the celebration huggy, congrats

canucks: future mrs. hughes

elhughes: i can’t wait to officially welcome you in our family, much love to you both

[lady-pendragon-9]

Here are my late late 2 cents of ch. 114.

Better late than never they say 😅

I want to begin saying how much I respect this woman and I'll tell you why while I try to develop this.

It's been a while since we saw Yuri in a chapter and of course his beloved sister had to be in it as well.

Once more we are told Yor is a selfless soul who thinks in everyone's needs first instead of hers. As I've always said, she's so used to give but not to receive.

Yuri sees this situation as if she was a servant to the Forgers 😅 but he couldn't be further from the truth, his sis is someone who gets happines through the wellness of her dear ones. That's so noble of her but she's yet to discover herself as an individual and as a woman, she's given baby steps but there's a long way to go.

Her capacity to love is so genuine ❤️

But Yuri still thinks she's sacrificing herself to others and brings back their childhood topic, I think he feels guilty, he feels he was a burden to Yor and that because of him she had to grow up so early but Yor replies back in such beautiful way.

All what she did, she did it with LOVE, and when you do things with love there's nothing to regret.

Of course there must have been difficult times but she decided to focus on the happy memories to keep her going, they gave her a purpose, we can see how memories can affect your present depending on the spot you see them.

Another thing we reinforced is how Yor isn't build to be alone, she needs people around her she needs to take care of someone. Imagine if the Forgers were to break up, she will suffer a lot (Endo please, I need a good end 🥲)

She's found joy again and reinforced her purpose as an assassin because of her new life, but once again is because she decided so.

Then Yuri suggests to go back to Nielsberg just the two of them, he's so tied to his past and to his sister, she's still his world but then again this woman gives him a lesson.

The past stays in the past, move on, find your way and keep flowing in this river called life.

And this is why I respect her so much. Happines is a choice and Yor decides to find it in the little things of her daily life, not in luxury not in owning expensive stuff but in the people she care about and the moments she shares with them, we all have the choice but not everyone is strong enough to make it. Sometimes I wonder if her physical strenght is an allegory to her inner strenght 🤔

So if you ever dare to say that Yor is a boring character I recommend to hold your breath, think twice and shut the fuck up.

God, this went on and on and on, if you got till this part, thanks 🫰🏻

[expertfool]

i’ve been hesitant to share my thoughts about ford and zaphod’s relationship despite my constant thinking about them bc a lot of what i think is purely speculation, but @alas-the-void-screams-back has prompted me and i’m extremely easy.

again, a lot of what i’m about to say is purely speculation based off extreme inferring from small pieces in the books and radio series, as well as some of douglas adams’ own history.

i don’t think ford and zaphod get along well. i think they’re good at tolerating each other, as well as convincing themselves “hey, maybe i actually do like my cousin” for the first few days after reuniting before things go to shit again. i also do think that they do miss each other, but what they miss is a childhood that’s long since passed. but before i get into their relationship, i think it’s important that i clarify my opinions on each of their childhoods separately.

we don’t know much about either of their parents, but we do know that ford’s father came to betelgeuse 5 where he fathered and uncled ford. we also know that douglas adams was an environmentalist who advocated for endangered species and said he wished he’d been a biologist instead of a writer. making ford the last of his species was not an accident. so, i think that this is not some game-of-thrones style incest. i think the most rational explanation is that betelgeuse 7, where ford’s species is from, was likely in their first stages of interstellar travel, and ford’s father (and perhaps mother) was an astronaut or scientist, which would explain his absence from his home planet upon its destruction. i think it’s also possible ford’s mother (his father’s sister) was also an astronaut or scientist, and that ford was a test tube baby—a last ditch effort to save his species. this can also explain why ford’s father is so disappointed in him. he had sacrificed so much to accomplish this continuation of their species, put his own pride aside, sacrificed family, shamed himself to give ford life, and ford doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. likely, a father like this expects ford to do the same, endure the same shame and struggle for the honor of the species. but despite his poor relationship with his father, we know ford had at least one good relationship with a mother who read him stories; i imagine that ford probably showed early talent for writing, and his father ignored it in favor of trying to convince ford to become a scientist, archivist, or historian in effort to persevere their species, but ford had a mother who encouraged him. also, being the last of his species, young ford would’ve been all over the news. imagine if we had a species from another planet trying to survive on ours. there’d be baby pictures in the news, his first day at school, attending uni. he would’ve been followed from before he was born. i think it’s also possible the government on betelgeuse 5 would’ve given him (and his family) access to better healthcare and required yearly checkups to make sure ford developed appropriately much like humans do with currently endangered species, but on a more personal level since ford’s family can be communicated and coordinated with.

we know that zaphod is his own great-great grandfather, but i honestly don’t think that matters much lmao except to say that zaphod’s morals are extremely low. however, we do also know that zaphod coordinated with his grandfather to steal the heart of gold and find whomever is running the universe, essentially. becoming the president of the galaxy is no easy task, and this is greatly clarified in the books. you have to really, really, really stand out. i also think based on earth politics, it’d be pretty hard to become a president of something so major without having some background in government. so, my opinion is that zaphod’s family was already involved in interstellar politics; this would actually give good reason as well to how ford and zaphod’s family came together—their parents met while visiting/working for the government. only six people in the galaxy know what the purpose of the president of the galaxy is, and how would zaphod’s grandfather know that unless he was in government prior to his death? everyone also knew who zaphod was before he became president—he was very widely popular for his scandals. i think i’d be pretty difficult to become widely known and widely popular around the galaxy if he didn’t already have a foot in the door thanks to family connections.

so, under the assumption that everything i said above is true (which could easily not be true with the way adams writes lol), ford and zaphod had a rocky childhood. they probably wanted for little in terms of material goods. if ford’s family had the support of the government for being the last of his species and zaphod’s family was politically affluent, they probably had decent healthcare, access to good schools, and proper housing. any personality issues are a result of relationships (fatherly, motherly, brotherly, etc). we know they went to school together and were in the same class. ford is supposed to be younger, but i imagine that it’s a small difference; zaphod was the oldest in their grade and ford was the youngest. i also like to think they had a good relationship during childhood—they would’ve played together and bickered and fought and made each other cry, but zaphod would stick up for ford if he was bullied for being alien and ford idolized zaphod when he was young. zaphod is canonically smart, better than ford who is average. childhood would’ve been filled at first with ford admiring his older cousin and then later growing jealous and resentful (from wanting to be like zaphod, his father comparing the two of them). ford also seems to know the way zaphod behaves under times of stress and confrontation; in the restaurant at the end of the universe, ford jokes that zaphod goes to pieces so fast ppl get hit with the shrapnel. in the same book though, ford and zaphod are thinking on how to steal a ship together as if they’ve done this before. i’m guessing they used to have a buddy thief schtick. it could’ve started when they were young, stealing from corner stores and cheating on exams together until they got older and realized they could do more. zaphod would’ve been the planner, as he was shown planning with his grandfather, and ford more heavily in the action. this would track also with their natural talents—zaphod with intelligence and ford’s naturally athletic and sharp abilities presented through the books—but also emphasized by the fact that zaphod disconnected the link between his two brains before acting on his plans to steal the heart of gold to stop himself from knowing exactly what he planned to do but also possibly to force zaphod to rely on himself instead of getting too inside his own head and panicking in a way that ford doesn’t. i also imagine zaphod’s poor morality (willing to fuck his own great-great grandmother, going to jail pre-canon, leaving ford on earth, leaving trillian after they had a kid) impacted his relationship with ford more than ford’s behavior impacts zaphod. surely ford has done bad things to zaphod (like leave him to die in exchange for saving arthur—however, ford does show some feeling over this. when arthur gets upset at ford for leaving zaphod and trillian to die, ford tells him they can drink about it later, implying ford frequently drinks to soothe and/or forget his own actions that upset himself), but ford is actually pretty loyal in his own way; he at least tries for the people he cares about. and zaphod does try to care for ford in the restaurant at the end of the universe, working to sober his little cousin up with the same nonchalance as someone who’s done this a thousand times before. but zaphod never tries to stop ford from drinking, and never looks out for him in any other context. they also both view their reunion not as a celebration but as a contest; both of them want to appear cool to each other but also cool to their counterparts trillian and arthur. after not seeing each other for 15+ years, the first thing they both try to do is shove their own lives in the other’s face.

so, basically, i’ve made a bunch of assumptions on very little evidence that ford and zaphod don’t have a very good relationship. i’m guessing that something (or multiple things over a long period of time) caused them to separate, but once they had been quite close.

[goodgirlk]

Blue Eyes and the Lone Star Sky- Chapter 3

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Female OC

Warnings: Language, slight angst, suggestive themes

WC: 8.4k

You are going to kill it, I promise

Tatum read the text from Paige for the fourth time that day as she parked outside of her parents house. Paige had left early that morning following their movie night and Tatum had a huge day ahead of her, celebrating her birthday with her family and telling them about the twins. When she had told her mom that Noah was no longer coming, she was met with confusion but luckily her dad had arrived home and her mom hung up quickly after, leaving her no time to explain herself.

Now, as she walks to the front door of her childhood home, she feels her stomach turning. “Hey sweetheart, you look beautiful!” Her dad says, pulling her in for a tight hug and kissing her head.

“Thanks dad!” She smiles brightly, entering the house and placing her bag down in the living room. 

“Your mom said Noah isn’t coming, is that right?” He asks, the two of them walking to the kitchen where the rest of the family sat, her mom getting the last of the food ready for dinner. 

“Yeah we uhh-” Tatum cut herself off, not wanting to spill the news yet. After a second of thinking however, she decided now is the best time to say it. “We actually broke up almost a month ago. A lot happened and I just haven’t been ready to talk about it yet.”

She could feel her eyes welling as she thought about that fateful night, remembering the anger in his eyes as he screamed at her. Quickly wiping her tears away, she felt her younger brother Brandon giving her a hug, silently comforting her. With his presence by her side and her younger sister Naomi holding her hand, she decided she would also tell them about the pregnancy, hoping to not ruin dinner in the process.

“I guess I also should let y’all know I’m pregnant with twins.” She whispered, hoping that if she didn’t say it too loud they wouldn’t react.

Immediately she felt her brother squeeze her into a strong hug, congratulating her as their sister joined in, the two elated at the news. As she pulled back from the hug she glanced at her parents, her dad silently crying at the news, joy on his face as he made his way over to her, her mom on the other hand had not reacted at all yet. 

“Congratulations honey!” Her dad stated, holding her close. “I can’t believe my baby is going to be a mom.”

“Congrats baby.” She heard from her mom. She was expecting this, a soft response while everyone was around, but knew it would be too good to be true, her true reaction would come out later when it was just then. Her mom always liked to keep the peace but was quick to let her know her thoughts when they were alone.

The remainder of dinner went well, easy conversation about how school was going for her siblings, her brother planning to play 7v7 this summer with his high school team, sister ready to spend her days by the pool with her friends tanning. Their lives seem so easy compared to Tatum’s reality of growing twins but she wouldn’t have it any other way for them, happy they got to enjoy themselves. Once they had cake and celebrated her birthday together, her parents sent her siblings off to get ready for bed since they had school the next day.

“So twins huh?” Her mom asked as she finished placing the last dish in the dishwasher. “How is that going to work with Noah?”

Tatum sighed, ready for the judgement to come out. “Yeah twins due in December. He said he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the kids so it's all me now.”

“You can’t really expect to be raising twins alone, Tatum, really? How is that going to work with your job?”

“I work from home and can make my own schedule mom, plus it is better to raise them alone with him.” She stated, voice dropping with the last statement. She had never told her parents how controlling he was or how he treated her in private, playing the perfect boyfriend card every time they were near.

“I just think you are making a mistake. Maybe you should move closer to home so you can have help.”

“Mom I like my place and my friends in the city, I’m not moving home at the first inconvenience. Maybe if shit hits the fan, sure, but that isn’t my plan A.” She stated, hoping it would end the conversation. It isn’t even my plan Z if we are being honest, she thought, hoping to never move home. She escaped a controlling relationship already this year, she didn’t need to move into one willingly.

“Okay well we will see. You should start going to church more, meet a nice young man to help you raise the kids, they need a father in their life if Noah isn’t going to do it.” 

Tatum rolled her eyes, her mom always one to tell her what she should do and how she should live her life. “The kids will be fine with me mom, at least they have a parent that loves them and wants them, not someone who is there by default.”

Luckily for her, her siblings rejoined them downstairs, stopping the conversation from going much further. She talked about sports with her brother for a while, him filling her in on how football has been going and how he thinks his team will do next year. Her phone flashed, Paige’s contact showing up with a facetime. They had planned to talk after dinner and it wasn’t until now that she realized how long she had been talking with her mom. Brandon looked down, seeing the contact photo for Paige, the polaroid taken at her birthday dinner, the two of them smiling widely, shocked at what he saw.

“Bro, is that Paige Bueckers? Like THE Paige Bueckers?” He asked, having his fangirl moment on the couch.

Tatum laughed, forgetting she didn’t tell them about her new best friend. “Oh yeah she moved in next door to me so we are good friends now.”

“Y’all look more than friends in that photo.” Brandon said under his breath, Tatum quickly slapped him in response as he laughed.

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, “She is a good friend, nothing more.”

“Sure, sure.” Brandon responded, lifting his arms in the air in surrender. 

Tatum’s phone dinged quickly after missing the call, a text from Paige about the lack of response.

You good ma? Call me when you’re free

“Ma? Definitely more than friends.” Brandon laughed, hopping off the couch before Tatum could hit him again.

Yeah, just about to leave my parents, I will call when I get to my car :)

Tatum said her goodbyes, pulling her siblings in for a tight hug and kiss on their heads, regardless of how much taller they got than her. She gave her parents a hug and retreated to her car, ready to get home and unwind. Also ready to talk with Paige about everything her mom said, needing to rant about just how judgemental her mom can be.

Once in her car and on her way back to her apartment, Tatum chose Paige’s name from her contacts, the phone connecting almost immediately. 

“Wow, a normal call and not a facetime? What, you don’t wanna see me no more?” Paige asked, her smile clear through her voice.

“I’m driving Paige.” Tatum laughed, rolling her eyes. “Plus I have two extra passengers along for the ride that I have to be safe for.” Her hand quickly found her stomach, rubbing lightly at the small bump as she thought about her babies. “How is it being back home?”

“It’s good ma. Got to see my family today when we landed and they’re coming out to the game tomorrow.” 

They talked for the remainder of the drive home about how the flight was and Paige’s nerves for the game, steering clear of the talk about Tatum’s family until she was home. They both knew it would be a long talk and Paige wanted to make sure Tatum was home where she could let her emotions out, not worried for her safety during the drive.

Paige could hear when Tatum made it to her apartment, the now familiar jingle of her keys as she unlocked her front door sounding. Knowing she was now home safe, she clicked the button to facetime Tatum.

Laughing at how quick Paige facetimed once she got home, Tatum answered, smiling at the blonde. “Someone is eager.” She laughed, making her way inside and heading to her room to change.

“Can you blame me? I wanna see your pretty face.” Paige smiled, enjoying the blush that crept up Tatum’s chest. “Now lemme see that outfit you have on before you change.”

Tatum set the phone down on her vanity, stepping back to give Paige a spin, her yellow sundress swaying from the motion. Paige was in awe at her beauty, her curls falling perfectly over her shoulder and makeup glowing. She took a quick screenshot, wanting to capture the raw beauty of Tatum. “You look good. Have to pull that dress out again sometime this summer.” Paige stated.

Tatum smiled earnestly at the compliment. “Thank you P.”

“Well how did it go?” Paige asked, ready to give the brunette the space to unwind.

“Mom said I should quote ‘go to church more and meet a nice young man to help you raise the kids’ and that they are going to need a father in their life without Noah there. I just don’t understand why she is acting like this.” Tatum set her phone down on her dresser facing the ceiling as she began to change into her pajamas. “I get she wants me to live this picture perfect life but can she not be happy for me for two fucking seconds? I told her I was pregnant and she gave a short ‘congrats baby.’ I know this is what I expected but for once I wanted to be surprised by her. Oh yeah! She also told me to move home so I can have help but that will never happen, trust me.”

“Oof that’s rough. I’m sorry you had to hear that from her. I think the babies will be fine, they have you and an amazing group of aunties in your friends, they will be just as loved as they would have if Noah was in the picture. Plus, he is a piece of shit Tatum, you are doing them a favor by never putting them in danger with him.” 

“Thank you. I just wish she could be proud of me. She has always found faults in what I choose to do, mad I moved away from home, mad when I stopped working an office job, hell she was mad when I started dating Noah because he wasn’t from one of their rich friends' children. I have never been good enough and I worry I never will be.” Her voice broke, the tears beginning to flow heavily as she thought about all the ways her mom has been disappointed in her over the years.

“Hey don’t cry ma. You are an amazing person and you’re strong as hell. Who gives a fuck if she approves of everything, if you are happy, do it! Don’t follow their guidance just because they are your parents, do what satisfies you and live your life with your head held high. I told you already, even if they don’t want to support you, you have me by your side and I will make sure to have your back as long as you let me.”

Tatum cried quietly for a few minutes longer, enjoying that Paige gave her the space to feel her feelings fully. She hated that she would have to suppress everything when she was with Noah and she was thankful for the change. Once finished, she looked back at the screen, laughing quietly as she saw Paige watching her through her moment. “I’m sorry you had to witness that, I’m an ugly ass crier.”

Paige laughed at this, taken aback by the statement. “Nah you look beautiful ma.” 

Tatum smiled, then remembering her brother’s comments, paired with the comments of her friends from her birthday dinner, she laughed again. “My brother and friends think we are fucking.” She blurted out, watching the shocked expression and blush that adorned Paige’s face as she heard the comment.

“I mean we could…” Paige smiled, rubbing her hands together as she looked into the camera slyly. 

“Shut up Paige.” Tatum laughed. “Anyways thank you again for listening to me tonight. I’ll let you go so you can rest before your game tomorrow. Good luck, I will be watching from home!”

“Good night Tatum. I will text you when I can tomorrow!” Paige answered.

“Good night P.” Tatum smiled, ending the call.

~~~

Tatum found herself added into a group chat with Azzi and Paige, the girls discussing the upcoming Wings game in Connecticut the following week.

Tatum! You’re coming to Connecticut for the game, right?!

Tatum smiled at the text from Azzi, she had been contemplating attending the game since meeting the girls when they were in Dallas, excited to see them again. She hadn’t fully made up her mind about the trip, no flight, ticket, or hotel room booked yet making the trip a lot less of a reality at the moment. 

Girl I have literally nothing planned for it yet. Like no flight, no hotel, I don’t even have a ticket for the game yet. Let me see and I’ll let you know

Paige! How dare you leave our girl hanging like that?

Tatum laughed at this, suddenly feeling the need to defend herself. She could buy her own ticket and everything, just hadn’t gotten around to it in the craziness of the pregnancy and her parents

Azzi I’m grown, I can get this myself. I’ve just been lazy

Nah give me 10 minutes, I’ll get you hooked up ma

Paige responded quickly and Tatum laughed when she saw her phone light up with Paige’s contact almost immediately after.

“You didn’t tell me you wanted to go ma or else I woulda booked this for you before today!” Paige exclaimed, more flustered at Azzi calling her out than the situation.

Tatum laughed at her flustered state. “Paige for real, I got this, I just hadn’t thought about it much until she brought it up.”

“Nah I am already working on booking your flight, I got to support my girl before I look like an asshole for making you pay yourself.”

Tatum’s heart clenched at Paige's words, my girl, she thought, don’t be crazy she doesn’t mean it like that. Tatum shut herself down quickly, ignoring the way her heart hurt as she thought of Paige with someone else.

“Fine but next time I get everything myself.” Tatum stated, staying firm on her quest to be independent post breakup.

“Sure.” Paige shrugged, knowing she would put up a fight to cover the cost for Tatum when they traveled again. “Aight looks like you’re good, you should get an email with all the information in a few minutes. Hey I gotta go to practice though so I will talk to you when I get back?”

“Of course. Have fun!” 

~~~

Tatum found herself in the hotel lobby with Azzi, the girls waiting for their Uber to arrive so they could make it to the game to support Paige. It had been a fun day so far for the girls, getting to see Paige for a few hours while she got ready for the game and then spending the next few hours with Azzi cycling through outfits until she found the perfect one. 

Her bump was showing a bit more now, having gone from looking bloated the week prior to a true bump at this point. She decided to wear a simple outfit, a pair of black shorts and a jersey Paige had bought her so she could support her, stating she played better when Tatum had her name on her back. 

They arrived at the game quickly and found their way to the seats, Azzi taking pride in introducing Tatum to the rest of the UConn team in attendance. The game was exciting, Paige having her best game yet and the team winning by 12. Once it was done, the group made their way down to congratulate Paige, Tatum staying back a bit to give her a chance to catch up with her friends. After talking with them for a few minutes, Paige looked around for Tatum, her face lighting up when she saw the shorter girl in her jersey.

She made her way over to Tatum, bringing the girl in for a hug once she was close enough. “I told you I’d play better with you in that jersey.” She smiled, ignoring the looks from her friends as she and Tatum embraced, tugging slightly at the collar of Tatum’s jersey. “Gotta have you wear it to all the games now.”

“Maybe I should.” Tatum smiled back, pulling away from Paige at the sound of KK’s voice, suddenly remembering where they were.

“Bro I told y’all she’s whipped.” The group laughed at this comment, Paige turning to head back to the locker room for press and a shower, a quick “Fuck you!” thrown their way as she left.

They continued laughing as they made their way back to the hotel, the group deciding to go down to the hotel bar for drinks since Tatum had an early flight back to Dallas the next morning. Conversation flowed naturally between everyone, Tatum hearing a lot of stories of Paige’s college days, even some high school stories from Azzi who loved to bring up Paige’s embarrassing moments. 

The most common conversation however was about Paige and Tatum’s relationship, the group joking about how close they had gotten already, speculating on what their relationship was at this point. 

“For real y’all, we are just friends.” Tatum laughed for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, not missing the way Paige’s arm tightened around her waist every time the topic was brought up.

As the night began to wind down, Tatum and Paige said their goodbyes to the group, Paige insisting on making sure Tatum made it to her room safely. “They really are a great group of friends. You got lucky.” Tatum smiled up at Paige, the blonde reaching out to grab her hand and pull her closer.

“Yeah I did huh?” Paige grinned, enjoying the quiet that encased the two.

The quiet continued as they reached Tatum’s floor, making their way down the hallway to the suite that Paige had booked for her. “Thanks again for all of this, it was good to get out of the house and watch you play.”

“Anytime T, I like seeing you happy. Plus I’m being for real when I say I play better with you wearing my name.”

Tatum laughed at this, not believing that her jersey choice had anything to do with Paige’s performance. “Shut up, you’re such a flirt.”

“I try my best.” Paige laughed, pulling Tatum in for a hug. “Text me when you make it back to Dallas and I will be back home Friday if you wanna come over for movie night.”

“I will.” Tatum answered, leaning up to give Paige a kiss on her cheek, a normal action for the pair now. “Goodnight P.”

“Night love.”

~~~

The next game was rough, a tough fight in Chicago that ended in a win for the team but Paige was still upset at her performance. She felt like no matter what she did, she just could not find her rhythm, missed shots and turnovers plaguing her game. She held her head high throughout the game, not letting everyone know how much her fumbles were affecting her, but Tatum could tell when watching that was upset with herself. 

By the time Paige got back to the hotel, she was ready to forget this night ever happened and sleep it off but she found herself longing for Tatum at that moment. She called Tatum, the line connecting quickly, Paige feeling herself smile at the sight of Tatum almost instantly.

“Hey I wondered when you would be back at the hotel, I was just about to text you.” Tatum answered, “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh,” Paige groaned, “I don’t even know. I’m happy for the team to get the win but I’m upset with myself.”

“Paige it is okay to have a bad game!”

“I know that and I don’t expect myself to be the best player every night, but I don’t want to let them down.” She worried, biting her lip briefly as she reviewed her performance in her head.

“You aren’t letting them down P, you are human and are allowed to not put up record numbers every single game. Sometimes it is okay to be a member of the team and not the leader.”

Paige had always felt it was her duty to lead the team, to take their losses and errors on her own shoulders so the other players could focus on the moment. She would carry the burden of any mistakes so they didn’t have to and she was trying to teach herself that it was okay to relinquish that control.

“Look, let yourself feel bad tonight, take a bath, cry if you have to, and then when you get back here and you play them again on Saturday, make changes and prove to everyone who you are! You are Paige fucking Bueckers, you were drafted number one for a reason and it’s cause you’re really fucking good at basketball, so don’t let tonight ruin everything cause that isn’t who you are and they will see that.” Tatum stated.

Paige laughed, caught off guard by the speech Tatum gave. Sitting her further on her bead and wiping away a stray tear she spoke up. “Thanks ma, I needed that. You ever thought of being a motivational speaker or some shit? You’re good at that.”

Tatum laughed, enjoying the smile that now graced Paige’s face. “Maybe I’ll think about it for my next career.”

They continued talking for a while while Paige made her way to the bathroom, a nice warm bath calling her name. Watching as Tatum yawned again, clearly fighting sleep to talk, she decided to let the brunette go. “Go to sleep Tatum, I will see you tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, text me when you get home.” She slid further under the covers, eyes fluttering shut. “Goodnight Paige.”

“Goodnight T.” 

~~~

The next few games went by well for Paige, her performance in Chicago pushing her into another gear and she was on a quest now to make anyone who doubted her regret it, but most importantly, she was having fun doing it. She felt like she had been so caught up in the headlines and commentary on her performance and goals in the W that she had started treating basketball like just a job instead of the game she grew up loving. 

Paige found herself longing for the moments she could be with Tatum, soaking up each moment they were together. She woke up earlier to join her morning run, sat around Tatum’s apartment when she had a free moment to just watch the girl work, and facetimed her every night that she was on the road. They fell into a comfortable routine and Paige was loving every minute of it.

“They said the babies are the size of a pear this week and can hear!” Tatum stated excitedly, looking up from her phone as she sat next to Paige on her couch. “I guess I should start talking to them now.”

“That’s crazy T,” Paige smiled, “I gotta start teaching them basketball now, they’re gonna be hoopers.”

“Yeah we better hope they get Noah’s height cause they aren’t getting it from me.” Tatum laughed, “Might be the only good thing he passes on to them.”

Paige laughed at this, taken back by Tatum’s honesty. She hadn’t spoken much about Noah since he left, not wanting to taint the memory of her pregnancy with a shitty baby daddy. “Well they’ll have the best coach in the world so they’ll be fine, just trust me.” 

Tatum rubbed at her stomach as she pictured her future, running and laughing with her babies, a familiar blonde making an appearance in each moment.

“Watchu thinking about over there?” Paige asked, noticing how quiet the girl next to her got, clearly in her head.

“Just the future, what the twins will be like, how I’ll be as a mom, kinda all of it.” Tatum smiled, “What do you think is in store for your future?”

It wasn’t uncommon for them to talk about the future but most of the time it was around Paige’s career and aspirations. This would be one of the first times they really spoke about the kids and Tatum’s quickly approaching reality of motherhood.

“I like to think I’ll be here for a while, winning championships in this city that I am growing to love, but I also like to think you’ll stick around and I can get to watch the twins grow up with such an amazing mother.” Paige reached over, grasping Tatum’s hand in hers. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Tatum taking Paige’s hand and rubbing it along her stomach with hers, before Paige spoke up again. “So tell me more about what your books have been saying.” Tatum had been reading pregnancy and motherhood books for the last few weeks, eager to learn all she can about what is to come.

“Ooo okay! So they should start moving soon which is exciting!” Tatum turned to face Paige, smiling widely, “And they are going to start growing hair soon!”

“That’s awesome T,” Paige hummed, “What about symptoms?”

“Well I haven’t thrown up in a full day! But they say I may start having more heartburn with the hair growth. Oh they also said that it is common for increased libido with the hormone changes in the second trimester so apparently I may be more horny than usual soon.” Tatum laughed, surprised she was talking about that with Paige, a relatively new friend of hers no matter how close they have gotten since meeting. 

“Yo that’s crazy ma,” Paige laughed, “Well as I keep saying, I’m always open to help if you need me.” 

“Shut up Paige!” Tatum rolled her eyes, slapping Paige’s shoulder and pushing her away slightly. “Anyways! You gonna be in town on the 16th? I have to go in for my next ultrasound if you wanna come with?”

“Of course I’ll be there T.” Paige smiled, happy to be included in those moments. “Oh also, the team wants to go out to some bar tomorrow for drinks and dancing, you wanna come with me?”

“I’d love to!” Tatum clapped, “I miss going out so this will be fun!”

~~~

Tatum finished up her run and watched as Paige did the last of her lift, admiring the girl's arms as she put away the weights. “You like what you see?” Paige hummed, enjoying the look Tatum was giving her.

Tatum snapped her eyes away from Paige, grabbing her water bottle from the floor and taking a big sip. Smiling, Paige got closer to the brunette, turning her around to look at them in the mirror. Tatum in her black workout set and Paige in a white sports bra and team shorts slung low on her hip, her Nike boxers poking out the top. She leant down enough, her mouth close to Tatum’s ear and eyes locked in the mirror, “Look at you all flustered. You look good today T.” Paige whispered. 

Tatum coughed, red heating her chest and neck as she watched Paige pull back and smile. “Why do you always do that shit?” She whined, turning to smack Paige’s arm.

“Cause you look cute when you blush.” Paige laughed, stepping away from Tatum’s reach before she could get hit.

Tatum turned to leave, wanting to get out of the close quarters with Paige and into a cold shower before the teasing went any further. “I really fucking hate you.” Tatum laughed as she opened the door.

“Nah you don’t T, you love it don’t lie.” Paige yelled as she ran to grab her stuff and catch up with Tatum. After a quick elevator ride back to their apartments, the girls decided to meet around 7 to leave and meet the team at the bar, the drive being a bit further than the last bar they went to.

~~~

Paige’s phone buzzed from her bed as she finished up her hair, deciding to go with waves for the night. Making her way into her room, she smiled as she read the message from Tatum.

You almost done? I can’t figure out what to wear and I need help

Yeah let me put on my shoes and I’ll be over

Thank you!! Door is unlocked, just come into my room when you’re here!

She made her way into her living room, sliding on her shoes and making sure she had all her things for the night out. Once locked up, she made her way into Tatum’s apartment, hearing a faint groan from the closet. Laughing, she walked into Tatum’s room to take in the sight in front of her. Dresses and pants lying on the floor, sports bras and tank tops on the bed, the entire room looking as if a tornado had ripped through.

“Yo you try on your entire closet so far?” Paige joked, searching for Tatum.

“It isn’t funny, Paige, I don't know what to wear.” Tatum whined, walking out of the closet in just a black bra and underwear.

Paige’s breath hitched as she took in Tatum before her, her beautiful curves and full breasts making Paige hope she never forgets the sight. Once she steadies her breathing, she speaks up. “How can I help ma?”

“What do you think I should wear? I wanna make a good impression on everyone but I don’t know what is best.”

“Tatum you can wear literally anything and they will like you, I promise. What are you feeling right now?”

Tatum showed Paige a few outfits, ultimately landing on a pair of jean shorts and a pink crop top that tied in the front, her growing bump on full display. Once dressed and satisfied with her makeup, they made their way to Tatum’s car to meet the team at the bar. They arrived and went inside, a few members having already made it and gotten some tables in the back.

Paige took pride in introducing Tatum to the team, ignoring the confused looks from her teammates as she introduced her as just a friend. They took their seats at the table, Paige pulling Tatum’s chair closer and looped her arm around the back of her chair.

“So how far along are you, Tatum?” DiJonai asked, leaning over the table a bit to hear better.

“I’m 15 weeks with twins!” Tatum smiled.

The two began talking more about the pregnancy and how she and Paige met, their friendship so far. Paige decided to get a round of drinks for the group, her and Arike heading to the bar together.

“Y’all real close for some friends.” Arike grinned.

“Nah it ain’t like that, trust.” Paige answered, knowing the question would come multiple times that night.

“Aight I’ll believe it for now but we’ll see.”

They made their way back to the group with drinks, Paige happy for the distraction from questioning as they all made a toast to the team and to a fun night out. Similar to the last time Paige and Tatum went out, drinks were flowing and Tatum was just excited to be included. Listening to stories from practice so far about Paige, watching as the team laughed together and hearing them talk about their next steps, she loved seeing Paige in her element among her new friends. 

After an hour or so of drinking and talking, the group began making their way to the dancefloor, DiJonai reaching across the table and pulling Tatum up to join her. “C’mon you gotta join us!” She yelled. 

Tatum nodded and stood up, turning around and holding out her hand for Paige. “Come dance with me P!” She yelled, hoping her smile would persuade the blonde to join her without having to ask again. To her delight, Paige took her hand and stood up, allowing the brunette to drag her out to the dancefloor.

They began moving to the beat, Paige’s hands finding Tatum’s hips, her thumbs looping through her belt loops. “We need to do this more often!” Tatum yelled over the music, “I like dancing with you!”

“Yeah ma, we can do that.” Paige smiled, she would be willing to do anything for Tatum just to see her smile as large as she was at that moment.

Songs continued to play as the girls danced, getting closer and hotter as the night progressed. At some point in the night, Tatum turned around, her back near Paige’s front. With the new position, Paige slung one arm around Tatum’s shoulders, hand near the opposite side, pulling her closer to her body, the other hand finding her waist. 

Tatum’s breath hitched with the proximity, enjoying the feeling of Paige’s skin on her bare back and longing for more. She pressed her body against Paige tentatively, rolling her hips to the music. Paige leaned down, her breath fanning over Tatum’s neck, goosebumps forming in its absence. 

“You keep dancing like this and we can go out every night.” Paige groaned, feeling herself growing needy with each movement from the brunette. 

Tatum turned her head, taking a similar position to Paige and whispering in her ear, “I may have to take you up on that,” her needy tone seeping through her words.

They continued to grind against each other for a while until Paige’s teammates began leaving, wanting to make sure they had everything packed before they left the next day. The girls took it as their sign to leave as well, making their way back to the apartment and saying their goodbyes at Tatum’s door.

“Thank you for the invite P, that was fun.” Tatum sighed, reaching for Paige to give her a proper hug.

“Of course ma.” Paige leaned down, angling her head slightly so she was closer to her ear. “I’ll be back in 4 days but call me if you need anything.” She whispered, enjoying the whine that left Tatum’s lips at this.

Tatum pulled back slightly, staring into Paige’s eyes for a few seconds. “Good night Paige.” 

“Night T.” Paige whispered, leaning in for one last hug before pulling away and allowing the brunette to enter her apartment.

~~~

Tatum watched as Paige ran down the court, her arms flexing as she shot the ball to increase their lead to 9. It was a tough game for the Wings, back and forth with the Aces all night, but it looked like they were finally pulling away to secure their next win. For how good Paige was playing, Tatum barely even noticed, she was too focused on how good Paige looked at that moment. 

Knowing it would be a while until Paige was back at her hotel and could talk, Tatum decided to take a bath and get ready for bed. Feeling her muscles finally relax as she slid in the warm, soapy water, Tatum sighed, turning on some music and closing her eyes. She lost track of time, humming along to the next song when she heard her phone begin to buzz. Reaching over, she answered the facetime from Paige, the blonde’s grin filling the screen as it connected.

“Hi pretty girl.” Paige hummed, “Did I interrupt something?”

“Nah was just finishing up a bath, I didn’t think you’d be back so fast.” Tatum smiled, admiring Paige’s eyes. “You looked good out there.”

“Just me or the whole team?” Paige asked, secretly loving the compliment from the girl.

“Uhh both?” Tatum whispered, angling her phone away from her face briefly as she thought about what was just said.

“Nah let me see that pretty face T, don’t get all shy now.” Paige hummed, voice dropping slightly and smiling widely as Tatum came back into frame. “There she is. You know I love it when you get all red.”

“Shut up Paige.” Tatum groaned, “You flirt like this with every girl you know?”

“Just the ones that look like you do.” Paige whispered.

“So I’m special huh?” 

“Always have been.” 

The girls allow the quiet to overtake them, staring into each other's eyes through the phone but not wanting to be the one who took the next move. After a minute of quiet, Tatum decided to speak up.

“Y’all fly back tomorrow?” Tatum asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Yeah, we should be back tomorrow afternoon, why? You miss me?” Paige smirked, watching as Tatum laid the phone down on the counter to get out of the bath. 

Once wrapped in her robe, Tatum grabbed the phone and propped it up against her mirror. “Nah just wondering.”

Paige slapped her hand against her chest, playing up the dramatics. “That’s cold T, just as I was about to tell you how much I missed you.”

“Whatever.” Tatum laughed, falling into a comfortable banter with Paige while she finished her skincare routine and laid in bed.

“You gonna be home tomorrow all day?” Paige asked.

“I should be, you wanna do something?” Tatum smiled, snuggling further into her comforter as she watched Paige do the same.

“Nah just wanna see you.” Paige whispered.

“I’d like that. Text me when you’re home and you can come over.”

“Deal. Night love.”

“Night Paige.”

~~~

You up?

Paige heard her phone buzz, reaching over to her bedside table to check the time. 4:30 AM. Who the fuck is texting me this early on my day off, she thought, grabbing her phone to see what’s going on, finding the text from Tatum staring back at her.

Yeah T, what’s up?

Can’t sleep, you wanna go workout with me?

Paige groaned, she was hoping to have the day off before she resumed practice on Monday, the last stretch of games catching up with her. Testing her luck, she decided to respond.

Nah but you can come lay with me and see if that helps

Tatum reread the words on her screen for the fifth time, not knowing what to say. On one hand, she would love to join Paige and sleep, but on the other hand she didn’t know what that would mean for them. They had been toeing the line of friends and something more for such a long time and Tatum wasn’t sure if this wouldn’t change things. Swallowing her fears, she got out of bed and found her robe, throwing it on over her bra and sleep shorts, and grabbed her keys to lock up.

On my way

Paige’s door opened quickly, the blonde half awake watching as Tatum entered her apartment quietly, slipping off her house shoes and falling into Paige’s embrace.

“Thanks Paige, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“No worries ma but let’s go to bed, I’m fucking tired.” Paige whispered into Tatum’s hair, pulling back to guide the girl into her room. She plopped into her bed, flipping back the covers on the other side as Tatum slid off her robe and joined her.

Tatum laid awkwardly, not knowing the best action to take, when she felt Paige’s arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer, pinning her to the blonde’s side. Within minutes, Paige could hear Tatum’s soft snores begin, a smile on her lips as she realized. With a quick kiss to the brunette’s forehead, Paige joined her in sleep, neither waking up until several hours later.

Paige woke up first, making her way out into her closet to get ready for the gym, figuring she would get a good workout in before they needed to leave for Tatum’s ultrasound. Quietly slipping out of the house, she made her way down to the gym. About halfway through her workout she received a text from Tatum thanking her for letting her stay and letting her know she is going to her place to get ready. Knowing she has about 2 hours left until the appointment, Paige finishes up her workout and heads up stairs to shower.

~~~

“How have you been feeling momma?” The nurse asked as Tatum made her way to the table for her ultrasound.

“Honestly pretty good!” Tatum smiled, “Not really having morning sickness anymore and no heartburn as of yet, knock on wood.”

“That’s good to hear. Now how are you sleeping?” 

“Most nights aren’t too bad but I couldn’t get comfortable last night. Really miss sleeping on my stomach.” Tatum frowned.

“Yeah you’re getting to the point where you might want to get a pregnancy pillow if you don’t already have one. Are you familiar with those?”

“I think I’ve seen them around before, I will make sure to get one soon! Thank you!” Tatum smiled, turning to face Paige. “Remind me when we get back to the apartments to buy one please.”

“Of course T.” Paige hummed, reaching out to hold Tatum’s hand as the nurse started the ultrasound.

“Well babies are looking good and right on track growth wise.” She moved the wand around, taking a few photos while Tatum and Paige watched. “Looks like baby A is a wiggle worm over there.”

“When will I be able to feel them?” Tatum asked, watching as baby A stretched and kicked their sibling slightly, baby B beginning to wiggle around as a result. 

“It’s typical for mommas to start feeling the babies around 18 weeks or so but it could be sooner.”

“What about others?” Tatum asked, turning to smile at Paige before returning her focus to the screen.

“Probably more like 20 weeks or so, it depends on a few factors. Take note when they are active once you start feeling them and it can make it easier for others to catch them.” 

They continued to watch as the babies wiggled around, the nurse finishing up the ultrasound and having Tatum sit up. She went over what Tatum should be experiencing for the next few weeks to be prepared and they scheduled the next appointment. Making their way out of the office, they got in Paige’s car and began the trip back to their apartments.

“You want me to stop and pick up dinner on the way back for our movie night?” Paige asked, pulling up her phone to see what was around them.

“I actually got some stuff at the store yesterday to make Chicken Parmesan, you want that?” Tatum hummed, facing Paige.

“I’ll always take a home cooked meal from you.” Paige laughed, turning out of the doctor's office and heading home.

“Thank you again for coming with me, it means a lot to not be alone.” Tatum smiled, watching Paige’s profile as she drove. 

“Of course T, I told you I will be there for you as long as you let me.” Paige whispered as she reached across, linking her fingers with Tatum for the remainder of the drive. 

Once they arrived back at the apartments they made their way up to Tatum’s for dinner and movie night. Paige watched as Tatum started dinner, the brunette kicking her out each time she tried to help. 

“Why won’t you let me help T?” Paige groaned, annoyed at getting shut down each time she asked.

“Cause I don’t need help Paige. Plus, you aren’t the best in the kitchen.” Tatum stated, her voice dropping to a whisper for the last part, smile large on her face as she saw that Paige still heard her.

Making her way around the island, Paige walked slowly towards Tatum. “What’d you just say ma?”

Tatum turned around to face Paige, hands in the air, “Nothing!” She laughed, trying to step back and not get caught by Paige.

“Nah I think I heard you.” Paige grabbed Tatum’s hands, pinning her between the counter and her body. “I think you were doubting my skills in the kitchen.”

Tatum’s breath hitched at the proximity of their bodies, pressing back slightly against Paige before the blonde leaned further into Tatum’s space. “I’m just saying, you burnt a frozen pizza last week. No shame P.” Tatum whispered, unsure what to do next.

“Then why don’t you teach me?” Paige whispered, letting Tatum go but not moving more than a few inches away.

Tatum nodded, not trusting herself to speak after being that close to Paige. Pushing against Paige’s chest, Tatum moved away from the counter and resumed her recipe. Handing the mallet to Paige, she told her how to flatten the chicken, honestly relieved to have someone else do it for her, her stomach turning at the feeling of raw chicken in her hands.

“Once you’re done you’re going to put it in the flour, then egg, then breadcrumbs and place it on the plate once it’s done. The oil is heating now so we can fry it.” Tatum smiled, Paige nodding along and jumping into action.

It didn’t take long for dinner to be finished now that they were working together, Tatum frying the chicken while Paige finished the salad to go with their meal. Sitting down at the table, Tatum was pleased with how well the meal came out.

“I see that smile over their ma, don't play. I did good huh?” Paige asked, watching as Tatum finished her bite and set her fork down.

“I mean it wasn’t all just you.” Tatum laughed, “But yeah you did really good Paige.”

“Thanks ma.” Paige whispered, face lighting up at the praise and ducking her head to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. Wanting to change the subject, she asked about Tatum’s plans for a gender reveal.

“I don’t wanna do anything crazy but I definitely want to know. She said they can find out at my next appointment so only 4 more weeks!” 

“That’s exciting T.” Tatum’s appointment was right before all-star break was slated to begin and while nothing was guaranteed yet, Paige’s performance so far had her on track to make the team. “You coming to Indy with me if I make all-star?”

“You want me to?” Tatum asked, not having planned to go yet but interested.

“Yeah if you’re down I’d love to have you there.” Paige smiled.

“Then yeah I’ll be there.” After a few minutes of quiet, Tatum had an idea. “Would it be weird if I did the gender reveal in Indy? I’m dreading having my mom take it over if we do it here so at least there she can’t control everything. Plus that way you can come and we don’t have to worry about your schedule.”

“Nah I don’t think it would be weird, let’s do it.” Paige hummed.

“Awesome! I’ll start planning then.” Tatum smiled, the girls finishing dinner quickly and making their way to the kitchen to start cleaning up.

“Why don’t you go change and choose the movie while I clean?” Paige asked, hoping to give the brunette the chance to sit down and let her do the work for her.

“You sure?” Tatum asked, not wanting to feel like she was taking advantage of Paige’s kindness by making her do the dirty work.

“Yes, now go.” Paige shooed her away, smiling when the shorter girl began making her way into her bedroom.

A couple minutes later Paige heard her name being called, shutting off the water and walking into Tatum’s bathroom when she found the girl struggling to reach something in her cabinet. “What’s wrong T?”

“I ran out of face wash and can’t reach the new bottle, can you get it for me?” Tatum asked, not turning around but still trying to reach the top shelf.

Paige made her way behind Tatum, placing one hand on her hip while the other gripped the bottle she was looking for and brought it down to the counter. “That all you need me to grab for you?” She whispered as Tatum turned around to face her. 

Tatum shook her head, staring into Paige’s eyes as neither wanted to back away. Slowly, Tatum raised up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around Paige’s neck, pulling her down to meet her halfway in a hug.

They stood there silently embracing for a minute before Tatum decided to take the next move, pulling back and locking eyes with the blonde. “Please just kiss me already.” Tatum whispered, barely hearing her own voice over the beating of her heart.

Without missing a beat, Paige leaned in, one hand coming to hold the back of Tatum’s head as she kissed her slowly. They pulled back but not far, Paige’s forehead resting on Tatum’s as they both regained their breathing. 

“Thank you.” Tatum whispered.

“Always ma.” Paige smiled, standing up to her full height.

The remainder of their movie night was quiet, neither knowing what to say or wanting to burst the bubble they now found themselves in. They both knew they would need to address the kiss but they were okay with putting that off until another day.

Once the movie was over, Paige made her way to the door, Tatum following closely behind. “Thank you for dinner T.” Paige hummed, pulling the shorter girl in for a hug. “You coming to the game tomorrow? I need my girl there in her jersey for good luck.”

“Of course I’ll be there Paige.” Tatum smiled, cheeks burning at the use of my girl to describe her. “Have a good night.”

“Night love. Text me if you need anything.” Paige whispered, giving a quick kiss to Tatum’s head before opening the door and leaving for her apartment.

What the fuck just happened??! Tatum thought to herself, so much for just staying friends.