#have an extra reason to be tough on them
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Wait, I'm confused - how would they qualify a spot for Ireland at Worlds? I don't quite know how that works for a country that hasn't had a spot in a while (or ever)? Is it their international ranking or scores that would put them in the mix? ty
Ireland is a member of the ISU, and as such has the right to enter a competitor who has reached the technical minimums. Aka, it doesn’t matter that they have entered one before, they have a spot they can use as long as they are able to and follow the rules.
It’s on S/F to achieve the minimum tech if they haven’t already (if they haven’t then they would need to be sent to a qualifying event to try), to be allowed to compete at Worlds. But with no competition in Ireland, the spot is theirs, assuming no complications*.
*and assuming that Shane (or Carolane) has citizenship, and it’s kind of a given that one of them must or else this would be all a moot point
#ask#SC doesn’t have a history of being petty and not releasing athletes who want to skate elsewhere#and while I suppose they could try to hold them off due to financial reasons#(SF have had funding and international competitions)#it’s not like SC has to worry excessively about SF’s success being in the way of Canadian skaters and therefore#have an extra reason to be tough on them#or as though they need/want something from Ireland in return#(sorry S/F but it’s true)
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whatevurrrrr dying fetus cd baby!!!!!!!
#kingsley does: cds#this was before the great face kickening of '24#not sure how to tag this but if you know what a dying fetus album looks like. you know what goes on#someone saw me picking this out and was like is that let them beg for death?? and i said yeah! and i was trying to find an extra copy#for him but the buyer only had one. rip#for some reason my phone did not save this picture but i also got the stooges self titled#it was tough pickings bro. between that and funhouse#and the seller** im not retyping that. had like so much cool shit too#coalesce....death.....suicidal tendences....bleach by nirvana#you see i have bleach but i have it as a digipak and not like a case sorta thing#but ya the deathgrind collection was really. i straight up said 'what the fuckkk' out loud at the death stuff#i had fun tonight despite my injury and some tears i shed about another thing. good people good music good finds#i miss it already#the cds are my christmas gift btw. like one of my moms gifts to me was a 20 dollar bill and it went to them. precious babs
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I know its kind of silly to say “don’t feel bad for canceling because of pain, fatigue, etc” because I know guilt is a reflex you can’t easily refrain from. But you can reason with yourself so instead I’ll say this:
Nobody can feel what you’re feeling but you. Nobody knows the severity of what you would be putting yourself through if you were to “tough it out.”
If you do “tough it out,” the purpose for you doing the thing will most likely not be fulfilled anyway. You probably will not be mentally present or engaged. You probably will not have a good time or get much out of it. Etc.
If people really have such a problem with it, thats a huge red flag. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries is a great way to weed people like that out of your life.
If you have any kind of chronic illness or disability, remember that you probably have a very warped judgement of what is “reasonable” to endure in terms of pain, fatigue, burnout, etc.
You didn’t ask for this, you don’t deserve this, there is no reason you should have to bear the weight of it alone. I bet if someone else was in your position, you wouldn’t mind helping accommodate for them?
Low energy days are truly sacred, take them seriously. Please respect your body’s signals. “If you do not choose times to rest, your body will choose for you” or however the saying goes
It is so much pressure to have to deliberate what sacrifices are necessary for proper self care. Give yourself extra credit for having to deal with that stress on top of whatever is putting you in that position in the first place. Thats a lot at once
You are leading by example and showing others that you would never expect them to hurt or overextend themselves for your benefit. Putting yourself first always inspires other to do the same.
Please be proud of yourself for even considering canceling and putting your needs first. That is so strong of you <3
#rants & reflections#chronic pain rant#chronic pain#disability advocacy#disability community#disabled community#disability rights#chronic illness vent#undiagnosed chronic illness#chronic illness community#chronic illness rant#chronic illness#chronic pain problems#undiagnosed chronic pain#fibromyalgia#dysautonomia#spoonies#physical disability#chronic fatigue#ehlers danlos syndrome#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#craniocervical instability#migraine#cluster headaches#tmd#heds#neck pain#back pain#chronic headaches
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The Greek gods and how willing they are to fuck Odysseus (at least according to me)
Not doing all of them, there’s so many
Zeus: He most def would, but not because Ody is special. Like, it’s Zeus, the man would fuck anything as long as it’s breathing. I do think he’d enjoy the pleasure of messing with his older brother though, so he’s extra into it for that
Poseidon: Oh yes. He’d deny it if asked, but he wants to fuck him so badly
Hades: I think he’d fuck him mainly to see what all the hype is about. And to mess with Poseidon of course
Hera: Nah, she’s surprisingly loyal. Which like bitch why
Hestia: Asexual queen
Demeter: She has no idea who Odysseus is tbh. Don’t think she’d be too into it anyways
Apollo: Yeah! That’s not a good thing for Ody tho, as it never ends well for Apollo’s mortal lovers. Mans might be in danger
Artemis: Asexual lesbian queen
Athena: See with her, I don’t know. Their bond is strictly platonic, but I don’t think they’d be against the idea of fucking each other. I do think she’d make him fight for it
Ares: Now for most of the duration of the musical, no I do not think he’d be interested. But after he repeatedly stabs Poseidon with a trident? Oh boy
Aphrodite: Yeah, he’s just her type! Tough warrior that’s secretly a sub :)
Hermes: Mans been willing to fuck him for a long ass time, like I’m impressed by his level of self restraint actually
Dionysus: Is in the same seat as Demeter in that he has little idea of who this dude actually is. Don’t think he’d turn him down though
Hephaestus: I don’t think so, but I have no concrete reason for that answer. Vibe check
Aeolus: No thanks :)
#Tell me I’m wrong if you want to :)#epic#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Manwhore AU#Feels fitting to be here#odysseus#epic odysseus#epic zeus#epic poseidon#Epic Hades#Epic Hera#Epic Hestia#Epic Demeter#Epic Apollo#Epic Artemis#Epic Athena#Epic Ares#epic aphrodite#Epic Hermes#Epic Dionysus#epic hephaestus#epic aeolus#These tags just sounds like I’m very hype about all the gods
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The Only Exception
Plot: Bakugou hates everyone but YN, the only one who softens his tough exterior.
Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t known for his friendliness. In fact, the opposite was true. He was brash, loud, and always seemed to have a scowl on his face. Most people avoided him, and that was exactly how he liked it. Except for one person: YN.
No one could understand how someone like YN, always smiling and filled with sunshine, could handle someone as explosive as Bakugou. It didn’t make sense. Bakugou seemed to hate everyone, but for some reason, when it came to YN, his attitude completely shifted.
The moment YN entered the common room, his eyes softened. She bounced in, her usual cheerful self, waving to everyone in the room.
“Hey, guys!” she called out, her smile lighting up the space. Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima waved back, used to her bright personality.
Mina leaned in and whispered to Kirishima, “Watch. He’s gonna melt the second she talks to him.”
Sure enough, YN walked over to Bakugou, who was slouched on the couch, arms crossed and glaring at the TV. His scowl softened just slightly as she approached.
“Hey, Katsuki,” she said softly, sitting down beside him.
“Tch, what do you want?” he grumbled, but there was no bite to his words. In fact, he shifted slightly, making more room for her to sit closer.
She grinned. “Just wanted to see what you were up to.”
He huffed, his eyes still glued to the screen. “I’m watching a stupid show ‘cause these extras can’t pick a decent channel.”
“Hey!” Kaminari called out from across the room, clearly offended. “This show is awesome!”
Bakugou ignored him, his focus still on YN. She just laughed and leaned into his side. To everyone else, Bakugou was intimidating and aggressive. But with YN, it was like he was a completely different person.
“Wanna get some fresh air?” she asked, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him.
He glanced at her for a moment, then shrugged. “Whatever. I was getting sick of sitting around with these idiots anyway.”
As they stood up, the rest of the group exchanged knowing looks. Bakugou had always been protective of YN, and while he seemed to hate everyone else, it was clear to everyone that he was softer when she was around.
Once they were outside, YN breathed in deeply, enjoying the cool air. Bakugou walked beside her, his hands shoved into his pockets. His usual tense expression had eased, and he glanced at her every so often as if making sure she was okay.
“You’re the only one who gets away with making me do stupid stuff like this,” he muttered under his breath.
YN smiled, nudging him playfully. “That’s because you secretly love it.”
He scoffed but didn’t deny it. She had a way of breaking down the walls he built around himself, and he didn’t mind it when it was her.
They walked in comfortable silence for a while until YN suddenly stopped. “Katsuki?”
“Hm?” He turned to face her, raising an eyebrow.
“Why are you so different with me?”
The question seemed to catch him off guard, and for a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. His usual bravado faltered, and he shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”
“You’re…kinder. I mean, not to everyone, but with me, you don’t act the same.”
Bakugou looked away, his jaw tightening as if struggling to find the right words. Finally, he let out a sigh. “Because you’re different.”
She blinked, surprised by his answer. “Different how?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly frustrated with himself. “You’re not annoying like the rest of them,” he muttered. “You don’t piss me off. I don’t feel like I have to be on guard with you.”
YN smiled softly, stepping closer to him. “So, you don’t hate me?”
He rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched slightly, like he was holding back a smile. “No, idiot. You’re the only one I don’t hate.”
Her heart fluttered at his words, and before she could stop herself, she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Bakugou stiffened for a moment, not used to physical affection like this, but then he relaxed, his arms hesitantly wrapping around her.
“Tch, you’re such a pain,” he mumbled, though his hold on her tightened ever so slightly.
YN just grinned into his chest. “You love it.”
And though he would never admit it out loud, she knew he did.
#jxwl4k#x reader#anime#fanfic#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#mha katsuki bakugo#mha oneshot#mha fluff#mha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha bakugou#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou x you#bakugou fluff#bakugo katuski#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#bakugou x y/n
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hand holding , multi. ₊˚ ♱
♱ note . aaa hi my loves ! sorry for the lack of inactivity (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞.. i’ve got a few fics in the drafts to make up for it! here is part one.
♱ characters . muichiro , inosuke , zenitsu , genya , tanjiro
♱ warnings . head canons, angst on genya’s part if you squint
muichiro’s hands are tough from the consistencies of training and hard work, didn’t became a hashira in 2-3 months for nothing. but it isn’t sandpaper bad. cuts liter his palms often — also gets some what clammy
his hands are average in size for his age, or even dainty. he has slim fingers with average sized palms.
his nails run a little unkempt and are sometimes cracked, his cuticles are a little roughed up from fighting. also doesn’t care much for nail care but likes it when you take care of it for him, or even tells you to do it — he likes the feeling of your hands on his; the warmth radiating from your hands is pleasurable.
he gets a lot of cuts often, sometimes when he’s reading he gets on purpose to ask you to help him tend them or bandage his wounds, he likes your touch, a lot.
extra. physical touch is actually one of his love languages and quality time, which is why he does these on purpose.
if you scold him he would have puppy eyes and say it won’t happen again ( it will ).
^ but is happy you care for his wellbeing!!
defiantly plays and / or massages with your fingers. traces the wrinkles on your hands, oh and also kisses your fingers one by one so very gently and lovingly, like if he pushed down too hard you’ll shatter like glass
his fingers are cold but not uncomfortably so it’s comforting to feel on a warm day
swings your hands when your holding hands
his grip is soft and he likes intertwining your hands, he gets this stupid little smile and can’t stop staring at both your hands intertwined
he doesn’t care who stares or comments he loves holding your hands so it happens often, if he can’t for some reason he’ll hold your inner arm or a piece of your clothing ( most likely your hoari / back of your shirt )
genyas’s hands are on the rough side, but his touch is still just as gentle despite the textured skin. because of him eating demon flesh gives the after effects of his skin being more thick and hard.
especially his fingers from using a gun instead of a kitana
his hands are above average with wide fingers, most likely from him eating demon flesh. but nevertheless his hands temperature can go from warm and cold, it mostly runs on cold though.
he has a few cuts littering his fingers but they disappear as much as they appear.
when he ‘becomes’ a demon his nails grow more than his average and more sharper, has a hue of yellow and black — naturally, his nails are sorta uneven and short.
he likes it when you offer to cut his nails and take care of it for him, it saves him trouble but feels bad he’s letting you take care of it and not him, so he tries to help the best he cans.
his hands are clammy when you hold hands cause of how flustered and nervous he is, but you don’t comment or mind it.
his grip is loose, but tender. it firms up at times—like while in a crowd so he won’t lose you or in vulnerable moments
sanemi used to hold his hands when younger and those memories come around his minds when he spaces out while holding your hand, it usually causes his grip to firm up and if you comment how hard he’s squeezing your hand he’ll apologize and stop
he’s flustered and embarrassed holding your hand in public but is proud of himself if he initiated it first. generally way more affectionate in private but still gets red
extra . you two could be watching fireworks at a festival and then he goes in and holds your hand while your looking at the fireworks aaa
so by that, holding hands with him is somewhat rare, unless if your overly affectionate then it would be way more, he doesn’t mind it or anything he’s just shy doing pda — you could just hug him and he’s tomato red.
tanjiro’s hands are pretty rough for the high amounts of training and combats he’s endured especially after the hashiras’ training, but nothing like sand paper bad like inosuke’s. there’s a few cuts littering his fingers but it isn’t major
his hands are above average with slightly slim fingers.
his hands run on the slightly above average size, his hands run warm; good for the winter!
his nails are taken care of, not as much as it was before. trims his nails short from time to time since they grow a bit long since he neglects nail care often.
but offers to do yours! if you aren’t good at taking care of yourself cause of your living circumstances as a demon slayer then he’s happy to do it for you even if you can for yourself — he’s happy to help you.
likes it when you do it for him also, the touch of your hand will always be a enjoyment for him!!
tanjiro’s grip is tender yet firm, you’re one of his reason to live and fight for and would do anything to protect you at all costs. he squeezes your hands especially if either of you came back from a mission.
hand holding with him is regular, if you are a demon slayer then he holds your hand while walking to or back from your missions. he also holds your hands for comfort, expect in serious situations.
inosuke’s hands are rough, he grew up on the mountains so his hands are somewhat close to sandpaper texture, though his hands get clammy. he has scars and cuts on his hands—one or two bruises—cuts regularly pop up.
his hands are above average with big palms and thick fingers, it’s regular for his hands to have dirt on them
his nails and cuticles aren’t the greatest compared to when you took care of them for him, he does a lot of training so his hands’ appearances take the brute of it.
more times than none he’ll accept your help on keeping them trim and dirt free, but he doesn’t really try much to help since it feels a tad pointless to him, but he likes your hands on his.
while training he’s prone to a lot of nail crack/breaking and half the time it slips his mind unless it scratches his skin or something. in which he stops training to search for you to help him clean it.
extra . the same actually goes to muichiro and genya ^ lmao
inosuke’s grip is all over the place, his hold is clammy and there’s always dirt involved to an extent. he’s not really sure how to do the whole hand holding without squeezing too hard and breaking your hand or holding it too loose he loses your hand
he gets jealous if you hold someone else’s hand for helping them and will turn it into a competition for the other person of who held your hand the most, and the person is like : ????
you can scold him but it doesn’t sound very scary coming from you, but it makes him feel fuzzy when you express you care for him.
extra . probably ruins the pure moment by saying lord inosuke can handle anything and then you go along saying that you forgot he’s the the king of the mountain and that he can endure anything LMAO
holding hands with inosuke he’s secretly touch starved so he’ll sometimes take to holding other parts of you if your hands are busy or he really tends to silently hug you
zenitsu’s hands are average in size, they run stupidly warm and occasionally clammy when he’s flustered.
his cuticles and nails are unbothered, surprisingly his nails are cut since he takes care of himself often.
LOVES it when you take care of his nails and you both talk about everything and nothing, or just a silence is so nice with your hands on his — and defiantly looks at you with a awe expression
holding hands with zenitsu is common. he’s lovesick and touch starved, especially for comfort or reassurance when he’s scared.
when you first held his hand was probably for reassurance, his hands was clammy during the time since he was flustered by your action — and scared of the demons — but it was nothing you minded
another one who would swing your hands ^^
saying he will protect you while holding your hand tightly and eyes moist, threatening to almost sob from fear.
extra . he probably feels ashamed because all he did was cry and then you reassure him it’s alright since it’s literally flesh eating demons and you both were about to piss your pants
defiantly sees couples comparing hand sizes and intertwining their hands slowly, then has a thought of wanting to do it with you. ( you both did )
his grip is firm and soft, he knows how to hold a woman’s hand and treats you delicately, though what i said before he does hold your hand too tight, apologizes if he thinks it’s too tight but sometimes doesn’t notice because of the fear he’s accumulating
#︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵#zenitsu x reader#zenitsu agatsuma#inosuke x reader#inosuke hashibira#genya x reader#genya shinazugawa#muichiro x reader#muichiro tokito#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kny x reader#demon slayer x reader#fluff#kny fluff#genya fluff#inosuke fluff#tanjiro fluff#zenitsu fluff#muichiro fluff
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if you keep asking | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader
a/n: this was requested with “if you keep asking me i’m not gonna be okay” or smth along the lines 😭 i am a glutton for hurt/comfort fics so if yall have any more requests send em in :)
summary: in which you’re trying to keep it together when you hear some detectives talking ill of you, and spencer isn’t gonna have it
cw: hurt/comfort, self deprecation, insecure!reader, bitch ass detectives, protective bau my heart, use of she/her pronouns
wc: 2.2k
_______
the bau team was filing into the bullpen after landing from their last case in seattle, everyone making a beeline for their desks to get a head start on their reports so they could go home faster. everyone, except you. it felt like you were on autopilot, remembering your last known movements and just repeating them for as long as you could.
the case in seattle was rough to say the least. the unsub’s mo seemed to change every minute, making any progress the team made obsolete. the only thing that seemed to be somewhat consistent was where the unsub was taking his victims, which meant the geographical profile was the most important part to solving the case, a task you and reid were assigned to.
it started off fine, you both had found the comfort zone of where the unsub would strike next to figure out how to catch him in the act. except the next time he struck it was completely out of the predicted range, and this time a kid had died. no one could have anticipated that happening. it didn’t make the loss hurt any less.
the team knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, humans are unpredictable, and that includes serial killers. spencer made sure to tell you specifically that it wasn’t your fault, he knew how you’d get if someone didn’t tell you.
his efforts went to utter waste when you walked by a room at the precinct with detectives whispering about how “you fucked up the whole profile, that’s why that kid died” and “it’s clear you make the team stupider, how did you even get into the fbi in the first place?”
it wasn’t the first time your abilities were in question. you were the newest member of the team, having only transferred six months ago from cold cases. you may be new to the field, but there was a reason hotch chose you personally for the bau.
you tried hard to prove yourself, despite pretty much everyone saying your skillset was enough proof. you’d stay late to finish reports, do extra research on cases to help garcia narrow her searches faster, and you spent countless hours at the training range.
you were a worthy agent, anyone who knew you or read your resume knew that. but right now, you felt like the smallest person on earth, an imposter. what the hell were you even doing here if you couldn’t save him.
you shouldn’t be allowed to feel relief that the team caught the unsub, not when there’s blood on your hands.
the bad thoughts swirling in your head causes you to stall your motions when you’re putting files away, gaining the attention of morgan, “you alright, sweet cheeks?”
“i’m good morgan, don’t worry.” you lie effortlessly. if he can tell you’re lying, he doesn’t mention it and turns back to his work.
taking a deep breath, you stand up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, when you run into jj finishing up making her own, “i was just thinking about you, i got this new creamer i think you’d rea-, hey, are you okay?” jj starts but ends concerned.
you try to focus on metronomic tick of the clock so you dont escalate, “i’m fine j,” you laugh unconvincingly, “what creamer did you get?”
she ignores your question, “because i know that was a tough case, and if you need to talk about it with someo-“
“jj, drop it, please.”
the blonde’s face drops a little at your sternness, but respects your space and offers you to try the creamer before returning to her desk. you feel bad for snapping at her, but the growing guilt within you is giving you apathy, and you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment.
you linger in the kitchen so as to avoid any more concerned faces, and you’re left to your own devices that are slowly overtaking you.
unbeknownst to you, spencer had been watching you since you all landed back in quantico. he kept his distance, mostly because he knew how overwhelmed you get at confrontation, especially about your emotions. he was the same way, a man of logic getting befuddled by emotion was enough cognitive dissonance to last a long time.
he knew it was different with you. you had a way of internalizing everything in your surrounding, a downfall to your endless empathy for others even if they never deserve it. he could explain the logic behind your beliefs, and hopefully use facts to help you relax, but that was the other thing he knew about you; you were stubborn. asking for help is something you hated doing, and if it wasn’t on your accord to be asking, it was even more detrimental to your mood.
so when he watched you duck out from the kitchen and push past the glass doors of the bullpen, he knew you were reaching the head of your doom spiral quickly.
spencer got up from his desk, “i’m gonna go check on her.”
jj nodded, “just be mindful spence, something feels different.”
they’d all been on cases that hit a little too close to home, how could they not when all they do is rid the world of the evilest of evildoers. but after a good cry, a rant to a teammate, or even an emergency therapy session, even the worst of the scum could be washed away.
something about the way you’ve been acting since they landed seemed like those fixits aren’t going to work this time.
he let out a sigh in response and walked out of the bullpen, realizing he didn’t actually know which direction you went in. assuming you’d want to be alone, he thinks the bathroom might’ve been a viable option for you and heads towards it.
the nice thing about the seventh floor is that it’s only for the bau, the bullpen was where the team spent most of their time but outside the doors there were so many empty rooms being used for storage.
so as spencer walked towards the bathroom in the hopes of finding you, his ears pick up on a tiny sniffle a little ways before it. he stops in his tracks, hoping he was just hearing things. but another pained sob rang through the door on his left, and he knew he’d found you.
he rapps the door a few times, softly calling your name, “hey, it’s spencer…can i come in please?”
you were on the other side sitting at one of the abandoned desks with your head down, but shot up at hearing spencer’s voice, “i- i’m fine i just needed a minute. i’ll be back in like two minutes, i promise.” you angrily wipe at the tears pooling on your face, grateful that you took your makeup off in the plane.
“honey, that’s not what i asked,” he starts, “is it okay if i come in?
your heart clenches at the term of endearment as you stare at the door knowing he was waiting for your okay to come in, and you start to internally weigh your options. you could let him in, and let him in to do whatever comforting you know logically would help. or you could lie, and feign ignorance to the end.
don’t they say ignorance is bliss?
you make sure to wipe the last of your tears and your runny nose before practicing a few fake smiles so it didn’t look like your face was frozen in sadness for the last thirty minutes. turning the knob you swing the door open, borderline creepy smile on your face as you greet the man, “hi dr. reid! was there something you were looking for?”
he furrows his brows at your complete (fake) shift in mood, but he comes in and shuts the door behind him, and moves to stand a few feet from you, “what’s going on?”
“nothing spence, i’m fine.” you insist.
spencer thinks if you could be more see through you’d be a windexed window. you’re avoiding eye contact with him, picking at the skin of your thumb, he can see your nose is red most likely from all the tissue blowing, and your eyes are still puffy and lined with some unshed tears still. you are so clearly breaking at the seams, like an old childhood teddy bear with stuffing falling out the sides yet hoping you can offer some semblance of stability despite your state.
“you don’t look fine, honey. why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”
his words almost make you falter, and you think the walls you built so high are starting to chip down. “it’s not a big deal spence, i-,” a hiccuped breath gives you away, “i can deal with it on my own.”
spencer instinctively shortens the gap between you two, “you shouldn’t have to. i just wanna help you.”
“but i’m oka-“
“no you’re not.”
there is only one tiny thin thread left holding you together. “well,” you take a deep inhale and your voice gets impossibly small, “if you keep saying things like to me i’m not gonna be okay.”
“that’s why i’m here.” he says softly.
you look up at him with the biggest glassy doe eyed look he’s ever seen, and it’s like spencer can hear the snap of the thread in real time when he watches your face absolutely crumble. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, allowing him to hold your head down in the middle of his chest while his other hand smooths up and down your back in comfort.
“i know, shh, hey it’s okay, i got you.” he comforts.
your hands wrap around his waist beneath his suit jacket and you keep your face buried in his chest, inhaling the musky vanilla scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh laundry detergent smell letting it ground you back to him.
“i’m sorry.” you cry.
“don’t say that,” he hushes, “is it about the case?” you nod in his embrace, “we talked about it remember? there was nothing we could have done. we did everything right, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know that.” he moves his hand to tangle in your hair and rub your head.
“i- i know,” you say through labored breaths. you take a big breath before admitting the true reason for your anguish, “when we were about to leave, i walked by a room with some detectives talking about how i ruined the case and that…i’m the reason the kid died.”
“what?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes hoping to find any indication that you didn’t believe those poisoned words, “we both worked on that geographical profile together, the whole team agreed it was accurate and acted accordingly. what happened was not your fault. at all.” he emphasizes the last two words.
“yeah but…i don’t know maybe i could ha-“
“stop. you can’t do that to yourself. we did what we could with what we had, the burden of that child’s passing does not fall on you. we were only able to find the unsub’s hiding spot when you figured out he’d been going to the same gas station since the murders started.” he reinforced to you.
“they said that they didn’t know how i even got into the academy in the first place, and that i make the team stupider.” you quietly added.
spencer felt the rage consume his body, already planning the ways he was going to obliterate seattle pd. he cradled your head to look at him in the eyes, “listen to me. you are an important asset to this team. you make this team better at what they do, you make me better at what i do. you mean so much to me and the team okay? please don’t forget that.”
he swipes at a fallen tear on your cheek as you tell him between sniffles, “thanks spence…” you hope he understands the sentiment and love you’re trying to exude to him, even thought you’re unable to vocalize it.
“you gotta tell me if something like that happens,” he softly scolds you, “i’ll make sure they lose their fucking jobs.”
you’re about to speak when he cuts you off, “and don’t tell me that we should be the bigger people, because once the rest of the team hears about this, they’re all gonna be fighting over who’s gonna kick the shit out of them.”
you let out a tearful giggle, “you sound really funny when you curse.”
he scoffs, “what the hell, i do not!”
“you sound like a baby duckling that just learned how to say fuck.”
he starts to guide you out of the room and towards hotch’s office so you can recount what happened, “ouch, i’m hurt. i’d like to think the pistol and fbi badge i carry makes me intimidating.”
you giggle again, and spencer puts aside his rage to revel in the fact that you’re feeling better.
when hotch learned of what happened he immediately called seattle pd to file a motion to get those detectives fired, and the rest of the team were secretly praying for a case in seattle again so they could, as spencer predicted, kick the shit out of them.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid headcanon#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fanfiction
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. ⋆ ๑ wrapped around your finger
summary: reader is a new medical intern for the lvaces and tension runs high every time they interact, finally breaking after a tough game
request: no / yes
warnings: 18+ smut, rpf
a/n: this is my first kate fic so go easy on me lmfao and i got lowkey carried away it’s around 2k words so ummmm ya purr i guess
back in april, you landed a medical internship for the las vegas aces, just in time for the excitement of draft season. not only did your job enable you to interact daily with some of the most talented athletes in basketball, but perfectly coexisted with your interests in pursuing medicine. so far, your standard role was to examine and prepare players before and after games, including team practices. any injuries or concerns were also taken care of by you. however, being shy was an issue you still had to overcome. treating players with their kinesiology tape or bringing them necessities was always attempted to be a quick motion; hurriedly fixing them up and moving on to the next task.
but some players proved to make that difficult for you. coming into work on an average day, you found yourself kneeling at the foot of the newly drafted guard— kate martin. when she had got unexpectedly chosen by the aces, you sat watching from home, marveled by her tall stature and pin straight blonde hair. she was even more alluring in person, especially from the view of applying tape to her ankles and legs every other day.
“you know the drill, just keep your foot upright and i’ll get your ankle,” you murmured, looking up at kate as she was sat in front of you. her big blue eyes met yours, and she smirked without comment. quickly averting your gaze, you pressed your lips together in an attempt to keep composure.
one thing you had learned since she joined the team was that she occasionally enjoyed poking fun at your timid mannerisms.
“loosen up a little, girl,” kate playfully punched your shoulder, “i don’t bite”.
the gesture made you laugh and mumble some unnecessary apology, but you still felt her gaze even after you looked back down. trying to focus on the task at hand was nearly impossible in this position, being on your knees before her. as you pulled more tape, your mind raced of all the things you could do to each other. if one day you could set the professionalism aside and just push her legs apart—
“you’re my favorite medical person, you know that? you always get me right,” kate continued, knowing exactly what she was doing.
you snapped out of your thoughts and felt your face grow hot, looking back up at her. “thank you,” you said, barely getting it out, “a-and you’re all set now by the way.” kate thanked you with a slight chuckle, and was up and ready for practice.
——————————————————————————
it was interactions like these that kept you up at night. all the eye contact, suggestive gestures, and tension was enough to drive you crazy. you endlessly wondered if kate had meant to fuel the tension, or if it was all just in your head. regardless, these moments made you excited to come into work every day, anticipating the next exchange you two would have.
the entire next month of your internship consisted of increasingly tense encounters with kate, with each one wondering when she would just make a move. she had started to admiringly stroke your hair while you were knelt in front of her, knowing how much it would turn you on. every once in a while she would give your hair a light tug to make you look up for no good reason other than to get a good look at you. once you understood she was taking things a smidge further, you had no problem getting a little extra touchy when handling her legs, or simply handing her things like a towel or water bottle. you ran your hands up her legs in an “innocent” manner, both of you knowing damn well you were ready to find a secluded space together.
your favorite moments to see her were before and after big games. the way her pregame excitedness would be contagious, and the way after the game she would still have energy despite being tired. this day, kate was getting ready to play in a game with high expectations for the aces. you gathered all the things she might need, and headed into the locker room, where most of her teammates were already gone. you spotted her standing right in front of her designated space, and walked towards her. kate smiled knowingly when she saw you, and didn’t move out of the way as you bent past her to set down the water and towel in her cubby. your hips grazed each other when suddenly you felt her arms snake around your lower back. you slowly got back upright, and kate kept her arms around you, moving her hands to each side of your waist.
her big hands planted on your waist took your breath away as there was no escaping her now. face to face, kate kept her gaze on you.
“i was wondering when you’d come by,” she taunted.
you swallowed thickly, your mouth hung open but the words would not come out. even after a month, she still intimidated you with her beauty.
“i’m just joking, relax,” kate said, laughing lightly.
“i know. i just had to go find the best materials for you,” you joked back, trying to keep your cool and ignore the growing heat between your legs.
kate smiled back at you, sensing how needy you were becoming. “same time back here after the game?” she questioned, her voice low.
“of course. good luck tonight, kate,” you said back.
——————————————————————————
it was a tough loss for the aces. the final score came close, but ultimately the team returned to the locker room in low spirits. the loss was hard on you too, seeing kate frustrated out on the court, but you still had to do your job. giving everyone postgame materials and accessing injuries, you noticed to have treated everyone except kate. you craned your neck around the locker room, looking for the long blonde ponytail, but she was nowhere to be seen. eventually, the team had left for the night. you were left cleaning up after them, still wondering where your favorite player was.
you had your back turned from the entrance and putting away your supplies when you heard footsteps coming towards the room. your heart immediately began to race and you turned around to see kate standing a few yards in front of you, with an exhausted but eager expression on her face.
her eyes pierced through you, and your mind raced trying to think of something to say, but it was a blur as she quickly walked to you and took your face in her hands, kissing you deeply. your body tensed up at the surprise, but quickly melted down as you remembered how long you had been waiting for this moment.
it was a hungry kiss, with her hands moving down to your waist and pulling you closer. kate completely took control of you and backed you against the wall. in the heat of the moment, you decided it was your turn to tease her.
“where.....the hell.......were you.....” you said breathlessly between kisses. kate instantly pulled away from you and scoffed.
“just talking with the coaches, baby.”
her breathless tone made you weak in the knees and she immediately went back to making out with you. her hands found their way under your shirt and began exploring all over your waist. she passionately bit at your bottom lip as she moved her cold hands up to your tits, which she desperately squeezed at. the cold touch being in just the right place earned a little whimper from your lips. kate giggled against the kiss, finding amusement in getting you so needy so fast.
you felt slightly embarrassed at how easy you were being, and decided to switch it up on kate. maintaining the kiss, you made your way back to her bench, and pushed her down. you knelt down in front of her just as you did when you took care of her, but now your dirty thoughts were becoming a reality. kate did not protest being sat down and instead threw her head back, resting it right below her name plate— “K. Martin”.
your view from the kneel made your head spin tonight, with her face still sweaty and her messy hair slightly sticking to her face. she was still out of breath and tiredly looked down at you as you parted her legs. you kept the eye contact as you gestured for her to lift her hips in order to slide down her shorts. once off, you threw them elsewhere in the room, and positioned yourself further inbetween her legs. you looked up at her one more time and saw her chest rising and falling with every movement, her eyebrows furrowed in desperation.
“here? right now? are you sure, kate?” you questioned, half taunting half being serious. you placed your hand on her inner thigh and began slowly circling her clit. she bucked her hips up at the sudden touch.
“please...please...” kate whispered, and you felt your stomach flip. all of the nights she teased you and seemed so tough were now out the window as she begged you to continue.
looking around the room, there was no sign of life besides you and kate. you turned back to her and urged her to stay quiet before going down on her. your tongue skillfully lapped around her clit and she let out a strangled cry.
“shhhhh kate you’re doing so good,” you whispered against her wetness.
you brought your fingers up to her entrance and began circling around it before slowly inserting two fingers. you kept the sucking at a steady pace but began to finger her quickly. looking up at kate, her eyes were screwed shut and stomach tense. she was biting down hard on her lip, struggling to stay quiet. her constant little moans single-handedly almost made you finish, but you focused on her.
you continued eating her out as if she was going to disappear from under you, and picked up the pace. your left hand remained on her thigh and you felt her grab hold of it. she breathed hard as her other hand landed in your hair, lightly pushing your head and grasping your hair. you smiled thinking back to the times when she would have her hands in your hair while innocently getting taped up; oh how fast things can change.
“i-i’m gonna....” kate cried out, squirming beneath you and clearly reaching her limit.
the fast pace combined with tongue and fingers finally brought her to her release. kate moaned your name breathlessly over and over as she came on your fingers. eventually you stopped and she was able to ride out the high.
as soon as kate caught her breath she got you up off the ground and put you in her spot. she got on her knees and tugged at your pants.
“kate don’t you think we should stop... someone probably heard us-“
she didn’t even let you finish your sentence before she inserted her long fingers into you. kate did not hold back as she kept an unrelenting pace and began to kiss you. you moaned and panted into the kiss, struggling to kiss back.
you gave up on trying to kiss back and threw your head back, raspy moans escaping from your puffed lips. her fingers felt so good inside of you, hitting the spot with each thrust. she didn’t even need to do anything except finger you, and you were already close. you tried to moan her name but could only get out the “k” sound.
“just take it,” she demanded, getting frustrated you couldn’t kiss back.
kate began kissing down your neck and leaving very apparent hickeys all over. all you could do was moan as she took care of you, your eyes tearing up from the euphoric feeling. you tugged on her hair as you felt yourself on the edge of release. the way your hips squirmed and tears fell down your face told kate that you were ready and nodded at you to come.
her pace slowed as you relaxed from the climax and she began gently kissing your face. she wiped your tears with her other hand and ran her fingers through your messy hair.
“i got you wrapped around my finger, my favorite intern girl,” kate laughed.
“you’re so corny.”
“you.”
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Novice - JJK (18+)
Pairing: Pornstar!Jungkook X Fem!Reader
Theme: PWP (porn with tiny plot), SMUT, pornstar au
Wordcount: 3k
Summary: The need of some extra money lands you on a weird job. But you are not complaining, not when you get to fuck Jeon Jungkook.
Warnings: Explicit sex, porn movie shooting, mentions of pros**tution, Jungkook is a smooth flirt, reader is nervous and shy, inexperienced reader, a little bit of flirting, missionary position, unprotected sex. NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
Read the sequel: We Need Practice
Honestly, you have no idea what you are doing here.
You have been zoning out for the past ten minutes.
Keeping your focus trained on what’s waiting for you ahead is a little tough. Especially when it’s 2 degree celsius outside and you are wearing nothing but a thin camisole and flimsy underwear.
Even though the heater is in full blast, you require to have some clothes on your body to enjoy whatever warmth it has been offering.
You question your sanity once again. Are you really doing this? You out of all people? You - the goodie two shoes?
Yeah, the situation has been like that lately.
You are in need of some extra money because some fucker voiced-phised you and you, being dumber than ever, gave them your company card number and pin. Now you owe 200 million won to your company and you don’t even have 10% of the amount to do anything about it.
Right at that time, one of your friends knocked on your door asking for a favor.
“Please, Y/N! You are perfect for the role!” she pleaded.
“What are you even saying? I don’t even have any experience-”
“That’s exactly what we want - a novice.”
And you landed on the deal or role or whatever the fuck it is, in an exchange of 250 million won. By the way, did I mention that they have paid you 50% of the amount already?
It’s good money and a one-time opportunity. All you need to do is to get fucked on camera, get the pay and avoid showing your face around this place anymore.
As simple as that.
Or as simple as you thought.
But now that you are already at the set and ready to feature in a porn movie.. You are rather nervous.
Even though they assured you and added the “blurred-face” term to your contract, it’s nerve-wracking and for multiple reasons.
First, you have almost zero experience of sex. And must I mention that you never had an orgasm in your entire life?
Second, the concept of the film is complicated. There is only one male lead but three female leads (including you). But it’s not poly. The guy plays the role of a male prostitute, who pleasures three different women with three different stages of experience. The first woman is a pro, second one is amateur and third one, you, is a novice.
The first shoot was almost over when you arrived at the set and the cast went to prepare for the second shoot. Hence, you haven’t gotten to see the guy you would be having sex with.
And it’s unsettling.
You only heard his name but couldn’t muster up the courage to search him up. What if you don’t like his face and back off? You will have to repay the 50% of the advance along with a 5% of contract violation fee. And you certainly can’t afford to do that now.
So you held on, arrived at the studio as per instructions, got your clothes and hair done and now you are waiting for them to call you outside.
“Ms. Y/N?” A voice calls you from the door and breaks your reverie. “Let’s go” the staff smiles.
You stand up and follow her outside the green room.
As you approach the main shooting set all you hear is, well, moans and groans. And those get louder and louder with each passing second.
“Sit here.” the staff says. “You can observe what they are doing and prepare yourself in the meantime. We’ll brief you on the scenes once they are done.” she places a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
Too bad, ‘cause you are anything but reassured now.
“So this is how you like to be fucked? Like the bitch that you are? You slut!” the groan of the man invades each of your senses and you are shocked to say the least.
Is this how you are going to be treated here? You think to yourself. A shiver runs down your body when the sound of a sharp slap echoes inside the almost calm studio. Then another, then another. But the woman seems to enjoy it all. Her moans and whines keep getting louder.
You find your throat closing up with fear. Will you be able to enjoy it too? Or will you fuck things up?
You suddenly feel hot and sticky right between your legs. What the fuck? Are you really getting wet? Just with the sounds?
Squeezing your eyes shut you try to think of all the things you can do with the extra 50 million won.
“Great work, guys!” a loud cheer and sound of applause halt your activities. You open your eyes to measure the surroundings.
First you see the female lead coming out of the set with a cloth wrapped all around herself. She disappears with her assistant within seconds, even before you could see her face.
Then the man walks out, wearing almost nothing.
A towel is wrapped loosely around his torso and his bare body is on full view for you to enjoy.
You gulp.
The man is chugging down water as if he has been wandering in deserts for years. Your eyes fall on his Adam's apple at first, then on his glistening collarbones, his built chest, his toned abs, small waist and then on his torso.
Your anticipation makes you gulp again.
When you finally manage to drag your eyes up, you see him already staring and smirking at you.
And fuck! You choke on your own spit because you have never seen a more handsome man in your life.
Initially you thought Jeon Jungkook would be a pervert-looking middle aged ajussi but this guy looks like he is your age.
Your friends would actually pay to get fucked by a guy this hot. But you are getting it all for free? Must’ve saved your country in past life or something.
When Jungkook winks at you, you realize you have been staring at him for too long. And now you feel embarrassed.
Lord! What have you been doing!
“That’s it. I hope you have understood, Ms. Y/N?” The director peeks at you expectantly.
“I guess.. So.” You reply with a lot of doubts still playing in your mind.
“There is nothing to be nervous of,Y/N. We are not gonna send this movie to the Oscars, so you don’t have to think too much about your acting. Just do the bare minimum. Do what you are told. Jungkook will take care of the rest.” He gives you a kind smile.
You nod, reminding yourself that you need money and this is the only way.
“You guys will blur my face right?” you ask him with a low voice.
“We will. You can sue us if we don’t.” he chuckles.
You feel your nervousness and fears subsiding a bit… only to reach the peak in seconds.
“Hyung, are we good to go?” Jungkook appears from one of the green rooms, wearing his casual outfit - a white t-shirt with loose jeans.
He smiles down at you and you struggle to return his courtesy.
“Yeah, we are almost done here. Take care of Ms. Y/N, Jeon. She is very nervous.” the director gestures Jungkook to sit beside you.
Jungkook sits down with a respectable distance between you two and takes a tentative look at you before saying, “hyung, we have some time before the shoot starts right?”
The director nods a yes.
“Then.. let me talk to Y/N for a bit.”
“Yeah sure, go ahead.”
And they leave you alone with your co-star.
“Hey.” Jungkook says sweetly once you are alone in the makeshift secluded space.
“Hi.” you reply with a quiet trembling of a voice.
Jungkook chuckles at that.
“Cute.” you hear him murmuring under his breath.
“This is your first time, I guess?” He asks.
“Yeah and the last time as well.” you reply urgently, avoiding meeting his eyes as much as possible.
His eyes widen at your response, “why so?”
“I just need some extra money. So you know.. It’s a one time thing for me.”
“Oh..” Jungkook breathes out and then says, “then I will make sure it’s something you remember your entire life. I know you don’t have much experience but I won’t push you to do something crazy. I will be gentle, don’t worry. Just leave yourself up to me, relax and enjoy.” with that he rests one of his hands on top of yours and gives you a sickeningly sweet smile.
Now you don’t know how you are supposed to stay calm when your co-star’s mere presence is this nerve-wrecking.
“Okay. Cut” the director screams as you and Jungkook complete shooting the non-sexual scenes.
“You are pretty good, you know?” Jungkook slides beside you as you stand there preparing yourself for the big thing ahead.
“Ah. thanks. You are very impressive as well. I mean three times in a row is no joke. Aren’t you tired?” you reply, finally staring into his eyes.
Jungkook’s big doe, beautiful eyes almost defy the fact that he is in this business. Almost because once your eyes move lower on his body, you’ll have to admit that this is certainly his place to shine.
“I have a record of six times in a day, sweetie.” he smirks at you while winking at the same time. Your stomach flips involuntarily.
“Jungkook, Y/N, are you ready?” The director screams from his seat.
Jungkook raises his thumb to affirm him and then he looks back at you.
“As I said Y/N, don’t be nervous. I will take good care of you, okay?” Jungkook holds your hand again.
His sincere tone really melts your heart.
You nod, “okay.”
You don’t know how things will turn around but you are determined to enjoy it. You will not be seeing Jungkook anymore, anyway. So, why not take the advantage?
“Action!” the director screams.
When you look at Jungkook again, his doe eyes have turned dark.
From now on, you don’t have any dialogue. It’s only Jungkook who will do the talking, you will have to say yes or no as a response.
“So, you want me to fuck your virgin cunt because you are a bad bad girl. Is that right?” Jungkook speaks in a sultry low voice.
Your head starts spinning.
“Yes.” you reply.
He takes a step towards you as you take a step back.
“Oh. you got a voice I see.” Jungkook steps towards you again.
You know he is just acting but you can’t help but feel a burning sensation in your stomach. When you take another step back, your thighs come in contact with the bed.
He pushes on your shoulder gently, making you sit down.
“Then.. let me take care of you.” Jungkook says while sinking down on his knees.
He takes one of your feet in his hand and kisses on top of it. When his mouth wraps around your big toe, your breath hitches.
Were your feet always this sensitive?
He sucks on your big toe briefly, making it tough for you to breathe normally.
“Do you like it?” he asks, looking up at you, lips still close to your foot.
“Yes.” you mutter.
“Good girl.”
Jungkook places a kiss on your ankle next, then on your knee. His other hand kneads on your other thigh gently.
His mouth reaches to your inner thigh and hovers above your skin for a brief second. Then he kisses down, pulling out a moan from your throat.
“Lay down for me.” he requests and you oblige.
Jungkook’s fingers hook on the waistband of your panty and he slowly pulls that down revealing your glossy slit to not only him but to the entire crew.
But surprisingly you are not self conscious. Jungkook has somehow made it feel like it’s only about the two of you. And you like it that way.
“So pretty” he whispers, as if talking to your cunt.
His actions make you leak even more. You suck in a deep breath when you see him, lowering his face down to your pussy.
He places a soft kiss on your folds at first and then licks a stripe along it.
Latching his lips around your clit, he sucks on it. You lose your senses with that. Some incoherent words fly out of your mouth but you know you are not really making sense to anyone, not even yourself.
He keeps performing his ministrations, licking, sucking and occasionally biting down on your clit.
This is the very first time someone has their mouth on your cunt and you never thought it would feel this good.
“Umm.. you taste so good, sweetie.” Jungkook mumbles on your clit.
His tongue probes into your entrance, lapping up all the juices that you leak.
You grab the sheets to find something to distract the overpowering pleasure that Jungkook has been providing you with.
Your knees buckle, caging Jungkook between your legs.
Soon you feel something akin to a finger pressing down on your clit, then drawing slow circles around it, and then the circles are fast.
Your eyes roll back and your throat produces some sounds you never knew you could make.
“Fuck! So tight. I have never fucked a pussy tighter than this” Jungkook groans and it vibrates your folds.
When he pokes into your entrance again, while circling your clit, you find something coiling in your lower abdomen. Something so strong that you can’t contain it anymore.
And you have it. The very first orgasm of your life.
Your juices drain Jungkook’s mouth and chin.
“Fuck, sweetie!” Jungkook stands up, “look what have you done?” he says while climbing on the bed.
He grabs your camisole and tears it in an instant.
Even though you are in your post-oragsm glory, it shocks you regardless. You hear mumbles coming outside the set but then the director seems to say something that shuts everyone up.
As soon as your tits are on display, Jungkook grabs both of those with both of his hands.
He kneads the muscles while his mouth latches to your neck.
There is so much happening at the same time that you don’t know what to focus on.
Jungkook’s kisses drop down to your collarbone, bruising your skin and then to your tits. He wraps his pretty lips around your perked nipples, suckling those as if his life depends on it.
Your moans know no bounds. And you already feel heat building up in your stomach again.
You leave the sheets and grab Jungkook's hair instead. He groans in pleasure.
“You are driving me fucking crazy, sweetie!” Jungkook manages to say, “do you think you can take my cock now?”
“Yes.” you say desperately.
You are actually very desperate to have him inside you already.
Jungkook climbs down the bed and starts stripping. You stare at him as if he is the best mountain view in the world.
Your eyes widen upon seeing his cock and your first thought is if it will fit or not.
“Don’t worry. I will make it fit.” Jungkook replies as if reading your mind.
He then comes closer to you and lines his cock on your entrance. Putting his lips on yours he pushes his length in.
A loud earth-shattering moan comes out of your mouth, which Jungkook swallows immediately.
He grabs one of your thighs and wraps your leg around his torso, your other leg follows the suit. He takes the chance to accommodate his cock inside your hole comfortably. And once he is sure you have adjusted, he starts moving.
At first he is slow but then he starts picking up his pace.
“Does it hurt?” Jungkook mumbles in your mouth, not ceasing to kiss you all while.
“No. It feels good.” you spill the truth.
Jungkook groans at your response, emptying you for a second only to thrust his full length inside you harshly.
You whine.
He pins your wrists above your head and stares at you while fucking you dumb. His eyes are so dark that they demand you to keep staring back at them.
The skin slapping sound makes your head spin and the coil in your stomach starts getting loose.
“I-I am cum-” and before you could finish your sentence, you cum.
It Triggers Jungkook’s own orgasm. He pulls out your cock from your hole, pumps it twice and then spills his cum all over your body.
And all you could do is to stare at him dumbly with your mouth ajar.
“That was so unlike you, Jungkook.” you hear the director talking to your co-star.
Even though you don’t want to eavesdrop, you want to know what was not like him.
“I know, hyung. For the first time ever in my career I lost control.” he sighs “Y/N was… something else.”
Your face grows hot with the complement. But you know you are not going to see him again so it’s better not to think too much about it.
You grab your bag and head towards the exit, stopping to greet everyone on your way out.
“Hey” you greet him with a small voice.
Jungkook gives you a big toothy grin in return.
“Are you leaving already?” he asks, staring at your bag.
“Yes. I- um. Thanks, Jungkook. I really enjoyed it.” You tell him sincerely.
“My pleasure, Y/N. And honestly, I think I enjoyed you a little too much as well.” he replies scratching the back of his neck. The tips of his ears turn pink.
You giggle.
“That’s great. So… yeah. That’s it. I will take my leave now. Bye” waving your hands, you turn your heels to leave.
“Y/N?” but his voice stops you.
“Yeah?”
“Maybe if you don’t mind… Can we exchange numbers?”
“Umm.. maybe we can do that.”
Maybe this deal has more than just money to offer.
Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie
#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#bts x you#jungkook x you#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#bts#bts oneshot
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Cherishing Her Touch
|| Sevika x fem!reader
|| Warnings; reader's upset, reasoning is altered for whatever you want, Sevika averting reader's touch which leads to her being upset, reader cries, Sevika tries to comfort, little dialogue, brief swearing, mentions of vulnerability
|| Summary; when avoiding another hug attempt from reader, Sevika doesn't realize what happens next before it's too late.
Requests closed!
Started; December 11th
Finished; December 11th
HurtCember2024; Day 10, Touch Aversion
Author Note; running a little behind on all my fics, this challenge, my series stuff and requests. hoping to at least get my request stuff done before christmas. thank you for being patient :)
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Dating someone who always tried to be tough wasn't easy. Sevika was exactly that type of person. She wasn't one to show vulnerability often. To her, letting someone touch her was showing vulnerability. She didn't like it. In fact, at the start of your relationship with her you couldn't count the amount of times she completely averted your touch. Making the extra effort to dodge your attempts.
It only stopped when she realized how upset she was making you. You'd been having a rough day and went to her, seeking a hug. You'd snuck up behind Sevika when she was focused on her work. The hug caught her off guard and she moved you off her. Your lip trembled and the waterworks couldn't be stopped. Normally it wasn't something that made you cry, but you were already having a rough day as it was. That was your finale straw. Sevika didn't notice right away that you were crying. Until she heard your little sniffles. When she noticed she felt bad.
Really bad. Sevika turned to you with a frown. There was hesitation in her eyes for a moment before her hand cupped your cheek. Bringing you in close. She didn't know what else to do. She wasn't... well, she'd never done this before. She wasn't even sure she was doing it right. But then you hugged her. Tight, too. Damn you really had a strong grip. The doubt if she was doing this right faded into the background. Being replaced with thoughts of making you feel safe. Wondering who/what caused this. Obviously Sevika knew that she had been your finale straw, but she wondered what could have happened before that. You were tough.
One of the toughest people Sevika knew. But, you did have a softer side to you. You could balance the two in ways she never could. That was one of the many things she admired about you. You were never afraid to show vulnerability, unlike herself. Right now, Sevika was kind of just copying what she had seen you do for other people. Giving hugs. She added in an awkward head pat that you snuggled right into. Cherishing her touch. After all, it wasn't often you got it. So you soaked up the moment.
There was a long silence while Sevika waited for you to settle. Knowing it would be useless talking to you when you were crying. She wouldn't have been able to understand you through your sobs.
"What happened?" Sevika asked once she was sure you had calmed down. At least enough to talk. You explained your entire day to her. Sevika listened to every word. Frowning the more she listened. You'd really been sent through the ringer today, hadn't you?
Sevika kept you in her arms. Feeling no rush to move away from you. Like she normally would have. She... honestly, it felt kind of nice. Would she ever tell you that? Fuck no. But she did like it. And in that moment, she realized she really did really love you.
If it had been someone that hurt you, Sevika would make sure to make them regret it. And if it had just been a bunch of stuff that overwhelmed you, if it wasn't already done she'll take care of it for you. But she would hold off on that until later. Right now, you were her focus.
#fanfic#x reader#canon x reader#wlw fiction#fem reader#arcane#reader x sevika#sevika x fem reader#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#sevika x female reader#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#sevika#sevika x#x fem reader#hurtcember#sevika hurtcember#hurtcember2024#hurtcember day 10#day 10 touch aversion#touch aversion#light angst#upset reader#reader cries into sevika#sevika comfort#or sevika tries to comfort anyway#cherishing her touch#reneesghostinthelivingroom
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hi, i'm a fat person who is just starting to learn to love and appreciate my body and i'm very new to the fat community and all that.
i was wondering if you could maybe explain the term ob*se and how it is a slur. i've never heard anything about it being a slur before(like i said, i'm very new here) and was wondering if you could tell me the origin and history of the word or mayy provide links to resources about it? i want to know more about fat history and how to support my community but i'm unsure of how to start
Welcome!
Obesity is recognized as a slur by fat communities because it's a stigmatizing term that medicalizes fat bodies, typically in the absence of disease. Aside from the word literally translating to "having eaten oneself fat" in latin, obesity (as a medical diagnosis) straight up doesn't actually exist. The only measure that we have to diagnose people with obesity is the BMI, which has been widely proven to be an ineffective measure of health.
The BMI was created in the 1800s by a statistician named Adolphe Quetelet, who did NOT sudy medicine, to gather statistics of the average height and weight of ONLY white, european, upper-middle class men to assist the government in allocating resources. It was never intended as a measure of individual body fat, build, or health.
Quetelet is also credited with founding the field of anthropometry, including the racist pseudoscience of phrenology. Quetelet’s l’homme moyen would be used as a measurement of fitness to parent, and as a scientific justification for eugenics.
Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called "normal weight" people are "unhealthy" whereas about 50% of so-called "overweight" people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone. "Healthy" lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index.
While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national "obesity" rates, the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as "overweight" overnight—to match international guidelines. Articles about the "obesity epidemic" often use this pseudo-statistic to create a false fear mongering rate at which the United States is becoming fatter. Critics have also noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs. Interesting!!!
So... how can you diagnose a person with a disease (and sell them medications) solely based upon an outdated measure that was never meant to indicate health in the first place? Especially when "obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition?
There is a reason as to why fatness was declared a disease by the NIH in 1998, and some of it had to do with acknowledging fatness as something that is NOT just about a lack of willpower - but that's a very complicated post for another time. You can learn more about it in the two part series of Maintenance Phase titled The Body Mass Index and The Obesity Epidemic.
Aside from being overtly incorrect as a medical tool, the BMI is used to deny certain medical treatments and gender-affirming care, as well insurance coverage. Employers still often offer bonuses to workers who lower their BMI. Although science recognizes the BMI as deeply flawed, it's going to be tough to get rid of. It has been a long standing and effective tool for the oppression of fat people and the profit of the weight loss industry.
More sources and extra reading material:
How the Use of BMI Fetishizes White Embodiment and Racializes Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings
The Bizarre and Racist History of the BMI by Aubrey Gordon
The Racist and Problematic History of the Body Mass Index by Adele Jackson-Gibson
What's Wrong With The War on Obesity? by Lily O'Hara, et al.
Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings
#inbox#resources#the bmi is bullshit#fat liberation#fat acceptance#fat activism#bmi#medical fatphobia
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pornstar! hobie brown x pornstar! reader (part 2) | (nsfw)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who since you last collabarted with helped your page grow practically overnight. you started to gain more followers, and collaborations, even from creators that turned you down before. it was all so exciting, it was everything you could have ever wanted. well almost...
☆ pornstar! hobie brown that even though it the reason you're now so popular, you still felt something missing. you tried not to thing about that empty feeling you had after each shoot, cause maybe next time would be better. but it was never none of your collaborators made your head spin the way hobie did. you were lucky if you actually orgasmed, most of the time you faked most of them.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who practically lived in your mind 24/7. you wanted to hit him up again. you really did....but you didn't want to seem desperate or like you were just using him.
☆ luckily, you didn't need to sit on the though for too long, since, just like last time, pornstar! hobie brown hit you up. that same rush of excitement you felt the last time came rushing back. you didn't even wait a second to respond. crazy how a simply text from him got you more worked up that anyone has in the past couple months.
☆ and before you knew it, pornstar! hobie brown was sending you the details of your next meet up. he made sure to book the same hotel as last time, and even the same room. even though the room provided an air of familiarity, the conversation wasn't. you two didn't really talk much after y'alls first get together. but the sexual tension was definitely there.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who was kind of taken aback with how shy you still were. but he could tell by the way you leaned into him and looked in his eyes when he spoke, that you weren't scared. just shy. he couldn't help but smile when you nervously tried to go over what was to happen. honestlyhe could care less about the run over, thruth be told he was just as eager as you to start fucking each other numb.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown told you just like last time to guide him where you wanted him. and to his surprise you hopped off his lap. he was almost worried he did something wrong, but once you fell to your knees he knew where this was going.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who grew the biggest shit eating grin on his face when he saw how willing you were to take the reigns on this time. last time you couldn't even look him in the eye, but now you were lacking long stripes along his shaft. when your tongue felt strained you took to lightly sucking on his tip for a bit. once you were brave enough, you took his shaft till it touch the back of your throat. it was a tough fit, but listening to hobie's groans and moans made the sensation of drool dripped down to you chin an afterthought. "god darlin', i know you missed me but fuckin' hell. don't make me come yet you know i gotta work on you first. come 'ere. "
☆ pornstar! hobie brown was kinda surprised at how he still had to ease his length into you. last time since he didn't know if your cunt could take the stretch, but now he has to be extra careful with you this time. you were bucking your hips into him you, and whining for him to hurry, and he didn't even have the tip in yet. he had to use his body weight to hold you in place cause even when he was obviously trying to go slow, you didn't want slow.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who realized that you were desperate as hell. i mean look at you. your just mindlessly forcing your hips back to meet his. you don't care if you broke the rhythm. you couldn't stand that empty feeling whenever he pulled out even a little. "shit luv you're gonna hurt yourself. slow down fo' me won't you? i know you missed me, you don't gotta tell me that. but i don't want you to hurt yourself, ok?"
☆ pornstar! hobie brown doesn't know how long it's been since you've been this worked up. even when you collaborated with other creators, none of them felt the same. hobie was the only one that knew how to dig into your guts just the way you liked it. you knew he didn't want you to hurt yourself but god can'the just forget all that. "luv come on listen to me. calm down just a bit. sh shhh I know. it's ok baby, she's still a perfect fit don't worry. just make her relax fo' me."
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who ate you out from the back till you legs gave out. he insisted on cleaning you up. worse part was he didn't even wait till your orgasm subsided. once he felt you were close, he'd pull out, and before you knew it his tongue was forcing its way into you. even if you shook and cried from overstimulation, he'd just follow you anywhere your hips jerked.
☆ pornstar! hobie brown that made sure to get a good shot of when you finally squirted for him. he had your back flush against his chest. the only things you would hear were the muffled sounds of his voice, and the wet sound of his hand colliding with your cunt over and over again. yep, he was slapping it. his palm was so big it hit all of it each time. "com' on let it out luv. dont hold it in, make a mess. promise I'll clean you up. ooohh that's it good, good, good, just breathe baby."
☆ pornstar! hobie brown who would like last time, opened your legs to the camera. and as if to show he has successfully fucked you dumb, he gave you one last slap. this time he eased his fingers in, which he had no problem doin. slid them out, and grinned at the thick, translucent sheen that stuck to them. he wanted them to see just how much you came. "com' on let 'em see how fucked out she is. shhh baby lemme in. fuckin hell look at this. you're just perfect as always.
#☆° via writes °☆#atsv hobie#hobie x reader#hobie spiderverse#hobie brown x black!reader#hobie brown smut#hobie brown#hobie brown x reader smut#smut
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How they see you vs how you see yourself
Group 1 - Witchy kitty
How they see you | The world, Temperance, 8 of pentacles
They see you as the center of their Universe. They think you are wonderful, a true all rounder and a very hardworking person. They see you as someone very independent, well travelled, educated, mature and balanced. They think that you know what you want and don’t stay bound to one place or one person. They view you as a rebel at heart, a free spirit. Someone that cannot and will not be tamed no matter what. They think that you are abundant. That you don’t need anyone to save the day because you are your own support. They think that you are quite stubborn and honest but also fair and patient. You know when to take space and when to give it. Your decisions and movements are swift. They view you as a very social person that knows all the cheat codes to a balanced life and a successful career. They think that you somehow have a lot of recognition and that your desire to expand may never be satisfied. They think you are a go getter and that seems to impress them.
How you see yourself | The Tower, Strength, Chariot
You see yourself as someone very intense and hard to deal with. Someone that life has made bitter and harsh. You feel like a wounded warrior, too tired to fight but too wary to let your guard down. You think that you’re a high achiever and don’t deserve to settle for less than what you embody. You think that you are a survivor. That no matter what life puts you through you’ll always rise back up. You think you are unstoppable, untamable and indestructible which may very well be the truth. You also think that that tough shell you have wil scare people off. A part of you believes that you are not beautiful enough to be recognized and valued. You think that you destroy everything you touch. That if you don’t keep moving karma might bite you in the but. You’re conscious of your assets but also mostly of your demons. You think that you are too dark of a person to be loved and understood.
Group 2 - Lonely ghosty
How they view you | 3 of swords, ace of cups, the moon, extra card 8 of pentacles
They think you are shy and too scared to open your heart to love. That you don’t like to show affection or let people see your vulnerable side. They think that you tend to hide your feelings, whether it be sorrow or hope. They think that life has given you many reasons to believe that humans cannot be trusted. That despite all that you've been through you still hope that love exists and is meant for you. That you are a kind and loving person, someone romantic with a lot of fears and daydreams. They think that you are mysterious, that your scars make you beautiful and lovable. They think that your patience and generosity know no limit. That one of the reasons why you get hurt is because you give so much and receive so little in return. They view you as someone talented, hardworking, prosperous, studious, that isn't afraid to try many times even if they keep falling and getting hurt. Someone that never gives up. They also think that your reserved nature creates a wall between you and others.
How you see yourself | The World, knight of cups, 6 of swords, ace of cups
Your opinion of yourself is pretty positive, which makes me very happy. You think that you are someone giving, kind, caring, patient. Someone that has the ability to move on easily in life, despite the challenges you are faced with. Someone that knows when to keep pushing and when to let go. Someone that isn't afraid of being vulnerable or kept in the dark about what is going on. You have a lot of faith in yourself and your ability to navigate the watters of life because you've seen it all. You've been through hell and back, and you know damn well that you have what it takes to survive it all. In that aspect, your vision of yourself complements the vision that the person on your mind has of you. If the person you were thinking of, focuses on your guardedness and how it keeps you from experiencing love again, you view it as a proof that you've matured and learned from your mistakes, that you love yourself enough to set boundaries, which you may not have been good at in the past. You feel pretty proud of yourself and you have every right to be. You think that you are a valuable person and that you deserve to be loved for who you are.
Group 3 - Spicy tea
How they view you | Death, 2 of wands, Queen of pentacles, Chariot
They see you as this bigger than life individual that cannot be stopped nor tamed. Someone that doesn't ask for permission to do what they deem is right. A person that has strong morals and a very good idea of who they want to be, where they want to go and how they want to be remembered. The opinion they have of you is very positive. They are in awe at how strong and opinionated you are. In their eyes, you are fearless. Someone that should not be messed with. In some way, they may be scared by your intensity and controlling attitude. Because you can be controlling, especially if people are being direspectful to you. They view you as the epitome of success, dignity and grace combined. You are a fighter and a go getter and apparently that has left a strong impression on them.
How you see yourself | 10 of wands, the Devil, 10 of swords, knight of cups
Your opinion of yourself is completely different. You are harsher on yourself than this person is. It feels like you don't give yourself enough credit for your accomplishments and qualities. You may tend to self sabotage, self criticize, overthink. You think that you have many faults, that you are not enough. That you're "too this" or "not enough that". You think that you have a lot of demons that prevent you from being happy and enjoying your success. You think that you are depressed, exhausted, burdened with your past and your thoughts. You think that you are someone that wants to love and be loved for who they are but considering all the baggages that you think you have, you deem that you are not worthy of it. You may see yourself as someone that is too broken to be loved, to be congratulated for your deeds and admired. Which really saddens me because no one should have to feel like that about themselves. Your perception of yourself is likely distorted by your fears, the conceptions that were implanted in your brain by toxic acquaintances.
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More random things in Blue Lock I find endearing:
-> Brothers
LOOK AT THE HAND PLACEMENT OF SAE. JUST LOOK AT IT. LOOK. AT. IT. OHMYGOD I'M GONNA CRY.
Oh god.
It's tough to explain, but to see him supporting Rin's arm instead of the trophy makes me want to punch a wall. It feels like, "Yes, we won this together, Rin." OHMYGOD! AAAAAAAA!!!
-> Hushed wisher
I really don't think we have ever seen Noa coaching any player other than Isagi, so him silently rooting for Kaiser caught me off guard real hard. Of course, it doesn't seem like much of a big deal, but to see that Noa hadn't completely taken his eyes off of Kaiser and that he hadn't completely pulled away his trust from Kaiser hits a certain type of emotion in my heart.
Considering that Kaiser wants to win over Noa too—a fact Noa, probably, knows—makes everything feel a bit.. bittersweet.
-> CHEERS!!
The above panel happened after Shidou scored a goal against Barcha and honestly—
CUTE!!!
I mean, BM was next in line to face PxG—it's probably the reason why they were watching the match live—and they were going to face Shidou which makes them rivals, and yet, when he does something cool, they all go, "WOOHOO! THAT'S COOL!!" instead of worrying or being jealous.
It's called sportsmanship, I guess?
It's sweet.
-> BM's Dad
There's another translation, but I find the above one way better because it's so... soft.
I mean, Noa has always been shown as this cold, emotionless person who inhales and exhales logic, so it was sweet when he tried to reassure Kiyora—when he showed some kind of compassion. It was like, "Hey, Kiddo! It's okay, don't worry, you'll play the next time! Cheer up!"
It also makes it sound like even if Kiyora were not to have the required stats for the next match, then Noa was prepared to against his own ideals and let Kiyora play regardless.
Sweet!
-> Protective
When Nagi got pissed off because Barou's violent behaviour nearly hurt Reo. Like, just look at that stance, he was ready to beat the crap out of Barou if Reo wouldn't have stopped him.
No matter what label you give Nagi and Reo—lovers or friends—you can't deny that they are probably the best thing that happened to eachother.
I really want what they have.
-> "It's their love language"
They barely knew eachother and yet when these two started to brawl, they all intervened immediately—Nanase and Isagi are literally hanging onto them with their dear life. It's tough to explain, but I found the gesture really sweet, like, they didn't know them! They could bash open their skulls—it wouldn't affect them at all and yet, they are trying to stop them!
Adorbs!!
Also, Chigiri was on the other side of the field, I guess. He came running!!! So sweet!
-> First friend
The way Bachira blindly believed in Isagi. Like, he had full trust that Isagi will come and play with him. He never doubted him at all! The healthiest duo of Blue Lock!
Also, look at his duck lips. Cutie.
-> "Welcome to the academy!"
Anybody who has shifted to a completely new place full of completely new people knows how good and relieving it feels when others make an effort to help you feel welcomed.
No idea if those three extra characters got selected in the tryouts or not, but they were nice. If Kaiser would've met them earlier, then they all would've surely been good buddies.
-> Beloved Ace
The way everyone instantly got mad at Shidou when he hurt Sendou—sweet! Also, the fact that they all refused to play if Sendou didn't play makes me giggle.
I adore bonds like these so much.
.
.
.
Pt: 1, 2, 3.
Probably the last of this series.
#blue lock#bllk#itoshi sae#itoshi rin#noel noa#bastard munchen#kiyora jin#nagi seishiro#mikage reo#bachira meguru#michael kaiser#sendou shuto#雪 ranting
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random jjk headcannons ₊˚✩
nanami - huge fan of doja cat
i’m not even sure why, but for some reason, the lyrics of her songs always turn him on. i mean come on? he can definitely relate to all of her lyrics,, wait actually no that sounds wrong. I hope yk what i mean.
itadori - loves being babied
although he wants to be a tough and protective guy in public, trust me, when you two are alone, he loves to lay in between your thighs and hear you sing sweet words to him. now that is the closest thing he has towards heaven.
megumi - secretly has a sweet tooth
“hell no, i’m not eating that sugary shit, do you think i’m trying to speedrun diabetes?”
and thennn you’ll find him secretly eating the leftover cake on his bed at 3am.
nobera- used to believe in ghost stories
tbh, she still believes in some of the ghost stories, i mean when she first found out about jeff the killer and momo she fell down a rabbit hole of worries and fears on what she would do if they randomly appeared one day. although she now knows they don’t exist, she can’t help but always take extra precautions
sukuna - loves being praised like he’s a toddler
I mean, we already think this guy’s ego is pretty big, but come on? “oh sukuna, you cleaned the kitchen? thank you love, you did such a good job!” he would be rolling his eyes, but secretly he’s jumping and screaming with joy
gojo - loves ariana grande & sabrina carpeter
gojo def understands how to treat a women,, i mean have you seen ari’s and sabrina’s lyrics? they teach him a lot about how to treat a woman, - heck he even studies them.
itadori + nobera - love to troll kids on roblox
i mean, although they do save people from monsters and supernaturals everyday,, beefing with a couple of kids online doesn’t do any harm..
megumi - huge fnaf kid
i know i can not be the only one who believes in this, i mean, the entire lore fanctinates him. if you ask him what fnaf is about, he will give you a deep breakdown from start to finish
megumi + gojo - thinks of gojo as a father figure but will never admit it
once megumi called gojo dad,, yeah and that’s when gojo found out what megumi thinks of him and will always tease him abt it
sukuna - has a extensive skincare and hair routine
i mean come on? have you ever wondered how his skin is always gleaming, and his hair is so silky? it’s obious this man loves to take care of himself but he will NEVER admit it
megumi + itadori - they secretly watch romance animes together
this is the definition of bromance, and they always love gushing over who’s their favorite ship, the annoying characters.. etc etc. so far,, fruit basket is their favorite !
part two soon ? :>
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk funny#gojo saturo#gojo satoru x reader#megumi smut#megumi fushiguro#itadori x reader#sukuna#sukuna jjk#jjk fluff#jjk#gojo fluff#fluff#headcannons#itadori yuuji#fanfic#jujutsu itadori#smut#jjk nobara#nobara kugisaki
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There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.
Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.
Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.
Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.
Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.
So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)
When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)
Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.
#mass effect#garrus vakarian#femshep#paragon shepard#thinky thoughts#mass effect meta#long text post#i have no idea if i'm repeating things i wrote about more than a decade ago but oh well lol#october is for talking about mass effect i guess#happy birthday month to me
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