#have a wild fuckin time but you ain't gonna remember a thing

[sharedheadspace]

not to fictive out loud an talk about my homeworld where people can see but this is because nirnroot better resemble aloe than hemp. if you dry an smoke them you're throwin away the real magic- the goop inside. what you're Meant to do is slice open whole leaves, eat the goop, an then suck on the inside of the leaves until just the planty outside is left

[mooifyourecows]

i've seen this girl on tiktok lately who is japanese and she's spending time in america, idk if she's just visiting or has moved here or whatever, but she's just excitedly doing things that she doesn't do in japan, and its so cute

like i saw one where she's just giggling and waving at strangers and getting waves in response and like yeah! that's so adorable! and thats one of the things that i personally really like about american culture too! the random waves or smiles or even full on conversations with strangers thing. i have anxiety and am terrified about talking to people but even i love that stuff so much

my partner is a super friendly and approachable guy and there are times when he comes home from work and is like "so i was talking to this guy i met at the grocery store and he told me about his divorce and [other personal things you wouldn't typically speak to a stranger about]" and i find it so endearing and funny. like i know he's an easy guy to talk to but still

even antisocial me has had some random conversations with strangers and i just thought that was normal and that people were like that everywhere

one time i was in a dispensary and a guy started talking to me telling me he liked my shoes and then went on to have a conversation about how people got their drugs in the hood in NYC, like he was all "you just walk up to your plugs house and they slip it through the door and you just leave, ain't that wild? it's the same in this place but like, official" like yeah random man standing in line behind me at the drug store, that's super interesting and i'm glad you decided to give me this information!

farmers that pass me when i'm on my walks will pull up beside me and say hello and point out how fun it is that the neighborhood dogs will join me

there was a guy that worked at the walmart where i lived in idaho and every time i'd go shopping he would start talking about his life to me like "my wife just had a baby and i love her so much, i can't wait to go home and play with her" or "my wife and i went to a metal concert and it was wild, got so drunk, had a blast" like YES tell me MORE!!!

my sister and i were driving around the city one night and we saw a guy who i'm pretty sure was doing some graffiti behind this building and my sister just hung out the window of her car and was like "hey what are you doing?" and he told her he got hired to paint a mural on the building and she was like "sick, whatcha gonna draw? how much did they pay you? you do it at night?" and they had a full fuckin convo and then when we were driving away my sister was like "he's totally lying lol"

if you got tattoos showing, people are gonna ask about them, wonder at their meaning, ask if they hurt, tell you their own plans for tattoos or show you the ones they got

the chatty cashiers are gonna ask about my plans for holidays and tell me theirs and also what they bought their grandson and everyone EVERYONE is gonna talk about the weather and it's always the same conversation but it's always so friendly and ends with "well, have a nice rest of your day!" and i dunno man i think it's cute

i have a LOT to complain about when it comes to america, like i genuinely believe it's hell on earth sometimes, but there are times when i see a video of buskers on the street getting passersby to dance and sing along with them, or a crowd of young people stop to watch a stranger pull off a sick move on his skateboard and they all surround him with cheers and hugs, and i see ladies stop each other to compliment their outfits and shower each other in praise before continuing on their way with a big smile and i remember that there's so much good too man idk it just gets me. i really like these people🥲

[notmuchtoconceal]

To reflect upon the brutal and fascinating realities of human sacrifice in many cultures of antiquity -- usually rendered as stylish and alluring spectacles of mass-terror to cement the divine right of conquerors -- may make one squeamish when collaborating with extant energetic intelligences for whom constant human folly is nothing new, but who nevertheless seem to demand forms of biblical flattery.

Chimpanzees and other primates will sometimes eat their babies, or eat their competitor's babies. You give these fuckers a spark of divine light and let them wall themselves off in tremendous gilded cityscapes where they're constantly hallucinating God-visions and bloodlust, they're liable to go a little fuckin crazy. They've been -- in a non-insignificant sense -- divorced from their natural context of small tribal bands and blown up to hive scale, rendering their awareness functionally more cellular.

You watch the news every day, don't you? I don't gotta tell you constant exposure to murder and carnage numbs your capacity to feel, especially when your loving and compassionate political leaders are telling you this is all necessary and according to plan. You saw the Dark Knight. You know what the Joker said to Harvey Dent. I'm not tellin you anything you don't already know. What, you think a bunch of weird edgelords on the internet over-meming made that any less true or beautiful? What the fuck is going on in the human mind that facts stop being persuasive when they're told to you by someone you find personally disagreeable?

It's becomes human beings aren't concerned with facts, they're concerned with survival. This is because humans remain animals despite their spark of divinity. Yet, if one is living in a mass urban industrial center, what is more dangerous to one's survival are the words they're told and act out, as the only wild animals in cities are bosses and muggers, who think in pretty similar ways, the main one being they ain't sheep. They're not corralled. They're not led by the nose into slaughter, cause they can act on their own volition, though with no respect for the realities of the soul, they'll just fuckin eat you like Upton Sinclair's concrete Jungle.

Yeah, buddy. Eat the working class. Grind em up and put em in your burgers. Remember, kids. Regulation and unionization are your enemies. It's your bosses who have your best interests in mind. Your bosses who want to farm your time, underpay you, rule your life, and brainwash you into learned helplessness towards the systems designed to fail you.

The product is you. You're being sold.

You're acting like a dumb whore cause in an age where privacy is being eroded, you can weaponize your lack of privacy. Look all a fucking round you. Most people are way too complicit in their own suffering to just say what they mean. Usually, when you're making excuses for other people, it's cause you want to make those same excuses for yourself. It's enabling and junky behavior is what it is, bro. Sometimes the only way you can show a fucker you love em is by smackin their whore mouth and letting them bleed cum and drool all over themselves til they wake up.

Right, so.

Now that I've said a bunch of needfully cruel things to drive away the fuckers who can't handle it, I'm gonna tell you -- brave, strong brothers who still remain -- about three practical and non-murderous points about embracing a sacrifice-oriented mindset which can help you de-clutter your life, strip-out the bullshit and attract what you want -- with no cost to me, because I already have everything I could ever want from you.

First off, to offer a sacrifice (think of it as a gift, you already do this) to a non-material entity does a couple things. First off, it shows seriousness and commitment via a willingness to expend material means, showing me and you that you already value something higher than mere resources. You could say it acts as a crystallization of intention. A symbol of exchange. To offer a gift is to make the first move, make yourself a priority, and redirects consciousness towards consideration of your goal. In essence, a concrete object given is the initial means by which intention moves from an abstract idea to the beginnings of a practice.

Second, the nature of the sacrifice. There is where your imagination comes in, sweetie. Think about the object you are offering, and the context of how it appears not only to you, but the goal itself. If you've been over-standardized by institutions, you may struggle here. Not only to think in terms of symbols and associations, but to trust your own fantasy life, for fear that it is incorrect or illogical. You gotta trust me here, kid. Follow what turns you on. Don't say no. Part of doing a ritual and entering into a sacred space is to suspend ordinary modes of rational discourse to commune with your unconscious. This is why commitment and making the first step is important. You need to know you're going there to give yourself the permission to be there. If you're scared, you may need to follow steps to sorta dip-your-toes in.

Reading most grimoires or demonic codices, you may get a sense that a lot of the steps are arbitrary, largely because they are. Some ritual functions have a definitive psychological anchoring effects which play off unspoken realities of the human body, but most are there to trick you into having some confidence in yourself by giving you a checklist to complete. As with any field of study, the more you know, the more you know what can be safely skipped. Ultimately, you need to trust yourself here. What's most effective for you. What's going to make you get off your ass and do this evocation, get the life you want? As with any collaboration, you will know yourself as you come to know the other.

Think of what you already do with friends or superiors. A libation can be a toast, a way to loosen up, a way to entertain. In some sense, a ritual isn't any different from throwing a party or planning a wedding, for these two are ritual events meant to crystallize certain moods or occasions.

Think about what objects truly mean to you. What they represent. What they're in the image of, or what they're used for. Let the thoughts come to you. Sit with them. Experience the real you. Your real wants.

From there on, put it together. Make a collage, tell a story.

Subdividing from the nature of sacrifice, there are two main distinctions in an object you're willing to surrender, and that comes down to the why.

If there is something you have which is precious to you, but which you know someone else would make better use -- you may give that as a gift. You are freeing yourself from a responsibility you cannot fully entertain, and bravely empowering someone else, not only raising the net total of human divinity, but also carrying on your dream through them.

Secondly secondly, if you have something which is precious to you, but which you no longer need, or is holding you back, well -- smash it, or gift it someone more deserving. There is catharsis in controlled destruction.

If your love has been tainted by bitterness, you may strengthen your resolve and your will by quick and semi-painless amputation. Alternately, if you feel the object is cursed -- you may consider a curse, at its simplest level, as simply a prolonged and aggressive negative association -- then surrendering that to an enemy will help you kill two birds with one stone, perhaps even painlessly unburdening your enemy of some of this more persistent and irritating delusions if the curse can drive him to light.

If I replaced the word "sacrifice" with downsizing, it would go down a lot more smoothly, for in fact -- coining new phrases is itself a form of magic, association being primary on the emotional level, and words and concepts being constantly sullied by misuse and distortion, necessitating they be purified and restored by regeneration into a new form.

[zealous-whispers-of-us-redux]

homecoming

(A/N: I tweaked an old, unposted [on this blog] fic of mine for @multi-stann and her 1k writing event. I picked the smut prompt: "Love the taste of you, but I need more.”) :)

Warning: demon sex and desecration in/of a church. Please don't read if that offends you!!

SMUT AHEAD

Intoxicating dreams. The feeling of her mouth around his cock. His teeth sinking into her plush bottom lip. Heat racketing up his spine until all he knew was her. Wrapping a hand around her neck and feeding on her pleasure as he fucked her. Taking anything and everything she would offer him. He missed her. He missed her.

He...

Bucky jolted awake in the confession booth. Sweat dripped down his face, and he could still feel the flames of Hell licking his skin. He was hard in his slacks. Crossing himself absently, Bucky muttered a few prayers under his breath because this was happening again. He knew what it all meant. He has been away for centuries, but his past was finally catching up to him. The more vivid the dreams, the closer she was to finding Bucky. And the closer she was to finding Bucky, the more his true nature rose within him as his body fought against the angels' invisible chains. Bucky was hungrier than he had been in a long time, but the runes on his skin made him unable to leave the church, let alone go out and feed.

He checked his watch, and as he expected, it read 3:17 a.m. Bucky's heart thumped excitedly in his chest. He knew that she knew where he was. Finally, she had found him, and she would rescue him from this hell. He opened the door to the confessional just as she blew into the church, stalking nearer and nearer until Bucky could take her in for the first time in years. She looked just as beautiful as he remembered- wild and passionate with eyes that glowed from within. With each step she took, the floor cracked underneath her feet. Crucifixes clattered to the ground, and the stained-glass window shattered, raining colored glass down onto both of them. The statue of the Virgin Mary cried, and she grinned.

"There you are," she said, and Bucky could not take his eyes off of her.

"You found me," he croaked in the language he never forgot, no matter how many beatings he took.

"You’ve been calling out to me for ages, but your jailers kept you well-hidden. Even my father couldn't see you."

"They summoned me," said Bucky bitterly. "They summoned me, an' they stole me as a barginin' chip."

"If they think they can stop this, they're wrong. It is only the beginning. My father has gathered his troops. I asked him to wait until I found you. Lord Belial wasn't happy with me, but I came for you anyway. "

Bucky squirmed at the innuendo, his gaze dropping to her mouth. His stomach rumbled, and she must have heard it because she smiled. He reached out for her, and she threw herself into his arms. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, breathing her in.

“You do remember me, don't you?” she asked, sounding vulnerable in a way he would never expect.

“How could I ever forget my baby?" Bucky asked.

"How come you haven't left this church if you remember me?"

"The runes." He gestured to the symbols carved into his skin. "I can't leave."

"You can leave if the angels who created the runes are dead."

"What did you do?"

"They gambled away their vessels, and I burnt them to a crisp," she said, baring her teeth. "It was a fitting punishment, Father said. If they thought they could take away what is mine, they were wrong if they thought they could hurt you without retribution. They deserve worse than what I gave them."

"You-"

"You're free, Bucky," she said firmly, placing her hands against his cheeks. "What will you do now?"

Bucky kissed her, and it was like slipping a key into a lock. He had forgotten almost everything about his old life, except for her, but she saved him and was now giving everything back. He vividly remembered Hell again, remembered how it was not as dreadful as the angels brainwashed him into believing it was. It was his home. It was hellhounds and halls of crystals glittering in the low lamplight. It was decadent food that demons didn't need but ate anyway. It was her naked in his bed, waiting for him to return from corrupting souls on Earth. It was sex all the time, whenever Bucky wanted. She was as insatiable as he was.

“Welcome back,” she said.

“It's been so long,” Bucky replied, pawing at her greedily. “I need ya right the fuck now. I'm starvin.'”

“Remember when we fucked in that church in Romania? Right under the statue of their precious Mary?” she asked.

“Hell, I’ve missed you."

As they kissed again, Bucky felt her heating up under his hands until tendrils of flame erupted from her skin. She pulled back, and Bucky saw her eyes alight with hellfire. He gathered her closer with a groan, knowing he would never get burned. She kissed him again, clawing at his hair as she swung herself into his lap. The confession booth swayed dangerously, but both ignored it. Bucky sunk his teeth in her bottom lip, and she snarled, scraping her nails over his scalp in retaliation. They pulled apart to blink at one another, then she dove to take off Bucky's shirt. Her fingers burned his skin so good, leaving red streaks that would fade quickly. Bucky could feel it crawling under his skin again, the hunger for sex that he hadn’t felt in ages. He wanted; he wanted to feed off of her pleasure and make her scream.

“I see those pretty black eyes,” she said, drawing Bucky’s gaze from her bare chest. “I knew they wouldn’t succeed.”

“Missed you,” Bucky growled, sucking her jaw so fiercely that he drew blood, “Take yer panties off for me.”

“Ask me nicely.”

She dug her nails into his pecs- a warning. Bucky rolled his eyes as he carried her out of the confessional and into a booth.

“Please take off yer panties. Sweetheart,” he said.

“Okay, darling, whatever you say," she replied.

“Disgusting. Don't ever call me that again. An' take your fuckin' panties off, huh?"

“You're such a dick."

"Hey, leave me alone! It's been two hundred years."

She shoved Bucky’s shoulder, trying to push him off of her enough so that she could wiggle out of her bottoms. Bucky ignored her unspoken command. He grabbed her wrists and slammed her arms over her head.

“Keep ‘em there," he said.

“How am I expected to take my underwear off? Think things through, will you?” she said.

“Yer bein’ unusually bratty today.” Bucky wrapped his lips around one of her nipples. “Ain’t had anyone put you in yer place for a while, I guess.”

“Oh, please. My father is one of the seven kings of Hell. If anything, you should submit to me. I remember how much you liked it when I made you beg at my feet like a hound."

“It's been decades since I’ve had ya underneath me. Now that I have ya, I ain’t just gonna give that up so willingly. Stop bein’ a brat."

“For Baal's sake, just do something instead of talking about it."

“No swearin’, we’re in church,” Bucky said. “An’ keep yer arms above yer head. No touchin.’”

“For fuck’s sake.”

“An’ shut that mouth a’ yours too. You don’t want me to gag ya, do you?”

"Who the fuck has been going around and telling lies saying I wouldn't like that?" she asked with a smile.

Bucky softened. He knew he was probably looking at her like a dumbass, but she was so beautiful and here for the first time in a long time. Bucky wouldn't want his first feeding session in centuries to be with anyone else. If a beast like him could love, he was sure he would love her.

"Missed you," Bucky said softly, tucking his thumbs in the waistband of her panties and stuffing them in her mouth. "So much."

"Missed you too," she mumbled.

"Did you make 'em suffer?"

"You know I did. They hurt you."

She said everything he needed to know in just seven words. His hunger overwhelmed him, and Bucky blacked out until all he could see was her. Flames tickled him as Bucky leaned down to kiss a fiery trail down her stomach. She growled at him in an ancient tongue, and the foundations of the church shook at her words. The statue of Mary cracked in two the louder her words got, but Bucky ignored it, not content on just eating her out- he wanted her screaming. But she was a hard one to please. Bucky could rarely get her to scream when he ate her out, no matter the amount of coaxing he tried.

"Love the taste of you, but I need more," he said, his tongue flicking over her clit. "We still gotta topple that statue."

"Come up here and fuck me. It's been so long."

Bucky left the plush comfort of her thighs and made his way up her body, pressing kisses along the way.

"I know it has, babe," he said, kissing her forehead in a display of comfort that they were both unaccustomed to. "But I’m here now, an’ nothin’ can pull me away from ya again, you hear me?”

"I'll kill anyone who tries," she said.

Bucky grinned sharply. "That's my girl."

"Not yours," she countered.

"No?"

He reached down and drew her legs up around his waist. She locked her ankles together, holding him there so tight he could not move, not even to get inside her. He growled, trying to break free.

"I'm not yours," she repeated.

"If you fuckin' think for one second you ain't mine, you're wrong."

"I'm a fucking demon. No one owns me."

"Never said 'owns.' I said mine. Now, you gonna lemme fuck you or not?"

"No. How is it different?"

Bucky groaned, dropping his head onto her chest. He pressed a few kisses at her breast, bit her nipple.

"C'mon, gimme a break. I'm starvin.'"

"No, not until you tell me."

"Fuck's sake. You're mine, an' I'm yours, okay? An' I don't wanna feed on anyone else, ever again. You're enough for me."

"Okay."

"You don't have to reciprocate."

"I put a war on hold, and I killed three angels to find you," she said flatly.

"Yeah," Bucky said, his vessel's heart fluttering. "You did."

She loosened her grip on Bucky, allowing him to slip inside her for the first time. His body shuddered in delight at feeling her again. He could taste her pleasure in the air, and his tongue flicked out to gather it from her lips as they kissed. Bucky knew he wasn't going to last long, but he would be (more) damned if he finished before she did.

"Come on, move," she said, her nails pricking his back.

The pace Bucky chose was brutal, and she moaned, arching her back. He remembered now the way she’d never utter more than a moan. No matter the amount of coaxing, Bucky could never make her scream. She had passed out from him fucking and feeding on her a few times, but even then, all he managed to get were a few calls of his name. It kept him desperate to please her even though she was the one feeding him.

"Go faster," she sighed, her head tipped back enough so that Bucky could get at her neck with his teeth.

"I gotcha, babe. Wan' my hand?"

"Yes, please."

Naturally, Bucky obliged. He wrapped one of his big hands around her neck, squeezing gently and then harder. Her mouth fell open against his as he fucked her, and they stayed like that, panting into each other's mouths. And Bucky wanted so much for someone to burst in and see them like this, see him fucking her into the ground and feeding off her desire.

He pulled out of her when he got an idea. She speared him with a glare, but he calmed her down, urging her to get to her hands and knees. Bucky smacked her ass, and she muffled a cry into her forearms. The flames on her skin burned hotter and hotter the more Bucky spanked her until sweat was pouring down his chest. He gathered her hair up in his hand and dragged her up from the floor, curling a possessive hand around her throat. Flames licked his skin wherever her body was pressed to his. Bucky could feel it rising within her, and he gasped at the taste of it after so long without. It was the best drug in the world.

"C'mon, rub your clit for me, and scream when you come. You know it makes it taste better," he demanded.

"Make it worth my while, and I will."

"You wan' it? I'll give it to you," Bucky said, squeezing her neck until she was gasping. "Now, come for me. Gimme it."

It only took a couple more sweeps of her fingers over her clit and a quick kiss from Bucky for her to come. He kissed her to muffle her screams, drinking her down, thirsty for everything she could give him. He continued fucking her through her orgasm, his eager pants ringing around the church.

"Again, again, gimme one more. So hungry, babe, you taste so good," Bucky panted.

It didn't take long for her to come again, and Bucky fed on her, moaning as he felt her slipping down his throat. He licked his lips and pushed himself entirely inside her, holding still until she triggered his own orgasm.

"That's a good girl," Bucky cooed, kissing her to get the last of her orgasm.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, looking upside down at him.

He snuggled closer. "Yeah."

"Are you pulling out or what?"

"Nah, wanna stay here for a minute or two. Missed this. So happy y'found me. You saved me."

"I always will," she said, scowling.

Bucky laughed, burying his face into her hair.

"How's Hell, anyway?"

"It's good. Will you come back with me?"

"I'll go anywhere you want me to."

"We'll get those runes off your skin."

"'Kay, but later. I'm still ravenous," said Bucky.

She grinned, all sharp teeth and fire in her eyes.

"Come on, then. Let's go to a real bed."

"Lead the way," said Bucky, flipping the bird toward the Mary statue that lay shattered on the ground.

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hi everyone. Another big chapter today. The first part has some graphic smut, so feel free to skip to the line break if you want to avoid it. Hope you enjoy :)

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Eight - The Tournament

Day Seven: Sunday

When Freed woke up, he thought he might be dreaming.

His head was resting against Gajeel's chest, cool and hairless. He could feel large hands running through his hair, and gently scratching at his scalp without too much pressure. His limbs were tangled up with Gajeel's, both of them without any clothes. The gentle vibrations of Gajeel's heartbeat was a pleasant sensation that made Freed smile a little, not moving to open his eyes.

The previous night had been… indescribable. Freed was a man who kept things to himself, and his past was one of his most guarded secrets. Yet sitting in the spring with Gajeel, he had felt compelled to say something. Something instinctive inside of him allowed for vulnerability, and there had been something so freeing about letting Gajeel know what his parents had done. It was more of a burden than he sometimes thought, and having Gajeel both listen to him, and seem to take his side in his own somewhat brutish way, was wondrous.

And then, of course, there had been what followed. The reason they were both in Freed's bed.

Freed was by no means a virgin. He'd had his fair share of partners, but he preferred to sleep with a man he cared for, meaning it had been some time since his last time with a man. Gajeel had been, by quite a considerate margin, the most passionate, all-consuming lover that Freed had been with. He somehow managed to balance a rough, domineering energy with shocking tenderness and the lightest of touches. The press of his strong body against Freed contrasted incredibly with the soft kisses and grazing knuckles.

It had been a night of body-shuddering, sheets-clenching, mind-melting sex.

"Hm," Gajeel purred a little. "Thinkin' about last night?"

"What makes you think that?" Freed spoke, voice sleepworn and croaky.

"'Cause yer naked, wrapped up real tight against me, and if it ain't yer dick pokin' my thigh then I'm real curious about what it is," Gajeel taunted, still scratching at Freed's hair and giving it a little tug. It gave him a flashed memory of being on all fours, Gajeel fucking him while yanking at his hair with cruel strength. "Yeah, yer thinkin' about last night. That good huh?"

"You certainly know how to treat a man," Freed chuckled; he didn't care to lie. Gajeel was jaw-droppingly good in bed. He ran a hand down Gajeel's strong body, grazing his dick. It was just as hard as Freed's. "As do I, it seems."

"Fuck yeah ya do," Gajeel was unashamedly grinning, and Freed chuckled. Gajeel looked down on him, grinning without repentance. "Want another round?"

"You think you can take it?" Freed quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "You were rather energetic last night, I wouldn't blame you if you're needing some time to let your muscles recover."

"You sayin' you think I've pushed myself," Gajeel cackled. "Pretty-boy, I was holdin' back."

Oh, that was a thought. If that were true then what would Gajeel be like when he let himself go? He would be an animal, and Gods would Freed like to witness it.

After glancing at the clock to see they had more than enough time before they would need to leave for the tournament, Freed pushed himself up. The movements shifted the sheets to the side, revealing both of their naked bodies, and Freed swallowed at the sight of the man below him. Muscles rippled, piercings gleamed, and hair spread across the sheets. Gajeel was grinning up at him, horny and expectant.

Straddling the dragon slayer, Freed leant down so their bodies were gliding together. Their dicks rubbed hard, and the cool steel of the rivet piercings that decorated Gajeel's shaft made Freed sigh. This man was made of metal, and it was intoxicating. Freed was addicted.

"You gonna ride me, Pretty-Boy?" Gajeel rasped. "Gonna ride my cock?"

"Ride you?" Freed chuckled. "Perhaps if you'd given me everything you had, I'd treat you. But as you were holding back, I don't think you've earned it," Gajeel whined in protest, and Freed laughed. "You'll enjoy what I have planned, my dear, I'm quite sure of that."

Before Gajeel could complain or question him, Freed pressed their lips together, rolled his hips, and pressed Gajeel into the mattress by the shoulders. Gajeel groaned through their kiss, and Freed felt him shudder under him as he ran his hands over Gajeel's stomach and chest. He grinned a little, pushed himself off of Gajeel and relished the groan of annoyance. He began to slowly pepper kisses down the man's body, starting at his chest, going lower to his abs, then to his naval. Gajeel sucked in a breath and Freed relished it.

How had things changed so much in so little time?

When his lips hovered above Gajeel's dick, he looked up at Gajeel with the most devilish smirk that he could muster. Gajeel looked at him as if breathless, and Freed slowly lowered his head down and licked the tip of Gajeel's aching cock.

"Holy shit," Gajeel gasped. "Y' don't have to. I know the metal ain't for everyone-"

Freed plunged Gajeel's dick deep into his mouth, deepthroating him in a single movement. The feeling of the fat, long dick, filled with cold, harsh metal, filling him was incredible, and he gagged a little around the fullness. He took every inch of the man's dick, forcing Gajeel to maintain eye contact with him. Gajeel let a small 'oh shit' slip out and fuck did it make Freed's dick twitch. He was very reactive to praise.

Swallowing the man's length, Freed began to raise and lower his head, and Gajeel moaned. The sound spurred Freed on, and he began to bob faster and faster, choking and moaning over the man's hard dick.

The taste of metal drove him wild.

Gajeel suddenly froze, let out a spew of curses, and his hands forced Freed's head down on his cock. Freed choked, and a moment later the brilliant sensation of hot cum filling his mouth overthrew everything. Gods it tastes so good.

Freed came without warning, spurting his own cum onto the sheets. His eyes shot open, and he continued thrusting Gajeel's dick deep into his throat. His thighs were trembling with the effort of remaining on his knees while he milked all of Gajeel's cum into his mouth. When he looked up, Gajeel was staring at him lust-struck and seemingly amazed. Freed smirked over the fat cock in his mouth, gave it a final teasing lick, and pushed himself up.

"A suitable replacement for a ride?" He teased, voice hoarse from the throat fucking.

"You just came?" Gajeel gasped, seemingly wonderstruck. "I didn't even touch ya - you didn't even touch yerself - and you came real fucking hard. Just because you were sucking me off?"

"It seems so," Freed smirked.

"Oh Pretty-Boy," Gajeel's tone held mischief and seduction. "I'm gonna fuckin' ruin you."

"Will you?" Freed asked. "Well, we've an hour before we need to shower, so perhaps you should start now."

Gajeel had launched himself onto Freed before he had finished speaking.

——

"Gods dammit," Laxus grunted the moment he saw Freed. "You too, huh?"

Freed had walked into the guild, wanting to speak with his teammates after a week without contact. Evergreen had been at the bar, Bickslow was nowhere in sight, and as such Freed had walked to Laxus at their regular table. He had intended to ask as to how Laxus' week with Loke had been - the natural flirt wasn't an obvious easy pairing with someone as socially… complicated as Laxus - but the blonde had looked at him with an expression that was immediately annoyed. Freed didn't know why.

"Me too?" Freed asked, sitting opposite Laxus at their table. "Care to elaborate."

"You hooked up with your teammate too, didn't you," Laxus grunted, seemingly not pleased with the outcome.

Freed immediately stilled. His and Gajeel's night together was something that they hadn't spoken about with any seriousness, but they both had decided to keep it private. They didn't leave marks in places where they could be seen, they had tried not to look as though the dynamic of their relationship had been turned on its head when they had gotten into the guild, and Freed had even gone so far as to apply a pain-killing rune on his ass. He hadn't wanted people asking why he had a slight limp.

There was the issue of the piercings Freed now had, and the runic tattoo over Gajeel's exposed arm, but they could lie about that. It could have been passed off as a trust exercise or bonding experience. Fairy Tail was known for doing things with more intensity than required, their body modification could be seen as that happening again.

"What makes you think that?" Freed asked, cagey.

"You stink of iron and his cologne. Bet he stinks of you, too," Laxus huffed a little, and Freed frowned. He should have considered that... "You couldn't've at least showered after you did it, huh?"

"We did," He said firmly.

"Together or apart?" Laxus demanded. When Freed didn't answer, Laxus knew and rolled his eyes. "If it's gonna be a regular thing then you're going to need some stronger soap. Don't want to know every time he's been in bed with you."

"I suppose not," Freed chuckled. It was then when he remembered what Laxus had said in greeting, and frowned again. "You said 'me too' when you realised me and Gajeel had slept together. Have you and Loke started something?"

"What the fuck! No," Laxus exclaimed, before grunting. "I could've had him, but I didn't want him. No. Bicks and Gray are fucking as well."

"Really?" Freed frowned, looking over the banister. He scanned the room and his eyes settled on Gray, who was sitting on one of the many benches with Bickslow's arm around his shoulders, arguing with Natsu. Bickslow and his babies were offering words of support in the argument, and Bickslow was grinning widely. "How did that happen?"

"You remember when Bicks said he'd take his clothes off every time Gray did?" Laxus asked, and Freed nodded, vaguely remembering something of the sort. "He did it, apparently Gray was into it, and they started banging on the second night," Freed looked back at Laxus, who was frowning at him. "Dunno why that's a surprise considering what you and Gajeel did. Thought you didn't like each other. You aint the type to hate-fuck."

Freed thought for a moment. The shift from seething hatred, to tentative friendship, to what had happened the night before didn't exactly make sense to him. The piercings, runes, unison raids and demonic influence didn't make things easier to understand.

"We challenged our preconceived notions of one another, and found kinship," Freed said in explanation. "I would like to know why you seem a little huffy about it."

"Because I know you're not gonna fall into bed with a guy who's hot just because you wanna sleep with him. You're a guy who sleeps with someone they care about, probably only with a guy you could see yourself being with for a long time," Laxus shrugged. Freed didn't disagree, but didn't see how this was relevant. "If he's gonna be around you for a long time then he's gonna be around me for a long fucking time too. I'm gonna have to talk to him, get to know him, all that crap. Gonna have to do it with fucking Gray as well. I don't need that shit. Got enough friends."

"So your aversion to our relationships is because you dislike people?" Freed chuckled, and Laxus nodded. "So, not because you're still madly in love with me then?"

"Fuck you," Laxus gurnted, but grinned.

"I expect that you might say that if you were still interested in me," Freed teased, and Laxus rolled his eyes. "Though I expect if we were still together and you said that, you would be begging for it rather than demanding it. You were awfully needy, I recall."

"You know what, I'm glad you found him. You can piss him off rather than me," Laxus muttered, and Freed chuckled. Laxus' expression shifted to something more sinceer. "He good for you?"

"I think so," Freed nodded, smiling a little. "Unusual, I'll admit. But good."

"And yer demon ain't been fucking around?" Laxus looked serious now, and Freed understood why. The blonde did sometimes have a tendency to blame himself for the demon, even though Freed felt all the fault lay in his parent's actions. "It ain't done anything today. It gets bad today, right?"

"There was an incident in the week, but it was sorted before anything could come of it," Freed said, not wanting to go into details.

"You sure?"

"I am," Freed gave an honest response, and Laxus nodded a little.

For a moment, they both sat at their table. Laxus was drinking a tankard of beer while Freed polished his sword in preparation for the tournament. Freed had to admit that, although he had intended for his and Gajeel's relationship - whatever it was going to be - to be a secret, he felt warmed both by how Laxus hadn't questioned his closeness to Gajeel with anything more than curiosity, and how he had accepted the fact that Gajeel might be a part of their lives that was going to stay.

That felt nice too. The idea that Gajeel would be a mainstay in his life, and in the lives of their team. He wondered how Gajeel might interact with his team. He wondered what it would be like to return home with Gajeel after a night at the guildhall, drunk and cheerful. They might stumble into bed, and just laugh as they fall asleep side by side.

Freed would enjoy that.

"I'm sorry, I've ignored it long enough," Laxus suddenly said, and Freed looked towards him. "What the hell is with the piercings? You lost a bet to him or something?"

Freed just laughed, and decided he would tell Laxus the story.

——

"And for the final fight of the day, the one you've all been waiting for, the battle for the championship," Makarov was yelling into a microphone, his voice echoing around the clearing behind Fairy Tail's guildhall. "On the left, we have Bickslow and Gray! On the right, we have Gajeel and Freed! Two teams that have proven themselves to be incredibly powerful over the day, crushing all competition before them. Are you both ready!"

Fuck yeah Gajeel was ready!

Today was his day. He'd woken up with the memory of fucking Freed hard all the damn night, only to have Freed wake up in his arms ready for a morning of more. When they'd gotten to the guild, he'd heard stories about teams that just hadn't worked out because they let their arguments get in the way, and it made him realise how fucking close he and Freed had been to ending up as another disaster. And throughout the tournament, the natural comradery that he and Freed had quickly developed had burst out and they had seemingly decimated their opponents in every match.

Now, all they had to do to win the prize was to beat up the Puppeteer and the Stripper. It was going to be easy, and Gajeel was already planning on what he would do with the prize. After seeing how Freed lived, Gajeel knew he couldn't stay, so the money was going towards a new place.

And then, they'd also get to make a forfeit for the overall losers. He hoped it would be Natsu. He was gonna make the flamebrain loudmouth his personal fucking footrest for a month. Maybe he'd even get a throne, just to piss him off more.

Freed would look good sitting in a throne.

He'd look better sitting in a throne naked.

But he couldn't think about this now. He nodded that he was ready, as did Freed, Gray and Bickslow. He needed to be in the zone to get the victory. He shouldn't underestimate Gray and Bickslow, who seemed to be almost as in tune as he and Freed were being. Maybe having sex with your teammate made you work well together? Who knew?

"And begin!" Makarov yelled.

As they had with each fight, Gajeel ran forward while Freed started casting runes. Gajeel allowed iron to replace his skin, and he extended an arm to land a punch at Gray. Gray blocked it with a shield of ice, which shattered and made him stumble. Gajeel pounced on the misstep and rammed his iron fist into Gray's stomach, knocking him into the dirt.

Before he noticed, Bickslow's dolls were above him and circling quickly. A beam of magic struck down on him, searing pain that he couldn't identify. It felt like fire and ice and lighting all at once. Gajeel hadn't fought against Bickslow before, so the burn of his magic was unfamiliar, and all Gajeel could think to do was cover himself as best he could with his iron arms and wait for the spell to end. It was hurting like fuck, but he was trapped in the spell.

Suddenly, it broke. Looking up, he saw runed implanted on the dolls. He grinned.

Freed was now fighting with his sword, with Gray using a weapon made of ice to parry the blows. They seemed well matched, so Gajeel turned to Bickslow who was looking at him with a manic expression. Bickslow raised a hand and made a beckoning motion, and Gajeel grinned. This would be fun.

He launched forward, going to punch Bickslow. The other man jumped back a few times, and Gajeel grunted with each missed hit. He had heard BIckslow was an acrobat, and he was dancing rings around Gajeel. His physical attacks anyway.

"Iron Dragon's Roar!" He yelled, and a beam of dragon slayer magic spurted from him.

Bickslow dodged it, of course, but Gajeel had wanted that. As Bickslow made some comment that got drowned out in the fighting, he had allowed Gajeel to target him. Thrusting his fist forward, he punched Bickslow in the jaw and made him stumble back. Gajeel didn't miss the opportunity he'd created, and lurched forward to pummel more punches into the man, only some of which his dolls managed to deflect.

Suddenly, a hammer made of ice slammed into Gajeel's head.

He stumbled back, wishing he had fully covered himself in iron. He looked to see Gray standing over Bickslow protectively, with a few spurts of blood from where Freed must have hit him. He could also see a small glow from one of Freed's runes on Gray's arm. He didn't know what the effect was, but he felt a swelling of pride. That was probably kinda stupid, but fuck it. His boyfriend was a badass and he was gonna be proud of it.

Was Freed his boyfriend? They didn't speak about it. Gajeel wanted to be Freed's boyfriend.

Before the thoughts could spiral, Gajeel felt Freed's hand on his shoulder. The fight had broken for a moment so they could all catch their breath and Bickslow could stand again, and Gajeel felt a fizzing on his arm, where Freed was touching him.

"It's immunity," Freed murmured, but was smirking. "Be prepared. This will be intense."

"Come on baby!" Bickslow yelled across the space. He was grinning with his tongue hanging out. "This ain't the time to be whispering sweet nothings into his ear."

"You're right," Freed smirked, and magic seemed to flow out from him. "Let's make this fun, shall we."

Walls of runes shot up around them, and the new rune on Gajeel's arm glowed and pulsed. Suddenly, Gray and Bickslow were being pushed into the ground in the same way Gajeel had been earlier in the week, and Gajeel grinned at the sight. They were taking this seriously, and Freed wasn't afraid to pull out some nasty tricks. Good.

In tandem, Freed and Gajeel began their assault. Freed started to cover their opponents in different types of pain runes, and Gajeel began slamming his fist into their bodies over and over, loving the feeling of the punches connecting.

Fuck this felt good! Brutal and unrepentant and-

This was all too violent. This was meant to be a friendly match, why was he enjoying this so much?

Realisation struck him, and Gajeel turned to look at Freed again. The man's demonic eye was glowing and a mist of magic was forming around it. Again, the demon had been influencing them both and making them more cruel than normal. Adrenaline was still running through Gajeel and there was a loud voice in his mind screaming at him to keep going, keep hitting, make them bleed and bruise and burn! But that was the demon, and who knew how bad it was for Freed.

Gajeel looked up, and saw that the full moon was parting the sky. It beat down on them, unimpeded by the clouds and hitting Freed directly. He quickly remembered that today was the shortest day of the year and fuck Freed was losing control.

He needed to stop this.

Suddenly, a dome of ice covered Freed, clearly from Gray. Gajeel didn't spare him a glance, because Freed was a priority, but he saw the walls of runes falling down. He felt the new rune on his shoulder suddenly disappear, and his gut started to flip. Was that Gray's magic cutting him off from the runes, or something more.

The fog from Freed's eye was getting thicker, and covering more space. The dome was quickly filled with mist, and Gajeel couldn't even see Freed inside of it. What the hell was happening? Was the ice making it worse? Magnifying the moon's effect somehow? Was that how it worked?

"Stop!" Gajeel yelled when he saw Gray running at him. "Fuckin st-"

The ice exploded.

Freed wasn't standing there anymore. The demon was.

Power exploded, knocking every mage watching the fight to the floor. Gajeel scrambled and failed to keep himself upright, and he was flung to the dirt. Dread filled him, because even though he had only seen Freed's demonic form standing there for a second, he knew that Freed wasn't in control.

"Gajeel Redfox," A voice like Freed's, but warped and mutated and cruel echoed through the courtyard. Everyone was watching, but Gajeel was transfixed by the demon. "Did you like the little dream I sent you? The one where I told you what would happen if you attempted to claim what belonged to me. The one that made it very clear that this body is mine to play with. The one that you ignored."

What the fuck. What the fuck!

The dream had been from the demon. The dream where everyone was dead or nearly dead and they were trying to kill Freed and Gajeel couldn't do anything. The one he had so desperately been trying to ignore. The dream was from the demon!

"The message was ignored, so perhaps I should be clear," The demon walked towards Gajeel, slowly. "You should learn to leave well enough alone. Because this body is mine to toy with. And as you've disrupted that, I intend to fix the issue."

A tendril of black magic - the same black magic that had hit him in his fight against Freed - shot out from the demon's claw. It coiled around Gajeel, who could only scream as a pain like nothing he could imagine filled him. It was every aspect of agony condensed into a single feeling which was designed to explode on his skin. The pain was overwhelming, and Gajeel only barely recognised that he was being lifted off the ground, the coil of darkness wrapping tight around his neck.

"You should have left him alone," The demon snarled at Gajeel, dragging him closer. Gajeel could see the fangs, the scales, the cruelty. "He's so much more fun when he's alone. And he will be again, soon enough."

The coiling darkness tightened. It was going to kill him.

He was struggling to breath now, and the demon forced him to maintain eye contact as his life was sapped away from him. He tried to struggle but there was nothing he could do.

"Freed, if yer in there I want you to-"

"He won't be able to do anything," The demon chuckled, and Gajeel was thrust forward so his nose grazed the demon's. "He's as good as dead. The only difference is, he's still conscious enough to watch what's about to happen."

Gajeel had never wanted to kill something before. He did now.

Before he could retort, a flurry of manic lightning shot from the sidelines and slammed into the demon. It winced, turning towards where Laxus was standing, now covered in lightning and with fury on his face. Gajeel struggled, hoping that the distraction would be enough for him to escape the coiling darkness, but the grasp of magic seemed to get tighter. He gagged a little, and his vision started to turn black, but he kept on fighting.

Lightning shot towards the demon again, but this time the vivid yellow turned to jet black, and the demon seemed to consume it rather than being hit by it. The demon started to walk towards Laxus, and Gajeel felt the binds tightening around him even more. Fuck, he was going to get crushed to death.

"You all wish to fight, it seems," The demon said, looking around at the array of mages ready to pounce. His eyes settled on Gajeel, and it grinned. "Let's make your dreams come true, shall we."

Fuck. Shit!

The magic coiling around Gajeel suddenly disappeared, and Gajeel was dropped into the dirt again. His muscles ached and his heartbeat was hammering. He did his best to get back to his feet so he could do something to help Freed, but his body had been sapped of energy and he could barely get to his knees. When he looked up - panting, bleeding and arms shaking with effort - the demon was looking at him with sadistic glee. Runes shot up around Gajeel, a cylindrical prison identical to the one that he had been trapped in in his dream.

Gods, it couldn't be happening. His dream had been awful and it was going to come true if he couldn't do something. But what the hell could he do?

The members of Fairy Tail started trying to attack the demon, with Laxus, Evergreen and Bickslow taking the lead. Natsu was soon on his feet, as were Mirajane, Gray and Elfman. Whether they knew what was happening or not, Gajeel couldn't be sure, but something innate inside of him wanted to scream at them to stop. Attacking the demon wasn't going to get Freed back, it was probably going to get them killed, and dammit this wasn't how to get rid of the demon. It was a blight on Freed's soul, not on his body!

Magic welled up around the runic prison, and Gajeel stumbled to his feet. Fire, lighting, dust, ice, water, and pure magical chaos all flew towards the demon, and yet with a wave of it's hand, the demon dismissed it and countered them all with ease. They needed to stop; this wasn't how to save Freed!

Gajeel's runes started to glow.

Energy suddenly coursed through him, unnatural and unfamiliar. As chaos unfolded around him, Gajeel found himself transfixed by the glowing lettering on his arm. Magic - runic magic, not Dragon Slayer - was filling him now. It was powerful, addictive, and something new.

With a punch, the force of which was stronger than Gajeel had ever managed before, he managed to shatter the runes keeping him in place. The demon turned to him, face without emotion but a snarl ripped through it's throat. Gajeel felt adrenaline coursing through him like he never had before, and he raised the arm covered in runes, purple magic flickering from the exposed skin. For only a second, the demon flickered back to Freed, who was clearly trying to fight.

Freed was still in there. He had a chance.

That's what these runes were for. Not just marking. Not just a coincidence. They were Freed's magic, anchoring them together so Gajeel could pull Freed back from the edge.

"What was that?" The demon snarled when it took over. "What did you do?"

"I just figured some shit out," Gajeel grinned, walking towards the demon and covering his body in Iron. The runes still glowed. "Me and him, y'see, we're soulmates. I know, he knows it, and our magic fuckin' knows it. And yer a sadistic motherfucker who's been eating away at him for far too fucking long now. Not anymore. So I think it's up to me to cleanse his soul."

The magic erupted inside of him, and scales of iron covered him. His teeth grew sharper and his magic roiled inside of him. His dragon force was taking over, more powerful than it had ever been before. Runes covered every inch of his body. He glowed with the minging of his magic and Freed's, and felt more powerful than he could have ever imagined.

At that moment, he was a monstrous force of nature. Nothing could stop him.

With every step he took towards the demon, it's grasp on Freed seemed to lessen. Even being in Gajeel's overwhelming presence seemed to make it's dominance over Freed flicker back and forth. Freed was fighting the demon's control, and his body mutated back and forth between monster and man.

His eyes met Gajeel's, and a look of wonderment and relief filled his expression. Freed grit his teeth and managed to hold onto control, if only for a moment. That was all the time Gajeel needed.

"Let's sort this shit out right now," Gajeel proclaimed as he stalked towards Freed. "I'm yours and yer mine," He was chest-to-chest with Freed now, and wrapped a hand around the back of Freed's head, holding and anchoring him. "And as long as I'm still standin', that demon ain't got a fuckin claim on you. You understand me. Yer fucking mine!"

"Your damn right I am," Freed whispered, and had the smallest of grins.

Gajeel pulled Freed to him, and kissed the hell out of him.

Magic of cataclysmic power exploded around them, pushing everyone but the two of them to the ground. Gajeel dragged Freed as close as he could to him, his draconic body melding with Freed. The runes painted onto Gajeel were burning with the most addictive power that he had ever felt, and it was as if the feeling Gajeel had been unknowingly hunting for his life had suddenly been bestowed upon him. This moment was something he was destined to do.

The darkness that the demon had forced on Freed seemed to be burning away. Even Gajeel could feel the force of something wrong leaving Freed, and he pulled the man closer to him as the spirit seeped from Freed's soul.

As they kissed, a cloud of sentient shadows rose up around them. They pulled apart with the overwhelming force of evil looking down at them, searching for another soul to take over. Without needing to speak, both men turned to the demon's smokey form and raised their intertwined hands. Magic shot fourth without effort nor complication, and Freed's runes entrapped the demon while Gajeel's iron destroyed it.

Another unison raid, which came to them like second nature now.

"It's gone," Freed whispered, pulling away. "It's actually gone."

"Yeah it is," Gajeel agreed, pressing his forehead against Freed's. "It ain't ever hurtin' you again, y'hear me. Never."

"I know," He grinned, elated. "Gajeel, I lo-"

He passed out in Gajeel's arms before he could finish.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 6.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Eyo eyo, Fez and reader being cuteee.

Word Count: 2.5 K

Warnings: None

Read the rest here, babe:  PART 1  PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Not everything in your fuckin' life can go as you want it to go. That's some fuckin' Murphy's law or what. Sometimes you love a girl - and you find our she's boy afterward. Sometimes you want a child more than anything else and just can't have it and those who don't want them have a bunch of kids. Sometimes you kiss a man you have a crush in a pool in front everybody else on a party and everything in you just clicks off at once and you just fell asleep because the combination of eight shots of vodka drank in like five minutes and an almost deadly coffee kicks in too hard.

When you were a teen, you would swear it was you v. the whole world destiny thing. No-one stood by your side, you were a lonely soldier. You were sure that you couldn't reach happiness at any point in your life because something good happened just for something bad to happen immediately after that. But as time was passing, you got to know that everyone has their ups and downs in their lives, that life isn't a straight line of good things. Your life was completely normal and simple.

That morning your life felt nothing like simple or normal. You had a hungover, your head hurt so much it was unbelievable and you were sure that you must be paralyzed because your brain acted like it can't move your body a shitty millimeter forward.

But at least you weren't naked, in fact, somebody has laid you on a sofa and covered you up in a furry, nice-smelling blanket. Your body was warm, but your hair put in a messy bun was still wet. Overall you felt safe and nice.

After having an internal argument with your brain, somehow your eyes managed to open. The light around you was subtle, thank God, so your eyes didn't hurt as much as they could. This place was not familiar to you - it was a small, older flat. It smelled a bit like a good vodka and a good quality kush. You were sprayed all over an old, brown sofa on three big pillows which could be considered mattresses.

A single idea of where you were or how did you got there could not be found in your mind. You must've been tripping during the night a lot.

A hum came up from your lips as you sat, almost screaming when a boy appeared on a sofa on the opposite side of the small table. He was watching you with an intense stare, chewing on a small piece of wood. You were shocked, he was around thirteen years old, but his face had a few tattoos on them, he had a murderous look in his eyes and overall, he was appearing like a not so much friend person to you. You have seen him at the shop as well. He crossed his hands over his chest, not leaving you with his not so nice gaze.

"Ya feelin' alrite? No serious stomach ache or some shit like dat?" - He took the wood out of his lips and remained in looking at you.

"I think I'm good. Headache is the thing that makes me a bit uneasy." - You smiled at him, but his face remained completely, dead serious. Then he nodded, got up and searched through a few cabinets. He gave you a glass of water and gave you a slight nod. - "There's some cereal in the cabinet, drink diz and take the pill, you will feel a bit betta'. Gonna find Fezzy, need to finish some business."

"What's your name, by the way?" - You shouted when he almost left the apartment. The boy turned back to you and played with his huge golden necklace in his hand. He has Fezco's hairstyle and his eyes were flat as well.

"Name's Ash. Nice to meet ya, girl." - He smiled a bit, it was almost invisible, but it felt warm. Then he left immediately, letting you all alone. So you followed Ash's instructions - you swallowed that painkiller and got up to have a small breakfast. Nesquik sounded the best to your grumpy stomach.

You had your Adidas shorts from the party still on, but no socks nor sneakers or your very own t-shirt. Somebody lend you a really long, old, oversized t-shirt which reached the lower half of your thighs. You sat there, leaned with your ass into the counter and held the bowl in your hand. It seemed that Fezco took you home. Could it be his home? His flat? That could be possible.

"Heya newbie. How ya doin'?" - Fez walked into the room with a slight smile shining through his face. Then he seemed to be emotionless in the next second. - "Ya alrite? Ash said ya lookin' good but I like to be sure on ma own."

"Yeah. I'm... I'm good actually. I'm really glad for those painkillers, only my head hurts a bit. Should my stomach hurt?" - You asked with a frown. Ash and Fez both ask you without talking to each other.

"No, it should not. Just askin', I'm curious. You drank." - Fez added. The fear that you made a genuine asshole form yourself in front of everyone was gone in a second. They were just worried when you were out.

"Nice clothes. They aren't Ash's, are they?" - You asked with a slight smile. You rearranged the t-shirt upon your breasts. He nodded, but his expression hasn't changed a single shitty bit.

"Haven't touched ya when you fell asleep, I swear. Any of us. Just brought ya here, made ya wet clothes hang up and covered ya in a blanket. Wanna some coffee?" - He swayed from the sofa to next to the counter just a slight away from you, making the machine brew some.

"... Impatient, I see. Okay. Will have some, thank you." - You nodded and shoved your mouth with a spoon full of some Chocolate cereals. You would fucking swear that it was the best food you ever fucking had.

"Wild evenin' wasn't it?" - Fez asked. Your body tensed a bit as you watched him. You remembered taking eight shots in a row like a pro, you knew that you kissed him right in the pool... But then it was a big black hole in your head.

"If you say so..." - You said quietly with a guessing tone because you really didn't know what happened.

"Nobody kissed me like that in ages." - Fez said in a muted tone which was perfectly matching him in your head at that moment. He had a privilege as well - your cheeks reddened in an instance. He sounded... Like he liked it. And all of it. - "So if ya wanna..." - He stopped himself for a second and laughed at himself. You smiled as well.

"To do something more?" - You asked impatiently, but he frowned and watched you with an unsure face.

"I was thinkin' more like a dinner or shit." - He answered after a prolonged moment. A little "aw" escaped your lips while you felt like a dummydumdum. He was trying to be romantic and now you looked like a thirsty bitch. All you needed was a few smacks in the cheeks. You completely lost yourself in your mind for a few minutes while Fez got both of you a cup of coffee, which made him continue in asking. - "But if ya more hook up chick, think I can handle that shit as well."

"Dinner and shit does sound great to me. I would love to go out with you." - You said hurriedly all of a sudden while he was still talking. When he heard you say that and as he watched you drinking the coffee he made for you, a flash of a bright smile shined through his face. But he was subtle in an instance again.

"Alrite. Make yourself at home, don't go to the back of the house, have some food or what do ya want, yo clothes are hanging there." - He pointed his fingers onto the radiator. - "And here's yo phone. Someone was hitting' it all fuckin' night. Yo better write them back. And if ya want, keep dat shirt. Not gonna need it." - He gave you it and seriously - there was a lot of missed calls and some texts.

"Gonna need to do some shit in the store. Leave whenever ya want, alrite? And hung a paper with yo number on the fridge so I can hit ya up too." - He put his mug on the counter and you would swear he was leaning into a quick cheek kiss, but then he leaned away from you.

So you sat down again, covering yourself in the blanket to feel warm, still sipping the coffee he made for you. It was Rue, it was Fran.

Big sista: Where yo ass at?

Big sista: We need 2 go. Where yo at?

Big sista: Ur freaking me the fuck out.

Big sista: Where the fuck are u. Come on. Call me.

Big sista: Alright. Gonna tell ma u stayed at Rues. Hope ur good.

So Fran was searching for you from midnight until one am. But you were nowhere to be found.

Morgan Freeman: Where yo lazy ass at, Jesus?

Morgan Freeman: Yo are a party wrecker. Where the hell yo at?

Morgan Freeman: Okay, Ash just turned in and said that Fez took u to his home.

Morgan Freeman: Hit me up where you're up.

Both of them were afraid of you when you have disappeared. You somehow found it so sweet you smiled to yourself. And so you turned in and texted to Rue that you're completely fine. Then you called Fran not to be worried about you, that you're good.

"Where the fuck were you?" - She yelled second after picking up the call. You put the phone a bit further from your ear and looked around you to inhale Fezco's own flat.

"I got a bit too friendly with some local vodka out there and passed out. A friend took me to his house. No big deal, Fran." - You huffed out and got some sugar to your coffee to make it sweeter. Fez's coffee was too bitter for you to handle.

"No big deal, shithead? Last time I remember, you were the more adult one of us. You're fuckin' seventeen." - Fran said angrily and you could feel that she wants to give you a punch to your nose as soon as you get near her. - "Listen to me, I saved yo ass. Ma thinks you're with Rue. Are ya with Rue?"

"I'm not with Rue, but you can trust me, this person is seriously cool. You two would get along." - You said calmly. Fran was making a big deal out of completely nothing. You only took a bit too much to drink. She was doing it all the time when she was your age.

"Okay. Okay. Imma calm down. I was just worried, shithead. Be safe. Alrite?" - She exhaled out loud and sent you a kiss through the phone. That was what you loved about her. Usually, she gave up and said that you're the smart one and that you know how to take care of yourself, she was able to say that she was doing the same things as you are doing.

"Yeah. I love you too." - You said quietly with a big smile and hung up the call. Not too long after that, the patrol slash cavalry arrived - Rue was knocking on the apartment door. She was dressed as always, in her own messy way, her hair was messy as hell and she looked tired. Only God knew what was her night out.

"Hey, you lil minx." - Rue said with a huge smile and gave you a big hug. She warm and she smelled nice with a slight touch of the alcohol lasting in her system from the last night.

"Hey, Morgan." - You whispered happily and let her in. She seemed to be well oriented in Fezco's apartment, again pouring her some coffee and taking some chips from one of the cabinets. Of course, her eyes didn't miss that you had someone's clothes on.

"Always thought that Fez has a nice wardrobe, but it looks even better on you. Ya startin' some collection?" - She sat next to you as you turned the TV on and you gave her an ironic look. - "Just kiddin', kiddo. But from the things I've fuckin' heard, you hit it off pretty well yesterday." - That look was somehow different. She looked happy for you two, she must've heard that you made out.

"Have seen Fez on the way in. He looked chill as if he had the best kush after a long fuckin' time, but I know that he has the same weed as always." - Rue playfully raised her eyebrows. That made your cheeks redden, Rue acknowledging that you made her friend's day better. That felt lovely. That felt good. And it made your day better as well.

"Are ya blushin'?" - She laughed and took your shoulder to your palm. - "Tell me everythin'. Tell me what Fez have said in the morning when he saw you?"

"He... Asked me out. He wants to go out with me. And it looks like he likes the way I kiss. I thought that he leaned to give me another one, but then he walked away." - An excited squeak escaped your lips. You were outta the place because of Fez. It felt like a start of something between you two.

"So Fezzy for himself a girl. And a nice one which I do like. You don't even know how lovely this is." - Rue leaned her head onto your shoulder and watched the TV with a dreamy look. You kissed her and then watched the TV as well.

You two left at two p.m. before you could even standstill on your own feet. A small paper hung on the fridge when you and Rue were leaving home with your number your sign with a small heart at the end. Without a word, she automatically set the course to your home and Rue was walking along with you.

"Hello. Enjoyed yourself last night?" - Your mom got up from her small garden, waving at the two of you, walking down the street.

"'t was good, Mrs. Y/L/N. We had fun, watched some Johnny Depp movies, we had a good time." - Rue's hand hung over your shoulder and she smiled.

"Looks like you had a long night, you two. Do you want some lunch?" - Your mum greeted Rue with a quick hug as you two walked inside. You immediately went to your bedroom and changed your clothes in order not to smell like weed. Then you went back to the dining room, where Rue was already sitting at the table and ate her spaghetti at a fast pace. Your plate of spaghetti was served on the table as well. You started to eat. 

When Rue looked at you, her look was somehow playful. She was glad. 

You and Fez were off to a good start.

[razorblade180]

RWBY Melody 8

Adam:So......who’s going first?

Yang:Blake obviously.

Adam:Excuse you, I didn’t realize you spoke for her.

Yang:I don’t, I just know nobody cares to hear your opinion or singing.

Villains:We’ll listen to spite you all though.

Yang:Of course.....

Mercury:Don’t act surprised.

Tyrian:Villain code.

Qrow:Might as well call it the crazy code.

Tyrian:Guess that means you’re with us. Only a madman would deny a goddess and follow a fool. Or is it the girl you follow? Terrible decision either way.

Cinder:Horrendous.

RWBY:You trying to pick a fight!

WTCH:Bring it!

🔥SHUT UP!🔥

Everyone:......

Ozma:Can we remember the flame will incinerate anyone it wants?

Salem:Seriously, be civil here unless the song you see is a diss. Now then, can we move on with this? Who’s going first?

Blake:I guess I’ll go first. *stands up* I have a feeling it wasn’t a choice.

🔥It wasn’t really. Drag Adam in a love song. The crowds overall opinion will decide your fate. Adam shall sing second in response. One secret person holds the true weight of his life. Everyone could hate his performance but that one person can save him regardless.🔥

Adam:What?

Sienna:That seems like a handicap.

Salem:Well it makes sense. I might not know all of you but it’s clear to see some of you aren’t very popular. I have a feeling some of you would be dragged into the flame immediately otherwise.

Cardin:(I’m not doomed at the start, thank god)

Jacques:(I have absolutely nobody here that would vote for me anyways.)

Adam:*looking around* (Handicapped or not, the chances of a hero getting it are high. Add that with the people who have no reason and like Blake/on of her friends.....) Looks like I better cross my fingers and bring my A-game.

Salem:That’s the spirit! You ready Bl-

Music started playing before she could finish. Blake stood confidently with embers around her that quickly jumped to the people that’s supported her through her life. Adam took a long sigh and waited to take this dragging like a man; she was definitely gonna pass.

Blake: 🎶Now I'm out here looking like revenge.

Feelin' like a ten, the best I ever been and yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this, but it gets worse.🎶 *pulls Yang up*

Sun and Neptune: 🎶wait a minute🎶

Yang:🎶Now you're out here looking like regret. Ain't too proud to beg, second chance you'll never get.

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this but it gets worse!🎶 *grinning*

Sun and Neptune: 🎶wait a minute🎶

Bmblb:🎶Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this 🎶

Ruby and Weiss:🎶Aaaaahhhh!🎶

Blake:🎶And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah......🎶

🎶Baby, I'm sorry!🎶

SNI:🎶I'm not sorry!!!🎶

Yang:🎶Baby, I'm sorry!!!!🎶

JNPR:🎶I'm not sorry!!!!!🎶

Blake: 🎶Being so bad got me feelin' so good. Showing you up like I knew that I would!🎶

🎶Baby, I'm sorry!!!🎶

Kali and Ghira:🎶I'm not sorry!!!!🎶

Yang:🎶Baby, I'm sorry🎶

STRQ: 🎶I'm not sorry!!!!🎶

Yang:🎶Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns.🎶

Blake: 🎶Baby, fineness is the way to kill. Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill and yeah...

I know you thought you had bigger, better things, bet right now this stings!🎶

Sun and Neptune:🎶wait a minute!!!🎶 *steps aside*

Ilia:🎶'Cause the grass is greener under me. *smiles* Bright as technicolor, I can tell that you can see and yeah.....

🎶I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this but it gets worse!!!!!🎶

Sun and Neptune:🎶wait a minute!!🎶

🎶Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this🎶

Ruby and Weiss:🎶Aaaaahhhh!🎶

Blake:🎶 And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah!!!!!🎶

🎶Baby, I'm sorry!!!!🎶

Ruby and Weiss: 🎶I'm not sorry!🎶

Yang:🎶Baby, I'm sorry!!!🎶

CFVY:🎶I'm not sorry!!!🎶

Bmblb:🎶Being so bad got me feelin' so good. Showing you up like I knew that I would. Baby, I'm sorry!!!!🎶 *embers rise*

ORNJ:🎶I'm not sorry !!!!!🎶

Ilia:🎶Baby, I'm sorry!🎶

Sun and Neptune:🎶I'm not sorry!🎶

Yang and Ilia: Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned. Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns.

Adam:(Is this over yet?)

Sienna:🎶Talk that talk, baby🎶

Adam:(Nope....)

Sienna:Better walk, better walk that walk, baby.

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby. Oh yeah.....

Sienna and Ilia:🎶Talk that talk, baby!

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby!

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby!

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby!

Blake:🎶Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!🎶

Yang:🎶Baby, I'm sorry!🎶

Heroes:🎶I'm not sorry!🎶

Ilia:🎶Baby, I'm sorry!🎶

Villains:🎶I'm not sorry!🎶

Blake:🎶Being so bad got me feelin' so good!Showing you up like I knew that I would!🎶

Blake: 🎶Baby, I'm sorry!🎶

Everyone:I'm not sorry

Blake:🎶BABY, I’M SORRY!!!!!🎶

Everyone:I’M NOT SORRY!!!!

Blake:Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned.Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns.

RWBY:🎶Payback is a bad bitch and baby, I'm the baddest.

I'm the baddest, I'm the baddest..........🎶

The embers turn into color flames as they swirl around the entire crowd and back into the flame. A majority of everyone claps and whistles for Blake as her team hugs her excitedly. Blake and Adam take a moment to look at each other before she sits down.

Adam:Did everyone really have to chime in at the end there?

Sun:Feeling the pressure?

Adam:(yes) Not really.*walks to piano*........

Everyone:..........

Penny*whispers* Is he pausing for dramatic effect?

Winter:I think he’s stalling, or.......

Ironwood:This world makes everyone musically talented, but he’s still trying to play when he’s half blind.

Penny:Oh, if that’s the case...*runs to him* let me play half of the piano. I can synchronize with you to any song.

Adam:Ummmm okay?

Ruby:Penny!?

Penny:What? He obviously wants to play; what’s wrong with helping?

Ruby:.....You know what? Have fun up there. *smiles*

Penny:Ready when you are Adam Taurus!

The man nods curiously at his surprised helper. Everything around him started to mentally disappear as he took a deep breath; he had to do this right. Adam was gonna treat this like his only performance and not a chance to escape. Slowly his fingers hit the keys and Penny instantly knew what song he was going for. The two of them played in sync just like she said; the faint glows of embers around them.

Adam: 🎶I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me🎶

Yang:*chokes* (why is his voice nice)

Adam:🎶 This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy. *inhales*

I need somebody to heal, somebody to know... Somebody to have, somebody to hold.....

It's easy to say, but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain~

Now the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here, to get me through it all!

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved....! 🎶

Blake:......

Adam:🎶I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. 🎶*rubs chest*

Penny:*smiles at him*

Adam:🎶This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you.

Now, I need somebody to know; somebody to heal Somebody to have, just to know how it feels!

It's easy to say but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escaped!

Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all!

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved! 🎶

*embers expand*

Adam:🎶AND I~

tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes I fall into your arms~

I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around... For now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.🎶 *shakes*

Adam:🎶But now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug.......🎶

🎶I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.🎶

Penny played the last note almost mournfully. She was so focused on the song that she never bothered to assess the crowds reaction or Adam’s for the most part. Maybe it was because of how bleak the situation really was. The duo nodded at each other before looking across a ghostly quiet crowd. Embers have definitely reached a few listeners but most remained skeptical or dead set on ending him. His shoulder relaxed and closed his eyes.

Salem:Someone is rather calm in this situation.

Adam:I knew from the start I was basically singing my swan song. The writing was on the wall; maybe I should’ve sung that instead. Either way, I appreciate the unexpected help.

Penny:It my pleasure. *bows*

Adam:I’m curious though. Blake, what were you thoughts?

Blake:.......

Blake:Too little too late.

Adam:Fair enough. Gues I lo-

🔥pass🔥

Everyone turns to the flame on utter disbelief.

Ghira:He lost the majority!

Kali:Which means he impressed the person who gives him a free pass.

Yang:Okay, who saved his neck!?

Neo:*smiles* Someone who appreciates the simplicity of it all. Not to mention likes his voice.

Adam:You saved me?

Neo:Hehehe It would suck to go out like that because you’re not liked. You would’ve had to completely bombed for me not to help. *pats a spot next to her*

Adam:*sits down* I owe you one I guess.

Neo:More like several but as long as there’s a chance for you to save my butt and you take it then I guess we’re even.

Adam:Sounds good to me.

Yang:Damn, I guess we can’t predict the wild cards like that huh? Then again, I guess he got two wild cards thanks to Penny.

Blake:Looks like it. (Honestly...I’m a bit relieved) anything could happen here.

Ozma:(Looks like alliances and deals are starting to shape up. This just keeps getting more intense.)

[muse--memes]

Melodrama sentence starters

"I know about what you did and I wanna scream the truth."

"You're such a damn liar."

"Thought you said that you would always be in love, but you're not in love no more."

"Did it frighten you how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?"

"Honey, I'll be seein' you wherever I go."

"I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it."

"I'll come get my things, but I can't let go."

"Played it so nonchalant, it's time we danced with the truth."

"I'm acting like I don't see."

"My hips have missed your hips."

"Will you sway with me?"

"We're King and Queen of the weekend."

"Ain't a pill that could touch our rush."

"But what will we do when we're sober?"

"These are the games of the weekend."

"We pretend that we just don't care."

"I know you're feeling it, too."

"Don't know you super well, but I think that you might be the same as me."

"Let's let things come out of the woodwork."

"I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies."

"Know I think you're awesome, right?"

"Blowing shit up with homemade dynamite."

"Might get your friend to drive, but he can hardly see."

"I guess we're partying."

"You know it's really gonna blow."

"Half of my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor."

"I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush."

"I overthink your punctuation use."

"A rush at the beginning, I get caught up, just for a minute."

"Lover, you're the one to blame, all that you're doing."

"Can you hear the violence?"

"Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you."

"We're the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre, down the back, but who cares - still the Louvre."

"You are not my type, still I fall."

"I'm just the sucker who let you fill her mind."

"Baby really hurt me."

"He don't wanna know me, says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm, says it was poison."

"I guess I'll go home."

"I'll go home into the arms of the girl that I love."

"She's so hard to please, but she's a forest fire."

"You're a little much for me."

"You're a liability, you're a little much for me."

"The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore and then they are bored of me."

"Better on my own."

"I understand, I'm a liability."

"Get you wild, make you leave."

"I'm a little much for everyone."

"You're all gonna watch me disappear into the sun."

"Please could you be tender, and I will sit close to you."

"Let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through."

"I remember the rush when forever was us, before all of the winds of regret and mistrust."

"Our love is a ghost."

"Well I guess I should go."

"Alone with the hard feelings of love."

"God I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home."

"I light all the candles, cut flowers for all my rooms. I care for myself the way I used to care about you."

"I care for myself the way I used to care about you."

"These days, we kiss and we keep busy."

"Three years, loved you every single day."

"It was real for me."

"Now I'll fake it every single day 'til I don't need fantasy."

"I still remember everything, how we'd drift buying groceries, how you'd dance for me."

"I'll start letting go of little things 'til I'm so far away from you."

"Bet you wanna rip my heart out."

"Bet you wanna skip my calls now."

"Well guess what? I like that."

"I'm gonna mess your life up, gonna wanna tape my mouth shut."

"We're a loveless generation."

"We're a loveless generation; all fuckin' with our lover's heads."

"Know you won't remember in the morning."

"All the glamour, and the trauma, and the fucking melodrama."

"They'll talk about us, all the lovers, how we kissed and killed each other."

"We told you this was melodrama."

"You're walking out to be a good man for someone else."

"Sorry I was never good like you."

"Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd."

"Did my best to exist just for you."

"Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark."

"She's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart."

"I'll love you 'til my breathing stops."

"I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me."

"I'll find a way to be without you, babe."

"I still feel you, now and then."

"When you see me, will you say I've changed?"

"I love it here since I've stopped needing you."

"I am my mother's child."

"We keep trying to talk about us."

"I'm someone you maybe might love."

"I'll be your quiet afternoon crush, be your violent overnight rush."

"I fall into continents and cars, all the stages and the stars."

"In my head, I do everything right."

"When you call, I'll forgive and not fight."

"Ours are the moments I play in the dark."

"We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart."

"Maybe all this is the party, maybe we just do it violently."

"You're not what you thought you were."

"Every night, I live and die."

"It's just another graceless night."

"I hate the headlines and the weather."

"I'm 19 and I'm on fire."

"When we're dancing, I'm alright."

"This is how we get notorious."

"We are young and we're ashamed."

"All of our heroes fading."

"I can't stand to be alone."

"Let's go to perfect places."

"Let's kiss and then take off our clothes."

"All the nights spent off our faces."

"What the fuck are perfect places anyway?"

"All the nights spent off our faces, trying to find these perfect places."

[myvelouri]

Did I write about Sam? I think so, yeah she said she appreciates me, and it took her a while to warm up to me

She even asked if I was off tomorrow and said to come in and dab with her lol, which I think means smoke a blunt but yeah. She was really treating me like a whole full human being.

I think cause, well, she's the waitress that works there but she surprised us at Whataburger cause she saw me Ronnie and Hector chillin there. She freaked me out lol. But she saw me get some customers at the bar treating me with racism or sometimes calling me gay. I don't know if that's what did it but she thought of me as so sweet now. Cause even during the fight I accidentally dropped the drink on her she was trying to serve. It's okay, it was riled up and a lot of people. I grabbed onto her and told her to stop me. And I remember that. After it ended I went up to her alone and said "hey, I'm sorry I dropped that on you, I.." and she cut me off and said "omg you're so sweet, no, it's totally fine" and I said "okay" and walked away.

It was a wild night, that one.

But yeah so I did go see Sam the day after but she was busy at work. She didn't smoke with me at all. She was tired I suppose. Idk though. It's okay

I mean people do that. Ronnie said he was gonna text me to hang tonight but he didn't. So I know people do that, you know?

I love Ronnie. He actually told me "I was going to jump into that fight if that guy started hitting only you" and I was like wow I love you man. Idk how we got to be decent friends but I appreciate him

I'm a mostly loving and trusting person and no one sees that right away (anymore) because I look a certain way I assume.

Okay anyway, back to that night at Whataburger. She like surprised us. Hector and Ronnie left. That one dude working at Whataburger tried to get with Sam so much that Sam asked me to sneak her out. Lmao we did when the guy wasn't looking but we also refilled our drinks LOL. Omfg she was saying I should work with her, she was saying she's emo as fuck too. I am actually able to talk to her for a long time. Good chemistry. She a goof. Omfg right, she has a very goth name, it's so pretty, ffs her name is "Raven" and her last name is equally as goth. And she was telling Ronnie and Hector (before they left) how someone said something she LOVED which was "they said my name is like, um, those books," and I said "lmao SOMEBODY? girl, I said that hahahahaha" "fuckin, 'somebody'" and I was teasing her, like, it was really funny hahaha. And the book series was "a series of unfortunate events" yeah, Sam is very baudelaire. I'm somewhat well cultured and I knew other thing she has with her that one time. Like I said, I gave good Chemistry with her. And now she's open to me. I can't believe that happened. At the same time I'm really sad that this whooooole time I knew her she didn't really like me, up until now. I guess... I guess it took her a while to get to know me just by watching me at the bar and seeing me deal with many situations. As well as being sweet to her most of the time. I don't know. I joke with her a lot too, I tease her. I did this knowing that she wasn't into me. I just liked her as a friend I get to be goofy with. You have to realize I grew up like this, being the funny one, being the goofy asshole with many friends and girls, just having a good ass time laughing. I'm very fun! And so, yeah man, I liked messing with her. So I'm sad that she didn't like me right away like people used to. I don't know. I think my appearance is different and causing some issues here. I used to be more adorable. It is confusing to explain. It would take long so I won't do it here right now.

But yeah me and Sam escaped Whataburger and talked in the parking lot forever. She said the fact that she's asking if I'm off tomorrow or actually trying means that she sees me as someone real, and said she appreciates me. It warms my heart. But I selfishly am still bitter that I wasn't appreciated earlier? Not in regards to her specifically, but that this has been happening to me a lot recently? Ppl not liking me and shit? So yeah, she warmed my heart a lot. I told her "wow, well I'm glad you see that now, a lot of people don't see that in me anymore" she thinks I'm really sweet.

I don't know. During that fight at the bar with the homophobia piece of shit, I bumped into her and was still able to have clarity even in my drunkenness to aid her immediately, and I became soft so quick and said "I'm so sorry Sam, are you okay? I didn't mean to touch you there, I didn't mean to drop that on you" i forgot to mention that when that happened, and I had her hold me, because of the bar fight I was in, that I accidentally also grabbed her breast, not grab, it wasn't on purpose, I was riled up, wasn't even LOOKING, I thought it was her torso or arm, because I trust her you know? And yes after I did that I immediately said omg I'm.so sorry I didn't mean to touch you there... She understood completely.

And also as we joked while in Whataburger before we left, or escaped hahaha, I said "okay let's go babe" and I quickly laughed and said "lol wtf I just called you babe" and she laughed, and she was into that too. Can't remember her joke but she played along hahaha maybe called me honey or something. Fucking dork, lol.

I think it's so funny that she ran into us at Whataburger. Perfect timing. Cause me Ronnie, and Hector were at Steve's place smoking and drinking. For a whiiiiile. And we got hungry so we left to eat. What were the odds Sam was driving by Whataburger that moment we were inside already. And she saw us. Yeah haha she said she saw us so solhe decided to come in

I should ask her if she wants to watch the joker with me. I'd like to see it with somebody

I showed her the kitten I rescued! She knows about it all. She helped me out by telling me stuff about it

Ahhh

Yeah guys the girl who's snap I got last night? Yeah she uh, never added me back. That's another L for me.

I'm not weird or creepy. I don't know why I think that. Maybe I am now. I just want to die. This is all so much and this ain't even half of what I deal with. There's shit I deal with so heavy that I don't even post here. I mainly post about relationships and friendships here along with dealing with that while having depression.

But I'm not okay. I hate myself but I love myself, but I dislike myself a lot more. The parts I love, I wish were more amplified..

I need money. I should just call into work tomorrow

I'll be in bed all night tonight, listening to music

Idk why that girl never added me back. She told me she was gonna just chill all day today too. And I told her that's totally fine, we can do something anytime. It's nice to meet you, REALLY love your style!

And the way she looked at me with those "I think you're so fucking cute" eyes confused me. Usually you can tell you know? I can always tell when a girl thinks I'm cute. But I've been off now. So off. Literally no girl likes me anymore

I think I've become old and ugly

Lonely, weird and lost.

I miss many things from life. I want many things too. I still do. If not, then I just want death. Being alive while wanting things so badly and never getting them is torture... Especially when the things you desire are things that everyone already has and takes for granted. You don't know, you just don't know

I'm so hurt that this is my life

I don't think I deserved this... I don't think anyone deserved this