#hattori zenzo

[whosname]

Tatsuma karaoke song? Super Rad by the Aquabats, of course. (Zenzo's there 'cause he's helping Zura with the inflatable background dancers)

[harleytheapothecary]

Day 12 of voting for Saitou, Z

[symbieote]

Reading Gintama doujinshi on pixiv and there's a funny dissonance because I 100% can suspend disbelief to read romantic djs of Gintoki, protagonist of a manga where almost all romantic feelings are unreciprocated and which birthed the term 最終回発情期（フィナルファンタジー) to make fun of people paring up at the conclusion of a manga series. Oh he got lovey dovey gay married to one of his his rivals and foils at the end! Good for him!

What I draw the line at is any r18 action, not because I'm a prude or whatever, but because I absolutely cannot believe that either of them Trust Like That. Are you saying that a Gintama character is going to expose their bare unguarded ass to another Gintama character for the purposes of intercourse and expect there not to be some sort of horribly painful physical comedy gag. Did you learn nothing from Hattori Zenzo's traumatic butt injuries. The only djs that I would hypothetically be able to read without having to wrestle my disbelief like wrestling an alligator would be about either a)Gintoki and Zenzo doing some gruesome buttgore comedy and b)canon compliant Madao on Madao drunken one night stand action.

Not just the m/m stuff either! Do you think Sakata Gintoki is going to get it up long enough to penetrate any of his female love interests without some kind of stupid slapstick interrupting. Read the room コノヤロー he would never successfully hit home base without some kind of traumatic testicular injury to ruin the situation.

[lilliasan]

part 2

—

[yujee]

Gintoki In Wonderland

Chapter 3/5

After vomiting, the dwarves found him and thought he was dead, so they prepared a glass coffin for him. But what really happened was, he just fell asleep after vomiting. That’s why he was so shocked when he woke up the next day. He found himself about to be kissed by a beautiful light purple, long haired princess. He sprung up and noticed a silver ball on the princess’ hat. He immediately took the ball and was happy to find that it was a correct one. He was still hiding the ball when the princess suddenly started saying some odd things, like bondage or whip and whatnot. But Gintoki was unfazed and just ignored the princess, it seems like he was familiar with that setting. Just then, they were attacked by arrows. Gintoki grabbed the princess and told her. “The other woman I know, although she’s a pervert stalker, was much better since she has something to defend herself to.”

Jealous, the princess took out the daggers hidden at the back of her dress. “These should be enough right?” she handed him one dagger and started avoiding the arrows. Gintoki followed her and smirked. Both here and there, this woman still moves like a ninja. Gintoki thought. He started running away when he slipped on the ground.

“What the hell is this slimy thing?! There shouldn’t be anything like this he—” he stopped ranting when he saw where the slimy trail was coming from. It was from a mayonnaise. And there was only one guy in mind who could be holding it and leaving a trail of mayonnaise. Yes, you guessed it right. The demon chief of Shinsengumi in Gintama world, where Gintoki was originally from, Hijikata Toushirou. But the man before Gintoki was dressed differently. He was wearing a light blue vest with long white sleeves, dark blue pants, and a small brown cape.

Looking at person before him, Gintoki just sighed and wiped off the mayonnaise on his butt. This guy is here too, huh. So, if this guy’s here, the other one should be here too. Gintoki told himself. And he was not mistaken. As he was standing up, he heard another familiar voice behind him.

“Die Hanselllllll!!!!!” shouted the man who was attacking the ‘Hijikata’ with a big candy cane. He was also wearing almost the same clothes as the other one, except that this guy was wearing white shorts, with knee high dark grey socks, and long blue and red vest instead.

The mayonnaise guy avoided the attack. “How did you escape Gretel?!”

“Tsk.” The younger guy clicked his tongue. “Easy-peasy. Now prepare to die!” the younger one was about to attack the mayo guy again, but Gintoki, irritated that he was the one who had taken the hit earlier, pushed away their faces away from him as he was still in the middle of them

“Even in this world, you two are still at each other’s throat.” Gintoki sighed. “I thought I heard, ‘Die Hijikata!’ earlier.”

Gintoki has forgotten about the princess who was still running away, thinking he was chasing her. The arrows too, seemed to have stopped coming at him when he slipped on that mayonnaise. After he got away from the two idiots fight, he found the assailant hiding behind a tall tree. He threw his dagger and luckily it hit the assailant, on his butt. Gintoki went and dragged the guy out from his hiding place.

“I knew it.” Gintoki tied up the guy to a tree and sighed, again. “Hattori, huh?”

“Take out the dagger off my butt! You don’t know who you’re dea—” Gintoki then stuffed the big candy cane, he took from Gretel onto the hunter’s mouth. Yes, he was a hunter sent by the Queen to kill Gintoki because he was Snow White, but since the latter was tired of hearing explanations, hence this sentence is added.

“Blah, Blah, Blah, just tell me if you saw any silver ball around here. Just shake or nod your head.” Ordered Gintoki.

The guy just shook his head and tries to undo the bound, but it was too tight.

“Danna, can I have my cane back?” Gretel asked Gintoki was tightening the rope around the hunter.

“Never heard that word in a long time. Anyways, are you two done fighting?” Gintoki took out cane from the hunter’s mouth and gave it to Gretel.

“Sorry, I don’t know what to call you. And it seems that, the word suits you.” Gretel responded while nonchalantly drying off the cane onto Hansel’s clothes.

“Oi. What do you think you’re doing?” Hansel replied irritably.

The two were about to start fighting again, when someone flew over their heads. It was a witch. But there was something different from the witch, aside from her traditional witch clothing, a purple colored velvet dress with flared sleeves and a black pointed hat, there was something missing. And it was her broom. She was flying and was like sitting on a broom, but there was no broom in sight. It was like she was flying an invisible broom.

“Hansel and Gretel! Why did you run away? I thought you wanted to join my rebel group?!” the witch got off her ‘broom’ and walked towards the two idiots who were fighting again. The witch was sandwiched in the fights of the idiots. When she finally got away, she noticed the shocked Gintoki who too speechless to blurt out the word: ‘ZURA’. The fact that the witch was not a female, but a ‘she-male’ and this leader of the rebel group was trying to recruit those two officers who were his enemies, though from Gintoki’s world.

The witch pointed at Gintoki. “You, the one with curly hair, do you want to—”

Gintoki finally regain his composure and stuffed an empty mayonnaise bottle into the witch’s mouth. “Even here you are recruiting for rebels. Are you an idiot?!”

The witch spit the bottle and retorted. “I’m not an idiot! I’m a witch!”

“I’m sick of this joke. I’m leaving. I will look for the last silver ball around here.” Defeated, Gintoki walked away and suddenly the witch threw something at him.

“Oi! Are you picking a fight huh?!” Turning around, he roared at the witch who made Hansel and Gretel fell asleep.

“I’m taking these two again, in exchange for that, I’m giving you that silver ball.” The witch then went on his way, carrying the two sleeping idiots.

[claymorecut]

The best thing about Gintama is that you can hardly ever hate any character. LIKE, every single one of them is so damn brilliantly written, whether it's a villain or a side character or the main ones, all of them are SO awesomely unforgettable, you cannot say it otherwise. Everybody has their own role to play, everybody has their own story, everybody has their stupid jokes and everybody is somewhere, always, IMPERFECT, which makes them so damn appealing. The jokes, the intensity and even the tragedy, all of these makes them so damn good! I really didn't find ANYBODY I can actually HATE or say, they really didn't play a role, because even if they appeared in just one chapter/episode, they proved their importance, and that's what makes Sorachi-sensei such a great mangaka. His way of presentation, his gags, his work on them, I JUST LOVE IT. Gintama is soon going to end, say it or not, and as a hardcore fangirl I have my ships, but really, if my ships don't ever get canon or they may end up with somebody else, I really won't ever hate Gintama or Sensei (I know he's gonna give us a great end from what we're seeing ri8 now, no doubt about it) because that's how nicely he has given us, the Gintama fans, this big, awesome family and made us all fall in love with this, making us smile AND cry and still, loving it altogether. Thank you! Really THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS SORACHI-SENSEI!

[lovedaisy02]

Hemorrhoids are no joke. Take care of your butts

-Hattori Zenzo at some point probably

i think grossness is a vital aspect of life btw and we all experience it and i think its important to represent in art and i think oversanitization of popular media is 100% our downfall. things are gross and disgusting and yucky and thats life we cannot deny ourselves this

[oddjobsqueen]

This isn’t only the land of the samurai.

[hymnism]

[pwapuri]

I can accept the fact that Gintoki and Tsukuyo couldn't be up together because of Gintoki. But I realize that I can't accept these two not being together

[whosname]

Gintama Academy (affectionate)

(I'm sorry I'm very behind on the lectures. Yes, I'm the kid that's seated on the back and spends the whole class doodling)

[gorankudasai]

[imagininggintama]

F for Gintoki, Zenzo, Sakamoto and Sougo please? Love your blog💘

Thank you 💙

F - Favorite Position

Gintoki Sakata-

A form of missionary or spooning while facing each other

Zenzo Hattori-

Face Off

Tatsuma Sakamoto-

G-Whiz

Sougo Okita-

Doggy Style

[goldenlaquer]

Random word: waterslide

Random character: Hattori Zenzo

Sorry I wanted to make this the most random thing ever, I hope it helps👊😔

((I'm sending you a big hug and ice cream for the soul🌸💕))

And I'm sending you a coupon for unlimited deep kisses, non-refundable, no exchanges, expires on February 30th.

-----

It starts with a grumbling stomach, which ya know, might not seem so bad, just the digestive system working hard for its rent, but there are stomach grumbles... and then there are stomach grumbles, if you get his drift. The former are the society-approved, cute noises a self-conscious high-school girl might giggle away with her date and subtly shift in her seat in hopes that the stretch will somehow prevent any other sounds from further embarrassment—not that she needs to care since they really are so cute dammit some people don't know how good they got it— Anyway, when it comes to the latter, stomach grumbles, while given the special treatment and typed out with italics and bolds for the dramatics and emphasis, it really doesn't give justice to the sheer violence that will soon follow it; the screams, the begging, the reek, the burns... if Dante ever gets around to writing out a 10th circle of hell, then Zenzou would have to be his prime consultant, having experienced it after every time those stomach grumbles caused a mini earthquake within his immediate vicinity.

But yes, it starts with a grumbling stomach, and Zenzou leans over to whisper curtly in Sarutobi's ear, "Yo. Gotta go." Her knowing him for so long, she has to know that this is code for: 'you won't be seeing me in the next hour, I'm 'bout to clear the guts out'.

Sarutobi, that heartless bitch since their genin days, doesn't look up from her pamphlet, just flips it over to peruse the park map on the back and snaps, "No. We're almost to the front."

That's true, there's only a few people left before their turn. It's the newest attraction in the park, boasting a 5,000 feet water slide, the longest in the Milky Way, complete with the twisties and twirlies and a mini open-bar to quench any alcoholic tendencies you might have during the ride. They've been waiting in line for hours it feels like, and Zenzou has just the luck to be needing to take a shit the moment right before the wait is over. He'd feel bummed out if he had the mental capacity for it at the moment; the only thing on his mind is his butt warming a porcelain throne and building a log cabin in it.

"You can go alone." Zenzou says while shifting his weight left to right, trying not to sound like a whiny bitch.

"No, the sign says two people must go at a time."

"Find someone else then." Zenzou hurriedly turns to leave, but is stopped by a sharp pin-prick to the back of his swimming trunks, hovering over a very dangerous and very sensitive spot.

"Take another step," Sarutobi says menacingly, her glasses flashing white, "and I can give you a quick fix."

"I need to go!"

"And I want to try the open-bar." The kunai digs in a fraction deeper and Zenzou obediently returns back to his original position.

The majority of the wait felt like hours, but the final stretch feels like the progress of a love triangle. He is hurting. Sharp pain and pressure building in his abdomen to a concerning degree; if he were to go right now, the fight would be epic, it'd for sure earn a spot on his top five, maybe even top two. But being where he is, Zenzou desperately has to do everything to delay the inevitable; he's counting back from a million, stretching and hip twirling, clenching his glute muscles around the curious prairie dog. But his horoscope for today lied, the traffic does not dissipate for even a moment.

"Sarutobi," Zenzou says desperately. "Please."

No mercy, as always. "We're already here." Without him realizing, it's now their turn. A two-seater tube awaits and the slide employee gives them a serviceable beam before launching into a small explanation about the ride and the rules and the mini-bar (twenty and up only!), and Zenzou does not hear one word, sweat is dripping off his face and his leg is bouncing up and down like a junkie—he just wants it all to be over before he jackson-pollock-paintings-it all over his trunks and dignity. When the green light is finally given, he all but dives for the tube, grimacing in agony because the movement kinda jostles his-

"Wait." Sarutobi stops him, narrowing her eyes in contemplation. "I want to ride in front."

...

Later, a sign placed right out the front of the water slide will read:

We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, but until further notice, this ride will be closed for maintenance! Thank you!

[misspawa13]

Gintama: Review de episodios -Parte 13-

Episodio 43:

Episodio que pone a las mujeres a competir para ver quién será la próxima heroína después de que Kagura supuestamente se ha marchado.

Seh, claro.

Lo siento mucho decirlo, chicas (en realidad no), pero ninguna le llega ni a los talones a Kagura para tener ese puesto. O sea, mírenla. Es perfecta:

Es la única y auténtica heroína.

Igual, buen intento al resto… Supongo (?

Je, esas caras de estupefacción de Gin y Shin cuando Kagura regresó son lo mejor.

Y empezamos con otra trama totalmente diferente para el final del episodio. ¡Qué novedad!

Elizabeth ha sido aparentemente secuestrada y Katsura quiere rescatarla.

Lo que me ha gustado aprender es que Sacchan trabaja de camarera. Se ve que no le rinde el trabajo de asesina. Supongo que no hay muchos pedidos, ¿eh? Lo que sí es que ese atuendo le queda hermoso.

***Lo digo en serio: Shinpachi cantando es espantoso pero me da vida.

Episodio 44:

¡Los Power Rangers versión ninja!

Ahora sí lo he visto todo. Ja. ¡Mentira! Seguro que al rato Sorachi me sorprende con algo más. Eso sí, él mejor disfraz es el de Katsura porque es amarillo y por si no se han dado cuenta, el amarillo es mi color favorito, jeje.

Jamás he visto a ninjas más incompetentes que estos, pero tampoco los he visto más hilarantes. ¡Y Shimpachi en realidad podría ser un buen ninja por con su nula presencia! ¡OMG! Mira que tiene el atuendo más llamativo y ni así lo pelan. Eso está de lujo. Creo que se equivocó de profesión al intentar ser samurái xD

Y por supuesto, si estaban involucrados los ninjas, Zenzo tenía que salir y aquí salió con su séquito que también son unos tremendos perdedores:

Y de nuevo, Katsura se lleva la mejor parte porque: ¡aparece el ataque del laxante otra vez!

No por nada dicen que más vale maña que fuerza. Pero pobrecito, me dio mucha pena cuando fue a buscar a Elizabeth todo machacado y Eli ya lo había olvidado haciendo su vida aparte. Es que es tan torpe.

***Pregunta genuina: ¿algún día le veré los ojos a Hattori?

Episodio 45:

El episodio del gigantesco Sadaharu…

Ay, por Dios, si ya era una talla de perro grande, esto es demasiado. Pero lo hermoso es que ninguno en la Yorozuya pretende abandonarlo a pesar de los problemas, en especial Kagura. Miren esta hermosa escena de ella cubriéndolo de la lluvia.

Fue interesante aprender qué es Sadaharu en realidad. Básicamente un ser místico que protegía la tierra. Interesante.

Pero obviamente con esta panda de subnormales las cosas no salen a pedir de boca. Lo de atorarse con la flauta fue genial xD

Y ese juego de béisbol ha sido el mejor que he visto en mi vida. Y Shinpachi es el mejor señuelo.

***Mis caras cuando veo una oportunidad para deshacerme de Okita.

[gintokissilverbells]

imagine/scenario for zenzo, hijikata, and katsura cuddling with a s/o who's been down in the dumps for a while? 🥺

A/N: Thank you for the ask Sweat Pea!! I changed it a bit and made it a reader-insert kind of thing. I hope it doesn’t bother you too much!! Lastly, I hope you are alright Anony. I know that my words might sound empty especially from a stranger, but I truly hope that you feel better and that you get out from whatever dark time that you might be going through right now. I wrote this imagine/scenario in hopes that you can also feel my feelings of comfort through them.

One more thing. I will like to share one of my favorite quotes from Gintama. I also hope this helps you in whatever way you need it. :)

“The night is darkest just before dawn. But keep your eyes open; if you avert your eyes from the dark, you’ll be blind from the rays of a new day… So keep your eyes open, no matter how dark the night ahead may be.” -Sakata Gintoki

~Mrs. Sakata

Masterlist

Rules

Hattori Zenzou

Zenzou noticed the change of mood immediately. He wasn’t sure what caused it, or what was happening, but he knew something was not right. You had a forced expression in your eyes as you looked a him from doorstep of his home.

Leaning forward, he helped you into his home before helping you take off your shoes. Maneuvering you through his house without triggering traps, he finally made you settled down onto the tatami mat of his room before he laid out a futon for you to lay on.

Confused for a moment, you looked at him questioningly before he shrugged,

“Just lay down.”

Curious, you laid down and he right next to you. Bringing you into his embrace, he started soothingly caress your hair before he spoke, “I don’t know whats wrong, but you can let it out now. I’m here for you.”

As if like magic words, your eyes opened the flood gates and soon you were quietly sobbing into his shoulder. Sniffling a few times, you took a deep breath before continuing on. Zenzou just quietly soothed you as you were letting out your bottled emotions, and gave you a tissue before letting you bury your face onto him to continue. After a while, you quieted down and he looked down. You were fast asleep, and he wiped away the tear streaked cheeks of yours.

Pulling away a little to fix your positions into a more comfortable one, he combed your hair out of your face before he started to trace your lips softly. Kissing your forehead in comfort, he whispered, “You don’t have to shoulder everything by yourself.”

Cracking an eye open after a whole, you sighed quietly, “I know..”

He smiled, and his eyes sparkled a little before he mumbled, “Let’s nap. We will talk about it later.”

You nodded and instinctively you pushed yourself into his arms and buried your face onto his wet shirt. Cuddling as if it was the end of the world for both of you. You took in another deep breath, but this time full of his unique scent before mumbling sleepily, 

“Mhm…Later.”

Hijikata Toshirou

Hijikata had gone to visit you. Today was one of those rare moments when he had some time in his hands, and decided that today was the perfect day to surprise you with his presence. Maybe today will be the day he will take you out to watch that movie that you he wanted to watch. Or maybe to that cafe you had mentioned casually when you texted him earlier that week. Or maybe taking a stroll at the park through the snow to look at the people having fun.

Now that he thought about it, you had only texted him a few times during the week and now he had become worried about you.

Finally arriving at your place, he knocked and called out your name. Seeing that you didn’t answer; he was about to turn around and leave before he finally came to the conclusion that there might be something going on with you. Deciding to intrude into your place, he walked in and took of his shoes in the foyer.

He entered the dining room, and found you looking at your pet play from the kotatsu. You were hunched over and resting your head on the table, and didn’t notice him looking at you with a soft gaze that quickly turned into worried one. Your usual brightness was dulled out and seemed quite sad. Your usually expression quite not there. Sighing, he finally sat down next to you and cleared his throat.

Looking around, you saw your significant other laid on the table as well looking at you with one of those soft gazes he rarely gave you. You smiled sadly, and laid back down looking towards him.

“I didn’t hear you enter.”

“I called out from outside, but you didn’t answer and I imagined you were busy.”

You made a noise before asking, “But you entered anyways?”

He nodded, “I was worried. You haven’t texted as much as usual. Are you alright?” 

There was a silence before you leaned into him and buried your face into his clothes. Taking a deep breath, you leaned back and looked at him with whatever you were feeling, being an honest open book.

“No, but I will be with time.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and only said, “No, but please hold me. At least for now. I will tell you when I’m ready.”

Hijikata gave you a rare smile before he wrapped an arm around you and made you lean into him more, as much as sitting down allowed. He kissed you softy before speaking into your hair, 

”I can do that.”

Katsura Kotaro

It had been a few weeks since they saw each other and now Katsura needed to go into hiding again after pissing off the Shinsegumi a little to much this time around. Deciding that the best place to hide and finally spend time with the person he loved was at their home; he made his way towards his lover.

He had entered through the window that they always left open in case he needed to hide. The room was bare except for some essentials he had been purposely leaving behind for when he stayed. The house was quiet, and there wasn’t any sign of movement outside the room. A little puzzled, knowing that his significant other was always around at this time of the day, looked around the house until he stopped in front of your room. He thought of just leaving you alone. For him it was not right for a man to disrespect a single woman by entering her room uninvited, but he knew something was not right with the scene.

Opening the room and peeking in, he saw you laying on your futon, looking out towards the open window. Closing the door behind him quietly; he slowly made his way towards you. Ready to scare you, but he was stopped on his tracks and saw a single tear roll down your face.

He stared at you with surprise, but you kept looking at the window. He finally made some noise, and you immediately looked over at the source only to see him. Wiping your tear away quickly, you forced a smile and welcomed him with the most cheerful voice you could muster,

“Oh my! Welcome back Katsura!! Oh my, I didn’t think you will be here today of all days. Let me prepare you some te-”

You made to sit up and leave until Katsura stooped down and leaned over you. Surprised, you leaned back onto your futon and looked into his eyes questioningly. Examining you with his gaze, he finally let himself fall on top of you and forced you to lay back down.

“Katsura, what are-”

“You haven’t been feeling well, right? Let’s just lay down like this for a while.”

Your heart thumped loudly, but you ran your hand through his hair. After a while, he moved off you and laid down next to you, bringing you into his warm embrace. Feeling comforted, you pressed your nose into his clothes and smelled his soft scent. 

“Want to talk about it?”

You shook your head a little, but that didn’t stop some of your tears to fall, “Not right now… let me just hold you for now.” 

He kissed your forehead and wiped a few of those strays off your skin. Sweetly, he kissed each cheek and then softly pressed his lips on each eye before tucking your head under his,

“I will be here until you’re ready.”

You sighed, and softly spoke, “Thank you… Kotarou…”