#hate is what kills the joy of a family brought together

[cadking]

Shoutout to all the guys in my government class who clapped when trump said the “only two genders, man and woman” thing and for none of the other policies. It really illustrates how the only thing that most young conservative men (and more than likely a majority of the women on the right, although theres a lot to be said about predation among girls from a young age and grooming to hate oneself that men just don’t experience) are simply motivated by hatred.

They could care less about the foreign policy, although, when prompted they will full-chestedly support the genocides our government backs, and won’t hesitate to refer to the victims as animals or less than human, doubtlessly due to propaganda and hate. They could care less about the economy, most of them haven’t gotten a single paycheck in their life, and if they did they would blow it all on fortnite anyway. They could care less about the “Gulf of America” and all the heroic patriotism that little stunt will doubtlessly bring to our great and prosperous nation (/sarcasm.) They only care about the harm that they can do and that they are encouraged to do to the Other. The president said that theres only 2 genders, and you cant change them, that means i can rail against your right to exist freely and express yourself the way you want. That means i can force you to be the way you should be. The president said so.

Thunderous applause. Thunderous applause.

And the most vulnerable will be screaming.

[merchen-aeravellae]

Deep in the Forest

Yandere Enemy x Reader

Warning: decapitation, death, war mentions

Two kingdoms engulfed in a conflict that spans generations, peace is no longer an option, and the thirst for revenge permeates the entire surrounding land. But battles are no longer the darkest things you can encounter in this desolate place.

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Yandere Enemy, who is a warrior, trains day and night with the purpose of protecting his rulers and his people from the threat posed by the neighboring kingdom.

Yandere Enemy, like the rest of the inhabitants of Nocheblanca kingdom, grew up with the idea that the Rosazul kingdom was eternal enemies of Nocheblanca and should be eliminated, but they are currently in a temporary ceasefire.

Yandere Enemy was training deep in the forest that connects both kingdoms, as he did every day, when he heard a noise behind a tree.

Yandere Enemy was surprised to find another person outside the grounds of the kingdom but quickly shifted to a battle stance when he noticed that it was a person from Rosazul.

Yandere Enemy expected to fight you, but all you did was raise your hands in a peaceful gesture and stepped back to give him space.

Yandere Enemy examined you from head to toe, and by your attire, he could tell you were a type of healer. He lowered his sword slightly but remained alert in case you made any movements that could indicate a fight.

Yandere Enemy only looked at you for a few more minutes, and when he realized you weren't leaving, he decided to leave first to break the awkwardness that had enveloped both of you. However, that wouldn't be the last time you two would encounter each other.

Yandere Enemy began to notice your presence every time he went to the forest to train, and no matter how much he changed his location, you always seemed to find him. At first, he threatened to kill you to be left alone, but when that didn't seem to work, he simply ignored you.

Yandere Enemy injured his hand one day while training but decided to continue as if nothing had happened. When you noticed this, you decided to help him. He refused at first, but when he realized you wouldn't take no for an answer, he had no choice but to accept.

Yandere Enemy, after a few weeks of this event, started tolerating you a bit more, and even had a couple of conversations that weren't threats. Unbeknownst to him, he was starting to feel comfortable with your presence.

Yandere Enemy, who began to hate himself, after months of interacting with you, came to the conclusion that he had developed romantic feelings for you. These feelings were forbidden, but he couldn't stop them he didn't want them to stop and they grew with each passing day.

Yandere Enemy knows that this would be considered treason to his homeland, but every time he saw you smile, that thought faded from his mind.

Yandere Enemy gathered the courage to confess his feelings to you, fearing rejection or the possibility that you might never want to see him again. He became the happiest man in the world when you admitted to having feelings for him too.

Yandere Enemy no longer went to the forest to improve his fighting skills; now his reason for going was you. He always brought an object that might interest you, or he would wait for you with a picnic.

Yandere Enemy was surprised when you told him that you had knowledge of healing and medicinal herbs because it had been a practice in your family for generations. It was also the reason why you were in the forest the first time you met.

Yandere Enemy, knowing you two couldn't hide forever and fearing what would happen if both were discovered, he asked begged you to escape together. Far away from both kingdoms, far from the fear of being separated, he wanted to find a place where you could create a life in peace, a place where you could be happy.

Yandere Enemy jumped for joy when you accepted his proposal. He couldn't help but embrace you, and for that brief moment, everything was happiness, until it wasn't.

Yandere Enemy returned to his home in Nocheblanca to start packing all his valuable belongings and clothes for the long journey ahead for both of you. However, halfway through packing, screams and lamentations were heard outside his house.

Yandere Enemy discovered that the heir of Nocheblanca and his guards had been killed while they were out hunting, including Yandere Enemy's brother, who was one of the personal guards of the Prince.

Yandere Enemy saw red the moment he learned that his brother had been murdered, probably by warriors from Rosazul. At that moment, all the hatred he had for them, which had been buried deep in his mind because you had occupied it, resurfaced.

Yandere Enemy, who began to plan his revenge, completely forgetting the plan to escape with you. His brother was one of the few people important to him, and now he was gone. Convincing the population of Nocheblanca to attack Rosazul was not difficult for him, and by the dawn of the sixth day, Rosazul had fallen. The royal family was in the dungeons, awaiting execution, but not before being tortured in the cruelest manner possible.

Yandere Enemy had a reality check at that moment. In his pursuit of revenge, he left you standing on the same day you two were supposed to escape together. Panic and terror consumed him as he searched for you among the prisoners, in the forest, and in the place he feared the most—among the corpses. But there was no trace of you.

Yandere Enemy became a war hero; now he had enough power to save you from the cruel fate of the rest of the inhabitants of Rosazul but it seemed like you had vanished into the air. He searched for you for two months and as more time passed, madness began to take hold of his mind, and regret consumed his bones.

Yandere Enemy decided to kill the heir to the throne, wanting to take revenge on the person "responsible" for keeping him away from you. If it weren't for the prince and his guards, the two of you would be living your best lives in a distant place.

Yandere Enemy didn't stop there. To make him suffer more, he decided that his entire family should witness his inevitable death. The guillotine and the prince were ready, with all other family members in a row, bound arms and sacks over their heads.

Yandere Enemy, who witnessed the exact moment when the heir's head was severed and when the sacks were removed from the heads of the royalty, he wanted to die at that moment. Now he understood why he never found your whereabouts, why he couldn't locate you—because you were with your family, in the dungeon.

Yandere Enemy never imagined that you were a member of the royalty of Rosazul, but he couldn't be angry with you for that. He knows that everyone makes mistakes, and he forgives you for not telling him earlier, just as you will forgive him for what he did to your kingdom and family.

Yandere Enemy, who went to the dungeons in the middle of the night to see you, found only a pitiful sight. You were handcuffed to the wall, beaten and wearing dirty and torn clothes, your gaze lost somewhere on the grimy wall.

Yandere Enemy approached you with the intention of hugging you, but he didn't expect you to scream. Every attempt he made to touch you ended in screams and your lamentations. The few words you spoke were filled with anger and hatred directed towards him.

Yandere Enemy is convinced that you only need a new place far away from others. He tries to talk to you about the plans you two had before to lift your spirits, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Yandere Enemy knows that the longer you stay here, the more likely it is that you'll be killed, so he steals you away while everyone is asleep, taking you far away to a hidden place where no one will find you both. He is sure that this will bring back the old you, the one who was deeply in love with him. He had to knock you out, tie you up, and cover your mouth in case you wake up early, but it will be worth it.

Yandere Enemy who found a cabin deep in the forest connecting to another kingdom, "mysteriously" the former owners disappeared, and now it belongs to the two of you.

Yandere Enemy knows that you still fear him, but not for long. He will make you love him again, and if it still doesn't work, he won't let you go. He prefers to have you even if you hate him for the rest of your life than not have you at all.

Yandere Enemy "I refuse to let you go, I don't care if you hate me, curse me, or hit me. We will always be together, whether you want it or not."

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Extra information, Nocheblanca is known for its warriors while Rosazul for its healers.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[human-space-heater]

Spoilers for Arcane Season 2 Act 2

(there's a lot because holy shit what just happened?!)

Cait and Maddie being a thing was NOT on my bingo card holy shit. Not understanding why there's hate on Maddie, I'm like 90% sure she didn't know that Cait and Vi had broken up, let alone were together! Cait the bed wasn't even cold and you moved on god damn.

Vander recognizing Jinx after seeing her and her bombs was so cute. Vander remembered Powder trying to make these working bombs and now can see her grown up with her bombs. And also wasn't expecting Vander and Silco knowing Felicia (Jinx and Vi's mom). They look so similar to their mother, it's insane. And Vander naming Violet! The tears omg.

The scene of Jinx and Vi reading the note between Vander and Silco was also so cool, especially the detail with the two sisters turning away from each other with the line saying "But it was on both of your hands." This shows attention to detail and its artwork is chef's kiss.

I will now be going on to call Vi's gauntlets her bitch mittens because that was hilarious.

"The vile villainess herself. The author of your nightmares." I love Jinx's need to be dramatic.

The reunion between Vander, Jinx, and Vi healed me in a way I WASN'T EXPECTING. Jinx and Vi fighting like siblings was also so wholesome. Also Isha joining their little family was such an adorable detail.

RIOT WHEN I CATCH YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART THAT LAST EPISODE! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. I WILL FIND YOU AND RALLY THE REST OF THE FANDOM TO GET OUR LITTLE GIRL BACK. (I have a theory about jinx for act 3 ill post later)

The tiny interaction of Jinx and Viktor brought me so much joy. They are both sassy geniuses and I love them for it. I need more interactions with them but SOMEBODY (side eyes that character) DECIDED WE CANT HAVE ANYTHING NICE IN THIS FANDOM

Jayce what the hell did you see that caused you to kill Viktor! You killed your bf! What the hell?!

Lest I love you and think you're such a badass. I need more screen time of this cool cat lady.

Mel being a badass. I love how elegant and level headed she is even in such a dire situation. Even when she realized that was not her brother, she did what she had to do in order to get out of there alive. And her magic thing was awesome as hell!

WHERE IS HEIMERDINGER AND EKKO?!

Cait and Vi planning was top tier. I was so upset that Cait gave Vi up to Ambessa. But the sigh of relief I took when I realized it was a set up should've cured my anxiety.

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

I'm Sorry

Young!Haymitch Abernathy x Reader

Summary: Moments of Haymitch having to mentor his ex-girlfriend

Warnings: Canon-level violence, implied smut, cheating, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 5.1K

Masterlist

“Haymitch!” I called my boyfriend’s name as he stepped off the train. He had just won the Hunger Games. Not just the Hunger Games, the second Quarter Quell. Where he competed with 47 other tributes. When he had won I was ecstatic and couldn’t wait for him to come home. But then I went to his family’s home and found nothing but the bleeding bodies of his parents and younger brother.

When he finally reached me, having to fight through the throngs of excited District 12 citizens, he wiped away my tears with a smile, mistaking them for tears of joy. “I’m back, sweetheart,” he smiled, pressing his forehead to mine. But as he pulled away he noticed my lack of a smile. “What?” he asked, fear creeping into his throat.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried, handing him his parents’ wedding rings. He immediately knew what that means.

“No,” he tried to deny, shaking his head. “No.”

~~

“Y/N L/N,” the district escort’s voice rang out as he called my ex-girlfriend’s name. I was honestly surprised I had managed to comprehend it at all given that the crowd was a blurry haze and every word was melted together in my brain. But I saw her clearly as she walked up to the stage, fear and rage on her face. I assumed fear for the games, rage for me.

She had been there for me as I grieved my family’s death. Even when I pushed her away she was there for me. She was killing herself for me while I poisoned myself with booze and hate. All until I couldn’t handle her care and my rage anymore so I picked a fight.

“Can you not?!” I yelled as she tried to clean up my new house a little. “Just fucking leave it.”

Her sad expression, I regret to say, brought me satisfaction. I loved to hurt her for no reason. A small part of me was pained to hurt her, I think that’s what allowed me to push her away rather than trap her with my hate. “Sorry,” she murmured softly.

“Yeah you’ve said that before,” I spat, poison dripping from my words. “Why are you still here?”

She sighed, biting her lip. I could see she was silently debating whether or not she’d open herself up to being attacked by my again. “Because I love you,” she admitted painfully, tears pricking her eyes.

I scoffed. “Well I don’t love you anymore.” A small piece of my heart broke as I watched her shatter. I had spent weeks abusing her, something a part of me reveled in, but I had never hurt her this bad.

She nodded her head compassionately. “I understand.” And with that, she walked out of my life for what I thought would be forever. The part of me that had reveled in her pain immediately became regretful as I watched her go. My regret only continued to grow as I kept tabs on her throughout her life.

I tried to catch her eye as she took her place next to our escort but she refused to spare a glance at me. I understood, I had tortured her when I got back and had spent the better part of a year borderline stalking her.

I glanced at the crowd, finding her new boyfriend of five months, Rune, standing there, slack jawed. I rolled my eyes at the oaf as the male tribute’s name was called, Landon Caleban. Of course Rune didn’t volunteer to protect his girl. I would’ve. Eleven months ago I would’ve laughed at her reaping but now that my anger had faded a little, I would give anything to take her place.

As she was escorted into the capital building, I followed, immediately going into the room she went into. She had barely sat down by the time I entered and it broke my heart that she looked so surprised to see me. “Y/N…”

“What are you doing here, Haymitch?” she asked coldly.

“Well,” I began, taking a seat across from her, “I am your mentor. And… I also care about you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah well you sure as hell didn’t care about me when you told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

I looked down at my shoes, ashamed. “I know and I'm sorry. I’d take back everything if I could. I was hurt, and angry, and god… I felt so powerless.”

“And I was your helpless punching bag?” she finished for me, disgust in her eye.

I nodded regretfully. “I made you, the girl I love who did nothing but support me, into a punching bag,” I confirmed, still looking at the ground in shame.

“Loved,” was all she said. I looked at her quizzically causing her to roll her eyes again. “You said ‘girl I love.’ You should say loved.”

“No, I still love you,” I insisted.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t love me anymore.”

“That’s because I had a lot of misplaced anger,” I insisted. “Yes, I know it’s not fair that I took everything out on you and I have no right to try to tell you I love you but I do.”

“Well what good does that do me? I’m being marched to my deat-”

“Don’t!” I cut her off “…fucking say that. You’re not fucking dying. I’m your mentor, I’ll get you out of there.”

Before she could respond, the door creaked open. I knew even before he spoke that it was Rune. “Babe, oh my god.” I cringed as I knew she hated being called that. He rushed over to her side, taking her hand in his. “I don’t even know what to say… I just…”

She shook her head dismissively. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“I promise I won’t date anyone else for a while,” he said genuinely, as if it were a touching thing to say. Even I knew that was probably the worst thing he could say. Y/N also stared up at him, a baffled look on her face. She made no verbal indication she heard him so I did. I scoffed, catching the little twerp’s attention. Upon seeing me, his face immediately soured. He knew who I was, what I had meant to Y/N. Everyone in 12 knew we were a couple. “Don’t you have a bottle of whiskey to down yourself in, Haymitch?” he sneered.

I just chuckled at his attempt to tell me to stay out of it. “Maybe you should try treating her decently and saying goodbye instead of planning your next random hookup.”

“You’re one to talk about ‘treating her decently,’” Rune immediately mocked.

Before I could respond, Y/N stood up. “Both of you shut up and get out.”

I started to say her name, hoping she wouldn’t kick me out too but she cut me off, insisting we both go. So I went reluctantly, making sure Rune left too. I’d be damned if I ever let him have a moment alone with her ever again.

As soon as we stepped into the hall, a woman I recognized as Y/N’s mother rushed in, tears in her eyes. As the door closed, Rune stepped close to me. “I know what you’re planning, Abernathy. But she’s not going back to you. You’re just a useless, 17 year old drunk who broke her heart. And I’m not gonna let you break her again.”

Some part of me knew he was right, I shouldn't be inserting myself in her life again but I had been missing her for the past eleven months. And now it was also my job to keep her alive despite only winning last year.

Not one to let Y/N’s rebound talk me down, I retaliated. “At least I actually believe in her and actually want to see her come out of this alive.”

Offense crossed over his face. “You don’t get to say that. You got lucky. We all know the odds, especially with you as a mentor. I’m her boyfriend, you blew your chance!” he yelled before storming off. I wanted to yell after him but I didn’t know what to say that hasn’t been said already so I just clenched my jaw before heading to the train.

~

I didn’t see Y/N again until we arrived at the Capitol. Probably for the best, I spent the two day journey sleeping and getting shitfaced. I hadn’t been back to the Capitol since my victory tour and I had absolutely no desire to go back but I’d be stuck doing this shit until there were two more victors.

When we all finally got off the train I finally saw her. She looked exhausted, like she hadn’t slept since she was reaped. I honestly understood. I tried to catch her eye but she seemed determined to look everywhere but me. And before I could try to approach her, she was whisked off to styling. So reluctantly I went to the penthouse until the tribute parade.

~

I stood with the other mentors, watching the tribute parade. My heart stopped when I saw the District 12 chariot. The camera never bothered to focus on them long but from the glimpse I saw, Y/N was hardly clothed. As was typical for District 12 tributes. The stylists were a big fan of just dumping black powder on us.

By the time the tributes were re-entering the building, all the mentors were waiting to bring their tributes back upstairs. Heading over to the last chariot I found Landon helping Y/N down from the chariot. She struggled in her stilettos and mini black skirt. I averted my gaze from her mostly bare torso, the only thing covering her was a lace top shaped to look like smoke. Along with an unhealthy dose of black powder to portray the coal-mines. Something they did practically every year. I kept my gaze firmly on her from the shoulders up. It felt like a violation of her privacy to ogle her like all the Capitol citizens or how I would have back when we were together.

I managed to meet her gaze but she quickly looked away, refusing to look at me again. Even in the elevator I caught myself staring at her longingly, just wishing she’d at least look at me. But she never did. As we stepped into the penthouse I let her go to her room. Remembering how exhausted she must have been, I had sleeping pills sent to her room along with a steak.

~

The next morning I sat at the table in the main room of the penthouse, eating breakfast. My attention was caught by Landon and Y/N heading to the elevator for training. I couldn’t help but admire the way the athletic clothing hugged her body. But as I noticed what I was doing, I averted my gaze back down to my food. It wasn’t until I heard a throat clearing that I looked back up at the pair. Y/N was looking at me, a conflicted and grateful look on her face. “Thanks for the uh… stuff, last night,” she thanked quietly.

“No problem,” I replied, in slight awe that she was talking to me. She just gave me a slight smile of acknowledgement before stepping into the elevator and disappearing.

I spent the next several minutes just staring at my plate grateful that I was finally getting somewhere with her.

~

I watched anxiously as Y/N took the stage for her interview. She looked absolutely stunning. Of course I always thought she was stunning but I had to admit, some of the Capitol glamours I could get behind. She was practically glowing under the lights, makeup drawing attention to her best features.

As always, everything was in a slight haze but when Caesar asked her a certain question, it sobered me up a bit. “So is there anyone back home that you’re fighting for?”

Y/N did her best to give a graceful smile. She knew how to appeal to the audience. “Well, my mom is back home rooting for me. I can count on her for that.”

“How sweet. Any boys?” he suggested cheekily.

I watched as uncertainty crossed her face before she answered. “Yes,” she answered, her voice noticeably weak, “my boyfriend, Rune.”

“Aw, well isn’t that so sweet, huh folks?” The crowd made coos of sympathy. “Tell me, did he visit you before he left?”

“Yes,” she answered, her voice cracking slightly again. “He said…” she trailed off before she seemed to decide what to say. “He said he couldn’t wait to see me after the games and that he loves me.” She gave a weak smile and my heart broke. I couldn’t believe she was lying to make this guy look good when I was the one who was actually there for her. Ever since she had thanked me for the food and sleeping pills, our relationship had improved. She no longer ignored and avoided my presence and conversation attempts. We had engaged in a few polite conversations and had even slipped back into old habits. One night, at dinner, Landon mentioned wanting to ally himself with the careers. To which Y/N and I instinctually shared a look of ridicule. I could feel my heart swell every time we interacted more like we used to. But an unreasonable amount of hurt rang in my chest as she essentially defended her dirtbag boyfriend.

I didn’t even bother to finish watching her interview, I just went straight upstairs to my room in the penthouse, bringing a bottle of vodka with me.

I don’t know how long I was laying there watching some stupid reality tv show when the door opened. In stepped Y/N in a sweater so long it looked like her legs were bare. Her face was cleaned of makeup, leaving a fresh look and I could see the exaggerated curls in her hair that remained from her updo. She just stood in the doorway, hugging herself, until I spoke. “Y/N,” I said a little too eagerly, having never expected to see her in my room again after I ended things. “Wh-what’s up?” I tried to ask casually.

She shrugged. “I’m here to drink,” was all she said.

Sitting further up, I held the bottle out to her, simultaneously gesturing to the bed to offer her a seat. She took both, perching herself at the foot of the bed, her legs crossed so she was looking at me. She took a deep swig from the bottle, cringing as she pulled it away. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her expression, she never got used to the taste and burn of alcohol. She noticed my expression and smiled slightly. “You know I hate the taste,” she explained, the slightest teasing tone in her voice.

“I remember,” I smiled fondly. “The only thing you liked was that flavored shit we got off that peacekeeper.”

She smiled, looking at the bottle in her hand. “Yeah, that was good. I got so drunk that night,” I got a genuine laugh out of that comment and it made my stomach do cartwheels.

“So what brings you here tonight?” I asked as she passed me the bottle.

“Well I’m being marched to my death tomorrow,” she laughed bitterly. Before I could try to console her she met my gaze. “How did you feel before you went in?”

I pondered for a second, trying to recall. “I was afraid,” I admitted. “I thought that there was no way in hell I’d survive but I wasn’t ready to die.” She hummed, nodding. I took another swig of vodka before passing it to her. “Why’d you lie about Rune during your interview?”

“You saw that?” sha asked. “I didn’t know you watched. The other mentors were there but you weren’t.” She noticed I wasn’t there? “I guess I just wanted them to think I had a reason to live,” she sighed. “I don’t really know what I was thinking but I figured bashing my-still-technically-boyfriend on national television wasn’t the best idea.”

“‘Still-technically-boyfriend?’” I questioned. “Y/N, he basically said that when, not if, when you were gone he’d be dating other girls. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. We never officially said that we were broken up so it feels wrong to bash him.”

“Fuck him, fuck his feelings!” I insisted. She laughed a little at my exaggerated outburst.

“I guess I just feel like I still have an obligation to him. Like I can’t move on before we have the conversation and I may never get to have the conversation,” she mused ruefully.

I scooted closer to her, placing my fingers under her chin to make her look at me. A move from when we were together. “Hey, what do you mean obligation?” I found pain in her eyes as I asked.

She hesitated before answering me. But as she did she averted her gaze as if in shame. “You said you still love me?” she asked meekly.

My heart broke at her doubt. “Of course I do,” I promised, bringing her gaze back up again. “I never stopped. Yeah, I was angry and I took it out on you and I never should have. But I love you.” She hesitated with her next words and I took the chance to kiss her. She immediately melted into my lips much to my relief. I pulled her closer until she was practically perched in my lap, the bottle of liquor on the nightstand long forgotten.

~

The automatic alarm controlled by the Capitol went off at 6 am. As I shut the damn thing up I rolled back over, resuming my place cuddled up to Y/N. Both my arms were wrapped around her waist, my head cuddled into the crook of her neck. She groaned at having been woken up, probably a little hungover. “Morning,” I murmured into her bare shoulder. She just groaned again. This time I figured it was a groan of remembering what day it was. “C’mon,” I said, pushing myself up to rest on my hands, “you need to eat breakfast.”

She rolled over reluctantly, finally meeting my face. “Can’t even think about eating.”

“I know but you’ll thank yourself for eating later,” I advised, getting out of bed and throwing some clothes on. She followed suit, heading to the door. As I tried to follow, she stopped me.

“Wait, come out in a couple minutes.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed of me?” I asked only mildly genuinely.

“No,” she dismissed genuinely, placing a hand on my arm. “How’s it gonna look to Landon when I come out of your bedroom with you? With terrible bed head?” she added jokingly. I just hummed in agreement, gesturing for her to continue.

A few moments later I joined both Y/N and Landon before they were both ushered off.

~

The entire games I was a mess. I was ashamed to admit that I couldn’t remember most of it, too wracked with worry. I only ever sobered up enough to watch the rundowns of what had happened that day, listening for Y/N’s name when they listed the deceased.

I thanked whatever cruel deity was out there that Y/N survived another day. And when they told me she won, I wanted to break down crying in relief.

By the time I was able to see her, she was still very injured. She laid in the hospital bed, asleep, and it took everything in me not to shake her awake for reassurance that she was still in fact alive. But instead I settled for grasping her warm hand and listening to the rhythmic beep of her heart through the monitor. They kicked me out periodically to work on healing her and a day later, when they let me back in the room, her eyes were fluttering open.

“Y/N,” I uttered. My voice had an unexpectedly broken sob but if she noticed, she didn’t care. She sat up as best as she could as I enveloped her in a hug as tightly as possible without hurting her. “You’re alive.”

“I’m okay,” she assured me. I could feel her fingers in my hair, her other hand rested against my shoulder as she hugged me as close as possible. With as much strength as her weakened, malnourished frame would allow.

I finally pulled away, my hand cupping her face as I admired her face. She had scrapes on her face and a bruised jaw but it was otherwise unmarred. “I love you,” I whispered before pressing my lips to hers.

~

I stood behind Y/N as she stepped off the train, smiling down at her as the crowd cheered. She just stood there on the platform for a moment, seemingly in a daze. I couldn’t be more thrilled in this moment. Of course we were both shattered, both fragments of who we used to be before the games. But we were holding each other together nonetheless. I was just so grateful she made it. The picture-perfect happiness was shattered by a shout.

“Y/N!” Rune’s voice broke through the crowd. My mood immediately dropped. Ever since that night we spent together I had forgotten about the twerp.

Y/N seemed to hardly register his presence as he jumped up on the platform. He was immediately kissing her, dipping her into what would be a picture-perfect photo if it weren’t for what happened and the fact that she was visibly uncomfortable. When they broke away, he pulled her back up to her feet before pulling her in closely once again to pose for the camera. All the while, Y/N looked visibly uncomfortable from even just the rear.

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to rip the douchebag away from her and inform him that she didn’t love him. But for the sake of not creating an incredibly public, embarrassing scenario for her, I kept my fists at my sides and my mouth shut.

Y/N managed to pull away from him, disappearing into the crowd with peacekeeper escorts. Rune tried to follow after her but I stepped up to him quickly. “Hey, don’t count on this five second of fame,” I informed him in an admittedly snide tone.

He looked deeply unhappy to see me. “She’ll be my wife soon enough. She declared her love for me on national television. You didn’t do that for her,” he remarked smugly.

I glanced around, noticing most of the crowd and cameras were gone. “She never said that she loved you,” I corrected. “Besides, why’d she spend the night in my bed after that interview then?”

A dark look crossed over his face. “You didn’t. She would never.”

I admit that it’s juvenile but pride swelled in my chest as I watched him become increasingly indignant. “She did. She told me she only said that because she felt obliged to and then we slept together.”

Rage filled his features. “You’re lying, Abernathy. I know you are. What’s your game? Are you hoping that if you tell enough people you slept together she’ll just come back to you out of shame? That’s pathetic.”

I took a step closer to him, getting in his face. “You’re the one refusing to accept the truth. That makes you the pathetic one.”

Rune just looked at me with disgust. “Whatever, I guess we’ll both just have to get the truth from her tonight.”

I shrugged with a smirk. “I guess we will.”

~

I hardly even caught a glimpse of Y/N the entire day as she was too busy being pulled in every direction. Her mom was all to eager to welcome her back into her home while the district officials were trying to get them moved into their new home in Victor’s Village next to mine. Then, of course, there were the people she didn’t really know who were all too eager to suck up to the newest victor, hoping to gain a little bit of fame and wealth. And then finally, there was Rune who was practically stitching himself to her side. I was debating whether or not I should go to her and rescue her from the overwhelming-ness of being a victor and Rune’s attempts. But I decided against it, not wanting to add to her stress and because I feared that if that little bitch opened his mouth I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from punching him.

It wasn’t until the welcome back party a few of her friends threw for her that I got a chance to speak with her.

As I approached her in the crowded room, I held out a shot glass. “Grapefruit vodka?” She smiled, taking it from me.

“Where did you get this?”

“I requested a bottle before we left the Capitol,” I smiled down at her. “Congratulations, Y/N, seriously. I know the party and the drinks are a meager consolation but you deserve it,” I professed, bringing her into a hug.

She hugged me tightly in return. “Thank you, Haymitch. For everything.”

“Of course,” I returned, pulling away from the hug but still keeping her in my arms. I reached a hand up to her face. “I love you,” I professed, kissing her. Which she returned. Until she was literally ripped from my grasp. As I was wrenched back into reality I saw Rune holding Y/N by her arm.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he yelled at her.

“Hey, back off,” I told him, moving to get his grip off of her arm. But he just stumbled back, tugging her along with him.

“No, what the hell is going on?” he demanded, looking at Y/N. “I thought you hated him.”

She shook her head. “Maybe for a bit I did but you don’t get to act all incredulous, Rune. After I got reaped you said you wouldn’t date anyone else ‘for a while,’” she mocked his words. “You couldn’t even wait until I was dead. I know about Selene Ducote. While I was fucking fighting for my life you were more concerned about getting your dick wet than seeing if I’d survive. You were depending on my death.”

Rune stood there, still gripping her arm, flabbergasted. “Yeah well, you slept with Haymitch.”

“Yeah, I did” she freely admitted, “and now I don’t feel guilty about it.”

Rage filled Rune’s face as he clenched his jaw. His free hand moved to grip her jaw, “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna end things with him,” he nodded to me with disgust, “and we’re gonna get married because I know that you are in love with me.” He sent a final glare to me and I noticed his grip tightening. “Am I clear, you fucking slut?”

Now it was my turn to be filled with rage. Before I knew what was happening, I was throwing a punch at Rune’s face. He crumpled and would have brought Y/N down with him if it weren’t for the fact that I caught her around the waist. By now, the rest of the crowd had noticed us and were unsure of who’s side to take. Because while everyone had known Rune and Y/N were dating, they had also been aware of our relationship and took notice of the way she was huddled against my chest.

Rune got up, intending to punch me in return but Y/N pulled out of my arms, stepping up to him. “Enough, Rune,” she chastised him. “We’re over. We’ve been over. You’re making this so much more pathetic for yourself.” Seeing as the guest of honor had clearly made her allegiance known, the other attendees began booing him out. I only caught a glimpse of him walking out in shame because Y/N was stood in front of me again. She cupped my jaw, reaching up to kiss me.

Later that night we were both sat in her kitchen as she attempted to heal my hand that had admittedly been a little banged up when I punched Rune. We were both a little drunk so I was grateful her mom was back at her old house.

I hissed as she dabbed rubbing alcohol against my split knuckles. “If you take a swig maybe it won’t hurt so much,” she giggled.

I chuckled, admiring her blissful expression. “You can’t drink this type of alcohol sweetheart,” I explained gently. She pouted softly but didn’t say anything else as she focused on my hand.

When she deemed my hand disinfected enough, she pulled away. “I need something to wrap it with. Maybe there’s some cloth?” she suggested. She went to the cabinets, rummaging through them. Most of them were empty but a few had supplies that came with the house.

As she was looking, I quickly began to miss her touch so I got up. I wrapped my arms around her from behind, trapping her between my body and the counter. I pressed my face into her shoulder and the crook of her neck, pressing kisses into her skin. “I don’t need a bandage,” I slurred in assurance. “I won the 50th Hunger Games.”

“And I won the 51st,” she countered.

“I beat 47 others,” I argued playfully as she spun in my arms so she was facing me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Shut up,” she laughed before kissing me.

Masterlist

[itsphoenix0724]

I don’t know if your still doing the bouquet event. But an orchid with Rhysand sounds wonderful!

Orchid (Rhysand x Reader)

Warnings: angst (don't hate me)

Word Count: 970

❀° Event Masterlist ❀°

A/N: Thank you for visiting my page, I'm so sorry this took me so long to write. Reader takes the place of Feyre in this fic so Nesta and Elain are her sisters. I have a very complicated relationship with Rhys idk why he's just super hard to write for me. Please don't kill me but this is angsty I'm so sorry. But I hope that you enjoy it <3

You haven’t been able to leave the nursery since you brought your baby home. He was perfect, the crown of inky black hair matching his father, with your eyes staring back up at you. You’re humming softly rocking the cradle back and forth as he sleeps, the knitted bat stuffed animal curled under his small arm. Your body tenses as your husband slips through the doorway, he utters your name and you glare at him without stopping your lullaby. 

“I will not discuss this in front of our son.” Your tone betrays nothing of your feelings, refusing to let anything show in his presence. Rhys’s face pales a shade but he nods and gestures with his head to the door. After giving a subtle nod you leave the sleeping prince in his cradle, safely guarded by moonlit dreams, and follow Rhys out of the room. You want for nothing more than a glass of liquor, preferably the strongest Velaris has to offer, as you stand across the study from your husband.  Alas, you are nursing so your desire remains a boiling headache sprouting in your temples. 

“Darling-” Rhysand starts, but you raise one hand and he stops speaking, snapping his jaw shut. You take a moment to look at Rhysand fully. His raven hair, so normally well-kempt, is run through and the purple half-moons under his eyes cast grotesque shadows on unnaturally pale skin. You’ve barely spoken to him in days since Nyx was born. 

In fact, you’ve refused to see any of the inner circle at all seldom your sisters.

“I am going to talk now. You are going to do nothing but listen.” You will steel into your spine, wishing your power to grant you the strength for this. Rhys nods once sitting in his chair and wringing his hands together in his lap. “You made me your equal, and yet you betray me. You force the hands of our truest friends to betray me.” You have felt a tidal wave of emotions since you found out what your mate kept from you. 

Anger, betrayal, disgust, but all you feel now is sadness. 

Sadness at the reaper that seems to have been following you through your first week as a mother, angry at your sister for snatching your family back from the cold iron of his grip. 

“You have proven that the members of this court will obey your wishes without any regard for me as your equal. Not only that, the worst thing about this is you were going to let us die in ignorance, after promising that I would always have a choice with you. That is what truly breaks me, Mate.” You watch your husband fall apart before you. The High Lord of Night crumbling and dissolving like salt in water. You want to go to him, you want to ease his sobs and tell him that everything is alright. 

But everything is very much not all right. 

“Why?” is the only thing you can manage to croak out, your tears finally cracking the damn that you’ve built to keep them at bay. Rhys stands, crossing the room and three wide steps, and wraps you in his arms. You try to fight it but you let yourself collapse into the warm embrace he offers. You wail, cursing the world and your mate, beating your hands against his chest half-heartedly. He cups your cheek a thumb running to wipe the silver from your eyes, but your hands remain limp at your sides.

“I have no excuse,” he swears sinking to his knees you follow him melting without the force of his weight to keep you upright. “I tried to do my best by Madja’s instructions. I did not want to rip the joy from you, but I had no right. I’m so sorry my love, so so sorry. I wanted to bring you the news with a solution.”  You still choke around your sobs, the solid iron you’ve built around the bond cracking just a fraction, letting some of its golden light shine back through. 

“You also had no right to send Nesta on that hike. Her intentions may have been egregious, but she is the only one who was honest with me.” Rhys’s lips press into a thin line, the topic of your sister always a touchy one, but he nods. 

“I’ll do my best to be better for you.” Rhys gulps around the tightening in his throat. You don’t know how long you spend crying on the floor of his study, Rhys soothing your hair before something finally lightens in your heart and you let go. 

Forgiveness. 

You realize after one heartbeat, then two, that this feeling is forgiveness. You almost collapse under the weight of it. You meet Rhysand’s eyes and let the walls of the bond fall and you feel the palpable relief, see it in his eyes. 

“You have to be better.” You mutter, and Rhys nods resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll do better for you. For Nyx. For our family.” He swears and you feel the burn of another promise singeing into your skin, the stretching wings of a dove appearing on your sternum, you can see the twin appearing on Rhys’s own skin. Finally, you press your lips to his and he melts hauling you onto his lap. His kiss is bruising, the bond between you both singing happily in your chests. This healing road will be long, and the trust you’ve built with your family now broken and fragile. But the road is visible, the fog of pain gone from the path you must take. You will forgive, no matter how hard it will be. Rhys’s hands are shaking as he presses a kiss to your forehead. After all of the pain.

Forgiveness is a welcome feeling.

[skunkox]

Let's Talk About Turning

Let's go in order of Listeners. If any of the recounted information is incorrect, please let me know.

Bright Eyes:

From retelling from old fans, Bright had literally no say (possibly idea of) the turning till after it was at least in progress.

Lovely:

They were in a life or death situation. They chose to continue living at the cost of losing the power they worked so hard to learn, along with the normalcy of everyday life.

They seem to be taking everything in stride, but I'm worried for them. They seems to be an optimist except for when it comes to their image to others. (That's a post for another day)

Darlin':

Has been given the option to be turned. They still have the option to. But there's 3 things pointing in the no direction. In chatacter wise at least.

Sam still intends to stay with them regardless of how they age. They finally feel their place in the pack. Why lose the original link that made them a part of that family? Last and finally, Sam won't be living an eternal life, regardless if Darlin' wanted to or not with him.

I'm personally a believer that Darlin' wants to keep a mortal life for Sam's sake. Giving him a natural life time line. I hate to think about it, but I think we all see how that's all ending. At least we know that if that's the route Erik has chosen, when shit really his the fan with the meridian, these two are safe. Right? Right.

Treasure:

Let me start off by saying we don't know much about them because their story is quite literally two videos deep so far. What we've seen so far is that Treasure appears to have a dependency or rather a need to do for others. Regardless if they might feel uncomfortable or just not enjoy the sway of their company. Old company we should say.

I think we've mostly come to the agreement that if Treasure hadn't wanted to go off with Porter, they wouldn't have. They were there for their at the time, friends. The night at the club very well could have been the last straw.

All this to say I believe Treasure will be getting turned. Treasure is at the beginning of a break out from their own shell and making choices that benefits themself. There is some level of care and joy between Porter and Treasure. If that grows, wouldn't they want to stay together? If the first person to truly make Treasure happy is gonna live forever, wouldn't they want to too?

There are other ideas of Treasure being a Stealth cause the bitch didn't seem to freak out over Porter being s blood sucking play boy. Erik seems to be leaving empowered reveals of his characters to listener characters to the listeners, for the most part.

There's also the chance Erik could kill off Porter's character. There's a rule of 3 for character stories, it seems. We lost Fred from a listener standpoint and gained Porter. We have 3 wolves. 3 vampires, and 3 d(a)emons that have consistant romantic undertones at the very least. Vega is dead, but he can be brought back. I don't think he's killing Porter off but it's not impossible?

We're at the calm before the storm boys. I swear in the next 4 months, shits gonna get real and all he'll will break loose. Or Aria? Through the meridian. I'm rambling.

But yeah. Totally think that Treasure will get that choice and will be turned.

Again, if my information is wrong, let a bitch know. We gonna suffer through this together.

[angelbroad]

"No, I'm not okay"

Type: Fanfiction

Fandom: One Piece

Characters: Sir Crocodile, Monkey D. Luffy, Trafalgar D. Water Law

Marineford had been a disaster. So many pirates brought together, woven like a tightly knit cloth by their hate for the Goverment and to save Portgas D. Ace. All of the fighting had ultimately been for nothing, as the young man perished at the hands of Admiral Akainu. It was all to save Luffy, a boy he held close like he was his own flesh and blood. And even that wasn't enough to leave Luffy completely free from scars.

Sir Crocodile had been suspicious of the Heart pirates, but he would take any help he could get for Luffy. Now he definately could not tell the kid who his mother had once been, no need to add more emotional damage to his crushed heart. Just where was this lack of psychosis when Crocodile was aware Luffy was alive in his arms?

"You've been waiting out here for a while.", Law commented.

Crocodile didn't even raise his head to give the man his attention, merely moving his eyes to catch him in the corner of his vision. He had found himself sitting on a spare bench outside of the small room Luffy was left to recover in, unsure still if he should go inside or not. Nevertheless, he offered Law no response as he continued to stare at the door like it owed him berri.

Law must have taken this as a sign he was not going to talk, because he left after a small shrug. Crocodile told himself he'd only stay long enough to make sure Luffy was alright, and then he'd go on his own once again. 

Some time had passed since Law had left him alone, everyone else feeling too intimidated to go anywhere near him, but eventually he heard a barely there sound. Something like mattress springs creaking. He quickly formed into sand and went under the door, materializing on the other side just as Luffy was waking up. His eye not covered by bandages was still closed, brow furrowed as he tried moving his arm up. Crocodile used his non-hooked hand to gently put it back down.

"Ng...Ace..?", Luffy whispered, and it made Crocodile wince. The kid should be having people he cares about next to him, not Crocodile. He didn't even...

"...Luffy.", he eventually said, and it made Luffy crack his eye open. It lacked the joy and determination that was there before, it now looked dark and hopeless. "...Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not okay.", Luffy weakly said.

How could he be? He had lost the only brother he had left. Luffy never knew either of his parents, Ace and Sabo were his only family for the longest time, and now he had nothing. Garp didn't count, if he wanted to raise him he'd have done it properly. Luffy looked like he was ready to cry, his vision already becoming blurry. He didn't understand why Crocodile's eyes seemed to widen ever so slightly as he reached for a handkerchief to wipe away Luffy's slowly trickling tears.

"There, there.", he murmured. 

He thought Luffy couldn't hear it, but he did. Was this really the same man that had tried to take over a country and tried to kill him several times? Luffy tried to sit up, but he gave up halfway.

"Do you need help?", Crocodile asked.

"No...I'll just stay here.", Luffy said, looking at the ceiling as he sniffed. "I couldn't..." He couldn't save Ace, the one thing he wanted to do in Marineford.

Crocodile's arm hovered a little over next to Luffy's head for a long moment, before the man took it back while looking away. Luffy couldn't understand what that face told, maybe embarassment? For Crocodile, it was definately shame. He was not a good mother, and he found it hard to believe he'd ever be a decent father.

"..Trafalgar said you'd make a recovery.", Crocodile said, "Though he didn't say for how long you'll be in recovery."

"Are...are the others safe?"

"Your crew? Every last one."

Crocodile could see an invisible weight leaving Luffy's body.

"Where.."

"We're in a submarine. Hancock has offered to take you to the Amazon Lily for your safety.", Crocodile said, "As for the rest of your crew, they'll be in several places around the world."

"But they'll be safe, right?"

Crocodile's downward mouth nearly deepened at the desperation in the boy's voice. It was like the Strawhat pirates were all he had left. He finally exhaled a breath he didn't realise he was holding and ran his ring filled hand through Luffy's hair, catching him by surprise.

"You should rest, Mugiwara.", Crocodile said, "We still have some way to go."

Luffy blinked, but slowly closed his eye as asked.

The next time Law would enter the room, he'd find Sir Crocodile asleep in the chair next to a sleeping Luffy. He thought about questioning the man when he was awake, but he chose against it. He was a Warlord at some point and that meant he had to tread carefully. He left shortly after Luffy came back from paying his respects to Whitebeard and Ace, never telling anyone to where he was off to exactly. Maybe it was better that way. 

[hisaribi]

<333 OMG THANK U FOR THE LONG RESPONSE ABT OMEGA JAY + EVEN MORE OF YOUR BETA DICK HCS 😭💞 they're really lovely, I really enjoy how you look at omegas? The protectiveness and how they'd be bigger moreso focusing on protection and stuff ! Cool ! Worldbuilding ! I love how you get these different types of packs (like Damian's!) etc etc

Reverse Robin's Dick is absolutely precious, I love him infinitely. His and Damian's dynamics are <333 just lovely since Damian has mellowed down and softened quite a bit :') <33

SORRY 😭 just being attacked by brain worms, thank u sm for the lengthy answer !!! Small question because rev robins is just so fun and I got like, extra WOAH-ED by it, are you killing off Tim here (Making him RH or some other Crime lord, much colder than what Jason is) or is it still Jason (Eternally doomed god help him 😭)

And ! It just made me imagine big brother Jason ! Even more protective of pups and betas, Dick is both ;-; (is he going to get smothered?)

AGAIN!!! THANK U !!! ur so cool <3

I'm really glad it brought you joy! No you're cool!

the context: beta dick grayson post, omega Jason ask

I love reverse robins as a way to explore dynamics that can still be the same even if everything is so so different, so yeah, and in omegaverse with Dick being the only beta in a pack that isn't used to it and yet somehow holding them together is just great!

but I have sort of difficult relationship with rr, because I have preferences about them, that I don't see a lot lol

one of them Batgirls (minus Steph, or no, idk), being the canon-age, so no, babs isn't youngest in this, she's older than Damian and they have a love-hate relationships that are more sibling-like, Cass is the third eldest, Duke is forth and so on, Staph probably still between Jason and Tim, but idk. Harper also has her canon age, because I said so, anyway, back to all that

another is that Tim joined because of Dick and his obsession with him caused by trauma and all that. So in Reverse Robins he won't be joining the family before Dick. I sorta like him joining during the battle for cowl, the same goes for Duke, actually, but for different reasons. So Tim would be over 17 (lol), and he steps in because Dick being Dick would try and hold a leash on a bunch of elder batfam people who try to become Batmans but they all suck so ye, Tim steps in to help Dick. I have this post about reverse robins where ages are reversed, but not the order of adoption, so something like that would still be good for our reverse robins omegaverse thingie we talk about. so again, we can go around that with B adopting Tim before any of that, but that's a different can of worms. Also I sorta prefer Tim being more on the Oracle side

Now for died and was revived and it was a shitshow (affectionate), I think it should be either Jason or Steph, but also Steph's story as Spoiler compiles me, so no, Tim won't be the Robin who died (they are also Shadows, not Robins, and nobody knew who really lived through all the vigilante thing, if anything and we make Duke join the first, him and Damian constantly changing does create a nice creature vibe, anyway), for me it's still Jason

I also do love the possible body dysphoria Jason would get, because he died on a pretty short side right before Dick appeared in the family (I put their age difference) more like what they have in pre-n52 canon, because I really dislike what they did with ages here, anyway, at least 7 years difference, so Jason died at 15, Dick got to the family right after that and B was grieving and gosh what a shitshow that would be, so back to Jason, he's suddenly really-tall, really buff, and clearly omega, and he comes back in like two years max with his whole Red Hood shtick, and he's like I've been replaced, and looks at a kid who's clearly ready to throw hands with him, who also went like I'm not Shadow, I'm Robin, screw you

And Jason, who was used that nobody, not even Damian, got to the field before they were fourteen, that was a strict rule on B's side (actually Damian was a menace since day one he appeared at Bruce's door at the age of ten, but that's not what you tell your youngest), and yet here's kid who probably didn't live even a decade (I hc that before 13 he was like on a shorter side, but then between 13 and 15 he almost reached his adult height, so he definitely looked younger), and Jason's like... Bruce, at first I wanted to make you suffer, but now I'm going to kill you, how DARE you endanger the kid, what dO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T ADOPTED AND YOU KEEP HIS AS A WARD?! so ye, tiny Dick being the wrench that broke all Jason's dramatic plans

Dick's also has a 1000 quota stare, because he went through grieving B, fought teeth and nails to have his own vigilante persona, and he's used to wrangle Bruce and Jean-Paul, as well as Duke and Damian, and Batgirls, the kid is unfazed by the last Shadow coming back to life and his bag of severed heads is like huh, anyway, moving on

also yes, Dick is going to be smoothered by everyone, he would like it, as long as aside from that time he's treated as equal and stop trying to carry me away I had everything under control. also like really not getting the whole pack stuff, but mimicking it well enough that there's a bet who he would grow up to be, and Damian and Cass look at each other like nope, not telling them

also idk where to put it, so out of mentioned here Tim is alpha, Duke is omega, Steph is omega (and is the fourth tallest of the batfam), Babs is alpha, Cass is alpha, Harper idk, she has alpha vibes, I don't remember actually if I contradict myself, so whatever

so ye, thank you for the ask and have a nice day!

[lilhoeforevanpeters]

Haunted

"Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around"

Stanley Uris x GN!reader angst

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You put your car in park once you reached your destination. Your tragic destination. You grab the bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat beside you. Sitting in your car for a few minutes, you eventually get out, the cool Autumn air hitting you. You shrugged his jacket on you further, stuffing your hands in the pockets. It doesn't smell like him anymore.

There were many other grieving families there, grieving husbands and wives like you, however, it was eerily quiet, no one dared to even mutter a word. You locked the car, walking through the main gates of the dreaded place.

You stared at the gravel path as you walked mindlessly, not needing to look up for directions as you've been to the location so many times. Clutching the fresh flower bouquet in your hands as your heeled boots make a click-clack sound against the pavement.

You took a right, then a left, until you were finally in the shaded area where he was. Your heart felt heavy, as it had for weeks. You took a shaky breath before looking up.

You sat down on the slightly damp grass, not caring if you got your clothing wet. You looked at the headstone in front of you. The headstone of your husband. Your now dead husband.

You set the flowers in your hand down next to the gravestone. "Stanley Uris, July 13 1976- September 5 2016". You looked at it briefly before looking down at the grass you were sitting on. The cold air blew through your hair that was up in a low ponytail, and you tugged on the jacket that was one your husband's further onto your body.

Pressing your lips together in a tight line, eyes watering as you looked up for a split second before letting out a breath, tears falling down your cheeks and onto the ground in front of you. Your gaze falls back down to the headstone. "Loving son and husband".

"Asshole."

One simple word. A word that held a lot of anger and was typically for people who you hate- but you didn't hate Stanley. You couldn't. He is was your husband. But despite still feeling the love you had for him, you couldn't help but feel angry. Not angry- livid. Livid at the world, at the entire town of Derry, at that fucking clown that terrorized him, at yourself for not going up to check on him sooner, at your husband for killing himself.

It wasn't fair. The entire situation wasn't- it wasn't fair that you were angry at him, or that you were now alone, desperately holding onto the small pieces of him that you had left. It wasn't fair how your home that once brought joy and comfort brings nothing but despair and pain. It wasn't fair that the stupid clown scared him so much and he felt like he had no other choice.

You felt empty, like everything had been stripped from you. It had been. You lost the one person you thought you'd never lose. Your best friend. Your husband. Your Stan.

"You left me. And I hate you for it. I hate you. I hate you for leaving me alone, I hate you for not thinking there was a better option. I hate that I still love you. I hate that I expect you to be there at the table every night after I come home from work, doing your stupid puzzles."

Tears streamed down your face as you spoke bitterly to the tomb. Using the sleeve of his jacket, you wiped away the tears, but they were only replaced with new ones. You hated it all. How your bed felt cold and empty. Or how you still expected him to be there. Memories of what once was haunted your house. They haunted your mind.

You glared at the headstone, as if expecting Stan to respond, to tell he was sorry, and he'd be coming home soon. But you knew that wouldn't happen. It was impossible. His body was in the ground, he'd been gone for three months. You couldn't bring him back; no one could.

You wanted your husband back. Your best friend. He was your everything, and now he was gone. You looked away from the dumb piece of stone that really didn't mean anything, yet meant so much to you.

If Stan had died in a car accident, or something else, maybe you'd be able to cope better. It would be hard- maybe as hard as it was now for you, but you couldn't help but feel that this storyline hurt more. It hurt so much, and the impact it left on you was huge.

That night would stick forever in your mind. How could it not? He was so obviously upset over the phone call- but you brushed it off. And you would blame yourself for that for eternity. You didn't think anything of him taking the bath until he wasn't answering and he'd been in there for half an hour. You felt sick when thinking of it. You had knocked on the door, asking if he was okay, but when there was no answer you went in.

Your husband laid dead in the bathtub, his wrists slit, the word "It" written in his own blood. You let out a scream and rushed over to him, pulling him out of the water and holding him in your arms as you cried and called 911. He was declared dead on the scene.

His lifeless face was burned into your mind. When you close your eyes. When you try to sleep. Everywhere you look- his lifeless face is there. That scene is there. His bloody wrists. How you tried to save him, knowing it was hopeless. The door to the now clean bathroom has been closed from the moment he was declared dead. You couldn't go in there. Hell, you could barely go in your bedroom where you two slept every night.

With tears rolling down your cheeks, you close your eyes and pressed a hand to the ground, grasping at the grass lightly where you knew his body was- six feet under, in a casket. You felt pathetic and broken, but you couldn't help it, you had lost your everything. You just wanted him to hold you in his arms and tell you everything would be okay like he normally would've. However, the only thing you got was the cold wind hitting your back, no warm embrace from your now dead husband.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm so, so sorry. I should've gone up sooner. I should've pressed you harder to talk about it. I shouldn't have let you go upstairs."

You blamed the world and that fucking clown, but mostly, you blamed yourself. Deep down you knew you shouldn't. Deep down you knew he wouldn't want you that.

"I love you. And I always will."

You whispered the words to the tombstone, knowing it was foolish to believe he could hear you, but if he did, if there was a chance he could hear what you were saying, then you wanted him to know that you loved him.

So you sat at the grave for three hours, as you did every weekend since the day he was buried. You didn't speak anymore, instead pressing your forehead against the headstone and closing your eyes, his jacket wrapped around your body. This was the closest you had to him now. And you would take whatever you could.

When the air grew colder and crisper, hours later, you got back into the car, sighing lightly and drove home in silence. Driving up to your house, you parked in the driveway as the feeling of heartache crept over you once more.

You walked into the house you once lived in with your beloved husband, memories of all the times you spent with him there still living rent-free in your mind. Sliding your shoes off, you crept up the stairs, avoiding the pictures on the wall on the way up of him smiling at the camera while holding you, or him as a kid. The bathroom door was still closed, and it would remain that way for possibly many more months, and you averted your eyes- even looking at the door made you sick to your stomach. You walked into the bedroom you once slept in peacefully with Stan, not bothering to take your jeans or his jacket off as you crawled into the bed and laid there underneath the comforter, closing your eyes, but not sleeping, as you did every weekend since he died.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you can't help the hot tears that trail down your face as the feeling of hopelessness crept up on you, swallowing you whole like a black hole.

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[sturnonfilm]

୨୧ ─── AVOIDANT

             O1  ֢ constellations

📂 𝜗𝜚 MASTERLIST | NEXT CHAPTER    w.c 8OO

it’s bizarre to think how quickly things change and how fast time moves. one day you’re born without a single memory to be retained, crying like second nature for the things you can’t yet vocally demand. then you reach the ages of firsts; first steps, first day of school, first friends. you develop all the interests that make you… you, and suddenly the world doesn’t seem so vast and foreign anymore. you become a person that is an individual, surrounded by people who play the same game of life that you do. some of these people you love, some you hate– even if hate is a strong word, no person is exempt from feeling these strong emotions.

chris was no exception. he had his many fair shares of passionate sentiments. there were many things that brought chris a sense of pure joy, for example. like the memories of his nineteenth birthday in palm springs, surrounded by his brothers and closest friends. till this day, he can’t believe nate flew all the way to california to celebrate with them. even though nothing particularly insane happened, it made his heart swell to rekindle those days spent sitting around and doing fun things with the people he loved most, minus his parents and justin. if it was possible to squeeze his eyes shut and wish them there without the hassle of plane flights and planning, he would have done it without a hint of hesitance.

despite chris having feelings of tender happiness and endearment, he also had those of repugnance. memories and things that spiked the taste of abhor on his tongue. a prominent example of this would be romance and relationships, and it was absolutely no secret that these things made him tense up with even a thought. he couldn’t take it– no, he couldn’t stand it. seeing people get all gushy and physically affectionate with one another was something that made him want to take out his own eyes, or bury himself under a blanket and never see the light again. he couldn’t really tell you why it made him feel the way it did, it just… did.

even romance movies made him feel a sense of discomfort. he didn’t get it- being that vulnerable with someone, sharing all your darkest secrets and your most delicate fears. the dedication of planning out tedious dates and worrying whether or not your partner is happy with you and the things you do, the absolute horror of messing up and making the person who’s meant to be the love of your life upset— it made him feel nauseous. afraid. embracing this concept was a difficult task for chris, this was blatant. so much so that a typical fan could tell you this fleeting fact.

he could never picture himself being put in a sappy scenario like that, and he always told his brothers that if he somehow ended up riding a scooter together with a girl with hearts in his eyes, kill him.

he was perfectly content with his life and where he was. it was a new year and he was looking forward to the unknown opportunities that would come his way. truly, what else could he desire right now? he was moving between both LA and boston, meeting new people while simultaneously balancing his cherished hometown friendships. not only that, but he got to spend time with his family whenever he and his brothers felt the desire to do so, but when they needed their own time away it was comfortably waiting for them in the space of a modernized house, slowly becoming the ghost of a home similar to that of the one in mass.

their youtube channel was steady growing and more milestones were to be hit in the foreseeable future, he got to express his thoughts and be vocal on their podcast while also getting insight on his brothers own opinions and speculations, and he just sold out his recent clothing line drop. although he wouldn’t change a thing, he wasn’t opposed to what the future had in store for him.

he would be twenty-one this year alongside his mirrored blood. even so, he was just a boy with dreams and goals, accomplishments flourishing every passing day. he yearned for many things still, but he knew within time all his wishes would be granted with fervid efforts. he was a star in the sky, admired from afar by many and tied into a constellation with others who have made an impact in his life; matt, nick, madi, nate, laura, his parents, justin, and more names than he could count on his fingers twice over.

but this constellation was ever-changing, destined for growth and new becomings. even within the last year alone, there’s been new stars in the sky for what felt like every other week. still, a new one would mark it’s place in the sea of night, burning bright, painfully hard to displace.

but who didn’t love a sky full of stars anyway.

[ 💌 ] BLYTHE’S NOTES !

── a slow start to a long story ! sorry that this isn’t the most fulfilling chapter and that we haven’t touched base on you, the reader, just yet - but we will very soon ! i wanted to start steady with some insight as to how i interpret chris and how he feels about where he is in life right now before diving into anything else. hopefully i’ll get to start working on chapter two at the beginning of next week, and i promise it’ll be much longer and more detailed given my schedule will be freed up a bit. enough rambling though, tysm for interest in avoidant if you’re reading this and feel free to send any asks in in regards to the story and or it’s taglist, which is currently open. xx.

[astharoshebarvon]

Aemond/Lucerys ABO AU

Where everyone dies except for Aemond & Luke and his uncle and half-sister’s Daemon and Rhaenyra’s youngest children, baby Aegon and Viserys

Aemond is too tired and grief ridden and does his best ensure his youngest nephews/cousins safety and becomes king regent for them.

A lot of people are happy with him on throne since no one liked Aemond’s brother and were pleased he was dead but equal amounts feared the alpha king because alphas are unpredictable(reason why there had been only two alphas on the throne till then) and Aemond was not a drunkard or easy to mould.

Some foolish councilman brought up the topic of heirs and he was found maimed, his arm gone the next day. No one dared say anything again.

Whispers were abound as people across the realm spoke in hushed voices of how their alpha king had murdered his true omega mate, Lucerys Velaryon and thus had almost brought the dragon house to extinction. That he still loved the boy he himself killed in his anger.

Two years after the war Aemond learns something, he takes Vhagar to the remote island where rumors were heard of a boy falling from the sky two years ago.

When Aemond sees his lovely mate, looking at him in confusion and the slightest bit of fear he lets tears slip from his eye for the first time ever. His tears had dried after he’d thought he had killed his omega. After that, it was just an endless cycle of death.

When Aemond brings Luke back, his youngest brothers cry tears of joy at seeing their older brother back. Luke does not remember anything, his memories only consist of the kind old couple who took care of him, taught him how to fish and kept him safe.

Aemond again has to maim another councilman who suggests there might be an heir now for the throne since Aemond’s omega is alive and well.

Luke keeps his distance from Aemond after learning about the death of his mother, father, brothers and everyone. His whole family gone except for the young ones. He feels longing and love when he looks at his alpha mate but that feeling diminishes when he recalls hearing of the death of his family.

Luke does marry Aemond since he fears Aemond might try to hurt his little brothers if he doesn’t. Aemond laugh and laughs until tears slide down his cheek when he hears Luke reassure his brothers that he’ll keep them safe no matter what. He doesn’t understand why Luke thinks he would hurt them now when he didn’t before.

Aemond and Luke remain virgin even on their wedding night. The alpha king just bites his omega’s nape before turning around and falling asleep, leaving Luke wondering if Aemond really is as horrible as the stories he’d heard. He could have taken him if he really wished but he didn’t.

Eventually Luke again falls in love with him again. He tries his best to not but his emotions get the better of him and when his heat hits him after nine moons of their marriage, he urges Aemond to take him to bed.

Aemond and Luke spend weeks in their chambers with only prince consort’s young brothers allowed entry in the rooms.

When Luke is in third moon of his pregnancy his memories return. He hits Aemond, hurls obscenities at him but in the end tearfully confesses he still loves him.

“You will never hurt my only family left! You must promise me that Aemond! My baby brothers will remain safe, you will not take their right from them like your family took from my mother.”

Aemond smiles wistfully as he caresses his beautiful boy’s cheek, “I won’t. Some may argue though you are the second son, so you and I should rule together with our children being our heirs.”

Luke laughs incredulously, “they hated a lady on the throne, they dislike an alpha on it, you think they’ll want an omega on it?” His gaze turns fierce, “I don’t care what they want. I don’t care for the iron throne. I don’t want it anywhere near me. It was my mother’s, then Jace’s. Neither of them are alive. It will be my baby brothers.”

“Then your will be carried out, my darling.” He gently brings Luke closer and brushes his forehead with his, making Luke release pleased pheromones. “Whatever your heart desires, I’ll give you, Luke.”

The alpha king, Aemond Targaryen and prince consort omega Lucerys Velaryon Targaryen welcome twin boys after six moons, both having Targaryen hair and eyes of their alpha father with the beautiful features of their omega bearer.

Aemond once again decrees Aegon III or Viserys II will inherit the throne once they come of age at 18.

He names his sons, Daelon and Rhaegal Targaryen as future heirs of Dragonstone and Driftmark.

“He was kind to us, we didn’t think, you know — he would be.” Viserys says, smiling softly at the infants, Daelon and Rhaegal. “It’s odd he named them after — ” he looks at Luke who smiles at him as he leans down and lays a soft kiss on his head, making his brother smile happily. “Our parents?”

“Yes.”

Luke ruffles Aegon’s hair who was looking at baby Rhaegal with curiosity, “Aemond did bad things,” he smiles sadly as his brothers look solemnly at him, shifting closer so they were leaning on their older brother.

Luke wrapped his arms around them, squeezing them in reassurance, “but he has the courage to admit his wrong doings. There was death on both sides. Aemond knows none of it would have happened if he hadn’t chased me across the skies.” He looks at his children and gently caresses his newborns heads, “ more importantly he loves me like I love him.” His voice is soft as he speaks again, “he won’t hurt me again.”

“My brothers find it hard to believe you let me name our children after my parents.”

Aemond hums as he drops a kiss on his head, “did you tell them the next one will be named Laenor if it’s a boy and Aemma if it’s a girl?” He glances at Luke’s flat abdomen knowing it will be a while before he shows.

Luke shakes his head, “no. but I believe that would make them just as happy.” He lifts his head to meet Aemond’s gaze, “do you regret your part in my mother and father’s death, my brothers? Your family?”

Aemond nods slowly, trying to ignore the pain that goes through him, “I do.”

Heavens, the way Luke had yelled at him when he’d learned how they had taken out his father, by trickery and cowardice. He didn’t want to hear that tone ever again. 

“I am surprised you didn’t steal his sword after he was dead and take it for yourself!” Luke yelled. He should stop, this much anger couldn’t be good for his babies but he couldn’t. His alpha father was a man of few words but he had cared a lot for all of them. Daemon loved them as much as their father Laenor did.

Aemond clenched his hand into a fist, “I did not touch your dear father’s sword. It was placed next to the skull of Balerion as a prized artifact.”

“Really? That doesn’t sound like you, alpha of mine.”

Aemond snapped. He glared at his mate, knowing he shouldn’t say the next words but he couldn’t stop. Luke was the only one who could make him feel like a hopeless fool in love in one moment and a deranged fiend in next.

“You would have loved it if I had died by his hands instead, wouldn’t you my omega!” Aemond spat, not caring how Luke flinched and backed away from him as much as the bed could allow. “You would have been happy if your mother’s beloved husband Daemon, your alpha father would have driven that sword of his through my body. Would that have satisfied you my sweet Luke if I was dead?!”

Next second Aemond cursed himself again as Luke burst into tears, his slender frame shaking as sobs wracked through his body. He tried to touch his husband but Luke hunched in on himself, clearly conveying he did not want his touch.

“How—how— could you—” Luke sobbed. “How? I never — never wished you—” He glared at his alpha husband, his eyes shining with tears, “you almost killed me, your nephew, and your omega mate! Your actions drove my mother and father to grief, my brothers to their demise! You led your whole family to death. Don’t you dare say I wanted you dead ever! You know exactly the circumstances which led to the loss of your eye.”

Aemond looked away as familiar pain washed over him as Luke said what he’d long accepted.

Luke was right, everything he’d said was true. Maybe that’s why it hurt to hear him. He was the reason rest of their family was dead. Luke was right about Daemon too. That was the only way they could ever get rid of the Rogue Prince.

If they hadn’t, Aemond was sure the alpha father of Rhaenyra’s children would have relished in ending his life. Daemon had literally burned the whole storm’s end save for one small child since he saw them as accomplice in his son’s demise. He had ended boros’ line, the child he spared was his cousin’s. boros and his daughters had been fed to Caraxes, that’s how livid he’d been.

Luke goes back to rest his head on Aemond’s chest, making the alpha come out of his thoughts, “then you will be forgiven.”

Aemond laughed bitterly, “they are all gone, Lucerys. The only one’s forgiveness I seek is yours.”

Luke feels his heart clench in pain, “It will hurt, you know that. it will always hurt.” He doesn’t say anything for a while. When he does speak again, his voice is soft and broken, “you have it. We would have never had Daelon and Rhaegal if I didn’t forgive you.”

Aemond tries to hold back tears that threaten to fall from his eye but fails. His anguish only becomes greater when Luke leans in and presses a soft kiss to his scarred cheek, his sapphire in his eye socket, his forehead. “I love you, and I’ll always stay with you, my alpha.”

[now-you-sound-like-a-jedi]

Chapter Four is up!

Satine tries to explain Bo-Katan to Obi-Wan, and the pair arrive on Coruscant, where they are greeted by Anakin (who is not impressed to see that they haven't brought his ship back).

AO3 LINK

Excerpt:

‘Satine?’

‘Hmm?’

Satine looked up to find Obi-Wan staring at her, his brow furrowed with concern.

'Is everything alright?’ he asked. ‘You were staring off into space.’

‘I’m fine,’ said Satine. ‘I’m just… thinking about my sister.’

‘I’m sure she’ll be alright,’ Obi-Wan offered. ‘Frankly, I would be more concerned for Maul’s forces and whichever fool it was that gave away our location.’

Satine flashed him a brief half-smile, grateful for his attempt at reassurance even though that hadn’t been exactly what she’d meant. She knew her sister would be fine: Bo-Katan was a lot of things, not all of them good, but at least she was a survivor, and it would take more than the handful of soldiers under Maul’s command to bring her down. That wasn’t what was weighing so heavily on Satine’s mind.

Rather, it was that, even after all this time, Satine still wasn’t sure what had happened to the little girl whose hair she used to braid and whose smile could’ve lit up the entire system. Somehow, that little girl had become a woman no soldier could kill, a woman who could look death in the eyes and walk away with a smirk on her face. A woman who had caused more harm and done more damage than Satine would likely ever know about. And yet, a woman who had twice risked her life to save a sister she let the galaxy believe she hated. None of those things fit together, and Satine found herself torn between her desire to understand the missing pieces and her fear that knowing the whole picture would only be worse.

‘You know,’ she said out loud, ‘She and I actually used to be really close when we were children. I know it sounds difficult to believe now, but we were.’ Those memories hurt now, the long-forgotten joy made bittersweet by regret. ‘She was… bright, and thoughtful, and funny. She cared so much about everything.’

Obi-Wan was looking at her the same way he always had whenever she spoke about her family or her life before the civil war: with a combination of curiosity, empathy, and more than a little surprise that she was being so open at all. ‘What happened?’ he asked simply.

[mothwithapencil]

your street fighter art has brought me much joy...thank you ^_^ i wasnt too familiar w vega b4hand but. he's got me in his claws now... i'm seeing the vision....i would like to hear more of what u've concocted for his siblinghood w cammy if you would like 2 share! what the dynamic could be like when cammy was still a doll under shadaloo, vs when she started fighting bison, etcetc. the silly the serious how things change over the years >:0 apologies if this is a tall order

(Also. mike tyson cartoon balrog knocked me back. What are the odds that he, too, has a van with "BI GUY" on the license plate)

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE A VEGAHEAD NOW.... He got me in his claws as soon as I saw him... The vega army grows stronger...

His siblinghood with Cammy (and also Decapre) is so very special to me. You can check out this post first for some stuff I said about them that I'll extrapolate on here. RAMBLE TIME.

Vega and Cammy are very similar and share several traits and I think a lot of it has to do with him having to train and take care of her and the other Dolls. It makes me so very insane that Vega is generally portrayed as this cold and uncaring murder guy who only loves himself, and yet...

Please look at these dialogues from Alpha 3. HE CARES ABOUT HER SO MUCH. IT HURTS. There's so much here. He wants her to be safe. He cares about the girl he took care of so much that he calls M. BISON A COWARD. Bison could kill Vega by looking at him and yet he stands up to him for the sake of someone else's safety. I rambled about their relationship and his feelings towards her more in a text to my gf I'm too lazy to rewrite:

Btw yes I am making a drawing about the braids. They hold so much symbolism TO ME. The braids he did for her... One of the few remaining things connecting them.... It means a lot to him, and you can see how much it means to him in A Shadow Falls:

While she's passed out he just stops to pick up one of her braids and his eyes immediately soften. And then he leaves without really doing anything because he sees that Cammy wants to protect Decapre, who she knows is her sister. He doesn't try to kill Cammy or anyone she loves. Every time he fights her he just sees her as a worthy foe (in the Alpha 3 dialogue up there he later changes his mind about Cammy not being a good opponent as he rescues her from the Shadaloo base). And later in A Shadow Falls when Cammy and Decapre are fighting the other Dolls, he goes against Shadaloo's ideals and frees the Dolls from the Psycho Power controlling them. At the end of the story he throws away his mask. Vega is not heartless... He has kindness and compassion... He has sweetie powers.... He just doesn't want you to know that because he hasn't been allowed to have emotions for so long... He's just stuck working for people he hates. Every time Bison isn't a direct threat to him he just goes back to Bullfighting. He doesn't care about those guys at all and the only thing truly keeping him is probably the fact Bison or another Shadaloo member would show up at his home and kill him if he quit. I think he wishes he could have the same freedom Cammy has... He's proud of her for breaking the cycle of being used as a tool by Bison and wishes he could be afforded the same luxury...

They all even pose the same way... There's a couple pieces of art where theyre posing this way and they share some similar moves too.... The parallels... They compel me....

I don't know if Cammy will ever piece together that Vega is her weird questionably evil possibly clone-related big brother. Decapre is much more similar to him visually and maybe that will tip her off. But for now all of her past growing up in House of Bison is known only to Vega and the fleeting memories kill him every day. He may feel particularly closer to Cammy but he stills shows care and compassion for Decapre too. He loves his sisters so very much and thus....

SOMETIMES A FAMILY IS WHATEVER THIS IS ↓↓↓ ‼️‼️

ITS SO HARD BEING A SINGLE MOM WHEN YOURE AN ASSASSIN FOR SHADALOO AND ALSO A GROWN MAN💯💯

(Also, for the last portion of that ask: I do think Balrog has a "BI GUY" vanity plate. Beef IS Gross, Unethical, and Yucky. That IS what he reads when he sees it. He DOES look at the bi men checking him out and say "we like to put the same thing in our mouth!" Its true. I saw it happen. Lmfao)

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

👫 but any verse of your picking ... and for robibi and abel

✧ ━━ 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 "👫" 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒

𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙸𝙽 𝙰. 𝙱𝙰𝚄𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙴 ; 𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

A FIENDISH FEAST ━ We briefly discussed this, but I do think that Evelynn would continue to stalk around Robin even throughout the events of Arcane, simply because he exists in such a state of mental destruction that its an easy meal for her. Robin's relationships don't magically fix his issues, and he has so many issues with relying on others that he wouldnt want them to, and he continues to suffer throughout the series because of, not only, the universe's cold indifference towards him; but his own self induced misery. I think Eve is well aware that Robin will never heal on his own, and he would rather die alone than willingly let someone in and help him.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A HUMAN? ━ Jumping off of 1 because the idea has consumed me, we've always talked about how Evelynn discovers like ... the beginning of empathy/affection towards humans through Robin, and I still think that stands - however I think it gains even more traction in this verse since they spend even more time together now that Abel doesn't exist ( at least not in the same capacity ). I think Eve is going to learn a lot more about the human experience from Robin in terms of love, joy, grief, a bunch of the things she couldn't before due to their brief window together. Whether this speeds up her own growth, or makes her even more wary of people well ...

WORLD'S 1st AKALYNN SHIPPER? ━ Considering Robin's research material and Arcane going in whatever direction in the future, depending on how the timelines overlap I think it could be really fun if Robin brought Eve with him to Ionia, probably to study Flora but also please stop eating Zaunites. He'd see her and @kalijhomentethi getting cozy by the fire and be like "wow" but also 100% support it, wah I don't know its cute within all the pain.

WHERE ARE YOU? HOW COULD I MISS YOU? ━ I am a firm believer that the cup of life can be filled in various different ways, and I know that Robin grew attached to Evelynn's persistent stalkings. Whether it was knowing he still had a use to someone, or actually having someone to talk to and -- ok actually fuck it!! I was debating putting this because it is gross but I think its important! Robin hates himself. I don't think its a shock to anyone, and he is not mentally well at all when he bonds with Eve. There is a part of me that believes he would enjoy their bond partially ( at least at first ) because he has something worse to compare himself too. I think this would obviously shift over time, but in the beginning it would be such an easy thing for his damaged little brain to latch to; until he realizes he cares for her genuinely, and she for him. He'd feel awful about it later, naturally - because deep down there is love there. I briefly planned out what Robin experiences in the Hexgate Hell™ too, and shockingly, I know Eve was not present in any of them ... And yet, when he came back; oh - how he had missed her.

𝙰𝙱𝙴𝙻 ; 𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

BFFLS - BEST FRENEMIES FOR LIFE ━ Ok now I can write about funny things. I genuinely believe Abel and Eve have this super complex camaraderie where they have this super big like ... man I don't even wanna say dislike?? They feel like the friends who shit on eachother 24/7 to the point where its concerning but as soon as you mention your concerns to them they'd scoff and laugh at you and call you stupid or something. Abel will tolerate a lot of Eve's shit and vice versa - def shit that they wouldn't from other people. Yet despite all of their constant bickering I do think they'd show up for the other in an hour of need. And then hold it over them for the rest of existence.

WEEKLY MEETINGS AKA. FAMILY DINNER ━ This is one of the most stupid, BEST ideas we've ever had Han it kills me everytime I think about it. Abel and Eve care about Robin a lot ( even if Abel doesnt really "get" it ), and the whole weekly family dinner thing is actually so sweet considering Robin had left his familial situation. They really do co-parent him together haha. But that being said, I think its like ... Thursday nights? Yeah. I have a running gag that Abel and Eve also do the "No no. I'm paying" "Well fuck you I've already called the restaurant" "well I CANCELLED YOUR CREDIT CARD" sort of thing that my old man likes to do. I think occasionally other people get invited, friends, lovers, maybe even sometimes work collegues if they're super pressed for time. Locations and level of fanciness changes weekly, but the food is always delicious because I know Abel scopes these places out.

TELEPATHY, ENGAGED. ━ These two are so old. SO OLD. They can 100% read eachother's emotions just by looking at eachother, like Abel doesn't even have a face 99% of the time but Eve can tell when he's like are you hearing this shit? I know Abel has actual telepathy to some extent and it is also very funny in my head to imagine them in this long ass meeting, both wanting to die, and Abel just whispers "You're making a face you know. Mr Neeks has already noiced." in her brain and she just kicks his foot and he just :) But yes I believe they can read eachother pretty well

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT ━ I like to think they spar occasionally to keep their skills up, and because they're both very primal creatures, makes sense that the best way for them to process difficult emotions through physical violence. It gives a safe outlet and plus I'm sure it's fun. They're pretty equal in power too, so it would be a WHILE.

[jewish-vents]

As a new convert, how do I tell people that I'm tired of celebrating Christian holidays?

I have always hated Christmas. It has never brought me joy and only holds family trauma behind it.

Now that I am Jewish, I have no desire to participate in any part of it. This last Christmas I was told that "It's more of just an American Tradition. It's the act of coming together and eating so stop being a kill joy."

This next Christmas is on Hanukkah. I wonder if they will let me light the candles in the public space or if that isn't 'American Tradition" enough.

Oh I can answer from experience, as I'm now in the process of dropping all those holidays with my family and I feel the exact way you do.

My answer to that is, you took them confidently and if they're upset, let them be upset. Depending on the person and your relationship with them you might want to sit them down and explain it more gently and tell them this doesn't mean you don't like them or don't respect the holiday, you just don't wish to participate because it goes against your religion. You can also invite people to Jewish celebrations, or arrange non-holiday related gatherings so they don't feel like you're pushing them aside. With other people, you will just have to be very direct, and don't feel guilty about what they might think or feel.

Ultimately, it's not on you to manage other people's expectations and feelings, and definitely not by compromising who you are. You don't want to celebrate, you don't celebrate. You can communicate that to them, but you can't do much more than that. It's then on them to decide how to react and to manage whatever feelings they have.

Best of luck, I know family matters can be very hard.

- 🐺