#hate hate hate hate hate hate this feeeeeeeeling

[microcosmiclymbic]

.

[kidzbopmallcop]

Hate that Bo Burnham means so much to me

[weebsinstash]

hi! I cannot understand Val’s personality at all, and you’re my favorite writer for him, so I was wondering if you could tell me how he’d react in a situation where his darling is being harassed at a bar he’s not at? Like darling obviously has a tracker on their phone and they know it, but they also can’t leave the bar because that risks them getting kidnapped

maybe Val has already started calling them and leaving voicemails because they no showed, so you know that if you don’t call him and have an immediate reason for not responding you’ll probably be in for a very painful night, so you tell whoever is harassing you that you need to go into the bathroom, and it’s very obvious that they followed you but aren’t in the bathroom, so you just take out your phone and finally answer one of Val’s calls, and you make it obvious your crying, but you also hold the phone away from you so it doesn’t seem like you want Val to know your crying.

after that I’m kinda stuck on how he’d react, but if you’d rather not add to this it’s fine, this was part me wanting a response and part me wanting to tell someone my ideas

If it makes you feel better I also find Val's personality to be levels of inconsistent however I kinda interpret it being inconsistent because he's um an extremely emotional person and also an alcoholic addict and he's constantly pinballing between "oooo this will make me money" to "oh you've pissed me off PERSONALLY therefore I will rain fire upon you", like we have several instances of Valentino potentially sabotaging his business for kicks and Vox has had to reign him back in, and he still gives Angel actual fucking black eyes even when there's still filming, he doesn't even care about not leaving marks since everything will heal eventually

I feeeeeeeel like... it really depends on how his darling grovels to him and explains what is happening. You ditched him, you're out at a bar, you were ignoring his calls, and now you're telling him you're with another man. An abusive man would usually automatically assume "oh you're in a bar? Fucking slut trying to find other men, this is what you fucking get" but since we're having, you know. The Yandere Talk, I feeeeeel like.... it goes one of a few ways

One is he's absolutely pissed in general, at you, at the guy, just misfiring rage and snapping. You're bawling ti try and explain your situation and he snaps he can barely understand you because he can't regulate his anger and, it isn't INHERENTLY being mad at you, he's mad he can't understand you, but he's horrible at communicating that, so he shows up to rescue you and (unintentionally) has you trembling in fear of him because he's speaking to you like "where the fuck are you hurt?! Show me? Ugh, this bruise is huge, it's so fucking ugly, UGH-" and he's like not blaming you but is being so terrifying about it that, you're pretty convinced you'll be hit by him at any moment and maybe it would be you FLINCHING HARD at a sudden movement of his for him to, finally take a second to begrudgingly take a few deep breaths and his tone finally softens and he can stop freaking you out even more than you already are

Option 2 I see is that you answer the phone when he's in the 'love' of the love and the hate he switches between, so you catch him in the middle of one of his "baby you know I care so much about you, it just makes me a little wild when you leave me waiting" sort of voicemails. You finally pick up and you get this slightly catty "ohhhhh, look who it is,you remembered how to answer your phone! I missed you" and the second he can tell you're crying, you're just like, hearing all this stuff in the background and he sounds like he's been drinking but when is he ever NOT drinking "awwww, baby no, that's terrible! *heels clicking wayyy to fast for him to not be literally power walking his stiletto ass somewhere* I'm sure Daddy will be able to get everything sorted out *car door slams* and I'll show this lowlife fucking freak exactly what he deserves *moves the phone away from his mouth to HOLLER at his driver to 'get a fucking move on or I'll fucking kill you'* so don't you worry, ok baby? ❤️ make sure you stay on the phone with me, mhm? *click click click of him loading bullets into a magazine* so what's this motherfucker look like, he's uglier than me, right--"

And then I guess another unique outcome would be uh. You pick up the phone and he's just instantly shouting screaming fuming at you so much that he's like screaming for a few solid minutes before he's finally like "are you even gonna say anything you dumb whore?!" and that's when he finally hears your voice but it's not even your voice, it's your breathing, like you can barely even get any air out, like you're having a panic attack, you can barely even raise the volume of your voice above a whisper and your voice just keeps cracking and shaking, "v val" and like, the very first SYLLABLE out of your mouth he knows something is BIG WRONG because you sound TERRIFIED and you can barely even speak, "some-someone's outside the bathroom.... he says he'll hurt me... I don't know what to do....!" and like that's it. It takes Val from 100 to 0 real fast. He goes from "if you're not on your way home in five fucking minutes-" to "what did you just say" and he's completely quiet as you're like struggling to speak, "i-i'm in-in a stall, but he's... OUTSIDE.... WAITING..." and you just sob with a hand over your mouth but he can still hear it and he's already on his way

Do you think Val knows how to fight and I mean like BRAWL. Valentino's still on the phone with you and he can barely even hear you and he suddenly hears the man's voice, he's come INTO the bathroom now, he's OUTSIDE your stall, antagonizing you, scaring you, grabbing the top of the door and shaking it like it's nothing. You're SCREAMING because you're in A FUCKING STALL and he could either rip the hinges off or just like COME UNDER OR OVER and then you're done for so you're like TERRIFIED WAILING I mean shrieking like a murder victim because oh god oh god oh god you're gonna double die--- and you just hear the door to the bathroom get kicked open and the guy is just like RIPPED away from your stall and CHAOS follows. You hear all these thudding, smashing, crashing, breaking sounds and when you finally hear nothing but Val's voice telling you to come out he's just standing there covered in blood and the dude is on the floor with his face an unrecognizable SLUDGE because Val grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed his face into the edge of the sink until it was knocking teeth out of his mouth. Valentino is over here, reaching for you looking like that scene from The Witch of Mercury

Except unlike in Mercury you're like, only temporarily in stunned silence before you're like, RUSHING to be held by him because you're just scared and bawling and he SAVED YOU and you're so happy you didnt get hurt. Like the duality of him touching you to comfort you but probably getting blood on you maybe even ALL OVER YOU because he's just touching you that much and you're clinging to him that much

I feel like there are times where Val may intentionally NOT save you to use it as some sort of punishment/lesson to manipulate you with later but I feel like the ways in which he would knowingly allow his darling to be hurt are nuanced and contextual. He'd pay a guy to mug you and rough you up to teach you a lesson about leaving the studio on your own, or set up a fake kidnapping, but you come back into the studio ACTUALLY hurt? Stabbed, limping, whatever? He's furious. No one gets to hurt you. Everyone in this entire fucking circle of Hell should know who you belong to by this point and if they're hurting you, they're disrespecting HIM

..... and also you're his cute widdle baby and he doesn't want his boo getting hurt, at least not in a non fun non sexy way 🥺❤️ see sweetie, this is exactly why you should listen to him at all times and never argue with him on anything ❤️

[mrs-monaghan]

regardless of another fun coincidence, the fact that jikook are known even by btb caption writers as the sun and moon duo, and then there’s a little lyric in there about sun and moon - who both have sun and moon tattoos? Hahaha ☀️💛🌙

Yasssss.

Both of them did it too!

And u cannot tell me this doesn't occur to them when they say/sing these lines.

Let's talk the MV for a sec. Of course there's the sexual innuendo

JK still talking about giving his lover that afterglow 😌

He swears by Jimin's good loving. It's that good.

He he he hee. Then we get to the Jikook coded part of the lyrics.

Omg feeeeeeeels 😭😭😭😭😭

Mmm!

Y'all can hate and yap all day. No one can ever take away what they've got. Between this and set me free, as a supporter hearing this,

Such a great song y'all. The lyrics. The aesthetics. The choreo that JK said is the best he's done yet. In his opinion. Giving MJ. Giving Neyo. I can't stop watching it... I can tell the views are gonna be high. As they should 🥰🥰

I wanna talk about the female lead for a sec. Which btw I still dk if its the same person or 3 😂 she looks different everytime. Anyhu, what exactly was her point?? I found her completely useless. Like, we could have done without her, right? For me the only purpose she serves is to show the afterglow JK gives his partner after he's done with him.

Other than that I'm not sure what purpose she serves in the MV 🤷🏽‍♀️ but, whatever.

So about this

Doesn't it remind you of this?

Did Jimin foreshadow? Or is it just another instance of Jikook concepts getting married?

Jaksal noted the same.

Also my friends pointed out how the line isn't straight 😏

I find that interesting... don't you?

On the topic of matching Jikook;

I dont care that PJMs and some Jkkrs have an issue with this. I will forever love it 😍😍

I love Jikook sm.

Bonus: this cute little edit 😂

From the snippet I didn't think I would like SNTY but I actually really love it. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 It's so pleasing to the eye too!

[bisexual-cryptid]

it all starts because steve can’t bring himself to leave the hospital at first. he just can’t leave max and eddie there alone, and so he neglects taking care of himself and that just so happens to invoke him not shaving either.

he doesn’t grow facial hair super fast, and the fact he is so focused on whether or not eddie and max will wake up, he doesn’t even notice the growing facial hair at first. it’s not until eddie wakes up that he really notices how long he’s been letting it grow.

he’s not there when eddie wakes up. he’s on his shift with max while uncle wayne takes over looking after eddie. as soon as he gets the news that eddie is awake he’s rushing into the room. he nearly collapses when he sees eddie’s bright smile and tired eyes for the first time in weeks. even in a hospital bed, covered in bandages and deep bags under his eyes, steve can’t help but think that eddie looks beautiful.

“hey big boy!” eddie greets as soon as steve is through the door. steve can’t help the desperate laugh that bubbles up in his throat as he rushes over to eddie’s bedside.

“you’re awake!” steve exclaims, being careful not to jostle eddie as he sits himself on the edge of the hospital bed, next to eddie’s calves.

steve watches as eddie’s eyes travel over his face, his eyes widening as he gets down to his lips. he feels his face heat up as he watches eddie look him over, suddenly feeling horribly self conscious about the fact he hasn’t showered in days.

“you- you have facial hair,” eddie says, how voice sounding a little strained. steve brings a hand up to his chin, rubbing it over the hair there as if just realizing it exists.

“oh, uh, yeah. i guess i didn’t realize how long it’s been since i shaved.” steve says self consciously, keeping his hand there to cover some of it up.

“it looks really good.” eddie says with finality, a bright smile lighting up his face as he lets out a pleased giggle. like, an honest to god giggle. “lemme feeeeeeeel,” eddie whines, trying to sit up and reach for steve’s face. steve turns to wayne, realizing now, how out of it eddie must be on pain killers.

“how out of it is he?” steve asks, ignoring as eddie’s finger tips reach his face and start stroking over the hair there. wayne is watching all of this with an amused smile.

“he is higher ‘an a skunk in a tree.” wayne replies, his accent coating his words. steve turns back to eddie, who’s hand is still firmly on his face.

“you’re so pretty, stevie.” eddie says, his voice light and airy. his face is deeply concentrated as he continues stroking his fingertips over steve’s facial hair. steve can feel how hot his face is from both the contact and eddie’s words. he knows eddie is high out of his mind, but he wishes so bad this could be real.

“isn’t he pretty, uncle wayne?” eddie asks, turning to his uncle without removing his hand from steve’s face.

“oh, the prettiest,” wayne replies jokingly. he and steve had gotten decently close in the weeks eddie has been in the hospital so he doesn’t mind joking around with the other man. steve flips him off, not bothering taking his eyes off eddie as he does so.

steve suddenly realizes the strain reaching out to touch his face must be putting on eddie’s wounds. he takes eddie’s hand in his, moving it gently back to his side, despite eddie’s protests.

“you’ll pull your stitches,” steve argues, releasing eddie’s hand once it’s by his side.

“but i wanna touch your beard! it’s soft and pretty!” eddie argues back, tears springing to his eyes. steve starts to panic as the tears start falling down eddie’s face. he turns to wayne, silently asking for help but the man just shrugs at him.

when steve turns back to eddie the boy is reaching out with both arms now and trying to sit up so he can touch steve again. steve panics, grabbing both arms to place them back by his sides.

“steeeeeve, why do you hate me?” eddie cries, the tears falling steadily now as he lets out gross sniffles.

“eddie, you’ll hurt yourself,” steve tries to reason again, but even he knows it’s a losing battle.

“please, stevie. need to touch you,” eddie says, his voice thick with tears. unsure what else to do, steve finally gives in. there’s no way he will let eddie pull a stitch but he also knows he’s losing this fight.

“fine.” steve huffs out, carefully maneuvering himself so he is sitting closer to eddie’s torso instead of his legs before carefully bending over and letting eddie reach up to touch his face. a huge smile breaks out on eddie’s face as soon as he touches steve’s facial hair.

“so pretty,” eddie says wistfully, making steve’s face heat up once again. it doesn’t take long before eddie’s eyes start drooping, and before he knows it he’s back asleep, his hand still firmly on steve’s face.

steve knows he’ll have terrible back pain later, but he doesn’t really care as he carefully positions himself so he can lay his head down next to eddie, making sure his hand stays on his face the whole time in case he wakes up.

[quailxcrossing]

I will always jump at the opportunity to ask about your ocs!!!! Truth be told I always have so many questions about them but just forget to ask, THANK you for RBing these ask games 🙏

7, 20 and 37 and for GOAT!!!

39 and H for Auï

31, 2, and 27 for Lucjan

and A & B for Caius and Etcetera! :3

;;0;; THANK YOUUU FISH it means a lot to meeeeee excited to get to answering!!!

GOAT !!!!!!!

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? Certain smells that remind him of his old apartment, heavily wooded areas, the general concept of college sends him right back to being 4, rough felty textures and soft clothbody dolls. he usually doesn't like getting nostalgic, even in a good way, it makes him irritated.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so? ohhh this is a good question. It's also hard bc personally the lines are all over the place in a variety of ways! like, i don't think i could answer this question for myself. like. help. i just want to kiss girls

for Goat....shifting into his brain right now. well. to him, those things feel very different- the way he feels like Turrie's (unspoken) brother has a different texture and expectation in his mind than how he's Cian's best friend. he knows both of them will love him unconditionally (at least he hopes they will) but its still different. like he's allowed to wrestle and annoy and gnaw on Turrie's arm, but he'll zip everything up when Cian seems like she needs a little space.

Auï feels a little bit in the middle but also completely different- Goat wants to earn Auï's respect but he's found it's easier to be vulnerable about it. He wants Auï to view him as "his person", and feels extra special when Auï chooses him in a situation. He wants Auï to choose him every time. He's not particularly sure where this line turns from platonic to romantic, though- he definitely knows there's attraction, but he felt this way long before even seeing Auï physically. He just wants to be his little guy, he doesn't know. he wants things to be expressed differently with Auï- he wants to be his boyfriend! he knows he could do a lot of the things he already does with Auï, but he wants that title and set of expectations. he doesn't know what it means at all, but it's how he feeeeeeeels

tl'dr Goat is demiaro/demiace + gay with killer alexithymia

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? 

Unfortunately, Goat was blessed with a photographic memory, but also ADHD. He views his memories in perfect snapshots of what he saw, and can view lists and orders this way, but Cian still needs to ask him 6 times to take the trash out. he's especially good with numbers this way- don't even worry he will NEVER forget a set of numbers. names, orders...they're a little bit trickier, but he usually relies on his good long-term memory to hopefully get things right- sometimes he just goes "uh, i don't know, red red green blue purple? i don't even remember. oh, i was right?? that just felt correct!"

AUÏ lets fucking gooooo

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

mmmmm!!!!! it used to be easy for him- he could recognize things, but he'd usually be kind enough to lend them some bit of grace. however, one of the Key Things his abuser did to him was pick his brain and make him notice and be aggravated by every little flaw in those around him, to isolate him! While in turn, holding Auï at an angle so he couldn't see his abuser's flaws.

Nowadays, he notices quite a lot, but he is trying to reteach himself to be accepting....he doesn't enjoy losing people in his life over petty things. he loves his friends despite their shortcomings, and he can put up with those annoyances as a testament of his care for them.

some people, however.....Slavavas........he just hates that guy. for a lot of reasons. its not Slavavas's fault but Auï is CERTAINLY finding every flaw in him

H) What trait do you (me!!) admire most? i really admire Auï's perseverance! he started as a vent character that I had no hope for, but he was able to prove himself to me as someone who would survive. I admire his ability to keep hope, however dim it gets at times, and how he doesn't close himself off from others despite how he's been hurt. Auï's survival is very important, to both of us!

I note this because when I was first writing his story, all the way back in BEINGS, some of you may know he was supposed to be killed off. As is the fate of a vent character written by a hurting creator. BUT....this devastated me (and Goat) and just made me feel worse....so deeply that I (and Goat) (mostly Goat, physically) had to rip open the seams of the universe so I could give him another chance- and another, and another, until he got it right! So deeply, deeply I admire his perseverance. Every time he enjoys the company of his friends or does something nice for himself, an angel gets their wings.

LUCJAN this is a fun one!?!?! how did you know I literally was drawing him today. i was JUST thinking about this guy. i love him

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?  His dear friends Alto and Pazz!! They were his favorite friends :D and trust me, Lucjan had a LOT of friends. He really connected with these two, especially Alto- he felt all of their lives were blessed to have met each other, should some divine being have guided their paths...he just really liked his best friends.

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh? Very easy!! Lucjan is constantly laughing at everything, he thinks every joke is the funniest ever, he is also one of those people who politely chuckle to confirm "yes i'm listening". he's so.... jovial... sorry i keep switching from past/present tense. im sad

27. What causes them to feel dread? 

Genuinely? When he was alive, nothing. He was an extremely trusting person, both in others and in the universe that everything would turn out. Doesn't mean he didn't feel fear! Just not dread. He did not dread! In his awesome ghost Waffle Fries AU(?), almost nothing! He doesn't like hearing noises behind him without a discernable source. Like if the floor creaks behind him and no one is there, he's on edge. just a little bit. maybe a lot sometimes.

yessss more creator questions these are FUN

A) Why are you excited about this character? B) What inspired you to create them?

For Caius and Etcetera!

I am excited for these characters because i LOVE THEM. i love their story.....its what founded my biggest story world to date! its a story which has changed a LOT over the years- did you know these guys used to be furries. its been an important story to me to cope with feelings like grief, progressive memory loss, fatherhood, neurodiversity, sexuality/closetedness....and lighter topics like my love for the beach, my love for catboys, and my love for whats going to be a very interestingly drawn comic if i can get my shit together! also my love for Kennedy. you didn't mention Kennedy but they are VERY important to Caicetera, and they did literally change my life radically (for the better) its an insane story.

what inspired me.....a lot of IRL experiences that happened in 2019, and then 2020 (not Covid). i had Caius and Etcetera's characters already down, they were literally every trope I liked at the time. i'm honestly not sure if there's any media that inspired it......i take my little snippets from media, like any writer, but i'm not really a writer who could point to any One thing, which is totally valid but it's personally not how i enjoy writing. i like working from the ground up! i work best from a wide palette! and sooo much has changed, the first Revive world was COMPLETELY different from today's Revive world. It used to be a free-for-all fantasy world with tons of different species set in the forest, to a more grounded fantasy world with solid worldbuilding/species and a SoCal flavor. i've been able to expand a lot better this way!! i mean, like, the 3 characters i talked about before these questions- aui, goat, and lucjan- they will never meet Caius and Etcetera, and yet their stories are just as rich and long! i'm very much a writer who likes to branch out in her worlds........

[ruminate88]

Erm… I’m trying to feel it and release it. Too long I was numb after my ex Cody brutally discarded me TWICE and then ghosted me. To which then, I ran and found someone else to obsess over who ALSO discarded me annnnnd then I had to run again but found a guy I DO NOT obsess over at alll but he was so nice and no drama so I choose to be with him and marry him quickly but feel so disconnected despite my efforts to force myself there. I mean, I give it all ive got to feeeeeeeel anything. I did when we were dating. I felt safe with him and opened until we got married. Suddenly everything he does is a trigger 😳😨 annnnd now I have to actually stop running away from the pain of Cody but don’t know it yet. I just know I compare every thing my husband does or says to my exes. I over think 24/7 and I closed up and shut down. I couldn’t express my honest and real feelings cuz I’m terrified my husband will get his feelings hurt at me 😓

I hate that I did not meet my husband first 😓❤️‍🩹 why’d I have to meet these toxic men who make me obsessive over them and chase them in circles while they carelessly murder my heart and make me beg for affection?? 🥴 I just wanna believe in myself and believe in love again. I don’t wanna run from love. I wanna be vulnerable and real. I’m always feeling “fake” around everyone who seemingly cares for me… I always feel exposed and deep shame for the past.

I’m ashamed I obsessed over my exes 🥺 I know that’s not healthy love. I fear people will judge me for staying in abusive relationships where I basically worshiped these men and kissed their feet begggggggging them to want me. They’re just people like me. They’re no more special or valuable than I am. God is no respecter of people. He be treating us all the same… SOO HOW DID I THINK MY EXES WERE SO AMAZING? 🥺😓 I’m sorry to them. I couldn’t treat them in a healthy manner and they certainly didn’t treat me well either. I only stayed cuz I believed they were what I wanted more than anything. I thought they could get better with enough love and patience but they didn’t want to change for me. They didn’t understand what they even needed to do or be for me. They’re very wrapped up in their own world. I didn’t really exist in their world the way they existed in mine ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 When will I be able to get past this or open up ???

“Never forget, pain is just a temporary guest. You must never let it make a home out of you.”

— f.e. marie

[melissa-benoists]

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[amirosebooks]

Every time I rewatch 9x03, with Cas being homeless, I bounce back and forth the whole time about how good this episode is and how fucking sad it is and then I end up asking myself why I put myself through this sadness.

[scummzz]

.

[whitewolf634]

maaannnnnnnnnn so much creative shit is bizarrely inaccessible by way of everyone involved being terrible at teaching their craft. "do what feels good" means nothing to me lol im autistic and need at least Some rules to work with here

[foreverindreamlandd]

Out of Bounds (3)

Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU)

WC: 2.8k

Summary: Feeeeeeeelings and a beloved redhead shows up :)

-------------

This is it, you thought to yourself as Bucky’s lips met yours. If I could do anything for the rest of my life, I would want it to be this.

That was in fact the last thought you had before your head went dizzy from the ecstasy you felt kissing Bucky. His soft, plump lips were pure Heaven, and you moved to grab the back of his head, fingers raking through his hair-

And before the kiss had even truly begun, Bucky stopped it, pulling away from you with wide eyes.

All of the blood drained from your body, horror replacing ecstasy from the rejection.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, trying to step away, “That was out of line. I misread the situation and even if I hadn’t I should have asked-”

“Doll- Y/n, no.” Bucky kept you close to him, keeping his hands around your face. “Please believe me when I say that I have wanted to do that for so fucking long.” He breathed out a laugh of elation, but you still felt the tears forming even with his confession.

“I don’t understand….”

He sighed, looking down for a moment to gather his thoughts before meeting your eyes again. “I’ve been in this world a while, and have gotten a certain amount of attention from other fans that I stupidly took advantage of when I first started out. Sure, I’ve learned a lot since I was young and an absolute idiot, but thinking back on that still makes me sick. I made so many mistakes, have so many regrets about how I treated those people because I didn’t know what I was doing.”

You nodded, nausea filling your stomach. “Gotcha. You don’t want to do another fling or anything.” The smile you willed into existence came nowhere near to reaching your eyes. “I get it. Thanks, Bucky. I appreciate you being honest and telling me before I turned it into a thing.”

Bucky groaned, bending at the knees and tilting his head up in frustration and then straightening back up to look at you. “No, doll, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want this to be a fling, I want it to be more. A lot more.”

He waited for a response that you were incapable of giving. The only thing running through your mind was a TikTok sound byte: The woman was too stunned to speak.

So he kept going. “First and foremost, you are my friend. Getting to know you these past six months has been the highlight of my damn life, and the idea of ruining that honestly scares the absolute shit out of me. But I’ve known for a while that you mean more to me than that. Like, when you’re not working a game I get worried and sad because it means I don’t get to see you. Or I even - and I hate to admit this because it makes me sound like an asshole - I get excited when I get an excuse to talk to you during games, like when you’re about to get nailed by a player- wait shit I didn’t mean it like that.” He closed his eyes.

Bucky was cute when he rambled.

Opening them back up, he went on. “Let me try that again. I like finding reasons to bother you on the field, like saving your ass when you get too into your work and don’t seem to pay attention to any imminent danger. I just…I like you, Y/n, and I asked to talk to you tonight because I wanted to see if you might feel the same.” He cocked his head to the side in a mini shrug. “Which I guess was answered by that kiss, and I wouldn’t mind doing that again in the future. But what I really want is to take things slow, because the last thing I want is to mess things up. Whatever this is, what I feel for you, if it’s going to happen it has to be the real deal, not just a fling or something that can only be found in the heat of passion like me punching your asshole ex.”

Finally, you laughed, and the sound made Bucky grin from ear to ear.

“So,” he continued, “Y/n, would you like to have dinner with me sometime? Like, on a date?”

Though you were in danger of passing out from all of the emotions running through your body, you tried to play it cool, narrowing your eyes in contemplation.

“Let’s see,” you started, “Do I want to go on a date with the hot captain of the soccer team who makes me laugh so hard there are times that I almost drop my ridiculously expensive camera and also happens to be the man I’ve wanted to kiss ever since he saved my face from getting wrecked by a ball six months ago?”

Bucky bit his bottom lip, smile growing wider by the second. “Is that a yes?”

You nodded. “Yeah, Bucky. I’d love to.”

He pulled you in for a hug, his arms around your waist and yours around his neck.

“Thank fuck,” he murmured, and you giggled as you pulled away. Your thumb reached up to stroke the bruise on his cheek.

“Alright, before any other declarations take place, let’s get some ice on this before that lovely face of yours swells up.”

He beamed. “Lovely face, aye?”

You rolled your eyes, taking his hand and leading him back to the player’s entrance. Bucky pulled out his player fob and unlocked the door, pulling it open and gesturing for you to walk in first, hand still interlaced with yours.

“You’re gonna have to lead the way, Buck. I’ve never actually been to the locker room before.”

“What? Don’t the camera crew come in to shoot interviews and other cool behind-the-scenes shots?”

You chuckled. “I shoot game footage, Bucky. You know there are multiple crew people who film different parts of the game, right?”

He pouted. “I mean, I was just hoping there might be an excuse to see you more after games.”

“Wow, it really is impossible for you to turn off the charm, huh?”

His hand squeezed yours and he smirked. “With you? Never. Gotta make sure you don’t lose interest.”

You shook your head. “Impossible. Anyways, I’m sure I could get promoted to cover more media on and off the field, but I’m still relatively new, so we’ll see.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed.”

While you walked down the maze of hallways, you gazed at the different portraits lining the walls of the team’s highlights over the years. There were, of course, a bunch of cool shots of Bucky mid-kick or headbutting the ball.

“What are the chances someone on staff notices one of these is suddenly missing?”

“Oh, Wanda would definitely notice and you would never be allowed back here again. I swear that woman has eyes in the back of her head. She sees everything.” Wanda had been the owner of the team for the last five years, and her leadership had played a huge part in their increase in wins as each season passed. Her best decision was making Bucky captain, followed by her decision to change the head coach to Natasha Romanoff. Most people had given her shit for hiring a female coach for a men’s soccer team, but they shut right up after they won six games in a row.

Bucky continued, “What, do you want one of these awesome shots of yours truly? I can always take one from my personal collection and sign it for you and everything.”

“Actually, I was eyeing that shot of Thor kicking the winning goal from last year’s championship game. Think he might have one of those he could sign for me?”

He whipped his head at you, glaring and you giggled as you gave him a wink.

Finally, you turned a corner that led to the door of the locker room. The lights were still on, so Bucky quietly opened the door, looking from side to side to see if anyone was in there.

“Hello?” he called out.

“Barnes? What the hell are you still doing here?” Natasha walked out of the coach’s office, leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed, still in her navy blue suit and white converse (because she was the coolest fucking person on the planet), red hair tied back in a low bun. Her gaze flashed down to you and Bucky’s entwined hands and the two of you simultaneously pulled apart. She looked back to you with her iconic side-smile. “Y/n, welcome to the men’s locker room. Had I known you were coming I would have gotten a nose plug or something. This place smells like ass.”

You chuckled. “Thanks, Coach Romanoff-”

“Natasha,” she corrected.

“Natasha. We’re only here for some ice. Bucky took a hit to the face and I wanted to check on it before going home.”

Natasha looked over at Bucky. “You okay, Barnes?”

He shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.” The two of you glanced at each other with mirrored smiles.

The redhead nodded, standing straight and walking toward you. “Well, I’m heading out for the night. Can you lock up once everything is….taken care of?”

Bucky nodded. “Sure thing, coach.”

She walked past you both toward the exit, turning back to give you a quick wink. “Have a good night you two. Nice seeing you, Y/n.”

“You too, Natasha. See you at next week’s game!”

Then, it was just the two of you alone in the locker room.

Bucky cleared his throat. “There’s a fridge in the coach’s office with ice packs. I’ll go grab one.”

While he was gone, you took a moment to inspect the room. Two sides of the walls were lined with a long bench and individual cubbies for the players, their numbers posted at the top of each one. You scanned down the line until you found one with the number 6 at the end, then walked over to it.

Bucky kept his locker tidy. A set of clean jerseys were folded on one of the shelves, and he kept his cleats at the bottom. Taped up in the back were three photos. One of him with his mom and sister, you recalled their names being Winifred and Becca. You’d seen them in the crowd every once in a while and whenever he caught sight of them his whole demeanor would brighten and your heart would swell. The other one was younger versions of him, Sam, and Steve in high school soccer jerseys, all of them covered in grass and dirt, smiling from ear to ear.

The last was an official portrait of a young man in army dress greens. His eyes were a familiar shade of blue that made you wonder if-

“That’s my dad,” Bucky’s voice echoed in the empty room and you turned to him. “He died when I was in high school.”

“I’m sorry, Buck. I’m sure he would have been so proud to see the player you are today.”

He nodded. “I hope so. He was my biggest cheerleader. Once he was out of the army, he came to all my games, clapping louder than anyone else in the bleachers and giving refs shit whenever they made bad calls.”

You laughed, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Sounds like a great guy.”

Bucky handed you the ice pack, standing by your side and grabbing one of his cleats. “I’d say he was the best guy around, but I’m completely biased. Miss him like hell, but he’s with me whenever I play.” He pivoted the shoe until you see the heel, the number 107 printed on it. “That was the number of his regiment in the army.”

Tears pricked your eyes and you ran your fingers over the numbers. “I wish I could have met him.”

“Me, too. He would have loved you.”

You chuckled, ignoring the butterflies that had returned to your stomach (if they had even left at all the entire evening, you wondered). “You say that, but I don’t know how he would feel about the camera lady who keeps diverting his son’s attention from the game because she keeps on putting herself in the middle of danger.”

He pondered that. “Fair point.” You scoffed, lightly hitting him on the chest and he laughed. “Hey! It’s not my fault you don’t pay attention to said danger!”

You pondered that. “Fair point.” More laughs were shared as you placed your hands on Bucky’s shoulders, guiding him to sit down on the bench. You rested the ice pack on his cheek and he hissed at the feeling. “Sorry,” you said, wincing.

He shook his head, hand reaching up to cover yours. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s like you said, gotta make sure this lovely face is taken care of.” You rolled your eyes. “You know, one of these days your eyes are gonna get stuck like that.”

You rolled them again. “Okay, dad.”

The dissipation of Bucky’s laughter led to a comfortable silence shared between the two of you while you pressed the ice pack on his face. You took the time to examine his face for other bruises or markings from the scuffle with Brock. And when you couldn’t find anything, you took the time to openly admire him. The dimple on his chin, the lines in the corner of his eyes caused by the cute little squint they did whenever he smiled, the perfect pinkness of his lips you now knew to be as soft as they looked-

“So,” Bucky’s voice pulled you out of your daydream, “How are you liking the gig so far? Happy to be here?”

“I love it.” He beamed at your response. “I mean, I knew nothing about soccer before getting the job, and I still don’t totally get what offsides means, but it’s so fun.”

His brows furrowed. “How the hell did you get this job if you knew nothing about soccer? Like, obviously you’re amazing and talented but…I feel like that would be a requirement.”

“I didn’t know soccer, but I used to film for other sports. In fact, I worked for a hockey team for a few years right out of college.” You sighed. “That was how I met Brock. His dad owned the team. Once we broke up- when he dumped me, I quit. Managed to download some footage I’d shot to use for my portfolio so Wanda could see what I was capable of.” You grimaced at the memory of your interview with the team’s owner. “Also I may or may not have had a breakdown in the middle of our meeting and unloaded the whole situation to her. So, I guess me being hired was a mix of my talent and her taking pity on me.”

Bucky’s free hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer to him. He stared at you for a few moments with a soft expression on his face.

“Whatever it was - though I’m 100% confident it was because of your talent - I’m fucking thrilled that you’re here.”

You grinned. “Me, too.”

A few moments later you checked on Bucky’s face, and when you declared that the swelling had gone down, the two of you made your way out of the locker room.

“Thanks for the help, doc,” Bucky said with a smile, turning the lights off and grabbing your hand.

“Anytime, Bucko. Just please don’t get punched by my ex or anyone else.”

His jaw tightened. “I’ll try not to, as long as that asshole doesn’t show his face in my stadium again.”

Your heart fluttered at the protective tone in his voice, and you squeezed his hand.

Heading down the hallway, your attention refocused on the pictures hung on the wall. There was one that caught your eye and made you stop short.

Bucky stared at you, brows furrowed. “Doll? You okay?”

You stared at the photo for a few seconds. It was a still of Peter Parker as he prepared for a penalty kick.

In the back left of the picture, you caught two small figures standing side by side. A tall player with shoulder-length chestnut hair, leaning to the side and whispering something to a woman holding a camera, captured mid-laugh.

You turned back to Bucky with a smile. “Never better, Barnes.”

Moving to wrap your arm around his waist, Bucky shifted his over your shoulder, hugging you tightly to him as you continued your journey out of the stadium.

-----

Next Part

Thank you for reading! Feel free to check out my other stuff here. :)

Tags: @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @eclipses-and-moondust @itsdawnashlie @peaches1958 @blackwidownat2814 @barnesafterglow

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[zenosanalytic]

Griddlehark Fusion: The Nona Excerpt

Ok so, this is going to be pretty much verbatim taken from a tag-rant I just wrote and, while I know it is very much My Issues and so maybe I’m reading too much into it, I nevertheless FEEEEEEEEL it Very Strongly, and even if I end up being Wrong I want it out there cuz the Idea is Bueautiful and I feel it also explicates certain Themes of the work uwu So:

I Truly, Genuinely Think Nona is a bodysharing fusion of Harrow and Gideon.

we KNOW Harrow had the Sensory thing

we KNOW her body suffered severe brain damage both intentional and unintentional which could cause the physical problems

Corollary: two very different minds used to two VERY DIFFERENT Bodies both trying simultaneously to use it “normally” could quite reasonably get lots of wires crossed

we KNOW she has the lyctoral instaheal and resilience from the last chapter of HtN

we KNOW she has Gideon's sense of humor and need to both Love and be Loved and absolute, easy Grace

And like: just TRY to tell me Gideon would not hug E V E R Y  DOG she met!

You are a Liar: You Know It: Be Ashamed

we KNOW Harrow WANTS THAT TOO!

ADMIRED AND LOVED THAT in Gideon MOST OF ALL!!

wanted more than anything TO REST!!!

Honestly I read that excerpt and thought: that is everything Harrow would want right now. No Responsibilities, the Freedom to express what she feels, None of her Hangups and Neuroses Trapping her in behavior she both hates and NEEDS; behaviors she both DESPAIRS OF and thinks of as CORE to her SENSE of Herself!

And also I feel like Nona is a Harrow with Gideon's constant, present, affirming love; a Harrow who can Freely Love because she always and immediately KNOWS she is loved in an undeniably practical way, because she can FEEL that love FOR herself and FROM herself and so cannot deny that it is there! Like

One of the HUGE struggles of Depression is Feeling Loved and Believing you are Loved. When someone is telling you, or showing you that they love you, it’s a bit easier to believe it(or sometimes just harder to deny it cuz it’d be to their face), but 5 minutes later, when the expression has stopped and the person is gone, there are ALL the Old Doubts seeping in again, telling you you are SHIT and that the World is SHIT and that you are a Terrible naive annoying FOOL for ever even THINKING for ONE SECOND that anyone could feel anything positive for a waste of flesh and air like you. But if your Mind and Soul could MERGE with that of someone who Loves you -who Really LOVES You; Who KNOWS(!!!) All your flaws and all the Worst things youve ever done Intimately because YOU DID THEM TO THEM and yet STILL Loves you- if you could have that sort of Love always present in your Heart, I think maybe -MAYBE!- that would be enough to kick depression so hard in the teeth, it not only moves to a new city once it lands in Next Week, but also shits enamel for a month after.

[wishful-soda]

Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t read chapter 14 yet… IM SCREAMING!!! THE ENDING AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH EVEN MORE THAN I HATE YOU DANIEL SHUT UP YOURE IN DENIAL YOU LOVE HER AND YOU KNOW IT YOURE JUST TOO SCARED TO ADMIT IT Cus FEEEEEEEELINGS AHHHHHHHHH I need more 😭😭😭

Yes spoiler alert!

Our boy is in DENIAL. I mean she is too, but Dan has been in love with her for a good while now and can’t admit it. 🤦‍♀️

[mermaidsirennikita]

Also didn't Netflix do a Motley Crue biopic? Where Machine Gun Kelly played Tommy Lee lol. Like I haven't seen it so I don't know how much they went into Tommy's private life but I also saw nobody talking about that? So why now, why this show?

Because Tommy is a dick and people think Pam isn't, so it's fine for him to be depicted in a shitty biopic lmao.

And like, look, when I made that post--I fucking hate the Windsors lol. I basically clapped my hands when Prince Charles tried sending the dogs after Netflix. But idk man, you don't just suddenly lose your right to be outraged about your private life being depicted without your permission because you're an asshole. If Tommy had voiced an issue with this show depicting his talking penis yammering about Heather Locklear and Denise Richards, I would've probably been like "well fuck that guy" but also.... yeah, technically, he has a right to be mad about that if he wants to be.

It's really like... I have no issue with the people being depicted feeling whatever they wanna feel about fictionalized portrayals of themselves. We can have discussions about this, and we should. But these projects will always be made. And if you're gonna get up in arms about Pamela, you should be consistent and get up in arms about everyone else. I am very sympathetic to Pam. I think she is much more complex and problematic than a lot of people discussing her would like to reckon with (the IDF support, the Assange support, the dismissal of Weinstein victims, the cultural appropriating, the Trump favor currying) ; but my point is that her being problematic doesn't mean that her feelings about this should technically be dismissed, right? And I have to wonder if these people would bat for her if they did perceive her as problematic, because it feeeeeeeels like they wouldn't based off how a lot of them have either said nothing about the Windors and the Guccis and so on and so on, or been like "this is different. how? don't ask".

[ibelonginthepast]

okay I need your klance fic recs(i feel like you have really good taste)(i mean your icon is literally THE keith of course you have god tier taste)

okay so the thing is.. that when i say am kinda messed up and disgusting sometimes... and becoming a madwoman... am not over exaggerating or saying it in a funky way.. i actually am getting like that .. and that's how i got into the klance fandom initially. i project through lance and read really langsty fics.. and they are messed messed with like violent nsfw, gore, horror, serious mental health issues etc? so if u want those... i'll only send them if u want?

yeah tho i entered with this thingy that klance is gonna be like my guilty pleasure or some shit but them i inevitably fell in love with some GORGEOUS fanfictions out there and KEITH KOGANE in all shapes sizes genders and ages so lol...

but they aren't flowery. that's just not my taste. Some of them might be "problematic"? it's in quotes because i don't agree with it. it's not going to be problematic in plain ignorant sense like racial issues or blatant sexism or mental abuse.... but they might have like stuff which people dont always agree with like drugs. most of them would have nsfw it's just something that i need to have for feels and that's why i asked if u minded it. some things are like more subjective,, characterizations for example, cause like some people dont think keith is a skirt guy cause he isnt in fashion but i think he is petty and rebellious so he will defo do that? some of them would have like physical fights and stuff.. or keith and lance being mean to each other.. some ugly habits which aren't necessarily condemned like anger or drugs.? but with how i see it, it's not glorified, so i see them as human. i love the raw and ugly in these or idk its just human to me (but some people dont like which is completely valid cause we are all different from different environments and think different and resonate with different stuff.)

wait addition: i think some of them will have sexist themes? which i have complained about a lot before. i dont know why authors feel the need to somehow put women down to show how a mlm relationship without any women is superior or some shit it's annoying as fuck i hate it. i dont think i would have any especially sexist fics here, but there might be some with lowkey themes and bad handling of those issues. some of them mau have that subtext of disgusting heteronormative standards, but in subtext uk like bottom lance having a small waist and being giggly and all in contrast to big bulk keith.

here are some that i had bookmarked... but i may remember some more and then send them to u and or add them here...

a heads up.. i dont remember all of them very well. its been a while and i read fanfictions A LOT so yeah.. incase one slips up here which isnt very good am sorry dont judge me

the bold ones are the ones u should really check out if our taste is similar.

to begin with plain f l u f f,, my first klance bookmark was How Could I Say No? by Padfoots_Pawprint. tws for violence, bullying, injury BUT it's not actually gory or something like that it's just keith being keith and getting hurt and lance helping my boi like he should. it made me feeeeeeeel ksksk

this was one that kinda really touched me,, Wasted youth, Cryptids, and Waterboys by Baea THIS HAS EXPLICIT NSFW in it, the first chapter kicks off with it.. its a good fuck buddies to lovers in my opinion.. i love the writing style, the choice of how it's just a couple entries of random days in their lives. i love keith's characterization.. he is a hobo and a conspiracy nerd.. i love how down for him lance is, very dedicated. i love their growth.. i love how they help each other grow,, and it's so like real and usual day to day and human and down to earth idk how else to express it. this is INCOMPLETE. it's 12 chapters and discontinued as of now,, but it's not a deadly cliffhanger

similar in style and approach to the above. tho i think here is where it gets dubious. Easy, Tiger. by @/WhatTheBodyGraspsNot ... this is INCOMPLETE too and as of now discontinued. this has that sorta murky vibe with it's drug usage, them being teenagers in school and engaging in stuff like this, bad boy keith and all. this has nsfw too. i just remember really liking it and its very raw and unfiltered. tho it's incomplete it's not an open ending for now.

okay so i am restarting this but am upset as fuck that it all got deleted so i am gonna be lazy and not put as much effort as i did.

i have also Crowd Pleaser bookmarked by the same author,, this one's complete and it has some serious issues around gaslighting if i remember correctly... i really liked it then. keith is literally an angel here, i want to kidnap him and marry him literally. the s h w ee t e s t shit ,, and i like how lance gives him all the support and space to get his shit together

Drummer boy by klancekorner,, i think it's similar to the prev one, but lance's pov(which is what i prefer ngl). this authors fanfics are all just wholesome. i had put links to all their fics before, but imma now just say that u should go and check all their fics out. i have them all bookmarked, i must have seen something in them (can't remember what now tho and i cant be bothered to skim through them like last time *rolls eyes*)

War of hearts? idk why honestly, just ik keira has made me gay, and lesbian rejection angst? garrison? yes :) it's incomplete, conveniently left at the point where lance's heart is broken lol

Fuck buddies with benefits. THE NAME IS BAD I KNOW but i just love the idea of a dedicated mess of a keith and lance taking care of him. that's it that's the fic if i remember correctly. oh wait yeah u might think keith is not treating lance right, but i think it's fine if lance is treated a bit stupid. this is a bit too sex driven tho i dont like it but just SLEEPDEPRIVED KEITH TO TAKE CARE OF IMMA SIGN UP (ik this maybe coming off toxic but lol look at me)

Rambling: THIS WAS ME.

Last Defense: TW SUICIDE this is literally the langst i have for canon lance

I want something else: bad boy keith can break my limbs and cut my face and i will thank him

A thank you would be nice: keira damn

game-set-match: b a d b o y

I swear to go the devil made me do it: my typically fav trop, hardcore pining lance, literally perfect angsty keith. very similar to the top ones ig? idk also this one is one of my comparatively recent sane bookmarks so that's something. it starts off weird, u think it gon be subtly sexist but it turns out better so hold on

you've got me locked up: i think it's delinquent keith,, its floofy

Dad lance and tattoo artist keith: the name says it

damn while going through my bookmarks i realized that there are a lot of things i never bookmarked? i am pretty sure i loved a lot of long fanfictions, flower shop aus and tattoo artists shit wtf-

wait here's one, it's not complete: Blood jumps in the sun: it's very heavy has a lot of growth and kinda wholesome,, tags and summary will give u an idea what u getting in.

The lessons we learned: can't remember much other than florist keith, sad keith, smart keith, really long, pining

damn i think i have a lot of happy ones i didn't bookmark cause my brain was like u dont deserve the serotonin :( i'll add if i have more)

some actually angsty, detailed nsfw and messy (according to the way u interpret these) ones... lemoninagin.. they have some very detailed and explicit nsfw stuff but i am not there for it. some of it has the kind of angst i like? an actual one that i love and they recently posted and the reason am putting them here is infinitesimal. best friends to lovers and tho usually it's not my cup of tea.. it's a character study, an interpretation of klance in a modern world i dare say,, which is very similar to mine. the thing about them is that i like their characterization a lot, and in no love in this, i like what kind of background stories they give to klance in their aus. i haven't read many by them, so if u want u can check them out.

i just realized i have put some lowkey sad/fucked fics here... i did remove 5 rn... i hope its all good damn why am i doing this i feel like am putting myself naked out there when i recommend my favs