#has rwrb never won this??

[princeconsortroad]

Thank you @ninzied! 💖

henry + walking through doorways with alex, a journey

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: The Placement of Alex's Speech

Alright I’m really fucking sick of people complaining about the placement of the speech. (I swear, I write half of these essays out of irritation. But I’m happy while doing it so it all checks out)

Two things.

Regarding Henry’s consent

Use context clues people. Henry says, “Your speech was beautiful. Made me very proud to be your boyfriend.” It’s clear that Henry approves of the speech.

Again, what can be shown explicitly is restricted by the format. The point of Henry’s montages during the speech is to show how trapped and helpless he is in the situation. (for more, I wrote about it here.) The scenes need to keep that atmosphere/feeling of isolation and pain. If let’s say, we have a scene where the prime minister asks Henry about admitting and coming out, it would take away the consistent feeling of Henry’s pain. Cinematically, it won’t work. But that doesn’t mean in universe, it didn’t happen.

Also, Alex fucking loves Henry with every inch of his soul. He’s willing to fight for them, but he’s also willing to be patient for him. After getting his feelings sorted out and knowing with 100% clarity that he’s in love with Henry, he is never, ever going to do something that so obviously would hurt Henry. He would rather get hurt himself than hurt Henry. (Corresponding Book Quote: “Alex wants to go to war for this man, wants to get his hands on everything and everyone that ever hurt him.”) He wouldn’t make the speech without knowing Henry is okay with it. He just wouldn’t, that would straight up be out of character. So the fact that he did, means one way or another, he has Henry’s consent. And Henry later approving the speech in the piano scene, proves that. (It’s completely possible that the script itself meant to explain it this way, but if at any point they might have explicitly discussed coming out, my guess would be the Kensington breakfast scene, Prime, I’m coming for your hard drives—)

Regarding the placement of speech

There are two reasons for this.

One irl reason, is again, the format of the medium, and movie story telling. You want the tension to continuously build, increase and move upwards, then get a big but concrete resolution, and then this part is over. Having the speech as a conclusion after the balcony wave will not feel as well resolved as directly having the speech, then ending this part of the story with the big, big protest and balcony wave.  

But there’s a diegetic/ in universe reason as well.  

A lot of people, especially those who complain that Movie Alex is a himbo (also spite writing an essay on that, WIP, stay tuned), forget that Alex is a budding politician, and in fact, is a damn good one.

He, despite being kind of confused about his sexuality (read this essay for more), figures out Miguel’s flirting is mostly trying to get his statements for his articles, and in a fairly polite and classy way, Alex declines. (The state dinner slip was because he was way too entranced by Henry) He was a speaker at the DNC. His Texas campaign ultimately won Ellen the election.

When is comes to these things, he knows what he’s doing, and he’s good at what he does.

Making the speech before the crown can make a statement, was a strategic move.

Henry told Alex about his grandfather’s stance on this during the Paris date. He also told, well, yelled at Alex about the pressures he has from the crown during the Kensington confrontation. Alex knows the King will disapprove of their relationship and attempt to shove Henry into the closet.

So he has to be the one to control the narrative. He needs people to listen to, and believe in his, or rather, their side of the story.

And here’s a bit about human psychology. When receiving a new piece of information, our first impression and subsequent judgement of said information tends to be persistent. If we are provided with a second piece of contradicting information, we will tend to treat the second piece with much more criticism and suspicion. The mindset would be “prove to me the first one is wrong” instead of “Which one of these is right”.

Therefore, for Alex to get more people on his side, he must speak first.

(I almost imagine this is the reason the White House blocked communication with the palace. That bugged me for a while, until I thought, if the White House doesn’t block communication and receive a demand from the palace, they aren’t really on grounds to refuse it without a diplomatic mess. It’s the equivalent of avoiding talking to someone you don’t want to approach with the excuse “Oh my phone was off sorry”)

Imagine it. If the crown does what the King originally proposed and claims all the emails are fabrications and denies that Henry is gay and in a relationship with Alex, then Alex’s speech will be viewed through tinted glasses of “this is a fabrication, this is a lie” and it will take much more persuading for people to believe in Alex, because their first judgement of the issue, would be the crown’s lie of a narrative.

But by making the speech first, people’s first judgement of the issue, would be Alex’s explanation, of it being an invasion of privacy, and of it being true. Even if the crown denies it, with the first judgement being Alex’s narrative, it would make it much easier to see through the lie, because in people’s head, they already assumed that Alex is telling the truth.

By making the speech first, Alex has won both himself and Henry, the pen to write history.

Making the speech first is in no way Alex disrespecting Henry.

By playing politics and strategy, Alex is protecting Henry in the most familiar way he knows.

[rebelspykatie]

RWRB Steddie AU - Part 1

Wayne Munson who accidentally won the presidency running on a progressive working class ticket. Eddie Munson, the first son that causes international incidents without even trying. Like the time he made a crude hand gesture towards a foreign dignitary thinking he was saluting them. Or the time he connected his phone to the speakers during a dnc event and blasted Metallica through the entire arena. Or the time he knocked over a child on the lawn of the White House during the annual Easter egg hunt and had to issue an apology to a five year old for stealing their eggs. 

Wayne has reprimanded him more than he’s spoken in front of Congress. The secret service hates him, especially Hopper, who has to drag him back inside when he tries to escape down the trellis and cockblocks him from flirting with the barista at the Starbucks right outside of the White House. 

But nobody hates him more than Prince Steven. He doesn’t even understand why Steve hates him, only that their first interaction was disastrous, leaving Eddie fuming and confused. He remembers seeing Steve all over those teen magazines before Wayne had any political aspirations, his now gorgeous locks once too big for his tiny head and hazel eyes staring back at him from the glossy pages. Gareth never let him hear the end of it when he found those magazines tucked away under his bed, a collection that only grew over the years as Steve got more attractive.

The frosty reception from Steve had Eddie doubting every good thing those magazines ever said about how charming the prince could be. Sure, not a single hair was out of place on his stupid head and his polos were ironed within an inch of their lives, but his smile was fake and a bitchy retort slipped out of his mouth before Eddie could even introduce himself. 

He gave up on playing nice after that, not heeding his Uncle’s advice to stay away and not cause another international scandal while he was trying to make a deal with their prime minister. He practically begged Eddie to keep his big, dumb mouth shut.

Which is of course why The Incident happened. Eddie was a bit too drunk at a dinner for diplomats and their families. He approached Steve and started going on about the monarchy, a bit too loudly, where a very nosy reporter could hear. And that reporter wrote a scathing article about the first son not believing in tradition and how he was trying to undermine the authority of the crown, dredging up old tweets about how useless monarchies are and how Steve is handed things on a silver spoon. 

Wayne’s deal is in jeopardy, so he’s sent to smooth over international relations with the crown, which is a horrible idea considering Eddie’s track record. Staged photo ops have always made Eddie uncomfortable, but he sucks it up for Wayne. He winds up enjoying himself more than he thought possible in Steve’s presence because one of their PR stops is at a teen center where a group of kids regularly plays dnd. 

If it weren’t for a swift tug on the back of his suit from Hopper, Eddie would be standing on the table flailing around about a campaign, having already forgotten about the swath of reporters following them around on this tour. Steve doesn’t appear to know anything about dnd, but the little curly headed boy with an infectious toothy smile keeps tugging him around, talking a mile a minute while Steve fondly rolls his eyes. It’s the most relaxed Eddie has ever seen him. 

He learns that they’re both insomniacs during that trip, stumbling into the kitchen at 2am only to find Steve already there, riffling through the pantry. It’s the first time he’s ever seen Steve without the ramrod straight posture, notices the circles under his eyes and the way he’s always got a line of tension in his jaw. They come to some kind of truce in the dark of night over twin bowls of cereal. Something inside of Eddie unfurls at that, lets go of whatever weird grudge he was holding after their first interaction. 

It starts with a text. Steve sends him an article with the most ridiculous picture of Eddie, asks if he wakes up looking like that every morning. They’re teasing each other, taunting remarks about their status, realizing they have more in common than they thought. All summer, Eddie’s eyes are glued to his phone, anticipating texts from HRH (his royal hairiness), late nights dedicated to learning everything about Steve. Chrissy, the vice president’s daughter, corners him before the annual Halloween Party, forces him to invite his new friend Steve. She says it with a tone he doesn’t really understand, but it’s one that brooks no argument.

Maybe he learns all too well what Chrissy meant when it’s close to midnight and Steve pushes him against a tree outside and kisses him so thoroughly Eddie’s lost all oxygen to his brain. It changes the course of his entire life. He can’t stop thinking about it, feels the phantom taste of Steve on his tongue, but Steve isn’t answering his calls and Eddie doesn’t get a chance to corner him until a charity event almost a month later. 

They take each other apart that night, spend hours learning each other's bodies. Confessions spilled into the sheets they’re tangled in. Steve admits that his father arranged for him to be seen with Nancy Wheeler, who he has no interest in. They decide to try something casual, see each other when they can, get some much needed relief from the public eye. But Eddie’s never been the casual type, and he doesn’t think Steve is either, not after their nightly talks. He falls hard and eagerly hopes for more every time they meet up, wishing that Steve wouldn’t flee from his bed the next morning. 

Wayne’s pretty busy, running a country and all, but he eventually puts the pieces together on Eddie’s disappearances and his trips coinciding with events where Steve is present. His uncle knows him better than to think they’re just friends. Eddie never really had to come out to his Uncle, but they do have an intense talk on whether he’s ready to be perceived in that way by everyone in the world, Wayne apologizing for putting him in the spotlight. 

But Eddie feels forever about Steve. And Wayne’s presidency brought him to this man, to the love of his life, so there’s no way he could be upset about any of it.

If only Steve felt forever about him.

Part 2

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Espresso Martini for whatever rwrb ship strikes your fancy!

ok so i got a lot of espresso martini requests i just so happens i have one that will fit with this and not the other 2 so here we go

@duchessdepolignaca03 requested

---- so what we have here is firstprince but alex and philip meeting up

Alex is uncertain about this whole meeting, but he knows that Phillip has been trying, and Henry and Bea are both hopeful for some semblance of the relationship they used to have. So, here he is, about to enter the pub Philip picked out. He takes a deep breath, puts on his best not-quite-press smile, and walks through the door. He looks around the room and sees Philip sitting at a table at the back of the room. Alex walks towards him and watches as Philip turns his phone off and slips it to the side of the table.

He stops at the edge of the table, and Philip smiles up at him, “Alex, thanks for coming,” he gestures to the bench across from him. Alex sits down, and Philip slides the espresso martini across to him; it’s still cold, so it was recently ordered. Alex raises his eyebrow, and Philip shrugs, “Henry wouldn’t shut up for months about your love for coffee, so I figured this was a safe bet. The barkeep definitely laughed at me for ordering it, so please tell me you’ll drink it.”

Alex looks down at the drink in front of him, “Yeah, sure, I like a good espresso martini. Hopefully, y’all know how to make them here.”

“I’ve never had a bad drink here.”

The silence between them is awkward. Alex knows he should say something; he knows that Philip is owed an explanation, but he’s unsure how to start. He’s saved from having to say anything when Philip speaks.

“Alex … I suppose I would have ordered the espresso martini anyway; I remember your fascination with coffee without Henry having to bring it up every time I was at breakfast with him. Does he know?”

“That I’m here right now? That once upon a time, I considered you a friend? Yes, he also knows that, although he’s not sure how that could be. I guess I got lucky. I knew you when your Gran was just starting to get her claws so deep into you.”

“I’m sure it also helped that you met me after you met Henry at the Olympics, and what did you call him a pompous dick or something like that? So, of course, you expected me to be horrible, so it wasn’t a high bar to be better than you expected.” Philip raises his eyebrow in the same way that Alex thought was utterly annoying the first time they met, at some party after his mother won the election. He still finds it annoying, but it’s almost funny how it’s the least irritating thing about the man Philip became.

“Yeah, your brother definitely helped you out in that regard. Although maybe I just have a weakness for Fox men, your father was undeniably hot, and both you and Henry have some features in common with him. Although, I guess it’s probably good I didn’t have my bi-awakening with you. Martha would be even more unhappy with me.” Alex chuckles as he takes a drink of the martini at the appalled look on Philip’s face.

“Yeah, though, to be fair, she was trying to tell me there was something between the two of you back then. I didn’t want to hear it. I guess I assumed that even if we weren’t necessarily as close as we had been for a while there, you would have told me. Although it is pretty par for the course for you not to have known it yourself.” Philip shakes his head as if he can’t believe it and Alex takes another drink to avoid laughing. “Do I want to even know how you figured it out?”

“Well, you remember how Henry and Pez came to our New Year’s Eve party?” Philip nods, and Alex continues, “Well, Henry kissed me, and I found myself kissing him back. And then he ran back here and wouldn’t talk to me.”

“Wait, wasn’t he your guest at that dinner with the Prime Minister not long after that?” Philip looks as if he’s attempting to figure something out but is unsure if he really wants the answer.

Alex smirks and says, “Yes, he was,” with every bit of filthy implication he can pack into the three words.

“Ugh. I do not need to know what you are implying right now.”

Alex laughs and sees some heads turn their way out of the corner of his eye. “Well, I’m sure you were taught, with all your fancy education, not to ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”

“Well, I guess it does prove that I could have never been your bi-awakening, no matter how much you think I share any amount of looks with him or my father. I forgot you had a thing for Dad’s Bond movies; how does Henry take that?”

Alex chuckles, remembering the first time he had brought up how hot Arthur Fox was to Henry. “Well, better now than he used to. We actually watch them sometimes, which I think helps him feel a little bit closer; sometimes, I can get him to tell me stories about some of the ones he was on set for at some point during filming.”

They continue talking, and before Alex knows it, he’s on his third martini. It feels almost like he’s there with the Philip he knew a few years ago. He knows it will take a while, but he’s willing to help the Fox siblings work their stuff out; he knows Henry really wants it.

They’re leaving the bar, and before Philip turns to head toward his car, Alex says, “He loves you, ya know.” At Philip’s confused look, he says, “Henry, he loves you, so maybe figure your shit out so he can have his brother.” He turns and heads toward the car, waiting for him before Philip can answer, anxious to return to Henry.

[biconicfinn]

“The only reason I haven’t done that is because they asked me not to.” for rwrb?

anon, i am so sorry this took forever, i swear i had the most cliche ao3 author's note type of life bullshit happen so i'm so sorry this is late but i hope the length makes up for it!

Alex watches as Henry paces his study in their brownstone, his even-spaced steps quick with the same agitation that furrows his brow and forms that pinch in the corner of his mouth. Alex longs to reach over and kiss and touch and hold him until his steps halt and forehead smoothes out, wants to kiss that corner of his boyfriend's mouth until it no longer pinches and even more after to soothe the ache it will leave behind.

However, seeing as how he is currently on a conference call with Philip and the old white men assholes associated with the Crown, he stays where he is, curled up with a napping David in the plush armchair that has quickly become Henry's second favourite reading spot in their home. 

Alex's heart pangs in his chest where he can see the slump of Henry's shoulders as he argues back and forth with everyone trying to get him to attend more pointless events for the Crown–well, the various monarchists of the palace are arguing that actually Henry must absolutely attend whatever gala dinners and fundraiser events have been deemed appropriate for him to attend, and his suggestions to get out of them have been constantly shut down. 

First, he argued that instead of paying whatever insane amount of money to cover costs for gala tickets, security, travel, styling, etc., that sum could just be donated to the charities of choice on top of the initially agreed-upon donation.

It was shot down with claims that the Crown would appear aloof and impersonal; like they were just throwing money at the charities without a thought. Henry argued that they were in fact giving even more by cutting costs and anyway it's not like the actual beneficiaries whom Henry would love to meet would actually be present at these events anyway. However the Crown's image is paramount was a refrain parroted back through the phone speakers in a Received Pronunciation accent so often it would probably feature in Alex's nightmares.

Then Henry brought up how the optics of him constantly flying back and forth over the Atlantic would look like regarding his relationships with both his family and his boyfriend (Alex will never tire of hearing people refer to him as Henry's, especially by the man himself). Alex could not lie and say a little thrill did not run through him at Henry turning the Crown's usual arguments of protecting their reputation on them, grinning at the way Henry's eyes shine with hope and the sliver of a triumphant smile that graces his lips as their eyes meet. Alex clasps his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from bursting out laughing.

Their momentary glee is dashed however when it is brought up that they can simply spin the story as Henry balancing personal with his work and public life–even royals have to strike a balance! The hope and spark and smile drains right out of Henry, and Alex watches as his boyfriend practically deflate with his (their) dashed hopes. There's some snide remarks about how Henry should be residing mainly in London anyway, and then Philip mentions how he can't let his dalliance with The AmericanTM (and yes, Alex can hear the capitalisation and trademark in those voices). At that very remark, which at this point in his life rolls off of Alex's back like water, the lines of Henry's body go rigid and he stands up straight, shoulders back, chin tipped-up in proud defiance and the same bravery that stood up to Queen Mary and won, he takes a breath and Alex settles in with so much fucking fondness and pride and love to see his Henry stand his ground—and for it to be while swooping in to defend his honour? well, Alex has now revised their Wednesday evening date night plans to include a request for Henry to take that Prince Charming royal authority into bed later, or maybe after this call, depending on the outcome of this Philip-induced hell.

"I must be mishearing things over the trans-continental phone call, but I hope Philip that you weren't implying that my relationship with Alex, and yes I would like to remind everyone that he does have a name, is something temporary. We have just moved to the same city together and we are planning on living together soon."

"Now Henry,—"

"I would also like to remind everyone that I am not here in New York on an extended holiday, but am in fact working with Percy to set up the first of our shelters for queer youth. An undertaking that is not only a joint effort on part of both the Henry Foundation and the Okonjo Foundation to provide a much needed service to a terribly disadvantaged community, a community that I myself am part of, but the news of which has dramatically helped to improve the esteem of The Firm in the public eye."

"Well I would like to remind you, Henry, that the previously-lowered esteem of the Crown in the public eye was due in no small part to your own actions."

"My actions? You mean my deeply personal and intimate private correspondence with my partner? The same correspondence which was cruelly and callously leaked for public consumption? To be picked apart and analysed and plastered across the media for everyone and their mothers to read? As if I asked or wanted any of it?"

"Henry—"

"Is it so wrong of me to want to slow down a little? To keep my head down and do my work and live my life with as little of a public presence as I can manage it for now? To want to have some infinitesimal shred of normalcy and calm? And to spend some time away from the awful slander of the tabloids?"

"Well then why don't you just abdicate! You had no qualms about waving that threat about in Buckingham in front of the Queen herself? Why not follow through? Or is it just some empty threat because try as you might to hide it, Henry, you actually can't stand the thought of being separate from us and everything we have given you; everything you have gained from just being the spare! Are you attempting to spare our family's feelings? Or are you simply waiting for that boy of yours to give you the go ahead to petition parliament, hmm? Or perhaps Mother and Beatrice are pulling your strings?"

"Enough! For your information Philip, I have thought about abdicating, considered giving it all up for years now and no one else has ever put that thought in my head. in fact, the only reason I haven’t done that is because they asked me not to!"

Alex gasped softly, rising from his seat to stand next to Henry, gently hovering a hand above his love’s now shaking hands, waiting for Henry to seek his comfort when he’s ready. The sight of Henry’s anger flushed face and trembling hands makes Alex’s own temper rise and he wants more than anything to scream at Phillip, cut the phone off and then drag Henry and David into a cuddle pile in bed until the world forgets them. 

But he can’t risk making the situation worse so he, at Henry’s tiny nod, does what he can and holds his boyfriend’s hand through the storm. 

“The only reason I have not already petitioned parliament and informed the Queen of my intention to abdicate is because of Alex and Bea and Mum, Phillip. They told me to wait a little while to let the dust settle from everything that’s happened and wanted me to just live a little as an out member of the royal family. I wanted to say to hell with everything and let it all go, but they convinced me to stay, to see how things would be, to try and make life work. Alex is the one who told me to not let my emotions from being outed in such a traumatic way and yes trauma is the only word to describe the impact, to let myself process and recover and learn to live with everything before I made such a decision. We agreed to give it a few years and then I would evaluate again and that is what I have been working towards. I have been focusing on healing, on repairing my bond with Mum, on learning to deal with the ridiculous media scrutiny, on learning how to live together with my boyfriend, on setting up the queer youth shelters with Pez, I even wanted to work on repairing my relationship with you Phillip but it seems clear to me now that not only do you not hold any respect for my partner and our relationship nor my wishes to step back from royal duties for a while to adjust to my new life, you clearly do not value or respect our bond as brothers and how before you were Mary Mountchristen-Windsor’s grandson, you were the son of Arthur and Catherine Fox, my older brother, and I was not your subject to lord over but someone who would support and love you in the same measure you showed me. It is clear to me now that whatever rifts have formed between us are not things you wish to bridge. And I will not stand to be treated like this when you are only concerned with the standing and image of the crown and not the happiness and wellbeing of your own family. Only contact me if you have decided to change that but otherwise, goodbye.”

The call is swiftly ended and as Henry angrily jabs at the red button over Phillip’s spluttering and the advisors’ shocked silence, Alex throws himself into Henry’s arms and wraps himself around him, and Henry folds himself tightly over Alex, as the latter drags him over to curl up in the comfy armchair he previously sat in. A long since awoken David settles at their feet, nuzzling into shins and ankles to comfort his dads. 

Alex just hums as he rubs a warm palm over Henry’s back, tender touches of his lips ghosting over Henry’s cheek and temple, waiting for Henry to match his breathing with the movement of his hand, for his heart to stop racing and slow down to the pace of his own, once again in sync. And though the words are clawing at his throat and tongue and teeth to be set free, he chokes them back in favour of humming half remembered songs from his dad’s record collection, fairly certain he’s creating some butchered mashup of Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. 

They sit together like that for a moment, quiet in the Brooklyn afternoon save for David’s quiet snuffles and Alex’s humming and Henry’s deep breaths. Alex waits, patient in the way he only ever is for Henry, for his love’s breathing to ease for the thudding heartbeat he can feel racing in his chest to slow and steady, for Henry to find the ability to speak the words he gasps in a panic. And with the soothing sound of his boyfriend’s humming, the steady movements of his hand up and down his back, and of course, the warm weight of his beloved dog curled up at his feet, henry calms down slightly, the vice grip of panic easing from around his throat his head his heart. 

“Love, thank–“

“You better not be trying to thank me for being a good fuckin’ boyfriend and helping you come down from the edge of a panic attack, Wales, I swear to fuckin’ God!” cries Alex as he pulls himself away from where he’s wrapped around Henry to look him right in the eyes, dark brown eyes ablaze with love and righteous anger Henry knows isn’t directed at him, not really. 

Henry huffs a laugh against Alex’s forehead where he presses a kiss filled with unspoken gratitude. A kiss that eases the furrows and creases of Alex’s emotions, and Henry bites back a fond snicker as Alex melts a little in his arms at the press of lips to his skin. “Of course not love, I only meant to thank you for being such a wonderful human weighted blanket,” Henry’s tone is light and playful but those blue eyes betray a sincerity that steals Alex’s breath, “but in all seriousness, thank you so much darling, for being there for me through all the bullshit the Crown throws at me, for calming me down when it gets to much, for letting me just…be. I wish it got easier to fight back against their horridness, and I am so very sorry you have had to hear the absolutely ghastly things they say about you, about us,” Alex glares at him, “and yes about me too. It’s usually easier for me to stand up to them, especially after what happened with Gran, but I just, I just lost it when Philip said that you and Bea and Mum were manipulating me to not abdicate, as if you’re some power hungry, social climbing, gold-digger! As if you three weren’t the ones who convinced me after everything calmed down to give staying as an out gay Prince a chance, to see how I felt about living this life I never thought I could have! You three, and of course, Pez, who I suspect would be thrilled if I hung it all up tomorrow, have been so damned supportive, encouraging, and loving that I really wanted to give this a chance, to let myself find my footing a little. And for that, I am endlessly grateful. Endlessly, my love.” 

Alex can’t help but lean forward to kiss Henry at that, attempting to pour every ounce of love and affection and admiration he has for him into the kiss, losing himself in the press of lips that always makes his heart flutter and flip and drives all rational thought from his head. Henry kisses him back with his usual passion and love, like it’s a fucking Olympic sport, and they both let themselves just exist in this for a moment, let arms hold each other close, let fingers tangle into dark curls and blond strands, let bodies press close and limbs tangle. 

As they break apart for air (sadly breathing is necessary for living and one cannot survive on kisses alone), they rest their foreheads together, just letting themselves breath the same oxygen for a minute, not yet ready to part from one another. 

“So what do you need now baby? Still up for our date night out? Or do you just wanna have a night in? I could teach you how to make that mac and cheese you liked the last time I made it, and I mean the real Texas shit, none of this ‘elevated’ crap. Or if you don’t feel up to that we can get take out, your pick. I’m gonna follow your lead on this so you just say the word and that’s the plan for tonight,” Alex holds Henry’s face in his hands and gently rubbing thumbs on his cheeks as he looks Henry straight in the eyes as he talks.

“As tempting as it is to have you teach me some new culinary skills, I have to admit that I’ve missed our date nights out, and I really do want to see you in that new outfit you picked out and have been really poorly hiding from me. I want to dress up nice with you, head to that French bistro we have reservations at and wine and dine you, and just hold your hand and show off to the whole world that we’re together and happy and in love. Maybe we could even go out dancing afterward! So what if we make front page headlines of the tabloids tomorrow morning? Maybe one more viral moment is what it takes to prove to Philip and all those utter arseholes in the Palace that yes I’m serious about you and no, that isn’t changing anytime soon,” Henry resolves, reaching to press a tender and sweet kiss to Alex’s knuckles on one hand, while the other squeezes just a little where it’s wrapped on Alex’s waist. 

“Mmm I do love being part of a plan to spite dusty bigoted white men. And I am not even being a little bit sarcastic! Also, dancing? Is that really my Hen who’s open and ready to head to the club? So if I said we find the biggest loudest gay club in the city and danced the night away you’d be fine with that?” Alex laughs, tone teasing.

“Alright, maybe I got a little excited with the sticking it to the Crown of it all, but truly, one day I would love to go out with you to the clubs properly, I know we usually go with the rest of our friends but I can’t lie that the thought of having you all to myself with your frankly, illegal dance moves isn’t tempting at all,” Henry teases back, raising a playful eyebrow at Alex, who preens in acknowledgement of his superior dance prowess.

“We’ll save that for another night, I have plans for us tonight, because while my outfit may have been spoiled, I think I still have a couple of other tricks up my sleeve that would work,” Alex playfully nips at Henry’s jaw, light enough there’s no marks but with the promise of teeth that sends shivers down his boyfriend’s spine.

“Oh? And would those tricks involve anything from our little chest at the foot of our bed?” Henry counters archly.

Alex snorts with playful derision, “First if all, ain’t nothin’ about that chest little, so jot that down. Second of all, if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?”

Henry’s voice drops low in the way that always thrills Alex, never failing to make him putty in his love’s hands, “And if I didn’t want to be at your tender mercies tonight? If I wanted to take the reins as it were?”

“Well then thqt would just mean you and I are thinking along the same lines, Wales,” Alex smirks, fluttering his lashes at Henry ever so slightly to make his breath hitch.

At that, Henry can do nothing else but pull Alex in for another kiss, content to let his hands roam as he gasps out, “Christ love, those eyelashes of yours are as lethal as ever” in between heated kisses and teases of tongue and teeth. As Alex moans into Henry’s mouth and reaches to tug at the hem of his shirt, they’re interrupted by David huffing loudly as he gets up from where he was curled around Henry’s ankles and feet to leave the study, which makes the two tangled-up men on the couch fall into helpless laughter at the sight.

“Nooooo our poor baby David has been scarred for life and now he’s left us!”

“Darling, I think it’s more likely poor Davey is fed up with us and has decided to let us know how unimpressed he is with our behaviour.”

“He’s so judgemental; definitely our son, I’m so proud.”

“Right well, I’m going to go take him out for a bit and maybe give him a little treat to apologise, and you can go finish that memo you wanted to send Zahra before we get ready for dinner.”

“Will you please–“

“Set an alarm so you know when to go get ready in case you hyperfixate? Of course love, don’t worry I’ll make sure to remind you”

“God I love you so much”

“I love you too. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go convince our son that we still love him.”

[revjohno]

RWRB: The Movie

Even before RWRB started climbing the bestseller lists back in 2019, the word was out: this one is going to be big! So Hollywood studios immediately began clamoring for movie rights, which Amazon Prime won in a sealed-bid auction. We fans then filled the internet with suggested cast lists—I was going to say, “none of which even came close to naming the actors eventually chosen, especially the principal leads.” But then a friend reminded me that he had actually suggested Rachel Hilson as Nora from the start, and (don’t read this next bit, Nick and Taylor), “I also had some great suggestions for Alex and Henry, which would have been perfect if they had gone for younger actors closer to the ages the novel specifies.” I sit corrected.

Meanwhile, we settled in to wait for an announcement that the movie was starting production, with a fervor unmatched by even the most rabid fans of the Left Behind series looking for the Second Coming. And we waited … and we waited … and we waited. First-time director Matthew Lopez, a Tony award-winning playwright who also wrote most of the script, seemed to be taking his sweet old time casting the film (though I suspect that once Nicholas Galitzine threw his hat into the ring to play Henry, no one else was even considered). And there matters sat. It didn’t take quite as long to start filming as Jesus has taken to return, but at times, it sure felt like it.

Then, with a rustling of angels’ wings and a blast from golden trumpets, the announcement came: the film had been completely cast and shooting was about to begin! Aside from the two leads, Matthew gave few particulars about who was playing whom, and almost no candid shots of scenes being filmed showed up on the web. There was a bit of flack when Rachel Hilson was announced as Nora, because of the book’s only Jewish character becoming Black. And when Queen Elizabeth II happened to die three weeks after principal shooting ended, people began speculating about the possibility of Matthew being psychic, since he had chosen to replace the novel’s Queen Mary with King James III. Obviously, it didn’t take Madame Cleo to predict that a 96-year-old lady might not survive much longer and that a male monarch would occupy the throne by the time of the movie’s premiere. But in the midst of all the mystery surrounding the film, we needed to talk about something.

Then shortly after shooting wrapped, Nicholas Galitzine was asked how faithful the movie was going to be to the novel. Somewhat nervously, I imagine (he later confessed in an interview with GQ that he never actually finished reading it, so no doubt he was a bit hazy about details), he cautioned us not to expect a carbon copy of the novel, but instead to treat the two as “entirely separate.” He then added, “I just hope that people will think of this as a fun movie.”

Sorry, Nick. RWRB is not a fun movie. Yes, like the novel, it is funny in spots (and Matthew’s script, which I felt actually improved on some of CMQ’s lines, is also remarkably faithful to the original in its general outline and inclusion of certain iconic scenes—far more than most movie adaptations). But the film is mainly concerned with serious issues, and aside from occasional lapses into preachiness, it treats these issues with sincerity, tenderness, and genuine feeling. And this is in no small part due to the performance of Nicholas Galitzine himself.

I find Nick Galitzine to be one of the most amazingly attractive human beings I have ever seen. It’s not just because of his handsome face; my admiration springs from his obvious innate decency, his endearingly goofy sense of humor, and his undeniable talent. There was no need for him to admit that he never finished the book—it’s not like we could have checked—but when asked, he told the truth, because he is an honest man. When the writer from GQ whispered that some other diners at the restaurant where they were meeting were getting irritated because Nick was being too noisy, he immediately got up on his crutches (he had chipped a bone in his ankle in an accident on the set of his latest project, Mary and George) and tottered over to apologize, an all-too rare example of consideration and good manners in this post-Trump world. When teased about his habit of calling everyone “mate” and hailing them as if they were long-lost BFF’s, Nick replied with a laugh, “Everyone is my friend—I’m just very excited to see them! I’m very enthusiastic!” I’m sure that truer words were never spoken.

Though Henry was easy to cast, the hunt for Alex took rather longer, because Matthew was searching for someone who demonstrated just the right chemistry with Nick. Then a thirty-year-old actor named Taylor Zakhar Perez put himself forward (too old, I would have thought, to play the 21-year-ol Alex; plus, at 6’2”, he was actually two inches taller than Nick, and CMQ had made a major plot point out of Henry’s superior height). But when Nick and Taylor first met, Matthew was called away for a few minutes, and he came back to find them talking nineteen to the dozen like they were old friends. At that moment, Matthew knew he had found his Alex. The possible objections were easily dealt with (Alex is no longer a college senior, but instead is now in law school, so he could easily be in his mid-twenties; and clever camera angles make Nick look taller. The script also creates a running joke out of Alex continually insisting that Henry cannot possibly be 6’2” as his fact sheet claims; and when they’re standing side-by side, Henry accuses Alex of wearing lifts.  Alex’s look of confused dismay makes us actually wonder). They are perfectly matched, and the result is screen magic.

I found Taylor to be a complete revelation. His last movie had been a quickly-forgotten (luckily for him) bomb called One Up, in which Taylor’s lines were mostly restricted to comments like, “No, girls can’t join our team! Girls can never compete with men in the field of …” (wait for it) “competitive gaming!” Huh? We’re not talking about professional wrestling or weight-lifting—we’re talking about computer games. Moreover, countless studies have shown that women’s reflexes are quicker than men’s, their brains are proportionately larger, and that men’s only real superiority is upper body strength. I thought that such ignorant sexism as Taylor’s character in One Up conveys was a thing of the past, but in a world where women can lose the right to control their own bodies at the stroke of a pen, maybe not.

Though Taylor has never before played so major a part (that I’m aware of), he acquits himself admirably here. From the moment Alex tries to persuade Nora to ditch the reception and “go do touristy things,” the role of Alex is obviously in just the right hands. As it turns out, Nora might have done well to accept Alex’s suggestion, because he gets drunk at the reception and manages to create an international incident. And I must say, I very much enjoyed Henry and Alex’s interaction at the reception. Not only was I finally able to visualize the exact sequence of events leading to the disaster with the cake; I loved Henry’s fury at Alex’s dismissal of the proper use of titles (more about this below). It may make Henry look like a snobbish prig (which is certainly how Alex sees him), but Henry doesn’t care what Alex thinks. It also shows just how far Alex can goad him. For a royal, displaying such fury is even worse than making a scene, because royals are supposed to smother their feelings and appear cool, calm, and collected, no matter how trying the circumstances. Alex may be the first person who has ever been so lippy with Henry, and he really gets under Henry’s skin by doing so. (Which he will later do in a much more literal manner ….)

Which leads me to the BIG question we all wondered about: did Nick and Taylor’s offscreen friendship translate into SIZZLING sex onscreen? Well—no. And that’s fine by me. Any time I want to watch porn, there are any number of sites I could visit (or—ahem—so they tell me). Instead, these sex scenes give us poetry—aching, tender, romantic, and beautiful, allowing us the chance to peek into the depth of the characters’ intimacy, something made possible only by the actors’ consummate artistry. (Sorry—I couldn’t resist that one.)

Their first sexual interaction happens at the New Year’s Eve party, where they spend the entire evening talking and laughing together in a way that completely excludes everyone else. But then while everyone is sharing kisses at midnight (and several beautiful women make a beeline for Alex), Alex notices the (unkissed) Henry staring at him, heartbreak writ large on his face. Henry grabs a magnum of champagne and disappears, so Alex tracks him into the frozen Rose Garden. Critics have commented that this scene is detectably CGI, but come on, people—the movie was filmed during the summer, and it’s not like they were going to fly cast and crew to South America for a true wintry landscape. Besides, the actors’ talent made them look cold, which more than met the needs of the scene.

The ensuing kiss is straight out of CMQ, and I thought Alex’s reaction to Henry’s grab-and-smooch is particularly good. At first he seems startled (though not shocked), but then he plainly starts getting into it. It is Henry who breaks away, with a look of shock and terror as he realizes what he has just done. Without a single word, Nick is able to show us exactly what Henry must be thinking: Oh, my God! I let the mask slip—again! How does this bloke always make me do exactly what I was brought up not to do—expose myself by showing my real feelings? Christ! I need to get out of here!

Now it’s up to Taylor to show Alex’s reaction to the incident. In the movie, he seems not to feel much more than mild surprise, and a vague curiosity about whether Henry might be gay. But in the book, Alex goes into full-on gay crisis mode because of his body’s immediate reaction, and he develops even more of an all-consuming obsession with Henry. CMQ devotes twenty pages to this issue, one which all LGBT’s must eventually face (and twenty pages is actually getting off easy—in my case, accepting my bisexuality took decades). But since the movie’s Alex readily acknowledges his male lovers, enjoying Henry’s kiss isn’t an issue for him at all. The only complication he now faces is coming out to his parents, though I’m sure they figured out that their son was bisexual long ago.

Then comes the White House dinner and the Red Room scene, after which Alex orders Henry to “come to my room at midnight, where I am going to do very bad things to you.” My aforementioned friend (the one with the cast list) points out that Henry unbuttons Alex’s shirt and begins kissing down his chest and stomach, and Alex leans back with a look of gratified pleasure, but then at the end of the scene, Henry is still fully dressed. (Didn’t Alex reciprocate?) Henry then invites Alex to a polo match back in the UK, at which we see the guys kissing and Alex pushing Henry onto his back and reaching down to remove Henry’s belt, and … that’s as graphic as it gets. Matthew rightly protested the movie’s “R” rating, since aside from a couple of f-bombs and a brief shot of Taylor’s bare backside, that’s it. An “R” rating? I suspect that it’s studio nervousness about a potential homophobic reaction, and if the execs are that squeamish, why did they buy the movie rights in the first place?

The final sex scene is extremely well done. Henry begins by telling Alex that he wants to make love to him, to which Alex uncomfortably replies, “Make love? Who says that anymore?” Well, maybe Henry didn’t want to scare you off,  Alex, by using the same words as he does in the book: “Please—I need you to fuck me.” But obviously, Alex intuits that this is exactly what Henry wants, because Alex says nervously, “Um—I’ve never—” to which Henry smiles and says, “Don’t worry—I went to an English boys’ boarding school,” which is a far more likely scenario for Henry to have been initiated into gay sex than a virginal 17-year-old Henry being seduced by one of his older brother’s friends.

The two lovers gaze at each other, and then they gently, almost reverently, begin to touch. It made me think of times at night when my wife and I are in bed, and I look at her asleep on the next pillow, and I touch her in exactly this way. My heart feels like it will burst, and wonder floods me as I realize that this woman, whom I have loved for all these years, actually loves me back. Can the human heart ever experience anything more wonderful than such a realization? The same knowledge shines out of the men’s eyes in this scene—I love him, and he loves me. Then the touching becomes more intense, and as the scene progresses, without a single word or sound, Nick conveys the exact moment when Taylor seemingly enters him, and precisely when the pain of initial penetration tips over into pleasure. I’ll say it again: this guy is amazing. Ever since I first started watching Nick’s movies, I have said that he can communicate more in ten seconds of silence than other actors can manage in a two-page monologue, and that is exactly what he does here. (And he still has no acting awards? I mean, really?)

Alex acknowledges to himself that making love is exactly what he has been doing with Henry all along, but by trying to share this realization he only succeeds in scaring Henry off. Henry begins deflecting every time Alex brings up their future together, a future which Henry believes to be impossible. Alex tells him, “I want to see you at a barbecue stand with sauce smeared all over your mouth, so I can lick it off,” to which Henry replies, “Don’t they have napkins in Texas?” Alex begins talking about spending time together after the election, when “we can be naked all day, and walk down the street holding hands” (presumably after they’ve put some clothes on). I loved watching Taylor’s face as he nervously suggests their eventually going public, and tries to make his declaration of love. And (as always), Nick perfectly conveys Henry’s troubled emotions, as Henry cuts Alex off by jumping into the lake. The fear on Henry’s face as he submerges himself in the water is a perfect visual metaphor for the doubts and terrors in which he is drowning.

And make no mistake—these fears are well-grounded, and very real. Henry was born into a world where nothing matters more than hierarchy and the strict rules which govern it—thus his insistence that Alex address him correctly as “Your Royal Highness” rather than “Your Majesty,” a title reserved the monarch alone. Priggish? Pretentious? Maybe—but take away the outward forms which maintain this artificial world, and who is Henry? And if Henry insists on being himself and steps outside the royal system, the punishment will be both immediate and severe.

Prince Harry and his wife were still newlyweds expecting their first baby while CMQ was writing the novel. No one could have predicted that the devil’s bargain between the Palace and the media (which always demands a villainous royal to skewer before they publish praise about a more important one) would lead to the vicious unpopularity Meghan Markle currently suffers. The written abuse heaped upon her (greatly assisted by social media) became so severe that she firmly believes it led directly to the loss of their second child. So they felt they had to flee the country if they were going to save their marriage and their family.

But as Prince Harry describes in his memoir, Spare, they soon discovered that for doing so, within twenty-four hours of their arrival in this hemisphere, his funds were cut off and they were officially evicted from both their royal residences. The very next morning, his security detail was taken away, leaving them homeless and unprotected in a world of crazy stalkers (from whom Meghan had been receiving death threats) and intrusive paparazzi. Harry also found that a private security firm would cost him roughly six million dollars a year, which would soon eat up every penny his mother had left him. Fortunately for Harry and Meghan, friends stepped into the breach to help them, but except for a very few, his family has turned on him with silent fury and stony faces ever since. Even Prince Andrew, convicted of molesting an underage female and who must register as a sex offender anywhere he goes for the rest of his life, got more generous treatment than this. All Harry did was put his love for his wife and children above royal duty, but for doing so he has been cast into the outer darkness. And for the sin of claiming his own right to fall in love with a brown-skinned American, Henry knows he would suffer the same fate.

But RWRB is a fairy tale, so of course everything works out fine in the end. The election which Alex’s forced outing has put into doubt ends with Ellen’s victory due to a strategy devised by Alex himself. Despite intense pressure from the royal family, Henry insists on staying with Alex and acknowledging their true feelings for each other, and the entire world rallies around them. It is a triumph for love and tolerance over “the stifling suffocation of heteronormative conformity.” (I wish I didn’t have to put that line into quotation marks, but no one who knows me would ever believe that I had come up with such an erudite and well-turned phrase on my own.)

I enjoyed the film immensely. I thought the actors were top-drawer, as was Matthew’s adaptation and direction. So what didn’t I like? The watering-down of the certain characters for one, but above all, the elimination of others, especially Alex’s sister June. Please bear with me, though, because I think I have a glimmer of understanding as to why Matthew might have done this. And with his love for the book, I am sure that he did not arrive at his decisions lightly.

Let’s start with the character of Nora. In the book, she is someone “with a computer for a brain” who adopts the online persona of “a depressed lesbian poet who meets a hot yoga instructor in a speakeasy and is now marketing her own line of hand thrown fruit bowls.” But in the film, she becomes little more than a walk-on, and her brilliant, prickly presence gets watered down into a warm and loving sister surrogate (necessary since June got axed—why include June when Nora can function for both?).  Now that Nora is Alex’s supportive older sister, obviously there’s no hint of their past relationship from the book, in which “they just had to fuck to get it out of the way.” And without June, there’s also no need for a lesbian subplot. In the process, almost all of Nora’s spunkiness gets lost, and once the reception scene and the discussion with Alex about Henry’s New Year’s Eve kiss are over, she has nothing much to do but smile from the sidelines as she pairs up with Pez (who is also reduced to almost nothing—Henry’s incredibly wealthy, highly amusing and sexually ambiguous best friend barely has two lines). By reducing these characters, the movie loses the interest they both bring (Nora in particular).

This sort of character reduction is not limited to Nora and Pez. Many remaining characters get sanitized as well, if not entirely deleted. The abrasive Zahra who threatens to “staple Alex’s dick to his leg if it’ll keep it in his pants” morphs into a wisecracker who serves the essential function of calling Alex to account and dealing out the discipline he so obviously requires, but who always remains a friend. She thereby becomes much more likable—I loved the original character, but I used to wonder how someone so rude could have made it so far in politics—but in the process she becomes much more bland, and we lose most of her salty, prickly humor.

The salty-tongued Ellen, who sometimes uses her children as props and who ruthlessly cuts Alex loose when he threatens to become a campaign liability, gentles down into mere exasperated bossiness when dealing with her only child, and in the process becomes a fairly minor character. She shows none of the grit and determination that would have led her from her mother’s bar all the way to the White House. She is also still married to Alex’s father, Oscar Diaz, who has morphed from an important California senator into an undistinguished Congressman whose speeches everyone (but Alex) ignores. With Oscar and Ellen still together, the character of June loses one more necessary function: supporting and protecting Alex in the wake of their parents’ divorce, as well as her habit of challenging him for the behavior she believes may be fallout from Alex’s still-conflicting loyalties to his warring parents. But in the movie, the only hint of conflict between Mom and Dad is Oscar asking his son not to tell his mother that Oscar has been smoking out on the Truman Balcony.

And then there’s Rafael Luna. His abrasive, mentoring character gets deleted entirely, and his seeming betrayal (which causes Alex such agonized soul-searching) gets replaced with actual betrayal by a shifty investigative reporter. Luna goes undercover to expose a sexual predator and to prevent such a person from entering the White House (if only there had been this sort of double agent on the Trump campaign!). But in the movie, the guys get outed because a reporter named Miguel, a former lover of Alex’s, becomes jealous when Henry and Alex go off together at the DNC. I loved the cameo by Joy Reid (as I also loved the cameos by Rachel Maddow—and Matthew, while you were at it, why didn’t you also get Steve Kornacki?) as she pushes the reporter to explain why he had done such an underhanded thing. With all the hypocrisy and smug sanctimoniousness typical of his breed, the reporter gives a BS answer about “the public’s right, and need, to know such things about the people they elect,” which Joy immediately challenges by pointing out that (a) Alex has not been elected to anything, and (b) he has a perfect right to keep his private life just that—private.

So why did Matthew make all these changes? I think it may be for one simple reason: anyone adapting a novel for the screen must first identify the elements that made the original so popular, and, since we’re talking Hollywood, those which are also the most marketable. Every word must somehow advance the main storyline, and all subplots that distract from it must be ruthlessly eliminated. Multiple characters get condensed into one who can represent them all. There has to be a conflict engineered by the villain of the piece, but the elaborate undercover plot organized by the Richards campaign would have taken too much screen time. So it gets replaced by one which might be summarized in ten words: “Hell hath no fury like that of a lover scorned.” Of course, in a romcom, the screenplay must finally lead to a happy ending, and here we get two: in England, the lovers wave to an adoring public from the Buckingham Palace balcony; and in the US, Ellen finds out that she’s been reelected even as she and Zahra are composing her concession speech. Then Ellen, Oscar, Alex, and Henry wave at adoring supporters cheering Ellen’s victory.

RWRB the novel is only marginally a romcom; it is really a coming-of-age story, its message one of self-acceptance through self-awareness. This is what makes it so wildly popular among the YA audience at whom it is aimed, since adolescence is the time when the struggle to know and acknowledge who we really are is the most difficult. Just before the election, Nora tells Alex that he has no reason to be afraid of people’s reactions to his bisexuality; all he has to do to cement his popularity is to “Be Alex.” It’s good advice for all of us: difficult though it often is, our only real path to a full and productive life is by knowing and accepting ourselves as we are. And as a wise woman once told me, being yourself is a lot easier than being anyone else.

But self-acceptance is a particularly thorny issue for LGBT’s, even if our mothers are liberal Democrats like Ellen Claremont and our fathers are “patron saints of unisex bathrooms” like Oscar Diaz. As members of the culture into which we are born, from our very first awareness we know that there is something different about us. Something which our society teaches us is loathsome and contemptible, and which will inevitably lead to our eternal damnation. This is a pretty tough concept to handle, and we’re forced to confront it even before we enter preschool. But it’s not an issue the movie chooses to address: instead, it focuses on almost exclusively the developing romance between the two principals. This shoves the film’s entire weight onto Nick and Taylor, but fortunately these young men both have broad shoulders, and their talent is more than able to carry it. That talent also keeps us rooting for their characters’ happy ending, and if some characters and most of the subplots get cut, well, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

So. Do I love the book RWRB? Of course I do—and how I wish it had been around when I was struggling with my issues as a young bisexual man in the 1970’s, since it would have saved me years of shame and pointless suffering. I would then have been much more ready for my own happy ending when Bobbie eventually entered my life. And do I love the movie RWRB? I totally do—I’m always up for a romance, and that is what Matthew, Nick, and Taylor have given us. In some ways, I actually prefer the movie (even though I know that saying this may lead to the RWRB police showing up at my doorstep to confiscate my “History, Huh?” T-shirt). You see, there’s one big problem with publishing a book with such a current, up-to-the-minute feel and format: it quickly becomes about as glossy and stylish as last year’s slang, and so when the Commemorative Edition came out in 2022, I found it curiously dated (the best part, for me, was its illustrations by Venessa Kelley). I think the movie will age a lot better, because with only minor alterations, it could be adjusted to almost any era—it’s not tied nearly so closely as is the book to the Gen Z / Millennial generation.

But to love both book and film, one has to accept the essential correctness of Nick’s original analysis: they are two separate entities, or, if you will, two sides of the same coin. One side is self-awareness and self-acceptance eventually leading to true love, and the other is true love which can only be enjoyed by reconciling societal expectations with personal integrity. So I find the book and the movie equally wonderful, just different. And I treasure them both.

[blessedchaosgod]

Good Omens spoilers

Just finished the season (I know I'm SO late) and oh my god.

I couldn't be off tumblr when it cam out for life reasons so I knew about the heartbreak but Beelzebub and Gabriel?? Nobody warned me???

They are so incredibly adorable oh my god. They did traumatise an angel and a demon in love but ajdgrreifurqaduhfrd I have never seen something cuter sorry

And even if I was warned of the heartbreak I still died?? This has got to stop. Too many gays have been heartbroken this year. I want queer love LOVE 2024.

Except for rwrb. We won that. firstprince my beloved <3

Do expect more Good Omens rants because oh my fucking god

[alarrytale]

You may have already answered one about this but did you notice how Nick has started ignoring everything related to RWRB? First of all he never posted anything when they announced the sequel nor did he even like any posts related to it. He attended the panel they did but then said nothing about the announcement on social media. He usually uses social media to announce things so this is strange for him. He deleted all but two ig posts about the movie and he muted ‘rwrb’ because people were asking why he never mentioned anything about the sequel. Muting it means people can’t see any comments that mention rwrb under his ig posts. He left a bunch of posts up of his other projects by the way. The other shitty thing was he didn’t go to the glaad awards. I can give him a pass on that because maybe he was too busy…but they won the fan favorite award and again he said nothing about it. It’s almost like he’s embarrassed of it or thinks it’s beneath him. I hope I’m wrong but that’s how it feels. It’s so strange considering how huge that movie was and it really launched his career to another level. His stans of course had every excuse in the book for him but it truly makes no sense. I’m sure he has people helping him with his social media and image now but that doesn’t mean he has no control over it. Even sharing prime’s post about the sequel in his story and sharing something about winning the glaad fan award would have been fine but he said absolutely nothing about either. Is this his teams way of trying to push his straight agenda? And even if it is, how does it help his career to bury his best project? It’s so insulting for the queer fans especially :(

Hi, anon!

I've addressed all of this before, yes. Check out my nick galitzine tag. Is this his teams way of trying to push the het agenda? Yes, at least partly. It is disappointing, but it's his choice to make. I wish he would have done things differently.

[ladyknightellen]

Ask Me Anything: WIP Ask Game

Edit: I was tagged by @junebugclaremontdiaz and didn’t see the tag until after I posted. Thanks for the tag!!🥰

I am taking an open tag from @anincompletelist and @nocoastposts I am currently procrastinating working on said wips so naturally I'm going to do this instead of actually writing them lol.

For the purposes of this game, I'll be a little more organized than I actually am and separate things into three categories:

-Active WIPs: Stories that I am either in the process of posting or that I have worked on within the last week.

-Drabbles: Anything that I've written at least a couple paragraphs of, but haven't worked on for at least a week. Some are from the Brownstone Servers weekly drabble prompts that I started expanding on, others are just random ideas that I actually wrote down.

-Ideas: These are the ones that are still floating around in my head that do not exist anywhere outside of my brain, or that I've only written a couple sentences of.

(The first two are the only one with definite titles, so for the rest of them I will be using 'Friends' episode titles or whatever nickname I've been calling it.)

The Next Step Is All You Can Take: Set immediately after the Lake House, but before Alex storms Kensington. Henry sees on the news that Alex has been injured in an attack, and immediately hops a plane to the US, where he discovers that Alex has been blinded. This fic is in progress and has 7 chapters posted so far.

Never Grow Up: A 3+1 fic that follows Alex and Henry as they discover that their daughter will be born with spina bifida and shows snapshots of their life from Daisy's birth to her dads dropping her off at college. This is a one shot, and technically it's already complete, but I fell in love with Daisy and I want to write more about FirstPrince girl dads because why not. I'm open to suggestions for this one.

The One Where Henry's Metaphor Is Not A Metaphor: What if Henry's story about 'the prince with his heart on the outside' was a bit more literal than it is in canon.

The One Where They're Both Disabled: I blame that 100 word drabble I did where I wrote Henry with a spinal cord injury and his wheelchair frame is painted to look like the 'Lover' album, somehow that turned into this. But yeah, it's exactly what it says on the tin. This will either be my magnum opus or I will crash and burn like Icarus. Only time will tell.

The Grey's Anatomy AU: Just so you know, I am playing fast and loose with both timelines in a massive way with this one. Basically it starts season 1 episode 1 and Alex and Henry are starting as interns with MAGIC. Henry is still a prince, and Alex is still the first son, but their lives took very different paths (obviously).

Tortall/RWRB Crossover: A crossover between RWRB and Tamora Pierce's 'Tortall' universe with a primary focus on 'The Protector of The Small' quartet. This might be one of the more chaotic ideas I've ever had, but if I ever manage to write it, this will be the first time I've written something in the fandom my username is inspired by.

What Happens After Hanahaki?: I'm just gonna give a quote for this one because it's one of my favorite bits that I've written in a while.

"When he’d arrived at the hospital, he had been desperate, praying that he wouldn’t be too late. The clock was ticking and as soon as he had taken Henry’s hand and showered his unconscious face with kisses, one by one his vital signs started to return to a normal range, and a scan later confirmed what they already knew; the flowers growing in Henry’s lungs were gone. He was going to live, crisis abated and true love won out in end, but then the second nightmare began."

The One Where Henry Is Deaf: This started a 100 word drabble for the Brownstone Server's weekly prompt 'Enamored'. Basically Henry is Deaf, and when Alex saw his picture in J14 and read the interview about him and was smitten immediately, so naturally, he learned BSL for totally unrelated reasons of course. (canon doesn't mention an interview, but there's an interview because I said so)

The One Where Alex Has Epilepsy: Henry taking care of Alex when he has a seizure. That's it, that's the fic.

The One Where Alex And Henry Decide To Terrorize A Poor Unsuspecting Professor At NYU: I cannot for the life of me remember where this idea came from, but what if Henry got his Masters at the same time Alex is in law school and they decided to take a random class together. Chaos ensues.

The One Where Henry Realizes He's Left Handed: This is another one I have no idea where it came from, but the idea is that royals would totally do that thing where they train someone to be right handed like they used to do back in the day. So what if they did it to Henry and he didn't realize it until he was an adult?

Polseres Vermelles AU: This is the newest entry on the list, as in, I literally started thinking about it today. If you don't already know, Polseres Vermelles is a show about six teenagers who are all in the hospital for various reasons that become friends, if you did already know, please message me because we are now best friends.

There's more, but this post is too long already, but please ask me anything about whichever one you want to know more about. I'm willing to share snippets or just answer questions about any of them!

Consider this an open tag for anyone who wants to participate because I am the 'you have to invite me in like a fae creature' brand of autistic and the idea of actually tagging a specific person in something like this stresses me out.

[revjohnobryon]

RWRB: The Movie

Even before RWRB started climbing the bestseller lists back in 2019, the word was out: this one is going to be big! So Hollywood studios immediately began clamoring for movie rights, which Amazon Prime won in a sealed-bid auction. We fans then filled the internet with suggested cast lists—I was going to say, “none of which even came close to naming the actors eventually chosen, especially the principal leads.” But then a friend reminded me that he had actually suggested Rachel Hilson as Nora from the start, and (don’t read this next bit, Nick and Taylor), “I also had some great suggestions for Alex and Henry, which would have been perfect if they had gone for younger actors closer to the ages the novel specifies.” I sit corrected.

Meanwhile, we settled in to wait for an announcement that the movie was starting production, with a fervor unmatched by even the most rabid fans of the Left Behind series looking for the Second Coming. And we waited … and we waited … and we waited. First-time director Matthew Lopez, a Tony award-winning playwright who also wrote most of the script, seemed to be taking his sweet old time casting the film (though I suspect that once Nicholas Galitzine threw his hat into the ring to play Henry, no one else was even considered). And there matters sat. It didn’t take quite as long to start filming as Jesus has taken to return, but at times, it sure felt like it.

Then, with a rustling of angels’ wings and a blast from golden trumpets, the announcement came: the film had been completely cast and shooting was about to begin! Aside from the two leads, Matthew gave few particulars about who was playing whom, and almost no candid shots of scenes being filmed showed up on the web. There was a bit of flack when Rachel Hilson was announced as Nora, because of the book’s only Jewish character becoming Black. And when Queen Elizabeth II happened to die three weeks after principal shooting ended, people began speculating about the possibility of Matthew being psychic, since he had chosen to replace the novel’s Queen Mary with King James III. Obviously, it didn’t take Madame Cleo to predict that a 96-year-old lady might not survive much longer and that a male monarch would occupy the throne by the time of the movie’s premiere. But in the midst of all the mystery surrounding the film, we needed to talk about something.

Then shortly after shooting wrapped, Nicholas Galitzine was asked how faithful the movie was going to be to the novel. Somewhat nervously, I imagine (he later confessed in an interview with GQ that he never actually finished reading it, so no doubt he was a bit hazy about details), he cautioned us not to expect a carbon copy of the novel, but instead to treat the two as “entirely separate.” He then added, “I just hope that people will think of this as a fun movie.”

Sorry, Nick. RWRB is not a fun movie. Yes, like the novel, it is funny in spots (and Matthew’s script, which I felt actually improved on some of CMQ’s lines, is also remarkably faithful to the original in its general outline and inclusion of certain iconic scenes—far more than most movie adaptations). But the film is mainly concerned with serious issues, and aside from occasional lapses into preachiness, it treats these issues with sincerity, tenderness, and genuine feeling. And this is in no small part due to the performance of Nicholas Galitzine himself.

I find Nick Galitzine to be one of the most amazingly attractive human beings I have ever seen. It’s not just because of his handsome face; my admiration springs from his obvious innate decency, his endearingly goofy sense of humor, and his undeniable talent. There was no need for him to admit that he never finished the book—it’s not like we could have checked—but when asked, he told the truth, because he is an honest man. When the writer from GQ whispered that some other diners at the restaurant where they were meeting were getting irritated because Nick was being too noisy, he immediately got up on his crutches (he had chipped a bone in his ankle in an accident on the set of his latest project, Mary and George) and tottered over to apologize, an all-too rare example of consideration and good manners in this post-Trump world. When teased about his habit of calling everyone “mate” and hailing them as if they were long-lost BFF’s, Nick replied with a laugh, “Everyone is my friend—I’m just very excited to see them! I’m very enthusiastic!” I’m sure that truer words were never spoken.

Though Henry was easy to cast, the hunt for Alex took rather longer, because Matthew was searching for someone who demonstrated just the right chemistry with Nick. Then a thirty-year-old actor named Taylor Zakhar Perez put himself forward (too old, I would have thought, to play the 21-year-ol Alex; plus, at 6’2”, he was actually two inches taller than Nick, and CMQ had made a major plot point out of Henry’s superior height). But when Nick and Taylor first met, Matthew was called away for a few minutes, and he came back to find them talking nineteen to the dozen like they were old friends. At that moment, Matthew knew he had found his Alex. The possible objections were easily dealt with (Alex is no longer a college senior, but instead is now in law school, so he could easily be in his mid-twenties; and clever camera angles make Nick look taller. The script also creates a running joke out of Alex continually insisting that Henry cannot possibly be 6’2” as his fact sheet claims; and when they’re standing side-by side, Henry accuses Alex of wearing lifts.  Alex’s look of confused dismay makes us actually wonder). They are perfectly matched, and the result is screen magic.

I found Taylor to be a complete revelation. His last movie had been a quickly-forgotten (luckily for him) bomb called One Up, in which Taylor’s lines were mostly restricted to comments like, “No, girls can’t join our team! Girls can never compete with men in the field of …” (wait for it) “competitive gaming!” Huh? We’re not talking about professional wrestling or weight-lifting—we’re talking about computer games. Moreover, countless studies have shown that women’s reflexes are quicker than men’s, their brains are proportionately larger, and that men’s only real superiority is upper body strength. I thought that such ignorant sexism as Taylor’s character in One Up conveys was a thing of the past, but in a world where women can lose the right to control their own bodies at the stroke of a pen, maybe not.

Though Taylor has never before played so major a part (that I’m aware of), he acquits himself admirably here. From the moment Alex tries to persuade Nora to ditch the reception and “go do touristy things,” the role of Alex is obviously in just the right hands. As it turns out, Nora might have done well to accept Alex’s suggestion, because he gets drunk at the reception and manages to create an international incident. And I must say, I very much enjoyed Henry and Alex’s interaction at the reception. Not only was I finally able to visualize the exact sequence of events leading to the disaster with the cake; I loved Henry’s fury at Alex’s dismissal of the proper use of titles (more about this below). It may make Henry look like a snobbish prig (which is certainly how Alex sees him), but Henry doesn’t care what Alex thinks. It also shows just how far Alex can goad him. For a royal, displaying such fury is even worse than making a scene, because royals are supposed to smother their feelings and appear cool, calm, and collected, no matter how trying the circumstances. Alex may be the first person who has ever been so lippy with Henry, and he really gets under Henry’s skin by doing so. (Which he will later do in a much more literal manner ….)

Which leads me to the BIG question we all wondered about: did Nick and Taylor’s offscreen friendship translate into SIZZLING sex onscreen? Well—no. And that’s fine by me. Any time I want to watch porn, there are any number of sites I could visit (or—ahem—so they tell me). Instead, these sex scenes give us poetry—aching, tender, romantic, and beautiful, allowing us the chance to peek into the depth of the characters’ intimacy, something made possible only by the actors’ consummate artistry. (Sorry—I couldn’t resist that one.)

Their first sexual interaction happens at the New Year’s Eve party, where they spend the entire evening talking and laughing together in a way that completely excludes everyone else. But then while everyone is sharing kisses at midnight (and several beautiful women make a beeline for Alex), Alex notices the (unkissed) Henry staring at him, heartbreak writ large on his face. Henry grabs a magnum of champagne and disappears, so Alex tracks him into the frozen Rose Garden. Critics have commented that this scene is detectably CGI, but come on, people—the movie was filmed during the summer, and it’s not like they were going to fly cast and crew to South America for a true wintry landscape. Besides, the actors’ talent made them look cold, which more than met the needs of the scene.

The ensuing kiss is straight out of CMQ, and I thought Alex’s reaction to Henry’s grab-and-smooch is particularly good. At first he seems startled (though not shocked), but then he plainly starts getting into it. It is Henry who breaks away, with a look of shock and terror as he realizes what he has just done. Without a single word, Nick is able to show us exactly what Henry must be thinking: Oh, my God! I let the mask slip—again! How does this bloke always make me do exactly what I was brought up not to do—expose myself by showing my real feelings? Christ! I need to get out of here!

Now it’s up to Taylor to show Alex’s reaction to the incident. In the movie, he seems not to feel much more than mild surprise, and a vague curiosity about whether Henry might be gay. But in the book, Alex goes into full-on gay crisis mode because of his body’s immediate reaction, and he develops even more of an all-consuming obsession with Henry. CMQ devotes twenty pages to this issue, one which all LGBT’s must eventually face (and twenty pages is actually getting off easy—in my case, accepting my bisexuality took decades). But since the movie’s Alex readily acknowledges his male lovers, enjoying Henry’s kiss isn’t an issue for him at all. The only complication he now faces is coming out to his parents, though I’m sure they figured out that their son was bisexual long ago.

Then comes the White House dinner and the Red Room scene, after which Alex orders Henry to “come to my room at midnight, where I am going to do very bad things to you.” My aforementioned friend (the one with the cast list) points out that Henry unbuttons Alex’s shirt and begins kissing down his chest and stomach, and Alex leans back with a look of gratified pleasure, but then at the end of the scene, Henry is still fully dressed. (Didn’t Alex reciprocate?) Henry then invites Alex to a polo match back in the UK, at which we see the guys kissing and Alex pushing Henry onto his back and reaching down to remove Henry’s belt, and … that’s as graphic as it gets. Matthew rightly protested the movie’s “R” rating, since aside from a couple of f-bombs and a brief shot of Taylor’s bare backside, that’s it. An “R” rating? I suspect that it’s studio nervousness about a potential homophobic reaction, and if the execs are that squeamish, why did they buy the movie rights in the first place?

The final sex scene is extremely well done. Henry begins by telling Alex that he wants to make love to him, to which Alex uncomfortably replies, “Make love? Who says that anymore?” Well, maybe Henry didn’t want to scare you off,  Alex, by using the same words as he does in the book: “Please—I need you to fuck me.” But obviously, Alex intuits that this is exactly what Henry wants, because Alex says nervously, “Um—I’ve never—” to which Henry smiles and says, “Don’t worry—I went to an English boys’ boarding school,” which is a far more likely scenario for Henry to have been initiated into gay sex than a virginal 17-year-old Henry being seduced by one of his older brother’s friends.

The two lovers gaze at each other, and then they gently, almost reverently, begin to touch. It made me think of times at night when my wife and I are in bed, and I look at her asleep on the next pillow, and I touch her in exactly this way. My heart feels like it will burst, and wonder floods me as I realize that this woman, whom I have loved for all these years, actually loves me back. Can the human heart ever experience anything more wonderful than such a realization? The same knowledge shines out of the men’s eyes in this scene—I love him, and he loves me. Then the touching becomes more intense, and as the scene progresses, without a single word or sound, Nick conveys the exact moment when Taylor seemingly enters him, and precisely when the pain of initial penetration tips over into pleasure. I’ll say it again: this guy is amazing. Ever since I first started watching Nick’s movies, I have said that he can communicate more in ten seconds of silence than other actors can manage in a two-page monologue, and that is exactly what he does here. (And he still has no acting awards? I mean, really?)

Alex acknowledges to himself that making love is exactly what he has been doing with Henry all along, but by trying to share this realization he only succeeds in scaring Henry off. Henry begins deflecting every time Alex brings up their future together, a future which Henry believes to be impossible. Alex tells him, “I want to see you at a barbecue stand with sauce smeared all over your mouth, so I can lick it off,” to which Henry replies, “Don’t they have napkins in Texas?” Alex begins talking about spending time together after the election, when “we can be naked all day, and walk down the street holding hands” (presumably after they’ve put some clothes on). I loved watching Taylor’s face as he nervously suggests their eventually going public, and tries to make his declaration of love. And (as always), Nick perfectly conveys Henry’s troubled emotions, as Henry cuts Alex off by jumping into the lake. The fear on Henry’s face as he submerges himself in the water is a perfect visual metaphor for the doubts and terrors in which he is drowning.

And make no mistake—these fears are well-grounded, and very real. Henry was born into a world where nothing matters more than hierarchy and the strict rules which govern it—thus his insistence that Alex address him correctly as “Your Royal Highness” rather than “Your Majesty,” a title reserved the monarch alone. Priggish? Pretentious? Maybe—but take away the outward forms which maintain this artificial world, and who is Henry? And if Henry insists on being himself and steps outside the royal system, the punishment will be both immediate and severe.

Prince Harry and his wife were still newlyweds expecting their first baby while CMQ was writing the novel. No one could have predicted that the devil’s bargain between the Palace and the media (which always demands a villainous royal to skewer before they publish praise about a more important one) would lead to the vicious unpopularity Meghan Markle currently suffers. The written abuse heaped upon her (greatly assisted by social media) became so severe that she firmly believes it led directly to the loss of their second child. So they felt they had to flee the country if they were going to save their marriage and their family.

But as Prince Harry describes in his memoir, Spare, they soon discovered that for doing so, within twenty-four hours of their arrival in this hemisphere, his funds were cut off and they were officially evicted from both their royal residences. The very next morning, his security detail was taken away, leaving them homeless and unprotected in a world of crazy stalkers (from whom Meghan had been receiving death threats) and intrusive paparazzi. Harry also found that a private security firm would cost him roughly six million dollars a year, which would soon eat up every penny his mother had left him. Fortunately for Harry and Meghan, friends stepped into the breach to help them, but except for a very few, his family has turned on him with silent fury and stony faces ever since. Even Prince Andrew, convicted of molesting an underage female and who must register as a sex offender anywhere he goes for the rest of his life, got more generous treatment than this. All Harry did was put his love for his wife and children above royal duty, but for doing so he has been cast into the outer darkness. And for the sin of claiming his own right to fall in love with a brown-skinned American, Henry knows he would suffer the same fate.

But RWRB is a fairy tale, so of course everything works out fine in the end. The election which Alex’s forced outing has put into doubt ends with Ellen’s victory due to a strategy devised by Alex himself. Despite intense pressure from the royal family, Henry insists on staying with Alex and acknowledging their true feelings for each other, and the entire world rallies around them. It is a triumph for love and tolerance over “the stifling suffocation of heteronormative conformity.” (I wish I didn’t have to put that line into quotation marks, but no one who knows me would ever believe that I had come up with such an erudite and well-turned phrase on my own.)

I enjoyed the film immensely. I thought the actors were top-drawer, as was Matthew’s adaptation and direction. So what didn’t I like? The watering-down of the certain characters for one, but above all, the elimination of others, especially Alex’s sister June. Please bear with me, though, because I think I have a glimmer of understanding as to why Matthew might have done this. And with his love for the book, I am sure that he did not arrive at his decisions lightly.

Let’s start with the character of Nora. In the book, she is someone “with a computer for a brain” who adopts the online persona of “a depressed lesbian poet who meets a hot yoga instructor in a speakeasy and is now marketing her own line of hand thrown fruit bowls.” But in the film, she becomes little more than a walk-on, and her brilliant, prickly presence gets watered down into a warm and loving sister surrogate (necessary since June got axed—why include June when Nora can function for both?).  Now that Nora is Alex’s supportive older sister, obviously there’s no hint of their past relationship from the book, in which “they just had to fuck to get it out of the way.” And without June, there’s also no need for a lesbian subplot. In the process, almost all of Nora’s spunkiness gets lost, and once the reception scene and the discussion with Alex about Henry’s New Year’s Eve kiss are over, she has nothing much to do but smile from the sidelines as she pairs up with Pez (who is also reduced to almost nothing—Henry’s incredibly wealthy, highly amusing and sexually ambiguous best friend barely has two lines). By reducing these characters, the movie loses the interest they both bring (Nora in particular).

This sort of character reduction is not limited to Nora and Pez. Many remaining characters get sanitized as well, if not entirely deleted. The abrasive Zahra who threatens to “staple Alex’s dick to his leg if it’ll keep it in his pants” morphs into a wisecracker who serves the essential function of calling Alex to account and dealing out the discipline he so obviously requires, but who always remains a friend. She thereby becomes much more likable—I loved the original character, but I used to wonder how someone so rude could have made it so far in politics—but in the process she becomes much more bland, and we lose most of her salty, prickly humor.

The salty-tongued Ellen, who sometimes uses her children as props and who ruthlessly cuts Alex loose when he threatens to become a campaign liability, gentles down into mere exasperated bossiness when dealing with her only child, and in the process becomes a fairly minor character. She shows none of the grit and determination that would have led her from her mother’s bar all the way to the White House. She is also still married to Alex’s father, Oscar Diaz, who has morphed from an important California senator into an undistinguished Congressman whose speeches everyone (but Alex) ignores. With Oscar and Ellen still together, the character of June loses one more necessary function: supporting and protecting Alex in the wake of their parents’ divorce, as well as her habit of challenging him for the behavior she believes may be fallout from Alex’s still-conflicting loyalties to his warring parents. But in the movie, the only hint of conflict between Mom and Dad is Oscar asking his son not to tell his mother that Oscar has been smoking out on the Truman Balcony.

And then there’s Rafael Luna. His abrasive, mentoring character gets deleted entirely, and his seeming betrayal (which causes Alex such agonized soul-searching) gets replaced with actual betrayal by a shifty investigative reporter. Luna goes undercover to expose a sexual predator and to prevent such a person from entering the White House (if only there had been this sort of double agent on the Trump campaign!). But in the movie, the guys get outed because a reporter named Miguel, a former lover of Alex’s, becomes jealous when Henry and Alex go off together at the DNC. I loved the cameo by Joy Reid (as I also loved the cameos by Rachel Maddow—and Matthew, while you were at it, why didn’t you also get Steve Kornacki?) as she pushes the reporter to explain why he had done such an underhanded thing. With all the hypocrisy and smug sanctimoniousness typical of his breed, the reporter gives a BS answer about “the public’s right, and need, to know such things about the people they elect,” which Joy immediately challenges by pointing out that (a) Alex has not been elected to anything, and (b) he has a perfect right to keep his private life just that—private.

So why did Matthew make all these changes? I think it may be for one simple reason: anyone adapting a novel for the screen must first identify the elements that made the original so popular, and, since we’re talking Hollywood, those which are also the most marketable. Every word must somehow advance the main storyline, and all subplots that distract from it must be ruthlessly eliminated. Multiple characters get condensed into one who can represent them all. There has to be a conflict engineered by the villain of the piece, but the elaborate undercover plot organized by the Richards campaign would have taken too much screen time. So it gets replaced by one which might be summarized in ten words: “Hell hath no fury like that of a lover scorned.” Of course, in a romcom, the screenplay must finally lead to a happy ending, and here we get two: in England, the lovers wave to an adoring public from the Buckingham Palace balcony; and in the US, Ellen finds out that she’s been reelected even as she and Zahra are composing her concession speech. Then Ellen, Oscar, Alex, and Henry wave at adoring supporters cheering Ellen’s victory.

RWRB the novel is only marginally a romcom; it is really a coming-of-age story, its message one of self-acceptance through self-awareness. This is what makes it so wildly popular among the YA audience at whom it is aimed, since adolescence is the time when the struggle to know and acknowledge who we really are is the most difficult. Just before the election, Nora tells Alex that he has no reason to be afraid of people’s reactions to his bisexuality; all he has to do to cement his popularity is to “Be Alex.” It’s good advice for all of us: difficult though it often is, our only real path to a full and productive life is by knowing and accepting ourselves as we are. And as a wise woman once told me, being yourself is a lot easier than being anyone else.

But self-acceptance is a particularly thorny issue for LGBT’s, even if our mothers are liberal Democrats like Ellen Claremont and our fathers are “patron saints of unisex bathrooms” like Oscar Diaz. As members of the culture into which we are born, from our very first awareness we know that there is something different about us. Something which our society teaches us is loathsome and contemptible, and which will inevitably lead to our eternal damnation. This is a pretty tough concept to handle, and we’re forced to confront it even before we enter preschool. But it’s not an issue the movie chooses to address: instead, it focuses on almost exclusively the developing romance between the two principals. This shoves the film’s entire weight onto Nick and Taylor, but fortunately these young men both have broad shoulders, and their talent is more than able to carry it. That talent also keeps us rooting for their characters’ happy ending, and if some characters and most of the subplots get cut, well, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

So. Do I love the book RWRB? Of course I do—and how I wish it had been around when I was struggling with my issues as a young bisexual man in the 1970’s, since it would have saved me years of shame and pointless suffering. I would then have been much more ready for my own happy ending when Bobbie eventually entered my life. And do I love the movie RWRB? I totally do—I’m always up for a romance, and that is what Matthew, Nick, and Taylor have given us. In some ways, I actually prefer the movie (even though I know that saying this may lead to the RWRB police showing up at my doorstep to confiscate my “History, Huh?” T-shirt). You see, there’s one big problem with publishing a book with such a current, up-to-the-minute feel and format: it quickly becomes about as glossy and stylish as last year’s slang, and so when the Commemorative Edition came out in 2022, I found it curiously dated (the best part, for me, was its illustrations by Venessa Kelley). I think the movie will age a lot better, because with only minor alterations, it could be adjusted to almost any era—it’s not tied nearly so closely as is the book to the Gen Z / Millennial generation.

But to love both book and film, one has to accept the essential correctness of Nick’s original analysis: they are two separate entities, or, if you will, two sides of the same coin. One side is self-awareness and self-acceptance eventually leading to true love, and the other is true love which can only be enjoyed by reconciling societal expectations with personal integrity. So I find the book and the movie equally wonderful, just different. And I treasure them both.

[dolphinqueen10]

RWRB chapter 15 who won the damn election?

"Alex wants to throw a punch every time he sees Phillip's stupid face... " Dude. Same. And I've never seen his face.

The anxiety Alex has about Texas is so sweet. And sad.

Yellow rose of Texas. Henry you sly dog 💛💛💛🌹🌹🌹

Did I miss something somewhere about Nora and June being gay for each other or did I make that up? "You're kinda hot when you get all indignant." I mean, I've been seeing some things soooooo....👀

"Henry... kisses him like the end of the movie." DAMN RIGHT HE DID. 😘

Ellen's speech is so perfect.

Alex's childhood home.

What an amazing book and an amazing journey. It will be one of my favorites that I will read over and over again.

Thanks yall, for indulging me. 💜💙💜💙💜💙

[arse-crack-thistle]

physical touch

rwrb and the five love languages | part three

in which a young ellen and oscar make a life-altering decision

The sun boils Ellen Claremont and Oscar Diaz as they stand outside Marlene’s Diner. Even in December, the Texas heat shows no mercy. The parking lot is full of cars for the lunch rush, and as much as her manager hates it, Ellen had to take her fifteen now. Oscar is on his way home.

Seems like yesterday he and a bunch of his white-collared buddies popped into Marlene’s and sat down at a table in Ellen’s section, but it was eight months ago. She thought she was about to get catcalled and a two-penny tip, but instead she gave the table advice on how to help David Morwitz, an Austin democratic candidate for state representative, gain more votes among young people. And Oscar wouldn’t leave until he got her number—for political reasons of course. That is until she made out with him after a Young Texas Democrats rally and he discovered the blue bonnet tattoo on her lower back.

He was fresh out of law school, hoping to build his political resume so he could run for office one day, and she was just finishing up her second year, living on tips and volunteering where she could. And, like all young lovers, they spent the whole summer and fall talking about their hopes and fears, their darkest secrets and greatest dreams.

“The Supreme Court, eh? One of the justices?”

“No,” she told him, “I just want to argue a case there. Set precedent.”

He smiled, showing off that goddamn dimple on his cheek. “You could go farther—the highest point even.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m looking to help the little guy, Diaz. I can do that anywhere.”

“Then why not the presidency?” When she scoffed, he said, “Fuck you, I’m serious. I’ve seen you in action, Claremont. The protest you organized for the clinic they shut down? You’re incredible.”

That moment hugs her as she struggles to let go of Oscar’s hands. They’re rough from the field work he did in high school but also calloused from his guitar. She spent months learning the lines on his hands; she can draw them from memory, as he can with the curves of her hips.

His flight leaves in two hours. Ellen will have to watch the blue sky for planes, imagining him soaring away with his Walkman playing a worn-out Latin tape. Maybe if Morwitz won, things could be different.

But they’re not. She’s still filling coffee cups and handing out “yes, ma’ams” and “yes, sirs” like they’re pocket change. And he’s still going back to California to join an immigration law firm.

“Claremont,” he starts, “I don’t know what to say. These past few months—”

“I know,” she says. Lord, do not let her bawl in front of this man—not like she hasn’t before when the anniversary of her mother’s death came around. But still, she’s got to leave him with the image of the take-no-shit, strawberry-blond fireball she is.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. God, she’ll never forget this man even if she tries. His curly black hair swoops over his eyebrows and behind his ears. His sleeves seem permanently rolled up, his tie loosened. Oscar somehow carries the lackadaisical Cali-boy in his smile and the strength against generational oppression in his eyes. The sorrow of goodbye shows in his drooping shoulders. Ellen knows she can set them straight with one kiss on the lips and a hand somewhere else.

Instead, she drops his hands and looks away.

“Ask me to stay,” Oscar says, reaching for her waist.

Ellen can’t bear to look into his warm, brown eyes and tell him to go. She puts her hands on his chest and feels his heart beating under them. His beautiful, fighting heart. “I won’t do that, Diaz. If the situation were reversed, I’d slap you for suggesting it.”

He pulls her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “The situation’s not reversed, Ellen. Ask me to stay.”

Lord, every time her first name rolls off his tongue electricity shoots down her back, and now it meets the lightning rod that is his hand on her tattoo. It takes everything in her not to jump him in this parking lot. Damn the cars driving past them. Damn the diner patrons watching through the windows. Damn the Bible-thumper preaching from the street corner. The world should stop for her goodbye to the man that shocks her too her very core with one touch.

“Oscar.”

“Ellen.”

His forehead presses into hers, and his hand meets the other on the small of her back. She can’t help but wrap her arms around his neck, like they’re about to sway to an overrated pop song at a high school dance. He smells like he always does: cheap cologne and sweat, and holding him—being held by him—feels like taking a wrong turn on the drive home just so you can finish your favorite song.

“You don’t want me to leave, right?” Oscar asks.

“No, but this is crazy. You can’t stay here. What would you do? What would we do?”

Favorite song—favorite person be damned, too. Hasn’t it crossed his mind that his life can’t just transfer to Texas? The campaign is over, and his family and career are back in California. He’s being stupid, and she’s letting him.

Touching him makes her irrational, so Ellen lets go and steps back. “I mean, Lord help us, Diaz! Have you even thought about this?”

“What’s there more to think about? I love you and you love me! We’ll figure out the rest.”

“Oh, do not give me that ‘love conquers all’ bullshit! You’re smarter than that!” she says.

Her fifteen has got to be over by now, but fuck it. Her manager can wait. She’ll stand her and scream at Oscar; she’s developed quite an affinity for it. God bless him.

“Maybe it does—”

“Bull-fucking-sh—”

“No!” He grabs her hands, and she doesn’t fight it. “With all the shit we’ve been through, can’t you see it’s brought us here? Right now, Claremont. You and me. We’ve got something; we want the same things. Let’s do it. Come on, Ellen, let’s just fucking do it!”

And he kisses her. It’s not desperate, but gentle and resolute. Her hands find the nape of his neck again, and she tangles her fingers in his soft curls. Sunflowers bloom in her belly. Oscar squeezes her hips in his hands. Sweet baby Jesus. She can’t let him go. She’ll have to kill him first.

He pulls away—only a centimeter or two—and says again, “Ask me to stay.”

Eight months of this shit. Eight months of diner banter and canvassing and takeout movie nights and fucking in his motel room or her tiny-ass apartment or one of their cars. Eight months of law school papers and screaming matches and tequila and talking for hours until one of them crashes and the other cuddles up to fall asleep. Eight months of hands—his and hers—intertwined like they’re holding the Earth together.

“Stay,” she whispers. A car blares its horn, so she barely hears herself say it. But she does.

“Stay with me, and we’ll change the fucking world.”

As stubborn as she is, so is he. They match in some weird way, and Ellen can’t remember the last time she found a person like that. Fucking Oscar Fucking Diaz. She’ll get on her knees for him or step on his neck if he asks nicely enough. She’ll spend hours critiquing his debate strategies or peering over his shoulder while he proofs one of her assignments. She’ll bake him peach cobbler or devour his mole and anything it touches. Oscar’ll play the guitar, and she’ll sing along.

“Good because I already accepted a job with Representative Acosta. He’s from 54.”

“Fuck you!” Frustrated, angry, and smiling, Ellen shoves his shoulders. “I know where he’s goddamn from! But what the hell were you pulling my leg that far for?”

He puts on that Diaz smirk and trails a finger down her hip. “Pretty legs though.”

“I’ll fry you up and serve you for dinner if you ain’t careful,” she deadpans.

“Promise?” Oh, good Lord.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Ellen grabs his jaw, rubs a finger over that fucking dimple, and pulls him to her lips.

“I do,” she says.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part two, part four, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

so yeah it’s fairly obvious that i have a hard time keeping to a schedule BUT i think this turned out very cute (even if it’s not actually set during valentine’s) and even if i go past v-day, which will probably happen, i’m determined to finish romance week! anyways, thanks for all of your support! <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests

[hms-chill]

prompt for rwrb! established relationship + hogwarts au where henry is a quidditch captain and alex is the commentator for the game :)

Hello! I’m so sorry this took ages, but I’m (hopefully) back to writing things! Life was hectic for a bit there!

Also, I’m really sorry, but I’m not totally comfortable writing a Hogwarts AU. I haven’t read the books, and I worry that I would unknowingly perpetuate Rowling’s problematic views. This isn’t to say there aren’t good Hogwarts AUs (there are, I’ve read them and they’re great!), only that I am unfortunately not the person to write them. So, instead, here’s a high school baseball AU that hopefully gets to the heart of what you were hoping for!

“You’re a Catch(er)”

“It’s a fine afternoon out on the baseball fields today, folks, sunny and hot but that’s just what we’d expect. And while the rest of us are trying to cool down, our varsity Trojan baseball team is warming up on the field. I’m Alex C-D, and I’ll be bringing you all the most important info during this game, along with my good pal Nora H. The district insisted she join me in the box today, since apparently, I need, quote unquote, ‘supervision’ to keep me from getting, quote unquote, ‘distracted’.”

“I’m here to keep him from spending too much time talking about his boyfriend,” Nora says, leaning into her mic and rolling her eyes. 

“Which is unfair, really, because I spend the perfect amount of time talking about everyone. It’s not my fault that a certain gorgeous, kind, talented, sexy catcher just so happens to be involved in every play. It’s not my fault that he spends so much time squatting, and we get a great view of his--”

Nora presses a button to take them off the air, and the radio broadcast goes to a commercial while music plays over the stands. Alex grins at her and leans back in his chair, stretching a bit and glancing out over the crowd. He’s just out of reach of the rolled up scorebook she’s trying to hit him with, and they both know it. 

It’s not a bad turnout today, despite the heat. Alex sees his sister, June, and Henry’s sister Bea in the crowd. He waves, but he’s looking past them and out to the field itself before he can really stop himself. Almost automatically, he finds himself looking for sandy hair, and he’s got a wink and a wave for his boyfriend. Henry waves back, rolling his eyes a bit as Alex grins. 

Their ad break ends, and Nora starts to read off different players’ stats. Alex keeps quite until she gets to Henry, and just before she moves on from him, Alex ads, “He’s also got the highest number of announcer boyfriends on the team, that’s right folks. Henry Fox, the most beautiful man alive, number four on the field but number one in my heart.”

Nora ignores him, but he knows how this goes. She’ll be professional and serious the first few innings, after which she’ll realize that there are times when baseball is, quite possibly, the most boring sport in existence. She’ll be down to his level of shenanigans by the fourth inning at the latest. 

The first inning is slow. Alex gets in a good “Who’s on First?” reference while Nora’s introducing the team, but it drags, and he can tell she’s getting just as bored as he is, even with her spreadsheets and scorecards to keep her company. So, when the they finally get their third out and while the visitors are warming up, Alex says, “Tell y’all what. We’re off to a bit of a slow start today; send us your best jokes. Tweet ‘em, message us on something, send carrier pigeons if you have one. We’ll read some on air between innings, and if anyone makes Nora spit out a mouthful of water I’ll buy you a candy bar or something. Now we’re up for the bottom of the first, score is 2-0 Lightning, but that’s just because our Trojans haven’t had a go yet. First up is Basil Watton, with a batting average that Nora’s about to tell you, because I just dropped math.” 

“It’s 0.28; I can read numbers. First pitch is a strike, and on the second, he’s connected! That’ll be a single for Watton, folks! Now we’ve got Dorian Hallward, with a batting average of 0.30.” 

“Just remember, folks, Henry Fox is up fifth, so stay tuned. And Pez is seventh, so you’ve got him to look forward to, too.” And so the game goes. Henry gets a double, knocking in two runs, and Alex nearly cheers over the next batter. Pez gets Henry in with a single, and they end the inning 2-4. 

Alex reads off a few baseball jokes that people have tweeted them between innings, making sure Nora’s got a mouthful of water before each one, but none make her spit before they go to a commercial or music break. In the next inning, they get to see Henry throw for an out at second, whipping the baseball over Pez and halfway across the field. Nora cuts the power to Alex’s mic, but he’s cheering so loudly he can still be heard faintly over hers.

Henry gets out his next at bat, but he gets someone in, and that’s enough for Alex. By the third inning, Nora is pretty clearly losing interest in being professional. When Alex slips her a note offering to get them popcorn at the next commercial break, she nods furiously as she reads batting averages. He gets them both bags of popcorn and some m&ms to mix in from the concession stand as soon as he can, and they spend the fourth inning stuffing popcorn and candy into their mouths while the other’s talking. By the end of the inning, they’re trying to catch each other with full mouths, making a game of it along with the baseball they’re reporting on. Still, Alex makes time to let everyone know that, when Henry takes the catcher’s mask off as the teams switch positions, his matted down hair looks very, very sexy.

In the fifth inning, with two outs on the board, Henry steals home for a run that could put them in the lead. His helmet is knocked off as he slides, and Alex leads the crowd in holding their breath as the umpire dusts off the plate, trying to make sure Henry’s touched it. There’s a tense moment, then the umpire’s arms are out to his side, and Alex is cheering over his announcement of “Safe!”. Henry pops up and jogs to get his helmet, blowing a kiss to the press box as he does. Alex makes a sound that is not entirely human as Nora unplugs his mic for the rest of the inning. It’s probably for the best. 

The other team pulls ahead in the sixth, but not by too much. Alex is back by the end of the inning to lead everyone in the classic baseball seventh inning stretch. It’s a tradition he’s brought to school games, and even some of  the team warming up get into it, fitting toe touches and hamstring stretches in between warm up throws. As Henry walks out to squat behind the plate, he does a toe touch. The view from the press box is stunning. 

Alex keeps it together. Mostly. 

Despite their stretching, the seventh inning isn’t great. The other team pulls ahead again, and it drags, a series of foul balls and single hits making an already painful inning worse. Alex tries reading jokes to keep people entertained, but Nora doesn’t laugh hard enough to spit, and the crowd is losing energy. When the teams swap, Alex plays the most exciting song they have while Nora crunches numbers. 

“We can definitely come back, it’s just... the bottom of the lineup’s got to start performing for us.”

Alex nods, glad their mics are off. The break ends, and they’re in the bottom of the seventh, starting near the bottom of their lineup. These hitters are the ones who struggle a bit, who are better for their defence than their offence. The first baseman and shortstop are the seventh and eighth positions, and third base is ninth. But to Alex’s surprise, they all make it on base. It’s with the bases loaded that Basil Watton hits a double, knocking two in and making sure everyone knows they’re still fighting for a win. 

The home team takes the lead in the bottom of the eighth, and they go into the ninth with a one point lead, cautiously hopeful. If they can hold this lead and get three outs, they won’t play the bottom of the ninth, and they’ll have won the game. 

The first out comes from a ball hit straight to Pez, who passes it to first. The runner never stood a chance. 

The bases are loaded when it happens. Two strikes, and Pez pitches. The batter connects just a second too late, just a fraction too low. The ball flies straight up, and the batter takes off running. Henry’s helmet is off, and Alex breaks his trance to lean toward the microphone. 

“And it’s up-- this could be out number two folks, Fox has his helmet off, he’s going for it, we can see his sexy tired concentrating face, and he’s caught it! that’s out number two! And the runner on third is trying to steal. He looked back, but the second base runner is there; he’s got to go. He’s sliding, but Henry’s got his glove down. All eyes on the umpire, and... He is OUT! Ladies and gents, both and neither, that is out number three! That’s game, folks! Whoooo!”

“Stay tuned next for our team interviews, but for now, enjoy this last word from our sponsors.” Nora takes them to a commercial break, and Alex is out the door with their portable mic, running to the field to give Henry a massive hug. They’ll get pizza with the team now, and then Henry will be all his. They’ll get to celebrate an amazing game, and he’ll get to spend time with the star of the show.

Notes:

I’m so sorry this took ages! Life, fam. 

Anyway, some notes on positions:

Henry as catcher, because they’re relatively easy to overlook, but they’re super important to the team and actually call the shots from behind the plate. This seemed like something Henry would really enjoy, since he’s pretty cognitive and a good leader, but he doesn’t love the spotlight.

Pez as pitcher, because he does love the spotlight. The book mentioned that he sort of absorbs attention, which felt right for a pitcher. 

Nora as a scorekeeper, because stats! Our gal loves stats; baseball is perfect for her. It’s like... all stats.