#has one brain cell and it bounces around his head like the dvd logo

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

you should all see him btw

[thrift-store-shrek]

"...Martha Stewart killed John Lennon?"

I sat there, just staring. I felt nauseous, despite the fact I was lying on my kitchen floor. Perhaps the cat sitting on my chest has something to do with it. However, that couldn't be right, because I only had allergies to cucumbers and red onion. Cats were safe, cute, a like fluffy liquid bricks.

"...Frog Tart, what is going on?"

I speak my inquiry to said cat, Frog Tart. He just settles down, his tiny little ginger head, filled with nothing but air and the vague notion of cheese, tucked under his fluffy tail.

Nausea. Right. I needed to throw up- wow, I needed to throw up. I swallow the bile, a disgusting action many people do but won't admit, and lie there.

"...Froggie boy, America's baking sweetheart may have gone to jail for more than tex evasion."

Frog Tart doesn't reply. He's stupid, like a brick. Hes built like one too. But my mind starts wandering. Hm, Jail...

Jail!

It sit bolt upright, and Frog Tart proceeds to use me as a springboard. For a moment, air isn't going in as it used to, and then I can breath.

"I can be a superhero with this."

Much like the notion of cheese Frog Tart has rattling around his brain like a DVD Video logo bouncing off corners of a screen, people always have those thoughtsof becoming a superhero. Raised on books, films, comics, manga, and shows of those talented individuals who fight for the right thing, like the downfall of greedy corporations and governments, or to catch that guy in a suit trying to lower his streets property value, the people have always thirsted to become the one to do it.

Down with the Neighborhood Watch Association and all that.

But now I have the power to see the truths of everything. Brilliant flashes in my brain that suggest an oncoming headache, answers to all my questions popping up as soon as I need them.

I could do anything now!

--

At least, that was what I thought six hours ago.

Its too late to say "sike" I think. Frog Tart would agree if he had the words. Or brain cells.

As it turns out, while Martha Stewart did in fact kill John Lennon, it was an inside job. Apparently, a British boy with a nice face and good voice was a threat of enormous levels. So Martha, thirty-nine years old, was hired by the government to get rid of him.

Just like the sudden death of Lennon, God bless his soul and may he be at peace, I am suddenly now a supervillain.

Burdened with the knowledge that parasites didn't eat JFK's brain, and that Harvey Lee Oswald was a fall guy. I decided to not look in to that after I fell over after seeing the sentence "extraterrestrials wearing high-quality leather jockstraps" flashed in my mind. Some things are better left unsaid. And unseen.

I could pour bleach directly onto my brain, I would.

Instead, I've got sewer smell in my hair. At least Frog Tart is with me.

"Well, Froggy, what to do?"

I ponder aloud. I stroke my dumb, loyal cat. Ginger through and through. Not a thought behind those eyes of his. The void stares back if I look into them.

He meows. He's hungry. I am too. I nod sagely.

"Yes, food. Then maybe world domination?"

I joke around. Frog Tart looks up at me, and suddenly I am reminded that cats aren't as dumb as we think. Not a thought behind those little eyes of his, and yet there a chill down my spine.

"...I was kidding, but the truth is what matters, right?"

Something we were taught as children: always tell the truth. Never lie, not even little ones. Did you steal that cay? Yes. Did you bite him? Yes. Did Martha Stewart kill John Lennon? Yes.

Would I be able to overthrow the government?

Yes.

I have to lie down again. The sewer smell is going to sink into my skin, and I'll smell like what a US presidential candidates pants do. Ew.

A lot can change in six hours. Next time, I'll be more careful when I pray I can skip finals.

"...I should expose how corrupt universities are."

Frog Tart bats my face with one furry orange paw like you'd bat a wicket in badminton.

No more finals, anyway... on the plus side, I know what Banksy looks like.

...on second thought, that's one truth I'd better not tell. I can excuse lying by omission.

Sometimes.

I decide to lie there for a few hours in the sewers, a brief moment of respite before I go full Supervillian and overhaul the entire government just to expose what's really in Hot Cheetos.

You have one super power: The ability to know without fail what the truth is to any asked question. You planned to help the world as a super hero. It took you six hours for the government to declare you public enemy number one and the most deadly super villain alive.

[shinxeysartgallery]

This dude runs on Internet Explorer instead of a brain. Dude has a single brain cell that bounces around in his head and sometimes he gets one single coherent thought when it hits the corner of his head like the DVD logo.

I like him; he's funny.

[spark-circuit]

hey so because i am always mentally giving every agent oc in the LobCorp tag headpats, i thought about a cool idea if anyone’s up for it - how about an Agent Exchange Program!

i don’t wanna make it too serious or anything (this is more for fun!), but here’s what i was rotating in my head:

take an in-game screenshot of your best agent(s) (or whatever agent you feel comfy sharing)!

if you’re up for it, draw a photo or make a Picrew icon of them using some of the LobCorp Picrews! (i’ll reblog this with the one i used in the comments since tumblr hates links in posts in tags. thanks staff.)

give a brief backstory/explanation for them if they have one! (stuff like if they love/hate a certain Abnormality, what Sephirah/Department they usually work under, etc)

and then if anyone ever needs agents to recruit to their facility, they can come to this post and pick an agent! (maybe even randomly generate a number or something and pick whatever agent was that number?) and if anything crazy/awesome happens with the agent during a run, you can always share the stories with the agent’s original Manager!

feel free to add to this post whenever you want to share an agent! and if you don’t want to add to this post with an agent but feel like reblogging the post for references or to share other people’s ideas, you can do that too! no pressure! this is mainly just a way to put a spotlight on some of the tag’s favourite agents so the rest of the LobCorp fandom can see them and has an excuse to talk about their agent ocs/inserts more.

i’ll start with three of my Asiyah captains to give you an example! (i’ll place them under the cut so i don’t block the tag!) good luck with finding a new recruit to your facility!

Piper - Information Team Captain (Yesod)

Originally supposed to just manage Bald-Is-Awesome, Piper ended up becoming a lead agent due to being the only one with average enough stats in the whole facility to manage Alriune! Eventually went on to become an agent that could manage any Abnormality if the need arises, though he’s usually fine just getting Knight of Despair’s blessing and watching over the other agents. He’s even become my Twilight EGO agent!

Originally awkward and out of place when first joining the company, he’s become a more level-headed and analytical person over time, and leads most of the facility’s suppressions. (Most of the agents think it’s the shades that made him like that. So cool...)

Marinel - Safety Team Captain (Netzach)

After the previous Safety Team agent [Redacted] (believed to be her brother, according to Level 3 Access records) died during a performance for La Luna, Marinel managed to do the impossible and survive her performance on 1HP! Since then, she usually watches over the WAWs of the facility while running shield support with the EGO Moonlight’s ability.

Kind-hearted and confident. Out of the three agents listed from my facility, you’re more likely to have a proper conversation with her. Piper can hold a conversation fine for the most part, but prefers not to socialize. Rema is more air-headed and would probably get sidetracked mid-sentence.

Rema - Training Team Captain (Hod)

So empty-headed. Incredibly so. This man’s single brain cell bounces around his head like the DVD player logo trying to hit the corners. He got stabbed by the Snow Queen once and didn’t even notice, walking around with the ice shard stuck in him the rest of the day.

That being said, he was the first agent in my facility to handle not one, not two, but three different ALEPHs! With barely any issues! While it may look like he doesn’t pay much attention to what goes on around him, it’d be a mistake to assume he can’t handle himself if the situation gets tough. He’s even able to suppress most Ordeals by himself, though luckily that’s only had to happen a few times.

Usually team cheerleader/motivator for the other agents. To some agents, his overbearing nature and friendliness comes off as annoying - but according to Training Team Sephirah Hod and those who have known him for a while, he’s a rare ray of sunshine in the mostly dismal corporation.

(Also Red Riding Hooded Mercenary does not like him. After the incident where he wanted to wear Big and Will Be Bad Wolf’s EGO “because it was fluffy!” and Red promptly breached containment to chase him around the department, we’ve had to restrict his access to the EGO equipment unless Piper, Marinel or Hod is with him. Angela and Yesod have already given us an earful...) 

[sunflowersupremes]

I love Dandelion because he has one brain cell that slowly bounces around in his head like the DVD logo and whenever it hits the edge he provides a surprisingly deep take.

[inhidingxoxo3637]

Acosta has one brain cell that bounces around in his head like the dvd player logo and everytime it hits the corner he gets to call Gardner ; Sir Christopher

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

The U.N.C.L.E Trio & who has The Brain Cell

Broke: Napoleon “Claimed A Safe Doesn’t Have An Alarm Only For The Alarm To Immediately Go Off, Drank From A Bottle Set Out By His Target, and Expected Not To Be Poisoned Or Drugged (which he was)” Solo has The Brain Cell

Also Broke: Illya “Flipped A Table When Told His Mom’s A Hoe, Beat Up Three Boys Because They Insulted Him, and Knocked A Dude Out Because He Thought He Had His Father’s Watch” Kuryakin has The Brain Cell

Woke: Gaby, The Most Sensible of the three, has The Brain Cell

Bespoke: The Brain Cell bounces around their heads like the logo on a DVD screen and when it hits any one person’s head Just Right, they have One (1) Good Idea

Bespokest: It’s Waverly’s.

[svenssvong]

Sven has exactly one brain cell and it bounces around his head like a DVD logo

[hunnyuwu]

Soulmates? || NCT Taeyong

Premise : Maybe, just maybe, Fate never wanted us to be.

Pairing : Taeyong x Reader

Genre : angst, fluffy in the beginning

WC : 1.4 K

Warnings : mostly angsty, mentions of alcohol, implied anxiety, confronting one’s inner demons, confusing af lol

Author’s note : hope y’all get where I went with this 👁👄👁 (had to go question what was going on in my brain)

⌫ ⌫ ⌫

“Taeyong.”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Do you… do you ever think about what other people are going through? Like, what is happening to her right now?”

Taeyong shifted his head to look at a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties, hastily typing away at her phone screen with a little smile tugging the corners of her coral-tinted lips upward. He watched her for a little while, observing the way she giggled quietly to herself after receiving a text. After one more ping, the small, quiet smile deepened into a cute, gummy grin, promptly brushing her long bangs behind the shell of her ear with the tips of her fingers. He felt a soothing warmth wash over him as he continued to watch her little actions.

“Like, is she texting a boy she just met, knowing in her heart that he’s the one? Is she texting her best friend an extremely funny meme right now? Did she just find out that she passed the interview to get out of her shitty job as a lowly office lady, and she’s telling her husband about the big news? Or maybe, she just took a pregnancy test, and she’s texting her friend right now to discuss how she should reveal the results to her loving partner in life?”

You drawled out your inquiry as you too, observed the lady alongside Taeyong. You pulled lightly at the flimsy plastic piece connected to the end of your hoodie string, nibbling down at your chapped lips with curiosity. You felt your heart tug downward as you saw the woman’s lips draw further upward.

“I suppose so.” Taeyong answered softly, seemingly drawn towards her every movement as much as you were. You finally tore your eyes away from the subject of your deep, inner thoughts to peer at Taeyong’s side profile. And thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice for the time being.

You exhaled, tracing the smooth, but angular curves and lines of Taeyong’s ethereal face with your tired oculi. You have been blessed enough to see his face thousands of times in your bleak existence, but you never felt like it was enough to quench your undying thirst for the beauty that he truly was. Every time you allowed your orbs to grace his unearthly presence, the need to take a closer look had you reeling even further backwards than ever before.

Like all art museums politely ask of you,

You may look, but please refrain from engaging contact with the artwork.

And you were one to always follow their instructions.

“What do you think is happening to her right now, Yong?” The words slipped past your lips at the decibel of a ghost’s gentle kiss, surprising not only yourself, but your male companion as well. He redirected his head your way, a simple gesture that made your cheeks warm up with significant speed. You scooted back a little, only now realizing how close the two of you were at that moment.

Taeyong offered you a small smile, finding the situation pleasantly amusing, “Hmm, well. I personally think she’s texting a guy right now. He’s the sweet, funny guy that she has been looking for ever since she was a little girl. A guy that she will hopefully be able to bring to her parents after so many years of their endless nagging for the answer to the continuation of their family lineage.”

You nodded slowly, drawing your eyes down the length of your arm to your stretched hand that lay flat on the metal bench that you two occupied. Your head jerked harshly, ridding your mind of the thoughts that brewed upon noticing the millimeters of space that separated your fingertips from his.

“And what do you think is happening to her right now?” Taeyong countered, the softness of his voice soothing your heart like a nighttime lullaby.

“Hmm, what do I think?”

You lifted your chin, daring yourself to meet his eyes at a clean parallel. You swallowed the burning ache that rose within your throat as you maintained the intense eye contact, attempting to formulate your thoughts, which proved challenging.

“Well, I think that she found her soulmate.”

“Her soulmate?” Taeyong tilted his head cutely to the side, brows furrowing in thought. You bit down the smile that threatened to appear on your face.

“Yeah, whether the person be a potential lover, a withstanding friend, a familiar stranger, or even her everlasting enemy.”

“What do you mean?” Your companion naturally loosened his jaw, an action he did whenever he was deep-diving into the pool of thoughts that swirled within his brain.

“Exactly what I meant. No matter who that person is to her, they are a soulmate of some kind, I believe.”

Taeyong giggled, shaking his head, “You make absolutely no sense, but I guess in a weirdly twisted way, I think I get where you’re heading with this.”

“Glad you understand, my good sir.” You tilted your invisible top hat his way, enticing a fat eye roll from him.

“You’re crazy.”

“Crazy for you.”

“And a flirt.”

Your grin faltered fractionally, “Yeah, I am what I am. What ya gonna do about it?”

You jabbed your elbow into his general direction playfully, playing it off like the champ you were.

“Speaking of soulmates, though.”

Your heart dropped down to the very depths of your gut, testing out the acidic pool of stomach acid with a cute, teasing nature. You urged him onward, nodding along to the little bubu pout that plumped up his otherwise sharp cheeks.

“Do you consider me your soulmate?”

The air you inhaled hitched at the back of your throat. You couldn’t decipher whether you just swallowed a chicken bone whole or got a sucker punch to the gullet, but it didn’t matter anyways, because you were losing brain cells every passing second you refrained from properly breathing.

You blinked innocently, your pulse quickening with an accelerated velocity.

‘Do you consider me your soulmate?’

These six words bounced within your mind like the DVD paused screen logo. Is there a correct answer to this?

Of course there is, Y/N. Everyone has a soulmate, even the likes of you.

“Hmm, I don’t personally believe in soulmates.”

“B-But didn’t you just-”

“The concept of soulmates implies that someone out there is meant to be the missing piece to the incomplete puzzle that you are. The mere idea that someone was fatefully paired for you… For my life, I want to decide my own fate.”

You pondered your gaze downward, allowing your heart to swell with love for the man beside you.

“Why should I let Fate have that decision, that satisfaction, when I currently feel so empty inside?”

~~~

You could tell him that his fiancé was constantly out drinking and partying with other men whenever he was with you.

You could tell him that his fiancé constantly talks about how annoying he was when he got clingy at nighttime.

Hell, you could tell him that his fiancé looks a second too long at your friend Jaehyun whenever your little gang hangs out.

So why didn’t you tell him everything?

Why didn’t you foil the quandary that sat on your lap like a neatly wrapped package, ready to be sent at a moment's notice?

Well, Fate has a twisted way of leading your judgement and actions.

We dictate our decisions... our choices.

But do you really, Y/N?

You didn’t know the answer to that question, honestly, but what you did know for sure was that Fate played a very cruel, sick game with you, enjoying the way you longed for something, someone, that was just never fated to be yours, no matter what decisions and actions you enacted upon.

Because Fate isn’t something you decide. Fate decides your path, and you were just a chess pawn in its sick game.

Taeyong wasn’t fated to be your lover... 

And now matter how many times you attempt to overcome the sickening game that Fate plays on you, you could never come out victorious. Fate wouldn’t allow you to.

You let the chilling void within you consume your soul as you watched Taeyong and his fiance snuggle on the couch at the party you were currently at. You felt like you could vomit at a moment’s notice, but there was nothing left to expel. You found your last moment’s comfort in the raging neon lights that lit the house in a crude rainbow distortion. You downed whatever liquid was in your red cup, allowing it to keep you company like an old, kind friend.

“Y/N?”

You looked up from your moral plight, allowing yourself to shed one last tear. You shook your head, your facial features contorting into the physical embodiment of eternal agony.

“Why?” You hissed, not bothering to say anything more.

Fate looked you dead in the eyes; its sweet, alluring smile not fooling you this time around.

But Fate doesn’t need to fool you, because you were only a foolish chess pawn fighting for freedom of choice, the freedom to create one’s own destiny.

“Would you like to test the simulation of Fate once again, Y/N?”

⌫ ⌫ ⌫

[dramaphan]

It's very cute!! He missed the proposal the first time he read the draft because he skimmed it, then came back with actual critiques and the author was like "but... what did you think about that one part?" If Dan did something like that he'd definitely take it out. There's no way he'd let any of our eyes ever see it. Idk if he'd even let the publishers see it he'd probably make Phil read it on a notebook paper version of the draft so it could be tucked away.

Dude Phil has one brain cell bouncing around his head like a DVD logo he’d read it and be like “oh yeah it was really cute when the main character proposed I liked that”