#has my own farmer gotten married...

[gamingtrashbasin]

HIMBOS TO HUSBANDS

Downloaded the Ridgeside Rival Hearts mod to set Alex and Jeric up and now it's canon in my brain, I'm so excited for them to live happily ever after 🤧

[theoi-crow]

The humans in Greek Mythology are the mega rich and powerful:

In my college classes people are often shocked when I tell them my favorite part of Greek mythology is the gods themselves and I'm not a big fan of the humans.

99% of my classmates prefer the humans in mythos, especially the ones that stick it to the gods like Sisyphus and feel bad for humans like Kassandra and Helen who have been wronged by the gods because "they're just like us." My classmates and teachers hate the gods and don't understand why anyone in modern times would want to worship such violent and selfish beings whenever I point out there are still people who worship them. They hold onto the idea that people in mythology embody the human experience of being oppressed by terrible gods and fate and we should feel bad for them because "they're human just like us" but they forget that the people in Greek Mythology are NOT just like us. They are more relatable to medieval royalty, colonizers and ultra rich politicians who make laws and decisions on wars and the fates of others, especially the poor and the very vulnerable.

Every hero or important human in Greek Mythology is either some form of royalty or mega rich politician/priest-priestess (of course this is with the exception of people who are explicitly stated to be poor like the old married couple in the myth where Zeus and Hermes pretend to be panhandlers). All of them have an ancient Greek lifestyle more relatable to Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and especially to British royalty during the British empire, than the average person.

All of them.

Odysseus, Patroclus, Theseus, Helen of Troy, Kassandra, Diomedes, Agamemnon, Perseus, Hercules, Aeneas, Paris, Any human who has a divine parent or is related to one, etc. Although sometimes the story omits it, it is heavily implied that these are people who own hundreds or even thousands of slaves, very poor farmers and the tiny barely there working class as royal subjects.

They are the ones who make laws and whose decisions massively affect the fates of so many people. So no, they can't just be forgiven for some little whim, because that little whim affects the literal lives of everyone under their rule. By being spoiled they've just risked the lives of thousands of people and possibly even gotten them killed like when Odysseus' audacity got every single slave and soldier in his ships killed or when Patroclus as a kid got upset and killed another kid for beating him at a game. (A normal person wouldn't kill another person just for winning a game but royalty and those who think they're above the law do it all the time, plus the class status of the child wasn't mentioned but the way he didn't think he'd get in trouble implies the kid was of lower class, possibly the child of a slave or a foreign merchant.)

The gods get a bad reputation for punishing the humans in mythology but, if not them, who else is going to keep them accountable when they are the law?

And whose to say the humans beneath them weren't praying to the gods in order to keep their masters in check?

Apollo is the god in charge of freeing slaves, Zeus is the god of refugees, immigrants and homeless people, Ares is the protector of women, Artemis protects children, Aphrodite is the goddess of the LGBT community, Hephaestus takes care of the disabled, etc. It wouldn't be surprising if the gods are punishing the ultra rich and powerful in these myths because the humans under their rulership prayed and sent them as they did historically.

Every time someone asks me if I feel bad for a human character in a myth, I think about the many lives affected by the decision that one human character made and if I'm being completely honest, I too would pray to the gods and ask them to please punish them so they can make more careful decisions in the future because:

They are not just like us.

We are the farmers, a lot of our ancestors were slaves, we are the vulnerable being eaten by capitalism and destroyed by the violence colonialism created. We are the poor subjects that can only pray and hope the gods will come and correct whatever selfish behavior the royal house and mega rich politicians are doing above us.

And that's why I pray to the gods, because in modern times I'm dealing with modern Agamemnons who would kill whatever family members they have to in order to reach their end goal, I'm dealing with everyday modern Achilles who would rather see their own side die because they couldn't keep their favorite toy and would gladly watch their subjects die if it means they eventually get their way. The ones that let capitalism eat their country and it's citizens alive so long as it makes them more money. These are our modern "demigods," politicians who swear they are so close to God that they know what he wants and so they pass laws that benefit only them and claim these laws are ordained by God due to their close connection just like how Achilles can speak to the gods because of his demigod status via his mother.

Look at the news, these are humans that would be mythical characters getting punished by Greek gods which is why anything Greco-Roman is jealousy guarded by the rich and powerful and is inaccessible to modern worshippers because Ivy League schools like Harvard and Cambridge make sure to keep it that way. That's what we're dealing with. These are the humans these mythical beings would be because:

In our modern times the humans in mythos would be the politicians and mega rich that are currently ruining our society and trying to turn it into a world where only the rich can manipulate wars and laws, just like they do in mythology.

Fuck them.

I literally have so much more to add about my disdain for them and I didn't even touch on the obvious ancient Greek propaganda.

[delopsia]

delly 🍓✨ i’m glad you’re feeling better 🌻

let’s say rhett and bobby are late coming back from the stadium… reader has hopped in a bath with all the fixings when—just as they’ve reached maximum relaxin’—the beloved husbands come (lovingly) barging in with a big basket of goodies from the mortons (y’all missed the first farmer’s market of the autumn season), and bobby (for once) is trying to get one (let’s be real, two) of those giant chocolate chip pumpkin cookies right now. that is, until they see you, looking pretty as a picture, glistening in the warm glow of the lights. are they trying to climb in the tub with reader, or are they content to sit beside the tub and hold reader’s hands while telling them about what they missed down at the stadium with archie?

💐 t

ps. OMG THEY (WE? lmao) GOT MARRIED!! I’M SO HAPPY!! I LOVE THESE THREE AND THIS STORY AND YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US OMG 🌻💛🌻

pps. i love your CREEPIN IT COUNTY header omg 🧡

I'm glad that you like the Creepin It Country thing because that was my first and only attempt at making my own header 😭🧡 But yes!! Omg, I'm just glad that the wedding is finally over 😭 because now I can finally move on to expanding on the rodeo stuff and formally introducing the Floytt family critters.

I have this image in my head of Bob freezing mid-bite when he sees the Reader in the bath. Full on deer in the headlights type thing. Just a few seconds ago, he was half-assedly trying to evade Rhett (because, for some reason, that menace doesn't want one of the cookies in the container; he wants Bob's cookie), and now he's just barged in on the Reader's bath.

Rhett's the one that breaks him out of it. Finds the perfect chance to swipe in and steal a bite big enough to take a fourth of the cookie and just bounces right on in. Watcha doin'? How long you been in here? What all did you use? He's already curled up next to the tub by the time Bob remembers that he can move.

Truth be told, Rhett really wants to climb in, but he waits to be invited, sits there like a big ol' puppy dog until the Reader actually opens their mouth and tells him that it's okay to join them.

Bob very well could fit, too. Technically speaking, this thing can fit Reader, Rhett, Bob, and Mr and Ms. Morton (this was learned when y'all were experimenting to see if this tub would be big enough before buying it), but Bob is a little more content to watch and show off everything they brought back.

There's all kinds of stuff in this wicker basket. A little gnome with leaves on his hat, a tiny pumpkin, three of those locally made ceramic mugs that sold out in the first hour, a few bath bombs from the little business across the street from the farmer's market.

Pumpkin bread, apple cobbler, pumpkin bundt cake, way too many cookies to count, oh, and Willow (Archie's wife) sent a whole tray of her homemade maple cinnamon rolls!

There's so much that they nearly forget about the rodeo in its entirety. They had a bull nearly break through the fence, and another one decided that he was not going to be wrangled out of the arena. Rhett brought Maeve, Isabella's filly, out for the first time to try and get her used to the environment, and she...may have gotten into trouble for poking her little head over the fence and trying to bite the horse Bob was on.

"She's still a baby," Rhett grumbles.

But Bob just glares at him. "She's a menace."

...he says as if he didn't just buy her a new custom halter because she outgrew the other one. And there's definitely not a bag of treats for her downstairs...and he definitely did not buy those for her right after the biting incident...definitely not.

The bickering about how he's unintentionally spoiled that little horse continues long after Reader has gotten out of the bath, crawled into some comfy pajamas, and snuggled up in bed to watch a movie.

[panickingpansexuality]

He's Back

Alex x GN Farmer

Alex is finally going pro so a deadbeat has decided to make themselves known.

It was a warm fall day, Alex, his grandparents, and you were outside fixing up the house for winter.

The gutters needed cleaned and there was a side of the house that could use a fresh coat of paint, and of course the leaves were everywhere.

You four were enjoying this time because this time by next year Alex would be going pro and instead of being by your side he'd be on the television.

Kent and Elliott had stopped by not too long after the work began and felt obligated to help out. Elliott was talking with Evelyn stuffing the leaves into garbage bags that looked like jack-o-lanterns.

Alex climbed down the ladder that Kent was holding and stopped to watch for a second as you painted the side of the house, he let out a low whistle.

"Think I'm refreshed."

You looked over at him and laughed, he hopped down the ladder and came up behind you and held you close.

"Five minutes break!" He called out.

"No way." You said trying to squirm away, "I'm almost done."

While you squirmed the brush slipped from your hands causing it to swing and smear some paint into Alexs' hand, you both looked at it for a moment before Alex wiped the paint on your cheek.

You gasped and he let you go just in time for you to chase him around the house with the brush.

Evelyn watched you two fondly as George yelled out to you both;

"Don't go spilling all that paint!"

The fun was cut short when a man stepped towards the house recognizing the two elders.

"Alex?" A voice called out.

Alex froze as he came around the house, he put his hand out to stop you from going further as if it was going to protect you from the sight unfolding in front of you.

A man stepped into view, he looked completely unfamiliar the only few things that may have looked somewhat familiar to you was maybe his nose and hair.

You gripped Alex's dark skinned hand and he squeezed yours in return.

"Who are you?" Kent questioned crossing his arms.

"Alex?" The man called again completely ignoring Kent. Evelyn placed a hand on her heart and went to stand beside her grandson. Elliott stood in front of you both to stop the man from getting any closer.

"Get the Hell out of this town!" George growled out. "Yer not welcomed here!"

"I have a right to see my son Mullner." The man growled out.

"I'm not your son." Alex said barley above a whisper.

"Look at you!" The man said standing just foot back from punching distance. "I saw your name in the Grid Ball line up and then when I looked it up to make sure it was you I saw you got married!"

Alex pushed you behind him like it was going to hide you. Gently you push Alexs' hand away and step forward.

"Your Alex's sperm donor?" You ask sweetly.

The man is taken aback by the term it give you time to continue.

"I didn't know it was national deadbeat day? Who knew that you folk like to show up out of nowhere and spread your bullshit? Now I've got three bombs on me (freshly made), and Kent and I both are armed so get off of the Mullners property before I bust them out."

Kent lets out a snort behind the man who is starring at you completely offended.

"Are-Are you going to let them talk to me like this?!" The man says starring at Alex. "Your own father?!"

"Alex is more of any man's son here than yours." Elliott said sharply. "Now from what I'm guessing you're only here because Alex is finally accomplishing his dreams, no thanks to you, so you're here to mooch off of his success. If you wanted to become his father you would've called long before this."

"Who the fuck is this dweeb?!" The man said to Elliott.

"This dweeb is one of the men who's had the privilege of being a father figure to Alex! Who's gotten to see him graduate, help him with homework, and each and everyone of us in this town showed up for at least one of his games! Now I suggest you go find one of your many other children thst you may have accidentally drunkenly conceived before we pull out our weapons."

Alex's biological father looked like he was going to explode with rage;

"IM HIS FATHER YOU FA-"

"You're not my fucking father!" Alex yells stepping beside you. "You left my mom and didn't even bother to show up for her fucking funeral! You're nothing but a trashy deadbeat and I know my partner's waiting for me to give the word to drop kick you to China. So what the hell do you want?"

"Son-" the man begins but stops when he sees Alex's stare. "Alex. I...I'm sorry I figured we should get to know each other. You're going pro now and you're gonna need your family behind you."

You and Alex look at each other with a knowing look before you pull out your sword from it's sheath.

"Get out." Kent says, the sound of a gun loading is all the man needs before high-tailing it away back to the bus stop.

You turn to your in-laws and promise to finish up tomorrow, Kent and Elliott nod and start to clean up for you while you take Alex home.

He's quiet for a while, until he gets back to the house and uses your axe, mumbling something about trees needing to be cleared.

You fix the both of you a cold drink before going outside to sit with him.

His shirt's off now, thrown on the bench, he's cursing as he shows the pine tree he's cutting down absolutely no mercy. It doesn't take long for it to fall and when it does Alex stands there panting, carefully you wrap your arms around him.

Alex releases a shuddering breath and turns to you, burying his head into your neck and starts to cry. Gut wrenching sons that sound so quiet it's most likely he's used to making them that small. Your arms wrap around him tighter as continues to cry, when he's finished you two sit on the bench and he drinks what you've brought out to him.

"You know," you say softly. "I think if Kent and I worked together, we could make a rocket to actually send him to China."

Alex laughs and interlocks your fingers together, he brings your hand to his lips.

"I love you." He says in a dry voice. "I swear when we have kids I'll never do that to you, I'll never leave I swear."

"Aw man that means I'm stuck with you for life?" You say in a sarcastic voice.

Alex looks over and sees your face split into a smile. He pulls you over into a fight hug and says; "Yup."

Looking up at him you place a peck on his lips.

"For life." He says.

"Promise?" You ask.

"Promise." He says.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Got an idea

So i had this idea and i understand if you dont do it

so you know how farmer erases memories of people at the shrine?

What if a character (you can choose or do every character if you like) suddenly rememberd some of the past? Will they think it was a dream? Will they hate the farmer ?

I want to hear your opinion

Thank you regardless if you do it or not

Bye bye

Hello-hello! 👋

I decided to write about SDV bachelorette in this ask, hope it's ok. Thank you, and enjoy 😊❤️

_____________________________

Emily:

Emily can't understand why she has the same weird dream. First a stranger stands in some dark place with a stone as beautiful as the heavens, and then two unfamiliar children transform into beautiful doves and fly away from her. No matter how much the blue-haired girl tried to find the meaning in the dreambooks - to no avail. A strange sense of déjà vu occurs when the local Farmer gives her sister a prismatic shard for her birthday. The girl doesn't understand why her sister Haley hates this gift so much. This is a very beautiful stone!

A stone as beautiful as the sky, a stone... The same kind of stone the Farmer gave her when they.... got married?? But it must have been a dream. Wasn't it?

Emily had never felt a strong sense of protecting her sister before. It's... very strange.

Maru:

It's been so long since Maru turned on MarILDA and let her creation go free. And she's so glad her robot didn't forget about her - MarILDA sent a message by fax! Maru no longer remembers if she had set this feature originally or if the robot was able to set itself up, but still. Impatiently, the young inventor pulled a piece of paper from the fax machine and began to read quickly.

"Greetings, creator Maru. I hope your life with your partner Farmer is satisfying you..."

Wait, with who?

What MarILDA is writing about? Farmer's not her partner, she's..... She's.... Why can't she get rid of the idea that she didn't turn on the robot alone? Maru wanted to show it to someone, right? Someone special.

No, that's impossible. She can't have memory lapses like that... Why is Marilda convinced she's married to Farmer? It doesn't make any sense.

Abigail:

"You hit Farmer because you dreamed they were your spouse and betrayed you? Are you serious right now!" Abigail can understand her father's sarcastic tone: hitting people because she was the one who dreamed something there is utter nonsense and unjustified violence. But she knows it wasn't a dream, she knows for sure. Like broken pieces that slowly but surely became part of the whole again - her and Farmer's date, the Mermaid pendant, the wedding, the fight in the house, divorce... Their hidden smirk when they told her they didn't know what Abigail was talking about.

Since her parents wouldn't be able to help her... Well, that just leaves that strange bearded man in the tower. She has to make sure it's not all a sick fantasy.

Penny:

Penny was so happy and truly grateful to the Farmer - they decided to donate her many interesting books, which will definitely be useful for teaching the children. When they invited the young teacher into the house, she couldn't tear herself away from the cozy and beautiful kitchen design. Everything is so cute and comfortable! Not like her trailer room.... That beautiful rug, those lovely flowers, that cozy strawberry decal.

The decal... Strawberries.... That's the...

"A 'Strawberry House' theme? Something warm and inviting, right? I like that too! What a wonderful choice, my love!"

Penny dropped the books from the hands the Farmer handed her. They looked confused at the red-haired girl, whose face was overflowing with horror and tears streaming down her eyes. Without having time to ask her anything, she ran away.

"Huh, what's gotten into her?"

Haley:

"Do you have ponies on the farm?"

Haley felt paralyzed by her own question, addressed to the Farmer. She couldn't explain what it was, but snippets from either a dream or from the past flashed before her eyes:

"So you don't have a pony? Eh, boring..." "Wow! You're not as weak as I thought." "Thanks for finding Grandma's bracelet. I'll never forget that..." "You know, I'm starting to like the smell of green for some reason." "Buy a pony for our farm? Oh, thank you so much, honey! Let me give you a kiss!"

"D o y o u h a v e a p o n y o n y o u r f a r m ?"

The girl doesn't want to ask them about ponies ever again.

Leah:

"Hey-hey, neighbor! Are you home? Can I borrow a glass of hazelnut from you?"

Leah had been standing on the doorstep of the farmhouse for about five minutes now, banging on the door, waiting for the owner. While she was gazing out of boredom at the beautiful fields full of delicious crops, her gaze now stopped at the overflowing trash can. Smashed CDs, old newspaper, soda cans....

A broken wooden toy sticking out of there... with Leah's signature on it. But she didn't make any toys for Farmer, so what does that mea-

"Darling, look what wonderful toys I've made for our future baby. Isn't it wonderful?"

One insignificant detail, her broken toy. A few seconds was enough for the shocked girl to quickly recover...

.....and fly into a pure rage.

With all her might, she threw the cup at the window of their house. When a disgruntled Farmer quickly jumped out at the sound of shattering glass, they were quickly taken aback by the girl's stare. A look full of hatred, anger.

"We need to talk, dear neighbor."

[bomberqueen17]

uhhhhmuhgawhhhh

ok this has been a long fucking month.

i am back in buffalo. i am in my house. i had to find my pillow, which had gotten misfiled. but i have had a slep, i have gotten catsnuggles, i have gotten *cough* we'll call them dudesnuggles. i have awoken. i have made my coffee the way i like it. i am on a couch on my computer and don't have to do anything for at least an hour.

now i can tell to you the Saga of All Of It.

so like ok August was a really rough month. It was just-- busy, and I had been tentatively on a three-weeks-on, one-week-off schedule at the farm, and had thus managed to visit Buffalo like, well once this summer but you know. Anyway the last time I was home I'd spent the entire time helping Dude's mom clear out his aunt's house, so it hadn't exactly been relaxing or let me do any of my own projects, but it had been something. But I got back to the farm and it was go-go-go-go, and then BIL and Farmsister and Farmkid and my mom went on vacation together for a week so I had to watch the house and fill in some farm duties especially dealing with the farmer's market and such, and then they got back and it was a frantic game of catch-up, and then the Livestock Manager got married so he had a week off before and a week after, prearranged but the amount of work was still the same. And it meant that BIL especially was very overworked and was horribly cranky about it and, I'm not gonna tiptoe around it, was real fuckin mean to specifically me for a bunch of it, so that sucked out loud. And in the midst of all of this there were a couple of events where everybody else was invited to a thing and I had to stay home and cover for the absences. And it all kinda piled up and like, I'm a grown ass woman and can handle not being invited to things but it was a lot of things. And I tried, in the middle there, to celebrate my birthday a little bit? but there wasn't a ton of time, I found out Friday afternoon that I'd be able to have Saturday off, so I did scrape together an expedition for myself to a nearby art museum at least but that was the sum total of it, a flying visit from a friend for which I had like four free hours and then had to return to work, and dude visited for the weekend and I got to spend a couple hours looking at art. That was it.

So I was really tired and really done, and this final week BIL was just like outright shitty to me, yelling at me about things that either 1) went against a policy he'd made up earlier, like using a particular method of cleaning on a particular floor drain which he had specifically told me not to do, clearly changed his mind about, and then was furious i hadn't done, but see I wasn't notified of the mind change there so I didn't know? anyway, or 2) were things that I'm not in charge of and I just happened to be the person closest to him when he noticed that something hadn't been done the way he thought it should have specifically been done today even though there would have been reasons at other times to not do it like that, and in fact in this case later it became useful that it had been done as it was, and-- just anyway. It was stuff normally I'd not be so upset about but at the culmination of this extremely thankless-grinding month I was just distraught.

So I got my work done early enough to leave at midday on Friday. And I did, after lunch I did a tiny bit more work but left the farm before 2pm, absolutely giddy at the thought of getting home to Buffalo in time for dinner.

And traffic was annoyingly heavy on 787, but all was fine and doable and not a problem until some jackass decided to cut into the entrance ramp for the 90 at the last possible second and some even bigger jackass decided that the only way to react to this was by theatrically overreacting by coming to a complete fucking stop and so

well i hit the person in front of me, and the person behind me hit me, and the person behind her hit her, and we all pulled off on the side of the road and had to wait for the cops. My hood was crunched shut, and my exhaust system, already having become noisy from part of a pipe rusting through, snapped clean in half.

But nothing was leaking. And nobody was hurt. The lady in the car behind gave me her number and left, because she had dogs in the car who were likely to overheat in the 90F high humidity, and also recently a woman had been killed on the side of this very road in this very situation and she was too afraid to wait. But the ladies in the car ahead were nice and offered me a drink from their cooler and just seemed tired but not mad, and had already called the cops which was great because I had forgotten how to operate my phone in all the kerfuffle.

So we waited for a state trooper to show up-- and notably, he was actually really nice, very reassuring, understanding of how I was also on the phone with my insurance company (also very nice, and I had to have her on the car speaker because the traffic noise was so much i couldn't hear my phone microphone at all, and I was so distracted I kept being like "you want me to what" and then not hearing the answer-- telling her my license plate number was like the most difficult thing for some reason), and he got us to move our cars to a different off-ramp where there was less traffic, and we filled out all the paperwork and stuff and he gave me directions for how to get back to the westbound interstate. He called the lady from the car behind me, for me, and the two of them explained to me that since there was negligible damage I didn't actually have to report that accident if I didn't want to, and so I was like okay fine let's not even bother, since it has to be a whole separate accident report and none of the damage to my car is from that accident. (Not visibly anyway, though I expect it's probably why the exhaust system did what it did-- still though, not likely to be relevant. Even though surely the accident I did report is going to be determined to be my fault, but this second one wouldn't be-- it wouldn't help anything.)

I took off and immediately realized I wasn't going to be able to drive the car as it was, and helpfully a man pulled up next to me at that light and said "your exhaust system is definitely dragging, do you know about it?" and I said wearily "I was just in an accident so thank you for helping me identify what the problem actually is", and went past the on-ramp into the parking lot of a fire hall right there that happened to also be a pokemon gym in my color. I sat for a moment, put a defender in the gym (thanks, random team instinct person, for having taken that gym half an hour previous, that cheered me up a bunch), and then got out of my car, found a work glove I knew I'd thrown in there, crawled under the car a bit, and tucked the muffler pipe up to sit on top of the catalytic converter so it wouldn't drag on the ground. (I don't know that the glove was necessary but I do know exhaust systems get real fuckin hot so i do recommend gloves if handling any of those parts on a car that's been running lately.)

It worked, it held, and I was like well. Car runs. Hood's all cattywumpus but it's definitely not going to fly open because it's literally crimped shut. Already had some front-end damage on this thing from an accident we mutually decided not to report a couple years back-- very minor but the plastic is cracked and the foglight mount damaged. Well now it's proper fucked, so that's fine. I was going to have to find a mechanic to repair the muffler assemblage anyway, it was already loud as fuck, so now it's just done with the polite fiction of being an exhaust system.

So I walked around the car, open and shut all the doors to make sure they still did, and then got in and got onto the Thruway. Fuck this shit, I was not going to drive back to the farm and then have to rely on a bunch of people of whom I'm slightly tired and who are clearly also slightly tired of me to have to ferry my ass around, and miss my extremely extremely necessary week off of work (because you know if I'm there I'm going to fucking do work on the farm, that's how it works, I have no boundaries).

All I wanted was to see a person (and cat) who actually enjoy my company and want to see me.

So I put in earplugs because the noise was not great, and drove 300 miles, and arrived just before dark, and pulled into the driveway and Chita was so surprised to see me that she came right out to me even though i was still sitting in my car. She doesn't like cars, hates them when they're moving and really doesn't like being in them, but she does like to sit under them when they're off.

[image description: a small gray cat with her paws up on the running board of a blue car, peering in the open driver's side door with motion-blurred interest; the foreground is my bare leg and the hem of my dress and my filthy car floor]

So I'm home, and I have already done all the awkward phone calls, and I was expecting I'd need to call the garage my insurance company has set up to do the assessing (that's how my insurance company does it) but the text of it says they'll call me. i still might call them midmorning today to see if they're open. IDK I don't even care what happens now, I'm home and I've had my own coffee and my cat missed me and my dude missed me and i'll just figure the rest out later.

[coloredincrayon]

Sdv bachelor(ette) headcanons

*SLIGHT PROFANITY WARNING*

-after a long day of writing Elliott likes to wind down by just laying in the middle of the floor, and because he’s used to living alone he still gets pleasantly shocked when you lay/cuddle next to him

-Elliott sometimes has meeting calls with publishers/editors or whatever. though he prefers to not be disturbed while on these calls, it’s not because he thinks he can’t work with any distraction, it’s cause he doesn’t want you/any other spouses seeing him gush about his significant other(s).

(For context I use the multiple spouses mod and always end up marrying Shane and Elliott.) -being married to two alcoholics has helped the farmer become unreasonable amounts of buff (from hauling them home) the farmers significant others, however, were not as aware of this as you’d think. So it’s only when the farmer beats Alex in about five arm wrestles at the luau do Elliott and/or Shane realize how absolutely horrifying this guy could be (or the opposite)

-Elliott swooned when the farmer was leaving the saloon with a drunken friend slung over their shoulder.

-though he won’t admit it, shane loves it when you come home all sweaty and dirty ‘n shit, then just bear hug him. He loves feeling that you’re real, all of this is real, and he loves that feeling coming from you.

(From my own personal experience) -penny has tried alcohol exactly one time. It was on her 21st birthday, and she had a single sip of wine. She immediately threw up, so with the combined rocky past and low tolerance, she then swore of alcohol.

-penny loves going back to the farmhouse after a day of tutoring Jas and Vincent and just sitting quietly in her little book nook. After a bit she is always pleasantly interrupted by the sound of the door opening and heavy boot steps walking in.

-after a bad day in the mines, Harvey refuses to leave your side. Though your wounds have healed he wants to make sure you don’t get anymore hurt in the foreseeable future. At nights he always seems to be grabbing for you, and near never letting go. Almost like he doesn’t believe you’re really there and okay.

-Sam once caused a power outage. Don’t really know how, just know he did.

-Alex loves to pamper you. Whether it be trying his hand at cooking, or coddling you ‘til nightfall, he loves to see you look relaxed and comforted.

-at some point soon after marriage, Maru asked for help bringing her ‘children’ from the mountains. Robots. They were robots.

-Leah was the only villager capable of beating Alex in an arm wrestle until the farmer arrived.

-Shane has gotten sick multiple times from falling asleep in the coop with the chickens.

Apologies for any typos, this was written on my iPad

[braveclementine]

Chapter 32

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC: Elizabeth Y/L/N (created so you don't get Y/N and Y/S/N consistently mixed up. I do not condone any copying of this.

YOU WENT LOOKING FOR YOUR MOTHER as the dinner came to a close. The wedding cake would be up soon and then the garter and flower toss which you were sure would embarrass Elizabeth greatly.

Your mother was with your father, and you heard their shouting before you saw them. They had closed themselves off in their bedroom so that the guests did not hear they were arguing.

"The farm was Y/N's!" your mother shrieked. You could tell she had been crying. "You are taking everything away from her!"

"No, I am not." Your father said, trying to keep his calm. "Y/N does not want the farm, she does not like the farm. Both of our daughters will be happier this way. Y/N will not have to keep the farm and Elizabeth will."

"Y/N was going to sell the farm you idiot!" Your mother shouted.

"I know." Your father said calmly. "Another reason I gave the farm to Elizabeth. This farm has been in our family for eight generations. There was no way I was going to let this farm be sold. And Y/N no longer needs any money she could have gotten from this farm. She's married to a billionaire, or did you forget?"

"You also took away her chance to get married first." Your mother snarled. "Do you not understand how the first child is supposed to work?"

"Why should Elizabeth always be put second?" Your father snapped. "Why? What's the point?"

"It's the way this world works." Your mother said. "I was a first child and I was always put first, the way that Y/N should always have been put first!"

"And I was born third." Your father said coolly. "And I know exactly how Elizabeth feels. You would never understand. You would never understand how it is to be second, to be looked at last, to be observed last, chosen last. I refuse to let our daughter go through that as well. That's why I fought it when she was growing up. And I cannot believe you are doing this on her wedding night!"

"It shouldn't be her wedding night." your mother sniffed. "It should be Y/N's."

"Well her wedding will be coming up very soon." Your father sighed. "So I don't know why it matters."

"Poli-"

"If you talk about how Polite Society will look down on us one more time I'm going to blow a fuse." Your father snapped. "Polite society hasn't done a damn thing for us, how many times to do I have to tell you? Politicians look down on farmers, you know how many times they've tried to take this farm from our family? You think we're poor? That's because they keep taxing us every cent that we make to try and get us to sell our farm! There's your polite society."

"I knew you should have gone and worked in the factory when you had the chance." Your mother sighed.

"Why should I give in? Why?" Your father snapped. "This is my father's father's father's father's farm. Eight generations. The Government has no right to take it from us!"

"But Y/F/N," Your mother sounded desperate. "I've gotten an amazing contract from this company. They'll pay us thirty million for the land!"

"Thirty million?" Your father sounded incredulous. "Only thirty million for eighty acres of land? You've got to be kidding me. What company?"

"TYPHON." Your mother said and your heart leapt in your chest.

"Absolutely not." Your father snapped. "That is not a company we'll be taking money from. They kidnapped and tortured Elizabeth."

Your mother was silent for a moment and then said, "I know. I told them where to find her."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

"Y/N, WHAT'S WRONG?" LOKI CAUGHT your arm as you rushed through the crowd. You felt sick and you had no idea who you were looking for. You had no idea if you wanted to tell Fury or not. And on Elizabeth's wedding night?

You bit your bottom lip, eyes darting around the crowd. "I- my mother. . . Come with me."

You dragged Loki far away from the party, deep into the woods. You were shivering as a cold wind started to blow and Loki took his dress jacket off to put it over your shoulders.

"Talk to me Y/N. I can't entirely read minds like Wanda." Loki said and looked back to the tent. "Should I go and get her?"

You shook your head. "No. I don't even know if I want to tell you. Not now. Not on Elizabeth's wedding night. I cannot ruin it. Please, you must ask me later. But I do want to tell you this much: it's about TYPHON."

"Are they here?" Loki asked, straightening up immediately, a dagger created from nothing in his hand.

"No." You shook your head, though you weren't sure if your mother was or not. Nor were you sure why TYPHON wanted to buy the farm. "I can't tell you all of it, because you'll freak and I can't have you freaking tonight. Not when you're supposed to be with Elizabeth. But for some reason, TYPHON wants to buy this farm. I'll tell Fury all the details when you go on honeymoon."

Loki hesitated and then dipped his head. "Fine. But I will want every detail when we get back."

You nodded. "I'll tell you. I promise."

Loki held his arm out. "Now, let's go back and enjoy the party."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

STEVE HAD GONE TO GET SAM AND BUCKY drinks so the two of them were sitting by themselves at one of the tables. Sam had handed Bucky back the jacket and Bucky was being quiet. One hand was under the table and Sam knew that his hand was in his pocket.

"Why'd you keep it?" Sam finally asked and Bucky looked up at him. "The figurine that she made you. Why'd you keep it?"

Bucky sighed. "I like it."

"I know Steve didn't keep his." Sam responded.

Bucky hesitated and then said softly. "Actually, he did."

"What?" Sam was shocked.

Bucky's eyes flickered to where Steve was still getting drinks. "Look, Sam-"

"You want her." Sam demanded. "I know you do. I've seen the way you looked at her. Why are you ignoring her?"

Bucky shook his head. "Can we not talk about it?"

"Why?"

Bucky sighed, "Look, it's just about something that Steve thinks, okay? Now can we drop it?"

Sam didn't want to drop it at all, but he watched Bucky clammed up, putting both hands on the table as Steve came over, handing drinks to them.

"Thanks Stevie." Bucky said, giving him a strained smile which Steve missed as he turned to give Sam his drink.

"Thanks Steve." Sam said softly, taking a huge sip. He'd make Bucky crack. He just needed to get him away from Steve.

"Hey buddy, we're heading out." Tony said, coming over and clapping him on the shoulder.

"You're sober." Steve noticed and Tony grinned.

"Well, I need to be sober tonight." Tony said, "You know the bonding and all of that." His smile slipped off his face a little. "Actually, I've sworn off drinking. I refuse to let a repeat of the club happen."

Steve stiffened a little and Sam stood. He hugged Steve first, "I'll see you guys when I get back."

"Don't have to much fun without us." Steve said, hugging him back tightly.

"I'll try." Sam said, hugging Bucky next. He looked at Bucky as he hugged him and then kissed him roughly. "Love you Buck."

"I love you too." Bucky murmured, kissing his jawline. "Now go have some fun."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

ELIZABETH WAS NERVOUS. SHE WAS wearing a light blue dress for the honeymoon. Tony would normally have booked a flight, but Stephen simply portaled them to the hotel in the Bahamas. She waited patiently as they checked in and she found that they were actually staying in a separate, rather expensive villa right by the ocean side.

"Come on sweetheart." Tony said as they filed out of the hotel, wrapping an arm around her waist.

She thought she was going to throw up.

These were all men who already had sexual experiences. And she knew absolutely nothing and had zero experience.

Tony and Stephen chatted easily with each other. She could sense that the two of them were happy and carefree. But she sensed something different from the other three. Loki was deep in a serious conversation with Hogun about something, which she couldn't hear. Sam looked lost in thought as well.

Her stomach turned again.

She yelped in surprise as Tony scooped her up in his arms to carry her over the threshold of the Villa. Once inside, the outdoors noises quieted a little and they all turned to her.

"How do you want to do this sweetheart?" Tony asked gently.

She blinked and then looked at Loki, "Is something wrong? You seem. . . distracted."

Loki winced a little and then after a slight hesitation admitted, "There might've been a new development with TYPHON."

"What?" Elizabeth and Sam asked.

Elizabeth was surprised. She'd though Sam was in deep thought over the same thing.

"When?" Tony asked, frowning.

"At the wedding." Loki shrugged. "Fury said he'd take care of it though, so we don't have to worry about it."

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth bit her bottom lip. "If there's danger-"

Loki shook his head. "There's no danger. It's more related to your actual farm than yourself. Or your family. Well, we've always said TYPHON had spreading branches. Y/N overheard your parents talking and your mother said TYPHON wanted to buy the farm. That's all. But it isn't necessarily because of you that they want the farm. They buy up properties everywhere. Y/N just wanted Fury to look into it to keep you safe."

"Oh." Elizabeth murmured, blushing, "Okay."

"So." Stephen asked softly. "How do you want us?"

Elizabeth blushed deeper, eyes flickering between everyone. "Can we all just. . . together and like, I don't know. . . see how it goes?"

"Sure." Hogun said softly, kissing her temple. "C'mon, leave your bags here."

Elizabeth blindly followed Hogun up the stairs, clutching her hand in his. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous, but she was shaking so hard that her teeth were chattering.

Or maybe she was just cold.

Oh wait- she couldn't get cold.

"Relax." Hogun whispered in her ear, which did nothing to help her relax as it sent goosebumps down her spine.

Elizabeth closed her eyes as the others moved around her. She relaxed and then she made the first move.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

ELIZABETH WAS STILL WEARING HER  wedding dress as she approached you. The sky was either a blinding white or a deep red, it didn't seem to be able to make up its mind.

The wedding dress was slightly different from what she'd actually worn. It was still white, but the design in the front was different. Instead of the two curves meeting in the middle, there were birds stitched into the silk fabric. And it wasn't as long, seeming to be ripped along the bottom, the edges black with dirt.

"Hello big sister." Her voice was pleasant and the sun shone through the clearing. Her brown hair was down, swirling around her in a way that should have been messy, but instead was flattering. She looked like either a goddess descended from the Heavens, or a devil risen from Hell.

"Elizabeth." You whispered back and went to step backwards, before you found that you were standing on the edge of the cliff. The Cliff.

"Did you come here to think?" Elizabeth asked softly. "I come here to think. I like to think about that time period, you see. I was just a little girl Y/N and you were so jealous."

"It was an accident." You whispered. "I never meant-"

"Lies." Elizabeth hissed, her eyes darkening into black tunnels. "Your mind was fueled with your mother's poisonous words. A mother that clearly wants me dead too. You're the little prize, just a trophy Y/N. A trophy for mother. Glorious Y/N, precious Y/N, perfect Y/N, beautiful Y/N. Ensnares all the soulmates so that they abandon the little stupid ugly sister. Well, imagine if you didn't exist."

"I never meant for them to not accept you." You whispered. "It's not like I told them to be cruel to you."

"But you stayed with them." Elizabeth pointed out, reverting back to an angelic phase.

"Of course I stayed with them!" You replied hotly. "They're mine."

You froze on your words. Steve and Bucky were not yours. Not really. They were supposed to be both yours and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth laughed and it sounded like a beautiful bird song. "You're completely right. They're yours. All yours Y/N."

And then she pushed you off the cliff. You screamed, your body twisting over so that you could see the crumpled, dead figures of Steve and Bucky at the bottom of the cliff.

"Y/N!"

Steve's voice jolted you straight out of bed and Bucky caught you with his hands. Both of them looked worried and you sunk into Bucky.

"It's okay doll." Bucky murmured, hugging you to him.

"Y/N," Steve's voice was soft, but also firm. "Look at me."

You looked at him and saw the serious caring face he was wearing. "It was just a nightmare." You croaked out.

"I know." Steve murmured, pulling you into his arms as well. "But I need you to look at me and tell me the truth."

"Okay?" You questioned, your heartbeat speeding up again. Had something happened?

"Are you scared of your sister?" Steve asked seriously.

You blinked, heart rate slowing down with the confusion you were feeling now. "Elizabeth? No, I'm not scared of her?"

"Y/N, you were shouting for her to stop in your sleep." Steve said gently. "You don't have to protect her just because she's your sister. If you're scared of her, if she's hurt you or if you're scared of her hurting you, we can take care of it."

You were flabbergasted and also guilty. The nightmares weren't from Elizabeth ever hurting you. They were a manifestation of your fears about something you'd done to her and were afraid of revenge for so long. But Elizabeth being Elizabeth had simply forgiven you with zero repercussions.

"She's never hurt me in my entire life." You explained.

"Clint said these dreams have been going on for a while though." Steve said with a frown. "Please Y/N, don't lie to me."

"I'm not!" You protested, shrugging out of his arms so that you could look at him better. "I would swear on a stack of Bibles Steve, she's never hurt me. I mean, besides our sword fights we had when we were kids, but that's it."

Steve looked uncertain, but he was clearly going to drop the conversation. He sighed and then nodded, "Alright."

You wished you could explain everything, but you didn't want them to look at you differently. It had happened when you were ten years old, there was no reason to bring it up now.

Or ever.

⬅️➡️

[salemcantupdate]

I think the issue with Shane is, instead of you inspiring him to fix himself, you just kinda end up being a crutch for him to lean on. Which isn't always a bad thing, but if that's what your friendship/relationship is built on... not very Healthy. This is coming from a Shane Fan.

I’ve just gotten past his heart event where he’s at the cliff. And I personally don’t think the Farmer is a crutch? Like, YOU aren’t the one to tell him he needs therapy, Harvey is. And he decides to go without your input.

To me, the best answer when he is on the cliff asking if he should just end it all, is to say “Whatever you choose, I am here for you.” Sometimes when you’re in that deep or a depression, you can’t stand on your own, there is no light. But if you can be 100% sure at least someone will be with you through it all, it can give you a lot of strength.

If anything, I think that it’s a mix of Jas, Marnie, the Farmer, Emily, and Harvey that helps Shane. Maybe that’s headcanon, but

Jas looks up to him and he doesn’t like her seeing him like this, Marnie gives him a place to stay even when he’s such a mess, the Farmer talks to him and works to befriend him, Emily is the person who dances with him at the flower dance (which I find significant, I fully think she wants to befriend him as well), and then Harvey is a doctor who cares and gives him the resources to get better (a therapist).

To me this story is all very strong, and I think the Farmer is important here for a very strict reason. Everyone other than the Farmer can easily have a “reason” to be nice to Shane. Jas and Marnie cause they’re family, Harvey cause he’s a doctor, and Emily cause her pay is based on Shane buying drinks and sticking around. She’s also famously friendly.

But what sours me is the fact that if you marry him, first of all his spouse room has beer cans (I can forgive messy, he is depressed - but beer????) and the fact that if the relationship goes poorly he legit goes back to drinking. I’m also not a fan of what I’ve heard of his 14 heart event in which the Farmer and Marnie doubt his commitment to not drink. It just bothers me a lot. I guess that does lean to your point though, since if his dedication to not drinking is based on his relationship with the Farmer…

Gah, this is why I feel so iffy about playing a route where I get with him. Bashing my head against the wall here

[gottagetshiver]

I'm gonna monologue about my Stardew fic for a bit here because goddammit, I can

This thing has a life of its own. I started writing it during a mental health crisis in April LMAO as one does, with just a handful of scenes in my head and a vibe I kind of wanted to follow, and now it's almost 70k of... I don't even know what. I feel like I have no control over these characters. I have started multiple Stardew save files since I started just to marry Shane over and over. I have installed a bunch of mods to give him more dialogue and cutscenes. I'm completely head over heels.

and like???? it's barely started. knowing where I want the plot to sort of go, this thing could easily get to 200k. like we're 70k in and these two dorks haven't even fucked yet. only in the last 3-4k have they even started being open about their feelings like. Properly. before that it's all just been pining and fighting. and we haven't even gotten to the angst yet. and if you've ever played Stardew, you know the angst of Shane's storyline.

It's also been a weird experience to write this because aspects of my own life have woven their way into it. I look at the way I've written Shane and I see parts of myself. I look at how I've written the farmer and see parts of myself, and while some of that was deliberate, a lot just... wasn't? it feels like I'm inadvertently exploring my own past and feelings and traumas writing them.

And I know that's not an unusual phenomenon, especially when working with more original characters, but it's something I haven't experienced since before I lost and then regained my ability to read and write and it feels so different now than it did 10/15 years ago. I feel possessed while I'm writing it.

I don't even know if I'm gonna end up sharing this publicly. I truly don't. It may just sit in my Google docs forever and haunt me.

anyways.

I feel insane.

that is all.

[o-avosetta]

Re: Coral Island 1.0

I've been playing Coral Island again after stopping earlier this year to wait for it to get to 1.0. It's been just the experience I hoped it would be.

I've already written about how much it feels like home, how refreshing it is to play a game so very clearly and lovingly inspired by maritime Southeast Asia. It feels even more so now, maybe because of where I'm playing.

I'm on December break, so I happen to be playing from my family's town, where I really can walk down to the beach and hunt for fresh urchins at low tide if I want. Mostly I walk out to a detached coffee stand much like Raj's (more of a hut than a stand, actually), admire my neighbor's dragonfruit vines on the way, and hope I get to say hi to dogs like the player gets with Bonbon and Taco. The town where I am has also gotten a lot more multicultural in recent years, so it really isn't a stretch that I'd run into people of different nationalities* and multiracial couples* and families in Starlet Town also. There's a Japanese man who set up an izakaya down the road from our place, and it's excellent.

[* Not to get into the sociopolitics of this, but maybe the fantasy of Coral Island for me is that none of the older white men are there looking for land to grab for their retirement and/or poor, younger, less educated women they can exploit as bangmaid brides.]

I don't looking forward to leaving town again, but I'm glad I'll have this game for a taste of home.

I'm only nominally a farmer, I think. Diving and clearing the sea has been my favorite activity in the game, and I think I'll continue even after I make the merfolk happy. I've been making decent money drying scallops and making kombu chips this Year 1 Winter, so making a living this way seems doable.

I've lamented elsewhere that farm life sim games set in seaside towns often forget how much the sea is part of the life of such a town — usually, such games make the ocean nothing more than another fishing spot. I love, love how much the ocean is very much a part of Coral Island. What happened to the ocean is why Starlet Town has been struggling lately. My progress underwater is tied to my progress overall. Merfolk have their own town, and I can befriend/date them; they aren't just blink-and-you-miss it sprites to liven up a fishing session. I still have a lot of seafloor to clear, so I guess I'll see if the ocean endgame is any good later. But just the fact that Stairway Games devoted this much of the game to the sea really touches me.

(I fucking love the ocean, okay? In another life, I was going to get a marine science degree right here in my family's town. But noooo, I decided to try being a writer, lol.)

As for dating, I'm not in a rush to woo any particular townie. There are almost too many attractive people in this game. So I just work on my farmer and on healing the island, and I let relationships develop naturally. Run into a townie? Stop and talk to them. Hand them a jepun blossom or a mushroom or a jar of jam. See whose stories and personality make me want to keep running into them once the first blush is past.

I've reached the winter, though, so I do have some clear favorites now.

I don't know if I want to marry Dr. Yuri, be her best friend, or be her. I just think she's so cool — the coolest person on the island even. I think I relate to her coming to the country after her adventures abroad and trying to do the best she can for the people around her. Maybe I want to be with another me-in-another-life, idk (after marine biologist and before writer, my next aspiration was pediatrician).

Mark recently won a popularity contest in the player community, and it's not hard to see why. In games like this, any scarred dateable who starts off gruff or mean is basically cotton candy left out for player ants. I haven't checked yet, but I'm willing to bet his dog-feeding cutscene launched a thousand fics ("Good girl" — woof). (Either that or something something garden rake up the ass something something.) Mostly I like him because he's the only one who actually seems to banter with the player, and he looks big and cuddly like my SO.

Chaem is the other initially aggressive character, and I think I like her, too. I was actually put off at first; in early access, she was only an aloof jock who was pretty focused on her workouts and her sport, not outright mean. I don't remember her being this rude to my farmer when I met her pre-1.0. Then I had a little think about why one would let Mark be a little mean to them but not Chaem. What do you know, getting to know her makes her warm up to you also.

I like Theo because he just gives off vibes that I need in my life.

Who else? I think I will always have a soft spot for Surya because he was my first crush in early access, and though the attraction has waned this go-round, I still want to be his friend. I want to be Eva's friend mostly because one of my friends really likes her. I want to be Lily's friend because I just want to know all about her and her bonsai. I haven't made enough progress with the merfolk yet, but I have a major crush on Princess Miranjani. (Agung, what we could've had if the devs hadn't baited and switched you with Semeru, hayy.)

Ah, and as usual, I have made it a personal mission to make the town grandma love me. Betty, I'm saving all my flowers for you, mano po, paturo naman po ng recipe sa mooncake.

Okay, I'm out of thoughts now; time to grab my diving suit again.

[gamingtrashbasin]

HIMBOS TO HUSBANDS

Downloaded the Ridgeside Rival Hearts mod to set Alex and Jeric up and now it's canon in my brain, I'm so excited for them to live happily ever after 🤧

[haila-wetyios]

I come from a third world country. Which makes it easy for peeps from the first world to have several misconceptions about living conditions or even where I am (my favourite is the one where they think Nicaragua is located in Africa, or me being Russian).

That said, my husband (who I now believe is the saint of patience in disguise) has done his best in the 10 years we've been together to try and at least explain to his family that no, I don't live in a hut, unaware of all commodities and twiddling my thumbs, trying to marry him to get a visa and dump him right away. Or that yes, there's several towns at my country with rich agriculture but all are modern enough that you won't feel like you're in the end of the world or in some random mountain in your tent (unless of course, you really wanted to go camping to all our green areas).

We got a half assed functioning capital city, we only have Summer all year round, and greens and dairy products are so rampant that there's tons of cheeses that I can't smuggle out to my friends because they come with zero preservatives and maybe some extra seasoning from the farmer hand that handled them that had no time to wash it before we got it.

We lack a few of the fancier things in current modern society yes (as in, old models of several things), but it reflects mostly in the lack of manners and survival of the fittest practice that we have to deal with on a daily basis against each other. And of course, the government insisting on getting the country to crumble from the inside and the oppression of those against it, but that's a topic for a different writing.

This of course, has not gotten through my dear mother in law's head, and now that I'm staying for a brief period of time with them to get the hang of Canada, everyday is a very wild day of hot takes from her strange assumptions about me, or the way she handles things in general. Here are some of them:

"That's a train! Have you ever seen/been on a train before?"

"Oh I just got organic milk! It's good for your body. Have you ever had organic milk?"

Asking which Canadian brand I have never heard off I would like for certain groceries.

Going through roads I've only seen once since first arriving and asking if they're familiar to me.

"OH I HAVE TO TEACH YOU HOW TO USE THE TV" *proceeds to press the ON button and tell me to choose Netflix on the menu*

Suggesting that since they got a bag full of toothpaste, lotions, deodorants and so on, that I could grab those and make small packets to bring back to gift to my friends and co-workers at home.

Being very confused as to why I would take a walk around the neighbourhood without my husband, who is chilling playing games and letting me do my own thing.

Asking my husband why I didn't cook him breakfast instead of us sharing duties on breakfast prepping.

Asking if I've ever had cheese from Portugal often (it's always a new different brand).

"Y'KNOWWHATIMEAN?" x8 times (minimum) to me during the day.

Trying to get me to agree that the current weather is blazing hot while I'm wearing at least 2 jackets.

Being very confused when I mentioned my parents went out on a fishing trip, asking why if our house 'is right next to the sea' (we live in the city).

Insisting that I accept several cloth donations.

Insisting that my family take several cloth donations.

Asking in different words if I've ever had boiled eggs???

Losing her mind when I mentioned we don't have sweet potatoes at home.

Being shocked that we grow our own herbs in the backyard (parsley, thyme, etc etc).

Now just in case, this doesn't upset me as much as it amuses me at this point. We deal with too much shit at home for misconceptions to get to me. But those are only the tip of the iceberg of everything I've seen and heard in roughly a week of being around. And I do have to admit, I'm both wondering while also being terrified of whatever misconception comes next. I've had several moments of giving the benefit of the doubt and my dear mother in law grabs those, and throws them into a home run far, far away.

She loves me and changing the way she thinks is definitely impossible. So just gotta take the list of things and roll with them I guess. In her eyes, I either popped out of thin air, or have been living in Canada for a long while, there's no in between image of me

[oiladgivememoney99]

NSP Rewrite, Humans, Refuted

Cory yawned as he stumbled into the briefing room of his team’s quarters, everyone having already gotten there before him. Including Triana who had called the meeting.

“Finally, there you are Private,” Triana sighed as the man entered the room.

“The best for last!” Cory laughed, no one else did. “What did you call us here for?”

“Well first off; we have gained a new Private in this task force,” Triana motioned towards a young man with short, orange hair. “Johnson, introduce yourself,”

“Hi everyone, this is uh… my first mission, so I’m a little nervous,”

“Ah you’ll be fiiiine… probably,” Scott reassured as he patted the man on the shoulder.

“I give him one day,” Nikole whispered to Cory.

“Oh, don’t be such a nihilist,”

“Thank you Johnson; now second off is we have a new misson,” Triana cleared her throat. “Evidence of instances of SCP-3199 have been reported within rural Ireland. These creatures can prove incredibly hard to contain if allowed to reproduce, we’ll have to move quick,” Triana said as she prepared to leave the room to the helipad on the roof. “I’ll explain more on the ride there,”

Speaking of the ride there it was… pretty uneventful, just Triana explaining that these things laid eggs like crazy, and other boring stuff that nearly made Cory fall asleep; though a small nudge from Hooper kept him up.

“Th-This thing sounds really dangerous,” Johnson mumbled.

“Most of everything we contain is; we do this so no one else has to, remember that Private,” Triana stared the ginger man down.

“I will ma’am!” He saluted as the helicopter landed in a nice green field.

Triana tapped the headset on her head. “Bluejay, general direction of the farm that reported the Skip?”

Everyone’s headset beeped and Lara spoke. “A couple kilometres north, shouldn’t be too long to get there,”

“Great, follow me all of you,”

The crew wandered, Johnson a little more shakily than the rest.

“Hey New Guy!” Cory greeted, the ginger turned to look at him.

���Y-Yeah?”

“Don’t worry too much about your first mission, LT likes to overhype the danger of things so that we don’t good off,” Cory explained.

“Not really,” Hooper butted in. “These things are still pretty damn dangerous,”

“I-I know, I’ll do my best,”

“Good to hear, you’d be better than Cory anyways,” Hooper chuckled.

“Hey! I haven’t fallen asleep during a briefing in like… one whole week!”

“Only cause I woke ya up,”

“You two, quit fighting like a married couple, we’re here,” Triana snapped her fingers. Cory felt his face get a touch warm (from embarrassment, duh,) as his argument was interrupted. Nikole smirked as the crew stopped outside of a rinky dink wooden farmhouse.

“S-Sorry ma’am!” Hooper apologised.

An old man, probably the farmer who owned the house walked out and greeted the agents.

“Good day youse, heard ye were gonna come help me with this ol monster problem,”

Cory squinted as the man spoke barely understandable English, Triana cleared her throat.

“Yes sir, that’s what we’re here for. Where did you first see this ‘Monster?’”

“Aye, ran straight into me chicken coop boy, started screamin’ as it ate ‘em alive!” The Irishman waved his hands around. “Then it headed off into the wilderness as I waved me shotgun around at it, the cowardly shitstain!”

“We understand your frustration, sir, thank you for your time,” The rest of the crew nodded as they prepared to leave for the wilderness.

“Aye thank you boy, ‘specially since yer not makin’ me pay a cent for this,”

“So, how long are we gonna be wandering this uh… bumfuck nowhere?” Nikole both asked and complained in one sentence.

“Until we find any-” Triana was interrupted by footsteps, not exactly human footsteps, but not different enough to be some wild animal.

“Detecting multiple instances of SCP-3199 in the nearby area,” Lara called out over the radio, sounding like she had turned pale. “Stay safe,”

“We will,” Triana reassured. “Let’s split into groups of three. Cory and Hooper, you two are coming with me,”

“Yes ma’am,” Hooper saluted.

“Sure thing LT,”

“Good, we’ll be searching around this area, the rest of you will set up point defense here, am I understood?”

“Y-Yeah!” Johnson said as the other two nodded.

“Great, I don’t want any screwups, especially from you, Sergeant,” The Lieutenant scowled.

“I haven’t even done anything ya Drone…” Nikole grumbled under her breath. “Sure thing, Boss,”

“Good, let’s get moving team!” She ordered as Her group walked into the wilderness ahead…

“Ugh… this is gonna get boring,” Nikole complained.

“Oh come on, boring point defence is better than scary deathy point defence,” Scott chuckled as he set up some barriers. “Johnson, help me set up these barriers.

“Ah, sure things Sir!” Johnson quickly ran over to help set up the defences in the… well point they were defending.

“Don’t be all formal and junk, dude, just call me Scott,” The unironic frosted tips haver smiled “What’s your first name anyway?”

“Oh uh, sorry… it’s Mark,”

“Nice to meetcha, Mark!” Scott shakes the Private’s hand. “That whiney old dog is Nikole,”

“I’m only 38!” Nikole argued as she took a swig from her flask. “The smoking just makes my hair grey is all,”

“Didn’t deny the whining,” Scott chuckled, Johnson did too…

“East,” Lara called over the radio, guiding the three MTF that had elected to search for the Skips.

“So uh… what do these things do anyway?” Cory asked as he followed the Lieutenant Eastwards.

“They vomit acid and lay eggs like crazy, if we don’t deal with them now they could spread all throughout the local area,” Triana warned. “Don’t goof off on this mission, Cory,”

“I wasn’t gonna…” Cory mumbled.

“Are we gonna be destroyin’ these eggs, LT?”

“Yes, I have Cyro grenades on me to prevent the eggs from hatching, they become vulnerable under extremely low temperatures,” Triana explained.

“Are we-”

“Yes we’re transporting them,” Triana interrupted the Private. “It’ll be fine as long as we don’t screw u-”

Something skittered through the grass, multiple somethings in fact; multiple human sized somethings if we’re being specific.

“Shit,” Triana tapped her headset. “Calling reinforcements 30 clicks East, defensive positions, multiple instances of- agh!”

Triana, Cory and Hooper all ducked behind a nearby tree as the creature spat a glob of acid at them. Cory managed to get a good look at the creature: Huge hairless pale creatures, with fat bodies and chicken like arms, their mouths were melted making their gums visible.

“Oh Jeez,” Cory whispered.

“Johnson and Kaminski are heading to your location now,” Lara announced. “They’ll be there soon,”

“Alright, we’ve been instructed to terminate these things on sight,”

“Got it,” Johnson affirmed.

“How many exactly are in the area, Bluejay?”

“Three-”

Lara was interrupted by one of the creature screaming, no screeching in utter agony as a red acid poured out of its mouth.

“Soon to be four if we don’t deal with them fast,” Triana said. “We fire on them the instant reinforcements get here, got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” Cory and Hooper saluted.

Johnson and Nikole got there not soon after she said that, Nikole wielding her revolver and Johnson wielding a shotgun.

The three creatures looked over at the duo as Triana’s group jumped from behind the tree.

They rained hell on the creatures, managing to take down two near instantly before-

“AGHHH!” Johnson screamed as a glob of acid melted his arm, he fell straight to the ground; Cory ran over to go help him.

“Cory! What the hell are you doing?” Triana ducked behind the tree as she fired upon the last couple Skips

“Johnson? C’mon get up buddy you’re gonna make it,” Cory tried to reassure as he rapidly looked around to see-

The bloodied creature, riddled with holes looking right down at him; Cory froze as the thing slowly opened its gaping mouth, pouring out.

THUNK

Cory felt himself weakly being pushed to the ground, the acid vomit completely missed him and hit Johnson instead, right in the chest.

“J-Johnson?”

BANG

Johnson blew the things chest clean out, then instantly collapsed to the floor; a grimacing, pained smile on his face as he bled out.

“Johnson?”

There was nothing coming from the ginger man anymore. The rest of the crew all looked over at the half melted body, most looked with sorrow or confusion; Cory looked with grief, he felt tears begin to prick in the corner of his lens.

“A-Alright team, I’ll call the helicopter and we’ll take these eggs to the nearest site,” Triana said, quieter than usual.

“That’d be…” Cory didn’t bother to finish.

Cory sat in the lounge of his barracks alongside the rest of hiis team, hours after the team had gotten home from their mission. He stared into space thinking about Johnson… about how he had failed.

“Alright, it took me awhile, but I managed to get everything set up,” Triana announced as she walked out from a door, probably leading to a spare room.

“Set up what?” Cory asked.

“We like to hold funerals for the people we’ve lost in this unit, The Foundation doesn’t hold any official funeral services of its own,” Triana explained.

“Oh that’s… sucky,” Cory looked down.

“How many of these have ya held?” Hooper asked.

“Too many, heh,” Scott nervously laughed.

Lara stayed silent alongside Nikole who took a swig from her flask.

Everyone followed Triana into the spare room, within it was a podium with a framed picture of Johnson’s face, candles were lit next to it.

Triana went up to the podium first.

“Y’know I always think I’m prepared for these, but then you set up the picture and… I’m already… nevermind,” Triana cleared her throat. “We didn’t have Johnson in our team for very long, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’ve all lost a man today. As the Lieutenant of this task force I sometimes fall into the habit of viewing people as assets, not well… people, but then someone dies, dies under my watch and it all comes to me,”

Scott went up next.

“Johnson was a good kid, just wanting to make his superiors proud; I think we’re all like him in a way y’know?” The big guy cleared his throat. “I think the best way we can remember him is by being proud of all he did for this whole team,”

Then Lara.

“I… suck at these,” Lara sighed. “None of us really knew Johnson very well, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t honour his memory, what little of it we- I shouldn’t say that,”

“It’s alright, Lara,” Triana smiled.

“Thanks Tri,”

Cory felt his breathing get heavier and heavier as Hooper walked up to the podium.

“We lost not only a good asset today, but a good man too. Johnson gave everythin’ for us, and the best we can do is remember him,”

Cory felt the air get heavy, he couldn’t take it, he couldn’t fucking take it he had failed Johnson and that was that.

He ran as fast as he good, he didn’t deserve to be at the funeral of the person he failed.

“Huh, guess it got too much for him,” Triana said, the whole team was looking at the door that Cory had ran out of.

“Stay here y’all,” I’ll deal with it,” Hooper walked out the same door.

Cory sat on his bed, head in his hands as he thought about how many people he had failed: Uni, Cooper… and now Johnson, probably a whole host of other people too, he really was the biggest failure of all tim-

“Hey Cory,” The soft voice of Hooper pierced Cory’s thoughts. “You alright?”

“Huh? Hey Hooper…” The blonde mumbled. “I… I failed Johnson today, if I had just gone in front of him he would’ve-”

“He pushed ya to the ground for a reason, Cory,” Hooper sat down next to the Camera Faced Man. “He was givin’ his life for ya,”

“I- I know I just don’t understand wh-”

“I don’t understand it neither, alls I know is that givin’ your life for your fellow man,” Hooper looked up at the roof for a minute. “That’s just about the best thing any man can do, ya gotta appreciate someone willing to do that,”

“I… yeah, yeah I do,” Cory smiled. “Thanks Hooper,”

“Anythin’ for a friend, Cory,”

[memethebum]

Here’s chapter 2 of The Lover’s Almanac!!

This one is basically more married fluff and then Maka trying to cheer up her gray-ace hubby while dealing with her own shit

————————————————————————

Maka had been wondering if she’d truly woken up every single day for a month now. She and Soul had shared a bed multiple times over the years, but it seemed to carry a different weight now that she lived with him and the entire town considered them newlyweds.

She’d catch some girls sending her dirty glares from behind the small alleyways lining the town, but that only appeared to solidify her fantasy of the entire agreement being real and not just an elaborate favor.

“Rise and shine, my beautiful wifeee. Ya’ got a big day today,” Soul announced from the kitchen, causing Maka to jump up from the warmth of their bed.

It’s not like me to wake up after Soul the young woman thought before hearing her husband clatter a few dishes around while preparing breakfast.

“Hm?” she mumbled as she pushed the bed covers aside and sauntered towards the kitchen where Soul was sliding a spatula around a wide cast-iron skillet.

“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner! I was the one in charge of making breakfast today, remember?” the young woman pouted before watching her husband raise his shoulders into a shrug.

“Don’t worry bout’ it. I know you wash up fast, so hurry before your eggs are done cooking,” he added while turning back and flashing Maka a shark-toothed grin, probing the young woman to roll her eyes at how blatant his concern for her business agenda was.

“Fineeee,” Maka sighed before giving Soul a quick kiss on his stubbled jawline and running out towards their well.

She hastily jogged back afterwards to a large plate of bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy situated on the kitchen table for her.

“Oh, you made such a large spread today!” the young woman hummed in gratitude while taking her fork and greedily picking up some of the contents.

“Glad you’re enjoyin’ it. So uh…what do you have to do today,” Soul asked in between a large bite of his biscuit.

He sure didn’t waste any time asking Maka thought to herself before wondering if there was anything Soul could do that wouldn’t make her swoon in place.

“I’m planning on delivering the request form for Mister Deathman to the post office first before scoping out the vacant building again,” she added while pouring Soul a glass of apple juice and watching him eagerly reach out for it with a muffled thanks.

“Doesn’t sound too bad. Buttt, knowin’ you it probably feels like walking on eggshells,” Soul sighed, probing Maka to let out a huff in agreement.

She then felt her husband gently rest his palm ontop her hand.

“Butttttt I also know you well enough to see how many times you’ve walked into something and not gave a damn about what anyone thinks of you, so I’m absolutely certain you can do this,” he added as Maka took a minute to mull over his words before eventually giving him an enthusiastic grin.

———————————————————————

“Looking for something miss?” a man called out as Maka gazed through the thin film of dust upon the building’s windows.

“Oh, um I was just…curious about the interior of the building,” she yelped before looking up and noticing that the man who’d called out to her was Noah, the owner of the single pawn shop in Death Valley.

“Oh right, it’s been a while since I’ve had a neighbor,” Noah then added while letting out a low chuckle.

“Hmm, well you may be in luck. My husband has plans of opening up something more…innovative in our town,” Maka replied, earning her a hum from the man.

“So Solomon Evans plans on being both a successful farmer and businessman, eh? Seems as if men are made with the need to acquire more, although that’s gotten much harder with all these new laws popping up,” Noah then mumbled as the young woman felt her shoulders begin to slump at his words.

“R-right, of course. Well, I’d better go help him with the fields. You have a good day Mister Noah,” Maka whispered while turning away from the empty building.

“Ah, newlyweds and you’re already such a dutiful wife! I’ll leave you to it, and tell Solomon that I wish him good luck,” Noah exclaimed before allowing Maka to walk through the remainder of town and onto the packed dirt road which led to Soul’s farm.

Men they say. As if it’s a crime for a woman to have some god damn dreams of her own without already knowing how competitive it is to do business at all these days!!! Maka internally fumed while feeling a wave of anxiety begin to suffocate her mind after realizing that her dreams could be squashed in mere moments if one of Mr. Deathman’s associates tossed her proposal into a trash bin with the letters of other men meaning to do business with him.

“Don’t make me regret selling you some of my farmland Evans!” the young woman then heard a voice shout from outside Soul’s house, probing her to let out a groan in agitation once noticing her papa standing a few feet away from the dwelling.

“It’s technically me and my wife’s land now,” Soul chuckled as Maka came closer towards the two men and felt them both flinch from her sudden presence.

The young woman couldn’t help but let out a muffled yelp of her own once noticing how Soul was very much sweaty and shirtless from a few hours of harvesting his fields.

“Maka angel!! I’d just come by to see if this brute is treating you well only to find out you’d been-“

“Yes Papa, me and my husband are fine,” Maka added before bashfully walking closer towards Soul and allowing him to bend down and give her a peck on the cheek as a greeting.

She then let out a muffled giggle once noticing how her papa appeared to be instantly fuming from their display of affection.

“You-you crass heathen! How dare you put your dirty lips near my Maka with nothing but a pair of flimsy pants-“

“Oi Soul, we’re done with the potatoes!” a voice then shouted from behind the trio, probing them to turn around and notice Liz, Patty, and Kilik walking in their direction.

“Alright, thanks Liz! You guys abouta’ take your break right now?” Soul replied as Spirit continued to glare in his direction.

“Sure are. I hope we didn’t interfere with a family meeting,” Kilik added while Patty let out a quick snort at the insinuation.

“Oh no no, I was just about to leave,” Spirit added before rushing over to Maka and extending his arms as a request for a quick hug.

The action caused Maka to regard her papa with a small smile and then melt into his embrace.

“I’m trying not to be so angry sweetie, but watching you suddenly get married after swearing to only devote time for your dream is sort of…troubling,” Spirit whispered before turning on his heel and staring Soul directly in the eyes.

“This probably goes without saying, but…you’d better keep supporting my Maka any way you can, a-and that doesn’t mean fulfilling your marital duties if that’s what your perverted mind-“

“Papa, I told you we’re fine. Now stop pestering Soul and go back to your own farm,” Maka quickly added while pushing Spirit away from her husband, although she could already see the way Soul’s expression had deflated after her papa had brought up the topic.

Well, I suppose that ruins any chances of me coming clean to Papa about all this Maka thought to herself as she glanced at Spirit’s furrowed eyebrows and then back at Soul.

“We’d better get going as well. See you two in a few hours!” Patty added, causing Soul to give the group a weak smile as they walked away from the house.

Maka then waved her hand in a quick farewell before letting out a low sigh and encircling her fingers around her husband’s sweaty palm.

“Soul…I’m sorry Papa brought something like that up-“

“It’s ok, it’s not like the old man was gonna

stop badgering my ass just because I don’t work for him anymore,” Soul added before regarding her with a small smile, although Maka was able to see right through the mask he’d put up everytime she’d worry about his feelings instead of it being the other way around.

“Still, I’m absolutely certain you’ll find someone who’ll love you regardless of how eager you’d be to do the deed of darkness,” Maka added before feeling her heart race at the small giggle the young man let out afterwards.

Even if that person isn’t me she mentally lamented while noticing how Soul had started gazing at her when she didn’t let out a few giggles as well.

“Let’s…go take care of the corn before the others come back,” Maka then added as she pulled Soul onto the path leading towards the fields.

[chiriwritesstuff]

Chiri’s Fic Updates (& whatnot) for 2024!

Hi guys!

Since we are now in the thick of 2024, I thought it was time to address a few things in regard to my works - I put out… 5 different series? In 2023 and added 3 in 2024. I wanted to touch base with you all in what I currently have planned for 2024. My thoughts are kinda all over the place but I'll try to make it make sense (lol).

Planned fics

'My Wife in IT' - The sequel to 'The Girl in IT' is set to start shortly after we conclude 'The Girl in IT'. It's inevitable that Joel and Sugar are to be married - it's listed (kinda) in Joel's list, and I thought it would be a good idea for Sugar to have a list of her own! I'm really excited to start planning it - I'm wondering if I should crowdsource Sugar's list with the readers as a thanks for all of the love and support that 'The Girl in IT' has received! I'll probably be posting a poll shortly!

'A Bounty Hunter Walks into a Cantina' (rough working title) is the Din Djarin equivalent to 'The Girl in IT' with a "Mr. & Mrs. Smith' twist - it's very early in development and I am debating if I should make it a Modern Din story over a Star Wars universe one.

Current Fics & Series

'The Girl in IT' - I am floored at the response that this little series got! I am 100% committed to see it through and finish. I have a rough timeline and chapter list - no more than 10 chapters (9 main chapters and 1 epilogue/teaser).

'Meet Me at the Farmers Market' - I think that I will still continue the series but it won't be updated as frequently. I had intended the series to only run for the holidays, so I tried to give Joel and Sunflower a resolution / happy ending before the year ended. I still have a few ficlets that I want to post to supplement the series - and will try to post them in the coming weeks.

'Call it Karma, Call it Fate' - Should be completed by the end of January.

On Hiatus (or slated to be canceled)

First and foremost, I have decided to put my earlier works - ‘Our Violent Hearts’ (Joel), and ‘The *** Diaries’ on indefinite hiatus. Honestly, if I could eradicate OVH from existence I would, only because I feel like my writing has gotten better and OVH was written and planned so poorly that I want to get rid of it, so if you notice it gone from my masterlist, this is why. Honestly, I had good intentions when I conceptualized it but my heart is just not in it to finish.

With ‘The *** Diaries’, I wanted to try something different, but it ended up being more work than what I was willing to put out, so for now, I have no intention to move forward with it.

‘The Impossible Man’ (Din) is on hiatus, but with one more chapter to go, I might just bite the bullet and finish it, but only when I have some time to do so. I hope to get it done by the end of the first quarter.

'A Woman Under The Influence' will also be going on a small hiatus - I love the concept of the story but didn't realize how daunting it is to write a story set in the Star Wars universe. There is a lot of research and planning that goes with it, and it can be quite overwhelming.