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ruleofbirds · 7 months

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𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚕𝚘𝚐_𝟶𝟷.𝟷

Kia Ora, Te Ao!

Hello, World! It's official - Robbie has a tumblr now. Absolutely unfathomable. Honestly, it's mostly because it was this or Wordpress (or a more obscure indie dev forum) and this seemed the most accessible and quirky. I'm sure this won't lead to another awful endless scrolling habit. Any advice for the visual side of things is warmly received! I want this blog to be a fun part of the week, because a lot of fun will be had developing RoB. Just realised that acronym happens to be my name. Could be worse.

Okay! Now that the initial ramble into the void is out of the way, it's time to get into the c o n c e p t.

This tumblr is a devlog for my NZ ecosystem simulator currently titled "rule of birds", which I will be working on for the next 8 weeks as part of Blackbird Foundation's "Protostars" program. This means a weekly check-in with the other creatives in the program, the organizers at Blackbird, and a post for all of you here.

I'm breaking this week's post into 3 sections just to cover the bases;

01.1 -a bit about my creative practice and how it led to this project

01.2 -a discussion of "flocking" in programming (using p5.js)

01.3 -a discussion of NZ natural history

So here's the intro post, where I ramble about myself for a sec.

So! basically, I specialize in spatial design, I love working with anything nature-related, and I want to make a video game.

Lately I've been on a tangent based around art in NZ's cultural context - the design principles behind whakairo (Maori woodcarving) and how their composition conveys meaning, how histories of spirituality, tribal and colonial relations affected design, and my own art interpreting my natural surroundings with photography and charcoal drawing. I can neither confirm nor deny whether there will be an art zine compiling a wee bit of this work on the community table at the Whanganui Zinefest this Saturday.

That tangent branched off into a focus on natural history that's the keystone of rule of birds. My motivation for focusing on an ecosystem simulator is to articulate a basis for the sort of games I want to come out of Aotearoa. The sim will be the proof of concept - and I suppose this blog will be the manifesto.

I feel like there's a massive demand for games exploring NZ history - like, imagine a big-budget maori-led release set in pre-colonial time, with all the unique aspects of survival, resource management and day to day activity that involved - or an assassin's creed type action game based during the time of Te Kooti. It goes unsaid that Kupe is one of the best parts of Sid Meier's Civilization VI - iykyk.

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What I think separates a good game from a great one is how alive the virtual world feels - rather than being led through an a-to-b progression of events presented in the same visual style I've seen countless times before, if the world can react in a dynamic way, and the details in the background are crafted to feel organic and immersive, I'm going to want to stop and wander off the beaten track that an objective marker may be pointing me towards.

The last game that caught my attention in this way - and coincidentally the one that made me want to put my coding knowledge to the test with gamedev - was, of course, Rain World. To everyone who knows me, I'm sure you're surprised I've made it three paragraphs without bringing this game up. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, because there is *a lot*, but key points are you are one creature among many scavenging for food in a brutal biomechanical ecosystem, hibernating between cycles of cataclysmic rain, and the game plays like basically nothing else due to how the coded behaviour of every entity in the world follows its own logic that has much more to do with its own survival than the experience of you as a player.

Here's a nice little illustration of the physics behind a movement-sensing tentacle monster, to give a sort of discrete example - but the creatures that act according to behavioural karma systems and the dynamics of how the different lizards scuffle and coordinate with each other is worth looking into too, if this is your thing.

(Source: GDC, Curious Archive)

Now, I really want to jump into some of this behavioural coding stuff, so I'm just going to move on to collecting things for the next post - hope this has been an interesting read! if you somehow found this page in your tumblr algorithm, welcome! I'll also be posting bits on the instagram page @robbiek_devlogs and you can check out my other work on my main insta @robbiek_art

Hei kōnā mai,

Robbie K

Next up: simulation in coding, natural history research post #1

Next week: Adventures in Godot Engine!

#natural history #programming #indiedev #birds #gamedev #devlog #Youtube

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onyx-archer · 1 year

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Some Thoughts on Luz Noceda, and How Some Critics Don’t Get Her Arc.

I’ve been kicking around the idea of doing some sort of post about The Owl House for a while, and now that it’s over, I have a lot of thoughts on it. Specifically, I have a lot of thoughts on the series’ protagonist, Luz Noceda. Obviously, I’m going to be talking about spoilers for the series, so if you haven’t watched it, or are just not finished with the series yet, don’t read this. I just have a collection of thoughts and opinions about aspects of the show I want to put out there. More under the cut.

To start, I wanted to actually talk about Luz as a character, because I think there are certain critics *coughcoughLilyOrchardcoughcough* that don’t really get the issue with Luz’s arc, and how it likely was intended to come across. In particular, the small crowd of people who think that Luz feels like a different character starting in Season 2B, but I don’t think that’s really the case. Well, I sort of do, but I see it as a development based change that was affected by the cancellation, rather than a flaw in the writing.

Luz’s character, throughout the first Season, is somewhat static. Sure, she does experience some development, all characters do to some extent after all, but she isn’t on a specific path of development. As many characters in the series would likely point out, just as the critics of Luz’s depressive spiral do constantly, Luz in the first season is the character that largely facilitates change in others, rather than being the one who experiences a ton of growth herself. Early-series Luz is functionally the match to light the fuse that is the character development for characters like Eda, Amity, and to a small extent in the beginning, King. The show outright says in Season 2′s first episode that Luz made Eda’s life better, and Amity’s affection for her is rooted in how Luz inspired her to be a better person. I’d go as far as to say that King wouldn’t be able to deal with his lack of living biological family if not for Luz’s influence on him, with his older sister figure truly helping him come to value Eda and Luz as his family being a cornerstone of King’s growth as a character.

Season 1′s conclusion works because it’s really the first time where Luz’s more reckless behavior bites her in the ass. Luz feels she is at least partially responsible for Eda losing her magic, and it’s obvious that it weighs heavy on her heart, even with Eda’s assurance it’s not her fault, because it’s the kind of person she is. We don’t see her really have to come to grips with her actions having consequences for a long while because most of those consequences get undone or aren’t really worth worrying about. Then her mentor and second maternal figure loses her magic, and Luz had to sacrifice her only way home to help her. Luz has an emotionally tangible reminder of her actions, and this obviously has a negative impact on her.

Remember, Luz is a bundle of creative energy, and is misunderstood because of how she expresses herself. It’s the only other instance where her behavior has a form of consequence, as she was being sent to a camp to “correct” the issue... but then a magic door happened and she didn’t have to face that responsibility. She could shrug off the consequences, and if things got too bad, she could always just go back to the Human Realm for a bit. She was never placed in a situation where she’d have longstanding consequences for her actions until “Young Blood, Old Souls.” Her actions made her an easy target for Lilith to draw in Eda, who would lose her magic trying to save Luz, which while not entirely her fault, she still feels responsible because Eda was only in that situation because of her existence on the Boiling Isles to begin with. Sure, Eda would have to eventually be put in a similar spot, but with the added context of Luz’s Dad being dead, and still being a sore spot for her due in part to being so young, yeah, of course she’s going to feel responsible.

Luz paid the price of her desire to become a witch when she had to give up her only way home to save someone she cares about. Even if it meant never seeing her mother again. Her actions expedited Eda’s curse reaching it’s final stages, and while Eda’s no longer in immediate danger because of her being able to save her from petrification, it’s still something she feels she has to take responsibility for. Why? Because she gave up her ability to go back to the Human Realm, potentially forever. In that moment, she had to make a choice, and that choice had consequences that ripple through her and the events of the story until the end of the series. I know I’m repeating myself to a degree, but I want to make it clear that Luz’s “trauma” was never really a thing that factored into the story until she had to actually face the fallout of a choice she made that could negatively affect her life forever.

With the added context of Luz’s lingering grief of her dead father, and Eda becoming something of a maternal figure for her, Luz made the choice she did because while she could potentially never see her mother again, she was alive and well... but Eda, another parental figure in her life, could die. She was able to prevent it, and she did, and if you have a positive relationship with your loved ones that could potentially die, you’d likely do the same.

Luz is able to move on, relatively normally, after this point, because she has something to work towards: a new portal. She’s given hope because she learns of another human being in the Demon Realm before, and that gives her something to hold on to. When combined with the budding romance with Amity, Luz is able to deal with the consequences of her decision to stay in the Demon Realm, and her choice to save Eda over going home. It’s a dam, holding back a torrent of negative thoughts that she’s likely been burying for a while.

Then she sees her mother again. Then, the dam begins to buckle.

I think “Yesterday’s Lie” is something of an under-rated episode, because it’s this moment where you can see Luz’s wall of positivity start to break down. She’s reminded of her selfish wish to be a witch is something that can, and did, hurt her mother. Yes, her mother didn’t know that she was gone because Vee took advantage of Luz going to the Demon Realm to be able to (more or less) safely live in the Human Realm... but upon Camila learning the truth, and learning that her daughter effectively ran away to another world, it became harder to ignore the consequences of her choice to stay on the Boiling Isles. Camila blaming herself for Luz’s situation only makes things worse by compounding consequences with guilt... and Luz is only a 14 year old girl.

It’s this that has Luz begin to truly slip into the more depressed mindset she develops over the course of Season 2B. This is really the first real time Luz has shown to be truly traumatized, and this is where I think a lot of people misunderstand how trauma works.

Trauma is something that lingers, and affects you in ways that are more often than not negative. It’s something that is triggered by a distressing situation that rattles you, not just distress in general. I myself have PTSD that genuinely keeps me up at night, and while I’ve been better at managing it as time goes by, it still has me panic enough that life is made harder by it being there. Luz’s “trauma response” was never proactive, because Luz wasn’t dealing with trauma, she was dealing with issues in the moment. This is fundamentally why it bugs me to no end when people like Lily Orchard blatantly shit on Luz being depressed in Season 2B; Luz didn’t really have long lasting consequences to her actions begin to pile up until she destroyed the portal door. That’s not something a proactive and positive attitude can just fix, nor is it something that can be dealt with in the same way that Luz deals with other problems that have cropped up during the course of the series. Luz’s choice to stay in the Boiling Isles was born out of her seeing it as a way to escape... until it wasn’t an escape anymore. She could have left at any time and went back home. But she didn’t, and that is why Luz ended up in the mental state she did. It’s the ripple effects of an act of selfishness catching up to her, and leaving her emotionally damaged as a result.

Luz’s decision to stay and the guilt associated with not being able to properly tell her mother that she isn’t at fault for Luz staying in the Demon Realm is further compounded on by Luz unknowingly helping Belos by teaching his younger self the Light Glyph, and then learning the truth of this in Hollow Mind. While I don’t think the episode is that great, Hollow Mind is critical for Luz’s decent down the emotional spiral she’s on because it only serves to build on top of the foundation of consequences and guilt by adding a wrinkle that, while we figured out pretty quickly as the audience, Luz didn’t know about because, realistically, why would she?

Luz learning that she helped a tyrant rise to power because of the choice of staying on the Isles is where her dam breaks, and the negative thoughts become so loud they’re practically screaming in her head, and it’s perfectly justifiable that she, in that state, would believe she is at fault for everything. Remember, this all started because, and say it with me, Luz decided to stay on the Boiling Isles until leaving was no longer and option. Her decision to stay would lead to Belos learning of her existence, which would lead to the Door being destroyed, which lead to Luz looking into Philip, which lead to her meeting him in the past and teaching him the Light Glyph, which lead to Belos being able to rise to power via the lie of the Coven System, which lead to Belos being a factor to begin with. It’s a self sustaining feedback loop, and it naturally leads to Luz downing a big old cup of depresso espresso. This is why Luz feels so responsible for Belos. This is why she ends up so depressed. This is why Luz’s ability to deal with things in a healthy way falls into her depressive downward spiral, and why she needed to hear her mother basically say she’s sorry for ever thinking that Luz being different was a problem to pull her out of it (and ultimately cause Stringbean to hatch). It’s why I think that the way Luz is in “Thanks To Them” works. I do think it being dragged into “For The Future” was a bit much though.

Luz is an example of a character that goes through a negative character arc, but still walks out on the other side a better person where others might not. It’s not done the most gracefully, but it’s something that, given the circumstances, worked for what they were able to do within the time constraints.

I think it’s blatantly obvious that Dana likely had this sort of things planned to be more gradual than it was, but had to cram a whole bunch of story stuff into Season 2 (especially Season 2B) to make up for the fact that she wouldn’t have three full seasons to do this kind of thing more gradually. It’s sort of like if you lost a season’s worth of context for Walter White in Breaking Bad: you’d get that dark spiral, but it’d be a bumpier ride because of the lack of time. It’s pretty safe to assume that early Season 2 was written and approved by the people in charge before Dana even knew cancellation was a thing, as you typically write treatments for this kind of thing WAAAAAY in advance of full blown production from what I understand. And now, to pivot to something related, but less important than Luz’s handling of her growing depression.

There are things about Luz’s arc that I find to be somewhat disappointing though. Specifically, how they handled Stringbean. Stringbean feels like one of those things that was a victim of the mass amounts of cuts that had to be made because Disney execs were going too hard on the Apple Blood and decided a 3rd Season would have been too much for something that didn’t fit the Disney Channel “Brand.” If I had to speculate on the intended direction of Season 2B, it seems likely going to be the climax of the season where Luz got Stringbean, rather than what we got. Like, I firmly believe that most of Season 2A was written and approved for production before Season 1 even ended, because it feels like a more logical extension of Season 1 than the later half of the season does. Stringbean was basically set up as far back as “Hunting Palisman” at bare minimum, and you could argue it’s an even older concept because of Eda’s mention of young witches needing to earn their staffs/Palismans in earlier episodes (I can’t recall the exact episodes). The seeds had been sewn earlier than even Hunter, so Stringbean was likely a victim of the cuts.

The other reason I think this is because of when Stringbean first appears. She debuted in the second-to-last episode, and then is truly relevant for all of 5 minutes of that episode before Luz dies, and comes back with Titan Powers. Sure, Stringbean is used in the final battle after Luz gets said powers, but it could have just as easily been Owlbert and not much would be different. It’s clear to me that Stringbean was meant to fulfill an emotional climax of the story, but due to time constraints, barely managed to get squeezed into the series by the end, and that’s a damn shame.

If I were to write elements of Luz’s arc, as far as getting Stringbean is concerned, I’d have it serve as a connection to Luz’s father. While I love what we got of Camila in the specials, I think it would have made more sense from a writing standpoint for Camila to lack the understanding of Luz’s more eccentric traits because that’s something Manny was better at understanding. I’d even make the idea of a Snakeshifter something Luz and Manny came up with together when Luz was little, and that Stringbean’s form is born from Luz finally feeling like her mother understands her, and from Camila finally being able to truly begin understanding Luz like her husband did before he died. I think that would have at the very least made Luz’s dead dad thing be a bit more relevant to the story, make Camila have a bit of an arc that has a bit more punch to it, and it’d give Stringbean a better debut as a more emotionally potent moment. Even if this had to be saved for like, a Season 3 mid-season finale, it’d still have done more for the story to handle it in a way like this in my opinion.

Anyway, those are some thoughts of mine. Feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree with anything I’ve said. Just be respectful and stuff.

#The Owl House #Luz Noceda #Analysis #toh analysis #Owl House Spoilers #TOH Spoilers

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kharmii · 4 months

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It is so true that the entire fandom has a massive obsession with furries.

And are also converting normies into furries. Sometimes when I see fanart of Sneasler and it’s drawn in a furry-ish way a big part of me wonders if this artist has a sideblog containing furry nsfw with Ingo.

Or those weird hybrid designs. (When I‘m able to look past the furry implications I can appreciate a creative design but I also can’t unsee potential nsfw stuff for a lot of these.) What icks me the most about this is that furry stuff is accepted and even embraced as to blankshipping is taboo and "the worst"…

Personally I’m rather someone who wishes to engage a lot more with the Japanese community since they are still very much have the old fandom culture intact.

(Also when I‘m leaning more towards blankshipper over here it’s because they’re less to throw hissy fits at everyone who doesn’t bend over backwards to their beliefs. They can be just as nasty on some topics)

And so much yes for your annoyance for the celebration of politics in fandom. I don’t know when this has become such an issue (especially when I remember that back in the day in a previous fandom called Hetalia [a series that was based on the idea that each country was represented by a human and being a bit stereotypical (in a way that was funny or made you feel called out)] people were constantly reminding everyone not to include current day politics in their stuff, that was no biggie back when but nowadays it’s normal to use fandom and fiction to push their political agenda on people… Be it characters waving certain flags of countries or beliefs and all those surgery scars everywhere… I don’t wanna see this kind of content. Though I’m at least somewhat happy that so far I didn’t have to see artificial "assets" down below in art.

The only way to interact with the fandom is to mute and block each political movement and only interact with certain content that doesn’t deal with all this nonsense.

I have said it before but I really enjoy sharing opinions with you. While a lot comes off as probably harsher than it’s meant to but I appreciate your opinion and your perspective.

That was absolutely meant to come off harsh because Submas fandom (Volo too) is a nasty little mean girl clique gone wild. That's how social contagion works. You'll have a handful of aggressive vocal petty little twats who will convince everybody that 'this stupid thing is acceptable and yet this other stupid thing that's equally as stupid and harmless as the other thing is not acceptable'.

Next thing you know, the few bad apples who draw top surgery scarred fat furries have the whole fandom thinking that's what everybody is into. Normies might be like, "Well, I actually don't like any of that because it forces me to have a wastebasket I puke in when browsing this fandom, but I don't want anyone to call me a bigot.."

Most fans might be drawn to beauty and good things, but the whole theme seems to be centered around dreck and wallowing in misery (the shipping end anyway. General is more upbeat). Since everybody has blocked me at this point, I'm one of the few who isn't afraid to say what a lot of people might be thinking (like most of you, don't lie. Nobody likes a fat furry chili fart in the face).

Side note: I had to unfollow someone last week because they put up a post about Submas celebrating Pride Month...and yet they had to put the dig in about 'Proshippers DNI'. Hey, Emmet's pronouns list is a mile long! -So what aspect of Pride do they celebrate? Is it okay for weirdos to wear dog masks around kids? Is it okay to give minors puberty blockers? -And yet shipping brother-on-brother action with fictional characters (that doesn't hurt anybody) is taboo? Would you be okay with a grown-ass man exposing himself to a minor at a Pride Parade, and yet a 20/15 year old ship between Volo and Akari is taboo?

Anyway, how about some good old Submas Angst?

Art credit: こんぶ。@konbu_0915_ Twitter.

#submas #blankshipping #pride month #fandumb fail #srsly tho #leftist culture #damn furries #at least it's not omegaverse #ask me about my million stupid bj aus #ingo #emmet #submas angst

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sloshed-cinema · 2 years

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The Fabelmans (2022)

When Sam Fabelman is behind the camera, you can tell how much Spielberg loves making movies. Whether he’s crafting a Western or a WWII action flick, Sam wells over with enthusiasm for what he’s making, an exuberant eruption of paint-filled water balloon squibs, improvised explosions, and dummies hurled off cliffs. In a sense it’s a puzzle to solve: how can Sam use his resources to create the image he has in his head, whether out on the shoot or in the editing bay? There’s of course a human aspect to filmmaking as well, and we also see Fabelman starting to find his footing in articulating his ideas to actors for what their characters are going through. Spielberg shows his hand at points, Sam walking his great-uncle through the thought process behind and impact of the Spielberg Gaze for which his films are so known. Hell, the younger Sam is pretty much genetically engineered for that exact impact, so big and blue are his eyes and so full of awe his face. The culmination of any movie being made is its exhibition for an audience, and there is so much joy in watching an audience react, laughing and clapping or gasping to the piece you’ve toiled away at making. But there is tension as well. Often during screening sequences, Spielberg is more interested in fleeting glances of nerves and tension than the movie being shown, drawing lines between characters. Movies can hurt, whether making one of Sam’s bullies to feel insecure or helping Sam realize his mother’s infidelity while editing a camping movie. In turn Sam has a lot of power, choosing what to include or remove from the final cut of a movie.

In his brief meeting with John Ford, portrayed gloriously by David Lynch, we get a bit of introspection about Spielberg as a creator. He is an undeniable creative, responsible for some of the best blockbusters ever put to film, but there’s a definite commercial tinge to his work. In this meeting, Sam describes an artwork in very literal terms, focusing on objects within an image. This contrasts with Ford, who gruffly distills art down to intrigue and style: if the horizon is low or high in the frame, it’s interesting. If not, it’s shit. Not just shit, full on Gordon Cole BULL-SHEIT. Both can be accurate in their own camp. Yet Spielberg bows to Ford in the end, cheekily adjusting the framing of the last shot so that the sky dominates the image of studio backlots.

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says ‘movie’, ‘train’, or ‘monkey’.

Gauzy lens flares.

Someone names a company.

A state gets name-dropped.

BIG DRINK

Time jump.

Sam cuts a strip of film.

#drinking games #the fabelmans #fabelmans #steven spielberg #drama #michelle williams #judd hirsch #paul dano #gabriel labelle #seth rogen #david lynch

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sirislayer · 2 years

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4, 8, 20, 23 for the artist asks!

4. Favorite Thing to Draw Faces, facial expressions, Pointy ears, Glow Magic stuff, landscape (traditional, abstract), Puns

8. What's the most fun and the least fun parts about your process

Most Fun:

Ideally this lightning of giddy inspiration strikes and I just MUST DRAW or else I will be unable to do anything else. (This is an unreliable reason to do art however, so it should never be depended upon)

But even if this aspect is missing, I like the part where everything of an idea clicks into place. The research starts to come together, the moodboard is helping, the scribbles turn into a sketch, turn into lineart.

Hyperfocus!!!! Hyperfocus is so great to be in. It satisfies my brain being able to hyperfocus on a piece of art and suddenly hours passed by but I finished a thing!!!

Creative activity to me often corresponds with problem solving. The problem often being, that the image I want to exist does not exist. So actually being in the process of problem solving and actually seeing results, thats fun!

Another fun thing - this specifically applies for me to fanart - is when I know a specific person, friend, mutual will enjoy the thing I'm working on as well. It's like "aaah the thing I'm making will probably excite my friend, I can't wait to see their reaction!!!"

Least Fun:

Repetition. I h a t e repeating things I have already done. I don't like doing repetitive tasks or redoing work because I lost my progress due to software crashing. It used to be the thing that would easiest stop me from drawing something. I've gained a bit of a better attitude and harder shell over the years over the course of various professional projects, but it's still a big bummer.

I find posting/uploading + tagging my content on different platforms to be a chore and rather tedious. It has made me think I should just quit twitter/instagram all together because I neither get the interactivity one would want out of them, nor do I necessarily gain any financial benefit from them. Tumblr and YouTube are the most fun to post to, but I know my audience i limited on Tumblr to those, who use tumblr.

Posting in general, while it does result in positive feedback and attention and all that external validation at times, I just find the process boring and rather stressful. Formatting my images to actually be top-notch quality and not be compressed by various platforms takes time, so I actually often just don't do it in the first place.

20. a piece from this year that you're really proud of

I think the one I'm most proud of is one that is not available to the public as of yet. It's an animated short (8 minutes) about coping with the escape from a domestic violence and abuse situation. Most of the work on this was done the years prior to this year, but I did finish a substantial amount of the final animation this year, so I think that still counts. I won't share a link to the video right now, probably in about a year or so. But here are some images from the film:

After finishing that film... long animation does not scare me as much anymore to make. :) If we want to talk strictly limited to this year and this year only - I will probably say my TAZ Graduation Animations [1] [2] [3] and this character design commission!

23. what's something you hope people notice when looking at your art

Uh... that one is actually kinda tough. I don't really know?

Unless the piece has a specific message/vibe I want them to definitely feel (e.g. my domestic violence film), a lot of times I just want people to enjoy the art?

I guess the normal expectation is, I want them to notice my effort? But even then, with 5 minute doodles, that's not effort that's just.. braindump so this answer does not feel quite universal.

A lot of times though, this specifically applies to animation and maybe comics - I am always pleased when people point out things I put in that were not required to make something work, but are fun to see anyways. (e.g. people pointing out ear wiggles, sign language, background action, Fitzroy getting more angry once he notices Argo's upsetness...) It's nice to see I did not add that detail and decor in vain.

In a way I hope people will notice the things and nuance I put there specifically for people to take notice of. (if that makes sense)

#artist ask #answers ask #aye yo thank you!#I hope the film imagery is not too disturbing!!#its a very sad bitter sweet film and its the reason i have been engaging in more lighthearted material this year #serious projects just kinda take it out on you

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yoshimonster · 1 year

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Blog Post #4: It’s Dance Time

So I didn’t write a blog earlier, even though I definitely could have after all of the dancing I did. It was a standard Friday and honestly I can’t wait to not go back next week. I honestly hope that I have significantly turned over my life in other aspects so that my default the ongoing dance sting will reduce. I’ve heard that bad things only get better if you put enough time and energy in other aspects of your life.

Well, honestly things can’t get any worse. They probably can but I am really hoping they don’t. I actually spent forever today cleaning my room and it was quite an intense endeavour. I think I’ve probably cleaned about 50% of it and honestly I have to keep it this way to avoid future conflicts and issues with finding stuff. The way that I’ve just been so unaware yet aware of random stuff in my room is actually ridiculous. And to be honest, the only reason I am moderately aware is because of unavoidable developments that happened in my life over the past year/year and a half.

The (post?) pandemic boredom is actually hitting pretty hard – it feels like I’ve woken up from a long slumber where I was the only one dreaming. Like those dreams you have where you fall but never really hit the ground at all. Constantly in between two locations; your neither on the ground or on the cliff – just up the air somewhere sort of lost, floating like the breeze. Unfortunately, the pandemic made me re-evaluate more than just surviving studies wise, it also made me re-evaluate my life habits at home and definitely we still spend way too much time at home with this recession happening all around the world. I guess this is actually a blessing in disguise but as usual I’m so very accustomed to that instant gratification lifestyle.

Right now, I’m cram watching Haikyuu, a sports volleyball anime, which is extremely popular, though I’m fairly late to the train, so I can talk about more with my friend. The origin story in Episode 1 is so heartwarming and the animation is so beautiful; to draw like that would actually be so cool! Alas, it really isn’t my forte.

Besides that, I tried to have an honest conversation with parents but it did turn into a lecture as usual. I think my point was mostly about expressing care in various ways, which if I’m being completely frank, they have done more than enough. It just sucks that things weren’t more clear to me earlier in life and I really missed quite a few experiences with them. It also has to do with how much I use technology and how I never really was physically bored enough to try to be more creative. These days I’m working on it and sometimes time just flies and other times it really doesn’t. There’s so much to catch up on!

Finally, just a quick update from this morning and Saturday, have sort of resolved the money situation with the Taylor Swift tickets it will cost me quite a bit but hopefully will be able to be a bit more conscious moving forward. Another thing, I have been feeling much better about my room – I finally cleaned more than half of it and am going to finish up while catching up on YouTube/Barbie movies. The amount of plans I’m making is actually insane – like this is what I get for being a hermit all semester long. I also am going to do more maths revision, haven’t done so for a few days now because of the room situation.

If you guys made it till this end, thank you so much, although I’m pretty sure no one in reading this update about my life. But yep as usual, will be dreading dance again every Friday – it’s basically a weekly humbling/ridiculing session directed at me. What a high case of self-consciousness that is. I honestly found it better to perform when I was in newer environments.

-yoshimonster-

#daily blog #haikyuu #dance practice #self introspection #humble #ridicule

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bifairywife · 2 years

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jaystephroy concept:

fashion industry au 🚶🖋️📸

i had way too much fun conceptualising all of this so i'll be posting some edits to help visualize (and explain a bit) this au <33

imagine: jason as a model, steph as a fashion designer, and roy as a photographer - it's basically a power trio in the fashion world

jason is one of the top models of wayne enterprises' fashion branch alongside dick and cass, it's kind of a family business. they all got their share of modelling (tim ultimately decided to go with marketing, damian initiated making a sub-branch for pet clothes, and duke decided to help out with the creatives team in making commercials + social media posts).

steph made her first spoiler costume, so it's safe to assume she designed it too. plus her cute lil red headband as robin? cute and iconic, a statement piece none of the previous robins ever bothered to have. and if you check the notes on her clothing style in wfa, it'll totally solidify my point:

highlights from the notes: young and trendy, likes to customize her clothes → this is a girl that has style and someone you'd want in the designing team (+ in canon she's a good cartoonist too, she got the drawing skills)

now onto roy, i'll admit my thought process really just went: "well he's an archer, right? so he has good eyesight and he can quickly have a good scope of his surroundings taking into account of its details while he's at it - so that'll make him a good photographer." for the sake of this au, i want him on team wayne enterprises already.

some notes on jason:

with dick on men's formal wear & undergarments (hehe) and cass on women's athletic and formal wear, jason got the men's casual and athletic wear covered.

he's been planning on dropping his modelling gig. he's interested in a career change with helping out in a different aspect in the company's fashion branch. but with his popularity, it's a risky move to pursue it.

between him, dick, and cass - jason's surprisingly the best trendsetter. dick can be flat out embarrassing sometimes and although cass is iconic, she's a whole new league of her own for being able to be the only one that can really carry a look the way she does (some can copy her, but they don't hold a candle to her). the looks jason serve on his own is a mix of classic and functional - which is why leather jackets are never out of style in gotham.

some notes on steph:

steph couldn't afford fashion school but she was discovered by selina. she's under a sort of apprenticeship with her (selina gets what steph is going through and she wants someone to take over for her now that she wants to focus on designing jewelry).

she's also very active on social media. she's got a super cute and semi-consistent theme on instagram (featuring a mix of her works and shots of herself), and her stories are a mix of aesthetic shots of her designing process or photos of her snacks.

steph is closest with cass. when she started out, selina assigned her as one of cass' designers. steph and cass work together often and they easily bonded.

steph is also close to tim and duke. she gives them insights on how to appeal to the audience better, and they help her be updated to current trends.

some notes on roy:

i always hc roy as the type of guy that enjoys travelling a lot. he's originally a landscape photographer, doing a lot of mountain-hiking and rock-climbing which are risky but worth it for the view. problem is: he got into an accident so those activities need to be put on halt.

he still wanted to continue photography though. even if oliver doesn't play favourites, he doesn't want to work for queen industries where people can assume he got in the "easy way" so he picked the next best company: wayne enterprises.

he's a generally friendly guy, so having to work with new people was a breeze. the problem lies with how different this particular genre of photography is. he's so used to snapping photos of landscapes that focusing on people (and clothes) is an entirely different level.

#i was gonna make a dnd-esque concept about them first but it's so hard to find pics for it 😭😭#jaysteph #jayroy #jaystephroy #jayroysteph #jason todd #stephanie brown #roy harper #red hood #the spoiler #red arrow #dc comics #polyamourous #polyamory #summer.txt

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stephreynaart · 3 years

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Gravity Falls - “Waiting”

Pop-Pop AU

Stan sits in a hospital waiting room, thinking about his life and the people he loves.

- - - -

This is kinda old, but I realized I never posted it on tumblr. Hope ya like it!

Lots of fluff, the only ships are Soos and Melody.

AO3 LINK

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It had a square aspect ratio. Ink pen and watercolor on white heat pressed cotton paper in a bland white frame. One single blue flower in a red vase with what looks like a yellowish shadow. One shadow going left, the other going right. The lack of confidence and inexperience was obvious, the lines were unfocused and jagged, the color plainly filled the shapes and gave no other visual interest to the image.

Below the frame was a small white card that read “Painting donated by Jessica Blaise from Gravity Falls Elementary School”

Stan scanned the painting at least 20 times while sitting in that chair. The too rough and too soft at the same time chair that had similar copies populating the almost white room he sat in. The wallpaper bouncing off light pinks and blues with tiny ducklings as a makeshift wainscoting was starting to irritate the old man. It was too bright, and the consistent buzz of the fluorescent lights seemed so loud. Stan adjusted himself in his chair, switching his crossed legs to a wider spread and leaned his head against the wall.

The only other stimulus in the room were a few posters promoting proper hand washing techniques, the play area with a small table and chairs with large blocks, crayons and that weird “game” with the metal wiring and wooden beads that’s in every waiting room Stan’s ever sat in. He played with the toys to give himself something to do after he read all the magazines. The novelty wore off fast.

The television mounted on the wall was airing some cooking channel with no sound and no subtitles. Looking at food when you haven’t eaten in a few hours was practically torture, so Stan had been averting his eyes.

There were other paintings on the wall, one was less of a painting, but instead a print of a painting. He doubted that the artist got any compensation from it, if they were still alive. The other was a charcoal drawing done by a student from the community college a town away. Another square, but the entire image was black, the brightest thing on the page was an intruding infant hand coming from the left with the arm fading into the dark background. The fingers seemingly mid-twitch and grabbing at something. The lighting was dynamic and interesting. Stan swore it was a drawing of a penis the first time he glanced at it, which resulted in his brother’s laughter. Stanley smiled at the memory, it was only a few hours ago, but he relishes any time he can make Stanford laugh.

Stan’s eyes darted at the door in the far corner when it opened suddenly. He eased back into his chair when the nurse crossed the room to talk with the receptionist. He couldn’t hear the conversation very well, but could tell they were just gossiping and making jokes. Nothing that was of his interest. So he looked back to the elementary school child’s painting and analyzed it again. His eyes were dry and he was tired. He wished he could sleep, the chair wasn’t comfortable enough and when he did managed to sleep, his neck was sore when he woke up. He was only lucky Ford let him use his shoulder as a pillow for a while. He looked to his left and noted the book his brother placed in the seat. It seemed thick and in what looked like Hebrew. Stan wasn’t very surprised Ford was fluent in the language they were acquainted with as children. Their grandparents on their father’s side were the last to be fully fluent in Hebrew. It was like his brother to be curious of their heritage, but Stan only remembered a few phrases and words he learned from holidays and special event when he had to recite anything in Temple.

Stan crossed his arms and glanced at the clock on the wall and let out an exasperated sigh. It had only been 10 minutes since he last checked the time. He wanted to be at home, be in his soft warm bed and getting ready to eat pancakes at this time in the morning.

He and Ford were on the porch of The Mystery Shack when Soos rushed them off to the hospital the yesterday afternoon. What he originally thought would be a couple of hours of waiting turned into almost twelve. Apparently labour can last a long time.

Stan wished he could be a witness for Soos and Melody like he was when Dipper and Mabel were born, but Melody wanted her privacy, which Stan could respect, but Soos wanted him there…..so he and Ford waited in this bright, annoyingly pastel waiting room, twiddling his thumbs awaiting the arrival of the new member of the mystery family. He was glad he was in at least comfortable clothes, some gray sweatpants and a sweater Mabel knitted for him that read “godfather”.

He was never clear on what the title entailed, but it was mentioned a few times by Soos’ grandmother and the kids insisted that Soos was intending to ask him. He hadn’t, but he didn’t protest Stan wearing the sweater. Whatever job godfathers had, he was willing to play the part if Soos were to ask him.

Stan looked at the double doors a few feet away that lead out of the waiting room and into the halls. His brother left to find something for them to eat, but was taking his sweet time. The turkey being basted on the television was no help in aiding his growling stomach.

He distracted himself by returning his thoughts to Soos and Melody. Just down the hall they were experiencing the strange and beautiful phenomenon that was witnessing the arrival of a brand new person. Stan remembered the feeling so clearly. His entire life he’s felt the presence of human beings. It’s inherent in most people to feel when someone is in the room with you, the other soul sharing the same space as you. Imagine being in a room with a set amount of people and someone else comes in, but imagine they came in without using a doorway. Just appearing seemingly out of thin air. Suddenly another person is with you, and they’re brand new to the world, a life full of potential and power. Yes, today is indeed a happy day, but no amount of positive thinking would ease Stan’s nerves. His foot began to bounce and his hands unconsciously began to fiddle with each other. He didn’t want to think anything would go wrong with Soos’ baby, but anything can happen and life is so fragile, especially at the start of it.

He recalled his nephew’s nervousness the day Dipper and Mabel were born. His hands were shaking and he was constantly checking on his wife and asking the doctors loads of questions. He didn’t fully understand the twins’ father’s behavior until the end of that day.

Mabel’s birth was swift and easy. Her mother only needed to push one and a half times before she was here. It was as if she was eager to meet everyone waiting for her. She cried like most babies do, but Stan could’ve sworn they were tears of joy. While Mabel was greeted with, “hello, beautiful”, “hi, sweetie” and “she’s perfect”, Her brother’s introduction to world started with, “what’s wrong?”, “wait, let me hold him”, and “he’s not moving”. Dipper was rushed out of the room before his mother got a chance to look at him. Stan managed to catch a glimpse of the horrifyingly blue tint on his great nephew’s tiny face. The memory still gave him chills. He remembered how much he wanted to hold Mabel, who began to fuss and cry, obviously missing her brother. He was terrified at the prospect of another incomplete set of twins in their family. After the longest 30 minute of his life, Stan’s great-nephew returned with a bright pink face, wailing with all the power his little lungs could produce. Once the twins were reunited in their mother’s arms, they settled down almost instantly. The doctors told their parents Dipper was significantly lighter in weight than his sister, but both were very strong and healthy. Every so often Stan thinks about Dipper and how much he has impacted his life. His thoughts lead to darker places and he questions if Ford would be here if Dipper wasn’t there to find the third journal. He shook his head as a cold shiver went up his spine.

Stan did his best to distract himself from revisiting the scare that Dipper caused him 16 years ago.

16 years…..17 in August

Stan blinked. The squishy, bright faces that stayed with him that first summer had changed significantly. They stayed in contact all year round and visited every summer since they were 12. But every in-person meeting was always a shock. Dipper was developing the square jaw Stan, both his brothers and nephew shared. He started to regularly wear glasses their second summer with the Stans. Poor kid will grow up looking like Filbrick like the rest of the Pines men. He reminded Stan of Ford at that age.

And Mabel…..

Stan will never get over how much she looks like his mother. It didn’t strike him until Soos and Melody’s wedding and she put her hair in a bun. She’s calmed her hyperactivity down a bit, but not by a lot, she still brightens his day with her wit and creativity. They’ve both matured physically, but not much has changed personality wise and they still acted like big children when they’re around each other. Stan loved them very much, and wished he could see them more often. He wondered what the future held for all of them. Would they still visit town after going to college? Would they move here? Or somewhere else?

He’s had several conversations with them to see how they’re managing the prospect of separating. They’re much better at communicating than he and Ford were and they seem actually excited to have some independence. It made Stan nervous, but he was sure their close relationship wouldn’t suffer.

Wendy chose to be elsewhere for the next few years. She and her friends booked a plane ticket and plan to backpack and hitchhike around Europe and the UK. Stan hopes they stay safe and watch out for each other. Lotta weirdos in Amsterdam. She was set to leave in the coming days, Wendy wanted to wait until today arrived so she could meet Soos and Melody’s kid before going away for who knows how long.

A tap on the shoulder woke Stan from his deep thoughts. His brother arrived with some warm sub sandwiches and coffee.

“Any word yet?, he asked Stan

“Nothin’ yet”, Stan felt helpless not having any clue how Soos and Melody were doing.

Stanford took his seat next to Stanley and they both silently enjoyed their late breakfast. Since arriving they’ve witnessed families reuniting and going past the door in the far corner to meet their children, grandchildren or siblings. Stan looked at the clock again. How has it only been another 5 minutes? He sighed, leaned back and finished the rest of his sub. One hand holding the sandwich, the other went back to gripping the arm rest, then a six fingered hand went down to rest on top of it. Stan let go of the armrest and tangled his fingers between Ford’s and held onto it with a, hopefully not too tight, grip. It was like an anchor to reality, much better at easing his anxieties than any words could. Over the past 4 years, Stan and Ford’s bond grew stronger. Stan still feared one day he would wake up and find himself still in that basement surrounded by broken machinery and languages he didn’t understand. He hasn’t yet, and was enjoying the time he had left with his twin. Stan took a moment to look at his brother again, Ford made eye contact and smiled then continued to read his book. Hands still intertwined

Stans thoughts went back to Soos…

It amazed Stan how much he had grown and it still baffled him that Soos idolized him as much as he does. Before Soos, Stan had no one. His brother was….gone, the rest of the family didn’t talk to him much outside of the holidays and special occasion. There hadn’t been any sense of consistency in Stan’s life for years, decades even, until he hired the chubby little kid he barely glanced at one random Saturday. Soos always arrived to work early, sometimes with breakfast for both of them. Stan didn’t know how much he needed a reliable companion until he had it and he enjoyed the 10 years he had with that kid… or man he should say. Here he was…a few rooms away, becoming a father.

Stan used to daydream a lot about the prospect of having kids when he was younger. He’s was always good with them when he had the chance to babysit his nephew, then later Dipper and Mabel when they were toddlers. He loved having kids in his house that first summer. He loved the energy and the sense of adventure the twins brought. They gave him a sense of purpose and belonging he hadn’t felt in years. He wished he was brave enough to have his own children. Not that he was ever with anyone long enough to want to have kids with him. He supposed it was for the best that he didn’t subject a child to homelessness or an unhappy marriage. He was also terrified at the idea. His dad used to say having kids ruined his life. He wondered who his father was before his older brother was born. Did they really ruin his life? Stan often wondered if he would be like his own dad if he has children of his own. Would he change and become that annoyed parent that resenting his children?

He thought about Soos again

That was probably the closest to parenthood he ever experienced. The first time he felt like one was when Soos asked him for homework help after closing. He initially told Soos no, he wasn’t exactly smart and didn’t think he would be any help. It apparently upset the kid, so Stan sighed and gave it a try. It was fairly simple middle school math, he didn’t remember everything, but helped Soos do more than half of it. Soos thanked him and went home happy. Stan felt weirdly proud, he was glad he made a small difference and managed to teach Soos something he didn’t even know he knew.

The second time was when Soos was a teenager. His grandmother wasn’t able to teach Soos to drive, since she had forgotten how and her late husband used to do the driving, she mostly walked everywhere. Soos offered to work for free so Stan could teach him. Stan loved driving and found teaching Soos cathartic. He was a fast and eager learner, he only bumped Stan’s car once while trying to figure out parallel parking. Little did Soos know that he was getting paid for his normal work hours. Stan just put it away long enough to help buy the kid some old used truck in the junkyard for getting his license. They fixed the truck up and in only a few weeks it was ready to be on the road. Soos has taken good care of it and it’s still his ride to this day

Stan was very proud of Soos. He taught the kid some basic self defense and managed to be a decent influence in his life. Soos at least has his priorities straight.

Stan was even glad to see that Soos was willing to question him. When the portal was reaching the final countdown, he didn’t hesitate to protect the kids from him when he thought Stan was dangerous. He didn’t know, none of them did, so he didn’t blame Soos for distrusting him. He hoped he never had to betray him again. They both had crappy dads, and Stan knew how Soos saw him. Stan was never really sure if he reciprocated those feelings. It felt natural to act the part, but to put a label as important as “dad” on Stan was daunting. Soos definitely deserves better than what he was given, Stan wasn’t sure if he was it.

Stan looked up at the familiar voices running towards him from the double doors.

“Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!” Mabel waved to them

The two teenagers and Wendy walked in holding a balloon and various toys. They took some seats across from the Stans and asked how everyone was doing and if the baby arrived yet.

“Not yet, hopefully soon” Ford answered

Stan relaxed and silently enjoyed his family’s company. He laid his head back and leaned slightly on Ford to rest for a minute. His eyes shut as he listened to the kids joke around and talk amongst themselves. He squeezed Ford’s hand one more time before drifting off.

He knew he should’ve tried sleeping earlier, he wasn’t out for more than 15 minutes when Soos came into the waiting room. Stan’s eyes shot open and he was on his feet faster than he did when he was being chased by angry costumers as a door to door salesman. Soos’ red eyes sagged and he seemed exhausted, but carried a proud, wide smile across his face. He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

“It’s a boy”, he squeaked, “mom and baby are okay”

Dipper and Mabel were first to start the hugs, and the room filled with cheers of congratulations and love. Stan felt light as a feather giving Soos a hug and joking about child labor.

“Can we see him?”, Mabel bounced with anticipation

“Yeah, dudes!”, Soos gestured everyone past the corner door and into the suite. “But only for a little while, Melody has to sleep”

The room was small, dimly lit and warm. The Pines crew collectively lowered their voices as Melody came into view on the bedding holding a bundle of blankets decorated with small yellow ducklings. She was leaned back on a large pillow, covered in blankets and toted a soft smile on her face. Soos stroked her hair and picked up his little son to show to the Pines’. The younger twins got a look at him first,

Mabel squealed and cooed at the tiny infant. Then Wendy, who said hi to the baby and told Soos she’d make sure to send him gifts while she was away

“What’s his name?”, Mabel asked Melody

“I named him after my dad”, Melody replied, “Jacob”. She smiled sadly at the memory of the father she lost the year before.

Soos approached the Stans, Ford smiled and complimented the couple on a having such beautiful little boy, but shot Soos a look, who silently replied with another one. Something was up.

Finally Stan got a look at baby Jacob. “Wow” Stan smiled, patting Soos’ arm. “He looks exactly like you”

Soos laughed, “really? I think he looks like Melody”, there was a short silence before Soos spoke up again.

“Do you want to hold him, Mr Pines?”

Stan looked at Soos and smiled, “heh, sure”. He held his arms out. Soos lowered his arms to pass the baby to Stan, who scrunched his face up and started to fuss. Stan took the infant and managed to hold him with one arm. He bounced and shushed little Jacob until he calmed down. “Heya kid”, He’s held babies dozens of times, but something felt different about this one. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but Stan felt an almost magnetic pull towards him. Jacob settled comfortably against Stan and continued his rest. Stan softly beamed at the tiny person in his arms.

“Hey, Stan?”

Stan lifted an eyebrow and looked at Soos, who was fidgeting with his hands and nervously smiling.

“Uh..”, he paused, taking in the sight of Stan holding his child. “You know about my dad”, Soos looked at Ford again, who shrugged and nodded. Stan studied Ford’s face, who’s eyes strayed away as he hid a small smile. Soos got his attention again.

“You uh…he wasn’t…”, Soos choked up, his voice strained a bit, “I met you when I was probably the loneliest I ever was in my entire life”. Stan pictured the little boy he hired on the spot, he didn’t remember him until Soos showed up at his door step the next day ready to work. He didn’t know how much that quick, thoughtless decision would change his life.

Soos perked up and walked across the room to a table and picked up the piece of paper sitting on it. Soos glanced at it, then at Stan and smiled, gaining some emotional strength it seemed.

“You mean a lot me”, Soos, “you were there when I really needed it, you gave me a job, taught me just about everything I know. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that”

Stan got a bit nervous, Was this him asking to be the godfather?Everyone was silent and curiously watching. Soos held his hand out and handed the paper to Stan. He adjusted his arm to properly hold Jacob in his arm and took it. Stan flipped the page and noticed it was the baby’s birth certificate. Stan eyes bounced off the page and read the various information: birthdate, weight, parents, but he froze when he read the full name. Stan’s wide eyes questioningly studied Soos’ face.

“Are you…”, Stan felt his own throat tightening, crap. Come on, not in front of everyone “really?”, he asked. Soos gave a genuine nod and sniffed.

“I uh” Soos cleared his throat, “I was wondering, since Jacob doesn’t have one…if you wanted to be…. his grandpa?

There it was

Stan felt dizzy and took a small step back before remembering who was in his hands and regained his balance. Ford came to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Stan decide not to look at his brother and chose to stare forward, then his eyes went back to Soos, who look deflated. Oh man. Stan was terrified, he didn’t want to say no and hurt Soos, but if he said yes….he wasn’t sure what made him so nervous. The entire concept sounded so alien to him, like he didn’t deserve the title. He always considered Soos, Melody and their son a part of his family. But to bare a title like “grandpa”, had to mean he had children that that children. That he was already a parent without his knowledge. It all felt so natural to want to lean into this and become part of this family like Soos wanted.

He heard something make a noise from beneath himself. Stan looked down at little Jacob, who was mid yawn. The baby’s mouth grew wide opens and inhaled, scrunching up his face and suddenly shut. Suddenly two tiny eyes opened for just a few seconds, enough time for Stan to make eye contact before Jacob shut them and got comfortable again

Everything was different now.

Stan didn’t notice how quiet the room had gotten nor the tears forming in his eyes. Stunned by beauty and overcome with pride and a sense of purpose. The pride he felt teaching Soos math, how to drive and attending his graduation all combined just looking at the perfect being in his arms. If he said yes, he would want everything that came with it. Stan lifted the birth certificate up to read the name again.

Jacob Stanley Ramirez

“Y-Yes”, he heard a shaken voice say, almost not realizing it was his own “of course”. He looked at Soos, tears in his eyes and a bright smile on his face. He still wasn’t sure if he deserved this, but Stan wanted it. He wanted it all. Why not indulge just this once? He gave the certificate to Ford and used his now free hand to pull Soos into a hug. Gently sandwiching his…..grandson in between him……and his son.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fan fiction #stanley pines #stanford pines #soos ramirez #melody #mabel pines #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #pop pop au #poppop!stan #dad!soos #dad!stan

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snarkywrites · 3 years

Text

July Horoscopes: Fixed Drama

Saturn, Mars, and Uranus are all forming a T-Square at the beginning of the month. Things will ease a little a few weeks in as Mars breaks free from the aspect. Everyone will feel this energy since it has made us angry, go at a slow pace and we may feel like we have not accomplished what we would like. However, this month has a lot of changes and movement in store for everyone. The New Moon in Cancer on the 9th is going to serve as an awakening for most of the signs, especially Water signs, as we tune back into our emotions since this is the transition from Air to Water season. Venus and Mars will be moving into Virgo later in the month on the 21st and 29th respectively. A transit that is going to make Earth signs feel more energized. The Sun and Mercury will enter the sign of Leo, a positive feat for Fire signs and Jupiter will return to Aquarius (28th) and the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 23rd will allow Air signs to feel like they are back in the game. There is a lot happening and while it all moves slowly, the shifts will be more prominent once the summer ends. For now, be patient and go slow because rushing will get you nowhere.

Aries – The Sun entering Leo on the 22nd and the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 23rd are going to allow you to focus on major transformations in your social circles. This is also a good transit to switch up your creative styles and try something new if you are an artist. Get ready to feel the intensity of your emotions with the New Moon in Cancer in the 9th as you find the balance between home and career. Mercury entering the same sign on the 11th giving you the plan needed to make some good interior decorating decisions or just strike a deal for a raise at work. For the next four weeks you are going to prioritize self-care and opt to stay and hang with family or close friends. Venus in Virgo also sends a reminder to add a little self-love into your routine when the transit begins on the 21st. Mercury will be in Leo on the 27th, so use this transit to write up a storm, draw, get into photography, sing, anything, really. Jupiter will finally go back into the sign of Aquarius on the 28th and you might expect the unexpected (good) surprises and recognition you deserve.

Taurus – Rebuilding your relationship with your creative side is the theme for the month. When the New Moon in Cancer appears on the 9th, you will be fueled with inspiration. Another plus is that Mercury will be in Cancer on the 11th, motivating and allowing you to be more confident in your self-expression. Venus enters earthy Virgo on the 21st and this trine to your sign is going to add more excitement to your social circles. The Sun enters the sign of Leo on the 22nd, a time for you to take a little breather and focus on home and roots for the next month. When the Full Moon in Aquarius happens on the 23rd, you are going to feel the impact the last six months have had on your career. You will finally see your hard work paying off (assuming you put in the effort). With Mercury in Leo n the 27th, you are going to feel more comfortable in your surroundings and once again, the topics relating to home and your roots take center stage. You might feel compelled to dig deeper into your family history during this transit. The Jupiter Retrograde in Aquarius on the 28th will bring more questions about work and your drive and goals for the future so this is your reminder to stay focused. On the 29th, Mars enters Virgo, expect more excitement with your new (or current) romantic partner as you find new ways to express your love.

Gemini – July is bringing you familiarity. While you find new ways to adjust your finances, the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th, will add some good tactics for growth. Budgeting will come to play with Mercury entering Cancer on the 11th. During the Sun’s entry in Leo, you are going to feel once more in your element, focused on what you have to say and write. Venus enters Virgo on the 21st, a good opportunity to make some renovations at home if you have been thinking about it for a while. Things intensify for you with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 23rd as you feel more in command with yourself during this time. An opportunity to learn from a new course, class or book has presented itself in the last six months, so now will be your time to be tested on your knowledge. Are you ready? Mercury joins the sun on the 27th, bringing you new insights and a joy for the work you have created. Jupiter returns to the sign of Aquarius on the 28th with more lessons and questions about your path and inner growth. If you want to learn more, Saturn will still be there teaching you to evolve. Mars will enter Virgo on the 29th, closing the month but this will be an interesting transit, offering more opportunities to perfect and learn more through the comforts of your home.

Cancer – We are officially in Cancer Season and the New Moon in your sign on the 9th will redirect your goals as the focus is brought back to you, so treat yourself. Mercury in your sign on the 11th will initiate a period of confidence and it will be easy for you to steal the spotlight since everyone will notice how sharp you are during this transit. On the 21st, Venus will be in Virgo, adding a touch of romance to your mind and the way you communicate. You command everyone’s attention now and Venus gives you more magnetism. The Sun will be in Leo on the 22nd bringing a shift to your spending habits. With the Full Moon on the 23rd, you might be more aware than before about where you are planning to see yourself financially for the future. With Mercury in Leo on the 27th, this is all about making plans and being wiser about your purse. You might also be more intrigued to dive deeper and learn about the mystical. Jupiter will move from Pisces to Aquarius, bringing you back down to Earth but adding more optimism in your life. Mars enters Virgo on the 29th, more of the themes Venus brought in but you now must be more aware of how you say things. This transit can make you speak without a filter, so try focus on being more polite if you are compelled to yell.

Leo – A month of guidance and meditation with the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th and Mercury following suit on the 11th. Journaling and meditating will help ease the tension during this transit. It could feel nostalgic, thinking about the past and focusing on the present as Mars and Venus are still in your sign for most of the month. Get ready for excitement as the Sun will be in your sign on the 22nd and the Full Moon in Aquarius will occur on the 23rd. Your relationships come to focus once again, a cycle that began only six months ago will bring you more clarity to answers you may have had earlier this year. As Saturn still make waves in Aquarius, you are noticing your dynamics with others shifting and the Full Moon may highlight this. Mercury will be in your sign on the 27th, giving you that additional star power and energy you have craved since Saturn might have made things a little gloomy. Jupiter will return to Aquarius on the 28th a good transit, even if it is in opposition to your sign. Once more, you will feel that abundant energy showing you much needed love and support. Appreciate it now since it will remain there until the end of the year.

Virgo – Venus will be in your sign on the 21st and this transit will feel a bit like an awakening as you are able to shine. The month starts with the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th which will be extremely different from last year. No longer is Saturn in Capricorn, so the Moon now can be vibrant and bring you joy and fun opportunities, even if it is in a water sign. Mercury will be in Cancer on the 11th, adding more of the same themes from the New Moon so if you have felt alone or isolated, you will be in good company now as your friends give you some much needed support. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 23rd will allow you to focus on yourself and goals for the next six months and with Jupiter entering Aquarius once again on the 28th, you will feel a lot more optimistic about your career plans and the choices you have made for the future. On the 29th, Mars enters your sign, adding more energy and drive. Those dreams you have had might seem more practical now. The month closes with you going full speed ahead and confident.

Libra – Full speed ahead for Libras during the month of July. The New Moon in Cancer is powerful for you since this is going to highlight your career and goals for the next six months. This is your time to make some moves along with the rest of the Cardinal signs. With Saturn no longer in Capricorn, you can see your dreams manifesting. Mercury will enter the same sign on the 11th, giving you insight and motivation to plan. Venus be in Virgo on the 21st, magic, love and romance are highlighted as this occurs in your 12th house. You are embarking on a time where you are focused on your sense of happiness, even if you are single. Prioritize yourself. On the 22nd, Leo season begins, getting you in the mood to meet and greet friends and family in lavish settings. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 23rd will bring you back to topics from six months ago, perhaps a relationship you ended may be rekindled or you have learned to move on and set your sights on better things. Mercury will be in Leo on the 27th, sparking your more dramatic side, just try and not to stir things up. With Jupiter back in Aquarius on the 28th, you are ready to explore your creative side, or this could be a time of reflection for you. The Mars transit in Virgo on the 29th might make you feel irritable. A reminder to focus on some meditation and breathing exercises if things just feel stressful around you.

Scorpio – Nothing sparks changes like a New Moon in a water sign. On the 9th, the New Moon in Cancer is going to make you feel restless and impulsive. Try not to act too out of character. While you may feel the urge to get away, try and focus on channeling that energy into a new project that can be fruitful in the long run. Mercury follows the Moon on the 11th, which will inspire you to begin a new course or study something you have been curious about. Venus enters Virgo on the 21st a good transit to hang with friends. Who know, you could meet someone new through your friends if you are single. Leo season begins on the 22nd, an important transit since this will be the time where your focus shifts on career goals. The Full Moon on the 23rd adds a need to bring some balance to home and work, you are going to be reminded of events from six months ago, so this can be an introspective time for you. With Mercury in the sign of Leo beginning on the 27th, this is a promising transit for you, as you can push forward with your dreams and goals. Have lots of faith in what you want, and you can see that your superiors may even help you get there. Your hard work is paying off. Jupiter will retrograde back in Aquarius on the 28th, more introspection, more analyzing and more plans as Jupiter allows you to rework and change your game plan. An interesting Mars shift in Virgo closes the month on the 29th. Once again, group dynamics come back to play, and you get to meet some interesting people during this time.

Sagittarius – What an interesting month this promises to be for you, Sagittarius. Jupiter, your ruler will go back to the sign of Aquarius on the 28th. This transit will be quite favorable to you since Jupiter will once again make a sextile to your sign and boosting your mind and creative energy until December. This is also a good time to reconnect with friends and family. A New Moon in Cancer on the 9th will allow you to dive deep into your memories and find new ways to let go of the past. Find your source of power during this transit so you can move forward with confidence. Venus enters Virgo on the 21st, a very important time for you since you are going to turn heads and be in the spotlight. Venus will give you some motivation but since the transit might feel calm and lethargic, make sure not to slack off. The Sun enters Leo on the 22nd, which is going to make things a lot easier to manage during the next month. This is your time for inspiration, knowledge, and some creative ventures. The Full Moon in Aquarius will happen on the 23rd, a chance to look back and make some changes to your pending projects. This is your time to revise, edit and redo things if needed. Mercury will enter the sign of Leo on the 27th, making you feel sharp, empowered by your words, and motivated to speak up. Just make sure not to be too preachy here with others and take the time to listen to their views. New career moves will be made when Mars enters Virgo on the 29th, more of a good thing as you get focused to make a lasting and positive impression to those in charge. A reminder to not explode when you feel stressed and to practice some diplomacy from time to time.

Capricorn – Your ruler Saturn continues making challenges in the sign of Aquarius. The energy for this month is a little rough but you always find a way to keep powering through. A notable transit is the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th, a time to reexamine your relationships and maybe even start a new one if you are single. Then Mercury in Cancer begins on the 11th, more relationship topics on your mind and this transit can even make you more emotional communicating with your partner (or a potential new one). Earth signs will be thrilled to see that Venus will be in Virgo on the 21st, adding excitement and grounding energy to your routine. You are here to work, get things done and learn while Venus has some strategies to keep you focused and driven. The Sun will be in Leo on the 22nd, and the Full Moon in Aquarius is on the 23rd adding some eye-opening news when it comes to your finances. Try to buckle down and not splurge too much or you might regret it. Expect a boost with Mercury in Leo beginning on the 27th, if you feel like you are slacking with savings and investment, you may consider learning new ways to stay financially fit. Jupiter will retrograde back in Aquarius on the 28th, adding more optimism to the way you view yourself and the material things in life. You will see more shifts happening when Mars enters Virgo on the 29th, a guiding light that will push you forward now if you have stopped believing in your dreams.

Aquarius – The Full Moon in your sign on the 23rd is going to be a notable event for you since it adds onto the responsibility and hard work you have dealt with this year. But before that happens, the New Moon will be in the sign of Cancer on the 9th which is going to bring some familiar themes from the current Saturn transit. Your work ethic will be highlighted now, and your bosses or teachers may see you in a favorable light; this Moon is a reminder that hard work and results come with patience and focus. While Mercury is also in Cancer on the 11th, you are going to see how you can prioritize and plan in a more efficient way. Things might have felt scattered for you, but you find grounding energy now as you are able to focus and get things done. The Sun enters Leo on the 22nd, allowing you to focus on healing your relationships and when Mercury enters the same sign on the 27th, the energy this transit brings will be promising for your relationship. Jupiter enters your sign again on the 28th, giving you more optimism and if you needed the positive energy, this transit is going to work wonders for you. Mars will change signs on the 29th, entering the realm of Virgo. Here you might feel a little uncomfortable, as Mars will have you churning through the past, but you will find new ways to break free from any thoughts that might be bringing you down.

Pisces – Water energy can be favorable for you with the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th bringing some positive trines to your sign. Mercury will also add flare to water signs beginning on the 11th, so if you are a creative, this energy can boost your imagination. This month can bring a lot of excitement especially if you are single. Venus will ingress in Virgo on the 21st, making an opposition to your sign but still bringing all its lovable Venusian qualities to the table. If you have thought about the prospects of love, this transit will make your heart flutter and make you daydream more than usual. The next day, the Sun enters Leo, and the Full Moon in Aquarius will occur right after that on the 23rd. You are going to be diving deep into your subconscious, reflecting on topics from earlier in the year. This is your moment for some grounding and optimism, even if things feel a little harsh. Jupiter will return to the sign of Aquarius on the 28th, enhancing the prospect of hope and joy in your life. While in your sign, Jupiter showed us our potential and we will experience more of the abundance and joy later in the year. Finally, Mars enters the sign of Virgo on the 29th, initiating a period where you are going to feel much more motivated to accomplish many things. Just remember not to lose your temper on others.

#Astrology #Horoscopes #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

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lem-cup-rev · 2 years

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ID: INVADED (2019)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- some spoilers for early episodes -

Do you want to hear me gush? I’m going to gush in this one.

I was absolutely blown away practically from start to finish. In terms of cerebral thriller anime, this is almost definitely the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.

The very beginning puts us in a simple, abstract scenario. It says, “this is a story about solving a puzzle.”

Then it unfolds a little more. In this procedural, our detective explores a dreamlike subconscious in a dreamlike state of mind. The team, meanwhile, observes his interaction with the dreamscape to draw deductions about real-world crimes. Upon understanding this premise, I fell in love instantly.

Frankly, the puzzles and deductions frequently lost me. A lot of times, I wasn’t sure it quite made sense. And yet it always did a fantastic job of bringing me back in. The stakes for the characters are really clear, and after a little bit I would start to have ‘aha’s about the last plot twist and what it meant. I had so many moments of pure amazement at the way the sci-fi and psychological elements came into view from a brand new angle that totally clicked, or the way established characters and rules came back with brand new relevance that made complete sense. Ultimately, the whole trajectory of the series felt like a really successful building of a twisting, speculative mystery story that knew what it wanted to be and had so much thought and creativity put into it.

The main characters are incredibly interesting and endearing, which was constantly a thrilling surprise given how grim the story is.

Narisago is a fascinating dual figure: when exploring the subconscious, he’s a carefree, charming detective. When he wakes back up, the weight of his personal tragedies and the violence he’s committed comes rushing back to crush him. I find him thrilling to watch like a running drill bouncing around on a table. His grimy dangerousness is palpable, yet his tender heart is painfully clear to us as well.

Hondomachi is a young field agent who begins to show an eerie aptitude for the darker parts of the job. One aspect of her design is extremely funny: I initially imagined she was supposed to be about 16, sort of averaging together the fact that she’s a police officer with the fact that she looks 12. She’s supposed to be like 26. But besides her being a cutie, I love her character quite a bit. She’s extremely good-hearted and sincere, and yet we immediately see her do things and react to things in small ways that offput and frighten other characters, until she’s confronted with the idea that there’s something genuinely wrong with her. Watching her navigate the different sides of herself is such a uniquely sweet and creepy experience.

The show has a really surprising sense of humor that comes out when you least expect it. The characters will be goofy and joke like real people in bizarre situations, and it creates this absolutely delicious feeling of naturalism. The range the writing has between horror, grit, and humor is just unique.

The series’ obsession is serial killers, and its excavation of the subject is so interesting. I think it kind of takes modern knowledge about the patterns and motivations of serial killers, and expands on it to create its own personal mythos, this in-story logic about the nature of “the drive to kill” and what it means about your brain if you are a killer.

The animation is wonderful. During more static scenes the art feels serviceable and efficient; but as soon as there’s more movement, the animation kicks straight into gear and conveys it with flawless realism and charm. And that goes both for fantastical action sequences and for small moments of mundane, characterful movement.

There’s honestly more I could say, but if you want a thick little pitch packet for why you should watch the show, there it is. God, what a bizarre masterpiece.

Anyway it’s basically Inception

#review #spoilers #show #5⭐️#id: invaded #id:invaded

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florbelles · 3 years

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alright everyone, this is a post that i always told myself i would never bother writing, but in light of the new year and fresh starts and clean slates i decided to go ahead and make it, primarily as a housekeeping post (which may or may not make it to most of your dashes since apparently tumblr has hidden me from a few of you on ios rip).

the tl;dr of it is that i will be on a bit of a hiatus for the next week or so — i still intend to answer some of my remaining asks from a couple days ago and check my messages, so by all means, mutuals please feel free to forward over any updates/posts i might otherwise miss or if there’s an ask/prompt meme you’d like me to send things for. ( i mean it, you would be doing me a favor in not falling completely behind ).

normally i would leave it at that, but since certain aspects of this have already been aired publicly, i’ll elaborate a bit.

it’s no secret that there’s a general lack of respect for creators and their intellectual property in fandom spaces, with art and gif repostings being the most notorious. while fortunately in my comparatively small circle this isn’t generally an issue, just within the past month there have been multiple instances of stolen art being reuploaded, someone’s commission getting traced by a charging artist with the commissioner’s oc getting subbed out, the works.

putting the rest under the cut as it pertains to me and touches on some sensitive content (tm).

plagiarism, and intellectual property, is a bit more difficult to viably detect, particularly when, while rampant itself, there have also been several instances of baseless claims of being “ripped off” or plagiarized leading to harassment, bullying, gatekeeping, doxxing, and so on (in this fandom, very, very famously, for offenses such as “same in-game hairstyle with the same generic love interest” or “background detail intuitive to the source material that explains or relates to something canonically true” or “wears aforementioned popular love interest’s shirt”).

so, no, even when someone makes a 1:1 version of my most prominent character without bothering to file the serial numbers off, even with direct phrases copied and pasted from character asks, even when several of the biographical background details that appear either identically or altered slightly with a search and replace (in one instance very literally, with my exact identical verbiage with the exception of one word, which was the WASPy Sport named) came from a seven year old original project and are not in any way derived, intuitive to, or related to the source material, that’s not something i feel comfortable talking about, complaining about, or drawing attention to, because unlike art or images or something material and visible, claims of plagiarism or the theft of intellectual property are something that have a history of being abused.

it’s also something that has happened, to some extent or another, to the majority of fandom writers & creators.

some of that comes with the territory of fandom. some people feel that’s a perfectly acceptable form of character or world building in a fandom space because they don’t differentiate between the intellectual property of a fellow fandom creator and the creative property of the source material, despite the fact that the companies/writers/creators of that source material have been both financially compensated and credited for their work. writing about canon characters with their original names attached is not the same as taking another creator’s character, changing their name (if that), and claiming them as your own.

so, yes, i do understand that, whenever you post something for public consumption in a fandom space, you do so with the knowledge it’s likely that work will either inspire (which is wonderful and one of the massive benefits of creating in a communal space!) others or be stolen (which is considerably less wonderful but, again, at the end of the day is more or less a trade-off that’s made, and, most of the time, amounts to an annoyance at worst).

however. in this specific instance i simply did not want to see it. this character of mine — fairly unsurprisingly, i think — came about years ago as an outlet for the absolute rage and despair i felt when i was left with no recourse in the aftermath of traumatic events because of my reputation for being a Certain Type of Woman. i don’t think i need to spell anything out beyond that. so, no, seeing that character appropriated, but now instead of being a serial killer of predators is now a serial killer of a Certain Type of Woman, no, i did not wish to have to see that on a daily basis.

i also did not want to cause a stir, so i simply filtered that character’s tag and continued on as normal. ultimately filtering wasn’t sufficient, so recently i quietly blocked and went about my business. that should have been the end of it, but unfortunately, upon noticing they were blocked, this person decided to publicly vague me for blocking them (and others who happen to be friends of mine but weren’t in contact for completely unrelated reasons and circumstances).

they complained that i did not give an explanation, so here is that explanation.

i want to reiterate that i am in no respect attempting to come for anyone, call out anyone, or do anything in that vein. i am, however, offering this as an explanation for why tumblr presently isn’t the best of places for my mental health, and reminding everyone to please practice fandom etiquette to keep it fun and safe for everyone.

i will probably regret this novel of a post, but given that i am far from the only person who has had this experience in fandom(s) at large, it’s been gnawing at me for a minute.

love you all, and please have a safe & happy week <3

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nadohunter · 4 years

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kind of disappointing to see you supporting something like H*talia, I liked your art a lot but you support one of the most racist anime out there....

Okay. Lets talk about this. I’m actually going to copy and paste something I already wrote on my main blog about Hetalia then I’ll add a few notes... Yes. Hetalia the show is problematic. I garentee most sane Hetalia fans will agree, the fandom is probably going to go down in fandom culture history as one of the first disaster fandoms way before the fandoms that surrounded voltron or Steven Universe. Again, most Hetalia fans will also probably agree with that. There’s certain bits from the comic and show that are absolutely not okay- however for those of you making a ton of assumptions about ppl who were in that fandom or are excited about the possibility of it coming back-> let me just explain a few things.

1. Hetalia made massive history nerds out of a lot us, it’s not that didn’t have some problematic results and of course it’s very euro-centric. But I’d argue because of this show It made a lot of people interested in the world and history way more than they ever would have and educated themselves further as a result

ADDED NOTE: The fandom, while small, I’d say has grown up a LOT. The people in it are a lot more informed and aware - The abbreviation was changed pretty damn quick as people started coming back with the new season announced from “APH” (Axis Powers Hetalia - We can all know what’s wrong with that) to “HWS” (Hetalia World Stars).

2. If you were a fan of Hetalia…. that honestly actually meant you were more a fan of the fandom than the actual show. Hetalia has more AUs than probably any fandom I’ve EVER seen: these people made a ton of content Off of characters that appeared in episodes less than 5 minutes long. It got to the point where a lot of people’s interpretations of the characters were SO far removed from the original show they may as well just be entirely new characters. I’m not going to sit here and argue like the fandom couldn’t get toxic, I was there, I remember. This is absolutely a piece of media you SHOULD ABSOLUTELY still be critical of and many many many many many people since the day Hetalia showed it’s face and the ended up getting a creepy pasta story made out of it already have. We’ve been here. Fans have used these characters as an easy way to inform and educate, even more so now than there used to be. So any new fans coming in as well may actually learn a lot about history and other cultures. Which can be really important when done right. It CAN aND HAS been done responsibly. So at the very least if you see a few current or ex Hetalians on your radar just don’t automatically assume shit. It’s way more complicated, we’ve all been through this shit before. Us oldies have seen and understood many a fandom through aaaaaallll the highs and lows. We were there. We know both the bad and the good that can come from this, as is the case with literally any fandom ever. All of them can be great, creative, and create friendships and community (I have my long term best friend in large part due to Hetalia) … and they can also be latched on to by people who aren’t gonna have others best interests at heart, and are gonna try and use something for bigotry or being just gross. That’s why you stay I n f o r m e d above all else. If you weren’t there for this whole rodeo before, just… at least get the idea that this ain’t a cut and dry situation FURTHER ADDITION: “One of The most racist anime” is a pretty bold claim. Shows like Attack on Titan I would argue have way more damaging mixed messaging around the holocast and nazism. However I wouldn’t go so far to call fans of it racist. Because either A. People aren’t focusing on that aspect of the anime and just like the cool action or B. They know but they’re consuming and reacting to it critically and making informed choices about where they put their money and time. Naruto and Once Peice - two of THE MOST POPULAR ANIME for a LONG time out there, have characters that are EXTREMELY racist charactures of black people but no one talked about that for a long time. I would also argue that yes, the Hetalia dub has some very racist and problematic things with it, we should all get on funimation’s ASS about that, however, the original sub is mostly harmless outside of just plain not acknowledging the horrors of the holocost - which I think since the show is supposed to stay a comedy is why the author steered away from having things set in the 1940s because at a certain point and most modern Hetalia strips don’t touch it - you either make a mockery of a serious topic (cough cough the musical in a lot of ways) , OR you don’t touch WWII and just keep the setting modern and you can continue making fun of Europeans especially all you want.

Point being, If I draw Hetalia fanart... that is not me putting a stamp of approval on everything in the show. If you see a Hetalia fan drawing a character in a Nazi uniform, or putting the pasty-ass character for America in a Native American headdress of course! Call them the fuck out! We are too! Report and block them! So... yeah. And look, I get it, from an outside perspective where the only thing you’ve heard about Hetalia is the absolutely WORST of it, of course you would feel that way, that’s how most Fandoms get a bad reputation. It IS good to talk about this. And if you or anyone still wants to disagree with me, look I’ll still hear you out... but I think we have to get out of this headspace in any fandom of EITHER YOU STAN EVERYTHING ABOUT SOMETHING AND SUPPORT EVERYTHING ABOUT IT OR YOU MUST HATE AND DESPISE IT. Life... human thoughts... just don’t work like that.

#long post #hws #hetalia #tw #tw discussions of racism and anti semitism #thoughts #response

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thepapergirlandthespiegelman · 3 years

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Castlevania Season 4: I’m not mad, just disappointed

Season 4 is poorly written fanfiction, which is...better than a lot of things could be, I guess.

Spoilers below the cut.

Content warning: trauma, sexual assault, psychological manipulation

The Gods Have Had a Change of Heart

Or, “Season 3 Blocked and Ignored”

Season 3 felt like the fabric of the universe had been twisted just to inflict additional pain. Season 4 overcompensates in the other direction; trauma evaporates, and good things happen for no other reason than to make our favorite characters happy.

The Season 3 finale left two characters in particular totally devastated: Alucard and Hector. Alucard is violently betrayed in a horrifying sexual assault by the first two people he’s spoken to since Trevor and Sypha left. He ends up killing them in self-defense and puts their bodies on stakes outside the castle, alluding to his father’s habit of doing so and potentially hinting at a turn toward evil. Hector is seduced by Lenore and then enslaved using a magic ring.

Yet at the start of Season 4, it’s as if these things never happened. Alucard is troubled, but not totally devastated, certainly not evil. Taka and Sumi are referenced in exactly one conversation with new character, Greta, in which she says the rather tactless throwaway line, “I had a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time once. But they never tried to kill me.” Hector is nominally imprisoned, but immediately seems highly agentic, perhaps even more so than before. He studies, lays traps, and makes secret plans with other people. Furthermore, his relationship with Lenore is completely transformed. From falling to his knees in abject horror and despair at being enslaved, he suddenly switches to light banter, in what is apparently a basically okay, mutually enjoyed romantic/sexual relationship. Manipulative, selfish Lenore is now a sympathetic character struggling to reconcile her own role and feelings with Carmilla’s plans.

The events of season 3 happened, remaining canon in the most basic, literal sense. But the emotional weight attached to them has disappeared into thin air.

Not gonna lie, I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that Alucard and Hector were okay. I’m soft-hearted! I don’t like seeing characters I like suffer! I mean, conflict is important, and I can deal with (or even enjoy in a certain sense) seeing characters suffer if it makes sense and serves a narrative purpose. But as far as I can tell, the season 3 finale was nothing more than lurid, meaningless violence. I probably wouldn’t have continued watching the show if it devolved into nothing more than finding novel ways to torture the characters.

Still, it doesn’t feel quite right to pretend like nothing happened either. Or, really, not that nothing happened, but that those things didn’t matter, didn’t hurt, didn’t leave lasting scars. That’s...almost kind of worse.

But, I thought, I can sort of forgive this sudden shift in the stars, given that there may have been some sort of change in creative direction relating to Ellis’ decreased involvement with the show.* Plus, season 3 was insanity. It’s not like it was full of great writing choices, so if we quietly ignore some of them, maybe that’s for the best.

*I only later learned that Netflix actually chose to continue with Ellis’ season 4 scripts. It is not lost on me that maybe Ellis doesn’t know how to write about the lasting effects of traumatic sexual experiences or how power dynamics can make a sexual relationship problematic because he doesn’t understand that those things exist.

Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening

Pretty Pictures, Not Much Else

Unfortunately, the disconnect between seasons 3 and 4 isn’t the only problem with this season. Although I felt that season 4 was a bit less boring than season 3 (I particularly enjoyed some of the earlier episodes of season 4), it suffers from the same basic problems of Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening.

None of the characters experience any significant development, let alone any sort of coherent arc. Sypha has changed slightly, becoming more rough and jaded. I did really like the scene where she talks about becoming the kind of person who says “shit.” I think it really speaks to how entering into a relationship with someone means taking on aspects of their lifestyle, and how that can change you in ways that you can’t predict and therefore can’t exactly “agree” to. Sometimes those changes are good, sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re neutral, and sometimes it’s difficult to know. But you have to accept that you’re sacrificing some aspects of the person that you could have been if you chose to live completely independently, or with someone else.

Trevor really hasn’t changed since season 1 when he first decided to take up the mantle of hero again. Likewise with Alucard. Hector and Lenore change, as previously noted, but that change is sudden, jarring, and occurs completely off screen in between seasons 3 and 4. Carmilla dies as exactly as she lived: bitter, angry, and violent. Saint Germain just kind of...gets fucked over in a nonsensical subplot, which is its own whole can of worms.

We also get several new characters in season 4, none of whom have developed personalities or motives, nor do they develop any of those things over the course of the season: Greta, Zamfir, Varney, Ratko.

And nobody. Does. Anything.

Trevor and Sypha spend the entire season trying to explore and aid Targoviste, which comes to absolutely nothing. They’re unable to help anyone, Zamfir dies, and they end up just jumping through a magic portal to the actually relevant subplot in the finale. Carmilla literally does little more than draw maps until she’s ultimately killed. Hector plays a minor role in Saint Germain’s extraction of Dracula from Hell; otherwise, he and Lenore basically just exchange banter. Saint Germain does sort of do some stuff? But it’s often unclear how he’s made his connections, who the people who are helping him are, or what exactly he’s doing in terms of his magic beyond “whatever it takes to get back to his lover.”

Sure, there are fight scenes, but they feel meaningless. There’s no context, no stakes. There’s also a LOT of dialogue, and it is. Not well written. Exposition is embarrassingly clumsy at times, and the philosophical musings are cliche at best, muddled and confusing at worst. There’s just not all that much going on.

That is, except for Isaac. But more on him in a second.

What Kind of Show Is This?

When the plot line adapted from Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse ended with season 2, the show struggled to establish a new identity.

Despite nominally dealing with themes like whether humanity is inherently good or evil and how to cope with wrongdoing and loss, seasons 1 and 2 ultimately boiled down to a pretty generic action-adventure/fantasy plot with found family/power of friendship elements. Main characters Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard don’t really wrestle with big philosophical questions or suffer any major defeats. They know that they have to take down Dracula for the good of the world, and they work together as a team to do it, with a little character development relating to their various backstories sprinkled in.

Then season 3 happened, and things got weird. The trio is broken up for what feels like a pretty trivial reason—Alucard has to protect the castle and Belmont hold, I guess? And the result of that decision is that the dynamics for the three main characters are completely unbalanced.

Ellis openly admits that he basically went feral with the writing of season 3, and it shows. The messaging in seasons 1 and 2 was cliche, but consistent. The message of season 3? Anyone’s guess.

Season 4 reversed the darkening of tone from season 3, but shares its inability to pick a story and tell it.

Isaac is the Main Character

Always has been.

While I can’t say that his character or arc are perfect, I can say that he actually has a character and an arc. He starts off motivated by his fierce loyalty to Dracula, then has to struggle to find his purpose once Dracula is gone. He goes from subservient to agentic. He goes from fully endorsing the genocide of humanity and not caring about his own life to seeing some worth in humans and genuinely wanting to live. He has an interesting moment that deepens our understanding of what night creatures are, while also serving as an exploration of the meaning of one’s fundamental nature. Most importantly, these changes happen naturally over the course of the show. They never feel forced or out of the blue, and while I feel like even more could have been done with Isaac’s character, there’s a lot to appreciate about what is there.

If there’s any thread holding Castlevania as a single, coherent work together, it’s Isaac. Not only is his character the best executed and the most coherent over the course of the show, his character explores themes that are larger than himself and relevant to the show as a whole, like those mentioned earlier: misanthropy versus a belief in the value of humanity; the ability to go beyond one’s “nature” or initial circumstances; and how to respond to being wronged or losing something important to you. Exploring the individual lives of characters is great, but really good writing usually requires going beyond that to reflect on broader questions and ideas. Isaac is the only character here that serves that larger purpose.

Sorry...I Just Don’t Buy It

The season 4 finale is crazy, although in a different way from season 3′s.

Varney being Death makes no sense on several different levels. I’m not going to spend a lot of time picking that particular plot twist apart, but I will talk about why I think it doesn’t work at the largest scale, and how I think season 4 might have been done better.

Last minute twists with zero foreshadowing are rarely a good idea, and this is no exception. Why introduce this “Death” entity at the last minute to be the most important battle of the season? The finale of the entire show, even? Besides the lack of logic or emotional buildup, this robs the show of the opportunity to make use of the antagonists that it already has. Since Dracula died, Carmilla has been the obvious choice for a new big bad. Why hasn’t she done more?

Season 4 feels crowded with characters and plot lines that amount to nothing. Why not bring some of these characters together? If Carmilla is the main antagonist, how come she never meets any of the protagonists (except Hector, who is a pretty minor player in this ecosystem) or even affects them in any way?

Season 4 feels like maybe it was trying to make something out of season 3 and the model that it presented, but it ultimately fails to do so. The writers throw the trio back together at the end anyway, so why not have them rejoin sooner and work together? Maybe Sypha and Trevor’s past experience with Saint Germain could have helped Alucard and Greta piece together what he was plotting sooner, rather than all four of them being completely blindsided by it in the penultimate episode. (Sypha and Trevor know that someone is trying to resurrect Dracula, but they fail to find out any actual detail about the plans, despite their supposed attempts.) Have characters actually do stuff, figure stuff out, advance the plot!

Likewise, maybe Carmilla becomes aware of Saint Germain’s scheming, sees it as a threat, and tries to take him down. Maybe she tries to get involved and somehow use alchemy or the Infinite Corridor to her own benefit. What does it look like when power-hungry Carmilla, who wants to rule the world, finds out there’s an entire multiverse out there? That could easily set her up to be a foil to Saint Germain, causing him to realize that what he’s doing is wrong.

What actually ended up happening in the show feels disjointed and often empty. In particular, most of the events that happen in the last two episodes just don’t really work for me. I didn’t like Trevor suddenly sacrificing himself to this random, new, super powerful enemy, or how the gems and dagger that he found just happened to be the perfect weapon to kill this new enemy, or how he inexplicably returns from the dead.

This kind of thing is what I mean when I say that this season feels like fanfiction. Trevor comes back from the dead for no discernible reason other than that it would really suck if he died. Greta as a character seems to literally only exist to be Alucard’s girlfriend and support him so that he doesn’t have to continue to be alone and potentially turn evil. Alucard’s trauma from Taka and Sumi and Hector’s trauma from Lenore are both conveniently erased. Even Dracula and Lisa are resurrected somehow and get their happy ending. And it’s like, I guess I prefer deus ex machina to the opposite (Does that have a name? When everything is going well but then something terrible happens for no reason other than to make things worse for the characters?), but they’re both bad writing.

God. This isn’t even getting into what happened with the Council of Sisters. And I don’t even really like those characters, but that doesn’t mean I want to see their characters handled poorly.

I’m not sorry that I watched until the end, but I can’t in good faith recommend the show as a whole. If you’ve yet to watch Castlevania, just stop at the end of season 2. While there are some shining moments in seasons 3 and 4 (4 more than 3), it’s just really not worth it.

#review #thoughts #television #animation #adult animation #video game adaptation #fantasy #Netflix #Netflix Original #Castlevania #storytelling #writing #characters #plot #character development #vampires #Isaac (Castlevania)

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hopetofantasy · 4 years

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Translated interview with Willem De Schryver

Also on my website: Behind wtFOCK - link in comments

The young stars of Streamz series 'Déjà-vu': 'You learn more on the internet than at school'

‘Déjà-vu’ is the name of the latest Flemish fiction series that’s rolling off the production line of ‘Streamz’. In addition to the traditional list of actors' names, Xenia Borremans (21) and Willem De Schryver (19) are featured as fresh blood in the credits. Two newcomers who shamelessly rival the established values.

Calling Willem De Schryver a newcomer is really failing the truth. He has more than 50,000 followers on Instagram and cannot cross the Ghent Korenmarkt without posing for a selfie. It’s the fault of ‘wtFOCK’, a youth series that mainly takes place online and is extremely popular with all those who saw the light of day after 2000. The chance that you’ve seen Xenia Borremans in action, is much smaller. Her only claim to fame for time being, is the horror short ‘De vijver’. And ofcourse, there’s her family name. Xenia is the only daughter of artist Michaël Borremans, but really wants to make a name for herself now.

How did you get into acting? Borremans: “Ever since I was a child, I wanted to act. There are piles of videos at home in which I try to recreate scenes from old films like ‘Some Like it Hot’. I also acted for ten years at ‘Kopergietery’ (children's theater company in Ghent). Acting was a dream, but I didn't dare to hope for that too much. There was always that little voice in the back of my mind that said, "You don’t only need talent but a lot of luck to make it." That was evident when I started to participate in castings. I often cried when I didn’t get a role.

I didn't dare to hope too much for ‘Déjà-vu’ either. Actually, I had no intention of auditioning at all. For fear of being rejected again. In the end, it’s my mom who pushed me to try. When they called me to say I had the part, it came as a complete surprise.”

De Schryver: “I can recognize myself in that story. I too was always performing plays at home. I did ‘Diction’ on Wednesday afternoons, but that wasn’t more than a hobby. When I no longer felt at home at school in secondary school, I took the step to go to the ‘Lemmensinstuut’ in Leuven. That was a revelation. Suddenly, I was allowed to be involved in theater day in, day out. I was happy to get up in the morning, when before, I often came home crying because I really didn't want to go to school anymore. It was obvious that after secondary school I would take the step to theater education at the ‘KASK’.” Borremans: “I also took the entrance exam at the ‘KASK’, but I wasn’t admitted. Maybe I'll try again next year. But maybe not. I’m not convinced that such an education is necessary. There are plenty of examples of actors and actresses who also made it without a diploma.” De Schryver: “In the classes I’m taking now, there isn’t only attention for acting, but also for making plays. I get building blocks to get started in the future. But, just like Xenia, I’m convinced that it can also be done without it.”

In ‘Déjà-vu’ you play the ideal son and the rebellious adolescent daughter, respectively. How deep did you have to dig for that role? De Schryver: “The role of Max is pretty close to my own personality, so that wasn’t too bad. I only had to practice playing hockey. (laughs) Although as far as I’m concerned, a role does not necessarily have to be written for me. For example, in ‘wtFOCK’ I play a bipolar, gay boy. That’s difficult and I had to do a lot of research for it. But when - like recently - you’re approached on the street by a boy who tells me that through my role he had learned to live with his own bipolarity, then the satisfaction is all the greater. ” Borremans: “I recognized myself super hard in Louise's character. I have done quite a lot of rebellion in my puberty years and just like Louise - who has a mother who makes a living as a radio host - I can be bothered too by the fact that one of my parents is famous.”

In what sense? Borremans: “I’m very proud of my dad, that's not the point. We have a very good relationship. He's my best friend. For real. But my family name isn’t always a gift. Many times in the past people have tried to contact me with the sole intention of getting closer to him. Even people I thought were friends, turned out to be solely interested in me because they were fans of my father's work. I also noticed that some teachers marked my grades more strictly just because I was ‘the daughter of’.” Did that influence you to choose acting and not, for example, drawing? Borremans: “I did drawing. In ‘Sint-Lucas’, just like my father. He did push me a bit in that direction. But I stopped when all the lessons suddenly had to be online due to corona. Dad thinks it's important to get a diploma. I attach less importance to that. I prefer to figure things out on my own. If you have the discipline to do self-study, then that’s in my opinion as valuable as any education. I’ve already learned a lot more on the internet than in school. My mom is part of that story, daddy still has some work to do in that aspect.”

You both had a supporting role on the set of ‘Déjà-vu’. How much pressure did it cause? De Schryver: “I did lie awake at night. Although it had a lot to do with the beginning of the shooting period, when I overslept. I cried when I arrived on the set. Such a gigantic production and it gets delayed, because a rookie like me, is late. In the end we hardly lost any time, but the nights after, I was wide awake in my bed waiting for the alarm to go off.” Borremans: “Willem arrived on the set, crying, but was professional enough to put himself in the shoes of Max a few minutes later. Pretty impressive.” De Schryver: “There really was no time to lose. The makeup artist just had about enough time to get rid of my red eyes, but that was it.” Borremans: “I’ve experienced something similar. During the shooting period, I met with a friend who turned out to have corona. Panic, of course. In the end, the shooting stopped for a week as a precaution. There were some tears then. You have a first major role and then something like that happens. Fortunately, it was handled very well on the set. Everyone came to tell me that it could’ve happened to them too.”

The corona crisis has been defining our lives for over a year now. How do you deal with this? De Schryver: “The first weeks, I didn't mind the lockdown. It gave me a chance to catch my breath. By the way, I still don't miss going out that much. Although that also has to do with ‘wtFOCK’. That show has a very fanatic fan base. And you notice. In any case, going out to a bar with friends was no longer possible without being approached or posing for selfies. When people have been drinking, a number of inhibitions also disappear. As soon as they recognize you, they’ll immediately hang onto you. It made me prefer to stay in the room even before the lockdown.” Borremans: “I’m now 21 years old. This may sound strange, but I’m kinda done with nightlife. Of course, I also want to be able to go out again and see people, but I notice that it’s more difficult for those who are younger. I get bored sometimes. But that also has its positive sides. It makes you do creative things. For example, I started to design and make clothes. Without the lockdown, that would’ve never occurred to me. I never read books either, now I do. Although, I would like for it to gradually return to normal. " De Schryver: “I mainly suffer from touch starvation. Actually hug people. I really miss that. But just like Xenia, I also think this is an interesting period. It makes you think. About yourself, about where you want to go in life.”

The Covid crisis also makes painfully clear how vulnerable creative professions are. Did that change your plans for the future? Borremans: “I was already looking for a plan B before this whole situation. Acting is and remains the big dream. But there are no guarantees. I’ll continue to go for it anyway, but I realize that I cannot assume that I’ll succeed in making acting my livelihood.” De Schryver: “We shouldn't be shy about that: the acting world is a tough world with a lot of competition. It’ll not be easy to make it and I know that there are still difficult moments to come. But I do not intend to suddenly follow other classes just to have something as a back-up. The corona crisis has made me realize even more how important acting is to me. I could never completely push it aside. This’s what I was made for. I just feel that.” Déjà-vu can be seen on Streamz. The series will be released on Play4 later this year.

#wtfock #wtfam

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