#hari's stories

[haunting-hari]

⏳- Good Future with Darkrai perhaps?

//i love you so much for sending this ask. thank you. i love you for this./p /silly

Good Future: eventually, it'll be told. thank you.

[tws: on second thought, none, really. just sad child] [otherwise this one is just TOOTH ROTTING hurt/comfort fluff]

"I just... I just want you to be honest with me. Okay? I know it's been a lot for you. But... I'm here for you, Hari. I can tell you're struggling," Darkrai murmured, hands folded.

Hari worried a pebble between his hands, throwing it off into the bushes somewhere in the garden.

He opened his mouth to speak- to say, 'it's nothing to worry about,' 'you think too much,' maybe to even brush it off with a joke- but..

Hari paused.

Darkrai stopped with him.

Hari swallowed hard. Why was he getting choked up? He wasn't obliged to say anything.

But he wanted to. Some part of him, somewhere, really wanted to tell Darkrai what he's been through. Why was it so hard? Why were his eyes stinging? What was wrong with him?

Darkrai took a breath in. "Hari... are you okay? Is there anything I can do? Please, son..."

Hari slunk to a nearby bench. Darkrai followed, his face turning into worry.

"I apologize," She started, "I didn't mean to-"

"You obviously have recognized something's wrong, is that it?"

Darkrai stopped. He nodded.

"I just..." Hari looked down. "Darkrai, I don't understand why you care. It's been plaguing me. Why do you even bother with me?"

She frowned. "Hari, I think you're a wonderful person. You're pleasant to be around, you're kind to me and others, but there's also a lot to you that I've yet to learn, and I couldn't be happier for every bit of it."

Hari took a shaky breath. "You're saying... I make you happy?"

"And that's only the start."

"..."

"Hari?"

Darkrai watched as Hari shook. She slid off the bench, knelt down, and- and Hari was crying. Silently, and subtly, but crying. ...He hadn't seen him do that. And by the looks of it, not many have seen him do that. To open up and show emotion like that.

"Hari," Darkrai murmured, kneeling beside the boy on the bench.

Hari looked up slighty, unable to meet his friend's eyes, but still looked at her hand.

Darkrai had his hand next to Hari's- it was no longer resting on the bench but instead hovering above the seating, hesitantly reaching for Hari's.

He was asking. It was a silent question.

Hari nodded. Darkrai sat back up, and placed his hand on top of Hari's shaking, pale, frostbitten ones.

She didn't flinch at how cold Hari was. He didn't reel his hand back, even though Darkrai himself was adverse to touch, moreso than Hari was.

He didn't let go.

No matter how many reasons Darkrai didn't have to be holding Hari's hand at that moment, he still felt the other's thumb rubbing over the back of his palm.

She heard a sob. He heard a few. She watched as Hari threw his open head in his hands, and gripped Darkrai's own hand- gently, shakily and unsure, but firmly.

She didn't falter- not for a moment. He didn't reconsider, and he didn't begin to feel uncomfortable at the contact. He watched as Hari struggled to cover his face- something familiar, she thought, as she also knew the hated feeling of vulnerability- but he waited. He let Hari sit for as long as he needed.

After a moment, he collected his breath.

"S..Sorry- That was.. Unexpected. I just.. I didn't think... I... You..." He trailed off.

It was difficult for Hari. Darkrai gave him a list as to why he enjoyed being around him. Gave him reason. Told him that she saw something in him.

"No one else... has..... done that," He said, "No one with.. A human body has... No one......." He got choked up once more-

"No one's loved me. No one's loved me like that, Darkrai."

She rubbed the back of his palm again, rhythmically.

"I.. I just don't know what to say. I'm- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- Shit..-"

He let out another shaky breath. Darkrai looked at him again.

"I can't see a reason as to why you should be sorry, Hari."

"But why? I've never made anyone happy. I know I'll never be perfect, it will never happen- why do you still..?"

"Hari, do you even know anyone else who is?"

"..."

"Why do you hold yourself to those standards."

"...I've always had to. It's how it's always been."

Darkrai sighed. It's been going on for this long? And still, he carries on? And still, this boy stands?

"You're very strong, Hari," She says despite herself.

"..You think so?"

"Sixteen years of holding yourself to things no one has achieved? Sixteen years of thinking that... Oh, Hari..."

Hari laughed, tears welling up in his eyes again. "Almost seventeen, actually."

Darkrai huffed a smile.

"Would you be okay if I stayed for the next years you're gonna go through?" She asked.

Hari looked at him- properly in his eyes, this time. Darkrai could see his greyed pupils, still harboring hints of its old, forgotten crystal blue. He could see his pale face, adorned with the redness of tears. And he saw his mouth quirking into a smile.

"Yeah."

"..."

"Yeah. I'd love that, dad."

[angie-starz]

Their first sighting

[tarohonii]

How To Become A Dragon As Tumblr Text Posts Pt. 1

[casualwriterssideblog]

Dating Jin and this is your snap chat story <3

[canary-song]

hey guys whats up. spidersona playlist cover

[chillinaris]

"Satu orang di sisimu, seberat apapun hidupmu."

[littleperilstories]

The Prince of Thieves: Are You the Invention of a Delirious Dream?

Mood Boards | Chapter Titles | Also on A03! | Playlist | Story Intro

Warnings: mention of getting shot, severely doubting reality, angst

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Have fun being inside Will's brain! It's a super organized, lucid, and coherent place.

Word count: 3342 || Approx reading time: 14 mins

Are You the Invention of a Delirious Dream?

Teaser: I was so alone in there until Bree got tossed in the cell next door. Then she was gone. Now I’m alone again.

Will

Something—everything—about the bed, the house, the warmth, the food, and the lack of people threatening to kill me is unsettling. What’s-Her-Name—Colette’s sister, Colette’s goddamn sister in her enormous goddamn house that to me feels like it could be a royal goddamn palace—leads me around like I’m a lost puppy, and I let her. I think everything Hatchett said about me being a dumb fucking brainless fool is true because the thought of trying to make a single decision right now is too much. So I just let her make them all.

How much time passes, I’m not sure. I think I fell asleep, but I don’t know exactly when that happened. When I wake, I look down at my hands and they’re clean. There are bruises on my wrists, too visible now that they’re not half-hidden by dirt and blood. Too visible against soft sheets that are maybe the softest things I’ve ever felt in my life. Anyone will look at those bruises and know what made them.

I lift my gaze to the ceiling. I’m relieved to find that it’s just a ceiling, no ornate designs or carvings or whatever. If there were, if it was fancy enough to look like some sort of fucking palace I maybe saw in a painting once, I don’t know, I’m not even sure where these ideas are coming from, then I’d know none of this was fucking real and maybe I was still in jail or maybe I got shot and am actually bleeding out on the ground. Which would make sense, actually, because there’s no way this is Colette’s house and this is her family and there’s no way they’re helping us, that they’re actually being kind, and then Colette’s name isn’t her name, and then there’s Colette’s fucking sister, her sister who calls her Lettie and fuck, now that I’m thinking about it, there’s no way any of this can be real, because none of this makes any sense, so I must be dead or dying or maybe I’m still in the cell and this is all in my head. Maybe there was never a trade at all. Maybe that medic got sick of my shit after I shoved him one too many times, and all this is a bizarre hallucination from something he gave me so I’d stop fighting him. I’m still there, and none of this is real, and I’ll be there until I die, and I’ll never see Jamie again. Why isn’t Jamie here? Why would my dumb fucking brain give me a fever dream without my brother in it? I don’t get it, I don’t understand, I don’t—

“Hey, Will?”

I look away from the ceiling and the room comes back. Colette’s sister is in the doorway, inching closer.

“You look upset,” she says. “Are you hurting? Tell me what you need. I’ll get it for you.”

What I need? I don’t even know how to begin to answer.

“I forgot your name,” I say instead. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know this is rude, but I don’t have the energy to care. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s all right.” She steps a little closer. “It’s Verity.”

I glance around. The room is nice but pretty empty other than a desk, an old wardrobe, and the bed. It sinks in that Geoff isn’t in here. I mean, I knew I was alone, but I didn’t really think about it until this moment. “Geoff?”

“He went out,” she says, her voice quiet. “He’s with Lettie. And my father. They went to get…” Her voice trails off.

None of that makes any sense either. The back of my neck prickles. Is this a dream?

I was so alone in there until Bree got tossed in the cell next door. Then she was gone. Now I’m alone again with nothing but a weird goddamn hallucination to keep me company.

I stare at the window and pretend I’m on the other side of it. The whole day has passed, it seems. Night is falling.

“Um. Will?”

This strange girl is still there. For some reason.

“I’m going to bring you some food, all right? I don’t think… I don’t think we’re doing a proper meal tonight. But you must eat. Is there anything you’d like? I can see if we have it or if our cook can make some.” 

If she leaves the room, she’ll disappear into the mists of this dream just like the others, just like Jamie and Bree and Colette and Geoff, there and then gone. And I’ll be completely alone again. “I’m not hungry. It’s all right.”

They say they’re sisters, but they look nothing alike. Colette is slim and tall and all sharp angles, thick dark curls that graze her back that she loves to keep free if she’s not running a job or wearing some sort of disguise. Verity is soft and tiny and round and pale, with silky yellow hair that’s pinned back away from her face. Her dress is pink and covered in roses. I’m sure it would look nice on Colette but I don’t think she’d go anywhere near it.

“Are you really sisters?” I don’t want her to disappear into the dream-graveyard. I don’t want to be alone.

She giggles. “Of course we are! Stepsisters are sisters, after all.”

Stepsisters. That makes more sense.

“Why didn’t she ever mention you?” Please tell me something real. Please be real.

Her face falls a little, but she doesn’t balk. “It’s a… Well, families aren’t always easy or peaceful, are they? Perhaps you’d better ask her.”

My heart sinks. No details, nothing specific. Not a genuine answer.

Nodding, I sigh and wonder why my dying brain has conjured her. I’ve never thought much about Colette’s life before IA. I know it used to drive Jamie mad that she didn’t talk about it, but I never really cared much. So why would I make up some random sister of hers to keep me company instead of my own family?

I must be staring at her, because there’s a bright red flush creeping up her neck into her cheeks. She takes a step back. “I think I’m going to find you some food, anyway. Are you sure there’s nothing you want?”

I shake my head. Well. Guess she wants to leave. No point in keeping her here, then. If she’s not real, she’s not real. Not much I can do about it. Can’t blame her, really. I don’t want to be stuck in my head, either.

So I let her disappear. Lie back in the pillows. 

Maybe I doze off. I try not to for as long as I can manage. It’s not like I want to wake up back in jail. But I can’t help it. Eventually sleep pulls me under again.

When I open my eyes, she’s back. And I’m still in bed. Still half under a blanket, slumped but mostly upright. That ever-present ache still throbbing away in my chest.

Maybe—maybe this might be real after all?

“Why don’t you come downstairs?” she says, holding out her hand. “There’s something you should see.”

I shake my head. I don’t want to move. What if moving is what will wake me up? What if the floor crumbles and falls away beneath my feet? If the polished wood turns to grimy stone?

“Come down.” She holds out her hand, pursing her lip stubbornly when I don’t take it. After a moment, she reaches down and presses her fingers against mine. “I promise it’s worth it. Just come with me.”

You’re bossy, you know that?

I prefer persistent.

“Let’s go,” Verity says, and gently, she tugs at my arm until I get to my feet.

“Verie! Where’d you go?” Colette is back, from the sound of it, calling to her sister quietly. “Make sure when you get him, you warn him—”

I step into the room where her voice is coming from, and what I see punches me in the fucking gut.

That goddamn medic.

The pain leaching through my body—all but forgotten. I hurl myself at him, I’ll fucking tear him apart, because what, what is he doing here—

“No.” Geoff catches me by the arm. I’d struggle to get away from him on my best day; there’s no way I’m escaping his hold now. “Wait.”

“Wait for what?” He’s here, he’s one of them and he’s here, and that means—that means that I was fucking right, that this is nothing but a dream and reality is leaking in, and I don’t want it, I don’t want it to—

“Get out,” I say to Allan Armstrong Dale. “Get out of this house. Get out of my head. Whichever one it is, I don’t know, I don’t fucking care, get out, get out—”

“Shit,” I hear Colette whisper. Geoff’s grip tightens.

“Will, listen—” Armstrong and Colette speak the same words at the same time. It’s Colette who gets an extra few out. “—we brought him with us because—” 

“No, you listen!” I’m not ready, I’m not, I was just lying upstairs and close to comfortable for the first time in weeks, I knew all of this might not be real, but now that I know it’s not, it hurts, it hurts so fucking much, and I’m not ready to face the cell again, and seeing him here means I have… How long? Before the dream cracks open and I’m back there? “What the fuck are you doing here? How did you even get here? And why? What did you do to me? What did you give me?”

His face contorts—he has the gall to look genuinely confused. “What are you—”

“I’ll kill you—”

Verity touches my arm, and I can’t stop myself from flinching away from her. She stares at me sadly for a moment, then pulls her hand away, nodding her head toward the door across the room. “Look.”

I follow her gaze even though I’m afraid of what I’ll see. If I walk through that door, will I wake up?

“Come on,” she says, and I hate her for being so fucking calm, although I guess that’s easy for her since she isn’t real. “Just look.”

She tucks her arm into mine, and the only reason I don’t shove her away is that I know even fake-hallucination-Colette will kick my ass if I hurt her fake-hallucination-sister. No matter how much I want to rip Armstrong’s limbs from his body. No matter how much he deserves it for being one of them.

“What was he talking about?” I can hear Geoff murmuring to the others. “Not making sense…”

“No idea, but..”

Their words don’t reach me when I realize what—no, who—Verity is leading me to see.

“Jamie?” I can barely get his name last my lips.

No. This—I was so sure—This can’t be—

“Lettie found him,” Verity says, beaming up at me. “That’s your brother, right?”

I stumble forward like a fucking newborn deer, unable to stand, hardly able to breathe. “Alive?”

“Yes, of course he’s—”

“Jamie!” He doesn’t respond, and as I spin wildly to look at Verity again, I see that Colette and Geoff have slipped into the room, too. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’ll be fine,” Colette says, hurrying over, grabbing my hands. “Listen, all right? Look at me. Are you lis—Will. Will.”

How am I supposed to—

She squeezes my fingers just a little tighter. “Look at me. Listen. It’s all right. He’s all right.”

“He didn’t answer me,” I say. My voice cracks.

“I know. That’s because Allan gave him something for his pain and it put him to sleep, all right? He got shot after the trade, but he’s fine. He’s going to live.”

“Allan…” Even though I know Allan is Armstrong and Armstrong is that fucking medic, it still takes me a moment to realize who she means. “Shot…”

“Say it,” Colette says. “Say it with me. He’s all right. He’s going to live.”

I’m not a child, I want to say. What comes out is, “This is real?”

Colette blinks. “What?”

“This is real? You’re real?”

“Will—of course—”

“This isn’t a dream?”

“No…”

“It’s really real?”

I’ve never seen Colette burst into tears, but she does now.

“Oh, Lettie,” Verity whispers, crossing the room to throw her arms around her sister. To me, she says gently, “It’s real. I promise.”

It’s real.

This is all real.

When I look up, Allan Armstrong Dale has come in, too, and he’s inching his way across the room. Toward Jamie. Toward me.

I feel more than hear or see Geoff shift a little closer, obviously ready to grab me again if I decide to go for Armstrong’s throat. Which I still might do.

“I understand that you don’t trust me and might never trust me,” Armstrong says, raising his hands. “I promise. I’m only here to help.”

Barely audible, Geoff says to me, “Jamie’d be dead if it weren’t for him.”

The only thing I can think of to say is, “I’m not leaving this room.”

Armstrong nods, apparently unsurprised and unbothered, and Verity and Colette pull away from each other, the former mumbling something about bringing chairs. Not that it matters to me. If I have to sit up on the floor day and night, I’ll do it. My brother is here and he’s alive.

I end up falling asleep again at some point, upright with my back pressed against the couch where they laid Jamie once they brought him in. When I wake, my neck and back in as much pain as my ribs, Armstrong tries to get me to let him look me over. I tell him if he touches me, I’ll rip his whole fucking hand off, and he doesn’t waste any time scurrying out of the room.

“Will?”

Relief so fierce it hurts rushes through me.

“You’re…alive…”

Never has such an obvious fucking statement ever made me so happy in my entire life.

Jamie grunts as he turns his head toward me. God, he’s pale.

But alive. He’s alive, too.

I don’t know how to answer his question, so I say, “Why are you lying around in bed? Get your lazy ass up and do some work like the rest of us.”

He laughs for a split second before the movement makes him groan in pain again.

“You don’t know how happy I am to see your annoying, stupid face,” I say.

“The feeling is mutual.” He doesn’t say more, but takes a few long minutes to breathe.

“Is everyone here?” He takes his gaze off the ceiling and looks at me. I wish his skin didn’t look so grey, or his voice sound so strained.

“Geoff,” I start, knowing whose name he’ll want first, “Colette, Allan, me, Colette’s sister—did you fucking know she had a sister? A whole goddamn family in a nice mansion?”

“Not till yesterday, or today, or whenever the hell it was,” he mumbles. “I can’t believe she never said anything.”

“Me neither.”

“I can hear you two jackasses in there,” Colette says, poking her head through the doorway. “Did I ever pester you about your life before? Do you want me to know everything about your damn childhood? Hmm? No? Then shut the fuck up.”

From somewhere in the other room, a timid voice says, “Lettie, your language!”

Laughing at that makes my ribs ache even more, but I don’t care, because Jamie is here next to me and Colette is in front of me getting chastised by her sister who calls her—

“Yeah, Lettie,” I say, watching a deep flush rise in her cheeks, “watch your mouth.”

“Will Wardrew, I swear to god—”

Someone, either Verity or Geoff, probably, tugs her away and out of sight.

“You’re still an asshole, then,” Jamie says, his eyes closed again. He’s sweating now. “Will, I was so…”

I do not know enough words to describe everything that rises inside me when I look at my brother who is lying immobile before me, who I thought had to be dead or a figment of my imagination, who nearly died to get me back my freedom, who never gave up on me when I was sure he had and who could’ve skipped town and never come back but chose not to.

“I’m sorry,” I say. Again—not the words I meant to say. They slip out anyway.

Jamie’s eyes fly open. “For what?”

“For getting arrested. For ruining everything.”

IA is dead now; it has to be. How can it go on? Our runners are gone. Our home is gone. Hatchett knows all our names.

Hatchett. And suddenly that’s the only thing I can think of. Where is Hatchett? Is he alive? Dead? Looking for us as we speak? What if he…

“Will, don’t you dare try to apol—”

“Hatchett.” The new thought spills out before he can finish his, burning my tongue like live flames. “Is he…”

Jamie’s protestations and reassurances—as if there’s anything he can say to convince me it isn’t my fault IA is over now—die. “Alive, last I saw.”

Fuck.

“He’s never getting close to you ever again,” Jamie says. “I let—I let him go. I had to. But.” God. He sounds so pained. “But if. If I have to. I will kill him myself.”

No. If anyone is going to kill Baden Hatchett, it’s going to be me.

“She told me.” His voice is tight. “What he did. How he tricked you—”

She.

“Fuck! Bree!”

It strikes me only right fucking now that she didn’t come back with Jamie and the medic. “Where is she?”

Jamie blinks, and something cold slithers through me. He doesn’t know, either.

“Shit,” Colette says from the other room.

Her quiet cursing is immediately followed by, “I better make some tea.” Geoff’s footsteps grow distant.

“Colette, what the hell happened to her?” I’d run out of this room if I could. If it wouldn’t hurt so bad, I’d hurl myself into the other room to see the look in Colette’s eyes and hear her tell me…

God, god, what is wrong with me? I didn’t even realize until this moment that one of us was missing.

Slowly, Colette reappears. She comes into Jamie’s room fully this time instead of hovering in the doorway, and the look on her face makes the hairs stand up on my neck. No. No, if something terrible had happened to Bree, if she was recaptured, if she was dead, they’d say, they would tell me.

“When we went to bring everyone back here, no one could find her. She was gone.” From her pocket, Colette pulls out a folded piece of paper. “I don’t know where she went. She left this. It’s for you.”

She’s gone.

“Yeah. Left that and made off with my old pocket watch and a bag of coins,” Armstrong says, invisible on the other side of the wall.

I’d be laughing about how she pulled the old IA treatment on him if Colette’s words weren’t bouncing around the inside of my skull. She’s gone. She left. She’s gone. She left.

“I’m sorry,” Colette says gently, holding out the note.

I take the paper but drop it on the floor next to me. Suddenly my chest is hurting extra bad, worse than it was a few minutes ago, and my jaw aches. Feels tight. “All right. Thanks.”

She’s gone.

What do I care if she left? I don’t. I don’t care. It’s probably fucking better this way. What would I even say to her, if I were looking at her now?

Thanks for coming back for me. Thanks for finding Jamie. Thanks for not letting me die.

I really wish we could have gotten to know each other under better circumstances.

I hope you get to see the ocean.

I wish we had…

No. There’s nothing I’d say to her, actually. It’s better she ran away without saying goodbye. I’m glad.

Both Jamie and Colette are staring at me. “Will?”

“What?”

“You all right?”

“I’m fine,” I say. I’m out of jail. Jamie’s alive. Hatchett can’t find me here. I’m fine.

Everything’s fine.

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Tagging: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @gala1981, @kixngiggles, @whither-wander-whump 💕

[death-of-cats]

300 AC is going to be the year of realizing things 💅

[berma-dalam-titik]

Emang dasarnya moody-an? Atau ...

Seringkali, hampir setiap saat bahkan, rasanya malas melakukan apa pun. Tubuh tidak mudah bergerak, niat tak kunjung terkumpul. Seakan setiap tugas dan pekerjaan hanya bisa diselesaikan saat ada mood.

Itu hal yang buruk? Tentu saja aku tahu. Aku sadar betul bergantung pada mood adalah hal yang buruk. Bisa dibilang, aku pemalas luar biasa yang tak jarang membuang semua kesempatan yang pernah datang padaku.

Mimpiku banyak. Wishlist-ku terus bertumpuk. Mulut selalu craving makanan-makanan yang belum pernah dicoba, atau yang ingin dimakan berulang kali tanpa henti. Harusnya semua itu sudah cukup untuk jadi alasan bangkit, memulai sesuatu. Buruan gawé biar yang dimau bisa dicoret satu-satu.

Harusnya.

Di satu sisi, aku sadar kalau aku hanya melempar semuanya ke mood, padahal aslinya malas. Namun di sisi lain, aku juga sadar kalau aku sudah berusaha terlalu banyak selama beberapa bulan terakhir.

Skripsi, sidang, revisi, bolak-balik kampus untuk mengurus sisa administrasi, hingga akhirnya wisuda. Selama lebih dari lima bulan aku mengerjakan itu semua hampir tidak berhenti. Aku masih berusaha meluangkan waktu untuk sekadar login game, nonton anime, atau baca manga. Semua coba kulakukan se-seimbang mungkin, berharap tubuh dan kewarasan tak tumbang. Namun ternyata, layaknya botol sampo yang masih terus diisi air dan dipencet berulang kali, akhirnya habis juga, tak bersisa.

Niatku untuk memulai lembaran baru, habis tak bersisa.

Sebut saja aku pemalas yang berlindung di balik kata moody-an. Sebut saja aku pemalas yang sedang mencari-cari alasan untuk membela argumenku saat ini. Namun nyatanya, tubuh, hati, bahkan semangat juangku membutuhkan waktu. Waktu untuk beristirahat, dan waktu untuk membenahi semuanya sebelum memulai kembali dari nol.

Mungkin, aku emang dasarnya "moody-an." Apa yang sudah kutulis di awal, rasanya sudah menjelaskan kalau aku memang orang yang malas dan menggantungkan semuanya pada "niat." Namun, mungkin juga aku memang hanya butuh istirahat, setidaknya untuk sekarang.

Manapun yang benar, sekurang-kurangnya aku tidak berniat jadi beban keluarga dan ingin menuntaskan semua wishlist yang sudah menumpuk itu.

[juandaododay]

22082024

Hari ini saya lagi butuh banget uang buat keperluan yang amat sangat mendesak. Benar-benar gak ada sama sekali uang alias nol rupiah.

Satu-satunya cara yang boleh saya lakukan adalah pasrah Kepada-Nya. Benar-benar buntuh, tak ada jalan. Saya pasrah namun tetap optimis Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala tak akan membiarkan saya.

Saat saya sedang duduk sambil mikir keras mau dapat darimana uangnya, tiba-tiba muncul seseorang masuk ke rumah sambil bawa satu kantong plastik roti.

Tak banyak basa-basi, saya langsung nanya kepada seseorang itu, "Adakah orang yang biasa meminjamkan uang meskipun berbunga dengan jangka waktu satu bulan?"

"Ada, coba kamu minjam ke si bunga (nama saya samarkan), dia biasa meminjamkan uang kepada orang-orang", jawabnya.

Segera saya inbox orang tersebut. Sambil nunggu jawaban dari bunga, tiba-tiba seseorang itu langsung beranjak pulang ke rumahnya.

"Sini, ikut saya". Seseorang itu memanggil saya ikut ke rumahnya.

Sampai di rumahnya, seseorang itu memberi uang sebesar yang saya perlu. "Ini uang kamu pakai dulu, nanti kalau saya sudah perlu uang ini, saya kabarin ke kamu" ungkap seseorang itu.

Betapa terkejutnya saya, seseorang yang benar-benar tidak pernah terlintas di benak saya tiba-tiba Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala hadirkan untuk membantu saya.

Saya pulang ke rumah dengan penuh rasa syukur, pengen nangis, mulut tak henti memuji-Nya. Benar-benar satu keajaiban yang nyata yang saya alami hari ini.

Dear sahabatku! Apapun ujianmu hari ini, yakin dan percaya, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala tidak akan pernah membiarkanmu. Tidak akan pernah.

Selama kamu yakin dan percaya, serta pasrah dan berharap pertolongan hanya Kepada Allah Subhanahu Wa' Ta'ala, ujian seberat apapun pasti selalu ada solusi dari arah yang tidak pernah kita duga.

Sekian keajaiban hari ini, semoga bermanfaat.

With Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, nothing is impossible.

[haunting-hari]

if that's how it's always been hari and aconite

tws: blood/gore, ptsd/panic attacks, implied abuse

//ummmm its been a while since i've written a story. and i wanted to put This Guy Through It! featuring dragon sibling who wants to help. they're both in agony. yippee! regard the tws, its okay if you're uncomfy reading it :]

The window was open. The nights were warmer, but it wasn't warm enough to keep the window open. Then again, a lot of things about Hari were odd, anyways. Aconite slid through the window.

The room was dark. It didn't matter to Aconite, but someone was in the room. That's... Odd. Aco poked at the heap under the covers.

A groan sounded.

"Hey. Hi. Hellooooo?"

No response.

It smacked with a wing.

"Hariiiiiiii I know you're in thereeeeee.."

The lump shook, now that Aco was looking properly.

"Hari?"

"...."

"Hari are you okay?"

Aco barely strained its ears enough to hear a small sob. Ah, shit. It moved the bedsheets slightly. Hari's eyes glazed over, and he held himself, shaking. Something was wrong.

"Hari. Hari, look at me. Hari?"

Hari wasn't wearing his overshirt. That's... Odd.

Aco looked at what Hari was holding so tightly. His upper arms. Why..?

Blood poured out of scars. Aco looked at the covering, finding it was also touched by blood. They put a hand to the stain, but the blood wasn't warm at all, despite having been pulled off. None of Hari was warm, actually.

"Hari, can you hear me?" Aco was shaking. This looked.. shit, none of this was good.

"Yes," Hari murmured absent-mindedly. "I'm fine."

"Hari, don't give me that bullshit, you're-"

"I'm fine," He repeated like a mantra. "I'm okay. You can go. I'm fine."

Aco clenched their fist, and used their other arm to hoist Hari up. He elicited no reaction, yet still drove his nails into his arm.

"Hari let go," Aco coaxed.

"I'm fine-"

"Hari. Let go."

"I'm okay, you can go, I'm-"

"Hari look at me."

Silence.

"I need you to look at me right now, Hari."

"....."

Aconite's voice noticeably raised. "Hari."

Hari shook more intensely. Was this bad? Or was he just trying to start moving.

"Hari!" Aco yelled, reverberating through the room.

Hari hiccuped.

"I'm sorry," He murmured, eyes still unfocused. "Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'll listen, mom please don't- please- I won't-"

....

He was fighting back tears, visibly. Blood dripped to the soiled white sheets, but still offering no warmth. Aconite was scared to say anything. What should they do? He was scared. He was so scared, it agonized the other.

Hari took a shaky breath. He dug his hands further into his arms, trying to rip out flesh.

Ah. That was an issue.

Aco brought their hands to Hari's, gently trying to remove them. Their hands touched the icy skin, and Hari near screamed.

"..Aconite? Aconite, what are you- Aconite get out!"

Hari dug his hands in harder by reflex.

Aco pushed their hands back to Hari's, and paused when a tear hit its own skin.

"Fuck, just- Aco please now is a terrible time, just get out, get out-"

"Are you fucking with me?? You expect me to leave when you need help? Why would I ever do that?"

Hari squirmed, trying to move back. "Aco, please," He begged, voice failing him. "Don't- Please don't-"

Hands attempted to lift Hari's fingers.

"Don't touch me!"

Aconite lifted their arms a bit. Hari was audibly hyperventilating, no longer looking at what little of Aconite his non-nocturnal self could see.

"Hari-"

"Please don't hurt me, please, please, I- I know I deserve it but I'll be better, I'll be perfect, just don't hurt me- I'm listening, I'm so sorry-"

"Listen to me."

A shaky sob escaped the boy's lips.

"I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you ever again. Do you hear me?"

"Don't lie," He gasped out, "Don't promise me something not real."

"What's not real right now is the threat you're feeling. No one's hurting you. Please let your hands go. It will be okay."

Hari suddenly stiffened. He touched his face.

"Fuck- fuck, fuck, no, no- are you-?"

"What's wrong?"

"No, I'm not supposed to cry, I haven't learned-"

Aconite roughly grabbed the other.

"You are safe here. You are not there. You are here. With me. I need you to breathe."

Hari chewed the inside of his mouth.

"You can cry."

He hiccuped.

"You don't have to worry about me, or anyone else right now. You can cry."

As if a switch was flipped, Hari broke down. He broke into tears, and continued gripping himself. Aconite redirected his arms to theirs, and he squeezed Aco's hands like a lifeline.

They sat like that for a while. Blood still easing out of Hari's battered upper-arms, tears welling up and falling, as sorrow's crescendo always seems to go.

Hari quieted after an exhausting while of blubbering, struggling for words, and holding onto Aco like it would push him away.

He tried catching his breath. "I'm so, so sorry about this, you were never supposed to see me like-"

"Hari, stop."

"..."

"If you ever try to fucking apologize, I'll (metaphorically) kick your ass. Why didn't you get me?"

"Aconite, this isn't some huge thing, this-"

"Huge thing??? As if you weren't trying to rip out your arteries?"

"This has happened more times than I can count, and it's never been an issue-"

"More times than you can- Are you fucking serious?"

"I'm sorry," His voice began to waver once more, "I'm sorry, Please-"

"Did you never let anyone see you?"

"Not- No one other than Maru, and that's only when she happens to be here-"

"You would never get her?"

"No, I would never want to bother him-!"

"Do you seriously think you're a bother?"

"Yes! Yes, Aconite, I'm a fucking nuisance! Why do you keep dumping so much work onto me? How much funding have you even given me? How much have you given that you could have kept for yourself? I can't name a single time I've ever been anything close to a benefit to you, and I can't believ-"

Aconite lunged its hands to Hari's face.

"Don't you ever fucking say that. Don't. What, do you think all you are is just some project?"

Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Who would ever do that? Treat you like nothing? Like a fucking experiment?"

"My father," He choked out. "He left the moment I..."

Aconite froze.

"Where is he."

"Don't fucking do this, Aconite, he's long gone. No one was anything to him, not his wife, not his- certainly not his son- Nothing."

"He's long gone and you still fucking think he's out to get you?"

"...."

Aconite sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it's not easy to just... to just 'remember it's gone'. But- Hari, you went all this time- your whole life, and you told no one but Maru?"

"Maru was there," Hari said shakily. "The reason I di- I ran is because my mom tried killing her. I would have never bitten back under any other circumstance."

There was a dead silence.

"Aconite-?"

"What."

"Aconite, you- it- Your hands-"

Aco looked at their hands. Nothing was wrong with them.

"It burns."

"..."

Aconite paused. They slowly let go.

"Hari."

"..Yes?"

"Just let me help you, Hari."

"...Why?"

Aconite bit back a sob of their own. "Because I fucking love you, Hari. I care. I care so much. Just let me help you."

"Why?? What is there to love? I can't give you a thing back. You're wasting your-"

"Hari," Aco cautioned, "Fucking listen to me. I don't care if I 'dont get anything back'. I don't care. I care about you. Just let me fucking care. Just let me."

Hari's head hit the bedframe with a small 'thump'. He took yet another long, shaky, breath.

"What will it take to make you believe it?"

Hari blinked. "What?"

"To make you believe you aren't some waste."

"It's all I've ever known," He sighs.

"Doesn't it feel like shit? Don't you feel like shit? I want to make you feel better, you just need to let me. You need to understand you aren't a waste. You're not a burden, you aren't-"

"It doesn't matter if it feels bad or not. Anything feels comfortable if that's how it's always been."

"..."

"I'd be in agony either way. This would happen again, either way. Please, just don't waste what you have. You mean too much to throw your life away."

Aconite stood. Hari's eyes didn't even follow.

"You won't even listen to me. I'm getting Maru. And I'm telling her about what happened. And if you don't get your shit together about 'being a burden' I'm going to be so pissed. Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

There was a pause.

"..Yes, f- Aconite. I will."

Aconite hung in the doorway.

What?

What was Hari trying to say?

A plead? An insult?

Aconite closed the door. It didn't matter what Hari stopped himself from saying. Waiting wouldn't fix this.

"Yes. Yes, Father, I will."

[noxinkwell]

Chapter 3 of Constellations and Miscommunications is up!

Chapter 3 of Constellations and Miscommunications is up! Which is exciting of how freaking devastating the last chapter was!

Title: Constellations and Miscommunications Rating: E (explicit sexual content; mentions and depictions of mental health-PLEASE MIND TAGS) Word count: 8K+ as of now (will be 21K unless the edits add or decrease more!) Summary:

For the last year, Hermione and Draco’s relationship was a dream come true, hidden away from from prying eyes. That is, until it was time for Hermione to meet his mother.

Then, everything fell apart.

One year later, Draco is revealing two new potions—one to heal the ‘souls’ and the other is to heal a close friend. Hermione is forced to re-live their relationship when she’s invited to a Healers’ Gala hosted by the Malfoy Family to celebrate this momentous occasion.

Tonight’s gala was only for her career. Hermione could get through one more night of seeing her ex and then she can move on… right?

Based on: The Story of Us-Taylor Swift.

Oh, a simple complication Miscommunications lead to fall out So many things that I wish you knew So many walls up I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking and I'm dying to know Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah I don't know what to say since the twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Lil preview:

Hermione stood at the threshold of the manor. The large stone mansion loomed over her, prompting a lump in her throat. Four seasons had passed since Draco had left her flat–a whole year since she’d seen him. She spared no effort to avoid him in every possible manner until this very night. When she had received the invitation, she was tempted to burn it along with anything else that reminded her of him—just like the article that destroyed them.  Hermione gripped tighter on the invitation, staring down at it.  Dr Hermione Granger and Guest: Dragon’s Breath Alchemy and Potions with the support of the House of Malfoy cordially invites you to its first Annual Gala of Alchemy.  Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy is proud to announce two of his newest concocted potions. The first serves to mend the soul of a wizard or witch. His new potion promises to combine Draught of Peace with his own new recipe that aims to brighten the lives of wizards or witches that have been suffering since the war.  Mr Malfoy’s second potion has been a work of passion and friendship. It provides a way to heal what the Wizarding World believed to be incurable. He hopes to unveil its true purpose at this historical event with a dear friend.  Mr Malfoy wishes to invite all Healers, hospital staff, trainees, and department heads of the Ministry of Magic to this remarkable event for what is sure to be a world-renowned breakthrough in caring for wizards and witches alike.  Saturday, 27 October 2007 From five o’clock to midnight Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire, England  Please bring this invitation and present it at the door.  “You alright, Hermione?” Ron asked–his voice pulling her out of her thoughts.  She blinked; Ron and Harry peered at her with worried looks. Ron’s hand found hers, squeezing it tightly.  Hermione forced a smile and met his stare. Ron was her best friend–a safe place in his own right. Something Draco clearly never fully understood. The irony of her holding Ron’s hand in front of the Malfoys’ home was not lost on her.  “I’m just…” Hermione sighed. “Anxious.” She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, hoping to slow her heart rate. 

[hisiggy]

“Red bra “4 photos November 2023

[jenniesource]

via Instagram

[l3monsoda]

I have this stupid romanticized fantasy where I have a teaparty book club. It's a normal book club that meets periodically but when they do it's a tea party and everyone sips teas and eats finger sandwiches and has fun being dainty while talking books.

This dream will never come true because it requires a set of impossible to achieve conditions. First a friend group or social circle of similarly inclined individuals large enough to pull from to get a group of 4-7 people big enough for interesting conversations. Second all members of said group would have to have the necessary amount for free time to actually read the book AND a consistent enough schedule to plan for and attend meetings on a regular basis. Third the only way to maintain sustainability for something like this is if either each member takes turns hosting or there is some kind of money pool and or distribution of tasks for setting up tea which is another time and resource factor that members would have to be able to afford.

And even if by some far away and out of reach middle class dreams miracle all these factors DID manage to come together it STILL wouldn't work because literally no one in my social circles like any of the books I do so I would have to read books I don't like every month or no one would join. Or more likely I'd try it for a few months just get tired of the book choice and eave and every one else would go on living my fantasy without me because just like how I never get the aux cord, no one is letting me curate the book club reading list.

[ecxhanadi]

The Cursed Mirror

One day before Hari Raya appeared, everyone in the house was busy preparing traditional cuisines such as Rendang, Lemang, and Lontong. Some of my relatives helped decorate the house with colorful curtains, painted the house, changed the covers of the couch and cleaned the floor while my sisters were wiping the windows. As for me and Sarah, my cousin, we helped our grandma make Ketupat, it was really exhausting until we didn’t realize the time went so fast and we knew everything was already prepared. The joy of everyone in the house can be described as the kids were rustling and playing around, and the atmosphere got crazy. The next morning, Sarah and I woke up earlier and got out of our bedroom. We saw our siblings, parents and relatives already prepared. So, we quickly lined up in front of the bathroom and took a turn to shower. Then, we wore our ‘Baju Kurung’ and sprayed some perfume. We went to the mosque and performed ‘Hari Raya’ prayers. After finishing the prayer and going back to home, we started to apologize to each other if there were any wrong-doings and hopefully will be forgiven. Then, our parents and grandparents gave us ‘Duit Raya’. It was simple yet the recipe of happiness. Anyone have a guess how much Duit Raya I got from my parents? YEAH… It was RM 50, which is too much! But to be HONEST, that’s not what I want for Hari Raya this year because it seems familiar to me every year they’d have to give the same thing and that’s not important. All I wanted was some fun and forgiveness from my parents. I know it’s hard for some people to properly forgive someone if they’ve ever done something cruelly but wishing I was free from the darkness and cruelty. The first thing we had to do was all my relatives gathered in a circle at the dining room to enjoy the meals that were cooked by my aunties and my mother. On the other side of the house, Sarah and I were chatting while eating our food and others were taking a picture of themselves using their cameras and mobile phones because Hari Raya permits you to have an extra time where everybody has got to do something crazy.

In the evening, my family, relatives and I are going to visit some of their friends' houses. Sarah and I were wandering outside while our family was busy talking to their friends, and we found an abandoned house. We decided to enter the house and we found a mirror. It was still good, so we picked it up and brought it home. Inside our room, we noticed there was a piece of letter at the end of the corner of the mirror. The latter contained weird photos of a boy named start with letter K and two girls named Mei and Aoi with strange arms at the back of each of the photos. I gave a surprised response. Sarah mentions that she once saw them, she frequently catches hands growing out of the corner of her eye. She expresses her frustration of these hands prompting concerns from me asking if she is all right. Suddenly, she notices something and points it out. We both turned our backs and saw many hands in the mirror. In panic, Sarah asks what they want, reckoning that they are here to grab her legs. This provoked me to make an attempt to exorcize them by challenging the hands in an arm wrestling. I lost instantly. The hand then disappeared. Sarah notices the hand disappearing from the photos. I suggest they wanted attention. I explained to Sarah that most lesser spirits are satisfied and disappear once their desires are resolved. In order to get rid of the hands in the picture, we have to play with the hands that come out. After that, we played their way through countless hands that stood in their way until there was only one left. Sarah reports that almost all photos have been cleaned out, meanwhile I say that I am worn out. A purple hand grabs Sarah's wrists. A mouth opens up on the hand telling Sarah to come to him with a resounding voice. The hand then slowly dragged her inside the mirror as she screamed for help. I attempted to reach her hands but it started to drag me too.

We were dragged to a dark foggy bathroom with hands in every corner. I notice the water and presume that it is a boundary. We are approached by a boy with an empty and expressionless face. The boy inspects us. We describe him to have silky smooth hair and long lashes, labeling him handsome like a prince. But our anticipation broke when he called us the chaotic people and questioned what food it took to grow it. He says he is let down that someone finally showed up, but it was just a bunch of crackheads. Sarah whines saying that he dragged us in here then says that out of the blue. The boy then leads us to a door, showing a room of many floors and full of mirrors. He tells us that this is a house of Wonder's boundary called Cursed Mirrors, but he doesn't know the details. We both describe the room full of mirrors and say that he has never heard of this. The boy introduces himself as Kaito, he says that he was just getting worried because he couldn't get out of there. We asked how he brought us here. Kaito answers, telling us that he asked for help from the hands to help him. I asked if they were his friends. Kaito bickers and explains that they are accessories for the Wonder and he doesn't own them. He asks if we could help him get out. We both agreed and we all walked to the hall and Sarah explained to him the boundaries.

Sarah tries to move Kaito over to the mirror. The mirror didn't seem to reflect anything. Kaito explains it's been that way since he got here. He speculates that maybe it's because he is a ghost, or maybe because he doesn't have any memories. I asked what he meant by it. Kaito reveals that he doesn't remember his life or how he died. Kaito asks us what they needed to do to get out of here. Sarah answers that they need to break the Wonder's Yorishiro. An image of a boy appears at one of the mirrors and he points out the direction of the Yorishiro which is located in the top ceiling of the boundary. To reach the stairs up to the Yorishiro, they need to pass through the mirror, but the mirror is only for orderly people, the mirror boy says. It seems that the Wonder would need to decide whether to let someone through in order to get to the Yorishiro. Suddenly, the room got darker, and a bell chime can be heard throughout the boundary. The mirror boy tells us that the world would be better off without someone who is annoying and that our life has no value, he transforms into a man, switching to a male voice in the process. The entity who is presumably to be the corporeal form of Wonder of Cursed Mirror asserts that he would take our place. He explains that their goal is to exchange places with the living. Kaito is merely a feeble spirit, and he is not worth replacing. He flicks his finger, causing anthropomorphic minions to come out of the mirror to try and steal both our souls, whichever of them steals it gets to take her place. Arms come out of the ground and grab us, restraining us from movement. A minion was moments away from climbing to the hand to take her soul before Kaito throws a small mirror frame to the minion causing it to fall. The minions then begin to target Kaito instead prompting him to run, but they end up restraining him to the ground. A minion swung a punch to Kaito. The arm around his tightens its grip, making him slightly lose consciousness. Kaito cries for help. A figure to what appears to look like a girl shatters the arm, freeing him from the grasp. She then breaks through the glass, grabbing Wonder's throat as Wonder asks why she is barging in his boundary before ruthlessly smashing his head against the mirror repeatedly. She tells Kaito he is hopeless and that he can't do anything on his own. Kaito starts crying as she pats his head. Sarah and I were shocked as she saw how Wonder was easily beaten by Mei, one of the girls in the photos. Mei walks over to Wonder's corpse and penetrates through her chest with bare hands, extracting his heart in the process. She reiterates to Kaito that if he wants to get stronger he needs to beat a strong apparition and eat it.

A grunting Kaito is heard as Mei has forced his mouth wide open in order to force-feed him with Wonder's heart. Kaito exclaims that he no longer has the desire to do this, and requests Mei to take it away. Mei continues anyway and steadily tries to move the heart onto his mouth, she is interrupted by Sarah and me, who grabs her arm and orders Mei to stop the procedure. Mei grabs both of our heads and seemingly attempts to collide it with the ground. Mei ceases the attempt and reaffirms that she is supposed to be gentler with the girls than the boys. Mei comes to a resolution and uses her ability to put us to sleep.

Mei asks Kaito if he'd rather have his new power taken away and vanish with it, or if he would rather take over the boundary and assume the role as a Wonder. Kaito comes to his decision, giving grounds that he doesn't want to disappear and become nothing, so in order to avoid this he will agree on becoming a Wonder. Mei affirms to this and agrees to grant his wish. She announces that from now on, Kaito will now be known as the new Wonder of Cursed Mirror. Kaito takes on a new form, now wearing a tattered black jacket embellished with eyes. Mei tells him that the boundary now belongs to him. In celebration, she comes to ask him what he wants to be as an apparition. Kaito answers, saying his wish is to be a normal human. He asks Mei if it could be possible. Mei affirms this. Suddenly, a resounding no comes from Aoi, the other girl from the photos. Aoi asserts that apparitions born in the land of the dead are forbidden from living as humans in their world. She demands Kaito to give back his position and urges him not to become the Wonder. Mei chuckles and tells Aoi that Kaito had certainly become very strong, suggesting that it would be enough to crush her like a bug. She adds that Aoi would be unable to defeat him under his own boundary. She looks back and notices Kaito attempting to flee away from the situation. She confronts Kaito who confesses that he wouldn't be able to beat a girl who's slinging a big knife around. In an effort to get him engaged, Mei smacks and forces him to yield. Kaito exclaims that the lives of three are in his hands due to them being in his boundary, and that he can do whatever he wants with them. Mei proceeds to drag Kaito away and pushes him to Aoi, he gets freaked out by her knife prompting his limbs to attack. Aoi began to fend themselves against the ravaging exoskeletons. Aoi suggests that in order to take back his position as a Wonder, they would have to break the Yorishiro, but since we both aren't awake yet she has to resort to getting him under control. Aoi grapples Kaito and once again demands him to let go of his position. In a fit of rage, Kaito's exoskeleton begins to extend across the room, colliding with the top surface. The collision knocked some debris that began to fall on us.

We both woke up, and Kaito seems to have protected us from the falling debris. I suggest that Kaito looks far different from before, in response to his new look. Kaito affirms this and adds that he is stronger now than before. He tells us that he's one of the Wonders now and he gets to run the boundary they are now in. He says that he hopes that we won't try to destroy it, as this would ultimately lead to his harm. He tells them to leave, and suddenly the mirrors shake as pink limbs begin to drag me and Sarah into the mirror leading to outside the boundary. Kaito expresses a call for silence as he tells us to stop struggling, he expresses his farewell to us, expressing that he would meet us again in the future. It is at night-time and we both are transported back to our grandma house where we lay in our room unconscious.

18th May 2021

Total Words: 2,210+

Inspired by Toilet Bound Hanako-kun

I write this story when I was 15 years old. My teacher gave us an assignment during school holiday. It was an individual task, each person given the same plot and the theme is Hari Raya/Eid. The best story gets duit raya(money) from her.

And guess what? I won in the first place! ^^