#hardison...i heard you sucked...guess i was RIGHT

[aaaaatillathenun]

watching leverage and i cant believe i forgot one of the best scenes of all time

[lets-go-steal-a-hardison]

Good Days and Bad Ones

New Leverage ot3 fic! Warning for gun violence and gun wounds. Fluff then angst then fluff again. ~2.9k words | Teen

Can read below or on my ao3 account here.

It had been a good day.  Eliot should have known not to trust that, but lately, he had been having a lot of good days.  The worst part was that what happened wasn’t even on a job.  They didn’t even see it coming.

Eliot had woken up surrounded by his partners.  The fact that he couldn’t move from being so entangled in their arms and legs should have felt suffocating, but instead, it just felt safe.  He started to move around, wanting to get up and go start his morning routine, and Hardison nuzzled into his neck.

“C’mon man, I gotta get up,” Eliot whispered to him.

Hardison grunted, still mostly asleep, then kissed where he had just nuzzled.  He did relax his arms though.

Okay.  One down.  One more to go.

Eliot turned to look at Parker and saw she was awake, already looking at him.

“I gotta get up, sweetheart, you gonna let me?” he said with a small smile.

Parker was wrapped around his arm with a leg thrown over him.  She pouted a bit, then kissed his shoulder before letting him go.

“Thanks, darlin’.  I’ll make pancakes later, kay?”  

Parker grinned at him.  “With whipped cream?”

“Only if I can add blueberries,” Eliot bargained as he got up and pulled on a shirt.  He had to get her to eat fruit somehow.

“Fiiiiiine,” Parker said, moving into the warmed spot Eliot had just vacated and wrapping around Hardison, who octopused onto her the moment she was in arm’s reach.

Eliot took a moment to stare at them.  Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe that they chose to love him.  Change with him.  It was humbling, their love for him.

He was one lucky bastard.

Eliot did his morning workout, then showered.  By the time that he was going into the bedroom to get clothes, towel around his waist, Parker was up.  She took off Hardison’s old shirt, which she had been using as a pajama shirt, and kissed Eliot one more time before taking the next shift in the shower.  Hardison was still passed out on the bed, but as Eliot walked in, he started to stir.

Letting the towel slip off, Eliot bent over to pull on underwear and heard an appreciative rumble from Hardison.  It took a while for him to be coherent in the morning, unless he had stayed up all night.  That caused a different kind of incoherence.  

Eliot grinned at him from over his shoulder as he continued to get dressed.  “You snooze, you lose,” he teased.  

Hardison let out a sleepy groan, then made grabby hands towards Eliot.

“Hell nah, I’ve got to get started on Parker’s pancakes,” Eliot said, already walking forward anyway.

“Mmmmm… pancakes,” Hardison hummed as he pulled Eliot in.  Eliot could feel his boyfriend’s smile against his lips.  He pulled back and kissed him once more, on the forehead this time, and moved away.

“They’ll be ready in a bit, you just gotta be up for them!” Eliot called as he walked out of the bedroom.

It was a good morning.

It didn’t last.

___________________________________

The first gunshot rang out at 1:12 pm.  Eliot knew because in the moment, everything froze and he took in everything in the kitchen of the brewpub, including the time.

The screams came next.

Eliot immediately put himself in between the doors to the kitchen and the waitstaff and cooks.  “Run.  If you can’t run, hide.  If you can’t hide, fight.  GO!” he said, jerking his head to the back entrance, hoping he wasn’t sending them into a trap.

“ALEC HARDISON!” a voice roared.  “COME OUT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.”

Eliot felt himself move before he had really thought about it.  He cut across the kitchen and made his way quickly but effectively towards the living part of the brewpub, where he had left Hardison and Parker at their dining room table.

Too late.

Hardison came out of the back room with his hands up and Eliot redirected his attention to the rest of the room, immediately assessing the three men with guns in the middle of the room.  The patrons of the brewpub were cowering in their seats and on the floor.  There was one man by the door too, covering the exit.

It didn’t look good.

“Sinclair,” Hardison drawled.  If Eliot didn’t know Hardison as well as he did, he wouldn’t be able to tell how tense he was.  He kept it hidden in the flex of his back muscles and his hands.

It was a very distinctive flex.

“Haven’t seen you in years.  How you been, man?” Hardison continued, arms still raised.

“Well, prison is a bitch and those anger management classes just didn’t take.  So, here we are,” the man in the front, Sinclair, said as he waved the hand not holding his gun to take in the scene.

“What do you want?” Hardison asked, his face and voice becoming serious.

“Need your help with a job.”

“And you thought coming in guns blazing into my day job was the best way to ask?” Hardison asked derisively.

Sinclair smiled grimly.  “This isn’t asking.  Either you will help me or I will shoot you where you stand.”

Hardison shrugged.  “I’ve got my own crew and while they don’t mind me working freelance, I think they would object to the job conditions.”

“You’re damn right,” Eliot growled, moving into the room.

“Oh hell no,” the guy who was guarding the door said.  “You didn’t say Eliot fucking Spencer was part of the target’s crew.  I’m out.”

He threw open the door and ran out the brewpub.

One down, three to go.

The other two men shifted nervously as Eliot stared them down, looking between them and the man Hardison had called Sinclair.  Eliot didn’t like how steady Sinclair’s aim was at Hardison.

“Fellas.  Now we can either have y’all walk out of here alive, or there’s gonna be a need for body bags.  Which is it gonna be?” Eliot said.

The two men glanced at each other.  One shook his head, but the other one started sliding towards the door.

“Don’t you dare, Clancy, don’t you dare!” Sinclair shouted.

“Man, I got a baby at home.  I just needed the payout, but she needs me more,” the man, Clancy, said.  He turned and was out the door.

Two on two.

Eliot liked those odds.

“You sure you won’t help?” Sinclair asked, and Eliot started edging towards Hardison, ready to move if he needed.  

Suddenly, Sinclair’s gun was pointed at Eliot.

“Not even if I threaten to shoot your buddy here?”

“Whoa.  Now, hey man, you didn’t have to go there.  We had our moment, I said no, and you just had to keep pressing.  They always keep pressing, don’t they, Eliot?”

“Hardison…” Eliot cautioned, cause he knew what Hardison was doing.  He was trying to get himself back in Sinclair’s crosshairs, even though Eliot was much more comfortable being the one with the gun pointed at him.

“Nah, man, I know you’re doing your macho shit right now, and I for one do not appreciate it.  You are trying to kill him just with your glarey eyes and guess what, man?  Doesn’t work.  I know, cause otherwise I would be at least slightly damaged by now.”

“Oh my God, shut UP!” Sinclair said.

He turned.

Eliot jumped.

And Hardison gasped as the bullet hit his shoulder.

Sinclair watched as Hardison stared disbelievingly down at the bloom of blood on his shoulder.  He took a gasping breath of air, then his knees went out.

Eliot caught him before he could hit the ground.

“Put pressure on it, Alec.  Come on, you know the deal,” Eliot encouraged, pressing down himself.  He could sense Sinclair in his peripheral vision, but Hardison was his priority.

“It’s d-d-different wh-when it’s you,” Hardison stuttered.

He was going into shock.  Eliot needed to finish this so that they could get Chicken Parm down here, get him to help Hardison.

Eliot forced himself to take his attention off of Hardison and place it firmly on Sinclair.

He looked disconcerted at the look on Eliot’s face.

Good.

“You lost your chance to walk away when you pulled that trigger,” he said to Sinclair.  He turned to the last man standing, who flinched when their eyes met.  “Last chance for you.”

The man nodded.  Dropped his gun.  Walked out.

“You fucker!” Sinclair said, sighting his gun on Eliot.

Only for Parker to drop down from the ceiling, right on top of him.

The gun still went off, but Eliot was unscathed.  He rushed forward, diving on top of Sinclair who fought tooth and nail to keep his gun in his hands.  Eliot saw Parker crawl across the floor towards the gun the last man had dropped out of the corner of his eyes.

In the moment of distraction, Sinclair’s finger found the trigger and pulled.

Eliot felt the bright burn of the bullet going into his hip, but he just grunted and pulled back a fist, bringing it crashing down onto Sinclair’s temple.

He went limp.

Eliot forced himself to stand.  He turned and Parker nodded to him from where she was standing, gun pointed at Sinclair. 

“I’ve got him, you get Alec,” she said.

Eliot nodded.  He pulled out his phone as he went over to Hardison and put pressure on his wound, making Alec whine, high and full of pain.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, gotta keep pressure on it.  Help’s coming, Alec, just hang on, kay?” he murmured as the phone rang.

“P-parker okay?” Hardison whispered.

“Yeah, she’s-” Eliot glanced over to Parker and froze.  “Parker.”

She looked at him from keeping an eye on Sinclair.  “What?”

“Your leg.”

She followed Eliot's gaze and looked down to her thigh.  The right leg of her sweatpants - actually Eliot was pretty sure those had been his as some point - was soaked with blood.

She looked back at Eliot.  “Huh.”

Then she collapsed.

“SHIT!” Eliot shouted.

“Hello?”

Eliot remembered the phone in his hand.  His head was swimming and he blinked repeatedly to clear it.  “Parm, altercation at the brewpub.  Three GSW’s, Hardison n’ Parker are down.  You need to- to… aw, hell,” he slurred.

Then he fell forward onto Hardison’s chest and the world went black.

_________________________________

Dragging himself out of inky black unconsciousness was one of Eliot’s least favorite things in the world.  It didn’t happen often, but when it did, it sucked.

He was definitely on drugs, cause his brain took way too long to connect to his body.  He was floating a bit even when he realized who he was and started registering his body and surroundings.

He was definitely in a hospital.  The smell, the sounds of the intercom, and the feeling of an IV in his hand were too distinct for him to be anywhere else.

Eliot wasn’t as bad as Nate, but he still wasn’t a fan of hospitals.  The catheter alone was enough to make him wanna punch someone.

Forcing his eyes open, he looked around the room.  There was an empty bed next to him and no one else in the room.  He wanted to jump up and find Hardison and Parker, find out if they were alright, but the ache in his hip made him grimace as he sat up.

He settled for hitting the call button.

“Hello, Mr. Dubois, how are you feeling?” the nurse who came in asked.

“Sore and floaty.  Can we reduce the meds?  I hate this feeling.  Rather have the pain,” Eliot said.

The woman pursed her lips.  “We can, though I will ask you to start taking tylenol in its place, so you still have something in your system.”

Eliot nodded.  “The others at the brewery,” he started, not sure what cover he should be working with, how he should be referring to his partners, “are they alright?”

“The gunman has been taken into custody after getting treatment for his concussion.  The man and woman who were also injured are stable.  I’m sorry, that’s all I can say,” she said, working with the machine next to Eliot. 

He hoped that the floating feeling would leave soon.  He needed to come back to his body, pain or no pain.

“Alright, call if you need to get back on the morphine or if you need assistance with anything else.”

“When can I get up?” Eliot asked.

“We can do a walk around this evening, but we’re leery of moving before in case the stitches are disturbed.  We can take out the catheter at that time as well, as you will be able to get up for bathroom needs at that point.  Sounds okay?”

It didn’t, but Eliot forced himself to nod again.

The nurse had been out of the room for about a minute when Eliot heard something overhead.  He grinned at the ceiling, then frowned.

“Parker, should you be up yet?” he asked.

“The doc said that I could get up to see to my needs, and I needed to check on you,” she said through the vent.

“They meant the bathroom, Parker, not my sorry ass,” Eliot said.

“Yeah, yeah.  How you feeling?” she asked.

“They reduced my meds, but still disconnected a bit.”  He knew she would get what he meant, so he didn’t elaborate.  “Alec okay?”

“Yeah.  He was still sleeping, but his vitals looked good.  He lost the most blood of us, so he’ll probably be in here the longest,” Parker said.

“He’ll love that,” Eliot grumbled, already imagining the havoc that Hardison could produce if left in a hospital bed for any extended period of time.

Of course, he would have to be awake to cause havoc…

Eliot shrugged away the thought, reminded himself that Parker said he was doing well.

“How long you gonna be here?” Eliot asked.

He heard a rustle and imagined that Parker had shrugged.  “Bullet went through and through, just bled a lot.  Once they are sure that it’s closed and healing, I’ll be good to go.  They had to dig the bullet out of your hip,” she said, her voice getting quieter.  “So it might be longer for you.”

“I figured that, darlin’.  It’ll be alright.”  He glared at the grate without any real heat.  “Now get back to your bed and to healing.”

“I’d rather be here with you,” she said, her voice soft.

“That ain’t fair,” Eliot said, staring at the grate.  He felt the ache in his hip and now he had one in his heart.  “You gotta go back, Parker, cause if you’re here, you aren’t getting your meds.  I’m being good and taking mine, you gotta too.”

“Fiiiiine,” Parker said.  “I’ll be back though.”

“I would be worried if you didn’t,” Eliot said.

He didn’t hear her go, but felt when she was gone.

It was going to be a long stay in the hospital.

___________________________________

Hardison had woken up later that evening and Eliot had been able to see him when he was doing his walk around.  Alec was still pretty out of it, but he smiled up at Eliot.

“Knew you would take care of it,” he said, only slurring a bit.

“Get some sleep,” Eliot said, resisting the urge to touch him.  Their cover stories weren’t partners.  

Parker got out of the hospital first.  Eliot missed her voice coming out of the ceiling, but was checked out the next day anyways.  

The brewpub wasn’t the same without Alec around.  Eliot ended up stocking a bunch of the meals that Alec liked in the fridge for when he came home and Parker installed a new security system.  They cleaned the whole back area of the pub they called their home, working in tandem as they washed sheets and clothes, scrubbed down the kitchen and bathroom, and tidied the rest of it.  They didn’t sleep much.

By the time Alec got home, the place was spotless and stocked with orange soda and Eliot’s food.

Hardison eased onto the couch and looked around.  He turned to his partners and grinned.  “You missed me.”

Parker rolled her eyes.  “Course we did, dummy.”

Eliot inclined his head, conceding.  “Maybe.”

“You hungry?” Eliot continued.

“Eliot made all your favorites,” Parker said.  Eliot narrowed his eyes at her, cause he wanted that to be a surprise.

“Did he?” Hardison said, smile turning toward Eliot.  “You know I’d never say no to Eliot’s cooking.  Mind bringing it here?  Have y’all eaten?  Let’s just all eat here, pull up some movie.”

Eliot nodded.  Parker jumped up from where she had been sitting next to Alec, kissing him on the top of his head before she followed Eliot into the kitchen.

They settled in, food and movie at the ready.  They finished eating long before the end of the movie, but their plates lay forgotten on the coffee table as they cuddled as close as their wounds would allow them to.  

Eliot felt sleep come slowly towards him, but didn’t do anything to fight it.  He trusted Parker, and by extension, her security system.  He knew that both Parker and Hardison were safe and healing.  More bad days may come, but they would face them together.

In the arms of his two best friends and loves of his life, he let himself rest.

[wordsaresimple-imnot]

New Hope - Eliot x Reader drabble/one-shot

A/N: Okay, so I’m re-watching Leverage and I just wrapped season 2 where Nate is arrested and the angsty idea of his daughter being part of the team and losing him came to me so I started writing that and then the rest just sorta happened. Basically a drabble that turned into an unplanned one-shot I’m not entirely sure I like. I feel like I should give it additional parts but y’all can decide that. I also have another Eliot angst/fluff I’m almost done with and about 2-3 one-shots/multi fic ideas for Eliot I’m trying to organize.

Details: You are Nate’s daughter (either by Maggie or maybe gf/hs sweetheart before Maggie) that’s part of the team and already established gf/love of Eliot. Nate is arrested and it spirals you down, until you find something out and your life changes. Kinda sucks, please be kinda, haha. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the span of maybe two minutes, everything came to a screeching halt. Well, not quite a halt. More like trying to watching a video that was trying to load and play at the same time. Every part of your body felt heavy, heavier than you ever remember feeling. You try to focus on the situation at hand but things register too late.

Sterling, standing with cops, surrounding you and the team. Guns pointed at you. Trapped. Your dad speaking, walking to the rail. He cuffs himself to the rail. Why? What’s happening? Him and Sterling talking. What’s happening? 

“Dad? What are you doing?” You take a half step towards him, when Eliot grabs your hand to hold you back. The guns shift in your direction. 

Your dad tells the team how you’re his family and he will never forget that. None of this is computing. He’s yelling for you all to get on the helicopter. You feel Eliot tug at your arm to get you to move. It snaps you out of your haze and everything is in crystal clear focus. You pull away from Eliot and rush to your father. 

“No. No! You aren’t doing this. There’s another way.” You frantically start tugging at the handcuffs, believing if you pull it hard enough it’ll break apart and free him. You hear your teammates call your name, but ignore them still rambling. “This isn’t happening. We lost Sam. I lost Sam. I can’t lose you too. You can’t leave me. Dad, no!” 

He shifts his cuffed hand to gently and firmly grab yours, saying your name. You freeze and look up into his eyes. “Do you remember what I use to tell you when you were little?” 

“That I was your first true love, and true love is about protecting each other.” You whisper, your voice shaking. He gave you a gentle smile, his eyes softening. 

“That’s right. I couldn’t save Sam, and I’ll live with that guilt forever. But if I don’t do this to protect you, and them, I couldn’t live with myself. I love you, so much.” He leaned forward and gave your forehead a kiss. As he pulls back, he nods to Eliot to grab you. 

“Daddy.” You try to keep hold of his hand, but Eliot pries you apart and keeps a firm hold on your arms, following the rest of the team to the helicopter. Your eyes lock with Sterling as you move past him. The look you give him makes him take a side step back. You hear Eliot telling him to watch his back; Eliot will be the least of his problems. 

Then, it was like the video fully loaded and everything sped up at once. You barely remembered the flight, or the following weeks after your fathers arrest. It was a blur spent in bed, crying off and on with random bouts of anger. Sophie and Eliot spent the most time with you, trying to make you eat and stay somewhat in a routine of at least wondering around Eliot’s apartment. About a month after his arrest you tried to ease back into being with the team and wanted to help in planning his escape. Then you got sick. 

You were sitting in the bathroom in your dad’s flat, loving the cool side of the tub against your neck as you focused on breathing. A soft knock made you open your eyes a crack, seeing Eliot quietly step inside and close the door again. He grabbed a washcloth, got it damp, and sat down in front of you while holding it to your forehead. 

“How you feeling?” Every part of him showed concern. 

“Like death.” You gave a dry chuckle. “Why aren’t you sick? We’ve been eating  the same things for months.”

“Minus your comfort food,” Eliot joked. 

You rolled your eyes, “I haven’t had that in...” You trailed off trying to remember the last time you had any comfort food aka period cravings. When you realized you couldn’t give a confident answer on the last time that happened, you said the only thought you had. “Uh, oh.”

Eliot tensed, “Uh, oh? What ‘uh, oh’?” His eyes follow your hands as they settle on your stomach, his own arm dropping from your forehead. “Uh, oh.” 

One not-so-secret trip to the corner drug store (courtesy of Parker eves dropping and blabbing to everyone else in the apartment) and twenty minutes of drinking water and waiting to pee later had everyone sitting in the living room looking at the timer on your phone. Well, Eliot was pacing but everyone else was sitting. 

“Man, if this is positive Nate is gonna break out just to kill you. We might not have to do anything.” Hardison tried to joke, looking at Eliot who was far from amused. 

“Hardison I’m gonna jump over this couch and -” Eliot started before Sophie jumped in. 

“Can everyone just stop for a minute? We need to be supportive right now.” She gave them a pointed look and went back to rubbing soothing circles on your back. 

The timer went off and you couldn’t shut it off fast enough. Beyond that quick movement, you found yourself stuck to your seat. You turned and looked at Eliot, standing at your side, neither of you seemed able to move. Then you hear a huff and a flash of blonde as Parker sprints to the bathroom and comes back just as fast holding the stick. Her face is unreadable. 

“Well?” Sophie asks. 

“Negative.” Parker looks between you and Eliot. 

“Oh.” You feel your shoulders drop, processing the news. 

“That’s good, though, right? That’s what you wanted?” Hardison asked. 

“I mean, yeah. That’s the smart outcome. It’s just...” You felt tears prick at your eyes and turn towards Eliot. He sits on the arm rest and hugs you to his side. “I guess I had just assumed it was gonna be yes so I started thinking of all the memories we’d make and our life...” 

“Me too.” Eliot confessed, kissing the top of your head. 

“Well, good news then. It’s positive.” Parker’s face broke into a smile. You and Eliot’s heads snapped over to her. “I lied before. Just wanted to be sure you knew your real emotions on it.” 

You jump up and rush to grab the test from her hands. She’s still smiling like she somehow won the jackpot. “You are the craziest person I’ve ever met.” You mumble to her, but she didn’t seem remotely fazed. There it was, big and pink and plus. You look back up at Eliot and nod in confirmation. “It’s positive.”

He walked over and took the test from your hand, staring at the symbol as you had done. Then his arms wrap around you and hold you close, being as gentle as possible so you don’t get sick again. Your arms wrap around him and you start to cry and laugh at the same time. Eliot pulls back enough to see your face. 

“Those happy tears?” He looked slightly worried. When all you could do was nod and smile at him, he smiled back. Eliot put one hand on your check and moved the other to rest on your stomach, leaning down he gave you a passionate and loved filled kiss. The euphoric moment ended once you heard Parker speak yet again. 

“So what’s Nate gonna be more pissed about: Eliot getting his daughter pregnant or not knowing Sophie’s real name?” 

“Those are problems for another day. Right now, we are going to celebrate the newest member of our family!” Sophie came forward and gave you both hugs, followed by Hardison and a typical semi awkward Parker hug. 

You looked at your team, laughing and smiling. They would be there for you and Eliot and your growing baby, and that made you feel a happiness you’d been missing for the past month. Your dad was right - they are family. And you saw hope and a future for your family. You’d get your dad out and once everyone was together again, no one would be able to break them apart again. 

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Two Live Crew Job

leverage 2.07

Sophie: I love the symbolists.

- - - - -

🥰 I love when the ot3 are together in one frame 🥰

- - - - -

the dogs playing poker painting tho

- - - - -

Eliot: Any sudden movement's gonna cause displacement of the water. It'll set it off.

Parker: Is that C-4?

Sophie: Oh!

(Nate grabs Parker’s hand before she can touch the vase)

Sophie: Parker... please don't poke at the motion-sensitive bomb.

Nate: So, uh... secret admirer?

Sophie: Well, it's no secret they want me dead.

Hardison: What do you think, man?

Eliot: I'd have to reach into the vase to disarm it. It'd go off.

eliot’s lips quivered when he said that bc he’s so nervous for her im-

- - - - -

Parker: Do you have any instant pudding?

(everyone looks at Parker in surprise. Cut to Parker pouring pudding into the vase)

Parker: The powder hardens the liquid, tricks the bomb into thinking it's not moving.

Eliot: Should give you a little wiggle room. Very little

MASTERMIND PARKER

- - - - -

(mourners are gathered around a casket with a line of black cars parked nearby. An open casket shows Sophie lying inside. Eliot is standing at a podium)

Eliot: She had a way of taking care of people, you know? She was a sister... she was best friend, all rolled into one. I'm gonna miss you, Soph-- So-O-O-O-O much, Katherine.

(Eliot leaves the podium. Hardison stands to let Parker walk by and she approaches the podium. Nate stands at the back of the crowd, Eliot joins him)

Parker: Katherine and I have known each other forever. Almost two years. Yeah, I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot to you, but it is to me. I never really had many friends. Which is why losing her is so hard. (sighs) It's so creepy. I mean, she's really dead. I was just talking to her and now she's just laying there. She was just laying there.

(Nate coughs and Hardison gets up to go to Parker)

Parker: Can you hear me?

Hardison: Parker. I'm -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, y'all. What – What she really means is just, um, Katherine was like family. And sometimes, friends are all the family that you have. So... you -- you good? Come on. Just – let -- just keep going. You got all hysterical and emotional

- - - - -

btw there is at least one door from behind the briefing monitors which means they have at least one extra room (most likely more) from the adjacent apartment eliot knocked the wall down from

they have guest rooms or something back there for if anyone needs a place to crash

- - - - -

Sophie: We used to work together. We did the Copenhagen job in '97, the Berlin Polytech job in '98, and, Nate, remember – Remember that great run in Moscow?

Nate: "That great run"? I chased you for three months.

Sophie: Well, uh, technically, y-you chased us. Sorry.

Hardison: Are you saying that you saw other teams before us?

Parker: Really just another Nate before Nate.

Eliot: Let me ask you a question -- what bugs you more, is it the fact that he was with Sophie first or that he outsmarted you?

Nate: Moving on

eliot puts his arms over the couch and behind parker and I’ll take it + them grinning at each other seeing nate’s discomfort

- - - - -

mikel is wearing flannel in this one and you can now take bisexual mikel from my cold, dead hands

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrong place, wrong time. Starke must have seen me, and now that I’m one of the good guys, decided to get rid of me, because...why? Because... Because I know his scams. Because... I know his favorite scam.

[Warehouse]

(Stark’s team is sitting on crates looking at monitors as he goes over the job)

Starke: Cafe and a moonlit terrace.

Sophie (voice over): The Mona Lisa variant.

[Briefing Area]

Parker: Oo! (claps) That was the first one I learned!

- - - - -

(Hardison is drinking orange soda and working on a computer as Sophie watches)

Sophie: I'm not dead. I'm right here, Parker. So, this is, um, it's what you do, right? You take footage of us on cons and you -- you -- you -- download it into that?

Hardison: Yeah, I analyze it, I monitor comms, I scan for a police frequencies, I -- You had no idea I do all this, did you? Well – d-does nobody respect the van? The van is important. What -- What is that?

Sophie: It's lemon-Zest tea. I got to tell you, it's -- It's a little bit -- It's a little bit whiffy in here.

Hardison: It smells like hard work. That's what it smells like. D-- Whiffy

sophie has no idea what hardison does and does not like the van smell. hardison is ready to go off

- - - - -

Sophie: That was some nice things you said at my funeral.

Hardison: Wait. We -- We trust Nate to make sure the plan works. We trust you to make sure we’re all okay.

- - - - -

Starke: Word is on the street that you run the nastiest crew this side of the Atlantic.

Nate: Well… what?

Starke: Come on. Everybody knows. You robbed a bank and you -- you framed a judge. You rigged a jury to steal a million-Dollar settlement. I hear that you even conned the Irish mob out of a couple of million dollars just this year. Now, that's style.

Nate: That's one way of looking at it.

Sophie: Listen, Nate, if you tell him the truth about us, we're blown

- - - - -

Hardison: I know this style. This is Chaos.

(computer screen flashes signal found. Hardison grabs his keyboard and heads for the back door of the van)

[Parking Lot]

(Hardison exits his van and a little ways down the parking lot, Chaos exits his van with a laptop in his hands. They square off like an old west gun fight)

Hardison: Chaos. I heard you were in jail. Guess I was wrong.

Chaos: Hardison. I heard you sucked. Guess I was right.

(they eye each other across the lot, their fingers twitching. Abruptly they raise their keyboard and laptop and begin typing while car alarms start going off)

this wild wild west showdown tho

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, now, we know Starke. This guy goes by the name Apollo. I've chased him a couple of times -- infiltration, physical security.

Parker: People in that line of high-risk work tend to be very unstable. We could use that. Write that down.

(the rest of the team exchange glances)

🥰 she’s sitting next to eliot with popcorn between them 🥰

- - - - -

Hardison: Now, this person here's ex-Mossad, sealed records. Mikel Dayan used to work both sides as a mercenary.

Eliot: Mikel Dayan. I know that name.

Hardison: You were scared to fight a girl.

Eliot: She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison.

Hardison: I don't care.

Eliot: Seriously. She actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. (starts gesturing time parker) She broke the mop and took --

Hardison: Eliot. Eliot. (turns back to monitors) Now, this here's Colin Mason, otherwise known by his hacker handle as "Chaos." As... whatever. Hacked the pentagon, the NSA. The CIA computer guys call him the Kobayashi Maru.

Eliot: What the hell is that?

Hardison: None of y'all got that? Seriously?

Parker: Star Trek.

Hardison: Thank you

parker’s reluctant fistbumb I love them + it’s officially canon that she’s seen at least some of the movies

- - - - -

Nate: I tried to say to her I’m sorry, you know, and I don't –

Security: Because, as men, we're taught to hide our emotions. You share or you pay the price.

Nate: Yeah

- - - - -

Mikel: You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?

(Eliot walks forward, taking off his jacket and hanging it on some pipe)

Eliot (in Hebrew): Not unless she hits me first.

(they approach each other and begin to fight, blocking each other until Mikel hits Eliot in the chest, knocking him back. He touches where her blow hit.)

Eliot (in Hebrew): That counts

let me just say I LOVE that they had a woman hitter

- - - - -

Starke: What is going on, guys?

Guard: Motion sensors went off, sir.

Starke: I already checked that out. Everything's secure. And who's this?

Guard: Uh... he just got lost. No problem.

Starke: Sir, you okay?

Nate: Yeah, I’m fine.

Starke: I'm Nathan Ford. I'm with the insurance company.

(Nate gives Starke an irritated look)

- - - - -

Parker: What kind of bird did you use?

Apollo: North American Kestrel. It's small-Bodied, but its wingspan is expansive enough that it sets off the motion detectors.

Parker: I would've gone with the Scarlet Tanager. Similar wingspan, but the brighter colors are more distracting.

Apollo: Yeah. That was my second choice.

(Apollo scrambles forward in the ductwork. Parker also scrambles forward, headed another way)

- - - - -

eliot taking off his shirt too? equal rights

- - - - -

Starke: Now, why would you want to kill Sophie?

Chaos: Come on, Starke. (gathering equipment) I had set up the perfect double-cross, and then you want to go and bring in a new player at the last minute? "Oh, and by the way, guys, that new player is gonna be Sophie Devereaux." There's no way I’m gonna try to out-con Sophie Devereaux! And I hate to break it to you, Starke, but she was the one that everybody was always scared of. It was never you.

- - - - -

[McRory’s Bar]

(Parker and Apollo sit at a table with locks)

Parker: Go.

(they begin picking locks to see who is fastest. Across the room, Eliot and Mikel sit at a table)

Mikel: I can top that. (pulls her shirt aside to show a scar on her shoulder) Frag grenade, Somalia.

Eliot (pulls up his sleeve to show scar on his arm): Myanmar. Sniper.

Mikel: I was a sniper in Myanmar for a while.

Eliot: When?

Mikel: 2003.

(Eliot looks surprised. Mikel holds up the handcuffs and Eliot quickly pulls her hand down)

Eliot: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have that.

Hardison (walking by): Handcuffs. Y'all nasty

(eliot has a handcuff kink and was probably pegged within an inch of his life that night. I said what I said.)

- - - - -

(Sophie stands looking down at her grave. The headstone for Katherine has been replaced with one for Sophie Devereaux. Nate approaches and stands next to the grave)

Sophie: Starke was right. I'm not Sophie Devereaux anymore. I haven't been for ages. I... you killed her, you and your silly crusade.

Nate: It's just a name.

Sophie: No, they're not just names, not to me. All my aliases, every one of them, I -- I know when their parents died. I know when they had their first kiss.

[cheshasleverage]

The Homecoming Job Rewatch

Here we go, another one! I want y’all to know I’ve given up on any chance of making these short so strap in

“he's cheating on you.... with a camel!” “ok it was one time”

jenny can suck my dick

I like how the first season almost always has the client say something along the lines of “I don't want the money I went them to pay for what they did” or “I want them to face consequences” 

“Doc he’s cool I found him on the internet” so by now they've set up some kind of way to be found but who the hell is gonna trust that? What kind of information did Hardison/Nate put up to not only make them sound appealing but also trustworthy to people who had literally just lost everything

This nurse is so sweet and I love her. She’s obviously dealt with scammers before, and she really cares about all the vets in her hospital

Oh and her line about people not showing up to help? I feel like Nate might at one point have had that idea, but after realizing he could be the one that helps, he’s out to prove to people like her that they can trust some people

OK so yeah, Hardison and Nate have been in contact after their first con. The team must’ve split to keep a low profile, but were waiting for Nate to give that signal. BUT, I want to know how many times Hardison called Nate talking about potential clients or a new base or their website because Nate became a stable source for Hardison and Nate manages to keep him from getting distracted, gets him to focus

Sophie has absolutely no acting shame and goes ALL OUT when she thinks about a character's motivation and story. Obviously, in cons she’s able to do this more eloquently and makes it fit the situation better so I wonder what exactly causes that shift in her. Is it because at the end of the con is a goal that she’s really determined on scoring? are acting jobs just not high enough stakes for her?

Eliot’s actual style is finally here, but did he really just pull a yo mama joke and then throat punch that dude? harsh

PARKER STEALING A PAINTING WITHIN THE 3 SECONDS A GUARD TURNS AROUND AND THEN ANSWERING THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEIST

alright so even if Hardison and Nate were talking, they never told the others what was happening so I’m 95% sure Nate might've mentioned a business to Hardison and then let Hardison go crazy with it (while stepping into reign him in)

Either Hardison found enough time to stare at Nate until he finished a painting or he found pictures of Nate to create that beautiful painting

 If Sophie bought three houses and Hardison bought all that illegal software then it’s safe to say that the hospital Nate donated to got a lot of money for their equipment (That must’ve been sam’s hospital right? that’s what's being implied)

There it is... the very first “it’s very distinctive” line

I love the way the crew will say something about the job being too dangerous or hard to pull off and all Nate has to say is something briefly, vaguely almost, that makes them realize it won’t be that hard and then they all suddenly hop on board and start talking about strategies etc.

“I remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits”

Anyone else notices that for the first few cons Parker wears that hair cap but eventually, she gives up on it and just leaves her hair down?

Ngl the first time I heard DuFert talk about buying congressmen, I had the same reaction as Hardison and Sophie. Then I also had a short crisis when I realized that’s essentially how the gov is run now :) 

DuFart is yelling at Eliot for being a stupid fuck but I have no idea how the fuck Eliot managed to pull off a name like that. I guess it also kind of hints at his expertise with food

Another thing I find great, and so satisfying is when Nate (or any of the team really) piece together what’s happening 

Mr. Perry flirting with Sophie despite being in a dangerous situation is a mood

Again, Eliot’s ability to spot the military and their distinctive looks. Kind of makes me wonder just how far Eliot got in the military. Obviously, a lot of his info he picked up as a retrieval specialist but he must've spent a good number of years in the military and with his skills, I think Eliot might’ve gotten pretty well known

After getting through 5 seasons I kind of forgot that everyone except Eliot had never hurt or killed people when they were on their own

Love when Hardison and Eliot have these little moments where they’re joking around a smiling

Also when Hardison tries to add some of his classic flair and Eliot has to shush him

It’s clearer after seeing Nate and Hardison share a beer and popcorn while watching Parker that they clearly seem to have bonded first and that Hardison is kind of like Nate’s right-hand man, at least in these early episodes

“Might want to ease up on that” Nate casually reminding Hardison that Parker is not like most other women and that he probably shouldn’t make comments like that about her, especially not when it’s only their second time working together

Eliot says he hates baseball but he manages to not only hit a camera from several yards away with a rock, but he manages to throw it hard enough that it shatters and if that’s not the arm of a baseball player idk what is

I missed the comment Eliot makes about Parker and Hardison having a creepy contest when I first watched this episode

Again, Nate brings up giving away money because now technically they’re the good guys and that’s something the crew will have to adjust to. Now they’re not just taking down bad guys and stealing money to steal money, now they’re doing it for someone and they’re giving that money to the people who really need it

Fucking Sophie and Nate acting like a crazy married couple who have no idea where they are or what's going on give me LIFE. Also, Nate just fucking calling this bigass dude with a gun a jackass 

Hardison makes me laugh at least once an episode, but watching him power walk away from Parker, whos putting a bomb on a crate, is a big fucking mood and I love him

“This is ‘cus I'm Jewish?” His nametag just says, White. Hardison put on a nametag that says White

Real slick of Nate to pull the walk away card when everyone's standing around enjoying how gratifying it feels to help someone who needs it (even though that was definitely his plan all along)

Of course, he bought himself a tesla. With as much money as they accumulate there’s enough to help someone but still take care of themselves, and I guarantee Nate brought his car to show it off and to show the crew that they can still spoil themselves. (plus this feels like another hint toward him being surprisingly good behind the wheel)