unluckypotatochip-blog

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It's already late at night but I'm sitting here in my bed. I don't know, I can't sleep. As I lean my head on the wall, I asked myself. "Am I alright?" "Am I good?" "Why am I sad?" "why do I feel agry for no reason." I feel unwanted, unloved, I feel worthless. I'm tired, tired of everything. I really want to bring back the old me. The happy go lucky girl, Jolly, got no problem. How can I bring back those precious moments where everything is okay.

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

It's been a while since I wrote my last blog. I was busy socializing in the world of Roleplayers (RP). I dunno, I want to get out or I should say, I want to experience the world whete no one knows the real you. Roleplayer's world, such a beautiful but not so perfect world but better than the real one. In this world, It's like yo have another personality that you're acting. No pain, no problem, just happy unlike in our real world that's full of crisis that is going on.

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

Do you know what hurts the most? It is when no matter how fast you run, you cannot run from the pain. No matter how good at you on pretending, you cannot deny the fact that you're hurting. You can fool others but you cannot fool yourself. 😢

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

"I'm not who you think I am; I'm not who I think I am. I am who I think you think I am. "

-Thomas Cooley

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

Receiving cold replies from my favorite person hurts like h*ll.💔

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“Introverts desire temporary seclusion, not loneliness.”

— j. grey 

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I used to love you

Then I used to love and hate you

Now I just hate you

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You call me with the same names you used to call her with. And it kills me. One name at a time

.

Nights unloved

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“To heal a wound you need to stop touching it.”

—

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"Don't forget your past, because your past formed what you are today. "

-RM

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

I need a break, sorry. I'm sorry if I'm not texting you, for not replying. This day will only be for me. I'll let myself stop socializing this day. I'll stop chatting everyone and see if someone cared. I don't know, I just want to think clearly. I want to knkw why all of the sudden I'm sad. Sad, for unknown reason. I just want to be happy, be normal like others.

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While sitting still here in my comfy couch I started asking myself. Asking evething that's happening in my life. Do I deserve all of this? This pain? This? Am I really a disappointment for everyone? Am I no one? Worthless? Easy to leave or hurt? Am I really that stupid? Sensitive? Those are few questions that even me, can't answer. Maybe I'm just a victim of the world, that's full of judgemental and insensitive creatures who's worse than animals.

As I lay dow to my bed and start playing the game that I love my sister shouted "Hey! Shut up! " hell? Did I touch her? I didn't even say a word to her. She really hates me. I don't know why. Is it because of my existence? Is it because I'm here with here? Is it because I've done something wrong that I don't know? Or maybe she's not so lucky to have a perfect sister.

It hurts a lot. Such an unlucky potato chip.

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

(poem)

Sitting still while looking at the sky

Slightly smiled 'cause you're on my mind

Can't see anything, but I am not blind

Why is it so dark? I wonder why?

I just want to scream, I just want to cry

A sudden flash of light from behind

Stars appeared forming a phrase "Be kind"

Please be real, it can't be a lie

Maybe, I belong to the stars that shine

Gives light to those who is in the dark

Not the only one, but I confidently say I'm right

I stood up as I follow the line

Went home, surprised by the dog's bark

I closed my eyes and said " good night"

[unluckypotatochip-blog]

I am not a good writer

I'm not a good writer I can't write that. I don't know how to use the English language that well. I don't know the rules of writing. I am not a good writer, I can't write that. I don't know how to describe things on my own, I can't express myself. I don't know the basic concepts of writing. I am not a good writer, I cant write that.

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"Cherish everything you have today before it turns into what you had."

-RM

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Our society/world today is getting worse,right? Endless suicide cases,depression. They said "You cannot be depressed unless a doctor states you that you are depressed." I know that this is a common and a serious mental illnes but do you really need to consult a doctor before you can say that you're depressed? Come on people in the universe who are judmentals. In some other cases maybe, but if you do know what depressed person is you might know when you're depressed or not. Unless you're just making things up to make a scene.

Well, no more nonsense. Maybe I should start everything before the dragon came over and set me on fire.