#happy dang birthday Josh

[teeentyonepilots]

[velvetcake96]

They can never do anything normally and I don’t know if that hypes me up or makes me want to pull my hair out. When will we learn?

[queenofbaws]

Hi! I hope you had a great holiday! Can I maybe get a Chrashley and Jossam gift exchange please? Thank you, you’re wonderful

“Oh man, you guys didn’t have to...uh oh...” as she turned the package over in her hands, Sam realized the one Josh was holding wasn’t just wrapped in the same silvery paper with the wildly inappropriate message ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS’ written in blue and white (Chris’s doing, no doubt), but it was also...identical to the one she was holding, in terms of length, width, and yes, even depth. “...what on earth could you have gotten both of us...” she said, her words coming out as a flat, anxious statement instead of the question they maybe should’ve been.

“Open them and fiiiiiind out!” Ashley said in a singsong, leaning forward towards Sam and adding, “I’m sorry about the wrapping paper,” once Josh had begun tearing into his like the six-year-old he was at heart.

“Oh hot dang, a Switch game? Isn’t this is a little rich for your blood - you guys are usually the ‘here-I-made-you-this’ sort,” Josh snickered, popping the game case open to check out the cartridge inside.

“Splatoon 2,” Chris nodded sagely; then, taking one of Sam’s hands in his and patting it gently, he promised them both, “You guys get one week to practice, then we’re going to beat you two into the ground, pulverize your ashes, and plant a garden over the scene of the crime to commemorate the event.”

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[lyouna]

Tyler and his love for his fans

On the Thank You Note of Trench album, he said ” To our fans, thank you for letting me disappear and come back when I need to. You guys mean so much to me on a level that is difficult to explain.”

Tyler is surely one of the most talented and nice people I’ve known. He always seems to care about each one of us and make sure we all doing great.

On May 2013 he posted a picture of him held by tens of fans on Instagram with this description “|My-clique/> yours”

In February 2014 he thanks his clique if feel local everywhere “Feeling like a løcal band in Europe. Favorite kind of shows. Still missing home. UK up next. Stay løcal.”

In April he posted a picture of him kneeling in front of little a girl and taking a piece of paper that she was tending him “she drew me a picture.”

On July, 8 of 2014 he posted of him and the beautiful Jenna Black (at that time) “:.:She said yes:.: I want to share ans celebrate this with all of you right now. How public or private should this be? Well, you guys deserve to see where you have taken me and I like sharing with you who I am. Who we are. We’ve always felt an overwhelming support from all of you and we can’t wait to take this next step together…and yes, that was the most nervous I had never been.”

On October 2014 he posted a picture of 24 clikkies “:.:mutant•kids:.:

On December 2014, a photo of a clikkies tag”:.:clique•art:..i seewhatyou create” 

On April 2015, he tweeted about Blurryface Album telling them to “wait until your hear everything”. Few minutes later, he tweeted ” phone corrected ‘until’ to ‘unlit’ for a second, and now i’ll use that word to describe things that are great. twitter game unlit right now”.

And after that, he starts using his new word in a lot of his tweets.

He started by using that word towards one of the person he loves the most on earth, “josh is unlit“, and after that, he used that word to qualifies a lot of his shows and by it giving love to his fans.

He also posts on Insatagram “clique••art:. stay unlit, keep creating” And he posted a lot of clikkies’ art.

He always seems very thankful for everything and thanking everyone for it. ” thank you, my friends. all of you.” Later he addressed to his fans” couldn’t survive without you, friends. will you still be here on the 19th? need to lean on you that day, friends.”

I try to make everyone sure that they get noticed by him “i see you all; in one fashion or another; so thank you, my friends; my peers;” / “it breaks my heart to see that Not posting would lead some of you to believe that i do not Love and Support you. that is simply not true. any day when love defeat hate, you can know i am celebrating, just maybe not on twitter. as for the silence: through personal experience, i want to create and influence something that might help others navigate through the battlefield that is the brain. and for those who understand that terminology, you know what battle i am talking about. but while at this mental ground zero, i have found that any other influence added on, no matter how noble, becomes to heavy for me to carry. i am not strong enough. be patient with me as i grow, that some day i might be able to carry more weight. but for now, i write what i know. both josh and i mean this, with Love and Support, .tyler”

On July 2015, he said ” you all have become so important to us. thank you. now go on, git. you gon make me cry now.”

On August of that same year, he continued “my frens i appreciate you all so much. i use music. you use music. thank you for letting me be a part of that with you.” On Instagram “:newfrens:__|__:øldfens: cometogethernow”

On September, he said “gangsters don’t let their gangster frens cry but my frens and i cry all the time. bye.”

On November, he thanked his fans for making a video for his anniversary “saw the video some of you guys put together for my day of birth. got me all misty. thank you for making me feel. all you, i like all you.::” ” thank you all for the bday weesh’s my frens. now go create.” On Instagram “the German clique always puts on amazing shows. hate that i can’t be with them these next few nights. we’ll be back very soon, i promise. dang, this photo makes me all emotional roadshow.” / ” love getting clique:art at shows, especially when it creeps me out a little. took a close up of this one on my phone. sorry I didn’t catch who to credit.”

On December he posted a clique art on Instagram “i see what you guys create and it convinces me i should keep creating too. you have no idea.”

On the last day of 2015, he thanks his fans to made what he hope for possible “2thousand5teen the year i fell asleep and had one long dream. thank you |-/ “

He also said, “i wish i could have a real conversation with all of you individually.“

“and if you or someone near you needs out of the pit for an emergency, hold up your hand and point down at them. i’ll stop the show for you.“

” just drove slowly past the entire line for our show today. i’ve fallen for you guys. each one of you.“

On February 2016, he posted a photo of him “shows in europe:.:can’t wait to see you frens”

On August “i will never forget this tour. the first installment of the emøtiønal røadshow will forever be a part of who i am as an artist, a friend, a performer, a fan. you guys know how to put on a show. so if you watched from a distance, checked in online or helped hold us up in the pit: thank you. because we are “famous” now we have to do all kinds of interviews with random people but the thing that those people always ask us about is you guys. it’s my favorite type of question because i love to brag about you. i know i may have been distant online recently but i can only take that kind of break to focus on doing shows because i know you guys always hold it down, keep the fire burning, keep tending to that flame. if you guys continue to look out for each other, support each other’s art, and stay together you’ll be unstoppable. and the distance is just a season. more shows to come, more songs to write. only for you guys. |-/“

The clikkies did again a video for his birthday in 2016 and he replied” if you hurt any of these people i will hurt you. thank you frens. so much. |-/”

” . you deserve more than a :thank:you: my frens. the ones who hold this thing up. i brace for the fall but you keep on holding. . “

On February,14 of 2017 he posted 3 times, one for Jenna, one for Josh and one for us” and to you. Happy Valentine’s Day. lets all date.“

On October 2018 he said ” ok im out. i should get on here more. first show of the bandito tour tomorrow in nashville. i like you guys.” / “TRENCH ||-// out now:: tell some people you know, if you can. and if you already spread the news, thank you my fren:: josh was up all night calling everyone in his contacts” In November “hit me hard last night, where we came from, how this started. playing last night in phoenix was a perfect representation of that. thank you, frens. |-/ “

On December “you all are so weird” “and i love every bit of it thank you for making this birthday great/weird and, you know what, happy birthday to all of you, whenever that may be. because when that day truly comes around, i won’t really care that much”

“the bandito tour is very special to me, including any of you who made it to the show this year. thank you. things get quiet around this time, and i’m reminded why i write so much about the lack of sound. it’s deafening. all of the questions. is what i’m doing any good. this last album, was it good enough, what’s the point. i hate typing them out, which might be why i refuse to grant them any punctuation. but then i’m reminded of the show and the people who come. this odd theatrical convention we have landed on as a species, a concert, is somehow healing and protecting, boosting the immune system of the psyche. maybe it’s the ethereal sensation of hearing you all singing in unison, or its the natural warmth of the collective body heat from the pit billowing toward me. whatever t is, i’ve learned it can be harnessed and preserved so that the echoes of its effects can be tapped in to when needed. kneeling down in front of you during the show, i’m collecting. and now as i type this out i’m unpacking, to combat those questions that show up in the quietest of places. feels silly just saying”thank you for coming to the show” so i thought i’d explain it a little. see you at the next one |-“

I hope I made you believe that Tyler loves you because he truly does. He isn’t a singer who doesn’t care about his fans, he does love us. He wants us to stay alive, it’s not some jokes that people told because they think it would make you feel better, it’s the reality. If he learns you didn’t stay alive, it would devastate him.

Stay Alive frens ||-//

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Joshua’s takeover of ask-svt-hearteu

I love Josh with all my heart and soul. Please spend the day sleeping and eating a lot

Joshua: Hi everyone! It’s Seventeen’s Joshua and I’m so glad to be able to answer any questions you might have for me today on my birthday! I’m always thankful for all the love and support our carats give me and the rest of Seventeen, so let’s be happy together, shall we? Love you guys <3

Mini Masterlist of all Joshua Day asks:

YOU, JOSHUA HONG, I LOVE YOU. YOURE AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING AND I AM BLESSED TO EXIST IN THE SAME CENTURY AS YOU DO. KEEP BEING THE AMAZING BRILLIANT GEM YOU ARE. 

Happy birthday to my #1 bias Joshua!!! Don't tell the other js ;) ♥️🍷🍰👀

joshua~~ happy birthday, dearie~ here’s to another year of good work and results!! make sure to take care of yourself, okay?? 💙💙 -dream anon

To: Seventeen I love you guys so much but you gotta sTOP LEAVING JOSHUA OUT YA KNOW. HE DOESN'T DESERVE THE DISRESPECT >:( I still love all of you okey just ignore my comment :)) also happy birthday Joshua! 🎉❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREAT, WONDERFUL JOSHUA HONG. I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY WITH ALL THE MEMBERS *cough* and with your wife Jess*cough*

Are you really Joshua from Seventeen answering?

I love Josh with all my heart and soul. Please spend the day sleeping and eating a lot

Hey josh how does it feel to know that you, Jun and Mingyu are very very close to stealing me away from Vernon?

happy birthday joshua, i rlly rlly love ya, this rap wont be long, its just my love for hong, yo yo yo

black hair joshua!!! what a concept. you look stunning and ethereal and it feels like you came out straight from an anime. happy birthday hun, im gonna swerve to your lane (dont tell jihoon and kwannie though) —kwanhoon love bot

joshiii, what do you want to eat? I will treat you food for your birthday and I'll treat you right for the rest of your life ;))

I WANT TO GIVE JOSHUA HONG THE MOST AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIONATE AND SOFTEST CUDDLE EVER. I WANT TO STARE IN TO HIS EYES AND COMPLIMENT THE HECK OUT OF HIM AND LOVE HIM TILL ETERNITY ENDS.

Joshua, the love of my life, my sun moon and stars, dare I say my soulmate. Please marry me, make me the happiest girl in the world. -lily anon

Happy birthday Joshua!! I love you with you soft voice, starry eyes and your amazing free style rap💝 Hope you have an amazing day that you deserve!!!

Joshua! Happy birthdayy, You're my ultimate bias I hope you have an amazing day, you deserve it! I love you so much 💖🎂

last night i had a dream about josh, and to put long stories short, it was essentially about him being an amazing and cuddly and loving hugger and i was very happy the entire time. it is now officially my dream to be hugged by the Joshua Hong -aries anon

im getting my hair dyed today and its gonna look really cool im hyped plus I'm getting rid of the remains from last time I dyed it because it looks gross. (also ooh shit its Joshua's birthday yanno the members better do smth cool or I'm suing pledis)

Prince Joshyyy!!! Happy bithday to youuuu~ **sends virtual hugs and cookies** Ahhh.... For the day... TO ALL THE MEMBERS OF SEVENTEEEN!!!! Dont leave shua at least for the day :') appreciate dis kind boii :''') **sends another package of love nad cookies**

Happy happy birthday handsome!! I love your lovely, sweet voice, soft demeanour, rapping, and of course your dorkiness (and so much more). I'm honestly so proud of you and all of your accomplishments with Seventeen this year!! I hope that you got to spend this day with your loved ones and your day has been nothing short of perfect. And just for today I'm switching lanes just for you, lol. 💖💖💖 (Don't tell Seungcheol).

Choi Seungcheol I am leaving you for Hong Joshua.

Josh has anyone told you that you're boyfriend material because dang you are so boyfriend material....happy birthday love🎉🎉🎉

Joshua did you know that you and taehyung have the same birthday. You are both my ultimate biases.

Say, Joshua? I know this sounds kind of rude. How old are you? I'm just naturally curious. I'm 27 so I know I'm older :( Lena

Happy brithday Joshuaaaaa♥♥! Hopefully the boys let u rest enough....lmao who am I kidding wE ARE GONNA THROW THE BIGGEST PARTY EVER

I hope the members aren't mean to you since it's your birthday. And I hope they wait on you hand and foot like the Prince you are. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and eat lots of cake. I love you. Thank you for being born ❤❤❤

to the beautiful, amazing birthday prince: happy birthday <3 thank u for blessing all of us with ur wonderful existence.

OH MY LORD BBY BOY JOSHUA HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY THAT YOU THROW UP GLITTER ILY SM❤️❤️❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💚💛💛🧡🧡❤️💚💙💜🖤❤️💜💚❤️💙💙🧡🖤💜💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙💜💙💙🧡💛❤️❤️💜🖤🖤💜💜💛💛💛💛💛💚💚💙🧡🧡🧡

Joshua I hope you get everything you wished for your birthday because, if could, I would give you the entire galaxy only for you♥️

Joshua, if you get forgotten by the members this day, just tell me so I can sue them -jkjkjk i love you all- but I hope you have an amazing day Josh!💕💕💕💕

Hey josh has jess done anything for you on your birthday. Also i ship you guys hard.

asdfghjkl josh everyone ships you and jess together YOU MIGHT AS WELL RULE CALIFORNIA TOGETHER but pls date

[gloomygalleon]

So, okay.

I know I probably said in my last post that it'd be the final one before I go, but here I am being an asshat writing hopefully one last time.

*One Week by the Barenaked Ladies plays in the background*

Not only because ya girl leaves for Tokyo, Japan one week from the wee hours of tomorrow morning, but because that was a song in the Digimon Movie which I am very excited about for my dang trip.

Shit is getting real. Too real. My yen was supposed to arrive today but when I called it hadn't yet. I really hope it's here by tomorrow. I have three sure shifts left, the schedule isn't out for next week but I'm high key hoping to work on Monday so that I'll have a very small cheque in two weeks time. A dinner is a dinner my pals.

I'm at a point where I'm suddenly panicking trying to make sure everything is totally in order. I'm watching videos on navigating the Calgary airport, the Montréal airport and Narita airport. I have some last second shopping to get done and packing to begin. I'm wondering when I'll have the opportunity to pack which is wild lmfao. I'm so busy all the time. Every day this week is booked up and I'd actually still like to see my mom one of those days. How soon is too soon to pack? I think about everything I intend on taking, and having to find time to wash said clothes and charge said batteries and put away said makeup without needing it before I leave. That's the stressful part. Especially since I don't use a dryer anymore, I wash my clothes 2 days before I intend to need them so that they can hang to dry. There's a lot to consider. I'll figure it out.

In other news, today I bought Paya a new tank. I've been meaning to for a long time, and I thought I would save my trip money and buy it when I'm home in May; but I couldn't wait that long. I woke up to a really fantastic deal advertised to me on Facebook and her new tank is massive and beautiful. I'm actually really pleased for her. She really deserved more space and I'll never have to upgrade again. It's the best size for her.

I just had my birthday! It was a really nice quiet weekend. I spent my birthday working (cus fuck knows I want every penny I can get before I leave) and I had dinner with Joshua that night. I'm so happy I have such a beautiful person at my side, always. The next day I went to Sci Fi with my two best friends and just sat around admiring some cosplays and running into so many of my friends! I couldn't justify spending money to get inside and buy merchandise that I'll just end up finding better versions of in Japan. :/ So I saved my money. We were caught in a massive downpour on the way to my birthday dinner, where they put a candle in my sushi for me! It was a really lovely birthday gesture. Josh was missing throughout all this because he's been ~new car shopping~ with his mom because he's obviously never done it by himself before. I'm so proud of my boy! Sunday I spent the day at my dads house with my family having a delicious dinner. I got so much money for my trip it was really wonderful of everyone to think of me. All in all it was a quiet and lovely birthday weekend.

I'm writing this out avoiding doing my dishes so that I can eat. I really don't..... Want to. Why can't I have an unlimited supply of dishes so I could eat without having to clean first?

Anyway, long story short I leave for Tokyo in a week. A week from now I imagine I'll be cuddled up with Josh as he doesn't want me to leave. Oh! And another thing, we've actually kind of decided to go back to Tokyo in September?? Together?? He's never been one to plan much like a trip with me but he's so sad he couldn't come on this trip and I really want to take him too. So he's actively looking at plane tickets and air bnbs and it looks like we're going the first week of September ndhskdbdj BYE.

[pkmntrainergreyze]

The Emo School (Chapter 1)

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Chapter 1: An Emo Box of Misery with Pastel Pink Ecstasy

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

-Paul McCartney

09/12/01

Finishing up my plate, well, I couldn’t lie about a few scraps of mixed vegetables on it, the boys decided it’ll be fun to move out of the uncomfortable chairs. I couldn’t escape or not recoil from Ryan’s glares. I know what’s up with him, and the dirty look he’s giving is giving me the creeps. He makes me shiver down my spine and I swear one glare from this long legged man makes me want to stop everything I do- heck, if he was some soldier I’d be doing push-ups right now. (oh hallelujah he isn’t)

“Geez, I just couldn’t finish eating carrots right now Ryro. Is that so big of a problem?” He scoffed before lending me his hoodie. As weird as it sounds I need his dang cologne, it smells pretty darn good, but as much as possible I wouldn’t smell the hoodie in front of him and would rather wear it since it’s d*mn cold for me recently. He seemed to crunch the paper bag once he stared at the floor, as if some cockroach crawled nearby under the shade of the table.

Wait, is there?

“…Ryan, is there-”

“Yes, you spilt my milk in my f*cking man purse B-den”

Oh crap

“Congratulations”

He gave me the Tyrone tone of voice. The same blank yet forcefully enthusiastic voice you hear from the man that often wears a business outfit and a tie.

Where’s the escape Trainer button when you need it?

His face… I couldn’t see it under his brushed locks of hair. I’m not sure whether to look or not to look, either way it’ll probably just result to a really bad, salty ending. Sounds like something you see on Walmart eh? Bittersweet I guess? I am not so sure.

Oh F- the bell rang. It’s really torturous to hear it every single day of the week, especially the inescapable Mondays we have here at school, technically, everybody’s school.

Dallon grabbed his bag and left quickly, even faster than Spencer was when he ran over a advert pole drunk, remind to tell you that story sometime, just not today. Dallon’s a pretty straight guy, he’s like this dad who would be so overprotective of his children- or his students in the real world perspective, but when you think of the other side of that trait, he’s making fucking Dad jokes that my own Dad wouldn’t say. My Dad probably has a better sense of humor than Dallon- Dadlon, whatever.

And honestly speaking, he’s probably trying to avoid making any conversation with us, since we’re kind of talking sweet sweet cocaine.

Ahh yes, I’m about to walk back to the same tracks juniors walk to. I’ll probably receive about ten hearty smiles on my way there. Bet you ten bucks.

Alright, I finally forced my feet to walk and leave the table. Reaching for the end of the cafeteria…

Mrs Jackson smiled. One- wait, that doesn’t count as a junior? She looks nasty tho? Fine, stop judging my poor taste alright?

Passing by Ms Fletcher- okay, one. Her small smile is cleary not that visible. She’s the same child writing poems and speech-y crap for the principal to get quote on quote “extra credit” when in reality she’s serving weeks of detention, constant, but hey, she plays the best d*mn pranks in this school, okay, maybe third bestest.

I still played the “Place-posters-with-Pete’s-phone-number-with-the-tag-’call single males now!’” Prank

Walking around Spencer… Taking a glanc- two.

Oh, I forgot…. Whatever, Spencer looks like a kindergarten anyways so either way no points for me.

Spencer waltzed back to 9AM1 aww.

With how much students doesn’t rush to class after the bell rings, it wouldn’t let me reach that sweet sweet bar of full-on-smiles. Fine, future students, I owe you all ten bucks… only if you’re admit to our holy sacred school though.

Ha! I sound like Principal Wentz.

Profit-oriented mindset over one hundred babe.

I just entered the horrifying classroom of 8AM3. Welcome back to the real world my friends. As soon as I pretty much had my presence in the room students came to class. I heard a lot of talk ‘bout me being the coolest, chillest, most laid-back teacher here in the Junior buildings so I guess I have no competition or complaints.

I can already see the small group of students which I have known to be quite shy. They have my music class after Patrick’s theory crap that I don’t really pay that much attention to.

Mr Flowers just nodded along the conversation he’s having while Mr Bowie kept talking about this junior that idolizes him despite walking down outside the halls of my class. They sure have forgotten that I’m not closing the Godd*mn door before the class have their attendance.

My habitual scoff just came by so casually that students think of it as some form of comic relief. I don’t really know how to explain to these lil demons that it’s an attitude problem.

To think that Patrick’s just on my class, 8AM3, right now, teaching them how Do and Re sounds good together makes me feel better on how I’m actually giving the world- 9AM1 rather, a favor for consuming their time studying with my existence. That’s a joke, Patrick’s probably having fun right now.

Well, it looks like it’s about time.

I looked out the window in the similar fashion the students did as well.

Tick tock tick tock.

“What time is it?” Oh god, that voice crack though. I can hear the punks in this class snickering at it.

“Just struck nine” There goes my sunshine haired buddy cham pal.

“Is the cat at home?”

“He’s about to dine”

It’s Josh, this happened yesterday as well, and the day before. He’s teaching that “cat and mouse” game with the students; this time it’s 8AM2, not 8AM1.

Did I already explained to you why I call classes by numbers?

Well, because the real names sucks. No kidding, it’s so overused.

Who would name their classroom “Grade Eight Morning Glory?”, seriously? I want my class to be “Grade Eight Mary Jane”

Has that kind of ring to it, amiright?

Up until now I wonder why on earth Patrick and Frank likes their class names. I mean- those names are decades old. “Grade Ten Patience” seems plain, don’t tell Frank that.

“Sir do we have an assessment today?” Molly asked from the back with her hand stretched higher than Tyler’s current mood. I nodded as they all groaned. Laughing out of- well, sadism I guess? I had the projector connected to the PC and had it on freeze.

There the students saw my desktop wallpaper of a class picture me and the 8AM3 informally had, plus Patrick, Dallon and Spencer. Spencer truthfully looked out of place in this picture, it looks like he had a date with Aubrey Hepburn. Meanwhile Dallon stood there like he’s telling everyone his birthday is today- but he doesn’t have to lie that it’s on May 4th and that he just turned seven. Patrick’s just there, signature fedora on and a small peace sign.

Let’s not forget my entire class though. We have Frank Gioia and Eva in the front with Frank’s hands on her waist as her eyeliner-ed eyes shone against the color black. The Fro power and his friend glasses just stood there with awkward check poses that seems to go back somewhere deep and hidden in the past. Melanie and Ashley just stood there with no expression, except for the other student beside them, which is Jon, who’s doing the same peace sign Patrick’s been keeping up. The rest is can be explained stereotypical-ly; the emo, the shy artist, the jock, it’s just a fun variety to look at.

“Is that cous’?” I saw him pointing at the one with a black hoodie from the corner of my eye.

“Yep, that’s definitely your cousin Adam”

“They all look happy as heck”

“Sir can we take this sort of picture later?”

Another batch of noise.

Anyways, before my brain shuts down to “teaching mode” looks like I have to get back to this thinking normally crap later. Honestly the author just got no idea how American schools work so let her skip this part dotdootdoot. (let’s just say rep-emo isn’t an American Author (badum tsk))

●———————–●

Finally; the end of the day. Organizing my stuff after drinking my cold caffeine that was left in the canteen at break, I finally had my temporary freedom I shall redeem before my world domination.

Speaking about possible world domination if either me or Patrick does it we’ll both have things planned out but procrastinate later on.

Blowing my students a playful kiss when the bell rang I waltz to the exit first, even so I can still hear their laughs and joyful cheers.

Then I saw something- rather, someone I wish I could just avoid for the week.

Christian Tyler Joseph

My feet practically swooshed and I’m pretty sure my sole—and also my soul—said “nope, not today”. I swear, I’m an atheist but I prayed at that very moment. You know that tense feeling those cliché video game main character does when he or she feels the villain’s presence or just something freaky in the ceiling happens? If you’re thinking you are imaging those overused gulp noises that’s actually real, very real.

Yeah, feeling it.

“Oy! Brendo-”

“I’ll pay my debt later Troye!” Thank God I cut him off before he diss me in front of the students.

“For the last time Fivehead it’s Tyler!”

I know. Dude, we’ve been working together for years now and yet you seem dense about it, maybe that’s just because I always act stupid, don’t let that fool you, I am stupid.

Honestly, that poor guy is so easy to tease. If it wasn’t for my distracting use of ’T’-names I would have had a small—small as Tyler could get—fight. I heard a huff from behind my back that obviously came from Tyler himself, yes, I’m stubborn.

●———————–●

A sigh sadly escaped my lips as I flipped to peak into my students’ Assessment grades.

From Ashbridge to Zoroa; all were sorts of disappointment. Even those who got perfect seems fake to me. If Ryan didn’t left me to go somewhere with Spencer he would have said the grades are as fake as diamonds that looks like broken glass.

I’m so unhappy right now. Never thought I’d use that word.

That all changed when I heard the door slid and also a student did the same but in a more humane manner.

          Enter Ashley the student.

She’s that special student who’s quite popular, inside and outside school grounds. She’s literally a celebrity. She seems to get away each time she dyes her hair unlike another student of mine that goes by the name “crybaby”.

Guess who’s her advisor?

Yeah, that’s obviously me, anyone who said “Dallon” deserves a spank… or a slap, that’s just kinky.

“Hey there Mister Urie”

“Hello to you too Ashley, what’s up?”

Unlike other schools, we’re all practically informal here; teachers and students are pretty much close buds that we don’t even have some guidance counselor, I don’t know if that is a flaw or not… I guess Meagan is a counselor, but that’s just Pete’s wife. Going back to Ashley she’s the only girl in my class—well aside from Melanie—that calls me Mister Urie all the time, but that’s probably due to respect, which is quite neat unlike some students.

“I have milk and cookies here, Melanie wanted to give this out and um… She also asked me to give you this note…”

Yeah, that’s Melanie, no one exactly trusts her, except for Tyler and Hal- I mean Ashley I guess.

“Cool, just place it one of the chairs thanks”

She nodded- before I rudely interrupted when the thought rushed back deep inside my skull.

“Wait, what’s written?”

“Umm… It says; Do you like my cookies? They’re made just for you, a little bit of sugar and… lots of poison too” She seems to hesitate on reading it and I have no doubts on why she is.

Honestly, this is one of those times I wish I could pacify her.

I couldn’t blame her actions, she’s been through a lot- like, a whole looot, as edgy as the book written by Pete when he was young (we fortunately got to read it in his office, don’t tell anyone) she has been kidnapped, rough family, drugged and other things I wouldn’t go deeper.

She’s pretty odd, but really a pretty nice person at the same time. It’s like the half dyes of her hair. She, Frank, Eva, Jon, Mikey, Ray and Richie would talk to me all day and I feel comfortable with them.

I honestly like crazy people like her. She doesn’t mind me doing crappy things and she empathize with me, it’s nice to have someone like that ya know?

Hallelujah, I have such great students and yet I’m a sh*tty teacher. I wonder what type of cookies are in there-

F*ck, that pink pastel box looks creepy as Teletub-

I need some breather.

“Hey Ashley can you pass me the coc-”

Oh wait f*ck

She doesn’t know that yet

Oh god that sounds wrong. No I’m not gay shut up… What are you talking about me and Ryan are just friends. No, not even Dallon, shut up. Denial what the- okay I’m done talking to y'all, I’ll tell you about my past with Ryan later, m'kay? Yes I’ll talk about Dallon later too but now you f*cks are just distracting me.

Anyways, she doesn’t know I do cocaine.

“Uhh… what?”

Sh*t, you guys make me sound so bad. Thinking about it, I am the only one to blame if she did knew.

Think Brendon! Think!

WHY AM I IMAGINING SCENES FROM HANGOVER RIGHT NOW?! IT’S STILL 2001.

“Pass me the…. baby powder from the back of the second row shelf thanks”

“Okay… what does it look like there’s a bunch of jars here Mister Urie!” Yelling a bit for me to hear, I felt a drop of sweat coming from my distracting forehead.

“Uhh…. It’s in one of those straight shoote- I mean flower designs in it”

She raised a small glass tube with some flower designs in it. She raised her eyebrow a bit like it’s already questioning me.

I mean, why would someone smoldering with appeal like me would buy flowers? I had enough with people questioning my sexuality so I’m not having that again.

“This one?” She held the love roses tube and shook it. I hope she didn’t suspect me for anything if so then I hope that I ain’t kissing Pete’s *ss for this. Thank past me for buying filtered one and not the transparent, but that’s too early for me to say so.

“Yeah, bring it here. Thanks” She threw it to me and I caught it, fortunately.

“Why would you have it in a flower case?”

Haha…

“I have no containers left, is all”

She nodded once more “I’m pretty sure Principal Wentz would allow ya to use one of the containers in the science room, I mean you’re close to Mister Iero as well right?”

Haha… riiight. I’m pretty sure Mister Wentz or Iero wouldn’t

“Yeah, thanks for the idea and the cookies, tell Melanie the same”

“Yeah, you’re welcome Mister Urie”

●———————–●

“BRENDON!”

That’s Dallon, once more in all his glory. He never seems to stay calm after his week of teaching in this school. His hair looks like his wife quiffed it- whatever people call that hairstyle, maybe I should say hair mess.

“What?” As you can tell, I’m tired as well so long and goodnight Dal, I need some shut eye. This is the same man who almost fell asleep while teaching the opium war, quite surprising that he can be this tense.

“YOU CAN’T DO DRUGS IF THEY CAUGHT YOU YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE-”

“SHH!”

Yeah! I would be if you continued yelling.

“Shut up Dallon” I closed the door behind me only to here Dallon handling the doorknob back open.

“Brendon, it’s not healthy”

What is he gonna say? Cardiac arrest? Lung problems? Yeah, I know the side effect don’t worry about it, stimulation has always been a part of me even though I try so hard to deny it. I try to stop each time though so I don’t have to hear this right now.

(Author just searched the side effects of cocaine so this may not be exact, author is not a doctor, author’s life sucks)

“Uhuh”

“No I’m serious! My friend used to do drugs as well and he-”

Oh no. I’m having this talk again am I?

Rolling my eyes back to a distant land called “Nopeland”. I could only hear incoherent sounds of a failed attempt to get me to change my decisions in life. I only found the polychromatic color that matches the walls once more when my eyes landed back to my table.

Smirk.

Grab.

Flick.

“W-cou-hat the h-heck Brendon that’s childish eew is that baby powder or powdered milk? Disgusting”

Nah, that’s coke, have fun cleaning your uniform for tomorrow morning kiddo.

And then- with just one swish and flick- I magically landed back to happy land. Maybe it’s the side effect of cocaine, may or may not be but whatever, I’d like to think that it is for the moment. It’s nice to see someone’s first encounter with coke, if I were to be Van Gogh I’d be painting this view of Dadlon trying to remove the white stains from his crotch right now.

Looks like I have something to write on my Journal huh?

Let’s be real though dear hopefully-future-students; my dairy is a lot more cooler than the Diary Of A Wimpy kid? No? Yeah you’re right, my life sucks. If this were a subject you all would have had all my assessments perfect even on your first day.

I don’t know whether you should take that as a compliment or that states you’re slowly becoming trash- well no, technically all you little eyes are my treasure so don’t go living in the dumps.

“Brendon please help me remove this stuff”

“No thanks”

“Beeeebooo”

“Not this again Dallon”

This is some sick technique in which Dallon uses the nickname “Beebo” to get me to do something. No, I’m not telling you “why Beebo?”.

Fine.

It all started when me and Patrick were teaching the seniors for a bit since Andy couldn’t come due to a winter storm at his place. We were at Patrick’s small enthusiastic explanation about a simple concept when someone boldly called me “Beebo” and it just stucked.

Groaning in the same manner the students of 9AM1 from earlier, I grabbed my handerchief and started rubbing the surface of his sweater that he probably bought last week.

“I hate you”

“Love you too Beebs, now continue helping me will you?”

Geez, I do have a lot to write down today.

Oh crap, he didn’t bought this last week; it says “Grade 10 Hibiscus” so it’s most probably hand made for him from his last advisory class. He got this last Christmas. Crap, I ruined his greatest gift. I am so sorry Dallon. Best not to tell this and the Ashley incident to anyone.

●———————–●

My eyes wondered about when I saw the box Ashley left in the corner.

That pink box…

I swear, I don’t have any idea on what to do with these cookies, they actually smell and look delicious. I guess I’ll never know huh?

“Hey Mister Urie is Richie’s detention over? He asked me to go shopping in Hot Topic today that’s why I’m asking” The next person to ever slide in after class today is Frank Gioia. The emotional kid who doesn’t seem to mind what everyone thinks, he’s a cool dude I swear.

“Oh, he’d be up by no-”

About the box….

As bright as the ideas Gerard drew in his sketchpad (which is full of strange looking people by the way, especially that all white violin girl), my eyes fluttered at the sudden thought that occured.

“Hey Frank?”

“Yeah?” He tilted his head to peak in a bit more. He doesn’t seem to be fazed at the fact I avoided answering his question.

“Want some cookies?”

Silence.

He stared at me for a bit, then back to the box I was supposedly reaching out for him to taste. His eyebrow raised at the sight of it.

“Isn’t that Melanie’s?”

Oh, he knew, that was some fail.

Lie or not to lie?

Nah, lying is pretty much fun if you’re a girl.

“Yeah, Melanie gave it to me earlier”

“Yeah saw it too”

Then another batch of awkward silence followed as we stared at each other, eyes locked with such confusion present on both sides.

“Sure… I’ll take one”

He came closer and took a bite of the chocolate chipped cookies from the forsaken box. He seems delighted somehow.

Well.

Looks like I have a new box to place my ecstasy.

●———————–●

I bumped into Ryan earlier.

He gave me this blank look before leaving me in the halls. He seemed to be carrying another paper bag; two packs of cheese whiz I presume. He didn’t seem to mind me whenever I snoop into his bags, although this time was an exception.

       ⏭️The theater in Brendon’s mind⏮️

Ryan: *looking at his paper bag*

Fab Brendon: What’s that *about to reach into the bag*

Ryan: *Slaps hand*

Ryan: Y o u  a r e  n o t  m y  f r i e n d

Exit Ryan.

⏯️

Trust me, give him a few more days and the two of us we’ll be okay, he wouldn’t exchange our friendship over cheese whiz….

I wonder if he thinks the same about me and Frank Sinatra, if so tell him I’d choose the latter.

●———————–●

On my way home I saw Ray and Mikey talking about Gerard and his small sketchpad they saw behind the bush in which he probably left it.

“How did it end up there in the first place?” They looked as confused as I am, Ray just raised his lips a bit higher to look like he’s pensive for an answer.

“He’s Mister Way after all, he can get like this, right Moikey?”

“Mikey Ray, It’s Mikey. Yes, he does act as irresponsible at times”

Sometimes I wonder if that face shows sadness, disappointment, anger or just plain nothing. It’s a pokerface no one could ever break, not even that time Joe played around with Frank’s chemistry set, I mean, mixing Mountain Dew and chunks of Doritos was funny and all, and Gerard’s reporting skills on that scene made the class laugh even more.

I sure do love this school’s innocent scenes.

Wait I’m going too far, back to Mikey.

“Anyways, do you know where your brother is at the moment?”

He shook his head in reply but Ray nodded it with excitement.

“Yeah he said he’s going to binge watch Star Wars in the cinema”

Mikey’s face dropped a bit before going back to normal. That action probably meant sadness… right?

“He forgot to drive me back home, whatever I’ll just walk”

“I’ll come with you don’t worry, we’re practically neighbors”

“no we’re not”

“shush”

I know that I laughed at that small conversation but I still feel the small strange vibe Mikey’s been radiating, unlike Gerard he would have punched me in the face if he was at the scene and tell me to “stay the *beep* away from my sketchpad!”

Was that beep necessary?

“Do you want me to call Gerard?”

“No, it’s okay Mister Urie”

I shrugged as he denied my random act of kindness, ouch.

“Whatever kiddos, get home safely okay?” “Yes Mister Urie” “Oh, and bring your brother’s sketchpad, he doesn’t want it in my hands”

Mikey raised an eyebrow “Don’t you wanna see what’s inside?”

I mean, it could be anything edge-shock-y so I wouldn’t dare open it.

“N-nah, rather not”

Mikey just nodded and fetched for the sketchpad in my hands.

Then I walked back home, just like they did.

God, I’m stopping drugs. Things like this are more stimulating…. and stressful

[ellenarcher]

Sometimes quiet is violent. Happy 5th birthday Vessel. *that picture from Drake & Josh where Drake is holding up a record and he goes “I love this album more than I love myself.” 💿 / Vessel changed my life and I hold it very very dear. The first song I heard from it was Car Radio and I was like dang that was gooood lemme go buy the album. And I ordered it from amazon and I remember listening to it for the first time one day when I was home alone and cleaning the bathroom. And I thought it was pretty weird, but I mostly liked it. And I was trying to read along with the lyrics but they were going so fast I couldn’t keep up. But obviously they had an effect on me. And look where we are now. I literally cannot imagine my life without this album. Thanks Vessel. Thanks tyler and josh. ❤️

[littlepetbee]

PILOTS CONCERT THINGS

so many old songs i didn’t get to hear last time!!!!!!!!!!! including ‘screen’ which i’ve wanted to hear my entire dang life

tyler wished his sister maddy a happy birthday and said she’s the ‘only girl [he’s] ever truly loved’ and then instantly fricken panicked and started falling all over himself like “AND MY WIFE AND MY MOTHER...AND MY MOTHER IN LAW” and it was honestly hilarious....he brought it home good with a cheeky “and josh!” because of course he did. slam dunk, joseph

the pit was honestly adorable!!!!!!!! there were a couple people running around with pan pride flags and then during the ‘trees’ finale the back couple rows all gathered in a circle and held hands and sang together and it made me tear up because that’s exactly what a pilots show is supposed to be about :’)

speaking of tears.....when the music goes down before ‘trees’ and people start yelling out “you saved my life!” and “thank you!!”............it’s A Lot. i literally fricken bawled and i couldn’t even sing the first half of the song because my mouth wouldn’t stop shaking

BUT tyler showed up right in front of me and my friends during ‘car radio!!!!’ like he was RIGHT HECKING THERE and it was so surreal i kinda felt like i was floating above it all. i managed not to be embarrassing and blow kisses but it was a close thing, i’ll admit. so instead i just screamed in my head THAT’S MY BABY AND I’M REAL PROUD and called it good

JOSHUA. IS A HAM. DON’T LET HIM PRETEND LIKE HE’S NOT. HE LOVES CAMERAS ON HIS OWN TERMS, LISTEN!!! Cutest Person In The World award goes to: josh dun on the drums!!!

also i can’t believe he drum battled himself and won!!! and also lost!!! and blew his own head off!!!! what a guy (but honestly though...watching real josh battle video josh felt Good. it felt Right. like ah yes finally he has a worthy opponent)

THE TRUCE/GONER ENCORE WAS SO GOOD. LIKE YES SCREAM ME TO SLEEP THANKS

the ‘trees’ speech was v inspiring and it pumped me up enough to want to have like Goals and Dreams and stuff, but the best part was the advice to “never do it alone” bc friendship is more important than everything y’all!!!!! everything is better with friends!!!! find your own josh and start a band!!! or something

but even more inspiring was when tyler just stood up there and stared at us to create an ‘’’’’’’awkward pause’’’’’’’ so the show would last longer. however i think he underestimates just how long we’d be willing to watch him do nothing. we’ve got all the time in the world bro don’t kid yourself

THEY PLAYED THE CANCER COVER!!! it was beautiful and sad and made me cry because apparently that was the theme for the night

anyways i think that’s it idk

i just love them so much why are they so weird and dumb and talented like fight me

[notconsolation]

Every number that is spelled with the letter 'e'.

THIS TOOK A WHILE. I left out ones I already answered 💞💞

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I hope so cause she gave birth to me and I would feel cheated if she were lying

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

I live there it's a nice state if you don't mind the rodents of unusual size roaming the streets, you should come visit

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I hope not

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Lord Huron - she lit a fire --> @twentyonequasars

8. How often do you listen to music?

I never stop

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

sweats, sue me I live on campus

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?

yes. there's a general election in a few days and also we all might die if a temperamental baby-man decides he's feeling trigger happy and throws a tantrum of mass destruction

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

at heart I am asi

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Yeh

13. What about ‘R’?

....possible? metaphorically..... I’m a

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Can't drive anything, not even a conversation.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

On a logical level, no, but buddy just looking at that sentence made my paranoia go haywire. If my window is open I hear snatches of the conversations people have on the doorstep to my house and I don't want to listen in but.... my ears are 100% always tuned to my name and if I hear it I literally recoil as if I'm bracing to be slapped.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

@my cat IM COMING BACK HOME SOON BABY

17. When was the last time you cried?

I just made a sandwich and the bread was stale so I moistened and seasoned it with my tears

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

hi, have you met me you can find me at @notconsolation and I send anon with a lot of heart emojis and alien faces

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

If any of my mutuals at any point identify as male --> lookin at you. Also: smokey.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

exAms

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

I dunno, Becky, is it

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

NEin

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A racoon

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

I have the best friends and I don't deserve you guys

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Every cat I've ever come across that wasn't already mine

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

@twentyonequasars

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Nein

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

Hidden? jk, I haven't been drinking for a while now cause..... honestly I feel like people should present reasons to drink rather than be expected to have a reason why they're not drinking

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Ja

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Sure. do I remember it? no, but i had one recently about time travelling spies going undercover in a victorian monastery so that's something

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

HONEY NO please don't

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

this is..... a sore subject

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Maybe Charlie is wondering why I'm taking so dang long with this?

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

不是

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

....um... that's part of what it's for?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

i challenge you to find one (1) single human being that does not do this. I bet animals do it, too

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Oui, maman.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

bOi. Very much so and not at all.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

@OP, who hurt you

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Honestly I did not expect I would ever get to the point where I truly like Peanut, the spider that lives in the corner of my window, but here we are.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

A loser hides behind, , a mask of my disguise, , ....

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

Oh, fuck, I think so. I'm thinking of someone, but I can't remember his name? Or. I'M not sure he ever told me?

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

@gender, Fuck you, you mean nothing to me

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yeh boi

61. How’s your heart?

Bitching about that cholesterol

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

Yeah but like, whose dad hasn't made them cry at one point? Not, like, in an abusive way. Just.... parents, ya know?

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

negative

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

What the fuck @op who HuRt you

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Please, you think I wear pants in public?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

An Amazon employee who was scarily friendly. I thought he might be being held at gunpoint and trying to give me secret messages and i panicked

70. How do you look right now?

Like the usual amalgamation of straw and painted burlap sack that looks back at me from the mirror.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

Yeh, although I haven't met them, really.

72. Can you commit to one person?

Probably not.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

I don't, actually. Huh.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Whenever my cat leaves my side. Doubly so if I'm petting her and she hears someone else come home so she runs to them. WHAT, I'M NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU???

75. Did you wake up cranky?

Heck yeah, it's exam season bonch. are we sensing a theme yet?

76. Are you a jealous person?

Jealousy and envy are concepts I find fascinating. Jealousy, I think, is wanting something someone else has while envy is more wanting what they are. I get envious a lot, but I'm not really a jealous person at all, no.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Listen, you're hooting up the wrong line of string here with these relationship questions.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

I don't think I've ever given up on anyone actually, not completely. Well. Maybe Guy Fieri.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

my cat.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

EXAM. DIE.

81. Last person you cried in front of?

My mother

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Most people, actually.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Listen, this ask thing is really tough for someone without a relationship or any wish whatsoever to be in one.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

It's a bunch of you guys and we'd have a bonfire going up on the hill overlooking the town.

85. Are you over your past?

Broad question. Broad answer: no, what, you expect me to be a fully functioning human being?

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Nepe

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

.... honestly? probably @stalk-softly. they passed the last test I had for them and are now officially in my inner circle. Ah heck, probably all my mutuals?

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

@op, whomsTve HURT you?

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

Sure, she lives across the street and is probably here to see my flatmates. But if she wants to hang out that's cool.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

nah-ah

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

Please, no

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Hmmmm don't think so? No offence to any Michael's out there but...... the name Michael makes me think of overalls and a beer belly?

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

Honestly,, it's possible? But I have no idea. Probably? There's a lot of Matthews out there.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

Nope

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

! i like many people, none of them in accordance with the spirit of this question, I think.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

I love Josh but he's not my type.

97. Who do you have texts from?

I don't actually text very much because I live on tumblr dot com and i am wifi's bitch. The only person I regularly text is my friend Josh.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Spatchcock and roast at 200°C for 45 minutes. Oh wait. huh? I think I got lost on this one.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Have I ever kissed someone younger than me? I don't think so? Although there was Marion and I don't know how old she is. Actually it was her birthday the other day but I don't know whether she turned 18 or 19. So, uh. Maybe.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

Nobody, actually, it's just le me.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

Nope

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Geez this question was geared towards people without social anxiety, literally every human being gives me butterflies........ but uh not.... in a good way

LONG ASS ANSWER COMPLETE THANKS FOR ASKING! 

[apt-to-embellish-blog]

A Parisian Holiday

As I write this post, I am listening to the mourning doves coo, as the sun rises across a pasture near Mont St. Michel.  While Josh and I thoroughly enjoyed Paris, we were happy to escape the bustle and heat (hello historic European heat wave!) for a more pastoral northern Normandy retreat.  While in the city, though, we did our best to soak up as much of Paris as possible.

On Wednesday morning, we strolled to a small local bakery, starting the day right with Quiche Lorraine and plenty of optimism.  One of my favorite characteristics of Josh is the wonder he brings to traveling a new city; it seems that no matter where we go, he always notices the beauty in details, such as the perfect crust of our quiche.  Fortunately, this crust was so perfect that we American-style wolfed each piece down in about 3 minutes; I regret nothing.

Breakfast Quiche

Sandeman’s Free Walking Tour  Having finished our “leisurely breakfast” in record time, we decided to catch an early free walking tour of the city.  The tour company, Sandeman’s, is present throughout Europe and has been a long-standing staple of our vacations; we love the perfect mix of humor and history as we gain our bearings on a new city.  Strolling through the city, we saw a sampling of it’s finest sites: Notre Dame, Sainte-Chapelle, the Louvre, Pont Neuf, and even the Arc de Triomphe de Carrousel

Meeting at Fontaine Saint-Michel for our walking tour 

Bumping out in front of a statue

Fun fact: the Arc de Triomphe de Carrousel is a miniature but still sizeable Arc De Triomphe built by Napoleon between 1806 and 1808, as the real arch was taking too long to build and dang it, he wanted to celebrate his victory by marching through an arch!  Anyone who has ever settled for less than their ideal while decorating for a birthday party will understand his motivation...after your arms get tired from hanging decorations, suddenly minimal decorations are totally what you envisioned all along!

Arc de Triomphe de Carrousel

This guy really understands how I feel about running out of purse snacks

But I digress.  We finished our walking tour by the Louvre, and decided to take a quick opportunity for a snack under a bench, because pregnancy has turned me into a ravenous wolf, until I start eating, and then into a squirrel, because I can only eat a moderate amount before my real-estate-lacking-stomach registers as full.  I think you all can imagine a wolf-squirrel eating a snack by the Louvre, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this blog; it was charming.

The Louvre Following said snack, we entered the Louvre, where once again baby bump magic tried to work it’s wonders; unfortunately, as my babydoll-style shirt suggested that I may just be ambiguously chubby, or perhaps due to the shortness of the line, we were told at this site that we had to wait in the normal line (10 minutes).  Spoiler warning: this was remedied by the next day’s outfit and has not happened since: baby-bumping the line is serious business in Paris’ busy season!

Ready for the Louvre

The Raft of Medusa by Géricault (which we enjoy far more than the Mona Lisa)

The Louvre was tremendous.  We prioritized French and Italian romantic painters, as they are my favorite, but also had an opportunity to take in sculptures and artifacts from around the globe.  While the Mona Lisa was a site to behold, it’s fame created a crowd that was less than enticing. Interestingly enough, it’s fame above Da Vinci’s other pieces is largely due to the fact it was stolen in 1911.  A media frenzy around the world tracked this caper, which was not actually so daring, as the piece was not as beloved at the time (Hint: it took a day for them to even notice it was missing!). Headlines world wide sensationalized the loss; people came to the museum just to see the pegs where it originally hung, and by the time the painting was returned, everyone knew it’s name.  And now, everyone wants to see it, hence the crazy line and throng of people.  True story: we actually many other works better!

Following the Louvre, we returned to our lovely air-conditioned room for a quick siesta and outfit change, awaking refreshed to continue our adventures.  

Sainte-Chappelle  Given that it was a cloudless sunny day, the lighting was perfect to take in the splendor of Sainte-Chappelle, a gothic-style royal chapel with one of the most extensive 13th century stained glass collections world wide.  Baby-bumping the line, we were allowed instant admittance to this stunning place; words cannot do it justice, so I’ll let the pictures below speak for themselves.

Climbing Notre Dame Following our Sainte-Chappelle adventure, we strolled by the Conciergerie, a former prison that held Marie Antoinette and others during the French Revolution, and headed back to Notre Dame.  Although we’d enjoyed the cathedral nave the day prior, we couldn’t leave this city without climbing to the top, pretending to be gargoyles, and yelling “sanctuary!” at the bells.  We really know how to blend in at historic sites.

Jardin du Luxombourg Having conquered all 387 steps of Notre Dame, along with the previous walking tour and Louvre, admittedly this girl was tired.  Fortunately, the Jardin du Luxombourg was close at hand.  This gorgeous green space is open the public, featuring an iconic fountain, tree-lined soft grassy lawns, and loads of flowers--in other words, we were strolling in a napper’s paradise (and yes, I hope you read that a rhythmic way like “Livin’ in a Gangster’s Paradise,” because that’s how I said it).  The garden was created in 1612 by Marie de Medici, King Henry IV’s widow, to imitate her native city of Florence--needless to say, it didn’t disappoint.

Lounging in the grass at the Jardin

Dinner and a miracle? After a sizeable rest, we awoke to realize that we were ravenously hungry; fortunately, cafes and restaurants lined nearly every block in the surrounding Latin Quarter of Paris, so we figured it couldn’t be too tricky to find a bite to eat.  Admittedly, by this point, I was a bit...how shall we put it, hangry?  So when we were seated in our first restaurant, with a mouth-watering menu, and the people around us started to smoke, this tired mama-to-be was not having it.  “Josh, I have smell aversions and this is bad for the baby.  I just can’t eat here,” I said in a not-whiny-at-all-voice. It’s true that in my current state, the smell of fish, smoke, or nasty body odor can currently bring me to my knees.  Josh brought up that I’d said that I was very hungry, and I agreed that I was hungry, but not hungry for cigarette smoke.  A new appreciation for non-smoking patios in Minneapolis bloomed.  No less than 30 seconds later, we sheepishly got up and left in search of a restaurant that wouldn’t take my breath away...at least not in that sense.

Fortunately, strolling around the bend, I spotted a gem of a restaurant that appeared to be serving pasta, at least if my gawking eyes saw the patron’s plate correctly. “Here, Josh, this one is perfect, it’s Italian, I’m just going to love it!’  We strolled up to the entrance, and with hesitant bonjours were granted a small window-side table, despite lacking a reservation.  Unfortunately, in a squeeze to get around the  table, my derriere managed to knock over the salt and pepper shaker on our neighbor’s table, but they pretended like it didn’t happen and so did we.

The setting was intimate, but there were no smokers in sight.  The stage was set for a perfect pasta meal.  While the menu was entirely in French, this girl was too tired for any sort of translation.  Spotting what appeared to be basil tomato pasta, I confidently pointed and ordered my craving--it was on!  A few minutes and a ton of baguettes later, the waiter arrived with my much awaited for dish: clams over a light bed of basil tomato pasta.  Clams?  Who knew?!   At this point, all I could do was laugh at swapping my smoke aversion for a seafood averson, making me look a bit manic to the surrounding tables.  In fact, all of the surrounding tables were eating fish, crab or lobster and the decor was nautical--course this was a seafood rather than the Italian restaurant I anticipated.  That said, when in Rome...err Paris, and served clams over pasta, one can eat clams over pasta.  And you know what?  Even though it wasn’t at all what I expected, it turned out to be delicious and I can cross one more aversion off my list.  Paris, no wonder you’re one of the food capitals of the world!

The only shot of the clam extravaganza

[wineryescapades]

Saturday we started with a quick stop at CityScape Winery in Pelzer, S.C.  We had an alternative motive for the visit, more to come later. We enjoyed a glass of Müller Two-Goats (Müller Thurgau), and chatted with Deb. Pinot the Pig was dressed in his superhero costume and grazing out by the vineyard. We think the world of Josh and Deb and appreciate all the hard work they put into making this small rural South Carolina Winery such a smashing success.

We then headed towards Newberry as Enoree River Vineyards was hosting their annual Harvest Festival. Along with Enoree River Vineyards, three other South Carolina wineries set up tents and offered wine for tasting and purchase. The first tent showcased our good friends from Old Rock Quarry Winery. The line at their tent was long all day. They mentioned at one point that were really concerned about running out of wine.

Second and third tents showcased wine from host Enoree River Vineyards. We love Richard and Laura and for anyone in the Columbia, Lexington, Irmo, Newberry, or Clinton area it is just a quick drive. The winery offers good wine and a beautiful relaxing place to unwind. Their Sunday pack the porch events are always a fun time.

Proverbs 31 Winery set up in the fourth tent. We have never visited this small boutique Winery, only open by appointment. We enjoyed chatting with them and found they are using local South Carolina grown fruit to produce their craft wines. The Watermelon and the Thanksgiving were especially interesting.

Finally, on the end was Mercer House Estate Winery. First, there’s the Bloody Mary wine. Yes, that’s not a typo. Guess what, it’s actually pretty dang good. They also offer a coffee wine, well that one wasn’t too our liking. Nevertheless, every wine offered is fun and unique. The highlight of their offering was the Sagaree 2015 which is billed as the first and oldest wine of America. Located right outside of Lexington, South Carolina, Mercer House is well worth a visit.

Two bands were featured on stage. Opening was the Time Pirates and Alex Davis with his band Passing Worth finished out the day. The weather was good, actually getting a bit warm as the sun shined down bright on the festivities. Several vendors were on-site offering crafts and farm goods. The festival was a big success and seems everyone had a great time. The ladies below were celebrating a birthday and all had matching shirts. I love the people we meet at wineries. Once the festival wound down, we drive to Greenwood and enjoyed wings and beer with an old friend.

Sunday we knew Alex Davis was playing solo at Owls Eye Vineyards so we made the quick drive over to enjoy a bottle and listen.  It is always fun to listen to Alex and we certainly enjoy sitting on the patio at Owl’s Eye and enjoying a bottle of their Celebration. Just oh by the way, Owls Eye is running a special during October, 50% off every case of wine.

Another weekend escapade comes to close. Expecting the North Carolina mountain fall foliage to be at peak viewing next weekend, we’ll held up into the mountains and find some wineries along the way. Happy Weekend Wining!

Return to WineryEscapades.Com

Weekend Escapades – Week 41 Bloody Mary Wine? Saturday we started with a quick stop at CityScape Winery in Pelzer, S.C.  We had an alternative motive for the visit, more to come later.

[bookreadalongs]

Wow, Lara J, I Get You

15:49 5/8/2017

85. All cutesy and smiles on the outside, but on the inside bitter thought. “I guess she didn’t think a girl like me could really shine at UVA.” 86. “He’s a Potter person, like us.” I thought it said “like the rest of us” and I was like yes! 87. I feel like Ravenclaw would suit Margot, but that’s because she’s a Ravenclaw…probably. LJ’s…very creative, but probably hufflepuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was Gryffindor…actually, she’s very scared about a lot of things. I don’t think she lets fear rule her life, but I think it does affect it (naturally) to a degree that she wouldn’t be Gryffindor. I’d love for Ravi to be Slytherin. Yo, where’s Josh going to school? 88. Dad didn’t think Margot would be the hardest to please, I bet. Lara Jean always chirps on about her mother. Margot did have he most time with her though… 91. I love the way they talk about their family. LJ said earlier– Tumblr is doing it again. Anyway, I’ll ignore it right now, just focusing on not making typos that I can’t see. LJ said they were a Butter in the fridge family. Same. Now, Margot says they are not a Fresca family. Love it. I never thought of our family this way, but everyone has their quirks. Family’s as a whole certainly do.

I can’t handle this. 15:59 can’t see

16:23 102. Me. I’m probably And Peggy, but I’d rather not condemn myself that way. 106. I remember how much I wanted Tia there when I found a prom dress…goodness gracious Tumblrr. Okay, I’ll switch to desktop 16:28 16:32 114. Okay, I caved. Peter is included in the proposal though! Like, woah! Would it be overkill if she said no? Like LJ’s rejection? She won’t though…just all of these expectations, planning the future around assumptions 116. AHHHHH I CAN’T THAT IS SO NICE PETER AND KITTY 121. That’s so embarrassing. I thought KITTY called her Tree because she was tall… 16:56 I suck. I read the last paragraph. It was perfect. By the last paragraph, I mean the last two pages basically. Mom basically said to postpone making dinner. I will for half an hour to an hour. 7:29 138. LJ…she’s so cute. It doesn’t annoy me at all that she’s pretty. She’s just…she’s a good one to be pretty. 140. Literal same. I’m so there. Draft talk is always like wat. I tried to look it up a few times. I feel like I got caught reading about other countries or something. 140-141. He’s so cute. So young. So full of life and promise. AHHH SAME LARA JEAN 141. He’s so cute and perceptive. 143. I totally had those thoughts. In his twenties that I may never get to meet. 146. I just remembered that cliche thing is what I say. Cliches are cliches for a reason. I hope Chris remembers LJ’s birthday 147. I love it. 148. Will KITTY and Owen….?? 151. HAHAHAHAH WOW FACE MASKS?! 153. Oh, I’ve been wanting to watch that for years! Because…Burdge 156. See, right now I don’t relate to Lara Jean much at all. I would not be this hands on in a wedding during school, I don’t think. I wonder if the Asian heritage subconsciously plays a role for me I wonder if Tia saying asians were weird in my childhood made a difference for me. Lily wasn’t. Tia liked Lily a lot…she also appreciated nicer people. I don’t know. I know I’m more easily jealous of another Asian than others…I just want to break down all of my walls of prejudice 159. I love this exchange “Sure, but I could’ve had that idea on my own, you know. You should at least give me a chance to have ideas.” I pay him on the knee. “Just please don’t forget.” 160. Dang. I forgot they were related. I thought he just volunteered too. Sneaking out and playing in the snow…so sweet. 161. I’m not entirely sure who sent that text. 162. Oh right. I wish we got to see Margot Meeting Stormy. I have been thinking about writing and don’t know how to avoid the boring parts…but JHan just skips them. If their too rudimentary and have little purpose, just don’t include them. They need to contribute to the story. 163. The offer, true offer, is what counts for me too. I can be furious or ready to cry, and someone can say, I’m sorry. I can __ and suddenly I’m all good. Because that’s all I needed. A genuine offer to clean the dish or do this or that, then I’ll do it anyway…because all I was ever really searching for was the offer. - for a second I thought she’d rethink and go to school in Richmond. Probs not though 164. Wow. A year ago. We missed most of LJ’s senior year. I want to know what she did. Mostly spend it with Peter? Go to those parties? 167. WHAT WHAT WHAT?! WAT WAT. WHAAAAAT? I always pictured John Ambrose McClaren as a really smart dude destined for…I don’t know…an Ivy, I guess. Love it. 168. LJ is just too darn relatable sometimes. I swear, she can appeal to such a great audience. “I say it like I don’t remember her name, even though I do, I mean, I just heard him say it two minutes ago.” 19:10 My potato pancakes are a struggle. They were supposed to be a quick easy dinner… 180. I get that. Knowing someone so well… 181. Lip jut out. Awwww 182. I wish I went to after prom…in Shaker I wish I had Tia’s high school life 183. But Chris knew she’d spend time with LJ during her birthday after all 184. AHHH IT IS ALMOST CHEATING USING ALL THESE CUTESY MOVIE CLICHES BUT I LOVE IT 185. Little lines that are vague and obvious, but hit you are why I like Jenny Han. “I guess that’s part of growing up too–saying goodbye to the things you used to love.” Ah, so that’s why she wished to always love Peter as much as she did in that moment. I guess John Green’s thing that Ryan loved and bought was so deep about funerals being for the living is also…like what I love. The cliches authors know teenagers and anyone– I feel like I’ll love this later in life too, will love because they feel that tug of authenticity in the quote. You can connect to it by thinking of a particular feeling or memory even though the line wasn’t explicitly written for you. 190. He doesn’t say anything because he hasn’t broken t to her that they will not have all summer because DI lax or because they only have summer? 191. Leaving high school…damn that would’ve been crazy in Shaker 193. I let the breathing thing slide even though I thought it was funny. Kitty saying let’s not get carried away made me actually laugh though. This book has the most feminine cover and coloring ever 196. This is the first time Chris has been more of a good thing than a bad thing I feel like. I would do this. 197. I know Peter will try to call as your phone is dead. He’ll be all but LJ doesn’t let her phone die! Wat is going on 199. Tell him that. Text him rather than being spiteful! I’m always spiteful though 201. She definitely plays the role of introvert well, but…I don’t know. People can be introverted and just not be as socially anxious I guess. 204. Chris’ big attitude and talk are coming down now…it’s refreshing. 206. Another use of the phrase “it’s cliche for a reason” 208. This is a great page. It gave me chills. A genuine connection between Lara Jean and her future step mom. Differentiating her life from Peter…laughter from lack of sleep. Matriarchy 211. Oh goody! I’d love for them not to go to a party too! 213. As my Dear Evan Hansen would say, we start with stars in our eyes…Peters have deflated a little 214. Wow, Virginia Tech? Aren’t tech schools harder? Is Gen like smart? 216. Lols me as a girlfriend. Literal the shitty parts of me as a girlfriend 217. Why is he a dick? For getting drunk? That’s certainly part of it. Not being completely happy? Fair, but, yes, dickish. He seems to have changed a lot since dating her though. I don’t think she realizes that. 218. Hahaha love him - A truth universially acknowledged that a man with a fortune must be in want of a wife? Or something like that. It’s been a few years. 3? 220. I laughed again at “Do I need to explain to you guys again about Silpat versus parchment paper?” “We got it.” Hahaha her share of cookies 222. Hahah “Hey, I’m built.” 225. HAHAHA THE LONG CON. GOTTA GET PETER ON YOUR SIDE 227. Does Jenny Han also follow Burdge? Or are all of these coincidences (okay, two, Amelie and tread softly because you tread on my dreams) 229. That’s sweet 232. I just realized Jenny Han sneakily maneuvered back to the beach. @TheSummerITurnedPretty 233. Those trying very hard to be relatable lines…not being able to find a hair tie when you need one 234. High school being a time to remember for the rest of your life…. 20:04 Gotta make food. Not feeling reading anymore. 20:28 236. IT can be hard bringing up snooping. It's because he lied. Lies suck 238. Feelingly? -basketball hoop heist? @barneystinson 241. WOAH HOW DID I NEVER GET THAT SHE WENT TO CAMILLA'S SCHOOL? I guess...if it's been two years since this came out, and I read the second one reasonably before Camilla told me I could've forgotten. Still. Bad friend move 243. Eek is right. She's trying 246. Woah. That's something KITTY would say. Ruthless That's an interesting take on why it's better to be in a fight rather than passive aggressive pensiveness 247. KITTY THAT IS SO SWEET! No one would've been able to tell Kitty to do that. That's the cutest thing ever 248. Oh, Peter 250. LJ is so endearing 253. That's so cute. Lara Jean liked Kitty's nose earlier 256. They're both understandably petty. 257. Good ol' John Ambrose McClaren 258. I wish we got to see that talk of LJ being the star of that costume...now that I think about it...he always does let her be the star WAIT WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO THE BEACH? DID IT ALREADY HAPPEN?! THERE IS SO LITTLE BOOK LEFT! I was content at the end of PS I still love you. I so will not be content now. I feel like that has less to do with the books than my state of being 259. Wtf you took your grandmother to karaoke and we didn't get to see that? I feel jypped Oh good. Somehow I knew Beach Week hadn't happened yet. Time just jumps sometimes in these books. 20:53 20:10 262. Oh, Lara Jean, so romantic. I wish I was like that 269. Hahaha John Ambrose McClaren is so cute. What a rabbit 270. JHan is totally trying to make him cute too "still holding the carrot" What the BUT? He was going to her school, then she goes to the school he planned to transfer to? They just have weird, but many similarities. It's why he's so cute. Because she's so cute He's genuinely happy for her doing what he couldn't 274. Just don't be too offended when he doesn't eat it because diet. Also, how can you be so skinny, LJ? 276. LJ is very confident...she's a good role model. Good job, Jenny Han 277. She understands a layer of someone who she loves more than life itself be away 278. He really respects her 21:24 21:28 279. I love him. I love his precautions. I love that he literally jumped away when she said wait Have they ever even been half unclothed? 280. He's so reassuring 285. Woah. PETER OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO RECKLESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN TREACHEROUS. YOU STILL HAVE STARS IN YOUR EYES. YOU ARE SO CUTE 289. It's so hard. It truly is. 290. The house feels small. Rather than big. With her feeling so small That's the most younger sister thing I have ever heard. "Margot and I are on the same level, and you're on the level below us because, you're the youngest." Lara Jean is that bridge. Perks of middle child...though I frequently see the oldest and youngest with stronger relationships because they just don't have friction as much 293. That's nice that Margot noticed. I get not telling her. Tia is great, gives wonderful advice...but sometimes I feel like she doesn't completely listen to me when she has made up her mind...or that she talks down to me if she does listen 294. Pigtails? LJ is childish sometimes 299. One drink? Yeah...I can't do that Ah, yes. The drunk slight cop out 302. I mean, all of that does make sense in his perspective. 303. Wow. What a good moment for Margot and Trina to make amends, or start to, right before the wedding 304. I love that this was her first hang over. I realized this whole book I've been nervous she was going to just let loose at some party. This kind of makes sense 305. Why does Kitty know? 308. These children are all so privileged. To think she could get anything she needs...on the spur 309. Yeah....that's the thing about growing up. Nothing will ever be the same 310. Is it normal to only have one or two friends from high school? I guess so... 311. I just had real flashbacks to too much frosting during OL...asking about f it was homemade. I would've made it. I was talked out of it. If everything went how I thought it would and should....I guess I'll never know if I ever could've 316. I read that as ice cream. I was like interesting for a wedding 317. Ahh my heart. Tears actually formed. He was so scared. She gave him the scrapbook or break up... 320. I love how uncertain that is. Jenny Han knows that. "With all the certainty only a teenage boy can have" 321. Wow. I love it. I love him. He's so imperfect. Why only tell us this now? I was just wondering when she got it back 322. AHHH NOW SHE'S LEAVING TO COLLEGE?! I guess...this is already so subtle and contemporary. The only times it shows are little times of conflict. She showed all of the cutesy in the beginning to convince us all of their love...I feel like I need to reread the first one mow..this is so sad That's totally the point. A chapter ending. I wonder if this was sad for Jenny Han 324. The dream. My dream. Marrying my childhood best friend...that's Jack though. He's crazy. He's a star. Tia says he's gay. Wouldn't put it past him. He's amazing, but I just don't think I will ever feel that way. I mean, I totally did kindergarten and fourth grade, but...he's not my best friend anymore... I forgot so much. I should've reread them all before reading this. I remember he got that brooch or something for her from his mom's store...but don't remember everything. 325. Wow. I know I read it earlier. I read it preemptively like a little brat. This was a really good book. It was different...powerful. The other books were cute. I loved them in that way. The one that got away. Josh. They weren't relatable for me. I loved them. Jenny Han plays the being able to love them, but love Peter more extremely well. I have to say, though I always think this after reading something new that I like...5 stars. Maybe 4.85. I love it. It's so cute. It's not 100% relatable, but it is somewhat, and it's great in ways that it's not relatable. Throwback when it was too perfect, and I was unsure about it. Look how far we've come. That was a perfect ending. I love Jenny Han so much. I love it all. The fact that they're still so close...that they can go home on three day weekends...I ache for that...but...it's good for them. It really is. I went to Barnes and noble for the last time today. Well, the last time here. I sneakily took a picture of Jenny's Q and A in the B&N exclusive version. I felt very...wrong doing it. I looked over my shoulder, quickly did it, then quickly put the book back...I am so bad at being bad. It was just the question of what LJ's wedding song with Peter would be and what her wedding song with JAM would be. Wow. Gotta love those initials. At Last was perfect. They are so good for each other...truly soul mates in another life. Well, he probably is transferring to UNC...no. Peter and LJ though. They can do it. Please? I love that this is where it ends. It feels ended. It's such a good place to end it. They still have stars in their eyes. They never really fought. This will be different. 4 hours though...no...like 3.5...that's so reasonable. They can do it. 22:24 22:25 OKAY AHHHHHHH! I went to read the playlist again (for about the fourth or fifth time, I know. I suck) and it ended with Frank Ocean...because, well, sex. Love it. Sneaky. Okay...I think it's really done now...I will make some of the sweets in the back sometimes. Pour one out for LJ and her sweet tooth and her sweet relationships with her family and Peter. 22:26

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Josh has anyone told you that you're boyfriend material because dang you are so boyfriend material....happy birthday love🎉🎉🎉

Joshua: Hehe I have indeed heard that ;)) Thank you for the birthday wish!!!