#happy blue world order day to those who celebrate

[xpacheat]

ECW: November to Remember - November 16th, 1996

[unmotivatedwrit3r]

Cloudy Christmastime

damian wayne x reader x jonathan kent

(A/N): Before anyone protests, I headcanon the Wayne family as celebrating both Jewish holidays like Yom Kippur and Hanukkah as well as Christmas and Easter because yes, Bruce is ethnically Jewish (though may have done Christmas as well) but Dick/Jason/Tim/Steph would have likely celebrated Christmas. So they do both.

Anyway, this is a christmas gift for @glorified-red and literally the 5th take on this fic bc they first said Hallmark movie, then damijon hallmark movie, then whump. And then it took me three tries to get something I was close to happy with so I hope you enjoy. This ended up being a mix of domestic fluff and h/c.

warnings: sensory overload

wc: ~2600

~~

“Tell me again why Santa doesn’t bring us gifts if he’s real. Like our dads have met him. And he still doesn’t bring us presents,” Jon lamented from the couch, bundled up in four blankets. 

From your spot on the floor by the tree, you looked up, an eyebrow raised in amusement. “Because we’re not kids anymore? And how do you know Santa ever brought us gifts?” 

“Perhaps,” Damian added, passing Jon a cup of hot chocolate. He placed a second cup on the coffee table and lifted one to his lips. “He only brought gifts to people to make a point. I never received any from him as a child but father has gotten many over the years.” 

Jon listed to the side, head landing on Damian’s shoulder. “I think that’s worse.”

For the first time in a while, Jon felt Damian’s huff of laughter more than he heard it. Your small chuckle was similarly inaudible. Jon hated solar flaring. Not only was it a pain to deal with for the day and change—one could argue he got either lucky or really unlucky by solar flaring the morning of Christmas Eve—but it always threw his senses out of whack as they trickled back in. And, with the gray skies of Gotham’s winter, Jon was expecting it to be even weirder than usual. It was worth it though, to him, in order to spend the day itself with his partners. It was enough that the Kent family Christmas Eve was ruined by Lex Luthor. He wasn’t going to let his Christmas day be ruined too. 

“I’m sorry, mi sol,” you offered with a shrug and a smile. Jon met your grin with his own. A full-body shiver wracked his frame. Your gaze turned concerned. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Jon agreed, “Just chilly.” Damian’s arm wrapped further around Jon, pulling their sides flush against each other. Jon maneuvered the blankets away to soak in his warmth. 

“Ameli, we can turn the heat up,” Damian offered. 

“Nope,” Jon argued, nuzzling into Damian’s neck. “This is good.” Damian’s resulting huff of air teased at the hair on the top of Jon’s head. 

“Mi luna?” You asked from the floor. Damian turned to look at you. Jon followed, eyes traveling over the mound of presents arranged under the tree. There was a pile around the back of the tree against the wall for Damian’s family (Jon still needed to give Dick his gift from the Hanukkah celebration a couple weeks ago. The blue dreidel paper was obvious against the sea of brown, red, and green wrapping paper.), and a smaller one for yours. The empty gap left behind after the Kent Christmas was already filled in with a large box Jon was like ninety percent sure was a new easel for Damian. You ordered it, not him, but Jon couldn’t think of anything else on any of your lists that was even close to that size. “Can you hand me that please?” You gestured to a precarious stack on the coffee table. 

Damian acquiesced, passing over a teetering pile of vaguely book-shaped items. Who those were for was anyone’s guess. Jon was grateful Alfred had helped you and him pay for some of the gifts for Damian. Looking at the gift tags, it otherwise would have been horribly uneven. And Damian himself wouldn’t have minded, Jon knew, but you and him would have been upset about it anyway. He deserves the world, your rohi. Damian pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of you, still arranging presents under the tree. He showed it quickly to Jon before texting it to him immediately. 

“This look okay?” You asked, peeking out from behind the tree. Jon looked it over. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly, but he also wasn’t exactly the reigning opinion on artistic presentation. 

“It looks fine, hayati” Damian said, eyes still trained on his phone. You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“You didn't even look.” 

Damian turned to look at you. “Because I knew it looked fine, beloved.” His eyes scanned the presents. “And it does.” 

You shook your head at him, exasperated, before conceding and sitting heavily on the couch. Scooching in, you nearly pressed up against Jon’s other side. 

“Come closer,” He whined, untangling a hand from the blankets to grab yours. “You’re warm.” 

Jon could feel the look exchanged over his head. 

“I’m not that warm,” you argued even as you grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table and arranged the blankets so that you could fit underneath. “You’re just cold.” 

Jon shrugged. The hand that wasn’t holding yours reached underneath Damian’s shirt and he swore, grabbing Jon’s wrist to keep its chill away. Another look passed over Jon’s head. He wondered sometimes if the two of you were aware he knew what you were doing and just didn’t care. Probably. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, amorcito?” You asked. Jon shrugged. 

“It’s cold outside and I’m human but otherwise yeah. I have you two,” he added smugly. Damian’s playful shoulder hit came at the same time as your muttered “sap.” Jon grinned. “So because I’m sick—sort of—I get to pick the movie. And we’re watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” Despite the protests on both sides, the movie was playing before Damian could even get up to turn the lights off. To the side of the couch, the lights on the Christmas tree bathed the room in a soft white glow. 

~

Jon awoke to a cold bed. On a good day, he’d wake with the sun—or whenever it wormed its way through the bedroom’s black out curtains—or to an international emergency. Okay, not that the emergency was good, just that he was feeling good enough to know it was happening. On a bad day, all bets were off. Jon stuck his hand out of the covers, searching blindly for his phone. After a moment of finding nothing but the wood of the end table, the scratchiness of the sheets was unignorable and he gave up, flinging back the covers to get out of bed. Hanging over the side of the dresser was a dark red sweatshirt. Jon grabbed it and tugged it on, rubbing his arms to get the lingering echo of the sheets off his skin. His off kilter super hearing zeroed in on the crooning of Michael Bublé before zooming back out into the general background noise coming from the kitchen. Jon winced, squaring his shoulders. That was a bad sign. But it was Christmas; he’d be fine. 

A quick squint at his phone told Jon that it was just after noon. No wonder the bed was cold. Jon shivered, then grabbed a pair of your fuzzy socks before opening the bedroom door. 

The smell of cinnamon and chocolate coming from the kitchen was pleasant rather than unbearable. Jon let himself breathe it in as he approached quietly. He didn’t even notice you behind him—though that was often true of an average day—before there were arms around his waist and a head on his shoulder. He let himself lean back into the warmth of you. 

“Merry Christmas, mi amor. How are you feeling?” you inquired. Hot breath ghosted across his neck. Jon shrugged. 

“Fine. Excited for today.” He spun around to face you, eyes taking in your christmas pj pants and sweater with a Robin logo. Over your shoulder, Jon could see flashes of blue, likely Damian’s nightwing sweatshirt. “Merry Christmas,” he added, tucking his nose into the spot just underneath your ear for just a moment. No matter what his super senses were like, he took comfort in the smell of the two of you. A hand weaved through his hair, a kiss pressed to the top of his head. Jon pulled back just enough to give you a peck on the lips before being spun around into a kiss from Damian. 

“Merry Christmas, my heart,” Jon muttered, pressing a second lingering kiss to Damian’s jawline. A steady heartbeat pulsed under his fingers, wrapped around Damian’s wrist. 

“Good morning,” Damian said, wrapping an arm around Jon to keep him close. Jon blindly reached out and a second calloused hand found his. A second warm body curled around him. He missed your heartbeats’ song in his ears, but Damian’s pounding steadily under his ear and yours fluttering underneath his fingertips was good enough for right then. “Are you alright?” Damian continued. “It’s late.” His voice was echoey underneath Jon’s ear and Jon flinched instinctively. The two of you reacted immediately, pulling back. 

“Jon?” you asked, voice laced with concern. 

“Yeah,” he managed. “I’m mostly good. About as expected, you know?” Jon offered up a smile. By the looks on your faces, it didn’t do as much reassurance as he’d hoped. “I’m sorry I slept so late.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Damian argued. “There is no reason to.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Jon sighed. 

“How are you feeling about breakfast, mi sol?” You asked, tangling your fingers with his. 

“Sounds good,” Jon agreed. 

~

“Oh yeah I should definitely send Dick a text to thank him. And also say Merry Christmas,” Jon said, flopping down on the couch after breakfast. With his partners looking happy, Christmas music in the background, and a breakfast of vegan pancakes in his stomach, Jon could almost forget about the buzzing under his skin. 

“Tt,” Damian scoffed. “He would have swapped with me anyway. Gordon and Father are both working tonight so it was pointless for him to have the evening off.”

Jon shrugged. “Still, doesn’t hurt to say thanks.” 

“Say hi from me too,” you yelled over the running kitchen sink. After a moment more, the water shut off and Jon released a silent sigh at the absence of an irritating bit of noise. He was lucky the x-ray vision hadn’t started acting up. Not only was that like the antithesis of Christmas presents (his mom kept presents out of the house or in a lead box until morning for that very reason), but it was also a huge pain and the hardest to hide. Screwy touch and hearing was more than enough. Dishware clanked around in the kitchen as Damian sat beside Jon on the couch. 

“No change?” He asked, reaching for a Nightwing mug of cider on the coffee table. 

Jon shrugged. “Nope, nothing yet.” Damian narrowed his eyes and Jon attempted to start coming up with excuses. At the very least, he could probably get Damian to leave it alone until after gifts. Less so if you noticed too and started teaming up on him. 

“Ready for presents?” You asked, sitting down on the other side of Damian. You raised the untouched Superman mug to your lips, eyes scanning over Jon. 

“Yes!” Jon butt in before you could say anything. “Let’s do it.” 

You and Damian exchanged a look. On the floor below, the elevator dinged, releasing a family with a horde of kids. “Okay,” you conceded, standing to grab the first load of presents.

In the apartment directly underneath, the front door squealed open. A load of presents was slammed down on the floor beside him. Three kids squealed “gramma!” in unison. Jon’s hoodie was all of the sudden suffocating him. 

Jon jumped up and yanked the sweatshirt over his head, pawing the sleeves off before yanking his socks off too. He didn’t care where they ended up. His hands went up to press against his ears. Stumbling over his own feet, Jon meandered backwards until his back slammed into a wall and then slid down, knees up and head with ears still covered in between them. Sounds zoomed in and out. All of the sudden, he could hear Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer playing eight floors down, then A Christmas Carol on someone’s TV across the street. Focus! Jon yelled at himself through all the noise. One steady beat came into focus, then another. 

Until there was a soft item brushing his feet, Jon didn’t realize he had company. A steady beat pulsed in his ears, too loud even for its familiarity. He pulled the blanket close. Something plastic nudged his shoulder and Jon grabbed it instinctively, slamming special-made headphones over his ears. The sounds faded down into something manageable. Jon took a deep breath. And then another. He didn’t need to hear to know that the two of you were there. When he reached out tentatively with his sense of smell, the usual wave of cinnamon-vanilla-brown sugar-clove and somethings just the two of you tempered by pine and peppermint was comforting rather than overwhelming. Jon let it wash over him, clutching the soft weighted blanket to his chest. 

When he cracked his eyes open, two blurs blinked into focus as his partners, leaning against the back of the couch and hands linked. Damian’s head rested on your shoulder, one of your hands tangled in his hair. Jon noticed as soon as Damian saw he was up. He almost slammed his head into your chin as he shot up and Jon huffed a laugh.  

“Ameli?” Damian asked. Your eyes locked onto Jon’s. 

“You guys shouldn’t sit on the floor,” Jon responded. “It’s bad for your backs.”

You offered Jon a hand, ignoring his remark completely. Jon’s chest ached. If you weren’t willing to banter, he’d scared you. “How are you feeling?”   

Jon took the hand and stood, adjusting the headphones so they stayed on his head. He tossed the blanket over his shoulder and reached his other hand out towards Damian before tugging the both of you up and towards the couch. 

“I’m okay,” Jon reassured you, sitting down on the couch. “I promise.” When neither of you moved, he tugged you both down on top of him, interrupting the bat-assessment written all over Damian’s face.  

“Promise like this morning?” Damian argued. Jon winced. 

“Okay, yeah maybe I shouldn’t have—”

“Been a self-sacrificial dumbass as if we don’t a) know you and b) want you to talk to us?” You cut in. Jon could read the hurt underneath the anger clear as day. His fingers brushed over two sets of knuckles, one scarred from years of fighting without protective gear, the other dry from the winter air. 

“I know. I just wanted today to be a good day, you know? We never get uninterrupted holidays.” Jon resisted the urge to pull his hands away from yours and curl into himself. The two burning gazes on him were ones of love and concern, though, not judgment. 

“And for some reason you think accommodating you makes the day worse, why?” Damian asked. Jon didn’t have an answer. 

“We love you, Jon. Eres nuestro pareja. We picked ‘partners’ for a reason, yeah?”  You squeezed his hand in yours. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, head dropping to your shoulder. Silence was heavy in the room for a moment. 

“You choose what we do next,” Damian stated, tugging the blacket from its bundled blob to instead cover you and Jon. 

Jon moved from your shoulder to halfway on top of Damian, tugging you on top of him. “You guys are going to squish me in between you while we watch a movie and then we can do presents?” 

You shot him a wicked smile. Jon shrieked as Damian pulled him bodily half on top of him along the couch, cut off when you landed nearly on top of Jon. 

“Good?” You asked. Jon let himself sink into Damian, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Good.”

Damian grabbed the remote. “We’re not watching Elf.”

Jon stuck his tongue out at him.  

[aubadeatelier]

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man!

On 31 May 2004, an amazing journey began with Allen Walker making his way to the European Branch of the Black Order as a new exorcist.

And now, it is 31 May 2024, 20 years of a still on-going journey. A lot has happened and changed and yet, he keeps walking.

Happy Birthday, D. Gray-man! And thank you for everything you've brought to me and so many others!

This post contains the pieces I did for the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. 1 Party Doodle and 2 Redraw Project pages. Please enjoy! To see the whole zine, please access the zine through the link below to the project tumblr!

✦ D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine ✦

Please make sure to take a look at the whole zine! I had the greatest honor to work with more than 100+ amazing artists across the world. It would mean a lot to me and all those who worked on this zine to have our work seen together as one!

(PS. I asked a funny little question in the Party Doodle section of the zine!)

[Beyond this point are my pieces and some fun facts!]

Party Doodle || A Celebration from 35 Years Ago featuring from bottom left, Mana D. Campbell, Nea D. Campbell, ???, Cross Marian, and Timcampy. ✦ I originally made this celebration doodle with the intention of just drawing Nea, ???, and Timcampy. But upon popular demand and the power of friendship (shoutout to Hana Hazel, Kanin, and Sabhamun), I ended up adding Cross Marian and Mana! And honestly, the additions were a great idea and really make the piece feel more lively and fun! (Also we need more Campbell brothers content damn it. I wanna see them happy!) ✦ Also, if any of your are up-to-date at this point, you know Chapter 251 coming out shook so many things including this piece that was already done when it released. But! I think it's fun to keep it as is as a relic of the pre-251 era. (Who knows? Maybe I'll make a fixed version!)

Redraw Project Page 01 || Chapter 04. Page 119. ✦ The first redraw page I received for assignment! I ended up liking the page, because it felt to me an integral establishing page for the series' themes. I may have gotten a little overboard with how I wanted to interpret the page, but I thought originally I would not be doing a second page and thus, wanted to put a lot of effort. In D. Gray-man, Akuma are created when a person makes a deal with the Millennium Earl. More often than not, the person has no idea what this deal entails, only that they can bring their loved one back from the dead if they agree to it. But what happens when the person is aware or knows not to accept the Earl's deal? And we receive a heart-wrenching, but understandable answer. To have the knowledge of the Earl's tricks does not automatically save a person. The Earl preys on the vulnerable. He appears and makes his offer to those in the deepest pits of despair and grief. That is how he got Leo. He was just a kid who lost his mother. He may have known more about the Earl and Akuma, because of his friendship with Jean, but when you are grieving kid-- what do you do when someone promises you they'll bring back your mother who was taken from you so suddenly? It is difficult to say no. ✦ The books that frame the piece are meant to convey this emphasis of knowledge and study-- the days Jean and Leo spent reading through Jean's father's books and notes about the Earl and Akuma with intention to patrol their town and keep people safe. Ultimately, a book page is the last panel, showing a representation of Leo and the Earl at a grave as Leo becomes an example of a person who takes the Earl's deal and whose body is taken by an Akuma. ✦ The blue tones of Jean and the Akuma were on purpose made to contrast the warmer tones of Jean and Leo's days together. ✦ It was crazy getting to draw an Akuma's face. It was a challenge to try and draw kids, but I ended getting through it pretty well. ✦ There are a few silly easter eggs in the open books. I put a small anniversary message in one. And in the other, I tried to sketch Cornelia and the Campbell Estate with the lyrics of the 14th's song. A nod to some content in the later parts of the series.

Redraw Project Page 02 || Chapter 01. Page 38. ✦ Originally, the plan was I only would do 1 redraw page and 1 doodle, but we needed fill-ins and I took a shot at it! ✦ When I found out it was a page from Chapter 1, I was ecstatic! I had originally wanted to do one from the chapter, but they were high in demand which was more than understandable. ✦ Unlike my first redraw page, I decided to be a little more simplistic with the layout. This layout is not too far off from that of the Katsura Hoshino's, but I made a few changes such as certain angles, drawing characters closer to emphasize faces. ✦ I am not the strongest with backgrounds and drawing buildings, but I ended up enjoying the challenge of it all. Thankfully, a lot of other artists in the project tackled the building and referenced the original page, the pages and sketches of the building or interior by other project artists, and the anime to ready myself to tackle it! ✦ The spirals of the Akuma bullet gave me trouble at first, but then I ended up enjoying it as I figured it out. ✦ This page was overall a big joy to play with as it challenged me with backgrounds, certain effects, and word bubbles.

And with that, this concludes the tour of my work on the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. I have so much to say about this series and what it means to me, but I will try not to make this post horridly longer.

D. Gray-man is the series that made me fall in love with storytelling and art. It showed me something that filled an emptiness I felt. It gave me joy and company at a time where I felt unsure who I was and felt like an outcast. My resolution after this project is to continuously grow better at my stories and art. I hope to make something as meaningful to myself and others as D. Gray-man is.

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man! I hope and pray for more wonderful chapters and for there to be a lovely conclusion someday. For now, let us keep walking together!

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Happy Hanukkah-Mas! - A Beth and Alfie Solomons One Shot Story.

They're baaaack! I absolutely adored returning to their world for a little one-off treat, guys, and hope you all love catching up with them again, too. Enjoy :)

Words - 7,478

Warnings - Fluff and smut, lots of it! Minors DNI!

There is much as a mother that I feel my arm in perpetual twist over, my emotions stirred by the large, slate blue eyes of my son, Abe and my daughter, Flora. They truly do know how to get around their father and I with such insufferably effective cuteness. The celebration of Christmas in our Jewish household is just one of those arm twisting, big, cute eye pleading moments that I speak of. 

Although my husband and I are very liberal in our faith, not anywhere as stalwart in our Jewishness as generations gone by (heck, even my beloved bubbe has a tiny Christmas tree and Father Christmas themed decorations!) we do enjoy observing the traditions of Hanukkah, especially passing this onto our children. We light the menorah and recite our blessings before taking to the kitchen and getting into a god-almighty mess while preparing the latkes and jellied doughnuts.  

Let it be known here that Bethany Solomons and deep frying do not exactly go hand in hand.  

Up until their respective ages of five and two, the children seemed perfectly content to revel in our deep frying, dreidel playing, menorah lighting and song singing traditions. That was until these tiny souls began noticing the traditions of their friends slightly differed from ours. Suddenly, there was talk of turkey and tinsel, of baubles and a large, fresh scented tree. Father Christmas was a name that began to be spoken more freely.  

In fact, it was Flora who changed the tides there while scrambling onto her daddy’s lap one evening when she was two, tiny hands fiddling with his beard as she went through her nightly routine of ‘let’s ask daddy as many questions as humanely possible’ where one particularly struck my husband in a direct hit to the heartstrings.  

“Daddy, Father Christmas doesn’t come to our house. Is that because we’re bad children? We’re on the naughty list, aren’t we?” 

To watch him sit there, his eyes glassing as he tried not to allow for his emotions to be so heavily stirred by our youngest was something I could not endure without shoving my nose into a nearby magazine in order to hide my own tears.  

“Nah, my little peach,” he’d eventually offered, after swallowing a lump in his throat he likened to the size of Cyril, our beloved sixty-kilogram bullmastiff. “It’s just that we believe different traditions, innit? You’re only on the naughty list when you’re running around here covered in chocolate and refusing to get in the bath, ain’t ya?” 

He’d then tickled her into submission, or so he’d thought. Flora, just like the man whose lap she was sat upon at the time, is nothing short of persistent in the pursuit of achieving an end goal. After Abe had returned home from his karate class, he too joined in.  

Never let it be said that my offspring cannot work as an effective emotional tag team. Our first Christmas tree was purchased the following afternoon. Cyril duly lifted his leg to it. Alfie was incensed. The children scream laughed. All was well, if not a little soggy.  

Happy Hanukkah-Mas, everyone! 

Taking a pause from typing, Beth reached for her wine, the kitchen quiet and fresh smelling after her efforts in deep cleaning had left everywhere sparkling. It was that time of year again, where the Solomons clan began their dual holiday festivities, the nine days of their Hanukkah coming to a close, ready to pave the way for all things Christmas. 

“No peeing up the tree this year, matey.” she spoke, her hand reaching for the soft crinkles of Cyril’s muzzle, her faithful old companion sniffing her fingers as she offered him fuss. She could barely believe he was twelve, an age almost unheard of for a bullmastiff to reach.  

The giant dog now lived a much more leisurely pace, long walks replaced now by a little trot around the block, the dog returning to lie himself in the middle of the welcome hall and huff about it for a good ten minutes before he’d wander off, usually in search of the children.  

If Cyril’s heart beat for anything other than a good marrow bone from the butchers, it was Abe and Flora. Beth honestly feared for the day they would come to lose him, knowing the devastation that would befall the family to be bereft of their longtime canine companion. He was more than that to them, though.  

Cyril Solomons always was, and always would be their first child. 

“Where’s your dad?” she asked, the dog’s ears pricking as he heaved himself up, ambling out of the kitchen and down to the office, Beth pushing the glass door open.  

“Evening, baby beast.” No, Alfie had never ceased use of the same pet name for her that he’d coined nine years previously, back when they’d first gotten together. “How’s the article going? Nearly done, yeah?” 

She half shrugged with a hum. “About halfway through. I’m bloody knackered, though, so I’ve come to steal you. My tummy is rumbling.” Moving around the desk, she placed her wine down, seating herself in his lap. “What’s with these? These Solomons crinkles you have going on here?” 

Her finger was playfully batted away, her hulking bear of a husband laughing gruffly. “You and your bloody cheek,” he began, kissing her head. “Them lines are the Abe and Flora crinkles these days, them and their fuckin’ demands. Look at this ‘ere, right. She can’t just want the doll you can go to Smyths and buy, can she, your daughter. Nah, gotta want the fuckin’ Rolls bleedin’ Royce of dolls that daddy ‘ere can’t pissing find in stock!” 

He had a penchant for that. When the kids were good, they were their children. When they were causing him mild to moderate strife, they were solely Beth’s.  

Looking at the screen, she shook her head, reaching for the mousse and closing the browser window. “I found it already, it’s on the way from a store in New York. DHL have assured me it’ll arrive by the eighteenth.”  

“Well then why didn’t you fuckin’ tell me, Bethany with the lovely legs? Lovely legs that are gonna catch a right walloping. Sitting here for hours, I’ve been, looking for that fuckin’ doll!” 

“I did!” she exclaimed, slapping his hand as he began laying smacks against her thigh. 

“Fuckin’ lies!” 

Leaning in close, she widened her doe eyes, her nose touching his. “I bloody did! Magda will back me up, she was standing right next to me when I told you.” 

Her playful growl was met by muttering and grumbling. “Moody sod.” 

“Yeah, but you love me, treacle,” he chirped, Beth leaning to kiss his cheek.  

“That I do. Now, come on. I meant it when I said my tummy was rumbling, so you need to emerge.” Picking up her wine, she slid back to her feet, Alfie wheeling his chair closer to the desk once more.  

“I’ve just got one email I need to...” 

“Alfie,” she warned. 

“Five minutes, darlin’. You go order the food. Get us a chicken madras, a keema naan and all the dippy stuff with the poppadom's. Go on, go be a crackin’ wife and order in all the nosh that’ll have me farting like bagpipes for the next day or so.” 

She threw her head back, her laugh loud. “Five minutes, or I deliberately wake Abe and get him to come in and ask you all about where babies come from.” 

“You bloody dare,” he warned, Beth leaning back around the office door. 

“Don’t try me, boo.” Poking her tongue out, she giggled, heading back into the kitchen and taking a seat once more, putting in their order with the Royal Bengal before tapping away a little more of her article. She’d just closed her laptop when Alfie joined her, pulling a bottle of San Pelegrino from the fridge and splashing it into a glass, adding ice while telling her about his working day.  

Since becoming a father, he’d done what nobody expected and actually relinquished a little control over his empire, allowing those he employed to get stuck in with the lion’s share of the day-to-day operations, in order to be present for his children. Losing his own father so young had made him realise just what he’d missed growing up, now he had little ones of his own.  

The kitchen was soon filled with the aromas of India, Beth adding everything to bowls, Alfie hindering her every step of the way, and Cyril hopeful that a few morsels might be dropped upon the floor.  

“It’s nice to be able to have a bowl of samosas out and not have to fight off tiny hands for them,” she mused, picking one up and dunking it into the mint dip.  

“And then only half eating them, storing the fuckin’ things away behind cushions and in shoes an’ all that,” Alfie spoke through a mouthful of poppadom, shaking his head. “Them bloody kids. Wouldn’t have ‘em any other way, though.” 

Neither would she. They were loud and boisterous, but that came with the territory. Seven and four years old meant a perpetual state of noisy. Those noisy states were out of the front door at nine the following morning, both off to their bubbe Solomon’s house for the morning. Beth dropped them with Sarra at just gone half past, leaving her to fight the traffic to head over to Primrose Hill, her breakfast date already there waiting for her.  

“Oh babe!” she cried, opening her arms to Mimi as she rose from the table. “I thought you were bringing the baby? Aww, I was looking forward to a little smush!” 

“No, she barely slept all night, so I’ve left her with Josh and a tonne of expressed milk. Bloody boobs are so sore, and I thought having implants was bad!” Kissing her cheek, Mimi then gestured to the table, a latte waiting for her. “Thought I’d order that in for you. I might be a knackered new mummy, but at least I remembered my erm...” she trailed off, winding her hand around as she thought on the word. “I always want to say my Antoinette, but she was a queen.” 

“Etiquette?” Beth offered, Mimi snapping her fingers. 

“That’s it!” 

Some things never changed.  

“So, how have you been, other than tired with sore boobs? I bloody remember that only too well, Mims,” she spoke, picking up her latte and giving it a cautionary blow before taking her first sip. Ahhh, a double shot. Heaven. How well her beloved Mims knew her.  

“I’ve been alright, you know,” she began, perusing the menu before her. “I mean, a woman can function perfectly well on ten minutes of sleep a night, can’t she?”  

“And if she can’t she gets used to it pretty flipping quick,” Beth quipped, making her decision over breakfast quickly. Pancakes with turkey bacon and eggs. She was famished. “How did your check-up go? Are all the sore bits healing nicely?” 

Both women had suffered quite badly during childbirth, Beth’s experience with Abe something so terrible, she very nearly elected a C-Section for Flora. Her midwife had advised her against such, though, stating a natural birth would be much better when she was fully fit and capable. Flora had been a blessing, thankfully, a speed birth of half an hour in active labour, her little girl out in six pushes.  

Mimi nodded as she sipped her orange juice, setting the tall glass back down. “Everything is healing as it should be, and I should be fine to ride again soon!” She’d kept her beloved horses, Bryn and Sunny, thinking at first that she would put them out on loan for a time to someone with enough of that very commodity to devote to them. That was until her darling friends had stepped in to help, Beth and Kinga appointing themselves as exercisers of Mimi’s four-legged friends.  

Being a much more skilled horsewoman than she had been nine years before upon first meeting Mimi, Bryn and all of his naughtiness was appointed to her, Kinga more novice and being tasked with Sunny’s exercise. They went most days in the afternoon, the people at the stables where they were kept taking on their day-to-day care.  

It was one of Beth’s favourite parts of the day, riding out over the fields after lunch aboard Bryn, or working him over eye wateringly huge fences in the arena, the likes of which she once never thought she’d have the bravery to attempt. 

Mimi had taught her well.  

“Oh, before I forget, give these to Magda before she raises merry hell with me,” Mimi then spoke, picking up a bag from her feet and passing it across to Beth. “She loaned me these for Josh’s office Christmas do. It was such a nice night, made even better for wearing a pair of this season’s Louis Vuitton’s on my feet!” 

Yes, Magda would indeed raise merry hell if any loans from her beloved wardrobe department were not returned promptly. Beth took the bag with a smile, placing it down beside her favourite bag of all time beneath the table, the dark blue Birkin Alfie had bought her all those years ago. She still had to shake her head in wonder sometimes, being a woman of such staggering wealth because of whom she was married to.  

Her world had blended with Alfie’s so effortlessly, it often felt like a dream to her still. There she was, with one of the women he’d once dated, Mimi now a married mother herself and long fully integrated within Beth’s friendship group as well as still being – as Alfie always worded it - ‘the bestest mate a fella could ask for.’ After Josh and her mum, Alfie had been the first she’d called upon finding out she was pregnant with her now eight-week-old daughter, Alissia.  

“How did you cope, being away from Liss for a few hours?” she asked with a smile.  

Mimi looked pained immediately. “I hated it! I missed her so much, and I know she was perfectly fine with Josh’s mum, but it didn’t feel right, not having a little bundle in my arms!”  

She remembered it well with Abe, becoming very emotional on her first night out with Alfie after he’d been born, being left in the care of his godparents, Magda and Dennis. Magda had switched her phone off in the end, Beth had called so incessantly to make sure he was okay. ‘You’ll bloody wake the little fella if you keep on calling me! He's fast asleep on Dennis’s chest, just threw up a load of milk all over the dog an’ all. Having a wail of time, he is!’ she remembered being assured.  

Moving their discussion on, both pledging they would never be the kind of women who couldn’t form conversation over anything other than their children, they sat and spoke about all sorts while catching up, Beth’s most recent articles, Mimi’s tentative plans to begin her own accounting business so that she could circumvent a return to office life and instead, work from home and be with her baby. With Josh earning so well now within the publishing world, her return to work truly didn’t need to be expedited quickly either.  

After breakfast, they made time to pamper themselves with a little salon treat, Mimi having a much-needed deep cleansing facial while Beth opted for a massage, wanting to be nice and relaxed for what would likely turn into a chaotic afternoon. It was Christmas tree shopping day, meaning that her children would go from their usual volume of eight right up to eight thousand, such was their excitement at the fairly new tradition.  

“Oi! Abraham Solomons, I see you back there, winding your sister up!” Alfie shouted, looking in the rearview mirror of his Range Rover two hours later, en route from his mother’s house to the garden centre.  

“She’s kicking me, dad!” 

“She can’t even reach you over there, mate. Nah, don’t you tell me no fibs, or this car gets turned around, right?”  

“But dad!” 

“Enough, my son!” 

Abe shrank down in his car seat with a scowl that was a hundred percent his father, Beth turning to give him a warning look that eventually turned into a smile. The Solomons crinkles were very much a hereditary thing. “Be a good boy.” she cooed, grabbing his foot and giving it a shake. Flora was asleep after ten minutes, Abe entertaining himself by narrating a commentary about the people they drove past in the streets, pulling up outside Birchen Grove Garden Centre after twenty minutes.  

“Come on, Flora snorer,” Alfie chimed, rousing his sleepy youngest. The noises that came from that child while she was sleeping. Beth had nearly haemorrhaged from laughter when he’d likened the sounds to ‘that geezer from the Police Academy films’ back when she was a baby. “Come on, my little peach. Let’s look lively, yeah?” 

“No daddy, I want naps!” she protested, Beth being dragged to examine a display of Christmas wreaths by a much spritelier Abe. 

“Child, you’d sleep your life away if we left ya to it. Come on, daddy’ll play pack horse and carry ya.”  

“Okay.” Immediately she reached for him, beaming as she buried her face against his neck. He gave it all of three minutes, the shiny bright of the garden centre’s Christmas displays delighting her eyes so much, she was scrambling to the floor and running off with her brother.  

“Breakage expenditures guesstimate?” Beth quipped, raising an eyebrow as they ran for a display in excited frenzy.  

“Bloody zero!” he bellowed, making a lady walking past him jump. “Go on, get over there and round up ya kids, duchess. I’ll go sort the tree.”  

She rolled her eyes. “Always my kids when they’re being disruptive.” She strode off, not before Alfie aimed a perfect smack to her bum, calling her little ones away from the glass baubles and trinkets, grabbing a basket on her way. She sensed more ornaments would be chosen, and she wasn’t wrong. At least they kept on brand with the theme of green, blue and silver, though.  

“Abraham!” Alfie barked, appearing with a Christmas tree over his shoulder a short time later, finding his son meddling with the nativity display. “Put the false prophet down, son.”  

Beth cringed, shielding her eyes for a moment beneath her hand as her husband drew disapproving stares, Abe unceremoniously returning to the baby Jesus doll back into the manger with all the passion of LeBron James performing a slam dunk.  

“Do you have to be so vociferously Jewish in your denouncing of the Christian lord and saviour?” she hissed, Alfie beaming. 

“Yeah, darlin’,” he laughed, scratching his beard with his free hand. “I bloody do!” 

Herding the children in the direction of the sales desk, she offered appeasing smiles to those offended by her husband and his boom. “Oy fucking vey.” 

Once the tree had been affixed to the roof, the children and purchases packed away, the family Solomons headed to lunch, the little ones making their demands known for a trip to Five Guys. Burgers often worked very well in placation, especially since Beth had designs on dragging her family to do a little bit of shopping afterwards. Kids with full tummies were often slowed down a tad by the weight of their meal.  

While Alfie was having his ear and wallet bended by two very enthusiastic children at the Hotel Chocolat shop, Beth moved down through the shopping mall a little, coming to a small nostalgia store. Since celebrating Christmas was mostly for the children’s benefit, she and Alfie didn’t exchange gifts for one another, but what she saw in the window swiftly negated that.  

“I’ll take them both, please.” she spoke to the sales assistant, hardly able to keep her giggles in as she watched him retrieve the two Ren and Stimpy plush toys from the window display. She would never forget how hard she had laughed all those years ago, when she and Alfie had gotten stoned together one evening, back when the lines between journalist and subject were becoming blurred.  

“Do you mean Ren, as in Ren and Stimpy?” 

“Yeah, the little angry weasel, or whatever he was.” 

The little angry weasel. The memory still brought her the same feelings of hilarity as they’d shared out in the garden of their home, when they were just beginning to fall for one another. She remembered it well, how she’d sat there with him, smoking weed while inwardly lamenting how unfair it was, to have met her perfect person, but with a very imperfect set of terms and conditions that went hand in hand with dating him.  

She couldn’t imagine her life now, should Alfie not have changed his mind. It often made her feel a pit in her stomach, if she thought on it for too long, being driven out of his life in that Uber, Alfie remaining with someone as deadly as Amira had proved herself to eventually be. Thankfully, the unhinged woman who had almost killed her remained languishing within a prison cell to that day.  

Yes, Beth kept tabs on her, just in case she had qualified for parole ahead of the recommended ten years post-sentencing. She couldn’t not now she was a mother, something within not trusting that her long custodial sentence would change her feelings towards her; or pose a risk to the safety of her children upon her release.  

Shaking the less warming thoughts of their past from her mind, she paid for her purchase and left the shop, popping into the Elemis store quickly to repurchase her skincare goodies, before she was met by her husband and two chocolate wielding children.  

The drive home was uneventful, the kids once again on excited mode as soon as they stepped foot into the house, hurling themselves at the many boxes Beth had brought up from the wine cellar the night before containing the Christmas decorations. With the tree placed into the stand, protective netting cut and two shrieking children armed with ornaments, Alfie stood back and watched the scene for a few moments, grinning adoringly at his little family.  

“Let me go and get a few work things done so I ain’t worrying about ‘em all weekend,” he spoke, giving her a little nod. “I’ll fetch you a Merlot on me way back, duchess.” She turned to blow him a kiss before he left the lounge, his grin still firmly in place as he headed down to the office, playing catch up on a few pressing demands on his time for half an hour. 

He then headed to the kitchen, preparing himself a coffee and sorting Cyril’s dinner once he got there. 4:47pm on a Saturday. That time nine years ago would usually mean the house was full of the hustle and bustle of various women getting ready, him returning from a leisurely dog walk and doing a quick bit of business prior to taking his three girlfriends’ out to somewhere fancy. 

How things had changed, and all for the better. 

On that particular Saturday evening, they were playing gracious hosts to Magda and Dennis, their friends coming over for dinner in a few hours, Alfie lifting the lid on the crockpot and giving the beef Bourguignon that had been slow cooking all day a good stir. Nobody cooked like his mother, but bloody hell, Beth gave her a run for her money.  

Furnished with a coffee, he took the large glass of wine through, handing it to his wife with a kiss. “You’ve done a cracking job with that, as usual.” Nodding toward the Christmas tree, he smiled, Beth leaning back into his embrace as Abe flicked the socket, all the warm white lights twinkling into glittered life.  

He might have complained, but beneath the layers of outward distain, he secretly loved Christmas just as much as he did Hanukkah. The joy it brought to his children was immeasurable, and for them, he would move the earth. Putting up a tree, buying gifts and having a nice turkey roast were small by comparison.  

After the decorations had been carefully laid out, Beth placing winter spice wax melts into the burners dotted around the home and running the vacuum around, the kids made their demands for dinner, Alfie sorting them with their request for fish fingers while Beth went to put the clean laundry away and run herself a bath.  

By the time she was done, she refilled the tub for the children, drying her hair while Alfie put himself on bathtime duty.  

“Daddy, look! You’re Father Christmas now!” Flora chirped, giggling as she covered his beard in a barrage of bubbles from the tub.  

“Nah, I ain’t! I’m not that old, and me belly ain’t that big either!”  

She was quick in her cheekily delivered comeback. “Yeah, it is.” 

“Oi!” he growled, picking up the small bucket bath toy and emptying it over her head. “Less of that, or I’m phoning Father Christmas and telling him not to drop by here on Christmas Eve, right?” 

Flora was aghast, Abe tittering to himself. “You wouldn’t, daddy!” 

“Yeah?” he spoke, reaching for the kid’s shampoo. “I do a hundred sit ups a day to make sure I ain’t got no Father Christmas belly, so you’ll cast your aspersions elsewhere, you hear me?”  

“Daddy, daddy,” she began, Alfie beginning to lather her hair. “Are aspersions what mummy makes with the cheese and butter?” 

He and Beth snorted with laughter immediately. “No, little babe. That’s asparagus.” 

“Oh!”  

“Blimey, she’s Mims mark two.” Beth laughed, shaking her head as she finished drying her hair. Once bath fresh and towel swathed, the children were dried and dressed in their pyjamas, both gladly going to bed with little protest. This left the couple with approximately ten minutes to get changed, Alfie sauntering around their ensuite naked as the day he was born, hampering Beth’s progress with her makeup.  

“Got time for a quickie?” 

She scoffed, loading her blusher brush and giving it a little tap. “Darling, with you there’s no such thing. Besides, they’ll be here in less than five minutes, and I’ve got to get the starter in the oven.” Turning around, she sighed painedly, looking down to see a certain part of her husband pointing right at her. “Later. Promise.”  

Giving his cock a good squeeze, she evoked his rumbling groan, delighting his neck with a little nibble before heading into the walk in, pulling on her underwear, grey flared trousers and a simple cropped white sweater. She then remembered her meal choice and changed it for black. There was no way she fancied trying to get Bourguignon sauce out of pale cashmere, she thought, racing when she heard the doorbell chime. 

Clipping her gold hoop earrings in, she was just alighting the stairs when the bell sounded for a second time, Beth jogging down the remainder and jumping over a snoozing Cyril.  

“Where you bloody been?” Magda charged, kissing her cheek. “Shagging, were ya?” 

“Almost,” she winked, reaching to kiss Dennis and take the bottle of Bollinger he carried with him with thanks.  

“Sold that Aston Martin this morning, so I thought we’d celebrate, love,” he spoke, Beth congratulating him as she swung the door shut behind them, Cyril heaving himself up to welcome their guests. “Hello, old lad. Claus sends his regards.”  

Out of their four rottweilers, Claus was the only one who remained, just turned nine and much like Cyril, a lot slower on his feet. It didn’t stop him from showing their two newer dogs who was boss, though, the couple switching from their preferred breed when two beautiful Staffordshire bull terriers had come up for adoption at Battersea Dog’s Home. Magda had triumphed in bending Dennis’s ear about it until he’d finally relented, bringing home Marley and Karma almost two years ago.  

“Where’s me kids?” the lady herself cried, noticing the lounge empty of small people. 

“We put ‘em to bed, or if they’d seen their auntie there’s no way we’d ever have got them to go willingly,” Alfie spoke, opening his arms as he entered the lounge. “How are ya, Mags? Lookin’ gorgeous as ever.”  

“They’re half the flippin’ reason I came!” she joked, kissing his cheek. “And thanks, you nearly had me here in joggers and a t shirt. Been up to my fucking eyes with it all day, I have. Inventory. Beth! Has our Mimi brought them bloody shoes back, or have I got to go up Primrose Hill and lynch the soppy mare for ‘em? Had to include ‘em on the list without ‘em actually being there to save me flippin’ hide!” 

She breathed a sigh of relief when her bestie lifted the bag from behind the sofa, pointing to it. “Come on, come tell me all about your wardrobe woes while I get this champagne on ice.” 

Magda did not disappoint. The inventory of the wardrobe department was a huge undertaking, Magda spending the four days it took before everything was cleared ready for the new season’s attire to fill her sacred space catalogued and cleared out, the items heading back to their respective fashion houses.  

“So I’m there, right, and I’m yelling at the dopey cow that two C’s mean Chanel and two G’s mean Gucci, and if she can’t work that out then why the fuck is she trying to carve out a career in fashion in the first flippin’ place! Told her to go get me bloody coffee and have a think about it while she was gone. Honestly, these flamin’ bloody bastard people they send me to train!”  

Some things truly never did change. Magda had not softened at all, and Beth still found much entertainment in her various tirades against the newcomers to ELLE magazine. “And you wanna know the best part? Only fucking walks past Ralph Lauren during his visit and asks who he is!” 

Beth was aghast. “You’re bloody joking me!” 

“Babe, I nearly fell through the fucking floor!” Taking the champagne handed to her with thanks, she toasted her, pulling her cigarettes from her bag. “Just going for a quick smoke, back in a flash.”  

They had a truly lovely evening together, all discussing their impending break out to Santorini to escape the cold grey that was a winter in London, heading over for a week the day after Boxing Day, wanting to see in the New Year in the sunshine at Beth and Alfie’s luxurious villa.  

“I’ll still never forgive you, mate. Stoned and naked, chasing me down, you twat,” Dennis remarked, remembering back to the first time he and Magda had visited the island to stay within Alfie’s abode, the man himself roaring with laughter at the memory. God, it felt like it had been yesterday, yet nine long, fun filled years had passed in the time between.  

“At least you didn’t have him rubbing his cock all over your leg!” Magda snorted, Alfie winking. 

“Don’t pretend you didn’t bloody love it, Mags!” She pulled a kissy face at him, lifting her wine glass and taking a big gulp, washing down the remainer of her food. Beth truly had done a splendid job with everything.  

The pair stayed for coffee before heading home, Beth loading the dishwasher while humming to music playing on her phone, the feel of Alfie’s hands rubbing over her bum signalling his arrival in the kitchen.  

“Right, now it’s just us and you’ve got the dishes all seen to, it’s someone else’s turn for a bloody good seeing to. Know what I mean, treacle?”  

Oh, how she did.  

She only just about had the chance to add a tablet into the slot and kick the door shut before she was thrown over his shoulder, squealing as he smacked her bum with every step that took them up to their bedroom.  

They tumbled into a kiss, greedy, sinful, longing. All that they had once been hadn’t been diminished by marriage, children or time, their fires still burning as brightly as ever for one another. Making short work of their undress, they hit the bed in a tangle of limbs, Alfie quickly extracting himself to go and flick the lock on the bedroom door, save another embarrassed explanation to Abe over what they were doing.  

“Were you and mum wrestling?” the little lad had inquired, after his parents had hastily dressed upon the morning they’d been caught at it, back when he was five. 

Alfie had never cringed so hard in all his life. “Somat like that, my son.” It had been down to Beth to tentatively explain the birds and the bees, Alfie making himself scarce at speed. 

With any entry from small people prevented, he returned to the bed, grabbing Beth’s legs and lying himself between them, his mouth returning to hers with a hungry grunt. The noise had sparks fluttering through her core, the sound of her husband stirred by passion causing tingles to spark, the scent of her arousal intoxicating to him, his hand sliding down her body to cup at her. She gasped, biting his lower lip before their tongues danced wickedly again, a thick finger swiping at her folds, feeling her petals, the heat of her magmatic against him as he explored.   

“Been wanting this all fuckin’ evening, baby beast.” he panted, mouth slipping to her neck, pressing sumptuous, full-lipped kisses that made her shiver like a summer rose touched by the first chill of autumnal frost. 

A sob welled in her throat, pouring from her like wine as that thick digit pushed within, her glistening walls hugging upon it, eyes a burn of blue fire, body keening against his. God, how she still craved him with such unbridled hunger, their connection every inch as magmatic as it had ever been. She rocked against his hand, greedy for more, a second finger joining the first as he held her neck and returned his lips to hers, kissing her with unmatched thirst. 

He was rigid as iron against her hip, her hands smoothing over tattooed flesh, his muscles cording beneath her touch. She grasped him, pulling upward on his cock, sending a ripple through him that caused his chest to jolt. There was no touch more perfect than that of his wife. He breathed raggedly against the swirl of her tongue, head dipping, teeth sharp at her nipples in turn, fingers curling within her soaking cunt to rake exactly where she needed them to.  

She gasped words of longing, Alfie’s mouth descending in a path of loving, heated kisses, the taste of her skin like sweet berries upon his tongue, every touch a constellation laid over her pale curves, igniting her lust to burn like a forest fire. 

Her sex called to him like a siren through a dark, misty night, polarizing, screaming to him, his mouth descending to feast upon her. Closing his full lips around her glistening folds, he sucked upon her hungrily, the elixir of her pouring into his mouth as he tasted her, lost himself to her, felt himself burn to hear the aroused cadence of his beautiful wife.   

She tasted like sharp honey, womanly nectar seeping onto his tongue as he lapped at her in greed, craving more as he buried his mouth against her, her pale legs virtually knotting themselves around his head. Her wail filled the room in soft song, and the sound burned the edges of his very marrow, his heart skipping beats. 

Her hips rucked against his face, a rush of heat evoked by his tongue tracing never ending circles at her clit making her glow, the pleasure biting and throbbing, his hands roaming her all over. She felt besieged by all he bestowed upon her, the touch familiar but never boring. It never was with Alfie. Monotony was not a word heard of within their bedroom. 

Driving his tongue harder against her potent bundle, feeling the little bud beginning to quake under the unrelenting licks, he watched her, her body quivering as he caused a caustic rush. Glimmers began to skitter through her as he brought her to the brink of it, Beth teetering as he paused in tease, gently blowing upon her clit before sucking once again.  

She came apart with a feral cry, her thighs rigid, panting as her release washed over her in ceaseless waves. His lips tended a diligent path back to her mouth, cock daggering into her trembling centre, a rumbled gasp floating from his mouth to hers as he felt her walls fluttering around his girth.   

He stretched and filled her, hands weaving through the long dark of her hair, Beth moaning against each sweet kiss offered, tasting herself upon his mouth. The very flesh and blood of him drew out the primal need within her to give him everything and take what he so willingly poured into her. 

Their intense love and lust for one another collided in perfect alchemy, her slippery walls flexing around him as she glossed the thick cock splitting her wide, her wails like celestial music drifting into his mind as she wrapped her beautiful legs around him. Pushing into his chest, she turned him, Alfie hitting the bed with a thud and a chuckle.  

“Oh, so the duchess wants to be in charge for a bit, ay?”  

She grinned, leaning to him, offering kisses steeped in smoking honey. “Well, if there’s one person you relinquish control for.” 

She began to move against him with tantalising allure, her hips circling as she bore down on his length, little pricks of pleasure melting down her spine. It took diligence, but he was soon a mess beneath her, sweat streaking his tattooed flesh, his cock throbbing within the clench of her walls. Her movements became more focused, wanting to send him reeling into the blinding eclipse of pleasure, feel his enormity crest beneath her.   

The soaking clench of her cunt fluttered strongly around him, the pressure perfect as he felt it crackle furiously before the fire ripped through him completely. With his cock pulsing, he filled her of all which she milked from him, his head thudding back against the bed, gritted teeth finally relaxing as he swam in ecstasy.  

His soul floated somewhere above him, rendered a shaking wreck by her, colours illuminating behind his closed eyelids, everything fluid as the waves continued to wash through him, his heart thundering. She gentled her motions, coming to a stop, her walls flexing around him, but not in the same way as he knew would have had she reached the same cataclysmic finish as he, and for that, he would make much amends. 

They lay stroking one another, chattering, laughing as the night hours drew out. He needed a little more recovery time, now he’d hit his mid-forties, but once that was attained... 

Beth shrieked loudly as her back hit the bedroom wall, glad the children’s bedrooms were a fair enough distance for her yelp not to wake them, laughing excitedly. His mouth covered hers, her legs firm in their hug around his waist as his hands glided over her sweat slicked hair, hips beginning to drive forth into her burning centre. 

She wailed at the fever-hot intrusion of him, merciless in his delivery, fucked hard and fast against the wall coated in luxury paint. His groans spilled onto her tongue, swirling with his, her moans arrowing into the epicentre of his lust for her as he drove into her like a piston. 

Her elegant, dark red nails clawed at his back, marking him, the sting both sharp and sweet as he persisted in frantically building her up to inferno. For him, she would burn to her very bones and back. He’d never accepted any less. 

Alfie never would either. 

Her cries of abandon filled the air as he slowed his rhythm, backing off from a frenzied, merciless pounding of her cunt to a slow, purposeful movement, dragging every girthy inch of his cock in a sumptuously slow glide against her twitching walls.  

Spearing her again hard, he reached her hilt and shuddered with overwhelming desire, arms snaking beneath her trembling thighs to spread her wider, allowing him to bottom out deeper, filling her to the very summit of her cunt. He then slowed, everything potently drawn out, the tempest swirling slowly, but by no means less brutally.  

He was soaked in her slick, her walls hugging him snugly as he withdrew slowly once again, his cock glistening in the low light. It was almost too much to withstand for him, how hot she smouldered all over, but nowhere more so than her cunt. She was like magma around him, without the pain of an unhealable burn.   

Alternating, he drove into her hard again, balls smacking against her with a lewd slap as he began to fuck her frenziedly, Beth demanding he go harder, her nails once again clawing like a feral feline as she felt her ascension flood her body. Sparks skittered through her, her release the full moon rising over his dark horizon as she came apart for him with maddening intensity.   

He pounded her voraciously, giving her no time to recover from his afflictions, fucking her with consuming vigour. Her aroused cries grew louder, her voice breaking with fervour, each thrust the ignition for lightning to begin darting up her spine once more.    

“That’s it, baby. Come again for me.” He growled low in her ear, tongue brushing her throat and his hand fisting her clammy hair to yank her head back, the howl of release reverberating through his ear as his teeth implanted themselves into her shoulder, the pain adding to the overwhelming pleasure.    

Little tremors wracked his cock as he slowed again, wanting to experience those pleasurable twinges as intensely as possible. Re-establishing the surging pace, he let go of her hair and gripped her shoulders, forcing her to take the full, unyielding brunt of every acerbically delivered thrust.    

His groans were as low as rolling thunder, chasing the next release he knew she had for him. They were slick with sweat, bodies simmering, ready and willing to boil for one another again, the embers of their fuck growing, glowing, the fire roaring through them as he felt himself spill into the viscid clutch of her cunt as she shook hard through her own release.   

They swam in bliss together, alone in the bright light of orgasmic abandon, just him and her entwined, the rest of the world falling away. The sound of her soft exclamations through each laboured gasp brought him back from it, looking at her adoringly.  

“My Bethany. Still a little wild’un, ain’t ya, darlin?” 

Trying to catch her breath, she left out a comic huff, kissing the tip of his nose as he chuckled. “Always am for you, boo.” 

He carried her to the ensuite, both taking a quick, refreshing shower to cleanse the sweat which had beaded them, Beth pulling on a clean nightie and Alfie his pyjama bottoms, unlocking the door on the way back to the bed. Gone were the days of enjoying sleeping with nothing other than each other wrapped around their nakedness, now that they usually had early morning visitors to their bed.  

Whistle, beep, snore, grizzle, whistle, snore. Yes, they could only be the sounds of one person that awoke Alfie at 5:52am the following morning, pulling back the duvet to see Flora snuggled up beside him.  

“Ahh, ‘ello, Officer Jones,” he spoke, stroking her messy hair, Beth snorting with laughter at his side. 

“We have to let them watch those films at some point, they’ll love them,” she spoke, referring to the Police Academy films, one of the characters who of course her daughter seemed to take after in the sound effects department.  

“Yeah, when they’re a bit older,” he agreed, pulling back the duvet to see Abe snuggled in beside his mother. “Ahh, the other one found his way in too. Like homing beacons, innit?” 

Just then, the door was shunted open, their furry child ambling in and jumping up onto the foot of the bed, the family complete. Flora stirred, rubbing her eyes and smiling widely. “Cyril.” she croaked, crawling from under the covers, her fleecy security blanket within her grasp. Plonking herself down next to the gargantuan dog, she covered them both with the swathe of soft, grey fleece, kissing his head and wrapping her arms around his neck.  

“I suppose you’re going to get up and workout, hmm?” Beth asked, Alfie turning over and wrapping her in his arms, reaching to gently stroke Abe’s head.  

“Nah, love. I’m happy exactly where I am.” 

That went for all five of them. 

The End.  

[cevansbrat0007]

I'm obsessed with this series. I'm such a sucker for love that's given often and shown so freely. Andy and Reader are each other's world. I feel like they're the type of (one day) elderly couple who if one passes, the other is following right behind in a few days to months.

I can't wait to one day read a little drabble about them when they're old and retired, maybe having their kids and grandkids over for christmas and their kids' POV watching Andy and Reader sway and canoodle under a mistletoe.

At Last...

Summary: True love stories never end...

Warning: the following answer contains talk of death as well as celebrations of love and life. Read at your own risk. Takes place in my ongoing Growing Pains Series. __

Thank you. It makes me so happy that you've fallen in love with Growing Pains as well as Andy and Reader's love story. Those two are so incredibly and irrevocably devoted to one another - they really are each other's entire world.

If I'm being honest, I have thought about what the end of their time on this planet would look like. And Baby Girl always outlives Andy. Not just because she's a few years younger than him, but because there is just no other way.

He could never live without her. Not even for a month, or a couple of days. So, when the time comes and life finds him on his deathbed, they make a plan.

They're both such stubborn people, you know? So damned headstrong even up until the very end. Andrew Barber doesn't want to go.

Not yet.

But while his spirit remains young, his body is old. After all, fighting your way into your nineties is no easy feat. But he's also got four children right here in this realm to take care of, and an errant wife to look after who is just as much of a brat as she's always been.

And the doctors, well, they don't understand how he's made it so long. From everything indicated on his chart, he should've left this world days ago. But somehow Andrew Barber continues to defy the odds.

That stubborn ass ogre.

But he's also in pain. Even as he's fighting, refusing to give in. However, it's not sustainable. And Reader knows that her Big Man needs to rest. She spends every day by his bedside, rarely leaving for more than a few minutes at a time. It's been a few days since she's been able to catch a glimpse of his beautiful blue eyes, every once in a while, she's treated to a gentle squeeze of her hand.

Baby Girl knows her husband better than any other person on the planet. She knows that in order to leave her behind, even for just a little bit, she has to give him a purpose. So she crawls into bed with him, bad hip and all, and tells him her plan.

It's just between them - this task that she gives him.

She tells him to go on ahead and get their home ready - their dream home. And start decorating it the way he knows she'll like. She even promises not to get mad if the color schemes aren't quite right, because she'll just fix it all when she gets there.

Simple as that.

And while he's taking care of the house, the next thing she wants him to do is find Jacob. Wherever he is. Because she expects him to be at the dinner table sharing a meal with them for her first night in their new home.

And in return for doing all of that, she'll handle everything else with BiBi, KitCat, RoRo, and A.J. and all of their precious grandbabies. She swears that she will make sure that every single little detail is taken care of, and when it's all done...

She'll come find him. And when she does, they'll share a dance in their kitchen to the tune of their favorite song - At Last by Etta James. Baby Girl goes on to assure him that it will be the first of many.

Some time later that night, her sweet Andy Bear takes her up on her offer. But not before opening his eyes one last time to see her sleeping in the chair at his bedside. Now that makes him crack a smile.

Because in the last dream he had he could've sworn he told her fine ass to get to bed. A real bed. Not a chair.

His sweet, beautiful girl never fucking listens.

Reader knows when he leaves. She later describes it to their children as feeling his lips brush her skin, right behind her ear. His favorite place to kiss her.

She and the kids keep the actual ceremony small, but then they throw a party - a celebration of Andy's life. And after that, Reader spends the next two years making sure everything is in order.

Just like she promised.

Andy comes to her in her dreams every now and again. And in those dreams he always looks like he did when they first met - her handsome man.

And when it's finally her time, Reader passes on surrounded by their babies. But she tells them not to worry, because their father has been sitting by her bedside for the last few days. She knows they can't see him...

But she swears he's right there. And he's brought along Jacob. She tells her sweet babies that she's finally ready to join the love of her life. They even share a little laugh when she tells them how their father keeps pestering her all because she owes him a dance.

And when she takes her last breath, the sweet sound of Etta James is playing softly in the background. Bianca and her siblings sit there quietly for a few minutes after her passing holding hands and reveling in the fact that they know their Mama went home.

She's finally back in the arms of the man that she loves. They have no doubt that their Mama and Daddy are finally sharing that dance. And wouldn't you know it...

Somewhere in the great beyond, they were right. Their Mama made it home at last. And she left the light on for them too. Just like she told them she would.

[dukemeropide]

Fading in Time

2024 Birthday drabble | gifts received from @huntersoath, @iustitians, @fanfaire, @dellarosula

(Wriothesley character story spoilers)

Wriothesley could count the number of birthdays he’d celebrated on one hand. The very concept of them had become, by now, the stuff of fantasy, consigned to the place in his memories occupied by fables spoken by ordinary animals and humans that could fly all on their own. In other words, something for innocent-minded children with the kinds of well-adjusted families that only existed in fiction. He had been that, once.

For a long while, it had been hard for him to reconcile the happiness and love he knew conceptually to be a part of celebrating one’s birthday with what he had witnessed to be little different than throwing a party for a lamb set for slaughter the very next day. Three of his siblings had disappeared before he realized the truth, but he had eyes, and he had ears, so he denied himself the excuse of age. He should have known, even as young as he was. 

Cake tasted like dirt from that day onward. His own birthdays passed in hazes of fury and grief. It had been someone’s birthday when he laid on the floor of his parents’ manor, drenched in their blood, choking on his own. That had been the last one, he’d made sure of it. And it was, for a while.

The Fortress of Meropide had hammered him down into an insignificant number in the years that followed, but he’d come to enjoy the anonymity. The fools who celebrated their birthdays down here might as well have put a sign up asking to be robbed, or beaten up, or both. Wriothesley had taken advantage of his fair share of fools. It was either that, or risk going hungry in the dog-eat-dog world under the sea. It was their own faults, he reasoned, and pretended like it wasn’t the resentment that festered just skin-deep during those first few years. Even so, the Head Nurse always had something for him on the same day every year, usually little more valuable than a piece of buttered toast, so that Wriothesley didn’t catch on until he’d been conditioned to expect it.

One year, as he sat on a cot in the empty infirmary while Sigewinne, humming a little song, poured peppermint tea into a nondescript cup, he realized just how talented the Fortress’ Head Nurse was.

Birthdays became easier to stomach after that, although he was still a prisoner of no importance until the day he scared the previous administrator from his post. Rumors followed the fearsome Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, among which was a distaste for birthdays, and yet he’d find his office collecting little trinkets, wrapped boxes, desserts, and a dozen or so hand-drawn stickers every year from then on.

There is far more clutter this year, even if “clutter” might be too harsh a word for the gifts and letters carefully delivered to his desk. The Duke has tried to clear space to work, to no avail, so he stands over the spread with a look that can be described as none other than fond exasperation. Little blue, pink, and yellow stickers speckle the tall back of his chair, and a shark sits on his shoulder. He’s left them all for the occasion, because he knows it’s futile to remove them today. More will soon take their place.

Where to start, he thinks, and his eyes land on a neat, no-nonsense signature he recognizes at once. Clorinde knows his preferences well by now, for how often they trade bets over life’s trivialities. The box and the thoughtful letter accompanying it showcase the champion duelist’s pragmatism, but it’s the new gloves that capture Wriothesley’s attention. He lifts one from the box to try, and it fits perfectly. She’d always had a good eye, but it seemed she knew him even better than he thought. With a soft laugh, he carefully returns the glove to its pair. A duel would be in order if he wanted to break them in, so he makes a note to invite her to the Pankration ring next time he sees her.

Alongside this box is a smaller one in beautiful wrapping, topped with a letter signed unmistakably by the Iudex’s precise hand, with the Iudex’s characteristic apologies. Wriothesley reads through it with an amused smile and then with the shake of his head, sets it aside to open the gift he knows deserves no such humble preamble. The tea within is wholly new to his collection, which lacks much of anything from Natlan, and when he opens the lid, out rolls the scent of bonfires and warm spices. It’s no legal codex, certainly, but it's at least something more practical. 

Wriothesley thinks he might prepare himself a cup now and contemplate the rest of his cleaning project, but the massive iron doors down below suddenly rumble open.

”Another delivery for you, Your Grace,” calls the courier. “From Lady Furina.”

”Bring it up,” he directs, studying his desk like one might a puzzle. Where to fit a new box…

But it’s not a box that arrives at the top of the stairs. Instead, tray after tray of cakes, cookies, macarons, and other finger treats file into his office, which the Duke stands by to watch helplessly. Only when his tea table has been covered in a spread fit for a small party does the courier finally leave. What has he done to earn such extravagance from the former Archon herself? he wonders, and, still bewildered, approaches one of towering gift baskets to inspect what else she might have sent. There, he finds the gilded tickets for a show at the Opera Epiclese nestled in the filling, as if it were the real gift hidden under layers and layers of the most ornate paper one could find.

Another knock at the door. Wriothesley quickly slips the tickets into his breast pocket and goes to the top of the stairs to send back whatever else might be on its way up.

”Just leave it down—“ Eyebrows raise with surprised pleasure at the sight of a familiar, albeit entirely unexpected face. 

“Now, to what do I owe a personal visit from Madame President?” he asks cheekily, following her to his desk to clear a space for the box she carries. It’s the result of the bet he’d technically lost, as it turns out, which Navia sets in front of him like a mafia boss presenting a suitcase full of mora.

”Let’s see what you’ve got here…” Leaning down for a better look, Wriothesley picks through the selection carefully, inspecting each tin as if searching gemstones for flaws. Lifting one in the middle from its bed of velvet, he spies the little note hidden beneath. If Clorinde is straight and to the point, Navia is anything but. With a soft huff, Wriothesley sets it back down.

"To be honest, I can’t remember if I’d tried any of these during my trip to Liyue last year. I guess the only thing to do is to have a taste test.” He shrugs his shoulders like it’s a matter of course, then flashes Navia a smirk. “Care to join me? I have a whole spread of desserts I need to figure out what to do with, too.”

So he sets his kettle to boil, because he expects that she won't say no. And after years and years of his birthday passing without any fanfare, Wriothesley thinks that, for once, it wouldn't be so bad celebrating it. Especially with someone else.

- -

He'd need a second hand to count them now.

[sweetwhispersofchaos]

Red, White, & Blue

A Rooster x Phoenix one-shot Warnings: Smut, angst, fluff, oh and lots of smut. Explicit. Minors DNI! Word count: 7240 Story and Cover Image Edit by me Prompt #74 from @creativepromptsforwriting @creativepromptfills (Feel free to reblog) A day late and a dollar short, this is my Fourth of July story.

Description: Rooster isn't a fan of the fourth, it was too close to the anniversary of his dads death. Phoenix tries to help him make new, happy memories.

After the Dagger squad completed their mission they dispersed back into the wind, separating to their four corners of the world to continue with their original units. Rooster found himself back in Japan to complete another five months of service there before being moved again. When his orders came down for San Diego, he wasn’t sad at all. He spent the last 5 months reconnecting with Maverick via facetime and now they could catch up on the years they missed with each other. There was a bonus to this assignment as well. Phoenix, Bob, and Coyote were all stationed there as well.

Rooster moved in April and by May was settled into his small apartment and with his new unit. He spent his days flying and nights banging on the piano at the hard deck with his friends. Maverick had retired finally and was helping Penny run the bar while consulting for the NAVY, so it was another way to spend time with his long-lost family. Things were going well, and he couldn’t complain.

Then his least favorite time of the year rolled around. July 4th was an important day for the country he served proudly, it was Americas birthday. Rooster, however, never felt much like celebrating. His dad had died just a few days prior to the holiday. His first fourth without his father was spent snuggling in his mother’s lap, watching fireworks from their backyard in Corpus Christi, Texas, while she sobbed uncontrollably. They never really celebrated the holiday; it was just too painful for his mother. She told Rooster one time when he was in high school and asked, about how July 4th was his father’s favorite holiday. He and Mav would have cookouts for their pilot friends that included at least one of them getting burned while running from fireworks and lots of singing americana themed songs off key. She looked so sad as she recalled these memories to him, and he decided to never bring it up again.

The fact that his father was a military man added insult to injury. Everything about the holiday was pomp and circumstance surrounding those who sacrificed for freedom. Rooster always struggled to see all the uniforms, military vehicles in parades, and fly overs on that day, so he decided to just ignore it, never going anywhere, never participating when asked, or celebrating at all.

When Mav and Penny invited him and his fellow aviators out to Mavericks hangar for a huge get together, Rooster panicked. He was getting along so well with the older pilot, and this might throw a wrench in everything. He didn’t want to be rude but how would he let the man down gently without telling him why he would be sitting on his couch with a beer and ignoring the outside world that day?

He tried. Several excuses later Penny had sweet talked him into making an appearance, especially after Phoenix, Bob, and Coyote had all enthusiastically accepted their invitations. Rooster was disgruntled to say the least. The thought of Maverick wanting to celebrate during this time of year really rubbed him the wrong way, and Phoenix must have picked up on that notion. The day after the invitation conversation at the Hard Deck, she cornered him at work before their hops.

“What’s up your ass, Bradshaw?” she asked from behind him as he walked towards the hangar door.

Rooster stopped in his tracks, swearing under his breath. He was hoping she wouldn’t bug him about it, but that woman never missed anything when it came to Rooster and his emotions. He turned around and found her standing with her arms crossed, an eyebrow inclined to the roof, waiting for an answer.

He sighed then tried to play it cool. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Bullshit” she immediately spat. “You couldn’t get out of the July 4th invitation fast enough last night. What gives? Don’t like us anymore?” she smirked.

“Depending on how much you continue to bug me about this, I might not.” He said completely dry.

Phoenix took a few steps forward, closing the gap between them. “I’m coming over after work to get one of your shitty beers and you’re going to tell me.” Then she lightly shoved his shoulder with her helmet before walking around him and heading for her jet.

Rooster turned and watched her go, rubbing his face with his free hand in exasperation before walking out into the California heat. He never thought he would have to have this conversation with anyone, especially Phoenix. They had always had a thing of sorts, although they never made a move past being best friends. They were close and had been since they met at Top Gun 8 years ago. They told each other everything and travelled around each other’s orbit, but he always kept her at arm’s length, not wanting to bring anyone into his personal shit nor start something he wasn’t sure he could see all the way through. It had been a few years since they had seen each other in person when they were both called back for the special detachment and Rooster began to feel all sorts of feelings again. But he still wasn’t sure he wanted to bring her all the way into his bubble.

Guess she was going to push her way in whether he wanted her to or not.

After work he tried to slip out before she could catch him but no such luck. Phoenix was already leaning against her jeep parked next to his Bronco. Rooster let out an exasperated breath as he approached her, having half a mind to remove his shades so she could see his irritation on full display, but it wouldn’t have mattered, a satisfied smirk on her face already.

“Would you believe me if I told you I already have plans this evening?” he asked as he stopped at the front of the Bronco to address her.

She stood up and grabbed her backpack from the ground “Not in the least. Start driving Bradshaw, I’m right behind you.” Then she practically skipped to her driver’s side door and hopped into the jeep. Rooster just shook his head then trudged to his own door, taking his time getting in and turning everything on, hoping it would deter her, but knowing better. Damn that woman, if he didn’t like her, he’d hate her. She never took his crap, or anyone else’s, he had to give her credit for that.

Once they pulled into his complex, they both walked silently up to his door but before he could unlock it, he turned to face her. “Look. I’d rather be alone right now.” Was all he said.

Her smile became a little crestfallen as her eyes dropped from his. She took a slow breath then looked up at him. “Listen, I can respect that if it wasn’t so obvious that you’re in pain over something. How long do we have to be best friends before you let me in? We went eight years without me knowing about the whole Maverick situation. You don’t have to hold all this shit in, you know? I want to be here for you, not just as coworkers and drinking buddies.” Then her eyes drifted down to her hands that were fiddling nervously with the strap from her backpack. It wasn’t often she dropped her tough exterior but when she did, it was usually with him and he found it beautiful.

Rooster contemplated for a minute. How long was he going to keep her pushed out of his heart. If he was honest with himself, he had let her in a long time ago, he was just scared, for so many reasons. They were coworkers, which was a weird grey area to begin with, then the thought of doing to her what his dad had done to his mom, leaving her broken and alone, just about killed him to think about. Then there was all his personal bullshit. She had her own issues in life to worry about, why should he bog her down with his own misery?

Was he being fair though? She was a big girl, maybe he should let her decide for herself if he was worth the trouble, she was obviously willing to put herself through on his behalf. For years he had been her go-to person, why couldn’t he finally let her be that for him? He steeled his resolve, turned back to the door, unlocked it, then held it open, using his other hand to wave her into his place.

She looked up at him quizzically at first then a meek smile crossed her face, and she breezed past him. The apartment was sparse, and she had been there plenty of times that it was a second home for Phoenix at this point. She dropped her backpack in the closet by the door, toeing off her sneakers, then walked into the kitchen without a word. Rooster did the same, dropping his bag and shoes into the closet before flopping into his recliner, already exhausted from the conversation he was about to have. He heard the pop of two beer bottles then she brought him one before tucking her legs under her on the end of the couch closest to him.

They sat in silence drinking from their beers for a while. He was starting to think maybe she had changed her mind when she spoke up.

“I’m not sure what to ask to get this conversation started.”

He exhaled “It’s pretty cut and dry. My dad died 33 years ago on June 30th, 1986.

Her eyes went big. “Rooster, that’s tomorrow.” she all but whispered.

He only shook his head in slow affirmative then took a long draw from his beer.

“My mom loved that man deeper than any love that ever existed, I think. When he was killed,” he took a ragged breath, trying to hold it together, “it liked to have killed her too. The fourth became more of a day of mourning than a happy occasion for us. Mom didn’t feel much up to doing anything that day.” He paused for another drink.

“Sure, that makes sense.” Was all she said before taking a swig of her own beer.

“That woman was such a character. You would have loved her. She was hard not to love. I mean, I’ve told you some of the wild and wacky stuff we did when I was growing up. Holidays were always a big deal, except the fourth. The only place we ever went was to the cemetery sometimes but as I got older, I just couldn’t go and watch her lay on that patch of grass and sob for hours in the Texas sun. “A few tears escaped his eyes, much to his protests. Before he could wipe them though, a small, calloused hand reached up and swiped his cheek gently. He looked at her, her eyes watery and filled with compassion.

“Rooster, this is nothing to be ashamed of. You’re allowed to hurt. You’re allowed to grieve however you feel is best. If that means holed up here on the fourth, then do it. I don’t mind covering for you.” She hesitated, “or I could come hole up here with you. So, you’re not alone?”

He let loose a soft smile “I’d like that.” He said with a rasp in his voice before he could stop himself. Was this the clutch his mom had on his dads’ heart? Is this what it felt like? He didn’t deserve this tough, hardheaded, yet gentle woman. She suddenly made what felt like the world’s worst day into something to look forward to.

“Do me a favor? Talk to Mav. I know he might try to talk you into going to the party but give him a chance to prove you wrong. He deserves to know what’s on your mind.”

Rooster just nodded then finished off his bottle. She chased hers until it was empty and then stood and reached for his bottle. Phoenix threw them away then moved to the closet to put her shoes back on and grab her bag. He stood and walked to the entry way, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall watching her.

She spoke over her shoulder “I hate to chat and run but I’m meeting up with a couple of girlfriends at the gym.” She turned and almost ran into him as she closed the closet door. She was so close he could feel her breath on his crossed arms. Her eyes drifted up to his and he smirked.

“So, what are we going to do Sunday for the fourth?” he asked cheekily.

She only stared at him then exhaled into a smile. “Whatever you want Lieutenant.” S stepped back, opened the door and disappeared.

Rooster wasn’t sure what to make of that comment but suddenly the fourth didn’t seem so scary.

The next day after work, Rooster went to dinner at Penny’s house like he did most Wednesdays. This was a somber meal considering the day, and Mav struggled to get through his toast to Goose. Rooster hadn’t seen Mav on this anniversary in many years and he could tell it aged the man more and more as the years passed. He would probably always blame himself for what happened, no matter what anyone said. Rooster wondered if he would ever have to go through something like that. Hazard of the job and all.

After Amelia went to her room to work on homework, he had the dreaded conversation with Penny and Mav. He was pleasantly surprised when they were both extremely understanding, even Mav. Rooster could tell it stung a little, under the circumstances, but they agreed he should do what he needed to do and that he was always welcome if he changed his mind.

Rooster helped Penny carry a stack of dishes to the kitchen and began to rinse them while she toweled them off and placed them in the dishwasher.

“So, do you mind if I ask what you plan to do for the fourth?” she asked calmly.

“I don’t mind. Phoenix is coming over.”

He caught the eyebrow raise and intrigued look she gave him out of the corner of his eye, but she didn’t press, and he didn’t say more.

Maybe he and Phoenix could make some new memories to replace the bad ones? Suddenly, for the first time since he was three years old, he was looking forward to the fourth of July.

The rest of the week at work seemed to drag and there was an obvious tension between Phoenix and himself, but in the best possible way. They used their flying as flirting, and it bordered on foreplay in the air. They pushed each other, goading the other on and passing smart ass remarks back and forth to each other. Even Coyote made a sideways comment that Friday about it.

“Could you two and your planes get a room please?” He cracked as they walked back to the hangar from their jets.

Bob choked on a snort, Phoenix just made a taunting face at him, and Rooster looked away trying to hide the blush he could feel crawling across his cheeks.

Phoenix shot back “Only if you and your ego get one first.” Everyone laughed and then parted ways for their weekend festivities. When Rooster made it out to the parking lot, he found Phoenix once again leaning against her jeep right next to his Bronco.

“So” she said once he was close enough to hear.

“So” he replied, nonchalantly, as he tossed his gear into the back of the Bronco.

“So, I’ll see you Sunday?”

“Yeah, if you still want?”

She snorted her reply, her face looking skeptical. “Change your mind Bradshaw? I could always go over to Mavs with the rest of them?” her eyebrow raised in amusement as he came to stand in front of her, dangerously close again, looking down on her from behind his aviator shades. She was playing coy and he kind of liked it. Oh no, he had decided once and for all that this cat and mouse game was done and his fourth was going to be the best one in the history of his fourths.

He slid his glasses down his nose, looking over the top of them as a Cheshire cat grin crossed his face. “Two pm, don’t be late.” Then he winked and slid his glasses back up.

She shook her head with a chuckle and they both jumped into their cars and drove away.

At 1:45PM Sunday July 4th Rooster was a nervous wreck. He had secretly thought of this moment for a very long time. Was he getting ahead of himself? Maybe all she wanted was to flirt and keep things platonic otherwise? Only one way to find out, he figured. Anything to distract him from how he normally felt on this day.

He took one last look at himself in the mirror, sporting a patriotic Hawaiian shirt over his usual white tank and a pair of khaki shorts. He could hear the sarcastic remarks already. He hoped the surprises he had for her would be appreciated, at least for the effort. He decided the only way to move forward was to take a page out of Carole Bradshaw’s book of unconventional fun. Even though she never did anything entertaining for the fourth, he used his imagination based on every other holiday they had celebrated together and went to work.

At two o’clock on the dot he heard a knock at his door before it swung open. He quickly grabbed a white beard and patriotic top hat and threw them on before exiting his bedroom “Bradshaw, come help me” She called out, her smaller frame bent over trying to pick up a few grocery bags. He had to smile at the visual. She was wearing a tiny red tank top and very short denim shorts, her own pair of aviator shades covering her eyes, and her car keys were hanging out of her mouth while she struggled with the bags. He smiled at the sight.

Phoenix raised her head to look at him and froze on the spot, her car keys slamming to the ground as her jaw slid open. He put his arms out as if to say “ta-da” and she began laughing hysterically. She was laughing so hard she began to grab her side and used her other hand to clutch the door frame.

“What” she laughed more, trying to breath “are you wearing Colonel Sanders?”

He scoffed then walked to the door and scooped up all the bags in dramatic fashion. “I’m Uncle Sam, thank-you-very-much.” Then he winked and made his way to the kitchen, listening to her continue to cackle and gasp for air.

“You’re letting out all the bought air, get in here, would you?” he called from the kitchen as he began pulling items from the bags. There was a considerable amount of alcohol, some junk food, and a bakery carton of red, white and blue sprinkled cookies. The door closed and she finally appeared in the doorway, immediately busting out into another fit of laughter as soon as she saw him. She was wiping tears from her eyes and clutching her side still.

“You have GOT to take that off or I’ll pee myself.”

“Aw come on, where’s your sense of fun?” he asked.

“You look like Santa came to visit for the fourth.” She giggled.

“Ok, that did it.” He said flatly and removed the items.

“That’s better” she said and moved into the kitchen to give him a hug, raising up on her tiptoes so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Something was instantly different about this hug. Sure, they had hugged plenty over the years. Being in many near death situations will do that to you. But this was a different hug. They weren’t pulling apart. No one moved or let go. They just stood in the middle of the kitchen, her arms around his neck, his strong arms wrapped around her middle, very still.

“Glad you could come” he said barely above a whisper into the side of her head.

With that she pulled back some, a shy smile on her face as they continued to hold each other.

“I wouldn’t have missed Santa Sam for the world.” She said with a grin, and he poked her side, knowing full well she was extremely ticklish. She released a very unladylike snort and turned around to run, shouting behind her “Ok now I do have to pee.” The bathroom door closed, and he waited just a couple of seconds before he heard a loud “Oh shit” from the lavatory.

She found another one of his surprises.

A few minutes later she came running back into the living room where Rooster sat on the couch waiting for her. She launched herself at him, landing with her legs straddling his lap, her hands attempting to get to his neck, but he held her wrists firm, laughing deeply at the feigned angry look on her face.

“Seriously Bradshaw, a fucking Uncle Sam inside the toilet lid? You about gave me a heart attack!” She continued wrestling with him, trying to get free.

All Rooster could do was laugh much in the same way she did when she first arrived. Her position hadn’t been lost on him either. This was not a position they had been in before and he was starting to sweat through his laughter.

“Oh, come on, that was funny you gotta admit.” He said and then with his hands still firmly wrapped around her wrists he maneuvered her arms behind her back and held her there, a prisoner. His prisoner. She stopped squirming in his lap, thankfully, and just stared at him with wide eyes.

“I’m not admitting anything” she said low, and he just gave her a small, pursed lip smile before he did it. He made his move. Rooster sat up, held her wrists, and brushed his lips briefly across hers. He immediately opened his eyes, hoping she wasn’t pissed, but all he saw was a beautiful flush across her cheeks, her eyes still closed. She sunk a little and wiggled her arms trying to go free, so he released her wrists. Her hands moved to his chest and her lids slowly fluttered open. Their eyes met and he almost dissipated under the warmth of the melting chocolate staring back at him.

He brought his hands up to cover hers on his chest, rubbing small circles on the back of them with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking.” He said, genuinely sorry that he took advantage of the situation. A rueful smile played across her face and then without warning she was on him.

Her hands slid up his chest, across his shoulders, wrapping around the back of his neck as she leaned in. His eyes were open in shock at first as she began kissing him, but this time it was deep and needy. His hands moved to her hips, gripping them tighter than he probably should, and he pulled her closer until she was resting against him. She slid her tongue across his bottom lip, and he was all too happy to part them for her. Their tongues began to dance, and a small moan escaped her that sent a chill all the way down his spine.

No sooner had it started, she was pulling away from his face, flustered but smiling a genuine and radiant smile.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask for a very long time. Glad you decided to skip the asking and just get to the good stuff.”

He was gob smacked. Natasha Trace does not throw caution to the wind, quite literally. This almost feral and lackadaisical version of his best friend had him more confused than he was before their talk the other day. Why didn’t she ever say anything?

Before he could ask, she lifted herself from him and reached her hands out to pull him up.

“C’mon Colonel, any other surprises?” she asked.

His mind went down a wicked path and it must have shown on his face because she lightly smacked him on the chest with the back of her hand. “For the fourth you pig.”

He chucked then took her hand in his and lead her to the small dining table near the kitchen. The table and walls were covered in cheap dollar store decorations including plastic patriotic plates, cups, and cutlery.

“You really had fun with this didn’t you?” She asked him.

“Just wait, there’s games and everything. My mother would be so proud.” He said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Of course, there is.” And she just rolled her eyes.

An hour later the table was covered in various snack packages and discarded beer bottles. Papers for name that patriotic tune and a fourth of July crossword sat discarded next to a small Bluetooth speaker. They had moved their chairs closer together and were looking at a piece of paper together.

“Rooster, some of these are just gross.”

“That’s the point of the game This or That. Gotta find the lesser of two evils.”

“Fine, but I refuse to go through with anything actually on this sheet.”

“Not a requirement.” He said with a smile.

“Ok I’m going first then.” And she snatched the paper from his hands. “Let’s see” she said as she poured over the options. “How about this. Wear a mullet forever or have red, white and blue hair forever?”

He sucked air through his teeth as if this was the toughest decision he’s ever had to make. “You know, I rocked a mullet for most of second and third grade. Wasn’t pretty but at least it would be closer to regs than colorful hair so, mullet it is.”

Phoenix laughed as she passed the paper. “I want to see those pictures!”

“No way.” he shook his head and picked up his drink. “I’m pretty sure I burned those pictures.”

“Liar. Now ask me one.”

“Patience mam. I’m working on it.” He took a drink and put his bottle back down. He looked down the list and asked, “Would you rather drink ketchup through a straw or eat mayo with a spoon?”

She immediately acted as if she was gagging. “I don’t like either of those.”

“That’s not the point of the game Phee, you gotta choose.”

She shot him a dirty look and grunted “Fine. Sucking a condiment through a straw, regardless of what it is, just sounds shitty so I’ll go mayo with a spoon.” And her body shuddered in disgust.

He laughed then passed the paper back to her.

She skimmed her finger down the list and made comments as she went. “That one is gross too. I don’t want to know the answer to this one. I already know the answer to that one.”

“Whoa whoa whoa know it all, ask it anyway. I might surprise you.”

She looked at him annoyed. “Trust me you won’t. Not on this one.”

He sat back and crossed his arms, daring her to ask with his expression. She rolled her eyes again and spoke in a very sarcastic tone. “Would you rather sing all night or dance all night?” Then she tossed the paper down in front of him, sure of what was coming next.

Rooster contemplated his answer though then an idea hit him. He pushed his chair back and stood up, Phoenix looking all together confused. Rooster fiddled with his phone for a minute then hit the power button on the small speaker. A Jason Aldean song started up and he held his hand out to her.

“If the answer involves you then the answer is dancing all night.”

She looked stunned as she reached her hand up to meet him. The next thing he knew they were in front of his couch, her right hand enclosed in his left as he held her close, their bodies swaying to the music.

Rooster started singing the words to the song quietly into the top of her head.

“I think technically its cheating if you sing while dancing, per your insistence that you have to choose one or the other for the game.”

He chuckled “Ok, dancing only.” Then the arm he had around her lower back pulled her in closer and she turned her head sideways to rest it on his chest. They continued to sway through the end of the song and then all the way through another song before she spoke again.

“Rooster?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s dance all night.”

The implications of her statement hung thick in the air and his swaying faltered. He looked down as she looked up at him, something desperate sparkling in her eyes. There was no going back from something like this. He warred with himself for a split second before he made his decision.

Rooster slid both of his hands under her ass and lifted her up suddenly, causing her to let out a tiny squeak. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, and they began kissing. These weren’t small, meek kisses. These kisses were intrusive. Tongues dipped in and out and her teeth grazed his bottom lip, causing him to squeeze her ass. Rooster began walking towards his room, barely able to see as they continued to kiss hard and furiously.

Once in the room, he used his foot to close the door before turning and pressing her back to it. He stood holding her against his bedroom door but pulled his lips away to look at her one more time.

Between ragged breaths she asked “what?”

Rooster swallowed hard, touching his forehead to hers. “This will change everything. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want.”

He felt her lips place a light kiss on his forehead.

“Rooster, look at me.” And he did. “I want everything to change. Now please, change it.”

He didn’t need to hear anymore. His lips crashed into hers and the race was on. His mustache created chill bumps on her skin as his lips worked their way down her neck until he was lightly sucking on a sensitive spot near her collarbone. Her nails were starting to dig into his back, and it made him suck harder, eliciting pants from Phoenix that were like music to his ears. Her body was writhing against him, clearly searching for more.

Rooster slowly lowered her to the ground until she was standing and grazed his lips lightly across her collarbone and shoulder as he turned her to face the door. With her hands resting on the door in front of her, he gently slid some of her hair out of the way and sucked on the back of her neck. She moaned her approval.

His hands slid up her sides until they were resting on her breasts, slowly needing them through her tank top and bra. She moved his hands and yanked her shirt over her head, momentarily pushing his lips away from her neck. When his hands moved back to her breasts, he realized something amazing, her bra was a front clasp.

His fingers made quick work of the small hooks and as the cups fell away his warm hands covered both breasts, another moan escaping her pretty mouth. He began rolling her nipples with his fingers and her ass grazed his dick, making him jump. Roosters’ hands moved to her shoulders and slid the red lacy bra down her arms until it hit the floor.

Phoenix turned around and crushed her lips to his, frantically removing both of his shirts. As they skimmed lips, she traced her tiny fingers over each curve of his abdomen then he felt her pert breasts pushing against him as she wrapped her arms around his midsection.

Rooster wasn’t sure how much more he could take; his brain was screaming. His cock was screaming. He wanted her to scream.

They began moving towards the bed, never ending the waltz their tongues were dancing together. Rooster unbuttoned his shorts and let them drop to the ground before he unbuttoned hers. Before he could lower them though, she stepped back, panting and flushed. He was worried that she had changed her mind but then she gave him the sexiest grin. She turned around and hooked her thumbs into the top of her shorts. What happened next almost dissolved Rooster on the spot.

Phoenix bent over slowly, and as she did, she pushed her shorts down gradually, revealing a thin pair of red lace panties. There she was, her ass in the air, and she wiggled it ever so slightly, teasing him. He was done playing. Eight years of sexual tension was a huge itch, and he was about to scratch it so good she just might cry.

He gave her right ass cheek a small spank and she gasped. Before she could react further though, he grabbed her hips and turned her as she stood back up. Then, with his eyes connected to hers, he lowered himself to his knees. His fingers skimmed the outside of her legs as he placed a small kiss to her stomach. He slid his fingers deliberately up her thighs until he hooked his thumb into the single string holding up the panties on either side. Then he was lowering them, smoothly crawling his fingers across her skin as he did.

He wanted to worship her. She deserved nothing less. This was an enormous gift she was giving him, and he didn’t want to waste it.

She stepped out of her panties and then ran her hands through the tufts of his brown curls. When she tugged on it, he growled then leaned in and swooped his tongue across the outside of her heat. He could smell her arousal and his cock throbbed painfully. She tugged again and he raised his head to look at her. She looked at him through hooded eyes, lust radiating from her skin.

Rooster used his hands on her hips to move her until the backs of her legs hit the bed and she sat. Staring straight into her soul, he placed his hands on her knees then pulled them apart, spreading her wide. Without warning he buried his face between her soft thigs and ran his tongue from her vagina to her clit, producing the most beautiful cry from her as she threw her head back.

He smirked to himself then slid his arms under her thighs, wrapping them all the way around and gripping them tight. He blew a light breath onto her wet slick, and she shuddered. Then he began lapping at her opening as if it were the best ice cream he had ever tasted. His tongue pushed into her, and she whimpered. His tongue moved north and began a beautiful assault of her clit. He started slow, savoring the movement of her body against his face and the tiny noises she began to make. He circled her then sucked gently, gradually picking up the pace. She moved her hips in rhythm with his tongue, a barrage of obscenities pouring from her mouth. She was getting close, and he could tell.

Rooster removed one of his arms from her leg and she made a noise of protest until two of his fingers entered her wet folds and she cried out. He hooked his fingers and thrust them quickly while his tongue struck her mound faster and faster. This tempo unraveled her forcefully, her pelvis grinding into his face and fingers as she threw her head back and let out a shriek, he was sure the neighbors had to of heard. She twisted and pressed against him as she rode her wave and her movements slowed as his did. He slowly skimmed her slit with his tongue as he removed his fingers, her pants shooting straight to his core.

He stood and looked down at her, naked and open to him. She was a vision of beauty and he felt so overwhelmed by this scene his stomach tightened.

Phoenix let her head roll to the side, her eyes opening to meet his as her breath finally slowed. She reached out to his swollen dick, trapped in his boxer briefs, and ran her hand from base to tip. His whole body jumped, and an unattractive noise escaped his mouth. Her lips curved into the sexiest smile and without hesitation she gently pulled the waistband away from his cock then yanked the underwear all the way down in one swift movement.

Before Rooster could react, her tongue was on him, grazing the underside of his cock until it reached the tip. She licked the precum away then took him whole, filling her pretty mouth with all of him. Animalistic noises echoed from his mouth as she hollowed out her checks to suck him hard. Her hands were cradling his balls and the base of his penis as she slid her mouth up and down in agile movements. He was seeing stars and getting close. As much as he would love to see her mouth take his cum, he had other ideas of where he wanted it to go.

Rooster ran his hands through her raven hair then gently pulled her back until her mouth was empty of him. She looked at him with innocence, knowing full well how naughty she was being. He looked at her hungerly and his voice came out extremely husky when he told her to move back. She obliged, using her feet to push herself further onto the bed.

He crawled across the bed with her and as she lowered herself back onto her elbows, he placed his hands on either side of her and dropped down for a deep kiss. When she pulled away, he gazed into her eyes before wrapping his arms around her and laying her all the way onto the bed smoothly. His eyes searched hers the whole time, looking for any ounce of doubt or fear before he crossed the last precipice of their relationship. Knowing where his mind was, she reached out to stroke his cheek with her hand. A beautiful smile grew, and she said the one word he needed to hear. “Please.” She almost whispered. He only nodded his head and moved in closer between her legs.

He placed his lips on hers, languid kisses shared between them as he aligned his cock to her entrance. With her arms wrapped around his neck he slid in, and she inhaled sharply, her chin lifting to the ceiling. Rooster peppered her jaw line with light kisses as he began to move, gradually at first.  They had waited eight years for this moment, he wanted both to savor it. His lips moved down as he rocked into her and took first one nipple and then the other into his mouth, his tongue circling each one until she was begging for more. Her pleading made him brave. Before she even had time to register what was happening, he had grabbed her around her waist and rolled over, his back landing on a stack of pillows, Phoenix still connected and now, on top of him.

She placed her hands on his chest, steadying herself, before a dangerous look crossed her face. Whatever happened next, he knew he was going to enjoy it immensely.

Bracing herself she began rocking back and forth, grinding her sensitive bud against his pelvis. Her head rolled and lulled with the movements, his hips swaying to meet her. She sat up as she continued to rub against him and raised her hands into her hair, putting her exquisite breasts on full display for him. He reached up and pinched her nipples between his fingers as she let out moans in time with her movements.

Rooster brought one of his thumbs to her mouth, beckoning for her to suck on it, which she did like a good girl. Then he brought his thumb to her clit and began slow circles that had her calling for God. The harder he pressed the more she pushed down, her actions becoming more erratic as she reached behind her and grabbed his inner thighs for support. Seconds later she was falling apart again, a cry erupting from her mouth that ripped right through his body, awakening something feral and needy in him. Before she could come down from her high, he had rolled them over again and was burying himself so deep in her that he thought he might shatter immediately.

His mouth was sucking at her collarbone while her hands clawed at his shoulder blades. He pounded into her with all the force he could muster, her cries growing louder with each thrust. Suddenly he realized she wasn’t just wailing incoherently. His name was pouring from her mouth. Not his callsign, but his name.

“Bradley, oh god Bradley” she yelled over and over as he crashed into her. Something about his name on her lips had his mind and body spiraling. With two more fast and hard plows he blew his load into her as he called her name into the void.

“Oh Natasha, holy shit.” His cock exploding forcefully into her body.

He stilled buried to the hilt, both breathing intensely, tiny whimpers escaping her mouth with each heave of her chest. As his mind came back to earth, he regained some of his bearings and eased the tension of his body from against hers. His lips met hers in a tender kiss that she reciprocated as best as she could between heavy breaths.

His heart almost burst when she smiled at him, her cheeks flushed, a sheen touching her brow. She was stunning and it made his heart clench. This was it for him. No more shutting her out. He wanted all of her like this, over and over again, for eternity. He had found his happiness.

As he softened, he slid out of her and sat back on his heels, watching her regain composure as her breaths became steadier. She raised her hand for help, and he grabbed it, sitting her up gingerly. She bent her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her chin came to rest on the top of her knees, and she gave him a gorgeous mega watt smile.

Rooster moved next to her and laid back on the stack of pillows. He rubbed circles lazily on her bare back, connecting the scars he could see.  Into the dark she suddenly spoke, pulling him out of his trance.

“Bradley?”

“Yeah baby?”

She peered over her shoulder at him with her eyebrow raised, wearing a smirk.

“Can we do this every Fourth of July?”

He chuckled then opened his arms, beckoning her to join him. She laid back and nestled herself to his side while he wrapped his arms around her. He placed a peck to the tip of her nose and the corners of his mouth raised.

“Let freedom ring, baby.” And they both fell into a heap of laughter and bliss.

Just like that the Fourth of July became his favorite holiday, year after year.

[demonsanddemogorgons]

Sunny in Philadelphia - A Joseph Quinn Story (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4 - The Call

Joe's autograph was the last thing for you to do for the day at the convention, but it was dinnertime. Rachel suggested ordering room service at the hotel and getting some drinks to celebrate the events of the day. You agreed but leaving the convention center almost felt like closing a book. You had Joe's number, but you were just some nobody from Pennsylvania that had to go back home that week and pretend nothing ever happened while he was a famous actor that had to travel all over the world for various commitments. Reality started hitting you relatively quickly that this may be short-lived. It pulled on your heart strings already. You were fortunate enough to be the subject of Joe's affection and it scared you that it could fall apart. You were leaving the next day and it felt like you were leaving another life.

Rachel swiped the key card to the hotel room and opened the door for you both to enter. She threw herself on her bed backwards with a huge sigh.

"What a fucking DAY!" she shouted as she landed on her back on the bed, reaching for the phone. "What do you want from room service?"

"I don't know but I need alcohol after today," you responded, kicking your shoes off and lying on your bed.

"I bet you do," she said. She noticed that your facial expression was more sad than happy after what you had said. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I just feel like Joe and I's interaction is over already and I'm not ready for it to be."

"Who said it had to be over? He told you to keep in touch."

"Yeah, I know. But how the hell would it work? I am just a small town nobody who has to go back to slaving at work and living my normal life, pretending nothing happened. He will be going back to acting and traveling, modeling, brand deals. We have two completely different lives. I feel like it would break us, and I can't be broken again. Not after-"

"Hey, I get it. You've been through a lot getting a divorce and all, but you can't let that scare you away from an amazing shot. And I do mean amazing. JOSEPH. QUINN. Are you really going to let that narcissistic asshole you were married to continue to control your life even though he isn't in it anymore? You have a chance at better. Much better. Take it. No one said it would be easy, but it may just be worth it."

You sighed and got up to hug her.

"What would I do without you?" you mumbled into her shoulder.

"Crash and burn," she joked, pulling away. "Alright, enough sad talk. I'm calling room service and ordering the best drinks in the house."

A little while later, there was a knock at the door. Rachel opened the door to find room service with a few alfredo dishes, and bottles of wine and whiskey accompanied by wine and shot glasses.

"Damn, Rachel, we are leaving tomorrow and you want to drive 4 hours home on a hangover?"

"You only live once," she laughed, taking the tray from the serviceman, tipping him, and closing the door. She sat the tray on a little table in the corner of the room and started pouring shots. "Let's party!"

After working on your food and beginning to get a bit buzzed from the booze you had been drinking, you heard your phone vibrating on the bed. You got up and went over to grab it, seeing an incoming call on your screen. You almost choked on the bite of pasta you were chewing at the sight of the name on the screen.

"Oh my God, Rachel. He's calling me."

"Joe?"

"Who the fuck else?" you laughed nervously, looking at her. "What do I do?"

"ANSWER IT."

You swiped across your screen.

"Hello?"

"'Evening, Blue Eyes," a familiar British accent said through the phone. You froze at the sound.

"Joe," you responded, unable to say anything else in disbelief.

"Mack," he mimicked. You smiled at his little touch of humor. "So glad I can now put a name to those eyes."

You blushed. This man and his obsession with your eyes. You looked at Rachel, who was silently signaling you to put the call on speaker phone, and you did so.

"What's up?" you asked, genuinely wondering what he had up his sleeve with this phone call.

"I just finished up at the convention. I was hoping you hadn't left town yet."

"Not yet. Tomorrow."

"Oh, good. I was worried I had missed you."

"Missed me?" you asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you out to dinner and drinks, but I didn't want to do it in front of everyone in the autograph line, and texting isn't the proper way to ask. I was worried you had gone home before I was done for the day."

This gentleman. You were already amazed at his care for you. You smiled at the phone even though you knew he couldn't see you.

"Nope, I'm still here. My best friend and I are leaving to go home in the morning."

"Well, in that case, I found this small, more private place in town, the Attico Rooftop Lounge. Would you care to join me for dinner and drinks?"

Your heart sank. You had just eaten.

"Joe, I actually just finished eating. Rachel ordered us room service."

"Oh, well, you don't have to eat then. Just have a drink with me. Please? I would love to spend the evening with you before you leave."

You glanced at Rachel with a questioning look. After all, you would be ditching her for this. She nodded in approval.

"I'll be fine alone for the night," she whispered so Joe wouldn't hear her on the phone. "Go."

"I would love to," you responded, silently letting out the breath you had been holding.

"Brilliant," he responded, exhaling through it in relief. "Where are you staying, love? I can send a car for you, say 8:00?" He really was something else, taking such good care of you already.

"Best Western."

"Consider it done, darling."

"Thank you, Joe."

"Of course. I will see you later, Blue Eyes."

You smiled, cheeks flushing red at the repeated use of his favorite pet name.

"See you later. Oh, Joe?" you rushed to catch him before he hung up.

"Yes, darling?"

"How should I dress? I didn't really bring much with me."

"However you want to, love. You could wear sweats and a jumper and still look stunning."

This man knew what he was doing with the flirtations, that's for sure. You giggled in response, earning a small chuckle back from him.

"You're too sweet."

"Only what you deserve."

You looked at Rachel with wide eyes and a smile, swooning. She smiled back, quietly celebrating for you. He somehow knew the right words to say with every sentence and you had never experienced that before. It made your heart swell.

"So I will be out front at 8:00 then," you said, bleeding newfound confidence from what he had been saying to you.

"See you then, love."

"Bye."

You hung up the phone, a bit in shock, which showed in your silence. Rachel spoke after a few seconds.

"Wow."

"He's so-"

"Amazing."

"Yeah."

Story Master List

[enigmasandepiphanies]

the last weekend was one of the top 10 best moments of my life and if I told the younger me about it, she'd never believe me at all. isn't that what adulthood is about after all, doing things that would make the little girl with braids who still lives inside you happy. i went to the eras tour movie with my best friend who is also my musical soulmate there was something in the air that day that was unlike any trips we'd taken—we have to travel quite a lot from college to reach the city. it was this humming anticipation but it was a gentle refrigerator like humming filled with comfort. then after a great breakfast, arriving at the mall and reaching the theatre, the humming became loud buzzing as my best friend and i couldn't contain excitement. we were like a container of overspillng strawberries.

we met so many swifities and when the movie began, IT BURST. we never sat down on the seats, singing loudly to all songs for 3 hours, waving flashlights, screaming all fanchants, running across the theatre stairs to the screen dancing all the songs of our childhood and girlhood and songs that shaped us, hugging, holding hands. i have been part of fandoms, I have found most of my belonging in fan communities—they have nurtured who I am today. but I have never been to a concert, this was the closest I have been to one and it was everything. we were probably the only people who knew lyrics to all the songs. there was so much fluorescent happiness, you know the hazy kind, the one which you look back in life to and think it was a surreal dream. it was surreal, I still don't think I remember every bit of it. I just remember happy screams, loud singing, feet hurting, jumping and waving and being enveloped in my best friend's love. people looked at us when we danced near the screen stage on 'our song', it is taylor's old album so not everyone knew but it felt like a main character moment to know and when my best friend made me twirl to it, I remembered listening to this song for the first time on YouTube, it was one of the first Taylor songs after love story that I had heard and I fell in love with its country storytelling, 11 year old me wanted that love. and when my best friend told me there was no one I would do this with except you, I almost wanted to crush her in my embrace because same but also because it is not just about the movie and fandom and celebrating your love for music which whispered your soul alive but also about people, people who you share that love with and the sharing is such a love multiplier cause love is not just stored in my best friend but she returns me love with interest, with more dividends with just more love. god i love her so much!!!

we were planning to stay in the city in a hotel with our other friend whose birthday it was and celebrate her birthday with good old fashioned alcohol and going to a nightclub. yes very first world country I think but I am not from a first world country and it was like my second time going to a club. after reaching at the hotel, we ordered wraps and showered and got cozy under those white comfy hotel comforters. we took a cuddly nap and then woke up late in evening when the sun set, sky was the darkish greyish blue and vehicles were honking during evening rush. oh wait btw I just got legal so I legally brought alcohol from the mall btw, they didn't even check my id cause the way I asked about alcohol seemed like i was experienced and old even though I have like a baby face. we ordered some noodles, chicken, snacks and mixers BUT THERE WAS NO BOTTLE OPENER for the mixers and my friend used a spoon to open it IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL, I literally gave her three bows on my legs. I had the most fun pregaming experience cause I was with the people I felt so comfortable and loved by, we got ready while pregaming. I often talk about girlhood interrupted due to being in 20s but with my best friend doing my eyeliner, mixing drinks, dancing to paper rings and 2010s bollywood songs, pregaming on bhajans, wearing sparkly dresses and jewellery and just hugging my friends for no reason was when my girlhood was interrupted. my best friend ordered an auto in her tipsy state.

and we went to the club, saw the cool college group from uni turns out they are very boring, they didn't even dance. they played some amazing songs so we danced, my musical soulmate flicked my glasses off and a kind girl from the cool college group also helped me find it, my best friend found it. there was that obnoxious male attention which we downed it with one shared long island tea, the club asked us for a picture idk how tf that picture turned out cause we were so drunk, I remember being so happy in that moment just holding my best friend and dancing to songs in languages I didn't even understand. and then when it was time to go home, this guy flirted with both of us (I called him mufasa from simba idk why I told him he's hot but dont you dare think you're getting away flirting with both of us men ugh he was hot tho) , I fell off sone stairs a bit not hurt don't worry, the sober birthday girl called a taxi, I emergency dialled my parents (yes they are all stories for some other). I cleaned my best friends puke, held her hair, broke a cup during cleaning, I puked. it was quite a wild night, we cleaned up, had the best sleep of our lives. I just I think the aftermath of returning is when I truly realized how I love my friends like I didn't mind cleaning up after them, it was natural. they took care of me—shoving antacid in my mouth, cuddling me post breakfast while we watched gilmore girls, it was yeah. it was a surreal dream, true textbook fanfictiony being in your 20s experience that you tell your kids but that is not why I loved it the most, I loved it because I was with people who made me feel so loved. ughhhhhhhhh

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Easter greetings from the President of Ukraine

Dear great people of the great country!

At the end of last winter, Russia brought a full-scale war to our land. And with it – death, pain, and darkness. On the morning of February 24, the sun never rose. Dawn never came. On the morning of February 24, a dark night began. And at the same time, our awakening began. Our struggle.

Darkness could not overshadow our spirit, desire for freedom, love for our native land, and readiness to defend it.

We have kept the light within us. We have conquered panic, fear, feud, and quarrels. We have united. Millions of sparks in millions of Ukrainian hearts became one big bonfire. Our strength and invincibility were tempered in this fire, this fire did not let our hope and faith go out, the whole world saw this fire. It has united around it, stood next to us.

Then we defeated despair, hopelessness, fatigue, pain. Millions of lights in the eyes of millions of Ukrainians merged into one powerful beam of light. It helped us not to get lost in the dark, not to get lost on the road, illuminated the path to the right goal.

This is what different generations have fought for in different centuries. What our warriors of light – the defenders of Ukraine – gave their lives for in the last nine years and 417 days.

What we are fighting for against the dark forces today. This is our dawn. Our revival. This is the dawn of independent Ukraine.

Today, we celebrate the holiday of the Resurrection of the Lord. Its main symbol is victory: the victory of good, victory of truth, victory of life. We celebrate Easter with unshakable faith in the irreversibility of these victories.

On this day a year ago, we all prayed that Ukraine would endure. Today – for Ukraine to win. We don't just wait and ask, we win and create this victory ourselves. 417 days. We have already come a long way. Perhaps the most difficult of the peaks is ahead of us. We will overcome it. And together we will meet our dawn. When the sun will rise all over our country. This is a blue and yellow flag. It will certainly be raised in all our God-given land. In all territories temporarily occupied by devils. Our flag will fly on the shores of the Sea of Azov and the banks of Siversky Donets River, over terricones and Ai-Petri peak. The sun will shine in the south, the sun will shine in the east, and the sun will shine in Crimea. The yellow-hot sun in a peaceful blue sky, and it is the light of justice.

It is the light of the reunion of people and families. Ukrainians. All who are now at the front and all who help them in the rear. The glow of the smiles of the winners and their families. The brilliance of the battle orders of the heroes who will return. The sparkle of happy eyes of parents, children, loved ones, friends and relatives who are waiting.

This is the light of rebirth. Reconstruction of what was destroyed and mutilated by the occupier. Reconstruction of our beautiful country, which will become even more beautiful in the future.

It is the light of verity and truth. The rule of law and justice. Prosecution and punishment of all those who gave and executed criminal orders. All those who killed, tortured, robbed will answer both in the international tribunal and to the Lord.

Heaven sees our faith and steadfastness. The world sees our courage and invincibility. The enemy sees our strength and determination. And therefore, Ukraine will see the light of victory.

Belief in it unites us all. Always, but especially today. On Easter, which has always been a family holiday for Ukrainians, a day of warmth, hope and great unity. The war could not erase us, our values, our traditions, our holidays, and the most important things they symbolize.

And therefore, no matter where we celebrate Easter, no matter where each of us is now, we celebrate Easter together.

We are one big family. Ukrainians. We have one big home. Ukraine. We have one big goal. Victory. For all.

Those who are no longer with us, who gave their lives for Ukraine. We remember everyone and ask God to appease their souls. We believe in everyone who continues to defend the Motherland, and we ask God to protect and preserve them. With all our strength, we fight for our land and ask for the help of heavenly forces. In hundreds of prayers that our ancestors said before the battle, which help our soldiers and protect them today.

I will put on the shroud of Jesus Christ,

my skin is iron shell,

my blood is strong ore, my bone is a damask sword.

I am faster than an arrow, more alert than a falcon.

The armor is on me.

The Lord is in me.

For tomorrow.

For a peaceful dawn.

For the victory.

For Ukraine.

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

[avalonbayblog]

“Do we… do we kiss now or…?” Jayden/Bailey?

A/N: I got this back in 2019 and I'm only just responding to it. I suck, I know, lol. Also, I'm sort of cheating because it's my Happy New Year ficlet for them but fixed some dialogue...meaning I answer this before even remembering it was in my inbox! Lol, I'm so sorry!

-

He was sure it was Emily’s and Mike’s idea to have the New Year’s Eve party. Though he was sure Kevin, Mia, Antonio, and Lauren weren’t too far behind. But it was definitely the yellow ranger’s idea.

She was always into things like that. As they had grown closer as a team, as a found family, she insisted on them celebrating every time they managed to defeat a Nighlock. And it was fun, something they’d started shortly before their tenure as rangers ended. They celebrated Halloween and Christmas, but had never celebrated the New Year together, so why not start now?

Those were the exact words on the letter Jayden had received from Emily, two weeks before they were to arrive at his house. Why she hadn’t just texted him, she wasn’t sure. But knowing Emily, she wanted to honor the essence of the day by sending official invitations. As it was, Jayden was excited to see his team again. He, Lauren, and Antonio had been the only ones who stuck around Panorama City, and even then, Anotino and Lauren were almost constantly on some sort of fishing trip.

It was a weird match made in heaven, his best friend and sister getting together. But it made sense all the same. When Antonio wasn’t spending his time training with Jayden, he was seen teasing Lauren and trying to get her attention. And Lauren, having had missed so much of life training as the true Samurai Red Ranger, was excited to be able to explore the world. It was a win-win, and the relationship they formed along the way seemed to be working out well for them. Antonio was his goofy self and Lauren laughed at all his jokes.

It was nice to see. And Jayden had seen it amongst the others as well, he’d always known Mike and Emily had a crush on each other since starting as rangers. He focused on his duties but wasn’t blind. It was more a of a sense of…curiosity to see how they would get together. They always seemed to be a little too shy to say anything. Kevin and Mia were a little different, Kevin was so focused on his line of duty as the blue ranger that it seemed to not even occur to him that Mia was into him until he started to loosen up a little.

Even then, Mike had to be the one to spell it out for him. Jayden remembered the night of sitting in the room Mike and Kevin shared and how Kevin’s eyes had grown wide and the almost squeaked “What?” acme from the blue ranger’s mouth when Mike simply said, “Dude…you know Mia likes you, right?”

So, Jayden wasn’t surprised when he saw the ranger couples heading up to the house on the day they arrived. Mike had his arm draped over Emily’s shoulders in that cool, nonchalant way that was simply Mike, Emily beaming at his side. (Though that could’ve been from the sheer excitement of seeing her friends again). Kevin and Mia were sweet, holding swinging hands between them as they strolled up to the house. And Antonio and Lauren brought up the rear, carrying fishing poles and laughing about something along the way…to the point Jayden and Ji heard them long before they came into view.

So for the next few hours they caught up with each other, following Emily’s and Mia’s orders of where the decorations and food was supposed to go for the perfect set up. Soon after, Jayden went to take a shower and change clothes, then came back to Emily starting to hand out the party blowers and hats they were to wear.

Lauren was the first one to bring it up. “When’s Bailey supposed to get here?”

Ji looked at his watch. “Any minute now,” he replied. “She had to take care of some work before coming over.”

“I can’t wait to see her!” Mia said, clasping her hands together. “It’s been so long.”

“Yeah, we can’t start until we’re all together,” Emily said, practically wiggling in excitement. “What’s a new year’s party if we’re not all together?”

“A regular party?” Mike said, making her gently roll her eyes.

“She’ll be here, Em,” Kevin said. He shared what looked to be a secret smile with the others. “We know that she wouldn’t be able to resist coming.”

At that, it seemed that all eyes turned Jayden’s way. At least, he noticed it on the lift of his cup to take another sip of his sparkling cider. Jayden slowly lowered it, his eyes shifting back and forth. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing!” Was the quick, and unbelievable reply.

Jayden’s face screwed up in light confusion. Unlike everyone else, he’d seen the purple samurai ranger around as she hadn’t left Panorama city once the Nighlocks had been defeated. It made sense, she was finishing up her studies and her work at the university and had the job at the coffee shop she held onto. The same coffee shop that Jayden frequented when the urge for some caffeine hit him. Every now and again he would catch her on her lunch break and the two would talk over their orders, talking about what Bailey was studying—and Jayden never understood—and his travels with Ji on their motorcycle trips.

Nothing much more than that…as far as he knew.

Though the others seemed to insist that something was going on. Maybe he just didn’t get it. They enjoyed each other’s company and alerted each other if there were any strange readings that my indicate evil things coming up. Sometimes they met up just to spar so that they wouldn’t get too rusty. But…that didn’t necessarily mean anything was going on.

There was a lot of catching up to do that Jayden needed to do as a person. He was advanced in a lot of ways but stunted in many others. That wasn’t to say he hadn’t joined in the conversation when the boys were talking about which ranger girls were cute. Objectively, he thought they were, and could at least say he thought his sister deserved someone but had never really been attracted to someone.

That he knew of.

Is that what it meant when he felt a little overconfident while equally a little nervous, got annoyed when he wasn’t being paid attention to? Wasn’t that just being a leader?

“Mia, why do you look like you’re about to burst?” Jayden asked, watching as Mia ran her hands over each other. Partially as a subconscious means to take the attention off him, and partially because he noticed the bit of high energy from the pink ranger who was usually very calm.

She lifted herself to sit on her hands. “No reason,” she replied with a warm smile.

He didn’t quite believe her, but Mia also wasn’t one to lie very often.

“Hey everyone!”

All attention moved away from Jayden as Bailey Mitchell; the purple samurai ranger swept into the room with a bounce to her step. Thankful for the distraction, Jayden held back as the other rangers got up and gave her excited hugs. He didn’t really need to greet her; he saw her regularly. Nevertheless, he gave a small smile and a wave when her gaze swept his way.

So, the party became full swing. With food, laughter, and games going as the night went on, with the TV that Mike had eventually convinced Ji to invest in, set to the news to watch the countdown for the ball to drop. Eventually, the conversation moved to the guys in the living room while the girls were in the kitchen. As soon as Lauren’s ponytail disappeared around the corner, Mike turned to Jayden with a head whip so quick that Jayden lightly flinched.

He didn’t especially like the look on the green ranger’s face.

“So?” Mike asked, his lips pulled back into a smirk. “Are you going to kiss Bailey once the ball drops?”

Jayden blinked in surprise, confusion, and…anxiety. “Kiss?”

He knew the traditions surrounding Halloween—he wistfully watched the other kids go around the neighborhood dressed up and getting candy while he was still training. He understood Christmas—it was the holiday that Ji insisted they didn’t let pass by. But New Year’s wasn’t anything special to as far as he knew…he and Ji were usually on watch in case Nighlocks appeared to want to catch Panorama off-guard in the wee hours of the early morning.

But it wasn’t simply the fact that the tradition was lost on him that made him hesitate, but the fact that the red ranger had never kissed anyone before.

If it were possible, the Shiba house had gotten louder the closer it got to midnight.

In a way that Bailey hadn’t been used to for most of her life. As a kid she remembered holidays with her mom and sister being just the three of them. In Angel Grove it was just her and Avalon for a while. After having met the other rangers, they were swept up in holidays festivities to the point that the first holiday they spent with their new friends Avalon and Bailey were overwhelmed.

Over the years, they went back to smaller celebrations, mostly herself, Avalon, and her brother-in-law, Billy. All the teams and friends she’d met over the years, they consistently became spread out as the years went on and their ranger duties were no longer needed.

So, the opportunity to see her friends from the Samurai team again was an exciting opportunity. And a good way for her to get her head out of the academic world she threw herself into, wanting to finish her degree. Honestly, she probably could have graduated early and even skipped grades when she was young, she remembered when Avalon had suggested it to her. But Bailey, unlike Billy, had turned it down. As smart as she was, she enjoyed her friendships as much as she enjoyed learning and wanted to stick with her peer group.

Plus, she hadn’t been to a party since the housewarming Max had thrown with his boyfriend. The rest of the staff of the coffee shop was there, but no one else she knew. And it was weird, she never realized how comfortable she’d become in the ranger life until it was gone. Like she was watching every one from an overhead vantage point rather than being there.

But in the Shiba house she felt more comfortable. It was a home to her, and should have been with how much time she spent there. Despite knowing Emily had spearheaded the party, she was a little surprised to see Ji and Jayden getting so into the festivities. They’d always been so serious about things as they were fighting the Nighlocks.

Even birthdays seemed to be blips on the radar.

It was a nice change of pace to see how relaxed everyone was. Jayden had talked about it a few times before, when holidays had never happened, and Jayden had grown to not be disappointed.

It was fine. Lots of things changed after his mother passed away and that was just one of the many new things Stiles had adjusted to.

That new year’s eve, the house was full and it made Bailey smile.

The night went on, soon it was almost midnight and Bailey decided to get some more food from the kitchen. Anything to keep from watching as the clock went ticked on, aware that the party was slowing down—though Emily’s excitement for the new year wasn’t—and everyone was getting ready to bring in the new year.

Where she’d be the only one without someone to kiss. Hell, even when she was a kid she at least had Fred to kiss. And then Carter that one time. And that one girl that one year, though she wasn’t entirely sober for that one. And Max, of course, being the good friend that he was. And those kisses didn’t count anyway, it was different when you were celebrating new years as an adult.

It was a thing.

And it clearly was a thing since Mia, Emily, and Lauren had all talked about how excited they were with their new years’ kisses coming up. Mia, surprisingly, was especially excited about it. Then again, she was the one who had been the most into romance and weddings, so it wasn’t that weird. Lauren was a little better than Jayden, having traveled and been with Antonio for so long that she was able to experience multiple holidays and festivities in different cities and countries. The new years kiss wasn’t foreign to her but she was still enthralled with the idea as it was.

Then again, as far as Bailey knew, everything seemed to excite Lauren. She hadn’t seen a girl smile at life as much since she’d met Kimberly.

And, of course, Emily had Mike…

“There you are!”

Bailey looked up as Emily scurried into the kitchen, her ballet flats tapping against the floor as she went. “Come on! The ball’s about to drop! You need to be there!”

“Oh, no, I’m…” Bailey wasn’t able to get the rest of her words out before she was yanked back into the living room.

Stuck, Bailey stood just in the doorway of the living room, trying to stay inconspicuous. Her eyes flickered over the countdown on the TV screen. She sighed, slightly disappointed. By that point she’d figured she would have had things figured out, had a boyfriend to spend the holidays with. It was hard to leave from spending Christmas with Avalon and Billy, but seeing her friends was a good reprieve. It was nice to see their marriage going well, something they both deserved after how hard they fought for it.

But she didn’t want to cramp their style. New years was for couples and friends and she was content to sit in her apartment before having been invited out. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to not having someone to kiss. She’d been so much of a nerd in her formative years that people didn’t really look her way.

Still, it was hard to see Mike and Emily, Kevin and Mia, and Antonio and Lauren pair up.

But that was fine, she was happy for them. The small smile that came to her face proved as much.

Still, she couldn’t help but feel every nerve in her body ignite on fire when she realized Jayden was standing close to her, head bent toward the floor. As if he had the same idea she had, of ducking into the kitchen when he got the chance. Still, Bailey couldn’t help but glance at him from the corner of her eye; the tall, brooding, red ranger that he was.

And who she had a crush on since, almost, the first time she looked at him. Of course, she’d denied it like crazy, she never liked people telling her things about herself rather than her figuring it out on her own. But her own will could be stubborn. Anyway, she was smart, she recognized a crush the moment her heart rate had started to increase…and it couldn’t quite be ignored when all of her co-workers would coo and squeal in her ear whenever ‘Sad Guy’ came in to order.

Not that it mattered anyway, Jayden was remarkably straightforward with what he wanted. And the only thing he wanted was to defeat the Nighlocks and finish what his father started. Everything outside of that wasn’t anything that even crossed his radar. So even when she admitted to herself she liked him she knew it was a moot point.

For two reasons 1) A guy that good looking would never be interested in her—she still remembered the embarrassment of what happened with Conner, and 2) Nothing seemed to turn him on more than morphing.

But it was more than that; when he relaxed, he was nice, real. He was able to be himself and not ‘Jayden the red ranger’. Plus, the irony wasn’t lost on her, she made fun of Avalon for having a thing for Jason way back when. Having a thing for the red ranger must run in the family.

Bailey glanced at him again then froze, seeing that he had glanced at her at the same time and their eyes met. He shifted a little closer to her, still far enough away the distance wasn’t questioned but close enough she could reach out and touch him if needed.

“So, uh, you, uh…” Jayden cleared his throat. “Don’t have anyone to kiss?”

Bailey’s face screwed up in confusion, and slight offense. That was a…weird conversation to start. And one that she didn’t really want to have. But it also wasn’t something she wasn’t used to with Jayden Shiba. He’d been so engrained in a life of battle that regular social cues and situations was foreign to him. She’d seen him stumble over showing more than surface level interest to people he came across.

“Guess not,” she replied.

“I don’t either.”

At that, Bailey rolled her eyes. Now she got it. Understood why the words seemed so foreign in Jayden’s mouth probably came from Mike. So much so that when she looked over at the green ranger, he quickly looked away, as if the ceiling had suddenly become so interesting. Part of her wished she was back with her sister.

It took a second for her to realize Jayden was still speaking to her.

“Uh, maybe, uh, we could, uh, kiss each other?”

Bailey blinked in surprise, working to let the words roll through her head and make sense of them. She stared at him, at the side of his face as he continued to look at his feet. This was Jayden, the red ranger who would race into battle without a second thought. Who had almost gotten himself killed out of a sense of pride and wanting to protect his team.

And he was…nervous.

It almost didn’t compute.

It certainly didn’t make sense.

Jayden was still talking. “Do we… do we kiss now or…?"

Bailey’s brain short-circuited as she tried to work out what to say in response. Part of her was excited, another part of her was working through the mathematical probability that he was, in fact, asking an honest question and not messing with her.

Jayden frowned, lightly lifting his chin at her silence. “If you don’t want to…you don’t have to…”

Bailey quickly crunched the numbers and found the probability of him making a fool of her was a lot less than her panicked 50:50 odds. The thought made her smile a little, and give her more than enough courage to reach out and place her hand on the back of Jayden’s neck and slide in toward him. She saw his face before she closed her eyes, a soft look of surprise and self-consciousness before moving forward to meet her.

She could hear the cheering of the new year around her but focused on nothing but her lips dragging over his, his tentative pressure on hers, and the sound of her heart thumping in her ears. She pulled back a little, finding Jayden eagerly pushing toward her again.

His lips against hers were clumsy, but he caught on quickly after a few seconds. He’d always been a quick study. For a second, panic moved into Bailey’s head, wondering if he was only offering due to pressure from others or from the holiday, but then he brought his hands up to gently rest on her lower back and he kissed her again and it went away.

They don't pull back for a long, long time.

Enough so they miss Mia announcing her engagement at the new year.

THE END

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

Nearly 1 billion people will go to bed hungry tonight.

We never ‘lose’ friends, we just learn who our real ones are.

The poorest Americans are still richer than 80% of the world.

Magic mushrooms grow in the gardens of Buckingham Palace.

One-third of Taiwanese funeral processions include a stripper.

51 cars a year overshoot and drive into the canals of Amsterdam.

In 1999, ‘mp3’ surpassed ‘sex’ as the most-searched term online.

According to her last wishes, Elizabeth Taylor arrived late for her own funeral.

Though sloths are known for their slowness, sloth sex lasts less than a minute. (30 seconds more than most men!)

Patience is not the ability to wait but how you act while you're waiting.

4000 children under the age of two are listed as owners of British companies.

Couples that tease each other gently often have happier, stronger relationships.

7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

The sentence "Are you as bored as I am?" can be read backwards and still makes sense.

There is a place in Norway called Hell and it regularly freezes over during the winter.

British adults spend (on average) one hour and 52 minutes of each day in a bad mood.

We are subconsciously more attracted to people who have the same taste in music as we do.

Millennials (those born between 1981-1996) are having less sex than their parents did at their age.

In 1982, 43% of fathers in the UK had never changed a nappy. By 2000, this had dropped to 3%.

Unhappy people tend to daydream about the past but happy people tend to daydream about the future.

A sapiosexual is a person attracted to intellectual or mental qualities rather than physical characteristics.

A person that truly loves you will never let you go or give up on you, no matter how hard the situation is.

90% of the time it's not the person you miss, it's the feelings and moments you had when you were with them.

The chemical resveratrol, which is present in red wine, has been found to boost sex drive and performance in men.

Most ‘laugh tracks’ for TV were recorded in the fifties, which means many of the people you hear laughing are no longer alive.

If you want to quit smoking, go to a sauna for three days in a row and you'll sweat out the nicotine, which will make it easier to quit.

Senior citizens in New Zealand can join ‘coffin clubs’, where they meet up once a week to make and decorate their own coffins.

During the Fastnacht parade in Germany’s Black Forest, people hit each other with inflated pigs’ bladders attached to dried bull penises.

'Euphoria' Season 3, 'The White Lotus' Season 3, and 'The Last of Us' Season 2 are being delayed due to the writers’ strike. (Just bloody pay them!)

Part of Rupert Murdoch’s divorce settlement with Jerry Hall states that she is not allowed to give plot ideas to the writers of ‘Succession’.

Countries around the globe celebrate their freedom on Independence Day, with the most common being independence from British rule.

The first recorded use of the word ‘woke’ - to mean well-informed - was in a New York Times glossary of “words you might hear in Harlem” from 1962.

Research shows that heterosexual men who learn to play extreme metal guitar are mostly motivated to do so in order to impress other heterosexual men.

A study of 7000 US adults has found that, after the COVID-19 pandemic, people have become less extroverted and less agreeable. (No shit, Sherlock!)

Ethiopian languages have a punctuation mark for sarcasm. It is called ‘temherte slaq’ and looks like an inverted exclamation mark. (Christ, I’d be using that all day!)

Bruno Mars’ 'Doo-Wops & Hooligans' has now spent 12 full years on the Billboard Top 200 album chart. It's the first debut studio album in history to reach this milestone.

In 1871, lawyer Clement Vallandigham was defending a client accused of murder. In demonstrating how the victim might have accidentally shot himself, he accidentally shot himself. He died. His client was acquitted.

In 2007, a Bosnian couple cheated on each other with each other. They had spent time in a chat room bonding about their marital woes. When they met in person, they found out the person they had been complaining to was their spouse. They got divorced.

The first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary included the word ‘cock’ but excluded ‘condom’. The male genitals were not considered taboo but contraception was a subject “too utterly obscene for the dictionary”.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[stampwithtami]

Hollyhocks & City Sights: Unleash Creativity with Our Newest Card Kits!

2 NEW KITS IN THE KITS COLLECTION Calling all craft enthusiasts! We're excited to introduce two new additions to our vibrant card making collection: the Hello Hollyhocks Kit and the City Sights Kit. Join us as we dive into the unique appeal of these fantastic kits and discover why the Stampin' Up Kits Collection is the ideal creative space for both beginners and seasoned crafters! HELLO HOLLYHOCKS KIT Celebrate the special people around you with the By Your Side Kit. Featuring lovely cat and dog designs, use this kit to make uplifting cards you can share with a pet loving friend, a relative, a special someone, and more! Choose a dog or cat die-cut image depending on which furry friend you or your recipient loves most, and complete your projects with embellishments and the stamped sentiment of your choice to create a card with the right message you want to share. Great for all occasions, you'll love the possibilities this kit offers!  PURCHASE KIT CITY SIGHTS KIT Ready to celebrate all the happy moments in life? The Hooray for Honeycomb Kit is for celebrating all the special moments, big or small! With colorful, bold designs featuring balloons, fruits, rainbows, suns, and more, there are so many possibilities to explore. It even includes paper honeycomb shapes and a glossy touch on some of the designs to make your cards even more authentic. Just pair with the die-cut images and the desired printed labels to celebrate the people around you!  PURCHASE KIT HOLLY HOCKS KIT DETAILS & VIDEO You're sure to bright up someone's day with the Hello Hollyhocks Kit! With colorful hollyhock designs, this kit's all-occasion cards can help you send a friendly hello or a note of thanks to flower-loving friends and loved ones. Pair the desired sentiment, designed die cuts, and images from the kit to quickly create timeless cards. The printed sentiments are available in English, French, German, and Dutch. Kit includes:* Predesigned projects * Step-by-step instructions* Precut pieces (No prep work! Get right to crafting)* Make 9 cards* 9 printed card bases* 9 printed envelopes* Folded card: 5-1/2" x 4-1/4" (14 x 10.8 cm)* Printed die-cut images and labels* Adhesive-backed sparkle gems* Enough adhesive to complete projectsProduct colors: Calypso Coral, Daffodil Delight, Flirty Flamingo, Old Olive, Petal Pink, Pretty Peacock PURCHASE KIT CITY SIGHTS KIT DETAILS & VIDEO Make all-occasion cards with the City Sights Kit. Featuring artistic cityscape designs in neutral colors, this kit has a masculine charm, and is great to anyone dreaming of big city skylines. Craft like an artist using the different elements from this kit. It's easy to wish a happy birthday or send a friendly note to a special someone! The printed sentiments are available in English, French, German, and Dutch. Kit includes:* City Sights Photopolymer Stamp Set* Pebbled Path Stampin’ Spot* Predesigned projects * Step-by-step instructions* Precut pieces (No prep work! Get right to crafting)* Make 8 cards: 4 each of 2 designs* 8 printed card bases* 8 printed envelopes* Folded card: 5-1/2" x 4-1/4" (14 x 10.8 cm)* Printed shaped die cuts and printed sentiments* Corrugated cardstock accent pieces* Copper metallic embellishments* Enough adhesive to complete projectsProduct colors: Basic Beige, Basic Black, Boho Blue, Copper Clay, Misty Moonlight, Pebbled Path Kits by Stampin’ Up! are perfect for new crafters, busy crafters, or crafters who want quick and easy projects. All-inclusive project kits have everything you need in one box! Give as a gift or try them yourself. Kits are while supplies last. Order today! PURCHASE KIT SEE ALL OF THE CURRENT KITS COLLECTION VIEW IN MY ONLINE STORE LEARN MORE ABOUT WHY KITS ROCK In a world that often rushes by, finding time for creative pursuits can be a challenge. Luckily, crafting kits have emerged as the ultimate solution for those seeking a creative outlet without the hassle of gathering supplies or requiring a dedicated crafting space. Here are the numerous benefits of crafting kits, highlighting why they have become the preferred choice for individuals of all ages. - Accessible Crafting for Everyone: Crafting kits, with their pre-designed, pre-cut, and all-inclusive nature, cater to both beginners and seasoned crafters. The easy-to-follow directions ensure a successful crafting experience without the need for an extensive collection of supplies, making creativity accessible to all. - Ideal Gifts for Every Occasion: Crafting kits, with their diverse themes and styles, make for thoughtful and versatile gifts. Whether for birthdays, holidays, or any special occasion, there’s a kit suitable for everyone, making it an ideal present for friends and family of all ages. - Crafting Anytime, Anywhere: Short on time, space, or both? Crafting kits provide a compact and convenient solution. These little boxes of creativity allow you to enjoy crafting without the need for a dedicated craft room. Take them on vacation, to family gatherings, or enjoy a crafting session in the comfort of your own home. - Diverse Options for Every Taste: With a wide array of kits to choose from, there’s something for every taste and preference. The variety ensures that there’s always a new and exciting project to look forward to, catering to the diverse interests of crafters. - Regular Releases for Ongoing Inspiration: Keep the excitement alive with regularly released kits. Whether it’s for the next holiday or changing seasons, there’s always something new and inspiring on the horizon. Stay engaged and motivated with fresh, innovative crafting projects. - Portability for Crafting on the Go: The portability of crafting kits is a game-changer. Take your creativity on the road and start crafting in minutes. Perfect for vacations, road trips, or impromptu crafting sessions with friends, these kits let you unleash your creativity anywhere. - Emergency Crafting Solutions: Find yourself in a card-making emergency? Having a crafting kit on hand means quick access to beautiful, easy-to-make cards. Never be caught off guard when you need a personalized touch for special occasions. - Revitalize Your Crafting Mojo: If you’re experiencing a creative slump, crafting kits can be the perfect remedy. The harmonious color combinations and easy crafting process can reignite your passion and inspire you to dive back into the world of crafting. - Perfect for Starting Your Crafting Journey: For those looking to embark on a card-making or paper crafting journey, kits provide the ideal starting point. They include everything you need to get started, offering a seamless introduction to the world of creative expression. - Reusable and Stylish Packaging: The crafting journey doesn’t end when the project is complete. The cute and sturdy boxes that house the kits can be easily repurposed for shipping or gift giving, adding an eco-friendly and stylish touch to your creations. Crafting kits offer a hassle-free, enjoyable, and portable way to unleash your creativity. Whether you’re a seasoned crafter or a beginner, these all-inclusive kits provide a delightful crafting experience that can be shared with friends and family. Explore the endless possibilities, and let the convenience of crafting kits enhance your creative journey, especially as the perfect starting point for your card-making and paper crafting adventures. STAMPIN’ UP KITS COLLECTION vs. PAPER PUMPKIN KIT SUBSCRIPTIONSWhat’s the Difference?  Stampin’ Up offers two fantastic options to cater to your artistic desires: the Kits Collection and the Paper Pumpkin Kits Subscriptions. Each option provides a unique crafting experience, and in this post, we’ll explore the key differences between the two. Stampin’ Up Kits Collection: Elevate Your Crafting Experience Experience the joy of crafting with Stampin’ Up Kits Collection, where creativity knows no bounds. These paper crafting kits are designed to make the creative process fun and easy, providing you with all the essentials to craft artistically designed handmade projects. Here’s what you can expect: - All-Inclusive Kits: The Kits Collection comes with everything you need, from step-by-step instructions to precut pieces, embellishments, and more. No need to worry about gathering supplies; it’s all conveniently included in the kit. - Diverse Selection: Choose the kit that suits your style and occasion. With a diverse assortment of options, the Kits Collection caters to a variety of themes and design preferences. New kits are regularly added each month, ensuring a fresh and exciting crafting experience each time. - Flexibility: Select the kit that aligns with your preferences and availability. The Kits Collection offers flexibility, allowing you to choose projects that resonate with your creative vision. - Purchase anytime: You can conveniently purchase the Kits Collection at any time through my online store. Simply browse the selection, choose the kit that speaks to you, and embark on your creative adventure. SHOP THE KITS COLLECTION Paper Pumpkin Subscription: Monthly Creative Surprises For those craving a regular injection of creative inspiration, the Paper Pumpkin Subscription is a monthly adventure that arrives at your doorstep. Key features include: SUBSCRIBE - Monthly Mail Delight: Subscribers receive a specially curated kit by mail every month. Each package includes designed projects, precut pieces, a stamp set, and ink. It’s like receiving a surprise creative adventure in your mailbox each month. - Exclusive Subscriber Benefits: Subscribers to Paper Pumpkin enjoy special perks, including access to exclusive products and offers. It’s a fantastic way to stay connected with the crafting community and unlock additional creative opportunities. - Endless Possibilities: Where will Paper Pumpkin take you this month? With a subscription, you’ll discover new techniques, themes, and crafting styles. It’s a journey of endless possibilities that keeps your creativity flowing. - Acrylic Block: Your first Paper Pumpkin kit will arrive with a reusable acrylic block for your stamps. - Refills: Depending on availability refills for each month’s kit are often available in my online store while they last. - Control: You have full control over your Paper Pumpkin subscriptions and can take a break / pause, cancel and rejoin at anytime. - Alternate Ideas: Go outside the box each month with me as I share alternate ideas for each Paper Pumpkin kit absolutely free on my blog. See my tutorial gallery here. - PPX Bonus Videos: When you subscribe to Paper Pumpkin kits through me, you’ll receive 6 additional videos for alternate projects to the kit. These PPX videos are exclusive and not available anywhere else. Paper Pumpkin kits have a deadline to subscribe each month by the 10th of the month in order to get that month’s kit. That month’s kit isn’t available after the deadline but depending on availability refills will be available in my online store.  LEARN MORE ABOUT PAPER PUMPKIN KITS IDEAS & NEWS FROM THE KITS COLLECTION MORE IDEAS & NEWS FROM THE KITS COLLECTION Read the full article

[pratibha191]

Best Bridal Lehenga And Choli

Bridal Lehengas: A Journey through Elegance and Tradition, an Enchanting Landscape

The realm of fashion is a canvas on which artistic imagination paints tales of tradition, culture, and beauty. The bridal lehenga stands out as a masterpiece among these bold strokes, perfectly expressing the spirit of richness and tradition. A bridal lehenga is more than just an attire; it is also a representation of Indian weddings' cultural richness, joy, and celebration of love. Let's explore the minute details, classic styles, and feelings that these ensembles arouse in this mesmerizing environment.

The captivating pairing of the lehenga and choli is at the center of the bridal lehenga attire. The bride's enormous lehenga, which flows beautifully around her, is the epitome of ethnic splendor.

Embodying Tradition: The Importance of the Bridal Lehenga

The bridal lehenga is more than just clothing; it is a container for custom, culture, and history. Its Indian ancestry serves as a nod to the bride's origins while also representing her entry into a new stage of life. Red is the most common color used as a symbol in the selection of colors. Red denotes good fortune, fertility, and happy marriage. However, modern brides are adopting a variety of colors to showcase their unique personalities, from pastels to jewel tones.

The bridal lehenga is transformed from apparel to artwork by a designer's creative touch. Designer lehengas for brides represent innovation while preserving the fundamentals of tradition. These works result from the merging of

While red remains a timeless choice, the modern bride dares to embrace the kaleidoscope of colors that reflect her personality. Blush pinks, royal blues, mint greens, and regal golds now adorn the bridal lehenga palette. These colors dance in harmony with the wedding's mood and theme, enhancing the visual splendor of the event. Each shade tells a different story, evoking emotions and sentiments that contribute to the overall aura of the celebration.

Weaving Dreams: Lehengas Beyond Borders

The allure of bridal lehengas transcends geographical boundaries. The elegant blend of tradition and contemporary designs has made them a favorite among not only Indian brides but also those from diverse cultures who seek an extraordinary ensemble for their special day. The lehenga choli has seamlessly woven itself into the global tapestry of wedding attire, with brides across the world embracing its charm.

After the Wedding: Lehenga Love Survives

The bridal lehenga is a jewel that endures; it is not only worn on the wedding day. As it is handed down through the years, it develops into a beloved treasure that carries the memories of love, joy, and celebration. In order to recapture the romance and emotion associated with their big day, brides frequently convert their bridal lehengas and sarees or other clothes.

In conclusion, bridal lehengas are a tapestry made of threads representing tradition, elegance, and individuality. Each component, from the precise craftsmanship to the varied color palette, adds to the symphony of feelings that characterizes a wedding. The bridal lehenga is more than just an outfit; it's also a celebration of culture, a work of art, and an expression of the bride.

[sapphiren]

@darksonofsparda :

Although the two of them had been married for quite a few years now, the married couple still maintained their signature trait of insulting each other, only this time, it was out of playful spite rather than for the sole purpose of irritating the other, and while that did still happen, nothing was ever taken personally, and they never hated each other, in fact, they loved very much and knew what to expect from the other.

From an outsider's perspective, it would almost seem like they weren't married at all with how they acted, as well as the fact that no one really saw them being affectionate in public, not that the two were opposed to that sort of thing, it did happen but was juts usually limited to holding hands, or Edna holding Vergil's arm with the occasional quick kiss on the lips, a longer one if there wasn't a single soul in sight. Vergil and Edna much preferred to show their love for the other in private, away from prying eyes so they were free to enjoy all the privacy they so desired.

Who would have thought, that a world he ended up in by accident, would eventually become his new home, that didn't become the case until Vergil and Edna became a couple. Vergil had originally planned to go back home, but after realizing his love for Edna, he changed his mind, and now, life was never better. Over the years, Vergil had adjusted very well into this new world, and after being here for a bit of a long time now, he couldn't see himself anywhere else but here living a happy life with Edna by his side, the Earth Seraph that had managed to steal his heart and give him a brand new purpose here.

One of the things Vergil found about this world was that they also celebrated Christmas here, much to his surprise, they even had the tradition of gift giving too. Vergil ended up taking part in that tradition and purchased gifts for the people in his group, those people, in particular, being the same mutual friends that he and Edna knew through Sorey, the people who had fought alongside them during the Shepherd's quest that was years ago now.

Because Edna was his precious wife, Vergil always made sure to give her a gift every year, only this time would be different. This year, he planned to do something for her that he'd never done before along with her gift, and it had taken him a lot to decide on doing this. Having ordered her gift days earlier, Vergil just picked it up yesterday, just in time for Christmas.

Bracing himself mentally to prepare himself, he calls out to Edna catching her attention. Blue eyes watch her enter the room, following her gaze as she approaches him, stopping in her tracks in front of him as she looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes, wearing her usual nonchalant expression like always. Taking a deep breath, Vergil pulls out a journal, after he opened it, he flipped to the middle page that had one side completely covered in neat penmanship - it was an original poem that Vergil has made specifically for Edna and began to read to her.

[{ 🗡️ }] - "My dangerous flower. So beautiful, so poisonous. I bow to you in the moonlit landscape, I sleep with you in the sun-bleached terrain. I call to you, kissing your petals. I call to you, the venom burning my lips, The smile on my face burning to kiss you again, The look in my eyes hoping you'll honor me once more, my hands yearning to hold yours, I instead pull you close. I again, kiss you, the poison makes me calm, the poison calms my soul, my darling orchid, my midnight flower, I love you so."

With the most difficult part now over, Vergil sets the journal down on the table and reaches into his inner jacket pocket, pulling out a medium-sized white jewelry box, he hands it over to her, wearing a rare smile curved across his lips. Inside, Edna would find a custom-made, silver orchid flower bracelet bangle, it had a blue sapphire gem between every flower on the bracelet, and the little chain at the end had a silver nameplate attached to it that held an elegant and carefully carved engraving of her name in beautiful font style.

[{ 🗡️ }] - "Merry Christmas my darling little orchid." Lowering his head significantly so he was within her height's reach, Vergil leans his head forward, their lips meeting as he gives Edna a passionate Christmas kiss.

Though they are both quite the skeptical type, one thing that Edna has learned over the years about Vergil is that he takes Christmas very seriously— perhaps because of his inability to celebrate it with his family much before disaster struck.

Edna herself never had really made a point to bother with human holidays, at least not until she found herself entangled with a half-human. At first she was incredibly weirded out by the whole thing, thinking that it was all about being disgustingly mushy— especially when it came to Valentine's Day, but at least that one meant she got some good chocolate to eat.

As the years have passed, she has grown accostumed to how these things work in the human world— and her comments about the weirdness have mostly fizzled out, albeit she still mentions such a thing sometimes when Vergil does something particularly over the top.

Then again, isn't he the king of being over the top, even if it's normally the edgy type of over the top?

It's when she sees her husband walk up to her during Christmas day that she thinks— 'Ah, it's time'. Time for mushy Vergil, an spectacle she gets to watch a few times every year. And yet the bastard manages to make her rather embarrassed nearly every time.

What she doesn't expect is for him to pull out his journal, which she knows stores his precious poems, and then start reciting one of them, clearly dedicated to her. Big blue eyes watch him as he speaks, showing the slightest hint of surprise, as he isn't one to recite them, and especially not to her.

"To think the day would come when you would actually gather the courage to recite a poem to me, hm?" There's some amusement in her voice— but it isn't the mocking type. Rather, she seems positively impressed. "I have to say... you just might have a talent for it. Just might."

Edna's attention turns to the gift that is handed to her that, were she the type to show her emotions on her face, would cause her to perhaps come to the point of crying. The symbology, the care to represent well what her name is about— the name her brother had given to her all those hundreds of years ago— doesn't go unnoticed.

A small smile of her own makes its way to her lips as she analyzes the bracelet, and before she can hand Vergil his gift, she's kissed— a kiss that she returns in earnest, of course, but before the half-demon can go any further, she pushes a gift box his way.

"Before I forget— here. Merry Christmas." A deadpan delivery, but the fact that she isn't looking Vergil in the eye does mean that she is rather embarrassed, and frankly, a little nervous to know if he'll actually like what she got him.

Well... made for him.

Inside the medium-sized box is a folded jacket— much in the style Vergil likes to wear, but a different color than the one he typically wears. A darker shade of blue, nearly black, with distinct patterns in white.

"They represent lilies, but I made the pattern more edgy for you, so you should thank me." She boasts, having chosen said flowers because of the meaning of Vergil's name.

After a moment, she turns completely away from him.

"...I swear I'll never understand humans. Why do you go through this willingly every year?"

It's too embarrassing, but she won't admit it.

Unprompted // always accepting.

[popculturebuffet]

Hatchetfield Retrospective: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals: I Mean What The Fuck?

SPOILER WARNING FOR ALL HATCHEFIELD PRODUCTIONS PRE-NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Hello all you happy people and tonight we're gonna chronicle a story so astronomical, though thankfully not the last remaining story to tell as I celebrate spooky season by kicking off a look at one of the best new horror franchises to pop up. While I took a brief look at this series back in 2020 with the first episode of nightmare time, I think it's time I booked an extended stay in the tiny town of Hatchetfield for a full on retrospective. So get your cups of roasted coffee, pre-order that Tickle Me Wiggly, book your tickets to Watcher World and roll a fatty bowl of Perky's Buds as I take a look at this weird, wonderful world of horror, comedy, showstopping numbers and telling Clivesdale to rightly go fuck itself with the first stop on our tour, the musical that started it all by ironically being about a guy who doesn't much care for them. A Brief History of Starkid and Hatchetifield

So before we get to the horrifying tale of life becoming a musical, we need to look at the weirdos behind the curtain of this wonderful series of plays, zoomcasts and I assume tales Nick Lang shouts to his brother over zoom at 3 in the morning we might see someday, Starkid Productions Aka Team StarKid aka "Aren't those the guys who made that weird harry potter musical?". Most of you are well aware of who they are and their rough history, most of you also likely better than I but since I like to keep these reviews accessible and since some of my audience read whatever I put out regardless of if they gave one pigfart about it going in

It all began at the University of Michigan, GO BLUE! I don't have a connection to it myself but after watching about 80 hours of dead meat you start doing that on reflex. It was here while reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire a nerd by the name of Nick Lang wondered "hey woudln't it be funny if Draco bullied hermione because he liked her" This lead to this group writing the song granger danger, and deciding "Hey this could make a fun musical". Hence a Very Potter Musical was born. Nick asked his buddy Darren Criss to use some of his songs (One from a previous project Little White Lie), which snowballed into Darren both doing a lot of the music and playing Harry Freaking Potter himself.

What was supposed to be a fun goofy side project by a bunch of dedicated nerds became an internet sensation and thus Team StarKid was born, deciding they could keep this going: staging musicals at school then throwing them up online for other nerds. Naturally another Harry Potter musical followed and finding out abotu these and devouring the soundtracks, a twelve years younger and less sad but far more unteitonally creepy towards women me found thees musicals, laughed his ass off and was a fan from that day forward. While I wouldn't watch the next few shows I would listen to the soundtracks and followed starkid for a bit.

While the team would face the setback of Darren moving on to Glee, which I was watched at the time so at least I got to hang on to him even as he hung ont o a show slowly falling off the earth and into it's molten core where the lava men tore ita part piece by piece, it still held firm, moving on to musicals about Sentient Genitals, space bugs wanting to break the status quo, the goddamn batman wanting to be somebody's buddy, Achmed the tiger fucking man, an interquel for star wars that's also an inspiring 80's movie, waking up with mud on your dick and not wanting to do the work today. All were anchored by goofy alternate takes on the characters they were parodying, suprising amoutns of heart, a talented if sometimes shifting crew, and of course Nick Lang, who along with his rarely seen because he shy and now he in kanas brother matt, wrote the musicals and Nick directed a few himself.

So naturally when Nick decided to relocate to LA, in part because some of the troupe like longtime member and certified Chad Joey Richter were already there and likely to shake things up, half the troupe went with him and the other stayed behind, amicably parting ways and with Merdith Stephin, who'd been a big part of things returning with their partner for VHS Christmas Carol later and the upcoming Jangle Ball tour. Sadly they soon lost another member as long time Starkid and sex machine Joe Walker retired from acting. So in a tight spot with half the troupe gone, Nick decided to swing for the fences and thus decided to shift genres slightly: from goofy parody comedy's with heart (and the occasional original), to an intrictatley built shared horror comedy multiverse. After spitballing a lot of ideas for the setting, Hatchetfield was born and three ideas for musicals came out of it mostly formed: Nerdy Prudes Must Die, Black Friday.. and this very one. Despite coming third in ideas, TGWDLM was decided to be the first of the series, to test to see if audiences would take to it with it's accessible premise.

The result.. was a massive hit, ushering in a new era of starkid, fresh fans, and a return to prominence after it dimmed somewhat. Hatchetfield gave the group new life, and over time they've picked up even more members and came out swinging stronger than ever, having done Black Friday the year after, spun the franchise off into the webcast series nightmare time during the height of the pandemic, and now going into it's third musical next year with Nerdy Prudes Must Die. As I write this it's kickstarter is still going and has reached it's goal, but to help the Lang Shang A Langs reach their stretch goal i'm offering you a deal: For every three of you starkids who sends me a screenshot of you either pledging or upping your pledge (I myself can't go over 5) I promise to review another starkid musical at some point beyond the Hatchetfield Series, starting at the back with A Very Potter Musical and going up, and to sweeten the pot if you hit them all i'll also cover the tin can bros productions too. So if you want a lot of nostalgia, cringing and jokes at a Transphobes expense while supporting a work that is very much everything she isn't, my ask box is open.

Hatchetfield means a lot to me: I ran into it in 2020 just as my love of horror was really ramping up, having really loved the trailer for Black Friday and watching TGWDLM first in case I needed to see it. Which you can watch either on their own, their both standalone works but it works better in order given the crowd pops any time something from TGWDLM gets referenced. It got me back into starkid and while I still need to crawl through the massive backlog of shows i've missed, what i've found is wonderful and i've found these wonderful PEIPS have kept going and kept an honest to god comradery and love for one another that's commendable. And it was thanks to that I got to feel that love again. See how these people had grown and gotten even awesome with time as we talk about the man whose name is in the title whose destined to go viral and the waking nightmare he finds himself in. A Story So Astronomical

Before we can open this musical's tummy and get into it's blue guts, we have to get down to brass tacks nad break down what exactly happened here.

TGWDLM is the story of Paul Matthews, an average man living an average life as an office drone in Hatchetfield. He spends his days with Bill, his struggling single dad best friend whose desperate to reconnect with his daughter, Ted, the office walking erection who dosen't seem to get Paul wants nothing to do with him , and Charlotte, a meek and saddeningly frazzled woman whose in a loveless failing marriage to her cop husband , having an affair with Ted to try the fill the void. Working hard for the mildly obnoxious Bill Lumberg impersonator Mr. Davidson, Pauls' only real refuge is Beanies, a local cafe that makes a nice carmel frappe and more importantly to Paul, employs his crush Emma, a cynical barista who hates the place's musical gimmick understandably as while unlike Paul I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE musicals, minimum wage food service jobs are already draining and obnoxious, adding being forced to sing to it no matter how tired you are or obnoxious the customer sounds like my own personal hell.

Also around are a green piece girl who in trying to brush her off Paul pisses off instead, a man in a hurry, and Peter who badly needs his hot chocolate for his low blood sugar. I can relate to peter. Can't wait to properly meet him when I get around to watching Abstinance Camp. Yes folks I'm that behind on Nightmare Time Season 2, you may boo. Soundtrack's dope though.

Things quickly change though when a meteor crash lands on the starlight theater, and the next day in excellent horror fashion Paul slowly notices something… just isn't right, starting with a whole ass group musical number. We'll get to the songs in their own sectoin much like Starkids closest spirtual cousin the muppets, and it soon esclates to being forced to sit there while his boss grins like ti's the ending credits of pearl and tells Paul how he wants his wife to choke him out at night while Paul slowly dies inside in real time.

Paul starts to grasp the implications of everything having turned into a musical and infected everyone, but it takes Emma a moment… till she finds her boss and coworker, now also part of the extradimensional hive mind, poisoning their customers mid-musical number and planning to infect her too. Our heroes barely escape through some human shaped bushes and Emma finally grasps the implications.

They thankfully find other survivors in Bill, Ted and Charlotte, though that's all the good news they have: Downtown's been swarmed and when Charlotte calls her husband for help.. and instead gets a musical number about how their cops and they make sense

Our heroes, like most citzens barely survive their encounter with the cops, scarring them off after Ted brains Sam's brains out of his head with a trash can lid. Needing help and with the hospital being downtown at the heart of the swarm, our heroes instead go to Emma's kooky college instructor Professor Hidgens, the star of the show and a survivalist fringe scientist who foresaw this exact sort of apocalypse and thus built up his estate on the edge of town to be ready for it, including booze. I mean what's an apocalypse if you can't get hammered right? I don't drink but I feel the apocalypse is one of those "code red" situation where even if you don't, you need to get blazed anyway. Liked if Keith David dies. I'm still convinced he's immortal but in a year that's been constantly punching me in the dick via Warner Bros Discovery, i've learned not to take anything for granted.

So Paul and Emma get closer and get all snuglay, Bill threatens to kick Ted in the head, and soon Charlotte makes things far worse after Sam singing the only bad song in the musical at her somehow dosen't make her run screaming but gets her to free him. We then get one of the best as the Hive gets fed up with the soft touch and just plans to murder them all, but in horror rock paper scissors "guy with the gun" beats monster anytime, and Hidgens saves them. Our party ends up having to split as stupid as that sounds as Bill finds out Alice is still in town and in downtown, so he and Paul go to save her, Emma stays behind at Hidge's instince to disect the corpses and Ted stays because wellll

Though he DOES point out there likely isn't an Alice left and this is a suicide mission

And I do mean sad as they find Alice already infected and proceding to sing a whole song about how her dad sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms, how it's his fault she ended up here, and pressing every parental parent button and insecurity bill has. The poor guy reaches for a gun as a result and luckily, Paul, in an incredibly heartbreaking scene, talks his friend out of such.

Unfortunately neither of them in the state they were in thought to WATCH said gun so Bill dies seconds later and it's only the military showing up that prevents Paul from sharing the same fate. While Paul gets a gun butt to the head, Emma gets some MMMMM Drugs and wakes up tied to a chair, with Ted likewise. I mean he's into it but he's gotta be asked first. It's just common courtsey. Turns out Hidgens is on the creatures side.. he's not hived but the idea of a musical seeming utopia where everyone is happy, ther'es no traffic accidents, the trains run on time , is wonderful and plans to lure the aliens here. How he does it is with one of the best piecs in musical theater. We'll again get to that later, but thankfully our heroes manage to escape while the hive is distracted with Hidgens and opens his tummy.

Paul might have a way out though as the Miltary Man he meets is the gruff but loveable and resonable John Macnamara, who works for PEIP, your standard issue extranormal government organization that covers weird shit like this. HIs orders are to murder anyone he sees and let god sort out the corpses, but

And gives Paul an out, especailly after hearing how sweet he is on emma: he has a few hours to grab her, GET TO THE CHOPPA, and escape before they nuke the place as god intented. Well the Judeo-Christian god. The god with a thumb in this pie wants a musical apocalypse.

Paul gets back to the others with the news and allows Ted to come. This goes as badly as you'd expect as Ted tries betraying them and taking the chopper himself

Naturally given this is a horror work, this gets Ted killed by the hive who already have McNamara and a few of his PEIPS by the time he gets there. They sing a very unsbtle and unsettling song while our heroes barely escape.. only to get further proof that Pokey isn't the only god who hates Paul as it turns out the pilot is Hive!Zoey who crashes, leaving Paul as the only thing that MIGHT be able to stop this: Hidge , as reinfieldy as he was, theroized the meteor, the source of the Blue Shit and thus the hive, must be the hive queen. Blowing it up real good might be a good shot

What follows is more soul destruction… seriously when I first watched this only being familiar with the earlier starkid works, I had no idea the emotoinal punch in the scrotum I was in for, as Paul gets infected and has to fight his inner depressiona nd the hive and seemingly wins, blowing up the theater and seemingly the hive.

Emma survives, and is reunited with Paul and is happy.. for about 5 seconds. In a tragic and horrifying twist ending Paul survived, everyone else apparently did too… and Emma is left to scream futilely in horror for help as her fate is left uncertain and the world… is left to be united by a singular voice, who in a deep void far away laughs musically having finally gotten his leading man.

Scary If You Think of the Implications

So you might of noticed with the synopsis the tone of the musical: Nick was very clever here as he likely knew both people coming in from other starkid works and people who came in fresh, like my friend @jess-the-vampire who I got to join the hive here and at least interested in checking out more of Hatchetfield and starkid, Twisted in particular since we're both big into disney and the idea there was an entire number about the guy who showed up all of once to have a tiger bite his ass made her laugh, would expect this to be way goofier than it was. Even I despite spoiling myself on how it ended before I watched it, wasn't prepared.

TGWDLM is still a comedy to it's bones, with both great jokes I remembered vividly from the first time like the ENTIRETY of what do you want paul (I struggled not to loose my damn shit the first time I heard Davidson say he wanted his wife to choke him while he jerked off while Paul prayed for death but death won't come in the background), "Kick your head" (With Corey and Joey absolutely killing me, especially Joey as Ted hams it up to high heaven),Ted's love of workin boys, Working Boys itself, "I'm professor hidgens!' and more, as well as a few I forgot like "I don't want to die in your filthy presbeterian church", Jon's impecable background acting, and "He didn't want to go like this. He wanted to do what he loved: getting choked by his wife while he masturbates!". It's also delightfully meta with every song being some form of standard brand of Musical song, something i'll break down more when we get to the songs themselves.

It strikes a good tone for a horror comedy: the situation is rediculous enough to generate tons of laughs, but also still GENUINELY horrifying and heartwrenching. It dosen't forget it's either. It's not the depth either as character depth is something that dates back to Very Potter which somehow turned Voldermort from pure unrelnting horrifying evil to a guy whose still evil but also struggles with his sexuality and missing his partner. No what catches you off guard, is the horror. With Horror Comedy you can vary a lot. Take the Chucky Franchise for instance. 2 is a horror comedy, but still leans heavier on the horror aspect, with Chucky still taken dead seriously despite now cracking one liners, Bride leans more into the camp and gore, and Seed just went full on insanity and camp with no real horror to be found apart from Chucky's treatment of his own family. You can vary in just how much you have. TGWDLM strikes me as where the franchise is now: it takes itself seriously, but isn't afraid to still throw jokes in there for contrast or just for fun, being dead serious when it needs to be and hilarious when it doesn't, and sometimes mixing the two.

The premise on paper sounds goofy but like Paul says it's when you think of the implications it gets bad and the show does a great job of doing this: When the Hive first shows up in "La Dee Da Day", it's goofy and played for laughs: it' is mildy creepy everyone's acting like it's a musical, but it's mostly funny for Paul's utter confusion, the homeless man talking about how he "used to want to kill them all while high on bath salt zombie drugs snacking on a dead mans face" and even as dark as THAT gets Paul's horrified flat what brings it right back around.

It's only when Charlotte gives a monologue about how sam not sounding like himself in the shower really underved her that it starts to get serious, but the next scene shifts back to comedy.. while uppping the discomfort. Now the Hive is directly trying to convert paul, and while it's done in the most hilarious manner possible, the grin splattered on Davidsons face, the fact he can't remember what he wanted once he stops singing, and the clear instiance of him joining them are unsettling And then.. we get the coffee shop scene. This is why I say it' sby design: the langs knew audience expectations.. .probably figured the horror part woudln't be a true factor here.

Instead what starts being only mildly unsettling (Emma unknowingly singing with what the audeince can tell are hive infected co workers).. only for it to slowly ramp up: they perform complicated manuvers she wasn't ready for and when she tries to quit.. they tel lher she can't.. and then in a cheery monotone explain they POISONED everyone else and gladly sing while several people die aorund them are are reborn with a singular voice. The terror on Emma's face combined with the various patrons going from choking to death to slowly JOINING IN one by one on the how do you do.. it's truly impressive and not being a sfamiliar with the fandom if we haven't talked about how great this scene is before we damn well should.

We get one last respite with show me your hands but from then on the comedy almost never comes from the hive again, something that didn't hit me till just now: the rest of the comedy comes from Sensei Bill, show stopping numbers and other things with only the "All your friends are here" bit in the climax being a hive involved joke. It shows the Hive's slow evolution horrifically as it goes from bumblingly comedic if still horrifying, From here on it WEAPONZIES our heroes despairs hopes and needs: it prays on Charlotte's desperate desire both for her husband to live and for him to actually love her again, turning her. It prays on Bill's love of his daughter to lure him and his difficulties as a parent to utterly destroy him, it uses PEIP and the helicopter to nearly kill emma, uses Paul's last ditch plan to infect him.. and uses him to twist the knife one last time fo rour ending. Every time our heroes have hope the Hive uses it against them, which gets more ingenious when you think about how most horror works, including a lot of the other hatchetfield stories, go: Even if our heroes may loose eventually the ones who survive or at least make it to the end don't give up, keeping going, and use hope, determination and grit to survive. Here the Hive uses that AGAINST them. It's again where the balance is effective: when you stop to think about it, this work is ENTIRELY bleak, but thanks to the comedy you don't. It only hits you later when you have no escape from it, just as our heroes have no escape from The Hive, Pokey.. or themselves.

Production wise TGWDLM is stripped down, and by design: with a new tone, new cast members and a new venue, the StarKids had a lot to work out with this one, so the costumes are the simple kinds they could rent or make cheapley, the effects are minimal, the blue shit very clearly being homeade slime, sam's brain apparently falling out repdatedly during one performance and most other things being pantomimed, and the set is even more so, simply some colored lights on cube.

It works perfectly though: the lack of props in places like typewriters in the helicopter and elsewhere is played ENTIRELY for laughs, and the lack of detail in places like the cups of poisoned coffee or hidgens getting his stomach torn to pieces leaves it to the audeince to imagine just how horrific those things are. Sometimes what you can make a persons mind do can surpass what your budget can, a staple of horror. It's no shock one of Hatchetfields primary influences is the similarly cheap for it's first two instalments evil dead franchise, with Rami's tenants of horror not only guiding the stories here but ending up as part of the cannon later. While StarKid is FAR from strangers of stretching a budget, TGWDLM is easily the second most impressive example of that with only nightmare time, operating on nothing for it's first season as far as I could tell surpassing it. That leaves us with the acting and music, which naturally given Starkid is both a very actorcentric group and a very musical one, need their own sections. The Stars of the Show

Starting with the man whose name is in the title whose destined to go viral , we have Paul Matthews, played by Starkid Newcomer Jon Mattenson. While a fresh face to the StarKid verse Jon to my lack of surprise was a long time stage actor before this, doing a series of one man shows including one I hope someone has video of Shark Tank: The Musical. Given he was performing in Chicago at the time it didn't take long for him to meet future fellow starkids Lauren and Jeff, with Jeff even doing the music for Jon's one man show, which i'm also adding to the "stuff I will do if you help up those backer numbers." So naturally when Starkid needed new members, he was a perfect fit.

Jon instantly feels like he belongs too: it takes a LOT to come into an experienced group and play lead on your first show, even more when your in a musical but do not get to sing until the final act. But by god Jon not only pulls it off but easily commands the entire play. And it's not that everyone else is bad. Far from it, as usual the rest of the StarKids bring it and we'll get to their performances. But as Paul, Jon utterly brings it: Paul is a layered guy being entirely boring and sedate in the office and while a tad awkward with Emma he also manages to be utterly charming, with Jon and Lauren having wonderful chemistry. You get why despite his very thin excuse for coming here and her seeing right through it she likes the guy who doesn't like musicals, and why Paul has friends and quickly becomes the group's surrogate leader: while he's an utterly normal guy, he's a likeable one, one who clearly cares for his friends.. and Ted because he kinda has to. He can be awkward but usually only when really freaked out. It's remarkable just HOW layered this character came off on second watch: first time around I liked Paul but second I fucking loved this guy.

A big part of this is background acting. While it's a common and valuable skill, especially in a comedy, Jon takes it to another level: As Jess pointed out to me every scene with him, every background movement is paul and whether hte's terrified of what's going on around him and worried for his crush's safety or DEEPLY uncomfortable because his boss is talking about jerking off, there's something to dissect and pull from. Jon is just that terrific and actor and I feel despite how talented this troupe is NO ONE else could've played paul like Jon. This is one of those performances only the actor who gave it could give.

And of course his peak is with Let It Out, where Jon effortlessly bounces between the real paul, terrified of both what he's becoming and what it's awakening, and his smiley nightmarish body invader. The effortless switching between the two in face is just mesmerising: you can't look away even if you badly want to as Paul struggles desperatley to defeat himself.. and is loosing. You have to wait the whole musical to hear Jon sing but once he does it's clear he wasn't cast as paul because he wasn't a great singer.. but because he was such a great actor.

Paul as a character is surprisingly deep: as part of the musicals meta commentary on musicals themselves Paul seems to be your typical lead stuck in a dead end situation he needs to dream his way out of. The probelm for the hive and paul himself is he really DOSEN'T know what he wants ,Paul. What he wants to actually DO with his life beyond work in an office job he dosen't seem especially happy at and maybe marry someone. IT's also realistic as Paul as most people struggle with what they really want and most who end up in an office drone job like Paul simply needed a job. And while he seems content working the job and hating musicals, as seen by the fact he still works it in every other relality after this with the only change being actually getting to connect with Emma before the apocalypse hits, one line in "Let It Out" makes it PAINFULLY clear:

"I've Never Been Happy, Wouldn't That Be Nice?

It's easy to see Paul trying to use having a steady job or finding a partner as a patch for the fact he feels deeply unhappy and alone and needs something to help him along. Yet a partner can't fix that for you ,as i've had to learn and said job isn't exactly plesant. Sometimes having depression, and in my case (and possibly pauls as there are signs), autisim, means you try to stave off the encroaching darkness with something, anything to make it better. It dosen't mean Paul CAN'T find enjoyment in his job, he met his best friend and niece there, is clearly on great terms with charlotte and Ted… well okay he has to deal with the constant smells of axe bodyspray and jizz coming from his office but 2/3 ain't bad. And he and Emma do have genuine chemistry. There's a reason their together in the next timeline and all. These aren't bad things and in fact probably hlep, but their a patch to a larger problem. It's telling a planned nightmare time story for him had him fantasies via dream machine that he was an 8 foot antrophormic squirrel living out howard the duck because the only person everyone loved without any strings attached was Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel

It shows someone with depression can function but that paul probably needs counseling. It also does show his grit though: despite his depression and anxiety, he keeps going, keeps trying and despite hating the genre dosen't stop actually watching Musicals if you look closely. He knows the lyrics to "There You Are" as seen when hidgens makes everyone sing it and has seen Mamma Mia. It's something you fine folks pointed otu and Jon clearly agrees with: while he may not like musicals he dosen't stop trying. Paul is a wonderful character and I hope he gets a happy ending eventually.. or at least that if Nightmare Time ever returns he gets a happy ending for a change.

Next up is EMMMMA! Emma is played by Lauren Lopez, one of the three longtime starkids and has been in every play except one, and that one's a technicality I throw out of her flawless record as Starkid experimented with doing two smaller shows at once, and even as amazingtastic as Lauren is.. she can't clone herself. YET. While she's spent the bulk of Starkid history playing either crossdressing rolls or just plain weird ones, from best boy Draco Malfoy, to a verison of Apu from aladdin that needs to be put down due to clearly having contracted the Motiva virus, to Comissioner Gordon, she had quite the career with her roll in Starship being the only acception I can think of once the shows got started proper.

This would change after Firebringer, her first starring role in a starkid show and since sh'es played usually adult or teenage women. Why?

Maybe Nick and Matt wanted to let her stretch creatively, maybe they just got tired of that bit and wanted to let Lauren try different things. Maybe there's no real reason to it and it's just a thing that happened. I dunno. Maybe i'll be lucky enough to get to ask Lauren herself someday, i'd be honored to interview any starkid past or present.

Point is the transition didn't loosen her timing nor her talent one iota. While I can't speak on her role in firebringer as I haven't seen it yet, I can say Emma is one of her best rolls and they only reason I can't say for certain it's the best is that she somehow equaled herself with the next play and I have no idea wether Emma or Linda is better.

Emma is a complex character at first seemingly like just a jaded minimum wage worker who only seems to like exactly two people in the world: Paul because he's likely the only person she serves all day that seems to treat her like a human being, and Hidgens because he's charming, nice and probably is a fantastic guy to get high with. Like seriously, I bet Hidgens let's her test growing weed in the back of his fancy ass bunker mansion. HFPD is'nt going to come up there, their stretched as is covering Sam's midlife crisis.

She's guarded as hell but yet charming: anyone whose worked minimum wage can tell you it blows and the Langs amazingly perfectly captured what it's like to work that kind of job in your late 20's, working for those who don't respect you and those way younger than you. Throw in your depressoin, anxiety and autisim all swirling to make the frantic pace of food service near impossible and forcing me to get disablity, and it'd basically me be just without spitting in the food or slacking off.

Emma's mostly there to get them to hidgens, have wonderful chemistry with paul and make one liners, but she's still utterly endearing, with Lauren having tons of great deliveries and it being clear this situation is a LOT to pack in, that sure it's funny to watch.. but the sheer stress of it would break anyone.

And while her goal of leaving this town isn't exactly new, her REASON for it and wantin ga weed farm (since it'll be local nation wide soon as she put it and with Biden outright saying he's going after criminal charges for it recently, likely readying to do just that, she fucking called it), are heartbreaking: She was always cynical and not wanting to be caught in her older more succesful family minded sister Jane's shadow, she left… and then refused to come back. And kept doing so…. till FLASH, BANG, Jane…. was in a box and emma came back to mourn her. It sums up death painfully well: that you think you have all the time with a person in the world but sometimes.. it just… it comes up short. Thankfully of the two people i've lost neither were estranged from me but it still hurts not getting to say goodbye and it's clear emma carries a LOT of guilt and thus decided to make something of her life before it was gone.

Jane's death is also a masterful example of stealth setup. It's what i'm now calling when something is setup for later in a franchise or series, but it's not obvious at the time. It's something you likely want expanded but don't realize the creators not only plan to but always did. When watching this even KNOWING Black Friday was a coming I just didn't think that Emma's brother in law would end up not only being a main character but someone who'd help really solidify hatchetfield as a setting. Nor that he'd be played by Dumbledore but that was just pure luck. Nor that he'd end up fucking his wife's ghost possessing a car via the cupholders.

Strange times. Emma is perfectly played, being snarky and standofish as usual at times, utterly sweet with paul, and naturally terrified with any. And while Jon is clearly the background acting mvp here, Lauren deserves props for Emma's combination of horror and "what the fuck am i watching" during Workin boys"

Next up we have Ted.

Ted is played by my boy Joey Richter, another Starkid long timer and while he's missed a few more shows than his fiance, he's still one of their MVP's, starting as a headbanded Ron Weasley broing it out with harry and becoming over time a starship ranger, a kid who talks to his sentient penis, and of course his finest hour, about TWENTY diffrent rolls in the Trail To Oregon. That's not hyperbole: due to the play's stripped down cast, there were only 6 actors (The others being Lauren, Merdeith stephin whose not in this play nor a full time member of the group, though they did come back for A VHS Christmas Carol, Jeff Blim,Jamie Lynn Beatty and Corey Dorris in his best roll to date), and the other 5 were all mains with Jamie having a very small second part and Corey having a sizeable one. In contrast Joey had to play EVERY. OTHER. PART. Which included one song, independence, that was him taking on about 15 diffrent rolls, and had a rapid fire bit, and the role of main villian mcdoon, getting one of his best songs in Wagon on Fire as Result. The man is a fucking god and I hope he and Lauren are very happy together, having been together for years but only gone public with it two years ago to announce their engagment. Given the fandom had been shipping them, not their characters THEM, since AVPM the squee could be heard from the red planet mars.

So i'ts no shock Joey kills it as the office's walking erection, wearing his now trademark mustache, something he's worn in most roles since to the point many assumed he wouldn't be taking over as Peter in NPMD apparently.. forgetting you know.. shaving's a thing. Jeff Blim's shaved and that likely took 80 razors and the will of mighty thor himself to get done.

Joey just has the perfect smarmy accent for ted, one I can't place but juts fits him so well and while being the standard "survivior who no one really likes and is waiting for to die" Joey's charm and charisma make him tolerable and enjoyable. It helps he's not USELESS. While he does betray our heroes for his own selfish needs later, bastard and all, he doe smake some good if dickish points, trying to get Charlotte to see that her husband is well and truly gone (even if it's to sleep with her) and pointing out that Alice is likely already dead and saving her is a suicide mission, which it sadly was. His putting it in the most dickish way possible means it never really takes, but it's nice to show that as much of a bastard as he is, ted isn't entirley useless. His utter glee when watching Workin Boys is also one of the funniest things i've seen in a StarKid production or really in general. He's as into it as we are.

Next up is poor Charlotte, played by Jamie Lynn Beatty. Jamie has played a nice variety of rolls for the team, as shown with her rolls after this playing a basement dweller and the oliva newton john style Ghost of Christmas Past, but has a niche at times playing sad eyed woobies. Jamie's utterly expressive eyes really help. Charlotte is a throughly sad, throughly tragic character, a woman whose clearly still only with her hubsand due to a combination of badly trying to make it work when it's clear Sam, whose cheating on her with Zoey and god knows who else, has long since checked out and stays married to her because

And because she's throughly religious, being presbetarian, and thus refuses a divorce despite cheating on Sam to fill the void, said void only being filled by bastards like Ted. It's part of why I badly want a nightmare time focusing on Charlotte, as the poor woman needs a hug, not to have her zombie husband gaslight her into letting him go then make her one of them. That said the Hive charlotte is fucking awesome, and the high note Jamie hits on "Join Us and Die" is one for the ages. It was hard seeing Charlotte's pain again and knowing it does not nor it never will end well for her.

That said there is an elephant in the room with Jamie and i'm jsut going to adress it now: she's weirdly NEVER gotten a lead roll in any of the hatchefield musicals, and her only nightmare time focusing on her was as the villians. Given how the rest of the main cast of TGDWLM has all gotten an episode a piece (most within season one no less), and that even Melissa recently got one in a fundraising livestream (that I haven't seen but is apparently bonkers), it feels weird though I don't doubt that they've TRIED to do a charlotte story, even announcing one was planned for season 2. It just might not have worked out yet. Hopefully in the future we'll get to see Jamie in the front.

Next up to bat Corey Dorris, my guy. Corey isn't from the very FIRST starkid show, but he's still a UM graduate, GO BLUE!, see I told you it was automatic and showed up as early as Me and My Dick, which again I have to reassure some of you does in fact exist. Fun Fact: it was written about Joey's friendship wth Darren Criss. So yes had we gotten luckier on of Darren Criss' earliest credits would've been a walking talking penis. Your welcome for now knowing that. Point is Corey has been there a long time and the hatchetfield era has seen a thankful up in his promience, going from primarly playing side roles iwth the exception of his great run as Grandpa in trail to oregon even if he had to wake up with blood on his dick and he didn't even know where it came from, to getting either main cast rolls or outright starring turns, as seen with Nightmare Time's "Watcher World" and "Daddy". He's also the troupes longest standing black member, and this era has seen the Langs try to diversify more, with longtime Coregrapher James Tolbert getting bumped up to the cast and hiring Bryce Charles as for Nightmare Time 2, as well as adding the Bisexual Mariah Rose Faith with this musical, the gay Tolbert, and the non-binary Jae Hughes in their respective works. Not a fact I really needed to go out of my way for but I appricate even a small operation like this taking steps to actually open up.

Corey is unsuprsingly fantastic as bill, playing a hilaroiusly awkward dopey dad, but a realistic one: he's not say homer simpson…

He genuinely clearly loves Alice, tries to look out for her and is supportive of her sexuality, which I know is a low bar to clear but I do think it's nice that Alice's sexuality is just a casual thing rather than a source of drama both here and in a spirtual sequel to the duo's plotline here in Watcher World. The issue is a combination of Bill's currently unamed and unseen ex coming off like this (Gem homer)

When it comes to her budget for trying to win their daughters love, and Bill not knowing how to handle Alice clearly putting some distance between them. The fact Bill really dosen't like Alice's girlfriend Deb and thought it was REMOTELY a good idea to admit it and try to prop up Grace Chastity, another great bit of setup for later musicals, as the ideal instead. One of the few weaknesses of these two is that we don't really get to dive into who they are or why their like this or see Alice as more than just a mildly rebelious teen before she's infected. We get SOME insight with Not Your Seed but it's left deliberately ambiguous what's a lie to get bill to break and what's a painful truth. For the record I think her wanting to live with him and the why does it hurt to love you monologues have some kernel of truth, with the latter being amplified to really harm bill, while "Your right about deb she's a hardcore stoner" is a very obvious lie. IT's part of how brilliant the number and the hives tactics there are: you don't know what it's making up to feed on bill's pain and insecurity, and what's actually true feelings alice had simply amped up to do the screen. Bill gets plenty, but we only see their conflict with each other from his side.

While it is mildly weak though.. I do think it dosen't harm the show as it feels intentional: we only see bill's side.. and that makes Not Your Seed more troubling as we genuinely DIDN'T know till watcher world how the conflict actually worked and never get to thanks to Alice being taken by the hive. We don't know how much Bill blaming himself for the fight that lead to Alice not going back to clivesdale and seeing Deb instead was or if Deb really did do more drugs despite stopping Alice from getting in with the smoke club, aka Joey and Lauren miming three cigarettes at once because their the best. We don't know what's true and what's not or if they coudl've fixed things and thanks to this tragedy we never will. All we know is Bill feels guitly for letting the divorcce happen, for letting his wife take her and for failing to be the dad he wants to be, and that's all the hive needs to seal his doom. It's the point I made: bill can be a dumbass, but any parent can fuck up or simply have problems with thir kid that aren't their fault and the tragedy here is what woul dbe an easily reconcilable fight turned into the death of two people who deserved a happier ending. Thankfully the Langs clearly saw the potetial in the two and thus we get Watcher World with nightmare time. So it's hard to be mad at this for not fleshing them out when it happened later and even in context it's kind of the point.

Finally for our core characters we have Professor Hidgens. Hidgens is played by Robert Manion, aka the elephant in the room. Robert joined starkid breifly for twisted but fully joined and was embraced by the community with this show and it's easy to see why. I will have plenty of praise for his performances here and in Black Friday and Nightmare Time Season 1. It can't be avoided. But neither can the truth: Robert was suspended from the group a year ago, as he'd harassed a member of the band via text and to the langs credit once again, they took it dead seriously, not only bringing in an HR Rep to have an outside perspective and a professoinal to handle this, but suspended Robert… with only WEEKS till Nightmare Time 2, forcing Nick to play Professor Hidgens, and Peter aka Hot Chocolate Boy, while Joey took over as ethan and will be taking over as Peter for Nerdy Prudes Must die. Nick has said he will be allowed to come back both after a resonable time period and taking proper undisclosed steps and so far that period has stretched over a year and into next given the NPMD recasting. If he'll return I do not know and the most I can give RObert for his jackassery.. is that he genuinely apologized, didn't get defensive and is taking his fully deserved supsension with grace and humility instead of whining like a baby that his actions have consequences. Again VERY low bar to clear but given how most harassers and abusers seen in media refuse to admit they did anything wrong or pull a louis ck and do do that but then show up not a year later and act like they still deserve a career. I'll take that.

So very ugly actions aside.. Robert is phenomial as hidgens, giving hi ma rex harrison voice, and somehow making you feel he's an old man depsite being the youngest of the team at the time. He's hammy, hilarious and goofy, being every old man who saw this coming cliche rolled into one turtleneck and neat coat and he's already a faviorite from the start from "Nice try but i'm professor hidgens" to his attempt to get laughs at his charoltte-tan pun, to "You bet your ass we got booze'

But of course where Hidgens/Manion really shines.. is Show Stoppin Number. Good god. I'll gush about the number later but the reveal that Hidgens is actually on the hive's side, a fan of musicals and has his own terrible musical about his 6 boyfriends , Workin Boys: A New Musical that turns out is a transparent parody of a failed broadway musical with basically the same premise from a guy the langs went to school with at UM, Go Blue. Again gotta save this for the music portion as much as it hurts, but god he's brilliant in that moment. The only real flaw is that Hidge's heel turn comes out of goddamn nowhere with no foreshadowing and even then like with Bill, it's pivoted by the fact that it coming out of nowhere makes it more funny and suprising. It's no wonder the fandom took to robert.. and I sincerly hope he's GENUINE in taking the steps to atone for his actions.

Before we can get to our final two cast members, both playing multiple parts, we have to talk about our antagonist: the Hive. The Hive has no main host, thus no actor to break down, being played by EVERYONE in the company at at least one ponit. Even Lauren, who plays the only speaking character who never gets infected, still has a role in the background of la de da day as one of the infected.

The Hive is a masterful antagonist and thankfully unlike some horror villians like Micheal Meyers, finding out more about it later via Nightmare Time 2 didn't diminish it much. It works on it's own as this mysterious force that slowly but surely infects people and goes through a clear evolution in tactics and method. It's first phase of attempts don't exactly come off forceful, but still have some logic: singing as a group in La Dee Da Day is to attempt to get people to follow along, which clearly worked for a lot of people, while they manage to take all but three of CCRP's employees simply by having Davidson work on them one at a time with ONLY paul resisting. They lack finesse, as seen by the fact neither works on paul and their as subtle as Mr. Davidson's need for his wife to choke him out at night, but they clearly worked on a LOT of people.

The next step is force, but even then they don't go full on slasher YET, instead simply using cunning, poisoning a few cups of coffee, then spreading to the police. THey don't know HOW to use this autority, it's hilarious in hindsight knowing that a centuries old entity REALLY dosen't know how cops work at all, but it's clear their starting to learn. It's almost as if this is the first time Pokey has done this, or that the distance between this reality and the black and white mean that he has to relearn stuff he knows. or he's just such a self obessed diva that he forgets this kind of stuff out of habit, with his scheme in "Yellow Jacket" only being so streamlined because he had one target in mind and someone so important to hatchtefield as a whole that he CAN'T forget them no matter how self absorbed he is.

As for who Pokey is for the untiated as i've put it off long enough, Pokey IS the hive. He is Pokotho, The Singular Voice, one of the lords of the black and white, five eldrich abominations each represented by a cuddly toy and cutsey nickname, likely inspired by what seems to be their leader, Wiggly. The Lords are the cause of the weirdness in hatchefield and thus each timeline, and often the world's end, either directly via their machenations and various servants, or indirectly as it's implied there presence is why the local witchwood is so bizzare and why the various bits of messed up shit that happen in each timeline happen. They largely operate on their own and have their own goals, but can be invoked as a group as part of various bargins with some in hatchetfield.

As you can probably gather this all comes from later in the timeline: The Black and White gets introduced next play as does the first Lord we meet face to face, Wiggly, and Nightmare Time would introduce the rest, all 5 getting a cameo in the final story, and each brother getting a story to themselves with Blinky and Tinky getting introduced in season 1, Nibbly in season 2 and Pokey getting properly reintroduced and fully confirmed as the Hive in the same seasons finale.

From what I can tell Pokey isn't all that diffrent between incarnations, and uses the Meteor as a medium, having it crash here and scientest extracting the blue shit from it in "yellow jacket" leading to him getting an avatar they created there. It also offers some insight that isn't suprising as we're told by a figure I won't introduce JUST yet for those juts tuning in that "he hates every voice but his own. And you can tell: while he tries to be nice to Pokey ANYTHING but his voice , his version of a person is anthemea. It explains why he's so ungodly cruel when he really gets going, gleefully using Charlotte's dead husband and bill's dead daughter to manipulate them and instead of just jumping emma as soon as he got the chance since he clearly had a number of hosts ready, teasing her with the idea Paul's alive. To him defying his will, his voice is worse: the only happiness is in the hive, wtih him. He'll give you what you want sure.. but at the cost of who you are because to him that's all that matters. It's likely why his medium's more limited than his brothers, who seem to have an easier time reaching otu: it's likely none of them want to give him the faintest chance of enough power to take them on and given he's the only lord to have outright taken a world, their fear isn't unujustified.

It's what makes Pokey so terrifying: They seem to want what's best for humanity.. but see a complete lack of will from anything but itself as best. Nothing will stop it, there's no depths it won't sink to torture you, and you WILL be part of the hive. I've always felt the best horror villians are one with a bit of personality and Pokey hits that itch like a bullseye. He's operatic, selfish and nightmarish, being a primadonna director with the goey face of an elder god who you can't bargin with. Just give up your choice. He dosen't feel overpowered becfause while abbsurdly powerful, the horror comes from the fact that they MIGHT have been able to stop him at a few hosts.. but by the time they realize it he's won and the rest of the musical comes off as him just playing with his food. A clever unstoppable meance that chills you to the bone and is remarkably well written given half a dozen people play him, yet all play him consitent, with the same chilling instance on being the singular voice. One being, dozens of bodies, no escape.

So speaking of dozens of bodies we're on to our other ingenue, our newest addition and one who like the other remaning cast members plays a bunch of extra rolls, Mariah Rose Faith Castiles, just the first three at the time of this as she's since married. She's a wonderful, kind person and a clear talent that fit right in. She's also like Jon heavily tied to this franchise having only missed one show, Black Friday due to getting a part in Mean Girls, something that was sad but also good for her. The Pandemic meant she was avaliable for Nightmare Time and after quitting the tour due to her anxiety she's back for NPD and we're glad to have her.

Mariah plays four roles in this one: Melissa, CCRP's receptionist who has a crush on Paul and dosen't show up much, Zoey, Emma's bratty coworker whose having an affair with sam, Alice, Bill's Daughter and Greenpeace girl, a GP volunteer who paul pisses off by trying to brush off. Since 3/4 of these characters show up hived on screen she spends most of her screentime as the Hive and does a terrific job, being jolly yet clearly off in La Dee Da Day, creepily monotone in cup of poison coffee nad finally heartbreakingly nightmarish as Alice, as she uses every insecurity bill has to tear the poor guy apart. She gets a truly great scene as Hive!Zoey to oas our heroes almost escape only to reveal nope, hive's flying the plane. It's no wonder Nick wanted her to play the lead as Lex next time, and she got her chance with Nerdy Prudes Must Die as Stephanie… and as fate would have it Grace Chasity , her co-lead is played by Angela Giratina, her replacement as Lex and as has become clear via streams and the Yellow Jacket music vidoew, a now good friend in real life which I find as strange as I do sweet.

Finally for cast introductions we have Jeff Motherfucking Blim, my boy. who with this muiscla finally got to use his now iconic unshaven coked out jesus look on screen. This is how I met Jeff but he'd been around a while: When Joey coudln't do Holy Musical Batman!, Jeff stepped in as Sweet Tooth, and hammed it up so hard he earned a permeannt spot with the group, going on to play the best version of ALaddin. What would lead to his rise here though was the Trail To Oregon, an orgen trail spoff he wrote and wrote the music for. So with former music makers Talk Fine moving on to do their own stuff, Jeff was the natural choice to step in as Starkid's prime music meister, with Talk Fine head Clark Backstresser only stepping back in for a VHS chrismtas Carol. Hatchetfield feels almost as much Jeff's baby as it does Nick and Matt's, and he really gets to flex his musical muscles with this franchise getting even better with each production.

We'll talk more about his music in a moment but as an actor, Jeff is fucking hinged, having a great habbit for ham, hilarity and looking abosltuely nuts in the best way possible. Case in point while he does a good Bill Lundberg as Mr. Davidson before he gets infected, post infectoin Davidson is one of the best things i've ever seen, a perpetual creepy yet hilarious smile, an inablity to show a woman's curves without having 8 of them, and jolliy telling Paul to stay whlie he tells his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. The musical plays to his strengths, with Sam being likewise unhinged if not as smily , getting to ham it up with terrible love song you tied up my heart, and while he's more calm as Col John Mcnamar of PEIP, a secret orignation against the parnormal, he's still hammy, gladly throwing jon's phone before iconicallyt elling him to wear a watch instead of just… you know.. not destroying his property and only means of calling his friends. I get something as important as time deserves it's own device but still man. He's had a hell of a day. He also does a chilling job with the very heavy "America is Great Again", proving the guy can be chilling when needed.. something we'll see all too well when we get to Nightmare Time.

So with that we're down to the various other roles played by the rest of the cast. Manion's other major roll is Hot Chcolate Boy, aka Peter. He's a delight, Emma's Boss, she's really fogerattble other than, since the Langs likely realized "Shit charlotte is dead", the "All your best friends are here" gag in the starlight showdown, A Homeless man who will be vastly important, utterly steals la de da day, and freaks paul out expertly and of course future star of Hatchetfield Man in a Hurry. He was written to just say "i'm in a hurry" in the script but Jeff eventually just kept brushing past so much that he was brought back for black friday and flanderized from just some uncaring jackass with a scarf and a trench coat who keeps showing up places you REALLY shoudln't go to when your in a hurry. We are truly blessed for that. So that leads us to one of the most important and vital parts of Starkid and this show, the Music. Show Stoppin Numbers

The soundtrack for TGWDLM is postively packed. As i've made clear there's only one song I really DON'T like on the whole soundtrack and we'll get to it. The gimmick of it all being the hive gives things a unique vibe with the music not being our heroes inner yearnings but a sign shits about to get bad. While this isn't Jeff's first kickass starkid score it's the one that really showed what he can do, trapsing all around genres and theater standard types of songs to make this catchy earwormy soundtrack.

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is our title track and gets us going out of the gate. It's omnious as it goes on much like the musical, with the Hive going from talking up how great musicals are and how great.. to asking "should we kill him? Should we kill him?" for paul not wanting to sing and dance with them all, and calling him a bitch, an ass and a cuck (not a cock like I thoguht for some time), for not joining in their singing season. The part where paul dosen't show up on queue is also fucking gold. Music wise it's lively a true all timer of an opening number Faviorite Part: Joey's "But tonight we're gonna chroncile a story so astronomical!" just the way he says it is so perfectly hammy.

La Dee Da Day is a great parody of those big showy crowd numbers musicals have, being a great one in it's own right…j while parodying the usual cheerfulness of that sort of thing with how unnerving it comes off for poor paul and of course the homeless man… who "used to want to kill them all while high on bathsalt zombie drugs snacking on a dead mans face", with small horrible implicatoins hidden from the GPG throwing "my old skin away" to how "a song takes all the pain away" for the old homeless man meaning evne if the hive puppets can FEEL the pain it uses them anyway. ti's nicely done Best Part: Gave a clue but as you can probably guess the Homeless Man's horrifying yet hilarous rant. The only downgrade for the soundtrack version is Paul's confused "What" is missing, which I fell really completes the joke. as does Joey getting entirely up in his face as he gets more intense.

THen of course we get one of my faviorite numbers and performances: What Do You Want Paul? This is where I fell in love with Jeff Blim folks, as his giant horrifying smile during the whole thing is one of the funniest goddamn things mankind has ever created. Making an I want song into a song about how someone wants the main protagnist to want like an I want song is fucking brilliant and is every bit as hilaroius as it sounds. Pauls utter confusion and horror the whole time, especially once we get to "I want you to choke me out at night" is hilarious. Speaking of which that is one of the funniest things Team StarKid has EVER done. I mean it. The sudden pivot to that, Jon's perfectly timed discomfort and just how beautifully and straightlaced Jeff holds it, as well as his offhand "if you leave your fired" to paul… i'm tearing up laughing NOW just thinking about it. It's one of only two songs that I went back to. Best Part: "I want you to choke me while I jerk off", both for Paul's reaction of who is this for and just for being one of the most excellent comedic swerves starkid has ever done.

Cup of Roasted/Poison Coffee is fine. It's mildly annoying but it feels like the point, that it's SUPPOSED to be the annoying half assed kind of jingle Beanies would have.. and makes it that much more horrifying when we get the Poisoned version, and the hey mr buisness how do you do as the newley hived corpses join in. Chilling. Best Part: Again the hey mr buisness part after all those people what get murdered.

Show Me Your Hands is another comedic goldmine. It not only feels like subtle commentary on the police ("WE make sense") but is packed with great ham from jeff, great deadpan from mariah and robert frigging breakdancing. It comes off like a bunch of 12 year olds playing cops in the bodies of actual cops.. which might be a good nightmare time story down the line Langs. You can have it for free. Best Part: "Your cat is dead". Just the delivery alone is enough. Thank you so much Mariah.

You Tied Up My heart

Yeah as i've made no secret of I hate this fucking thing. In concept it's not bad, a cheesy love ballad that's the hive tricking charlotte and look, Jeff's music and vocals are fine. But with the both obvious solution, the seriousness of what he's doing, and just the sheer length this thing wears on you. What should be horrifying, the hive gaslighting charlotte becomes an endurance test. It's also baffling as Jeff did an absolute banger of a ballad "When the World's At Stake" for Trail to Oregon so I don't know what happened here. I'm more baffled because he can do better. It's not even god awful, it's just.. not good. Best Part: That shriek of "Charlotte!". It's the one thing about the song I can compliment

Join Us and Die is thankfully 800 times better, giving Jamie a chance to fucking belt it and being an acting ending powerhouse. Like the songs before that thing that happened, ti's comedy packed, the last bit about beating up Ted styled like "Bop It" is fucking magical. A truly electric villian song Best Part: "it is time to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" I love that woman, how she did that I don't know but holy shit.

Not Your Seed is fucking incredible. While Mariah got to sing before and got a bit of a showcase with La De Da Day, here she REALLY gets to show how impressive her voice and acting are. Not Your Seed is just 2 and a half brilliant minutes of Mariah absolutely killing it on the stage, and utterly shredding poor bill to pieces. The slow pacing only drags out the pain for bill and feels delebrate, like Pokey WANTED this to fucking hurt him for as long as possible for surviving this long, to make Paul WATCH for his defiance as Pokey broke his best friend. Especially "you let me out of your sight for one second" just the rapid delivery of that and "didn't you know I wanted to live with you" hit like a fucking truck. She's the top. Look What Happens Nightmare Time would also give us the series definitive cords and the title for it's anthology show. Nicely done Best Part: Very fucking hard. Mariah does not make this easy. But Why Does It Hurt To Love you gets me as it's this sudden, painful, and probably HONEST, taking Alice's real emotions break that REALLY guts you and sadly poor bill. Thankfully not literally. As tragic as that headshot was at least it was quick.

Show Stopping Number has the thankfless task of following up one of the shows best numbers.. so naturally it's also one of the shows best and what's become it's signature piece. Robert fucking owns the stage as hidgens, first with the slower tunes leading in..a nd then with the falsetto switch when he decides to intro Workin Boys. Just the shift from the old man voice which is still BEAUTIFULLY sung in a crooner bing crosbyish style to Robert's more natural register… how are this man's lungs human? I shoudlnt' have to tell you returning starkids that Workin Boys is one of the best jokes ever crafted, from being a clear pisstake on Glory Days (something I didn't know but somehow makes it funnier once you do, as Glory Days is every bit as prentious, stupid and nostalgia baity as WOrkin Boys from the looks of it), to Roberts great dance moves (coregraphed by lauren) to the great hook of "five o clock can't come soon enough". IT's fucking magic. i may have.. complicated feeligns about robert I already talked about at lenght, btu I can't deny workin boys is great nor that i'm excited for the short film, which I hope gets released publicly in some form. The first song already has me hyped. And yes there's a short film: MANY people wanted Workin Boys to be a full musical which while understandable wasn't something that would really work given it was deisgnd to be a parody, hence instead compromising with a short ABOUT Hidgens actually getting to make it as part of Black Friday's backer goals. Best Part: BUISNESS CALLS I'M UP TO MY ASS IN SHIT, WHAT IS THIS BUISNESS. I mean that entire part, including the phone call desreves it but i'm calling out the sudden shift and hte hilaroity of that first line itself. I'm not entirley convinced that this was salvaged from them TRYING to make a full on parody of glory days at some point.

America is Great Again gets a bad wrap as i've seen it shockingly low on several hatchetfield ranking lists on youtube and along with John's other song, which we'll get to I feel is underrated. It's a chilling song and while it's politics are welded to it's sleeves, given the Langs had a friend outright quit to become a lawyer over the election , it's clear it REALLY hit them hard. And frankly as MANY bros tend to forget, Poltics and political satire are baked into horror. So while it's in your face about it's critques of trumpisim (The loud has become the strong).. it's not exactly wrong. The you can't run and easily disposed parts espcially given the kind of legslation put on women's bodies and LBGTQ+ peoples lately and general hostility to anyone diffrent period. The fact this hasn't gone away with the election really just makes this song hold up that much more. Best Part: The Final Solution onward. Just how horrifying it is mixed with Jeff's ham.. perfect.

So we've come to my faviorite song, Let It Out. This song is pure brilliance as is the staging, with the hive all on the fringes urging paul to let it out because they know their victory isn't not a matter of how but a matter of when. Of course the man treat and the thing tha tbrings this is Jon Mattensons' performance, effortlessly switching between paul and the hive, going from pained horror to having a smile painted on his soul like it was nothing. It shows in the voice, with paul's panicked speech constrated with the hvie's plastic singing and when Paul does sing he's barely there. it's one of the best horror freakouts i've ever seen, and trust me that threeshold is vast and expansive. The ending shout of "I don't like musicals' is badass.. and sadly futile as his fate

Is "Ineveitble", our final soong and a nice cruel twist on big splashy finales. Most musical finales , those that end happy anyway are about lifting you up, really reving you up as you get out of the theater and giving you hope for tommorow. Even pretty grim works like "Spring Awakening" can end on a nope of hope. This one? Nah. This one takes your heart and smashes to bit, forcing you, much like emma to watch as a puppeteered paul sings several even more warped version osf the score at her while trying to convince her that the horrible monster she's been fighting is a good thing and that the world became "peaceful and just". It's truly haunting and sadly catchy as hell so we're pretty much fucked i'd say. Watching emma run around desperate to escape as it's clear ther eisn't, i'ts at ruly chilling way to end a truly excellent musical.

So thus we close a curtain on one Hatchetfield. If all goes well I'll be covering Black Friday next month , then possibly taking a break for december before getting into nightmare time next year. This could change as when push comes to shove to feed the hive that is my bank account I HAVE to proritze the reviews I do on comission, but i intend to try my damdenst to get the review out around the actual black friday. I hope you all enjoyed this as it was a LOT to get done, but it was a true labor of love. This is one of my faviorite musicals and I was glad to dig through it with a fine toothed comb and I can only hope a few years after it's release my analysis isn't too played out. Stick around if you enjoyed this for more reviews, don't be afraid to reblog it or join my patreon to help keep this blog going, and thank you once again so much for reading. I'll see you in line for a Tickle Me Wiggly.