#happy birthday lost (2004)

[haert]

LOST — 1.01 ‘‘Pilot: Part 1’’ (First aired September 22, 2004)

[lockesmissingkidney]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOST!!!

[darkwing-katy]

The Promise - Oneshot

Pairing: Benjamin Linus x Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 2,769

Summary: You’ve been on the Island for a while now, and tonight, you’re ready to try and ask your leader if you can go off-Island for a week. But Ben wants to make sure that you’ll come back to the Island…and to him.

It’s easy to extract promises when the person you’re talking to seems to be fixated on you.

A/N: Yeah, you know how some people enjoy celebrating fictional character birthdays? Happy birthday to our favorite manipulative bastard! Literally just a self-indulgent oneshot I came up with when I was super sick a while ago.

Tagging: (because I’m 99.99% sure y’all wanna be tagged in any Ben/Michael Emerson-related fics I post here haha) @erobias @vi-er @primosflowergarden

———————————————————————-

You stare at the white door ahead of you. It’s now or never, (Y/N), you think to yourself. Now or never. With a deep inhale, you lift your chin, determined to not let your nervousness show. Nervousness will be seen as weakness, and that will not help your case in any way. 

You lift your hand and knock once, twice, three times.

“Come in!”

You close your eyes and suck in another breath, then open them as you reach for the doorknob. It turns easily, and before you know it, you’re standing in Benjamin Linus’s house. This isn’t the first time you’ve been in here, but each time gives you a little thrill of excitement. There’s just something about Ben that fills you with a craving for more of him, more of his presence, more of his voice, more of him. 

Okay, yeah, so you’re possibly a bit obsessed with him. But who wouldn’t be?

And now he’s peering at you through his glasses, tilting his head in what appears to be confusion as he reads on his couch. You allow yourself a moment to memorize the sight of him—you’ve only seen him in his glasses on one other occasion and it had been so unexpectedly striking that you’ve been trying to orchestrate a way for you to catch a glimpse of him wearing them again.

Of course, it’d be tonight of all nights. Right when you need your wits about you the most, there they are, all circular and gold-rimmed and perfectly suited to his face.

“(Y/N). To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks.

Now or never, now or never, you chant in your head. “I had a request,” you reply.

Ben raises an eyebrow, but it’s friendly. His lips curve just a hair, and he motions for you to come further into the house. You do so, ignoring the way your heartbeat quickens as you draw close to him. He’s wearing a blue-striped button up shirt with his usual khaki pants, but the first two buttons are undone, revealing the white undershirt. His demeanor still screams that he’s in charge, that he’s the leader here, but in a casual way that you rarely experience.

It’s a little jarring to see Ben like this, but you’ll happily take it.

He inclines his head towards the ottoman next to him, and you take a seat on it, acutely aware of how close your leg is to his. There’s a modest gap between you, and you’re certain that he doesn’t know what his proximity to you does to your insides because he’s still giving you a pleasant smile, one that makes your stomach do little flips and flutters. His eyes are fixed on you, giving you his full, undivided attention. Your cheeks grow warm, but you’re not here for that. You’re here on a mission.

“I want to go off-Island,” you say.

Ben’s eyebrows raise higher. He wasn’t expecting that to be your request. “Why?”

Now. Or. Never. “My little sister graduates from college this week. I want to watch her graduate.”

He cocks his head in the other direction. “How do you know—,”

“I’ve had her graduation date memorized since the day she got into this school,” you reply, guessing at what he was about to ask. “I’ve been counting the days.”

Ben makes a humming sound deep in his throat. You’re not sure what that means.

“It’s only for a week,” you continue, leaning forward, bridging the gap between the two of you. “And then I’ll be right back here.”

Ben closes the book in his hands, sets it to the side. He mirrors you, leaning forward, closing that gap even more, one hand moving to the couch armrest. “What if you don’t want to come back? What if being back amongst your family makes you want to leave for good?”

There’s a strange edge to his voice, one that you can’t quite place. “It won’t,” you reply.

“How do you know?”

“It won’t,” you repeat, this time firmer. Ben doesn’t seem like he believes you, though, because he leans back with a sigh. How can you convince him? You’re not about to tell him that you can never leave the Island for good as long as he’s here, that a week with your family is nothing compared to years with him. You just can’t. You’re obsessed with him. You might even be in love with him.

But you absolutely cannot tell him that, can’t tell him that the thought of being apart from him forever wrenches at you in a way that fills you with dread.

You can’t go the rest of your life without those eyes in your life.

“How do I know I can trust you?” 

You offer him a smile. “What if I promise to come back?”

Ben’s lips twitch, just a fraction. “I’m afraid that’s not good enough, (Y/N).”

“I could give you my word.” 

His eyes bore into yours, then they flick downwards. You’re not quite sure what he’s searching for—you’re being truthful in everything you say.

So then you decide to try something a little bolder. It might completely fuck up your plans, but what the hell, why not? 

You put your hand over his. “Ben, I give you my word that I’ll come back.” You lock your eyes on his, trying to will him to understand. You hold each other’s gaze for what feels like an eternity, unblinking, barely breathing. And then there’s a subtle shift in the mood, one that you can’t quite articulate, but you feel it shivering in the air.

You blink without meaning to, and the moment is gone, whatever it was. You draw back—when had you gotten so close to Ben, anyways?—but before you get too far, his hand flips over, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, holding you in place. You freeze at his touch. “Don’t move,” he says, but he needn’t have. You’re not going anywhere when he’s holding you like that. His thumb traces over your pulse, the sensation sending goosebumps up your arm. You pray he hasn’t noticed, but he’s Ben. Of course he has.

“Close your eyes,” he breathes, but it’s still a command. And one that you obey automatically.

You close your eyes and wait, unsure of what’s coming. Everyone treats Ben with respect and fear. You’ve heard some of the more…unsavory rumors surrounding him, but they haven’t stopped you from developing feelings for him. If anything, they’ve only made it worse.

Well, shit, you think. Your eyes move beneath the lids, but Ben had ordered you to keep them shut, so as much as you desperately want to open them, you can’t. You won’t.

And Ben knows this.

He’s been watching you when you’re not looking, catching those forlorn glances you sent his way. He’s seen the way your eyes linger on him when he’s around, the way you turn your head the moment you suspect he’s seen you in return. He’s made a mental catalogue of every little thing you do when you’re around him, the way your head lifts when he speaks, the way your eyes have traced over his face, the way your ears seem to prick up when his name is called by someone else.

He’s been paying attention to you, too. 

He didn’t think you’d be this brave, though. Most of your interactions with him have been minimal, none so daring as this. He knew about your sister, of course. He might not care for his own family ties, aside from Alex, but he respects the connections of his people to their families. Only a few have asked him to visit the mainland, and he’s granted that request even fewer times. It’s too risky—the Island is his priority, and he cannot allow someone to abruptly decide to leave. 

But you’ve given him your word, and there’s something else, too. He felt the trembling of your hand as you set it atop his. He felt your racing heartbeat, noticed the sharp inhale when he twisted his fingers around your hand. You like him, you have feelings for him.

It makes him feel powerful, and he quite enjoys that.

Now he wonders just how far he can take it. How far you’re willing to let him push you.

Which is exactly why he lets you sit there for a minute or two, testing your obedience. You don’t open your eyes, and he smirks—not that you can see it.

And then he decides to go even further. He removes his glasses, sets them aside, then leans forward and presses his lips against yours. He’s rewarded with a startled, questioning sound coming from your throat.

Is—Is—is Ben kissing me?! you manage to wonder, but as you do so, you lean back, pulling away. It’s not for a lack of wanting it to continue; it’s more born from confusion, from a sense of, Oh, my God, is this really happening? 

You can’t help it; your eyes pop open and meet blazing blue eyes, sparking with mischief, with intelligence, and with—with a little bit of what you swear is desire, or maybe curiosity?

“I thought I told you to keep your eyes closed,” Ben says, a smirk curling up his lip.

And that does it. This time, you’re the one pressing your lips against his. Hell, this might be the only chance you get to live out this particular fantasy, and you’re not gonna waste it. You’re not gentle about it, either. You push hard enough to earn a noise from him, and then you’re thinking, fuck it all to hell as you climb off of the ottoman and into his lap, straddling him. His hands reach up and around you, pulling you further into him, and your hands work their way upwards, tangling in his short hair. You accidentally pull a little harder than you mean to, and Ben growls, deep in his throat, and oh, God, is that sexy.

His fingers dig into your back. It’s painful, but not enough that it makes you want to stop. In fact, it only spurs you on, and before you know it, a moan escapes from you, startling you. You pull back, chest heaving, and Ben is also breathing heavily, his eyes locked on your face. His pupils are wide, nearly obfuscating his blue eyes, and there’s a darkness within them that demands more, more, give me more.

You want to give in to that darkness, see where it takes you both, but then you’re hit by an abrupt wave of embarrassment. Holy shit, I just made out with Benjamin Linus. 

You become dimly aware of the fact that you’re still sitting on his lap, that his arms are still wrapped around you. Oh shit, what the hell just happened?! 

Your mind is scrambling to understand the last three minutes, but all you can think about is how good it felt to be kissing him, how much you wanted to stay right there, how much you wanted to rip off that fancy button-up shirt and run your hands up and down his chest. How much you want to devour him, let him do whatever he wants to you as long as you can do the same in exchange.

You shift awkwardly and bite your lip. “Uhm, uhm, so—so sorry,” you splutter. You attempt to slide off of him, but Ben holds you in place, keeping you trapped.

“What for?” he asks, unblinking, unfazed.

You swallow. Hard. “Uhm. For. Uh. That.” You wave a hand in the air, unsure what else to do to convey the feelings threatening to overwhelm you. “I didn’t, I didn’t, uh.” All of your words are gone, lost in the sensation of Ben.

He’s smirking now. “You didn’t?” He arches an eyebrow at you, and you gulp.

“Okay, so I did,” you mutter, and this time, when you try to scoot backwards, he allows you. You sit on the ottoman, Ben not once taking his eyes off of you. God, that stare is intimidating. “Sorry,” you add, just because you’re genuinely not sure if he’s offended or not, and it’s better to be safe than sorry when it comes to him.

“Don’t be,” is all he says. Then, as if he thinks he needs to reassure you, “I didn’t mind it.”

Your face had cooled down, but his words send heat surging all throughout your cheeks and ears again. “Good, I guess,” you say, unsure of what else you could possibly say.

The room feels too large now, too open. You stand up, fully intending to run off and try to figure out what the fuck just happened. Ben doesn’t try to stop you, and you think you’re disappointed by that, until you reach the door. No sooner has your hand touched the cool metal of the doorknob than you hear him.

“The submarine leaves in the morning and comes back in a week.”

You stop. Turn around slowly. Ben’s glasses are back on his face, his book open again in his hands like you didn’t just have a make-out session. His hair is still ruffled from your hands, though, the usual spikiness of it in sensual disarray. You flush at the sight, and then he peers at you through the golden rims.

“I expect you to be on it when it returns.”

You force yourself to smile. “And what if I’m not?” you dare to quip.

His eyes are sharp and cold. “Then I’ll have to come get you myself.”

His words send a shiver down your spine, and it’s not altogether unpleasant. There’s a threat there, a threat and a promise, one you have no intention of breaking. You lick your lips and nod at him. “See you in a week.”

A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “See you in a week, (Y/N).” And there it is again, that charm with an undercurrent of warning. 

You leave, though a part of you longs to run back into his house and finish what you started.

Well, that’s not how I expected this evening to go, you think to yourself as you follow the sidewalk to your small home. It’s a short trek back to your place, and you distract yourself from all the intrusive thoughts of Ben’s mouth on yours by immersing yourself in packing. It works…for all of an hour.

The entirety of the rest of your night is spent wondering just how far Ben would’ve been willing to go…and if maybe, just maybe, he’d be willing to pick up where you left off when you got back.

—————————————————————————

When you step onto the pier a week later, your duffel bag slung over your shoulders, he’s waiting for you. His hands are tucked into his khaki pockets, and the wind rustles his green shirt and hair. He seems aloof, more like a leader making sure that his people are okay than a man waiting impatiently for someone to return, but he’s there.

You tilt your head at him, but you can’t hide the smirk that creeps onto your own face. It takes everything you have to walk at a consistent pace, to not speed up in your eagerness to reach him. From the way his eyes are fixated on you, you suspect that he knows you’re holding back.

Soon enough, you’re at his side. “(Y/N),” he greets with a warm smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Ben,” you reply, your face twitching into a smile even as it heats up.

“You came back.”

“I gave you my word, didn’t I?”

There’s a spark of something, and the look in his eyes melts just a little. “You did.” His head cocks to the right, studying you. “Come over tonight. You can regale me with your adventures of the past week.” It’s not exactly a suggestion…not that you mind.

You’re still blushing, but you can’t resist the opportunity to banter. “You gonna make dinner?”

The rest of the coldness in his eyes thaws. “Naturally.”

Your smile widens into a grin. “What time?”

“Let’s say…6?”

“I’ll be there,” you reply.

“Is that a promise, (Y/N)?”

Your top teeth catch on your bottom lip. “It is indeed, Ben.” He chuckles, the sound filling you with a bubbling joy, and you continue past him, ready to unpack your belongings and take a nice, hot shower.

Then you can worry about getting ready for your evening.

[draven-the-great-is-not-okay]

🎉🎉🎉

[lostburkes]

20 years ago today, on September 22 2004, Lost premiered and my favourite thing in the world was introduced to the world. No other tv show has impacted me like Lost and no other show ever will. I first watched Lost in early 2010 and from the moment I laid eyes on it my little autistic brain went crazy. Lost means more to me than almost anything and I genuinely don’t know who I would be without it.

Lost’s two part Pilot is a perfect start to the show. Expertly setting up the characters, mysteries, and tone. TV as we know it wouldn’t be the same without Lost, and its impact can be felt in just about every show that came after it. I can barely describe how amazing it is because I’m just so overwhelmed with love.

I still maintain that Lost is one of the greatest pieces of fiction ever created and I feel bad for those who thought the ending “ruined it” because they’ll never realise just how cathartic and important the show - and its finale - are.

Here are my slightly dodgy Lost themed baked goods that actually turned out way better than I thought they would lol.

Happy birthday, Lost! I’ll love you forever <3

[kiyomitakada]

Light Yagami is compliant the entire first day they're handcuffed together.

Almost too compliant. L is not ruling out the possibility he'll strangle L in his sleep, hence why, as he shuts the hotel room door behind them, L silently decides he'll use his Whale Sleeping Method (standing up while shutting down alternate halves of his brain) tonight. Unfortunately he isn't quite as good as a whale is yet, but he presumes he'll at least notice Light's hand wrapped around his neck.

"Ryuzaki," Light says on cue, "why is there only one bed."

"That's because only you'll be sleeping," L says. "I am patenting my Whale Sleeping Method."

"The what — actually, I don't want to know." Light digs one thumb into his temple. "You're going to be watching me while I sleep, aren't you."

"Yes," L confirms.

"Right." Light sighs. "I'm sorry, but if you're expecting anything, you'll be disappo…"

He trails off.

L frowns and glances over. "Light-kun?"

"Ryuzaki," Light says extremely evenly, not looking at him: "what's today's date?"

"July 23rd, 2004," L informs him easily.

"July," Light mutters to himself. "J—fuck."

"What is it?" L asks, even as Light tugs him over to the bed in silence and sits with a thump.

"My father was in prison too," he says abruptly. "He said so."

"Yes." L is becoming a little annoyed, and more than a little intrigued. This version of Light Yagami — because he does seem to be a different version — is off in a million ways. He seems truer, more anchored in reality somehow, and yet the workings of his mind are more opaque than ever.

His fingers, L notices, are trembling.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did he go into imprisonment?"

"June first," L says, then — noticing Light's lost expression — "The same day as you."

"I have to go," Light says.

"The bathroom is five meters away from you."

"No, I have to go home. Sayu—"

Light stops. He shuts his mouth with a clack.

"Your younger sister?" What does Sayu Yagami have to do with anything? L could count on one hand the number of times Light has brought her up voluntarily. Is she a pawn? An accomplice?

"I need to go home," Light repeats, still not looking at him.

Instead of answering, L taps his nails against the chain between them. It rings metallically. Light drops his face into his hands.

L presses one finger into the corner of his mouth. Light is concerned about: the current date, his father's date of imprisonment, his sister. L flips through files in his head. Sayu Yagami, student, blood type O—

Ah.

"June eighteenth," L says. "Her birthday."

"I was supposed to take her to a concert," Light mumbles.

"Rather noble of you."

Light glares at him. L is almost taken aback by the genuine venom in it; it lasts for half a second before Light blinks and looks away again. "Mom wouldn't let her go. She'd been to one in March already. We were going to sneak out."

L studies him. This eighteen-year-old boy with every bone in his body calculated to align in only the most disarming of poses, now slumped inelegantly on the edge of a hotel bed. L had always wanted to see how Kira killed; had always wanted to see how Light Yagami's face, that confident and smiling mask, would split to reveal the ugly breathtaking truth of his cruelty.

That's the reason for all of this, isn't it? He wants to see Light honest.

And this — is honesty. Just not where L had expected it.

"Your father was allowed communication in his cell," L informs him. "I am sure he wished her a happy birthday on your behalf."

Light's mouth twists. "She thinks I ran off with Misa."

"Yes," L says. "You came up with the cover story yourself."

"There was something wrong with me then," Light mutters, but without any of his usual conviction. "Give me a phone. She deserves to hear from me."

"I can't do that," L lies.

"You can look at the goddamn texts when I send them, okay? Run it through all the detectors you want, I just — want to talk to her."

L allows himself to stare. Light looks back at him, unflinching. His hand twitches at his side, the same way it had when he'd screamed at L in the hospital when he'd accused Sayu Yagami of fitting Light's profile.

Hm. A hypothesis; an experiment. "One text."

"Fine," Light says too-quickly, and L hands him a burner.

[ @deathnotetober day 4: family ]

[kafus]

i'm going to finally talk about The Buizel that i keep mentioning but then neglecting to elaborate on. just for the sake of personal documentation honestly. because she means everything to me

warning for discussion of SA! (nothing graphic but it's relevant to the story of this buizel)

this is Hope. she's a buizel. she looks unassuming with nothing particularly special about her other than being a pretty high level for an unevolved buizel. but she is one of the most important pokemon i own, if not the most important.

i've been into pokemon games since i was a really little kid, starting in 2004. my first game was leafgreen, but the sinnoh games have a very important and special place in my heart. by the time DP came out in 2007 in the US, i was a little bit older, 7 years old to be precise, and was able to enjoy the games on a deeper level than before due to an increase in reading comprehension and pokemon knowledge. when i think of "my childhood generation", it is definitely gen 4. when i think of 2007, i think of my excitement for diamond and pearl, begging my parents to get it for me for my birthday/christmas that year, watching the anime on the TV in eager anticipation for hopefully getting the games as a gift.

unfortunately when i think of 2007, i also think of an extreme traumatic event that happened that year. i was being sexually abused by my grandfather from a young age and this was ongoing in that year. in a fit of rage or god knows what, his level of violence increased all of a sudden in the summer, while i was left alone at my grandparents' house for multiple weeks at a time without my parents. i was brutally injured and could have died - my grandfather nearly killed me. i promise this is relevant to the story of this buizel so bear with me.

by the time i was home, my injuries had healed enough that despite coming extremely close to being examined by a doctor, ultimately no one ever found out, and i never told because of memory loss/repression. suffice to say we kept visiting my grandparents for the holidays. in particular, we took the small roadtrip to their house again for thanksgiving, and unexpectedly my grandma wanted me to open her birthday gift for me early since i was there in person, and i excitedly tore open the package to find pokemon pearl inside.

i did eventually get other pokemon games, gens 3, 4, and 5, but this pearl file remains the only childhood file i have that i didn't overwrite or lose the cartridge for. it's been very lightly played since childhood but it mostly remains in the same state it was whenever i last picked it up as a kid, including the over 200 hours of gameplay. considering i spent similar amounts of time in diamond which i got for christmas that year, suffice to say i played a lot as a kid! thanksgiving in 2007 was on november 22nd so the "adventure started" date lines up perfectly with the trip i was on to my grandparents' house.

i've peeked around this file multiple times and was happy to have some remnants of my childhood, but was also disappointed to find that most of the pokemon i was attached to and used had mysteriously vanished from the save file. my best guess is that i traded them to my copy of diamond which i was using in tandem with pokemon battle revolution on the wii, of which i unfortunately lost at some point along the line.

for instance, i peeked into my hall of fame data - i had beaten the league 9 times on this file and my first hall of fame entry, AKA when i beat the game for the first time, was from january 26th 2008 and had my original team, consisting of lucario, palkia, torterra, staraptor, and amusingly, an unevolved pikachu and an unevolved buizel, both at stupidly high levels for being unevolved pokemon. i was humored seeing this a couple years ago when i first looked through this file because it was so like me to have unevolved pokemon on my team, and in particular i was obsessed with pikachu and buizel at the time, so like... of course.

at first, i looked through the PC (and the daycare!) for any traces of any of these guys... nothing. they were all gone. after checking out other stuff like my underground base or whatever else, i shelved my copy of pearl again, only taking it back out of my box of DS games when i occasionally needed it for version exclusives or multiplayer battle tower shenanigans.

you may see where this is going.

this year i booted up pearl again because i wanted to ribbon master a pokemon from my childhood with my actual OT on it, AKA get all the ribbons possible on a pokemon. if you aren't familiar with the "ribbon master" challenge, don't worry about it, it's just a (very time consuming) hobby i have and i like doing it with pokemon that are meaningful to me.

in the pictures in this post so far, i've blacked out the trainer name on everything because i actually named myself after my legal name back then. i don't identify with that name anymore at all, but i really wanted to honor my childhood self because... sinnoh meant so much to her. this file, this cartridge in particular, was a light in a year that contained unthinkable violence and trauma towards me. a year when i could have died. i first played with this game cart in the building where just some months prior i had been bleeding profusely in the basement at the hands of my relative, a house that has since been sold off and i can no longer return to - this pearl cartridge remains one of the only remnants of that time and place, and it is deeply, deeply important to me. i didn't want 7 year old me's pokemon to rot away forever.

little did i know that apparently when i looked through the PC a couple years prior, i somehow completely missed that one pokemon from that hall of fame entry still existed on the file. just the one. miraculously. and it was the buizel.

genuinely nothing could have prepared me for finding her, i didn't expect it at all. i just started crying. i couldn't believe it.

her met date was november 26th 2007, just a day after i started this save file. i could not believe it either when i tabbed over to the ribbons page and saw the sinnoh champion ribbon, three contest ribbons, a ribbon for talking to the sunyshore NPC on a wednesday, and the footprint ribbon which is received for max friendship from a guy to the east of pastoria. she was by far the most well-loved pokemon still on the file, and maybe the one i wanted to see the most, if i could have any of those 6 pokemon from that hall of fame back.

i haven't mentioned it until now, but that aforementioned extremely violent event is the traumatic memory i have come to un-repress in the most detail out of any of my trauma by far. i still remember what i was thinking at the time to survive it, staring at the ceiling and escaping into my mind to pretend it wasn't happening. first i thought about the usual, my mom, my bedroom back at home, but thinking about those things ended up just making me feel their absence, and so my mind drifted to pokemon diamond and pearl. i didn't even own the games yet, but i played out what i thought they might be like based on that gamestop demo kiosk and commercials and the anime in my mind, and in that daydream, because of the buizel from the diamond & pearl anime, buizel was one of my pokemon, my main pokemon, a pokemon that i could not have yet but that i thought very fondly of and really wanted. and unsurprisingly it ended up as a member of my team once i finally got the games months later.

suffice to say, buizel is a pokemon that meant a lot to me and held a lot of weight and emotion for that 7 year old girl that was me. and so to find my first childhood buizel after all this time after i thought for sure she was gone and to see how much i loved her, i could not stop crying for a good while. and i'm tearing up again just writing all this out frankly

and so i traded her to my platinum and soulsilver saves to play with her, and start getting more ribbons on her like i had set out to do. (for the record, she had been fed horrendous poffins when i was a kid, and the contest ribbons were extremely & excessively difficult to get as a result, but i digress, i'll save talking about that for some other time). but one thing was still bothering me after all of this...

as a kid, i was spotty with naming my pokemon. i kind of had a whole thing where often times their species... felt like their name? so it felt weird to overwrite their species name sometimes. but despite wanting to honor my childhood self's wishes, the one thing i couldn't get past was this buizel lacking a name. i wanted to name her after all this time. but how on earth was i supposed to name a pokemon so meaningful to me after over a decade since she was first caught?

there were so many deepcut references to my childhood i could have made, so many thoughtful names... but i ended up just going with Hope. a simple name for a simple joy in a really complicated time of my life, something i probably would have named a pokemon at that age, and straightforwardly emblematic as to what she represents to me. because she is hope. i survived to catch her for real, not in my dying daydreams, and if i survived that then hope surely exists and i can survive anything.

and so i traded her to pearl one last time to give her her new name.

and this is hope now, in my platinum version:

i hadn't shared her nature until now. i think "brave" is really fitting. and as you can see i've been working really hard on her ribbons. eventually when i have all of them (just a few battle tower ones left to go!) i'll be transferring her up to see other pokemon regions and get all the ribbons she can, but i'll definitely be keeping a copy of her in gen 4 forever as a time capsule.

if you read this far thanks for reading this really overly personal and emotional account about this random buizel i just so happen to have. pokemon continues to surprise me with how much a cluster of 1s and 0s and some pixel art can mean, despite me getting attached to, and sentimental over them, time after time again. though out of all of them, hope has to be one of the most irreplaceable. i'm really, really glad i never traded her to diamond, and i'm glad i still have her around. i want to cherish her for a very long time & as i continue working on the ribboning process i'll post updates about her. just uh. don't expect that to be fast because i am ribboning a lot of pokemon right now lol

[em1e]

⠀ ⠀ ༝ i hate you for what you did, and i miss you like a little kid.

⠀ 一虎 // MOTION SICKNESS ⠀ ༝ ༝ kazutora hanemiya ⠀ ༝ ༝ 2.3k words ⠀ ⚠︎ angst + valhalla spoilers + IM SORRY ! ⠀ — he’s taller, now, hair bleached, but it’s still those same wide eyes that meet your own.

january 16, 2000 

baji and kazutora were constants in your life. 

being neighbors with baji left you trailing behind him like a puppy, and the idea of having someone as kind as you by his side made him happy - so despite his complaints and the bickering that always ensued between the two of you, he decided to keep you tucked away like a secret. 

and when he introduces you to kazutora, it’s another warm friendship melting easily with the first. 

and the three of you form an unbreakable bond, with the promise to always help each other when in need. kazutora would spend more time in your house than his own, and your parents take him in easily. it’s a taste of love he’s never felt, and when he lays on your bedroom floor next to a sleeping baji, he finds it hard to fall asleep with that feeling swelling deep in his chest and taking root under his heart. 

august 22, 2003 

it’s baji who comes to your door late one night. who else, when his other half is in juvie as he tells you. 

you break into a sob at the news, and it’s baji who holds you with apologies falling off of his lips as if somehow he’s to blame for it all. 

he holds you until you wear yourself out, and stays with you when you beg him to through tears. another promise it made there, to never leave one another behind, and it’s a promise you intend to hold kazutora to once he’s released. 

baji rubs your back until you’re asleep, and he wonders if there was something he could’ve done to avoid this heartache; from seeing his friend carted away in handcuffs, from seeing you cry. he wishes he could go back, just for a moment, to change this outcome. 

september 12, 2004

you wrote to kazutora when you could, but never received any replies. baji caught you once in the middle of you preparing a life update, snatching the paper from your desk and holding it above your head when you reached for it. 

“give it back, baji!” 

he stands on his toes to keep it out of your grasp, and chifuyu grumbles from your floor something about that not being the study sheet we’re working on. 

“what’s this, a love letter?” he snorts, squinting to read the letters, “‘happy birthday kazu! baji and i miss you lots, even if he won’t say it outloud-’.” 

you stomp on his foot and snatch the letter away when he slouches in pain, glaring at him, “you’re such a dick sometimes.” 

“he never writes you back, i don’t know why you keep sending those.” baji huffed out, sitting on the floor beside chifuyu, “he probably doesn’t even get them.” 

“what does it matter,” you roll your eyes, placing the paper in a folder and leaving it on your desk, exchanging it for the aforementioned study sheet, “s’not like it’s anything to do with you anyways.” 

“it does,” he argues, despite the glare you send him, “my name is very clearly mentioned.” 

“i just don’t want him to think we’ve forgotten about him or don’t care about him.” you say finally, and the way your gaze falls on him leaves him looking away with a small fine, whatever. 

the tension that remains bleeds from the air and crawls under your skin, but chifuyu clears his throat and flips through the first few pages of the worksheet with a hum, “what the fuck is hydrolysis?” and that is enough to clear the air.  

october 20, 2005

two years pass and not a single letter is returned. 

some days you wonder if you should call the center, ask if maybe there was something wrong with what you’re putting in them as if that could be the reason he isn’t getting them, but the fear of knowing that not being the reason he won’t reply frightens you beyond belief. you want to ask the post office if there’s any way all one-hundred and six letters could have been lost in the mail or sent to the wrong place, but you’re all-too aware of the return address being labeled as your home. 

instead, you settle with the unknown. there’s no getting hurt that way, no way of truly finding out if he was ignoring you for all of two years. 

it’s not until you bump shoulders with a stranger outside of the market that you get to piece things together. you’d recognize that tiger tattoo from anywhere. 

“‘tora?” 

the bags you’re holding almost slip from your grasp, scrambling to free a hand to grab at his elbow and turn him around. he’s taller, now, hair bleached, but it’s still those same wide eyes that meet your own. you swallow dryly. 

“when- when’d you get out?” 

he tilts his head at you, earring chiming from the movement, “last week. thought baji would’ve told you.” 

“me too . . .” you’re hurt by the admission, he can tell. you clear your throat, “the letters i sent - did you ever get them?” 

“i did.” 

the confession is enough to break what little resolve you have, frowning, “unable to reply, or . .?”

“didn’t see the need, “ he hums out, straightening with a smile when he looks behind you. a glance over your shoulder and you see baji, sharp toothed grin faltering when his eyes find you. 

“what a nice reunion,” baji settles for when he finds himself standing beside kazutora, patting your head before wrapping an arm around kazutora’s shoulders, “should’ve planned a picnic or somethin’.” 

you shove at baji’s shoulder half heartedly, “why didn't you tell me kazu was released, you asshole. and what happened to your knuckles?”

he jerks his hand from your grasp when you grab for it, ignoring the hurt you hold in the furrow of your brow at his reaction. 

“huh? must’ve slipped my mind,” he pulls on kazutora’s shoulder, forcing him to turn, “anyways, we gotta go! have plans we just can’t miss.” he gives a wave as he walks away, kazutora in tow. 

you come home that night to a message from baji. barely able to finish reading it through your tears, but you’re able to get the basic understanding. 

kazutora and i decided we’re on different paths in life, so we’re cutting you out. 

the promise to stay together breaks apart by the seams with each tear that falls down your cheeks. kazutora never replied to your letters, didn’t even bother to look for you after he got out, and baji’s being ripped from your grasp. it feels like every piece of yourself you’ve been holding onto for the past two years is being brutally torn away from you with each second that passes, and for the first time in your life, there is no one there to help you hold it all together. 

november 3, 2005

you’d been planning his birthday for weeks before the actual date. despite the message he sent to you previously, you’d continued to prepare for something, even if he wouldn’t show up. 

except, that’s not the reason he doesn’t come. 

it’s chifuyu now, who distributes the bad news to you with a frown, and you want to tear down each decoration you’ve put around your home as if that’d undo the words that have left his lips. 

and when you crumble to the floor, it’s chifuyu who comforts you in a way that’s all too familiar, but never the same as before. you’d never feel that comfort again, nor the warmth that'd surround baji like a fire. you have to pry the details out of him, beg for anything he’s willing to give. how did it happen. was it painless. did he suffer. did he cry. who started it.

he answers to the best of his ability through his own tears, explaining kazutora stabbed him first but baji delivered the final blow to himself, and those words leave you folding in on yourself even more.

“kazutora’s in jail now for that, will be for ten years.” 

it’s like each new addition to the story is you taking punch after punch, and chifuyu is glad that little bit of information is last on his list - unsure if you can take anymore hits. you’re practically gasping for air by the end of it, and with some effort, chifuyu is forcing you to sit up, forcing you to take a second and just breathe. 

he only goes home when the reality of it all has settled, leaving you hollow sitting on your bed. on numb legs, you stand and walk to your desk, ripping out a page from your notebook to hastily write. 

i hate you, kazutora. i want you and baji back and i hate you for taking him away from me. i hate you and i miss you and you’re the worst

the words blur together, ink bleeding into blobs as your tears fall onto the paper. you crumble up the page and throw it across the room with a sniff, unable to believe what you’ve written. 

july 05, 2015

your brows furrow at the sound of knocking on your door. chifuyu told you he’d be an hour late to your hangout, stuck organizing a shipment that came early he’d told you over the phone, but the sound of knocking again proves he’s a liar. 

“you don’t have to knock if i know you’re coming-” you start as you pull the door open, only to stop when it’s not chifuyu behind it. 

kazutora stares at you, and it’s still those same wide eyes as he takes you in. there’s no blonde left in his hair, you note dully, and he’s gotten taller. you’re practically frozen in place by his appearance on your doorstep. 

“hi.” he breathes out finally, offering a bouquet you hadn’t even realized he was holding, and his lip quivers when you hesitate to take it. 

you clear your throat, “when . . . when did you get out?” you look down at the flowers to avoid looking at him and god he could break down right here. the smell of your home comes off in waves, clawing at the deepest parts of him and settling with the reminder of childhood. he wants to bottle it up, breathe it in for the rest of his life to keep those memories forever. 

“few days ago. ‘fuyu picked me up.” 

you pull your lip between your teeth, a nasty habit he remembers when you were young, before you’re taking a step back so he can enter your home. he does so slowly, as if any sudden movement could startle you away from him. he’s almost certain it would. 

“was waiting on him,” you mumble out, finally looking at him, “‘fuyu.” you’re unsure why you clarify, but he nods nonetheless. 

“he told me.” 

silence fills the air again, neither of you wanting to break what fragility remains on your shoulders, until kazutora moves to dig through the bag he’s brought with him. you eye him warily, still very unsure of what to make of it all, when he pulls out a folder filled with stacks of papers. 

he offers it to you, and you take it with less hesitation than before, trading it with him for the bouquet so you can open it properly. 

august 30, 2003

dear kazutora, 

kazutora watches as your eyes widen while they dance across the paper, immediately beginning to flip through each of the worn pages as if the rest of the stack could be fake, before you meet his gaze. 

“are these . . ?” 

“i kept them all.” he explains softly, trying so so hard to read your expression. 

and when you throw yourself into his arms, almost crushing the flowers between the two of you, he’s stunned. 

he holds you when your knees buckle, and carefully eases the two of you to the ground. holds you when your tears stain his shirt, and holds you even tighter as apologies fall from his lips. for baji, for not caring enough, for not righting his wrong when he should’ve. for not writing you back. 

as he breathes you in, he realizes how familiar this feels, how familiar you are, and suddenly he’s back to being a stupid thirteen year old with an even stupider adoration for you. he’s scared he’s squeezing you too tight, but you’re holding him like he’s your last lifeline and it takes all of him not to do the same. 

“i don't want to be like baji and not tell you how much i missed you.” he whispers, and it has a small laugh leaving your lips. a sound he hasn’t heard in so fucking long, it’s all he want to hear for as long as he’s alive. 

“i forgive you,” you say softly, when the tears finally subside and your grip on one another lessens enough for you to be able to lean away and look at him, “forgive you for baji and not caring and not writing me back.” 

the remission is enough to have him fighting back his own tears, and when you brush a strand of hair from his face to cup his cheek softly, it breaks what little resolve he has left. then it’s you taking him back into your arms, holding him as gently as you can as the assurances pass your lips as something so sweet and soft and everything he has ever missed in the last twelve years sits cradled in his arms. 

there’s something so sickly sweet about it all that has chifuyu wishing he would’ve been a little more precarious while putting everything away at the shop - regrettably ruining the moment when he stumbles into your house with beers and yakisoba.

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️BUTTERS STOTCH HEADCANONS✨️

TW: mentions of alcohol, child abuse, hints of homophobia.

• Leopold Victor Stotch

• He/Him, She/Her (Genderfluid)

• Born on September 11th, 2004

• 5'6"

• Bisexual

• Friends with almost everyone in school. Even the goths have hung out with him once or twice.

• Butters was the first one to cut off Cartman after he got involved in another stunt that ended in him getting grounded and beaten by Stephen.

• Once Cartman started being decent, Butters forgave him almost immediately but still kept a distance until he moved away from his parents.

• Still dresses as Marjorine.

• Put puts glitter eyeshadow on ninja star scar.

• Listens to Alec Benjamin, Carrie Underwood, Dolly Parton and Lana Del Rey.

• Wears cherry lip balm (and eats it)

• Got a hummingbird tattoo from Kenny

• Has a pair of pink sneakers painted Hello Kitty on.

• Also amazingly good at art and drawing hyper realistic portraits.

• After years of being grounded, abused, and forced into dangerous situations, Butters started to genuinely hate his parents.

• As a teenager, he completely lost all love for them and a particular hatred for Stephen. He addressed them by sir and ma'am instead of 'mom' and 'dad'. He didn't even bother smiling or appearing cheerful for them, he just kept a blank face and emotionless tone.

• He moved out on his 18th birthday and cut contact with his family immediately.

• He didn't see them again until his grandmother's funeral when he turned 20. He feels guilty about it, but he smiled a little seeing her dead body.

• His father immediately got angry because Butters hadn't called them and was dressing more feminine than he did as a child. Butters finally lost his cool and cursed out Stephen, releasing all of his pent up rage at his parents. He hasn't spoken to them since.

• Has a big crush on Kenny but he values their friendship too much to act on it.

• Plays Hello Kitty games on his iPad. And Candy Crush.

• Absolutely LOVES sunflowers and tulips.

• Went through an emo phase in middle school

• He dyed his hair with Kool-Aid because his parents wouldn't buy him hair dye.

• Butters tried to drink when he was 13. He couldn't handle the bitterness of most alcohol so all he drinks are margaritas and Long Island Iced Tea

• He's still the same cheerful, happy-go-lucky idiot he always was. But he has way less tolerance for people hurting him and will stand his ground much easier. And he's finally went to therapy so he's not this time bomb of suppressed rage.

• Dresses up as Professor Chaos for every Halloween.

• He's kind of strong but he doesn't exercise so he can't lift much.

• Feels like a badass eating raw cookie dough.

Yall, does him dressing as Marjorine and going by different pronouns as that persona, count as gender fluid? Let me know.

Also Butters is so sweet and adorable he deserves the world.

LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE IM CRYING-

[aubadeatelier]

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man!

On 31 May 2004, an amazing journey began with Allen Walker making his way to the European Branch of the Black Order as a new exorcist.

And now, it is 31 May 2024, 20 years of a still on-going journey. A lot has happened and changed and yet, he keeps walking.

Happy Birthday, D. Gray-man! And thank you for everything you've brought to me and so many others!

This post contains the pieces I did for the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. 1 Party Doodle and 2 Redraw Project pages. Please enjoy! To see the whole zine, please access the zine through the link below to the project tumblr!

✦ D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine ✦

Please make sure to take a look at the whole zine! I had the greatest honor to work with more than 100+ amazing artists across the world. It would mean a lot to me and all those who worked on this zine to have our work seen together as one!

(PS. I asked a funny little question in the Party Doodle section of the zine!)

[Beyond this point are my pieces and some fun facts!]

Party Doodle || A Celebration from 35 Years Ago featuring from bottom left, Mana D. Campbell, Nea D. Campbell, ???, Cross Marian, and Timcampy. ✦ I originally made this celebration doodle with the intention of just drawing Nea, ???, and Timcampy. But upon popular demand and the power of friendship (shoutout to Hana Hazel, Kanin, and Sabhamun), I ended up adding Cross Marian and Mana! And honestly, the additions were a great idea and really make the piece feel more lively and fun! (Also we need more Campbell brothers content damn it. I wanna see them happy!) ✦ Also, if any of your are up-to-date at this point, you know Chapter 251 coming out shook so many things including this piece that was already done when it released. But! I think it's fun to keep it as is as a relic of the pre-251 era. (Who knows? Maybe I'll make a fixed version!)

Redraw Project Page 01 || Chapter 04. Page 119. ✦ The first redraw page I received for assignment! I ended up liking the page, because it felt to me an integral establishing page for the series' themes. I may have gotten a little overboard with how I wanted to interpret the page, but I thought originally I would not be doing a second page and thus, wanted to put a lot of effort. In D. Gray-man, Akuma are created when a person makes a deal with the Millennium Earl. More often than not, the person has no idea what this deal entails, only that they can bring their loved one back from the dead if they agree to it. But what happens when the person is aware or knows not to accept the Earl's deal? And we receive a heart-wrenching, but understandable answer. To have the knowledge of the Earl's tricks does not automatically save a person. The Earl preys on the vulnerable. He appears and makes his offer to those in the deepest pits of despair and grief. That is how he got Leo. He was just a kid who lost his mother. He may have known more about the Earl and Akuma, because of his friendship with Jean, but when you are grieving kid-- what do you do when someone promises you they'll bring back your mother who was taken from you so suddenly? It is difficult to say no. ✦ The books that frame the piece are meant to convey this emphasis of knowledge and study-- the days Jean and Leo spent reading through Jean's father's books and notes about the Earl and Akuma with intention to patrol their town and keep people safe. Ultimately, a book page is the last panel, showing a representation of Leo and the Earl at a grave as Leo becomes an example of a person who takes the Earl's deal and whose body is taken by an Akuma. ✦ The blue tones of Jean and the Akuma were on purpose made to contrast the warmer tones of Jean and Leo's days together. ✦ It was crazy getting to draw an Akuma's face. It was a challenge to try and draw kids, but I ended getting through it pretty well. ✦ There are a few silly easter eggs in the open books. I put a small anniversary message in one. And in the other, I tried to sketch Cornelia and the Campbell Estate with the lyrics of the 14th's song. A nod to some content in the later parts of the series.

Redraw Project Page 02 || Chapter 01. Page 38. ✦ Originally, the plan was I only would do 1 redraw page and 1 doodle, but we needed fill-ins and I took a shot at it! ✦ When I found out it was a page from Chapter 1, I was ecstatic! I had originally wanted to do one from the chapter, but they were high in demand which was more than understandable. ✦ Unlike my first redraw page, I decided to be a little more simplistic with the layout. This layout is not too far off from that of the Katsura Hoshino's, but I made a few changes such as certain angles, drawing characters closer to emphasize faces. ✦ I am not the strongest with backgrounds and drawing buildings, but I ended up enjoying the challenge of it all. Thankfully, a lot of other artists in the project tackled the building and referenced the original page, the pages and sketches of the building or interior by other project artists, and the anime to ready myself to tackle it! ✦ The spirals of the Akuma bullet gave me trouble at first, but then I ended up enjoying it as I figured it out. ✦ This page was overall a big joy to play with as it challenged me with backgrounds, certain effects, and word bubbles.

And with that, this concludes the tour of my work on the D. Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine. I have so much to say about this series and what it means to me, but I will try not to make this post horridly longer.

D. Gray-man is the series that made me fall in love with storytelling and art. It showed me something that filled an emptiness I felt. It gave me joy and company at a time where I felt unsure who I was and felt like an outcast. My resolution after this project is to continuously grow better at my stories and art. I hope to make something as meaningful to myself and others as D. Gray-man is.

Happy 20th Anniversary D. Gray-man! I hope and pray for more wonderful chapters and for there to be a lovely conclusion someday. For now, let us keep walking together!

[madamlaydebug]

Happy 60th Birthday to Harold Perrineau.

Born August 7, 1963, He is best known for his roles as Michael Dawson on the television series Lost (2004–2008; 2010), Link in The Matrix franchise (2003), and Mercutio in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet (1996).

He has also starred in the films Smoke (1995), The Edge (1997), The Best Man (1999), 28 Weeks Later (2007), and Zero Dark Thirty (2012). His other television credits include Oz (1997–2003), Sons of Anarchy (2012), Constantine (2014–2015), Claws (2017–present), and The Rookie (2019–2021).

[georgiespapers]

A Oscar appreciation post because I love him so much. Even though some are old with zero consistency.

Also him and Heather, I adore them.

19/12/23: Updating this to include his story; Father's Gambit

14/01/24: Remembered write his backstory... more or less.

Oscar James Sunderland is James’s son, a product of a one night stand with Oriana (a OC, who alongside her husband Charles are a part of the Valtiel sect of the Order) born in October 1991.

He was handed over to Frank by Charles after Oriana died during childbirth. (I’ve considered the possibility that Oscar is Walter’s half-brother. Same mum, different fathers idk yet)

He’s albino, inherited from Frank (he’s albino) and Oriana. With it he’s very blind preferring contacts over glasses but keeps a pair just in case.

He also has crippling arachnophobia after being bitten by one and another crawling on his face.

He was raised by James and Mary mostly alongside Alex, who is Mary’s nephew. The couple planned to adopt Alex but Mary fell ill and lost contact with him towards the end of Mary’s life. 

During the last year of Mary’s life; a year prior to SH2, James sent Oscar to live with Frank as he couldn’t cope with caring for both Mary and Oscar.

When SH2 (1998, Oscar would be 7) happened James abruptly whisked Oscar away with to Silent Hill under the guise of seeing Mary one last time… but it was so James can commit a murder/suicide.

Oscar had no monsters of his own but did see his father’s monsters and they ignored him. This also includes the PH who was his guardian during the times that Oscar and James got separated.

They got separated in Brookhaven after Laura locked James in a room. He fought Laura to get the key back but was too late, James had been whisked off into the Otherworld so PH babysat Oscar.

The PH would also escort him through the prison level after being too scared to jump after his dad.

Oscar’s arachnophobia developed into entomophobia

After finding out the truth, James took Oscar and Laura back to his car. He left Oscar with his jacket and said his goodbyes before taking off in his car to drive it into the lake. Both sat abandoned at the entrance to the town before Travis came along and picked them.

He had every intention to take the kids to Brahms but bumped into Aubrey McLynne (OC) on the way when stopping for gas.

It was then Aubrey took over, Travis was all too happy to hand the kids to a lady. It was awkward and Laura was pretty chatty.

The McLynnes ended up adopting Laura. They tried to reunite Oscar with Frank but Frank felt he was better off with them. They looked rich, surely they could get the help Oscar needed. (Frank was wrong about getting therapy) So the McLynnes adopted Oscar, they were taught how to fight, both doing kickboxing/boxing from 8 and 9.

Frank and Oscar’s relationship greatly suffered and were barely communicating

In 2004, the family moved from Brahms to Chamberlain when the kids were in the 8th grade (Oscar 13 and Laura 14).

It was then that Oscar met Heather, they were classmates before becoming friends (Heather is a grade behind due her stunted education)

In 2005, Oscar and Frank reconnected thanks to Murphy who had moved into the apartments. Murphy befriended Frank and offered to taxi Oscar to and from his home. The long drives enabled Murphy and Oscar to develop a father and son relationship

Between here and SH3, 2007. Oscar, 14 who once had a gap tooth now has upper front partial dentures after smashing his teeth in. He was trying to impress Heather while on a dirtbike… failed miserably.

And whilst working on a car with Murphy, Oscar’s right ring and pinky fingers were crushed under a wheel severing his pinky while degloving the other. They were amputated. It was a few months prior to SH3, so he was 16. (Oscar also got a DeLorean for his 16th birthday as his first car)

He also has a talent for acting and got the lead role in their school’s drama club production of Footloose which got Heather to fall for him.

As SH3 happened, Oscar and Heather were on their first date at a mall then a movie, possibly to see either The Mist or Paranormal Activity…. They had their own horror movie instead.

During Silent Hill, he gets a lovely cut on his forehead after Heather throws the seal of Metatron at him. He scared her with his red eyes. He also does get injured after cracking his ribs from taking the brunt of the fall from the rollercoaster for Heather. 

He also gets a bisexual awakening from Vincent after he tends to the cut on his forehead.

Oscar also became a dad to Harper, a baby that appeared after god was slain. (Basically a reincarnation of Alessa)

After SH3, Heather moves into Oscar’s place until they graduated school at 18. It was also at 18 that he was made to work for his adoptive father, Russell. Russell is the drug warlord/don/head of a gang and he made Oscar his personal hitman. He orders him to kill a person, under duress that if he doesn't, his family will be killed. Oscar did as he was told but also pointed the gun at Russell in anger, because of this the boy was beaten within an inch of his life.

From his injuries, Oscar developed nystagmus (eye twitching)

After this, Oscar with Heather and Harper moved to Ashfield into the apartments. Although he still worked for Russell (he had 20 hits before the crash). He reunites with Alex, who Travis brought back. He also married Heather at 25 and fathering a child (Anya) with her at 26 via IVF (and Eileen also carried her)

Oh and he runs a charity that helps Ashfield homeless/poverish population purely self-serving, for he has a guilty conscious.

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday former Snooker World Champion Graeme Dott, born May 12th 1977 in Larkhall.

Dott won the UK Under-19 Championship in 1992 and Scottish Amateur Championship in 1993 and turned. professional in 1994. He slowly climbed the rankings, reaching the top sixteen in 2001.

Graham has won two ranking titles, the 2006 World Snooker Championship and the 2007 China Open, and was runner-up in the World Championships of 2004 and 2010. His highest ranking was number 2 in the world in 2007, but a subsequent episode of clinical depression seriously affected his form, causing him to drop to number 28 for the 2009/2010 season. He then recovered his form, regained his top-16 ranking, and reached a third World Championship final. In 2011.

In his 2011 autobiography Frame of Mind, Dott describes his childhood growing up in the run-down Easterhouse estate in Glasgow. As a boy, he developed a strong relationship with Alex Lambie, a snooker club owner from Larkhall in Lanarkshire, who mentored Dott from the age of 12 and went on to manage his professional career. Dott has described Lambie as a “second father” to him .In 1997, Dott began a relationship with Lambie’s 16-year-old daughter Elaine. The couple married in 2003 and had their first child, a son named Lewis, in 2004. In January 2006, Alex Lambie was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer. Although he lived to see Dott win the World Championship in May of that year, he died on 16 December 2006, while Dott was playing in the 2006 UK Championship.

Weeks afterwards, Elaine, who was pregnant, had a cancer scare when doctors discovered potentially cancerous cysts on her ovaries. Although she turned out not to have cancer, she suffered a miscarriage while Dott was playing in the 2007 Masters. After these experiences, Dott entered a severe depression, which affected his commitment to practice and his performance in matches .He lost 15 professional matches in a row and slid down the rankings, dropping out of the top 16.Dott and his wife had a second child, a daughter Lucy, born in November 2008.

Last month lifted the lid on his struggles away from the table.

"It’s been a terrible season for me. The results haven’t been good enough, I know that. I’ve had some things going on off the table, which I’d rather not divulge. But it’s been tough, it has been hard if I’m honest.

Dott was knocked out in the qualifying round of the recent World Championship 10-5 by Welshamn Jackson Page.

[mitamicah]

My experience having my birthday at a Blind Channel concert (Pumpehuset, Copenhagen April 22 2024)

Better late than never here's my few cent about my (birthday) concert with Blind Channel last month :3

Me and a friend arrived at 3 pm where a cute little queue consisting of 3 Finns and 3 german people had gathered. This was where I got my first birthday song of the evening (it wouldn't be the last).

The queueing reminded me a lot of Malmö yet this time I was less surprised since I have more experience with Danish queues. (we are not very good at queueing for long periods of time especially on a monday xD) I did meet a handful of lovely people tho including a fan France, one from the Netherlands and a fellow danish fan who'd seen the band four times. One of the german fans were so kind of gifting me their VIP bag (since they'd gotten quite a few on this tour alone having early entrance/meet and greet to more or less all the shows). Despite having nothing personally to gift the fans this time this wouldn't be the last bit of merch I'd get since a fan later gifted me a homemade silk bracelet :'3

At 5.30 (aka my time of birth) the queue was starting to form. Me however decided to play Käärijä from my phone so the first song I'd hear in my 29th year would be Cha Cha Cha. The three Finns from earlier were right next to me when I sang my way through the song and they were surprised I wasn't from Finland xD. Me explaining why in the world I chose to play CCC in the middle of queuing got people to sing a second row of Happy Birthday xD

We ended up getting a pretty good spot on third row at the concert. The venue was tiny (I believe it was the small one with the capacity of 300 people) yet I was hopeful since last intimate concert I'd been to (Malmö) became one of my favourites real fast.

First band of the evening was Cold Culture from Denmark. I couldn't unsee the resemblance between Mads the frontman and Bojan (you may have seen my other post about this x'D). So I was sorta stalking him with my camera the whole set and the one time I didn't, he reached out to hold my hand (just like Bojan x'D). I didn't get the same stomach churning awe as with Bojan however but it was still a magical moment :'D. The band were really good and I have been pretty hooked on their sound since pretty much one half of a song played that evening.

Next band was Rock Band From Hell that - unfortunately given their name - is not really from Hell but are from Finland xD. Another pleasant surprise and once again a band where I felt drawn to the frontman but this time because his fit was the perfect mixture of nostalgia (think 2004/American Idiot Green Day) and gender envy (fishnets and coloured hair included) for me. The songs too were heavily influenced by 2000s pop punk which is just up my alley so I had a blast. My friend caught a guitar pick from Frontman Jani and then gave it to me as a birthday gift which I am more than grateful for :'D <3

Blind Channel got on stage around 10 pm and their set too was a lot of fun. I had made a sign basically stating it was indeed my birthday (as it turned out I was the only one there with a sign OVO) which I put up after the third song. Joel noticed and then lead the audience through a round of happy birthday (I had honestly no idea what I'd expected to happen with the sign so this was a pleasant surprise). At one point the band started requesting for moshpits which was a bit of a disaster given half of us were not into it (think closer to the Joker Out crowd in terms of overwhelmingly being girls and gays present) and the other half trying way too hard to make up for it. When the band realised that this wouldn't work they instead started a circle pit and that felt more right (I was in it and Mads from CC was too). It took me almost the entire circle pit to realise Joel had place himself in the middle of our pit and stood there unbothered singning x'D.

When the circle pit stopped I found myself having lost my good spot at the front and where now closer to the back. It didn't matter too much given the tiny size of the venue so I could still see just fine. The danish flag got on stage during the Dark Side encore which felt really good experiencing actually seeing my own flag being tossed around at one of these concerts (I am so used to it being Swedish, German or Finnish flags now x'D).

After half-heartedly attempting to get a pick, drumstick or setlist after the concert (spoilers: I didn't get either) I went to the merch stand where I got to talk to Jani and Jere from RBFH (frontman and guitarist) and knowing me of course I ended up venting about Finland and Käärijä for half a minute xD they were really nice tho and I bought their album ^V^

Then I went to chat with Cold Culture and got pictures with almost the whole band (keyboardist Andy had to get home since he lived 4-5 hours away). the guys were more than a little excited learning that it was my birthday. They sung Happy Birthday to me at least twice and drummer Andy (there are two with the same name but pronounced differently to make the confusion even bigger x'D) were especially excited about my flag cape (I had a flag with arms on the entire evening x'D) so he got to wear it and I almost just gifted it to him then and there :'D.

Having spoken to CC for a while (I can confidently say Mads also has a personality that resembles Bojan) a merch person got out with a shirt that had a minor defect that they couldn't sell. Turned out that would be my last accidental birthday gift x'D.

After a while we got hushed out by security yet gathered around the venue to talk/digest about the concert. Standing close to the bus we got to say hi to quite a few of the members from Blind Channel including guitarist Joonas (the fan from France got a photo with him) and Joel (he remembered me as the person with the birthday so he said happy birthday again :D <3).

Around 2-3 am (so 12 hours after arriving x'D) we said our goodbyes and me and my friend went home to my mother's house were we were staying. I got like 3 hours of sleep that night and a sore throat but it was definitely worth it given the amount of experiences we got this one night. Definitely in my top 5 if not top 3 of recent concerts although personally I'd say Käärijä in Berlin and Joker Out in Malmö is still a bit higher for me personally even considering the amount of little blessings from this evening :'D

[heavenboy09]

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 To You The Blonde Haired Legendary American Actress 👱🏻‍♀️& 1 Of The Highest Paid Actresses In Hollywood & Kick @$$ Redheaded👩‍🦰 Spy / Assassin Avenger Of The MCU

Born On November 22nd, 1984

She is an American actress and singer. The world's highest-paid actress in 2018 and 2019, she has been featured multiple times on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. Time named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2021. Johansson's films have grossed over $15.4 billion worldwide, making her the highest-grossing box office female star of all time. She has received various accolades, including a British Academy Film Award, a Tony Award, and nominations for two Academy Awards and five Golden Globe Awards.

Johansson first appeared on stage in an off-Broadway play as a child actress. She made her film debut in the fantasy comedy North (1994) and gained early recognition for her roles in Manny & Lo (1996), The Horse Whisperer (1998), and Ghost World (2001). Her shift to adult roles came in 2003 with Lost in Translation, for which she won the BAFTA Award for Best Actress. She continued to gain praise for playing a 17th-century servant in Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003), a troubled teenager in A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004) and a seductress in Match Point (2005). The latter marked her first collaboration with Woody Allen, who later directed her in Scoop (2006) and Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008). Johansson's other works of this period include The Prestige (2006) and the albums Anywhere I Lay My Head (2008) and Break Up (2009), both of which charted on the Billboard 200.

In 2010, Johansson debuted on Broadway in a revival of A View from the Bridge, which won her the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play, and began portraying Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe film Iron Man 2. She reprised the role in eight films, leading up to her solo feature Black Widow (2021), gaining global stardom.

She voiced Elita-1 in Transformers One, an animated prequel to the Transformers film series.

In addition, Johansson will join the Jurassic Park franchise in Jurassic World Rebirth, and will return to the MCU as an executive producer on Thunderbolts*.

Labeled a sex symbol, Johansson has been referred to as one of the world's most attractive women by various media outlets. She is a prominent brand endorser and supports several charitable causes.

Please Wish This Iconic & Well Known Remarkable & Beautiful Blonde Haired American Actress👱🏻‍♀️ Of Hollywood, A Very Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊

YOU ALL KNOW HER VERY WELL

YOU ALL SEEN HER MOVIES 🎥 SINCE SHE STARTED OUT AS A CHILD STAR ACTOR

& ALL THE BOYS🙎‍♂️ CANT HELP BUT DROOL 🤤 OVER HER & HER BLONDE HAIRED BEAUTY 👱🏻‍♀️

THE 1 & ONLY

MS. SCARLETT INGRID JOHANSSON 👱🏻‍♀️ AKA NATASHA ROMANOFF, THE BLACK ⚫ WIDOW 👩‍🦰🕷 OF THE MCU

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 TO YOU MS. JOHANSSON 👱🏻‍♀️ & HERE'S TO MANY MORE YEARS TO COME

#ScarlettJohansson #BlackWidow #NatashaRomanoff #MCU #ElitaOne #TransformersOne

[miasudare]

Note: I do NOT claim her to be PJ's actual mother. She is just the mother in THIS AU. Only in rNaJ

She is a big girlie.

Her unfinished Bartender suit (I'm bad at heels)

Name: Petal (Poppy) @miasudare

Age: 37

Gender: Female (she/her)

Bartender at Tipsy Head

Her family was one of the original families in ssu (safe spot universe) meaning she doesn't have an au. Petal grew up in a house filled with plant obsessed people. Both of her parents worked at their plant park. There were fruits, vegetables, trees and flowers. She had a big sister named Withra who she really loved. For some reason Withra hated the plant park and so Petal started to hate it too.

In highschool, she was known for being all giggly and sweet. She was very childish towards her friends, making them think that she was quite dumb. She had a lot of friends but she only had best friend, Isık. And only Isık knew that if she wanted, Petal could be very smart.

Petal loved chemistry and biology. She knew her plant knowledge would help her too. Since her relationship with teachers were good enough, the chemistry teacher would give the key after school for her to use.

Petal would make a lot of cool stuff such as; liquid cats, healing potions, growing soil for her ingredients, a lot of pastel versions of birds, love potions for heartbreaked girls, pills for hangovers, beauty creams, and some non-cool stuff such as; poisons, drowning perfume, killer flower, a flesh eating worm (she lost it in the school), an apple that would instantly grow thornes after being bit, lots of acids ect.

In 2002 Petal sold some stuff to Error for a few times and they became friends. Error would buy her ingredients and she would create whatever he needed. After a while they became lovers. In 2004 at their graduation, her and Error got a little bit too "freaky". And she was pregnant... With twins... Oh boy.

On March 5th 2005 (using Gradient's official birthday for the sake of logic) Gradient and PaperJam was born. She didn't go to university to look after them while Error was going to Delta-University to become a teacher. Petal was alone most of the time, she wasn't complaining of course she had two freaking adorable babies y'know.

In late 2005's Error proposed to her. Since they had some financial problems from the twins, they had to marry after they were born.

On June 20th 2007 (I couldn't find any info on his b-day so I just went with his characteristics and made up) Cil was born. She now had 3 beautiful children. She was happy with her family.

Until, 2017 when her and Error got divorced. They knew they had a problem and didn't want their kids to get more affected from it. It was for the good. She got the custody of Gray. Error got PJ. Since Cil was only 10 his custody was shared. Every now and then Cil visits her.

And 2018-today:

Since she had to take care of Gradient, she needed a job. While she was looking for jobs, her sister Withra let them in her home. Petal wanted to make money but the job needed to be University free, since she wasn't been able to get that kind of education. Lucky for her she found a job as a bartender. For her it was a fun thing. She liked making beverages because it reminded her the way she would make things in the chemistry class. Speaking of that, she can make some extra money from it right?

Now she is been a bartender for 5 years. She has her own home, cars and a healthy son. She can't want anything else from life!

☆She still has her childrens baby cloths. Sometimes she hugs them.

☆She misses PJ a lot but they don't call or message that often as Cil. So she just gets mad at herself.

☆She used to be so afraid of Nightmare. But when her and Error had something she knew she could count on him.

☆She almost got arrested a few times.