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immabethehero · 4 years ago

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Schneeplestein Apparently Has a Heart

The good doctor’s birthday is here and of course I wrote a story! Just warning, this story is quite dark. Read the trigger warnings below.

TW: Suicide attempt by gunshot (not seen, just implied), suicidal thoughts and words, extreme distress, minor violence, blood mentioned.

For the short amount of time that Jackieboy Man and Marvin the Magnificent have lived with Dr. Henrik Nicholas von Schneeplestein, MD, PhD, MVP, FFS, they have learned a few important lessons, or rules:

NEVER, under any circumstances, touch the top left cupboard on the outside of the kitchen opening. That’s where Schneep’s coffee supply is, and if you touch it, even ONCE, Schneep will be out for your blood.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you mention Schneep’s wife, Lisette Schneeplestein. Apparently, the French brunette whom Schneep has been married to for the past 7 years has fucked off (Schneep’s words) back to France with her tennis instructor, Rick, short for Ricardo (Italian, apparently) and taken their two daughters with her. (Schneep has cleaned out Lisette and the girls’ rooms, and all the belongings they have left behind, in their efforts to leave so quickly, are packed away in storage containers in the garage. Schneep has yet to mail them to Lisette’s new address.)

DO NOT wake Schneep earlier than 10 AM in the morning if it’s his one day off. Despite having an early bird’s job, Schneep is not a morning person. Another reason why Schneep is dependent on coffee.

UNLESS it is an emergency, no one but Schneep is allowed in his office. As there are so many things to keep track of, and so many papers that could easily be misplaced, it is best not to touch, or even go inside the office, lest you want to throw the doctor off his game or have the doctor throw you off a cliff.

Despite these four unspoken yet very specific rules, Marvin and Jackie have learned one more this past month: despite the doctor’s arrogant, haughty, snappy, disgusting, even FERAL demeanour, he truly is a good person.

It just took a new ego to show them that.

March 30th, 2017. Schneep’s mail has been unceremoniously thrown onto the dining room table. Schneep’s hands, long and graceful, slide through the envelopes and fliers, organizing them into piles, from taxes and business inquiries to subscriptions and sales.

Jackie lazily eats his cereal, watching Schneep sort through the mail like a madman. Geez, just how popular is this guy?! It’s almost as wild as Jack’s mail. At least there’s more interesting stuff for Jack... drawings, letters of encouragement and thanks, even the rare crocheted or sculpted gift.

Schneep freezes when he comes across a particular letter, one with a cutesy pin cupcake logo. His eyes grow solemn as he picks it up and shakily opens it. Jackie cocks his head.

“Something wrong, doctor?” he asks lightly.

Schneep looks up. “Hm? Oh!” He sighs. “It’s from a baking class Sophia and I used to take together. Lisette had insisted I learn how to cook as well, so it wouldn’t always be her making the meals, and she figured it would be good bonding for me and Sophia. Soph loved those classes. We’d learn all sorts of fascinating recipes and bring the results home. They were fun, and very sweet.”

Jackie nods seriously. He knows he should leave it there, but something’s confusing him. “It’s been quite a few months since you stopped going. Why are they sending you stuff now?”

Schneep unfolds the letter. As he reads it, his eyes widen and a smile begins curling at his lips.

Somehow, that only makes more questions. “What…?”

“It’s not the company themself, it’s Chase! He was a friend from the classes! I haven’t spoken to him in forever! He’s such a lovely person, it’d be nice to see him again!” Schneep grabs his phone and hastily types in the number at the bottom of the letter. He squeals and runs off, like a teenager who just got a text from their crush.

The letter lies on the table, open for all to read. Jackie knows better than to pry into other people’s lives, but this letter is wide open, and it’s not like Schneep needs to know, so the superhero leans over and reads.

Hey Henrik,

This is probably weird to get, but I lost your phone number and I don’t know what your address is, so I asked the dudes at the baking class if I could send a letter to you via their services.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I thought I’d better check in and see how you’re doing, see how bachelor life is treating you. Stacy and the kids miss seeing you as well. I wanna talk to you again.

My cell is #1273-545-8903.

Hope to see you soon!

Chase Brody

Chase Brody. That sounds like an American to Jackie’s ears. He does seem like a good person, if Schneep’s reaction wasn’t enough. He must have been a friend for Schneep when the doctor went through his divorce.

The name itself sounds familiar, like a local celebrity or something. Jackie makes a mental note to look it up later. He leans back and finishes his cereal just as Schneep comes back, holding his phone out. Marvin finally emerges, his green hair resembling a rat’s nest, and no mask. Jackie takes pride in the fact that Marvin now feels comfortable enough to show his face in front of Schneep and Jackie.

“Well, change of plans, I won’t be able to come home in time for dinner with you guys,” Schneep announces. Jackie nods.

“Wait what? Why?” Marvin slurs, slumping down at the dining room table.

“I’m going to see Chase after my shift today. We agreed to meet in the park,” Schneep explains curtly, and leaves.

“Did I miss something?” Marvin asks, turning to Jackie. Jackie nods down to the letter. Marvin leans over to read, only for the letter to be snatched up by the doctor.

“Who said you could go through my stuff?!” Schneep snapped. He stormed off, letter clutched firmly in his hand. Marvin sneers at Jackie, who only shrugs and winks. The magician rolls his eyes, but he understands. A shrug and a wink means I’ll tell you later.

Schneep throws on his brown coat and grabs his bag. “Have a nice day, boys. If I don’t see you later tonight, sweet dreams and I’ll see you in the morning.” He flies out, coat flapping behind him.

“He’s gotta show me how he rocks an overcoat so well. I’m jealous of the way he holds himself. So professional,” Marvin remarks. He quickly turns to Jackie. “Spill the tea.”

“Schneep’s meeting an old friend from a baking class he used to take with his daughter,” Jackie says. “His name is Chase Brody. The name sounds so familiar to me, and I don’t know why.”

“Look it up on your phone,” Marvin suggests. Jackie does just that.

Immediately, Wikipedia comes to the egos’ rescue. Chase Brody, (born April 11th, 1988) is an American-Irish Youtuber who is best known for his Youtube channel, Bro Average. As of February 2017, his channel has over 20 million views and over 10 million subscribers.

“Oh yeah, the trickshot vlogger!” Jackie says. “I like watching his stuff, he’s a funny dude.”

Marvin nods. “He must have kids as well. He wouldn’t be taking classes if he didn’t.”

Jackie scrolls down to Personal Life. “‘Chase is married to Stacy Matthews, and they have three children as of 2017, two biological twins, and one recently adopted daughter.’” The selfie provided shows a man with fair skin and bright blue eyes standing next to a red-headed lady doing a duckface.

“Hm. Sounds like he’s living the good life,” Marvin says. “A well-paid job, a nice family, a happy life.”

Boy, is he wrong.

At 5 PM exactly, Schneep sits at the bench by the great oak tree, waiting for Chase. He wraps his blue and navy scarf tighter around his neck as a cool breeze whisks by. Despite what the weather people promised, Athlone is nowhere near warm, despite it being spring. He examines the park-goers who walk by, picking up on every accident that could occur.

Parents swinging their child up and down: a broken arm, arms could pull out of their sockets, or the child could fall on their head and get a concussion. Or worse, permanent brain injuries.

Kids climbing trees: Another chance to fall and hit their tiny heads and sustain brain damage, if not that, broken limbs and splinters.

Teenagers skateboarding: more broken bones and limbs, but at least SOME are smart enough to put pads and helmets on. Others have no chance of recovering fully from brain damage or concussions should they fall on their heads-

“Henrik!” Henrik snaps to life and looks around. A man wearing a puffy black jacket, torn jeans and a snapback with a pink skull on it runs over to him. Schneep stands up.

“Chase Brody! Wie geht es dir mein freund?” Schneep cries out in delight, holding his arms out. Chase happily throws himself into them.

“I’m doing as well as I can, at least. It’s so good to see your face,” Chase sighs. He nuzzles Henrik’s hair, taking in the sanitizer and mint smell he’s gotten used to. “I’ve missed you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Schneep says. “Come, sit down next to me! Tell me how things have been. How are Stacy and your kids? Has Chloe adjusted to the new timezone yet?” Chloe is Chase’s recently adopted daughter from China. Schneep’s last visit with the Brody’s involved meeting her.

Chase’s smile fades and he sits down next to Schneep. “Um…”

Schneep’s stomach sinks. “That’s never good. What happened? Who died?!”

“Calm down, Henrik!” Chase exclaims. “No one died! Everyone’s fine. Chloe’s adjusted quite nicely.”

“Then why do you look so sad?!” Schneep cries.

Chase fidgets with his jacket zipper, mumbling incomprehensibly. Henrik leans closer. “Didn’t catch that.”

“StacyandIaregettingadivorce,” Chase whispers. Schneep’s stomach flips and sinks.

“What?”

“Stacy and I are getting divorced,” Chase repeats, louder now. “She said she still loves me, but not quite in a… romantic way, I guess. She wants us to just be friends.”

“Well, at least she still wants to be on friendly terms, I guess!” Schneep says. “Still, I can’t believe it… you two were such a sweet couple… so in love…”

“There’s another reason why she wants a divorce,” Chase admits. Schneep’s eyes turn wide as saucers.

“She’s seeing someone. An old friend from high school. I’ve seen her texts,” Chase says. He scrunches up the end of his shirt, nose wrinkling. Schneep hears him sniff.

“I don’t know how long it’s gone on… and I know she didn’t mean to… but still…” Chase finally looks up, eyes tearing. “How could she do that? I would have been okay with it! Maybe. I don’t know!” Chase buries his face in his hands.

Schneep pats Chase’s shoulder gently. He can’t believe Stacy cheated! She and Chase were such a romantic couple! They seemed so happy! Why would Stacy throw that all away for some whore? “What a bitch…”

Chase suddenly whacks Schneep’s hand off, eyes fierce. “Don’t call her that! It’s not like that! At least she still wants me in her life! She’s not like Lisette!” An awkward silence fills the air.

Chase gasps. “Henrik, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way-”

“Oh!” Schneep cries. “It’s fine! It’s no big deal!” Yeah, that was a low blow, but he would rather Chase doesn’t end up like him: cranky, alienating, friendless, alone. He needs a friend more than ever.

“No it’s not, I just sunk really low! You must be furious-”

“I’m not, I promise!” He’s not, surprisingly. Is this growth?! What the fuck?!

“I need to control myself better. I’m a grownup, for fuck’s sake, I should know better…” Chase moans, burrowing his head in his hands again.

“Chase!” Schneep exclaims. “You mustn’t beat yourself up like that! You’re one of my very best friends, which isn’t saying much because I don’t have any, but still! You have to be one of the nicest people I know! You’re anything but a dick!”

“I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better,” Chase mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m not, I swear !” Schneep says.

“I’m sorry, Henrik, I really am,” Chase says.

“I forgive you,” Schneep says, and means it. “I’m serious.”

“I should go,” Chase decides, standing. Schneep gets up as well.

“What? No! I’m not mad!” he protests.

“It’s my turn to pick the kids up,” Chase snaps. “I’ll see you around, Henrik. Sorry I can’t stay long.” He briskly runs off.

Schneeplestein yells and kicks the bench. “FUCK! FUCK! AAAHHH!!!”

Other park visitors turn in confusion, watching the strange man kick the bench and scream.

Schneep freezes when he notices everyone staring at him. He storms back to his car, slams the door shut and continues his screaming.

Once Schneep has finished “releasing his anger” (Jackie’s words, not his) he “reflects on the situation” (also Jackie’s words). What could he do to make Chase feel better?

He stays in the car for an hour, letting the world pass by as he thinks. By the time the sun has set, he has an idea.

Jackie and Marvin glare at each other from across the hall. Sirius the cat has hidden, choosing not to get involved. The little pegs in the cribbage board are neck-in-neck, both pegs exactly 4 steps away from the end hole. The egos stare at their cards.

“Four,” Jackie announces, putting the card down.

“Fourteen,” Marvin says.

The door flies open and Schneep rushes in, hair windswept and out of breath. “Where’s Jack?!” he demands.

“Out in his universe,” Jackie responds. “Fifteen for two!” He puts down an ace.

“Sixteen for two!” Marvin slams the ace down, looking triumphant. Jackie flips him off.

“When will he visit?!” Schneep questions.

“When he wishes,” Jackie responds. “Twenty-five!”

“How can I contact him?!”

“Why are you so interested?!” Marvin asks. “Thirty-one, bitch!” He flips Jackie off.

“I have a request for him!” Schneep responds curtly.

“What kind?” Jackie asks.

“It’s for a friend,” Schneep brushes him off, heading to his lab.

“Chase Brody?” Marvin guesses. Jackie kicks him.

Schneep turns around. “What did you say?”

Marvin gulps. “You left your letter on the table for me to read. I was fast enough to catch the gist before you snatched it up. So how is Chase Brody?”

Schneep growls softly and walks back to the table. Marvin sits up with his head held high, bracing himself for the punishment. No matter what Schneep does, slugging, kicking, ruining his hair, the magician can take it. He’s been through worse.

To Marvin and Jackie’s surprise, Schneep pulls up a chair and sits down. The doctor takes a deep breath. “Chase Brody is divorcing his wife. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Jackie and Marvin nod in understanding. “That’s sad to hear,” Jackie remarks, solemnly.

“But how’s talking to Jack going to help?” Marvin queries.

“I want him to make a video for Chase,” Schneep says. “If this so-called community exists, I want to see them show their love for Chase! It’s the least he deserves!”

Marvin and Jackie catch each other’s gaze. Schneep glares at Jackie expectantly.

“Well? You’ve lived with Jack the longest. How do you contact him?!” Schneep demands.

“I have his number in case of emergencies, but I’ve never had a reason to call him! I don’t even know if he’s available,” Jackie explains.

“He has to be. What else does a man who plays video games for a living do?!” Schneep snaps, incredulous. “It’s not like he has to be places or anything!” He looms over Jackie, a desperate, pleading look in his eyes. Jackie nearly topples out of his chair.

“I guess I could give it a shot,” the superhero mumbles.

Schneep squeals in delight and wraps his arms tightly around Jackie in what Jackie assumes to be a hug. The superhero pats the doctor’s arms, taken aback by his strength.

After a few sickeningly sweet seconds, Marvin pipes up, “Uh, doc? I think Jackie needs to be able to breathe in order to call Jack.”

Sheepishly, Schneeplestein lets Jackie go. The superhero gulps in big gasps of air, before grabbing his phone and dialing Jack’s number.

A day later, Jack McLoughlin sits at the egos’ dining room table, chomping away on mashed potatoes and a juicy steak.

“My goodness, you never told me what a good chef you were, Schneep!” he sighs in ecstasy.

Schneep bows his head, face glowing red. Jackie raises an eyebrow. Schneep almost NEVER blushes when given a compliment. It’s strange to see the doctor act so shy and humble around someone, especially Jack. It feels like only yesterday Schneep was bombarding Jack with questions about where he came from and how the alternate universe worked. Since that day, Jack has quickly risen to become one of Schneep’s favourite people on the planet. Not that Jackie is jealous or anything…

“Just a little recipe I learned for my wife…” Schneep mutters, playing with the end of his lab coat. Across the table, Marvin snickers lightly, watching the doctor fumble for words. Finally, some entertainment!

“So, what was the call for?” Jack asks. “Just wanted to say hi?” His expression darkens. “Is it Anti? What did he do?!”

“It’s not Anti. We haven’t heard from him for a while!” Jackie says. Jack sighs in relief.

“I mean, I know I made that video for PAX and all but I just wanted to make sure,” Jack says.

“You made an Anti video for PAX?!” Marvin cries. “Why?”

“Because the fans would enjoy it! Also because I was running out of ideas for what to do for an opening,” Jack admits. “It just seemed like the right amount of fun and originality without being too over the top!”

“When is Anti not over the top?” Jackie scoffs. That earns a laugh from the others.

“Actually, it’s Schneep who has a question for you,” Marvin says.

Jack turns to Schneeplestein. Schneep’s smile disappears. He looks around the table, watching everyone’s gaze. He grins nervously at Jack.

“Could I ask you in private? This stuff… it is… personal.”

“Sure. Let’s go,” Jack says, standing up. Schneep follows after him.

In the upstairs hallway, Schneep spills everything. He explains who Chase is, what’s going on in his life, and how he believes making Chase an ego could help his situation.

“Make another ego? Oh god, I’m having enough trouble managing you all right now,” Jack admits.

“All you have to do is make one video. The fans can do the rest,” Schneep presses.

“How?”

“By showing their love for Chase! He’s a funny and sweet guy! Your fans would love him!”

“How will the community’s love help a man struggling with a divorce?” Jack questions.

“Their love will lift his spirits and he will feel more confident and happy! You said you noticed a difference in us after the community made content of us! If that is really true, then I want to see them show their love for Chase. It’s the least he deserves!”

Jack is silent, contemplating the pros and cons. Finally, he sighs and says, “Can you show me what he usually does?”

Schneep types something into his phone. He logs onto Youtube and types a channel name into the search bar. Bro Average.

“Bro Average? Is that a parody of Dude Perfect?” Jack asks, chuckling.

“Well, it’s because there’s only one person performing every stunt, and because it’s less... professional than the other channel,” Schneep explains. “For example-”

The video shows Chase at a park, holding a Nerf gun and wearing a goofy grin. “Sup, guys! I’m Chase, and welcome to Bro Average!” He shoots a nerf dart off-screen, only for it to crash into something, invoking a cat screech. Chase pretends to be startled.

It flashes forward to Chase in a tree. “This one’s called, ‘Multitasking’!” He hangs off a branch while trying to knock over six cups stacked up on each other with darts. Jack can’t stop snickering at Chase’s antics, as he wobbles and threatens to lose his balance. Chase yelps and squeals, and a few times, swearing can be heard, though it’s censored by loud beeps. Finally, Chase hits his target, just as the branch snaps. Chase whoops with glee as he crashes onto the ground, the branch smacking into his head. His cameraman runs over to him, worried, but Chase is rolling on the ground in laughter as tears run down his face.

“He is not nearly as good as the professionals, but his humour and authenticness bring in the fans,” Schneep says, smiling.

“He sounds like a blast!” Jack takes the phone and begins to skim through Chase’s videos. “I bet I could make something work! I’ll borrow an office space, bring a couple friends and film a few shots! Can’t be that hard!”

“So you will do it?!” Schneep cries.

“Absolutely! Give me a couple days and it will be ready!”

Schneep cheers and engulfs Jack in a bear hug. Jack laughs and pats his friend’s back. It’s nice to see the doctor open up at last to his new roommates and creator, and so quickly, as well. Jack decides Schneep can be rewarded for his good nature by granting his wish and helping out a new friend.

A few weeks pass. Schneeplestein schedules more visits with Chase. The two fathers laugh and chat, learning more about each other and discussing whatever they please without the worry of kids hearing. Schneep feels his spirits lift whenever he sees Chase’s snapback and hears his cheerful voice.

In the night, a familiar sensation returns to the egos’ dreams. Sounds of a Nerf gun, kids laughing and on the rare occasion, a man crying fills the egos’ heads as they sleep. Schneep feels his heart break when he hears Chase’s cries. He hopes this video will help Chase. It has to.

April 11th, 2017. The egos are gathered around the dining room table, Jack’s Youtube account open on his laptop.

Jack idly sits at the centre, waiting for Schneep to arrive with Chase. Marvin and Jackie play another round of cribbage, and this time Jackie seems to be way ahead on the board, much to the magician’s dismay.

“I’m going to be skunked! I hate this game so fucking much!” Marvin gripes, as he receives two points for his math efforts.

Jackie snickers as he counts his cards. “This takes both luck and skill. You’re a fast learner, Marv. I’m sure you’ll pull through soon.”

“Not soon enough,” grumbles Marvin as Jackie moves his peg 16 points.

The door opens and Schneep walks in with Chase Brody right behind him. Compared to the laughing man with the warm aura in Google Images, this Chase looks cold and kind of grumpy.

“Chase, this is Jack McLoughlin, our ‘creator’ and a wonderful man,” Schneep introduces. Jack awkwardly holds his hand out for a shake. Even though he’s seen versions of himself several times this past year, it’s still rather unnerving to be given death stares by himself but with yellow hair, snapback and a fair share of freckles.

“Jack, this is Chase Brody, your newest ego and the face of Bro Average!” Schneep continues. Chase raises an eyebrow.

“Ego? Like alter ego?” Chase turns to the others, and realizes that they share the same hair and face. “Oh... my... dog. Am I a fictional character?! Is this a character intervention with the narrator?! Whatever happened, I promise, I didn’t do it! Sally encouraged me to eat the worm!” Chase kneels before Jack, cowering and whimpering.

Jack chuckles nervously. “Relax, Chase! Technically, you are a fictional character-” Chase shrieks in alarm.

“But only in another universe. You’re very much a real person in this one,” Schneep concludes, helping Chase up by the arm. Chase shakes the doctor off and Schneep tries his best to hide his hurt.

“To put it simply, some of the videos on my channel don’t exist in this universe. This is because they’re about you… egos,” Jack recites. “You’re the most recent ego, however, your video and beginnings are a bit different because I already had some course material to go off of.”

Jack clicks play on the video. Chase sits down and gasps as Jack-as-Chase flies around the office, performing trickshots and screaming like a toddler who drank too much apple juice. Is… is this him?! The accuracy! Holy shit! They even got his bloopers right! Creepy!!! Is he being stalked?!

Schneep watches from afar, fidgeting with his lab coat. Chase hasn’t moved once since the video started. He doesn’t look angry… but at the same time, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his Power Hour. Truth be told, it’s not like the Doctor particularly likes his Power Hour either. Jack didn’t have to go and mention his cheating wife… or the fact that Peter did die at one point… Nonetheless, Chase is just sitting there, with wide eyes.

Jack, on the other hand, is already regretting what he did. Perhaps he emphasized too much on the “Not-As-Professional-Or-Successful” part. Maybe he made Chase too goofy or not as three-dimensional as he could have. The Youtuber catches a glimpse of the screen. Oh no. It’s the part with-

“Stacy, please, I know, I’m trying to get all the shots, look, just please don’t take the kids!” Jack-as-Chase pleads. Schneep and Jack-in-the-flesh turn white as a ghost. Chase frowns.

“This one’s called, ‘I’m Staying At My Sister’s This Weekend’!” Jack-as-Chase announces. It flashes back to him on the phone. “Well, I don’t care what your sister says! Just please! At least let me see them on the weekend still!”

Jack scratched his neck nervously and teethed on his knuckles, face beet red. Chase looks horrified. Schneep looks just as worried. Marvin and Jackie awkwardly stand up to leave.

Chase pauses the video just as Jack-as-Chase sobs. He takes a deep breath and turns to face his “creator”. “So… are you the reason my wife and I are getting a divorce?”

Jack gapes, taken aback by Chase’s accusation. He doesn’t want to throw Schneep under the bus, but at the same time, Chase wasn’t exactly “created” like the others-

“Not exactly!” Schneep interferes. “It… it was my idea. I thought if I got Jack to make a tribute video in honour of you, it would help you!”

“Help me?!” Chase laughs, a harsh and cold sound compared to his whoops and chuckles in his videos. “How?! By running my wife’s name through the dirt?!” Jack flinches.

“Fair enough,” Schneep says with a groan. “I should have been more specific when I said divorce and kids.”

“You told-?!”

“I thought if you knew you had a big name on your side you’d feel better! It was supposed to be a little treat!” Schneep counters.

“Oh, what am I, a little pity party to you?” Chase snaps. “My divorce was private information, Schneep. Why else did you think I wanted to talk to you alone?! Now the whole world knows and Stacy’s going to be treated horribly because of you shits-”

“Not the whole world!” Schneep exclaims. “Just… all… of Jack’s world.”

“Shut up,” Chase hisses. “I don’t care that there’s more than one universe. So be it. What I care about is the fact that you betrayed my trust and now people are going to treat Stacy like she was a freaking bitch. This may come as a surprise to both you and Jack, but not all women are cheating whores like Lisette, asshole!”

SMACK. Chase cries out. The egos and Jack huddle together. Schneep’s breathing slows as he registers the sting in his hand and Chase rubbing his red cheek.

Schneep takes a deep breath, and in chilling, low, icy words, he snarls, “Don’t ever say her name again.”

Chase recovers from the slap and storms over to the door. “Whatever. You know what?! Stay away from me and whatever’s left of my family. I don’t care if I’m a part of your ‘creator’s’ story or whatever, I JUST WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.” Chase grabs his coat and slams the door shut with a loud BANG. Schneep remains at the dining room, breathing unsteadily, vision somewhat blurry.

“Doctor? Are you alright?” Jackie whispers, reaching a hand out.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Schneep runs upstairs to his room and slams the door. Muffled sobs soon echo down the hallway.

Jack’s heart breaks in two. He really thought this video was a good idea. Somehow, all it brought was pain. He sighs defeatedly and slumps down at the table. Marvin closes the laptop.

“Shit… that was awful…”

“And it was supposed to be Chase’s birthday present!” Jack moans. “Ahhhhh, I feel like an asshole… I shouldn’t have been so mean…”

“It’s not your fault…” Jackie soothes. “You made an assumption and played it with satire. Schneep shares some of the blame as well. He should have kept that part quiet.”

“And I should have kept that out of the video…” Jack sighs. “Now Chase feels even worse about the divorce and he wants nothing to do with us…”

Jackie and Marvin sit down beside Jack and rub his back. Jack sighs again and rests his head on the table.

Upstairs, Schneep screams into his pillow, tears finally flowing. He hates himself and Chase and everything that’s happened. That’s what he gets for helping a friend. Ungrateful bastard-

No. Schneep should have known better! That was private information, he had no right poking his nose in and telling everyone. Well, it was just one person, but still! Now Chase never wants to speak to him again and he’s lost the only friend he’s had in a while and everything sucks and he just wants to curl up and die. Schneep pulls his hair and screams again. He can’t sleep, but at the same time, he can’t do anything else. So he remains in bed, crying and thinking. Eventually, long into the night, he falls asleep, cheeks wet and eyes sore.

Schneep wakes up feeling like absolute shit. His cheeks are somewhat sticky and damp. He must have been crying in his sleep. His stomach feels awful. But it’s a work day, so he gets out of bed.

Schneep stumbles into his ensuite bathroom and splashes cold water on his face. He shudders when he sees his reflection. Grey skin, messy hair, red eyes. He doesn’t smell so good either. Sighing sadly, Schneep throws off his clothes and turns on the shower faucet.

When he hops out of the shower, he puts on his scrubs and grabs his spare labcoat. He trudges downstairs, where Marvin is waiting with fluffy chocolate-chip pancakes on the table.

“Morning, doc,” Marvin greets cheerfully. His smile fades when he sees Schneep’s ashen face. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” Schneep replies hoarsely.

“I made you some coffee,” Marvin continues. “I know you like it.”

Schneep grunts softly and pours himself a large cup. As he drinks he heads to the hook of keys by the front door, only to find-

“Where are my keys?” Schneep asks, staring at the space where his car keys used to hang.

“I saw Sirius knock them off earlier,” Marvin replies, flipping through the nearest magazine. “I tried to catch her, but she’s so fast.”

“Where is she right now?” Schneep inquires, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Beats me. I can’t control her,” Marvin says calmly.

Schneep growls and pounds on the table. Marvin jumps slightly, but quickly recovers and goes back to his reading.

“This isn’t funny, Marvin. I need to get to work!” Schneep snaps. “I’m already falling behind schedule.”

Marvin snorts, looking up from the magazine. “You think you’re fit to go to work? Your face is bright pink, you’ve got large shadows under your eyes and I heard you crying for who knows how many hours last night.”

“I have allergies! They were just acting up!” Schneep snaps.

“Oh, really? Allergies? That’s rich coming from the man who claims to have ‘the strongest immune system in the world’!” Marvin scoffs.

“Even the strongest immune systems have off days, okay?!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Henrik, are you even hearing yourself?!”

Schneep fights back more tears. “Marvin, please, tell me where the keys are! I can’t be late for work!”

“And you won’t be! I called the hospital and asked them to give you a day off!” Marvin says.

Schneep almost drops his mug. “You… you did what?!”

“I told them it was a family emergency,” Marvin admits. “And that we didn’t know how long it would be. They understood, told me to tell you to take as many days off as you need.”

“Which is none,” Schneep scowls. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am!”

“Henrik, you said you didn’t want Chase to go through his divorce alone and friendless, like you. You’re going through a tough time right now. The last thing you need is to be alone.”

Schneep gapes at the magician, tears threatening to fall. Marvin stares back, heart thumping loudly. He prays he didn’t say the wrong thing. He hopes this works.

Maybe it’s because he didn't get enough sleep, or maybe it’s because he’s never had anyone be so concerned for his well-being that they screwed up his schedule, but Henrik finally lets his anguish go, and collapses, bawling like a little baby. Marvin gets down from his seat and wraps his arms around the doctor, soothing him and singing softly.

Jackie finally emerges from the bathroom, and joins the cuddle pile in the kitchen. As Henrik finally slumps completely into Marvin’s arms, he and the superhero high-five and move the sleeping doctor into the living room for a day of Netflix and cuddles.

Five days pass. Henrik sits at his desk, tapping his pen. In front of him is the start of a letter, with only the words “Dear Chase,” written on it. He needs to apologize to Chase, but just doing it by text seems insensitive. So written letter it is! Now… where to start…

Dear Chase,

I’m sorry. What I did was wrong and there’s no way to excuse my behaviour. I really believed I was doing the right thing by telling Jack, but I should have known better than to air dirty laundry.

The doctor shakes his head and crumples up the page. He can do better than that. Now to start over-

His phone begins playing the familiar sound of a monitor beeping. He really needs to change his ringtone. It’s too painful to hear after all the dead patients that came with it.

Henrik freezes when he notices the name. Chase. Why is he calling? Heart thumping and hands shaking, Henrik picks up the phone.

“Hello? Chase?”

“H-hi, d-doc…” Chase answers in a raspy whisper. The sound of sniffling is not lost on Henrik.

“Chase? Are you okay?”

“Not really…” Another sniffle. “But I will be… soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry for all the shit I said… It was wrong of me to bring up your own divorce… I-I shouldn’t have been so harsh…”

“No, Chase, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought up your divorce in the first place! I thought I was doing good by telling Jack, but he clearly misinterpreted it. I shouldn’t have mentioned it…”

“It’s alright… you were just trying to make me feel bet-better… I just overreacted… I overreact to eve-everything… I’m such a bay-baby.” Chase sounds like he’s holding back tears.

“No you’re not. You had every right to be mad… I’m sorry for slapping you. How’s your cheek?”

Schneep hears Chase chuckle softly. “It’s fine… It doesn’t hurt as much as other injuries…” The laugh turns into a sob.

“Other injuries?! What do you mean?!” Henrik demands. “Chase, you’re worrying me!”

“I’m sorry… I can’t seem to do anything right… All I do is upset people…” Chase is outright crying now.

“Chase, please tell me where you are,” Henrik pleads, getting up. “I need to make sure you’re okay!”

“No… I don’t think you’ll want to see this…” Chase mumbles. He takes a deep but shuddery breath. “I have to go. Goodbye, Henrik.”

“Chase?! CHASE?!” Henrik screams. The phone line goes dead. Henrik yelps and quickly rushes into his contacts. He finds Stacy’s name and calls her.

She answers on the first ring. “Henrik? It’s been so long! How are you?”

“Where is Chase right now?”

“What?”

“Where is he living?”

“What’s going on? What did he say to you? Is he okay?”

“Call 999. I don’t believe so.”

Henrik hangs up and dashes out of his office, up the stairs and to the front door, where he grabs his keys and coat. Marvin and Jackie sit at the kitchen island, both on their phones.

“Henrik? What’s going on?”

“I have to go to the hospital. I’ll be back,” Henrik answers curtly. He throws on his coat and leaves.

Henrik runs into the hospital and quickly signs himself in. A nurse comes by and squeaks in surprise when she sees him.

“Dr. Schneeplestein? What are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?”

“Time is broken, Cass,” Dr. Schneeplestein replies. He dashes off to the emergency room. Cass quickens her pace, trying her best to catch up to him.

“Have there been any emergencies yet?” Schneep demands.

“I think an ambulance is arriving soon-” Cass begins.

“Who’s the patient?” Schneep asks.

“A man attempted suicide-” Cass starts.

“I’ll treat him,” Schneep announces.

The doors open and medics rush in, driving a man on a gurney. Schneep pales when he sees red. The good doctor swallows his fear and tears. Now is not the time to be a baby. He’s not called the good doctor for nothing. Time to save Chase’s life.

Hours later, five nurses come in to find Dr. Schneeplestein exhaustedly sobbing against the wall, shoulders convulsing as he cries into his hands. On the gurney lies a man with yellow hair poking out of a large bandage wrapped around his head. The monitor beeps rhythmically, and the man’s chest rises and falls slowly. So why is the doctor crying?

Three nurses wheel Chase out while the other two bend down next to Schneep. One nurse, Kate, tentatively places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps in shock.

“Schneeplestein? Are you alright?” Kate asks.

Schneep smiles shakily. “He’ll live…” He shivers and whimpers. “Oh god… so much could have happened… So much could have gone wrong… I thought I lost him a few times...” the doctor breaks off with another sob.

“Why don’t you head home? Today is your day off,” Kate suggests.

“In a little while… I need to speak to the patient first…” Schneep replies in a raspy voice. Kate nods. She and the other nurse, Matt, help the doctor up. His legs wobble and almost give out. Schneep takes a deep breath and slowly makes his way out of the operating room and into his office.

An hour later, Henrik reappears, wearing his comfy labcoat and drinking some tea, a rarity considering how much the doctor prefers coffee. But he needs to relax, and so Matt whipped up a nice cup of tea.

Henrik pulls up a chair and sets his cup down. He looks down at the sleeping man, face as white as the bandage wrapped around his head. Chase has never looked more fragile and vulnerable. His cheeks are sunken and there are large bags under his eyes.

Henrik rubs his face. Truthfully, he’s just as tired. He looks up at the clock. 1:11 am. God, he was in the operating room for quite a while. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be as stressed as he was today. He leans back and closes his eyes. Maybe he can get a quick nap before-

“Dr. Schneeplestein?” He opens his eyes and looks up. His stomach flips when he notices a woman with red hair that falls in waves down her shoulders. Her soft brown eyes are full of compassion and worry. Stacy Brody. Or Stacy Matthews, to be more precise.

“Stacy…” Henrik mumbles. “What… I mean, I’m sorry. I understand this must be a lot for you.”

“I can’t believe it… I mean, I knew about his depression, I just didn’t think it would get this bad,” Stacy says, voice soft and sad.

Henrik nods. “Yes. One can’t help but wonder what the breaking point was.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Stacy whispers hoarsely, staring down at her ex-husband’s skinny frame. “I did cheat on him. I told him I wanted a divorce after he found out… I wonder what would have happened if I told him straight up about Delilah… I wonder how he would have reacted…”

Henrik is speechless. He can’t really say it isn’t her fault, but at the same time, it wasn’t as if she could straight up tell him. There really was no way of telling how he would have reacted. Henrik groans and rubs his eyes again. He can’t think straight.

His mind flickers back to the video, and his stomach sinks. Did that video… influence his decision? Should he tell her about it? Would she be mad? He takes a deep breath.

“I mentioned your divorce to another friend,” he finally says. “Said friend made a video that I think mocked Chase more than flattered him. I thought it would help… but it didn’t. Only made him even more upset.”

“A video? Was this the video that ‘Jack’ made?” Stacy asks. Henrik opens his eyes, horrified. How long has she known?! Oh god, she must despise him! Henrik whirls around to face her, face riddled with guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d take it in that direction- It was a shitty idea, I was so invasive and it was absolutely despicable of me and-”

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay! It was an honest mistake!” Stacy responds calmly. “Chase told me about it. He felt awful and he was so pissed with you guys. I will admit I was a bit peeved at first, but Chase said he yelled at you and broke off his friendship with you, so I figured it was punishment enough.”

“He also brought up my wife,” Henrik says. “So I punched him.”

Stacy nods. “Ah, that’s where the bruise came from.”

Henrik cringes. Damn, did he actually hit Chase that hard? He really is a dick. He sighs and stands up. “You are more than welcome to punch me. I deserve it. I never should have brought up the divorce. It was hateful of me, really.”

Stacy shakes her head. “Oh no, I couldn’t! You saved Chase from the brink of death. It’d be so insensitive of me!”

“I insist.” Henrik holds his head up. Stacy reluctantly stands up, and raises an open palm.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaks.

“It’s fine, I can handle it,” Henrik says.

Stacy takes a deep breath… and punches him. Henrik falls back into the chair from the force. Stacy cringes.

“You… have a very strong punch,” Henrik remarks, holding his throbbing cheek. He holds a finger up when he sees her mouth move. “Don’t apologize. You were right to do so.”

“I took karate as a kid,” Stacy boasts. “I won a black belt at age five.”

“Good for you! To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as hard as my wife’s,” Henrik admits.

“Well, at least I got my ‘revenge’- wait, what?!” Stacy does a double take. “Lisette used to punch you?!”

“She only did it once,” Henrik quickly adds. “After I called her a whore.”

“Oh. That explains a lot,” Stacy deadpans.

“I deserved that as well,” Henrik says. “I just wish she hadn’t moved so far away… I wonder how the girls are doing...”

“Have your children contacted you?” Stacy lightly presses.

“I’ve tried to contact them,” Henrik says. “I don’t think Lisette lets them write or call me.”

“Then Lisette really is an ass,” Stacy explodes. “What if they do want to talk to you? She can’t hide them from you just because she doesn’t like you.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop her. I keep my phone nearby in case Sophia calls when her mother isn’t around.” Henrik pats his pocket. “Or maybe Rick will let her. He’s quite nice and he’s good with kids, which is why I was quite surprised when he turned out to be-”

“A homewrecker?” Stacy suggests. Henrik glares at her, scandalized, but she can tell he’s trying to suppress a smile.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, snickering.

“I was gonna say an ass, but that’s better,” he says. Stacy bursts out laughing, but it quickly fades when she notices Chase. She clears her throat.

“I’m going to take the kids away for a while,” she reveals. “At least until he’s emotionally stable to look after the kids.”

“You know Chase would never let his depression get in the way of being a good father,” Henrik protests.

“I know. I just feel he needs a break from it all,” Stacy says. “Mostly family life, me and Delilah in particular. Maybe she and I could go to my cottage in Scotland. We can stay there until he feels ready to share custody once more. He can’t be alone, though. We know what will happen if he does. He can’t go back home either. We still need to wash out the blood and dispose of any guns he might have. Of course I mean the real guns, but he might not want his Nerf toys either. He needs to be with someone , and that can’t be me. I just don’t know anyone he could stay with who lives in Athlone. We only just moved here.”

Henrik lights up. Holy shit. It’s like destiny! This is the perfect opportunity! “He can move in with us. He’s already an ego. He’d love it there. Sure it’s a bit chaotic, but I think he’d love it!”

Stacy raises an eyebrow. “What sort of chaotic?” she questions.

“The local superhero likes to crash there, we have a magician who INSISTS on using us for test subjects for his latest tricks, and me, the ‘feral doctor’,” Henrik lists off. “Come to think of it, I’m actually the voice of reason.”

Stacy tries her best to hide a shudder. “I feel a little worried about his safety. And no offense, but it’s a bit concerning that you’re the voice of reason in that house.”

Henrik scoffs in mock insult and shoves her gently. “Oh screw you! To be honest, Jackie is actually the smart one. I’m the one who pays the taxes and keeps a roof over their head. They’re the ones who overstayed their visit.”

Stacy rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. She looks more relaxed than when she walked in. She stands up.

“I think it’s time I left. Good luck, Chase. I wish you all the best with your recovery.” Stacy leans over and gently kisses Chase’s cheek before turning to Henrik and holding her hand out. Henrik returns it and gives it a small squeeze, only to be pulled in for a hug. He gasps in surprise.

“Thank you Henrik,” she whispers. Henrik nods and returns the hug, holding her tightly until she signals to let go. Stacy picks up her bag and leaves.

Henrik sits back down and takes out his cellphone to call the egos. Jackie picks up after the first ring.

“Henrik? Are you okay?”

“I want you to clean the house and make some hot chocolate. We’ve got a new roommate coming to stay with us!” Henrik announces.

“Is it Chase? Is that who we’re taking in?” Jackie asks.

“Yes. I want everything to be perfect, so go! Get cleaning!” the doctor commands.

“Need us to pick you up?” Marvin suggests.

“I can drive just fine! See you soon!” Henrik hangs up just as Chase begins to stir. The doctor watches him apprehensively. He hasn’t seen Chase since the argument. How will he react?

Chase groggily opens his eyes. He can see a bright light shining down on him and closes his eyes. “Where… where am I?”

He slowly attempts to sit up. A soft pair of hands gently help him sit up and rub his back.

Chase blinks, trying to clear his vision. The blurry blue shape slowly comes into view… Henrik! The good doctor sits beside him with an anxious expression on his face.

Chase wracks his memory to try to remember what had happened. He can feel a heavy fabric wrapped around his head. He lifts a hand to better investigate… oh.

Henrik’s heart breaks when he sees Chase drop his hand, expression forlorn. Here we go, he thinks.

“Chase?” Chase looks up. “Before you say anything, know that you have every right to be mad at me and Jack. What we did was despicable and absolutely awful. You don’t have to forgive us, and I completely understand if you never do. But you can’t be alone right now. You’re going through a really tough time, and the last thing you need to be is alone. I don’t know if you’ll accept it, but we have an extra room at home that would be a perfect spot for you to stay while you recover. I know you might not want to talk to me, but Jackie and Marvin are living with me, and they will ensure your time there will be as comfortable as possible. It’s fine if you don’t want to go, but just know that we will always be there when you need a place to stay.”

Chase is silent, simply gazing at Henrik with unshed tears. Finally, he throws his arms around Henrik’s neck. Henrik startles, but returns the hug.

“Is that a yes?” Henrik mumbles. Chase nods. Henrik sighs in relief and squeezes Chase tighter. Now all he has to do is hope Jackie and Marvin have the house ready by the time he returns.

Henrik parks the car in the driveway and turns to Chase. The vlogger fidgets with his t-shirt. Henrik puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Just warning you now, while Jackie and Marvin have good hearts and intentions, they can be little shits and there’s a good chance the house will still be a mess when we get back in. Good luck.”

Chase whimpers in fear. Henrik nods solemnly. “My thoughts exactly.”

The fathers unload the car and walk up to the front steps. Henrik takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“FIFTEEN FUCKING POINTS! I WIN AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” Jackie screeches. Marvin roars in anger and tosses a pillow at Jackie, who backhands it. The pillow soars across the house and slams into Henrik, who grunts in alarm and falls backward. Chase shrieks in alarm, gaping at his fallen friend.

Marvin and Jackie turn around, bright blue eyes glaring into Chase. Marvin’s eye twitches sporadically and Jackie smiles like a madman. Chase nervously waves. Marvin clears his throat and forces a sleep-deprived smile.

“Howdy, Chase!”

#attempted suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #blood mention tw #extreme distress tw #apparently i can write #jacksepticeye #dr. schneeplestein #chase brody #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #writersofjack #writers of jack

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gb-fics · 4 years ago

Text

The Sexual Implication of Beds

Fanfiction:

Golden Bomber

Note: This fic is Jun-centric, since it’s his birthday today! <3 I actually wanted to write something in relation to the song Abare Kyoku, since Jun is such a fanboy and a few lines are referring to the lyrics indeed. However, since I couldn’t think of a way to include headbanging, etc. into a fic, I looked for another fan habit I could give Jun and ... yeah, here we are XD The story is slight self-parody for my usual kirikyan fanfiction :D

„I’ll get some snacks!“, Yutaka shouted as soon as the car pulled to an halt.

Jun got out on his side of the backseat. He stretched his arms, trying to relax after the long ride. Neither of them was a morning person and they had left Tokyo well past noon. By now, it wasn’t quite dark yet, but twilight had already set in. The streetlights across the parking lot were illuminating their surroundings.

They would arrive at the hotel shortly, but luckily Shou had insisted on a toilet break and Yutaka had whined about his low blood pressure and needing something to eat urgently. Of course, they had stopped only an hour ago for an early dinner, but that certainly didn’t inflict Yutaka’s appetite.

Jun was relieved about the last stop. When he had called the hotel from the restaurant, no one had picked up. The change would come at a short notice now, but at least there was still hope it would be possible to alter their reservation.

“I’m going to look for the toilets”, Shou announced. Yutaka had already dashed across the parking lot and vanished inside the nearest store.

“I’ll check out the store”, Kenji said and looked over at Jun, who shook his head.

“I just want to catch some fresh air”, he lied. It was too warm to spend time outside actually, but he needed an excuse to be left alone. He thought of the air conditioning inside the store and almost grew weak. Although the sun was nearly gone, the air still felt stifling. But he couldn’t give in, even if the chances he’d get through to the hotel this time were low. It was his duty to try. Someone had to. And no one was in a better position than him.

Kenji shrugged and Jun looked after him and Shou taking off, before he got out his phone.

The thing was, that Jun was Kiryuuin Shou’s biggest fan.

He had been from the very first moment he had seen him on stage. He was funny and charismatic and creative and talented and he deserved the world. Jun knew that his admiration seemed more appropriate for a fanboy than for a bandmate. But he didn’t really work with Shou on the music or even the stage programs. Just like the fans, he got confronted with the finished product. And the product always made him marvel at Shou’s wit and genius. Jun wasn’t ashamed to refer to himself as a fanboy, even if he tried to limit his outbursts in Shou’s presence, not to make his bandleader uncomfortable. But as his fanboy, Jun wanted nothing but to see Shou happy. He would do anything to provide him with the happiness he deserved.

Unfortunately, Shou seemed blind to what would make him happy. After all those years, he was still oblivious. But Jun knew. He knew better than Shou what Shou needed and he would make sure he got it in the end.

Jun would make sure, that Kiryuuin Shou noticed his love for Kyan Yutaka, and if it was the last thing he did.

Funnily enough, Yutaka didn’t seem to have noticed, either, that his perfect partner was right in front of him. They treated each other like friends. They were oblivious to the amazing couple they could be.

But even if Shou and Yutaka couldn’t see it yet, Jun had noticed. He had noticed all the small touches, the affectionate gestures, the looks they exchanged. They were meant to be. Jun lived of those little moments, their playful fights, the screenshots the fans posted. They made him trust in the fact that love was real.

He dialled the number of the hotel they were supposed to stay at before the shooting tomorrow.

From Tokyo it was quite a long trip and Kenji had driven all the way so far. Jun had tried to secure the passenger seat for himself - to enable Shou and Yutaka to spend more time together on the backseat, where it was a little more private and their hands could brush against each other accidently, or where on of them could watch the other in secret, while he dozed off. Unfortunately, Shou had won the game of rock, paper, scissor, though, and it was Jun, who had ended up on the backseat with Yutaka. He had been sulking for the entire ride.

Jun pressed the phone to his ear. The screen had heat up and felt uncomfortably warm against his cheek. His shirt was sticking to his back with sweat, too.

It took a while for someone to pick up, but finally the voice of a woman greeted him.

“Hello?”, she asked.

Jun cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. He looked around the parking lot to make sure no one was in earshot. It wasn’t the first time he pulled tricks like this, but he always felt like a criminal. Shou would get mad, if he knew.

“Hello, I’m from Golden Bomber”, he said. “The band that will stay at your hotel tonight. Our staff booked two rooms for us.”

He waited a moment for the woman to check their reservation on her computer.

“Is there a problem with the booking? Would you like to cancel?”, she asked.

“No, no.” Jun spoke hastily now, worried the others might come back, before he had made all the necessary arrangements. “I was just wondering, if we could arrange a change of rooms?”

“I need your booking code for that”, the woman said apologetic. “To confirm your authorization.”

“Sure”, Jun mumbled and quoted the booking code from memory. He had read the confirmation mail their staff had forwarded to them over and over again, until he knew it by heart.

“Great”, the woman announced. “You have booked two rooms with twin beds. Would you like separate rooms? I need to check our capacities for that.”

“No.” Jun cleared his throat again. “You see, this is a little embarrassing. But I would like to change one of the rooms to a regular double bed.”

“That is no problem”, the woman said, still friendly and very professional.

“And, uhm, if I could ask you to be, you know, a little private about it?”, Jun asked. “Me and my bandmate are, you see, kind of an item. But our colleagues don’t know about it. So, it would be good, if it looked like a booking mistake. Like, oops, we only have one twin bed room left. Two of you will have to share a bed. No single rooms available. Would that be possible?”

Although the woman could not see him, Jun felt himself blushing. He felt embarrassed at the thought she might assume he was in a secret relationship with one of the other guys. To Jun, that thought was ridiculous and absurd of course. But she might buy into it. He had figured he’d have to tell this little lie, though, for the greater cause. Shou and Yutaka would thank him later, in a few years, during their anniversary celebration.

“That is no problem at all”, the woman confirmed. “We are here to be of service.”

“Thank you”, Jun said. “We should arrive in about thirty minutes.”

“We are looking forward to your stay”, the woman said.

They exchanged their goodbyes and Jun hung up with a sigh of relief. He hadn’t actually expected it to work out this smoothly. But he had done it. He had done his part to make the world a slightly better place, in which Shou and Yutaka would love each other.

“You called the hotel”, a voice behind him announced.

Jun flinched hard, but relaxed immediately when he turned around and found Kenji standing behind him.

“You are scheming something again, aren’t you?”

Jun smiled slyly.

“I changed our reservation, so Shou and Yutaka will have to share a bed”, he declared proudly.

Kenji sighed and shook his head slightly. The heat didn’t really seem to bother him. While Jun felt awkward and sweaty, Kenji looked like he was modelling for a calendar shooting right now. Relaxed and handsome and in very good shape.

“They will be so mad, if they find out”, he said. “You should really just leave them alone. You can’t force something like that.”

Jun crossed the arms in front of his chest.

“I’m not forcing it”, he said. “I’m helping the natural course of things along.”

Kenji shook his head again.

“I don’t understand, why you want them to be together so badly. They obviously don’t care for each other romantically.”

Jun wiped his forehead absentmindedly. He considered running up to the shop as well to get himself something cold to drink. But then, Shou and Yutaka would probably be back shortly and he didn’t want to delay their trip.

“You don’t understand”, he claimed. He had always been very open with Kenji about his feelings for Shou and Yutaka. Kenji had never shared his enthusiasm, though. He did not seem to believe in their love as much as Jun did.

“They would make each other happy, if they just realized, what is right in front of them. Yutaka is actually very caring of Shou, Shou just doesn’t see it.”

Jun pulled on his shirt, hoping to prevent it from clinging to his chest even more. It was just too hot.

To his surprise, Kenji held out a full water bottle to him. It hadn’t been opened yet and the condensed water on the outside indicated that it had only just left the fridge. It would be cool and refreshing.

“Here”, Kenji said. “When you wanted to stay behind, I figured it was something stupid like that, and not that you didn’t want anything. I thought you’d like a cool drink, so I brought a bottle of water for you.”

Jun took the bottle gratefully and unscrewed the lid. That was typical of Kenji. He was very thoughtful. He also knew that Jun despised the sweet, artificial drinks, that Yutaka and Shou would have chosen.

Greedily Jun drank. The water was so cold, it hurt while he swallowed. He breathed out with relief.

“Thanks”, he announced and put the lid back onto the bottle. “Anyway, what Yutaka and Shou share is really special. Yutaka has always supported Shou, even if he thought some of his ideas were very stupid. To believe so fully in someone and wanting to see them happy even if you disagree – that’s love.”

“I disagree, but whatever you say”, Kenji said and smirked. He had a handsome smirk, too.

Jun turned the water bottle between his hands. His palms were wet from the condensation.

He wished Kenji would understand how much this meant to him.

“Ah, seems they are back”, Kenji observed and nodded across the parking lot.

Jun turned his head and felt something in his chest tightening. There they were, coming out of the grocery store together. After shopping together. Like a couple.

“Hey, Kenji”, Shou called out. “I can drive the last bit, if you are tired. It might be stressful to find the hotel and you drove for quite a while already. Unless you want to.”

“No, that would be great, I could need a break”, Kenji said and tossed the keys at Shou, who had gotten quite close by now.

Shou missed the keys and they hit the ground. He had to bent over and pick them up from the dirty pavement. He did so gingerly. It looked pretty awkward.

“Idiot”, Yutaka scolded him. He took a hearty bite out of an energy bar. The corner of his mouth was already smeared with chocolate. “How can anyone be that clumsy?”

“At least I can eat with dignity”, Shou replied and shot Yutaka a sour glance.

Jun thought their gentle bickering was adorable.

“Can I take the passenger seat now?”, Yutaka changed the topic.

Jun thought that would be a great idea. It would enable Yutaka to gaze at Shou longingly from the side, while Shou kept his eyes on the road, painfully aware of Yutaka’s presence right next to him. Oh, the longing, the pining.

“Actually”, Shou said. “I think Kenji should take the passenger seat. His legs are the longest. He always looks so cramped on the backseat. It can’t be comfortable.”

“According to that logic, you should have traded your seat with Jun earlier”, Yutaka muttered.

Shou shrugged and unlocked the car.

“I’m the leader of this band. The laws of logic don’t apply to me.”

Jun nudged Kenji in the side.

Kenji looked at him. Jun raised his eyebrows.

Kenji exhaled a little too soundly.

“Yutaka can have the passenger seat. I don’t care.”

Jun beamed at him, while he got in on the back himself. Kenji was reliable. Jun could always count on him.

Shou took a while to adjust the driver seat, so he was able to reach the gas pedal at all. Then he started the car, following the instructions of their navigation device.

Jun watched him for a moment. Shou always looked very focused while driving. Jun was surprised he had offered to take over at all. He didn’t mind driving as much as Jun did, but he wasn’t at ease as much as Kenji and Yutaka. He looked pretty, when he was concentrated, though. Jun hoped that Yutaka noticed.

He turned to look at Yutaka. He wasn’t looking at Shou, but out the window. Jun frowned.

He shot a quick glance over at Kenji, who had rested his head against the window and closed his eyes. His features looked very relaxed and even, when he was dozing off like that.

Jun turned his attention back onto Yutaka, staring at the back of his head as if he hoped to make him look over at Shou by sheer force of will.

It didn’t work. Yutaka kept gazing out the window. Jun felt highly frustrated with his bandmates. All three of them did not to understand how romance was supposed to work. At least the air conditioning was working in the car. Jun’s body started to cool down. He felt somewhat less gross and sweaty already.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, he almost dreaded getting out of the car because of the heat. After fixing his luggage from the trunk, Jun felt sweaty again. This wasn’t the season for travelling. It was the season for staying at home and hardly moving at all.

He dragged his suitcase into the lobby of the hotel. Shou and Yutaka only had backpacks with them, Kenji something that looked like a training bag. Only Jun had brought a suitcase and it was actually quite heavy. He regretted not packing more lightly.

Behind the reception desk a young woman with bangs greeted them. Jun wondered, if she was the one, he had talked to on the phone. He hoped she wouldn’t recognize him. Maybe he should have disguised his voice. The safest thing would be to stay quiet.

“Hello, nice to meet you.” As usual, it was Shou who took over the talking. “It’s Golden Bomber. We reserved two rooms for tonight.”

“Yes, of course.” The receptionist beamed at them. “Two twin bed rooms, is that correct?”

Jun’s throat started to feel uncomfortable dry. He licked his lips. Had his plan failed? Had the booking not been changed? Would Shou and Yutaka stay oblivious to their true love forever?

The woman turned to her computer.

“Oh, dear”, she said. She sounded genuinely sorry. Jun was quite sure now, that he recognized her voice from the phone. “I just see there has been a problem with your reservation. We only have one twin bed room left.”

Jun could not see Shou’s expression, since he was standing behind him. Yutaka groaned soundly, though. He still had chocolate sticking to his cheek.

“We can only offer you a regular double bed”, the receptionist continued. Jun had to give her credit for staying throughout professional. If it was up to him, he’d nominate her for the Oscars. “The price will stay the same of course.”

Shou turned around, looking at them questioningly.

“We could split up and look for another hotel. But I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble”, he observed.

“It’s not like we didn’t share beds before”, Jun said hastily.

He was aware that Kenji watched him from the side and was probably smirking.

“Well, I don’t care”, Yutaka said.

Jun took that as a good sign. Of course, he didn’t care. Secretly, he hoped to press his small, sexy body against Shou’s small, sexy body, embracing him, placing kisses all over …

“Okay, we’ll take it”, Shou said and turned back to the receptionist.

She handed him two key cards after he signed the papers.

“307 is the one with the twin beds. 306 the double bed one”, she explained sweetly. “Unfortunately, our elevator is out of service currently. You’ll have to take the stairs. We can get someone to carry your luggage, if you wish.”

Shou waved it off.

Jun thought he had been a little fast to decline the offer. After all, Shou only carried a backpack. It was Jun, who would have to drag a heavy suitcase to the third floor.

“Well, I’m sorry about the inconvenience, guys”, Shou said and held the card with the number 306 out to Kenji demonstratively.

Kenji hesitated and cast a quick glance over at Jun. Jun glared at him. Kenji did not take the card.

“Actually”, he said, obviously highly uncomfortable. Jun knew how much Kenji hated to pick an argument with about anyone. “I think you guys should share the bed. You are much smaller than me and Jun after all.”

Shou furrowed his brow.

“Also”, Jun chimed in. “Yutaka said he wouldn’t mind.”

“Sure, I don’t mind, loser”, Yutaka agreed. “Because I’m sleeping in a twin bed anyway. I don’t care how cramped up you and Kenji are sleeping.”

Jun stared at him wide-eyed. He couldn’t believe his plan would fail like that.

“But … but …”, he stammered. “It’s my birthday this month! Let me chose the room.”

“You wish”, Shou said. “Yutaka may be small, but he takes up the most space. So, we ought to get the twin beds.”

Jun turned to Kenji for help.

Kenji made a face, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It looked oddly cute. He moved like a child, who had gotten caught doing something forbidden. His body was much too tall for such a gesture.

“I think Jun is right”, he said hesitantly. “Doesn’t he deserve to chose his room this month?”

Shou exhaled gravely.

“Fine”, he agreed. “I can share the twin bed room with Jun then. You guys take the double bed.”

“Oi!”, Yutaka shouted. “Don’t make it sound like a sacrifice! If you want Jun to sleep in a twin bed so badly, you can share the bed with Kenji!”

“Rock, paper, scissor?”, Shou suggested.

Yutaka shrugged.

Jun started to panic. Splitting Shou and Yutaka up would be even worse than them not sharing the bed. He hadn’t considered this option at all.

“Fine!”, he shouted hysteric. “We’ll take the double bed. You guys share the twin bed room.”

He snatched the key with the number 306 from Shou’s hand and picked up his suitcase. It was really heavy, but the weight wouldn’t have been a huge problem for Jun. The problem was, that he was awkward and not very good at carrying unwieldy objects in general. He dragged the luggage up the first three steps, aware that he looked completely ridiculous and didn’t exactly manage to storm off impressively.

He was highly upset. Why did Shou and Yutaka struggle against their happiness like that?

“Hey, let me take that”, Kenji said gently and caught up to him, taking the suitcase out of Jun’s hand. He carried it up the stairs easily, his gym bag in the other hand. The weight didn’t seem to bother him at all.

Jun followed him up the stairs, listening closely if Shou and Yutaka were bickering behind them, but they stayed quiet.

On the third floor, they found their doors easily. Of course, they were right next to each other. Kenji dropped Jun’s suitcase, while he waited for him to unlock the door.

Jun waited a moment, until Shou had unlocked the door to the room next to them. Somehow, he was still hoping for a change of mind.

Shou opened the door, holding it open for Yutaka, who walked past him. Jun waited until the door had fallen shut behind them, before he turned back to their own lock.

“Did you see that?”, he asked Kenji excitedly. “Shou held the door open for Yutaka! Usually, they are not that polite around each other. Maybe he is starting to acknowledge his feelings for him? I mean, holding the door open for him has to mean something! You don’t get treatment like that from just anyone. Shou was acting like a real gentleman!”

Jun pushed open their door and entered first.

“A real gentleman, indeed”, Kenji said somewhat dryly, took up Jun’s suitcase again and followed him into the room.

Jun stood frozen and stared onto the bed. It was a double bed alright, but not a very large one. It would be impossible to avoid body contact in it.

“Are you kidding me?”, Jun howled out. “It’s so small! Two people will be pressed together in there!”

“Well”, Kenji said apologetic. “If it’s bothering you, I can …”

Jun turned around to stare at Kenji wide-eyed.

“It would have been perfect!”

Jun imagined Shou and Yutaka having to share that small double bed. Damn, that would have been hot.

Kenji sighed and dropped Jun’s suitcase on the left side of the bed. He knew that Jun preferred to sleep closer to the window than to the door.

Jun sat down on the edge of the bed and hung his head low.

“I was this close”, he muttered. “This close to making all of my dreams come true.”

“If they are attracted to each other, they will figure it out in twin beds, too”, Kenji tried to comfort him.

Jun looked up to him and managed a thankful smile.

“I appreciate you trying, though”, he said. “It’s nice you support me in this. I know you don’t believe in their love.”

Kenji shrugged and started to unpack his things from the training bag.

“Do you mind, if I take a shower first?”, Jun asked. “I feel sweaty and disgusting. I really can’t force you to sleep next to me like that.”

Kenji smiled at him.

“I don’t think you are disgusting, ever”, he said. “But sure, you can go first.”

Jun collected his stuff from the suitcase, before entering the bath. He always brought a lot of cosmetics with him on trips. His hair was usually dry from dying it so often and his skin needed a lot of care, too. That was probably, why his suitcase was always so heavy. That, and the fact that he couldn’t settle for an outfit beforehand and always took too many clothes.

He stepped under the shower, and allowed the warm water to wash away his worries. He wondered, if Shou and Yutaka were taking a shower right now, too. Probably not together, Jun didn’t get his hopes up like that. But maybe Yutaka walked around the room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist afterwards, Shou’s eyes following him through the room, taking in his bare skin and wondering, why the sight made him feel so flustered. He’d blush and Yutaka would notice, gently teasing him about it. It wouldn’t cause the ultimate confession yet, of course, just set the right atmosphere for what was going to happen later. Jun knew how stories like these were supposed to go.

He tried not to imagine things between his bandmates too vividly under the shower, though. It got him a little too excited. Two handsome men like that. Way more handsome than Jun himself at least. They would surely look good together.

He turned off the water, drying himself off with a fluffy, white towel. He wrapped it around his waist while getting ready for bed applying moisturizer, brushing his teeth, combing his hair.

Then he walked back into the room. Nudity had never been a big deal between him and Kenji. For Kenji nudity never seemed to be a big deal in any context. Jun did not feel embarrassed, even as Kenji watched him now, while he searched his suitcase for the pyjamas.

“Are you done?”, Kenji assured, after Jun had gotten dressed again and fixed himself a book to read a page before going to sleep.

“Sure”, Jun assured and made himself comfortable on the bed. “You can use the bath now.”

He watched Kenji as he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. Those hotel rooms always seemed too small for Kenji. It wasn’t just his height and his broad shoulders that looked weird in this cramped place with the small bed. Kenji usually seemed to burst with joy and enthusiasm and the small room seemed unable to contain his whole personality. When it came to character, Kenji deserved to be on a huge stage all the time, Jun thought.

He turned towards the book he was holding without even opening it.

He thought of Shou and Yutaka next door again. If something happened between them, would he even know? Would they tell their bandmates? For all that Jun knew, they might be in a happy relationship for years already. Shou hadn’t seemed too pleased with the possibility of changing roommates. But then, why not take the chance of sharing the bed? Maybe Yutaka really used up too much space in his sleep.

Jun put aside his book and checked his phone instead. He loved checking out the posts of fans, whom he followed with his fake account. There were usually cute pictures of Shou and Yutaka together. Sometimes, very rarely, there were pictures of himself, too. He always scrolled past them very fast.

Of course, occasionally he felt weird about swooning over his bandmates like this. When he wanted to see them, he didn’t have to stare at pictures on his phone like a creep. He could go over next door and knock. It was different for the fans, who didn’t know them in person. Jun should have a little more respect for their privacy. However, there was something soothing in fading in with the crowd of fans. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted Shou and Yutaka happy together. It was a goal they shared, something that made Jun escape from his own life and his own worries for a little while.

Kenji entered the room again. Jun looked up shortly. Kenji was naked. He hadn’t even bothered with a towel around his waist. Jun looked back onto his mobile screen.

There was a moment of silence, in which Kenji towelled off his hair.

“You think we could hear them, if they banged?”, Jun asked without looking up. “The walls seem to be quite thin.”

Kenji chuckled.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen”, he observed.

Jun sighed.

“You are right. They have twin beds. Nothing will happen between them”, he agreed.

Kenji pulled a goofy face. It did nothing to hide his handsomeness, though.

“I don’t think the problem is the beds.”

Jun shook his head and finally lowered his phone to get a better look at Kenji. He kept his eyes fixed on Kenji’s face, though.

“If they had to share the bed, they’d surely have sex. If there is only one bed, the potential couple is bound to have sex. Don’t you read at all? It’s science.”

Kenji snorted and put the towel over the backrest of the armchair by the window.

“I don’t see how that should be science”, he said.

“Well, think of all the sexual tension it would create. Shou and Yutaka in a bed together this small. Their limbs would brush against each other. They could sense each other’s body heat. The sexual tension would get sheer unbearable. There is only one blanket, too. They’d have to snuggle up to each other, painfully aware of only the thin layer of clothing keeping them apart.”

“Yeah, about the clothing”, Kenji interrupted him. “I kind of thought we’d have separate beds and you know I prefer to sleep naked. I didn’t bring pyjamas. You won’t feel harassed by that, will you?”

Jun waved it off absentmindedly. He had spent so much time around naked Kenji already, sleeping next to him like that wouldn’t feel weird at all.

“Sure, I don’t care”, he said nonchalantly and turned back to his phone.

Kenji pulled back the blanket to sneak in next to Jun. The bed really was small and Kenji took up a large part of it. His upper arm was resting against Jun’s, but there wasn’t enough space for either of them to back off. This would be a very cuddly night.

“Don’t tell me you’re staring at pictures of them again?”, Kenji assured and peaked over Jun’s shoulder.

Jun shuffled a little closer, snuggling up against Kenji’s shoulder, so Kenji could get a good look at his phone screen, too.

“Look at this!”, he said and zoomed in. “The way Yutaka looks at Shou here. Full of hunger and greed and longing and affection. He is clearly in love.”

Kenji sighed. Jun could feel the heaving of his chest against himself.

“I think he is looking past Shou at the buffet actually. You remember? There was a live barbecue that day.”

Jun flicked his tongue and he pulled back from Kenji again, trying to create a distance that was impossible to achieve in the small bed.

“You just lack sense of romance”, he declared.

Kenji gave nothing but a low hum.

Eventually Jun put his mobile aside, picking up his book again. He held it in his hands indecisively. Reading a novel was surely more acceptable than engaging in weird fantasies about his colleagues. But he felt weirdly distracted and unfocused.

“Hey, Jun”, Kenji said softly.

Jun turned his head, surprised to find Kenji had rolled to his side and was watching him currently.

“Why is it so important to you? This whole thing with Shou and Yutaka? It’s really starting to get out of hand lately. I don’t mean to lecture you. I’m worried.”

Jun sighed and put his book back onto the bedside table. He didn’t know where to look, so he kept his eyes on the opposite wall.

“Reality is just unsatisfying”, he confessed lowly. “I’m feeling sick with worry all the time and just … dizzy with everything that’s going on currently. I need to believe in something nice.”

“But why them?”, Kenji asked. He had dropped the topic many times before already, but Jun had the feeling, that today he would keep pushing. “You could believe in world peace. Or romantic comedies. Why Shou and Yutaka?”

Jun exhaled soundly, then he rolled over, too, so he could face Kenji. He was the only one with whom he had ever talked about his obsession. With Kenji he didn’t have secrets. It was work that had brought them together. He knew a handsome, sporty guy like Kenji would never had ended up in Jun’s company otherwise. Still, he was his best friend.

“I just want to believe that a love like that exists. Supporting someone else with a crazy concept like an air band. Always fighting, but knowing you’ll never break up, because your love is just too strong, turning all the arguments gentle and playful. I want to believe someone could look at me the way that … Yutaka looks at barbecues.”

Kenji chuckled at Jun’s admittance. He remembered where Yutaka had looked that day. It hadn’t been at Shou.

“Also”, Jun added. “I really admire you guys, but especially Shou. He is a huge role model for me. It would mean so much to me, if … if we were the same, you know? If he validated the things I felt. It would be great to know he’s in love with another man.”

Kenji reached out, gently touching Jun’s lower arm.

“Hey”, he said quietly. “You don’t need him to feel the same to be valid. And if it’s about wanting to be loved … why don’t you ask for something for yourself? Why not fantasize about Shou yourself, if you admire him so much?”

Jun could hear the hesitation in Kenji’s voice. He didn’t seem too excited about the perspective of Jun crushing on Shou.

Jun smiled sadly.

“I don’t know, for me, the world just seems to be on hard mode. I don’t really believe I could ever find that kind of love and keep it. It’s unrealistic. I want to believe it’s possible for them, though. They deserve it.”

“You deserve it, too”, Kenji said.

“Also, imagining them together is just hot”, Jun added. “I can’t imagine anything that hot involving myself. I’m awkward. I’d ruin my own fantasy.”

Kenji chuckled again and nudged Jun’s chin lightly.

“Okay, fine”, he said, obviously not willing to argue, although he usually scolded Jun for being too self-deprecating. “But why Shou and Yutaka? You might as well ship me with one of them.”

“They have chemistry”, Jun snorted, trying to dismiss the question.

“I do have chemistry with Yutaka as well”, Kenji clarified. “We’re close. And you know, that I actually do like men. Neither Shou nor Yutaka ever confirmed something like that. It would be logical to think of me first.”

Jun looked at Kenji’s chest, instead of meeting his eyes.

He imagined Kenji kissing Yutaka. It didn’t cause the warm fluttering in his chest, that he experienced whenever he imagined Shou and Yutaka together. Instead, his whole stomach bolted and he felt like throwing up.

He raised his gaze, meeting Kenji’s eyes. Their dark brown was tender, as always when he looked at Jun.

“I’m not good at asking for things myself”, Jun confessed quietly, his voice hoarse. “That doesn’t mean I’m selfless. Even if I don’t dare to want something, it doesn’t mean I can bring myself to share.”

Even if Jun didn’t dare to watch Kenji for too long, while he dozed off in the car. Even if he didn’t dare to think about the fact that he wasn’t wearing any clothes right now too intensely. He couldn’t bring himself to even imagine Kenji kissing someone else.

“You know”, Kenji said and reached for Jun’s hand. He took it and placed it against his chest, right above his heart, holding it in place. Jun could not sense his heartbeat, but he sensed how warm Kenji’s body felt and how smooth his skin. “You are allowed to want.”

Jun swallowed hard. He had known he was allowed to want for a long time already. Kenji had made that more than obvious. But still, Jun hadn’t dared.

“If it’s Shou and Yutaka”, he started hesitantly. “It’s not my fault, if it doesn’t work out. I can hope, and I can fantasize. But I don’t have to act on it and I can’t do anything wrong, that will ruin it. I can be happy, when I think about them, but I don’t have to be scared. It will never be my fault and it will never be me getting heartbroken. There is always a risk when you want things for yourself.”

“Don’t be scared”, Kenji whispered.

And Jun looked at him and finally allowed himself to let his eyes linger. He saw Kenji’s handsome features, his beautiful smile, his dark eyes - that always followed Jun through every room. And he allowed himself to feel his body against himself, the heat they were sharing underneath the one blanket. And with Kenji this close to himself, he hardly felt scared at all.

“Oh no”, Yutaka groaned, when the moaning started. The walls of the hotel were so thin, they were able to hear everything perfectly.

“Ha!”, Shou exclaimed happily from the twin bed at the other side of the room. “Told you. Only one bed. It’s science!”

#Golden Bomber #utahiroba jun #Darvish Kenji #Kiryuuin Shou #Kyan Yutaka #fanfiction #fanfic #not sure which one to tag so I'm using both #darupa #kirikyan #Happy birthday Jun~

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theawkwardterrier · 5 years ago

Text

Beneath the Flap

Steggy Week 2k19, day 4 Prompt: AUs and crossovers

Summary: The serum doesn’t work out as planned. Steve gets a new role in the SSR.

AO3 link here.

With Dr. Erskine dead, no one can entirely explain why the serum worked, or why Steve woke up the next morning to find that it had entirely stopped working and left him just as he had been before. The vein in Colonel Phillips’ neck gets a worryingly energetic workout as he moves between yelling at Steve (again) for getting himself on the front page, and yelling at Howard for having created a single super soldier for about twelve hours and now not even that.

“What’s done,” Agent Carter says firmly from her place against the wall behind the desk, “is done. And I think, sir, that we all just need to move forward. We’re still meant to fly to London, I presume?” She doesn’t give Steve more than a casual glance, but he still appreciates her speaking up on his behalf.

“The three of us are,” Phillips says, moving on to a more businesslike crabbiness. “But now I don’t have many options for what to do with this one.”

Steve stands as straight as he can now that his scoliosis is back. “Sir, I’d like to reiterate my request to come to London with you.”

Phillips gives a snorting little laugh. “‘Reiterate your request.’ Son, I’d like to remind you that I turned you down yesterday during your fifteen minutes of being Charles Atlas. Now you’re back to being a shrimpy little thing who barely survived basic? I’m sorry, but the senator doesn’t want you on his plate, and neither do I. We’ll just have to see if the lab boys will still take you.”

Stark steps forward. “Actually, I’d like to keep looking at him. At this point, I’m the most familiar with the process. Maybe by figuring out what went wrong here, I can figure out how to get it working again.” Phillips still looks dubious, so he adds, “Might be able to make it more broadly applicable, get the whole program working like we had wanted.”

There’s a split second where Steve thinks the answer will be no, but then Phillips says gruffly, “Alright, pack your bags. But Stark, this had absolutely better not interfere with your other work.”

“It’ll be a side project,” Stark swears, raising a hand.

“And perhaps when Private Rogers is not being a test subject, we could find him some other duties,” adds Agent Carter, and while it’s phrased as a suggestion, it borders on an order. Phillips looks amused so briefly Steve isn’t entirely sure he saw right, but then points a finger at Agent Carter.

“You’re right, Agent. I suppose I can find him something else to take care of.”

“Like I said, most people are pretty good by now about keeping it clean,” says Private Allen, “but if you catch something…” She snips her scissors through the air over the shared square desk in their back office in demonstration.

Steve eyes his pair warily. Sure, he’s had his own mail censored, he knows that. But being the censor is different. Time of war, he reminds himself, and winces at what a slippery slope that is.

Once he gets started, though, he finds that it is pretty easy, just as Private Allen had said. Most of the folks detailed to the SSR know how to keep a secret, and the stuff they write to siblings or sweethearts or fellow soldiers is pedestrian - about the food, or how they're feeling, or the guy in the next bunk who talks in his sleep. Steve snorts reading through the half dozen letters Corporal Daniels has copied out exactly to different girls at different addresses, and rolls his eyes at the way Private Ellerby describes his duties to his mother with a sort of loftiness that is entirely unearned by the guy in charge of divvying out new boots.

He hasn't even touched his scissors, and hasn't entirely realized the morning has passed when Allen says, "One more each and then we'll go have some lunch?" and he agrees.

Dear Kitty, says the letter that he opens next

The weather isn't exactly welcoming, but it is nice to see familiar scenery again. I know things might wear for you a bit, seeing the inside of the same four walls most of the time, but it wears on me sometimes not to always know where I'm going to hang my hat from one night to the next.

(Not that I wear my uniform hat very often - it gives me a bit too much of a jaunty recruitment poster look - but you'll forgive a turn of phrase, I hope?)

Steve laughs a little, and Allen, not looking up from her own letter, asks, "Is that one of Patterson's? If he's trying to hint again about what he’s packing down below, I'll tell you that he's certainly exaggerating." Steve waves her off and continues.

Things haven't been going quite as smoothly as I'd wished - we lost an excellent man recently, and in some senses more - but we go on. I'll be travelling a bit and I'm not sure where, but I'm sure the service will do its best to make sure that your letters find me. I know that you enjoy a good chat more than sitting down to compose a letter, but I'll ask your favor in continuing to write. Since Michael— the writer censors herself, a thick black line drawn through whatever she had written next. Steve refrains from holding it up to the light to try to identify the words.

Hearing news from old friends always brings a smile to my face, and reminds me that we aren't fighting alone. And, of course, your care packages are always appreciated. The one you sent last time was a treat. The Body in the Library and a pair of your hoarded Dairy Milks were just what I needed - bless you, and twice again!

As for the issue we spoke about last time we were together, I'd ask that you remember to speak up. I know you think that you were brought on only because you are excellent at adding numbers together in your head, but I'll remind you that the skill is more than that and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Mr. G can certainly build a head of steam, but steam is simply the venting of heat and we’ll all be better off if you hold your ground, wait for it to dissipate, and make sure that he understands what you're saying. I appreciate knowing that people like you are helping us work through our problems, and I'll sleep even better at night if you would push through the stubbornness of others and allow your solutions to truly shine. You are brilliant, you've been right more often than nearly anyone, and if they aren't going to listen, you must make them.

I'll leave off my scolding here (I am still holding out for something sweet next time, after all) but remember that I'm thinking of you even through everything else. Speak out, Kit!

Much love,

Peggy

When he comes to the signature, something in him isn't surprised. It isn't that he and Agent Carter are best friends - little could be further from the truth - but the letter shows the tenacity and intelligence and subversive bits of humor that he has already noticed in her. The handwriting is clear and readable, although there's a bit of a patchwork quality to its composition, a smudging to the ink in some places, that makes him think that it was dashed off in odd moments, pieced together as she found the time, and that touches him too: the thought of her remembering to jot down advice and comfort to a friend even with everything he’s seen her taking care of. He notices the places where she'd done her job for him too - "the issue we spoke about last time," “Mr. G” - and his eyes move again to the thick black slash in the center of the page. There's still a place or two where he should probably do a bit of a snip (the reference to Erskine's death is on the borderline), but he decides to let it slide. Steve was chosen for this job, as much as Phillips had chosen him for anything, because he had knowledge of some of the SSR's most top secret work and would be able to pick up references to it. Someone without that knowledge, though, wouldn't understand what was truly being said.

Or at least that's what Steve tells himself as he slips the letter, whole and untouched, back into its envelope, marks it with his censor’s label, and places it in the box set aside for mailing.

"Time for lunch?" Allen asks, getting to her feet, and Steve, considering whether he’ll have time to eat and still run out to find a bookshop with Agatha Christie, agrees.

Kitty -

Just a brief note to wish you a happy birthday. Imagine me singing if you’d like, though I think we both know that it isn’t truly a strong point of mine.

Considering geography, weather, battle lines, the whims of fate, etc., I’m not entirely certain that this will reach you before your next birthday, but hopefully my gift will arrive in a timelier manner (it needs some more particular handling than a letter; you’ll understand my meaning when you receive it).

I hope everyone there is planning to celebrate you properly. And if they’re still reluctant to have a real party there after the one they threw for me and Fred, please pass on from me that I don’t actually consider what happened between us a tragedy and that things in fact are looking even better for me now than they were then - in more ways than one, actually.

I know it seems a bit defensive, but speaking honestly, Kit, I look back on the person I was then and it’s as if I only dreamed being her.

Anyway, you can pass on my official lifting of the curse, along with my greetings to everyone (except Noreen - we both know why). But many happy returns mostly to you, Kitty. I hope things look even better at this time next year for all of us.

Best, Peg

“So why did they pick you for this detail?” Steve asks as they sit at their traditional table in the mess.

“I’m usually in the secretarial pool,” says Rainy. Maybe it’s not professional and he should still be calling her Private Allen, but she’d told him her nickname and he figures they’re friends now. “It was in my file that I speak French, and after the last girl who did got married, they asked me to step in. You know that we can’t just pass through letters because there’s no one to understand them.” Steve is meant to be taking a similar role for the SSR’s secret and science-related assignments - last week he’d finally been given some heightened clearance, and several encyclopedias worth of classified files to read - but sometimes he wonders if assigning him the letters not actually written in English would be more effective.

Rainy pushes away her plate, the little leftover lump of stew, with its approximate meat and perhaps once potatoes, jiggling slightly. She examines her bread, crinkling her mouth, but butters it anyway. Steve doesn’t take any such issue. Meals here are served on time and in what he considers plentiful quantities. Plus the doctor who’d done his physical when he’d arrived had put him on some sort of extra milk ration in an attempt to “get some heft on these bones of yours” (and given him the glasses he’d known for years he’d needed and also known he couldn’t afford). Steve can still sometimes grasp the feeling of those hours of having been taller, broader, of not struggling to breathe, of having a straight spine and eyes that just worked. But even without all that magical science he had hoped would change things, being a little guy in the army he’s in some ways better off than he’s ever been.

“Everyone from secretarial who has the night off is going to the pictures after supper, if you want to come,” offers Rainy. “They want to see Mrs. Miniver, but I have the feeling I’ll end up crying. I’d much rather see Yankee Doodle Dandy, but I’ve been outvoted again.” She puts on a little pout, which makes Steve laugh.

“Getting your performance ready?” he asks, and Rainy sticks her tongue out at him.

“The girls are much harder to convince than boys ever were,” she reflects, sighing as she tosses hair that Steve can now see clearly is a bouncy and beautiful blonde wave. With the glasses to help him actually pick up on details, he itches for his sketchbook and pencils more than ever. Rainy really does have a fascinating face, beautiful if not classically so, brimming with confidence and a bit of mystery. He wonders if he could get her to sit for him.

“Steve, are you going to answer the question, or are you just going to stare?”

“Sorry.” He decides to ask her later, maybe after the film and the inevitable follow-up visit to a pub. “I’d love to come. Thanks for asking me.”

She stands to clear her dishes. “Well, everyone’s been wondering about you, so coming out tonight and meeting them might settle the questions.”

He knew that he stuck out among the staff here. The only surprise is that no one’s confronted him yet about how he’d gotten in. “So what’s everyone been saying?” He gulps down the last of his prescription milk and stands too.

“Top theory is that you’re the secret son of some higher up,” she tells him seriously, and he almost drops his tray.

“Which one?”

“Most people are split between Marshall and Nimitz, and there are some who are sure it’s actually Phillips, but I think Hap Arnold’s the best looking, so that’s where my money is.” She elbows him as they finish scraping and sorting their plates. ��Want to give a pal the real story so I can get a jump on things?”

He shrugs, a little uncomfortable even as he’s amused by her matter-of-fact tone. “Someone took pity on me, I guess. Not a general though, and certainly not Phillips.”

There’s that theatrical nature again: Rainy looks disappointed only for a beat before she perks back up again, says, “We’ve got to come up with something better than that by tonight,” and starts proposing stories as they walk back to the censorship office.

Agent Carter is seated at a table by the back wall. For a second, Steve thinks he sees her eyes following him, and actually considers waving to her although they haven’t spoken since he’s been here. But then he blinks and she is just eating absently while paging through a file on the table in front of her.

Maybe the glasses just don’t work as well as he thought they did. He goes back to work, trying to forget the moment that he had apparently just imagined.

Steve starts saving her letters until the end of the day. He knows that it isn’t exactly professional of him, but he can't help but want to savor them. He tells himself it's alright - he doesn't give special treatment to all her letters, only those to Kit. The dutiful missives to her parents, those that go to the other relatives and acquaintances with whom she occasionally corresponds - they are all read and processed in the order he comes across them, just as he does with all the rest of his load. But when he comes across one addressed in her now-familiar handwriting to Katherine Moore, he tucks it aside, uses it as an incentive to get through another day of the work that wears and weighs on him more and more.

He is angry at himself, that all he wanted to do was make a real contribution to the war effort and here he is in the heart of it all and still it isn't enough for him. He is angrier that he has given up asking Phillips for more that it seems he will never receive. And he lies guiltily in his bunk at night thinking about how much he loves reading over Peggy's writing, hating that he thinks of her as Peggy now only because he's listened in on her talking to a friend. Sure, it's his job, and sure, she must know that someone would be doing it, but it doesn't give him the right to take so much joy in it. No one else would give them more than a cursory glance - they're perfectly ordinary letters on the face of it; whoever reads Kit's letters on the other end probably doesn't remember them by the time they're through - but Steve can't help it. When he forgets himself, he wonders what she is going to say the next time, what little turn of phrase will make him laugh, what observation will make him think, what detail she will reveal about her life that will only make him fall for her further.

Dear Kitty,

When I said that you should speak out, I had no idea that I would be encouraging you to do so against me. I am proud of you, however. Excellent preparation for the next time someone tries to speak over one of your ideas (and we both know there will come a next time).

You say that you're ashamed that I'm happier now during wartime than I would have been otherwise. Sometimes I'm ashamed at it myself. But then I remember that it is not my choice to make it better for many women in Britain now than it was when we were at peace. Yes, the franchise has been extended by a lordly and reluctant hand, but I'll remind you that it was through strenuous efforts on the parts of our mothers (well, not mine, perhaps) both in civil protest and in another time of war. Do you truly think you would have been allowed to learn higher maths, the advanced calculus over which I despair and in which you so revel, to truly exercise your brilliant mind, had the opportunity at B— (she's blacked out the name, although Steve has read enough of his classified files to insert "Bletchley Park"; he snips carefully to take out the redaction completely) not been opened to you? Do you think that I would have been allowed to show what I was truly made of in a world where women were meant to aspire only to a man, home, and family - and where a nice man, a fitting man, was neither required, nor encouraged in developing?

This war has devastated me, Kit. I've seen its ravages more closely than you can imagine and they terrify and sicken me, and make me even more determined. I am doing absolutely everything in my power to make sure it comes to as clean, fast, and righteous an end as can be hoped for at this point. But I would make myself a liar to my own mind and to you if I ignored the ways that it has given me things that I never would have had, showed me things I might not have discovered until too late otherwise.

I would trade my life for the war to be over. I would trade my life for it to never have started. But it has, it is here, and it has opened doors that would have remained firmly shut - and I know not only for me.

Peggy

P.S. Had a report from Hew that you're in high spirits, and that you were very thankful for the birthday gift - I will politely refrain from imagining how you might have showed your appreciation. Don't worry, it wasn't hard to have him reassigned to courier duty in line with your special day, and I’m sure I’ll have another urgent message to send along with him. Perhaps just around New Year’s?

“What are you sighing about?” Rainy asks, eyes almost crossing as she focuses on cutting out some single incriminating word inconsiderately placed in the exact center of the page.

Steve hadn’t even realized he had been sighing. “It’s nothing,” he says, thinking about how Peggy had so perfectly, so precisely and vehemently, expressed something he had felt himself and felt terrible for feeling, something he had never been quite sure how to say.

It made him feel a little less lonely. He wonders what she would say if he went up to her and said, “That strange and awful kind of lucky feeling? I understand it too.” Probably she wouldn’t say anything, just wonder who in the hell he was and get him shipped back home.

It might be worth it, though, just to see her in real life again, instead of the vague paper outline he has to conjure up every time he reads her words.

“Now I’m not calling this a solution,” Stark says as Steve buttons up his shirt and smiles at the nurse slipping out of the exam room. “But I’ll comfortably consider it a breakthrough.”

“A breakthrough that came totally by accident,” Steve points out.

“So did X-rays and the Toll House cookie.” Howard grins unconcernedly and claps his hands together. Steve’s been coming to see him every week or two for the last three months and he’s never looked this delighted with the progress. And it wasn’t even Howard who did anything: apparently a lab tech had brought one of the portable sun lamps which are so popular at headquarters over to his work station where he had a couple of vials of Steve’s blood.

“And you’re sure the ultraviolet in there caused some sort of reaction?” Steve asks.

“That’s the theory as of now. We’ll keep running isolation tests but,” Howard smacks a file gleefully against his palm, “the samples that were exposed to the UV look almost identical to the ones we had taken right after the procedure.”

“And you think you’ll really be able to get things back to how they were?”

For a minute, Howard looks more cautious. “I don’t want to get your hopes too far up, pal. It’s looking good, real good, but this really was Erskine’s baby and I’m just the understudy here. I don’t want to make any promises.”

“How much longer are you looking at for testing?”

“If it goes well, maybe another month and we’d be ready to try again. You still willing?”

Steve tries to give a simple nod, nothing overeager, nothing to jinx it. Last time had turned out to be too good to be true, but maybe this time… “Come find me when you’re ready.”

“Good enough.” The door opens, and Howard’s secretary enters. “Good to see you, sweetheart,” Howard tells her in that smarmy tone of his as she hands him a stack of papers to sign with a smile. He nods to Steve, who says, “Hi, Millie,” and sees himself out.

He’d told Rainy a couple of weeks back that he didn’t understand why girls like Millie put up with that kind of stuff from people like Howard or worse, and she’d just laughed and said, “Of course you don’t. The thing of it is, Steve, when this war finally gets done, most of us are going to have to go back to the way things were, which means that this is a perfect time to find a half decent husband. You have to keep smiling to keep the options open, even with the beasts around base.”

“Why would you want to settle for half decent?”

Her smile turned slightly brittle at the corners. “It’s not really about want, more about what’s going to have to happen. There aren’t as many nice men as you might think. I have standards - I keep my ear to the ground, so never anyone with a wife or a fiancee or a steady, and no one who’s given another girl a problem - but I have to jump on it, or I’ll be back home with a dud or everyone whispering about what I might have gotten up to with all these men here.”

Steve didn’t even feel overly affronted by the remark - he’d spent his whole life firmly in the dud category when it came to women, and at least Rainy was his friend - but something must have shown in his face because she’d pointed a finger and said, “You’re lucky I haven’t jumped you, honestly, but it’s pretty obvious that you’re taken, considering all the sighing and mooning you do when her letters come through here.”

“What do you—I’m not—I don’t moon.” But she was already grabbing a letter off her desk and staring at it with big dopey blinks, heaving her shoulders about and taking in huge, dramatic breaths, occasionally letting out a little ha-ha-ha chuckle. He guessed that it was probably a pretty decent impression of him reading one of Peggy’s letters, but he wished he wasn’t so obvious about it.

He’s not exactly being subtle now, but he never is on the way back from his appointments with Howard. He doesn’t get many other opportunities to wander around with his eyes casually peeled - usually he’s meant to either be working, at chow, or in his bunk, not moving through the more essential and top-secret SSR areas where people like Howard and Phillips and Agent Carter do their work.

He’s distracted from thoughts of getting a glimpse of her when he comes across the huge map that dominates the tactical room. He tries to just peep from the corners of his eyes as he strolls through, but even with his new glasses he can’t see quite that well. Then again, no one’s around at the moment, the last of the SSR personnel striding out with a stack of folders and not even a glance at Steve. He takes advantage, placing his hands at the edge of the massive model as his gaze sweeps over the little markers that represent troops and bases. He frowns, and not only because those little wooden figures are too insignificant for what they’re meant to stand in for: Bucky and his friends, people who Steve grew up with, millions of exhausted and foolish and jubilant soldiers, each with their own past and future. How can a war ever end when all the people fighting it are reduced to game pieces? How can a war ever end when the people in charge are overlooking something so major?

“That’s not right,” he mutters to himself.

“What isn’t right, Private?”

He spins, not quite believing that she is here, that he didn’t sense her behind him or at least hear her heels approaching.

“Your map’s wrong,” he blurts, thinking of the way Bucky would cover his face in embarrassment because even after all that tutelage Steve still couldn’t get a simple sentence out to impress a lady.

Her mouth twitches upward, just the left side, and she lifts a meaningful brow at him. “I did well at geography and I’m fairly certain that we’ve labeled everything correctly.”

“It’s not that.” He gestures to the Alps between Italy and Austria. “Why isn’t there a fortress marked there?”

“Why should there be?”

She is studying him intently now and he stumbles a bit with his words before getting back on track. “You’ve got a half dozen units which have encountered Hydra troops in a pretty small area and a short time span. They have to be coming from somewhere, and I’d say the likeliest place given the information is about here.”

“I’ve been informed by experts in six different disciplines that it’s absolutely impossible for someone to build anything there because of the bloody great mountains on either side. And until we can get further aerial surveillance of the site, it’s known around here as Agent Carter’s magical base theory,” she says with a wry bit of challenge in her eye. He just shrugs.

“I don’t know about magic, but I do know that logic dictates an enemy base around that location. And besides, isn’t this a rogue Nazi science operation we’re talking about? Maybe they could come up with a way around the problem of...what was that? ‘Bloody great mountains?’”

"Cheeky," she says quietly, but she's smiling as she does, and the affection in her tone startles him and turns something sour in his belly. Because she's here talking to him as an equal without knowing that he's been peering into her private thoughts, mulling over and coveting them in a way he doesn't with anyone else's feelings. If she knew that, she would probably never look at him with politeness much less friendliness.

"I should get back," he says abruptly, and he shoves his hands into his uniform pockets and finds the first exit he can.

Kit!

The news came through the grapevine before Hew arrived back - I should have known that soldiers would be such massive gossips, but honestly - which is how I've gotten this letter out in the early post.

Congratulations to the both of you. I know you have that lovely rose-covered church back home that will make the perfect spot for the ceremony - even if you decide on a winter wedding, everything will look absolutely picturesque all draped in snow. And while Hew might argue for Edinburgh, I do encourage you - as always - to put your foot down. Although goodness knows you would merely have to think about a trinket you saw on holiday as a child and the man would already be crawling on his knees over the ocean to fetch it for you. He really is a darling where you're concerned, and I say you couldn't be luckier.

I certainly have no wish to intrude on your happiness, but you did ask about my own romantic prospects, and I'm afraid to report that they're a bit stalled at the moment. (I don't wish to ruin things further, but "grim" might be putting it better, if I'm to be frank.) I wasn't actively seeking a single thing in that area, and I think you’re well aware how thin on the ground suitable prospects are, especially someone who would find me suitable in return. (If Fred was frightened off by a bit of light introductory work, he would barely give me the time of day in my current position.)

But then the man I’ve been writing about came across my path and I could suddenly think of little else. Do you recall the letter your sister sent years back describing the Ideal Man, the one we all laughed over that night until we couldn't breathe? I know it’s a silly old thing, but I keep thinking to myself that he ticks each box: kindness and compassion, intelligence, respect for who I am and what I stand for, looks (it must be mentioned), and that special something that works its magic on you in particular...Things are a bit sticky, given our relative positions, and he seems rather dense about the whole thing, but those factors could be overcome. We had a conversation recently that made me think he thought of me in the same way. However, it ended with a definite rejection, and I have seen him many times in close company with a woman, so I wonder if he is perhaps very privately spoken for. I'm nearly ready to give up, if you'd like the truth.

I know. You're the romantic of the two of us, Kitty, and I can practically hear you telling me to seize the day and not rest until I've properly done the job.

I suppose that attitude is why you are the once announcing an engagement and I'm the one moping over people who don't seem to notice a thing.

I'll take the advice, if I can. After all, I would never want to upset the bride before her nuptials.

All my love and best wishes,

Peggy

Well, Steve thinks, swallowing hard as he sets the letter down. That's that. She's had her eye on someone else this entire time and he was a fool to think he ever had a chance. This man is a fool, too, for not seeing the chance he has.

He still finds a smile for Kit: he's never met her, never even read one of her letters, but Peggy's warmth for her has sparked the same within himself. He hopes that she and Hew are happy, that they both make it through and have a chance at a life together.

"Take a walk, Rogers," Rainy tells him kindly. "You're going to fog up the windows with all your sighing, and it's still first thing in the morning."

"No," Steve says, biting down on the wave of sadness inside of himself. Even the letters, illicit as they were, aren't safe anymore. "I can work." He’ll have to get used to it sooner or later.

He starts looking out for the man who has Peggy’s heart. He doesn’t even notice he’s doing it until he catches himself staring with furrowed brow at a letter from Corporal Lewis, who he thinks he’s seen talking to her a couple of times. He tries to recall whether he’d noticed between them that particular magic she’d mentioned. He imagines he’d know what it looks like: it’s what he’s felt looking at her, all the way back to Camp Lehigh. With a precision that surprises him, he can recall the quiet amusement, the perfect red upturn of her mouth as she’d smiled at him when he’d climbed into the back of her jeep. The memory of it still makes him smile now, even as he knows that it’s the sort of thing that will have to keep him going from now on.

“Private Rogers.”

He snaps to attention, dropping the letter and saluting from the crisp, commanding tone even before he quite registers who’s addressing him.

“Agent Carter.” He flounders for a minute. “This is Rainy. Private Lorraine. Private Allen, I mean.”

“Private.” Peggy nods at her, but Rainy is too busy letting her eyebrows climb into her hair and mouthing “Is that her?!” at Steve as he tries to subtly wave her off. Unbelievable that he once thought her sophisticated and composed.

“Perhaps we might speak in the corridor? I wouldn’t want to distract Private Allen from her work.”

Steve can practically feel Rainy’s wide eyes on his back as he holds the door for Agent Carter and follows her out into the hallway. He expects that his friend will have her thumbscrews waiting when he comes back.

“Rainy would have let you distract her all day,” he says, trying for a laugh as they find a quiet place around the corner, but Peggy only presses her lips together and says, “Indeed.”

After a space of silence, still waiting for her to speak, he suddenly has an inkling of why he’s been called out here. She’s smart, Agent Carter, and she’s somehow figured out that reading her letters is the best part of any given day, that he sometimes reads them through two or three times before sending them on. She’s probably letting him stew in it, waiting for him to confess. “Was there something you wanted to speak with me about?” he asks through the clenching of his lungs and throat. He stands very straight even as a thread of sweat slides slowly between his uniformed shoulder blades.

“I did.” She gathers something within herself and starts, “Steve—” before he cuts her off.

“Yes, I’ve been reading your letters,” he blurts, barely registering the use of his first name. “It’s my job, but just doing your job is no excuse, and it certainly doesn’t let me off the hook for the way I read them. So I understand if you won’t ever trust me, but I just wanted us to both know.” He lets the last of his breath go as he trails off and faces her like a firing squad.

“Of course you’ve been reading my letters,” she says with what he thinks is a little smile on her face. “All of the higher level SSR correspondence is distributed to you.”

“You knew?” It feels as if he’s six steps behind and he doesn’t quite know how to make his brain catch up.

“Yes. Just as I know that you aren’t particularly good at the job. Agnes who empties your wastepaper basket says that the others in the department are full while you barely ever seem to have anything thrown away.”

“People don’t speak out of turn too often,” he says uncomfortably, but then adds with a bit more fire, “And there’s also the little matter of free speech, unless we just decided to hell with the whole Constitution around the same time we locked up all the Japanese folks.”

“Not quite,” and she’s certainly smiling now, eyes softened at the corners. “It sounds, however, as if you aren’t entirely satisfied in your current position. I was wondering whether we might put your skills to better use elsewhere.” She holds up a file folder he hadn’t even noticed before and flips it open to show far off shots of snow and dirt and trees and an incongruous steel fortress. “The surveillance flights came back. The Hydra base in the Alps is no longer simply my pet theory.”

He can’t help the way his voice picks up, turns serious and strangely professional, as if he’s really part of it all. “So you’re formulating an attack plan?”

“We have something in the works,” she says briefly. “And I actually— Well, I was here to offer you a chance to be involved.”

“In strategy? With you?”

“It would be nice,” she says slowly, “to work with someone with a mind of his own. Someone who can listen.”

Steve’s instinct is to glance around to make sure there’s no one else there she could be referring to. He smothers it, but ends up pointing stupidly to his own chest, which isn’t much better. “Are you sure—Do you really mean me?”

“Who would I be speaking of otherwise?” She tilts her head at him, a bit of hesitance to the motion. That’s not like Peggy, he thinks, and it’s so strange that he knows that she is cautious only in a tactical way when this is one of a bare handful of conversations between them. “Steve, you have been reading my letters, haven’t you? Even the most recent ones?”

A disbelieving little snort escapes him. “You can go back and ask Rainy that question and she’ll laugh herself sick.”

“Is she—Are you...in a relationship?”

“No,” he says in careful confusion, and then adds recklessly, “She says she wouldn’t even take a chance on a guy as hung up as I am on...someone else.”

He remembers the way that remade body of his had reacted, careening around corners, rushing too fast for control. That’s how he feels now, on an edge too rapidly, recklessly, approached. He’d always accepted that he wasn’t exactly a catch for any girl, no matter what Bucky had insisted, and he’d made himself stop caring about it all, given up reaching. Except for now, apparently. Except for her.

She says, “If you’ve read the letters, why would you assume I meant anyone else? Unless—” and something is dawning on him, terrifying and bright and impossible: the idea that she is reaching back.

“Why wouldn’t you just say something?” It’s bewildering to even ask the question, to even be entertaining the possibility that this is what she meant, but she acts as if it isn’t.

“I thought I was, after a fashion,” and he thinks he sees a bit of a blush rising in her cheeks. “Apparently I hadn’t taken into account your obtuseness.”

“And you still want someone that obtuse on your team?” The words contain too much yearning hope for them to simply be about a new army assignment.

“A little obtuseness can be charming, under the correct circumstances,” she says, and he hadn’t noticed that they were so close until a door slams down the hall and they shift apart as if they’re being chaperoned.

“Why don’t we say you report to me at 0800 tomorrow?” She folds the file against her chest with one arm. He has a sudden, delightful image of Peggy as she would have been at school. “I’ll have you officially reassigned by then.”

He nods. “Rainy’s going to be furious. She says it took long enough to break me in, she’s not going to be pleased to have to do it to someone else.”

“Yes, well, I think it’s someone else’s turn to break you in.” Even with her bland, businesslike tone, he feels the tips of his ears glowing from the insinuation.

“Just so I’m aware, how does—” He clears his throat. “How does Colonel Phillips feel about his people becoming...friendly under his watch?”

“Oh, he takes it about as well as you’d expect,” she says casually. “If he finds out about it.”

“Then I guess I’m lucky to have a crack SSR agent on my side.”

Her eyes meet his, and he sees his foolish grin echoed in hers for the moment she allows it. Watching her tuck it away and become professional again only makes him smile wider.

“I’ll see you in a timely manner tomorrow, Private, or I’ll be sending you a strongly worded letter.”

“That doesn’t give me much incentive,” he tells her honestly. “I’d love any kind of letter of my own from you.”

A week later he gets back to his bunk and finds an envelope tucked beneath the blanket addressed in familiar handwriting. He doesn’t even know how she got it there - he’d just left her after a strategy session and her announcement that they would be traveling to visit troops on the continent - but he sits and tears it open before he can think of anything else.

Dear Steve...

#steggyweek2k19 #Steggy #Steggy fic #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Attachments by Rainbow Rowell ft. Steggy

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littlewritingrabbit · 6 years ago

Note

Were you for real about the tree ficlet? Because every time is appreciate William North time, and I need that in my life :')

Indeed I was! I’m afraid it turned out a bit angsty, but it’s still Appreciate William North time, so here you go :”)

September 17th, 1787

Doubtless the Baron von Steuben had seen himwalk up the front path, and doubtless he was waiting inside for him to knock,but William North still hesitated a moment at the front door.

Hehad been surprised that he was invited at all, seeing as he was getting marriedin a month. He hadn’t been glad to put the words on paper and send them off tohis one-time-Inspector-General, but he had been so swamped at the time with armypaperwork and the busyness he hadn’t been aware a wedding would bring into hislife that there was hardly another option. So here he was, holding a book of Germanpoetry wrapped in brown paper in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other,suspecting that the Baron likely did not want to see him.

Heknocked, and to his surprise, von Steuben opened the door and embraced himstraightaway. North, squished as he was against the star medallion that theBaron obstinately wore everywhere (even on his banyan), wondered if he ought tosay something. He settled for “Happy birthday, my dear Baron.”

“Whythank you!” said the Baron, letting him free at last and placing a kiss on eachcheek. His overenthusiastic Italian greyhound Azor took a turn at greetingNorth, jumping up to try licking his face. North laughed and pushed him back. “I’mglad you could come,” said the Baron.

“Iseveryone here already?” North asked as they walked towards the parlor, Azorsniffing happily at his pockets just in case he had brought treats. He wouldhave thought Benjamin Walker would accompany von Steuben to the door.

“Youare everyone,” said the Baron, shooingAzor out of the room lest he attempt to sniff their wineglasses off the table,then sitting heavily on the divan. “Le petit Walker is visiting some relativesof sa grande femme - he will visit me here next week-end. Our dear du Ponceauis practicing law and courting a girl - no time for me, and Fairlie is marriedand getting into public service away in Albany,” he smiled solemnly. “All toogrown up for the old Baron now.”

“OhI doubt that,” said North, taking advantage of the lack of company to curl upbeside von Steuben, resting his head on the embroidered shoulder of his banyan.“Next thing you know they’ll be back introducing their children to you.”

“Ihope not,” von Steuben chuckled, “I’m a terrible influence.”

“Never,”said North with a grin, uncorking the wine.

Thesun shone in the windows as they drank the wine and recalled some pleasant anecdotesfrom their time in the war. North found himself doing so a lot lately, thoughhe realized that perhaps he ought not to glorify a time full of such bloodshed.He simply couldn’t help himself. He’d never felt so surrounded by family. Ofcourse, he had siblings, but they were both quite a bit older than he was, andhis mother had been there to take care of him after his father died, but theirhouse in Boston had been rather quiet. None of his relatives had properly knownhim in any case. How could they, when the secret he kept from them was sogreat? If they could see him sharing a chair with Benjamin Walker, leaning overto kiss him, and then being startled by du Ponceau eavesdropping, or drunkenlycuddling up to the Baron after a most improper party… well, he was fairlycertain they wouldn’t be understanding about such things.

Andso North worked to reconcile the memories of the closest family he’d ever hadwith the occasional nightmares of gunfire and running in terror, because one didnot come without the other.

“Rememberthe red petticoats?” the Baron chuckled.

“Ido! Remember the fireworks when we celebrated the alliance?”

“SoI do!”

Theyfinished off their glasses and von Steuben extricated himself from where he hadbeen wedged between North on one side and some decorative pillows on the otherto retrieve a plate of biscuits. Once several of these were polished off, Northpresented him with the package wrapped in brown paper.

“Ohyou spoil me Will,” he smiled, untying the string around it.

“It’sthe least I could do,” said North, “After all, it’s not every day one turnsfifty-seven!”

Theyspent a good while after that occupied with the poems - the Baron translatingand North commenting on which parts he liked in particular before they fell quietagain.

Northknew he was going to have to broach the subject at some point.

“Isuppose you got my letter…” he said, reaching for another biscuit to avoidcontemplating von Steuben’s expression.

“Idid,” the Baron closed the book of poems softly. “It seemed important news tosend by mail.”

“Iwould rather have said it in person, but… well, you know how life intercedes,” Northstudied the biscuit sadly, well aware of how von Steuben was gazing at him,probably waiting for him to lift his eyes.

VonSteuben took North’s hand, brushing this thumb over the scar that ran along theback where he’d been cut by a redcoat’s sabre. “Do you wish to be married?” heasked.

Theentire time he’d been seeing Mary, courting her, engaged to her, no one hadever asked North that question. First it had been a jesting “You’ve been hangingaround the old Baron a lot lately - you’d best be careful you don’t become anold bachelor like him!” which had mercifully been replaced by “You’re seeingrather a lot of this Duane girl,” with a knowing look, and then “Are youcourting her yet?” and when they thought he couldn’t hear, “Has he got up theguts to court her yet?” and he had figured, why not? She was a dear friend,what could go amiss in courting her when everyone so clearly wanted him to? “So,are you two betrooothed?” and “I’ve heard he’s afraid to propose,” followed inquick succession, and suddenly North had found himself on Mary Duane’s doorstepwith a bouquet of flowers and a ring. No one had ever asked him if that was hisintention. His throat prickled.

“No,”he said, his voice cracking slightly. “No I do not think I do, but what else canI do?”

TheBaron said nothing, but pulled his hand so that North moved closer, curling upbeside him once more with the Baron’s arms around him.

“Ithappened faster than I intended,” North said, “Polly is so kind, and I think Ilove her, in a friendly sort of way, if that makes sense. But to marry her…” hesighed. “I’m terrified. I know I’ll have to be married eventually, but I don’tbelieve I can give my heart away when you and Ben hold it so steadily. You twoknow me better than she ever can, because you know I’m not the hero who comeshome from war to marry a girl and settle down. That’s simply not a part I canplay… yet here I am.”

Heate the biscuit sorrowfully. The Baron was quiet and sturdy beside him. “Areyou upset with me?” North asked.

“Upset?My dear Will, however could you upset me?” von Steuben sounded incredulous.

“Byrunning off to be married, of course,” exclaimed North, “By pretending to bethe returning hero, by pretending I love Mary Duane and not you and Ben… byleaving you like everyone else did.”

“Icould never be upset with you - you’re too kind for it,” said the Baron. “Neithercould I be upset with Walker, or Fairlie, or du Ponceau. They had to make theirown way in the world, and yes, perhaps I miss them, but more than that I wantthem to be happy. If this marriage secures for you a pleasant future, with awife who is a good friend and even children to love and teach, if you wantthem, then I will be happy that you are happy. I will miss you, and I willwrite you altogether too much, but it would be ungrateful of me to keep you allto myself; I learned that long ago. The world around us hasn’t room for thelikes of us together.”

“Wouldthat it did,” said North, his voice trembling with emotion held too long in hislungs, “I would visit Ben Walker with a bouquet and a ring, and we would bemarried, and come live here with you!” He realized, as he said this, that hewasn’t simply melancholy, he was also angry. For a brief moment, William Northwas profoundly and helplessly angry at the gossips and the court-martialers andthe whole world for trying to tell him the way his heart ought to feel. “And wewould say it aloud - the three of us are a team! We know each other’s heartsand love each other for it! That is simply how it works and I cannot explainit!” he said.

TheBaron squeezed North’s shoulders and moved to stand. “I haven’t any rings,” hesaid, “But I agree, a memorial of some sort is in order, I think.”

Northsaid nothing, but followed him to the yard where a cool breeze was rustling theoak leaves above. Von Steuben approached the trunk of the tree, and then pulleda knife from his boot.

“Wasthat… always there?” North asked, but he received no answer. The Baron was busyscraping the knife across the ridged bark of the tree, carving an “f” into thewood.

“Weshall put our names right here,” said von Steuben, “And then this little yardwill always hold our memory.”

“Doyou plan to carve in your full name?” North asked warily.

“Ofcourse not!” smiled the Baron, “I should dull the knife before I even got to “Augustin”!”

Whena spiky F.S. + W.N. had been carved into the tree, the owners of the initialssat to rest in its shade. It was the end of summer and an era all at once. Fornow, however, they were both content to sit in the dappled sunlight and talk oftheir adventures in the Continental Army, both the exciting and the terrifyingtogether, as one did not come without the other.

#History and Writing #Time for a ficlet #Baron von Steuben #William North #Polly Duane #Benjamin Walker #Let North Get Mad 2K19

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tournesoldansunjardin · 6 years ago

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Dear Emma, May 30th Vancouver day trip

I decided to go into Vancouver since it was the only place I could purchased the CBD cream for my knee. Well, what I am saying? If CBD is good for aches and pains, my goodness it should do wonders for all my aches due to Fibromyalgia. I will just get it and slather it all over the sore areas…which are plenty.

My host was kind enough to drive me to the bus stop, which saved me a good 30 minutes. I had loaded extra $ on my Compass card, so was not too worried of transfers and getting to the Waterfront in Vancouver. What I had not anticipated was the bus did NOT drive into the city as a few locals had told me last night. The bus stopped at Bridgeport SkyTrain station and I saw everyone get off. I walked up to the front and asked the driver if this was the end of the line…yuppers!

I remembered Waterfront line since it is close to our Vancouver office and chose that line to get in town.

I had the address of the Cannabis Lounge where I was hoping to get my cream. In BC you don’t need a prescription to get it but in Montreal we do. I have my request put in for that when I get back from vacation but I wanted to try it now since my knees were so painful as well as neck and shoulders, so what had I to lose? My intention was to buy it, try it and then mail it to me in Quebec because there was no way I was flying with that or going through customs with it. There is barely any THC in it and it does not affect the brain/mood but it is supposed to be healing and soothing for inflammation…so they say!

(C)Clr’18 Vancouver, GasTown, Hastings Street

I got in town and started walking in circles…yes, that is me. I look at Google Map on my phone and argue with it thinking I know better well, that means I go in circles and get so fed up, I give in to Google and voilà I found the place

I was a bit apprehensive since it is on Hastings Street and there is a section that is quite sketchy but this place was not that far East…phew! As I walked in, there were three clerks at the centre of the shop on a raised platform surrounded by a counter. There were so many smoking paraphernalia and most I have never seen…well, maybe in a movie! As I walked in, one clerk was lighting up a joint and then gave it to his colleague and calmly [they sure ARE calm!] asked if he could help me.

I started, “I come from very far…” and explained that I heard the MJ Pain cream was very good for joint pain. One of the clerks said he uses it regularly on his wrist and it works…I doubt it was just the cream…[wink wink]

The small jar was $45 and the larger one $100…so I took the small one. I left and looked around for a comfortable café where I could put the cream on my knees, neck and shoulder and sit and relax with an Americano and wait for the magic. I found a Starbucks on an nice corner with a terrace, so I stood in line for the washroom first. After a good fifteen minutes, I entered and put the cream on, and placed the jar on the toilet paper shelf. As I put it there, I told myself, “I had better not forget it now!.” Why the hell did I not put it in my bag straight away? I wanted to wash my hands first.

I ordered my double shot Americano and sat comfortably in an armchair and relaxed…I felt a tingling in my neck but still pain. My knees had not budged…I mean the pain did not subside even a little. My shoulders were the same but my upper arm seemed painless. Hmmm, well, maybe I need to slather this on a few times before seeing any difference.

After an hour of reading and writing on my iPad, I messaged a colleague who now works in the Vancouver office and asked if I could take her out for dinner on her hour break later. I am so glad I did. She brought me to this funky bar called The Taco Shop actually just across the street from The Cannabis Lounge…another coincidence? I was thrilled hearing the jazz music as I walked In. I was so delighted. Of course I ordered seafood burritos with guacamole and chips to start. My friend chose the local beer for me as she had a good idea on what I preferred. It was great!!

We could only eat half so we doggy bagged the rest (which I will be eating as my bedtime snack tonight) and I went to join her at the office. I wanted to show her my jar of magic potion. I looked in every section of my backpack…then she looked for me and then an image flashed before my eyes ‘Brown jar marked MJ Cream’ on the shelf above the toilet paper’. I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand out of sheer frustration! Darn!!! I forgot it there.

Then I remember the woman going into the washroom after me, I warned her that there was no more toilet paper (for which I was pleased I had carried Wet ones in my bag). I saw her later and she looked at me weird…NOW, I know why. She was probably waiting for me to ask the clerk if anyone had found a jar of cream. But I had not realized it at that time. Well, my coffee ended up costing me $55.00 (including Americano and a danish).

I was kicking shelf but then I finally let it go and figured if anyone who more pain and fell upon it, then I’m happy someone can benefit it. I know I will not order it online, having tried it, I need something stronger which I noticed they have another blend for arthritic pain. In any event, I shall discuss it with my rheumatologist before I try that again, since I am sure he has referred many of his patients to alternative pain relievers.

Walking back home away from home slowly and stopping often to take in the v

Getting back home on the sky train was fine (I double checked with a local to make sure I was taking the correct line since it was getting late and late transit is not so great outside of the city). I got at the bus stop at 10:30pm and looked on my app Transit to check the stops to make sure I got the right transfer. When I got at the stop at 11:15pm, there was no one waiting for a bus, so I asked another local and the lady was going to call the transit company not trusting my phone app. Just then the 321 transfer bus arrived, so we checked and the driver said this was the right line. The bus was a fifteen minute ride and the driver told me to just keep walking straight ahead and the road will become the street I needed to get to. WELL HE WAS WRONG!!!!

I walked onto a highway crossing and realized I could not be going in the right direction. Thank goodness the moon was so full and bright but boy was I getting frustrated, tired and after 30 minutes of turning in circles, I was getting scared. I did not meet ONE person on the streets where I was walking. This is so different than back home. My phone was losing juice quickly at 7% and often it closes down at 5%…I didn’t want to call the host of my AirBnB as I knew she turns in early (compared to me) and I wished for once that Uber existed in B C. If I would call them (like I did once in a similar situation when it got too dark in San Diego to retrace my steps) I called Lyft (similar to Uber) and they catch us on their GPS and pick us up straight away. I have to say we should have that service at least outside of major cities where transit is scarce. I could not have called a taxi, since they don’t have the GPS system Uber has. My last resort if I could no longer find the house was to call the police.

There was 1% left on my phone and it stayed on by pure miracle …yes, I said a few prayers too! And I finally got home at 12:30. I had walked 12km that day but 5km just getting home since it was supposed to be 2km!

Oh well, at least it gave me something to write to you about, Emma. Right? I took a nice hot shower when I got it to soothe every aching muscle and slept like a baby.

May 31st,

Today I woke up at 8 am but my body wouldn’t budge. I picked up my phone and finished reading an e-book, then I snoozed a bit off and on and did not get out of bed until noon. It took me a while to get moving but I took my time. And now here I am at a café

I started with a cappuccino and called my uncle in Ontario to wish him happy 90th birthday and then treated myself to a double scoop (did not realize they were so BIG) of rainbow chocolate…YUM!!

I sat inside to savour the ice cream and the music turned to Jazz which seemed to attract my muse and voilà, I just finished another post!

It is such a treat to by typing my post in front of the ocean…time to leave and sit on the shore now…one last time. Then walk the 4km back.

I picked up s few souvenirs at Whitby’, a place recommended by a grienf who used to live here in White Rock I wanted so much there but the owner said I could order online too.

I sat on the beach taking in all I could , meditating and trying to be st one with my surroundings. After half an hour I decided to walk back home slowly hopefully my to find a spot tovrst closer to my lodgings.

Unfortunately, I did not find a restaurant or fish and chip place open after nine. Boy!!! it’s a bit like Toronto was like in the early 1990’s. Ih well I guess ti each its own.

There were some other places further away from my lodgings, so I thought about the half seafood burrito I saved from last night. Phew! I also brought some good aged cheddar from Montreal. I am all set for my last night in BC.

Unpredictable Whimsical and enchanting Like Mother Nature

Unpredictable The weather In Canada

Whimsical and enchanting Getting to know A new lover

Like Mother Nature Humans influenced by the moon And the stars

(C)Tournesol’18-05-31

Daily Moments – unpredictability- May 31-18 (troibun)

Dear Emma -III – May 30-31 Vancouver (GasTown) (C) Clr’18. Inspired by the jazz playing in the cafe Dear Emma, May 30th Vancouver day trip…

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sussex-nature-lover · 4 years ago

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Friday 1st January 2021

Review of the Year Q1 January, February, March 2020. Pre Pandemic Lockdown.

Hello, I’m wishing everyone a Happy, Healthy and Safe Year Ahead. We always say that don’t we, but boy does it have so much more meaning this time.

What can I say about the year just gone that hasn’t already been said? Well, they say a picture paints a thousand words so I’m going to choose some of my own photographs to illustrate the most positive things we experienced over the strangest year of our lives - the year of the Covid-19 coronavirus world pandemic, which is still raging today (and let’s hope I don’t get to say that again)

I’m cheating at the very beginning because I’m starting off by using a photo from Christmas 2019 when we had one of our usual type of trees in the Hall.

I’d usually decorate the Hall tree in the traditional red and gold

Below is the little tree that gained promotion this year, but in pink and white, silver and gold. That was a bit fancy for me, but the Owls liked it.

It put on some healthy growth throughout the year and played host to many perching little birds, mainly Blue, Great and Marsh Tits. I had to clear off all the cobwebs and take out all the bits of twig and leaf before it could come indoors.

And there it was, pressed into service. Every year in this house we’ve had at least two trees, a 7-8′ and a 5-6′ but this year, Little Tree was upgraded to the starring role. Hoorah Little Tree, you’ve done us proud. One of the best things to enjoy about the tree is all the memories that come with the decorations collected year after year from all around the world and some dating back to my Granny’s tree, although they’re looking rather delicate these days.

You can see our fairly recent tradition of perching ‘Travis’ the Christmas Pheasant in prime position just underneath the Angel. I think he looked fab this year, you can see him a bit more clearly than on a bigger tree.

January Garden Visitors: Sparrowhawk

As for January 2020, it brought some horrid bitterly cold, wet and windy weather. We were lucky on the 10th when we drove to Ms NW tE’s house and she put on a fantastic lunch that we both really enjoyed. That was the last time we sat down close at the table with anyone else outside of our own home and ate together* Last time we dined out-out was November 2018! Those were the days. 31st January 2020 was also the last time I had my hair cut - now it’s the longest it’s been since I was about half the age I am now and it might even be longer than then and still growing.

* Ms NW tY did pop around after work for supper in February and we meant to make that a fairly regular thing, but the only other time we got to eat together was when it was allowed outdoors in the Summer - sat at opposite ends of a very, very long table. That was weird.

January: sunset

The bad wet weather had started here in late October 2019 and we were caught in flooding in Cheshire. The Fire Brigade came to pump water off the road that we were sat on for a very long time. Much worse came with horrendous floods in Venice when some of the canals became unnavigable. World weather certainly made headlines in 2020 with flooding and raging fires devastating massive areas. The National Trust wildlife report I posted talks about the effects of the weather and climate change and what they’re trying to do to combat as much as they can.

I also see that in January we’d started to hear of Wuhan and to talk about hand washing. A friend’s sister is living in China and she’d got a flight booked to visit in April. Another friend said their lockdown and travel restrictions may be lifted by then. Little did we know.

Looking back at last year’s photos, pre blog, I was surprised I caught the Green Woodpecker in February, photo taken mid morning on the 16th.

This may be one of the last PP pictures I took (PP = Pre Pandemic) and it’s all the more remarkable because Storm Dennis had hit us.

On the 17th we went shopping for a care package for Ms NW tY who was sick and home alone. Raging fever, cough, felt like she had a chest infection and limbs like lead. Similar to what I had back in November 2019. It took seven months for me to feel tip top again, so who knows what on earth we had - not Covid obviously because the medical experts say it wasn’t over here then. They also said no need to wear face masks and children were impervious...

I’ll just leave those thoughts there.

February Garden Visitors: lots of Pheasants

Meanwhile we were starting to talk about handwashing - a lot, 20 seconds minimum with soap and hot water. Sing Happy Birthday to You all the way through and keep on washing. Haven’t heard that so much in a while actually.

...and toilet rolls. Any mention of a forthcoming lockdown and panic buying prompts shortages immediately. It was toilet rolls, rice, pasta and flour. I’m sticking with my illustration of handwashing using one of my favourite soaps. Portuguese Soap, hard to beat but prohibitively expensive nowadays. We just looked at that link and whistled, drawing in our breath and sighing. I’m going to be refilling that bottle with something altogether more modest. Of course, so much more choice now for something a bit different, especially closer to home. Kent Soap. I’ve been glad this year that I ask for nice soap as a gift if anyone wants to know what I’d like and we got some for Christmas too, so that’ll keep us going.

White Hyacinths and Freesias for fragrance lifting the bleak days

The pandemic seemed to get worse and we were getting alarmed. I last went into a supermarket early mid March. Since then I’ve only been in National Trust shops, the petrol station and the pharmacy. I first wore a face mask when we took the car for its MOT, also mid March. Staff looked at me as though I was a bank robber. When we went to collect the car later the same day there was a notice on the door ‘Only two customers allowed inside at any one time’ and news was starting to spread...about health precautions, not about me.

Soon MOT tests were suspended and the country was facing a lockdown. Since then we had a time when both of our cars’ batteries died. We’ve SORN (officially declared off road) one - it’s taking us all our time to keep the other ticking over.

March Garden Visitors: hungry Rabbits at the seed trays

I started to write my Blog. At first I just used Google Sheets for seven daily scribblings and then I moved to this platform. Blog Number 1 here with the urls of the first few entries at the end. Little did I know at that stage that I’d be writing every day at least once a day and still going.

As National Lockdown got underway as well as writing we all started walking again and looking at nature and baking - boy did we all embrace baking last year. There must’ve been a country-weight of Sourdough and/or Banana Bread attempted with varying degree of success...lucky Joe Wicks came on board to get everyone up and doing a bit of keep fit, People started working from home, hosted social lives by internet, online quizzes and memes became a thing, a really big Thing. If we were lucky our food shopping was delivered straight to our door, TV cookery shows were full of advice on what you could use if you couldn’t source what you really wanted.

Just as my football team was on course for its first ever Premier League Championship win, the season had to be suspended (13th March) hoping to resume in April. It was a vain hope, but as our manager Jûrgen Klopp said, health and safety is far more important than anything else...we can wait 😉

Sport around the world, like everything else, had to be put on pause.

The situation got worse and every Thursday night at 8pm we went outdoors and clapped for our carers as they battled on trying to get to grips with this new virus and people falling sick in huge numbers. It was a whole new way of life.

To be Continued

--------------

WEATHER NEWS:

Forecasters are warning of possible further chaos, because the same conditions behind the 'Beast from the East' in 2018 - one of the worst storms to hit the UK in living memory - are forming again high up in the atmosphere.

The 'sudden stratospheric warming' (SSW) event happens when the temperature in the stratosphere soars by 50C (122F). This 'reverses' Britain's wind pattern, from the warmer west out in the Atlantic to the east – and Siberia.

It can take two weeks for the effects of a SSW to be felt. This was the case in February 2018 with the infamous Beast from the East, which saw much of the UK gripped by travel chaos and school closures amid heavy snow.

^ Not to mention Hospital closures too, which meant my operation was cancelled.

New Year’s Day Read:

The Wildlife Trust Marine Review of 2020

This report is also covered by the Daily Mail which also includes photos, video and information from other regional trusts around the country.

Decoration from the Standen Courtyard Christmas Tree

Once again some absolutely beautiful handiwork, The Tree of Life. What better message for a brand new year.

The Tree of Life symbol represents our personal development, uniqueness and individual beauty. Just as the branches of a tree strengthen and grow upwards to the sky, we too grow stronger, striving for greater knowledge, wisdom and new experiences as we move through life.

Music for New Year from the Rivertree Singers

a community choral ensemble in Greenville, SC. USA

‘Tomorrow Shall be my Dancing Day’ Let’s hope so.

youtube

#nature photography #review marine NewYear music UKwildlife

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travelingtheusa · 4 years ago

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NEW YORK

8 Sep 2020 (Tue) – We spent yesterday getting ready to move. We drove to the lawyer’s office in Port Jefferson to sign a temporary Power of Attorney for Travis. Since we won’t be here for the closing on his house, we are giving him authority to sign for us. That was debacle! First, the secretary asked for ID with a picture and our address on it. We gave her our New York driver licenses. They have our Texas mailing address on them. She said that was no good. She then instructed us to send her copies of our passports. When we got back home, I did that. She said Paul’s passport said New York but mine said New Jersey. I had to explain that there is no residential address on a passport; that the states are where we were born. She then asked for a Costco card or some other ID that had a picture and New York address on it. When we couldn’t provide any, she mumbled something about having to do a tax form for Texas. We are certainly hopeful that Travis & Sam don’t have to pay taxes to Texas!

After the lawyer’s office, we drove into Port Jefferson and had lunch at one of the many restaurants in this charming port town. The waiter gave us the menus, stated that he was the only one working today, and he would come when called. The tables were set up outside on the parking lot. There were about 6 tables he had to serve. The service was very slow but the meal was good.

We invited Caiden to come over for dinner. He enjoyed it. Unfortunately, we got a message saying my nephew’s funeral will be on Saturday. We were expecting it to take place next Saturday. We were going to camp in PA for a week, then drive to Rhode Island/Massachusetts. Now, we had to call campgrounds and move things around. Fortunately, we were able to get 5 days at a Navy campground in Newport, RI, as well as move the days we were going to PA. Whew. Otherwise, we would have lost our deposit at the PA campground.

6 Sep 2020 (Sun) – It’s been a busy week. Kenny went to the clinic and had his arm looked at. The doctor said he has a second degree burn but didn’t do anything with the injury. Just told him to keep it clean and dry.

I started physical therapy on my Achilles tendon. I went for therapy on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. They start with heat and stimulation, then I do some exercises, and it ends with ice and stimulation. They also do some ultrasound. The place is big and it kind of feels like an assembly line operation. Oh, well. I won’t be there for long.

Miranda’s car had the thermostat and rheostat replaced as well as three coils in the engine. It cost $900. Our next door neighbor, Dave, owns an auto body shop and did the work for us. We brought the car back to Miranda and Kenny and told them that’s it. No more money will be spent on that car. Dave suggested we put it in a lot, douse it in gasoline, and set it on fire. It’s basically shot.

We took Caiden and went over Susan & Bill’s house on Saturday. It was our last swim for the summer. He had a great time. We are all a little sad to see the season end. Earlier in the week, Susan and I went to West Hampton for lunch. They recently renovated the town and she wanted to look it over. It was very new looking.

After church today, we went over Travis & Sam’s. Today is Travis’ 39th birthday. We enjoyed a barbecue and ice cream cake. We gave him a storage device with all our photo albums scanned on it. Hope he likes it.

30 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning. Attendance is still sparse but the way the pews are chained off, it’s probably for the best. After church, we stopped at Bagel Boss for bagels. The deli counter had 6 people on line and the bagel line only had 1 person so I opted for the bagel line. What. A. Mistake. The girl who waited on me was so new that she had to ask another worker what a rye and garlic bagel looked like. She was sooooooo slow that everyone in the deli line not only went through but several people after where I would have been had I gotten on that line. Serves me right for being in a hurry.

After church, we drove to Travis & Sam’s, stopping at a couple of furniture stores on the way to look for new recliners. We are limited by the size of the space that the recliners would fit into. The kids are growing fast. The baby is such a happy little guy. Big smiles and laughs all the time. Paul and I picked up KFC chicken for dinner. It was a nice visit.

Miranda borrowed the truck at 7:30 to go pick Kenny up at work. Their car is not working right now. There is some kind of blockage in the cooling system. Caiden and I played a few games. When Kenny got home, Miranda changed the dressing on his arm from the scalding he took yesterday. He has a very large blister and a lot of redness on his arm. Miranda and I convinced him to go to the clinic tomorrow. He probably should have the blister drained and get put on an antibiotic.

29 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We went to church today to attend a memorial service for June Wertz, a friend of ours. Her husband, Bob, invited us to join their travel club some years ago. One of the members of their club had passed away just before the small group was going to camp out at Wildwood State Park. They invited us to take his camping spot. During the 8-10 years we camped with them, it was always on Long Island. The members were all up in years and didn’t go off-Island to camp. It was a fun group and I wish we could have known them in their younger, traveling days. At any rate, we certainly enjoyed the time we spent with Bob & June and the rest of them.

Miranda and Kenny had a serious incident yesterday. They were at KFC when they noticed smoke coming from the engine. They popped the hood, looked around, and opened the radiator cap. Both of them were scalded, Kenny pretty badly. They are monitoring his condition to determine whether his burns are bad enough to seek medical help.

28 Aug 2020 (Fri) – I drove to Ronkonkoma to visit with my cousin, Claude, today. He has been experiencing medical issues for a while now. He has gone from 220 lbs. to 175 lbs. He is looking old and sick. I fear for his well-being. I visited for about an hour then the nurse came in to see him so I left.

Paul spent the day repairing the steps to the back deck. He poured some concrete at the base a few days ago and had Caiden put his name, date, and footprint in it.

27 Aug 2020 (Thu) – I drove out to Southampton today. It was almost an hour and a half drive. When I arrived for my 10:30 a.m. appointment, the receptionist told me I was scheduled for 11:30 a.m. The dentist didn’t get me in until almost 12 noon. I was seeing him for a consultation. He is an endodontist who specializes in root canals and oral surgery. He didn’t see anything that needs immediate attention. Furthermore, he said that he conforms to the recommendations of the American Dental Association and doesn’t believe that metal in the mouth or root canals are inherently bad. He suggested that I leave everything as it is unless I am in pain. It was a disappointing consult.

I stopped at CVS to pick up my prescriptions from the dermatologist, the neurologist to get copies of the test results for my records, and at Shop Rite for some groceries. I got home in time to put everything away and turn around to make my 4:00 p.m. appointment for physical therapy. That was also a somewhat disappointing experience. I was brought in, asked a bunch of questions by someone who said she was a physical therapist, and advised that I would get some exercises to do. Today’s appointment was just heat and stimulation. An aide put the electrodes on my foot and wrapped it in a hot towel. She said the therapist would be in to turn on the stim. After 15 minutes, I flagged down a passing therapist to see if she could find the gal that was supposed to turn my stim on. After 5 minutes, she came in and said she thought the aide would turn it on. They seemed very disorganized and uncommunicative. I am scheduled for physical therapy 3 days next week. We’ll see how that goes.

When I came out of the office, I crossed the street to pick up a few things at Best Market that I didn’t get at ShopRite. It was a full day of running around. Whew!

26 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I went to the dermatologist this morning. The oncologist told me that the chemo can cause skin cancer and to get a skin exam once a year. So, here I am at my one-year check. The exam went well and I was given a clean bill of health.

At 1:50 p.m. I went to see the orthopedist that I was referred to by the podiatrist. I have an interstitial tear in the Achilles heel fiber, not the tendon. There are three ways to handle it – by physical therapy, by surgery, or by an experimental program that takes your blood, mixes platelets with it then injects it in the injury site. Insurance will not cover the cost. I opted for physical therapy. He gave me a script and I made an appointment with a nearby therapist.

We went out for dinner to Texas Roadhouse. The food was good. We forgot our leftovers. That must happen at least half the time we plan to take leftovers home. Aaaarrgh!

25 Aug 2020 (Tue) – No doctors today! I ordered dulse flakes from Amazon. Travis called to ask for help. He was turned down for a rental because a credit report stated they had been late on their last 8 mortgage payments. This is incorrect. I went on the webpage and saw that their payments were on time. Samantha called Equifax to correct the report but was told they only reported what the mortgage company gave them. She called the mortgage company and was told Equifax had to correct the record. A big, fat bureaucratic run around!

I spent a good part of the day on the phone with the mortgage company trying to get a letter that simply stated that their payments have been on time all year. The last agent I spoke with told me they are restricted in free-form correspondence because of a contract they have with USAA. They can only send certain forms. He did offer to send a transaction record that showed all payments were made. Unfortunately, it does not say the payments were on time.

In the meantime, I was trying to get an appointment with the dentist and getting a refill for Paul for a medication. I finally landed an appointment with the dentist for Monday and the doctor’s office placed the refill order directly with CVS. I did get to finish burning one box of records. Only 5 more to go!

Travis called later and told me he offered to pay one year’s rent up front and was waiting for the rental agent’s reply. He’s got a job offer and the new boss said he would look into putting the money up until Travis sold the house. If he does that, Travis better give this guy 110%. He doesn’t know Travis from a stranger on the street and is willing to put up $23,000? We will see.

Miranda and Kenny went out tonight. I offered to watch Caiden so they could have a date night out somewhere. It isn't much but I’m sure they haven’t had a chance for private time since this whole COVID-thing started. Kenny’s mother and grandmother are keeping their distance and they have no other childcare set up.

24 Aug 2020 (Mon) – We went food shopping this morning. I did laundry in the house. At 1:45 p.m., I left for an appointment with the biological dentist in Manhasset. On the way there, the office called to say the dentist was running late and to come in at 4 p.m. So I detoured and stopped at Sherry’s Market in Babylon. I wanted to pick up some barley grass juice powder and dulse flakes. They did not have the dulse. The clerk said I might find it in Wild by Nature down the road in West Islip. So I drove down John Street and into the strip mall. They had dulse granules but no flakes. Not sure if that was OK, I didn’t buy it.

Finally, it was time to stop dawdling and drive to the dentist. I got there at 3:50 p.m. and called the office to let them know I was there. They told me to come right up. I didn’t wait 10 minutes (BIG difference from last visit) and was shown into the exam room. The first dentist, Dr. Golden, popped in while Dr. Blum was reviewing my 3D scan. They discussed my case and what they recommended I do. Then they sent the money gal in. She described the procedure they would use – do a root canal on two teeth and put in ceramic posts with a bridge. Giving me a discount on the bridge, it would only cost $12,000. I could buy a frickin’ car for that much money!!! I told her I would think about it and left.

I called my sister to see if I could get in to see her biological dentist. She gave me his number but the office was closed. I’ll have to call them tomorrow.

23 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning. Everyone is still wearing masks and the pews are roped off to keep people distanced from one another. After church, we gathered up most of the stuff we have been collecting for the yard sale and brought it back to the church. They are trying to have an outdoor thrift shop sale on the front lawn. We don’t know how that’s going to work. It was all clothes they had outside and anyone shopping would lift the clothes to look at them. Now they’ve been touched. What next?

At 3 p.m. we drove to our friend’s house, Bob. He used to be my brother’s father-in-law (before they got divorced). Bob managed an A&P store in the day and he catered many parties. Any time he’s making a meal, it’s worth going. He’s a great cook. He made ribs, roast potatoes, and corn on the cob. We had a very nice visit.

22 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We gathered up Caiden and drove to my sister’s house. Susan is celebrating her 65th birthday today. As expected, Caiden never wanted to get out of the pool. Our brothers, Dennis and Chris, also came to the party. We gave Denis some old baseball cards we found in the back room during our clearing out maneuvers. He seemed to be pleased with the gift (his birthday is next week). It was a fun day.

21 Aug 2020 (Fri) – We went to the Oconee Diner for lunch then took a ride to Target to get a few things. We picked up some clothes for Caiden and ourselves. After we returned home, we spent the rest of the day cleaning out the back room. I burned more military records. Thirty-one years of military history – GONE! Up in smoke! I was surprised to see that I had every pay record I ever got during my service.

20 Aug 2020 (Thu) – It was a confusing day at the cardiologist. First, Paul went to the office for a 9 a.m. appointment only to be turned away. They said he had an appointment at 3:45 and I had one at 2:30 p.m. When he got home and told me, I stated that the office had called yesterday and confirmed the 9 a.m. time. I also had my appointment time entered in my calendar as 2:15 p.m. Just as we were perplexing over these times, the doctor’s office called to say he was called to the hospital and they had to reschedule our appointments. We managed to get us in at 11:30 and 11:45 respectively. That ensured we got in together.

The doctor was prompt and entertaining. He checked us both over. Reviewed our bloodwork and tests and declared us in good health. My cholesterol is a little elevated so he wants to see me back in 3 months. If the numbers are still up, he will put me on a drug (he thinks).

We drove over to Travis & Sam’s tonight for dinner. Turned out we had to buy the dinner (surprise!). We stopped at Chili’s and picked up 6 meals then drove to Trap’s where we enjoyed our dinner together. Travis got a job offer at a construction company in North Carolina. They will also help them to get into a rental home. It sounds very good.

19 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I went to a biological dentist today to get an assessment of all the dental work in my mouth. I have been reading several books about alternative medicine. One book by Dr. Simon Yu states that disease is the result of 4 causes. The three top causes are dental problems, heavy metals, and parasites. It was 2 hours before the dentist came in to see me and we spent an hour talking about the research and alternatives. She sent me to get a 3D x-ray to see if there are any infections in my mouth. Although there was no “pathology,” she did identify 4 incomplete root canals. She recommended I see the surgeon in the office. I made an appointment for Monday.

On the way home, I stopped by Sherry’s Market, a health food store in Babylon. It was expensive!

18 Aug 2020 (Tue) – I went to the neurologist this morning to get all the electrodes disconnected. I tried to schedule a follow up visit with the doctor but his earliest appointment is October. How do you discuss what they found with all these tests?

I drove to East Islip to the podiatrist’s office to pick up a copy of the MRI report stating I have an interstitial tear in my right foot. The receptionist offered to call the radiology office to see if I could get a copy of the MRI pictures. Then I walked over to their office and got the disk.

Paul spent the day working around the yard. I spent the day burning files. I have so many military files to burn. How in the world did I get so many in my possession???

17 Aug 2020 (Mon) – I went to the neurologist this morning and was wired up for a 24-hour EEG. They attached 23 electrodes to my head and 3 to my chest. I have to wear a machine to register brain activity for 24 hours. All this just to reassure Paul that I am OK and can go hiking in the woods again.

When I got home, Paul went food shopping. I was NOT going out with all the wires hanging off my head. When he got back, we had lunch, then went to work on getting rid of old files and boxes. I have tons of old military books and material that has to be burned. It can’t just be thrown in the garbage. I sat in front of the fire pit for 2 hours and only got through 1 box. I have 5 more to go.

Ford called to say they replaced the fuel pump on the truck and everything seems to be alright. I took the rental car, drove Paul to Sayville Ford to drop him off, drove to Islip Airport to drop off the rental car where Paul picked me up and we drove back home.

16 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We borrowed Kenny’s truck and drove to church this morning. It rained all day. We spent most of the day inside watching TV or working on the computer.

15 Aug 2020 (Sat) – Spent the day working around the property. Kenny went to work at 4 and I went into the house to watch Caiden. He came out to the camper and had dinner with us, then we went back inside and I gave him a bath. We had a pillow fight and played with his transformers. He finally went to bed at 9 p.m. I think that is too late for a 6 year old but his parents are night owls and I guess he’s becoming one also.

14 Aug 2020 (Fri) – The tech from Sayville Ford called and said the diagnostics was telling him the truck needs a fuel pump. No amount of arguing that the last service station messed something up. We finally authorized the part. Maybe they can get to it on Monday. Ugh.

Miranda’s truck was finished at 4 p.m. Turned out to be the alternator. I was going to take the rental car since we have no vehicle but I let her take the truck to Philly given the cruddy condition of her truck. We weren’t sure it would make it there and back. It really is on its last legs.

We were supposed to ride out to Indian Island to join the Long Islanders for camping this weekend. Since we don’t have the truck to pull the camper, we will miss the campout. This was very disappointing.

13 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Miranda’s car suddenly gave up the ghost today. It was clicking, wouldn’t start, and all kind of diagnostic warnings were flashing on her dashboard. She was able to drop it off at the service station. This is really bad timing because she is preparing to go to Philly this weekend to coordinate a concert for her camp. We looked around and was able to reserve a rental car just in case the car isn’t back tomorrow.

Paul and I rode our bicycles to Best Buy this afternoon. It’s been giving me trouble and there’s some kind of program on there that we didn’t load in but keeps trying to update drivers. I had them take it off. They were very understaffed and the tech wasn’t really interested in working with me on anything else. I had wanted help in getting videos off the computer. I’ll have to wait until things get back to normal.

Paul took an Uber to the cardiologist this afternoon for a stress test. They injected him with something and then put him in an MRI machine. He said it was quick and easy.

12 Aug 2020 (Wed) – It was a quiet day all around. Paul picked up the truck. Not only was it making the humming noise, but the dashboard was lighting up like a Christmas tree! Low fuel pressure! Low engine pressure! The service station told us they couldn’t find anything wrong and the noise was gone. Boy, were they wrong. Paul called Sayville Ford and we were able to get it into the service bay today. Hope they didn’t break the engine. L

11 Aug 2020 (Tue) – I went to the radiologist today for an MRI of my right foot. We worked around the property, cleaning out old files and boxes. Sent out for pizza for dinner.

10 Aug 2020 (Mon) – Paul brought the truck back to the service station this morning. They kept the truck and dropped him off back at home. At 1 p.m. I went to the doctor for an echo cardiogram. I had to borrow Miranda’s car to get there and back.

We called the service station at 3:30 p.m. The tech told us that they had to call a friend at Ford to ask about the fuel pump. The guy told them they had to replace the entire assembly, not just the fuel pump. Paul was annoyed! I think we will have to make sure in the future that (1) only Ford does the work and, (2) that the mechanic is a certified diesel mechanic. Hopefully, we will get the truck back tomorrow. They were going to send out for the item, which will cost us over $400. This is after already being charged $170 to put the fuel pump on before they broke it.

9 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning. I think it was the most people we’ve seen there since we came back. Everyone is still wearing masks and there are seats roped off. Hand sanitizer stations have been set up around the building. They announce that the thrift shop will open for 2 hours on Sunday afternoon in an outdoor setting. That means folks attending the service will be asked to help bring things outside and set up, then take it back downstairs when done. I hope it works. The thrift shop is a major revenue source for the church and it has really been hurt with the closure.

After church, we went to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina. The waitress was soooooo slow. Paul ordered Belgian waffles and they came out cold. My food was lukewarm. He sent his waffles back. The next service was also cool. Paul wound up not eating his meal. It was a disappointing experience and we probably won’t go back there for a while.

8 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We gathered up Caiden and drove to Sue & Bill’s for the day. The day started out overcast but the clouds soon cleared away and we had a delightful day in the pool.

7 Aug 2020 (Fri) – I went to the neurologist this morning. The first test was a Neurotrax. It was a cognitive test to see if I’ve had any brain damage from the TGA back in March. Following that, I had an EEG. A technician glues 23 nodes to your head and then has you sit in a chair with your eyes closed most of the time. He flashes a light on your closed eyes, then says “Open Your Eyes” for like 30 seconds then close them again. Weird.

Paul has been working hard in the yard, cleaning up after the storm. The oblivious neighbor did a stupid thing. A tree in his yard came down into our yard. It was straddling the fence with the root ball in the neighbor’s yard and the tree branches supporting the tree in our yard. The neighbor brought his chain saw out and cut the tree. No longer balanced between the tree branches and the root ball, the tree crushed our fence.

I went to the podiatrist today to check out the painful lump on my Achilles tendon. The doctor took an x-ray and said I have a bone spur that could be causing the problem. She also criticized my flip flops, saying I needed more support for my feet. She gave me some heel inserts to wear in a closed shoe. She also sent me to the radiologist to get an MRI. I made an appointment for Tuesday.

6 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Paul brought the truck to the service station to get it inspected. When he got back, he complained that he could hear a humming from the fuel pump. That happened to us once before. A non-qualified mechanic had tried to mount the fuel pump on the rail and broke it. Apparently, a certified diesel mechanic needs to do the job. Paul called and was told to bring the truck back in on Monday.

We brought Bonnie to the vet at 2 p.m. The ultrasound shows she has some abnormal liver issues. The vet wants to do a biopsy but Bonnie has to get a blood test first to see if she has a clotting factor. If so, then she can have the biopsy. If not, then we can’t do it.

5 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I had a check with the nurse at the cardiologist’s office today. They wanted to check and make sure there were no problems with the loop recorder. She said I had a bit of a reaction to the medical tape but everything looked OK. I should just let the tape fall off when it wants.

After the doctor, I brought some containers to Travis. He is now in contract on his house and beginning to pack things up. I brought him 9 containers. Then I drove to Sayville and met my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Shay, for lunch at Cornucopia. It is a kind of health food supermarket with a great deli counter where we all ordered lunch. We then sat outside to enjoy our meal. Following that, we took a walk along Main Street, looking in the shop windows. When we came upon an India shop, we went in. Susan & Bill follow the religion of Ashananda and the shop owner had been to one of their meetings out in the Hamptons. She spoke for a while with the clerks (the shop owner wasn’t there).

We went over Trap’s tonight to sign the contract for the sale of their house. Since we are listed as co-owners on the house, we have to sign the contract as well. While there, Trap dug out the chain saw for Paul.

4 August 2020 (Tue) – Things have been so busy and technology has been so challenging that I have not been able to keep up with the blog. I have an appointment with Best Buy on the 13th. Hopefully, that will get things back on the road.

Let’s see. I have been to the cardiologist and had an internal cardiac monitor (ICM) installed in my chest. It is a device that tracks heart activity and at night, when I am sleeping, it uploads the day’s activities to the doctor’s office. It’s been 5 days and the site still itches like crazy. Ugh.

I had to go to the lab and get a COVID test before getting the ICM installed. The nurse stuck a Cutip so far up my nose that my eyes teared. And I had an earache for the rest of the day. That dam thing was painful! I will not do that again.

We took Caiden to Sue & Bill’s last Wednesday. Their daughter, Shay, and her boyfriend, Pat, are up from South Carolina. We all swam and munched on delicious vegan foods. It was fun.

I went to the doctor’s office to see what is wrong with my heel. The PA saw me (the doctor was busy). He thinks I have a cyst on my Achilles tendon and referred me to a podiatrist.

Miranda was back in Pennsylvania this weekend so we watched Caiden a good part of the time when Kenny wasn’t working.

We got to visit with Travis & Sam yesterday. The baby is walking pretty good now. He’s always so happy. He immediately lights up when he sees you and waves his little hand hello. Trap got an offer on the house and we signed the contract with the realtor. He’s a little freaked out. They have now signed a contract to sell their house. They have to be out in a month. They want to move to South Carolina but neither of them has a job or a place to stay. In addition, they’re not going to be able to keep as much of the money from the sale of the house that they had counted on. The realtor gets $16,400 alone! Wow!

Today, Paul had an appointment with the dentist. This was a follow up to checkups we had two weeks ago where the dentist found a cavity. He went in to day to get it filled. Afterward, we went to WalMart to pick up a few items. Later in the day, Tropical Storm Isaias blew through. Another tree from the neighbor’s yard came down across our fence. Also, one of our trees came down and landed on the deck. It just missed the roof and back doors. This was dejavu! Same thing happened last year when we were here. Paul will have to dig out the chain saw. The entire neighborhood is digging out. Two trees went down on Saxon Avenue, the next block over, and the road was closed. Thousands of people were without power. We lost power on and off all day long but not for very long. Our neighbor a few doors down had a tree go down and take all his electrical lines with it. The fire department came and cut up the tree and pulled it out into the road.

25 July 2020 (Sat) – We went to Nicky’s on the Bay for lunch. The tables were spaced apart. Lots of them were out on the deck. All the wait staff was wearing face masks. Our waitress was very slow and unsure about herself. She might have been new. While we were eating, a waitress came running through the restaurant asking if there was a doctor, an EMT, or a nurse in the place. Apparently, something happened at the marine fuel site out on the deck. We couldn’t see what happened but an ambulance did roll up.

The cost of the meal was very high. It don’t know if it is because Nicky’s is a seasonal place and is trying to make its money during the summer or if they jacked the prices up because they can’t have as many people in the place. Either way, it was over $60 for a wrap and a sandwich. Ouch!

24 July 2020 (Fri) – Finally! A day with no doctors. Whew! Paul got up early and took the truck to WalMart to get an oil change. He said it looks like WalMart is going out of business. The shelves are all half stocked. If you stop to think about it, they get most of their products from China. The pandemic has affected shipments worldwide. In addition, the U.S. is angry with China for keeping the Coronavirus a secret and has instituted sanctions against them. WalMart must really be hurting.

After Paul got home, we went to Home Depot to get a container. One of our two batteries went bad and Paul bought two new ones. Now he wants a container to put them in to keep the area more organized. Home Depot didn’t have much of a selection at all. On the way out, we stopped by the tile area and picked out a tile to do a backsplash in the bathroom. We couldn’t decide, so we picked up three samples to see which we would like best.

When I was entering the costs into the budget, Paul discovered that WalMart charged him for the oil that he actually provided. So he got in the truck and drove back to WalMart to get his $12.47 refunded.

Miranda is teaching in Pennsylvania again this weekend. They took Caiden into Queens to stay with his grandmother. Kenny borrows his mother’s car so Miranda can take their car. I will miss Caiden.

23 July 2020 (Thu) – Today was my visit with the oncologist. It was so disheartening! My appointment was at 4:15 p.m. I checked in then after a brief wait, a tech brought me into an exam room and took my vitals. Thank goodness; no blood draw. Then I went upstairs and checked in with the receptionist. I waited about a half hour before the doctor’s admin assistant came and led me to the exam room. I sat there for another half hour before the nurse came in and went over my case. He spent a lot of time complaining about patients calling and asking for visits or pain medication when they should be going to their primary care physicians. Then he asked me who my PCP was. I felt like it was some kind of criticism. Was I supposed to be going to a different doctor?

The nurse left and it was another 20 minutes before the doctor came in wearing a face mask and a full face shield. He seemed detached and didn’t really hear my complaints. He said the medication sometimes causes blisters on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet. Was I having any of those? He also said the medication can cause AFIB and that the cardiologist should check me for that. It seems like every visit to the oncologist results in him telling me something else that can happen with this chemo therapy. He seemed preoccupied and in a hurry to get out. I felt like I got the bum’s rush. I came home and started crying. Which is kind of stupid because the CT scan shows that I am responding to the medication very well. All the lymph nodes are continuing to shrink. So what’s my problem?

22 July 2020 (Wed) – I went to the Good Sam Sleep Center this morning. I had to sit in the parking lot and call the office to tell them I was waiting. They called me when the previous patient was done. When I walked into the doctor’s office after checking in, he excused himself and began to dictate the results of his visit with the previous patient. He stated the patient’s name, the issue, and his diagnosis, all in front of me. Hasn’t he been briefed on this whole patient privacy thing? I thought that I should probably step out of the room but with the whole COVID thing, they don’t want people wandering around unsupervised. When he was done, I told him that I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 15 years. The cardiologist recommended I do a sleep study because poor sleep can affect heart function and weight. The doctor said we probably wouldn’t find anything but said he would do the study anyway. How encouraging is that???

21 July 2020 (Tue) – I went to the eye doctor today. I arrived at 9:30 a.m. When I checked in, I found my appointment was for 10:45 a.m. It looks like I made the appointment while we were in Alabama and my calendar recorded the appointment as central time, not eastern time. So the clerk sent me to sit out in my car till it was my turn or the doctor became available sooner. They called me at 9:50 to come in and brought me right to a test station where they blew air into my eye. Then she took me to an exam room where I sat for over a half hour. The doctor came in, put drops in my eyes, and said I am developing glaucoma. Come back in six months. Then he was gone. No discussion, no explanation, no anything. I complained about some eye discharge and irritation so he prescribed an ointment to put in my eye at bedtime but, again, no explanation or discussion of what the problem is. It was a very annoying visit. The doctor was very dismissive.

Paul put together a 3-minute video of upstate New York. I posted it on You Tube then contacted SMART with the link. They posted it on the website next to the description of our New York caravan.

I went in at 4 p.m. to keep an eye on Caiden while Miranda went to the store. Paul is still grousing about yesterday’s argument. I have to find a way to get him to lighten up. Ugh.

20 July 2020 (Mon) – I had a CT Scan with contrast today. I dropped off a urine sample for Sheba at the vet, then drove to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I checked in at the front desk and asked if my doctor or his nurse was available to see me. The receptionist said she would contact Dr. Rodriguez and see what he said. I then went into the imaging area and had the CT scan. That’s such a weird test. They inject an iodine based solution and it gives a flushed, very warm feeling in the back of the throat and in the crotch. It feels like I wet myself. The test isn’t very long and I was out of the machine within 10 minutes.

I returned to the front desk to see about the doctor. The receptionist said Dr. Rodriguez would change my telehealth appointment for Thursday to an in-person appointment or I could see someone in triage today. I said I would meet with the doctor on Thursday.

I got home to find Paul working around the RV. He was installing a switch for the water pump in the bathroom. The switch on the main panel stopped working some time ago and Paul installed a switch down in the basement. That has turned out to be somewhat inconvenient so he moved the switch up into the bathroom. That should work better for when we have to use the onboard tank for fresh water.

While we were outside, Paul and Miranda got into a nasty fight. That was very upsetting for me. Then we left and went over Travis’ house to help him with some projects. He has finally gotten an offer for his house and the inspector will be over on Thursday. He wants to clear up a few little things before the inspector arrives. Paul and Travis worked on repairing a leak in the kitchen sink and on the thermostat for his burner. I played with the boys then we all enjoyed a meal that Sam prepared. It was a pleasant evening.

19 July 2020 (Sun) – We didn’t think Caiden would be able to sit for an hour in church with a mask on so we didn’t go. At 11:30 a.m. we drove to the Bayside Clam Bar for brunch. Afterward, we walked along the boardwalk and looked at all the boats in the marina. There was a dog at one end that the owner let go down on a little spit of sand. Caiden climbed down and followed the dog around. We took his shoes off so he could step in the water. The dog was an older black lab and very friendly. Her name was Sandy.

After our meal and walk, we returned to the house and I watched Caiden while Paul worked around the house and yard. Kenny got home at 7:30 p.m.

18 July 2020 (Sat) – We got Caiden at 10:30 a.m. and then drove to Sue & Bill’s house in the Hamptons for a day of swimming in the pool and barbecuing. Despite the fact that I put sunscreen on Caiden twice, he still burned. So did I. His mother will never let me take him to the beach again. Aaarrgghh!

After we got back, I stayed with Caiden until his father came home at 10:30 p.m.

17 July 2020 (Fri) – We both went to the dentist today. The chairs in the office were taped off to ensure adequate spacing between patients. It only left 4 chairs to use. The secretary took our temperature and went through a checklist (like the tech did yesterday). Then we had our teeth cleaned and xrays taken. I got an excellent rating; Paul has a cavity and has to come back to get it filled.

We went over Trap’s to visit. We picked up dinner at Chili’s and brought it to the house. Travis was working on painting the counter top in the upstairs bathroom. They are trying everything they can think of to sell their house. They’ve had lots of lookers but no buyers. The real estate market is so hot today, I can’t figure out why the house hasn’t gone. His in-laws put their house on the market and the first visitor bought the house for $5,000 more than they were asking. The only stipulation was that they had to be out in 30 days.

Miranda’s cat was showing some kind of neurological issue today. It was walking against the side of cabinets like its left side was weak and it couldn’t stand by itself. Miranda contacted us while at Trap’s and asked about bringing her cat, Liath, to the vet. We hurried home to help but the vet said it was not life threatening and to wait until Monday to bring her in. Miranda was concerned because she is leaving tonight for Pennsylvania and will not be back until late Sunday. I promised to keep an eye on the cat.

16 July 2020 (Thu) – We both went to the cardiologist today. I was doing a follow-up to my “incident” in March. Paul went because he has hypertension and should be seen by a cardiologist.

When we arrived, we were met at the door by a tech who asked us a bunch of questions about where we’ve been and who we’ve been near. He took our temperature and then let us pass. We walked in and was processed by a clerk. Then we were brought back to the exam room. The PA came in, went over our medical histories, took our blood pressure, and did EKGs on both of us.

Then the doctor came in. I liked him instantly. He is young – in his late 20s/early 30s. He was upbeat and very friendly, touching elbows as a form of hello. He thinks I had a TIA and felt the neurologist was wrong to think I had a TGA. He recommended I get an EEG, an ambulatory EEG, and have a loop recorder inserted in my chest. He feels it is possible that I have atrial fibrillation (AFib) and the recorder will measure my heartbeat and send messages to the office. I would wear it for 3 or 4 years! I said I had to check that one with my oncologist.

Then it was Paul’s turn. The doctor referred him for a nuclear stress test. He also recommended that Paul resume taking the baby aspirin every day (he stopped a year ago because of a medical report that said baby aspirin didn’t help to prevent strokes.

15 July 2020 (Wed) – We worked around the RV until 11:30 a.m. then we took Sheba to the vet. It was over an hour in which the vet’s office displayed confusion and chaos. First, I called to say we were outside for our appointment. About 20 minutes later, one of the vets came out to gather information then went inside. Ten minutes later he came out to get Sheba. Again, the office was not able to get through to my phone and the vet came out to tell me to call them. I called and spoke with Dr. Thode. She took blood and gave Sheba shots. Dr. Thode also said the blood results were back for Bonnie. She has round worm and a low liver value. She prescribed medicine for the worms and recommended an ultrasound for the liver. After waiting 10 minutes, I called the office to see what was happening. They were just finishing up and would send Sheba out. The vet brought Sheba out, went over the highlights of her exam, and said the office would call to get payment. After another 15 or 20 minutes, I called to make the payment. The clerk took my card number three times because the machine wasn’t working properly. Then the vet tech came out with the paperwork. Paul asked about the medicine for Bonnie. They forgot it so she went back in to get it. She brought it out but stated they had forgotten to charge us for the medicine so I had to call again to give the credit card number. They brought the receipt out along with the stuff to get a urine sample from Sheba. We left but I got a phone call about 10 minutes later saying they forgot to charge us for the bloodwork they did on Sheba so I had to call back again and give the card number again. What a debacle!

Late this afternoon, Caiden came knocking on the door. He came in and played for a while then I made dinner for the three of us. He ate a small part of his meal but seemed to enjoy it. I brought the left overs into the house for Miranda and Kenny, or to keep and reheat for Caiden tomorrow.

14 July 2020 (Tue) – I had an appointment with the neurologist this morning. This was the same doctor that found the tumor in my mother’s brain 36 years ago. He has gotten very personable over the years. I liked him very much. He said the incident I experienced in March was most likely Transient Global Amnesia (TGA). Just to be careful, he recommended three different tests but stated that he doesn’t expect to find anything. Apparently, a TGA can happen at any time and never happen again. Or, it can happen again once or multiple times. If it happens many times then you would have to get checked for seizure activity in the brain. Luckily, I have not had any problems since that one time.

I played with Caiden a little tonight. We didn’t get much time together but it was still fun. He loves battle sequences.

13 July 2020 (Mon) – We took Bonnie to the vet this morning. She needed a refill on her flea and tick medicine. She got a checkup and a couple of shots. It was so weird. When we arrived, we called the office and were instructed to stay in the truck. After about 20 minutes, a vet tech came out. He took down Bonnie’s information and reason for her visit then went back inside. He came back about 10 minutes later and took her inside. We sat in the car until the doctor called. We discussed our concerns and what the doctor found and recommended. Five minutes later, the clerk called to get our credit card number for the bill. A whopping $950!!! After about another 15 minutes, Bonnie was brought back out to us. Then we waited ANOTHER 15 minutes for the clerk to bring out medicine and the bill. What a pain in the butt. And we will have to do it again with Sheba.

Kenny was off of work today, so Caiden stayed in the house nursing his sunburn and playing with his parents. Paul worked around the yard and I did paperwork.

12 July 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning. They just reopened after holding services digitally on You Tube and FaceBook for months. There were about 30 people in church. We had to wear our masks the entire time and still try to maintain 6’ distance from each other. They didn’t pass the collection plate. Instead, it sat in the back of the church and the minister asked everyone to drop their donation in the plate when they left.

After church, Paul and I drove to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina. We both enjoyed a salad. The day was lovely – sunny, but not too hot, with a soft, balmy breeze blowing in off the water. The sun glittering on the bay was beautiful.

When we came home, I gathered up Caiden and he and I went to Heckscher State Park. I figured the beach would be closed but we could walk along the shore, throw stones in the water, build sand castles, and wiggle our toes in the water. Boy, was I surprised to find the beach open, complete with lifeguards. There were many people on the beach and in the water but they still were all keeping a decent distance between each other. The water was so warm; like a bathtub. There was lots of wave action and a delightful breeze kept the heat away. I did not have a bathing suit so I stood on the shore with my feet in the water, getting splashed well up the legs. Caiden went in and had a great time. Unfortunately, I forgot to put sunscreen on him and he got burned. His mother yelled at me.

When we left the beach, I stopped at Carvel and got Caiden some ice cream. The perfect end to a perfect day.

11 July 2020 (Sat) – Paul worked in the yard most of the day. I entertained Caiden a good part of the day. At 4:30 pm, we went over Travis’ house. We shared a salad and pizza then spent two hours playing with Noah and Hudson. The baby is on the verge of walking. He has very good balance.

10 July 2020 (Fri) – It was an overcast day with rain on and off. Tropical Storm Fay was pummeling the Jersey coast today but we didn’t get it too badly. Paul and I went shopping at PetCo for pet food and ShopRite for some groceries. Boy. Was the grocery store crowded! And we forgot to bring our own bags so the cashier charged us for 3 bags. Glad we didn’t buy a lot.

Caiden wanted to come into the trailer so badly today but the weather was lousy and I wasn’t going to put Bonnie out. Caiden came out and we stood outside in the drizzle talking for about an hour. Later, I went into the house and we played for about 2 hours.

9 July 2020 (Thu) – We packed up and left Newburgh at 10:45 am. It took almost 4 hours to drive down to Long Island. We were surprised with all the traffic on the road. We came through the boroughs and had traffic and construction that caused us to creep along through congested spots.

Caiden was so happy to see us! He ran out and gave me a hug, then ran back to the porch to watch us park the rig in the driveway. When Paul had the RV positioned well, I had Caiden help finish the set up by pushing buttons to open the slides. After we were set up, we visited for a bit and watched him swimming in his little pool. After dinner, I took Caiden to Carvel and picked up ice cream for him and Miranda (Kenny was working and Paul and I are on a diet). We brought it back home and they enjoyed the treat out on the back deck.

8 July 2020 (Wed) – Just hung around the campground most of the day. We did run out to fuel the truck and get ready for tomorrow’s move.

7 July 2020 (Tue) – We visited with the sales manager here at the campground. We had interviewed him last year and reconfirmed the amenities and costs. The nightly fee actually went down. He also promised to coordinate a bus tour into New York City for us. He offered to pick up our order for bagels and juice and even stated he could arrange a catered meal right here in the campground.

We came back and did laundry then just hung out for the day.

6 July 2020 (Mon) – We started out for West Point but would up sidetracked to the Historic Huguenot District. It was two blocks of old stone houses built in the late 1600s/early 1700s by early French settlers. The visitor’s center was closed and none of the buildings were open. We walked up and down the street, admiring the architecture from the street.

We then continued on to the West Point Military Academy. The visitor’s center was closed, as well as the tour operations office. There was no one to ask anything of. The day was a loss in that regard.

5 July 2020 (Sun) – We drove over to the Mohonk Mountain House today. Thought we’d check them out for the farewell dinner and then take a hike around the area. Unfortunately, they now have a gatehouse to control access to the place. They have us a brochure to look at and a telephone number to call but wouldn’t let us go in.

Then we drove by another restaurant but they were closed. No signs on the door. We couldn’t tell if they were just closed or if they had gone out of business. Cross them off the list.

We made a quick stop at the grocery store so Paul could pick up milk for his coffee then returned to the campground. We got to enjoy another campfire tonight. Two in a row. Wow.!

We drove into Newburgh and took a stroll on the Walkway Over the Hudson. It was an old railroad trestle over the Hudson River built back in the late 1800s. It was repurposed into a level concrete walkway that stretched for more than a mile and a third. We walked out to the middle, took a selfie, and walked back. The day was lovely. There were lots of people on the bridge – strolling, biking, walking the dog. Almost everyone obeyed the signs and wore a mask. Some people didn’t. It was very warm and my mask was wet from sweat by the time we finished our walk. It was a good time.

We drove to the FDR National Historic Site to look over the presidential library and home. The visitor’s center was closed.

4 July 2020 (Sat) – We were going to drive to the Mohonk Mountain House today but stayed in the campground instead. We had a small BBQ and sat before a delightful campfire. The campground is pretty full with lots of kids. Bonnie is barking at bicycles, skaters, and walkers. The staff came by yesterday passing out flyers about the pool. It was going to be open today from 10 to 4. They were having people sign up for a one-hour block of time. The pool is limited to 25 people but they were thinking they wouldn’t be able to do that and still have people maintain their distance. We didn’t sign up. It seemed better to leave the time slots to the kids. Normally, they would spend the whole day in the pool. This is like a tease. But I suppose it’s better than nothing.

3 July 2020 (Fri) – Things have been quiet. We have been running around trying to line up restaurants for the caravan next year. We are now at the KOA in Newburgh for a week.

30 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We pulled stakes at 9:25 am. It was a white knuckle exercise in getting out of our site. Paul had to ask the guy behind us to move then he backed up the RV to get out. Trees and other RVs and yard “stuff” in the area made it impossible to pull out from our pull-through site. Paul did it perfectly! He is so good in moving our big monster. It’s almost like it’s an extension of his physical being. Just imagine maneuvering 54’ of truck and trailer. I can’t do it!

We arrived at Shadowbrook RV Resort at a little past 11:30 am (it was a very short drive). This campground only has 18 campsites for transients. Again, we’ve been undone by the seasonal campers. After set up, we drove to four separate campgrounds and all gave the same answer – no room at the inn! The last campground we stopped at recommended the KOA up on Route 20. We’ll try them tomorrow.

We drove by the National Baseball Hall of Fame. They are on a limited opening. I left a business card and someone will call me back. I also sent emails to the tour director for the NY Capitol in Albany and the USS Slater. Communications continue with other venues as well.

29 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to another campground this morning to check it out. It turned out to only have 4 available campsites for transients. The rest are filled with seasonals. Too bad. It was a really nice campground right on Saratoga Lake.

On the way back to the campground, we refueled for tomorrow’s trip and picked up chicken and water. Bonnie has diarrhea again. It just seems to be something that she’s going to go through on a regular basis no matter what we give her.

28 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We left Ticonderoga at 9:20 a.m. It rained a little in the three hours it took us to arrive at Adventure Bound RV Resorts & Campground. The campsite we got was very tight while Paul had to maneuver around a parked van, trees, and lawn decorations. This campground, although very large (over 300 campsites), would not suit our group and many campers are seasonal. The RV next to us hasn’t been moved in years.

As soon as we were set up, we headed out. First stop was at Chili’s for lunch. We both had a grilled chicken salad. Tummies full, we drove to four different campgrounds. Two wouldn’t fit the group, one had no one in the office, and the other took our phone number to give to the owner. It was not a very productive day. Hope things get better tomorrow.

On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Hannaford to pick up groceries. It was a nice supermarket. Why can’t we get any of these grocery stores on Long Island?

27 Jun 2020 (Sat) – It was a light day. We just hung out around the campground today. I made some calls and updated the files on what we’ve collected so far. The poor wifi service here is maddening! Even the cell service is poor. I’m glad we won’t be staying here as a group but I worry the other campground might be just as bad. After all, we are now in the mountains.

26 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We drove into Lake Placid today. It is a small town. The Olympics Museum was closed. We decided to have the group explore the museum then go out about the town on their own. There is a lot to see in this little tourist town.

We then drove to Whiteface Mountain. We wanted to drive up the Veterans Memorial Highway to the peak. Unfortunately, it was $25 per car to drive up. I thought that was too much money to go up there and find everything closed (not that there is that much up there to see other than the view). We turned around and left.

Right next to the entrance for Whiteface Mountain is Santa’s North Pole Workshop. We came up here twice with the kids when they were little. The workshop is still there with the post office that will send off a letter or postcard with the North Pole return address. The park was also closed.

We drove to Ausable Chasm, the Grand Canyon of the Adirondacks. It was beautiful. We spoke with the sales manager and got information on a walking tour, float trip, and lunch at the center. It will be a nice touch for the group. Up the hill right next to the chasm center is the Underground RR Museum. It is in a beautiful old stone building. It was closed but a woman stepped out of the building to speak with us. The cost to explore the museum is free and the place is very small. Guess we’ll have the group break up into smaller groups to tour the museum.

We also checked out two other campgrounds. The KOA seems like the best option at this point. It would have been nice to stay at the North Pole Hundred Acre Woods Campground but they don’t take groups of more than six rigs. Oh, pooh!

After we got back to the campground, we did the laundry.

25 Jun 2020 (Thu) – Well, we learned today why a scouting trip is so important. We left 1000 Islands CG and headed out to Ticonderoga, 170 miles away. The GPS in the truck tried to route us though Canada. It would have added 100 miles to our trip! Instead, we followed the route on my phone. The trip went through Adirondack Park. We saw mountains but the elevation never got much over 2,000’. The roads were narrow and winding and the driving was slow but we got here safe and sound. The scenery is beautiful with occasional glimpses of the lakes and rivers beside the road.

It turns out that this campground does not have enough campsites for our group – they are mostly for seasonal campers. Paul went through a list and found an alternative campground. In fact, he changed two campgrounds for one and we now have another stop on our itinerary.

After set up, we drove to Brookwood RV Resort and interviewed the owner for a possible stay there. They are a very popular campground and she suggested we get our reservations in ASAP. The only thing we don’t like is that we wouldn’t all be together. Everyone would be spread around the campground.

We drove down the road to another campground owned by the U.S. Forest Service but it was closed. We then drove into the town of Ticonderoga. The Star Trek Museum and Fort Ticonderoga were both closed due to the pandemic. We walked into a luncheonette across the street from the Star Trek Museum to see about a lunch for the group. Our group could go to the museum at 10, go to lunch at 11 (it’s a little early but that’s what they want), then take a tour of the fort. The other option is to wait on lunch until 2 pm, which is kind of late. I don’t like either option.

As we were driving around, we spotted an old stone chapel in a graveyard. We parked and went in to explore it. It reminded me of the Viking church on display in DisneyWorld.

24 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We drove over to Alexandria Bay this morning. We stopped at U.S. Boat Tours which I had emailed to ask about a tour of the Singer and Boldt Castles. We checked at the window to find out what time the shuttles and tours ran. After getting the times, we decided to have the group go to the Boldt Castle at 10 a.m., come back to town, wander the shops, and have lunch. At 2 p.m., we’ll have everyone come back and take the tour to the Singer Castle.

Afterward, we drove around the area, checking out different places. We also drove over to Wellesly Island and looked at the state parks and golf courses there. We also stopped by the ice cream shoppe in front of the campground to find out about an ice cream social. They sell 3-gallon containers of ice cream for $45. The lady suggested butter pecan as an older person’s favorite flavor.

23 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We packed up and left Stow at 9:15 a.m. The drive was easy but took almost 4 hours. When we arrived, the office was closed (we had checked in online), and a note on the door told campers to proceed to their assigned site. After set up, we left a message for the campground manager asking for a meeting.

We drove to Clayton where Main Street was under construction and closed to traffic. We had seen a delightful hotel with a restaurant years ago that boasted the original Thousand Islands dressing had been invented there. Unfortunately, the restaurant went out of business. We spoke with a manager at Bella’s. The restaurant was pleasant but she said they did not want to have a large group in to dine during their peak season. She preferred to cater a meal of assorted wraps, salads and desert and suggested we eat at the Antique Boating Museum.

We drove past both the Thousand Islands Museum and the Antique Boating Museum. They were both closed. I sent emails asking about admission and meals. This is becoming very frustrating. Many of the businesses that I have sent emails to have not answered.

When we got back to the campground, we met with the campground camp host. Whe was very chatty and gave us lots of information about the area. I have to follow up with an email so she can share it with the owner.

22 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to Seneca Falls today, noting the mileage to various areas along the way. Everything we wanted to see was closed. The National Women’s Hall of Fame, although the name was displayed on the front of the building on Main Street, is no longer there. A woman in the visitor center told us it was relocated to a mill across the bridge but the coronavirus had stopped the set-up and opening of the center in its new location. We drove over and saw that it will be 3 stories high and promises to be a good stop. There is also a National Women’s Rights Museum on Main Street and a couple of houses around Seneca Falls that people could tour if they wanted.

Waterloo, birthplace of Memorial Day, is next to Seneca Falls. There is an American Civil War Museum and memorial graveyard in town. I think it would be appropriate to include it in our itinerary but Paul thinks it is too much. If so, we will certainly have to suggest it as a stop on their own.

We stopped at Ventosa Vineyards to see about a group lunch after the Seneca Falls tour. There is a lovely deck area outside overlooking the lake. The woman we spoke with suggested we send an email to the catering manager.

We then stopped at Belhurst Castle. They have a very attractive stone room with an intimate setting for lunch that also looks out at the lake. The man we spoke with gave us a menu and suggested we coordinate with the catering manager. I sent emails out to both managers.

21 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We packed up and left Bath at 9:50 a.m. It was only 95 miles to Red’s Twilight on the Erie RV Resort in Macedon, near Rochester. We arrived about noon. The office was closed. Our registration packet was sitting on a table. As we were preparing to drive to our campsite, the owner pulled up and led us to our place. She was very friendly and gladly agreed to meet with us later.

After set up, we cased the campground while walking the dog (it was too hot to let Sheba out – 90 degrees!) then went to the office and sat down with Barb. She said they would give us 10 percent off for military discount. We were all sitting around the table with our masks on and it got very hot. I was sweating like crazy. I sure was glad when the meeting was over.

We drove into Rochester to the George Eastman Museum. It was closed. We then drove to The Strong Museum of Play. That was also closed. It is a very large museum and looks like it will be fun. We then drove to a restaurant recommended by Barb. It was too far from The Strong to have people walk to it so we will have lunch in the museum then explore the museum. There is a restaurant inside.

On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Wegmans Supermarket. What a huge store! It had to be the largest supermarket we’ve ever been in. And it was neat and clean and attractive. Everyone in the store was wearing a mask and the staff was actively wiping things down and making sure everything was sanitized.

20 Jun 2020 (Sat) – We drove to the Finger Lakes Boating Museum to meet the Administration Assistant and see the wine cellar where they host catered meals. It is a lovely room and we are sure the group would like it. We would probably have the tour of the museum first (there are 3 floors in the museum) then go to the bottom floor for a lunch.

After meeting with Nancy Wightman, we drove back to the KOA to meet with the Office Manager. We sat outside at a picnic table, all in our masks, and discussed what they could offer the caravan next year. Elaine is pregnant and will be out on maternity leave for a while. This could cause a problem with coordination but we will see how it shakes out.

While driving out and about, we stopped at a nearby fish hatchery. It was closed but they had an observation pool with three kinds of trout in it – brown trout, brook trout, and rainbow trout. What is weird is that the brook trout is the only native species to the area, yet the hatchery doesn’t raise them – only the other two species.

We drove around to check out some other places. There is a VA Center and National Cemetery a couple of miles down the road. We rode around the cemetery looking at the gravestones. We also gathered information about other services in the area – RV dealers, hospital, clinic, vets, foodstore, etc.

We had a campfire tonight. There is nothing more intoxicating that the smell of a campfire.

19 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We packed up and left Chautauqua at 9:30. The weather was good and the drive was pleasant. We arrived at the Bath-Hammondsport KOA around noon. They had sent an email asking us to pre-register/check-in. I did that. When we arrived, Paul stayed in the truck while I went in. The clerk confirmed our information and gave us our map and paperwork. This is a lovely campground. We have been here before and am sure the caravan will enjoy the place.

We drove around town, trying to find a restaurant to have a welcome dinner in. The three restaurants we chose were all too small and two of them were still closed. The thirde, the Stone Timber Inn, does catering. We took the chef’s card and left. On the way back to the campground, we stopped at an American Legion post and took a look at their hall. We asked about renting the hall and the bartender gave us the rental agent’s phone number along with the commander’s number.

The campground is working hard to ensure people are having a good time, despite the spacing restriction from the coronavirus. They delivered a packet to make s’mores with. Folks were invited to make s’mores and post pictures on the facebook page. They also gave us free firewood. It made a delightful fire. They also had a cornhole contest where people who had the game in their rig wee encouraged to play and report their results.

18 Jun 2020 (Thu) – We went to the office at 9:30 a.m. to speak with the campground owner. The doors were locked. Some guy came out in to the hall, looked at us at the door then went back into his office. How rude! I then called the office and the owner answered. We sat at the table outside on the deck and interviewed the guy about the facilities and what he would do for the group. Satisfied, we told him we would send a check and wanted to leave him a book. He said he was in his office. When we told him the door was locked, he laughed and said he forgot to open it then stepped out and took the book.

We drove 20 minutes to the Grape Discovery Center to see what it looked like. It was closed. We parked and walked around, peeking in the windows. It looks like it would be a nice experience for our group next year, so we will include it in the itinerary.

We found a laundromat in a house (ah, country life). We put the clothes in the washer then drove to a Mazza’s Winery and had a flight of wines. Then we returned to the laundromat house and put the clothes in the dryer. We walked around the town of Mayville while our clothes tumbled.

After we collected the clothes, we drove to Jamestown to check out the Lucy-Desi Museum and the National Comedy Center. Unfortunately, they, too, were both closed because of the pandemic. This situation is going to make it hard to develop a budget for the caravan.

Paul located a WalMart and we did some food shopping. We are starting a diet and needed to pick up all the right kinds of foods. I just planned 4 days and the frig is chocked full. I will not be able to shop a week at a time, that’s for sure.

The check-in time for this campground is 6 p.m. (check-out is 5 p.m.). We’ve never seen such a late time for check-in. We asked if the owner would put that aside for us when our group comes next year.

17 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We left Marblehead, Ohio, at 8:20 a.m. It was a long drive today so we left early. The drive was over 4 hours and took us along the lakeshore of Lake Erie, through Pennsylvania and into New York. The campground looks like it was a KOA at one time. Our campsite is a pull through with a concrete surface. The campground is on Chautauqua Lake. The pool, the store, and all group centered places are closed due to the pandemic. You have to wear a mask in the office.

After set up, we drove into Mayville to meet with the operations manager of the Chautauqua Belle paddlewheeler. He was a young man who seemed to be coordinating a group tour for the first time. We went over is suggested schedule and agreed on an itinerary. He will draw up a contract and send it to us.

Then we drove down the road to the Chautauqua Institution. It is one of the stops on the itinerary Mike put together and we wanted to look at it. It’s not very clear why we should take a tour of the place. It seems like a private community with very lovely homes on the lake. The roads are very narrow and seem to wind aimlessly around the neighborhood. There is a beautiful old hotel where he suggested we have lunch. We wanted to get some information about the place but the visitor’s center was closed. I’ll have to send an email.

We drove to Jamestown and picked up food at Pet Smart. Then Paul drove up the other side of the lake to the center where the interstate crossed the lake. We got back to the campground at 5 p.m.

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