#happy birthday alana I love you very very very much

[simthorium]

“Yes!!! All A’s!” Alana shouted when she hopped off the school bus. “Yes!!! A promotion!” Caleb said after he got out of his carpool. The two looked at each other and high-fived. “Best day ever!” they said at the same time.

It was finally time for Alana to grow up into a teenager and she couldn’t be happier! Life was so much more exciting once you were bigger, according to her older cousins. Plus, she’d be able to finally explore downtown on her own with a much later curfew. She danced with her dad in the kitchen, Caleb trying on his new suits for his first day as a foreman.

Caleb and her stepmother Christy set up Alana’s cake and candles, standing back to let her make a wish and blow. “Happy birthday, sweetie!” Caleb called as the two cheered.

Alana grew up into a very cute teenager, and she was thrilled! Being a kid was fun, but being a teen opened up a whole new world.

“I’ve been thinking, guys,” Alana said as the family sat down for dinner and cake. “Uh oh,” Caleb said jokingly. “Hear me out,” she began. “I love living in this house, but I feel like with me being a teenager and Aaron growing up soon, it might be crowded in here. Dad, you never park your truck in the garage, so what if we turned that into a bedroom space for me?” Christy quickly looked at Caleb, who was trying his hardest not to break. She shook her head, but it was too late. “We already did it for you!” he exclaimed, unable to hold it in. “What!?” Alana said, thrilled. “Caleb, it was supposed to be a surprise!” Christy said. “I know, I just couldn’t help it!” he said.

Alana couldn’t believe her eyes as she walked into her new bedroom. The place was totally decked out in video game posters and cool lights. The cold garage floor was covered up with a variety of rugs, and there was even a plush couch across from her own tv with games! Alana changed into more comfortable clothes and a hairstyle that fit her vibe better, and she finally truly felt at home.

[meltbuns]

to my dearest one, alana.

oh, hi? happiest birthday to you, thank you for being alana and the loveliest person i’ve ever met. at that time since the day we met and fallin love with you, i know that you are a very good person who must protect indeed. you know what? ‘cause you are a such an angel, i don’t even joking. hey, thank you for being born and i was so much thank to your mom because of her you can be here with me. spending the time with you is such a very good things, i really enjoyed it. i am so sorry ‘cause i’ve annoyed you a lot, i’m not that good in a words but i bet you know that i love you so much, no? alana, you are my dearest one please be happy and don’t be sad more often in a day because you deserves to be happy. i won’t ever leave you alone, so you can keep bothering me if you feels so sad or something, perhaps i will not much helping you to be happy but i can make you smile even just awhile. alana, you are my girl, my girlfriend, my best friend, my lovely, my everything, i love you and i meant it. once again, happiest birthday our princess.

sincerely, your ann. 💗

[the-reason-to-sail-home]

Captain Charming Enchanted Forest AU

When the pirate captain kneels before them, head bent toward the ground, David strains to see the man’s face. Clenching his jaw, the seaman lets untrusting eyes fall upon David. The prince gasps. He knows this dreaded pirate that’s sentenced to death for his crimes. 

He knows him from his earliest memories as a boy, when the pirate’s name wasn’t Captain Hook, but Killian Jones. David remembers days where Killian was just a loyal kitchen lad, who hid away to play with him when the work was done. 

It’s more too. This pirate holds the face of the man who stole David’s first kiss,  the man who taught him the art of physical affection in the quiet, dark shadows of the garden. Under a moon curved like this pirate’s hook, David had learned the gift of intimacy and the courage to say “I love you.” 

David’s father, the king, is about to bellow the man’s death sentence,  one fitting and proper for the crimes committed. And that’s when the prince is overwhelmed by feelings thought to be lost long ago, and makes a small, honest plea. 

“Please give him pardon, father.” Killian’s head shoots up to stare in shock at his first lover. “There’s still light in him.” 

Happy birthday to @hencethebravery! 

[darling-i-read-it]

Pendent

Hannibal Lecter x reader

Word Count: 1.4k 

Warnings: prison 

Author’s Note: I hope you like this dear! It’s always nice to write for Hannibal, he’s such an elegant character and everything he says is so fun 

Requested: by @lzzygeekk, Hi!! I just see that you still take request , so can I have Hannibal x reader.  the reader visit Hannibal in prison when she remember in tender side or so specific memory. Maybe Hannibal made a quote from Chilton book know the she married the Chesapeake reaper. With the prompt that in found : " you give out pieces of yourself to people but never let them see the whole picture. I see it and I know who you are" ❤️❤️

Summary: the request 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Your home seemed so big without Hannibal. You thought about it all the time, his absence. When you made dinner you would stand in front of the fridge for far too long, knowing that when you married Hannibal you thought you would never have to make a meal in your life. You wanted to bring food to him but Alana didn’t allow anyone to do that. You could see him but no gift giving.

Not even on his birthday. You had a stack of presents in a corner, waiting for the day he would come back home again. 

You leaned against the kitchen counter, eating a cup of pudding. You weren’t really focusing on eating. Your thoughts were wandering. You had on a record of one of Hannibals’ old classical vinyls. You started to sway as you sat, closing your eyes and imagining what he would be doing if he was there. 

He would likely chastise you for eating a pudding cup when you could have a full meal. Then again, he was feeding you people. 

At the memory of that your eyes snapped open and you took a deep breath, shaking your head. You put the pudding cup down beside you and slid off the counter. You had the dining room windows open, causing a chill to go down your spine at the cold.

The phone rang. 

You jumped but then briskly walked over to the phone and picked it up. You stood up straight, just as Hannibal would have. You didn’t really think about it as you did it. Perhaps you were just subconsciously trying to have him here in other ways. 

“Hello?” you said. Your voice cracked a bit. You realized then you hadn’t spoken in hours. 

“Hello, Y/N?” Alana said in her professional voice. The two of you had been friends before Hannibal went to prison but when you wouldn’t divorce him she started to drift away from you. 

“Yes. Is everything alright?” You looked down at your hand, messing with your wedding ring. 

“Yes everything is fine. Hannibal was asking to see you. He says that it’s your birthday today. Happy birthday.” You looked over at the calendar that was hanging up. It was your birthday. How could you have forgotten? You rubbed your eyes. 

“Yeah uh, I’ll be there soon.” You hung up the phone and walked to go and get your coat. 

====

You walked up to the behavioral hospital. Your shoes hit the stone as you walked up the stairs, holding your bag close to your side. You walked up to Alana’s office and she was sitting at her desk waiting. 

She stood up at the sight of you, a polite tight smile on her face. You gave her a soft nod. She gestured to the door, grabbing her keys off of the desk. 

“Shall we?” You nodded.

“We shall.” 

She led you down the familiar hallway. The hallway that had become your constant companion when you went to see your husband. 

She unlocked the door that led to his cell. She gestured for you to go in and you did. She closed the door behind you, not following. Hannibal stood up from his desk. You noted that Alana hadn’t taken away any of his things this week. 

He walked over to the glass. 

“Happy birthday my darling,” he said with a gentle smile on his face. You smiled back at him and eased in his presence. It was so nice to be with him. If only Alana let you in the cage. You pulled up a chair and he did as well so you were sitting as close to each other as you could get.

“I forgot it was today. I thought it was tomorrow,” you said honestly, laughing a bit. 

“You did have a tendency to forget the date.”

“Clearly I still do,” you joked. He pulled something from his small pocket and put it in the sliding glass container. He pushed it toward you. You opened it up a small box. Inside was a tiny necklace with a golden heart pendant. “How did you get a hold of this?” You meant for it to sound joking but it came out in awe.

“I have my ways.”

“I have your stack of presents still in the corner of the bedroom,” you said, taking the necklace out. “It’s beautiful Hannibal. Thank you so much.” 

“It reminded me of our honeymoon in Florence. I had Alana to get it for me. Do you remember the beautiful pendants they had on the street we stayed in?” You laughed a tad, reminiscing on the moment. 

“Of course! I wanted to stay at your family's estate but you insisted we didn’t.”

“I didn’t want to be reminded about such sad things on such a happy occasion with you.” You thought about that trip. It truly had been magical. Hannibal knew all of the places to go and see and he was beaming the whole trip. If you thought it wasn’t possible to love him any more, that trip proved you wrong. 

“Oh do you remember that street performer? The singer?” He nodded fondly. 

“He sang one of my favorite songs. What luck that was. We were filled with luck on that trip,” he said. 

“If you’re referencing the four leaf clover I found then you’re very right, we were filled with luck,” you said laughing. Hannibal watched as your face moved and smiled with adoration. He wished he could touch your cheek, kiss your chin, run his fingers through your hair. “It was only fitting to have such a wonderful honeymoon after a wonderful wedding.” 

He didn’t want to bring it up at first. He didn’t think it was necessary but he said it anyway. 

“I believe Frederick Chilton said something similar.” You scoffed.

“Chilton said ‘It was only fitting to have a crazy wife to accompany her undiagnosed husband’. In reference to eating the food by the way. I thought the food tasted amazing, perhaps I am crazy.” He smiled slightly.

“You liked the way I prepared it.”

“Everytime. You know I had a pudding cup for lunch today?”

“On your birthday? Goodness gracious,” he said, shaking his head disapprovingly. “I’ll break out just to make you a decent meal and then I’ll come right back.”

“I wouldn’t let you come back.” His face fell a tad. The fact that he was gone clearly had an effect on you. He wasn’t surprised about that but it pained him to see nevertheless. 

“You’re not crazy. There’s not one thing Chilton got right in that book.” You nodded.

“Because you give out pieces of yourself to people but never let them see the whole picture. Chilton is not an exception. He got the psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter and a little bit of the cannibal but not nearly enough.”

“Do you see me?” 

“Of course I see you. I know who you are.” He smiled and put his hand on the glass. You put your fingers up against his, just an inch of glass between the two of you. That inch proved to always be a nuisance. 

“Happy birthday my love,” he said again. 

“Thank you Hannibal.”

Alana watched and listened from the cameras. She felt a pang of guilt seeing your hands almost touch. She was tempted to open the door herself but knew better. He may not kill you but he would not hesitate to kill Alana. It was a promise he likely intended to keep.

[shegatsby]

Whisper of Evil

Hannibal Lecter x Reader Request; 

Hi! If you don’t mind I had another idea for a HannibalxReader story. Hannibal had raised an infant like his daughter and trained her in the fine arts of culinary and killing as soon as she was 18. He’s seen her grow up into a young talented woman, blending into the society as his adoptive daughter. Maybe she was gifted on her 20th birthday with her very own victim from Hannibal. Killing him without his help. Hannibal watched her, notices how hot she is and hello to the smut 🤤 Thank you 🥺🥰 @negans-attagirl​

Warnings: Smut, IM TALKING WAP WAP WAP :D Age gap, Murder

A/N: I’ve changed the request a little. Enjoy. Sorry for any typos.

It was Y/N’s 20th birthday, and for her birthday Hannibal Lecter decided to throw the most luxurious birthday dinner party, ‘’Why didn’t we settled on a small party Hannibal?’’ Y/N came down the stairs in a beautiful gown, ‘’Because this year is special for both of us and I’ll do anything for you princess.’’ He watched her go down the stairs she had a long satin, lilac dress. She had makeup on and her signature red lips were glowing, yes she was a grown woman now and he knew that his guests would love to eat her up, this thought made him uneasy. ‘’You look divine Y/N.’’ He tried to sound casual but his thoughts were dark and twisted, ‘’Excuse me.’’ He went to open the door for his guests.

Servants were pouring champagne and any kind of wine, everyone wished her a happy birthday and told her how beautiful she looked, her close friends like Jack, Alana, Bedelia and Will gave her presents but her mind was somewhere else, Hannibal promised her a kill, it was going to be special because this time he was only planning to give her the name of the person and leave the rest to her, he wasn’t going to help her with anything. She hid her excitement and told them how much she liked the gifts. She remembered her 18th birthday, Hannibal took her to the basement and showed her his work of art and told her not to be afraid but she wasn’t afraid, in fact she was thrilled to see that. 

Throughout the night they ate and talked, she was a well educated young woman and Hannibal did a good job on guiding her for years, she could talk about any novel and art subject, she could speak French, German and Russian (Hannibal though her those) and all men had their eyes on her which made Hannibal uncomfortable. 

Deep down he knew why he was uncomfortable but he didn’t want to admit it, he put a hand on her waist and pulled her closer, she feel the warmth radiating from his body, she could smell his manly cologne, it smelled like pine trees.Later the guests wanted her to play the harpsichord (again Hannibal thought her how to play that) and she entertained them with the swift and vivid tunes, she liked the way they admired her and just like Hannibal she loved being the center of attention.

‘’Well done Miss, your fingers are magic.’’ A young man approached to her, ‘’Thank you Sir.’’

He extended his hand, ‘’Vincent Van Damme, pleasure to meet you.’’ And he kissed the back of her hand, ‘’Y/N Y/L/N Lecter, the pleasure is all mine.’’ She heard the Van Damme family before and they came from old money, probably have few skeletons in their closets. ‘’Lecter?’’ Vincent was confused, ‘’Hannibal Lecter took me under his wings when my parents passed away, I alos use his surname too, especially when I want to be invited to a party.’’ And she winked at him, it made him laugh which caught Hannibal’s attention. She knew what she was doing, she was flirting with him to get Hannibal’s attention, because for  months Hannibal was distant and she had a theory about that and wanted to prove it. 

‘’I’ve met Doctor Lecter few years ago,’’ and he started to tell her how they met, honestly she couldn’t care less, it was obvious that he wanted to sleep with her and was flirting with her she scanned the room with her tired eyes and found Hannibal’s dark eyes on her. Dark brown eyes… eyes that could make one scream in fear.

She touched Vincent’s arm gently, she was using psychological tricks from Hannibal’s weekly medical journals, Vincent looked happy. 

Hannibal Lecter was trying to stay calm and he finished his drink quickly, ‘’You should slow down Hannibal.’’ Will said laughing, ‘’Excuse me for a moment.’’ He left them and walked towards Y/N and Vincent. ‘’Good evening.’’ He greeted Vincent, ‘’Hannibal, thank you for inviting me. The food was amazing, as always.’’ Hannibal put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder and squeezed hard, she didn’t flinch. 

‘’Thank you Vincent, where is your wife?’’ He asked abruptly and pointed his ring finger which had no ring but the mark was still there. 

The tension between them sent shivers to her private part, it was a damn good show to see Hannibal on alpha mode. 

‘’She couldn’t make it… the kids and all that…’’ He was embarrassed,‘’That’s what I thought. Y/N follow me please.’’  

And he held her hand and pulled her away from Vincent, she was giggling when they arrived upstairs bedroom.

‘’What is wrong with you? Is it the alcohol in your system that makes you behave like this? Please explain yourself.’’ He wasn’t yelling but when it comes to Hannibal he didn’t have to yell to make someone scared and dizzy. ‘’Nothing is wrong with me Hannibal. I.. I just wanted to flirt a little, I’m 20 years old you know that right?!’’ She crossed her arms and it gave her breasts a little push, Hannibal for a split second looked at her breasts and looked away, and that was the answer to her theory, he liked her.. very much. ‘’Do you want to know your gift’s name?’’ He changed the subject and was glad to see the shine in her Y/E/C eyes. He pulled out a business card from his pocket, gave it to her and left. She almost forgot to breathe, on the card it said 

‘’Vincent Van Damme.’’

3 days later

It was late night and Y/N was at the winter cabin of Mr. Van Damme, ‘’Thank you for coming here with me Y/N.’’ he poured a glass of white wine for them, ‘’I should thank you for inviting me here, it is a beautiful place.. and has the gorgeous view.’’ She pointed the big window which had no curtains and she knew Hannibal was watching them. Her hands were shaking because she really didn’t want to fail him.

They cheered and drank, the fact that Vincent knows nothing about what’s going to happen to him made her body filled with adrenalin. ‘’Vincent darling, can you get me a blanket. I’m cold.’’ She looked at him with loving eyes and made her tone little bit seductive and Vincent went upstairs to fulfill his task.

She was good at Herbology and she made specific poison for Vincent and named it ‘’Dolosus’’ it meant cheater in latin. She applied it on her lips, it looked like a shiny gloss and she exactly had 2 minutes to wipe it off or otherwise she would be dead.

‘’Here is your blanket love.’’ She wanted to vomit.

Vincent noticed the so called lip gloss, ‘’Looks tasty.’’ Vincent had a wicked smile, his blue eyes on her lips. ‘’Wanna try?’’

He pulled her for a kiss, it was long when they parted his lips were blue. She pulled out a napkin and wiped the poison off of her lips. She got up to wash her mouth and when she came back she was him on the ground trying to breathe, ‘’W- whatss happening to mee?’’ he managed to say. ‘’That’s what you get when you cheat on your wife, love.’’

Hannibal knocked on the door and Y/N let him in, he was smiling when he was Vincent on the ground.

‘’I loved your technique darling but..’’ he turned to face her, her cheeks were flushed. ‘’You just ruined our food.’’ And they both laughed together. She touched her arm while laughing and left his hand on her hand, his hand was warm. When they stopped Hannibal cupped her cheek, ‘’Well done Y/N, I’m proud of you.’’ His brown eyes went to her lips, ‘’Are they poison free?’’ he asked smiling. She didn’t say anything but leaned to kiss his plump lips.

Hannibal was in shock first, he couldn’t believe this was happening but soon he replied to her kiss, he gently pushed on the couch, one of the things about him was that he was a gentleman, that’s what made her drawn to him but she knew that once they were intimate that gentleman would be a hungry man. She wasn’t wrong. She had a dark red winter dress and she felt his hand pulling the dress few inches, his fingers hot against her shivering body. She yanked him closer, his tall body was flushed against hers, she could feel his arousal on her stomach. ‘’Do you want me?’’

He pulled away and asked her, searching for any discomfort in her beautiful eyes, ‘’Yes.’’ She was panting, ‘’Things I’m going to do to you… you won’t be able to walk the next week darling.’’ She felt her cunt vibrate with his words. ‘’Promise?’’ She asked with a smirk, ‘’Promise.’’

She helped him get rid of his clothes, it was the very first time she saw him naked and she had to swallow. ‘’Like what you see?’’ He grabbed his member to give it a few pumps. She nodded, he was huge. ‘’Undress for me.’’

He sat on the couch and watched her slowly took of her dress, she had matching underwear, a black bra and black lace panties. She was always insecure about her body but not tonight, the way he looked at her told her whatever affirmation she needed to hear, ‘’Divine, Aphrodite would be jealous of you.’’

The couch was big enough for them and the next thing she knew was that she was under him, kissing and biting his lips. He moved to her exposed neck and left marks there, came down to her breasts, toyed with them like Hephaestus playing with metal and working his magic. She could feel herself getting wetter each second, he was ravenous, his hands were caressing every part of her, his hot mouth camto her aching core. He inhaled her womanly scent and it made her blush, she wanted to close the gap between her legs but he stopped her. ‘’Never be shy around me Y/N, you are a magnificent woman who deserves to be worshiped and often.’’

He was giving her cunt good licks, he was talented, he kept her legs apart and dived in. She was panting and writhing, he decided to press his finger in and her head fell back. He was pumping slowly, a soft moan left her when he added the second finger, his thumb was circling her clit he kept his movements until she came. His hands left red marks on her legs and she liked it, ‘’Are you ready for me?’’ he watched her body, she looked up to see him, his face was flushed and his pupils were dilated.

‘’Yes daddy.’’ She surprised herself and thought she ruined the moment because Hannibal closed his eyelids and stopped pumping his juicy cock. The pre-cum was dripping, ‘’Hannibal I’m s-‘’

‘’Say it again.’’

His dream just came true, he literally had dreams of Y/N calling him daddy while he was fucking her raw.

‘’Daddy please fuck my pussy.’’

He placed himself between her wide open legs, she felt his tip and shivered. He eased into her, stretching her open, his hands were tight on her thighs. He started to move with control, fully in and fully out, ‘’Harder daddy please..’’ she moaned into his ear.

He let loose, the sound of their skin slapping, the crazy sensation of his hard dick.. it was too much. He wasn’t shy and hearing his moans shocked her, he was a starved man. He was kissing her as he fucked her, biting her lower lip until she was bleeding, he knew she liked it. She reached to her peak, ‘’Daddy oh fuck..’’

‘’Open your mouth.’’ And he spit in her mouth, watched her swallow, ‘’Good girl.’’

He came after her, chanting her name as if it’s a prayer. Her slick was covering him when he emptied himself into her, when it was over he laid on her, careful not to hurt her and she caressed his soft hair, he chuckled under his breath,

‘’We have to clean the place before we leave. Remember the rules, never leave your DNA.’’

Thank you for reading. :)

[mvalentine]

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა rawr!

HI AGAIN!!!!!

Sooo... this ask was me; again, HI 💖

Here are my asks for youuuuuuuu, no pressure though!

if your OCs could only use one kind of writing/notetaking method for the rest of their life, what would it be and why? (pen and paper, digital, etc.)

2. on special holidays/occasions, do your OCs call anyone in particular? why or why not?

3. would your OCs hold the door for anyone else? OR would they slam it in the person's face, especially if they hate that person?

4. if your OCs met you, what would be their first impression of you? and would they ever interact with you again in the future?

that's all i have for now, buh bye queen!!!! have a good whatever the hell you're doing rn!!!!! 💕💕💕

hellooo <333 omg hi first of all thank you so much for that ask you sent me, it genuinely made my entire night 💘 & ahhh these asks are so fun!! im gonna answer for lana (my oph mc) & audrey (my trr mc) because they’re my current hyperfixations atm!!

1. lana: okay so i think lana would very much go the digital route. as a doctor & someone who went to med school- efficiency is key & we all know that pen & paper take way longer. she’s an incredibly fast typer, & she likes the fact that she can have all her files & data stored in one space— plus shes not the most organized & is highly likely to loose her handwritten notes!

audrey: now audrey on the other hand is very much the opposite — she’s a pen & paper girlie through and through <33 she enjoys the artistry of making pretty notes, of using different colors & markers & trying out different fonts and styles. she went to business school & her notes were always top tier, and she was nice enough to share with her classmates in need. she’s also an art enthusiast & later goes on to get a second degree in art history (it’s what she wanted to do initially but didn’t feel as though it was ‘legitimate’ enough) so that could be where her fondness for handwritten notes stems from.

2. lana: she’s not big on holidays & vacations and is definitely not the type to go all out, atleast for herself. i think part of it stems from holidays always being a time for excessive opulence & extravagance, as her family was like quite wealthy & used these holidays as a means to host fancy galas & events rather than bond as a family. once she cuts ties with her family (there’s a long messy backstory to that that i won’t bore you with <3) she starts making her own traditions with her best friend dom & her best friend isabella. she always calls dom, he’s her family. bella unfortunately passed away (another long & messy story that i won’t get into rn <3) but her daughter alana is actually lana’s goddaughter (hence their names) & so she always calls alana & her dad up to wish them. she used to be close to isabella’s family until she passed away & then sort of became very stiff & formal with them because she blamed herself for bella’s death (bella took her own life). i think a few years down the line after she gets with ethan, she reconciles with them (they never once blamed her & always considered her a second daughter) because she deserves happiness too yk <3

audrey: audrey’s mom was never in the picture, it was always just her & her dad. audrey loves any holiday & will take it as an opportunity to dress up and go all out. unfortunately, her dad passed away when she was 17 (why do i give all my ocs such traumatic backstories like what’s that all about?), so she can’t exactly call him. her best friend talia is the one she always calls on any holiday, and she’s still big on celebrating all holidays although her birthday now is more of a bittersweet one, something she just likes to celebrate by herself & later on with drake. nothing fancy, just a bottle of whiskey & a night of reminiscence.

3. lana: i mean, she wouldn’t go out of the way to hold the door open for people. if someone happens to be behind her then i mean yeah, she would hold it open for them & wait for them to pass. but she’s definitely not one of those people who’s gonna be holding open the door for like 5-10 people, like do it yourself people she’s busy & got things to do. oh & she would 100% slam the door in someone’s face if she doesn’t like them, and i say good for her <3

audrey: once again, she’s my sweet baby angel. she’s sarcastic & witty and doesn’t let anyone get away with their bullshit— but she’s also a genuinely kind person. so yeah, she would definitely hold the door open for several people, even if she didn’t like them (unless she really really hated someone yk?)

4: lana: you know i have come to the sad conclusion that lana wouldn’t really like me all that much. which is incredibly sad because she is literally my first & favorite oc. she would find me super loud & overly nice (not because im overly nice i just love meeting new people and get really excited) & wouldn’t really want to interact with me in the future (PLEASE THIS IS SO SAD). if we met at a night out though, we would be besties <333 she’s way more fun & easygoing when she’s hammered oops (also when i say besties i mean for that one night only yk like those girls you meet at the club & you’re glued to the hip for that one night but then never speak to each other ever again after the fact? yeah.)

audrey: now audrey on the other hand, oh yeah we would be besties. we have all the same interests— gilmore girls, taylor swift, cheesy teen rom-coms, 2010 boybands etc. audrey is a very special oc for me because she represents the feeling of owning who you are & not being shamed for having quote unquote girly/basic interests. she used to be embarrassed about what she liked, especially because she dated an older man when she was like 18/19 who really messed with her sense of self & self esteem— but she’s actively worked on herself & gotten therapy and isn’t ashamed of what she likes (i mean she’s got a lot to work on with letting people in on who she really is behind the unflappable & confident facade but that’s a story for another day.) so! i think in the beginning she would find me fun to hang out with, just someone who’s easy-going & fun-loving. i think overtime she would also realize that our friendship could be more than just a ‘fun friendship’ but rather something deeper because i mean i like to think that im a good listener & a decent friend so yeah <333 we would be besties we would have movie nights, we would go to a bar & just talk for hours on end, we would give each other dating advice & just yeah ugh i love her sm!!

[alchemisoul]

Blurry Gems from Memorable Shows in The Holy City Circa the Blackberry Era

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes

North Charleston Peforming Arts Center

(September 29th, 2012)

Fantastic live show. My best friend's wife wanted to do this for her birthday and I was happy to have my friends from home in town together for what I anticipated would be a good show, but a good night regardless. It was so much better than just good, they were fucking fantastic and I feel fortunate to have seen them on one of, if not the last tour, before Jade was outed from the group.

Phish

North Charleston Auditorium

(October 15th & 16th, 2010)

I never fully got them until I got them, until I saw them, two nights in a row, for the first time while surrounded by dozens of my friends.

The band's return to Charleston marked the end of a near 15 year ban placed against them following incidents occurring the last time that were in the area, and after seeing them two dozen or so timew since, they remain among if not my favorite shows.

It was all killer, no filler. And because they have high definition recordings of every show, that you can redeem for free with your ticket, I can relive those nights forever.

STS9

The Music Farm, Dowtown Charleston

(03/20/13)

I saw them for the first time in 2006, it was the first time I ever rolled on E, on the night I was officially done with my active duty enlistment in the Marine Corps - which happened to be my homegirl's birthday. We had a strllar crew en tow and I had never heard electronicesque music played in an instrumental, improvisational way with a full legit band.

As an avid fan of music, and very capable musician, I kept up with music as much as I could while I was gone - but what they did and do was beyond my capacity to absorb initially, what I was hearing for the first time - I was floored by how floored I was, that such a genre of music even existed. It was technical, melodic, and cerebral. It was beautiful.

Aside from The Disco Buscuits, and before Pretty Lights converted to flaunting a full live band for shows, this was very much ahead of its time to hear that sort of music played by an ensemble in such a way.

I rolled my balls off, and after a lot of time spent in dangerous places in various deserts, it was unbelievably therapeutic to end my enlistment with my people on my own terms in that way.

This show was my second or third time seeing them, and went to see them up Asheville that same week as well - it was one of the last tours before David Murphy (bassist, founding member, and leader in my ways) departed. At the time it seemed uncertain what their future would hold, but goddamn if Alana Rocklin isn't every bit the master that Murphy was on bass and they never lost a step.

They're never not, always killer. To be a a couple minutes walk away from a show like this was one of the many endearing perks of living downtown in an amazing city like Charleston. I loved every second of the seven years I lived there. It's a little too much for me now, too boozy, and expensive- but godamn I loved it when I lived there. The City was lit af whenever Sound Tribe Sector Nine were in town.

[resilientdolan]

Drown (G.D) - part 14//end

A/N: idk i feel like it’s the shittiest part wtf. also, please lemme know if you wanna be on the taglist!

Word-count: 1.8k+

Summary: Goodbye isn’t forever, it’s Bianca and Grayson’s “i’ll see you again”

Tags: @bingexdolan @grantsairforce @prettyboydolan @kyaaawritings @3ooda97 @baby-grayson @ryxgrantdolan @fangdolan @evergreendolan @goldenndolan @nikesbailey @soledadgray @sosweetgrethan @twinfinitydolan @333dolans

———————————————————————

If only Bianca could delete that Saturday from her life, she would. It’s 7 in the morning and here she is, putting her maroon cardigan over her floral dress to get ready for the day that she never thought that she would face.

The day to say goodbye to the love of her life.

Bianca gently brushes her long dark locks with her fingers as she looks at her own refelction in the mirror. She suddenly got distracted by a picture that she tacked on her mirror. It’s a polaroid picture of her and Grayson in the back of his Porsche, from the night she lost it to him. Bianca smiling as she took the picture with her camera, with Grayson’s arms wrapped around her, smiling as well. Literally the best night of her life.

Once she’s all set, she heads downstairs to the kitchen only to grab her favorite juicebox. Her mom, who’s sitting on the stool in the counter with her dad, greets her with a smile.

“Good morning, miss pouty,” she teases, since Bianca looks so quiet that morning, completely different with the usual Bianca.

“Morning, mom,” she replies shortly.

“You okay?,” she glances over at her daughter who’s making her way towards the fridge.

“I’m...,” she pauses as she turns around to face her, and she shakes her head. “I’m not okay, Mom. I don’t want him to leave,” she replies in shaky voice. It’s obvious she’s trying to hold herself back from crying.

“Oh, my little baby,” her dad opens his arms wide to scoop her into a hug. “Both of you will be okay. You can text each other, facetime too—“

“No, you don’t get it. I want him around me. Like physically, not only through the phone,” Bianca lays her her head on her dad’s shoulder as she mumbles. “Actually... I’ve been thinking,” she pauses once again.

“About?,” her mom arches her brow as a reaction to her statement.

“I— uh... I want to move to LA with him,” she replies absent-mindedly. Her parents remain silent as she speaks again. “Like... I know I said that I want to go to Bloomfield, but honestly... I— I want to move somewhere new, and you know—,” she sighs.

“Go on, baby, we’ll listen,” her dad encourages her to go on.

“Well— Grayson asked me to move to to LA, with him, because he wants me near, and honestly, I do want it to. But in the other hand... I—I just want to be a good daughter. I want to spend my time as much as I can with you two,” she chews her lower lip. “I mean— I know it’ll hurt you two but—.”

Her father quickly shakes his head as he pulls away for a bit so he can face his only daughter. “Bianca, what? Hurt us? You’re not hurting us!,” he replies.

“But I’m going to leave—“

“Sweetie, we’ll be okay! Do whatever makes you happy. Chase your dreams. You’ll always have our support,” her mom adds. “You can visit us during breaks, and Grayson can visit his family too!,” she speaks excitedly.

“Wait, you’re okay with me leaving?,” Bianca frowns.

“Of course! Honey, you’re no longer a kid,” her dad gently pats her back. “If the idea of moving to a new place with your loved one makes you happy, do it, baby. We’re not holding you back,” he nods his head.

“Are you sure?,” Bianca asks once again to make sure about that.

“Sweetie, we’ll be okay. We’ll stay in touch,” her Mom replies.

“I love you. I love you two so much,” Bianca lets out a soft sigh as she pulls her parents into a group hug for a while. “I promise, I’ll be good. And we can talk everyday, yeah?,” she mumbles.

“Promise. Now it’s time for you to see your man for the last time before he leaves. We can discuss about this once you’re back, it’s nearly 7.45, honey,” her dad reminds her.

“Right, see you later, i love you!,” Bianca quickly pulls away and grabs her juicebox along with her keys.

She just can’t wait to tell him about the news.

———————————————————————

“That’s my girl!,” Bianca can hear Grayson’s voice echoes through the hallway as soon as he sees her making her way towards him. She gets to excited that she starts running towards him. Grayson decides to match her energy by opening his arms wide to welcome her into a hug. Ethan is there as well. He waves his hand at her before he shifts his gaze back to Mabel, who was talking to him.

“I thought you’re not coming,” Grayson pokes out his bottom lip as he carefully lifts her off the ground. Bianca quickly shakes her head as she moves her hands up to cup his cheeks.

“No, I’m definitely coming. I need to see you for the last time,” she replies.

“Oh, hey, I have something for you,” Grayson carefully sets her down after few moments before he shoves his hand into the pocket of his denim jacket that he’s wearing. He quickly pulls out a small maroon box, with a bow on it, and opens it.

A small padlock necklace, with the letter G engraved on the back of the padlock.

“Grayson, it looks so pretty,” Bianca stands in awe as she watches him taking the necklace out of the box.

“Not as pretty as my girl, and oh! I got my initial engraved, see?,” he enthusiastically shows the back of the padlock, where she can see the letter G engraved there, to her.

“Grayson, you actually don’t have to—“

“Shh, let me put it on you. Turn around,” he quickly cuts her off. Bianca quickly turns around so he can put the necklace on her. Once he’s done, she reaches her hand up to touch the padlock.

“You’re mine, and all mine. That’s why I’m choosing padlock. Also, it’s the place were I should be, right next to your heartbeat, just like what Ed Sheeran said,” he smiles.

“We’re going to be away from each other for two weeks, Gray,” Bianca replies, hoping he would notice the fact that she mentions the word two weeks.

“Yeah— wait, two weeks?,” Grayson glances over at his girl with a slight frown.

Bianca nods her head quickly as the smile on her face grows even wider than before. “Give me two weeks, I’ll pack my stuff and move in with you,” she explains.

“Bianca, what—“

“I talked to my parents this morning and they’re okay with me moving to LA. Now, please give me two weeks to pack my things amd prepare everything. We’ll be together again soon, Gray,” she squeals, throwing her arms around his neck to close the gap between them.

“Holy fuck!,” Grayson yells, so loud that probably the everyone around the hallway can hear him. “Baby, that’s fantastic!,” he scoops his girlfriend into another hug.

“I know! I can’t wait!,” she giggles.

“Dolan? Is that you?,” an unfamiliar voice distracts the lovebirds.

Grayson shifts his gaze from the girl in her arms to the one standing three feet away from him. There stands a girl with long blonde hair, with a pair of blue eyes, and very much taller than Bianca.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me. Wait— Alana?,” Grayson squints his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me!,” the blonde girl replies. Bianca quickly shifts his gaze from her boyfriend, then to the new girl that she just met as she pulls away from the hug.

“Damn, it’s been a while, hey!,” Grayson comments. The girl that he’s talking to wraps her arms around his torso, pulling him into a quick hug.

Who’s this girl?

“This is my girlfriend, Bianca. Bianca, this is Alana Whitman, one of my old friends, also... Oliver’s ex-girlfriend,” he speaks in playful tone like he’s messing with her. Oliver is one of Grayson’s cousins.

“Oh, shut up,” Alana playfully shoves him off.

But what catches Bianca’s attention is the name of the girl in front of her, not the fact that she’s Oliver’s ex-girlfriend. Alana Whitman.

Bianca met Alana once when she was 13, on the twins’ birthday party. She has been friends with the twins since they were younger. But that’s not the most important part. The thing is, Alana is Grayson’s first kiss. Though it only happened once, all thanks to that stupid spin-the-bottle game. Grayson also told her once that he used to have a crush on Alana, but it’s all over once he had to witness Alana choosing his cousin instead of him.

Who wouldn’t have a crush on Alana Whitman? Super tall, blue eyes, straight blonde hair. Isla’s nothing compared to her.

“Oh, hello there,” she gives Bianca a small smile. Bianca nods her head as she waves her hand.

“Hey, anyway, where are you going, Alana?,” Grayson asks.

“I’m going to LA,” she smiles.

“Wait, LA? We are too— I mean, Ethan and I. Bianca’s leaving next week,” Grayson elaborates. “Boarding time?,” Grayson asks.

“09.50. Yours?,” Alana answers once she checked her boarding pass.

“Me too! I hope we’re sitting not way too far from each other so I can talk to you, because I’m sure Ethan will sleep during the whole flight,” he chuckles.

Bianca remains quiet. She kinda feels excluded there, but she doesn’t know where to go, since Ethan’s busy talking to Mabel.

“Oh, and hey, I think it’s time for us to leave?,” Alana takes a quick glance at her watch before she shifts her gaze back to Grayson.

“Oh, yeah, right,” he nods before he shifts his gaze back to his girlfriend. “Baby, it’s time,” he coos.

“Yeah. I know. I’ll miss you,” Bianca mumbles as she wraps her arms around his torso, so tight that she doesn’t want to let him go.

“2 weeks, and then we’ll be together again,” he hugs her back.

“Gray?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re mine, you’re— all mine,” she whispers in his ear. Grayson shakes his head as he squeezes her gently.

“I know, baby, I know,” he nods. “Be good when I’m away, yeah?,” he tucks a strand of her hair to the back of Bianca’s ear.

“I will. And you too, yeah?,” she gently bites down her lower lip. He gives her another nod as a respond.

“C’mon, E, it’s time,” Grayson calls for his twin. Ethan gives Mabel a quick hug before he grabs his suitcase and follows Grayson and Alana.

Bianca tugs her hands on the edge of her cardigan as he watches her favorite man walking away with his twin and that girl. She bites her lower lip once again to hold herself back from crying. But a moment later, there she stands, screaming his name.

“Grayson!”

Hearing her calling his name, Grayson turns around, only to find her running towards him to plant a soft kiss onto his lips. In reflex, Grayson cups her cheeks as he returns the kiss.

“I love you, Grapeson. See you in two weeks, please wait for me,” Bianca sniffles as she pulls away.

“And I love you, Bumblebee. I’ll be waiting, baby,” he scoops her into a hug one more time before he waves his hand for the last time and turns around to follow Ethan and Alana.

One thing running inside her head as she watches him leaving.

Why leaving in two weeks if she can leave next week?

She needs to mark her own territory.

-to be continued-

coming soon: Thick and Thin

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3.8k

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 17 Part 19

Part 18

It was a crazy week, and by Wednesday, I had had enough and wanted it to be all over. It was the last day of school for the term. The kids were rowdy, and it was hard for them to concentrate. I gave up structured lessons after the morning session, and we did Easter craft. Still, even craft was hard for my kids. Most of them can't use scissors without assistance or had to use modified ones set into a wooden block. It wasn't a bludge, but it was much less stressful for both the kids and myself.

I had playground duty at lunchtime. Some of the older mainstream kids had heard about Liam, and a few would walk past me and sing the theme song to his superhero movies. Others would have a conversation with me and sneak in a movie quote. Lucky for me, most of Liam's films weren't appropriate for children, so there were only a few they could use. The kids would run away giggling, and I would shake my head. I wasn't upset by it, kids are kids, and at least they made their fun to my face.

The parents were awful. The mums would go quiet when I was near them, and I would hear laughter or whispering as I walked away. The dads looked at me just that little bit longer, making me feel uncomfortable. I just tried to remember Liam's arms around me, the way he made me feel safe in his arms. I found myself touching my earrings a lot. They soothed me.

The worst part was the other staff. Not all of them, just a couple of the younger ones and newer ones. Their eyes seemed to bore into me in the staff room and in meetings. The ones who had been here when Andy died were good. They appeared to be on the same page as Marla had been. The rest of the support class teachers and TA's were kind. They actually asked me to my face about it, seemed happy for me, and then that was it they moved on.

My boss, Michael, did call me into his office on Monday afternoon. He was good about it mostly, just concerned because apparently, the office staff had received a few phone calls from a couple of media outlets trying to get in contact with me. The staff were good enough to hang up on them. I was honest with Michael and said I didn't know what my plans were, just that we were dating. I did tell him about how it would be official on Thursday, but it worked out well because the office would be empty for two weeks, and by then, I'll be old news.

When I spoke to Liam on the phone, I had told him about how I was feeling. I was honest about it as much as I could be.

Liam was empathetic and seemed sincere when he said I didn't have to go. "If it's too much, we can wait for another time. The dress you have will be as good in a few months as it is now. Or we can return it all and try again later." Cheekily he said, "I'll let you keep the earrings."

I declined. I wanted to get it over with. I figured the quicker it was done, the quicker no one would care, and I can go back into hiding. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.

When I had gotten home from work on Tuesday, I had decided to do the hardest thing of all. I called Andy's mother.

Anthea was born in Greece and immigrated to Australia with her family in her early teens. She had met Andy's dad, Tim, a white Australian with Irish heritage, and they had a beautiful marriage. They had five children, three boys and two girls. Andy was the youngest son and was the unofficial favourite. She had always been lovely to me. She always called me Little Lana and would always hug me and insist I ate. On my birthday, she would make me galaktoboureko. She still calls me for my birthday and invites me over for Orthodox Easter and Christmas. I don't go, but I always make sure to call and send presents for my two godchildren.

"My Little Lana," Anthea gushed. "It is so good to hear from you. How are you going? Tim, Lana is on the phone! He will be so happy you called. Yes, Timothy, it's Lana. Yes, Tim says g'day. How are you? We miss you. How is work? How are your precious children? You do such good work, Little Lana."

Did I mention she talks a lot? She was one of those people who seemed to speak without having to take a breath.

"Hi Anthea, I'm doing well. Work is great, really good. I have a great bunch this year."

"Yes, you sound happy, Little Lana. Your new boyfriend must have something to do with it? He is very handsome. Not as handsome as Kamari mou but handsome. I showed all my friends, and they tell me you are still so beautiful and your hair is still so pretty and long. So long now. You've grown it."

I was stunned. I tried to talk, but the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't swallow. I tried to say something, but all that came out was a huge sob, and I broke down.

"I'm sorry, Anthea, I am so sorry."

"Why are you crying? Stop it. Alana, why would I be upset? Why are you crying? Don't cry, silly girl. You should be happy. I do not expect you to be wearing black, like an old lady from my old country, for the rest of your life. I know you loved my son. but you're too young to grieve forever."

"I wanted to call you and tell you, but it happened so fast." I was still crying, but it wasn't so bad now. Anthea had comforted me in a way that I hadn't even known I needed. That she still loved me when I had started dating another man was incredible to me.

"You shhh, Little Lana. Listen to me. You have obviously called me for permission whether you know that's what you were doing or not. You have it, my blessing. Kamari mou wanted you to be happy also. He would not want you to be alone forever. You know this. Go speak to him, speak to Andy, and you will know."

"Thank you, Anthea."

"There now, Little Lana, you will be ok. Now no more speaking of sadness. I must tell you all the wonderful news. You will be an Aunty again soon."

Anthea talked to me for a little over an hour. Talking to Anthea was being talked at, but I needed it. I promised to call her again soon. She, of course, invited me to Easter but didn't expect a reply.

I felt lighter after talking to her. She was right. I had needed to know from her that she was ok with it. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been. I don't think I would have ended it with Liam. I think I was in too deep, but it would have been much harder to go on.

Anthea was right about something else too. I needed to talk to Andy.

So after school on Wednesday, I drove to the cemetery. I went and saw my Dad first. I didn't have much to say to him. I just sat there and let the memories come to me.

I remembered when I was six, and he shaved his moustache off, and I hadn't recognised him. I had run screaming to my Mum that there was a stranger in the house. I remembered how he would take us to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve, getting there early to get good spots and watch in awe as the fireworks exploded over Sydney Harbour. Nothing was as breathtaking as my home city on New Year's Eve. I thought about how he loved David Bowie, and he had even convinced my mother to name my brother after him. Dave and I had taken Dad to see David Bowie a few years before he passed away, and it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. The Labyrinth is still my favourite kid's movie, and Jareth was my first crush. He looked so good in those tights.

I went to see Andy. I don't see him very often. I go on Boxing Day, his birthday and our anniversary. As had become my ritual on those visits, I had his old phone and listened to his playlist. I laid down on the grass next to him and looked up at the sky. After a while, I started talking.

"Hey Butthead," I started, smiling as I said our private nickname. "I've got some things to tell you. First of all, I miss you. But surely you know that. And I know you know I will always love you. You were such a beacon in my life. A light for me when everything else was dark. I was like a moth to your flame. You drew me in, making me want to be close to you. You always made me feel like everything would be ok if I just stayed in your light. Things were so dark when you were taken from me. For so long, I felt nothing. Everything was dark.

"But then I started feeling better. I still missed you every day, but I wanted to find that again. Feel that love and safety again. I started dating about six months ago. Online mostly, you know, how the kids do it these days. I went on a few dates but felt nothing. Or if I did feel something, I felt like they weren't as good as you. Why would I settle for anyone who wasn't as good as you?

"I don't mean the same as you. I mean someone who moves me the way you did. Someone who showed me kindness like you did, someone who made me laugh, made me feel giddy. Someone I was attracted to. But also someone I wanted to do things for, someone who I wanted to go out of my way for, not because they forced me, but because I wanted to because I knew they would do it for me.

"I was about to give up. I only tried dating for a few months, but it felt so futile that I didn't care anymore. Then this guy started messaging me. He was sweet and funny, a Pom, but don't hold that against him. Anyway, I liked him instantly. It scared the shit out of me. I made him wait three months before I agreed to meet him. I was so scared because I knew I could fall for him.

"And when I met him, the sparks were there. It was instant. He was all the things I wanted. He's not like you. You're both very different. I mean, he doesn't like Mad Max for God's sake. But he makes me feel the way you made me feel. And Andy, I am falling for him."

*********************

"Lana, hold still." Jen was pulling my hair. I looked over at Riza, who was covering her mouth with a magazine. Her shaking shoulders gave her away, though, and I could see she was laughing her arse off. "I only have a couple more to do, and then you can go home and sleep."

I was at Riza's place. I had to see Jen after I spoke to Andy. Jen wanted to put my hair in pin curls. She had washed my hair and then got started pinning small sections of my already curly hair into curls.

I thought it was weird, but she said the hair has to be curled in the right direction for the style to work. She also said that the longer the curls were in, the better the result. That's why I was at her place, getting my hair done 24 hours before the event. How do celebrities live like this?

"How the hell am I going to sleep in this?" Riza's dropped all pretence and was laughing openly at me now. "Get bent, Riza."

"Hey! You're the one who looks like a 1950's housewife right now."

"1940's babe," Jen admonished. "Get it right."

When she finished, she wrapped my hair in a silk scarf. "Did you buy me an apron to go with the barefoot in the kitchen look?" I asked.

Jen laughed. She knew me well enough to know it was a joke. "Trust me. You're gonna love it."

"So when do I take the clips out?" I asked Jen.

"Not until I do your hair."

My eyes bulged. "I'm going to Liam's place hours before you're going to get there."

Riza pissed herself laughing, and Jen just said, "trust me."

When I got in bed, I rang Liam. I Facetimed him. Maybe if he laughs at me now, he won't laugh at me when I'm there, which would break my heart. His reaction surprised me.

"Why are you wearing a scarf? Please tell me you didn't dye your hair." He looked devastated.

"And what if I did?" I asked.

"You would still be you. It wouldn't change anything." He sputtered.

"Nice save," I laughed.

"I think being a redhead suits you. It makes you a little different."

I told Liam it was to protect the pin curls so they don't frizz. "You don't have to worry about me dying my hair until I start going white. I've never died my hair. It's my natural colour."

Liam's lip twitched. "I've noticed." He said.

I could have died.

On Thursday morning, I skipped the gym for obvious reasons, showered carefully so as not to wet my hair and started to get ready. I packed my bag and packed a bag for Perrin with his bed, crate, and food. I did a quick run through the shops to the dressmaker to pick the dress up from the dressmaker and to buy underwear for the dress. I didn't need a bra, but I wasn't going without underpants.

In the morning, I pottered, waiting for lunchtime to arrive and for Liam to finish his half-day at work. I was so jittery I had dropped my coffee this morning, and the mug had smashed. Not having anything to do and waiting for hours made it all worse. I had to do something, so I painted my nails and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.

The story took me over, and soon I was transported with the action and exceptional dialogue. I decided the only person who could convince me to be an actor would be Quentin. I even went and got out my "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" hoodie for added comfort. When it was over, I did feel a little better and whistling the song from the movie, I got Perrin and went to Liam's.

By the time I got to Liam's house, the nerves had come back. I found it hard to concentrate and almost just walked Perrin into the backyard. I sighed and put Perrin on his leash and texted Liam that I was here, and walked to the park with Perrin. We had planned a way to introduce the dogs during the week. The snag was I had agreed to it before I knew about the hair situation. But I found an old bucket hat of Andy's that fit and hid most of my head. I still felt ridiculous, but at least the hat somewhat normal.

When I saw Liam, my heart leapt. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me, soothe away all the pain of the last week and fear of tonight. But we had to introduce the dogs first.

We walked to each other as Perrin and Cole had a little sniff of each other. There was no immediate dislike.

"Hello, Sweetheart." His voice took my breath away.

"Hi," I said.

"Cute hat."

"Arse." I was smiling, though.

"I've missed you," he smiled broadly.

I gave him a small smile.

Liam farrowed his eyebrows. "These two look like they are ok," he said. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

I nodded, and Liam leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before we started to walk. We went side by side, keeping the dogs apart. Liam put his arm around my shoulder.

"You're very quiet this afternoon," he said after a few minutes.

"I'm nervous."

"About the dogs or tonight?" He asked. "Or something else?"

"Tonight." I felt like a petulant child with all these short remarks, but I couldn't give him anymore just yet. I let my head rest on his shoulder to try to let him know he wasn't the reason I was acting distant.

Liam squeezed me. "You'll be ok. You're going to be dressed beautifully and appropriately. No one is going to laugh at you. You'll see. Myra and Boyd are all excited to meet you. This is Myra's boyfriends first red carpet, too, so you won't be the only virgin." He paused and chuckled. "Although, I had better keep you two apart. He's a sparky? I think that's the word. I don't want him stealing you away from me. I know how much you love tradies."

I laughed. Liam had said all the right things in a few moments, and I felt calm again. At least calm enough that I can have a conversation. "Thanks, Liam," I said and kissed his cheek.

We walked for about half an hour. The dogs walked together for a bit. Perrin, being so old, was pretty laid back about the whole thing and Cole, while curious, just seemed happy to be making a new friend.

When we got back to Liam's house, we let them leashes off, and Perrin had a sniff around the yard. Cole either followed behind him or bounced around in front of him as if he were saying, "come look at this place over here."

While Perrin explored, Liam stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes a moment, listening to the sounds of the city.

"You're such a good hugger," I told Liam as I turned around in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his shirt, seeking his warmth and familiar scent.

"A compliment. From you? With no sarcasm?" Liam teased. "It must be my lucky day."

"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, and I lifted my head to meet his. Our kisses were soft at first, but they became more than that very quickly.

Liam pulled away and said, "we aren't alone. Ryan is here." Liam suggested that Ryan stay with the dogs while we were out. He would be back on Sunday and Monday, too, to take Cole for a walk and play.

I sighed. "Riza will be here soon anyway. We better get these guys inside and settled."

We took the dogs inside and got them set up. Then and I met Ryan, who was working in Liam's study. I don't know what I expected from Ryan, but a Scottish Hercules was not it. He was at least as large as Liam, had dark hair and green eyes and although he paled in comparison to Liam, he was handsome and instantly likeable.

We shook hands, and he said, "it's nice to meet you, Lana. I've heard a lot about you, so it's nice to put a face to the name." His accent was noticeable but not thick, and he spoke with a confident calmness that must be essential in his job. He doesn't mention or look at my scarf, which is a relief. I smiled and said, "Same. I keep hearing all these names, so it's nice to meet finally."

Liam gets me to put Ryans number in my phone. He said I should call Ryan if I need to contact him if he's not reachable while filming. I look at Ryan, and he nods as he says, "it's my job."

I do it, but I roll my eyes. He's not my assistant.

We let Ryan get back to work, and we go out to my car to bring my stuff in. By the time I've set up Perrin's things and sorted out my put my bags away, Riza and Jen arrive.

Liam opened the door for them, and Riza stood stunned for a moment. "Damn, you're built like a brick shithouse." Riza was very petite, half a head shorter than me, so you'd think she'd be used to everyone being bigger than her.

Liam, bless his cotton socks, laughed and put his hand out. "You must be Riza."

Riza took his hand, "yeah, mate, how's it going?" Liam stood aside to let her come in. She was hauling a massive makeup case, and Liam offered to take it for her. I thought she would bristle at his offer, but instead, she just gave it to him.

I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, indicating my surprise. She just shrugged and gave me a strange look, and looked straight back at him. Riza is a pocket rocket type and prefers to be seen as one of the boys a lot of times. Andy even invited her to his bucks weekend despite her being my maid of honour, so the whole interaction was unusual.

Jen came in and introduced herself to Liam, and it was a much more civilised exchange than Riza's.

I gave them both hugs and kisses on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, Jen and you too, Riza."

"No worries," Riza said.

Liam offered them both some wine and looked at me to see if I wanted one. I agreed, and we all sat in the lounge room.

Riza grabbed my hand when Liam had his back turned, "Sorry Lans, I think I got star struck. I'm a fucking dickhead."

Jen and I laughed at her, and I said, "serves you right for taking the piss out of me last night."

Liam came back with glasses and a bottle of white wine and poured us all a drink before taking a seat next to me. He sat next to me, resting his arm on the lounge behind me and put his ankle on his knee. His foot bounced, and I looked at him, and it struck me that he was anxious.

I put my hand on his foot to soothe him and turned to Riza and said, "did I tell you that Liam planned a trip to Mt Hotham this winter? I think it was June? Queens Birthday weekend? Before your Mum comes. Anyway, Riza, you spent a few winters there. Got any ideas for some good runs?"

That was it, the two of them talked about skiing, and the tension in the air lifted. I even swapped seats with Riza and sat with Jen for a bit. Once I could tell Liam and Riza were comfortable with each other, I asked Liam where Jen could set up.

Liam said to go to the master on the third, and he went to get up to take us there. I told him Jen, and I could be fine, and he smiled at me and kept talking to Riza. Jen and I smiled at each other and went up to get ready.

Part 19

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Alana

Writing Blog URL(s): @jinyoungsir

What fandom(s) do you write for?: GOT7, BTS, Monsta X, Stray Kids, Ateez, NCT

Age: 27

Nationality: American

Languages: English

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: I’m not sure. I’ve taken the test so many times but I never remember the result.

Favorite color: Black

Favorite food: Potatoes! All forms of potatoes!!

Favorite movie: Harry Potter? Jurassic Park/World? Twister? Jaws? I love movies...it’s so hard to choose!

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla with lots of fudge & brownie bits.

Favorite animal: Tigers! I like big cats and the way they move. 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee- Peppermint White Mocha HOT! Or any flavor tea hot or cold as long as it’s sweetened!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Writing and Traveling. Something far from the 9-5, ‘working for the man’ type of job.

Go-to karaoke song: ‘Shoop’ by Salt-N-Pepa (thank u Deadpool)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: The ability to manipulate time because I am late for everything and also, I would 100% pause the timeline for a little mental health break once a day. 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Idk if this counts but I low-key would have loved to be a pirate. So whatever timeline that fits into. 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No, thank you. I already have a defiance disorder. I’m not going to be under 18 ever again. I like doing what I want when I want as an adult lol. Everything turned out okay. 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses. I hope I drown in them. What a dream.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: I AM a teen highschool movie trope lol my husband and I met in school at fourteen.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: YES, because the world is just too big for there not to be. 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I stopped eating pizza for several years for no real reason other than not wanting to eat pizza and then just starting eating it again one day as if I had never stopped. 

When did you post your first piece?: I think it was May 2019.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: Mostly fluff & humor because I’m kind of soft and I really love a feel-good fic. Any angst I write is typically resolved by the end because I live for a happy ending. And occasional smut strictly for the spice. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: OCs & xReaders. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I love/hate the format tbh but mostly because of my tumblr community. I love being able to meet and talk to new people easily thru the platform. 

What inspires you to write?: Everything! Songs, movies, commercials, personal events, etc. Sometimes it’s just a word, phrase, or picture.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’m a major sucker for friends/strangers to lovers! and I LOVE a good Mafia/Gang/Assassin!AU. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you can catch me writing dad!au stories. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I just hope it makes them feel good. Laugh, smile, cry, yell, uwu, just- all the emotions. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Take a break. Read a book, dive into a k-drama, binge a few fics. Sometimes I just have to put the laptop away until I’m ready to start again.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: My favorite story is probably ‘Over The Top’ with GOT7’s Bambam. It’s a dad!au about bam’s twin boys’ first birthday party. I’m quite attached to their family dynamic in the story and may even revisit twin terrors Somsak & Somchai in the future. Most successful? Probably the ‘Bubbles’ series, a Monsta X OT7 fiesta. I had a lot of feedback while posting that series and made a lot of friends. (It was also my first actual fic & it jump-started this blog!)

Who is your favorite person to write about?: Jackson Wang or Park Jinyoung from GOT7 and Han Jisung from Stray Kids. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: This is kind of a tough one because, yes- as a fanfic writer I’m using a real person as a character, however, the storyline, the dialog, the emotions, the actions of the characters are all organic. I could take any one of my stories and replace only that person’s name and it would be considered entirely original. So, I guess I would say it’s not so different. 

What do you think makes a good story?: Great dialog. 

What is your writing process like?: Sometimes I get an idea and go straight to word vomiting and editing. Sometimes it’s planning the title, characters, tags list, & summary then not looking at it for a few weeks until I’m ready to write it. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Yes. All of my stories are AU (non-idol verse) so I would totally repurpose them.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: Love: friends/strangers/enemies to lovers, + grumpy character only soft for their love interest. Dislike: Love triangles, angsty slow burn, cheating, etc.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: IT IS EVERYTHING. I love reading tags, getting aks, getting messages, it warms my heart, and really motivates me to keep going.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: When I write and I really like my own story, it feels like a success. 

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes, they certainly can be. I think people who don’t understand fanfiction can have a very narrow mindset and belittle fanfic writers because of that misunderstanding.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Yes. Even if its something as small as changing one’s mood. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: Not usually. I try to only write things that make me happy and if I ever get requests I’m not into, I usually won’t write it. If I’m not enjoying myself and the story, it’s not worth the pressure I put on myself to write it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: It’s definitely possible, but I haven’t had many issues with this so far.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: My mom, dad, sister, husband, and two other friends know.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: I’m always here to make you laugh and smile, whenever you need it. I hope my stories can bring you joy.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Do it for yourself. If you are enjoying yourself then it’s worth it. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: I love this hellsite. I’ve been here since high school and I have no regrets. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: AJ: my favorite bean, Chelle: my fav writer & inspo, Megan: my hype squad gf, Leena: my sisterwife, Na: my #1 supporter, and Val: my JJP/Wonu Soulmate. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “mo0n Mo0n JiN m0oN!” - Jeon Jeongguk

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 13: Only the Good Die Young

Sources:

Ryu Gwansun

History Channel

Internet Archive

Wikisource

Korea(.)net

Further reading/viewing: Pantheon, Memories of Cell No. 8 (YouTube), A Resistance Trailer (YouTube)

Brittany Murphy

Investigation Discovery

ET Canada (YouTube)

Biography, Brittany Murphy: The Mysterious Circumstances Surrounding Her Untimely Death

Rotten Tomatoes, 11 surprising things you probably didn’t know about ‘Clueless’

Buzzfeed

CNN

Alice Ball

Biography

National Geographic

Oxford Museum of Natural History

ScholarSpace University of Hawaii Manoa

Chemistry World

Click below for a full transcript of the episode!

Alana: So the title of this episode is Only the Good Die Young, right? Haley: Yeah. Alana: And I know it's a song. But that's not even true, because people are complicated, first of all, and all dichotomies are false dichotomies, even that one, because there are some true dichotomies. And goddammit that's a Hank Green quote. Lexi: Yet another episode where the Greens slipped in. Alana: Because I love one man and his brother. [INTRO MUSIC] Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I'm not quite with Lexi. Lexi, what's the worst part about doing this on Zoom? Lexi: Dang. The worst part about doing this on Zoom is if I wanted to make cocktails and give them to you guys I would have to mail them and then the ice would melt so that would really suck. Alana: Also almost here is Haley. Haley, what's the best part about doing this on Zoom? Haley: Seeing your lovely faces. We spent like three, four years together just seeing each other every single day and that was the worst part about going to grad school was I didn't have you guys. Alana: And I'm Alana and I haven't spent this much time in a closet since 2014. Haley, laughing: Oh, shit. Lexi: That's good I love that. That adds a little light. Alana: A little levity. Oh my god Haley’s losing it. Lexi: A brief warning about the following story. This story includes police brutality and torture. If these subjects are uncomfortable for you, please skip to the next story. Archival Audio: Arirang Lexi: You just heard the song Arirang, an approximately six hundred year old folk song which is on the UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage List. During the fight for Korean independence, protesters sang the song as a symbol of Korean spirit. We will tell the story of one of those protesters today; Ryu Gwansun, listener suggested by my sorority sister Kate. Shout out to Kate. My sister from George Mason. I love her and she suggested this lady and it was a really good suggestion. Alana: Wait it's– it's another Korean lady. Lexi: Yes. Alana: Which is the language that you studied in school. Lexi: Yes so it all comes back. And I actually had heard of Ryu Gwansun before, so I was excited to dive deeper into that story and share it with other people because every Korean teacher I ever had brought her up at some point. And if you take Korean history in a college setting, one of the days will be about her, inevitably. So every year in Korea, the people celebrate Independence Movement Day on March 1, and Koreans call this day Sam-il, which literally means three one. This annual event commemorates the protests that took place on March 1, 1919, a large resistance of Japan's military rule of the Korean people. For some context, in 1910 Japan annexed Korea without the consent of Korean leadership. Japan's rule in Korea sought to assimilate Koreans to Japanese culture. It would take a whole episode to explain this entire story and how the U. S. is involved in a whole bunch of other things, but for our purposes it is important to understand that this was like overall a really bad time for the Korean people. Korean culture was restricted, Japanese individuals moved into their land, and violent military rule by the Japanese became the norm in the Korean Peninsula. Additionally, Koreans were forcibly removed from the peninsula and taken Japan to work as forced laborers. So, as you can imagine, there was a lot of resistance to the Japanese in early 20th century Korea. One act of resistance was a protest that occurred on March 1, 1919, Sam-il. On that day, thirty three activists gathered in Seoul and read aloud the Korean Declaration of Independence, which begins “We herewith proclaim the independence of Korea and the liberty of the Korean people. This we proclaim to all the nations of the world in witness of human equality. This we proclaim to our descendents so that they may enjoy in perpetuity their inherent right to nationhood.” Obviously that was said Korean, translated to English for our listeners. This moment was just the spark that began a fire of resistance with communities across the peninsula beginning to protest the Japanese occupation. One protester was Gwansun, who had represented this moment in history for generations of Koreans and today serves as the main symbol of the March 1st movement. Gwansun was born in modern day South Korea, but of course at this time Korea was still one unified nation, so that doesn't really matter, but she was born in a province that's now modern South Korea. She was born on November 17, 1902 so happy birthday to her two days ago when this episode airs. Her father was a reform-minded Methodist and an enlightenment thinker. And in 1918, Gwansun was admitted on scholarship to the Ewha Girls’ School. It's a school that still exists today and has a long list of famous graduates. It is not to be confused with Ewha University, which is a prominent women's university in Seoul, but it is in Seoul and it is Ewha’s girls school so I can understand why people mix them up. The school, along with many others in the country, had become a hub for young activists to learn and discuss the Japanese occupation. Together, they dreamed of Korean independence, so it was very much a young people's movement, and they protested actively cheering “long live Korean independence!” Japan, noticing the schools were becoming organizing hubs for young activists, shut them down. So, Gwansun was sent back to her hometown where she continued to rally support for Korean independence among her community. The school closures were catalysts for national unity among the Korean people and ignited a wave of new activism. So everyone was like “they closed our schools, let's all get together and really start to protest.” So Gwansun recruited people to participate in protests with her on March 1, 1919. The protests would take place at the Aunae– I might be saying that one wrong, I couldn’t find in Hangul, only in English so I'm reading the Romanized version not the Hangul which is why I'm pronouncing it really badly– the Aunae Market. And soon Japanese police forces arrived and began to shoot the Korean protesters who were unarmed. And the police killed nineteen people, including both of Gwansun's parents. The police arrested many of the protesters, including sixteen year old Gwansun. In custody, Gwansun was offered a deal; if she pled guilty and outed her fellow activists who organized the event, the Japanese police would lighten her sentence. When Gwansun refused to out her co-conspirators, the Japanese police tortured her. Despite being beaten, she still resisted giving up any information, thus maintaining her role in the fight against Japanese oppression and violence. Many other women who fought for independence were imprisoned with Gwansun at Seodaemun prison. One year later, on March 1, 1920, women in the women's walk of Seodaemun prison began to chant “long live Korean independence.” The chant spread across the prison. One of these young women was Gwansun. I actually got the chance to visit this prison when I was in South Korea in 2018, highly recommend going there it's now a dedicated history museum with exhibit materials in English, Korean, Chinese, Russian, and a couple other languages. And I got to see cell number eight in the women's branch which is where Gwansun was imprisoned, and it's now dedicated in her honor and it’s set up as an exhibit for her. They had really immersive exhibits to explain her story so it was a very moving experience. After the chant, Gwansun was transferred to solitary confinement. Just two days before the end of her sentence on September 28, 1920 at the age of just seventeen, she died in prison from injuries sustained during torture. Never abandoning her beliefs, she continued to advocate in prison, writing in her diary “Japan will fall. Even if my fingernails are torn out, my nose and ears are ripped apart, and my legs and arms are crushed, this physical pain doesn't compare to the pain of losing my nation. My only remorse is not being able to do more than dedicating my life to my country." It would be another twenty five years until Korea gained independence, with Japan being defeated in World War II. Gwansun has been remembered in popular media, including in Korean films and books, and the trailer for one such film that just came out last year will be on our show notes in the tumblr, it's called “Resistance” in English, it looks really cool. I haven't had a chance to watch the whole film yet but I watched all the trailers that are on YouTube because I was just so captivated. The young actress who plays her seems really really talented so I will be watching the whole thing. Join me in watching it at some point, definitely check it out. And Gwansun is seen as a martyr for the Korean independence movement. She is still honored by Korean people to this day. A shrine was erected to her in home city. It's a really cute statue of her holding up a flag and protesting. And many scholars refer to her as Korea's Joan of Arc, but I don’t like when we compare women to each other. I really think Gwansun is Korea’s Gwansun. She is a woman who died far too young, fighting for what she believed in, and we deserve to remember her in that way. Haley: I love your note on not comparing women to women because… Lexi: It bugs the shit out of me. I just… Like, why does she have to be compared to particularly a white woman, white Christian woman. But why does she have to be compared to anyone else? She did something incredible for her people. Maybe Joan of Arc is France’s Ryu Gwansun. Archival Audio: Before you lies the most glamorous city on Earth. Hollywood, California. A city where men and women skyrocket to fame or crash to oblivion.

Haley: I'll be talking about Brittany Murphy, and with this a brief warning of death, poisoning, murder, and eating disorders. I really struggled with picking a lady today because it was either someone who recently died, which I felt very awkward talking about, or a very small child, which I just, again, mental health needed a break. However, I recently watched Clueless and there is a new ID Mystery or Investigation Discovery coming out so drum roll I had to pick Brittany Murphy. And a lot of me in remembering my deep dive of her life when she died in 2009 and she's one of the first celebrities I remember as a– like a death, like they're dying being reported, and me as a young child having that connection being like “I know who that is I've watched her movies, I've seen her, I had a connection. Also I believe it was around the time my grandfather died, so I kinda– it's been very strange. Whenever someone significant in my life has died another celebrity that had a significant impact in my life also dies around then, so that also had an impression on me. So we all know her as Tai Frasier from the 1995 classic Clueless. However, her big break actually came from becoming a regular on the sitcom Drexell's Class at age fourteen, and honestly it was no surprise that she became such a huge star because around age eight she was begging her mom to start acting, and by age twelve her mom was like “you know what, sure. Let's do this thing. We'll see what happens.” And almost immediately she was booked for gigs, and it was like gig after gig. Back to Clueless. As if - heh - I were gonna just not talk about that movie. Brittany’s character Tai is a new student who's described as hopelessly klutzy and who gets pulled under the wing of popular socialite, Cher, and once she gets that classic makeover, her popularity skyrockets. And yes, this is the movie where the main character starts dating her ex stepbrother who's Paul Rudd. Utter classic. I believe it's still on Netflix. Do yourself a favor and watch it. Alana: It’s based on Emma… Haley: Yes, yes. Alana: And at the end of Emma, Emma starts dating her brother-in-law, so… Haley: So along with the movie being absolutely iconic, it's over twenty five years old so we get a lot of like the fun facts or the tidbits being released. And honestly, not many reference Brittany Murphy. I was really surprised by that. A lot of them of course are on like Cher, being the main character, but a lot on like the director, creator and the costume designer. But for Brittany Murphy I was like oh my gosh I just have all these fun facts in my brain that I just remember from her In Memoriam reel but I couldn't find like the evidence to back it up. But my two favorite were the insult that Tai and Cher like were arguing and Tai goes “you’re a virgin who can’t drive.” Alana: Way harsh, Tai. Haley: Chef’s kiss line. Well, Brittany Murphy was actually the virgin who couldn't drive, which I thought was hysterical. And at the time I watched Clueless I was also a virgin who couldn't drive, so I don't realize like why that was an insult like yeah, what? Alana: I still can't drive. Haley: Like do you not have a license or you’re just a bad driver? Because I’m a shitty driver but I have like– Alana: Oh, my license expires in January. Haley: Oh, okay. Also the scene where she gets hit in the head with like a clog in that like house party, it was a little bit of movie magic if you will because they did the scene with like a prop and it just looked really really fake so when they went in post they superimposed a shoe or whatever like hit her, I believe it was a clog, so the movie would look more realistic. And now I really want to rewatch the movie to see if I like they got it just right with the editing. Now doing a one eighty to her death. As I said, Investigation Discovery has a new episode documentary. In the show notes, I’ve linked it, it’s free. It calls it like episode one or something and I believe it's like forty minutes long, so it's something you can do while you're building a bookshelf, cooking dinner, trying to fall asleep; that's how I watched it, please don't read into that. And the episode documentary is not necessarily on her death that she died, but investigating it as not actually an accident from the perspective of her father really spearheading this. So her father, before he died in 2019, was like “I need to investigate this more,” did a bunch of interviews on how he believes that there is a little more to the story about his daughter Brittany Murphy dying at the age of thirty two. And a lot of my notes come from the documentary or commentary from it and I'm doing a warning in addition to my previous trigger warning that there are a lot of nine one one calls and as Investigation Discovery does, it covers the tragic story without holding anything back. So if that might be a little too much, you'll have a snippet here today. A very abbreviated version, if you will. So her official death from like LA county or like the coroner there in 2010 was said to be a combination of iron deficiency, anemia, pneumonia, and a combination of prescription drugs- like heavy doses of cold medication. But originally, the report was written as a heart attack, and I believe that one of the coroners told news outlets that her death appeared natural. I just want to pause and say a thirty two year old should not have like a natural death if it was ruled as a heart attack. And even kind of with the like documentary, I was having a hard time with like which coroner said what. Maybe that was just me watching this after my stressful life just being my stressful life with work and school. I really want to watch it with you guys too. There are also rumors that she had a drug problem and an eating disorder which could have contributed to her death, but when I was reading like some news outlets and it was like the really crappy tabloids it was like “she died of an eating disorder” and like no or like if she didn't have an eating disorder she would've lived. And there was nothing to say that she did or did not have an eating disorder per se, like at that time. I couldn't find any credible sources from 2009/2010 that she did have an eating disorder. All I could find was like “Brittany Murphy is looking really skinny” and that that’s… as a person– I’ll go out and say it– who has struggled with like eating disorders in the past, I will never say this person had an eating disorder, this person didn’t. I could not find Brittany Murphy coming out and saying that she had an eating disorder. This is all speculation. Even if it comes from a doctor, even if it comes from her dad, speculation. I’m not a doctor. Before her death, both Brittany and her husband Simon Monjack believed that they were being watched by the US government, and Brittany was reportedly a witness to Julia Davis, the Homeland Security employee who called out some of the problems within the organization. So that was kind of like a part that I– people are like “oh she could’ve been murdered, taken out by the government.” And I really didn't know where to put this note in, because it was kind of like she was saying it before she died as well, and she was, I think, a little paranoid from this. Also before her death, Simon and her mother were both sick in Puerto Rico. Brittany was filming The Caller, they went along for a vacay and things just turned nasty. You get sick, that's also like just like a common thing… getting sick on vacations. However, she was reportedly fired on like the first day and some kind of like pointed to her husband causing a nuisance on set for being like drunk and such. So things are just like being very weird. Like a lot of first like the government coming in thinking that she was being followed or watched and now being on a film set and her husband causing a huge disturbance. And sometimes still while on this island, like I said Simon and her mother got sick, so much so that on the flight home, Brittany had to give her husband CPR. And someone, I believe it was Simon claimed he was having a mild heart attack. So again we have this heart attack cause of illness coming back. So of course we get to the part where Brittany now gets a little cold, and it isn't just a little cold. She gets laryngitis. Apparently she got her second period in a month, hence the anemia. A lot of list of just the dominoes hitting the fan of she was essentially sick for six weeks, which takes a toll on any body, regardless of if you were healthy before or not. And she even had a doctor's appointment for the Monday after she died and I believe she died like on a Friday night at home. So fast forward a few months to now her husband dies, of like similar causes. And this was also sketchy because not only did he die like in the same room, same bed, his death was also ruled as quote “severe anemia and acute pneumonia.” So now like bells should be ringing off like what the fuck what the fuck, this is just a few months after her. And another weird part was that there was like an alleged scandal that he also had a relationship with her mother. Things are not adding up. Just to like wrap this whole thing up, like her father said in one of his last interviews he just didn't feel right. This didn’t sit well, and he continuously made allegations against other family members, and he just really wanted to get closure on her death. And that's basically where it ends– where it’s we don't know, we just now have all this new information and people like Investigation Discovery documentary episode are just trying to put it together. Alana: That's a heavy one. Archival Audio: From the Middle Ages, down to modern times, the magic of chemistry has fascinated mankind. Alana: So I don't have a content warning for this one aside from like she died when she was young and that's hard to talk about. Alice Augusta Ball was born on July 24, making her a Leo, 1892 in Seattle, Washington. I'm gonna make that my thing that I just note the star signs of my ladies. Both of Alice's parents and her grandfather were photographers, which meant that because of like photographic technology in the late 19th century Alice grew up around the chemicals that were used for developing photographs at the time. In 1902, when Alice was ten, they all moved to Honolulu, hoping that the change in climate might alleviate her grandfather's arthritis and other medical conditions. Alice's grandfather died two years later and the family moved back to Seattle where Alice graduated high school in 1910 with stellar, amazing, incredible, top of her class grades. She earned a degree in pharmaceutical chemistry in just two years and then a degree in chemistry in four years, both from the University of Washington. She went back to Hawaii to get her master's degree in chemistry from the University of Hawaii which was then called College of Hawaii. She was the first woman and the first Black woman to get a master's degree from the university of Hawaii. She graduated in 1915 and then that fall she became head of the chemistry department. Her thesis was about isolating the active ingredients in kava root for medical purposes, and this is why Dr Harry Hollmann, an assistant surgeon at the local hospital, sought her help. At the time, the best treatment for Hansen's disease, A. K. A. leprosy, was a pill or an ointment made from chaulmoogra oil, which was derived from the seeds of a tropical evergreen tree called the chaulmoogra. So isolating these active ingredients in plants would be an excellent skill to have if you were to research further on chaulmoogra oil and cures slash treatments for Hansen's disease. She juggled teaching and research as a twenty something. And the time management skills of this woman, that within a year she had created a water soluble solution of chaulmoogra oil which meant it could be administered directly into the bloodstream and be much more effective. It. Worked. The practice for people who had been diagnosed with Hanson's or leprosy was to group them together and isolate the group. This is where you get the phrase leper colony. One of my sources called this treatment only partially effective, but holy shit! Because of Alice, those people got to go home to their families. So I don't– partially effective? No. I hate you. I don't hate you, thank you for writing something that I could read for free, but come on. Alice died December t31 1916 at the age of twenty four, after a lab accident while she was teaching gave her chlorine poisoning because lab ventilation wasn't required yet. Her work was stolen. And this you'll see when we talk about– when I talk about Rosalind Franklin in January that stolen work of women in STEM is kind of a theme for me. Arthur Dean, the college president who took over her work after she died, but basically all he did was publish it, only mentioned her name once in the publication and started calling it the Dean Method. Luckily, Dr Hollmann was like “um. No ma’am.” and actively started calling it the Ball Method, and that's the name that stuck. And this method was used until the 1940s, so for twenty years, until sulfone drugs came onto the scene, and they work better or something. I… As previously mentioned, I am not a doctor. Just a little bit about her legacy, as of 2000, February 29 is officially Alice Ball day in Hawaii which… February 29? Really? The twenty ninth? A date that doesn't really exist? Come on. The University of Hawaii Manoa also offers the Alice Augusta Ball scholarship for students majoring in chemistry, biochemistry, biology, or microbiology. They also have a little plaque for her on their chaulmoogra tree, which is just small but I think it's cute. But Alice's work basically cured leprosy. And was just like– people weren't contagious and could go back to living with their families and living their lives and just being people. And then this is one of those things like in a general sense that I'm like, how many great, incredible, fantastic, smart, brilliant minds are we stifling due to systematic oppression? because Alice was so amazing and smart and was able to accomplish all of these things as a Black woman and overcame like– every single source that I read was like this was so strange for a woman, for a Black person, for a Black woman to be doing. So like, larger than anything that she personally could have done, which I think if she had survived this poisoning or if there were… if ventilation was a thing in labs, could she have found the vaccine for leprosy? That I don’t know whether or not we have. I can't really tell. They were working on it at one point according to one of my articles, that was in 2018 and it was promising so it might be done by now. But like what are we as a society missing out on by making life so difficult for anyone who isn’t a cisgender straight white man. Like all of these amazing… Lexi: Snaps. Snaps to that. Alana: Thank you. I'm very frustrated by systematic oppression these days. It's like Covid, systematic oppression, how systematic oppression is making Covid worse in places… Lexi: There's gonna be a Black woman in the White House. Alana: There’s gonna be a Black woman in the White House. Lexi: Just to make you feel a little better. Alana: I do feel better about that. Haley: It makes me so happy. Alana: I do like that. And then her husband is the first Jew in the White House. Haley: Really? Alana: Yeah. Haley: I really wish like we could've called him like the First Doug, because I feel like that's awesome. Yeah, the First Doug. Lexi: Second. Second, because it’s a VP’s spouse. It’s the Second. Alana: Yeah, Second Doug. Lexi: A Doug that really went up the ranks. Alana: I think the vibe that is going to end up happening is First Gentleman– Second Gentleman because that’s what they do for governors. Haley: But like I want Second Doug and then like forever it just be Doug. Lexi: Oh, it becomes Doug, even after. Haley: Yeah. Alana: I like that. Lexi: Kinda love it, it's like oh the Doug. Alana: I'm not a fan of Second Dude, I don't care for that I think that's like… Lexi: Yeah I don't like that. We need like a Spouse of President. No like a SOP. Alana: SOP! Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself. Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History. Haley: Next week on Lady History, it's our U. S. Thanksgiving episode, and we’re doing a deep dive into Native slash Indigenous peoples’ history. [OUTRO MUSIC] Haley: Are raccoons like ducks where you can just like pick one up off the street? Lexi: That’s not true for ducks, we talked about this. You can’t steal wild animals.

[insanelycooljk]

Jared gets kicked out?

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it  

Oh boy... I hope you’re prepared for some angst lmao. In terms of just, the amount of angst/hurt, this is probably the worst wip I’ve got (...except maybe the one that’s just titled ⚡⚡⚡ lol 👀). This is another one that I’m not sure I’ll ever actually write, but it was like 2am and my brain just went hey...what if?? and I had enough to say about it that it warranted it’s own word doc lol.

Anyway, the title pretty much says it all with this one.

Also just wanted to clarify that I can’t actually imagine Jared’s parents ever kicking him out. Like, they’re clearly friends with Heidi and I like to think that anyone Heidi is friends with must be pretty decent people. But, for angst purposes... yeah they’re not great in this. On that note, trigger warning for shitty homophobic parents and homelessness.

So Jared knew coming out wasn’t going to go well, but he didn’t expect it to go quite this badly

He tells his dad first and it’s definitely not great, but it’s not a complete disaster either. His dad kind of just says “Well, you know what I think about that.” and Jared says “I know.” And that’s just the end of the conversation really. And sure Jared’s still hurt by it, but also that was exactly how he expected it to go, so it’s not like he ever had his hopes up enough to be disappointed.

“Are you going to tell your mother?” Jared knows he probably shouldn’t, but part of him just wants to get it over and done with already. I mean really, it’s not like he’s ever tried to be subtle, his mum should probably know already just based off of some of the things Jared’s said over the years, but she’s probably in denial.

So Jared just thinks fuck it. She doesn’t have to like it but he’s sick of pretending.

Which ends up being a very bad decision. As expected she takes it very poorly. There’s a lot of yelling and it’s awful and she’s saying all the standard homophobic bullshit, and then she starts talking about kicking Jared out.

And Jared’s just in shock because... she can’t be serious. Like, this isn’t happening. She’s just angry, she doesn’t actually mean it. Right?

Wrong. Turns out she is absolutely serious. And Jared is just looking at his dad desperately because he hasn’t said a word this whole time, but he still says nothing.

Jared is just so scared and angry and hurt and in shock. Part of him wants to throw a tantrum and just kick and scream and refuse to leave unless his parents physically drag him out of the house.

But he’s in too much of a state of shock to really say or do anything. His dad helps him pack some things and tells Jared that his mum just needs some time to process and calm down, and that he’ll talk to her. Jared just nods numbly, but the unspoken questions lay heavy in the air. How long? Does Jared even want to come back after that? He’s starting to regret lying to his parents so much (”literally nothing I tell my parents is true and they have no idea”) because his dad probably assumes that Jared actually has friends or something that he could stay with for a little while.

His eyes are burning from the effort of holding back his tears because Jared is just stubbornly refusing to completely break down.

He’s still in such a state of shock that he’s kind of dissociating a bit, because next thing Jared knows is that he’s in his car and driving somewhere.

It takes him about 5 minutes to realise that he’s on autopilot and is driving to Evan’s house. Once he has that realisation Jared immediately pulls over because he can not go to Evan’s right now.

Partially because he’s seconds away from completely losing it and having a full-on breakdown, and he is just not in a place right now where he could fake being fine (and obviously breaking down in front of Evan is not an option because please, this is Jared we’re talking about). But also because showing up at Evan’s uninvited and asking to stay over would be pretty out of character for Jared, so if Heidi’s home she’s going to (correctly) assume something is wrong and call his parents, and Jared just... can’t deal with that right now.

So he just lets himself finally breakdown. Once he finally calms down he’s so exhausted from everything that he just quickly makes sure the doors are locked and falls asleep almost instantly.

Any hope that the previous day’s events had just been some kind of messed up nightmare is lost when he wakes up in his car and not his bed.

and Jared’s just... not sure what to do really. His dad seems to think that his mum just needs some time to calm down, but how long is Jared supposed to wait? Should he call? Just show up at home? He doesn’t want to be the one to reach out first because fuck that, but the waiting is going to drive him crazy.

He just feels so lost. So Jared kind of throws himself into planning shit so he can feel some sense of control. He figures he can sleep in his car. His parents paid for like 6 months of a gym membership for him for his birthday, which he’s pretty sure was just a passive aggressive comment about his weight, but boy is he grateful for it now because he figures he can go to the gym and shower. He can do his homework at the library. He figures he should buy one of those adapters so you can charge your phone from your car, or maybe a portable charger so he doesn’t risk killing his battery. Jared doesn’t really spend much, so despite not having a job he’s got a decent amount of money saved up just from birthdays and things over the years. Nothing is ideal but like, he can make it work.

Of course, Jared being Jared is incapable of asking for help so he just... doesn’t tell anyone.

He goes to school the next day, and eventually he’s got a little routine going. He sets his alarm on his phone really early on school days so he can go to the gym first. He does like... the absolute bare minimum amount of exercise to avoid suspicion before he showers. He stays late after school to do his homework in the library, and then once the school library closes he tends to go to the public library to either finish his homework or just take advantage of the free internet and watch youtube or something. He’s worked out the best place to park his car overnight so he’s inconspicuous and he’s relatively safe. Like, obviously he locks the doors and covers most of the windows, but it’s still kind of scary sleeping out in public sometimes.

But he hangs out with and stays over at Evan’s as much as possible. Which like, are the best nights of his week, but also sleeping at Evan’s house almost makes Jared feel worse? It just makes him acutely aware of everything he’s lacking right now.

But overall Jared is doing kind of ok, and he thinks he’s doing a pretty damn good job of acting like everything’s normal.

Which... he is absolutely not lmao. Evan and Alana and even a couple of Jared’s teachers are on to him (maybe Connor and Zoe too, although I haven’t decided if they’ll be in this or not). I mean, no one knows exactly what’s happened, but they can tell something is up.

Jared’s just been... off. He’s very flat and his shitty jokes have been a little harsher than usual lately. And Evan’s kind of confused about why Jared suddenly wants to hang out with him so much. Not that he’s complaining, he’s enjoying hanging out more with Jared, but it does seem weird. It’s weird that Jared stays over multiple times a week now, but Evan can barely remember the last time he went to Jared’s house. It’s weird that Jared never comes over if he knows Heidi will be home that night. It’s just... something’s not adding up and Evan can’t quite work out what.

Anyway, better end it here because wow I did not mean to make this so long lmao. It’d probably end with a confrontation, confession and ultimately Jared staying with Heidi and Evan for the foreseeable future. Plus one VERY angry confrontation with Jared’s parents from Heidi lol. I love angst, but I love an (at least somewhat) happy ending even better, so things would turn out alright in the end :)

[reel-hannibal]

Reel Hannibal 2019 Masterlist

Happy Hanniween, Fannibals! Thanks so much to everyone who participated despite the unexpected hiccups - we really appreciated your patience <3

And now, on this perfect Hannibal holiday, here is the masterlist of all the wonderful entries for Reel Hannibal 2019!

Title: all fools in love Creator: @slowestdive​ Inspired by: Pride and Prejudice Summary: A Pride & Prejudice AU featuring Will as Elizabeth, Hannibal as Mr. Darcy, and really just an excuse to draw these two being utterly in love with each other in period outfits Art: HERE

Title: The Real Husbands of Sarmatia Creator: Tigerprawn Inspired by: The Real Housewives of [...] Summary:  Previously on The Real Husbands of Sarmartia:  Galahad, 29 “Tristan?” Galahad makes a point of rolling his eyes for the camera. “I mean, okay, he’s good at his job. I’ll give him that. But why does he spend the whole day in those short shorts? Okay, so it gets hot around here. But then why doesn’t he get a haircut if it’s so hot? Well, I guess it is hot and he’s out by the pool… getting wet. With the pool water.”Galahad’s phone bleeps. “Wait…” He frowns at his phone. “What the fuck is goat yoga?”::Close up of goats bleating:: Fic and Banner: HERE

Title: Spacedust Creator: @victorineb​ Inspired by: Stardust Summary: Adam has wished for two things in his entire life: to marry Beth, and to visit the stars. When he and Beth see a falling star one night, he sees a chance to have both at once, and promises to find the star and bring it back to his beloved so that she will see that he's worthy of her hand. The star, though, has different plans... A Spacedogs/Stardust AU, in which stars can talk, men can fly, and true love can be found in the strangest of places. Fic and Banner: HERE

Title: Underground Lights Creator: @fhimechan​ Inspired by: Hercules Summary: Once upon a time, Will traded his soul for Alana's life. Luckily, Chilton wants to save (and marry) him. An Hercules AU where Will is Meg, Hannibal is Hades, Chilton is Hercules and True Love always wins. Fic: HERE

Title: Sweet dreams Creator: @acheforhim-fic​ Inspired by: Black Mirror Summary: Tortured by nightmares, Will Graham gets a Nocturnal Companion – an AI who will share and moderate his dreams, and hopefully grant him some relief. (You already know whose digital clone the AI matches him with.) Fic: HERE

Title: Cannibal’s Labyrinth Creator: @whispers-in-the-chrysalis​ Inspired by: Pan’s Labyrinth Art: HERE

Title: Unsinkable Creator: @cinnamaldeide​ Inspired by: Titanic Summary: Detective Graham is tasked to shed some light on a serie of suspicious disappearances of both first and second class passengers happening aboard the Titanic. When Will finds out that head chef Hannibal Lecter is the culprit, the ocean liner proves to be not unsinkable after all. Aesthetic Moodboard: HERE

Title: Ultimate EliasChicken and HanniHorse Creator: @insanelyartful​ Inspired by: Ultimate Chicken Horse Summary: Featuring Grigg as Bunny, Elias as Chicken, Cliff as Elephant, d’Artagnan as Squirrel, Adam Raki as Raccoon, Hannibal as Horse, Will as Sheep, Nigel as Iguana, and Aiden Galvin as Monkey. Art: HERE

Title: Once Upon A Cannibal Creator: @thesilverqueenlady​ Inspired by: Once Upon A Time Summary: Will Graham is settling down to have a nice, quiet little birthday to himself when a girl knocks on his front door. "Hi!" she says. "My name is Abigail, and I'm your daughter." Fic: HERE

Title: Will Graham And The Seven Dogs Creator: @stratumgermanitivum​ Inspired by: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Summary:  Once upon a time, there had been a prince. Of course, that was quite a few years back, now, and very few people remembered him. As the years passed, King Chilton grew more and more frustrated with the boy, and the boy with him. And so it was that on the eve of the boy’s eighteenth birthday, Chilton drew up an order to have him committed - for his own good, of course - trapped in the dungeon under Chilton’s exclusive care until his mind was healed. Or until Chilton had no more use for his talents. However, when the castle guards came for the boy, they found the room empty, the window open. Long live King Chilton. Fic: HERE

Title: The Mummy Creator: @ishxallxgood​ Inspired by: The Mummy Summary: Adam Raki is a librarian, and he's damn proud. He has been obsessed with Ancient Egypt and the Legend of Imhannitep and his consort Anck-Will-Namun since he was a child. When his sister comes across a priceless artifact, Adam cannot resist the pull of Hamunaptra to uncover the secrets plaguing his dreams since he was a child. Fic: HERE

Title: Nakama Creators: @fragile-teacup​ and @beatricenius​ Inspired by: Emma Summary: Hannibal Lecter is handsome, clever, rich, Omegan... and quite oblivious to the fact that he is hopelessly in love with his brusque Alpha mentor, Will. Will Graham has always looked out for Hannibal, occasionally despairing of his young protégé's spoiled nature but valuing his companionship just the same.    They are the best of friends. But when Hannibal finds himself in the grip of a late first heat, both men are forced to confront feelings which neither are prepared for... Nakama, a Regency A/B/O romance based on Emma by Jane Austen.  Fic and Art: HERE

Title: The Game Begins Creators: @insanelyartful Inspired by: Dead by Daylight Summary: While for everyone else, the world seems to be ending; for four very different beings, everything is only beginning. For Will, well, at least social niceties aren't his top priority anymore. For Hannibal, it has opened up a whole new realm of possibilities. And though Nigel wishes it were the end, it's not the end for him quite yet. Then there's Aiden, who sooooo shouldn't be dealing with this during the apocalypse. Fic: HERE

Again, all of our thanks and appreciation to everyone who participated in the 2019 Reel Hannibal! We were thrilled to see so many gorgeous AUs and we hope that everyone had as much fun as we did.

If you haven’t checked out these amazing Reels, please do so and shower these Fannibals in cookies, comments, and kudos, because they really deserve them.

See you next year in April for Reel Hannibal 2020!!! 

You can also check out: Reel Hannibal on AO3 | Reel Hannibal on Twitter | Reel Hannibal 2018 Masterlist

[kiss-my-freckle]

3x9 Rewatch: ...And the Woman Clothed with the Sun

This episode is fun because Francis and Will are very much alike, so Hannibal is able to show him in a way that he couldn't before. Things start to get very real very fast. A lot of episode 1x4 ties into this. Hannibal has him walking into the Norman Chapel. Will tells him the truth about his letter, but keeps secret the fact that he kept it in his drawer until he read it. Hannibal didn't want him to come, but he's happy that he did. Better to see family than the occasional pencil-licking psychiatrist. Will doesn't want to get personal with him because he knows that if he does, he'll cave where he hollowed himself. Hannibal takes him in, wanting to smell the man he's been missing for three years. "I smell dogs... and pine and oil beneath that shaving lotion. It's something a child would select, isn't it? Is there a child in your life, Will? I gave you a child if you recall." He's referring to Abigail. Purposeful for him not to mention his unborn. Will continues to distance himself, not wanting to get personal. "You just came here to look at me. Came to get the old scent again. Why don't you just smell yourself?" No length of time is ever gonna bury it. This upsets Will as he tries to remain strong for as long as he can. "Whereas you are a new man." It would require he be a new man with different instincts. He's being honest. "Family values may have declined over the last century, but we still help our families when we can. You're family, Will." Time for Abigail flashbacks. "We have a basic affinity for our family. We can detect each other from smell alone. You recognize this?" He has her blindfolded, smelling a knife that her father made with bone. The entire point of Will smelling himself. He and Hannibal are family. 

Will visits with Alana. "I had the absurd feeling that he walked out with me." Foreshadowing Hannibal’s escape. She tells him she's still with Margot and gave birth to a Verger son. "So... what are you doing here?" She's playing it smart, making sure Hannibal can't fulfill his promise to kill her. "Hannibal's never been great with boundaries." Sounds like Jack. "He who sups with the Devil needs a long spoon." Again, sounds like Jack. He pulled Molly in at the dinner table. "I'm not letting him in, Alana. Don't worry about me." Will gets off the couch and turns his back to Alana, needing to hide his body language. He's worried about himself because he fears he's gonna cave. "I'm not just worried about you. Last time, it didn't end with you." No, it ended with Abigail. 

Hannibal's second mention to Francis being a shy boy. He and Will discuss the shards of mirror being placed on the eyes and mouth. "Could you see yourself in their eyes, Will? Killing them all?" This plays into the finale. "Save yourself, kill them all?" Because he's speaking to Hannibal, he's able to imagine both of them at the crime scene. Will was already connecting with him during his replay. "Like you, Will, he needs a family to escape what's inside him." Filling his home with light to escape the dark, especially when he doesn't want to think about Hannibal anymore. The glass shard falling from Will’s face is thrilling. Because he's a lot like Francis, Hannibal uses that to help him answer his own questions. "How did you choose yours? Ready-made wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter... a stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most." That's why he tried connecting with Abigail. Not his biological daughter, but she had him feeling paternal enough to buy her a gift, more purpose for her flashbacks. Will hates that Hannibal can read him this well. He stands on the opposite side of the table, still fighting to keep his distance, determination in his body language. I like the way his eyes change when Hannibal talks about Francis and his outdoor nudity. Hannibal gets him caught up in the moment. "Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight, Will? It appears quite black." Will imagines his naked body covered in blood that appears black, his arm stretched out to the moon. I'd say demonic sexuality piqued Will's interest. This scene ties into the finale. Freddie catches a few photos of him as he's leaving the mental hospital.

Hannibal is hilarious. "You've come to wag your finger? How is Margot?" She's talking to Hannibal when she should be talking to Jack. She struts across the room like the queen Hannibal drew. "You're a little bit like a cat that way." One of the big cats, best not to poke him. Cut to Abigail's flashback. "You deny your love for your father because of what it might mean about you." That's why Will wanted to kill Hannibal in season three. Afraid of becoming him. What loving Hannibal mean about Will. "Your father never wished for anything but your happiness." Alana has no idea what Hannibal wants for Will, she's assuming. "Are you suggesting I don't have Will's best interests in my mind?" Hobbs killed those girls to stop himself from killing her. He was fighting his own demon. "All that's left is honesty." Separating the father from the killer. "Blood rituals involve a symbolic death, and then a rebirth.” Will and Hannibal in the finale. Symbolic death of The Dragon - both of them bleeding all over the crime scene, followed by their baptismal drop into the Atlantic.

They cut to Francis at the dinner table. He's sitting at the far end, opposite his grandmother. Her attitude comes off a lot like Alana's, an almighty queen. She looks at young Francis as if he's the devil. It makes me question what happened to his parents, his mother specifically. This entire dinner scene reminds me of Will in episode 1x4 when he mentioned his mother. He spoke of her in present tense when he said she is difficult to reach, then spoke of her in past tense when he said he never knew her. A cut between scenes. Will watching the family on an ipad, celebrating the daughter's birthday.... to Francis watching the film he took of their deaths, his dragon tail draped on the floor. He and Will have two sides. Francis is bothered by the films, but feels he can't control his other self. It's like what Hannibal asked of Will. "Does the enemy inside you agree with the accusation?" For Francis, the enemy inside is The Dragon, and he’s constantly fighting it.

Cat in a shoe box. Kate is such a human name, unlike Cloud or Snowflake. It was strangled. Jimmy calls him a son of a bitch. This comes in later after Will visits Molly in the hospital. Might as well call him the child of a nightmare. "OK... Seems like you're more upset about the cat than you were about the children, but... " Like Will, caring more about the dogs. "I'm particularly fond of cats, I'm not particularly fond of children." The point. The dog was stabbed with an ice pick or an awl. Jimmy again, calls him a son of a bitch. I would consider the awl because of the clothing Francis' has in his house. A lot of his grandmother's things. Will is upset with the pet torture, but knows Francis must be watching the families if he's ridding them of their early warning prior to killing them. This takes him back to the house to see if he watched them from a short distance. Happy families, what he didn't seem to have. Will finds his seat. It reminds me of him and Gideon standing outside Alana's home in season one. More to Hannibal's promise of killing her, along with her happy little family. "I sat here, and I watched them." He catches sight of the tree marking, but doesn't take it to Hannibal until later. 

When he leaves, he runs into Freddie. "You didn't die enough.” He never liked her. Cordell with naked Hannibal, now Freddie with naked Will. "A big black box.” She called them murder husbands because they are. “You did run off to Europe together.” Again with her Takes One To Catch One. He asks if she’s referring to him or Hannibal. “I'll let my readers decide.” Her readers already know. 

They cut to Francis, he's meeting Reba for the first time. Like Hannibal when he met Will. She's waiting at the bus stop when he pulls up in his van. "I take the bus all the time; you don't need to worry about me." This ties in two more. Will, when he was talking to Alana. "I'm not letting him in, Alana. Don't worry about me." And Hannibal, when Will tells him he's heading home. "When life becomes maddeningly polite... ...think about me. Think about me, Will. Don't worry about me." She invites Francis in for a drink, like Will and Hannibal having their egg and sausage breakfast. "I understand you because you speak very well and because I listen." Making mention as Hannibal does. "Your speech is bent and pruned by disabilities, real and imagined, but your words are startling." He made mention of this to Will earlier. "Have you considered the possibility that he's disfigured? Or that he may believe he's disfigured?" He's self-conscious about it. When she reaches to touch his face, he grabs her by the wrist to stop her. Like Will being psychoanalyzed by Hannibal. "Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most."

Will calls Molly. They talk about the new dogs they adopted. "Criminal mind even at that age." Her comment bothers Will. "I don't have a criminal mind." This call leads to Will’s nightmare. As Hannibal said, "When life becomes maddeningly polite... ...think about me. Think about me, Will. Don't worry about me." Worry about Molly, it's the reason he’s having a nightmare. He sees her dead in their bed, shards of glass covering her eyes and mouth. Her chest lighting up like the strings did at the crime scene during his replay. Covered in blood, he screams himself awake, strips off his shirt and heads into the bathroom. He's connecting quicker than he thought he would, more shards falling from his face as he looks in the mirror. "Sometimes... at night I leave the lights on in my little house..." As the scene cuts just like it did with Francis, night turns to day, the lights turning off in the windows of the mental hospital. Darkness entering a house of light. That's why he walks across flat fields to feel safe. He's afraid of who he is and what he'll do if he's in the house, just as fearful of it as Francis is when he's trying to protect Reba.

Jack visits Hannibal. The way he walks in, he feels he’s in control. "Yes, I read your note before my office forwarded it to Will." There isn't a boundary Jack won't cross, and he likely used their past relationship as an excuse. "It would be more honest if you ate his brain right out of his skull." I love Hannibal's honesty here. As if Jack didn't get enough watching him saw into Will's head. He makes his third reference to Francis being a shy boy. "This shy boy has already seen Will. He already knows his name. Are you chumming the waters, Jack?" He knows Jack is baiting Will without his knowledge. "It takes one to catch one." Attack and admission, Jack gave Freddie intel for her article. It didn't do him any good, he gave Francis the open to choose who he reaches out to, Hannibal or Will. "I'll let my readers decide." Hannibal takes a nice bite, reminding him that it takes two, Jack and Will baiting him in season two. He’s an idiot if he honestly thinks Hannibal being inside Will's head will get the job done. It's the last place Jack should want him to be. He’s choosing to play because he thinks he can control the bait and the game. "I don't think I'll persuade you, Doctor. You'll either play, or you won't." As Will states later in the season, "You play, you pay." Chilton won't be the only one to get burned. 

Another flashback of Abigail. This one, when Will calls him. "They know." It was supposed to play out like Hobbs, Jack taking a knife to the throat instead of Abigail. Hannibal had every intention of creating a new life for them, this was his family. "We're waiting for Will." That's what he's doing in the mental hospital, he's waiting for Will. "They'll catch us if we stay." He had to surrender. It wasn’t about them catching him. It was about Will. He already made promise that he wouldn't look for him. Should Will get up the courage to run, he wouldn't be able to find Hannibal. That was the sacrifice he made, however long it took, whether Will changed his mind or he didn’t. His freedom for his family. Either he leaves and loses Will, or stays and prays Will comes for him. He gets his first phone call from Francis. As I made mention earlier, Jack made a mistake when he gave him the open to contact either one. "Wasn't surprising that I heard from the Great Red Dragon." Francis had no reason to contact Will. "I don't believe you would tell them who I am, even if you knew." 

[delightfulpersonwombat]

Departure

It had nearly been too late once Alana had gotten there. The sky was inky black, rumbling and booming with magic and corruption. Alana made her way over to the still standing workshop, the wards and gates activating, recognizing Alana as she passed through them. Westra ensured that her wards and gates could recognize the spirit signature of anyone attempting to enter, working around any magical disguises or transformation magic.

Alana had entered the workshop with little problem, the wards and gates reactivating as she entered. 

“You weren’t supposed to come. I...I didn’t want you to see me like this. This wasn’t your war. This wasn’t your fight.” Westra said. “You were supposed to stay with Scarlet...or Samson...just...not here.”

“For being as intelligent as you are, you think up some of the dumbest things sometimes.” Alana replied, knowing she was one of the few people who could talk to Westra like that. “You’re my life. You’re my person. You’re who I am to be with. If you think this isn’t my fight, you would be wrong. If you think this isn’t my war, you would be just as wrong. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I’m just sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Westra looked deathly. Her hands and mouth were stained with the inky black ichor, and she struggled to find breath. Her eyes were starting to form milky cataracts; she was losing her vision rapidly. She was frail, and circles as dark as the ichor spewing from her mouth were a permanent part of her under eyes.

Westra didn’t respond as Alana crossed the room, pulling over a stool so she could sit next to Westra.. She took a seat and gently cupped Westra’s face in her hands, kissing the other woman. Westra kissed back, wrapping her arms around Alana. Westra broke the kiss and Alana wrapped her arms around Westra, not wanting to let the other woman go. 

“I’m not letting you go. You’re not going to die alone. You claim that Jace shouldn’t die alone and you went after him to try and save him. Now you’re the one who is dying and you tried so hard to push everyone away. But...you don’t have the right to say I can’t choose to be with you in your last moments. I love you. You are the one who I will always choose to be with. In the good times and the bad times. I am with you until the very end.” Alana said, resting her forehead on Westra’s. 

That had been two tenday ago.

The workshop was empty, barring Alana and Westra. Lieryn had taken Rinni to one of the other buildings while she did her job as a shadar-kai, collecting memories and archiving them as she processed the dead to be judged. Rinni was taking on what Westra had done in commanding her own constructs, working to keep the other children safe.

She didn’t need to watch her teacher die.

Westra now lay in Alana’s lap, her brilliant green eyes fluttering open and closed as she struggled to stay alive. Westra had done what she could. She commanded her constructs and sent them off. She’d thrown her own magic at Azrael, burning through everything she had, with Alana there to bolster her and throw her own magic. Anything to help the party reach Azrael and finish him off.

Because Westra wasn’t going to survive the night.

“Alana, I need a favor. Can you turn on the recording device I made you? I want to leave a message for you that you can listen to when you miss me.” Westra said. Alana pulled her eyes from away from the window and down to Westra’s face. She nodded, pulling out the small cube and turning it on. “Happy birthday. I love you. I will always love you. Celebrate you and your life today. Don’t think of today as a day of mourning, but a day of joy.”

Alana turned the device off as Westra began to violently cough, spewing black ichor into her hands as she covered her face.

“That’s going to be easier said than done, you know.” Alana said once Westra’s coughing had stopped. She carefully stroked Westra’s hair, her fingertips brushing Westra’s forehead. It was burning hot to the touch, though Westra shivered as if she couldn’t get warm. “I’m losing my wife on my birthday. You lost your family the day before your birthday. How do I allow myself to feel joy?”

“It’s not going to be easy. It never is. But...I think out of everyone, you can find your peace. You can find your joy. You’ve been through so much as it is and yet you still have a love in you that you choose to give to others.” Westra said, reaching out to Alana. Alana took her hand, kissing the back of it before letting it sit in her own. “They’re fighting him right now, aren’t they? I wish I could see it. I wish I could be there, fighting by their side. Especially Vivienne’s. I...I promised her I would. I know that isn’t feasible. I can’t even sit up without slumping back over, barely able to breathe. But still.” 

“You have fought, Westra. We fought. I know it isn’t the same, but your party is going to appreciate it all the same. We’re still fighting right now.” Alana said as tears began to spring to her eyes. Westra let out another violent cough, blood mixing with the inky black ichor. Fever burned throughout Westra’s body, the heat of Westra’s body sinking into Alana’s skin. Westra managed to stop coughing, but it took longer still for her to be able to find full breaths. “Westra...it’s okay if you need to let go.You know that, right? If you need to stop because it’s too much. That isn’t you giving up. Not by a longshot. You can let go when you need to. You already have done so much. Let yourself rest. It’s okay. They’re going to do it. They’re going to save the world. You...you saved the world, too. Even if you don’t want the accolades, you deserve them. Just as you deserve to rest.” 

“Not yet.” Westra said. She let out another set of violent coughs, and it seemed to take longer for her to settle. “I chose when I finally leave. Even if I was forced to leave before I was ready, I chose when I go. Lieryn has already done what she’s needed to do. Her magic is in place and will collect what it needs to collect. She’s promised I will be delivered to Robin. Even the ravens the Raven Queen sent realize what is happening. They’ve taken to going after the enemies attacking, as if they also understand that this is a war that they don’t want to be on the wrong side of.”

Alana merely nodded, stroking Westra’s hair. The two sat and lay in silence for some time, the war waging all around them. Westra coughed again, spewing more of the inky black ichor. Blood and ichor began to slowly drip from her nose and from her ears, as her breathing became more and more labored. 

Westra was dying. Alana could do nothing to try and save the woman that she loved.

She leaned over and gently kissed Westra’s burning forehead, making sure that Westra was as comfortable as possible. Tears began to slip from Alana’s eyes, as much as she tried to hold them back.

Westra squeezed her hand gently, a soft look on her face that was otherwise marred by pain. 

“They’re hurting out there.” Alana said, glancing out the window again. The tiny mechanical spiders in the room all began to click as six mechanical wrens rose into the air, all carrying a vial of healing drought. They fluttered about the room before going straight to the window, squeezing outside of the small opening. 

“I think I’m done now.” Westra said, looking at Alana. Alana leaned down and kissed Westra gently, who mustered enough strength to kiss the other woman back. She gently pulled away, keeping her face inches from Alana’s. “Goodbye. I love you. Be safe. Be smart. Be..”

“Be good. Be kind.” Alana finished as Westra’s head fell back to Alana’s leg. Westra breathed her last breath, dying in Alana’s arms. “I love you.”

Tears rained down Alana’s cheeks, splashing onto Westra’s face. With a shaky hand, Alana let go of Westra’s hand and carefully closed Westra’s eyes for the last time. 

-- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- --

Vivienne took a breath, letting her amulet fall back to her chest. Robin had bolstered her healing, giving her back the vitality she needed to be able to continue, but she was still badly hurt. Her movements, though still fast, still seemed sluggish and slow. Her body screamed at her, begging her to let it rest. 

She didn’t see the mechanical wrens until one was already resting on her shoulder. VIvienne glanced around, seeing a mechanical wren sitting on each of her party member’s shoulders as well. The birds clicked in unison, a healing drought seeping into Vivienne’s skin. It spread through her, quieting the ache in her bones. The birds seemed to be giving healing to each party member as well.

/Westra/. 

Vivienne looked around again. Her sister was nowhere to be seen on the battlefield. She took another breath. Westra had /promised/ her she would be there. This was as much Westra’s fight as it was anyone else’s. She’d given up so damn much already; she deserved to be here.

/”I didn’t give up, Vivienne. I’m still fucking fighting. With everything I have. I will be at the final battle. Hey. You and I still need to fight side by side one last time.”/

Barnaby seemed to be looking around from Vivienne’s shoulder as well, calling out for the younger Stormwood as Vivienne kept looking. There was no sign of Westra actually being on the battlefield, but she was /everywhere/. Constructs helped the fae on the edges of the field, as well as protecting the various buildings. Monstrosities of all types came after them, but the constructs stood in their way and took the brunt of the hits. They aided the fae, getting them out of the way of danger when they fell, giving healing right there on the battlefield, and took out the monstrosities with the fae. They moved in sync with the fae, as if the fae were working with them as well.

Where was Westra?

Vivienne swallowed, the sigil breaking under the pressure of her fists as she beat down onto it. A heartbreaking revelation hit Vivienne as the sigil broke. Westra was already dead. Vivienne knew that if her sister was still alive, she’d be riding Doctor Hoot high in the sky, attacking Azrael with everything she had.

Vivienne made her way to where Samson lay, a knot forming in her throat. Vivienne cleared her throat and squatted down, letting her healing magic come over Samson. As he opened his eyes and saw her, Vivienne could see the pain resting in them.

Samson knew Westra was gone, too.

Vivienne felt her heart break even more as the lump returned, a tear slipping out of both her eyes.

He held out his hand to Vivienne and she took it, her whole body shaking. She was the last of her family left. The last Stormwood. Si Thalael had taken her entire family.

/”Little bird and little fox. You are both my little sisters. You are my family.”/

Fury and anguish ripped through Vivienne as she leapt off of the hand that was holding Hallda. She landed on Azrael, pulling him down and punching him. “You took everything from me, you son of a bitch.” Vivienne said, tears coming out of her eyes. “You have destroyed everything that I have ever loved. You are a blight on this world. I hope your soul never finds asylum or peace. I hope it is ripped apart for the rest of eternity.” 

She landed on top of the cage that Hallda had made, tears streaming out of her eyes. Her father’s sword, as well as Frost’s sword, sat sheathed at her side. For once, the ice blade was quiet. Vivienne could swear she felt arms encircling her, even though there was no one there. She blinked, seeing the spirits of those lost all around her. 

They were there. Even if not physically, they were there.

Azrael tried to blast them all away, a sneer resting on his face. But Vivienne held her ground. She refused to let herself lose her ground. As he tried to flee, Vivienne leaped up and threw her hardest punch.

“This is for her.” Vivienne said, her fist connecting with his face.

He came back down to the ground, Vivienne landing on her feet next to him.

“Do you really think this is going to stop? That I am the only one who is trying to call forth the Darkness? It will rise, even if it is not me to bring it. You are all powerless to stop it. All of your family’s lives will be cursed!” Azrael had started. Vivienne shook, anger and grief wrapping itself around her like a cloak.

“Just fucking die already.” She said, a sneer resting on her face. “No one wants to fucking hear you monologue.”

He turned to dust, disintegrating as if the world itself was done with him, his ashes scattering to the wind, the clouds in the sky starting to part slightly.

Westra was gone. 

More tears slipped out of Vivienne’s eyes as she refused to look at her party and at her friends on the battlefield. 

/”All of your family’s lives will be cursed!”/

She had no family left. Every member of her family was dead. She was the last one left. 

Two figures formed where Azrael once stood. One was merely just a wisp of blue light; a man that Vivienne didn’t know like the party did. Jace. It was an unsaid thank you. The sigh of relief as he was finally free. He vanished, leaving only the other figure. Trace formed once again, their ancient eyes taking in everything. 

It didn’t matter. Westra was gone.

The clouds around the sanctuary began to lift, but not the ones inside of Vivienne. Her eyes went to a building previously obscured by darkness, the door of the building opening. A young woman, sans pirate hat, walked out carrying a broken form. Alana clutched Westra’s lifeless body in her arms, clearly grieving.

/”I’m going to kill her, Isabella. That is my mission. She killed our entire family. She needs to die so that they may be able to rest in peace. So that I can find my peace. It is my mission to kill Westra.”/

/”You don't have a right to think of yourself as a father figure or a godfather to me after you watched my family die and then continue on with the organization that pitted me against my sister in hopes that I would kill her. Fuck you, Venser.”/

/”I had a mission, you know. To kill you. Because I had it in my head that you killed all of them. That you were the reason they were dead. But...it wasn’t you, just as it wasn’t me. We blame ourselves so much, but neither one of us is at fault, Westra. I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Instead of seeking you out to kill you, I should have sought you out to get to spend what little time you have left with you.”/

/“Be good. Be safe. Be smart. And...hey. Be wise. I love you.”/

The sigils and runes for revivify were already traced before Vivienne took a step. She moved towards Alana, barely able to get the words out. The spell tumbled from her lips, and Alana merely nodded, collapsing to her knees with Westra still in her arms. Vivienne knelt down, placing her hands on Westra’s form, letting the reviving magic do its work.

The magic settled around Westra, outlining her form. It didn’t seep in, though. The magic dissipated, but Westra didn’t awaken, Vivienne shook her head. She didn’t have the power to cast this again. 

/”Take my my sight. My hearing. Take part of my life force. Take what you need but please don’t take her. Please. Please, I need her.”/

The ground rumbled all around Vivienne, but she didn’t look up. Her eyes were only on Westra as she tried to keep pumping magic into her sister’s lifeless form. Nothing seemed to take. Spell after spell, sigil after sigl, rune after rune. None of it caused Westra’s eyes to open. To bring breath back to her lungs. Vivienne grabbed a dagger off of Alana and sliced her own arm, Vivienne placing her bleeding arm onto the hole in Westra’s shoulder. The black ichor didn’t move from Westra, nor did Vivienne’s blood cause Westra to rise.

Westra was dead. Vivienne couldn’t bring her back.

Robin and the shadar-kai that was staying with Westra appeared. Vivienne barely registered as Robin asked Lieryn to help him collect the dead. To bring them back to the Underworld. She barely registered as he walked over to where Vivienne and Alana were. He was badly injured; he had been fighting with everything he had down in the Underworld while she and her party were fighting with everything they had on the material plane. Robin wordlessly asked for Westra and he very carefully took her body from the two of them. As Robin took Westra, Alana collapsed into Vivienne’s arms, her whole body shaking with sobs. Vivienne wrapped her arms around the younger woman, crying with her.

“You can take me instead. I’ll go in her place. I’ve seen enough. I’m good. I’ve done all I needed to do.” Zealous offered as Robin made his way back into the Underworld, Westra in his arms.

“No. If anyone is taking Westa’s place, it’s me. I’m her sister. It /should/ be me. Take me instead. Let her live. She has...she has so much more to live for.” Vivienne said. Alana continued to sob in her arms as she wrapped her own arms tightly around Vivienne. Vivienne held back the flinch as she carefully put her hand in Alana’s hair, seeing that the woman wasn’t even wearing her tiara as she normally did. The tiara was on top of Westra’s head, catching the light as it began to break through the clouds.

Robin didn't say anything. He continued on his journey, delivering Westra to her final resting place.

Westra was dead and Vivienne couldn’t bring her back.

She never could save her sister. Westra knew that. She kept trying to tell VIvienne that. And while Vivienne knew that Westra spoke the truth, she hadn’t wanted it to be right.

She hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye.

“No. You don’t get to take her. Not her. That is the one person you can’t take. Not after Vivi went through literal hell for you. You’re taking away the one thing she truly wants. The one person she desperately wants to save and she can’t. After she has done so much for you. What kind of a god are you?” Hallda yelled.  “I don’t give a fuck about Westra. Sure, she’s nice and everything, but she matters to Vivi and you’re taking her away!”

Robin faltered, beginning to speak, but Vivienne shook her head.

“Robin...if I may.” Vivienne began. She looked up at Hallda, tears running down her cheeks. Vivienne hated crying in front of others, but she couldn’t stop it. “Westra has suffered enough. I...I understand why it failed. Why she can’t come back. I...would give anything to change that, but it doesn’t make a fucking difference. She was so sick. She held on for as long as she could and she tried to help where she could. But this is the end of her journey. And I can’t change that. Robin can’t change that. It’d break what he is as a god of balance. He’s going to take care of her. It’s...it’s okay. I accept that I can’t change this. That I can’t bring her back. He has done more than he should be able to.”

Alana let out an audible sob and Vivienne turned back to the grieving woman in her arms, pressing her face into Alana’s hair. Barnaby cried on Vivienne’s shoulder, his snot dripping onto both Vivienne and Alana. She didn’t really register as Robin talked once again. As Lieryn collected the bodies of the dead. As others spoke. None of it mattered.

The last of Vivienne’s family was dead. Westra was dead.

-- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- --

[One tenday ago]

“I, Alana Octavia Diminiski, do take you, Westra Iveliesse Stormwood to be my lawfully wedded wife. To whom which I will cherish and love until my dying breath. To whom I wish to grow with and be there for, in sickness and in health. In times of stormy weather and in times of darkness. I will be the light with you, fighting the darkness with you by my side, until death do us part. You are my soul. My person. You not only complete me but you help me find who I truly am and what I truly want to become. I carry your heart with me as you carry my heart with you.” Alana said, holding Westra’s hands in her own as the two faced each other. 

The only other three beings, besides Doctor Hoot and Tails, were Lieryn, Rinni, and Gisella. Gisella stood by Westra and Alana, officiating the marriage. Lieryn and Rinni watched, Rinni holding onto the rings and Lieryn spreading flower petals about. Rinni stepped forward, and Alana took one of the rings, carefully slipping it onto Westra’s finger. Westra took the other as Alana finished, starting to slip her ring onto Alana’s finger.

“I, Westra Iveliesse Stormwood, do take you, Alana Octavia Diminiski to be my lawfully wedded wife. I will promise to love you and cherish you until my dying breath. And even though my journey will be ending in a tenday’s time, this is not the end for us. Fate….fate has a funny way of working. I truly believe that you are my soul’s mate as well. That you are my person. Death will only part us momentarily, but I am yours as you are mine. Hold onto my heart as I will hold onto yours. Love, though, when I am gone. Continue to let your light shine and let others love you as you love them. Thank you for every moment of life you have given me and will continue to give me. I will live on through you. You are the one who I will always love.” Westra said. 

“You may kiss.” Gisella said. Alana pulled Westra in, wrapping her arms around Westra. Westra cupped Alana’s face with her hands, the two of them sharing their first kiss as a married couple. Lieryn and Rinni cheered, the two of them throwing flower petals at Westra and Alana. “About time, too.”

Westra and Alana pulled away from each other, glancing at the aasimar, who merely shrugged, silently referring to Westra’s deteriorating state. 

A large explosion sounded outside of the workshop, causing all of them to jump. Gisella immediately went to the door, flying out of it and closing it behind her. Alana glanced at Westra, a soft look on her face.

“Time to fight the Darkness, Captain Stormwood.” Westra said, giving Alana a devilish grin.

“That’s wifey to you.” Alana shot back, planting a kiss onto Westra’s lips. Westra kissed her back, smiling into the kiss. The two pulled away, clutching each other’s hands as all four beings moved out of the workshop. They began building up and strengthening the wards and gates Westra had already set up. Westra carefully climbed up onto Doctor Hoot as Alana climbed aboard her flying carpet, the two holding hands once they were settled upon their transportation.

“Let’s do this. Let’s fuck shit up.” Westra siad, the two of them readying spells as constructs spilled out of the workshop. 

-- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- --

At some point, Mim came and joined, but Vivienne didn’t acknowledge the half-orc. She ignored the touch that Mim offered. It was almost too much that Alana was holding onto her as she was, but Vivienne understood that Alana needed Vivienne at this time.

All of this was so foreign but so familiar at the same time. Vivienne had already lost so many that she cared for. Most of her family was gone before she turned fifteen.

But VIvienne had gone through that loss alone. 

She hadn’t talked to anyone during that time. Couldn’t talk to anyone about it. If she could grieve, it could never be in front of the monks that took her in. It had to be on her own time, but the grieving had to be constructive.

Vivienne had not seen the community mourn the loss of her family at fourteen. She never mourned with them.. 

All around her now was what Mim liked to call her ‘found family’. Samson. Isabella. Scarlet. Trace. Rhys. Volanti. Her party. Alana. Most of them were mourning. Samson was openly crying. He’d lost his little sister. Scarlet and Volanti lost one of their best friends. Alana had lost her wife.

Vivienne had lost her last sibling.

Vivienne needed to run. To get out of here and to just sob with no one else around.

Vivienne didn’t pay any mind to Rhys or Emindreda praying to Selene. She didn’t bat an eye at Trace and Volanti talking to Hallda and Zatsie. As she heard the voice of Selene in her head, Vivienne shut her out. Selene was not her god. She had failed Vivienne her entire life as it was. While Robin might not have had the power to bring Westra back, Selene did. 

She chose not to. She chose to remain to be from afar, talking in all of their heads like she had a fucking right. Vivienne did not want to hear what the false god had to say. She ignored the words, focusing only on Alana in her arms. 

Westra was dead.

Alana continued to cry in Vivienne’s arms, not particularly wanting anyone else to touch her either. She did allow for Scarlet to give comfort, but Vivienne didn’t want the touch of her friend.

She wanted her sister back.

Vivienne cried into Alana’s hair, Westra’s broken form not leaving her vision. That wasn’t how Vivienne wanted to remember her sister. She sniffled, memories of her and Westra flooding her head. Every time Westra had a nightmare or managed to get injured, it was Vivienne she sought out. Whenever Westra needed to talk out whatever was in her head, it was Vivienne she chose. Even when Vivienne yelled at her that Westra was breaking her concentration, she always listened to Westra. It was Vivienne that Westra always wanted to be around. Westra would bring whatever mechanical marvel she was working on to work outside while VIvienne trained and worked out different fighting styles with Venser.

/“Hey. Remember that time that you wanted to bake a cake? I think you were six at the time. You wanted to bake a cake for mom’s birthday, even though you hated sweets. You made everyone leave except me, because I was the responsible eleven year old. It took weeks to get cake batter out of every crevice you managed to get cake batter into.”/

Vivienne almost smiled, her mother’s laughing face dancing before her eyes. Westra had decided her next invention while the entire family helped clean up the failed experiment.

/”You made me a fox not long after that. Remember that hike through the mountain that I thought was such a great idea? We spent hours lost because you claimed to know exactly where we were going, and the fox kept running off to chase your birds. It was one of the only times you and I were able to meditate together. I wish we had a chance to take another hike like that.”/

The explosion went through Vivienne’s mind. Vivienne saw flashes of herself digging through the rubble, coughing as she tried to find any sign of life. Vivienne finding Westra’s leg and clutching it to her body as she sobbed.

/“I thought I lost you eleven years ago. I didn’t know you were alive, as you didn’t know I was alive. I searched and searched for you. Everywhere the monks travelled to, I wanted to find you there. Somehow. And the minute I heard you’re alive, I developed a plan to kill you. I almost did, Westra. It was my mission to kill you. But....i found you. And for a moment, I had my sister back and I was complete. I realized the true enemy and you...you saved me from regret. I couldn’t stay with you for long. We were fighting the war. You and I both, doing different missions but fighting for the same side in the same war. I...found you, only to lose you for real this time. I...I keep wanting to tell myself it isn’t real. That you’re going to just show up, flying around on Doctor Hoot, talking a mile a minute. But...I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t save you. You’re gone. You’re really truly gone. Gods...it’s not fucking fair! It should have fucking been me. You deserve so much more than the shit you’ve been dealt.”/

Alana shifted, pulling away slightly from Vivienne. She looked up, carefully wiping away the tears from Vivienne’s eyes. It only made Vivienne cry harder. At seeing Vivienne’s face, Alana went back to hugging the other woman, Vivienne once again resting her face into Alana's hair.

Westra was dead.

/“You fought. You fought so hard. You’re...you’re so much fucking more the hero than I am. I’m not….I don’t deserve those accolades. You do.You deserve to see the world you helped save. I wanted nothing more than to save you, Westra. To heal you. But...I understand why I couldn’t. I understand why that would throw off the balance. But that doesn’t fucking mean it’s fucking fair. Any of it. It didn’t stop me from trying, even though I knew I could never succeed.”/

Barnaby cried in Vivienne’s hair as Westra’s and Vivienne’s cats moved from out of the baby bjorn on Mim and over to where Alana and Vivienne sat. They sat beside the two of them in mournful, reverent silence. They knew Westra was gone, too.

/”Goodbye, Westra. Help Robin. Help him in the Underworld and I will do my part to help him on the mortal plane. I know your hangups. You’re not religious. Then put it into another perspective. It’s not assisting a god; it’s being there for a friend. I love you. Be good, be wise, be smart, be kind. I am sorry I couldn’t save you. I love you”/

The party began to slowly disperse. Vivienne heard Alana speaking to Mim, but didn’t pay any attention to the words that were being said. Vivienne didn’t care; she lost Westra. Westra was gone and she wasn’t going to come back.

Alana gently pulled away from Vivienne, standing up. Vivienne looked down at her gloved hands, her eyes glancing over the dirt and the blood that seemed to be so embedded into the material, that it looked like it was stitched in.

Even if Vivienne had been able to bring Westra back, Westra would have still been sick. She would have still been infected with the same mana that had poisoned her from the moment it’d hit her. She would have suffered needlessly more. And for what? So Vivienne could have her sister for a few moments?

She was selfish for even trying. For wanting to try.

Westra was dead. Vivienne couldn’t bring her back.

Vivienne rose, silent. Alana wordlessly asked to link her arm with Vivienne’s, and Vivienne accepted, realizing Alana needed her physical presence over anyone else. Vivienne let Alana lead them both to the building that Alana had emerged with Westra from earlier.

The door opened, revealing the young black girl that Westra had called her apprentice. Rinni. Her cheeks held tear tracks while her nose and her eyes were red from crying. 

“I am sorry for your loss.” Rinni said, her voice cracking. Alana shook her head, letting go of Vivienne to pull the young girl in for a hug. Rinni collapsed into Alana’s arms, the two of them sobbing all over again.

“You had a loss as well. Wes...she was your teacher. She cared for you.” Vivienne said. She moved into the workshop, letting the two of them grieve together. Doctor Hoot stood in the corner of the workshop, clicking as Vivienne entered. The clicks were knowing; heartbreak was evident in their very sound. Vivienne stopped in front of Doctor Hoot and let her hand rest on the mechanical owl’s head. “Samson’s going to take care of you now. You and Harry can be together. Westra would want you to be happy. You were more than a construct to her. All constructs were more than just constructs to her.”

Doctor Hoot clicked, the sound mournful.

Vivienne stroked the owl’s head for a few minutes, more tears slipping out of her eyes. Doctor Hoot moved closer to Vivienne, wrapping one mechanical wing around the monk, almost as if it was giving her a hug. Vivienne moved her own arms around the owl, hugging the cool metal construct close to her.

“She loved you. She loved all that she made. She loved the children here. She...gods. She fucking cared so much about everyone and everything. She could make you believe on her words alone that the world was going to get better because you wanted to make the world a better place once she was finished speaking. But...you know that. She made you.” Vivienne said. She pulled away, wiping her eyes. “I never told her how proud I was of her. I regret that. Because I am so fucking proud of her. She...she found her passion in life. She was passion incarnate. She found a family when hers was lost. She made such a difference in this world, but the songs will never sing of her. They will never talk about all that she did. She deserves all of those accolades and more. Not...not that she’d want them. Not that I want them, but I’m going to get them regardless. But...she does deserve them. She deserves to know how fucking proud of her I am. How proud of her I will always be.”

“She talked about you a lot. Both of you.” Rinni said. Vivienne turned around, seeing the young girl leading Alana into the workshop. “But especially you, Vivi. She always talked about how proud she was of her older sister and that she wished that you would see yourself through her eyes. I think she knew how proud of her you were. She would tell me about all the things she made as a child when you were around and how you always gave so much praise, even when she knew that she broke your concentration with her excitement.”

Vivienne sniffed, nodding to the younger girl. Like Trace, her eyes were older than her face. Not much older, but it looked slightly out of place.

“I’m going to go and collect the constructs from the field. The discarded armour and weapons. I’ve got some work to do before Dove comes and collects me.” Rinni said. 

“We’ll be going off together. You, Cirhi, and I.” Vivienne said softly so that only Rinni heard. She hadn’t told Alana that she was going to leave her party or about Cirhi yet. No one knew about Cirhi except for Trace and Isabella. Vivienne had sent them both letter after letter, never expecting a reply back. They were the only ones who knew that Vivienne was in love with Cirhi and was planning on taking a journey with Cirhi and Rinni.

Rinni nodded, offering Vivienne a watery smile. “I look forward to it, Vivi.” She said. She gently squeezed Alana’s hand before letting the other woman go. Doctor Hoot clicked, moving forward, picking up one of Westra’s bags off of the stool it had been sitting on. She moved to Rinni’s side, and the two of them exited the workshop, closing the door behind them.

Vivienne exhaled, looking around the workshop for the first time since entering it. Mechanical marvels were /everywhere/. The shelves were lined with various creations, as well as spare parts and books of all kinds. Westra’s desk was covered in scrolls, books, and tools. Her half finished coffee sat there, as well as a blunt, as if just waiting for her to come back and enjoy both. Various books were open on the desk, covered in Westra’s writing. 

On one of the shelves was a glass orb with a detailed mizzium base. There is a tag attached to one of the legs that reads ‘To Kaida’, but that is the only word on it. Inside the orb, tiny mechanical wrens tweeted a lullaby that Cordelia used to sing. The song was soft and sad, almost bleak until hope came at the end. Tiny mechanical dragons chased each other around. At the bottom of the orb, a scene of mechanical beings that represented all of their friends and family watched the dragon show in the sky. A representation of Kaida and Kallist sat in the middle of all of them. Vivienne almost smiled, seeing a representation of herself on the dragon form of Grima. He beat his mechanical wings and blinked all six of his eyes as he rose into the air, joining the chase with Vivienne on his back.

Vivienne picked up the piece, a fresh wave of tears slipping down her cheeks. The orb nor the base were heavy, but magic rippled inside of it. Like everything Westra crafted, it was clearly made with love. As the lullaby concluded, the tiny dragons all let out a mighty roar and the mechanical beings inside settled into their seats. The orb went still, waiting to be wound up once again.

She carefully wrapped the piece in a thick blanket to protect it on her journey. She would make sure that Kaida received the music orb that Westra had made for her. Vivienne set it into her bag, making sure it wouldn’t be jostled or crushed. She moved away from the shelf and quietly about the room. 

Sitting on one of the stools was a mechanical fox. Vivienne's mechanical fox that Westra had made for her. The last time Vivienne had seen it, the fox had been smashed to pieces due to trying to protect Vivienne. It sat there now, clicking softly as she approached it. 

"Tails." Vivienne called out softly. The fox perked, tilting its head slightly as its tail began to swish wildly back and forth. It leaped up and off of the stool, right into Vivienne's arms. She hugged the mechanical fox to her body, more tears slipping out of her eyes.

Westra fixed her fox. 

She fixed Vivienne's fox, knowing that Vivienne wouldn't have found Tails until after Westra was already dead. 

Vivienne set the fox down and it sat to her right, tail still swishing.

"She wanted to surprise you with that. It was one of the last things she worked on." Alana said. From her shoulder, a small mechanical hummingbird chirped, a mournful tune emitting from the bird.

Alana moved to Vivienne’s side, tentatively resting a hand on Vivienne’s arm. Both of them were crying again. Vivienne gently wrapped her arm around Alana, and the other woman took the embrace, wrapping an arm around Vivienne.

Clicking filled the workshop as various tiny mechanical spiders as well as mechanical wrens all seemed to be speaking in unison. The sound was heartbreaking. While Vivienne didn’t know their language like Westra did, she could recognize the sad song they all sang. They were honoring their lost mother.

They knew Westra was dead.

Alana and Vivienne stood together for a few moments, the two of them silent and crying; Alana resting her head on Vivienne’s arm. While she wasn’t as sick as Westra was, Alana was sick, too. The inky black mana was starting to stain her veins, turning them a sickly grey color on her skin. Her breathing was slightly laboured, and it had nothing to do with her crying.

The two wordlessly drifted apart as they both went over to the desk. Alana took the blunt and lit it, putting it to her lips.

“To Westra.” She said simply as she exhaled a cloud of smoke. She took a second hit before passing the blunt to Vivienne.

“To Westra.” Vivienne agreed, taking her own hit.

-- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- --

Lieryn knew the moment Westra took her last breath, though she wasn’t in the room for the exact moment. She could see the faint outline of the memory orb as it raced to her, bouncing into the book she carried in her bag. The last of Westra’s memories filled the pages, the book expanding as the memories filled the pages. They, along with all the other archived memories and souls here today would go straight to Robin, cutting off any and all ties that Lieryn had with the Raven Queen in the act of defiance. 

As Robin called her to his side, Lieryn went, taking in the party. They looked relatively unhurt, all things considered. The worst hurt seemed to be the moon elf, the dragonborn, and Vivienne. The monk looked the worst hurt of all of them.

/”She fell during battle.”/ 

/”She considered not coming back.”/

/”The ravens will descend upon her soon, should she continue the path that she is on.”/

“Lieryn.” Robin said quietly. “Will you assist me in collecting those who have fallen and help me take them to the Underworld?”

This collection was to be much different than how she normally collected the souls. Westra herself was going to be taken by Robin; he’d already informed the shadar-kai as such, but more so in the way that he needed to be the one to bring her to rest.

She nodded, moving about the field like a ghost. She rested a hand on each of the kids, their bodies rising. Though only she and Robin could actually see their bodies moving, they were very much still dead. This animation of their bodies was merely so they could make it to the Underworld and then be healed by the clerics who aided Robin.

Lieryn wondered briefly if Vivienne would join their ranks when she passed on. She was close with the god, and Lieryn could see the hurt in the death god’s eyes as he walked over to Vivienne and Alana. It was real, genuine sadness; he was also calling a friend to rest, but he was also watching one of his close friends lose her sister.

Lieryn had to look away as she moved over to the body of Venser. VIvienne had done a number on him, the imprint of her knuckles embedded into his flesh. The sword he had carried rested now at Vivienne’s side, almost singing as it seemed to be purified of the evil that had tainted Venser.

She placed a hand on Venser’s shoulder, his form rising as he trailed at least fifty feet behind the children. Bodies of dead elves and fae acted as a barrier between Venser and the kids, keeping the evil contained. His judgement would be the worst of all of those here for the crimes he’d committed. For the atrocities he wrought. Lieryn caught Vivienne’s haunted eyes, and she closed her own light grey eyes for a moment.

She opened them back up, her eyes falling on Rem’s prone figure. Pain ripped through her as the feeling of wanting to sob for hours on end filled her. Rem was her brother, even if they weren’t siblings in the traditional sense. He cared for her like an older brother would, and she cared for him as a little sister would.

/”I understand your grief. I, too, have lost a sibling today. I...I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for making sure that you kept his remains safe.”/

Lieryn squatted down, lifting the coins off of Rem’s eyes. She placed them into her pocket before hugging his lifeless form to her chest, Tears slipped out of her eyes as she held onto him for a while, not listening as Hallda yelled at Robin on Vivienne’s behalf.

“You are free of her. Free of the corruption they infected you with. I am going to bring you somewhere that you can rest. Do not worry about me, Rem. I will find my way. I will miss you with everything that I am, but I will find my way. Find your rest, big brother. Come. Let me take you home.”

Lieryn rose and Rem’s body rose with her. She clutched his hand in her own, bringing up the rear of the line of the dead. She, however, would return once delivering the group to the Underworld whereas the rest of them would not. Their memories were archived and ready to live on in the world, making it so that they seemingly still were alive, even if they weren’t actually.

She nodded as she passed Vivienne, who gave her a nod and a broken look in return. Lieryn and Rem continued to follow the group, Lieryn leading her brother to the Underworld.

/”I’m sorry for your loss, shadar-kai.”/ Vivienne messaged back. She buried her face into Alana’s hair, her shoulder’s shaking.

-- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- ---- -- -- -- --

The two didn’t talk much as they moved about the workshop, sharing the blunt and hugs whenever it seemed like Alana needed them. They both went through the copious amount of journals, the majority of them written in Vedalken. They were notes upon notes about her ideas and various creations, as well as notes on so many other things. Ideas and words practically flowed from the pages as Vivienne and Alana flipped through them.

“She always did love to talk a lot.” Vivienne remarked, closing another journal. She picked up one she recognized as her own. It was full of notes on the corruption and medicine in general, but it had additions. Westra’s tiny chicken scratch was over every page in the margins and on the sides, as well as page numbers at the bottom of each page. There was a note that referenced two other journals, full of Westra’s writing, referencing Vivienne’s journal. Vivienne let out a laugh, unable to help herself. Alana looked up, and Vivienne showed her. Alana cracked a smile before letting out her own laugh.

“She did that with Scarlet’s journals as well.” Alana said, holding up four books. She handed them to Vivienne. “I think you should take them. The work journals, I’m sure Rinni will appreciate. As well as these scrolls and tools. It looks like Westra was making spells and potions while here. Trust her not to rest while she’s too sick to move.”

Vivienne snorted, putting the books Alana gave her, as well as the three she had discovered in her own bag. Alana grabbed a journal with her name on it, skimming through. A soft smile sat upon her lips, tears still slipping out of her eyes.

Vivienne kept looking through the other books, finding a book with her own name on it. She picked it up, skimming through. This was written in Sylvan, only a few notes written in Vedalken, as if Westra forgot that her sister didn’t speak the language. From what Vivienne read, this seemed to be full of letters from when the explosion happened to just before they’d been reunited. The letters continued into two other journals. Same with Alana, it seemed.

There were other books still. Books with Scarlet’s name on them contained notes and theories on medicine and magic, as well as science. Books with Samson’s name on them had notes on mechanics and magic. Volanti’s was notes on nature, poisons, antidotes, and potions in general. To Trace, she had theories on magic and the world in general. Alana found more journals addressed to herself and immediately put them into her own bag. There were two journals for Lieryn that Vivienne didn’t open, but left on the desk for the shadar-kai to find. Another journal still was labeled Rem, and Vivienne left it on the desk with the books addressed to Lieryn. There was a book written entirely in Vedalken that had Jace’s name on the front of it. Vivienne grabbed the book and added it to her bag, as well as the journals addressed to herself.

The last set of books were addressed to someone named Iffni. There were at least six books with his name scrawled across them, all with Westra’s tiny writing. They were full of notes on history as well as random information that devolved into theories and ideas. There was also a Vedlken dictionary in the stack, as if to help whoever this Iffni was to translate her various notes in Vedalken.

“Do you know someone named Iffni?” Alana asked, watching as Vivienne ran her fingers over the tomes. Vivienne scrunched up her face, trying to remember.

“Before the explosion, I vaguely remember a tiefling that Westra spent time with. They talked nonstop and it seemed that they could finish each other’s sentences, devolving into theory after theory. I never saw him after the explosion, though. I...I don’t even know if he is alive, to be honest. But...I can take these, if you want. If I find him, I can give them to him.” Vivienne said slowly. Alana nodded, letting Vivienne put the tomes in her bag.

Vivienne moved away from the desk, walking around the workshop. There was a small aether generator in the corner, cycling aether and creating it. Vivienne swallowed, flashes of the explosion filling her mind. 

“Westra wrote to me when she made that. It...it was not an easy decision for her to come to in making it. After all, a faulty, corrupted aether generator was the cause of the original explosion.” Alana said, moving over to where Vivienne was. “But in the end, she realized that she could get more work done and teach her creations to also build if she had one.” 

“How did she get all of this done?” Vivienne said, glancing around. “I know my sister is...was a genius. A prodigy, even. But this is years and years of work done in months.”

Alana pulled out another blunt, lighting it for the two of them. “She told me once that Avacyn let her work outside of time. That she would use her magic so that time stopped around Westra for hours at a time, letting Westra have tendays of time in that span. She had mechanical beings to help her build and create. It sped the mana corruption up in Westra, though. The aether poisoning as well. She might have had more time, had she not done that, but we both know exactly how stubborn you both are.” Alana said. She took her second hit and passed the blunt to Vivienne, who took it. “She...do you know she made me an airship? So that I could travel. It’s...it’s sitting in one of the other buildings.”

She pulled a black and silver ticket out of her bag, stamped with the word Eberron on the front of it. Vivienne glanced at it as she took her two hits of the blunt. Magic radiated off of the ticket, as if the ticket itself was the spell that would shift Alana and the ship that Alana mentioned to this place called Eberron. Alana put the ticket back into her bag.

“It leaves in a tenday. I don’t have to take it. It’s merely an option. The airship, The Songbird, will work here, too.” Alana continued. Vivienne glanced at Alana, picking Alana’s captain hat off of the stool it rested on. She held it out to the princess who smiled softly.

“Well, Captain Diminski. What do you want to do?” Vivienne asked.

“That’s Captain Stormwood to you.” Alana shot back, gently taking the hat from Vivienne. She placed it up on her head, taking the blunt that Vivienne offered back. She took a hit, exhaling slowly. “If I’m going anywhere, I’m bringing you and all of our friends with me.”

She took another hit of the blunt before handing it back to Vivienne. The older woman took it, smiling softly. 

“I appreciate that, Alana, but I have work to do here. A lot of work to do here, actually. Not necessarily in this particular place, but on this plane.” Vivienne said softly. Alana nodded, linking her arm with Vivienne’s.

“I’m not ready to leave this plane yet, either.” Alana said. “Not until everyone knows Westra’s name and the good that she did here and for this plane.”

“To Westra.” Vivienne said, taking a hit before passing the blunt back to Alana. Alana took the blunt, nodding and taking her own hit.

“To Westra.” She echoed. 

---

Vivienne was going to leave the party tonight. 

It wasn't the first time she had planned to leave, but this time she wasn't going to be persuaded. Last time, the party hadn't been wrong to stop her. 

It had been an attempt at a suicide mission. 

/"I am not a good person either. I never claimed to be. You’re humoring me by letting me be the party’s pet human pretending to be an elf with a temper tantrum. I will take my leave and hopefully save you guys in the process."/

She had still had hope at that point, that Westra could have been saved. That Venser would do everything in his power to save his niece. That the organization might have had, if not a shred of humanity left in them, that they would have seen the level of power that Westra brought and would have wanted to preserve that. 

Vivienne and Westra would have worked together to escape, just as their parents had. And Venser…

She'd been blinded by her own biases. She'd been blinded by thinking that she could save Westra. By thinking Venser could be saved as well. 

It would have been a suicide mission. 

There was a knock on Vivienne’s door as the moon rose high in the sky. Her bags were packed--Tails sitting its own separate bag--and she was ready to steal away into the night. The staff of healing, as well as the bag with the orb sat on the bed, waiting to be delivered to their new and rightful owners.

Vivienne opened the door, revealing Hallda standing outside of it. Vivienne let the dwarf in, closing the door behind her.

“I’m still really, really angry about what happened and I am very angry at Robin. I wrote a song and recorded it on the device your sister gave me. Want to hear it?” Hallda exclaimed.

Vivienne nodded, holding her hand out to gently stop Hallda for a moment. “I would. But...I have something I need to say first. Something important.” Vivienne started. Hallda nodded, quieting so that VIvienne could speak. She took a deep breath. “I’m leaving. I’m leaving the party.”

Hallda didn’t say anything, waiting for Vivienne to continue. Out of all of her party, Vivienne actually trusted Hallda the most with personal information. She’d figured out Vivienne’s asexuality without Vivienne having to say a word. She understood Vivienne’s aversion to relationships without Vivienne mentioning it. While the party respected Vivienne for how she was, Hallda and Mim really seemed to be the ones to not only notice it but enforce it so that Vivienne remained feeling safe.

“I...I need to find myself. I need to find a god that isn’t temporary because Robin can’t technically be my god. I need to figure out my faith in general, because it was a mess before I had completely lost it. I need to be able to understand myself and the jumble of emotions that I have. I...I want to bury my sister, or at least my father’s sword. When I’m ready to go back to Ashbourne, that is.” Vivienne continued. She paused, taking advantage of Hallda’s silence. “I...I understood why things happened the way that they did. I’m not mad about it. Really, I’m not. It had to be the way that it was, even if it is my job as a cleric to prevent that.”

“But, I am still really angry with him.” Hallda pointed out. Vivienne shook her head.

“It’s not his fault. Please don’t blame him. He did everything in his power that he could do. He has balance that he needs to maintain. He’s done far more for me than any other god has done. He’s cared. He’s listened. He’s allowed me to assist when he’s needed assistance. It’s been a friendship. I’m...please don’t be angry.” Vivienne said.

“I don’t blame him for killing her. I’m mad because he wouldn’t allow her to come back.” Hallda replied.

“I know. But, he couldn’t. And I understand that. I hate it, but I understand it. Westra was sick. Really sick. I couldn’t let her suffer anymore, Hallda. Even if I had brought her back, she’d still have the sickness that there isn’t a cure for right now. She’d suffer more and more, and for what? Don’t be angry with him.” Vivienne said.

“Okay. Well, I’m not going to lie to you because you’ll know that I am. I’m going to be angry, though.” Hallda said. She pressed the recording into VIvienne’s hands. “Take it. You can tell whoever you want to fuck off! Not that you need help with that. Are...you’re going to come back, right? When you’re done?”

Vivienne nodded. “I want to make sure that the door is open for me to. That I haven’t burned all my bridges. That I can reach out to you if I...this is really hard for me to say, but if I do need...help.” She said. She paused. “I do plan on coming back. I just need time.”

“Okay. I’m going to miss you.” Hallda said. Vivienne swallowed, shakily holding up her arms.

“May I give you a hug?” She asked, her voice soft. She didn’t realize it until Hallda said it, but she was going to miss the dwarf, too. A lot.

“I don’t know. Can you?” Hallda asked. Vivienne bit her lip. Maybe she wasn’t going to miss her that much. She faltered slightly. “I’m kidding. Come here.” 

The two shared a tentative hug, Vivienne still not used to the whole notion of it. She quickly let go of the dwarf, moving to the bed and grabbing the staff and the bag with the orb in it. While Vivienne did trust Hallda with the staff, Hallda generally had her hands full with her instrument. Alana could use it, though.

The two left the room, Hallda going back off to her own room, and Vivienne going over to Mim’s room. She carefully knocked on the door, hoping the half-orc was still awake. The door opened a minute later, revealing Mim and a bed covered in cats, one of them being Zatsie in cat form. Vivienne immediately began to sneeze and her eyes watered and itched as she walked in, closing the door behind her. Zatsie jumped off the bed and trotted over to Vivienne, circling her legs and letting his tail drag on her legs. Vivienne took a handkerchief out of her pocket and dropped it on Zatsie’s head, smiling softly. Her allergies were still acting up, but it was amusing seeing a ghost cat walking around.

Vivienne took the bag with the orb in it and handed it to Mim. “Thank you for entrusting me to hold onto this and be the protector of it. But, I think it should go to you.”

“You’re leaving.” Mim replied astutely. Vivienne nodded, having no reason to lie to Mim. 

Mim pulled out a bag of joints, filled with her own blend of pot and handed it to Vivienne as she took the bag with the orb. She also took off her Harpers’ pin, which Vivienne let Mim pin onto her shinobi, mentally promising to cherish it forever. She gently touched the front of it, giving a monk’s bow to Mim.

Zatsie jumped up onto the bed and used his claw to draw a glittering heart, the heart appearing in the air in front of him, shimmering. Vivienne’s soft smile grew a bit as she traced a few runes onto her palm, an anatomical representation of a beating heart appearing before her.

“You’re not the only one who knows minor illusion, Zatsie.” Vivienne said, She offered a tentative, short hug to Mim, who returned it. As Vivienne pulled away, she noticed her hairless cat, as well as Westra’s, staring up at her.

“You’re going to stay here with Mim. Or Alana. Take care of her. She’s going to need you to.” Vivienne said, squatting down to where the cats were. She let them sniff her hand before giving each of them a soft scritch on the head. “Westra’s not coming back, and...there isn’t going to be room for you on my journey. I’m sorry. But, I’ll be back. If that’s okay.”

Mim nodded, as if answering Vivienne’s question. Vivienne straightened up, swallowing the forming lump in her throat. With another short bow, Vivienne left the room before Trace could transform back into human form. 

She needed to be alone. As much as she cared for them and as happy as she was that they were back, they were not Westra.

She needed to grieve alone.

Vivienne slipped into the hallway and over to Elmindreda’s room, choosing the harder of her two remaining party members to visit first. Vivienne knocked on Elmindreda’s door, and the elf answered, a book in hands. 

“I wanted to let you know that I’m leaving. Tonight. But, I wanted to stop by first to see you to thank you for trusting me and for always being reliable. Thank you for leading the party, even though you weren’t always clear on the direction.” Vivienne started. She didn’t enter Elmindreda’s room, choosing instead to remain in the hallway. “I heard you made a pact with a god. Do you know what that deal entails?”

“I did. I don’t know what her terms are.” Elmindreda confirmed. 

Vivienne nodded. “Just...a word of advice. She’s going to take everything from you, the Raven Queen. She’s going to take all of your memories and everything that makes you who you are, just for that one favor. I need you to realize the reality of it and the gravitas of it. I...I can understand why you did what you did, but...yeah. I wish you the best.” She said. As angry as she was at both Elmindreda and Zealous for taking the deal that the Raven Queen had offered to them, she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t take the deal for them so that they wouldn’t have to lose even more.

“I wish you nothing but the best and good luck on your journey.” Elmindreda said. 

“Do me a favor. Watch over those idiots. They need you. They...they would be lost without you, and I think I would be sad if anything happened to them. Even if they all are idiots.” Vivienne replied. Elmindreda nodded, agreeing with Vivienne’s favor.

Vivienne gave her a monk’s bow before heading over to see Zealous. She pulled a thick tome from her bag, one that she’d used to gain valuable wisdom that she hadn’t had before. The book wouldn’t be able to be read for a hundred years, but dragonborn lived for a long time. Zealous would eventually be able to read it.

She knocked on Zealous’ door, the door opening almost immediately. “I want to give you something. Something you’ll eventually be able to use. This book is what helped me. In about a hundred years or so, the power will return to it, and you will become wiser.” Vivienne said, handing the old tome over to Zealous. Zealous carefully took the book and hugged it tightly to her chest, giving a fond, warm look to Vivienne. 

“I will cherish this so I can learn to become as good a doctor as you.” Zealous exclaimed. “But why are you giving me this? Are you leaving?”

“I am. Hey. Zealous. Don’t become a doctor because of me. Become what you want to become. Do what you want to do.” Vivienne said. 

“But I’m already a god!” Zealous replied. “Are you going to come back? You know I’m here if you ever need someone to get their hands dirty so you don’t have to.”

“You...yeah. You are. But, you’re more than that. Seriously. Follow your own dream and do what you want to do. Follow your own path to what makes you happy. Don’t chase my dream of being a doctor. Chase your own dreams because you are who is going to make you happy.” Viivienne replied. She smiled at Zealous, waving her gloved hand. “It’s okay. I’ve got gloves for that purpose. But...yeah. I’ll be back. I just need time.”

“You’re always such a jokester, Vivi!” Zealous said. She hugged the book, gave Vivienne a look, and hugged the book tightly to her chest again. Vivienne pretended to scoff but opened her arms to the dragonborn, and the two shared a brief but gentle hug.

Vivienne let Zealous return to her room and moved down the hall to her final stop. She was planning on leaving after seeing Alana and talking to the woman. If she let any of her other friends know she was leaving, they’d want to come with. Or, they’d follow her, and Vivienne didn’t want to be with anyone. Not for a while. Cirhi and Rinni would be the exceptions, and Vivienne still needed the tenday alone to process.

Westra was dead. She wasn’t coming back. Vivienne would never get to see or talk to her little sister again.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

/”You have the audacity to call me your champion after watching as I lost more people. Rem. My sister. My little sister who was probably the best person out there, and you fucking let her die. Robin couldn’t have done anything because of the balances, but you fucking could have. Hallda is wrong to be mad at Robin. It should be you that she’s angry with. But you’re going to come off as the victor in all this. With all your little champions who sing your fucking praises. You don’t deserve them. Any of them.”/

Vivienne took a careful breath before knocking on Alana’s door. 

“Come in, Vivi.” Alana called from in the room. Vivienne opened the door, giving Alana a look. The other woman just gave her a look and Vivienne closed the door behind her, Alana lighting a blunt. Alana waved Vivienne next to her and the monk crossed the room, joining Alana in sitting on the bed. “I heard you outside of Elmindreda and Zealous’ rooms. For being someone who prides herself on sneaking, you’re being very obvious.”

“I wasn’t trying to sneak.” Vivienne replied. Alana took her second hit and passed the blunt to Vivienne, exhaling as she did so. Vivienne took the blunt and took a hit. “Well. You know why I’m here. I’m leaving my party. I...I need time.”

“As I expect that you would.” Alana said gently. Vivienne took her second hit and passed the blunt back. “But, why are you coming to tell me? I’m...yes I am part of your family now, but I notice you haven’t gone to Samson or Scarlet or Volanti or Rhys. You also haven’t gone to Isabella. What’s going on?”

Alana took a hit, exhaling slowly. Vivienne carefully pulled the staff of healing from off of her back and handed it to Alana, who took it and stared at it.

“I’m not a cleric. I don’t heal people. I’m a diplomat. I do the talking and I do magic. You’re a healer, Vivi.” Alana said. “I don’t understand why I would need this.”

“Join the party. I realize that you are grieving. That adventuring is going to be the last thing on your mind. But, you have the same corruption that Westra had, and it’s eventually going to kill you. I need to stop that before it happens. I need to clear a man’s name before he loses everything. I need to….I need to accept that Robin can’t be my god. Temporary or not temporary. But I also know I can’t go to Selene. That’s akin to going to the Raven Queen, and trust me; I tried talking to her, too. She turned my feather grey with pink streaks.” Vivienne started. “You are a diplomat. You could use the good of the party around you. They will help you heal. They will….gods they’re idiots but they will help you find the happiness that you think is gone. They’ll remind you of the hope you have buried deep inside of you.”

Alana set the staff down, passing the blunt to Vivienne, who took it. “And what about you? Who is going to be with you while you’re traveling? You...you can’t be alone, Vivi. I know a bit of your past. What you’ve told me. We share similarities. Painful similarities. You were alone when you lost everyone the first time, but this time there are people who need you, too. We...we all lost her, Vivi. Grieve with your family that you’ve made. You might have lost family but you’ve gained so many new members.” Alana said. “She’d want you to be with people. She’d want you to be with the family you both made.”

Fresh tears streaked down both of their faces and Vivienne gave a shaky exhale as she passed the blunt to Alana. “I won’t be travelling alone. I need some time away, though. I...I don’t know how to grieve with others. How to just...talk. I can’t. Being this vulnerable...Alana, I need to leave. Without the others knowing. I promise you, though, I will only be alone for a tenday. That will give me enough time to grieve and process on my own, which I need.” Vivienne replied. 

Alana took the blunt, giving Vivienne a soft look. “Will you at least let me know who you are travelling with? If I am to accept your offer of joining yours and Westra’s old party, I would like to know of the party you’re making, seeing as you’re not telling any of our found family.” Alana shot back.

Vivienne smirked. “Fine. In a tenday, I will be meeting with an old criminal contact and friend of mine. She goes by Dove. You might hear me call her Cirhi on occasion, because that’s her actual name. Westra gave her some guns in exchange for a promise. That Cirhi would come and collect Rinni from the workshop and take her on her journey, wherever that was, so the two of them would have each other. Since I have a path, I invited Cirhi and she will be here in a tenday.”  She replied. Alana took the blunt from Vivienne and put it out. 

“And Cirhi. Who is she?” Alana asked, an eyebrow raising slightly. “An old friend, huh? I remember Westra mentioning her. She was looking for her sister and her murderous girlfriend. Well, ex, from what it sounded like. She mentioned you a lot, actually. But almost as if she knew you better than a friend.”

“You’re reaching. You’re trying to get me to talk more, aren’t you?” Vivienne shot back.

“I am a social person, Vivi. I noticed your eyes light up when you mentioned Cirhi. Your demeanor changed. You became softer. Like you had a moment of hope and happiness. She’s more than a friend to you, isn’t she?” Alana replied. Vivienne was quiet for a moment before nodding.

“I want to her to be. I...I’m in love with her. And, I think she loves me, too. I am terrified of the thought of relationships and being with someone, but I want to try with her. I...I want to be the one who she wakes up next to in the morning. Who will love her no matter what. Who will be there for her, even when the situation is at its bleakest. I want to build my life with her in it.” Vivienne said. Alana smiled wistfully. 

“Be safe. Be good. Be smart. Be kind. Be wise.” Alana said, gently taking Vivienne’s hands into her own. Vivienne gave a soft sigh.

“Right back at you, Captain Stormwood.” Vivienne said. She removed her hands from Alana’s and the two embraced, holding tight for a long while.

“She really, truly loved you, Alana. I’m sorry that you couldn’t spend your life with her. That it was cut short by something I...something that no one could fix. That she was too sick to see the world heal once again. I would give anything to change that. I tried. I would have sacrificed everything to save her.” Vivienne said. Alana sniffled, tears slipping down her face and onto Vivienne’s shinobi. 

They both were quiet for a moment before Alana began to speak again.

“I lost my wife, but you lost your sister. We both lost someone who mattered deeply to us. Who will always matter deeply to us. I’m sorry you didn’t get your chance to be with her one last moment. But...Vivi...thank you for everything you did do. I know you don’t want to hear it and think that you don’t deserve to hear it, but you do. And you should hear it often. Thank you for everything you’re going to continue to do. She’s proud of you. And….I know she knows you were proud of her as well. In the stories she told me about the two of you, she would always describe this look you would get on your face when you thought she wasn’t watching. I saw it, too, when you and the party saved us from Frost. And when we recovered in the caves. She knew.” Alana said. She hugged Vivienne tighter. “Go. Before I change my mind. I better receive a letter a tenday from you. I need to know you are safe. That...that you don’t slip into your old habits.”

Vivienne was quiet as Alana spoke, crying. She sniffled, pulling away from Alana. “I won’t.” Vivienne lied, replying only to Alana’s last statement. She moved off the bed and over to the door. “Take care, Alana. I’ll send you a letter once Cirhi and I are reunited and of where we plan to go, as well as a letter a tenday.”

Alana smiled. “Good. And, hey. Make sure you keep in contact with your found family. I won’t tell them you’ve gone, but they’re going to know. They’re going to worry. They’re going to want to know you’re okay, Vivi. Especially with how damn hurt you are. How much you’ve lost. I really shouldn���t let you go, you know. In good faith. But...I’m trusting you. I’m trusting you at your word. Please. Don’t let your hurt consume you.” She said. She stood up as Vivienne opened the door. Vivienne walked out of it, giving Alana a sad look.

“I’ll be okay. I need time. Alone. I need to be alone.” Vivienne said. Alana rolled her eyes.

“You know, for someone as wise as you, you’d think you’d realize how wrong that statement is.” Alana said. Vivienne ignored her and continued to walk down the hall.

It would break Vivienne too much to say goodbye to the others. Even if they didn’t try to stop her or accompany her or follow her, the fact of saying goodbye was too much right now. They were doing their own grieving. Vivienne didn’t want to be the reminder of the Stormwood that everyone lost.

She began to trace the runes for pass without trace, as well as preparing to jump into the shadows as she exited the building.

She was met by two figures atop two giant mounts. To the right was the Summer Queen, looking haughty and distant on a giant stag. Vivienne raised an eyebrow but said nothing, abandoning the spell. To her left was the Winter King, sitting atop a giant white wolf. Vivienne’s eyes and throat began to itch slightly,  but less so than when she was around all of the cats.

“You are leaving.” The Winter King said.

“I am. I need to.” Vivienne replied. While he was ice and cold, he was still warmer than the Summer Queen. Vivienne would choose to interact with the Winter King over the Summer Queen any day of the week. 

“Where are you to go?” He asked. He didn’t sound as gruff and as hard as normal. Vivienne looked up at him, recognizing the younger version of him in his old eyes. This Myr was pure ice, but it wasn’t as cold as it normally was.

/”He lost a sibling, too. He knows how it feels. He probably lost parents, too. He might be the only one left of his family, just as you are the only one left of yours.”/

“To clear the name of Jayt and to find a cure for Alana before she succumbs to a corruption that we haven’t made a cure yet for.” Vivienne said. She unhooked the ice sword from her belt, handing it up to the Winter King. “I tried once to give this back to you, but you rebuked me. I think the sword should go back with who it belongs to.”

Myr took the sword. “Thank you.” He said simply. He froze the metal, turning the sword into a giant piece of pure ice that he slammed into stone, shattering it into pieces. Vivienne could practically see the demon that had been inside of it vanish into a puff of smoke. The Winter King got down off of the white wolf and gently placed his hand onto the wolf. “Take Hrid for the first part of your journey. Though you are fast, he is also fast and will be able to give you transportation as well as company.”

Vivienne gave a deep, formal bow that even Elmindreda would have been proud of as the wolf padded over to Vivienne. Vivienne gave a short monk’s bow to the Summer Queen, more out of understanding that the Queen would be slighted if Vivienne didn’t show at least a modicum of respect. 

She let the wolf sniff her, sneezing slightly as she carefully climbed up, taking a seat on the wolf’s back. She adjusted her bags, making sure that it wasn’t too much weight on the wolf and that she also had her bag of holding, as well as her father’s sword. Both were hanging off of her belt still. She nodded, resting her hands on Hrid’s fur. 

“Take me away. I don’t know where yet. I just...I need to be away from here.” Vivienne said softly, only loud enough for the wolf to hear. As if he understood her, the wolf took off, carrying Vivienne off into the night.

[mycatshuman]

Masterlist

So Alone

Virgil feels so alone all of the time. At first, playing the bad guy was fun, but now?

Pre-Accepting Anxiety

Based on the song So Alone by Anna Blue.

Warnings: suicide attempt. Please let me know if I should add more

Silent Scream Part 1 | Part 2

Virgil doesn't want to be the bad guy. Why can't the others hear his silent scream?

Based on the song Silent Scream by Anna Blue

Warnings: mentions of self harm, nightmares panic attack, anxiety

Am I Supposed To Apologize?

Roman doesn't understand why his mother acted like that.

Based on the song Am I supposed to apologize? by Maria Mena

Warnings: Abandonment issues? And if there’s any more please let me know.

Black Roses Red

Virgil loves Roman. But doesn't think Roman loves him. He just wants some color in his life. Can Roman give it?

Pairings: Prinxiety

Loosely based on the song Black Roses Red by Alana Grace.

Warnings: I don’t think there’s anything bad, if there is anything please let me know so I can warn people.

The Curse

Roman goes to the creepy mansion to play music for the man who lives there. They become friends.

Yeah, this one was terrible. I'm thinking of redoing it.

Pairings: hinted Prinxiety and Logicality?

Based on the song The Curse from Rigoletto

Warnings: I don’t think there is anything to warn against. If you find anything please let me know. 

Dark Hood

Chapter fic: discontinued.

A vampire/robin hood/vampire hunter fic. I really don't know. Its not good.

Pairings: Prinxiety? Logicality?

Warnings on each chapter.

Unforgiving Waters

These cold waters are Unforgiving. They take and take. 

Pairings: Prinxiety

Word count: 4, 831

Warnings: death, drowning, sinking, panic attack, let me know if I missed any, please

Prinxiety Lover

This oneshot is based on a video my friend sent me. The video is called Butter Lover and it is hilarious. And if you watch, you have to watch til the end. Very end. Here's the link https://youtu.be/yKGeJXk2qWQ

Anyway, Roman works at a boring gas station in the middle of nowhere when a rougish stranger comes in and buys a stick of butter. The stranger was very handsome and Roman didn't think much of their future until he comes in for more butter. But one question strays away from all his gay thoughts, what is the man doing with all this butter?

Word count: 1,460

Parings: I don’t think I have to say.

Warnings: language, slight nsfw mention I guess? Let me know if I missed any.

A Half Empty Shell | A Half Full Shell

Vent fic that got a sequel with a happy ending.

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: angst

The Demonologists

This is a Sanders Sides Au based on The Conjuring Universe. So please, if you can not handle things like that please refrain from reading further. Warnings for each chapter will be posted in the notes.

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Warnings on each chapter

Chaptered fic: in progress

Word count so far: 8,090

Die Schere Hand

What happens when Patton brings down a man with scissors for hands to his home that he shares with his friend Roman and crush Logan?

This was a Halloween Special fic

Chaptered fic: Finished.

Word Count: 16,619

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Warnings on each chapter

Dreaming Of Snow

A White Christmas Sanders Sides Au.

Starring

Virgil as Virgil Wallace

Logan as Logan Davis

Thomas as General Thomas Sanders

Patton as Patton Haynes

Roman as Roman Haynes

Deceit as Schlange Harrison

Joan as themselves

Talyn as themselves

And Emile Picani and Remy!

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Word Count: 18,670

Warnings on each chapter

Castle Of Devils

Roman works part time as a realtor with his childhood best friend and boss, Logan Sanders. Now he's being sent to an all expenses paid trip to a region in Romania called Transylvania to help a men purchase a home in America and learn the culture and customs. Before he can even make it to Castle Dracula, a cashier in a local gas station warns him of devils in the castle and gives him a cross to ward of the evil as he promises to slay the best. However, when he finally meets his host, Virgil Stoker, he finds himself confused and crushing. 

Why do the locals think its a castle of devils? 

What's up with Virgil? 

Will Roman trust him?

Chaptered fic: in progress

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety

Warnings on each chapter

Word count so far: 10,518

The Gilmore Gays

This is a Sanders Sides au based on the 7 season series the Gilmore Girls. It includes eventually Prinxiety and eventual logicality. It will possibly be more dialogue than anything and some Gilmore girls characters will remain the same. Not everything will follow the script completely. Any warnings will be posted at the notes before the chapter.

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety

Chapter fic: in progress, slow going

Word count so far: 7,322

It Can't Be Over

Virgil doesn't think he's good enough for Roman. He decided to set him free so he can be better.

Based on the song It Can't Be Over from Monster High.

Angst with happy ending

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: angst

Word count: 1,668

I Don't Have To

Based on the one moment from Sherlock.

This oneshot implies Prinxiety. Kind of a College Au almost. Anyway, there is a flashback of a near death experience, gun violence. Very brief and then probably some slight blood or mild language. 

Word count: 991

The Birthday Curse

Its Virgil's birthday. How could the sides forget?

Pairings: Prinxiety and hinted Logicality

Birthday fic for Virgil. Also kinda a vent fic? A bit of self projecting onto Virgil.

Warnings: angst

Happy ending of course. I'm not that cruel.

Word count: 4,828

The Jacket Thief

Reverse Bang Fix base on this

The other sides keep stealing Virgil's jacket, so he makes them one.

Pairings: Hinted Prinxiety and Logicality

Warnings: may be some language, panic attacks, getting poked with a sewing needle, please let me know if I missed any.

Word Count: 7,274

How Roman Saved Virgil's Life

Virgil's about to end his life. What happens when he gets a call from an old friend?

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: mentions if suicide, mentions of neglectful parents, alone on a holiday. Please let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 1,929

It Wasn't Exactly Fun When...

What happens when Virgil goes back to his old ways?

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: Deceit, and I think that might be it. Let me know if I missed any.

Are You Asking Me Out On A Date?

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: I don’t think there are any? Let me know if I missed them

Word count: 1,274

Life

Vent fic. I went through something and just replaced me with Virgil.

Warnings: death, sad, tears, angst, lots of angst, let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 2, 462

Fiery Ash

Sequel to Unforgiving Waters

Roman and Virgil are planning to run away together. But what happens when a monumental tragedy threatens to rip them apart?

Pairings: Prinxiety, implied logicality

Warnings: brief implied death, nightmares, fire mention, smothering risk, ash, crushed mention, building collapsing.

The Pink Item

During a trip to the store before they go on vacation, Virgil is sent to get sunscreen by his husband, Roman. However, a pink item catches his eye and reminds him of a darker past. Kinda vent fix but whatever

Pairings: Prinxiety

Warnings: blood, razors, self harm, dark thoughts. 

What If

Pairings: Prinxiety, background RED and Logicality

Warnings: none

Roman tries to convince Virgil to take a risk. In Song Form!

Good Deeds

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Warnings: mentions of drinking, addiction, arguments, homelessness, financial struggles, angst, lots of it, Remus is in this but I toned him down slightly, I think, Please let me know if I missed any.