#happy Father’s Day namjoon

[enluv]

happy father’s day love, the kids miss you! come home soon <3

[dumpywrites]

Emulsion - Kim Namjoon / RM

Prompt: Love and business don’t mix, and so do both of you. 

Prompt request: HERE

Genre/tags: Angst (happy ending), arranged marriage, slow burn

Pairing: Namjoon x she/her reader

Word count: 3.5k

a/n: this is the most angsty angst I’ve ever written so far I actually cried while writing it omg 😭😭😭

You knew what you were getting into when your family introduced you to the Kims. 

You knew your parents wanted to seal the deal with their corporation, and in order to have bigger share of the stocks, someone had to infiltrate in. That person being you, of course. Yes, your family totally sold you for some fortune. Very unfortunate. 

It was told that there was no pressure in marrying their son, Kim Namjoon. Said that you should just go on a few dinners with him, to see whether you enjoyed his company or not. In which to be fair, after meeting him in person, you actually didn't dislike him. He was quite easy to talk to, well-mannered, and seemed to be a bit philosophical. Also, quite the nice looking individual. Nice was a bit of a downplay actually. Man was handsome. 

Just after three supposed “dates” your parents booked a dinner at a hotel for both of you, not knowing they also booked a room for you to stay the night. 

It was never your intention. You were disappointed by how greedy your parents were and how they’d just blatantly do anything for power. The fact that they were probably thinking it was better if you just ended up getting knocked up by him was insanely outrageous. 

While you had no part in this play, Namjoon was pissed. He didn’t think you were actually this shallow or how you could stoop this low. Right after both of you were informed that a room was available for use, the man immediately excused himself, leaving you behind. 

You would think that was supposed to be the end of this story. That was until you saw a text from him, two weeks following the last incident. 

“I have a proposal for you.”

Apparently, his dying grandmother’s wish were to see him married. At the blossoming age of thirty, his old-fashioned family desperately wanted him to do so too. To the point where his father was holding his personal project back, threatening to shut it down if he disobeyed. Your greedy parents and his close minded ones somehow had one vision in common. Both of you, marriage. After all, this agreement would just simply benefited both parties.

You never wanted to marry. After your past relationships you had enough of your trust being broken, and you didn’t think it was even possible to trust anyone at this point. Namjoon never really wanted to raise a family. He did not want kids and had dreams and goals he would still like to pursue himself. But financial-wise, neither any of you were ready to be let go from your respective families if you chose to disagree. 

The ceremony of your wedding day was almost perfect. You were glad that the Kims let you get involved in the preparation, even though it was just as minimum as choosing some few options. The wedding theme was actually what you had always picture a fairytale wedding would be. The beautiful garden theme inside a dim lit ballroom, light periwinkle decorations. Despite not wanting one, a girl could dream, right? 

You barely remembered saying your vows, barely registered the way Kim Namjoon had slipped the ring onto your finger, his touch fleeting, impersonal. The cameras had captured smiles that weren’t real, a picture perfect couple that didn’t exist. Your kiss was merely a touch, but at least you were not crying on your wedding day. 

The night at the hotel, your husband spent the night sleeping on the couch. You were unsure if it was because he did not want to make you uncomfortable, or if it was due to him just resenting you as a person. 

And it had been like that for almost half a year now. You had separate bedrooms in your house, despite your wedding picture being displayed on the biggest frame they could get. Both of you and Namjoon barely had any conversation and barely even see each other when you were together in the house. 

Your life with Namjoon had settled into a quiet routine. Cordial but distant, polite but impersonal. He was never cruel, never dismissive, and yet there was always an invisible wall between you. He never spoke harshly. Never raised his voice. Never ignored you outright. But he also never sought you out unless necessary.

Most nights, you dined together out of obligation, sitting across from each other in an expensive yet cold dining room, exchanging words only when required. You weren’t strangers, but you weren’t partners either.

Yet, Namjoon was kind. In ways that were small but undeniable. He always made sure your morning tea was just the way you liked it, setting it on the kitchen counter before he left for work. He never invaded your space, never made you feel uncomfortable in your own home. If he noticed you were exhausted, he would quietly order dinner so you wouldn’t have to cook. If you fell asleep on the couch, he would drape a blanket over you before retreating to his own room.

It wasn’t love but it wasn’t cruelty either. 

And you were content with it. 

Then something happened at the worst possible time.

You and Namjoon had been carefully avoiding another confrontation, balancing on the razor thin edge of whatever this thing between you had become. But the universe had other plans.

The two of you had been at yet another corporate event, one of those weekend retreats meant to foster “unity” among business partners. You had spent most of the evening keeping your distance, exchanging polite words when necessary but never lingering.

That was until the storm hit. Heavy rain poured outside, thunder rumbling in the distance. The venue was a secluded estate in the countryside, and thanks to the storm, most of the guests had either left early or locked themselves in their rooms for the night.

You hadn’t planned to stay long and either had Namjoon. But when you returned to your designated guest room, you found him there. Standing by the window, his phone in hand, expression tense.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, brows furrowing.

Namjoon exhaled, turning to face you. “There was a mix up. Apparently, we were booked into the same room.”

Your stomach dropped. “What?!”

“I already spoke to the staff.” He said, voice tight. “All the other rooms are taken.”

You stared at him, waiting for him to say he would find another way. That he’d sleep in the lobby, the car, anywhere else. But then again, you couldn’t really blame him. Both of you booking a separate room was already weird enough. Him having to demand for it again would make it look even worse. 

“We’ll just have to deal with it for tonight.”

Your pulse pounded. “There’s only one bed.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I noticed.”

The tension in the room thickened, suffocating, neither of you knowing how to navigate this. You were used to distance. Used to space. But now, with a locked door and a storm raging outside, there was none.

You swallowed. “I’ll take the couch.”

Namjoon frowned. “It’s barely big enough to sit on, let alone sleep.”

“I’ll manage.”

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Don’t be stubborn. Take the bed.”

“Your body is literally bigger than mine. I’ll take the couch.” You insisted. 

To be frank you weren’t sure what would be worse, sleeping next to him and pretending you didn’t feel every inch of space between you, or letting him sleep there alone and knowing you had chosen to not try to better your relationship. 

Namjoon watched you carefully, something unreadable in his gaze. Then, after a long pause, he exhaled sharply. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Your head snapped up. “What? No!”

“I’m not taking the bed…” He said firmly. “And you’re not sleeping on that couch.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but the look in his eyes told you it was useless.

Without another word, Namjoon grabbed a spare pillow, tossed it onto the floor, and lay down, one arm resting over his forehead. You stood there, frozen, watching the rise and fall of his chest, the tension in his jaw.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to be alone with him like this. And yet, as you slowly climbed into bed, lying stiffly on one side, you just couldn’t ignore the way his presence felt too close. As the storm continued outside, neither of you spoke.

Neither of you moved. Neither of you slept either.

“Namjoon,” You called softly. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah, why?” The way his voice didn’t sound hoarse at all. You knew he was wide awake the entire time. 

“Aren’t you cold? I… I think there’s enough space up here if you want…” You hesitated. 

“Don’t worry about me, just get some rest.” 

“No.” You paused. “I am worried.” 

There was a small pause coming from the guy underneath as well before he spoke again. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Was all you said. 

You didn’t dare to look at him, but you heard his movement before feeling the mattress dipped with weight next to you. Your back was facing him, body under the covers. It didn’t seem like he slipped under it, probably too afraid to make you uncomfortable in any way. 

So you took action and got up, dragged the blanket over so it could cover his body too, before going back to your previous position. You didn’t get the chance to catch his reaction. 

“You know…” You suddenly said. You didn’t know what came over you tonight for being so bold. “That night on our first dinner… It wasn’t me. My parents booked it without telling…”

You felt his body turned to your direction, but you still refused to look at him. 

“I know.” He replied gently. 

“I’m sorry, if you ever feel used by me or my family.” 

“Neither one of our families are innocent.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this as well.”

You didn’t know why but the way he talked suddenly made your heart race. “Good night.” You said, quickly ending the conversation with your back still facing him. 

“Good night.” He replied shortly. 

You woke up when you felt an arm just suddenly draped around your body. You weren’t too sure of what to do. Would it be offensive if you refuse? Should you just let him be? He pulled you even closer before you even had the chance to say anything. 

Now being fully in his embrace, your back against his hard chest, you could quite literally feel his heartbeat. 

Heat pooled in your stomach, you were getting anxious. Worse, you were starting to feel hot. Surely, you didn’t want Namjoon to feel you being all sweaty. 

“Namjoon…” You called, in hopes to wake him. 

No response. 

“Joon…” You called again. Although this time, you didn’t know where did you start picking up the nickname his family used. 

“Are you uncomfortable?” 

Again, you didn’t fail to notice the lack of hoarseness in his voice. So he had been awake for some time. 

Oddly enough, you were not uncomfortable. 

Actually, it was quite the opposite. 

“No.” You replied, simultaneously feeling his heartbeat getting faster in return. 

“It’s warmer like this.” He said. 

“You’re right.” 

Both of you stayed like that for almost two hours before getting up. Somehow sleeping in his arms felt natural. Too natural that it started to weird you out. The way your heart was acting up and the butterflies churning your stomach. Clearly something had shifted inside you. Whatever happened was so cliche, but you didn’t hate it. 

It did cause some unwanted changes in your life though. 

Now your dinner became awkward, as you could barely hold eye contact with your supposed husband. You avoid any communications even more than how it was before. You started to feel scared by your own thoughts. Creeping in your head like a disease. 

Deep down you always thought that Namjoon at least despised you, even just a little bit. After all, he knew how much your family benefited from your marriage. Even though he was never rude to you, a normal guy who was most importantly was your legal husband, would at least try to do something. The fact that in the whole six months that was all he ever did to you just proved how undesirable you were in his eyes. 

You had to scold yourself mentally for being a hormonal mess for even thinking like that. 

Tonight, Namjoon seemed tensed. The frown never left his face the whole dinner. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked cautiously.

He hesitated, then sighed. “Met my parents today.”

You looked at him cautiously. 

“They want to know why we still…” He trailed off, rubbing his temple. “Why we act like strangers in front of them. They even said that at this rate they were never gonna see any grandkids…”

Your throat tightened. “And what did you say?”

Namjoon looked at you then, his gaze unreadable. “I told them we were trying. At least we fooled the investors.”

Something about those words stung more than they should have.

You scoffed, trying to mask the hurt creeping into your voice. “Trying? That’s funny. Because to me, it still feels like we’re just pretending.”

Namjoon’s jaw tightened. “Is that really what you think?”

“What else am I supposed to think?!” Your voice was rising now, the emotions you had kept buried for months bubbling to the surface. “We’ve been married for six months, Namjoon. And we still act like this! Like two people who don’t know how to be in the same room without feeling awkward.”

His expression darkened, frustration flickering in his eyes. “I’ve been trying to make this easier for you.” He said, voice steady but firm. “I’ve respected your space. I’ve never forced you into anything. Now you’re mad because I didn’t push you harder???”

“That’s not what I’m saying…” You shot back, though you weren’t even sure what you were saying anymore. 

Namjoon exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Then what are you saying?”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. Because the truth was, you didn’t know either. All you knew was that somewhere along the way, this had stopped feeling like a burden and started feeling like something much more complicated and you were terrified. 

So you did what you would usually do. The only way you knew to cope with this situation. 

“You wouldn’t marry me anyway if your parents didn’t threaten to shut down your collapsing art gallery.”

Namjoon didn’t say anything, only stood up and left without finishing his food. What you said technically was not a lie, but you still went out of the line. 

Things didn’t go back to normal after that night.

Namjoon was becoming distant, but not in the way he had been before. This wasn’t avoidance and restraint. Like he was holding something back, like he didn’t trust himself around you anymore. And you? You were no better. The way he looked at you that night right before he left, was still lingering in your memory. 

Instead of addressing it, you both fell into a new pattern. 

You both still had to go to a company’s daughter’s wedding. Despite the situation, it seemed like both of you were trained well to the point that you could act like the happiest couple in the world on command just like that. 

The celebration was held in this five-star hotel. Invitation list was long, so meeting an old acquaintance was bound to happen. 

Seojun was an old acquaintance, nothing more, but the moment he leaned in too closely, his hand brushing your arm as he laughed at something you had said, you felt a presence behind you shifted. You didn’t have to turn around to know Namjoon was watching.

When Seojun’s fingers skimmed over your wrist, guiding you toward the dance floor, you finally turned and locked eyes with your husband.

His jaw was tight, his fingers curled around his glass with barely concealed restraint. He seemed… angry. Not annoyed. Not indifferent. Angry. This was a first. 

Then he quickly disappeared into the crowd.

When you returned home, Namjoon was already there, tie discarded, sleeves rolled up. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring at nothing in particular. You hesitated in the doorway, waiting for him to acknowledge you.

“So, are we going to talk about it?” You asked, carefully watching your tone. 

Namjoon let out a low breath. “Talk about what?”

You clenched your fists. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you weren’t—”

“Weren’t what?” He finally looked at you, eyes dark, unreadable. “Bothered? Jealous?” He scoffed. “You don’t want me to act like your husband, so why does it matter?”

Your heart pounded. “Because—”

“Because???” He took a slow step forward. “Say it.”

You couldn’t. Because saying it meant accepting that whatever this was between you wasn’t just circumstantial. It wasn’t just an arrangement anymore. So you did what you always did. You turned away.

But this time, Namjoon didn’t let you.

Before you could step past him, his fingers wrapped around your wrist. It wasn’t harsh, he just held it softly, demanding your attention.

“I don’t hate you.” He said quietly.

Your heart dropped.

“I never have.”

And just like that, the walls you had built started to crumble. 

You spent the night crying in your room. You were confused and mostly scared. You already knew what was becoming of you. You were not a little kid anymore, you knew exactly what you were feeling and why at this point. 

When in the morning you saw no tea was prepared for you, you quickly gave his room a knock. 

“Namjoon?” you asked softly. 

The door cracked open and he paused in the doorway, glancing at you before sighing deeply. His hair was messy and eyebags could be seen decorating his handsome features. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” 

As you awkwardly sat on his bed, you couldn’t help but to look around. To think that this was the very first time you stepped in this room in over six months of living in this house. 

“I don’t know how to do this anymore.” His voice was quiet but firm, a mix of frustration and something else you couldn’t place.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Do what?”

“This… Us.” His gaze dropped to the floor, his hands tightening into fists by his side. “I can’t keep pretending I don’t want more. I can’t keep pretending that everything we’ve been doing is enough.”

You held your breath, fear creeping into your chest as his words sank in. “Joon…”

“I don’t know how to do this right, but I want to. I don’t want to hold back anymore. I’m not asking you to be ready, but I need you to know that this…” He hesitated, his words heavy. “I feel like it’s real.”

For a moment, you couldn’t speak. You just stared at him, letting his words wash over you. He was laying it out, raw and vulnerable, and you could feel the weight of it pressing against your chest.

“I don’t know what this means for us, or how this will turn out, but I’m tired of holding back. I need to know if you feel the same.” He said, his voice gentler now. 

You were quiet for a long time, every part of you torn between fear and something you couldn’t name. A desire for something more, something real.

“I don’t know if I’m ready either…” You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t pretend like I don’t feel it too.”

Namjoon’s eyes softened, his hand slowly reaching out toward you. You didn’t pull away this time. Instead, you let him touch your hand. The contact gave you shivers.

“I’m not asking for answers, I’m just asking you to take a chance with me.”

You felt the weight of his words, the sincerity behind them, and without realizing it, you found yourself leaning closer to him. You didn’t know what would happen after tonight, but you knew that for the first time, you were willing to find out.

Without a word, Namjoon closed the space between you, his hand gently cupping your cheek. His touch was hesitant at first, as though he was waiting for some sign from you. Then with a slow exhale you closed your eyes and leaned into him, returning the kiss with the same amount of passion. A tear escaped your left eye. His thumb was quick to swipe them away. 

“You’re not alone in this.” He said, hands still holding your face, as if you were to break if he ever let go. “Not anymore.”

And with that, you knew there was no going back. You had taken the leap. And now you would figure out the rest of this together.

Thank you for reading! 🖤

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - The Realization - MYG (18+)

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 1.6k+

Summary: 

"I can see the pain in your eyes I don't wanna say that I'm God, but I'll take you to heaven if you die" 

Alternatively, 

Yoongi dreams of you... dreams of a family with you

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Warnings: Angst, angst and angst

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)

Taglist requests are closed for now

A/N: Again, this chapter has both readers and Yoongi's pov. Two more chapters to go before we say good bye to this couple.

Read the next chapter

Yoongi’s kisses have always been near perfect. ‘Near’ - because most of the time certain emotions were missing in them. 

And most of the time it was love. 

You never complained about it, not even to yourself. You knew his kisses would hardly ever be filled with love when those are directed towards you. 

However, that never stopped you from wishing, from imagining how would his lips taste when those are drowsed in love - love that he has for you, only for you. 

Today when Yoongi kisses you - you feel it. 

You feel how his kisses have turned different, how those are more loved and less rushed. You feel it - you feel Yoongi’s heart hammering against his chest and the vibration spreading through your body. 

But it’s a joke of the universe. 

Right when Yoongi feels what you have always wanted him to feel - you have to go. 

You need to go. 

And you will go. 

Because a part of you wants to leave him behind and come back to see if he really waits for you or not - if he keeps the only promise he made to you or not. 

If he still loves you or not. 

So, you don’t kiss him back. 

You don’t turn back to look at him when you leave for the retreat. 

For once, you decide to put yourself ahead of everyone… even Min Yoongi. 

Four weeks makes a month. 

And four weeks also make Min Yoongi’s life a living hell. 

The four weeks he spends without you near his vicinity are simply the worst weeks of his life - the mental strain he feels, can’t be compared with anything he has ever felt. 

When Gyuri left, he drowned himself in alcohol, tried to forget her, tried to remember how he lived before she came into his life. 

But after you left, he starts to remember you more and more and more. 

During the first week, he plunges into work. 

Gyuri’s comeback is around the corner and he still has a lot of work to do. So, he stays inside the studio and barely leaves. 

But everytime his eyes fall on the spare chair, on the leather couch - he finds traces of you. 

Your quiet laugh, your eyes, your sighs, your breath on his skin, his hands around you and even before he knows, his cheeks feel wet. 

Min Yoongi cries - he cries for you. 

During the second week, it becomes impossible to stay confined inside his studio anymore. 

Namjoon has been bugging him too. His friend has almost begged him to leave the studio to at least wash up. 

He, too, has been thinking about heading to his apartment, washing up and sleeping for an entire day or two. 

So, he finally leaves the studio on a Tuesday afternoon, takes a bus then a subway and then walks to his apartment. 

He stares at the sky, at the changing colors of the season, he walks through a park, witnesses happy families and thinks of you. 

What if the tragedy didn’t happen? 

What if you still had the baby and he was on the way to being a father? 

What if he wasn’t so afraid of marriage or kids? 

Would it then.. Would you then be the one for him? 

Yes. he knows it’s a yes. 

When he falls asleep that day, he dreams of you. 

He dreams of a home, floor to ceiling windows, a baby on your chest and him watching you. 

He dreams of a family - a family with you. 

And he keeps daydreaming the scenario for the rest of the second week. 

During the third week, Yoongi becomes restless. 

His throat gets dry, his hands become fidgety and he realizes missing you has started taking a toll on his psyche. 

The unbound want and need of wanting to see you once, having you close for once - is ruling his entire being. 

He has never had this strong of an urge ever before. He had never suffered like this ever before. 

He gets cranky, almost gets into a fist fight with a man who wouldn’t leave the reserved seat for a pregnant woman in the bus, he almost screams at Namjoon for being too clumsy. 

He becomes someone he doesn’t even know. 

And among all of it he realizes how much you have kept him sane all these times. 

How much he had damaged your well-being. 

He feels like a criminal but he vows to be better when you come back. 

“Just a week more.” he tells himself every now and then. 

“Just a week.” he tells himself whenever the suffering becomes a little too hard to take.

The fourth week begins with a lot of anticipation. 

He doesn’t know when you are returning but he knows he would take you in his arms the moment he gets to see you. 

He knows that he would tell you that he loves you… he fucking loves you so much that he is going crazy, he would ask for your forgiveness and would beg for a chance. 

He knows he will. 

He just doesn’t know if you would let him or not. 

The fear of your reaction or rejection keeps making him sick. 

His breath shortens whenever he thinks of your cold face, emotionless eyes. His fingertips get numb, his heart drops. 

So, is this what you have been feeling all along? 

Is this how you had felt whenever he acted indifferent towards you and your feelings? 

Now as the tables have turned - Yoongi wants to punch himself in the face. He has been the worst guy on this planet and you still loved him as if he was the best. 

He stares at his phone in fear and embarrassment. 

He had sent you a ktalk text asking the date and time of your arrival. It’s Friday already and you should be home before Monday. 

And he should be there to pick you up. 

It’s been more than five minutes with no reply. 

He starts to bite on his nails.

Min Yoongi is nervous and only you can make him so. 

His doorbell rings, making his concentration divert. When he looks through the peephole, he finds Gyuri standing there. 

“Now you don’t even take my calls? Answer my texts?” Gyuri shouts when he lets her in. 

“None of those were related to work. So, it was unnecessary for me to reply to you.” He replies in his usual flat, cold tone. 

“We are not in a usual, work-relationship, are we?” Gyuri challenges. 

Yoongi feels a sharp headache forming in his pressure points.

“Yes, we are in a work-relationship only. I guess I cleared it out on the last day we saw each other." He recedes inside his apartment, sits down on his couch but doesn’t invite Gyuri to follow suit. 

“You didn’t clear anything out! I need to know what happened all of a sudden? You are in love with me then why, why don-”

“Sorry to interrupt you, but I am not in love with you anymore, Gyuri. I have moved on. I had moved on long ago but failed to realize that because I was so hungry for a closure. The closure of you and me. And I have got that now. I have got it, and I am giving you one. Let’s just be colleagues from now on, okay?” Yoongi stares into her eyes while saying those words with more confidence than he had ever felt. 

Gyuri breaks down in tears before his eyes but he feels nothing. He feels numb. 

“But- but Yoo-yoongi-” 

“Gyuri. I am in love with someone else. And I don’t want to lose her, not this time.” he punctuates his words with a sigh, silently praying for Gyuri to understand him. 

“Y/N.. isn’t it?” Gyuri whispers, managing to wipe her tears. 

“Yes.” Yoongi replies, with his heart. 

When he comes back to his phone after sending Gyuri back… he finds two texts from you. 

Y/N (10:33 pm): Gimpo airport, Saturday, 3:30 pm.  Y/N (10:35 pm): I will be waiting for you.

The retreat was one of the best decisions of your life. 

One month went in the blink of an eye and you are already returning tomorrow. 

The center is located deep in the mountains. It is a quiet, very quiet place. And the month you have spent here has been very peaceful as well.  

There are a few doctors working with the patients, you have successfully taken therapy from one of them. She has understood you well, provided opinions that didn’t go past your head that didn’t make you feel as if something is royally wrong with you, and she had urged you to talk to Yoongi when you get back. 

You are looking forward to doing the same. 

You farmed vegetables here, which has been therapeutic to your soul. Something about watching the vegetables grow had worked like a balm on the grief of losing the baby. 

You exercised each morning, went for walks through the steep paths of the mountain some evenings, worked on the lyrics of several songs on a pen and paper on some nights. 

And you have thought of Yoongi. 

Amid all of these you realized, you will never ever be able to resent him, to be indifferent to him, to be angry with him. 

You also realized, you can hardly love anyone as much as you love him. 

The realization didn’t frighten you. It made you smile. 

Because somewhere you felt your feelings would be returned this time. 

So, when his texts arrive on your last night at the retreat, you smile at your phone. 

He is eager to meet you. 

Min Yoongi wants to see you just as much as you want to see him. 

Min Yoongi has been waiting for you.. As much as you have been waiting for him. 

And maybe… just maybe… 

Min Yoongi is in love with you as much as you are in love with him. 

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[hisunshiine]

—revelations under the moon

🌙 pairing: alpha!namjoon x omega!reader 🌙 au/genre: ABO au, fated mates au, angst, smut 🌙 series rating: M 🌙 wc: 9,468 🌙 series warnings: mentions of an off-screen character death (barely a character tbh), brief male masturbation, thoughts of 'cheating' (if they aren't true mates though..is it?), cursing, retelling of a fake historical fable that includes VERY brief mentions of murder and suicide as the consequence of a tragic hero's hubris explicit sexual content: biting, marking, knotting, semi-rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare 🌙 an: wow, i did not think i would get this out in time, january was a rough month for me, but my grandpa just finished his last lung cancer treatment last week, and im trying to just balance all the stress of real life, but yeah, i think it's getting better. thank you to my beta readers, @downbad4yoongi @moonleeai and @peachiilovesot7 i appreciate all your help, whether you helped in december or in february, it is much appreciated, as always. you're the best hype squad. this is also my first ABO story, so if you hate it don't tell me. LOL 🌙 summary: "When crescent rises, we shall rise as one, Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun." Alpha-heir Namjoon and his long time sweetheart are thought to be the next pair to rule Highscrest, but when Duskfall is attacked, the heir makes a decision that changes the course of not only his and his girlfriend's destiny, but yours as well.

This story is part of the "New Year, New Me Love" @bangtanwritershq gift exchange, written for the lovely @colormepurplex2! Happy Valentine's Day!

🌒🌒🌒 Tuesday - Waxing Gibbous

The loud chatter of the crowd irritates you; your senses are on overdrive after the past two weeks you’ve had. Packing and moving everything you own across the river during the New Moon was unexpected—almost as unexpected of it being a result of a peace treaty signed by the Beta of your old pack after the death of Alpha Tyvrin. 

A Beta jostles you in an attempt to move closer to the raised platform at the far end of the civic center, and you shoot him a quick glare before turning your attention back to the men on stage to avoid any drama. An Omega glaring at a Beta isn’t as bad as if it was an Alpha, but insubordinate enough still. The new tribe members do not know your previous role in Duskfall and have every right to challenge any hierarchical disrespect.

“Quiet, please,” a voice rumbles quietly, but everyone in the room follows the directive. You recognize the Alpha Father, or the father of the Alpha-Heir and most recent Pack Alpha of Highcrest, at the podium. Your irritation drops as your senses can finally focus now that the room is silent. The smells of so many new pack members still suffocates your olfactory system, but it’s bearable now. One scent seems to overpower the rest, a clean forestry smell that seems to dilute the others. “Good evening, and thank you all for coming tonight. We hope you all have been acclimating to the changes these past few weeks. If you have any concerns, please reach out to any of us here.” 

The Alpha Father waves over his son, stepping aside to let him take the lead of the rest of the meeting. Your eyes drink in the lithe movements highlighted by the fit of his suit. “Thank you, Alpha Father. For those of you who are joining us from Duskfall, at the time of the New Moon three months prior, I began the ascension steps. Right before your arrival, I had just finished the last of the three trials. All that remains is the bonding.”

You look around the room to see if anyone else is having the same reaction to his voice as you are—the crowd is transfixed; all attention is on the Alpha Heir Kim Namjoon. He’s young, almost thirty, but commands the stage. It’s not just because he’s handsome, though the blue suit and his dark brown hair help. His aura oozes from afar, your inner wolf screaming at you that this is a man you would follow and it’s your turn to receive a dirty look as you bump into the person in front of you. You turn back to the stage, ears attuning to his baritone as he continues.

“—final ceremony will take place in three days, and as you all know, I will be selecting my mate. I know that there are many newcomers who may be wary of joining the pack with all of these changes happening so soon, but please have faith in us. Highcrest will protect you all, and we will be at full strength as soon as the full moon rises in a week.”

Some applause breaks out, and his confidence soothes the wolf inside you that worries about this treaty. Highcrest sits on the eastern side of the Twin Rivers split, atop the range that leads to Twin Falls. Your previous pack, Duskfall, was integrated into Highcrest two weeks ago after Shadowhide attacked and killed Alpha Tyvrin under the cover of the New Moon, in a successful attempt at taking the land between the two streams. 

The fertile soil and access to the freshwater source has been a source of contention between Duskfall and Shadowhide for decades, and while a group consisting of the Alpha, Beta and his best warriors patrolled your western border, Shadowhide attacked. The Beta and a few others escaped by the grace of the moon, which gave the pack enough warning to prepare and kept Shadowhide at bay now that the act of surprise was gone. With the Alpha slain and the clock ticking before Shadowhide invaded, the Beta had no choice but to reach out to Highcrest for help. A peace treaty was signed, allowing all pack members of Duskfall to join Highcrest in exchange for their commitment to the pack. Any members who were against the treaty were allowed to leave of their own volition and go back to the main city, or find a pack of their choosing, but with the danger of Shadowhide’s takeover imminent, everyone agreed to travel east across the river and up the mountain range to the safety of Highcrest.

“Thank you to all of Duskfall’s former pack for all of your patience with us as we’ve worked to create a space for all of you here in Highcrest. After the ceremony, which is open to all unmated Omegas, everyone from Duskfall will officially be of Highcrest, and those who have not yet finished their commitment rites can do so at that time.”

You watch as Kim Namjoon waves over a tall, slender woman with sleek hair falling down her back. She is the picture of elegance, her walk stalking forward in a hypnotic fashion as she steps beside the Alpha-Heir and speaks to the crowd. You recognize her from the Apothecary you’ve been training in ever since you’ve settled into your new life here.  

“Good evening, everyone. I’m Min Everlight, an Omega of pack Highcrest. I am the head healer for the pack, and if Alpha Namjoon is ever unavailable, please come see me down at the Apothecary. I’ll help in whatever capacity I can in his absence.” Her hand moves almost subconsciously towards his, and they intertwine fingers. “We have committed our lives to this pack, and all of us up here will do our best to provide for Highcrest. Please stop by the apothecary this week if you haven’t yet received the Aconite to remove your Duskfall markings in preparation for your Highcrest one.”

Everlight stays linked to Namjoon as he takes a slight step forward to end the meeting.

“When the crescent rises,” he begins, and the people around you intone their response. 

“We, too, shall rise.”

Walking under the waxing gibbous, you and your Beta roommate, Sana, wave goodbye to one of your elderly neighbors. You’ve been checking on all of the members of your old pack, helping them in any way you can to get them acclimated after work. You go home tired every night, but you want to make sure this merger works.

Sana skips ahead as your new home comes into sight, singing the Alpha-Heir’s praises. “He’s so brilliant, I promise you this is the best thing that could’ve happened to us. And Min Everlight? She’s amazing, right? You’ve been working under her these past couple of weeks, isn’t she effervescent?”

You laugh at her excitement, answering her vaguely as you unlock the door to your shared home. “She knows her stuff, that’s for sure. I’ve learned a few new things already since we’ve been here, but most of it I already knew.” Sana dreamily wanders to her bedroom, ignoring your slight diss and chattering mostly to herself about how wonderful tribe Highcrest is. You plop onto the couch unceremoniously, thoughts on Min Everlight. 

Everlight is effervescent, with an inner glow that makes her the perfect Omega as mate for the Alpha-Heir. You’ve heard from the other women at the Apothecary that she and Namjoon have been dating for years. Longtime sweethearts and—if their little show on stage meant anything—his choice for his mate. This thought makes you feel sick, because ever since you walked away from Duskfall and followed him to Highcrest, your heart has thrummed for him. 

Taking a deep breath that you let out with a sigh, you change your line of thinking before you venture towards a vitriol hatred of your soon-to-be female leader. Min Everlight has been nothing but motherly and nurturing to all of you since your arrival, but the more you see her all over the Alpha-Heir, the harder it is to like her. Not just because of her romantic relationship with Namjoon, either, but that she represents everything that you almost were, and reminds you of everything you lost.  

You scratch at your upper arm over your shirtsleeve, where the Aconite serum you rubbed on earlier dissolves your Duskfall tattoo in preparation for your Highcrest one. The Aconite is diluted and mixed with other herbs to prevent poisoning that would weaken you before the ceremony. Sana disappears into the shared bathroom to shower, and you close your eyes for a moment not meaning to fall asleep as you wait for your turn.

The moon goddess blesses you with dreams of Duskfall past, memories of your destined path as the tribe’s Luna-to-be—the Omega paired to the now fallen Alpha Tyvrin—and you wake to the reality that all you have trained for was for naught.  

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Or, more like you wake with the sudden slam of a door, sitting upright as you squint to keep back the sunlight. 

“Damn, you slept on the couch?” Sana questions, looking cheery and well-rested.

You clear your throat to answer. “Yeah, I guess so. What time is it?”

Sana glances at her watch. “Um, it’s half past eight.”

“Shit, I overslept, and I’m supposed to meet with Everlight again today.” You stand abruptly, and begin organizing all of the large pillows on the couch, laying the blanket just so until you hear Sana laughing at you. You look up at her with a glare. “What?”

“I think you might be in pre-heat. You’ve fluffed that pillow at least three times, and that blanket cannot be folded over the back of the couch any more perfectly unless you’ve got a protractor in the cabinet.”

“There’s no way, it hasn’t been enough time since the last one.” You ignore her as you clamber back onto the couch, tucking your legs up under you seemingly forgetting your plans for the day.

“Your heat is probably gearing up because of some Alpha at the meeting last night. With Tyvrin gone, rest in moonlight, you’re no longer taking the suppressants are you? With everything that’s happened, it makes sense that you’d forget,” she theorizes, “and apparently Highcrest doesn’t have that practice here.”

You can’t believe you’ve forgotten. In Duskfall, you were chosen by Alpha Tyvrin to be his mate, and asked to take suppressants until the ceremony. This was to help to prevent you from having a heat, decreasing your pheromones from triggering any non-bonded Alpha’s into their ruts and endangering you. These past few weeks since the move, you haven’t been taking any suppressants, and you’re sure by now it's run its course and is out of your system.  

“They don’t practice that here?”

“No, weren’t you listening at the meeting? The Alpha-Heir doesn’t choose his mate the same way like in Duskfall. Highcrest has a different ceremony. All unmated Omega’s can be part of it.”

“But isn’t Everlight most likely going to be chosen anyways?”

“I hear there’s blindfolds involved, so maybe instead of sulking, and filling the apartment with your sour scent, you can just join the ceremony and give it a try.”

The news fills your chest with what feels like sunbeams, and you smile at the Beta as you relax into what you’re now realizing is a nest.

“Ah, the room smells so much nicer now. Also—you’re late.”

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Kim Namjoon sits patiently outside the Apothecary, waiting for Everlight to finish for the day. He can sense her inside, her scent a fresh scent of clean linen, just brought down off of the line after soaking in the sun. It’s always been the strongest scent to him, out of all of the women in Highcrest, and he’s sure that the Moon Goddess will prove her to be his mate this weekend when he ascends to his Alpha status. 

Fingers drumming along his clothed knee, he hums to himself as he watches the sunrays filtering through the trees as it sets. The small bell above the door chimes as small groups of girls and women of all ages trickle out from the shop—Everlight hosted a gathering after work for all of the newcomers to review the Highcrest ceremony procedures for women, and they all bow respectfully when they catch sight of him seated in the chair near the door. 

Namjoon can’t help but wonder what else they were working on today, his nose itches to investigate whatever new tonic or serum she’s put together this time—the smell is amazing. Like a warm honey coating his tongue, hints of bourbon with small bursts of brown sugar peaking his interest. He hopes it’s not something inedible, like the Aconite serum, and his curiosity getting the better of him, he stands, unbuttoning his suit jacket and moving to peer through the small glass windows framed in the center of the door. 

Ah, he thinks as he takes in one of the new pack members, Everlight must have let one of the Duskfall women teach a new tonic. Namjoon recognizes you through the dusty glass standing in front of the group, and remembers that his Beta, Seokjin, had pointed you out from afar when you first arrived.

🌑Two Weeks Ago 🌑 Monday - New Moon

“That’s Alpha Tyvrin’s mate, er—was his mate. They hadn’t actually had the ceremony yet, the attack happened before the full moon ceremony could happen, but she was set to be Duskfall’s Luna.” Seokjin’s finger points down the lane from the window of City Hall, connecting to a woman walking towards the villager housing area. Namjoon eyes you warily before posing a series of questions to his Beta.

“Will it be an issue to have two mature Luna’s in a pack? Should we offer to place her with another pack to mate with an Alpha?”

“I don’t know…I haven’t ever heard of something like this happening. Typically the Alpha has already mated the Luna, and since one cannot live without the other—”

“I see.” Namjoon understands why the Moon Goddess would create such a fate for paired leaders. “Had the ceremony already happened, she would be buried next to him. It could be a help, now that we have so many more people, to have two strong healers in the pack. Maybe she could travel on patrols in case of an attack?” He wonders how Everlight would react to finding out that there’s another Luna-trained Omega in the pack, and if this would be a way to spin it to lessen any blowback. 

Seokjin looks thoughtful, eyebrows lifted as he tilts his head and gathers his words carefully. “That could be a good option for the second Luna, so that their training and skills do not go to waste, especially now that our pack has grown…It could also be worth mentioning—with so many new members, it would be a good show of faith if you were to perhaps choose the Duskfall Luna as your mate—”

Namjoon’s growl silences Seokjin momentarily but he presses on when he sees no claws being barred. 

“I’m just saying, nothing helps unite two packs better than having one of their own integrated into the upper levels of the hierarchy. If we want to keep peace and help Duskfall feel loyalty to Highcrest, taking their to-be-Luna as your mate would be the smart move. You and Everlight aren’t fated, so it’s not like our pack would frown upon it under the circumstances—”

Namjoon’s eyes cut like daggers as he stares his Beta down, almost dragon-like in ferocity as he contains his inner beast. “Everlight is my mate, Seokjin. I would never betray her like that.” 

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday (present) - Waxing Gibbous

Looking at you now, Namjoon is glad to see that you and Everlight seem to have no issues working alongside each other. After reading through previous Alphas’ historical notes and reviewing the history of the packs of the Twin Rivers Valley, he decided that it would be best to keep you around, as he worries his newest constituents would revolt if they thought he had banished you from Highcrest. He spent the first couple of weeks talking to other elder members of Duskfall, and learned that a lot of the pack had come to rely on you as they became acclimated, that you had been going around to visit with them and check-in, and keep them all calm with the changes happening. 

He appreciated that you had taken this on as a duty, especially when you were dealing with the biggest blow of all. Namjoon meant to meet with you to thank you, but the longer he took, the more it felt fake, rehearsed, and like an afterthought instead of what it really was: an Alpha-Heir not yet familiar with his role, and learning about you from afar made him feel like a weird stalker of sorts that he had all this knowledge of you and your skills from others.  

Your skills would be most useful to their pack, and though you were meant to lead the pack by an Alpha’s side, you could still maintain some modicum of that role, just as the second to Everlight. Namjoon is sure this plan will work. He plans to have a meeting with Seokjin and Everlight tonight, that way he can make sure that they will follow his plan without any issues. 

He knows he could just order everyone to follow along, but using his Alpha to force others to do what he wants doesn’t always work out in the long run. The history of the tribal lands and the fact that there were three distinct tribes from the original one, up until Tyvrin’s death, is proof of that. 

It’s much better for a leader to have the consenting loyalty of his pack, instead of forced fealty that brews contempt and derision. Namjoon steps back from the door to allow another person to exit, and once again, the honeyed bourbon seeps through the opening. It’s much stronger this time, urging him to his feet almost against his will. 

He feels his blood thrumming, pounding through his veins like a rushing river. Namjoon checks his forehead, as if feverish, and notices his hand comes back with a sheen of sweat. It’s like he’s gone into pre-rut, which would be crazy. He’s pretty regular when it comes to his ruts lining up with Everlight’s heats, and she’s still not due for a little bit…

Namjoon stumbles backward, taking the three steps back to solid ground quickly as he tugs at the collar of his buttoned shirt. He’s too hot, it’s all too much, he has to do something, move, but he’s in the middle of the town, there are people who look to him to be more restrained than this standing all around…Namjoon trips a little on the gravel beneath his feet as he takes off back towards City Hall and away from Everlight, afraid that if she is due for her heat and his pre-rut was triggered by that, he would mount her right there in front of the last few people in the store and fuck her hard against the counter, not caring if everyone saw the powerful way he drove his cock in and out of her until he filled her with cum and knotted her.

He’s locked himself in his office, blinds closed with his fist wrapped around his thick length as he imagines it: his hands firm on the plump rounds of ass, spreading the cheeks apart as he spits between them, Omega slick lathering his cock with every stroke and the tight walls sucking him back in with every pump out, and when he cums—copious amounts leaking around his large hand—it’s only then that he realizes that it wasn’t the clean linen-scented Everlight he was imagining taking his knot.

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

You’re irritated—more so than you’ve been since your entire life was turned upside down two weeks ago. The Beta that’s always around the Alpha, Seokjin, randomly showed up at your place in the morning saying you were tasked to go on a supply run to the nearest city. It makes sense—Seokjin explained that the Alpha had handpicked everyone in the group to help new pack members meet others and start to learn their ways, and you appreciate it, except for the fact that you don’t want to be far from home right now. 

In fact, because of the upcoming ceremony, Everlight had let all of the women training in the apothecary have the next few days off, as she expected to be chosen and wanted to prepare herself and her home for what was to come. You had mixed feelings when she initially announced this to everyone, because while you enjoy the respite from the constant go-go-go of changes around you, the reason behind it left you feeling miffed. 

All of yesterday, you spent time working at the Apothecary and were even asked by some of the others to show them some tonics and potions that they had never heard of, and while you enjoy teaching others, it’s quite draining to go through the motions while talking through every step you make, and why. The girls quietly scribbled down your words in their notebooks, committing your teachings to paper, which made you feel good about yourself, until reality hit about your future. 

It almost didn’t feel fair that you were so new to the pack and already others were looking to you to train and teach them new things, meanwhile another person is slated to take the position you’ve wanted and trained for your whole life. 

Shaking away your thoughts, you tap back into the moment, finally having arrived in the bustling city a little past mid-day. You hate all of the smells; the odor rising from the sewer grates and scents from the people who jostle you as they rudely push past your group. You hold back the urge to plug your nose, sighing out a weighted exhale as you follow Seokjin through the automatic sliding doors and into a grocer’s market. 

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

Back in the forest, a half day’s trip from the city, Kim Namjoon spends his time in his office again, hiding out from his duties by disguising them as last minute studying and planning for the ceremony. 

He couldn’t bring himself to meet with Everlight the previous night, instead calling Seokjin only to discuss the plans for the supply run. He looked over the list of items Everlight needed in the apothecary, and only because the winter months were starting to fade away into spring meant this would be the last expensive trip until winter came again. 

Bees do not make honey in the winter, so why can’t he explain away the coincidence of the honey bourbon smell and the note written in Everlight’s scrawl next to the requested item underlined twice: Honey — we’ve been out for ages!! He doesn’t want to believe that he could be feeling this way for someone other than Everlight, but of two things he knows for sure: he smelled honey, and Everlight is distinctly NOT a honey smell. 

Seeing that on the list had Namjoon rise with a wild idea, to send the other Luna far, far away for the day, to help him clear his mind. In reality, he paces his office, wearing thin the once plush carpet with his worried steps until he can’t take it anymore. Crossing the room, he walks with such a force that no one dares to question where he’s off to. 

He knows where you live, knows that your Beta roommate Sana should be home, and when he knocks on the door with authority, he expects Sana to fling the door open so hastily that the movement sends the mixed scents of the apartment wafting out at him. Instantly, he expects his spine to straighten as his whole body is overwhelmed by the truth—except that never comes. No one is home, as a kind older woman politely points out to him after his third attempt at knocking. 

“Those girls went into town today, it seemed like the Luna had to drag Sana along with her,” she chuckled, clearly a pack member who was fond of the two women. “Did you want me to tell them you stopped by?”

“No! I mean—no need to worry them about my visit, I can talk to them tomorrow, thank you.”

He swiftly departs, deciding to just head home instead of back to the office for some peace.

“Joonie!”

Barely having set foot in his residence, Namjoon is bombarded with the irritating scent of laundry detergent. It’s too pungent; overwhelming in a way that he’s never experienced before. He catches himself before his nose wrinkles and Everlight ascends into his arms. He hugs her back, planting a soft kiss to the side of her head in an endearing manner before she pulls him into the dining room for an early dinner with his parents. 

Namjoon spends the evening engaged in conversation with his parents and Everlight, avoiding talks of the ceremony as best he can—despite his mother and girlfriend's best attempts. His dad eyes him warily—in that cunning way that only another Alpha can—sensing the change in the dynamics within the room. Namjoon is grateful his father remains quiet, simply watching the conversation over the nightcap of barrel-aged Cabernet Sauvignon from their cellar.

Once they call it a night and his parents disappear to their room, Everlight begs Namjoon to stay over, and unable to say no to the woman he’s never said no to before, he relents. He regrets this decision almost immediately, as his hopes that Everlight would help him take his mind off of the one thing that’s been at the forefront of it are crushed.   

“She’s just really good at healing. She knows a lot, like I can’t believe I’m even admitting it, but she knows things that I don’t. And the things I have been able to teach her, she learns it so quickly and easily. I’m actually kind of jealous.”

Namjoon can tell; Everlight’s face is scrunched up in a way that makes her look unattractive, and he doesn’t know what to do or to say to make her feel less insecure. 

“Maybe it’s a good thing she is joining our pack. It’s important to learn and grow continuously.” It’s as diplomatic as he can be at the moment.

“Yes, but she’s trained as a Luna, just like me. It’s a little like she’s trying to take my spot. Yesterday, while I was teaching, the other girls asked her to teach them something I didn’t know, and I just had to stand there and let her take over my lesson. The girls were so focused on her and taking notes, it made me kind of hate her.”

She’s looking at him, her eyes trying to find something within his, but he looks away, reaching for the light next to his bed.

Everlight reaches for him, aligning her body to his as her fingers grip his shoulders so she can position herself atop him.

“That’s why I can’t wait for the ceremony, baby. We can finally be a true, mated pair. Start our forever, with me as your Luna. No room for confusion from the pack about who will bear your pups.” Her eyebrows waggle up and down suggestively as she lowers her lips to his plump ones. “We can practice now if you want, you can scent me, let all the bitches in heat know to back off.” She kisses him again. 

Namjoon kisses her back, but her laundry odor fills his nasal cavity and her words are so off-putting for the role she hopes to take on for the pack. He can feel her hands travel down his ribcage, but nothing about her touch turns him on. Pulling away from the kiss, he catches his breath as he readies his excuse.

“Babe, I think we should wait,” his large hands hold her shoulders firmly before his touch grows softer, palms smoothing up and down her arms in a soothing motion. “The ceremony is so soon, and I want it to be sacred…I know that might sound cheesy and un-Alpha-like but—”

“No, you’re right.” Everlight smiles softly at him, but he can see the hurt in her eyes at being rejected. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed with all of the new pack members and the changes happening, I think I got a little over excited.”

“I love that about you, you know? You’re excitement over things, and how you want to be the best version of yourself for our pack. You’re already an amazing Luna in your own right.”

Everlight excuses herself to the bathroom, and Namjoon clambers off his bed, bare feet leading him towards his cracked bedroom window. In the light of the almost full moon, he can now see the noises that drew his attention moments ago: returning members of his pack walking down the path to their homes. 

There’s no mistaking it now. A warmth blooms from his groin, spreading higher until his neck grows hot from it as his nose and mouth feel thick with the sweetest bourbon honey scent. With you unaware of his gaze as you laugh with Seokjin and Sana, he feels jealousy boiling into his chest.

“Mine.”

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon

You wake up late on Friday morning, your body a little stiff and sore. You feel as if you slept with a heater on, sleep clothes clinging to your body due to the sweat that covers your skin. You try to shake it off, but the feeling doesn’t go away, even after a cold shower.

You’re not surprised you woke up mid afternoon after arriving back at Highcrest near midnight, but you suppose the excitement of what’s to come will keep you awake the rest of the evening. You have to meet the elders for the pre-ceremony rituals at the start of moonrise, so you eat a light snack in the hopes it won’t trouble your stomach too much. 

You know now that Sana is right. Your heat will kick in no later than tomorrow afternoon, with the confirmation of the night sweating and soreness symptoms appearing today, but you worry about what it will mean if you end up not being chosen…you’ll begin cramping and sink into Omega-space, leaving you vulnerable to other higher ranking pack members without a plan prepared to get you through your heat.

At quarter till six, you leave your home with a small bag of items and head to city hall, where Elder Aline waits for you and the other Omegas who planned to join the ceremony to arrive. Elder Aline was old—she worked closely with the Luna three times removed was in power, and lived to prepare both of her successors, and now would be helping to prepare this ceremony. 

You hug your bag to your chest as the last of the group arrives: Everlight. She only looks slightly surprised to see you in the group of seven Omega’s, but she fixes her facial features quickly and offers you a bright smile. 

“I didn’t expect to see you in the group!” Everlight’s tone is friendly enough, but the undercurrent of her words screams out territorial.

“Oh, yeah, my roommate said I should come as an unmated Omega to take part in the ceremony. It’s different from our previous pack’s tradition, and if I hope to carry out my duties and help with future ceremonies, the best way to learn is to be part of it, right?”

Your answer makes sense, perfectly curated to help push away any questions that dig too deep into your motivations, including yourself. Part of you knew that it would be beneficial to you if the worst comes to fruition, but the other part, the more primitive part, knows the real reason is because the wolf inside of you longs for your mate to be Kim Namjoon.  

Elder Aline calls for your attention, her weathered voice a calming stillwater that acts as a soothing balm to the nervous energy in your chest. She speaks to the group, sharing some information about how the rest of the night will play out before she leads your small group towards the outskirts of Highcrest, to the south of a small lake on the edge of the forest. The walk takes a bit of time to navigate the terrain, especially with an Elder leading. 

You allow her moments to pause and rest, clearly fatigued from traipsing through high grasses and uneven dirt, but soon enough you are there, and placed along the treeline, a small clearing awaits you. She makes quick work of explaining the first ritual’s steps, and you allow her voice to lead you through the routine. 

The cleansing ritual itself takes the better part of an hour, as everyone planning to participate strips down to enter the water under the light of the moon which now grazes the top of the trees. A small pouch filled with herbs and petals is handed to each of you to rid you of any lingering outside scents. You lather your skin, taking the time to clean every inch before stepping out to air dry. It’s colder than you expected, but no one wants to risk masking their scent for the ceremony. 

The elder had laid a simple white dress on the shore of the lake near your bag, and once dry, you sheathed your body with it, happy for the fabric to provide some warmth. She pulls a thermos from her bag along with small cups.

“Purified under the new moon,” she intones, handing you a steaming cup of tea. “Red azaleas, to pull out your emotions and attract your true mate.”

You sip it slowly, letting the heat warm your hands. The other women join you after the elder gives them each a cup, and you huddle in a circle, trying to stay warm.

“I think it’s good that we have so many of us for the ceremony,” Everlight speaks, her voice light and airy. “It would be a boring ceremony if I was here by myself.”

Her words were clearly chosen carefully, meant to sound like a compliment to the others for their company, while laying claim to the role not yet given to her by the moon. You bristle, feeling your body heat up. Her comments were starting to annoy you, because a true Luna was not insecure or haughty. She was a healer, a person that others could go to when they needed strength, compassion, or empathy. Everlight seemed to have forgotten this. 

“I think it is great that Highcrest’s tradition is different from ours, it feels more…pure.” You don’t know how else to describe it, but the act of having the alpha choose his mate through this ceremony feels like how it used to be. The elder hears you and her words confirm this. 

“This is the true ceremony. But come now, it is about time for us to begin.”

She leads you around to the north side of the lake. A small copse of trees had blocked the incoming sight, and now that you were closer, you could see the small gathering of pack members standing in a crescent.  

Directing you to step into the open space, she takes your cups from each of you as the seven of you line up with ample space between each other. You look around nervously. The cold you felt earlier when you were wet and naked exiting the lake was gone; you notice that you feel hot. You’ve felt hot since drinking the tea.

The crowd murmurs quietly to one another as you look around for Sana, finally finding her to the right near the top point of the moon shape they were standing in. She waves at you, a smile breaking across her face as she takes you in. 

All at once the noise in the forest dies out. The muttering follows suit, and Elder Aline steps before the crowd. 

“Before the great divide of the tribal lands, the Alpha’s mate was never set in stone until the ceremony was completed. Even if the Alpha had taken many lovers as a young pup, it matters not, for what the moon reveals is the truth. And an Alpha dare not disobey the moon, lest the pack fall weak.”

She then begins her tale of the history of the original tribe they descended from. 

“Many, many moons ago, we once existed as a proud and noble pack led by an Alpha of unmatched strength and wisdom named Lycaon. Under his reign, our pack thrived, united as one for the good of the group. We honored the ancient laws dictated by the phases of the moon, for we knew the moon's power was both a gift and a curse. Before the divide, we could shapeshift along with the phases of the moon.

But Lycaon, with his pride swelling within him like a thunderous storm cloud, began to question the moon's choice for his fated mate. He refused his fated Omega, instead choosing who he wanted, and not who our celestial goddess knew our pack needed. Ignoring the warnings of his most trusted Betas, Lycaon decided that his unborn son would also choose his own mate, not the moon.

At first, this defiance seemed to have no negative impact. But before long, cracks began to appear between pack members. By refusing the moon's guidance, the pack ended up with an Alpha-chosen Luna who was not prepared for her role. The rejected Luna fell melancholy, and took her own life, saying she could not watch the ruin of her pack. Some wolves found themselves unable to control their shifting, and began to attack their own kin in fits of madness. Other pack members grew weak—their bodies unable to withstand the impact of their dual nature.”

The entire crowd was enraptured hearing the tale, as Duskfall members did not know the history, and you are among them in learning the true history of the divide.

“As chaos descended upon our once-proud pack, Lycaon's authority waned as the full moon wanes. Desperate to maintain his grip on the pack, he resorted to ruling the pack with fear instead of respect. But his efforts only fueled the flames of discord, and soon, the pack was torn asunder by fights and betrayal.

In the aftermath of our pack's collapse, three new packs rose from the one, each led by a different wolf claiming to be the one true Alpha. They fought for the lands we stand upon today, with Lycaon’s son, Claudin, taking the hills to found Highcrest, and the other two packs fighting over the lower grounds.  Claudin knew that in order to reclaim the strength and glory we had lost, he must not allow pride or the greed for power seduce him into betraying the moon.”

A low murmur swept through the crowd. You knew your former packmates had the same thoughts running through their mind as you did—could this really be true? Was Alpha Tyvrin’s downfall predestined to happen in order to reunite the original pack? Elder Aline coughs, and you focus back on her.

“And so, this tale of Alpha Lycaon and our pack serves as a tale of caution for generations, a reminder of the dangers of hubris and the importance of respecting the ancient laws that govern our kind. Alpha Claudin rectified the treachery his father had done unto the moon, but we shall never shift again as punishment.”

A quiet settles upon the crowd, and the elder gestures to a group of children you didn’t notice before. They step towards each of you, and she asks you all to kneel. The small child before you has a face like a cherub, full cheeks pulled tight as he shows his teeth to you, eyes disappearing in his delight. 

He bequeaths a length of dark fabric, and his hands move so as to wrap the ends around your face, deftly knotting it behind your head. When you feel him step away, you stand back to full height. Your other senses are heightened, anxiety blossoming at what comes next. You hear footsteps, and sounds of awe and admiration sweep across the crowd stealing your nerves. You freeze in anticipation. 

“Alpha Namjoon has done what we once thought impossible, uniting two tribes where whence was three, and we must continue to follow the moon’s guidance. We must not deceive ourselves. The moon will not lead us wrong. It will not lead him wrong.”

Seconds tick by as you wait, eyes furiously trying to see through the thick material stealing your sight. Seconds turn into minutes and you can hear the faint rustling of bare feet traveling across the grass, the weighted foot falls accompanied by heavy inhales of the still air surrounding the area. You know the Alpha has entered the clearing—can feel a palpable shift in the energy as your body grows hotter by the second. His scent sings to you, and you whine lowly, wanting to follow it.

Again, the crowd responds to something unseen by you, this time it has your inner wolf crouching, tail down and ears back—showing submission. Another whine escapes you, a little louder this time. Your distress must be filling the area around you, you can sense the crowd’s movement, reacting to your scent. You begin to panic, fearing that a distressed scent would push the Alpha to choose another, not the scared, submissive and pathetically whining bitch in heat—

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon 

Namjoon walks up to the clearing surrounded by his closest advisors, some of whom had been absent patrolling the borders and securing their land the past several weeks, and returned in time for the ceremony. As he approaches, the sounds in the forest quickly fade, as if sensing his arrival.

He waits for his signal to enter the clearing, far enough away that he can only smell the crowd of his pack members standing between him and the clearing where the Omegas will stand. Namjoon spent all day in the forest, away from town preparing for the ritual by hunting for game to be used for the meal to feed his mate before the knotting. He also had to follow the same cleansing tradition, bathing under the light of the full moon, drinking the purified new moon tea, and dressing in loose, white linen pants.

He tried his best to clear his mind from the events of the previous evening, and once he was away from the bustle of the town square, he found it easier to convince himself it was just a fluke. After years of being with Everlight, the idea of being fully committed must have made him feel a bit scared, so he latched onto the idea of something new, someone different…you. 

Now, after his mindful afternoon in the forest, he knows he just has to trust the moon will lead him to Everlight, his mate. He knows her scent, knows it like he knows the taste of his mom’s cooking or the sound of his father’s favorite whiskey bottle opening.

As the moon climbs higher, he waits, steadily listening as the crowd quiets and Elder Aline speaks, recounting the tale of the original tribe. As she gets close to finishing her tale, Namjoon is tapped on the shoulder by Beta Taehyung, who motions to the blindfold in his hand. 

“It’s time, Alpha.”

Namjoon nods, taking the blindfold from the younger male and covering his dragon-shaped orbs. He fastens the knot, and he senses when another one of his trusted Betas approaches him. 

“I have the pouch here. Make sure to smell it deeply before—” 

Beta Jungkook is interrupted by Namjoon. “I know, I know. Smell it deeply before I let my inner wolf out to track my mate.” He lifts an open palm so Jungkook can place the small, organza fabric reticule into his hand.

When he hears his name, he knows that’s his signal. He follows the sound of the elder’s voice to enter the clearing.

“Alpha Namjoon has done what we once thought impossible, uniting two tribes where whence was three, and we must continue to follow the moon’s guidance. We must not deceive ourselves. The moon will not lead us wrong. It will not lead him wrong.” 

Raising the small sack to clear his olfactory senses, he inhales a piece of his own clothing, a small handkerchief he kept on him all week. A trick using olfactory habituation to cleanse his palate from the surrounding smells, allowing him to only smell his mate. The crowd shifts, he can hear stilted murmurs about his physique being on display since he was shirtless as he walks past his pack. 

Stepping fully into the clearing, he inhales deeply, and instantly he picks up the laundry scent that he’s so used to being surrounded by. It’s definitely Everlight’s scent—he’s almost positive—but it has an edge to it, a slight tinge that he’s not used to smelling. The longer he stands there, the more the scent morphs into a cloying, headache inducing smell. It’s almost fake, a manufactured scent that doesn’t entice him. 

He steps away from the smell of it, noting an undercurrent of something nice. The crowd reacts, confused at his actions, but he doesn’t care. He knows he has to trust the moon. And that bourbon-honey scent? He wants more of that. Lifting the pouch again to his nose to rid it of the sickly sweet smell, he drops his hand after a few inhalations, allowing the soft honey smell to seep into his pores. It’s alluring, growing more seductive by the moment, but then it takes on the additional bitter scent of anxiety, and Namjoon worries that something is wrong. 

He can feel his inner wolf scratching to get closer, to protect, to save his mate—when he steps closer, the crowd reacts again, so he grabs at his blindfold, tearing it free so that he can get to you. He needs to calm you down, you need to feel safe, to know that your Alpha is here to protect you. He’s closer to you than expected, and the whine you let out calls to him in more ways than one. 

His body feels alight with flames, he can see you’re trembling. His hand moves without him thinking, gripping the blindfold and tugging it up and off your head. 

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon 

The light of the moon feels blinding as you blink to adjust your eyes to the sudden return of your sight before it’s eclipsed by the broad body of the Alpha. His breaths are almost frantic, a heavy panting that moves his shoulders with each exhalation as his wild eyes roam your face. His neck gland is hidden by a tied piece of cloth, masking his scent partially and you want to bury your face into him, seeking safety and comfort. 

Your body responds to his proximity almost immediately, a simultaneous calming of the mind’s anxiety as physically you feel engulfed in a blaze, a sweat finally breaking out along your hairline as you’re thrown into full heat. Namjoon’s nostrils flare as he inhales you, his face looking triumphant as he kneels on one knee before you. He reaches for your hands, which tremble as he locks eyes with you. 

“Namjoon, what the hell?!” Everlight stands several omegas down from you, her face free of the blindfold, which now dangles from her fingertips at her side. She doesn’t move for a moment, not until she realizes the Alpha was not responding to her. Her steps don’t falter as she gets closer to you, but your scent grows sour as you take in the murderous look on her face.

Namjoon’s movements are quick and fluid. He stands and postures himself, keeping you protected behind him as he shoves Everlight back with one hand.

“Mine,” he growls. Everlight drops the blindfold, confusion blossoming upon her face. 

Namjoon turns to you, grasping your cheeks gently in his hands. “Mate.”

He throws his head back, and lets out a loud howl to the moon. 

Chaos ensues. The entire field grows loud as some pack members celebrate the ceremony’s success, while others gossip about the outcome. You can hear snippets of the conversations until another voice grows louder, shouting at the Alpha. It’s Everlight, your brain registers, she’s angry, her sour scent wafting in your direction as she screams. 

Some Betas you’ve never seen before hold her back, preventing her from coming closer to you and Namjoon. You back up, jostling into him, and the urge you had earlier grows so strong you don’t hold back. Jumping into his arms, you bury your nose into his neck, and you instantly melt against him, fatigued. Namjoon is startled but holds you tightly, and you can feel when he begins to walk swiftly away from the crowd.

You don’t question it, you just let your Alpha lead you to someplace safe. It takes a few minutes before you arrive at a small cottage, its windows lit with a soft glow. You recognize it for what it is—a mating cabin. Set far enough away from the town square that a newly mated Alpha and Luna can have alone time to get through the next few days. 

Namjoon sets you down, but doesn’t let you go. Opening the door, the first thing you see is a pack of water on the small wooden table. It’s one large room, like a studio with an open concept. There’s a small kitchen set up to the left, and straight ahead is a large bed. The sheets are clean and welcoming, and you can feel your body beginning to cramp as your heat kicks in. 

You knew it was coming—the low-grade fever, mild cramping, and more recently, increased slick and pheromone production ever since Namjoon touched you in the clearing. You shuffle, uncomfortable as slick leaks out of you, trailing down your thigh slowly.

You can hear Namjoon inhale sharply, before he’s kicking the door shut and grabbing you firmly. He doesn’t speak. His eyes say everything though, the adoration and lust sparkling in the low light in the room. 

“Alpha.” It’s a statement. It’s a request. 

His lips are on yours, devouring, tasting, suckling as if he can’t get enough of you.

“Honey. You taste like sweet bourbon infused honey…it’s intoxicating.” Namjoon kisses you again, this time his lips trail from yours to your neck. He teases you, teeth nipping at the skin as your thighs rub together seeking pleasure as he pulls sinful mewls from your throat. Your hands grip his upper arms, and you try to tug him towards the bed. You need him. You need his knot. 

“Please, Alpha,” you beg, and he shivers in your hold, aroused by your submissiveness. “Need you.”

Namjoon lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. You grind against him, biting his bottom lip aggressively. You feel so hot—burning up—and he’s the only thing that can cure you from this growing pain. 

Your heat is in full swing, and you can tell it’s triggering your Alpha’s rut. He’s trying to hold back, be gentle and slow, but when you push your leaking core against him, he gives in. His hands fumble with the waistband of his linen pants before his heavy cock springs free, fully erect and searching for your entrance. You move your waist to help the angle of his cock, as one hand holds your hip and the other holds the base of his shaft to align himself. 

When the slight pressure on your slit gives, you thrust forward, forcing him inside you with ease thanks to your copious amounts of slick. You feel full, the head hitting in just the right spot. Attempting to create friction, you try to undulate your hips, but the resulting shockwaves from the tip meeting that sensitive spot causes you to clench around him. 

He freezes, feeling the quickening of your walls and you yelp in surprise when he throws you on the bed. The loss of him inside you feels unfair, but he steps out of his pants and soon crowds your body with his own as he climbs over your body. A firm hand presses into the middle of your upper back, before he grips your hips and pulls them upwards. The dress slides down, revealing your bare backside to him and you feel more than hear the growl he lets out. 

He leans against your body, ripping your dress up until you are able to slide the garment off your arms and throw it to the floor. A smack jolts you forward, but he adjusts you back into place. You feel his thumb drag over your slick covered folds, taunting you. 

“Alpha!” you whine, and he chuckles before realigning his length to your throbbing core. At this angle, he reaches deeper inside of you, and he begins to rock his hips, thrust after thrust inside you. His large hand grips your chin, turning your head to the side. 

“Want to see that pretty face as you cum on my cock, want to hear you cry for me when you take my knot.” His low baritone promises you pleasure beyond your imagination. 

He licks up your spine, kissing and nuzzling into your neck, and you know it's the spot he wants to mark you at. You beg him to do it, but he just shakes his head against your skin. “Not yet, my love.”

He kisses you with every thrust he takes, before sitting up more to pin you down to the bed. His movements grow sharp, hands grabbing at your ass cheeks as he pounds into you. Switching up his movements, you can’t believe he fucks so well when he begins to rotate his hips and slips his thumb into your mouth. You suck on it, drool leaking from your mouth onto the sheets as your legs shake. 

You clench again, involuntarily spasming every few seconds and you know you’re close—you tell him as much. 

“Fuck,” he curses, and you grip the bedsheets as he adjusts his hold on you. His hands move to your hips and he arches your back even more as he speeds up his own movements. They're fluid, your slick making it almost effortless for him to please you, to take you from behind like this until he’s so deep he could feel himself poking through your stomach—

“Take my knot, want you to have my pups, fuck—”he presses his hips flush to your ass, streams of his cum filling you up endlessly as your body wracks with euphoric release. You whine as you feel the intense pressure of his knot filling you before the pain of his marking bite overtakes your senses. 

You feel overwhelmed in a good way, pain giving way to pleasure as the bite seals your mated status and his knot begins to slowly deflate. Once able, Namjoon rolls you over to face him, nuzzling into you as you hold him close. Your heat was sated for the time being, but you knew that soon you would be climbing him once again to meet your needs. 

You wince as his nose grazes your fresh mark and he makes an apologetic face. Standing up from the bed, he grabs a bottle of water for you, twisting the cap off for you and proffering the drink. 

You take a full swallow, quenching the thirst you didn’t realize you had. Heats have a way of making you forget to take care of yourself in that way. The fatigue consumes you, and you drop back down to the bed. Namjoon takes the bottle from you and places it on the side table. His hands massage your calves, working his way along your thighs. His movements could put you to sleep, but you knew as well as he did that this reprieve would not last long. The moon shone through the window casting a faint glowing halo around Namjoon’s head.

He was yours. 

In the moon's tender glow, we're born anew,

The night's canvas echoes our ancient call,

Omegas and Betas, to their knees they fall,

For the Alpha, bound by destiny's fate.

To lead, to fight, to protect, to mate,

In lunar hours, gaze upon the sky,

Let Luna's wisdom be your guiding light,

Her soothing touch to mend wounds that cry.

When crescent rises, we shall rise as one,

Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun.

↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine 2024. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.

[magic-shop-stories]

Hey there! I just read Yoongi as a father, and I absolutely loved the way you wrote the emotions—it hit me right in the heart! Your writing is so immersive, and I was wondering if I could request something? Could you write a scenario where one of the BTS members (maybe Yoongi or Namjoon?) finds the reader/OC completely at rock bottom like emotionally and physically drained, feeling utterly hopeless but instead of letting them push him away, he slowly helps them heal? I’d love to see that transition from heavy angst to the softest, most comforting fluff, with lots of patience, late-night talks, and maybe some found family vibes. Just something that makes the reader feel safe again.

No pressure at all, but I’d love to see your take on this! Thank you so much, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

💌 Reply:

Ahh, thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really happy that Yoongi as a father resonated with you, it means a lot! This request immediately tugged at my heart, and I knew I had to write it. There's something powerful about someone refusing to leave when you feel like not being saved. I poured a lot of emotion into this, and I hope it gives you that deep angst and quiet, healing comfort you were looking for. Sending you lots of love! 💜

REQUEST NAME:

when the silence breaks

↳ Yoongi x Reader (Platonic/Close Friends/More?); Angst with Fluff,

Rating: M

Word Count: ~3.7k

Genre: Angst with Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Slow Healing, Slow Burn

Warnings: Depression, self-neglect, suicidal ideation (implied past attempt), emotional breakdown, dissociation, guilt, recovery themes, strong language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Platonic)

Featuring: Stubborn but deeply caring Yoongi, raw emotions, slow recovery, acts of service as love, quiet but unwavering support, and a hoodie that carries too much history

The last time you saw Yoongi, he’d snapped.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. But guilt doesn’t care about fairness.

You’d dragged yourself to his studio that night, a ghost in his stolen hoodie, the one he’d shrugged off weeks ago and never asked for back. The fabric still carried traces of his cologne, but now it clung to you like a second skin, sour with sweat and three days of unmoving air. Your hair hung in greasy strands, and your socks didn’t match, though you couldn’t remember when you’d last bothered to look. The walk there had been a blur of flickering streetlights and sidewalk cracks, each step heavier than the last.

Yoongi’s studio was a tomb of soundproofing foam and tangled cables, the air thick with the musk of coffee grounds and sleeplessness. He was hunched over his desk, fingers flying across the mixing board, eyes bloodshot. The monitors glowed like twin moons, casting his face in pallid blue. You hovered in the doorway, the hoodie’s sleeves swallowing your trembling hands, and waited for him to notice you.

He didn’t. Not until you choked out his name.

“Yoongi...”

Your voice was a rusted hinge. He jerked, pulling his earbuds out, and for a heartbeat, his face softened, the way it always did when he saw you, like you were a song he’d forgotten he loved. Then the deadlines came crashing back.

“Hey,” he said, rubbing his temple. A half-empty energy drink trembled near his elbow. “Didn’t know you were stopping by. Everything okay?”

You wanted to scream.

Instead, you mumbled about the therapy, the sessions that left your thoughts gauzy and your hands steadier, until they didn’t. “They’re… not working. I can’t... I keep...”

“Can this wait?” he interrupted, already turning back to the screen. “I’m up against a wall here, and Joon needs this track by...”

You didn’t hear the rest.

The world narrowed to the hum of his computer, the flicker of the waveform on the monitor, the way his shoulders tensed as he dove back into the mix. You stood there, shrinking under the weight of your own need, until the silence grew teeth.

Then you left.

The walk home was a fever dream. Rain slithered down your neck, but you barely felt it. Your phone buzzed once in your bag, a voicemail, you’d learn later, where his voice cracked over “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” but you let it die, buried under a crumpled tteokbokki container and a mountain of unopened letters.

Your apartment was a museum of ruin. The ceiling fan hadn’t spun in weeks. A coffee mug lay shattered by the door, its shards glittering like misplaced stars. You’d thrown it last Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, when the silence got too loud. Now you curled on the couch, his hoodie pulled over your knees, and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. They twisted into shapes: a frowning mouth, a fractured heart, a question mark you couldn’t answer.

Yoongi had a key.

You’d given it to him after the incident, that night he’d found you on the bathroom floor, your fingers curled around nothing, the tiles cold against your cheek. He’d called 119, then held your hand in the ambulance, his grip tighter than the IV needle in your arm. “You don’t get to leave,” he’d hissed, voice raw, as if anger could stitch you back together. “Not like this.”

He’d never used the key without asking. Not even when you vanished for days, when your texts went gray and your curtains stayed shut.

Until now.

The door creaked open on a Thursday afternoon, slicing through the gloom with a blade of hallway light.

You didn’t move. Couldn’t. The hoodie’s collar muffled your breathing, but your heart—traitor, loudmouth—pounded like a fist against glass.

You were curled into the couch’s sunken cushions, drowning in the hoodie’s oversized sleeves. Light flooded the room, harsh and clinical, and you recoiled like a creature unearthed from soil, yanking the hood over your face. The fabric almost scratched your cheeks, rough with salt from dried tears.

“Jesus,” Yoongi muttered, his voice frayed at the edges.

You listened to him navigate the wreckage, the crunch of chip bags under his boots, the soft clink of glass shards being swept into a dustpan. His shadow stretched across the floorboards, warped and elongated by the naked bulb, and you braced for the inevitable. For the “Look at this mess” or “What the hell happened to you?”

But he said nothing.

Instead, he knelt. The floor groaned under his weight, and you felt the couch dip as he leaned closer. Calloused fingers brushed the hood’s edge, tentative, as if you might dissolve at his touch. You stiffened, but he didn’t stop, tugging the fabric down until the cold air bit your face.

His breath hitched, a sharp, wounded sound.

You knew what he saw. The hollows under your eyes, bruised like overripe fruit. The split lip you’d gnawed raw. The scar on your wrist, pale and jagged, peeking from the hoodie’s cuff like a whispered confession.

“Fuck,” he whispered, the word cracking like ice underfoot.

You waited for the storm. For the guilt-tripping “Do you know how worried I’ve been?” or the frustrated “Why won’t you let me help?” that had driven others away.

But Yoongi wasn’t others.

He stood abruptly, the motion sending a half-empty ramen cup tumbling to the floor. Without a word, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

You watched through slitted eyes as he moved, methodical, relentless. He didn’t just clean; he excavated.

The shattered mug you’d hurled at the wall last week aimed at a memory, a voice, your own reflection, was swept into a bin. The mountain of takeout containers, some sprouting fuzzy green colonies, vanished into black trash bags.

When he reached for the pill bottle on your nightstand, you finally spoke.

“Don’t.” Your voice was a rusted blade.

He paused, the orange plastic clutched in his fist. “These expired two months ago.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.” The pills rattled as he dumped them into the trash.

He returned the next day. And the next.

You stopped counting the times he barged in, armed with grocery bags and a stubbornness that outmatched your own. He scrubbed the grime from your windows until sunlight dared to creep back in. He replaced your threadbare towels with ones that smelled like fabric softener and home.

Once, he unearthed a sketchbook from under your bed, pages filled with frenzied scribbles of storm clouds and fractured song lyrics. You watched, throat tight, as he tucked it gently onto the bookshelf, beside his old production manuals.

“For later,” he said, as if later was a promise he could keep.

The fifth night, he found you shivering in a sweat-soaked hoodie, the broken AC leaking icy air like a betrayal.

“Shower,” he said, not a request.

You shook your head, curling tighter into yourself.

He disappeared into the bathroom. The pipes groaned, and soon steam curled under the door, carrying the faintest hint of your lavender body wash. When he returned, his sleeves were damp, hair mussed from scrubbing off your tiles.

“Now,” he said, voice softer now. “Or I’ll drag you there myself.”

You went.

He waited outside the door, humming a half-formed melody under his breath, the same one he’d played on your cracked keyboard last week. You stood under the scalding water until your skin turned raw, until the heat seeped into the cracks of your bones, and wondered when he’d learned the exact temperature you liked.

When you emerged, towel clutched to your chest, he was gone.

But on the couch lay a fresh hoodie, his hoodie, folded neatly beside a steaming bowl of kimchi jjigae. A sticky note clung to the rim:

“Eat. Or I’ll tell Jin you’re alive. He’s been texting me conspiracy theories about you joining a cult.”

For the first time in weeks, your lips twitched.

The feeling terrified you.

Yoongi’s visits became as predictable as the sunset.

He arrived daily at 6:07 PM, his knuckles rapping once against your door, a courtesy, not a request, before letting himself in. The first time, you’d flinched at the sound, burrowing deeper into the couch’s crevices. By the seventh day, you found yourself staring at the clock, counting the minutes until the lock clicked.

He never announced himself. Just slipped in, grocery bags, somtimes rustling with Jin’s aggressively labeled Tupperware -“EAT ME BEFORE I CRY”- scrawled in red Sharpie, and set to work. You cataloged his routines: the way he’d kick off his shoes by the door, always left aligned, laces tucked in, the sigh he’d exhale before tackling the dishes, the precise angle he’d tilt his head when scrubbing stains from your coffee table, as if decoding a particularly stubborn chord progression.

The hazards disappeared first.

You noticed the razor blades gone from your desk drawer, replaced by a box of colored pencils. The vodka and soju bottles under the sink vanished, its spot taken by a six-pack of water. The loose pills in your nightstand? Swapped for melatonin gummies shaped like tiny bears. He moved like a ghost, erasing traces of your decay, and you let him.

His notes appeared in unexpected places:

Taped to the fridge:

“Ate the expired yogurt. You’re welcome. P.S. Jin says hi. He’s 83% sure you’re not dead.”

Slipped under your pillow:

“Hobi made a ‘Sunshine Recovery’ playlist. It’s 90% Disney songs. USB on the desk if you’re brave.”

You found it plugged into your laptop, track one titled “Hakuna Matata (Sad Remix)”

Scrawled on the bathroom mirror in dry-erase marker:

“Shower. Please. You smell like Namjoon’s gym bag.”

You ignored them. Mostly.

But on day twelve, you caught yourself staring at the USB drive, its neon green casing mocking you from across the room. When Yoongi returned the next morning, he found it plugged in, the playlist paused midway through “Let It Go”. Hobi’s voice cracking spectacularly on the high note. He didn’t smile. Just nodded, as if he’d expected nothing less, and left a new note:

“Track 7 is worse. You’ve been warned.”

The breaking point came on a rain-lashed Thursday.

Yoongi found you huddled on the balcony, his hoodie soaked through, hair plastered to your skull. The broken AC had turned your apartment into a sauna, and you’d fled to the icy downpour, chasing numbness.

For once, he broke protocol.

“Up,” he barked, hauling you inside with hands that trembled, from anger or fear, you couldn’t tell. You stumbled, knees buckling, but he caught you, his grip firm around your waist. “Enough.”

He marched you to the bathroom, cranked the shower to near-scalding, and shoved a towel into your chest. “Now.”

You stared at the steam curling under the door. “Go away.”

“Try again.” He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and you realized with dawning horror that he’d brought a book, a weathered copy of Murakami’s 'Kafka on the Shore'. “I’ll be here.”

“I don’t need...”

“You don’t get to decide what you need right now.” He flipped a page, jaw set. “Shower. Or I read aloud. Your choice.”

You showered.

The water burned, but you leaned into it, scrubbing until your skin turned pink. When you emerged, towel clutched like armor, he was gone –again– but a fresh hoodie hung on the door, like last time, still warm from the dryer. His cologne clung to the fabric, a woodsy anchor in the storm.

That night, you found his Murakami book left behind, a receipt marking page 127:

“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions.”

Beneath it, in Yoongi’s jagged script:

“Sandstorms pass. I’ll wait. -Y-

You slept with the book under your pillow, the hoodie’s sleeves wrapped around your fists.

The next morning, the AC was fixed.

You didn’t ask how.

It was Saturday 3 AM when the words claw their way out.

Yoongi’s on the floor, back against the couch, grading demos with his laptop balanced on his knees. The screen’s blue glow sharpens the shadows under his eyes, and you wonder if he’s slept at all this week, if either of you have. You’re drowning in his hoodie again, the third one he’s brought this month, its sleeves frayed from your restless picking. The scars on your arms itch beneath the fabric, a map of failures he’s already memorized.

He knows. Of course he knows.

He was the one who found you that second night, after all, your body limp against the bathroom tiles, fingers curled around an empty pill bottle he still won’t name aloud. He was the one who screamed into the phone for an ambulance, who held your hand in the ER with a grip that left bruises, who slept in a plastic chair for three days until your eyes fluttered open. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he’d hissed then, voice trembling with rage and relief. “Don’t you dare leave me like this.”

But tonight, the silence between you is a live wire.

You trace the oldest scar, a jagged line he’s never asked about. “You saved me,” you say, voice frayed. “That night, the other night....”

His fingers freeze mid-keystroke. The laptop fan whirs louder.

“You never thanked me,” he says finally, not looking up.

“Would you have wanted me to?”

“No.” He closes the laptop with a snap. “I’d have wanted you to fight harder.”

The words sting, but his eyes soften them. He shifts closer, knees brushing yours, and you catch the faint tremor in his hands, the same tremor he’d hidden when he carried you to the ambulance.

“I’m still here,” you whisper, as if it’s a confession.

“Barely.”

“Isn’t that enough?”

He leans forward, elbows on his knees, and stares at the carpet like it holds the answers. “You think I clean your apartment for fun? That I listen to Hobi’s playlists out of charity?” His laugh is bitter, worn thin. “You’re alive. That’s the baseline. I’m waiting for you to live.”

The honesty hangs between you, raw and unflinching. You want to scream, to tear at the walls, to ask why he bothers, why anyone would. Instead, you blurt, “It’s hard. Wanting to stay.”

“I know.”

“How?”

He hesitates, then rolls up his sleeve. A faded scar runs along his forearm, paler than yours, older. “I was twenty one. Scared. Angry. Thought the world wouldn’t miss another nameless kid from Daegu.” His thumb brushes the mark, a habit you recognize now. “But the world’s full of shitty second chances. This...” he nods at you, at the space between you, “...is mine.”

You reach out, fingertips grazing his wrist. His pulse jumps, but he doesn’t pull away.

“You’re not nameless,” you say.

“Neither are you.”

The clock ticks. Rain taps the window. Somewhere downstairs, a car alarm wails.

Yoongi leans back, eyes heavy but clear. “Complaining yet?”

“About what?”

“That I make it hard to want to die.”

You huff, surprised. “Asshole.”

“Good.” He reopens his laptop, the glow cutting through the dark. “Means you’re still here to insult me.”

Timeskip

Winter arrived with teeth, biting through Seoul’s streets and frosting the windows of Yoongi’s studio. Inside, warmth pooled under the glow of desk lamps, the air thick with the burnt-caramel scent of overbrewed coffee and the faint hum of a space heater fighting valiantly against the chill. You sat cross-legged on the floor, his hoodie swallowing your frame, its sleeves rolled haphazardly to your elbows. A notebook lay sprawled in your lap, pages crammed with lyrics scratched out and rewritten, margins filled with doodles of storm clouds and half-melted snowmen.

Yoongi was at his desk, scowling at a tracklist as if it had personally offended him. The studio was cluttered in its usual organized chaos, a framed photo of Bangtan’s debut days tilted precariously near his monitors, a wilting succulent Jungkook had gifted him –“Hyung, it’s indestructible—like you!”– clinging to life by the window. His fingers tapped absently against a coffee mug, the one you’d painted for him last month, a lopsided heart that read “World’s Okayest Producer.”

You’d come here often lately. Not because he asked, but because the silence between you had shifted, no longer heavy, but companionable. A refuge.

“Your hoodie,” he said suddenly, not looking up.

You paused, pen hovering over a line about fractured constellations. “Yours,” you corrected, tugging the fabric tighter. It smelled like him now, cedarwood and the faint smell of coffee.

“Keep it.” His voice was casual, but his shoulders tensed, the way they did when he was avoiding eye contact. “Looks better on you anyway.”

You snorted. “Liar. I’ve seen your closet.”

“Exactly. I need an intervention.” He spun in his chair, finally facing you, and froze.

A strand of hair had escaped your ponytail, clinging to your temple. You went to tuck it back, but he was already moving, slow, deliberate, like approaching a skittish animal. His calloused fingers brushed your skin, tucking the stray lock behind your ear. His thumb lingered, tracing the curve of your forehead, and you didn’t flinch. Didn’t dare breathe.

The studio’s hum faded, the whirring computer, the heater’s rattle, the distant traffic, until all that remained was the click of his chair rolling closer, the hitch in his throat as he leaned in.

His lips pressed against your forehead, a whisper of warmth, fleeting but searing. You closed your eyes, memorizing the weight of his hand cradling your jaw, the way his breath shuddered like he’d been holding it for years.

“Don’t make me write a ballad about this,” he muttered, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. His ears were pink, but his voice held its usual gruffness. “Taehyung would never let me live it down.”

You laughed, shaky and breathless. “Would it be a good ballad?”

“The best.” His thumb brushed your cheekbone, a silent confession. “But you’re not ready for my masterpiece.”

Outside, snow began to fall, dusting the city in quiet. Inside, the space heater sputtered, and the succulent’s last leaf trembled in the draft. But here, in this cluttered corner of the world, you felt it, the tectonic shift, the faultline of before and after.

Yoongi returned to his desk, but his knee stayed pressed against yours, a steady anchor. You picked up your pen, the lyrics suddenly flowing easier, and wondered if this was what hope tasted like, bitter coffee, cedarwood, and the ghost of a kiss still burning on your skin.

Epilogue

Recovery isn’t linear.

Some days, the darkness still slips through the cracks. It pools in the corners of your apartment, whispers through the vents, and stains the edges of your thoughts. But now, when the weight threatens to suffocate you, you reach for your phone.

“Yoongs...”

“Be there in 10.”

He always is.

One morning, long after the snow has thawed, you find him at your kitchen table. Dawn bleeds through the curtains, painting the room in watercolor grays. Yoongi’s slumped over his laptop, cheek pressed to the keyboard, glasses askew. The screen casts a faint glow on his face, illuminating the track title: DAWN_CHORUS_FINAL.mp3.

You linger in the doorway, memorizing the scene. The empty coffee mugs, yours with chipmunk doodles, his plain black, clustered like survivors of a long night. The crumpled sticky notes littering the table-

“Bridge needs more bass,”

“Lyrics too vague?”

-in his jagged handwriting. The USB drive Hobi gifted you months ago, now plugged into his laptop, its neon green casing glowing like a tiny beacon.

His hoodie hangs on the back of your chair, threadbare and familiar. You slip it on, the fabric warm from the radiator he’d insisted on installing last month, and pad closer.

He looks younger in sleep, the crease between his brows softened, lips slightly parted. A strand of hair falls over his forehead, and you resist the urge to brush it back. Instead, you drape his spare hoodie, yours now, really, over his shoulders. He stirs, murmurs something unintelligible “…key change…”, and sinks deeper into sleep.

The laptop screen flickers. You glance at the track, curiosity overriding guilt. The waveform pulses gently, and you hit play.

His voice spills out first, low and rasping, layered over a piano melody you recognize, the one he’d hummed outside your bathroom door. Then your voice joins, lifted from old voicemails and late-night rants, stitched into harmonies you didn’t know you could make. Lyrics you’d scribbled in his margins weave through the arrangement:

“The dawn is just a chorus of all the nights we survived.”

Your eyes burn.

In the corner, the succulent Jungkook once called 'indestructible' thrives in its new pot, now at your place, its leaves plump and green. Beside it, the Murakami book lies open to page 127, a fresh note tucked into the crease:

“Sandstorm’s passing.Coffee’s on me today. -Y-”

You start the coffee, just the way he likes it, black, with a pinch of salt he’d begrudgingly admitted cuts the bitterness. As the machine gurgles to life, you open the fridge. Jin’s latest meal-prep containers stare back, labeled “RECOVERY RAMEN - NOW WITH 200% MORE HOPE!” in aggressively cheerful font.

Outside, the city stirs. A delivery truck rumbles past, and the first birdsong trills through the cracked window. Yoongi shifts, his hoodie slipping off one shoulder. You catch it before it falls, your fingers brushing the scar on his forearm, the one he’d shown you that night, the one that mirrors yours.

He doesn’t wake.

You pour two coffees, set one beside his laptop, and sip yours slowly. The bitterness lingers, but so does the sweetness.

When he finally stirs, blinking blearily at the dawn, you nod to the track. “You finished it.”

He grunts, reaching for his mug. “We did.”

“Cheesy.”

“Blame Hobi. He insisted on the harmonies.” He takes a sip, hides a smile in the rim. “You hate it?”

You press replay. The chorus swells, your voices tangled now, inseparable. “It’s tolerable.”

“High praise.”

Chuckles. Sunlight fractures through the window, painting his face in gold. The coffee steam curls between you, and for a moment, the world holds its breath.

Yoongi breaks it first. “Next track’s on you.”

“What’s it called?”

“Dusk Theory.” He smirks at your raised brow. “... gotta have a sequel.”

You throw a pen at him. He ducks, laughing, and the dawn blooms brighter.

END.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 16/30

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: Hello everyone. This part turned out to be so long, I hope you enjoy reading it. Please leave your feedback, it's so important for me to know 🥹🙏🏻 I don't know if I'll have time to write something else before the end of the year, but if anything, there will be a continuation in the new year for sure. Thank you all so much for loving my story 😭 Enjoy ❤️‍🔥💜💜

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋 Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 16. Read my love.

A cup of tea cooling on the table is the only thing you can look at. You feel Jungkook's eyes on you all the time. You are nervous. Your palms are sweaty and cold. You hear your mom bombarding Jungkook with compliments and questions. She doesn't notice that you still haven't said anything to Jungkook other than a brief 'hello'.

Jungkook shyly answers all the questions. He's also happy to see omony Hyewon. But the main reason he's here is because of you, so he keeps looking at you. He sees how you avoid his gaze. He's looking at you when omonny Hyewon is distracted by a phone call from your father. She apologizes and moves away from the couch where you are sitting.

You feel even more tense. You look up. Jungkook is smiling at you and it's not an apologetic smile. It's his typical Jungkook smile, playful and provocative. You feel your cheeks flush red. Jungkook makes you feel uncomfortable. He have the confidence after all he's done to come to your house, sit and look at you with such a smile?

"How are you, baby?" - He finally breaks the silence between you. You bite your lip and lower your eyes, returning them to your cup of tea. Jungkook is attracted to this gesture and wants to touch his favorite lips.

"Fine." - You say and finally take a sip of tea to hide your embarrassment. It seems too obvious because your hands are shaking.

"I missed you." - Jungkook suddenly says. You can hear his hushed voice, filled with sadness and tenderness. His words penetrate your heart like a warm ray on a cold day. Your breathing becomes heavier, and your heart begins to pound furiously in your chest, almost painfully. The feeling is like hundreds of butterflies rising in your stomach.

Again, he was making you feel this way. You feel warm in your chest, but at the same time two parts of you are fighting: one part wants to push him away because it knows his world is too complicated and dangerous, and the other part wants to throw itself into his arms and stay there forever.

You lifted your eyes. You missed him too. You've missed him more than ever, but now it feels like he's off limits to you. It feels like you will never be able to be with him again. You don't know why, but instead of telling him that you missed him too, you ask him something else.

"Why did you come here?" - Your voice sounds cold. You fidget nervously on the couch. You don't want to be so cold, but you can't seem to do it any other way.

"I came to see you." - Jungkook answers as if it were obvious. "Also, it's okay to explain everything to you." - You hide your face behind your cup of tea again. You don't say anything because your mom approaches you. She smiles broadly, but when she sees that you are silent and you don't even look at Jungkook, she realizes that something is wrong.

"You're not talking much. It seems like you had a fight." - Your mom speculated.

"Yes, we did omony." - Jungkook admits. He's been calling your mom "omony" since he was a kid. She was his second mom because Jungkook spent a lot of time at your house. When you were kids, your mom was your babysitter. Jungkook's parents were busy at work, so Jungkook was with you every day until almost high school. In high school, he started coming only to visit. But he still has the habit of calling your mom "omony". "Y/N is offended by me." - You look at him. Why is he saying this to your mom?

"Daughter, what's wrong? Why are you mad at Jungkook?" - Mom asked with concern. You silently look at Jungkook with an annoyed look. He told you to come up with an answer. "I noticed right away that you didn't hug your best friend."

"It's because of my job. We celebrated Christmas together, you know. I had to leave Y/N on Christmas Eve." - Jungkook lies. Your eyebrows fly up. What a lie! The to mention the mafia and his kiss with ex, forgot?

"Honey, he probably couldn't do it any other way. Why are you so offended? But Jungkook-ah, boy, you should get more rest. Your mom recently complained to me that she rarely sees you. She must have been so happy that you came." - Your mom said. Jungkook smiled with a shadow of guilt.

"Actually, I haven't been home yet. I came straight to your place after arriving in Suwon." - You're shocked. He didn't even stop by his parents, whom he hadn't seen in almost a year? Was he that eager to see you?

"Son, the first thing you should’ve do is go to your parents. They are so missed." - Your mom gasps.

"I'll go right after I talk to Y/N. I still haven't give her a Christmas present yet." - Jungkook says in his defense. Your mom smiles slightly with curiosity.

"Then I think you two need to talk." - Your mom stands up and picks up the cups of tea. Jungkook smiles gratefully. "I want Eunok to see you as soon as possible. But wouldn't you like to stay for dinner? I'm did pickled crabs. It was your favorite dish I used to cook for you." - Your mother offers gently. You want to protest. Jungkook doesn't have to stay for dinner to eat your mom's pickled crabs. She can give him some to go. Jungkook answers before you do.

"Omony, really? You did pickled crabs? I'm so happy! I’m in time came to visit you." - Jungkook is overjoyed. "I am very happy to stay. I'm here for a few days, so my mom will have time to spend time with me." - Your mom is happy too. She is already excited to start cooking dinner.

"Mom, I promised you I would help you make dinner...." - You get up from the couch and walk towards your mom. She gently stops you.

"Honey, you need to talk to Jungkook. I'll start cooking by myself. When you're done, you can join me." - Your mom says and leaves you two alone.

You look after your mom, who has already gone to the kitchen. You hear Jungkook coming up behind you. He doesn't approaches to closer. You would like him to do this, but he respects your space.

"Can we go to your room? I don't think we can talk properly here." - Jungkook suggests. You think it's a good idea. Without answering, you walk towards the stairs.

"Mom, we'll be in my room." - You warn your mom and hear her shout "okay".

You enter the room first, leaving the door open for Jungkook to follow. Once inside, he closes the door behind him. He stands at the door looking at your room.

It hasn't changed and looks exactly the same as the last time he saw it. A small bed in the middle of the room. A bedside table next to it and your desk. The shelves around the desk are filled with sports books, comics, and sports awards. Several of them belong to Jungkook. He gave you cups, secretly dedicate these victories to you. Apart from his mom, you were his most ardent fan. To the right of the door is a wardrobe and large mirror in height. At window are delicate cream curtains. The room is cozy and you'd never say that a girl lived here.

There is a laptop on the bed, which you are already putting on the table. Jungkook walks over to your bed and sits down. You look at your friend carefully while remaining near table.

"Want to sit next to me?" - Jungkook asks, patting the bed next to him. He wants you to come closer.

"I'll stand. I've been lying on the bed all day." - You say calmly. Jungkook shakes his head and looks around your room in silence. You wait for him to speak. A light laugh leaves his lips.

"When we were at school, I used to come to this place so often. I feel like this is my room. The smell reminds me of those days." - Jungkook says. Your heart aches, that time was the best time of your life. Jungkook was there with all the time and was not involved in crime. Only sports, friendship, and precious memories. "Do you remember the time you hid me drunk from your parents? That morning I was running away through the window. Gosh, my mom gave me such a beating for not spending the night at home."

You remember that incident very well. Something happened between you that night that Jungkook doesn't remember because of the amount of alcohol he drank. It seems like that night you realized that you liked him.

Jungkook got drunk at a party the night before his graduation. You remember when a classmate of his called you and asked you to take Jungkook out of the house drunk because he was almost unconscious. It was around 2 a.m. You were reading comics and so you were awake. You sneaked out of the house and followed Jungkook.

At first, the plan was to take him home. But Jungkook turned out to be having, he could barely stand on his feet, and your house was closer to yours, so you decided to take him to yours. You had to take him quietly to your room so that your parents wouldn't wake up, and then send him home in the morning.

You remember texting Doohoon, hoping that he would answer and come to the rescue to take Jungkook home, but he didn't answer. You knew they were supposed to be together. Did Doohoon leave early because he had something to do?

Jungkook clung tightly to your body. It was spring, but the night was cold. But your friend was wearing only a T-shirt, a warm sweatshirt with a zipper, and cargo pants.

His body heat kept you warm. But the longer you walked, you sweated as you struggled to pull your muscular friend. He was bigger and taller than you. Your hardened body tired quickly because Jungkook was relaxed and leaning on you.

His arm was around your neck. His palm was at a dangerous distance from your chest. You took his hand so that he wouldn't accidentally touch them. He leaned his head against the crook of your neck. His hot breath burned the skin of your neck. Jungkook smelled of alcohol and perfume.

It wasn't far to your home, but the distance seemed too long. You stopped to catch your breath. Just a couple of minutes to regain your strength and cover the last meters to your house. When you stopped, you felt Jungkook move his head, which was resting on your shoulder. He buried his head in your hair and touched your warm skin with his nose. You instantly got goosebumps.

"Baby, you smell so good." - Jungkook murmured into your neck. You froze. He had never been this close before. You panicked.

"Shut up, Jeon. I swear I'm going to kill you first thing in the morning." - You snapped, desperately ignoring the way Jungkook's nose was touching your neck. He suddenly deviated and stood in front of you, hugging you. He was holding onto your waist and so wobbling. You looked at your friend angrily with raised eyebrows.

Jungkook looked at you with drunken, half-open eyes that glittered. He looked at your face from the height of his height for a few seconds, and then awkwardly put his hand on your jaw. He grabbed you a little painfully, squeezing your hair. You clicked your tongue nervously.

"Damn it, what are you doing?" - You said, unhappy.

"What do they see in you?" - He suddenly says. You're confused, you don't understand what he's talking about. "Let's see: nice eyes, small face, and plump lips." - He says, describing your face. He touches your lips with his finger. Your heart is beating like crazy. You look at your friend and feel embarrassed. Jungkook looks up at your hair and examines it. "Your hair is an interesting color, maybe that's why they find you attractive?" - He asks no one in particular. You don't understand who he's talking about.

"Who are you talking about? And why did you decide that now is the time to discuss my appearance? Let's go home, it's hard for me to hold you!" - You protested, throwing his hands off your face. But the thought of someone liking you made you happy. His arms fell around your waist and with a quick movement, he pushed you against his body. A soft cry escaped your throat. Jungkook was so close that you forgot how to breathe. He was looking at your lips, and you were dizzy. You were screaming in your head, what was happening?

"Do you think they can take you away from me? I don't think so. You're my friend and they won't touch you with their fucking fingers." - You could smell the alcohol as Jungkook spoke almost to your lips. You listened dumbfounded to what he was saying. Something inexplicable clogged your chest. Emotions you had never felt before. A little excitement mixed with admiration. What is he saying? He has no right to speak so possessively. If someone likes you, he shouldn't get in the way.

"Jungkook, don't be silly!" - You say, trying to distance yourself from your friend. You shouldn't be standing in the middle of the road at 2 in the morning like that. Jungkook squeezed you tighter, not letting you move away at all. You expected him to be much stronger than you. You thought that if he didn't let go, you would be forced to hit him.

"Would you like to kiss me?" - Jungkook suddenly asks. He caught you off guard once again. Your eyes got big and you forgot to breathe again. You asked yourself if you really wanted to do this. You were afraid that, looking at your best friend now, you did want it. He was so handsome, even though he had been drinking. His lips were a magnet. But he's your friend! It's Jungkook! He's probably just messing with you. You recovered and covered his face with your hand, pulling him away.

"Jeon, I'm going to kick you in your bells. You're crazy! I would never want to kiss you. You're my friend. Oh no you're just an asshole I'm friends with." - You said rudely, holding his face with your hand. He laughed into your hand. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears. Why does this idiot have to come out on you like this?

Jungkook loosened his grip on your waist and you instantly pulled away from him.

"Gosh, I think I'm going to throw up." - Jungkook said in a tortured voice when you let go of him. You were scared. Jungkook swayed and went to the bushes and you heard him vomit. You almost threw up yourself. You waited for him to finish.

Jungkook straightened up and turned to you. He smiled and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. You grimaced. God, why did this happen with you?

Walking into the house with Jungkook, who was drunk wasted, was a challenge. He was unsteady on his feet and telling loud. You took him to your room and sat him down on the bed. You locked the door and turned to Jungkook. His eyes were almost closed. But he had a stupid smile on his face. You walked over to him in frustration and kicked him. He cried out.

"For what?" - He hissed, folding in half and rubbing his leg where you kicked him.

"For being a pain in the ass." - You said harshly. You had to do it because he had given you so much trouble.

"I haven't been in your ass yet." - Your friend says, and you gasp at the insinuation.

"Shut your dirty mouth, idiot!" - You growl. "Take off your shirt, I'm going to wash it." - Jungkook straightens up and slowly tries to take it off. But he fails. Losing patience, you come over and help him take off his shirt. You try not to look at Jungkook, who is just staring at you. After taking off his shirt, you throw it over your arm.

"Come with me to the bathroom. I'll give you a toothbrush and toothpaste, brush your teeth and wash your bad mouth. If I hear a single squeak from you, I'll drown you in the tub." - You threaten. Jungkook barely gets out of bed and laughs cheekily.

"Will you help me take a shower?" - He asks leaning on you again.

"Do you want to die?" - You are angry, but Jungkook just laughs.

You make your way to the bathroom as quietly as you can. You pushed Jungkook and close the door. You lead him to the sink and hand him a new toothbrush and toothpaste. While he brushes his teeth, you throw his sweatshirt into the washing machine and set it on the fast cycle. It should be washed in 15 minutes.

Jungkook brushed his teeth while trying to stand on his feet. When he was done, he took off his T-shirt. When you saw this, you gave a soft yelp of surprise. Jungkook smiled slyly.

"I'm going to take a shower." - He said loudly, as it seemed to you. At that moment, you heard footsteps in the hallway and your heart sank. You ran to Jungkook and put your hand over his mouth. You turned on the water and told him to be quiet. You stood there for who knows how long. You turned off the water to hear if the footsteps had stopped. There seemed to be silence. Suddenly there was a light knock on the door.

"Daughter, why are you in the bathroom at this hour?" - You heard your mother's voice through the door. Your blood ran cold in your veins. Holly shit, if she found out that Jungkook was standing there shirtless and drunk in your bathroom at almost 3 a.m., you would be in trouble. Jungkook didn't seem to care. He didn't react in any way.

"Oh, mom..." - You say loudly. "I was reading comics. I forgot to take a bath. I'll take a quick wash and go to bed." - You lied.

"Okay, but don't stay up so late anymore. You'll look like a ghost during the day." - Your mother complained. "Good night." - She said.

"Good night, mom." - You answered and heard her leave. After a while you heard her go into the bedroom. You let go of Jungkook and walked away from him.

"Hurry up." - You order him. Jungkook takes off his pants and you turn away. How did you even get into a situation like this? "Wait, what are you going to sleep in?" - You suddenly thought. He's not going to sleep on the floor in his boxers, is he? Should you give him your robe? Will he fit in it?

"I can sleep naked." - Jungkook says. You forget that he is naked and turn to him. His almost naked body makes you blush. Because even for the split second you saw his body, you noticed how beautiful it was. You turn away from him.

"You're not sleeping naked in my room, Jeon." - You were angry. "Come on, get cleaned up quickly. I'll get you daddy's clothes."

Jungkook couldn't wash quickly enough. You waited for him for what seemed like forever. You were nervous. Mom might come back again because you were here too long. Jungkook was washing behind the curtain and you were embarrassed that he was naked. You had to make an effort not to think about him like that.

Less than an hour later, you ended up in your room. Fortunately, no one caught you. You left the room again to find your father's clothes to dress Jungkook. His shirt was fortunately washed and you took it to your room to dry.

You gave Jungkook Daddy's shirt and shorts. They fit your friend almost perfectly. At 18 years old, he was the same size as your dad. When Jungkook got changed, he climbed on your bed and made himself comfortable while you found the perfect spot for him on the floor. When you saw him lying on your bed, you were outraged. You walked over to him and pushed your friend to the side.

"Hey, you're not sleeping here!" - You said. Jungkook looked at you in surprise, as if he had just noticed you were in the room.

"Do you really think I'm going to sleep on the floor? No way." - Jungkook said and turned away from you. You started to get mad. What kind of asshole is he? You brought him to your house, drunk, provided everything for his comfort, put your blankets on the floor, and he's so insolent!

"Listen, Jungkook, you're not going to sleep in my bed. You better get on the floor or I'll throw you off!" - You threatened. But in a moment you were on the bed. Jungkook grabbed you by the waist and threw you over in one deft movement. You stared at your friend hovering over you in fright. He smiled slyly when he saw you frozen in terror.

"It's no problem if we sleep together on the bed." - Jungkook said still smiling.

"No. We won't!" - You protested.

"I'll sleep here. But if you don't want to sleep next to me, then go to the floor by yourself." - Jungkook said still hovering over you. You blushed. For the second time today, Jungkook was too close to you.

"This is my room and I decide who sleeps where." - You said without giving up. Your friend stared at you for a moment, and then you saw him start to approach. You closed your eyes, afraid of what might happen.

"Make me lie down somewhere else, baby." - Jungkook whispered in your ear. You felt his hot breath leave a mark on your ear. Your heart beat faster. Was this a glitch in the matrix or another reality? How did you end up in this situation with your friend? He always liked to tease you, but like this? What are you supposed to do? Lie still? Or throw him to the floor? You almost choke when he kisses you on the neck. You instantly feel everything inside you shrink. A pleasant sensation is felt in your lower abdomen. You're excited to the max.

"Jungkook!" - You call out, trying to push him away. You try not to think about how much you like it. Jungkook holds you close, leaving you with almost weightless kisses. You start to panic. You can't do this because Jungkook is drunk. You imagine when he wakes up in the morning and sees you next to him. He'll be upset that it's you and not some hottie. And it will also ruin your friendship. Jungkook almost reaches your lips and you put your hand out and he kisses your palm. When he realizes that it's not your lips, he looks at you dumbfounded.

"What are you doing?" - He asks.

"And what are you doing?" - You ask back. Your eyes are frightened.

"I'm trying to kiss you." - Jungkook replies. Your lips are still covered by your hand.

"I'm trying to stop you from kissing me." - You replies too. Jungkook raises his eyebrows.

"Are you serious?" - He asks you in disbelief that you're refusing. "Every girl in town wants to kiss me. Don't you want to?" - You can hear the sincere surprise in his voice.

"Come down to earth, Jeon. Not all the girls want to kiss you." - You say irritated. "First of all, I'm not all of them, and I'm your friend, you dumbass. And secondly, you're drunk, how are you going to look me in the eye in the morning?" - Jungkook touches the inside of his cheek with his tongue and finally lets go of you. He falls onto your pillow and closes his eyes. You think you'd better get out of bed.

You run away and lie down on the blanket you made for Jungkook. You will have to sleep on the floor. You lay down straight and froze as if in anticipation. Did Jungkook really want to kiss you? Oh my God, he kissed your neck. You couldn't believe that this had happened between you.

You laid on the floor, not moving, listening to his breathing and your heartbeat. You lay there for a while and heard Jungkook snoring.

In the morning you were woken up by a knock on the door. You woke up too suddenly.

"Wake up, daughter!" - You heard your father's voice. At that moment you thought you were going to die. The doorknob was coming down. Dad was trying to get into the room. Did didn’t remember if you to close the door yesterday when you came with your father's things for Jungkook? You jumped up from the floor, taking blanket and ran to the bed. It was just a matter of seconds. You throw the blanket you were sleeping on at Jungkook and fly under the covers, almost falling on top of your friend. He wakes up but can't understand what's happening. You cover him with two blankets. The door opens and your dad looks through the door. Shit, you didn't close the door.

"Flower, are you waking up? It's almost 12 o'clock. Mommy is worried you missed breakfast." - Your father says gently. And you just think that if Jungkook moves, or your father comes into the room and walks over to your bed, you're dead.

"Oh yeah, daddy. Just give me 15 minutes to get cleaned up." - You say, pretending to be asleep. You feel Jungkook under the covers, leaning his head against your side. God, he better not move or you'll kill that asshole if your father catches you both.

"Okay." - Your dad says, and wants to leave. But after a moment, he turns his head back. "Were you cold to sleep?" - He asks looking at the two blankets on your bed. They look bulky and this provides the perfect opportunity to hide Jungkook under them.

"Yes." - You say quickly. "It's so cold tonight I decided to sleep under two blankets." - You lie. You hear Jungkook laughing in your direction. You can already imagine yourself strangling him.

"But the temperature was above freezing this night." - Your father says. That's right, it's May. You freeze.

"But you know me, Daddy ! I'm always cold." - You make up an excuse on the fly and mentally beg your father to leave.

"You are?" - He asks. You are nervous again.

"Yes, dad! I'll be there in 15 minutes, give me time to get ready for lunch." - You say, a little irritated. Your dad apologizes and walks away. You immediately run to the door and lock it. You lean your head against the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

Jungkook crawled out from under the covers. His hair stuck out in all directions. His eyes and lips were slightly puffy. He smiled at you cheerfully. You stared at your friend in awe. He looked so attractive in the morning and his appearance made you forget how angry you were with him.

"I thought I was done for." - He said with a laugh. "If your father found me in your bed, I'd be dead, wouldn't I?" - You step away from the door and grab the pillow you were sleeping on. It flies at Jungkook. He covers himself with his hands.

"Jeon, get out of my room! Otherwise, I will be your death!" - You screamed, but quietly so your parents wouldn't hear you. You were so angry, he had caused you so much trouble.

He crawled out of bed to get away from you.

"How can I go? Your parents are downstairs." - Jungkook complained.

"I don't care. Teleport out. Climb out the window. Anything, but get out now." - You shouted finally, throwing a pillow at him. Jungkook skillfully caught it. You sat down on the bed and breathed heavily. God, you were so stressed. Jungkook carefully walked over to the bed and put the pillow down. You glared at him angrily, and he flinched, afraid of your gaze.

"I need to change my clothes." - He said carefully. You got up and went to get his things. They flew at Jungkook just like your pillow. He grabbed them and smiled.

You went to the closet and pulled out your terrycloth robe. Wrapping yourself in it, you watched Jungkook get dressed. You didn't admire his perfect body, just pierced him with an angry look. He did it quickly. Jungkook tried to style his hair, which was sticking out in different directions.

"How did I end up here?" - He suddenly asks. Your eyebrows fly up. Does he not remember anything?

"What do you mean?" - You snap back. "I brought you here because you were drunk. Don't you remember?"

"No. My head is so pounding." - Jungkook scrunches his face in pain, putting his hand to his head. "The last thing I remember is losing a bet and drinking a glass soju and after followed by a glass of beer." - You stared at Jungkook. What a rare douchebag!

"I knew you were out of your mind, but by how much..." - You complain. Jungkook is indignant.

"Oh, come on. It was a party. Everyone drinks there, you know..." - He says as if it's a good argument. You shake your head in disapproval, and walk over to him, pushing him toward the window to get out. Jungkook doesn't resist. It's a good thing he's climbed through your window many times and knows how to get down safely. He freezes at the window. You let him go.

"Baby. I at least not hit on you?" - Your friend is worried. You can see the anxiety in his eyes.

"What if you did, what will you do?" - You ask with excitement. You wonder how he'll get out of it, because he did hit on you. The memory of his lips on your neck makes you feel butterflies in your stomach.

"What do you mean? I couldn't be!" - Jungkook immediately denies. You raise your eyebrows. Of course he could! He did exactly that this night.

"Why couldn't you? Am I so ugly that you don't find me attractive even when you drunk?" - You say. Jungkook laughs, your sarcasm is his favorite thing.

"Yeah and you're not my type." - Jungkook replies, his voice serious. "I would never hit on you. Especially since you're my best friend. It's like picking on your sister." - You froze at his words. You're not his type? Of course I'm not. But what about that he say about your appearance? What a bustard!

"You're an idiot! You told me this night that I was beautiful and that many people liked me!" - You shouted nervously. But you kept silent about the fact that he said he wouldn't give you to anyone.

"Did I say that?" - Jungkook is genuinely surprised. "I guess I drank too much last night." - For these words, his side immediately suffers from your fist. Jungkook laughs and shuts his eyes.

"Get out of my sight, you jerk, and I don't want to see you for a week." - You say, shoving Jungkook out the window.

"How can you live without me for a week, baby? I'm your air breathe." - Jungkook teases you. You are almost trembling with anger.

"God knows I wanted to keep you alive, but your tongue is your enemy!" - You threaten and run to get the dumbbell that was lying in your room. When you get back to the window, Jungkook has already reached the ground and is running away with a cheerful smile. He waves goodbye, and you give him the middle finger.

You lie down on the bed face down and smell the subtle scent of Jungkook's perfume. You feel a tremor inside. What happened between you tonight has made you look at Jungkook differently. Now the mere sight of him makes you feel admiring and elated. What did he do with you?

This memory will remain in your mind forever. Because it was after that night that everything between you changed. Could you have imagined then that you would have sex with Jungkook? And that it would give you immense pleasure? Could you have imagined that you could feel some crashing or even fall in love with him and you wouldn't know what to do with it?

Jungkook smiles a sweet smile, probably remembering the morning you beat him. But you are hurt by the sight of him. Because he's not the Jungkook you knew anymore.

"You wanted to talk." - You remind your friend why you're in your room, and it's not because of happy memories from your youth.

"Yes." - Jungkook confirms and his cheerful, beautiful smile is gone. He runs his eyes over your face and finally says. "She did it on purpose. I didn't want to kiss her." - You look at Jungkook and hear your pulse pounding in your ears. So he decide to start with this?

"You didn't mean to, but you kissed." - You say.

"I didn't kiss her back. That hooker did it at Dohoon's request." - Jungkook says seriously.

"Meaning?" - You don't understand.

"That moron brought her to Japan specifically to distract me from you while he told you what I've become. He found out that we went to Japan to get the devices he stole, so he followed us. He's a fucking bone in my throat." - You realize that the trip to Japan was a cover for a job. You suspected it right away.

You ask Jungkook what the devices are, and he tells you.

Jungkook was supposed to guard the transportation of expensive medicines devices. Hoseok entrusted him with this job because he was so busy. But Doohoon, who had recently arrived in Korea, decided to remembering to Jungkook about himself.

He forged documents and substituted spoiled devices. Because of this, his company had problems with the customer. Jungkook said that he tried to resolve the issue so that Namjoon would not find out about the lost deal. Jungkook even mentioned the amount of the deal, which left you speechless. He said that Doohoon went straight to the hard methods. If Namjoon found out about the devices, your friend would be charged with another $50 million debt.

Jungkook also told how he got working on Namjoon. That the super fight was invented by Doohoon and offered Namjoon to make a lot of money on Jungkook. He say that he fought so often because they paid a lot of money for him, and that Doohoon only made a couple of appearances to make it look like he were fighting too.

In fact, Dohun lost a lot of money in casinos and betting in Namjoon’s club. A lot of money. And to pay off his debt, he brought Jungkook to Namjoon to make a lot of money. And everything was working until that idiot invited their classmate (who turned out to be the son of a policeman who hunted on Namjoon) to join them and fight in illegal fights. The policeman's son got all the important information. He even came with them to the club before the "super fight". That's how the police showed up that night.

Namjoon lost a lot of money and made Jungkook look bad. Doohoon did his best to make it happen. To save his own ass, he put the blame on Jungkook, saying that he told their classmate, even though he knew that he was the son of a policeman.

Jungkook said that he tried to escape from Namjoon three times. But the last time he was caught, Jungkook was severely beaten. They threatened that they would kill his parents and brother, and then finally kill him. He was told that either he brings all the money and is free (it was obvious that this option would not work, because Jungkook did not have that kind of money), or he works for Namjoon. He fulfills all his orders, working off his debt, and then he is free. Otherwise, if he doesn't agree to any of these conditions, his family and himself will suffer.

You listened to all this and just couldn't believe it. Doohoon is such a dickhead. Why did he do this to Jungkook? The three of you had such a great friendship. There had to be some reason for Doohoon to hate Jungkook so much, and it definitely wasn't simple envy. It had to be something significant, something that made your former friend go crazy.

Jungkook must have known the reason for this hatred. It was you. Right from the start. Because Doohoon had liked you since you started hanging out together, and Jungkook was greedy for you. Doohoon told Jungkook that he liked you, and then something clicked in Jungkook. He didn't want the two of you to start dating, which is probably why Jungkook started spending a lot of time with you then. He really hardly ever left you and Doohoon alone. Later on, when his classmate and the guys at the sports school started paying attention to you, Jungkook became jealous. But how could he confess to you? You were friends and you never fell for Jungkook's flirtations.

Later, when Doohoon started to show you a lot of attention, Jungkook got drunk and told his friend that he wanted to fuck you. He didn't say it on purpose, but he was just releasing his true desires under the influence of alcohol. That's when everything started to fall apart.

You started to cry, you imagined what Jungkook had to go through. And you were sure that these stories were the tip of the iceberg.

It hurt Jungkook to see you crying. He came to you and hugged you. You felt awe when his scent hit your nose. You leaned your cheek against his chest and cried hard. You realized that you had missed his closeness so much. Only in that embrace did you feel alive. Back at the hotel, when you saw him covered in blood, you were scared and afraid. But now, being in Jungkook's arms, you mentally scolded yourself. How could you think that he could hurt you?

You hugged him tightly, clutching his sweatshirt in your fists. Jungkook buried his head in your shoulder. He can finally touch you. To be close to you. When he arrived today and saw you looking at him standing by the stairs. He realized that he would never let you go again.

Jungkook picked you up and carried you to the bed. He sat down, putting you on his lap, listening patiently as you cried. When you had cried out all the regret that had accumulated inside you, you finally stopped crying.

"Are you okay, baby?" - Jungkook whispered. He was so close to your face that you could feel his breath on your cheek. He touched your cheek lightly with his lips.

"I’m terrible." - You admitted. Jungkook hummed.

"That's why I didn't tell you anything." - He complained softly. "I knew you'd cry. But I promised you I would only tell you the truth..." - He says, and your eyes fill with hot tears again. That's how he promised to tell the truth in day before the Christmas party. Jungkook wipes your tears away with his thumb as he looks at you. His heart is breaking, he doesn't want you to cry for him.

"Jungkook, you didn't kill anyone, did you?" - You suddenly ask, calming down a bit. This question was probably the one that worried you the most.

You met Jungkook's big eyes, which were darting between yours. It scared you that he hadn't said anything for so long. Could he have done something like that?

"No." - He finally said. You were relieved. "I didn't kill people. But the methods I use are not the most humane." - Jungkook admitted.

"What are your duties?" - You ask, even though you already know. Your Sunbaenim helped you find out. Jungkook hesitates. He doesn't think you should know.

"Baby, I don't want to tell you this. These are dangerous things. It's better if you don't know." - Your friend says. You sit on his lap and feel the warmth of his body. You feel so good around Jungkook. Maybe he's right. Besides you know something. Eliminating unnecessary people isn't necessarily murder, is it? You want to ask, but you can't expose yourself.

"Okay." - You agree quietly. "But what about everyone else? All your friends you introduced me to, they all work for Namjoon?"

"Yes. We all work for him." - Jungkook confirms.

"Do you trust them?" - You ask. Jungkook tries to understand what your question means.

"Yes, I trust them. Why do you ask?"

"They all know me. It scares me a little bit." - Jungkook stares at you.

"You don't have to be afraid of them, baby. I know these guys very well. They won't lay a finger on you because they know they're will dealing with me." - He sounded serious. You smiled. Everyone was afraid to deal with Jungkook since high school. But now it's a whole another level.

"What about Namjoon?" - You ask. Jungkook fixes the hair that's falling over your face.

"You are completely my responsibility. And if Namjoon tries to do anything to you, he'll have to deal with me, too." - You smile in pain. He is so confident. What you'd expect from Jungkook. You stare at each other and Jungkook breaks first.

He gently takes your neck and pulls you in for a kiss. When your lips touch, you are cold. His lips are so desirable. You return the kiss with insistence. Jungkook plunges his tongue into your mouth. You intertwine your tongue with his and deepen the kiss. Jungkook strokes your back as if to calm you down. He kisses you as if to say: "Here I am, and I won't leave you anymore."

Your eager kiss is interrupted by a knock on the door. You quickly jump off Jungkook's lap and run back to the window. Your mom appears in the doorway.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, daughter..." - Your mom apologizes. She sees that you are distracted. But you need to turn to your mother to know the reason for her coming. When you return, your mother sees your teary eyes, but she skillfully hides her embarrassment.

"It's okay, mom, we're done now. I'll help you with dinner..." - You are about to leave. Jungkook gets up to go with you, but your mom stops you both.

"I don't need any help. I have everything almost ready. I put the yukkejang on to cook, because it will be perfect for tonight's frosty evening. But I just got a call from Ajuma Jihee, asking me to help her finish the soybean paste. I gave her the recipe and I think she did something wrong." - Says your mom. "I'm just going to go out for 40 minutes, and when I come back, the yukkejang will be ready. Daughter, just stir it from time to time so that it cooks well. Dad will be back soon, so don't be sad." - Your mom left, closing the door.

You looked at Jungkook, who was standing behind you. You smiled weakly, you almost got caught. You're about to go downstairs to watch the soup when Jungkook grabs your arm. He pulls you toward him, his arms around your waist. You stare at your friend in awe.

"Forty whole minutes..." - He says, leaning down and capturing your lips. You mumble, resisting just a little, but otherwise giving in to his skillful lips. You move your lips against his and get a little nervous. What if mom comes in again? But when Jungkook kisses you and leads you to the bed, you realize what he meant earlier. You protest again by mooing into Jungkook's mouth. He stops when your feet hit the bed.

"Kook, we can't have sex in my room. Mom hasn't left yet, and Dad should be home soon..." - You warn him. In a moment, you find yourself on your back, pressed against the mattress by your friend. He smiles slyly and doesn't seem to care that your mom is somewhere nearby. You feel your heart beating against your chest. It's like an electric charge is running through your body. You forget about caution when Jungkook starts kissing you. He grabs your jaw with his hand, squeezing it a little harder, and shoves his tongue deep into your mouth. He kisses you so passionately that the heat rushes through you like lightning.

Your brain is working at high speed, and your body is freezing in anticipation. It's both impatience and sweet intrigue at the same time.

"Shall we finish what we started in this room?" - Jungkook asks as he pulls away from your lips, his hand already hidden under your sweater. He slides his hand under your bra and squeezes your breast. You hold back a moan, biting your lip.

"What do you mean?" - Instead of answering, you ask your own question, breathing heavily.

"What we started the night before my graduation." - Jungkook answers. You round your eyes in shock. Is he talking about the night he almost kissed you for the first time?

"You didn't remember anything the next morning!" - You remind him indignantly. Jungkook smiles seductively. He lifts up your orange warm sweatshirt, lowers your bra, and kisses your nipple. You feel Jungkook's wet tongue on your nipple and it makes you wet your underwear already. He grabbed your breast with his hand, squeezing it with a little force and sucking on the burgundy bud. He plays with the most sensitive part with his tongue and it makes you want to more.

"It's time to confess to you." - Jungkook says when he stops kissing your breasts. Your breathing is labored because of your excitement. You feel Jungkook pressing his half-erect cock against your pussy. It's not hard enough yet. But it won't be for long. "I was going to fuck you then." - He says with a sly smile on his lips, and you just can't believe it.

"What?" - You ask again. He couldn't want to fuck you when you were 17 years old.

"Yeah, baby, we could have been together a long time ago. But I still win, your virginity is mine." - He says and takes off your sweater. He also frees you from your bra with his skillful hands.

"Really? You've been dreaming of fucking me for so long?" - You ask with irony. Although you are just shocked that your friend has been trying to get you into bed for so long.

"Absolutely. But you were so scared at the time, you didn't even let me kiss you. I am one hundred percent sure that if you had let me kiss you, you would have become a woman that night." - Jungkook assures you. He kisses you eagerly, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You answer him with the same greed, as if you were living only for this moment. This kiss ignited a fire between you, your mutual need for each other was too obvious.

Your body silently begged for more, and more, and more as he moved from your lips to your neck. He kissed millimeter by millimeter, as if he were trying to cover every part of your tender skin. You moaned softly, which fueled Jungkook's arousal. He rubbed his cock against you, which became harder with each movement. He wants to fuck you, so you should hurry up while you're the only two at home.

Jungkook pulls himself off your neck and hangs over you. Your faces are separated by a quality of centimeters. You open your eyes and see Jungkook's seductive smile. Your cheeks burn from your closeness.

"Do you want me to fuck you now, or shall we have dinner and I'll take you to the park and fuck you in the car?" - Jungkook gives you a choice. The fact that he's going to fuck you tonight is not even up for discussion. You can only choose the place.

You feel his cock presses into your pussy. Your underwear is soaked with moisture. And you like the position you're in. You can wait for the evening. It's risky to have sex in your room, knowing that your parents could come back at any time. But somehow this makes you even more needy.

"Can you wait after dinner time?" - You ask Jungkook to get his opinion. You don't want him to think that you want him that badly. So you ask him if he can wait.

"Fuck, no. I want to fuck you right now." - You smile at the note of intolerance in his voice.

"Then we better hurry, darling." - You say, agreeing.

"I don't want to hurry. I want to enjoy you." - Jungkook confesses.

"But we really don't have much time." - You say with desperation. Jungkook smiles at you and gets out of bed. You notice his hard cock resting against his fly. You lift up on your elbows to follow his actions and see Jungkook walk to the door and lock it. On his way to you, he takes off his clothes, throwing them somewhere on the floor.

He comes to the bed and you admire his perfect body. His pumped-up chest and biceps move in time with his hands undoing the waistband of his pants. He looks too sexy. He looks at you with a lustful gaze. Jungkook takes off his pants while studying your face, his eyes moving down to your bare tits and finally settling on your crotch.

Jungkook doesn't like that you're still wearing your pants. He wraps his fingers around your ankle and pulls you to the edge of the bed with a sharp movement. A scream sticks in your throat. Jungkook slowly pulls off your pants. Only your underwear remains. After a moment, Jungkook grabs the edge of the cotton fabric and pulls it down. There is something so intimate about this action. That moment when he undresses you makes you feel adoration for him. You love it when he takes off your clothes with his own hands. You like it when he is in complete control of you. You want to worship him like a king who owns the whole world.

Jungkook sees your naked body and goes a little crazy. He doesn't understand why every time you have sex, his desire to have you grows stronger, and now he almost on the verge of obsession.

Jungkook spreads your legs and sighs in anticipation. He's finally going to taste your sweet pussy. And then he's going to fuck it so well that you'll remember it for a long time.

He gets down on his knees and places his face right in front of your wet cunt. He can hear you breathing heavily. Jungkook takes your ass with his hands to have the best angle. He kisses your inner thigh and you just tremble. His lips are beautiful on any part of your body. He kisses your thighs slowly, even though your wet cunt, which is in his field of vision, is terribly attractive to him.

You clutch the blanket in your hands. The pain in your lower abdomen is becoming unbearable, and you desperately need Jungkook's touch. Jungkook kisses your other thigh, moving closer to your most desired spot.

When his tongue finally touches your clit, an uncontrollable moan escapes your lips. Jungkook licks your clit three times with his tongue, pressing it pleasantly. Your legs tremble with pleasure.

"It's sweet." - He says directly into your cunt, and then bursts in with his lips. His tongue sucks on your clit and you just go crazy with pleasure. You moan loudly, trying to ease the sweet torture of Jungkook's tongue. Your back arches to relieve your condition. When he pushes his tongue into your passage, you go crazy. He pushes it in and out, and his finger caresses your clit. You can feel your orgasm coming.

"Kook..." - You whisper to warn him, but he doesn't let go. He fucks your hole with his tongue, while simultaneously tormenting you with his fingers. After a moment, he sticks his tongue out and presses his lips to your clit. He kisses you gently a few times and then sucks you as hard as he can. The blanket is clenched in your fists so tightly that your fingers go numb. A moment later, you come on Jungkook's tongue. A pleasant pleasure spreads through your body.

Jungkook pulls away from your cunt, his lips and chin glistening with your cum. Jungkook smiles. He gets to his feet. He can't get enough of your excited face.

You open your eyes and stare at Jungkook in awe. He really a king, or no, he is a Greek god created to give pleasure. Your lips stretch into a blissful smile.

"I don't think I can ever get enough of this sweet pussy." - Jungkook says as he takes off his boxers. His cock is excited. It jumps up, bumping against his thighs as your friend frees him from the captivity of his underwear. Semen drips from the tip, and you think you want to taste it and feel its salty flavor.

Jungkook holds out his hands to you, and you place your palm in his. He asks you to get out of bed. You get to your feet and they tremble slightly. The sensations from your orgasm are still present between your legs.

Your best friend, or should say lover, sits on the edge of the bed. He invites you to sit on top and ride his cock. You don't hesitate for a second to get on top.

When your bodies touch, you feel how hot Jungkook is. You sit on his lap, holding onto his back. He gently supports you by the waist. He puts two fingers in your passage to stretch you. You close your eyes against the pleasant sensation of his fingers in your middle, and you hear him smile. You seem to get even wetter as you wait for the grand prize.

"My good girl. So wet for me. That tight pussy will swallow my cock perfectly." - You moan and smile at Jungkook's praise. You open your eyes and see your friend's handsome face. His eyes shine with a devilish light, and his seductive smile makes you more excited than ever, even though there's no to where. He licks your lips, plunging his long, knotted fingers deep into you. "Come on, baby, have a good ride." - Jungkook urges you to sit on his cock.

You rise up on your knees, leaning on the bed and Jungkook puts the head of his cock against your entrance. You lower yourself carefully. He holds your ass, squeezing your meat. When you're completely down on Jungkook's cock, you both let out a moan of pleasure.

Your gaze falls to Jungkook's lips and you just drink in them greedily. You kiss Jungkook with your tongue. He laughs into your lips. He is delighted that you are kissing him so passionately. You've finally shown him how much you need him.

You start to move on his lap. Jungkook fills you to the brim with his cock. He hits you deeply every time you jump on top to create the right friction. Jungkook is fucking you so perfectly. You moan. Your breasts bounce in time with your movements. Why does it feel so good? Why so passionate? You close your eyes and surrender completely to your needs.

"Fuck!" - Jungkook swears. "Your pussy is the tightest in the world. I just want to fuck it forever." - You scratch the skin on Jungkook's shoulders. You want to be fucked only by Jungkook, too. He squeezes your buttocks to help you move. The sound of your bodies slamming into each other fills the space around you. Your head spins around.

Jungkook wraps his arms around you. He thinks you're so small in his arms. He drives his cock into you sharply and deeply, enjoying the friction of your sensitive parts.

Suddenly he stands up, supporting your body with his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist. You try to figure out what he wants to do. Jungkook carries you to the wall. He leans you against it, and you can see your reflection in the mirror. You see his bare buttocks and your legs wrapped around his waist. He is fucking you, thrusting your swollen pussy.

You look at yourself in the mirror and can't get enough of the sight. You dip your nails into his hair and pull lightly. Jungkook pushes you down to the ground and gets out of you. His cock is glistening with your wetness. He kisses you, grabbing your cheeks again with one hand. His tongue is deep in your mouth. Your lips are swollen from the constant kissing.

"This mirror." - Jungkook says in a low voice that penetrates every cell in your body. "Every time I looked at it, I imagined myself fucking you in front of it." - You are shocked. Your friend is so depraved in his thoughts. Why would he want to fuck you in front of a mirror? "I finally have the opportunity." - Jungkook smiles.

He moves closer to your neck. His lips kiss your skin, giving you goosebumps. You feel your wetness dripping down your inner thighs. His kiss on your neck excites you to the limit.

"Jungkook..." - You call out to him. You want him to shove his cock back inside you and give you a good fuck. The thought of him doing it in front of the mirror is exciting.

"Yes, baby." - He responds to the call of his name.

"Take me." - You ask. You want Jungkook too much. You need him too much. Jungkook holds you close. You feel his strong body. His chest is pressed firmly against yours. His big hand squeezes your asshole, digging his nails into the skin. His erect cock is pressing against your pubes. It's so sexy between you.

Jungkook leads you to the mirror. He settles down behind you. Jungkook's cock presses against your ass. He kisses your neck and squeezes your breasts with his hands, massaging them. You moan. It feels good. You want more. You close your eyes and Jungkook looks at you in the mirror.

"Open your eyes and look straight ahead." - He orders you somewhat imperiously, while pushing your folds apart. His gentle, unhurried finger movements on your clit ignite your entire insides. You think today he is caressing you such many times, more than usual.

You listen to his orders. You look at yourself naked in the mirror and your excitement grows exponentially. "Now you can see what you look like when I fuck you. This is your best look." - He whispers in your ear.

He plunges his fingers into your passage, smears moisture over your folds. You breathe heavily. Light moans leave your mouth. Jungkook bends you over, and you grab the frame of the mirror that shows you in full view. Jungkook puts his cock against your hole. You feel Jungkook plunging into your passage. As he fills you with his thick cock, you cheer.

Jungkook looks at you through the mirror. Your face looks pained. Your eyebrows are drawn together, your mouth is slightly open and your eyes are closed. You must see what you look like when he gives you divine pleasure.

"I told you to open your eyes." - Jungkook leans down. His body presses against your back. He puts his hand on your throat and lifts you up. He bites your ear and growls. "Don't make me punish you." - You struggle to remember how to breathe. If it weren't for the fluid stroke of his cock, you wouldn't even do it.

Jungkook bends you back, releasing your throat. Now he can get better access to your cunt. He starts to move while fucking you. He holds your hips with his hands to better control the thrusts. Your moans and the sounds of your bodies intertwine in a perfect symphony.

You look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are not yourself. But your appearance in it makes you look depraved. You meet Jungkook's gaze in the mirror. Absolutely dark, focused only on you.

He slows down, driving his cock lazily and deeply into you. You want more friction.

"Kook... faster..." - You ask.

"Faster?" - Jungkook asks you again, continuing to thrust his cock ruthlessly into your vagina.

"Yes..." - You exhale.

"Do you want me to fuck you fast like a whore?" - He asks. You moan blissfully. You want to.

"Yes. Fuck me like a whore." - You ask. Jungkook stops and you hear his heavy breathing. He doesn't mind at all. But for some reason today, Jungkook doesn't want to rush. He wants to enjoy every moment with you.

But he knows that time is short. That’s why he'll try some other time. When you're in your apartment together and he makes you scream all night.

Jungkook picks up the pace. His cock works wonders. Sex with Jungkook is like a short-term nirvana. You moan from his fast hip movements. He pushes his cock into you to the maximum and freezes. Your orgasm is coming.

You look at yourself in the mirror and think that the picture can't get any better. It's like you're watching a fucking porno with Jungkook and yourself in the lead role. He's fucking your hole. One hand caresses your clit. Fuck, it feels so good.

"I'll... I'll come over, Kook." - You say between thrusts.

"No, baby. I'm not done with you." - Jungkook doesn't let you. He pulls out of you almost at the exact moment you're about to cum. You breathe heavily leaning against the mirror. You can feel your cunt burning. You are disappointed because you could have already felt the most desirable sensation, and Jungkook didn't finish the job.

Before you can properly recover, Jungkook wraps his big arm around your waist and leads you back to the bed. You look at his tattoos with a blurry gaze. He lays you down gently on the bed and climbs on top of you, but he doesn't go inside you right away. You breathe heavily in sync.

He looks at your face and can't get enough of it. During sex, you are the most beautiful person in the world. You drive him crazy. You excite his every cell. Jungkook kisses you, gently, almost lovingly. He pulls away when he has enjoyed your lips enough. He lifts up and turns you over onto your stomach. His hands are on your hips and he lifts your ass to enter you.

You are wet. Despite the fact that he ate you, you release so much moisture that your tight cunt swallows his cock with ease. He plunges into your passage and moans. You know you'll never get enough of this. You grab the sheet with your hand. Jungkook pounds you with his cock, finding your G-spot almost instantly. You can't hold back the screams that come out of your throat. Your mind is so blinded by the lust and pleasure of your friend's thick cock that you forget where you are. But you're home, in your room, and your parents should be home soon. You don’t care, you scream because it feels so damn good.

"Come on, baby, now come on my cock." - Jungkook orders you, feeling your walls begin to clench around his cock. His strokes are fast, deep, and almost ruthless. Your orgasm comes just as he asks you to. You lean your head against the mattress, feeling euphoric, high, ecstatic. Why the fuck is sex with Jungkook so good?

Jungkook is chasing his own orgasm. In just a few quick thrusts, he fills you with his hot cum. You feel Jungkook's cock twitching inside you, filling your passage to the brim.

He slowly stops moving. He stops when his cock softens. Jungkook pulls out of you and falls to the spot next to you. You both breathe as if you've been running a long marathon.

You feel a little cum spilling out of your passage. Your sheets are soiled and you'll have to change them.

Jungkook crawls over to you, kisses your lips, and when he pulls away, he smiles cheerfully.

"Did you like it?" - He asks you. "Because I loved it." - Jungkook confesses.

"It was fucking good." - You admit the same thing. Sex with Jungkook is exactly the kind of thing that gives you maximum physical pleasure. Jungkook pecking on your lips. "You came in me again." - You complain gently.

"I have emergency contraception in the car." - Jungkook reassures you. You smile ironically, raising your eyebrows.

"You knew what you were doing." - You say, hinting that he was going to come inside you from the beginning. Jungkook strokes your face with his hand.

"It's crazy, but I want my cum to fill you every time I fuck you. It's like I'm signing you by myself." - He emphasizes the last word and you feel excited. If you're his, he cannot to kiss his ex anymore.

"If you think I'm yours, then you're mine." - You say, lowering your voice. You sound so serious that Jungkook is surprised. He has never heard you sound so powerful. "If I ever see your ex again, or see you flirting with other people, you'll know what the fire inside me really is." - Jungkook laughs out loud and can't wait to kiss you.

"Your jealousy makes me hot." - Jungkook says as he pulls away from your lips.

"I find my jealousy annoying, so you better not test my nerves." - You say. "Let me go, I have to take a quick shower. I think the yukkejang is burnt. My mom will kill me." - You complain. Before you leave the room, you turn to Jungkook, who is lying completely naked on your bed, looking at you. "Move your ass, Jeon, and get me a pill, or you'll be a father in nine months." - You finally get out. Jungkook lies there like a stone. Your words about fatherhood seem to have hit him over the head.

For a moment, he imagined how beautiful you would be pregnant, carrying his child under your heart. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away. He can't think about that. Because you are already his Achilles' heel.

He is strictly forbidden to think about a normal life, a family, or a child while he is working for Namjoon. Jungkook doesn't know if he'll ever be able to plan for that. Being in a relationship with you is already a lot of pressure for him, because he is responsible for your life, which could be in danger at any moment.

He really fell in love with you because you are all he can think about lately. He can't admit it to you because he doesn't want you to get attached to him, but he wants you to be able to see his love. It has been present in his actions, in his behavior for a long time.

Jungkook tries to be reserved, but his heart betrays him in every little thing. His love is his silent presence, his desire to make your day better, even when he's fighting his own demons.

"Read my love." - He repeats in his mind every time he touches you with his eyes. He can't say it out loud, but he’ll show you. Again and again, until you realize that you are his only reason to breathe.

↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱

[i-am-baechu]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐ Welcome Home ⁞ K. Seokjin

⌂ Summary: Jin remembers his life before the military and all it took was a small hello. 

⌂ Paring: Established relationship: Seokjin x Wife! Reader 

⌂ Rating: Explicit (18+) 

⌂ Genre: Established relationship, little angst, fluff and smut 

⌂ Playlist: Rock With You - Seventeen 

Jin was smiling through the Weverse Live and he was with his brothers to make things even better. It was clear how happy he was to be back. When everything was done, he leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling with a blank expression. The nerves were finally coming forward and making him sick. He couldn’t tell if it was good or bad nerves. It was something. 

“Hyung, are you okay?” 

He sat up and turned his head towards Jungkook, “Nervous.” 

“Hyung, noona missed you.” 

“I missed her too but...it’s different.” 

Namjoon shook his head and turned towards Jin with furrowed eyebrows, “Y/N is your wife. How can it be different?” 

Before Jin could say something, Yoongi came back into the room putting his phone in his pocket, “My sister is waiting for you. Go see her.” 

Jin sighed and nodded his head, “I know...I’m just nervous.”

“Why-”

“Maybe it’s because he has a baby now.” 

Jin rubbed his forehead harshly and nodded his head, “What happens if I mess up? Jun could hate me if I mess up.” 

Yoongi shook his head and sat next to him on the couch, “You're thinking too much. Parenting is going to be hard no matter what but it's going to melt away when you see him.” 

“It’s not just that...it’s guilt. I couldn’t help Y/N through the early stages and...I left it all up to her. I wanted to be with her through the whole process.” 

Yoongi rubbed his back gently and sighed, “You guys didn’t plan to have Jun. It happens, you get to see his life now and be a part of it.” 

“What if Jun hates me?”

Hoseok shook his head and took a sip of his water, “Y/N shows your picture every night before Jun goes to bed. He doesn’t hate you.” 

Taehyung clapped his hands and stood up wiping the dust off his pants, “Go see the women of your dreams. The nerves will wash away the moment you see her.”

Jimin nodded his head at this, “Y/N misses you. Go see her, she’s been waiting long enough for you.” 

Y/N finished putting the decorations up and smiled proudly to herself. The whole living room was covered in decorations made by Jun and it was very cute. He tried his best to draw but they just came out as blobs but they were cute blobs. She still remembers the day she told Jin that she was pregnant and the pure shock. 

Y/N sat in the bathroom and waited for the test to be done. This was the longest ten minutes of her life. She couldn't be pregnant, they were always careful. The timing is horrible too, Jin was leaving to the military in a month and here she was a newlywed waiting for her pregnancy test. She leaned against their bathroom wall and spaced out. She was scared. 

She heard the beeping noise and she immediately rushed to the small white stick. Her eyes widened and she let out a nervous laugh, “Holy shit...” 

“Y/N! I’m home!” 

She glanced at the door and then back at the test. She has to tell the father but how is she gonna tell Jin? She put the test in her back pocket and fixed herself in the mirror, “Coming!” 

She walked outside and smiled at him. He just finished filming something for his solo and he was dressed in a cute sweater. She loved it when he wore the oversized sweaters. It made her heart flutter. Jin turned towards her and smiled, “Where were you?”

“I had to go to the bathroom...do you want spaghetti tonight?” 

He raised his eyebrow at this and shrugged his shoulders, “Sure.”

“You know there's this sauce called prego.”

He let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “I’m aware.”

“What if I said I was prego?”

Jin dropped his phone and he turned towards her with wide eyes, “What?” 

“Prego?” 

Y/N walked into Jun’s room and lifted him up from his crib. She kissed his chubby cheek and smiled, “It’s time to meet Daddy. I know he’s nervous to meet you. Just be patient with him.” Jun let out a small giggle and Y/N couldn’t help but the warmth in her chest erupts, “He’s going to fall in love with you the moment he sees you.” 

They walked into the living room and Y/N sat on the couch with Jun in her arms. He was playing with her hair as put on calming music for him, “Jun, no pulling hair. That hurts mommy.” 

Jun patted Y/N’s chest and she frowned at this, “I just fed you...Are you still hungry?” 

Jun didn’t say anything but patted their chest again. She sighed and pulled down her shirt and bra for Jun. She gently brought him to her nipple and she leaned back on the couch. She closed her eyes for a second when she heard the door close. She snapped her head towards the door and smiled, “Jin!?” 

“Darling? Where are you?”

“I’m in the living room with Jun.”

Jin took a deep breath and put his bags on the floor. He made his way towards the living room and his eyes softened at the scene. All the nerves disappeared when he saw the women that he loved feeding their child. She looked so beautiful at this moment and he walked slowly towards her, “Jin? Did you hear what I said?” 

He kneeled in front of her and his finger gently touched Jun’s cheek. A small tear appeared and he looked up at her, “This is the happiest I've ever been. I missed you guys so much.” 

Y/N fought back the tears and leaned forward placing a kiss on his forehead, “We missed you too.” 

Jun released her nipple and turned towards Jin with curious eyes. His tiny hands grabbed the collar of his shirt and Jin let out a small laugh, “Hi, baby. It’s me, your daddy.”

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Can I?”

Y/N let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “He’s your son, of course, you can hold him.”

She gently passed Jun into his arms and it was clear that he was natural. It warmed her heart to see him holding Jun. It’s been months since the last time he saw them. Jin glanced back at Y/N and smiled at her, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

They both let out a small laugh and he leaned forward giving her a quick kiss, “My wife, I missed you.”

“I missed you so much more.”

He glanced down and let out a small cough. He looked away with shame on himself, “I didn’t mean to look...”

“What?” She glanced down and realized that breast was still out and she let out a small laugh. She fixed herself up and leaned forward placing a kiss on his nose, “You’ve seen them before.” 

“I know but I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck (not squishing Jun in the process), “You can never make me uncomfortable.” 

He smiled at her and glanced down at Jun with a frown, “I was nervous to come home.”

“Talk to me.”

He glanced at her and then back at Jun, “I was nervous that I wouldn’t be a good father...I thought Jun would hate me to be honest.” 

“He could never hate you. You’re here now, that’s what matters.” 

“Seeing you with him...it made all the nerves wash away. I love you so much, Kim Y/N.”

“I love you Kim Seokjin.” 

He sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room with a smile, “Nothings changed.” 

She looked up from her phone and she let out a small laugh, “I wouldn’t change anything without your permission.” 

“I like this picture of Jun, he looks so cute.”

She sat up from her side and crawled towards him. She draped her arms over his wide shoulders and gently ran her hands over his chest, “That was his first time home. I wanted to take a picture of your purple jacket with him.” 

Jin glanced away from the picture and then back at her, “I missed you guys much.” She kissed the back of his neck and nuzzled her head into his, “We missed you too.” 

His body leaned back into her touch and smiled. Her fingertips made an undefined shape on his bare skin and his breathing became shallow. She removed her hand and crawled back into bed. He turned his head and she gave him a small smile, “Do you want your welcome home gift?” 

“I thought Jun was...”

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Part of it.” 

“Sure I want my gift.”

“Then come and get it.”

He crawled towards her until he was covering her fully. He leaned down and kissed her lips fully. His lips part, running his tongue over hers as she moaned into his mouth. His arms hooked around her waist and he brought her closer, “Take off your shirt.”

“Whatever you want.” 

She took off her white shirt and his eyes landed on her breast. His hands palm at her breast and he leaned down, taking a nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked at the bud and her back slowly arched at the feeling, “Jin...” 

Thank god she doesn’t wear anything underneath her bedtime shirt to bed. 

His fingers pushed through her slick folds and rubbed circles on her needy clit, “I love you so much.”

“I-I love you more.” 

Jin quickly took his boxers off and she stared at the stiff cock in front of her. It’s been a while since they had sex so this was kind of nerve-wracking but she wouldn’t want it any other way. He brought his head and playfully smacked her clit as she let out a struggled moan, “Sen-Sensitive.” 

“Is my wife sensitive? Is it because she gave birth to our son? What a good mom.”

Y/N moaned at this and turned her head away in embarrassment, “D-Don’t say things like that.” 

Jin let out a small chuckle and aligned his head to her entrance, “I don’t mean to tease you baby but I just missed you so much.”

“I miss- OH Jin!” He thrusted slowly into her and there was a small burn when she felt him stretch her out. She whimpered out when she remembered how big he was and closed her eyes from the pain. He cursed under his breath and leaned forward, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose, “Are you okay?”

“Just give me a moment.”

“Anything for you.” 

He kissed her and she returned the kiss with the same amount of passion. She clenched around him and he glanced down and then back at her, “Do you want me to move?” 

“Yes...please.” 

He pulled out of her and saw just how wet she was for him. He let out a small groan and he slid back in, slowly. Her legs tightened around his waist as she covered her mouth, “F-Fuck.” 

Jin watched her breast move with each thrust and he never realized how big they got because of Jun. He didn’t want to look like a pervert but fuck his wife looked so hot in her mom body. He leaned forward and swallowed her loud moans, “I missed this. I missed you.” He folded her body in half with his hands resting on her knees as he moved faster, “J-Jin!” 

“So fucking good.” He closed his eyes and then he opened them. He placed a kiss on calf and smirked at her, “I bet you didn’t touch yourself while I was gone.” 

“N-NO...”

“Too busy taking care of Jun. What a good mommy.” 

“Don’t call-call me that.” 

His fingers reached down and started to rub fast circles at her clit. A loud gasp left her lips and he couldn’t help but smirk, “Why does it turn you on more?” 

“N-No-”

“Come on my cock! I can feel it, come all over me!” 

She gripped his arms with her nails etching into his solid arms. He missed this, the closeness of each other. He could never be away from her. Never again. She closed her eyes and he felt the wetness increased. He groaned at the feeling and he couldn’t help but feel pride through his body. He felt her pleasure down his knees and cursed under his breath, “Fuck, I’m coming, baby.” 

His cock harshly throbs within her and she feels his body trembling. He falls on top of her as she wraps her arms around his body. He kissed her shoulder and smiled to herself, “I love you so much.”

She let out a small laugh and kissed the top of his head, “I love you more.”

A small cry erupted on the baby monitor and Y/N let out a small laugh, “I think we woke up Jun.”

“I think you woke him up.” 

“Shut up.” He kissed the side of her head again and slowly removed himself. She let out a small moan when she felt his come slip out. She tilted her head at him and gave him a confused look, “Where are you going?” 

“I’ll get our son. I need to make up time and then when I come back, I’ll clean you up.” 

She nodded her head and she moved her body into the pillows, “Hurry up, I'll miss you. Oh and Jin.”

“Yeah?”

“Welcome home.”

[wishesunderthestars]

The King's Advisor // Ch. 1

Pairings: King!Yoongi x Advisor!reader

Summary: The king's advisor is the most crucial position in the kingdom, the king trusts her judgment and always listens to her opinions and advice. They are a formidable pair but behind closed doors, the king and his advisor bicker and throw back-handed insults at each other more often than not. The feelings of dislike are very much mutual. She is a champion at testing the King’s patience because she knows she is too valuable to his rule to face repercussions. So it’s bickering and sarcasm dripping from their lips–

Until war breaks out.

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 5.6k+

Warnings: war, injuries

“Well, that was stupid,” you said, leaning back on the chair and crossing your legs.

Yoongi, who had just closed the wooden doors of the council room, turned to look at you with raised eyebrows. The meeting of the King’s Council had just ended and it was just the two of you left inside.

“I beg your pardon?”

You huffed. “That boy isn’t ready to be a captain, he isn’t ready to be a lieutenant even. He doesn’t have the barest idea of how to lead, he can barely fight himself. The fact that his father used to be captain doesn't mean anything.”

“His family is one of the most influential in the kingdom, I couldn’t deny him the position,” Yoongi said. “I don’t want any disputes with them and there would have been a lot if I didn't promote him to his father’s position.”

You leaned your elbows on the long table. “You could have given him a smaller team, told him you would promote him to a larger one when he was ready. Would you trust him to lead a hundred men into a battle? Or defend a city? Because I wouldn’t.”

Yoongi stood opposite you. His long blond hair was pulled up into a neat topknot with a gold and black headband securing it in place. “His family wouldn’t be happy with that. They would question whether I trust them and whether they have done enough for the kingdom.”

“I, for one, don’t trust them,” you said. “They have been salivating after the throne for years, looking for higher and higher ranks in the military and positions in your council. If anyone ever tries to overthrow you, it will be them.”

Yoongi put his hands on the table, bending forward. “Don’t you think I know that? That’s why they don’t have a seat on my council and why you are here instead of their eldest son.”

“If their eldest son were in my place, you would already be dead,” you said getting up.

“Watch your tongue.” Yoongi gritted his teeth, a fire burning in his eyes. The day had been hard on him, he had been in meetings since the morning and he had several hours of sword fighting practice as well. It was easier to rile him up when he was tired and you were the only one who wouldn’t pay for it.

You got up and sauntered up to him. “And if I don’t? You know as well as I do that he won’t be a good captain. He isn’t ready for it and he might never be ready for it. His team will be a liability.”

“I know what I’m doing. An incompetent captain is better than a family with connections like a spiderweb planting words against me.”

“If I heard word of that, I would cut off their webs with silver scissors. They aren’t the only ones with connections,” you said. “Things are tense on our northern borders, we shouldn’t be treating military positions lightly.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, up close you could see the reflection of the candles in them. “The-”

A knock on the door interrupted him and you both turned to look. The door opened without any announcements or permission from the King. Namjoon walked inside, his short brown hair combed back, splashes of ink on his white sleeves, and a few papers in his hands. Namjoon was the only person other than you who could barge into the council room like this and face no repercussions.

He took one look at the two of you and closed the door behind him.

“What are you arguing about this time?" he asked. You rolled your eyes and Yoongi scoffed. "Forget it, I don't need to know. We have to go over these papers so get comfortable."

Wordlessly, Yoongi sat down on the chair at the head of the table and the two of you took the ones next to him. Namjoon had missed the meeting because of these papers so they had to be important.

You and Namjoon were the King's most trusted members of the Council. The three of you would often gather late at night or early in the morning to discuss matters of the kingdom and make the difficult decisions.

Namjoon was the son of one of the best warriors the kingdom had ever seen and it had been a surprise when Namjoon hadn't followed in his father's footsteps, choosing books and ink over sword and armor. He had soon become known for his smarts and his eloquent speech—he was the one who went over the King's speeches, putting into words what Yoongi couldn't—and had been easily granted a place in the King's Council. His friendship with the King had a lot of people doubting the decision but soon he proved that he belonged there as much as anyone else. More really.

Unlike Namjoon, you and Yoongi hadn't been friends at any point in your life that you could remember. Maybe when you had been too young to read or write and you were hiding behind your mother's skirts, but not since then. Your father had been the late King's advisor and as his only child, you had been prepared to take his place since you could pick up a pen. He and your mother didn't have any other children and the fact that you were a girl didn't deter them, none of the past King's advisors had been female but your father was determined you would be the first one.

You had spent days and nights over books guided by your father and the best teachers in the kingdom, the same ones teaching the future king. You would see each other occasionally but didn't exchange more than a few words. During your teenage years, your fathers deemed it wise for the two of you to share a few of your lessons, you needed to build trust between you if you were to work together in the future. Instead of friendship, a rivalry brewed. You didn't remember how it started but you couldn't forget how it continued. Exchanging jabs about who was the best at which lessons and who did better at tests. Glaring and provoking each other.

When his father passed on and Yoongi ascended to the throne, it was his time to choose his personal advisor. You had been training for the position all of your life but you were still surprised when he asked you, bearing the gift of a gold bracelet engraved with flowers and embellished with precious stones. The King had to base his decisions on many factors but the most important was trust. Trust to work towards a bright future for the kingdom. Trust to support him through everything.

You didn't ask him why he chose you, you didn't voice any of your questions about trust. For years, you worked together and it was almost like nothing had changed from your teen days.

Half of the candles had gone out by the time you had gone over all of the papers. Your eyes hurt and a headache was brewing behind your temples. Your usual late nights ended earlier than this.

Namjoon gathered the papers with clumsy movements. Yoongi had to catch one before it flew away after Namjoon shoved it off the table.

"I think I may fall asleep if I stay any longer," Namjoon said when all the papers were safely in his arms. You could relate to that. "I would recommend going to sleep now. Have a good night."

You echoed his words and he left. The door closing was the only sound in the dimly lit council room.

You rubbed your eyes and looked at the King. His hair was coming undone and it glinted like threads of gold in the candlelight. His sharp eyes were softer, the way they got at night when his walls weren't as high as the castle's.

"I will be going then," you said, getting up and smoothing down your dress. There was no reason to do it, no one other than the guards would see you at this time. It was more out of force of habit than anything else.

"Wait for a moment," Yoongi said. You stopped before you could move to the door. "The Lee boy will be trained under Hoseok. He will be answering to him and if anything goes wrong I trust Hoseok to make it right. I wouldn't jeopardize the safety of the kingdom."

"It still doesn't sit right with me," you said. You knew that Yoongi had the best interests of the kingdom in mind but that didn't mean you always agreed. More often than not, you didn't. "But that's enough for tonight. It's late and frankly, I'm too exhausted to debate about the Lees. We can talk more about this tomorrow."

Yoongi opened his mouth and closed it again. "Don't forget a lamp. Unless you want to walk in the dark."

"Of course," you muttered, annoyed that Yoongi had to remind you. The torches in the hallways would have gone out a long time ago. "I would have remembered to take one."

"I don't doubt it," Yoongi said,  smirking. Ignoring him, you picked up an oil lamp from the top of a large chest and tilted it close to one of the lit candles to share the flame. "Goodnight then."

"Goodnight, my king."

You saw his eyebrows twitch before leaving the room. He wasn't fond of his friends using his title to address him. You wouldn't exactly put yourself in that category but you didn't use his title when it was the two of you, you didn't use it in the council either. You would throw it out there occasionally just to see his reaction.

The guards were standing at attention on either side of the door, their hands on their long swords. They stared ahead as you walked down the empty corridor.

A few days later, you strolled into the private training grounds. It was a wide space surrounded by trees, right next to the gardens accessible only to the royal family. You were one of the few exceptions.

The continuous sound of metal clashing on metal rang in the otherwise silent place. The swords glinted and glimmered, reflecting the light of the midday sun. Yoongi and Hoseok were sparring, their movements so quick they were but a blur.

Yoongi's hair was pulled up in a tight knot and sweat was running down his face and his sculpted chest. His shirt was thrown aside, too much of a nuisance after what looked like several hours of practice. You had to swallow to ease the dryness in your throat.

You watched them—transfixed by their deadly dance—until the King's eyes locked with yours.  Others would have cowered at the power in his gaze but you held it steadily like you had done all your life. One second of distraction and Hoseok's sword touched his pale neck, a whisper away from drawing blood.

"And I win," Hoseok said. He turned around, his eyes falling on you, and he smiled as if he understood a joke. "I see. I guess I owe this one to you."

You grinned and walked closer to them. "I'm not sure about that. I think you would have won either way."

"You should join us more often then," Hoseok said.

It was a view you both dreaded and craved to get used to. You didn't make a habit of visiting the training grounds, the King's private ones, or the much larger common ones. The art of battle wasn't one you had delved into. Your father had taught you the basics of protecting yourself but your interest had stopped there. And although watching shirtless men training, wielding swords and bows, and sweating was appealing in theory, you found that the reality wasn't as satisfying.

That's what you reminded yourself and the heat swirling in your stomach.

"How much longer will you be in our company?" you asked Hoseok.

The situation in the North wasn't getting better. Soldiers from the neighboring kingdom had been breaching the borders for months, engaging in small-scale conflicts with your forces stationed there. This was clear as day provocation but you didn't want to go into war.

Hoseok would go along with his team to survey the state of affairs and send a report back.

"The day after tomorrow," he said, sheathing his sword. "It isn't a short trip and it would be for the best to arrive as soon as it is possible." He looked at you and Yoongi, who had turned away. "I will be leaving then. Go easy on him. He's tired," he told you. Yoongi shook his head in disbelief. "I hope we have a chance to catch up before I leave."

"I can always find some time for you," you said.

Hoseok's smile widened before bidding you goodbye and walking away, leaving you and Yoongi alone.

Yoongi gulped down the contents of his leather waterskin, his Adam's apple bobbing, shiny with sweat. "What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed?"

"That is not what I said." He put away his sword in its jeweled case and left it on a stone bench. "If you are here that means you were looking for me for something."

You didn't deny it, although it wasn't the complete truth either. There were plenty of matters pending to be discussed and there were about ten things you weren't seeing eye-to-eye and you had to reach an agreement on. Nothing new. But the reason you were there was none of those things.

You had gone on a walk to clear your head after a morning of socializing with some of the most important people in the kingdom and your feet had carried you to the royal gardens before you realized where you were going. Finding Yoongi and Hoseok wasn't your intention. But you weren't about to say that.

Yoongi crossed his arms and looked at you, awaiting an answer. Your eyes strayed to his bare arms and chest and you scolded yourself and pulled them back up in what you hoped was a subtle manner.

"Are you going to stay like this?" you asked.

Yoongi gazed down at himself and what could have been a smirk played at the edges of his lips. "Why? Is it bothering you? Have you not seen a man's body before?"

"Are you a child?" He knew very well the answer to that question. Hell, it wasn't the first time you were seeing him half-naked. That was one of the perks—or cons, depending on your viewpoint—of your job. "For a king, you forget about decency an awful lot."

"When have you cared about decency?"

He picked up his white shirt that had been carelessly thrown on the bench and wiped the sweat off his face and neck with it. You had to look away.

"Where have you been all day? You weren't in your office and you didn't attend tea."

"Were you disappointed?"

"On the contrary," you said sharply. "I was only wondering if you were alive."

He extended his arms to the sides. "As you can see I am very much alive. Sorry to disappoint. I was here."

"All morning?" you asked, not convinced.

The royal gardens weren't a place Yoongi visited often. You were more likely to find Namjoon here observing nature with a book in one hand. Yoongi hadn't displayed any fondness for the place other than the privacy it could offer but his rooms could offer the same privacy and he preferred them.

"I'm the King, can I not take a morning to myself?"

"It's because you're the King that you can't," you shot back. "Did you sign those papers I gave you?"

"I did."

"Did you read them or did you sign them blindly?"

"I read them." Yoongi walked to you until your faces were inches apart. "I read every single one of them. I don't do things halfway. Is that all?"

You raised your eyebrows. "Do you perhaps want more work? I can arrange for something. There is always more work to be done."

Yoongi scoffed and backed away. "You're impossible."

"Thank you, I try," you said. Your mood sobered as you remembered what had been swirling in your head for the past week. "A letter arrived ahead of the envoy from Harfush, they will be here in three days."

Yoongi's demeanor changed, his shoulders tensing. "We will be ready when they arrive. We have prepared for everything."

"Almost everything," you pointed out. "They are set on this. I know it. They have been pushing for months now and it has only been getting worse. This isn’t going to end with a talk with an envoy. They’re hoping to get land from us in exchange for stopping their attacks but that is only prolonging the inevitable.”

His eyes hardened. “If it comes to it then so be it. We are not giving them anything. We will fight and they will regret bringing the war to us.”

“I will hold you to that.”

The envoy arrived and you were proven right. They were after your northern lands, a large stretch of the kingdom. Yoongi told them in the most political way to go fuck themselves, which—to no one’s surprise—the delegation wasn’t pleased with. They left two days later with thinly-veiled threats of war.

Your kingdom hadn't seen war since the days Yoongi's great-grandfather was king. Peace was a fragile thing but Yoongi's father and grandfather had protected it like the most precious jewel in the realm despite the aggressions of their neighbors. But it had never got that bad. Petty thievery here and there, a few arrogant nobles that dreamed of war. The carefully balanced scales had tragically tipped during Yoongi's reign.

The turning had found you prepared. Your soldiers were many and had trained tirelessly with the cloud of war hanging above them.  Your numbers were fewer than the enemy’s but you had something they didn't. Fire. Pyres burning in your souls, stronger than forest fires. That was the gift of the people of Tinigris, the nation of the Tiger.

And so it was only a matter of time.

“What are you still doing here?”

Yoongi was standing over the large map of the continent. On it, figures like chess pieces were carefully arranged, depicting the bigger picture of the stationed troops—your own and the enemy’s.

Yoongi looked up at you, the light casting deep shadows on his face. His hair was falling in his eyes and underneath, dark half-moons were inked in his porcelain skin. "What does it look like?"

"Like you are exhausting yourself going over matters we have already discussed to great lengths when you should be resting."

Yoongi's eyes flashed with something unreadable in the flame of the candles. "The drums of war are at our doorstep, minutes away from spreading like an infection in our land. It is not the time for resting."

"If you want to be dead on your feet tomorrow when we will actually discuss strategy and diplomacy then by all means, it is not the time for resting. If you want to be able to participate in the conversation, I would advise you to go to sleep now."

His hands twitched on the table. "I am not the only one awake, am I?"

The truth was that you had laid in your bed, closed your eyes but sleep refused to come to you. You had tried and failed. Your room was too dark and restricting and you were too restless. You had dressed in a simple black velvet dress with a low neckline, which some of the older nobles would consider scandalous, threw a silky shawl over your shoulders that did nothing to keep you warm, and wandered into the long shadowed hallways.

You couldn't tell him any of that so instead you said, "No, you are not the only one."

The majority of the little soldiers were placed along the borders. Hoseok had sent back a letter confirming what you already knew. There was a war brewing in the North and there was no stopping it. You couldn't run away from the storm, you could only walk into it prepared.

Yoongi's hair wasn't done up in its usual style but he must have carelessly pulled it up himself. Several strands were framing his face and he wasn't wearing his headband. In the quiet madness of the night, he seemed almost vulnerable.

"Why do you speak to me about sleep when you are as awake as I am?" he asked.

"Because at least one of us should sleep," you said. "It will be a long day tomorrow and days will only get longer from here."

His gaze went back to the pieces on the board. "I know that if I go to my chambers, I will find no more peace than you did." The shadows seemed to grow longer on his face. "We have avoided war for years. All of our attempts have been in vain. I'm sending my people into a bloodbath."

"If there was anything more we could do, you know very well we would have done it," you said. "Your people know you don't want this war. We can't stand here while they attack our lands. If we don't fight back, they will raid the villages close to the borders. It will only get worse. Kill, take slaves, do unspeakable things. Blood will be spilled either way. The North is thirsty for it. Better for our people to die defending their homes than be slaughtered with their families at night, unaware."

Yoongi's jaw clenched. In his eyes, you saw the fire and you saw the tiger. "I won't let them. I will fight for them until my last breath. If the North wants blood they will have it. It will overflow."

Yoongi glowed brighter than any flame in the room. Fierce and alluring in the way a sword is, tempting you to cut your finger on the blade to test how sharp it is.

"I won't offer empty words, to you I never have," you said. "It will be hard and we can't know how long it will last. There will be death and there will be wounds that won't heal. But we won't back down. We are the descendants of fighters, of warriors of great deeds. We prospered in peace and we will thrive in war. We will hold the borders, we will hold them back. And I believe we will emerge victorious."

Yoongi reached for something behind him and upon placing them on the table, you realized they were two glasses and a bottle of wine. He poured a generous amount into each and extended one to you.

"Let's drink to that," he said.

"To victories," you said and your glasses clinked.

Everything moved on faster from them, a river getting more and more narrow and running faster and faster. Strategies—political and military—, estimations, gathering the troops, reaching out to allies, making plans. You weren't a great warrior but you had studied battle strategies for years and you viewed battlefields as chess boards. You were great at chess.

Nobles, soldiers, townsfolk, and villagers alike were talking about the war in hushed whispers. Everyone knew it was approaching, a black galloping horse, neighing and squealing. Letters were being exchanged swiftly with the troops on the northern borders, keeping you informed about the moves of the enemy. When war was officially declared, you had to be ready.

Tensions rose in the palace as they did between the two kingdoms. You could barely sleep. When you closed your eyes, you saw images of a red sky, swinging swords, disembodied limbs, and unseeing eyes. You saw destroyed villages and burned houses. They haunted even your dreams. Most nights, you spent in the council room with Yoongi, both of you restless. Sometimes you discussed strategies, sometimes you were quiet in each other's company, other times you fought the way you often did. Upon returning to your rooms, you were able to steal a few hours of sleep.

Time was but an illusion to you. Days blended into each other yet you were intensely aware of each one passing. You drowned in meetings with the council, late nights with the King, and dealing with the noble families—an art you had once upon a time mastered but was slipping through your fingers.

Tensions were rising in the palace. Yoongi was on edge, running from meeting to meeting until he was bound to burn out. Your patience was running thin.

And the King, most of all, was testing it.

"You can't ride at the front in the battle," you said, repeating yourself for what felt like the thousandth time. You were in his office with Namjoon, debating his stupid ideas. "If you are killed, the war is over. Who will be left to lead the soldiers? You have no heir, no brothers or sisters, no one to continue the line."

"Who will lead them then?" Yoongi asked ferociously. "Who will they follow if not their king? Hoseok will be by my side. We will protect each other."

You gripped the glass of wine tighter. You wanted to get up and pace but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "This isn't training. This is a real war, protecting each other won't guarantee that either of you are safe. You will be the main target the moment you step into the battlefield. Do you expect the king of Harfush to charge first into battle? To fight at all?"

"I'm nothing like him!" Yoongi said sharply. "I will not hide behind my soldiers while they fight my kingdom's battles! I refuse to cower in the camp like a coward."

"I'm not asking you to," you said, trying to keep your voice from rising. "I'm asking you not to run first into the battle and become an easy target. Do you know how easy it will be for them to shoot you with arrows?"

"She is right, you know," Namjoon said. He was sitting on the other chair in front of Yoongi's large wooden desk, bent over a few papers. What he was writing, you had no idea. Yoongi narrowed his eyes in betrayal. "You want to lead the charge, I understand that, it's the honorable thing to do but they aren't honorable. If you are dead, our people won't know who to follow. There will be chaos and Harfush will take advantage of that."

Yoongi got to his feet, it sounded like an earthquake. "What would you have me do then? I will fight! You can't hold me back from fighting for my kingdom!"

Silent words passed between you and Namjoon. Neither of you liked the idea but it was true that you couldn't stop Yoongi from fighting. You would have to tie him up to keep him in the camp.

You sipped on the wine, an action that seemed to only agitate Yoongi further. "You will fight. But not in the front lines and you won't have only Hoseok with you but your personal guard as well. The ones who are willing to lose their lives to save yours."

"Is that it?" Yoongi asked, something animalistic in his expression. It was coming closer to the surface the past few weeks, clawing and snarling. "Are you making all the decisions for the war? Deciding what is best for MY people?"

Namjoon paused his writing. "We are not making any decisions for you. We only want you to see reason. We are here to advice and guide you, not force your hand."

You held back a huff. "Riding first into battle is suicide. And who will lead YOUR people then? When you are no longer here to do it."

"Why don't you lead them since you seem to believe you can do it so much better?" he snarled. His hand struck the desk with a loud thump, papers, candles and glasses clattering. Namjoon steadied the ink bottle before it could spill and paint the room blue. You held yourself back from flinching.

The world stood still for a moment like it was holding its breath. Yoongi's lips parted. Quickly he pulled back his hand and looked away.

"I'm sorry," he said, gritting his teeth. "I let my temper get the best of me."

Your heartbeat was rising but you kept your voice steady. "I have no desire to lead, only to advise you. I can do nothing more. It isn't only your life on the line. It's the kingdom. Your life is more important than honor or your desire to prove you are a good king."

His jaw clenched. "I will think about it." A dismissal of the conversation. Namjoon went back to his papers and you rested back on the chair, your fingers drumming the tune of war on the arms.

The days grew smaller and the nights longer. Your blood was either freezing or burning. The songs in the court were lifeless, a front no one was believing anymore. Fewer people were good enough pretenders to sing and dance. Wine tasted dull on your tongue. Underneath everything, you were scheming.

War. It had turned from a whisper into a chant. It was the cold breath on your neck in the middle of the night, chilling you to the bone. But you were ready for it. As ready as someone could be for the cruelty humanity had created.

It didn't start with fire or a war cry. It started with a letter. A declaration of war sealed with the royal seal of Harfush.

The night before the King's departure, you and Yoongi met in the council room.

"You are not coming to the front," Yoongi said, thunder flashing in his face. "You are to stay here and rule in my stead. There is no place for you on the battlefield."

You stood your ground, you were used to Yoongi's dangerous looks that would have made anyone else cower. The candles burned around the council room like pyres in the night.

"I am no ruler," you said. "I am the King's advisor and I should be where the king is. Be it the Castle or the battlefield. I will go where you go."

Yoongi clenched his fists. "You are not coming to the front and that's the end. I need you here to take care of the kingdom while I'm gone."

"Namjoon is more than capable of taking care of the kingdom, the council listens to him more than they listen to me." Many in the council believed you were too young and too inexperienced to be the King's advisor. No one would say it in front of Yoongi but amongst themselves they whispered that he had chosen wrong. "You need me there," you continued. "I have studied battles all my life, I am one of the best war strategies you have. It would be foolish not to take advantage of that."

"I have studied battles all my life too and I will have my generals with me. Your place is here in the castle and that is where you will stay."

Anger licked your insides with tongues of fire. "Are you ordering me?" When he stayed silent, you went on. "Do you seriously believe they need me more here than on the front where our fate will be decided? You have always been the better fighter, I was never good at that, but when it comes to strategy, I was better and you know it. Let me be there for you, let me do what I'm meant to do. What is a King's Advisor without a king?"

"Don't." The power was gone from his voice, his head bent. "Stay here. The kingdom needs you."

"The kingdom needs to win and they need you. And I shall be by your side,” you said, not leaving him any chance to contradict you. “I won’t go into the battle, obviously. I will stay at the camp which will be protected and if they reach the camp, that means the war is over. It wouldn’t make a difference if I were there or in the castle. I would be doomed either way.”

“If we lose,” he said through gritted teeth as if it pained him to think about it. “You can escape the castle, go to another country, take Namjoon with you and start anew.”

You were fuming. “Would you run away if you had the chance? Would you escape if you were in my place? Take the coward’s way out?” He looked away. “I am not going anywhere.” Concealed in a pocket of your dress, you pulled out a blade as long as your hand and threw it on the table. “I would rather slit my neck with this blade than run away. I either do this here or at the camp. You choose.”

Yoongi stared at the blade. He was as tense as a tightrope. Watching him was like watching a forest fire. Until something crumbled or it could have been the tremble of the flames surrounding you. He drew back, pulling his eyes away.

“Don’t do it,” he muttered at last. “Stay here.”

“I can’t.”

“Do as you please then.”

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing

[redrose10]

Read your post about us requesting BTS stories annnnnd i´ve had this idea since forever so maybe you can make it come to life?

Also, wanted to say i found your account some time back and i absolutely LOVE your conten. Its so, so good honestly. I´m so happy one random day you popped in my titmeline.

So here it goes, sorry if its too much, of course you can always skip parts or change it if you feel like it. Since Christmas and New Year are around the corner i think it would fit.

So Namjoon, Jin´s bestfriend both majorying in some nerdy career. Happens to one night take a light liking in you after almost 7 years knowing you, seeing you as Jin´s little sister. Where it gets tricky is that... both Jin and her have abandoment issues and he is SO OVER PROTECTIVE or her it borders toxic but its just trauma response (like the background is so angsty, idk father used to be an abuser, mom never taking care of them, leaving money and dissapearing for days, cursing them out for existing like Seokjin with just 13 learned how to cook do laundry and braid her sister´s hair every night? etcetc) So both Jin and her only trusted each other, that´s until they both found angels as friends few years ago. So one night, escaping from Seokjin, Jimin, her bff convinces her of sneaking to a frat party or something and- wait- What time is it? Her head hurts... And why is she grinding hips at the beat of the music and making out in a frat room with, tall, big thighs, glasses, dimple smiled and clearly drunk... K-Kim Namjoon?!

Like i want HEALING, i want development ...what if Namjoon is head over heels because he starts seeing her as a woman for the first time after that and he absolutely loves eveything about her? He tries but he just cant stop his heart from doing cartwheels everytime he sees her. Like, he KNOWS her. How was he so blind before? What if she´s too scared but after hundreds of flirting and tries from him,.. how can she not fall for him? So they give it a try...While, hiding from Jin? What if there´s a toxic ex she cant get rid of that left her even more scared of relationships. IDK you can twist it as you like of course! xx

First, I am so sorry this is so late and it’s way past the Holidays. Things have been crazy and I don’t have as much free time as I used to.

Second, This kind of strayed away from the request a bit. I’m really sorry, but I hope you still like it!

Third, Thank you so much for you kind words! I love hearing that.

******************************************************

College Student Namjoon x Jin’s Little Sister Reader

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Slightly Suggestive, Alcoholism, Drug Use, Non-Consensual Activities, Drinking, Money being accepted for sex, Yoongi and Jungkook are pretty terrible (it’s just for the story. I don’t think they’d really be like this in real life.)

“Hey so uh you busy next Saturday?”

You looked the guy in front of you over several times. You heard his name was Yoongi. He appeared to be your typical college fuckboy. Definitely older. Had more money than the average college student. He claimed to be a rapper, going by the name Suga, but you knew most of his money probably came from dealing. You knew what he wanted and you also knew you’d never hear from him again once he got it. The thing is that even knowing all of that information you were still interested.

“Why what do you have pla-“

“She’s busy!”, a familiar voice declared before grabbing your arm. As you were being drug away by your older brother you turned to get one last look at Yoongi who was staring at you dumbfounded before shrugging his shoulders and walking back into the party to find a new plan.

“What are you thinking talking to guys like that?”, Jin scolded once you were far enough away, “He’s just going to use you.”

“So what?! I’m an adult and I can consent to it if I want to.”, you said crossing your arms. So far your college experience had been a lot of sneaking around trying to do things without your overprotective brother breathing down your neck. You knew he meant well and only wanted the best for you, but it was still frustrating.

“Come on. Let’s grab some dinner. My treat.”, he said opening the door for you.

“Namjoon.”, you smiled before taking a seat across from him at the table. Of course he would be there. Him and your brother had pretty much been inseparable since high school which was both good and bad for the huge crush you harbored on him.

“Y/N.”, he nodded, “You know Jin is right by the way. You really should stay away from guys like Yoongi. You deserve much better than that.”

Your heart skipped a beat hearing him say that, but you quickly came back to reality when he followed it up with, “You’re my best friends little sister and I’d hate to see you get hurt like that.”

“Thanks.”, you mumbled before burying your face into the menu. You were never going to be more to him than the annoying little girl in pigtails who use to tag along with them everywhere they went.

“Are you two seriously studying on a Saturday night?”, you giggled after finding Jin and Namjoon surrounded by papers and books at the kitchen table.

“Hey Astrophysics is like really really hard.”, Jin whined.

“Yeah that’s why I’m a dance major.”, their other friend Hobi spoke from behind the counter where he was biting into a pizza slice.

“Okay well I’ll be out late so don’t wait up.”, you said trying to quickly make it to the door.

“Whoa whoa whoa where do you think you’re going?”, Jin questioned.

“I have a date.”, you mumbled knowing you were about to have a fight.

“A date? With who? And where? It better not be Yoongi.”, he said walking over to get closer to you.

“It’s not Yoongi. It’s just uh…It’s just some guy I met.”, you whispered, “I’m meeting him at the restaurant.”

“No way! I don’t like that. I’ll take you there so I can see this guy for myself.”, Jin said already looking for his coat.

“I’m an adult Jin. I don’t need you babysitting me all the time.”, you spat.

“I don’t care if you’re an adult. You’re still my little sister.”, he said sternly, “Namjoon help me out here.”

Namjoon was a little taken back after being pulled into the conversation, but he composed himself, “I mean…I think it’s a good thing for him to check it out and make sure this guy doesn’t seem like he’s up to something.”

You sighed, but stormed out of the apartment knowing that Jin was close behind.

“See.”, you hissed while pointing through the large window of the restaurant, “His name is Taehyung. He’s a biology major. He works part time at the campus coffee shop even though he hates coffee. He likes theater and the color red. Good enough?”

Jin side eyed you, “Call me immediately if he tries anything.”

You rolled your eyes and entered into the restaurant towards Taehyung whom you did know from being partnered together in your intro to biology class. Thankfully he was a talker so you knew a lot about him and by some miracle he also happened to be at the same restaurant. Because once you were sure that Jin had walked away you turned and walked towards your actual date.

Yoongi was sitting in the back corner. He greeted you with a smile and got up to pull out your chair and help you get seated, a nice gesture you weren’t expecting from him.

You liked him, maybe even a little more than you had planned but you couldn’t help yourself. He was handsome and charismatic. He knew just what to say. He also had this “he can be fixed” aura about him. You always seemed to go for the guys with the most traumatic or saddest backstories, probably a product of your upbringing thanks to your severely alcoholic father whom you grew up trying to take care of before he passed away.

“Earth to Y/N.”, Yoongi chuckled, “Did you wanna meet up at The Winter Fest next Saturday?”

You were stunned by his request. A second date with THE Min Yoongi was unheard of.

“Yeah sounds great.”, you managed to speak still in shock.

“Cool, I can’t wait.”, he smirked.

“NO absolutely not!!”, Jin slammed his hand down on the table, “You are not going to The Winter Fest. It’s just an excuse for too many people to shove themselves into a house and get blackout drunk and have sex. You are not going!” He was actually angry. You knew he wasn’t going to be happy when he found out, but you didn’t expect this level of aggression.

“Why do you treat me like I’m still a child? You’re not my father!”, you shouted back instantly feeling guilty when you saw his face fall.

“Fine Y/N. Do what you want, but I cant promise I’ll be there to save you.”

“Jinnie.”, you said reaching for his hand but he pulled away.

“I may not be your father, but I had to step up at a young age to raise you, to protect you. I practically gave up my youth to take care of you and for the longest time you were all I had. I’m sorry that I’m overprotective of you. I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”, he said before walking off to his room.

“He has a point.”

“Not now Namjoon.”, you pouted but he continued anyways, “He just wants what is best for you. I know he comes off strong and like he’s just trying to ruin things for you, but he means well. Especially about this Winter Fest thing. Nothing good ever happens there. The school has been trying to get it banned for years. I’d have to agree with him on this one and you should skip it.”

“Why so I could be the one person on campus who doesn’t go to it? Be deemed a social outcast?”

“Why do you want to go so bad?”, he inquired, “Do you really think Yoongi has good intentions by asking you there?”

You looked at him with wide eyes, “H-How did you know that?”

Namjoon started packing up his belongings. “Let’s just say your brother isn’t the only one that worries about you.”, he mumbled before seeing himself out of your apartment.

“Wait so Jin is out of town which means you can freely go to Winter Fest?”, your best friend Jimin asked.

“Yep, I guess I got lucky. He said something about going to some astrophysics conference somewhere. I don’t know. It sounded boring.”

“Wow I thought for sure he’d lock you in a tower somewhere and throw away the key.”

You both laughed at the thought of that.

“And Namjoon?”, he questioned a few minutes later.

“What about him?”

“Well…I mean he’s kind of like your other protector. He’s always got his eye on you and stuff. He’s just not as obnoxious about it as your brother is. I think he might kind of have a thing for you. He gets like weirdly jealous some times.”

You scoffed to yourself, “He thinks I’m just some dumb little girl who can’t take care of myself. That’s all. And I don’t know where he is tonight and I don’t really care because I have a date with Yoongi to get ready for.”

The music was loud, almost excruciatingly loud. The floors were sticky and covered in what you were hoping was just spilled liquor. All you cared about was finding Yoongi which was a lot harder than anticipated thanks to strobe lights and hundreds of other people packed into this house shoving each other around.

You were making your way to the back when someone grabbed your waist startling you and making you scream.

“Calm down baby doll. It’s just me.”, Yoongi whispered in your ear.

“Sorry you scared me.”, you giggled and wrapped your hands around his arm.

“Don’t worry. I wont let anything bad happen to you.”, he grinned while leading you into the kitchen to get a drink.

It happened fast, but one drink turned into three and next thing you knew your hands were running through Yoongi’s hair as he pushed you up the stairs while his tongue wrestled with yours for dominance.

Somehow you managed to find an unoccupied bedroom in which Yoongi pushed you down onto the bed.

“Are you sure about this baby doll?”, he asked. The nickname making your heart beat a little bit faster.

You nodded and pulled him down on top of you.

“H-Hold on. I’ll be right back.”, he said leaning away. “Need condoms.”, he laughed when he noticed your confused expression before leaving the room.

You laid on the bed adjusting your skirt and unbuttoning your top a little more when the door swung open and then quickly slammed shut. You expected Yoongi or even another eager couple, but you never expected to see Namjoon standing in the center of the room. When you saw him glancing at your exposed cleavage and hiked up skirt you quickly adjusted yourself feeling your cheeks heat up.

“Namjoon what are you doing here? Please leave.”

He shook his head, “You need to come with me. Please Y/N. You don’t want to be here.”

“No I’m sure I do want to be here because that’s why I’m here so please leave before Yoongi gets back.”

“Y/N listen to me?”

“No Namjoon. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you guys being overbearing. I’m sick of you treating me like a little kid. I’m an adult and can make adult decisions on my own.”

He nodded, “Fine.”, and walked out slamming the door behind him.

The door opened once again. This time revealing Yoongi. But also someone else. A someone else that made your legs shake and your stomach nauseous.

“J-Ju-Jungkook?”, you whispered.

“See I told you man.”, Yoongi said patting Jungkook on the back, “I’ve got her prepped and everything. She’s all yours.”

You watched as Jungkook handed Yoongi a wad of cash.

“I…I don’t understand.”, you said, “You’re like a pimp or something?”

“Oh God no.”, Yoongi laughed, “I’m just a good business man. The first time… I was genuinely interested in hooking up with you, but after our little run in with your brother I didn’t think you would be worth the trouble. But fuck you’re gorgeous and I couldn’t get you out of my mind so I gave you another chance. Then I saw your crazy brother follow you to the restaurant and knew I was done with this mess. When you got up to go to the bathroom I was just gonna pay the bill and leave you there, but then Jungkook here came over to the table and asked for a favor. He said he knew you and wanted to get with you so I said for the right price I’d make it happen. And here we are!”

You were appalled by him. An arrogant fuckboy is one thing, but accepting money to trick you into hooking up with someone else, especially Jungkook was another. You wanted to give him an ear full, but he was already in the hallway letting the door slam behind him.

You tried to chase after him, but Jungkook put his arm out to stop you, “I don’t think so Y/N. I paid for this and I’m not leaving without it.”

“Leave me alone Jungkook. I wouldn’t fuck you back when we were dating and I won’t do it now so let it go.”, you said trying to shove past him but he was much bigger and stronger and threw you down onto the bed with ease, “We will see about that.”

You wanted to fight back, but all of the horrible memories of your past came flooding back making you freeze in fear. Your addict of mother letting random men into the house at all hours of the night and you screaming in terror begging for them to stop. Jin always bursting through the door not caring what happened to him as long as he got you safe. He’d always wrap you in his arms and tell you everything was going to be okay and you would give anything to have him here right now so you could apologize and tell him he was right about all of it.

“Y/N are you okay?”

“Y/N?”

Cautiously you opened your eyes to see Namjoon staring at you. The bedroom door had been nearly busted off its hinges and Jungkook was rolling around on the ground with blood pouring from his nose and mouth.

“Joonie.”, you sobbed as he picked you up and pulled you onto his lap.

“Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”, he asked.

“N-No”, you shook your head, “I just want to go home.”

“Okay. Let’s get you home.”, he said carrying you out of the party.

The snow had really picked up outside and you were freezing. You were a little embarrassed. Also still a little scared and shaken up.

So when Namjoon came in your room to bring you some hot tea and a snack you couldn’t help but break down all over again.

“I…I think, maybe I should call Jin.”, he said trying to walk away, but you grabbed onto his hand and stopped him, “No please stay here with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay. I’m here.”, he whispered before gingerly getting into your bed with you trying not to cause too much of a disturbance.

“How did you know what they were up to?”, you asked after a while of silence and watching the snow fall.

“Well…Yoongi and Jungkook aren’t exactly the smartest so they were running their mouths about this whole thing and it eventually got back to me.”

“Oh.”, you said, “Well uh thank you for saving me. I’m sure Jin made you promise to take care of me. Honestly I can’t believe he even left knowing all of this would happen.”

“He doesn’t know.”

“What?!”, you gasped.

Namjoon nodded, “I didn’t tell him. I knew he would loose his mind over it and probably get himself hurt or even worse so I never said anything. I was uh I was actually supposed to be at the conference with him, but I pretended to be sick so I could be here instead.”

“Thank you Joonie. I’m sorry your hand got hurt.”, you said gently rubbing his bruised knuckles.

“Worth it.”, he chuckled, “I’ve wanted to punch Jungkook ever since the first time I saw the two of you together.”

You laughed along with him, “Yeah I apparently have a type and it’s not a good one. I just… I don’t know. I want to find someone who’s a good guy. I can certainly take care of myself, but I want someone that will put Jin’s mind at ease too you know. Like someone he trusts and I can trust. I want him to enjoy his life and stop worrying about me so much. I don’t know if I’ll ever find anyone like that.”

“What about me?”, Namjoon asked after a long bout of silence.

“What about you?”

“Well I mean your brother trusts me and I think you trust me otherwise I wouldn’t be laying in your bed right now.”, he awkwardly looked around, “I also kind of really like you a lot Y/N. I have for a while. I just…I didn’t want to make things weird because you’re my best friends sister and I never wanted to push anything on you. But I can’t keep watching you go out with these dirtbags.”, he said before turning in the bed to face you, “I can take care of you. I can protect you. I’ll always be there for you. Y/N, I can show you what true love looks like, feels like, sounds like. I want to fill all of the voids that you have in your life. I-If you’ll have me that is.”

“You have…You have no idea how long I’ve liked you.”, you whispered now crying tears of happiness, “I know I come with a lot of baggage and I’m not perfect, but I would really really love it if you gave us…gave me a chance.”

“Hey hey don’t cry.”, he said softly wiping away your tears, “You know…some of the most beautiful pieces of art in the world have imperfections in them, but that doesn’t make them valued any less than the others. If anything it makes them even more special.”

“You’re always such a dork.”, you chuckled hoping to lighten the mood a little., “Thank you for always being there for me Namjoon, especially tonight. I don’t know what would’ve happened…”

“Hey don’t think about what did or could’ve happened any more. It’s over. You’re safe here with me.”

You nodded your head against him before resting on his chest allowing the beats of his heart and slow breathing to help lull you off to sleep. You felt warm and comfortable and safe for the first time in a long time.

“Ahhh what the hell?! I leave for two days and you two end up cuddled in bed together.”, Jin groaned after dropping a bag of food on the bedside table, “Eat and get dressed. We’re having a family meeting to set some ground rules before I walk into something I don’t want to see. I need my brain to be in prime condition and not scarred by this nonsense.” Then he stormed out mumbling something about holy water.

Namjoon laughed as he handed you a breakfast sandwich.

“He took that better than I expected.”, you said feeling quite relieved.

“Don’t be too comfortable.”, Namjoon chuckled, “He’s got a whole PowerPoint presentation prepared for this moment.”

Your mouth dropped open, “Seriously?”

“Yep”, he nodded, “It has graphs and special effects and everything. He’s been saving it for when you finally started dating someone he thought was decent enough to stick around.”

“Oh god.”, you whined before falling back onto the bed.

“Hey!”, Jin’s voice came from outside the door, “None of that funny business until we go over the PowerPoint. I discuss it on slide 27.”

You thanked Namjoon after he handed you a sweater to wear and walked into the hallway.

“Just so you know…it has 118 slides.”, he whispered.

“Well…maybe I’ll give you a little reward if you get him to cut it in half.”, you smirked while squeezing his hand thankful and grateful to have him…both of them…by your side.

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

Summary: "I shoudn't be watching a man undressing, specially not from the house next door."

Warning: Very cute Jungkook 🥰, tipsy behaviour, homosexual relationship, deep conversations, the Reader starts to lose their shyness 🥹, kisses, fluff, and a lot of fluff 😻

A/N: Hi, I'm back. This week has been very hard, and I thought coming here would be a way to distance myself from reality 😭 In the last chapter, we saw that Jungkook had a romantic relationship with Namjoon. I received some comments saying they won't read my story anymore and that I ruined it, because of that. I am a very insecure person. This is the first time I'm posting something I've written, and honestly, I don’t know what to think. The boys are very important to me, and I don’t want to offend any of them (or anyone else). If necessary, I will remove everything I’ve written and just move on. Please leave your opinion in the comments. Other than that, thank you very much for the positive messages. I’m very happy to know that a good part of those who are here with me are enjoying it. Thank you so much.

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Chapter 6

My week passed slowly and calmer than I imagined. I worked and studied as always, and fortunately, I passed my semester exams. My mind was always in another dimension, but I held back and did my best not to let Jungkook affect me. Or the thoughts of him, which were insistent and continuous. I didn’t see him anymore, at his mother’s house or anywhere I went. As soon as I got to my room that morning, I received a message from an unknown number, which I knew was him, asking if I was okay and if I was safe. I replied yes and then I didn’t send any more messages, even when he asked what I would do on Wednesday and if I wanted to meet him somewhere.

Unlike last week, feeling embarrassed, I didn’t visit Mrs. Jeon as much as I would have liked, afraid to see Jungkook and be confronted. At times, I wanted to tell her what happened, to vent to someone and express how confused I am, even though she is his mother, but I held back and didn’t say anything, knowing that the torment in my head doesn’t go away because I want him back, with me, and I know that venting in this case doesn’t help at all.

I have always been submissive to my mother and thought of her before anything else. Before myself, it comes her. It has always been this way, as if it were engraved in my brain or I were programmed that way. Jungkook may not understand, but that’s the truth. That’s why I can’t relax around him. I find myself in conflict with what I desire and what I know she would want. I have never disobeyed Eunji, let alone considered that idea. I know she wouldn’t approve of Jungkook, for a million reasons, so I am aware that if I were honest with her and admitted my feelings, there would be a conflict between us that I know I am not prepared to start.

My mother has been stricter with me as the days have passed, and I know it’s because the date of my father’s death is approaching. I try to please her in every way I can, as a way of compensation. I went to church more times than normal, worked at the bazaar, and even cooked so she wouldn’t have to. I don’t like hiding anything from her and I feel guilty in a way for lying that day. Our mother-daughter relationship has been like this my whole life, somewhat cold and strange; since I was a child, I took on her pains and tried to put her needs ahead of mine.

Today was very busy. I helped a classmate with her college exams, since unfortunately, she didn’t do well in the final tests, and I worked twice as hard because those who don’t study, always get desperate in the university library, trying to learn what they didn’t study the entire semester. I had to organize the same books thousands of times and barely had time to eat or go to the bathroom.

I got home dead tired but fulfilled. The college assignments are ready and the tests are done. At least the worries I felt about college are no longer a problem; one less thing to stress about. I grab a romance book to read, and flip through the pages with pleasure, curious to see if the main character will finally confess her feelings. I’m halfway through the chapter, engrossed in continuing, when my phone vibrates. I look at the screen without much attention, accepting the call without knowing who it is.

“Y/N?” I hear a hoarse voice on the other end of the line, and my body instantly tingles. I take the phone from my ear and sit up in bed, flustered. It’s Jungkook

I remain silent, not knowing what to say.

“Y/N? Are you there?” he asks. I consider the possibility of saying nothing, and just letting him think I answered the phone by accident, but I can’t. I want to talk to him; I want to know how he is. I miss him.

“Jungkook, I’m here.” I say; my voice trembling without much strength. I swallow hard, nervous. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” He murmurs. There’s another moment of silence; only his heavy breathing filling the sound of the call.

“That’s good.” I force a smile, even though he can’t see me. I shake my head, grabbing a strand of my hair.

“I wanted... I wanted to see you.” He says softly, in a whisper, and my already agitated heart beats even faster. Butterflies fill my stomach, the way I can’t help it.

“Jungkook, I can’t.”

“You can, and I know you want to.” He asserts, with so much confidence, it’s as if he knows all my thoughts. “I want to be with you. We don’t need to do anything. We can just talk, watch something together. I need to be with someone.”

“Did something happen?” I ask, worried. I bite my lower lip, waiting for his answer.

“Yes... a person. One that I’m trying to get rid of, has been trying to get close. I don’t want that.” He replies. I don’t understand anything he says. Is it a friend? Did he have a falling out with someone?

“We can talk on the phone.” I suggest. For some reason, I feel safer when there’s a big space between us. I think the fact that he’s far from me, gives me the false sense that I’m in control of the situation.

“Are you that afraid of me?” He chuckles. I smile in response, shrugging.

“You said you wanted to talk. We’re talking.”

“How difficult you are.” He sighs, teasing me. “Don’t you miss me at all?”

“Jungkook!” I scold him. I’m breathless just from the question.

“It’s serious. I told you that you needed time to think, but I didn’t imagine you wanted to stay away from me, while you decided.”

“It’s just that everything is very complicated.”

“I feel used.” He jokes again, making me grin. “You used my body and now you don’t even want to look at my face.”

“You’re making me embarrassed.” I grunt, laughing awkwardly. My cheeks turns red with the memories of us in his bed. Him sucking me, fingering me, making me come. My God, it feels like that happened years ago, not just a few days.

“Sorry. I know, I shouldn’t say those things. But I really wanted to see you. Can’t you come here?” he asks, his voice dragging. I furrow my brows, suspicious.

“Did you—Jungkook, have you been drinking?”

“Just a little.” He chuckles on the call. Now everything makes sense. He wouldn’t call me if he were sober. If he were completely sane, he would seek out one of his friends to vent. I sigh, throwing myself onto the bed.

“I’m going to hang up, okay?”

“Wait! Don’t hang up! Why are you doing this? Did I do something?”

“Because you’re drunk.” I finally say, a little upset. Would he want to call me if it weren’t for the alcohol? The doubt makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m not drunk Y/N, I swear. I just drank a little. I’m 100% aware of the things I’m telling you.” Jungkook argues desperately, as if he’s afraid I’ll hang up at any moment. I sigh again, closing my eyes.

“Where are you?” I ask, and almost immediately, regret it. Whether he’s drunk or not, it’s not my problem. Jungkook is an adult and knows very well what he’s doing. He’s not your father, a voice in my head says.

“I’m at my apartment. You know the address. I just didn’t pick you up because I drank; otherwise, I’d already be at your door.”

“Please, don’t do that!” I widen my eyes, just imagining the scene. My father died in a car accident because he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Besides being dangerous, my mother isn’t stupid, and if she realizes I have any involvement with him because he came to pick me up, I’m screwed.

“Then come over. I even bought Mexican food.” He says softly, almost pleading. I roll my eyes and grunt, irritated with myself and with him. Why can’t I resist him? For fuck sake!

“Okay, I’ll try. But we’re just going to talk, watch something, and then I’ll go back. We’re not going to do anything else besides that!” I assure, more to myself, afraid that the same thing will happen as last Sunday.

“Okay. I swear I’ll try to control myself.” He mocks again. I smirk, covering my mouth. I like the normal Jungkook, but him being drunk... it’s like he’s himself, but lighter and funnier.

“Alright, I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

“Send me your location on your phone.” He asks. I mumble in agreement, and then he hangs up. I stare at my ceiling for a good few seconds, not believing it. Why am I doing this? Why am I going to his apartment? Where is this going to lead me?

When I was a little girl, I liked to imagine myself with kids, a husband, and a part-time job. I have always been very romantic; I never wanted to be with someone unless it was forever. At the same time, every time I think of Jungkook, none of that matters. He doesn’t want something serious, from what it seemed when he talked to his friends, and yet I can’t get him out of my head. I do things I would never do, and recklessly, I don’t measure the consequences of my actions. I quickly get out of bed and pace back and forth in my room. My mom is home, maybe in the living room. It’s already nine o’clock on a Friday night, and there’s nothing I can say to her that would convince her to let me go out.

At the same time, I told her an hour ago that I wasn’t going to have dinner and that I would sleep after a shower. She hasn’t been to my room since then. Maybe if I sneak out the window and call a taxi, she won’t even notice I left the house. I bite my lip, nervous. I decide to lock my bedroom door just for safety and simultaneously, put some pillows underneath my blanket, forming the silhouette of what was supposed to be my body. I grin nervously, not knowing what to do. I’ve never run away from home, and the only experience I have consists of teen movies and series. I have no idea if this is really going to work.

I change my clothes for a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt when I realize it’s colder outside, and I open my window. I sneak out with little skill along the balcony, and the bars that accompany the wall, until I reach the grass in my backyard. I tiptoe, trying not to make noise with my sneakers. I walk down my street somewhat breathlessly, pondering the idea of turning back and forgetting that Jungkook even called me. At the same time, I want to see him again. Without thinking too much, I call the taxi, which arrives quickly at my address.

The whole journey takes about ten minutes and simultaneously passes in the blink of an eye. My hands get sweaty as I recognize some places and establishments still open. I sigh, looking at my phone. There are no messages from my mother, only one from Jungkook, saying he’s tracking me via GPS. I smile, feeling a bit more secure. A wave of anxiety, heat, and uncertainty washes over me tough, when I arrive in front of the building of the man who, since I met him, has been haunting my head.

I open the car door and take a moment to look at the facade of the place, something I didn’t have much time to do last time. It’s beautiful, full of flowers and a spectacular garden. I walk along the sidewalk, still not knowing what to do, when I finally see him. Jungkook must have gone down to the lobby without me noticing, and he watches me with a smile on his face, so innocent and anxious that, amidst all this chaos, I’m glad I came. He walks up to me with disheveled and wet hair, perhaps from a recent shower he must have taken, wearing a black and white striped pajama; one of those you only wear in the comfort of your home.

I smile, unable to help it, vulnerable, energized and anxious. “I was worried about you, so I came down.” He comments, getting closer to me.

A scent of perfume, soap, and shaving foam envelops me deeply. My stomach churns again. If I thought hearing his voice made me unstable, seeing him in person completely breaks me. I don’t say a word, still mesmerized by his presence.

“You didn’t pay for the taxi, did you? I came down like a madman when I saw you had arrived.” He tells me. I shake my head in denial. He smiles again and walks over to the driver’s window. He takes the money from his wallet and returns to me as if this were routine and I visited him every day. He smiles one more time, taking steps towards me. “I told you I wasn’t drunk. Tipsy? Yes. Drunk, no.”

“Okay. You’re not. Sorry.” I grin awkwardly, looking down.

“You don’t need to apologize. Come with me; it’s too cold here, and I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He concludes, putting one of his arms around my shoulder, in an intimate touch that brings back memories of the night we were together. I follow him without much questioning, until we reach the elevator.

Inside the metal box, the tension rises. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to stay calm. I don’t need to be nervous. We’re going to talk, whatever it is he wants to say, and then I’ll go back home the same way I left, through my bedroom window. I lean my head against the wall, staring at the mirror that surrounds the elevator walls. The energy of his gaze burns me. He looks at me in a way that leaves me breathless. I swallow hard, not having the courage to reciprocate. It’s as if time has stopped and only we two exist. When I decide to say something, the elevator stops.

He guides me to enter his apartment, and a mountain of memories takes over me immediately. I chuckle in disbelief, covering my face with my hand. If my mother finds out I’m here, I don’t like to think about what could happen. I sit quietly on the couch, observing the place. It all seems the same as last time, except for Jungkook’s friends who filled the environment. Now it’s like there’s too much space, just the two of us here. I lick my dry lips, organizing my hair back, behind my shoulders.

“Are your friends okay?” I ask, trying to talk about things that aren’t about him and me. That for a few minutes, we can pretend that night never happened.

“They are.” He smiles at me, shrugging. “They’re planning a party to celebrate my studio when it’s ready. You’re definitely invited.” He says, sitting next to me. He touches the piercing on his eyebrow with his fingertips, and tosses his dark, soft hair back.

“When’s the celebration party going to be?” I ask, placing my hands on my lap, afraid to touch him. He’s so close that I can fully see the moles around his neck. The Adam’s apple moving every time he talks and swallows.

“I don’t know. There’s still so much to do, but I can’t stay in Busan because I left everything in Seoul to come here. At the same time, I can’t neglect my mom. It’s like I need several versions of myself to handle everything. Just one Jungkook isn’t enough, I think.” He chuckles, but gazing into his big eyes, I find no humor at all. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him to have his mother in this situation and live so far from her. He must be exhausted and worn out.

“When do you plan to go back to Seoul?” I ask, afraid of the answer.

“In about a month and a half, maybe.” He shrugs, biting his lower lip.

“Wow!” I say, surprised. I didn’t expect it to be so soon. He returns my gaze, confused. “I mean, it’s not long until you go back.” I smile, feigning an excitement I don’t feel, awkward.

“Yes, that’s true. I wish I could stop time right now. That would be the best superpower of all.” Jungkook laughs, forming a dimple in his cheek that I had never noticed he had. He rolls his eyes at himself, grunting. “Sorry, every time I drink something, I say these stupid things.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” I chuckle, a little more relaxed. He has this power over me, making me tense and calm at the same time.

“You know, I wanted to ask you something.” He comments, putting his feet on the couch.

“You can ask.”

“Promise you won’t get embarrassed?” He asks, grinning. I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

“I can’t promise that because I don’t know what the question is.”

“Oh, come on!? You always make that face when I talk to you.” He chuckles, teasing me. I shake my head, not understanding.

“What face? What are you talking about?”

“That face. You puff your cheeks because you’re blushing and look away all the time.” He clarifies. My cheeks turn red instantly, making him grin again. I cover my face, embarrassed.

“I can’t control that. Just ask your question, please.” I plead, somewhat awkwardly. He stops grinning and clears his throat, leaving me even more curious.

“I just wanted to know why... why didn’t you answer me that day? Why have you been avoiding me? Why didn’t you go to my mom’s house these days?”

“How do you know I didn’t visit your mom?” I retort, feeling a tingling in my hands, nervous.

“I know because I asked her.” He murmurs, and this time, he’s the one who turns red, as if he didn’t expect my question and feels uncomfortable answering. “After that night, I thought I’d see you again, that we could talk, but you never showed up again.”

“You didn’t show up either.” I defend myself, but I know my stupid argument makes no sense. Jungkook rolls his eyes, looking at me in such a deep way that I find myself breathless, for a good few seconds.

“Seriously Y/N. Did I do something? Did I hurt you in some way?”

“Do you think you did something to me? Is that what you’ve been thinking?”

“I understood it that way, and I’m afraid that it might be true. I don’t want to hurt you, not at all. You’ve helped my mom and have been so good to me. I don’t want to make you feel bad.” He assures again, without stopping. I close my eyes, angry with myself. Is that what I led him to believe when I didn’t respond to his message? When I was cold, did I upset him?

“Jungkook, you didn’t hurt me. Not at all, not in any way. You need to know that.” I affirm in the best way I can, breathless. “I’m like this. That’s why I don’t have friends; that’s why I don’t have people I can count on, because I push everyone away. This is a problem with me, not with you.”

“And why do you do that?” He questions, relaxing his body on the couch. He looks me in the eyes, and even though I try to look away, I can’t. He stare at me in such an intense way that it’s as if he can see my soul. I play with my fingers, not knowing what to do, disconcerted.

“I don’t want to get hurt. Because human relationships are difficult and unstable. Because when you let someone get close, you give them the power to hurt you, and I don’t want that to happen.”

“I know. I understand, and I don’t judge you.” He shakes his head. “So many things have happened in the last few months. I wanted to talk to someone during these days, and incredibly, the only person that came to my mind was you.”

I widen my eyes in surprise. I turn my attention to his face, but he’s distant, staring at something beyond the ceiling of his apartment. It’s as if he’s far away in thoughts and not in this moment, with me. I bite the inside of my cheek, touched. Him thinking of me, even if it’s just to vent, moves me. I like Jungkook. I truly like him, since the first time I saw him. Not just his body or his appearance, but the way he talks to me, as if I were someone worth listening to.

“You, Y/N, did something to me. Since that night, I can’t think of anything else, and I don’t know why.” He confesses, finally returning his face to me. My breathing becomes erratic, my heart races, and my hands get sweaty. “I also, that night, was confused. Just like you.”

“How so?” I ask, speechless.

“I don’t want you to be upset. I want to be honest with you.” He says. He puts one of his big, soft hands close to my face and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. I feel that wherever his touch passes, my skin burns. “Before coming to Busan, I had a serious relationship. Very serious.”

“You were with someone?” I ask, afraid to find out he still has something with that person.

“Yes.” He says softly. His breath close enough of me to feel it. “It was so serious that I swore he would be the person I would marry. I had never dated anyone besides him. I had never fallen in love, not that way.” He speaks, confessing to me, and my throat tightens. Does Jungkook like men? He had a relationship with someone of the same sex? For some reason, I never imagined the inked guy could be attracted to the male gender. Still, what really bothers me is when I hear him say he loved him. Does he still love him? Does he still think about him, when he’s alone?

“And then it ended, and everything I believed was shattered.” He shakes his head, and then chuckles without any humor. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I really don't. It’s just that when I’m with you, I feel light. I love my friends, I truly do, but when I’m with you, I feel comfortable, as if you wouldn’t judge me.”

“I wouldn’t judge you for anything, Jungkook.” I say softly and somehow, he can hear me. He smiles too, a little embarrassed.

“You know, after I ended my relationship and then that happened with my mom, I thought I was in a nightmare. All the people I could count on would simply disappear, and I couldn’t do anything, as if my hands were tied.”

“I know what you mean.” I comment, remembering my father. Not his last moments, drunk and a stranger. Those moments, from before, when he was the man I was proud to call my father. The man I knew I could count on, because he was always by my side.

“Tell me a little about you, Y/N. I feel like I’m just talking about myself. I really want to know you more. Listen to you.” He suggests. I raise my eyebrow, surprised.

“I don’t have anything to say.” I chuckle awkwardly.

“Of course you do. Everyone has something to say.” He argues, shaking his head. “Tell me about your life. Have you always lived in Busan?”

“Yes, I’m from Busan.” I reply, smiling slightly. “When I was younger, I went to the beach every weekend because I lived closer to the coast.”

“Really? I’ve never been to the beach.” He says, shrugging. I open my mouth, astonished.

“It’s so strange to hear that. I always went when I was a kid. For some reason, after I moved, I never did again.” I sigh, nostalgic. The things I used to enjoy a few years ago simply lost meaning, when my father died and my mother became the woman she is now.

“Why don’t you go back to the beach once in a while? It’s not that far from here.”

“I don’t know why; I just don’t go. I forgot that I missed it until I started talking to you.” I smile genuinely this time. He returns the smile, nibbling on his rosy lips that I like so much.

“Maybe we could go to the beach together. I to get to know it, and you to reconnect.” He suggests with a light and sincere smile, and my stomach, a little calmer, fills with butterflies again.

“Maybe.” I agree, not knowing if that would actually be possible. Who knows, in the future, or at some other moment. I don’t want to dismiss that possibility when it seems so sweet and inviting. I sigh, looking at the screen of my phone. It’s almost eleven o’clock. I know I have to go home. Jungkook seems to realize my doubt and makes a pout with his lips, almost like a spoiled child who didn’t get what he wanted. "I think I must go."

“We should eat first. I ordered tacos and burritos, and if everything gets cold, the food loses fifty percent of its flavor.” He says, already getting up, not giving me much opportunity to contest. I get up too, rolling my eyes.

“That’s another one of your theories? Like that one of having four meals a day?” I ask, finding it funny. I follow him into his kitchen, watching him take the Mexican food out of some containers. It looks so appetizing and seasoned that my mouth waters.

“My mom was really cruel when I was younger.” Jungkook laughs. He frowns, with that same expression he always makes when he sees something delicious, then looks at me, bringing a taco closer to my mouth. “The first bite has to be yours.”

“You can eat it. You seem hungrier than I am.” I reply, teasing. He pretends to look angry and shakes his head, as if I just said the most nonsensical thing in the world.

“I’m a gentleman. I insist.” He brings the taco closer to my mouth again, and with no alternative, I bite the food he offers me with such insistence. The spicy flavor brings such a rich explosion to my tongue that I can’t help but like it. I must have done something funny tough, because Jungkook smile, in a delightful chuckle that I had never heard coming from him.

“The corner of your mouth is dirty.” He explains in a whisper, pointing to my lower lip. I try to clean it by myself, but I seem to be unsuccessful, as he himself wipes the sauce off my skin with his thumb. I take a few seconds to realize how close he is to me, naturally intoxicating me. I can smell his perfume. His energy that brings electricity to my body. How much my skin longs for him. I want to kiss him again. To feel his lips, just like I did in this same kitchen that morning.

Jungkook seems to understand exactly what I’m thinking because he smiles that loose and careless smirk, as if he knows what I want and is waiting for me to make the first move.

“If you want to kiss me, I give you all my permission. I’m serious.” He jokes, but doesn’t laugh. His dark, big doe-eyes go toward my mouth and I see desire; feelings I had never seen directed at me. I swallow hard, nervous.

“I can’t, Jungkook. My mom, she...” I whisper, trying to organize my thoughts. He smiles, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Forget about your mom, Y/N. Do you want this?” He questions softly. I nod my head. He knows I want to, I want it so badly that it’s as if I’m going to die. “If that’s what you want, do it! Screw what your mom thinks. Just do it.”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do anything when I came here.” I tell him, chuckling nervously.

“It seems you can’t stay away from me. After that night, I don’t want to stay away from you either.” He denies, closing his eyes. “This week was hell... I don’t want to feel alone. Do you feel the same as I do?”

“I do.” I agree, and without thinking much, I kiss him.

His warm lips touch mine, and if I could save this moment in my head and make copies, I would. Unlike the first night I was here, Jungkook is calmer, less desperate. It’s as if he has time to be with me and wants to enjoy every second. I feel his hands on my waist, pulling me towards him until I’m completely fused to his body. I grunt when his tongue requests entry inside my mouth, and I can’t stop him, nor do I want to. I pull at his hair, feeling its softness, in a pleasant caress at the nape of his neck. He smiles during the kiss, moaning. He slowly separates from me, holds my cheeks with both hands, and seals our lips once again, in short pecks that spread across my entire face. I chuckle when one of them touches my jawline, tickling me.

“Stop, please!” I burst out laughing when he continues, kissing my forehead, nose, and finally, my lips again.

“I'm only stopping because I need to breathe.” He laughs with me, finally ceasing.

“Ok, clingy boy, I really need to go now.” I mock disheartened, trying to disentangle myself from him. He stops me, kissing me again.

“Please, don’t go.”

“I have to go. Seriously.”

“It’s too early.” He argues, caressing my face with his thumb.

“What happened to you, Jungkook? Why are you being so dramatic?” I question, curious. He’s different. A good different, but I can’t understand him. Does he want something serious with me? He doesn’t love the person he was in a serious relationship with, anymore? There are so many questions in my head that I feel lost.

“I'm not being dramatic. I like you, Y/N.” He assures me as if it were the most obvious thing, with those dark, big eyes, so pure... I simply can’t explain why, I just believe him.

“You do?” I ask, smiling. No one ever said that to me. A good feeling fills me; my cheeks turn red as he nods his head.

“I like. I thought you knew.” He says simply. And then peck me again. “Come on, before you go, you’re going to eat with me.”

“Okay, but I need to be quick. It’s getting really late.” I say, worried about my mom; the fact that she might find out I left the house.

“I’ll accompany you in the taxi. I’m not letting you go alone. Then I can come back here.”

“Really?” I ask. He chuckles, pulling my hand until I sit in the chair. “Then okay. Let's eat. And Jungkook?"

"What?"

"I like you too." I say, seeing his small and cute smile

Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments.

@ttipa @ane102 @joonwater

[hellbornsworld]

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆

☁︎ dirty minds | drugdealer!jk X innocent!oc | college au | Author : pinkbunny | 55 chapters | Completed |

➳ She's too innocent for his tastes. But it's only a matter of time before he can turn that pure mind into a dirty one.

☁︎ Flower Boy | Kim Taehyung x reader | Twins au | Author : MysterySender | 35 chapters | Completed |

«Kim Taehyung keeps on sending flowers to your twin sister's grave.»

☁︎not in a million years | GrimReaper!MinYoongi X Reader | Author : mociminji | 50 chapters | Completed |

"I promise I would never leave you, not in a million years."

"Stop lying, Yoongi. Why promise me a million when you don't even live a hundred years?"

"What if I say I do?"

A cliché story about Min Yoongi who fell in love with his human, you. Because, why not?

☁︎Through My Eyes | Blind!Jimin X Reader | Author : Suga__Fox | 103 chapters | Slowburn | Completed |

"You don't have to see love Darling, you feel it. When you feel it you will know, because you would rather die than live a day without it."

☁︎𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 | Mafia!Namjoon X Daycare!Reader | Cliché | Author : chewymilkyoda | 62 chapters | Completed |

Y/N Han works as a daycare worker from morning till noon. One day, she received a new kid to take care of and unknown to her that the kid's father is actually a very dangerous mafia leader that everyone goes by RM. And when RM laid his eyes on his daughter's daycare teacher he's obsessed instantly.

☁︎𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 | prince!Seokjin x village girl!reader | Author : tropicalxsabotage | 20 chapters | Completed |

❝I wish we could've met a totally different way. I hate to admit it, but I won't deny it...

I wish you would fall for me the way I feel I'm falling for you. If only.❞

☁︎𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐒 ✇ �... | ghost!Hoseok x human!reader | Author : tropicalxsabotage | 20 chapters | Completed |

❝No one ever expected it to be me,❞ Hoseok smirks chillingly. ❝I'm the one with the sweet smile.❞

☁︎ 16 Love Letters | Writer!jk X HairStylist!Reader | Author : igotbangtan_7 | 22 chapters | Ongoing |

What's a "love story" without a little darkness?

Yours Truly

JJK

☁︎ Casanova | RichKid!jk X flamenco dancer!OC | Author : jinownsmyass | 43 chapters | Completed |

❝You make the stars jealous, mi amor.❞

- In which the richest, most eligible bachelor of Seville lusts for a flamenco dancer below his class.

☁︎Lonely White Wolf | Hybrid!Yoongi X Human!Reader | Author : mociminji | 42 chapters | Completed |

In which, Min Yoongi, a lonely wolf who fell in love with his own mate's little sister, you.

☁︎Hacked | Hacker!kth X Hacker!Reader | Author : someonepassingby | 26 chapters | Ongoing |

''I'll turn your software into hardware''

☁︎He's a Demigod | Demigod!jk X Human!Reader | Crack au | Author : Atlantaes | 51 Chapters | Completed |

"You were supposed to be a bath bomb!"

"Well turns out its your lucky day, sweetheart, cause you just got something ten times better: me."

☁︎Agent Love | Agent!jk X Genie!Reader | Author : Atlantaes | 46 chapters | Completed |

"Watch where you're putting your hands, Agent Love."

In which a love genie who sucks at names and a renegade government agent are put together.

☁︎Polar Night | Older!kth x Reader | AgeGap au | Author : Amoc94 | 11 chapters | Completed |

He was a patient man.

He wouldn't mind to wait for the right time to reap what he thought he deserved. He had lived in the dark for far too long, that happiness was such a foreign notion for him. Until you crossed his path and awakened something deep inside him. Until he realized there was indeed glowing light on the other side of his world, just a flicker at the end of the journey he had to conquer.

Until the sunshine he had waited became you.

☁︎Secret Admirer | Student!Yoongi X Student!OC | Author : daralolli | OC is whipped | 56 chapters | Completed |

In which a girl has a big crush on the basketball player, min yoongi but she has a secret admirer who has been giving bottles of banana milk with sticky notes every day to her.

☁︎Unforgivable | Boyfriend BFF!kth X Reader | Author : SingularitaeAddict | Side : JK X Reader | 52 chapters | Completed |

"If someone loves you, they'd never put themselves in a position to hurt you."

☁︎COME TO ME | Pjm X Reader | Slowburn | Author : notmylilmochi | 103 chapters | Completed |

The story of a man who abandons his wife and son to be with his mistress in a foreign country. However, his world is turned upside down when he receives news that his son has fallen ill with a rare and life-threatening illness.

☁︎FUCKBOY | BFF!Yoongi X Reader | Side : JHS X Reader | Author :

Jiminttrash | 26 chapters | completed |

"It's me or that fuckboy, so choose."

☁︎sins so sweet | Badboy!jk X Innocent!Reader | Crack au | Author : ArmyArchives | 19 chapters | Ongoing |

"I'll make you feel so good, my pretty"

In which y/n is too innocent for the kinky bad boy Jeon Jungkook

☁︎The Roommate Rulebook | HopelessRomantic!Jk X Innocent!Reader | Slowburn | Author : kkookteokki | 78 Chapters | Ongoing |

When the campus heartthrob Jeon Jungkook who's actually a secret, self-professed romantic at heart, and the innocent country girl Kim Y/N, who's actually not as timid and docile as she seems, end up sharing a dorm for the semester, both discover that there's much more to their relationship than what meets the eyes.

☁︎siamese twins | PJM X OC | Twins AU | Author : dearjimin | 31 chapters | completed |

they both loved him

but he only loved one of them.

♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

OTHER POSTS:

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(4)

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)

BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)

[riaarivic]

HIS - KNJ x F!reader: 1 Into you

💗Pairings idol!NamjoonxReader

💗 Genres idol!AU, Smut, Angst, Romance, Enemies to lovers

💗 Rating 18+ minors DNI

💗 Summary  Four years have passed since the last time you saw Kim Namjoon. But now he was right in front of you, with the same stupid warm smile that made your good judgment (and underwear) disappear without a trace. You haven't seen him for four years. But now here you were working for BTS again. Having to see his insufferably attractive face every day of your life again.

But there's something Namjoon doesn't know. The little girl with almond eyes and dimples in her smile clinging to his ex-girlfriend's hip, not only looked too much like him. But she was… His.

💗  Warnings for the series: Unplanned pregnancy (I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT) Unprotected sex, foul language, angst, miscommunications, pinning, SO MUCH PINNING, Hurt/comfort. Will update as the series progress. 💗  Warnings for the chapter: reader has very conflictive emotions about the news of her pregnancy at the begining. This chapter will have some back and forth time skips

💗 A/N: ⚠️ dialogue in BOLD is intended to be in English if not, they are speaking in Korean. ⚠️

Love, Ria

💗 Chapter wordcount 3,4k

💗 Series Index 1 2

His 01: Into you

"And baby even on our worst nights. I'm into you" Into you - Paramore.

💗💗💗MARCH 2022💗💗💗

You have to admit, you've been glued to your computer screen for a solid twenty minutes, utterly motionless.

Hyung-Joon, once your boss and now your business partner, just forwarded an email confirming your company's involvement in BTS's upcoming Permission to Dance on Stage tour. The whole team was buzzing with excitement about the colossal job ahead.

It would be the biggest job in your company.

It really was the opportunity of a lifetime, the pay was enough to take Hana on a Disney cruise vacation.

For a whole year.

Three years in a row.

Heck, you could buy the damn boat.

That's how good it would be.

You should be basking in the joy of this achievement.

Yet, the smallest detail casts a shadow over the happiness—precisely, the leader of the band. The young, talented, millionaire, successful, infuriating asshole Kim Namjoon is your daughter's father.

For the tiniest detail, it must be emphasized that he had no intention of being a part of her life.

Fuck him.

He couldn't even summon the decency to meet your gaze when he sent his mother and manager to deliver an envelope full of money, effectively kicking you and your daughter out of Korea.

The memory of it turned your stomach.

💗💗💗JANUARY 2017💗💗💗

An alien.

That's how all the people saw you when you entered Big Hit as if you came from another planet entirely. An alien who spoke their language perfectly, who had not come as part of a tourist excursion, but to work.

They all regarded you as if you had a second head protruding from your back. The security, while registering your information for your access card; the staff, makeup artists, hair stylists—all whispered things as you walked by.

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

The chance of a lifetime, you reminded yourself. The pay might not be extravagant, but the perks of being part of a K-pop group's staff more than compensated for it.

You were going to travel all over the world, meet new people, eat delicious things and most of all… be as far away geographically as possible from where you came from.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime

After navigating several security checkpoints and maneuvering through what felt like a maze of boxes filled with the group's merchandise, materials, and clothing, you reached the office where they awaited you.

The global press department.

Though the term "department" sounded too grand for the small space—more like a converted broom closet with your boss's desk and yours side by side.

"Oh! Miss… um," you smiled as you saw him struggling with the pronunciation of your full name.

"Call me y/n. You must be Manager Hyung-Joon," the man let out a sigh of relief. Despite his imposing stature, dominating the tiny office, a friendly smile adorned his face.

"Miss y/n, you're just in time. They are about to finish a rehearsal, and we are going to start the first practice interviews for the US tour. Did you bring everything you need?" You nodded, and he motioned for you to follow him.

Probably, nothing you had read about this group could prepare you for what lay ahead. As Manager Hyung-Joon swung open the door, the first thing that struck you was the noise.

That room was pure Chaos.

What you'd expect if you left seven practically teenage men to their own devices. They chatted and laughed, appearing at first glance like a bunch of ordinary kids.

Not like the young men who would become the biggest musical act in history.

"Bangtan, can you please be quiet?" the manager shouted, capturing everyone's attention. "This is y/n; she will be your translator from now on." All seven pairs of eyes turned to you simultaneously, and once again, there it was.

That look that made you feel utterly out of place.

According to what you'd been told, it wasn't common for the company to hire young, let alone single, women to work with BTS. Yet, you excelled at your job, armed with a glowing recommendation letter from one of your college professors.

Fast and precise with translations, you also brought experience as a journalist before accepting this position.

And that you accepted the joke of a salary they offered.

The company deemed you useful enough to overlook the fact that you would be the only woman among these men most of the time.

But your integration into the staff didn't happen before their main manager warned them that any attempt at inappropriate behavior towards you would result in drastic consequences.

Not to mention the uncomfortably awkward conversation you had in the president's office, where terms like contraceptives, confidentiality agreements, and the ominous "If you have any kind of relationship with one of the members, we will sue you for everything you have" echoed.

Though you were sure the suitcase you brought to Korea wouldn't be much help to a music company at the time.

The message was clear:

Mess with one of them.

You're out.

It's not like you were interested in a workplace romance; true, they were all attractive, but you needed this job more than anything else in the world.

At that time, Bangtan was gearing up for their promotions in the United States, and they required someone to assist them in English communication.

So they wouldn't be overly dependent on him.

"Do you even speak Korean?" that was the very first words he spoke to you. He wore an expression somewhere between puzzled and annoyed for a moment before turning to speak to Hyung-Joon as if you weren't there. "Are you sure she's not a stalker?"

"I'm a communications major from Busan National University. I also speak Japanese, French, Spanish, and Portuguese. But my first language is English. I suppose that answers your question," you retorted, meeting his gaze challengingly, and he rolled his eyes as if your response bored him.

At the far end of the room, you heard an amused snort; you recognized him from the dossier—his name was Suga.

"Did that lady just shut up Namjoon-hyung?" the youngest among them stared at you as if you were a unicorn, a mythical creature, the weirdest thing he has ever seen, and the older one nudged him to stop staring.

"Nice to meet you all; my name is y/n. I will be your translator, and I hope you can take care of me." You bowed, and when you straightened, you smiled at everyone. He kept his stare locked at you, irritated and unimpressed by your initial response.

That was the beginning of it all.

💗💗💗DECEMBER 2018💗💗💗

Fool.

A complete fool is how you felt, your heart pounding in your chest as you found yourself on your bathroom floor holding a positive pregnancy test. Four years ago, your heart held a different kind of weight, the weight of a secret growing within you.

Two weeks after he had returned to Seoul.

Exactly two weeks after you had told him to get the fuck out of your life.

No. That's not true.

You know better now. He was already gone before you found the strength to let him go. You just hadn't realized it.

So, here you were sitting on your bathroom floor. The weight of your shared history hanging heavily between you. Looking at the abstract pattern on the tiles feeling like a complete idiot.

Feeling guilty for a child who will grow up without a father.

Because...

You thought you were strong enough to handle it. You believed you could navigate motherhood alone, but...

Should you tell him?

Would it be too selfish to unveil this reality now?

How could you shatter his world, now that his career soared to unprecedented heights?

And the company…

You knew The company would go to great lengths to erase you and this secret from existence if necessary..

Kim Namjoon the leader of BTS.

Korea's pride.

Fathering an unplanned child out of wedlock with a foreigner?

It could dismantle everything he had worked for.

And his group. It will destroy them and he will never forgive you for it.

Besides, did you even have the right to reenter his life?

After what you have said to him? After the wounds you carved upon each other?

You wanted to cry, but the tears remained trapped within your eyes.

Kim Namjoon, the man known as RM, the leader of BTS, was your adversary, your lover, the man who once held your heart, and the one who shattered it into irreparable pieces—

All within a year.

💗💗💗NOVEMBER 2019💗💗💗

This is a terrible idea

It took you too long to work up the courage to tell him that you had had a daughter. But you couldn't tell him by phone call or mail.

You mustered all the courage you had and took a plane from Los Angeles to Korea. You definitely did not imagine how extremely difficult 16 hours on a flight with a one year old baby would be.

You had to bribe Jungkook with buying him 10 cartons of banana milk to get his new number.

Calling him was much harder.

"Hello?" His voice, after a year, stirred emotions you believed buried deep within.

You had no idea what to say.

Hi Namjoon, remember me? I'm y/n, your ex-girlfriend, ex-enemy, ex-translator? Oh, by the way, we have a daughter. I'm in Korea. Sorry for not telling you earlier; I panicked, thinking the company might erase us if they found out. Congratulations on the new album.

Definitely not that.

"Hey, Joonie," you blurted, and somehow felt like worse alternative, "I'm in Korea, and I'd like to talk…"

"Yes," he interrupted, his voice as desperate as yours, "I'm sending a driver for you. Where are you staying?"

Two hours later, a black company van awaited you in front of your hotel. It transported you to a far more luxurious apartment complex than their previous dormitory.

They are doing so well.

That made you proud, they deserved every drop of success they had.

But he wasn't in the apartment.

Waiting for you in the living room was a face you'd only seen once—Namjoon's mother, Mrs. Kim Seolmi. Accompanied by bodyguards and a staff member, her gaze held the same mix of disappointment and anger as the first meeting. Her eyes shifted sourly when they landed on Hana, in your arms.

Hana was the vivid image of her father, every feature, dimples, almond eyes, pouty lips, and even her expressions. Seeing Namjoon in her.

It took Mrs. Kim mere seconds to deduce the baby in your arms was her granddaughter.

"He doesn't want to see you, neither you nor the bastard child you're carrying. Did you think you could pass off just anyone's daughter as my son's?" She pulled an envelope from her bag. You knew it contained money. "Take it and leave. A gold-digger like you, using men for money. How disgusting."

"Madam, I don't need your money. If Namjoon doesn't want to see me, he should tell me himself." You clutched your crying daughter, scared by the woman's shouts.

From a corridor emerged Sejin, BangTan's main manager. He always knew everything about them. And his presence here meant The company was already aware that Namjoon had a daughter.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, Miss y/n, but it's true. He asked us to give this to you," Sejin handed you a sealed letter with your name on it, "and this you must sign. It's the only way to prevent the company from taking legal action against you for involving yourself with a member."

"Ha! As if the half-breed was really my Namjoon's daughter."

Oh you were going to kill that woman.

Before you could unleash your thoughts, Sejin spoke again. "y/n, you know what it means to be in a relationship with an idol, let alone having a daughter out of wedlock. This could destroy him and Bangtan. I'm sure you don't want that." His voice carried pity.

"You don't want to go trough this, and we know you don't want to put your daughter through it." He took a breath and sat in front of you. "The company is willing to compensate you for your silence. It's your only option—"

"I don't want your fucking money, Sejin"

"Miss, if you go against the company, we'll have to fight in court, and you could lose custody of your daughter. I'm sorry, but it's true. He didn't want to come when he found out you were coming with your child."

He didn't want to come

When he found out

That you were coming with a child.

Your child.

That phrase echoed in your mind for years. You could still close your eyes and see Sejin's pitiful face—the same one he wore when informing an employee they could no longer work for them.

Because they spoke a second too long with one of them.

Because they smiled at them a little too much.

Because feelings started to emerge.

All were fired and forced to sign mountains of legal documents preventing them from ever speaking about what transpired.

Some were even offered positions at other agencies.

"You're fortunate Bang PDnim decided to compensate you. But it's your decision," he concluded.

Three hours later, you were repacking to return to Los Angeles, vowing never to set foot in Seoul again.

This should never have happened.

As you wiped away tears, your phone buzzed with several notifications.

Message from unknown number: Doll, it's Yoongi. Jungkook told me you were here and you were staying at a hotel in Myeongdon. Message from unknown number: I'm coming to see you.

Message from Cookie 🍪: Y/n Noona, Yoongi Hyung asked me to give him your number. Thanks for the banana milk, you should stop by the dorm and let's drink soju like old times!!!!

Message from NJ: I am so sorry. I hope you can understand.

The last message made you want to throw up.

The phone started vibrating with an incoming call…..

💗💗💗MARCH 2022💗💗💗

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Hyun-Joon regarded you with the same concerned eyes he had five years ago when you first met. He had transitioned from being your boss to your business partner and, eventually, one of your dearest friends. A few months after your departure from Korea, he called to share the news of starting their own management agency with a friend.

The startup funds came from the envelope Sejin handed you as compensation for never disclosing the identity of your daughter's father.

At least something good came from shattering your heart into a thousand pieces.

Today, you were the CEO of a flourishing company offering diverse services to music companies in Korea—translators, managers, staff, security; you had it all, and your agency ranked as the best in the market.

It was only a matter of time before you appeared on HYBE's radar.

It was only a matter of time before you found yourself back in the same room as him.

"Of course, this is the best contract the agency has had since we started. We are professionals, and your CEO is no exception," you reassured yourself more than Hyun-Joon.

He scrutinized you, trying to believe your conviction. "Well, let's get ready; they are about to come in."

The sight before you differed vastly from the first time you saw them in the modest conference room at what was then Big Hit. Through the glass door leading to your meeting room, the bodyguards entered first, followed by the new individual managers.

You knew much had changed since your last encounter. Initially, it was just you and a handful of staff members.

Now, it felt as if the President of the United States or Beyoncé were about to make an entrance.

Scratch that, the president's secret service probably had fewer people.

The room was nearly full, yet they hadn't arrived.

Jungkook walked in first. The last time you saw him, he still wore his school uniform. Now, he appeared as if he had stepped out of a novel, exuding a bad-boy aura with tattoos and all-black attire.

Behind him, Taehyung, the shy boy with the innocent smile, wore a designer suit, exuding timeless elegance like the protagonist of an old Hollywood film. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him.

Jimin seemed unchanged yet transformed simultaneously—beautiful, elegant, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. When he saw you, he smiled discreetly, as if holding back many unspoken words.

Following him, J-Hope entered. His off-stage personality always intimidated you, yet he remained the kindest and most focused among them. That hadn't changed.

Yoongi walked in behind him, smiling genuinely upon seeing you. Among all of them, he was the only one you still maintained contact with. Nonetheless, seeing him in person brought a sense of relief.

Jin came in almost last, and you couldn't help but be amused. Despite not having seen him in person for four years, he hadn't aged a day. Serene as ever, he entered with a respectful bow.

A chill ran down your spine.

They entered in the official order.

From youngest to oldest.

And last.

Him.

Kim Namjoon, always entering last, responsible for introducing them all. Front and center, as always. His now-blond hair caught your attention first. Even beneath his clothes, you could see that he had grown. His arms filled his shirt just like his chest and legs.

Your mind instinctively wandered into territory you almost slapped yourself for entertaining.

You looked up, and he was looking at you. Whether he was surprised or not, his face revealed nothing. With almost a decade in the business, Kim Namjoon knew how to conceal his emotions.

Assuming he had any.

He obviously doesn't care to see you. And who were you to him?—just some woman he was fucking four years ago.

Just

The mother of his daughter.

Your ears buzzed, and you were so deeply lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice when he began talking.

"...it's a pleasure for us to work again with you and your agency," that damn voice, it could still stir emotions in you. "Miss Y/LN, it's also nice to see you again."

Oh, is he going to call you by your last name?

"It's Lee now," your voice sounded cooler than you thought it would, perfect.

"Congratulations, in that case," he stiffened his jaw, and you smiled at him. Simultaneously, several people in the room tensed up.

Ah yes, that was another detail Kim Namjoon obviously didn't know about you.

Eric Lee was your other business partner and your best friend. You had married three years ago so that he could obtain a visa and stay in the US with you.

Eric gave his last name to Hana and had practically raised her with you.

And also.

Eric was completely, totally, and utterly gay.

Your marriage was only on paper.

But that was a detail you weren't going to explain to Kim Namjoon.

By the way… where the hell was he?

Namjoon cleared his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts. "In that case, I think we can start—"

"Mommy!" a little voice interrupted, entering the room. With so many people there, you could only see the top of her dark brown hair. "Uncle said to play hide and seek; can I hide with you?"

Almond eyes.

Dimples in the smile.

The same pouty lips.

Kim Namjoon who was almost 10 years in the industry and knew perfectly well how to hide his emotions, but he looked at the little girl in front of him as if he had just seen an alien.

His face showed a thousand questions.

How old was that little girl?

Why did she have the same eyes as him?

Why had she called you mom?

Did you have a daughter?

The whole room tensed up.

Oh shit, I knew this was a bad idea.

But things happened so fast.

For the first time in her life, Kim Namjoon looked at his daughter's face.

And you were looking at the consecuence of what once was a stolen kiss behind a closed door.

And then evolved to so much more.

A snarky remark.

An irritated snort after others spoke.

A heated argument in a press room.

A few stolen kisses behind the staff room door.

A night in a hotel room.

And despite your reluctance to admit it,

Despite everything.

You would always be

His.

💗💗💗💗💗💗

I KNOOOOOWWWW! Another fic and I haven't finished translating/editing/rewriting/posting Hate!. But Yes, I had to, I had a writers block and decided to pull this one out of the vault of prompts.

Pregnancy troupe? while I'm writing a dark mafia romance? I KNOW But hear me out with this one, it is A RIDE.

I REALLY wanted to write a short agnsty BUT filled with heart clenching romance and.. other things clenching smuttines.

Yes, I'll continue updating Hate! but i would love you a bit if you give this baby a chance... literal baby. AND KIM NAMJOON AS A GIRL DAD!!?? IM NOT GOING TO DEPRIVE MYSELF OF THAT

Ps. If you want to be on the tag list drop a comment below!! 👩🏼‍💻✨

As always love you guys,

Ria 💗

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

Masterlist || candlewaxandp0lar0ids

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BTS

★ Namjoon

↳ Lazy Day // fluff. domestic!AU, established relationship. 549 words

★ Jin

↳ Don't Go Baking My Heart // fluff. bakery!AU, strangers to lovers. 14.7k.

You fall in love with Kim Seokjin’s bakery after wandering into it to take advantage of the post-Valentine’s Day discount on the chocolates. Maybe it’s the owner’s bad jokes, maybe it’s the other regulars, maybe it’s the delicious pastries. Or maybe there’s something more that keeps you coming back to that shop.

★ J-Hope

↳ For the First Time (What's Past is Past) // fluff, light angst, smut. neighbors!AU, strangers to lovers. 15.7k

After your eight years relationship comes to a brutal end, you don’t really see yourself getting back into dating — ever, probably. And then, your new neighbor who has the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen needs to borrow a corkscrew, and you don’t realize it just yet, but your resolve doesn’t stand a chance.

★ Jimin

↳ Fly to my room // fluff. college!AU. 1k

↳ good for you // PWP, smut. friends with benefits!AU. 2.9k

★ Jungkook

↳ I Don't Like a Gold Rush // fluff. college!AU, strangers to lovers. 17.3k

Jungkook is the golden boy, an excellent student, the star of you college’s football team. Rumor has it, there’s simply nothing he can’t do. The same cannot be said about you, but you’ve never had an issue with that. You’re happy with your small group of friends and your lack of talent in sports. And then, Jin befriends Jungkook, and you find yourself spending a lot of time with him. Before you know it, you’ve taken an interest in him — and you’re sure you shouldn’t. There’s no way this can end well for you… right?

↳ if i can never give you peace // series. angst, eventual smut. mafia!AU, hybrid!AU, enemies to lovers, slow burn. in progress.

It starts like quite a few stories do, in your world. Girl meets boy, who happens to be a hybrid, girl buys him at an auction where hybrids are sold, boy falls in love with her, girl gets bored of him. Then it’s not so typical anymore, when the boy ends up forced into illegal fighting rings, until he makes a wrong move and the girl’s father decides he needs to be killed. Where does that leave you? Well, you’re the one who handled Jungkook’s fight and generally organized his life, and, when the girl’s father, your boss and mafia leader, tells you he wants him ‘put down’, you’re the one who has to get it done. Except, instead, you let him escape, and everything turns out fine. Until he comes back.

0 · 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · Interlude · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 ·

STRAY KIDS

★ Bang Chan

↳ all your friends are so cool, you go out every night // smut. college!AU, friends with benefits!AU, jealousy. 5k.

↳ hoodie season // tooth-rotting fluff. established relationship AU. 1.4k.

★ Lee Know

↳ when he sees me // smut, fluff, angst. neighbors!AU. 13.3k. in progress.

Interacting with others has never been easy for you, whether it is talking to them or, worse, flirting with them. As a result, relationships, but also any form of sexual interactions have always eluded you. You had no reason to think that was going to change anytime soon. And then your hot neighbor’s cat shows up in your apartment, and you think that things just might change. Even if it’s only on one front.

↳ kinda wanna throw my phone across the room // fluff. college!AU, coffee shop!AU, strangers to lovers, jealousy. 4.9k

★ Changbin

↳ wanna be you so bad // angst? college!AU, academic rivals!AU, jealousy. 4.3k

★ Hyunjin

↳ you're so gorgeous it makes me so mad // PWP, smut. college!AU, established relationship. 4.4k

↳ comparison is killing me slowly // hurt/comfort, smut. college!AU, established relationship, jealousy. 5.2k. same couple as you're so gorgeous it makes me so mad.

★ Han

↳ i'm so sick of myself // fluff, angst. college!AU, friends to lovers. 4.2k

↳ something's waiting now to pounce // angst, light horror, thriller. high school!AU, slasher!AU, friends to lovers. 6.3k.

★ Felix

↳ felix navidad // fluff, angst. christmas evel!au, strangers to lovers. 16.4k

You keep seeing Felix around. First he falls in your courtyard on Christmas Eve, then you see him hiding chocolate eggs in a park, and then he appears on the staircase behind your apartment, in the middle of the night. It’s unusual, and you have no idea what it means. What you do know, though, is that you’re absolutely fascinated by him, who he is, and the light and joy he seems to bring with him everywhere he goes. Even if you have no idea who or what he is, all that you want is to find out more — and get to spend a little more time with him.

↳ rather be anyone else // angst. college!AU, friends to lovers, jealousy. 3.7k

↳ wouldn't you like to see something strange? // angst, suggestive. urban fantasy, roommates!AU. 4k.

★ Seungmin

↳ i think i think too much // fluff, suggestive. college!AU, established relationship, jealousy. 3.7k

↳ everybody make a scene // fluff, angst (both light). coworkers!AU, convenience store!AU, friends to lovers. 4k

★ I.N.

↳ all i see are girls too good to be true // fluff, light angst. college!AU, idiots to lovers, jealousy. 3.9k

↳ take a chance and roll the dice // fluff. coworkers!AU, bar!AU. 3.7k

[solarwonux]

Business Proposal || knj (6/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love Warnings: slow burn, angst, talks about sexual assault, talks about being drugged, nosey people, rumors, boxing, drinking. Rating: mature, 18+ w.c: 11.7k Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

a/n: hello, I'm here after thousands of years. Thank you so much for sticking around I know I can't upload as often as I used to :( Lololol and I couldn't wait unti tomorrow^^ Also this chapter was very heavy for me to write, but I'm happy that I did it! That's all lmk your thoughts and I will see you when I see you :))

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It took you almost three hours to fall asleep.

You felt all giddy and excited for the morning to come, so much so that you woke up before your alarm without a complaint. Everything just felt so much simpler and brighter. You didn’t groan when the morning light peeked through the little slits between your blinds. You didn’t hesitate to push the white duvet from your body. And you practically skipped to the kitchen where Namjoon danced to his own rhythm as he prepared what seemed to be kimchi eggs.

At least that’s what your nose was hinting at. If you weren’t so distracted by the pleasant tangy smell, you would’ve noticed it the second you walked through his kitchen arcs. Maybe you would’ve had enough time to keep your jaw from hitting the floor, but it was like he sensed you despite your slow movements and turned around the moment you walked in.

“I made you breakfast.”

There was Kim Namjoon in all his perfect glory. Smiling. Shirtless. With a pair of black sleeping shorts hanging just below the navel of his abs, a light brown apron to protect him from the gas stove. You couldn’t see everything but you could see enough, and if enough was what was making you shake, then you were thankful you couldn’t see everything.

“Did you sleep well?” He cocked his head to the side as he plated your eggs on one of your ceramic plates with painted clouds on it. The stark contrast between his decor and yours was starting to morph into each other, slowly becoming perfect molds of the other and you had only been living together for a day.

“U-um, yeah my mattress is much more comfortable than my old one so I slept like I was on a cloud.” You said in a soft whisper as you slowly made your way to the barstool. Once you were seated you looked at the absolute feast in front of you.

Perfectly scrambled eggs with kimchi, a side salad, peanut butter toast topped with a perfect circle of sliced bananas, and a small bowl of tofu soup. This wasn’t like any breakfast you could ever make yourself. It was more than you deserved.

Suddenly you felt like crying. It’s only been a day since your compromise. You didn’t expect him to do a complete one eighty in the last twelve hours since you last saw each other. You were expecting small arguments here and there before they slowly died down. The domesticity of it all was slightly overwhelming, but you didn’t get enough to react like you would’ve liked because he was clumsily working his way through the kitchen again. Turning on the stove and mixing ingredients right before your eyes.

He looked so comfortable, effortless. You felt like a misplaced doll.

“What are you doing?” Was what came out of your mouth instead of the ‘thank you’ you had been mindlessly repeating over and over in your head. He chuckled, turning his head giving you a sweet dimpled smile.

He had to be messing with you. Not even the Namjoon you knew before acted like this. He never smiled wide enough to make his dimples appear and his eyes turn into little half moons. Unless it was towards his mother, who always made him turn into the sweet little boy she helped raise along with her son.

“I’m making us lunch. I figured we should clear out the fridge as much as possible to restock with new produce.” He shrugs and turns his attention back to the lilac frying pan he was using. Before you can answer with whatever obscenity your frontal lobe was currently developing. He spoke up again, “I’ve finished most of it already but when you’re done eating can you cut up the kiwi’s for me.” He finishes, continuing his task.

Certainly you’ve woken up in a different dimension. Are you still dreaming? This was most definitely not the same Namjoon who you were arguing with just a couple of days ago. Maybe it was his long lost twin brother that his entire family had kept hidden until now. Though, that theory would’ve been debunked with the amount of times you spent at his parents house doing Jungkook’s laundry for him. Maybe he fell last night and hit his head against one of his curated art pieces.

Come to think of it, you did wake up to the sound of something falling last night at around three in the morning.

That just had to be it!

“Are you okay?”

Namjoon stops and reaches his arm over, circling his fingers around the black knob to turn off the gas. He waits for the flame to die down before placing the pink rubber spatula on one of your cat holders. He turns around slowly, moving a bit to the side and leans against his perfect marble counter. One hand resting firmly on his hip.

He tilts his head to one side and narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. “I’m perfectly fine, why do you ask?” He replies through a forced gritted smile. His calm and composed demeanor falters for a second and you almost let out a sigh of relief.

There had been no alien abduction last night. The last and final theory you had come up with. The Namjoon you knew was still present, and he was slightly annoyed.

“You’re not being you?” You confess pushing your eggs around on your plate.

Namjoon scoffs and pushes himself away from the counter and begins to untie his apron. You’re in the middle of your first bite, when you see him throw it onto his kitchen island. Your eyes almost fall out of their sockets when you finally get a glimpse of his faint abdominal muscles. But what really has you swallowing fast so you don’t choke on your food is his chest. And the bulging muscles of his arms as he crosses them in front of him.

Did he turn off the air con? It is suddenly really hot in this kitchen.

“I don’t think you know me well enough to make that assumption.” He speaks up, taking you out of your trance. Right, you think. This isn’t time to shamelessly ogle at Namjoon’s body. You’re in a serious conversation? At least that’s the direction it seems to be heading. Whatever type of conversation you could currently be having with Namjoon, his tone of voice and accusatory glance triggers something in you. You’ve forgotten the compliment about how his hard work at the gym is paying off. The heatwave is replaced with a wave of defense and you’re up in a seconds ready to stand your ground in a battle that you have unintentionally started.

“I’m just saying Namjoon, you’re acting completely different than the person you were just last night.”

Namjoon shakes his head, grabs hold of the pan and sets it on top of an old kitchen rag. “You wanted a compromise, this is me trying. You wanted to be friends, so I’m treating you like how I treat all of my friends.” He mumbles and opens a lilac tupperware and begins to plate the spinach spaghetti aglio he had been making this entire time.

Defeated, you sit back down on the barstool. So, this is what being Namjoon’s friend was like. What were you all of those years ago?

It’s that realization that has you standing again, almost knocking down the barstool, catching Namjoon’s attention whipping his head in your direction, a confused look on his face. The conversation isn’t over yet, and he guesses it’s because that stubborn part of you that always needed to have the last word is still in there. He finds it just as infuriating as he did all those years ago.

“So you basically beg all of your friends to marry you?” You start, the accusation isn’t enough to fire up Namjoon. That is until you open your mouth again. “You kiss all your friends too.” You mumble, looking around his kitchen, taking in the modernism and avoiding the glare he sends your way.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He speaks up. His voice is laced with annoyance. You always knew how to hold a grudge and you always knew how to bring up past mistakes in order to win an argument.

“Do you cook breakfast and lunch for all of your friends? You give them all jobs and help pay for their student loans? Oh, do you offer them a place to live or a separate house too? Or do you only do that for the woman you pay to be with you?” You accuse, rolling your eyes in annoyance. It’s a petty accusation and definitely out of pocket, but that’s what he does to you. He brings out the nasty little monster that still holds a grudge against him for what he did to you all those years ago.

Namjoon has had enough. The anger sizzles inside of him. He slams the lid of the tupperware down against his countertop, making you jump. He turns to face you slowly, moving his chest up and down in a poor attempt to stay calm. The peaceful and easy morning you thought you were going to have has moved out of the vicinity. As well as the deal the two of you made last night, and you’re the only one to blame.

You just can’t ever keep your mouth shut.

“What exactly are you referring to?” He seethes, taking deep breaths as he grips the corner of his countertop with one hand.

“I can’t help but think you have ulterior motives. Nothing about this makes any sense to me. I haven’t been working on campus for long but I have already heard the rumors questioning your character. And Jungkook has continuously ranted about the revolving door of women that would come in and out of your apartment when the two of you lived together. I just can’t begin to understand why I’m your last choice, why I’m the one in this position when you and I both know that there’s someone out there way better. Unless you want something more from me otherwise why would you have kissed me?”

Namjoon closes his eyes, taking in your words. If he’s being honest with himself he also doesn’t understand his motives. He knows why he is doing this. At least the half that involves his parents. But you’re right he doesn’t know why it had to be you in the first place. Sure, it was the simpler choice and he was running out of time, but if he really wanted to he could’ve bought himself some time to find the person he truly wants to share his life with.

Could it be that deep down he wants it to be you?

He can’t stand you accusing him of stooping so low though. He doesn’t know why he kissed you. It was an impulse that he has never felt in his entire life. Yet, he feels so angry that he can’t think clearly, because he’s spent years dodging the accusations at work, and Jungkook’s gossiping.

“You think I am paying you for sex?” He says in disbelief.

You shrug, pushing in the barstool. “I mean it wouldn’t be the first time that you pay someone for sex, according to your colleagues. Which I hold no judgment for but I am not that type of person.”

“And you believe that nonsense?” He chuckles dryly, shaking his head. “I thought that you out of all people would not believe those rumors. I have never done that in my life, because like you just said I am not that ‘type of person’. I will also never do that to you.” He argues, taking slow steps in your direction, reducing the air that’s separating the two of you.

“Why? Because I am undesirable?” You spit out. Throwing out the words that hurt you the most all of those years ago.

He shakes his head, rounding the corner to the bar and stands right in front of you. “No, that’s not why? I–”

“Then why? Namjoon I don’t understand I–”

“I respect you too much.” He interrupts looking at you with pleading eyes. It’s a look you have never seen on him before. It’s new, it feels foreign and it makes you doubt his words even more. Especially when you know that he hasn’t shown any ounce of respect for you since before he rudely barged into your life again.

You click your tongue, turning your head to the side. His gaze burns with something you can’t decipher. “You don’t have to lie, there’s no one around.”

“I’m not lying.” He fights back his voice full of hope. “You don’t have to believe me but–”

“Of course I don’t. Not only have you been a complete asshole since we met again but years ago you threw my feelings for you right to my face. You called me crazy, undesirable, and unlovable. And in that same vein you confessed to me.” Your hands quickly go up to cover your mouth. Your eyes bulge out in surprise. The little secret you had been holding in for the past ten years escapes you before you can even stop yourself. Nobody knew what had really happened after your tumultuous fight. It was something you were going to take with you to your grave.

Namjoon is stunned. He’s stuck between calling you out on your bullshit and believing you. Truth be told he doesn’t remember anything else from that night. Apart from the fight he had with you, and the words he said very clearly.

Could it be that there has always been a missing piece to his story. One that he never bothered to look for because he didn’t know it existed. Until now.

If he’s being honest, Namjoon never understood why you cut all ties with him from one day to another. Sure, he was brutal in his choice of words. He wanted to get his point across but he was always so much better at writing them rather than saying them. The second he opened his mouth both of your worlds turned upside down, and he was full of regret. As a last ditch resort to salvage the remaining spark of your friendship because back then he couldn’t picture a life without you in it–and maybe that’s transversed to now–he apologized. He wrote you a letter, explaining his thought process and that he valued you a lot more than you could ever imagine, but nothing came out of it.

Did you even get his letter?

He figures you did but choose to walk away for good. It’s something that he’s kept locked next to his heart. It’s a hurt he’s never fully healed from and it’s why he acts so cold towards you. Believe him, he’s been suffering since Taehyung’s party. But if what you’re saying is true, then he might finally understand something that has been keeping him up at night whenever he gets into his head.

“I what?” His ego is faltering as he watches your eyes water with frustrated tears. Every negative thought he’s ever had of you since then to make himself feel better for his heinous words and unproclaimed apology, makes him look even worse than before.

Your shoulders drop, “You came back. You apologize, and told me that you had loved me all this time.” You sniffle, wrapping your arms around yourself tightly. “You were drunk, so I didn’t believe you. I thought you were playing a joke on me, but I made myself believe that if you could tell me exactly that when you woke up the next day then I would forgive you.” You take a deep breath in, closing your eyes tightly. “I never got to know the truth because Jungkook called me. He was furious, asking if I had seen you. He let it slip that the girl you had picked up that night refused to leave and was trashing the apartment.” You take a step back from him. “So, I can’t believe you when you tell me that you respect me because if you did then you wouldn’t have told me that you were in love with me after you told me I could never be loved, and not after you had slept with someone else.” You finish, bringing your hand up and whipping away the lone tear that you had let slip.

The truth was finally out.

The real reason why you never talked to him again. And the reason why your self-esteem crumbled into tiny pieces of glass. You hated that time. You slipped into bad habits, looking for validation in different crowds that never had your well-being in mind. You spiraled out of control. You let go of your bodily autonomy because for the longest time you thought you weren’t worth it. Until the night in which everything was taken from you. Both Jungkook and Jimin were there to witness the crumpled up piece of paper that you had become. It’s why they’re so protective of you because seeing you so helpless and paralyzed with fear was horrifying.

They haven’t voiced it out loud yet, but you know they don’t want you to go through this thing with Namjoon. Although, he wasn’t the culprit for your distrust in men. He was the reason as to why you went down a road that you didn’t belong on.

So, as much as you would like too, because guarding yourself with high walls is tiring. You can’t let them down. You lost so much for such a long time. Keeping them up is the only way you can protect yourself.

“No, I’m–no, I didn't do that.” He starts letting his hands fall against his sides. Your attention is back on him and you’ve never witnessed someone look so lost. “I would’ve remembered, I never drink that much.”

“So, I’m lying?” You scoff, throwing your hands in the air. As much as you're angry and want to continue fighting for your side. You’ve held on for so long to that little secret and now that it is out. You feel more exhausted than before.

Namjoon shakes his head. “I didn’t sleep with anyone that night. I would remember if I did.” He says more to himself. His head feels like it's being rewired a milliseconds at a time. Everything he’s thought up until this point feels foreign to him. He’s angry at himself, at Jungkook, and you. He’s trying to recall the events of that night. You told him you loved him with a starry look in your eyes. He turned you down in the worst way possible. He left. He went to the little speakeasy bar located in between a chinese-korean fusion restaurant and a lighting shop, by his apartment. He was approached by someone they talked a little and then he hits a black wall. He suspects that’s where the missing puzzle piece is hidden. He truly doesn’t remember ever going back to see you. Only that the next day he woke up woke up with the worst hangover of his life and Jungkook’s silent treatment that lasted more than two months.

“I really don-“

You lift a hand in defeat, and Namjoon’s words fall dead in the air. You let out a big sigh. “You don’t have to come up with any excuses to spare my feelings. What’s done is done. You don’t have to do all of this either.” You signal to your now forgotten breakfast and half packed lunch. “We can continue to pretend outside of this apartment, but we don’t have to try so hard to like each other and build something between the two of us. I’m sorry for suggesting it in the first place. I thought it would make things a lot easier but now I see that it won’t.” You say almost sadly before finally turning around and walking away.

It’s frustrating because even now he still lets you have the last word. He has so many things he wants to say, but his words are stunted with shock.

If Namjoon was born lucky, we would’ve stopped you from walking away from him again. He would’ve tried to convince you to call out of work so that the two of you could figure this out together. He’s never felt more serious about something before in his life–except for his research. He needs to know what happened during the second half of that night, and you’re the only one who seems to know.

Sadly, he wasn’t born lucky, and he loves to take the easy way out. He’s stuck watching your back, while his feet stay glued on the ground. He’s stuck with having to go about his day as if his world hasn’t just been flipped upside down by you.

There’s a rumor going around in the Literature/ Philosophy/Rhetoric department of HYBE U.

Professor Kim has stormed out of his classroom.

It was a lecture on aesthetics. Ancient aesthetics to be exact. It is one of his favorite’s to teach because he can talk about how beauty can be found in tragedy. It’s an immerseful lecture, it’s inspiring at all times. Namjoon loves to get lost in the philosophy of it all. You could almost say that he’s obsessed with how they believed that for one to be beautiful on the outside, they would need to be vicious on the inside. It proposes the questions:

Is beauty reflective of one's inner self or of what they desire? What lengths would you go to, to achieve that beauty?

Except on Monday for Namjoon’s first lecture of the day, he never made it that far. He never got the chance to hear his students' input, because he walked out ten minutes after walking into the lecture hall. He didn’t give anybody a warning. He didn’t pack up his stuff, he just stormed out, leaving behind a bewildered room of about twenty something pupils.

He hasn’t been seen since.

“I heard that one of Professor Kim’s parents died.”

“I heard that he was coming out of a weekend bender, I mean did you see how he was dressed. It’s like he just rolled out of bed.”

“I heard that it was a cocaine bender. I mean none of those crazy philosophy professors are sober.”

“Actually I heard Professor Kim’s fiance left him. She took advantage of him and then walked out on him this past weekend.”

Normally, contrary to popular belief you wouldn’t have thought twice about the rumors going around campus. Sure, you did tell Namjoon that you believed the rumors that were going around about him sleeping with multiple of the staff. Deep down you knew they weren’t true. At least to a certain extent, you won’t fault him for entertaining his desires.

Now as you’re making your way through the department the whispers only get louder from both faculty and students. The vicious stares only keep zeroing in the closer you get to your office, and if you have to hear one more person say something along the lines of: “Oh, she’s the one that took all his assets, look at her prancing around like she owns the world.” You will go insane.

Have they never seen a couples brawl before?

Though it does bother you to a certain extent. You didn’t leave him. You’re very much still with him. The only difference is the dynamics between the two of you. You only assume you’re being brought into this because you took a taxi to work rather than riding with him.

“I heard Professor Kim caught her with his step-brother, looks like she’s interested in good for nothing guys.”

You stop dead in your tracks, clutch onto your laptop case with an iron grip. Furious is an understatement you’re seething. You could ignore the things being said about you, knowing they would die down the minute they see the two of you together, but not the things being said about Jungkook.

Seriously, did they never fight with their significant other?

Yet, now that Jungkook is being thrown into the mix. You’re seeing red. So, instead of continuing your route to your office, you quickly turn, glaring at the person who just spewed the accusation, and make your way to Namjoon’s office.

You’re walking so fast that you’re there in seconds. You stare at the gold name plate in front of you. Dr. Namjoon Kim, it reads. You don’t let yourself admire it for a second longer because now you have an urgency that feels overwhelming. You knock so hard, your knuckles turn red. He opens on the third knock. His blue dress shirt is untucked, his tie forgotten on his desk. There are papers everywhere, yellow notepads sprawled all over the floor.

Jungkook is sitting at his desk, scrolling through the desktop.

Now you understand why Jungkook was suddenly being brought into the mess.

Namjoon is stunned, he’d been so out of it for the whole day, that he had forgotten that you worked with him in the same building. He’s been hiding out in his office, sending mass emails to all of his students, letting them know that due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’ he will be canceling all of his classes today.

Then, Jungkook showed up. His confusion lasted for a few seconds when he remembered that his brother’s sudden appearance wasn’t out of the blue.

Somewhere on his desk calendar were the words ‘Jungkook computer’ penciled in. It had completely slipped his mind that he had contacted the younger to set up the new desktop computer he had just bought. It required a set of skills that Namjoon d didn’t posses, and the only language he hasn’t bothered to learn, unlike his brother. The computer genius, Jungkook’s strongest forte. Those three semesters of computer coding classes didn’t go to waste. Only the amount of money he spent on them. He left them behind right before his last semester to earn a two year degree in photography, along with his parent’s disappointment.

“Can I come in?” You tilt your head gesturing to the inside of his office. He’s still looking at you wide-eyed, lost, and confused. Almost like he doesn’t quite understand why you are here. He thought he read the signs right this morning when he went to get you from your room to ask if you still wanted a ride to work. It was empty so he immediately took that as you not wanting to talk to him for a while.

Now, you were here standing in front of his office. It wasn’t even lunch time, and he knows you’ve already finished your last lecture of the day. Usually at this time you’re in your office waiting for him to finish, to go home together. It’s a routine that didn’t take long for him to memorize, especially because he had your work schedule printed out and pinned next to a picture of his family on the gray bulletin board of his office.

He is confused because you do want to talk to him now?

He doesn’t realize that he’s only been staring at you like a deer caught in headlights, without saying a word. His train of thought only breaks when you open your mouth again to ask the same question as before. “Um, yeah sure. Sorry about the mess. I think I lost some student papers.” He swallows, scratching the back of his head, as he steps to the side to let you in. He takes a deep breath before closing the door behind him, avoiding all the intrigued stares looking into his office in hopes to get a peak of the situation to add on to their fabricated stories.

“Hey Bunny, I was going to stop by your office to set up your new desktop in an hour.” Jungkook says, his eyes don’t leave the wide screen in front of him to know that you’re absolutely confused.

“I don’t have a new computer, Kook.” You say, walking up to Namjoon’s desk and setting your laptop in front of it.

Before Jungkook can answer and add onto your suspicions. Namjoon speaks up from behind you. “I bought you a new one when I bought mine. They both came in today so I asked Kook to come set them up since he’s the computer genius.”

You whip your head to face him, making him cringe. He hates that you look equally as shocked and annoyed at him. Truth be told he wasn’t thinking when he placed the order. He saw a good deal and took it. Thought that it would be a nice welcoming gift for you. Plus, speaking from experience, HYBE U’s faculty computers were so old that they never backed up anything. He’s lost so many hours of research in the years that he’s worked here.

“You didn’t have to do that Namjoon.” You sigh, shaking your head and making your way to one of his guest chairs. “But we can talk about that later because now that the two of you are here. We have something to discuss.”

This catches both of their attention. Namjoon stops looking through the old files in his filing cabinet, and Jungkook pauses his typing, indicating that you have their full undivided attention.

“Namjoon walked out of his lecture this morning. So, people are assuming the worst of you. And I’m guessing because someone saw Jungkook they’re also saying that I’m in some sort of love triangle with the two of you. Not to mention I am now a gold digger.” You let out a frustrated sigh, looking between the two of them. They look unfazed and it triggers something in you.

“My favorite one is the one where Namjoon is an alcoholic slash drug addict, slash mafia member.” Jungkook shrugs before returning to his typing, humming underneath his breath as he pulls up windows on windows of numbers and letters you can’t begin to understand.

You roll your eyes crossing your arms in front of you. “Don’t listen to them, they have nothing better to do than to assume.” Namjoon says, closing the filing cabinet and then moving on to the stacks of papers on his office floor. He sits down crossed legged, furrowing his brows as he begins to sort through them.

You scoff, “I understand that this is something that you are used to, but I’m not. My life was peaceful, rumor free before I got involved with you again. Now, I’m a gold digger, and a heartbreaker, and a mafia leaders wife.”

Namjoon slams the stack of papers he had been holding down on his carpeted floor. He’s been on edge since your big reveal this morning. He understands your frustration, but what is he supposed to do? Go out into the lobby and tell everyone that the real reason why the two of you are arguing is because ten years ago he confessed that he was in love with you and doesn’t remember a thing. And that the reason why things don’t make sense in your relationship is because your engagement isn’t real, and that the two of you are only together for personal and financial gain. Truthfully, it will only fuel the rumors more. And from personal experience, he’s learned to ignore them because eventually they’ll die down.

“There’s nothing we can do, but ignore them. They’re baseless and people will forget about them by tomorrow.” He pleas, running a stressed hand through his hair. He really needs to find those student papers. He didn’t realize they were missing until he came back from his lecture this morning. This stress is only adding onto the stress of the missing memories from ten years ago. He wants the whole world to hide away until he can figure shit out for himself.

“Maybe if the two of you stopped fighting people will stop making up rumors. I heard the two of you came to work in separate cars.” Jungkook suggests with a shrug. It only adds to your annoyance.

“There’s a reason for that.” You grumble.

“I’m sure there is but you guys are doing such a shitty job at this whole engagement thing. So, you better sort your shit out before it somehow reaches mom and dad.”

You roll your eyes and move to sit on the floor in front of Namjoon. Your heart aches to see the stress lines form all across his forehead. You wish you had been a bit nicer to him this morning, but the adrenaline from your reveal was doing most of the talking. If what he claims to be true. That he doesn’t remember anything then your heart aches for him. You know what it’s like to have pieces of your memories go missing. You’ve been where he has been before, and it takes a lot of brain power and willpower to not give up.

“Do you need help?” You whisper, crossing your legs in front of you. Namjoon lifts his head, nodding at your question before moving onto the next stack of papers. He’s never been this careless before. He’s always been so meticulous with his work and again if the university’s online submission system wasn’t so faulty he wouldn’t be having this problem.

“Do you remember the last time you had them?”

Namjoon shakes his head, running a hand down his face. “They turned them in last week, I swear they were on my desk, and I don’t remember taking them anywhere.”

You nod, starting to sort through another stack of papers. You have no idea what you’re supposed to be looking for. The fault of essays is that they’re all formatted the same way thanks to university guidelines. But you guess giving him the illusion that he has an extra pair of hands and eyes helping him makes him feel more calm.

“What day last week?”

“Thursday.”

A lightbulb goes off in your head. “Joon, didn't you come to my office right after your lecture on Thursday. I think you might’ve left them there. I haven’t been to my office yet, so I don’t know but we can check.”

Namjoon feels like a wave of relief has passed through him. He’s up instantly and full of hope as he extends his hand for you to take. “I hope you’re right, I really need to start grading them before their final papers come in.” He says, while you take his hand and you let him pull you up.

“Looks like we’re going on a family field trip through a sea of gossip.” Jungkook says from behind the two of you. “I’m done setting up your computer, I need to get to yours Bun, Joon and I have a gym session in an hour.” He says looking down at his smart watch, swiping through the tiny screen.

It makes you shudder at how official he looks. You’ve never seen him so calculated and organized before.

“You’re going to the gym?” You tilt your head as Namjoon interlaces his fingers with yours and opens the door to his office. You don’t question it, knowing it’s probably because it will put a rest to the rumors once and for all. It makes you tingle a little bit even though you know it’s all for show.

Namjoon nods as he steps out with you. “I forgot to tell you, but I can drop you off at home and then pick you up to go to the grocery store.”

You shake your head, following his lead as he moves towards your office with ease. Avoiding all the whispers and glares going on around you. “That’d be a waste of time and gas. I can just go with you to the gym and then we can go from there.”

“I don’t want you to get bored.” He’s sincere about it. He knows you’re not a fan of gyms ever since you were young. He knows you hate the smell of them and the testosterone that gets released into the air by all the men that are trying to compete with one another. Seokjin’s gym is no different.

You shrug, and open the door to your office. “I’ll just run on the treadmill and then bother Seokjin until he kicks me out.” You grin, stepping in. He follows behind you along with Jungkook who has a shit eating grin on his face.

Jungkook closes the door behind him. “Good job team, that’s more like it. You two make a very good and fake loving couple. I just saw all the jealous glares following the two of you. I can assure that all those rumors bothering you today will be forgotten by the time we all leave. Or worse, considering I heard some gasps and the accusation of us being a throuple thrown out there. ” He shrugs and lifts his hands up for a high-five, which the two of you ignore, with a roll of your eyes.

“People need to learn how to whisper.” You shake your head in disbelief before untangling your fingers from Namjoon’s. You spot the box of your new desktop on one of your guest chairs, and you guess it had been delivered to your office by the mail department while you were in class. As annoyed as you are about Namjoon spending his money on you. You’re still grateful he even thought of you in the first place.

Before you can admit defeat and give him your thanks, Namjoon is making a beeline to your empty bookshelf. A stack of papers, neatly placed on one of the shelves. He picks them up and lets out a sigh of relief. He must’ve placed them there while he was waiting for you last Thursday. It’s no wonder you hadn’t really spotted them because they weren’t in your line of sight.

“Found them?” You ask, stepping to the side as Jungkook soundlessly moves behind you to get to your desk.

“Yes, fuck, thank you for helping me.” Namjoon says. “Is it okay if I go back to my office to start grading them?” His question throws you off guard. Why would he need your permission? You nod, and he rushes out a quick thanks before he’s disappearing again, leaving you behind with Jungkook.

For a few minutes there’s an air of silence, apart from Jungkook’s angry mumbles as he assesses the mess of cables. Until he speaks up from under your desk. “You know, the rumors bothered him more than he let on.”

You turn around quickly and walk to where he is kneeling. “What do you mean?”

“Before you came in, he was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf and mumbling about how everyone was stupid for assuming things.” He shrugs, “I think he didn’t want you to worry so much, which is why he told you to ignore them.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you sit down on the floor beside him, watching as he untangles and unplugs cables. “Did you hear the one about him selling his left kidney to the black market?”

Jungkook laughs, looking at you from over his shoulder. “It was so specific, I honestly couldn’t ignore it. I mean why not the right one?”

You laugh, taking the cable he tosses at you.

Namjoon can feel the droplets of sweat roll down the sides of his face. He hates sweating. Scratch that he hates that his body naturally runs hot, resulting in sweating even when standing still, It gets worse during the summer months. Though, in this instance he isn’t just standing. He’s in an intense sparring match with Jungkook.

After leaving your office. He managed to tidy up and grade at least three papers. The hour was up before he knew it and he was driving the three of you to Seokjin’s gym. The session started off simple, but then he saw that you had changed into gym clothes and for some reason his brain short circuited. He found himself pushing himself more when you looked in his direction and trying his best to get your attention whenever it wasn’t on him.

He doesn’t necessarily understand where this animalistic desire to hunt came from. He just knows that he probably looks like those annoying jocks with an inflated ego. And now you’re behind the gym’s front desk, laughing at something the owner is saying. His pit bubbles up with something undesirable and his hits only get stronger.

He wants your attention.

“Want to tell me why the two of you fought this morning?” Jungkook says out of breath, his words muffled from the navy mouth guard. He steps a few feet away from his brother, hands up protecting his face.

Namjoon understands every word, and he knows his brother had been dying to ask since he stepped into his office earlier that day.

“It’s nothing.” Namjoon shrugs, moving in to land a punch on his shoulder only for it to be blocked by the younger. Sometimes, Namjoon really hates sparring with Jungkook. He can’t begin to understand how the younger’s reflexes are so fast. It’s like he can predict where he is going to hit before Namjoon even thinks about it. He prefers Seokjin, but he’s chatting you up behind the counter. This thought has him charging forward again and Jungkook blocks it again.

Fuck, why is he so good at everything?

Jungkook, steps forward landing a punch to the side of Namjoon’s ribs, and he lets out a huff of pain. “It didn’t seem like nothing, it wasn’t like those petty fights the two of you have been having. It's more right?” He side steps, dodging Namjoon’s hit, and he lets out another frustrated groan. “You’re too slow.” The younger chuckles.

“Maybe you’re just freakishly fast, idiot.” He rolls his eyes, before taking a step back. He lets out a big sigh shaking his head. Wordlessly letting his brother know that he needs a moment. If this was a different day Namjoon could go hours without stopping. But every now and then his body asks for a break.

Jungkook nods before removing one of his gloves and mouth guard. “Are you going to tell me or will I have to live in the dark forever.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“So, I can help of course.” Jungkook replies with a hint of arrogance, a smirk making its way onto his face.

Namjoon sighs as he sits down against the wall, taking off his gloves and setting them to the side. Jungkook joins him, bringing his knees up to his chest, patiently waiting for his brother to answer.

Sometimes it’s funny how things work. Who would’ve thought that the two brother’s from different mother’s would one day grow to depend on each other so much. Despite Jungkook being younger than him, he somehow always had helpful advice.

“Apparently told her that I loved her the same night I told her I could never love her.” He whispers, picking at the gauze on his hands. He ignores Jungkook’s shock, it’s enough to know that he didn’t know and that truly the only one who knew was you. Before he can let his brother get a word in he continues to talk. “I don’t remember that, I don’t remember any of it and it’s scaring me.” He admits, bringing his knees up to his chest.

“What do you mean you don’t remember that. It seems like a pretty big thing to just forget.” Jungkook offers just as equally as confused as him.

“Apparently you called her asking about my whereabouts because my one night stand wouldn’t leave.” Namjoon adds and it triggers a memory Jungkook forgot he had. He does remember being furious at his older brother. Not only because earlier that night you had called him to tell him everything. It only added to his anger when he found a strange woman on his couch.

“How do you not remember that?” Jungkook questions again, sitting up straighter. He remembers the anger he felt then. He remembers picking up his brother at your parents house. And he remembers how drunk Namjoon had been, which only made matters worse because he was uncontrollable and winning like a baby as he hauled him into their shared car. He remembers your tear stained face, and your hardened features. He remembers being afraid of never seeing you again because of his brother and his mistakes. He also remembers everything that spiraled out of control after that night. All the nights you were physically and emotionally in pain. He remembers it so vividly, that he’s so annoyed that his brother doesn’t.

Was that moment so insignificant that he was able to forget it in seconds?

Namjoon sighs, closing his eyes. “I swear on mom and dad’s life, on my career, on my fucking life Kook that I don’t remember anything after I left her house the first time. I don’t remember ever getting home from the bar or bringing somebody home.” There is a mess of emotions going on inside of him, but the main one is fear.

Jungkook turns his head to face his brother. He can see the inner turmoil written all over his face, as much as he felt anger back then. He can’t help but feel a little guilty. What if after all these years his anger was misplaced?

“What are you implying?” Jungkook whispers.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I’ve gone through so many scenarios in my head.” He sets his head on top of his arms resting on his knees. The only thing that he can come up with that makes sense is the one thing he wants to ignore. “Maybe I was drugged.” He whispers. In seconds Jungkook’s arms are around him and he’s bringing him closer. He didn’t know that one day he would’ve had to go through this again, let alone with his brother.

He feels angry again, this time at himself for not thinking twice about everything, and to the people who keep hurting the ones he loves. “I’m sorry Joon, I’m sorry for being such an ass to you. I should’ve–”

“You couldn’t have done anything Kook. You don’t normally think about things like this happening to men, let alone people who look like me. I also don’t know if that’s entirely true.”

“It doesn’t matter Joon, someone still took advantage of you.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe that’s just me making shit up in my head to understand why I can’t remember the second half of events that night.” Namjoon sighs, sitting up straight and unwraps the gauze around his knuckles. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”

Jungkook sighs, shaking his head. “Joon, one day you’re going to realize that you don’t have to fight all of your battles on your own. Whatever happened that night, whatever made you lose your memories that night. You don’t have to go through that alone. You don’t have to put yourself through that agony. You have people around you that will always be there for you.” He says, spotting you laughing at something Seokjin was saying, your short ponytail bouncing while you shake. It took so long for you to smile and laugh like that, and he never wants that smile to disappear again. “You don’t have to make up excuses or say it’s not a big deal. If you believe that’s what happened to you, knowing yourself, then that’s what happened. It might be too late to go back to that time and fix our wrongs, but we can start fresh from this moment on. I know will understand and want that too.” Jungkook finishes, nodding in your direction.

Namjoon follows his younger brother's gaze. He catches you staring at them. At him. The second your eyes meet, you send him a smile, ignoring whatever nonsense Seokjin is spewing at you. It’s a silent conversation, only the two of you understand. He knows that even though things from this morning still need to be resolved, that Jungkook is right.

“When did you get so wise?” Namjoon looks over at him.

Jungkook, sits up taller, puffing his chest out, out of pride from the subtle praise. He flexes his arms in front of him before responding. “Mom says it’s because this isn’t my first life.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes before standing up, grabbing his equipment with him and extends a hand for him to take. “Whatever, I’m going to have to cut our session short.” He pulls the doe-eyed man up with ease, before glancing over his shoulder where you’re now organizing the gym’s merchandise. No doubt that you have somehow been recruited by the owner himself to do the thing he finds most annoying. He smiles wide, looks at his suspecting brother.

“I have to go grocery shopping”

As gross as it sounds, Namjoon didn’t bother changing out of his gym clothes. He was in such a hurry that all he did was wet his hair in the sink and wipe the sweat from his face. He acknowledges that he might’ve smelled a little too much like a man, but he wouldn’t know because you haven’t made a face or brought it up. You’re simply scanning the aisles, and referring to your phone while he pushes the cart next to you.

“What meals do you want to have this week?” You ask, as you stop walking out of curiosity. He had been so hyper focused on the way that he might’ve smelled that he forgot to ask you that on the car ride over. Now, he is drawing a blank. He’s sure he looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Pasta?” He tilts his head to the side, making you laugh. You should’ve known the only thing he’s really confident in making is pasta. When he told you that Seokjin had been teaching him how to cook, you expected more knowledge of different meals. Not more knowledge on different kinds of pasta.

“How about I decide and you just continue to help me push the cart.” You suggest, giving his shoulder a pat and then start walking again. He forgot the other reason he had been so distracted, until now. You also hadn’t changed from your workout clothes. Not that it mattered because you hadn’t actually worked out. Apart from the thirty minutes on the treadmill before getting distracted by Seokjin, and being roped into odd jobs around the gym.

There should be no reason why your ass looks as good as it did in those wine colored leggings. Or why they somehow hugged your waist perfectly. And why is your black shirt so tight? He feels troubled.

“I’m thinking that we can make a bunch of power bowls for lunch this week, and then I don’t know what for dinner.” You say with a pensive hand on your chin.

“I can make mandu soup one night? Mom showed me how to make it a few years ago.” He adds on, looking at the frozen packs of different types of dumplings. Personally, his favorite ones are the kimchi ones. “But Seokjin also wants me to start fasting, so maybe I can just make you dinner.” He ends, looking over to his side where you’ve taken it upon yourself to open one of the freezer doors. He smiles when you shudder at the sudden cool breeze hitting your arms.

“I can just fast with you.” You shrug, showing him the mixed bag of dumplings. He nods in approval and you hum while setting it down in the cart. He watches as you pull your phone out of the band of your leggings, and check something off from the list on your phone.

Namjoon starts to push the cart again once you step to the side. He feels you come beside him, and from the corner of his eye he sees you place your hand on the cart handle. A little too close to his. “You don’t need to fast with me,” he stops for a second to gather his thoughts. He’s finally beginning to learn that with you he needs to do that before he starts to spew out nonsense. “I don’t want you to fast with me. You don’t need to and it helps me if I make food for you.” He shrugs, looking ahead because he’s positive that he catches the little warmth that hides behind your indifferent stare; he will melt in this frozen aisle of the grocery store.

“Fine, I’ll do a baby fast after I eat dinner, no more midnight snacks and cookies, and icecream.” You decide, and he can’t argue with that because once you have your mind set on something, he knows he won’t be able to change it.

“We can have cookies and ice cream on the weekend.” He pouts, while you open another freezer door and take out two bags, one of frozen pieces of korean pumpkin, and another of frozen pieces of sweet potato. He makes a face, knowing they’re his least favorite but now he understands why you suggested making power bowls for lunch this entire week.

Seokjin must’ve gotten into your head and your grocery list.

He sees you pause before setting the bags into the cart. The wheels visibly turn in your head and you look at him brightly. “Can we make a pit stop before going home?”

Home.

To Namjoon the word feels so foreign and familiar coming from your mouth. If he’s being honest he’s never pictured building a home with anyone in his life. So, why did it feel so right when you said it? He must be trippin. He must be still running on the endorphins of his workout. He must still be thinking about the past Namjoon who confessed without knowledge. He must still be trying to justify his actions to find an answer, because there’s still a little part of him that doesn’t believe he ever said he was in love.

In his thirty years of life he’s never been in love. He can’t begin to explain what love feels like because he doesn’t think he’s ever experienced it. Yet, there’s the part of him that is yelling at him, annoyed for ignoring all the signs that were already there. Ever since this morning he’s been in a constant battle with himself. Teetering over the edge of letting himself feel again and keeping all of his feelings locked up like a constipated kid who had too much chocolate before dinner.

He can’t deny that it will just be easier if he lets go, but he wasn’t lying when he told Jungkook he was scared. Scared that something had been taken from him and he didn’t know about it for years. Why must life and love be so complicated? Why couldn’t you have one without the other? He’s always been a simple man. A simple university professor for the later half of his life. And here he was contemplating his life altogether like he was going through the midlife crisis he had when he was twenty five again.

It’s all so tiring, but he supposes this is karma for dedicating his life to philosophy. He overthinks everything and runs himself in circles looking for answers only to end up with more questions.

Sigh.

Namjoon realizes he didn’t answer your question, when you shrug and keep walking. He has to catch up to you with only a few steps before he’s back next to you. Your hand comes up to the handle with practice and you look up at him. The same question burning behind your curious stare.

“Yes, where do you want to go?”

You smile brightly, clapping your hands in front of you. “There’s a really small fruit stand by the apartment, the ahjussi there sells the best sweet potatoes in the world.” You explain with such joy that he can’t help but feel excited as well. “I want to eat only that for dinner. I’ve really been craving it for weeks now. Jungkook used to bring me some whenever he came over after visiting you.”

Namjoon’s mouth opens in understanding and he nods. “Well, you can’t just have that for dinner. You need to eat something else.” He tilts his head and begins to push the grocery cart again.

You pout letting out a whine. “But I literally don’t want anything else except for that. I’ll even eat all three. He always gives an extra one. So, I’ll eat all four.” You follow behind him, as he lets out a chuckle.

“I know you well enough to know that if you do end up eating all four you’ll complain about your stomach hurting for the rest of the night. I’ll make you some tteokbokki.” He offers, pulling open a freezer door and taking out frozen bags of rice cakes and fish cakes.

You wave your hands in front of him. “We are totally derailing from our grocery list.”

“That’s what happens when we come to the store hungry and without a plan.” Namjoon overrides your arms and puts the bags into the cart basket.

You huff. “I did have a plan.”

“The one Seokjin gave you is not a plan but more like a work in progress.” Namjoon counteracts before moving. “Come on, We still need to get vegetables, fruits and some sort of protein. Unless you want to eat a whole weeks worth of frozen food.” He lifts an eyebrow almost as if he’s challenging you.

You roll your eyes, hitting his back lightly. “Next time, I’m going to make the best grocery plan in the world so that you won’t be able to infiltrate it.” You state before walking in front of him, your face furrowed in determination.

It's at this moment, in which Namjoon realizes that maybe letting go wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He’s already been halfway there since the infamous kiss and his talk with Jungkook. He might as well just go in head first fearlessly. Something tells him that at the end of the day it will be worth it.

So, he laughs and follows you, like it’s second nature.

In the end, Namjoon didn’t start his fast. In fact he was so hungry that he practically begged for you to split the sweet potatoes with him. He knows you won’t finish all four and they smelled so sweet that it made his mouth water.

Now, you’re both sitting in front of his coffee table, picking at the almost empty pot of rice cakes. Namjoon had practically scraped it clean with the left over rice he had fished out of the fridge. There’s an almost empty bottle of wine in between the two of you as you silently digest your meal.

“I think we should talk.” You look over at him bringing your knees up to your chest, hugging them. You’ve already showered and changed out of your workout clothes sporting an old t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Your hair is still slightly wet, curling at the ends due to the humidity because Namjoon refuses to turn on the aircon until he’s about to fall asleep to conserve electricity.

Namjoon hums, setting down his chopsticks on a napkin, he turns his body to face you, signaling that he agrees with a nod of his head.

“Can I start?” Namjoon tilts his head in question, setting down his chopsticks on the holder in front of him. You weren’t expecting for him to want to go first, especially because he always hated confrontation. He always hated admitting fault, something the two of you have in common. But for some reason it always came easy when it was just the two of you.

You nod your head as a signal for him to continue talking. He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry for telling you all those things back then. I regretted it the moment they came out of my mouth. I wanted to apologize but I was too much of a coward and I ran away.” He confesses in one breath, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Your heart feels like it's been pierced by a thousand arrows. Each one making the dent deeper. This was the apology you had longed for for years. Not the handwritten one he sent with Jungkook. You had dreamed about it and wondered if you would have ever given him a second chance if he simply just looked you in your eyes and apologized. Yet, the logical part of you knew better. It knew that even if the apology came in any sort of form, you wouldn’t accept it.

The damage was done and you were already spiraling into your black hole with no way out. Until that one silver lining after the unfortunate incident in which you called Jungkook sobbing to pick you up from the stranger's house.

The apology you ever so wanted to hear out loud, meant nothing. Though, that didn't mean you didn’t appreciate it. It was just a little too late.

“I can’t accept your apology Namjoon.” You start, holding your hand up to stop him from speaking up, his mouth hangs open. “But thank you. It took so many years for me to let it go and accept that you will never be in my life again.” You chuckle. “It’s ironic because here we are.” You signal to your surroundings. “I won’t lie you hurt me so much but I ended up hurting myself more. I took your words to heart and spent countless nights thinking I was unlovable but never truly believing it until someone showed me I was only a disposable body to them.” You take a deep breath, closing your eyes.

Namjoon lets out a shaky breath. “Y-You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He whispers, unsure if he can give you a hug because things are starting to make sense.

You shake your head. “It’s okay, I can talk about it now.” You whisper, your voice faltering in the end. You clear it and continue. “I went out with some people I thought were my friends. The night started out fine, we went for dinner and then decided to hit some clubs. By the third club, I was so drunk that I only remember pieces of it, but I remember enough. I approached him, I made out with him. He told me he and his friends lived outside of the city and if I wanted to come over. I said yes. My friends saw us leaving and they tried to stop me but then pushed me to go, so I did.” You tighten your hold around your arms a little more. “Every time I think about that night. I only remember all the times I could’ve avoided the outcome. We didn’t leave right away. We waited for his friends on some stairs and there was this ajumma who kept telling me not to go, to get away from him. And I didn’t, I stayed. I got in the car, I went into the apartment. I sat on his couch. I then laid in his bed. One of his friends came into the room and he asked me if I was okay and that if I wasn’t he would call me a taxi to go back home, but I declined. That was my last out and I decided to stay.” You rest your chin against your knees, blinking back tears. Though, you’ve partially healed from this moment. It still sits fresh in your mind. You don’t remember his face or his name but there are nights in which your head isn’t screwed on right and you remember the acid burn of his touch.

“It didn’t happen right away, but when it did I first begged him to stop because he wasn’t wearing protection. He kept going and going, while I yelled. He finally stopped when he was pleased and my stomach was stained with him. He got up, went to the bathroom, came back and fell asleep. I laid there paralyzed, feeling the naive girl in me break with every breath that I took. I didn’t know what to do. I somehow convinced myself that it was okay, and I didn’t call your brother until the following morning. I don’t really remember if I slept or not. I don’t remember getting up and getting dressed. All I remember is waking up in your brother's bed with him, Jimin and Tae sleeping on the ground.” You finish, running your thumb underneath your eyes to wipe away the remaining tears.

It’s amazing how every time you talk about it, it always feels like you can start anew. Like you’re still subconsciously carrying that weight and it only gets lighter when you let it out. Still, there’s some part of you that is terrified to look over at Namjoon. You aren’t sure if you should’ve said anything or if it was too soon.

What you don’t expect him to say is, “Can I give you a hug?” Because despite his heart being able to hold different kinds of what he thinks could be love. Affection and comfort is not his strong suit. So, you nod and melt into his arms when they circle around your shoulders gently. It feels ghostly. Like they’re not really there because he’s afraid you’ll break. But he’s always been full of surprises and lately as much as you hate to admit it he’s been surprising you a lot. Both in good and bad ways.

He rests his cheek on top of your head and closes his eyes, sniffling. He started crying eons ago. His eyes were already watering from the start and yet he still has nothing to say. “I’m sorry, you were never unlovable. I shouldn’t have said that.” He whispers, “You were the most precious person in my life at the time and I was afraid of losing you, but I guess I did so anyway. I hate that I wasn’t there for you, and I know that if I hadn’t said what I said, you wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place.” He whispers into your hair, finally letting go of his fear and hugging you tightly.

“It’s not your fault Joon.”

“And it’s not yours either.” He counteracts, twinkling his fingertips down your arm, his hand encases around yours, spreading your palm to fit his fingers in between the spaces of your own. “I’m sorry for kissing you the other night and being such an asshole about it after. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.” You grin, sniffling.

Namjoon sighs, before finally intertwining his fingers with yours. I’m sorry for telling you that I loved you and then not remembering it. But please believe me when I tell you that I didn’t sleep with anyone that night I really don't remember ever bringing somebody home. I don’t know what happened, if I was drugged or if I really drank to the point of blacking out, but I really don’t remember.” He says almost begging towards the end. You hold his hand tighter and nod your head in acknowledgment.

The strings of your heart start being plugged like the strings of a guitar that is out of tune. You hope with everything in your being that nothing like what happened to you happened to him, because you know what it feels like. You know what it feels like to lose that part of you and spend years looking for it. Only to realize that it’s gone and never coming back. Only to realize that the one thing you can do is let go and build it up again piece by piece. This time stronger.

“I’m sorry, Joon, I don’t know if we will ever know but I can be there for you if you ever do end up remembering something.” You hold him tighter and he does the same with you. You stay like that basking in the silence that’s grown to be a sort of comfort in the past few hours. You forget about all of the fights and snarky comments. Except for the one prying question you’ve had lingering in the back of your mind.

“Can I ask you something?” You tilt your head to the side, his face is so close to yours that you can still smell the wine and kimchi lingering in his breath.

“Anything.” He grins, moving his head a little up to give himself a little more view of your eyes. They’re twinkling like the midnight skies the two of you used to wish the city had. He never found the stars with the amount of light pollution from all the skyscrapers, but he always found them in your eyes.

His heart jumps.

“Did you really mean it that night?” You begin, “That you loved me.” You whisper the last part so low that he’s thankful the house is silent because otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

Namjoon is at a crossroads. He’s unsure of what to say or what the correct answer should be. Yet, he doesn’t want to lie, and remembers the promise he made tonight with Jungkook sitting by his side.

Let go.

“I loved you the minute we sat in that coffee shop, mourning over our unfortunate break ups while sharing that stupid cake.”

For the second time since entering each other's life, both of you give in. Instead of him being the one to move first. It’s you.

You hesitate, until he nods in approval and finally you kiss him.

[glossdebut]

Thoughts on how the BTS members respond to finding out their partner (committed or not) is pregnant?

And love your writing!

thank you!!! i had to let this one marinate a little bit but i did my best lol

seokjin: oh, the dad jokes are already out in full force. as are the jokes about how your baby is going to have amazing genetics thanks to him. has no idea how he’s going to manage being a FATHER, but that’s Later Seokjin’s problem. for now, he’s just excited to call everybody he knows and brag that he’s going to be a dad to the most beautiful baby that will ever exist

namjoon: excited. terrified. happy. confused. he’s feeling all of it, and deeply. there’s also a fair amount of crying. already anxious about the ethics of procreating in this day and age, and what kind of parenting style is going to fuck this baby up the least. looking up the best books to buy on pregnancy and parenting so he can get as many opinions as possible. he’s getting ahead of himself, as usual, but luckily he has you to remind him that you both have plenty of time to figure everything out

yoongi: mr. preparedness. he’s appropriately excited but as soon as you tell him you swear you see his eyes glaze over just a little because his ass is already crunching numbers, figuring out what kind of baby-proofing he needs to do, what needs to be cut out of your diet, etc. also orders a bunch of books for both of you to read pretty much right after you tell him. if you didn’t know him, you might be a little disappointed in how Rational and Calm his response is. but you know that doing all of this research and making sure you’re both prepared for everything is just how he shows his love

hoseok: look, i know i said you’re not getting a ring out of this man, but it’s very possible a BABY would change things—in a slow burn kind of way. consistent situationship hoseok is understandably scared shitless when you tell him. there is a good amount of freaking out on his part, because you’re not even in a RELATIONSHIP—but it’s not like he’s going to be a deadbeat dad. instead he’s going to be the most sick ass co-parent to ever walk the earth. your baby will be DRIPPED OUT from birth, and hoseok is going to show up for everything he can even with his busy schedule. and maybe the forced proximity helps move things along between the two of you

jimin: there are tears. he would be very worried that he’s not ready to be a parent, and he’d voice those fears to you right off the bat because he knows it’s not something he should hold in. but once the two of you talk through it, he’s OVER THE MOON about the whole thing. he’s a very nurturing person naturally, so i think he’d take great care of you while you’re pregnant, and of the baby after it’s born. he had nothing to worry about!!

taehyung: overjooooyed. takes you to the store to find sparkling cider/SOMETHING non-alcoholic and appropriately bubbly for you to toast with, because this is news worth toasting to. already planning your very tasteful pregnancy announcement photoshoot. they will be black and white, a little weird, but beautiful

jungkook: also cries. like, before you even get the words out. also, instantly gets you off your feet like you’re in your third trimester or something because you’re NOT allowed to lift a finger for the next nine months. extremely confident that your baby is going to be the cutest ever, screw seokjin’s baby, seokjin’s baby is stupid looking

[raplinesmoon]

Après Moi, Le Deluge (JHS x F!Reader)

pairing: Hoseok x afab!reader genres/au/rating: angst, smut, some fluff, mafia au, sort of arranged marriage au, exes au, 18+ summary: It was one night. One night where Hoseok sought refuge from the storm outside, from the life he led, from the past that haunted him. And where else does fate lead him but back into your arms?

word count: 8.2k

warnings: the mafia, mentions minor character death, cursing, smoking, alcohol use, use of weapons, strained relationships with parents, mental health issues, mentions threats against people Hoseok cares about, brief, non-graphic depiction of blood and injuries, breakups, makeups, a cameo by one Xu Minghao, Hoseok and OC are both very closed off and bad at communicating, Hoseok is lowkey an asshole for most of this, happy-ish ending, smut warnings: making out, fingering (fem receiving), nipple play, unprotected sex, marking, teeny bit of cockwarming

a/n: Hello it is me, profusely apologising because there is no reason this should have taken this long to write, other than I had the worst case of writer's block ever, but I missed Hoseok and I needed to see this through. This fic is set in the same universe as Doom Boy, my Namjoon mafia fic! You don't necessarily have to read Doom Boy to read this, but it may help some of the moments mentioned here make sense! The title is a reference to a famous saying by King Louis XV of France, or if you're me, season 1 episode 11 of The Originals. I hope you all enjoy &lt;3

listen to the playlist here!

The rain slams down on the pavement, rendering the soles of Hoseok’s shoes even more sodden than they’d previously been. A cold, sticky feeling settles across his spine, and he heaves for breath, wishing he could just stop and take a break. But he can’t. He has to keep moving. Resisting the urge to shiver and warm himself up, he rounds the corner.

The day had started off normal enough. Hoseok had been assigned patrol duty for the day by Namjoon, a task he was more than familiar with. After the collapse of the Kim empire and his father’s death, Namjoon had returned to clean up the family business. And he was doing a damn good job at it, training the younger ones like Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook in how to run a business.

But there was more to this than a business, and Namjoon knew that well enough. Someone had to be around to air out the dirty laundry, to clean up the streets. And who better for the job than Hoseok? 

He was used to it anyway, more comfortable around knives and guns than he’d ever been around people who weren’t Namjoon, Yoongi, or Seokjin. It was partly the reason he’d been sent out tonight, to monitor the slimy activities that took place under the cover of night. 

Yet sometimes, the downpour got the best of Hoseok. He hadn’t been expecting the Choi cronies to spot him, much less for them to be armed. Luckily they were as thick-skulled as Hoseok expected them to be, and he’d been able to craft a quick escape. For the time being.

But it wouldn’t last for long. Hoseok knew the men would be on his tail all night, and as much as he wanted to call for backup, he didn’t feel like bothering Namjoon, Yoongi, or their families, at this time of night. He wouldn’t have had a problem bothering Seokjin, but that fucker had run the moment he’d shot up Namjoon’s father. 

Looking around, he falters. The buildings around him loom ominously, stretching much taller than he’s used to, the lights from the highest floors creating artificial stars against the cloudy backdrop of the sky. Hoseok gathers that he must be in the swanky part of town. He scoffs, knowing from personal experience the rich were no better than the mobs and gangs they pretended to look down upon, licking at their bootstraps whenever the necessity arose.

Still, he decides it’s better to take cover. He spots the sleeping security guard from outside one of the buildings, and slips in, shaking the raindrops from his hair. Making his way to the elevators at the end of the lobby, his mind ran with plans of how he’d clean up the mess with the Choi men in a way that Namjoon would approve of. 

Which is why he misses the other person entering the elevator at the same time as him, instead collapsing against the railing and letting out a loud sigh, rubbing at his eyes.

“H-Hoseok?” the voice that calls out to him is quiet, barely above a whisper. But its familiarity sends a chill down Hoseok’s spine. It’s a voice he thought he’d never hear again.

His eyes open slowly, and he sees his shocked reflection mirrored in the ones directly across from him, eyes that he’d never been able to forget. The way they look at him now is the same way they’d been the last time he saw you, on a similarly cloudy day.

The eyes of his former fiancée.

The doors of the elevator screech shut, the sound doing nothing to drown out the pounding of your heart. The soft tiny plops of raindrops echo on the grey floor, falling from Hoseok’s hair as he freezes at the sound of your voice.

You suck in a breath, lungs desperately searching for air, unable to squeak out anything beyond his name. Brows furrowing, you check him for any signs of injury, relieved when you find nothing but his blank eyes blinking back at you. You didn’t have to ask him where he’d been tonight. Both of you already knew.

It infuriates you that even after everything, after all this time, he still manages to have this effect on you. You hate how you can’t take your eyes off the lean curve of his neck, or the tiny mole above his heart-shaped smile.

A chill runs down your spine, despite having never stepped foot out in the rain. 

“Why are you…” your throat feels heavy, struggling to get the words out, to ask him why he ended up here of all places. Especially when you made it clear you never wanted to see him again after the last time.

“Choi’s men were tailing me, I had to get them off my back,” he barks, immediately regretting his harsh tone when he looks into your weary eyes, on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry,” he adds on, more gently this time. “If I’d have known, I would never…”

Never what? Never managed to infiltrate the one place you thought you could be free of him, from the past the two of you shared?

Your shoulders slump against the panel, and you realize you’d never pressed the button to go up, too consumed by his presence. Finally managing to muster up the focus, you turn away, hearing the elevator creak to life.

“You’re always sorry. How can I be sure that this time, you mean it?”

Hoseok is annoyed. First of all, this damn elevator is taking nearly too long to go anywhere, and he longs for escape from this metallic box that’s imprisoning you both. Second of all, your words cut at him, sharper than any knife and hotter than any bullet any of Choi’s men could have sent his way tonight.

As far as he remembers, you’d been the one to end it. You’d been the one to walk away from your arrangement.

He doesn’t know why he grits his teeth, biting down to combat the throbbing pain in his temples. You were supposed to be gone, your goodbye delivered in the same way the designer bags and packages piled up at your doorstep - neat, polished, shallow, the ties that had brought you together unraveling before they’d even had a chance to be joined properly. 

Unfinished business. That’s what you were. And Hoseok hated unfinished business. But somehow, he’d never managed to hate you. You’d never given him a fair chance.

. . .

Hoseok shrugged the wife beater over his head with a grunt, immediately turning around to see if he’d woken up his sleeping companion, but she remained unfazed, her soft snores echoing into the pillow. 

He lets his eyes linger over her body appreciatively one last time before he slips on his leather jacket and is out the door. For a brief moment, his hand twitches, yearning to reach into his pocket and call Namjoon for old times’ sake, detailing every last detail of his lascivious romp. The thought is abandoned immediately, Hoseok’s mood souring at the thought of his former best friend. Namjoon had no trouble leaving all of them behind, so why should he even bother? Instead, he reaches into his other pocket, his frenzied emotions finally calming down when he pulls out the lighter. Ducking under an awning, he checks his surroundings for anything suspicious before affirming that the coast is clear, lighting up and taking a drag. The smoke drifts away on the nighttime breeze, and Hoseok follows, roaming the city streets. 

It’s lonely at this hour, not another soul in sight, but Hoseok prefers it that way. Gone are the days when he and his friends would run through the city, stealing cars and honking horns at everyone for fun. Now, shit had hit the fan big time, and there was no room for fun anymore. With Namjoon gone, Hoseok, along with Seokjin and Yoongi, had been sucked into the tangled web of duties he’d left behind, each stepping up in their own way.

Holding a gun in his hands for the first time had been a sobering experience for Hoseok. It rattled him that if he pressed down on the trigger, so many things could change in a split second. He’d heard the higher-ups in the organization rave with glee about how much fun it was putting the city’s other families in line, Namjoon’s father at the head of them. And for a brief moment, Hoseok understood what it was that Namjoon had run away from. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissed off about it though. 

His lips turn up in a smile when he takes in the graffiti on the building in front of him, thinking back to his younger, more rebellious self, before faltering. Someone else was there. 

He wonders if you’re cold, the thin satin gown doing nothing to protect you from the chill, and he wants to laugh at the contrast between his well-worn leather jacket and the jewels dripping from your ears. They must cost a few thousands of dollars, money he’d never had in his pocket. His eyes scan around for someone, anyone – a boyfriend, or a husband maybe. But you’re alone.

Nobility has never been Hoseok’s forte - Namjoon and Seokjin had always been the womanizers, and poor Yoongi had been in love with the same woman for over ten years, but he clears his throat, prompting you to turn around, eyes widening at your company.

If he catches a glimpse of unshed tears in your eyes, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Kids these days, huh? They’ll do anything to cause a little chaos,” he quips, a sinking feeling building up in his chest when you don’t respond.

“Ma’am,” he grapples with whether he should ask for your name, “do you need me to walk you home?”

“Did you read it?” your voice is quieter than he expects, yet he draws closer, wanting to hear more of it. Coming to stand beside you, he takes in the captivating features of your face, made all the more alluring by the shadows cast across them.

Following your gaze, he looks at the mural on the wall. A giant wave, Hosukai-style, crashing into a set of words. “After me, the flood,” your voice whispers, and Hoseok feels a rush of emotion at the way you say it, his mind circling back to everything that had happened in the past few years - the dark cloud that had settled over all their lives with Namjoon leaving, the city’s underbelly coming to life, crawling out of the woodwork. 

“I have to go,” you interrupt him, heels clacking against the pavement, before Hoseok’s gaze turns sharply on you, the desperation in his eyes begging you not to go. Come sunrise, he’d be forced back into the same grim routine, but right now, it felt nice, standing here with you.

“Will you be okay getting home alone?” he asks, grappling for any chance to prolong the moment.

“My driver is around the corner,” you tell him. “Thank you for keeping me company, –”

“Hoseok,” he fills you in, his chest aching with the desire to ask for your own name, but you’re already gone.

. . .

Hoseok wakes up the next morning to the rattling of the blinds, the sunlight causing him to immediately shut his eyes and bite back a groan. There was only one person who’d have access to his apartment at this hour – and exploit it.

“Eomma?” he rasps, burrowing his head further into the sheets. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you forget Hoseok-ah? Hurry up and get dressed, everyone’s waiting! You have five minutes.”

Forget what? His mother’s fussing continues in the background as she leafs through his closet, no doubt trying to find him a suitable outfit amongst the many pairs of ripped denim and oversized shirts he prefers on a day-to-day basis. Hoseok wracks his brain, trying to remember what could have called for such an occasion, but comes up empty, his mother’s stern warning echoing in his ears. 

As per usual, if it had anything to do with the organization, he’d do best not to ignore it.

Slipping on the stark white shirt and tie she’d chosen, the fabric itches against his skin, and he rakes his fingers through his hair, attempting to comb the mess into something somewhat presentable. He’s sure there was little to be done about the bags under his eyes, and the faint smell of tobacco emanating from him, and hoped that whoever these important guests were, they wouldn’t catch onto his late-night activities from the previous day. 

Stumbling into the hallway, Hoseok hears the faint chatter of voices, his father’s bellowing laugh a stark contrast to his mother’s delicate titter, and is immediately confused. Conversations with the bosses of the organization weren’t usually so… enthusiastic. 

When he rounds the corner to his living room, he stops in his tracks. Sitting next to his mother and father is another older couple he doesn’t recognize. They reek of wealth that his family could never even imagine, he notes, the polished Italian leather of the man’s shoes and the older woman’s massive diamond ring speaking for themselves. But he could honestly care less. Because to their left side, sitting on his favorite armchair, is you. The woman from in front of the mural. You’re clad in a simple sundress today, but you still manage to be nothing short of breathtaking against the backdrop of the sun’s rays. 

“There you are, Hoseok!” his father beckons him over jovially, but Hoseok remains frozen. “This is Mr. and Mrs. ____, and their daughter ____.”

Hoseok’s turns his gaze to his father, watching him recoil at the sharpness present in his son’s expression, a thousand unspoken questions lingering on his lips as to why these people were here, what purpose they had in his home, his space.

“We’d like for the two of you to get to know each other,” your mother speaks up with a smile so wide, he’d assume it’d been plastered onto her face. 

“Why?” he finally manages to whistle out in between grit teeth, looking only at you. But you don’t meet his eyes. Instead, your gaze is looking out his window, at the city beyond, the same loneliness from last night ever present in your eyes. 

“Because,” his father continues uncertainly, fidgeting the glass of wine in his hands, “___ is going to be your wife.”

You can feel Hoseok’s eyes glaring into the back of your head as he follows you wordlessly down the hallway. Moments pass before you come to a stop outside your apartment, and you hear the faint stumble of Hoseok’s boots as he stops unexpectedly in his tracks. His warm breath fans against the back of your neck for a brief moment before he straightens with a grunt, and you resist the urge to shiver, despite having never stepped foot into the rain.

The lock clicks, and he follows you inside. You can hear him rustle behind you as he struggles to remove his coat and boots, but you look straight ahead, hoping the darkness can hide how your fingernails are digging into your palm. 

“I won’t stay long,” his low voice breaks the silence. “Just until the storm passes.”

“Please,” you manage to muster up your most polite sounding voice. “Have a seat. I can get you something, maybe some water, o-or a cup of tea…” 

You want to curse your voice for wobbling in his presence, hating the way he still affected you even after all this time apart. Your brain bades you to walk away instinctively, and so you pad into the kitchen, wanting to put distance in between you and Hoseok so he can’t hear the rapid fluttering of your heart. The noise pounds in your ears as you rattle around in the cupboards, cursing when you realized you’d forgotten to turn on the light. It seemed embarrassing to do it now, and so you reach aimlessly, looking for some coffee. 

The pot bubbles, and in mere moments, you’re clutching two steaming mugs, finding your way back onto the living room. Hoseok has settled himself onto your couch, taking extra care not to rest his soaked shirt against the back of it, instead hunched over and dangling an unlit cigarette from his fingertips.

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you’d be okay with me…” he gestures to it, twirling it around in his fingers. “I know you don’t like the smell.”

You’re unsure whether to be touched that he remembers, or uneasy at the way he says it so monotonously, as if you’d still judge him for something so mundane when so much else had happened in between you.

“Here,” you set down the coffee in front of him, taking the seat directly opposite. “It’ll help take the edge off.”

The warm liquid burns your throat as you rush to take a sip, and you nearly sputter trying to keep it down. Over the rim of your cup, Hoseok remains frozen, his own mug steaming and untouched. His dark eyes bore into you, studying your face, and you feel your cheeks begin to burn.

If he notices the bags under your eyes, he says nothing. The same way he says nothing when he probably remarks at your simplistic clothes and lack of jewelry, a far cry from the expensive dresses and diamonds he’d been used to seeing you in. 

“Were you about to go out?” Hoseok asks, and the question catches you off guard. “I’m sorry if I stopped you from going somewhere.”

“Or meeting someone.” The last part is a hushed whisper, mumbled underneath his breath, in the hopes that you wouldn’t catch him. But you had. You wish he’d stop apologizing. It makes you feel guilty when you shouldn’t be, like he’s trying and you’re shutting him out, when in reality it’d been the exact opposite. 

All of a sudden, your phone buzzes to life, a text message lighting up the screen. You freeze when you see who it’s from, quickly snatching your phone and cursing in your head. Minghao was a friend of a friend, the two of you running into each other a number of times over the past couple of weeks, before he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you for a coffee date.

You’d told him you’d think about it, and now here he was, lighting up your phone to ask you about your decision. Of course, how was he supposed to know that the reason you’d been holding off was the very man sitting in your living room, whom you’d almost married, and still couldn’t seem to let go?

Clutching your phone to your chest, you turn it to silent, setting it down beside you. Hoseok’s eyes are alight with curiosity, his lips turned up in a faint smirk, as though he’s remembering his statement from earlier. 

You take another sip, willing the caffeine to give you some strength, to rein in the bare threads of this conversation back to your control.

“How are your parents?”

Hoseok is taken aback by the question. He hadn’t expected it from you. There had once been a time where you’d been bright eyed and eager, wanting to know everything about him, bombarding him with question after question every time you were together. And yet somehow, he’d never managed to give you the time of day, always giving brusque answers and half-hearted excuses that there were other things that needed his attention.

He knew it was just a poor attempt to fill the silence, but his heart lurches at the thought that there’s so much you don’t know anymore. Namjoon coming back, Seokjin running away, the life that Hoseok knew being turned inside out. What’s more unsettling is the fact that he yearns to tell you, despite knowing he’d lost the privilege to do so.

“They’re okay. Doing well,” he lies through his teeth. “We all are. How about yours?”

He thinks it’s an innocent question, but he watches your fingers blanch as you grip the mug so tight, he thinks it’ll break. 

“I wouldn’t know,” you whisper out softly, and his heart stops. “I haven’t spoken to them since– you know.”

Hoseok feels dizzy at your confession. What do you mean you hadn’t spoken to them? Suddenly, it all begins to make sense in his head. The fact that he hadn’t expected to run into you tonight, because he hadn’t expected you to live alone, with your austere clothes and hair tossed up into a messy bun. It was so different from the woman he’d known, the dazzling one he’d written off as hollow in his mind, the one he was incapable of forming a real relationship with. 

And here you were, living the exact opposite of the cozy life he’d painted for you in his head. He thought you’d be fine, that you’d move on, your family offering you up to the next prospect that came along. And you’d accept them, like you’d accepted Hoseok with all his flaws, not caring that he could barely give you what you deserved.

His thoughts flash back to the last conversation you had, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed.

I can’t live like this anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and he watches annoyance flash across your face. He knows he’s done nothing but apologize this entire time, but it probably isn’t even worth a damn. No consolation would ever make up for losing someone that meant everything to you. He’d known that when Namjoon had run away.

“Hey,” you set the mug down, leaning over the table. For a brief second, he sees your hand reach out blindly in the darkness, almost as if it’s searching for his, but you withdraw just as quickly. “I’m okay. I really am.”

“I wish you’d stop pretending,” Hoseok blurts out, and he watches you jolt in surprise. “Why do you always have to pretend like everything’s okay, like nothing affects you? Is it the society training? Or do you really just not care about what happened at all?”

You chew the inside of your cheek, mulling over Hoseok’s words in your head.

“The same way you can pull the trigger on someone and be able to lie in your bed and fall asleep,” you seethe, a venom that Hoseok has never heard in your voice. 

“I knew who you were Hoseok. I knew what kind of man I was marrying. You think it didn’t affect me? You think I wasn’t scared out of my wits because of what you did, what other people could do to you?” 

You rise up, palms quivering as you open and close them, strolling over to the window. Hoseok watches your shoulders shake before they slump completely, and he knows that you’re crying.

He’s up before he can stop himself, feet ready to walk out the door. He’d fucked up the moment he’d stayed in the elevator with you, all the ugly feelings between you coming to a head, ones he’d struggled so hard to keep buried. 

But his body betrays him, instead leading him right behind. He pauses until he’s just close enough that if he reaches out, he’d be able to grab your arm and turn you around to face him. But he waits instead.

“I did what I did because I realized I was chasing a ghost,” you huff out, resignation in your tone. “I wanted you to be someone you weren’t. I wanted you to care so badly. But you didn’t. I don’t want any part in whatever you’re caught up in, Hoseok. Whatever has a hold on you so badly that you couldn’t even look beyond your cynicism to give me a chance.”

“I just want to survive.”

Hoseok grips the bathroom sink, knuckles turning white. His cell phone clatters on the counter beside him and he has to keep from heaving. This whole thing was a mess – no one had counted on Namjoon coming back. Even less so on him refusing to take up his father’s mantle. And so the threats continued – the words from the anonymous phone call still ringing in his ear, your name echoing across the line.

While he didn’t know what he felt for you, or whether he could even marry you, Hoseok knew you were an innocent person. You didn’t deserve to be the victim of your parents’ greed, them using you to bury their secrets in the hands of even more powerful people. You deserved gardens full of flowers and meals together every night, not coming home to an empty bed. Or a fiancé who couldn’t spare a moment during the entire night to even dance with you. 

He’s so lost in his brooding that he doesn’t hear the door the click behind him, the soft tapping of heels on the floor coming up behind him. 

“Is something wrong?” you ask him gently, and he feels the bristle of your hand on his jacket. 

So much was wrong. You couldn’t even begin to understand. 

“It’s fine,” he clears his throat, straightening up to adjust his jacket. “I’ll need to leave soon. I can have the car stay behind for you.”

The farther away he got from you, the better. That way no one could hurt you – or him. 

“I can go with you,” your voice echoes from beside him, “I was getting tired anyway.”

Hoseok turns to face you, watching you recoil at the red rimming his eyes, the bags underneath them becoming even more prominent in the dim lighting of the bathroom.

He doesn’t know what possesses him to reach for the single strand of hair that has managed to escape your polished bun, but he watches you suck in a breath, lips parting in surprise.

Before he knows it, your face is drawing in closer, and he can smell the rosé on your breath. Your lips barely ghost against his, and he has to fight every nerve ending not to grab your hand and run away from here, somewhere where he wasn’t Hoseok, and you weren’t ____, and you didn’t need protecting from everything around you – most of all him. 

His paralysis slowly melts away and he’s pushing you away without realizing, the door to the bathroom suddenly materialising in front of him. 

“Like I said,” he doesn’t bother turning around, knowing his heart would twist at whatever expression he found on your face. “I’ll have the car stay behind for you.”

Before you can wrestle with the weight of your confession to Hoseok, a hand is clamping over your mouth. Caught in a silent scream, you turn your eyes to see Hoseok lifting a finger to his lips, willing you to stay quiet. And that’s when you hear them. The voices.

Raucous laughter echoes through the hallway, tinged with malevolent glee. The air around you feels cold, a breeze at the base of your spine, and you instinctively curl into Hoseok.

“Come out, come out,” the disembodied voice cackles from the hallway. “Are you hiding from us, Jung? Found some poor rich girl to use as a body shield?”

Your hand seizes Hoseok’s wrist clamped against your mouth, nails digging into his arm, the fear taking over. Slowly, his wrist lowers, slipping to take your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?” 

He’s so quiet you almost can’t tell he’s said it at all. You nod reluctantly, eyes continuing to dart to the door.

“Go hide underneath the bed. Lock the door. I may or may not come back but please stay inside. Don’t come looking for me.”

His voice is clipped, the faint hint of nerves colouring his tone, but his eyes are filled with a resoluteness you know all too well. You’d spent the better part of over a year staring into them, hoping they’d look back. And now they finally were. 

“Be safe.” Your voice comes out louder than you’d intended, but there’s no anger in Hoseok’s expression. All he does is nod, and then you turn, stumbling down the hallway to your room, never bothering to look back until you hear the door click behind you.

. . .

Hoseok’s heart pounds in his chest, a strange pain settling in his ribs – he never expected to be in this position again. His sense of duty had always been his biggest downfall – and while you were no longer his, he owed it to you to make sure he gave you exactly what you’d asked him for – the chance to survive, to come out on the other side of this. That’s why he had to settle this once and for all.

Choi’s cronies linger at the other end of the hallway, too dumb to notice Hoseok slipping out of your door, reaching for the revolver he’d kept hidden in his coat pocket. A chill settles in his bones as he runs his fingers over the metal.

The brief events of the night play over in his head – the rain pounding against the pavement, the ding of the elevator, the now-cold mug of coffee that sat on your coffee table. And then there was you – your eyes, the softness of your skin, the faint smell of gardenias that lingered on your skin.

And it hits Hoseok that while he was very much alive – he’d been in mourning. Mourning for the friendships he’d never be able to recover, for the youth that had been taken away from him. But most of all, Hoseok’s heart mourns for the relationship he’d never gotten to have with you. The glass walls he’d so carefully put up around himself shatter, making way for a torrential deluge. 

After me, the flood.

He remembers the first night you’d met, how he’d been drawn to you without even trying, the portrait of the wave. He remembers the months that passed afterwards, where you drew closer to him and he drew back. He remembers the regret he’d buried deep in his heart for not kissing you back the night of the gala, not knowing he’d never get another chance.

But most of all, he remembers the somber expression on your face the day you’d ended things, pressing the engagement ring back into his hands, the very same ring that was still sitting in the first drawer of his nightstand. 

Choi’s men finally perk up, noticing Hoseok’s solitary figure lingering at the end of the hallway, smirks twisting on their grotesque faces. A shot rings out, and Hoseok thinks of you now, hiding under your bed. And then he charges.

The alleyway was grim at this time of day, the sunlight barely able to reach beyond the towering skyscrapers, the clouds casting everything in grey. Rain fell softly from the sky. You clutch your coat tighter around you, unable to stop looking at the mural of the wave.

So much had changed since you’d first seen it. And yet it was still the same.

You know Hoseok from the thud of his boots against the pavement, coming up beside you. His head turns, an eyebrow raised in your direction, wondering why you’d asked to meet him here of all places.

You avoid his eyes, fingers clasping around the blue velvet in your pocket. His eyes widen with surprise when he sees the box, confusion marring his handsome face. 

A knot forms in your chest when you watch the confusion turn into alarm as you press the box into his hand, the dazzling diamond no longer on your left finger.

“I don’t understand,” he grunts, breath visible in the cold air.

“We can’t do this anymore, Hoseok. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.”

“Was it something that I did?” he questions you, desperation creeping into his voice.

You scoff, watching him flinch, pain on his face. 

“No, it’s the opposite. It’s what you haven’t ever been able to do. It’s been an entire year, Hoseok. I’ve watched you answer every phone call that comes your way, disappear into the night to do god knows what, run whenever your friends call. And in that entire time, have you ever thought about us? About the future?”

You take a deep breath.

“I know that neither of us chose this, but Hoseok, we were engaged. Did that mean anything to you?”

He squares his shoulders, fists clenching at his sides, a tick in his jaw.

“You don’t understand. I-I’m not good for you, ___. I dont think I’ll ever be. There’s too much that’s happened, too much I’ve lost. But please don’t walk away like this.

“I thought it’d be enough,” you whisper, and Hoseok freezes. You didn’t know he’d heard you.

“I thought me loving you would be enough for the both of us. But it’s not. I need more. I need someone who I know will come home to me every night. But what I need even more than that, is for you to let me walk away so I can breathe again. So I can be myself.”

Your eyes are just as sad as the first time Hoseok saw them, and all of a sudden, you remark at how stagnant the two of you had been together.

“Hoseok please, I know I can’t ask you to do it if you love me, but if you’ve ever cared about me, even the tiniest bit, let me go.”

You watch him open the box, gazing at the ring. Moments pass by before he slips it into his own pocket, his eyes flitting to the wave as he gives you a small smile, the most genuine one you’d ever seen.

“Goodbye, ____. 

Hoseok’s fist rattles against the door, before he slumps over, heaving for breath. The pain in his side licks at him like the flames of a fire. He hisses when he presses a hand to it, eyes widening when it comes away covered in blood. Those fuckers had managed to get him. Shit.

His eyes are about to close when the door springs open, the wide eyes of Kim Namjoon taking in his battered figure. 

“Hobi, what the fuck?” Namjoon seethes, offering him an arm and pulling him inside. Slinging an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, the two of them hobble to Namjoon’s kitchen, the burning in Hoseok chest causing him to let out a loud groan.

“Hyun is sleeping,” Namjoon chastises him, and Hoseok bites his tongue, remembering that this Namjoon was dealing with a pregnant wife and a toddler. “You gonna tell me what the hell happened, or do I have to force it out of you?”

“I made a mistake, Namjoon. I went somewhere I shouldn’t have tonight. I fucked up, but I-I didn’t mean to I swear…”

Hoseok feels himself shake as the words pour out, the ruined mission the furthest thing from his mind. He tells Namjoon everything – from being tailed to running into to you, to how he’d left, not knowing whether you were okay or not. 

“That was a dick move,” Namjoon huffs.

“Excuse me?” Hoseok looks up at his best friend, who looks more pissed off than he’s ever seen him. 

“I said what I said. That was a dick move, just leaving her like that.”

“I don’t need a lecture on running away from you, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon wipes away the blood on his side, and Hoseok bites his tongue at the sting of the alcohol, before slumping into the chair next to him. 

“You’re an idiot, Jung Hoseok. You’ve been so afraid of letting yourself feel things for so long, and I know it’s because you think that everyone around you is going to leave, or that you’ll lose them. But I’m telling you right now, that’s the stupidest thing you could ever do.”

“You have to let yourself just be, Hobi. Just let go. Enjoy things - life, your friends, your family. Be open to the possibility of love. It’s the only thing that can keep the darkness away.”

Namjoon’s voice shrinks when he says the last line, and Hoseok knows his friend is far off in his own mind, battling the demons that plague him. 

“I think I’m too far gone for that, Namjoon,” Hoseok tells him. “Maybe some of us weren’t meant for happiness. Maybe some of us needed to make sacrifices so others could live the lives they wanted to.”

“That’s a damn lie if I’ve ever heard one, Hoseok.” Namjoon striaghtens, rising up from the chair. “I know you’ve been angry at me for leaving, for keeping you all in the dark. I know how much it hurts to not be able to share your happiest moments with people you love. And I’m sorry for that. But you have a chance to change things.”

“Listen Hobi,” Namjoon crouches down to his level. “I want to be the best man at your wedding – I want to be there for you in all the ways you didn’t get to do for me. This is my way of making amends, but you need to fix whatever this is between you two.”

“What makes you think she’ll even take me back? I was awful to her… god, she didn’t deserve that Joon. She deserves so much better.”

“Do you love her?” Namjoon asks him, and Hoseok is shocked when he doesn’t even have to pause to think about it. He wants to start over, to be by your side, to have a chance to love you properly this time around. 

“Second chances come when you least expect them, Hobi. Think about what would have happened if you hadn’t stepped out into the rain last night. And don’t let it happen again.”

The knock at the door startles you, your phone clattering to the floor. Swearing under your breath, you pick it up, perusing the message from Minghao once again. He was nothing if not persistent. And Hoseok was never coming back. You’d convinced yourself of that.

It’d been over a week since he’d left you that night - the promise to keep you safe burrowing its way into your heart. And then radio silence. You’d heard the gunshots in the hallway, but when you’d opened the door, no one was there, the only evidence of the showdown being the faint splatters of blood on the wall. When the police had questioned you, you’d left Hoseok’s name out of it – those words echoing in your mind, instilling a false sense of loyalty in you.

Why did you think things would be different this time around? It’d been foolish to assume that Hoseok thought anything more of you. But you couldn’t forget the look in his eyes, the gentle touches, the way he’d promise he would never let anything happen to you, and you fell for him all over again.

Throwing your phone aside, you grumble as you make your way to the door, making a mental note to respond to Minghao later, agreeing to the date.

Swinging it open, you freeze when you see who’s on the other end. Hoseok, looking worse for wear with bruises on his jaw and a nasty cut on his forehead, nervously twirling a tiny bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You’re dumbfounded - unable to speak as you take him in, his dark, inquisitive eyes gazing into your shocked ones. 

“You better let me in, ____,” he says with a grin. “Or the neighbours are gonna think I did something really bad this time.”

Wordlessly, you open the door to allow him to enter, watching as he slips off his coat and shoes, an exact repeat of a week ago. You watch him, trying to open your mouth and say something, ask him anything, but nothing will come out. 

“These are for you,” Hoseok nearly shoves the bouquet in your hands and you watch him rub at the back of his neck, his ears reddening.

“Are you okay Hoseok?” you finally manage to ask him, setting the flowers on your coffee table. Your concern wins out over your confusion once again, but the whole scene is odd – him, smiling in your apartment, the late afternoon sunlight casting half his angular face in a mysterious shadow.

“Just a little nick to my side,” he lifts his shirt up, your eyes widening at the bandages on his abdomen. “But actually, I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay since the day I let you walk away, and I can’t live with it anymore.”

You take a step back, unable to breathe. The space in between you seems to have lessened considerably, and you can make out every delicate detail of his face. Dizzy, you put some distance in between the two of you.

“Everything hurts, ___. It hurts because I look at you and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore, knowing how much pain I put you through. It hurts knowing that you’re so kind, so understanding of someone like me, when I don’t deserve it at all. And what hurts the most is knowing that I love you, and I’ve been lying to myself this entire time because I’m afraid you’ll leave just like everyone else, but I lost you anyway.”

Hoseok’s voice cracks on the last words, and you watch him sway, gripping onto your counter for support.

“I thought it was just me this entire time,” you finally manage to look him in the eyes, tears spilling out of your own. “I thought I was crazy, because ever since you walked out that door a week ago, all I’ve been doing is waiting for you to come back.”

“I’m here,” Hoseok closes the gap between you, arms wrapping around you. You breathe in the faint scent of tobacco on his leather jacket, mixed with the spice of his cologne. “And I’m not leaving. Not this time.”

You grip his lapels, before your arms come up to wrap around his neck, running your fingers through the soft hair at his nape. 

“What if it’s not different this time around?” you whisper into his neck. “What if nothing changes?”

“What if it is?” his low voice rumbles into your hair. “Can you trust me, ___? One more time?”

You take his hand in yours, bringing it to your chest, his lips parting in awe at the fluttering of your heartbeat.

“Only you can do that to me,” you say softly, a smile gracing your lips. 

Before you know it, Hoseok’s lips are crashing against yours, and you can feel him release a euphoric sigh, groaning into your mouth. It’s slow, tentative in the way he waits for your body to respond, never pushing more than you’re comfortable with. Eventually, even the small bit of distance in between you becomes too much to bear. You card your fingers into his hair, pulling slightly at the strands, warmth blossoming in your chest.

It feels too short when he pulls away all too soon, lips tinged with red and eyes dark with something that sends a shiver down your spine.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since the night of the gala,” he rasps, warmth blooming in your chest at his confession. “You were—, I mean you still are, breathtaking.”

You can feel the rapid beat of his heart, his pulse point right there below your fingertips, and you reach for his hand, watching his entire body soften at your touch. 

“Come with me,” you ask him, eyes turning down the hallway to your bedroom. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for. 

Hoseok tries to ignore the rapid rushing of blood in his ears, his focus narrowing to your head resting on his shoulder, the two of you looking out at the city together for the last little while from your bed. It’s somewhere he never imagined he’d be, but he’d felt the ice around his heart melt the moment he’d finally kissed you for real, warmth filling his veins.

And despite relishing in your presence, it was spiking to a fever pitch. He’d tasted you, and now he couldn’t get enough. All it takes is a brief moment for you to look in his eyes, and he’s pulling you into him once again, mouth hard on yours, unable to resist the desire for more, more, more. 

You whine into his mouth, hands fisting at the edge of his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head. He uses one hand to pin both arms behind you, reaching over with the other to hike your dress up to your stomach, finally peeling it off, and you lie back, eyes alight with desire as you take him in. 

He kisses you again, his lean body hovering over yours, hands roaming everywhere – your arms, up your neck, and on your thighs. He inches higher and higher, fingers ghosting over your core.

“Hoseok please,” you whimper, digging your nails into his shoulder blades. “I can’t wait anymore.”

You part your thighs for him, and he wastes no time, pulling your soaked underwear to the side and dipping his fingers into your arousal. He presses another hard kiss to your lips, catching your moans in his mouth while he works you open, leaving you trembling underneath him.

You whine when his fingers leave you, clenching around nothing, coming up to cup your exposed breasts in both hands while he licks and sucks at your nipples.

“Fuck,” he groans against your chest. “How are you so perfect? How are you even mine?”

His voice breaks, and you mouth at his jaw, mirroring his actions until purple bruises begin to bloom in the spots where your lips previously were.

“I’m yours,” you nip at his bottom lip. “Whether you like it or not.”

“Believe me,” he smirks. “I like it. I like it a lot actually. Let me show you how much.”

With adept skill, he manages to remove your panties in seconds, throwing them to the wall. The clinking sound of his belt drives you mad, and your hands join his, the two of you awkwardly fumbling to remove it.

You feel your mouth go dry when his cock springs free, and he chuckles at the depraved look in your eyes.

“Some other time, love,” he whispers, voice lowering a few octaves. “Right now, I need to feel you.”

You gasp when he pushes in, and he pauses, wondering if it’s too much, but you nod, letting him know it’s okay. He thrusts shallowly, before pushing in all the way, watching you squirm underneath him while rutting your hips.

“Move, please,” you beg him, and he obliges, hiking one leg up over his shoulder to open you up for him, the wet sounds of your pussy accompanying the fluid snap of his hips. His knuckles grip the headboard, turning white while he pins you underneath him, unable to take his eyes off the way your tits bounce with every thrust. His hands grip at your ass, every jerk of his hips an excuse to hold you tighter, until he can see your skin redden underneath his fingers. 

“Oh my god, Hoseok, I can’t–, it’s too much,” you groan, rocking against him in an attempt to quell the sparks underneath your skin, lighting you up like a livewire.

“Come for me,” he grunts, trapping your clit in between his fingers, rubbing tight circles until you snap, seeking his lips once again, your orgasm flooding your entire body like a wave. Hoseok speeds up his thrusts to join you, roaring when he feels himself explode, before slumping against you, chest heaving with the weight of his breaths. 

Moments pass like this, him remaining inside you while he burrows into the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning your damp skin. Eventually he pulls out of you with a soft whine, brushing away the sweat-soaked strands of hair at your temple, before rising. 

You trap his wrist in your hand, panic settling in. He watches your expression change and immediately stiffens, cradling you against his chest.

“That expression you always talk about, the flood. I-, I looked it up. And I know the life I have isn’t ideal, and maybe things will only get harder, but I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I don’t want to live out the rest of my life not caring anymore.”

“Do you know what I was thinking of that night, looking at the wave?” you mumble in his ear, and he gazes at you inquisitively, watching the way your skin glows under the moonlight as you take a breath.

“My whole life, people have forced me into this box, this image, of someone they want me to be – the perfect daughter, the perfect wife. It’s been suffocating. All I wanted that night was a taste of freedom - that feeling of happiness you have on a beach, feeling the waves crash at your feet. And then I saw you.”

Hoseok leaves a kiss in your hair, his fingers intertwining with yours. Briefly, his heart drops at the absence of the ring he’d given you on your finger, but he knows when you’re ready, it’ll be waiting for you. He’ll be waiting for you. And the two of you will step into the flood, together. 

a/n pt. 2:  Okay long ending note here. First, please visualize this Hoseok with the undercut ;) Second, I don't normally say this but the writer's block really got me good with this one, so I apologize if it's not up to my usual standards (pls be kind tho). And third and last, this fic definitely would never exist if it weren't for the wonderful Guarded series by Ana (@xjoonchildx). I think about it more than is necessary and this is definitely my tribute to the impeccable Captain Jung.

As always, any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi &lt;3

taglist (pls let me know if you want to be removed): @jalexad @secfir @hobi-love @back2bluesidex @temptingempress