#happy 19th birthday barcode

[micuko]

[softsorry]

!!!! TW !!!!

i was always “suicidal” as a teenager. i had started an ~ana~ instagram when i was in eighth grade and begun my barcodes at age 12. i was hospitalized my 19th birthday for a suicide attempt, and i felt death’s pull as sleep lulled me under the watch of the night nurse. i always thought i wanted to die but didn’t want to “die.” it took several years but for awhile i wanted to live. quarantine was both the best and worst months of my life in many ways. but now, as i sit and watch my boyfriend’s eyes wander to my friend for the umpteenth time, and i realize i exist solely to forever cycle though work.. weekend.. work.. my dog makes me happy, and i know he loves me. he is my purpose. but i also have realized i dread for suicide... i feel a sadness. i feel as though it is a fate i must sadly accept because i must admit my life is not worth living. work inhibits my joy, and the cycle of working is soul sucking. but also i realized there’s no pull for my soul to remain. nobody craves my existence or will mourn my absence. i once contemplated suicide and always hoped someone would want to stop me. now i realize i don’t care. i have experienced the life i am living. i have had multiple lives in my short years. and the outcome is still the same. i am always the outcast. i get the short end of the stick. my bridges are always somehow burned by a third party against my wishes, and i suffer the consequences. i will never be enough for one person. i will never be someone’s person. losing weight did not make me beautiful. my skin is loose and my body is just as shameful as before, just in a different way. the world revolves around money and i am unable to excel. i am a ghost. i am not sure why or how it is possible to be so invisible. i try very hard to exist. but someone who sits next to me and talks to me for an entire semester will still look me in the eyes outside of class and say “who are you?” because i don’t stick in memory. writing has been my only talent and now i feel no inspiration. just brain dead. i wish i felt like things were worth it. but i feel i am going to be forced to succumb simply by the circumstances of being human. i wish i was worth staying.

[pottercrew]

Grey Eyes and Magical Tattoos Pt.2

@rose-grangerweasleyisbae @gnarf @kai_ @missjw @quicksilvermaid @wo2ash @secretlycrazyhummingbird Thank you all for your support!!!

Part two featuring a true story from a night out when I was 19. I hope you enjoy!

It didn't work, of course, it didn't work.

Ron and Hermione had to leave early for their flight the next day, off to Egypt for their anniversary as Ron wanted to re-live the holiday with her.

"See you later, text or floo me when you're there," Harry said as he hugged Hermione goodbye.

"I will" She slid her eyes to Malfoy who had finally looked somewhere other than Harry, allowing him to breathe. "Is everything okay?"

Harry panicked slightly, worrying if they had somehow found out. Which was impossible, no one had seen them leave the last time. Not that he cared if they knew but he wanted to be the one to tell them if they finally asked.

He smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile "Yeah, I made a joke last time that I think he still hates me for"

Hermione nodded and smiled at him "You guys have got to stop provoking each other, even though it is quite funny"

"I'll try"

"See ya later mate, I'll make sure to let you know we got there alright" Ron finally joined them after saying his goodbyes to everyone else at the table and Harry hugged him.

"Have a great time and enjoy yourself" He looked at Hermione "no work!"

She laughed "I promise, I promise"

Everyone waved as they left the bar and Harry sat down next to Luna, Neville still outside on the phone. Harry turned to look at him and saw a small smile on his flushed face, head-nodding frantically. Harry felt a rush of happiness as what he assumed was a good thing happening and turned back towards his drink, not wanting to look antisocial now Ron and Hermione had left.

Malfoy still wasn't looking at him, locked in a conversation with Blaise that he couldn't hear over the rising volume of the bar.

He turned to Luna, Pansy, and Ginny and tried to take his mind off of Malfoy.

Soon, Neville walked back into the bar, bright red with a large smile on his handsome face.

"Everything go okay?" Harry asked quietly, not wanting to bring too much attention to the shy man.

Neville beamed at him as he pulled his jacket off of the back of his chair. "Yeah I-I'm going to meet him now" He rushed.

"Holy shit Nev" Harry was shocked at Neville agreeing to meet Luca right away. "Go get your man stud" He wagged his eyebrows and Neville pushed his shoulder again.

"It's not like that" He murmured stuffing his arms into his dark blue pea coat. "We're getting coffee"

"Well, I hope you enjoy your... coffee' and call me tomorrow to tell me about it!"

"I will, I definitely will!" Neville leaned down to hug and whispered a small thank you in Harry's ear before he pulled away and said goodnight to everyone else. Harry was still smiling as he watched Neville leave.

"What's got you so happy Potter?" Pansy asked, watching him as he turned back around.

"Nothing nothing," he said waving his fingers "How's the new job?" He asked before they started asking questions about Neville went. He knew they meant well but it was Nevile's story to tell, not his.

"Oh it's great, apart from the large pain in my arse that is Thomas" she sighed.

"Dean Thomas?" Malfoy asked and Harry nearly started at hearing his voice for the first time that night.

"No, Sean Thomas, the director"

"Ah" Malfoy nodded "I was going to say, isn't Dean in Australia with Finigann?"

"Yep" Ginny answered "been there for two weeks already, I hope he comes back soon, he's the best physiotherapist we've got"

"So what's so bad about this Sean?" Malfoy asked Pansy.

"Ughh he's just a dick, thinks he can take all our work for his own credit" Pansy worked in a small fashion school somewhere in London where Harry didn't know. Apparently, the location kept changing due to the apprentice work they managed to get their students.

"Wait is that the same dude who kept texting you the other night?" Ginny asked.

"Yep," Pansy popped the P and Ginny nodded.

"He was such a prick, he sent her fifteen texts in a row asking why she wasn't replying at ten in the evening" Ginny explained.

"Ugh I hate it when people do that" Blaise said pointedly looking at Malfoy as he did "It's so annoying"

"Shut up Blaise" Malfoy responded "It was important"

Blaise snorted and Pansy burst out laughing "Oh Draco, it's never fucking important"

Malfoy gave her the finger and picked up his drink.

"Harry does that all the time too" Ginny laughed sounded exasperated and Harry gasped dramatically.

"I fucking do not!"

"Yes you do!" she pointed a finger at him "remember the shopping trolly incident?"

"That was an emergency!" he defended

"No, it wasn't it was your own fault!"

"Wait wait wait, a shopping trolley, what happened with a shopping trolly?" Blaise asked.

"Noth-"

"Harry and Seamus thought it would be funny to try and fit in a shopping trolley and check themselves out in Morrisons after Seamus' 19th birthday"

Blaise burst out laughing along with Pansy, even Malfoy had a smirk on his face.

"Shut up Ginny! No one needed to know that!"

"You needed two healers to get your leg out of the bars!" she carried on, making Blaise laugh even harder, to the point he had his head leaned back on the booth and a hand on his stomach.

"F-fucking hell Potter" He gasped.

"How much did you come to?" Luna asked and Pansy laughed louder.

"It-it didn't work" Harry replied

"Why? I'm sure you and Seamus would have come to a high price"

"It doesn't work like that Luna, they don't have barcodes on them" Malfoy answered patiently and Harry was surprised Malfoy even knew what they were.

"How do you know?" Pansy asked, "Seen Potter or Finigann naked now have you Draco?"

Harry felt himself still at the question and forced himself to plaster a fun smile on his face. He didn't look at Malfoy.

"No" Malfoy responded flatly which only made Pansy's eyebrows raise higher.

"Oh really-"

"I need another drink, does anyone want another?" Harry cut in, standing from the table as nonchalantly as he could.

Luckily no one else seemed to find it suspicious and he was bombarded with drink orders. He nodded in a show that he remembered them and headed to the bar.

Fucking stupid Malfoy and his stupid observant friends.

He nodded to the barman and repeated the drink orders and hoped he remembered them correctly. He watched as they were placed on the bar and handed over his money telling the barman to keep the change. 

"I've been sent to help," Malfoy said from behind him, making him shiver.

"Oh-okay thanks" they haven't spoken since that night and Harry was too keenly aware of it.

"No problem" Malfoy replied moving to fit Harry's and Blaise' bottles between his two fingers and grabbed Pansy's cocktail glass in his other hand.

Harry grabbed the remaining drinks and as he turned, he caught Malfoy's eyes staring at his neck again. He looked away and acted like he didn't see anything and started to head back towards their table until Malfoy spoke. 

“Potter” It wasn’t a question, but it came out quiet, if it was any lower, Harry wasn’t sure he would have bee able to hear it over the general noise in the bar. In fact, a voice in his head told him to act as if he hadn’t heard it, to continue back to the table and act like nothing had happened. But he didn’t, he turned back towards Malfoy. 

Harry turned back to Malfoy despite the warning his mind whispered to him. He couldn't help himself. It was the first time Malfoy had properly spoken to him since that stupid night, and Harry was nothing if not curious.

"Yeah?"

Malfoy was looking directly at him, not his neck, nor his arms. Directly into his eyes and Harry swore the part of him that kept repeating that what they had done was a one-off and shouldn't happen again crumbled under that stare.

He stared back and prayed to whatever deity was listening that Malfoy never discovered the power that his gaze had over him.

"We need to talk" Malfoy's voice was low, it wasn't a question.

Harry sighed "I know" Of course he knew they had to talk, it didn't mean he wanted to. Or did he? He couldn't deny that the memories of that night were etched into his brain, on constant replay, making him ache with desire as he lay in bed. But a part of him didn't want to talk, didn't want to make it real.Of course, it happened, but some twisted part of him wanted to keep it hidden, keep it as a memory that only he and Malfoy shared, wanted it to happen again.

"But now isn't exactly the best place"

Malfoy rolled his eyes "No shit Potter" He looked towards their table. "After"

Harry nodded "after"

So then it was walking back to the table, drinks in hand and acting like nothing had happened, all the while Harry felt the itch of his tattoos and the small promise of something to happen 'after'. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want Malfoy again and the thought burned in his stomach, never leaving.

He tried to engage in the conversations that flowed around him, but he found he couldn't. Not with the constant gaze that Malfoy was still throwing his way.

At some point, Ginny and Luna said their goodbyes, something about morning practice as they left, Ginny throwing him a concerned look before she went through the door and Harry knew he'd have to deal with a floo call tomorrow. That left Harry, Malfoy, Blaise, and Pansy around the table.

Still, Harry couldn't shake off the feeling of excitement and nervousness that had descended after they had agreed to talk after and he found his mind reeling with possibilities. How would they do it? would they wait for the two other Slytherins to leave first? Or would they themselves leave together after Malfoy signaled he wanted to go? What would they talk about? If in fact, they talked at all? Harry knew himself enough to know that after the memory of last time coupled with the pints he had had tonight he wouldn't be able to resist Malfoy if he wanted to repeat what happened, and it shocked him. He didn't like the power that Malfoy didn't know he wielded over Harry had.

But what scared him more, what had him clenching his knee anytime the thought passed by, was the question of what would happen if Malfoy told him he regretted what had happened? If he asked Harry to forget what they had done and move on. That it was one of the worst nights of his life and one of the main things he regretted. The way that Malfoy kept staring at him had him question this thought, though it didn't stop the slight panic that arose every time he questioned himself. He wouldn’t mind if Malfoy put his line in the sand and said he had a good time but that was all it would be. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t looking for anything long term, what he and Malfoy did had been a drunken decision and it would be perfectly understandable if Malfoy didn’t want to do it again. But Harry didn’t want to hear that he regretted it. Harry never wanted to be something anyone regretted, he didn’t want Malfoy to feel regret every time he looked at Harry. They were finally able to hold a conversation and be friendly towards each other, Harry didn’t want to damage that. 

He was starting to sweat, and he felt itchy, his hair pulled too tightly back, his clothes sitting uncomfortably on his skin. He took a breath and pulled his hair from its tie, re-tying it at the back of his head and rubbing a hand across his bearded chin to help alleviate some of his stress. It helped slightly, to keep his hands busy.

"You seem awfully distracted tonight Potter, I do hope everything is okay?" Pansy drawled, swirling a drink Harry hadn't seen her buy.

"I'm fine, just tired"

Pansy smirked "Oh I'm sure you are" Her eyes flew to Malfoy and Harry panicked slightly.

"I don't think I know what you're talking about"

"Oh come on, you and Luca?" Harry felt relief.

"Me and Luca?"

"You two must be fucking Potter"

Harry registered Malfoy put his drink down with force but didn't look at him. He couldn't help the slightly hysterical laughter that escaped him.

"Me and Luca? Fucking- nonononononono" He laughed, "What gave you that idea"

Pansy looked suspicious "Have you seen Luca? I happened to be introduced at that artist function last month and honest to god wanted to take him right there"

Blaise snorted.

"What?" Pansy looked at him "you said the same thing"

"I know, just a little more refined sweetie"

"Oh fuck refined Blaise, Luca is fucking fit" She looked back to Harry "Anyway me and Ginny were talking-"

Harry groaned "Don't listen to Ginny Parkinson, she wants to believe I'm sleeping with every man I come across"

"She's only concerned about you Potter, she thinks you don't get enough"

Harry had to physically stop his eyes from swiveling to Malfoy and put what he hoped was a convincing smirk on his face "I can assure you, Parkinson, I'm getting enough"

He didn't miss the way Malfoy scowled, however, but he ignored it, he didn't want to give Pansy anything. When she was focused on something, she was like a fucking bloodhound.

Her smirk turned dangerous "Oh really? care to elaborate?"

Thankfully before he was made to answer Blaise gulped the rest of his drink and slammed it onto the table merrily. "Come on now Pansy, Potter doesn't have to tell you who he is or isn't sleeping with. And anyway, no offense Potter but I don't want to know"

"None taken" Harry laughed, leaning back on his chair, feeling the tension drain out of him.

"Now Parkinson," Blaise said turning towards her drunkenly, "I thought you said you were going to show me this club you've been going to, care to come too Draco?"

Malfoy groaned "No, I'd rather stay here with Potter than go to that stupid fashion club"

Harry scowled at him but it was ignored because Pansy gasped dramatically and stood up.

"I forgot! Let's go Balise, and leave the boring old man to his bars" She flapped her hand at Malfoy and Blaise laughed.

Harry watched fighting a laugh as the drunken pair tried to elegantly slip from the booth and put on their things. Instead, Pansy had to drag Blaise up as he slipped on the leather.

"Have a nice night then" Harry said to them as they finished saying goodbye to a put out looking Malfoy.

"Oh, we will" Pansy assured waving him goodbye.

Harry turned back towards Malfoy once they had left "Old man?"

"Oh shut up Potter, Pansy and Blaise are idiots" Malfoy scowled and Harry scoffed picking his drink up.

It was then that the fact that they were alone hit him, and the fire that had settled to a dull flicker came back to a full roar in his chest.

Malfoy was sitting on the other side of the booth, looking everywhere but at him, and after spending the whole evening staring at Harry, Harry couldn't help but poke at him.

"What's wrong Malfoy? Lost all of your confidence now that your friends have gone?"

He shouldn't have said it, shouldn't have been poking at Malfoy now at all times, but the instant response it invoked made it hard not to.

Malfoy turned his whole attention towards him, those grey eyes searing into his.

"My confidence wasn't something you were complaining at last time" Last time like there would be another. The sentence sent his blood racing at its implications,  and he hoped the images that flooded his head were plaguing Malfoy’s a well.

"Last time? So is this another then?” He asked, wanting to get whatever answer Malfoy had out of the way. If there wasn't going to be another time, then he’d rather find out now before his mind got carried away. He wouldn’t be hurt if Malfoy said there wasn’t going to be one if he called an end to the whole thing if he let it be the single fuck up it had been. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t want it to happen again. 

Malfoy leaned back, eyes falling to Harry’s mouth “Is that what you want?” he asked. 

The words were out of Harry’s mouth before he could think about it. 

“Yeah”. 

I think I’m going to make this four parts, but I always change my mind so I’m not sure. I’m not good a doing cliffhangers so I hope this is okay aha. For full tags on this, please look at the tags on Ao3 for it, if I put them here it will spoil it- I think aha. I hope you liked this 2nd part! 

Part 1

[womenofcolor15]

50 Cent Clowns Wendy Williams After She Was Denied Party Entry & Explains How Bow Wow Took The Stripper Money Home!

50 Cent is back to clowning Wendy Williams. And he's spilling tea about why he was at Bow Wow's neck over the stripper money he gave him in the club. More inside...

          View this post on Instagram

                  you can’t just show up to my PARTY if you been talking about me. BITCH wait out side #lecheminduroi #bransoncognac #TheKing

A post shared by 50 Cent (@50cent) on Aug 18, 2019 at 5:36pm PDT

  As you know, Wendy Williams has been on her "Hot Girl Summer" steez heavy. But her longtime nemesis 50 Cent tried to put a damper on her festivities.

The "Power" producer shared a video on his Instagram that seemingly shows the daytime talk show host being denied entry into his party at New Jersey’s BarCode on Saturday.

"You can’t just show up to my PARTY if you been talking about me," Fif captioned the video. "B*TCH wait out side."

Yikes. Peep the clip above.

That didn't stop the celebration though. Wendy was out on the town with her son, Kevin Jr., to celebrate his 19th birthday. They partied with "uncle" Snoop Dogg and Cardi B:

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                  Nothing like Uncle @snoopdogg on your 19th birthday!!

A post shared by Wendy Williams (@wendyshow) on Aug 18, 2019 at 5:34pm PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  Legends!

A post shared by Wendy Williams (@wendyshow) on Aug 18, 2019 at 5:42pm PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  Been celebrating Kevin’s birthday all weekend. 9:35p August 2000 I pushed & he appeared My nephew Travis & his girlfriend Danerra are here, plus Madina and her son Bookah and the rest of our crew. We all stuck up Jason Lee's birthday party. Please save me from this weirdness...WENDY season 11 September 16th.

A post shared by Wendy Williams (@wendyshow) on Aug 18, 2019 at 4:16pm PDT

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                  Ok I'm done with this life!! I'm frightened by the drama! Please recuse me September 16th! Medina is the worst. @iamcardib is twerking. My legs are on swollen. My son is here. Nephew Travis is like GOOD; right with his aunt! I'm frightened, but happy @ the same time. #aboutlastnight #summer #nyc

A post shared by Wendy Williams (@wendyshow) on Aug 18, 2019 at 3:59am PDT

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                  Happy 19th birthday to my son. Kevin's sooo good I cry during a NYC night! #hbd

A post shared by Wendy Williams (@wendyshow) on Aug 17, 2019 at 4:23am PDT

  By the way, the "Wendy Williams Show" returns September 16th.

As for Fif...

  The 44-year-old rapper made a stop in the clubhouse with Andy Cohen on "Watch What Happens Live" to explain his "beef" with Bow Wow. We know y'all remember when the "Power" producer called the "Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta" star our for owing him money after loaning him some in the strip club during the Tycoon Music Festival in ATL back in June.

Fif said his issue wasn't the fact that he gave Bow Wow money for the strippers. It's the fact that he took the money HOME with him instead of making it rain on the exotic dancers. Oop. Then, Bow Wow hopped on Instagram, flexing with the money, so Fif had to call him out. Peep the clip below:

  "Fofty" also explained why he called out film/television producer Randall Emmett and he also dissed Ja Rule...again:

Are we feeing his lewk?

  Photo: Splash/MEGA

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/08/19/50-cent-clowns-wendy-williams-after-she-was-denied-pary-access-explains-how-bow-wow-took-

[micuko]

Barcode: Before this birthday night is through, I wish everyone in this world is happy. Thank you for coming to help me fulfill my dream. You add meaning to my life. I'm glad that everyone is happy. I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight, my true love. (via twitter)

[micuko]

makeupbyrasika: HBD, n'god @barcode.tin 🎂 Keep getting better. I wish you to be cute and loved by everyone like this forever. Always supporting you. Love. 🥳💕

[micuko]

[micuko]

[micuko]

[micuko]

Barcode: 19 already, let's create a brighter world together 🎂😊 (via twitter)

[micuko]

[micuko]

1st.One: Happy Birthday @BarcodeTin from 1st.One Boygroup Family. Thank you for taking care of @1stoneofc_alpha @1stoneofc_jysn @1stoneofc_ace looking forward to the day other members will meet you. More happiness, success and love to such an amazing person & star. 🍰⭐️ (via twitter)