#happy (almost) new year y'all!!!

[dagwmeno]

HEY HAPPY NEW YEAR (three days late) I FINALLY MANAGED TO DRAW SOMETHING SEMI DECENT FOR THE OCCASION

[ohheydodo]

holiday stuff cuz why not jfkdljflks

[fratboykate]

Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

new years smooch!

[tanuki-ticks]

Art Vs. Artist 2024?? Yeah

[sapphiroth]

anytime I notice my body hair start growing more because of the T I get more and more excited, I love seeing my legs and my arms and the beginnings of a happy trail, I love being a hairy little dyke so much hehe

[kindlythevoid]

Like a day after posting this I got food poisoning or something and was absolutely rocked out of commission. Please standby over the next week or so as I attempt to finish and edit the chapters. <3

Rewind Gift

I'm going to pretend it's still Christmas, and since unfortunately I do not have my chapters up and ready to go, like I did last year, in honor of Merlin's finale and as my Christmas present to you, I have one (1) paragraph from the next chapter of Rewind that I would like to share with you :D

[Arthur] wondered if that was how Merlin had always seen magic, as something to be explored and discovered rather than as a weapon to be used. He remembered Merlin showing him the dragon in the flames, when he first had to prove to Arthur he had magic. Arthur remembered the fear in his heart that day, the horror and dread in realizing that his dearest friend had been corrupted, had betrayed him, only to find out that it was Arthur who had been wrong. It still didn’t sit right with him, those few days before he had died. They turned over and over in his mind, a constant reminder of what he had to get right, of what would happen if it went wrong. 

And, also, because I really love you guys, here is the first paragraph of a 5+1 that I've been working on, which may or may not be dubbed as the "Mysterious Chapter Twenty-One" which deals with Arthur meeting/interacting with other servants in the Castle. :)

Arthur remembers the first time he met Gerty. Not in the past life, not in this life, but when he was a boy. He’d been taking food from the kitchen for as long as he could remember, always scared of the woman who could wield her ladle as swiftly and ferociously as he had seen the knights of his youth wield the sword. But while he had knowingly turned a blind eye to his Knights’ antics concerning the kitchen, especially when caught, Arthur himself had only been grabbed once.

Not sure when the actual chapters will be out (for the story at least; the 5+1 is still a bit off as well, although it may get posted during my "off season"), but I've got about three thousand solid words down and about another two thousand words of assorted scenes floating around, so I feel on track for getting it done before the end of the year. I hope this was a suitable gift, however, and Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!!

[11cupids-tarot11]

What will Life in general be like with your Future Spouse?

Gender Neutral for Everyone!

1 -> 3 ♡

Tips are very much appreciated!! Love you guys!!♡

My Kofi (I plan to set up the rest of my services in shop soon!)

Cupid's Services

Cupid's Master-List

Hi loves! Happy 2025 🥳 I know I’m two months late and I’ve been gone for way longer than I had expected, but I’m so happy to be back!! I hope everyone’s new year is going amazing!

Pile 1- The World, King of Wands, Eight of Cups and, Strength.

Hi pile 1!

So right off the bat I feel like your person is such a character! They don't like to be bored, very adventurous and free spirited. If you're a home body I'm not sure if you'd like this about them, but if you're someone that also loves a good adventure I see you two being partners in crime! Everyday is something new really, I think even days when you're both just chilling in the house they like to make it fun, there's always laughter in y'all's home.

So I see this being during a time in life together you're both financially stable, living together and the both of you just really love to live out your days to the fullest, enjoying life together, I hear you guys will always hear complaints from your friends and family how you're never around anymore because you're always on trips lol, living with this person is almost like a whole new world almost, you'll feel like nothing's impossible.

I feel like your person is very fiery, they like to charge through life with their head held high, very outspoken and would rather be a leader than a follower, they fight back, they're so loud too, they won't be ignored. You'll always see these things about them throughout life, you'll see how they love to take charge and stand ground, how they don't like to put up with anyone's bullshit.

I feel like for fun you two will do things kinda sketchy, like my cards show a person graffitiing on the wall, you two will do things for the adrenaline rush of not getting caught but even if you get caught that adds to the fun cause you'll just run away. This person could make you feel younger than you actually are, I just see lots of giggling and mischief, things you'd probably never even thought you'd do because you're like "nah I'm too reserved of a person" but this person will make you want to branch out of your comfort zone, they'll help you through every high and every low, they'll be your strength when you have none.

I feel like if you're someone that's like me and ALWAYS bored, you'll love this person because they're like how could you ever be bored of me? Even conversations with this person are crazy and wild because I don't really think they care for a filter, they seem to not really fear anything in life lol I love their energy, they'll totally rub off on you some of their fiery ways too, they like to see you strong and in your power.

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

-Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 2- Seven of Cups, Temperance, Nine of Cups and, Three of Swords.

Hi pile 2!!

So your future spouse and you will like to plan, I see you guys discussing everything first before you actually do it. You guys just might like feeling secure and safe, planning for the long run, but also being like "okay, so, what's for dinner tomorrow? Do I need to go to the store tomorrow morning?" That kinda energy in almost everything. You guys also like planning your alone time, you might be busy people so I see you two sitting down discussing your little get away from everyone and life temporarily.

Funny enough with the Temperance card here I think this person also likes to go with the flow, maybe this person loves days when you're both free from work or your schedule for long periods of time and can finally focus on each other.

I think during days like those your person will just love making their days about you, they feel kind of clingy and quality time is their love language tbh, they don't really care what you guys do as long as they're with you, they could just sit in silence with you. This person loves focusing on healing the both of you daily, they're really into health and fitness I think but also mental health as well, they're the type to make you a random snack when they've noticed you've skipped breakfast or haven't eaten in awhile, I think they really love taking care of themselves but you as well!

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

-Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 3- The World, Eight of Swords, The High Priestess, and Six of Coins.

Hi pile 3!

So starting off with The World card I have a very big feeling this is a very free flowing and creative pile! Maybe you do something creative for work, an influence online or something along the lines of that, or your future spouse could be! There’s a vibe here that you and your spouse might like to travel a lot, I feel like your life is a little less planned out, for example you guys might do lots of things out of the blue, random dates, going out shopping together but getting distracted and deciding to go out on a little dinner date at a new restaurant you two stumbled upon while shopping, that kind of unplanned/spontaneous energy.

I feel like your spouse is someone very supportive with the Eight of Swords here, I think in the future together you and your spouse will like to keep things light hearted, I’m hearing in the world we live in these days you and your spouse will try to not like this world break the two of you apart, change your character or value. You guys feel like a very positive couple, the kind to go donate to Charity, volunteer ect etc. Your spouse also likes to take of you! They’ll also be the shoulder you can cry on, they’ll want to make life easier for you too in this world we live in!

Your spouse will honor you, they’ll think and respect your home like a Kingdom, they’ll honor you and the ground you walk on, everyday! From the moment you open your eyes in bed, they’re the type to wake you up with breakfast in bed, except they’ll let you sleep in while they’ve been up for awhile cooking for you. So sweet! A real partnership💕

With the Six of Coins here I think your spouse might be wealthy or is destined for wealth, your spouse wants you to live a life with them where they can pamper you! If you want to be a stay at home parent they’ll support that (if not that’s okay too, they’ll support you working as well!) they’re just like that! They’ll support anything you do! I think this person wants to be so wealthy that they can make money in their sleep and can relax on vacation with you!

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

[tiamathh]

2025: A Brief Look (love n career) ☆

Hi angels! Happy new year may all of you be blessed and prosper and get everything you want and more <33 This PAC has Love and Career the other 2025 PAC will include social life and personal growth! Love you take care 🤭 here's to posting more this year and being consistent which is my new years resolution LMAO LIKES N' REBLOGS APPRECIATED

Masterlist || Paid Readings + FB || Tip Jar

Love [1 -> 3]

Career [A -> C]

Pile 1 ♡

Hey loves! So your love life is going to be really fulfilling this year, starting off there is this deep focus that you will feel when it comes to your social (romantic and platonic) connections and these may be what you will be caring about more in this year. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this year brings choices that align with your desires and what you may have wanted for a long while.

Dam pile 1 I am getting that you may have to make some really tough decisions this year, because there will be too many good choices, and it could make you a little confused, this im getting may be between a past love and a new one, one which you have been craving (past) and one which you may have wanted for along time (new) this is going to be tough for sure because the person from your past may come into your life this year when you are going through a time where you are on a nostalgia trip. This energy is sos trong that I just envisioned the 2oC, which talks about this year bringing a lot of harmony and balance in your romantic connections. This is the kind of love where you see eye to eye with the other person, and you guys have this almost atomic connection between the both of you, and is a pairing that feels equal and deeply cherished. If you’ve been waiting for someone special, this could signify a soulmate-like meeting. For the ones who are already with someone this year will deepen your bond, inviting more emotional intimacy and a lot of plans for the future, you guys will be taking things to the next level. However, as I already said with the tough decisions part, there may be moments of hesitation or misalignment in the way you express what you want and your emotions which can lead to miscommuncication that could have been avoided. You may feel overly idealistic, which could lead to disappointments if reality doesn’t meet your expectations entirely, you may also (due to your hesitance) hold back romantic gestures because of the fear of uncertainty.

Oof this year is definitely filled with a lot of healing, growing from your wounds and finding closure in simple things when it comes to love, if you’ve been carrying heartaches from previous relationships or struggles with self-love, 2025 will give you a chance to heal and almost get a restart. Romantically, the worst is a 100% behind you, as you are letting go of old pain and stepping into an environment which can foster a lot of love. Okay very very specific message, some of you may be welcoming or starting a new family this year, this can be with regard to fertility or marriage so have fun y'all and stay safe out there lol

x◉

Pile 2 ♡

Hey pile 2, love in 2025 this feels like it is mostly for the people who may experinece romantic love or relationships for the first tie this year, I sense the energy of the AoC with new relationships and the energy here is very very fresh, and this year may be the beinning of that long romantic journey and dating life that you may have wanted for a long while. There are going to be a lot of celebrations this year and you may meet someone at one of these celebrations, I am getting the celebrations and joy will revolve around family stuff, like engagements, marriages, birthdays, a party related to your family fs though. This is also a message that things may be getting serious this year for the people who have selected the pile and are in relationships, theres a message that there will be huge milestones that will be achieved in love this year like moving with your partner, and for the singles one out there like me, this could also apply to you guys because your relationships may be getting serious this year.

This pile is the longterm pile for sure, whatever the case may be single or taken, you will find someone who will be there with you for quite a few years. However, theres a lot of confusion here, may be some of you feel like you do not deserve the kind of love that is coming your way or feel like the love is "too good" for you or that there are some terms and conditions applied that you did not know of. This fear due to a lack of self love is going to be the biggest obstacle when it comes to your love life, here you are your own worst enemy. You need to be more reflective and loving to you and you are being encouraged to reflect on your approach towards love both for others and for you. If there are opportunities but your heart is closed, then it will be impossible for love to blossom no matter how strong it is and how badly it wants to come into your life. Unprompted advice here, don't get caught up in the fantasy of a relationship or what it should look like, your relationship can be just as loving and deep as someone elses even if the ways of expressing things are different. Now I am also getting that you could be someone who may be used to rationalising things very often. You need to go with your ut this year when it comes to love, listen to your intuition do not make a pros and cons list (even though thats what i do) just let your gut guide you and you will have the best love year you have ever had muah <3.

x◉

Pile 3 ♡

Hi my pile 3 <33 this is an amazing pile because I instantly SAW cards as soon as I started, okay so starting with the 2 main cards that I saw here those being QoC and the 6oP rx. With the first card here you will be coming into a space where you will completely embrace your empathetic and nurturing side, not being too worried about looking tough anymore.

This card shows that you are embodying the traits of the QoC, which will lead to your cup being filled by someone else as well, maybe someone older than you (romantically) here, they will help guide you and in return love just being in your presence because of this warmth you will be exuding this year. You will be connecting with people on a deep emotional (heart) level, feeling seen and supported in ways you’ve always craved and this is a year where emotional connection is key, and you’ll notice that you will attract a lot of people who may need healing. However, even though thes epeople will be lovely, and you will help thema lot, remember it is not your job to "fix" anyone, and that not everyone will be as giving and ready to reciprocate all the effort and love you put in. Now with the 6oP rx, the same thing I just said is being reiterated that there may be moments where the give-and-take in relationships feels off-balance. You could find yourself giving more than you receive which could almost make you feel like you are obligated to give without getting anything back.

But 2025 has a lot of "victorious" energy, like its fast paced and there will be a LOT of suitors coming to you this year with minimal obstacles, you will be actively partaking and taking steps to look for people, maybe even being the one who approaches people ooo sexy bold energy coming from you here in the dating sphere dam. Although this year is very positive for you in love, and filled with potential you are being tested, how long are you going to stay when you feel like you aren't getting much? How much are you willing to give? It's going to test your perseverance and see if you can stand strong in these situations or maybe make the best of them. Just because you have been hurt before, you will be cautious but don't let these past wounds hold you back, you can always grow.

Ok I just saw the KoC, this is PERFECT OMGG okay okay so I love that we have gotten court cards for the same suit, this shows me that someone who embodies this energy is going to be coming into your life, to balance things out, and give you what you deserve, but you will have to go through quite a bit of rocky talking stages to find them, that is if you are able to identify what you want and from whom in a relationship.

Pile 1 ✈︎

Pile 1 hiiii, your career in 2025 is all about stepping into your power and taking control of your career, you will be very structured and disciplined this year, you have a plan in mind and it will help you improve your leadership skills and be in the spotlight, I am getting star student/employee, someone others will aspire to be like. This year will help you improve your work ethic and create a solid foundation for your work in the future and embrace being in a position where you are in authority, you will also get way better at setting boundaries that means not doing more than you need to, and not being overly generous with the people who wokr alongside you.

You are going to be ON THE GRINDDD this year, working hard and being insanely focused, you will be putting in effort to also refine your communications skills mainly so that you can network more, maybe joining certification courses or mastering your craft but you will definitely be upskilling and trying to make the most of your time. I love this pile omg, you are going to be breaking free from unhealthy patterns or limiting thoughts you may have that could have held you back in the past, like stepping away from toxic work environments, not engaging in petty gossip, MAINTAINING WORK-LIFE BALANCE so you do not burnout and gaining more confidence in yourself. If there is someone with prominent fire energy in your life who may be causing some trouble, they will be toning things down, as you start becoming more self assured.

Although you will be making big big strides in your career and establishing yourself well, you may still find yourself in moments where you feel like you aren't financially stable or where family obligations can lead you to making choices you would not have otherwise, please keep in mind your family is important but you are allowed to make your own decisions removed from your family, not everything has to be done as a unit especially if it is very important to you.

x◉

Pile 2 ✈︎

Hi pile 2, 2025 is going to be a mix bag for you lot like although you’ll experience some significant new opportunities, it will have a lot of challenges. For some of you, there could have been like some strain and dificulty when it comes to financial stability or you could be feeling a lack of support from your family, you guys are my dreamers, you have passion and you want to pursue it, so the trade off for doing something you love is that things may be harder sometimes. You financial strain or lack of support you’ve been feeling might persist longer than you expect. There will be progress, but it may be slower than you’d like, and there might be times when you feel like things are still a bit unstable or just like stagnant, because it can be harder to see your own success and progress at times but trust me you will be progressing, but don’t lose hope babes because you will continue to rebuild, and the find financial abundance around the last quarter of the year.

Teamwork is a big thing here, you’ll need to focus on collaboration more than ever it's like when musicians colab with each other, very artistic vibes coming through here. Although you will have moments where you want to take charge or stand out, your growth will depend on your ability to work with others, being a lone wolf will only take you so far, you cannot and don't need to do everything on your own. I know it can be hard to put your ideas to words sometimes and articulate well, but just remember different opinions and ideas are not an attack on your opinions and ideas, they are simply just different and that's it. There will be a lot of breakthroughs and achievements, but most will require you to step outside your comfort zone and won’t always be smooth, and you may question whether your efforts are paying off or if its even worth it sometimes, wanting to take a more traditional route rather than making your own path.

x◉

Pile 3 ✈︎

PILE 3 MY LOVES this year you are going to get all the praise and recognition you DESERVE for all the work you put in. This will feel validating, and you’ll have moments to truly appreciate what you’ve achieved, but with this will comes the pressure to maintain that level of success, and you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed at times. Despite the recognition, you may find yourself holding onto things because of fears around scarcity or losing control and its natural to want to protect what you’ve worked hard for, but 2025 will require you to take risks. Invest in yourself, whether through further education, expanding your network, or making a different career move, trying to go for something new, will be crucial for growth.

While it might feel uncomfortable at times to loosen your grip, doing so will open the door to new opportunities that could lead to even greater success. The hard work you’ve been putting in will start paying off in a big way, and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as you complete major goals. This is a time of fulfillment, where everything you’ve worked toward begins to come together. However, within all this like fast paced stuff you may start to feel signs of burning out and may start having less and less time for your friends and family, it wil. be like you will have tunnel vision for olny work because you want to succeed so bad which is valud but if you don't take care of yourself, the challenges will just keep being added to.

Success doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes it takes patience and steady effort rather than burning too bright and overworking yourself and then just not being able to keep up. This is your year to nurture what you’ve started and ensure that you’re building a solid foundation for the future, so don’t rush into the next big thing just for the sake of it. Now last message coming through is that there will be opportunities to resolve any conflicts or lingering negativity in your career. If you’ve been dealing with tensions at work or internal struggles about your career path, this is the year to let go of what’s been holding you back, where you will focus on releasing grudges, ego battles, or any negative energy that’s draining you and you will learn how to compromise better too.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

[onlyangel4]

onlyangel4 1k event - P4. YT22. SMAU.

trope: secret long term relationship

pairing: yuki tsunoda x fiancé!reader

faceclaim: kiko mizuhara

1k event

y/nprivinsta

liked by y/bff, yukitsunoda, alexandrasaintmleux and 102 others

tagged: yukitsunoda

y/nprivinsta: this year was my third summer break as a wag and i have to say it was the best one yet

view all 41 comments

yukitsunoda: i fucked it for myself i'll never top this

y/nprivinsta: gonna have to think outside of the box baby

y/bff: i haven't stopped crying since you facetimed me

y/nprivinsta: i love you so much

alexandrasaintmleux: we need to go out and celebrate

iamrebeccad: i'm coming

flavy.barla: and me

francisca.cgomes: me too

pierregasly: so happy for you both

y/nprivinsta: thank you pierre!

landonorris: omg the shortest couple in f1 are getting married

y/nprivinsta: you really have the attitude of a six foot man

alexandrasaintmleux

liked by flavy.barla, iamrebeccad, charlesleclerc and 1,202,009 others

tagged: flavy.barla. iamrebeccad. francisca.cgomes. lilymhe.

alexandrasaintmleux: ladies night

view all 32,101 comments

flavy.barla: the best night ever

alexandrasaintmleux: even if we did lose y/n for a hot minute

user1: who tf is y/n

iamrebeccad: love you all

lilymhe: the best night out in a long time

user2: so we know they are all wags but who is that other girl

user3: the logical side of my brain says just a friend but the delulu side of my brain makes me think maybe we have a new wag

user4: i need to know who that other girl is

y/nprivinsta posted a story

written: watching the whole f1 community blow up trying to find out who i am has me giggling

yukitsunoda: they are guessing that you are a wag for literally anyone but me

y/nprivinsta: yeah i read an article that i'm lando's secret girlfriend

f1updates

liked by user6, user7, user8 and 45,283 others

f1updates: so lando was just questioned about the girl, y/n in alex's new instagram post and his reaction is the funniest thing ever

interviewer: "so is it true that you have a new girl in your life"

lando (confused as ever): "what? wait you mean y/n"

*he started hysterically laughing*

lando: "no me and y/n are not together, jesus christ you guys need to stop believing everything that you see on twitter, you are going to get me killed"

view all 4,211 comments

user6: that response makes me think she is deffo a wag

user7: but who is she dating lando

user8: y'all need to stop being so fucking nosey

y/nprivinsta posted a story tagging yukitsunoda

written: last dinner with my fiancée, here's to many more with my husband

alexandrasaintmleux posted a story

written: the last time i posted this girl f1 twitter almost went up in flames

f1updates posted a story

written: guys an interviewer just asked yuki if he did anything exciting with his summer break. his response was "well i got married" AND THEN HE JUST WALKED OFF

yukitsunoda

liked by y/nprivinsta, pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,002,932 others

tagged: y/nprivinsta

yukitsunoda: introducing y/n tsunoda, the love of my life

view all 176,384 comments

y/nprivinsta: i love you more than anything

yukitsunoda: more than sakura

y/nprivinsta: know your place that cat is my child

pierregasly: the best wedding ever

yukitsunoda: do you even remember it, you were so drunk

landonorris: i still can't believe people were shipping me with your wife

yukitsunoda: count your days norris

user9: holy shit yuki married a BADDIE

user10: omg they have a cat that is so cute

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

@bibissparkles

@milkysoop

@hadids-world

@callsignwidow

@barcelonaloverf1life

@queen-of-the-hunt

@piastrams

@kravitzwhore

@a-beaverhausen

@fangirlforever2000

@formulaal

@azeal-peal

@magical-spit

@that-one-little-soybean

@raizelchrysanderoctavius

@zatarias-pandora

@unknownmystery22

@anotheranotherblogwoah

@leclercdream

@charlesgirl16

@kikiki04

@dullypully

@awritingtree

@stylesmoonlight12

@pippyth3hippy

@hc-dutch

@whosra

@lancestrollsgf

@dying-inside-but-its-classy

@vulkaari

@random-human02

@daisyfreecs

@fandommaniac07

@mbioooo0000

@novelswithariana

@exotic-iris13

@natashaalinovaromanoff1984

@colmathgames2

@ajordan2020

@sltwins

@nichmeddar

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88]

ooooh, thanks for the tag, @themareverine!!! let's see what I can come up with!

2024 faves

books (**are re-reads)

**The Help, Kathryn Stockett

**A Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin

**Outlander, Diana Gabaldon

Shadow and Bone (Book 1), Leigh Bardugo

I've had an absolutely awful case of reading-ADHD this year, so I haven't been able to dive into much. A goal of mine for 2025 is to read so much more than just a teeny list like above 😅.

movies (**are re-watches)

**The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

**The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

**The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

**The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

**The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

**The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

**Pearl Harbor

**Top Gun (1986)

**Top Gun: Maverick

yes, I re-watch tons of 'comfort' movies rather than exploring anything new, don't judge

tv shows (**are re-watches)

The Rings of Power

**Black Sails

House of the Dragon

**Grey's Anatomy

Pretty Little Liars

**Criminal Minds

songs/artists

Lost It All, Black Veil Brides

Take Me Back To Eden, Sleep Token

The Apparition, Sleep Token

Far From Home (The Raven), Sam Tinnesz

Hurt, Johnny Cash

Numb, Nathan Wagner

Something In The Orange, Zach Bryan

A Bar Song (Tipsy), Shaboozey

Last Of My Kind, Shaboozey, Paul Cauthen

The Seed, AURORA, Anna Lapwood

Indigo, Sam Barber, Avery Anna

Too Sweet, Hozier

Austin (Boots Stop Workin'), Dasha

Ain't No Love In Oklahoma, Luke Combs

Beautiful Things, Benson Boone

probably a million more that I'm missing, but this is a good chunk

favorite everydays

a little silky terrier menace named Roxie 🐾🐾🐾

my job (never thought a pharmacist girlie could turn into a QA girlie, but here we are, and forever grateful to be learning).

writing

getting distracted by Tumblr when I should be writing 😅

Kindle (hilarious, since for the longest time I refused to consider reading from anything except fanfiction.net on my tablet, or a physical book in my hands)

Yankee Candle Scent Melt cups (seriously, it's an addiction at this point, special mention to Home Sweet Home, Lemon Lavender, Spiced Pumpkin, and Red Apple Wreath)

No pressure tags: @ruralnorth, @catz4ever, @bigblissandlove1, @eye-of-mordor, @oh-great-authoress, @floydsglasses, @dwarveslikeshinythings, @gauntletgirlie, and anyone else who wants to join!

oh this looks fun! i'm playing even if i wasn't tagged! stolen from @jolapeno

2024 faves ✨💛

books **audiobooks/dramas

Wolverine: Origins Weapon X, Mark Cerasini, David Alan Mack, Hugh Matthews.

Unveiling Grace, Lynn K. Wilder

Tell No Lies, Allison Brennan

Chill Factor, Sandra Brown

**Wolverine: The Long Night

** Wolverine: The Lost Trail

movies *are rewatches

Homestead (2024) dir. Ben Smallbone i watched this believing it was a movie, don't judge me.

Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) dir. Shawn Levy

*Real Steel (2011) dir. Shawn Levy

*Logan (2017) dir. James Mangold

Beyond Glory (2016) dir. Larry Brand

Paperback Hero (1999) dir. Antony J. Bowman

Australia (2008) dir. Baz Luhrmann

Transformers One (2024) dir. Josh Cooly

tv shows *are rewatches

Landman

Homestead

Lioness

Tulsa King

Troppo

*Terra Nova

X-Men: The Animated Series

X-Men: '97

albums songs/artists

Hugh Jackman. just about anything from him, specifically The Greatest Show, Come Alive, and A Million Dreams.

In the Secret Place, Jackie Baker

Onaga, JJ Hairston

More than a Conqueror, Bethany Music

I Drove All Night, Roy Orbison

All Things are Possible, Hillsong Worship

P31, Hannah Barr

Liar (Truth Is), Allison Eide

Cold War, Swingin' Hammers

+ a billion others I just don't have time to list

nintendo switch

Stardew Valley

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order

Princess Peach Showtime

favorite everydays (currently)

Wolverine yes he's in my everyday, lol

My customized Wolverine ringtone and text tone

Christ Glorified Fitness on YouTube Christina is amazing and I love her.

Kindle Scribe

Airpods Pro

Casetify Wolverine phone case

Standing Yellow Phone Charger

Remo 10" tambourine

Snacklebox

Nintendo Switch

Citrine Solitaire Ring

Hoka Clifton 8's

Moonstone Seven's The Hair Plop

tagging without pressure: @thevoicefromanotherworld @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @itsgoghtime @bpmiranda @hereforthehitsbaby @lubdubology

[kamaluhkhan]

LONG HOT SUMMER NIGHT

pairing: luke castellan x fem!poseidon!reader word count: 8.4k chapter summary: it's the summer solstice and olympus is throwing a party! thalia notices the tension between you and luke, poseidon gives you some relationship advice and you punch the god of desire in the face. warnings: angst! jealous reader. lots of drinking. complicated relationships. reader dealing with ptsd + survivor's guilt (post-titan war). mention of injuries + blood. creepy guy pushing reader to hook up. ending is a bit steamy but no actual smut. spoilers for the entire pjo (book) series. no betrayal (au where chris was the one who sided w kronos and led the titan army) so slightly ooc luke <3 also reader is in a band called the midnight sirens and is born on the summer solstice! author's note: thank you so much for all the love for part 1!! summer is almost over and this is very much a summer series BUT summer's not over yet !!! hope y'all enjoy this one too and thanks 4 reading 💙

part 1 | series masterlist

♪: long hot summer night by jimi hendrix

mail to: 

Luke Castellan Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill 3.141 Farm Road Long Island, New York 11954

LUKE! 

I’m sitting in my kitchen right now, watching Percy make us blue blueberry pancakes and hoping he doesn’t burn down my kitchen while doing so. I caved and agreed to take him to Disneyland while he’s here and breakfast was part of the deal, but I think I might regret it later. 

We went surfing yesterday. It was Percy’s first time, but he was (unsurprisingly) amazing at it. I still can’t get over how beautiful the beaches are and the waves — gods, the waves are unreal. You’d seriously love it here. It’s like every day is summer. You have to come visit. PLEASE come visit!!!!

- [your initial]

P.S. The band and I are working on some new music, which means I won’t make it to camp again this summer. I’m sorry ;( Fingers crossed I’ll make it next year. 

P.P.S. hi luke! happy to report that i did not burn down my sister’s kitchen. anyways, can’t wait to kick your ass in sword-fighting this summer. xoxo, percy

THREE YEARS LATER 

the first time you visited olympus, you had been sent on a quest to retrieve zeus’ stolen lightning bolt, bringing luke and charles beckendorf along with you. you had missed the summer solstice deadline, but still tried to reason with the king of the gods when presenting the symbol of power, maybe calling him out once or twice along the way. before zeus could strike you down for your boldness, poseidon stepped in. the war between them was averted in fear of a much larger, looming threat; an ominous introduction for what was to come in the next chapter of your life.

another time, the gods debated whether or not they should kill you, some seeing you as a threat to their future. that was the day you accepted your destiny, not wanting your brother percy or your cousin nico to deal with the weight of the great prophecy. 

your last visit to olympus was on your 18th birthday, after helping to defeat kronos and his army. you made the gods swear to stop neglecting their kids and to allow all demigods, regardless of whether their parent was an olympian or not, to have a home at camp half-blood; to treat their children as children rather than heroes as pawns in their twisted games.

needless to say, it’s quite strange, being back here under very, very different circumstances, where the gods invited camp half-blood’s senior counsellors and staff to join in their summer solstice festivities.

it’s not every day you’ll be invited to a party on olympus; you’re determined to have a good time, to have fun. there’s already an abundance of music, dancing, food, or alcohol, and the night is just getting started.

you’re happy to be there with new and old friends, but you’re ecstatic when you see that thalia grace is there, too. 

“immortality looks good on you, t!” you compliment, raising your voice slightly over the music.

thalia preens, and you bask in her silver glow. 

“bet you wish you took the gods up on their offer, huh,” she teases. then, her eyes widen. “oh - shit! it’s your birthday! happy birthday!” 

thalia tackles you with another hug; even after all these years, she still smells like pine trees. she grabs two goblets of honeyed wine and hands one to you as you catch up. you eagerly gulp the sweet drink, until you’re reaching for another while listening to her stories about adventures she’d been on with the hunters of artemis. 

about halfway through her story about fighting off a manticore during a snow storm, a nymph appears with a platter of the ripest of fruit – sweet plums and fresh figs, tantalising pomegranates, succulent grapes and crisp apples. 

“oh my gods, this is the best apple i’ve had in my entire life!” thalia exclaims after indulging in a taste, herself giddy from a few goblets of wine. “where’s luke? he’s gotta try this — he’s always reminding us to eat more fruit. luke!” 

you hadn’t kept track of luke, at least not on purpose. you assumed he’d been off partying with van or his siblings, and, probably, avoiding you. wherever he was, thalia calls his name twice more and, like a ghost, luke appears. 

“i’m here, t.” luke’s voice is a deep, steady rumble floating above the music. his cheeks are slightly flushed, either from the heat or the drinks. likely both. “what’s up?”

“you need to try this.” thalia shoves the apple in his mouth before luke can respond. 

luke takes a bite, and some juice drips down his chin. you, in a honey-soaked haze, think about running your tongue over to catch it, but he beats you to it, wiping it away with the back of his hand. 

probably for the best.

“holy shit. yeah, it’s good.”

thalia, a sparkle in her eyes, urges you to try it as well. from across the makeshift triangle the three of you had formed, luke tosses the apple your way. you catch it effortlessly, and sink your teeth into it. 

you’ve almost overwhelmed by the burst of flavor. the fruit is just the right amount of tart to balance out the sweetness, and it’s damn near the best crunch you’ve ever experienced.

“good is an understatement,” you say after another bite. a distant memory crosses your mind. “i wonder if these are the same ones we almost got killed by a hellhound for.” 

thalia shakes her head, laughing in disbelief. “all because luke said we needed more vitamin c.”

“i was just looking out for us!” luke guffaws. “how was i supposed to know that persephone owned an apple orchard in connecticut?”

you pat his shoulder, the three of you smiling at the memory. “let’s call it an honest mistake.”

“well if annabeth had been with us by then, i’m sure that she wouldn’t have made that same honest mistake.” 

“okay, but she’s the daughter of athena —”

you let luke and thalia slip back into their playful bickering as if no time has passed. you listen and continue eating that glorious apple, enjoying how the golden glow of your shared past fills whatever distance might have grown between the three of you. 

somewhere down memory lane, luke’s amber eyes flick towards you.

“hey, you’ve got some….” without another word, luke suddenly reaches over to brush away a trail of juice with his thumb before sticking the finger in his mouth to savour the taste. he holds your gaze as he does so, and you feel a familiar kind of heat rush through your body — not from alcohol or summer sun, but from luke. 

it’s such an intimate gesture that you almost forget that you’re at some extravagant party on mount olympus, where gods and half-bloods and a whole bunch of other mythological creatures are celebrating the start of summer by essentially getting drunk together, until thalia clears her throat. 

“okay, well, seems like the two of you might want some alone time.”

luke’s cheeks grow more flushed than before, and his eyes widen as if realizing what he’d done.

“oh, we don’t need —”

“we’re not —”

you and luke both stumble over your words; thalia just smiles knowingly. 

“i’m gonna go flirt with that nymph,” she announces, pointing across the grand marble pavilion.

“i thought — doesn’t artemis sort of frown upon that sort of thing?” you ask.

“she makes exceptions on holidays. besides, i’m her favourite. you guys have fun.” thalia winks at you and walks away.

you glance at luke and, gods, there’s so much history between you. 

the time you jumped into an ocean full of sirens to save luke from drowning? you have a scar running down your forearm where one of them scratched you as you struggled to get luke towards the surface. 

or when you took turns holding up the sky while on a quest to save lady artemis and defeat the titan atlas? it’s evident in the matching streaks of grey that you each have running through your hair. whenever you see your reflection in the mirror, you remember how you couldn’t save your cousin bianca di angelo earlier that day, and how nico has had to grow up without a sister because of a promise you broke.

how about when you, luke, and one of your best friends were sent on a mission to destroy the princess andromeda, the headquarters of kronos’ army? only the two of you survived, and sometimes you can still feel luke squeezing your hand pike he did during charles beckendorf’s burial shroud ceremony while you both cried.

or when luke took a sword between the ribs for you because he, somehow, knew the one spot the curse of achilles left you vulnerable? he can only slouch for so long before the bones there start to ache.

so, yeah. there’s way too much history, and so many tangled threads, and now really isn’t an ideal time to unravel it all. 

“i’m gonna go find my dad,” you blurt out and disappear into the crowd with no real intention of finding your father. 

the once sweet apple now tastes rotten on your tongue; you rid yourself of it in exchange for some more wine. you’re determined to have fun — no pain or heartache or grief. 

you’ve all had enough of that for three lifetimes. 

summer — age 14

“sorry your birthday was ruined.” 

luke exhaled sharply when you pressed a disinfectant-soaked cloth to the wound on his leg.

“hold still,” was all you mumbled in response, brows knitted together as you wrapped the cut in gauze. 

once you were done with his leg, you moved on to luke’s hands, burned by poisonous acid. the four of you had run into a hydra earlier that night. you managed to wound it enough so you could all get away, but not before a few injuries were sustained. 

you were uncharacteristically quiet as you worked. you only met luke’s gaze to warn him before pouring some nectar on his wounds. you let luke hold your hand, tightly, as the liquid dripped through his fingers and down to yours, first right, then left. the pain was instant, seering almost as much as the hydra acid, but it was over quickly. the last thing you did was bandage each hand before getting up. 

“i’m…i’m gonna check on thalia and annabeth. i’ll take first watch.”

luke caught your hand before you got away.

“wait. you’re bleeding.” he pointed to the cut on your brow. you had been so preoccupied in making sure everyone else was safe that you let crimson liquid drip down your face. it probably stung, too, based on your grimace.

luke wiped away the blood with his sleeve, used nectar to disinfect the wound, and dressed it with a fresh bandage, working silently as you did.

“it’s still your birthday,” luke finally said once he was done. “you get some rest; i’ll take first watch.”

you gave him a small, strained smile before checking on the others. 

later that night, you stayed up with luke anyways. 

seemingly out of nowhere, you handed him your portable cassette player. luke stared at it for a moment, unwilling to comprehend just what you were offering and, more importantly, why. 

you and luke had grown accustomed to sharing things: flannels, socks, makeshift beds and scavenged food. but this —

it was your aunt’s. 

you never met your mother, who’d left you as a baby, and of course, poseidon was too busy tending to his underwater kingdom to step in as a parent. your aunt raised you as her own. and then you lost her, too. 

you kept her cassette player buried deep in your bag with some mixtapes she had made and ones you’d stolen throughout the years. when it wasn’t your turn to keep watch, luke would sometimes catch you with headphones on, looking up at the stars. 

luke liked to think he knew you well; all those subtle elements that made you — the crack of your knuckles, the cadence of your voice, the slope of your nose, the dreams of your childhood. engraved in his own personhood. bones and all. 

and, still: he didn’t know you, not entirely. 

you’d only allowed luke to listen with you once, maybe twice. he’d never forget what it was like: knees pressed together and heads just as close to keep the wires from stretching too far; you gushing about the magic of jimi hendrix, recounting memories that echoed through gentle guitar riffs; luke yearning for one more song to play, for another a wistful smile of yours to appear. luke, wishing to linger in your private oasis a beat longer before you pushed him out again and closed the door behind him. 

the one lock luke couldn’t crack: your grief, and how you carried on so buoyantly despite its weight.

well, there you were, presenting the key to luke as an offering. a sacrifice for something luke would never ask of you. 

“this….” luke swallowed the lump in his throat, refusing to look at you. he turned the device over in his bandaged hands, the metal smooth, though well-worn. “you can’t just —”

leave. you can’t just leave. you can’t just —

“hey.” 

your hand over his, forcing him to stop spiralling and look at you. 

right away, luke regretted it. a small sliver of him, however delusional, had hoped that you were joking. 

you weren’t. behind you, there was an empty space where you had previously wedged your sleeping bag. your backpack was already strapped around your shoulders, fully packed. 

“i need to leave, luke. we can’t stay together. it’s too dangerous.”

“you don’t need to —”

“there’s more of us, now,” you interrupted, pulling your hand away to rest on your thigh. “four demigods together isn’t ideal. we’ve been attracting more monsters. more deadly monsters.”

“that would happen, anyways. it always has whether it’s the four of us, the two of us, or….” 

luke stopped his sentence short, not even wanting to give you the idea to go out on your own, even though you’d probably been thinking about leaving for some time. 

you made reckless decisions sometimes, but this didn’t seem to be one of them.

“well, it’s happening more.” your voice was steady, too steady. luke imagined you rehearsing just what to say to counter the inevitable backlash. 

luke shook his head. “i’d be dead if it weren’t for you.”

“you almost died because of me,” you clipped. you lifted a hand to touch the bruise on luke’s jaw, but let it drop just as quickly. “you know that children of the big three cause more trouble. maybe we managed it when it was the two of us, but now, there’s more to consider. a child of poseidon and a child of zeus, travelling together. it’s like we’re asking to be killed. it’s too dangerous.”

“that’s our life,” luke snapped. “you can’t just run from it.” from us.

you faltered, looking back to where annabeth and thalia were sleeping peacefully. 

oh. he must have said that last part out loud, too. 

“you know i’m right,” is all you said.

luke could only shake his head again. because, fine, you weren’t entirely wrong. it was more dangerous — but it was danger luke hoped you’d all face, together. 

“i’ve made up my mind,” you added, an anchor in the sand.

“don’t leave.” luke’s words came out as a prayer. if he offered something, maybe you’d stay.

you paused to take a shaky breath. “this isn’t goodbye, luke. i swear to poseidon…fuck, i swear to all the gods that this isn’t goodbye.”

luke couldn’t speak. there were tears bubbling in his throat, threatening to spill. 

“so, keep this for me,” you whispered, once again placing your hand on top of luke’s. his fingers gripped your cassette player tightly, like it was the only piece of driftwood leftover from a shipwreck, keeping him from sinking into the cold, dark nothing. “you’ll give it back when we see each other again.”

a promise. 

“fine,” luke conceded, though he wanted to scream at you. he wanted to argue like little kids — petty, loud, meaningless, back and forth until tears streamed down cheeks and throats were raw. 

but, you were leaving, one way or another. luke didn’t want this shared memory to be tainted if it might be your last.

“you have to take this, then. give it back when we see each other again.”

luke removed the chain from around his neck, the one that held the key to his childhood home. he placed it around yours, instead.

he didn’t need the key now, but his mother had given it to him when he was six. before he knew what it meant to be the son of hermes, god of thieves. 

call him sentimental, but luke had kept it. just in case he ever got lost. 

“if you’re ever back in connecticut, you have a home.”

“yeah, okay.” you smiled softly. 

it fell just as quickly. 

“take care of them,” you told him. “of yourself, too. i’ll see you again when it’s safe.”

luke didn’t ask when it would be safe, because the truth is that it might never be.

“because you want your cassette player back?” luke joked, instead trying to lighten the mood, to capture one last moment of brightness.

you laughed softly to not wake the others. 

“yeah. that too.”

you pressed your forehead to his, something you hadn’t done since you were kids. 

“i’ll see you again,” you repeated.

without another word, you got up and jogged away. luke shut his eyes, refusing to see you become nothing but a shadow. 

(you looked back several times, but he couldn’t see through the darkness.)

now

call the gods out on their bullshit (you encourage it), but if they have one thing going for them, it’s that the olympians know how to throw a party. 

the night grows darker, yet somehow becomes more lively. demeter and persephone had supplied a generous amount of fresh, decadent fruit, and dionysus an even more generous amount of wine. apollo starts a karaoke corner and you’re just tipsy enough to agree to sing a duet with him in order to break the ice. apparently, he’s a big midnight sirens fan and had seen your band when you headlined at glastonbury festival. you smile to yourself, imagining your bandmates’ faces if you told them that the god of music had watched you perform.

as you hand the microphone to a giggling dryad, the sound of your name washes over like gentle waves on a shore.

“if it isn’t my sweet, summer child!” your father brings you in for a hug and an ocean breeze engulfs you — salt and sand and sun. 

“hi dad,” you exhale as you pull away. 

you hadn’t seen each other in a while, but poseidon looks the same. he’s dressed in a turquoise hawaiian shirt and birkenstocks with a crown of seashells on his head. there’s a cocktail umbrella in his glass, a slice of pineapple wedged onto the rim. you’re about to ask him how he managed to secure a pina colada and where you might find one, too.

“that was quite the performance!” poseidon takes an eager sip of his drink, green eyes sparkling like sea glass in the sun. “i must tell you: your newest album is all the rage in atlantis. the nereids and merpeople can’t seem to get enough of it and, truthfully, i find myself playing it on repeat as well. you’re quite talented.” 

you try not to let your shock slip through, instead smiling and asking how things are in his underwater kingdom, but you’re….touched at your father’s unexpected praise.

the gods aren’t perfect, and your father is no exception. they’re divine beings who have time to conceive children, but not to raise them. there’s a long history of them abandoning, mistreating, and manipulating their own offspring. of course, being the prophecy child, it became practically impossible for your father to ignore you; you’re sure that being dubbed the saviour of olympus gives him bragging rights with his immortal family. even with their sworn promise to change, it’s impossible not to resent the gods in some ways. 

still, you feel comforted by your father's presence at times — when you catch the perfect wave on your surfboard, for example, or when you sit on your fire escape during a storm after a bad day. it’s been like that pretty much all your life: poseidon there in spirit, not in practice. despite everything, he’s watched over you, and percy, throughout the years.

and here poseidon is now, grinning at you like you’re his pride and joy. 

“enough about aquatic politics.” he pats your shoulder enthusiastically after telling you about the struggles of keeping humans from overfishing. “i came over to wish you a happy birthday. and to give you this.” 

poseidon reaches into the pocket of his shirt and hands you something you’d long thought gone: a leather cord with several clay beads and a silver key.

“i found it off the california coast,” he explains. “i kept meaning to get it to you, but i suppose time has a way of getting away from us, immortal or not.”

a warmth grows in your chest as you run your thumb over your old camp necklace, bright and full. it had fallen off one day when you’d gone surfing, and you assumed it was lost to the ocean. you'd been given a fresh leather cord when you arrived at camp earlier this summer, but it felt empty. hollow.

“thanks, dad.” 

you smile at him as you put on the necklace; it feels like coming home. your father then asks you about your summer so far.

you tell him all about your life as of late, until you catch a glimpse of luke with van on a marble bench at the other end of the pavilion. van is sitting in luke’s lap, and they lean over to whisper something in his ear before kissing his cheek. 

you freeze mid-way through your sentence.

sensing the shift in mood, poseidon frowns. he turns his head to follow your gaze.

“ah.” poseidon turns back to you and clears his throat. “now, i don’t mean to pry, but i saw you earlier with the castellan boy.”

you flush at the fact that your moment with luke was witnessed by your own father. “dad —”

“did you know in ancient greece, throwing someone an apple and having them catch it is considered a marriage proposal?”

“i’m pretty sure that was disproven,” you scoff.

poseidon raises an eyebrow at you, clearly amused. “which one of us was actually there, hm?” and though you roll your eyes, you can’t argue with that. “i just wanted to know if there was a wedding happening in the near future.”

you almost choke on the last remnants of your wine. “dad.”

“i’m kidding. i’m kidding! mr. castellan seems otherwise occupied.” 

“yeah, it does seem that way,” you grumble.

poseidon puts a hand on your shoulder, firm but reassuring. “regardless: if you find someone who would go to tartarus and back with you, someone who would fight alongside you every step of the way, you hold on to them. there’s only so much time you mortals have on this earth.”

you sigh — easier said than done — but your father is trying, so you manage a nod.

“i’ll keep that in mind.”

“now, i better go — ” poseidon looks over your shoulder, where the air behind you starts to feel staticky. “it seems a disagreement is brewing between zeus and hades. they always get into it whenever dionysus makes the wine a bit too strong. brother, put away the lightning bolt —” and he rushes away to prevent another divine conflict from arising.

left to your own devices, you venture over to the food table, finding an array of fresh and dried fruit, breads, cured meat, fresh oysters and, of course, more wine. you grab a goblet and a few dried figs.

“careful, i heard dionysus made the wine extra strong tonight,” someone warns, creeping up beside you. the voice is soft and alluring, and you feel something tug at your heart. 

you do a double take when you turn to them; the person is devilishly handsome, a golden aura paired with a golden smile. 

(you will soon find out that the god flirting with you is the son of ares and aphrodite, the latter of which takes the appearance of whoever the onlooker loves. as it turns out, her son appears in the same way. 

all this to say: it doesn’t mean anything that this god looks like luke castellan to you. 

it doesn’t mean anything at all.)

“i’m eros.”

“hey. i’m —”

“i know who you are, savior of olympus.” eros winks at you. “i just never realized you were so beautiful.”

your cheeks heat up as you take a sip of your drink.

oh, shit. 

okay. the literal god of desire and pleasure is flirting with you. 

you’re flattered, really, and maybe the wine has gotten to your head, but you’re not eager to turn him away.

“well, i’ve definitely heard about you, and the rumors do not do you justice,” you quip, painting on a flirtatious smile.

eros puffs out his chest, clearly pleased. 

over the next few minutes, you decide that eros can hold a decent conversation, asking you the classic first date questions about your likes and dislikes, and he’s cute enough that you wouldn’t mind things going further. 

(he might be a god, but he’s no luke. you push that thought away, and force yourself to flirt with helios. eros. right, eros.)

eros leans in close, pretends to listen to you, lets his gaze drop every so often to the deep v-neck of your shirt.  

“no way! 13 going on 30 is a classic,” you argue. you nudge your shoulder into eros’s playfully, and let the contact between you linger. eros, the inspiration for cupid himself, has angel wings, and you feel them brush softly against your burning skin. 

“it’s totally overrated!” eros exclaims. “also, the childhood friends to lovers trope gives people false hope.”

“it’s not false hope. it’s about the buildup to their happily ever after,” you reason, swallowing some wine to dislodge the lump in your throat.

eros shakes his head. “trust me, baby, it’s all about the instant attraction. that’s where the excitement is.” 

he’s so close now, you can smell the sharp alcohol on his breath. not wine, but something stronger.

“oh? what do you mean by that?” you lean impossibly closer, trailing a finger down his chest.

eros smirks, placing a hand on your thigh. “want me to demonstrate?” 

not even a second after you whisper a yes, eros crashes his lips onto yours, and you will yourself to kiss back. he slides his tongue in your mouth, runs his hands over your body. 

you’re making out with the god of desire and passion, so, objectively, it’s a good first kiss: soft around the edges and firm where it needs to be.

sure — you feel nothing, no real spark, but it’s almost enough to fill the hole in your heart in the shape of a certain son of hermes. 

the son of hermes who has moved on and is in a loving relationship with a perfect emotionally available partner. 

so, it’s fine. 

this, this thing with eros, is fine. 

you’re fine.

eros pulls away first, but keeps a hand on your cheek.

“let's get out of here.” 

he grabs your wrist before you have a chance to answer. you stand up, let him weave you through the crowd towards the stairs of the pavilion. apparently, his room is just through the garden. 

as he tugs you along, he looks back at you, smiling. under the glow of the stars, eros looks just like luke, except it’s becoming harder to ignore that he isn’t luke and that makes you feel all sorts of nauseous. your camp necklace weighs on your chest and, in particular, the silver key that you’d kept for all those years burns through your skin. 

lightheaded, you pull away from eros’ grip just as you reach the top of the stairs and place a hand on the column next to you to steady yourself.

eros turns around sharply. “what is it?”

“i changed my mind, actually. let’s just…keep talking here.”

eros grabs your wrist again, his grip tighter than before. “don’t be a tease.” his tone is ever-so-gentle, but there’s an edge behind his words. 

this time, your voice comes out more assertive. “i just changed my mind. that doesn’t make me a tease.”

“come on, baby, don’t you wanna experience what real passion is? this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that a million girls would kill for. you’d be an idiot to pass it up.” he brags, and you’re this close to breaking this guy’s nose, god or not. 

“i don’t care,” you snap, struggling to break free from his grip. “and i’m not your baby.”

“okay, whatever,” eros rolls his eyes, but quickly plasters on an arrogant grin. “we’ll go somewhere private and i’ll call you whatever you want.”

he manages to drag you down two steps as you strain against his iron grip, now almost cutting off your circulation. your heartbeat quickens and you feel dizzy. finally, you grab onto the railing for leverage and use your strength to rip out of his grip, forcing eros to stop in his tracks.

“what is it now?” he snaps, whipping his head around once more. 

he looks nothing like luke, now.

“just stop, eros.”

“listen,” he starts, speaking to you almost mockingly, like you’re a naive little kid. so much for being the savior of olympus. “trust me, i know what people want, so you don’t have to be shy. i promise to be the best you’ve ever had —”

“eros, is it?” the rest of the party is in full motion, but here’s percy, giving eros one of the most intense death stares you’ve ever seen. percy, your little brother who talks to lonely fish at the aquarium; who, if you cut open, would bleed blue m&m’s; who would never let anyone, god or otherwise, hurt someone he loves. “i’m gonna have to ask you to let go of my sister.”

“mind your own business, kid,” eros hisses. “we’re kinda in the middle of something.” he tries to move you down another step, but you stand your ground.

annabeth, no longer the scared little seven year old you, luke, and thalia found behind a dumpster, is also glaring at liam from the top of the stairs. one of her hands rests firmly on her belt, where she keeps her dagger. 

“i’d back off, if i were you,” she warns. “wouldn’t want to cause a scene.”

“just mind your own business,” eros snarls.

“they said leave her alone,” thalia asserts, walking over once she sees what’s happening. “and you don’t wanna mess with us, trust me.” she clenches her hand into a fist.

“who the fuck are you? her bodyguards?” 

“just let her go,” percy orders. “my sister can do a lot better than a minor god with a major god complex.” 

eros growls, baring his teeth at percy. “you impertinent little shit.”

as soon as eros lunges for your brother, you tug one of his wings towards you, hard. he whips around and you take the opportunity to punch him in the face. he doubles over, golden ichor gushing from his nose.

“i’d be careful if i were you, baby,” you seethe. “you wouldn’t want to go up against the demigods who led an army against kronos and won. unless, of course, humiliation is a kink of yours.” you laugh humorlessly at the way eros scowls at your words. “to each their own,” you continue. “but i’m not in the mood to fuck an entitled creep with angel wings to compensate for his tiny dick. you better fucking respect that, and leave us alone while you’re at it.”

eros’ flirtatious smile is long gone, replaced with the kind of anger only entitled, self-important jerks have when they don’t get what they want and they’ve taken a few blows to their ego. 

call it stupidity or arrogance, but his only response is a punch delivered right back to your face. 

you hear a crack upon impact, and pain radiates from your nose. you stumble, but percy manages to reach out and catch you before you fall down the stairs. he holds you as thalia and annabeth create a barrier between you and eros. you hear them shouting at eros over the music, but their exact words don’t register.

you lick your lips, tasting blood. your ears are ringing, and everything is suddenly all fuzzy. percy tries his best, but you slump your body weight into his and he almost topples over.

“i’ve got her.” luke’s calm and measured voice cuts through the chaos. you feel a strong, familiar arm wrap around your waist to steady you. “from what i remember, you were too much of a coward to even step foot on the battlefield, so i’d listen to her if you know what’s good for you.” in a haze, you guess that luke is directing his sharp words towards eros, before turning to the others and instructing: “you guys take care of this — find clarisse if you need back up.”

somehow, you find yourself over in a small secluded temple, sitting on a window bench overlooking the clouds as luke sits next to you.

like most of olympus, the building is made of marble with gold accents; this one has roses engraved on the walls, and the space smells like flowery perfume. it’s much quieter than the pavilion, though you can hear laughter and music in the distance. it’s cooler, too, but not by much; even without all the body heat, you're left with sticky summer air, and luke’s breath on yours, sweet with wine and ripe fruit, as he carefully examines your injury.

you feel your head spinning all over again. maybe it’s the alcohol, or the adrenaline, or the fact that the two of you haven’t been this close in a while — probably a dangerous mix of all three. 

you know (from trying not to but ultimately not being able to pull your attention away from him after all) that he’s had a few drinks as well; it seems like the two of you ignore each other best when you’re sober.

“thought the curse of achilles would protect you from nosebleeds.”

“guess it doesn’t protect against —” what did percy call eros? “ — minor gods who have major god complexes,” you recite.

luke looks slightly amused. “that’s a shame,” he hums. “would have been nice to get one birthday without being injured.”

a smile creeps onto your face, despite the dull ache from your nose.

“you remembered.”

“of course i remember,” luke almost scoffs like the mere suggestion of forgetting what day you were born is an insult to his very character. he meets your gaze, and you could melt when he offers you that lopsided smile of his, painfully familiar. “happy birthday, aquagirl,” and it’s the softest he’s spoken to you in a while. just like old times.

he remembers. 

somewhere within him, luke holds on to fragments of you.

he wipes the blood off your face, the sleeve of his silk white button-down now stained crimson. “how’s your hand?” he asks. 

you flex your fingers. “it’s been better,” you answer, your knuckles slightly aching. “totally worth it.”

“i guess all those years away didn’t change anything. still willing to put a god in their place, huh?”

all those years away. 

the reminder feels like a stab to the heart, and you’re worried that it might burst the comfortable bubble you and luke had drunkenly stumbled into. 

thankfully, luke continues:

“the kids really take after you.”

he says as a joke, mostly, but there’s a sincerity in those deep brown eyes of his, too. something you also hadn’t seen from him in a while. 

the kids, who you’d in some ways raised together when monsters were trying to kill you and the gods didn’t care enough to stop it. 

the family you and luke had built together despite being born into the world of greek tragedies. 

“as if annabeth wasn’t threatening to pull the dagger you gave her, skywalker,” the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. “besides, they’re not kids anymore.”

“yeah.” he pauses. “neither are we.” 

luke’s fingers trace your camp necklace, brush against your collarbone. the breath hitches in your throat.

here you are again, at the edge of something real and very scary, and you fear luke is going to push the two of you over. 

but he doesn’t. instead, luke suggests, jokingly: “maybe we should start a fight club at camp.” 

you take that as a good sign: like you, he’s hoping to preserve the playfulness between you before everything else seeps in and ruins it. before you’re brought back to the present, where you’re practically ignoring each other.

where you’re fine, but really. 

you snort. “chiron and mr. d would love that.”

“like they’d ever find out!” luke explains. “you know the first rule of fight club —”

“don’t talk about fight club,” you finish together. 

luke laughs, even though it’s not that funny. you laugh, too. 

and that’s the thing that really, truly gets you. 

try as you might to ignore it, some days it’s hard to forget the pain and heartache and grief. 

you still feel like your life is a battlefield; you still see the ghosts of everyone you couldn’t save even though people call you a savior; you still have those scars, inside and out, that seemed healed but ache every once and a while. 

but that isn’t all. 

sometimes it hurts more thinking back to the good times and knowing, deep down, you can never go back.

summer — age 13

“ugh — you think with all their power, the gods could help stop global warming,” you groaned, swatting away a mosquito that tried to land on you. “do you think they have air conditioning on olympus?”

“oh, for sure,” luke quipped. he gave you a lopsided smile, his curls sticking to his forehead, drenched in sweat. 

it was the summer solstice, the longest and the hottest day of the year so far. the two of you had found a perfectly good hideout, but luke insisted that this place would be worth the move. 

he’d been leading you down side streets for what felt like forever. the sun had already set, and you were very close to passing out from the heat, until luke finally stopped at a door behind an alley, with a sign reading CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS. 

luke knelt down to do whatever son-of-hermes lock magic he had to do to get the door open. he flipped a switch, and you winced at the sudden overwhelming brightness. 

the destination was different than the hideouts you usually sprung for: those small, hole-in-the-wall type places. instead, this space was big and bright, filled with arcade games and fun posters and neon colours. the type of place a kid might have a party or where a group of normal teenagers might spend their friday night. 

“what…what is this?”

“you thought i forgot, didn’t you?” luke smirked at you. he sat down on the colourful carpet, taking out some snacks, a small plastic bag with coins, a wrapped box, and a plastic blue crown, and gestured for you to join.

you did, in fact, think that luke had forgotten your birthday. 

birthdays were bittersweet for children of gods, who were constantly reminded that any year could be their last, their youth cut short by monsters or prophecies or a fatal flaw. all the two of you usually did on either birthday was split any sweet treat you could get your hands on. 

it wasn’t a big deal, really, to skip that tradition of yours. there were much more urgent things to worry about, like finding food and water and shelter, and not being devoured by monsters. 

you did think it was strange that luke hadn’t so much as said happy birthday to you all day, but you knew that he loved you.

(like a friend loves a friend. nothing else, no matter how much your stomach fluttered at the thought of him.) 

“i wanted to surprise you,” luke explained once you claimed your spot next to him. he reached over to place the crown on your head. “i found this place a few days ago during a food run. it reminds me of where we had your —”

“eighth birthday party, yeah.” you smiled at the memory of running around and feeding quarters to every machine and trying every game, of your classmates singing happy birthday to you off-key before you all stuffed your faces with sickly sweet confetti cake. 

truthfully, you never thought about having another celebration like that again.

but, it was five years from that faded childhood memory, and luke was presenting you with something you didn’t even realize you had needed: the chance to be a kid again.

“so,” luke got up, a wide smile on his face. he held the plastic bag in one hand, extending the other to you. “which do you wanna play first?”

you started with space invaders, then moved on to dragon’s lair and pac-man. you took a break before street fighter ii so that luke could ceremoniously light a candle and present a cupcake that had been tossed around in his bag (but you were still very, very grateful for), along with fresh batteries for your portable cassette player. he had made you a mixtape too, though you couldn’t figure out how. 

your last stop was a photobooth. you vowed to keep those pictures — a collection of you and luke together, smiling bright and colourful, goofing off and laughing — for the rest of your life.

now

those moments from past summers are like popsicles melting in the sun: tangible for a limited time before leaving you with a sickly sweet mess of what once was. 

you think about what happened earlier, how percy, annabeth, and thalia stepped in to protect you, still the brave kids you had once known so well. how luke is here with you now, taking care of you so tenderly even after you’ve silently agreed to give each other the cold shoulder. 

maybe luke is right. maybe all those years away didn’t change anything. 

except — once you leave this temple and the alcohol leaves your system, it won’t be the same. 

none of you are kids anymore, if you ever even were. 

“why’d you go for eros, anyway?” luke asks, breaking you away from your thoughts. he removes his sleeve from your nose since the bleeding seems to have finally stopped.

“you really wanna know?”

“yeah. most gods are assholes. and you’re…” luke places a hand close to your leg, pinky finger brushing your thigh. “you.”

“i went for eros because….well, honestly, i don’t think i cared who it was, as long as they made me forget you,” you admit, because what did you have to lose. you probably have a broken nose, you definitely have blood on your shirt, and your time with luke is running out. 

luke’s eyes darken. his fingers start to play with the hem of your shorts. 

“did it work?” his voice is a whisper, but he’s close enough that he’s crystal clear.

“no.”

it’s hard to determine who leans in first, but soon enough your lips are on luke’s — messy and urgent. noses bumping together, teeth clacking against each other. he cradles your face in his hands, and you move to straddle his waist. you taste wine on his tongue, and maybe a hint of sweet pears, but it’s overwhelmed by the salty, metallic taste of blood stained on your lips. when you run out of air, you pull away. it’s clearer now: you’re not dizzy from the alcohol or adrenaline, but dizzy from him. luke’s gaze is heavy on yours as he traces your top lip with his thumb.

“luke,” you whimper, itching to kiss him again. 

“you’re still bleeding.”

luke wipes away the blood with his thumb. before either of you can do or say anything more, there’s an echo of footsteps on the marble floor. a flower nymph, there to leave an offering and let you know that, while aphrodite encourages acts of love, she prefers it doesn’t happen in her place of worship. 

you realize that aphrodite also might not look so fondly at you kissing someone else in her place of worship after publicly rebuking her own son.

luke untangles himself from you, and you know that he’s been jolted back to reality, too. 

and, just like that, another moment has melted away.

your father was right. time has a way of slipping away for us, immortal or not.

summer — age 18

“hey, you awake?”  

“yeah,” you replied softly. sleep hadn’t been easy, in the days and weeks and months leading up to that final battle with kronos and his army. 

and once it was all over? 

you rested your head on luke’s shoulder, sword discarded at your feet and armour half-removed, as argus, the hundred-eyed security guard of olympus, drove a school bus with a dozen or so demigods back to camp.

“why’d you turn down their offer?” luke whispered.

oh.

"why...why do you ask?"

"i don't know." luke paused. "just curious, i guess."

you closed your eyes and replayed that moment on olympus when you refused the gift of immortality. the look of shock written on the gods’ faces. and on luke’s.

“i don’t care about living forever,” you told him bluntly.

forever seemed too long, especially for someone who was prophesied to die at 18.

you tilted your head up to meet luke’s gaze, and his messy curls brushed against your forehead. evidence of the battle was clear on his face: caked-on dirt and blossoming bruises and dried blood. 

behind him, outside the bus window, the world was flying by. a child who had fallen off their bike being comforted by a friend. two people sharing an mp3 player and a pair of earbuds. an elderly couple walking their dog.

“you once told me that this was our life,” you continued, gesturing towards the weapons and battle-worn kids, some quiet, others crying, many injured. “what if it didn’t have to be?” 

luke furrowed his brow. “do you mean….are you talking about leaving?”

you shrugged. running from monsters for your entire childhood then being the child of the great prophecy was a lot.

a break might be nice.

there was so much about the world, the one you’d fought and bled to protect, that you wanted to experience. 

maybe something closer to a normal life.

“would you ever leave camp?” you wondered, not really answering luke's question. 

“no,” luke replied instantly. his fingers started fiddling with the beads on his necklace. “i can’t just walk away, not after everything.”

“yeah, i get that.” and you did; you really, truly, did. the guilt of wanting to leave camp curled in your stomach like a venomous snake. you took a shaky breath. “let’s talk about this later, yeah? i’m tired, and we have the rest of — ”

the rest of the summer slipped away in the blink of an eye. gone, before you even had a real chance to say goodbye.

you closed your eyes and held on to luke, as if gripping his arm would anchor you to something you weren't ready to let go of, but in some ways needed to move on from.

it was no use, though. 

by the end of august, you’d be gone too. 

now 

you learned early on that the curse of achilles doesn’t protect you from hangovers.

you wake up the morning after the celebration on olympus with a deep, throbbing pain lodged in your temple and an uncomfortable swirling in your gut. parties and late nights at bars are common on tour, which means migraines are, too, so you have a routine to make sure you’re not out of commission for too long.

except this time, the aspirin and blue gatorade and dry toast don’t work. the sting in your brain and uneasiness in your stomach doesn’t go away, even after a few days. you haven’t been able to sleep, either.

desperate for a cure, you consult lou ellen, head counsellor of the hecate cabin, who you’d unexpectedly grown close to in the past few weeks. she mixes something for you, while asking if there’s something that’s been weighing on you.

you couldn't keep it in anymore; you tell her about the summer solstice and luke.  

later, with nothing but your thoughts and percy’s snoring occupying your time post-curfew, you grab your phone and flip it open, deciding to finally reach out to luke, when you get a text from him.

luke is already on the beach when you arrive, looking out onto the water. 

“hey,” you greet as you sit next to him on the sand, but not too close. “i was actually about to text you —”

“did you tell anyone that we kissed?” he interrupts. you can’t quite read his expression as he waits for you to answer.

“no, i didn’t,” you lie. “would it matter if i did?”

“well, i mean, word travels fast around camp, and i don’t want van finding out. it’s not like it meant anything.”

the throbbing in your brain becomes a sharper sting, the uneasiness in your stomach a tidal wave of nausea.

“it didn’t?” you hate how fragile your voice sounds, compared to luke’s stoic demeanor.

luke shrugs. “i mean, we were both drunk and the thing with eros happened…we just got caught up in the heat of the moment.” 

“you’re saying there’s nothing between us, then? nothing?” the word tastes bitter in your mouth.

luke turns away before he answers. “no. nothing.”

“then what about last summer?” you demand. you force yourself to keep it together, your tone firmer than before. “i guess that didn’t mean anything, either.”

“y/n…” he sighs. “i don’t know what you want me to say. we’re barely even friends anymore. you come back here, after all this time, after so much shit happened, and expect us all to drop everything to fit you back into our lives. but, you don't. whatever you came here for, it's not here for you. there's nothing to go back to. we moved on. i moved on, and i can’t deal with you —" 

“got it,” you snap, already turning to walk away. “loud and fucking clear, luke.” 

it’s not like it meant anything. we’re barely even friends anymore.

you replay luke’s words as you crawl into bed, holding back tears so as to not disturb percy. finally, you swallow a generous amount of whatever concoction lou ellen had brewed up for you.

drifting off into your own sleep, you decide that you don’t love luke anymore. not as a friend, not as a.....

nope. 

according to luke, there's not even anything to go back to.

nothing.

nothing.

[iridescentflamingo]

TMNT Head cannons

Bayverse Turtles. Just ideas that kind of poured out tonight. (Aged up turtles, you can pick but I want them 30-ish. ~NSFW)

🧡🐢🎇🧡

The easiest turtle to win over is Mikey. He practically throws himself at you. When you give him positive attention back, he just ramps up his flirting. He has pet names for you for days. Eventually, he'll settle on one or two good ones and use them instead of your name almost always. You are going to have to confirm that you have feelings for him before he takes it to the next level. Due to the fact that he is so very straight forward and right out the gates with his cat calling, you have to confirm that you are not just being nice and playing along. He's a flirt, not a creep. (Maturity has found him, it just took him a few more years than his brothers)

Once you do, your fate is sealed. Mikey is definitely a very handsy, flirty, hiding no feelings and having practically no shame kinda dude. He doesn't care if anyone sees, hears, smells etc. his flirting and most of his physical romancing. Telling you how hard you make him a bit louder than he should, toughie tough. Making out on the couch in front of everyone, he doesn't care. Getting caught with his hand down your pants in the kitchen, oh well.

What he does keep secret and quiet is when he vents. Always expected to be the fun and sunshine brother, you become his confidant when he's got heavy feels things to unload. To make sure that it doesn't bog you down, he tries his hardest to end with something more positive and turn it back into good-vibes.

The other thing he'll keep more on the down-low is when the two of you are trying new fetishes or engaging in kinky play for the first time. He doesn't want to be interrupted or for you to get embarrassed and then never want to try again, so that stuff stays in his room, when he knows it's private and he won't be bothered. After y'all get comfortable with it, maybe then he's less cautious.

💙🐢🌊💙

Leo is tough to know. He's dead set on his duties to the point that it's most of his personality, until you get to know him better, and that only happens if he lets you. It'll be slow. He will start by sharing random tidbits of himself that don't have to do with ninjutsu, weapons, or his leadership responsibilities. In the beginning they're bland, basic facts; which pizza toppings he prefers, his favorite type of TV show, his preferred genre of book. They're things you could gleam from just being around him for more than a few days. He's stupid cautious.

His next step would be to ask if you want to do some training with him. He sticks to simple things, testing your abilities and skills. It's really more to learn about you, but it's a start. He takes it easy on you, mostly dodging until you get frustrated, and then maybe he humbles you with a sneaky move like knocking you off your feet. He doesn't ask you if you want to practice again, he waits for you to ask.

Over time, the training becomes more physical and he shares actual details about himself, but you have to be giving info in return. Knowing what his favorite movie is probably would never be information that The Foot uses against him, but you never know. You have got to meet him, tit for tat, and offer your own truths. If he catches you lying, you're not just back to zero, you're in the negative.

Eventually, if you've managed to gain his trust and build a strong connection with him, Leo will open up properly. He will joke, play, swat, and treat you like one of his brothers, with a more gentle approach because you're not a 200lb+ muscled turtle.

If romance blooms, expect another slow trudge full of trust building and honesty before you get any proper boyfriend-esque attention. Once past the awkward "we shouldn't, it's too dangerous, how would this work?, I'm not human, will you really be happy here?" Swamp of despair, it should be smooth sailing. Be honest and he's all yours.

All that time spent building that relationship will return ten-fold from Leo with whatever type of affection you ask for. He wants to please, he wants you happy, and he will make it so if possible.

��️🐢🥊❤️

Raph is going to keep his feelings secret for as long as he can. He hides his insecurities by trying to be the biggest, heaviest hitter, and a tank for his brothers. And those are just his viewed shortcomings compared to his three brothers. When looking at you, he compares himself against all men. He has little hope. In the mirror he sees a big, green face with sharp features and a scowling, RBF. He may act like hot shit in front of his brothers, but it's a front. Besides his appearance and size, his temper can flare, and he's come a long way since he was a teen, but it can still explode from him, which is terrifying to see, especially up close. He's very aware and is afraid that if you see him in that state, it will only reinforce the fact that he's a monster.

You will see glimpses of how sweet he can be from time to time, but they won't come often. When you're around, his guard is up doing double time; keeping up appearances and keeping his feelings in check. Over time his facade will falter occasionally. He'll be laughing at your jokes, ribbing you when you get frustrated over video games, checking to see if you've eaten, and maybe even leaning against you as he nods off on the couch. When you smile at his playfulness and kindness, he'll smile back until he catches himself and suddenly remembers that he has something to do. It will probably be going to their home gym.

If you can manage to get him to accept that you honestly and truly think he is not a monster, and that you want to be around him, and miss him when you're not with him, you're going to get someone who can be a huge teddy bear cuddler, but also someone who likes to get physical and more rough in the bedroom. This is going to take a lot of repeating yourself and him asking, not always subtly, if you really mean it. If you're sure you wouldn't be happier with some other guy. If your eyes work. If he's really not too big. If if if... You will learn that kisses can usually stop him from spiraling.

Sometimes Raph wants to cuddle and be soft and tender. Despite his size he is careful. He handles you like you're a porcelain figurine in the beginning. With the practiced ability to knit, his large hands can be surprisingly dexterous and delicate. He is not a bull in a china shop unless he chooses to. Quiet times together have him completely wrapped around you, holding you carefully close and seeking your body warmth. You are careful not to laugh the first time he slips and churrs when he begins to doze off in your arms. He won't do it again if you embarrass him.

Over time, he allows himself to be a bit more rough with you. At first it is just careful roughhousing, perhaps some near choreographed play tackles or even picking you up and pretending to slam you on the bed, setting you down carefully with sound effects instead of actual violence (Raph may have loved watching WWE growing up). After a bout of rougher hands-on play, he notices that you're turned on. This changes things immediately. Taking advantage of the situation, the play shifts from silly to sexual in an instant.

You both end up having the most amazing sex you've ever had thus far. The next day you talk about it as you ice bruises and he apologizes as you hobble around when you first get up from bed. As a couple, you set limits and it becomes a more regular thing. You enjoy this rougher type of sex and he enjoys being able to be less careful. Being rough is in his nature and you loving it and getting off to it just helps strengthen your bond.

💜🐢⚛️💜

(Saved the best for last~)

Donnie is guarded, but secretly hopeful about the possibility of a relationship. This busy, brainy, tech wizard of a brother is a master of design and invention, but he still has his own hang ups. Instead of fighting off insecurities, he fights anxiety, boredom, and possibly depression. Instead of working out or training, he buries himself in his work. Keeping busy keeps his mind from wandering into darker thoughts. It also leads him to pass out and sleep dreamless sleep. He knows that it isn't healthy, but the other thoughts aren't good for him either.

When he notices that you've taken an interest in what he is working on, he eagerly shares to the point of info-dumping. If he catches himself, he apologizes out of reflex. You have to dismiss it or he will assume that, like his brothers, you do not have time to hear him ramble. Asking him questions, especially if you do not understand what he is talking about, will spur him on to explain. He's patient and wants to share his knowledge. If you pretend to know, he can tell, and won't say anything, but will take note that you're just trying to be nice in order to placate him and get him to stop.

Always watching and analyzing everything, he'll take notice who you talk to when you arrive, who you spend the most time with, how you react to his other brothers antics and conversations, who you decide to sit next to, how much physical contact you give and to who... He sees it all and makes mental notes. He will also overthink things. Were you just laughing at Mikey's jokes, or was that flirting? Were you smiling at Leo because he was kind, or was that something more? Was that shove you attempted to give Raph just for fun, or were you trying to spur him to touch you? If you don't give him equal or more attention, he will notice and make pessimistic predictions.

If you give him the most attention out of his brothers and are genuinely interested in his projects and research, he will take note and begin to test you a little. While handing him a screwdriver, he notes how you react when his fingers linger on yours a little longer than they should have. As he explains the wiring on a smaller machine, he stealthily monitors your pulse rate when he moves close enough for your arms to press against one another. After some motor oil droplets splash on your cheek, he watches your face for any signs as he gently wipes the dark spots away with his thumb. Every action is inconspicuous and easily dismissed, but a treasure trove of valuable information before he makes any kind of decision as to what to do.

If he is completely positive that you harbor a crush on him, he meticulously plans his own confession. A true romantic, he wants this to be perfect. The two of you will be alone, most likely in his lab space where he is most comfortable. His brothers will either be out or busy. You won't have any idea that this is a special evening and will be under the guise that you're coming over to help him out with a project, as you often did. He'll let the evening start out with that project, but will end up shifting your attention to something else he's made. The secret project will be something impressive that has you in awe, asking how long he's been working on it. That's when he makes his move.

His answers have been rehearsed in his mind over and over, but his nerves still cause him to shake and some of his answers carry a hint of nervousness, but his face is confident and sure. He reports his data to you and details how he's noticed your affection. Still monitoring you, he is careful and has a backup plan readied in case he has to abort his admission. If everything goes as planned, you end up with his hand on your cheek and a gentle first kiss upon your lips.

Donatello is almost clingy with his affection. You receive messages when you are not around him and when you are at the lair, he is close to you or at least nearby. He seeks physical contact often but in more discrete ways when around others. At the dinner table, he'll move his leg so that his calf is leaning against yours. During movie night, he is hip to hip with you on the couch, encouraging you to lean against him once the flick starts. It's not completely hidden, but its modest.

Away from prying eyes, it is a completely different story. Hands end up under and in clothing as kisses turn from soft and sweet to hungry and demanding in seconds. All you have to do is say the right words. Donnie proves time and time again that he is a quick learner and has your body figured out within a couple of weeks. You find it difficult, at first, for him to properly let go and let you take the wheel, but in time the trust is built and he allows you to give without also receiving. He turns out to be a versatile switch after deviating from his original, more dominant, tenancies.

His favorite thing to do is make you climax. His second favorite thing is to climax together. His third is using toys...

~Ɛ>------------------------------------<3~

@thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @sophiacloud28 @thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @tmntngl @avery73 @tmntngl

(lmk if I missed anyone's tags)

[zarameraki]

♡₊˚🔪・₊✧ 𝘁𝗼𝗷𝗶 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝘁. 𝟭₊˚🔪・₊✧

: ̗̀➛ tropes: fem! reader 𖥔 mdni 𖥔 obsessed at the first glance 𖥔 nsfw 𖥔 masturbation (toji time) 𖥔 "she's mine even if she doesn't know it yet" 𖥔 age gap 𖥔 he's downright depraved for you

: ̗̀➛ word count: 3.7k

: ̗̀➛ notes: happy new year, mamas! and happy belated birthday to my baby daddy. y'all have no idea how fun it is to write toji fics. i've got a hundred already lined up. i'm going to make this a full series but for now here is part one of what's about to come (haha get it? oh god. i need help)

The first time Toji laid his eyes on you was the morning after he’d finished yet another one of his assassination cases.

There you were, seated on a picnic mat, a serene oasis in the bustling sea of activity. The wind danced through your hair, and you were engrossed in a book, your legs tucked comfortably beneath you. The music in your headphones created a private sanctuary, shielding you from the cacophony of playful children, picnicking families, and the vibrant hum of the city's summer.

Toji found himself rooted to the spot.

Oblivious to the annoyed cyclists and the world rushing past him, he stood there, captivated. It was as though he had stumbled upon a deity crafted solely for him.

You briefly raised your gaze, taking a momentary break from the confines of the small text.

Toji couldn't believe his luck as he found himself mesmerized by the tantalizing sight before him. Despite his best efforts to maintain composure, a telltale bulge in his sweatpants betrayed the mark you had on him. There you were, blissfully unaware, sipping from a water bottle that seemed almost rehearsed.

His fixation deepened as he observed every nuance of your movements—the curve of your mouth, the delicate way your throat accommodated the liquid, and the small hands that gripped the oversized bottle. He imagined his cock instead and flinched from the way his dick twitched. The simple act of you licking your lower lip and unbuttoning the top buttons of your dress shirt to fan yourself from the heat sent shivers down his spine.

You just had to start tying your hair up. 

Taking a deep breath, Toji briskly walked towards a nearby public restroom and locked himself in one of the vacant stalls.

His back pressed against the wall as he lowered his sweatpants and pulled his thick, trembling cock out, pre-cum trickling from the tip. He lowered his eyes and visualized you on your knees, grabbing his cock and circling your small, pink tongue around his tip. His head cruised back as you swallowed his length to the back of your warm throat, gagging, gasping, choking, bobbing your head back and forth. His fingers tightly held onto your tender scalp, fucking himself into your pretty, little mouth until your nose was crushed against his pelvis. He heard you begging, pleading, scratching at his hips to give you a breather, but Toji relentlessly fed you his cock, over and over and over—

Spurts of release erupted and splattered onto the stall's wall, with droplets dripping onto the floor. Toji opened his eyes only to find the space where your apparition was supposed to linger now empty. His hand was sticky and hot, smudged in the mess he’d made envisioning you. You. It was you who had provoked this intense response, causing him to reach a climax faster than ever before.

As Toji cleaned himself up, he couldn't ignore the unabashed stares from the onlookers, men who had clearly overheard him masturbating. Ignoring the judgmental gazes, he focused on formulating a plan to claim you, even if you fought or opposed it; he was convinced that, in time, you would surrender.

In his mind, you were already his.

Toji lingered for the next few hours on that park bench, focused on you. His eyes traced every move you made, absorbed in that stupid book of yours, oblivious to the frisbees and kites dancing above you. His gaze burned into the teenage boys engaged in soccer behind you, fuming as they carelessly neared you with the ball. Especially the one you beamed at after he half-heartedly apologized to you.

Fuck, that smile of yours was irreplaceable.

As you packed your mat into the duffle bag and rose, turning to dust your ass off from any debris sticking to it, Toji's thoughts took a blunt turn. Sleep was an impossibility now.

Following discreetly as you strolled down the path, immersed in the rhythm of your ear-throbbing music, Toji couldn't help but dissect every inch of you. Your clothes, undoubtedly high-end and branded, spoke volumes. The price tag on your headphones alone easily flirted with seven hundred dollars, if not more. It was clear—you came from a life of comfort, perhaps a spoiled heir or held a proud position in some grand corporation. You were proving to be a challenging prize, a fish that refused to be easily caught.

You decided to take a pit stop at a vegan café where they charged an arm and a leg for a tiny cup of espresso.

Patiently, Toji lingered outside, cigarette dangling from his lips, the ember casting shadows on his sharp features. Peering through the glass, he caught glimpses of your animated conversation with a male barista. Though, the bastard's eyes were shamelessly speaking to your cleavage.

Toji hadn’t killed anyone for fun in a while; maybe the lanky fucker was going to start a new streak. 

As you emerged, holding your iced coffee and muffin like some divine offering, he noticed the scribbles on the napkin. Ah, the barista's number, huh? The son-of-a-bitch just signed his own death warrant.

With a flick of your wrist, you crumpled the napkin and tossed it into the trash, conveniently placed right next to him.

Your eyes locked.

The cigarette in Toji's mouth hung suspended in a moment that seemed to stretch forever. Your gaze shot up as you took in the powerful physique of the man, the scar tracing its path on his left lip, and the black, sleek strands of hair framing those perilous, obsidian-green eyes. He was more than just attractive; he was a magnetic force, and you could feel the tingling of anxiety dancing on your skin. Too bad your family had always drummed into you the importance of polished over rugged.

Despite the internal turmoil, you turned on your heel and continued walking, nonchalantly sipping on your cold coffee to ease the tension building within you. There was an undeniable urge to steal one last glance at him, an itch in your brain pushing you to do so. With feigned composure, you added an extra sway to your hips, aware that his eyes were still on you.

Toji’s eyes were glued to your ass. Was he breathing? Nope. He was sure he’d busted his cover just then. You had checked him out for thirty whole seconds, the opportunity to speak suspended in the air, only to be pulled apart and crumble at his feet. 

But he didn’t care. 

He shadowed your every move, navigating through busy intersections, seamlessly blending into the teeming masses, keeping up with only the sway of your swinging ponytail and your ass. Fuck, he loved your ass. He wanted to spank it red, bruise the flesh for teasing you. 

Finally, you stepped into the most luxurious hotel in the city.

Toji wondered if you were a local or a visitor from abroad. If he had to purchase a plane ticket to tail you back to your residence, he'd gladly do it. It was insane how unknowingly you had him trapped, wrapped around your perfectly manicured finger.

The lobby was nothing short of fucking fancy.

The place was decked out with marble floors that shone so much he could almost see his reflection. A huge chandelier hung from the ceiling, sparkling with a zillion crystals.

The furniture was all plush and comfortable, like sinking into a cloud. Big, ornate couches and chairs scattered around, all in rich, deep colors.

In the middle was a fancy concierge desk with people in sharp suits and friendly smiles ready to help out. He caught a whiff of some subtle, expensive scent in the air—not too overpowering, just enough to make him feel like he was out of place.

There was a low hum of activity—people chatting, the clinking of glasses from the bar nearby, maybe some soft piano music in the background. He couldn't help but feel a bit important just standing there like he'd stepped into a world where everything was a little more polished and refined.

He was in hell.

"Dad!" you exclaimed, striding towards your father amidst a crowd of his guards and members of the family hotel enterprise board.

"Darling!" Your father embraced you briefly, then caught a whiff of something unusual around you. "Were you smoking?"

Shit. 

That attractive stranger from before had been smoking and the scent must’ve stuck to your clothes. 

"I bumped into a friend who was," you lied, acknowledging your father's associates with a nod. Your current appearance didn't exactly match the polished image your mother presented to the press, but it was a facet appreciated by some online fans. As the heiress to the family hotel, however, you understood the importance of maintaining grace.

Even on your days-off. 

"How was your meeting?" you asked.

"Same old, same old. Nothing for you to worry about," he replied dismissively.

"I mean, shouldn't I be involved? I'm almost twenty-one. It might be time for me to learn the ropes of managing—"

"I'm still around, aren't I?" Your father pushed your arm, causing you to stagger slightly. "Why don't you go freshen up now? We have a family dinner tonight." Family dinners, in this case, were elaborate affairs with your father and mother's vast social circles, almost a societal event. Unfortunately, everything was hosted at the hotel, making you feel like you were in a gilded cage.

"Sure, Dad."

He planted a quick kiss on your cheek and walked past you.

You stared at his retreating figure and the group of men you would eventually be working with, all of them vanishing through the hotel's automatic doors until the lights surrounding you became a blur. Your fingers touched your wet eyes, the back of your shaky hand wiping at your cheeks.

Despite the hurt, your training to act classy in public kicked in. You rolled back your shoulders, attempted a smile, and walked toward the elevators leading to your personal suite.

Observing the unfolding scenario from a discreet vantage point nearby, Toji, with arms and ankles casually crossed, wore a devilish smirk at how effortlessly the situation had played into his hands.

His room was on the twelfth floor. 

It served as a temporary base for the two nights he had planned to stay. Plenty of time, in his calculation, to claim you as his own. He walked the fine line between confidence and cockiness, especially when dealing with a woman of your caliber. If he were to leave empty-handed, Toji carried a darkness within that would annihilate those you loved, a merciless flood of destruction until you had no choice but to turn to him. His sights were set on you, beginning with your pretentious father.

Yes, Toji had researched each and every single human associated with you. 

Your father was a titan in the hospitality game and built an empire that stretched across the map. His hotels sprouted like mushrooms, and his wealth skyrocketed faster than you could say "check-in." He portrayed himself as the picture-perfect family man, but lurking in the shadows were dealings that'd make you think twice about tagging him with the 'daddy dear' label. During one of his many interviews, he let slip a desire for a son. When the inevitable talk of you inheriting the hotels surfaced, he'd chuckle, saying, "We'll see about that."

Toji absentmindedly toyed with his pocket knife, thinking of ways he’d cut your father’s tongue and shove it down his throat. 

Then there's your mom, the classic trophy wife. No accomplishments to her name, just born into a world of idle gossip and social climbing. Since you were in diapers, she's been molding you into the picture-perfect daughter for the public eye. Nannies raised you, and she only paid attention when it came to playing matchmaker, setting you up with aristocratic jerks.

Toji might spare your mother only because she was an airhead being puppeteered by your father’s gimmicks. 

You, on the contrary, were as perfect as one could get. Top of your class all through elementary to high school, currently enrolled in a business Ivy program at a prestigious university, president of the student union, and an active team player in clubs as absurd as juggling.

Your carefully crafted social media presence had Toji rolling his eyes. An avid reader who probably devoured Shakespeare in between saving the world and a lover of sunsets because nothing said depth like a passion for the fading light. Your commitment to wildlife, starting a charity for animals in captivity that was funded strictly by your family's friends. He bet the lions and tigers sent you thank-you cards.

Toji forcefully closed his laptop, took a deep breath, and sank into his mattress, gripping the roots of his hair.

He knew he wanted you. He wanted to touch you, to be inside of you, to break you and put you together again. The image of you being pushed by your father played in his mind, making his heart threaten to burst from his chest.

Despite the depraved thoughts, Toji was genuinely curious about you. The real you. The person seeking love in the same way you offered it to others. He wanted to fuck you but also take great care of you. He wanted to make you cry, but only when you were underneath him, begging for more. He’d kill himself if he hurt you otherwise. He questioned if a dormant monster within you waiting to be awakened by his own.

There had to be. 

And he would be the one to root it out.

Toji pulled himself together, took a quick shower, and threw on the best outfit he had found in his cramped closet within his even more cramped apartment while packing. Living in close quarters didn't bother him; after all, his income came from a rather unconventional source—he was a professional assassin, taking out targets for clients that ranged from politicians to drug dealers. Penthouses and sports cars weren't his style, even if he could afford them; he preferred the simple life, spending most of his earnings on one thing he enjoyed the most: gambling on horse racing.

Knowing that you'd be at the bar, Toji decided to do a bit of reconnaissance. He hacked into the private security servers of the hotel, observing your movements from the corridor to the public areas. He saw you leaving your room in a stunning maroon gown, hair elegantly pinned up, and lips painted a vibrant red. His dick jerked in his trousers.

He spotted you alone at the bar, enjoying a cyan-colored drink. The smooth expanse of your back in that revealing dress nearly made him come in his pants right there and then.

Cracking his neck muscles, Toji walked up to the bartender, positioning himself about two meters away from where you sat. He pulled out a cigarette and flicked the silver lighter, flaming the end of the dart. Drawing in the first drag, he exhaled a plume of smoke. “I’ll take a whiskey.” 

Giving you a casual once-over, Toji noticed you tracing circles on the table, lips in a pout, and eyes blinking languidly.

“Rough day?” he asked, settling into the seat beside you.

“You have no idea—” You looked sideways and met the dark green eyes of the attractive stranger. Your nails were now idle on the table, and you sat up straight. A breath caught in your chest, and you greeted him with a simple "Hi."

“Hi.” He pulled out the cigarette to take a sip, lips pulling in to savor the sharp taste of his whiskey. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, sweetheart.” 

Your chest skipped a beat at the unexpected nickname. "I-I— Are you stalking me or something?"

“Stalking is a strong word, doll. I prefer 'casual observation.'”

“So you’re stalking me?” 

The stranger chuckled, and your knees quivered from the husky, rough sound. “You're a vision, sure,” he said, his voice a slight victim to the smoking, “but I’m too much of a gentleman to do such a thing.” 

You observed his clothes closely. He was dressed in a sleek black formal ensemble with impeccably shiny Oxfords. However, his hair was neatly combed down instead of styled up, and you caught the silver hoop adorning his left ear. The idea of him being sent by your mother or being the son of one of your father's friends quickly crossed your mind, but you ruled out the possibility. Maybe him being outside that café and being here was a complete coincidence.

“The name’s Toji.” He extended his hand for a shake. You glanced at the faded scars on the back of his hands. And when you hesitantly slipped your hand through his, the roughness of his palm rubbed against your softer one. “Ever washed a dish in your life, sweetheart?” 

A shake of your head was all the admission he needed.

"Yeah, figured as much." Toji turned your hand, his thumb tracing a journey along its unblemished terrain.

You quickly took back your hand and placed it on your lap. “I’m sure you know my name.” 

Toji tilted his head. “Am I supposed to?” 

You blinked. In a world where your family name echoed through the corridors of the hotel, his genuine ignorance was a rarity. "I'm Y/N.”

"Y/N," he echoed, your name a lazy caress on your skin. Above the rim of his nearly empty glass, he regarded you with a watchful gaze. “The fuck is that, anyway? Windex?” 

You raised your drink. “It’s a mocktail. I have a family dinner in an hour so I can’t drink. My father says it’ll impede my ability to talk. I can’t mess anything up.” 

He half-rolled his eyes. “You like Coke?” 

“Like, the soda?” 

"What else, sweetheart?" He swiped a finger under his nose, throwing in a wink. "Unless that's your thing."

“No.” Your cheeks heated. “I like diet Coke, I suppose.” 

Toji locked eyes with you and signaled the bartender. "Vodka diet coke for the lady."

"What?" You started to object, but Toji's hand clasped around your forearm, freezing you. “Remove your hand right now.” 

He raised his hands in mock surrender, a grin playing on his lips. If he weren't so irritatingly charming, you might have considered introducing your mocktail to his face with a quick call to security as a chaser. “Just don’t want you to die knowing you never tried vodka.” His cheeks hollowed as he inhaled, exhaling wisps of smoke that danced in captivating swirls. “Ever smoked?” 

You shook your head, a coy resistance to his vices obvious on your face. "It's detrimental to your health, you know. Consistent smoking can fast-track your journey to an early death. If you're aiming for more than thirty candles on your birthday cake, I'd advise a little moderation."

A sardonic chuckle escaped him. “Well, fuck.” He inspected the dart in his hand as if it held the secrets of the universe. “Guess I missed the invitation for my funeral five years ago.”

He’s old. 

“Too old for you, sweetheart?” He dipped his head conspiratorially, locking eyes with you. "Hope you're not collecting a set of daddy issues like souvenirs."

You shot him sidelong glances, a subtle shake of your head. "I happen to like my dad, thank you very much."

“You’re welcome.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a small puff of a laugh at his response. 

He shot you a grin, his scar stealing a moment of your attention before the vodka diet Coke presented itself. “You still in school?” 

You nodded. “University.” 

“Yeah? You like it?”

“Keeps me distracted.” 

“From?” 

Your hand swept through the ambience of the hotel's bar, and Toji followed your motion, absorbing the surroundings. “I don’t know if my name rang a bell at all, but I’m to inherit this place.” 

“Didn’t.” Toji raised his glass, gesturing his chin at the vodka diet coke in front of you. “Let’s drink to it.” 

“I told you I can’t. I’m also lightweight. Besides, I don’t want it on my tab. My father keeps a check—”

“My father this, my father that.” Toji sighed, taking your drink and snagging a straw from a nearby container. He placed it near your lips. “Your father might have set the stage, but he can't dictate the play. Take a sip. If you hate it, fuck it. That work for you, sweetheart?"

You frowned at the subtle pressure venting from him. A fleeting swipe of your tongue traced your lower lip, drawing Toji's gaze to the subtle curve. His intense scrutiny left you feeling strangely singled out, a rare occurrence in a world where every tidbit of your life laid at the fingertips of anyone with an internet connection. Your secrets were a vault locked tight, shared with no one but yourself. Indulging in personal interests took a back seat to your responsibilities, and you strictly stuck to a scripted persona to protect your family's reputation. Even something as mundane as sipping on a vodka diet Coke. 

Toji set the drink on the table, slipping a generous tip to the bartender. His financial status seemed modest, likely someone comfortably positioned enough to book a room in your hotel. “Listen, sweetheart, I don’t often give out advice ‘cuz frankly, I'm not exactly an expert on your generation.” He took a final drag of his cigarette, extinguished it under his foot, and nonchalantly dropped the remains into your drink. “But, you might want to dust off that brilliant little brain of yours sooner rather than later. Mind passing me a pen, buddy?” 

The tender handed him a sharpie instead, and Toji scribbled out something on a napkin.

“Are you leaving?” you asked, feeling somewhat disappointed in yourself. You wanted him to ask you more questions. You wanted to know more about him. 

“Afraid so, doll.” He folded the napkin, both of you surreptitiously scanning the surroundings before he handed it over. A smirk played on his lips, causing you to rethink the urgency with which you accepted it. “Your old man taught you lots of lessons, but seems like 'Stranger Danger' wasn't part of his curriculum, huh?” 

“He doesn’t completely control me.” 

Toji smirked, tapping the folded napkin. “Well, we're about to test that theory."

He left you perched on the barstool, and the moment he vanished, you unfolded the napkin, heart pounding.

ROOM 1231. 

Sooner or later.

[bunni-v1]

Past and Future (Happy Birthday Lighter)

🍓Finished this shit at 4:30am, if y'all don't enjoy this I will kill myself. Anyway had fun writing this, it's more of me fucking around and finding out with Lighter's character, but I think it's fluffy and cute so... enjoy lol

TW: Mentions of Death; Suicidal ideation

Info: Lighter x GN!Reader; Angst to Fluff (?) Kinda?; hurt and comfort (i think??)

Word Count: 2k

December 27th. Two days after Christmas, five days before New Year's. Oddly placed on the calendar, awkwardly smooshed between two major holidays in New Eirdu. To most, it was insignificant, just another day. To Lighter it was something he dreaded each year. Between the holiday cheer and the buzz of excitement for the new year, it was nothing more than a looming cloud dampening his mood.

December 27th, Lighter Lorenz’s birthday, one of the worst days of his life.

He didn’t hate birthdays, they were nice when they were for other people. He had to admit he enjoyed getting gifts for others and seeing their eyes light up when they opened it, and the light atmosphere when everyone sang a horrendously off-key rendition of the birthday song was hard to hate. They were celebrations of the life of that person, a hurrah to cheer them into another long year until the next came around. He just hated his own.

Gifts and cake and warm fuzzy sweet nothings acted only as reminders that he was alive. He was alive, and everyone else who deserved to be wasn’t. Another marker of another year since he lost everything. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t there, maybe sleep until the 28th or run away for a while, but the girls wouldn’t let him.

They’d managed to weasel his birthday out of him about a year into his being here, and they made a point to celebrate it each year. Nothing big, they knew he wasn’t one for huge crowds outside of his fights, but still a party where they showered him with gifts and congratulations that he did not deserve. He didn’t have it in him to tell them to stop.

So, year after year he grinned and bared it with as much grace as someone as fucked up as he could. It wasn’t hard to be grateful for all they did for him, but it was always hard to smile and accept it like he deserved it. The nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy, not when his stupidity cost the lives of good people – wonderful people, who he loved.

He usually only lasted until Burnice got out the nitro fuel, then he would quietly slip away from his own party to be alone. The quiet was easier on his mind than the distractions of colorful confetti and sweet cake made just to his taste. He liked to sit in the pain, to recede into that cocoon of hurt, as if to apologize to his friends by torturing himself. 

This year was no different, of course. Just as Burnice handed out the nitro fuel, he quietly slunk into the shadows, smiling to himself as the rest of the Sons of Calydon remained celebrating in his steed. He walked his way to his bike, sighing in the cool night air. The breeze on his skin was the only comfort from the hell in his mind.

He let the air out, hand tucking into his pocket to pull out the little thing of candy he carried around on him. The little lemon drops fall into his palm with ease, and he tosses them back with practiced ease. He rarely felt like smoking anymore, but his birthday was always a struggle. The heightened emotions made him want to take the easy route out, to fall back on his old ways and make stupid mistakes in hopes it would make him feel better. Instead of giving in, though, he sucked on those candies like a saving grace. It was the least he could do for his old friends.

As he stopped in front of his bike, he shoved the candies back into his pocket. Taking a second to himself in the quiet of the night. It was almost over, just a few more hours, and the pain would lessen back down to an ache again. A little longer and he wouldn’t have to worry about constant reminders of being alive, and he wouldn’t have to save face for everyone else’s sake.

“Lighter?” A quiet, soft, almost worried voice from behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder, eyes softening when he saw it was you. You’d been quiet about his birthday all month, not bothering him with any reminders. You knew, intrinsically, how much he hated it. You always knew everything about him, it was an infuriating quirk of yours that he would never want to go away. 

“Hey, dollface,” his voice just as quiet as he raised his arm for you to duck under, “got tired of the party?”

You press yourself into his side, enjoying the warmth of your personal heater, “I saw you leave and I wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid.”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Me stupid? Never. Just needed some air.”

“Is this getting some air just for you, or could you use some company?” You offer, giving him the reins.

He liked the alone time, he wanted to wallow in self-pity more than anything in the world. His head reminded him that he deserved to be alone on a night like this. Yet, your eyes flutter a little at him, and your lashes brush away those awful thoughts like nothing. 

“I’ve always got room for you,” he hums, giving you one last squeeze before helping you on the bike.

The drive is peaceful, the breeze cooling his hot skin like an apology from the world for all he’d been put through. He doesn’t think he deserves it, but he wouldn’t deny the feeling either. Your arms wrapped firmly around his middle, head pressed against his shoulder only calmed him further. It grounded him back in the present, reminding him that the past had long passed and that he still had things to live for.

The Sons of Calydon, who took him in and cared for him despite how distant he was at the start. The Proxies, who took special care to stop by earlier and give him a gift, congratulated him for being so strong and thanked him for his constant help when they needed it. The other former members of his mercenary group who, despite how much he wanted to deny it, held no ill will to him and wished him the best for the future.

And, of course, you curled against his back. You trusted him with your life, and he would easily lay his down for you – not that you’d let him if you had any say. You kept reminding him every single day that he was someone worth loving, that he was more than his past, and that he was the one who could define what his future looked like. It was hard not to picture it without you there, not with how attached he’d become to your little displays of love for him.

Displays like this, following him out of his party to make sure he wouldn’t do anything to hurt himself more than he was already hurting. He smiles warmly back at you as he eases his bike to a stop at his favorite quiet spot. You smile back pressing a kiss to his shoulder before moving to get off the bike.

You intertwined your fingers with his like it was second nature as you walked to the fence at the cliff's edge. From here you could see the endless desert, and the edge of the hollow, the moon peaking over it in an almost beautiful display. He helps you sit on the fence, placing a protective hand around your waist to keep you from falling forward.

Your hand presses his head into your shoulder, scratching at his scalp with such care it nearly makes his knees buckle. Another reminder of what he has that he couldn’t afford to lose. No one has known him the way you know him, no one has ever had the effect you have on him. It was almost enough to make all the horror of his past dissipate in his mind, but a small part of him still clung to it. Unwilling to allow himself to fully forget.

“You okay?” You ask, interrupting the quiet bubble that had formed around you.

He nods, “Thinking.”

“About…?” You urge with a raise of a brow, unbearably cute in his mind's eye.

He smiles, genuine for the first time that night, “About how much I love you.”

You shake your head at him, but you don’t argue with him about how he’s lying, or try and force him to tell you everything. You don’t need to. You always trust that he’ll tell you when he’s ready. It’s another thing about you that he couldn’t risk losing.

You let the quiet fall over you again, leaning into his chest with a content hum. He allows himself to indulge in your affections for now, preferring having you here in his arms than staring aimlessly at the skyline by himself. It was easier to swallow the ache in his throat with you to soften the harshness of the feeling, regardless of whether you knew you did it or not. 

He wonders, hopelessly, what his old friends would think of you. They would like you, he was sure of that. You had a personality that would let you fit right in with their eclectic group. The idea of you smiling side by side with them warms his chest, his heart aching as it fades away. A dream he’d never get to see.

He’s not aware that he’s crying, he’s not sure how long he has been crying, all he knows is that you turn to him and cradle his face in your hands. They wipe at his tears without needing to be asked, another quiet reassurance that you cared for him regardless of what was going on in his head.

Lighter sniffles pathetically as his eyes lock with your worried ones. You seem to know what's wrong without him needing to say it, which he likely wouldn’t be able to do if you weren’t able to deduce it on your own. You frown at him, bringing him down to kiss his forehead.

“I’m sorry it’s so hard,” You whisper, wrapping your arms around him.

He pulls you in tightly, desperate for the skinship you offered up, “It never gets easier. Everything is a reminder.”

“I know, that’s okay,” you press a kiss to the side of his face, “I don’t think you need to forget it, Lighter. I think you need to learn how to live with it.”

He closes his eyes, the hollow where they’re buried fading from sight as if looking at it would blind him now. He holds you even closer, letting your words sink in. Learning to live with it, sounded much easier than it probably was. Maybe you were right though, he’d done so much wallowing and running, maybe it was time he found a way to live with the pain.

“Mistake, failure, accident… it doesn’t matter what you call it,” you continue, pulling him back to look him in the eyes, “It’ll always hurt, but that hurt is a reminder of how human you are. You don’t want to lose that. Remember it, feel it, and they’ll never really leave you.”

You swallow, taking him in with those pretty eyes of yours. It’s not perfect, but it’s what he needed to hear tonight. He presses you into a kiss, soft and light and nervous. He was afraid you’d disappear if he was too rough. You melt into it, indulging him like he hoped you would. This was the only way he knew how to show you his appreciation, words would never be enough to display how deeply he cared for you.

When he pulled away you were breathless, face flushed from lack of oxygen, and indescribably beautiful. He smiled subconsciously at you, and you returned the look with all the love and admiration in the world.

“Happy Birthday Lighter,” You say soft as the wind still tussling your hair, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” He repeats back, and he feels the ache in his chest lessen every second he spends looking at you. You taught him a lot since he met you. A lot about himself, a lot about those around him, a lot about you. Most importantly, tonight you taught him that despite his past, he made a future for himself that he should be more determined to remember to protect.

[pedroscurls]

christmas confessions (pt. 1 - day 1)

summary: spending the morning with logan before you go back home for the holidays, you suddenly get bad news that you're unable to fly home due to the severe weather. pairing: origins!logan howlett x fem!reader content warnings: slow burn, best friends (who are deeply in love with each other but don't want to say anything) trope(?) lmao, best friends to lovers, no physical description of reader, no use of y/n. word count: 3k a/n: alright y'all, happy december 1st! i'm gonna slightly deviate from the movie, but otherwise, everything will remain the same. anyway, we're in for a ride for these two so stay tuned 🙂‍↕️ pt 2. | series masterlist.

When moving to the Canadian Rockies almost five years ago, you hadn’t expected to fall in love with the area and you certainly hadn’t expected to befriend one very gruff and very handsome mutant– Logan. A man whose tough exterior didn’t deter you from striking a conversation with him one early morning at the local coffee shop. You could tell from the moment you met him that he was a man who preferred to be alone, that this was a man who had been scarred from traumatic events from his life. 

You were new to the area, Logan knew that much. You had turned to him while in line and asked him what drink he would recommend. Logan had gotten used to keeping to himself, after the events of losing Kayla and then killing Stryker, he just wanted to live the rest of his days in his cabin. Alone, just like how it should be. 

But you had looked at him with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen and a smile that made his heart flutter at the sight. When he lost Kayla, he had vowed to himself that he wasn’t going to commit himself to anyone – that he was better off alone because everyone he cared about, everyone he loved, would eventually get hurt because of him. He had thought Kayla was the turning point in his life, the person that he was going to spend the rest of his days with, but Logan was always meant to be alone. He understood that now. 

So despite the frequent visits to the coffee shop every morning before work, Logan knew that he wouldn’t ever be able to cross that boundary with you. Even though he made sure to arrive every morning at six – just so he can have a brief, five minute conversation with you – Logan knew that nothing could ever happen. 

But as your friendship with him grew, so did his feelings for you. 

What Logan didn’t know was just how deeply in love you were with him. 

The quick morning conversations while in line for coffee soon turned into having dinner once a week. You would normally go over to his place, having fallen in love with the view when stepping out of his cabin, but sometimes, he’d come by to your apartment on the way home from work. Your friendship with him blossomed, but you couldn’t help the way you felt about him. 

It had taken him almost six months for him to tell you just exactly who he was. Logan didn’t know how you would react, but there was a part of him that expected you to realize that you no longer wanted nothing to do with him. So when he told you that he was a mutant, showed you his claws, and mentioned how he had hurt many people, Logan was surprised by your reaction. How gentle and kind you were, the look in your eyes, the light touch of your fingertips against the tip of his claws – you weren’t afraid. He didn’t realize just how much of a relief he felt, how the weight on his shoulders finally lifted when he told you. 

Logan knew that night he loved you, but he knew that nothing could ever happen. So he continued to love you silently, without your knowledge, because not only could he lose you, but he didn’t want to ruin this. 

And now, five years later since you both met, the feelings you felt for each other only strengthened. Neither of you had ever made a move, had ever crossed that boundary from friends to lovers. You were aware of the hurt and pain Logan carried with him – you knew about Kayla, about Stryker, about his past. So you kept your feelings to yourself, held him at arm’s length. Logan was your best friend and you didn’t want to ruin that. 

–

DAY 1 — You pull up to Logan’s cabin, the view just as breathtaking as it was the first time you were here. You wanted to spend the morning with him before you had to leave for the holidays. Logan never was a big fan of Christmas, not really finding the need to celebrate, and he had declined your plenty of offers over the last few years about having him come with you. 

You step inside his home, the warmth from the fireplace radiating throughout his house. You remove your coat and beanie, unraveling your scarf and placing it on the coat rack near the door. Gently stomping on the mat, removing any residue of the snow from outside, you reach down and pull off your boots. 

“Logan,” you call out, walking further into his home and down the hallway. You see him sitting on the couch, dressed in his usual flannel and jeans with a cup of coffee in his hand and his journal on his lap. 

“In here,” he replies, setting his journal on the coffee table and standing up to greet you. 

“It’s coming down out there,” you tell him, leaning in to give him a hug. Your arms wrap around him, cheek resting against his chest as he rests his chin atop your head and his own arms snake around your waist. 

Logan just nods in response, holding you in his arms like this had always been the closest he could get. He would imagine what it’d be like to hold you in his arms while in bed, having you curl against him and –

“Did you make me coffee too?” You ask, pulling him away from his thoughts. You remove your arms around him and look down at his mug, arching a brow up at him. 

“I don’t have all the fancy, sugary drinks you normally like to order,” he teases. “But I did make a pot.”  

“Fancy, sugary drinks,” you scoff, following him into his kitchen. “If I remember correctly, you actually liked one of those fancy, sugary drinks. Even got whipped cream on one of them.”

Logan rolls his eyes and grabs a mug for you from his cupboard, a small smile lining his lips. “Sure, but I don’t have them as often as you do.” He pours the dark coffee into the mug and gently hands it to you, feeling your fingertips brush against his when you take the mug from him. He clears his throat, looking down at his own cup. He knows how much you love the holidays, how important they are to you and your family, but he can’t help the tug he feels in his chest when you leave. You’re usually gone until New Year’s Day and even though you call him on Christmas and on New Year’s Eve, it isn’t the same as having you here with him. 

“Hey, a vanilla latte isn’t fancy and isn’t sugary,” you reply, once more taking him out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, we both know that’s not the only drink you get,” Logan chuckles. 

You let out a quiet laugh, immediately going into his fridge to grab the carton of sweetener that he only keeps for you. You’ve been at his cabin so frequently that sometimes it feels like you live here, how comfortable and at home you feel here with him. Your family knows about Logan, knows how you feel about him, and every year, they always ask if you’re finally going to bring him home. 

But every year, you come home alone despite your heart yearning to stay with Logan for the holidays. 

“So, you all set for your flight?” Logan asks, resting his hip against his kitchen island. “You’re gone for two weeks, right?” 

“Yup, all set. My luggage is in my car outside.” You nod, pouring the sweetener into your mug. You watch the dark liquid turn into a light cream color, glancing up at Logan who’s grinning at you. “Yeah, I’m gone for two weeks.” 

Logan nods at your mug, a smirk on his lips. “Would you like some coffee with that cream?” 

“Ha ha,” you smile, placing the creamer back into his fridge. “What will you do during the holidays, Logan?” You ask, though you know his answer. 

“Nothing,” he shrugs. “You know I don’t really celebrate the holidays.” 

“But it’s Christmas. You should really decorate, maybe get into the festive spirit.”

“Not my thing, bub, and you know that.” 

“I know, figured maybe this year something would give,” you say quietly. 

Logan bites the inside of his cheek as he looks at you, tilting his head slightly as he watches you take a sip of your coffee. “Wouldn’t hold out hope,” he replies. “I’m not one to celebrate.” 

“What if I said I got you a gift?” You ask, setting your mug down on the kitchen island. 

“I’d say you shouldn’t have and you should probably return it.” 

You narrow your eyes and round the corner of the island to stand in front him. Inches separate your bodies as you stare up at him – gaze so innocent, so inviting, so warm. “What if I made it?” 

Logan sighs. “Bub…”

“You know, we go through this every year,” you chuckle. “I’m always going to get you something for Christmas.” 

Logan looks down at you and he suddenly gets an urge to pull you into him, to tell you that despite his stubbornness, he appreciates you and everything you do for him. He knows he isn’t deserving of you, but he’s so grateful that you decide to stick around, even after all these years. Even after all that you know. 

“I promise I didn’t spend any money on it.” 

“Okay,” he sighs with a nod. 

“But, you’ll have to open it on Christmas Day.” 

Logan chuckles. “Do I gotta call you when I open it too?” 

You grin, your smile meeting your eyes. “Obviously.” 

Suddenly, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and you step back and away from Logan to pull it from your pocket. You look down at the email you received and feel your heart drop, your face falling and your smile slowly disappearing. 

“Everything okay?” Logan asks, brows furrowed at the look on your face. 

“My flight’s been canceled,” you whisper. “They anticipate a heavy snowstorm. I won’t be able to go home for Christmas…” 

Logan bites his lower lip. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. 

“I don’t even think I can drive back to my apartment either.” 

“So, I’m stuck with you?” Logan teases, hoping that it’d lift your spirits, but he doesn’t see a smile on your face. Your eyes are still glued to the phone in your hand and he gently reaches out to rest a hand on your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You can stay here, at least until it’s safe to drive back down.” 

“Logan,” you sigh, looking up at him. “I’m sure you don’t want me staying here for a week.”

Logan shrugs. “Would be nice to have some company,” he admits. 

“I just can’t believe I won’t make it home.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I know how important the holidays are for you and your family.” 

You flash him a sad smile and then point to your phone. “I should probably let my parents know.” 

“Right, yeah. I’ll go and fix up the guest bedroom for you.” Logan drops his hand from your arm and turns on his heel, beginning to walk away before he feels your hand gently wrap around his own. 

“Logan?” 

“Yeah, bub?” He responds, turning back around to face you as you keep a hold on his hand. 

“Thank you,” you whisper. “I promise not to be too festive.” Then, you release your hold on his hand and turn around to walk into the living room.

Logan watches you for a moment, biting his lower lip. He realizes that while he feels an excitement bubbling within him at the thought of you staying here, he also feels anxious. Nervous. Scared. He doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to keep his feelings to himself for the entire week. 

After about an hour, Logan finishes cleaning up the guest bedroom and bathroom. He finds you lying down on his couch, arm draped over your eyes and your phone resting on his coffee table. He bites his lower lip and walks over to you, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Hey,” he whispers. 

You remove your arm from over your eyes and look up at him, sitting up on the couch to give him some room to sit next to you. “Hey,” you reply. 

“How’d the family take it?” He asks, sitting next to you. 

“Disappointed, like me, but they did tell me to tell you thank you.” 

Logan arches a brow. “Thank me? Why?” 

“Well, as my dad said: tell him thank you for taking care of my little girl.” You bite your lower lip, unsure of how Logan would react. “Sorry, my dad’s just–”

“Well, when you get a chance to talk to him again,” Logan interjects. “Tell him I’m happy to be taking care of her.” 

You slowly look up at him as you feel the heat rise in your cheeks. When you find that his eyes are already gazing at you, you clear your throat almost inaudibly. You don’t know how you’re going to stay sane this next week, being under the same roof as Logan – a man you’re so deeply in love with. You have to wonder if being snowed in with Logan and unable to go home is the universe’s way of bringing you both together… in a way that neither of you had the courage to. 

“Let me grab your luggage before the weather gets worse,” Logan says. 

“Oh, yeah, of course. Thank you,” you respond, grabbing your keys and placing it in his hand. 

“The bedroom and bathroom are all set for you.” Logan takes your keys, his own hand encompassing your own as he stares down at you. He can see the sadness in your eyes, the disappointment in your features. He then tugs on your hand, pulling you into his chest as his other arm comes up to wrap around your shoulders. 

You sigh quietly, arms wrapping around his midsection as you let your cheek rest against his hardened chest. You shut your eyes – you had always felt so safe in his arms. You can feel his large hand running along your back, causing you to lean further into him. 

“We’ll make the most of this next week,” Logan promises. 

“But you don’t like to celebrate the holidays,” you whisper, pulling back to look up at him.

He shrugs in response. “Maybe I just didn’t have someone to celebrate it with.”

You scoff, pulling away to see him with a teasing smile on his face. “I’ve been asking you to come back home with me for years now.”

Logan chuckles and walks towards the door, pulling on his coat as he stares at you. “Maybe I want you all to myself for the holidays. Ever think of that, sweetheart?” he winks, not giving you a chance to respond before he steps out into the snow to grab your luggage from the car. 

You let out a shaky breath and fall back onto the couch. God, you don’t know how you’re going to survive this next week with him. 

—

Later that night while you’re getting ready for bed, Logan – dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and his white tank top – leans against the doorframe of the bedroom. He crosses his arms over his chest, tilts his head to the side, and lets a small smile line his lips at the sight of you. 

“Hey,” he calls out softly. 

You turn around, hair damp from your shower and dressed in black sleep shorts and an oversized cropped t-shirt. “Hey,” you answer.

“Need anything before I turn in?” Logan asks.

You shake your head and close your suitcase, setting it off to the side. “Thank you,” you whisper quietly. “For letting me stay here.” 

Logan crosses the threshold and steps into the guest bedroom with you, walking towards you. “Better than being snowed in at the airport.” 

“Ah, yeah. That would have been a nightmare.” you bite your lower lip, his body now inches from your own. You yearn to reach out for him, to feel his body heat against yours. “Either way, thank you, Logan. I owe you.”

Logan chuckles and shakes his head, moving his hands into his pockets. “You gonna be okay?” 

You shrug. “Guess the holidays will be different this year.” 

“At least you got me.”

You smile, looking at him from the tops of your eyelashes. “Yeah, I’ll settle for you,” you tease.

Logan laughs, shaking his head. He glances around the room and bites the inside of his cheek, bringing a hand to run through his hair. “Well, just wanted to say good night.” 

“Good night, Logan.”

“And if you need anything, I’m just down the hall.”

“And if you need anything, I’ll be right here.” Your eyes soften at him, knowing that Logan’s nightmares become more frequent at night. 

Logan nods and leans down, gently kissing your temple as his hand rests on your hip. He feels your skin against his fingertips, the cropped shirt you’re wearing lifting just enough for a sliver of skin to be revealed. “I know,” he whispers. “You’ve always been right here for me.” Then, he slowly pulls away and turns on his heel to walk towards the door. He spares you another glance from over his shoulder and flashes you a warm smile before he shuts the door behind him.

Logan sighs and walks towards his living room, taking note of how bare his home looks. He glances at the clock and then looks down the hallway at your closed door. Logan didn’t like to celebrate the holidays, but he knew how important it was to you. He knew the storm was only going to get increasingly worse, so he decides to pull on a pair of boots, a thick coat, and a black beanie before he grabs his keys to his truck – determined to surprise you tomorrow morning.

---

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