#happily-single

[quotelr]

Happily Single is holding out for the best and letting go of the rest. It’s saying “I will and I can” to YOURSELF before you say “I do” to someone else.

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

[frownyalfred]

there is something absolutely hilarious about a Bruce who is somewhat new to Batman but entirely new to parenting being told he needs to "lead by example" by Alfred when it comes to Dick, and that somehow includes modeling eating vegetables at every dinner. except Bruce has been drinking fuck-ass protein-maxed smoothies for every meal for the last 1-2 years so he has to (awkwardly) eat his first piece of truly solid food in several months at the fancy dinner table, with Alfred serving everything, and with Dick sitting off to the side with wide eyes.

Bruce, delicately chewing on a single piece of broccoli he's speared to his fork: "Mhhhhm. See? Tasty, chum! Have some."

Dick: "You’re being weird."

Bruce, still chewing and trying desperately not to make a face: "What? Of course not. Alfred—"

Alfred, who knows Bruce will be paying for this later in the bathroom: "Perfectly normal, sir."

[kugisakiss]

as promised, the spy x fam parody AU

I had some fun thinking about this like 2 years ago and only made a couple of sketches at the time.. but then I started cleaning them up last month and before I knew it, it spiraled out of control to become this monstrosity. I can't help it, as you can all tell by now, I love coming up with scenarios to get all my little guys interacting with each other

some details i didn't put in:

the Kudou parents are absent like in the show

whatever is happening on Haibara's end is probably super messed up but I haven't thought of any of the details

Akai gets fancy tech stuff, like the voice changer, from Agasa. Agasa comes to help babysit Conan sometimes and he gives him all his little gadgets. Akai hasn't said anything about it but figures he could use it considering the amount of crime he comes across

the facility shinichi was in is like in the original story, it exists to research esp to create super soldiers which is why he knows everything he knows

Conan regularly eavesdrops on Akai and Rei's top secret phone calls which is how he learns their real names. He can't help it, he has really good hearing

Conan and Subaru have different last names because Conan thinks "Okiya" is lame and wants to keep the one he made up on the spot. Their story is that when Subaru and Conan's mother (Edogawa Fumiyo) married, they both kept their own last names and Conan was given Edogawa when he was born. They've kept it this way to "remember Conan's dead mother"

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me on my way to a date realising i’m going to have to actually spend time with a real life man who isn’t one of my friends or one of the comfort men that live in my phone

[jayktoralldaylong]

Imagine being the most powerful person in the world, but every time you draw your weapon and use it to fight, your life force diminishes.

That's why Chinese torture remains unmatched, their imagination is out of this world. Ain't no one does suffering like them. I do be gagged when I read their novels.

And yes I'm thinking of Yue Qingyuan! And how he became a pacifist and always fought for diplomatic solutions. Then threw it all away when Luo Bingge basically announced he was going to execute Shen Jiu. How he literally gave up his entire life. 😭😭 All his achievements, his title, his wealth, his power.

And how Shen Jiu only realised this....when Bingge scattered before him the broken shards of Yue Qingyuan's sword. And Shen Jiu realised he'd lost the one person that he sacrificed all his happiness for.

All that time wasted because these mfkers couldn't bring themselves to fking TALK!!!

[preacherspet]

last night i smoked a bowl and it was too big and i coughed so hard, one of my friends went to the kitchen to get me a glass of water and she decided to give it to me in a sippy cup

[alistair-blackwood]

genuinely don't understand people who gripe about someone getting into dunmesh for m/m pairings as opposed to f/f when none of them are even close to being the main point of the series

[cupidskissx]

“I know you wanted this win. One day you’ll get it … Imagine how sweet that will taste. Redemption. Proving all the doubters that you can actually drive the streets you grew up on.”

— Monaco Malaise (2022)

[multiversalconstant]

So we know that within the green lantern corps it’s very common for partners to form romantic relationships with each other. Now imagine how, through hearing secondhand gossip from various lanterns over the years, some of the heroes on earth find it kind of unclear if the term partner for a GL refers to work partners at all.

It starts off pretty simple: when Hal mentions John is his partner, you think ‘well they’re space cops. Cops have partners.’ But then one day you hear from Barry who hears from Hal that Guy and Kyle are partners now. “Poor Kyle,” Fire sighs. Turns out they moved to OA together to open a bar and that’s. well. You ask Ice how she feels about it, “we’re on a break right now,” she says.

Kyle mentions helping two gl partners give birth to their beautiful child. John mentions officiating a wedding. “Are there many weddings in the corps?” “Yes and no. They tried to ban intra-corps dating at one point but Kyle and Guy handled that.”

At some point Hal and Kyle become partners and you ask what happened to John. “John’s with Guy now.” You should have guessed.

You overhear that Guy left the greens to join the reds. “Tough break for John,” Kyle is saying, “And he didn’t even give him a heads up!” Hal looks guilty.

The two newer lanterns, Jess and Simon, seem nice. Simon introduces Jess as his partner but both look awkward about it. “It’s new,” Jess confides to you and Kori later, “we’re still getting used to each other. But I think he’s good for me.” This clears up nothing.

You ask Guy one day, because you’re drunk and curious and you could have sworn Kyle was wearing an army tshirt and the only person you know that he knows who was in the army is John. “Have you ever been partners with Hal?”

He makes a face, it’s very expressive but you can’t quite tell what the expression is. “No. Or at least not officially. It can be hard to keep track with all of us humans.” He’s smirking like it’s a joke, it probably is. “Maybe if things had gone differently when we were younger.”

“Right,” you nod like you understand. You don’t.

You walk outside for some air and Hal is telling Ollie he doesn’t need to start a family because he already has one. “They’re probably just all dating each other,” some new sidekick (why are there so many, who is finding these kids) says thoughtfully. You think about the $50 you put down on it being work partners and sigh.

Maybe you should ask Batman

[gideonysis]

[bnnywngs]

if the nie bros' age were switched, i don't think we would have mdzs lol wen ruohan would at minimum be MIA not long after nie dad's death, our older nie huaisang does not joke on duty! and people would never know what truly happened, but nie mingjue has some suspicions he does not say out loud

[chaosinstigator]

I want to lick him

[let-me-cry-in-peace-guys]

GOJO SATORU WAS A TEEN FATHER. A F A T H E R. a DAD to megumi and NOTHING you can say will change my mind!!!!

just imagine teen satoru and tiny megumi holding hands, the sun setting behind them, and they're walking HOME. to THEIR home. cause they LIVE together and EAT together and COMFORT each other and i-

AND TSUMIKI!!!! TSUMIKI IS CANON YALL GOJO IS A #GIRLDAD FRFR

and-and i bet he like lets her braid his HAIR and try on his GLASSES and put lil pink STICKERS on his FACE AND UGYCRHBNDPIUJ

[sulky-cabbage]

AU: Where Sukuna Wins

Part 2

Part 1 here

This au makes me go crazy I had to make a part 2

Especially after reading your tags @fortunatelyenchantingtaco

I couldn't write this post until now cuz I was kinda busy but OH MY GOD

Yessssss you get it

I'm having trouble imagining what would Sukuna be thinking after all those centuries though...

Would he realize that he's in love and that he got it bad?

Or would he deny it and make excuses?

(both options are sooo good but I prefer the latter, since he's a curse and all that... he's constantly cursing himself; this man is doomed, he can't have nice things. his worst enemy is himself)

I also wonder what would the people make of this. Like, why is Sukuna protecting babies with blue eyes when doing so would surely lead to his demise??? They must find that strange. They must believe he is suicidal or that he is looking for a worthy opponent (they are not that far off), or that he is incredibly arrogant and believes he can defy fate and crush their hopes by killing their symbol of hope.

And yes, imagine Satoru hearing all of that... his perception of Sukuna will undoubtedly be influenced by hearing all of that while growing up.

And I wonder what Uraume has to say about this... They must think that Sukuna lost his mind due to boredom, they gotta be a little worried...

God, oh god Imagine the day of Satoru's rebirth. (Make it nighttime for a more dramatic effect.)

As Sukuna gets ready for bed, he senses the shift in the universe, and then Uraume sees Sukuna bolt out of the window and sprint frantically in the direction of the closest village. He burns it to the ground while laughing maniacally. (end of ep 1 style)

(Bonus points if he shouts some dramatic, unintentionally romantic shit with the fire burning all around him, as we hear the screams of the villagers)

He was feeling ECSTATIC.

It's like he's the one being reborn

He hasn't felt this way in centuries...

His last memory of experiencing anything remotely similar was from a few centuries ago when he was ravishing a village and he heard a villager shout at him about a powerful person with blue eyes that shall be born soon to free humanity from his curse.

That had surprised him...

After all, Gojo Satoru had been forgotten for hundreds of years. All those who knew him were already dead. It was only he who was preserving Satoru's memory.

You can only imagine his astonishment upon hearing a random peasant bring up gojo Satoru after hundreds of years.

He abruptly stopped what he was doing, approached the man, and inquired as to how exactly he had learned about this. The man, who was obviously terrified, informed him that he wasn't meant to tell. Sukuna answered that if he tells him, he will spare his life and the lives of his family; if not, he will kill him and the rest of the villagers.

The man informed him that it is a prophecy that the elder shamans at Jujutsu High had predicted. He said that it was meant to be kept a secret because they were worried about what Sukuna would do if he found out, but somehow this information got leaked (probably because people are desperate and needed some solace), and now this villager blew everything out of frustration and anger.

Sukuna was in a VERY pleasant mood after that so he just left him alive and left the village alone.

He may or may not have gone to Shinjuku after that

The prophecy became even more widespread, he began to hear about it more frequently, and it lifted his mood every. single. time.

He gets even more excited as the decades pass by, Now that there are mentions of Gojo Satoru around him (even if he isn't mentioned by name), he feels as if Gojo Satoru is actually alive.

Gojo Satoru isn't just a memory anymore.

He's a prophecy

He's a threat

He poses a danger

He's a promise

He's an assurance.

From the cosmos itself.

A universe-given gift to him.

This promise is what makes his days worthwhile. He now has something to anticipate.

So yeah back to present time..

Sukuna just felt the shift in the universe and just finished destroying some village, including blue-eyed babies, he doesn't need to spare them anymore..lol

And now...

he's at a loss about what to do.

Should he go and find the whereabouts of Gojo Satoru to train him? (calm down, Sukuna, he's still a baby omg) Or Should he leave it to fate and wait for Gojo Satoru to come for his head?

And How long would that take?

He begins to wonder if the prophecy got influenced by the people's desire for salvation. Perhaps the original prophecy was about someone who would be comparable to him and cause him problems in battle, and people simply took it and ran with it, believing it to mean he would be overthrown...

Surely, it is quite a rare enough occurrence for someone to match his strength, so much so that it warrants a prophecy.

After all, Gojo Satoru lost to him last time, Why should this time be any different?

(He will not get his hopes up)

In the end, Sukuna is and always will be the strongest. Satoru would need to receive training directly from Sukuna in order to have any chance of surpassing him.

So yes... he will train Gojo Satoru to make sure he becomes the strongest version of himself...

(yeah that's the only reason... And definitely not because he missed him and wanted to see him right now even if he was still a freaking baby)

(Sukuna bringing Satoru to his house is also very Pharoah-ish)

But there would be a little problem...

If Satoru lived with Sukuna he wouldn't experience loneliness nor would he know the depth of people's suffering.

Sooo yeah... I kind of want them to not meet that often, because I want Satoru to live amongst regular people, and feel the depth of their suffering (and witness the precise harm that Sukuna is causing to everyone), while also feeling lonely and different from regular people.

So maybe the night that Sukuna goes to snatch baby Satoru, he ends up making some kind of deal with the Gojo clan regarding Satoru...

he agrees to let Satoru live with them and and in return they will name him Satoru (omg) and teach him the clan's secret techniques to make him stronger, and send him to Sukuna from time to time after he becomes an adult to train with him and see if he's ready for the fated battle...

Imagine Uraume's reaction upon learning that "Sukuna-sama" is actually instructing the strongest human sorcerer how to murder him 😔

Now What if Sukuna handles Satoru a little more cautiously during training? And attempts to teach him ways to avoid the world cutting slash...

He vows to himself that he will not use the world cutting slash against Gojo Satoru, he has to find another way to defeat him.

If he killed him in the same manner, it would be boring (yeah, that's definitely the reason; it has nothing to do with the trauma of missing Satoru for centuries and being so bored that it could drive a man insane. Yup, nothing to do with it AT ALL... even if It has gotten so bad to the point of making him completely unable to kill Satoru again. He suspects his brain will NOT allow his body to move and do it. But all will be more clear during the real battle so he just doesn't give it much thought)

And Satoru...

oh dear..

Imagine living your life with everyone expecting you to defeat the king of curses that has been looming over Japan for centuries, and he's also expecting you to defeat him and is training you himself????? Like??? Helloooo???

And the insane elders of his clan are clearly only using him for power; everyone keeps calling him Satoru Satoru, they keep saying he's this Satoru guy, they EVEN NAMED HIM SATORU??? (he's Unaware that it was Sukuna's request).

And he would definitely deny being Satoru due to his rebellious nature T-T

But they keep telling him that when he grows older, he will unlock limitless, have purple, and so on...

So as he gets older and everything unfolds exactly as they predicted, he begins to doubt himself...

And if his "Satoru" identity is the only reason he has this much power; This elevates the question: "are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest" to a whole new level 😭😭

(It seems that he will experience an identity crisis in every universe, huh?)

Given that Satoru would be quite young and undoubtedly beneath Sukuna in skill, it would be only natural for him to look up to Sukuna, who would essentially be his teacher, teaching him how to kill him. Which would leave Satoru bewildered as hell.

And After training with him for years Satoru starts to sympathize with Sukuna and feel like he's the only one that understands him, (his savior complex begins to take hold)

and Satoru's like: uh oh am I falling for the king of curses??? I've been training all this time to kill him, I don't want to fail everyone... (This man will never be free)

So he's torn between saving humanity or saving this curse (by reaching to him and teaching him love and oh boy here we go again history is repeating itself)

So he tries to reach Sukuna in his own way, and Sukuna clocks him right away😭😭

(And he's like you really haven't changed... Albeit he seems pretty pleased about it)

And then he starts monologing about how worthless love is, etc. etc. (He doesn't sound as convinced as before🤭)

Bonus points if we have Uraume in the back staring at the camera like in the office.

So Satoru figures out that Sukuna is too far gone and can not be fixed, but he will continue trying to reach him anyway. (There will be some cracks in Sukuna's walls but he's stubborn as hell)

Nevertheless, he's made up his mind to kill him if necessary. However, he made the decision that he will die along with him. (the prophecy would come true after all; it's fate; there's no avoiding it; Sukuna will die.)

And he doesn't want to remain alone after Sukuna dies.

Now would Satoru inform Sukuna about this plan of his?

Probably not, I want them to have communication issues because it's more fun that way🤭

I'm at a loss for what words they would say to each other before they die...

Especially when Sukuna realizes that Satoru is gonna die with him💔

My mind simply goes blank...

[nonokoko13]

Watch me make a shrine for a character we have only seen in bubble speeches and flashbacks

Jeeves I don't know you but you seem the only stable person in this wicked household. Thank you for being in Damian's life, unlike certain man

[stewy]

you people talk about women like they’re dogs