#happening whether I want it to or not lol

[pbaz7]

FLIGHT 2136: PART 9

paige x azzi

word count: 7.3k

A/N: I don’t even know. I’m real iffy about this (i hate it) but a lot of people wanted it so here we are lol. This is honestly a random ass chapter and it’s a little all over the place. There’s at least a common theme throughout the chapter which is good I guess! Let me know what you think :)

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Paige has been chronically offline since the accident. Of course she still scrolls on her accounts but her social media presence was almost nonexistent—just a collection of sponsored ads and the occasional basketball dump that, knowingly to fans, was usually Azzi’s doing these days. If it weren’t for her teammates tagging her in posts, some people joked they’d forget she even had social media.

Because Paige was so inactive online, fans paid extra attention to her whenever she did show up. Every glimpse of her—whether it was a blurry background appearance in someone’s TikTok or a split-second cameo in an Instagram story—became something to dissect. It wasn’t just about what she was doing, but who she was always with.

Azzi wasn’t much better when it came to social media. She posted more than Paige, but that wasn’t saying much. Her feed was mostly basketball, occasional glimpses into her workouts, and sometimes a rare photo dump. But what fans noticed most was that, when she did post anything remotely fun or glimpses of her life, Paige was often in the videos.

It started subtly—Azzi posting TikTok trends with the team, Paige reluctantly included but always standing closest to Azzi. Then, she’d randomly post duets of them. Ones where Paige didn’t even try to hide her smile when Azzi pulled her into frame, or where she’d roll her eyes but still play along, because it was Azzi. Fans ate it up, stitching their videos with captions like Azzi is the only one who can make Paige do anything.

Then there were the off-the-court moments. Paige and Azzi getting caught whispering on the bench regardless of who was sitting in between them. The way Azzi’s hand would linger on Paige’s arm after huddles, or how Paige always seemed to turn to Azzi first when she was talking.

None of it was concrete. But to fans who had been paying attention, it was enough to start putting the pieces together.

The suspicion grew more on a random night after a game. KK, Aubrey, and Ice were piled in one of the team suites, Ice’s phone was propped up on live. They weren’t talking about anything in specific—just answering questions, talking about the game, and laughing about something they were trying to explain they saw from the bench.

In the background, Paige was in her own world, sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone like she didn’t even know the live was happening. Which wasn’t unusual. Paige was rarely the one front and center in these kinds of things, and the fans knew it.

But that didn’t stop them from trying.

The comments flooding in.

Pls get Paige in the camera!

Can Paige come say hi???

Ice glanced over her shoulder. “Yo, they’re asking for you,” she told Paige, shifting the camera slightly to show the fans her reaction.

Paige didn’t even look up from her phone. She just shook her head, laughing. “Nah, I’m good.”

The comments started flying in:

SHE LAUGHED OMG

She always does this 😭

Why is Paige allergic to cameras but will be in every single Azzi TikTok?

KK snickered, reading the comments in her head but not saying anything out loud. She, Ice, and Aubrey went back to talking about what happened on the bench during the game, reenacting the moment that had them in tears. The chat kept moving at full speed, fans still begging for Paige to come into frame, but the three ignored it, too caught up in their conversation.

After about 15 minutes the door to the suite opened, and Azzi walked in with Jana.

When they stepped in, Ice perked up. “Look who it is!” she said, grinning.

“Come say hi to the live real quick,” KK said, motioning for them to get in frame.

Jana, always down, strolled right over and leaned into the camera. “What are y’all doing?” she said, reading some of the comments as they flooded in.

Azzi, on the other hand, didn’t fully step in. She just popped her head into frame, flashing a quick smile. “Hey, guys,” she said casually before popping back out.

With the addition of Jana, the energy in the room picked up again. Ice, KK, and Aubrey focused on interacting with fans. The chat was flying, a mix of people laughing along and still—relentlessly—begging for Paige to get in the camera.

KK was the first to notice. She shook her head and nudged Aubrey, who glanced at what KK was pointing at and laughing. Jana and Ice caught on next, and within a few seconds, the four of them silently reached an agreement.

They all turned toward Paige simultaneously, eyes wide, lips jutted out in exaggerated pouts.

Paige, still lounging on the couch, didn’t even have to look up to know something was off. They had gotten way too quiet. With a small sigh, she lifted her head—only to be met with four identical, pleading expressions staring directly at her.

She blinked. “That looks like a scene from a horror movie.”

KK snorted, but no one broke character.

Paige let out a long sigh before pushing herself off the couch. “Alright, alright, chill,” she mumbled, as she walked toward them.

The live chat exploded:

NO WAY SHE ACTUALLY GOT UP THE POWER THEY HAVE

We finally won 😭

She stepped into the frame and forced a tight smile. “Hello,” she said simply.

She looks like she’s being held hostage 💀

Someone check if she blinked twice

Paige glanced down at the screen, reading through a few of them which were definitely inappropriate and shook her head. “Y’all are crazy,” she mumbled.

Then, her attention shifted slightly—just past the camera.

Her lips curled into a small grin, subtle at first, but it grew when her ears tinged a faint shade of red. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked. Her voice was softer, more familiar, like she had completely forgotten they were on live.

The chat instantly reacted.

WHO IS SHE TALKING TO??

Wait, what’s happening?

Y’all saw that shift in energy?? HELLO???

Just then, another voice mumbled something from behind the camera. "You look cute when you’re all shy like that."

Paige’s smile deepened as she shook her head, a small huff escaping her lips. “Did I say I was shy?” she shot back, raising an eyebrow.

WHO JUST SAID THAT??

Was that Azzi???

NAH WHOEVER THAT IS HAS HER FLUSTERED

Paige is actually blushing. I’m sick, it's not me.

Azzi’s voice came again, a little clearer this time, but still low enough that it wasn’t obvious who was speaking. "You don’t have to say it. I can see it."

Paige bit her lip, eyes flickering downward for a second before shaking her head again. “Mhm,” she hummed, her amusement clear. “That’s crazy.”

Now the fans were in full meltdown mode, scrambling to piece it together.

HELLO???

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

WHO IS SHE TALKING TO??

KK glanced down at the comments, but she hadn’t been following the chaos leading up to them. All she saw was "Who’s behind the camera?"

“Oh,” she said, reaching for the phone. “It’s just Azzi Fudd Fudd.”

She turned the camera toward Azzi, who barely had time to blink before being on the live. Azzi gave a small smile, waving before KK propped the phone back in its original spot.

OH. MY. GOD.

IT WAS AZZI LMAOOO

THE WAY SHE WAS JUST STANDING THERE?? HELLO??

Paige, babe, be so real with us right now. Like be fr.

Paige, for her part, had already retreated back to the couch, stretching out with an arm over the backrest.

Eventually, Azzi wandered over, standing in front of Paige, who tilted her head up to look at her. The fans couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it didn’t matter because Paige had that goofy grin on her face—the one she only ever gave Azzi.

Paige picked up her phone, holding it out in front of her as she showed something to Azzi. Azzi took it, leaning down just a little closer, her eyebrows furrowing as she examined the screen. The fans could see her jaw drop in mock disbelief.

“Absolutely not,” Azzi said, shaking her head with a playful, incredulous tone.

Paige looked shocked. “Wait, what?” she asked, but before Azzi responded, she was turning to walk off frame, clearly trying to hide a grin.

Paige jumped up from the couch to follow her. The camera caught her moving quickly, her hand still holding her phone as she trailed behind Azzi, just as the two disappeared off-camera.

A moment later, a playful squeal is heard, followed by Azzi’s laughter. “Paige, stop!” she yells through her laugh.

There’s a bit of shuffling—movement that suggests a playful struggle—before Paige’s voice comes through. “You act like you don’t like it.”

After that there was a soft thud, like someone bumping into furniture, then the distant click of a door shutting.

KK glances toward the door before turning back to the screen, eyebrows raised.

As time passed and Paige and Azzi still hadn’t returned, the live became chaotic, with Ice and KK taking over, entertaining fans the best way they knew how—by arguing.

“Bro, you literally just said the opposite like five minutes ago,” Ice argued, pointing at KK.

“Girl boo. No, I didn’t,” KK shot back.

“Oh my God bro yes you did,” Ice insisted, shaking her head. “Somebody roll the tape.”

Then, someone finally asked:

Where did Paige and Azzi go???

KK glanced at the chat. “Prolly with they boyfriends.”

Ice turned her head, eyes widening before she let out a snicker, barely holding back her laugh.

GIRL BE SO FR RIGHT NOW.

WITH WHO???? NAME NAMES.

ICE LAUGHING CAUSE SHE KNOWS.

Paige and Azzi somewhere laughing at us rn.

KK YOU’RE NOT FUNNY (yes you are but still).

After that live, it seemed like the fans were watching their every move. It wasn’t like Paige and Azzi were hiding anything—it was more that they weren’t about to make any official announcements, nor were they ever planning on doing anything overt in front of the cameras.

Still, the speculation never stopped. Fans were divided—some adamantly claimed the two of them weren’t even gay, others argued they were just best friends, while a small group swore up and down that something was definitely happening between them. Despite all the chatter, Paige and Azzi never commented on it. And that, in itself, said enough.

There were no denials, no confirmations, just the two of them continuing on with their lives, the bond between them only becoming more obvious with time. It was clear to anyone who paid close enough attention that Paige and Azzi were something more than just teammates, more than just friends. But until they decided otherwise, everyone would have to keep guessing.

…

The podcast started, and the two of them were settled in front of the mics, the cameras already rolling. Paige looked a little stiff at first, clearly still not quite used to the whole “podcast” thing, while Azzi was a little more relaxed.

The Overtime WBB manager gave them a thumbs up, signaling for them to just start talking, telling them they’d chime in if they needed anything..

Azzi leaned into the mic first. "Hi, I’m Azzi Fudd."

Paige raised a hand, half-waving at the camera. "Paige Bueckers."

Azzi flashed a grin. "Um so, we’re partnering with Overtime WBB for a few podcast episodes, and honestly, it’s just gonna be a yap session. Nothing too serious. Just us talking and they’re going to clip whichever parts they like."

Paige chuckled at that. "Yap session? That’s one way to put it."

Azzi turned to her with her grin still in place. "Basically what it is. And yes, you have to participate."

Paige huffed as she leaned back in her chair. "I don’t know why I got picked for this.”

"You know exactly why you got picked for this."

Paige just shakes her head, picking up some of the cards they had in front of her, flipping through them absentmindedly. She wasn’t quite sure where to start.

Azzi raised an eyebrow, glancing at the cards in Paige’s hands. "So, how do you wanna do this?"

Paige looked up, smiling softly. "You can start."

Azzi leaned forward, giving Paige a look. "Just so you know I’m not running this whole thing. I’ll let you sit there being mysterious for a little bit though."

Paige laughed. "I’m not tryna be mysterious. I’m just… tryna figure out how to talk into a mic without sounding awkward."

Azzi laughed softly. "Just act like we're on the phone or FaceTime or something."

Paige gave her a look—one silently saying, you definitely don’t want us doing that.

Azzi caught the look and rolled her eyes slightly, laughing again. "Okay, maybe let’s not do that."

Paige nodded with a grin on her face. "Exactly."

Azzi shook her head, picking up the cards in front of her. She scanned through a few trying to find one that she knew would relax Paige a little bit. After a second she turned back to Paige with a grin. “Who's the best shooter on the team?"

Paige snorted. "Me."

Azzi raised an eyebrow "So, we're starting off the first episode with lying, huh?"

"Azzi, I’m a better shooter than you."

"Really? Do we wanna tell everybody what happened yesterday after practice?"

Paige sat up in her chair as she squinted her eyes at Azzi. "You mean when you cheated and threw your ball in the air on my last shot?"

Azzi grinned. "You still missed. Meaning you lost."

Paige shook her head. "You cheated.

Azzi’s grin only grew as she shrugged nonchalantly. "You're just a sore loser."

Paige shot her a glare. "I’m a sore loser? You still can't admit I beat you in a one-on-one."

"Because you didn’t win."

Paige threw her hands up. "Bro, I was up 18-17!"

Azzi’s grin only grew when she saw Paige getting riled up. "Exactly. It was win by two. So, no, you didn’t win."

Paige let out an exaggerated sigh, shaking her head. "Whatever."

Azzi laughed, leaning back in her chair. "I’ll let you be delusional today but we both know what's good."

Paige smirked a little at this but didn't say anything back. Just raised her eyebrows at Azzi before she looked down at her cards. After a moment, she picked one out and glanced up at Azzi.

"Would you rather be stuck in a room with me or Coach for 24 hours?"

Azzi snorted, her face lighting up with amusement. She pretended to think for a moment, tapping her chin dramatically before glancing at Paige with a grin. "I don’t know man...that’s a tough one...you’d get a little annoying after like hour ten."

Paige dropped her jaw in disbelief, looking at Azzi like she’d just been betrayed. "Wowww."

Azzi's eyes sparkled as she looked back at Paige. "Still…I’d rather be stuck in a room with you, Paige."

The way she said it and the way she looked at Paige as she tilted her head slightly, made the words hang in the air for a moment. There was a beat of silence, the slight tension between them clear to everyone in the room. Paige held Azzi’s gaze, and for just a second, neither of them said anything—too caught up in the weight of the moment.

Paige’s smile faded slightly, her heartbeat a little louder in her ears. Azzi blinked, breaking the spell, and leaned back casually in her chair, her grin returning like nothing had happened.

Azzi flipped to the next card, reading it over before glancing at Paige with a curious expression. “Who's the hardest player to guard in college basketball?”

Paige barely hesitated before answering, her voice smooth in the mic. “You.”

Azzi blinked, caught off guard for a split second before a slow smirk spread across her face. “Oh?” she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “Go on.”

Paige rolled her eyes at Azzi’s reaction but continued. “You’re shifty, your release time is basically nonexistent, you can get to the rim, and you never stop moving. It’s annoying.”

Azzi grinned, clearly pleased. “Annoying, huh?”

Paige nodded. “Very.”

“So what I’m hearing is, I give you problems.”

Paige scoffed, shaking her head. “Alright I never said allat.”

Azzi turned to the camera, her smile still present. “You hear that, everybody? Paige Bueckers just admitted that I’m the toughest player she’s had to guard. Basically said she can’t guard me.”

Paige groaned, rubbing her temples. “See, this is why I don’t say nice things. Your head gets bigger than it already is.”

Azzi laughed, clearly enjoying every second of Paige’s frustration, before turning back to the camera. "I swear she’s a lot nicer to me when she isn’t in front of a camera."

Paige scoffed, tilting her head slightly. "That’s funny, ’cause I was just thinking the same thing about you."

Azzi smirked. "Oh yeah?"

Paige nodded, her eyes locked on Azzi. "Mhm. You act all innocent in front of people, but when it’s just us? Whole different person."

Azzi raised an eyebrow. "What kinda different we talkin'?"

Paige leaned forward, a smile forming on her face. "The kinda different when you’re all over me."

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. "You’re wild for saying that on camera."

Paige shrugged, her smile growing. "What? It’s not like I’m lying."

Azzi tilted her head, pretending to consider if she was going to play into this with Paige. "You’re the one who gets all soft when we’re alone. Acting like you don’t melt the second I touch you."

Paige let out a soft laugh. "I don’t melt."

Azzi smirked. "You do."

Paige and Azzi exchanged a look before breaking into quiet laughter, clearly amused by how quickly their conversation had derailed.

"Now look who's flirting on camera," Paige teased.

Azzi shook her head, feigning innocence. "They can cut it out."

Both of them instinctively glanced to the side where the Overtime WBB crew stood, watching. One of the staff members, who had been jotting down notes, simply nodded. "Say no more," she mumbled, scribbling something down—probably making a note to edit out that part.

The staff member finished jotting down notes and looked up at them. "Alright, we’re going to do a speed round of questions to see how well you two know each other which should give us enough to wrap it up for today."

Paige and Azzi both nodded, settling in. Paige glanced at the paper, huffing out a laugh when she saw the question. "What’s my go-to order?"

Azzi snorted. "Chicken tenders and fries."

Paige grinned, satisfied with the answer, but Azzi wasn’t done as she adds, "She eats like a toddler."

Paige gasped. "No, I don’t! They’ve just never failed me. Gotta stick with ole-reliable when I go to new places."

Azzi shook her head, laughing, before reading the next question. "What’s my pregame ritual?"

"You always have to poop right before the game."

"This is true."

Paige continued easily, describing Azzi’s pregame routine as if she had been Azzi’s teammate for years. "But other than that, we both listen to the playlist I made, you tie your shoes a certain way, right first then left, and then you stretch longer than everybody else so you can pretend like—"

Azzi cut her off, eyes widening. "Alright, alright, let’s not spill all my secrets!"

Paige chuckled saying, “What you got opps?”

Azzi mumbles out, “Probably.”

Paige just laughed, shaking her head. She glanced down at her paper again. "What’s one of my pet peeves?"

Azzi didn’t hesitate. "When people chew too loud."

Paige pointed at her. "Facts."

Azzi looked slightly toward the camera before turning back to Paige. "Any time somebody chews loudly, she physically looks like she’s in pain. She’s too nice to say anything, though."

Paige rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it. Instead, she moved on. "Alright, what’s something I always say on the court?"

Azzi laughed instantly. "‘That’s off’—you used to only do it when you shot and knew it was about to miss but you’ve started doing it when I shoot now too."

Paige laughed. "Cause you gotta rebound more so I’m tryna help you out."

"Yeah whatever."

Paige gestured for Azzi to go next.

Azzi glanced down at the paper in front of her, skimming a few of them before asking, "What’s my guilty pleasure TV show?"

Paige leaned back in her chair confidently. "Any Bachelor or Love Island spinoff. You swear you don’t care, but then you get way too invested every time."

Azzi playfully rolled her eyes but grinned. "Okay, fair."

Paige wasn’t done. "Then you force me to watch it with you every night and start asking questions like, ‘Why did he pick her over the other girl?’"

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. "Alright you’re just adding all the extra details to these questions. "

Paige gave her Azzi smile and shrugged. "That’s the game, right?"

Azzi exhaled, looking down to hide her blush before picking her next question. "What’s something random I love?"

Paige didn’t even blink. "The smell of fresh laundry. You always say it’s one of the best smells in the world."

Azzi raised an impressed eyebrow. "I’m surprised you got that one so quick."

Paige shrugged like it was obvious. "That’s because every time you do laundry, you take a deep breath and say, ‘That’s elite’ before you make me fold em."

Azzi covered her face laughing. "Okay, stop exposing me!"

Paige just grinned before asking the next question. "What’s something that instantly annoys me?"

Azzi hummed. "When people take too long to tell a story."

Paige pointed at her again. "Oh my god bro! If you have a five-minute story, please don’t take twenty minutes to tell it."

Azzi shook her head, smiling. "She gets so impatient when people don’t get to the point. I can literally see it on her face. Then she starts fidgeting around like a child."

Paige let out a dramatic sigh. "Because why are you dragging it? Just get to the point!"

Azzi laughed, nodding before glancing at her next question. "What’s one of my biggest fears?"

Paige’s smirk faded slightly as she answered the question softly. "Not reaching your full potential."

Azzi blinked, the playful air between them shifting just for a moment. Paige held her gaze, the answer coming too naturally—reflecting the long conversations and late nights the two of them shared talking about things like that.

Azzi nodded slowly. "Yeah," she said softly before clearing her throat and forcing a smirk. "That and spiders."

Paige let the moment pass and grinned. "Yeah, those too. You basically crawled up my back when there was a spider in my bathroom once"

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. "Alright, next question."

Paige smirked. It was clear she was enjoying herself. "What’s something I do when I’m overthinking?"

Azzi exhaled, already knowing the answer. "You play with your ring on your finger and if you’re trying to not be too obvious because I’m around you bite the inside of your cheek."

Paige stared at her for a moment before grinning because of course Azzi had picked up on the second one "Okay, stalker."

"I just pay attention to you."

Paige didn’t say anything for a second, just held her gaze with that small smirk of hers.

After a beat of silence—just the two of them smiling at each other—the staff member cleared her throat. "Alright guys thank you. I think that’s good for today."

Azzi turned toward them, flashing a polite smile. "Sounds good, thank you."

Paige, however, was still looking at her, that smirk lingering like she knew something Azzi didn’t.

Azzi stood up, stretching her arms above her head before mumbling under her breath, "Stop staring at me creep."

Paige leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms—eyes never leaving Azzi. "Not my fault you’re in my line of sight."

Azzi rolled her eyes but glanced over her shoulder, seeing which staff members were still lingering around. After a second, she seemed satisfied with what she saw and then turned her attention back to Paige.

She moved closer, standing between Paige’s legs, her presence drawing Paige's gaze upward. The smirk on Paige’s face never faltered.

Azzi tilted her head slightly, a glint in her eyes as she reached out to take Paige’s hand, fingers casually playing with hers. "What?" she asked.

Paige tugged gently at Azzi’s hand, pulling her down into her lap. "I like your hair like that," she said softly, her fingers playing with the ends of Azzi's curls as she settled her more comfortably.

Paige glanced up at Azzi, smiling up at her softly. "This okay pretty?"

Azzi looked around again, checking the room before her gaze returned to Paige. She nodded, her voice quiet. "Yeah," she replied, settling into Paige's lap.

As soon as she got confirmation Paige pulled Azzi into a kiss by her jaw. Azzi’s hand instinctively found its way to Paige's cheek, her fingers tracing her face as she kissed back, both of them losing themselves in the moment for a while.

When they broke apart, Azzi whispered softly, her breath still warm against Paige’s lips, "You did well. I’m proud of you baby."

Paige chuckled, her smirk returning as she leaned back slightly. "Thank you."

Azzi raised an eyebrow at Paige’s demeanor, her tone teasing as she asked, "Did you like it?"

Paige, still with that same smirk, shook her head playfully. "Nope."

Azzi laughed, her fingers gently running through Paige's hair as she leaned in again, clearly enjoying the playful tension between them. "You're cute," she mumbled affectionately, her lips brushing Paige's temple.

Azzi’s fingers gently continued to play with Paige’s hair, a soft rhythm as they both relaxed into the moment. Paige let her head fall back against the chair completely, closing her eyes, letting the peace of the moment wash over her. The warmth of Azzi’s presence beside her always felt grounding.

Azzi, always attuned to Paige’s needs, let her take the brief moment of quiet. She shifted slightly, resting her head against Paige's shoulder, her hand still lightly grazing Paige’s hair as she hummed softly when she smelt Paige’s cologne, content to simply be there.

But the stillness didn’t last for long. A soft voice broke the moment. "Hey, sorry to bother you guys."

Azzi blinked, her eyes opening to see a staff member standing nearby. She straightened up, offering a polite smile, though there was still a relaxed air about her. "No problem," Azzi said.

The staff member looked at both of them. "Just wanted to check in to see if there's anything else from the podcast you want to be taken out, besides that one portion we already talked about?"

Paige opened her eyes, glancing over at Azzi showing she fully expected her to answer it for them.

"I think we're good," Azzi said, giving Paige a quick look to silently confirm. "Just that one part...everything else should be fine."

Paige simply nodded in agreement before closing her eyes again.

The staff member made a quick note on her clipboard. "Alright, cool. Just wanted to check in before we wrap up. You can just message us if anything else comes up."

As the staff member walked off, Azzi shifted back into a more relaxed position, her fingers resuming their movements through Paige’s hair. She mumbled, "Kinda crazy how we spent our off day working."

Paige mumbled in response—her eyes still shut. "Tell me about it."

Azzi huffed out a soft laugh, amused by Paige’s tired tone. She leaned in and kissed Paige’s neck gently, the brief contact making Paige grin.

Pulling away just enough, Azzi sat up, looking down at Paige with a small smile. "Let’s get you back to the room before you pass out sleepyhead," she said softly as she helped Paige sit up.

Paige stretched slowly, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she finally met Azzi’s eyes, still smiling. "I’m not sleepy… just...happy I don’t have to talk."

Azzi grinned, raising an eyebrow. "Whatever you say," she replied. Her eyes softened when she noticed the way Paige’s eyes were starting to droop. "You’re gonna pass out the second we get back to the room, aren’t you?"

Paige didn’t answer right away, but the lazy smile on her face and the way she leaned slightly on Azzi as they began to walk was enough of an answer. Azzi shook her head in amusement, offering her a gentle nudge as she led the way toward the door. "I knew it," she mumbled with a grin.

Once small clips of the podcast were released, the attention on Paige and Azzi only grew. The fans were watching more closely if possible, dissecting every interaction, every glance, every touch.

The two of them didn’t mind. Paige who was still reacclimating to the overwhelming attention, was more reserved around fans in general. But one thing she never did was change how she acted with Azzi. Whether cameras were on them or not, Azzi remained within reach—adjusting Paige’s hoodie strings, fixing her chain, brushing something off her sleeve. Small gestures that didn’t go unnoticed because there was no one else on the team doing them.

It was ironic, really. Fans remembered Paige playfully yelling at Ice during a livestream, claiming she hated being touched after Ice bear hugged her. Yet, with Azzi, she never seemed to mind.

Some of the more in-tune fans noticed subtle shifts in their demeanor when they were in public versus when they were on lives or behind the scenes. Paige was usually the protective one—shooting glares at the team when they bothered Azzi, draping an arm around her when she was pouring about something. But when they were at games or events, surrounded by fans, the roles seemed to reverse. Azzi subtly became the protective one.

She was the one gently guiding Paige away from crowded situations, standing just slightly in front of her when fans ran over to them too quickly, placing a hand on her lower back when the attention became too much. People other than just fans were starting to notice.

"Have y’all realized that Paige acts all big and bad with the team but the second they’re in public, Azzi’s the one protecting her???"

"No, let's talk about it bc Azzi is always making sure Paige is comfortable in crowded spaces and I think I’m gonna cry."

…

The event was supposed to be simple—meet fans, take pictures, sign a few autographs. And if this had been two years ago, it probably would have been much calmer. But things had changed.

With the rise in popularity, the number of fans crowding the venue had grown, completely filling the space with excited chatter and eager energy. People called out players' names, some holding jerseys and posters, others just wanting a quick interaction. Paige, despite being a transfer, had been welcomed with open arms. And if there was any doubt before the event, it was clear now—these fans completely adored her.

Azzi was caught up in conversation, taking pictures, signing things, flashing smiles when she needed to, but every so often, her eyes drifted toward Paige.

At first, it was just out of habit—glancing over to check in, to get a quick glimpse of her girlfriend.

But then, the crowd around Paige continued to grow.

Azzi’s stomach tensed as she watched more people press in, everyone trying to get a moment of her attention. At first, Paige didn’t seem to mind. She was still smiling, still quietly answering questions.

But Azzi knew better.

She remembered one night, months ago, when Paige had admitted, almost offhandedly, “Since the accident I get really claustrophobic sometimes. Not all the time, but when too many people are around me, and I can’t move the way I want or go where I want, it just…gets to me I guess.”

Azzi hadn’t forgotten.

Which was why she kept glancing over now, watching the way Paige’s shoulders stiffened just slightly, the way her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes anymore. The way she was playing with the ring on her finger was always a clear sign of discomfort.

Azzi didn’t hesitate to make her way towards her after that. She didn’t rush, didn’t make it obvious—just started subtly making her way toward the crowd, offering a few more smiles, taking a couple more pictures along the way.

Azzi was nearly there when she saw Paige tensing as a fan wrapped an arm around her waist for a picture. It might have looked normal to anyone else, just a casual pose for the picture but the fan's arm was pressed securely around Paige’s torso, right where her scar was.

Paige didn’t say anything. She just offered a tight smile, her fingers still idly twisting the ring on her finger relentlessly.

Sliding smoothly into the group, Azzi greeted the fans with her usual warmth, her voice light. “Hey guys, how’s it going?”

The distraction was enough. The fan instinctively loosened her hold as she turned toward her, and in that split second, Azzi slid in. “Mind if I hop in for one?” she asked, flashing her grin. Before the fan could fully process it, Azzi gently moved their arm away from Paige, positioning herself in the middle instead. The way she did it was subtle—done so effortlessly that no one would think twice about it.

The picture was taken, and Azzi smiled at the fan before signing something for her.

After that she turned toward the group smiling as she said, “Sorry, guys, I need to steal her for a second,” already reaching for Paige’s hand to tug her away from the group.

Azzi guided Paige toward the exit, her hand resting lightly on Paige’s back as they weaved through the maze of people. As they neared the door, Azzi caught CD’s questioning look from nearby. With a simple glance, CD silently asked where they were going.

Azzi mouthed, Just taking a quick break.

CD gave a small nod of approval, trusting them both, before turning back to the chaos of the event.

Azzi led Paige toward the team's coach bus, still parked out front. The cool air was a welcome contrast to the heat of the packed venue, and the moment they stepped onto the empty bus, Paige exhaled deeply. They slid into a random seat, and as soon as she was sitting, Paige dragged her hands down her face, finally letting herself breathe.

Azzi didn’t say anything at first. She knew Paige needed a moment to gather herself. Instead, she just sat beside her, letting the quietness settle between them.

But when she noticed Paige starting to zone out, her eyes becoming unfocused, her fingers idly twisting the ring on her hand again, Azzi reached over and gently took her hand.

“What’s going on in that pretty head?” she asked her softly.

Paige let out a quiet breath, giving Azzi a small, appreciative smile before shaking her head. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she admitted, “I don’t know if I can do this, Az.”

Azzi’s brows knitted together as she turned toward Paige. “What do you mean?”

Paige let out a slow exhale, her fingers still playing with the ring on her finger. "I don’t know how to do this whole public figure thing anymore," she admitted, her voice quiet. "Before the accident, it was easier. Even though it was hectic, I could handle it—I loved it. But now… everything’s just harder. Social media, interactions, all of it."

Azzi frowned slightly, wanting to ease her worries. "You don’t need to be a public figure to be a basketball player P."

Paige simply gave her a look—one that silently told Azzi they both knew that wasn’t true.

Paige took a deep breath before continuing, her tone filled with frustration. "How am I supposed to be a face of a league team when I can’t even handle a crowd at a damn bowling alley?"

Azzi sighed softly before adjusting, hooking her arm through Paige’s and leaning her head against her shoulder. She reached down, replacing Paige’s hand with her own as she began absentmindedly playing with the ring on Paige’s finger, both of them staring ahead in silence for a moment.

Then, after gathering her thoughts, Azzi finally spoke. "You’re going to be perfectly fine, baby."

She paused, knowing she needed to explain why in a way that made sense to Paige. After a brief moment, she continued, her head still resting against Paige’s shoulder. "You’re so easy for people to love, to root for, to gravitate to."

Azzi lifted her head slightly, glancing at Paige before leaning down and continuing. "The moment you announced you were transferring to UConn, your name was everywhere. Every sports outlet, every social media page—everyone was talking about the return of Paige Bueckers." She paused, her fingers still gently twisting the ring. "You didn’t even have a social media presence and brands still threw the craziest deals at you."

Paige listened quietly, her chest rising and falling steadily as she took in Azzi’s words.

"You went from not being mentioned on draft boards to jumping into the first round after what…four games?" Azzi tilted her head slightly before laughing at herself. "I started rambling and kinda lost my train of thought."

Paige chuckled softly, the sound warm as she kissed Azzi’s head before leaning her own against Azzi’s.

Azzi smiled before letting out a quiet breath. "I guess my point was, I’m saying all of this to remind you that despite everything you went through, despite how much it still weighs on you. How much you still want to work on…you’re a light for everyone else. You’re a genuine person, you have the sweetest soul of anyone I’ve ever met. You’re talented, honest, and just…” Azzi pauses to gather her thoughts, silently thanking the universe for giving her someone like Paige. She continues saying, “You’re just an amazing human baby. And people don’t see that a lot in public figures these days."

Paige closed her eyes for a moment, letting the words settle.

"You could never post on social media again, you could hire a social media manager to handle everything, and people would still love you," Azzi continued. "They love you even when you don’t interact with them. Just being in the same room as you is enough for some of them. Just getting a glimpse of you—I don’t know if I’m cut out to make the decisions but if I was a GM that sounds like a damn great person to build my team around.”

Paige swallowed, her fingers curling around Azzi’s. She didn’t say anything right away, but the tension in her shoulders slowly began to ease.

Azzi squeezed Paige’s hand gently, grounding her before she continued. "No, you might not be the same Paige from high school—the one who filmed TikToks with kids after games and didn’t mind when hundreds of people waited for her and warmed her." She glanced up, making sure Paige was listening. "But this version of you? This perfect version of you that I love more than anything in this world. You still find time to make people’s day, even when you don’t realize it."

Paige exhaled softly, her body relaxing against Azzi.

"It’s gonna take time to get used to it again," Azzi admitted. "And that’s perfectly fine. Until then, just doing it in small bursts is enough." She played with the ring on Paige’s finger again. "And just so we’re clear—you are not obligated to give your time to anyone."

Paige let out a quiet huff of laughter, shaking her head slightly.

Azzi raised an eyebrow, a smile forming. "What?"

Paige turned to her, her blue eyes soft and filled with something Azzi recognized instantly. "I just love you," she whispered. "And I’m so thankful that God brought you into my life."

While Paige was saying this, Azzi's brown eyes were locked onto Paige’s blue ones the entire time. Her heart swelled, a slow smile forming as she whispered, "I love you too beautiful."

Azzi held Paige’s gaze for a moment before suddenly perking up. “One sec,” she said, standing up before Paige could question her.

Paige watched in confusion as Azzi walked toward her actual seat on the bus, rummaging through her bag. “What are you doing?” she said, brows furrowing.

“Hold on,” Azzi replied, focused as she finally pulled something out. She turned back, making her way toward Paige again, a small box now in her hand.

When she reached her, she held it out. “Here,” she said. “Open it.”

Paige looked at the box, then back at Azzi, suspicion flickering across her features. “Azzi…”

Azzi groaned, already anticipating the resistance. “Don’t be difficult.”

Paige huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking her head before finally lifting the lid. Her breath hitched when she saw the delicate silver necklace inside, a heart-shaped locket resting in the center. She blinked, stunned, before looking back up at Azzi, who was watching her with a soft smile.

“Open the locket,” Azzi said gently.

Paige carefully lifted the necklace from the box, her fingers grazing the cool metal as she unclasped the locket. Inside there was a small picture staring back at her—one of the first pictures they’d taken together. The memory was still so clear even though it seemed like two different versions of them.

A lump formed in Paige’s throat as her fingers trembled slightly, tracing the edge of the locket. No one had ever given her something like this before—something so thoughtful.

Azzi shifted beside her, watching her reaction closely. “You always say I make crowds and things like that easier,” she rambled. “So, I wanted to give you that—so you know I’m always there, even when I can’t be physically next to you.”

Paige took a long exhale, her chest tightening in a way she couldn’t quite explain. Slowly, she looked back up at Azzi, her blue eyes glistening.

“Baby…this is beautiful,” she whispered, her voice almost lost in the empty bus.

Azzi smiled and reached for the locket. “Here, let me put it on.”

Paige turned slightly, pulling her hair to the side as Azzi unclasped the necklace and carefully fastened it around her neck. Her fingers lingered for a moment, rubbing the back of Paige’s neck gently which only made her chest fill with more warmth.

When Paige let her hair fall back into place, her fingers found the locket resting against her shirt. She held it lightly, rubbing her thumb over the surface. “I love it,” she admitted, her voice softer than before, more vulnerable. “I love you.”

Azzi grinned, nudging Paige’s knee with her own. “I know.”

Paige rolled her eyes, a chuckle escaping her lips. “Bro you’re annoying.”

Azzi laughed, nudging her one more time. “I love you too, big head.”

They sat there for a moment in comfortable silence, both knowing they needed to head back inside. With a shared sigh, they stood, their fingers brushing briefly before Azzi stepped toward the door.

Just before they stepped off the bus, Paige gently grabbed Azzi’s wrist, stopping her in place. Azzi turned, a silent question in her eyes, but before she could say anything, Paige tugged her in, pressing a delicate kiss to her lips.

Azzi, of course, kissed her back, her hand resting on Paige’s hip, rubbing a few circles against her skin before she pulled away slightly. “You ready to go back to the chaos?”

Paige huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. “Not really,” she admitted.

Azzi grinned. “Too bad. I gotta go be the people’s princess.” With that, she grabbed Paige’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze before pulling her off the bus. As they neared the entrance, they made sure to drop their hands, slipping seamlessly back into the world that was waiting for them.

This time, though, Paige felt much better about everything.

[samkerrworshipper]

celebrations pt.4

barca femeni x reader

warnings: minors dni. 18+ content

i’d like to start this off by saying it’s completely wild to me that this initiation verse started over a year ago and i’m still here and people are still reading and enjoying it! as per usual with all my orgy fics this fic would not exist without the existence of @vixwritesagain who literally secretly runs woso orgy fics lol honestly after writing the last chapter of celebrations i thought i was done with this whole universe but we’re back? and maybe wanting to write another series? anyways send me ideas if anyone has any for future initiation fics but for now enjoy!!!!

“So tell me then, what do you want?”

You looked up at Alexia dumfoundedly.

It wasn’t as easy of a question as she was making it out to be, truly, you had no idea what it was that you wanted.

You’d been able to mentally cross out the things Alexia had offered you, but there was still a big fog covering your desires.

Her hand loosens around your throat, giving you enough oxygen to be unable to blame your lack of awareness on it. She moves her hands down to rest on your collarbones, like a necklace made out of her hands.

You want something, you want gratification, you want to feel good, but it isn’t as simple as it normally is. There isn’t a craving for pleasure inside of you, there isn’t a deep craving for anything. You want attention, you just aren’t sure how to convey that without it sounding stupid.

Alexia’s pupils are completely blown, she looks like a drug addict whose just gotten a fix of her favourite drug. Even as she appears to be controlled, like she is in charge of everything happening, it was obviously clear that she was just as affected by everything happening as you where. Her smirk faltered for a second, it was hard to pick up on but for a second, she pouted, like she knew that she couldn’t give you what you wanted without you asking for it, even though she so clearly just wanted to just take control.

“I don’t know.”

Alexia looks disappointed and then it fades into annoyance.

“You don’t know or you don’t want? The two mean very different things.”

Alexia’s discreetly asking if for whatever reason you don’t want this any more, it’s nice and whilst you do feel overstimulated and you’re starting to develop the shivers all across your body from the constant push and pull of the experience you are taking part in.

“I don’t know.”

Alexia exhales, like she’s trying to push all of the oxygen out of her lungs and eliminate all of the tension she’s feeling.

She’s so swift you get tangled up in a whirlwind of her body as she lifts you up, pulling you into her lap.

“So you’re going to be difficult, that’s fine, I’m very good at breaking little girls who like to be defiant.”

Alexia places a kiss to your forehead, it’s deliberate, then she slides you off of her lap and into her warmed spot on the armchair. Alexia doesn’t waste as much time, and whether you’re aware of it or not, your gut only warms as you subconsciously realise it’s because she’s just as desperate to get back to you as you are to have her.

By now, Ona is crumpled on the bed, folded in a unceremonious pile of her bones, skin and sheets. Lucy is lapping at her lazily, slow and soft and the opposite of everything you’d seen with your own eyes a few minutes ago.

“Lucia.”

Lucy looks up and you see the big smirk on her face, her pupils are blown and her chin and mouth are shining, covered completely in Ona.

“Si, capitana?”

Lucy’s words carry the confidence that you’re familiar with, post-fuck Lucy is maybe on of your guiltiest pleasures, it’s subtly confident with a streak of complete contentment. It’s also one of the only time that she truly seems to be completely at peace, serene with the energy surrounding.

“I assume you won’t be using that?”

Alexia points to the strap so unceremoniously that it could be as though she was asking Lucy for something as mundane as a piece of gum or a spare hair tie.

“I’d be happy to put it too good use on your girl.”

Alexia rolls her eyes, and doesn’t hesitate whatsoever to lean down to meet Lucy half way.

Their kiss is quick, Alexia uses her vantage point to reach down and undo some of the harness from Lucy’s hips.

“If she starts behaving then you are welcome, but until then she’s mine.”

Alexia reaches down and ruffles Ona’s hair, whispering something in spanish about her taste, your ability to process english is limited in this moment, adding spanish is just impossible.

In the few steps between yourself and Lucy, Alexia manages and impressive feat of pulling the harness on and securing it. You are completely and utterly mesmerised, by the time she does make it to you, you are suddenly feeling some regret for your actions.

Alexia smirks from above you, like she knows that she’s won, not that she would have ever doubted it. Alexia always won, no matter what it was, she didn’t know what it meant to lose and she would never accept defeat.

She lifts you up, takes her spot back, and then balances you back on her lap.

You go pliably, even as she turns you around to face the rest of the room, your ass now rubbing against her newest addition to the equation.

“You’re going to sit here, on my cock. I’m not going to do anything, not until you say the words you know I want to hear. Grind away, rock up and down, do whatever you need to do. It won’t be enough, nothing is going to be enough. The desperation will get to you. You know how I know that? Because every slut is the same, you may act different, you may tell yourself that you are stronger but at the end of the day your desire is going to win. You don’t move until then, I’ll wait here watching the rest of the show all night, it doesn’t matter to me. Make a mess of my thighs and yours, try and keep yourself under control, but it’s not going to work.”

Alexia lifts you up as she whispers in your ear, guiding you down onto the strap with ease. It’s almost embarrassing how easily you slide down, it’s nowhere near the biggest strap you’ve take for Alexia, you know because you saw it. But something about the gravity of your situation makes it feel bigger, your feel full before your even halfway on it. You almost say something, but Alexia’s words sync in, nothing you say matters unless you’re saying what she wants to hear.

Alexia takes her time seating you, the last few inches disappear into you at a snails pace, like Alexia is trying to draw out your torture as much as possible.

When she finally moves her hands from your ass, letting you melt into her lap the reality of your situation sets in. When Alexia’s hands had been on your body the sensation had been satisfying, but now that you are completely exposed and left to your own devices your predicament is feeling a lot less fun.

Aitana, Frido and Ingrid are no longer a three. Now Jenni and Aitana are together, Aitana lying on her side on the bed whilst Jenni marks her up shamelessly and pumps her fingers in and out from behind at a steady pace. Ingrid, Mapi and Frido is a sight to behold. Your eyes naturally fall to Frido, her blonde head so hard to miss from it’s spot inbetween Mapi’s legs, sucking directly on her clit, her arms are hooked around Mapi’s thighs, opening her up as much as she can. Ingrid is harder to spot, considering that she’s lying beneath Mapi but with every thrust of her legs up, you catch a different angle. You can’t quite see where Ingrid is thrusting into, but based on the look on Mapi’s face you make the judgment it must be her pussy, the way her mouth is unwavering in it’s large O and how her eyes are tight and scrunched, her eyebrows nearly melting into the creases of her eyelids.

You don’t know when you start subconsciously grinding on the strap, but it happens naturally. Your body needs to move, needs to feel, needs to grasp some kind of pleasure that everyone around you is experiencing. Alexia doesn’t try to stop you, she knows that you aren’t going to be capable of getting yourself to the edge, you’re welcome to try your hardest though.

What Alexia doesn’t necessarily expect is your reaction to Lucy and Keira.

Keira is sitting in Lucy’s lap, the two of them making out on the bed. It’s not exactly heated, and whilst Lucy’s hand is sitting comfortably on Keira’s hip, allowing her to grind on Lucy’s toned thigh, there’s nothing obviously eye-catching about it. Yet for you, when your eyes land there, it’s like a switch flips. Your ankles stretch behind you, balancing on the limited amount of space left on the armchair of either side of Alexia, you lock your calves, and with a hint of hesitance you begin to use gravity to grind down, and try to bounce on Alexia’s strap.

Alexia lets you go, slightly mesmersied by the way your eyes lock onto Keira and Lucy, it’s the first sign she’s seen all day that you want something, that you are watching something and feel actively connected to it. She would have preferred if it had something to do with her own actions, but her minor jealousy fades as you begin to slowly rock on the strap. You use the little elevation you have to move up and down on it, using gravity to grind down. Alexia wants to touch, wants to feel, wants to include herself in some part of it all. She stays strong though, for this to work she needs to stay strong.

Your response when Lucy touches Keira for the first time is visceral, when Keira moans so do you and something about the clear connection is making Alexia feel the most out of control she has in a while. She’s so certain that no matter what visual stimuli you’re provided with, no matter what fantasies are coming to fruition that you will be unable to get the kind of stimulation you are aching for from simply observing.

With every movement the two make, you try and push yourself more. You’re not aware of it, but Lucy and Keira are well aware of what is happening across the room from them. You’re so dumb from all the endorphins pinging inside of your head that all you can focus on is what they’re doing and trying to get yourself off on Alexia’s strap. What becomes obviously clear to you though, as you watch Lucy and Keira is that everything about your circumstances is wrong.

You can’t get the right angle, you can’t get the sensation of somebody elses hands on you, none of it is right. You get more frustrated by the second. Alexia finds it quite cute, watching you squirm and move your feet around trying to find a new angle or position that will give you what you’re looking for but none of it seems to do it for you.

You moan, as if it’ll somehow alleviate all of the built up pressure inside of you. Alexia knows it doesn’t work when you try three more times just to collapse in her lap. Your legs go first, then your abdominal muscles and your shoulders until at what seems like a very uncomfortable position you slump backwards into Alexia.

Through it all you don’t take your eyes off of Keira and Lucy, not as their hands travel south, not as they both start to tease each other in a spectacle that has even Alexia keening.

Alexia may not be the one to break you, but this will be, she is certain.

“You could have that, all of that bebita, if you’d just say something.”

You don’t relax, even as you go limp. Sure, your body slackens but she can feel your muscles still tight, pulsing and unable to ease.

“P-Please.”

You’re trembling, your muscles uncomfortably stretched and your whole body shaking. It’s not enough, nothing you do at this angle will be enough.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

Alexia’s been dragging this out for hours now, since the stadium, on the bus, whilst all of her teammates have been getting off. It’s so worth it to feel how your body jerks momentarily when her lips press against your ear lobe.

She nips it for just a second, just to enjoy the reaction that it elicits when your ankles force you back up from your fully seated position.

“Please, I can’t do it myself, can’t fuck myself the same way that you do.”

Alexia nips at your earlobe again, the reaction is too good not to take advantage of.

“Oh does bebita need help? Not strong enough to handle it all by yourself, hm?”

You nod, frantic and desperate. You’re sick of watching, sick of feeling nothing but edge, you need something.

“Please.”

Every syllable is annunciated as clearly as possible considering the pants and huffs that leave your mouth every time Alexia floats her fingers over some part of your skin or places her lips somewhere else.

“Please, Ale, can’t do it myself. Need you to fuck me, need you.”

You practically mewl, whimpering, begging for Alexia to take some kind of pity on you.

“The problem is bebita, that I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out what you want, trying to teach you a lesson that I’m feeling quite tired now. Muy Cansada. I’m not quite sure if I’m up to fulfilling what you need. It’s going to take some convincing”

You’re endorphin high, but you’re capable enough to read between the lines of what Alexia is asking.

“Please Ale, whatever you want, anything, I’ll take anything. I’ll give anything, just please.”

Alexia pushes both of her hands against your abdomen, snaking her fingers until they cover the whole width from your hips to your bellybutton.

“I’m so happy how we are though. Doesn’t it feel good having my cock all snug in your pussy? What else could you want bebita?”

You’re close to screaming, or that’s at least how you feel. There are so many feelings, so much pent up energy that you weren’t fully aware you had and now you do it’s like a big wave crashing over you.

“Please just fuck me. Rough- please Ale, please, can’t do it myself.”

Alexia let’s some of her fingers dip to just above your mound, her grip is tight enough to bruise and you silently wish that it will.

“I don’t know bebita, you were so hesitant earlier, I think it’s best we work you up to those kinds of things. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you too much.”

Alexia shifts both of her thighs, driving the strap further up into your for the first time, you nearly shriek from the stimulation.

“Alexia, Capi, please. Need it, need it rough, now, please.”

Alexia keeps one hand steady on your stomach, and brings the other one up to your chin, using the same grip on the bones and muscles across the new lay of skin.

“You don’t have any control here. If I say we’re taking it slow, we’re taking it slow. I’ve had enough of your teasing, did you really think after all of that I was going to fuck you just the way you wanted? No, baby, we’re going to take this nice and slow, just how I want and if you can do what I ask then maybe, just maybe I’ll fuck you how you want. Entender?”

You don’t really have any choice but to nod, Alexia’s been soft with you all night, this new energy is only maing you more desperate for something rough, something that is going to make you forget this whole night in it’s entirety and leave you with sore muscles from more than playing 90 minutes of football.

“Good, I know just how much of a good girl you can be even if you don’t want to admit it. I’ve got a deal for you bebita, if you can play my game then I’ll fuck you how you want, you can have whatever you please. But you have to play by my rules.”

It’s so easy to nod and agree, even when you know that Alexia’s proposal could be pure torture.

She reaches over to the table beside her, picking up the bullet vibe she’d kept in your panties the whole bus ride.

“You’re going to press this to your pretty little clit, you’re going to use my cock to get as close to your orgasm as you can. Every time you get close you’ll take the vibe away, you can only come once Keira does, if you come beforehand then we’re going to play my way all night, and I can guarantee that’ll be the last thing you want.”

Alexia presses the vibe into your shaking hands, it’s so easy to hesitate. Keira and Lucy are both taking their time, you can’t even quite tell if they’re touching eachother properly yet, or if their makeout is going to become even more stretched out. They’re dynamic is soft in a way that you would normally crave but not right now, right now you want to be like Ona, passed out beside Lucy, her whole body boneless and thoroughly fucked beyond belief.

“Is there a problem?”

You could say no, deny again and put yourself through another trial set by Alexia. It would land you in the same place though, and whilst you’re feeling particularly bratty on this occasion you’re tiring whether it’s from being mercilessly stimulated by your surroundings or the day of football you’ve had. You’re exhaustion is getting the best of you and you won’t be able to sustain it for much longer.

It’s a slow motion production, your hand and forearm resting on Alexia’s as you click the button on the bottom of the cibrator. You try not to flinch away from the movements it immediately makes, Alexia’s hand covers your own, clicking it three more times to put it on the highest level. Her hand pushes yours downwards, until it’s hovering directly above your pussy.

Alexia’s the one who pushes, your whole body jerks as soon as the vibrator makes contact. Alexia’s hands on your stomach and hips keep you still, prohibiting you from moving away from your hand.

You’re close within a matter of mere seconds, the excessive stimulation on top of the arousal you’ve already been experiencing is too much.

You move your hand away as soon as you feel the coil tightening, it would be easy to enjoy a few extra seconds of the bliss but you know in the long run that it’ll be easier if you keep yourself controlled.

You’re relieved when you hear Keira moan from across the room and the clear visual that she’s riding on Lucy’s fingers, it’s a sign enough that maybe your assigned punishment won’t be as long-winded as you’d originally presumed.

When the initial pleasure fades you put your hand back to it’s spot, the bullet presses directly to your clit. The sensation is pounding, your eyes feel heavy from the intensity of it all and your abs hurt from the constant core workout it feels like the position you are in is causing.

You get close again, and without Alexia having to say or do anything you remove your hand. It’s almost easy, watching Lucy and Keira and mirroring what’s happening. It’s supposed to be some kind of tease or punishment and yet you find yourself happy enough to play along with it.

You enjoy it but that doesn’t take away from the levels of frustration that you are going through, there isn’t anything fulfilling about edging yourself whilst being in a room surrounded by people who could be giving you something. You could have so much, and yet you’re perched on Alexia’s lap completely at her mercy.

You want something more, you want Alexia to give you something more.

“Ale, Alexia, please.”

There are fresh tears pooling in the edges of your eyes, you just want something.

“Please, Please, Alexia please just fuck me.”

Alexia lifts her hips, thrusting up to give you something. She won’t go back on her word, not when she’s so focused on making sure that you know just how much she means to show you how much she appreciates you.

“Do you need some help? Go ahead baby, cry and pout all you want but you aren’t coming until Keira does. I don’t care if it takes 2 minutes or 2 hours, I’m going to keep this same slow pace and you’re going to take it. All of this could have been avoided if you’d just been a good girl earlier, think about how much fun you could have had? Jenni and I fantasised about all the things we could do to you, I know that Lucy and Keira had their own plans, and if Mapi had of managed to get her hands on you then you would have been broken in two by the time the sun came up. But, you came in between that, you wrecked all of our perfect plans and there’s nothing you or I can do about it now.”

Alexia keeps up the slow rocking, her legs bouncing you up and down at such a slow pace that it feels like the nerves in your body are slowly pulling themselves a part.

“Alexia please, I can’t edge again, I can’t do it, please don’t make me do it again.”

Alexia’s weaknesses are limited to a very short list, you begging for her though is one of her biggest ones. Especially considering the pure desperation that fuels your every word.

“You’re not done until Keira is, and if you’re going to beg then you should do it properly bebita.”

Alexia pulls your hand away from your clit when she feels your legs begin to clench.

“Again, quicker this time.”

Alexia pushes your ahdn back down and as much as you enjoy watching Keira and Lucy you can’t do it anymore. You can’t watch the teasing happening right in front of you knowing that it’s all some sort of mind-fuck power play. Alexia has a purpose behind all of this, and even if you don’t want to let her win you’re at your witsend.

“Please, I’ve been a good girl, I’ll be your good girl. I’ve been so good, please Alexia just fuck me.”

By the rules of Alexia’s game you’ve lost, but in your mind you’ve won as soon as the words leave your mouth.

Alexia’s hips snap, she drives deep.

“There we go bebita, you learnt your lesson, hmm? It wasn’t that hard was it, was it really worth all of that just to admit it?”

Her pace goes from slow to brutal, her hips snapping up and both of her hands landing on your hips.

“You want it rough hm? C’mon baby, cum for me, you’ve waited long enough. Tell me you’re a good girl and you can cum”

It doesn’t take long at all, you don’t expect it to. You’ve been wound tight and now that Alexia is taking matters into her own hands you have one goal.

“I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl, I’m a good girl.”

The tears fall from your eyes, nothing you could do can stop it. Everything has built to this one moment, hours and hours of teasing and taunting and prolonged torture for this.

You orgasm with your whole body, your toes curl, your muscles all cramp, everything tightens all for it to completely relax once the initial wave crashes. It’s cathartic, it’s everything you’d been searching for and more, you feel so satisfied, for the first time all day.

You don’t feel like every pressure around you is sitting on your shoulders, you don’t think about how one pass could have made a difference, you don’t think about how you weren’t focused enough on the pitch, all you focus on is the pure pleasure now flowing through your veins.

Alexia cools you down, nice and slow, letting you come back down from what was an almost embarrassingly loud and quick orgasm. You’re not bothered though, you’re happy in your little bubble.

“C’mon my good girl, let’s move you to the bed, not quite done with you yet.”

Alexia lifts you off her cock, a motion that makes you very unhappy. You’ve gotten so used to the pleasant fullness that you’re in no place to be losing it so quickly.

“Don’t worry bebita, you’ll have me back in you in just a moment.”

Alexia lifts you up in her arms, she turns you around and balance your limp body in her arms before heading over to the bed that Lucy and Keira are still sat on.

Ona is more aware now, watching on as Keira and Lucy continue with their never ending makeout.

“Ready for more, Oni?”

Ona smirks, big and wide, like she’d been waiting for this moment.

“Well, if I must.”

Alexia lays you down on the bed gently, leaving open kisses across your chest and licking stripes up and down your neck as she follows you onto the mattress.

“You want to prove to me that you can be my good girl, hm? Will you let Oni get off on your face whilst I fuck you like the little slut you are? Just a dumb slut here to be used.”

The offer is too good to pass up and Ona seems to think the same. She waits patiently as Alexia works to the side of Keira and Lucy, lying you back against the pillows and situating herself between your legs.

Alexia adjusts until she’s happy, folding your legs up and to the side, giving her as good as an angle she can get with your floppiness.

“Keep the open, si? Close them and I stop.”

You’re eyes are focused on Ona, the way her lip is between her teeth as she sits on the back of her heels, just watching you.

“Ey, legs open, just because you’re starting to behave doesn’t mean I won’t punish you.”

Alexia’s slap to your thigh is enough of a message, you focus your attention back on her and away from Ona’s roaming eyes and pretty lips and her bed hair which is giving you new fantasies to focus on.

“Oni, go ahead.”

The last glance you get at Ona’s face is enough to send a whole new wave of arousal to begin to pool between your legs. It’s pornographic by nature, she looks so… fuckable. Which makes sense because you’d seen Lucy completely rail her, had watched as Ona had been bent and stretched in every different position. Yet she still has the energy to look at you as if your the only person in the room laying naked in front of her, like you are the main act.

You’re observation of Ona is short lived as she swings one of her legs over the side of your face and without any hesitation whatsoever begins to sit down. You welcome it, wrapping your arms around the back of her thighs and making it easier for her to balance.

Even after being fucked in every way possible she’s still so wet, you start off with slow stripes, long and purposeful, trying to savour as much of her wetness in your mouth as you can. You hardly notice as Alexia pushes her strap back into you, you’re so focused on Ona that you hardly shudder.

“Is she all wet bebita, still overstimulated from Lucia, shouldn’t take much.”

Alexia’s right, as always. As soon as your lips lock onto Ona’s clit, sucking at a steady pace, she squirms. No amount of stamina can make being built back up after that many orgasms pleasant, Ona tries to play it off but her involuntary flinch every few seconds when you suck particularly hard on a certain spot is a clear tell.

You double down, feeling her squirm and rock and try to push away from you makes you silently satisfied. You don’t have much power in these circumstances, no matter the context, but this little bit is enough for you. You hold tight on Ona’s thighs, try your hardest not to buck as Alexia’s begins to fuck you deep and fast, like she’s trying to prove just how well she knows how to fuck you. She doesn’t need to show you, you’re well aware from the many nights spent between bedsheets with her and your other teammates. Alexia knows exactly how to get you where she wants.

You know Ona’s about to come when she moans deep and loud and for the first time she starts to grind down against your chin, she might be overstimulated but the reality of her orgasm being so close beats out the unpleasant mixture of pain and pleasure.

She falls apart quickly and quietly, you figure that she’s felt so much tonight that this is the nice bow to place on top, a perfect encore for the previous events.

She doesn’t wait for you to clean her up, she lifts herself up with as much grace as a baby deer and collapses on the bed next to you.

You expect that to be the end, but before you can look up at Alexia, Ona plants her hands on your cheek, bringing you into a kiss that you were not at all ready for.

It’s all tongue and teeth from Ona, quick and desperate and yet somehow peaceful.

“I taste good on you.”

The comment makes your abs clench and your pussy to clamp down on Alexia’s strap. You’d been close, how close you weren’t quite sure but that’s enough.

You’ll reflect on it later and be slightly self-conscious about how much Ona’s words had effected you, but right now it doesn’t matter.

Alexia seems to be as shocked as you, her pace staying the same as she watches you completely lose it. Your hips shake and buck, your legs tremble and quiver and Ona just smirks like she’s god himself.

“Lucia come taste me on bebita, don’t I just taste wonderful?”

If you weren’t directly out of an orgasm you would probably go again, but you’re still halfway through your current one when Lucy leans over from her spot with Keira and places her lips on your chin, making her way up to your lips and finding whatever Ona had left on your face.

“Mm, it’s a good mix. Do you like having Ona’s taste all over you? She tastes so good doesn’t she?”

Lucy’s lips on yours, Ona’s lips on your neck, Keira’s lips now on your chest and Alexia fucking into you like a maniac. When you’d been asked what you wanted earlier this had not been what had come to mind, but if you could have thought this up it would have been the top of the list.

“You look so good with cum all over your face baby, maybe we should just keep you like this? Our little oral slut, always with a pussy, cock or fingers in her mouth. You’d be such a happy little slut.”

There are no words you can think of to respond, you have nothing, not a single thing comes to your mind.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? It would be so much easier, just letting us make all of the decisions. I know just how much Ale would love it, look at how hard she fucks you as I talk about it, your mouth is hers and everybody elses weakness.”

You unashamedly come as Lucy whispers in your ear, it’s unstoppable, it’s nowhere near as strong as the other two but it breaks you. Alexia sees it, she knows it’s happening, Lucy’s words work even better than Ona’s. Alexia’s hands soothe over your thighs as she works you through it, your whole body trembles, shaking below her hands whilst you work through the aftershocks.

She plans to work you through it, but she gets a very intentional look from Lucy and understands immediately. She pulls out as gently as she can, watching as your body clenches down on her strap.

Alexia unclips the harness as quickly as possible, throwing it off to the side before working her way up to the top of your body and rubbing her arms up and down your stomach, soft and subtle.

Keira and Ona get the message, moving off to the side whilst Lucy takes Alexia’s position between your legs.

You whimper when her tongue finds its way between your folds. Alexia holds your hands by your side when you try to move them to push Alexia out of the way.

“No more, no more, can’t go again.”

Your words are so broken, your eyes half open and your brain clearly not functioning at any level.

“It’s okay, just let Lucia clean you up, she’ll be nice and gentle.”

Alexia hands move up to your hair, carding through your locks and rubbing at your scalp.

The initial feeling isn’t nice, and when Lucy nudges your clit you recoil completely, Alexia being the only thing keeping you remotely in place.

“Such a good girl, so perfect, you’re so good bebita, let me hear it one more time.”

You struggle to find your voice, stuck in the back of your throat from your less than appropriate responses from the last few minutes.

“I-I’m a good girl.”

Alexia smiles, the same smile when she won the world cup or the champions league, victory.

“Yes you are, our good girl, just ours.”

You relax as Lucy finishes up, allowing Alexia to manhandle you into her lap and relaxing against her skin. She’s warm and comforting and everything you need to feel at peace. Your bones and muscles hurt, your thighs are sore and you doubt your ability to be able to walk like a normal human in the morning but it’s all overwhelmed by how good it feels to simply be surrounded by the people who know how to make you feel the best.

[horsedylan]

Sue K- Background, Misconceptions and The Defense of.

Strap in folks, this will be a very long one. (i spent awhile on it lol, im tired)

Back in 2016 the consensus within the community towards Sue was positive. She was respected, and she gave people a gleam into what in sam hell was going on with her son, with her, etc. Then something happened. One, the great purge where a bunch of OG accounts got deleted and the shitposters (people like me :D) took over (literal defamation by shitpost), and a little while later a horrible video from the youtuber timmy2cents got published and went viral. It appeared well researched and produced but it was anything but. A good amount of hate for Sue came from this video, and I do believe played 100% a part of the narrative souring towards her.

I dislike timmy2cents with a fruity passion (he’s worth far less than that) . The absolute permanent damage he has done to the discussion surrounding a kind, and gentle grieving mother is deplorable.

He has somehow almost outdone Dave Cullen as far as mischaracterization goes, and subsequent damage.. And has had the same childish response to boot.

Before you read the rest of this: if you were one of the millions of poor unfortunate souls that consumed this timmy2cents video and take issue with Sue’s TedTalk. There are TWO must watch videos I encourage you to consume. You have been fed LIES. (That and it’s actually quite interesting to look at how tricky well produced propaganda can be to spot.)

This entire thing has been sparked by so much outsider discourse where people parrot information directly from that timmy2cents video resulting in such insightful comments that insinuate she takes no accountability for what happened, and that she should “rot in hell” that she’s an “evil bitch”, that she used her son’s death for profit, that she excuses what he did (she doesn’t), that she’s a narcissist (be wary of anyone thats insistent on the narcissist label btw) etc. Repeating the same arguments from the timmy2cents video. He made the argument that this incredibly, permanently traumatized VICTIM of Columbine was a narcissist, and has now convinced millions of people of the same conclusion based on flimsy evidence. Also im not even going to address Todd Grande’s video on her regardless of his opinions whether they match mine (doubtful) or if he stays in his character. He’s not a good resource for psychology and he’s a known misogynist. If you watch him I encourage you to unsubscribe. He is way out of depth.

So anyway I wanted to make a post regarding Miss Sue and common misconceptions regarding her, or defences for problems people typically have with her.

Also feel free to copy and paste or otherwise steal and save any sort of info/argument post i have and repost it as your own (or link it to someone to shut them up.) I honestly don’t even care (especially if I get nuked) Fuck, any of my shit really. Take it, idc.

A Brief Background of Sue Klebold.

This information for Sue's background comes from Jeff Kass' book. I am not the biggest fan of the guy, his information is very good but in my books he is far too aggressive, rude (why'd you do Robyn dirty Jeff), and accusatory for my taste, so we shall semi respectfully/disrespectfully take this information and leave.

(Dylan's grandpa and grandma)

Leo Yassenoff, her grandfather (though not related by blood) was an activist for jewish rights/causes, and was an athlete. There is a Jewish Community Centre in Ohio named after him. Her father Milton Rice Yassenoff and his adopted brother Abner were adopted from The Jewish Infants Home in Columbus. Milton was born in Toledo, Ohio in 1919 and was of Russian descent. Leo passes away in 1971 of renal failure (two months after Tom and Sue marry), at the age of 88, he chooses to donate most of his 13-14 million dollar fortune to charity. Abner kills himself in the 1940's though a death certificate hasn't been located according to Kass.

Milton was an army man and served in World War 2. Once he came back he met his wife and Sue's mother Charlotte Haugh who grew up in small-town Ohio. This description of Sue's mother Charlotte is from Sue's eventual stepbrother Charles Huelsman the Third and is as follows; "Soft, diplomatic, a terribly nice person. Social, charitable, loving, concerned, empathic, real giving person, really tried to raise her kids well.”

Charolette would convert to Judaism, they belonged to the reform Temple Israel but are described as hardly attending. In total of biological children, Charolette and Milton would have three (in respective order); Diane Elizabeth, Susan Frances, and Philip Leo. Sue was 18 years old at the time of her father's passing of uremia. This sudden passing of her father at such a young age would pave for severe anxiety to come. Sue's mom would die of cardiac arrest in 1987 at 65.

Sue herself was born on March 25, 1949 and attended the private Columbus School for Girls from grades 1 through 12. Sue was involved in a number of extracurriculars throughout her time here. She was assistant art editor of the school paper, Silhouette, and art editor the next year. She was also art editor of TOPKNOT, the yearbook. She was involved in Scroll, the literary magazine that included art, stories, and poetry. She was in the art club, I’Pittori, along with the Latin club. She took photos for the school newspaper as well. An old classmate of Sue's mentions she and her sister Diane were quiet. Another described her as a private person.

She graduates from here the same year her father died in 1967. She then enrolled in Knox College but it didn't last, she left in 1969 to go back home to her mother. She sought counselling with pop psychologist (derogatory) Hugh Missildine, to deal with the intense anxiety her father's death had caused her.

Susan Yassenoff, shows up in his 1974 book co-authored with Lawrence Galton, Your Inner Conflict - How to Solve Them. Sue apparently appears under the pseudonym “Sandra,” This wasn't enough to stop the bloodhound Jeff Kass. Despite being under a pseudonym for a reason. He figures out who "Sandra" really is and makes a phone call. “I came across your profile in the Hugh Missildine book.” he says when Sue answers the phone. "What?” she said. “Yeah,” I reply, “in the, it was a few, quite a few years ago, the profile you had as Sandra.” “I think you are way out of base here, I’m going to hang up now,” Susan says.

Her lawyer, criminal defense attorney Gary Lozow, quickly called an intermediary. Lozow called it a matter that occurred when Susan Klebold was nineteen, however nothing ever comes of this as Sue seemingly leaves it alone after the fact.

Here is the copy paste of Sue's profile from the book:

Sandra is a twenty-year-old woman who came to see me because of a phobia. “I have a death phobia,” she told me. “It underlines everything I do. I think about death all the time.” She is a music student, about to graduate from college, has been living for the past year with her fiancé and is very much in love with him, as he is with her. He too is in music. When I asked her to talk about herself, she told me: “I’m afraid of failure. I won’t even attempt something unless I’m assured of success. I think too much. I don’t have a temper. “War things and medical programs bother me. I was terrified of bugs as a child. Airplanes used to bother me, too, and storms. My mother used to cuddle me and comfort me when I was fearful. When I was afraid, my sister would call me stupid. I scold myself for being afraid. I often feel that I’m a burden to people. I sometimes get depressed. “I think the fear of death will always be there. I wish I could turn off this part of my mind. I wish there were traumas to explain all this, but I’ve never had any traumas. When I get a headache, I’m always sure it is fatal. Then I worry that I will die, which makes the headache worse. Everything makes me think of death. I have to divert myself in the evening constantly—by eating, watching television, practicing my music or masturbating. I feel constantly that I’m coming a minute closer to death. What a waste of time to think of that all the time. But thinking this is a way of life with me.”

Questioned about her family, Sandra told me that her father had been a sensitive, sweet person who enjoyed doing things for her and whom she adored. He had died suddenly just before she had graduated from high school. Her mother?

“A saint—a real saint,” Sandra said. “She is kind, patient, never critical. When I was at home, my mother always enjoyed doing things for me and giving me things.” Here, then, is a young woman who came from a loving home, who is in love and is loved in return, who is bright, is intelligent, is attractive, has a deep interest in music and yet is an emotional cripple. Why should she suffer so much from, and devote so much of her attention to, an almost overpowering fear of death?

I'll spare you his pop psychology explanation for why she feels this way as anyone with half a brain can figure out why she is so terrified of death given the traumatic event she experienced a few years prior. I'll leave the important bits in though.

Sandra decided to do what her fiancé had long urged: get married. She became so busy with the wedding plans that, she told me in some surprise, she was thinking less and less about her fears. She still tends to slip back occasionally into old, indulgent, self-critical ways and to become a little fearful, but she can quickly abort the relapses.

Sue and Tom marry in 1971 on July 1st by a Rabbi. She graduates in 1972 with a masters in art education and a minor in psychology. They move to Milwaukee and she gets a job in the Milwaukee Psychiatric Hospital as an art therapy intern for adults. She then became a psychiatric art therapist at St. Michael Hospital. In 1975, she enrolls in Milwaukee’s Cardinal Stritch College for a master’s degree in reading. She works while in grad school, often in elementary schools. Her jobs included special education teacher’s aide and reading specialist. For about a year, she worked on a government program to help disadvantaged youths at the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee. (Kass, pg. 40-49)

Misconceptions about/Defense of Sue Klebold (Warning, An Incredibly Compassionate Defense Ahead.)

This section is going to act as a sort of heavily opinionated FAQ. I don't know if it's the best way to do things but I think if anything it makes it more simple?

All of the following screenshots are from a mother's reckoning.

"She profited off D's death" Nope, wrong. She didn't, every single cent from her book was donated to suicide prevention charities. She didn't make money off of the Ted Talk either. And fuck it even if she did I wouldn't care. Her bonehead son made a fucking mess for her, she might as well get something from it other than trauma and heartbreak. But she didn't. So. (https://www.rmpbs.org/blogs/news/how-much-has-the-book-by-the-mother-of-a-columbine-killer-raised-for-charity)

"She bought him the trench coat" Okay Diane Sawyer, relax with your puritan ways. it was a coat not a glock. Next you'll criticize her for letting him play video games.

"D asked her for a gun for Christmas." She thought he was joking. According to Devon Adams, he had a dark sense of humour, and according to Sue he had a habit of asking her for ludicrous things when Christmas came around. She thought it was just another one of those things. She asked him why and he said target practice. It is not unreasonable. That family was known for being anti gun, their neighbours had them in the house and Sue refused to have them (despite the fact that it was deemed culturally acceptable to do so), so I'd probably interpret it as a ludicrous request from my son to get a rise out of me. Is it weird? Sure if you want to reach fine.

Also…Boys like guns? Like go into your local toy store, look at what you find. Those guns with the red parts that crack? Water guns? Nerf guns? Plenty of boys seriously ask for guns for Christmas too and get air soft instead even now in the current year, it was probably even more normalized in the 90's where they were fucking making pipe bombs on the regular. Seriously, I swear half of that school was cooking up pipe bombs its actually insane.

I'm just gonna point this out but plenty of boys under 18 (specifically 12-17) in Canada ask their parents to let them get their FAL because its not exactly the most shocking thing for them to be firearm trained.

"Why didn't Sue make D do therapy" Because what she thought she knew about D at the time was that he was a self sufficient guy who was striving to be independent as he approached adulthood, she trusted him, and D took advantage. The...mediator? That was in the room with them asked him how he felt about therapy, and he blatantly fucking lied and said "I'll prove to you I'm fine." Sue respected his input. A lot of you may make the complaint of "Oh well she should have made him do it" and while I do understand the sentiment I'm going to put it out there, being forced into therapy often makes it worse. We see that a lot in this community too.

Also E's family got him a therapist and guess what? It didn't do a damn thing to stop what happened. (I personally think the reaction to the van incident was a bit overblown in of itself. Teenage boys do dumb stuff constantly it doesn't mean they need therapy. Like, back in the day I broke into a church and completely fucking trashed the place with friends. I was so embarrassed and remain so even now, and yet I didn't need therapy nor did I go on to hurt people after being caught.)

A bit of a side note with E's therapy, You can have the best therapist in the world, if you aren't interested in the goal of getting better or in Dylan's case you are so prideful to reject all help (while simultaneously complaining about no one helping you i'll add) therapy won't do a damn thing. Neither will medication. Both therapy and Luvox are safe and beneficial (there are some detractors which is fine but this ain't about them) for individuals with a vested interest in self improvement, but Eric was disinterested in having a future being alive and was more preoccupied with his infamy. He liked the aesthetic of violence and the illusion of power being "crazy" gave him (like when he lied about being schizophrenic in his AOL bio) so he abused his medication to further that end instead of taking it how it was advised with the end goal of getting better. If anything I think Eric was honestly more likely to respond to a good and proper therapist before he became more interested in infamy and death than life, more so than Dylan, not because he was less prideful (he most certainly wasn't) but because he was far more external with his emotions than Dylan (Until Dylan blew his top that is). That's pretty helpful in a therapeutic environment.

So to say it wouldn't have helped if she did get D into therapy. I obviously can only give my opinion but if Eric didn't respond, I doubt someone so sensitive to embarrassment and internal like Dylan would fair any better. But again, this is just my own opinion. I think what D needed was another Zack Heckler. Not a therapist, but a friend who was emotionally intelligent. He found his emotional outlet in Eric once Zack became preoccupied with Devon, and both of them stoked each others rage and marinated in it together as some sort of bonding and coping ritual. I think Zack was the one keeping it in check.

Zack heckler had issues similar to Dylan. According to Sarah Slater he and Dylan would cry about these things on the phone together. Devon came into the picture and I think changed Zack for the better, I believe this convinced Dylan that his antidote for his depression was a soulmate. In a way he isn't wrong. Perhaps I'm an optimist but I do think having physical contact from a girl that loved him (not necessarily anything sexual) would have helped him immensely (eric too, no matter how much emphasis he put on just sex). Sue mentioned he was a sensitive, physically affectionate child after all. I don't think this fact ever changed.

"She blames E for the entire thing and makes D into the innocent victim" This one is a lot more complex but the short of it is ehhh..Maybe? No? Yes? Maybe? Sometimes? No. Yes..? The long of it is;

She was always going to be somewhat biased. This book is about her son after all. She knew her son. Carried him, loved him, etc. Her understanding of her son's culpability has been a journey through shit lake with no boat to speak of. A journey that she had to endure while she was heavily traumatized bear in mind. That is what A Mother's Reckoning is all about. She has come a long way in her understanding in 1999 to 2016 when the book was released.

She does not play pretend with Dylan’s involvement but rather has a more biased empathetic/sympathetic view of her own flesh and blood and his potential motives, nor does she excuse him for what he has done (no matter what your average redditor thinks of her and her tedtalk) but rather wishes to understand HOW he got to the place he did. I think it is closer to say she flipflops, she is lost, she doesn’t have an inkling as to what Eric’s motives were, the extent of any sort of pain he carried, his family life, and that she heavily mischaracterizes who he was as person and his motives, due to meddling "professionals" while accepting her son as a willing participant.

When it first happened she was in a state of traumatized denial. She was clinging to every bit of hope that her son wasn't some bloodthirsty killer. She describes the time she heard of these like…military mind control tapes that EH's parents had in their house, and in the throes of grief entertained that perhaps D was brainwashed by these tapes by EH.

On top of that, Judy Brown showed her E's website AFTER the shooting. AFTER, not before, AFTER. ( a lot of people shit on her saying she knew about it and did nothing but again, not true). This was also before she saw the BT's and also before D's journal got released to her in 2006 (I think it was 2006?) Then she saw the basement tapes and could no longer deny Dylan's culpability/cruelty in the act.

But what did she have to go off of at the time? The website, the time that Eric verbally abused Dylan for being bad at soccer, and Dylan just standing there and taking it.

Sue knew Eric + his parents sure, and had him around a few times, but did not know him very well. His parents did not come forward to humanize him to the public so she was just about in the dark as everyone else.

Then something else happened to add to the character assasination of Eric. In 2009 a book was published by "author" Dave Cullen called Columbine. He touted this book as the ultimate authority on Columbine, himself as an expert on the event that spent years researching it. So many places schools and universities alike use his book as gospel for studying the event. It characterized Eric as a womanizing psychopath who was intrinsically evil (paraphrasing). It hyper-fixates and waters Dylan down to a lost puppy wrapped up in Eric's scheme and charisma. Cullen was not the only person to characterize him as a psychopath either, so so many "professionals" and "experts" from psychologists to FBI agents, wanted their moment in the spotlight and came forward to say the same thing. When Sue went looking for answers and consultation for her book, she went to the experts and professionals, because that is simply what you do. This is some of what these "professionals" advised Sue about Eric and Dylan, not Sue, but the professionals;

(The above quote is from Andrew fucking Solomon, I do not assign him as much malice in his focus but he certainly had such an influence on Sue so much so that he spent time in their house.)

The biggest issue with Sue Klebold ultimately isn't Sue Klebold. Dave Cullen and the others mentioned before took advantage of and capitalized on a incredibly traumatized and grieving mother who wanted answers as to why her little boy who she dearly loved did what he did, Dave Cullen put himself in the front of the dialogue to further his name, authority and narrative. We don't know what he told her, but its almost a for sure thing that he advised her on all the "research" he did on Eric's person as it almost perfectly matches up to what is presented. There was no one else to accurately advise her on this matter. She could have turned to Kass for a basic idea (sort of), but again, but he was also limited due to the lack of parental interviews (apart from the one he got from Eric's dad where he followed him into a bathroom.), and he hadn't exactly been non aggressive with Sue. No, he burned that bridge. She wanted nothing to do with him and I do not blame her.

(fuck you Dave)

She did not come up with what she said earlier on her own to throw Eric under the bus.. If you have that many professionals telling you time and time again that he was a psychopath, you are going to take absorb it. If she ignored what the professionals told her at the time, she would once again be deemed a narcissist;

"Oh, you think you know better than handfuls of psychologists and experts? Wow Sue you're so narcissistic thinking you're smarter than everyone else." Yeah. Like Anne Marie Hocchalter's father states, she was in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, and the people who never went through what they did like to criticize her and pretend they are superior when they aren't. (https://zhawkeitsbeensaid.blogspot.com/2016/02/sue-klebold-what-were-you-thinking.html)

I even feel bad for the Harrises here as well because these same glory seeking professionals that convinced Sue Eric was the ringleading psychopath (sort of?ish?), also convinced them that the son they loved (and yes I'm sure despite Wayne's problems he still loved Eric) that their son was some psychopath who didn't share in that love. I think that is honestly fucking evil. Like as far as Dave Cullen goes, he didn't just write a book with fake information and a false narrative and advertised it as truth to the public, he also provided fake advice and information to a grieving mother and misrepresented it as truth. The absolute audacity man.

I think people forget that the families of school shooters have been severely traumatized, while they demand answers with a shocking amount of entitlement, resentment and hostility. And unlike the families of the shooters direct victims, they do not have the same supports they can rely on. and they are constantly being attacked by residents of the community, the media, etc. It takes years for them to heal to, on top of coming to an understanding of the why. People can get mad about Wayne not getting E from the lawyer after his cremation (and I do understand why they'd be pissed) but he was angry. *His boy killed people*, lied to him and his wife. But trauma guides our responses to things, it may not make sense for us who are privileged enough to not be in their position but its good practice to understand this simple fact.

(^These psychologists should follow the things they say more closely. The one thing I can agree with them on.)

If anything, I'd say if you take into account some of her interviews as well as her book it seems she, in her own mind, goes back and forth from neutral to biased. Its interesting but you can see a glimpse of her uncertainty regarding Eric here where she makes note of BOTH of their suicidality, though to what extent Eric was depressed and the coping mechanisms he had she doesn’t know to the fullest extent because again, she cannot humanize or understand Eric. (Also in some long since lost interviews I can no longer find she mentions how she cannot presume to know what exactly was wrong with him. I wish I could find them but its been awhile.)

She cannot champion Eric. She is not his mother nor his father. I’m sorry but if you’re the type to hate Sue for this (or any of the people involved here like Devon) you need to have a reality check. Ah yes. Endless compassion for the two boys that needlessly stole the lives of their classmates but absolutely fucking none for the innocents traumatized permanently for their deeds. 90% of the time its people partial to their romanticized version of Eric doing it too, and its just annoying lol (not people who like Eric, there is a difference.)

"She didn't separate E and D" She did separate them initially, but Kathy H begged her not to do this. And why? Because she didn't want to isolate Eric. That's one of the worst things you can do for someone struggling is take away some form of social support.

Also, how do you separate two kids who go to the same school. Do you yank the one out in the middle of a school year and get them acquainted to a brand new school? Do you understand that that is one of the worst fucking things for child/teen development. That's part of the reason E was so fucked up in the first place.

"She didn't search his room" Yes she did, she stopped really doing it the further he got into senior year and stated that D was what, less than a month from graduating from high school and going to college, you have to let go of the reigns at some point (paraphrasing).

"She kicked Byron out"

No, watch Miorby's video. She didn't.

"She pushed him up against the fridge" So? Oh no a mother parents her son. It is completely normal for a parent to be hurt that her almost adult son forgot mother's day, on top of the van incident and being blatantly disrespectful she wanted to make a point that he was being a brute. She didn't body slam him lol. She put her hand on his stomach and held him there by the shoulder and gave him a lecture because he wasn't pulling his weight.

Despite me defending her here, she regrets not asking him what was up and wishes she knew what was up. But genuinely ask yourself, Dylan, who oh so loved lying to people, would he tell her the truth? She asked him multiple times before if he was okay and he LIED to her every fucking time.

"She downplayed Dylan's role in the van incident with her answers in that one form when describing what Dylan did to get arrested" No she didn't. I'm not gonna even explain this one to you, that claim is pure body/handwriting expert pseudoscience reaching. Watch Miorby's video's linked above if you care about this genuinely I'm not interested in "debating" you.

"How did she not know, the signs were there" Because she didn't. What warning signs do you speak of? D took painstaking effort to go out of his way to hide things from her and lie. There were no warning signs at the time because in order for something to be a warning sign, it has to be an acknowledged recognized sign to begin with, this wasn't such a thing in the 90's, I think its not a stretch to say a lot of the dialogue regarding mental health was coasting off the remains of the satanic panic. A lot of you are using the information of today to address an event that happened 26 years ago. Mental health care was not mainstream, it was not something parents addressed on the regular, if anything EH parents were closer to the norm than DK's. People cannot know what they don't. People will not know things that there is very little information on, if any at all.

Mental health and mental health care was barely existent, especially for men. Nope. No forget about it. Know the "my dad's gonna send me of to military school" gag? Or the old "Stop crying or i'll give you something to cry about" That was their therapy. I would really love to know how the conversation between E's parents and him went, regarding a therapist for E, I doubt Wayne handled it well.

This is ultimately why a society that makes this information incredibly accessible and integral to parenting is NECESSARY. Not fucking shoving it into the back of a closet and pretending it doesn't exist or making it some moral issue. And this is exactly what Sue is trying to do with the work she has done. People cannot know what they don't know, what has been shoved into a closet by a puritan Christian place like America/Littleton. That's the whole point of awareness campaigns. If you're still not convinced, go read what Anne Marie's father has to say about "warning signs".

You are placing an expectation of perfection onto a extremely traumatized human being. I am not saying she did not make errors, but you cannot live without making errors, and you cannot recognize them as mistakes as they are happening because that would be having hindsight 20/20 vision., It is literally impossible. She didn't hand him a gun, she tried to raise him with empathy. She was a better mother than my own.

"But she educated in Mental Health!" Sue Klebold was (sorry) barely a mental health professional. She was a therapeutic art teacher. Kass says art therapist but its more or less the same.. I'm not trying to be rude here, but that is basically meaningless when we are talking about being capable of recognizing warning signs. Like, I have actual background in psych as an industry, I've been getting education in it since I was in grade 10. (I took all my necessary psych courses but didn't want to waste money on a fucking French requirement) What I can tell you is that both her status as a therapeutic art teacher and her minor in psych is worthless as far as identifying warning signs in the 90's go. They are not responsible for diagnostics.

"She doesn't address gun control" You know this is actually really interesting. There were a few instances of mentioning gun control, one was a video interview breakfast conference with Sue back in 2018ish, a sort of blink and you'll miss. She mentioned that she does have an issue with how accessible guns were and are, but was terrified of the NRA. I do not blame her here and I think it speaks volumes of how terrifying those people are and the fucking blood on their hands (I'm not here to debate with gun nuts, i'm not anti gun so save it.)

"She says brain health" Omg…I get the joke but if you're serious. who the fuck cares? She's an old lady who grew up in a time where mental illness was seen as a severe negative moral failing and she doesn't want to inadvertently make it harder for people to seek out mental health treatment for fear of being seen as a crazy "mental case". This difficulty is what killed her son. Do I agree with her choice of terminology? No in fact I think its counterproductive (sorta).

BUT honestly, ya'll who say this seriously, sound like this lol

"She ignored Dylan when she heard him crying" No she didn't. this is a conflation of two events. I posted about this before, go look.

"How did she not notice his weight loss" She did, and she responded by offering him extra food between meals.

Dylan was a really tall guy, when you are a very tall teenage guy, you often look borderline anorexic no matter the amount you eat, and I recognize he lost weight but if I was bearing witness to it in real life I doubt i'd notice. I don't think it was as severe as people say too. They cite D's driver's license but that was certainly a guess on his part, he didn't weigh that much in 1997-98.

Your metabolism is fast, and you've got a lot of body that inherently makes you lose weight quick. Brooks Brown looked just as scrawny back then. Also eating disorders (I doubt he had one but regardless) were barely recognized for women back then, if anything it was encouraged (tuberculosis chic anyone lol) But for men? Forget it. It wasn't a thing. It's barely recognized as a problem now. If something isn't a thing or seen as a problem then chances are, you, a non researcher, won't know about it.

"But Randy Brown dislikes Sue's book and calls her book full of lies." Randy Brown dislikes Sues book and calls it a book of lies for a variety of reasons; none of them good. One is because Sue believes Dylan killed himself. Randy hates Eric Harris with a fruity passion and he thinks he murdered Dylan. He doesn't think there was mental illness present in either of them (obviously he's wrong lol). So does his creepy son Brooks Brown for that matter. Randy Brown as far as I'm concerned is a narcissist just like his son (Yes, I just told you to be wary of anyone who uses this label but know I do no use it because of sexism, but rather a long documented history involving himself in something that ultimately has nothing to do with him, if you want to criticize me for it fine.), who has placed himself in front of someone who was directly involved in this case and started speaking over her as an authority figure. He acts like he's some sort of expert on Dylan but no. Anytime you ask him for this secret bit of evidence he says he has, he refuses to provide it. He isn't an expert on Dylan.

(I understand these are 4 years old but he doesn't change his mind often)

Also Sue seems to have not regarded the relationship between Judy and herself as close as the Brown's like to portray. I think this reddit user summed it up better than I could

If Sue believed Randy's hypothesis about Eric people would still call her a narcissist too. Same thing with whole focusing on bullying as a cause that Randy has. She really is backed into a corner.

"She doesn't want the BT's to be released" This is another reason why Randy dislikes her. Let's do a little thought exercise shall we. When D did what he did the entire world pointed the finger at Sue. Half of the BT's were just the two boneheads thinking of every slur and going off, drooling on themselves and encouraging others to do the same.

Most professionals agree that it would inspire more shootings. Even in Canada we have a BSU (behavioral science unit) who advises against the release of this sort of material and had this happen similarly in 2019. Whether or not I agree or you do is irrelevant here (not that it matters, JeffCo releasing the cafeteria footage made this entire thing pointless anyway) If you are in her shoes, and the entire world blames you for the shooting, and professionals are telling you the release of these tapes would inspire others to take more lives in the name of your son, would you want them released? Probably not.

"She kept her hair appointment" So? Her son just went out and killed others and then himself. Would you want to be sitting at the breakfast table alone, looking at the place your son used to sit and its fucking empty? She was having panic attacks and was terrified of being alone. One of the worst things you can do when you've been traumatized like that is being alone, the presence of others is helpful. If you can't understand that…like…I can't help you here.

She was preoccupied with the junior photo thing Yeah I don't really have a defence for this but can only empathize and call others to do the same. I think she was an anxiety perfectionist. Given the outlined anxiety we went over above I don't think this is as surprising. She regrets it everyday. Again, this didn't drive D into doing what he did.

"What About the Laptop Stealing?" You know I'm not convinced Tom told her that happened. I have always gotten the impression that Tom gave Dylan this sense of accountability avoidance, imo the guy kind of comes off with an air of ego (I wonder if that's why D showed some distancing from his dad). Even when D got involved in that locker incident, he sends D out so he can deal with this for him? Weird. Also even if she did I think it is unreasonable for you to expect her to bring up every happening of D's life. A bit of kleptomania doesn't mean they're gonna kill someone.

"She didn't notice him SH" Dylan was such an interesting critter that he chose his hands to do it on. We don't know how often he did it but regardless of frequency I doubt anyone would notice. It's one of those "its so stupid its smart" deals. They had cats and bird, My brain would automatically assume it was cat scratches or a bird bite.

"She sometimes calls it Eric's plan"

We don't know who came up with it first, some mistakenly believe it was 100% Dylan as he started journalling first before Eric. But we don't know, it was probably at the same time, Either way. Silly yes, but 100% due to again the advisement of malicious professionals.

“She only does it for image” nah. The world pointed the finger and blamed her. It asked how this happened. She answered to the best of her ability and found healing in her work.

She wasn’t a public figure she could have stayed in the dark, private like the Harrises but she didn’t. Her image is constantly being called a narcissist every 5 seconds despite being a wonderful person. She’s in a unique position and decided to become a force for good.

“Oh well who cares we’re tcc so we can be immoral its stupid to care about morality so ill shit on victims if i want” A lot of people in this community are genuinely wonderful people. You aren’t inherently immoral for being here. If you want to use your presence here as a crutch and an excuse for you to continue to be a shitty fucking person that's your business. Your insistence of a lack of morality is still an insistence of a certain kind of morality, you just don’t like the one where you get judged as an a hole. Get over yourself.

"She said to that one person she has nothing to apologize for after they said i forgive you" as far as the shooting goes, she doesn't. Her son is not her.

"Why do so many people call the mothers of perpetrators narcissists?" Watch this from 1:29:00-1:60:00 ish. It also has some interesting bits about Ed Gein and the problem with the normie true crime types (not us).

Conclusion 1/Normie Public Reaction/TedTalk (sort of)

They complain that she makes Dylan sympathetic. What is the alternative? They demonize him into a monster that is so beyond human that people can continue writing off the human warning signs that make up a mass shooter? We complain so often here that people demonize far too often. And I agree so I’m grateful that she has spent so much time trying to counteract the “Demon” narrative (even with Eric, she speaks in a pathological manner, rather than some monster sense.)

Dylan was person who was clearly dearly loved, he lived his short life as a very sensitive suicidal person who turned apathetic and homicidal. If he doesn’t care about his own life its not exactly shocking he doesn’t care about hurting strangers (I do genuinely think they mentally blocked out any image of hurting their friends and tried not to dwell on it.)

I think its well within her right to emphasize that he was a person. He was a person that was loved, that loved others.

The world pointed the finger at the parents, and criticized them further and implied their guilt when they were met with silence by them. The biggest question people had was “How did YOU not know”.

So she responded on how, on what she missed so parents don’t make the same mistake. She emphasizes she was not abusive nor was her husband. She has every right to do this as everyone accused her of being abusive. She has every right to defend herself.

Sue Klebold is every high horse “i’m better than you” parent or person’s worst nightmare. She tells you that your perfect teenagers can be depressed, she tells you of the normalized signs of teenage depression that drove her son to kill others and then himself.

She tells you of his human traits; how loving he was as a little boy, peering into her eyes to see if she was healing after a nasty eye infection and crafting her an imperfect Get Well i love you Pegasus as a present to make her feel well, how smart he was counting pinto beans on the floor at 3.

She shows you that it is a human being that commits these acts, not some inhuman demon that is the offspring of a demon. The insistence of anything other then that is copeium. It is a self soothing tactic of “this can’t happen to me, i’m such a great parent”

And she shows her profound love for him, even now. Emphasizing his humanity in a sea of people saying he was a soulless deranged monster.

Despite what he did she collected him like a precious treasure, accompanying him to his cremation despite clearly not wanting him to be cremated (fuck people who desecrate graves by the way) making sure he got a funeral, then spending the rest of her life trying to understand why he did what he did. Throwing herself into a callous, vicious public eye to try to make it up to her son despite him being dead for over a decade when she first came out publicly.

She isn’t a narcissist, she isn’t evil. She isn’t a b*tch. She is a lovely human being who has been through severe trauma. She loved Dylan. Dylan loved her. I know she doubts that. But he clearly did, even when he was about to “leave” he tried to offer her a comfort in the last tape (no matter how churlish it was) telling her he was going to a better place.

I find it unfortunate that Eric's parents couldn't do the same for him so all we have about him are what the careless professionals have to say about him.

Conclusion 2

If anything, this is a lesson in why society must be aware of psychological problems and the variety of ways they manifest and who they can manifest in. A society that makes this information incredibly accessible and integral to parenting is NECESSARY. Not fucking shoving it into the back of a closet and pretending it doesn't exist or making it some moral issue. It is also a lesson in the danger of a culture that is based on domination and hierarchy instead of one that embraces empathy and compassion, both in the extended real world but also in an academic setting (a school culture that treats its athletes with reverence for instance). Bullying had its place in cause but I don't think it's the #1 factor, not by a long shot. I guarantee Isiah Shoels had it worse than those two. Kyle Velasquez too. A bunch of others who had it worse. They didn't do anything to hurt anyone, they didn't plan a shooting. Neither did the 2000 others in that school. Sure they thought of it from time to time, but at the end of the day they didn't, and E+D did. I believe there is something that exists as a fragile foundation that primes certain people for violence. And if you add bullying onto it and ease of access to firearms and normalizing the making of bombs and a friendship with this sort of mutuality, it knocks everything over like a deck of cards. D+E had severe pride issues, and entitlement issues by the end of their lives (as an example, Harris blaming the shooting on the women who turned him down, as if he was entitled to them?), I think most of it stemming from their young age they had an inherent ego centrism to both of them that they probably would have grown out of had they lived to see 25. Like part of the reason D and E were so mad is not just because they were bullied, its because they were at the bottom of the hierarchy which is why they went after freshmen once they aged out of that demographic D even says he wanted what the jocks have (while saying he doesn't lol). E too though indirectly. Both boys prioritized an aesthetic of violence and revenge. I do think this is part of the reason why boys/men are more prone into doing this sort of thing, and being external and blamey about their problems too (not that women are incapable of violence, but the rates of Men vs women aren't even close and they are far more external.). Violence is apart of their socialization blueprint/archetype which is why so many of them are obsessed with media displays of violence that is rewarded with power. Bullying demasculinizes them. Damaged masculinity "redeems" itself through violence. It is the ultimate "Now you see me". D+E went from bottom of the barrel to…I don't want to call them icons. But they certainly solidified themselves into history as we're still talking about them 26 years later.

Anyway, I don't know, I guess I just get a kick out of people who have endless amounts of compassion for two murderers, but absolutely none for the family that loved them very dearly. If you're one of the people gleefully slobbering over yourself about how much you hate Sue and how you can't wait until she dies (yes, I have seen this way too many times here) that's fine, have your weird tantrum. You are just another one of those people that hates on victims, and you're certainly not morally justified.

It feels hippy dippy to say, but I find myself wanting their to be some sort of kind merciful god out there that grants all of us inner peace and reunification, so so badly. I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, but I pray Sue's passing is a gentle one, and I hope she gets to see Dylan again, I really do. For both of their sake.

[butlervibesonly]

Hi love! I hope you’re doing well. Can I request a headcannon with Austin x reader about their love languages? Maybe they both enjoy physical touch and words of affirmation, but the reader also enjoys quality time? Basically a bunch of fluff lol.

I love your work, it’s amazing!! Thank you sm 😊

𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠 | Austin Butler headcannon

•Pairing: Austin Butler x female reader

• Warnings: bunch of fluff

• Note: Hi dear! Thank you so much! I love this idea and goshhhhh how I wish I could experience those! Enjoy! 🤍

• Both yours and Austin’s love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. And yours is also quality time. And these three combined? Heaven.

• When the two of you started dating, you loved the fact you both share the same love language, and Austin couldn’t help but notice how much you love quality time together and he did and does whatever it takes to achieve that.

• You both LOVE watching movies. And while watching movies together, what could be better than cuddling during it? Either you or him would hold each other in arms, rub soothing circles to one another’s back, occasionally stealing some kisses.

• Austin’s significant gesture is definitely holding hands in public. He has to feel your touch whether it’s just walking through the park or shopping together. He feels protectiveness over you and needs to know that you’re his. 🤭 He would also hold your hand at any public event such as awards. Austin would never let go of your hand.

• What he also loves to do are massages and back rubs. When at home, he would sit behind you and give you the best massage you could ever wish for. And when at public (also at home) he would rub your back and so would you.

• Austin would do any kind of playful touches. He can start tickling you in the middle of cuddling or playfully ruffling your hair (which he would then brush to normal form, because he knows how much work you have with your hair 🤭).

• The thing you both definitely do is sleeping tangled up. Neither him nor you would fall asleep without at least some physical contact. He would spoon you, hold you, let you sleep on his chest, … And so would you, cuddle him, cling onto him just to feel his presence.

• The cute gesture between you would be definitely small kisses from time to time. He would press small kisses on your forehead, on the top of your head, on your hand, cheek. Anywhere. And you would just pepper his face with kisses until he is giggling and laughing!

• When it comes to words of affirmation, you two would definitely text each other during the day when you are not together. It would be texts like “How was your day?” or “I love you!❤️" or “I can’t wait to come home and see you!”

• Austin would remind you how beautiful you are any time. In the morning, during the night, before you go to sleep. He would whisper how beautiful goddess you are at the awards while wearing absolutely gorgeous dress. And you would also tell him how handsome he is to you!

• Daily “I love yous”. Cmon, what day would it be if either of you didn’t tell each other I love you. Austin would just randomly go and say “I love you” or he could just stare at you and say “I love you” while doing the most random thing like cooking.

• Verbal appreciation would be also really important for you. Reminders how much you mean to each other, how much you appreciate each other… I can imagine him saying “You make my life so much better,” or “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 🥹

• We all know Austin love letters. That would be his thing. He would write you those little letters and give it to your birthday, anniversary or Valentines. Or just when whenever he wants and feels like so. (He would definitely end each letter with “Your Austin” 😭🫶🏼)

• Thing you would do the most is complimenting each other’s personality. Completing looks is beautiful, but character? “I love how kind you are.” or even “I adore how caring you are.”

• Lovely nicknames!! He would call you love, darling, sweetheart, baby, dear, and you would call him honey, love, babe, and my sweet boy which he doesn’t admit but love so much!

• You two would definitely go on walks together. Either to city or nature, park or garden… Just anywhere where you can be together!

• Cooking or baking together! You guys would cook dinner, or he would help you with baking. Just imagine that: flour everywhere but in the dough, but laughing and eating together would be worth it.

• When Austin would find some free time in bus busy acting schedule you guys would use the time to do various of activities. Weekend getaways, playing board games together, paint together, do pottery, watching movies. Anything.

• READING TOGETHER. You two would be splayed on the bed or couch, he would lay his head in your lap or conversely, and you would read together, and quote some cheesy lines. “Romeo, oh Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

• You guys would try new hobbies together! Who doesn’t want to try new sports or maybe doing origami? (He would surely teach you to do the napkin rose!!)

• Coffee shop dates with deep conversations – Just sitting together, sipping drinks, and talking about life. God’s…. Take my money… imagine gossiping with him once things go unserious.

[rizzoreads88]

You know what I love? Azriel didn’t have to go and save Gwyn from the blood Rite because he knew she could take care of herself. He trained her so he knew. He saved Elain because she was weak and defenseless and a damsel and sat in a tent and waited for someone to save her. And guess what Gwyn did in the Blood rite? Actually made an effort and helped and even stayed up in the tree. That was her SPYING!!!!!!! Who’s to say Azriel didn’t give her any tips during the time he went over dagger handling? Gave her tips on how to spy? It’s great foreshadowing from S.J.M!!

And I cant wait for Azriel to gift Gwyn a dagger so she can name it Silver Majesty. S.J.M gave us that for a reason. At least she’ll accep it. Unlike Elain who gave back TruthTelller. Gwyn sees Azriel’s love for daggers and it is seen in the bonus. “A comfort for every growing child.” I can’t wait for them to have a child (this was foreshadowed with the above line) and they can have bad ass warrior parents.

The next book is taking forever because S.J.M got bored writing Elain’s book so she has changed it to Gwynriel. I can’t wait for their endgame and for the rest of the Elriels to finally leave our space. Gwynriels have been here longer. It’s time for others to go now who can’t accept Gwynriel is endgame.

I don’t like people pinning Gwyn and Elain against each other but since you wanted to come in my anons doing so let’s go through all your points from canon. Both Gwyn and Elain are great characters and are strong in different ways. But now that I’ve read your fanon theories let me respond with some canon.

whether Azriel believes in Gwyns abilities or not that man cared more about his enemy Eris than when she was drugged and kidnapped by multiple men…. Is that how mates act? not according to Ruhn!

Ruhn glared at her as Hunt continued to glow and menace. It means that he’s going ballistic in the way that only mates can when the other is threatened. It’s what happened then, and what’s happening now.

Azriel may not have been able to go to the blood rite but that wouldn’t have stopped him from showing emotion around his friends if he actually cared anough to. In acowar we see azriel is full of rage and is the first to notice Elain was taken. So he will show emotion like that over Elain but not his supposed mate? lol …...it’s funny you guys try to talk around azriel not really reacting to gwyn being kidnapped to the blood right by saying “it’s bc he knew she could handle herself!” Yet cassian was there and knew Nesta could handle herself and he was still freaking out. Cassian still showed concern over Emerie and Gwyn too.

“Gwyn was spying”. So I guess everyone in the blood rite are spys now?! It’s funny Emerie and Nesta watched their enemies at times too but no one credits them to being a spy. You guys can try and claim Gwyn is a spy blahhhh but SJM doesn’t compare Gwyn to any spy tactics at all in the books. But ya know who she does? Elain. You know who they wonder if azriel is training w spy techniques? Elain lol

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.”

“Elain was again at my side. I hadn’t heard her steps. Hadn’t heard any sound for moments.”

“Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him”

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

You know who’s good at keeping secrets like a spy does… Elain. You know who’s not? Gwyn lol Nesta tells Gwyn how they are looking for the trove and not tell anyone at all and what does Gwyn do? Tells Merrill

“At least gwyn would keep the dagger” In Acowar Azriel never gave Elain his dagger to keep. He lent it to her. For a side that screams Elriels have no reading comprehension I would think you’de understand this by now… the I won’t be using it today line means she can use it FOR THE DAY not keep it. So of course she gives it back after she’s done w it.

“This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.”

The emphasis SJM puts on the truth teller scene is that Azriel has never let anyone else touch it ever and he still lends it to Elain.

Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife.

It’s pretty telling how Azriel has been training Gwyn(and the other ladies) for months w daggers, has even had at least 1 private dagger lesson with Gwyn but hasn’t let her even touch truth teller ….. but sureeeee she’ll get silver majesty or gray bullet or whatever other name yall want to make for truth teller other than it’s actual name in the books.

“Elains weak Gwyn is stronger!!” First of all both ladies are bad ass. Yes Gwyn did some really cool things in the blood rite and helped fight to stay alive alongside Nesta and Emerie, but Elain killed a evil king.Fought Hybern beasts w her bare feet, and this is without any actual training. Elain has badass powers and has put them on to finding Vassa, the suriel during the war, and looking into Koschei. And let’s see what Azriel thinks of Elain.

Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. “The queen—with the feathers of flame.” The shadowsinger angled his head. Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?” “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

When everyone else thought there was something wrong with her and she was going crazy… Azriel was the one who knew she didn’t need anything. Azriel was the one to figure out she was a seer. Azriel was the one who realized they needed her.

I have no idea what your going on about in that last paragraph. I’m going to read whatever SJM writes because it’s not that serious. In fact most elriels say regardless of who ends up together they will continue reading the books. It’s a lot of the gwynr/els who post about how they won’t read a Elriel book blah blah blah. But trying to say Gwynriels have been around longer? You’re funny w that one. Seeing how gwyn is only in 1 book yet elriel has been being foreshadowed since acomaf. There’s been elriels around since then.

[frostedpuffs]

how long did it take you to write the first draft of the minibug fic?

about 3 1/2 months! which i realize is like... a crazy short amount of time to write so many words, and frankly i didn't even know i was capable of that.

HOW it happened isn't much a mystery though. surprisingly, i found that writing the whole fic before posting and losing the pressure of "oh god, people are waiting on the next chapter, I need to write it asap" actually made me want to write MORE often. plus. Well. I was unemployed for nearly the entire 3 1/2 months it took me to write it, so I had a lot of free time that I spent mostly writing LOL. added with the fact that i had a lot of fun writing this, and it being a story I've had lots of ideas for for years... it's no surprise all i wanted to do once I started is keep at it until it was done. I'd wake up in the mornings, make my coffee, and sit at my computer for a few hours writing. take a break, and go back in the evening. writing kinda became my full time job, even though it's just a hobby!! lol

(now that I'm working again my progress has admittedly slowed... it's hard to find the energy sometimes, even though I can bring my personal laptop to work and write. But I often do not have time for that)

a lot of the chapters, in my opinion, are still rough and need some TLC. but then again i am my own worst critic. still kinda a bit amazed by myself that I managed to write 113k words in that span of time though, even if some of it is rough!

the biggest advice I can give to anyone who wants to know how to write quickly: stop getting stuck on whether your story is perfect on the first try. hell, stop getting stuck on whether that sentence is good on the first try. it is infinitely easier to go back and fix what's already written, versus trying to make it sound great on the first try. that's what a first draft is for!

[receivedhope]

i hope this post open enough for the possibility to chime in, because i do love sebastian as well as that he is a huge asshole.

i personally really appreciate about him that at the core of his character is that he just wants to stir shit up for fun and his role in the show was very firmly to cause conflict for klaine (and the new directions later on) and once he achieved that, he also got his comeuppance in the form of dave's attempt. i thought it was a pretty concise arc about basically learning that not all jokes are funny.

however, i don't think he is a master manipulator in any capacity, since he plays with a pretty open hand. he is not even remotely subtle about how he wants to fuck blaine because the warblers hyped him up so much, he could've blackmailed rachel with those finn photos anonymously and he didn't even need to admit anything to santana about the slushie either lol. and while it must be acknowledged that he needed to do these the way he did for story purposes, it's interesting to consider that deceitfulness is just simply not part of his character (and i'd argue it's much more of karofsky's and even blaine's, which is why i'm surprised by the lack of consensus about that, but i digress.)

whether it's because he does not want to be a manipulator or is simply not capable of it is also besides the point, because he is in it for the love of the game. he even says it himself, with "it's all fun and games, until it's not" and "being nice sucks" - i think that's about the extent of his motivations. he has the typical nurtured psycopathy rich people have and i think that's wonderful, but i also buy why dave's suicide attempt affected him enough to want to dial back, since suicide is a high charter on the list of things that are impossible to make light of. and based on this mindset, i also thought it was very fitting that he would be onboard with doping the warblers as well as trying to entice blaine regressing back into his dalton-self again that something we, as the audience, know is a very bad thing for blaine to happen and would force him back into this state of hibernation, threatening almost two seasons of character development. and also have induced hallucinations about dalton!kurt so severe the dsm-5 would've had to include as a case study. puppet master would've happened without the gas leak.

so while i agree that sebastian does have the capacity to be anything in fanfic (for very obvious reasons!) i do think he has a few key characteristics that make sebastian, sebastian, and i end up searching for those when i read meta/headcanons/fics about him.

Look. I admit that I haven't put in endless hours thinking about Sebastian Smythe and his backstory and motivations, so maybe I'm getting something wrong here.

But I was thinking today about all the "Sebastian Smythe would never" meta about the show and commentary about his portrayal in fanfics since he first appeared on the screen.

and the "never" is stuff like "genuinely be concerned about Dave Karofsky's mental health" and "grow into a well functioning adult" and "treat other people with respect" because all of that is HOKEY and involves having FEELINGS and possibly even EMPATHY and that's impossible "because he's a conniving sophisticated irredeemable narcissist who thinks kindness is corny and that's what I love/hate about him."

So IDK why it took 13(?) years for me to have the thought BUT SEBASTIAN SMYTHE IS HOKEY. HE WANTS TO BE THE GOD OF SHOW CHOIR, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

And I think that's why, in fanfic, I will buy endless permutations of Sebastian's personality, motivations, and ultimate raison d'aitre.

Because depending on how you write it, he can be a narcissist who pretends to be capable of caring about others, a caring person who pretends to care only about himself, or a person who is both selfish and caring because, guess what, all of us are complicated.

(tagging @daisyishedwig in gratitude for witnessing me have this revelation)

[mintmentos]

And finally, to round up the recent crafts, we have the six day star blanket (more like the four month star blanket - I have no clue how anyone can get this done in a week). This was such a nice evening craft, once I had the pattern down this was my go to for an activity to do while I watched tv

I love the colours and I’ve been so snug in bed the last couple of days since I finished it and the cats are obsessed with it so all round a winner!!

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

[somegrumpynerd]

-Okay but some of the fears that Color has are in fact the same fears that Nightmare has when it comes to Killer.

Like, Color is worried that Killer's so blindly loyal to Nightmare for whatever reason that he wouldn't even think of complaining if he hated it. And at the start that was something Nightmare probably expected. His henchmen should be loyal and obedient and not ask questions nor complain. But now, after years of learning and bonding and softening up significantly he wonders sometimes if that's still the case.

Nightmare knows Killer well, perhaps better than most, but he's not exactly an open book. Especially when it comes to his own wants or needs. More often than not when he makes a request it's intentionally silly or unreasonable for laughs, like asking if they can take Dust to the nearest pet store and try to trade him in. Very rarely does he want something strong enough to make it known, both to himself and others, like asking to keep the first cat he found.

So.

If he hated this. If he truly struggled and fought and agonised with himself about the position he's in and the work he's doing and the life he leads.

Would he say it? Would he realise that was how he felt? Would he even consider saying no was an option?

If Nightmare asked him to do something he really genuinely did not want to, would he just do it anyway because he doesn't believe he has a choice in the matter?

The only way of finding out (besides making a blatantly difficult request of him, which Nightmare is not willing to do) is to simply wait and trust that Killer will tell him if something is wrong. Which... is not exactly foolproof or easy.

But it's part of why Nightmare hates to be around Color too much, because deep down he's more than a little worried that Color could be right and he doesn't know how to fix it.

[galehowl]

in the darkest night, guiding stars

Some rambling about Tailmon's and Caedemon's complicated relationship in Aurora below~

Tailmon and Caedemon are two of some of the oldest Digimon aligned with both their own and mankind in Aurora, and their relationship goes far back to the very genesis of the Digital World.

As Huanglongmon's creations and members of the Archangels, both of them served them and the four Great Beasts as guardians of their world, alongside the other eight of their kind. For thousands of years, they were the guiding light for all the other Digimon to look up to, until Lucemon's betrayal, and the other six Archangels siding with him. Having discovered what would later become known as the Dark Area - an eldritch, mysterious and volatile dimension existing apart from the Digital and human worlds, yet intertwined with them - he chose to keep it secret, and, in time, his own desires, made worse by the influence of the Area, made him turn against his world and creators. The six others that succumbed to it all the same chose to follow their leader, and nearly laid waste to the Digital World by breaching the dimensional walls and unleashing the Area upon it, but were ultimately stopped by the remaining three Archangels, the world's inhabitants, and Huanglongmon's ultimate sacrifice to seal the Dark Area away, along with the traitors.

Ophanimon perished in those battles, but was reborn in the far future, though without memories of her past.

It was the actions of mankind that called her to action once more, and what awakened Caedemon from his eternal slumber deep within the Dark Area. It was when humans, upon discovering its existence, breached it in an attempt to take control of its powers and Caedemon himself - and sealed the fate of both worlds.

Caedemon, like his brethren, was never meant to be awakened, and Tailmon was mortified upon eventually figuring out the identity of the decaying beast. In her eyes, rightfully, not only was he a traitor, but also even alone a serious danger to both worlds, having become part of the Dark Area itself, but he was also absolutely not fit to be a Tamer's Digimon, especially to a child.

Caedemon initially also did little to soothe her concerns, even with her disdain and suspicions for him obvious, as he exhibited a selfish, troubled and nihilistic personality, caring little for their own kind, and consistently questioning whether or not humanity is even worth saving, with all they've learned about it - a big contrast to her more optimistic outlook on things, a love for all living beings, and a desire to seek out good in everyone, even to the detriment of herself and others.

Though they do eventually mend their once broken friendship, it takes a long time for things to get better, and a lot of change ( namely for Caedemon ) for them to find a way to complement each other in working together - two beings plucked from past long gone - to guide both worlds into a better future.

[d-c-k-y]

Ayase going through it lmaoooooo-

Their dynamic is so real cuz I have a dynamic akin to them and it's pretty nice to see it bsdbjksdkjs- (Okarun is kewl too, I just love Ayase more lol-)

[sorrelpaws]

no offense but i genuinely fear that their potential dynamic will go severely underutilized

[silkjade]

amphoreus feels way more war-like than natlan ever did — the stakes just feel so much higher and i noticed this especially while we were at the grove of epiphany

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

so I’ve been trying to think of the best way to talk about Skuld’s fate for a while now and I think I’ve finally got it. My feelings about how she could be handled are a bit complicated (maybe even controversial? lol) but I hope I can make myself clear. This is essentially gonna be the post I point to whenever and if ever I need it later in the future. Thanks in advance if you read this!

If for whatever reason it’s confirmed that Skuld isn’t Subject χ and she gets together with Ephemer in canon (which I don’t believe will actually happen, but who knows), I do genuinely think there’d be something incredibly poetic about both of them leaving behind a legacy together.

Skuld as Subject χ is a super intriguing concept that I want to see get played out in canon, and even outside of that possibility, I would really love to just see her go on her own journey, have her own story where she can grapple with the events of khux in her own ways. But as someone who also happens to love her and Eph’s dynamic, I like to indulge in the possibility of them founding Scala together too.

Believe me when I say that I’m very skeptical of Skuld getting the credit and spotlight she deserves given the track record of how female characters are treated in this series. It would break my heart if Skuld got turned into an accessory or got shafted or worst case scenario, is used only to kickstart the Ephy lineage and nothing more outside of that. She deserves good, solid writing no matter what her fate is, I’m sure we can all agree on that at least.

And then there’s also the question of whether or not Nomura would ever establish a canon romantic relationship, and if he even should do that in the first place. I think it would be great, as long as it’s written in such a way that it doesn’t impede on the other types of relationships he’s already established. It could delve into some interesting new territory that can highlight the themes of kh, and make them even stronger and more profound. But you don’t absolutely need romance in order for that to be accomplished, ya feel?

Do I love Skuld and Eph together? Yes. Do I think they should be together (romantically) in canon? Not necessarily. You can both enjoy a ship AND recognize the nuances involved.

But anyway anywaaaaay, long disclaimers aside, these two characters have been through so much together…they witnessed two apocalypses. They’ve suffered the loss of a dear friend at their hands, along with their other friends as a result of horrible circumstances they had no control over. They stayed side by side as their home collapsed around and on them. But they also laughed together. They looked out for each other, stood up for each other. Encouraged and comforted and teased each other so they would smile.

From the very beginning, to the very end, they had each other over and over again. Clinging to hope with incredible resilience. From party members, to friends, to leaders. They’re both wonderful characters who I have no doubt would support each other throughout the rest of their lives, just as they always have.

I’ll be fine if a romance between them doesn’t become canon, in fact I’ll probably be pretty relieved. But I can’t deny that the idea of the two of them being entwined forever, bonded by the tragedies they’ve been through, yet also by all of their happy times and shared memories, is a beautiful thought to me.

Surviving to see the other side and building everything from the ground up again together, and seeing the legacy that follows their love, is a story worth telling, in my opinion. In the end, if that’s a story left to us fans to tell, that’s more than enough for me. We have so much to work with. Regardless of what Nomura and/or the rest of the writing team choose to do, I don’t need them to be a canon couple to enjoy the profound love and care they have for each other.

TL;DR - Whatever happens with Skuld, I’m down for the ride. As long as she’s present, period, I’m here for it. Just…please for the love of god, let her be written well. I miss her so much and I need all these years of loving her character to pay off

[slayerdurge]

you know when durge cut off gale's hand in the portal i was like "well obviously he's not really dead now he'll just show up later" but uhh it's been a bit and he still hasn't shown up... lol