#haphephobia representation

[neptune-scythe]

The reason I take issue with people sexualizing Kanej or portraying them in a way of being physically intimate is because doing so takes away valuable representation that they provide

Representation for asexuals, for people who have touch related trauma, and people who simply don't like or want touch

There is so little representation for us, as is, and people are (unintentionally or not) taking away this too

Especially for Kaz

Yes I want him to heal, but giving him the desire for or action of physical touch, especially within the canon timeline where he still is unable to have that, is erasing representation for haphephobia and touch aversion

And if we're being honest (because I know the haters are gonna come after me and say the only way for Kaz to heal is to be super touchy), if it's between Kaz healing and losing that representation, or remaining crippled by his trauma but keeping the representation, i would take the representation any day

Of course I want Kaz to heal, and unlike the acephobic haters that keep coming after me, I am aware that Kaz can heal and still not want touch

But Kaz is a fictional character, his healing, while important and something we all want, is not in the greater scheme of things more important than the representation his trauma provides in the real world

Especially for me, I had no idea haphephobia was a thing until I read six of crows. I thought I was just making up my dislike of skin to skin contact based off my parents focus on modesty growing up, and my not wanting to violate or intrude but touching People's skin ... not realizing it was my own dislike until I read six of crows.

That's why I fight so hard about this

Because it's not just about the character, it's about what they're providing in the real world. It's important, and needs to be talked about.

And I'm sure someone will come on here and say I'm making a huge deal out of nothing and that they're just fictional characters, but some things are a huge deal, and representation is.

And if you're having a hard time understanding, let me use this example

It would be as if Wylan suddenly could read, yes he is technically "healed" but the representation has been erased

Or if a healer fixed Kaz's limp, yes hes technically healed but the representation is gone

Those two examples would be weird right? You would have a problem with it, with erasing a big part of who these characters are and what they mean to people, even if it does give the characters an easier or better life

That's the same for Kaz and Inej's touch aversions. It is representation, it's part of why they mean so much to me ... and why this topic is bigger than just book characters

Touch aversion and haphephobia deserve to be acknowledged and treated as valuable representation that needs to be preserved and handled with care

It's not just a casual thing that is light and no biggie

It is a big deal to me and likely a lot of other people

And I will never stop talking about it and fighting for it

[its-just-hyper]

THIS!!!!! Oh my GOD this. Hhhrrrgrgrgrgrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhrhrhrhhhh this always always always makes me so mad every time ever.

why do people remove errors haphephobia in ships/shipart and why do people make ink a literal creepo

(COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH. lazyartz.)

[catboygee]

Never forget me having multiple panic attacks and mental breakdowns over being accidentally touched in public then I played Death Stranding and was like "Why do people keep looking at Sam weird this is normal" then fuckiing realizing I've literally had Haphephobia for years and yelled at a TA in Highschool for touching my shoulders once and was confused why people were just okay with steangers touching them 😭😭

so uh shout out to Sam Porter Bridges for being a good media representation for me and my phobia I literally didnt know I had til I played Death Stranding

[bastard-of-the-barrel]

hii i just finished crooked kingdom 2 days ago and i still dont understand why Kaz didnt let Genya heal his bad leg? like one part of me thinks that he considers his disability as a part of who he is but another part me thinks that kaz is too practical to think that? like idk? its just a genuine question and i hope im not being ableist or anything.

Hi! That’s a really interesting question. 

First, Kaz takes advantage of his disability. As you noted, lameness is part of him and his representation. 

“I’m a cripple. That’s my tell. No one’s ever smart enough to look for the others.”

The cane is his cover. People notice the cane and do not think that danger can come from a disabled person. Well, it is obvious that a cane is an ideal weapon in dexterous and skillful hands.

Secondly, Kaz found it difficult to withstand Genya's touch. I think he wanted everything to end as soon as possible, and since he had already lived quite well with a sore leg, he did not think what advantages would await him if his leg was healed.

On the other hand, this decision was illogical. His leg must have been causing a lot of problems. Despite the limp, he moved quickly, but it is obvious that this is unpleasant. For the last year and a half, I have had problems with my leg. Due to the high pain threshold, it is easier for me to live with this problem, but when I was in quarantine, I practically did not leave the house, and now even small walks annoy me. I'm afraid to imagine how difficult it can be for people with problems like Kaz’s or Bardugo’s.

But let's think about his character. He pushes people away from himself because of Haphephobia. He is used to being alone and thinks several steps ahead. He does not let people near him, because they can suffer because of him. Perhaps his bad leg is a way to punish himself. Physical pain that reminds him every day of who he is. Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. 

It became a declaration. There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken. The cane became a part of the myth he built. No one knew who he was. No one knew where he came from. He’d become Kaz Brekker, cripple and confidence man, bastard of the Barrel.

So I think that’s the best answer. This is more than just a bad leg. This is a part of him. Something that he is not going to fix, even if the opportunity arises. Because no one can fix it. Limp is a promise, it is a reminder. Kaz Brekker is a boy who can get all he wants even being a cripple. 

[echodoesstuff62333]

Feel like I should add on because this was kinda rushed.

HIS SHELL IS TOTALLY APART OF HIS AUTISTIC CODING I SWEARRRRRR!!!! It's kike a representation of how my skin feels sometimes. Soft and easily injured. The need to protect it because it's so sensitive. That one blow to it could cause immense pain. Guys please, his shell isn't just something is always be covered 24/7 by his battle shell, neither is it something to only be used for angst or like.. showing how touch starved or whatever Donnie is. It's a part of him. A part he feels he needs to hide because he doesn't fit in. A part that he needs to protect because people aren't very good at changing to be more sensitive or aware around it, Do you see it? His shell is a representation of a part of autism. That part that can easily get you overstimulated on those days, or that ick that people dont care enough to respect.

I have haphephobia, the fear of being touched. Whenver I tell people, the FIRST thing they do is they touch me. It disgusts me and I hate it. It is also something that can quickly overstimulate me. Seeing Donnie's shell? It's like an exact mirror of showing my emotions physically. And during the movie? The part where the tentacles dig into his shell? That's more than just a plot point for angst. It's that feeling of overstimulation digging into you. The part where your senses can get extremely heightened.

His battle shell? It's what he has to do to stay safe. He has to wear it so his normal shell stays hidden and safe. Because he can't trust others to be respectful, or sometimes it's just.. you can't handle the risk.

I love Donnie's representation. It feels like the people who wrote him and made him did intense research. Sure, you can say he may fall into the stereotype of "autistic = smart". But guess what? Theres a reason. It's his special interest. He finds science interesting, and he put the TIME and EFFORT into learning about it. He wasn't born with more intelligence, he just studied something he liked a lot. That thing just so happened to be science.

God PLEASE fandom, stop taking away the representation with him. Stop taking away the reasons behind things. WHY is also important, not just what.

I may come back to infodump even more, but i think im finished for now.

2012 and Rise Mikey cannonly have ADHD

2012 Donnie cannonly has OCD

Rise Donnie cannonly has autism

I don't know if there are any other neurodivergent characters in the rest of the shows and or movies so please to tell me if something was said.

What I wanted to ask is, what do some of ya'll think about these guys's representation? In other words, do you think they are infantilized due to their disorders, do you think they are stereotypes, do you think it's good, bad? Overall just asking what you guys think.

I especially ask those who do have one of these or both of these or all of these mental disorders to say or voice their opinions on how they feel personally. I also do wanna know your guys's opinions on how the fandom treats them so uhh yeah.

Just wanna do this out of curiosity and to just see in general what people think.

Btw: I am not a professional when it comes to this kind of stuff. I've done research and have heard from people online and what they have said. I am gonna be reblogging peoples responses to if there will be any.

Overall, this is just to see how people, especially people with these disorders, feel and what their opinions are. Also let's just keep this all friendly and not attack those with different opinions. Again this is just for curiosity and to see what people think.

[kazofdirtyhands]

✘ Any unpopular opinions about your muse?

meme → the mun’s interpretation topic → ✘ Any unpopular opinions about your muse? what business? → queries

I was going to put this in a different response, but here seemed better! I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, so much as it’s a hot button issue among the Six of Crows fandom - I feel, very deeply, that Kaz is allosexual.

Allosexual (for anyone unaware) means that someone feels sexual attraction; ie, they are not asexual. Some people interpret Kaz as ace, but to me, this is deeply acephobic; it draws into the stereotype that ace people are ace because of a trauma. This is entirely false; their sexuality is not defined by trauma and people can be ace without somehow being touchphobic like Kaz. Furthermore, stating that Kaz is ace is ignorant of the book itself, which portrays him as being attracted to Inej and hints at attractions to other people.

I am not ace myself, so I will say that if an ace person chooses to identify with Kaz, that’s fine - and while I don’t share that perspective, I encourage others to find representation wherever they choose! If an ace person identifies with Kaz, that’s entirely valid. But I will never interpret Kaz as being asexual because of his haphephobia.

I also feel that Kaz can one day experience physical intimacy, and casual touch to an extent. He is working, in canon (and I plan to have him work on this here as well) on touch. Saying that Kaz will never have sex is tantamount to saying he’ll never work through his trauma to do what he wants to do - and what he has referenced wanting to do includes physical intimacy. There are a lot of excellent posts about Kaz in reference to sex and sexuality, and I have one in my drafts that goes deeper into all of this, but suffice it to say; I believe Kaz is not asexual, and I think it is harmful to believe that he is good ace representation.

I should also note (semi unrelated) that I think Tolya is Ace, and I like the idea of Ace David as well. The Grishaverse would be a great place to introduce an Asexual character, and a line about Tolya even makes me believe it already has, to some extent. But that character is not Kaz Brekker. 

[iris-sylvester]

(OOC!)

Majority of my characters are scared of failure abandonment, commitment, or intimacy (haphephobia). This is because these types of fears are commonly shown in characters, but never dealt with properly. And considering I do a lot of psych research, I like to include proper representation of specific phobias. 

Can you feed me some iris facts? Or maybe even Slinky too?

(I noticed the banner has a worm on a string drawing and wondered if that was what Slinky looks like...)

(OOC!)

Tw: mentions of Abuse, Manipulation, Cannibalism

1. Iris is left handed :)

2. Despite drawing her with mainly 3 fingers, she actually has 4, just been drawing her hands at bad angles

3. Iris was named after the flower, and the goddess Iris (goddess of rainbows). The goddess Iris stood as a messenger for humans and the gods (considering Gummy was a god, it kinda made sense that she was like a messenger.) The Iris flower stands for courage, wisdom, and persuasion.

4. Iris is a sharp-shooter, and has perfect aim (not OP though) in her “feral” state, she could tear you to shreds though, but cannot shoot that well.

5. Iris has a weakness for being complimented. If you want her to be persuaded, praise or compliment her and she will easily be convinced. (Talk about low self-esteem)

6. Despite being a “cannibal” she does eat humans too. She is not a human, but likes to consider herself a cannibal due to her sentience and human-like behavior.

7. Iris has been through some tough situations involving previous relationships/associations with other gangs. Shes been used and manipulated her whole life which is why she’s so protective over this gang.

8. She’s a biter. She shows affection through biting but only if she trusts you.

9. She lives for proper etiquette and mannerism. Very lady-like

10. Iris NEVER goes without her makeup. Blue eyeshadow is her life support. Eyeliner and mascara. It’s the equivalent of lipstick for her.

11. She has severe Atychiphobia (the fear of failure.) if she fails, it can set her off badly.

12. She does have family! She still talks to her sister and father. Mother and father divorced but there was no bad blood. (But her Father still loves the mother…)

13. Iris is touch-repulsed. The only time you’ll see her being remotely touchy is if she trusts you. There was no abuse, it’s just simply a behavior she developed.

14. She doesn’t really have friendships sadly. She worries that they won’t want to befriend her. :(

15. she saved Slinky (pet worm on a string) from a toy store her old gang tried to explode. And Slinky just followed her :)

16. She HATES her height, I’d say it’s her biggest insecurity (she’s 4”11)

17. feed her rainbow sour stripes and she’s your friend for life

18. She’s a huge nerd when it comes to rocks and minerals (geology/mineralogy)

19. She’s good at cooking!

20. She loves children (in a motherly way). She likes to take care and nurture them, and would NEVER let a child be harmed no matter what.

I hope this fed you enough. If you want more, I got more. As for Slinky, I might start an ask blog because Slinky is literally a work on a string and can’t talk, but he has the silliest ways of communicating! He’s so silly.

[asktheitalianempire]

The Family

NORTH ITALY

Luciano Vargas is the leader of the family and head of the military forces. He used to be a sweet and lovely child when he lived sheltered by Grandfather Roma but his centuries as slave under Austria changed him turning the country in a distrustful man who isn't afraid to hurt others nor to get injured. He seems to relax only around the other Italians and allows himself to let his guard down only when he's alone with Flavio. He has a dangerous obsession with sharp blades and poisons.

SOUTH ITALY

Cuteness incarnate (At least according to Luciano), Flavio spent most of his life as Spain's slave but as traumatic as the experience has been he retained his optimism and kindness. He can be found socializing with humans in the streets of Firenze, painting, singing or playing instruments, other countries laugh about it since none of his skills would be useful in battle but for South it's incredibly important to keep art alive in a nation that mostly focuses on its army. He suffers of haphephobia and there are only few people who are allowed to touch him.

SEBORGA

Meet the country who managed to buy itself from Luciano. Born with a gift for businesses Seborga managed to use the law in his favor and declare his independence, impressed by his skills and his bravery North decided to cooperate with him instead of crushing him. "Sebi" takes care of turism and trades, making sure the Italian economy keeps growing, and he's the one who works on keeping the relationships with other countries as positive as possible, at least in time of peace and if he has interest in them.

VATICAN CITY

Not an independent nation, Vatican City is the religious head of the country. Older than the other members of the italian family, Vatican didn't choose a monastic life for herself, nor she choose to hide her gender and pretend to be a man but when the church found out their representation was supposed to be a nun they forced her into a farce that lasted for centuries. Now she seems satisfied that at least her brothers know the truth and keeps living a simple life giving all she has to the poor, spiritually helping those in need and... devouring soap operas, dreaming to find her special person, someday, and elope with them.

SAN MARINO

Marialuisa is the little princess of the family, or at leasts she calls herself one. Her existence is a mistery: San Marino isn't independent nor seems to have any form of internal government but somehow she is there, often running around home with a crown on her head or asking people to be her shining prince. Everyone tends to spoil her with threats and she seems inoffensive enough even for Luciano so she's just... there. Part of a poor city with no real authority, if asked why she isn't put in line Luciano will only reply that "he knows better than raising a kid with a deadly grudge toward him."

[abandonedpie]

ok so i know u posted this earlier in the year and im being whiny and this isnt really a big deal but. that post with the three sanses hugging error sans who has haphephobia is rly super misrepresentation, i have it and i can assure u that its not funny or cute when people hug me (or anyone with it), its not "hey get off" its a panic attack and wanting to scratch my skin off and feeling arms on me for hours after. idk i just wish haphephobia were taken more seriously especially in the ut fandom

I’m really sorry if I have offended you or anyone else. I didn’t mean to misrepresent haphephobia or make light of it. While I myself don’t have it, I do hate being hugged (especially without permission), so I personally understand that situation is not cute or funny even for some people without haphephobia, but even less so for those who do.

I’ll admit I ran with the drawing idea without really thinking it through. The scenario itself was not intended to be an accurate or serious representation of haphephobia, simply an excuse to have fun drawing cute chibi skeletons without having to consider the serious and realistic sides of things like I normally do. Under other circumstances—for example, if I were to include a haphephobic character in my writing—I would certainly attempt to portray it with more accuracy and respect.

Again, I am sorry if that post is offensive or disrespectful. I will try to be more considerate and do my best to avoid misrepresenting matters like this in the future.

[pickleepunks]

alloces is the haphephobia representation i didnt know i needed thank u sincerely a haphephobic

Yay! I’m glad :D

[sanktasidra]

seeing/reading a character that has a disability and and has haphephobia in the form of kaz brekker has been so validating in a way i can’t even explain.

thank you to freddy carter too, for bringing this incredible character in life so that i could see a character that shares my struggles, and for doing him justice :)