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#hank Swiss army man
hankmanny · 7 months
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my friend got me a swiss army man custom wood burning piece this is my most prized possession you guys have no fucking idea
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guydog · 1 year
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hello im still not over this movie
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wanted to do a drawing based on this screenshot ^^^
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also here is some close-ups
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mofroggery · 2 years
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she swiss on my army til i man
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mittos · 11 months
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ricoelpobre · 8 months
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Swiss army man real cute until y’all start thinking bout what new STD Hank probably invented after what he wuz doing w the Daniel Radcliffe corpse huh
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v4mpb0t · 1 year
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“Come away with me on a bus, come away where they can’t tempt us with their lies… Come away with me and I’ll never stop loving you.”
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always-andromeda · 2 years
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How Dano Characters Would Play Stardew Valley Part I | Dano!Characters x GN!Reader
Dano!Characters x GN!Reader
Author's Note | I mentioned that I had this idea to the groupchat girlies and they were super encouraging about it; so...this exists now. I just wanted to jot down some wholesome thoughts to give myself a little bit of a break from fulfilling milestone requests. I also just know way too much about this game and it really shows. Part II of this will be posted tomorrow!!
Warnings | spoilers for Stardew Valley? overall, this is pure fluff!
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✰ Alex Jones/Barry Milland ✰
Alex gets very fixated on the game. It's just so calming to him. Expect him to be playing it for literally hours on end, completely avoiding any other responsibility he might have.
He likes planting and picking flowers. No matter how much you tell him that they just aren't profitable, he just loves how pretty they are. He also loves planting strawberries in the Spring.
All of his animals are at full friendship levels with him because he is so diligent at keeping them fed and petting them every single day.
Alex choses a cat for his pet and absolutely goes with naming them after some sort of food. Think something along the lines of Peach, Pumpkin, or Blueberry.
He deliberates for a very long time before choosing to marry Penny. He just thinks that she's so kind and her home life reminds him a lot of what his own looked like when he was younger. When she asks him what theme he'd like her to renovate the bedroom with, he chooses the strawberry theme, of course.
Alex gets a little intimidated by some of the other characters like the Wizard, Hayley, Kent, and Shane. He just doesn't get why they have to be so cold and never really gets higher than two hearts with them.
His favorite villager ever is Willy. He's not particularly good at fishing, but he makes it part of his routine to fish with Willy whenever he's outside of his fishing store.
✰ Calvin Weir-Fields ✰
Right off the bat, Calvin absolutely spoils the Stardew Valley experience. He's incredibly impatient and skips through most heart events and cutscenes. Within hours of starting the game, he's consulting the wiki.
He has a weird dislike for Elliott. Especially if you have any interest in the character. Calvin will fish just to acquire garbage that he then gifts to Elliott.
Calvin marries Leah. A red headed artist who has a bad ex? Yeah, that sounds pretty familiar. You know Calvin is zeroed in on this poor girl. When Leah paints the portrait of Marnie, Calvin chooses the Classic Country Portrait.
He would be okay with having the two children but gets so annoyed with having them run around his house (it throws off the aesthetic) that he'd turn them into doves and only feels bad about it when Leah asks about having children again.
He's decent with the farming and everyday upkeep of the farm but he doesn't see much of a point in the slice of life narrative. He needs an objective. So he just puts all his focus on making as much money as possible.
He gets really good at making jellies, wines, and caviar that he then sells. He tries to get into caring for the animals so he can make cheese, mayo, oil, and fabric but he's not nearly attentive enough to the animals.
This man goes days without feeding the animals and rarely remembers to pet them. He also goes nuts when he gets to name them. He has theming for basically all of the different types of animals. For example, all of the cows are named after gems.
Calvin gets pretty sick of the game pretty quickly though. He'll get bored with the unending nature and the second he puts it down, there's a good chance that he'll simply never pick it back up again.
✰ Dwayne Hoover ✰
Dwayne mostly prefers mining and combat to farming. He's fairly good at the combat aspect, actually.
Also loves being able to enchant his weapons at the Forge on Ginger Island. He has chests full of various weapons (that he never uses) but he still loves collecting them all.
He's scarily good at navigating the Skull Caverns. He has a fully enchanted Galaxy sword and absolutely kills it with his reflexes, killing monsters left and right and getting all of the best loot.
If Dwayne could insert himself into Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail's friend group, he absolutely would.
He also has such a soft spot for the Junimos and tries his damn best to finish the Community Center so they can be freed. If he could punch Morris the way that Pierre can when the Community Center is finished, he would also do that.
At first he says that he's going to stay single in the game. But Krobus? He absolutely strives to get Krobus to move into his farm. He feels bad that Krobus can't go outside and mostly stays indoors.
On rainy days though, Krobus will tell his character, “Ever since I left my people, I've been searching for a new home...now I belong somewhere. That means everything to me.” This makes Dwayne shed a few tears that he will fervently deny.
✰ Edward Nashton ✰
When he first discovers the game, he thinks he's going to be normal about it. He's just going to try it out. But like with everything else in his life, he gets fixated fast.
He dedicates hundreds of hours into the game and creates a dozen different save files. This is because he wants to explore the game to its fullest potential but doesn't want to get bored by playing on the same save file.
Edward marries basically everyone at some point but he definitely has his favorite storylines. His favorites: Abigail (he gets to be her protector when she starts out in the mines and she literally kills for him; what a queen), Sebastian (maybe he reminds him of a certain emo bat boy but maybe he's thinks it's cool that he's drummer, we'll never know), and Penny (she takes care of children, maybe she'll take care of him).
But the marriages are the least of his interests, to be very honest. He hops from spouse to spouse on different save files anyways. For the most part, he loves the mystery; or he likes uncovering mysteries.
He's not great at combat but he loves exploring the mines and finding new pieces of loot to collect.
He collects all the shiny things he finds; both gems and museum items. He'd make his own museum in a giant shed on the farm even though it doesn't do anything to make him money. He just likes keeping little trinkets!
That being said, he hoards basically everything and has chests full of resources that he can never possibly use all of. He spends hours on this game? Of course he's loaded on resources and mostly broke on the majority of his save files. But he wouldn't have it any other way.
✰ Eli Sunday ✰
Eli has a massive savior complex going into it. Shane and Pam are massive red flags for him. He tries going after Shane until he realizes that it's going into a romantic direction. The internalized homophobia has him reeling away and going straight to saving Pam.
This puts him directly in front of Penny. Penny intrigues him. She's quiet, meek, and cares for the town's children. She's the quiet and submissive wife of his little Christian boy dreams.
Eli absolutely tramples over poor Penny. He just gives her poppies continually until she has enough hearts for him to marry her. The second they're married, he kind of forgets she exists and doesn't really notice that the heart levels can deteriorate. 
That doesn't matter though. Father Eli has some money to make! This man wants to maximize his profits in any way that he possibly can.
Starfruit absolutely changed the game for him. He's got his math down exactly right. This is the kind of guy who would write down all of his math and work out the numbers.
He absolutely names his farm Eden and names all of the animals biblical names.
Eli loves having a farm that looks rich and lush. He fills the entire space with barns, coops, fruit trees, and squares of crops all being watered with iridium sprinklers. This farm is his virtual paradise and it really shows.
✰ Hank ✰
Hank has a somewhat normal attachment to this game at first. But it truly is incredibly comforting for him.
Socializing in real life and having his own experiences are kind of difficult for him to manage. So the game is a nice, relaxing reprieve from the anxiety and dread he carries with him every day.
When it comes time to choose a pet, Hank goes with a dog. Specifically the floppy eared brown dog. He’d name it something unbearably sweet like Honey or Chocolate.
Hank finds solace in the story and the intimate moments between the NPCs. He loves the bonds that he can create with each of the townies and finds things that he can like about basically all of them (however, he isn't a huge fan of Pierre, Pam, and Morris, of course).
He loves fishing, foraging, and farming the most. Mining isn't his strongest suit, but he can manage well enough to get rocks and ores. Just don't expect him to go venturing into the Skull Mines more than once or twice.
The greenhouse is his favorite place on the farm. He grows flowers and plants fruit trees along the sides. Sometimes he just likes sitting in there for a few seconds, just to ground himself.
The storylines of each NPC is far more important than money making to Hank.
He dates basically all of the marriage candidates, but he is thoughtful enough to acquire a rabbit's foot so he avoids being slut shamed by the boys and girls.
Hank doesn't get married, though. He loves all of the marriage candidates and their storylines pretty much equally and can't commit to one. But he lets Krobus move in in a heartbeat. It just makes sense to him.
Krobus is a little strange to him and it takes a while for him to warm up to the monster. But as soon as he does, they're thick as thieves.
Hank actually finds it hilarious that he decorates his house in such a classical manner with fireplaces and bookshelves and everything while simultaneously having Krobus' little dungeon room added on to the side of the house.
✰ Jay ✰
Like Alex, Jay adores the animals and keeps them at full friendship levels at all times. He has the most trouble naming them, though, because he'll spend minutes just thinking about what he should call each animal.
He eventually settles on a human name theme. He'll call them just regular people names like Burt, Steve, or some goofy name. This is because he believes it gives them a level of respect that you cannot get from naming an animal after an inanimate object or anything else. Ideally, he wouldn't want to name them at all because, "Who am I to dictate their identity?"
The animals are there purely for a good time. He absolutely doesn't harvest anything from them and actually loses money getting wheat for them so they can eat every day. This man would have no food in his fridge, low energy, no health and he'd still be running to Marnie's to spend his last few gold on getting some wheat.
On many occasions, he has not gotten home on time and passes out at two in the morning at some random place in the forest. This is because he's obsessed with foraging and will explore every outdoor area to find every forage-able good. This is because he never has any money to actually buy food for himself.
Jay ends up marrying Maru. It's almost accidental. He didn't plan on marrying anyone in the game until he saw her heart event where the player looks at the stars with her. It's such an intimate moment that he is instantly smitten.
He completely commits to Maru when she frees her robotic invention, Marilda. It's a sentiment that he applies with every living being in real life, so of course he goes for her.
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lycazart · 1 month
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So this is it,, this is the life I’ve forgotten,,
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pulsingvoid · 27 days
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rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead is lgbt theatre/literature the same way swiss army man is lgbt cinema in that it is blatantly textually about two men in love whose identities are so entwined they may as well be one man. what's gayer than that. and why does everyone always forget about them. when i say these stories are my favorite lgbt fiction i'm not being all wink wink nudge nudge. it's in the text
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iressails · 9 months
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Swiss Army Man (2016) directed by the Daniels
But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. And maybe we're all just ugly, dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.
CCSS 2023 gift for @jameszmaguire
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hankmanny · 3 months
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did i ever tell you guys im actually hank swiss army man in real life like thats me did i tell you
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vanesawye · 7 months
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they need to go on a double date
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scurvyboy · 4 months
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he's just really good at playing fruity people
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kaptenorgazmo · 1 year
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this scene ruins me every. single. time.
the way Hank immediately apologizes, even if its just him and manny alone in the woods hes so scared of what other people would think if they saw him like this, hes so scared of being seen as "wrong" or "different".
the way he stops when hes called beautiful, and then tries to calm himself down ("no why would- really?") like hes scared being happy about it. Like him being happy about being called beautiful/being dressed as a woman is something that is inherently wrong and impossible.
even the way he walks in all stiff and hunched over like he is hiding, but relaxes when manny accepts him with open arms.!!! FUCK!!!
i always read Hank as being transgender (or atleast gnc) and thats why hes so scared and ran away from society. hes so terrified of being seen as gross or just different in general that he tried to live in shame until he couldnt anymore.
I think his infatuation with Sarah isnt one of "i want her" i think its a "i want to BE her"
the montage scene, where for 90% of it he is dressed as Sarah, is probably the happiest we ever see her, just by being able to express herself like this (even if it is in the woods grilling raccoons in a dress made out of garbage).
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ricoelpobre · 4 months
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Jesus found in Ohio
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meringuehearts · 3 months
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remember the end of swiss army man where everyone was happy and nice? yeah me too
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