#hanahaki as a concept is so fucked up and it is SO much fun to play with that

[tarydarrington]

I must know about hanahakish!

🔥\o/🔥 hanahakish is my special little baby project, the most self-indulgent of blorbo blenders.

it is pretty much exactly what it sounds like! essek catches an engineered variant of frigid woe during the aeor arc, and the somatic components to Spell of Don't Die Horribly include a kiss from someone who loves you.

here's a little (unedited) bit of the middle:

-

"That—"

Caleb kisses him. It's short, closed-mouthed, and deliberate. He pulls away again, hands still on Essek’s arms as though to hold him at a distance, and Essek reminds himself to breathe.

"You are very important to our goals," Caleb says in a rush.

His gaze flicks down to Essek's mouth. As though unconsciously, he runs a thumb along his own bottom lip. For a moment, Essek is certain he's about to lean in again and do it properly. Then he straightens, clearing his throat, and looks away.

“This—I did not intend for—”

He curls his lip, muttering something unintelligible. Essek’s heart threatens to claw its way out his mouth.

It’s the finest knife to slip between his ribs. Caleb loves him—truly, provably loves him—but wishes he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” catches in his throat.

He bites down hard on the inside of his lip. There is little he can do to make this easy for Caleb, but at the very least he can keep from crying.

“Don’t be.” Caleb’s hand twitches in his lap. “I will save you a hundred times over, if that is what needs doing.”

If it needs doing. If kissing Essek is necessary, Caleb will do the practical thing. The potion went down easier than this. Essek swallows it anyway, pushing back the hair stuck to his forehead.

“Your help is appreciated.”

[veliseraptor]

Hello! I am a huge huge fan of your works and the hanahaki trope, so I have burning questions about the xuexiao hanahaki au

Is this before, during, or after the Yi city arc? Is it a fix it? Who falls first? Does the Xue Yang reveal change anything? How does the best girl A-Qing react? Does poor Song Lan arrive only to have to play relationship counselor?

I am so hyped for more of your amazing MDZS fics <3

this is a fun way to think more about this au so why not! this answer is coming so late it's not even funny but on the off chance you're still around, anon, and/or anyone else is interested in this concept

the version of this I'm writing is set during the yi city arc in terms of being set during the flashback period (the three years of domestic living, specifically). as far as whether it's a fix-it or not, I'm sort of torn on that and I think it'll depend on how I feel as I write it, which happens sometimes - for instance, our love would live a half life on the surface was originally intended to be a fix-it and ended up...only sort of being that, loosely construed.

I'm inclined to feel like it isn't one because the plan here is really leaning into the potential body horror of hanahaki as a trope, and also rather than being based on unrequited love is more... unacknowledged/repressed feelings. and xue yang is kind of the king of never recognizing what his own feelings are.

and it is true that the whole hanahaki thing should really give him some clues! but on the other hand in the bit I have written when he hears about how it works his response is

“Huh,” Xue Yang said. “Why don’t people just…stop?”  Jin Guangyao raised his eyebrows. “Stop?”  “Yeah,” Xue Yang said. “Stop caring. Just say fuck it, I’m not dying for this.” Jin Guangyao’s eyebrows crept higher. “Are you proposing that someone will themselves out of love?”  “Why not?” 

so like.

I feel like to a certain extent I'm going for some of the vibe of the hanahaki au for 2ha that i read once, which did not have a happy ending.

but also I might not be able to resist making it at least a hopeful ending. I'm not sure; it's really one that would depend on how it felt as it spun out. to be honest, I only have the loosest of plans/concept for this fic. (classic me! my downfall, often.)

as far as who falls first - typically I think that xiao xingchen does but is keeping a lid on his own feelings because he doesn't want to risk Ruining His Friendship by pushing where he isn't wanted and I think xiao xingchen would assume that his friend isn't interested. and xue yang doesn't so much fall as he gets boiled like the frog in a proverbial pot. his feelings for xiao xingchen grow like a fungus, unnoticed until they're not.

but I do find hilarious the mental image of song lan showing up to find a slowly dying of love xue yang and a panicked xiao xingchen and just being like. what the fuck is happening here.

[rockyroadkylers]

WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged by @ssmtskw and @littlemisskittentoes this time! (both your fics look SO GOOD)

I'm really excited this week because. Okay, listen. I started a new WIP. I had, like, five already, but we were talking in the server last week about how there are almost no "Alex fell first" fics, which is kind of understandable because it's hard to come up with a scenario where it would be him instead of Henry, BUT! I was thinking about it a couple days ago, and I swear, it was an actual lightbulb moment.

Everyone who's read the book knows Alex had a massive crush on Henry way before he realized it for himself, and I'm convinced that crush goes all the way back to the days of J14 magazine. I mean, come on, sneaking into June's room to touch a picture of Henry's hair? Multiple times? 😂 Alex, bless your heart, babe.

Anyway, that led my train of thought to Alex getting snubbed at Rio, and the whole concept of unrequited crushes, and then came the lightbulb moment: Hanahaki AU. I've seen a few where Henry has it, but only, like, one where Alex does. And now there will be another! This is not the kind of vibe I usually go for with my writing, but it's been fun to branch out!

It's, um, slightly evil (big whumpy angst vibes), as I have already been told several times by multiple people in the server who have seen snippets, but I'm having so much fun writing it. So, here's a snippet from my newest WIP, which will either be titled "i picked the petals, he loves me not" OR "come and meet me in my garden"

---

Alex has been snubbed by political peers plenty of times before, and he would be probably snubbed by plenty more, but for some reason this rejection had hurt a hell of a lot more than any other. His heart had dropped into his stomach when Henry turned away from him, with that look on his face like if he didn’t get away from Alex fast enough, he might give him fleas.

The thing is (and it’s kind of embarrassing to admit, even to himself), Alex used to look up to Henry. Until pretty recently, as a matter of fact.

Recently, as in, about two hours ago.

He’d always been aware of Prince Henry as a general concept. The royal family is always in the news for some reason or another, so Alex grew up seeing candid shots of Henry with his parents and siblings in magazine spreads, in waiting rooms and grocery store check-outs. But he can still remember the first time he saw a picture of Henry in one of June’s magazines where he hadn’t been with the rest of his family, just featured on his own in one of those locker-sized tear-out posters, with his name printed across the page in big block lettering and a little blurb about his hobbies in the corner. Henry had looked so bright, and happy, and full of life, and easy-going. Alex had been maybe a little bit obsessed with that picture for… a solid two years. Though his obsession with the boy in the picture ended up lasting much longer.

For all the fucking good it did him, in the end.

How does the saying go? Never meet your heroes. Alex gets it, now.

If Henry really is the reason he’s spending his evening coughing up flowers instead of getting wasted at the diving finals with his sister and best friend, Alex doesn’t know if he should be madder at Henry for being a dick, or at himself for being naive enough to believe they could be friends.

---

I think I've already seen some of these people's posts on my dash today, but I'm gonna go ahead and tag @read-and-write-, @suseagull04, @affectionatelyrs, @inexplicablymine, and @anincompletelist!

[lingy910y]

Gallavich Questionnaire

Thank you @energievie for tagging me to do this! I get too unhinged when talking about these two boys, so warning for very elaborate ramblings 🙏

1. What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

This fic is the prime example of why you should write a fic even if you think nobody’s going to read it, because it’s my favorite gallavich fic even though most people don’t want to read about them getting a divorce. But I do, okay, because a normal break-up doesn’t cut it (especially since we already see those in canon, but post-canon is up to our interpretation) and it’s just more serious. I think they will work out their issues before it gets too far in canon but it just hurts so fucking good. The reason for their divorce is so realistic too, in fact it’s not one but a lot of problems piled on top of each other. They think it’s only going to hurt everyone involved including their children, which is arguably true in context, but they can’t resist each other and it’s this back and forth push. There’s parallels to canon, the writing is so good without being drawn out, and there’s so much nuance, emotion, and subtly hinting at something beneath the surface. The pining is just delicious because it’s not “I don’t know if you feel this way about me” or “I’m not allowed to be with you,” it’s “I want to be with you so badly but I’m trying to resist that because it’s going to hurt everyone.” Then the trying so hard not to care because “we’re over, but you’re in trouble and I’m trying to move on and I’m never going to love someone else like I love you” 😭😭😭 anyway I actually had to stop myself from rereading too often for comfort because it was too much LOL

the author said they were going to update it January of this year so I’ll be patiently waiting 😔

3. What's a headcanon you can't stop thinking about?

You know that post abt how when you're sleepy you imagine your favs sleepy? I keep imagining Ian wrapping their comforter around Mickey like a cocoon when he has a nightmare and cuddling him, it's cute

4. What's a fanart you love looking at?

The first image of this by @gallavichonly JUST GETS ME SO FERAL. THEIR FUCKING EXPRESSIONS.

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to draw a character concept art sheet for their outfits/weapons/mechanics for kinda a zombie apocalypse AU. Designing that sounds fun but I need to research more

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

The jealousy trope, especially jealous Mickey. I guess in other fandoms, people write jealousy in a really possessive, cringy way. Not saying gallavich aren't possessive as fuck but at least they earned it, you know? There's too many ships where one of them is breathing down the other person's love interest's neck but they don't even know you exist, like calm down 😭 Meanwhile gallavich tease and try to get each other to admit it first, and Mickey is biting his tongue trying not to say anything and then "Fucking cheat on me, Ian?!", "Whatcha doin' here then?" AND THEIR EXPRESSIONS WHEN THEY EACH SAY "WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW" ARUGHHHHHH I'M SO GONE

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

Touched on this earlier but basically the more tragic/gritty ones—a huge argument, break-ups, unrequited love, falling out of love, hanahaki, amnesia, MCD...

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

Eh I think we've dissected the shit out of every scene lmao, but probably their s4 reunion? The lap dance?

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

Obviously "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

I want Ian to go back to being an EMT no matter what :( but their current security gig fits Mickey a lot. Ian also gets really into gardening, he'll be so good to the point where he'll be known in the neighborhood. And Mickey has a little hobby for drawing. They'll adopt a pitbull because Mickey was actually enthusiastic about that idea, which meets Ian halfway by still giving him something to take care of. Now for the elephant in the room: I think it's okay if Mickey never wants a kid, and there's a lot of issues ingrained in them that unless they go to therapy for a couple of years, hinder them from becoming perfect parents tbh. Now I'm not saying they'll be bad, but will their best be enough? Will they be content? Idk, I don't have any experience and I see them with more issues/flaws than the majority of the fandom? Honestly I just don't see that future for them (but I do enjoy kid AUs because who doesn't.) They'll stay on the West Side because I want them to get out but not stray too far from their family. I also can't think about them getting old or I'll sob, but I wrote a fic about how they'll retire and just live comfortably because it's what they deserve, and they'll take tons of vacations when they save up enough money.

oh my god that was way too much but in my defense i rarely get to rant abt them ok!! anyway now that I went through the whole spectrum of emotions, i'm tagging @michellemisfit, @lupeloto, @jademickian & @softmick 🚶‍♀️

[turnaboutdick]

your wish is my command!

first of all, there is no piece of fanfiction i reccomend more than the "Bionic Coping Mechanism" series by MartinKBlackwoodESQ. i'm literally rereading it right now. it's a somewhere else story written entirely in dialogue format with insane worldbuilding and it's insanely funny. best thing i've ever read easily 10/10. the series consists of a finished 81k fic, a recap of said fic and an unfortunately unfinished sequel, but you have to give this one a go. it is so worth it.

for more longer fics, i also reccomend:

"Foggier Yet, and Colder" by mimikutie - a bit out of season for this one, but its a great read with a very interesting exploration of the characters and Actually Evil Jurgen Leitner

"Like A Fly" by Prim_the_Amazing - always a good read for when you need some good ol fucked up avatar romance

"This Lonely Knight" by arthureameslove - an au with very interesting story and compelling worldbuilding. full of enemies to lovers goodness

"A Home For What Loves You" by TheWrongShop - when it comes to s1 canon divergence, i feel like this is one of it's the best little 'tropes'. this fic is very well executed and a fun read.

i also have a bunch of fics that are a bit shorter but have nonetheless occupied my mind for several weeks upon reading:

"Fools in Love" by CirrusGrey - this fic is a fun tma spin on it's own trope. it is also very cute.

"Non-Conjugal Visits" by shinyopals - martin blackwood gets annoyed for 6k words (incredibly fun fic and incredibly fun ending)

"The Perfect Valentine" by Prim_the_Amazing - this is literally so cute reading it makes me giggle and kick my feet

"Sam nie pojmuję, jak w twe zajdę progi" by Mad_Maudlin - only halfway through reading this one did i realize how good it was - when i put the pieces together and realized what was happening, i had just the biggest grin on my face. so good.

Lovebirds by green_tea_and_honey - sweet funny jmart fluff what more do you need. i can also confirm it is accurate to real life.

Office Party by chewsdaychillin - this ones a bit longer than the others but i feel like it's a good exploration of their relationship thru the entire series

Clutching Daffodils by Gemi - probably the most original spin on hanahaki ive ever read. doubles as a great read in general

Ask a Compelling Question by DotyTakeThisDown - i love jon's characterisation in this so much. incredible concept, but even better execution

a little love, a little sympathy by Did - in which martin's falsified cv is not his biggest, darkest, most evil secret..... needing comfort is!

Martin Blackwood and the Power of Research by boredshyandbi - in which jonathan sims has insane infodump game. when i read this for the first time (and every other time) my face muscles actually hurt from smiling.

Not On My Watch by CirrusGrey - in a universe where the institute is a normal workplace, elias bouchard is still a big douche. jon will not stand for this.

Biscuit Week by chewsdaychillin - what if tma was the great british bakeoff. i think about this everyday. also part of a series theres a part 2 :)

Caramel by Louffox - not your typical coffeshop au. this ones hilarious

"Any Version of You" by CirrusGrey - a series of oneshots made for jonmartin week 2024! each one is super good though can't reccomend it enough

there's also an ongoing fic called "Running with the wolves" by NohaIjiachi i've been enjoying! it's going in a direction i really like.

there's WAYYYY more reccomendations, but this post is getting super long, haha. just vaguepost about needing more fic recs when you need me.

i also urge you to check out the authors of all these amazing fics! they have a ton of good works i probably forgot to mention.

anon... ANON!!!1! thank you.

i started reading bionic coping mechanism today in class (lol) and i am Now Hooked. the author has got the characterization on Point. and i am SO INTRIGUED. i am saving all of these and will definitely be screaming in these authors comment sections at some point. THANKS A LOT!!1!

[evanescentjasmine]

For the questions for fic writers - how about 4, 12, and 30?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

The closest answer to mind right now is probably the name of Grief's daemon in genius loci. It gave me such (forgive me) grief until Riddance just waltzed into my head fully-formed and feral.

Details I actually worked on would probably beeeee...

The narrator voice in my Hades/TMA crossover fic, there is no escape, which had to follow the Hades style while still being horrifying. Deeply pleased with how that came out.

The way urban fantasy protagonist Gerry Keay uses the Fears against each other in my GerryOliver TMA fic, youth dipped in folly. I'm fascinated by the different conceptions of the Fears and how someone outside of the Institute would think of and interact with them, so that was very fun to do.

Most recently, the descriptions in my Daniil timeloop fic, salvage. I'm a writer who frequently forgets that characters don't just exist in a formless void and has to get bonked on the head to describe things, so this is very much a, "look, ma, I did it by myself this time!"

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I haven't written any of these myself (yet?) but hanahaki, a/b/o, and variations of love/fuck or die tropes have historically not been my jam - then I joined horror fandoms and discovered actually these are incredibly tasty to me IF! AND ONLY IF! the horror of it is explored and, preferably, frontloaded. Then I eat that shit up with a spoon.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Related to the above but: r o m a n c e

I can co-write romance just fine, and can enjoy reading it, but left to my own devices in my own fics I tend to...forget it exists? Sex too, sometimes (#aroace brain) which means I don't tend to write ship fics usually, and pairing dynamics tend to be background or off-screen entirely.

My first foray into writing romance by myself was for original work writing and I wrote like six separate romanceable characters in that so woof. It was uh. Painful? And awkward? And I second-guessed myself constantly. Then my GerryOliver fic (although even then my lovely friend and beta had to be like "jas do you think you wanna add some...you know...kissing to this?" and I am eternally thankful) and then -

Well. How it affected my approach to writing fic is a) when I'm outlining I have to look at it and ask myself, did I forget to consider if they have romantic and/or sexual feelings again? and b) how can I use those potential feelings to make everything w o r s e

:D

I'm looking forward to implementing the results of my learning into genius loci before long.

(although, despite being ostensibly a shippy fic, Artemy and Daniil's relationship to each other is still not quite as important as their respective relationships with themselves so. maybe one day I'll write a straight-up romance finally who knows)

[the-faultofdaedalus]

ive slept on it. and astronaut vampires are still good.

[lunapwrites]

Tropes tropes tropes!!!!

I'm gonna go for some classics that I have no idea your take on! A/B/O, sex pollen, our own bring black back, soulmate marks, hanahaki, aaaaand mmmm body swap!

HOO BOY that's a list lmao. I want to preface this with "there is very little that I straight up won't read."

A/B/O: this is a hard D for me (haha) and it's because I've discovered that I have some major squicks around mechanics in even garden variety smut, so if the word "knot" is spoken I'm probably running in the opposite direction. I'm down for the heat cycles (no don't ask me how that works I don't ask myself why I just vibe) but while I'm here for the breeding kink I'm often shaky on mpreg (not a hard no just a HMM.) With all of that said, this DOES still tend to tick a lot of D/s dynamics that I enjoy reading, so long as it's handled in a healthy and consensual way.

(Having to actually parse all of that out in my head was enlightening lmao)

Sex pollen: hmmmmm gonna put that on a hard D as well, since it's like fuck or die (which I do like) but if you took out all the angst of duress and instead made people unable to consent. That said, that's based solely on concept, as I've not actually encountered much if any.

Bring Back Black: a solid A! I hate the fact that he died in canon and I love seeing all the different ways that people come up with to put him back where he belongs, ranging from a handwave "look he just came back, we don't think about the how okay" to some absolutely unhinged shit, ESPECIALLY if this is Remus going off the deep end and clawing at the laws of magic and nature out of sheer desperation. I am, because I'm slut for angst, ESPECIALLY interested in failed attempts and/or unforeseen catastrophic consequences. 👀👀

Soulmate marks: I'd put this at a B-; I like it, but as a whole the stories in this genre tend to get pretty samey. I'm mostly interested in weird takes on it. There are a few that I read where the first words your soulmate spoke to you appear on your skin, and one had Sirius working at Starbucks so Remus was just. Going to every Starbucks he could find lmao. And the other where I think it was Sirius ended up letting out a huge rant over some spilled coffee and the fact that his words were "fuck you" or something like that, whereas Remus had that entire rant on his back lmao. I'm so bad with remembering titles tho, so if anyone has those, I enjoyed them.

Hanahaki: I'd put this at a C. I have SO LITTLE experience with this trope, but it's got great angst potential especially if one of the pair refuses to tell the other that they're in love with them, and the other doesn't know until after they've died. Bonus points if it was actually unrequited but the person still needs to live with the guilt of knowing that even if they'd known beforehand, the result would have been the same. That said, like the soulmate trope it does usually end up fairly cookie cutter as far as I've seen: A thinks their love for B is unrequited, circumstances force a confession from B -- surprise! It's been requited this whole time, A is just a dumbass. Disease cured, cue happily ever after. Okay in small doses, but meh.

Body swap: B! I love shenanigans. I especially love exploring sensations of dysphoria and euphoria using this trope. Often I find it tends to just get used as an excuse to ogle/touch potential love interests without their knowledge or consent though which can be... Not great imo. But if handled well, is quite fun.

Thanks for the ask!

[allyreads]

fic recommendations

this is a list of few of my favourite fics, check my reblogs for even more fics !!

author recommendations here

search the members’ initials to see what i recommend that isn’t on this list!! (kth for kim taehyung, ick for im changkyun, etc.)

fandoms i read: bts, svt, mx, exo, got7 and nct (so far)

disclaimer:

1. this is not a complete list, i’ll keep adding to it.

2. majority of these contain or are smut

3. very angsty so be careful of your heart

got7:

jaebum:

far from home - @red-exo

a light-hearted read that doesn’t use the most complex of vocabulary yet is able to make me feeeeeel all sort ways. although based on a simple concept, the story will definitely hike JB up your bias list!!

jinyoung:

the noisy neighbours - @chickenkooks

mark:

i want desire (a series) - @taexual

who doesn’t love a good mafia AU! series

bts:

seokjin:

currents - @yeoldontknow

one of the most powerful fanfictions ive ever read. all the revelations at the end…i can’t find any other words to describe how powerful it was.

hoseok:

systems of touch - @yeoldontknow

fuelled by love and sexual tension, this story portrays a rather professional side of jung hoseok and a reader through an artistic storyline.

oceans of gold - @junqkook

always had a soft spot for greek mythology (as mentioned below in yoongi’s) the myth of apollo and hyacinth were incorporated perfectly into this fic i’m obsessed.

jungkook:

policeofficer!jungkook - @nothingatallspecialinanyway

inspired by the music video, it’s a simple and hot piece of writing that portrays the AU!possible sexy side of jeon jungkook

oblivion - @softlyjiminie

demon!AU’s are just the best. this has angst too UGH I LOVE.

young wolf - @junqkook

for game of thrones fanatics ;)

forever and a night - @gukyi

a heartbreaking yet lovely werewolf!JK fic

not quite lovers - @junqkook

a hot ass fic, as expected from yara. in this fic the reader is the CEO rather than the guy. it was a refreshing change of perspective

rottenfolk - @junqkook

faerie jk is rotten alright

after dark - @seokoloqy

the sea & the storm - @jamaisjoons

P E R F E C T I O N honestly. so well written and so well thought out and the concept isn’t like any other im so in love

the turing test - @fortunexkookie

there are so many kook stories that i adore and this is one of them that i read so far. it’s another multi-chapter android!jungkoo; and recommend this story so much it’s so carefully crafted.

the monogamy monologues - @kpopfanfictrash

comedy gold, honestly. it’s so funny and so romantic and an amazing late-night read where you get lost in jungkook’s eyes through the form of words. 

rattled - @taehyungforreal

i know the series just started but i can’t help but fall for single dad!JK and i can’t wait to see how the series progresses

namjoon:

legacy - @mintjoonlep

intro: for her - @jamaisjoons

yoongi:

upgrade - @gukgalore

sorry tae, but i think yoongi has won here in this one

1. hello paradise my name is

2. mint

3. aidoneus, my love - @seokoloqy

i’m a sucker for greek mythology so it’s natural that this whole hades!AU series has got to be one of my favourite yoongi fics

heart haunting - @jamaisjoons

taehyung:

the morning after - @softlyjiminie

i just realised i didn’t list any tae fics when i first created this, but i found one!! this is a short, poetic angst / smut written in a genre i can never ever get bored of: the powerful, lingering feelings for an ex lover

1-800-music-street - @httpjeon

buzzed - @ junqkook

warm - @ httpjeon

i’m seeing a pattern in these fics...roommate!taehyung. there’s something so simple and sweet about this concept. gives me hope that love (and sex) can be exciting even in a domestic setting.

everythingoes - @jamaisjoons

so. fucking. good. OH MY GOD. this fic shook me to the core. unrequited love! angst! new found love! all my fucking favourites i love this fic pls go read it i don’t care if it’s 24k words and it’s 3am just go read it ok thanks bye.

taboo - @jhspetitegf

professor!taehyung oops

jimin:

lovebug - @ httpjeon

rockin’ the coffin - @ junqkook

HOT DAMN (it’s all i can say tbfh)

casual clothes - @httpjeon

faded love - @jamaisjoons

my all time fave genre: angst on divorcées / exes who still love each other. this piece was written to perfection. *chef’s kiss*

bloom - @ jamaisjoons

similar to seungcheol’s fic (listed below), this is also about the hanahaki disease and unrequited love. (my favourite!) i sound like a sadist but i promise i’m not

ot7:

eternal orbit - @interludemoonchild

stumbled across this and spent hours reading this series. every single second was worth it. i love the development of character and relationships between each of them. can’t wait for the next few chapters.

nct:

ten:

mine - @whereisten

demon!ten is seriously what i live for. such a hot, sexy fic i loved it. can’t really say much because you’ve got to read it to truly understand just how one demon can really rid you of your sanity.

lucas:

lovestruck!lucas - @warmau

exo:

baekhyun:

nothing like us - @ohh-baekhyun

enough - @kpopfanfictrash

a heart-clenching, emotional angst that potrayed the falling out of and falling back in love perfectly. alongside that came sensual smut to emphasise the connection AU!baekhyun had with the reader. it’s a lovely piece, everyone should check it out.

behave - @elle-lowriting

dom!baekhyun is just… wow. who knew a five letter, authoratative word could have such an effect. i know, me neither. catch a glimpse of baek’s dominance with this fic!!

light - @writing-exo-things

an extremely creative take on fanfictions, created based off exo’s latest demonic-esque concept. intriguing storylines such as this are then well planned out such as this one right here ^ i really recommend reading a few of her/his works. here’s the masterlist for the whole x-ėxø series. it’s a wonderful concept.

mister - @angstyexo

chen:

i hate you - @soobadnoonecanstopher

similar to far from home (JB’s fic), this piece is based on a rather common idea. this one was an enemies to lovers AU. it’s fun to read a tension-filled relationship that is soon resolved by unexpected ways. in short, this was a blithe and beguiling story.

saudade - @fairyyeols​

a slightly heartbreaking but lovely mixture of angst and fluff

chanyeol:

the dress - @thotantics

black tie - @yeoldontknow

my universe - @sehunniiie

the etymology of us - @8bityeol

bodyguard - @optimizche

junmyeon/suho:

automatic - @exosmutxoxo

( i can’t find the link for this :((( )

jongin/kai:

reunited wrongly - @causekpop

heaven - @fairyyeols

seventeen:

jun:

ashes - @taexual

i knew i had to add this to the list right away after reading it. overall, this is a piece that portrays angst and a deteriorating relationship perfectly.

heat - @guccisvt

if u enjoy werewolf!AU’s and hot sexual tension like i weirdly do, this fic is for you. a little lengthy, but worth every word.

mingyu:

but he didn’t - @pasteluji

i clearly have a thing for angst these days but this fic really crushed my heart. managed to portray everything so well: the situation itself and the perspective of BOTH characters I LOVE IT

seungcheol:

what you can’t have - @guccisvt

unrequited love with a twist

monsta x:

hyungwon:

[naptoons]

Lockdown - Zabdiel De Jesus

Theme: fluff and angst I guess & google translated spanish.

Warnings: cute shit with a little sad shit

A/N: okay this song is literally the cutest and I couldn’t imagine anyone fitting this concept but zabdiel🥺 I hope you guys like the angst / fluff🖤 I love you all.

You’ve always had a crush on Zabdiel, he was always there to help you through whatever you were comfortable with telling him. He knew you sometimes better than yourself. You hated to admit you like him. Because you knew you’d end up like the other girls. Either becoming his weekdays or his one time. You didn’t want to be either. You didn’t want your heart broken again. The pain was unbearable last time, you fell hard for your ex-partner. Now you were crushing big time. Zabdiel walks over to you placing the covers over your body, laying your head on his thighs while his fingers caress your earlobe, basically helping you fall asleep faster.

“You look so tired nena, whats got you up late at night?” His voice soothing you deeper into your slumber, you brain urged you to comment “you” but your fear wouldn’t let that happen.

“Work stuff” you mumble, Zabdiel settling for a soft hum, he just draws circles on your lower back, as your ears drown out the music and laughter.

Twenty minutes later the sound of cursing and shouts dawn upon you. Later followed by Zabdiel’s voice “shut the fuck up, y/n is trying to sleep” smiling you slowly sit up snuggling yourself in the covers. Zabdiel peeks his head in the room sighing at the sight of you being awake. “I apologize for them, supposedly uno is super intense you have to scream and jump on couches” he jokes with you.

“It’s okay, I guess I slept too long anyways” you smile fixing the hoodie you had on. Time couldn’t be more awkward then it was now.

“Is that my hoodie? Wow I was hoping I didn’t lose it” his smile beams, your face turning hues of red from your nose to the tip of your ears.

“Mhm” was all you could answer, Zabdiel flops down next to you, his arms rested on the back of the couch. “So we’re going out tonight, we’re going to club then the beach, so get dress nena” his fingertips caressing your exposed skin burning you up in size. You felt like the angel in you burned the wings off. Hit too close to the candles flame. Nodding your head Zabdiel helps you up from the couch, opening the door for you to walk out. He’s a gentleman. The type any girl would fall for. His energy is contagious. The butterflies were to powerful. You’re surprised they haven’t exposed you. Richard turns his head your direction smiling.

“Sorry we woke you up precioso” he engulfs you in a hug “it’s okay, I was waking up anyways”

“Yeah Zabdiel was about to beat us up for waking you up” Joel comments very humbling

“This man hella overprotective of you, makes me think it’s something more than just a friendship” Christopher sticks his tongue out in a very nsfw gesture Zabdiel walks over to him but Christopher gets up before he can lap around there. Laughing at how they’re playing a game of cat and mouse, I walk upstairs to my room. They all decided to come over, we were watching a movie in that room and you got tired. Opening your closet door you grab the most simple but elegant. A lace bodysuit tucked into black ripped jeans. And a pair of boots.

After your shower you think about what Christopher said, those words made you feel fuzzy inside. Made you question some things and even jumped to conclusions. But you’ve cane to realization, Zabdiel is just a flirty person by nature, even his fans know that. So makes you any different? Settling for to pieces of hair laying down on each side of your ears and a slick back ponytail. Looking through the mirror you see Zabdiel slender body “maldito bebé te ves bien” [Damn baby you look good], Zabdiel stands behind you kissing your temple. Smiling you lean back on his chest playfully. Zabdiel digs his fingers into your waist adorning you from head to toe.

Zabdiel knew he needed to tell you, he felt just a strongly as you do about him, but he knew his reputation might have messed that chance up for him. “Cmon lets go!” Grabbing your hand he pulls you towards the exit, while you grab your phone and wallet in the other hand. The rest of the boys were sitting on the couch debating about something, but got quiet as we entered the room. “Aren’t y’all obviously talking about us” Zabdiel laughs.

“No se de que estas hablando” [ I do not know what you are talking about] Christopher smugly replies, you only understand half of that sentence, more or less three words. Richard gets up walking towards the front door “erick should drive, since he can’t do shit” Richard pokes fun at him, You put on a pout face seeing how they bullied him. You walk over and hug him around his waist, cheek on his chest.

“Don’t worry, at least we don’t need alcohol to have fun” you back him up

“Yep, you’re right about that” he smiles wrapping his arms around your shoulder. Zabdiel stood in the background feeling a little jealousy brewing in him. Turning on his heel he walks out the door, swiping the keys on your table you follow pursuit.

“Someone has to sit on a lap” Erick shutters

“You’re thé driver, you ain’t got nothing to worry about, I call shotgun!” You yell just as you’re about to hop in the front seat Zabdiel pulls you into him. “You’re sitting on my lap” without any hesitation he pulls you on his lap, while the rest sit down in the seats. Erick looks back at you smiling.

“Watch your head Zabdiel is built like a jungle gym” he enlightens the situation

“Start climbing y/n, see what lies at the top” Christopher chimes in, getting a smack to the back of his head from Zabdiel. You have no choice but to laugh. You feel his hand on your waist pulling you in closer. “You comfortable?” You ask looking back at him

“Yeah I’m good you?” He asks

Smiling you reply “yes”

Arriving at the club, you saw a couple of his friends, including the girl he’s friends with benefits with. She looked beautiful nevertheless, she smelled like coco Chanel, mixed with the breeze of coconut. She was never bitter to you. I guess cause you hid your feelings so well she wasn’t aware you had the biggest crush on him. Zabdiel walks over to her engulfing her in a hug, her fingernails rubbing up and down his back. It was painful to watch so you softly shoulder bumped Erick and he did the same. “I’m hungry” you complain to him

“Yeah same let’s go eat” you and Erick start racing to the dinner part of the bar, Zabdiel watched you in the distance. Smiling at your happiness even if it wasn’t with him. “Zabdiel, Cmon lets get some drinks” Isabella grips onto his arms. Zabdiel nods follow her over to the bartenders. After you finished eating Erick wanted to dance at first you declined feeling socially awkward by the crowd, but Erick promised if it was too much you guys could go back to sitting down and play with the darts in the back of the club. Erick and you started dancing the rhythm of the beat. Y’all bodies grinding and sticking to each other, blending in just like everyone else. It wasn’t so bad you thought to yourself.

“See! Was it so bad?!” Erick shouts over the music, giggling you shake your head in rejection. “No! It isn’t!” Zabdiel was on the couch with Isabella watching how you guys were glue to each other’s body. He wanted that with you. Isabella and Zabdiel are both in a jealous rage. Isabella understood that he didn’t love her, he loved you. She wanted to make your heartbreak so you’d stay away from him. Erick has left to go use the bathroom, Isabella took the opportunity to speak to you. Kissing Zabdiel on the cheek she gets up from his lap making her way over to you.

“Hey y/n how are you?” She asks

“I’m fine, hot is all” you reply

“Yeah it is hot in here, listen sweetie I have something to tell you” her hands lifelessly laid upon your arm “Zabdiel isn’t ready for a relationship, he’s told me that he only sees you as a friend, he couldn’t cross that brother-sister boundary, you know he’s the flirty type don’t take it personal” if you could throw up flowers like a Hanahaki disease. This would be the moment. All this scenarios they played in your head turned from maybes to imaginations.

“Oh, well thanks for tell me I guess” upon hearing your somber tone on the inside she was quiet glad now you would turn away from her “man”

“I’m sorry baby, I know you liked him a lot, but he isn’t worth giving your heart too, he’ll just break it” Isabella pats your back walking back over to Zabdiel” your ears becoming numb to the blaring sound of the music. You watch her sit down on Zabdiel’s lap his hands wrapped around her waist. Smiling as they have a conversation. You told yourself not to fall hard for him. Just in case something like this were to happen. Erick comes out smiling, but that smile soon fades upon seeing the way your lower lip poked out in despair.

“Hey y/n are you okay?” He asks caressing his thumb on your forearm

“Erick.. May I be alone for fifteen minutes? I’ll be at the beach okay?” you force a smile, his eyes downgrading in shades of concern.

“Sure, I’ll come get you in fifteen minutes” Erick smiles, he kisses your temple watching you walkout the door before he turns around heading straight towards Zabdiel.

Zabdiel stops laughing once he sees the look upon Erick face, he knows somethings wrong. “Que Paso ?” [what happened]

“Something happened with y/n, she looked hurt, like she heard something and was disappointed by it” Zabdiel pushes Isabella off of him. She tries to grab his hand but he swings it away.

“What did you say to her?” Zabdiel growls, usually it would cause a bundle of joy in the pit of her stomach, but this sounded like a raging monster.

“Papi I didn’t say anything, maybe she was just thinking about something” she lies, Richard smugly drinks from his cup

“pequeña eres una gran mentirosa” [ little girl you are a big liar” Zabdiel turns in his direction “bro she went and told y/n you’re not in love with her, and that you aren’t ready for love, she also said you’d just hurt her” Zabdiel’s fists balles up wanting to punch a wall or a table but calms down ready to tell her off “when I come back home, I want your shit gone, I’m changing my number as well, get the fuck outta my face” Zabdiel looks back at Erick asking where you’ve gone too.

You were sitting close by the shore not to close to be swept away but close enough the waves crashed against your toes. Wiping the tears from your eyes that blended in well with the salt water in front of you. Why did you have to get your hopes up? You thought to yourself. Hearing the sound of feet against the sand you sniffed and dried your eyes. “It hasn’t been fifteen minutes yet Erick but I’m coming” you get up from your position as you turn around you realize it’s not Erick. But the boy you’ve fallen in love with.

“Oh hey Zabdiel” you couldn’t talk to him right now, you didn’t know how you could talk to him. Things would be awkward. It already was awkward but you always played it off by flirting back. Now you couldn’t do that. Trying to walk past him he grabs your wrist making you stand in front of him, as he towers over you. “What don’t you wanna go back inside? Your girlfriend is probably worried”

Zabdiel rolls his eyes “you know damn well she isn’t my girlfriend”

“Well Isabella is waiting”

“Can’t you see I don’t give a fuck about her? Y/n I’m here cause Erick told me you were out here”

“Your point?” You didn’t mean to be cold,but you wanna let him get close, your heart is already broken. Twice could make you run away from him.

“For fuck sakes y/n I like you” Zabdiel bluntly comments.

Shaking your head you feel the tears roll down “no you don’t Zabdiel, I don’t wanna be just another girl to you, I want more then that I deserve more than that, I don’t want to feel my heart break no more” your voice floating in the window “cause the minute that we touch lockdown, Zabdiel because I am in love with you, I might never want to let you go”

Sniffling you drop your arm still in his grasp “just tell me please, you got someone else, so I can make easy to not go there” you let out one last comment.

“ I can’t lie to you. I don’t have anyone else and I’m not in love with Isabella, it’s always been you, you idiot” not giving you anytime to respond, the sun and the moon met, as his warmth cascade over you, his fingers placed gently on both sides of your cheek, holding the both of y’all together like glue, the waves crashing against the both of your feet’s. A gust of wind flowing in between you two. It was something and more you’ve always dreamt of. Pulling away from your space, a string of saliva becomes a divider between you two. His eyes swimming in love, but also in beauty because of you. “Y/n i meant what I said, I’m deeply and utterly in love with you, fuck more then I should be, it scares the hell out of me, but feeling that jealousy tension today I know that this feels right”

“You were jealous?” You ask curiously

“That’s all you heard?” Zabdiel laughs “yeah, I got very jealous today, what Christopher said is true, I’m very overprotective of you”

“I love you too” honey voice came from your lips, instantly melting Zabdiel, his smile so milky and delicate. Leaning in he crashes his lips upon yours with only one hand on your jawline.

Erick has to drive us home, everyone was drunk besides him and I. Zabdiel was tipsy he could’ve drive but he wanted you to sit on his lap again. Getting out the car the cold wind hit my body. We said out a little longer, playing with the water, kissing, watching the moonlight against the water. It was something that only happened in movies. “Here” Zabdiel wraps you up in his jacket, smiling up at him he kisses your forehead. Something that always gave you butterflies. Even with him bring your boyfriend now. Erick Opens the front door for us, while everyone followed pursuit.

“Finally you told her z! Told you she felt the same” Christopher slurs his words, You giggle in how shy he is by that comment but he just picks you up taking you to his room. Closing the door behind him you scope out the room. He’s done some remodeling there were things you never seen before in his room.

“I added something you’ll love” he speaks

“Hm, what is it?” You reply

“Change into my hoodie and you’ll find out”

“I’ll do that if you take a warm shower with me” innocently you plead

“Oh, already?” Zabdiel jokes with you.

After the shower you and Zabdiel were cuddled up in his bed “so where’s the surprise?” you ask he reaches over on his nightstand grabbing what looked like a remote. He clicked it and stars appeared on the celling. Looking just like the skies you saw at the beach. Astonished by the view your eyes turn into a galaxy. And he loved it.

“How is that for a surprise?” He mumbles against your skin “so now when you come over, we can do just this” he wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you into his chest.

“What more would you do for me?” You smile

“Whatever you want me to do, you have me on lockdown”

[arofili]

Worldbuilding Exchange Letter 2021

Hello lovely creator, thanks for creating for me in the Worldbuilding Exchange! I’m very excited and grateful for whatever you create for me <3

This letter will restate my DNWs, list my likes, give you a brief rundown of my canon preferences, and then dive into specific prompts for each of my requests.

I’ll warn you upfront that I tend to ramble, so feel free to skip prompts that don’t interest you and/or use ctrl+F to search for whatever it is you want to write for.

My requests are divided by fandom, and in the case of the Silm + Middle-earth Legendarium, by topic too, so hopefully that will be helpful for you! Also, my TAZ request is waaay down at the bottom, so if that’s what you’re here for, just go to the bottom of the page.

Housekeeping:

DNWs:

Non-con

Unrequested dub-con

Abusive/Neglectful parenting (especially wrt Fëanor)

Sibling incest, parent-child incest (cousin pairings are fine)

Unhappy/Unhopeful endings (unless otherwise specified)

Jealousy/Possessiveness

Cheating

Character or ship bashing

Hanahaki/any scenario where unrequited love is physically damaging

Soulmates, especially soulmate AUs (soul bonds are OK, if there is choice involved)

Porn without plot (Porn with plot is fine!)

Food involved in sex

Unrequested Modern AU

Non-trans mpreg

If you’re writing a slash ship where the characters are/were married to/involved with someone outside the ship, please don’t have the character(s) hate their spouse or not have been actually in love with them (the one exception is Finrod; I’m fine with him and Amarië not having been actually in love, but please don’t do this for anyone else, especially not Fëanor)

Hobbit/LOTR-specific DNWs:

The concept of a dwarven “One”

Any Fíli pairing

Alfrid

Legolas or Gimli paired with anyone other than each other

no smut for these fandoms, please

Silm-specific DNWs:

Evil/irredeemable/incel Maeglin

Elwing bashing

Fëanorian bashing

Over the top Fëanorian apologism (they did bad stuff; it was at least partially their fault. you don’t have to address that, necessarily, but don’t rewrite the story to claim they were blameless)

Fingon with a wife

Fingon or Maedhros ships that don’t take Russingon into account (polyamory, an open relationship, Mae with someone after Finno dies or vice versa for an AU, them with other people while they’re separated on the Ice/in Angband - all of these scenarios are fine, but in the end I need them to be with each other first and foremost)

Dark!Maedhros

Elvish re-embodiment after death being an actual, literal rebirth that requires the characters to have a second childhood; I much prefer them being granted a new hröa in their prime (feel free to explore what “in their prime” means, though, especially wrt scarred and disabled elves)

~~~

Likes:

(these might not all apply to worldbuilding, but they might give you a place to start from!)

Gen fic

Found family

Family dynamics

Loving families, even when things get complicated

Friendship, intense/important platonic relationships

Relationships that defy categorization

Queerplatonic relationships

Polyamory

Queer headcanons (especially aromantic-spectrum headcanons)

Trans/nonbinary headcanons (genderbending is also fine, but I prefer trans/nb hcs)

Angst with a happy ending

Gray morality

Explorations of magic

Most tropes

Fanon and fandom tropes

Deconstruction/Inversion of fanon and fandom tropes

Interspecies relationships

Peredhil

Secret relationships

Secret relationships coming to light

Secret kids (especially secret peredhil!)

Giving ships OC kids

OCs interacting with canon characters

Confessions of love

First times

Hurt/comfort

Redemption, forgiveness, mercy

Ironic foreshadowing

Canon divergence AUs/X Lives AUs

Politics and scheming

Resolving conflicting canonical details

Historical/Narrative bias affecting what is and isn’t “canon” (to an extent; changing motivations, consequences, etc is great, but please don’t ignore canon entirely)

Elrond & Elros having complicated relationships with both their bio and adoptive parents

Names fitting the time period (Quenya names in Valinor, please; if this is difficult for you, that’s okay, no pressure, but I do strongly prefer it)

Names having a lot of thought put behind them (does the character go back to their original Quenya name upon rebirth? or do they keep their Sindarin name? or come up with something else entirely? do they hate their new Sindarin name and resent having to use it, or do they embrace it? As long as you put some thought into it, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you decide!)

Author’s notes where you explain your thought process, if you want; I love hearing how the story took shape!

~~~

Preferences re: Canon:

LaCE compliance is always completely optional (except if you’re choosing a prompt that is specifically about LaCE, lol). If you do want to include it, that’s great, but if you just want the characters to fuck without having that be an issue, go for it. I love explorations of LaCE that take into account the exceptions, boundaries, definitions, etc; I also love takes that emphasize that they are Laws and Customs, not biological imperatives.

I’m not picky about my Amrod deaths. He can die at either Losgar or Sirion (or, hell, some other time/place if you make it interesting enough!), whatever works best for the story. I do like Lightly Toasted Amrod, aka he almost burns to death at Losgar but survives/gets rescued at the last minute.

Gil-galad theories are all very fun. Please don’t make him the son of Fingon and a wife; if he’s Fingon’s son, I want Maedhros to be involved at least a little bit (adoption or trans mpreg are both fine in this scenario). Otherwise, I don’t have a particular preference, though if it’s not really relevant I usually default to the son of Orodreth (who is in turn the son of Angrod). Also, I’ve requested “Origins of Gil-galad”; there’s more information on him in that section.

Honestly, when it comes to theories and headcanons, my rule of thumb is “convince me”! I’m down for whatever, for the most part, as long as you can justify it :)

~~~

For all of these, “suggested characters” pulls from the list of characters I requested with that signup, but if you’ve got an idea involving other characters then go for it! And in the end, all characters are just suggestions, this exchange is more about the worldbuilding :)

~~~

The Hobbit (Book)

Adventuring Hobbits Before Bilbo: Who were they? Did they ever come back, or was Bilbo assumed dead because of precedent? Were they all Tooks, or did some other hobbits tag along on adventures, too? Suggested Character(s): Belladonna Took

Dragon Magic & Dragon-hunting: Talk to me about dragons! I’m interested in dragons & dwarves, especially in relation to the first time dwarves were driven from Erebor and into the North and the War of the Dwarves and Dragons. What kinds of dragons set their sights on the mountain? How old was Smaug when all that was happening; did he learn anything from the failures of his kin? Who were the dragon-hunting dwarves who fought in that war? Suggested Character(s): Smaug, Original Dwarf Character

Dwarven Craft and Magic: Enchanted weapons, enchanted armor, runes and spells...all so interesting! Borrowing from the movies a bit, did Kíli’s runestone from Dís have any magic power? What’s the deal with the Arkenstone’s thrall? How do elf and dwarf magics intersect when it comes to objects like Bilbo’s mithril coat? Suggested Character(s): Dís, Frerin, Thorin, Original Dwarf Character (perhaps a craftsdwarf?)

Dwarves and Gender: We need more dwarf women! And I’d love any takes on nonbinary dwarves and/or dwarf-specific genders. Were there female dwarves in the Company that Bilbo mistook for male dwarves? Are dwarven women really only a third of the population? If dwarf men and women are very similar in appearance, how do they differentiate between them, or do they differentiate at all? If you included something about dwarvish braiding styles indicating gender, class, marital status, I would be delighted. Suggested Character(s): Dís, Frerin, Thorin, Original Dwarf Character; in this case I’d prefer a focus on canon characters, but OCs interacting with them would be marvelous, especially people like Dís’ spouse.

The Black Arrow: Bard’s little pep talk to his arrow has always intrigued me. I’d love to see your take on the origins of the Black Arrow. Does it really come from Erebor, and if so, who made it? How did Bard and his forefathers come to acquire it? (I like the movie version that ties it into Girion’s attempt to kill Smaug, so feel free to incorporate that if you feel like it.) Is the arrow enchanted? (Perhaps that could be tied to the Dwarven Craft and Magic tag!) Suggested Character(s): Bard, Original Character from Dale, Original Dwarf Character

The Stone Giants & Were-worms: I don’t have many thoughts on these guys except “neat! tell me more!” I’m fascinated by the creatures Tolkien only gives us a passing mention of; if you feel like it, maybe you could combine these tags with some of the creatures in the LOTR tagset (crebain, cold drakes, Watcher in the Water, Mearas, Kine of Araw, etc...I didn’t sign up with all those tags, but it would be neat to hear about them anyway!)

~~~

The Lord of the Rings (Books)

Cold-drakes and Fire-drakes & Crebain & The Watcher in the Water: Like with the Stone Giants and the Were-worms, I just think they’re neat and I’d love to hear your take on their origins and how they affect the history of Middle-earth. Feel free to combine this with other creature-related requests. Suggested Character(s): Scatha

Ghosts and Hauntings: Barrow-wights? Nazgûl victims? Just your crotchety old hobbit neighbor who still holds a grudge about losing the biggest pumpkin contest despite having been dead for 20 years? There’s a lot of potential for stories here; maybe you could combine a ghost story with some other prompt to add a murder mystery or haunting plot to a relationship you’re exploring!

Dwarf-Elf Relations: I don’t believe All Dwarves and All Elves hated each other! We have famous elf-dwarf friendships across the ages, and really it was just the Sindar vs. the Broadbeams/Firebeards that had the feud. Still, Legolas (a Sinda) and Gimli (raised among Broadbeams and Firebeards in the Blue Mountains) are caught up in that, so their friendship is quite remarkable! I’d love interrogations of how that feud continued across centuries and discussions of what really went down in Menegroth, perhaps with one of the Durins having an elf friend at some point in the past that sheds light on how Legolas and Gimli can get along. (I am here for any and all Gimli and Legolas combinations; I love them as friends, I love them as boyfriends or husbands, I love them as queerplatonic partners, I love them as anything in between! Do whatever you’d like with them!) Suggested Character(s): Gimli, Legolas, Original Elf Character, Any of Durins 1-7

Elvish and Mannish settlements in post-Ring War Ithilien: How do Legolas and Faramir get along, both living in Ithilien after the war? What do Legolas’ people think about being neighbors with a bunch of Men? Faramir and Imrahil were Aragorn’s chief commanders after the war, and Legolas expressed admiration for Imrahil; I imagine Imrahil visited his nephew in Ithilien, so what are the interactions of those three like? I’d love to see an exploration of Silvan elves and their culture here, with Legolas leaning into his Silvan heritage and maybe some Silvan OCs who have spent their whole lives in Mirkwood up until now and have never met Men before now! Suggested Character(s): Faramir, Legolas, Imrahil, Original Elf Character

Relations between the Dúnedain and Rivendell: Talk to me about the Grey Company, or Elladan and Elrohir fighting alongside their distant kin, or Rangers taking breaks in Imladris, how the Rangers think of Aragorn who was raised among elves, etc. I’d love an outsider POV here, such as an OC observing the oddities of a canon character. Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Original Ranger of the North

The Glittering Caves of Aglarond: More Gimli and Legolas stuff - but with a focus on Gimli this time :) Gimli as a lord in his own right, Gimli who takes elves on tours of his dwarf-kingdom and weirds out his people (is it just Legolas, or does he take any Silvan elves with him, or like...his elvish in-laws??), Gimli as a craftsman... Or, alternatively, you could explore the caves before Gimli gets to work on them, what the Rohirrim thought of them and how they were created - by natural processes, or by magic, or a mixture of both? Did Aulë make them for the dwarves to find, perhaps? Suggested Character(s): Gimli, Legolas

~~~

The Hobbit (Movies)

Dragonsickness/Goldsickness: The parallel to mental illness in the movies was really interesting. I’d love to see lingering effects of the goldsickness on Thorin after the Battle (Everyone Lives AU, probably), or an AU where Fíli or Kíli inherit the throne of Erebor and are afflicted by it as well. Or, sticking to canon, how did Fíli and Kíli and the rest of the Company deal with Thorin falling into madness? Were the other dwarves affected by the thrall of the gold? Bard and Thranduil were observers of Thorin’s madness; what did they think of him? Did Thranduil remember Thrór under dragonsickness? Or, since movie!Thranduil is a far cry from book!Thranduil when it comes to going to war over jewels, was he affected by the dragonsickness even from a distance? Was Bard? Suggested Character(s): Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bard the Bowman, Thranduil

Dwarves who "choose craft"/Aromantic-Spectrum and Asexual-Spectrum Dwarves: This is pulling more from the books than the movies, but I didn’t have enough nomination slots to include any book nominations, so it went here, lol. Anyway: as I’m sure you can tell from my tumblr url, I headcanon Fíli as aromantic, and I love seeing that in fanworks! It’s really wonderful that Tolkien mentioned that many dwarves choose their craft over marriage, and I’d love to see an exploration of that aspect of dwarvish culture, and how Fíli fits into it. It seems to be fairly common/accepted, but are there different cultural pressures around marriage for the crown prince? How does Fíli figure out he’s aromantic? If aro and ace dwarves are expected to be choosing a craft over romance and sex, what’s Fíli’s craft? Or does he not have one, and people judge him for that? The “choose craft” language I use is very much inspired by this post and the Neo-Khuzdul word “bijebtorva” :) Suggested Character(s): Fíli, Original Character(s)

Governance and Politics in Mirkwood: How did Thranduil and Oropher come to power in the Greenwood? I hate the “lowly Silvan elf” line from the movie; can you somehow justify that with worldbuilding, or show how it’s not accurate? Is Legolas half-Silvan like is implied in the LOTR books? Who are Thranduil’s advisors? Is Tauriel really the only one who dislikes and defies Thranduil’s isolationist policies? Is Mirkwood very patriarchal, and is Tauriel’s appointment to Captain of the Guard something she faced opposition or competition for? Are the Sindar elite colonizers, or did they integrate into Silvan society? How does the average Silvan elf feel about their king, or do they not even think about him? Suggested Character(s): Thranduil, Tauriel, Original Character(s)

Poetry and prophecy: Bard uncovers that tapestry that turns a song from the book into a somewhat ominous prophecy; there’s a lot of discussion of fate and signs from the thrush at the door to the last light of Durin’s Day; Thranduil has seen enough in his thousands of years to have had time to brush up against a prophecy or two. What do these three believe about fate and prophecy? Are any of them prophets in their own right? How does poetry/music lend power to prophecy? (Bonus points if you tie it back into the Ainulindalë...) Suggested Character(s): Bard the Bowman, Thorin, Thranduil

Poisons and antidotes: I love Kíli/Tauriel and the scene where she heals his wound...but the worldbuilding around morgul poison and athelas is a little murky. It’s a decent parallel to Frodo’s condition in the LOTR movies, but it’s confusing lore-wise. Can you make sense of it? If Tauriel is a warrior, where did she learn healing? (In my own headcanons, her foster family are healers, which is how she learned those skills even though she’s primarily a warrior - but feel free to take it in whatever direction you’d like!) Suggested Character(s): Tauriel, Kíli, Original Character(s)

Rebuilding Erebor & Relations between Dwarves + Elves + Men: (I’d prefer an Everyone Lives AU for this situation.) How do Thorin and his Company put Erebor back together again? What are the renovation projects like? How long does it take Dís and the rest of the Longbeards to arrive in Erebor and help out? How long does Dáin stay to help his cousin? I would love to see some politics both internally within the Longbeard dwarves and externally as they relate to Mirkwood and Dale. Smaug’s corpse is just lying in the Long Lake...how do the dwarves feel about their old enemy’s body so close by? Do some Men want to re-establish Lake-town, and demand help from the dwarves who flushed the dragon out of the mountain? Do the dwarves want to harvest Smaug’s corpse for resources? (He’s probably got gold and jewels stuck in his scales, and dragon-skin/scales is probably a good raw material for crafting things.) What’s the process of Bard becoming King of Dale? Does he face any opposition? I love the idea of Hilda Bianca challenging him for leadership, or maybe insisting on some kind of democracy/representation in Dale! And if she doesn’t get her way, maybe it’s her leading some people back to Esgaroth and founding a democracy there that would make the old Master roll in his watery grave... How do Bard and Thranduil and Thorin reconcile after the battle? Does Thorin pay up like he said he would? Does Tauriel hang around, or does she go somewhere else? Are any elves inspired by her, or is she a total outcast? If you choose to explore the Kíli/Tauriel relationship, how does that affect politics between Erebor and Mirkwood? Suggested Character(s): Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bard the Bowman, Hilda Bianca, Thranduil, Tauriel, Original Character(s)

Tauriel's fate after the Battle of the Five Armies: This is for exploring what happened to Tauriel in canon. Does she wander the world and explore new places? How long does she mourn Kíli? What does she do with the runestone? Does she return to Mirkwood, and if so, how does she manage to get back into Thranduil’s good graces? There are a million different ways to take this, I’d love to see your take on her! Suggested Character(s): Tauriel, Thranduil, Original Character(s)

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The Silmarillion: Magic & Spirits

Houseless Elves: Why did they refuse the call of Mandos? Do Avari even go to Mandos? Can Melkor and Sauron ensnare these spirits for their necromantic purposes? If the call of Mandos is refused once, does that bar them from listening in the future? What kinds of ghosts are haunting Middle-earth in the First Age? What kinds of ghosts haunt Aman? Suggested Character(s): Original Character(s), Melkor

Magic as a connection to the Music/the Song: Magic isn’t always the best-explained in Tolkien’s universe, but what we do know is the incredible power of the Music. How do the Maiar and Valar, who are not technically beings of Arda, interact with the world? How do elves and men (and dwarves! and orcs!) tap into the Song and manipulate it to their benefit (or detriment)? I have the headcanon that Elemmírë, the elf who sung the Aldudénië, is a priestess of Varda; what was the power of that mourning song, and how was it received by her patron Vala? Suggested Character(s): Elemmírë, Varda, Melian, Melkor, Original Character(s)

Nature Spirits: These holes in Tolkien’s worldbuilding are fascinating to me. What role do nature spirits play? How many are there? I’m thinking particularly of river spirits, like the River-woman and Goldberry, but there are probably also mountain spirits and water spirits and-and-and... Are they Maiar? Lesser beings? What do the Maiar we know of think about them? Gandalf seems the kind to listen to them and learn their stories, but perhaps Melian sees them more as servants in protecting her realm... Suggested Character(s): Melian, Original Character(s)

The Shadow-shapes in the hills above Cuiviénen: What were these shapes? Melkor’s prototypical monsters, Maiar who didn’t know how to interact with the Children, something else entirely? What did the original elves believe about them? Did they fear them, did they try to appease them, did they try to confront them? I headcanon that Elemmírë is an Unbegotten elf, so perhaps she lost friends to the Shadows, or thought she did. If the Shadows did take elves, was it out of malice or curiosity or a desire to protect them from whatever Melkor was planning? Suggested Character(s): Melkor, Elemmírë, Original Character(s)

The Void: Melkor spends a whole lot of time here. Does he have any company? Something or someone he makes to pass the time with? Do the Valar (like Manwë or Námo or Varda or Nienna) visit him there? What is the nature of the Void, is it pure emptiness or chaotic magic or a nightmare machine? Is Melkor being punished or is he being contained? And where are the boundaries of the Void? Varda rules the heavens; does her realm bleed into Melkor’s prison? Suggested Character(s): Melkor, Varda, Original Character(s)

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The Silmarillion: Elven Relationships

Note: This request deals with relationships, and while I’m open to pretty much anything, please keep in mind my DNWs. Exploring these topics using canon relationships is a safe bet; I adore Maedhros/Fingon so having a look at them through this lens would be amazing; I have Aredhel as a character request here, and I see her as aromantic (“to none was her heart’s love given”) so while showing her in a relationship is fine, I’d love it if you could take her lack of romantic feelings into account; if you have a question about another ship, you can check to see what I’ve written and/or send me anon message! Additionally, a lot of these talk about soul bonds, which I’m very interested in, but one of my DNWs is soulmates. To me the concepts are very different things; it’s the destiny and inevitability and universal assumption of romance that really squick me out about soulmates. Soul bonds, on the other hand, have an aspect of choice to them that I really dig. So, please don’t make characters Fated For One Another, but please do explore what joining souls is like!

Laws & Customs of the Eldar: Boy do I have a lot of feelings about LaCE—and I’m always intrigued by other people’s feelings, too! I’d love to see an exploration of how these laws and customs came to be, which parts of the rules around marriage and children and re-embodiment are social constructs and which are innate to the fëa and hröa, and/or relationships that defy the norms. If your take on the laws is hetero/cisnormative, how does that affect queer elves? If your take is free of bigotry, what are the flexibilities around queerness, including asexuality and aromanticism? Laws and customs and rules always have loopholes and exceptions, so what do elves who don’t fit into the expected relationship mold do about these norms? Suggested Character(s): Aredhel, Maedhros, Fingon, Elrond, Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Arranged Marriages among the Eldar: Russingon arranged marriage AU?? Orrrr....Maedhros or Fingon are politically engaged to someone else, and they have to deal with the ramifications of that? (Please don’t have them actually go through with the marriage if you go that route; I’m not interested in a story with Fingon having a wife, even if she’s a beard.) If elves (usually) only love once, and by declaration of the Valar can only marry once (Finwë being the somewhat disastrous exception), how is an arranged marriage justified within the cultural emphasis on these bonds? Are they more like arranged romances, people pushing their children together in hopes that they’ll fall in love? Or is it a stricter rule about “you do what’s best for this family”? (Note: Bad/cruel parenting is one of my major DNWs, so if you’re going that route, please don’t make the parent uncaring or malicious. Stubborn and narrow-minded is fine, as is the genuine belief that this is what’s best for the child, but ideally they’ll learn from their mistakes or perhaps everything will be interrupted and derailed by Canon Events. This is especially important wrt to Fëanor.) Suggested Character(s): Maedhros, Fingon

Creation/Discovery of soul bonds: How do soul bonds work on a metaphysical level? Can they be broken? Do they have to be nurtured and maintained? What’s long-distance communication like? Heck, what’s short-distance communication like, is it like talking in your mind or sharing your feelings or more abstract than that? Can elves form soul bonds with mortals? And most importantly—how did elves figure out they could soul bond with one another?? I can imagine that would be quite a shock when they’re discovering sex and then suddenly they’re inside each other’s minds! Suggested Character(s): Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Non-romantic/sexual soul bonds: I’m good with practically any relationship here. Explore sibling bonds, twin bonds, parent-child bonds, queerplatonic bonds, found family bonds, adoption bonds, the bond between a Vala and their Maia...any kind of soul bond that is familial or platonic or chosen without regard to romance! (Feel free to take a canon romantic relationship and turn it queerplatonic, I live for that shit!) How are these bonds formed outside of sex? What are the rituals and ceremonies around forming them? Is it a public or private thing? Are non-romantic soul bonds taken seriously, or are they seen as less important than marriage bonds? Since elven parents literally give part of their soul in the creation of the child, is that parent-child bond innate? Suggested Character(s): Aredhel, Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Elven adoption: I nominated this with Kidnap Dads in mind (if you go that route I love fluff for them as well as more nuanced/complicated takes on the situation, but whatever you do don’t make M&M cruel, and please include Maedhros as a parental figure alongside Maglor)...but hey, it could work for Fingon (and Maedhros) adopting Gil-galad! What are traditions around elven adoption? Are there soul bonds created between the adoptive parents and children? Was adoption even a thing in Aman, or is it only practiced in Middle-earth? Did elves adopt mortals and vice versa? Is adoption extended to found family other than a parent-child situation? How is adoption viewed by elvish society, especially if inheritance/succession is a concern? Suggested Character(s): Maedhros, Fingon, Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond

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The Silmarillion: Noldorin Politics

Original Fëanorian follower(s) who turned on their lords at Sirion: Okay, this is a character tag, but I’m absolutely obsessed with this line: “For the sons of Fëanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin and the remnant of Doriath, and destroyed them. In that battle some of their people stood aside, and some few rebelled and were slain upon the other part aiding Elwing against their own lords (for such was the sorrow and confusion in the hearts of the Eldar in those days).” Who were these people who followed the Fëanorians into exile, into a Kinslaying, through the burning of the ships, through 30 years of Maglor as a king-regent incapable of treating with the Nolofinwëans, through the scattering of their lords and the harsh conditions of the North, through the Bragollach and the Nírnaeth and a “wild and woodland life” and the Second Kinslaying (where some of them went as far as to abandon children in the winter woods to die because they thought it was what their lord/s would want), through isolation and hatred from every other elven group, through the plan to attack a refugee camp—through ALL OF THAT, and THEN they turn on their lords at Sirion??? Why betray your lords NOW? And the people who DID keep following them after that (after kidnapping children!!!), what were they thinking?? — I firmly believe that Maedhros has many escapees from Angband in his service who are ride or die for him and whose morality was somewhat warped by Angband, but what about Maglor’s followers? Caranthir’s? Ambarussa’s? Even Celegorm and Curufin’s?? There’s just SO MUCH potential for story here, I’m dying to read about them!

Noldorin lines of succession: Was It Sexist Or Was It Not: The Eternal Question aka Why Didn’t Idril Become High Queen After Turgon? Also, what does “eldest of the house of Finwë, and not the least wise” even MEAN, Maedhros?? How did Gil-galad come to power? I find it hard to believe he became king immediately after Gondolin fell; was it a wartime power grab? A battlefield promotion? How did the kingship get established in the first place? Why was Finwë chosen to go with Oromë to Aman? Was Maglor ever really king, or did he only rule as a regent for the missing Maedhros? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Gil-galad, Maglor

Origins of Gil-galad: I am always so interested in takes on Gil-galad’s parentage. My favorites are Russingon baby Gil (through trans mpreg or adoption, both are good) and secret peredhel Gil (probably an Aegnor/Andreth baby adopted by Orodreth), but I also love Finduilas Is Gil-galad and honestly, any situation is fascinating here—just convince me! A possible way to explore this is through Outsider POV; some noble or historian trying to figure out just what the heck is up with Gil-galad. His parentage being confusing in-canon is so fun!! Suggested Character(s): Gil-galad, Original Nobility of the Noldor

Maglor's Kingship between Maedhros' capture and rescue: Was Maglor ever really king? Did he give up on Maedhros early on, or did he cling to the hope that he still lived? Did his brothers turn to him for support, or did they connive to take responsibility from him? The rift between the Noldor wasn’t healed until Maedhros’ rescue; did Maglor try to cooperate with Fingolfin, or did he keep his people isolated? Was he relieved when Maedhros came back and took responsibility, or was he resentful to lose his power? How does this situation (and Maglor not going to rescue Maedhros) affect M&M’s relationship later on? Suggested Character(s): Maglor, Original Fëanorian follower(s)..., Curufin, Caranthir

Dwarf-Elf relations in the First Age & Dwarf-kingdoms: Dwarf-friends!!! Yes!!! I love elves and dwarves being buds (or partners if you’d like to go that route!) <3 IIRC, Curufin learned Khuzdul, and I’m sure Celebrimbor did too; Caranthir was supposedly rude to the dwarves, but what if that’s just his (and their!) love language? How did relations between the Sindar and the dwarves sour over time? Maedhros was friends with Azaghâl; how did that relationship begin? How did Finrod’s contract with the dwarves blossom into a real friendship? Eöl was also buddies with the dwarves; did he ever bump into Curufin or Caranthir while at a trade festival or something? And the dwarf kingdoms of the First Age are fascinating on their own, too; what was the political structure like? Did the dwarves bring items from the other side of the mountains into Beleriand? How did the petty-dwarves get exiled? What happened to Nogrod and Belegost in the War of Wrath, and were they ever re-established after the sinking of Beleriand? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Caranthir

Guilds and Noble Houses of Tirion: Give me a Tirion political drama! Finwë trying to appease his lords and craftseldar? Indis integrating into Noldorin society and making connections with the noble houses? Arranged marriage situation between Nolofinwë and Anairë? The younger princes running amok and causing chaos in their elders’ carefully-laid plans and delicately balanced alliances? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Indis, Original Nobility of the Noldor, Curufin, Caranthir, Maglor

Roles and Responsibilities in the Noldorin Royal Family: There were oodles of princes in Valinor. What did they all do? How did they get the followers who came with them to Middle-earth? Were they free to pursue their own crafts, or did they have responsibilities to the common people? How did this change in Middle-earth when suddenly everyone was in danger and had more pressing needs? What is it like being a re-embodied royal in a society that’s adapted to life without you? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Indis, Maglor, Curufin, Caranthir, Gil-galad

Fashion as Political Statement: This is an excuse to request Color Coding Politics. Fëanorian red! Nolofinwëan blue! Findis wearing Aggressively Neutral White! Lalwen in orange? Arafinwë in yellow? Finwë in an amazing technicolor dream-coat...or more likely just red, showing his bias once more? Art of this would be absolutely fantastic. I have lots of headcanons about color politics; feel free to ask me about them if you choose this option. Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Caranthir, Gil-galad, Finwë

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The Silmarillion: Trauma & Religion

War of Wrath: For a war that took so long and had such wide-reaching repercussions, we really don’t have very many details about this. It’s free real estate, basically! I have my favorite characters (Maedhros, Maglor, Elrond, Elros, Gil-galad...) that you could use to explore this time period, but literally anyone who’s alive at this point is fair game. And OCs! What do the Noldor and Vanyar (and Telerin sailors) feel about the War and interacting with the war-weary exiles and Sindar and Men of late-stage Beleriand? What kind of culture shock/culture clash is there? Were re-embodied exiles permitted to return to Middle-earth, or were they barred from going to war again? Suggested Character(s): Original Noldorin Character, Original Vanyarin Character

Trauma after the War of Wrath for elves and humans & Exiles adjusting to life in the Undying Lands post War of Wrath & Dealing with psychological trauma in Valinor: Trauma was commonplace in Beleriand, but not so much in Valinor. What’s it like for exiles who sail West to be in a society that doesn’t know how to support them? Are the Valar having to learn how to deal with the trauma of living elves super quickly, or are they reticent to change? How do the exiles interact with their re-embodied kin? What do the Vanyar and other Amanyar think of these elves who have been so deeply hurt? What kinds of treatises on psychology are penned by scholars with little to no previous experience? What is therapy like in Valinor? Do the exiles get together for support groups since no one else understands them? Or did the trauma of the Darkening and the First Kinslaying wake up the Amanyar and get their act together before then; are the exiles surprised by the structures already in place to support them? And what about Avari who have been dying steadily all this time from accidents and incidents in Middle-earth? If they’ve been re-embodied, how do they engage with the Eldar who have similar traumas? Suggested Character(s): Estë, Finrod, Maeglin, Original Noldorin Character, Original Vanyarin Character, Rúmil, Any Avarin Elf Character(s)

Worship of the Valar and Religion & Avarin religious culture: Do the Vanyar really worship the Valar, or do they seem them as hyper-powerful neighbors? What are priests and priestesses like in a world where the gods walk among you? How does each kindred of the elves interact with the Valar? Are Maiar viewed as equal worshippers/servants or as deities in their own right? Do the Avari even know about or acknowledge the Valar? Do they worship the stars, or simply Eru? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil, Any Avarin Elf Character(s)

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Middle-earth Legendarium: Magic & Spirits

Afterlives: This is pretty vague, but I think it’s referring to the various kinds of afterlife. What are the Halls of Mandos like? What happens to spirits who don’t go to Mandos? Do Men pass through Mandos on the way to Beyond? What happens to Men? Are they reincarnated in the more traditional understanding of the word, do they go to some other realm similar to Arda, are they just endlessly partying it up with Eru? Do dwarves really go to the Halls, or is that just a superstition? And of course, what about orcs? Suggested Character(s): Námo

Fate of orc souls after death: Yeah, really, what about orcs? If the orcs were originally elves twisted into Morgoth’s servants, are their spirits still elven? Are they reborn as they once were, elven despite their life as an orc? What about orcs who are many generations removed from their elvish ancestors? Do they have fëar? Can orcs be rehabilitated? I refuse to accept that all orcs are inherently evil; but what does everyone believe in-universe? Suggested Character(s): Námo, Original Orc Character(s)

Foresight and Prophecy and Doom: I’m honestly not sure if this fanon or canon, but Finarfin and his line having foresight through Indis is a wonderful concept and I’d love an exploration of that. How accurate is foresight? Can fate be circumvented? Are prophecies like the Doom of the Noldor self-fulfilling, or are they warnings about possible futures, or are they curses upon people? If you have a high Doom upon you, does that end with your death, or does it follow you to Mandos and beyond? Suggested Character(s): Námo, Finarfin

Songs and Words of Power: Rap battles with Sauron! ...joking aside, song as magic is just fascinating to me. How does this connect to the Ainulindalë and the Song of the World? The elves named themselves Quendi, the Speakers; how do they view the power of words and their ability to change the world around them? Can music be used as a force of destruction or a weapon (battle bard Maglor)? Can it be used to manipulate someone’s mind (Sauron)? Suggested Character(s): Maglor, Sauron

Stars and Starlight: “All light is sacred to the Eldar...but wood-elves love best the light of the stars.” Okay, sorry for being a Hobbit movie apologist on main, but I do love Tauriel! How do elves view starlight? Is it holy, or are the stars more like their friends and guides? Did the Avari choose to remain in Middle-earth partially because of their love for the stars, which were drowned out by the light of the Trees? How does Eärendil feel about being a star; does he feel blasphemous or holy? What legends and superstitions are there among Avari and Men and others who don’t know the origins of Gil-Estel about the new star in the sky? Suggested Character(s): Morwë, Eärendil

The Unseen Realm: This is the in-between world where Frodo goes when he wears the ring, the world that the Nazgûl in their half-life inhabit. Are Ainur able to slip into this realm at will? Did Gandalf walk invisible in Gondolin? How does Sauron manipulate this realm to his purposes? Is this where elves go if they fade? (I don’t usually like Maglor fading, but it could be an interesting way to explore this...) Suggested Character(s): Námo, Sauron, Nazgûl, Maglor

Magical Artefacts & Magical Communications: Palantíri! Galadriel’s mirror! Ósanwë! All sorts of cool ways to talk with magic. Do the Rings of Power enable long-distance ósanwë? Did the Silmarils contain pieces of Fëanor’s soul? What other marvelous magical creations were there that didn’t make it into the Legendarium we know? Suggested Character(s): Sauron, Maglor, Eärendil

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Middle-earth Legendarium: Politics & Lore

Feudalism between Eldar and Edain: We have Edain entering into the service of Noldorin lords (Bëor and Finrod, Hador and Fingolfin, Amlach and Maedhros) and land being given to Men by elves (or not, in Haleth’s case)...how far did this feudal relationship extend? Were the Edain mostly autonomous or were they very much bound to their elven lords? Were there common elves who paid tribute to Edain lords? Can any relationship between elves and Men truly be equal if this is the way they originated? Fealty kink? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Original Elf Character

Fourth Age Tirion: What’s Tirion like with a bunch of dead people walking around living again, and a bunch of weird legends now imposing in daily life? What’s the first meeting of Rúmil and Pengolodh like—who geeks out over whom? Are the Fëanorians back yet? Is the average elf even really aware of all the nonsense that happened in Middle-earth, or are they extremely unimpressed with King So-and-So of a square of land that’s now underwater trying to cut them in line at the coffee shop? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Relationship between Noldor and Dwarves: See “Dwarf-Elf relations in the First Age & Dwarf-kingdoms” in my Silm request for a starting point...but also, was Elrond’s Last Homely House open to dwarves? How did Galadriel come to respect the dwarves, especially after her Sindar kin grew to hate them? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Timekeeping between the Death of the Two Trees and the Rise of the Sun and Moon: Tolkien’s math drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE. His timelines are contradictory, I get headaches just thinking about the length of elf pregnancy, what does aging mean for an immortal species, WHY ARE TREE YEARS LIKE THAT and WHAT IS A YÉN? Please try and make sense of this for me, I beg of thee. I’m especially interested in the time period between the Death of the Trees and the Rise of the Sun and Moon. Did the Noldor wander the Helcaraxë for 3 years or 30? How long was Maitimo in Angband? Did the Sindar even realize something was different? How did people start calculating Sun years? When was the calendar of the First Age adopted? Who did all this math? Is there an in-universe explanation for these contradictions? Do people fight over math? Do the Ainur experience time the same way the Children do? Did some Noldo genius come up with a timekeeping system that worked with the Moon, only for the Sun to come along and muck it up? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion, Original Elf Character, Fëanor - really any scholarly character, tbh!

Treatment of Angband's Escaped Thralls: Which kinds of escapees choose to go to Himring with Maedhros the Tall, and which choose to go to Gondolin and the House of the Hammer of Wrath? Was Rôg an escapee too? Can Maedhros really tell who’s been turned by the Enemy? Does Thingol have the right of it in turning away thralls from Doriath? (If he even does that, I’m now researching this and I’m not sure it’s actually canon...) What was it like for Maedhros and Gwindor to readjust to elven society? Did Elrond grow up surrounded by Fëanorian followers who escaped Angband, and is that where he learned healing? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Elrond

In-universe authorial bias in historical texts: All of the Legendarium is a history, which means there’s bound to be unreliable narrators. Was Maeglin really as evil as the story says? What gets left out of the narrative? What gets lost in translation? Who lives, who dies, who tells your story? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion

Trade in Middle-earth: What was trade like in First Age Beleriand? What about Second Age trade between Númenor and the mainland? Was Ost-in-Edhil a trade hub? After Sauron returned and traveling became dangerous, what intrepid traders braved the wilds for the sake of goods and money? How was currency developed around the world? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Orcs Surviving the Wars: Again, I don’t believe that all orcs are irredeemably, inherently evil. Were they persecuted and stamped out after the Ring War, or did some escape and adapt to a life without a harsh overlord? What’s orc agriculture like? Would Elrond take a chance on rehabilitating an orc in Rivendell? What if orcs were more complicated all along, and it’s the histories that simplified them to cardboard-cutout villains? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Pengolodh, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

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The Adventure Zone: Balance

My only non-Tolkien request, oops. Don’t think I’m not as interested in this request, though; I’m the only one who nominated for it, so I picked my very favorite concepts and I’d love to see what you do with them!

Angus McDonald’s Grandfather: This guy’s name was lost to time, and he loves silverware, and he has a grandson, and that’s pretty much all we know about him. Was he involved in the Relic Wars somehow? Did his name get eaten by the Voidfish? I imagine he’s a rather eccentric fellow; how much of that did he pass on to Angus? Is he even real, or was Angus lying to Tres Horny Boys about his destination?

Any Wonderland Adventurer(s): I’d love to see what happens to the other people who go to Wonderland before our boys. Do they all die? How many get what they want and get out? Do any of them have weaker moral compasses than THB and agree to advertise for Edward and Lydia? What if Edward or Lydia fell in love with an adventurer and trapped them there? What kinds of things do people sacrifice to the Wheel? We know about the Escape Game and the Healing Game; what about the Recovery Game? How long has Wonderland been around? How has it evolved over time? What was it like before Edward and Lydia got ahold of the Animus Bell? How did they get ahold of it? (Personally I think Barry just gave it to them...but did he have to go through the trials first?)

Differences within species between the Two-Sunned World and Faerun: I love the fanon that Two-Sun elves are juuust a little different from Faerun elves...like Taako’s echolocation, for example. But what if this applies to the other species like gnomes and dwarves and even humans? How are the Seven Birds just a liiiitle off from everyone else around them? Also, Cat Elves. This is an excuse for Two-Sun Cat Elves. GIVE TAAKO A TAIL. (I mean, or not, do what you want, but I’d love to see that, lol.) Suggested Character(s): Any Member(s) of the IPRE, Original Character(s)

Reclaimers before Tres Horny Boys: Who were the other Reclaimers? Who did Lucretia trust to carry out this dangerous mission? How did they all each, inevitably fail? What if Magic Brian was a Reclaimer gone wrong? What was the last straw for Lucretia, the last failure that made her scheme to get her boys back? And the other Reclaimers weren’t officially disbanded right away; how did they feel about the new guys in town, and losing their jobs to these doofuses? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Original Character(s)

The Relic Wars: There were wars about the Relics!!! Wars!! That everyone forgot!! Wars where people that THB knew died!! And then we never get into this in canon! It drives me nuts! I would love to see an exploration of this chaotic time period, what the IPRE did to mitigate the damage, which relics were obvious and terrifying and which were secret and terrifying, etc... I’ve written a bit about Relic War-era Hurloane, but what were the other NPCs doing? (Or Hurley and Sloane too, I’d love to see your take on them too!) When Lucretia wiped everyone’s memories, what was lost? (I suspect Angus’ Grandfather got caught up in that...) How did those missing memories lead people to the Bureau of Balance? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Any Member(s) of the IPRE, Angus McDonald’s Grandfather

The Robot World's crystal post-Story and Song: The IPRE promised to return the Robot World’s crystal if they ever managed to defeat the Hunger...and we know they can plane hop from the casino liveshow...so, did they ever return the crystal? How did that go down? How does the Robot World rebuild itself? And if we’re going into it being the (K)nights Arc’s setting, are there other characters than Troth that we might recognize? Suggested Character(s): Magnus Burnsides, Lucretia, Any Member(s) of the IPRE

Worlds that survived the Hunger: In the worlds where the IPRE found the Light of Creation before the Hunger arrived, what was it like for the people there who had to endure the Hunger’s attack? What was the scope of the destruction? How did they rebuild afterward? Does uniting against a common enemy bring the people of the world together and create more Tesseralia-like societies? How many people knew about the IPRE, and what did they think about them? When they hear the Story and Song, what’s the reaction? If they didn’t know about the IPRE what myths do they create to explain the Hunger? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Original Character(s)

~~~

Alright, that’s the end of my prompts/requests! Thanks for reading this far, and whatever you end up writing for me I am super excited to read it!! And if you have questions or ideas or something, my askbox is open and I have anon messages on, I’d love to talk! Thank you again for creating for me, you are the best! <3

[2ofswords]

Okay! Time to talk about Hanahaki!  Also shoutout to @transdankovsky​ for inviting me to talk about it. I am honestly unsure if you actually wanted a full expression of my thoughts, but I sure as hell will not shut up now! 

Firstly: I really like the trope and I don’t think it’s bad even in its purest form. I think most tropes can be really good, the question is how you apply them and what you want to archive (and btw. I am not calling biases, stereotypes or gross shit tropes. This is more about a narrative system or story hooks. Like Hanahaki! ^^)  I also think playing with these tropes and making variations is really cool! One reason I love Soulmates/Soulbonds (Til that there is a distinction between them “^^) because there is so many different stuff you can do with that and by this point I kind of define Hanahaki more as “Being in love, something something something, flowers, sickness, drama.” (And to be honest, I am even willing to cut the flowers part out at this point and replace it with different interesting symptoms but that miiiiight be going too far.) Which might not be the... well... right definition but letting your trope be flexible and allowing for variation can lead to even more fun results. 

So I obviously love variations! The chronic disease one is actually really really good and shifts the dynamic from a less urgent matter into the possibility of a longer story, slowburn or even psychological analysis with treatment that isn’t only explicitly about the love! It’s amazing, I love it!  I’ve also seen a really good story, where Hanahaki was described as a common illness where you just have it from time to time if you fall in love with someone and then it goes away again. There the drama was more about the sudden severeness of the illness. That concept also allows for some amazing worldbuilding and can give a lot of nuance and wiggle-room to make your scenario exactly how you imagine it! (Shoutout to @shcherbatskayas​, I really liked your “my heart in your hands” fic! ^^) Same goes with the reason for the disease. Personally I like “repressed feelings” better then “unrequited love” but I am also very much a mutual pining sap. Tbh this was how I thought Hanahaki worked at first and I like to stick by that, it amplifies the drama by adding an outside conflict (since there needs to be a reason the love cannot be expressed) and it also forces the sick person to be active and both parties to engage in solving the situation, which is really fun. It also already solves the “forcing the other person to love you back”-problem.

Okay, about the criticism of “forcing the other to love you back”. I think this is really valid and it is a real roadblock if you want to write some angsty lovestory with a happy ending. If the other person gets pressured in the fic because someone else is in mortal peril, that is a problem. But I think this doesn’t mean we have to discard the base trope at all - or even the “forcing” aspect of the trope. There are some cool variations to that too: 1. Making a completely different kind of story. I have seen a tweet of Hanahaki being a really good Horror trope and about making a story, that exploits the disease. That would be really cool as Hanahaki already has some splendid potential for body horror as well as psychological horror.  2. Take the “unrequited” in “unrequited love” really seriously. The other person would love to love you back the same way you do. But they can’t. Because willing romantic love is kind of impossible. Make it really tragic and sad! 3. Add more pressure that creates a focus around the theme of forcing someone. Maybe there is a political need for the character to survive and since people know about the situation there is a fucking different kind of pressure on you now. Maybe it is a person that loves them very much and is begging you to heal them. If the problem is a theme - not lampshaded but very much discussed - it can be very interesting and the emotional arrangement could lead to a really good fic! (Of course this one can also be combined with idea 2 for maximum angst...) 4. If you want to stay true to the core of Hanahaki but still want a more fluffy approach, here is a thought to consider: There are different kinds of love. Maybe there is a different kind of bond that can actually be established with diligence and communication alone and with working towards it seems better to me than just guilttripping the other person. Sure, there is still the manipulative aspect of forcing the other person to engage (and I for example wouldn’t recommend this one together with “enemies to lovers”) but it isn’t forcing some feelings and romantic engagement and can make for a rather interesting conflict. 5. Not to spoil my own fic idea but: Maybe there is the possibility to make the “loving back” part less of a permanent thing and more of a gesture. That is can still count as “loving the other person back” but it needs to be archived through different means than confession or getting together. Something in the lines of a selfless deed. That still kind of forces the other person to act but might not be this creepy and more tragic. I think it would be nice, if some feelings  are established (if not necessarily romantic but this one actually kind of allows pre-established love since  something else needs to happen too and maybe things just get... more extreme) but it can sure as hell also be combined with the different kind of pressure idea or even the “I just can’t do it” variation.

Just some more ideas to consider. ^^  Happy writing everyone! 

[vannahfanfics]

Oh! For the ask game number 12 if it’s not taken yet✨

Aight, fam, time for me to brag on myself lmao! Just kidding, but this should be interesting. 

Number Ten: Colors

This is one of my older piece, a Shikamaru x Temari one, and I still look back on it fondly as a major achievement of when I really first started writing. Those two are such a unique couple to write and I really love the image of the firework colors in Temari’s eyes. Just a nice aesthetic. 

Number Nine: Ghosts

This was the first time I had written a oneshot that wasn’t really romance, but a subdued angsty piece, and it was a refreshing change. Capturing Gintoki and Katsura’s haunted personas was a real challenge and I enjoyed how it came out. 

Number Eight: Sizzling Summer Heat

This one was a shift from the typical “confession” romance piece to one with an established couple and I just like it a lot! Plus, I just really like the intimacy of the two of them I feel came across. Plus, tangerine-banana smoothies sound bomb as fuck, no? 

Number Seven: Stars in Your Eyes

This is probably my favorite Natsu x Lucy piece I’ve done simply because of the imagery. I love everything about the night sky; describing the moon and stars and the light they give off is a pretty regular thing for my stories, and the idea of Natsu thinking Lucy’s eyes are so beautiful they contain the stars themselves is just a notion that makes me soft. :)

Number Six: Peppermint Flare

Writing Law and Nami is fun, period, but this one is high up there for me just because of the dramatic image of Law holding her while she smells like peppermint... Oof... Such a sexy couple. Lord help us. 

Number Five: Life in Every Breath

I wrote two stories on this scenario, but this one out-competes the other just because I think I raised the stakes a lot. I really went raw with the emotion in this one and I think it made for a really gut-wrenching, desperate piece. Plus the title is a line from my favorite movie, so. 

Number Four: Back and Forth

This was the first Law x Nami piece I wrote, originally intending to be a Christmas present for @anubislover but my computer decided to do a thing, so I just released it like any old regular story. It really opened my eyes to how fun writing the couple was and the potential, and it’s risen to be one of my top rarepairs. I just love them so much TT.TT

Number Three: Sleep-Talking

This one is recent, but the premise just has me. It’s so cute and soft and I really liked writing Sabo’s anxieties about revealing his feelings to Koala. I think the scene makes for a great image, too. 

Number Two: 3 A.M. Musings and Cherry Lip Gloss

Hayner is my life, I love him to death and I would absolutely play a Kingdom Hearts spin-off just about the Twilight Town trio. Give this boy a Keyblade, please! Anyway, this one is high up there simply for the fact that it was really fun to write a teenager delirious and in love at 3 a.m. Just a great concept. 

Number One: Between the Lines

Ugh, the angst. I like the other Ace x Nami piece I did too, but I think this one really ramps it up with the longing, the passion, and the overall theme of “we can’t have each other but we’re so helplessly in love it hurts.” I just like it linguistically, too. 

Honorable Mentions: Baby Fever, Hibiscus and Honey, Natural, A Failure of A Valentine’s Day, Call It Destiny, How It Always Will Be, Promises, Poetic

Bonus: Things I haven’t written or haven’t published but am excited to release- 

My pieces for ShikaSaku Week; I had never considered the couple before but now I’m highkey hooked. Some of them I like more than others, but I won’t say more until they’re all posted :3

A Kacchako piece titled Cherry-Orange Blossoms, which is a modern Hanahaki AU. I’m just ready to break some hearts; y’all ain’t ready. I’m also working on a Dekuraka Soulmate AU titled The Quantum Mailbox, where Uraraka finds out he’s her soulmate but he died in a car accident and she has to send letters back in time to basically rewrite history. Hooray for random sparks of inspiration at 2 a.m. 

Finally, a re-write of my most successful piece to date, Daffodils Bloom After Winter. Nothing else has gotten near the response or attention, and I’m hoping the remaster is better than the original. Stay tuned for these! 

[laylainalaska]

Torchwood 1x01-1x08

Since I’ve been posting Torchwood rewatch episode reactions over on DW, I may as well post them here too!

Cut with a readmore because long and also spoilery. No specific S2 spoilers except set off in its own section.

----

1x01: Everything Changes, aka Torchwood is the worst-kept secret in the greater Cardiff metropolitan area. The episode with the infamous date rape via alien aphrodisiac. I have made the deliberate choice to compartmentalize this/pretend it never happened due to TV writers being notoriously terrible with recognizing the real-world implications of fantasy aphrodisiacs and sex magic (there was just a scene like this in The Witcher in 20-fucking-20), and treat it as what it is clearly supposed to be in context -- unethical but basically harmless misuse of an alien artifact -- instead of what it really is. But I recognize that this is a personal choice and I also hate this writing decision and wish they'd picked literally any other way of making this particular point, for the record. Anyway ... the rest of this episode other than the fucking date rape was a lot of fun, though. Torchwood is the worst secret quasi-governmental agency at being secret. THE ACTUAL WORST. I love the team trying to keep straight faces and then giggling when Gwen enters their secret base, and the entire base set is just so fantastically bonkers; I really really love it a lot. There's literally a fountain in the middle of it and, like, random water everywhere?! And a pterodactyl. And the invisible lift, with Gwen's wry comment about how there's nothing to stop random pedestrians from falling down it. It's possibly the most utterly bonkers secret spy base outside of kids' cartoons and I love it. 1x02: Day One, aka Murder By Orgasm. In which the show classes things up with an alien who kills people (men only!) via orgasm. Choices were definitely made in this episode. Many choices. For sure. Owen continues to be a total sleaze because the writers think it's funny. Also, his survival when the sex alien targets him makes absolutely no sense at all. He's literally the only person she left alive, and she's in the throes of sex-energy withdrawal at the time. In short, this was an episode that happened. There were a few cute team bits but really not enough to redeem it. 1x03: Ghost Machine, aka Burn Gorman Is Very Pretty. Not that I am biased. He is so pretty in this episode. SO PRETTY. Also, for a refreshing change, Owen manages not to be creepy and sexist at all in this episode. He's just prickly and kind of sweet. I like this Owen. I want to keep him. This episode overall was really a lot of fun, aside from (or perhaps also including) the most unintentionally hilarious death of a redshirt ever, in which he goes to hug Gwen and she accidentally stabs him with the knife she's holding. But overall it's so great! The Owen arc was my favorite - I love how affected he is by the memory device (the scene where he's clearly having a panic attack and trying to keep control!) and how determined he is to get justice for the murdered girl, only to be essentially brought down by his basic decent nature and inability to kill an old man in cold blood. Owen trying to save the guy's life when he was holding a knife on him thirty seconds earlier breaks me a little bit. Lots of fun team scenes in this one, too. The Splott conversation! ("Estate agents call it Sploe.") 1x04: Cyberwoman, aka CYBERBIKINI! Here again, Choices Were Made, most of them by the costuming department with a side of deeply uncomfortable racial implications on the part of whoever cast the episode. To be fair, maybe they just couldn't afford enough tinfoil to cover CyberLisa entirely, since the budget for this episode was clearly three shoestrings and a potato. I don't know if my favorite part of the low-budget f/x is the way they're clearly splicing in Doctor Who clips for the cyberization process, or the fall of Torchwood One, a giant battle involving hundreds of participants that is represented by Ianto screaming while surrounded by plastic sheeting. Honestly, I really love this episode. It is not good by any stretch of the imagination, but there is something incredibly charming about its sheer commitment to utter batshittery and OTT sobbing over emotional team betrayals, and parts of it were incredibly tense. It has the general feel of a horror film shot by college theater majors. Also someone getting doused in barbecue sauce and fed to a pterodactyl is literally a plot point, and the team basketball game at the beginning is one of my favorite little team moments; it's so cute. Cyberbikini aside and with expectations properly lowered, this was terrific fun. 1x05: Small Worlds, aka Death By Hanahaki Disease. On the whole this episode was not terrible nor was it memorably unpleasant; it was just kind of there. In going back to write about the episodes, I really had trouble remembering what even happened in this one. The concept is really interesting, but the fairies stopped being nearly so creepy once you actually see them in all their low-budget-CGI glory; I think the episode would actually have been better if they'd stayed invisible. The flower petal deaths were really gross. I hadn't realized that, while Gwen (unlike the rest of his team) knows that Jack can die and come back, she didn't actually know before this episode that he's much older than he looks. 1x06: Countrycide, aka Don't Split The Party. WELSH MURDER VILLAGE. I loved this episode. This is the ridonkulous teamy sci-fi horror shenanigans that I'm here for. I mean, I was there with bells on for TEAM CAMPING TRIP and then it just got better and better. Ianto gets to go out in the field for the first time and nearly gets eaten by cannibals! Poor Ianto. His life is the worst. I sort of vaguely knew because of season two that there was Owen/Gwen in the first season, but what really caught me off guard is how much I enjoyed it. I was expecting meaningless sex with a side of skeeve, and I do really hate that she's cheating on her boyfriend and how pushy about it Owen is at first, not to mention outing their kiss to the whole team. But the crazy thing about it is, by the midpoint of the episode they're actually, genuinely very sweet, and by the end of the episode you can see what they're both getting out of the relationship and get the feeling that it's a positive human connection for both of them. Also, the near-kiss and teamwork in the woods was incredibly hot. I really loved (and was also surprised by) how loyal and protective Owen is toward his teammates. We saw it a little bit in the previous episode with his "Don't you touch her!" re: Gwen, but it's abundantly on display here, from Owen repeatedly insisting that they need to go after Tosh and Ianto, to his fury at the guy threatening Tosh, to his captor having to restrain him when they pull the hood off Ianto's head near the end. Love Jack's big-damn-hero entrance to the Murder House, and everyone running around screaming and getting separated and hurt, which is always a good time. Basically I just loved this episode. It needed more hurt/comforty aftermath, though. I might have to write some. 1x07: Greeks Bearing Gifts, aka Tosh Has An Alien Girlfriend. I really loved this episode, on the whole, but it is Made Of Ouch. As well as Tosh's isolation and hurt, there's also that bit where she hears Ianto's thoughts and it's just endless painpainpainpain. I like to think that after this episode, she started getting together with him for drinks occasionally and talking about things. They both need friends so badly. (I do not love Jack's random transphobic comment near the end. From JACK of all people. WHY.) And seeing Tosh's delight and squee when she gets to just geek out about things is so lovely. Tosh is absolutely a person who leaves her teammates notes with little hearts on them. I love her. ♥ (Also, as much as I love Owen personally, I really wish that so much of Tosh's storyline didn't revolve around her hopeless crush on Owen. Toshiko deserved better, in all ways, than what this show gave her.) It's too bad that Gwen and Owen's affair is, on the whole, a rather destructive thing, because they're really happy! They're like the only happy people in Torchwood at this point. It's not a grand love story or anything, but I felt like the sheer joy of that initial rush of infatuation was well conveyed and sweet. Owen's relationship with Tosh in season one is completely baffling to me. He's not only staggeringly oblivious to Tosh being into him, but she's literally the only woman at Torchwood that he doesn't hit on. And yet, it's not that he doesn't like her! He clearly does like her in a friend kind of way and enjoys hanging out with her. The card that Mary was looking at in Tosh's apartment looked handmade to me, so he literally made her a handmade birthday card! And yet, he is blindingly oblivious to her interest and rejects her every time she makes overtures. ... I mean, the meta-reason is probably just that the writers thought it would be funny if the character who always sleeps around doesn't notice the one person who really wants him. But I can't help wondering if the basic issue is that Owen has somehow, without really intending to, classified his relationship with her as basically a sibling-type one. We know from the flashbacks in season two that they both joined Torchwood at about the same time and were both in a very emotionally fragile place when they did, and Jack also has a very quasi-parental sort of vibe with both of them. It makes me wonder if Owen either tried to initiate something early on and was rebuffed because Tosh wasn't really coping well either, or if he met her at a point in his life when he was really not interested in having relationships with anyone and simply classified her mentally in a sort of little-sister category. This actually does fit very well with the sometimes bullying, sometimes playful and sweet, generally sexless way that he relates to her this season, and the way that he clearly does care about her and in fact is very protective at times; he just doesn't view her as a target of romantic interest. Anyway, Tosh was very beautiful this episode, and her alien girlfriend was also quite hot, and I really enjoyed it. 1x08: They Keep Killing Suzie, aka I don't think anything I could come up with is better than the actual title. The scene in which they've accidentally locked themselves in their secret underground base and have to call the cops to let them out is possibly my favorite scene in this entire show. That was GOLD. I also wish the cop lady from this episode had come back. She was great, and her rapport with Jack was really neat. Part of what I want to say about this episode contains massive season two spoilers, so that's set off in a spoiler section at the end. This was a highly entertaining episode with a plot that was total nonsense that falls apart within 0.2 seconds of actually thinking about it. Good emotional stuff, yes! Plot? BONKERS. I mean, Suzie's plan was something like this: 1. Drive someone insane by feeding them Retcon for two years. 2. Kill yourself. 3. ???? 4. Profit! I am just going to headcanon that the team are actually wrong about Suzie planning all of this, and it's mostly an accidental set of circumstances that she took advantage of. I did love the twist of Suzie wanting a deathbed reunion with her dad not because of love, but because she wanted to watch him die because he's terrible. (However, this does completely undermine what was previously given as part of her motivation for getting addicted to the glove, which was trying to save her dad. See above re: plot nonsense.) But the team stuff was fun! Love everyone scrambling to save Gwen, and Owen holding her at the end -- I'm still seeing them through a lens of mostly-platonic more than romantic. The general vibe with the team pulling together vs. Suzie having basically no one in Torchwood to talk to is really interesting; it's hard to say how much of that is the team having gotten closer over the course of the season, and how much of it is just Suzie not really ever bonding with her co-workers the way they bonded with each other. I mean, I do get more of a co-workery vibe off them early on, as opposed to the chosen-family feeling later on, but the closeness is there under the surface; I'm just not really sure if they've realized it yet. But with Suzie, it's hard to say if the closeness ever really was there. They're all damaged in their various ways, but I feel like Suzie might be damaged in a way that simply precluded her ever really being able to let people in, as the others are learning to. Ianto's visible depression at this point in the show is mostly down to Gareth David-Lloyd's acting, but it's so well done -- his flat affect and thousand-yard stare, especially contrasted against his dry, sarcastic humor when he's not miserable (mostly in season two). The other Ianto-related thing I noticed is that the warmer, more bantery rapport between Ianto and Owen in season two is actually present in this episode to some extent, for perhaps the first time ever. In particular, Owen makes him smile at one point by teasing him (the only time Ianto smiles in the last few episodes, I think, up until he's with Jack at the very end), and offers him the first shot at naming the knife in spite of Ianto's artifact names being genuinely terrible - like, trying to include him a little bit, in a way I haven't seen Owen doing with him before. There's a general feeling throughout this episode that Owen has warmed up to him a bit and is actually reaching out a little. And Ianto and Jack are sleeping together now! I don't know when that happened and I wish we'd seen more of the beginnings of it. It's nice to see Ianto smile, though. Season two 1x08-related spoilers: 

Watching this episode after having seen Owen's resurrection glove arc in season two was FASCINATING, especially for the compare/contrast of the way the team reacted to resurrected!Suzie vs. resurrected!Owen; I mean, the fact that she died in the process of betraying them after becoming a serial killer is obviously a large factor here, and they were somewhat wary of Owen too, but there's just so much more ambivalence in how they deal with Suzie, vs. the way that Owen's death and resurrection actually brought the team closer together, and brought Owen closer to all of them.

But the most interesting contrast to me is how Owen and Suzie, as characters, both reacted to the whole idea of having to survive by killing people, with Jack trying (unsuccessfully) to argue Suzie out of allowing Gwen to die, whereas Owen's immediate reaction to finding out that his survival might be killing people (just random people too, not teammates) was to try to sacrifice himself, not just once but multiple times, starting with a fundamentally horrible euthanasia-type death and continuing on to destroy the resurrection glove himself even though it was likely to re-kill him. Why yes, I can turn any episode discussion into an Owen discussion, even an episode he wasn't especially prominent in.

[broken-clover]

Day 7- Hanahaki

Ho-ly shit I am so so late on this. Then again, does anyone even read these things. So despite the initial setback, I have finished! And in hindsight, jesus christ no wonder this took me so long, it’s 3500+ words and I redid it three times. Just something about this prompt, I guess, I dunno. I think for now I’m just gonna work a day behind schedule and try to just double up on an easier day because atm I do not have the energy to do today’s as well. I appreciate your understanding.

Well, onto the fun stuff, today I’m using Axl Low, featuring Sol and Ky as well! Axl is usually a lot of fun since he has a lot of opportunities for angsty stuff but I will admit that writing this actually made me cry a little, so make of that what you will. Oh yeah, and this is X-era/pre-Xrd because cop Ky.

Bonus content warning for vomiting, and I think that should be it but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong

“Watch your head!”

Sol immediately ducked, hearing something whizz past overhead. He wasn’t especially surprised to see a sickle-blade embedded in the tree in front of him. Not that it made him any less annoyed by the sight on it.

“For fuck’s sake, are you trying to kill me?” He stood back up and turned around to give the Brit a good, hard glare. “What the hell are you even doing here?”

“Heh heh...hey, chief.” Axl looked suitably sheepish, still clinging onto the other half of his kusarigama. “Uh, your reflexes are still good?”

The Gear stormed over, clutching the Junkyard Dog with an iron grip. He wasn’t especially happy with the though of being interrupted, especially now when he almost had his head chopped off in the process.

“L-listen, I can explain- !”

Maybe there was a reason, and maybe there wasn’t. In the moment, Sol hadn’t cared. He hadn’t been thinking much at all, really. He simply drew back his hand and punched Axl square in the chest, sending him flying off of his feet and crashing in a tangle of limbs a few feet away.

“Ow…”

“Shit, I-” Whether or not he felt all that bad about it didn’t really matter, he realized that punching someone with the same strength he used to rip open Gears and punch through walls was probably overkill on a regular human. He didn’t need a murder charge, especially on one of the few humans that he found tolerable to be around. “You okay?”

Axl didn’t offer him a reply, though he did slowly untangle himself and sit up, so at least he was definitely alive. He had an odd look on his face, though, and before Sol could ask, he was dry-heaving and scrabbling off towards the nearest bush.

“Dammit.” Sol followed behind at a distance. “I didn’t break anything, did I?”

The only response he got was a wet gag. It was enough of a reply for the time being, and he certainly didn’t want to bother Axl in the middle of that. When the retching finally quieted down, he let himself approach and offer a small pat in the back. “You okay?”

“Nggh- ow, ow-” Axl flopped back on the grass, rubbing the sore spot on his chest. “Jeez, I just know that’s gonna look ugly in the morning.”

“What made you think it was a good idea to sneak up on me?” Sol noticed something peculiar. “And what’s with the flowers?”

Along with the slime that still ran down the corner of his mouth, several little blue blossoms dotted his clothing. It hadn’t been a flowering bush, and he was pretty sure Axl hadn’t had them when he’d first shown up.

The man in question looked no less confused. “That’s what I was trying to find ya for, actually. I-” He paused to cough, and to Sol’s surprise, another small handful of the same blue flowers scattered out onto the dirt, soaked in spit. “I’ve been coughing up these damn things for two days now, and I can’t get them to stop.”

“Why ask me?”

“You’re a smart guy, you know a lot of stuff.” Axl gave him a shaky smile. “Besides, if it’s some weird Gear disease, I wanna know ahead of time before my eyes go red and I start shooting lasers.”

Sol rolled his eyes, hauling the man up to his feet. “Well, you can still crack a joke, so you can’t be that injured.”

“Stop right there!”

Axl stiffened in shock, while the Gear simply groaned at the familiar tone. “Should have known you’d show up at some point, pretty-boy.”

Ky already had a tight grip on the Thunderseal by the time he was visible. Thankfully, he kept it sheathed for the time being, but Axl could see faint blue sparks twinkling on the man’s gloved hand.

“What are you doing here?” The officer asked. “Why are you both here?”

“Tch. Well, I was trying to get the hell out of here.” Sol jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “But this idiot showed up and got in my way.”

At that, Ky leveled an icy glare at Axl. “So, care to explain why you’re here, then?”

“Needed help.” He’d hoped that the fewer words would make it easier to avoid another incident, but he felt something itching in the back of his throat. Before he knew it, he was shaking from another coughing fit, with more wet, slimy flowers coming up with it.

“What on earth…?” Ky’s stern expression faded. “Sol, what is the meaning of this?”

“You’re asking me.” He replied, giving Axl a thump on the back to help clear out some of the flowers. “He won’t stop puking them up.”

“WHAT?!” The officer dropped his hold on his sword to try and pull Axl to his feet. “What are you just standing around, Sol?! Did it never occur to you to find some sort of medical professional?”

“The fuck?” So scowled. “You know some back-alley witch doing dark magic?”

Ky flashed an impish smile. “No, but I know Dr. Faust has been spotted downtown today, and he seems to be the go-to for this kind of problem. Come along now, sir…”

“We’re going to him?” The feeling of the world spinning as he stood up made Axl gag again. “Don’t suppose I could get a second opinion?”

++++++

“Hmm. Well, there’s no other way to say this. There’s a plant in your lungs.”

“Revelation of the century.” Sol tried to pull out a cigarette and light it, only for Faust to immediately pluck it out of his fingers. “Hey!”

“No smoking in my office.” It was really more of a dilapidated warehouse, but Faust had still set up a nice little arrangement in it. “Based on the scan I took, it appears that the roots have settled into the pleura and have branched out into your lungs. Based on the symptoms I’ve seen, it appears that you’ve contracted Hanahaki Disease, Mr. Low.”

“Hanahaki Disease?” Ky asked, the confusion thick in his voice. “I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s a magic-based disease, as far as I know. Though it’s not well researched.” Faust sat down in his chair, tapping his fingers. “It’s theorized that the source is some kind of desire that can’t be fulfilled. It’s most commonly interpreted as one-sided love, though some say it can also apply places that you can’t go back to, or things that no longer exist. I suppose it makes sense, given the flowers you keep coughing up.” He held up one of them. “Forget-me-nots.”

“Well, that’s not hard to guess.” Sol’s expression didn’t change. “You want to go home, don’t you?”

“Of- of course I do!” Axl had to pause to spit up a few more small blossoms. “Wait a minute, ‘unrequited?’”

“That’s most common, yes.”

His face fell. “B-but- but Megumi, she-” with a strangled noise, he buried his head in his hands. “S-she can’t have forgotten about me…”

“It’s possible that with so much time spent away from your era, her feelings have waned.”

“So what sort of treatment is available for a condition like this?” Ky inquired. “How can the plant be removed?”

“That’s not something I’m sure of right now.” The doctor said. “I’m afraid since information is so scarce, I’d need to draft a plan by myself. You don’t need to stay here, I should be able to work with just the scan.”

Axl still looked downtrodden. “But if it’s tied to my memories of home, won’t it just grow back if you take it out?”

Faust sighed. “I’ll admit, I’m not sure. But it can’t stay where it is. You could choke on those flowers. And I fear the sort of damage all that coughing could do to your throat. I’ll try and figure out a way to remove it from you, surgically or not, but for now, there’s not much I can offer in terms of help.”

They were barely able to step out of the building before Axl pitched over again to vomit up more bloodstained flowers. Sol merely gave him a pat on the back with a warm hand, while Ky stood behind awkwardly. When it finally subsided, Axl didn’t get up.

“What am I gonna do…?” He was always the optimist, or at least tried to be. But what was there to be optimistic about here? The concept of going home in the first place was nigh-impossible, Megumi had probably moved on without him, and even Faust had no idea how to get rid of the plant.

“I’m sure there’s something.” Of the three of them, Ky seemed to be the only one that had any energy to him. “There’s a solution, we just need to find it!”

“What can I do? I can’t go home, I don’t know if Faust can take this thing out, and for all I know, Megumi doesn’t care about me anymore!”

The other man faltered slightly. “I-I’m sure Faust will be able to fix it. Getting worked up is just going to tire you out. Maybe you should go home and rest? Where are you staying?”

“Nowhere.” Sol dragged Axl to his feet, though neither of them looked especially happy about it. “Wherever I can afford.”

Got a small place over on Brooke.” The Gear shrugged. “Y’can crash there, I guess. Not like I’m using it much.”

For a moment, Axl actually perked up. “Really? Thanks, chief, that...that actually means a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, let’s just get you home before people start staring.”

++++++

A gloved hand reached up to deliver a hard knock on the door. “Sol? Are you home?”

“Yeah, come in.”

“My hands are full, can you open it for me?”

He tried not to roll his eyes as the irritated grumbles that the barrier muffled. The door swung open, revealing a less-than-pleased Sol. “Hope you were planning on sharing that.”

“Well, I can’t exactly eat a whole gratin myself, can I? I brought it to share.” Spotting a small, rickety table in the corner, Ky stepped inside and deposited the dish onto it, along with the heavy satchel he’d been carrying. “Has he been eating?”

“Barely leaves his room. Haven’t seen him eat anything today, at least.”

“I told him to stop doing that.” He shook his head in dismay. There were two doors on the opposite end of the small living space. Ky approached the closed one and knocked on it. “Are you awake?”

“Mphh.” The noise was unintelligible even before being muffled by blankets and the door.

“I’ve brought some things for you. Would you like to come out and eat something?”

“...okay.”

When the door opened, Ky had to force himself to not immediately look concerned. Axl was haggard and bedraggled, looking like he’d just peeled himself out of bed, but the dark circles around his eyes said he hadn’t been getting any real rest out of it. A few blue petals still clung to the front of him, which he brushed off.

“G’morning, sleeping beauty.” Sol half-nodded, not getting up from his spot on the couch. “Get any sleep last night?”

“What do you think?” Ky winced at how hoarse the response was. “Up all night trying not to choke.”

The officer started spooning out some food for everyone. “So, not feeling any better?”

“Take a wild guess.” Replied Axl, picking off the last of the flowers. “Can barely get any sleep, can barely keep anything down.”

“Well, might as well try to eat something, anyway.” Ky offered him a plate. “At the least, it might help distract you for a bit.”

He looked unconvinced, but Axl still took what the food. As soon as he took the first tentative taste of it, he began wolfing it down like a starving animal. Ky smiled. “I guess it’s good then, huh?”

“F-fuck, can’t remember the last time I’ve had something like that.” It took him a significant amount of effort just to pull himself away from it to speak, and Axl immediately went back to gorging himself on the food. “You made this yourself?”

“That’s right.” The officer looked pleased with himself. “One of my mother’s old recipes. Macaroni gratin makes for an excellent comfort food.”

“Shit, you’re telling me! Nice to eat something warm, too. I dunno what it is, I just feel cold all the time, no matter what I do.”

Sol quirked an eyebrow. “Y’know you could have just asked me, right?” He placed a hand on the other’s back, leaving small trails of heat as he dragged his fingers across trembling shoulders.

Though Axl leaned into his touch, he still looked perturbed. “You don’t usually act like this, chief…” He smiled anxiously. “What, am I finally gonna die?”

Ky glanced off uncomfortably. “Well, not that. But I do also have an update from Faust.”

“What? So what’s Dr. Baldy got to say?”

“It’s safe to do the surgery, he said, and it shouldn’t grow back again.”

Just like that, Axl was out of his chair, looking more energetic than he had in days. “Well, then what’re we waiting for? L-let’s go-!”

Sol pulled a bucket out from underneath the coffee table, shoving it in place before the ensuing wave of flowers and half-digested macaroni could make a mess on the floor. He pulled Axl back onto the couch, kneading more warmth into his back.

“That’s not all there is to it, though.” Ky’s expression went grim. “According to historical accounts of the disease, if the plant is removed forcefully, it will also remove all emotional connections to the source of it, as well as the memories regarding it. Faust himself said that he couldn’t guarantee the results, but there’s a chance that-”

“-I could forget everything about home?” And just like that, all the hope and light in his eyes vanished. His shoulders sagged, dirty blonde hair drooping down to his lap. “No. No, I can’t do that.”

“Axl, please, I beg you to consider it.” Ky pleaded. “I know the circumstances are unfavorable, but it’s the only possibility you have to recover from this.”

The room went quiet once more. It hit a point where Ky wasn’t sure if he’d even been heard in the first place, and he wondered if he needed to say it again.

“...Then I won’t.”

“You’re being an idiot.” Surprisingly, Sol managed to beat Ky to the punch. “Why would you choose to do this?”

Axl reared up to glare at him. “If I left everything I had of home behind, what would I even be left with? I’m broke and homeless half the time, hoping to go home was all I had left!”

Ky sprang out of his chair, not caring about the mess being made as his plate hit the floor. “That doesn’t mean you should throw away any hope for the future! We could help you find someplace to be in this world, give you a new life to live! I’m sure there’s a place you can belong.”

“You don’t get it!” The man snapped. “I wouldn’t just be losing parts of me, I’d be losing almost everything! Would I remember how to function? Would I remember anything important?? I-” Axl sighed, making a few quiet coughs. “You two are the only ones that care about me in this stupid fucking world. ‘n even then, I can’t say that for sure. Maybe you’re just being nice to me because you know I’m fucked. It’s better than nothing.”

The officer reached out to him. “Please, you don’t have to-”

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

With how quickly and suddenly he stood up, neither Sol nor Ky could stop Axl before he ran off to the bathroom, dry heaving all the way. By the time they were capable of running after him, the door slammed shut, with the lock clicking immediately after.

“Dammit, open the door!” Sol banged a fist against it, making the wood creak.

Ky reached for the knob, only to flinch back with a cry as the metal turned hot and began to shift. “Is he melting the handle?!”

“Axl, stop acting like a stupid kid!”

No reply. All they could make out was the sound of vomiting, soon accompanied by weak sobs. Ky let his hand rest on the door, though he didn’t try to open it again.

“Why would he be so insistent? Why would someone choose to die if they had another choice?”

Sol’s expression was hard to read. “Just not something you can understand, kid. The crusades might have been hell, but at least there was something to go back to in the end. Some people value memories more than others. If that’s all he’s got, why would he want to give it up?”

It was an unusually poetic sentiment, especially from someone like Sol. Ultimately, all Ky could do was shake his head. “This isn’t a decision I can make for him. I don’t have to like it, but I suppose I can’t force him to reconsider.”

“Never thought I’d hear that from you of all people, boy-scout.”

He wanted to be mad, but that required an energy that he no longer had. The muffled gagging started again in the sealed room.

“Still, I don’t feel like I can just give up. How can I walk away from this?”

After a moment of thought, an idea came to him. Ky stepped off, back towards the table with the rest of the food and the heavy bag. Grabbing the latter, he brought it back with him.

He gave the door another soft knock. “Axl? Can you hear me alright?”

The retching had gone quiet. “Don’t you have somewhere better to be? Why are you still here?”

Ky settled back down next to the door. “Because nobody deserves to suffer alone.”

He pulled out a book from his satchel, thumbing through until he found something. “Have you ever read Chaucer?”

“No.”

“Is it alright if I read a poem? I know some people find his work a bit dry, but I feel like being stuck in that bathroom will get very boring.”

“Y-you…” Something shuffled behind the door. “You’re just trying to get me to come out, aren’t you?”

“Not at all.” Replied Ky. “I just want to give you a bit of company.”

“...Is chief still there, too?”

“Yeah, blondie, I’m here.” Sol let himself sit down as well, rapping his knuckles against the wall. “Need some kinda proof?”

“Ok. Ok, fine. Read your poetry, or whatever. I can’t stop you.”

Ky smiled. “Your two great eyes will slay me suddenly…”

His tone was clear and strong as he read from the book, gesturing with his free hand at certain words. The apartment was quiet, aside from Ky’s poetry and the occasional round of coughing. Those were the only times when his voice faltered, sometimes going quiet until the noise eased up before starting where he had left off.

At some point, Sol had rolled his eyes and made enough quips about the flowery language that Ky had threatened to throw the book at his head. Sol had simply offered better stories, and barely waited for a reply before launching into his own tales, involving bounty hunts and incidents that had resulted in him getting chased out of towns by angry mobs. At one point, they could hear faint laughter from the other end, the first time Axl had done so in a long time, and the only noise he’d made aside from coughing.

The fits of noise grew more frequent, until it interrupted each story several times. There was a point where neither man paused speaking when they heard it. They simply kept going, passing songs and poems and anecdotes underneath the door for hours upon hours.

Eventually, the sun was far beyond the horizon, and the noise had faded. They’d continued to talk, until Ky trailed off halfway through an elegy.

“Axl?”

When no sound came, the man’s expression slipped into something solemn. He stood back up, joints cracking from the lack of movement. A hand rested on what had once been the doorknob.

He sent a look to his companion. “Can you help me with this, please?”

Sol ripped off the malformed hunk of metal, and the door swung open easily after that. Axl was sprawled out motionless on the floor, surrounded by bloody flower petals. Ky bit back a noise, instead merely kneeling down and feeling the man’s neck.

“Dead. But still warm. If it’s a rare disease, I wonder if Faust…”

In a way, Sol didn’t even look shaken. But his expression was strained, in a way that only Ky knew how to recognize from knowing him so long.

“...No.” Ky shook his head. “The government offers funeral services for those who can’t afford it. I’m sure something nice can be provided for him.”

“Kid.” Sol’s tone was a low, dangerous rumble. “Shut up.”

“I’m sorry, Sol. You knew him better than I did, I can’t imagine how you feel.”

“I said shut up.” He nudged a handful of petals with the toe of his boot. “Why are these ones different?”

“What?”

The flowers were scattered all over the floor, in piles and in heaps. But closer to the center of the room, near where Axl had been, the flowers began to change. Rather than the small, blue flowers, they had become larger, alternating in colors of red-orange and off-white with violet streaks.

“Huh? Hold on a moment, I know these.” Ky reached across the floor, picking up one of the mangled white flowers. “My mother used to grow these. The white ones are gladiolus. ‘Sword lilies.’ And the red ones, I think she used to call them fire...lilies…”

A dawning realization glimmered in his eyes. “Are these….because of us?”

“So it wasn’t all that useless, then.”

Ky couldn’t bring himself to chastise him. “Yeah, I- I guess it wasn’t, was it?”

And yet, it didn't make either of them feel any better.

[believingbrook]

taakitz hanahaki, 2

warnings/tags for fic series: terminal illness, angst with a happy ending (yes he’ll be fine), grief. please don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with these concepts, take care of yourself!

“How do you not have cumin?”

“I’m a bachelor, Taako!”

“That’s not an excuse to keep a pathetic pantry!”

“Pathetic — ” Kravitz sputters, but Taako raps his knuckles with a wooden spoon and points the butt toward the door, not bothering to look over the bowl of spices he’s crafting.

“You. Cumin.”

“It’s cold outside.”

Taako snorts. “You’re a big boy, and also freezing eighty percent of the time. It’ll hardly register.” He uncaps the cinnamon, sprinkles in a liberal dose. “Besides, the corner store is a two-minute walk. Make yourself useful.”

Grinning, Kravitz obliges, shrugs on a coat and a scarf and his boots and complains the whole way out the door. He shuts it behind him with a parting jab about how he’s going to get hypothermia and die and Taako’s resulting snort.

It is indeed a six-minute excursion to buy cumin. When he returns, purchased goods in hand, he passes them to Taako, the top of Taako’s braid brushing beneath his chin. He’s a good head taller than Taako and always thought that, if he were to kiss him, his hands would nestle perfectly in the small of Taako’s back.

“I realize, in retrospect, that sending someone out to get ingredients when they’ve got, uh, pneumonia, is — that’s probably a bad look.”

Kravitz blinks, then waves an airy hand through the air. “Like you said. I’m a big boy.”

“Yeah,” Taako says, as close to an apology as Kravitz is going to get. “Like I said. Hey, preheat the oven, will you? 350.”

Kravitz obliges. “Celsius or Fahrenheit?”

He laughs as Taako swats at him with the spoon again, dancing out of Taako’s reach with his tongue stuck out. “Disgusting,” Taako mutters, and sticks out his tongue to match.

Kravitz settles himself in his armchair, flipping idly through an old tome while Taako cooks. It’s a pleasant backdrop while he absorbs this new story (and yes, it’s one of those trashy romance novels that Taako hates but Kravitz refuses to abandon), the sizzling and splashing and decadent aroma wafting through their apartment.

Finally Taako clanks whatever he’s prepared into the oven — Kravitz isn’t even totally sure what, exactly, Taako is making, except that his kitchen smells faintly of garlic and he’d tugged two breasts of chicken out of Kravitz’s freezer, jabbing him on how he couldn’t even freeze chicken right, because he’d stored them too close to the icebox — and slumps onto the sofa with a huff.

That’s Taako’s corner of the sofa, or at least Kravitz thinks of it that way; it’s where he always sits, and in his more fanciful moments Kravitz can make out a Taako-shaped dip in the mattress. As is his custom Taako gathers all the pillows and blankets within reach and shuffles them over his lap, laying his head dramatically on the armrest.

“Hey, uh, your sister back this weekend?’

“Yeah.” Kravitz sets his book aside. Taako and Raven got along fine in the beginning, but since — well, since Kravitz’s affliction, she’s turned colder toward him. He jokes that she hates anyone who isn’t goth, and Taako ribs him about adoring Gerard Way and the t-shirts emblazoned with Amy Lee’s face still hanging in his closet, and they don’t talk about it. “Just in time for the party.”

“Natch.” Taako sprawls along the couch cushions, head resting on one crooked elbow. His hair spills in a golden weave over the threads of Kravitz’s couch and for one impulsive moment Kravitz wants to reach out, thread his fingers through that hair, find out how soft it really is.

“She saved my life, you know,” Kravitz says.

“Huh?”

“Raven. When we were kids.” He hadn’t meant to say that, hadn’t truly thought it out, but Kravitz hates that his sister and Taako don’t get along. That they don’t get along because of him. Out of everyone in their little family, Taako and Raven’s icy relationship is surpassed only by his and Lucretia’s. “I used to love swimming.”

“I could deffo get behind you in Spandex.”

Kravitz’s heart clenches. “I was eleven, Taako.”

Taako rolls over, quirks an eyebrow at him upside-down. “When’s the last time you went swimming, Krav?”

“Thirteen years ago.”

There’s a pause as Taako does the math. His eyes widen briefly, before narrowing again. Kravitz clears his throat. “I jumped in the river because there was something shiny at the bottom. And I was pretty good at swimming — this was back when I was a kid, and Raven was just a teenager, she took me to the river sometimes because she knew I loved it.” Kravitz drums his fingers against his thigh. “There was a current beneath the river. I almost drowned, but Raven — she pulled me out.”

Taako studies him. “Touching,” he says dryly. “Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s been ten years,” Kravitz says. “There’s little you don’t know about me already.” Kravitz stills his anxious hands. “Also I know you don’t like my sister and I hate it.”

“Shit, me too.” Taako looks toward the ceiling and crosses his legs. “We got along just fine until junior year, then she got all weird.”

Kravitz bites his lip. “Yeah, I know.”

There’s silence for a beat, then Taako rolls his head toward Kravitz and sits up. “Kravitz,” he says dangerously.

“What?”

“Give me that.”

He’s looking at Kravitz’s book. He snatches it up and holds it to his chest. “No.”

“Do not make me come over there and get it, Kravitz.”

“You’re gonna make fun of it!”

“Oh you know I am,” Taako says, hefting himself to his feet. He perches on one arm of the sofa and stares Kravitz down. “Hand it over, I just wanna read the back.”

Kravitz holds it tighter to his chest. “Don’t you have cooking to be doing?”

Taako snatches for it, but Kravitz twists out of the way. “It’s in the oven, bubbeleh, it’s not my problem for at least another fifteen minutes. Plenty of time to do some investigating.” He shuffles onto Kravitz’s lap and grabs again, but Kravitz holds the book tighter.

“This is awfully rude, Taako.”

Taako grins a sharp shark’s grin. “That’s me,” he says, pleased, and digs his fingers into Kravitz’s sides. “Rude and uncivilized.”

Kravitz lets out an extremely undignified squeak. “Oh come on — !” Kravitz snickers, trying to squirm away from Taako’s fingers and failing. “This isn’t fair, we aren’t fifteen — ha — oh come on, this isn’t fair — ”

He breaks away to snort, curling in on himself in a last-ditch defensive attempt. “Oh no you don’t,” Taako says, and even though Kravitz is currently occupied resisting the urge to throw Taako off his lap (he could and they both know it — Taako never was athletic, ‘too much effort’), he can hear the smile in Taako’s voice. “C’mon, Bones, I just wanna read it — ”

“You’re gonna make fun of me!”

“Perish the thought,” Taako says, and finds a sensitive spot along Kravitz’s sides and digs his fingers in. Kravitz rears backward, trying to wriggle away, but Taako snatches the book from his hands.

Kravitz laughs breathlessly, recomposing himself. The air brushes along the petals in his throat and he coughs once, twice, before clearing his throat and declaring, “I hate you.”

“You could never,” Taako says smugly, still perched atop Kravitz’s knees.

“I hate that my tickle spots are the same after ten years,” Kravitz grumbles, burying his face in Taako’s chest. “I’m an adult now, those shouldn’t still work!”

“Not how biology works, homeslice,” Taako says absently, pinching Kravitz’s nose with the hand not occupied holding the back cover in front of his face. Kravitz shakes his head to dislodge Taako’s fingers, smacks Taako’s hand away. “Oh my god, Kravitz.”

Kravitz groans, low and defeated.

“This is awful. This is awful, how do you — a horse? Why is this — is this a gay cowboy story?” Taako tucks two fingers beneath his chin and tugs his face up, brandishing the book at him with the other. “Are you reading a — a fuckin’ homosexual Western?”

“It’s a good genre,” Kravitz defends, blushing furiously. He snatches for the book, but Taako dances out of the way. He’s always been faster than Kravitz. “I don’t need you critiquing my taste in literature.”

“Listen — okay, no, first of all, you definitely do, because this is unacceptable and second, literature? This cannot be called literature, Kravitz! Literature has the word “lit” in and therefore by default cannot be applied to anything you read!”

“I’ve read the draft of your cookbook.”

Taako freezes, then hits him lightly in the chest with his own book. “Take your trash back,” he sulks. “Can’t sully my hands with it anymore.”

“You know I’m right, Taako!”

“I will confess to no such thing.”

“You don’t need to,” Kravitz sing-songs, leaning forward, bracing his elbows on Taako’s knees. “I already know everything I need to.”

Taako stares him dead in the eyes, then pokes his nose. “False. I — I don’t have anything better than false, and also fuck you.”

Kravitz goes to lick his finger and Taako yanks it back, retching. “You’re disgusting!”

“Learned it from Lup,” Kravitz shrugs, grinning unabashedly up at him. “Your sister, your fault.”

“No, that’s not even — you are so far off,” Taako says, disentangling himself from Kravitz’s lap and going to check on the kitchen. “By that logic that means you also gotta blame me for trying to set you up with Barold during freshman year and I want no part of that.”

“I think that worked out for Lup in the end, though,” Kravitz says, standing and stretching. “Chicken done?”

“Almost,” Taako says, putting the oven mitts back. It’d taken Kravitz four years to drill organization into Taako’s head — in this flat everything has a place and will be returned there, thank you. “Five minutes or so.”

“How long until people arrive?”

“You have a clock on your wrist.”

Kravitz sprawls out over the couch and grins cheekily at him. “Too far away.”

“You’re awful,” Taako says, rolling his eyes where Kravitz can see him. “We’ve got half an hour.”

“Cool.” He sits back, studies the ceiling, then picks his head up again. “Hey, could you grab Angus’s present? It’s in my closet.”

“Are you trying to put me back in the closet?”

“And you say my gay jokes are awful.”

Taako pauses, considering. “Okay, yeah, that one was pretty bad. What will you give me in return?”

Kravitz shrugs. “My undying love and affection?”

Taako snorts. “Disgusting,” he says, but tromps obligingly into Kravitz’s room. “Your room’s a mess!”

“Is not!”

“Your bed isn’t made, and there’s dust on the windowsill!”

Kravitz rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry I don’t dust my bedroom often enough for your tastes!”

He hears a muttered “you should be,” then silence. Kravitz closes his eyes, the delicious scent of garlic and rosemary wafting around the kitchen, and waits for Taako’s returning footsteps.

They return, far slower than they should. Kravitz sits up, and when he looks toward the entryway, Taako is carrying a jar of rose petals.

Ice chills in Kravitz’s veins.

“Taako?”

Taako doesn’t say anything as he crosses the room. Kravitz stiffens, scoots over to make room, and Taako sits, face eerily blank. This time, Taako doesn’t bother with his nest of blankets.

“What are these?”

“Petals,” Kravitz says, and in an attempt at lightheartedness says “I’d have thought you’d know that, Taako, your father is a gardener — ”

“Kravitz.”

Kravitz’s heart plummets to his stomach. Taako looks at him and Kravitz can’t hold his gaze, so he looks away, looks to the table still scuffed with bootprints from Taako’s uncaring kicked-up legs.

“Why do you keep them?”

His voice is perfectly even. Taako’s voice is never even. “I like them,” he shrugs. “I know that sounds, uh, fucked up, but — they remind me what I’m — ” He swallows, cuts himself off. “Are you angry?”

Taako ignores his last question. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up,” he says. He sets the jar on the table, lips pressed firmly together, eyes still shadowed with something Kravitz can’t quite understand. “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Kravitz.”

“Taako, you still know me.”

“He’s a lucky guy.” This time, he’s the one who won’t meet Kravitz’s gaze. “Whoever he is.”

Kravitz blinks. “Taako, it isn’t — it isn’t some guy, it’s — ”

“Don’t.”

“Taako— ”

Taako’s voice is harsh with warning. “Don’t, Kravitz.”

Taako sits up, shoulders tense and gaze fixed rigid on the unlit fireplace in the wall. His jaw is locked tight and Kravitz feels like he can’t breathe and for once, it isn’t the damned garden coating his windpipe.

“Okay,” Kravitz says softly. “Okay, I won’t. Are you all right?”

Taako barks out a laugh, hands fisting in his jeans. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

It doesn’t sound like a compliment.

“I’ve been told,” Kravitz murmurs. He looks toward the fireplace as well. “The chicken’s probably done.”

Taako blinks. “Right,” he says, and stands. “Right. Yeah, it probably is.”

He stands. Kravitz hears the oven door open, shut, metal clanking against metal. There’s a beep of an interior thermometer; a pause, then the rhythmic sound of chopping.

Kravitz’s chest is tight now, too, something uncomfortably heavy pressing on his sternum. This is why he hadn’t said anything. He knew this was going to happen, knew that when Taako found out he would get scared, and he would leave.

Kravitz wants to run, badly. Wants to flee his own flat, take refuge with Hurley and Sloane. Maybe call Julia and see if her dining room table has room for one more, if she’s got tea steeping.

But too many people have left Taako already and if Kravitz leaves now he’ll smash the last of the wooden slats he hasn’t already burned. Instead he forces himself to stand, walk over to his own counter. He — he needs Taako to know this, at least.

“This isn’t your fault, Taako.”

His back is turned toward Kravitz and it stiffens at the words. There’s a pause in the rhythm of his chopping and it lulls, just for a moment; then Taako says, with a voice so unaffected Kravitz startles to hear it, “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, my man.”

His heart drops. “Ah,” Kravitz says. In the end, he tells himself, it’s better than it could be — he could have lost Taako entirely. He can keep pretending nothing’s wrong. He — he wouldn’t mind.

Inside his throat, the roses bloom, stretching their petals a bit farther. The prickling feeling of seeds taking root trickles farther up his windpipe and he fights the urge to retch, balling a fist against his mouth and blinking back involuntary tears.

“I think Lup bought Ango trick candles,” Taako says after a while. He slides the diced carrots off the chopping board, drops them in the bowl with a brisk flick of his wrist. “I don’t even think — don’t think she needs them, to be honest. She could just relight ‘em as soon as they go out.”

“He’d realize though,” Kravitz says carefully. “He’s very intelligent.”

“He’ll figure out they’re trick candles pretty fast too,” Taako says sharply. “But yeah. Don’t freak when they keep burning.”

“I won’t.”

Taako hums absently. His back is still turned. He pulls three full tomatoes out of his bag and sets about slicing those. “How long do we have?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Cool cool.”

“Do you need help?”

Taako snorts. “Not from you, my man.”

Kravitz bites his lip. He doesn’t know what to say, and that’s what gets him more than anything else — he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never had to dance around Taako. The sort of easy honesty that grew between them was present from the very start, and Kravitz has uprooted it. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to smooth things out into the easy camaraderie of before.

“Still got Magnus’s ducks?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz says. “Those were in the closet, too. Did you — did you grab Angus’s — ”

“Nah, got a little sidetracked.” Taako brushes a lock of hair out of his face with one shoulder. “Just be warned, I think he’s bringing some more. Takes every chance he can get to, uh, fuckin’ frisbee them at people he knows.”

“I’ll clear more space then,” Kravitz says, and leaves.

He means to grab the present and head back to the kitchen, he really does; but alone, the full weight of Taako’s stubborn denial weighs on him and he sinks to his knees on the patchwork carpet of his closet. He fights to keep his breathing even, he can’t afford to cry because then he’ll start coughing, and that —

He retches. One hand flies to his mouth and the other scrambles for the closet door, pulling it shut. The light spilling in from his bedroom ceases, leaving him in the dark, and Kravitz struggles to keep his coughs as quiet as possible.

It’s different now, this — the petals he’s coughing up seem larger, fuller somehow, and Kravitz’s eyes sting. Gods, he doesn’t want to deal with anyone right now, doesn’t want to deal with Taako. He hopes he’s not audible from the kitchen.

After several minutes the fit passes and Kravitz, now able to breathe easier, slumps back against the wall. He stares into the darkness, the faint halo of light around his door, and buries his head in his hands. Crying is out of the question, he’s too drained — he couldn’t muster tears even if he wanted them — so he dashes a hand across his eyes, his lips, reaching shakily for the water bottle Raven keeps tucked in the back corner. He unscrews it, hands still trembling, and takes a large drink to calm himself.

Kravitz counts thirty seconds, slumped against the wall, hands shaking where he’s folded them in his lap, eyes closed despite the darkness around him. Then he shuts the water bottle, replaces it, and opens the closet door, present in hand.

Scattered around him are full roses’ heads.

Kravitz doesn’t breathe, for several moments. Nothing blocking his windpipe; just shock.

It can get worse, he knows. Progress from petals to full flowers, when love is unrequited. This is what most experts call the point of no return; he probably couldn’t get surgery now, even if he wanted.

His only thought is how upset Raven will be. He hates when she worries.

He kneels, touches the head of one gently. There are at least ten, a dozen petals on each head, and scattered around him are no less than six. He thinks, I’m going to need a larger jar.

For now the smaller ones will have to do. He uncaps one — he and Raven keep them on the top shelf — and shovels them in, careful to leave their heads undamaged. He looks to the windowsill where he kept his jars, looks toward the kitchen where he can hear Taako still chopping, rhythm undaunted, then places this new jar on the sill.

“Find it?” Taako asks, when Kravitz reenters the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Kravitz rasps. One of Taako’s ears flick back toward him, though he himself does not move. Kravitz clears his throat and tries again, voice far more pleasantly full this time.

Five minutes pass in silence before the doorbell rings. Just before Kravitz opens it he hears Taako take a deep breath and glances over to find him arched over his cutting board, knuckles white around the knife.

Kravitz opens the door, a bright smile already in place.