#hana started coming out of her shell (room) more after about a year or so of being a saniwa

[nxmelessfighter]

hana 🤝 atsuko

gacha playing hikkikomori

[geckosong]

Anime Recommendations

Here is a list of ten anime (in no particular order) that are definitely worth watching, yet don’t seem to get nearly as much recognition as they deserve. 

Terror in Resonance (2014)

This is my personal favorite anime and I push people to watch it whenever I can, which is exactly what I’m doing here.

This show is set-in present-day Tokyo, which has been decimated by a terrorist attack, and the only hint to the identities of the culprits is a bizarre video uploaded on the internet. For the majority of the show the plot follows two different narratives: those of the investigators tasked with bringing down the terrorists, and of the terrorists themselves.

           My Rating: 10/10

Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun (2020)

This anime is probably one of my favorites, if not my number one, in terms of art style. I love everything about the character designs and the colors used. It is just so soothing to look at.

The famous "Seven Wonders" that every school seems to have are a staple of Japanese urban legends. One of the most well-known of these tales is that of Hanako-san: Rumors claim that if one successfully manages to summon Hanako-san, the ghost of a young girl who haunts the school's bathrooms, she will grant her summoner any wish. When Nene Yashiro, a girl hoping for romantic fortune, dares to summon Hanako-san, she discovers that the rumored "girl" is actually a boy! After a series of unfortunate events involving Nene's romantic desires, she is unwillingly entangled in the world of the supernatural, becoming Hanako-kun's assistant. Soon, she finds out about Hanako-kun's lesser-known duty: maintaining the fragile balance between mortals and apparitions.

My Rating: 8/10

Kids on the Slope (2012)

If you love jazz, or history, or even heartwarming tales of friendship then this is the show for you. I will admit that is has a bit of a slow start, but by the time you get to the end you’ll be wishing for more.

In 1966, introverted classical pianist and top student Kaoru Nishimi has just arrived in Kyushu for his first year of high school. Having constantly moved from place to place since his childhood, he abandons all hope of fitting in, preparing himself for another lonely, meaningless year. That is, until he encounters the notorious delinquent Sentarou Kawabuchi.    

Sentarou's immeasurable love for jazz music inspires Kaoru to learn more about the genre, and as a result, he slowly starts to break out of his shell, making his very first friend. Kaoru begins playing the piano at after-school jazz sessions, located in the basement of fellow student Ritsuko Mukae's family-owned record shop. As he discovers the immense joy of using his musical talents to bring enjoyment to himself and others, Kaoru's summer might just crescendo into one that he will remember forever.

My Rating: 6/10

Hyouka (2012)

Energy-conservative high school student Houtarou Oreki ends up with more than he bargained for when he signs up for the Classics Club at his sister's behest—especially when he realizes how deep-rooted the club's history really is. Begrudgingly, Oreki is dragged into an investigation concerning the 45-year-old mystery that surrounds the club room.

Accompanied by his fellow club members, the knowledgeable Satoshi Fukube, the stern but benign Mayaka Ibara, and the ever-curious Eru Chitanda, Oreki must combat deadlines and lack of information with resourcefulness and hidden talent, in order to not only find the truth buried beneath the dust of works created years before them, but of other small side cases as well.

           My Rating: 6/10

Tonari no Seki-Kun: The Master of Killing Time (2014)

I absolutely adore this show. The episodes are only about 8 minutes long, and there is very little talking, yet the story still comes through perfectly. It never fails to brighten my day when I’m feeling down.

All Rumi Yokoi wants to do is focus during school, but she is constantly distracted by Toshinari Seki, her neighboring classmate. Paying attention during class is the least of Seki's worries, as he obsesses over intricate setups created using an assortment of items, from an elaborate domino course on his desk to a treacherous war played out with shogi pieces. Yokoi desperately attempts to focus in class, only to be repeatedly sucked into his intriguing eccentricities; however, they always seem to end up with her getting in trouble with their teacher. Fortunately, lessons will never be dull with Seki's antics around!

           My Rating: 9/10

Classroom of the Elite (2017)

On the surface, Koudo Ikusei Senior High School is a utopia. The students enjoy an unparalleled amount of freedom, and it is ranked highly in Japan. However, the reality is less than ideal. Four classes, A through D, are ranked in order of merit, and only the top classes receive favorable treatment.

Kiyotaka Ayanokouji is a student of Class D, where the school dumps its worst. There he meets the unsociable Suzune Horikita, who believes she was placed in Class D by mistake and desires to climb all the way to Class A, and the seemingly amicable class idol Kikyou Kushida, whose aim is to make as many friends as possible.

While class membership is permanent, class rankings are not; students in lower ranked classes can rise in rankings if they score better than those in the top ones. Additionally, in Class D, there are no bars on what methods can be used to get ahead. In this cutthroat school, can they prevail against the odds and reach the top?

           My Rating: 7/10

The Morose Mononokean (2016)

The start of Hanae Ashiya's high school career has not been easy—he has spent all of the first week in the infirmary, and his inexplicable condition is only getting worse. The cause of his torment is the mysterious fuzzy creature that has attached itself to him ever since he stumbled upon it the day before school began.

As his health continues to decline and the creature grows in size, Hanae comes across a flyer advertising an exorcist who expels youkai. Desperate and with nothing left to lose, he calls the number and is led to the Mononokean, a tea room which suddenly appears next to the infirmary. A morose-sounding man, Haruitsuki Abeno, reluctantly helps Hanae but demands payment afterward. Much to Hanae's dismay, he cannot afford the fee and must become an employee at the Mononokean to work off his debt. And to make things worse, his new boss is actually one of his classmates. If Hanae ever hopes to settle his debt, he must work together with Abeno to guide a variety of dangerous, strange, and interesting youkai back to the Underworld.

           My Rating: 6/10

Beyond the Boundary (2013)

Another of my favorite aesthetically pleasing anime, this show has been the one that I show to friends who claim that anime cannot be beautiful (yes, several of my friends have actually said things along that line).

Mirai Kuriyama is the sole survivor of a clan of Spirit World warriors with the power to employ their blood as weapons. As such, Mirai is tasked with hunting down and killing "youmu"—creatures said to be the manifestation of negative human emotions. One day, while deep in thought on the school roof, Mirai comes across Akihito Kanbara, a rare half-breed of youmu in human form. In a panicked state, she plunges her blood saber into him only to realize that he's an immortal being. From then on, the two form an impromptu friendship that revolves around Mirai constantly trying to kill Akihito, in an effort to boost her own wavering confidence as a Spirit World warrior. Eventually, Akihito also manages to convince her to join the Literary Club, which houses two other powerful Spirit World warriors, Hiroomi and Mitsuki Nase.

As the group's bond strengthens, however, so does the tenacity of the youmu around them. Their misadventures will soon turn into a fight for survival as the inevitable release of the most powerful youmu, Beyond the Boundary, approaches.

           My Rating: 7/10

Mekakucity Actors (2014)

I think about this show far more than I’d like to admit. The way they bring different plot lines together continues to amaze me 6 years after watching it for the first time.

On the hot summer day of August 14, Shintarou Kisaragi is forced to leave his room for the first time in two years. While arguing with the cyber girl Ene who lives in his computer, Shintarou Kisaragi accidentally spills soda all over his keyboard. Though they try to find a replacement online, most stores are closed due to the Obon festival, leaving them with no other choice but to visit the local department store. Venturing outside makes Shintarou extremely anxious, but the thought of living without his computer is even worse. It's just his luck that on the day he finally goes out, he's caught in a terrifying hostage situation.

Luckily, a group of teenagers with mysterious eye powers, who call themselves the "Mekakushi Dan," assist Shintarou in resolving the situation. As a result, he is forced to join their group, along with Ene. Their abilities seem to be like pieces of a puzzle, connecting one another, and as each member's past is unveiled, the secret that ties them together is slowly brought to light.

           My Rating: 8/10

Angels of Death (2018)

You totally want to get emotionally attached to cereal killers, right? Of course you do, that’s why you should totally watch this anime.

With dead and lifeless eyes, Rachel Gardner wishes only to die. Waking up in the basement of a building, she has no idea how or why she's there. She stumbles across a bandaged murderer named Zack, who is trying to escape. After promising to kill her as soon as he is free, Rachel and Zack set out to ascend through the building floor by floor until they escape.

However, as they progress upward, they meet more twisted people, and all of them seem familiar with Rachel. What is her connection to the building, and why was she placed in it? Facing a new boss on each floor, can Rachel and Zack both achieve their wishes?

           My Rating: 7/10

Bonus: Stars Align (2019)

I am adding one extra because this anime deserves so much more than it got. I adore every single character in this show and want nothing but to see them be happy. There is so much I adore about this show that I can’t put it all into words. I would recommend you watch this so you can share in my rage that the story was cut off halfway through with no current plans of completing it. There is no manga. There is no way of knowing what happens next. This recommendation is entirely for the purpose of generating more public outcry in the hopes that that causes them to finish the show. Please anime gods, if you are reading this I need to know what happens to my smol tennis boys. Are they safe? Are they alright? 

Constantly outperformed by the girls' club, the boys' soft tennis club faces disbandment due to their poor skills and lack of positive results in matches. In desperate need of members,

Toma Shinjou is looking to recruit capable players, but he fails to scout anyone. Enter Maki Katsuragi, a new transfer student who demonstrates great reflexes when he catches a stray cat in his classroom, instantly capturing Toma's attention. With his interest piqued, Toma ambitiously asks Maki to join the boys' team but is quickly rejected, as Maki doesn't wish to join any clubs. Toma refuses to back down and ends up persuading Maki—only under the condition that Toma will pay him for his participation and cover other club expenses.

As Maki joins the team, his incredible form and quick learning allow him to immediately outshine the rest of the team. Although this gives rise to conflict among the boys, Maki challenges and pushes his fellow team members to not only keep up with his seemingly natural talent, but also drive them to devote themselves to the game they once neglected.

This story focuses on the potential of the boys' soft tennis club and their discovery of their own capability, while also enduring personal hardships and dealing with the darker side of growing up in middle school.

[argylemnwrites]

Not Exactly Sure, But Maybe Sure Enough

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Post The Royal Heir, Chapter 4)

Word Count: ~1900

Rating:  PG-13 (adult language)

Summary: Riley Liu has never been much of a planner. But with the whole world seeming to be making plans for her uterus, she has to reevaluate the way she approaches challenges in her life.

Author’s Note: Written for Day 16 of the Choices July Challenge (prompt - Uncertainty). Can be seen as a companion piece to my Day 2 submission, “Living with the Consequences” (link is in my masterlist as I think that Tumblr still sometimes hates my posts with links embedded in them). Trigger warning for mention of pregnancy loss.

Wanted to take a look at the whole “Would Drake and a Drake-romancing MC really just agree to name their kid heir to the throne?” shenanigans from the perspective of my MC. After all, I probably should write more from her perspective since she is the one who would have to go through all the public scrutiny and judgement. I originally envisioned a much different piece than this, but what can I say? This just took on a life of its own!

To say that Riley Liu hadn’t always thought things through fully was a bit of an understatement. After all, you don’t get on a plane with a guy you’d known for less than 24 hours to go compete in some strange political version of The Bachelor in a foreign country without being pretty impulsive. In all honesty, so much of her life could be seen as a series of decisions she put almost no thought into, bouncing into situation after situation because it sounded fun or awesome or sometimes, just better than her current circumstances. She’d jumped from job to job, casual relationship to casual relationship, friend group to friend group endlessly. Never any roots. Never anything permanent. Until one day, she found herself with actual, real friends, not just buddies you grab a drink with once or twice a month.

There was Maxwell, who gave her a family. Hana, who showed her what trust and honesty looked like in friendship. Liam, who welcomed her with such care, even when she made it clear she didn’t feel the same way about him that he did about her. They all took her in, this flighty, detached waitress and gave her a home, both figuratively and literally. A home she shared with her husband, a concept that still in some ways felt more foreign than the fact that nearly every hero she had for the past year used apple butter instead of mayo.

Finding Drake had been something she had never dared to hope for. Here was a man who seemed to understand her soul, the fears she had that she would always be alone in the end, that she was never good enough just as she was to be a priority to anyone. Sometimes listening to Drake talk about his life felt like looking at her own experiences through a fun-house mirror. Sure, the details were different; opulent parties and snobby nobles were worlds apart from a junkie mother and a variety of foster homes. But for all that distortion, at their core, their damage was the same. And maybe that’s why things always felt so natural between them, even when she was naïve enough to think that she could have a little fling with the cute prince, catch a flight back to NYC, and have a mad story for two truths and a lie going forward, leaving Cordonia behind without a glance back.

The love she felt for her friends, her husband, her new home she would have never experienced if she had stuck to her old habits and peaced out when things got tough, less lighthearted and silly and more filled with media scandals and political drama. She knew there was a lesson to be learned there, and while she would never be one to put together a five-year plan like she knew Hana was doing, she knew Riley Walker needed to be a bit different than Riley Liu. Or at least, she needed to work on being different. For her own sake, for her loved ones’ sake, and for the sake of the citizens she now answered to. While she might have leapt into the role of duchess without much thought, she recognized that being a political figure meant that she probably shouldn’t just roll along, indulging in every whim, every adventure, every idea presented to her, without at least thinking through the consequences somewhat.

So, she was trying this new thing, taking a few minutes to run through some good and bad possibilities for any decision before she jumped in with gusto, at least when it came to the major things in her life. She wasn’t going to let being married turn her into someone boring who was always stuck in a rut, but she could aim for a little stability. Spontaneous, not impulsive - that was her new goal.

And at first it was easy, settling in at Valtoria in those first few weeks, then heading to the private island for her and Drake’s honeymoon. Telling Drake that she was ready to start a family with him, and sooner rather than later, seemed like a calm, rational follow up to their discussion of their future back during the lantern festival. If felt like something responsible adults, responsible parents did. But suddenly it seemed like that was all they talked about, really all anyone talked about around them. And Riley didn’t know how to feel about that. What was the appropriate response to Madeleine telling her that she and Drake better be having a lot of sex, other than the petulant desire to offer to fuck her husband right now if Madeleine would just leave the room? How do you respond to congratulations for a thing that hasn’t happened yet? And what the hell made her typically grumpy, jaded husband respond to Liam’s request like a seasoned diplomat?

Sure, they had a few conversations about his reasons. And she got it, kind of. But did he really not have any doubts about the whole thing? Could he not see that this increased media attention was just the beginning, that their lives were not just their lives anymore? Everyone was going to want a piece of them.

And then of course, her miscarriage happened, leaving them both shell-shocked. Super common, according to Dr. Ramirez, and no reason not to try again. But Riley didn’t know if they should try again, at least not right away. Maybe this was a sign to slow down, to not force this whole parenthood thing at such a rushed speed. But to go back on birth control felt like they were failures, letting down Liam, their friends, and all of Cordonia. Everyone seemed to need their baby so damn much, Riley couldn’t bring herself to take a few months, maybe even a year, to process her loss and heal. She could sense a similar longing in Drake, to move on together, not as public figures but just as Drake and Riley. But after agreeing to name their child heir to the throne, the sacrifice of the timing of trying for another pregnancy seemed inconsequential. What was a few months compared to years of diplomacy classes, public scrutiny, and increased security threats? So they kept trying. And a few months later, they succeeded again. But they were wiser now. No one was going to know except them and Dr. Ramirez. Riley refused to take a pregnancy test at home for that reason. She thought she could trust her staff, but then again she had trusted Gladys, and look how that turned out.

But now she was into the second trimester, out of the most dangerous window, and in certain outfits, she was starting to show. She’d had to avoid some of her favorite shirts and dresses, and Hana had made a few comments that implied that she’d figured it out for weeks now. So she and Drake invited Liam, Maxwell, Hana, Olivia, Bertrand, and Savannah over for dinner. It was exciting to share their happy news, even if they didn’t get to announce it so much as Olivia called out the ridiculousness of their charade when Riley had to excuse herself due to nausea within 30 minutes of everyone’s arrival. On the other hand, it felt a little sad, to lose that shared secret between her and her husband. 

Because now this was the nation’s pregnancy, and never had that been more clear than tonight, as a stylist zipped Riley into a long gown that was as tight as clothing she’d worn before her pregnancy, clearly meant to highlight her bump that was still pretty damn small. Meanwhile, a makeup artist and a hairstylist, both also Madeleine’s “gift” for the night, primped and prodded. Kate Middleton didn’t let her hyperemesis stop her from looking polished, Madeleine had snipped when Riley balked at the whole styling crew, and her children were much farther away from the crown. 

“The mother of the next monarch needs to look like a queen, not some sickly, sloppy piece of work with bags under her eyes.”

Riley had a lot of thoughts about that she would have expressed if she was so damn exhausted, so she settled instead for a middle finger thrust in Madeleine’s direction. Oh well, a little impulsivity was probably excusable under these circumstances.

It all felt so surreal, attending this ball thrown in honor of her son or daughter who was still just a possibility at this point. A lot still could go wrong here, not the least of which was her puking on some diplomat’s shoes in the next hour. As she sat waiting for Madeleine to come and get her, letting her know that they were ready for her entrance as the womb that carried the guest of honor, she felt like she was walking through a fog. Riley Liu would have said, “Screw this shit,” and run away, hopping on a flight or catching a bus. Getting the hell out of this world full of pressure and expectations and demands. But Riley Walker couldn’t do that. She had obligations, and she had to see them through.

She heard the door opening, but didn’t turn to face Madeleine, wanting a few more moments with just her child, no matter how fleeting they would be.

“Hey, so I got a plan to get us out of there in 90 minutes. Two hours, tops.”

She let out a sigh of relief before she even fully processed her husband’s words. He was always finding ways to give them a little more time to be just… them. Not a duke and duchess, and now not the future king or queen’s parents. Just Drake, Riley, and now their little one. 

“How’d you manage that?” she asked, turning towards him as he crossed the room and crouched down in front of her chair. She noticed he hadn’t escaped Madeleine’s grooming plans, wearing a brand new black suit with his hair parted awkwardly to one side.

“Easy. I got Maxwell to agree to give a toast that will last a minimum of 15 minutes as an ode to the best childhood moments of all of Cordonia’s kings and queens. I figure we slip out to get you some air, and we just never come back. Hana’s promised to deflect any questions about our location after we make our escape.”

She reached down, giving him a gentle smile as she ran a hand through his hair, getting rid of that awful part. Now he looked and sounded like her husband.

All too quickly, their moment of privacy was shattered as Madeleine bustled in, taking one look at Drake’s hair and rolling her eyes.

“And just what do you think you two are doing? You’re supposed to make your entrance in less than a minute!”

“Just taking a moment in between,” Riley said as Drake stood up, squeezing her hand as he pulled her to her feet.

“Well, moment’s over. Let’s get going.”

It wasn’t how she would have chosen to go about this whole pregnancy thing, but for better or worse, this was how it was happening. As Drake held tight to her hand as they walked down the hallway, she was glad for was many doubts and uncertainties as she had about this entire heir-to-the-throne situation, at least they were fumbling through this together. They might have both been out of their element, but they had each other, and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough to get them through all of it.

Tags: @dcbbw @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @choicesjulychallenge @kinda-iconic @mfackenthal

[liannyeong]

Don’t Lose This Feeling

Summary: Two best friends and a truth. What will happen?

Word count: 8807

Pairing: Jaebum X OC

Warning(s): slight angst

A/N:  This was 2 weeks overdue... I’m sorry >< If there’s any inconsistencies in this work, please forgive me T_T The summary is bad, I’m sorry

"I think Hana likes you," Hyeri says out of the blue over lunch. She's a fellow coursemate in his major, one whom Jaebum easily gets along with. They've known of each other since their first year, but only started talking when placed in a group together in the current semester of their third year.

Jaebum was about to feed himself a spoonful of rice when she said so. His hand immediately halted in front of his opened mouth, eyes on his friend, brows raised in amusement. He lowers his spoon and asks her, "Why do you say so?" before stuffing his mouth.

"You two spend a lot of time together," she points out the obvious.

Jaebum snickers, shaking his head at his friend's reason. "Just because we spend a lot of time together, doesn't mean we got something going on," he justifies.

Hyeri doesn't seem convinced. She folds her arms across the table, leaning closer. "I see the way she looks at you. It's different from how best friends look at each other. There's that endearment, yes, but Hana? It's different. She looks at you as if you have the wings of an angel or something."

Now, Jaebum barks out a laugh. Hyeri's serious face, coupled with her words, is amusing to his ears. It's absurd. "You're reading it wrong. There's no way Hana have feelings for me."

"Whatever you say then."

---

Jaebum regrets his decision to tag along. He's got deadlines to meet, yet here he is, getting dragged to a hang out that he doesn't really want to be in. No, it's not that Jaebum hates any of his friends breathing in this cramped room. It's just that he's got poor time management and excellent procrastination skills that he's pressed for time. Heck, he doesn't even know if he can complete his assignments on time. 

Now, seated in a circle with his friends, Jaebum questions his life's choices. Why did he agree so easily to his best friend's request, Jaebum doesn't know anymore. The plastic bottle in the center stops spinning, the cap pointing to Hana. Jaebum lost count the number of rounds of Truth or Dare they're in, silently hoping each to be the last so that he can get home.

"Say, Hana-yah," Jackson starts. He's a student in the Sports department, and it's still a mystery how the introverted Hana became friends with the extroverted Jackson. "Do you not like anybody?"

Jaebum's ears perk up at the question. Hana has chosen truth. They've talked about this before, and the answer was "You would know if I liked somebody." Jaebum thought the answer shouldn't even be called one. Now, with Hyeri's words slowly coming back, Jaebum wonders if his best friend will answer the question differently.

Instead, he hears the same reply.

"Do you at least have a type?"

"You can't ask another!" Hana argues.

Jackson grunts but obliges anyway. Hana spins the bottle and it ends up pointing back at her.  There's a loud "Ha!" in the background, before Jackson singsongs his question. "So~ do you have an ideal type?" Jaebum wonders when did the game became Jackson versus friends.

She huffs as she rolls her eyes, then she hums, staring at her hands on her lap. She pointedly avoids any eye contact with anyone. She doesn't even look at Jaebum once, as if she's holding a secret that she desperately wants to hide from him. Weird, because she has always been one to look at Jaebum when speaking. Like she needs some acknowledgement or assurance from him as she says her thoughts.

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

"Tell us."

Jaebum doesn't miss the glare she sends Jackson. She rolls her eyes again before letting out a sigh, as if she has given up arguing with Jackson on the rules of the game. She opens her mouth to say, "Someone who I'm comfortable with. Someone who understands me well. Someone who sees my flaws but accepts them."

Huh. Jaebum expected something different.

"Ay," Jackson lets out, not impressed. "That's not a good answer."

"But it still is an answer," she quips.

A few more rounds later, the bottle finally points to Jaebum. He picks a dare. 

"I dare you to kiss the person you think is attractive in this room," Mark, Jaebum's roommate and friend, instructs him. There's a glint of something in his friend's eyes, which Jaebum doesn't really get. Nonetheless, he wants to wipe that look off his face.

Jaebum scans the circle. The first person that pops into Jaebum's head is Hana, but it's only because he doesn't find any of his friends particularly attractive. It'll be weird if he kisses Hana though. He's not in love with his best friend, why would he do something that might cause things to change between them? Still, Jaebum doubts Hana has any feelings for him. They're best friends! Purely platonic! Hyeri's words are just utter nonsense.

So Jaebum does the one idea his mind could think of: he shifts, closing the gap between him and the girl next to him. He cups her face and tilts it sideways, before pressing his lips to her cheek. He hears whistles and cheers in the background. When he pulls away, Hana looks up at him, shell-shocked and slowly turning red in the face. Jaebum could only shoot her an apologetic smile.

As he goes back to his spot, Jaebum can feel Hana's gaze still fixed on his face, as if registering the event. Jaebum turns his head to meet her eyes. She still doesn't look away. So Jaebum stretches a hand out, and pats her knee as a silent apology. She stiffens at the touch, and her throat bobs slowly. Jaebum squeezes her knee slightly, and it seems to have snapped her out of her temporary trance. Her lips quirk up in a small smile, too fast that Jaebum almost missed it. Weird, Jaebum thinks. Why was she so affected?

---

Jaebum reckons it's a result of that night. Hana has been avoiding him. It may be subtle to anybody else's eyes, but Jaebum knows Hana almost all his life. It's easy to tell when something's off. For more than a week, he hasn't seen her at all. Whenever he texts her, all she ever replies with is a "I've got deadlines to meet!! Sorry :(". Jaebum doesn't recall any moment when Hana would reject him in any way. They have always gone home together, taking the subway together, walking side by side and talking about whatever that comes to mind. So it's not hard for him to guess that there is something off between them, though Jaebum just can't pinpoint exactly what is wrong. If it's anything related to that night, did the kiss made her feel weird? 

Thankfully, he knows her class schedule by heart, making it easy for him to talk to her. When he approaches, there's a flash of alarm on her face. Jaebum pretends it doesn't hurt.

"Hey," he says when he's right in front of her.

"Uh, hey, Jaebum," she greets back, awkward.

"Are you okay?" he asks, peering into her face when he realizes that she's avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah I am!" she replies too swiftly. "Sorry, but I've got to go?"

"Hana-yah," Jaebum calls out, a hand reaching out to grip her elbow. She flinches at his touch. Something is totally off. He closes the gap, peering into her face once more. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong?" she asks back, blinking back at him as if clueless. But Jaebum knows that face too well. She's hiding something from him.

"Be honest with me. What's bothering you?"

"I told you it's nothing!" she insists, pulling her elbow away but Jaebum's grip tightens. "I've got to go, okay?"

"Your next class doesn't start until 2 hours later," Jaebum states flatly. His patience is wearing thin.

"Well, I have other things to do."

"Like what, avoiding me?" Jaebum spits bitterly.

Her expression is similar to a deer caught in the headlights.

"So you were really avoiding me, huh?" Jaebum concludes when she doesn't answer. "Is it about that night? When I kissed you as a dare?"

She turns red. "I--"

Jaebum sighs. His thoughts were right. He lets go of her elbow, and runs his fingers through his hair. He barely notices Hana's eyes following the movement. "You must have felt weird about it. I'm sorry, Hana-yah, but I had to since I didn't know who to pick."

"So it was just..." she trails off.

"It was just a game," Jaebum finishes her sentence. "It didn't mean anything."

Jaebum doesn't miss the way her expression falls, but it passes quickly. Still, that expression stays in his mind. Why that face? Jaebum wonders.

"Oh. Okay, cool. That's uh... great!" Hana lets out a sigh after a moment. "It was all in my head then..." Hana ends with an awkward laugh. She punches Jaebum's arm lightly in a teasing manner. "You should have told me it was nothing! That way, I wouldn't have felt weird, and avoided you!" she argues.

"Well, you were the one who didn't bother to confront me!" Jaebum retorts, though a smile is etched on his lips. "Besides, we're best friends! Why would I even find you attractive?"

"Excuse me!" Hana wears a scandalized expression, which Jaebum knows she's not the least bit offended. "Are you saying I'm not?"

"I don't find you attractive at all, knowing how you are in and out." Jaebum mimics a vomiting sound, inducing another punch on his arm as well as a laugh. But her laughter sounds different. It's not as light and as joyful as it usually is. It doesn't have the same ring it always does. Her smile reaches her ears, but it doesn't feel like it's sincere. Jaebum wonders why.

---

"You still think she doesn't like you?" Hyeri reinstates Jaebum's opinion, mouth slightly agape and expression disbelief.

Jaebum nods slowly. 

"Are you blind?" she mocks, incredulous. "It's so obvious to me!"

"Like I said before, you may be reading it wrong!"

"She's clearly affected by your sudden kiss!"

"She probably finds it weird that her best friend kissed her and supposedly found her attractive!"

Hyeri groans, burying her face into her hands. "I should have been there. I would have done something to find out the truth!"

"Well, the truth is: Hana has no feelings for me. Period."

Hyeri slams her hands down, the sound of it loud enough to attract attention from the nearest neighbors. "Maybe if I were there and you had kissed me--"

"Who's kissing who?" Hana's voice interjects the conversation. Both Hyeri and Jaebum freezes in their seats, slowly turning their heads towards the source at the same time.

"Hana-yah, hi," Jaebum says lamely.

An eyebrow raised, she looks at the two quizzically. "You didn't answer my question."

"Uhh--"

"Well," Hyeri sits up, clearing her throat. "Jaebum here was wondering how it's like to kiss someone."

"What?" Jaebum gasps. He feels a kick on his shin. He nearly yelps.

"So yeah, I was telling him he could try kissing me."

"What?" Jaebum gasps again. But this time, it's in tandem with Hana's.

Hana looks taken aback, as if disbelieving that she's hearing such words. When her eyes meet his, for some reason, Jaebum can sense disappointment in them.

"Don't believe her, Hana. She's saying nonsense," Jaebum clarifies.

"Uhh, sure..." Hana trails off, a frown etched on her face. Then she schools her expression, shooting him a curt smile. "Anyway, I've got to go. See you later?" She looks at Jaebum with anticipation for his response. It's an unspoken rule that they will always head home together, but this time, with the slight raise in tone, she's asking if they will. Jaebum nods. Hana bids her goodbye and walks away.

Once they're sure she's out of sight and earshot, Hyeri leans forward, eyes blazing with newfound confidence and determination. Jaebum's earlier decision to berate his friend dissolves in a matter of seconds. "You saw that?" Hyeri sounds so happy, like a child receiving presents. Jaebum resigns as he nods.

"Want to confirm it?" she suggests, a playful smirk on her lips.

Jaebum ponders a while. There's no harm in this, right? He still doubts Hyeri is right. There's no way Hana likes him. After all, they've been best friends for years, and Jaebum knows her at the back of his palm. He knows everything about her. If she has liked him for so long, he would have known already. 

"Sure."

---

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on between you and Hyeri?" Hana confronts him one summer day. It's the end of the semester, so she came over to his dorm room to help pack his things. Summer vacation is always spent at their hometown, far from the bustling city of Seoul, closer to where the fresh air of the sea is.

It took almost two months to get a reaction from Hana. The experiment was easy: the main principle was "spend less time with Hana, but more time with Hyeri and see if Hana gets jealous". Coincidentally, the semester makes it difficult for Hana and Jaebum to see each other on campus due to having different class schedules. It proves to be helpful in the experiment because they tend to hang out with whoever that shares similar schedules. So, Jaebum starts spending more time with Hyeri who takes the same exact classes as him.

"There's nothing going on, though?" Jaebum says offhandedly. He definitely isn't going to let her know that he's testing out his friend's hypothesis. Which Jaebum is slowly believing. Hana hadn't said anything, but Jaebum knew she's annoyed whenever Hyeri's around. Or whenever he talks about her.

"You're always busy with Hyeri that we barely hang out anymore!" Hana starts.

"Why, are you jealous?" Jaebum counters. 

"Jealous?" she echoes. "I'm your best friend! And we haven't been hanging out together!"

"So? What's your point?" 

Hana looks at him as if he just asked the stupidest question in the world. "Oh, so now that you have a new girlfriend, you don't need me anymore? Is that it?"

"You're really jealous, aren't you? That I've been asking Hyeri out on a date, and not you?"

"What?" Hana gasps, incredulous.

"Is it not true? You like me, don't you? That's why you're jealous of Hyeri. Because I'm paying attention to someone else, not you. Isn't that the case?"

Her face that drained of color proved his point to be true, even though she mutters a weak "What are you talking about?"

"It's obvious that you like me. I've seen it with my own eyes. With the way you're so jealous about Hyeri, it's no doubt that you have feelings for me."

She falls silent. The air suddenly feels heavy, and Jaebum fears she might explode. 

She lets out a sigh, fingers pinching her nose bridge. "Fine," she starts, tone a little harsh to Jaebum's ears that he nearly winced. "Since I've been found out, I'll just say it." 

"It's true. I like you," she spits as if the words hold no meaning. "I didn't say anything because I wanted to our friendship to last. You're my best friend. I didn't want to lose you over some stupid feelings. So I hid it."

"But what I'm so affected by is the fact that you started spending time with Hyeri and less with me. It's as if you forgot that your best friend existed," she adds. "I don't care if you love her. I just want to be your best friend. But you don't seem to care about me anymore."

There's a pause in the air, that Jaebum wonders if he's supposed to say something at all. Her eyes are boring right into his face, and it burns. Her gaze so intense, it's scalding. There's a sharp intake and then, she moves.

"It's fine with me though," she says as she navigates around the room, picking her things and stuffing them into her bag. "Now that you've found someone and ignoring me, at least it'll help me get over my feelings."

"Besides, you don't have to worry," Hana pauses at the doorway to his room, "I'm flying off to London for an exchange program next week. I won't get in the way of your relationship with Hyeri."

"Enjoy your summer, Jaebum-ah," is the last thing she says before she walks out of his room. Despite the way she calls his name, it sounds distant. As if she's saying goodbye. Jaebum hears the front door open and then clicking shut. Like the empty dorm, Jaebum feels hollow inside.

---

Jaebum haven't seen Hana in months. No texts from her, no calls, no news. Heck, she didn't even inform him her flight details, nor did Jaebum muster up the courage to ask her about it. Jaebum only gets updated about her through their mutual friends and her Instagram posts. She used to post very rarely, but these days, there's always a new photo or a new story from her. It's as if she's trying to let Jaebum know about her wellbeing without talking to him directly. It's a little self-indulgent, Jaebum supposes, but he takes whatever he can.

"Honestly, I don't understand why you are even like this," Mark says as he grabs a can of soda from the refrigerator. He pads over to their shared dorm, settling himself at his own bed. "You look like some lost puppy who is waiting for his master to come home. Only that you're the one that ran away from your master."

Jaebum ignores his roommate and friend's comment, unlocking his phone and tapping the Instagram app like a reflex. He absentmindedly scrolls through his Instagram, pulling the page down every other second, hoping for another update from Hana.

Another pull of the page and Jaebum nearly drops his phone onto his face when a picture of her pops up on his screen. She's smiling so widely in the selfie she took, her hair tucked under her beanie, her cheeks rosy and the tips of her ears that peek out is red. His heart swells at her face, yet he smiles to himself. It's weird that he's happy to see Hana. Perhaps he just misses the times when they were best friends. 

Jaebum swipes through her post, silently pleased that he's got a dosage of her through the many photos she uploaded. She's smiling brightly in each one, and the last is a group photo with the friends Jaebum assumes she has made over the period of time she stayed abroad. Jaebum's lips stay curled upwards, eyes warm as he gazes at her face. But his eyes start to wonder around and finally, it lingers on the hand on her waist. Jaebum traces the hand to its owner, and his smile drops. His heart nearly stops. He shoots up into a sitting position. He zooms into the hand and then onto the face of the owner, who's smiling just as wide.

Huh, Jaebum thinks, has she found somebody?

"What's with that look?" Jaebum barely hears Mark from the other side of the room.

"Jaebum?" Mark's voice is suddenly so loud at his ear, Jaebum nearly flinches. Mark is looking at Jaebum's phone screen, the group photo blatantly shown. "Oh, Hana posted something?" 

"I didn't know Hana and Jinyoung are friends," Mark adds.

Jaebum snaps his head up, ears perked up, eyes wide in alarm, "You know that guy?"

"Yeah," Mark replies, unfazed, as he goes back to his initial spot. "He's a nice guy. Come to think of it, Jinyoung has a similar personality to Hana. I'm glad they met!" Mark says gleefully. 

Something about it makes Jaebum feel uncomfortable. He should be happy for Hana, shouldn't he? Now that she found someone else? Jaebum doesn't even know why, but he feels an ache in his chest when thinking of Hana with somebody else. Logically, it would mean that there's nothing between her and Jaebum so they could go back to their old times again. Why, Jaebum wonders, does he feel so uneasy?

---

Jaebum finds out from Jackson that Hana is extending her stay in London. It's been 4 months already, and yet he has not received a single message from her. Jaebum reckons she's keeping her promise of being out of reach. He's not upset though. It's perfectly fair that she does such thing to him. After all, Jaebum is the one who caused their current state of friendship. Only that this time, he doesn't even know if he can mend it at all.

To his surprise, Jaebum hears her voice for the first time in months at a small gathering at Jackson's place. All their mutual friends were gathered in the small apartment, and Jackson decided to video call Hana. She seems happy to see everyone after so long. Jaebum wonders if she feels the same towards him. Heck, does she even notice him at the corner of the screen?

Jackson gets everyone to say hi to her individually, and Jaebum hopes Jackson would forget about him and continue on with others. But of course, that's not what happened because Jackson is always trying to make everyone happy and feel included. So when Jackson calls his name, Jaebum sees how Hana's face morphs into surprise. If anybody else noticed the shift in the atmosphere, they don't say anything.

"Uh, hey," Jaebum says awkwardly.

"Hi," Hana greets back, a smile on her lips.

Jaebum will never admit it aloud but... Seeing her smile after a long time and directed to him only, it makes his heart skip a beat. His heart almost soar. He returns the smile.

Jackson reappears on the screen, taking the center spotlight again. He begins chatting with Hana, and Jaebum is thankful that he's pushed back to the corner. Things may not be okay between them now, but at least there is progress. Watching her from far is good enough for now.

Jaebum listens to her anecdotes of her time at London. Her voice sounds like a song to his ears now. He lets it play continuously, not wanting it to stop. Her eyes go off behind the web camera, her hand gesturing for someone to come into the screen. She goes off screen, but comes back with another person in tow.

He shouldn't be feeling disappointed, but Jaebum can't help it when he sees Hana pulling another man -- Jaebum remembers him as Jinyoung from the group photo -- into the screen. Jaebum must have been the only one in this group of friends to not know Jinyoung personally, because everyone else seems to recognize Jinyoung.

Feeling a little left out, Jaebum slips away from the living room and into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He reckons Hana wouldn't even notice his absence so he lingers in the kitchen, slowly drinking a glass of water. Minutes later, his phone vibrates. Unlocking the screen, his heart nearly stops at the message.

Or more specifically, the sender.

From: Hana

Where'd you go?

Jaebum looks up to where the group is clustered around the small laptop. He shifts until he can see the screen. Hana is still there, next to Jinyoung who is busy conversing with the group.

Jaebum types out a reply.

To: Hana

In the kitchen, getting some drinks.

As soon as he sends the message, he looks back into the screen. He can see Hana immediately reacting to her phone, fingers moving across the screen, probably typing out a reply. Almost instantly, Jaebum's phone vibrates again.

From: Hana

That long? Come back on screen.

Jaebum doesn't know how to make sense out of this. Is Hana missing him? If so, why didn't she contact him privately first? He leaves her message unanswered, pocketing the phone in his jeans. He struts over to the living room, bidding goodbye to his friends. When he looks at the laptop screen, Hana seems to anticipate something, but Jaebum only bids her and her friend goodbye.

---

It takes Jaebum a few days before he musters up the courage to send Hana a text, asking to talk. They decided on a video call since they both have a lot to say. Calling her has never been nerve-wrecking, it was always carefree and easy. It was always relaxing to talk to her. But now, it's like a fight-or-flight situation.

The call gets connected and Jaebum nearly gasps seeing Hana on his screen. She's wearing a plain white shirt, hair tied up in the messiest bun. She must have finished studying, because that's how she would usually look during her intense studying sessions.

"Hi," she says with small smile. "How have you been doing?"

Heck, why did his heart flutter just by listening to her voice? Using an earpiece, her voice is amplified and it feels like she's talking right at his ear. He can hear her breathing clearly. Just why the hell is he so affected by her?

Jaebum clears his throat and his mind too. "Fine, I guess?" Jaebum replies awkwardly.

"That's good to hear," she says with a nod. Jaebum briefly wonders if he answered wrongly. To be fine with the situation... Jaebum wonders if she understands it wrongly. Did she think that Jaebum isn't affected by their situation?

"Um..." Hana starts again. "Is it okay if I go first?"

Jaebum just nods.

She takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry with the way things are. It was rather selfish of me not to tell you about my flight details and whatever not. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you for the past few months. I just thought... That if I stayed away from you for awhile, we'd be okay again."

"I've been thinking a lot about us, and my own feelings for you," she continues. "You seem happy with Hyeri... So I thought... I should be happy for you." She smiles and Jaebum can't figure the emotions behind it. But his heart clenches at her words. "I thought I should let you go, move on from this feeling, and let you be happy with her. I thought I should be a better best friend, by being happy whenever you are. I can't let my feelings get in the way with your relationship with Hyeri."

"So... I hope that we could put everything in the past and start afresh again," she finishes.

Jaebum doesn't know what words to say. The past few months were nothing but gloomy to him. The argument they had only made him realize this. He's so used to having Hana around, that having to live a day without her physical presence is equivalent to learning how to breathe underwater. It's impossible. With her gone, he realized he had taken her for granted.

Her words break something in him, yet he doesn't know what. She's in pain, and it's all because of him. He doesn't know how long Hana has harbored feelings for him. But through it all, she has endured much. And all the while, Jaebum didn't know at all.

"Hana-yah," Jaebum finally says.

"Hmm?"

"I miss you."

The moment he releases those words, there's that uncertainty in the air, and the silence that hangs between them feels heavy on Jaebum's shoulders. He watches how she takes those words: she blinks, once, twice, as if she misheard it. But she seems conflicted, with the way her brows slightly narrowed, her lips quirked upwards a little. Just three simple words, yet its meaning is so hard to decipher.

In the end, she says, "I'm coming back soon, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Jaebum lets out, tone deflated. It's not a reply he wants to hear, but then again, he doesn't really know what kind of reply he was expecting.

"Goodnight, Jaebum," she bids like a whisper when silence pursues. Jaebum doesn't know if she's tired or if she just wants to end the call. Jaebum decides it's better to agree on the former. Besides, it's night over there while it's daytime in Korea. Jaebum doesn't even bother correcting her about the timezone difference but bids her back the same way. When their call ended, her half-whispered voice keeps replaying in his mind. Despite having woke up several hours before, her voice induces sleep and he drags himself to his bed, throwing himself onto the soft mattress. He shuts his eyes and hopes that their dreams connect. A dream where everything is okay.

---

"I think you like her," Hyeri states when they met up for lunch.

Jaebum nearly chokes on his drink. "I do not!" he almost shrieks, red in the face.

"Sure you don't," Hyeri muses. "Then why did you say you miss her?"

"It's been a long time since I've hung out with her, okay? Of course I miss her!" Jaebum justifies.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Hyeri dismisses him, waving her hand.

"I just-- I don't know, okay?" Jaebum resigns. "These days, whenever I see her, I just--" His hand goes to his chest, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. "I just feel."

"Hmm," his friend hums. "My conclusion is still the same: You like her." Jaebum opens his mouth to argue but Hyeri beats him to it. "You like her, but you don't know it yet."

"That makes no sense."

Hyeri shrugs. "It's something you have to figure out for yourself." The female takes a sip of her drink. "Ask yourself this: Do you feel jealous when she spends time with another guy?"

"I don't know."

"If she does spend time with another guy, say that guy named Junmyeon? Jinrong?"

"Jinyoung," Jaebum corrects.

"Ah, yes, him. Do you like it when she spends time with him?"

"I--" Jaebum halts. Does he? The first time he saw that group photo, he felt disappointed; a sinking feeling in his chest. When they video called with the group of friends, Jaebum didn't like the way they were seated so close. He didn't like the way they seemed to get each other so well, just as how Jaebum understood Hana perfectly without a word. But now, he wonders if he even knew his best friend that well.

"Found your answer yet?" Hyeri's question drawls Jaebum back to reality. She has a knowing look on her face, despite resting her chin on her palm, seemingly bored.

Jaebum only sighs, shrugging.

---

Jaebum's breath hitches the moment he sees the female emerging from the arrival hall. For 4 months, he hasn't seen her in person. To finally see her feels like a dream. He strides towards her, watching as her eyes dart around, presumably looking for familiar faces. Jaebum doesn't know what came over him, but he suddenly gained bravery. The moment he was a few steps away, and their eyes meet, Jaebum swears her whole face lit up and the smile that breaks onto her lips is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Has Hana always been this beautiful? 

Jaebum sees nothing but only her, his eyes blurring everything at the sides, focused on her form. They're close, but Jaebum thinks it's not close enough. She's already halted in her tracks, eyes looking at him in anticipation. Jaebum notices her open her mouth, probably to say something, but Jaebum is fixed on one thing only. He goes past the baggage trolley, hands reaching out for her face. He cups her face, doesn't register the shock expression, as he leans down, eyes fluttering close. 

The press against her lips is so soft and pillowy. It feels heavenly and so right. Jaebum could easily get lost in the moment, but there's pressure on his chest that snaps him. He pulls away, eyes meeting hers. She's flushed in a pretty pink, shy at the close proximity, yet her eyes are as wide as a doe. Oh, how Jaebum wants to close the gap again.

There's a clear of a throat and Hana jumps away from him. Her attention immediately turned to the newcomer, her cheeks still red and her expression embarrassed. Jaebum follows her gaze and recognizes the male that stands a few meters away as Jinyoung.

"Sorry to intrude," the male says awkwardly as his eyes dart between the two, "but uhh, we're gonna take the last group photo."

"Oh right, okay," Hana sputters. She turns to Jaebum, but the moment their eyes meet, she looks away. Well, shit, Jaebum must have screwed this one up. Suppressing his dejection, he forces a smile at her.

"Go ahead," he encourages. "I'll wait."

Hana looks at him warily, before nodding. She leaves her bags with him, then follows Jinyoung.

Jaebum watches as Hana's lips break into a wide smile when she approaches her friends. It makes Jaebum's heart swell. It has been a long time since she directed such a smile to him, Jaebum wonders if she'll give him one again. 

Eyes not leaving his best friend's body, Jaebum stares at the arm that wound around her shoulders, pressing their bodies closer. That Jinyoung seems like a touchy person, huh? Is it necessary to be so close to her? Jaebum mocks in his mind.

But Hana's own arm goes to his waist, and Jaebum's heart breaks. She doesn't seem to mind the skin contact. In fact, she seems so relaxed to be held in his arms. It all hits Jaebum at once: maybe she has moved on. Maybe the few months apart allowed her to get over her feelings for him. Maybe, she finally found the one. After all, Mark said that they have matching personalities -- they must be compatible.

When Jaebum focuses back onto the scenario at hand, the group is dispersed. Hana is still surrounded by her other friends, all smiles, Jinyoung in tow. She must be happy with him, Jaebum thinks. As if she read his mind, Hana's eyes meet his in the distance. She shoots him an apologetic smile but Jaebum assures her with a smile back. He doesn't move a muscle from his spot, patiently waiting for Hana to come back. 

When she does, there's an awkward silence between them. It's the same feeling one gets when put in a situation where everything is just so fragile, that if a single word is uttered, everything just falls apart.

"Where are you heading?" Jaebum finally asks.

"Home," she answers. "I'm gonna take a taxi to surprise my family." She smiles, as if proud with her plan.

"I'll help you with your luggages then," Jaebum offers as he grabs the head of her luggages. They walk side by side towards the taxi stand, the silence hanging between them similar to a heavy weight.

"Jaebum?"

The said male hums.

"... Nothing."

The boot of the car is released, and Jaebum helps to load her things.

"Thanks," she utters, a faint blush on her cheeks. Jaebum wonders why. "I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, see you."

The car door closes, and the taxi drives off. Jaebum stands at the taxi stand, eyes following the vehicle until it vanishes out of his sight. 

---

Neither talks about the kiss. They're so busy with their own things that they hadn't conversed at all. Still, Jaebum has the urge to send her a message, just to talk to her. He doesn't have the courage to do it though. Not without a reason. 

Imagine his surprise when his phone screen lit up one day, a message from Hana staring at his face. Jaebum's thumb hovered at the message, he himself requiring some courage to read in its entirety. He took a deep breath, before tapping on the notification. There was a short text of "Do you want to go with me?", followed by a photo of two tickets attached. Jaebum zoomed into the photo, figuring out what the tickets are. Those are tickets to a carnival held downtown. As surprised as he is, Jaebum was pleased that Hana initiated a conversation and asked him out.

So it took Jaebum just a mere seconds to accept Hana's invitation.

Standing in front of a mirror, Jaebum examines his own appearance and curses it. His eye bags are obvious. He couldn't even sleep properly when his mind just wouldn't stop conjuring scenarios of their carnival date-- It's not a date! he berates himself. For all his life, Jaebum has never bothered about how he looks in front of Hana. He has never tried hard to dress up for her. But now, he's a little insecure. Is he dressed too simply? Does his body look toned enough? Does he look good at all? Jaebum stares at his reflection. He's donned in a plain white shirt, half-tucked into his black jeans. It looks too plain, too boring so he grabs a black bomber jacket. Perhaps a baseball cap to complete the style-- no. His hair will look flat if he wears one.

He grabs his belongings and takes one last good look in the mirror. You look fine, Jaebum consoles himself. He fixes his hair slightly then takes a step back. He tugs his clothes and nods at himself. Then, he sets out of his dorm.

It's not a date, Jaebum keeps reminding himself as he makes his way downtown. It's just a normal platonic hangout with a friend. That's all. But he doesn't get why he feels anxious as time ticks by. Or why he feels butterflies in his stomach when he thinks of how Hana would look. It's not a date, but why does it feel like it is? His playlist of songs are not helping either. It only plays sappy love songs, or the ones containing heartbreaks. Which situation best describes Jaebum, he doesn't know.

His phone dings with a message from Hyeri.

From: Hyeri

How's the date going??? :)

To: Hyeri

I'm nervous, and I don't even know why

By the way, it isn't a date!

From: Hyeri

Are you sure it isn't? It seems like it is...

Think about it

Why else would she ask you out to a carnival, of all places?

To: Hyeri

What

From: Hyeri

If she's scared on the rides, she can hold your hand

;)

To: Hyeri

Shut up

That's nonsense

And she's not easily scared

From: Hyeri

Maybe this time she will be

;)

Then she will hold your hand

Jaebum blushes at the thought of holding Hana's hand. Gosh, why is he so easily affected by anything Hana might do to him? 

From: Hyeri

Are you getting ideas now?

;)

To: Hyeri

Shut up

I hate you

From: Hyeri

You really like her, huh? ;)

To: Hyeri

No, I don't

It's been a while since we hung out, that's why I feel on edge

It doesn't mean anything.

From: Hyeri

Then why did you kiss her?

Jaebum stares at the message. He doesn't even have an answer to that. Do I really like her? Jaebum wonders. All he ever felt before the kiss, was a strong urge to do so. No reasons behind it.

Suddenly, there's a voice calling his name at his ear, and he flinches. Jaebum looks up, and all he sees is Hana, looking so breathtaking in a simple casual wear. Dressed simply in a beige pullover that is tucked into denim jeans, a tote bag slung over a shoulder, she looks pretty in Jaebum's eyes. It's weird, because she has always worn clothes like that whenever they hung out. But today, it makes his heart skip a beat. And for once, Jaebum is thankful for his own choice of style -- it complements hers.

She glances at his phone, and there's an unreadable expression on her face. She quickly looks away, as if she saw something she wasn't meant to see. Jaebum's eyes dart to his own phone, the screen showing his messages with Hyeri. Embarrassed, he presses the lock button, and stashes it into his pocket.

"Sorry, did you wait long?" Hana says first.

"No, I just got here," he replies.

She leads the way to the entrance, rummaging her bag for the tickets before heading inside. It's like entering a whole new world. Shrieks, laughter, the sound of the rollercoaster whooshing down, the music from each booth all mixed together like a badly composed orchestra. It's noisy and crowded, so Hana and Jaebum sticks close. Sometimes their fingers brush, and Jaebum tries hard to calm himself down. Gosh, why is he so affected?

"Which shall we start first?" Jaebum leans closer to her to ask. It's so close he can mildly smell the perfume she wears. Damn.

Hana scans the area, before pointing to the least crowded one. They contest against the sea of people to get to the first ride. It's just a simple ride, probably meant for children. A warm-up, Jaebum supposes.

After that, it all kick-starts. They went on many rides and euphoria fills their being. Screaming, laughing, crying -- everything feels normal again. As if they had no tension between them. As if everything was forgotten, and all that's left are two best friends having the time of their lives.

They just got off another rollercoaster ride that's supposedly the most popular and scariest. Hana wipes tears in her eyes but laughs as she recalls those moments on that ride. Jaebum can't help but laugh along because a) her recount is actually funny and b) her laughter is contagious. Besides, he can't help the smile on his face when she looks so adorable. He must have stared for too long, her words barely understood by his brain, for Hana's laugh stops and she's looking at him in amusement.

"Why that face, Jaebum-ah?" she asks, head tilted to the side.

It's enough to snap him out of his trance, so Jaebum just says a lame, "Huh?"

She chuckles, shaking her head. "Come, let's take a picture," Hana suggests as she approaches an empty photo booth at the corner of the carnival site.

She enters the booth first, and Jaebum slides in next to her. It's small, so the side of their legs touch, and Jaebum can feel the warmth of her body against his. So close and so dark, Jaebum wills not to do any stupid stuff.

Hana scrolls through the screen, probably finding some features that Jaebum doesn't really bother about because he's just watching her. The light from the screen illuminates her face, painting her face a pretty white, as if she's a marble sculpture.

Do I like her? The question pops in Jaebum's head again. His eyes stay on her face, trailing from her eyelashes to her eyes to her round buttoned nose and then to her lips. The last time he touched it, it felt soft. He wonders what it'll taste this time.

His eyes are still fixed on her lips that he barely registers the completion of photo settings and the start of the photo taking. She shifts back, making their bodies more pressed up against each other. Then her face turns to his--

"Yes, I do," Jaebum mutters.

"What?"

He surges forward. A hand cup the side of her face, another curled over her waist. Her lips taste as soft as he remembers, a little chapped this time. He ignores the bursts of light at the side of his face, deeply entranced by the flavor and the feeling of her lips. Hana tugs at his sides, as if needing to hold onto something and all Jaebum wants is to deepen the kiss. So he presses his body forward, closer to hers. Just as he does so, the tug becomes stronger and Hana breaks apart, tilting her face sideways.

Heavy panting fills the quiet booth, and the white light from the screen returns. Jaebum could see the pink in her cheeks, her lips redder than before. He's about to lean in again when there's a whirling sound at the machine. Hana's attention goes to it, and Jaebum follows her gaze. A strip of photos comes out, and all four of them are pictures of their kiss.

Immediately afterwards, Hana pulls away and stands up, forcing her way out of the cramped space, without a word. In a state of panic, Jaebum snatches the strip of photos and clambers out of the booth haphazardly. Hana continues walking, never turning back even though Jaebum calls her name. He jogs over to her, grabbing her arm.

"Hana--"

"Why?" she cuts. "Why did you--" she doesn't finish her sentence. Jaebum realizes her eyes are red and moist. She's holding back the tears.

"Am I a rebound to you?" she starts again. "Is this because of Hyeri?"

"No, it's not," Jaebum answers. His hand goes to her face, but she slaps it away. She even distances herself from him.

"Then why?"

"Because I like you," Jaebum confesses.

"No." Hana shakes her head. "It can't be..." It's like a revelation that she refuses to acknowledge. "You're all about Hyeri for the past months and now, suddenly, you like me? That's absurd."

"There's nothing between Hyeri and I!" Jaebum clarifies, yet she doesn't look convinced. He takes a step closer, hand still stretched out to touch her, but she backs away again. "Hana, please... Believe me."

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry... I can't-- This is a lot to take in. I'm just-- I'm sorry." She turns on her heels and runs off. Jaebum's legs too stiff to even move.

He watches her leave, then loses her in the sea of people.

---

It's another period of being stagnant. It's like staying afloat in the middle of the ocean, where there are no currents and neither ships nor helicopters to give help. Jaebum wonders if he'll drown anytime soon.

Hana hasn't contacted him, but he has seen her around on campus, all smiley with her friends. As if she has forgotten about him. 

Like right now.

Jaebum has been staring at her face from across the cafeteria. He's seated at a corner, near a pillar which makes it easy for him to hide away. Besides, the lunch crowd is doing enough to block him. On the other hand, Hana sits at her usual spot -- the most secluded area of the cafeteria. No one likes that part, because it's far from the food stalls but she doesn't mind it one bit. She favors comfort to convenience.

Hana's hand goes up to her mouth, the action snaps Jaebum from his momentary haze. Her shoulders shake, her eyes forming crescents, and Jaebum can hear her laughter in the distant of his memories. He's envious, that he probably will never see her smile ever again. That her smiles will no longer be directed to him. His gaze must have been intense, for she turns her head to his direction. Their eyes meet and Jaebum sees how she was just glazing over the crowd to how she recognized him. Her eyes widen a little, her smile falters slightly, but her cheeks turn rosy, and Jaebum feels his heart skip a beat. Her eyes dart to one of her friends, before she glances at him again. This time, there's a small smile on her lips and Jaebum knows it's meant for him. In that moment, despite being in the midst of the crowd, Jaebum swears it's as if it's just the two of them in the world.

It's crazy how a simple smile is enough to make him happy. The next thing he knows, Hana stands, waving goodbye to her friends, but her attention goes back on him. She approaches him, goes through the crowd, eyes locked with his. His heart thumps in anticipation, perhaps. Not once did Jaebum look away. 

She pulls the chair opposite him and takes the seat.

"Are you in a rush?" she speaks for the first time since that carnival date.

Jaebum shakes his head dumbly.

"Great," she breathes. "Listen, I-- Hyeri told me everything. Including that experiment of hers. Or yours."

Jaebum blinks. "I see..."

"But what I don't understand is... Why-- How did you even-- Why do you like me?" she asks after much difficulty in forming her words.

Jaebum sighs. "I can't say... I don't know either," Jaebum answers. His shoulders slump. He probably looks like a dog with droopy ears after being scolded. "When you left for your exchange program, I just-- I missed you, I guess. It felt different without you. And you refrained from talking to me. So did I. Then I saw photos of you with your friends and I-- I thought I was angry because you seemed to be unaffected by our fight. But I realized it's not anger at all... I was jealous. I envied every other guy that were close to you."

"And when I saw you again at the airport, you looked so beautiful, and I missed you so much that I just-- you know."

"And I kept wondering if I had feelings for you or if it was just some stupid passing thought. But when I asked you out to the carnival, I liked spending time with you. And I realized I liked you too," Jaebum finishes. His own face feels warm when he finally admits to his own feelings. 

Hana reaches for Jaebum's hand that is resting on the table. She pats the back of his hand, before curling her fingers into the space between his index finger and thumb, lightly squeezing it. "Thank you, for telling me the truth."

She retracts her hand but Jaebum grabs it back, wants to keep it intertwined with his own fingers. Hana looks up at Jaebum, surprised. "Jaebum-ah, can you let me go?"

He doesn't know what that question means. He doesn't want to let her go. He doesn't want her to avoid him again. He doesn't want to feel invisible in her eyes again.

"I have a class now," Hana explains. "You need to let me go of my hand."

"Are you gonna avoid me again?" he asks, voice filled with worry, ignoring her words. "Do you hate me now?"

Her gaze softens. "I can never hate you, Jaebum-ah. Angry, yes, but never hate."

She pulls her hand, but not forcefully. His grip isn't that strong either, she could easily break free. But she doesn't try hard enough. Jaebum wonders why. Reluctantly, Jaebum loosens his hold. She slips off so easily, like water. 

"What now?" Jaebum asks. He needs some closure after admitting his own feelings. He supposes Hana felt the same when she confessed.

"I don't know..." she trails, unsure. She nibbles her lower lip, cheeks slightly rosy. "But... do you want to try?"

"Try?"

She blushes, obvious despite her face being turned down. "Try being together with me?"

"What?"

Her skin flushes a deeper red, but she snaps her head up, eyes blazing with confidence. "Do you want to give us a try?"

"I-- Are you serious?"

She nods slowly.

A smile breaks onto his lips.

"Okay!"

She beams. She stands up, as she says, "I'll go for class now--"

But almost immediately, Jaebum stands up, nearly knocking his chair over. He grabs his bag and puts it on haphazardly, before walking over to her side of the table. She blinks up at him, rather confused.

"I'll walk you there," he says.

"Okay," is her answer, cheeks pink.

Jaebum purposely lets his hand brush against hers, let his shoulder knock against hers. He lets his fingers slip slowly between hers, and is pleased that she doesn't pull away. Instead, he feels her spreading her fingers so that he can easily intertwine their fingers. He folds his fingers tight over her knuckles, not wanting even any air to come in between.

When they reached her floor, the lecture theater just meters away, Jaebum halts in his tracks and lets go of her hand. Hana looks at him, confused. He takes a step closer, their breaths mingling. His hands go to the junction between her jaw and her neck, tilting her face up. Her eyes sparkle, her cheeks red. He leans forward, pressing a kiss on her forehead. Then another on her cheek. Then almost on her lips.

Her eyes that fluttered close open again, darts down to his lips. Jaebum doesn't close the gap. But there's a tug on his shirt, and he's pulled forward. The press against his lips feels soft and plush as he remembers.

Breaking apart, Hana breathes, "See you later?"

"Yeah," Jaebum lets out, as if all air has been sucked out from his lungs.

There's a shy smile on her lips, and then she disappears into the lecture theater. Jaebum stands in the corridor, smiling to himself. They have a lot to talk about later, but as of now, Jaebum doesn't mind. They have a lot to get used to, but that's fine. At least now, he has his best friend back.

And a girlfriend, too.

It's all good. 

[camillemontespan]

a kingdom divided [part five] [drake walker x mc]

Part Four here!

I’m now obsessed with writing this series. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

@jovialyouthmusic @drakesensworld @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @tacohead13 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @iplaydrake @notoriouscs @drakewalkerisreal @sirbeepsalot @katedrakeohd @ifyouseekheart

                        *************************************************

Drake sat in his study reading the latest newspapers. On his laptop, he had open a number of tabs, all of which showed the same type of article.

He was doing research. He had found, so far, 20 articles all calling for a Republic. Many articles wrote about how the King was unwilling to bend to the will of the people. How they had asked him repeatedly for a special committee to be made up of citizens who could meet with the King to discuss issues. Some argued that the monarchy was stuck in the past. But the main theme was how King Liam had chosen his own friends to represent the public, when the public wanted to represent themselves.

Drake sighed and took a deep gulp of his coffee. It was 9am. He had been up for hours, pouring over the newspapers. He was trying to see it from Liam's side but he was struggling.

The doorbell rang. He heard the front door open and Camille say, 'Oh!' in surprise. Drake frowned and made his way to the hallway to see their visitor.

It was Liam. Drake stiffened. Their fight yesterday had been tense. Liam smiled at Camille and then nodded respectfully to Drake. 'Sorry its early. Can I please speak to you both? I have things to say.'

Camille looked at Drake who nodded. Camille smiled at the King. 'Of course. Shall we go out to the terrace?'

The King shook his head. 'I want to see the nursery.'

                                    ***************************************

The three of them stood and studied the nursery with its broken window. Liam sighed. 'When is it being fixed?'

'Tomorrow,' Drake said. It was the first thing he had said. Liam nodded, his eyes downcast. 'I'm sorry this happened. Really sorry. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had this happen.'

Camille reached out and touched Liam's arm. 'Don't say that. It's not true.'

Liam paced the room. 'I want to apologise for my behaviour yesterday, Drake. I was unfair and narrow minded. I couldn't see past the fog. I thought about it after I dismissed you and I understand. You're a husband and soon to be a father. I was wrong to undermine that.'

Camille took Drake's hand in support. Drake let out a shaky breath. 'I didn't mean to say the republic might win.'

Liam shrugged. 'They have a good chance. Anyway, I'm sorry. I won't force you to hold another open house again and I won't demand that you put the kingdom before family again. That was selfish.'

Drake shuffled his feet awkwardly. Camille spoke up. 'Maybe we can host open houses once this has been sorted? Right now, it's too dangerous but when everything has gone back to normal, then our citizens can visit. Its good to hear their thoughts.' She was compromising, always fair. She and Drake had spoken last night in bed. Though Drake had been hesitant, he had to agree that an open house in a calm, peaceful kingdom wad a good idea.

Liam nodded. 'We can make arrangements once things are clearer. I'm making plans for now. So, I'm inviting you to the Palace tomorrow night for a dinner. All of our esteemed friends and courtiers will be in attendance. I want to show I love my court and keep them on my side.'

Drake paled. 'Are you sure that's a good idea? If we hold a dinner, the public might take that the wrong way..'

Camille nodded, agreeing. 'Perhaps we just lay low, work things out discreetly? Not hold a fancy dinner in this current climate.'

Liam sighed. 'I hear you both but I need my court on side. I want to start from inside and work my way outwards.'

Drake and Camille both swallowed but didn't protest. Liam, usually so calm and level headed, was now anything but.

'I'll have extra security,' Liam said. 'It'll be safe. But I would be so grateful if you both could be there. I don't want to lose you.'

Drake sighed. 'You're never going to lose us, Liam. We're your friends.'

Liam smiled weakly then looked at Camille. 'I want you to be safe and happy. I'm so sorry that I lost sight of that. I really hope you can forgive me.'

Camille stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug. 'Already forgiven.'

Liam said goodbye. Once Drake shut the door, he turned to Camille, a worried expression on his face. 'See what I mean? He won't listen. Most of the people want to be part of a committee so they can discuss the kingdom with the King. Nothing too radical. It’s just the more he pushes against them, the more angry they get and they do shit like throwing rocks at windows.'

Camille leaned her head on his chest. 'All we can do is be there for him, Drake. Try and guide him to do the right thing. He is the king, he knows how to rule. I think he's just a little.. Lost at the moment.'

Drake squeezed his eyes shut. 'We need to get him back.'

                           *******************************************

The nursery window was finally fixed. Camille had thought she would be happy about this but now, looking into the room, she just felt nothing.  To her, the nursery was no longer the nursery. How could she continue decorating and organising the room after what had happened? She knew she would never sleep easy again, knowing the baby was asleep in there. 

She clenched her fists. She felt so frustrated. Frustrated at Liam, for being too single minded to see the bigger picture and frustrated at the anti-monarchists who wouldn’t protest peacefully. 

Drake came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning in to kiss her neck. ‘You okay, honey?’ he asked. Camille sighed. ‘This isn’t the nursery anymore.’

Drake squeezed her shoulders. ‘I know.’

                         *************************************************

The newspapers quickly discovered and reported that the Palace was holding a dinner for the court. Drake's heart filled with dread as he read the articles but he felt useless.  He tried to push the thoughts of his mind as he faced the mirror, arranging his bow tie. 

Dinner at the palace was starting at 7.30pm. To say that this dinner was now his most dreaded courtly event he had ever been invited to was an understatement. He really didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay in with his wife, share a bottle of whiskey and pretend none of this was going on. 

He looked around to where Camille was sat at her dressing table, lining her eyes with kohl. She was dressed in a red silk dress which showed off her small bump. Her hair was swept up into a chignon and a diamond choker was wrapped around her neck. Drake now wished they could stay home so he could do things to her. 

‘Wow,’ he said, his eyes roaming down her body and back to her face. ‘You look stunning.’ Camille blushed. ‘You look pretty handsome yourself, Walker.’

He extended his arm and she took it. ‘Maybe we can sneak off halfway through like old times,’ she joked. Drake chuckled. ‘Please tell me you’re serious.’

She gave him a smile.  ‘Always am when it comes to you, Drake.’

                     *****************************************************

Their driver dropped them off at the palace. Drake paled when he saw the number of security outside the palace doors. It did not look welcoming.  He placed a hand on the small of Camille’s back and guided her up the palace steps. The doorman let them inside and the smell of jasmine hit them. Liam had gone all out with the jasmine scented candles and lilies. Servants greeted them with a glasses of champagne, which Camille politely declined, and they made their way into the ballroom where 15 round tables were placed around the edges. The French doors opened out onto the Royal Balcony, where a string quartet was arranged and playing their lilting music. 

Drake and Camille were escorted to their table. They both breathed a sigh of relief when they found Maxwell, Bertrand, Hana and Olivia sat around it. 

‘Aaaah you’re here!’ Hana squealed, jumping up to give them a hug. ‘It’s been ages!’

She was always like an excited puppy who greeted their owner after being left alone all day. It was endearing and it was just the sort of happy relief that Camille needed. ‘I’ve missed you too, Hana,’ Camille told her, smiling. The others stood up to hug and kiss them. 

‘Right, more champagne for the table!’ Olivia decided. ‘Except for Camille.’ Another bottle was placed in the ice bucket and Camille settled with water. Drake pulled her chair out of her, ever the gentleman, and she sat down beside Bertrand. He turned to her with a warm smile on his face. ‘Window fixed?’

She nodded. ‘I’m not going to make that into the nursery anymore. It’s too painful.’

‘I wouldn’t expect you to,’ he replied. ‘You’ve got plenty other rooms to choose from anyway. I just want you to be able to relax now. How are you feeling tonight?’

Camille winced. ‘Nervous for Liam. But it’s nice to see all of you.’

Bertrand gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Likewise. Now, enough talk about republics and windows. Tell me, have you got baby names?’

Olivia turned to Drake, skimming her finger along the rim of her champagne glass. She was dressed in a red satin dress, the same colour as Camille; normally she would have been irritated that someone had worn the same colour as her, but for Camille, she made an exception.  ‘I heard you and Liam had words,’ she muttered. Drake took a sip of whiskey and nodded. ‘How do you know?’

‘He told me.’

‘Ah. Yeah, it wasn’t great.’

Olivia took a gulp of her drink and faced him, her face serious. There was a time when Drake would have rather gone without whiskey for a year than speak to Olivia, but now, after everything, they were good friends. She was fiercely loyal, brave and had a kind heart under that hard shell; she was the kind of friend Drake and Camille needed. 

‘I’m with you,’ she admitted. ‘I feel he is being so narrow minded. It’s not like him. I’m terrified he will lose who he is. His goodness. His kindness. But to ask you to put the kingdom before Camille and your baby... no. That was despicable.’  She spat the last word. Drake drew back, alarmed at her disgust. She took another swig of her champagne and looked to where Liam was standing, speaking to his mother. ‘But despite all of that, I love him..’ she murmured, her voice small. Drake watched her over the rim of his glass, taking a deep sip of his whiskey. He needed it. 

Hana and Maxwell brought their chairs round to where Bertrand and Camille sat. They were never that formal at these dinners; they wanted to see their friends and why not defy the seating plan? 

‘I want to be godfather!’ Bertrand was saying, very animated. Camille was laughing. ‘You’re in the running, don’t worry!’

Maxwell clapped his hands. ‘Am I in the running too?!’

Bertrand and Camille stared at him. He sat down quickly. ‘Yeah, I realised as soon as I said that..’

Camille squeezed his hand. ‘You can be the uncle. Uncles are more fun anyway.’

Bertrand widened his eyes in mock shock. ‘Are you saying I’m not fun?’

Hana snorted. 

‘I have seen you at Beaumont Bashes, you can be fun when you want to be,’ Camille replied, giving him a wink. Bertrand chuckled and downed his champagne. He beckoned over a servant. ‘Please can I have another bottle of this wonderful champagne and perhaps a virgin Mojito for my lovely Camille?’

He was quite tipsy now. As soon as he started calling Camille ‘lovely’, that was the beginning of a very interesting spiral. 

The servant nodded and turned to go to the kitchen, accidentally knocking into a group of courtiers, spilling their drinks. Hana groaned. One of the courtiers was Neville, who she had considered marrying until she discovered his arrogance and belief that nobles were better than anybody. Basically, the exact type of noble the anti-monarchists hated.  

‘You’ve ruined my suit jacket!’ he shouted at the servant. ‘Do you not realise how expensive this is?! Get away from me!’ 

The servant ran away from Neville’s wrath. 

Neville looked down at the table and sneered. ‘Look who it is. My favourite non-nobles.’

Bertrand glared at him. ‘You know I am the Duke of Ramsford-’

‘Shut up, Bertrand,’ Neville replied, sounding bored. His eyes went to Hana. ‘Miss Lee. How ravishing you look this evening.’

Hana resisted the need to dry heave. Neville looked around at the table, his eyes settling on Drake. Drake looked up at him, his glass of whiskey nearly at his lips. ‘Ha! Of course, the runt of the litter isn’t drinking champagne.’

Drake clenched the glass and felt Camille place her hand on his arm, trying to stop him from retaliating. Drake took a casual sip and raised his glass in Neville’s direction. ‘Always good to see you too, Neville,’ he replied cooly. Neville’s eyes flashed; he always wanted a fight. He looked at Camille, whose hand was still on Drake’s arm. ‘I meant to say. Congratulations on your new baby.’

Camille smiled politely. ‘Thank you.’

He smirked. ‘Let’s hope it shows it’s worthy of its title, otherwise it’ll be another fake noble runt.’

Drake bolted up from his chair but was only pulled down by Camille. ‘Don’t let him get to you,’ she said under her breath. ‘He’s not worth it.’

Drake gripped the edge of the table, resisting every urge to punch Neville in the face. He couldn’t do that. He was a Duke. His pregnant wife was sat right there. Neville sneered, knowing he had won. 

‘Pah. I feel sorry for you. Being given such a grand title and not knowing how to use it. Liam had no idea what he was doing when he made you both a Duke and Duchess. Idiot.’

Olivia straightened, her face set into a death stare. ‘Don’t you dare speak ill of the king,’ she said, her voice laced with venom. 

‘Everyone is now,’ Neville replied casually. ‘Everyone in court thinks he’s a terrible ruler. He gifts out titles to nobodies. He can’t defend Cordonia. He has left us open to numerous assassination attempts. He is weak. Sometimes, I agree with those commoners who say a republic would be better.’

Bertrand stood up, his face filled with fury. ‘You speak treason,’ he spat. Neville laughed bitterly. ‘I speak the truth.’ 

Drake stood up again, this time ignoring Camille’s attempts to pull him back down, and started to speak.‘You fucker-’

The sound of glass shattering filled the room. Camille screamed, the sound bringing her back to the nursery. The courtiers all gasped and began to shout as more of the windows broke into shards. The sound of chanting filled the air and through the broken windows, the court could see a crowd of around 300 people running towards the palace, throwing rocks. Some were holding signs.  All of them were shouting, ‘Republic! Republic! Republic!’ 

Drake grabbed Camille’s hand and, with his heart hammering against his chest, started to pull her up from her chair. ‘We all need to get of here!’ he cried. Olivia was already armed; she held a dagger in her hand. Her eyes were furious. Hana ran to Camille, her eyes filled with tears. ‘Camille, we have to keep you safe!’ Camille took her hand and squeezed it. Tears were also falling down her cheeks; she was sick of this. Absolutely sick of this. She was sick of the constant fear and anxiety. 

The mob were now trying to get past security, who were trying their best to hold them back. Drake saw Liam, who was running through the ballroom towards them. ‘Guys, up to the Royal Quarters! It’s safer there!’ he told them.

Camille burst into tears, overwhelmed. ‘I just want to be home,’ she sobbed. Drake turned to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. ‘Baby, we can’t go home yet. We need to get upstairs-’

She sobbed harder, knowing she wasn’t being brave. She felt numb as Drake wrapped his arms around her and guided her and Hana , who’s hand was still wrapped around hers, quickly through the ballroom. They were caught up in the flurry of courtiers who were all trying to get out, pushing at each other. Drake shielded her from the crowd, knowing it was every man for himself. They wouldn’t care that she was pregnant. They wouldn’t be careful. 

Hana’s hand clung to Camille’s, refusing to let her go. Drake heard Hana shouting at the courtiers: ‘Camille is pregnant! Stop shoving!’

Drake felt a slight relief. Thank God for Hana. 

The shouting from the mob was louder now, more furious. ‘Republic! Republic!’ 

Finally, Drake got Camille out of the ballroom and he lifted her up, carrying her up the stairs towards the Royal Quarters. He raced up the stairs as fast as he could, followed by Liam, Hana, Olivia, Maxwell and Bertrand. Tears blinding him, he ran for his and Camille’s lives. 

They reached the Royal Quarters and Liam was ahead of them now, a burst of energy flowing through him. He shoved open the door to his suite. Once they were all inside, he locked the door, before keeling down to the floor onto his knees, head in his hands. 

Drake placed Camille onto the bed, his head spinning. Hana stayed close to Camille, covering her hand with hers. Olivia leaned against the sideboard, staring straight ahead, her jaw clenched. Maxwell and Bertrand were holding each other up from the exertion of running up five flights of stairs. The same question was on everyone’s mind. What were they going to do now?

[krsnlove]

As I Am

A/N: A jealous kiss prompt requested by the tumblr bff @alj4890 for Rashad and Hana. This got away from me. I can do drabbles, I swear! But these two demand longer LoL

Rating: PG..13?

Pairing: Rashad x Hana

Tagging: @alj4890 @thecordoniandiaries @vickypoochoices @carabeth @cocomaxley @darley1101 @lodberg

Rashad catches the attention of the bartender on duty. He nods his assent to a refill when Drake fills the stool seat next to him. He, too, orders a drink and takes a long sip before breaking the silence.

“You know usually the birthday boy is out there mingling with his guests,” Drake tells him as he nods his head back to the party going on behind them. Rashad says nothing as he swirls the liquid in his glass. He knew Drake was right but he didn’t care too much to socialize.

All he wanted for his birthday was Hana.

But she had gone through the trouble of planning an elegant birthday dinner. It was thoughtful, really. But the last thing he wanted to see after a 14-hour flight was a house full of people.

He wanted Hana.

Preferably in his bedroom if his birthday wish were to come true at the end of the night.

With her knee-length red dress she was wearing tonight, her long brown hair curled past her shoulders and her skin. Goodness. Hana’s delicate, perfect, caramel skin that always seemed to glow. She was always torturing him and didn’t even know it.

His thoughts are interrupted as an eruption of laughter dominantly fills the room. Rashad turns towards the commotion and sees Hana surrounded by a group of noblemen and business partners alike hanging onto her every word. Rashad isn’t sure if it was the Council or her career that has brought his fiancé out of her shell but he’s grateful for it.

He’s always known Hana was, is, special.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Rashad finally spoke to Drake as he downed the rest of his drink.

In the minute it takes him to get from one end of the room to the other, he allows the effects of the burnt umber drink take over him. The sound of laughter and conversation fill his ears as he is greeted by random guests wishing him another year of good health and fortune. Soft notes of music kept low in the background fill in the awkward silence as Rashad pushes through the crowds of people to get to his fiancé.

“There you are,” Hana’s face immediately lights up as he takes his place by her side. He gives a small nod of acknowledgement to the others as he slides his arm around her waist. Rashad doesn’t know how to explain it but standing by her side tonight, or any other night for that matter, with his arm around her felt...right. Like his life calling was to stand besides Hana.

And he was more than okay with that.

His eyes immediately move to the ring on her left hand and he silently whispers a prayer of gratitude at seeing the ring shine brightly on her petite hand.

The wedding date was set but he feared she would realize she could do better. A lot better. Rashad knew he was marrying up. Hell, you’d have to be both blind and senseless to not notice Hana was out of his league. Sure, he was a successful lawyer and a notable member of the court in his own right but he paled in comparison to her. How she was still available when he came to the social season will forever remain a mystery. But he didn’t want to tempt fate by asking…

“...great time tonight, Rashad,” his thoughts are interrupted as one of his colleagues nudges his arm. He nods his head in agreement as he stares into the eyes of his beloved for a brief moment when a familiar redhead makes her way behind them.

“Is everything okay?,” Hana asks in a low whisper. Rashad’s mouth moved upwards into a small smile at seeing the concern in her eyes. Olivia’s face suddenly broke into a practiced smile to Rashad before it disappeared just as quickly when she faced Hana.

“Somehow I was tasked with fetching you for a ahem, kitchen emergency,” Olivia whispered back. Seeing the panicked look on Hana’s face she continued, “It’s Riley. Her ridiculous pregnancy cravings. She’s raiding the kitchen looking for who knows what,” she grabs Hana’s wrist effectively breaking her away from Rashad’s side and towards the direction of the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back!,” Hana called out as she blew a kiss to Rashad.

Rashad watches her disappear into the crowd and sighs.

“He’s got it bad,” a colleague teased.

“She’ll be back man!,” another colleague added as he clapped Rashad on the back.

“You are one very lucky man,” a nobleman said as he glanced in the direction Hana had gone several seconds ago.

“I know,” Rashad agreed.

“No I mean...you’re ridiculously lucky. I don’t know how you did it. Hana is hot,” the nobleman shook his head as he took a sip from his glass. Rashad chuckles nervously at the attention he was showing Hana. He couldn’t deny what he was saying. Rashad is lucky and Hana is one of the most beautiful women he’s laid his eyes on. Even if he didn’t use that specific word.

Yet, an odd feeling was beginning in the pit of Rashad’s stomach.

“It’s true,” another nobleman adds, “we talk about it all the time. Hana was one of the last good looking ones. If she wasn’t marrying you, I’d love to have her as an extracurricular activity if you know what I mean,” he nudges the other nobleman and they both begin to laugh as if they were in on some sort of inside joke.

That odd feeling in the pit of Rashad’s stomach was growing. And so was his temper.

The two noblemen went on either side of Rashad, still laughing at their joke.

“We’re just having some fun with you. Hana is a great catch. You’re both lucky to have each other,” Rashad nodded his head in gratitude. The uneasy feeling starts to diminish but just barely.

“But I’ll be sure to slip her my number in case you guys don’t work out,” the other nobleman quickly added before nudging Rashad and bursting into a sadistic laugh.

The familiar sensation of Rashad’s fist striking another person’s chin is a feeling he hasn’t felt in awhile. But he was no stranger to it. And he realized he was going to become reacquainted with that feeling soon as he wound his arm back.

Only for Drake Walker to interrupt.

“Easy there,” Drake’s arm pulls him into a half hug as he pushes him away from the two noblemen who have suddenly gone quiet.

“You need to get some fresh air,” Drake told him. Rashad nodded his head in agreement as he thanked his friend and left the room.

It was jealousy. Plain and simple. Even the mere suggestion that he and Hana might not work out, filled him with fear. But the thought of her being with someone else. The notion that he wouldn’t be able to keep her happy. That was enough to drive him to cause bodily harm.

He didn’t need fresh air.

He needed to see Hana. To be near her. To feel her.

It was as if she heard his thoughts because she appeared in the corridor he had wandered down.

“Shahzy?,” her delighted voice filled with curiosity, “what are you doing here?” He quickened his pace to reach her and pulled her into a hug. “Is everything okay?,” she asked in a muffled voice. He says nothing, only wanting to savor this moment, as he caresses her exposed back. He knew he was acting foolish. Hana wouldn’t leave him. She loves him. That had to count for something.

“Hana, I love you-,”

“I love you,” she answers almost as soon as the words leave his own mouth. His heart soars at hearing those three words leave her lips.

He smiles before continuing. “I hope you know that I promise to do whatever I can in my power to make you happy. And that my heart is yours.”

Hana smiles appreciatively at his words, interlocking her hand with his.

“I want you to also know that,” Rashad took a deep breath before continuing, “if the time ever comes where you aren’t happy I’ll understand if you want to leave.”

“Rashad—,”

“No, please. Let me finish,” Hana closes her mouth and he continues the most difficult speech he’s ever given. “Hana, you are nothing short of amazing. Trust me when I say it,” he assures her once seeing the doubtful expression on her face, “I’ve traveled the world and have met a lot of people. But have never come across anyone such as yourself. I knew from the moment we met, you’d have a profound effect in my life and I was right.”

“I also know that I’m not the only one who sees how remarkable you are. And if that day comes,” he stops for a moment again and lets out a sigh, “the day where you aren’t happy with me, I���ll understand. I want you to be happy. Whether it be with me...or someone else.” He looked down at their joined hands and gave a gentle squeeze.

Hana’s smile never falters as she listens to the man she loves pour his heart out. No doubt it was difficult for him. Her own heart ached at the thought of living a life without Rashad.

“You are the sweetest man alive,” she started. “Not a lot of people are willing to give up their own happiness for the sake of another. But you...Rashad, you saw me for who I could become with love and encouragement. You helped me grow. You loved me when I was nothing. How can I ever be unhappy with someone like that?”

The small smile he gives Hana causes her very soul to burst at the sight of this man.

“You are my happiness, Shahzy. There is nothing without you.”

Rashad let out a relieved sigh. That odd feeling he felt earlier tonight was still there though and he didn’t know why. Running a hand through his face, he turns to see a room to his left and found himself leading a confused Hana into the room.

He doesn’t allow for the door of the dark room to fully close when he desperately pulls her to him.

“Should we find a light?,” she asked in her sweet voice. Rashad shook his head no in reply, as if she could see through the darkness. He walks forward causing her to walk backwards until her back is pressed against a wall. He smiles at hearing her gulp at the intimacy of the moment. His heavy hands that were resting on her waist starts to wander up her exposed back. Between the coolness of the wall and the warmth of his touch, Hana’s skin tingle at the opposing sensations.

Her lips are inches from his but Rashad brushes past them as he places a kiss on her bare shoulder. Followed by another kiss. And another. His lips make a trail of kisses from her shoulder to her jaw, pausing at her neck for a brief moment to allow his tongue to tease her. His lips curve into a satisfied smile when he feels Hana’s grip tighten around him.

“What are you doing?,” she whispered breathlessly.

“Showing you how much I love you,” he said in between his kisses. It was as if the words weren’t enough for him. He needed to show Hana. This thought runs through his mind when his lips eagerly find hers in the cloud of darkness they were in.

His bottom lip crashes into the opening of her mouth allowing his tongue to graze the inside of her upper lip causing Hana to gasp at the quick movement. He didn’t wait for her to catch her breath before opening her lips once more with his tongue, expertly maneuvering inside her mouth. The soft moans emitting from her occupied mouth only encourages him as he deepens the kiss. Hana allows Rashad’s lips to rob her of all senses when she slowly lifts her leg and curls it around Rashad’s body, pulling him closer to her.

Hana’s eyes daze with pleasure at the feel of Rashad’s body against her. Normally her conservative demeanor prevented her from engaging in this kind of promiscuous behavior but tonight was different. Rashad’s touch and kisses seems so desperate it endeared her more to him. She found herself easily reciprocating the same passion and energy in her own subtle touching and teasing.

Her thoughts, and his fervent kisses, are suddenly interrupted by a hard knock on the door. Hana’s head turns to the unwelcomed sound while pushing Rashad away, mortified at the reminder this shouldn’t be happening with a room full of people not far from them. Rashad smoothes down his hair and wipes at his mouth attempting to erase evidence of Hana’s lips on him before opening the door.

“There you are!,” Drake’s voice echoes into the darkened room causing a sense of panic within Hana as she hurriedly fixes her own hair and dress.

“Can we help you?,” Rashad asks in an even tone.

“We? Who do you...ohhh. Hey...hey Hana,” Rashad could see Drake’s cheeks color when Hana appeared next to him.

“Hey Drake,” she said timidly. Rashad could see her cheeks color too and smiled at the sight. Even when embarrassed, Hana’s beauty only intensifies. It almost wasn’t fair he thought to himself. “Is everything okay?,” she asked.

“Yeah. Just wanted to thank you guys for the free drinks and uh, to have a good night,” Drake hesitates for a moment and then continued upon seeing the perplexed look on the betrothed couple, “Olivia made sure I came to say goodnight before leaving,” he said bitterly.

“Oh. Well you’re welcome,” Hana said with a smile as she reached out to pull him into a hug. “We should probably wish the rest of our guests a goodnight as well,” Hana said turning back to Rashad.

“Oh that won’t be necessary,” Drake said chuckling.

“Sorry?,” Rashad asks.

“I cleared out the party for you. Happy Birthday man,” Drake tells him with a wink before walking back down the corridor and disappears behind a corner.

Rashad isn’t sure when Drake started doing him favors but he doesn’t question it. He turns to look at the most beautiful woman in the world who is standing there, with a smile that could lighten up any darkened room.

“Let’s go,” he tells her but instead of taking her hand he suddenly sweeps Hana off her feet, bridal-style. She gasps at the quick movement and breaks into a laugh, a sound he never grows tired of.

“Shahzy, it’s not our wedding night! What are you doing?”

The arrogant smile on his face is one Hana doesn’t see much but when his lips smirk in that way, her knees grow weak.

“My birthday wish. It came true,” he tells her as he carries her to his bedroom.

[thequeenofcronuts]

Justify My Love - Chapter 4 - Be OK, Pressing On

Book: The Royal Romance Word Count: 4,835-ish Pairing: Maxwell x MC (Kristina Hampshire), Hana, Drake, OCs

Warnings - Language 

A/N In this TRR kinda sorta off cannon Series: Kristina (MC) decides she cannot stay in Cordonia after the events of the Coronation Ball. Not so much caring about her own reputation, but caring for the life of the man she has been falling for, which is not the prince. She returns to New York and is faced with her heartbreak and regret while Maxwell is left in Cordonia struggling to understand the truth behind his feelings. Will they let each other go?

**All characters and named places are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Rights to the songs lyrics and  titles in this series belong to:

Justify My Love (Madonna) - Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reach Music Publishing, BMG Rights Management

Be OK (Ingrid Michaelson) - Cabin 24 Records

Pressing On (Relient K) - Universal Music Publishing Group

Series Tags @littleblossom357 @alj4890 @cosigottahavefaith

——————————

Kristina's POV

- Be OK -

Kristina still hasn't opened up to Daniel about her time abroad…at all…and it's been weeks since she returned. They do talk every day, but it's mainly because Daniel calls her. She goes to work and comes home, and that is it. Except for her days off when she chooses to just stay home the whole time. Truthfully, he is starting to get rather nervous about her lack of socialization and her apparent lack of any true emotion. She just plasters on a fake smile for work. It's been awhile since he has seen a glimpse of the real Kristina he knows is still in there somewhere. It's time to call in reinforcements, he decides.

He reaches out to his best friend from back home, Stephen, and his wife, Lisa. The first time Kristina met the couple, over a year and a half ago, they instantly became friends. They all share the same dry and sarcastic sense of humor, enjoy lots of witty banter, and are all around Kristina's type of people. Daniel decides to make the FaceTime call to the couple. During the call Stephen quips, “Ok, so Lisa and I get that you're telling us that Kris is currently an emotional wreck without the emotions part…” Lisa cuts off her husband, “but can you give me an example. Girls are better suited to break down these kind of things.” Daniel chuckles with a sound thick of disbelief. “Ok Professor Reader of the Female Mind, last week I brought a box over filled with one of her all time favorite treats.” “Ok, so we’re talking cronuts.” “Lisa, let the man speak before you go all girl detective. Proceed Daniel.” “Ok, yes I thought a box of them could help her mood. Boy was I wrong. She basically went from tears, to sobs, to yelling, and then stormed out of her apartment to the laundry room in the basement of the building.” “Dude, I know I’m just a guy here,” Stephen shoots Lisa a look of feigned cluelessness, “but why the basement laundry room? Oh magnificent Lisa, explain this piece of your investigative puzzle.” Daniel jumps in, “When you see the size of her studio apartment you’ll understand why she sought out her privacy in there.” “And that's it Daniel” Lisa asks, “she ran from a box of cronuts? … Yeah, I got nothing. I’ll concede that this is way above the girl code of understanding.” Stephen tries to contain his triumphant laughter, but just can't. “Way to go all things woman super sleuth!” “Ok, ok, but we have to figure this out. Who knew a delicate pastry would be our beginning lead? We’ll be there asap.” Lisa says then ends the phone chat.

Daniel got the exact reaction from Kristina he expecting as he told her the couple was coming for a visit, “I know I always do the itinerary for their visits, but this visit it is up to Lisa. So have her plan it since I am adamant about not being apart of any of it.” Kristina said coldly. A few days later Lisa took the duty on and planned Operation Crack Open Kristina. This was meant to crush the shell that was becoming Kristina; and by the time Lisa had finished the itinerary the plan was set into motion. Unbeknownst to Kristina she was heading on a weekend trip to Atlantic City. The Hotel was booked, Daniel had a rental car scheduled, and the choices for entertainment were set.

The day Lisa and Stephen’s flight landed Daniel took them straight to Kristina's for the ambush. They stood in her doorway telling her that the weekend retreat was imminent. Which Kristina calls it a friendly form of forced kidnapping. Lisa just giggles as she she packs Kristina’s overnight bag as Kristina was strongly voicing her concerns as a protest for the trip. “I don't “go” out to places any more and I don't want to start now….. Atlantic City is too far from the city for just a couple of days and one night…..I hadn't planned for something like this so I don't have the money….” All to which Daniel, Stephen, and Lisa easily counters.

Daniel - “Kris, it's just roughly a two hour drive to Atlantic City, so a weekend trip is completely doable.”

Stephen - “The three of us are splitting the trip. Two adjoining rooms and the rental car are easily covered by Daniel and us.”

Lisa - “Today is the day you go from “don't go places” to getting out of this apartment, now.”

Lisa tosses Kristina the overnight bag while Stephen claps his hands with a triumphant look, “And……mic dropped…so off we go.”

Not too long later they’re on the road while Kristina is shaking shaking her head thinking to herself, I really love these people, I do, just not so much this weekend. She settles into the passenger seat with a dramatic sigh which is completely ignored by her companions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Kristina watches through the window, of the surprisingly nice and comfy rental car, the world whizz by while chatter fills the vehicle. She puts in her earbuds to drown it all out and picks a playlist that she recently made tapping shuffle. The music cancels out all the noise when the first song plays, which is one of her current favorites. Sometimes song lyrics coincide with the exact emotions of your thoughts and heart. She closes her eyes and gets lost in the song….

‘I just want to be okay, be okay, be ok I just to be okay today I just want to be okay, be okay, be ok I just to be okay today

‘I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today’…

Daniel looks over and lightly smacks Kristina's knee to get her attention, so she takes out one earbud to pause the song. “What Daniel?” She looks over and arches an eyebrow at him. He looks over again and answers, “Kris, are you going to join us in our amazing conversations? Maybe sometime soon?”. “Daniel, just please watch the road,” she answers, “we don't need to add an accident to this crazy weekend.” Stephen yells from the backseat, “Yeah, crazy awesome weekend here we come!” Kristina looks over her shoulder while narrowing her eyes in a glassy stare, “ Stephen, that wasn't the actual sentiment I was going for with my statement.” He retorts jovially, “ I know, but we gotta get you out of this funk you’ve been swimming in girl!”

Kristina crosses her arms and huffs, her mind answers, It's not a funk and you have no idea. “Just because you and Lisa have a wonderful marriage and Daniel is now serious with Mitch, doesn't prove that ‘There's someone for everyone’. Every hopeless romantic likes to remind their single friends this. ‘Just wait and see, it will happen for you.’ Well I hate to spoil the dream, but waiting for the person that makes you whole is a crock of shit.” Daniel looks in the rear view mirror at Lisa and Stephen and Lisa throws them a knowing look…they just witnessed a bit of Kristina's shell cracking.

“Speaking of couples, why am I going on this trip? Shouldn't this be a couples thing? Where's your boyfriend Daniel?” There's a slight tone of disgust in her voice. Daniel blows air through his lips, man she's even more stubborn than when she decided that it was a fabulous idea to fly off to a distant country on a whim. “Mitch couldn't get off work.” Daniel stated while he shrugged his shoulders. Unbeknownst to Kristina, the group never intended for Mitch to go. And since they had a “can't be cancelled” reservation, they “needed” her to come. They explained that because the trip was bit expensive it needed to happen. Lisa pipes into the conversation, “Reason number one: Look at it this way, Kris, you need to get out and live, Mitch’s inability to go provides the opportunity! Just going to work doesn't count as going out and experiencing life” Stephen adds “"Reason B we needed you to come to have an even number.” I know you all think this is some intervention type thingy, but not going to work. Kristina internally says to herself. Kristina sends icy daggers to the group.

“Man Daniel, can you turn the heat on because it just got cold in here!” Lisa smacks Stephen’s arm and whispers, “I don't think the brand of humor you’re attempting is going to work right now, so can it.” Daniel continues, “While Mitch’s job comes with vacation time Kris, it doesn't mean he gets to take it on a whim. It's not like that in retail.” “Oh riiiight,” she says with an almost playful but still flat tone, “That’s right, Mitch is a manager at a big time department store.” Kristina gives a rye smile, “So I guess while he works, you get to go out and play. Sounds like you're a ‘gold digger’ to me Daniel.” It's silent in the car for a moment and Stephen can't hold it in. “Shit Kris, that was….an actual joke. Hold the presses we have breaking news! Kristina Hampshire almost cracked a smile as she totally dissed one of her BFFs!” He wears a sarcastic, mocking look of horror and when Kristina sees it over her shoulder she throws a balled up wrapper from her breakfast sandwich, hitting him right in the mouth. “Shut it Stephen.” “Sweet Kris, looks you still do human emotions! Man, Lets go PAR-TAAAAAY!!

Party…of all the words he could say, any other word, he yells party. Shit, really?! Why do the gods torture me? Kristina's mind goes immediately to Maxwell. Well honestly there really isn't a moment he doesn't consume her thoughts. Her face instantly sours. “Ugh, I so LOVINGLY HATE you all! So just drop it. DROP.IT. Drop ALL of it.” Lisa reaches from the backseat and gives Kristina's shoulder a gentle squeeze, as she understands that patients is the only way to crack through more of Kristina's shell. So she changes the subject. “Sleeping arrangements. We have two adjoining rooms. Kristina and I will share one and have some girl time. If you see the adjoining door is shut stay the fuck out. Got it boys?” They nod as if their mother had just grabbed them by the ear for a good scolding. “Otherwise we all can enjoy time together.”

Quite fills the cabin of the car again. Daniel turns on the radio for something to listen to, while the other three put in earbuds. Kristina has ended all conversion…for now. She rests her head back onto the window and closes her eyes while the song that paused picks up where it left off and her mind drifts…

Maxwell had his phone connected to a pretty decent pair of portable speakers in Kristina's room. The music is blaring as it was a rare night with no scheduled court functions due to the day being a travel day, to Applewood Manor. And….what made it unbelievably more awesome was Bertrand decided to forgo any lessons or lectures for the night. He had a fairly bad headache, and while they felt sorry for him, Kristina and Maxwell decided to use every second of this unexpected and glorious freedom. They moved some furniture around the room giving them a nice space as a dance floor, and with the music pumping, pajamas donned, and snacks acquired the private VIP party began.

Kristina nearly lost all of her composure when she got a glimpse of Maxwell's sea blue pajamas with an orange squid pattern. She was uncontrollably laughing at the sight and asked, “Where is the calypso music, Maxwell? Are we under the sea?” He just sauntered to the center of their “dance floor” spinning on the ball of his left foot stopping to face her in a ‘Charlie’s Angels’ type pose. Kristina's collapsed on the bed laughing so hard she could barely speak. She managed to get out, “H-how…do…you…know…” huge breath then continues to cackle, “How…you do know…Charlie’s…Angels….?” Maxwell puts his hands on his hips, looking at her with a serious face, and he answers matter of factly,  “ Come on Kristina, hello, the internet. You might want to watch some videos on there sometime. Maybe one of these day you can look at some tutorial videos and manage to keep up with my smooth moves.” His eyebrows wiggle and Kristina throws a pillow at him. “I think my moves are more than acceptable. Thank you very much.” Maxwell walks over to the bed, bows dramatically and offers her his hand. She takes it and she began to shimmy and shake to the beat, while Maxwell stood back with his arms crossed shaking his head in a mock of disapproval. “Not bad Kristina, my young grasshopper, but let the master teach you his ways.”

After a while of dancing they were breathless and decided to take a break. Sitting on the floor with Kristina rested her head on Maxwell’s shoulder he began to show her some of his favorite internet videos and memes that left them both in stitches. Neither one had laughed like they did that night in so long. It's not Bertrand sets aside time for frivolity in his daily agenda. Laughing until they were in pain Maxwell spontaneously jumped up and pulled Kristina up with him. “I’ve got a second wind, so it's time for the master to test the moves he so masterfully taught you.”

Kristina soon was mesmerized by Maxwell and the way his body moved. She stepped back to observe, okay possibly ogle him as he was going seamlessly from one form of type of dance moves into another. While he wasn't quite as muscular as Liam or Drake, dancing certainly did benefit his physique. Between that and his carefree spirit with a heart of gold he pulled her in unexpectedly. Finally he again grabbed Kristina by the hand bringing her close to dance. Bam, she feeling butterflies in her stomach and was a bit dizzy. Problem was this dance didn't seem to affect him the same way. Kristina don't go there. Keep this as the easy, happy friendship it is. While thinking all of this and losing her focus she ends up tripping falling to the ground while they both uncontrollably giggled. Just as Maxwell leaned down to help her up, while he was looking right into her eyes, there is a rather loud thumping on the door. Maxwell went to turn the music down and grabs an apple from the nightstand while Kristina jumps up and opens the door to find a rather grumpier than usual Drake. How can he be even more grouchy than usual. Must be a natural talent.

Drake stands outside her door in a white t-shirt, and lounge pants, with his hair tussled in all directions. “Ummm, hi Drake. Were we bothering you?” Kristina tried so hard to stifle her snickers as his disheveled appearance. Maxwell yelled, “Hey buddy, want to join the party?” and Kristina stepped aside to let Drake into the room. After three steps he finds Maxwell lounging on the bed munching on the apple. “Beaumont, I should have known.” Drake says with bite to his tone. “Do you two know what time it is? Some people are trying to sleep.” Drake exasperatedly taps on his wrist watch, while Kristina notices something odd in his balled up hand.

“Watcha got there, Walker?”  Drake uncomfortably shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh…well what the hell? Might as well tell you…ear plugs.” Maxwell eagerly jumps into the conversation. “What do you need ear plugs for, Drake?” He looks at him with half a smirk. Nervously Drake tries to find his words carefully. “Uh, well, um,…” Drake closes eyes so he won't have to look at either of them while he explains, “When traveling with court you never know where your assigned bedroom will be located. And you know how a lot of nobles are. So, earplugs are always good for not having to listen to all the sounds of their, uhhh, extracurricular activities.” Before Kristina can even start to laugh at poor Drake, Maxwell turns to her and quickly lets out, “So, Kristina, what Drake is telling us is we’re louder than two nobles.” He wiggles his eyebrows. As she and Maxwell burst into fits of laughter Drake turns a deep shade of red, curses under his breath while turning back on his heel leaving, slamming the door behind him.

Kristina can't stand it any longer as she is laughing so hard it is literally painful. She falls back onto the bed next to Maxwell and it takes what feels like forever for both to get ahold of their composure. After a few minutes of comfortable silence Kristina turns her head towards him. “Hey Maxwell, I really enjoyed tonight and hanging out with you.” Maxwell turns to respond and Kristina notices how close they are, almost noses touching. “Awww Kristina, me too.” For just a few seconds Kristina feels the anticipation of a kiss, but Maxwell, in no way catching the drift, ruffles her hair and sits up. “Well, we should get some sleep. It won't be long until I’ll be knocking on your door for your morning wakeup call. I’ll come by a little early and help you get the room back together.” Kristina nods, and gets up as he does. Walking him to the door he gives her a big bear hug as he tells her good night while he walks out her door. Kristina quietly leans her back against the now close door and sighs. Her heart flutters as she thinks about being so close to him, and thinking they were so close to a moment. She walks over to turn off the light and flops down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling with a dreamy smile. She knew she was now seriously in trouble. The Crown Prince was the furthest thing from her mind.

Kristina is brought back to the present by a bump in the road and opens up her eyes seeing her reflection in the window. A small smile fades as fast as it graces her lips. She didn't even realize that while she was reliving that night she had subconsciously replayed the song.

‘Open me up and you will see I’m a gallery of broken hearts I’m beyond repair let me be And give me back my broken parts’

‘Just me back my pieces Just give them back to me please Just give back my pieces And let hold my broken parts’

——————————

Maxwell’s POV

- Pressing On -

Drake as never been so happy to be off a plane, and even more elated when Maxwell spots Hana in the baggage claim area. Seeing her, leaving Drake behind, he runs to pick her up and swing her in a circle. As Hana giggles, “Maxwell put me down. While I am happy we are untied again, save that enthusiasm for Kristina.” Maxwell complies and steps back mouth agape. “How do you know that I was thinking about what you know, that I didn't know, but now I know, and you know that I know, but you just found out that I know what I didn't know which you already knew?” Hana shakes her head and squeezes Maxwell's shoulder. “Just a guess seeing your current enthusiasm, and manic force of energy.” She winks at Drake who has caught up to them giving her a “save me” look.

“Now let's get our luggage, check-in to the hotel and grab something to eat.” Hana gently takes control. “And Maxwell,” Drake says seriously while looking into the hyperactive eyes of the guy in front of him, “absolutely no caffeine in any form for the rest of the day. I’d rather not strangle you…today at least.” Hana gives Drake a pointed stare.” “Guys, all of this is to clear Kristina's name and hopefully bring her back to Cordonia. We all miss our best friend so much, and hopefully we can also give her and Maxwell chance to figure things out. So let’s all get along.”  “Fine” Drake huffs. “But you are responsible for him.” She sighs a happy sigh, “It's good to be back together. Now onward and upward to get our girl back.” Hana skips ahead.

The three settle into their hotel rooms ordering room service delivered to Hana’s room. While eating they catch up on their lives since the Coronation Night, which mainly meant letting Maxwell know what has been happening while he locked himself away from the world. Drake was actually there for it all, so he was tuning in and out of the conversation.

Hana explains to Maxwell that once she returned home to Shanghai her parents were less than pleased with what they considered the most major failure of their family’s life due to her fruitless Social Season. Soon after her arrival home her parents started working on finding a match for Hana themselves. Fortunately a few weeks later she was called back to court with the offer that there were possible “advantageous matches” she shouldn't miss. She knew without a doubt the invitation was facilitated by the new King.

Her parents were quite pleased and allowed Hana return almost immediately when the offer was received. With Kristina gone and Kiara as the future queen they saw a perfect opportunity for her return. When back in Cordonia she spent her time working with Drake to find Tariq and hopefully Kristina. Several “potential matches” Kiara knew that would appease Hana’s parents gave them time for their search. Maxwell showed his concern for Hana, but Hana knew she would deal with the consequences from her parents. She also thought a real match might be possible since there was no more pressure to marry a prince. Really she desperately wanted her best friend back and to happy together more than anything. What Hana kept to herself was the hope that she might be able to stay as Kiara had briefly mentioned a place for her in the palace. It was allowed for Drake, why not her too?

Once they had finished eating Hana explained the events of the Royals since Kristina was dragged out of the palace. Some parts Maxwell knew, as there news that was impossible to escape from with Bertrand around. For instance, Liam had chosen Lady Kiara, a surprise to all for certain, for his queen. More surprising was that the King Father was quite happy with the match. With her intelligence, diplomatic background, communication abilities, and her father’s connections Lady Kiara brought more to the position of queen than any of the other suitors. Plus she had, what Liam sensed of the remaining suitors, the best temperament for the role of his queen. The Queen Mother on the other hand was not as pleased with the match of course, as Madeleine lost the crown for a second, and final, time. Though she couldn't deny the qualities Lady Kiara possessed, which meant  ultimately she had no say.

Then Hana began to patiently answer Maxwell's incessant questions on things important to him which he did miss while ignoring his friend’s attempts to contact him. “Hana, has Liam really fallen out of love with Kristina? I mean I find it hard to believe considering all I saw with him in New York, and with her beyond. Bertrand and I were certain he was going to, well going to propose to her.” Maxwell looked at Hana in disbelief. Hana continued, “While Liam was certainly heartbroken losing the chance of possible true love, he still put his country first.” Drake added in a sort of bitter tone, “I don't think there was any surprise in that. Country and responsibilities first. No matter the circumstances, even if the love of his life was literally dragged out of the palace and sent back to America. Of course he would still choose country.”

Maxwell looks out the window before he speaks again. “Yeah Drake, but I still seriously cannot believe he just falls out of love and lets her go. That there was a Prince, going to be King, who seemed to be head over heels for Kristina, but she doesn't end up loving him or wanting him. That she supposedly loved me. Things like this don't happen. Especially for screw ups like me.” Hana saw the hurt the behind his his eyes and lightly put a hand on his knee, while Drake went to the mini bar. “Did I just waste that whole damn plane ride. You got off the plane on cloud nine and now we're basically back to square one. I need whisky.” Drake just shakes his head. Hana turns sharply to Drake while in a calm, even voice. “What, do you expect Drake. That Maxwell, who is just processing all of this would immediately suspend all his disbelief and uncertainty. Don't we all question the prospect of love even if we are hit with it by a two by four?” Drake turns to the window, “Fine, fine. Just get on with this.”

Hana continues. “With Kiara’s abilities made obvious to court, and figuring that he and Kiara were amiable, Liam decided that there was no way to know what the future could hold for himself and Kiara. She is a lovely woman with fantastic qualities for his Queen. So yes Maxwell, no matter if it was love or infatuation he had with the new possibilities of love I can believe that he chose Kiara honestly.” Maxwell contemplated the answers he was given and went to his next question. “So, if we find Tariq, get him to give the statement and convince Kristina to come home, how are we certain this works…” he hangs his head, “…for her and me?” Drake takes this one, “You don't. Who ever does, but if you give up after all I’ve done up to this point I will leave you here in LA, and have you find your own way back home. So quit the moping again, and just press on with all of this.” Hana sighs, “While Drake has a somewhat harsh and tangled point, we do just have to go by faith. But we know you love her, and as her best friend I truly believe in my heart that I’m right about her loving you.”

Hana continues. “ I can't deny that Liam will always hold a special place in his heart for Kristina, but things do change with time. Much to our surprise, Kiara amazed him by understanding his need for Kristina in his life. Not to be mistaken as any kind of “arrangement”, but Kiara sees a friendship for both Liam and herself with Kristina.” Maxwell interrupts, “But why? That makes no sense. Well, none of this sounds believable. Especially when there are kings and queens involved. How can I even have a place in this story? So Kiara is just ok with all this, and Liam accepts it all?” Drake looks at Hana and thinks to himself, How on earth is this woman so patient with him? “Maxwell, during the Social Season Kiara became to enjoy Kristina, and even formed an alliance with her. She also saw the bond that we,” Hana points to the three of them, “that we all share. Plus she is not a fool. She saw the spark in Kristina's eyes whenever you were together. You've got to admit you two spent pretty much everyday together. Reading people and their body language is kind of a major part of the diplomatic side of her. And with that Kiara doesn't see Kristina a threat. Plus, if we get Kristina back to you, we all benefit. That works for a woman with a diplomatic mind, like Kiara.”

Maxwell thinks for awhile, trying to believe all this information. Finally Drake breaks in, “Beaumont, I need more whiskey, so think on your own time. I say we walk the area to see where we are in reference to the locations we have for Tariq and then find a bar. With lots and lots of whiskey.” The two agree with him and leave the hotel. While Hana and Drake look at maps on their phones and discuss where they will start the search in the morning, Maxwell drops behind them with his mind going in a thousand different directions which are on top of the normal thousands of thoughts he has all the time. So, I need to try. Going home now would just be wrong, right? Yeah, I can do this. It may actually work out, and I’m already here and can't sit back anymore or I lose her for sure. Ok. Drake is right…I’m pressing on.

[staarblaster]

Chapter Three

Hey, guys, before I upload chapter three I want to add another really boring announcement. School starts up again in tomorrow days, and I know my uploading schedule will be scarce. However, I will try to have chapters up whenever I can. Anyways here is chapter three and four, four is going up with a separate post. My posting schedule will be pretty random and I will post when I can. Also,, I’m gonna take a hiatus, for a month(?) 

Chapter Three

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself”-Mark Twain

Perfection (n):  the embodiment of being perfect

My grandmother was my hero when I was little she would tell me stories about her childhood. Growing up her father was a sound technician for MGM and her mother did the makeup and sometimes the celebrities would come over on special occasions like her birthday.

I suppose that’s what prompted her to want to work in the media and journalism.

She used to tell me stories of her adventures,  across Europe and her interviews with varying monarchies. It was on a train back to California where she met my grandfather,  she was drinking a scotch soda, which unbeknownst to him was more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends who were coming down to California, she was drinking a scotch soda, unbeknownst to him had more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends, she watched in silence with both curiosity and intrigue, occasionally getting glares from the men sitting around the table.

She watched as her future husband flushed hundreds, more like thousands of dollars into the game until she confidently said she was going to play next which got a few hearty chuckles, which caused her to roll her eyes, most of them were drunk and she had a very good poker face.  As the game commenced she managed to not just win back the money but two engagement rings, a pocket watch, and even her husband’s heart.

She used to tell me at the end of every story that curiosity and wit were our greatest gifts and with them, we could solve any mystery.

But once she died she became like a ghost, pictures of her were removed, only leaving rumors of her behind.

I couldn't let her disappear, so I decided to conduct my own private investigation.

When I was a little kid and I found a picture of her and my grandfather and my mom. I smiled as I held my first real lead.

In the picture, my grandparents looked so happy and then I noticed my mom hiding behind her leg. Slowly and gently I tried to remove the picture from the frame,  and as I slowly got it out my mom ripped the picture from my hands.

Her facial expression was a bright beet red as she violently ripped it out of my hands.

“Why can't you just play your role, Juliana? For once I'd like if you kept your nose of business that doesn't even involve you. ”

I felt the tears swell up inside of me. But, instead of fighting back my better instincts (crying) I immediately hugged my mom.

She sighed,

“I love you Jules...  sometimes I wish you'd be normal. Can you do that for me please?”

I nodded my head up and down slowly.

As she tucked me in again,  she kisses my head and holds the photograph in her hands, the next day I decided to take a little more time to try and fit in.

From then on stopped keeping my blonde hair up and let it down, I ditched my glasses for my more comfortable contacts.

I started to get involved more but it never seems to be enough for my parents. They kept insisting that I should do more, eventually leading me to dance and violin lessons (fortunately only lasting two years).

In the dance class, I realized that I was going to need ”subjects” after all a queen couldn't lead on her own.

In the dance class, I found the Chrissy's, they seem to have the dance studio under their boot heel.

If I could “liberate” them perhaps they'd follow me.

It didn't take long before I eventually made two friends in the class, Ophelia and Madison.

Madison was at least five foot eight and according to the Chrissy's had two left feet. She had light dyed purple hair and her eyes were a light Hazel although she seems like the last person that would be in the dance class she could actually dance pretty well. She would put the facade of insecurities but with confidently dance to Tchaikovsky. She was free to express who she was, as dancing was apart of her.

Ironically, however, being raised by a single dad and four brothers she had to keep the tougher shell in class for the sake of showing fragility. However, once she opened up she was loyal, dedicated and a really good listener.

Ophelia had a caramel skin tone, she was shy and had a shortened forearm but had the biggest heart.

She would walk dogs, and volunteer anywhere to show that she wasn't a girl with just a short arm.

As our friendship blossomed we decided that we would have a come have a “dance battle” against the Chrissy’s which was seen as ridiculous. But my girls and I were ready we could be successful.

However, on the day of our “battle” Ms. Clarke surprised us with all one-on-one auditions with Warren Academy, i.e one of the most prestigious art boarding school, it was basically Teen Julliard. Not everyone would make it in (obviously), but if you did you had potential to be a Broadway legend.

Krissy and I were unfortunately paired together and our theme was duality. One of us would play the person staring into the mirror “angel” and the other would play the reflection the “devil”.

Of course, yours truly got stuck playing the devil and Krissy had to defeat me. Everything was going smoothly but as soon as I was getting ready to give Krissy my final blow Krissy had stepped on my ankle hard.

She claimed that it was an accident only to tell her friends that was indeed deliberate which prompted a) Warren offered me a full scholarship b) my parents threatened to sue the dance studio and Krissy's parents of criminal action weren't taken.

Eventually, it was with Krissy being sent to juvie for two to five years.

As I began to start at my new school Maddie, Ophelia and I began to drift away from each other. I had to do well in this Art School even if I was alone.

Over time I gained a sort of popularity stemming from the incident with my ankle it just started casually saying that I broke it following an audition and then warping into a story of me breaking it while I was on a Broadway stage.

My attempts to quell the rumors only spawn more rumors and newfound popularity and a new boyfriend. My life completely changed when I entered Warren and I never expected any more changes.

---

Wednesday’s were personally my favorite day of the week: Dance team and theatre practice. We were putting on the musical Chicago.

I had gotten lucky and was allowed to the Assistant Choreographer.

Between that and balancing four classes, two of which being Advanced Placement it was a miracle I could stay focused.

I heard my phone’s alarm going off as well as an obnoxiously loud knock.  I tried to stop my alarm which was Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall from the speakers of my phone which I did kind of successfully.

I opened the door, I saw one of the girls from my dance team, her face was completely flushed, it was clear that she had ran to see me.

Her breathing was hitched, I awkwardly invited her inside my single room, and got her some water to drink which she drank eagerly. I recognized her immediately, she was Hana Andersen, a shy yet over-eager freshman on the dance team. She was a little rusty but was a little ball of energy when it came to freestyle.

“Han you wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked carefully.

My door was closed, so no one could see the empathy I had hidden for years.

Her hands started to shake and I gently started to coax her into speaking, and she gently took a small breath.

“I-I...Don’t think I’m fit to be at Warren,” she whispers.

Her tone is soft and a bit distressed, but still sad nonetheless.

I nodded,  gently taking her hand,

“You know.. I think you do. Everyone’s been in your shoes at least once. Hell, even you can’t expect to become a star overnight. If you want I can help you, at least if you want me too?”

Hana’s eyes light up as well as faintly brimmed with tears and she nods overzealously and immediately hugs me.

“Thank you! Thank you, Juliana...Jules!”

I nod and look at the time, 7:25 am. Shit, if  I’m not careful I’m going to miss breakfast.

“Meet in my room before dinner?”

She nodded again, as she opened the door and smiled, and said

“Pink Floyd's my brother’s favorite! ”

I smile and lie effortlessly,

“Same with mine.”

I closed the door behind me, I looked at the time again, 7:32. There was no way I was going to get breakfast in time, I had to take a shower and get ready for my advanced English class across campus.

I frowned, going straight to the back of my room grabbing my lilac and rosewater body wash.

I pulled out my school sweater and a pair of leggings, fortunately, there was also a pair of flats by my bed frame.

I grabbed my ID plus my shower stuff and was surprised at the silence as I walked through the hallway of my residence hall.

It was a nice contrast from the usual hustle and bustle I usually experienced which came from running several clubs and homework as well as living in New York.

As I got out of the shower and put on my “runway” outfit and I was greeted with several texts from my Dance Team Group chat and Jaxson (my boyfriend).

Where are you 😟

We’re abt to go on!! 💃🏻💃🏿👯

hey babe, dunno if you forgot lol u dont forget. First classes are canceled. the big pep rally with the new students. the dance team is looking for u! 8:25!

My eyes widened in shock, how could I have forgotten that. There was no time to change and I couldn’t miss this especially with the rumor of a Broadway talent scout in the audience.

I texted them both back

On my way!! ✨💜

I grabbed my backpack, my English Book and quickly ran to the gymnasium and I saw my team about to go out on the floor.

“H-hey! I’m here!”

Jaxson immediately hugs me,

“Jules! Thank god! ”

I smiled immediately kissing his cheek.

“Let’s get this show on the road!”

“You’re gonna kill it!” Jaxson said excitedly.

As we get ready to get on the dance floor Hana looks at me and then looks awkwardly at  Victoria who is scowling at me.

Victoria was about 5’7”, dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes, she was the lead in the musical who personally wanted my job as the assistant choreographer.

“What the fresh hell are you wearing?!” she hisses at me as we enter the gym.

I ignore her for a moment, but for a moment smile,

“I’m just showing school spirit”

As the music starts, I feel like I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, people murmuring to each other and then I make eyes with the talent scout. Her eyes are a cold and piercing amberish hazel and I can feel my hands shaking and I get cold and sweaty, it goes black almost immediately.

---

I’m in the woods, its calm, and  I know I’m not home. The surroundings are familiar yet strange and I could assume this could only be how this is how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole.

I turn for a moment, seeing a girl, she couldn’t be older than me but if she is it has to be a least a year’s difference.

She looks at me with a small smile, there is a quartz crystal crown on her head. She walks closer to me, gently placing a warm hand on my cheek. Her voice is calm as she gently says.

“You need to wake up. We’ll meet again soon Jules. I promise”

My eyes shoot open and I realized that I was in the nurse’s office and I see Jaxson is holding my hand. He smiles looking at me with calm jade green eyes.

“You feeling okay?”He gently squeezed my hand.

Jaxson opens his mouth to start talking, almost immediately the school nurse comes in.

“You had a textbook anxiety attack. I’d recommend resting, I’ll write you a note excusing you from class. Just collect your homework.” she says as she writes something down on a blue slip of paper.

Jax holds my hand as I get out of the cot, and I take the blue slip from the nurse’s hand.

“Take it easy Jules... Don’t overexert yourself.” the nurse recommended.

As we exited the office Jax kissed my cheek, and walk around the campus to collect my textbooks.

“You wanna get lunch at my parent’s place. You didn’t get to eat breakfast today.”

I  was about to say yes but I got a text from Reyna, Victoria’s understudy for the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago.

Can u pls pls help w All that Jazz 😟

I sighed, telling myself I’d eat dinner, besides Reyna was more important especially with the show being the first mark as a choreographer. Sure, I had choreographed the dance team routines but this was bigger.

“We can grab lunch tomorrow?”

Jaxson kisses my forehead and walks off.

“Of course love”

Sure np! Lemme drop off my books.

I put my phone in my pocket, and I notice a tour going on the group looks pretty excited, but as the group gets closer, one of the girls sticks out.

She has a small silver stud in her right nostril, and her brown hair has been cut short. But otherwise, her other features look the exact same from when we were kids.

Under my breath, I silently muttered out of fear and confusion.

“Krissy?”

It couldn’t be, could it?

I unlocked the door to my dorm and dropped off my books and texted Reyna to let her know that I was on my way. As I walked into the room I checked my old group chat, the last messages were old invitations and good luck messages from Ophelia and Maddie.

Hey, I know I haven’t been on here much but I’m p sure I saw Krissy? Wanna meet for some 🍕 Maybe @ 7  ✨💜

I shove my phone into my pocket and heading to the music room and I see Reyna stretching on the bar, as she finishes, she notices me and gives me a smile.

“Ready?” I ask her curiously as I set up the music track up on my phone.

She nodded,

“As I’ll ever be.”

I nod,

“5...6, 7,8” As I hit the play button and watched her sing and dance, there were instances where she’s strong like her singing, but her dancing gets sloppy when the chorus hits. When I break down the routine, Rey starts to look and sound polished and I considered starting the routine of the Cell Block Tango when the bell rings, bringing lunch and our practice to a close.

“Thanks, Jules! You’ve saved my ass!” She hugs me happily and walks off.

I smiled and head back to my room ordering some lunch cause I am starving, I order a simple grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, and as soon as I arrive I feel so much better and start with writing out my notes.

---

As the day slowly begins to wind down, slowly begins to wind down, I can see the sun begin to set. I check the old group chat for anything from my last message about Krissy and is met with silence, I sigh as I get myself in some dance clothes in preparation for practicing with Hana.

I check my phone again, still nothing, and as I let out a sigh until I heard a knock on the door. As I opened the door to see the smiling face of Hana who immediately hugs me.

I smile faintly,

“Okay, you ready to get to work?”

She nodded, her eyes light up instantly

“Heck yeah!”

I chuckled remembering my own enthusiasm from last year.

“I’ll go first.I’ll see how you do.”

I hit the play button and Zella Day’s Hypnotic comes on and as I count myself in, I let the music flow through me.

I smile a bit making myself look as if I am a siren entrancing a sailor in Ancient Greece. When the song ends Hana is staring, her hands visibly shaking.

“You’ve got this” I remind her gently.

She nods weakly and as I started the music she tries to replicate my moves, just like Reyna she is strong in some spots. I smile and start to dance with her until she’s more comfortable.

It’s not long before she’s getting it, I smile giving her a high five as she starts to nail the moves.

“Thank you so much, Jules!!”

I smile,

“Don’t mention it. I was gonna grab some pizza. You wanna join me?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Come on now! I’m paying.”

---

As Hana and I finish our pizza its almost 7:40, we’re laughing and joking but we pass by my house. All the lights are off, except for my bedroom light and the one in the attic. I also notice that my parents aren’t home, and  I stare at the window.

Hana looks up with me,

“Jules? You okay?” Han asks gently.

I blink snapping out of it,

“Yeah... You go back to Warren I’ll catch up. ”

She rose an eyebrow,

“You sure?”

I actually wasn’t too sure in all honesty, but instead of sending her away, I politely and calmly whispered.

“Keep watch.”

She nodded, but gasped silently,

“What if we get in trouble?”

I chuckled,

“This is my house, we’ll be okay..”

I went around back to the emergency exit and smiled looking at the slightly faded pink blossoms. I hated to uproot them but I found the spare key taking it to the front door. I ran back down and opened the door.

Hana looked around, her face etched with fear.

“Jules!” She whimpered.

“It’ll just take a minute!” I insisted.

As I go up the stairs to my room, I cringe at some old pictures, remembering how many hours it took to get right. I  push the door open to my bedroom, everything appears to be normal except a box made out of faded old wood is in the center of my bed.

I grabbed the box and closed the door and put the key back under the pot, and lead Hana back to Warren.

“That’s enough excitement for one day,” I say examining the box.

I run my fingers over it, and offer Hana a chance to look at it.

Hana picks it up, her hands fumbling over it, and the box awkwardly fell out of her hands.  The box falling to the ground,  a wedge from the bottom, peeking out. As she hands it back to me I slowly pry it back its contents spilling out. Letters, Photographs; all things that I’ve never seen except the one of my grandmother and my mom hiding behind her leg. Hana and I start to go through the items and in the slew of things there was a white knight piece. Hana is holding an envelope with a letter and I’m looking at a picture.

It looks like a simple polaroid, that says: Me, Andrew, Patrick, Oliver and Sophia. Sophia’s hair is a dark black, and flowing. She is smiling a bunny ears. The other three boys are smiling in their uniforms.

“Hey Jules.. You should read this.”

I nodded and reading out loud, holding the envelope that was awkwardly torn.

January 11th

Dear Sophia,

I am writing this letter as a warning. In three days time He will find you. He has been in my dreams quite frequently and I fear he knows about the iteration. You have to hide it, you and Jeremy have too close with Daisy. And I know after our disbandment we promised we would never talk again but I pray to Elysia he doesn’t find Daisy. The vision that caused our severance is much clearer to me. The Demon King will return this iteration.

Run Sophia Run

Yours

The name is cut off but all I can wonder is who is Sophia?

First

Previous

Next

Taglist

@sunshineinacamp

@the-polyhedron

@maybemochas

@red-wood-raven

@sexyshortcake

@peoniepoetals

@cause-hes-so-hard-to-see

@queenly-fucker

@piggybackjunkie

@anne-tifreeze

@onemoresoultothecall

@thebigmollymauktealeaf

@poisonedapples

@anxious-bagel

@that-monster-boy

@thebisexualzombies

@ivonoris

@hcdwigs

@lazyscouts

[arachnexdragoon]

▲ five time my muse thought about kissing yours, and the one time they did. (Ghost AU)

send me a symbol for…

I.

“Ohmygosh, I could kiss you!”

Aranea realized a bit too late that she had voiced thesethoughts aloud – well, more like her relieved thoughts, and less like carnalthoughts. But at any rate, Ardyn had heard her and he chose to smile and to bowhis head lightly like a true gentleman, showing her the right way for the nextline transfer.

“Well, I suppose it is delightful to be rewarded for a gooddeed.”

“I’m so sorry. I was… Just too happy to see you. I clearlyunderestimated the subway,” Aranea replied with slightly reddened cheeks asthey walked through the crowd of busy-looking salarymen and high schoolstudents, all of them very aware of where they needed to go… Except for Aranea.She had lucked out, really – the closest station to her campus had no romajifor the station names and she ended up buying the wrong ticket and getting lostright after a first transfer in Shibuya.

Shibuya, of all places – well, at least it hadn’t been TokyoStation. Using her newly acquired mobile to phone Ardyn and to beg him torescue had seemed like a good option… Or rather, the only option.

“But if you’re feeling generous, then we could perhaps pick upsomething to eat on the way home.”

“My treat, Izunia-san~.”

II.

“It’s beautiful…” Aranea whispered, her hands open against thewindow and her face as close as she could to the glass without making it foggywith her warm breath. It was the first time it snowed in Tokyo since herarrival – and it looked straight out of a picture, especially considering thebeautiful view offered from Ardyn’s penthouse.

“You mentioned you had never seen snow before, yes?” Ardynqueried, coming to stand right beside her. Aranea was too entranced by the viewoutside to realize that her host didn’t have the same effect to the clear glassand appeared not to breathe, or that his reflection was also not showing up.

“Never. I’m from the southern part of the States, so it rarelysnows… Never got lucky with schools closing up for day and stuff like that,”she mentioned with a smile, but her eyes barely moved from the scenery outside.Ardyn hummed in agreement, hands folding behind his robe as he glanced at hisguest and smiled as well, although for other reasons.

“Have you acquainted yourself with the local lore, Aranea?This weather calls for the yuki-onna, it seems…”

“Snow… Woman?” she translated hesitantly, turning around toface the man and finding out Ardyn looked… Different. Maybe it was the waythe lighting inside was set, but he seemed to be outlined by the lamps, almostas if a faint glow enveloped his form and giving him an ethereal vibe. “What doyou mean?”

“The legend varies, my dear. Each region has its own version,but my personal favorite version is the one of the snow woman that appears whenthe first heavy snow falls, and who comes to steal the vitality and life forceof the men with deadly kisses. They supposedly freeze their victims to death…”

Aranea hadn’t realized she had been staring at his lips untilthey curved into a smirk once more. “Well. Not a bad way to go, yes? A kissfrom a woman in a white scenery like this.”

“No… Not bad at all.” It was also harder to swallow now, butAranea chalked it up to the ghost story.

III.

When Aranea’s skills with the local language advanced enough, shewas able to tell her classmates about the place she was staying at and how herhost looked like. She did notice a couple of her friends made surprisedexpressions at the moment she disclosed the location, but the description ofArdyn changed their stunned expressions into excitement.

“Aranea-chan, that man sounds like a really handsome one!”

She had to giggle – of all the comments she expected, that wasdefinitively the one she thought Japanese girls would be too shy to make, butapparently… They could get really comfortable with you once you made it as afriend, “I kind of… Agree, I think? He probably is old enough to be my dad,Sayuri-chan. Maybe I haven’t been exactly thinking about kissing him…” Or hadshe?

“Oh, that’s not a problem at all. My parents had an arrangedmarriage back at my home town and he was her senior for a lot of years… Still,they are still happily married.”

“I had this friend too, from high school… She used to dateolder men to get expensive gifts from them. Minako would certainly got a lot ofthings from a man like Izunia-san!”

At this point, Aranea wished she had pictures to show them –why was she always forgetting to take pictures of Ardyn? Maybe she could borrowone of the portraits she saw on a bookshelf, he looked like he fancied gettingpictures taken at these places where you dressed up with clothes from bygoneeras – at least the gentlemanly personality matched.

“Look, I’ll bring a picture over and you guys can help me ifit’s super wrong or not, okay?”

Hanae and Sayuri giggled, then exchanged a glance beforeeyeing Aranea again. “Aranea-chan, you’re weird. There’s nothing wrong aboutage.”

IV.

“That is so lame.”

Ardyn merely turned his head around, amber eyes focusing onthe expressions Aranea was making at the movie they were watching. Horrible,cliche horror movies from decades past had become a tradition of sorts at theIzunia household on Friday (the day also seemed to be the best suited one forthat, even if Japan had no issues with that particular day of the week as onethat could bring bad luck). The woman had a glass of wine in one hand and apackage of tiramisu-flavored pocky on he lap – really classy.

“What do you mean, my dear?”

“I mean… Seriously, you’re a girl and you’re driving byyourself, and then the car breaks down. Conveniently close to this big housewhere just this one guy with that eerie vibe about him lives. Of course itstarts to rain and clearly the phone is down, so you have no choice but tosleep at this old bedroom with a 4-poster bed and all that stuff.”

Her host was now outright smiling at her, stealing one of thesweet sticks for himself – Aranea remained amusingly outraged at the lady inthe movie, which was ridiculously ironic given the fact she was in a verysimilar situation herself – despite not knowing it. “This guy is obviously notalive… Or worse. And she is, like, accepting his offer to stay the night!”

At this point, the older man laughed and the sound of hisvoice broke Aranea out of her movie-induced reveries. She locked gazes withArdyn, realizing how she had felt that laugh more than heard it originally,being so close to his body when they were both sharing the couch and how it hadfelt… Nice.

Damn her friends at school, really. And damn Ardyn for beingsmirking and smiling all the time – it was hard to keep her mind off… Certainplaces and certain things when he did that.

“You’re laughing because you’ll never need to ask a strangerman to sleep at his house for one night, right? I know I’m bound to do it oneday, if I’ve learned anything from these movies.”

“Perhaps it won’t be such a ghastly experience, Aranea. Maybeyou’ll even… Come to enjoy…” his hands went for the snack again – or so Araneathought; but then the digits veered into a different direction and brushedagainst her chin, tilting her head up ever so slightly so their eyes could lockand she could feel the soft caress of a thumb over her lower lip, “Theexperience itself.”

Damn.

“…The experience?”

“The experience of spending one night with a strange man.After all, aren’t you living with someone you never thought you’d meet before?”

Oh, that.

“I’d hardly call you a stranger after these months, Ardyn.”

He smiled – again. And Aranea’s pale green eyes followed thattransformation, eagerly and more hungrily than she cared to admit.

“Good to hear that, my dear.”

V.

Karaoke had started out as something meant to help Aranea getused to one of the favorite pastimes of every salaryman in Tokyo, as well aspracticing her Japanese reading skills. But the moment she found out thatalcohol was served and these lovely places were open 24/7, she started to likethem a lot more. The woman had a fidelity card from Big Echo and could nowvirtually greet the staff of the closest unit by name.

It was that bad.

Sometimes, she would go there with school friends; sometimes,she would drag Ardyn. He had a nice voice and he knew a lot of really old,dramatic songs that were wonderfully enhanced by his timbre and it was kind ofamazing to see how he transformed from the moment he picked up the microphone.Aranea was more of the pop songs of the current days, and she tried to stick tothe new singles and releases that played on the radio.

But eventually, drinking made it impossible for her to readeven the basic kanjis and she switched to cheesy and iconic western pop music.As someone who had grown up during the 90s, she knew an embarrassingly hugeamount of Britney Spears songs by heart – and although one could think it didn’tmatch her personality, a drunk Aranea made for a very good dancer and Britneyimpersonator.

Luckily for her, while it wasn’t Vegas, there weren’t camerasin the individual rooms.

‘Break the Ice’ had been her pick, and she had started itnormally enough, barely looking at the screen since she knew it all by heart;instead she used the available furniture as props for her dance moves,eventually landing on her host’s lap while singing: “Let me break the ice / allowme to get you right,” she dipped her head lower then, lips brushing againstArdyn’s ear shell, “But you warm up to me / baby I can make you feel…”

The woman knew, deep down, that she was pushing her luck – butwhen Ardyn responded to her teasing by holding her close and whispering intoher own ear, Aranea dropped the microphone and the song played without anyvoice over for a while – she was too busy staring right into these amber irises.

But the moment he smirked, again, her eyes were drawn downwardsand she actually when groaned when he licked his lips and widened the smile. Itwas official – Ardyn was now tempting her, seeing just how far she was willingto go.

And Aranea maybe would have done it if the phone hadn’t rung,letting them know that their time was up. The girl almost fell to the floorwhile trying to remove herself from her lap, but Ardyn was entirelycomposed as he picked up the phone and announced they were going to be headingdownstairs.

VI.

While winter had been magical in Japan, nothing compared tothe summer – for one, it was way hotter than anything she had experienced backin the US; but the sheer amount of traditions, special foods and fireworksfestival was memorable.

The hanabis were a must-see, Ardyn told her. Something thateveryone took part in and that was well worth the expense of buying a yukata.Aranea did so, and she was really happy to have followed Ardyn’s advice to buyone with a ready-made obi knot – it was fucking hard to do it by herself. Themoment she finished getting dressed and stepped in the living room, she couldswear that her host had stopped breathing for a second.

“You look beautiful, my dear.”

She made a small bow, a smile on her lips for once – well, atleast she could still get him speechless after so many occasions where thereverse thing happened. Ardyn looked really regal in a somber yukata – his darkhair and pale skin made for a striking combo and she was really pleased to seehow mesmerizing they were as soon as they passed a mirrored wall on their wayto the subway.

Their destination was Asakusa – a traditional place for that,Ardyn told her. Aranea was very much her own woman, but she was enjoyingwalking around with their arms linked and buying all the food available at thesmall street stands, as well as laughing at his observations and enjoying thecheerful atmosphere.

She was caught off-guard by the first firework – her hostlaughed at her, but hold her firmly against him and made sure they had a nicespot to watch the hanabi. Aranea spent almost the entire time looking up, inawe of the different colors and shapes – it was nothing like the 4thof July. But eventually she found herself looking to the side, and watching theprofile of her host being illuminated by the fireworks instead.

“I’m afraid you’re missing the spectacle, my dear.”

Of course Ardyn had caught her staring – he had an uncannysixth sense. But in the middle of all these people and considering all themonths they had spent together, Aranea merely smiled in return. This was it –she had enough. She had pondered time and time over this and she had a verdict.

Aranea stood on her tiptoes, tugging at his yukata sleeves toget his attention before pressing their lips together. Ardyn was… Smiling. Thatmuch she could feel, but it was quickly gone in favor of parting his lips andallowing her entrance, indulging Aranea before claiming control of the kisshimself and leaving her breathless at the end, with her heart out of controland the blood drumming in her ears loud enough to override any firework.

“No… The spectacle has just started.”

Predictably, Ardyn smiled – and it was fucking great nothaving to hold back and kissing the infuriating smirks away.

[if-i-want-to-dance]

His Pawn to Play

Chapter 28

"A week?" "That's what your father said." Rem stared at his Shogi board, considering the next move and pondering his next move. "She'll never remember in a week." He'd planned to come to her house, to reintroduce himself and hypnotize her into coming with him. He would have released her when she got to the house, and she would have been scared, but not nearly as terrified as she was now. Locking her up in her room had been a bad decision. Leaving her alone was probably causing her imagination to run wild, in turn making her even more frightened. But her outburst, from such a calm girl, had startled him. What did one do with a screaming, crying human that physically could not remember the shocking things they were seeing? "Well, unless you want us to have to forcibly rip the information out of her mind, then she'll have to." "I hate to damage a pawn that might be useful later." "Do you?" Urie raised an eyebrow. "Or have you developed a soft spot for such a lovely human girl?" "Don't be absurd, Urie. I don't want to sacrifice a pawn so early in the game. Forcing it out would destroy her mind and turn her into a shell of a person. That's hardly a useful move if I don't have to make it. What would attract me to such a creature anyway?" "That stubborn personality. That smile. That kind personality. They fought a ten year war over a woman in history, you know. Helen of Troy, if you've heard of her." "Hana's a pawn, nothing more." And he was pretty sure that war was fictional. Urie made his move. "Then you won't mind if I add her to my collection after this is over?" "She's my pawn, to use as I like." Rem's grip on the piece in his hand tightened. "But when we're done. I want to add her to my collection. When she has no further use to her, can I have her?" Rem slammed his piece down. "I will not see my pawn passed around like some kind of used toy!" Urie smirked. "That's what I thought. Something about her appeals to you very much, and the sooner you admit that, the sooner we can get along with figuring out what to do with her." Rem straightened up from his seat on the couch. "She does interest me. That's all." "Well, I suppose we can start with that." "There's nothing to be done about it. I'll just have to put that aside." "But you don't want her to be hurt, do you?" Urie raised an eyebrow. Clearly, he'd guessed the answer ages ago. Rem made no response to this. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Let me talk to her tomorrow morning. I think I might know how to bring her memories out. She might not know anything, you know." "I couldn't let the vampires get to her. And if she doesn't, we can just erase her memories and let her leave." "Anyway, it's time for dinner. I'll bring her." "I suppose we'll have to pretend to be humans still?" Urie made a disgusted face. "We already eat it once a day at school. Must we really do it three times a day now?" "Yes. Human food isn't that bad, Urie." "Unless it's mushrooms." "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

No sound came from inside Hana's room. Rem knocked on the door. "Hana? May I come in please?" No response came from inside. "Hana? If you don't answer me I'm going to have to come in." He knocked again. Still no answer. Maybe she'd fallen asleep, but it wasn't worth risking it to leave her alone. He unlocked the door and pushed it open. "Hana?" A heavy object collided with his skull. Rem staggered back several steps from the blow. Hana stepped in front of him, wielding a heavy wooden rod. Where had she even gotten that? "Hana, put it down. Now." Hana swung it again. Rem caught it in his hands and ripped it out of her grasp. Hana yelled in surprise and stumbled forward, landing in a heap on the ground. Rem threw the rod to the side. Hana was up in a flash, fists flying. He dodged her punch easily and grabbed her, pinning her arms between them. Hana kicked him in the shin. Rem sat down, dragging her down with him. He twisted her around in his grip and hooked his legs overtop of hers to keep her from kicking him again. "Hana, I told you none of us were going to do anything to you. Why would you - " His words were cut off by the back of Hana's head striking him in the face. Rem tightened his grip, moving one of his arms up a bit to keep her from being able to use her shoulders. Hana's whole body shook. She twisted hard to one side, breath coming in short gasps. "Hana, I can keep you in this position all night until you calm down. Just calm down and stop trying to attack me." Her hair pressed against his nose. "I told you that none of us were going to hurt you, and I still mean it. Just calm down." Her breathing came in even more ragged sobs and she kept thrashing around. He stood and picked her up, still kicking and trying to attack him. He carried her to the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and sat her down. Hana curled up into a ball, covering her head with her arms as if expecting to be struck. Rem backed away into the farthest corner of the room. Gradually, her ragged breathing slowed and her shaking lessened. Rem crossed the room again, slowly. Hana watched him warily, likely expecting him to jump at her at any moment. Rem pulled his hankerchief out of the pocket of his coat and handed it to her. "It's time for dinner. Let's try that again. You get changed and come out whenever you're ready." He walked to the door. "Don't worry, I'm not going to going to walk in on you or something like that." She nodded and sniffled. Rem closed the door behind himself, but didn't lock it. She was terrified of him. The poor thing. He didn't blame her for trying to get out. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. Urie and the others would be looking for them if they didn't come soon. The door behind him groaned. Hana stood in the doorway, staring at the ground. She wore a light pink sweater and a grey skirt. Standing in front of him in borrowed clothes, arms crossed defensively across her chest, eyes fixed on the ground, she seemed more fragile, somehow. Even for a human. Little did she know of the deadline, ticking away with the clock. Rem reached down and took her chin in his hand, tilting it upwards. "I told you that no one would hurt you here. Come on, you must be hungry." He released her chin and offered her his arm. Hana timidly took it. It shook slightly in his grip. Nothing would happen to her while he was able to prevent it.

[siodymph]

Symmrat Week Day 4

And here's day four! We're officially half-way through Symmrat week!

This is my take on their role reversal. And personally, even if their background stories are switched I still like to think they both still keep their talents with explosions and hard-light. But instead of making his stuff from scratch Junkrat had a life-time of experience and tony stark-level attention over his weapons. And then Satya is the one who makes her turrets from scrap and is completely obsessed with reverse engineering hard-light.

You can check it out under the cut or over on my AO3 Enjoy!

When he’d first joined Overwatch, Jamison wasn’t sure what to expect. He’d never really had friends, going straight from school to a fully-fledged career all through Hyde Global he’d been one of their finest chemical engineers and weapons expert. But he’d always been called a shut-in and knew embarrassingly well that most the other engineers he worked with never thought highly enough of him. Not even in their days together at the academy. The one time he’d tried approaching them on the matter they said he always made things awkward, that he was always so loud and unfiltered, also annoying, never shutting up. He never bothered trying to talk to them after that. It still made him a bit bitter. He knew he was different, but that had just made him all the more important to Hyde. He could do things, make things no one else could. His controlled light explosions had been a breakthrough in the industrial world. At least, that’s what Hyde’s suits had always said to him when he was first starting out. He’d done so much for Hyde Global, he’d given an arm and a leg for that company. Literally.

So when Overwatch came back from the dead and HG wanted a representative on the team, he was very skeptical. Why would Overwatch want Hyde Global’s weapons expert when no one in that company seemed to care much about beyond his bombs and weapon designs?

He could have never predicted just how quickly the Overwatch team would worm its way into his life. That for one he’d be a member of a team, that the people he worked with would honestly have his back, and that he’d actually enjoy working in a group instead of on his own like usual. That after a year on the team he’d be best mates with people like the gaming legend Lucio, or pop-sensation Hana Song, that one was especially surprising seeing how she’d become famous for her blatant opposition to Hyde’s presence in Busan, South Korea. And yet now they were some of his best friends.

And he would have never, ever expected Satya.

A new recruit, just like he was. That however was where any initial similarities between them had come to an abrupt halt. When she arrived at the Overwatch headquarters, she was wearing tattered clothes, hair unruly and ragged, and a thick layer of dirt clung to her skin. He’d learned a bit later that she was from the wastelands of India, and allegedly she knew deep secrets about Vishkar tech, a company that had just begun developing something called “hard-light” when the Indian Omnium blew up and along with over a third of the nation and the rest of Asia, destroyed Vishkar before it could truly lift off the ground. Satya was one of many abandoned people left to fend for themselves. She was silent as death and never took her eyes off any of them, as if expecting them all to turn on her at a moment’s notice.

And for a while that’s how things were in their team. But slowly, slower than anyone could have truly seen, things began to change. Satya began to open up to the rest of the group, put more trust in them. And Jamison was too, much to his surprise. What had started as a temporary gig for him had turned into one of the happiest times in his life. People who started out as just heroes and strangers he would work with had turned into friends and family he couldn’t imagine leaving. And Satya. Satya had turned into so much for Jamie, he could have never prepared himself for how much Satya would mean to him.

How much he would fall in love with her.

Her eyes, there was just such an energy hidden in them. A fire she held as she turned metal scraps and rubbish into beautiful weapons in the labs. The fire that seemed to explode out of her whenever they went on missions, going from silent and calculating to striking down their enemies, the ones who’d been foolish enough to underestimate her traps and her power. In quieter moments, far away from battles and payloads, that fire would crackled softly with such a warmth whenever she laughed at his jokes, whenever she got lost in thought, whenever she smiled. She was brilliant, she was amazing and it scared Jamison to think that he’d fallen so hard for someone in such a short time.

Then one night Satya pulled him aside in the workshop. Said she wanted to tell him something important, but she couldn’t tell him in the Overwatch base. That there were too many cameras hidden everywhere and they needed to get somewhere unwired.

Jamison had foolishly agreed and now seemingly for hours the two of them drove out of Gibraltar. The city became a small blip far behind them as they drove further and further inland away from the sea. Until finally they reached a safe house hidden far into the woods.

“Mei and I set this place up during our heists.” Satya explained as she got out of the driver’s seat.

It certainly looked like the type of building quickly rebuilt while on the run. Once it might have been an old cottage but now high-security devices outlined every window and the door. As they stepped in Satya directed Jamie how to step over all the traps that lay hidden all around the front entrance. Until finally they were both sitting on the floor of the living room as the only furniture was a musty matress in one corner of the room.

After rechecking the entire safe house one last time, she sat down next to Jamison. “Nothing leaves this room.” She said steely.

“Of course.” Jamison said, unsure exactly what he had been dragged into.

“You swear?”

“I swear, Satya.” He wasn’t sure what Satya was about to reveal, but not matter what it was Jamison rationalized that nearly nothing her secret could be would make him leave this room.

“Ok...” Satya took a deep breath, looking quickly to the door before locking eyes again with Jamison. “You wondered how I know so much about Vishkar’s hard-light? Well… this is my secret.”

She then began taking apart her mechanical arm.

But instead of removing it from its detachable joint on what was left of her upper arm, she began ripping off bits and parts. The arm she’d held so much pride in, she always bragged about how she made her arm completely on her own from metal scraps and wiring she could find in the Indian ruins. It had been her pride and joy. She’d refused everyone’s help, even Jamison’s, when they offered to upgrade her arm. And now she was tearing it apart like it was nothing to her.

Jamison was about to protest when he saw a flash of white emerge as the she slowly took apart the arm. It couldn’t be… It was impossible…

But slowly Satya took off all the scraped pieces, Jamison realized that the arm had just been a shell. Made only to hide a beautiful, pristine, sleek arm. And when the palm began glowing with a brilliant blue light Jamison couldn’t deny it any further.

It was a Viskar prosthetic gauntlet. Possibly one of the last in existence.

Jamison felt speechless, Vishkar was a tall tale, an Arthurian legend. So many people he knew at Hyde had said “hard-light” couldn’t even theoretically exist. And yet here it was. Beams of light were being bent into prisms effortlessly in Satya’s control. “H-How?”

“One time when I was younger and foolish I attempted to scavenge the Vishkar ruins. It cost me my left arm but in turn I discovered something much more valuble…”

“Oh my god Satya… It’s amazing.”

She smiled and brought the gauntlet closer. “Try it, pinch the light to make a shape…”

Jamison was tentative to touch the light. He felt like he was about to touch the holy grail of engineering. He watched as his hand was illuminated by the light and he attempted to pinch the light as Satya had instructed. It took him a few times to try gripping the light but the fourth time he tried something seemed to suddenly connect and the hard-light followed his hand, fanning out in into triangles. He grinned up at Satya who smiled back.

“If anything happens to me. I want you to have my arm.”

Jamison looked up at her surprised. The way she said it, she sounded so certain.

She continued before he could say anything. “It’d be a pity if it ended up left in a museum, collecting dust and going unused. Something like this deserves to be used. To its complete potential. That’s why I want you to have it, Jamison.”

“Satya, you don’t have to

“Ok… but just in case.” Satya pressed moving closer, closing her gantlet around Jamison’s hand. “Please, promise me you’ll keep it safe?”

“I swear I’ll never let anything happen to your arm, darl.” He murmured, kissing Satya’s beautiful hand. And he raised his head to look Satya directly in the eyes. “But I’ll be a dead man before I let anything happen to you either.”

Satya frowned at that, looking away from him and down at her arm. “Thank you Jamison, but I’m not as important.”

“You are to me. And much more precious too.” Jamison said gently taking hold of her chin and looking back into her eyes. Ad before he could think against it he leaned in and pressed his lips warmly against hers.

That night he learned an invaluable secret, one that could destroy corporations, entire nations if wielded wrongly. But most importantly to Jamison, he realized just how much Satya loved and trusted him. And in that night he finally placed his whole heart and trust in her too.