#hallelujah is literally playing in this store right now

[biandevil]

At the thrift and I want to die (in more ways than one)

[tomdiddlyumptious]

HEY ANON WHO SENT THIS, I COULD DO EVERYTHING BUT THE SMUT BECAUSE I NEED TO READ INTO IT AND LEARN SOMEMORE, I JUST REPLACED IT WITH CUDDLING!

Warnings: language, arguing? A lil violence to your wrist, weave grabbing and bodyguard running! NOT PROOF READ OR BOLD, IM JUST KINDA LAZY TODAY!

A/n: oh god what did I just write?

T.H| You Shouldn’t Go Out Anymore

We all know he is gonna feel some fuckin way y/n, don’t fight it” your friend said, sipping her cherrie slurpie after you all left the club.

“Well I don’t know what to say, I was fucking around with anyone I was just handlin my own” you let out a ‘tuh’ as you looked out the window.

“This is a man? You have been out since what? 6” your gay best friend stated, handing you your Reese’s as you only rolled your eyes.

“This is your stop, good luck babe, although you can most definitely handle your own” you opened the door as she pulled up, grabbing your stuff and hopped out the door, big ass mistake. You didn’t fall but your knees didn’t agree with you.

As your friends laughed you flipped them off and closed the door, fixing your purse as your heels clanked against the stone, you walked up to the door step, grabbing your keys and putting them in the door, before you could twist it was already opened by you great full.... angry? Boyfriend.

You jerked your head at him and came in the house, taking off your heels and going into your shared room, throwing them in the closet.

“Where’d you go?” He asked from the kitchen, soon angrily coming into the bedroom. “I got caught up in some traffic” “bullshit, where did you go?” “To the club? Why else am I wearing this?” “Why is your hair fucked up?” He asked, looking at your figure. You shrugged “I have no idea” you bit your lip as you walked up to the mirror attached to the closet, trying to unzip yourself. He stood there watching you with his jaw clenched, you could see him but you tried to ignore it your best, it wasn’t happening.

“Thomas what the fuck is your problem?” “My problem? Why are you out so fucking late!?” He raised his voice. “Why? I’m here aren’t I!” You yell back. “Why are you avoiding the fucking question, you fucking cheated didn’t you? Your a fucking slob” “A slob?” You cock your head at him, furrowing your eyebrows. “I AM SOBERRRR!” you yell at him, he only ignores you so you dance around him yelling “soberrrr! I am so soberrrr! What’s 2x2? Fourrrrr”. “Can you be serious for two minutes?” “Not when you don’t know what your fucking talking about, wanna know why I was really late?” You snapped back and he only nodded, you threw the Reese’s at his face “maybe I should’ve cheated on yo dumbass” “fuck you!”

“Haven’t you already? Unzip me” his face all scrunched as he walked up and unzipped you, you turning around and his face so close to your own “I went to the fucking store Thomas, they don’t sell snacks at the club” “did you drink at all?” “No thomas, there was just an achol free club where we all sing Barney, I love you, you love me” you smile, tilting your head to the side. “Well I’ve been sitting in this bed waiting for you” “then wait some more baby, wait some more” he grabbed your wrist pulling you closer, him towering you “look smartass, if you want to go bloody fuck around you can, just stay away from me, you don’t answer your phone, you stay out late, you have the fucking audacity to come home and try to talk to me as if I did something wrong?”

“No I’m actually talking to you like your dumb, because you are, get out of me!” You snatch your wrist back “next time you touch me I swear to god I will punch you square in yo fucking face” you take off your dress and grab your suit case, rubbing your wrist because it hurt, like hell. You know he wouldn’t ever hurt you and maybe he was caught in the moment but you were pissed. You took out all of your clothes and threw them on the side of your bed.

“Where are you going? You don’t have anywhere to go” Tom said, grabbing the clothes on the hangers and putting them back up. “Thomas put my shit down” and one thing you both knew, it is your shit, you bought it because you aren’t one of those types for when the time comes he takes everything that he bought for you.

He hesitated before he put it back on the bed “you aren’t leaving me” “I make my own decisions” you started to fold up your clothes as Thomas left, walking into the livingroom taking in what all happened.

You walked up to the door and slammed it, hissing in pain from the slight sting in your wrist, you only pushed yourself more by folding everything and throwing it in your suit case.

You set it next to the door and sat on the bed “fuck” you whispered to yourself thumbs on your temples and your hands rested on your eyebrows. it isn’t your fucking fault at all and you needed to know that but right now you’ve never ever had these kinds of fights with Tom, it was just about dinner or something petty. You ended up falling asleep.

You woke up and found yourself in the messy bedroom, hangers everywhere and suit case still next to the door. You grabbed your phone from your purse that was also on the floor, calling your friend, Imani.

“Yes” she said, you only bit your lip. “We had a fight” you went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, “I know” “how?” “It’s Thomas, and your sarcastic as hell” “well I’m leaving” “the house or the man?” “havent talked about it yet” “well you should, I got to go, text me the apartment though” you let out a hum and hung up, turning on the shower to a warm feeling.

You got dressed and flat ironed your hair sitting on your fluffy pink chair that matched your marble vanity. Then he walked in “hey” he whispered. “Hi” you said back, taking out the last section. “Are we like... not together anymore?” He asked, sitting on the bed watching you. “A break” you said, turning back to him as he nodded. “Can I ask why your doing your hair” “no Tom” “okay” his lips in a thin line.

You unpacked your stuff, getting comfy in your new but not replaced home. You were gonna move in with one of your friends at first but them you knew you wanted some alone time for yourself, you scrolled through your explore page on Instagram- stacked with zodiac signs and Evan peters, skinny girls in bikinis, generic ones.

As you scrolled through you thought ‘maybe I should- nah’ you looked in the closet looking at the small bikinis and the tight skirts and tube tops. Sooner or later the door opened revealing-

“Tye? What are you doing here?” You asked, your gay best friend entering. “I’m not the only one, and don’t come over here talking to me like I’m the enemy” “shut up” you stood up and gave him a hug, soon revealing Imani also. “You know for a fact that we was comin over, yo hair is poppin” she said “stiff where?” You shook it, silky.

Over the few days that you’ve been alone Toms been doing actually pretty well, he did miss you of course but he also did freak out and get mad that you weren’t accepting his calls, he didn’t know if you were safe until-

“Stop!” You laughed, currently in the Pool with the most smallest bikini EVER- the hot red just making your skin shine, your hair done, sunglasses on, teeth white, feet done nails done, okay? Everything is done, by your wallet to.

Tye and his muscular lil boo, throwing pretzels at you. “Have fun!” Ray said, “we didn’t take you here for no reason” Tye added both of them sitting down in the seats while you were in the pool, leaning your elbows on the brim “I know!” You lift yourself up, little did you know Imani was taking pictures of you, from behind of course, your ass the main course of the picture, everything about you was just so sexy, like you had a magnet on you that everybody needs to be attached to, but luckily that was Thomas. Did I mention it was a public pool? “Look at Jesus, he’s starring at you” everyone grabbed there black tinted sunglasses, making sure nobody could see yours and your friends eyes you looked. “Sexy” ray said, “nice and hairy, it’s time for a grown man y/n” Imani said, basically dissing Tom because it doesn’t look like he has any hair on his body ‘golden beauty’ as he’d call it.

“I don’t know, what if he’s like a hobo or something?” You said, coming up to Tye and laying down between his legs, resting your head on his pec. “Your right, he might be hairy in the business to” ray commented, making everyone laugh as Tye played with your hair. You smacked your lips as ray took out his phone “stoppp!” You said, knowing what he is doing to embarrass you, he made a boomerang of him zooming in on Jesus, but acting like he was recording himself. He labels it “JESUS?” and posted, making everyone else but you repost it on their story. “Y’all do to much” you sigh, rubbing your forehead.

“What the fuck is this? Jesus?” Tom said, sipping his beer. Looking at Harrison who is trying to hold on a laugh “you might have to fuck some since into her if ya know what I mean” a chuckle leaving his lips. “She isn’t fucking around, just leave her be” Harry rolled his eyes, all Tom was doing is looking at him phone, every, single, day. “You think she likes him? Or might have sex with him?” “You are literally so bloody annoying, what do you think?” Haz glares at him. “Well I don’t know! Fuck! She wouldn’t” Tom didn’t even wanna think about it, having another hand on your neck, hearing you moan someone else’s name, opening your legs for someone else.

“Might wanna check her profile” Harrison shrugs, Tom nods and checks it, clicking on your story and finding you say “hallelujah” while your laying on someone, a chest. You soon flip the camera “put your legs down!” You slap them, making whoever it is chuckle, you zoom in on Jesus and end up getting caught, your phone drops as the story ends.

“Your fucked” Harry laughed “shut up!” Tom said, throwing the bottle cap at him.

“No this didn’t happen, I don’t believe it” you hide in tyes chest while everyone laughs at you “stopppppp!” You whine.

You smiled as you got in your tight dress, orange and spaghetti strapped that shows a bit of your side boob, you wore thigh high black boots, your hair flat ironed again, inches inches inches, lace front, lace front, lace front, Self love yeah? You put on your dangle earrings, lipgloss eyelashes just lookin so pretty.

“You ready?” Ray asked, coming in with his loose oversized shirt and jean shorts, converse, he looked good of course but never over top, it isn’t his thing. Tye on the other hand came with a black loose unbuttoned loose shirt and black dress pants, a new pair a j’s wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

Imani didn’t like dressing up so she came with a yellow ripped crop top and black cargos with some combat boots everyone’s hair done.

No drinking and driving, you all had money of course and you were planning on just taking care of yourself, so when you got there you just went to the bar.

Of course a lot of eyes were on you, all races all genders, but you could care less. “One shot of-“ “a Shirley temple, get this fine young lady a Shirley temple” Tye said, “we don’t need you losing your mind in here, y/n” “whatever but yes please”

“Of course gorgeous” the waiter winked at you. “Ooo” Tye said making you slap his arm “where is Imani and ray?” You asked Tye, he only pointed at the dance floor, the shoes helping both of them dance better.

“You should dance” “you and I both know I look like I’m getting electrocuted” he laughed as you got your drink, taking the straw and sipping it. “Can’t we like get a table or something?” You asked, Tye nodding and asking you to step forward, a gentle hand behind your back trying to keep the drunkies away.

About an hour in is when Imani started to party “IMANIS A LESBIAN?” you shouted, only enough for you, ray, and the to hear as they eye her on the dance floor. “Aw shit, here we go again” “private story activated” Imani just making out with the girl non stop.

“Oh fuck- we need to save her!” You say, watching as they giggle and record her. “Let her have her fun, she will just wake up in another girls bed and be happy” “she looks like she has an std” “how?” “She’s way to pretty” you laugh at tye “AH- HAIR PULLING? OH MY” “BAHAHAHA” you all scream laughing, Imani must of pulled to tight because that lace came off, as Imani pulled away and looked at her her eyes got bigger, she slowly lifted the lace compared to her head, “oh my fuckin god she’s gonna do it” “no she isn’t” “yes, yes she is” she ran off.

The lace in the air as she disappeared like a magician “OH MY FUCKING GOD” Tye posted it, you instantly took out your phone, biting your lip and seeing the missed calls, but ignoring it and opening Instagram, finding tyes private story and posting the post on your own.

“That’s sad, I feel bad for the girl” ray said, holding in his laughs as he looked at the and started cracking up. “We should’ve saved her-“ you got caught by heavy breathing “what the hell happened?” “Sis, you drunk forreal” you only shook your head “yo hair is lookin mad frizzy, let’s go sneak somewhere” you say getting up. “Look at y/n, sober but crazy” “shut the fuck up” you leaded them into this little space where the hallway is, not supposed to be there but fuck it. You found an iron “let’s get you back on track” you say, plugging in the iron “girl no” “it’s going to help” “that is hella ghetto” “you hair is lookin hella ghetto” as it got done heating up she took out her phone “look at her” “I’m making your hair look good, the fuck you expect? Hermiones bag so I can pull out a flat iron?” You picked up the iron and took her hair making the part straight first before pressing down. “Why y’all laughing?” You say looking at Tye and ray giggling in the background “you hookin her up that’s- that’s a good friend” and just like that, POW, her lace was lookin fresh.

“Now that we are here should we take some pictures?” Tye asked, everyone nodding as you set up your phone against the wall, everyone posing, you squatting, ray laying across all of you infront, imanis tongue out and Tye throwing up the finger, it went on for a while so the laughs were covered by the bodyguard walking in. “ Oop” “RUN!” Ray yelled, how the hell is you finna run in heels? Ray the fastest, Tye behind, Imani after him and you trying not to roll your ankles. “Get back here!” You don’t even now how but you made it infront of everyone, leaving them eating your dirt as you went to the exit “HURRY UP!” you yell “WE ARE FUCKIN TRYING! HOW THE HELL YOU RUNNIN?” Tye yelled, you opened the door everyone running out and you know behind them, the big ass guard almost catching you but you locked and shut the door, giving blowjobs did give you some extra skills.

You all ran to the car, hot and sweaty “I GOT IT ON RECORDD” Imani yelled making you all laugh. “You a real dumbass” you said, ray starting the car as everyone’s breath was heavy. You pulled out your phone on live, a lot of people entering “bitch we made it out!” “Sure did!” You switched the phone to behind the camera revealing ray and Tye in the front seat. “It was a crazy ass night” “I’m ready to take a fat ass nap” Tye joked. “Shit forreal, my piggies is killin me” you say giving your phone to Imani as you took off your heels. “Hold up- look at this” she said, putting her phone under yours showing your fans all y’all runnin and the big ass bodyguard getting dusted.

You sighed as you laid on your bed, already missing the night and taking off your dress after posting the pictures, which had the bodyguard in the back.

Buzz buzz

You saw the caller ID and huffed, rolling your eyes and leaving you in only your panties.

“She still won’t answer” Tom sighed. “Well did you expect her to? She just ran away from a bloody bodyguard she might be tired” haz said making a point. Tom only nodded his head looking at your recent pictures from the past few days, big pearly whites everywhere, ass boobs everywhere, just you everywhere. “Fuck it, I’ve called her and called her, I’m going over” “go ahead we aren’t stopping you” Harry shrugged “it might just be the best option” Sam nodded.

You turned on Cartoon Network but adult swim was playing, Robot chicken which actually scared the shit out of you. You heard a knock on the door, you mentally screamed and got up, going to your door but covering your boobs before answering the door.

“How did you find me” “I guess you could say your friends miss us together” Tom simply said, now looking down at your figure “is someone in here?!” He asked, voice slightly raised. “No thomas, come in!” You snatch him by his arm, he steps in and you close the door, not holding your boobs anymore you go to your room.

He follows you in your room, watching you as you put almost shirt. “You looked good tonight” “you were watching me huh?” He only walked up behind you taking the back of your neck and bending you over on the bed , pressing his self on you and reaching over to whisper in your ear “I guess” he pressed kisses to your neck, soft delicate ones as the coldness of his ring digging in your colored skin.

“Thomas what do you want?” You ask, clearly annoyed. His movements stuttered as he just sat on the bed, you stood back up straight and put on your shirt to sit next to him. He looks at you then down at the hardwood floor “I miss you” “and that was your way of showing me? You miss me or my body?” “I miss all of it” you put your legs up to your chest. “Really?”

“Yeah” he nods, turning to you “can I?” He asked and you nodded, he pulled you into a hug. “I love you and I was worried about you honestly, I have no idea what happened to me that night, I guess I was trying to hide me being vunrable” he whispered, your head on his shoulder as he speaked to you.

“Well I was just hungry ya know” you chuckle, making him let out a distant laugh. “I-yeah, it was a good chocolate” “you ate it?” “Yes I did” you both laugh. “But I seriously want to apologize, I don’t own you and you don’t deserve to be treated that way, at all. I love you, y/n” he whispered, taking your hand and playing with your fingers.

“I love you too” you look at him and he smiles, kissing your forehead to your nose and down to your lips. “Can we-“ “I’m tired, can we just lay down?” “Of course darling”. He helped you get rid of your makeup and you both laced down, both of you only on your underwear and your tops exposed, skin to skin as you both just admired each other, taking in each other’s scent and pressing kisses randomly as the tv ran in the livingroom.

[abidingingodsgraceministries]

PREPARING OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS!! —ARE WE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO STAND STRONG IN CHRIST?? ARE WE TEACHING THEM TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH?!? ABIDING IN GOD'S GRACE ©MINISTRIES {AIGGM}

Good Evening Y'all Beautiful Women and Men Of The Lord God Almighty ! 🙋🙌💜😘🙏

We Wanted To Take A Minute and Talk About Our Children and Their Feelings. Especially With HOW Our Children Feel and HOW They Handle Those Feelings. Especially Within The Last Two Years Alone, With All This End Times Satanic Plandemics.

And We Really Need To Realize and Accept, and Seriously Acknowledge What Is Really Happening and Going On.. In Our Nation.. In Our World, In The Spiritual World/Realm, In The Heavens Above.. Etc.. and Ultimately What Is Coming! We Absolutely HAVE To Be Completely and Utterly Honest and Transparent With Ourselves, With One Another and With Our Children! We Must Prepare Them .. Otherwise We're Setting Them Up For Failure and Defeat. And They NEED To FULLY Understand and Know, That They Are Victorious In CHRIST! 🙌💯👏

[The Lord God Almighty ' GOT You! So Rest, Relax and Sleep .. Peacefully, Faithfully, Trusting, Calmly, Hopeful, Soundly and Prayerfully, Tonight, Knowing That YOU, .. YES, YOU.. Are In The ALMIGHTY' Hands .. and HE' GOT YOU!].

How Does Our Family Dynamics .. Our Family Structure .. Our Family Unit .. Our Family Mentality, .. Handle, Process, Adapt, Deal With and Acknowledge, [Etc..] With Feelings.. In General, As Well As Especially When It Comes To Our Own Children and Their Feelings, Etc.. ??.

How We Handle and Adapt and Process and Comprehend and Deal With, [Etc..] —(With) Our Own Personal Feelings, As Well As How We Handle and Deal With, Acknowledge and Accept [Etc..] Our Spouse's, Other Childrens and Other Family Members, Associates and Even Strangers [Etc..] and Their Feelings, Is So VERY Important, So Very Crucial and Critical To Our Children, Even Our Grandchildren and Future Generations!

It's Absolutely Necessary and Vital Y'all, For Our Children's ENTIRE Life Processing Methodologies and Coping Mechanisms, Feelings, Understandings and Comprehension, Etc.. To Be In The RIGHT Place.. The RIGHT Way.. The RIGHT Direction.. The RIGHT Mindset and Mentality!.. We Must TEACH Them and We Must LEAD Them By Example, In ALL —Ways —CHRIST!

We Ought To Be Aligning —Ourselves, Our Marriages, Our Children, Our Families, Our Friendships and Fellowships, Our Lives, [Etc..] IN AND WITH —The WORD Of The Lord God Almighty [Scripture].. With The TRUTH and The WAYS Of The Lord God Almighty.. With The COMMANDMENTS Of The Lord God Almighty.. and With ALL Things That Are —GOOD, HOLY, GODLY, RIGHTEOUS, CHRISTLIKE, ACCEPTABLE and PLEASING TO THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, Etc..

LIVE HIS WORD. LIVE HIS TRUTH. LIVE HIS WAYS.

LIVE HIS COMMANDMENTS. LIVE FOR CHRIST!

When It Comes To Our Children, Especially Within The End Times In Which We're All Living In, and With How Much Dramatically Worse Things Will Be, Even In Just A Few Short Years.. Long Enough, Way After We're All Gone and Our Children, Grandchildren and All Future Generations Will Be On Their Own, .. We Absolutely CANNOT Chance This!

Are We Teaching and Preparing Our Children Good Enough, For Once We've Passed Away? Did We Teach and Prepare Our Children Good Enough, To Stand Faithful, Strong, Obedient, and Courageous, Etc.. To The Lord Our God.. Against This World and The Ruler Of It, Long After We Pass?!?

We CANNOT Chance Our Children.. Grandchildren.. and All Future Generations, and Their Eternity.. Lives.. Feelings.. Mentality.. Etc..!

We Have To FILL Ourselves and Our ENTIRE Being, Life, Relationships, Etc.. We Literally, We Have To FILL Up EVERY SINGLE ASPECT Of Our Lives and Ourselves and Our Hearts, Mindset, Mentality, Etc.., —With The COMMANDMENTS, WORD, WILL, WAYS, and TRUTH .. OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! 🙌🙌

Hallelujah 🙌🙌

Glory Be To The Lord Our God! 🙌🙌

Hallelujah 🙌🙌

Now, Our Children's Wellbeing and Mentality.. Their Ways Of Expressing Their Feelings and Feeling Heard and Accepted and Validated .. and Ultimately Open To Receiving Godly Wisdom, Knowledge and Discernment, Advice, Healthy Constructive Criticism, Etc..; We Have To Carefully, Lovingly and Christlike Mold and Shape Our Children. Filling Them Up With ALL Things Of The Lord God Almighty, Daily. Raising Warriors and Ambassadors For Christ! Our Children, Grandchildren and ALL Future Generations, Desperately NEED To Be ALERT and AWARE and PREPARED and READY For What Is Coming and For WHAT .. THEY Will Face and Endure [Etc..]!!

So Again, When It Comes To Our Children and Their Mentality, Feelings, Etc.. —It's Definitely NOT Something To Just Be Nonchalant About, Nor Uninterested In!!

Walk As Children Of The Lord ' Kingdom.. Children Of The Light, and Shine Your Lights Bright For CHRIST, To Your Children and To Everyone Everywhere!!

Build, Shape, Mold, and Fill Up Your Children and Their Mentality, Feelings, Faith, Life, Prayer Life, Their Processing Methodologies, and Coping Mechanisms, (Etc..), Daily, In ALL Things and In ALL Ways .. Of The Lord God Almighty! 🙌🙏 Hallelujah 🙌🙌

RAISE UP COURAGEOUS and FAITHFUL WARRIORS and AMBASSADORS FOR CHRIST! RAISE UP COURAGEOUS and FAITHFUL CHILDREN FOR GOD' GLORY and FOR THE KINGDOM OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! 🙌🙌 Hallelujah 🙌🙌

RAISE 'EM UP LORD! RAISE 'EM UP!! 🙌🙏💯 Hallelujah 🙌🙌

PRAISE THE LORD OUR GOD! 🙌🙌 Hallelujah 🙌🙌

ALL GLORY BE TO THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! 🙌🙌 🙌

AMEN 🙌🙏

We only feel free to express our TRUE feelings when we feel "safe". So when our children express them at home, that means it's THEIR "SAFE" place.

When they control feelings elsewhere they are storing them up. They aren't going away, they are collecting until they can be released in their "safe" place.

Punishing for feelings and the expression of feelings —Teaches children to hide them... After years of practicing this, it usually turns into either depression/anxiety (inward focus) or anger/rage (outward focus). But they are so used to ignoring the feelings that the depression or anger seems to "come out of nowhere".

Temper tantrums and meltdowns are a child's cry for help at managing big feelings. For emotional health we need to teach them appropriate ways to express them, such as:

—praying, belly breathing, counting, exercise, punching pillows, reading, fidget toys, karate, gardening, don't writing/singing, poetry writing, art, bubble bath, playing with a pet, etc.

(NOT eating! NOT screen time! NOT punishment!).

Help Your Child's "SAFE" PLACE — BE Their "SAFE" PLACE For Feelings Too ♥️🙏💛📖💜

Love Always and God Bless Y'all, Abiding In God's Grace ©Ministries {AIGGM} 📨 AbidingInGodsGrace@yahoo.com

[go-redgirl]

FNC’s Carlson: What Was It About Joe Biden’s Shaky Monotone That Inspired CNN’s Talking Heads?

Friday, FNC’s Tucker Carlson reacted to President Joe Biden’s address to the nation a night earlier, which according to Carlson left much to be desired.

After comparing Biden’s address to former Soviet Union dictator Leonid Brezhnev, the Fox News host questioned the fawning approval from CNN hosts and talking heads.

Transcript as follows:

CARLSON: Tons going on, as always. So, there are a lot of stories we could have opened with tonight and we talked about it. But in the end, we couldn’t get our minds off of Joe Biden’s COVID speech.

Did you see that last night? The one where he seems so sad about the lockdowns that have crushed businesses and kept kids out of school, an entire generation, he said, had driven so many to suicide, yet never once mentioned or even hinted that he and his party were the very forces behind those lockdowns.

I’m really sorry about your black eye, he says, as he punches you in the face.

It was bizarre. The whole speech was like that. It had a hallucinogenic quality like it wasn’t quite real.

But then Joe Biden himself isn’t quite real. Maybe that’s the reason he talks that way. Biden has been living in utter seclusion for more than a year. He hasn’t spoken to anyone but his own lackeys.

He hasn’t driven a car or sat on the grass and looked up at the sky or been anywhere or done anything except in the most controlled possible environment. What an incredibly weird life that is.

Joe Biden must imagine that everyone in America is as terrified of corona as he is and is living in the same kind of bunker. Joe Biden is totally cut off.

Alex Berenson described last night speech as late Soviet. The more we thought about it, the more perfect that seemed.

Here’s a clip of Russia’s own Joe Biden, the late Leonid Brezhnev. Like Biden, Brezhnev was very clearly fading in his later years after a series of health problems. Also, like Biden despite his frailty and confusion, Brezhnev never lost his enthusiasm for pointless wars.

He is the one who ordered the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979. In late December of that year, Brezhnev addressed the Soviet youth in a televised speech. As you watch this, see if you can spot the similarities to what you saw last night, and keep in mind when this was shot, Brezhnev was a full five years younger than Joe Biden is today.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

CARLSON: Now, they are trying to tell him how the teleprompter works. He harrumphs a bit and looks vacant, he doesn’t quite get it.

Brezhnev didn’t actually lead Russia by this point, and you can see why. He remained the country’s figurehead, but it was the ideologues behind the scenes who ran the show.

Brezhnev had his own Susan Rice and Barack Obama to make the real decisions. The similarities, as we said, are pretty amazing.

Over at CNN, however, they didn’t see it, or maybe they did see it and they didn’t care. CNN always did love Brezhnev.

In any case, the usual chorus of toadies strained for a high note last night. Watch them tell you how wonderful the speech was, as if you didn’t have a TV and didn’t see it for yourself.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: How refreshing. How human. How compassionate. How American.

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: Biden tried to lift our spirits with a medicinal message about recovering our sense of collective cause. Certainly, it was healing.

VAN JONES, CNN POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: He didn’t say, you need me. He said, I need you. I need you. I mean, my God that is — isn’t that it?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: People always talk about the feeling of the relief hey have hearing Biden, but what he’s doing now soars above that.

LEMON: What the President is saying his help is on the way. We’re all in this together. I need your help. We’re all Americans. Whoo. Hallelujah.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Hallelujah, says Don Lemon. Can I get an amen? Clear the aisles. It’s time for an altar call. Brother Biden is preaching the word. Preach, Brother Biden, preach. Speak. What are these people talking about?

What was it about Joe Biden’s shaky monotone last night that inspired them exactly? Most people found it depressing. Maybe we’re being too literal here.

It probably doesn’t matter what Joe Biden actually said. He could have called for the bombing of Toronto and CNN’s panel of trained seals would still enthusiastically applaud it. It’s their job to enthusiastically applaud what Joe Biden says.

Our job is to try and figure out what Biden’s speech meant for the country. So let’s look at it for a minute.

The lockdowns have been tough, Biden conceded at the outset, God knows how we got them, but we did. Those restrictions will be lifted as soon as we can lift them, and we will return to some version of the country now only dimly remember, we’d really love to do that. We mean it, we’d love it.

But in order to go forward and take the boot off your neck, we’re going to need every American to listen very carefully and to obey our orders. Do what we tell you to do.

Now, that won’t be easy. But if you do it, there is a payoff for good behavior. If you’re obedient, there’s a chance not a guarantee, of course, but a distinct possibility, God-willing, that you may be able to see some of the people you love around July 4th, that could actually happen, ladies and gentlemen. Listen to this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: If we do our part, if we do this together, by July the Fourth, there’s a good chance you, your families and friends will be able to get together in your backyard or in your neighborhood and have a cookout and a barbecue and celebrate Independence Day.

That doesn’t mean large events with lots of people together, but it does mean small groups will be able to get together.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Did you hear that America, there is a good chance, again, not a sure thing. But what is a sure thing these days? But a good chance that you might be allowed to have a modest cookout four months from now. That is as long as you obey regulations weather permitting, and assuming that current Federal projections unfold according to plan. That’s your prize.

This offer by the way does not apply to full-time employees, the radio station or their families.

But with luck, this could be your reward after a year and a half of lockdowns, a Fourth of July cookout in your very own backyard assuming you have one.

Don’t ever tell us that Joe Biden isn’t a compassionate generous man. Here he is offering you with some medically necessary caveats outlined by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the right to cook your own hotdogs. With the provision, obviously, that you do it in a small masked group seated far apart at a prescribed distance from one another.

Don’t get crazy and hug or celebrate or talk too loud or anything like that. Moderation is the key here. But still a socially distanced barbecue. What other wonders does President Biden have in store for us?

Well, you’re going to have to get vaccinated to find out. Sorry, that’s the other requirement. I should have mentioned it. Everybody needs the shot. Period. That’s what Biden said. And that’s a lot of shots.

The good news: now that we’re on what Joe Biden describes as a, quote, “war footing” with this virus, vaccinating people against it is a counterterrorism operation.

What we did to ISIS, we’re going to do to COVID. Biden didn’t mention drones, but we will need soldiers and that’s why Joe Biden is building a Vaccination Corps that will include active-duty members of the military, an army of vaccinators. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: Two months ago, the country — this country didn’t have nearly enough vaccine supply to vaccinate all or ever near all of the American public. But soon we will.

Now because of all the work we’ve done, we’ll have enough vaccine supply for all adults in America by the end of May. That’s months ahead of schedule. And we’re mobilizing thousands of vaccinators to put the vaccine in one’s arm.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Thousands of vaccinators to vaccinate everyone. That sounds amazing, but it does raise at least one vexing question: what if you don’t want to get vaccinated? Not everyone does. Some people have religious objections, other have concerns about this specific medicines. Others simply don’t want it.

Do you need a reason to turn down the vaccine? And what happens if you do turn it down? Will we be allowed to fly on airplanes? Or go to work? Or enter the front doors of Madison Square Garden?

Joe Biden didn’t specify, but it’s pretty hard to believe he would support any kind of vaccine coercion as he has told you so often over so many years, if it’s your body, it’s your choice.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: I support a woman’s right to choose under that constitutional guarantee provision. And quite frankly, I always will.

Folks, you know, and I am going to fight to protect a woman’s right to make her own personal decisions when it gets to your healthcare.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Quite frankly, you’ve got the absolute right to make your own personal decisions about your own personal healthcare. Period. That’s in the Constitution. Joe Biden would never violate that, right. He’s been defending that right since before you were born.

It’s your body. It’s your choice. Period.

Of course, as with everything, there are caveats. If you don’t take the shot that Joe Biden wants you to take, if you persist in making your own personal healthcare, then Joe Biden is going to have to shut the country down again, no socially distanced barbecues for you, buddy. You’re going to have to eat your hotdogs alone inside.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: If we don’t stay vigilant, and the conditions change, and we may have to reinstate restrictions to get back on track.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: To which CNN might say, “Hallelujah,” but we’re not CNN. Instead, we’re left wondering, could there be any civil liberties implications to any of this? We don’t know the answer.

READ MORE STORIES ABOUT:

Clips Media Politics CNN Fox News Channel Joe  Biden Tucker Carlson Tucker Carlson

[calorieworkouts]

13 of the best monthly workout streaming subscriptions that cost less than $40

Thanks to the brave new world of on-demand sweat sessions, playing hooky from your IRL exercise course is no biggie. As well as hallelujah for that, because the concept of leaving your windy, air-conditioned residence to hit a workshop workout course in the mid-heat-wave isn't constantly appealing.

Even if your living-room doesn't yet boast a Peloton bike or treadmill, you can still increase your heart price in the (electronic) company of buzzy health and fitness instructors throughout all categories of workouts: HIIT, yoga, spin, you call it. Type of makes you desire to make your workout line as long as your Netflix one, right?

Keep analysis for 13 of the current on-demand health and fitness classes you can do right from home.

1. Body Love with Anna Victoria, $17 per month

If you, like me, look at the pinheads in the gym with full and also utter incredulity, think about Anna Victoria's Body Love application your no-judgment training hero. Each exercise is 30-40 minutes in length, as well as integrates HIIT strength and also circuit training for a quick hit of sweat that suits any type of active girl's plan. Oh, and you can likewise find delish, 'macro well balanced' dishes on this electronic location, too-- to ensure that's a plus.

2. CorePower Yoga On Demand, $20 per month

One of the nation's most popular yoga exercise studios (literally, their courses are heated up) just recently dropped an on-line platform where you can most likely to meet all your vinyasa demands. Given that CorePower is understood for combining their free-flowing courses with weights, getting hold of a set of pinheads prior to rolling out your floor covering will supply you that 360 experience. However if you do not have a set helpful, 2 water containers or no weight in any way will also do the trick.

3. mF Online, $20 per month

The similarity Karlie Kloss and also Taylor Swift have actually checked out modelFIT's New York City place (it has a second spot in Los Angeles) for practical, little muscle-targeting workouts developed by founder Vanessa Packer and also head trainer Javi Perez. The at-home editions of the workshop's offerings permit you to tone in the house and also are mostly equipment complimentary. Heads up-- some of these 5-20 min sessions call for resistance bands, little hand as well as ankle weights, as well as a Pilates ring.

4. Circuit of Modification, $25 per month

With courses ranging from 5-60 minutes, and also selections of exercises that cover from tribal yoga exercise streams to martial arts, there's something for every person on this app-- regardless of your taste of physical fitness. Circuit of Adjustment also supplies their signature New York City studio course, MindBody Bootcamp, a sweaty fusion of yoga, fighting styles, kickboxing, tribal sequencing, as well as HIIT.

5. DanceBody@Home Online, $35 per month

Prefer to breast a relocate private? No problem. DanceBody@Home now supplies its 5, super-fun trademark courses online. They'll bring the jams, all you need is your body. To actually get the entire studio-at-home ambiance, possibly spend in owner Katia Pryce's wizard (read: not gross and also sweaty) wrist weights-- Also Known As Dancing Bands-- and also Hex Mat.

6. Peloton Digital, $19 per month

Peloton workshops, the cycle and treadmill supernova with IRL areas in the Big Apple, lately launched their very own physical fitness application that permits you to rotate, sprint, or strength train under the advice of amazing teachers-- without handing over the cha-ching necessary to purchase the firm's next-level equipment. In addition to pre-recorded courses, the buzzy's brand's electronic model also enables you to participate from another location with 20 live workshop classes each day. So there's truly no need to sweat solo.

7. 108 Yoga, $14 per month

If you can't creep away to Aruba (* sigh *) to go to Rachel Brathen's Island Yoga Studio, you can still exercise with @yoga_girl and a wide variety of other expert instructors online. The platform supplies thousands of classes on-demand, so variety will not be a problem below. As an extra win, your membership occurs with accessibility to guided reflections and also healthy and balanced food preparation classes. Make sure you have your floor covering and also your yoga obstructs at the ready.

8. Physique 57, $30 per month

Bring the burn of barre class house with these no-equipment, body-sculpting workout video clips. Physique57's streaming service allows you Do It Yourself your exercise with short exercises that can be incorporated into playlists. No question, they'll be killer.

9. Alo Moves, $20 per month

Alo Yoga, who basically concentrates on creating the * most * 'grammable exercise lays out there, just recently declared their electronic square footage with Alo Relocations-- an app including popular trainers like Kino MacGregor, Aubry Marie, and Talia Sutra. In addition to schooling you on handstands as well as proper plank placement, the application likewise uses dancing cardio, core-targeting courses, and more for days when you feel like switching up your asana practice.

10. MNDFL Video, $15 per month

If it's an exercise for your mind you seek, look no farther than the online model of New York's MNDFL reflection workshop. Video clips vary from 1-30 mins and feature themes like breath, heart, as well as even emotions (you recognize-- for days when you have * all * the feelings).

11. FLY Anywhere, $39 per month

Okay, there's definitely an ahead of time price associated with this at-home exercise. When you have actually spent the $1,699 rate of the bike (plus the $400 tablet computer ... and do not neglect the spinning shoes), your Flywheel month-to-month membership is concerning the price of one shop health and fitness studio trip. Not too worn-out. And hi, you'll have access to specialist instructors 24/7.

12. Andrea Speir TV, free

Celeb pilates fitness instructor Andrea Speir brings her much-beloved Santa Monica studio workouts to the display with her YouTube network. Educated by the workshops top teachers, the majority of Speir's streamable classes get on the much shorter side (regarding 10 minutes long), so you can stack legs, core, as well as arm circuits together for a full-length exercise-- or simply appreciate them a la carte.

13. Yogaia, $20 per month

If you self-identify as a circulation addict, you have actually most likely already chaturangad on a Manduka mat: They're the internal fave of store workshops throughout America. As well as currently, the brand won't only be giving the square footage you need to practice on, they're likewise offering you the relocate to do too. Slide on a set of their athleticwear, as well as you're essentially a sponsored yogi.

14. Naturally Sassy, $13 per month

For all those wannabe ballerinas around (existing!), this membership will have you plié-ing our means to Nutcracker condition. These 10-20 minute, body weight only workouts can be stacked up together for a full-on dance routine. Currently all you require is a silk hair scrunchie to end up off your top-knot ... as well as maybe a tutu.

Originally posted January 17, 2018, updated August 8, 2018.

Another bonus of on-demand workouts is that your post-sweat snack is accessible. Here are the go-tos SoulCycle teachers make use of to refuel and the SoulCycle x Milkbar cooperation cookie you don't intend to miss.

[winedark-maverick]

Amaranth, Melon, Canary, Mantis? ✨💜

amaranth:  what’s your favorite emotion?

now, i’m not sure if there a specific name for this feeling other than… happy… but you know that rush you get when you hear your favorite part of your favorite song and the volume is just right and it just… hits you? yeah, that’s definitely up there as one of my favorites.

melon:  do you like to dance?

it depends! the thought of dancing at something like a party… h o r r e n d o u s! school dances were literally the bane of my existence. That being said, dancing in the car? in my kitchen while playing music much too loud? with my friends to the tinny grocery store playlist while deciding how many dinner rolls to buy? absolutely a m a z i n g!

canary:  favorite song?

this is a very hard one as i love so many different songs for so many different reasons… so i’m going to cheat lol… here’s a list of just a few… 

hallucinations by pvris, please by saro, my hallelujah and oxford blood by autoheart, all went black by the haunt,  hallelujah by jeff buckley, lovesick by finn, borders by fyfe, panic room by au/ra (and many many others)

mantis:  favorite animal?

i love so many!! for right now i’m going to say red foxes though!

xoxo,

em

(send me a letter and i’ll send you my heart) (colour asks)

[thedrowsydoormouse]

@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam asked and I shall deliver!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My boyfriend. He took me to the mall for dinner and shopping after my therapy!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Very shy but once you get to know me I’m a ball of chaotic energy!

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Right now no one.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think I am.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I would say my friend, Penny, but she’d probably be even more drunk than I am! So I think my friend, Daisy, or my boyfriend because they both have a background in medicine and would know what to do!

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 

Cool people. And people who are unafraid to be nerdy about things they love!

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I should hope so! Or else something went seriously wrong!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

I keep mentioning my boyfriend but that’s only because he’s sitting right next to me and just stole a slice of pizza off my plate!

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Usually no! I’m very pro sex and pro discussing sex so it hopefully becomes less taboo and we can get some proper sex education.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist. And I immediately broke the tension with a joke that made her laugh so hard she cried!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

 “I’m done.” I was waiting for my ride to pick me up from the hair salon!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Monster by dodie, My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire, Hallelujah by Pentatonix, Rolling in the Deep by Gretta Van Fleet, Bottom of the River by Delta Rae

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

It depends on the person.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Luck yes. Miracles no.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Technically it happened during summer (even though it happened in September but it was still Summer so it counts) but I met my boyfriend!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

100% yes! 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. It’d be weird if there wasn’t. It may not be life like we know it but there is some form of life out there.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I only take bubble baths!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I hardly know enough about them to form an opinion.

21. What are you bad habits?

How much time we got?

22. Where would you like to travel?

I would love to go back to New York and to the Japanese Disney parks!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Food. Beautiful amazing food!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My back. I have two weird scar type things on it that look nasty and I try to hide.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check the time an see if I can go back to sleep.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Any lighter and I would literally glow and any darker and I wouldn’t be able to pull off the goth look so effortlessly so I’d say I’m pretty happy with my skin!

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My close friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Several of them have tried getting back together after we broke up only to find I had already moved on.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

It’s down to about my waist so it’s be weird if I couldn’t pull it into a pony tail! The comfort of it, though, is a whole other issue!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Margot Robbie and Brian Dietzen.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

No.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

*laughs until I’m crying*

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I need music to survive!

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually crack a joke.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Smart, funny, amazing in bed!

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

They’re pretty much all online!

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already out of high school.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m distracted, people keep talking over me, or somethings seriously wrong.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If it’s a kid or an old woman, yes. But never men.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space. The ocean is terrifying.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Food. Or having to pee.

46. What are you paranoid about?

A lot of shit! I’m a nervous, panic-y mother fucker!

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yes.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Nope! I love myself way too much!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Nothing!

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I’ve been wearing a lot of Blackmoon, Milk, and Lime Crime lately.

54. Favourite store?

Total Wines.

55. Favourite blog?

Mine!

56. Favourite colour?

Deep red.

57. Favourite food?

Sushi!

58. Last thing you ate?

I’m currently eating pizza! That is if my boyfriend stops stealing my slices!

59. First thing you ate this morning? 

I actually didn’t get a chace to eat until dinner when I had a BBQ chicken salad.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in middle school for writing a burn book.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope!

63. Ever been in love?

Yes! 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was a junior in high school and I was talking with one of my friends during Winter Formal and neither of us had ever been kissed so I just said “then kiss me” so she did and we spent the rest of the night making out.

65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m eating right now.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Yes.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Neither.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I’m listening to music.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I have too many to list. I’d literally be here all night.

71. Craving something? What?

Pumpkin spice.

72. What colour are your towels?

I have a ton of towels and none of them match because I’m a human dumpster fire.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

As many as possible.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I have no clue.

75. Favourite animal?

Cats.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Dublin Mudslide from Ben & Jerry’s.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Hot Pink.

80. What colour pants?

Teal.

81. Favourite tv show?

I can’t pick just one!

82. Favourite movie?

See above!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

The first one!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls!

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janice Ian!

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?

My mom.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Not sure yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

Trump.

90. Name a person you love?

My boyfriend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

See #89. 92. In a fight with someone?

Usually.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I lost count.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

I love being comfy.

95. Last movie you watched?

Spaceballs.

96. Favourite actress?

Margot Robbie.

97. Favourite actor?

Does John Mullaney count.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never.

99. Have any pets?

A chubby puppy named Zorro!

100. How are you feeling?

Pretty good!

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes, depending on how long my nails are.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes and no.

103. Can you spell well?

Sort of.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes.

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing.

109. Is something irritating you right now?How long this is taking.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

You’ve already asked this.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend, Sabrina.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I hate them so I’m not putting them.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yes.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes.

119. Favourite book?

I don’t really read that much anymore.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

I can be.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Only if you really didn’t have time to study and you don’t get caught. (Hint: hide the cheat sheet between you’re thighs or up your skirt so that way if you do get caught you can pin it on the teacher being a perv.)

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I’ve never owned any so I have no clue.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes.

127. What makes you happy?

Food.

128. Would you change your name?

Yes.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius.

130. Do you like subway?

No.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I mean i hope they like me or else my marriage is about to get very awkward!

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

You asked this one already.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Tell me again about how it hurts Being awfully loud for an introvert 

  134. Can you count to one million?

I’ve never tried nor had the time to try.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

It’s my dad’s signature.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open just a crack.

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Mine is curly and I prefer curls.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

It depends on the person.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

October.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but almost.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Yes.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Neither.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Fuck it.” - Me 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

This is the 3rd repeat question.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The only book I have near me is super tiny and doesn’t have 42 pages.

[kingfallshistoricallibrary-blog]

Episode Nine - Jack in the Box Jesus

Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out, this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading on your tablet go down to the King Falls library and check out the real thing! And instead of texting your BFF go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s and have a face-to-face chat.This isn’t as bad as it seems and it could be a blessing in disguise. [intro] Sammy: Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM Ben: That’s 660 on the radio dial. Sammy: and this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls electrolocaust. Ben: This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career. Sammy: It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you and everyone out there listening for the continuing support of the show. Ben: We got another doozy of a show for you tonight King Falls. During our two we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects that shut down this (?) business. Sammy: MMYAs well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening. Ben: I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule, our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks! Sammy: I know, buddy. Ben: I would literally watch channel 13 if given the chance. Sammy: Wow. That’s saying a lot. Ben: I need my life back. Sammy: King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold? Ben: I’d listen to boy bands to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pod collection if you give me five minutes with my email. Sammy: Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down the library, and I haven’t called you out on it, Ben: That’s calling me out on it. Sammy: Well, and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @ king falls a.m., I’m not saying I don’t miss it but I’m enjoying this a little bit. Ben: It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you

Sammy: The references are not gonna bring back your goods. Ben: Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system. Sammy: You’re live with Sammy and Ben. Cynthia: Yeah, I wanna talk about the outages. Sammy: Cynthia Higgenbaum ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis? Cynthia: I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous. Ben: Whoa, that’s, that’s a heck of a change. Cynthia: What are you trying to say, Ben? Sammy: It’s just usually- you’ve been a little.. pessimistic in the past. Cynthia: Oh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is pursuing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching, I’m at peace. It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus with Jesus back in all- Ben: 50 shades of Cynthia Cynthia: Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I know your mother! Sammy: I’m sorry Cynthia, did you just say that Jesus is back? Cynthia: Have you guys not heard the news? Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus? Cynthia: There’s only one. Sammy: Well, I think Mexico would disagree but please tell us why you think Jesus is- Cynthia: I don’t think Sammy I know! Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack In The Box. Ben: The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue? Cynthia: Ew, nobody does to Red Oak. Sammy: Jack In The Box Jesus. Cynthia: Oh, hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited- Sammy: Oh, I mean, I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to- Cynthia: Tell it to Satan, In hell, Sammy! [hangs up] Ben: Woah, this is big. Sammy: If you or someone you know has had a sighting of Jack In The Box Jesus please give us a call. 424-279-3858 Ben: You’re on King Falls AM. Troy: Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in. Ben: Not what I was thinking. Sammy: What do you know Troy? Troy: Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Jack in the Box around 9, So I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on, there he was. Sammy: Now are you really telling us that you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings banging outside the Jack In The Box? Troy: Well, he was a man, somebody’s son no doubt. Bearded, good looking, if you are into that sort of thing. He had a robe on- Ben: We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black? Troy: He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really. Sammy: The man had an aura around him. Troy: It was shinier than the damn Fukushima foxhound fellas. Like I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I didn’t want to be cliché. Sammy: Alright, Troy. So, work with us here you’re in the back of the Jack In The Box, there’s a uh, Jesus type guy. Troy: Just-a-ramblin’ on. Ben: Speaking in tongues? Troy: Speaking in something. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snider’s daughter. Sammy: So what happened next? Troy: Well a group of lucky-loos had descended as I said and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I started ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody, Roy Higgens if you gotta know, hollered out ‘it’s Jesus!’ and the whole parking lot just went bonkers! Ben: Well, did you speak to the guy? Troy: Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz, And he shouldn’t be squawking around like a little baby. Ben: No, Jack in the box Jesus. Troy: Oh, well no. I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods I suspect. Sammy: Did you follow him? Troy: Sammy, so you’re telling me that you’d follow a 6 foot tall and glowing perp into the woods? Sammy: Point taken. Ben: So any other sightings? Troy: Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could have had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet too? That’s pretty damn impressive. Sammy: Is there an APB out or anything? Troy: For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad, just acting a fool, Lord forgive me, where he shouldn’t have been. Ben: And glowing. Troy: That’s right. Sammy: Well, please let us know if get any more info on this Troy, we’d appreciate it. Troy: You bet, I’ll be sure to keep you boys in the listen and the public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus, do not approach, bother or pester. Just call up ol’ deputy Troy. [hangs up] Ben: ..or your local church. Sammy: Deputy Troy ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy. Ben: Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this Sammy: What? Ads pay the bills remember? Ben: Folks, as a work around with all the tech issues, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors, new and old. Emphasis on old after this one. Sammy: Ok so the audio is bad. Ben: You could say that. Sammy: This company’s paid up, they’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks. [ad] Carl: Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in, it’ll be our little secret. A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste, come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it. Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just because they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doesn’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parent’s permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens] Troy: Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone. Carl: I gotta go, catch ya later

??: The mic! [End] Sammy: Never again. Ben: I tried to tell you. Sammy: I know. Let’s never speak about this. Ben: I need a shower. Sammy: Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour just off main street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of– Ben: Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Sammy: Right, let’s go to the phone lines. Ben: That was good though right? Sammy: It was good. Good evening, you are live on King Falls AM. Reverend: Ask and you shall receive. King Falls-uh. It is the good Reverend Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne. Ben: Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town? Reverend: The one and only, and we are turnin’ the wagons around as we speak. And we’re heading back to my flock. How’re y’all feelin’ tonight, King Falls? I said How are you, feelin’! Sammy: We’re feeling alright. REVEREND HAWTHORN   Praise God-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a sighting. A vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city. Sammy: Yeah, about 9 o’clock here. Reverend: Could it be-uh, that our 5 week revival worked. Could it be-uh that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen! Ben: Reverend Hawthorne w- Reverend: Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a mountain of sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most highly favored congregation back to the promised land. Have me some organ Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in the background] Sammy: Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case? Ben: This is getting good. Reverend: Play it dirty brother. We are going home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the eternal salvation; are you saved? Sammy: I’m- Reverend: The let me tell y’all, because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town, one weekend only, the Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ back into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get one-on-one with the Risen Christ and start preparing for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you turnt up with God-uh. [hangs up] Sammy: Xavier? Hello? Ben: He’s, gone. Sammy. Sammy: Well, you heard it here first folks Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack In The Box Jesus make his stage debut? Ben: Jesus. Sammy: Literally. Ben: Do you think we can get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or- Sammy: Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben. Ben: I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy. Sammy: What a perfect place to make a return, a rinky-dink town with no internet. Ben: Line -dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben. Archie: Good evenin’ fellas! Sammy: Is thi- Archie: It’s Archie Simmons! Ben: Hey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth? Archie: Well, I do have news concerning the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back. Sammy: About the werewolves? Archie: Correct. Sammy: Wow, I mean you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf. Archie: And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed. Sammy: I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie. Archie: You silly sally, Troy’s already on his way over now Ben: Why the change of heart Archie? Archie: Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy: You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack In The Box? Archie: Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with. Sammy: Uh-huh. Archie: Plus with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this. Ben: You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie? Archie: She’s in a delicate condition. Sammy: Oh, well of course. I mean she’s been through a lot. Archie: No Sammy, I mean that she is with child. Children. Puppies? There’s a bun in the $2400 oven boys! Sammy: Wait, she’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack? Archie: Well, that’s the thing, while I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think.. Ben: What, what do you think Archie? Archie: I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on. Sammy: You don’t think it was the werewolves. Archie: I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired bearded man in the biblical act, yeah I think there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs. Ben: Upstairs from whom? Archie: Mankind! Come on Ben get with the preacher. Sammy: He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight, which we should all be a little bit doubtful of, then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega. Ben: No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon. Archie: I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into. Ben: No way. This is ludicrous. Archie: You just wait and see Ben. Princess may have lost her Westminster dream, all part of God’s plan. Ben: We’ve got to go Archie [laughs] you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM. Archie: Judge not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters! [Hangs up] Sammy: You know when I walk in the door every night I say to myself, ‘Nothing’s going to surprise me tonight’ And more times than not, I am just dead wrong. Ben: Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy: Not a bad idea Ben. [notification sound] Ben: What? Oh my phone! [many notifications] Oh it’s back baby! Sammy: Me too! What’s going on? Ben: What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs. Sammy: Hey, I’ve got a text here, unknown number. Ben: Ok, what does it say? Sammy: I know why this happened, I know how to stop it, we need to talk Ben: What? Sammy: No, that’s what the text said. Ben: You don’t think this has anything to do with.. Thank you, Jesus. [credit music plays]

[choisgirls]

This sounded cute to me, but idk. Mc moving in with rfa+V+saeran? Like getting a house or apartment together. (or in jumin's case a giant ass penthouse, smh rich people)

A/N: I just wow i loVE THIS okay thank you ~Admin 404

Smh rich people indeed (i had way too much fun with V and i had to stop myself from going on and on) ~ Admin 626

*YOOSUNG:-I think the two of you would end up with a small apartment to start out! Move up to a house a while after he starts his career-Your living room is only part living room. Everyone has to fight each other to sit on the couch when they visit-It’s only part living room because y’all spoil Lisa to no eND so there’s a huge cat tree and a ton of cat play houses jumin approves and actually gets a few of the playhouses for y’all-Sure you could have made that extra room a cat room but???? No???-Game room????-IT’S LITERALLY THE BEST ROOM IN Y’ALLS APARTMENT it’s decked out in all of your nerdy-gaming related things (figures, posters, games themselves) and seriously it’s just pride and joy nerd-Your bedroom is overrun with plushies, neither of you can really tell whose is whose anymore-He makes you breakfast every day! The first day, he tried to bring it to you in bed but that was a disaster when he tripped over the plushies and you woke up with an omelette on your face-Y’alls apartment is covered in cute things- stickers are everywhere, homemade gifts and decorations, and it just looks kinda like pinterest threw up in the apartment-Your kitchenware is SO CUTE like your ladle is nessie, your measuring cups are whale shapes, and he has these cartoon cups that he tried hiding from you but they’re just so cute you can’t help yourself

*JUMIN:-Y’all didn’t have to get a new place, he just moved you into his penthouse i mean didn’t he already in his route, LMAO-But anything you want, he will get it for you-He has a lot more cat shaped things than you originally thought though-Like cat shaped bowls, has a few coffee mugs with cats on them, things like that-NOW THAT Y’ALL LIVE TOGETHER YOU GET TO SEE THOSE SWEAT PANTS HE’S TALKED ABOUT, HALLELUJAH-He gives you complete control of decorating but it’s like??? Jumin I wanted to do this together???-So he helps pick out throw pillows, new art pieces, anything you ask him to do-The one thing he requires is a tON OF PICTURES OF THE TWO OF YOU-FRAMED, HANGING, EVERYWHERE-Seriously there’s a painting of the two of you plus Elizabeth hanging up in the house but at least it’s adorable

*SAEYOUNG:-Also just moves you into his house- i mean why not, it’s big enough-IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND BECAUSE HE’S SUCH A FUCKING DORK-Y’all don’t even sleep in your bed for like the first week, you two are having pillow forts in the living room-You can have a room to yourself, for whatever you’re passionate about. Gaming? He has a room for that, he’ll share. Art? Room for you. A room dedicated to your favourite figurines from your favourite games or shows? He’ll have to get you a separate room he isn’t sharing his-He’s got plates that are planets and they’re AMAZING y’all i almost bought some the other day omg-But he’s such a brat, like he plays pranks on you to wake you up-You’ve woken up to whipped cream in the face more times than you can count but you’ve also woken him up with cold water soooo-No item in the house is safe from you two “playing” if you catch my drift wink wonk-Saeran hates both of you so much

*SAERAN:-Definitely not used to having you actually live with him-You walked in the bathroom while he was in the shower and you never knew that he could scream so high pitched-Black out curtains throughout the house because???? The sunlight sucks-He’s actually lowkey really cute and likes to put pictures of the two of you in frames and just put them on bookshelves or hang them up-But then he like denies that he puts them up??? “Idk how it got there, it looks terrible” uh yeah okay-YOUR KITCHEN IS THE MOST DECKED OUT ROOM because the two of you actually really like to cook and it’s a bonding thing -Otherwise, your bedroom is decked out with the comfiest bed, blankets, and coolest TV because MOVIE MARATHONS-Every time you buy some cute little ceramic animals you can’t find it ten minutes later. He hides them in various places because he hates them-Actually really loves the idea of painting the ceiling like the sky with some clouds but only in the bedroom, the rest of the house cannot deal with that-The two of you pick out everything together! Everything has nice neutral tones,everything goes together perfectly (just like the two of you aw cuties)

*ZEN- with zen, it wasn’t a slow move in where u just kinda leftthings at his house and things slowly collected over time- nah that’s not Zen’s style- of course he would make a big deal about you moving in- “mC YOU CAN’T STAY OVER WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF US”- “Zen we’ve already done the diddly do, what r u ashamedof”- honestly ur lucky he didn’t make y’all wait til after youguys got married- but it’s worth the wait!!!- Zen completely redid his place just for you - he denies the fact that jumin helped him but u knowjumin did- it’s so cute!!!- piCTURES OF U EVERYWHERE- the kitchen has a whole lot of sweet things bc he knows ulove sweets-there’s a sex swing in his bedroom- Seeing Zen in sweats??? H O T- Zen sees in ur pajamas? He suddenly has to go shower???- Poor you gets roped into Zen’s workouts- he claims it’s ur fault since ur sweets are fattening himup-  living with him issuper peaceful tho???- he has self care days??? Who does that???- face masks, bubble baths with candles, treats himself tomani pedis- and he takes such good care of you!- because of him, you eat more healthy! The sweets aretreats okay- and because of you, zen becomes a little more lowkeybecause you can’t always handle his dramatic ass everyone in the group chatkisses ur feet for that- You two brought out the best in each other  *JAEHEE- honestly her apartment is the tiniest thing in the world- like you know the episode of Futurama where Fry moves inwith Bender?- yeah, that small- you guys end up finding a super cute apartment!!!- it is on the smaller side but it’s super cozy- flowers everywhere!!! You want the place bright for whenJaehee comes home from work - y’all have too many pillows on your bed and sofas but it’SWORTH IT- there’s a little reading nook you guys managed to create!- also, all the RFA hoes come over all the time- no matter what u guys do, u can’t stop it- one time you couldn’t get rid of Saeyoung for weeksbecause Jaehee figured out DIY Honey Buddha chips- as much as you two protest, one day futons magicallyappeared on the floor for them- Jaehee is the sweetest roommate!!!- she always leaves u little notes everywhere to let u knowshe loves you- she folds down the page corners of store catalogues if shethinks you’d like them- and she always somehow has a cup of coffee ready for youwhenever u need it???- she’s a magician- and you always makes sure she eats and rests enough  *V- You guys get a house together!- You needed a room for work and he needed a room for hisart, so an apartment was definitely out of the question- you love decorating the house with him???- hE MAKES EVERYTHING SO CUTE- He hung up Christmas lights in your room! Who does that!V’s hipster ass, that’s who- Polaroids and other pictures eVERYWHERE- and of course this guys gets a record player- he puts it in the kitchen and he dances with you in thekitchen when you two cook together- actually he just dances with you when he can, music or not- you guys end up having a mini library because V is superinto learning about other cultures??? He has books on everything u can name- he ends up taking u out like every week for aestheticpics, you cant get out of it no matter what- sometimes he makes you get up to watch the sunrise withhim- it’s okay tho, u get back at him with a nERF WAR- and sometimes you use a marshmallow shooter against himrandomly- “hey mc have u seen m-“- “have U SEEN BOFA DEEZ NUTS”- he just stands there getting hit by marshmallow as hestares off into the distance- think of the scene from parks and rec when Andy shoots Benwith marshmallows- honestly u two are so cute and silly together, and all isright in the world

[pretentiousrecordstoreguy]

Andrew Wood - The Jesus Christ of Grunge

I worked at a record store for most of my college days. The pay was terrible, the customers had bad taste (for the most part), and the owner was always doing some untoward stuff that later resulted in his partner kicking him out of the business… but it may have been the best job I’ve ever had. Why was it the best job ever?  Because my income was supplemented by an unending supply of promo CDs, first crack at all CDs being traded in by customers, and my name always happened to make it onto the guest list of two of the three big music venues in town. Plus my co-workers were a diverse group of equally music-obsessed nerds, punk rockers, hip-hop enthusiasts and an Anglophile manager who became one of my best friends. It was pretty epic, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.


Working in a record store also gave me special insight into crazy rabbit hole of music theory conspiracies. My buddy Ryan Shaw had this theory about Andrew Wood, the lead singer of Mother Love Bone and the first major heroin casualty of the grunge era. His theory was that Andrew Wood was the prophet that rock and roll was promised, that he would be overlooked and ridiculed in his own time, and then sentenced to death for the sins of rock and roll, only to be resurrected and live eternally through his disciples and their testimony. 


In other words, Andrew Wood was the Jesus Christ of Grunge who had to die for the sins of Hair Metal so that Rock and Roll could live on. 


SIDE NOTE: My buddy Ryan was an ordained minister who later became a trial lawyer, so that gives credence to the underpinning philosophy of the theory.  

Much like B.C. and A.D., prior to Andrew Wood there was no “Alternative” but after his death we started living in the Alternative age. Grunge, Indie and Nu-Metal, Emo, and Alt-Country were all new gospels that were written in the aftermath of Andrew Wood’s passing... So if Andrew Wood was the Jesus Christ of Grunge, who were his apostles?

Stone Gossard as SIMON/PETER - The rock upon which the Temple of the Dog was built, literally. Stone Gossard is the through line for the Seattle sound and was ever present in its inception. From his time at Green River to Mother Love Bone to Temple of the Dog to Pearl Jam and then Brad, Gossard was the foundation stone. Without Stone Gossard, would there even be grunge? Stone is the rhythm (along with his brother Jeff Ament) from which the music is manifested. Gossard may never have been front and center in all of the bands he formed, but he spoke softly and carried a big axe.

Chris Cornell as JOHN - John was the disciple whom Jesus loved the most. 
Chris was Andrew’s roommate and best friend. When Andrew overdosed, Chris was on a European tour with Soundgarden striking his own Jesus Christ pose. Chris was so grief stricken with the loss that he immediately wrote two songs “Say Hello 2 Heaven” and “Reach Down” about Wood. Chris showed them to Stone and Jeff, and Temple of the Dog was formed to honor their late friend. Chris would later hit mainstream success with Soundgarden and with Audioslave (which was just okay but waaaayyy to mellow for a band composed of members of Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden).


Jeff Ament as ANDREW (Simon/Peter’s brother) - Ament was right there with Stone in Green River, Mother Love Bone, Temple of the Dog and then Pearl Jam. He’s the bass that pulses the heartbeat of the music. Plus, his graphic design sense provided the classic look and feel of all the liner notes and album packaging for those bands (which along with flannel, long hair, and Doc Martens worn with shorts, were essential cornerstones of the era). Through Ames Bros. Design, Pearl Jam’s visual aesthetic was really set in stone and their tour posters became must-have’s for screen print enthusiasts everywhere. Music never looked so good. Eddie Vedder as JAMES, SON of ALPHAEUS - Some people say that James was literally Jesus’ little brother, while other’s interpret it metaphorically because upon dying Jesus said to James that Mary was now his mother, and James was now her son. Either way, Eddie Veddie was the younger brother of Andrew Wood who then took his mother’s hand and ushered in a new era of grunge. Eddie would tell you that he’s no fucking messiah, which is meant as a testament to the love he had for his brother.


SIDE NOTE: I almost had Eddie as Paul/Saul, not one of the original 12 apostles, but one of the most steadfast and true disciples of Jesus whose writings to the Romans and to the Corinthians would help shape Christian philosophy for many centuries to come. As the lead singer and songwriter of Pearl Jam, you could make a case that Eddie is Paul, but I don’t think he’s gentile enough for that. He’s Eddie Vedder, and that’s an entirely different essay.

Kurt Cobain as SIMON THE CANAANITE or SIMON THE ZEALOT - 
Simon the Zealot was known for strictly keeping the law of Moses (the Ten Commandments) and had great disregard for where he saw people headed. In Jesus, Simon found someone who was practicing what he preached. Simon would go on to evangelize the gospel in much of the west including throughout Egypt and into Africa. Kurt Cobain hated the mainstream and was a zealot when it came to grunge. He spread the word far and high and carried the tradition well. 
 Layne Staley as THADDEUS - Cool name. Cool band. When a jar of flies is kept for too long, the man in a box digs some dirt. Staley of Alice in Chains and Mad Season fame burned out too soon, but man was he cool.

Dave Grohl as MATTHEW/LEVI - Matthew/Levi was the tax collector who gave up his job and life to follow Jesus. He was the author of one of the gospels (Gospel of Matthew). Grohl was a drummer who later gave up that life to lead his own band, the Foo Fighters, who went on to become one of the biggest alternative bands (and David Letterman’s favorite band). 
 Kim Thyll as JAMES (brother of John) - James was John’s brother who followed him along and became an apostle. He had a moment of doubt when Jesus came back to life and doubted that it was really Jesus. Kim followed Chris Cornell into Soundgarden and preached the gospel upon a black hole sun. He later had many doubts when Chris left the band and stored to become a pop singer and then started Audioslave, which was terrible. Eventually, Soundgarden reformed and the word could go on being spread, one music hall, arena or outdoor festival at a time.

Jerry Cantrell as BARTHOLOMEW - Cool name. Cool band. Do the Bart, man! Mark Arm as PHILIP - Philip was an apostle, but he didn’t really matter. He was there at the start and probably did some stuff but you can’t really remember it. That’s kind of like Mark Arm and Mudhoney. He started Green River and recruited Stone Gossard to the band because he only wanted to sing instead of sing and play guitar. Then He formed Mudhoney. They had a moment for a slight minute but most people couldn’t tell them apart from Tad. How’s that for a Judgement Night?


Courtney Love as MARY MAGDALENE - Go listen to Hole’s second record, Live Through This, and you’ll be asking Courtney if you could wash HER feet. From start to finish, that album is all killer and no filler, regardless of wether Kurt Cobain wrote it (allegedly) or not. 


Thurston Moore as JUDAS - Sonic Youth were grunge before grunge was a thing. They ushered in the alt-rock movement and were preaching the gospel way before it was cool. In another world, Thurston Moore would have been John the Baptist, but he blew up the band by betraying Kim Gordon, which caused the inevitable break up of one of the best bands ever. So, yeah. Thurston Moore is Judas.         

Paul Westerberg as JOHN THE BAPTIST - He came first and helped lay the groundwork for the alternative movement. This could have easily gone to Michael Stipe of R.E.M., but The Replacements were much better and spawned a legion of followers. The Mats work in the 80s at Twin Tone and in Minneapolis would help to set up the dynamic that would take place in Seattle with Sub Pop. Westerberg couldn’t hardly wait…

With Pearl Jam having recently been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, now more than ever, we should give thanks and praise to the great Andrew Wood, the Captain Hi-Top, Love Commander (it is right to give him thanks and praise). For he so loved rock and roll and that he was forced to suffer, die and was buried for its sins so that rock could be reborn again. May he rest in peace today, knowing that his words still resonate with the masses.

So come bite the apple, my fellow star dog champions.      

Hide your mom. Control your sister.  Yeah.

Can I get a Hallelujah?

A reading from the Book of Stone

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post has been updated to correct two errors found within the text.

[mestos]

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

--Jonghyun’s “Hallelujah”, my favourite song.

I want to send him off well, so I apologize in beforehand for this long post.

If you were one of my long-term followers, I assume you know of the time my url was locket-mesti, or locktae, right?

Yeah, there was that time. During early 2014, that was my url instead of what it currently is, mestos. It was a fusion of both the fandom names for a Key Stan and a Taemin stan - locket, and taemint respectively. When I first got into Shinee, I fell in love with Key, but the more I got into it I fell for Taemin as well. During that time I usually changed my url to what fandom I was in, and as I have been in actively in the shinee fandom, that was my url.

I first got into KPOP through SHINee. One of my close friends used to always be on her phone, and because we were allowed to listen to music in class, I always reprimanded her to do her work because I didn’t want to lose that privilege. Then she let me listen to some KPOP songs - introduced me to what I refer to as the “cursed” song because it was too catchy, T-ARA’s Bo Peep Bo Peep - such as SISTAR19′s Ma Boy, Wheesung’s UUU, Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry, etc. 

Then she let me listen to SHINee’s songs.

We watched a couple of their lives together, and I was pretty entranced with the way they danced. Lucifer was perhaps my favourite at the time because it was so catchy. After a time where I came over to her house I decided to look into SHINee, and I was absolutely in love with Jonghyun’s voice. I loved the way he carried those high notes so well, and his vocal range truly astounded me. Although he wasn’t my type at the time, he really stood out with the way he presented himself as a singer. It made him so memorable. 

During that time - even I cringe at the memory - I decided to dwelve into the fandom. I read lots of RPF, had my own share of OTPs, I was just so into Shawol hell. I listened to all their albums, watched all their variety show appearances, kept my favourites on repeat during my tough and hard moments. Eventually, it became a point where I just really loved all five of them equally, and I just say a name if I had to choose. Taemin’s solo got me sold on him, which is why I would say “Taemin” if I were asked to choose a bias, but even so, I loved all of them.

Then Jonghyun’s solo was announced!! I was so happy and proud because in my honest opinion, while Taemin’s was great, Jonghyun was the real singer. His ability to sing will always be at the top and no one will ever surpass his level out of the ones that I love now. I respect him as a musician because of his ability to compose and create songs with lots of feeling as well as showcase them in the greatest way possible. His looks weren’t bad either; after a while, I realized he was the most handsome in the band, with Minho coming second in my opinion. 

Then I listened to the album medley. I knew instantly that all of the tracks would be a massive hit. Hallelujah stood out to me the most, but literally every song was amazing. I highly encourage all of you to listen to it because it was the very first time I’ve ever loved every single song in an album. Not only the music, the music video’s aesthetic was so good - I remember being destroyed when his shirtless scenes came on haha - but in overall; I was just so proud of how far he came. I know I hadn’t been there in the fandom since he debuted, but I did my own backtracking and watched so many appearances and tv variety and interviews and concerts that they held over the years to keep up to date, and really; you’re able to really see how he grew.  

The album also holds some sentimental value to me. A friend of mine who had returned to South Korea had bought me the physical copy, and it was during a time where there was a bit of rift between my friendship circle, so I felt truly blessed when I was able to hold it in my hands. I was so happy, I made a scene in school - I’m embarrassed of it now - when I saw. When I was finally able to look at his photoshoots with my own eyes, in person, and listen to the full version of the bonus track he had for the physical-only copy, I realized that yeah, perhaps Jonghyun would be the man I’d stan after all.

So from that day, I became a bling bling stan. His stans have a funny name, but its catchy, and I’ll never forget it. I’ll always be a bling bling stan forever even if he is no longer here. 

Needless to say, my interest in SHINee gradually declined which I’m sadly guilty of. I returned back to them when they released their beautiful hit comeback “View”, and I loved “Odd Eye” so much. I’m actually listening to it as I type this. It’s definitely one of my most TOP FAVOURITE SONGS in all of the songs I’ve listened to. Watching their promotions, I just grew to love Jonghyun so much. I listened to his Blue Night Radio broadcasts from time to time and I truly admired his character and his overall niceness. I just loved him so much.

And because of that...I also knew he was going through a tough time.

I’m ashamed of...of forgetting.

During that time I was more conflicted because I was going through my own rough edges. I wasn’t able to get over Kris, Luhan and Tao leaving EXO, and I was generally unable to think of any other band than EXO. I became a full EXO-L at the time and arrogantly said “I actually don’t care about SHINee all that much anymore” at some point. Which was dumb, because I also at the time said “I wish I had just stayed in SHINee World so I don’t have to feel this pain”.

As my eventual KPOP frenzy toned down over the years, I still never stopped listening to KJH’s songs. I listened to them wherever I went, because they were always like an angel’s singing to my ears. Hallelujah most especially. I often listened to it as I walked home and tried to clear my thoughts or get them straight. The song got me through my rough times ; when I was at the lowest of the low ; and became one of my saving graces because of how beautiful it sounded. How Jonghyun’s voice sounded.

Just recently, I hadn’t really been into KPOP as much as before...then I hear the news.

It felt like my whole world just broke.

With no exaggeration, I didn’t feel anything at first. Literally. I skimmed through the internet, twitter especially, for anything that would claim this as fake. I literally could not believe that the man with the heavenly voice was gone. 

Then I moved from my chair, opened my light, and picked up the album that I stored away for safe keeping. My hands were shaking as I flicked through the images, took a picture, posted it on Instagram as a tribute, but at that moment I was still in numbing shock.

When I turned off the light, I fell to my knees and hugged the album tightly. My tears just poured out of me as if everything that had been weighing me down was finally being released. I cried for so long, on the floor amid a mess of a room I have, just holding his album tightly. Through the darkness I searched for his face in the posters of SHINee I hung up my wall, through the faintness of the light from the laptop screen, I just stared at his face, unable to face the truth.

I then decided to bite my tears down and found some strength. I put myself back on my chair and took out the CD from the album and opened it on my laptop. I hadn’t listened to Hallelujah in months - perhaps not even this entire year. When I clicked it and I heard his lines, 

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

I really couldn’t stop myself. I weeped, I sobbed, I couldn’t do anything except cry as the album played. I really didn’t know what else I could do. 

After some time, I found some strength, in the darkness with nothing but the computer screen’s brightness as my light.

After that, it was a bit of a blur. I spoke to a friend, but I forced myself to draw something as I thought it would get my mind busy. Which is why this picture exists; I was projecting my feelings through Illium.

Eventually the official statement came by and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I shut everything off at around 4:30am, and in the dawn with the skies brightening up to signify a new day, I felt nothing but despair.

At night, I had no dreams. I usually have one, but this time, I had no dreams.

When I woke up in the afternoon I felt like I hadn’t slept. I felt nauseous, as per usual. I skimmed through twitter feed and there was nothing but tributes. My eyes were swollen, and my friend came over to stay the night, and the two of us just talked and talked about it.

The day was enjoyable because the two of us were able to comfort each other, but I often cried. Can I just admit I really hate crying? Because contrary to what people say, it doesn’t make me feel better. It makes me feel pathetic. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like I could be using my time doing something else instead of feeling these stupid things spill from my eyes and ruin my face.

Since then, I’ve been empty. Illium and MapleStory have been helping me get my mind busy, but all I was doing was ignoring the problem, which I’m facing now.

One of the reasons why I was so affected by this one celebrity death is because I know how he feels.

My parents tell me I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be. I tell myself I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be.

But do you know how it feels, when nothing in your life is wrong, things are fine, but yet you can’t help but feel empty all the time?

Everything you see is grey. Everything you feel is grey. When you think you’re happy, you can’t tell if you really are or if you’re forcing yourself to be. You feel “fine”, but what is “fine”? You don’t know the definition of happiness. You’re always tired, you always constantly feel like anything you do doesn’t amount to anything. You can’t seem to remember what it feels like to be happy for a long time. Everything you do is sluggish.

But you’re trying.

I read his suicide note, and I understood.

I was never angry at Jonghyun. 

Not once.

Because I know how it feels to fight your way through the darkness. I know how it feels to constantly keep trying to find things to fill the void in your heart that for some reason keeps growing the more you find. I know how it feels to fight the demons within you. I know how it feels to feel like you aren’t living up to expectations. 

Which is why I just want to say, like what everyone else is saying, “You did well.”

You did so well Jonghyun-oppa.

You must’ve been so tired. So, so tired. I’m tired too, everyday, I open my eyes and wonder if today is going to be another grey day or if its going to be blue, because my life doesn’t feel like it has any other colour. Any day you think you’re happy doesn’t last long, any day you feel like it has other colours disappear back into grey. 

I’m so glad you can rest now. I’m so glad you can just lay back and finally, the demons within you won’t bother you anymore. This isn’t a battle lost. This is a battle won, just not in the best of ways, because you can lay back in the heavens like a hero.

You did so well. Your music will forever be my inspiration, your songs will always flow through my ears all the way into my soul.

You did so well. The smiles you put into my face, into everyone’s faces, will never be forgotten.

You did so well.

You did so, so well.

Although I can never ever see you in person, you’ve imprinted yourself into the net and the world in a way that you can never be forgotten.

I love you, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you for being the best Bling Bling is Jonghyun.

Thank you so much.

Rest in Peace.

[swimmmusic]

Once upon a time, years ago, on an exceptionally cold December evening in New York City I had the pleasure of peeing in the stall adjacent to the singer of Bright Eyes, Mr. Conor Oberst. This will seem much more important by the end. Maybe. Once upon a time, not even a month ago I found myself in the consulting office of my bank, Wells Fargo. This particular Wells Fargo is inside of a grocery store in my neighborhood. This grocery store is called Smart & Final. There is a common consensus amongst my roommates about Smart & Final. This being that it sucks mega plums. I have no argument against this and further more I don’t believe their produce section could produce two plums to you know who/what/and/where with. Anyways, I frequent this store for three simple reasons. Proximity, necessity and laziness. If there is one thing I loathe more than grocery shopping it is laundry. One may be able to tell by the Fiat sized trash bag at the end of my bed filled with clothes waiting for their second chance. Not to worry ladies, I assure you what sounds like a lack of domestication is only the byproduct of the intense focus it takes for me to make that ‘1st million’. Forbes listers will all gripe over these hardships whilst cheers’ing their ‘El Presidentes’! Yes, I do realize that is a signature margarita at Chilis. I don’t care how many Bentley’s you’re waxing, those blue cups are just plain fun. I digress. Where were we? My first million? No. Laundry! No. Grocery shopping! Kind of. Once upon a time, just minutes before I sat inside that Wells Fargo office ready to discuss things (extremely) loosely related to my 1st million, I stood in front of the rotisserie chicken assortment. I dissected each with my eyes. One chicken had great color. A dark, crispy outside. Much too small in the breast though. One was bursting at the seams but lacked any of that crispy skin. Nothing kills the mood for me like an undercooked chicken. Finally I saw the perfect compromise between char and size. My eyes widened like two plums! I placed the chicken in my shopping cart, tenderly. Careful not to crush the Fish Sticks. Mindful not to smash the Beef & Bean Chimichangas. (aka my ‘chimis’, aka my ‘lil protein torpedoes’) I decided to pay a visit to the Wells Fargo office since it was a plum’s throw away from the roasted chicken stand. Rule #3 in Cookie’s Guide to Domestication… Either stay ‘in the know’ of your finances or stay in complete denial about your ‘lack of’ finances. Both are key to a positive disposition along the windy path to that first million. I waited for quite some time for the next available banker. Finally I checked. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to be annoying but I signed in like 15 minutes ago and my chicken is just sitting in the cart there getting cold.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My banker’s name was Oscar. And Oscar was asking me what I did for a living. “Oh I am just playing music right now.” “Oh cool, so are you in a band? What’s it called?” “Yup. It’s called Swim… with two m’s.” “Ah Swimm. Hmm. (apologetically) No I haven’t heard of you.” “Yea.. no that’s fine. We are nothing… really.” “So what do you do in the band?” “I sing and play guitar.” “Ohhhh singer! I knew you were the singer.” (Oscar smiled for a long time. His eyebrows were groomed impeccably.) “I had a friend who played guitar and sang. He was like AMAZING. He could have been famous for sure but I don’t know what happened. He lives around here. You two should like jam or something.” “Yes Oscar, we should make that happen. So, if I could just have that new card sent to my LA address then…” “So how much do you get paid when you play a show?” “Umm… well… it depends…” “Like when you do a tour, how much do you get paid each show?” At this point I felt like some of the polite small talk was becoming a bit intrusive. Not to mention I wouldn’t tell my Priest how little we were about to get paid on the upcoming tour. Smoke and mirrors baby! Fake it till you make it! Or at least until your bank account is made public knowledge. “Listen, Oscar, we are creepin on the come up. 2017 is gonna be our year and all that. Big things, man. Big things. Now I hate to rush you but I have a chicken in the cart out there that must be reaching some sort of bacteria ‘danger zone’.” (One impeccably groomed eyebrow lifts slowly) “Of course. Right away, sir. Just sign here and here and you can be on your way.” “Thanks… and hey, come out to The Troubadour if you don’t hate the music. That’s Swim… but with 2 M’s! K, bye.” At this point I was internally screaming all over the place. I nearly took my luke-warm chicken back to the stand but thought better of it. It could appear as though I was stealing the one I replaced it with. Alarms would sound. I’d be slammed down on the cashier’s conveyor belt. One clerk would yell, “Should we bag him up and take him out back for a good whoopin?!” The manager would turn to me and grimace, “Hell ya! Paper or plastic, muchacho?” Police would come and take me away. Oscar would come into the holding station as a material witness. “Oh yea, he had probable cause to steal that chicken, Officer. Trust me I just saw his bank account… if you could call it that!” Then the officer would ask me what I did for a living. Through a fat lip and bloody nose I would squeak, “I play in a band, sir.” “Oh is that right Sticky Fingers? What instrument do you play? Skin Flute?!? HAHA!” “Um, wow, Officer. Presumptuous much?” “You’re wearing a crop top and a dangly earring, son.” “Um… Have you not watched ‘Lost Boys’ lately? Kiefer Sutherland? Corey Haim? Hello? Plus we are in LA which makes 3 things undeniable… summer never ends, everyone is young forever and I def need a shirt that breathes.” The Officer just stares at me confused and asks, “So you’re in some sort of Vampire/Satanic worship band?” “No, sir. We play a blend of psychedelic pop fused with a bit of… well actually it is hard to define as we are known for ‘genre-hopping’. Not my favorite term but I get it. I mean I want our music to have a vibe but I also want to say something ya know? Of course I attribute it to an A.D.D. in our tastes and…” “Oh SHUT UP already!” the officer grunts. “What’s the name of your band anyway?” “Swim… (big sigh) with two M’s though.” “NEVER HEARD OF YA!” “Yea. No. You wouldn’t have.” “Any last words, Cookie? If that is your name?” “Well actually, if at all possible, in the report, the full name is Cookie Sugarhips. Which I realize isn’t helping my hetero-masculine cause here but as you can see with the crop, the hips literally don’t lie. Wouldn’t if they could. Oh and also when writing our band name, SWIMM, could you use all capital letters? It really jumps off the page when written like that and you’ll see the symmetry with the extra M is quite marvelous the way it….” “GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So… I didn’t return the chicken. But trust me there is a point to all this! I walked outside of Smart & Final. Defeated. Cursing many things that didn’t deserve it, including the chicken. I made my way to my car and started unloading the groceries into the trunk. Behind me were a couple of younger kids. One had a guitar and the other held a hat in his hand. I didn’t pay them much mind. Fury had occupied my mind. As I placed the warm milk jug into the car, careful not to smush the frozen pizza and mindful not to mash the Quesadilla Hot Pockets, the one teenager started playing a song that I recognized. Sure enough they both began singing “First Day of My Life” in a slight Mexican accent. This is my favorite Bright Eyes song and one of the best love songs ever written. Fact, not opinion. This song was the song that lifted my heart up to the ether when I first fell in love and tore it to bits all the same for years after. This song means the world to me. I walked slowly to the driver’s seat in disbelief and just sat there with the door open and listened to the whole song. My eyes watered. Possibly from the souring milk. I walked up to the guys and gave them a dollar and told them that was one of my favorite songs of all time. I wanted to hug them. I didn’t. They told me they play in a band called “The Rusty Pennies”. I told them I play in a band called Swim… with two M’s. Life is peculiar. You never really know what you’re waiting for. Once a few years back I was in a hellish long line waiting to use the bathroom at the Karen O musical “Stop the Virgens”. I thought I was going to pee myself from all the plastic cups of white wine. I grew perturbed, even panicked. But as luck would have it I ended up peeing in the stall next to Conor Oberst! Don’t worry I didn’t start singing the words of “First Day of My Life” to him. Almost certain I didn’t. I didn’t even thank him for writing one of the best loves songs ever. But hey, there he was, human just like me, with too much Chardonnay in the reserves. And sometimes that’s gotta be enough. I drove back from Smart & Final with no radio on, shaking my head in disbelief. I am thankful for these moments. Though few and far between, they find me. And each time, I feel like I “just woke up”. -Cookie All photos above taken by the lovely Linnea Rochelle Stephan from our first headline show at Troubadour with James Supercave. Final note from the author… Chimichanga is his favorite word. Just say it out loud. ‘CHIMICHANGA’. It is between that or ‘Hallelujah’ for the author. Both carry such weight… phonetically and literally. He felt as though you should know. K, bye.)

[celebritylive]

Adrienne Bailon Houghton is opening up about a sexual experience she had that resulted in a man breaking down in tears.

On Tuesday’s episode of The Real, the women (Adrienne, 35, Jeannie Mai, Tamera Mowry and Loni Love) were bonding over moments they’ve shared in which a guy has opened up after being intimate in bed.

“When a man is in bed with you and he’s happy and he’s satisfied, he opens up and you get to talk to him about things where he’s not trying so hard, he’s just being him,” Mai, 40, said.

That’s when Adrienne asked the group, “Anybody ever cried after?”

“Oh girl yes,” Love, 47, said while sipping a cup of tea.

“Look at God, I will say… I love that. That’s bomb,” Adrienne shared.

“Well, wait…” Mowry, 41, interjected, prompting the ladies to clarify that they meant “The guy cries after.”

“They’re just overwhelmed with how much they love you or how bomb you were,” Adrienne said before reenacting the incident.

“‘That was amazing,'” Adrienne said while pretending to cry.

Mowry then admitted she’s never experienced that with her husband Adam Housley.

“Now I’m like oh my God, I’m going to ask him, ‘Adam, come on, cry!” Mowry said.

Adrienne then asked the ladies if they’ve ever shed a tear during sex.

Mowry revealed she’s cried before, and Adrienne cheered, “Okay, I can’t be the only one!”

“Literally a tear just comes out of your eye,” Adrienne recalled. “It’s not emotional.”

Mai shared she’s never cried during sex so Adrienne told her, “I pray that upon your life, I really do.”

Adrienne is known for speaking candidly on the show about her relationships and her sometimes embarrassing experiences.

Back in January, Adrienne revealed that when she and her husband Israel Houghton first started dating, she had a few concerns — and in order to make sure he was committed, she would secretly record him.

“I’ve been doing this for years,” Adrienne said to her co-hosts.

“So there’s something called Voice Memo on your phone, and you can literally put it on Voice Memo, lock the phone, put it down, walk out the room, let y’all talk about me, walk back in, play it back outside the room, listen to what y’all said, walk back in and be like, ‘So Tam, you would say that sometimes I talk a lot?’” Adrienne explained.

RELATED: Adrienne Bailon Is ‘Madly in Love’ with Her ‘Parisian-Chic’ Bel-Air Home: Take a Tour

“And you’d be like, ‘Of course I would say that, you do talk a lot,’ right?” She added. “Or, you could lie to me and be like, ‘I would never say that about you, Adrienne,’ and I’d be like, ‘Bitch you lied!’“

Explaining how the method worked on her husband, Adrienne said, “In the car, I left my phone on Voice Memo, put it into the side thing in the car, walked out and went into a store.”

“I was like, let me see what phone calls he makes. Let me see if he talks to anybody on the phone. You’re just getting to know each other,” Adrienne continued.

Thankfully, when she came back to listen to the recording, she found nothing concerning.

RELATED: Adrienne Bailon Opens Up About Her Struggle to Get Pregnant: ‘It Can Be Really Discouraging’

“He was writing a worship song in the damn car,” Adrienne said. “He was like, ‘Lord, I love you! Jesus — Oh, hallelujah!’ And I was like, ‘Aw, there’s nothing here.’ “

Adrienne and Israel got married in Paris in 2016. “I genuinely just feel so blessed and grateful. I’ve honestly never been happier in my entire life,” Adrienne told PEOPLE of getting married. “I’ve never felt what I feel right now. I can’t even describe what it is, but it’s such a peace mixed with total excitement.” from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2JnQTaq

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 5 RECAP: “Hair Care, After-Rain, and Porn on the Bus”

Hello Folks,

My week this week started off pretty rocky (and painful), as I’m sure you’ve gathered from my previous post.. but overall I can’t really complain about how the rest of the week played out...

Wednesday: 

Today in class I got my first 100 percent on a quiz!!! Granted it was just a vocabulary quiz and not written dialogue sentences, but I’m still proud as hell. I also introduced my teacher to the movie Finding Nemo and how to “dab”. She’s so adorable and I just love her enthusiasm.

In the gym I ran a 8:53 mile… my body was hating me for skipping the past two days. I had a cramp in my left side the entire time I was running, so by the time I finished the mile I felt like I had done ab day instead of leg day…

After the gym we got caught in the pouring rain. Like raining cats and dogs.

This is common after a typhoon (the after-rain), but I was just salted that we got caught in it and that my socks were so dang wet. Every step made a squishing noise and my thin mesh Adidas weren’t made for that... The three of us went to lunch with one of our classmates, Mika, at that Italian place I had last week. Mika is from California... Cupertino I believe? And she’s super sweet and we’re always cracking up in class together. 

Above is a creeper picture Mika took with our teacher hehe.... I screenshotted it from a snapchat she sent me so DONT HATE ME MIKA

At lunch I ordered this spicy spaghetti with sausage dish... it was super good!! Although I found myself sweating while I was eating... but that could have been due to the fact that I was wet with rain and then sitting in a booth having lunch...

This was my desert    v     I can’t remember the name, but it was chocolate. I thought the consistency would be different when I ordered it, but it was more of like a pudding. I was pleasantly surprised ;)

After lunch we went to the stationary store and bought more school supplies that I really didn’t need. I bought more pens and a notebook, for the upcoming semester. Everything is so cute in that store and I could literally spend all day in there (it’s my favorite past time to be so honest....looking at stationary) lol. Lame, I know.

After that I came home, took a long shower, and a long long nap. I woke up about 9:15pm to a FaceTime call, and then decided to get up and be productive. I finished my homework fairly quickly, and for dinner Bunny and I got McDonald’s because the Gong guan night market was completely closed, I think due to the heavy rain today. I got a spicy chicken sandwich and it was 10x better than a hot n Spicy, and we ALL KNOW how much those SLAP!!! 

I knocked out after 2 am because my nap was a bit longer than it should’ve been... I think I was so tired because of how winded I was from the gym.

Oh Also!!! Today in the shower I did a co-wash, and after it dried I noticed that my hair has grown significantly while I’ve been here… so shout out to my ABLE Queen Sade: I’m going to drop some quick tips on my hair care routine: 

Usually I co-wash every week to week and a half. I only wash with shampoo maybe 1-2 a month (depending on what I’ve been doing...swimming, etc). I also oil/massage my scalp about three times a week. I am currently using small amounts of coconut oil on my scalp to massage, because this is the only oil I brought from the States and I don’t want my hair to be too too oily. But usually when I’m home, I switch it up between Moroccan/Argan Oil, Carrot Oil, Shea Oil, Coconut Oil etc. I also use a lot of leave-in conditioners and moisturizers in my hair. Right now I’m using the Aussie 3 minute moist deep conditioner as a leave-in and I love love LOVE this product. I love the Aussie Moist line in general and it’s pretty cost effective which is good. I also use the Cantu deep conditioning repair creme, as well as the Shea Moisture curl enhancing smoothie. Apart from all of that, I also try to stay consistent with braiding or twisting my hair up and keeping it stretched when I sleep. I didn’t bring my silk scarf with me to Taiwan (ugh) but I still sleep with like a bandana on or a regular scarf most nights. I drink a lot of water and the humidity does the rest! 

My burn on my arm is still a blistering, bubbling, sensitive, mess. I have to sleep on my right side so that I don’t get the burn creme all over my sheets. Woooo.

Thursday:

I woke up on time today, and pretty well rested… I think due to the fact that I took an extra long nap yesterday… anyway, I got to class on time, after eating a banana and pastry for breakfast. I really need to cut back on all the bread I eat but it’s just SO convenient. But I’m going to try to make a more consistent effort to not stuff my face with bread every morning. Wish me luck! Ya girl loves the bread.

We had a quiz today, again, and in class we talked about a bunch of different stuff, from Finding Nemo, to K-Pop stars, to this strange student our teacher had last semester, to screaming goats, etc... We also planned a date for all of us as a class, including the teacher, to go and get hot pot as like a class bonding/field trip type experience! I’m excited. I love our little class, we have a ball, and we’re definitely the loudest class in terms of hearing the laughter echo down the hallway. It’s always a good time. 

*NOTE: So the story about the strange girl I mentioned above is pretty interesting.... Our teacher was telling us how she had this student in her 8am class last semester (who still goes here) and she’s in her 30s. She comes to class every morning with a visor on, a hood on, huge sunglasses, and an ace-bandage type thing that she uses to wrap around her neck and face, up to her nose. Basically she’s a mummy and completely covered from the sun. She is Thai, and pale as hell. (But here in Asia, the paler and skinnier you are, the better!) Anyway, the weird part about the story is that she comes into class in the morning, with hella food. And she has two cellphones. One of them she uses as her normal phone, and the other, she props up on this type of “stand” and records herself. It seems like she’s on videochat or a FaceTime of sorts, but in reality, she records herself constantly, and it’s more of a stream. She doesn’t physically converse back and forth with anyone.  Our teacher and other students in my class (who have seen her around) think that she is one of those people who gets paid to constantly stream themselves so that creepy fetish people can watch them do their daily duties. Weird right?

Anyway let’s shift back...

By the end of the three hour period, my tiredness had hit me full force. I was dying to hear that bell ring at 1:10. After class we went to the gym, per usual, and it was back day / booty (floor) day for me. My butt was so sore I feel like I’m walking funny. But I know it’ll all be worth it and I’m already seeing improvements! Go me!!!

The gym on the Main Campus that we normally use will be closing at the end of this week. They’re hosting a huge event during the month of August, so tomorrow is our last day to use the facility. Bunny and I checked out the gym on our Gong guan campus, where our dorm is, and it’s definitely not as nice but it’ll do the job. There’s also no AC or treadmills though which sucks… but there’s a track, so I guess I have to get used to running that way, and not being able to really track my progress as easily. Bummer.

After the gym we went to eat at the potsticker place by our main campus. I ordered half curry and half vegetable pot stickies, and they’re bomb, per usual.

After we had lunch we went to the computer labs on campus to do our homework. Like peasants… I don’t have a laptop anymore, and Bunny’s laptop doesn’t have a disk drive, so the listening portion of our homework needs to be done at school now. But, it didn’t take as long as it usually does to get it done, because I was definitely more focused (because I wanted to get home).

We started on our journey home around 4-5pm. The bus was poppin!!! I think because it was later in the day... While on the bus, there was a man who was on his phone with his earphones in... pretty normal. But, he moved to stand next to me on the bus and I unintentionally looked at his phone screen and he was watching porn on the bus! HAHA. I immediately looked at Bunny and mouthed the word “PORN” and she starts cracking up. After he got off the bus, she told me how one of his earphones wasn’t in his ear, so she could hear the moans and stuff from the video. Wow. I want to say that I was completely surprised by this, (because of the fact that Asians in Asia are more private with their sexuality in general vs. Americans), but I guess a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

I got up around 9pm and we headed to the night market to eat around 10/10:30. We got these Vietnamese sandwiches at one of the vendor stands. They were 60 NT (around $2 US). I wanted to try the chicken sandwich but she had run out so I went for the spicy pork option instead. Very very tasty. It was basically like a hoagie, but the bread was a bit crunchier than I expected. And I also got some spring rolls, and they were huge, but I didn’t like them and didn’t even finish them. Definitely a disappointment. 

Also my bubbling/blistering burn has started to slightly deflate, but I think to make up for that, it’s started to spread more outward. Still looks disgusting. Still might scar. Still keeps me up at night.

Friday:

This morning I tried something new!!! I didn’t go to the bakery! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH!!! Making moves!!! But.... I still had bread. 

This morning I opted for an egg sandwich for breakfast and a milk tea... There’s a cafe in front of our main MTC building (where all our classes are held)... and I have never come here for breakfast but I’m definitely going to start after today... simply because they have alternatives to bread, and it’s CHEAPER.

Our class today went by SO quickly. I can’t even remember half the things we talked about, but our chapter is covering “Recycling” so I know that was the main topic of conversation. 

Taiwan is SUPER BIG on recycling here. It’s been hard to adjust. In our dorm, we don’t have recycling bins on our floor. The only recycling bins/main trash bins we have, is on the ground floor of the dorm. Bunny and I have a trashcan in our room, but we never separate our trash (by plastics, glass, paper, normal trash, and food trash/compost), because in all honesty, WHO HAS THE TIME? .... because of this, we just throw everything into our trash can and then when it gets to be too overfilled, we take our trashbag down to the main floor, and tie it up and set it gently down next to the recycling bins.... I know, we’re terrible human beings. But it would be easier if they put the bins on our same floor, because no one wants to go up and down four flights of stairs every time they need to throw something away... It’s unreasonable. And today after class there was a note on the main chalkboard saying something about the trash... But Bunny and I couldn’t read/understand all the words so we just shrugged it off hahaha. Again, I know, we’re terrible human beings... but maybe if the janitor lady wanted to get the message across to the foreigners (she knows we’re foreigners because literally everyone here recycles), then she would just to write it in English??... Just a thought...

Today was leg day at the gym. Again, today is our last day at the gym due to the gym being closed for the rest of the month for an event... and I didn’t want to run my mile but I did it anyway... came out at 8:55. By the skin of my teeth. It was tough. Bunny also left early from the gym to go home and get started on packing/checking into her flight online, because she’s going to Hong Kong for the weekend! How fun.

I met with Mika after the gym, and we met on the Shi Da night market by campus. I found her in the beauty shop, because she wanted to buy falsies (and quite frankly so did I), but the beauty shop had tons of other cool stuff too (eyelid tape, tons of face masks, all kinds of makeup (not a variety of skin tones though), etc.)...

While in the shop, I looked outside and it appeared as though I was going to get caught in the pouring rain for the second time this week. But, this time I didn’t bring an umbrella. UGH. So, I did the most logical thing I could think of: I stole an abandoned umbrella from outside the beauty shop... Here in Taiwan, most people bring an umbrella with them everywhere they go. To either hide from the rain, or shield from the sun (...wouldn’t want to get too dark huh Lady?)... But if it’s raining and then the rain stops, a lot of people leave/abandon their umbrellas outside of shops or convenient stores in the rack provided. They do this because umbrellas here are so cheap, no one wants to lug them around all day. So luckily for me, getting caught in the rain, there were about 10 umbrellas sitting in the rack outside the shop, just waiting to be picked up by Muah. I knew they were abandoned because Mika and I were the only people in the store, and the umbrellas were sitting there when I walked into the store (before it rained). SO BLESS UP. 

We went to the curry spot to eat a few stores down... then later hopped on the bus to head home. Mika lives by the Gong guan market, which is where Bunny and I frequently get dinner. But Mika usually takes the MRT to get to school everyday, which I told her is a bit more expensive than the bus, and the bus just as convenient. So I took her home with me on the bus so she could learn the ropes.

Bunny was gone when I got home, she had already left to head to the airport. I took a shower and was SO PLEASED and GRATEFUL that she left me her laptop to use while she was away for the weekend (in Hong Kong). I am now fully caught up on my shows (Power and Insecure), and I’m able to blog from home rather than go to campus and do all my blogging on Monday in the computer lab (campus is closed on the weekend). BUNNY IS THE BEST ROOMMATE EVER CAN WE PLEASE ALL FORM A PRAYER CIRCLE AND PRAISE GOD FOR HER EXISTENCE.

Around 9:30pm I emerged from my cave to get potstickers (to-go) and came right back home to relax a bit more and draft my blog posts. 

Also, Green Tea ice cream is easily one of my favorite flavors, and they have it in these little baby pint size containers that they sell at the convenient store. They are so so good. They are my guilty pleasure. That is all.

Around 11:30pm I crawled into bed while on Facetime with Lijah, (if you’re reading this, Hi!! I love you!!!) and got incredibly sleepy after that. I think it’s because I was laying down and I hadn’t had my nap today.... I knocked out just before midnight and woke up around 7:30am fully rested. I was going to go out to the bar last night but I’m so glad that I didn’t. Tomorrow (saturday) I have plans to spend the better part of the morning/afternoon enjoying the Emerald Hills of Maokong.  More on that to come!

xoxo

[keplersgap]

Here I sit in the very room where we first got together, and what do I feel? That's an honest question, what do I feel? A slight pang in my stomach, and a little sad, obviously, but why? Before we were lovers, we were friends. We were such good friends. You understood me in ways that I don't think I'll ever be able to understand myself. I miss sitting here with not my boyfriend, but with my friend. I miss your horrible, terrible jokes that literally made me want to claw my eyes out, but I had to enjoy because of how happy they made you. The cottage is no longer completely safe, it's uneasy. I know you feel that way too, you wouldn't leave your cottage when I was here. What would people say? How would they act with the both of us, especially since as of now, we didn't finish on good terms? I can be honest with the fact that you nearly wrecked me. I confronted you on a suicidal day, and you never responded. You most definitely saw it, and chose to let somebody believe that the world would in fact be better without them. Why? Because it was from your crazy ex girlfriend? I was not healed at that point, but you knew I had troubles further than you and you still chose to leave me there. This wouldn't be so terrible, as it is your right to make that choice, if you hadn't promised me you'd be there. Promised no matter what, you would answer the phone if I really needed you. You answered when my aunt died, thank you for that. But what about when I was at my worst? When I realized that the boy on my floor who never came back was in a car crash in a coma? Or as U dealt with the pain of loss and new experiences all together with my mental illness? I did give up hope at a certain point. Hope that the friend I started with was still there, and I still think that's the saddest day. I know one drunk night I told my friend why I was so hurt when she lied about something stupid, but I was blackout drunk puking in a toilet then, so I'm honestly glad I don't remember it. Why don't I trust people? Other than the fact that my mental illness is based on fear of abandonment and mistrust of others, you had lied to me so many times. Even when we were finished, you didn't have to lie to me. It didn't make it easier. It filled me with hope that shouldn't have been there. Improvements I have made to date: I can talk about you. I can talk about us and what we were, I can talk about how I was family and the things we did. I can talk about you in a positive light, as you do deserve to be talked about; you're not an evil person. Things I can't do: listen to hallelujah completely, watch shrek. I'm happy that's the end of my limitations now. I do not miss our relationship. I miss the attention that I was given, but I know that for now, I can't be in a relationship with anybody. Although I miss the feeling of love, I have too many of my own issues to take on somebody else. I cannot drag them into this mess, not for another little bit. I do miss my friend though, so much. As I sit here I want someone to play video games with or to laugh about stupid shit and memes. I really don't know if we'll be friends again someday. I think that I will be able to, but I'll never know about you. I had messaged you so much after you left me that I don't think I'll be able to approach you again. I was left filled with fear. P.S. if you ever see this I really want my Outsiders book back, it's my favourite book and I can't find it in any stores. I'll trade you it for your bow tie? Thanks very much, Dis Bitch