#half of the mfers on this site

[sundew199]

Bluecollar!Reiner Headcanons

a/n: most of these are just silly but I wanted to share my vision 😌 I did this in like 20 minutes but idc

tags: reiner x reader, no p/ns used, SFW headcanons

(realistic blue-collar headcanons lmfao)

being with Reiner if he's a blue collar worker has got to be the most entertaining thing tbh. This mfer would send you videos from the job site on how to weld pipes together of fasten drain valves like you're going to be on the job tomorrow. But it's cute so you'd save all the videos.

He'll ask you to pack his lunch but forget to bring the cooler in for a week so he ends up ruining some of your good Tupperware and bashfully smiling with a "sorry ☺️" and then he'll magically come home with a new lunch box because he lost one of his 500 that he already has. So now your house is just random coolers scattered everywhere in the garage that serve as his lunch box.

And my god he'd never clean out his pockets either, you'll open the dryer or washing machine and find drill bits, wrenches and various screws and he'll just come up behind you and go "oh I was looking for that."

AND HIS JEANS, OH MY GOD HIS JEANS!! They would be stained with tar, cement or silica dust and other stains that will not come out. Along with random holes or tears, half of his jean he'll rip right down the middle and you'll just question how the fuck he managed to that at work. You two are going jean shopping more than you're going boot shopping.

He'll also talk to you about how to do certain things at work like you know what he's talking about, so you just nod and occasionally ask questions instead of trying to figure out what NP1 is and how trench drains work.

He'll also be buying a new pair of boots every six months because no matter how good the boot is, it's just going to get torn up and he'll hand you the steel toe from said boot when he walks in the door with a casual "fell out when I was getting out of the truck."

Jesus Christ and his work truck scares you, because how did someone accumulate so many energy drink cans??? And why are there three tool bags in the back seat when he's already got two in the garage, he just accumulates tools like a magnet, you never have to look far for a screwdriver, ever.

But Reiner will fix anything you ask him to for the fair price of a kiss or his favorite dinner. Sink is leaking? Go grab his channellocks. Wanna hang something on the wall? throw him his tool bag and close the door so you won't have to hear the array of curse words that follow when he can't find the stud.

Along with fixing anything you want, he'll buy you anything you want or he just won't notice when his credit or debt card is missing from his wallet and you said you'd be right back, it's not like he can't afford it. His wallet looks like it survived three world wars and you get him a new one every year for Christmas, becoming a sort of tradition, and you just marvel at how he's able to do that to two flaps of leather in a year.

Hats. He's got so many hats it's a problem. They'll be everywhere. And sometimes the company he works for gives branded hats throughout the year and you're begging him to stop accepting them because he doesn't need anymore hats 😭

Depending on what part of the job site he's working on or what he's doing, he'll sometimes send you a picture of your name or initials written on a pipe or something close to it, leaving his mark at each job site he's at, because he's cliche like that.

Always has a pocket knife on him at all times, never knowing when you or him might need it and he likes to be prepared.

He'll "beg" for back massages at the end of the day and proceed to pass out 2 seconds later and snore like a freight train. and then proceed to NOT wake up to his ten alarms that go off at 4am, causing you to basically body slam him to get him up and out of bed or else he'll be late.

Reiner would be muscular but not the gym rat muscular. He's got the gripe strength of a god and his forearms are corded and firm, his biceps solid as a rock since he's lifting things over his head all day and/or holding them up. Same thing with his calves and thighs, looks like an Olympian with the way they subtly flex when he walks. But his stomach would be soft, having just the tiniest but of tummy but maintaining the defined pecs and broad shoulders.

If he gets hurt at work, he won't tell you (unless its major), you'll just discover a new scratch or bruise and ask what happened and stare in horror at how he got that from what he did and how it wasn't worse that what it is. And if he gets hurt kinda bad, he'll send you a picture of his wound wrapped in duct tape with a simple "ouch" and then not answer you until hours later as you text him what happened lmao.

Reiner will also casually tell you about work drama. Like how his foreman is fighting with his wife or how someone eles's wife showed up at the same time their secret girlfriend did while bringing them lunch, but no further details, so he leaves you hanging until he gets new information six months later when you've already forgotten about it.

Ohhh and he'll brag about you on the job site too, especially to his single coworkers and tell everyone how good of a spouse you are and how he's so spoiled (he is), and smile in satisfaction at everyone asking how he managed to get so lucky, because he is indeed, very lucky.

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

Who are the ballad brothers I have seen you tag them on a variety of posts and I am intrigued

THREE MONTHS LATE BUT HERE WE GO!!! I also did a post about this ages ago which I’ll link HERE but! There’s been a lot of development since then!!!

This is going to get long. Sorry in advance. (Also I’m keeping it to just the Ballad Brothers themselves (and co) but lmk if you also want to know about the saints! They’re not at all relevant to the main plot (two and a half exceptions) but they live rent free in my head)

TLDR. Little guys took up residence in my head when I listened to music in the car and it’s become a whole scifantasy worldbuilding exercise.

Anyway!

KYRIE ALEIDIS BALLAD

- she/her

- 29 years old

- 5’11 (and a half)

- Massive Fucking Tech Sword

- Enneagram 8w7 if you’re an enneagram guy

- she is YOUNG she’s FANTASTIC she’s GOD’S FAVORITE and she’s NEVER GOING TO DIE

- The main character!

- She is the city (symbolic) and her name is god

- Former sword-for-hire/star player/golden girl/mascot/diversity hire (whatever you want to call it) for evil organization(tm) Rekah’s Finest

- (named after St Rekah of the Guard)(think somewhere between the CIA and the Pinkertons)(National guard type of thing that staged a very quiet coup/government takeover about a decade before Kyrie was born and is gradually got to the point where they’re running the city-state where this all takes place as a police state)

- current renegade and aspiring vigilante

- she fucked off the minute she turned 18 to join the metaphorical army/become a cop (same difference)(except there’s also regular cops and they kind of suck shit) and very quickly became very good at it!

- wound up as essentially the Special Little Guy they have as the face of the organization doing a lot of like. Public outreach and shit. Also doing a lot of assassinations inside and outside of the city

- A few years before the story starts she Realized Some Things about how her and Alonzo were orphaned and quit her job EXTREMELY publicly and extremely dramatically and left with nothing but her Massive Fucking Tech Sword and the clothes on her back and fucked off to go hide/live in a massive tower monument at the center of town

- It’s… legally difficult to get her out of there due to the historical site preservation regulations so she’s just been kind of vibing there ever since

- Theoretically. She’s trying to take down the RF and get them Out Of Her Damn City

- In practice she’s one singular burnout and has no idea how the hell to go about doing that so she’s mostly just hanging out in the tower and evading arrest

- She’s a fuck boy dirt bag piece of shit (etc etc etc) and I love her for it

- She gets no bitches despite being a local celebrity with one of The Fanbases Ever (she would do numbers on scifantasy Twitter) bc She’s So Sucks <3

- (no bitches except she does have a weird homoerotic thing going w her roommate/childhood best friend who’s kind of a reincarnation of St Ely who built the city and lives in the tower)(she’s not looking at it)(she’s got bigger problems called Avoiding Confronting Any Emotion bc if she looks at any of them she’ll have to process all of the Guilt she has irt. Pretty much abandoning her baby brother on the streets to go be a hero and then Never Contacting Him Again)

ALONZO BALLAD

- he/him

- 25

- 5’4

- two regular guns

- Kyrie’s aforementioned baby brother!

- Enneagram 3w4 which if you were friends w me 2019-2021 you’ll know exactly how much that says everything you need to know about this guy (derogatory)

- Most repressed mfer on the planet and a neurotic little freak

- Considers himself to be the only guy in this found family with a braincell. (Untrue, even if you don’t count An)

- His first instinct in a lot of situations is Improv Theater. (Seeing his sister for the first time in more than ten years? Better wear a hood and prepare a whole dramatic reveal about it. Ran into the guy he kissed at the office holiday party while trying to get his expense account wrangled for an upcoming assignment? Time to launch into an extended bit about how he’s so sad and poor and he’s gonna starve and freeze to death all alone on the street and Only They have the power to help him. please.)(they think it’s hilarious but jfc what’s wrong with him)

- The main issue with him is that he gets his apartment and all of his necessities directly from his employer, so his first priority at all times is Preserve His Job At All Costs

- He thinks of the way he lives as self care. I think of it as masochism.

- His main idea of a Life Plan from the ages of 15-his early 20s was Look At What His Older Sister Did And Then Do It Too

- (his main idea of a life plan from the ages of 3-20 was Don’t Get In Trouble Ever or They Will Come And Kill You To Death)(these are not especially compatible philosophies.)

- So he’s a sword-for-hire (gun for hire. And not even a fancy tech one. They’re not trusting any more Ballad brothers with any more expensive technology.)

- This is not working out well for him. he’s not overwhelmingly good at the job. He doesn’t find any purpose in killing people. He doesn’t even like blood.

- He is, however, very good at following orders. But only when he wants to.

- He’s also very good at Lying To His Boss’s Boss

- They keep sending him to try and assassinate Kyrie as like. Kind of a power move? Trying to show her that they’ve got her only family at their beck and call and they can make him do whatever they want

- Unfortunately Alonzo has no interest in killing her so those missions pretty much just wind up with him going to hang out in the tower and shoot shit for a couple days and then going back and turning on the big sad wet eyes for his report to tell them that he did his best he really did but she’s always been stronger and he just couldn’t take her— but he’ll do better next time he promises 🥺🥺🥺

- Kyrie had been their best guy for several years and Alonzo is, in all other regards, the perfect employee (turns in all his paperwork ahead of time, does every other mission very efficiently and never gets caught, goes to all the company mixers even though everyone can tell he’s exhausted, always has his uniform meticulously clean and pressed) so this is plausible, and they go “aww okay better luck next time :) go get some rest :)”

- Also he’s lowkey a hostage here. What are they gonna do? Fire him? No they need him for leverage

- It drives his immediate supervisor who knows EXACTLY what’s going on up the fucking wall. We will get to them.

- Gets Fucking Shot With A Cheater Bullet (very small timed action grenade) on an assignment midway through the story and his first instinct (instead of going back to the office where they have like. Actual doctors and medical equipment to deal with that) is to head to St Ely’s tower, where they have his sister and his kind of boyfriend and also his sister’s roommate who can sew and his childhood buddy Jonesie down the street who knows first aid

- He’s not thinking especially straight due to the Panic and also the Blood Loss from the Bullet In His Ribcage and he’s got a whole emotional thing about how he wants to die at home w his people— and then it goes off and he Fucking Dies. Whoops!

- He gets better his boyfriend (for real now lmao) is an aspiring necromancer and God’s Pet Freak (there’s a lot. Behind that. more later) and he very pointedly doesn’t believe in magic or saints or anything but also his chest cavity did very much get exploded and he’s fine now (besides the lingering Effects) so like.

- He deals with this by 1. Contacting his supervisor who lets the higher ups know there’s been An Incident. 2. Going back to work as soon as they’ll let him (like three days later). and 3. Getting himself transferred to the security division and becoming Ari’s dad’s bodyguard so he doesn’t have an excuse to go hang out at the tower anymore and he doesn’t have to look at any of those emotions he can just Focus on his Work <3

- Obviously that does not go well for him.

SENECA “ARI” FINCH

- they/them/any

- 25

- 5’2

- Enneagram 5w6

- Mad scientist

- Nepo baby

- Front desk intern for the RF financial department

- Aspiring necromancer

- God’s Pet Freak

- If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you raise a child in one of those beige instagrammable influencer houses. It’s this.

- Their dad is the puppet city governor for the RF (Kyrie wants him dead so goddamn bad)(he’s kind of a useless twink but he’s an easy guy to blame for all this shit)

- Their mom died when they were like 8 of something pretty regular and they have since dedicated pretty much their entire life to Bringing Her Back

- (No they were not especially close or anything why do you ask?)

- TECHNICALLY their dad, knowing their passion for Science (and not much else about them) got them a cushy RF job developing biotech to make the cool individualized tech weapons

- In practice, they got their funding and their fancy work lab and immediately proceeded to squirrel just about everything useful from it downstairs to their own personal lab in the basement (not on the floor plan) where they don’t have to worry about things like “supervision” “safety regulations” “proper ventilation” “their job” etc

- They are still doing their job but they’re getting it done in like. Two days out of the month and spending literally all the rest of their time on the necromancy

- It’s gotten to the point where they’re not even clocking in upstairs anymore so they made them take a couple shifts a week at the front desk of the financial department just so they have something on record to pay them for

- They’re okay with this! it’s fun to switch it up and there’s snacks in the breakroom

- I cannot emphasize enough how much they Do Not Leave the horrifying unventilated unethical science basement. there’s a couch in the corner and a sink and an employee bathroom in the stairwell what more could they need.

- One of the early plotlines is centered around Getting Them To Go Outside (really outside, not just to the regular parts of the RF building) and like. Idk. Maybe seeing a leaf or smth would be good for them)

- where they also wind up meeting and hanging out w Kyrie and El, doing some upkeep on Kyrie’s fancy sword, and being Absolutely Fascinated by St Ely’s Tower (there’s some generally buried Magic Shit that perks up when them and El are in the room together)

- BECAUSE!!! (And this is why they haven’t succumbed to the Fumes in the horrifying unventilated unethical science basement, or the gas leak in there from the pipe main running through the middle of it that they’ve been siphoning off of, or any of the experiments they do on themself bc they can’t get any other test subjects and also bc they wouldn’t trust anyone else’s testimony as to What It’s Like) the magic, which is how Ely built the city (and how all of the other saints Did Their Things as well but that’s a whole other can of worms) is a vapor that lives underground and speaks no human language but saw this little freak trying to defy the laws of nature from their hole in the ground and took a liking to them

- It can’t bring their mom back bc she’s been dead for fifteen years and it never met her so it wouldn’t even know where to start

- But it likes them! It follows them around and keeps them alive and helps with their experiments :)

- (they remind it of Saint Ely, who was a similarly tiny passionate freak, but that’s also a whole other can of worms)

- Ari is not aware of this in the slightest.

- Their second arc is getting Disappeared from legal existence (very easy. They live in a basement and barely ever leave it and don’t really talk to people), realizing that they are in fact mortal and could potentially die someday, and trying to contact their dad to make sure he knows they’re okay. (Doesn’t work. They’ve been disappeared and are no longer allowed past the front desk.)

- Their third arc (during the communal breakdown era. Kyrie’s abandoned by god arc where she decides to run away from her problems in a literal sense and Alonzo’s evil arc where stops speaking to everybody and dives headfirst into his job at the war crimes factory) is deciding that the same thing happened to their mom and the necromancy isn’t working because she’s NOT actually dead which means she’s out there somewhere and they can find her! :)

- That is not even a little bit true. :(

EL (no last name)

- he/him (woman)

- Doesn’t really have an age. They don’t really exist in time in the usual sense

- 5’0

- Enneagram 9w1

- Lives in the tower

- Just kind of showed up there one day as a kid and has been living there ever since

- There’s a nearby convent of some kind that fed and clothed them growing up (same place that looked after Kyrie and Alonzo after they were orphaned)

- Kind of a reincarnation of Saint Ely. not in so many steps bc again. Out of time and who knows how long he’s been there but like. He’s back for more but he’s a lady with an ounce of common sense this time. It’s unclear how much he’s aware of this part of it. He knows the tower is important, and he knows restoring the murals inside of it is important. I don’t think he knows why.

- only guy in this found family who’s even remotely capable of coping with the idea of death (he already did that)(kind of psychopomp coded about it)

- Kyrie’s best friend and second in command so much as she has a command. Weird homoerotic gay thing going on there. I assume there’s some of the traditional St Ely brand of devotion but like

- (And by traditional I mean I don’t think that’s a widely known thing about Ely the Saint but it is one of the more prominent things about Ely the Guy)

- Spends most of his time restoring the tower and the murals inside that nobody has seen in years

- (That’s a whole thing)(different can of worms)

- This is @nosongunsung11’s guy so I’ll tap them in for the details but I think that’s the basics!!

AN “PUNK” JANG

- they/them (lesbian)(in gender moreso than practice)

- 35 but they’re lying about it. actually 33

- 5’5

- Enneagram 1w2 😬

- Twin fancy tech rapiers

- The previous Special Little Guy/Mascot/face of the RF

- Ran away from home, changed their name, and lied about their age to join up when they were 16 and they’ve just kind of been going off that ever since

- Went by Punk for a while towards the beginning of their career bc they were 16/17 and it Sounded Cool and it would up becoming almost like their callsign (that’s what Alonzo calls them bc he was very much an enjoyer when he was a kid. They were like Spider-Man to him. Blorbo from the news.)(and he continues to call them that bc he’s a little shit.)

- (They wound up naming themselves after Saint Anjane of Strength not because they believe in any saints but because they desperately wish they did and this way at least they can pretend they know what it might feel like to have that kind of faith.)(in a fun and funky coincidence, they’re actually very very similar to Saint Anjane herself. El has some Complicated Emotions about this.)(long story. It’s Saint Ely’s Monument but it’s also the closest thing he has to a grave— he pulled it out of the ground so he could be alone w/ Anje’s body after he got to her execution too late to talk her out of it)

- Got shunted when Kyrie showed up and was infinitely more personable due to her heroics in SciFantasy 9/11 (long story. Building exploded.) and general bright-eyed and bushy tailed unjaded Disposition

- And by shunted I mean promoted to middle management in the Murder Department

- They’re fine with this it’s significantly less work on their end

- They do make sure after that to have everything they need for basic living separated from the job though

- Only guy in this found family with their own actual apartment. And basic cooking skills. And healthy sleep schedule.

- When Alonzo gets into the Murder Department they wind up as his immediate supervisor!

- Exciting prospect at first! He’s a high profile assignment (hostage) and also an easy assignment (does all of his paperwork on time, completes his missions Quietly and Efficiently, doesn’t really do anything interesting at all)

- Less exciting prospect once they actually work with him. He’s a little shit and a motherfucker and he knows exactly what he’s doing

- They can’t stop covering for him at this point without doing a hell of a lot of paperwork and jeopardizing their own job so they’re stuck now

- Also. unfortunately. they got attached. They’re not the step-older sibling, they’re the older sibling who stepped up.

- They’re the one who arrests Kyrie at the beginning of the story and kick off the whole first half of the plot, but they also wind up putting in their two weeks after Alonzo Gets Fucking Killed and then immediately goes back to work

- They do it significantly better than Kyrie tho they keep their apartment and their bank account and return most of their uniforms so the rf doesn’t have any reason to come after them besides Aiding and Abetting (and also trespassing. On the protected historical site that is St Ely’s monument. But that’s the least of anyone’s worries here.)

- They wind up kind of taking charge of the. whatever the hell these guys are doing. during the Communal Breakdowns arc. they would really prefer not to be doing this but somebody has to. So.

- Also during that arc they wind up facing off with Alonzo and boy howdy is there a reason they got assigned as the rf’s Special Little Guy and he didn’t, bc he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell even with them holding back

AND THAT’S THE MAIN CAST! Thank you for coming to my ted talk! (Get it?) I’ve hit the image limit on mobile so I’ll come back and add the before/after pictures in a reblog bc I had fun making those

[cloverjazz]

half the mfers on this site think inventing the wheel is just a hole in a round stone. that’s nothing! gotta put ball bearings in the bitch! shit won’t roll crap !

[pollonetr-igthe]

okay here we go, now that my dash is calming down, i had time to collect my emotions.

to be honest, i watched the race only until VSC was deployed after gio's DNF (YUKI WAS P3 THEN), because i had literally hard time breathing (did i get nervous - overthinking about this race? probably). so before i'm gonna faint for real i close my phone and lying on bed.

felt like the race is ending i open this site and all the congratulations for maxy (and curses for FIA, as always lol) already flowing. i got teary eyed, he's not my favorite driver but i did support him for WDC. and that mfer actually DID IT over 5 years in F1 🧡💙❤

continue on YUKI FUCKING TSUNODA GETTING THAT P FUCKING 4. holy shit this weekend he's on fire! my lord i can not wait for his craft to shine more next season 💙💙 and his bro pierre got P5, so best result for AlphaTauri (now i'm crying again dammit)

Honda no minna, arigatou. thank you so much for your support and hard-work in F1, for RBR and AT this year, 頭上げないです、感謝申し上げます。

carlos did get that podium T_T my versainz heart is clenching hard. i'm so so proud of what they've achieved (and now i'm thinking about their dad's legacy in this sport T^T).

also heartbroken for the mclaren boys. as lando said, second half ferrari did get faster than them, it's not like the team did wrong, so hopefully next year they gonna be better🧡

2021 season had so much drama, hard race, hate regards but also it gave us a fight that will go down in history, the comradery and bromances beyond our expectation

thank you f1, until next season

[penipso]

I PUT TOGETHER AN ED MOTTA PLAYLIST!!!

hi.

everyone probably knows this by now, but i’m completely engrossed in ed motta’s entire discography. who is ed motta? he is a brazillian musician who, to generalize, specializes mostly in soul, funk, and jazz (fusion). he is the nephew of arguably the biggest, most (in)famous brazillian soul musician who ever lived and died: tim maia.

he also did the brazillian adaptation of the soundtrack for disney’s tarzan. a task he was definitely up to doing, which, i think speaks to his expertise.

there’s a lot i want to say about ed’s music. i’ll save that for another time, but if it means anything, steely dan is one of his #1 influences and it really shows. though his roots lie in those aforementioned subgenres, he’s fairly adventurous and isn’t afraid to fuse their intricacies and trappings with some of the musical trends of the decade.

i really do think that there’s something in his discography to like for most everyone who “likes music”. below is a pastebin link with short, respective blurbs about the “feel” of a song, the name, the album in which it appears, a link to a youtube upload of the song, and sometimes, a short note.

https://pastebin.com/4tZb5hj9

just in case the pastebin link expires (this entire site might just expire before some pastebin links do), here it is in its entirety under the cut

(sorry mobile users!!!)

ULTIMATE ED MOTTA PLAYLIST!!!!!

(note: idk how right i am about the genres of some of these)

BONUS: ONE ENTIRE HOUR AND A HALF OF ED MOTTA:

Name: Ed Motta em DVD (Ao Vivo)

Album: Ed Motta em DVD (Ao Vivo) (2007)

Link: https://youtu.be/-zKQUea2flo

Note: put this on in da background if you want to get a good idea of what this mfers music is like

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SONG:

Name: Entre e Ouca

Album:  Entre e Ouca (1992)

Link: https://youtu.be/wHb9jtZq8GQ

sexy slow song:

Name: Minha Casa, Minha Cama, Minha Mesa

Album: Poptical (2003)

Link: https://youtu.be/ddFDjDgDhMY

'80s groove:

Name: Ja!

Album: Um Contrato com Deus (1990)

Link: https://youtu.be/PAzcWPhJHSI

Note: they didn't quite leave da '80s behind in the early '90s yet. grouping stylistic and musical trends by decade is arbitrary anyway.

adult contemporary:

Name: Samurai

Album: Djavan Songbook Vol. 1 (1997)

Link: https://youtu.be/jGufl0-h1WM

Note: this is actually a reharmonization/arrangement of a song called "Samurai" by Djavan (another popular Brazillian musician) originally released in 1982

smoky loungy jazzy:

Name: Guezagui

Album: Aystelum (2005)

Link: https://youtu.be/p7gd8p95rao

Note: this sounds like smth Shoji Meguro would make for Shin Megami Tensei

neo-bop?:

Name: Amalgasantos

Album: Dwitza (2002)

Link: https://youtu.be/yuSZBo0DRNY

Note: this song and "Um Dom pra Salvador" off the same album are very similar in feel

steely dan type beat:

Name: Smile (Live, Busseto, Italy)

Album: AOR (2013)

Link: https://youtu.be/LCJXbtrbHg4

Note: this starts out with some chords the exact same way Deacon Blues does. the influence is undeniable. also i gave u the live version cuz the piano solo rips FUCKING ASS IT'S SO GOOD

mid-'90s spacejam shit:

Name: Birinaite

Album: Manual Pratico para Festas Bailes e Afins Vol. 1 (1997)

Link: https://youtu.be/KRGEoLXhsdY

uplifting major key dance tune:

Name: Colombina

Album: As Segundas Intencoes (2000)

Link: https://youtu.be/7yI_CEvof0w

Note: the music video for this is cute as fuck

steely dan if they did a noir soundtrack and had a brazillian dude sing on it:

Name: The Tiki's Broken There

Album: Criterion of the Senses (2018)

Link: https://youtu.be/0kLOV39fHBE

y2k funk:

Name: Tem Espaco na Van

Album: Poptical (2003)

Link: https://youtu.be/uWi36sMebsc

[otp-bumbleby]

RWBY Volume 5, Chapter 14 'Haven's Fate' rapid-fire thoughts (warning, spoilers)

Here we go y'all

The site didn't crash!!

Go you good Faunus go! Go Ilia! Find yourself a new gf

Ugh this fucking horned asshole

I'M HERE FOR HAVEN NOT YOU WRITE IT ON MY TOMBSTONE MFERS

The friend/classmate motif is strong with Sun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH WRITE IT ALSO ON MY TOMBSTONE

Adam is a lowly coward bros

You guys are standing too close together

Honestly I was fucking tripping for a moment there I was like surely not these two...

Crisis averted!

FUCKING BLAKE'S HERE TO KICK ASS

Are you hurt?!!! NOT ANYMORE??

This isn't A TEAM REUNION EXCUSE ME

getting real sick of this yelling aggro dude

Checkmate BISH

I FUCKING CALLED IT RAVEN REPEATED THE LINE

HOW'D YOU GET THE POWERS BITCH IT FUCKING MATTERS

Raven killed the spring maiden!!! Of course

I don't know because you fucking left idiot

DON'T YOU DO IT

STRENGTH YANG IS STRENGTH

The RUNNING MOTIF IS STRONG HERE HGNGNGNG

Yang has a point y'know...

Wow I'm honestly surprised. WOW SHE LEFT. I thought she was gonna slice and dice...my prediction was debunked but that's okay Yang is a strong motherfucker I love her

MAKE HISTORY, BABY. FIRST NON-MAIDEN TO SNATCH THAT RELIC

No why are you crying no pls

It's like half over ARGRHRHG

Leo fuck you tho. See ya later, cunt!! The lion becomes the pussy *finger guns*

BYE BITCH *squelch squelch*

It's over...HERE COMES MY GIIIIRL

BLAKE'S LIKE THAT'S MY WIFE EVERYONE

THAT LOOK LEMME REWIND Y'ALL. Eye CONTACT

Sorry Emerald your mom's gone

WHOA WTF

THAT WAS NUTS

They're gone...Oz is like, btw Salem's that ugly lol

MEET MY PARENTS, GUYS. They're alive jsyk

Ilia look at this little flower being a good girl

FUCK THE WHITE FANG NEW CULT YO

YES Sun thank u for the encouragement

P.S. Where did Cinder's power go if she ded

IT'S A LOOOONG STORY

"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE"

I'M SOOOOBBINGGNGNGNG AHHH

We're going to have to wait a year for RWBY/BY chats aren't we

WE'RE GOING TO ATLAS, EVERYONE

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WAIT *ALMOST*A YEAR FOR MORE.

Watching the credits because APPRECIATE THE CRWBY

Post credits: RAVEN WAS WATCHING TAI GARDEN AND HE KNEW IT

[tonguethulhu]

"The reason things are bad is because you didn't vote ):" Is the same logic as "California is in a drought because too many people wash their car ):" It casually deflects blame away from big corporations, religious fanatics, and the people "voted" into power, towards regular people. It's another highroad for people who refuse to admit that the world has always been fueled by violence. Half of this site acts as though not picking a side is worse than the other side. This perpetual system is the thing that is broken, it was designed broken, the people who made it said "this isn't a permanent solution" and told people to revolt and fix it later. They didn't say "vote to make change happen" Mfers literally said you need guns to overthrow the government to demand your rights. and they were RIGHT

Democracy is great because it lets you argue with nazis for basic human rights, and sometimes you lose because not enough people voted ):

[prorevenge]

I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...

I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.

SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?

WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn't do justice.

So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi's the owner's dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept...this is important later. The owners son was a late 30's early 40's man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved...while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a "this is the way it is" type attitude. My fave line of his, "The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new" Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.

I had been at said job for about two and a half years, while there I had gotten engaged about 6 month earlier. Due to the awesomeness of my staff I invited about 10 employees to my wedding(it was going to be big due to the wife's family and mine's tiny so..) including the owner his son and the previous manager. I should have felt the ripples in the water when I had planned the trip to propose. The day before I go the owner comes in to do something with a big job and I tell him of my vacation plans as he is looking at the schedule. After I tell him of the somewhat expensive accommodations (I was proposing to my then gf), he literally says, "that's a great idea I haven't been there in years, I think I'll go tomorrow too!" I think he is joking, but he immediately tells his son who was taking over my work that he needs to take over for him and be a presence at the job site. Then tries to demand I clear a day out of my booked vacation schedule for us to meet up with him so he can take us out to some expensive place or some crap. On that one day during the trip he ended up no call no show-ing after we invited him to meet and hang with our family. We spent about an hour trying to call/message/email the guy and he never responded the entire trip. I get back he starts cracking lame jokes about how I ditched him to get engaged...that really pissed me off.

It gets better. Over the course of the next few months strange shit starts happening. I am forced to let go of a few of my techs for BS reasons like the 3 strike rule of attendance randomly being enforced without writ-ups or even verbal warnings. One guy had a 3 month old kid with his GF and I had to let the guy go because of a 3rd lateness of over 5 min from almost 90 days earlier and the previous two being almost 2 years old with the notes of in-climate weather and no routes that day (they also denied him unemployment and tried to enforce a 90 day no compete clause that would have stopped him form getting a job w the competition). Then I get a high priority job of going through back logs of unpaid services and start trying to preform collections with me receiving a % of what I collect(that I was never paid). Over the next month or two I keep getting odd things thrown at me to make money which don't have much to do with my regular job. Till one week where the entire office gets the flu. The owners son, previous manager(now just an officer worker), my assistant and about half the techs call out over the course of the week. I still come in with a 102 fever and goddamn doctors note in case I need to bail, just to get everyone set up and do as much as I can before almost passing out 3 days in a row. I get the entire day's work done by 1pm and leave all with the boss's son's approval. He was thrilled things were still working while the plague rampaged on. But not the owner apparently. I got pulled into the office and yelled at about not taking initiative and calling out all these days...he sounds like he is about to fire me before he asks me if I have anything to say for my self. So I correct him and he looks really shaken and then tells me some BS about the EPA stepping in and making us reduce the number of services we are allowed to do from quarterly (4x a yr) to a trimester schedule (3x) all while paying the same price. Guess who got to call almost every paying customer and try to get them to swallow that? ::raises hand::. So I take care of that over another two weeks and once again get called in to the office. Saying we cannot have this anymore and the EPA is crashing down hard on us and I just keep giving out too many services because the EPA really said we are not allowed to treat more than 2x a year and they lied to me throwing me under the bus(turns out that was a lie too they were trying to get up to stop treatments all together). Knowing I never had the power to authorize a single extra service without consent from the owners. So they had to let me go...only 4 month before I was going to get married. It got a bit intense as emotions ran high, the asshole of a son tells, "My dad told me to fire you a while ago for attendance but I knew you were getting married and I didn't want to mess that up so I played the long game for you man...." In an office with no strict punch schedule for the office workers as we were salary and constantly did things like get food for the office or have to run errands for the business and get stock from another location. Along w/ the EPA bullshit he tells me he just couldn't have a dept with two other managers in it who made less than I do doing the same job. They also tried to block my unemployment with falsified paperwork, claiming unsatisfactory attendance. Tons of bullshit and I never got a strait answer as to why I was let go till I did some investigating. Turns out the old manager who was just an office hand was being put back in the spot she was fired form because she offered to take a 33% pay cut form her old salary and the son just didn't want the extra work.....So they tried to scapegoat me for EPA violations and tried to tell the rest of the office my fuckups were the reason people were let go and the department was going to close.

So now that you've read all that you may have a bit of a feel for why I took my revenge so far and for so long. Luckily I had snapped a few pics of the paperwork I signed upon leaving stating it was due to the EPA infractions. That gets printed out and sent to the department of labor with the rest of their awesome tactics(shorting over time and flat out not paying for paid vacations, time card edits). That lead to tens of thousands of dollars lost in pack pay and fines being levied. The guy w/ the 3 month kid I had to let go told me he eventually settled for almost 35k in back pay... My next stop was the EPA, who much to their surprise didn't even know the company had kept doing the treatments at all as it was supposed to be stopped altogether. Luckily they knew the deal and that it wasn't just me making treatments all willy nilly like. More fines, for each and every treatment performed by them from about 3 months before they fired me. That had to be in the 6 figure range as there was well over 1.5k treatments done in the time and the fine was supposed to be over 1k each. The problem with the treatments were they were too effective, and were wiping out the type of insect that has beneficial and necessary environmental roles. So the mfers were actually hurting the ecology of our goddamn state for their own profit. I created a few fake FB profiles to still be able to follow the owner and his son on FB and find out not 30 days after their EPA issues my department closed down.

Okay so that was 2006ish, two years pass and I keep seeing my POS old boss, speeding around the area (I lived near the place) in his old ass little red Mercedes. Guess who called the cops worrying about the safety of those on the road around this dangerous car? Guess who eventually got caught for DUI at 2pm in the afternoon?

Fast forward a few years to 2011. Mr Whiz Kahlifa drops the song Black and yellow. Decent track. But remember how my old boss was a super racist fellow? Remember the business' color scheme? So I spent about a month sending him different youtube links to that song, from random email accounts. And finally one of a commercial for the company with Whiz's song over it vs the lame jingle they used. Not two weeks after I stop they change the goddamn color scheme of the place to a horrible red white and blue one. But not exactly red white and blue like the American flag more like the Blue white red of the French one. I wait about a month after the Black and Yellow attack and send him a vid of the French national anthem while a the flag is waving in the background. The next goddamn day the place is covered in that cheesy car dealer red white and blue American bunting and American flags everywhere.

Fast forward again to about 2014 and fuck me if I am not out for a walk, and see that company's sign in a lawn advertising that same old treatment on the same old signs from 06'...guess who got sent yet another email to the EPA w pictures? That one got them in major and local news as being "no friend to the environment".

Last time I went by their place they seemingly had half fleet of what are now used blue white and red covered mini trucks. Plus their call center building was emptied of furniture. Unfortunately they are still in business but are sitting at about a 3 star rating on Yelp and that was after they did the damage control to get it back from 1.5 stars.

Sorry(not sorry) guys, I was just playing the long game for you....

(source) (story by StendhalSyndrome)

[kingstonjael]

Why Exes Need To Stay On Your Blocked List (The Bitter Man Edition) I debated over and over if I would write about this incident and finally decided there are some good life lessons in it so I’m going to go there. Let me start off by saying that for the most part, I have always been cool with my exes. Things did not work out and it’s usually for a good reason. I wish them well and I always want them to be happy. The Ex Factor is the only man that I feel if we were to ever split...it would be so hard for me to be his friend but since we are still hot and heavy...I won’t even dwell on that point. 💜 Now to today’s lesson! Why oh why every time I take somebody off of my well thought out blocked list (minus the Ex Factor) I end up regretting it! 😩 Took that leprechaun, Julio, off my blocked list to check on him once the hurricanes started rolling through. If you recall, he had been blocked for a year and a half after wishing my relationship with Elijah (without ever knowing a thing about him) death and destruction! 😳 Now let me be clear, I do not make it a habit of discussing my present relationships with an ex unless he asks! Julio, on the other hand, finds me in whatever state I’m currently living in...to announce his engagements and his pre baby mamas that some how do not seem to ever pan out. I have honestly and openly wished him well because I haven’t been checking for him (on a serious tip) in over a decade. Matter of fact, almost 8 years ago, I told Julio I was no longer attracted to him so he couldn’t even be my fuck buddy. He ain’t seen my kitty kat nor my face since. 🙌🏽🤣✌🏾As he was off living with chicks and planning families, I was and am still deeply in love with the Ex Factor. For better or for worse, my heart rides for the Ex Factor and only the Ex Factor! 💜 Now to this bs. If I had to name my most infamous and unlikeable ex...it would be Julio! My high school and college friends would burn something if they ever found out I was communicating with him! He is the most toxic, hating, and unhappy SOB out of all of my exes! If I ever said a kind word about him it’s because I’m over him so sometimes I under play what he put me through! But to give you an example of Julio’s style....every time I aimed to get a new degree...he would dump me. Matter of fact, our last real break up was at the end of my first year of graduate school. He said it was a family with him or school! Now you know what I chose! My degrees are forever! No regrets because God had a greater plan and love for me! 🙌🏽 And this was an easy choice for me. I never looked back. Anytime I heard from Julio again it would be when he got his heart broken by some woman. He always thinks I’m his fall back and will always want him but um no. If you saw what the Ex Factor looked like and what Julio looked like...you would get it. The Ex Factor is beautiful inside and out! Positive and caring when he isn’t driving me crazy of course! That’s why he is the ONLY man I would have children with! If we did not work out, I could love again but my womb is only for him. That is how deep my love for him is. But back to this ass Julio. When I unblocked him, he issued apologies, I love you’s, and claimed to be a new man. Of course I’m well aware of the saying that “a leopard never changes its spots.” First conversation was short and okay. Then came last Thursday! When he hit me up, I knew he had something on his mind. My biggest mistake was engaging in this conversation. 😩 Julio told me that his grandmother had been urging him to have grandchildren so that he would have someone to take care of him in his old age. Wtf nana? That’s a terrible reason to have children! But okay. Now wait for it...Julio then tells me that he’s been on sites looking for women to have children with but don’t want a relationship with them. 😳🙄😳He just wants someone to co-parent with! 😳 Does this sound like a sane man?! And are there really such sites?! Lawd a mercy! Julio grew up in single parent household so I’m not surprised that he underestimates the value of a two parent household. No matter what...I grew up with two parents under one roof trying to make life and I would aim for nothing less! Now life can turn you into a single parent and if so be it...many people are successful at it BUT to choose that life purposely...well let’s just say no way I would want to do that! ✌🏾As the conversation progressed, I patiently waited to see where Julio was going with this mess! He finally asked me what my views on children are. I told him they have not changed since we met when I was 15 years old...I do not want children. But there is one exception, if they Ex Factor wanted children, I would aim to give him up to 3 if we were to be so blessed! 💙 I love children...I really do but I’m not one of those women that must have children. I’ve always felt that way. It’s only a person that could make me consider it. The Ex Factor is the one and only man to make me even think of children. There is just something about him that makes me feel like I could face all my fears and excel at being a wife and mother. He’s a team player and I truly believe he would have my back as we built our family. 💕 We are both slow on commitment but take it very seriously! Julio, on the other hand, is no one I would ever want to have children with for he does not possess one single trait that I would want my kids to have. Now hear me out...I’m not just saying this because he’s on my shit list. You can ask anyone who grew up with me. Anytime children came up...it was Julio pressuring me. I never had a need. Never dreamt of my children with him like I do with the Ex Factor. I could tell that my response irritated Julio but he watched his words for fear of being blocked again. What he did, on the other hand, was try to politely plant doubts about my situation with the Ex Factor. He was asking why we don’t live together, how old the Ex Factor is, and even what kind of television we watch. Wtf?! I never asked not one question about none of those bitches he dated. Nan questions! Because like...I don’t care! Haven’t cared in 10 years! 🙌🏽 That is something Julio struggles with. I DO NOT WANT HIM! Matter of fact I’m like all his other ex bitches...we all not fucking with him! Bitches done cheated on him and married the jump off and had children...and Julio still bitter. 😳😩 Like so many years have passed! Forgive her and move on! 🙌🏽 But there was something I was curious about. The one question I have been asking for years was how the hell did he leave his mama’s breast milk in NYC and end up in the South West? He finally answered. Julio and the last chick he was living with for years decided to move to Dallas. He moved first and she was to follow shortly after. Julio waited 2 years and the bitch never showed up! 😳😩😳 Turns out she was dating other guys back in the tri state area and never wanted to be Julio’s wife! Now how the fuck did he miss that one? Minding my business I’m sure instead of paying attention to his. I mean he was laid up in the bed with her for years and did not know she did not want him on a forever tip?! Where do they do that at?! And who the fuck waits 2 years for someone? After 6 months in Dallas and she never moved not a box...it should have been clear that relationship was over! 🙌🏽 When I met and fell in love with the Ex Factor, I never announced it to Julio. I just stopped picking up his calls. It wasn’t until years later did he find out who I was dating! While he calls me up to brag to me that he’s so happy all the damn time!✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾 Is looking for baby mamas online a sign of happiness?! I must have missed the memo! Bish...please! God just don’t like ugly! I get why Julio was coming for me in our conversation. He’s bitter and currently lives in a state where bitches need green cards more than dick and he still can’t keep a woman! 😳 Now I would have never even thought of going there if he weren’t coming for me and mine! To top it off (I don’t know if he does this to the other exes), he swears he knows what’s best for me! Really Julio?! When you never treated me right...not one day in your adult life?! The way he speaks to me is still so fucking condescending! And he acts like my family likes him and they don’t! Only my aunt that practices voodoo is checking for him and that ain’t even saying much because I don’t fuck with her! ✌🏾 However, she is the reason why I know what happened to Julio immediately after he dumped me in May 2007. Julio and my aunt ended up working for the same company. After our final break up, he moved in with some older lady that he met at work. Now this part Julio told me with his own mouth! He and the older lady (not sure how much older) tried to have children. They got pregnant three times and she lost each baby...with the last one being stillborn! 😭 And what did Julio do? He left her because she couldn’t have children!😳 That was probably the only bitch that truly loved him! I get leaving someone because you want children and they don’t...but not leaving a woman you claim you love to go find a cash cow that can produce! ✌🏾 And year’s later....the mfer still don’t have children!!!! Sometimes by the woman’s choice because one of the ex fiancée’s had an abortion for him. He wanted the twins and she didn’t! Once again, Julio told me this himself! Julio, maybe if you were a kind and loving person, you would meet a good woman. If the bitterness you throw at me is what you threw at all your women...well it’s no wonder you are alone and desperate! This all sounds so mean but honey it’s the truth! You over there worried about me and the Ex Factor when you should be focusing on getting right in your life. You are the common denominator in all those failed relationships! You stink of sadness and bitterness! It’s crazy how society focuses on bitter women but never check the bitter men! They need to work on their shit too! I have tried to be a good friend to this person but he is just determined to bring me to his level of bitter bitchness and I’m not having it! Julio is now on the permanent blocked list. Ladies, if you blocked an ex after giving it a lot of thought...he needs to stay blocked! Some people are always going to be full of negativity! Julio been an asshole for almost the last 21 years and shit just ain’t gonna change. I’m tired of rooting for and supporting people who don’t support me! And you know what...I love the Ex Factor even more now. For all the crap I have said about him...no matter what...he has my back. Even the times we were broken up...he would speak life into my life. We both still have so much growing to do but I’m so blessed to call him my babe...through the ups and downs. Riding for you and only you boo! ~KJM giving a Charm School lesson on a Temptation Tuesday! 💜 Remember that love in itself is a risk. No one knows if they will actually get to forever with their mate...until they actually do. Love openly and honestly. Most importantly, get through those hurdles together...when your backs are up against the wall. The Ex Factor has taught me so much. Like how so much good can be on the other side of the bad...if you both put in the work!🙌🏽