kobayashiseal-blog

[kobayashiseal-blog]

No Longer an Active Role Play Blog

Well, that didn't last long, did it. =w= Whooops! 

I'm sorry but unfortunately I'll be leaving this OC RP blog in the dust. It was fun to try role playing on Tumblr but I guess I really do cling to forums. I just wasn't feeling it on this site!

Thanks to everyone who has role played with me! I had a lot of fun doing so. Your characters and blogs are great and you've all made me feel very welcome to role play here. 

I don't think I can bring myself to delete the account because I needed a lot of help to make it look nicer than my actual personal one! Sorry again everyone! You've all been great! 

Pip~

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta hadn't heard of Lostlorn forest before. He wondered if he had taken a wrong turn at some point. He sighed. 'Never mind. I'm sure I'll be fine.' He thinks as he descends and hits the ground, shock traveling through his legs. 

"Well, thanks for telling me. I'm sure I'll find it soon." He had another look around himself. This really wasn't the National Park. "Oh, I'm Yuuta by the way." He said with a smile. 

Lani was walking to visit her cousin’s rest place in the forest when she heard a voice, a loud one at that…. She put her hands to her sensitive ears and cringed. She glanced up in the tree and her dark brown hair instantly turned black. “U-Uh…” She looked around before saying thing. “You’re in the Lostlorn forest…” She shy voice echoed as she tried to recover.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta thought for a while. He thought about what must be wrong with this kid and what must have made him think like that. Also, why someone would want to philosophise with a random stranger and him no less. 

He nods a little as he makes his decision. "Well, of course it exists and older people believe in happiness too, you know." He paused as he looked at the boy. "So, why are you unhappy?"

+1 prey; @kobayashiseal

Wow, this kid was an idiot. Kousuke hadn’t thought anyone could be this dumb—either he was stupid enough to think that act would work, or to actually believe what he was saying. Sure, being happy’s probably great if you have reason to be—but as far as Kousuke’s concerned, no one has, not in a world as messed up as this. The people who can really stay honestly cheerful even among all that; well, they’re even more stupid than the ones who pretend to be.

“You’re saying happiness exists? You really believe that?” He laughs loudly. “Please. Only a two year old would think that.”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

'This doesn't look much like Shiretoko National Park.' Yuuta thought as he hopped up into a near by tree so he could get a better look at the surrounding area. 'At least it's pretty green.' That's all he wanted. Countryside. Somewhere relaxing. He thought he'd better ask for some directions so started to let himself down from the tree. A view wont help him much.

He was a few limbs away from the ground when he noticed someone passing near by. "Excuse me, miss! Is this the National Park?!" He shouted.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

'Really?' He thought. 'I haven't told you?' Yuuta knew that if he hadn't told him already what had happened then there was no way he could. He wanted it to be vague. At least that means no one can say you didn't try. 

'I'm trying, Matsu. I really am.' 

He takes a deep breath. "I love you too." He exhales. "I just don't want to scare you." He takes his hand and leads it up to the back of his head. From what Yuuta could remember his head was pitted with scars and cuts. They're unattractive, writhing red lines but these aren't the ones that hurt. They're either sensitive or dead but the one that hurt the most was the biggest. It felt as if someone had put a length of string under his scalp and his skin had grown over it. The scar went from the top of the crown to the nape of his neck. He winced as he guided Matsu's hand over it. He couldn't say anything to explain it so this was a start. Showing him was a good start, right? He continued to guide his hand down the scar. 'Please don't freak out and leave.' He whined and pulled his hand away.

Yuuta put his arms back around Matsu. "I'm sorry." He said. "I suppose it's yours."  

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

He really was crying. Matsu holds him a little tighter, but notices that he hadn’t actually explained. He hadn’t said what was wrong with his head. Was he still going to… try not to explain? Matsu wasn’t particularly good at being assertive in the first place, let alone while Yuuta was crying his eyes out. He wanted to find out what happened, but realised by now that Yuuta wasn’t going to tell him without prodding. How could he best do that, in this situation…?

“Yuu,” he murmurs into his blazer fabric. “Not knowing what’s going on… that’s making me sad, alright? Knowing something’s going on, but not knowing what it is. Not you telling me that you’re not okay.” He exhales slowly, deciding he might as well go on, his voice still gentle. “I wanted to talk about this, really. That’s my main problem. You don’t tell me things. I know you want to… protect me, or you feel bad because you know… you know about Father, but, I don’t care, okay? I care about you, though. I don’t want to be treated any differently like that, especially if it’s hurting you. That just makes me feel bad. Alright?”

He sighs into his clothes. “Come on, Yuu… I don’t feel like I ever heard the full story, from you.” He buries his head in his shoulder, nuzzling slightly as he mumbles, “I won’t be mad, whatever happened. I love you.”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta had never had a younger sibling and was surprised to see that a baby could move this much. He giggled a little and held out the cake to her but how do you feed a baby? 

He hummed a little as he tried to think. He eventually decided that he should take off little pieces instead of just giving her the whole cake. "I'm sorry but I don't want you to become ill." He breaks off a piece of the cake and hands it to Angela.

When she was picked up, the child cooed softly. Once inside, she looked around and couldn’t keep her head still for one second. All the yummy food was around her and Angela squealed with excitement. Clapping her hands enthusiastically, she kept wiggling her little feet. “Happi! Happi!” Looking through the display case, the infant saw many delicious looking pastries. That was when her eyes set on a fudge cupcake.

The cupcake had white icing on it and tiny colorful marshmallows, something the baby was attracted to. Waving her tiny little arms, she makes motions towards the cupcake. “Umbaa! Umbaa!” When Yuuta took notice of Angela’s motion to the cupcake and got her it, the child did a little happy wiggle dance. Clinging to the boy’s shirt, the little girl’s eye never once left the cup cake. As the cupcake got closer, she started to drool more.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

He shakes his head vigorously. Yuuta thought he told Matsu everything. Everything he need to know, at least. Everything he wanted him to know.  Ah, maybe he left out most of it. Yuuta thought that he would only have to tell him once and that would be the end of it but it isn't. It isn't? He shakes his head again. 

"I... I don't want to see a doctor, Matsu..." Tears dripped into his mouth. "I like the hospitals but... Not so much the people who work there." He paused and relaxed a little in his arms. "I don't..." Just thinking about telling Matsu what happened is making him feel faint. "I don't want you to be sad." It's only started hurting recently. Maybe something's gone wrong again. 

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

Matsu sits and listens to the growing silence, wondering if Yuuta was going to say anything at all—it concerned him, but he supposed he was thinking. Until he outright refused to say anything, Matsu would let him think. Yuuta shared things that bothered him so rarely that he thought it could be as difficult for him to share absolutely anything as it was for Matsu to talk about his father, and Matsu desperately wanted to know anything. So he’d give him time. It was all he could do.

When Yuuta finally does, his breath catches slightly. He feels something inside him break as his nose is buried in Yuuta’s shoulder, gently putting his arms around the other’s back as he listens. Is he… crying? he thinks with growing alarm, not having realised something was bothering him that much. For how long had this been upsetting him? For how long has he been pretending to be okay?

The fabric of Yuuta’s blazer scrunches up between Matsu’s fingers. “What… what about your head hurts?” he asks, his voice soft. Was it a migraine? Could it be something more serious? His forehead creases. Why didn’t he ever tell him about these things? Maybe it was something about wanting to be strong, or not wanting to bother him, but… not knowing hurt more. Feeling like he wasn’t doing anything hurt more.

“Maybe you should see a doctor about it,” he breathes.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

The tone the boy is speaking in makes Yuuta feel... Uncomfortable. Maybe he should have left the boy alone and not approached him. He's feeling regret which is wrong isn't it. How can this kid hurt him? He looks only old enough to be in junior high. 

"Well, what's wrong with that? Feeling happy is a good thing!" He says with a smile. 

+1 prey; @kobayashiseal

Well, wasn’t that cute? Kousuke rolls his eyes, fixing them on the other’s with a dull stare. All people pretended they didn’t realise what they were doing the second someone pointed it out to them—it makes him sick. Maybe he was disgusting, cruel, pathetic, or one of the many other insults that had been hurled at him over his lifetime, but at least he could pride himself in being honest in a world that favoured those who put on an act.

He stands up, stepping a little forward from the wall, putting his hands in his pockets as he shifts his weight to one leg. “As if I haven’t heard that before,” he says slickly, his voice snide. “Don’t tell me you look that happy because you actually are. What weirdo is?”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

He followed the child to the shop window, crawling a little himself. 'Foo foo' he assumed meant food and he could hear her stomach rumbling even from here but-

"You've got a big appetite for a baby, you know!" He said as he laughed a little. The cakes in the shop window seemed to be a little on the expensive side but would it really hurt just this once? 

Yuuta picked up Angela and said, "Come on! I'll get you something to eat, okay?!" He then walked over to the shop door and walked inside, asking if she could see anything she wanted. 

Reaching out a hand, the infant lightly presses it against his. Smiling happily, Angela used her other hand and waved at Yuuta. “Aiii~!” The child’s parents was dead and trying to find them would prove impossible. Cooing softly, her attention soon turns back to the store. Drooling at the scent of sweets, her stomach soon grumbled. Looking up at the window, Angela kept staring at the chocolate and candy. Staring at it a bit longer, she soon sees a chocolate cake being put next to the window.

Squealing with excitement, the infant soon starts to wiggle with joy. Moving away from the boy, she crawled closer to the boy and reached up toward the cake. But due to her height she was far from it. Tilting her head down, Angela pout at not being able to get the cake. Still sniffing the air, she was getting more hungry by the second. Patting her tummy, it growled again. “Foo foo.”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

"Well, when you start like that it sounds even scarier!" Yuuta exclaimed and wrapped his fingers around Matsu's and pulled his knees up to his chin. He looks away. He can't relax. How could he? It would seem that now he's been told to he would be able to but that just puts him on edge even more. He can't relax but does that mean he can't share?

'Yes.'

He didn't want to talk but it would be good wouldn't it and it's what Matsu wants. 'Talking is the first step, Yuuta. Tell me what happened. I wont tell. Secret~.' He couldn't escape a sick feeling and taste in his stomach and throat. Yuuta thought that they wouldn't go away if he kept his mouth shut. The sooner he talks the sooner they'll go. 

But it's not they. It's Matsu. He's safer. Safer than before. 'But it's still so scary!'  He thinks as he bites his lip. 

He let's go of his hand and wraps his arms around Matsu's neck, hugging him tightly. "It hurts!" He said feeling small tears in the corners of his eyes. "I can't sleep because it hurts! It hurts so much... M, my head hurts... So I- I don't sleep." Yuuta admitted. He found it didn't hurt when he slept in class as he slept with his head up rather than rested on something but- "I really need to lie down though but... I can't..." His breathing sounded ragged between soft tears. 

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

“Mhmm,” Matsu hums in response, looking down slightly as he smiles softly, thinking, arranging words in his head. “You make it sound really scary, saying it like that,” he says, chuckling quietly. He reaches for his hand, still wanting that closeness even if they were going to talk about problems. He never wanted to lose that. “Relax,” he murmurs. “I think this’ll be good for both of us.”

He breathes out slowly, trying to explain. “I mean, I think you’ve felt it too, right? I love you, but… some things, I’m not really okay with.” He stops, quickly adding, “Not like big things, but… well, I think we should talk it out. Our relationship.”

He looks up at him, sticking his tongue out, trying to keep it light-hearted. Intimate. If they were both on edge, would anything important really come out? “We’ll take turns. You first.” What’s bugging you, Yuuta? I’m sure you have things too.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta had been minding his own business, as far as he was aware, while he was walking home until he heard someone shout. He turned his head looking for the one who shouted and his eyes finally settle on a young, dark haired boy. He was staring directly at him. He stops and looks around again, making sure that that call was meant for him. 

He wanted to know what the boy wants so makes his way over to him. 

Tilting his head at the boys question, he asks, "What do you mean? I'm not fooling anyone." 

+1 prey; @kobayashiseal

Some people Kousuke just could take one look at and know he wouldn’t be able to stand them. Sure, when you hate pretty much everyone it’s not too hard, but the types that put on a peppy facade and worked to please everyone, while really only caring about popularity and recognition—it was those types of people that were not only really easy to spot, but also the type he hated the most. They were the most fake.

“Oi,” he calls at the latest he’s spotted, leaning casually back. “Who do you think you’re fooling?”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta sits next to Matsu as he gestures to do so. The lie wasn't very good but could he really come up with anything better? 'No. Of course not.' He thought and nodded in agreement. It'll be a good enough lie and I don't think the teachers will care too much anyway. 

He looks around a little nervous and apprehensive now that he agreed to talk about this with Matsu but he shouldn't be feeling this apprehension. Yuuta knew that he should be able to talk to Matsu about everything and anything. It would be disrespectful if he didn't, right? After what Matsu told him and that took more bravery than what ever he's going to say now. 

"So, you wanted to talk?" He said, putting on a small smile. 

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

“Do we?” Matsu was more relieved to see Yuuta cheering up a little than he’d ever let him realise. “I… suppose we do,” he says, smiling slightly and starting in that direction. The memories he associated with that place were mixed—on one hand, it tended to be where he’d run the second he started having a panic attack. But on the other hand, it was always a place he shared with Yuuta. He’d spoken everything he’d dared to there, and he supposed, in a way, they’d also taken themselves as far as they dared.

It was their place. That seemed about right.

As they reach the sheds, he slows a little, awkwardly letting himself down with his broken leg. He sets down his crutches and shuffles to the side, gesturing for Yuuta to sit. “Alright. If anyone asks, we were looking to see if a teacher was going to turn up, and I got tired, so we stopped.” It was believable enough, wasn’t it?

[kobayashiseal-blog]

"Eh?! But, but I thought... I thought you'd have somewhere in mind?!" He cried. Yuuta wasn't sure where they could go but hadn't Matsu said something about going home or to the library? He wouldn't mind going home but maybe staying at school would be easier however, the library reminded him of his dads shops too much so was put off from going there. 

He followed after Matsu and tried to think of where they could go, humming slightly. "We could go to the bike sheds, right?! We can go there! We usually end up there don't we!" His hand moves to take Matsu's but stops as he remembers he needs it for his crutches so pulls back and pretended he meant to put it in his pocket. "Yeah, come on." He smiled.

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

Matsu looks up at him, a little stunned. He actually sounded like he was thinking. Maybe it was mean to think so, but that wasn’t something Matsu thought he did much. After a second, he laughs quietly, if somewhat awkward and quiet. “Me… me too,” he says. “Me too.”

Still smiling faintly, only then does he make his way through the door, looking back at Yuuta a little sheepishly. “Come on, then.” I’ll… feel a little better, if you’re okay with this too. He still loved him, after all. Things had changed, but not that much. “Now, where are we going?”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

The heady aroma of sugar and sickly sweet from the shop had left Yuuta feeling a little sick and intrigued to what was being made there so decided to take a closer look through the window of the shop. He wan't all to fond of sweets himself but would often pass by in search of presents for friends and family however, choosing which ones was another matter. 'Ah, I hate being so indecisive!' He thought as he continued to stare through the shop window at the array of sweets. 

Nevertheless, he decides that he should try and get a closer look at the chocolates and sweets so moves towards the door but stops as he comes across a small baby. 

Kneeling down he waves a little at the child. "Hi there, sweetie! Why are you alone?" Yuuta looked around at the crowds by the store. "Have you lost your parents in the crowd?" He wondered. 

Off on a little adventure.

        Exploring and filling a curious mind.

You meet three new faces

gefuhllosteufel

dolls-and-music

kobayashiseal

Crawling forward, Angela was in a empty street. Wondering where she was in and where everyone went, she kept moving. Soon a sweet aroma was engulfed into the air. “Ou?” Curious about it, the infant moved in the direction of the scent. She was soon at the source. Before her, the small child was in front of a candy shop. There was a new batch of candy and chocolate being made, which caused the aroma to drift out the window. Due to that, the shop was filled with small children and young adults trying to get candy.

Drooling at the mouth, the child wanted to eat some of the sweets. Hurriedly crawling toward the shop, Angela tried to get into the small shop. But unfortunately the doors were closed and she was to small to reach the handles. Looking up, she stares at the handle, wondering on how to open them. Pouting at the sweet aroma that kept lingering around her, the little girl soon turns around to find a person standing in front of her and stares up at them.

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta didn't think anything he could say would be hurtful to Matsu now. He couldn't believe he said something like that to him before. It really wasn't like him and maybe not saying anything now would be the cruelest thing to do. 

He shakes his head. "No, no I'm not mad and I don't want to scare you." He says. That's the last thing he wants. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little disappointed in myself so I'm thinking, I guess. That's all." 

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

Matsu blinks a little, taking his crutches, uncomfortable. Was he still mad at him? Was that why he wasn’t talking? More than that, was this how he felt when Matsu didn’t talk? He almost feels bad about it. Yuuta, who usually talks a lot and about nothing in particular, just being this silent is too eerie.

“Yuu, I don’t know if you’re mad at me, or… or something,” he starts, making his way to the door with his crutches, still somewhat avoiding eye contact. “But I’m not mad at you. I mean, I just think we need to sort things out, that’s all.” He swallows, stopping at the doorway, looking up at him and smiling a little anxiously. “Please talk to me. I don’t care if what comes out is mean, or depressing, just… you’re… you’re scaring me, like this.”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Yuuta would prefer it to be quick. Quick and easy. Painless. The longer it went on for the more it would hurt so make it quick. A little chat for a little matter. Isn't this blowing things out of proportion? He mulled things over but decided that maybe if he did what Matsu said then...

Biting his thumb nail, he nods again and tugs gently on Matsu's sleeve. Yuuta liked skipping class. It still felt safer than being in a class room still even though he knows no one's going to hurt him anymore. 

He picks up Matsu's crutches and handed them to him. 'Come on. Look him in the eyes.' He thought as he was unable to do so and walked over the the door, holding it open for Matsu. 

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

He isn’t talking…? Matsu thinks, wondering if he’d stepped over some line. Matsu, for one, still felt somewhat… uncomfortable. The fact that they had an argument was scary enough, but that Yuuta had genuinely terrified him for a moment was worse. It wasn’t something he wanted to accept but it was something he was going to have to get over. They both had to get over a lot of things—only now was he realising how much.

A little nervous, realising that Yuuta’s lack of words means he has to lead, he looks down a little. “Well, I think this, this might get long,” he says, his voice a little quiet. How do you talk relationships through, calmly, after having yelled at each other? It would stop feeling weird, wouldn’t it? Swallowing, he suggests, “D’you think they’d let us… study at home, or in the library, or something, if we said a teacher hadn’t turned up?”

It was a stretch. Maybe they ought to just skip class—it was something they’d done before, and they’d assume everyone was on the trip anyway. Maybe not drawing attention to themselves in the first place would be better…? He bites his lip. “D’you want to skip?”

[kobayashiseal-blog]

Relief flooded through him as well as happiness for the forgiveness off of Matsu. Thank goodness he wont hate him for shouting. He didn't mean to, he only shouts when he needs to and... It wasn't needed then. It was stupid to snap like that at him for something so small but wasn't he protecting Matsu? Of course he was. He wouldn't get hurt if he doesn't tell him.This is for his own good, right?

He initially shook his head as he gripped onto the fabric a little tighter.  Yuuta was unsure whether or not to share with Matsu. He hasn't done so before and he didn't expect he ever would. Yuuta was tempted to say, 'It's fine' again didn't want another argument. 

'Is this another 'get over yourself and try to move on' moments?' He didn't know but maybe he should stop excluding Matsu from his life if he wants to be included in Matsu's. 

He nods.

Alone for a Hike; @kobayashiseal

Matsu keeps jumping at his yelling, afraid, despite himself. Though it wasn’t something he would ever admit, partially because of how uncomfortable the thought made him, and partially because he really didn’t want Yuuta to treat him differently, he can’t help feeling scared that things were going to escalate in a familiar way that he couldn’t control. If you’re this angry, are you going to hit me? He has to swallow and tense and brace himself, despite knowing that this was a stupid fear, that Yuuta wouldn’t.

He hoped he wouldn’t.

He flinches at Yuuta’s hand on his sleeve, on edge, half-expecting more even though he hates himself for it. Unmoving, he listens, slowly getting a grip on reality and himself once more, on the Yuuta he knew. The Yuuta he still knows. Of course he wouldn’t hit him. His force on the table had just scared him, that’s all.

I’m sorry. I’m asking you to trust me, but I should trust you as well.

Matsu looks to one side, feeling a little drained after that. It was hardly a long argument, but it had changed a lot, somehow. “It’s… it’s fine,” he says softly, still frighteningly cautious as he glances up at Yuuta’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have snapped either… and…” He breathes out heavily, looking away again. “I think, I think we both need to change a little, and talk about that, don’t you… you think?” He swallows. If they could talk it over… hadn’t that been what he wanted in the first place?