#had to take my cat to an emergency vet visit i was hiding from my mom

[lessthanpog]

ugh i forgot my ps5 controller started drifting a few days ago too >:(

[londonfoginacup]

Just want to say, once again, the BIGGEST fucking thank you to the people who were kind enough to donate to my cat’s emergency vet visit this last weekend. You guys are beyond BEYOND kind and you don’t even know the weight it took off of my soul to know that I still had the money to take him in for… the third visit… on Tuesday…

ANYWAY. Artistic recreation of my baby “hiding” from the vet

His current diagnosis (drumroll please) iiiiiis… IBS. My fucking cat has IBS. Which I really should’ve expected because his sister has gastritis.

SO ANYWAY. Fitz now has FOUR medicines he’s getting twice a day for the next month (anti nausea, probiotic, antibiotic, steroid), and then a life of steroids but that’s FINE. Because he is DOING WELL (cross your FUCKING FINGERS) and HAPPY AND YELLING AT ME TO GET FED AGAIN AND THAT’S ALL I CARE ABOUT.

Picture of his confident strut around the vet’s office before the vet actually came in:

So. Fucking thank you THANK YOU. I cannot thank you guys enough. And for everyone who just wished him well. Seriously I don’t deserve yall.

So here’s a Louis for u, as my very small gift of appreciation:

[kosmic-songbird]

Trigger Warning: Animal Hospital Visit

TLDR: I had to take my dog to the vet last night because I left a baby gate open so I'm looking for tips and tricks to be less forgetful.

Had to take my dog Sadie to the emergency vet last night.

This is our second time this year. The first time was for arthritis. We didn't know she had arthritis and we thought she had popped her hip outta place. But turns out she was just very good at hiding her symptoms since she has severe arthritis. Her daily meds help and she hasn't had another flare up.

But last night she came inside and her stomach was severely bloated. I was super scared it was GVD because Dobermans, like all deep-chested dogs, are more prone to having a stomach flip.

I kept my cool better than expected. The grounding techniques I've been learning in therapy really helped. I still was a mess but not as big of a mess as I could have been.

At the vet, we found out it was just a food bloat. I knew she had gotten into the cat food earlier that day, but, truthfully, she's gotten into the cat food before and nothing out of the ordinary happened. That's why I didn't think of it too much when it happened.

The vet was sure it was dog food and they showed us pictures but I was pretty sure it looked like our cat food. When we got home I checked the cats gravity feeders and sure enough they were both almost empty. The dog food has not been touched at all, so it was for sure the cat food.

Really this shouldn't have happened. We have a baby gate that the cats can get through but blocks the dogs from getting to the cats food and litter boxes (she's eaten out of the litter box before too). But I accidentally left the gate open. So it's my fault.

I'm so so relieved this wasn't something worse and I'm not upset with Sadie for what happened. When I got her four years ago she had been abused and was starving. If I had grown up starving I probably would eat myself sick every chance I got too.

What this has made me do is evaluate my current state of living. I have ADHD and am stereotypically forgetful. I leave lights on, the curtains open at night, the garage door open, etc. If I had been paying attention to what I was doing this never would have happened. It's not my fault that my brain works that way, but it is my responsibility to be better.

So if anyone has any tips on how I can be less forgetful and more intentional I would be very grateful if you shared them. I don't want this to happen again and I want to improve as a person.

One thing I'm going to do, if my fiance is okay with it, is write a list of things I want to do better and check it every day. And have him compassionately check me when I forget or just don't do something. Only if he's okay with that. I don't want him to feel like he has to babysit me, and I told him that, so I'm waiting for his response to my request. He's at work rn so it may be a bit before I find out.

And of course, I am very grateful to Hekate for watching over my baby. I always pray to her when it comes to the dogs and she always listens. And to anyone that has made it this far, thanks for reading.

[amyisherenowitsokay]

It was my intention on June 2nd to announce the official anticipated publication date of Re:MHNY2. As the release date is going to be July 2nd, the 11 year anniversary of the original MHNY2 release date. I was going to publish the cover with it for a fun little self-indulgent thing.

That didn’t happen because June 2nd, my beloved cat of 14 years was hospitalized. She has dropped within 3 weeks from 9.11lbs to 5.4lbs. A nasty bladder infection has turned into chronic kidney disease that will never completely disappear.

These past few days have been emotionally draining. It is so incredibly hard for me as a pet mom to this little princess, who led me through the sudden and traumatic death of my first cat, to look at this beautiful girl of mine and see her suffering. We will be finding out tonight if two days of heavy antibiotics and constant fluids has mattered enough.

This whole experience was made needlessly harder by the first pet hospital we took her to, vet B’s facility, deciding that even though my cat’s vet from facility A called ahead insisting she needed IMMEDIATE emergency care, that they didn’t like that we didn’t use vet B’s facility for the check-up, and that we needed to be punished for it. My mother sat for 4 hours, while this facility refused to give my cat any access to food, water, a litter box, or even temporary treatment because they couldn’t charge us the diagnostic fees, since all her labs were already done. I cannot describe how close I came to losing my mind on the disgusting, petty, snide tactics of that vet facility at the expense of my cat’s suffering. I am immensely grateful to my family for stepping up and finding a third facility, vet C, capable of offering overnight care while I swung between comforting my cat and dry-heaving hysteria when I was out of her sight. After what should’ve been a 45 minute drive, made 30 by my mother, my sweet girl was taken into the back in minutes, not hours, for treatment at vet C. We are going to pick her up this evening and discuss her condition.

I don’t know what tonight looks like for me, but I knew if we should hear the worst, that I will not be cognizant for days, at least, and didn’t want to delay the announcement, since I don’t know when I’d next feel up to making it.

Whatever you believe in, please find some way in your heart to pray for my cat. She’s a sweet girl. I cannot describe to you how good she is. All she ever wanted was for Mommy alone to hold her. I’m the only one who could pick her up without her crying and complaining. I tried to feed her wet food for 45 minutes at vet C’s facility during visiting hours yesterday. She kept ignoring the food to try and nuzzle me, or the popsicle stick I was using to smear food on her mouth, because she missed me. She likes tiny beanie babies, and the sound of the crinkling beans. She carried them around like kittens and never let her brother play with them. She didn’t have the energy yesterday to play, so I crinkled them for her by her head. I never wanted her to see me upset and had to take several breaks to compose myself out of view. She loves me so much that the one time I didn’t catch a tear in time, she tried to stand and follow me to comfort me. When she’s home, she likes to follow people into the bathroom and talks to them while they go. If we make scrambled eggs, she’ll ask for some just to hide in people’s shoes. She’s a sweet girl. She’s such a sweet girl. She just wants Mommy. I just want my cat to be okay. Please keep her in your thoughts.

[theworldofdog]

5 Ways To Stay Happy and Healthy With Your Pet in 2023

In 2023, I think we can all agree that we want to do our best to keep our pets Happy and Healthy. But we need to make sure we’re extending ourselves the same courtesy. That’s why we’ve come up with five things we can do with our pets in the coming 11.5 months to stay fresh and curious. Yes, there’s some (mild) exercise, and you’ll need to visit the doctor. But maybe learning a new language or routine could make you both happy? know more about how to stay Happy and Healthy with your pet, for more details, visit us at the world of dog. Here’s what we’ve got — with help from a pair of experts:

1. See the Doc (Both of You)

Taking your pet to the veterinarian was part of our 2023 resolutions, sure, but we’re always going to harp on how important it is to take care of your pets’ health. You and your dog or cat need to head to the vet once a year at the very least. (Extremely young pets as well as older ones need to visit more frequently. Ideally, the regular visits will ensure that your vet can catch any potential health problems early and that your furry friend is up to date on all their shots. “It’s just a good idea,” says Steven Appelbaum, founder and president of the Animal Behavior College. But you need to hold up to your end of the bargain, too. What would your pet think if he knew you were skipping out on your regular checkup or physical? Make that appointment. Get to know more about how to stay Happy and Healthy with you pet.

2. Learn Some New Skills — Maybe a Language?

Sure, you can start off 2023 by teaching your dog the basics — or you can even try something more advanced, like nose work. You can attempt the training yourself, but make sure you’ve done your research and employ the proper methods, says Ben Bennink, chair of The Association of Professional Dog Trainers. If that’s too much, then you can hire a dog trainer or attend a group training class. But what about something you can learn, too? Perhaps a new language? You might not want to spend a ton of time on Duolingo or Babbel, but teaching your dog new cues in a different language can have its benefits, Bennink says. For example, if you normally speak English but teach your dog’s cues in French, you no longer have to worry about tossing “sit,” “stay,” or “walk” around in normal conversation. Bennink says you can also save the alternate language for your dog’s “emergency cue” — the one word you use to recall your dog to your side right away. That can eliminate confusion when your dog needs to come to you fast. Need a shortcut? Teach your dog’s — or cat’s! — cues with hand signals, too. Dogs learn through hearing or seeing, but Bennink says they’re more likely to follow the hand signa

3. Embrace the Special Routine

This one is a favorite of Appelbaum, and many of us probably have one. You know, those weird rituals you and your pets have developed over the years. For him, he used to play a game of “find the treat” with his basset hound and Labrador retriever. The self-explanatory game took about 10 minutes, and the dogs — forced to use their brains to find the hidden morsel — loved it. My family had something similar. For years, my poodle Riley would beg for her dental treat each night, and each night my mom would get her to bark, turn around in circles, and then execute several flying leaps into the kitchen. After basically long-jumping two or three times — to great applause — she would very smugly trot back into the living room with her chewy stick. Anyways, all this is to say you and your dog or cat should find your own special routines. Maybe you can jazz up meal times or turn a few morning minutes into hide and seek. Your pet will enjoy it, and you’ll enjoy watching your pet have fun. Win-win. Please visit us at dog’s food if you want to know more information regarding how to choose a dog’s food.

4. Walk — and Smell — More

Speaking of routines, walking more with your dog or cat is good for everyone involved. For us, walking daily can help regulate our weight and keep us healthy. For our pets, dogs especially, it might be even more important. “Giving them opportunities to engage in their natural environment is huge,” Bennink says. Most of our dogs are primarily stuck in a house — maybe with occasional time out in a yard — so walks offer the perfect chance for physical and mental stimulation, especially if you give them plenty of time to sniff. Dogs experience the world through their noses, so be ready to linger on the sidewalk as your pup tries to figure out who’s peed there so far that day. It’s good for his mental health, and some fresh air won’t hurt you, either. Exercise can also really help dogs with behavior issues and boredom, Appelbaum says. A consistent walk — maybe even just three or four times a week — offers an outlet for energy that could otherwise turn destructive.

5. Just Do What Your Pet Likes

This is abstract, but you know your pets better than anyone. You shouldn’t do any of the activities listed above unless your pet enjoys them. (Well, except for the vet one. Our pets definitely need to see the vet whether they like it or not.) Bennink says you shouldn’t force your pets into activities they might not like. If you try a new activity and your pet clearly doesn’t like it, that’s fine. Just go back to the enrichment your dog or cat knows and loves, whether that’s a food puzzle or the flopping fish. This, in part, is why you should always be conscious of what’s going on with your dog, Appelbaum says. Not just likes and dislikes, but watching their pee, poop, and behavior will make sure they’re doing OK. They’ll do the same for you, after all.

[itsdetachable]

First of all, service animals DO NOT BELONG IN THIS DISCUSSION. They are not pets, they are required medical aids, and most if not all owners of service dogs bend over backwards to take care of them sometimes putting their own health at risk to do so. Don't bring them into this discussion. In a perfect world insurance would cover all costs related to service animals.

This post did not become weirdly targeted at poor peope, it was written after I'd seen the thousandth instance in my life of a person who said they were too poor to properly care for their pet, that they willingly got despite knowing they werent in a situation to care for it properly.

This post was not about ppl who have the money and means to care for their pets, but don't do so. That is in and of itself a HUGE issue, absolutely, but not what I was posting about. This post actually WAS about poor people who get pets despite knowing they cannot properly care for them (regular vet visits, medication, Enclosures, food, etc) because their personal want for the animal outweighs the animal's right to proper care.

There is a VAST DIFFERENCE between poor people who plan for their pets and have a worse financial period or poor people who weren't given the right resources to understand a pets needs before getting it, or poor people whose pets had an emergency and now find themselves with vet bills that they werent expecting - and poor people who get pets without regard for their needs and care requirements bc they believe they deserve a pet even if they can't care for it.

This post isn't about ppl like you or ashnotashe, it's about ppl like my former friends mom who could have afforded to care for a single ferret, but instead kept buying ferrets until she had 8-10 at any given time in a two story critter habitat not even fit fit for one, feeding them cheap food and never taking them to a vet because "it cost too much" (and constantly buying more ferrets because ferrets kept dying). It's about the 'just a poor college student' with a ball python in a tank too small for them, with no uv bulbs or heater and only one hide and no controls over heat ans humidity, who posted a pic and begged ppl to not "be mean" because they were too poor to afford better, despite knowing they wouldnt be able to care for it properly when they got it. It's about all the ppl saying they can't afford a filter and heater and bigger tank for their betta, or a bigger tank for their school of glofish, or a bigger cage for their hamster.

At the very basis, if you cant provide the basic setup for pets like fish, or if you can't afford yearly checkups at the vet for animals that require them (this includes pets like snakes and lizards and birds and hamsters etc) you can't afford the pet. Period. My canaries vet visits are AT LEAST $100 for a regular check up. That can rocket to over 200 if they have to do a throat swab and prescribed meds. Her basic carw is ridiculously simple and cheap, but vet visits are pricy as hell. I could say I can't afford that, let her suffer from the silent respiratory infections she gets (my vet and I agree it's possibly a chronic condition) and have her die on me soon, or I can pay that cost. Snakes are expensive. Dogs and cats are expensive. Birds are expensive. If you get a pet you know you cannot provide the basic care for then you shouldn't have it. (And yes I understand emergencies happen and not everyone can afford hundreds or soemtimes thousands of dollars at a moments notice, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about regular checkups and vaccinations if needed).

Pets are not a right, no one deserves a pet. Any pet, whether it's a freaking millipede or a neon tetra or a canary or a corn snake, is a living animal that deserves to have its needs taken care of properly. They don't have a choice in owners, they don't have a choice in living situations. If you cannot reliably say "I have put aside money for this animals food and care" you shouldn't get a pet. I know how important pets are to a person's mental wellbeing - but they are alive and they shouldn't have to suffer because someone just wants them.

Listen, I spent over a decade around a specific park area in my city where a lot of homeless ppl congregate. I've seen plenty of ppl with dogs and cats who are in better health than they are, ppl who go without to make sure their pets are fed and taken care of. I've also seen plenty of ppl whose dogs have untreated injuries or obvious health issues that they either ignored or said they didn't have money to treat and just did nothing about dogs who ate pizza out of the trashcan and cats that died from eating poisoned rat.

As much as I would love to say everyone deserves a pet, the truth is that no one deserves a pet. You get a pet because you want to care FOR another living creature, not because you want that living creature to care for YOU (or give your life meaning, or save you from yourself, etc.)

I really am begging ppl to not get pets if they're not able to provide the basic necessary care for them.

I am extremely sympathetic to anyone who is poor but listen - if you cannot provide proper housing, food, and care and a safe environment for the pet you want just don't get it.

Sometimes I see posts where ppl post their inadequate setups and they're saying they can't afford better, and I can't help but think "then why did you get the pet?" And I know that might be harsh but. Just. Don't? I can understand sometimes a situation turns bad and you mightve been able to care for a pet before but not at that very moment. But if you cannot afford the proper care but go ahead with getting a pet...I just, cannot accept that.

[ayybtch]

You’re Worth A Perjury Charge

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part of A Mutual Weirdness

Summary: Bucky finds a kitten outside of your apartment and brings him inside. You make him be a responsible adult and take the cat to the vet to find out if it's microchipped, but Bucky is so head over heels for his newfound furbaby he’s willing to risk legal repercussions. 

Word Count: 2,422

Warnings: None! Bucky being absolutely adorable with a cat

A/N: So I didn’t previously have a tag list for this series, but I started one for my Wanda fic and a couple people asked about it for this so I’m starting one! Let me know if you’d like a tag! Additionally, you don’t have to have read the part before this but it’s a little funnier if you have given that the script is flipped between them. 

“Uh, Bucky, what the hell is that?” you ask, eyes wide at the wet ball of fur poking out of Bucky’s leather jacket. 

Bucky looked down at the little white cat, smiling as it meowed softly. “I found this little guy by the trash cans downstairs. It was raining so I couldn’t just leave him there.” 

You stared at him in disbelief.  “If that’s where you found him, how do you know he isn’t one of my neighbors’ cats? I get wanting to get him out of the rain, but the heart eyes you’re giving him makes me think you want to keep him.”

Bucky frowned at you, “Of course I’m keeping him. Look at him, he’s soaking wet and looks half starved! Clearly, he’s not being taken care of if he does belong to someone, so really I’m just doing everyone here a favor by taking him in.” He glared at you as you started to laugh.

“Oh, I can just see the headline now: ‘Former Winter Soldier Locked in Cat Custody Battle’. Some little old lady who just adopted this cat - ” you laughed too hard to speak for a moment, “- is going to go berserk and sue you for everything you’re worth just because you like her cat.” 

Bucky huffed and opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the cat meowing. The smile on his face as he stared down at the little bundle of fur made you melt, though you did your best to hide that fact from Bucky.  

Bucky nodded along attentively as the kitten continued to meow. “I know, she’s being so inconsiderate of your well-being, isn’t she? She’s worried about some little old lady suing me over you. Well, guess what? She can sue me all she wants, I’m not letting you go. Even if I have to lie to a judge and say ‘I plead not guilty in case of the missing cat. Please ignore the gentle meows coming from inside my jacket - ” He paused again as the cat continued to meow. “Mhm, you are absolutely right. You’re worth a perjury charge.” 

What on Earth was happening here? You are the animal crazy one, not Bucky. Yet here you are, being the reasonable and responsible adult in a situation involving an animal. The irony of the situation hit you and you couldn't help but chuckle. 

Your laughter eventually died as you noticed the heart eye expression on Bucky’s face. He was already completely enamored with the kitten. Sighing, you knew you needed to find a middle ground and fast. 

“Bucky, baby, would you at least be willing to take him to go see a vet? We owe it to whoever might own the cat to see if there’s a microchip. If there’s not one, we can get a check up on the little guy while we’re there and make sure he’s good to go.” 

Bucky stared at you suspiciously for a moment before responding. “What do you mean ‘good to go’? You don’t mean to get rid of him, do you?” 

You shook your head. “No baby, I just want to make sure he’s okay so you have a happy, healthy kitty in your life.” You almost didn’t get your sentence out before he was squishing you into a hug. A small gasp escaped his lips and he pulled away abruptly.

“I could’ve squished the baby! Are you okay?” Bucky pulled out the cat and examined him anxiously. A small squeak left the cat, confirming he was okay. 

While he agreed that a vet visit was in order, the new challenge was figuring out when to take the cat. Bucky refused to take him back into the rain, claiming it was going to make him sick. You conceded and agreed to let the kitten stay until the weather broke. That was all Bucky needed to start trying his hardest to convince you that he should keep the cat regardless of what the vet said. Every time the cat did anything cute, Bucky was gasping and pointing out how cute he was. He almost started crying when the cat pounced on a random sock laying next to the coffee table, swearing up and down he had never seen a more precious sight in his life. 

The number of pictures Bucky was taking of the kitten as he explored the apartment was hysterical. Any time he took an exceptionally cute picture, he immediately sent it to you. You currently had 18 unopened messages from Bucky, each one a different picture of the cat. You finally had to put an end to it once the kitten curled up on a pillow in the living room, settling down for a nap.

You tugged on Bucky’s hand and led him over to a barstool and gestured for him to sit. You made two sandwiches, handing one to him once it was done. The two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t until you were almost done eating that you spoke.

“You know, it’s kind of refreshing having you be the one that’s animal crazy for a change.”

Bucky smiled at you sheepishly. “What can I say, you’ve rubbed off on me.” His voice was teasing as he spoke, but the slight blush on his face suggested this was all just as unexpected to him as it was to you. A second silence fell over you, but this time he was the one who broke it.

“So what should we name him?” he asked, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the new pictures on his camera roll. 

You sighed and put your head in your hands. “Baby, I know you’re excited but remember what we talked about. We don’t know if he belongs to anyone yet. Let’s not go getting ahead of ourselves.”

Bucky sighed and nodded slightly.

Four days later, the two of you walked into the vet’s office hand in hand. It was the earliest appointment you were able to make without it being an emergency and you were worried that the extra few days did nothing but increase Bucky’s attachment. The kitten was adorable, you couldn’t deny it. There were times you thought about how nice it would be to finally have a little furry companion but you refused to keep an animal that could belong to someone else. 

Once the three of you arrived, you were checked in promptly by the receptionist and were led into the exam room by an overly peppy vet-tech a few minutes later. Once inside, she gently grabbed him out of Bucky’s arms and made kissy noises at him as she began her portion of the exam. 

Watching the kitten refuse to hold still during the weighing process was amusing to say the least. He kept moving around and trying to jump off the scale. It took several attempts, but she was finally able to record his weight. She fared a little better while taking his temperature given she was holding him, but the kitten still wiggled trying to escape her hold. 

“I wonder why he’s being such a spaz right now. He had no issues with me holding him yesterday. At least, none that I noticed.” Bucky paused and turned to face you, confusion written on his face, “Did he give you a hard time when you held him?” 

The vet-tech chimed in before you had the chance to respond, “He’s probably just decided you’re his person. Cats are a lot like people in that they pick their person and trust them to do things they don’t trust anyone else with. He doesn’t know me, so it makes sense he’s being a little fussy.” She set the kitten back on the exam table and he jumped into Bucky’s lap.

Bucky stared down at the little bundle of fur that was now purring as he rubbed his face against Bucky’s stomach. His expression was a mixture of shock, joy, and love. 

For the first time since Bucky had walked in with the cat, you truly contemplated helping Bucky keeping him even if he was microchipped. He was going to be crushed if this cat belonged to someone else. Your stomach twisted at the thought. If we can’t take him home, we’re immediately going to the animal shelter and Bucky can pick out as many cats as he likes, you thought. 

A knock at the door pulled your thoughts back to the room. A new woman in a white lab coat walked in with a smile on her face. “Good morning everyone, I’m Dr. Brown. I hear you guys were lucky enough to find a cat, is that right?”

Bucky nodded and looked down again at the cat with a smile, “Yes ma’am. I found him in the alley next to our apartment.” He carefully picked up the kitten still laying on his lap and handed him out to her. 

Dr. Brown smiled again as she reached out to grab him. “Why hello there handsome, how are you doing today? I’m gonna check to see if you’ve got a microchip which won’t be too bad, but I may have to give you a couple of shots -” her sentence was cut off by loud meowing from the kitten, almost as if he understood what she was saying. 

She chuckled before continuing, “I know, I know. Shots aren’t fun for anyone. But let’s find out about your microchip and finish the rest of the exam and see if they’re needed before we start complaining too much.” 

Bucky reached out and gripped your hand tightly as she set him down on top of the exam table. She held a small rectangular device just above his shoulder blades for a few moments before setting it down and continuing with the exam. She spent the entire time talking to the cat as she went about the exam. She checked both of his ears and his mouth before moving on to checking on the various limbs in his body. Once the exam was complete, she turned to face the two of you.

“Well, good news on all accounts. Mister Man here is a perfectly healthy kitten. He looks to be about 16 weeks and is in great shape all things considered. He does not have a microchip though, so that leaves us with some options moving forward.”

You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding in. Bucky remained silent, though his grip on your hand grew slightly tighter. Dr. Brown didn’t wait for a response before continuing. 

“If you want to keep him, we’ll microchip him and start giving him his first round of shots today since we don’t know if he’s had any so far. We’ll also send you home with a little goodie bag with some treats, a small toy, and a packet with some basic information about caring for a new pet. If you don’t want to keep him, you guys are free to go and we can take him to a shelter from here. Fostering is another option if you’re not interested in keeping him but also don’t want him to go to a shelter.”

Bucky, who almost seemed to be in a daze after hearing there was no microchip, was suddenly brought back to life. “We’re keeping him,” he said firmly. The smile on his face was contagious and soon everyone in the room was smiling just as wide.

“Very well then, let me go get what I need so we can finish up here. I’ll be right back,” she said. You waited for her to leave the room before turning to face Bucky. 

“Well, since he’s officially yours now, I think it’s finally time for you to start thinking of names.”

Bucky chuckled, “Yeah, about that... I kind of already named him. I decided on a name after you went to bed the first night he was in the apartment with us.”

You faltered for a moment, unable to hide your shock. “O-okay. What are we calling him?”

“Alpine. It seems like a good name for a cat.”

Twenty minutes later, you and Bucky were walking out of the vet's office feeling lighter than you did when you first walked in. Bucky was beaming as he looked down at Alpine, who was now officially his according to the paperwork stuffed inside his jacket. His joy was contagious and you were starting to feel the same sort of excitement Bucky had been feeling ever since he came across the poor thing in the alley. 

“So what do we do now?” you asked, moving closer to Bucky. He wrapped his free arm around your waist and thought for a moment. 

“Well, now that there are no foreseeable perjury charges over a cat in my future, I think it’s probably time to focus on my newfound fatherhood.” 

You groaned as he spoke, “Does this mean I’m going to have to put up with Dad jokes from now on?” 

The shit-eating grin on Bucky’s face answered for him. 

The walk back to the apartment was quick. The two of you spoke occasionally, but mostly enjoyed the quiet comfort of just being close to the other. Once you arrived at your apartment building, the doorman greeted you. You were ready to wave and keep walking, but Bucky held you back.

“Hey man, could you get a picture of the three of us? We just adopted this little guy and I’d like a picture to commemorate it,” Bucky asked, letting go of you to pull out his phone. The doorman nodded and took the phone.

Once he was done, Bucky thanked him and the three of you finally made your way back to the apartment. As soon as he was inside, Alpine jumped out of Bucky’s arm and made his way to the couch. He curled up in what was now officially his spot, making your heart swell. You turned to see if Bucky noticed, but he was too focused on his phone. 

“Already sending pictures of Alpine to Steve and Sam to brag about your newfound fatherhood?” you teased, arms wrapping around his middle as you spoke. He shook his head no and remained focused on the phone. Just as you were about to ask what he was doing instead, Bucky turned his phone around so you could see his screen. 

You were stunned, completely unsure of how to respond to what you were seeing. Slowly, you opened your mouth and tried to find the words, “Bucky, please explain to me how our cat already has a verified Instagram account?”

[rest-upon-the-morning-light]

JonMartin fic

So I’m trying to get back into fic writing, especially for TMA, and have a multi chapter fic planned but wanted to start with a smaller one shot style fic to warm up. It’s been an age since I’ve written anything, much less something that wasn’t just reader based or smut lmao. I’ve added trigger warnings but if I missed any do let me know! 

Any feedback would be great and if you like this, please send me prompts! Happy to write anything from fluff to smut, just as long as its TMA based :D 

So! Here is my cute fluff JonMartin fic! Enjoy~ 

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat 

Word Count: 2240 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Animal Abuse, but nothing to graphic. Anxiety. Self Worth Issues. Season 1 Jon being Season 1 Jon. Season 1 Martin being Season 1 Martin.

Fandom: The Magnus Archive

Pairings: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood 

Summary: Martin was certain of two things. One, he had an enormous crush on his boss. Two, his boss hated him. Who knew a one eyed beast of an alley cat would bring them closer?

Martin Blackwood has two problems.

Problem number one. He was absolutely certain he was more than a little bit in love with his boss.

Problem number two. His was absolutely certain said boss hated him.

 Well, hated was probably a strong word. Hated implied that Jon thought of him at all, and it was far more likely that Jon thought of him very little throughout his day. Except, of course, when Martin did something wrong. Then those piercing eyes of his would be solely fixed on him whilst he shouted about how inept Martin was or how stupid his mistake had been.

It hurt, those moments. It hurt that the only time Jon ever truly seemed to see Martin was when he was angry at him. Not when Martin did an amazing follow up on a statement. Not when he’d created a great rapport with a statement giver or their family. Not when he brought Jon tea. Just when he did something wrong.

It was a running theme in this annoyance Martin called his life.

He still couldn’t help these feelings though. Jon was an arse half the time that much was true. It infuriated Tim to know end when Jon would lash out at Martin. “He has no right Martin. Mistake or not he’s your boss, he’s supposed to help you, not act like a massive dick all the time”

It was harder for Tim and Sasha in a way. They’d been Jon’s equal for a long time, working together. Moving to the Archive was always going to be a bit of a challenge. To have friend become boss. Especially for Sasha, who everyone thought was going to be become Head Archivist. But neither had held any real resentment over Jon for the change. After all, it wasn’t his choice, it was Elias’s.

But Jon’s sudden shift from rude but mostly recluse and occasionally friendly colleague to rude very recluse and stick constantly up arse boss was harder than any of them expected.

Martin could understand. It was big position and Jon seemed like the type to take everything he did very seriously. This meant holding everything in the archive to a high standard. His assistance included.

So yes, Jon was awful to him a lot of the time. But he was passionate. He cared. For all his blustering that none of this was real, Martin could see how much he empathised with the people who had given those statements. How he looked like he’d personally failed them when a follow up revealed they had died not longer after they’d come to visit the institute.

His crush probably wasn’t the most healthy but sue him! He liked being a bit in love. He liked having inspiration for his poetry. He enjoyed the fluttery feeling in his stomach when he came into work.

He just wished Jon didn’t quite hate. No. Didn’t quite dislike him so much.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a cat that has been hiding the alleyway behind the Institute for several days now.

Martin noticed the poor thing when he’d been taking out some rubbish that accumulated in the Archive. Usually that sort of thing wasn’t his job, but he’d been done for the day anyway and he liked to be useful, even if no one really noticed.

It was a mangy young thing. Light brown fur matted, one eye seemed to be damaged and it hissed every time Martin so much as approached it.

He couldn’t just leave it though. Poor thing needed help. It was out here, lonely, forgotten, damaged by the people that probably at one point said they’d love and protect it.

Was he projecting onto a stray cat now? God this was a new level of sad.

So he did what someone in his position did best. He researched.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a surprising number of places to buy cat supplies near the Institute and the workers in the shop were incredibly helpful with his questions.

Approach slowly. Don’t try to touch or hold the cat. Leave out food and water. He’d also bought a small plastic hut and shoved a warm blanket inside for the large cat. He didn’t know what breed it was. Just that it was grumpy and hurt.

It didn’t take a great deal away from his own funds either. His job paid well enough and he didn’t exactly go out with people very often, buying expensive drinks or tickets to shows.

His special treat was usually some sugar drenched coffee.

He couldn’t see any physical injuries on the cat, apart from its eye, so he put some treats in the hut, left out the food and water, then left.

He came back everyday with more supplies to keep the large growling cat comfortable. Every day that passed the cat came a little bit closer to him. He grinned at that. Hoping one day it would come close enough to pet.

He’d read somewhere that when cats blink, once and slow, it was a sign that they trusted you. Martin waited for that day with bated breath.

Tim and Sasha were a little bit suspicious as to where he was going on his lunch breaks. He told them he just taking a long walk, getting some fresh air away from the dusty old archives but he knew it wasn’t the best lie.

Lying for the sake of his job was one thing. Lying to his friends for no good reason was another.

It wasn’t like he doing anything bad. It was more that he wanted this for himself. He wasn’t even too sure why. Part of him wondered if he was worried the cat would somehow take some natural liking to either one of them or both. He didn’t want to lose all his hard work.

Or, if he was being more honest with himself, he didn’t want the cat to abandon him for someone better.

Yeah. New level of pathetic had been reached.

But one lunch, a few weeks after he’d first spotted the broken but massive feline, that the lying and the ill feeling became absolutely worth it.

Because the cat approached him.

Martin didn’t move a single muscle. He was sat on a small wooden box in the alley. Far enough away as to not frighten the poor thing, but close enough that the cat could make contact if it wanted to.

And today it did.

He held his breath the closer it got, keeping eye contact with its good eye the whole time. It paused for a moment, right in the front of his bent legs, before it let out a small mirp noise and butted its head against his knee.

“Oh hello” Martin laughed, chest feeling lighter than it had in an exceptionally long time.

He reached out his hand slowly to pet its head and let out another sign of relief when the one eyed cat let him.

“Well” he began

“I can’t very well keep calling you cat or beast in my head, you’ll need a name”.

It didn’t acknowledge his words in any way, just continued to let him scratch behind its ears and watched him with its one working eye. He could almost imagine its thoughts.

“Silly Martin, just come up with one already. Stop wasting time”.

He let out a soft chuckle at the thought, a name ready on his lips.

“Jon” he smiled gently.

“I think I’ll call you Jon”.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It went well after that. Martin made plans to keep the cat. It would help the dreariness of his lonely flat, and he was lucky his landlord allowed pets in his building.

He couldn’t afford proper insurance but the workers at the pet shop knew an emergency vet that wasn’t too expensive, so he could get Cat Jon’s eye checked out soon.

Giddy as he was with his newfound friend, he didn’t realise that he’d been less subtle than usual about where he was going on his break.

It was one grey, wet Wednesday that it all came to ahead.

He’d been sitting crossed legged on the ground, his coat below him as a sort of makeshift blanket to keep his trousers dry, when Human Jon found them.

He hadn’t even noticed Jon had followed him until the backdoor that led the alley burst open with a bang that echoed down the narrow way.

“Martin” shouted Jon, looking at some papers in his hand.

“I need you to take your lunch late and follow up on this report. You made several errors in your research that, frankly, a child could spot. I don’t know what you’re doing out here but if you have time to sit around then –“

Jon’s rant was cut short as he finally looked up to the picture that greeted him.

Cat Jon had leaped into his arms from the loud noise, clinging to Martin’s bright yellow sweater.

Martin froze, cat in arms as Jon stared at him with a look of equal shock.

“Oh” began Jon softly

“Sorry” Martin practically shouted.

“I – eh – this is, well um, a cat, I found? A few weeks ago, actually. I’ve been sort of taking care of it? Getting it food and water and um” he gestured to the plastic hut and blanket he’d laid out.

“He was hurt you see. Only one eye and really badly taken care of. Abandoned, I recon. So I’ve been out here on lunches making sure he’s, um, that he’s okay? Is that..is that alright?” he trailed off nervously.

He couldn’t look at Jon. It wasn’t exactly something to be ashamed of, taking care of a stray cat. But he could imagine Jon being the sort of serious no nonsense person who would see it as a waste of time, his lunch break or not. God would this make his relationship worse? Would Jon scold him for it? Did it make him seem more pathetic than before? Christ, was that even possible?

He didn’t notice the movement until Jon was sat beside him on the floor.

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, sat on a dirty alley floor with Martin K Blackwood.

He watched with bated breath as Human Jon reached his hand out to Cat Jon and let out a small sound of relief when Cat Jon didn’t bite, scratch or run away.

“You poor thing” murmured Jon, eyes only on his (unknowing) cat counterpart.

“What have they done to you? Well, you look better now than you probably did before. Thank to our Martin here”.

Martin couldn’t help but blush deeply at that. Hot all over his face. He couldn’t handle this. Jon being all, all soft and gentle and calling him “our” Martin.

“You’ve been taking care of him then?” Jon looked up at Martin now. Eyes soft and kind for once. It nearly took all of Martins brain power to respond after receiving such a look.

“Yes” he began.

“Like I said, I found him a few weeks ago. Planning on taking him back to mine soon, get him out of the cold properly”.

Jon nodded, eyes never leaving Martins, hand firmly petting the cat in Martins arms.

“I’m sorry, about the work” Martin nervously bit his lip.

“I’ve been really worried about him so I rushed it to get out here on time. It’s no excuse and I know you don’t exactly think highly of my work in the first place. I’ll make sure I stay late tonight so I can catch up”

“Martin” interrupted Jon, eye straying on the bitten lip, a slight flush to his cheeks.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t been fair to you these past few months. It’s been unprofessional at best and, well, and downright cruel at worst”

“Your job is stressful” Martin tried to defend

“And we both know I’m not exactly at the same standard at the others”

“Still” Jon continued.

“It’s my job to help you, not, berate you at every mistake. You came from the library, not research, so you have different skill set and – well, its been hard for us all. Not fair of me to put all that blame on you. God knows Tim could stand to be a bit more professional at times” Jon grumbled out the last part, a small pout to his lips.

Martin laughed at that, smiling wider than he could last remember.

“Tim just likes to keep you human, I think” he winked and watched with fascination as the flush came back to Jon’s dark cheeks.

Cat Jon leap out of his arms after that, toddling off to who knows where.

“Well” Martin began, getting up from his cross legged position on the floor.

“We still have time for lunch, we could, um, maybe eat together? If that’s okay I mean! You could help me figure out a name for him?” “You don’t have one already?” replied Jon, surprise in his voice “Uhhh not any suitable ones, no” Martin laughed awkwardly.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d name the poor blighter after Jon. He doubted Jon would take it as a compliment and he didn’t want to ruin whatever fragile peace they’d stumbled onto.

He held out his hand to help Jon off the floor. Jon eyed it, before bringing his own hand up and placing it into Martins larger ones. Martin pulled him up and held back a small gasp as Jon shot forward quicker than intended, his smaller hand landing on Martin chest.

Jon looked up at him, a small shy smile gracing his lips.

“Beautiful” Martin couldn’t help but think, face and ears bright red.

Jon pulled back, coughing every so slightly into his fist.

“Yes, well, I’ve named a cat or two in my time, it won’t be too hard” “Oh?” teased Martin

“What about Magnus? We did find him here” Jon shook his head at that, crinkling his nose slightly.

“Absolutely not, something more dignified. The Captain maybe?” “Captain?” countered Martin

“The Captain” continued Jon as they began to head back inside

“I suppose the one eye does give him a bit of a pirate look” Martin couldn’t help by laugh slightly as he said it.

“Yes” Jon laughed back

“Dignified but still fitting his nature” And off they went, back into the Institute. Unaware of any monstrous eyes watching them as they simply watched each other. A new, wonderful feeling developing between them.

Neither noticed that they still held each others hands as they made their way to the break room.

And if they spoke of cat names, and toys and flushed deeply when they did notice the hands still entwined, well.

Those moments were only for them.

[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (4/?)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: ~2.9k (this chapter) / ~11.6k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Sportsmethyd (Jan Sport/Crystal Methyd) Rating: E

Read on AO3

Crystal was excited for today; it was probably the best part of pretending to be engaged, enough to make her wonder why she hadn’t thought of this sooner. Today, she and Gigi were going wedding cake testing. They had lined up three different bakeries after finding out which ones didn’t charge for the consultation, and they had just arrived at bakery number one.

“I’m not very picky about flavor or anything, I’ll try whatever you recommend,” Crystal was saying. “However, my wife-to-be here especially loves red velvet, but doesn’t really like chocolate, which is weird to me, but we’ll probably go with what she wants.”

When the baker went into the kitchen, Gigi turned to Crystal with a surprised expression. “How did you know my cake preferences?”

Crystal shrugged. “You’ve mentioned it a couple of times, and I know you always get excited when they have red velvet muffins in the dining hall.”

“Oh,” Gigi felt a fluttering in her heart that she couldn’t – or rather wouldn’t – explain. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down. “Well, you’re more observant than I give you credit for, then.”

“I get that a lot,” she mused, then sat upright when the test slices were brought out. She tried to listen to the descriptions, but she was practically salivating and dug in as soon as she could. “Now the texture of this is really nice, I like how it brings out the subtle flavor notes.”

Gigi covered her mouth to hide a laugh. “You’ll have to excuse her, she binge-watched Cake Wars last night,” she explained, gently patting Crystal’s thigh. After that, they got through the rest of the tasting without incident, and they told the baker they’d be in touch and left with the leftovers (that they hid in Gigi’s oversized purse so they could go and do the same at the next two bakeries).

Crystal patted her stomach in satisfaction as they made their way back to her apartment. “I can’t believe we never thought to pull a stunt like this before. It’s like telling the waiter it’s your birthday so they give you free ice cream or something,” she mused.

“I feel kinda bad though, we should order something from those places. Just, you know, not a wedding cake,” she added.

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Crystal readily agreed. “So, did you hear back from your friend about doing a photoshoot?”

Gigi nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me, actually. Does Saturday afternoon work for you?”

She nodded. “Totally. How’s it gonna work? Like, are we gonna be in our dresses, or is it gonna be something different? I don’t know how this works.”

“We’ll do some in the dresses, some in different outfits. It’ll give me the motivation to finish the fucking thing so I don’t try to pull an all-nighter right before it’s due,” she decided. As they kept walking, her hand kept brushing against Crystal’s, until she just caved and held her hand. It wasn’t like she hadn’t before, but it felt different this time. Holding Crystal’s hand had never made her heart skip a beat before, and she was yet to figure out how much she liked that.

It was different for Crystal. She already knew how she felt, and maybe that made it easier for her. She could allow herself to just appreciate the small act of affection, even though she did have to look away when she started smiling too wide. She probably wouldn’t try to overanalyze it until she was alone, at least. All she could do at the moment was appreciate being close to her, as it never seemed she could get close enough.

They’d both stopped thinking about it by the time they got home, and Crystal put the cake in the fridge, shooing away the cat at her feet. “Not a chance, Tic Tac, the vet already says you’re getting too fat.”

“Don’t body-shame her,” Gigi playfully chastised.

“I’m just being a concerned mother,” Crystal insisted, then looked over towards Jan’s room. She heard her voice, but couldn’t distinguish the words. “Ah, she must be working on the French song.”

Gigi tilted her head. “I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and assume it’s for Nicky, huh?” She let out a small laugh, though not in a mean way. “She’s… really crazy about her, huh?”

Jan came out of the room before Crystal could answer. “Hey, guys. How did the cake tasting go?”

“Great, there are leftovers in the fridge if you wanna pick at them,” Crystal offered. “How’s your song coming along? What’s it called again?”

“It’s called Aimé by Loane. I haven’t looked up the English translation, I feel like that kind of ruins it, you know? But when I heard it, it just made me think of Nicky, like deep in my heart, I just know it works,” Jan explained.

Gigi chewed on her lip, fighting back her words until she couldn’t anymore. “I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. How can you be so head over heels over someone you’ve never been in the same room with?”

Jan didn’t seem terribly bothered by this question, it wasn’t a new one to her. “She’s not written in braille, Gigi. I don’t need to touch her to know her.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got an emotional connection,” Gigi assured. “But have you even been with anyone since you guys started talking? Or are you really saving yourself for someone across the ocean? We all crave physical intimacy, you know?”

“Are you coming onto me?” Jan asked in an attempt to deflect. She glanced over at Crystal, whose face said ‘don’t you dare.’ to which she silently conveyed ‘I would never.’

Gigi didn’t notice any of that, just laughing it off. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t deprive yourself because you’re too busy pining to get laid.”

Jan chuckled softly. “I appreciate your concern about my sexual wellbeing, Geege. But I can take care of myself, and anyone else that comes along,” she glanced back towards the fridge. “I am gonna have my way with that leftover cake, though.”

------

Ever since Crystal and Jan had embarked on this unusual adventure, they had gotten closer. And they needed it, considering they had both been driving themselves crazy trying to pull off this scheme while they were in the midst of taking their finals. The end was around the corner, but trying to get through the final stretch left them tense and exhausted. So when they didn’t want to bother their respective love interests, they turned to each other.

“I keep thinking about what Gigi said,” Jan admitted as she passed the joint back to Crystal. She had never considered herself any sort of smoker, but Crystal was so comfortable with weed that it didn’t seem so scary, and it had actually become something that helped her unwind as well.

Crystal furrowed her brows as she took a hit, letting the smoke billow out in an O shape. “What? About you not getting laid because you’re always in your feelings about Nicky?”

“That’s one way to put it, yeah,” Jan chuckled softly, laying her head in Crystal’s lap. “Am I limiting myself just because of my feelings? It’d be different if we were in an actual relationship but… I don’t know. Have you hooked up with anyone since you realized you have a crush on Gigi?”

Crystal had to stop and think about it. “I… guess not, actually. Maybe that’s why we’ve been so fucking weird about all of this,” she mused.

Jan propped her feet up against the wall. “You think if we found someone to have a one-night stand with, we’d be able to get through finals, graduation, and the fake wedding with our sanity intact?”

“I dunno, I’m not a doctor,” Crystal shrugged. “But I do know sex releases endorphins and shit, like, all that good energy and stuff,” she mused and passed the joint back to Jan.

“Ugh, finding a good hookup is so much work,” she whined and took a hit, then gave it back to Crystal to finish off.

Crystal rolled her eyes affectionately as she finished it off. “I mean, it can’t be that hard for you, looking like that.”

“Just being a lesbian makes it hard, Crystal. You know that.” Jan huffed dramatically, then looked up at her. “I think we should make out.” It was the perfect solution, wasn’t it? If it was her, it wouldn’t count.

“Do you?” Crystal wasn’t as surprised by the suggestion as she thought she’d be, nor was she terribly put off by it. She and Jan were close, and they were going through the same struggles. Maybe this was what they needed to let off some steam. “Yeah, okay, I’m into it.”

Jan sat up, then moved onto Crystal’s lap. She rested her hands on the back of her head, fingers tangling in the mess of curly hair as their lips collided in a languid kiss. The lingering taste of pot was in their mouths, and Jan swore kissing her made her even more high.

Crystal loved the way Jan felt on top of her. She was soft and warm and she smelled so nice. Her arms looked around Jan’s waist, holding her close as the kiss deepened, their tongues intertwining.

“You’re a good kisser,” Jan observed when she came up for air, their foreheads still resting together. She then sat back, noticing Crystal’s grin and downcast gaze. “What?”

“Hm?” Crystal looked back up, her eyes a bit bloodshot and glossed over, but still full of the lighthearted joy that’d always been distinct to her. “Oh, I was just looking at your tits. They’re really nice,” she explained.

Jan snorted with laughter, then rested her head on Crystal’s shoulder as she giggled some more. “You’re such a perv!”

“You can’t call me a perv,” she pouted as if she took sincere offense, “it was your idea to start making out, you can’t fault me for getting more into it, especially when you know I get hornier when I’m high,” she defended.

“Oh my god,” Jan sat back upright, shaking her head. “Sometimes I forget that there’s a horndog underneath that quirky art student facade,” she teased.

Crystal shrugged, placing kisses up Jan’s chest and neck, then up her jaw until she lightly nipped at her earlobe. “I’m enigmatic, Jan. Get into it,” she cooed as her hands ran up and down Jan’s sides, making her tank top rise up a couple of inches, then shifted to playfully bite Jan’s bottom lip.

“You sure are something,” Jan chuckled before connecting their lips in another kiss. “You’re lucky I’m so touch-starved,” she added as she took her top off.

Crystal’s face lit up like an excited child. “Whatever you say,” she hummed, her hands moving right to Jan’s breasts, happily groping them over the purple lace of her bra as they went right back to their deep, relaxed kissing.

Jan took Crystal’s t-shirt off next, looking down at her bare chest. “I keep forgetting that you have your nipple pierced. It’s so pretty,” she remarked, lightly pinching and teasing it, rubbing it between her fingers. She had started to zone out, and it wasn’t until Crystal started moaning that she was brought back down to earth. “Guess it makes things more intense, huh?”

“Yeah,” she exhaled, “and we’re gonna end up doing a lot more than making out if you keep that up.”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but threatening to fuck me isn’t exactly… a threat,” Jan smirked as she continued toying with her nipple and the piercing.

Crystal pushed Jan onto the bed and pounced on top of her. It wasn’t in a dominant way, if anything, it bordered on playful. She kissed Jan heatedly, her hands haphazardly fumbling to get her bra off, smiling to herself when she finally tossed it onto the floor. She trailed her lips down Jan’s neck, starting to nip at the skin until Jan grabbed her shoulder.

“Nothing above the bust,” she murmured.

Crystal obliged, instead of leaving a hickey on the underside of Jan’s breast, then let her tongue flick across and swirl around her nipple. She then rolled the two of them onto their sides, making it easier for her to tug off Jan’s shorts. “You have a great ass too,” she remarked, reaching her hand around and grabbing onto it.

“You think so? I’ve actually always been jealous of yours,” Jan told Crystal as she tugged her shorts off too. “It’s so cute and perky,” she hummed, squeezing it with both hands.

“We’re clearly both super hot,” Crystal observed. “Like, I bet people would pay to watch us fuck,” she mused as she slid her hand into Jan’s panties and began circling her clit with two fingers.

“Mhm,” Jan moaned instead of properly replying, tugging Crystal’s boyshorts down and moving her hand between her thighs to do the same. “Fuck, you’re so wet. That piercing really does make your nipple sensitive, huh?”

Crystal grunted softly and rutted against Jan’s fingers. “You’re just jealous you have to work harder to get turned on,” she retorted as she eased a finger into her.

“Seem to be doing just fine right now aren’t I?” Jan hummed between moans. The two of them mirrored each other’s movements, whimpering and moaning as their fingers steadily thrust into each other, thumbs rubbing uneven circles against each other’s clits.

And then it started to turn into a competition, the two of them trying to get the other to come first. Eventually, Jan won, smirking in satisfaction as she felt her friend clench around her fingers. But she didn’t last much longer, gasping out sharply as she came.

Once they were both spent, they lay calmly in bed, cuddled up to each other. “Do you feel any better?” Jan asked.

“I think so, actually,” Crystal mused. “The feelings are still there, but they don’t seem so scary, you know?”

Jan nodded. “I don’t feel so overwhelmed,” she agreed, then leaned up and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, you’re such a good friend.”

Crystal beamed and held her close. “And don’t you forget it.”

------

Heidi stared blankly at Jan after hearing the rundown of her situation. “So… You lied to your French not-girlfriend by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding that isn’t real, but Crystal has a big ol’ crush on Gigi, and now the three of y’all are staging a whole ass fake wedding while you’re still taking finals?”

“I only have one final left,” Jan defended, rubbing the back of her neck. “Also, last night Crystal and I got high and had sex.”

She blinked slowly. “First of all, why the fuck are you telling me this?”

“Because if I told Jackie, she would keep trying to solve the problem and be all lecture-y about it. And like, I know you’re gonna judge me too, but at least I don’t feel as stupid when you do it.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that,” Heidi murmured. “Second of all, what the fuck are you gonna do when Nicky comes out here. You just gonna be like ‘sike, gotcha!’ or something?”

Jan sighed and looked down at her cup, sipping from it for a couple of moments. “I don’t know, honestly. I was thinking of telling her that Gigi and Crystal decided to postpone it because they’re too young. That makes sense, right?”

Heidi shrugged. “Well, I don’t have any better ideas,” she admitted, then furrowed her brows. “Wait, why did you have sex with Crystal? Am I missing something here?”

“Because we’ve both been losing sleep and getting super stressed over everything piling up, and neither of us wanted to go through the process of finding another girl to hook up with. So, we just… had each other. It’s not gonna make things weird, our friendship isn’t like that,” Jan explained as she finished her drink.

“Damn, I need to find me a friend like that,” she chuckled, finishing her drink as well. “Do I at least get an invite to the fake wedding?”

Jan laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re totally fake invited to the fake wedding.”

Heidi beamed brightly. “Thank you. Hey, can I see a picture of your little croissant boo? I wanna see what the hell’s causing all of this fuss.”

“Oh, yeah, here, she just sent me her new headshots,” Jan hummed, getting her phone out and pulling the pictures up before handing her phone over.

She studied the pictures thoughtfully, nodding slowly. “Okay, yeah, I get it. I’d throw my closest friends into a whirlwind of chaos over that too,” she decided, handing the phone back to Jan. “I think you should tell her how you feel before she gets here, though.”

Jan tilted her head as she put her phone away. “You do? Why?”

“Think about it, if she feels the same, you guys will be distracted and shacked up in your room, and maybe she’ll forget about the whole thing. And if she doesn’t, you can throw out the whole plan ‘cause it won’t matter. It’s a win-win, how has this not occurred to you?”

There was silence as Jan chewed her lip, mulling it over. “I… Yeah, I guess you have a point. I don’t know.” She exhaled deeply and looked up to the sky. “I’ll think about it.”

[delicatefury]

A couple of Major’s disasters

Raising this dog is a trip, let me tell you:

(Warning, this gets gross. I assume a lot of people might find this stuff nauseating. I’m desensitized since I grew up on a farm and still visit and this kinda stuff is normal for me, and dogs are still carnivores/scavengers and love gross things and Major is no exception.)

Ate an amaryllis blossom that had literally just fallen to the floor. Proceeded to throw up 6 times, prompting an emergency vet visit (during lockdown, so I had sit in the car and wait an hour while they treated him), a subcutaneous fluid injection (left him a hunchback for most of the day), 4 days of medication, and two meals mixed with activated charcoal. He’s 100% okay and was pretty much back to normal as soon as we got home.

Stole a chicken wing from my plate. That my sister was supposed to be watching while I fed the cats. Swallowed it in one bite. Went on life as usually, no distress or anything, then threw up just the bone on my bed the next morning. Thankfully on his doggie blanket and not on me.

Ate my sister’s jury summons (now a moot point since jury trials are cancelled until May or later).

Found and gnawed on half of a dead bullfrog at my parents’ farm. Proceeded to find said dead frog no matter where I threw it. Including when I threw it in a tree.

Ate fermented soybeans that he found under a piece of farm equipment. I didn’t even try to clean up the yard after him that night.

Woke me up at 5, 4, 4, 5, 3, and 5:45 am the last several days.

Chewed up my sister’s Apple earbuds.

Launches himself, full speed, onto the couch so he can bother my brother’s super timid cat who likes to nap on the back. He is not allowed on the couch without permission.

Was so terrified of my umbrella that he forgot to pee despite squatting like he was. Proceeded to have his first accident in days about 10 minutes later after I had thoroughly dried him off.

Bites off and attempts to eat the little whistle part of every squeaker he tears out. Learned he could hide them between his lip and his gums, forcing me to run a finger between them every time I’m suspicious of him chewing on something.

Growled at the 80+ lb German Shepherd over a rawhide. Proceeded to lose his rawhide privileges.

Found a half rotted pig skull from ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (probably from my cousin butchering earlier this year. My parents’ dog probably stole it from his place down the lane). Proceeded to growl at any dog who came near it and thought me taking it away was a game and kept stealing it back. Unburied it from who knows where at our next farm visit a week later and repeated the whole ordeal.

Belly flopped on my sister’s bed of tulips, that she’s growing to cut and sell. Thankfully I only owed her a coffee for that.

Got so excited to see the barista when I went for curb-side pickup at the local coffee shop that he tried to climb out of the back seat and kicked me in the head.

Tried to steal every Easter candy wrapper he could find.

More farm visit shenanigans - will follow the German shepherds into our lake (which is man-made as a in-case-of-draught measure and broken and is more like a shallow, muddy, frog filled swamp until we can fix it) and then wriggle his way into my parents house, which is arranged like a circle on the bottom floor, and drip swampy water while running circuits and chasing their cats until someone can catch him.

Ate decomposing grass my brother knocked off the lawn mower when he got it out for the first time this week. Threw up on the new carpet. Gave me a heart attack because it was dark colored and I thought he had vomited blood for a moment. It left grass stains.

Steals socks. And cat toys. A couple shoes. My new sandals. A rain boot. A squishy macaron toy my nieces gave me. Two small stuffed animals (a marmoset and a dragon beanie baby). A small tub of playdough. Sandpaper. Water bottles.

Tore up and ate half of the cats’ cardboard scratcher.

The Disaster Dog.

[ocular-intercourse]

well we had a situation yesterday, the boy got hurt, it could be bad

we have our windows covered with fly screens to prevent bees/wasps from getting in and the cats chasing them and hurting themselves, but also as a slight guard for the cats not to fall out of the window, but we only ever let the windows be completely open when we are in the room and can stop the cats from messing with the screens, except yesterday when sally came over and sat down for a moment to chat after i came back from visiting my family, and in the meantime the cats somehow managed to tear a massive hole in one of the screens, when sally went back to her room both findus and gigi were outside of the fly screen, and we’re both freaking out cause we’re on the 4th floor and we don’t want them to fall, but gigi is blocking the hole and the boy can’t get back in without her moving, and we can’t move closer cause gigi still tends to panic and run away when she does not want us to be close, and the boy, big sweet dummy that he is, wants to get inside when he sees us and starts climbing back and forth over the cat, and then he fell GOD fuck i wish i hadn’t seen that or heard the impact that is ingrained in my mind forever, we instantly ran down and searched for him, sally went ‘he’s dead oh my god he’s dead he did not survive that’ all the way down 

the back of the house is enclosed so there was not a lot of places for him to be, a neighbor from another house told us from her balcony it sounded like he hit the trash bins but we did not see him anywhere till he heard our voices and started meowing, he was hidden under a stroller that is stored there with the bikes and stuff, crawled in the very last corner, we could immediately tell that one of his paws was broken but other than that and the shock he seemed fine, just meowing non stop as soon as he saw us. it was around 23pm so we tried to reach the on call vet, whose mailbox referred us to a different doc that was supposed to be open for emergencies that night, so we called them, but their mailbox told us that the first doc we called was on call tonight, great, thanks ?? and we’re both freaking out with the boy hiding under the kitchen counter, but we found a clinic that was open a 23 min drive away, asked flo to drive us there and then we waited, they immediately checked his mucous membrane and said it seemed fine enough that they could say he was not bleeding internally or anything, and then we waited some more for the docs to make some x-rays and stuff, i think we were there till.. 2am or something, of course on a day where sally (and i of all people) had to get up early the next day. cause of covid flo and i could not get in with sally and when she came back out she did not have the boy with her and she was very distraught, they wanted to keep him over night because his lung was bruised, so they put him in this oxygen box and now we can only wait and see if his lung gets better by itself, or his condition worsens, they said it could go either way and there is nothing else to do about that. if he is better this afternoon they will set the bone and probably keep him for another night, which is obviously the preferred outcome here, but even then the whole thing will cost up to 3.000 € and that’s not money you just have lying around, especially right now with corona and less work for sally

that sweet dumb cat OF COURSE this happens to him, god, sally was already considering taking up insurance on him cause he’s such a klutz, and now she’s really regretting not doing it sooner, but we’re both saying money is just money we will make this work somehow, or rather she will i don’t really have anything to give, fuck, as long as he is okay and not suffering we will obviously try anything we can

i just hope he’s doing alright right now and it’s just the fracture we have to worry about, he was insanely lucky in the first place, he chipped a bit of one tooth, bit his own toungue, broke both ulna and radius of his right front leg and bruised his rib, so you can pretty much imagine how he hit the bins, he could’ve just as well hit the concrete or the railing to the cellar intrance or a thousand other spots that would have probably done more damage

sally is working pretty much full days for the next 5 days on a big tv production, i can hardly imaginge how hard that must be worrying about him right now, waiting for that call to be told if he’s doing alright or not, and then there’s all these logistics, if we get to pick him up, when and who is available then, is there anyone around that can lend us a car, anyone who can drive when she’s at work, what kind of care does he need the next days... but i’m just still hoping we get to get to these things at all and it’s not going to be a call that will basically tell us we’ll need to have him put down

FUCK

[salaciouscrumpet]

Last night my partner and I held our 17-year-old kitty for the last time.

We adopted our cat -- Spike, named for the character from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer -- from the local Humane Society. We had been living with another couple at the time and for various reasons there had been about 7 cats at various times in their place (two cats belonged to friends who had broken up and needed to sort out custody, three belonged to another friend whose father-in-law had decided the apartment he rented to her and his son needed to be animal-free, two actually belonged to the couple we were living with), and when we decided we were ready to find our own place together we wanted to have a cat of our own. The Humane Society named him Martini; he was about four months old, and -- unbeknownst to us -- had already been returned to the shelter a few times for being “too hyper.” (He was a kitten! Of course he was hyper!) When we saw him and walked closer to his cage he reached his little paws through the bar and wrapped them around my arm, and at that point we knew he was coming home with us.

Spike was hyper. Oh my god, was he ever hyper! He was also incredibly, incredibly stupid, but with a sort of low cunning that enabled him to get in the most ridiculous of situations. At one point he was shut up in the finished basement to keep him out of the way and he managed to get into the rafters and then fall into the wall, behind some paneling, and before I resorted to smashing the panels to free him he burst out, so covered in dust and grime that his orange and white fur was practically black. He had his first and only bath then: him and me, in a walk-in shower, and he was not thrilled. (I did not get clawed to hell, but it was a close call.)

He was an idiot, but he was so damn affectionate and lovable. You could pick him up and carry him around on your shoulders, you could snuggle him, carry him like a baby -- he loved all of it and always came back for more. He watched over me when I had a migraine, following me from the bedroom to the bathroom and back again. He was utterly unafraid of anything and anyone.

Four years ago Spike tore through a screen in the window of our first-floor apartment, chasing after a neighbourhood cat that had been harassing him. Spike -- an indoor-only cat -- was missing for two days. He’d never been outside in his life and we lived on a very busy street, so I feared the worst. When we found him, he was hiding under the porch of the house right next to ours; we sat on the grass, trying to lure him out, and the neighbour (bless him) encouraged us to rip out patio stones if it would help get Spike out. We ended up drawing him out with some tuna, and then the next day he and his two brothers had an impromptu vet visit. (He was fine, they all were.)

Two years ago our other cat and Spike took ill at the same time, and Spike’s illness -- which involved not eating and becoming incredibly lethargic -- seemed the more serious of the two, so with limited funds we focused on him. The vet couldn’t find anything wrong; his bloodwork was exceptionally good for a 15-year-old cat and we weren’t willing to have him operated on or other invasive testing done, given his age and how much vet visits distressed him. He was prescribed pain medication, which he hated but he was too weak to fight us on. Our other cat, unfortunately, passed away (very suddenly), and Spike seemed to worsen. I was certain we would lose him, that he wouldn’t make it more than a month after his brother’s death. Then, suddenly, he just started eating again and recovered. He was weaker after that and very, very skinny, down to about six pounds after being closer to twelve his whole life.

For the past two years Spike’s eating was a challenge. He grew finicky, and then he was constantly begging for food (as a note, the only “human” food we let him have was shredded cheese, some cooked chicken, some tuna, and I would occasionally let him lick my spoon or the cup after I’d had some yogurt; his diet was entirely dry and wet cat food). Given his age and poor health we generally let him eat whatever cat food he was currently interested in, whether it was the top of the line stuff from the vet’s office or the crappy “junk food” you get from WalMart. So long as he was eating, we were happy. He continued to lose weight, but remained his affectionate, cheerful, exuberant self.

This past week I noticed him favouring his hind legs. We knew he was due for a checkup, but were waiting on my partner’s vacation pay to come in so we could afford the vet visit. (This is not a complaint about expensive vet care. We were willing to pay it, and veterinary work is hard work.) It seemed rather as though Spike’s legs were weakened, or like he’d fallen asleep in a weird position and was having a hard time getting his hind legs to wake up again. He still managed to climb up on the furniture, including the kitchen table and our bed, but there were a few accidents when he struggled to get to the litter box. He had a ridiculously long tail and kept dragging it through the used litter, making a mess of himself and the apartment. I had to clean litter and poo off his feet a few times, which he did not care for. He slept a lot, but was still cuddly and playful.

Last night my partner was out with friends and I was at home watching an episode of Lucifer. Spike was on my lap, and when he get up and jumped down to the floor he stumbled, then staggered his way into the kitchen. I followed him, concerned, and saw him go to the cat fountain. He sat down and leaned forward to take a drink, and instead ... just peed everywhere. He then lay down beside the fountain, something he had never done before.

I cleaned up the mess and called my partner, telling him he needed to come home right away. I knew, then, that this was it, this was the end. I broke down for a bit; my partner is more sentimental and emotional than I am, and I knew I needed to be calm and composed to help get him (get all of us) through this. I let myself collapse, and then I called the emergency vet clinic (it was 6:30 PM at this point, our regular vet office had closed) and arranged to bring Spike in. The emergency clinic was in another city, but close by, about a fifteen minute drive. It took us closer to forty, because between construction and my partner’s distracted, distressed state (I don’t drive) we kept missing our turns or running into streets that were closed off, even with Google maps providing directions. (Realistically he shouldn’t have been driving, I’m amazed at the fact that we didn’t get into an accident on our way there.)

Everyone at the emergency clinic was amazing. I cannot even imagine doing their jobs, much less to work at an emergency clinic where the vast majority of their customers and patients were worst-case scenarios. The receptionist let us hold Spike in our laps in the waiting room and bought us glasses of water and tissues. The vet tech brought us blankets and a soft bed for Spike to sleep on in the exam room. In the time it took for us to go from the waiting room to the exam room Spike’s condition deteriorated, rapidly, until he was only barely conscious and unable to be roused. The vet talked us through our options (of which, realistically, there was only one and she was very, very gentle about that fact, which I appreciate).

We held Spike for the last time. We petted him, stroked his enormous ears, held onto his ridiculously long tail, tickled his little toe beans, and told him how much we loved him. The vet warned us that once she started, things would happen fast, and she was right: she gave Spike an anaesthetic, then the euthanasia dosage, and within seconds he was gone. It was peaceful and he knew we were there, with him, and that we loved him.

We had Spike for 17 years, and 4 of those years were an unexpected blessing where we nearly lost him twice. He was an idiot and a pain in the ass, but he was also sweet, affectionate, playful and he loved everyone. I’m going to miss that little idiot so very much, but I am so glad he chose us that day at the Humane Society. We couldn’t have asked for a better kitty.

[happyhealthycats]

My boyo (generally pretty sweet and laid back, especially since his neuter a few months ago) recently started hissing at his sister and he’s been jumpy. I don’t think he’s in pain because it’s not like he responds to a specific spot being touched. Some days he’s fine, and others immensely grumpy. The only thing I can’t think of is that his sister likes to steal his food. I do my best to monitor the situation, but maybe he’s going hungry?

Cats are MASTERS of hiding their pain. A LOT of times, the only clues some people get that their cat is in pain is from a change in their behavior. Certain pains don’t get aggravated by touching them, so while testing it like that is a good idea to make sure it’s not an emergency, it definitely doesn’t give you all the answers you need. Not just that, but certain issues with diet (not that they aren’t getting what they need, but sometimes they may not be processing it the right way - again, I’m not a vet so I’m only stating that this CAN cause aggression issues). Either way, sudden behavioral change like this deserves a vet visit to be sure, only to make sure he’s processing everything the way he should be, or, in a more serious case, that he isn’t currently in pain.

After your vet visit, try some Feliway diffusers around the home to help encourage a behavioral change. I’ve said before, but these pheromones aren’t an automatic fix. They help allow the cat to be more receptive towards behavioral interventions. If a cat is too stressed, they’re not going to adhere to new rules or schedules as well. The Feliway (or brand of your choosing), will keep the background stress levels down so you can move forward with other training and behavior modifications. It’s basically making sure you’re not working with a brick wall.

Individual playtime is good. Making sure that you give each cat their own time with their favorite toy (feather wands usually help more aggressive or energetic cats get tired out). If you’re able, consider individual walks on a harness while they’re supervised. First taking one, and then the other.

Check outdoors to see if your cat is spotting any outdoor issues. Do you have animal neighbors frequenting your back yard? It’s possible he’s become aggressive from seeing them and not having an outlet for that aggression, so it gets turned against his sister.

As for food, monitoring is one thing, but it’s hard to be sure. The best thing I’ve ever gotten is the SureFeed microchip pet feeder. There are cheaper ones available, yes, but it requires your cat to wear a collar and a tag. The tags can get flipped around, making them unable to read, and causing problems with the flaps opening up to allow them to eat. Easy fix if you’re home all the time. Not so much if you leave for extended periods. I can’t speak for those, however, as I’ve never personally used them. Some people swear they’re great, others swear they’ve had nothing but problems. I personally have an earlier SureFeed bowl for Sif and it’s been easy and consistent. 

https://www.surepetcare.com/en-us/pet-feeder/microchip-pet-feeder

The thing is, if only one cat has an issue, you really only need ONE of these. It does require a microchip (which I would recommend). If that’s not doable, try one of the cheaper options on the market available with the tag. There may be a learning curve of getting your cat used to a collar if they don’t already have one (but in general, stay away from collars with bells on them - while it makes us more aware of the cat’s presence, it can cause some anxiety within the cat, and if he’s already experiencing aggression issues, you don’t want to set him up for failure).

As per the usual, multiple litter, drinking, and eating options will also help.

But as I said - Be absolutely sure to make sure everything is okay with your veterinarian first. All of these suggestions work in a vaccuum - where no other problems are present. If there’s anything that medically would cause aggression, nothing I say is going to help him. If anything, prolonging diagnosis may be detrimental to ever fixing the issue. I know it seems bizarre, but sudden aggression is something we’re taught early on may be caused by an underlying health condition or injury, so it’s imperative to have a veterinarian look at the animal to make absolutely sure that this isn’t the case before going through with any behavioral modification.

[thesafepesticide]

Do Cats Eat Roaches? Do Cats Eat Roaches? Cockroaches are a pest, but killing cockroaches with chemicals or manual traps doesn’t work for everyone. If you want a natural solution, bringing in an animal that hunts cockroaches seems like the ideal solution. Among all the natural options, the most popular is cats. After all, cats have been humanity's go-to pest-killer for centuries. Cats don't shy away from cockroaches. They're mesopredators, more than willing to hunt down and kill these resilient pests. However, cats aren't the best at preventing cockroach infestations. Even though cockroaches are high in protein, they aren't a good food source for cats due to their tough exoskeletons cockroaches. Cockroaches are also carriers of bacteria and parasites that can harm your cat. While cats do not attract cockroaches, you may find cockroaches around their food bowls and litterboxes. These are established food sources for cockroaches, drawing them into your home. The trick is to keep these items clean and stored correctly.

Do Cats Eat Cockroaches?

Cockroaches are prey that cats will actively kill on sight. The scuttle of roaches will trigger a cat's hunting instincts. Does that make cats good cockroach hunters? There have been no scientific studies exploring the efficacy of cats as cockroach deterrents, just as there haven't been on whether dogs will kill cockroaches. However, in place of scientific research, there appears to be anecdotal evidence and personal experience. Cat owners frequently document their pets' habits of playing with cockroaches, dead and alive.

Do Cats Keep Cockroaches Away?

Felines have a long history as a form of pest control. Many breeds of cats are explicitly cultivated for their hunting instinct. The British Journal of Animal Behavior notes a case study about neighboring farm properties. 4 of the five farms had cats for pest control, and one didn't. The farms with cats were almost completely free of pests. Specifically, these included rats and other rodents. That's because some prey animals had learned to avoid a cat's hunting radius. Cockroaches register most creatures more significant than themselves as a threat to be avoided. A persistent cat would deter cockroaches from returning, and this may prevent their population from growing. This is not guaranteed, nor is it as effective as other pest control methods. A cat’s presence may make cockroaches more cautious. They may skulk in the dark or hide where cats cannot reach them.

Can I Make My Cat Get Rid Of Cockroaches?

Cats may deter cockroaches, but this depends on the extent of your infestation. It will also depend on your cat and how well fed it is. Outdoor cats can deter some animals from entering your backyard. Or, if you grow crops or have a vegetable garden, they may deter rodents and birds. Through the consistency of their presence, indoor cats can apply pressure to cockroach populations as well, but can cat get rid of cockroaches entirely? A cat may pounce on cockroaches and occasionally kill one. However, there is no guarantee that a cat will do so. Well-fed domestic cats may have little drive to hunt. A cat may also be inconsistent with killing cockroaches, making it ineffective at getting rid of the pests. Another element to factor in is the size of the infestation. A single cat against an established cockroach population isn’t going to affect the numbers. If you see one cockroach, there’s likely more.

Do Cockroaches Avoid Cats?

Cockroaches are small invertebrates. The main defenses that cockroaches rely on are their:

Agility

Tough exoskeleton

Size

These abilities are some of the reasons why cockroaches are so challenging to get rid of. They squeeze into the smallest spaces and scuttle away at the first sign of danger. As described in Current Biology, anti-predator behavior is vital for most animals and relies heavily on speed and agility. Cockroaches use all of these abilities to avoid anything deemed as a threat, including cats. To what extent cockroaches avoid cats is a mystery. Cockroaches may wait for your house to be quiet before emerging. Or they may avoid the more popular rooms and stick to those mainly left untouched. It is known that cockroaches hide away while they are molting. During this period, they must wait for the fresh shell to harden. This appears to be an ingrained behavior, however. It is not directly correlated with cats but with predator avoidance as a whole.

Why Do Cats Like To Eat Cockroaches?

Ecology and Evolution stated that cats are natural predators of:

Birds

Herpetofauna

Small mammals

Invertebrates

Cockroaches are an invertebrate and a high source of protein. They are a valuable source of nutrition for many other animals, felines included. However, cockroaches are not a preferred food source for cats. A cat may eat a cockroach that it has killed. Equally, it may not. A hungry cat may eat its prey. In contrast, a well-fed cat with a food source constantly available may only treat a cockroach as a toy. Young cats or curious cats may chew on and eat a cockroach out of curiosity more than hunger.

Are Cockroaches Safe for Cats To Eat?

Cockroaches may be a good source of protein. However, these nutrients do not come without risks. Cockroaches are a potential hazard to your cat. The tough exoskeleton that forms a cockroach's natural defense can be a hazard. As can the parasites cockroaches are known to carry. That's not even accounting for pest poisons or bacteria. Roaches are not ideal for cats to eat. There is no way to track where the pest has been or what it has been exposed to. Beyond that, the pest is difficult for the cat to digest, which only adds to the risk factor. That said, a cat eating a cockroach or two isn't a cause for alarm. Unless you know it was exposed to poisons; your cat should survive eating 1-2 cockroaches without a problem.

Choking Hazard

A cockroach's exoskeleton poses a choking hazard to cats. Even if chewed up, shards of this shell can become lodged in the cat's throat. Aside from being uncomfortable, this can choke the cat. It can also choke the next time it eats or coughs up a hairball. The shards may also cause injuries or lacerations to a cat's throat. Larger cockroaches can block a cat's throat. Cats are not able to grind a cockroach's shell into small, non-hazardous pieces before swallowing. As such, they are unable to mitigate this particular risk, unlike other animals that eat cockroaches. The shell can also cause oral irritation. Given the drains and garbage cockroaches often crawl through, they can be covered in undesirable bacteria. It just takes a small cut, and a few days later, your cat can have an oral infection.

Indigestible

Aside from being a choking hazard, a cockroach's shell is largely indigestible. The cat's digestive juices could attempt to break down the shell. However, larger pieces will remain mostly intact. This is why your cat may vomit up bits of the cockroach it ate earlier. You may also find bits of shell in its litterbox. Unlike other animals, cats are not able to grind up their food. Likewise, they cannot find workarounds like gastroliths and gizzard stones. Because of this, anything that the teeth and digestive acids can't break down will pass through its system, primarily whole. Any indigestible matter that passes through an animal's digestive tract can potentially cause a blockage. This leads to several health problems, which can be severe if left untreated. It may result in surgery or medical treatment.

Poison

Cockroaches are non-venomous. They do have a mildly painful bite, which can cause some swelling and irritation. Still, Venom isn't a concern, which will be a relief to many. However, cockroaches are an invasive pest in a lot of households and are treated as such. Lots of people have turned to chemical deterrents and poisons for culling these pests. Eating a contaminated cockroach can make a cat ill. If the cat is young, old, or already unwell, exposure to a harmful solution can require a vet visit. Some pest control chemicals claim to be non-toxic to pets. However, directly ingesting the poison can still cause issues. A cat that smells the poison or cleans it off its paw may be fine. However, eating a full cockroach that has been dowsed, killed, or otherwise tainted by the poison can be detrimental to their system. The results may include:

Irritation of the mouth, throat, or stomach

Toxicosis

Digestive distress

Parasites And Bacteria

People may find cockroaches gross and unsightly. However, their main danger to the average home is the bacteria they carry. This has, of course, led to the opinion that cockroaches are unclean or disease-ridden. To an extent, they can be. The cockroach is not naturally unclean and do clean themselves. However, these pests will scuttle through rotten food, compost, garbage bins, fecal matter, and other unpleasant things. This coats the roaches in bacteria. Eating such an insect isn't just exposing your cat to the bug itself. The cat is ingesting trace elements of everywhere that insect has been. This can cause stomach upset for the cat, at the least. Diarrhea That’s why it’s important to keep our homes and food free of cockroaches. They pose a threat to public health. Parasite Epidemiology and Control found that cockroaches carried multiple parasites. The most prevalent of which was hookworm, found in 74% of specimens caught for the study. In a cat, signs of hookworm infestation can manifest as:

Loss of weight

Internal bleeding or eventual anemia

Death

This is especially true in kittens. In the U.S., such parasites are still common. The odds of your cat becoming infected through eating a cockroach are high. It's important to keep up with its deworming schedule.

Why Do Cats Play with Cockroaches? Can cats eat cockroaches?

Your parents likely told you not to play with your food. Cats have no such scruples. It is a natural behavior for cats to play with living, dying, and dead cockroaches. A cat may:

Bat it around

Bap at it with its paws

Flick it up into the air at random

In a way, this is hunting behavior. To minimize the risk of injury, cats use a strategy to tire out their prey by playing with it. An exhausted prey animal is less likely to strikeout. Or, its strike won't be as likely to cause injury. A domestic cat may continue to play with its prey once it's dead, as it does not need to eat it. This may result in the insect getting broken up into many pieces. When scattered around your home, this not only creates a mess. It can spread the parasites or bacteria that were present on the cockroach. Cats, by nature, are also quite playful. The quick, scuttling movements of a cockroach will trigger a cat's instincts to play and pounce. A lot of play behavior in cats is instinctual hunting behavior. This is why cats play with cockroaches.

My Cat Keeps Bringing Me Dead Cockroaches

If your cat brings you dead or near-dead cockroaches, it isn't telling you that you have a pest problem. It's a good indication of one, but it's not the main point. Instead, this is your cat trying to teach you to be a better hunter. A mother cat teaches her kittens to hunt by bringing them weakened prey. Your cat thinks you're a terrible hunter and is trying to help in its way. Cats also drag their kills back to a safe place to eat them. If your cat is an outdoor cat, it may not be catching them on your property. If you want your cat to stop, this isn't a habit you can train out. Instead, you should limit the access it has to cockroaches. For indoor cats, this can mean seeking out other pest-control methods. It could involve keeping them inside for outdoor cats so that they can't hunt in the wild.

Should I Take Cockroaches from My Cat?

Whether your cat is playing, actively hunting, or bringing you a gift, you have a choice. Do you let the cat keep the cockroach (which it’s earned), or do you take it away? As mentioned, the greatest danger of cockroaches is their contaminated shells and their hard exoskeleton. So, there's no harm in letting your cat play with a bird. However, your cat may be harmed if it's allowed to ingest a cockroach. Your cat may appear to bat it around with no intention to eat it. Since you can't tell when the cat will change its mind, it's recommended to err on the side of caution. Go ahead and take away the toy, but reward it for hunting down a pest. This can involve petting the cat, giving it an ordinary cat treat, and showering it with praise.

Are Some Cat Breeds Better Cockroach Hunters Than Others?

Cats have been selectively bred throughout the centuries. The goal has always been to enhance many traits, but mainly their pest-control abilities. You'll find certain cat breeds are better pest-hunters than others. However, this mainly concerns mice, not cockroaches. As mentioned, cats aren't used as cockroach hunters historically or in professional settings. Nonetheless, if you want a cat that will fend off cockroaches, where do you look? You can pick from the top mousing breeds. Here, you’ll find the same instincts cultivated to kill mice translating to cockroach-hunting. For instance:

Dexterity – To catch small pests prone to scuttling into small spaces.

Speed – For pests that are smaller and more nimble.

Quick reaction time – Roaches and mice alike are good hiders, only revealing themselves with a quick scurrying movement.

Persistent hunting instinct – Meaning they won’t give up until the pest is dead.

What breeds have the best mousing traits that crossover into cockroach-hunting? These include:

Persians

Chartreux

American Shorthairs

Burmese

Turkish Angora

Maine Coons

Manx

Siberian

Japanese Bobtail

Siamese

Do Cats Attract Cockroaches?

Cats themselves do not attract cockroaches. However, their food and litterboxes can if they aren’t cleaned regularly. Cockroaches are attracted to reliable food sources. Cat food bowls and litterboxes are:

Out in the open

Often left unattended

Tucked away where there is little foot traffic

This makes them prime food sources for cockroaches. Storing cat food in non-air-tight containers also attracts cockroaches. Flimsy storage bags can rot or be chewed through, spilling their contents for all manner of pests.

How To Keep Cockroaches Away from Cats

To avoid attracting cockroaches, always ensure that your cat's food dishes are clean of leftover food. If you leave dry food out during the day, consider giving your cat smaller portions in the morning and night instead. In this way, the cat eats all of the food in a short space of time. It won't accidentally provide leftovers for pests. Likewise, make sure that the cat's food is stored in proper containers. Aside from keeping the food fresher for longer, it prevents cockroaches from scenting out the food. As for the litter, try a crystal litter (which is inedible for cockroaches) or increasing the frequency with which it is cleaned.

Do Cats Deter Cockroaches?

Cockroaches will flee and hide from anything deemed a threat. That includes most things larger than they are. If your cat actively hunts and kills any cockroaches it comes across, it may scare others away. However, if there is a reliable food source, the pests will be harder to eliminate permanently. Controlling pests usually means depriving them of a home and food. As good as cats are at killing cockroaches, there are safer and more effective methods of cockroach population control. Keep sharing Do Cats Eat Roaches? with your friends and family members. Read More: https://thesafepesticide.com/do-cats-eat-roaches/?feed_id=66&_unique_id=61136f05a7629

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Emotional

This last week has been straight up turmoil for me and I apologize for the way I've felt while trying to organize my cabinet of emotions. I haven't spoken on anything that I said this blog would be directed at and I am truly not satisfied with that. Let's talk pet treats! I spent a minimum of $50 a month on pet treats because I love my pets and I feel more gratification when they enjoy something rather than to get something for myself. I use to be content with buying clothes and whatever else but as I age, I find myself just less and less concerned with material things. I've never been one for them anyway. I would never spend more than 15 dollars on a shirt and I usually shop at thrifts because I've always been in love with vintage. I digress. I only buy single ingredient treats, usually freeze dried but sometimes, I'll get dry. I only purchase pet treats from the USA or Canada. Even if that product is sourced in the USA, and processed anywhere else, I still can't feel wholesome about it. I am extremely picky when it comes to my pets and I will not let companies make decisions for me with their marketing. Pets die at the hands of irresponsibility and it's disgusting. I trust my due diligence to make decisions for my pets because they don't know any better. For example, any fillers like glycerin, molasses, rosemary extract, all that makes me very unhappy. Made with 100% chicken but then if you don't read the fine print, you end up with something that contains chicken but not in its 100% form. I love single ingredient pet treats because its how food should be sourced. Why would you get ingredients from here there and everywhere just to save money on a product that you're probably making a 300% return on since pet treats usually come in smaller volume. It doesn't make sense to outsource a million ingredients to create the holy grail of pet treats and pet food for that matter. There are so many ingredients in plain view that are downright sickening and only used to increase profitability. Why would I want something as far from natural as possible? We are being misconstrued to trust companies who intentionally have no heart and soul for their own product. This is something we must understand. We should support local, farmers, and companies that have a clear mission to enrich and contribute. Quite the opposite from the company who owns all many brands and hides behind all of them and then try to convince you that they're a small time company trying to do the right thing. I believe in extensive research. I believe in checking track records and determining if it can be trusted. Shopping is an emotional thing and we should keep in mind that a better product will cost more and that's what it is. You can't haggle quality, there's no comparison. Did you know that raw hide is made with glue and paint? It's not digestible, it will kill your family pet. It's also extremely cheap and sourced from China whose products kill pets like its common place. Purchase a wholesome dog treat and save yourself the vet trip and heart ache. Do right by your pets and research the fuck out of what you're letting them consume. When in doubt, go to the super market and buy them some real meat products like the ones you eat yourself. I don't eat meat but I do go out of my way to find the best quality meats for my pets. Bake the meat at 165 degrees to kill surface parasites and aim for a 20-50% cook. Store the meat in the fridge for no more than 3 days. Freeze the meat and put it in treat balls for your dog. This is what I do and I have never had my dog get sick or need an emergency life saving surgery or so much as a vet visit. Do things from purpose and love and it will be better rewarded than to pick up some processed, non caring and toxic bag of treats and food from the dusty shelf. I've been making my own pet food for 10 years, it was my childhood cat's legacy and it continues to be for my cats now. I can't take credit for it because I'm not a vet and I didn't develop it. I owe everything in pet nutrition to Dr Lisa Pierson at catinfo.org. Once I

stumbled on that website, there was no turning back. There is so much we can learn from someone who cares more than anyone in the industry. Someone who cares has a different kind of aura which is unmatched and can't be compared to someone who has companies in their pockets looking to rummage through yours and that's their ultimate purpose. For someone like Dr. Lisa Pierson, you can most certainly tell that her work and her dedication is life changing and it has changed my life and have opened my eyes to so much. I'm done for now. Time to get some pet treats for my baby pies.

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Emergency Vet Visit/CATastrophe || Happy New Year

Had to take my handsome boi cat, Tyson, to an emergency vet today (they were practically the only place open) after finding him hiding from the world and walking with a bad limp last night and have spent practically all of New Year’s Eve so far worrying and crying.

He’s doing alright and I get to take him home for tonight, so at least he’ll get to ring in the new year with his family, but his road to recovery may involve surgery... and... It’s nothing too serious but... Well, I’m trying not to think that far ahead.

For now, I’m saving my wonderful, stinky, loving, talkative boy Tyson from the vet after bringing him in at 9am and I am going to cuddle him as much as his woozy little noggin and kitty-splint will allow and wish you all a happy New Year.

Hope ringing in 2018 has gone smoother for you that it has for me and Tyson today!

Update:

Precious boy is home!