#had to run errands with my mom earlier and she started talking about. my problems n shit and was just like

[absolutelyzoned]

do you guys ever try to get help and then just end up feeling even worse about yourself

[mythiccheroacademia]

—lunch box

A/N: just another cute idea i had because i’m obsessed with barbarian/dragon king!bakugo and fantasy shit in general. some context: you and bakugo are betrothed—although, sometimes you wish you weren’t bc he can be a real asshole. luckily for you, he’s willing to work on it bc he likes loves you just that much. a litte angst (it wouldn’t be a mtha story without it) but it ends in fluff <3

Warnings: cursing

Your friends looked at their food with heart eyes and dug into the neatly wrapped box with fever.

“Ahh! Thank you for making this, Y/N!” one of them exclaimed. The other could only nod in agreement, too into your cooking to speak.

You smiled and waved them off. “It was nothing. Consider it a thank you for letting me copy the homework last night,” you chuckled.

“Did you cook one for Prince Bakugo? I’d imagine he’d love it! If there’s anyone’s cooking he loves more than his own, it’s yours!”

At the mention of his name, your expression fell. You looked down at the case of food you had prepared for him as an apology.

Four days ago, you two were hanging around his residence. You managed to get him to dance around with you. Well, it more like you were dancing and he was doing his best not to combust in embarrassment. Katsuki warned you that you shouldn’t be too reckless otherwise you’d break something.

Of course, you paid him no mind, too enthralled with your fun to notice your proximity to a nearby statue—one of the Bakugo family’s treasures.

One thing led to another, and you knocked it over, shattering it before either of you could even react. Your rich skin lost its glow and your boyfriend cursed something nasty.

Least to say, his parents were not happy. But instead of being rightfully scolded, Bakugo had taken the blame for it.

They found him attempting to clean it up and assumed it was his fault. You wanted to correct them, but he threw you a nasty glare, sealing your mouth shut. He was now under punishment until they deemed fit and from then on, he hadn't spoken a friendly word to you.

A little sigh escaped your lips. Your two friends looked at each other before offering you encouraging smiles.

“Hey,” one spoke, placing a hand on your knee. You met her gaze. “You should go give it to him. He’d love it.”

There was a moment of silence before you decided to act. Taking the spur of confidence, you stood up and briskly made your way to the other classroom. Just before you entered, you heard his voice and felt your heart waver with anxiousness.

However, now wasn’t the time to let doubt consume you. Things wouldn’t get better until something was done.

You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, before opening the door and walking in. Your eyes scanned the room and found the young dragon prince amongst his group of friends.

Jaw set, you walked over to them, hands firmly around the packaged food.

Kirishima saw you first and gave you a friendly wave.

“Hey Princess L/N!”

“Hi boys! How’re ya doing?” you politely asked, putting on your best smile.

They gave you an upbeat answer that lifted your spirits.

Despite that, you hadn't heard a response from Bakugo. In fact, he hadn't even looked at you—but you wouldn’t be disheartened. You fueled herself with faux confidence and held out the dish to your betrothed.

“I-I made you something small yesterday, as an apology,” you stuttered.

Katsuki finally looked up, indifference in his stare. Ruby eyes flickered down to the box filled with rice, chicken, vegetables, and a small pastry on the side. His favorite kind. For a moment, he seemed like considered your offer, but you suffered the low blow of humiliation when he turned away to look through the window.

“Thanks, but I’ve already eaten. Should’ve given it to me earlier.”

Something in your stomach fell. Crushing rejection blossomed up your throat with each passing second. His words were cold, harsh, and unforgiving. It might’ve been stupid, overdramatic even, but it hurt.

Heartbroken wasn’t even the word.

Your nose burned, eyes blurring before you could stop it. Your chest tightened with embarrassment. Luckily, you mustered enough strength to hold in whatever was threatening to crumble you.

“Oh,” you dumbly responded.

“I’ll take it!” Kaminari excitedly said.

“No, I will! I’m still starving!” Kirishima chided.

You placed the box down, struggling to keep up your act.

“Split it between the both of you. I hope it’s good!” You internally winced over how high your voice had become. “I’m gonna to get going now. I’ll see you guys after school, yeah?”

And before anything else was said, you bolted straight out of the room. You hadn’t bothered to look at Katsuki. Knowing him, he probably hadn't noticed the strain in your voice.

As soon as you were out of sight, the tears flooded. You held your hands against your mouth, desperate to muffle your cries. You quickly took you into the nearest bathroom and you prayed no one had seen you lest there be questions. If you went to your friends, it’d cause a commotion. Your parents would eventually find out and you didn’t want any more problems.

So, you cried your eyes raw and eventually willed yourself to stop when it was time to return to class.

…

The week had gone by without another interaction. The weekend brought you some relief since you wouldn’t be forced to see Katsuki’s face for the time being. Or so you thought.

All you wanted to do was run some errands for your parents and then go back home and continue sulking. Yet the universe would not let you rest.

The moment you caught Bakugo’s eyes, you pivoted on your heel and booked it the other way. You assumed his anger with you would force him to keep his distance.

But you were thoroughly surprised to find he was following after you.

“Y/N,” he called.

Irritation and hurt filled your chest. You only walked faster, clutching the purse against her chest.

“Y/N, stop,” he demanded to which you promptly ignored.

This went on for a good thirty seconds until Bakugo decided he had enough. Without much noise, he ran up to you, grabbing you by the shoulder.

You weren’t having it.

You harshly shrugged off his hand. “Don’t touch me,” you snapped, keeping your eyes forward.

“I need to talk to you,” Katsuki grumbled.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you. So maybe some other time.”

Truthfully, the crowned prince found himself shocked at your coldness. Despite your innate boldness, he wasn’t used to such an icy tone. Especially directed at him.

His father warned him to never attack in these situations, but Bakugo let his temper get the best of him. His first reaction was to frown and deal back harsher words.

“What’s your fucking problem, dumbass? When I say stop, stop!”

A spike of anger flooded your veins. You whirled around on your heel and glared at him with frosty eyes. You felt compelled to drop your papers and slap him, but instead, you settled for a finger in his face.

“First of all, I’m not some dog you can just order around, you jerk! And just because we’re betrothed doesn’t mean I’m some girl you can treat like dirt whenever you feel like it! Until you apologize, leave me alone because my only problem right now is you. Bye.”

And just as quickly as you came, you turned to leave.

Now Bakugo was actually stunned. Forget, cold, this was a side of you he hadn't ever experienced. Admittedly, he hadn’t been spoken to like that from anyone besides his mother—and she only got away with it because she was not only the queen…but he was his mom.

Katsuki honestly didn’t know how to handle it. It was only then that he concentrated back on his father’s advice. Whenever his mother was upset with his dad, his father would fight back, but never with emotional anger. Always with humbleness and an understanding tongue.

It usually did the trick considering his mother could never stay upset with him for more than a night. It always struck the teen with hidden awe. Sometimes, Katsuki thought his dad was an angel.

Bakugo was no angel, but he hoped it’d have the same affect on you.

The blonde teen softened his face and walked up behind you. He stopped you, wrapping his arms around your waist to lie his forehead against the decorated braids the fell down your back.

“Damn it. I’m sorry okay?” he lowly said, face burning from such a public display of affection. “Just hear me out.”

You didn’t speak and he clenched his jaw.

“Please.”

You inwardly cursed your rapidly beating heart. If it weren’t for how stupidly nice being in his arms was (he was definitely working out more), and the fact that you found him kinda cute begging for your permission, maybe you wouldn’t have caved in so easily.

For now, you’d blame it on the fact that you two were destined to wed. It was better to start dealing with fights now so, hopefully, the future held less of them.

You heaved a sigh, unwillingly ignoring your body’s urge to curl in his arms. Instead, you pulled away and turned to face him. You peered into unsure crimson eyes with as much harshness you could conjure.

“Fine. Speak,” you permitted.

There was a small pause as he gathered his thoughts. When he opened his mouth, you instantly regretted it.

“I’m still mad at you for being dumb and breaking one of family’s treasures. And I’m still fucking pissed that my old hag is on my ass about it,” he started and noticed how your eyes narrowed in contempt.

You were about to turn away, thinking this was a waste of time. However, Bakugo took a hold of your wrist before you could leave.

“Leave me alone! If you didn’t want to get in trouble, you should’ve just let me take the blame. I can't believe I thought you’d apologize—“

“Let me finish, princess.”

It was your title, yet you felt your stomach flip when it came from his lips. You refused to let it influence you…but you’d give him another chance.

Bakugo stepped closer to you. “I’m upset, but I took the punishment because I wanted to. You didn’t mean to break it. Accidents happen, I understand that.”

There was a pregnant pause. Then, you softened your gaze a bit, eyes still lit with inquiry. “Why? Why would you do that if it meant getting in trouble? I could’ve taken the blame just fine.”

“Y/N, you freak the fuck out whenever you don’t get a perfect score on an exam. You try not to mess up and when you do, it’s like the world is ending,” he explained with a teasing smirk. You ungracefully snorted. He had a point. “When you broke the vase, I could hear your heart drop. You were two seconds away from crying. And when I saw how scared you looked I just—I don’t know.”

The look on your face was something between shock, surprise, and wonder. You blinked, thick lips parting slightly in awe.

“Katsuki…” you breathed to which the boy heavily blushed. Realizing how sappy he sounded, his mind screamed at him to cut it out.

Bakugo looked down and noticed he was still holding your wrist. He quickly let go and instinctively rubbed the nape of his neck.

“D-don’t be dramatic. I just didn’t wanna see you moping around or some shit. My father said that it wasn’t that important anyway…the vase I mean,” he mumbled.

Sure it wasn’t, you thought. What were you gonna do with this boy?

You supposed an apology was a good start.

“That was very nice and admirable of you Katsuki. Thank you,” you eventually said. “I’m still really sorry about the vase, and for being mean to you just now.”

He shook his head. “I know, but I’m the one that should be apologizing. I ain’t hafta treat you the way I did. I was being an ass for not accepting the food you made for me earlier.”

“Yeah you were, ya bastard.”

He chuckled at that. “The two idiots wouldn’t stop raving over how good it was.”

“Well, I had the best teacher in the kingdom,” you grinned.

“And I had an even better student,” he winked.

Your smile widened. Maybe marrying him wouldn’t be so bad.

You couldn’t help yourself when you heartily embraced him, enjoying how his arms slowly slithered around the small of your back. Your eyes met and you kissed him on the lips, leaving him with a little gasp. You pulled away and giggled under your breath.

“You know, you're a sweet guy underneath all that false bravado.”

“False brav—what the hell are you going on about!?”

Ignoring his explosive behavior, you readjusted the straps on your shoulder before turning on your heel.

“Don’t bring anything for lunch on Monday, okay? I’ll see you later, blondie.”

Despite his little tantrum, Bakugo still watched you disappear into the store with a gentle expression. You gave him more headaches than he cared for, but you were worth it. Besides, he was sure you could say the same for him.

Bakugo turned to leave and passed his fingertips over where your lips touched his own.

He’d never admit to the giddiness in his chest. He’d take that shit to the grave.

[barkkletshunt]

Those Worth Fighting For Part eight

I feel like I’m really pushing out these parts right now lol It’s been so long since I’ve had a few days off to work on this. I hope you like it! 

Part one             Part two

Part three           Part four

Part five             Part six

Part seven         Bonus scene 1

Part eight (You’re here)

Taglist: 

@ladybug-182 @fruit-snacc-ace @miraculous-simmer7 @lavenderjunes @use-flamethrower @fan-written @all-mights-asscheeks @birdie-posts

Marinette looked over her pajamas, wondering why she thought having a pajama date as one of their first dates was a good idea. It was her idea and she wasn’t going to go back on it, but oh God why didn’t she own any cute pajamas? 

“Marinette, I thought you wanted to have a laid back date? Why are you stressing out about your outfit?” Tikki knew Marinette better than anyone else, but even she had a hard time understanding her current holders mind sometimes. “Why not wear your comfiest pajamas?”

The blue haired girl looked over to the pajamas she had worn the night before, the comfiest pajamas she owned, and sized up the hot chocolate stains and the tear on the left leg from when she got it caught on the balcony bar. She meant to fix it, but with school and her other projects as MDC the PJ’s were put on the backburner. “Yeah, no, that’s not happening. I’m still trying to impress him.”

“Then what about the set your Grandfather bought you for christmas?” Tikki asked, floating above Marinette’s shoulder to look at the silk pin striped PJ’s. “Those are impressive!”

“But they’re too impressive. It won’t look natural and it will come across as I’m trying too hard.” The woman began biting at her lip, looking over the other pairs of pajamas she owned. “What if I wore the pair Chat Noir bought me? They are comfortable, kinda cute, and they come with slippers to match.”

“The Ladybug ones?” Tikki thought it over for a moment. “They are nice without being too nice, and comfortable without being overworn. I think they’re a good bet!”

Marinette changed into the pajamas her former hero partner had given her, and tucked her feet into the boot slippers that matched. Although they were too big for her as a teen they now fit her perfectly now that her body looked more like her body as a heroine. She was taller now, and from constant training with her mother and Kagami her muscles had grown strong and resilient. She still couldn’t leap from building to building as a civilian, but she could certainly hold her own when it came to freerunning and parkour. 

“I wonder what he’s going to wear,” she said absentmindedly to her kwami as she changed, stripping off her school clothes and hopping into the pajama pants successfully without falling over. “Something flashy, I’m sure.”

“Maybe he has normal pajamas and is worried you’ll think he isn’t as fancy?

“Ha, I wish. He’s fancy through and through.” Marinette laughed, pulling the shirt over her head. “Maybe I can convince him to dress like a normal person like the rest of us mere mortals. He’d look really good in a turtleneck.”

She looked herself over in the mirror and sighed. She looked too much like Ladybug for her own comfort. While they were the perfect level of baggy, and the colour was slightly off from her actual suit, having red pants with black polka dots made her take a second look at herself. 

The shirt was white, with a pun on it, with red sleeves that matched the pants, and even the booties matched the ladybug pattern to tie everything together. She either looked like someone who absolutely loved Ladybug, or Ladybug herself trying to throw off someone's scent by pretending to be a die hard fan. Either way, she needed to change.

Knock, knock, knock.

Or she would change if Felix wasn’t so damned punctual.

Marinette grabbed her coat and the baked goods she got from her parents earlier and headed towards the door. On the other side was Felix, looking as handsome as ever. She could see baggy track pants underneath his black trench coat, but none of that mattered the second he leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on the top of her head.

“I brought you coffee.” His voice was soft, as if worried saying anything would stop the butterflies that began to flutter in her stomach. “Are you alright with pizza tonight? I was running errands all day and I didn’t have a chance to pick anything up to cook.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, feeling him stiffen for just a moment before returning the affectionate gesture. It wasn’t the first time she had hugged him since reuniting with the blond, but it was the first hug she had given him that she allowed herself to savour. 

She could feel his back muscles through his thin coat, and wondered briefly what he did to make them so defined. In his suits it was hard to tell how muscular he was, but from the hold he had on her she figured he was a lot stronger than he looked.

It was just a simple hug, but he held her like he was afraid to let her go. Maybe it was just her mind going haywire from how good the man before her smelt, like fresh soap and coffee. It was warm and clean and she loved it. 

The hug was over too soon and both parties let go with mild embarrassment at how much they enjoyed it. They looked at the walls and the floors, anything not to meet each other's gaze until they finally did. Neither could help the laughter that bubbled from their lips at seeing how the other felt the same way. It was easy and light being with him, and she wondered if that was how the starting of love was supposed to be. 

“So, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, are you ready to go back to my temporary Parisian home with my cousin and his fiancee and look over the seating placements?” Felix asked, trying to regain his air of formality but failing as his smile kept returning. He offered his arm to her, finally giving up on hiding his giddiness at their first official date. “And start preparing the invitations to what I assume is half of France itself?”

“Why, Felix!” She giggled, taking his arm and walking down the hallway of her apartment building with him. “I thought you’d never ask!”

Felix was a gentleman. This was an irrefutable fact. He took the bag of baked goods from her to carry it himself, he opened the car door for her and waited until she was in and buckled before closing the door and getting in on his side. He made sure to get out of the car first to hold her door open for her again, and did the same at the front door of the house. It didn’t even seem like he was trying to impress her, it was just his natural habits. 

“Fel! Mari! Good timing!” Adrien’s voice called to them the second they were in the house, before Felix had a chance to take her coat and hang it up. “We’re in the living room.”

The two looked at each other, their confusion etched upon their faces. 

“Well, better get this over with.” Felix sighed, slowly unbuttoning his coat and taking it off. Revealing the black t-shirt underneath with the design of a suit printed on the chest. She wanted to laugh. Of course, how did she not think of it? This way he could still wear a suit to bed! “Oh, it gets better. I have a matching pair of slippers to yours.” 

As Felix reached into the closet to put his coat away, he pulled out a pair of familiar looking slippers. She hadn’t seen them before, but she had seen up close where the design came from. The slippers Felix put on resembled Chat Noir’s boots. Without planning it out ahead of time the two of them matched. No wonder they liked each other so much.

When they made their way to the living room, with a slight detour to the kitchen to set down the pizza and the baked goods, they saw Kagami and Adrien sitting on one of the sofa’s dressed like they came right out of a 90’s parent teacher conference. Kagami wore a blouse Marinette was sure she had never seen on her friend before, and Adrien wore a dress shirt with a sweater vest over it. They both had glasses on, and she knew for a fact neither of them needed glasses. 

Adrien looked at Marinette and seemed to freeze for a moment before returning to his disappointed face. 

“What’s going on?” She began to ask, but the two crossed their arms and nodded towards the couch across from them. 

Marinette and Felix sat down, looking confused as ever. 

“Marinette, darling, we need to talk.” Kagami started, her monotone voice not matching her words. “We were informed today about something that shocked us to our core.”

“We’re not mad that you didn’t tell us,” Adrien continued, nodding along. Marinette noticed the model was wearing a fake mustache. “Just disappointed.”

“And what, prey tell, was I supposed to tell you?” She wanted to laugh. She knew their game, she knew exactly what they were playing at. It didn’t make it any less hilarious to her. 

“And Felix, I expected better from you than withholding secrets from me.” Adrien fake cried onto Kagami’s shoulder, who only patted his back in an attempt to soothe him.

“It’s okay dear, as her father I will handle this.” Kagami whispered.

“I thought I was the father, that’s why I’m wearing the mustache.” Adrien lifted his head.

“You’re the emotional mother who doesn’t know how to handle her daughter's secret life, and I’m the father who will be stern but also loves his wife despite the facial hair because you have a beautiful spirit.” Kagami stated. 

“You’d be a great dad.”

“I already am.” Kagami adjusted herself. “Marinette, how could you not tell us you were dating Felix?”

Felix stared at his cousin and his fiancee. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Had Adrien always been this goofy? Had Kagami?

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry, it’s still new. This is our first date.” Marinette leaned forward and grabbed Kagami’s hand. Felix groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. If he wasn’t already smitten with the blue haired woman, he was sure he’d fall for her again right then and there. His cousin and his soon to be wife, correction, his family loved Marinette so much that they had these silly little jokes and the woman had no problem playing along. She was every bit of the family already and if they were that protective of her then he knew he was falling for the right girl. 

“First date so far, but thankfully you two have given us enough excuses to spend time together that we’re bound to have more dates in the future.” Felix nudged Marinette lightly with his elbow. “Maybe we’ll even, gasp, become a serious relationship and rival your fame.”

“You will if Alya has anything to say about it.” Kagami mumbled. 

“What?” Marinette squinted at her friend, but Kagami shook her head and refused to answer. 

“Well, do I need to grab my sword and threaten you not to hurt my daughter?” Kagami asked Felix, all joking leaving her. 

“No worries, Ma’am, er, sir? I will treat Marinette with the utmost respect.” Felix gave a salute to the Japanese woman. “Now can we go and finish our mission of preparing the invitations to your wedding? While we may be dressed for night time, we aren’t planning on working all night.”

“Speaking of how you’re dressed,” Adrien’s voice wavered for a second. “Marinette, where did you get those pajamas?”

She looked down at herself. How was she supposed to say that the former black cat of Paris gave them to her alter ego self for Christmas? She wasn’t. “A friend got them for me, I’m not sure where he bought them from. Why? Are you jealous?”

Adrien laughed, but it almost sounded forced. “You got me. I wanted them, but oh well.”

Kagami looked at her fiance who just waved her off.

“Well, those pajamas look good on you, M’lady.” Adrien stood up and offered his hand to Kagami who took it and followed his lead. “We’re going to go spar for a bit. Let me know if you two want to join us!”

M’Lady? When had Adrien ever called her that? 

“Well Miss. Bug, shall we be off?” Felix’s voice snapped her out of her train of thought, and then immediately threw her down another hole of questioning. Did he just call her Miss. Bug? The same way that Alley Cat did? Was it just her pajamas making the two blonds act this way, or was there more to the story? God, she was beginning to sound like Alya. 

“Pizza first, invitations second, and third movie time! Sounds good?”

“Anything sounds good if you say it.”

Marinette’s cheeks burned. With all thoughts of Chat Noir and Alley Cat forgotten, the two of them left to the kitchen.

[savoies]

i don't know you yet - anthony beauvillier.

summary: soulmates. they exist right? y/n and tito live their daily lives doing activities thinking if the right person will ever come.

word count: 2k.

warnings: maybe a few bad words. hopefully angst. 

a/n: i think this might be my first "angst" so please let me know what you think. i am so proud of this work and honestly probably one of my bests. loosely inspired by idk yet by alexander 23. thank you so much to @puckbuddies for all the help, love ya!

taglist + tagging a few folks: @quintnsbyfield @vincecdunn @bigboigritty @ana-maa @puckshitbitch @alxvlasic @stfukie @laurenairay @damn-dunner-29 @kaitieskidmore1 @thelionkingpw @aria253264 @hartsyhart @boesxr @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @teenagekook @barzysthighs

tagging some lovely folks: @laurenairay @konecny-s @bestestbenn @vinceduhn @folkloreflyers .

(*credit to gif owner.*)

Many people imagine their dream person or think of the person they want to date or marry from a young age. Y/N remembered going to sleepovers and her friends talking about how they wanted a boyfriend with blue eyes and blonde hair or brown hair and brown eyes. But when Y/N's turn came around she always said the same thing "I don't care what they look like as long as they are the right person for me." And that's when the game would end. Because twelve year olds could not fathom that everyone had their person and at some point they'd meet and everything would work out. Her mindset was set as growing up her mom would always tell her the same story. When I met your dad I just knew she'd say.

Tito had dated his fair share of girls. Blonde, brown haired, a red head, and a spontaneous colored haired girl here and there. But none caught his attention. Not that they weren't pretty or anything but Tito was not really one to date and dump. He liked forming connections and really getting to know them. But being a hockey player was not really quite helpful. They'd be invited to a party here and there and of course Mat begged Tito to go with him because he needed a wingman and Tito could not really say no to his best friend.

~~~~

Y/N had believed she had met her special person her second year into college. A tall lanky boy with brown hair. They had both met in the library when they reached for the same book. Might seem cheesy but she took it as a hint. After "considently" bumping into eachother in the library many more times he had asked her out. Most of their dates were pretty basic just like her. Maybe that's why she enjoyed them so much. Two years. Two years is how long she dated him for. But sadly people fall out of love. She had heard about that happening only in movies. Never really thinking that it could happen to her. But then she heard some of the worst words anyone could ever hear. "I don't love you anymore." 

Her heart was sad. Her first real relationship. Who she believed was the one. But she understood. This wasn't her fairytale. But she was broken. Her still being in love. Thoughts invading her mind. What did she do wrong? What could she have done better? So after that it took her time to open up again, to bring those walls down to handsome looking strangers. She wasn't one just to date for fun. So she rarely did bring them down. Sometimes she'd sit in her dark room late at night letting her thoughts consume her. How maybe she'd never find the one, how she was unlovable, how she had way too high of expectations to believe there was someone for everyone. 

~~~~~

Every Monday morning Y/N would go to the same coffee shop and get the same order, a medium coffee with sugar and cream. To her it was a nice way to start the week. She had been doing it since she moved to Brooklyn in 2016. 

Tito had been begging Mat to go with him to this coffee shop in Brooklyn that apparently had great coffee. Tito was what you could call a food and drinks connoisseur. Having cooked many times for his teammates and best friend.

" Come on Mat, Grace and Anders said it the best they've had and they've lived here much longer than us. Plus you owe me for getting you that girls number last week, don't forget to call her." Tito wasn't one to get acquainted with Mat's hookups but he did feel bad when the next morning Mat was kicking them out before sunrise.

Mat finally agreed and here they were on a Monday morning way too early for Mat's liking for a straight black coffee that was "rich in flavor" according to Tito. It was quite busy for it being Monday but they patiently waited in line.

Y/N gathered her stuff and exited the crowded coffee shop, careful not to bump into anyone and headed her way to work.

After waiting for about fifteen minutes they ordered two medium coffees and headed out to the busy New York streets.

She had walked about ten minutes away from the coffee shop before she realized that she forgot her phone. Y/N checked her watch and noticed that if she was gonna make it on time she had only five minutes to retrieve her phone. So she quickly but carefully dogged through people as she made her way back to the coffee shop.

Tito and Mat were casually walking back to the car having parked it a few blocks down when they saw someone running their way. Tito wasn't paying much attention due to savoring his cup of coffee which to him was totally worth the twenty minute drive and six dollars.

"Dude she's hot." Mat turned around and checked out the girl that somewhat seemed like she was running away from something instead of for something. 

"Mat that's gross. You literally didn't even see her face and are labelling her hot just by seeing her ass, I understand why you need a wingman now."

"Hey!" Mat slapped his best friend's shoulder as Tito drank his coffee trying to stifle a laugh (which he failed) since Mathew knew it was true.

~~~

Y/N had heard it many times from her friends, family, and probably even a few strangers. It was time to get a date. She wasn't desperate to really get anywhere. She was a 22 year old living in one of the most populated states in the country. She has time right? Deep down she knew that if she didn't get out there her person would probably not come by themselves. Which brings her to present day staring at her  phone screen at 1am. Earlier in the day Y/N's friend texted her that she knew someone who deemed specific qualities the young romantic wanted. 

~~~

Y/N met Grace in the coffee shop. She had come in a little bit later due to having the day off and sleeping in. Grace and Ruby sat in one of the corners of the small spaced coffee shop and Y/N sat next to them trying to stay in her own space but finding it quite difficult when there was a cute baby trying to get her attention a few feet away. After Grace apologizing for invading her space and Y/N saying it was really no problem they continued to meet in the coffee shop every once in a while. And a friendship blossomed later having exchanged numbers.

Grace was great. She listened to Y/N's tall tales of soulmates and love and she even told her about how she found her love (which she referred to as anders, y/n never having met him before) and how they had a beautiful baby girl together. She knew Y/N wanted someone who was sweet and kind and liked forming deeper connections so when she had an encounter with Tito she knew she should text her.

~~~

It was a late Friday night and the boys were celebrating a win in a rowdy club somewhere in downtown Brooklyn. The single guys trying to get the attention of some girls by buying them drinks. Grace had been standing at the bar with some of the other girls when she saw that Tito sat alone at the booth that occupied their stuff.

"Seems like our stuff doesn't really need a bodyguard, why aren't you out there buying a girl a drink or dancing?" She spoke somewhat loudly due to the pounding music and shouting of people.

"Not really my thing." He smiled softly back at his captain's wife. Tito was not fond of clubs or bars. He felt as though it was way too loud to actually have a proper conversation with someone. That's when it clicked. Of all the times the team had gone out not once had Tito really smiled or joked around with a girl. Grace connected the dots and decided to text Y/N in the morning.

~~~

A simple message was displayed across Y/N's screen. Simply reading "hey i know dates aren't your thing but i know someone who i think you might like."

After sleeping on it for quite a few more hours than she needed to, she decided to bite the bullet and text Grace back. "Why the hell not." 

Not even two minutes later Y/N's phone dinged indicating a response. "Perfect, I'll let him know."

There she sat on her bed over thinking if this was really a good idea.

~~

Tito was way over his head. Grace had texted him that she knew of a girl who was quite exactly Tito's type. At least she loosely stated it that way. He had agreed only on the condition that Mat was having a girl over later tonight and he wanted to be as far away from that as possible since they did have pretty thin walls. So exactly five hours later here he stood outside the infamous coffee shop which held the secret ingredient to the best coffee he had. Grace didn't tell him much other than her hair color which was quite difficult to find in New York since every once in a while a sea of same colored haired girls would come by. He waited outside deeming it more on the gentlemenier side. Whatever that meant. Ten minutes later wrapping his coat on tighter and checking his watch for what seemed to be the five time. Maybe she stood him up. I mean he didn't have too many redeeming qualities. I mean hell he lived in New York and didn't like clubs, parties, and sometimes hated big crowds which were what seemed to be a big part of where he lived. Rocking on the back of his heels he decided to wait a bit longer thinking that hopefully she was just running late.

~~~ 

Indeed she had been running quite late. Her cousin had pleaded her to take care of her baby because she had some errands to run. She didn't mind at all since she did in fact love babies. But when four thirty rolled around and still no sign of her cousin she began to worry. She didn't have this mystery dudes number (which Grace referred to him as Anthony) so she couldn't really text him that she was gonna be a bit late. She really hoped he would wait because all throughout the day her excitement grew more and more. Finally five rolled around and Y/N quickly handed off the baby and changed into something more date worthy rushing out the door in the cold breeze of the afternoon. She rushed to the coffee shop and as she arrived she could see a tall stranger looking down at the ground presumably freezing since it was pretty cold. She dodged a few people hoping that this was indeed her date.

"Hi uhm are you Anthony." She spoke up and she stood awkwardly pulling the sleeves of her sweaters. "Gosh please be Anthony or im just gonna look like an idiot." She whispered.

Tito turned around at a soft voice and was faced with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Her baby hairs were sticking out and her nose and cheeks were red from the cold, she seemed to be somewhat out of breath.

Y/N looked up and caught sight of some of the most memorizing eyes she had ever seen. This handsome stranger who she presumed  as Anthony had amazing features.

Tito cleared his throat and reached out his hand. "Hi uhm yeah im Anthony but you can call me Tito, or at least that's what my friends call me." He began to ramble.

"Nice to meet you im y/n." They shook hands and a soft electric shock was felt between the two. They both glanced up and she knew it was too soon to tell since she had just met him but she felt an extra special connection with him.

[iamtheblondestblonde]

The Clark Kent Effect

Part Three

AN: Imma be honest, I’m not happy with this part. I feel like my brain isn’t entirely ready for writing yet, it’s still wired to argue cases so please bear with me as I get my shit together. I still wanted to give the people who follow this story something though (you have no idea how happy I am about every single one of you) and I sincerely hope that this is good enough, apologies if not :) 

Song: Catching Feelings - Drax Project (this will be a thing from now on)

Word Count: 4,6k 

Warnings: explicit language I’m pretty sure but thats it

Masterlist / Part One / Part Two

You felt foolish really. It was as if your entire life had turned into a soap opera overnight. You wouldn’t call yourself cynical by all means, you loved love and everything that came along with it far too much for that, but you would’ve at least described yourself as rational.

Up until now.

Up until now you’d been convinced that if people really wanted to, they would be together. Up until now you’d been a believer of where there’s a will, there will be a way - relationships that would classify as statutory rape excluded of course, age was a bit more than just a number in those cases - but you, you, you had been stopped by the Bro-Code, which was just absolutely ridiculous.

Imagine telling that to your parents: Hey mom, so I met this great guy but I can’t do anything about it because he’s friends with my ex. Your grandma would straight up laugh in your face if you told her, the badass bitch had married her former lover’s rich best friend after she’d gotten the news that her fiancé hadn’t survived the war. Without needing to call her you knew that she’d tell you to go for Mat in a second, no matter how much she’d adored Tito back then.

But you weren’t your grandma and Tito hadn’t died in a war so here you were, pining over a guy you couldn’t have and practically living out a tragic romance novel. Technically you didn’t even know if Tito would have anything negative to say about the entire situation, it may all be water under the bridge by now, but you also couldn’t just casually ask him without giving anything away.

The only good thing about this situation was that Tito had brought a great group of people along with him into your life. He’d always been good at making friends, that certainly hadn’t changed from when he was younger and since the two of you had hit it up again your friend groups had seemingly merged without issue. It sure made for an interesting dynamic. You’d had some explaining to do whenever you initiated someone new into a group that also included your ex, but the result was definitely worth it.

Spending time with Tito was just as easy as it used to be, back before feelings complicated everything. Somehow you’d managed to fall back into a completely platonic relationship, one that worked just as well when the two of you were alone as it did with others around.

You’d missed having him around the years before, his view on things and the way he’d always managed to make decisions easy by providing simple solutions.

Should you get a puppy right now? - No, your apartment is too small for a big dog right now and no, you also shouldn’t settle for a purse-sized dog because you’ve always wanted a big one since you were little.

Maybe a cat instead? - No, you are allergic to cats, don’t be stupid.

What about one of those naked ones? - Also no, you need to bathe those frequently because of the built up oils on their skin and you don’t even have a bathtub in your apartment.

(You really had to bathe those from time to time, you’d looked it up. Apparently they could still trigger allergies as well, which straight up sucked.)

Should we grab Thai or Chinese? – Chinese, you told me about this new place you wanted to try out like three days ago.

What can I do to stop this one coworker from belittling and making fun of me? - I’ll help you make her jealous, how about some courtside seats to watch the Nets since she likes basketball?

The last idea had actually come from Mat (since Tito didn’t know shit about basketball), who had also pulled some strings to get four tickets so you could attend the game with Dana, Tito and him. Mat had even taken some pictures of Dana and you in your jerseys and at the game so you could post about your night excessively on your social media, making sure that said co-worker would see it. They’d also given you a tour of the building and you were surprised to say that their locker didn’t smell as bad as you’d expected.

Said coworker hadn’t said anything ever since by the way, but you could still see her lurking on your Instagram.

For all the advice Tito provided you with, you still hadn’t asked him the one thing you needed an answer to:

Is Mat off limits?

But you couldn’t do that and therefore it somehow became a normal thing for Mat and you to walk on eggshells around each other after the “incident” at the bar.

From time to time there were moments that made it blatantly obvious how good things could be – the time he’d excitedly side hugged-you after the Nets turned the game that one night before realizing what he’d just done and quickly letting go, how he’d found you in the crowd and looked straight at you after scoring a goal at one of his games before being swept away by his teammates or simply how you could see him looking around until he found you whenever your group met up – but they never lasted more than a few seconds.

The two of you were stuck, neither of you wanting to hurt Tito’s feelings. At least with your big group moments with Mat alone were rare. They still happened from time to time though, especially since the majority of your friends wasn’t even aware of your dilemma, which was why you found yourself in the passenger seat of his car on a Friday night.

Emily’s boyfriend Rafael had finally returned from a two-month-long work trip to Spain and was dead set on making an authentic recipe he’d been taught over there for everyone. Unfortunately he’d made the mistake of putting Emily in charge of getting the needed groceries and in true Emily fashion she’d forgotten to buy tomatoes. Something neither of them had noticed until Rafael had wanted to start cooking as soon as everyone arrived at their place. Maybe Emily had done it on purpose or maybe she hadn’t been thinking properly in that moment, too caught up in the fact that her lover was with her again, but she’d tasked Mat and you with a last-minute errand run to the store.

You couödn’t stop yourself from checking out the wine aisle though, leaving him waiting behind, dutifully holding a bag of fresh tomatoes and checking his phone while you inspected the options. Rafael had asked you to bring some wine as well but the one he’d requested was apparently out of stock.

“Barzal”, you called for his attention, inspecting a label to try and figure out if it was a suitable replacement, “you think Rafael would like this one?”

As you turned around with the bottle in your hand you were taken by surprise by Mat’s proximity. You hadn’t even noticed how close he’d moved until now and for a couple of seconds you were caught up in your daydreams again. He seemed to struggle with the same thing, his pupils blown and his breathing growing uneven while the two of you just stared at each other. His lips were so close and so incredibly inviting, his mouth slightly agape.

If I leaned up on my tippy toes right now I could-

You quickly stopped yourself from finishing that thought, looking down so you had a couple of seconds to gather your thoughts, thoughts Mat seemed to infiltrate constantly. By the time you dared to look up again he was running his hand across his face in frustration before slowly breathing out and returning to his cool and collected regular self.

“I’m the wrong person to ask this, he was drinking some red wine earlier and the one you picked out is obviously red but that’s about it. Wine culture is definitely lost on me, sorry. I prefer beer.”

“Stereotypical hockey player through and through, I see.” Later on you’d tell yourself that the smirk that followed made your brain short-circuit, because there was no other way to explain why you’d keep on flirting otherwise.

“Maybe one day I’ll teach you, only if you’re nice to me though”, you teased, maybe in an effort to take control over the situation, maybe because you simply couldn’t stop yourself but his laugh made your heart soar for one second, until you remembered why this shouldn’t be happening.

Maybe you simply were an undiscovered masochist because even though you knew you should stay away from him you kept finding yourself in situations like this one way too many times. Deciding that you’d simply drink the wine by yourself if anyone had an issue with it - drowning your sorrows seemed like a great idea either way right now - you handed him a second bottle before moving to leave the aisle and in turn his personal space.

Making eye contact with Colin standing a couple of meters away from you got you to do a full 180 though, almost smacking into Mat in the process, who had obviously followed you towards the cashiers.

What was it with Mat and you?!

While a collision was thankfully avoided, Colin’s presence could cause other problems, since he hadn’t exactly appreciated you breaking off things over a month ago. Because you hadn’t known him for long it had taken you longer than you liked to admit to realize that he was a manipulative bastard, you weren’t proud of that, and you had no idea how he’d act right now.

“What’s wrong?”

“My ex is over there and I don’t want to talk to him. Is he walking in our direction?”

Mat lifted his concerned glance from you to look over your shoulder so he could be on the lookout.

“If he’s the one wearing a Gucci hoodie that is so obviously fake then yes, he is walking in our direction.”

You let out a snort at the casual burn but you weren’t too happy about having to face Colin right now. He hadn’t even crossed your mind in these past few weeks but for him to cross paths with you while you were with Mat of all people seemed to be yet another one of these odd twists of fate your life seemed to attract lately. Maybe your guardian angel had decided to start a meth lab instead sometime recently, there was no other way to explain what was going on instead.

“Uh.. you look good, don’t worry, he’s definitely the one that missed out. Do- do you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”, Mat stuttered out nervously, probably noticing your anxious shifting and you couldn’t help but smile at his words, despite him being wrong about the reason behind your nervousness.

“Thanks for the offer”, you gave him a gentle smile of reassurance before continuing, “but no, it’s not about the way I look or anything like that, I don’t give a fuck what he thinks of me because he’s an idiot. I just don’t want him to cause any problems and if I could I’d just run away from him forever so he doesn’t have the chance to ever ruin my night again.”

“Well I’m no expert on forever, but I’m here right now and I say fuck that guy”, he responded and with that he grabbed your hand and started running towards the cashiers, leaving you with no other choice but to run along with him so he wouldn’t rip your arm out of its socket.

Oh how you wished you had a picture of the expression on Colin’s face as Mat and you ran past him, hand in hand and cackling like maniacs.

He was apparently too stunned to follow you as you fought over who would pay for the stuff - Mat ultimately winning - but you didn’t let that stop you from running all the way to this car as well. Of course hand in hand.

Masochist.

Somehow the weird tension between the two of you seemed to lift sometime during your little sprint but you weren’t sure if this would be permanent or if it was a spur of the moment thing. You’d be damned if you didn’t enjoy it while it lasted though.  

The entire ride back you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his hand had felt in yours and what a perfect fit it had been, desperately wanting to feel it again as the two of you sang along to the songs playing over the speakers, perfectly happy in your little bubble.

-

As Christmas approached Emily roped everyone in to accompany her on her mission to make Rafael appreciate the cold that taken over New York. According to her he dearly missed sunny Spain but all you could see was a man who was happy to be home again. You weren’t about to tell her that though, you’d long figured out that whenever she’d set her mind to something it was best to simply follow along. Everyone else had apparently come to the same realization because no one objected to her plans.

Emily wanted to take Rafael ice skating and since the Rockefeller Center apparently wasn’t good enough and too crowded, she told everyone to meet at Pier 17. Dana and Mariah were on board of course and you’d managed to convince Tito to come along, who had in turn invited Mat.

In a ridiculous attempt to not get spotted, both Mat and Tito had donned a pair of glasses and while you were used to seeing them on Tito by now, seeing Mat with them again knocked the breath out of your lungs for a second.

It had been almost two months since you’d last seen him like this and the fact that you hadn’t recognized him that night seemed impossible to you now. Maybe it was because you’d gotten to know him since, seeing him in real life instead of only on pictures and memorizing his handsome features in the process but as you tried to get a good glance at him without anyone noticing you realized that he’d never be Clark Kent to you again.

Whether that was a good or a bad thing was still left to decide though.

“Need help with those?”, Mat’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts. You’d been so lost in them that you hadn’t even noticed that everyone else had already laced up their skates and walked out onto the ice while you’d been staring at your hands for who knows how long, laces wrapped around your fingers but not doing anything. Tito and him had brought their own skates while everyone else had to rely on rentals and his were already laced up perfectly of course.

You nodded, despite full well knowing how to do it yourself but you weren’t about to stop Mat from pulling your leg into his lap so he had better access. Besides, you’d stupidly forgotten to bring gloves and you’d gladly take any chance to leave your hands stuffed inside the pockets of your jacket as you rapidly got colder.

His fingers worked quickly, tightening the laces with expertise and you watched his hand moving in awe.

If hockey ever wasn’t an option for him anymore, hand modeling definitely was. He had such nice hands, strong and big and perfect. For a quick second your thoughts drifted to what else they could be capable of, before you reeled them back in, mentally scolding yourself. It really wasn’t your fault, not thinking of him seemed impossible these days.

His eyes were mostly focused on his work but from time to time he’d lift his gaze and give you a small smile, one you happily returned despite the mess inside your head. He had just finished tying the second one when someone banged on the glass, making the both of you jump a little.

“Ayo Barzy get your filthy paws off Y/N!”, Tito yelled before zooming away again laughing loudly, leaving an awkward silence behind.

Was this just Tito being his usual little-shit-self or was he actually serious?

For a couple of seconds you couldn’t do anything but stare at Mat as he looked down onto his hands, one of them still loosely wrapped around your ankle. Carefully you pulled your leg off his lap, set both feet on the ground and got up.

It was apparently time to face reality again.

You waited until there was a break in the throngs of people circling around the rink before stepping onto the ice, muscle memory from your childhood kicking in immediately. Once you were convinced that you weren’t going to fall on your ass you did a couple of little spins until you were facing Mat again, who had followed you. He looked at you with a slack jaw and you laughed at his expression.

“You can skate?!”, he asked bewildered and you laughed again, moving so the both of you could skate beside each other at a relaxed pace.

“Obviously. Sorry to ruin your late night fantasies of teaching me how to skate but I’m a good Canadian girl and I did some figure skating when I was younger. I actually used to be pretty fast.”

That caught his attention and you smiled at the way he looked down at you with a conspiring grin.

“Oh yeah? Show me what you got then”, after a couple of seconds of contemplation he continued, “last one to reach the others owes the winner coffee.”

You looked around to find the rest of your group, spotting them on the other side messing around. Of course.

“You’re on, Barzy. I hope you’re ready to lose though”, you winked at him before racing towards your friends, leaving him and his exclamations about you being a cheater behind, now definitely not cold anymore.

-

Something in your relationship seemed to shift after that, at least whenever you were alone with him. Things were still difficult around others, especially with the way Emily kept prodding you for updates and Tito constantly disturbing the few moments you had alone with him. You weren’t sure yet if he did it on purpose or if he simply had awful timing but it wasn’t like it made a difference.

Christmas came and passed just as fast, the team leaving for a roadtrip shortly after. You’d celebrated New Year’s Eve with your friends in a club, unable to kiss the person you wanted to either way so your lips had stayed untouched as the fireworks went off at midnight and the days following.

Tito had announced that the guys would return later in the day though, already making plans in the groupchat to meet up tomorrow. While you wondered where he got all this energy from you suspected it was a way to distract himself as the trip hadn’t been successful - to put it mildly. In reality they’d ate shit, losing all of their games, some to teams that should have been an easy win.

It was hard to watch on TV but even harder to talk to the guys afterwards.

A couple of hours later you sat on the couch, a book in hand that you’d meant to read for weeks and enjoying staying in on a Friday for once. You were so lost in the story that it took you a couple of seconds to realize that someone had knocked on your door.

Who could that be?

Tito or Emily were most likely to show up unannounced at your day but you knew that Tito would be on his way to his home so he could sulk by himself and Emily was away on a ski trip with Rafael. Unwrapping yourself from your fuzzy blanket you padded towards the door, taken aback by who was waiting on the other side.

“What..”, you trailed of questionably, not even sure what you were going to say in the first place.

Mat looked so out of place in the dimly lit hallway, dressed in a suit that fit him so nicely, bag set on the ground next to him.

“Can I come in?”, was all he said and you nodded, unable to bring yourself to say anything else.

How could you even refuse him?

You didn’t move from your spot beside the door and after taking off his shoes he took a couple of steps inside your apartment, hanging up his coat before turning back around to face you.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here but if I’m honest I can’t even tell you. I just didn’t want to be alone tonight and since you seem to constantly be on my mind either way..”, he trailed off, seemingly gathering his thoughts before continuing, “I don’t know if you watched the games or-“

“I did and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”, you said softly as you interrupted him, sensing his apprehension. You decided that you weren’t about to touch his admission of thinking of you all the time with a ten-foot-pole, instead focusing on the rest of his sentence. He looked so broken and lost standing there so you couldn’t help but take the few steps it took to reach him, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

You knew from personal experience with Tito that athletes tended to take losses personal and if you had to take a guess you were pretty sure that Mat was one of those guys that blamed himself for them as well.

At first he seemed surprised about your bold move – it was the most the two of you had ever touched so far – but he quickly caught himself, hugging you even tighter to his body. For a couple of seconds you stood just like that, simply basking in each other’s proximity.

It was as if your bodies were made for each other, your head resting perfectly in the crook of his neck. Despite probably just getting off a plane he smelled so good and you were trying to figure out if you could take a deep breath without raising any suspicions. Before you’d managed to make a decision however, he pulled away and you unfortunately had to untangle yourself from him.

“Feel free to stay as long as you want to”, you said to fill the silence, leaving out the part where you hoped he’d stay for the night as well. He simply nodded before asking where he could change into more comfortable clothes. While you were sad to see the suit go you directed him to your bedroom, glad to have taken those thirty minutes earlier to tidy up.

He returned in a pair of grey sweatpants and a hoodie and it took every last remaining bit of your willpower not to drool at the sight of him. Somehow he managed to look even better in sweats than he did in his custom suit, which really wasn’t fair at all.

You had to admit it was a little weird to see him in your apartment though. He’d been over a couple of times to pregame etc. but he’d never been here alone. Somehow it felt strangely intimate to have him over by himself on this Friday night. To prevent your thoughts from going to a direction they definitely shouldn’t, you asked:

“Do you want some tea? I know technically you still owe me that coffee but I’ll be generous and let you off easy this time.”

For good measure you even threw in a wink at the end and your words had the desired effect, breaking the loaded tension completely.

“You cheated! I would’ve won if you hadn’t started early”, he exclaimed but the way he was laughing showed that he was anything but butthurt about the situation.

“Mmm keep telling yourself that, it’s okay”, you kept on teasing as he followed you into your small kitchen that was definitely at maximum capacity with two people in it. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy the closeness the tight space prompted though.

With a steaming mug of tea the both of you settled onto your couch shortly after, also small enough to keep you close together. You’d been wanting to buy a bigger one for weeks, but right now you certainly didn’t mind its size.

Masochist.

“Oh I love that one, the chimpanzees are so cute”, Mat said to your surprise as he finally realized what was playing on your tv and you looked at him in utter disbelief. You certainly hadn’t pegged him for a guy that liked to watch nature documentaries but yet here he was, constantly surprising you.

“What? Documentaries are very soothing”, he defended himself and you had to laugh at the way he looked like a little kid with his floppy hair and the cute way his eyebrows had scrunched up.

“I know. That’s why I love watching them as well.”

You hadn’t exactly pictured yourself watching documentaries with him on a Friday night, something that felt way too domestic if you were being honest, but yet here you were.

As the hour grew later both Mat and you sunk further in the cushions and while you had no recollection of how exactly it had happened, your head apparently ended up on his shoulder somehow. Your only regret was that now it wasn’t as easy to sneak glances at him from time to time without him noticing. At one point he’d even wrapped his arm around you, moving both of you into a more comfortable position before covering your bodies with the fuzzy blanket and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you to sleep before you even knew it.

The soft sound of your name woke you up sometime later, you weren’t exactly sure how much time had passed but the credits of the second documentary you’d started were already rolling and you were pretty sure you’d only caught the first half of it. In your sleep you’d cuddled up even closer, your arm wrapped around Mat’s midriff and you quickly sat up, embarrassed about turning into a koala in your sleep. Maybe you could blame it on the documentary?

“Sorry for waking you but I should probably head home. Otherwise my back is going to kill me tomorrow.” His voice was a little hoarse and it was obvious that he’d fallen asleep as well, his hair now sticking up in multiple directions. You suppressed a giggle at the disheveled sight of him, instead appreciating that he let down his guard enough for you to see him that way.

“Yeah of course. I’ll show you out.”

“Thank you for tonight. It means a lot to me”, he said quietly as he stood by the door, ready to leave.

“Anytime Mat. Get home safe.” It was the first time you’d called him by his first name, after months of first calling him Barzal then Barzy and he must have noticed as well because his smile could probably make glaciers melt at this point. You weren’t even sure why you’d given up your pathetic way of distancing yourself from him – despite the fact that it was very much obvious that it wasn’t working – but to not call him Mat would feel wrong after this evening.

“Have a good night, Y/N”, he simply said, still smiling as he leaned down to kiss you on the forehead before walking out the door, leaving you speechless.

 -

Tagging: @jamiedrysdales​ @nazdaddy​ @itrocksmysocks​ @yeeehaw-hockey​ @whitesummerx​ @teenagekook​ 

[naruto-ichigo-soul-kyobabe]

Ateez reaction to you being on the phone with someone and calling them “a friend”

This was requested by anon so I hope they like it! :) 

Hongjoong 

You and Hongjoong were having a movie night at your place. The two of you were being all snuggly on the couch when your phone started ringing, which startled you both. 

“Wah, put it on silent, y/n!” Hongjoon said clutching his chest. “Almost gave me a heart attack.” 

You told him to hush as you answered your phone. “Hi mom~ how are you? Oh I’m fine, I’m just watching movies with a friend! I’ll call you later, okay? I love you too.” 

You hung up your phone and were ready to snuggle back into Hongjoong’s arms, but when you turned back to him he had his arms cross and a frown on his face. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked confused. 

“”A friend”?” He asked clearly upset. “I thought I was your boyfriend. But I guess not.” 

“Ah, baby, no. Let me explain.” You said quickly. “My mom is very protective and even though I’m an adult.. she would chew my ear off if she knew I was with my boyfriend late at night.” 

Hongjoong continued to pout and looked away from you. 

“Baby please, don’t be like that.” You said wrapping your arms around him and planting kisses all over his face. “I love you so much. I’m just scared of my mom.” 

He burst into giggles hearing you say that. “Okay okay. I forgive. I’m sometimes scared of my mom too.” He opened his arms and hugged you. “And I love you too.” 

You both went back to enjoying your movie night. 

Seonghwa 

Note: E/n- ex’s name 

You and Seonghwa decided to grab some Starbucks before walking around the mall. You both had some errands that needed to be done there and the two of you often did this together. The two of you were holding hands in a middle of a conversation when your phone rang. 

“So I told Wooyoung that he better clean it up now or -“ 

“Sorry babe, hold on I’m getting a call.” You answered your phone. “Hello..? Oh.. how did you get my number?... My mom.. what for?... Not that it’s any of your business e/n but I am out with a friend right now and I-“ 

Seongwha grabbed the phone from you absolutely upset that not only your ex boyfriend had called you, but that you also referred to him as “friend” 

“Hi, this is y/n’s BOYFRIEND and I am going kindly ask you to NEVER contact her again. Or else you and I are going to have a problem? Got it?” And without waiting for a response he hung up. 

You knew you had messed up by the tone in Seongwha’s voice. You could tell how hurt he was. 

“Seongwha, love, I-I’m sorry..” you trailed off not sure what to say. 

Seongwha grabbed you hand and held it tightly while looking into your eyes. “Y/n, please tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for your ex?” 

“What? Of course no!” You exclaimed, shocked he would even ask that. “I love you and only you!” 

“Then why did you call me your “friend” and not boyfriend?” He asked with teary eyes. 

“Omg baby, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I’m the one who broke up with him and he took it really hard. His family is very close with mine and I just didn’t want to hurt him again.. I’m sorry that I chose his feelings over yours.” You said stroking his check. “I am so incredibly lucky to have you has my boyfriend. Plus you were so cool earlier when you told him off.” 

Seongwha gave you a shy smile. “R-really? Well, since you were just trying to avoid hurting someone’s feelings I will forgive you. However, to make up for it..” He whispered into your ear what he wanted. You started blushing furiously and just nodded, you wanted to make things right, and you loved your boyfriend so much. 

“Good girl.” He said kissing your cheek. “Let’s head home, shall we?” 

Yunho 

You were FaceTiming with your parent’s and didn’t hear your boyfriend, Yunho come home. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Hey ba-“ 

“Y/n! Do you have a boyfriend?” You dad asked. 

“Do you guys live together!?” Your mother said shocked. “We allowed you to study overseas to get a good education! Not to date boys!” 

“Ahh! Nono, he’s just a friend. He’s here to study with me! But he’s a hugger just like me!” You said quickly to your parents. 

“‘Just a friend?’” Yunho said dejectedly. 

You looked at him with pleading eyes to go along with you. 

“Ah, yeah. Y/n and I are just friends. Here to study for our upcoming tests.” Yunho said sadly. 

It took a little more to convince your parents that Yunho wasn’t your boyfriend and you soon were able to hangout so you could “study.” 

“That was a close one.” You muttered to yourself. “Right, Yunho?.. Yunho?” 

You turned and saw your big baby of a boyfriend sitting on the couch sulking. You got up and wrapped your arms around him. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” 

“Why did you have to lie to your parents? I really wanted to meet them as your boyfriend.. not “friend.””

“I’m sorry! If they knew I had a boyfriend.. they would find a way to get me to come home. And that I could no longer be with you!” You started placing kisses in his cheeks. “Do you want me to go away?” 

“No! Of course not!” He said turning around and pulling you onto the couch. “I would be heartbroken.” 

He started tickling you as punishment for hurting his feelings though. He then kisses your forehead. “I’ll pretend to be your friend for now.. but if we get caught again.. no promises.” 

“Okay,” you said smiling. You did want your parents to know you were dating such a wonderful man and they had nothing to worry about. 

Yeosang 

You and Yeosang were hanging out in your room, cuddling while watching TV, and after a while Yeosang was wanting more attention. He started kissing your neck and jaw, and it would have lead to a make-out session but you got a phone call. 

“Hello? Oh hi boss, how are you?” As you were trying to hear what your boss was trying to tell you, Yeosang whined beside you to hang up. 

“Hm, what was that? A boyfriend? No of course! I-I just have a friend over right now and she’s just a bit needy. Had a breakup.. aha y-yeah I remember you saying all men a scum.. oh okay you need me in early tomorrow? Yeah I can do that. Okay bye.” You said sighing as you threw your phone. 

“I’m sorry, y/n, but was that your way of saying you want to break up with me?” Yeosang asked hurt. 

“What are you talking about?” You asked confused. “Of course not! Why would I break up with you?” 

“Well why did you tell your boss your dealing with a “friend” who is going through a breakup?” He asked pouting and letting you go to cross his arms over his chest. 

“Baby, my boss is an older woman who really hates men. If any woman in the office gets a boyfriend.. then she takes out all her anger on them.” You explained. “I don’t want her to make my life a living hell at work.” 

“What, really!? You actually work for a woman like that?” Yeosang asked surprised. “You should quit!” 

“I can’t do that! I need this job until I can find a better one. So please, bare with this until then. You’re still my boyfriend and I still love you.” You pleaded. “Just can’t tell my boss.” 

“Okay. But once you get a new job you better tell everyone you’re taken and have the best boyfriend in the whole world.” He said pulling you back into his arms. 

“I promise.” You giggled. 

You smiled at you before continuing where you guys left off before the phone call had rudely interrupted. 

San 

You and your best friend San were hanging out at the arcade together like usual. You were watching him play the claw machine, he was attempting to win you a pink teddy bear that you said was really cute, and he was determine to win it for you. 

You got a phone call and saw that it was your grandma so you answered it immediately. 

“Hi grandma! How are you?.. yeah I’m good! I’m just with San. Yeah, you remember San, my friend? Yeah.. boyfriend? Aha no... oh? Blind date? I-I don’t know about that.. oh okay. Well alright I guess. Bye grandma.. love you.” You said and sighed as you ended the call. You leaned you head against the claw machine and closed your eyes. You didn’t want your grandma to set you up with anyone because there was only one boy you wanted and unfortunately he only saw you as a friend. 

“So I have been demoted from best friend to friend, now?” San asked. 

“What? Oh you heard that huh? Sorry, my grandma can’t remember a lot besides that I don’t have a boyfriend.” You laughed bitterly. 

“Do you want one?” San asked. “A boyfriend.” 

You jumped back startled from his question. “Wha- well I would. But I don’t think it will happen.” 

“Well think again.” He said smiling as he handed you the pink bear he had managed to win you. “I would like to promote you from my best friend to my girlfriend.” 

You jumped back again surprised by San’s confession. “What? You like me!?” 

“Yeah dummy. Thought it was obvious. I knew you liked me. I was just waiting for the right time to ask you out.” He said nonchalantly. “So, will you accept your promotion?” 

“Y-yes! Yes of course!” You said throwing you arms around San. “I would love to be your girlfriend.” 

He hugged you back and smirked. “Good, now call grandma back and tell her no more blind dates because you’re taken.” 

Mingi 

You, your boyfriend and the members of Ateez decided to spend the day at an amusement park. The 9 of you had been running around crazy all day, riding rides, screaming, and chickening out for certain rides. You all decided to take a break and get some food. 

“Babe, you sit down and I’ll get us something to eat.” Mingi said kissing you cheek before going off to stand in line. 

You sat down at a table waiting for Mingi to return. The others had found tables away from you two, to allow a little alone time. After a little bit you received a phone call from one of the kids you tutored English to. As you were speaking to her on the phone you heard Mingi calling you. 

“Noona! Noona! Where are you?” You spotted your giant boyfriend easily and waved him down.

“Over here, Mingi!” You called. 

“Ah Noona, there you are.” He said coming to you. “Oh you’re on the phone.” He notes as he sat down. 

“Oh what was that, sorry? My brother? Aha, oh no he’s not my brother but my friend. Yeah that’s right! Okay, I’ll see you on Tuesday for our lesson!” You said ending the call and putting your phone away. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Mingi asked quietly. 

“What? No of course not! Why would you think that?” You asked. 

“Because you told the person on the phone that I was your “friend” and not boyfriend.” He pouted. 

“Oh! Baby no. I’m sorry.” You said grabbing both his hands with yours. “It was one of my younger students just asking me a question. I just didn’t want to tell her too much personal information about myself.” 

“Really?” Mingi said giving you those eyes (🥺) that melted and broke your heart every time. 

“Of course! I love you so much and want everyone to know your my boyfriend.” You said reaching out to caress his cheek. “You make me incredibly happy and I would be heartbroken if we weren’t together.” 

He gave you that gummy smile of his while slightly blushing. “I love you too. And I feel the same way.” 

Mingi was extra clingy to you for the rest of the day, determined to let everyone in the park know you two were dating. 

Wooyoung 

You were at the dance studio watching your boyfriend practice for his upcoming stage performance. He liked when you came and kept him company. He always asked you to watch him so you could help him determine which parts need more work than others. Plus he enjoyed teasing you from time to time. Wooyoung just finished practicing when you got a phone call from your best friend, who was a huge fan of Ateez, and didn’t know you were friends with them, let alone that you were dating Wooyoung. 

“Hey, y/f/n, what’s up?” 

“Y/nnnnnnn are you ignoring me already?” Wooyoung whined when he saw you on the phone. 

“Eh, what was that? Wooyoung? No of course not! No I don’t have a boyfriend! It’s just one of my friends from work! Yeah! Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” You pressed end and laid on the floor, your heart racing from the anxiety you had just experienced. 

“Ya, y/n! Why am I your ‘friend’ all of sudden? Hmm? Am I not good enough to be your boyfriend?” Wooyoung asked laying down on you. “Explain yourself. Before I go to Seongwha and tell him how you are mistreating his baby.” 

You burst onto giggles hearing. “You give Seongwha so much stress.. I don’t think you’re HIS baby.. maybe San’s and most definitely mine.” You said stroking his hair. 

“It was my best friend, the one who loves you guys more than anything. She heard your voice and was getting suspicious. You know she can’t know or else all hell would break lose.” 

“Oh is that what happened?” He said. “Ah okay, baby I get it. I’m still your boyfriend and your baby?”

“Of course, my sweet angel.” You said kissing his nose. “Forever and always.” 

Woo started giggling while he placed kisses all over your face. “You know it’s kind of hot having to keep this a secret from people, huh?” 

“Ugh, Woo shush.” You said said pushing his shoulder. 

“Nope. I want you baby, come here.” He said before kissing your lips. “Let’s go home.. unless you wanna stay here?” 

“Omg! No let’s go home then!” You said getting out from under him and leaving the room. 

“Wait for me baby!” Wooyoung called chasing after you. 

Jongho 

You and Jongho were hanging out in his room watching videos on his phone. You were resting your head on his chest and he had his one arm around you. He was usually quite shy when you two were around other people, but when it was just the two of you, he seemed to relax a bit more. As you two were watching a video you saw you noticed you missed a phone call from your mom. 

“Oh Jongho, can you pause for a second? I need to call my mom back.” 

“Sure thing babe.” 

“Hi mom! Sorry I missed your call. What’s up?” 

“The doctor just called and said you started taking birth control!! Why? Are you doing things you shouldn’t be!?” Your mom said so loud that even Jongho could hear her. 

“Birth control?” Jongho asked surprised. 

“Who was that!? Are you with a boy? Are you doing sinful things!?” Your mom yelled. 

“No no mom! Of course not mom! It’s just my friend, a girl, not a boy! Please don’t say she sounds like a boy.. she’s self conscious about her voice.” You reassured your mom that you were good, innocent, and pure daughter, who would never think of such thoughts- after years of lying you could get her to believe anything. 

“Ughhh I shouldn’t have called her.” You said. “I’m sorry you had to what that.” 

“I-I understand why you had to call me “friend” but it kind of hurt.” Jongho said quietly while he had pouty lips. 

“Ohhh my sweet baby I am so sorry about that. If I could tell my mom I had such a loving, caring and handsome boyfriend such as yourself I would.” You leaned up and kissed his pouty lips. 

He smiled shyly at you. “Well, as long as you know I’m your boyfriend than I don’t care too much. Especially because your mom is...” 

“Crazy? Yeah I agree.” You said giggling. “I’ll let her know I have a boyfriend soon. Just gotta wait to find the best time to break her heart.” 

You snuggled back into his arms and continued watching videos together. 

[hopeshoodie]

I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but

 Here are the pros and cons of dating

Noah

 Cons

Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be. 

When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve). 

Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.

He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic. 

I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.

He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.

He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.

He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8

My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does. 

He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance. 

Pros

Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura. 

He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off. 

He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself. 

Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.  

Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba. 

He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope. 

This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people. 

He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.

The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food. 

Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.

He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.

A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets. 

[stones-x-bones]

Promise To Bind (Pt. 1)|| Mina, Nell, Bex and Frank

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable, @nelllraiser, @inbextween SUMMARY: On her way to meet Mina for their promised date at the hot springs, Bex encounters a problem. Meanwhile, Mina tries not to freak out and Nell remembers the last time she let down someone she loved. CONTENT: Domestic abuse, Drug manipulation, Sibling death mentions

Today was going to be a good day, Bex just knew it. It was getting warmer already, and she could wear her cute dresses now, even though most of the necklines plunged low enough to show off the scars on her chest. The blue summer dress Morgan had grabbed for her out of that store was comfortable, and she tried to not let it remind her of what had happened inside. And the devastating look on Morgan’s face. It was a cute dress and it deserved a better story than that. Which was why she’d chosen to wear it today, and, well, she’d picked it out specifically for this day. Mina and her were going to the Brimstone Hot Springs today, as an official second date. It seemed a little strange to Bex that this was only their second date after everything they’d already done together, but she supposed that wasn’t really their fault. Mina had had her accident only two days after they’d made their declarations to each other and then spent the entire day in Bex’s room together. She still felt warm every time she thought about it. And every time they’d done the same thing after. And especially when they’d spent Beltane-- or a few days after-- together.

It hadn’t been too long since Bex had overexerted herself and hurt that hunter, but she was feeling much better. Really. She only got bloody noses now when she used magic, and Nell’s mom was helping heal her, so that, really, was an improvement. And nothing catastrophic had happened in, like, over a week, so that was also an improvement. She’d promised Mina that they would get a week, and then go to the springs, and, well, that was exactly what they were doing. Bex had just been downtown running some errands while Mina finished work, and then she was going to meet Mina at campus. She’d worn the dress to the store because why not? It looked good on her and she wanted to make sure she felt comfortable in it in public before going to a place where she wouldn’t be able to take it off. She was even wearing the new bathing suit Morgan had helped her pick out underneath, all ready to hop in Mina’s car and whisk off to a relaxing day. 

She was just pulling out her phone to text Mina she was on her way when it happened.

Frank had been waiting for the right moment. He was under a lot of pressure. Things needed to go perfectly. If he didn’t accomplish this task, then things were going to get bad. He’d been told as much not only by his own parents, but by Odelia’s as well. It was time to stop playing around. The look in her mother’s eyes had scared Frank. Odell Ochsenstein was a frightening woman, after all. Even his own father cowered under her gaze. She was a human you knew not to fuck with. And she had given Frank explicit instructions. He was to bring Odelia home. And if he couldn’t get her home in time for the signing, then things were going to get bad, and people were going to get hurt. Not just Odelia, though, really, she was the only one he cared about.

He’d followed her downtown, to the store, and waited in the alley outside. She’d been avoiding alleys, but today she walked right by it, too preoccupied with thoughts of someone else to notice him at first. Frank slunk from the shadows and she watched her jump as he reached out and pulled her in. “Odi, it’s me! It’s me, it’s Frank.”

“Frank!?” Bex exclaimed, heaving with breath. Her heart was pounding. She couldn’t help but feel the fear rising in her bones. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you,” Frank said, and hoped the urgency in his voice would be enough for Odelia to just listen to him. “You have to come with me.” 

“I-- what? No. No, I’m not going anywhere with you, Frank, you attacked my friends! You grabbed me and tried to--” But Bex stopped, because she didn’t actually know what Frank had tried to do when he’d grabbed her. She tried to pull her arm from his grasp, but it was firm, and a sudden sinking feeling fell in her stomach. “Frank...let me go.”

“I can’t do that,” Frank said.

“Frank, don’t make me hurt you,” Bex shuddered. She would do it, if she had to. She would. She could. Right? She could.

“I wouldn’t try it, if I were you,” Frank said, and there was a new chill to his voice.

Bex shivered. “Frank, please, just-- let me go. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to--” 

But Frank had other plans. He reached out and grabbed her other arm and snagged them both together before Bex could even respond. She struggled, but his grip was tight. “This is for your own good,” he said, “I’m sorry.”

Bex’s heartbeat was increasing with each second. She struggled against him but his grip was tight. Just like the hunter in the alley. And then he said he was sorry, and Bex began to really worry. But before she could do anything, ask anything, Frank was lifting something towards her face and blowing it at her and a sudden drowsiness overtook her and the world went black.

Frank caught Bex as she fell. The fairy dust always did the trick. He rifled through her purse and dumped out her phone, her wallet, her keys. Then he hefted her into his arms, and slunk to the back of the alleyway and set her in his car. He’d take her far away. Maybe they could just leave this town, together. Go somewhere better. Somewhere safe. Somewhere not even her parents and their “deals” could get her.

He started the engine and pulled away, and headed down the street that led out of town.

---

It wasn’t that the day was going poorly. All things considered, Mina didn’t think it was a bad day, at least not at first. It just seemed to drag. She had wished that she and Bex could have gotten started on their date much earlier, but she’d already offered to go to her office and help one of her colleagues with one of the assignments for their actual classes, and somehow the guy had gotten started talking about vector spaces and wouldn’t stop. Usually, she might be interested in the conversation, but she was more interested in checking her phone to wait and see if Bex would text her. She was ready for Bex to text her. Maybe Mina was supposed to text her first. Maybe she was supposed to meet her somewhere. She started picking up her stuff, telling the other grad student that she needed to go as politely as she could. He huffed out a “Bye, Fitzroy,” before turning back to his work, and she headed out, leaving the maths department with her phone in her hand. 

No, it wasn’t that the day was going poorly. In fact, she only expected it to get better, and it had actually been a series of really, really good days. Sure, there were still patchy, yellowed bruises around her ribs, and sure, her wrist wasn’t completely healed, either, but things were okay. She was okay! And Bex was okay, and Bex hadn’t done anything to get herself hurt recently, and Bex hadn’t left her just because they’d had sex. Not that she’d expected her to! But Mina had really only had experiences where the day after was just a day after, and nothing happened again, and, yes, that was fine, she was really fine with that, but she hadn’t wanted that with Bex. She was glad it hadn’t been like that with Bex. Bex made her feel warm and safe and comfortable, and she wanted to feel like that all the time. She was going to tell Bex that she was Fae when they got to Brimstone Hot Springs. She’d already decided. And that way she could show her, and she had to believe that it would be okay because if it wasn’t, she was just going to sink to the bottom of the water and never come out. 

Mina ended up texting Bex three times while she waited by her car, rocking a bit from foot to foot as she tried to remember if she was supposed to be doing something. Bex was just going to the store, right? That’s it? Mina gave her a call, only to get the voicemail. Could something have happened on the way? Or was this maybe Bex’s way of saying that she didn’t want to go on a date without saying that she didn’t want to go on a date? No, that wasn’t what was happening. Mina didn’t think that’s what was happening. Maybe Bex was doing witchy things, since her magic was still not the greatest. Maybe she was with Nell. Maybe Mina should call Nell. Mina decided to call Nell. “Hey, hi, sorry to bother you. Is Bex with you? I-- We’re supposed to be doing something, and I can’t get in touch with her, and she’s supposed to just be at the store before we do something, and-- You wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?

Today was already turning out to be better than Nell had expected. Not that she’d thought it would necessarily go poorly. Just that she’d woken to the smell of her sister cooking breakfast in a kitchen that had gone too long without Bea in it. She wasn't all that sure of how long Bea was planning on staying in White Crest— no doubt she’d return to Felix in New York soon enough, but for now she was reveling in the peace that came with having Bea at home. She’d do her best to ignore the foreboding feeling of dread, and cloud of gloom that was simply waiting to fall over her, biding its time until the eldest Vural daughter left town. The rest of the day had seen Nell lingering around the house if only to hear Bea’s voice echoing through it. It felt like years since she’d had the daily reminder that her sister was alive and well, with physical proof of such a thing standing in front of her. But eventually Bea had gone to tend to something at Illusions of Grandeur, and Nell had gone to her greenhouse to pack the spare mattress away. With Bea home, it was easier to sleep in the house. Maybe she’d even manage to get by with the Aram tonight. The memory of Montgomery always tended to fade while Bea’s spirit filled its spot. 

There was no reason for Nell to be nervous when she answered her phone after seeing Mina’s name flashing on the screen, not when things felt like they were actually going decently for a moment or two. But that quickly changed as she listened to the hunter’s words with growing concern, a frown drawing her lips southwards. “When’s the last you heard from her? How long has it been? No...she’s not with me.” A familiar hand felt like it was already beginning to claw its way up Nell’s throat, the darkness of a sense of impending doom making a valiant effort to stake its claim. “When was she supposed to meet you?” It wasn’t like Bex to be late in the first place- let alone without a text of forewarning.

---

As Frank drove, he periodically checked on Odelia to make sure she was still breathing and still out cold. He’d seen her using magic with that other witch, there was no doubt she would try and use it on him if she felt threatened. He just needed to get her to a safe place and then he could explain everything. The drive felt as if it took forever. He pulled off the side of the road and quickly hopped out of the car, sweeping aside the bushes he’d used to cover the tiny back road that led to his father’s secluded cabin. It rested right on the city lines of White Crest, but would be nearly impossible to track without something extra to help. He hopped back in, drove through, then hopped back out to recover the tracks. 

The further he drove in, the thicker the trees got, the darker the world got. It felt ominous. Could a demon find him here? Once they crossed White Crest lines, he knew of at least one person who would be alerted. Finally, he pulled up to the cabin and parked around back, lifting Odelia out of the car and hurrying inside. He placed her on the couch, pulled up a chair, and sat down to wait.

Bex felt herself coming to and wondered, at first, if she’d passed out again. It had happened a few times recently, but something felt different about it this time. She felt groggy, stiff, and it was difficult to move. Her eyelids felt like lead even as she forced them open. A room came into view. It wasn’t one she recognized. There were plaques on the log slatted walls, a rustic fireplace with what looked like a strange deerhead over it, and, there, in a chair staring at her with what she thought was concern, was Frank. 

Bex shot up immediately, but felt her stomach heave and she fell back down, grasping at her chest. “What-- Frank-- what’s--”

“Don’t try and move too fast. The dust is still wearing off,” Frank instructed. He wanted to rise from his chair and go to her, but he knew that would be too overwhelming right now. “Just, lay down. You’re safe.”

“Safe!?” Bex exclaimed, staring at him with wide eyes. “Frank you-- you jumped me in the street and drugged me!” She wasn’t sure that’s what happened, but she remembered him grabbing her and she remembered him blowing something in her face. “What-- what even was that? What did you do?” Her head felt like a bowling ball when she tried to lift it, hands clawing at her eyes to try and scrape the drowsiness away. “Take me back, Frank. I’m supposed to meet Mina. She’s going to-- they’ll look for me. You know they will. Please, just, take me back, Frank. Please.” It was all she could do, beg. Because she didn’t want to hurt him. Because she didn’t know where they were, or how they got here, or what time it even was.

---

So, Mina was trying not to panic. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it, presently, as she listened to Nell’s words with a heavy, sinking feeling in her stomach the more that time went on. “The last time I heard from her was this morning. She was going to the store, I had to come to the school to help someone with some work, so she said she’d text me when she was ready, but that was supposed to be a while ago, and now she hasn’t--” She was panicking, just a bit, talking way too much, and Mina had to cut herself off to try and stop that. This was nothing. It was nothing. She was worrying about nothing. But that felt like a lie, and it made her sick. She drummed her fingers against the side of her car. “She’s been letting me know, before she does things, most of the time, after everything that’s happened the last few weeks, but I thought, maybe, she’d be with you? I don’t--” She didn’t know what to do, now. She felt like this was somewhere between an overreaction and a perfectly legitimate one. She’d feel stupid, sure, if she was overreacting about this, but she didn’t want to underreact. She didn’t want to not worry enough and have something catastrophic happen all because she was being inattentive and terrible.

“Am I being--” Overbearing, insufferable, clingy, “--ridiculous?” she asked quietly, not quite sure if she wanted the answer, even if it was in the negative. If she wasn’t being ridiculous, then that meant that something was wrong. She didn’t want something to be wrong. She just wanted Bex to be okay and for them to have a nice time. That was it. She didn’t want that to be too much to ask for. “I mean, her phone could have died, right? That could be-- I’m sorry if I’m bothering you for no reason, I just--” Mina pinched at the top of the bridge of her nose and clenched her eyes shut, trying to go still. “Sorry.”

Gone was any hint of Nell’s generally jesting demeanor as she let Mina speak, brows drawing closer in concern with every word that tumbled out of the other girl’s mouth. Morning wasn’t that long off, but it was still far enough away that nearly anything could have happened in the time someone had last heard from Bex. And it wasn’t like Bex to be late without a word of warning. The young witch was always texting when she thought she might run late to a lesson, and Nell couldn’t imagine it would be any different when it came to the appointments she held with Mina. “No- no, I don’t think you’re being ridiculous.” If Mina was being ridiculous by worrying after Bex, then Nell would be too. And this was only precaution, right? It was better to be safe than sorry when it came to things like this. Nell had learned that the hard way, and she wasn’t about to let Bex of all the people she loved in her life to become the next lesson. “No! No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you called. And don’t worry- I know how to find her.”

There’d been a reason Nell had asked Bex if she could have some of the younger girl’s blood, saving it for occasions just like this. “I’ve got a tracking spell that’ll tell us where she is, alright?” Her mind was already beginning to fill with the worst of scenarios. Bex wouldn’t have gone off with Kyle alone, and without warning someone, right? Just because Nell’s relationship with the werewolf had improved, didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous. “I’ll cast it- and let you know what direction it’s taking me, and then you can intercept the course.”

---

“I can’t,” Frank said, and his voice wavered in a way that he hadn’t been expecting. He swallowed and looked at Odelia firmly. “Take you back. I can’t. I can explain everything if you just let me.” 

Bex didn’t like where this was going. Any of this. This was bad. This was really bad. She didn’t have any way to contact anyone. How had she done that, in the alley, with Kyle? Astral projected? Could she do that again, here? Go find Mina or Nell or Morgan or someone to come help her. But what would she say? Where would she tell them to go? She had no idea, she’d been unconscious the whole time. She had no idea where they were. Her heart rate was increasing with each suffocating thought. She was trapped. She was trapped. Frank had taken her and she didn’t know where to go or what to do and-- had she been wrong? Was he going to hurt her? Would he hurt her? She pushed herself up with a great effort and clutched her head. “Frank, I need to go back, please. We can-- we can talk when we get back, okay? I-- I’ll listen. I’ll listen if you take me back, but I’m supposed to meet Mina, and I promised her we’d go to--” and suddenly, the words settled in her stomach like a disease, and her body heaved. 

“You what!?” Frank gasped, standing so suddenly the chair he’d been sitting in toppled over. “You promised her!?” He ran his hands through his hair, paced. This was bad. This was really bad. But if he took her back, it would be worse. He knew that. He couldn’t risk that. His eyes settled back on Odelia, pale and shivering on the couch now. “Fuck, Odi…”

“It’s Bex,” she exhaled through clenched teeth, “my name is Bexley.” 

Frank didn’t know what to do anymore. This complicated things. If they didn’t get out of town soon, someone would come looking for them. Someone might already be. He hadn’t planned for this. He had planned for them to stay here for at least the night. Shaking his head, he paced away, palms flat against the fireplace. “Okay, okay,” he nodded to himself, “we have to go now, then. Stay here,” he commanded and strode towards the front of the cabin, glancing out the windows. It was quiet for now. He turned to look back at Ode-- Bexley-- and knew she wouldn’t get far right now if she tried to run. Once they were safe, he could explain. He just needed her to understand that right now. “I’ll be right back.”

Bex watched Frank head into the great room. She didn’t know what he had in there, but it couldn’t be good. Stiffly, she pushed herself up from the couch and stumbled over to the windows, using each piece of furniture as support as she did, knees knocking. Fuck. They were surrounded by trees. She saw his car, across the lawn, hidden by some bushes. Where were his keys? Maybe, if she could just find them, she could take his car and run. She knew she’d never outrun him on foot. But, maybe she could lose him in the trees, if she could only get a good enough head start. A plan was forming in her head. 

She was going to get out of here.

---

“RIght, okay. Right.” Mina decided that this was a good time to do a few breathing exercises. She hoped they were panicking for no reason. She really, really hoped she was panicking for no reason. “Yeah, just cast it and I can meet you there. Just-- I mean, yeah. Text me where to go.” When they hung up, Mina didn’t really know what to do other than stare at her phone and wait for a text to come in. She must have looked like a fool, standing outside her car with her phone in her hand with a panicked expression on her face. But a watched phone doesn’t ring, so she decided to just wait inside the car, fiddling with the keys in her hands. Finally, the text came in, and Mina glanced at the location before starting the car and leaving campus in a way that would have probably impressed Nell before Mina realized that she needed to drive like a normal person. Everything was probably fine, and she was probably overreacting, and she didn’t need to go too fast and get pulled over for a speeding violation because really that would just make things take even longer, and she just needed to get to wherever Bex was and make sure that she was okay and be told that she was acting silly. She felt like she was acting silly.

Nell’s text led her to an alley, and Mina parked and jumped out of the car, looking for any signs of Bex as she started walking. She saw Nell, but no Bex. “Please tell me she’s just in one of the buildings, and everything’s fine, and that we’re worrying over nothing because I worry over most things, Nell, and I really, really like being told that I’m worrying for no reason. It makes me feel better about things.”

Casting the tracking spell was nearly as easy as breathing for Nell at this point with the frequency she used it. The magic was pivotal to her bounty hunting jobs, but it also came in handy for when young witches who had a penchant for getting into bad situations went missing. While she followed the spell through an alley, she looked up as she heard Mina’s car pull in- followed by the appearance of the hunter herself. Before the witch lay the little pinpricks of almost rodent-like feet, painted in Bex’s blood. The little paws looked sharper than a rat’s foot, but not nearly as large as something like a wolf’s. Maybe something in between? They were set longer apart than most animals. Something long, and rodent-like that had decent claws. The first thing to spring to her mind was a ferret, but she brushed the thought aside as quickly as it had come, not so much caring about what tracks there were at a time like this, so much as where they were leading. 

“I’m still following the spell,” Nell replied in a tone that meant business, laser-focused despite the growing dread in her stomach. There’d been such a brief moment of peace. Didn’t they deserve a few days of unimpaired happiness before shit went south again? She tried to remind herself that it was most likely her old bias, and pessimism rising in her throat. But vigilance was what kept people alive. “It’ll be alright though, okay?” she tried her best to comfort, despite hounding after the ruby trail of tracks that kept appearing before her while she followed them through the alley. Along the way a glint of reflection caught her eye, and suddenly she wasn’t so rational when it came to hoping for the better. Bex’s phone. Wordlessly, she picked the cellphone up in her hand, nothing but her own reflection staring back in the dark and cracked screen after it had been carelessly tossed aside. A new shade of darkness had fallen over their search, Nell’s jaw clenching in growing wrath as she kept after her tracking spell. “Come on- we gotta move faster.” Faster before someone hurt Bex. Faster before she found Bex’s headless body in the middle of some clearing in the forest. 

---

Frank came back into the room with two large bags under his arms. Bex turned away from the window and curled her arms behind her, concealing the candlestick she’d found on the table. Just one good swing, right? And she could knock him out. Make a run for it. His keys jangled on a clip on his belt loop. If only she’d been better at levitating spells, if only they’d practiced more, maybe she could remove them without even needing to be near him. If only her stomach didn’t feel like a raging ocean, and her head like a pounding storm. She looked up at him, shivering. “Wh-what are those for?”

Frank set the bags down and looked across the room to Bexley. “Put it down,” was all he said to her. The question wasn’t important. “You won’t get far with that.” 

Bex stood frozen, wide eyed. How had he known? He-- was a hunter. He probably had known her whole plan from the beginning. The way he was looking at her made her skin crawl. She wanted out of here, away from him. She didn’t know what he was going to do. Where he was going to take her. If they got too far, would they disappear forever? Would she never be able to escape him? She dropped the candlestick, but stayed put, even as he held his hand out to her. “Frank, please,” she begged one last time, throat tight, “please just take me back. I don’t want to hurt you. O-or get you hurt.” Because if Nell found him, if Mina found him, if Morgan found him, they would tear him to shreds. She knew it. And despite her fear, despite how terrified she felt, she didn’t want him dead. He clearly was just confused. He needed to just talk to her.

“Please, we can just-- go back to your place and talk. Okay? I-- I can do that. I’ll listen to you, hear you out. We just-- we need to go back, Frank.”

Frank’s eyes turned sharp and he crossed the room quickly, grabbing her wrist tightly. “There’s no going back, Bexley,” he spat. “We leave now, and never come back, or things are just going to get worse for you. If you stay here, your only option is going to be going back to them-- your parents. Is that what you want? Because they’ll come for you, Bexley,” he said sharply, “they’ll come for you and they’ll destroy anyone in their path for it.” That’s what people with deals did, after all. They destroyed everything in order to keep their power, their pride, their safety. And Bexley’s parents were at the top of that chain. He’d seen them do it before. And they were doing it again. Bexley didn’t even realize it, all the damage they’d done so far. He was living proof of it. 

He pulled on her arm and dragged her over to the bags, shouldering them both. “We’re leaving,” he said firmly, and left no room for argument as he pulled them both out the front door and towards the car.

---

Mina looked at the cracked phone in Nell’s hand and felt her stomach sink. She popped the boot of her car and grabbed a set of throwing knives to strap to her thigh along with a much longer, far more wicked looking knife to attach to her belt. If there was trouble, she wanted to be prepared. She was trying so hard not to panic, but it was there, hanging around in the back of her throat, nearly making her sick with it. No, no, she couldn’t do that. She had to be strong, she had to be okay. She had to shape up. She had to. Mina was trained to be calm under pressure, to be brave and collected in the face of danger. She wasn’t in danger, but someone that she cared about was, and that was all that mattered. She steeled herself. She was ready to fight, if need be. She looked over to Nell. “Do we need to walk or would it be faster for me to drive? Can you still track that way?” 

Following suit, Nell made the hiding spaces her knives were easily accessible, shouldering her jacket off and throwing it into the back of Mina’s car. This way her summoning sigils would be a touch away as well, the tattoos dark against her skin. For good measure she summoned her own set of more delicate knives from the space where they sat in her room, the throwing knives momentarily glinting in the sun along with Mina’s. Normally she would have loved to take preference with the other girl when it came to their weapons, but now wasn’t the time. “If you can see the tracks from your car— driving’s fine.” It was part of the reason she’d always stuck to her motorcycle. The details of groundwork were much easier to follow while you were nearly on top of them. “But if you can’t…” There were always the hellhounds. But Mina hadn’t reacted all that well to them. “I could call Shaggy back.” Maybe her aversion wouldn’t matter in the long run. Maybe Bex’s safety would take priority as it did for Nell. Or maybe Mina simply had better vision and would be able to see from her car.

---

The air around was cooler than Bex thought it might be, on a supposedly warm spring day. Was it getting close to night? She squinted to try and see the sun through the trees, but the heavy fog seemed to have settled around the cabin obscured her vision and she shivered. She could feel it, the magic that coated this place. 

The further that Frank pulled her from the cabin, the more sick she began to feel. She didn’t understand what was happening. Her body drooped like lead and Frank had to stop to pick her back up. Suddenly, another idea formed.

After he helped her stand back up again, she made a show to make herself look as if she were dizzy, getting sicker, letting her head loll around as he pulled her towards the car, a low groan in her throat. He looked back to check on her, about to ask her something, and that’s when she let her entire body go limp. Both of them tumbled to the ground, Frank crying out as he was yanked down by her. Just like she thought, he let go just in time to keep himself from landing on top of her and potentially crushing her with his own weight and the weight of the two bags. He was calling her name, fumbling with everything in his arms. She peeked one eye open and as soon as he turned around to set the bags down, she kicked a leg out into the back of his shins and watched him crumple to the ground.

She scrambled at the leaves and dirt and pulled herself up, feet already moving against the ground. Her shoes-- fucking sandals, of course-- flew off her feet as she fought to find more purchase on the wet, foggy ground. She bolted as fast as her stupid, jello legs would carry her, the heaving in her stomach fighting against her. For her. She needed to get back to Mina, that was all she knew. She had no idea which way to run, but she had to get away from Frank.

He was calling after her now, yelling. He sounded scared. He sounded mad. She didn’t care. She ran past bramble and brush and angry trees reaching down to claw at her, until her foot caught a root and she tumbled, head first, down the side of a hill. It felt like she had been falling forever, gasping for breath. When she finally came to a stop, splashed face first in a pool of mud and leaves, she stayed still and listened, panting. Was he close? Did he hear? Oh, fuck, her leg hurt. Her ankle. She looked down at it, but it was covered in mud. And so was her dress. Ruined. She felt stupid for letting that get to her as she backed up against the hill and hid under a fallen tree. Someone would come for her, right? Someone would come for her, like in the alley, with Kyle. She had to believe that. But, until then, she had to keep going. She had to get away.

Frank should’ve known this was going to happen. He should’ve known. She was too far under the fae’s spell. She would fight to get back to her. She was...lost. He scraped the tears from his eyes and continued his search. There, up ahead, a snapped branch. He followed it along to a hillside. She’d been through here. He slid down the hill easily, his natural athleticism giving him an advantage a normal human could never have. Her magic couldn’t save her here, he knew that much. If he could just get to her before the fae, then maybe he could help her. There wasn’t much time left. There were three competing forces searching for her, and he had to be the one to find her first.

---

“We don’t know where we’re going,” Mina murmured. The little tracks that they were supposed to be following were clear to see from her car, she could tell, but… if they ended up going through the woods, there would be absolutely no way for Mina to drive. Her car was not built for going off-road. She gave Nell a sharp nod. “Call-- call Shaggy,” What a strange name for a hellhound. “He should move faster, anyway.” She looked at Nell, who looked just as ready to go to war as she did, and she wondered just what they were about to get into. Something had clearly gone wrong. She didn’t know what, and she didn’t know how, but it had. She’d go to a hell dimension for Bex, though, and it was clear that Nell would, too. That made her an ideal hunting partner. It was always best to go into life or death scenarios with someone whose goal was aligned with your own, and she and Nell were on the same page: find and protect Bex, no matter what cost. “Whatever gets us to her fastest. That’s what we’re doing, okay?”

Nell nodded along with Mina’s decision, not having time to truly appreciate the flash of approval she felt rising in her chest. She knew Mina would protect Bex the same way she would. Besides- it would only make things easier to have the hellhounds already summoned in the first place if it came down to a firefight. “You’ll take Shaggy,” she began. The hellhound was large, but she’d never tried to put two people on him. “-and I’ll take Scooby.” The names sounded a little foolish in a setting such as this, but she wasn’t going to linger on them. Biting the scabbed bit of her thumb, she ran the blood that came out of it over one of her tattoos, speaking a quick word of Latin. In the next moment the two hellhounds had appeared before the pair of girls, tails wagging as they were eager to be of use. They knew they’d get a nice meaty and fleshy meal providing they did well. “Do you want help up, or do you got it?” Hellhounds didn’t exactly have the most obvious of handholds, and she wasn’t sure if Mina would need the confidence boost getting onto one. Her fingers fiddled with a knife impatiently as she waited for an answer, knowing every second wasted was another potential cut against Bex’s skin.

---

Exhaustion and sickness and mud were sticking to Bex’s skin, weighing her down. Her magic couldn’t help her here, not even Nell’s ready made spells could. The bracelet was snug on her wrist, but she knew she didn’t have the energy to perform them. Nell had been very adamant to let her know that they took her own energy, her own force, to complete the spell. And with how much her arms shook and her legs rattled, she knew she didn’t have the energy for them. She just needed to keep moving. She needed to keep going. Eventually, she’d find something, right? She’d never been in the forest alone before. Her parents had never let her even think about going into it. For good reason, she now knew. Their isolation had also been her protection. Feet slipped as she limped past a log, clutching onto the wood with muddy hands, leaving behind prints she barely even noticed. She wanted to cry, but that, too, would waste too much energy. She needed to find a road, a house, a river-- something. She hated these woods.

Frank was getting closer, he could tell. She wasn’t trying very hard to cover her tracks, but she was moving at a pace a lot faster than he’d thought she’d be able to. They were still within the confines of the spell on his father’s cabin, but if she went too much farther, she’d breach the edge and make it that much easier for others to find her. He picked up his pace, pulling out his knife, as he cut through bushes to get to her faster. 

But, suddenly, the trail went cold. No footprints, no snapped branches. Either she’d gotten smart, or she was hiding somewhere nearby. The low hum of the woods sung in his ears and he closed his eyes, trying to hone in on any noise that wasn’t natural. Crunching leaves under a deer’s hooves, birds scraping talons against tree branches, wind whistling through bark and broken branches. He opened his eyes again, glanced in a circle, and he started on his way again. He would find her. And he would save her.

Bex was pressed as far up under the overhanging rock as possible. She felt water trickling down from above it and dripping on her shoulder into one of her cuts, but her hands stayed pressed against her mouth and nose, quieting her breathing. He was so close. She could hear his boots crunching on the leaves outside. Her eyes screwed shut and she inhaled, holding her breath. Seconds passed, and then more-- she needed to breath-- and then he was moving again, and his bootfalls got quieter and Bex let out the longest exhale she had in a long time. Tears finally pooled in her eyes as she leaned back against the rock. 

Of all the horror that White Crest had shown her, this was the most terrified she’d ever been. Not even Kyle compared. 

She sniffled and wiped her tears away, smearing mud on her cheeks, pushing away, out from under the rocks. Limped off in the opposite direction she’d heard Frank, when other footsteps-- heavier footsteps-- echoed through the trees. Her heartbeat raced again and she ducked behind a pile of dead trees, wishing with all her heart and all her soul, that she’d have the strength to keep going on.

---

“Shaggy, right.” Mina didn’t even have time to stare at the creatures with apprehension (she’d taken down hellhounds before, but never by herself, but she could see the weak spots-- she needed to stop that), just steadied herself even further. “I think I’ve got it.” It couldn’t be any more different than climbing without a harness, and she’d done that before. The hellhound was tall; she imagined it was probably like riding a bike, if the bike was giant and demonic and canine in nature. She grabbed a few tufts of fur and hauled herself up, patting the creature gently as she got settled, hoping he wouldn’t get upset with her and throw her off. This wasn’t bad, except for the fact that she would be absolutely terrified to be riding such a large creature that really was incredibly dangerous if she wasn’t so focused on what they were supposed to be doing. She could clearly see the tracks, even from the hellhounds back, and she looked over to Nell as the smaller girl climbed on her own hellhound. “You lead. I’ll be on the lookout in case… in case.”

Nell didn’t wait to see if Mina would second-guess her decisions, climbing on Scooby while she let Mina get situated. “Alright, guys- you know the drill,” she murmured to the pair of hellhounds who wasted in time following the blood trail that continued before them, hoping they’d get some blood for themselves at the end of it. Nell went first with Scooby, Shaggy hot on his brother’s heels as the overgrown dogs picked up the trail. Soon enough ferret footprints turned into tire marks, leading along the road until it led into the outskirts. The tire marks were enough to quell any of Nell’s Kyle-related concerns. If he’d hurt Bex it would have been wolf prints she’d be following. No— this reeked of a human crime. Or at least someone that would drive a getaway car. Heart in her throat, Nell reminded herself that Miriam was retired. Killing Bex wasn’t on the bitch’s list anymore...right? Right? Fuck- they needed to find Bex now. 

The hellhounds paused for a moment at the edge of the road, the tracking spell disappearing into nothingness where the road forked. Something was keeping her magic from finishing its job, but thankfully she had something better now. Swiping a bit of Bex’s leftover blood from her vial, she held it to Scooby’s nose, letting him take a long whiff before the hound was off again. They were getting closer. Nell could feel it, almost as if she could feel Bex calling out to her. If only she could tell Bex that they were coming. To just hold on for a little longer, and let them get there. 

---

If she closed her eyes and listened closely, she could hear two sets of heavy footsteps. Bex didn’t know what that meant. Did he have friends? Were they out here looking for her, too? Or was it just something else? Something else that the terrible forests of White Crest had conjured? Maybe, if she was lucky, they could run into Frank, first, and distract him. She hated that she was hoping for him to get mauled by whatever animals were stalking through this forest, but it was better him than her, right? Her chest was still heaving and her foot was in so much pain. But she needed to keep moving. She needed to keep going. 

Adrenaline rushed through her veins and she pulled herself back up once the footsteps passed, crawling on her hands and knees for a moment. Wherever she was, it didn’t look any different from everywhere else she’d been. She was nearly ready to just collapse and give up. She was so tired of fighting and running. Her arms were shaking, her legs felt like chains dragging behind her, her head was throbbing, and if she’d actually eaten anything that day she was sure it would’ve been on the forest floor by now, laying in a pool with dead leaves and dried sticks and thick mud. She dug her hands in and put her forehead to the ground, muffling the sound of her sob as she let one slip out. But she couldn’t give up now, she just couldn’t. She would keep going because she had people to fight to get back to now.

And then, like a beacon through the haze, a voice. A familiar voice. A voice she’d been so longing to hear, she wondered if she might be hearing things.

“Mina…?” her own voice was small, strangled. Still afraid Frank was nearby, and that he might hear. But, no, it came again. And there was another. “Nell…?” A little louder this time. She clawed her way up using a nearby fallen tree for support. She drew in all her energy, all her breath. “Mina!?” she croaked, and heard it echo through the trees, and hoped it really was her. “Mina, I’m over--” 

Frank had gotten to higher ground, having climbed a tree, surveying the lands. They had hunting pads up in most of the bigger trees around, him and his father had put most of them up while he was still just a boy. He remembered sitting in them for hours, watching creatures go by. Learning how to shoot them from afar, or drop in on them from above. 

This time, he was not looking for prey, even if it felt like he was. She was running from him, and if he didn’t get to her first, this forest might. Or her parents, or that fae. 

He spotted her, crawling out from under an overhang. He went to jump down when he, too, heard the footfalls of creatures. Large and hulking, running fast. Beasts. He leapt from his post to a nearby tree, moving effortlessly through it, on to the next. He was not a large man, more lean and dexterous than most other hunters. But wardens needed speed, they needed agility, over raw brute strength, and his family prized him for his.

He dropped down right behind her, scooped her up, and threw a hand over her mouth. She struggled uselessly. 

It was too late, the beasts-- and rider’s atop-- had found them. 

The iron knife in his hand burned. He knew what he had to do.

[yuusa]

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝟓

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐𝟎𝟗𝟎

𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝟓:

“Her eyes. . .” Your mother trembled as you reached out to her with your smaller hands. “They’re filthy.”

You felt the sharp sensation of pain hitting your cheek as you stumbled back onto the floor. You stared up at your mother with shocked eyes while she glared back at you. You propped yourself on your elbows while you felt the sting of her slap still resting on your cheek.

“M-Mom. . . ? What’s wrong?”

“Don’t call me mom!” She screamed, pulling on her hair as her body trembled with anger. You started to feel extremely scared in the moment, your mother was going through another breakdown.

“Shut up shut up shut up!” She wailed, hitting the walls of your home while you back yourself up against the opposite side, trying to keep your distance away from her. She screamed in rage before throwing some of the tablewares at you while you held your arms up, shielding yourself from the barrage of silverware that collided against the bruises on your skin. 

“Mother. . .” You began to tear up when she walked towards you, her hand outstretched and raised before giving you another slap against your face. Her (h/c) hair framing her face while it pooled over her shoulder, her lips caved downwards to a frown as she stared down at you with hatred. 

“Cover your eyes. I don’t want to see them.”

You tightly shut your eyes as you felt your mother roughly pulling on your hair, the forceful feeling making you terrified of the idea that your hair might even be ripped out of your scalp entirely. She began dragging you across the floor and shoving you into your room, the door slamming shut right behind you with a thud as her footsteps slowly disappeared.

You laid in the cold ground, breathing a sigh of relief as you began cracking your eyes open to stare at the large altar within the room. It was still decorated with various empty bowls and incense, albeit a bit messy and thrown together. The figure of God staring down at your pitiful, childish body with their hardened gaze.

“God. . . Please save me.” You reached out to the figure weakly before your arm fell down to the floor moments after, your energy weakening by the second. Your vision starts to blur as you try to keep your eyes open at God, begging them to free you from this prison. 

You gasped and sat up from your bed, your heart pounding as if someone was knocking on it vigorously. You covered your mouth as you felt your stomach beginning to clench itself, you were feeling extremely sick and you desperately wanted to throw up.

“It was just a dream. . .” You whispered, “it was all just a dream.”

You felt the cool drip of liquid fall from your eyes and onto your lap, your hand reaching out to stroke the cheek your mother touched. Beads of sweat were dripping down from your neck as you struggled to breathe. You choked up a sob as you tried to control your cries.

How many more years must you suffer this curse?

You brought your hand up close to your eyes, your nails only inches away from the skin as you stared into your palm.

You wished there was a way to end this torment.

Your arm began to shake as you tried to stabilize yourself. You tightly shut your eyes before reeling your hand back, lulling yourself back into bed while you continued crying. Your chest started to burn as you struggled for proper oxygen. You pulled the sheet over your head, engulfing your entire figure in darkness as you found yourself slowly drifting away in the sea of emptiness.

You mindlessly drew in your journal, drinking your second carton of milk while you sat on the rooftop with everyone else. Yuki eyed you carefully, noticing that you had taken off your bandages and there were dark circles under your eyes which you tried to conceal with a bit of makeup.

Did something happen to you last night? He continued to eat his meal as he sat near you, listening to the rest of the group talk to each other. Although you joined them this time for lunch, you seemed to be spacing out quite a lot more today.

He saw earlier that one of his fangirls had shoved you against the wall, but you left as quickly as he came to the scene. The moment you left, you had a really nasty glare and the other girls seemed to have fallen to the ground out of pure intimidation. 

You seemed to be more tired and angry today, perhaps you didn’t get enough sleep? That was something he assumed but as he leaned over slightly to peer at your notebook, he can see you were writing down your thoughts about dreams. It was rude to take a peek at your journal, but curiosity was getting to him.

Today in Home Economics you were also quite sluggish when it came to cleaning up. There were times where you accidentally dropped the bowl or almost cut your finger which earned you a light scolding from the teacher about your health. She had previously asked you if you needed to see the nurse to rest but you openly refused her offers. He leaned his cheek against his elbow as he observed you. Uotani turned her head towards Hanajima, whispering into her ear as Tohru conversed with Kyo, clearly too distracted to pay attention to what they were saying.

“The Prince is staring at her again. . .” She whispered, covering her mouth with her hand to conceal their comments. “What do you think he is thinking about?” 

“Indeed he is. I wonder what has happened, earlier (L/n)-san wasn’t doing very well in home economics.” Hanajima replied, spooning rice into her mouth as she started to chew, “she seems to be really distant today.”

Uotani hummed while simultaneously nodding in agreement. Yuki looked around him carefully before shuffling himself over to you quietly, trying not to gain the attention of other people. You noticed his sudden change of position and turned your head towards him, causing him to flinch awkwardly as he started to sweat. 

“Sohma-san, are you alright?” You asked.

He sweatdropped as he cleared his throat, “I was just wondering if you were feeling alright today. You looked very tired during class, you should have rested in the nurse’s room.” 

You shook your head, “I’m fine, it was just a small slip up.”

I wouldn’t say spilling a bowl over your classmate’s head is considered a slip up, he thought. He sighed before finishing his lunch and watching you continue to fill out your journal for the day. 

“Do you have work today after school?” He asked. 

“No, but they have a small celebration party, I just don’t think I feel like going.” You replied, doodling a small bird at the corner of the page. “I’m not really close to anyone there, and I don’t really consider work parties fun, most of them are adults drinking alcohol and I’m only a student.” 

“Hmm. . . I see.” Yuki vaguely remembered his earlier conversation with Tohru, saying that her family was going to take her back in and she will be moving out of their house soon. He wanted to sigh but restrained himself in front of you, he didn’t want to bring up any more problems in front of you right now. 

“Are you coming over for dinner over the weekend?” 

“Maybe, I have to pick up groceries and run some errands, are you fine with waiting for me?” You tilted your head up to look at him. 

He gave you a smile, “of course.” 

You quickly turned away from him with a small blush dusted across your cheeks, “t-then. . . I will. . . come over.” 

Hanajima whispered over to Uotani, “she is blushing, I wonder what they are talking about.” 

“Maybe something about love?”

“Possibly, she’s fidgeting quite a lot actually.” Uotani nodded in agreement. 

Tohru spoke up, scaring both the girls, “what are you guys talking about it?” 

Uotani quickly pulled her into a circle, careful to not disturb the time you had with Yuki as they huddled together. Kyo awkwardly sat by the side, not understanding the situation whatsoever. 

“Tohru, the two of them are talking, you see that?” Uotani mentioned. 

She peered over the blond girl’s shoulder and saw Yuki staring at your journal constantly as you continued writing, the two of you engaging in a conversation that was too quiet for her to hear from a distance. Tohru’s smile seemed to have widened as she turned back to Uotani.

“You’re right!”

“Of course it’s right in front of you!” Kyo angrily whispered, oddly paying attention to the circle despite not actually being fully part of it. He wouldn’t want to attract Yuki’s attention during this time, which seemed out of character for someone such as Kyo. 

“So, what do you guys think they are talking about?” Hanajima whispered, “I feel a wave coming from them, but I do not know how to describe it.” 

“Maybe they’re talking about. . . love!” Tohru swooned.

Kyo rolled his eyes before flopping onto the floor, his arms underneath his head to serve as pillows, “you think that rat would actually talk about love? He’s an absolute airhead.” 

“Hm. . . The prince does seem like the type to not be interested in love.” Uotani placed her finger on her chin as she focused on her thoughts. “Maybe they’re talking about food. . .” 

“That may be true, I am also thinking about food,” Hanajima added.

“You just had lunch!” Kyo replied. 

You and Yuki purposefully ignored their conversation, instead, focusing on your journal which was starting to pile up with various notes and doodles. There were various drawings of animals on each corner of the page, such as the rabbit or cow. When being questioned about the choice of animals, you replied about drawing the zodiac animals. 

Once you had flipped your journal onto a clean page, Yuki spoke up, “do you like to draw?” 

“H-Huh? Umm. . .” You mumbled, “as a kid, I would draw on the floor with my fingers to pass time. Eventually, I just learned to do it with a pencil too.” 

You started sketching out a drawing of an eagle, delicately drawing the feathers of the bird as it rested within a tree of blooming flowers. Yuki hummed as he watched you draw, you pressed your lips together as you offered your pencil towards him.

“Do you want to try?” 

“A-Ah. . . I’m not really good at it so I’m not sure.” He waved to dismiss your hand. “P-Plus I wouldn’t want to ruin something as precious as your journal.” 

“So? It’s okay not to be good at something, it’s better to try and have fun doing it.” You responded. 

Yuki swallowed his own words as he processed your line. Trying something despite not being good at it? It seemed like a death wish to him as he began to doubt his own skills. You might even laugh at him for being so terrible at drawing or mock him on the inside, either one was horrible for him. He definitely couldn’t live with the idea of you lau-

“Sohma-san, if you think I’m going to laugh at you I’m not.” You said, pulling out a second pencil to continue drawing the flowers on the tree, “not everyone can be good at something they never tried at. It takes a lot of experience to make something look good. . . Besides. . . .” 

“Most of the things you do are already good enough. . . ” You whispered, albeit too quiet for him to have even picked up your words. 

He smiled before taking up one of your pencils, “I guess you have a point.” 

You slid yourself closer to him so that the page would be in the middle, your voice guiding him on anything he felt unsure about drawing. Your shoulder bumped against his but you ignored the feeling, focusing your attention on drawing the details of the bird. He lifted up his pencil to begin drawing his part of the page while the others stared at the two of you silently. 

For the rest of the lunch, Yuki was drawing a small rat sitting next to the eagle on the blooming sakura tree. The animal leaned up against the bird in content. Although messy and inexperienced, you found this memory to be precious to keep within your journal. 

[peachiekoo]

One Beep || JJK

“I think it’s unfair that we can’t do anything about what our heart want.”

⇢ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ⇢ Genre: Angst; Fluff; Romance ⇢ Warning(s): Hints of divorce, slight flashbacks to dark past moments, denialism at certain points ⇢ Word Count: 2.04K ⇢ Posted: April 10, 2020 ⇢ A/n: Hey, so I made a fic based off of a show I’ve watched recently called “Love Alarm”. It has since became one of my favorite k-dramas! I’m extremely happy that this idea suddenly came to me. (I deadass don’t think I’ve ever been this hyped to write a fic) I hope you guys enjoy and also there might grammar mistakes which I sincerely apologize for!

Everything that happened was an accident actually.

Maybe everything would’ve been fine if you only went to class at least a good two minutes later. All of it could’ve been avoided if you weren’t trying to go run an errand for a friend. But then again, who knows?

It was a Monday morning at exactly 7:50 am when you got a text from one of your closest childhood friends, Chaeyoung.

[7:50 am] Chae🍊: bubs,, where r u??

[7:50 am] You: studying in the library

[7:52 am] You: why?

[8:01 am] Chae🍊: do you think you could drop off my paper to ms.eve? i left it in your bag

[8:01 am] You: rn?

[8:03 am] Chae🍊: I mean,,, I would appreciate if you did

[8:03 am] Chae🍊: <3

You sighed and rolled your eyes. Classic Chae move, you thought to yourself. You closed the book you had checked out beforehand as you neatly placed it in your bag before you looked for her paper.

Finally, finding the paper slightly wrinkled, you made your way to the exit. You decided to take the shorter way than the usual way since you wanted to quickly get back to studying again before heading towards your next class.

While walking, you were busying yourself with your phone. Looking at a few unread messages and scrolling on twitter before you heard a group of people discussing a new app. 

It wasn’t your intention to eavesdrop but something one of them mentioned was an app that could tell if someone had a crush on anyone in a 10-meter radius.

“Unbelievable,” you scoffed quietly.

You continued walking past them as you decided to search up about it when you were recommended an app, LoveBeep. You chuckled at it. Do people really believe this? From the app details it’s popular at the moment. Are people just that gullible.

You were so engrossed by the app that you didn’t even see the tall figure in front of you. “Sorry! I-” Your sentence stops in the tip of your tongue when you realize who it is. He reaches a hand out for you without even throwing a second glance at you.

It was Jeon Jungkook. You two were never once friends but you shared a few good past memories together as your mom used to babysit him every once in awhile growing up. Now he probably wants nothing to do with you.

You felt your heart race in anxiousness. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled yourself up before dusting yourself off and heading towards the main reason you were on the floor anyways.

You suddenly stopped though. You turned on your heels before gently tapping him on the shoulders. He looked at you with an annoyed look shadowing over his face.

“I’m sorry.” you sputtered.

All you heard was an annoyed sigh before he faced all the way towards you. He glared down at you. You felt as if you were shrinking, both mentally and physically. You watch him softly chuckling before he turned his gaze back to you.

“I don’t want your dirty ass apology, Y/n. Your mom has already enough,” He spits. “Why are you apologizing for what your mom did? Did you have any part in it? You pity me don’t you.”

You took a few steps back unconsciously before he grabbed your arm and pulled you close. He placed his mouth over your ear. “The fact that you constantly try to fix your mom’s dirty deeds is annoying. She should be able to feel the pain that she’s given others.”

Your eyes water at that for yet, he wasn’t wrong. She did bad things, but that didn’t make her a bad person. You pushed the boy off of you with resentment in your gaze.

It was silent for a moment before your voice broke it. “You know nothing. Nothing at all. You think you got it all figured out don’t you,” you hissed. “Don’t you!” you raved.

You felt the burning tears sliding down your cheeks. “I’ve tried so hard to be generous to you. Do you think I wanted things to be like this? Do you think you’re the only going through things?” you declared. “Go to hell, Jeon!” you shouted before storming off.

Finally, dropping the papers off, you continued on with the rest of your day. Doing your very best to avoid the brown-haired boy at all costs.

It was a late night, you were bundled under your covers. You looked across the room to see a Chaeyoung peacefully asleep in her own bed. You sighed as you rolled into another position so you could finally go to sleep but it seemed nearly impossible no matter how hard you tried.

You looked over at your phone and you remembered that ridiculous app from earlier. You grabbed it from the nightstand before typing the name into the app store before downloading

Once it was finished downloading, you inspect med the app. The first thing to pop up was a loading screen that displayed tips about the app. Once it finished loading you were introduced to a welcome sign before it faded out into 3 rings with a zero in the middle of them.

It seemed fake. Like an app, a seven-year-old girl would download to try to find her imaginary prince charming. Nevertheless, it still intrigued you. You stayed up the rest of the night trying to find out more about before you crashed around 4 am.

A few months later, it finally starting to begin spring. The incident with Jeon is far in the back of year head as you sit on the bench and enjoy the warm air and the few blows of cool air surrounding you as you took a considerable bite out of your apple, listening to Chaeyoung as she rants about her latest “life problems”.

You feel content for the first time in a while. You feel in your gut it won’t last for long though. You inhale a deep breath to just take the moment in. You let your eyes flutter closed for a second, reassuring Chaeyoung that you’re still listening to her.

Suddenly you hear your phone beep. You look at the notification to see from LoveBeep, saying exactly, “Someone in a 10-meter radius loves you”. You were just about to put your phone back since it wasn’t like it was the first time it had beeped before but you had felt a certain urge to look up.

You looked up to see Jungkook walking past you with a friend. You were just about to ignore the occurrence when you realize, he was, in fact, within a 10-meter radius when your phone buzzed. You felt your cheeks tingling at that.

No, it wasn’t him. It can’t be him. You convinced yourself. You’re in a school, there are tons of other students within a 10-meter radius of you. He was also walking with a friend meaning it could’ve been him.

The incident could’ve been easily ignored if for the past few passing you had with him within the last month didn’t result in your phone beeping. Every. Single. Time.

You kept trying to ascertain that it was another reason for this but what really got you was when you were in art class early, drawing a few sketches to waste time. You had felt your phone vibrate as you got other notification from LoveBeep. You had heard the door open before you turned your attention over to where the sound was made.

It had fully hit you. Jungkook is the one beeping you.

You were currently waiting by the exit of the school since Chae was taking way more longer than expected oddly since it was normally you that was always late.

The majority of the students had already left school, only a few people walking around which you assumed was for the after school clubs. You decided on going into the school to go find her when you saw the boy down the hall.

“Jungkook, we need to talk,” you said as you walked up to him. You felt your phone vibrate again in your pocket before you let out a sigh.

“What?” he asked nonchalantly. He looked up at you like you were, in fact, wasting his time.

You tilted your head at him slightly look at him straight in his eyes. You just wanted to get it over with.

How can he act so damn rude yet still have feeling for you? Seems kinda fucked up.

“Listen, I don’t wanna be here just as much as you,” you smirked at him. “I know you like me, Jeon.” All you heard in reply was bluff of air coming through his sealed lips.

He rebuked, “What in the actual fuck are you talking about? You genuinely think I out of all fucking people would like you?”

Annoyed, you pulled out your phone and went directly Into the app.

“Then what is this?”

“An app.”

“What app jackass.”

“LoveBeep obviously.”

“Okay, and what does it say.”

“I’m not reading that you can do it yourself.”

You groaned in annoyance. “Are you just that fucking difficult?” You shot the phone right in his face. “You like me.” You disputed

“You’re gonna believe an app?” he yapped through tight lips. An obvious thick tension in the air had you fidgeting with your school skirt. The reality of it hit you.

This dickhead, the one who is steadily hateful towards you. The one who you once were close with. Yet, he is someone who had a full reason to hate. Not hurting any less though.

You hated him. But you loved him. Not in the cheesy ‘I’m in love with my enemy’ type of way. But the ‘You and me against the world’ type of way. A platonic love that was now one-sided from something which you strictly blame on yourself no matter how many times you tell yourself otherwise.

Your mood suddenly turning more sour at the realization, you mutter out a barely audible “Why?” before keeping your gaze with his eyes.

“You are so sick and twisted. I know she fucked up everything but you just let it out on me and then when I feel like I did it you have then you yell at me about why am I trying to fix shit that I didn’t do. It’s because of you!” you exploded.

Not stopping there, you step to up still maintaining the connected glare as you continue on. “Then you have the fucking audacity to like me? What the fuck is wrong with you.” You wept, your emotions finally overpowering you. You were so filled with anger but it was useless because there was nothing you could do about it. “It’s so unfair you can live your life like this while I’m just here.” you ended.

“Live my life like this? My parents aren’t even in the same fucking country because of her and you think your life is tough because I developed unwanted feelings for you?” He argued.

Anger flurrying through you, your arm flung at him involuntarily, slapping him in the process. “You don’t know everything!” you screeched tear stains down your cheeks before storming off.

As you were walking off, you heard him yell out to you causing you to stop. “I think it’s unfair that we can’t do anything about what our heart wants,” You heard him let out an emotionless chuckle. “If we could do you think I would like someone as low as you?” he deadpanned before listening to his footsteps walk off.

“Fuck you, Jungkook.” you gritted out before continuing on. Deciding on going home, you decided to text Chaeyoung ahead of time.

[4:51 pm] You: im gonna walk home early

[4:51 pm] Chae🍊: ? did something happen :(

[4:55 pm] Chae🍊: y/n???

[4:56 pm] You: can we talk about it later please

[4;56 pm] Chae🍊: ofc bubs

[4;57 pm] Chae🍊: do you want me to order your favorite takeout when i get home?

[4:57 pm] You: yes pls

And that was the last time you had any interaction with Jungkook.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this series!

[hybridequalist]

Thinking Out Loud (Part 5)

I live! I write! It’s here!

Previous Chapter (tumblr link)

Taglist (Lemme know if you wanna join this, btw):  @nesli26, @manga-crazy, @venomemes, @galleyleelol, @makingtimemine, @jackie-sugarskull, @nightshade7117, @skysthelimit291, @randomshizzles101, @inumorph, @snow-massacre, @phantom-fangirl-stuff, @pixellated-sparks, @vsalamandor2, @otaku-mai, @snarky-badger

Your legs were bouncing as you sat in Lauren’s front seat, staring blankly out the window. You were focused on your breathing techniques to settle yourself, settle your pre-outing jitters. It had been a surprise, after all.

Eddie had called earlier and asked if you were available for a rescheduled lunch outing. You’d given the affirmative and Lauren had helpfully offered to bring you downtown to the cafe on the way to some errands she needed to run. You knew that she was offering just to be nice and give you some comfort and more time to transition to being in a social situation, but you appreciated it...even if it felt like your mom driving you to a High School dance.

The car halted at a stoplight and you automatically glanced at your landlady, just in case she wanted to talk to you.

Her finger tapped the steering wheel before she twisted to look at you, signing “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“If I’m not,” you sign back, “you’ll be the first to know. Just keep your phone close. But I think I’ll be okay. Eddie is nice.”

Lauren gave you a meaningful glance as the light turned green. Her thoughts reflected the look, full of a fierce protectiveness, one that all but screamed "if he makes you uncomfortable I will end him."

You fidgeted, tugging at the edge of your frilled blouse. You’d wanted to dress up since it was the first time in a while that you had gone out with a friend, but you were starting to remember why you never wore your nicer clothes: they were itchy and still felt too new. Just the minor friction of the less-than-comfortable fabric was stressing your nerves even more.

You took notice of the anxious energy building and took a few deep breaths before resuming the meditation breathing pattern you had learned in one of your infrequent therapy sessions. After a few minutes of focus, your heart rate slowed and you felt more grounded. You glanced away from your feet and out the window, realizing that Lauren was now looking for a parking space or some free pavement space to drop you off.

You pulled out your phone and started typing.

We just made it. Looking for a spot to stop.

Your phone indicated that Eddie had read the text. You pulled down the sunshade and checked your appearance, fiddling with the microscopic flaws that had developed.

This might be a meeting between friends, but Eddie was still a relatively new acquaintance--he was still investigating you and deciding what labels to give you. It was a time to put your best foot forward. Especially since he'd gotten a glimpse of your...issues.

You glanced at your phone, expecting to see the beginning indication of a return text, but instead you heard some muffled shouting. You automatically turned your head towards the sidewalk and saw a familiar figure waving at the car from the street.

“ EDDIE! SHE SAW US! CAN YOU  HEAR US?!”

The mental yelling rang through your skull, making you wince a little at the invisible volume. You waved out at them and tapped Lauren on the shoulder before she crossed the intersection.

“Eddie is over there,” you pointed out, letting her take the time to follow your gestures and resume looking back at you. “I’ll get out here. I will call your phone if I need to get picked up and text you the details.”

“If it vibrates, I’m turning right back around,” she promised. The two of you shared a quick hug before you unbuckled yourself and stepped out. Careful of other cars, you quickly speedwalked over to the sidewalk where your friends waited.

“Good to see you again,” Eddie greeted you, lifting his hand for a high five. You smiled and reciprocated.

“ DON’T IGNORE ME ,” Venom complained, sounding for all the world like a kicked puppy. You reached up and patted the sleeve of Eddie’s jacket, where you knew the alien was hiding. The preening feeling from Venom’s thoughts made you want to laugh aloud.

“So...lunch?” Eddie asked. “Have you tried this new cafe? They really go hard into the whole ‘sourdough is the food of San Francisco' thing. Probably meant to get the tourists, but the sandwiches still are great.”

There were a lot of things to respond to in that brief sentence and you fumbled with your conversation cards, flipping through them to string together a sentence that made sense.

“No. That sounds interesting. Let’s go.”

“It’s just this way,” he gestured, straightening from bending closer to read your cards. “Stick close; we might hit some of the lunch rush on the way in.”

You grabbed another card.

“I’m not good with crowds.”

“Then we can order to go and find somewhere else to sit. It’s no problem.”

“ WE WERE GOING TO SHOW YOU MY SURPRISE FROM LAST TIME ANYWAY. THE PRIVACY WILL HELP ,” Venom added.

Eddie offered his arm and you blinked at him before you caught his thoughts. He wanted to make sure you stayed beside them since you couldn’t very easily let him know you were being left behind--not like how most people let their friends know. Venom’s feelings were tacked onto the thought, revealing that he liked the thought of you holding onto them because he could protect you better the closer you were.

You looped your arm through Eddie’s.

The walk to the cafe was silent from a vocal standpoint: Eddie and Venom conversed with one another about their thoughts on the food and their past experience, the more deliberate wording telling you that they were actually talking to you without expecting any replies. All the same, you couldn’t help but feel awkward at how every passerby viewed you--both pedestrian and driver. Most thought you were on a date, others were convinced you just didn’t want to get separated. Almost everyone wondered why you and Eddie weren’t having a conversation. After all, wasn’t it the polite thing to do when out for a walk?

“ ARE YOU LISTENING TO US, MORSEL? ”

The symbiote’s question pulled you back. You’d gotten caught up in the overwhelming noise of everyone else’s thoughts, losing your ability to distinguish internal words from external ones with the din of other people’s conversations mixed with their observations of you. But Venom’s mental voice was much louder than the humans walking past and was able to cut through the ceaseless hum.

You immediately reached for one of your cards, feeling the well worn, bent corners and not needing to check it for the words on it.

“Sorry.”

You reached for another, equally used phrase.

“It’s difficult to explain.”

“Hey, no worries,” Eddie replied, tone deliberately soft so as to comfort you. “You just looked like you were spacing out a bit and I wanted to make sure you were okay. We’re almost there.”

You nodded and let your friend resume guiding you, deliberately focusing on his and Venom’s thoughts to let the others fade into background noise.

“ I tried your name a few times, but you weren’t answering. I’m glad you’re okay for now. Do you think you’ll be okay in the shop? Just because it’s closer quarters. ”

“ EDDIE, WE FOUND HER IN A GROCERY STORE. I’M SURE SHE CAN HANDLE A FOOD TRANSACTION. ”

“ Do you remember the spoons metaphor I told you about? ”

“ AND I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE SPOONS! IT JUST MAKES ME THINK OF FOOD AND I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY. ”

Their banter was comforting. Their partnership might still be relatively new by normal standards, but spending all their time together--literally every waking moment--had quickly built their bond beyond what two ordinary humans could achieve in similar circumstances. They had actually reached a point where words, while convenient to keep their identities distinct, were not entirely necessary. Images, sensations, memories, all were equal communication tools.

It almost made you jealous at how easily they could literally share their thoughts with one another. You were stuck having to pretend you were oblivious to what people really felt.

The cafe was nice and cozy. There thankfully wasn’t a huge line--it gave you plenty of time to pick what you wanted from the menu and look at the carefully selected decor of the shop (mostly to ignore the man standing behind you, who was actively checking out anyone who looked to be of age and was daring to show even an inch of skin). You typed up your order on your phone and showed it to the cashier, who thankfully took it all in stride and smoothly got the process started. Eddie ordered a healthy sandwich and a slice of very rich chocolate cake, which had Venom purring at the thought of dessert.

You slipped out of the cafe, the line having grown significantly behind you and your friends even in just the short time. You could feel a headache forming from the combined vocal and mental chatter as you held on to Eddie and let him guide you away.

“Are you okay with taking a few backroads?” he asked and you saw he’d noticed your scrunched brow. “Just for some peace and quiet away from the main street? It’s probably only going to get louder.”

You nodded vigorously and Eddie picked up his pace, practically pulling you along with his brisk speed. He guided you through an alley onto a much narrower footpath with significantly fewer pedestrians, hesitating as he silently asked Venom to help him remember the way to a green space he remembered eating at before.

You took the break to check yourself over for signs of overstimulation. So far, nothing that some cleansing breaths and food wouldn’t take care of.

And then, like a ping on a psychic radar, you heard a familiar mind call your name.

“ Y/N?! But didn’t the suits snatch her?! ”

Your eyes snapped over to where you felt his thoughts and your heart began to race as you saw a face you’d prayed would never cross paths with you again.

At a first glance, he wasn’t a physically imposing man: barely five and a half feet tall, he didn’t show any obvious muscle or have any “red flags” to his features that might suggest he was dangerous. You almost would have looked right past him--his hair hadn’t been a blonde crew cut when you’d seen him last--but those deep hazel eyes held yours prisoner. You didn’t even need your powers to see the obvious greed ravaging his thoughts.

“Y/N? Hey, are you with me?”

Eddie’s words felt like they came from far away, even with Venom echoing them with his impressive volume. You were just staring at the other man, a silent scream trapped in your mute throat.

Your sight was suddenly filled with brown leather as Eddie stood in front of you, bending over to look you in the eye.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “Are you okay? Are you present? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Excuse me.” The familiar voice made your skin break out in goosebumps as a chill ran down your spine. “Ma’am, are you going to be alright?”

You jolted backwards, throwing your hands up to clamp over your ears. It was a futile attempt to block out the feeling of his mind, his thoughts, the way he felt the world and took delight in your weakness, in your fear, in the worry of the others who were witnessing your distress…

“ EDDIE, MASK? ” Venom asks.

“ It’s too public ,” his partner protested silently even as he verbally stated, “Don’t crowd her please.”

“Let’s go,” you signed frantically, unable to stop fixating. “Please.”

“Come on,” Eddie ushers you,  holding out a hand for you to take--which you did with an iron grip. “It’s not far.”

You kept pace with your friends as you put rapid distance between yourself and your old acquaintance, still highly aware of those hazel eyes on you. The sound of the city faded as your feet hit grass and Eddie sat you down onto a bench, dropping to one knee by the armrest.

“What do you need me to do?” he asks, looking you over.

“ WHAT CAN WE DO? ” the symbiote echoed.

You just kept holding Eddie’s hand, fighting tears as you made yourself breathe deeply, clinging tighter when he tried to retract.

They were concerned. They wanted to help. And that was enough to help ground you to the point where you could pull out your phone.

I’ve met that man before. His name is Mitch. We used to be friends. It didn’t end well.

“ I’M GOING TO EAT HIS HEAD! ” Venom howled. His human counterpart took the revelation a little better: he took a second to process it--suppressing the flurry of questions that flooded his mind--and then he stood to join you on the bench.

“Do you need to talk about it now, or do you just want to put it aside for now?”

Put it aside. Please.

“Not a problem. Shall we eat?”

You were a little surprised he agreed so quickly--especially with how vocal Venom was being--but it was a relief nonetheless. You opened your take-out bag and retrieved your food, setting about enjoying it despite the residual shakiness in your hands.

You were about half done when a realization struck you, making you bite your tongue by accident. You jolted your phone out.

Did you respond to me signing back there?

Eddie read it and then laughed a little.

“Uh, so about the surprise Vee had for you...I’ll let him show you.”

“ FINALLY! ”

You watched curiously as Eddie relaxed and then his hands began to move--and you could see in his mind that he wasn’t in charge of the motions. This was all Venom.

The motions were careful and slow, but you sat straight up as Eddie’s hands started forming familiar words.

“Hi. My name is--” there was some hesitation as they briefly conferred with what name to use but they quickly resumed-- “V-E-N-O-M. It is good to talk to you.”

You gasped and gave them a brief applause. You then returned to typing.

How did you learn that so quickly?

“Vee has lots of free time when I’m sleeping,” Eddie shrugged, smiling as he regained the use of his arms. “He’s been looking at Sign dictionaries trying to string that whole phrase together.”

“ I’M BETTER AT FINGERSPELLING ,” the alien admitted, still basking in pride. “AND I KNOW ALL OF THE BASICS: HUNGRY, EAT, DRINK, YES, NO, GO, STOP, PLEASE, THANK YOU AND CHOCOLATE.”

You laughed soundlessly as Eddie rolled his eyes.

But why? You asked. Why go to the trouble?

“ BECAUSE WE WANT TO MAKE IT EASIER TO TALK TO YOU MORE! ” There is no hesitation in Venom’s response. “ IF YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG QUICKLY! ”

“Not that we’re expecting trouble,” Eddie adds. “I just figured it would be helpful in general. But you’re gonna have to forgive me if he--” he tapped his temple--“has to do some translating in the beginning since he’ll pick it up way faster than me.”

You could feel tears pricking at your eyes again. They were willing to learn Sign for you? No other friend had been willing to do that for you since High School.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” They’d noticed your watery eyes. They were worried. They knew you had been stressed out during the whole outing and wanted to make you comfortable and safe.

Nothing,” you fingerspelled, taking care to make each letter distinct so they could more easily follow. “Thanks.”

“ EDDIE, I WANT THE CAKE NOW ,” Venom complained, changing gears faster than you or Eddie expected. “ WE HAD YOUR HEALTHY SANDWICH, NOW GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF. ”

“ You absolute addict ,” Eddie thought back, taking a determined bite of mostly lettuce just to make the symbiote pout. You gave another silent laugh as you too returned to eating, happy to just listen to their chatter for a while longer.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

In Corners

Calum never though he’d be a dad like this. But when it comes to his daughter, he’s always in her corner. Always and forever. 

What happens when you put together H’s love for angst+ Single!Dad Calum+ Coming Out?

This. This is the product. 

CW: Mentions of Death and health issues. Coming out. Some slight mentions of homophobia. Anxiety. 

Enjoy my masterlist

Feel free to support me on Kofi.

****No one has my permission to post this fic, including translations. Copyright be-ready-when-i-say-go, 2020.******

_________________________________

Calum shouldn’t have sat down. That is his mistake. He figures he wouldn’t fall asleep. Not this fast, of course. That will always be false hope. That will always be him giving himself too much credit. If he sat down too long without anything to do, especially in the comfy single seater, it would be game over for him. He has an hour before he has to pick up Ariyana from Elizabeth’s house. He dropped her off earlier in the afternoon and said he’d be back to get her before dinner time. 

And after running errands, first to get groceries, then take the dogs to the vet, and be home for the cable company, all Calum really wants is a nap. Just a quick one. That’s all it’ll be. Half an hour and then he can head out to get her. The both of them can decide what to get for dinner, if they’re going to cook or if they’ll give in and order a veggie pizza. There’s nothing like just sitting with a couple boxes of pizza and piling plates with maybe a slice too many and dancing from the counter to the kitchen table to keep any slice from sliding off. 

He feels his head fall forward on his neck and he snaps up. It takes him a moment, realizing he’s slumped down in the living room. Glancing up at the clock, he’s half an hour late. “Shit,” he exclaims, bolting up from the seat, grabbing his keys and wallet. The door is a slamming thud behind him and his keys jingle as he works to get the right one in his fingers.  

Inside the car, he pulls up Ari’s number and sets the phone into the hook on the air vent so he can drive and have both hands free. It rings and rings. Just as the back tires hit asphalt, she picks up. “Fell asleep again didn’t you, Dad?”

“I keep telling you that seat has some sort of magic in it. I’m on my way.”

She laughs. In the background, Calum can hear Elizabeth’s mother, her voice soft and sweet. “He’s on his way. Thanks, Mrs. Banks,” Ariyana says. “Want me to call in the veggie pizza?”

“Please. I’m sorry, baby girl. Should’ve set an alarm on my phone.”

“It’s alright, Dad. I lost track of time too. I’ll call it in.”

“Love you. Thanks.”

“Of course. Love you too.” 

It still blows Calum’s mind that for the last fourteen years it’s been just Ariyana and him, and somehow he’s managed to do the whole Dad thing well. Ariyana isn’t his kid, an apparent fact when she stands next to him at the grocery stores when they go shopping together or when they go out to the movies, on the rare occasions that Ariyana doesn’t think Calum’s lame. Her much darker than his own, almost like her skin swallowed up the night sky. 

But he wouldn’t trade it in for the world. Even though it meant he lost one of his best friends along the way, complications post-birth seemed to just linger and linger on until they unfortunately claimed Ariyana’s mother, Jazmyne. But both her and Calum knew things were going south fast. They both knew that one day would be her last and when Jazymyne told Calum that no matter what happened to her, she wanted him to take care of her baby, he agreed without hesitation. Ari was close to a year old when her mother died, leaving Calum to the wilds of parenthood alone. 

He was there for everything before that. When Ariyana first kicked in the womb. When the doctors let visitors in, he was the first to hold her. He watched her crawl for the first time, attempting to keep up with Duke who was shockingly good with a baby. Maybe it was because they were kindred spirits. All he did was sleep and eat all day and Ariyana as a baby did the same. He has so many pictures of Ari and Duke at his place on the couch, fast asleep, when Jazmyne had doctor’s appointments or whenever she was just too physically tired to do much of anything. Calum always kept his doors opened. He loved, and still loves, Ariyana, so there was never a problem when he got to watch her for a couple hours. 

Ariyana had a game she liked to play, especially when she was being put down for a nap, where when she finally could support her upper half, she would hide her face in Calum’s chest and then push up. He would kiss her forehead or cheek and she’d giggle before hiding her face again. It would go for ten minutes, a cycle of their version of peekaboo and kisses until sleep finally overtook her right there on his chest and Calum would be left, hearing the echo of her sweet giggle, the way only a baby can laugh, with one hand on her back, keeping her secure to his body.

Calum feels the tears filling his lower lashes and tries not to think too much about how much Ariyana has grown up since then. How at almost 25, he became a dad to the sweetest kid in the world. And it might not have been under circumstances that he would’ve liked, or ones that he would’ve expected, but he couldn’t deny the blessing Ariyana was in his life. So how much complaining could Calum really do?

Turning the corner onto the block, Calum can see Ariyana and Elizabeth standing on the front porch, huddled together. And almost, as the sounds of his tires rolling over of the street, are fire, they jump apart. Elizabeth falls into the swing and starts rocking as if she were doing it the entire time. Calum knows. He suspected it long before when suddenly Ari talked about Elizabeth all the time. They stayed after school a lot, on homework as the excuse. But Calum never pushed it. 

Instead, Calum parks. He opens his door just as the front door opens and Elizabeth’s mom steps out waving. “Thank you again, Jodie,” Calum calls out as he stands behind the opened driver side door. 

“Anytime. You know Ariyana’s welcome over literally whenever. Maybe next week, girls, we can do that candle thing I was showing you guys.”

“Mom,” Elizabeth groans. 

“What? It looks fun,” Jodie defends. It’s easy to see the relation between the two of them. Elizabeth getting her mother’s dark and wild curls. “You guys said you wanted something to do the next time you hung out? I figured what’s to lose by learning how to make candles?”

“Yeah, but they’re in those elementary school milk cartons.”

Jodie shakes her head. Her gaze lands on Calum and they both share a knowing look before Jodie turns back to Elizabeth, hands up and palms out. “Well, think about it then. Maybe we can find some other craft. Doesn’t have to be candles.”

Both girls are glancing at each other, communicating something and Calum has a good idea what it is. But with a small wave and smile, Ariyana steps down from the porch and over to the passenger side of Calum’s SUV. They both climb inside, doors closing at the same time. “Pizza should be done by the time we get there,” Ari says, sliding the seatbelt across her. 

“Cool. Tomorrow, I’ll cook.”

“You mean, tomorrow you’ll attempt to cook but I’ll have a take out place on standby.”

“My cooking’s gotten better over the years.”

“I’ll give you that,” she laughs. Then falls silent, mostly car rides are full of her talking about her day, asking questions, making terrible puns about the street names. But now, she fiddles with her phone, staring out of the window as the world passes by them. And she questions for a brief moment if they are passing the world by. Because it feels like it, as she sits next to her dad. 

Ariyana knows about her mother dying, she knows about Calum adopting her because of her mother’s wishes. She’s grateful for it. She can’t imagine what her life would be like if it weren’t for Calum, if she wound up with someone else, if she wound up with her grandmother, who lived back in the South. Calum never kept her family out of her life, but it’s always a question that plagues her. What would her life be like if things had been different? What would she be like if her grandmother took her in? Would her grandmother dress her up every Sunday like she did to her mother? Would she be eating oatmeal in the mornings with bacon on the side and just on the other side of the kitchen table a Bible would sit? 

She’s not sure why her mother didn’t leave her to her grandmother. Though she’s asked Calum several times, he never really answers it. Her grandmother never treated her badly. When she spent the summers at her house, running through the neighborhood with the other kids, and they scrambled to be inside doors or on porch steps as the streetlights came on, her grandmother would always be waiting, hands on her hips, with a shake of her head. ‘Cutting it close, like you gunnin for trouble,’ her grandmother would always say. 

But on the table would be her plate for dinner. Her aunts and uncle would always hook her up with the latest sneakers. Ariyana learned how to walk not to put creases in her shoes. She spent many nights sitting in her mother’s childhood room, cleaning sneakers with toothbrushes. She stared up at peeling wallpaper, feeling the soft pressure of reassuring hands on her shoulders. No one else would be in the room with her. 

And Calum never sheltered her from any of that. He took really good care of her and she never felt like she couldn’t tell him anything. She never felt like there was a disconnect. Until now. Because in her soul, deep in her gut, she knows that she wouldn’t have to worry about this with her mother. Her mother would just get her. There was nothing else in the world besides a mother’s love. Or maybe Ariyana just yearned for her mother right now that it made it seem like that. Maybe all she wants right now is that soothing touch, like when Grandma’s worn leathery palms would cup her cheeks and every ache was soothed. Every worry was squashed in just one touch. 

“I’ll be right back. Don’t drive away now,” Calum teases, sliding out of the truck. 

Ariyana finally notices that they’re pulled up right in front of the doors of the pizza shop. She nods, glancing over to Calum. Does he know? Is he going to flip? She hopes he wouldn’t. Ariyana hopes that the track record of telling Calum major news proves accurate for future reactions. Like shockingly, he didn’t flip a lid when she was near failing trig. Mostly because she was too busy passing notes to Elizabeth. But she covered that up by saying the teacher just taught it in a confusing manner and Calum asked her if she wanted a tutor. That was all. He encouraged her that she could always try the subject again in the summer or maybe again once school started, but he didn’t give her a spill about how failing classes would never get her into college, or never help her make a living in the world. 

But almost failing trig and having to tell him this, the truth, admitting that even she’s not sure about the label--that could never compare. 

The car door opens and Calum slides the pizza onto the floor to keep it safe. Just as he gets into the driver seat, Ariyana speaks. “Can we go visit Mom? Like after dinner or whenever it really works?”

Calum nods. “We can go right now if you want. I have blankets in the back. Make it a picnic.”

“Those are the dogs blankets but sure, they’ll suffice.”

“Hey, now, the dogs don’t complain about those nice soft blankets.” He says it on the shot to make her laugh. He can tell something in weighing on her mind. That’s not his Ariyana but sometimes things are just hard to express verbally. He gets that. 

“They lack the ability too. So…” she laughs, watching as Calum makes a dramatic show of rolling his eyes and sighing. 

The smell of cheese and marinara sauce fills the car. There’s not even the radio playing. Calum lets her have control most of the time. According to her, all he ever plays are the throwback jams. Though occasionally in her shuffle she slips in one of the songs he’s mentioned or played before. She only puts the ‘good ones’ on though, her exact phrasing when Calum brought it up once. 

Upon arriving at the cemetery, Calum pauses, watching Ariyana slip out of the car. She skirts around to the trunk, pulling out the blankets. “Trunk water?” she asks, referring the case of water Calum keeps in the trunk. Mostly for emergencies and because he’s had a case always on hand. 

“I got it,” Calum returns as he grabs the pizza. He wants to ask if everything is okay. If there’s anything he needs to do, or anything she wants him to do, but he’s not sure if the question warrants verbalization. Something is not okay. Something is going on. Though he doesn’t want to push her at the same time. 

Walking over the grass, Calum doesn’t even take note of the headstones that lead their way. Most of the time he does. Most of the time he hates coming here. He never really thought he would’ve griefed a major loss in his twenties. He didn’t think life would be that cruel to him. Yet it had. Yet, he buried her six feet deep, let the oak be a barrier between her flesh and whatever creatures lived in the dirt. But this whole row, the plot they had to pick out together while Ariyana was still much too young, still a babbling baby on one of their hips. Calum can’t remember anymore the specifics. 

This whole trek though shows him he’s not alone. Many others have had those same feelings. Many others have cried a flood of tears before him and he can only hope those that cry for him don’t feel too burdened. He hopes that they know his life began and had to end too. It’s at the plot as Ariyana starts to unfold the blanket that Calum wonders if she wants to go to stay with her grandmother. Before she spent a lot of summers there because Calum had to go for a tour, but even during her Christmas breaks, she asked to go more often. Because he has to leave during the school year too sometimes, Ariyana stays with Luke’s wife and their kids. It works out, never find the fact that they have to make it work. 

“Do you want to live with your grandmother, Ari?”

Ariyana looks over to Calum, her brows pulled in together in confusion. “Did you nap so hard, Dad, that you lost your marbles? I love Grandma Gigi. But no, I don’t want to live with her.”

“I just--you’ve been quiet. Like something’s wrong. And I didn’t--I didn’t want you thinking that you couldn’t talk to me about whatever it is that’s going on. I know it’s not easy when I have to travel so many months at a time. But like, if you wanted something more stable, I don’t fault you. I wouldn’t be mad.”

Their blankets are straightened out and Ariyana places her arms under the boxes. “It’s crazy, yeah. But let’s be real. I have like four rooms at this point, one at every uncle’s house. Birthdays are like, insane when we all get together to have a party. And I like it, just us. Besides you don’t flip like Grandma Gigi about curfew. Though her cooking is better.” She sees Calum’s faux offense and quickly adds on, “But I do love you. You taught me how to ride a bike. You’re there to help me study when I can’t decode Shakespeare. You paid for me to learn how to fail at tap dancing.”

“You were getting better, sweetheart.”

“I was awful, Dad. And you taught me how to play football and helped me make junior varsity. There’s no one else that could’ve done all that.”

“You were an easy baby. A difficult teen. But an easy baby.”

“I won’t take offense at you calling me difficult. For now. It might come back up in other later arguments.”

Calum laughs, nodding his head towards the ground. “Believe me, I expect it.”

They finally sit, the pizza still warm as they take their first bites. Ariyana really asked to come out here because maybe she could tell Calum without actually having to say it. Maybe her mother would give her strength even beyond the grave. It would be like, coming out to both the people she cared about the most, at the same time. She wouldn’t have to do this over, and over, and over. Except her uncles of course. 

Grandma Gigi is going to be a whole other battle. That will have to be a battle she’ll have to fight when it comes up. Right now, she has to tell Calum. With nothing but crust in her fingers, she looks over to Calum. “Dad,” she starts. She’s never called him anything other than that, though she knows he’s not her biological father. She’s never known him as anything other than that. She’s never known him as anyone that would freak, or stop loving her, or shun her for anything. 

“What’s up, baby girl?” If Ariyana doesn’t want to move in with her grandmother, Calum’s at a loss. He just wants her to be happy. And healthy, of course, too. But seeing her torn up like this makes his gut constrict. He’s only been able to stomach one slice thus far. 

“Have you ever known you were different? Not like you suspected or you were guessing. But you just knew.”

It clicks. Like the switch of a light being turned on, Calum gets it. He exhales, reaching for another slice of pizza. “Well,” he starts, holding the slice on his fingers as he chews over the right words. He stares down at Jazmyne’s headstone. What do I tell her? You’d be so much better at this. He doesn’t want to start out with the ‘whole everyone’s different’ thing. It feels contrived, like he’s trying to weigh his own struggles against hers. All he wants to do, at a moment like this, is let her know he’s listening. He’s picking up the clues. “There’s nothing wrong with different, ya know? Different is good.”

“You don’t think different is like, wrong? Like, there’s a ‘normal’ that everyone’s used too. And different is scary. But is it wrong, ya know?”

There’s no use in trying to beat around the bush anymore. Calum swallows down his bite of pizza resting it on the cardboard box on the side where none of the other slices rest. He looks over at her, as she picks at the dog fur coating her black jeans. “Who you love or find attractive isn’t wrong. It may be different from what others expect of you or what others deem is right. I don’t care who you love. I love different. I accept different. I respect different and that means I love you; I accept you. And it also means I respect you too.”

Almost like a popped balloon Ariyana sighs. All the tension from her shoulders drop. “Was it that obvious?”

“I know when someone’s smitten when I see it.”

There’s a moment, where they both sit, watching the setting sun. Ari’s glad that it went well. That she doesn’t have to hide or fear anything. “You didn’t even let me say it, though,” she points out. “Like, I had this whole speech prepared and everything!”

Calum laughs. “Okay, let’s redo.”

“No, it’s too late now,” she huffs, holding her arms across her chest. Her laughter is bubbling in her chest and escapes her in tufts. “But, in all honesty, thanks. For understanding. I was kinda scared.”

Calum nods. “I understand. But I don’t want you to be afraid of telling me things. I’m always in your corner, Ariyana. Always and forever.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

With empty boxes collected and the blankets folded back up, Ariyana looks down at her mother’s gravestone. “I hope you understand, Mom. Love you.” The car ride is DJ’ed, like usual, Ariyana’s playlist and things are easy again. 

It’s about a week later as Ariyana gathers her books from the dining room table for school, when she notices a tiny pride flag pinned to the front pouch of her backpack. She didn’t buy that. Not even in her venture to the mall with Elizabeth last Saturday and they stopped at a small kiosk that was selling a bunch of pins. Elizabeth bought one, if she remembered correctly. But not her. 

“Ready to go, Ari?”

“Dad, did I buy that pin?” she asks, pointing to her brown canvas bag. 

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to leave it there. But I know you’re into pins now.” That explains it. He bought and pinned it there. And if she knows anything, inside will be a bottle of orange juice and some candy, in case she needs the sugar boost during the day. She hates that he does it, but as of late, she’s needed then more and more. 

“When’s my doctor’s appointment again?”

“Tomorrow, Tuesday. 1:30. I’ll be there to get you before your lunch time.”

“I’m going to miss trig.”

“You mean you’re going to miss Elizabeth,” Calum corrects, shouldering the loaded up backpack. 

“No, I’m failing trig, not failing in my relationship.”

“Smart ass,” he laughs as they shuffle out of the door. “C’mon. You’ve got a test first period and you’re not being late as an excuse.”

“Oh, c’mon, Dad. It’s World History. I can ace it in my sleep.” 

It’s true, but still, he’s not going to risk it. Ariyana plays with her phone, mostly texting but Calum’s not shocked. When his stops in the parking lot, the buses are already lined up and unloading. Ariyana grabs her bag, but not before leaning across the console and kissing Calum on his cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Kick ass on that test. Don’t be afraid to go to the nurse’s office or call me if you feel another dizzy spell, okay?”

“I won’t.”

“Tell Elizabeth I said hi, alright?” 

Ariyana can’t stop the smile as she shuts the door. The window already rolled down. “You love having that power, don’t you?”

Calum laughs, leaning forward into the steering wheel but not pressing down on the horn. “C’mon your pops has to have a little fun, ya know.” 

She rolls her eyes, wishing she could seriously be upset. But instead, all there is is elation. She calls out another ‘love you’ and then starts towards the front doors. Right on the curb is Elizabeth, waiting for her. Their embrace is quick and they shuffle inside, hand in hand. There’s a moment, where there’s a small pause, Ari showing off the pin and Calum can only grin watching them. “You’re probably already seeing this Jaz. But God, she’s growing up fast. Her first girlfriend. Like, fuck, I’m getting old. So old, but I hope you’re proud. I hope she’s everything you wanted in a daughter. I hope I’m doing you proud.”

Calum knows he’s been watching too long when the buses start to leave. But part of him is worried. Afraid that he’ll pull out of the parking lot and she’ll wind up in the nurse's office waiting for him to rush to get her. He’s worried that he’s going to pull off and when he comes back she’s going to graduate. It might be her second year in high school but it already feels like with every blink she keeps growing up. He can’t stop her. He can’t keep her as that babbling baby on his chest who’d laugh at the raspberries on her cheeks. 

It’s on the drive back home, when there’s no music, no laughing from his right. When it’s just him and the road and the breeze floating in that he feels something on his cheek. It’s warm for a quick moment, even tinkles, and then gone. It’s not a bug, not some stray piece of hair. It encompassed his whole cheek and he thinks it was Jazmyne, cupping his cheek, like she always did before she’d pinched his cheeks. It never failed to annoy him. 

A tear slips from his eye. At the last red light before turning into his neighborhood, he doesn’t stop the ones that overflow the waterlines of his eyes. “I know you’re there.”

Tagging: @5-secondsofcolor @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles

[honestlyhufflepuff]

Here are 20 reasons I am leaving the caregiver job with the client I've had since 2008: a list of unprofessional behavior and abuse by my client's guardian.

1. She said I wasn't Christian anymore, and said I was disrespecting my mother, for leaving the church I was raised in.

2. During the first year of employment, she would yell at me multiple times a week over things like leaving a lamp on (this is while I was caring for her medically fragile, high needs adult daughter). She would accuse me of being incompetent or trying to get fired for unemployment.

3. She told me I was not approved off for my honeymoon, less than a month beforehand, when I gave her over 5 months notice with consistent reminders. She harassed me over several texts while I was on my honeymoon saying I would be fired if I did not return a week earlier than I was supposed to.

4. She told me I still had to come in when I was sick and vomiting because she did not believe me. I became dehydrated and was vomiting so much that I had uncontrollable dry heaving and was unable to drive home. She refused to come home early when I told her of my symptoms, and when she did come home to see me retching into her trash can, she started handing me cleaning supplies to disinfect the trash can and the entire bathroom before I went to the emergency room...

5. ...there was no apology or ownership in forcing a sick employee to work to the point of needing to be hospitalized. She would not accept that I could not come into work for the next 3 days until my husband delivered the doctor's note.

6. I worked there throughout college, and would present my new school schedule each semester. For one class, I made the mistake of scheduling it after work. She said the schedule worked with her, but then consistently got home 30 min to and hour late. I missed so many classes that I had to withdraw.

7. Even after the hospitalization mentioned in #3, she would continue to be skeptical of any time I called in sick over the years (which wasn't often). I had no PTO or sick leave to use even when I was full time, so when I took off I didn't get paid. I was never approved to take off for any reason, and when I did take off it was accompanied by a massive guilt trip about how I was putting her family in a bind. It did not matter if it was a vacation, an illness, a doctor's appointment, or a family emergency. It also did not matter how much or little notice I gave; the guilt trips and emotional manipulation still accompanied any time I needed off. To this day, with every job I've had, I am always incredibly anxious about asking off, but it's never been a problem anywhere else I've worked.

8. Emotionally manipulative things she has said to get me to stay:

-"We don't have anyone else. I have to go to my job in order to care for [client's name]. You would be jeopardizing my job by leaving, and her well being." (If pressed she eventually admits to not looking for anyone else)

-"[Client's name] loves you like a sister, and her quality of life would go down significantly without you..." continues to tell me that if I don't do what she wants then I don't love or care for the client, even if it is because I need a job with higher pay and benefits to support my own family.

-"I thought the two of us were friends. This is very selfish of you." (Any time I don't do what she wants, like continuing to go to school full time).

-"God has put her in your life for a reason. You are called as spiritual sisters. It's your responsibility to care for her."

-"In the real world-the business world- other people won't be ok with you just taking off without approval. It's insubordinate and unprofessional." I was only 18 when she told me this, and young enough to believe her. Once again, I've literally never had a problem taking off with any other client or job because I often had PTO, and was always able to obtain leave approval easily. Even when it meant the client parent had to take off from work, they understood that the onus was on them to find the needed staff to account for people needing sick days and vacation.

9. She puts me in the middle of personal drama, constantly bad-mouthing the client's father and other attendants (who all inevitably leave after a year or two at most).

10. Told me, after a decade of infertility, that God told her I would become pregnant and have a son I was to name Amos. She said it would only become true if I prayed about it, so now when I most likely don't become pregnant, I feel it will be blamed on my lack of faith- or the fact that I am a different faith from her. I feel this instance was truly out of good intention, but ultimately unprofessional and something I would have preferred she keep to herself.

11. For years, she never got home when she said she would. I could never make plans after work because she would agree to come home at 7 and sometimes not make it home until 8:30. She always blamed traffic, needing to run an errand, or her boss keeping her. Then, when I had my own child I had to pick up from an after school program, she consitently got home on time. This showed me that she did have the executive functioning skills to be on time, but did not respect my personal time or work with other clients enough to do so before I was a parent.

12. I bent over backwards trying to help her. I scheduled less time with higher paying clients that were lower need. I sometimes worked 60 hour weeks while I was also in school. It never felt like it was enough. Even for the time I was working there 6 hours a week it was always "Why can't you stay later? Where do you have to be?" The more I gave, the more was expected, and then I was guilted for not meeting that higher expectation.

13. She refused to take the time to have team meetings with other service providers and caregivers, despite the fact all my other client families do this, and keep staff much more consistently as a result. Because of this, information and instructions were always inconsistent. With the client being significantly behaviorally challenged and medically fragile, this was at everyone's detriment.

14. Over the years, I referred 3 friends to work for her because she insisted she could not find caregivers on her own. All 3 of them lasted less than a year due to her behavior. She would then blame them and trash talk them to me, despite knowing I was still friends with them.

15. She expected caregivers to also deep clean the house. We are talking hours worth of work, that there just was not time for within the shift while also meeting the needs of the client.

16. She is openly homophobic, xenophobic, and although she thinks of herself as "not racist," she was extremely weird towards my besf friend's African fiancé. She refused to shake his hand and told me she didn't think he was with her for the "right reasons." Maybe thought he was in it for a green card? She seemed skeptical when I told her that he became a citizen 2 years prior, and that they'd been dating 6 years.

17. She has systematically isolated my adult client more and more over the years. We used to share many interests in things like Harry Potter, early 2000's pop, anime, Harajuku fashion, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, etc. One by one, everything we bonded over was off limits, due to being a "bad influence" or "demonic." She is no longer allowed to engage in any age-expected media unless it is explicitly Christian, and it breaks my heart to see how sad she gets about that.

18. When I was in college, and completely broke after just paying for books and classes, she said that she wanted me to go to the water park with her and the client. Admission was $50. I assumed she was paying since I was being required to go for work, and this was always what was done in the past. In the car, I asked if I could ride a roller coaster that the client wouldn't be able to go on while they ate ice cream. She said "Sure! You can ride whatever you like!"

So, I start getting excited. We're chatting pleasantly until the moment when she says "OK, when we get out of the car, you can go pay for your ticket first, and then I will bring..."

My stomach dropped. I told her there was a misunderstanding, and that I could not afford my ticket. She acted like it wasn't right that she should have to pay for mine. I told her that if she didn't want to, then I could study at the Starbucks across the street while they attended the park. She said no, because obviously she still wanted my help with her daughter. She paid for my ticket, making passive aggressive comments the whole time about everything I did, from how I pushed the wheelchair to how long I took to go to the bathroom despite the line.

I was no longer permitted to go ride the roller coaster, and I sat in silence while they ate their ice cream.

19. Recently, due to Covid, I do not have child care for my own daughter on Fridays. I have been bringing her to work with me, which my client's mom was supportive of. Then the client had drastic behavioral changes that I won't detail, but that O can say was significantly stressful on my daughter, and made it stressful for me to manage both of them at the same time. I told the mother, 2 weeks in advance, that I could not come in on Fridays until the behavior was consistently resolved. I do not want to get a sitter outside of maybe my aunt, due to covid, and I wouldn't expect her to do that every week. My client's mom was very understanding of this at first, seeing as we both now have special needs children, but the night before the next Friday I was scheduled to come in she berated me for not finding babysitting to the point that I started to panic. I firmly told her that I gave her plenty of notice, and then blocked her number up until the day I was scheduled to come back in.

20. When she is home at the same time I am helping her daughter, she micromanages everything. I think she is incapable of just letting me do the same work I've been doing for over a decade without standing over my shoulder and looking for something wrong.

Some background info:

I wanted to write this, first of all, to document all the reasons that I am justified in leaving, so that I can refer back to it no matter how hard she tries to get me to stay. This is like my anonymous way of getting it off my chest since no one who follows me on here knows me irl. Second of all, I want all the young professionals on here to know that, if they are treated like this in the work place, it is ok to leave!

I started working for this family when I was 18, and I am now 31. I have worked as many as 60 hour weeks, and as little as twice a month when I was full time with the state, but I have always cared for her in some capacity since 2008. I am currently working 15-20 hours a week with her.

You may wonder why I've stayed so long, and in regards to that I will say first of all that abusive relationships are hard to leave. The abuser may convince you that you are bad and won't find anywhere else good enough to take you. This can pertain to any type of relationship, be it romantic, professional, parental, or friends.

Another factor is that I love my client deeply, and my employer takes advantage of that. We grew up childhood friends, which is one reason maintaining professional boundaries with this family has been so hard.

The last reason I have stayed may be the hardest to explain, but I will try.

Sometimes she is good. My employer has made improvements over the years. Most of the worst things on here happened when I was in college. I don't know if her improvement is due to a genuine change in heart, or because she knows deep down that her behavior is why all the other caregivers left.

Whatever the reason, we do actually care for each other. We do actually connect and have a good time. She is kind to my husband and my daughter. She often tells me that I am a godsend to her family, a loyal and talented caregiver, and the best friend her daughter has ever had (although she will contradict this the moment I am not doing what she wants).

What I want people in similar situations to know is that the good moments do not erase the trauma of the bad ones. It is not my responsibility to "get over it" because she is trying to do better. A lot of the stuff she has said and done run too deep, and when she lapses into her old ways, I find myself reacting in a panic-driven, irritable way that's not really me. It's a reaction to trauma. I am not required to continue to stay at an underpaid job with an environment that evokes such emotions.

So please, if you are being treated like this in your job, then leave. You will find something else. For me, I intend to have another job lined up before leaving, but I'm on my way. For the first time in years, I've revamped my resumé, and it felt so empowering to work on a document that highlights my strengths!

For anyone in a similar position, you've got this. There are a lot of great jobs out there. There are a lot of humane employers. If you are treated like this, then label it for what it is. It is abuse. It is unhealthy. It is not ok. It is not erased by the times they are nice. And you deserve better.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Rainy day gyroids

Rainy days are the perfect excuse to stay inside with a cup of warm tea and a good show to watch while letting the day pass on by. How fitting is it that the theme of this gyroid event happens to be rainy days?

Joining us on this rainy day adventure are Robert and Mace, two former members of Jamie's entourage back when she lived on Peace Coast Island. Robert Azarias is a writer and actor, best known for his work in the TV show Faerie Town, which just ended earlier this year. Mace Callaghan is an actor whose career kicked off thanks to people like Jamie and his cousin Amelia, who's also an actor as well as a producer. Both have been super busy as they're on a new show that's set to premiere in the fall so they're at the camp for a short vacation after pretty much working nonstop for the past several weeks.

The new show is called Mount Barley, RFD - which stands for rural free delivery - and it's about a journalist who moves back to his old hometown to take care of his aging father and reconnects with his old friends. Mace plays the main character, Alex, an ambitious creative who has a tendency to get carried away with his ideas. Robert's the co-executive producer/showrunner and has a recurring role as Jerry, a friend and colleague of Alex's who sometimes gets dragged into everyone else's problems due to bad timing. Other characters include Alex's dad Emmett, the wise father figure everyone looks up to, Blossom the pharmacist who's a neighbor to Alex, Leia, a childhood friend and work colleague, and Deedee, the hairstylist who serves as Alex's source for gossip.

Having insider information is kinda a blessing and a curse. Well, what I mean by curse is that I can't say too much about something because of non-disclosure stuff, which means I have to be careful not to let anything slip. Especially with a lot of show creators, writers, and actors being active on social media, it's kinda easy to accidentally reveal something that wasn't supposed to publicly come out yet. It's not usually anything super confidential but some companies are more particular about what people say more than others. While being able to interact with crew members has its perks, it also has its drawbacks - then again, that's social media in general.

Robert's previous show, Faerie Town, ended last year after five seasons. A good number of the entourage members were in that show like April Wingate, Melody Muto, Linus Cooper, and Cecelia Argent. Robert was a writer on the show as well as a recurring character who became more prominent from season three onwards.

Ending the show was one of those cases where they were told ahead of time that they weren't going to get renewed. By then, the overall story they wanted to tell was coming to a conclusion so it made sense to start wrapping things up. Being an ensemble show, it kinda suffered from a large cast - I'm overall satisfied with the way the main characters were handled but at the same time I felt that it could've been balanced better. And I'll admit, the writing during the last two seasons were weak, but not to the point where the show went downhill.

The way I see it, there's a difference between a show going downhill and a show where the writing isn't as top notch. Downhill is bad, as in this has a negative impact on how I feel about the show in general. An example of downhill is Popular Besties, which, looking back wasn't entirely good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. It was one of those shows which the quality dipped a lot - and knowing the issues going on behind the scenes, it makes a lot of sense as to why - and it gets to the point where you're watching a new episode out of obligation or dropping it all together.

Hogan Family Values is an example of a show that has fallen to weak writing. Like Faerie Town, it has a big cast, though it struggles more in terms of having too many characters to handle. It's ending after three seasons, which has ten episodes left. Season three started out pretty strong, but since then it has been a mixed bag. We all kinda suspected that it was ending as some of the episodes kinda had that vibe and that was later confirmed by the creator just recently.

I think the biggest problem with this season is that the pacing's kinda rushed and I feel like the show has kinda written itself into a corner by trying to wrap up various plotlines while introducing a bunch of new characters/plot points at the same time. On one hand the show could use another season just to pad things out a bit, but at the same time it makes sense why they would end it there.

The show's still good though, it's just season three doesn't have the same spark as the first two did. I mean, the stronger episodes of this season are some of the best in the show overall while the weaker ones aren't entirely terrible, just mediocre, or at worst, somewhat boring. And despite my reservations at the moment, I have faith in the crew that the ending will be satisfying, even if rushed.

A show with a satisfying ending is Star's Universe, which has become one of my top favorite shows of all time. I think, if it wasn't for the network, the show could've easily run for another season to even out the pacing towards the end. It also suffered from the uncertainty of being renewed, which then led to a movie. While working on the movie, the network decided to order an additional season at the last minute to fully wrap things up. There's still a lot the show can touch on but it's all extra stuff - and while it could've focused more on the supporting cast, I can understand why they couldn't because it's essentially not their story.

As for the overall story the show wanted to tell, they not only succeeded, but exceeded my expectations. The conclusion's satisfying in a way that it's open enough to revisit but if that's the end, then I'm happy with that as well.

I think Star's Universe has ruined me in terms of judging series endings. It still kinda doesn't feel real that the show literally just ended less than a year ago. The writing has also remained consistently strong for the most part and it's just a brilliant show. Now I feel like binging on a bunch of episodes. I guess you can say it's one of my comfort shows.

While collecting gyroids, we got to talking about Mount Barley, RFD a bit as well as catch up on life in general. Robert's got an interesting backstory that Hollywood has been wanting to make into a movie for years. He was known as the Etienne Falls Baby as he was born en route on the ill fated train that crashed in the desert. His father died in the accident while his mother passed away shortly after, leaving Robert in the care of three friends who helped bring him into the world. Only one of them survived and he, while carrying Robert, made a dangerous trek through the desert to find help. After the tragic ordeal, he adopted Robert, becoming somewhat known as a hero.

Mace is the nephew of actor Gary Stewart, who's well known on stage and screen, as well as his daughters Amelia and Lesley. It was Amelia who helped Mace pursue his dream of acting by helping him stand up to his father, who was against it. At the time he was going through a lot and as a result of everything, he finally had enough. It wasn't easy going against his father's wishes, but he had to or else he'd be stuck working at the bank being his father's successor.

He's still hoping for a reconciliation, though it seems unlikely at the moment. Since moving to the island, Mace rarely spoke to his father, who has pretty much disowned him. Back home he heard that his father's not too crazy about Mace having his own show as that'll make him more well known. At least his cousins and uncle have always been supportive of him - he had always been closer to them, especially after his mom passed.

It's been raining all day, though it started out as a light drizzle at first. I don't mind the rain too much - it adds to the rainy day theme! I love how gray and cloudy the sky gets - there's just something about rain that's calming and cozy. Also, it was the perfect excuse to break out my new umbrella - and it was worth every leaf ticket because not only it looks pretty, it kept me dry. Aside from the mud, collecting gyroids in the rain was a lot of fun!

When it started pouring we headed back to the cabin to begin crafting some stuff. I was surprised that we managed to collect a lot of gyroids today, then again, I think the rain might've helped some. We also managed to do some fishing and bug catching as well, which the guys had never done before. Robert's a fast learner when it comes to fishing - and a lucky one too as he managed to catch two king salmons!

Aside from collecting gyroids, we didn't get to be able to do too much sightseeing today. Once the weather clears up, I'm thinking of setting up a picnic in the meadow and a short hike along the trail. Then, depending on Gulliver's schedule, I was hoping we can catch a ride with him and explore an island or two. Robert mentioned that he always wanted to try out sailing so I want him to experience that. As for Mace, he says he's content with anything the camp has in store and he enjoys running errands for the campers.

With the rain pouring, we all were in the mood for some tea so I put on the kettle as soon as we got inside. While waiting for the tea we set up the TV to watch some shows while helping Daisy Jane package orders from her shop. Nothing like cozying up with a nice hot cup of tea on a cloudy rainy day!

[maknaesdancersrappers]

kinkmas2019: a little jealousy

member: Taeyong

warning/s: zelophilia, cunnilingus, blindfolds

wc: 4.7k

a/n: This is 14ways!Taeyong so the girl is technically Jangmi, but for the sake of kinkmas, I’ll be using the y/n format. 

Since the very beginning, it had always been Taeyong worrying about someone new coming along and taking you away from him; it happened in middle school with Seungcheol, it *could have* happened in high school with Jaehyun, and now that you’re both in college; it was bound to happen any moment now. He should have gotten used to it now; it’s something you had no control over. You were a boy magnet, you were naturally charming and kind — on top of that, beautiful. You were also incredibly oblivious to subtle flirting because you always liked to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, so Taeyong is sure that even though guys who he assumes are your classmates are simply talking to her, he knows for a fact they’re trying to hit on her; the stance, eye contact, movements — it all gave it away.

But what he didn’t expect were other girls getting attracted to him.

You weren’t surprised about it; Taeyong had always been insecure and made himself seem less of anything that he actually is. When he told you someone tried to hit on him during freshman orientation, you were almost a little proud because, yes that’s right, this boy is handsome and he’s yours. He was quick to tell you that he had immediately told them he was taken and you brushed it off, thanking him for his honesty instead. You should have known, however, that high school is completely different from college. Some girls won’t just back off a taken man just because they’re taken. For the entirety of your first year, Taeyong got plenty of girl’s numbers being given to him, unsolicited. It annoyed you, but Taeyong always disposed them of them quickly.

When sophomore year came, a few were a little more brazen; outright flirting with him when you weren’t around, inviting him to parties he didn’t even like going to unless you were coming with him. It merely took a couple of nasty glares, regardless if Taeyong is aware or not, from you for them to back off.

But then there was Hana.

She was also in Vet Med like Taeyong. She was in most of his classes, too. She initially didn’t raise any red flags for you because she had her own boyfriend entering college and they seemed to have a strong bond. But then one day she drops him and you supposed she suddenly felt like going after your boyfriend despite knowing he was very much taken and very much yours.

Taeyong used to complain about you being so oblivious to guys making moves on you and you’d always brush him off about it, but now you know and fully understand how he feels.

They’re always somehow partners or grouped together for projects and although Taeyong had never brought Hana to his dorm or agreed to go to hers, they have spent a hefty amount of time together elsewhere to work.

Now, you don’t doubt Taeyong’s loyalty. You know how much he loves you and he’s always doing his best to make sure not to give you a reason to think otherwise. It’s Hana who’s the problem: you don’t trust her one bit ever since you caught her heavily flirting with your boyfriend.

Like now, for example, they had to write a paper about the lab work they did earlier. Taeyong sent you a text message about it; how he’ll be in the library with Hana and a few other classmates. You told him you’d treat them some coffee and made a quick stop at a mini mart to purchase a few cans. When Taeyong said other classmates, you assumed it was the guys he had gotten close with. Alas, it was not. As you stepped on the second floor of the library where he said they’d be, it was incredibly hard to miss the table full of girls, among them was Hana, and at the end of the table where their fawning attention was drawn to was, of course, Taeyong. 

And what bothered you the most about it was that he wasn’t.

Taeyong is notoriously shy, introverted, and oftentimes awkward, especially in such a concentrated group like being the only male among 6 girls. He’d be hunched over and trying to mind his own business, but not today, apparently. He confidently sat up straight, nodding at the conversation, and probably cracked jokes that made the girls giggle. It’s also annoying how you think he looked so hot for it, but seeing Hana glance at you with a devious smirk almost made you bring forth the worst in you.

You suck it up, stride over to them, and made sure you give Taeyong the same sincere, loving smile you always greet him with when he notices you approaching. “Hey, I brought you guys coffee.”

“Oh, [Y/N], you shouldn’t have.” Hana croons as you placed the plastic bag on the table and scrunches her nose at you.

You promptly ignore her, sliding a hand along Taeyong’s shoulder, and played with the little hairs on his nape.

“Thanks, babe.” He rubs his palm on the small of your back, “Do you want to stay with us until I’m done?”

“I wouldn’t want to distract you.” You teased, grinning at how he blushes in embarrassment. “But actually, I have a quick errand to run and it’s near your dorm so I’ll just head there after.”

He nods, “Okay, I’ll see you then.” He moves his hand higher and it makes you feel giddy when you realized he wanted a goodbye kiss. So you leaned down and pecked his lips, ruffling his hair before stepping away from him.

You spare a quick glimpse at the girls; visibly annoyed at the interaction and it only made you smile more. “See you.”

Without even three feet away from them, you hear Hana ask Taeyong, “Taeyong, you should drop by my sorority’s party later.”

“Oh, I should have asked [Y/N]—” 

“What? I’m inviting you, not her. I didn’t know she had such a tight leash on you.”

It took everything in you not to turn around and march right back up to their table. You have full trust in Taeyong that he’d deny that accusation and defend you so you just continued you way out of the library; you try to forget about what Hana said, but you can’t remember hearing if Taeyong had even responded to her at all.

You feel uncharacteristically anxious, pacing back and forth in Taeyong’s dorm room. 

Taeyong didn’t have a roommate so he had a simple studio type room with his own bathroom. He originally had a single bed, but switched it out for a shorter bunk bed type so he could have some storage beneath for his clothes and shoes. He also had a small refrigerator for little snacks and drinks between his bed and the L-shaped desk where he has one side for school and a gaming setup on the other. Taeyong had a pull out sofa bed on the other side of the room for the sole reason you two can sleep together since his bed wasn’t necessarily couple friendly for any… extra activities beside actually sleeping, but he also likes to claim it’s for classmates to sleep on for all-nighters.

It’s a little past seven and you feel like a mom for worrying like your 8 year old son isn’t home yet. He couldn’t have gone to the party, right? Even if he did, he would have at least told you about it because he knows you’re waiting for him in his room.

You debate on heading over to the party yourself, thinking how in hindsight you’ll seem like the possessive girlfriend Hana is painting you to be in, but fortunately, you throw that option out the window when the door opens. Taeyong walks in with a paper bag from your favorite restaurant, sending you an apologetic smile as he toes his shoes off.

“Hey, are you hungry already? I thought I’d buy us dinner already, but the line at the restaurant was so long.”

You let out a sigh of relief, taking the small laptop table from under the sofa and placed it on top to use as a makeshift table. “I’m starving. I thought we were going to order together.”

“My phone died on me.” He puts the bag down and you start to set it while he walks over to his charger to plug his phone in. “Sorry. Did I worry you?”

“I felt like a mom.” You confessed, taking the lids off of the containers, “Ahhh, these smell amazing.”

He sits across you, handing you a fork from his limited kitchenware collection he kept on top of the mini fridge. He stabs a chicken finger and takes a bite out of it before asking how your day went. Simple moments like these reminds you of how domestic your relationship with Taeyong has become. You’d have meals together either in his dorm or yours, you each had a couple of clothes in each other’s closets for when one sleeps over or someone wants to change out of their clothes, and you’ve both reached that stage in your relationship to be comfortable with each other’s bodies so neither of you bothered going to the bathroom or at least turn around to change. Frankly, sex was something that just naturally happened between the two of you; there was no anxiety, waiting, or planning for it to happen. It wasn’t a spur of the moment either; there wasn’t any desperate heavy petting or begging for more in between kisses or naughty fingers touching places that drove you insane.

Dinner proceeds with minimal talking and you insist on cleaning up since he paid for dinner. After you threw away the trash and washed the forks, you return to Taeyong on the sofa bed and yawned as you cuddled his side.

“Sleepy already? It’s only 8PM.” He lightly teases, running his hand over your arm and kissing your hair.

“I dare you to call me old.” You warned, but yawned again and both of your chuckled, “I guess today was a little draining. I can’t believe I’m ready to go to sleep at this time. Is that okay with you?”

Taeyong blinks, his tongue darting out of his lips in contemplation, “Well, I was going to suggest dropping by this party, uh, Hana invited me to.”

You could tell by the faint panic in his face that he could tell you didn’t like the idea. You sigh, “Taeyong, I don’t really like her. There’s just something off about her and she’s definitely got her eyes set on you.”

He chuckles at this, “But she’s well aware that I’m with you.”

“And obviously, that’s not going to stop her.” You frowned, “I can’t tell you who to be friends with, Yong, but Hana and those other girls in the library are clearly interested in you and I don’t really like them.”

“Are you…” He leans away from you to get a better view of your face, “jealous?”

This makes you scoff, “Obviously! They’re snakes.”

Taeyong moves away completely, visibly dismayed by your choice of words. He stands up from the sofa bed and turns to you, “They’re my friends, [Y/N]. Don’t call them that. You’re making it sound like I’d let them take advantage of me.”

You’re taken aback by his reaction; he gets mad at you, he gets annoyed with you, but never at the same time like this. Not in the mood to fight, you shake your head, “Sorry, I just… they rub me the wrong way, okay? It’s not that I don’t trust you with them. It’s the other way around. But... do you want to go the party?”

He lets out a heavy breath, “You’re tired and I don’t want to go without you. Go to sleep, babe, I’ll play a few games and join you in a bit.”

“Are you sure?”

Taeyong kisses your forehead, assuring you he’d rather stay than go. You change into pajamas and go about your nightly routine as he sat in front of his computer to power it on. When you stepped out of the bathroom, he was already halfway through a game and had pulled out the sofa bed for you.

You kiss his cheek, whispering good night even though he had his headphones on. Since the brightness of his monitor bothered you, you put on a sleeping mask and immediately drifted off to sleep the moment your head hits the pillow.

You jolt awake for some reason; you weren’t even dreaming and you don’t recall hearing anything or being shaken to wake up, but something inside of you urged you to push the mask off your eyes and check on Taeyong. It took a second for you to realize what he was doing, taking note of his clothes that wasn’t what he was wearing a while ago, “Where are you going?”

Taeyong jumped, snapping his head towards you with large eyes; a textbook example of ‘a deer caught in the headlights.’

You glanced at the wall clock and frowned, “It’s 10PM… where would you go—”

Then it hits you; the change of clothes, the quiet movements, the surprised, guilty look on his face. You push yourself up, “Are you really sneaking out to go to the party?”

He licks his lips, shrugging his shoulders, “I, well… Hana keeps texting and insisting—”

“Hana,” You snapped, inhaling sharply, “I just told you awhile ago that I don’t like her and that she likes you! Why would you even keep texting her after that?”

“I’m just gonna drop by! One drink and I’ll leave! You said you trusted me.”

You sneered, “Yeah, 2 hours ago when you said you won’t go because I didn’t want to but now you’re sneaking off while I was asleep! You even changed clothes! I ought to think you’re impressing her.”

He stands up, abandoning his lacing his shoes up entirely and glares, “I’m not trying to impress her! She’s a friend and she wants to hang out!”

“Why do you think she wants to hang out, Taeyong?! She’s trying to get under your skin — specifically, get in your pants! She’s constantly flirting with you.”

“Well, I’m not going to flirt back! Now you know how I feel about you and other guys! What I’ve been feeling since we were in middle school and we weren’t even dating back then! It sucks, doesn’t it? Watching the love of your life attract other people and make you feel inferior and jealous?”

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” You retorted, “Is that your intention? To get me worked up and jealous and be the possessive girlfriend Hana and those other girls are making me out to be? Then fine! Go to her stupid party and every second that you’re there, remember that your girlfriend is home alone and seething with jealousy because her boyfriend is at a sorority party where there are guaranteed half naked girls getting drunk left and right who don’t give two shits if the guy they’re flirting with is taken or not.”

Without letting him say another word and not wanting him to see you tearing up, you pull the sleeping mask back down your eyes and lay back down, curling on your side and pulled the blanket over your body.

You hold your breath, waiting for the sound of the door to open and his footsteps walking out. Instead, you feel the bed dipping by your hip and a hand rubs your thigh. 

“I don’t like it when your upset.”

“Too fucking late, Yong. Go away.”

You feel him kiss your shoulder and you shrug him off like a child.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I guess I caught up in the moment of having all that attention on me. It wasn’t necessarily the fact that it was Hana and the girls, but it was because I got noticed by somebody else. I’ve been a wallflower all my life, you know that. But still, I’d never choose anyone else over you, [Y/N].” He kisses your shoulder once more and you don’t move. “It will always be you, okay? Trust me.”

When you don’t respond, he sighs against your skin. “You don’t trust me anymore?”

“I do,” You quickly say, “I do… I’m just hurt.”

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry. Hana was taking advantage of me before either of us knew. I’m sorry.”

You sniffed, sitting up with his help and pushing the mask onto your forehead. You pensively stared at him, bottom lip just slightly jutting out into a small pout. He smiles at you, taking your hands into his and squeezing them.

“You know,” He whispers, “You’re rarely jealous and seeing you all worked up was hot.”

This makes you let out a half-scoff, half-chuckle, shaking your head with disbelief. You don’t respond, though, resuming the silent stare-off until he finally leans forward and kisses you on your lips. He hums a little, moving his hands up your arms and slid one hand to cup your face. He tilts his head to one side and runs his tongue over your bottom lip repeatedly, silently begging for entrance.

You pull away, leaving him to chase after your lips. Without leaving each other’s proximity, you gazed into his eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, too.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

Taeyong smiles, the corner of his lips curving up slightly, and he kisses you once more before slipping the sleeping mask back over your eyes. There’s panic and dismay in your chest, thinking he’s urging you back to sleep so he could still go to the party, but then he whispers, “Keep the mask over your eyes, okay?”

You’re confused, not knowing how to respond. Suddenly, you feel him kiss your neck and you flinched away. He chuckles, the soft, warm puffs of his breath hitting your skin.

“Taeyong?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Biting down your lip, you shake your head and you feel him kiss you neck again, more bold and wet. The blanket over your body is stripped off and his hands slip under your shirt, warming his fingers against your body heat. You mewled out his name, arching your chest towards him in silent suggestion. Taking the hint, he moves his mouth over your breasts, kissing them over your shirt. As you’re not one to sleep in bras, he easily had access to your boobs, palming them gently under your clothes.

Pushing your shirt further over your torso until your chest is exposed to him, he tweaks one of your nipples and sucks the other into his mouth. Blocking off your sight has definitely heightened your other senses; almost sensitive to his touches. You always liked watching him, sometimes the two of you shared strong eye contact as you pleasured one another.

Taeyong switches to your other breast, but moved his hand downwards, slipping into your shorts and panties. You let out a soft gasp when he cards his fingers along your wet folds. “Mmm, are you turned on by this, [Y/N]?”

You were. Immensely so. You’ve never complained about your sex life with Taeyong and you’ve never thought of putting a label on it, but so far all you’ve done with him was pretty basic — vanilla, if you may. Maybe he was just scared of pushing your limits because the most he’s done was slap your ass raw. But this was a pleasant experience from the get-go and you definitely don’t mind doing it again in the future.

“I need to taste you, baby.” He rasps, dragging his mouth over your abdomen and tugging your shorts down your legs. He gets them off of you and he pushes your legs apart. You waited for his touch, his tongue, anything; but you’re left to shiver as your core was exposed to the cold room.

You started to feel self-conscious, fully are that he’s just looking at you. You would have closed your legs if he hadn’t kept his hands on your inner thighs. “Yong?”

“I just had to admire you, baby.” He speaks up, tracing his fingers closer to your core. “So fucking pretty.”

Before you could react, his mouth is on your pussy, working his tongue along your folds and drilling it over your clit. Again, it feels like your hypersensitive to his touch now that you can’t watch him eat you out. You bring your hands down to his hair, combing through them and lightly gripping every time his nose bumped over your bud. He smacked his lips loudly, making a show of how wet and dripping you were by slurping your juices. He hummed against you, prodding what felt like two fingers to spread your labia apart so he could flatten his tongue over you for a long, slow lick.

“Always so fucking delicious.” He groaned, concentrating his lips on your clit and sucked harshly. This makes you buck your hips into his face, urging him to continue and he gladly does so. You loved how he ate you out; how he worked his tongue over your pussy. It doesn’t take long until you can feel your climax rounding the corner and you’re attempting to push him off as your body begins to quiver.

“Stop, stop!” You whined, “I want to cum on your cock.”

He croons approvingly, “Is that so?”

Taeyong leaves a couple more kisses over your pussy and rubs you with his fingers, presumably to lubricate his cock. You can tell he moves away from you to shed his clothes off when the warmth of his body disappears momentarily. You can vaguely hear the shuffling of his clothes and eventually the sound of his drawers opening before hearing the crinkle of foil being ripped open. You’re very tempted to take your blindfold off but decided against it, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to resume his actions.

The bed dips by your legs and you automatically part your legs further for him. He shifts closer until you feel the tip of his cock poking at your entrance. He runs it along your slit, teasing you for a moment or until he deemed his cock wet enough before pushing in.

A slow, low gasp escapes you; your hands flying to his grip on your hips and sliding it up to his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He asks, pausing halfway through.

“Yes, yes,” You reply with urgency, nodding your head. “I’m okay, keep going.”

He continues entering you until your hips are flushed against one another and you feel him kiss your jaw, “You take me so well, [Y/N].”

“Please move.” You whimpered, massaging the muscles of his shoulders to coax him. Taeyong pulls out midway and eases back in, repeating the motion until you quietly asked him to move faster. He hooks your legs over his shoulders and presses himself down into you, driving his cock deeper. “—Yong.”

He rolls his hips into yours in a slow motion, languidly thrusting deep into your core. His hands left your hips and glided up to your breasts, kneading them in his palms. You’re curious about how he’s looking at you; where is he focused on? The area where you’re connected? Your mouth perpetually agape at his ministrations? Your chest that he played with? Blindly, you reached upwards to snake your fingers through the small hairs on his nape.

“Only you could make me feel this good, baby,” He grunts, thrusting particularly harder at ‘good’ for emphasis. When he pecks the corner of your lips, you try to face him to kiss him but he pulls away. He moans right by your ear, instantly sending signals of pleasure all over your body, “Only you, baby, only you.”

You feel his tongue tracing your jawline, softly nipping at your earlobes when he reaches them. You began to meet his thrusts, pushing your hips upwards as he grinds down on you and timing when his cock is sheathed inside you before clamping your walls around him.

“Fuck.” He hisses, removing your legs from his shoulders. He lets them fall to the side as he slithers his hands between your back and the bed before hoisting your body up for you to straddle him. Surprised at the sudden change of position, you gasped and hugged his shoulders.

Without a word or another motion, you move your hips accordingly; up and down his length in a pace you had full control. It was definitely a lot faster, causing Taeyong to grab your ass and kneading it rather than guiding your pace. You arch your back, unknowingly presenting your chest to Taeyong, who gladly kisses each of your nipples alternatingly.

The sofa bed is squeaking loudly, accompanied by the squelch of his cock entering your pussy and your soft panting. Your toes began to curl; the tight knot in your stomach slowly unraveling. Sensing your incoming high, Taeyong reaches between you and erratically thumbs your clit. He groans by your ear and you use this as a chance to locate his mouth, latching onto his plump bottom lip and urging him to kiss back, which he obediently does.

You cried into the kiss when your orgasm hits out of the blue, body convulsing and Taeyong just holds you against him, running his hands over your back in a loving manner; as if he wasn’t pounding upwards to help you ride your orgasm out. As your body calmed down, Taeyong lays you down and pulls out of you, leaving the bed. He hasn’t come yet, so you try to remove your sleeping mask off to see what he’s up to, but his voice sternly calls out, “Not yet, baby.”

“What are you doing?” You asked, sitting up on the edge.

“Just threw the condom.”

Before you could question any further, you felt something hot and wet poking your lip. You were confused for a split second until you realized what it was. You quickly opened your mouth, taking Taeyong’s entire length in one go with a long, loud, drawn-out moan at the taste of precum. It drove him wild to hear you like he’s the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth. You covered his hand at the base of his cock, but he doesn’t let go, continuing to squeeze himself. Instead, you bobbed your head a couple of times before stopping at the tip and sticking your tongue out.

It was a guaranteed way to get him off; having you patiently wait for him to cum into your mouth. It’s no surprise that he ejaculates in thick, white ropes of hot cum right onto your tongue and even shooting directly down your throat. Making sure it doesn’t spill, you closed your lips over his sensitive tip, simultaneously sucking as he empties himself.

You swallowed every last drop with a low, satisfied hum after he steps away from you. He takes your blindfold off and goes down on one knee in front of you, waiting for you to adjust your eyes to the sudden brightness.

As you blinked rapidly and focused on his face, you began to tear up and frowned.

“[Y/N]?” His voice is laced with panic and alarm.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffed, “I didn’t know you feel that way when I’m with other guys. I know sometimes they’re hitting on me, but I ignore them, especially if they already know I’m taken. You can still go to the party if you want to, I won’t hold any grudges.”

“Baby, we just had sex.” He chuckles, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.

“Exactly,” You huffed, “You reek of sex. Show them that you don’t need them if that’s what they’re after.”

Taeyong burst into laughter, shaking his head in disbelief, “You’re crazy.”

He kisses you a couple of times, “I’m always going to trust you more than anybody else. If you think Hana’s intentions are sketchy, then I believe you. I’ll be as frank as I can with her when we’re working together, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Let’s get dressed and go to sleep.” Taeyong presses his lips on your forehead, making an obnoxious smack sound that makes you giggle before both of you clean yourselves up, dressed in new pajamas, and crept back into bed.

[adarlingwrites]

Absolution

Summary:

noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who's willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.

VII

September 20, 2277.

Percy paces around in the room, looks for something to write on, then settles on the couch again. “Charon… you were saying something about your orders from General Chase in your dream. General Chase was a prominent figure in the Sino-American War 200 years ago. My God, were you there during the Battle of Anchorage?”

Hearing ‘Anchorage’ felt like wires crossed in my brain. The itch in my brain when I saw her in the stealth armor for the first time started to make sense. Anchorage is where I first saw it, worn by enemy troops. Crimson Dragoons, some of them snipers, just like her. My throat feels tight, and I cannot answer. I just nod.

“Charon, I won’t be asking about the details of the dream, but was the dream showing a traumatic event? Like, someone dying, or you getting hurt?”

“Yes. It’s... weird,” I manage to rasp. “There are some parts that I know did not happen recently. Then, there are events which happened within the past week.”

“I see. Did you feel like you were living in that moment again, instead of being at my house, on this day?” she asks me, and I nod. She continues to scribble on the piece of paper that she found.

“Any idea what might’ve triggered it?” she asks me, and I shrug. “Anything? Like a sound, or an object that reminds you of the event?”

I pause for a second. I remember the feeling I had looking at the power armor in my room before my body forced me to sleep.

“The power armor, in the room you gave me,” I tell her, and her eyebrows perk up. “I think I used to wear one of those.” Percy puts her pen and paper down, and stands up.

“I’ll refrain from discussing it further unless you want to talk about it, but holy shit,” Percy exclaims, running a hand through her hair, back turned from me. “I’m so sorry for exposing you to that, if I only knew…” Percy sits back down and her eyes drift to her stealth suit that she stripped for maintenance. “Did my armor remind you of Anchorage too?”

“Yes,” I tell her the truth.

“I’ll stop wearing it, if it makes you relive those memories. I’ll remove the power armor from your room too.”

“I appreciate it, but your armor does not upset me, miss. Please, keep it. You have a higher chance of surviving combat situations with it.”

Percy sighs. “If you’re sure that it doesn’t upset you, okay.” She clears her throat when she realizes the professional facade she’s been putting on slipped off.

“Anyway, I’ve yet to observe arousal and mood symptoms, but, Charon, you’re showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder,” said Percy after a few minutes of tense silence, who’s now looking at the book she was occupied with earlier. “I still need to observe you further. I don’t want to make a hasty diagnosis. If you do have it, I can assure you that it’s possible to get better, and I can help you.”

“It is not necessary, miss.”

“You can’t keep saying that whenever something concerning is happening to you,” the mistress scolds me. The dog jumps between us and starts burying his head on my lap.

“Miss, it is not your responsibility to look after my well-being. It is my own. You should not concern yourself with such things.”

“As someone who’s training to be a doctor, I just can’t ignore someone who’s clearly in need of professional help. What kind of doctor would that make me?”

“As my employer, however, it states in the contract that it is not your responsibility. You would know that if you’ve read it in its entirety,” I argue back, and Percy’s frustration grows. She rubs her hands against her face, and throws it up once again.

“But I- what if we weren’t… Why is it so hard to talk to you?”

My throat hitches at her outburst. This is the first time she raised her voice at me while I’m under her employ. Percy sags in front of me, eyes wild in her frustration, but it isn’t anger I am seeing in her face. Frustration. Worry. Sadness.

“If you think having me in your employ is more than you bargained for, you can sell my contract.”

“Wait, no! No. I can’t do that. I can’t just sell you like, like a rifle or-or a piece of armor,” Percy exclaims, holding her forehead with one hand.

“You are not selling me, miss. I belong to no one. You will be selling the ownership of my contract that entitles the holder my services in combat, and my full loyalty.”

“You’re not making it sound any better. Plus, we’re straying from the topic.”

Putting her legs on the couch and crossing her legs, she turns to me.

“How do I put this in a way that you’d understand? Charon, you and I are lucky that this happened in the safety of my home. I can’t have you slipping into an episode in the middle of the wasteland. You won’t be able to protect me, or yourself. You'd become a liability instead of an asset.”

“I think I understand now. Very well. I shall allow you to treat me,” I tell her, and she gives me a sigh of relief. I look at her expectantly, and she gives me a questioning look.

“What?”

“If you have any procedures to do, I’m allowing you to do so.”

My mistress rubs her face. “This isn’t like the time I patched up the wounds on your back, Charon. This process could take months, or even years. It’s a gradual thing.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t feel the need to.

“But we can take small steps. Just one thing at a time,” she continues, a slight smile on her face. Percy picks up her book again, and scoots a little closer, the dog nestled between us.

“Do you have any hobbies? Things you do for fun or leisure?” she asks me, that expectant look on her face again. I pause to think. I couldn’t answer. “None.”

“None? You do nothing in your spare time?”

“I wasn’t given the luxury of having ’spare time’ by my previous employers, miss.”

Percy’s shoulders sag further. There’s a look on her face that I haven’t seen in anyone in a long time. Pity. Most people would have fear on their faces when they see me. Not this one. She smiles. She feels worried for me. It relieves and overwhelms me at the same time. But pity? I don’t need it. Especially not from an employer. My function is to serve them.

She must’ve realized the look on her face, because she clears her throat and shrugs her shoulder. “Well then, we have plenty of time to look for activities you’ll enjoy.”

As my mistress continues to flip through her book, Dogmeat perks his head up and gives my ruined face a lick. His fur is no longer as dirty as it was when he found him. Probably Percy’s doing. I couldn’t stop myself. I ran my rough hands on his head to pet him, and the dog started wagging his tail. I glanced at Percy, and she was looking, that smile on her face again, and looked away just as I saw it. She clears her throat and flips to a page.

“Let’s start with grounding techniques.”

December 26, 2277.

It’s the day after Christmas. I can’t remember if I even celebrated it before the war, but Percy’s father insisted we stay with him to celebrate. Percy pulled me aside and told me that her father is religious, and though she never was, she still celebrates religious holidays with him and asked me to play along. My mistress looked uncomfortable and on edge the entire time. Though James was all smiles the entire time, there’s a scrutinizing look on James’ face; Percy shares the same look when we talk to strangers. It makes me feel wary.

Hours before James’ death, I was returning from an errand Percy gave me when I can vaguely hear her argument with her father from another room, muffled by the walls of the memorial.  I wasn’t supposed to listen to a private conversation between a father and his child but I heard my name being mentioned by the doctor.

“Persephone Zhou! That is malpractice! And you’re living under the same roof too?!”

“He has no one else! What, just because I patch him up and I help him cope with his problems -” Percy’s. Her father cuts her off before she can finish.

“Honey, you are Charon’s doctor. And from what you’ve told me, you’ve been providing him services as a psychiatrist too. I can’t even find the words to describe how unethical this… dalliance of yours with him.”

“Dad! Oh my God, we’re not in a relationship! Where are you even hearing those rumors?!”

Though the mistress had been good to me, I can imagine the look of disgust on her face when her father suggested such a thing. Ghouls and smoothskins don’t do relationships, no matter how kind a smoothskin may be. That’s just the way things were.

“I’m sorry, Percy. Word travels fast. I’ve heard some concerning rumors about you and your ghoul friend.”

“Dad, if I did stay in the vault and became the head physician because you left and they killed Jonas, would I be disallowed to pursue any sort of connection because I’m the only doc in that hole? I’d be married to the job like you were after mom died? Is that it?”

“The circumstances are different and you know it. The vault is a very insular community so we had to rely on each other for social support. It would die out if its members did not reproduce or adapt to changes.”

“Dad, you’ve been in the wasteland. There’s just pockets of settlements here in DC, and doctors are scarce. Psychs and people training to be one are even scarcer. Would you call it unethical if they pursued friendships or fell in love with someone who they patched up so many times from being shot at by raiders? Or someone they counseled from all the violence in the wasteland? Jesus, dad, the American Psychiatric Association doesn’t even fucking exist anymore. It’s in ruins. I can even take you there.”

“Watch your language! I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful, Persephone.”

“I’m sorry. But how I say it doesn’t change the fact.”

“The fact is it’s still highly unethical. There are still institutions that exist that teach medicine and they would not approve of your point of view. How did you think I became a doctor?”

“I’m not arguing with you any further, dad. I’ll go run your errands now.”

“Fine. But we’re not done talking, young lady.”

December 27, 2277.

It’s two hours past midnight. Percy’s screams and the sound of her baseball bat crashing against the metal of an old car echo through the scrapyard.

Only after accompanying the scientists to the Citadel, getting in a fist fight with a Brotherhood paladin for almost not allowing us inside because of my presence, and locating a thing called a GECK on the Brotherhood’s computers, did she finally allow herself to grieve her father. And she grieved hard.

At the sound of the bat snapping, she let out another scream and threw the broken weapon across the threshold. On her hands and knees, her glasses fell from her face, then she bruised her knuckles punching the dirt. Only then did I intervene, gently holding her arms and keeping it to her side. To my surprise, she doesn’t thrash or fight back. She froze for a minute, before curling into a ball and crying out as she settled against my chest.

The events that led to James’ death play over and over again in my head. If I hadn’t slowed her down…

“Percy, may I say something?”

She looks up to me, nodding, fresh tears staining her cheek. Her lips are trembling. She finally allowed herself to cry.

“I slowed us down. If I had overcome my episode faster, we would have gotten back to the rotunda and prevented the incident. It cost your father’s life. If you should punish me, or sell my contract, I will accept-”

“No!”

The word came out of her mouth as a broken cry.

“Don’t blame my dad’s death on yourself, Charon. It’s the fucking Enclave’s fault, and no one else’s. You- we, we did the best we could,” said my mistress, sniffling.

“I understand.”

She draws closer and puts her arms around my neck, and my brain misfires at the gesture. It’s like someone set me on fire, but it doesn’t hurt. I had carried and held her before, but nothing like this. My heart was jumping to my throat. Warm against me, she buried her wet face at the crook of my neck. Another sob wracked her body and before I could think, my arms pulled her in an embrace, stilling her.

This isn’t the first time she sought comfort from my presence. She did so every time there were thunderstorms. I never dared to touch her, though a part of me wanted to draw circles in her skin and watch it bounce against my finger instead of flaking off, like mine does.

This is the first time I allowed myself to hold her too.

We remained like that for the next twenty or so minutes, then Percy breaks the silence.

“Charon.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever leave me. Please?”

“I’ll stay by your side as long as you will have me.”

Her arms stiffened in response.

“Are you saying this just because of the contract, or do you mean it? Please. Be honest.”

There it goes again. My breath hitching in my throat. I didn’t know how to respond. My mistress looks at me expectantly with her bloodshot eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She pulls away from the embrace, and she doesn’t look at me as she picked up her glasses and collected herself. Dogmeat, who was terrified by her venting, finally sidles up to her side again and licks her hand. Percy pets him and embraces him in return, burying her face in the mutt’s fur and planting kisses on his forehead.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what that would feel like every time Percy does it to the dog.

On the way to Megaton, she tinkers with the radio on her Pip-Boy, and a broadcast neither of us ever heard before comes in.

“Charon.”

“Yes?”

“I need to go home.”

When we arrived at the entrance of Vault 101, only then did I realize that she didn’t mean her house in Megaton. She let out a shaky exhale as the heavy vault door started to open after she put a password in the terminal.

“Welcome to my childhood home.”