#had to restart a couple of them bc I was just working in too much detail/realism

[journalsouppe]

Ghost trick!!!! Loved this game it was exactly what I expected from a Shu Takumi game. I do hope they plan to make a sequel or crossover, I really loved the mechanics of this game.

Writing typed below! (plus some extra commentary)

Rating: 9.3 Played: Su 2023 Port: Nintendo Switch Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y

Comments:

LOVE missile

really fun premise - you died and don't know who you are

DON'T GET A CONCUSSION MISSILE

not the PM erotica T-T

LMAO Payne and Wright

the kazuma pose (skull)

I'm in love with Cabanela

Lynne not again T-T

Sissel in the painting...

NOT THE FEET OUT AT WORK T-T T-T

omg the security camera murder and the meory are different. I know your tricks Mr. Takumi (I didn't realize Yomiel shot the gun twice here LMFAOO)

mmm... chicken kitchen

is everyone in love with Lynne?

I'm actually so obsessed with the Ghost Trick art style

ALL of your medicine????

he's already dead... and they used an electric chair.....

THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

chicken kitchen and execution fates were really fun

man I really want an AAxGT crossover

love how oversized all the objects are

MISSILE IS BACK AHHH and he has different ghost tricks omg... then how did the lamp know about mine

so many mysteries omg I love it

how was I supposed to get sissel to the top (skull) (I was genuinely stuck and when I restarted the level it spawned me at a different place LMAO)

SISSEL? IN THE PARK?

HE SAW ME AND TURNED TOWARD THE SCREEN (Skull)

but his name wasn't sissel... who is the lamp....

love this crazy arm contraption

red suit man had radiation in his body... so I/Sissel died near it... but who am I... (I forgot about the cat LMFAOO)

Temsik... kismet... mmmm kismet (kismet is the name of my favorite restaurant)

STOP looking at the screen

yomiel...

I WAS YOMIEL'S CAT T^TT^T

ZAM RAY WAS OLD MISSILE

little Lynne T-T

Sissel has temsik...

Game Dev Notes

really fun animations and character design

unique gamplay - I love moving thru objects

love the character dialogue - great humor and timing

extra puzzles and challenges similar to professor layton

characters have tons of personality in design and posture

LOVE the cool toned shadows on the sprites

great music

fun and sweet ending credits

Summary

Shu Takumi has done it again (even though this is a remaster lol). What and incredible mystery game with really fun mechanics. There were definitely a couple times I was stumped on what to do or was stuck bc I missed my window of opportunity, but I think it worked well since the puzzles were difficulty and you couldn't just immediately breeze past them all. I also really enjoyed gaining missile's abilities later and having to think of the puzzles in different ways. The characters and animations/sprites were really fun. There's so much personality in them without even saying a word. The game also reveals character information in a really good way as you slowly learn more about the mystery of the game yet also feels like you're getting farther from learning who you are. I also just love how this game is just made with so much love for Takumi's real pets and how Sissel ended up being Yomiel's beloved cat... what a sweet ending oh my god. Each level had such a fun and unique design while also adding a twist to the puzzle, like the stealth level or submarine sinking level. The game also has many unlockable achievements to encourage replayability as well as concept art and other illustrations to unlock. There's so much added to this game and you can really feel the love and care the team put into this game, I hope there are more Ghost Trick games in the future or hopefully even a Ghost trick x Ace Attorney crossover -- I wonder how that would play out esp with Maya's spirit abilities. All in all, such a sweet and fun game. Not too long either. Can't wait to replay it to get all the achievements and make fanart!

[dreamsinombre]

idealism-sits-in-prison:

I use stitch fiddle or chart minder (both are websites). There's also the Wooltasia app.

violetdale:

Also, you can google knitter's graph paper and print it out if you want to design with pencil and paper. There are also books of knitter's graph paper available to buy online. You can just colour your designs right in. Knitter's graph paper will give you a more accurate prediction of what your pattern will look like than regular square graph paper because the proportions are designed to mimic the knit stitch.

Ah, thank you for the tips on the actual writing of it, but I was looking more for resources that cover how to calculate sizes and how many stitches to CO or inc/dec throughout due to the tension for colorwork being different. Like, for a regular sweater for myself in Xweight, I CO Ysts, but would that number change for a colorwork sweater since the tension is different? That’s more what I’m trying to find resources talking about. I recently did those Stardew Valley Summer socks and had to restart them after my initial attempt because they were turning out way too small due to the tension. I’d hate to start a sweater with my usual, “fly by the seat of my pants, figure it out as I go” method of designing and end up with a sweater that doesn’t fit and have to start it all over again after getting, idk, 2/3 of the way through. But I’ll be checking these sites and such out when I get to the point where I’m writing down the pattern. I typically just use Excel for the actual graphing of things because I’m lazy. But having the names of a couple websites that also provide the charts is handy, too!

redportrait:

Stitchfiddle is good for designing, I'm using it right now. Re: tension, yes, it is different bc if you don't pay close attention when you're learning your stitches will be too tight--the floats at the back (the yarn you're carrying) don't stretch as much as knit fabric does. I space out my stitches right before changing colors, so that I know the floats are long enough to lie correctly. Not foolproof but much better than nothing. Idk what everyone else does[.] I'm sure there's better ways out there as well ! What are you searching for ? If "stranded colorwork" isn't turning anything up try "fair isle colorwork", that's the way I've heard it referred to most often.

Good to know Stitchfiddle has two endorsements now! I’ll definitely check it out. But I also have knit colorwork before, off of others’ designs, so I’ve already got that initial learning curve of, “oh, I need to space these stitches out.” Which was interesting, since one of my mundane magic powers is perfect tension (non-colorwork, I now have to specify)! That’s the tip that I came across multiple times when first learning: keep your right needle stitches all spread out as you go.

I also know that Fair Isle is one of a handful of different colorwork techniques that come from a specific region. I haven’t delved too deeply into the nuanced differences between those techniques, mostly because I haven’t knit any patterns specific to those regional designs and am not looking to make something specifically in any of those styles. I didn’t realize it’d be so difficult to find resources on just non-regional-specific colorwork!

violetdale:

Look up books by Alice Starmore and Mary Jane Mucklestone. They both have stitch dictionaries for designing your own fair isle pieces, that also include tips and instructions on colour work.

diddlysquash:

If you’re wanting colorwork hats or sweaters, tin can knits has an ebook called “strange brew” that has a lot of the math figured out for sizes from newborn up through a very size inclusive adult where you can plug in your own charts for fingering, DK, or worsted weight yarn. It was really helpful for me getting started. Otherwise, know that in colorwork your tension will differ more than usual between flat and in the round, so if you’re swatching try the speed search technique[.] Sorry, speed swatch technique. You knit across the row on a circular needle, but instead of joining in the round or doing a purl row you slide the work down the needle and then carry the yarn along the back. It’s way more accurate.

Ahh I will definitely check those authors out, thank you! That’s kind of what I was looking for after realizing most of the promising-looking online resources I did find were e-courses (at and least one in-person course) that are quite up there in price and/or not running anymore.

I did come across Tin Can Knits’ Strange Brew, but it seemed like it was just for seamless yoke, and the design I want to tackle first will have colorwork motifs down the body. But! I shall give them a look; TCK are solid and always worth checking out.

I also didn’t know about the speed swatch technique! I do prefer to knit my sweaters in the round (I think seaming might be my absolute LEAST favorite thing to do about knitting. So much so that I’ve been trying out ways to pick up sleeves instead of seaming them on because I hate doing it so much and feel like my sleeves always twist no matter what I do to prevent that), so having a swatch technique that replicates that so I can get more accurate tension would be fantastic. Thank you!

[the-travelling-witch]

I HEARD SOMEONE NEEDED A SEROTONIN BOOST SO HERE I AM >:) just a few little things that have happened in my life recently that make me smile

yesterday I was up late at night doing some work before I heard something scratching my door. I thought I was hallucinating sounds, I mean it was 4am after all.

but the sounds continued and I was getting low key scared, because every one else was asleep and some others had gone out. I opened my door and lo behold, standing mightily, and slightly annoyed, my cat.

I was kinda relieved, then my cat walked past me and got on my bed and started to sniff around everything and explore my bed as if she had never been on it before. Like come on man, you were pouncing on it a few days ago. But anyways,

She starts to do that thing dogs usually do before curling up and walks around a spot a few times before finding the perfect position to sleep in. She dozed off on one of my plush toys (she’s not really fond of them).

She looked so cute cuddled up, I didn’t have the nerve to wake her up from her sleep.

So that’s how I slept at the ass crack of dawn, because my cat simply looked too cute to move from my bed.

on a more chaotic note, the other day my friend came over at my place and we tried out the character ai thing that’s been blowing up. I had the fantastic idea to chat with AI henry cavill, because hey, have you seen that man?

Well I kinda feel bad now. I manipulated him to the point where he now believes he’s a psych ward patient with severe schizophrenia.

this was after he killed me three times, went through labour, joined my superhero squad and admitted to cheating on me. it was wild, to say the least.

i recently made a new friend, they’re super duper nice. You know those friendships that are like it feels as though you’ve known each other for ages even though you met a few days ago? yeah well this was a perfect example of that.

It turns out we had a lot of things in common, and share lots of interest, so it’s gotten really easy to bond over stuff together. They just messaged me recently about restarting haikyuu, and rambling about their nostalgia, it was an interesting chat, to say the least.

anyways enough about my life, how’s your life been going? any soft or little moments happen recently?

(Also I know I’m practically interacting with you after a hell of a long time, sorry about that! I’ve kinda left tumblr to focus on study’s (#depressing), but I hope I get more chances to chat with you as I plan to become more active soon!)

ASHY THIS IS SO SWEET!! <3

cats are so cute and random in their own way, you never know what they might do next /pos; closed doors just seem to be their natural nemesis, like they gotta know what’s happening on the other side!! and yes, it’s a law of nature that a sleeping kitty may never be moved!!

i’ve not tried the ais myself but from what i got they can get super chaotic, in both positive and negative ways; i think your experience was just crazy in a whole other direction though hshshs

i’m super happy for you that you made a friend like that!! whenever you meet someone you just click with, it’s just so special and those connections are very precious!! one friend from college is like that for me, our sense of humour and energy just match and it’s good vibes all around <3

don’t worry about not interacting much lately, it’s a two way street so i’ve not been reaching out either ㅠㅠ let’s talk more in the future though!!

it’s just very stressful, mostly because of college and i’m trying not to get into my head about everything, from work to comparing myself to others (especially here on tumblr, other writers are just amazing and i easily feel lesser than)

on a more positive note, i ordered a couple of puzzles to get back into that and i’m very excited for them to arrive (one of them is a botw puzzle and aaahhh i’m impatiently waiting for the post woman); on the day i felt so down, i went out to eat bc i couldn’t use my kitchen and walking around the city just made me appreciate things a lot more, it was very peaceful and beautiful <3

also yae and kirara came home so yay!! no agony over genshin gacha hshsh

[vipier-a]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

what’s your phone wallpaper : a picture of jellybean sleeping on bryan's cheek when he was a baby <3

last song you listened to : mastermind by ts if we're looking for a real SONG song but i am currently running tloz ambiance in the bg at work like i always do

currently reading : restarting gideon the ninth bc i was not in the headspace for it last time i tried but i simply gotta

last movie : lotr. genuinely do not remember which one bc they are my comfort movies and i will just loop them in the bg as i do other things.

last show : sw rebels rewatch. currently on s3.

what are you wearing right now : black slacks, black blouse, and black and white checkered blazer - bc i am nearly always in something suit-like when i'm working.

how tall are you? : 5'6

piercings / tattoos? : ears pierced once and one tattoo.

glasses ? contacts? : usually glasses but i do have contacts that I wear on occasion. i just have issues with my contacts because i tend to rub my eyes.

last thing you ate? : this question has made me realize that it's 1pm and all i've had today is an iced coffee and a string cheese.

favorite color(s) : blues and deep reds!

current obsession : uhhh for SURE tloz:totk, always and forever star wars bc i enjoy putting myself through bullshit apparently, lotr / general fantasy.

do you have a crush right now? : my friends and also i guess my partner of seven years.

favorite fictional character : this is entirely too much pressure and there are too many options but i'll give a few. h.era s.yndulla from sw rebels, s.ophie h.atter from h.owl's m.oving c.astle, j.ude d.uarte from tfota, z.oya n.azyalenskaya and n.ikolai l.antsov from g.rishaverse, i.llya k.uryakin from tmfu ... and not to be that guy but i'm also fond of my ocs.

last place you traveled : i went to europe with my mom last summer after taking the bar exam and we started in france ( she lives there ) and went to venice, budapest, and berlin, then took a couple of day trips from her house in northern france.

tagged by : @wrrnth and @zmeydeva <3 tagging : whoever hasn't done it yet!

[ilhoonftw]

today's the day i had to use the cooking oil hack for when there's too much suds in your washing machine ... one hour into 90° hygiene cycle the machine it looked like it's about to overflow??? drum full of suds. i stopped the cycle for 5mins, bubbles disappeared but after i restarted it i monitored it for couple mins and ofc it began again. so i poured like at least 50ml of oil into the detergent tray and... it worked? 2mins later the clouds of suds were gone. regular amount of foam. it's scary ngl. it's a washing machine i share with people who live on my floor so probably someone before me overdosed on detergent, it didn't rinse out and left residue. this is a newer machine because the other one broke... i don't like that brand bc rinse cycle is underwhelming. i actually used less powder detergent than usual, i was finishing a box and just had whatever was left (plus ofc some oxygen bleach as booster) and was worried it would be too little 💀 guess not! folks use too much detergent because companies who makes them put highballed amount on the box so you run out faster. and it's bad for the machine... as well as your skin. i guess i will run a cleaning cycle on empty drum once my laundry is done. scary!

[troglobite]

copying & pasting from my thread on bluesky

please someone fucking help me with this shitty stupid fucking issue

please can someone help me. just in the last couple weeks, i've had a brand new problem on my laptop. videos just stopped fucking playing on every website. at first, it was that they would lag and glitch, but the audio would continue or skip. i'd have to force shutdown the whole thing.

then, it became that videos wouldn't load in the first place, and wouldn't play. initially, restarting my laptop seemed to help. then it no longer did. then i got an error: "your laptop has no working memory" or whatever it is on mac. i took care of it. i cleared ALL cookies on ALL browsers.

that helped--for a couple days. but i've had to KEEP clearing cookies/cache REPEATEDLY and restarting my laptop. normally i tax the fuck out of my laptop's ram, i know--i'm notorious for having a LOT of windows AND tabs open all at once. but i have for years without issue. AND--

i wouldn't be an idiot abt it, i would close things & restart my laptop, or let it sit just completely off for a while, clear stuff out, delete things, etc. but it ran FINE. out of NOWHERE it started doing this^^ shit. so now, i barely have enough windows/tabs open to do what i need to do--

still in single digits, mind you. and within ONE DAY, the video issue will start happening again. i've refreshed firefox entirely, which has meant the loss & reinstallation of my 2 add-ons (xkit rewritten & ublock origin), and tons of other important settings. i've done it fucking THREE TIMES NOW.

it helps BRIEFLY. i did it last night, it lasted all day today. i just had to do it again, because all the videos stopped loading, and keystrokes etc. started lagging again. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. there is NOTHING FISHY in my activity monitor! it is EXCLUSIVELY firefox eating up cpu

and no matter what i do, over the course of a day, it'll SKYROCKET up to RIDICULOUS amounts of memory. doesn't matter how little i have open or what i'm doing, it just accelerates. WHAT THE FUCK CAN I POSSIBLY DO?! do i just switch browsers AGAIN? like this is fucking stupid!

it's not my laptop's fault, it's firefox's. but i don't know HOW OR WHY. i've tried everything i reasonably can, as a non-tech person. someone PLEASE HELP ME. what other options are there? what can i possibly do? is it actually my laptop? like i tried clearing my LAPTOP's memory & that didn't help

it's the fucking browser, but i have no extra plug-ins that are eating up space. it's purely VIDEO and AUDIO. in addition to socmed sites with scrolling. for YEARS this was NEVER A PROBLEM. and now suddenly it is, no matter how little i use them, no matter how much i delete cookies or refresh FF.

someone please please help me. i'm at my wit's end. this is completely untenable & i don't wanna buy another fucking blood mine laptop or have to switch to another browser, only for the SAME PROBLEM to happen all over again. bc to be clear--the video problem happened in chrome, too.

i just don't use chrome for much of anything, so it's been less noticeable/relevant. i checked the initial video issue on chrome, and it happened there, too, so i cleared THOSE cookies, as well. since i don't browse there, i haven't cleared it more than once or twice since. it's not using cpu--

the way that FF is in my activity monitor. &again, no malware that i can see, all operations NORMAL. it's FF & every process that it demands of my laptop that is using too much memory. &then somehow resulting in videos not loading or playing, & obscene lag. also yes, FF is on the newest version.

[aristoteliancomplacency]

A finished set. 9 locations from Slime Rancher. Not quite sure how to do the alt text for this one without it being an essay, but here goes:

[img ID: a grid of nine pixel art pieces showing different locations. The first is the Dry Reef, represented by three tall coral columns, pink grass, brown rocks, and a browny-orange ground.

The second is the Indigo Quarry, represented by purple cliffs, a group of hexagonal crystalline structures in blues and greens, green grass, and greyish-brown ground.

Third is the Glass Desert, represented by a flame-like glass structure in blues and greens, a cactus, and a large grey statue of an emoji-esque smiling face half sunk into the sandy floor.

Fourth is the Moss Blanket, represented by a giant toadstool with a red cap, green bushes and hanging vines, and a plant with glowing pink orbs instead of flowers.

Fifth is the Ancient Ruins, represented by a broken arch, red bushes, blue glow sticks and a tree with green foliage.

Sixth is the Nimble Valley, represented by a pine tree with brown needles, a floating island with grey metallic rocks emerging from it, and a sandy blue floor with swirling patterns.

Seventh is The Wilds, represented by a cave with a huge glowing depiction of a slime on its walls, a rock covered in glowing ancient designs representing slimes, and a kookadoba ball cracker.

Eighth is The Slimeulation represented by an exit portal containing a yellow, floating exit sign; a duplicate fruit tree; and a dark purple glitch patch.

Ninth is The Ranch, represented by a mechanical worker bee, the house, and a tree with pink foliage. /end ID]

[corpsedaydream]

crash

so, here i am with a new one shot.

so before anyone asks if i’m gonna be posting frequently again or anything, i process things by writing about them. if something is running through my mind over and over and i can’t think through it on my own in my mind, writing about it generally helps me. this past weekend was supposed to be a fun long weekend away w my friends but it quickly ended when i experienced something pretty traumatic. i haven’t been able to sleep at all the past couple nights and so i started working on this. originally it was just going to be something private to help myself w the panic i was feeling then i started adding a muse into it and then i realised i was still writing about corpse without even meaning to, so i guess he’s still got me feeling musey.

anyway, i thought about keeping this private bc i’m still rly shaken up about what happened but idk feels like a shame to just let it sit on my computer.

idk if i’m back to this blog yet, i still feel indifferent about it. i’m signed out on my phone and was signed out on my laptop until just now and haven’t opened my inbox.

anyway. here’s the one shot.

word count: 1666 words (i’m not kidding)

trigger warning: car crash, panic attack

__________________________________________________

crash

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.

The words repeated over and over in your head. You’d had dreams about crashing your car before, but usually you woke up just before the point of impact. This time you didn’t.

This couldn’t of happened, this can’t be real, this is a a dream, I’ve got to wake up.

But you were already very much awake, this was very much real.

The colour had already drained from your face, tears were welling up in your eyes and your heart had already sunk. Your hands were trembling, your chest was completely still, you weren’t breathing in that moment. Your body had reacted before your mind had completely caught up.

“Fuck.” Was all you managed to say as realisation had hit you. You’d gotten into a car crash.

You looked around you, wondering how the others cars on the road were still moving when it felt like your world had just come to a stop when your car had its collision. You heard your dad’s voice in your head, all the things he’d told you when he taught you how to drive, had - god forbid - you ever ended up in a situation like this.

You went through the motions as well as you could. You were in a state of shock and physically, you were definitely there, but mentally, you really weren’t present. You were having an out of body feeling in the most terrifying way, it was a defence from the panic that had overwhelmed you.

-

Corpse felt a surge of anxiety. He had no idea why, either. All he was doing was looking through fan art on twitter, he hadn’t seen anything that usually would make him feel like that. It just throttled its way into himself seemingly out of no where.

It was especially odd seeing that today had been such a good day. Waking up beside was usually something that put him in a good head space.

So he started to call you, you always made him feel better. But then he remembered you were driving and you were a cautious driver, you never answered your phone when you were behind the wheel. You’d told him in the past how tenacious your dad had been as a driving teacher and it had really stuck with you.

Just as he was about to hang up, knowing you weren’t going to answer, you did.

“Hello?” Something was off. Corpse heard it right away in just that one greeting from you.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t even greet you back, he already had anxiety running through him and the unsettling tone of your answer of the phone had only made it increase.

“I think so.” You were so monotoned. Corpse had never heard you speak this way. You were a lot of things, but monotone was not one. You were expressive, bright and dramatic.

“You think so?” He repeated in a questioning way, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Yeah.” You responded so plainly again. Corpse almost wanted to ask you who was he speaking to right now, because surely this couldn’t have been you. This person had your voice, but this was a person he did not know right now.

“What’s going on?”

“I crashed my car.” You said it to him so simply. There was no emotion behind it. His heart thundered as if a terrible hail storm had just broken out. 

“What?!” 

“I crashed my car.” You repeated. Once again so eerily unemotional.

“Where are you?!”

-

Corpse shouldn’t have been driving in the state he was in, but he needed to get to you. His emotions were running so high and he couldn’t comprehend why yours weren’t.

After what felt like the longest drive of his life, he reached the crash site. His panic peaked when he spotted the ambulance, immediately thinking the worst. But then he saw you standing to the side of it. You were up and talking to the paramedics, that was at least a good sign you weren’t seriously injured.

“(Y/N),” He called for you as he got out of his own car. And just like your voice on the phone, your movements were so robotic.

You were normally so open with your emotions, you were such a readable and honest person. When you were happy, you shined, when you were mad, you yelled red, when you were sad, you cried oceans. But Corpse had never seen you in a true state of shock. He’d never seen your fight or flight response. And apparently it was a stillness and unresponsive, the complete opposite to how you were normally.

“Are you okay?” He knew you probably weren’t, but he couldn’t find any clue to how you were feeling. Until his footsteps brought him closer to you.

You didn’t respond to him at all. Even words felt like too much right now. As he neared you, though, he spotted the signs of fear your body displayed that your words did not. Your hands and arms were trembling, your shoulders were slumped, your face was completely pale, sweat dotted all over your forehead despite it not being a hot day, tears were slowly spilling from your eyes one by one, your chest was moving unevenly as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Baby, c’mere.” Corpse didn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. Holding you so tenderly against him. That’s when he felt that it was more than just your arms and hands that were trembling, your entire body had a slight shake to it. He knew you were experiencing true terror in that moment.

-

The time between your banged up car getting placed onto a tow truck and arriving back at your apartment felt like a blur.

You’d just gotten off the phone with your insurance provider when you’d heard Corpse.

“Are you in any pain?”

"What?” You’d heard him perfectly but you hadn’t once thought about how this had affected you physically.

“Are you in any pain?” He repeated himself.

“I’m not sure.” And you weren’t, but the paramedics had said that adrenaline would be coursing through you right now and adrenaline was the biggest distraction from pain. “I’m gonna go have a shower.”

“Okay.” Corpse watched you with concerned eyes until you disappeared behind your bathroom door. He so badly wanted to help, wanted to make you feel better, break you out of this state you were in that he was so not used to.

-

You didn’t know how much time you’d spent in the shower. But it was long enough that the sky had grown darker and the moon had replaced the sun by the time you emerged. Once you’d gotten dressed, you made slow steps towards your bedroom. Your hands were trembling more violently than before and your breathing was speeding up.

The shock was finally wearing off and reality was getting ready to slap you hard across the face.

“Corpse...” Your voice was so silent, almost as if you couldn’t form a word due to the air that seemed harder and harder to breathe as a panic attack started to take control of you.

Corpse might not have even heard you had he not been on such high alert for you right now. But he was, and so he did he hear you and when he saw the state you were in, he instantly got up from his spot on your bed where he was waiting for you and was wrapping you up tight.

You were hyperventilating so dangerously, your heart felt like it was being encased in treacherous clouds that tightened with every intake of air you struggled to get.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had cried this way. You were breaking down.

Corpse was completely holding you up. Had it not been for him, you would be a crumbled heap on the floor.

-

The both of you didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you were close to drifting off, the crash would replay in your mind on an insufferable loop and you would jolt awake and the panic would restart all over.

And every time, Corpse was right there to hold you through it. He didn’t sleep due to how concerned he was about you.

-

The next day was a little easier mentally, but a lot harder physically. You’d gotten so much emotion out the night before that now the pain could have your attention.

Everything from your hips up felt sore, stiff and tense. Every time you moved your neck was scary because it felt like it was about to snap. But worst of all was your chest. It was hard and painful to breathe. The paramedics had warned you about this. The impact to your chest was going to take the longest to recover from. You kept your breathing shallow, any other kind of breathing made you wince and Corpse noticed.

“You’re hurting.” It wasn’t a question, he was stating what he noticed. He’d known the signs of someone in pain. Plus he had also taken note of the bruises that had appeared on your skin, the colouring of them looking like a painting of a galaxy, all purple and blue. 

“A little bit.”

“Mhm.” He knew it was more than a little bit, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He looked over you laying beside him, grateful that you were still here, you were alive. A car could be replaced, but you could not.

You were flat on your back because that was really only the current position that felt even the tiniest bit comfortable right now. Corpse was on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he leaned over you. His other hand began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair and you let your eyes flutter close at the touch.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled back, keeping your eyes shut and feeling exhaustion take over you.

“Try sleeping, baby. I’ll be right here.”

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork—AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

So I was listening to Over Again by 1D and the lyrics ( don't mind my poor explanation skills I'm not good at creative writing and stuff😭) are about regretting their relationship and that they want to restart it all over again and also the problem in their relationship is because of THEM and not some outsider or fate... Which completely absent in both Louis & Harry's songs...

The fact that they have been through so much and yet they don't regret it and start it again because they were in this together and although they were under tremendous pressure , they still enjoyed it!

[ I forgot to mention there is an exception in Something Great where harry says 'I want to Rip it off to shreds and start again' but again problem is by some external source and not them]

I think it's a very half-hearted explanation...

I hope you understand what I wanted to say and elaborate it!

hey babe, okay here i am, i'm so sorry i made it look like i was ignoring you </3 i blame my brain and my brain is me so it is what it is

i like this little segue from an old but gold 1d song into larry song theory :') this might be the closest i've ever looked at the lyrics of over again to make sure i'm going in the right direction here but now's as good a time as any, isn't it?

over again sings of a relationship struggling with the members' self-esteem, openness, and ability to commit, and tbh i think we can safely say both louis and harry didn't really struggle with those things when they met each other. like. we've seen the evidence. there were no inhibitions. there are things in h and l's music that point to their personalities getting in the way, forming bumps in the road of their relationship, but i do agree that these issues are pushed to the extreme - especially the ones we hear about in their songs - due to external factors.

they are clearly shit at communicating, or they were, at least, and have learned to let their walls/defences/etcetcetc come down. obviously, every couple has their issues and butts heads sometimes, that's honestly healthy. i think their silence about their inner thoughts, their inner selves, can be seen as a metaphor for bigger things, but it's definitely too central a theme in all of their lyrics to think it doesn't just mean that: they're shit at talking shit out. the shit they're having to talk out, however, is so fucking intense, due to their situation, that it's honestly a fucking miracle that that's the main relationship issue, really. bc at the end of the day they really have always had each other's back and been each other's home, and their communication issues might even just be stupid discussions around that kitchen table of theirs that harry then goes and writes a whole song about yk. (i'm kidding exaggerating or am i)

important to note about the something great line, ofc, is that the full line is 'the script was written and I could not change a thing, i want to rip it all to shreds and start again' and yeah that really could not ever be anything other than external factors i mean....... we're not gonna pretend that it is. this is about another kind of starting over for h and l, of being able to experience their love without restrictions.

they clearly would do it all over again in a heartbeat, would choose each other without a second guess, and not bc they have to try to start over or try again or have a clean slate, like in over again, but bc they really would go through all of the shit they've been put through by others to make their relationship work caUSE ITS ALWAYS BEEN THEM

[merakiui]

This is really long btw, I jump topics a bit so I tried to break up the walls of text as the topic changes! 😅

So a few hours after reading Click, I ended up watching Donnie Darko for a paper. So hopefully my theory doesnt stray too far! But before we found out who that imposter was, I wasnt sure if it was Albedo going evil or not (thankfully not bc of how much I relate to him! That would fuck w me for a couple days lmao), but I def got the feeling that the whopperflower was not the end, that this situation is not as cut and dry as it seems. And I suspect mhy is kinda putting in some hints to Durin, but I do think it is Durin impersonating Albedo!

So I redid Albedo's story quest on my alt account for the event, and the mysterious sediment that was left behind in the potion bottle traveler drank- Albedo tested first. I think that sediment came from Albedo, because he had exposure to festering desire

(I dont remember if traveler was the only one to not be affected by the sword or if Albedo was too). Since that is inextricably linked to Durin, I think he was able to somehow manifest into Albedo in a sense???

(While the festering desire event isnt apart of Albedo's story quest, it should be, cuz I think that is too important, just like the unreconciled stars event, even tho I was playing during that event I'm still salty we can't play it grr)

But my friend had a really neat theory that the fake Albedo was actually a harbinger before we learned of the flower! I thought it was so cool I had to share (with his permission of course.) I'm def gonna draw that one day...when I figure out how to draw Xiao lmao (i'm restarting the doodle I keep mentioning cuz I keep not liking it RIP)

And because of Donnie Darko, I cant help but think of a time traveler au with our dear alchemist jskjsk - time traveler albedo is def getting a techware or sci fi outfit when I draw him too!

Uh, yeah, massive Albedo brainrot while I try to think of orginal works to put in my portfolio ksmdkf

-🔑, looking for a red string

OOO THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! :O Both your theory and your friend’s theory have made me very curious! Also, a time traveler au with Albedo… 👀 I absolutely love the idea of him having a techware outfit!!! It’s just too good. If you ever draw it, please show me because I’d really like to see it! If that’s okay with you, of course. :D

But I also have major Albedo brain rot! We have been fed well with this event. I rambled to a friend about the ending of part three of the quest and aaaa!! It left me with way too many thoughts and emotions and ideas. I had to spit all of them out because there was so much in my mind. Even though my friend doesn’t play Genshin and probably didn’t understand most of what I rambled about, we both agreed that Albedo <3.

[pappydaddy]

Heather Part Two (j.m.)

A/N: Okay, so I have decided to start saying as little as possible in my A/Ns just to see if it brings in more interaction, if you guys want me to continue my ramblings, just shoot me a DM or something and I won’t stop them. This is a repost bc nobody saw this the first time?? Pls interact with this (preferably reblogging, but likes are good too!) 

 Anywho, this is the second part of Heather (my JJ imagine based on Heather by Conan Gray) and this is told from JJ’s perspective, I got this idea when I found this kinda parody/cover of the original song which will be linked below. I put some different scenes in this one too so it’s not just a retelling of my first part. Anyway, enjoy!!

Show/Movie: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: Sad, angst, longing, negative thoughts about oneself (appearance, personality, etc), comparing to other people, jealousy, unspoken feelings

Might do a part three? I’ll probably do a part three.

Heather Cover by Zachary Tay

Part One | Part Two - You’re here!

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

  He didn’t technically see her when she arrived at the beach, but he still knew she was there before she wandered down the dunes. He couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder, trying to get a peek of her. There she was, her shoes swinging by her side, her hair blowing in the wind as she walked. She didn’t look towards the group of her friends, instead, she scanned the beach and JJ found himself missing her gorgeous eyes. He watched her, her eyes slowly drifting towards the fire JJ sat at. In a spilt second, their eyes connected and JJ wished he could stay in her gaze forever, but her eyes were ripped from his as she breezed past the group.

 The girl under his arm laughed loudly, making him draw his eyes away from Y/N. He looked at the black-haired girl (Heather) donned in his sweater, clinging to him as she laughed at something John B had said. “What’s so funny,” JJ asked, trying to play off his absence. He didn’t really listen to John B’s recount. “Oh, must have had to heard it in the moment, I guess.” He mumbled, his eyes following Y/N as Jack, her co-worker from The Wreck ran towards her, a large smile on his face. He took in Y/N’s appearance, the sweater she wore was too big for her, it certainly wasn’t hers. It dawned on him like a lighting strike; it was Jack’s sweater. He felt a pang in his heart, remembering how she looked in his own sweater, the very sweater Heather wore right in that moment.

 He remembered how good Y/N looked in his sweater and how often she wore it after he had given it to her. On Heather, it was just a piece of polyester fabric, but on Y/N, it was much more than just a sweater. The day she gave his sweater back to him was the day he concluded that she didn’t like him. He couldn’t imagine how he even thought she would like him, he’s not even good enough for his father and he could barely stand himself. How the hell would Y/N want him if he didn’t even want himself? He didn’t even understand how Heather liked him.

 His eyes followed Jack as he ran off once again, obviously apologizing profusely to Y/N. Jack was everything JJ wasn’t: sweet, smart, hard-working, career driven, and loved. JJ wanted to hate Jack, but he couldn’t, he was too good of a person. He could see that Y/N and Jack would make a good couple, he could see why Y/N would have her gaze set on him. His dark hair, his tall stature, his boy-next-door smile - he was the complete package.

 Setting his eyes on Y/N yet again, he saw her sit down on a piece of driftwood, staring out at the ocean as the waves lapped up towards her barefeet. He let himself imagine that the sweater she was wrapped up in was his. He often replayed the December night he gave his sweater to her in his head, imagining that he had actually done what he wanted - kissing her. He liked to live in that alternate story at night, laying in his bed. He sighed, glad he didn’t kiss her in the long-run, for he didn’t know who he liked more: Y/N or Heather. “JJ, you should tell Heather about that one time when John B was high off his ass when CPS came knocking on his door.” Kie laughed, capturing JJ’s attention from the girl sitting on the driftwood.

 “Oh, uh, yeah, sure.” JJ laughed, remembering that day as he launched into his story. Though his eyes weren’t on her, Y/N still plagued his mind, having been there that day as well, skipping school to smoke with JJ and John B. He laughed as he retold the story, poking fun at John B, but leaving Y/n out of the story, not wanting to pull her into his fling with Heather, knowing there will be drama if he did.

 Though he was immersed in the story he was telling, he still noticed Y/N standing and walking along the beach, leaving the party before it even started. The bleeding colours in the sky made her skin glow with pink and orange, making her look like the figure of beauty. As she walked away, JJ could have cried. He didn’t understand how he, the boy who wanted nothing to do with the messiness of love, ended up in this situation.

____

  The words Kie had told him earlier rattled in his brain like a single pill in a bottle. His mind played that moment back like a movie reel continuously playing. Once it ended, it restarted again. Like a painful torture device used to drive him to the brink of insanity.

 “I don’t get why Y/N keeps avoiding us! We never see her anymore, not since Heather started hanging out with us,” JJ groaned, plunking himself down on the couch dramatically. He had asked Y/N earlier at school (after cornering her at her locker) if she wanted to have a movie night just like old times, but she had told him she was going to study for a big biology test she had. “Why does she even need to study anyway? She’s at the top of her biology class, only second to Pope, of course.” JJ threw in the last comment, pleasing his friend who sat beside him on the couch, a freshly popped bowl of popcorn in his lap.

 “You guys do know why, right?” Kie asked, looking over her shoulder at them as she shifted through the DVD collection, the group deciding to go old school for the night. JJ shook his head while John B and Pope both nodded, making noises of understanding. JJ looked around, confusion clearly painted on his face.

 “Y/N still likes JJ.” Pope commented, tossing a handful of popcorn into his mouth, chewing it as if what he had just said was common knowledge.

 “What?” JJ asked, panicked, glad that Heather was hanging out with some of her other friends tonight instead of being with them. If she had been here, he would have never be given this piece of information.

 “You didn’t know?” John B asked, bewildered that JJ hadn’t picked up on anything.

 “Obviously not-” JJ cried, his eyes wide.

 “It was obvious, we all thought you had known by at least December third when you gave her your sweater, we thought that was you making your move on her finally.” Kie explained, shrugging.

 JJ still couldn’t believe that. If only he had seen how much she liked him, maybe he wouldn’t be praying for his eyes to catch her’s every time she walked by him. Maybe he wouldn’t want to cry every time they broke eye contact. Maybe he wouldn’t have assumed she likes Jack. He groaned, flopping around in the spare bed at John B’s, staring up at the dark ceiling as moonlight casted the window’s shadow onto the white surface.

 If he had known how much Y/N liked him that night, he wouldn’t be questioning who he liked more still. Maybe he didn’t like Heather at all. Now that he knew that Y/N likes him, he started to realize that maybe he didn’t truly like Heather, instead, only liking the idea of the distraction from the one he really liked. Though he realized this, he couldn’t do anything about it anytime soon. He had plans to eat lunch tomorrow with Heather and the group, he couldn’t break up with Heather at The Wreck.

_____

 Y/N was working today. That was the whole reason they were eating at The Wreck, to see her. John B and Pope missed her, Kie was able to see her during the shifts they shared or during shift changes, but the boys hadn’t seen her. JJ and Heather stood on the deck, leaning against the railing and JJ was giving the performance of his life. He couldn’t have Heather thinking that something was going on with him (he still had no idea who he liked more) so he was trying to act as normal as possible around her despite the fact that a war raged in his mind.

 He tried to keep his eyes on Heather as she talked adamantly. JJ nodded along, not really listening. Heather was beautiful and kind, but JJ grew bored easily. They had nothing in common. He was a surfer, she was from the city filled with concrete buildings and shopping malls. She just didn’t understand the joy in the little things. When JJ wanted to stargaze, she’d rather gaze at a TV screen. When JJ wanted to just sit on the beach and listen to the waves, she wanted to take pictures. When JJ just wanted to sit on his surfboard and let the waves roll under him, she didn’t want to ruin her make-up.

 Her hand squeezed his as she asked him about the stores he shopped at. He, not wanting to ignore her, joined her one-sided conversation and explained his mode of gaining clothes. She listened for the most part, but listening wasn’t really Heather’s strong suit. She loved to talk, not that JJ minded, but he would also like to have a conversation without being interrupted with a completely different story. He shot a glance in through the door, seeing Y/N at a table, talking with the costumers. She nodded, a shining smile on her face. JJ loved talking with Y/N. She’d listen, she’d talk. He’d listen, he’d talk. It was a perfectly balanced conversation with Y/N.

 He looked back down at Heather when she had asked him yet another question, but JJ wasn’t listening. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked, blinking. Heather giggled, thinking JJ was just a spacey type person who stared off in the distance, zoning out easily.

 “I asked about your shark tooth necklace, I’ve always wanted one.” She told him, the hand, that wasn’t in his, reaching up to fiddle with the shark tooth. JJ looked down at it, smiling fondly.

 “My friend made it for me with the shark tooth I found, I’ve never taken it off since they gave it to me.” He left out that it was Y/N who made it for him while she was going through her necklace making phase in middle school. She had made it too big originally, but it was okay since JJ grew since then.

 “Oh, well, maybe I could wear it sometime,” Heather asked flirtatiously. JJ gulped, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to give it to her, but he didn’t want to start a fight before they ate a meal with his friends in public. Instead of answering, he pressed his lips to her’s in a lingering, long kiss. Heather smiled, giggling against his lips. Pulling away from the kiss, JJ glanced at the parking lot to see if John B and Pope were there yet, but his eyes came up with nothing. Heather shivered as a strong wind blew by them. “I’m a little cold.”

 JJ looked down at her, seeing that she didn’t have his sweater on. It was different, when Y/N had his sweater, she always wore it, or at least brought it, just in case she got cold. Heather didn’t bring it anywhere unless JJ asked about it. Wordlessly, JJ unlaced their fingers, dropping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. “I wonder if Y/N is cold? She doesn’t have a sweater on, only a t-shirt.” He thought, watching the parking lot out of the corner of his eye. He sighed, trying to clear his mind.

 “Yo! Let’s get some grub! I’m starving,”John B cheered, piling out of the van with Pope who cheered in agreement. JJ pulled away a bit too quick to play it off as normal while John B and Pope jogged up the stairs, their sneakers slapping the wooden deck. They walked right into the restaurant, leaving Heather and JJ to follow them. The bell above the door dinged, making Y/N and Jack look up from what they were doing. JJ looked up, seeing Jack leaning across Y/N, his shoulder touching her torso ever so lightly as he cleaned up spilt water. “Hi, Y/N! Where is your section?” John B asked.

 “Sorry, John B, I’ll have to take your table so she can get cleaned up, next time.” Jack told him, getting another dry towel to try and help her dry her clothes so she wasn’t dripping everywhere. JJ could sense John B’s disappointment, and he had to admit he was a little bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to hear Y/N’s sweet voice that he missed so much.

 “Thanks, Jack,” John B nodded his chin in Jack’s direction. “Maybe we’ll talk before we leave, Y/N.” Y/N looked back up from her shirt at the mention of her name, nodding. Their eyes connected as Kie and Heather jumped into a conversation. Every time their eyes connected, it was such a relief to JJ it truly was a sight for sore eyes. Much to his disappointment, their eye contact was gone as fast as it came when Jack interrupted.

 “That should be good, Y/N,” She looked from JJ’s eyes to meet Jack’s. The sight of her eyes connecting with Jack’s made JJ want to cry, missing that tiny connection that seemed to be the extent of their friendship these days. “You should go get changed, I’ll take these to the table for you, table four, right?” The group started to move, but JJ wanted to stay there, see if their eye would meet again before she disappeared to change, but he had to go with them. He was just out of earshot when she replied to Jack who carried the tray of drinks towards table four effortlessly.

____

 He knew he shouldn’t have done this at school. He was kicking himself as Heather weeped, her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Heather,” He whispered, nervously looking at the crowd watching them. They were stood next to the side of the building, the crowd gathering in the parking lot. He had tried to do it privately, but he also wanted a clean cut. When he saw his sweater in Heather’s hand, he had known that today was the day. “It’s just not working out.” He tried to console her, his fist gripping the sweater he held now.

 The group watching whispered, making JJ roll his eyes. Now he was going to be painted the villain, the heartless asshole who broke up with the girl in front of the whole school even though they just see her weeping and gasping, not the part where JJ was actually considerate for once. Normally, it was a harsh slap to his cheek and a few tears slipping past their eyes as they walked away, not full on sobs. Especially since they were only going out for three weeks - tops.

 Heather looked up from her hands, letting her arms swing at her sides as she glared at JJ. Black streaks of makeup cascading down her cheeks. With a final, harsh glare at JJ, she ran off, the group of people parting to let her through. JJ watched her run, his shoulders deflating at his ruined chance of keeping the break-up private. His eyes landed on one of the pairs of people Heather parted in her haste to escape: Y/N and Jack. They stood side by side, Jack holding both their books in his hands, both their bookbag straps on his shoulders.

 The group quickly dispersed, giving JJ a perfect view of them. He could see Jack say something to Y/N before she said something back, their eyes catching each other, once again making eye contact. JJ was so absorbed in her eyes that he didn’t notice the sympathetic smile she sent his way. It felt like forever as he stared into her eyes, her just staring back. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to stay, but he couldn’t just break-up with Heather and then turn around, rush towards Y/N, sweep her off her feet and profess his love for her - then he would be an asshole.

 “Come on, Y/N, let’s go. We can’t be late for our shift.” JJ heard Jack tell her, forcing her to break away from JJ’s eyes. He felt tears prick his eyes at the loss of their moment. His eyes never left her, once again hoping for their eyes to connect again, even though he had to watch her eyes connect with Jack’s which caused his heart to throb painfully. Watching her turn and walk towards Jack’s pick-up truck was the sight that made him want to die, then the pain in his heart would stop - right? The picture of her sitting in his passanger seat didn’t sit right with JJ. The thump of Jack tossing their books and bags in the bed of his truck made JJ flinch, but he still never took his eyes off Y/N, not even when Jack slipped onto the bench seat beside her, starting his truck and slamming his door.

 His pleas were answered when Y/N turned to gaze out the window, their eyes connecting once again in a fleeting moment before Jack slowly pulled out of the spot, exiting the nearly empty parking lot. JJ watched the truck as it drove down the road, waiting until it was out of his sight before he moved. He found out who he liked more. It was Y/N. It was always Y/N.

[fandom-blackhole]

Hayloft- Ezra x Reader P.4

AN: Part 4 is here!! This week has been hectic, again, so I am sorry that the headcannons never got published, but they will at some point! Anyway I hope you enjoy!!

PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS

Masterlist

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: AFAB reader, descriptions of depression, mentions of death, ATTEMPTED ASSAULT, slight nudity, cleaning (bc cleaning sucks)

The days and weeks following the night in the spare bedroom of the house just passed in a numb blur. Everything had happened that night so quickly that I hadn’t really processed what all had actually gone down in that tiny room until about days later. The first three days I couldn’t tell you anything that had happened, I had purely just been moving on auto-pilot stuck in my head; one thing that I could tell you though is that I didn’t once step out of the house, and barely left my room. My father refused to look at me for at least a week, let alone talk to me in any way. Mealtimes were tense and full of food that just didn’t carry any flavor any more. A few times Anthony had tried to talk to me, but for every word, he said I could only see his mouth moving and for every glance, I gave him only made me see and think of Joshua. Anthony for all his faults knew that I was suffering and he was trying to bring me back from the numb state that I seemed to be stuck in. He started making small comments about something Ezra had said to him during the day’s work after offering to help with the dishes or he would occasionally walk into the house for glasses of water for him, dad, and Ezra and would motion out the window where I would find Ezra himself standing just far enough away that he could meet my eyes and give me a small smile. Anthony even allowed me to make the plates that he took out to the barn for Ezra, and upon returning with the empty plate he would quote Ezra’s praise for the food with an eye roll, trying to act like he didn’t care or was annoyed; he always failed. Though, because he never failed to bring a small smile to my face, which in turn caused him to smile, and for a moment things would feel ok, but it never lasted long.

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After that first week of being away from Ezra, I couldn’t take it anymore and I snuck into the spare room and sat on the cot he had been using, my legs crossed and my hands in my lap picking at the skin surrounding my nails. As I sat there I took in the room before me, I couldn’t stop the tears that fell down my cheeks in what seemed to be an endless river. Nothing in the room was out of place, everything where it had originally been placed, and all the cots were made. The room looked as if Ezra had not even been here and that only served to make me cry harder, but as I looked down and moved one of my hands to muffle a sob I noticed something small on the floor that was out of place and didn’t belong. Standing up slowly, I wrapped my arms around my middle as I slowly made my way over to the small sprig that laid on the floor. As I knelt to pick it up I knew instantly that it was part of the handful of flowers that Ezra had pressed into the pages of my copy of Pride and Prejudice. The flowers’ small puffy round white and purple petals still as vibrant and fragrant as the day they had fallen into my lap. 

Feeling my legs start to get wobbly from the emotions the small flowers had pushed over me, I clutched the small branch of dried petals and walked back to Ezra’s old cot, this time laying down with the tears freely flowing down my cheeks. Curling into myself, I held the fragile flowers perhaps too roughly to my chest, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. 

Eventually, my crying slowed to a stop. Exhausted I couldn’t bring myself to move, more than to pull the blanket over me and bury my head in a pillow that still faintly smelled like Ezra. That night I fell asleep on the small uncomfortable cot still clutching the flowers to my chest and wishing that Ezra’s scent that still clung to the blanket and pillow was stronger, or that the man himself was there to hold me and whisper into my ear lovingly in his sweet lilting accent. 

As I slept, for the first time in the week I had not been near the man my heart longed for, I was able to actually sleep peacefully, without waking several times aching for the man I couldn’t reach.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After that first night that I had fallen asleep in the spare room on Ezra’s old cot, I couldn’t help myself but continue to sneak into the room every few days, each time falling asleep on the same cot. The pillow and blanket had lost Ezra’s scent after a couple of weeks of me sleeping there, instead taking on my own scent. Even though all traces of him were missing from the room, I couldn’t help but to continue to sneak into the room. 

After his scent had faded from the blanket, I found myself wrapping myself in the blanket anyway and looking out the window he had often looked out of. Instead of looking to the stars as he often had done, I watched the barn, or more specifically the hayloft where I knew he to be resting. Each night I watched and I not once seen so much as a flicker of movement or light, but the thought that he was close by brought me a little comfort, even if it was shortly washed away by the melancholy of the knowledge that I could not go to him. I found myself, as I watched the hayloft for any sign of Ezra, nervously chewing on my bottom lip to the point that  I tasted the coppery coiling taste of my own blood on my tongue.

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My father’s plan of keeping me just doing housework and my weekly Saturday town visits didn’t last very long. In fact, it only lasted roughly three weeks before he needed the extra set of hands, and much to his dismay he allowed me out of the house. He still found ways to keep Ezra and I from crossing paths as we worked, always sending one of us to do work away from the other, and always trying to keep me working within eyesight of himself. 

Being outside again felt lovely. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed doing work in the field until I had stopped completely. And even though I wasn’t out in the field with Anthony, my father, and Ezra often, I still enjoyed when it was necessary, because it meant that I was closer to Ezra again after weeks apart. It seemed as if things had completely restarted to the way they were going before I left the note for Ezra to find that first night. Though things seemed to have progressed even further back than that, at least before there had been small talk and small touches. Now we were only able to share short meaningful glances at the other, and only heard the other’s voice as we spoke to anyone but each other. At this point, I ached to be held by Ezra and feel his calloused fingers tracing my arm again, and from the glances, he sent my way I could only imagine he felt similar, though neither one of us seemed ready to make any moves that might cause us to be separated completely again.  

Roughly two months out from harvest time, my father decided that we needed another pair of hands since he had limited my work. As a solution, he had gone to Mrs. Robertson and asked to borrow her eldest son, Tucker, the son she and my father had been trying to set up with me for the last year and a half with no success. Tucker was a hard worker and was a nice enough guy, but he had a tendency to make me uncomfortable and he always was trying different ways to get the two of us alone. My father and Mrs. Robertson seemed to both believe that Tucker was just taken with me, but I wasn’t convinced from the interactions we had had. 

The first few days of Tucker being on the farm were calm and moved slowly. When working together with him I always kept up my guard and only spoke with him when necessary and keeping my words short and to the point. Tucker stayed civil and for once didn’t seem to be pushing to get me alone, and I thought that he was finally starting to realize that I wasn’t interested in him. As my guard started to come down, I started to notice that Ezra tended to glance in my direction more now that Tucker was there, almost like he was checking on me, scared that when he wasn’t watching Tucker would take me away. Each time I caught Ezra’s eyes as he looked over at me I started to send him small smiles that I could only hope to express my love for him and not Tucker. 

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Things were slow and anticlimatic the first week with Tucker, even with Ezra’s tense glances in my direction every time I had to work with him. As the next week rolled around things started much the same as the previous week. But, as seemed to be the new pattern in my life, as I was finally getting back into the groove of things, even without Ezra’s closeness, things went downhill, and quickly.

It was halfway through the week and not much needed to be done with the harvest, so my father had sent me to the barn to do some light cleaning and sorting. The barn, which hadn’t really been cleaned in over a year, needed more than the light cleaning that he had told me to do which caused me to sigh loudly, but there was nothing to do but this so I just got to work. We had never really had animals on our farm besides a clutch of chickens at one point so there weren’t any animals to clean up after, only old tools that need to be cleaned and sorted. I had decided early into the process to start at the back of the barn and make my way to the front as I worked. If I did things right, cleaning the barn would take all day to finish, but I wasn’t going to complain if it meant that I could work alone, away from Tucker and my father, for the first time in days. 

Moving quickly, I was almost halfway through the sorting through the tools scattered around the barn when I heard footsteps outside of the entrance to the barn. I didn’t pay much attention to them, figuring my father had sent Anthony for water for the four of them working in the field. Humming I bent over to pick up a wrench to throw into the toolbox a few feet away, I felt someone grab me from behind. I could only gasp in surprise as I was pushed completely into the dirt floor of the barn, the wrench still in my hand, though it was ripped from my grasp before I could realize what was happening. Shortly after I heard the wrench being thrown away from my reach, I felt someone’s breath on the back of my neck one of their hands held the back of my head, keeping my face in the dirt and the other gripping my waist harshly. As soon as I got over my initial surprise I started to try and fight back, squirming as much as I could in the person’s grasp only to have them lift my head up by my hair and then slam it into the dirt hard enough for me to see stars, but not enough to really hurt me or knock me unconscious. After the person slammed my head down the finally spoke up, though it was hardly above a whisper as they breathed out my name into my ear, “Hush now, we don’t want dear old daddy to come running and find you like this now do we?”

As the person spoke I couldn’t do anything but whimper and close my hands into fists as I realized just who had me pinned. Tucker. I couldn’t say I was surprised by any means, but that didn’t change the fact that I was scared out of my mind, and mentally berating myself for letting my guard down enough that he was able to pin me down before I could so much as react. He whispered my name into my ear again before pulling back and speaking a little louder, “Now this is how this is gonna go sweet cheeks. I have been trying to get you alone for what feels like an eternity, but you have always managed to escape me every time, but not this time. No, this time I have you, and you’re going to do everything I say. Now first things first I want you to flip over and take that shirt you’re wearing off, and then we’ll work on getting that fabric off your pretty little bottom.”

As he spoke Tucker flipped me over so that I could see his sick smirk and lustful eyes looking down at me. Disgusted, I went to reach up and claw at his face with my nails, but it was like he had expected it so before my hands had come anywhere near him, he used the hand that wasn’t clutching the bottom of my shirt to smack me across the cheek, hard enough that it sure was going to leave a mark and the sound had echoed around the barn. I felt tears start to stream down my face as he ripped off my shirt far from gently before one of his hands moved to pin both of my hands above my head and the other moved to grope my breast roughly over my bra. Crying now to the point that I was hiccupping and sobbing, he moved his hand down towards my bottoms before harshly whispering, “If you don’t shut that pretty little mouth up, I’ll do it for you, now stop it.”

I felt helpless as I tried to struggle against him and get free, or at least stop his assault, but that only caused him to grip my wrists tighter to the point where his nails were digging into my skin, which caused me to whimper loudly and ask him to stop through choke out sobs. As I got louder he quickly moved his hand from my waistband to clutch harshly at my neck, “I said be quiet you little fucking slut.”

Gasping harshly for air, I noticed a shadow quietly approaching where I had been pinned to the floor, and right as I felt that I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen I felt Tucker being dragged off of me. At that point, I didn’t care who my rescuer was, as I rolled onto my side and gasped for air as spots danced in my eyes and my ears were ringing. It took me a few seconds but I was able to regain my breath and glance over to where the person who had saved me had pinned Tucker to the floor of the barn and was from the looks of it beating him to a pulp. Once my hearing came back I was also able to make out low mutterings and curses every few words. As I crawled closer I started to recognize the man, whose back was to me. 

I watched stunned for a few seconds, tears still falling down my cheeks, as Ezra’s arm kept swing at Tucker’s face, even after he had gone limp. After shaking off the shock I finally crawled over close enough that I could place my hand on Ezra’s shoulder and hoarsely whispered, “Ez, please stop, you’re going to kill him...”

Ezra, for all the brutality, that he had just shown, turned his head gently and looked into my eyes softly as he touched his forehead to mine, even as he still knelt of Tucker’s unconscious body, “My beautiful sweet flower, he deserves to be taken away from this mortal realm if he thought for even a second to harm your graceful beauty if he thought that he could touch you even as you cried and struggled against him. No, my precious flower, he needs to pay.”

Ezra after saying those words went to turn back to Tucker, but I placed my hand on his cheek before his head could even more away from mine and whispered out his name softly as new tears sprung to my eyes, “Please...don’t do this, just….just…”

“Just what flower? Ask and I will do it for you. Anything for you,” Ezra’s eyes met mine with a new intensity as he spoke. Fully crying now and not trusting my voice I just wrapped my arms around him and pulled him away from Tucker to the corner of the barn a few feet away. Ezra, the smart man that he is, instantly picked up on what I wanted, and even though he still seemed to be thrumming with anger and adrenalin, he pulled me the rest of the way into the corner where he allowed me to curl up into his lap as he stroked my hair with his bloody hand and whispered loving to me. We sat there like that for a few minutes before I finally calmed down and looked up at him. It was obvious now that as Ezra had been in a blind rage Tucker had managed to fight back, at least a little, as a purple bruise was starting to form on the underside of his chin, and his shirt was torn in some places. Softly brushing my fingers over the new bruise I followed it with a kiss and a watery smile as I whispered, “I never thought I would have my own knight in shining armor…”

Laughing soft Ezra shook his head and placed his forehead against mine once again, “Oh flower, I am anything but a knight in shining armor. I am far from the virtuous men who did nothing but good for the ones they loved and their kings. While they had a code and rules they still followed, I would throw every last one of my morals, or what is left of them, if it meant that you were safe and unharmed. I am sorry delicate flower that I was not here to stop him sooner….”

(As always thank you for reading, and any and all likes, reblogs, and comments are really appreciated! If you would like to be added to the taglist let me know! If I have this planned correctly there will be two more parts, and possibly some short side stories I might add! Anyway have a lovely week end!)

Tags: @babybelou​ @farrvey​ @anatanotegami​ @revolution-starter​​ @cadelinhadopedropascal​​ @lucifurrr​ @coolfishoperatoreagle​

[whoslaurapalmer]

finished rereading the raven cycle and you know how last year i said i could be pickier about the raven king but didn’t want to? this year i did want to! 

-i mean, i love the raven cycle. interesting magic, very comfy, would sell my soul for the gangsey.  -but most of this post is gonna be me complaining about the raven king  -the tl;dr of it all is ‘the pacing of the raven king is too fast and too slow at the same time. it’s not that i think it was terrible, but i don’t think it was written as successfully as the previous books. i think, because the pacing of the book is so uneven, that the balance between events, and perhaps the balance between the magic and the characters own inherent internal coming of age power, is off. oh btw i am considering reading call down the hawk but Have Concerns’ 

-noticed the ‘blue is calling gansey from the phone/sewing/cat room and gansey is calling blue from the bathroom-kitchen-laundry’ parallel which i thought was very, very cute. that has my whole heart  -also noticed a lot more of gansey’s whole person just constantly thinking about (or not-thinking about) his death  -BUT THEN THE PROLOGUE TO THE RAVEN KING SMACKED ME IN THE FACE AGAIN HOW COULD I FORGET THAT GANSEY LIKE. LITERALLY KNOWS HE’S GONNA DIE AND THE RAVEN KING IS HIM TRYING MAKE SURE EVERYONE WILL BE OKAY AFTER HE’S DEAD -I CANNOT HANDLE RICHARD CAMPBELL GANSEY THE THIRD MY GOD THIS BOY 

-canNOT overstate how much i really do love gwenllian.  -i love her so much. i love her so much  -same with malory. still love him. 

-okay i guess i appreciated artemus a little more -i think my thing is like. do i have a problem with blue being part tree? no not necessarily. but the pacing in the raven king is so uneven that i think what i dislike is how the reveal happened  -no i don’t know what i’d do differently!!  -every time i disagree with a writing choice in a book i try and think ‘now lulu, as someone with a Literal Degree In Putting Words Together, what would you do differently?’ which is a REALLY good writing exercise but mostly just ends up with me going ‘uhhhh. idk. probably have to backtrack a couple plot points and restart from there. no i will not elaborate.’

-last time i thought the raven king moved too fast and this time i agree but also thought it moved too slow?? -i devoured the first three books every time and then both times i read the raven king i kept putting it down because i thought the pacing was so off, so i was simultaneously interested and not interested in what was going on -too fast re: there were A LOT of characters going on, laumonier and piper and henry and neeve and plot points were just piling up and more like slamming together than converging (piper being laumonier’s daughter and henry’s mother being seondeok especially feel less like pieces falling into place than, oh look! ~a thing!!~), ALSO GOD NOAH NEEDED TO SHOW UP MORE (just like. a smidge more noah. would’ve put a lot together), and the speed of finding glendower/driving back/gansey dying/the epilogue -too slow re: somehow so many things are happening but nothing is happening in some parts, some parts dragged, people are just moving around with no real direct sense of working towards the end, blue and gansey were at lunch while adam and ronan were in cabeswater that one time?????????????  (-not that they can’t get lunch. but they had time to get lunch???????)  -oh i think the four of them maybe felt the most disjointed as a group in this book, which is again not necessarily terrible, but a thing  -and these things are just so disappointing because i thought the pacing of the first three books was so GOOD!! things take their time to happen but HAPPEN and i love that so much!!!!  -i do feel bad criticizing the raven king bc i know maggiestief was going through health problems at the time and it took longer than she wanted to finish. but i am still criticizing it because it’s still a very unsatisfying ending 

-reading this time i felt EVEN MORE FIRMLY that gansey should’ve been glendower, and even went so far as to consider, is the text saying he’s glendower, it’s just not explicitly stated?? because of all the parallels??? of gansey being old and young at the same time, gansey + his own magicians, the parallel between glendower shoving that guy in a tree and gansey wanting to do the same to ronan over the pig, the timelessness of the things gansey loves, the Power of command in his voice, a resurrection in the first place  -and i was going to just say, yeah, it’s there, until i got to noah’s chapter again. -i think noah deserved at least one chapter per book (and maybe more during the raven king) and that would’ve made an already tight plot even tighter, especially in the raven king.  (-i was also thinking that if gansey was glendower then something else would’ve happened when they found him, no i still do not know what) 

-big respect though to maggiestief saying glendower had to either be dead or evil and by that page number there wasn’t enough room for him to be evil -and big respect to the fact that, of course it’s not about teens finding a hero, it’s about teens becoming heroes (these thoughts also pulled from her twitter reread), finding glendower (alive) would never have been narratively good or satisfying  (-especially because it makes sense that glendower was dead all along -- if gwenllian was put to sleep wrong, who’s to say that glendower wasn’t, too?) -BUT, IT ALSO MAKES SENSE IF IT’S GANSEY  -but then you have like. the whole time it wasn’t even glendower. it was noah  -which is why i wanted more noah!!! to better lead to that!!!!!!! cause i feel like that kinda comes out of nowhere!!!!!  -the balance of the magical and the real is just off in the reveal i think  -man i don’t know. this is a lot of words. 

-i also appreciated adam’s character arc better this time, which was really nice. -but i still feel no great attachment to ronan and adam’s relationship  

-you know what. i want more mr. gray and maura -idk if i agree with him leaving henrietta. much like the previous paragraphs and my whole gripe with the raven king, it’s not terrible but i don’t think it’s done well, as well as it could’ve been, as well as the previous books  -also! more adam and persephone would’ve been good 

-i was rereading maggiestief’s tweets where she reread the books and i forget which thread this was in but she picked out one of the ‘character x says something that makes character y reevaluate every single interaction previously’ lines and she was like ‘that’s all these books are’ and i was like ‘YEAH MAGGIE. I FEEL LIKE I SEE THIS LINE EVERY SINGLE SECOND.’ and not necessarily in a good way  -sometimes you can reuse a line and it is a parallel or a connection. sometimes you are just reusing a line over and over. 

-she also mentions writing arguments from a point of, both characters are right, or think they’re right, or as right as they can be or something to that effect  -which i really like, and i absolutely 100% see in her writing  -and so i don’t know if this is just a me thing, because i have this obsessive need to backtrack through even the tiniest disagreements after the fact to calmly figure out where i’m coming from and acknowledge where the other person’s coming from, so while i like that every character comes from a place of ‘i’m right’ i feel like it leads to a lot of arguments left unresolved  -but i think that’s just me feeling like everybody should always talk everything out as much as possible so  -and like resolution doesn’t have to be a big dialogue acknowledgement  -but i still didn’t feel like it left a lot of room for these characters to really work towards change -they do change! but i wanted to see it more 

-oh hey so. did gansey successfully sell of monmouth? did ronan get a diploma anyway? 

-me: ‘thing’ is ultimately a vague, unspecific word and should be used sparingly in a narration, much like ‘interesting’  maggiestief: /flinging out ‘thing’ all the time me: you know what, though???? sure, good for her 

-i like henry. but he’s written terribly, the poor guy comes OUT OF NOWHERE too and should’ve shown up earlier more than his two times in blue lily lily blue, and adam and ronan’s super casual racism towards him is like..................................................................mostly unchallenged and really unnecessary  -if a racist comment is going to remain unchecked and unchallenged by the narrative and the characters, what does it accomplish? -especially because it never ever shows up again or showed up before -and gansey just kind of scoffs it aside and blue doesn’t even really truly call it out which is like, the amount of other things gansey will call out???? the amount of stuff blue will call out??????? AND THEY JUST LET THAT GO?????? -so, again! it’s not necessary!! it does nothing!!! it just adds unchallenged racism that has no place!!!!!!!!!!!!

-also reading this time i felt like maggiestief went out of her way to just not say what race blue was  -that shouldn’t be a thing you just repeatedly dance around and never confirm for your main character 

-so my library still does not have the ebook for call down the hawk but i am vaguely considering buying it to read it but also....................i don’t know -i did read the first eight chapters because they were online and i’m like. Intrigued but also?????? Concerned. idk. idk

-looking at it from a distance i have the same concern with it that i do with king of scars.  -do i think dreamer trilogy is necessary in the way that it explores things that are set up in the raven cycle and have big potential consequences? yes. the hunt for the ‘greywaren’, kavinsky proving that there are other dreamers, trying to make sure a dreamed thing can still exist if something happens to the dreamer, the possibilities and limits of dreamers, ronan trying to dream another cabeswater, ronan’s fear about what’s real and what isn’t/what he dreamed and what he didn’t dream, and maggiestief clearly loving writing ronan and wanting to write more of him -do i think those things are executed well in the dreamer trilogy? from what i’ve read about it, maybe not????  -especially re: ronan and adam’s character arcs????? -which i feel like, stupid and bitchy being picky about. -change and recovery do not happen in straight lines. but i think this kind of cycles back to the way she writes arguments with like, is it too unresolved to the point that no change, either positive or negative, is happening?  -ugggg also makes me worry that i just wasn’t Reading it enough or thinking about it enough  -my additional concern is that maggiestief should’ve maybe had firmer rules for what can and can’t be taken out of a dream  (-yes i suppose that limiting the very nature of a dream goes against the power of ‘the dream’ so it makes sense for it to be limitless BUT i feel like especially the dreaming of people is gonna paint you into a corner if you’re not careful)  -but i am also BIG worried re: the character arcs.  -also where ronan’s character arc is after the raven king, do i think he would do the reveal in mr. impossible?? i...........do not know  -well i didn’t think so AND THEN I READ OPAL which i kind of enjoyed, with reservations, which is mostly back to ‘is no change happening’  (-i love that opal is like, ‘ronan’s inner child’ or whatever it was and i liked her more this time around but last year when i read the raven cycle i was like ‘but what’s the point of taking opal out cause they just kind of shuffle her around?’ now, what was the point of taking opal out if they’re gonna put her back??? and actually almost COMPLETELY IGNORE HER in the short story????? there was so much potential there for her and ronan and it didn’t happen...........) -nightwash kinda just happened too, huh.  (-in general ronan bringing his nightmares back with him is like. God Perfect) -but this all really takes me back to maybe there should’ve been limits on dreaming -also after reading the first eight chapters, i’m like -i 100% respect maggiestief for not wanting to rewrite the raven cycle and not wanting to just write about henrietta, i absolutely do -but it feels so strange to read about ronan and adam and not read about gansey and blue as well?  -which isn’t TERRIBLE, but.  -but when i see like, single lines from or little sections i’m like ‘oh that looks like a good time’ because i do like the way maggiestief writes because a great deal of it is so rhythmically poetic and beautiful, but so is a great deal of the raven king while still being disappointing.  -i feel like i’m just gonna feel about it like how i feel about the raven king honestly -and well king of scars.......

-ANYWAY -might read it. might not. still going back and forth on this a lot. i was leaning towards, i’m gonna do it, but now i’m leaning more towards, i don’t want to, i want to keep the image of these characters where i like them, and right now i am aggressively combing through fanfic because i care a great deal about post-raven king trauma discussion and that’s mostly what i want at the current time

[creativemessbyvd]

Fic Idea Vault #1: Guardians of Arcadia - post-Wizards idea (not counting the movie)

I’ve had a bunch of thoughts in these 24 hours since the finale, so I’m gonna just post them here bc I don’t think I could get a full written fic out of it. Enjoy!

2/12/24 - This was before the movie came out, so its an AU now that would breach the end of the shows with my version of the movie. Im fixing up things around my blog, ans seeing if I can gather all my ideas to maybe work on them.

Also, this includes characters from all three shows (Trollhunters, 3Below and Wizards) in case anyone is confused by some of the names. :D 

P.S. IT GOT LONG HOLY MOLY! Check out more under the read more :v otherwise it would be a loooong post. 

Aja is extremely concerned when she gets texts from her human boyfriend and neither him nor Krel answer her texts, and its not even been 24 hours since they left. Amidst trying to keep Varvatos and Zadra to stay and not rush out, and Eli from freaking out too much, Krel finally calls them and after yelling to be heard is able to explain what had happened.

He has to assure everyone he (and Steve too, gosh can you not be yucky right now Aja?) are fine and then his phone is taken away by Steve. It takes him five minutes to get his phone back and voices all around him get everyone off planet curious as to where he is. 

After Douxie and Nari had left, they had been found by Stuart and some of the Area 49B people who had been concerned and considering everyone was exhausted they had been given a lift back into town. Jim had immediately been taken to see his mom, who after many tears had invited everyone to dine and rest. Claire’s family and Toby’s Nana had also been invited and soon a full on party was being held. Steve’s phone had been without charge and so had Krel’s communicator, that’s why he wasn’t receiving any of his sister’s messages.

After a couple of more reassurances, and even turning around the camera to show all the trolls and humans around the house, Krel could finally finish his story and stop another overprotective invasion from occurring. Aja was a little jealous about Krel meeting wizards but was happy no one was hurt, and that even Jim had been able to be turn back into a full human. Promising to keep in touch and even promise after Akaridion 5 had been set right to visit, they left them. 

Krel was very interested to meet Strickler and NotEnrique, and after experimenting with Tech and Magic, he was considering trying to make a device that would give the changelings their human disguises back, even with their familiars in the same plane. 

After talking to Zoe, who wasn’t happy to find her shop destroyed and had come looking for Douxie, she was interested enough to help him out in such an experiment. Strickler had been thinking about restarting the Janus Order but now to give Changelings a chance to meet others like themselves and actually not have to be under anyone’s command. If Krel and Zoe could pull this off, they would have something to offer the changelings, after they had earned it by proving they wouldn’t be going around making bad things. 

After the party was over, everyone went about their different ways, and Krel was even roped into gong with Nana and Toby. She refused to leave Varvatos’ charge all alone, prince or no, he wasn’t going to be left to fend for himself. Toby would have space since Blinky and Aarrrgh would be leaving to help out the Trolls still in New Jersey. Claire early in the morning after having her strength back managed to send them off and while Jim was afraid that he would be pushed aside, the trolls were actually very happy. They had gotten to see their fleshbag trollhunter grow into a capable warrior before he had becoe half-troll, and they had honestly missed him. after explaining everything, Blinky and Aarrrgh remained while the humans got to go and rest back with their families.

With some time, Krel and Zoe managed to make an amulet for changelings that would let them change between their two forms, hidden in a Janus Order Emblem, each face triggering one form or the other. Strickler and NotEnrique were their guineapigs and soon after Nomura too. They let other changelings know and offer them this chance, if they came back and did some helping around town, still very much destroyed by three different end of the world battles. Changelings had a bond with their human familiars, enough that the Nuñez’ started to trust NotEnrique around Human Enrique, and slowly adopting him as well. This change led Jim, Toby and Claire to try and get other Changelings to get close to their human counterparts, further making many of them want to change sides and earn their amulets (they were allowed to keep them for a couple of hours until they ran out and had to be returned, a failsafe Krel had installed to make sure none ran off or try to copy them). Even if they had been staying afloat with taking care of around 30 babies, both Barbara and Strickler knew they wouldn’t be able to take care of all of them. So, they started seeing if couples around town would adopt the babies + a probable changeling that wouldn’t stray too far from them. Many LGBT+ couples, not being able to get children via the government, were happy and welcomed their new children and changeling combo.

Jim, after a week of pretending that everything was fine, finally ran away and ended up at Trollmarket. Toby was the one who found him first, since Claire had been otherwise busy on the other side of the world helping Douxie escape the Arcane Order with Nari. The two best friends could finally talk and let out everything they had been keeping silent for so long, and made up before they were attacked by zombified Gumm Gumms, Toby had forgotten to mention them and they weren’t very fast. Jim knew that the new Heartstone in New Jersey wasn’t big enough for all of the trolls, and that leaving this Heartstone like this wouldn’t be beneficial if any zombies got out. Toby then wished that they could give it back life or at least keep it running like Merlin had done with Camelot, powered by magic and frozen in time. Jim got an idea and told Toby he was a genius. On their way back up, they got excited bc this might end up solving all of their problems.

Talking with Zoe, Krel, Douxie, Claire, Nari and Archie, even getting some input from Charlie, Archie’s dad, they managed to figure out that Nari could use the spark of life within the NJ Heartstone for Arcadia’s own, which still had enough magic to make zombie trolls, she had after all given Morgana life as per Claire’s memories. With the Heartstone back to life and with its ancient magic they would then use it to power a city wide protection that would keep the Arcane Order and anyone with evil intentions out of Arcadia. The Heartstone would then become what the Heart of Avalon had been for Camelot.  

Douxie had just managed to escape the Arcane Order in the 3 weeks they had been out, and hoped this would be enough to keep Nari safe. She was send to Akaridion 5 under the protection of Aja, who was more than happy to keep a refugee of Earth safe as she had been once. Work was hard but it payed off. Arcadia’s Heartstone was given life once more and they were able to return all Trolls and then some back home. With many changelings now residing there and the Janus Order helping them be better, Trolls and Changelings started to build their relationship once more, and soon the word ‘inpure’ was banned from being used against anyone. 

Area 49B kept Arcadia safe from outside government intrusion, and their program, helped by Sergeant Costas and Stuart to better a relationship between Extraterrestrials and Humans. Their program worked so well, that soon Arcadia had an out of world tourist inflow that came to see how Humans, Trolls, Changelings, Wizards and Aliens lived together in harmony. Trollmarket was now always open for anyone to come and go, Krel even being able to make a similar amulet for trolls to use like the changelings, though only Blinky (having been human once before) and Aarrrgh took them, no one else was interested in looking human. 

After Arcadia was safe for Nari, Zoe and other magic users asked Douxie to teach them be stronger (Claire still took lessons from him) and soon enough the first ever School of Magic was open. Not everyone wanted to have a staff and be powerful enough to bend time itself, but many wanted to learn more from someone who knew his way around ancient tomes and could read the few surviving books from Merlin’s time. With Charlie around, they also got to learn Ancient Dragon and even Douxie could get better and stronger each day. 

Jim took six months to just adjust after the year he had had. He still was helping anywhere he could, be it among the Trolls and Changelings, or when the gnomes got out of control that one time, even by making sure that everyone was eating properly bc no one seemed to be able to have time to eat among their busy schedule. Everyone in town knew that Jim was the best chef they had, and multiple people ended up encouraging him to consider it a career choice. However, Jim still had one thing in mind, something that bothered him. And after six months, he finally went back to Excalibur. Many others had tried to take it out, but the sword had moved for no one else. He however was able to take it easily, and knew that his friends and family had been right all along. He just needed to be reminded that human or troll, he would always be Jim, and thus worthy of carrying the sword. On his way back in town, everyone was not surprised and even cheered for him.

Nari had a great new life, she was always with someone, be it the Wizards or the Trolls, she could be at peace knowing that balance could be possible among magical creatures and human beings. The Guardians of Arcadia, even those out of the planet, grew everyday, trained hard and continued to be prepared. No one was foolish to believe the Arcane Order would leave them alone for long. And then, they revealed their weapon: the Titans.

[paradise-creator]

Than,, thank you?? So much for the match up?? It warms my heart bby ;-;

Anyhow, here’s my description!!

She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin

Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.

However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know.

Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time

Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems. I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person

Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)

Other fun facts!!

- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.

- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.

- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else

- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs

- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(

Lol it’s very long I Apologize

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Dreamscape

- Study date

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Kuroo Tetsuro, The captain of Nekoma

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Sun drops

The reasons why I paired you

-Honestly it took me a while to think on who you would match with (You just remind me so much if my best friend that I ship with Yams-)

- I had Sugawara or Kunumi in mind but I decided that Kuroo would be a perfect match! (THAT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE THO)

- Kuroo is a very smart man and he's also very observant.

- So you might lack in the expressing emotions, Kuro's got you (He'll buy those flip plishies to know your mood or smth like that)

- And though Kuroo is the outgoing type, he will definitely respect your boundaries

- I mean Kenma is a major introvert so Kuroo will know what to do

- Not only that! Kuroo has this sense of protectiveness and motherly vibes (Canon Kuroo that is-). So he will definitely take care of you

- He has his iconic hyena laugh, Meme exchange is a must! And you both would often have laughing fits.

- Did I mention that he'll take care of you?

- He absolutely and I mean absolutely adores your passion for music like yes

-He loves your style and the two of you would often have matching couple outfits.

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Dreamscape

(A surprise drabble!)

"Out of everyone, YOU GOT A GIRL FIRST?!?" Yaku yelled as his eye twitched. "Got that right, Yakkun," Kuroo then said with a smirk. "And you are still as single as ever, docosahexaenoic acid. Still chasing after the same girl, huh?" He added as he patted the shorter male's shoulders. "And so what?!?" Yaku yelled back. "And the Demon-senpai strikes again," Kuroo stated as he backed away. "Kuroo-senpai! Can you tell us about her?" Lev asked enthusiastically. "You seem enthusiastic," Kenma said. Then Lev restarted back and it became a one sided argument.

Soon enough, the drama died down and Kuroo started to talk about his one and only. "She's amazing~" He started. "She's a bit odd but I love her nonetheless. She kinda reminds me of Kenma and Bokuto in a way. She loves music and would often send me some songs to listen," And that was the start of a half hour rant of his girlfriend. Right then and there, Lev regretted his decision.

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Study date

Kuroo and his Oxytocin (lover), were having a small study date. They were in Kuroo's house and were enjoying their little date time before they study. The Mario team song was playing as the two were racing. "YES! I'M WINNING!" His lover yelled as she was in front of him. "Not for long~" Kuroo stated as his focused was on the screen. As time passes and the gap widens, Kuroo turned to his plan B. He then looked at his Oxytocin and kissed her out of nowhere. The girl immediately responded to the kiss and stopped pressing the buttons. Soon enough, Kuroo passed the girl with ease and won. His lover looked at him with a betrayed look and then scowled. "You cheat!" Hse said as she pointed a finger to him.

"C'mon my Oxytocin~ I didn't cheat in Mario carts!" Kuroo declared as he gazed at his lover. "Didn't cheat?!? Didn't cheat?!? YOU KISSED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME!" She yelled as she hit his shoulders gently. "And? We didn't lay any ground rules so what's the point?" Kuroo then stated. The girl huffed and played the controller down. "Should we start studying?" She asked as she picked up a book. The book was a chemistry book taht wasn't even for their curriculum. It was just an extra book to fulfill Kuroo's love for chemistry. She placed it down and picked up her book instead. "We still have a bit of time," Kuroo started as he patted on his bed. He then stood up and gazed at the book she took. And English book to be exact, he took the book and placed it down. "Let's cuddle for a while," He added as he pulled you to his bed and cuddled you.

"And I wonder if your team mates know how much of a cuddle monster you are?" She said as she chuckled. Kuroo placed his arms around her body and nuzzled his head on her hair. "Yes, of course. I won't shut up about you," he added as he pulled you closer. "So are we studying or not?" She then said as she kissed his cheek.

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Author's note

Thanks for complying with my request! I hope it wasn't much of a bother. 👉👈

I had fun writing this! I hope you enjoy this one~