#had to reach back into my childhood for these OOF

[aisiedaisie]

hi <3 this is super self-indulgent haha…but would you be willing to write a poly!wolfstar with a reader who still has their like raggedy lovey stuffed animal from when they were a baby that maybe they were hiding from the boys and how they react to finding out? xx

Hello hello~! This is absolutely adorable! I’m definitely guilty of holding onto childhood plushies too, so this is a bit self-indulgent for me as well. I really hope you enjoy!!! 

Poly!Wolfstar x Fem!Reader WC: 1.1k

You flop down onto the fresh, unfamiliar bed, surrounded by boxes and bags, the remnants of your old flat strewn across the floor. Today was all about hauling practically everything from your last place into your boyfriend's house—your new home.

You’re grateful for this room of your own. It’s small, but that was your one non-negotiable condition. You love them both fiercely, but there’s something about having a sanctuary to retreat to, a space that’s just yours.

Their bed may be huge, but you know yourself: the thought of sharing it every night feels a bit too close for comfort, especially with everyone's mismatched schedules.

Plus, you’ve learned the hard way about Sirius’s habit of kicking in his sleep. He’d boot you clear off the bed at four in the morning if you gave him the chance. And Remus? He’s a snuggler—a heavy, unyielding snuggler. When he wraps an arm around you, it’s like being pinned by a warm, affectionate weight. Charming, absolutely, but not so convenient when you really have to pee in the morning.

So here you are, content but completely drained, with the three of you spending most of the day heaving boxes into the car and scrubbing down your old flat.

“Oh, it feels good to just lie down,” you groan, the ache of a long day catching up with you.

“I told you to wear comfortable shoes, dove,” Remus says softly, leaning against the doorframe and watching you with a fond smile.

You turn your head, flashing him a tired grin. “In my defense, I thought these were comfortable.”

“And is our princess now resting in her royal quarters?” Sirius quips, appearing just behind Remus, fresh from hauling a load of flattened boxes down to the bin.

“Absolutely,” you tease, shaking your head at his playful tone. “Thanks for helping me out. I’m sorry Marls had to back out last minute.” You sigh, thinking of how your best friend had called that morning with the news: her girlfriend had been in a minor accident at work and had to be rushed to the hospital. You could hardly blame her for canceling; if either of your boys were in the hospital, you’d drop everything to be there, too.

“Anytime, darling,” Sirius murmurs as he strolls into the room. With a dramatic flop, he lands on his back on the far side of the bed, letting out a soft “oof.” It’s an endearing sound that makes you laugh, even as you feel the day’s exhaustion settling in.

“Well?” You turn to Remus, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Planning to join us?” The question comes out with a flirtatious smile, hinting at just how much you’d love him to join you and Sirius.

Remus rolls his eyes, but there’s a softness there, too, as he lets out a gentle sigh. Shaking his head with a small, amused smile, he pads over to the foot of the bed and settles down, reaching for both of you. His hands find their way into your hair and Sirius’s, brushing through in a familiar, calming rhythm, almost like he’s petting two contented cats.

Sirius stretches his arms, accidentally knocking one of the many decorative pillows off the bed. With a groan, he slides down to his knees to retrieve it, grabbing the plush white pillow and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed. But as he does, something else catches his eye—a faded mint-green fabric peeking out from an open duffel bag beside the bed.

“Siri?” Remus calls out, noticing that Sirius hasn’t returned to join them.

Curious, you sit up, wondering why he’s so distracted. Army-crawling to the edge of the bed, you spot his gaze fixed on the bag, and your heart skips a beat as you realize what he’s staring at.

Panicking, you scramble off the bed and slide down beside him, nearly losing your balance in the rush. Remus’s concerned voice cuts in as he leans over, “Dove, you alright?” But you’re already reaching for the item that has Sirius’s full attention, fumbling slightly in an attempt to tuck it out of sight.

Sirius’s brows lift with curiosity. “What are you hiding?” he asks, a mischievous grin playing on his lips as he tries to gently wrestle the object from you.

“Nothing!” you whine, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

Remus raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “That doesn’t look like ‘nothing,’” he says with a smirk. “Especially if you’re going to all this trouble to hide it.”

You squeal, feeling a mix of embarrassment and nervousness as you pull the plush tightly to your chest.

Sirius’s hands stop their playful struggle, but he keeps them on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he softens his tone. “Baby?”

You groan, sitting up and holding the well-loved, slightly worn mint-colored bunny in your arms. The little plush flops over as you look down at it, feeling a bit sheepish.

"My mom got her for me when I was a baby," you explain, your voice quiet but steady. "I know it's childish to still sleep with plushies at my age, but... she's just always been there for me. Through everything—moving around, tough nights, even all the times I was scared or stressed. It’s like… having a little piece of home with me."

Sirius's expression softens, a warm smile tugging at his lips. "That’s not childish at all, Love," he says, rubbing a gentle hand over your back. "Everyone needs something that makes them feel safe."

Remus nods in agreement, reaching out to touch the bunny's worn little ear. "And besides," he says with a grin, "if anyone gives you trouble about it, just remember who they’re talking to. You’ve got two knights here who’d defend a bunny’s honor, no questions asked."

You laugh, feeling a rush of relief. Hugging the bunny a bit tighter, you feel their arms wrap around you, holding you just as close.

"I love you both so much—" your voice comes out soft, but the warmth in it is unmistakable. You don’t even get a chance to finish before Sirius practically pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms tighter around you with a grin that practically lights up the room.

"Good," he says, squeezing you reassuringly. "Because we're not going anywhere."

Remus leans in on your other side, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with that gentle smile of his. "We love you too," he murmurs. "And that bunny? She’s part of the family now."

You can’t help but laugh, your heart feeling lighter than it has in ages as you sit there, held in the arms of the two people who mean everything to you, with your cherished bunny nestled close. In that moment, you know for certain that home isn’t just a place—it’s right here, with them.

[qrowsofafeather]

Tagged by @fickleminder

Rules: make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same, see which character is everyone’s favorite.

tagging: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @wolvesinstarryskies, @oheyfox, @obae-me, @devildomditzy, and anyone who's interested

Edit: I probably should have thrown in Sung Jinwoo or Woo Jinchul but those two are super recent oh well

[loveinhawkins]

The RV careens out of the trailer park and hits the open road with what pretty much amounts to ‘all speed, no grace.’ The turn Steve makes is, quite frankly, abysmal; he’s sure that if his driving instructor could see him now, the poor man would be weeping in distress.

Yet his passengers erupt into cheers as they pass the Leaving Hawkins sign, like he’s pulled some kind of James Bond move.

And, for all his insistence on being the absolute antithesis to so-called ‘jock culture’, Eddie rushes over to the driver’s seat, starts squeezing Steve’s shoulder with decidedly jock-like exuberance.

“Holy shit, holy shit, that was so fucking cool, Harrington.”

Oh, he’s definitely broken through the depression stage of the ‘finding out there’s an alternate dimension in Hawkins’ journey—landing firmly in the fuck it, might as well have some fun stage.

Steve could tell they’d reached that point even before the goddamn ‘big boy’ comment, when Eddie had taken one look at the Michael Myers mask, looked Max dead in the eye and said, “This is gonna be. So fuckin’ stupid. Let’s do it.”

Steve goes through a few seconds more of having his shoulder pummelled before saying, “Dude, you’re doing a shitty job at being undercover, stay down.”

“Like, do you have any idea,” Eddie says breathily, as if Steve hasn’t spoken, “just how perfect that was? That was, God, a childhood dream fully—”

“You dreamed of stealing an RV?” Steve says dubiously.

“Not in such crude literal terms, no. C’mon, Harrington, you must’ve had an imagination once—”

“Hey!”

“—didn’t you ever dream of, like, daring escapes, pulling the sword outta the stone, all that shit?”

Steve thinks about it. “I mean,” he says, “when I was a kid, I just kinda… climbed trees and stuff.”

Eddie sighs as if he can’t decide whether Steve’s done something especially annoying or endearing. “Of course you did.”

They reach a stop sign and Eddie finally flops into the passenger seat, facing Steve like he’s sitting side saddle on a horse.

“So,” Steve says, “I take a right after this, yeah?”

“Mm-hmm, well remembered, Mr Getaway Driver.”

Steve scoffs, glances over—finds Eddie framing him with his index finger and thumb, like a director trying to capture the perfect shot.

“James Dean,” Eddie says authoritatively, dropping his hands.

“What?”

“Was tryin’ to figure it out, your whole look, you know? Very Rebel Without a Cause.”

“Okay,” Steve says, “but I have a cause, we all do.”

Eddie just blinks at him, and Steve chuckles.

“You, idiot.”

“Oh.”

Steve has a moment to appreciate the way Eddie’s eyes go all soft and maybe just a little shiny, before he has to set off again. He takes the right turning.

“We should watch it,” Eddie says eventually. “Hell, I’ll take any movie. Just gimme, like, two hours of not having to think.”

“Tell me about it.”

Steve’s sure he’ll never complain about double VHS tapes ever again. Then a thought occurs to him.

“Shit.” He calls to the back. “Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“Y’know when we left Family Video, did we even lock up?”

“Yes,” Robin says followed immediately by, “No?”

Steve snorts. “God, we’re so fired.”

He hears Robin making her way up to the front, then Eddie saying, “Oof, Buckley, that was right in the ribs.”

“Why the sudden concern about our jobs, dingus?”

“I’m not concerned, I just got reminded of—Eddie was mentioning—”

“—Rebel Without a Cause,” Eddie finishes.

“Oh, Steve, I know you’ve seen it, I put it on last week!”

“Uh, maybe I was preoccupied doing, I dunno, my job.”

“It’s the one with—”

“James Dean,” Eddie cuts in.

“Yeah, I gathered, thanks,” Steve says sarcastically, but he can’t help smiling as he does so.

“—and it’s, you know,” Robin goes on, “troubled kid moves to a new town, and—”

“Aw,” Steve says, “you think I’m troubled, Munson?”

“It’s all in the eyes, Harrington. Such depths.”

“Right?” Robin says, and she’s laughing, tongue-in-cheek, “I’ve always said so.”

“You ever considered wearing a leather jacket?”

Steve laughs, too. “Tell ya what, Eddie, why don’t I just wear all your clothes?”

“Well, we know denim suits you.”

“If only you saw his last car-stealing outfit, Eddie.”

Steve sighs. “Robin, shut it.”

“Excuse me,” Eddie says, “d’you have form, Harrington? Grand theft auto form?”

“Literally once. Crazy circumstances.” Rest in peace, Todfather. “It was a Cadillac.”

“A Cadillac.” Eddie sighs dreamily. “Do you have any photos?”

“Uh, no, I was kinda busy.”

“I shall mourn the loss.”

“Take the next left here,” Nancy calls, which Steve is grateful for—the directions had gone completely out of his head.

“Wheeler, come up to the front,” Eddie says, “it’s a party.”

She must do, because her voice sounds much closer when she says, “Shit, I think I forgot to lock up, too.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve says, “no-one’s gonna ransack The Weekly Streak.”

Another stop sign—Steve looks over, smirks at how Eddie has ended up squished between Nancy and Robin, all of them sharing the one seat.

“They better not.” To Eddie, Nancy adds, “I think I gave your uncle the impression that I’m doing a big piece on you. Like, testimonials for an innocent man, stuff like that.”

For a flicker of a second, Eddie looks nauseated at the thought—Steve spots the shift, the decision to make a joke about it.

“Well, Wheeler, you better make me sound good.”

“Oh, I was going more for journalistic integrity.”

“Hey.”

Steve hears a couple of thumps behind him; without even glancing in the mirror, he says, “Sit your asses down, shitheads, don’t make me turn this thing around.”

“Don’t make me turn this thing around!” Lucas parrots.

Max scoffs playfully: “Nineteen going on forty.”

“Eddie was standing before!” Erica points out.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, Eddie’s a law unto himself. Look, just sit down and, like, make a list or something, I’ll stop off for food after we’ve—”

Dustin laughs. “You really are forty.”

“Uh-huh, one more wisecrack and you’re not getting any chocolate pudding.”

Steve’s hamming it up, he knows he is—smiles to himself as he hears a quartet of giggles.

“Can you believe they used to think I was cool?” he says.

“I dunno, Harrington,” Eddie says warmly, “at least one of them doth protest too much.”

Nancy stands in search of a pen, Robin following, insisting to Dustin that, “We’re getting one of those camp stoves, if I don’t eat something hot soon, I’m gonna die.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. Maybe it’s because they’ll soon be arriving at The War Zone; his levity slips just a little when he says, “It’s probably, like, a proximity thing. Henderson’ll have a scientific term for it.”

Eddie chuckles. “What, the Steve Harrington effect?”

Steve shrugs. “You get too close, the shine wears off eventually.”

He doesn’t realise until he’s said it that the joking, perhaps, has stopped somewhere along the way.

“Huh,” Eddie says. “I’m no scientist, but that doesn’t sound like the Steve Harrington effect to me.”

“No?” Steve says.

He can see the parking lot in the distance, and he gestures for Eddie to duck.

“Nope,” Eddie says. Steve can hear him moving, crouching to hide behind the driver’s seat.

He parks and everyone’s abruptly all business, deciding who’s staying in the RV, who’s going into The War Zone.

Steve hates it, has a sudden intense longing to keep talking about movies, to just be stupid.

And maybe Eddie can tell, because just before Steve heads out, he catches his eye, smiles.

“Hey, don’t worry, Harrington,” he says with a tiny, fleeting wink. “You’re still my leading man.”

[midnight-pluto]

TAG — diluc r.

TROPES: childhood best friends, fluff, slight angst at the end

UNIVERSE: canon-ish

PAIRING(S): diluc x gn!reader

WARNING(S): mentions of alcohol

A/N: shoutout to the anon who helped give me the inspo for this <3

AS LOYAL PATRONS of The Angel's Share, your parents were frequent attenders of all of Dawn Winery’s events - wine tasting, birthdays, or just simple celebrations they were there.

However at your age, you couldn’t drink more than half of the menu and didn’t want to converse with drunken adults. So you were forced to sit inside under the supervision of the maids.

Mindlessly sipping on your juice while looking at the crossword puzzle given to you by the maids as your source of entertainment, you try your best to block out the loud talk outside.

What caught your eye though was a boy quickly going down the stairs, his socks sliding against the wooden floor and making his way over to the woman who was watching over you.

Gently tugging on her skirt to gain her attention, he speaks to her but softly enough for the laughter outside to block it from reaching your ears.

‘Red hair… is that Crepus’ son?’

Smiling softly at the boy, she points over to you leading to two pairs of eyes looking in your direction; straightening up under their gaze, you look to your left and right and point to yourself.

She simply chuckles and nods, giving the boy a soft push in your direction to which he followed and sat next to you on the sofa.

“Hi, what’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/N,” you reply simply, “What’s yours?”

“Diluc.”

“Cool,” you nod, not knowing what else to say.

“Cool,” he replied, also not knowing what else to say.

After a minute of silence you ask, “What do you think they’re talking about out there?”

“Who?

“The adults,” you remark blandly, “Bet it’s about wine.”

“It is a wine tasting event,” he responds, “My dad’s made another drink.”

There was a long silence for a moment. That was until Diluc had invited you to play tag outside since he was getting bored sitting around the house.

Accepting his invitation, he grabbed your hand and walked out the front door and into the vineyard where that game would begin.

“Why don’t we play hide-and-go-tag? I don’t like running a lot,” you offer, not the most thrilled at the thought of running in your nice clothes and then potentially getting stained.

“Mm… alright,” he agreed, and began counting.

“…9…10! Ready or not, here I come!” he announced, softly walking on the grass below his boots, and searching in between the lines vineyards for any sign of you.

After a few minutes of searching in between the vineyards he decides to search the crates next to the sign displaying the fact that there was currently an event taking place.

As he approached the crates he saw your figure dash out of the opening between the sign and the crates the other way yelling:

“You’ll never catch me alive!”

Causing the adults in the area to pause and observe what was occurring. Seeing your silhouette outlined by the lanterns glow run past them, and immediately seeing another - catching a glimpse of red hair - sprint after you, automatically understanding the situation.

“Careful! Make sure to not trip - it’s so dark right now,” a voice called out to the both of you.

“We know!” Diluc shouted back, steadily gaining on you.

Hearing his voice so close to you causes your adrenaline to spike and run faster than before, wind blowing against your face and in your ears.

Making a sharp turn you run towards the nearby lake, careful of your footing as to not fall flat on your face and to get dirty. You eventually get near the water and inhale sharp breaths once you get there.

You eventually hear another tired voice pant out, “Tag.”

Diluc was breathing harder than you, weakly touching your shoulder as to make sure you knew you were tagged and now it.

Your legs were to tired to hold you up and you sat on the sand, breathing slowing down. Diluc soon followed with an ‘oof.’

“We should just stay here,” you breathe out.

“Sounds good,” he sighs.

KNOCKING ON THE door of Dawn Winery as politely as you could, you immediately started speaking the moment the door was answered.

“Hello mr. Crepus, I would like to know where my favorite one of your sons are.”

“Hey! That is so rude,” Kaeya spoke up, pouting by the stairs.

“He’s upstairs in his room,” the older man replied, moving to let you in.

“Don’t worry Kaeya ‘cause Diluc’s about to get yelled at,” you say while speeding up the stairs.

Kaeya took a long look at his adoptive father, “Are you really just going to let them do that?”

“Eh, Diluc needs these kinds of things at his age.”

Slamming his door open with a loud, “Diluc!” caused the boy to jump and sit up in his bed and snapping his book shut.

“Diluc,” you stared at the boy in front of you dead in the eyes, as you silently shut his door - a stark contrast as to how you entered his room, “Why didn’t you tell me you got accepted as a knight of Favonius?”

“I- see, you were really busy with your studies and I didn’t want to bother you-“

“I don’t care about my studies!” you flopped onto his bed, “Well, not as much as you getting accepted into the knights, but still!

“We’re only ten, and here you are getting accepted into the knights! You should’ve told me,” you say a lot more calmer now, sitting on the edge of his bed as he shuffles to sit next to you.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he relents, “I promise you’ll be one of the first ones to know when something like this happens again.”

“Pinky,” you tell jokingly, holding yours out.

“Fine,” he huffs out, wrapping his pinky with yours.

“Your it now,” you say with a smug expression on your face.

“Oh my-“ he groans, taking his pinky away from you a taking back his book to read.

The game of tag has been going on for years now, non-stop with random time intervals and rules now added but it’s still a fun nostalgia piece to do.

“What’re you even reading this time around,” you ask, looking at the faint words of the book cover. “The Legend of Vennessa,” you read aloud, “Again?”

“Why not?”

“Fair point I guess, but still. You’ve read that like, what? Five times already?”

“It’s a good book!”

“Whatever,” you sigh.

“Don’t act like you haven’t read a book five times before,” Diluc points out, “Hex and Hound? That has like eleven volumes. How do you even have the patience?”

“No, I can’t get my hands on the last two volumes. It’s sold in Inazuma, I can’t even borrow it from the library like the rest of them,” you huff out.

“That’s tough man,” he remarks.

“It really is. It was left on a cliffhanger too!” you groan.

“What’s a cliffhanger again? I forgot,” Diluc asked, sweat dropping at the look you gave him, “What? I don’t read that often nowadays.”

“You’re left hanging. Dangling on a cliff. With no one to save you.”

“…do you think that’d be something that would happen to me if I’m on duty as a knight?”

“Diluc!”

"SO, CALVARY CAPTAIN now huh?" you teased, leaning your back against Diluc's shoulder.

You were under the tree under Windrise, and just as he had promise four years ago, you were one of the first to know about his promotion. Resting against the bark you watch as he methodically brushes the horses light brown coat.

"I suppose," he chuckles.

"Making history already; youngest calvary captain ever in the Knights of Favonius, heir to Mondstadt's wine industry, and is a vision holder! How does it feel?" you asks playfully, holding a windwheel aster you plucked from the ground and putting it near his face so he could talk into it.

"It really isn't that much-"

"Ah, oh so modest as ever" you laugh softly at his face because of your interruption. Blowing air into the red flower makes its petals spin slowly, "So, is the official Calvary Captain going to show me how to ride a horse or what?"

"So that's why you brought me here." Diluc nods in understanding with an amused look on his face, "Well, you better get up if that's what's going to happen."

"Wait I was just joking-" you couldn't finish your sentence until you were pulled up by him, clutching on the windwheel aster tighter as to not drop it.

Thankfully the horse Diluc had ridden to arrive at

Windrise was laying down so there wasn't that much of a difficulty.

Just as you were adjusting to your new seating arrangement the horse suddenly stood up, making you fall forward only to have your face meet with Diluc's back and grabbing onto the edges of the saddle for stability.

Straightening up, you see your friends face looking at you with a small smile and gently taking your hands off the saddle to place around his waist.

"So you won't fall," he explains, glancing at your widened eyes.

Feeling your heart beat faster you look towards your left at the shallow river created by the waterfall as a way to not gawk at his sheer amount of nonchalance at pulling you closer.

Shifting forward, your press your front against his back as the horse begins to trot forward.

Unfortunately, Diluc wasn't one to go slowly. He placed more force upon the saddle's stirrup causing the horse's light trot to a fast gallop.

At the sudden change of speed you let out a small squeak, hurrying your face into Diluc's back and tightening your grip against his waist and the flower you still held.

Feeling your added pressure against his body, Diluc places a soothing hand against yours wrapped around his waist and rubs his thumb against the back of your hand as an attempt to calm you.

"I suppose that this counts as tag, huh?" he asked playfully, continuing to hold your hand in his.

"Yeah! Sure," you reply quickly, trying to get over the fact that you might've developed a crush on your best friend.

EVER SINCE DILUC’s eighteenth birthday, things have never been the same.

The people of Mondstadt have fallen silent, Kaeya’s usual charming nature turned off, and Diluc hasn’t been seen since.

As you were standing by his fathers grave, placing flowers next to it footsteps were heard approaching you. Looking over your shoulder, you catch a glimpse of a familiar eyepatch and blue hair.

“Hey Kaeya,” you say, eyes still fixated on the grave in front of you.

“Diluc’s gone,” he spoke, voice trembling.

“What?” your voice was low, not believing your own ears.

“Diluc has left Mondstadt. He left Adeline in charge of the manor,” he explains, voice void of any emotion.

“Do you know where he went?”

“We… we ended things on bad terms,” Kaeya says as if he were holding back tears.

Hearing his trembling voice, you decide not to push any further. “I see.”

“Thank you, Kaeya, for letting me know,” you turn towards him with a somber smile and walking past him.

“Where are you going?” Kaeya called out to you.

“Dawn Winery. Adeline must know something about Diluc’s disappearance,” you say not stopping your footsteps, “At the very least Diluc must’ve left a not or, something.”

“As stubborn as ever,” Kaeya dryly chuckles.

You were going to find Diluc, that was a fact. In your game of tag you were the last one to be proclaimed ‘it.’ You refused to lose to him, you couldn’t stand it.

You refused to lose him.

A/N: goddam this was a long ass fic ; part 2 anyone?

[porcelainseashore]

Teenage Headache Dreams (3)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: More fluff, might be cringe, who knows? Leon’s facade is starting to slip up, but I think he rolled a natural 20 at the end. There’s also a tinge of childhood trauma and hurt/comfort. I hope I did it justice somehow and that you like it.

AO3 Link

Chapter 3: Before You Slip Away

Just as summer and fall came and went, your school days merged seamlessly into one another, passing by like a blur. You kept your part of the deal and spent what free time you had with Leon. Likewise, he fulfilled his end of the bargain by attending your informal study sessions, which pulled both of your Grade Point Averages up, much to your relief.

In the meantime, Leon had competed in the track and field competition against other high schools in the surrounding Midwest region, coming out top overall in the short sprint category. You had never cheered so hard from the sidelines in your life. To you, it was a crime that cheerleaders mostly focused on football and basketball games, ignoring the other sporting events. 

Flashing his winning smile with a shiny medal raised in his hand, the cameras adored him. Throngs of his teammates came over to celebrate with him and his coach patted him on the back, proudly exclaiming, “That’s my boy!” 

Despite all of the commotion, Leon kept an eye out on the spectator stand, scanning it from one end to the other. As soon as his eyes met yours, he leaped off the podium and sprung towards the bleachers, as if another race had started. You scurried towards him, weaving in and out of the crowd. Once both of you were in closer contact, he reached out and pulled you in, lifting you off the ground as you felt the air knock out of your lungs.

“Oof, Leon, put me down!” You laughed hoarsely, as he complied and your feet landed softly on the ground again. He was perspiring profusely and his damp hair clung to the sides of his forehead in a mess. Some of his sweat had rubbed off onto your clothes, but you didn’t care. “You were amazing!”

“As always,” came the shameless reply. His hands traveled to your shoulders, gripping them keenly, as he confessed in exhilaration, “I’m really happy you made it out here!”

“You think I’d miss this for anything else?” You cried out amongst the usual racket that followed the end of a sports meet. Sure, it was a good few hours’ drive from your hometown, but it was more than worth it.

He met your rhetorical question with a pearly white smile, his eyes sparkling as he hugged you again. 

“Wanna get some tacos? My treat,” you offered. You knew about Leon’s whims and fancies when it came to food. Tacos were his latest obsession, so you dangled it like a carrot before him.

He was tempted, but also embarrassed that you were the one taking him to dinner. Was that a date? Shouldn’t he have made the first move? He shrugged off those thoughts, convincing himself that you didn’t mean anything by it.

“Hellooooo…? Earth to Leon?” you waved your hand in front of his face, seeing as he was lost in daydream land again.

“Uh-” He blinked, shaking his head and composing himself. “Nah, I can’t make you pay for that,” he argued.

You ignored what he said as you started jogging towards your car, turning back briefly to him, yelling, “Last one to get in is a loser!”

“Hey, that’s cheating!”

━━━━━━━━━━━

Although you didn’t think it was necessary for Leon, or anyone else for that matter, to catch your dance showcase, he never gave up pestering you about it. Your parents weren’t entirely fond of you pursuing a further education in the arts, preferring that you would pick up something “useful” instead. So you learnt to avoid the topic and keep these interests to yourself, even though you knew both sides were playing a cat and mouse game, which would end up in disappointment and begrudging acceptance anyway. You viewed Leon’s presence as an added pressure to perform well in front of a person you knew in the audience, but he only saw it as being supportive towards his friend. In the end, you relented, knowing there was no way of changing this stubborn boy’s mind.

The days leading up to the showcase had you throwing yourself onto your bed in a heap of exhaustion and fatigue every night. You hardly had any time to spare, except eat, sleep, dance and repeat. Occasionally, you had to skip school with permission, to attend the rehearsals. Thankfully, Leon being the good friend he was, dropped off whatever class notes and homework assignments there were to your place. He also had the tendency to add motivational “You can do it!” sort of quotes in marker pen on sticky notes, which he pasted within the pages. He claimed that doing so helped him get through more difficult times. You found them cheesy, but you couldn’t deny that they made you smile each time you opened a page and found one there, just like an easter egg.

On the day of the performance itself, your nerves were a wreck. You had done this countless times, but nothing could cure the intense stage fright you usually suffer from just before the show curtains are drawn. Your co-dancers were busying themselves in the dressing room, applying last minute touch-ups to their makeup and costumes, or stretching their limbs to keep warm. Meanwhile, you puked out nothing but air and water for the umpteenth time in the adjacent bathroom.

There was a gentle knock on the toilet stall. “Is everything alright?”

Quickly flushing the toilet and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you opened the door cautiously, as you peered out at a bespectacled lady in an all black outfit and walkie-talkie attached at her hip. It was one of the crew members. “Yeah, um, I’m done here.”

“Great,” she heaved a sigh of relief. “It’s five minutes to standby. We need to get you to the stage wings pronto.” You nodded and followed her immediately, as she darted out of the lavatory. 

On the way, she stopped abruptly, as if she remembered something. She pulled out a folded note and handed it over to you. “Oh, I almost forgot. Your… boyfriend? He was very insistent,” she shook her head and huffed wearily.

Boyfriend?

As you peeled it open, you were greeted by the same handwriting in marker pen you had grown accustomed to over the past few weeks: 

YOU GOT THIS :)

A wide smile spread across your face, as a wave of renewed energy coursed through your veins. How this silly boy could brighten up your day with random scribblings on loose bits of paper confounded you. Passing it back to the crew member for safekeeping, you strode onwards purposefully, mumbling to yourself the only words you knew at that moment, “I got this.”

Once the performance started, you eased in, forgetting the outside world as you crawled, flew and spiraled through the dark room like an uninhibited creature. Illuminated only by the intense beam of spotlight, you glided across the floor, synching your breath together with that of the other co-dancers.

Time always passed so strangely during your dance pieces. Just as soon as it began, it ended, and you panted heavily as the lights came back on to a roaring sound of applause. You and the rest of the dancers walked up hand-in-hand to the stage front for a deep bow. With the harsh light in your face, you couldn’t see anyone in the crowd, but then you heard the distinct sound of your name being called, followed by a shrill whistle. Leon. 

You exchanged looks with your co-dancers and laughed. “Someone’s got a fan,” one of them whispered. You continued clapping with the rest and gestured towards the sound and light technicians in gratitude, before heading backstage, hugging each other in relief and celebration.

After packing up and saying your last goodbyes to your fellow performers, you threw on a coat over your attire as you headed out to the foyer. Leon was waiting patiently against a pillar, watching the crowd disperse out of the theater. You observed that he seemed a little out of his element in this place, with the way he was fiddling with the program brochure and his clothes. The outfit he had picked out for the evening had caught you by surprise. You’d never seen him in something so formal before. His navy blue blazer and matching colored trousers fitted perfectly against his form. He wore a white collared shirt underneath, with the top unbuttoned, but the bottom tucked into his pants neatly, and donned a rather smart pair of chestnut brown leather shoes. He looked almost… dashing. You mentally lectured yourself to shut down that thought immediately.

“Hey,” you called out meekly as you approached.

He turned around, flipping his bangs out of his eyes as he spotted you. “Hi.” You detected a sense of shyness - or was it hesitance? - emanating from his greeting, which seemed odd considering how boisterous you both could be with each other.

“I, uh-” he scratched the back of his head, before revealing a long-stemmed rose and pressing it into your hands as quickly as possible, like it was searing hot coal. “-got you this.” 

He tilted his head downwards with his gaze glued to his shoes, as you inspected the flower in your hand. Before you had a chance to say anything, he spoke up again.

“My parents, t-they,” he stuttered. “I didn’t know-” he paused again and exhaled heavily. “Well, I wasn’t sure what was appropriate.” 

He searched your eyes for any sign of mockery but found none. You nodded at him to continue.

“So I, um, researched.” He coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “They said, it’s customary to bring red roses.”

The poor guy was so flustered, you were beginning to feel sorry for him. “It’s-” you began, but were immediately interrupted.

“If it’s too much, I can take it back, no problem!” He reached out for the flower, but you sidestepped and evaded his attempts to grab it, chuckling softly.

“Leon, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “I’d like to keep my gift, thank you very much.”

At this, he relaxed a little but shook his head in dismay, “God, I feel like an idiot.”

“Well, finally!” You jested. “About time you realized.”

Without waiting for his comeback, you embraced him, thanking him for all the support he had showered you with recently and of course for showing up. You didn’t know how much you needed it until he did.

“That’s what friends are for, right?” he grinned, realizing that you managed to receive his last note of encouragement before heading on stage. And he was back to normal Leon. “By the way, in case you didn’t already know, you were awesome up there.”

“Oh yes, very awesome.” A husky, feminine voice piped up from the side. She was definitely European, but you couldn’t quite place where her thick accent came from more specifically.

Something about the way that sentence was said unnerved you. You weren’t sure if it was because a stranger had been listening in to your conversation or that she had just gatecrashed it without asking.

It didn’t seem to sit well with Leon too, as he placed his arm in front of you protectively, while you both came face-to-face with a rather peculiar-looking older lady. Her platinum white hair was slicked back into a tidy bun and she was draped in a plain brown dress which reached all the way to her ankles. Her hands and arms were covered in long, black leather gloves and the weirdest thing of all was that she adorned pitch black sunglasses indoors.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bite.” Her thin lips curled into what you thought might be a smile, as she gave him a flippant wave.

Glancing up at Leon, you could tell from his furrowed brows and tensed expression that he didn’t like this woman. Not one bit.

“Hm,” she scoffed and readjusted her sunglasses, obviously unimpressed at his defensiveness. Directing her attention to you, she fished out a white business card between her fingers from her chic clutch. “Here.” With a flick of the wrist, she passed it over to you swiftly. You caught Leon’s disapproving frown as you accepted the card. It felt weighty and luxurious in your bare hands.

“Maybe this might interest you at some point,” she added, and with that, she spun on her heel, giving the slightest of waves as she sauntered off.

“What the fuck was that all about?” Leon muttered. It didn’t take a genius to notice a fuming rage brewing within him.

“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you turned the card over from side-to-side, examining it. In white bold embossed letters, it read:

TANZTHEATER SILJE VÖLKER

━━━━━━━━━━━

When it was time to break for the Christmas holidays, you honestly felt a little lonely without Leon. He was celebrating a family reunion with his relatives in another town and wouldn’t be around until the new year. Nonetheless, both of you had exchanged presents in advance and failed miserably to follow the age-old tradition of waiting until Christmas Day to open them.

“No way,” you and Leon uttered simultaneously, right after tearing off the wrapping paper. It turned out that the two of you had thought of the same thing. There was a rock band you shared a mutual interest in and constantly listened to together. You had gotten him a limited edition CD signed by the band members, knowing it would pair well with the second-hand stereo he had picked up a couple of months ago at a thrift store. 

He, in turn, had gifted you a pair of tickets to see them live in Chicago in spring, seeing as you had always dreamed of catching all the bands you liked in the city one day. You enthusiastically chatted about your travel plans together, since you were obviously taking him with you. At the same time, he proudly displayed the CD on his bookshelf, commenting on how Blood Sugar Sex Magik was the best album ever released.

Christmas itself was rather uneventful. It was the same story of families huddling together around the dinner table and eating too much over a couple of days. Then there were the usual prying questions from relatives, which was mainly used to compare you with their offspring. How have you been doing at school? Which colleges are you applying to? Have you thought of your major? Are you dating someone?

Sometimes you were able to escape from the madness by excusing yourself for some fresh air. You took whatever chance you could to take long walks on your own around the neighborhood, breathing in deeply as the crisp evening wind chilled your nose and cheeks. The days had grown shorter, but you didn’t mind the cyclical nature of seasons at all. It made you appreciate light and warmth, as well as the cold and darkness even more. You enjoyed the stillness of the streets as you trudged along, admiring the decorative lights people had hung up in their homes, which contrasted with the velvet night sky.

You missed Leon. He always had a way of making things more bearable. You imagined his charming smile winning over your relatives, the inside jokes both of you would pull, and bunking off to hang out at your favorite small town haunts. Still, you couldn’t avoid the niggling feeling that there was something more to your interactions with him, even though the topic was being avoided like the plague. It had always been there from the start, masked under being all fun and games, especially with Leon’s antics and wisecracks when it came to anything vaguely romantic or sexual. However, it appeared as if he was beginning to lose his touch. Things that wouldn’t have bothered him before, now caused him to stumble over his words and turn away red-faced. You were a visual person. You caught him stealing lingering glances at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention, only to divert his gaze the minute you turned towards him.

You were so adamant about having a friendship, you didn’t really plan for anything else to happen. Plan. That’s a funny word. As if you could plan such things. And now both of you were on the verge of breaking the rules again. The rule of not falling for a friend.

Maybe you just didn’t want to admit that your nosey classmates saw it coming all along. Or maybe you just weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. Which brought you to the million-dollar question: how did you actually feel about him?

Ignoring the tingling sensation in your stomach that crept up steadily to your chest, you kicked a stray pebble into the drain, deciding to leave your thoughts where they were for the moment and headed home.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Soon, the temperatures began to dip even further as the Midwest entered into the coldest period of the season. You were used to the continental effect of living inland, surrounded by mountain ranges, where the weather could be rather extreme. This meant sometimes braving through heavy snowfall and tundra-like winds to get to wherever you needed to go. You had taken up a new part-time job assistant teaching in a children’s ballet class, whilst Leon volunteered at a nearby dog shelter. You took turns picking each other up from work, but there was hardly any time for a break until mid-February, when the locals organized the annual winter market, to stave off the seasonal blues.

You had gone out to the market with Leon to drink warm punch and eat some hotdogs, while having a go at some of the stall games. He did unexpectedly well at the target shooting one, which garnered him a neat Swiss Army knife that he gave to you. “For safekeeping,” he quipped, bestowing you with another one of those bashful smiles you’d grown used to.

“Wanna get outta here?” he offered out of the blue.

“Sure,” you replied, even though you were mildly puzzled by his abrupt request. He took your hand and led you out of the market square.

It was a while before the flood lights came into view, as you slowly sidled up to the school’s football field.

“You dragged me all the way out here?” you guffawed.

“Uh huh.” He unlocked the gate and pushed it open with ease, holding it for you to go through.

“I can’t believe you still have the key!” Now you were jealous. You shook your head with your arms akimbo, laughing in disbelief at how the blonde boy in front of you managed to keep getting a free pass at things.

“I’m just that amazing,” he shrugged, as you both made your way towards the stand. It was thankfully rid of snow, courtesy of the local community who took care of it on a regular basis.

“More like, annoying,” you scoffed, plonking yourself down on one of the benches.

“Keep saying that if you wanna get locked in,” he shot back. God, you missed his banter.

Luckily, you still had a few tricks up your sleeve. “Won’t stop me from getting out.”

“I know.” He paused, taking a moment to sit down beside you. “That’s what I like about you.”

Your breath hitched as he mentioned that. Was that a confession in disguise? You tried to read his expression, but it was impossible to decipher.

“So why did you bring me here?” you inquired, as a way of breaking the awkward tension.

“I started to get what you meant back then, when you said it was peaceful. Sometimes I sit out here myself, just to think things through.” He gestured to the field. “Kinda nice, isn’t it? This wide, vacant space.”

Your eyes glittered as a smile tugged at your lips, glad that he understood what it meant to you.

“Also, I didn’t want to be a creep by bringing you into the woods.”

“Leon the serial killer. Has a ring to it,” you teased. He laughed in response, as his breath turned into misty puffs swirling in the air. “But yeah, this place holds a lot of memories,” you added.

“Of meeting you and getting stoned.” You recognized the look of mischief in his eyes as he finished your sentence. “Best day of my life.”

“Mine too,” you murmured, while something stirred within you to share your innermost thoughts with him. 

“You know, before that, there were times where I’d sit here after a game till late on my own. Even after the flood lights shut off, I’d stay on in the dark, feeling like nothing could get rid of this emptiness… not even the crowd earlier.” You weren’t sure why you felt compelled to tell Leon all of this or where you were going with it, but it was important to you. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, more than you know,” he remarked quietly under his breath, such that you had to strain your ears to hear it. 

His answer piqued your curiosity. “Do you ever feel like you don’t belong anywhere?”

“All the time,” he huffed.

You were taken aback by this. Leon never struck you as someone who’d feel the same way you did. You thought he fit in with the suburban lifestyle and he was well-liked by his peers. Was there a missing piece? Not knowing how to deal with this newfound information, you blurted out without thinking, “Well, whaddya know. A jock and a cheerleader just faking it till they make it.”

He didn’t respond. As your eyes briefly darted in his direction, you noticed the discomfort that dumb sentence had caused him.

You felt a pang of guilt in your chest, regretting that you had inadvertently touched upon a sensitive subject. “It was a bad joke, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head sadly. “No, it’s fine. It’s just a lot more than that.”

“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to,” you reassured him. 

However, Leon seemed determined to continue. “I want to, with you.” You realized his hand was trembling as he ran it through his hair. “I’m guessing you’ve never been in foster care?”

“No?” There was a tone of apprehension in your voice, as you wondered where this conversation was headed, though you had a vague idea.

“Just wanted to be sure.” He smiled sardonically, before explaining further. “What it’s like is… moving from one family to another every few months, never really knowing where you’ll end up next,” he sighed. “And praying to god that they won’t be scumbags.”

Gradually, you started to make sense of what he was going on about, and everything fell into place as your jaw fell slightly ajar.

“Thing is, I’m lucky my current family took me in long-term.” At this, he paused for a minute, frowning at an invisible threat. “Many aren’t.” 

Then, it came as a cracked whisper. “Sometimes I’m scared… I’ll be taken away again.”

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, as you placed your hand over his, squeezing it tightly. “I won’t let that happen.”

He turned to face you with a dry laugh. “What, you’re gonna fight the authorities for me?”

You saw the fear and pain in his eyes, but you wanted to let him know that you were completely serious. You would do anything to make sure he was safe. “To hell and back. I mean it, Leon.” You gripped his hand firmly again. “We’ll find a way.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, relaxing a bit.

“I’m sorry… I wouldn’t have said such stupid-” You started to apologize again, but he stopped you, curling his fingers under your chin and tilting it towards him.

“Shhh, it’s ok. You couldn’t have known,” he surmised. “I mean, people have their questions, but my parents are really good at protecting me, and shutting down small talk.”

You continued listening empathetically, as deep down you had a hunch that he had kept this to himself for a very long time, and he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. He just wanted someone, specifically you, to hear him out.

“I can’t deal with shit like explaining to people all the time, over and over again, why I don’t look like my parents, who my real parents are, how I fit in… just so they can pretend to be my pity party.” His mouth twisted in distaste at the memory.

“The funny thing is, I don’t even remember much about my real mom and dad. It’s like a blackout. Like that part of life just died.” Closing his eyes, he rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers, as if trying to recall something in vain. “I heard they were assholes though. Or, I dunno, ‘very bad people’ as they said.”

What he had just articulated hit you like a ton of bricks, yet you wanted to be there for him, no matter what. “Leon… I will never know what you’ve been through. But one thing I’m certain of, is that they did not make you who you are.” 

He gave you a look of skepticism, but you pushed forward. “You’re a good person.”

“A really, fucking good person,” you emphasized, and you truly believed that with all your heart. “Remember that.”

“I’ll try,” he sighed. The doubt still remained. You weren’t expecting it to magically disappear, but at least this was a step in the right direction. “That means a lot to me.”

“Do you still feel alone?” you asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “Since meeting you? Not a chance.” You narrowed your eyes at him as laughter spilled out into the night. “Do you?” he questioned back.

“No.” You bit your bottom lip and professed, “I’m really glad I met you.”

Stroking your hair gently, he began to inch closer towards you, leaning in till the tips of your noses touched as you held your breath. It felt like time had slowed down, and despite knowing what would come next, you’d never felt more unprepared.

As if on cue, the flood lights switched off and you were enveloped by the obsidian night. Damn, the timer.

You were used to it, but it was clear to you that Leon wasn’t faring so well. You felt him wince, his breathing getting shallower and more uneven, as he tried to cling on to you. A part of you suspected that his vulnerability had something to do with previous foster placements. 

You interlaced your fingers with his, linking hands as you comforted him. “I’m here. Don’t worry,” you asserted. “You’ve gotta let your eyes adjust to the darkness and you’ll be able to see again. It just takes time.”

He nodded as both of you waited in silence, with only the sound of the wind whistling and each other’s breaths to keep you company. He started to calm down, as you caressed the back of his hand with your thumb. Just as you had promised, he began to make out shapes in the darkness and slowly regained his sight again.

You gazed up in wonder, admiring the celestial winter sky that lay before you, as Leon followed suit. The moon and stars seemed to hang close to the ground, as if frozen in stasis. They glimmered to the point of being dazzling.

“Do you see that?” Leon pointed upwards, captivated by brilliant light that shone across the sky.

“Yeah, they’re really bright when it’s cold.”

“Hm, yeah they’re beautiful,” he muttered thoughtfully. “I should do this more often. Just stop and take a moment to appreciate things.” Once again, he turned towards you, his words laced with double meaning. “Before they slip away.”

You caught the subtle implication behind what he said, as he waited to see how you would react. Your heart was racing, but this time, you decided to shut off the rational side of your mind and follow your gut feeling instead. It was as though an unseen force was guiding you, as you closed the gap, delicately brushing your lips against his. 

Just as you were about to second-guess yourself, he responded by cradling your cheek in his hand and pressing his warm, soft lips on yours. His hot, shaky breath tickled your skin, as you entwined your arms around his neck and kissed back, taking in the sweet taste of his mouth even further, and causing him to hum in satisfaction. You could get addicted to this. You really could.

Apparently reading your mind, Leon murmured through your parted lips, “You’ve no idea how much I’ve wanted this.” As you locked lips again, consumed in yet another tender kiss, you didn’t want to think about what would come next. For tonight, everything was perfect.

[winged-self-indulgence]

No Point in Running (STNAF)

Little fic for @stnaf-vn , a yandere VN. Hopefully I got Friend's personality down okay. Minors DNI. Get off my lawn! For context, this fic takes place after Day 1. Enjoy!

The bar crowd is thin this evening, a perk of coming in on a Tuesday evening instead of a Friday night. You’d managed to finagle a day off work after picking up one too many shifts for a co-worker, and Friend pretty much made his own hours, so you’d invited him out for drinks. It was the least you could do after ghosting him all weekend.

No, you correct yourself sternly, even as you fiddled nervously with the cork coaster resting on the bar table. You hadn’t ghosted him. That would be super rude, and mean, and extremely immature of you. You had just…needed a little bit of space. He understood that. You’d texted him about it and Friend hadn’t seemed that upset.

Of course, he wouldn’t. He was your best friend! You’d known each other for nearly forever! Just because you’d nearly hooked up on your couch one night, riding high on endorphins of requited love, only to wake up feeling like someone had just poured ice-cold water down the back of your shirt because oh god you almost had sex with your super hot childhood best friend oh shit and then hid in the bathroom like a dumbass until he’d left…Friend wouldn’t hold that against you…right?

Right?

The thoughts flee your mind when you glance back at the door for the fifth time in half as many minutes and perk up when you spot Friend walking into the bar. As always, his gleaming eyes lock on you instantly, and he begins to approach. A bit redundantly, you lift your hand and wave.

"Hi, I was waiting for you!"

"You're such a sweetheart,” Friend responds, hugging you a tad too tightly for comfort.

Oof, so he was upset. You let him squeeze you, inhaling the warm scent of his skin and hair where it brushes against yours and makes you dizzy with the memory of his naked skin against yours. You want to pull away, to apologize for hurting him, but before you can even say a single word Friend had already released you and settled next to you at the bar.

“Speaking of, I’ve got a surprise for you," he grinned.

“A surprise?” You echo, watching bemusedly as he reached down and pulled a small paper-wrapped box out from behind his back. “It’s not my birthday. You know it’s not my birthday. Or at least I hope you know when my birthday is-”

“Obviously I know when your birthday is,” Friend interrupted, rolling his eyes as he offered it to you. “Jeez, give a guy a little credit sweetheart! Just open it and tell me what you think.”

Partly suspicious, but mostly excited, you rip apart the paper to uncover a small wooden box. Opening it reveals a brass vintage locket, polished to a mirror shine. A clasp on the side pops the hinges, and you almost tear up at the pictures inside.

Friend is rubbing the back of his head, eyes on the top shelf as though the bottles of liquor were the most fascinating things in the room. “I repaired and restored it to how I imagine it would have looked years ago. Figured you might like to have it. It seemed just right for you."

"Aw, Friend, you spoil me!" You take the locket out and admire it, still cooing over the tiny picture of you and Friend making stupid faces on either side. The moon softens into something honeylike and sticky-sweet, and you immediately feel that flicker of inexplainable panic.

Abort. ABORT.

"You sap,” you force a casual laugh that wouldn’t have fooled a five year old, let alone your best Friend. “Are you trying to butter me up for something?"

"Maybe," he grins at you. His tone shifts until it resembles that of a child asking for a piece of candy. "I have a favour to ask. My dearest sweetheart, may I see you put it on?"

As always, his teasing puts you at ease, and you can’t help but laugh. "Only if you help me with the clips," you reply and turn around, putting your back is to him. The silver necklace settles around your neck, cold but quickly warming up the moment it made contact with your heated throat.

Friend carefully secures the locket of silver chain around your neck. As he lets go of the locket, you feel his warm hand resting against your skin. It’s only for a second, maybe less, and yet the brief touch makes you shiver in your seat.

"There. Perfect," he murmurs, spinning your seat back around so he can admire the way the brass pendant lies in the centre of your chest, dangling right above your heart. “I knew it would suit ya.”

"Thank you, Friend," you give him a fond smile, reaching up to play with the oval weight. "Still, don't you ever get tired of buying me stuff though? I mean, I barely know where to put all the stuffed toys you've gotten me."

Friend laughs, leaning back in his seat. "Is that all you think I do, buy you stuff? I just get you things that remind me of you. Nothing wild, just all sentimental things."

“Right,” you roll your eyes playfully. “And this is pure sentiment? Buying and fixing up Victorian era brassware for me?

Not answering immediately, Friend instead reaches his hand out to touch the locket around your neck. "You like it? It's a real antique, you know. Not your typical locket. Just thought you deserve something special, that’s all."

And of course, he needed something you wouldn’t want to take off. An earring was far too small and an actual ring would have frightened you off entirely (not that he would have let you go far) but Friend couldn’t afford to lose you. Preparations were still being made, but until everything had been finalized he couldn’t afford to lose sight of you for a minute.

Friend smiles sweetly at you, satisfaction oozing through his body as he watches you coo over his gift. In his pocket, the GPS app buzzes with new, up-to-date coordinates.

You would understand. He loves you so, so much, and one day you would see that there was no reason to run. That there was no point in running. All you had to do was say yes.

[missgryffin]

Thanks for the tag @jamesunderwater! Loved reading your answers!

🍓 how did you get into writing fanfiction?

My first (very bad, very cringe) foray was between releases of OotP, HBP, and DH. Back then I was writing Marauders as well as 7th Year for the Golden Trio and a post-Hogwarts fic called "Friends" in which Harry, Ron, and Hermione lived together in Grimmauld Place 🥲

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

Just HP!

🍈 How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I mean, I went through the early childhood fanfic phase that lasted 1-2 years, but then I didn't write again until picking it up in 2020 as an adult. So really, only about 4 years now of writing consistently, and maybe 6 years total in my life.

🍎 Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I also definitely write way more than I read. Mostly this is a product of limited time—writing is a creative outlet for me, and when I have the time for it, that's usually what I reach for.

🍌 What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I think I've improved a lot with descriptions and vocabulary. Like for example, with revising LFTS and ES, there's been so many moments where I find myself just intuitively taking a sentence or small exchange or small paragraph, and expanding it into something that is just a better portrayal of that moment? It's hard to explain, but when I do the side-by-side comparison, it feels more elevated, and I think that's going back to improving on writing descriptions of what's happening that feel more fluid.

🍑 Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Oof okay not sticking to a solid writing routine resonated with me too, that's definitely something I'm trying to be better at but it's hard!! Also a major bad habit for me is focusing too much on word count and setting unrealistic expectations for what I can accomplish in certain amounts of time. I've had to do a lot of mindset work to adjust to the fact that some of my old methods were unhealthy and unsustainable, and simply aren't realistic with making writing fit into my current, healthier lifestyle. But it's hard! Old habits and mindsets are ingrained and so tempting to default to. Like I've tried using daily word count goals several times, and it's always a trap. One would think I've learned my lesson, ha!

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hmm nothing's really coming to mind as being particularly "weird." I do ping @redrobyn285 and @welsh-green about Britishisms from time to time, and that often sparks funny conversations about cultural differences. Like for example, we recently had a very in-depth conversation about terminology for dorm rooms and different sizes of beds 🤣 But in all seriousness, I learn a lot from them and owe so much of the Evans family lore to their input!

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

The play-by-play reactions are my absolute fave! It's so gratifying and fun, especially when there's suspense and tension involved in the story and you feel like you're bonding with the commenter through the shared experience of all the emotions happening.

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm Castling was pretty fringe, I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read, but I'm not aware of any other Jily fics dealing with ~that~. But besides that, I don't think anything on my current slate is that fringe tbh. I've mostly been writing Hogwarts Jily lately, and that's pretty vanilla as far as tropes go. But I do have some adult!Jily in my back pocket that have some more fringe tropes for me 👀

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Angst. Hands down. I think because I'm an empath, dwelling in dark emotions for a story can be really difficult for me. Probably the angstiest scene I've ever written is the opening scene of Vindicated, and there's a reason that's only like 800 words 😂

🍏What is the easiest type?

Rom-com style fluff and smut! I'm such a sucker for all the classic sexual-tension builders: bantering, jealousy, flirting, a little sprinkle of comedy, pining, awkwardness. It makes me giggle and kick my feet while writing, and it puts me in a happy mood every time I'm writing it, which is probably why I'm addicted to it 😇

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Scrivener! I'm at a point now where I've learned enough of its functionality that I truly can't imagine ever going back. It's my fave. I also use Notion religiously for my whole life, and that includes fanfic, but I don't actually write in Notion unless I'm jotting down ideas on my phone or brain-dumping an idea that doesn't have a Scrivener doc yet.

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/ intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Domestic/Pregnant/Parent Jily. For the simple reason that I haven't experienced being pregnant/having kids yet and I feel like a fish out of water trying to write it because I don't know what I'm talking about 😂

🍇What made you choose your username?

I don't really remember the whole thought process anymore, but I love the musician/DJ Gryffin and was listening to some of his first album a lot in formulating ES, I am very much a Gryffindor, and also wanted something short, sweet, catchy that would be easy for people to remember and spell. And honestly I think missgryffin just popped into my head at some point after that!

I might be late to the game on this one, but tagging @petals2fish @apalapucian @blitheringmcgonagall if you're interested! 🫶

[thelargefrye]

NO CELESTIAL : FEARNOT … one - shot

pairing : hongjoong x summoner!f!reader x yunho

genre : final fantasy x inspired au, childhood friends to lovers, fantasy, hurt / comfort

word count : 10.1k (my biggest fic yet oof)

warnings : final fantasy x canon violence, language, mentions of death, mentions of god-like creatures (sin), (one) emotional breakdown, minor self-inflicted injury / blood, suggestive content (allusion of sex but NO sex in this!)

note : for @cultofdionysusnet meet me under the cherry tree event!

suffer with me tag : @sanjoongie @songmingisthighs (and special tag goes to @anyamaris and @stardragongalaxy)

it was your job as a summoner to try and cleanse the world; however, while you had a mission to complete, hongjoong and yunho weren’t going to let you do it by yourself.

summoners were seen as sacred people in the world. being the only ones trained in order to expel sin – a great monster who destroys everything it sees – from the world and bring upon what is referred to as the calm.

your brother was the last summoner to expel sin. you remember him leaving you in the care of your grandmother, before he left. all you can remember from that day is his bittersweet smile, tears rolling down his cheeks as he bid you goodbye. had you known he would not have returned from his pilgrimage, you would cried, screamed, and done anything to keep him here with you.

but your brother was not selfish like that. he had become a summoner in order to cleanse and rid the world of sin. the monster had taken your parents from you when you too young to remember, but you know that was always his driving force to become a summoner.

"i'll bring about the calm so you can live peacefully. at least if just for a little while," he told you. "i hope you can forgive your brother for leaving you like this."

"you have to promise you'll come back so we can stay together! you have to come back so you can show me all the places you've been to!" you told him not yet realizing what it meant when a summoner brought calm to the world.

not yet realizing that you would never see your brother again.

and so your brother left. he left with his two friends turned guardians and you never saw him again. the next time you heard about your brother was when you heard he defeated sin and brought about the calm. you felt proud knowing your brother did it, he did what he wanted to achieve. but with his victory also came his death.

you managed to hold it together in front of everyone until you were alone. you had ran away to the luminous forest near your village, the place you had been holding up since your brother left. when you were finally by yourself under the glowing pink cherry tree, that's when you finally collapsed and broke down.

sobs left your lips as tears and snot ran down your face. you felt selfish for crying like this when you knew your brother helped save the world – at least for a little while. but you couldn't help it, your brother was all you had after your parents' death, and now you had no one.

and it was when you had the thought of no one that you felt the force of someone's body colliding with yours. their arms wrapping around you and embracing you in a tight and rather warm hug.

you recognized the person immediately as yunho – if his rather lanky stature for a thirteen year old told you anything. and that's when you remembered you weren't entirely alone because you had yunho and hongjoong by your side.

the ones who had been by your side when you weren't able to fully understand or mourn your parents death. the ones who had been beside you when your brother had left for his pilgrimage. and now... they were the ones beside you, comforting you when the news of your brother's death had finally reached you.

you looked up from your lap with teary eyes to see hongjoong kneeled in front of you. his fiery red hair standing out more than usual against the luminous plants, and that's when you realized how selfish and inconsiderate you were being. hongjoong's brother had joined yours on his pilgrimage as one of his guardians, and along with your brother, his brother also had died against sin.

"hong...joong," you want to tell him a thousand things. how sorry you were, that it felt like your fault he had lost his brother, but you can't find the words. can't find the courage.

"its okay," he says before he's wrapping his arms around you and yunho and you immediately hold the older boy close to you. sobbing into his shirt, not caring in the moment about how wet and snotty it would be.

"please..." hongjoong begins after the three of you sit in silence. you're not sure how much time had past when he says something. "please remember that you'll never be alone. me and yunho... we're here for you, y/n. you'll never be alone."

"yeah!" yunho's voice is uplifting, and something you desperately need hear. "you'll always have us because we're best friends and best friends stick together!" you can't see his face, but you know yunho is smiling.

yeah, best friends.

your life soon returned to semi-normal. you had to get use to not seeing your brother, his presence growing fainter and fainter with each passing day. but you were thankful for hongjoong and yunho to fill the void that was now missing in your heart.

you missed your brother dearly, and you knew that even if you got use to him being gone, you would always miss him. but you knew his sacrifice wasn't in vain as the world was able to have peace.

until that peace was quickly destroyed when sin rose a year after you're brother's death and sacrifice. the monster destroying several villages and even one of the more prominent cities in halazia. when the news spread of sin's return you felt your whole being want to scream out in terror and anguish. your brother's sacrifice only held the damn monster back for a year?

"y/n, are you okay?" yunho has asked you one night as the two of you sat under the cherry tree. its glowing pink petals giving your best friend a rather lovely look. the pink of the leaves bouncing off nicely against his peach colored hair. you had to scold yourself for admiring your best friend like that.

"i'm fine... i just– i just wish his death didn't feel so pointless," you confess as you pulled your knees to chest and rested your head against them.

"i'm sorry... i wish there was something i could to help you," he tells you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and gives you a comforting squeeze.

"i do too," you whisper as you look out at the forest life around you. you were afraid that now that sin was back, your brother's memory and sacrifice would be forgotten. you didn't want that to happen. you couldn't let that happen.

and that's when it hit you.

"yunho," you begin turning to him and earning his full attention, "i'm going to become a summoner and–

"no," he cuts you off and you've never seen him this serious before. "i'm not letting you throw your life away."

"someone has to expel sin from this world. someone has to do it so no one else ever has to die because of that monster," you tell him. you don't know where this decision came from. if it came from anger or sadness, but you knew something had to be done. that you had to end the cycle of summoners continuously sacrificing themselves in order to stop sin from rampaging across the world and killing anymore people.

"no, i... i can't let you do this y/n! me and hongjoong won't let you!"

"its not yours or hongjoong's decision to make! i need to know that i'm not going to lose anymore people to that monster," you say feeling tears begin to form. "i don't know what i would do if i lost you or hongjoong..." you whisper more to yourself than to him.

"there's nothing i can do to stop you?" he ask and you can hear the sadness in his voice.

"no, i've made up my mind. i'm going to train to become a summoner and expel sin from halazia, forever."

you knew that in order to protect hongjoong and yunho, your closest friends, you had to become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage like your brother did. you knew the two males were against it. telling you not to sacrifice yourself to protect them – that they weren't worth you doing such a dangerous journey for.

you were upset at them. mainly hongjoong because between him and yunho, the older male just as outspoken and stubborn and fiery as his hair color. the two of you often butting heads and hongjoong attempted many times to talk you out of becoming a summoner.

"don't be so stupid! don't risk your life for this! no summoner has been able to expel sin permanently!" he shouted at you when you told him of your plan. "yunho! say something, tell her this is pointless!"

"i've tried hongjoong, i've tried, but she's just as stubborn as you are," yunho says, a frown painting his lips as he watches his two best friends argue.

"why won't you just let me do this?" you say, feeling frustrated with your best friend.

"because i can't lose you too! i can't lose you like i lost my brother! don't you see how selfish you're being! you want to protect us, but what about after you're gone! how are me and yunho suppose to carry on knowing our best friend is fucking dead!" he screams, tears running down his face, shocking you and yunho.

from all the years you've known hongjoong, you have never seen him cry. not even when his brother died along with yours. hongjoong always kept a strong facade around you and yunho, something you had always wished you would lower.

well now he has and you don't think you like it very much. especially when you're the reason for his tears. you feel guilty for causing him such distress and anguish, all you want to do it protect him, protect yunho.

you have to fight back your own tears, you don't feel like you deserve to cry especially in front of hongjoong. especially not after he's revealed such a vulnerable piece of himself to you and yunho.

"hongjoong, i'm–

"don't. i don't want you to apologize. i understand why you want to do this. but i just... i just can't support this," he confesses as he looks at you with his teary eyes. "go, become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage, but i won't be there to watch you sacrifice yourself. not for me at least," he adds and you feel your heart shatter.

"what are you saying hongjoong?" you ask feeling like you already know what he's going to say.

"i'm saying... that if you become a summoner then i can't be in your life. can't be your friend. i already lost a brother to sin, and to lose you... i just– fuck, i just can't imagine it," he says, head tilting back to try and stop the tears. you try to fight back your own tears.

"hongjoong... i'm... i'm so sorry," is all you can say. you love hongjoong, he's one of the most important people in your life aside from yunho. you want to live the rest of your life with the two, travel together, experience life together, grow old together, but you can't have those thoughts with sin out there. but if they – hongjoong and yunho – have a chance to do all those things without worry, and without you, then so be it.

"i'm so sorry, hongjoong," you say again, finally letting the tears fall knowing that you're about to lose him. "but i... i already sent a letter to the temple requesting that i come and train. i'm suppose to leave next week," you say and the looks both your best friends give you rips your heart a part.

"what?" yunho's voice is shaky, but you don't have the heart to look at him knowing that he's probably on the verge of crying. "you're leaving? for how long?"

"a few years at least," you tell him softly, finally letting your eyes drift between him and hongjoong.

you watch as hongjoong turns away from you, back facing you before he heads towards the door. yunho calls out his name softly, surprised by his friend's action. but before hongjoong opens your bedroom door and leaves, he turns to look at you with a heartbroken face.

"then i guess this is goodbye," he says before opening the door and leaving. you and yunho are left in shock as you realize you really did just lose your best friend, one of your everything's. gone.

yunho tries to comfort you, but you ask him to leave. he tries to argue, but eventually gives in to your wish of being alone. he gives you a hug, a reassuring hug that always brought you comfort before he's bidding you a goodbye and leaving.

the week goes by and you slowly begin to prepare yourself for leaving. for leaving yunho and... hongjoong behind. hongjoong. you can't help but feel your heart clench at the thought of the red haired male. he's been avoiding you since you told him and yunho about you leaving, keeping his word to not wanting to be in your life as you train to become a summoner. it hurts. it hurts so much, but you try your best to not think about it.

you've noticed that yunho has slowly started to hang around you less in less as your departure days draws near. you don't blame him, you'll be leaving for who knows how long, who knows what will happen in the next few years.

watching the two people you care about, and basically love, slowly drift away from you hurts. you can't help but think if you're being selfish with wanting to do this. with wanting to become a summoner to stop sin. to give them the peaceful life they deserve.

then the day of your departure arrives and you find yourself looking over your village, hoping to see either that familiar peach or red hair come bonding towards you. to give you one final hug and maybe allow you to tell them those deep thoughts about how you feel. but alas nothing, they do not come and the people from the temple ask for you to border the ship that will take you to the temple.

it hurts that neither one of them sees you off. you can't help but wonder if they are sitting at your usually meeting place, the familiar and luminous pink cherry tree in the forest, hiding away from your eyes. hoping that when they leave the forest, you will be far gone.

your grandmother shoots you a sad smile as she places a hand on your shoulder. you meet her sad expression and you can't help but feel heartbroken because of the two. they have a right to be upset, but did that really mean to forget you completely?

and so you board the boat, knowing you'll never get to properly say goodbye to hongjoong and yunho. the fear of not knowing if you'll ever see them again rises high within you, but you push it down. and then the boat leaves the dock and starts to sail out and away from your hometown.

training at the temple wasn't easy. having to control your maso, magic, was a challenge itself, and to control it and have enough to summon aeons felt impossible. but eventually you got it. you thought about the sacrifice your brother made, how sin took away your parents, and then your mind would drift to hongjoong and yunho.

you still wanted to protect hongjoong and yunho despite them separating their bonds from you. you still cared deeply for them. you still lo–

no. you think that. they were your best friends, all you had in the world, so of course you cared about them. but to love them? did you even fully understand that emotion? you wanted to understand the emotion, to say with your whole chest that yes, you do in fact love your best friends.

but you couldn't. you gave up that chance when you chose to become a summoner. they would never forgive you, never return those feelings.

especially after seven years of not seeing them. you had left your home village when you were fourteen, and since then you had been training day and night to become the best summoner you could be. but you did it, you learned how to control your maso, learned how to summon the aeons, and even learned the sending ritual that sends the spirits to the afterlife. you learned it all and made sure it was perfect.

you were praised by the people of the temple and other summoners. praised again and again for your abilities and how natural it all seemed to come for you. told you that your brother would be proud of you.

you wanted to be happy to know how far you have come in seven years, that all the training paid off, but can you really be happy with yourself if you know that hongjoong and yunho never would be.

you try to not think about them. try so hard to erase them from your memory, but you can't. this is all for them, despite how selfish it is of you to continue with this or how selfish it is of them to leave you. but you can't forget them. you love them after all, despite how silly it may seem. you truly do love them.

that's why you secretly dread returning back to your home village after seven years. you can’t help but wonder how much of the place you use to call home has changed. if anything has changed that is. but most importantly, has hongjoong and yunho changed?

of course they probably have, it’s been seven years. you wonder if they’re still friends or did they drift apart over the years. you hope not.

when you returned back to your village, everyone greeted you like you were some celebrity. welcoming you back with bright smiles and warm faces, it was odd. odd in the sense that you were only use to their pity-filled eyes and sorrowful faces after your brother died. but this was different, you weren't going to complain necessarily, but it was still odd.

"are you going on the pilgrimage, lady y/n?" you were asked by one of the villagers.

"no, i'm not. i finished my training and was allowed to come back home until i'm needed by the temple," it couldn't help the odd feeling of calling this place home again. for seven years the temple had been what you called home, and so to not call it such was just... weird.

"lady y/n, thank you for your sacrifice," another villager told you as they bowed, but you quickly stopped them. you had nothing to deserve their praise.

"please, you do not have to bow. i have done nothing to earn it," you told them, but it was actually yunho's mother who spoke up.

"my dear lady y/n, you're a summoner now and summoners earn the respect whether they go on the pilgrimage or not," she tells you and your heart twist at her words.

you want to ask her how yunho is, but you bite your tongue and instead only nod at her words. did you really have the right to ask her about her son?

soon everyone went about their day, leaving you by yourself and you were thankful they all eventually left you alone. many villagers greeted you as you passed by, making your way back to your grandmother's house.

your grandmother looked at you with a proud look before she embraced you, pulling you into her arms and hugging you. it had been awhile since you were hugged like this.

"welcome home, y/n," she tells you and it felt nice to just be called by your name.

hongjoong had changed a lot in the seven years you had been gone. as expected he would, but you're shocked to see just how handsome he got. his bright red hair grown out in a mullet-style, and his eyes looking sharper than when he was fifteen. he has an air of authority around him and you have to stop yourself from calling out to him.

you notice the sword hanging off his back and you're surprised to recognize it as his brother's sword. hongjoong never gave off the warrior vibe, that was always yunho surprisingly. it seems like you weren't the only one to follow in their sibling's footsteps.

his eyes flicker over and meet yours and you felt your heart both speed up and clench in pain when you met his eyes. it sped up because you finally seeing him after so long, proving your feelings never died like you wanted them too. it clenched in pain; however, due to the coldness and emotionless void his eyes held. like you were a stranger to him, and nothing more. like you hadn't spent most of your childhood together. it hurt. it hurt a lot.

"lady y/n, welcome back," he says greeting you, but you wish he hadn't. his voice had gotten a little deeper, but it was cold like his eyes. you were a stranger to him, he really cut you off like you meant nothing to him. you couldn't help but notice how he didn't say home, just welcome back.

was this not your home to? was he not your home when you were fourteen? when you were thirteen and him and yunho were all you had to call home.

"thank you," you say trying to hide the hurt in your voice, but ultimately failing. you're quick to turn away from him and make your way back to your grandmother's house.

didn't want to accept that you and hongjoong were now complete strangers, but unfortunately that's what he did a long time ago.

seeing yunho hurt just as much as when you seen hongjoong. the taller male had come bearing a gift to you and your grandmother – from his mother he tells you.

"oh, um, thank you, yunho," his name felt odd yet familiar rolling off your lips as you take the basket from him.

he's even more handsome than you remember, his peach colored hair still framing his face lovingly and giving him this soft look to him despite his tall stature wanting to do otherwise. his voice had deepened more than hongjoong's and you had to stop yourself from letting your knees get weak.

but seeing how much he's changed wasn't what hurt the most. it was young woman that tagged along with him, basically hanging off of him looking lovestruck. you recognized her as one of the girls you all grew up with, but her name was unfortunately drawing a blank.

"of course, lady y/n," he says and hearing the title pains just as much as when hongjoong spoke it. "and... welcome back to the village," he adds and while it was less cold and distant that hongjoong's greeting, it still felt like he was thousands of years a part from you.

again, your heart clenched at knowing they seen you as nothing but a stranger. just a summoner who shared the same village as them. you guess maybe this would make them accept you being gone much easier if you were to go on the pilgrimage, but right now it sucked. you hated it and wanted to scream at yunho for closing himself off to you. at hongjoong for being such a jerk and leaving you alone.

yunho and the girl bid you farewell before they turn and leave. you notice how they hold hands as they walk away and you felt like breaking down and sobbing right then and there.

this fucking sucks, you think as you close the door and set the basket on the dining table. before you go to your room and lock yourself away from the rest of the evening. thoughts about what would have happened if you just stayed here and didn't become a summoner.

would you still be close to yunho and hongjoong? probably. would yunho be the one holding your hand instead of that girl? would hongjoong look at you with emotions rather than as nothing? probably.

but you would never know because you chose to become a summoner, and you can't regret it. not when you have the opportunity to eventually defeat sin and bring peace. maybe it was for the best that hongjoong and yunho were like strangers to you now. didn't want to accept it, your heart still yearning for them, but you knew that eventually it would be okay.

it was in fact, not going to be okay.

you realized that you couldn't get over not being able to see or talk to hongjoong and yunho like you use to. deep inside you, your heart just couldn't except the fact that they just weren't in your life anymore. it didn't help that every attempt you made to talk to them ended in failure. hongjoong would simply give you the cold shoulder and walk away while yunho would just give you a curt "i'm good, lady y/n," before scurrying off in the opposite direction.

it also doesn't help that you've overheard the girl you've seen with yunho talk about a potential engagement. yunho... engaged? the thought didn't sit well and you felt like you could throw up if you continue to think about it.

you couldn't take being in the village anymore with how high your emotions were raging and found yourself rushing into the forest close to the village. the darkness it brought felt a sort of comfort you hadn't experienced in a while. the luminous plants bring back happy memories. happy memories that soon bring in a dark cloud as you remember that they will be just that, a memory.

you won't ever get to share hushed secrets and comforting hugs with yunho or teasing remarks and longing looks with hongjoong anymore. fuck, why are you still hung up so much on the past when it obvious they have moved on.

moved on from you and the memories you shared.

it was underneath the luminous cherry tree where you fell to your knees and finally let out the heart-wrenching sob you had been holding in for four months now. tears streamed down your face, blurring your vision as you sat on the forest ground and just cried. you felt angry at yourself for getting so worked up over all of this. angry and childish.

you punched the ground out of anger at yourself and this whole thing. you were the only one suffering in this emotional turmoil, you felt like. hongjoong and yunho... they seemed find. content with their life without you, so why couldn't you do the same.

it was always that same damn question, over and over again.

you couldn't help punch the ground again as you thought about how childish you were being. you chose to do this to yourself, you chose to leave them and become a summoner. stop being so childish and accept the consequences of your actions.

you punched the ground a few more times, ignoring the odd sensation coming from your knuckles as you pressed your head to the ground. tears still came pouring out along with snot running down your nose. every time you opened your mouth, only sob escaped you and you felt spit running out of your mouth a little bit. your whole body shook as you started to hyperventilate.

you fisted your hand so tightly you felt your nails digging into the flesh of your palm, but you ignored it. continuing to cry, you ignored all the sounds of life around you. you honestly could care less if a random monster appeared now.

that's when you suddenly felt yourself being jerked up from the ground. everything was moving so fast that you couldn't comprehend what was even happening until you felt two hands cupping your face and making you look at the figure in front of you.

even through your blurry tears you could make out the familiar head of peach hair, his whole presence giving off the same comfort feeling it did all those years ago. it honestly made you want to sob even harder. you hate how familiar and comforting yunho is. how despite the years apart, your whole being still seeks him out like when you were teenagers.

"oh, y/n... what have you done," he says, voice concerning as he takes your hand into his. when you look down, that's when you notice how bloody your knuckles are.

"why..." is all you can say as you attempt to wipe your tears away before more come out, you watch yunho as he does his best in wrapping your hand up. why are you here? is what you really want to ask. you want to push him away and yell at him, to tell him to stay away, but you couldn't find the strength.

"i seen you running into the forest, and i remember that you only did that when you were upset. so i... came after you," he says.

you can't help but furrow your eyebrows at his words. he... came after you?

"but... i-i don't... why? why are you here?" you're at a lose for words by him and you can't help but feel angry and upset. you rip your hand away from his and you notice his shocked expression before it turns in a sad one. what gave him the right to come after you after four months of avoiding you. "after so long... i've been back for four months, four months of trying to talk to you only for you to blow me off! why now when i'm sitting here crying! because of you!" you say pushing at him to get him to move away from you, but yunho doesn't budge.

instead he just lets you push at him and weakly smack his chest. he allows you vent all your emotions out on him as you continue to smack him and even cuss at him.

"i hate you so much, why did you leave me?" you sobbed, understanding how much of a hypocrite you are by saying that. when you were finally done, no more energy left to give that's when yunho pulled you into his arms.

they wrapped around you and welcomed you in the embrace you have been waiting for again for seven years. and just when you think you ran out of tears to, they just appear right again. you felt like you were thirteen again when yunho comforted you after your brother died. he hand a comforting hand over your head as he hugged you.

"i'm... i'm so sorry, y/n," he whispers once your tears finally stop. you can't help but notice the cherry blossom petals slowing falling around you both as he speaks. "i just so upset at knowing you were suddenly leaving. i regret never being there when you left, and i regret never greeting you when you came back. i was... i was just scared at knowing that i would eventually lose you and i couldn't handle it. i was scared to let you back into my life knowing that you would just leave again," you feel your heart clenched tightly at his confession.

"yunho..." you say but you had no idea what you were actually going to say. you think that maybe you just wanted to feel his name roll off you tongue after so long.

you pull yourself away from yunho in order to look at him and you're surprised by the teary expression his has on his face. he gives you a watery smile and when the tears fall, you can't help but to wipe them away.

"i don't want to lose you again," he tells you as you cup his face and you see his hands hesitate before he's doing the same. "i don't think my heart could handle losing you again," he says before he's resting his forehead against yours.

"you'll... you'll never lose me, yunho," you tell him, you want to so badly to tell him how you feel. how you've always felt, but you're scared. scared to confess how much you truly love him.

"i'm glad you came back. i waited day by day for news of your return. i had wondered how you had changed and so when you finally came back... y/n, i was so shocked by how beautiful you got," he tells you with a soft laugh.

"i wondered the same thing. when i could see you and– when i could see you again," you say correcting yourself, but yunho catches it.

"hongjoong... hongjoong i think misses you a lot. he doesn't want to admit how much he loves you because he's worried about losing you, but... just know that deep down he's glad you're back," he tells you and you let out a soft hum at his words.

"i think i owe the both of you an apology. i really di–

yunho doesn't let you finish before he's kissing you. his lips smashing against your and it catches you off guard for a second before you're kissing him back. your arms wrapping around his neck as you both attempt to hold each other closer.

you can't help but find comfort in the fact that your first kiss is with one of the people you love the most in the world and in your favorite spot. the cherry tree's pink lights giving off that romantic feeling you didn't want to admit you had been yearning and missing, but it really was something you needed. you're breathless when you pull away from yunho's lips and you have to suppress the smile that threatens to appear when he's attempting to chase your lips to kiss you again.

but then something hits it, hard.

"wait, what about that girl that was with you when you dropped off that basket from your mother?"

"hmm? oh, you mean eunha? what about her?"

"aren't you dating her or about to be engaged?"

"well, you see... i- i broke it off with her before i came to find you. i only dated her to make my mom happy, but we talked a few days ago. she told me to stop being stupid and not to date or marry to make her happy, but to do it to make me happy."

"so... you didn't like that eunha?"

"no. i couldn't, not when i love you and hongjoong too much."

you felt your heart skip a beat at his words. he likes you? but not just like, he loves you.

"yunho," you call out his name earning his attention and you immediately bring him back down to your lips. his crashing against yours as you run your hand through his hair. when you pull away you can't help the words that escape your lips, "i love you too."

the thing you probably hated the most about being a summoner had to be performing the sending ritual. sure to any witnesses the ritual was this beautiful thing that helped the deceased pass on, but to summoners... it was a taxing thing that really didn't help them feel better.

"lady y/n, one of the nearby villages is requesting that you come and help them," your village leader said, "sin attacked the village and left the place a ruin... if could go and help them–

"it would be an honor," you tell him, cutting him off. you knew what he was going to say, people in the village had lost both their homes and loved ones. summoners were seen as a sign of hope for those that survived a rampage against sin.

"thank you," the older man says, "i'll make sure you have an escort to guide you since you do not have any guardians to accompany you," he tells you and you thank him before leaving to prepare for your journey.

you can't help but frown at the mention of not having a guardian. guardians were often seen as protectors of summoners, warriors to put it simply. they were often usually close to the summoner, someone the summoner could trust with their life as they journey around the world or when they finally took on the pilgrimage. you think it was rather obvious why you didn't any guardians.

according to your village leader, it would take a day to journey to the next village. you're glad it won't take the longer. the sooner you can help that village the better it could help settle some of them down to a somewhat peaceful mind.

"lady y/n," you're shocked at the sound of the familiar voice, turning around you are met with the familiar cold eyes of hongjoong as he stands before you. "i was asked to accompany you to the next village. yunho will also be joining us," he tells you and you feel a sense of dread rush over you knowing that hongjoong will be traveling with you.

fuck, this is most he's spoken to you in seven months since you're return to the village.

"alright, i'll pack my things quickly and meet you both at the gate," you tell him and he nods before turning and walking away from you. you licked your lips nervously before turning on your heels and making your way back to your grandmother's house to pack.

"be careful, dear," your grandmother tells you and you give her a grateful smile before you're bidding her goodbye as you make your way to the village gate.

hongjoong and yunho are already there waiting for you and you see the two talking in rather hushed voices. you're glad to know that after all this time, hongjoong and yunho remained close to each other.

yunho notices you first and greets you with a smile while hongjoong simply gives you a once over. you try to ignore the awful feeling in your chest, as this journey wasn't about you. it was about helping the neighboring village.

"shall we be off then, lady y/n," yunho says and you nod before the three of you make your way into the forest.

the journey was as eventful as one would expect with the occasional run-in with a few monsters. the three of you easily taking them down and before you knew it, the sun had set and the moon was slowly taking its place.

"let's stop and set up camp here," hongjoong says and you and yunho agree without hesitation, tired from the day's journey. setting up camp was done without a sweat and before you know it, the three of you are sitting around a camp fire.

you could basically taste the tension that was between the three of you. sure your relationship with yunho was going smoothly, him often visiting you after his guard duties, but your relationship with hongjoong is literally nonexistent. he's still been shooting down all you attempts to talk to him, giving you the harshest cold shoulder ever.

you had to hand it to yunho though, he was trying his best to ease said tension, but it was obvious hongjoong didn't want to talk to you.

"yunho, just stop," hongjoong says finally. you notice the rather deep blush that overtakes yunho's face, neck, and ears and you can't help but admire how cute he looks despite how he was obviously embarrassed. "i'm only doing this because i was asked to. not because i want to sit here and share cute little stories with her. we aren't teenagers anymore, and i don't want anything to do with her," he talks as if you aren't there, and it hurts.

is that really how he sees you? as some memory from when he was younger that he didn't want anything to do with? was there no chance at building a relationship back?

"hongjoong, you're being to harsh on y/n," yunho says, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at his childhood friend.

"how am i being too harsh, yunho? i'm not the one who left us to become a summoner?" hongjoong says back, eyes hard and you can see the fire behind them as he talks. "i'm not the one that's going to sacrifice themselves for a pointless cause," he says and you can feel your heart clench at how hurt you are.

yes, you decided to leave them, but it for them. yes, it was probably a selfish thing to do without considering their feelings, but to say things like this to you. hongjoong was only doing this to hurt you. you couldn't stand to be around him any longer, you felt the tears once again threatening to spill and you had to get away.

hongjoong let out a humorless laugh as he watches you get up and walk away from him and yunho, "of course! run away like you always do, not caring about the mess you left behind!" he spits out, but you continue into your tent just as the tears fell.

you stayed the rest of the night in your tent, curled up and refusing to cry over hongjoong. at some point throughout the night, yunho comes in and lays down next to you. you appreciate how he hold you close to him and even more that he doesn't say anything to you. the both of you just lay in silence, yunho rubbing comforting circles on your skin and lulling you to sleep.

the neighboring village was in a lot more ruin than you could have guessed. you felt your heart clench and body shake as you took in the destroyed village around you. the houses destroyed and many of the villagers crying out in mourning over their lost ones.

the village leader approaches you with a mournful look, "oh! thank you summoner and her guardians for coming," he says and bows to you. you feel your stomach twist at how the leader calls yunho and hongjoong your guardians and you're about to correct him when yunho speaks up instead.

"of course, we're here to help as much as we can," he says as both him and hongjoong greet the leader. the leader thanks you three again before he's giving tasks to help the villagers to hongjoong and yunho before he's leading you to where their dead as been set and ready to be sent to the afterlife.

"we'll have the ritual ready to perform soon. please take your time as you talk to people, they could really use some help, lady y/n," he says before leaving you by yourself. you grip your staff tightly as you look at the number of how many people fell at the hands of sin. it twists your stomach once more and it makes you want to throw up.

however, you push the lump in your throat down and take a deep breath before your bowing to the deceased and making your way around the village to talk to the people left of it. they thank you for coming and for sending off their lost loved ones. it makes you feel better about becoming a summoner as you can help everyone here hopeful find peace. because at the end of the day, that's all you want from being a summoner. peace.

the sending ritual took place at sunset, the bodies of the deceased submerged under the water and the people of the village watching from the beach. tears in their eyes as some of them tried not to break out in sobs and mournful cries. you took a deep breath before you took a few hesitant steps onto the water.

your swung your staff from side to side, twisting the staff in your hands the further you walked out into the walk. you had done this plenty of times before when you were training, going through the motions of performing the ritual. however, this is the first time yunho and hongjoong will watch the ritual and you felt nervous for some reason.

you want to show them that you are a good summoner, that you spent the last seven years training for this.

hongjoong felt like he was in a trance as he watched you perform the sending ritual. the fires lit around him, yunho, and the grieving villagers turned from the usually orange-yellow tint to a sudden blue-purple tint and grew just slightly. he watched as you waved your staff from side to side over the deceased that were below you in the water.

then he watched as the water rose you and sprouted up like some fountain. you continued performing the ritual, like the water suddenly rising you up and coming to life didn't phase you.

him and yunho both watched as the pyreflies, the spiritual life force of people, began to leave the bodies and floated up around you and into the sky. hongjoong felt a cold chill run over his body as he watched the scene before him. he had heard of the sending ritual before, everyone in halazia was familiar with it, but to witness it. to witness a summoner perform it, wasn't something he ever thought he would see it.

he couldn't deny how otherworldly you looked while performing the ritual. he couldn't deny how beautiful you had become over the last seven years, he felt his stomach twist as he watched you perform your summoner duties and realizing that you would eventually leave him eventually to perform your summoner duties. he was afraid to get close to you again, to let you in again, only to lose you forever.

so he kept you away and at a distance. he knew that yunho frowned upon his actions and attitude towards you.

"she looks so beautiful," yunho says, still in awe as he watches you.

"yeah... she really does," hongjoong says and that seems to snap yunho out of his trance of you.

"you know... you should try to talk to her," yunho says and hongjoong knows he's right. yunho is always right when it comes to these types of things. "she... she loves you as well, always has."

when the ritual was over, both males watched as you were lowered back to the ground by the water. the pyreflies having ascended into the sky moments before the ritual was over.

yunho notices how you seem to be lacking some energy, but before he could approach you, hongjoong beats him to you and rushes to you and catches you in his arms. you let out a groan as you lean onto hongjoong who wraps you in his arms.

"hong...joong?" you're surprised that its hongjoong who catches you and holds you against his body.

"you did so well, y/n, no tears next time okay?" he says brushing away the tears you didn't realize had escaped. the sending ritual always was emotional for you, you had even thought you were successful in not crying this time.

hongjoong helps you over towards yunho who smiles down at you. when you regain your energy, you're able to stand by yourself and you move away from hongjoong. hongjoong can't help but feel a frown painting his lips, but he knows why you've slightly distanced yourself from him.

"i think its about time we all talk," yunho says as he smiles at the two of you, he runs a hand over both yours and hongjoong's head before bringing the both of you into a hug.

the following night, the three of you sat around another fire similar to the night before, and you and your two childhood best friends talked.

"i became a summoner because i was angry that my brother's sacrifice wasn't enough. he had become a summoner to defeat sin because the monster took our parents, but he also wanted to make sure i lived a peaceful life. i wanted to make sure his wish was fulfilled. you both... you're the most important people in my life. my home. i wanted to give you a peaceful life without sin. i want to defeat him once and for all," you tell them as both hongjoong and yunho sat on either sides of you.

"y/n... do you know how about impossible that sounds?" hongjoong asks and he's right. it sounds absolutely crazy and impossible, but its been something you've been training for, for the last seven years now.

"but its something i need to do," you tell him, "i want to make sure everyone can live a peaceful life and no more summoners have to die. i don't want to die, but i want to defeat sin," you tell them.

yunho couldn't help but let out a laugh, "you want to kill sin?"

you nod and hongjoong looks at you like you have grown two heads. you can tell he wants to protest, but stops himself. instead he takes your hand into his and gives you a comforting squeeze. the sudden closeness of hongjoong feels nice. it feels nice to finally be close to him again, but you couldn't ignore the somewhat awkward tension between the two of you.

you know it'll take a little bit before the awkwardness goes away, but that's how it was with yunho. you had seven years and seven months to catch up on.

everything seemed to be going well until you received a letter from the temple. the letter tells you about how the summoner who had decided to go on the pilgrimage to cleanse the world and put sin to sleep had quit halfway through his journey.

the news shocks you, you've never heard about a summoner quitting their pilgrimage before. you can't help but wonder what had happened. maybe he got cold feet and suddenly didn't have the courage to sacrifice himself. maybe he wasn't as prepared as he thought he was.

it was easy to think of reason after reason, but you concluded that maybe it was best if you didn't know.

continuing the letter, you're shocked when the temple asks for you to take on the pilgrimage instead. the heads of the temple sending you praise once more through the letter and saying that they had no doubts that you would succeed in the pilgrimage and bringing about the calm.

this is what you had spent seven years of your life training for. this was what you had dedicated your teenage and first years of adulthood to. to finally go on the pilgrimage and stop sin once and for all, to give hongjoong and yunho the peacefully life they deserved.

but how would they react? you had just gotten them back and you know it took a lot to earn hongjoong's trust back. it took a lot just to finally tell them both how you feel. how the love you had for them at age fourteen didn't just go away, but instead grew more and more. you knew that without you they would be fine. you finally had the chance to give them the life they deserved.

on the other hand, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted to deny the chance of the pilgrimage if it meant being able to stay with hongjoong and yunho just a little longer. but could actually risk the lives of thousands – millions – for a little bit of happiness?

you let out a sigh as you folded the letter back up as looked out at the sea before you, the sun was setting and hongjoong and yunho would be over soon. you knew you had to make a decision soon.

stay with your two lovers or go on the pilgrimage.

"what?" hongjoong is surprised by what you told him and yunho about the letter.

"the previous summoner that was going on his pilgrimage quit and so the temple asked if i wanted to go on it instead," you restate what you told him. the three of you had met in the forest near your village underneath the cherry tree.

"so are you going?" yunho asks after the three of you sit in a few moments of silence.

"i... i don't know," you confess, truly unsure if you want to go on the journey. "i mean, this is what i spent the last seven, eight years preparing for," you add as you look down at you hands which rested in your lap. "i just got the both of you back in my life, and i can't imagine losing you both again like i did. i know you don't want me to leave," you say looking at hongjoong, "but a part of me is telling me to go."

"then go, baby," yunho says as he takes one of your hands into his. "you want to kill sin, and bring peace to halazia. do it, go on the pilgrimage, defeat sin once and for all and then come back to us," he adds, as he gives you warm smile.

your eyes filter over to hongjoong, waiting for him to say something, but instead he remains silent as he lays against the ground, looking up at the luminous cherry tree and the petals that floated down and around the three of you.

"hongjoong..." you call out to your lover softly, in an attempt to get his attention.

"this is what you want. to fulfill your brother's wish and i can't stop you, no matter how much i want to object and fight to keep you. it was just be a pointless and heartbreaking fight," he says as he looks at you and then sits up.

he moves until you and him are centimeters apart, noses touching and you feel a little flushed by the sudden closeness, "you have to promise to come back to me and yunho. you hear?" he says and you nod your head and he cracks a smile before he's pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"hey let's get married," yunho suggests and you and hongjoong turn to look at him with wide eyes. he can't help the blush that covers his cheeks when he realizes the two of you are looking at him. "well... maybe not literally, but let's at least promise to always love and look after each other no matter how far apart we are from each other," he adds.

"and when you get back from defeating sin, we'll make it official," hongjoong adds with a hum.

"oh geez, you two," you say feeling a heat rise to your face as you try to fan your face to cool yourself off.

yunho can only laugh as he pulls you to rest between his legs and you find comfort in feeling trapped between him and hongjoong, who moves to sit in front of you and also between yunho's rather long legs.

"y/n," hongjoong begins taking your hands into his and you feel yunho's hands also come to rest over them, "will you spend the rest of you life with me and yunho?"

you let out a small laugh as you nod, feeling the tears start to well up in your eyes as you look at your childhood friend who has a similar expression on his face. he smiles at you before he's kissing you.

"i love you both," you say when hongjoong pulls away from you.

"good because you're stuck with us," yunho says before he's reaching down to kiss you as next.

the next thing you know, you are entangled with your two lovers as you three kiss each other. hands moving and pulling at clothes as you are rested on the ground and you admire the glowing, beautiful cherry tree as you and two lovers all become one.

and then when it was all over, the three of you were laying there underneath the tree and basking into each other's warmth and presence, knowing that you will be leaving them in a just a few days.

you feel a sense of deja vu rush over you as stand on the familiar dock looking over the your home village. seeing it right here in the same spot you stood in eight years ago now, helps you realize that nothing about the small village had changed. you can't help but smile at this realizing fact and you're glad some things will never change.

however, while you're about to set off on your pilgrimage, you had hoped that some things would change from when you were fourteen. mainly being that hongjoong and yunho would be here to see you off. you don't expect them to go with you, it would be too selfish to ask, but you would hope to see them one last time.

one last time before you–

no, you can't think that why yet. not when your journey has just barely begun.

"are you ready lady y/n?" the boat work asks you and you're about to answer him when a sudden yell sounds throughout the area.

"hey!! wait for us!!" you whip around at the familiar voice and see an even more familiar shade of peach and red running towards you. you feel your heart about to jump out of your chest at the sight of your two lovers, and you have to stop yourself from breaking down into tears of happiness.

"what are you guys doing?" you ask and you can't help but hope for a specific answer.

"well, we've decided to come with on your pilgrimage. we–

"we decided that we aren't going to let you do it alone," yunho cuts off hongjoong making the short of the two males huff in annoyance at his lover.

"b-but i can't ask that of you guys, its too dangerous!" you say because as much as you want them to come with you, you can't risk putting them in danger.

"exactly," hongjoong says looking at you with soft eyes, "that's exactly why we need to come with you. y/n, you don't have any guardians, how do you expect to protect yourself from all the different monsters?"

you can't help but feel rather embarrassed at realizing you don't have an exact answer for him. mainly because you don't have one.

"exactly," he says, reaching his hand out to take yours, "that's why me and yunho need to come. to protect you. i made a mistake eight years ago by shutting you out, afraid of losing you like i did my brother, but i know now that it was wrong of me. if i'm going to lose you then... then i'm going to be with you until the very end," hongjoong says and you can't help but tear up at his words.

"hongjoong's right," yunho says, gently taking your other hand into his, "we'll both protect you and be with you until the very end. the three of us forever and ever."

you don't stop the tears that run down your face as you pull your two lovers into you and embrace them. they immediately wrap their arms around you and each other.

"forever and ever."

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[agrazza]

ficlet (an au for "On Childhood")

A Bhaalspawn meets himself. It goes... about as poorly as could be expected.

(Sharing this here for anyone not in the discord. A 'what if' scenario for the epilogue of my fic "On Childhood")

He came to, flat on his back, his thoughts blurry and confused for a moment. What had happened? Last he remembered, he’d been gleefully snooping through sedately exploring Ramazith’s tower for anything useful— they’d found some good stuff in there before, even though it was extremely annoying to navigate— and he’d found an artifact that was hummed quite pleasantly to his magical senses as well as very shiny indeed.

Yeah, maybe he shouldn’t have grabbed it with his bare hands. But he’d had hopes of draping it against Astarion’s perfect skin and making him smile, so. Whatever.

He definitely wasn’t in the tower anymore. He blinked up at the familiar ceiling. Wood paneling, familiar chandelier. He was back at the Elfsong. But how had he—

“Oof!” There was a sudden weight on his torso as boney knees dug into his kidneys. He reacted on instinct, making to throw off his attacked, but a flash of metal stayed him; a knife.

A beat later, he realized his would-be killer was the tiniest murderer he’d ever seen, glaring down at him with bright blue eyes and a vicious scowl on his little face, his hair falling forward to brush Tav’s neck as he leaned over Tav’s body with a snarl. Hells, how had a kid gotten in here? Had Tav missed meeting one of Jaheira’s brats? Or was this one of Yenna’s friends? “Oi, you little shit,” he blurted, pulse still pounding with the suddenness of the attack. “Put that dagger away before you hurt someone,” he snapped, and reached to wrench the weapon away.

The boy fought him for it, and when that didn’t work, Tav’s greater strength preventing him from sinking the weapon into bard-flesh, he turned his head and bit down, hard, on Tav’s wrist. “Ouch! You little—”

“Tav, don’t!”

He and the gremlin both froze up, though it took Tav a moment to pry his wrist free of little teeth. A beat later, and Astarion’s perfect hands reached down and plucked the little terror off Tav’s chest. The boy went loose, not at all like the feral little thing he’d been only a moment earlier, but he was still hissing at Tav.

“Hush, you,” Astarion said, cupping the boy’s head and turning him away from Tav, and the kid tucked his head under Astarion’s chin like it belonged there.

“What the fuck is going on,” Tav said to the ceiling, because the sight of Astarion snuggling a toddler was too much to be believed. and then Wyll was there too, hauling him to his feet. “How the fuck did I get back here? And why the fuck did you bring another feral pipsqueak to our camp?” he demanded.

Did… Did Astarion just kiss that strange boy’s temple? Or had Tav hit his head too hard again?

“Oh, dear,” Gale said, as he approached, grimly looking between the brat and Tav. Tav glared at him.

“Not exactly what we expected, was it?” Wyll agreed. “Are you feeling alright, Tav?”

“I’m fine,” Tav said, and the kid nodded solemnly, still glaring at him. “No thanks to you,” he added, irritably, then gestured impatiently when no one jumped to explain the kid’s presence. “Well, where did it come from?”

“Don’t call him an ‘it’,” Astarion said sharply, and Tav startled, a little wounded. Astarion must have seen it, because he softened immediately, though he still kept some distance, which Tav was going to pretend didn’t bother him, at all. “My sweet, everything’s fine, but I’m afraid you’re involved in a little… magical mishap.”

“What magical mishap,” he bit out, but the boy’s eyes were suddenly looking disturbingly familiar. “You’re shitting me,” he said, jaw dropping, and the kid— himself?— gave him a very unimpressed look. “No godsdamned way. Fuck.”

“Fuck,” the boy repeated, in the exact same tone, and Wyll winced.

“Language,” the warlock sighed, as if not for the first time.

[the-and-sign-anon]

The Third Independent: 4

Word Count: 1,793

Series Masterlist

Thirty Years Post-Fall

It wasn’t easy to be alone again. You’d managed for the first three years after the Big Fall, with only the bugs for company. After Vash left and everyone went into cold sleep though, it felt crushing. You’d spend most days wandering around the ship cleaning everything, ensuring not a single surface or object got too dusty. 

When you would finish with that, you’d start reading the files on the ship. Luida had given you the access codes to anything you wanted to learn. You took a liking to reading up on flora and fauna from Earth, finding yourself wishing you could have seen the planet before it was stripped bare. While it left you with conflicted feelings, it was a pretty good distraction.

Now that you thought about Vash constantly, you needed a distraction every day. 

More and more often, when your eyes burned from staring at screens, you went out to the Worms. They would lift you up, spin you around, and glow brightly in the air above the ship. Your soul sang with them. In the end, your mind always drifted back to what you lacked, what you once hadn’t known you were missing. 

“Hey, Mayfly.”

You looked down from your perch atop the ship where you’d been watching a swarm of Worms and leapt down immediately to greet him. 

“Dove!”

Your arms wrapped tight around him as he tucked his face into your neck. His toma was looking aged, tired from the years of travel. He looked the same as always, except for the shine in his eyes. 

“You made it back!”

“Of course I did. Couldn’t leave my Mayfly to the Worms forever, could I?”

You grinned so hard your face almost hurt. His little nickname for you had evolved that tiny bit over the last few years. It was a small change, but incredibly important. It was the best he could do to tell you how he felt when his words failed him. He still hadn’t managed that three word phrase since the night you first shared a nest.

“Okay, you have to tell me everything. For the logs, of course.”

“Of course.”

You were keeping logs of everything Vash found in the years he was gone, trying to help Luida plan for how to expand the flora once it was ready. That, and you loved hearing Vash talk. 

He sat down in your room as always, settling on the edge of the bed while you held a tablet on the floor. He told you about each town he visited and the people there, watching you rapidly scribble down notes. He always paused at the right moments to let you catch up with what he was saying, then continued when your eyes flickered up to him.

This was his favorite part of his return trips to Home. Most of the time, Luida and Brad were still asleep, so he’d only see you. Not that he minded, considering you were the best part of Home anyway. After updating his logs, which gave him time to admire you in your intense focus, you’d bring him back to the dome to show him the progress made with the flora. 

You always regarded the dome with such reverence. Vash had been lucky in his childhood to see the greenery Rem kept on Ship Five, but it was all new to you when Luida started the project. You would step slowly into the grass, barefoot as always, feeling each blade move around you. Vash would follow close behind, watching every slight motion with complete adoration. 

Next, you threw yourself down, letting out a small ‘oof’ as you hit the ground before sprawling out to feel as much of the grass as possible. Your hands reached out at your sides, caressing a fresh bloom of bright red. Some of the first flowers you’d managed to coax to life so far. 

Vash joined you, much more slowly, and laid on his stomach, supporting his face with his hands. He didn’t allow himself many luxuries, but he couldn’t help admiring you at every opportunity. Your eyes reflected the false sky, your chest moved slowly with your steady breaths. You were perfect. 

“You’re doing a great job with this, Mayfly.”

“It’s all Luida’s instruction. But I have to say, this does feel better than that cold room.”

You were always more open about your feelings than Vash. While you certainly hadn’t addressed the state of your relationship, he did know how you felt. You didn’t shy away from telling him you missed him, or that your nest suddenly felt a little empty when he was gone. 

He hadn’t had the nerve to tell you he’d begun nesting on his travels. He wasn’t very good at it, in his opinion. He didn’t know how to make it as cozy and comforting as yours, with firm bedding to act as a foundation and soft, worn materials to wrap around him and keep him warm at night. He knew the real problem was that he didn’t have you.

“When did they go to sleep last?”

“Last time you were here. So… about seven years ago. They need their rest, so I try not to wake them up unless it’s an emergency.”

“The Worms still hang around, right?”

You nodded softly as your eyes traced the support beams of the dome. Your friends were just beyond it, always gathering outside Home to see you. You still sang together often, but it all just felt a little emptier. Vash had certainly done a number on you, him and his humans. You didn’t like to be alone so much anymore.

You remained in the dome for hours. The artificial sky darkened eventually, set on a timer Luida created to mimic day and night. She explained to you once how the plants could use a break from constant sunlight, when you asked why it wouldn’t just make them grow faster. 

The colors changed from blue to violet, pink, and orange; then faded to midnight. The only light you could see from here were the small ones on the door, always reminding you this wasn’t real. You weren’t outside, you weren’t just relaxing with Vash on a normal day. This was a little bubble of fantasy. You hated knowing it was bound to pop.

“Do you… miss this place…?”

Your voice was low, soft, more so than Vash was used to hearing. It surprised him every time, how your rough edges could smooth out when you got nervous with him. You were rarely so gentle with anyone else.

“Of course I do, Mayfly. You’re here. Luida and Brad are here.”

“I know, but you always miss people. I mean,” You turned your head to face him as he looked up at the artificial stars, “do you miss this place? Home? The ship?”

He was quiet for a while. You wanted an answer, but not if it made him uncomfortable. You were about to apologize and retract the question when he answered in a soft voice.

“I miss having a place to stay all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love the towns I get to see, and the people I can help. But it’s not easy to go back to scrappy little motel rooms at night. It’s not easy to look at all those humans and know that, no matter how much I try to pretend, I’m not like them. I’ll outlive them, and their children, and their children, and maybe even the towns they’re building.”

Vash shuffled to lay on his side and look at you. 

“I miss being around someone like me. I know Luida named this place Home, and I’m glad she did. But more than this ship, you are what feels like home to me. So… to answer your question… as much as I care about this place…”

Vash was already backing down, getting nervous and letting his eyes drop to the grass. You gently reached out and held his chin in your hand, guiding him back up to you. 

“Go ahead, Vash.”

“... I could leave it behind in a heartbeat if you didn’t want to be here anymore. Wherever you decide to go, that’s the only place I really want to be.”

You wiggled closer and pressed your forehead to his. You wouldn’t let him shy away this time. Your Plant lines began to glow, tracing through your body from your eyes to your toes. Vash locked his gaze on you and began to glow as well. Everything in the dome seemed lighter, more lively; not that either of you saw anything in the moment but each other. 

“I love you, Vash. This place… it isn’t home without you. I’ll wait as long as I have to, but please promise you’ll stay someday. That you’ll stay with me.”

“Anywhere you want to go, Mayfly. I’m all yours.”

You smiled in the light of your shared lines. You knew he couldn’t stay. Not yet. There was too much to do. Too many people and Plants to help. And Knives was still on the loose. Tonight though, all that mattered was you and him, your hands intertwined in the thick green grass of Home. 

Neither of you could make yourselves move for hours. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to rest, but it was as if you’d pulled each other into a trance. 

You got him for two months that time. Every single night was passed in each other’s arms. Every day was spent tending to the flora, running around with the Worms, and wandering Home. Your schedule hardly changed, but having Vash there made all the difference in the world. 

With each day that came and went, you dreaded hearing him say goodbye again. Every time he did, you had a harder time letting him go. It would be selfish of you even to ask, and he’d already promised to come back when things were over, so you held your tongue when he slipped his bright red coat back on and headed for the door. You sealed your lips when he climbed back up on his toma and let his hand slip from your grasp. You furiously wiped away your tears when he disappeared on the horizon and turned to go back inside. 

He’d come back someday. He’d stay someday. The promise he made, whether he could truly keep it or not, was all you could ask of him. All you could ask of a Plant who’d long since cuffed himself to humanity and thrown away the key. A promise you forced yourself to believe in as you burrowed into your nest and sobbed so hard you fell asleep to the comforting calls of your sisters.

[rosiesramblings]

Growing Out of It

Fandom: Stranger Things, Steddie

WC: 1.1k

A/N: Here is my squealing santa submission for @apricots-and-dynamite !!!!! Happy holidays! I hope you like your fic! And thank you to Hypah for organizing this whole thing this year. 10/10

It was a typical summer day in Forest Hills trailer park. Far too hot to stay inside the stifling trailer, Steve was lying on an old beach towel in the shade, lazily watching Eddie and Dustin wrestle as though it wasn’t hot enough to fry an egg on concrete. Max sat near Steve, fiddling with her Walkman, and Robin and Nancy were both holding cold cans of Coke against the backs of their necks as they chattered about college.

Steve didn’t know it yet, but he was about to make, quite possibly,  the biggest mistake of his life. Actually, scratch that, rewind - the biggest mistake barring anything before he stopped being an asshole.

A shriek from Dustin indicated that Eddie had decided to play dirty, and the giggles and protests that followed soon after told Steve that Eddie was inclined to absolutely wreck the brat, summer heat be damned. Steve smiled to himself as he secretly basked in the sound of Dustin acting like a normal kid.

“You’re smiling like a weirdo,” Max said, nudging Steve with her flip flop. “You’d better not be getting all sentimental over there, Harrington.”

“Why, Max Mayfield, are you promoting toxic masculinity?” Steve asked, running a hand through his damp hair and proud that he remembered the phrase from when Eddie explained it last week.

“Uh, no. I don’t like anyone getting emotional, not just men. I am all for everyone shutting the fuck up, all the time,” Max declared, and Steve cackled.

Eddie finally released Dustin with a ruffle to his hair, and the boy stumbled toward Steve, still sporting a wobbly smile. “Steve, Eddie’s being mean to me,” Dustin whined.

Eddie snorted, “Lies and slander! Libel! You just need to learn to respect your elders, my little sheep.”

Steve smiled, reaching out to poke Dustin’s side. “Seriously, Dust, your life is going to be sooo much easier once you grow out of that.”

Dustin’s brows furrowed. “Grow out of what?”

“Being ticklish,” Steve said, gesturing to Dustin like it should have been obvious.

From behind Dustin, Steve registered an unfamiliar look on Eddie’s face.

“What are you talking about, Steve?” Dustin looked at him like he had suggested Dustin try to grow wings and fly. 

“I’m saying, once you grow out of being ticklish, Eddie will have to find another way to torture you,” Steve explained, throwing an arm over his eyes to signal it was the end of the conversation.

However, he could still hear the mischief in Eddie’s voice, sounding much closer than he had been a few moments ago, “Harrington…” he said, slowly, and the warning bells went off in Steve’s mind. He opened his eyes and pushed himself up on his elbows, finding a slow grin spreading on Eddie’s face. “Are you telling me you ‘grew out’ of being ticklish?”

“Uh, yeah? Didn’t everyone?” Steve looked around nervously. “It’s a kid thing. We all grow out of it eventually.”

“Uh huh,” Eddie said, still grinning. “And when was the last time someone tried to tickle you?”

Steve furrowed his brow, trying to figure out how that would be relevant. “I don’t know, dude, Tommy and I would play-fight in middle school, but probably not since then.”

Off to the side, Nancy and Robin had paused their conversation and were observing the scene before them, interested. Robin had a grin, not unsimilar to Eddie’s, creeping up on her face, while Nancy looked a little like a sad puppy, the way she often did when Steve brought up his childhood.

“Really? It’s been that long?” Nancy asked quietly.

“Yeah? But I really don’t see what that has to - oof!” The breath was knocked out of Steve as Eddie suddenly plopped down on top of him, knees on either side of Steve’s hips. “Eddie? What-“ Steve jackknifed up into an almost-sitting position when Eddie clawed at his tummy.

Three thoughts occurred to Steve simultaneously. First, he was very close to Eddie’s lips, and a large part of him would like to be even closer. Second, he might have missed the mark with the whole ‘I grew out of being ticklish,’ idea. Third, if the evil grin on Eddie’s face was any indication, Steve was absolutely fucked.

“Quite an interesting theory you’ve got there, Stevie,” Eddie drawled as he pushed Steve back down. “However, everyone knows that a good theory needs to be tested.”

Steve was so focused on how hot it was that Eddie had him pinned that he barely registered what Eddie was saying. Without any more preamble, Eddie darted both hands into Steve’s underarms and wiggled his fingers.

Steve’s eyes almost popped out of his head. “FUCK!” he exclaimed before collapsing into laughter. Holy shit, it felt like his nerves were crackling with electricity. This was far from Tommy’s quick pokes from middle school wrestling matches. This was so, so much worse.

“What is this?” Steve managed to ask between rounds of snickers.

Eddie snorted at how baffled Steve sounded, even through his laughter. “This, Stevie, is evidence that you were wrong.” Then, he wretched his hands out of Steve’s underarms and scribbled over his ribs and sides.

Steve laughed harder, squirming fruitlessly to try and escape Eddie’s fingers. “Oh my GOD,” he gasped out when Eddie found a spot in the middle of his ribcage that made him arch his back helplessly.

Eddie laughed along with him. “Want to rethink that hypothesis there, sweetheart?” One hand still at his ribs, Eddie reached up to flutter his fingers at Steve’s neck, which made him scrunch up his shoulders with a giggle and pull his bottom lip between his teeth. 

Steve’s mouth shot open moments later with a shriek of, “Dustin!” before his cackling was redoubled. Eddie looked down and saw that Dustin had latched onto the muscle above Steve’s knee and was squeezing ruthlessly.

“Ooooo, did the shrimp find a bad spot?” Eddie teased, voice syrup-sweet. Steve shook his head back and forth, cheeks darkening.

“Fuck OFF,” Steve yelped, squirming harder now that he seemed to have remembered they weren’t alone.

“Still think you grew out of it?” Eddie taunted as he took the hint and gave one final scribble to Steve’s ribs before rolling to lay down beside him. Steve, still giggling, curled up on his side and hugged his knees to his chest. Dustin ruffled Steve’s hair, and Steve was too preoccupied with chasing away the last of the ghost tickles to dodge his hand.

Catching his breath, Steve gazed at Eddie. “Yeah, I might have missed the mark on that one,” he said seriously, before breaking into a grin. “Although,” he said, scrambling to straddle Eddie. “If I didn’t grow out of it… I would bet that you didn’t either, Munson.”

Eddie just smiled.

[icedmatchatae]

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter III: Blue

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Fighting, flashbacks (fluff, when they were little 🥹)

Word Count: 6.4k

Chapter III: Blue || Series Masterlist

Taehyung stared mundanely at the scribbled notepad laying on the desk of his studio. His gel-inked pen tapped rhythmically onto the surface as he licked his lips  Short phrases were written across the sheet, insignificant notes in the corners, like, groceries or calling someone, but most of the space was taken up by doodles he drew out of boredom. He didn’t get very far today, maybe a sentence or two, but he doubted it’ll make sense. He breathed out and lightly threw his pen on the table before leaning back into the chair. Coming here was a bad idea.

Taehyung crafted many songs within this very room, Scenery, Blue & Grey, Winter Bear, and other unreleased content. He remembered the motivation he once had, the passion inside, and now there was a lack of it.

It has been a while since he stepped into the studio. After the break, he didn’t go into the HYBE building in hopes it did something to ease himself. But after almost a month of being away, Taehyung felt isolated as he only stayed home and went to therapy. But when he didn’t have to go in, he didn’t want to be home, so he’d go out, and that was about it. He acted like a potato when in actuality, he was a multi-billion-won idol.

He assumed coming back to the studio would be a nice change, maybe even pull out a song or two for his solo album. Everyone in the group has been working diligently on their individual projects with Hoseok having his album coming out. The only person that wasn’t working was Taehyung.

At least he and his members had some kind of agreement that he should pause his professional life. But then, it slowly went into a rant from Namjoon and Seokjin about his well-being and he disassociated from the conversation.

He had a few events in his schedule, but that was about it. With the amount of free time the idol had, he didn’t know what to do.

Actually, that was a straight-up lie. He did know, but he didn’t know how to because it revolved around you. 

It has been a few days since he ran into you. If he was honest, when you said that, it fucking hurt, like hearing your voice—the voice that brought him solace—telling him to leave you alone, it brought stabs to his chest. You were so cold within that short exchange, it wasn’t how he remembered you.

But it was still you.

You were still his Blue.

“Blue!!” Taehyung shouted as he barged into your room without notice.

On the floor resting on your stomach, you were coloring in your coloring book with colored pencils. You dragged the tinted led within the lines and filled the blank spaces. You were too focused on your activity, unintentionally ignoring your best friend.

“Blue!” He called your endearing nickname as he laid his body on top of you, squishing you in the process.

“Oof, Hyungie!” You whined his nickname, trying to push him away and he was heavier than you.

“Notice me!” He giggled before rolling off of you before he positioned himself right next to you as you proceeded with your coloring. “Hey! Hey!!!”

You puffed, closing your book to turn to your friend. “Yes?”

“I have something for you!” He announced with a cheeky grin. You leaned your cheek into the palm of your hand, letting it carry some weight as you waited for him. He reached behind him and dug into his back pocket, then pulled out a smooth rock. “Tada!!”

You gasped, “Ooo, this is the prettiest one yet!” You opened your unoccupied palm out to him. He passed the stone and you examined the newest one in your collection. The size was small enough to hold between your minuscule thumbs and forefinger as the ivory-beige surface reflected from the sunlight spilling through your window. You followed the glimmer as it flashed on the cheeks of your best friend. 

You lowered your hand as you grinned happily, “I love it, Hyungie!” You threw yourself onto him to give your famous “blugs” as Taehyung loved to call them, also known as Blue hugs as they always made him happy or calmed him down.

He wrapped his arms around you as your cheeks touched with his, “You can add them to your collection.” You nodded as you got up from the floor to head into your closet where your collection box of various pebbles or rocks was stashed.

It wasn’t completely filled, maybe at most seven, as it only started a couple of months ago. You enjoyed it though and Taehyung knew you loved it so he too helped out with your hobby. Almost every single day, you begged him to find a rock for you.

You asked him before if he wanted to start a collection as well, but he said he didn’t need to since he was fine with the one he had. You were confused by what he said, but he clarified it by saying, “You’re the only rock I want.”

As you settled your newest one to the edition, you heard Taehyung speak, “Blue, do you wanna play with me and some kids at the playground?”

Your eyes widened at the suggestion. You weren’t that keen on leaving the house today. You’d rather stay home and color. Your neck extended back to him and you said, “Uhh, you can go without me.”

But your response only made your best friend pout, “But I love having you there, Blue.”

“W-will there be a lot of kids there?” You stammered, you fully turned your body to him and tilted your head.

“I’m not sure, but your grandma and my mom said yes!” He beamed a smile at you, only making you give in to him. You loved seeing him happy.

“Okay,” You nodded with a gentle smile back, but Taehyung somehow knew it was slightly discomforted. “You’ll play with me, right?”

Taehyung crawled towards you to put his hands on your shoulders. You stared at your large sparkling irises, waiting for him to speak. “I will always play with you, Blue. Just play a game or two with everyone.”

Your rosy cheeks protruded out, showing the authenticity of your smile. He loved that look on you. He squished your cheeks together and shook you a bit, causing you to whine at his playfulness.

“Don’t leave my side, okay?” You asked as reassurance.

“I’m never leaving your side, I swear.” He promised as he crossed his heart through his twisted fingers over his chest.

“Then let’s go!” You cheered before grabbing his hand to pull him up and run out of your house together.

Taehyung smiled softly at the memory. Rocks and playing at the park with other children seemed like strenuous tasks when you were younger. Looking back, he wished it was your only problem now.

You two trusted one another throughout your childhood, helping one another out. Whether it was helping to participate in socialization or homework, it was difficult but you eventually overcame it together. All without leaving each other behind.

It was always you two, Blue and Hyungie, a complete package to everyone’s eyes despite some of them begging to differ. They knew they couldn’t pull you both apart. It was merely impossible.

Funny how things changed. The broken promises, the hostility between each other—well, one-sided,—the impossible became possible.

He didn’t anticipate the meet because what were the odds? You weren’t one to move or go into the big city, because of how you were. You were so shy, quiet, and hesitant about a lot of things. But again, who knew? He hasn’t known what you’ve done through the years passed.

He knew what you had together was strained and it stung, but the moment he saw you, he knew. All the memories, all the years of friendship, all the promises were back, and most importantly, you were back.

He was determined to get you back into your lives. He’ll do what it takes.

-

“Why do you keep staring at the entrance?”

You averted your attention to your curious coworker. It was your night shift again, but today was slower than usual, especially for a Friday night. Maybe your usual customers were drunk elsewhere hitting on younger presenting women. Since it was too slow that no one was here, you had a break with Kenji as he slurped up noodles in front of you.

“I’m not? Just daydreaming.” You muttered, leaning your arms on the table. You eyed the tarp before you played with the straw of your drink.

“No, you’re waiting for someone to come,” Kenji smirked. “Specifically someone named V?”

“No,” You clipped as you rolled your eyes. “And why would someone have a single letter for a name? Fucking stupid.”

“You say no but I’ve been watching you do the same thing the past three days.”

“Are you spying on me, you creep?” You scoffed as you sipped your beverage.

“It’s an observation, especially when you’re working less than me. That’s not supposed to happen!” Kenji rambled his stressor onto you, but you remained unaffected. After gathering himself together, he cleared his throat. “Look, though you seem to act like you want nothing to do with him, you clearly want to see him again.”

“No, I don’t.” You replied shortly. “I-I’m just waiting for another customer to come in. It’s slow and I actually want to work unlike you.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes before going back to his food. You then heard the tarp open, ready to serve the customer. You stood up and looked in that direction, only to frown publicly.

The customer before you had the eyes you didn’t openly want to see but can spot kilometers away even with your poor vision. He dressed more casually, in a hoodie and loose pants with a mask covering his face. You noticed it was only him, no Seojoon or Wooshik which deflated you a bit. Wasn’t he famous and needed bodyguards everywhere he went? What was Taehyung doing here alone on a Friday night?

“Ken, can you serve them? I have dishes to do in the back.” You tried excusing yourself, feeling Taehyung’s eyes on you.

“No, since you’re so passionate about serving the customers.” He said tersely as he munched on his noodles.

You grimaced at your coworker before glaring at him. You grabbed a menu and nodded towards any seat for him. He smiled back with ease and you hated it. You watched as he took the corner seat in the front, facing the back.

You cautiously walked towards him and placed the menu in front of him. “Welcome, how may I help you?” You spoke monotonously.

“I’ll have water and coke for now,” He asked sweetly. The tone was poisonous to your dark aura towards him but did your best to not show it. You hummed boringly before turning away from him to get his drinks. You don’t see it, but his eyes never left yours and it can be felt.

As you walked to the back, you heard Kenji say, “Have fun with your boy toy.” He stage whispered. Without turning your head, you merely flipped him off before you grabbed some cups. You heard Kenji let out his annoying laughter.

You came back to Taehyung’s table with his order in your hands. You placed them down before pulling out your mini booklet to write the orders. “What would you like?”

“How are you?” Taehyung asked as he looked up at you. Your eyes pulled away from the blank pad to get a good look at the idol. His expression held genuine curiosity and wonder toward you.

You didn’t like the feeling he gave you, so your only way to refute was through passive-aggressive statements. “What would you like, sir?”

“___, that’s too formal. You can call me—”

“I don’t care, what would you like to order?” You were brusque, despite him being a customer. It couldn’t be helped. If ignoring him wasn’t working, maybe anger would.

Taehyung frowned and a slight nip to his chest at the way you spoke to him. You detected his hurt, but you say nothing and waited for him to order. Knowing he needed to do a bit more effort but had to do it carefully, he sighed and ordered like any regular customer. You did your typical report back as confirmation before ringing in his dishes.

While waiting for his meal and for you to come back, Taehyung spotted the messages on his phone. They were all coming from Clara which made him pull a face of discomfort. Didn’t she have something to do tonight? The majority of the messages asked where he was or if he’ll be home for dinner, the standard bug of annoyance within his daily life.

He quickly texted back saying no and that he was out with friends as an excuse. Maybe she’ll leave him alone after that.

It was only until Clara texted at a record speed saying that she told him to go have fun and how she loves him when he saw you coming back with one of his dishes. Though he read it, he didn’t text back and locked his phone before you were near his peripheral vision. He shined an exciting grin on your animosity as you settled the plate down. You muttered a quick “enjoy” and were about to turn away until he called for you.

Your eyes met his and waited for his request. “Come sit with me.”

“Can’t, I’m busy with work.” You answered swiftly, not wanting to be near him.

Taehyung scanned the empty restaurant and cocked an eyebrow. “There’s no one here.”

“And so? I have other things to do besides attend to customers.” You snapped back. You didn’t bother to even wait for his answer as you went back to the kitchen to retrieve his other food. You noticed Kenji moved leisure spots as he was now sitting on one of the kitchen surfaces. He too viewed your irritated demeanor, trying to grab all the dishes at once.

“You got him all to yourself, you know?” Kenji grinned as he grabbed a baby carrot on the side.

“Shut up, it wasn’t my choice anyway because of your lazy ass.” You retorted, collecting the plates to your tray.

“I can sense that he did something to already annoy you.” He continued to speak without your consent. “Well, I don’t think he even needs to t—”

“You either help me pass these to him or else I’ll rip your nuts off.” You threatened before you stared deadly at his frightened expression. He got off his butt and assisted you with the food. He followed behind you out of the kitchen with a filled tray.

While you and he silently placed the orders on the idol’s table, Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at you. He begged for your attention, but you weren’t having it. He was trying his best to approach you gently, but it almost seemed impossible with how you were towards him. The only thing that was helping him was the fact that you needed to serve him.

“Enjoy your meal!” Kenji bowed at the idol with a smile while you stood straight with crossed arms. 

Taehyung’s eyes flicked from you to Kenji, getting an idea out of nowhere. “W-would you both like to sit and eat with me? This is awfully a lot for one person?”

You rolled your eyes at what he was trying to do. “Well, that’s your fault. You ordered them so—”

“Anything for the customer!” Kenji exclaimed before grasping your arm and pulling you to sit down in front of Taehyung. Your coworker settled next to you and thanked Taehyung for the meal.

You turned towards Kenji and squinted, “You already ate and you do realize th—”

“I don’t care. Free food.” The younger man shrugged as he adjusted the chopsticks to his liking before digging into the food with no shame whatsoever. He shoved various vegetables and meats into his filled mouth without even chewing which disgusted you.

“___, aren’t you gonna eat?” Your eyes shifted to Taehyung who had yet to eat his food, tilting his head.

“I’m not hungry.” You said. It was a lie, but you refused to give him the satisfaction.

“Are you su—”

“She hasn’t eaten since breakfast.” Chunks of food flew out of Kenji’s mouth, making you both grimace at him.

But the very discovery of you not eating for hours had Taehyung concerned. The idol frowned in worry as he pushed the bowl of beef bone soup to you. “You need to eat more, it’s not healthy to skip meals.” He expressed before adding spicy sauce, garlic, and mints to the bowl. “I remembered this is your favorite and you loved putting these inside.” He recollected from memories with a proud smile.

You hated that your chest slightly tightened at how he remembered your favorite soup and toppings. It was something you were passionately particular with, especially with your soups since you loved the kick to it. “No, thanks. It’s not my favorite anymore.” You lied again as you leaned back into the chair. You refused to give him that pleasure.

“Oh.” Taehyung’s lips thinned into a line before looking down at the other plates.

Kenji raised an eyebrow at the encounter. He questioned how a world’s famous idol knew you and judging by appearance, tried to gain some sort of acceptance from you. He also wondered what happened between you two. But right now, you were making the atmosphere awkward, and wanted to enjoy his meal.

“Yah, just eat it! Don’t care if it isn’t your favorite.” Kenji muffled with food in his mouth. “Be grateful he’s feeding rats like us!”

Well, that did it because now you felt guilty about your childish behavior. Yes, it was irrational but to give to Taehyung, it wasn’t. He, unlike every human, didn’t deserve your kindness.

Still, knowing that Kenji would grow irritated at you for giving up a free meal, you let it go just this once. So you wordlessly picked up the spoon while dragging the bowl more to you. You scooped broth and sipped the warmth delicacy. Jesus, it hit the spot after starving for hours.

“Eat well, ___.” Taehyung desired for you with a gentle chuckle. The vibrations in his chest were evident, letting you remember the joy it rung in the past when he was with you. You eyed him out, consuming the meat the soup came with. You showed no effort to show your appreciation other than eating.

Though Taehyung got hurt by your overlook, he tried to feel better due to the fact you were still in front of him. He too began eating, but he attempted to start conversations with both of you. However, only Kenji was willing to yap his ass off, telling the idol his whole biography from start to finish.

Unluckily for an oblivious Kenji, Taehyung didn’t care as his gaze kept on your quiet state. You did not participate whatsoever and it showed as you made it blatantly obvious yet polite that you wanted to leave after finishing your meal within ten minutes.

Taehyung remembered how you would eat so fast especially when you’re hungry. Satisfaction ran across his body, staring at your familiar features. There were little things that he’d always remember about you, yet you remained stubborn in proclaiming you’ve changed.

“So how do you two know each other?” The question Kenji blurted out threw you both off. He went from talking about the time he stepped on a prickly coral in Busan to wanting to know the gossip between you too.

Taehyung blinked before furrowing his eyebrows, “Uhh, we are childhood best friends since we were five and six.” His tone was rather prideful for realizing how long he has known you.

“Were. We were childhood best friends.” You corrected as you sipped on some water.  “Not anymore.“

The idol felt disheartened. He assumed no one in your life knew who he was to you if Kenji had to ask. “You’re still my best friend.”

“Well, you’re not for me.” You immediately shut down, somewhat regretting the poison you’ve given.

Taehyung sighed and nodded, but it wasn’t for acceptance but for acknowledgment. “When my friends and I came here the other night, it was the first time I saw ___ in years so it’s nice to know a familiar unforgettable face like hers.”

“Oh, please.” You mumbled, scowling at his lying words which the idol caught.

“It’s true,” Taehyung murmured, yet his words were very much coherent to the workers. You thinned your lips, not buying into anything that came out of his mouth.

“Wow, so you knew V of BTS before he was even famous?” Kenji asked you in astonishment.

You couldn’t hide the fact when the allegations were clear on your face. Plus, putting effort into hiding you knew him required work that you didn’t want. “Yeah, I guess.” At least you acknowledged you knew him for Taehyung’s distraught sake. 

“Ooh, how exciting!” Kenji cheered. “Was ___ always this bitchy?”

“Kenji!” You scowled before slapping his shoulder. Your coworker winced in pain, complaining about what he did.

Chuckling at your interaction with Kenji, Taehyung huffed out, “___ is the sweetest, kindest person you’ll ever meet.”

“I beg to differ.” Kenji scowled at you as you stuck your tongue out. 

“I promise you she is.” The idol reassured, but you didn’t like how Taehyung was spreading things you didn’t want him to.

Your patience was running thin so you shouted, “You don’t know sh—”

“Oh my!” Another voice popped out of nowhere, grabbing the attention of the occupants from the table. It was your bosses. “Handsome boy! You’re back.”

“What are you talking about, Halmeoni? I’ve always been right here.” Kenji snorted with a boosting ego.

“You, hush up.” Harabeoji hissed at Kenji, causing him to pout.

Ignoring her grandson, she continued looking. “How are you, dear? Thank you for keeping them busy and with company.”

Taehyung shook his hand in disagreement, “Oh no, no need to thank me. I enjoyed my meal here the other day. I wanted to come again, and you have excellent servers.”

Though Kenji was pleased with the praise, you had revulsion written on your demeanor. You didn’t need his commentary or him.

“Halmeoni, this guy I told you about! He’s famous, he’s in BTS!” Kenji announced excitedly.

“Oh, you’re in BTS?!” The old lady’s jaw unlocked in shock. She scrutinized Taehyung’s face closer than normal before realizing it. “You are! You’re the handsome V! Oh my, V loves our food! Honey, V of BTS loves our meals!” She shouted out to her husband as she slapped his arm in excitement. Harabeoji also bounced in giddy at a celebrity in their restaurant.

Ugh, now the whole restaurant staff knew him and is going googoogaga at the idol.

“And ___ knew V from when they were younger.” Kenji didn’t need to add that in but he did anyways. You snapped your head back at your coworker and were about to protest but Halmeoni interjected.

“___, how come you never told us?” Your lady boss whined, almost as if she was scolding you. 

Again, you wanted to vocal yourself out but someone interrupted. “Halmeoni, we actually haven’t seen each other in years, so coming here the other night was the first in a while,” Taehyung explained politely.

Halmeoni laughed in delight as she clapped, “Must have been exciting to see him again, right ___?”

You refused to answer that specifically so you merely shrugged. “Would be nice, but he seems fine with all his nice famous friends.” You thought it was a good time to get up and bus the table, so you did and let them continue the conversation without you. Taehyung knew what you were doing, but wasn’t able to acknowledge it as your boss spoke again.

“It’s so exciting to meet a celebrity! You work so hard, son.” She praised the idol. Though she meant no harm and he didn’t take it with heart, he was a bit vexed. He was indeed an idol and all, but he hated being seen like this in public. 

“Halmeoni, if you do help me, please don’t tell anyone else about me.” Taehyung requested. “I like to be kept hidden in certain situations like this and please, just call me Taehyung.”

You eyed him out when he wasn’t looking. Maybe it was protocol for him since he was alone. At least he was polite enough to tell them because you could tell that him hearing “V” or “BTS” was bothersome.

“Got it, we’re sorry!” Harabeoji apologized on their behalf.

“No, no. It’s fine.” The idol chuckled forcibly to lighten the mood. “Just a special request. I’d love to come again if no one else disturbs me.”

They all nodded in agreement while you collected the empty plates. While doing so, Taehyung started helping you with it. You glared at him, touching your work. Feeling your anger, he said, “Don’t worry, it’s the least I can do for everything.”

“Sweet boy.” Your lady boss cooed at your helping hand.

“Great work, Hyung.” Kenji gave a thumbs up to the idol, feeling like it was only fair to call him that before the younger walked away from the scene. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind, but that’s only because he was too focused on you, wanting to be near you.

When everyone else left to go do whatever, you piled the dishes up and headed down to the kitchen. But not without Taehyung tailing you behind like a little duckling. You barely acknowledged him when you heard the swing door open twice, realizing he was following the entire time. You placed the dirty dishes into the sink for Kenji to do and Taehyung does the same.

You checked the time from the kitchen clock, discovering that it was closing time. So you brushed passed Taehyung to grab a rag and the mop and bucket to clean up for the day. As you wiped down the used table, you heard the bucket roll. You pivoted your head and saw Taehyung starting to mop for you.

Your right eye twitched at the sight before aggressively informing, “You know you can leave right?”

Taehyung’s eyes went from the floor to your blank expression. He gripped the handle, trying to ease himself from nervousness. You made him agitated with everything he has been doing. It was mainly the fact that he trusted your word when you were younger all the time and you meant well. He still does, but maybe your words were biased against his.

“Uhh, well…I haven’t paid for the meal yet.” He mentioned as he scratched the back of his neck.

You completely forgot about that, so it was on you. You hummed in response before dropping the rag to head down to the cashier behind the counter. Again, Taehyung came behind and waited in front of the countertop. You pounded the keys to his order before the receipt popped out. You ripped it off before putting it in the checkbook and sliding it to him.

After paying with ease, Taehyung then went back to his previous task—mopping. You grew puzzled as you caught up to him. Before he could even reach the mop, you rolled it away from him and hogged it. “I told you, you can leave.”

“Yeah, I can. But I don’t want to.” He countered. He reached out for the mop but you pulled back further. He sighed before he paced towards the rag you dropped on the table to continue to help clean up.

“No! Fucking leave!” You demanded, but he wasn’t listening as he went on wiping the tables. “Hey!”

“Just give up, ___!” Kenji called out from the kitchen, watching his entertainment come up. “We are short staff anyway!”

“What do you mean? For a small restaurant, we just need two! Even Halmeoni said she doesn’t want anymore because she couldn’t even pay no more than us!” You spat back, gaining another headache for the night.

“True, but leave it alone!” Your coworker defended. “Plus free labor!”

“I agree!” Halmeoni butted it, agreeing with her grandson.

You pouted furiously, knowing you were losing. Your temper was through the roof being in the presence of him. Though his face was contented and not in an arrogant way, you were irritated at his kindness.

Nevertheless, you went back to your duties as fast and efficiently as possible to shorten your time here. Taehyung was done way before you and even stacked the chairs on the table for you to mop through. You didn’t thank him but nodded in acknowledgment as he followed where you were mopping to put them up. You did complain that he went over the mopped areas to which he apologized but that was it.

You were finally done for the night, yet Taehyung was still here. You hung your apron on the rack as you bid your farewells to your bosses and Kenji. But when you tried doing so, everyone’s attention went towards the idol as they thanked him for his help and gave more sides and dishes to him as a gift.

you were being ignored, so you decided to leave. You were tired enough as is being awake since the early morning. It’s whatever. Clutching your bag, you sped out of the restaurant and breathed in the outside.

The air wasn’t as fresh but at least it wasn’t suffocating you like the inside. You had a minor migraine from this whole week and you mentally cried that you weren’t going to sleep right away. It was fine. The day was almost over and you could rest once get home.

“___!”

The day wasn’t over yet.

Not wanting to deal with him, you began walking your route to the bus stop. Unfortunately for you, the sounds of fast footsteps pitter-pattered behind. You tried to accelerate but due to his size and long legs, he was able to curve in front of you, halting your movement before you could even bump into him.

“___! Please let’s talk.”

“I’m going home.” You informed and you stepped to the side, but Taehyung seemed like a psychic when he knew which direction you were going. “Leav—”

“How are you, ___? It’s been a while.” Taehyung sincerely wondered as he looked down at you. You never realized how tall he has gotten, but that didn’t matter right now. 

You grind on your teeth with your lips trembling in rage. Was he seriously going to ask you that despite the very last time you genuinely talked to him? You were so frustrated that you asked, “Why are you even here? Aren’t you gonna get into trouble wandering around the streets alone without your army of bodyguards, Mr. Big Shot?”

You spoke so wicked, it was unlike the best friend he had. You were upset with him, yet he did no harm right now.

“We have a break from our group, so no, and I don’t have bodyguards all the time, I don’t wanna talk about that right now,” Taehyung responded carefully and soundly, in contrast to your wrath. “___, I wanted to see you again.”

You laughed incredulously with a touch of ache in your heart. You almost believed him, but then you reminded yourself. “For someone who told me otherwise, it seems a bit much, isn’t it?”

The idol gulped, feeling the guilt consuming him. “I—“

“Save it, Taehyung. We met coincidentally. I didn’t expect to see you anywhere near here but it happened. But we should leave it like that. Goodbye.” You nudged your shoulder through him as you passed by, but he clasped your arm in desperation. 

“B-Blue.”

Your pupils dilated at the sudden use of the childhood nickname he used to call you. The sound of the name coming out of his mouth used to be music to your ears. It brought up unwanted cherished memories that were now in vain. The nickname triggered you, and you fought back the tears that threatened to escape. “Do not fucking call me that!” You tugged back your arm once you finally met his devastated expression. “Leave it as is!”

“But…I don’t wanna leave it like this!” Taehyung raised his voice, attempting to emphasize his begging.

“Well, I want to! Now go to your many friends who are wayyyyy better.” You hurled back. “Go focus on your rich famous lifestyle with your fucking designer brands and leave me alone!”

“___, please don’t be like this.” The idol begged as he stretched out to hold your arm, but you stepped back, refusing to let him touch you.

“Why not?” You yelled. “It’s been almost ten years since you’ve last spoken to me. You don’t know what happened, what I went through, and who I am now. At that time, nothing between me and you. You have your members, fans, friends, family, and your dog.” You pattered as you listed things that he wasn’t expecting you to know, like his dog that he got way after you. Maybe you did know things, yet there were still things he knew nothing about you. “You don’t need me in it and I don’t need you either.”

You decided to end it from there, so you turned your heel and walked your path. When you were at a distance, you heard his gentle voice call out to you. “What if I need you now?” The slight crack in the sound grabbed your attention. You looked over your shoulder and peered at him, seeing tears were now falling down his face.

“What?” Your tone was more tender, as the way, he looked brought a betrayed concern in you, though you still held your angry face.

“I always needed you, but what if I really need you now?” He sniffled as he stepped hesitantly towards you. You weren’t moving away, so he assumed you let him come your way. He wiped the tears away with his hoodie sleeve. “I’m hurting, ___, a-and I don’t know how to deal with it. What if I need you now?”

You sighed, “Taehyung—“

“It’s Hyungie, remember? You’re the first and only one who called me that nickname.” He shook his head. He hated the distance you kept on, it didn't feel right. “Hyungie and Blue!” 

“No!” You protested, trying to stand your ground. “Just because you’re going through some shit now should not make me suffice you for what you did.” You controlled your shaking breath, forcing yourself not to cry in front of him, and it was probably one of the hardest things to do. “You never considered how hurt I was when I lost you in my life, and for good. I lost my best friend that day, the only one that I could truly be myself with, the one who got me out of my shell, the one who made me smile, the one I loved.” You spoke honestly and wholeheartedly while also keeping certain things out because you knew you’d break in front of him. It was for the best anyway. 

You explained further, getting most of your years of reflection out. “It was hard, starting all over. Trusting people is harder to get and receive, but it got better over time.” You semi-lied. You had friends here and there, but never consistent. You never had someone else like Taehyung. As much as it pained you to say, there was none like the friendship and love he had for you. “I was able to move on from all of that, and so can you.” You told him while you watched more tears streak down his reddened cheeks. “The person you need isn’t me now, so if you’re trying to find her, I can’t help you.”

He exhaled, trying his best not to cry so much in front of you. But his emotions got the better of him. “I admit I was an asshole for hurting you and I’ve always regretted it. But when I say I need you now, I want a friendship with you again. Past you, current you, future you, I don’t care! I want to make up for all that we’ve missed!”

“No.” You answered.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“That’s not a good reason.”

“Why do I need a good reason?” You scoffed, refusing to be swayed. “What happened in the past…”

“I know you don’t like our previous friendship, but why not like one with me now?” He suggested, but you still weren’t moved. Your demeanor remained hard and impenetrable.

“Taehyung, I wanted a friendship with you—I loved our friendship, but you blew it!” You complained as you pinched the bridge of your nose. He wasn’t getting you whatsoever. Was this really someone who you deemed as important in your life? Okay, that was a bit harsh. You didn’t like that. “What makes you think I want one now, knowing what happened before?”

“Like what you said, you’re different and I’m also different too! Please give me a chance.” He reasoned with a plea. He grabbed your shoulders and somehow you let him as your piercing gaze met his glassy eyes. “Please. You can’t punish me for what I did years back. I was stupid and childish!”

“You still are,” You whispered. “And you can’t tell me what to do, so I can. I will punish you for the shit you’ve done to me!”

“Jesus fuck, I forgot how stubborn you are.” He groaned, jaw clenching in irateness. But refused to let it get to him. 

You unexpectedly grabbed his forearms in a gentle matter, surprising him with how you were being. But he thought about it too soon when you hauled his hands away for you even pinching it. He winced in pain, rubbing the sore areas when you spat out. “I’m never giving you a chance.”

He shook his head in denial. “Blue—“

“I will not change my mind. I hate you! Go fuck yourself, Kim Taehyung.” You barked as you felt your cheeks heating up in fury. “Have a nice life.”

With that, you finally left him be. You refused to give in. You didn’t spare a glance back no matter how many times he called you and your nickname. It hurt, but it had to be done. You knew he sobbed as you walked away. But little did he know, on the bus ride home, you too wept your heart out, seeing how broken you both were.

A/N: I understand how stubborn oc is but there’s always a reason. There’s still more to the plot that have yet to be released 🫡 Please let me know any feedback. Your comments are greatly appreciated <3

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee

[kfedup]

I’ve been home for a week and I still feel all out of sorts. Had my first therapy session today since the week before I went away and it was a doozy. She asked me to work on giving myself permission to be as disregulated as I clearly am after two weeks in my childhood home with all that comes with that.

We talked about how my whole life I’ve been able to compartmentalize and carry on, but now that I’m working so hard at living from within my body instead of dissociated, the old stick it on the back burner method no longer works for me. My body fights it. So I feel a deep heaviness in my chest and like my middle is empty and cold and I’m struggling to accomplish the tasks I set out so I can reach certain goals.

So rather than fighting that and giving myself shit for having a hard time focusing, I’m encouraged to tell myself that of course I’m all discombobulated and it’s okay to let myself be so. I spent two weeks with several people’s and unidentified entities intense anxiety and emotional vibrations. It was an intense ongoing trigger event that had me questioning so many things.

Anyway, so let myself be a mess and do it with kindness. The other homework for the week is to experiment with what it means for me to invite play into my life. Oof. That’s a real nut punch. I don’t think I ever really learned how to play. I have it in mind that I’d like to start taking hip hop dance lessons but the closest are an hour away and there’s a wait list. So I’ll think on the idea of play some more. Ask my kids and they’ll tell you I had no idea how to play with them when they were little. Makes sense when I was always told to go entertain myself when I was a kid.

[clearwillow]

Happy Spooky Season Love! I'm here to ask you all about the ask game. ☺️

Let's see, let's ask 💔,⛔️, 👐, & 🧠(do our fav heroin Kagome for this one).

Oh you picked some fun ones!

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Actually yeah. Parts of Strange, Pretend You're Mine, and The Highest Bidder were heavy-hitters when I went back and reread them. The first two not so much during editing, but I put some space between writing and editing the third and oof lol

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yep, there's been a couple. One was one that I thought would be a oneshot and then too much plot happened, I got frustrated, and ended up tabling it. I'll probably come back to it when I've got the time to properly write it, cause trying to jump between the past and present like I was really didn't do it justice. There's another one, a darker one, that I'm never going to revisit. I considered it, but the ending wouldn't be satisfactory for what horrible things happen in it.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

For Kagome... I figured there was some way that she'd leave a sign of how her life in the past was going for her family to find. Like a time capsule of sorts. There was a lot of trial and error getting something that would be sustained for that length of time, and she'd periodically go back to the location to see if it had disappeared. There was part of her that was skeptical if it'd work, but the day she did see the hole empty, she sobbed in relief.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Gonna drop it under a cut cause of the length, but I shared this as a Sunday Sampler on Patreon last month. Part of the Making Waves universe.

Inuyasha stared at the pink-purple stone that lay in the palm of his hand. The imitation puka shell fragments that surrounded it on either side on the cord were stark white. They were most likely the product of some corporation for seasonal aesthetic jewelry meant for tourists, but the polished stone… it was very much the real deal. The merman never thought that he’d lay his eyes on one of the Sacred Jewels of the seven seas.

He certainly never expected that his childhood friend-turned-wife would own one.

After their honeymoon, on the next available day that his family would come to the shore, the pair brought the necklace to Touga for inspection. Kagome had barely removed the necklace from its drawstring bag before the shriek from Inukimi nearly made her drop it.

“How did you get that?!” the older woman gasped.

Kagome looked confused. “I…I got it from the boardwalk…” she said slowly. “It was one of the prizes at a game booth…”

Inukimi looked like she was a step away from hyperventilating. “Sacred…Sea…b-board…walk…g-game…pr-pr –”

Touga reached up and began to rub his wife’s back, telling her to take small breaths before she caused a scene. Izayoi looked just as confused as Kagome, and both were looking to Sesshomaru for some kind of explanation. Inuyasha wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was hoping for one too. All he knew of were old tales that weren’t enough to go on.

“My mother,” he sighed, “is having a moment because – upon first look at your necklace – it resembles one of the Sacred Jewels of the seven seas. That particular stone is highly sought after and extremely rare in this day and age.”

“You know you could have been more helpful,” Inuyasha frowned. He’d already told Kagome that much.

“Perhaps you should be more specific, little brother.”

“We want to know if it’s real –”

“Do I look like a magi –”

Touga cleared his throat, ending the argument before it could get started. “What our daughter-in-law has in her possession is in fact one of the Sacred Jewels,” he spoke calmly. “It doesn’t matter how she came to be its owner. What does matter is that she has one of the most precious gifts the sea has to offer.”

Inuyasha crossed his arms, looking put out by that statement. “I’m her husband!”

“You’re second most precious,” Sesshomaru snickered.

“You’re my number one,” Kagome told Inuyasha. He perked up after that.

“Alright, the most precious gift the sea has to offer…that doesn’t have a pulse.” Touga rubbed his forehead, looking pained that he had to amend his comments in the first place. When he looked up at Kagome again, he nodded to the necklace in her hands. “That stone holds a very unique ability. If you wear it in the ocean, you will be granted the gift of the merfolk.”

[hiddenbeks]

ocs as types of suffering + tragic love archetypes

tagged by @hibernationsuit to do a couple quizzes for some ocs, thank u red!!

tagging @narrayya @grimhygge @famewolf @abetterbeginning to do one or both of the quizzes if u want to, no pressure! suffering quiz here, tragic love quiz here <3

did the first quiz for my da girls:

ANDRALE MAHARIEL - yearning

"the pain in your chest bubbles knowing that what you want may never be yours. You're lost in a fantasy world, or consumed by what you wish you were or had as opposed to what you do. it's hard to appreciate what's around you when you're appreciating the hope of what could be instead."

yknow i often consider andrale my most well adjusted oc. she had a relatively stable childhood with friends and loving family. and despite developing a resentment of the world that hates her people as she grows older and desiring a world where things are different she's still mostly satisfied with her life? but this all changes after she becomes a warden. the first months are especially difficult as she's still in denial about her fate and the fact that she's never going back to her old life and indeed yearns for all that she has lost. she eventually learns to live again and enjoy her new life as best she can but she will always carry that sadness and regret and longing with her i think. you may see her happy and content one moment and the next she's staring blankly at nothing, lost in her memories of simpler days.

FRIDA HAWKE - self inadequacy

"you crack under the weight of your own perceived inability. how can you be enough for anyone else when you're just barely enough for yourself? insecurity causes you to have little backbone, and so you fail to reach your full potential when it comes to what you're best at. you sabotage opportunities with fear you'll fail before you've begun. it hurts to never feel like your best is enough, but setting your standards too high or too low ensures it."

i was fully expecting to get 'the giver' as a result for frida but this is accurate too! she never believes she is enough as a daughter or big sister or stand-in parent to the twins or champion or. anything. poor gal believes it's her job to carry the weight of the world and blames herself for not being or doing enough when she inevitably fails. oof

CELYN SURANA - loneliness

"your heart feels full of the connection you feel you lack. no matter how many people are around, strangers or not... someone is missing. you don't know who, what, or if you'll ever find them. you're unsure if there's a person out there who'll really satisfy your life, so really what's the point of continuing to look?"

hmm! celyn was indeed lonely at the circle save for jowan but i have to wonder if it was her own doing. though to be fair i doubt the circle fosters an environment supportive of making friends and forming genuine connections. and obviously the fact that it's partly her own doing doesn't make it any less painful. anyway. celyn put friendships aside in favor of studying and being The Very Best, hoping that advancement in the circle would bring her at least a tiny bit of autonomy and respect. this all leads to a hopeless loop of "i'm lonely and want friends" "don't know how to make friends so i won't even try". she slowly gets better after leaving the circle when andrale and friends coax/force her out of her shell because they need to work togetheeerrr. there's no team-building exercise quite like the blight and the impending end of the world am i right haha

anyway next up some tragic love:

ISABEAU MONET - caníbales; devourer

"love's a knife to skin to you, a vein to woven muscle, blood puddle before you. you listened to all the promises of a stranger's relief and feel the drain of a shower head running it all down again. you committed another murder; kissed and bruised skin with a clench to a quivering wrist and went home in the deafening quiet of a taxi. there's mold covered rage within you. if to take a heart home with you, you'd bite your way through muscle and ribcage first. pleasure comes, but there will be no devouring past it. there is fear in settling down and being seen. there is a glass screen between these bodies and you. relax your tight jaw and feel the real canine fear beneath that scabbed up cavity. the sacrifice of opening up is needed if to be loved as you deeply wish inside. desire doesn't discriminate between hands and spoken word. why should you?"

wowie!! i rarely get serious about isabeau because she's mostly a fun and sexy menace and has convinced even me that that's all there is to her but like. i shouldn't forget that she too is damaged underneath it all 😔 what twenty years of emotional neglect and lack of support from parents does to a gal...

[roseianxiety]

Always You

Summary:

As a young boy, Virgil often swooped in to save his geeky and timid childhood best friend, Roman, from his bullies. After years have passed without seeing each other, his friend has come home from abroad and now a completely different person than before, and ready to sweep Virgil off his feet. Virgil, of course, falls head over heels for the other.

AO3 - Part 1, Part 2

Content Warning: Swearing, Food mention, Medication mention, slight innuendo

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter Two

"So your old friend now turned hottie just came back from Italy is the reason why you skipped work yesterday? I didn't expect that from you, Virgil, but get it I guess."Remy, Virgil's co-worker, stated with a smirk.

Virgil groaned as he face palmed in embarrassment, "Fucking hell, Remy. Don't say it like that!".

They were chilling behind the counter, waiting for a customer to arrive and order something or whatever. The cafe was relatively quiet, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"Plus, that's not even the reason. I wanted to help mom with housework."Virgil sighs as he leans against the counter, resting his chin on his wrist.

"Speaking of which, how's your mom doing by the way?"Remy questions curiously. Virgil shrugs, "She's been doing well recently, though sometimes she gets really ill so I have to be there with her all the time.". He explains.

"Oof.. That sucks, babes, but I'm sure she appreciates having you there for her anyways."Remy assures him with a sympathetic grin.

Virgil chuckles weakly in response, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does.". He pauses before adding, "Anyway, I have to call mom to check on her.". Virgil says before heading to the break room as he pulls out his phone.

•=•

He dialed his mother's number once he reached the breakroom and waited a moment until she picked up. When she answered, Virgil greeted, "Hey mom! How are you feeling?".

"Hello, dear. I'm doing alright, a little bit tired though but nothing unusual. How about you?"His mother answers cheerfully before saying, "Well, I actually had to ask you something...".

"I'm doing alright, not much work going on here. And yeah, what is it? Do you need anything for me to buy?"Virgil queries. His mother hummed before answering, "Well, actually yes, can you buy me my medications once you get home? The ones here are almost finished.".

"Yeah, no problem! Anything else you want?"Virgil replies as he fiddles with the ribbon of his apron.

"Actually, could you also do some grocery shopping? I can't do it since my knees are hurting terribly. I hope I'm not bothering you a lot, sweetie.".

Virgil smiles softly, "Not at all, I wouldn't mind taking care of that stuff myself.". His mother let out a relieved sigh, "Thank you, dear. You're heaven sent. I'll send you the list of the things you have to buy.".

Virgil hummed in confirmation, "Sure thing, mom. Anyway, I have to go back to work now, take care and rest well. Love you, mom.".

"Love you too, dear. Bye!".His mother responded.

Virgil hung up and walked out of the break room. As soon as he got out, he heard Remy chatting with someone, probably a customer, about something.

"–You look good. Do you work out?~"Remy purred. Gosh, is he flirting with a customer again??

"Yes, I do it quite often."

Virgil stiffened slightly when he realized who that voice belonged to. When he finally arrived at the counter, his guess was right. It was Roman.

Roman noticed him walking towards them, and flashed a friendly smile, "Hi there, Virgil. What are you doing here?"He greeted. Virgil gave him a shy wave and mumbled, "Hey, Roman. Uhm, I work here.".

Roman's eyes lit up and grinned brightly, "Really? That's awesome!"He exclaimed. Virgil smiled back shyly at him, his cheeks turning slightly rosy. Roman seemed oblivious to this however as he continued speaking, "Am I bothering you?–".

Virgil shook his head and quickly interrupted him. "Nonono, you're fine. Really, the café is not busy as you can see.". Virgil said, gesturing and the empty place.

"Anyway, what did you order—"

"I already got his order. I'll leave you two while I go make his order."Remy interrupts as he turns on his heel and walks away but not before winking at Virgil playfully.

Virgil blushed heavily and cleared his throat awkwardly before looking back at Roman. "So, uh, what's up?"He said, trying hard not to seem too awkward around the other man.

"I went to find some college to transfer in and I got accepted in that college nearby. Grazie a Dio."Roman explained with a bright grin.

"That's so cool, what's your course by the way?"Virgil asked as he leaned closer towards Roman.

"Film."Roman replied, showing off a confident grin.

"As expected from you,"Virgil said, smiling widely. Roman smiles and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. After a few moments of comfortable silence between the two of them, Remy was finally done making Roman's coffee.

"Here's your raspberry frappuccino and strawberry cake pop, Roman."Remy announces as he sets them down on the counter top in front of Roman. "Oh, thank you. How much is all of these?"Roman inquired.

"8 dollars and 45 cents."Remy responds nonchalantly.

Roman nodded and pulled out his wallet and took out ten dollars before handing it to Remy. "Keep the change."He says with a smile.

Remy simply stared at him in disbelief but took the money regardless, putting it in the cash register.

"Anyway, I have to go now. See ya later, Virge. And goodbye to you, Remy, it was nice chatting with you too."Roman says before grabbing his drink and cake pop as he heads to the door.

Remy chirps waving at him, "Byee, Roman.".

"Yeah, goodbye, Princey."Virgil calls out which causes Roman to halt momentarily before turning around to face Virgil. Roman smiles lopsidedly at him, "It's been a while since you called me that.". He finally exited the café but not after waving at the two men.

Virgil simply waved back in reply and a small smile planted on his lips.

"You look so smitten it's adorable."

Virgil snapped his head to glare softly at Remy who only smirked at him. "Shut up, Remy." Virgil grumbles softly.

Remy pouted jokingly before chuckling. "Babes, why didn't you tell me your childhood friend was HOT hot? He is eye candy and that herculean body of his is fire! Would smash."Remy gushes about Roman.

Virgil cringes at Remy's comment causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance. "Oh my gosh, Remy. You're disgusting.".

Remy grins and wiggles his eyebrows at Virgil teasingly, "What? Are you jealous I might steal him from you?~". He teased and winked at him again.

Virgil rolled his eyes yet still a light red blush dusted his cheeks as he quickly retorted defensively. "What!? No! You can have him for yourself or whatever."He huffed.

"Aw come on, Viiiiiirgieeee~! We all know that's a lie~".

Virgil sighs deeply and mutters under his breath, "I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I will shove your face into the nearest trash can.".

Remy merely snickers and sticks his tongue out at Virgil, causing the latter to huff and cross his arms stubbornly. "Anyway, you deal with the customers while I clean up the place."The sunglasses-wearing employee says, patting Virgil on the shoulder before walking away from him to clean the tables.

Virgil just lets out another defeated groan, not wanting to deal with the customers but he knew that he'd have to. He was always the one dealing with them anyways.

•=•

Virgil grunted as he struggled carrying two bags of groceries as they were filled up almost completely to the brim. He cursed himself internally as he waddled his way to his house, trying to stop the bags from slipping out of hands.

"Do you need help with that?"A voice behind him called out, startling him. Virgil looked behind him to meet brown eyes staring intently into his own.

"No thank you, I can handle this just fine."He murmured softly and turned back around, hoping the Roman would leave him alone but he didn't.

"Are you sure? They look really heavy."Roman said, stepping a little bit closer and eyeing the bags carefully. Virgil sighed.

"Look, I'm pretty sure I can carry these all alone."he muttered and moved away from him a little bit.

Roman pouted as he stood there looking conflicted, clearly thinking of whether he should continue talking to him or just leave him alone.

Virgil's eye twitched as Roman pouts, unable to resist anymore. He gives up after a moment of hesitation and looks at the Roman. "Ughh, fine. Just carry this one bag for me."Virgil says exasperatedly while holding out one of the grocery bags to Roman.

Roman gratefully accepts it, smiling happily at the smaller male. Virgil blushes lightly and averts his gaze away from Roman.

They walked to Virgil's house in comfortable silence. Neither of them spoke nor attempted to. When they reached Virgil's doorstep, the older man decided to break the silence.

"I'll take it from here Roman. Uhm, thanks by the way."Virgil said as he unlocked the door and opened it. Roman nods and carefully places the grocery bag down.

"You can go home now... Good night, Princey."Virgil finishes as he opens the door, glancing at Roman.

"Yeah, good night too, Virgil."Roman replies, smiling warmly at him. Virgil nods at him one last time before carrying the grocery bags inside, while does that, he hears Roman mutter something softly to him, but he couldn't hear it clearly enough for him to understand.

And as soon as he came back to close the door, Roman was already gone before he could question what the other muttered.

•=•

Roman entered his room, it was the same room he used to share with his brother back then, it was still filled with some of their old stuff. He still wasn't done unpacking his boxes and cleaning the house. The only part he was done cleaning was the kitchen, bathroom and the living room where he was currently sleeping on the last few days.

He starts going through the old boxes he found in the attic, he guesses it was his old toys and books that they left here. And it indeed was. Well, there were some framed pictures and photo albums there too. Now he's questioning why it's been left here or were they forgotten.

Roman flips through the photo album curiously, flipping past old pictures of him and his brother when they were kids, some were family photos and photos of their parents.

It's been a while since he saw these, he felt a pang of melancholy or nostalgia just hit him like a truck. He was happy to see these, happier than ever actually. But he still felt sadness wash over him. It brought back memories of simpler times. Memories of days long past he thought about every single day since then. Oh how he wished to go back in time.

Roman stops flipping the pages when he comes across a certain photograph. He took it out from the plastic sleeve to observe it closer.

It was a picture of a smaller and chubbier boy next to a slightly taller boy, both of them grinning to their ears as they stood side by side. They were in their swimming trunks, seeming as if they just got out of the water, looking happy as ever.

A smile crept onto Roman's face at the memory. It was the summer of 2010, the last time where young Roman and Virgil got to hangout together. The time where everything began to change for the both of them.

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Writing Taglist: @cutebisexualmess (please tell me if you want to be added or removed in the tag list)