#had to change that asap
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wormtime123 · 1 year ago
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spare skyblings? spare skyblings ?
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ravenatural-art · 2 years ago
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4 years since change your mind aired!! here’s an anniversary art
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fruitypat00ti3 · 2 months ago
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PHEW finally done,,thank you to those who submitted their toons for this mini project of mine - Enjoy! 🎃🍬🍭
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ʚ・ ───────────────────────────・ ɞ
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problemswithbooks · 23 days ago
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On Stella (Helluva Boss)
The fandom fights a lot over Stella and how she's written. Fans who like the way she is presented say it's fine that she's a one-dimensional 'evil queen' trope. It's not bad writing that she's so shallow and one note--some villains are better that way.
That isn't an inherently wrong statement. Some of the most fun villains are shallow, evil, for evil's sake types. Unfortunately, I don't think Stella works as this type of villain for a multitude of reasons.
Reason 1: Stella's 'evil' trait is at odds with the themes of the show.
Stella's primary evil trait is that she's cruel to Stolas simply because she likes being cruel to him. She's abusive and hates him. That, by itself isn't the problem. The problem is that the story isn't about Stolas being in an abusive relationship--it's primarily about two people from two different classes, and how they have to become better people and change in order to have the loving relationship they both want.
Yes, Stolas being in a past abusive relationship could be a hurtle to his growth as a character and him being in a relationship with Blitz, but the show never goes there even when it could. Stolas is not shown as being triggered by Blitz's yelling at him. In Apology Tour he has no issues fighting back and telling Blitz off, ordering him to leave. Blitz's yelling and more aggressive attitude isn't what leads to their misunderstandings, where Blitz accidentally hurts Stolas by reminding him of Stella's abuse.
Instead, Stella's abuse isn't even touched on in any major way, and does nothing to move the plot forward or cause connected drama between the two leads. Yes, she hires Striker to kill Stolas and that does at times cause problems, but she didn't need to be abusive inorder to explain why she'd want Stolas dead. In a world where assassins and murder is around every corner, it'd make just as much sense for Stella to hire Striker because Stolas cheated, and it made her a laughingstock among her high class friends.
I'd even argue her abuse makes the story make less sense. We know, from Stolas's own admission, that once his daughter was born, their marriage wasn't necessary. He claims he stayed to give Octavia a normal life, but if Stella is as volatile as she's shown, why would he think Via being around her was a good idea? If Stella had been less outwardly antagonistic and instead more cold and standoffish, with the both of them having mostly separate lives, intersected by polite, if strained family interactions when around Via, then him staying would make sense.
One of the reasons I think more people wanted Stella to be a caring mother to Octavia was because it explains why her and Stolas were still married despite her constant abuse towards him. If Stella cared about Via, and they were close, Stolas would be not only reluctant to leave but to let their false pretense of 'happy couple' slip in front of Via, since both would hurt her. It also would make Octavia's choice to stay with Stella and her anger at Stolas hold more weight, and give Via more complicated emotions. She'd really love her mom, but be confronted with the fact she hurt her father, who she also loves. As it is, it's pretty clear to see that as soon as Octavia finds out Stella is pure evil, she'll easily go back to Stolas with very little if any internal conflict.
Reason 2: Vivziepop claims she's not a one-dimensional character.
A really huge issue with Stella being presented as a one note bitch, is because the creator herself claims she's not. In an interview, Vivzie says Stella is like Beatrice Horseman from BoJack Horseman, saying that at some point we will see things from her perspective.
The problem with this is that Stella has already been portrayed too negatively and flat for this to work. Beatrice worked because, while yes she was awful to Bojkack, she also had Alzheimer's which gained her some sympathy points, as did the way Hollyhock cared for her. She also wasn't always over the top horrible to Bojack, being more passive-aggressive and neglectful.
On top of that, despite her abuse toward BoJack, particularly when he was growing up, she wasn't framed as the reason for all of BoJack's issues. He was still responsible for his own shitty actions as an adult, and when he retaliated toward her, like tossing the baby doll off the balcony, it was framed as shitty behavior. More than anything, their interactions said more about BoJack than Beatrice. Him trying to hurt her, by throwing away her baby doll or putting her in the shittiest nursing home he could find was to show how BoJack wishes he could retaliate against his mother for all the things she did to him, but it leaves him feeling hollow because he knows that due to her disease she's not aware of who he is. It's meaningless, doesn't help him get any closure.
Stella is not presented as anything other than over the top abusive in every scene she's in. Nothing in the show suggests she's anything besides violent, even going so far as having her choking dogs in a childhood picture. Nor is Stolas's treatment of her supposed to reflect on him or characterize him. The only time it might is when he ignores Via because he's too caught up fighting with on the phone, but again, it's not given much focus and he doesn't reflect on it. The same goes for the cheating--yes, Stella was abusive and he doesn't necessarily owe her anything, but Stolas refuses to acknowledge that what he did clearly upset Stella, both times he talks about it asserting that he knows he didn't hurt her. No, they weren't in love, but cheating is still degrading, and Stella is obviously upset. Frankly, I think it would have made more sense for Stolas to rub that fact in her face--he has no issue insulting her, as we see later in that conversation. Instead, his continued assurance that he didn't hurt her or do anything wrong feels like the writers talking through the character, afraid watchers will judge Stolas to harshly otherwise.
Stella getting the Beatrice treatment will likely fail because there is nothing to soften the audience toward her even a little. She has been presented as Stolas's tormentor and nothing else. There are flashes of possible sympathy for her when she interacts with her brother, but for the most part they're framed as Andre being right and Stella being stupid, rather than Stella possibly being manipulated and used by her brother.
It also will fall flat because unless her background is another showcase of how even the upper class are hurt by the system, and this leads to something either story or character wise for the main cast, then there is no point to bring it up. The point of Beatrice's story was to show how generational trauma seeps down into the next generation. BoJack doesn't even have to know about it for it to reflect on his character and explain why he is the way he is. He and his mother parallel each other, where they start out as innocent children but through their parents mistakes, they grow up into cynical, bitter adults who both feel as if they've wasted their lives.
Reason 3: To many villains.
Stella has taken a backseat in her own villain story to her brother, who, just like Stella, is simply evil (he's even characterized as a catty bitch, just like she is, except less of a yeller). It's true Andre wants power, whereas Stella wants...well nothing really, just Stolas dead I guess, but for the most part they are nearly the same. Andre is just a better written version of Stella since he actually gets to make plans and have an end goal.
Once Andre gets introduced, Stella is redundant because she offers nothing different and in fact offers less to the story overall. If Stella was going to be a flat, evil for evil’s sake villain, she and Andre should have been combined. It would have made far more sense to have Stella be a bit smarter and be the one plotting to get Stolas's power. It also would have made the court scenes more impactful because Stella would be a character that was established far earlier, and who we know is a major threat to Stolas, since she's the one that hired Striker to torture and kill him.
If Andre was going to be the main big bad for Stolas, then Stella needed to offer something different. Generally the underling under the main villain is more sympathetic, and less evil, as a way to showcase how much worse the main bad guy is. Or they're more charismatic and show up far more than the main bad guy, like Azula and Ozai. As it is, Stella is neither. She shows up just as little as her brother, and does far less.
And, while Vivzie is a woman herself, I do find the handling of Stella to have mysoginistic undertones, mainly that since her brother has shown up, she is constantly shown as stupid, and that her only good quality is her looks--things her brother constantly brings up, but are not framed as shitty on his part. Them being essentually the same charater make this look all the worse, since Andre, as I've said, didn't need to be a charater at all, and Stella could have been the main villain instead. To pretty much sideline a female charater in order to introduce a male charater that fills the same roll is not the best. Just like racisuim, sexisuim doesn't have to be done purposfly, and I don't blame anyone who finds this choice to be sexist.
Then there's Striker.
Another reason I think Stella and Andre should have been combined. Striker worked really well as the side antagonist under the main villain. He's the one we see more of, he's more charismatic and has hints of a generally interesting backstory, one that we know would fit into the theme the show has of class issues. He's a mirror of what Blitz could have turned into, while Stella could be presented as Stolas's opposite. Even their work relationship could be a dark mirror of Blitz and Stolas's real love for one another.
As it is, Striker is under two other villains, one of which has become essentially unless to the story (Stella can't do anything Andre can't at this point, especially since her and Via aren't shown to have a close relationship). This reduces his threat level and reduced his screen time since he now has to share it with another character. We can see this in the newest episode, where we get a scene where Andre is talking to Stella and then Striker appears later at the trial with no explanation. If Andre and Stella were combined, that scene could have been Stella going over the plan with Striker instead. This would have helped Striker's character, since as it is, his appearance at the trial is confusing. Maybe he's just out for himself and his selfishness won out over his hate of Royals, maybe he was blackmailed, maybe he was so furious and his pride wounded so much by Blitz he'd do anything to bring him down, maybe it's a combination of all three. We don't know because we aren't given the set up. Is it cool that Striker was a suprise? Sure, but in this case it wasn't worth not showing the charater's reason for doing something that seems to go agasint his own charaterization.
Reson 4: Threat.
One of the main reasons to have a simply evil villain is so the can be incredibly menicing. The Aundence doesn't have to feel anything but fear for the protagonists and hate for the villain. They pose no deep moral question, and it feels great when they're beaten.
Despite being a major villain we never see her threat felt by the protagonists. Take her abuse of Stolas. We see her go to hit him and he catches her hand easily and tells her off without issue. Stolas has no problem standing up to Stella ever. In The entire show Stolas is never portayed as afraid of Stella.
Contrast this with how Moxxie and Crimson interact. Yes, sometimes Moxxie does stand up to his father, but we are shown how terrified he is of Crimson multiple times during the one episonde they interact. In comparison Stella's actions never make Stolas even worried. The most we see is him doging things when she throws things at him, but he doesn't seem genuinly afraid, and it's forgoten as soon as she leaves.
He insults her over the phine, insults her to her face. When he learns she hired Striker we arent shown him suddenly relize he underestimated her and become afraid. He instead he's more conserned with his reletionship with Blitz and getting him a crystal. Stolas never tells Blitz about Stella, so we don't even know how Blitz feels about how she treated him.
It's hard for a pure eveil villain to work when only one charater even seems to know they exist and they aren't even worried about offending them. The only way this could work is if Stella pretended to be nice most of the time, but was secretly ploting, like Scar in the Lion King. Instead she's framed as this force of nature, pure bitch, who torments Stolas, yet Stolas doesn't even show anxiaty when having to meet with her, something we know he's prone too because he shuts himself in the refrigerator when contemplating his confession to Blitz ending badly.
If the writers want Stella to be evil--make her evil. Let her be powerful and scary. Have Stolas fintch at her voice, show flashbacks of her hitting him, let her win arguments and verbally tear Stolas down. Make her smart enough to plan things on her own.
I think when alot of people say Stella is a badly written charater it's not nessesarily because they wanted her to be good, or complex. I don't see alot of people angry at how Mother Gothel was written (besides her deisgn being anti-semetic) or Maleficent. It's possible to write evil, one-dimensional female villains. The issue is that even as an evil bitch, Stella falls short in a mutitupe of ways. Her charater is a complete waste, even more so now that her brother has been introduced. She has no reason to exist and serves no narritive purpose. Even as a raod block to the Stolas/Blitz ship she isn't nessesaey because their main issue is the class systum. Stella could have been dead before the show started, leaving Stolas with Via for drama, and Andre could be the evil uncle trying to get Stolas's power.
Stella is pretty much a sexy lamp, execpt the sexy lamp is also a bitch. She's less affective then the random bitch charaters introduced in romatic webtoon comics that are only there to be mean to the main charater and try to steal her man. Stella's not badly written because she's pure evil and simple, she's badly written because she doesn't serve a purpose in the story and could be replaced with a sexy, evil lamp.
#helluva boss#Stella Goetia#helluva boss stella#helluva boss critical#helluva boss striker#idk#Stella is an interesting character because she really feels like a remnate of a first draft#like i feel like her and her bro would be combined asap if helluva was made a live action show or something#and if she had to stay change her from simply wanting to be mean because lolz#and more because she loathes stolas for cheating with an imp#i mean fans say thats one of her reasons#but it's not actually touched on past a few insults#like playing up her classism would really help make her fit with themes of the show more#i also think her being abusive sort of makes Stolas's half of the show a bit lopsided#like i wish she was more like Verosika because then Stolas could learn something from his past relationship like Blitz did#as it is all of Stella's critisizuims of Stolas are presented as her being a petty abusive bitch#which makes it harder for Stolas to get good advice on how to be a better partner#because none of the toxic stuff from his only relationship was his fault#even when I think there are some things that could have been used#like his habit of just not listening to other people#he does this with Via#and he does it to Stella#aka he doesn't even notice shes ordering a hit on him at the table#its played for laughs but Stolas's lack of paying attention to people#is shown alot#even with Blitz#like when he doesn't notice how much Blitz hates his nicknames#even though he's really vocal about it#idk i think it would have been nice if Stella could have told him that#in the same way Verosika was able to tell Blitz how he fucked up during their relationship
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ilyfynn · 2 months ago
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its a beautiful life. fynn hits 100k written this year. it's been a long journey and i thank everyone who has ever even clicked onto a work of mine. its difficult, sometimes, being stupid and a writer simultaneously. ignore the low numbers im a small fandom writer and i have a nother account ok
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similarly, my mcsrtober also reached 1k hits which makes it my first fic with 1k hits yay thank you <3
highlights below. im gonna ramble ofc i am
swallow's mate. yeah its not the longest fic ever but i put so much time and effort and i am so so so so so so so proud of it and will always be. the world is a river of crackling chaos and i am the vengeance that simmers inside it
hiraeth. YES I WILL FINISH IT ONE DAY. ITS GOT REALLY NICE LORE. being the first bigger project i've tried to write since i unretired from mcsr, i adored being able to a) worldbuild and b) WRITE IN CHAPTERS. its so hard to write fics in one go my patience wears itself out
lappel du vide. you know nothing about lappel yet. you know nothing, but the plan was like 4k words and now you know something. boy do i have things planned for these stupid ranked runners. the darkness came when doogile was just a boy, after all
mcsrtober. im not as proud of my mcsrtober because i like editing things over and over and over again and mcsrtober simply doesnt allow the time for that. however i think i cooked really hard on some of the prompts and the ones yet to come (peepocute banger one on the 26th i think). like day 2. a full-on 4+1 fic. beautiful
there's a lot to come, i think. theres so many thoughts and not enough time to express them, and im only going to get more and more busy from now on. it's going to be walright. you know, theres a cool thing called a winter big bang, and the word count is projected to be around 18k...and its a oneshot...........................
then i can retire from writing longfics in one go and go back to chaptered becuase WOW chaptered is easier. AHHHHHHH
thank you for reading. this and all my fics. thank you @goober890 (i would be a liar if i didnt say i tried to tag ur ao3 😭) for being the first ever member of the fynn fanclub. thank you @bioluminescentfrog for putting up with me through the whole process of the fics to come. its been - not quite a long journey, but an eventful one all the same. from one mongey to another, i salute all of you.
i
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niightfiend · 18 days ago
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A P-1000 drawing to soothe the soul bc they’re so cute as a robot 🥺♥️🍌
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mechawolfie · 1 year ago
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had a sudden thought like ok what if I made a laikas comet oc and he was a dhole.. so I did that 👍🏾 his name is tucker
edit: ok I gave him colors
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mcraftdoodles · 6 months ago
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Leakskall in today's stream...
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yuus-sentient-teddy · 8 months ago
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"You've been staring at me for a while. What are you thinking?" Chaco turns the rest of his body so that he's now sitting fully facing you.
"I don't trust you," you declare simply. That was you, wasn't it? Not one to beat around the bush and carrying yourself like a school teacher, all proper and head held high. But there was a whimsical air around you that anyone who spent plenty of time with you would notice, and he has spent plenty. Put simply, you were like a character from a dramatic comedy. The seeming straight, no-nonesense friend with a soft and caring heart.
He quirks a brow and leans forward. "Oh? Why is that?"
"You smile too much," you say, folding your hands on the table and also leaning forward. "And your smiles are too perfect. I'm willing to bet that you're hiding something. No one can smile always perfectly."
"But what if that's how I am? Besides, there's always something to smile about. Like our lord."
Unwillingly, your lips pull up into a smile. "Can't argue with that," you concede. "But then, what else are you thinking that makes you smile?"
"Have you always been this curious about me? Can't get me out of your thoughts?" he teases.
"Yes. You're very interesting." Another simple declaration from you, the whimsical, no-beating-around-the-bush you. You even bob your head in a nod!
The almost deadpan delivery makes him want to laugh, but at the same time, he feels his cheeks start to warm. So, to hide the fluster, he lets out that laugh and rests his chin in his palm. "You know, I could say the same for you too. You're not like most of the other skaters here. If anything, you and Tuxedo Sam's Fragaria might get along."
"No offense to him, but no thanks."
That makes him laugh, much harder than before. He actually turns his body so he could double over, which causes him to miss your satisfied smile and small giggle. Once he's done laughing, he says, "The others are going to love hearing that. Say, did you know you can get a special type of ice cream down the street?"
"I knew it! This is banana ice cream!"
Chaco just smiles as he bites into his spoonful.
"You said there was a special type of ice cream sold here, but this flavor is common," you say.
"Take another bite," he says.
You narrow your eyes and stare at him for a second too long before taking another bite. Your eyes then widen. "Oh! There's a frozen banana slice in here."
"And that's what makes this ice cream special. The other parlors in the area don't have this trait, see?"
You mull it over, taking another bite of ice cream, and nod. "Mmyeah."
And that's how things are between the two of you. Whenever he suggests something, you would take his word for it. Of course, it was not without staring at him for a second too long, as though you could parse the truth out of him by searching his grey eyes. Despite "tricking" you many times (always harmless tricks, mind you), you never backed down.
That brings us to now: the two of you sitting on swing sets staring at the dawning sky, after Chaco said he knew of a quiet place with a great view of the sunrise.
"A while ago, you said you didn't trust me," he says. "Do you still not trust me?"
"Yes."
The way the answer is delivered so whimsically serious makes his smile genuine. "But you still hang out with me. Shouldn't you be more wary?"
"Yes, but if I'm too wary, I wouldn't be able to get to the bottom of what exactly is making you untrustworthy."
How paradoxical, he thinks. Not to mention, it was dangerous of you explain your plan so plainly to the very person you wanted to know more of.
The strangeness of you was so amusing just as it made you so endearing.
"So far, I've figured out that you like pulling friendly and clever pranks, and that you're not entirely untrustworthy. As a Fragaria, you would have the want to protect your lord and the kingdom, but even if you weren't, I can't see you as someone who enjoys hurting people. Whenever we hang out, nothing malicious happens."
"But what if the next thing we do does hurt you?"
"You wouldn't want it to happen and you wouldn't let it. That's not you. Besides, I'd be disappointed. I look forward to whatever silly surprise you have for me."
Chaco considers this. "So you hang out with me because you look forward to that?"
"That's half of it. The other half is that it's just very nice hanging out with you, even if we don't do anything exciting." You pause for a moment to admire the changing hue of the sky. "Like now."
The sun is now beginning to peek over the trees. Chaco immediately thinks of how perfect you look smiling under the golden light.
He likes gullible people, but you are a very special and very interesting exception.
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killa-trav · 2 years ago
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ferrari boys on pole; baku edition ☝️
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surrealisticduvet · 2 months ago
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jack kerouac -> secret catholic who self identified as buddhist
michael nesmith -> secret buddhist who self identified as christian
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jrueships · 5 months ago
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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vampirebebop · 2 years ago
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KB literally ripping his shirt to shreds
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themandylion · 8 months ago
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Chapters: 7/9 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Bruce Wayne, Colin Wilkes, Background & Cameo Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Tim Drake is Not a Batfamily Member, Civilian Tim Drake, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Scars, Roommates, Notfic, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Orphaned Tim Drake, Marriage of Convenience Summary:
Tim gives him an incredulous look. "Is this really the way you guys do things? I'm sorry, but do you really think it's okay to marry someone you barely know and create an entire person—a baby, one that's going to need someone to look after it for 18 years or longer—just for money?!"
"That's not…" Jason makes a frustrated sound. "Look, you're 19, right? We can talk about the intentional baby acquisition when you're legally old enough to drink. By then we'll know if our marriage can sustain a child. But I think it's worth a try."
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After civilian Tim Drake gets trapped in the Bat Cave following multiverse shenanigans, he enters an arrangement with the crime lord Red Hood in an effort to gain access to a trust fund with some very particular requirements.
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In this chapter: Gotham being Gotham, of course there are some hiccups. (Or: Tim faces his biggest fear.)
Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | all
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binders-and-beanies · 7 months ago
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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friendlifyre · 9 months ago
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iiii kinda wanna change my name
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