#had a look around my room and it doesn't LOOK like anything can get IN my room but NNNNNNNNNNNNNOPE

[thehoneybeestings]

Sevika w/ a Partner who has PMDD

Word count: 2.8k

Content/Warnings: afab reader (no pronouns used), descriptions of PMDD and its symptoms, sevika gets a gnarly wound but nothing graphic, slightly suggestive (for one sentence), acts of service is sooo sevika's love language, this ended up being way longer than your average headcanon i got carried away i'm sorry!

A/N: Naturally, my very first post is completely and utterly self-indulgent… I suffer from PMDD and decided one day amid my demise that I wanted some sevika comfort! So here you are, and I hope you enjoy and that this serves as a bit of escape from whatever may be giving you a hard time (and that if you're a fellow PMDD sufferer, you remember to be extra gentle with yourself when you're feeling low. You've got this! You're a superhero in my book!). 

Love, Bee ୨ৎ

୨ৎ Sevika knows that you have PMDD before you tell her

୨ৎ In fact, she knows before you two are even considered friends, nevertheless together

୨ৎ Sevika is extremely receptive; it's practically her job to be

୨ৎ Being Silco's second-hand puts her in charge of everyone out on the field, and she is constantly gauging the team's strengths and weaknesses so that she can ensure operations are always running as smoothly as possible

୨ৎSo it goes without saying that when you start working for Silco as an assassin, it doesn't take her long to familiarize herself with the way your disposition ebbs and flows, and seemingly, at the same time every month

୨ৎ This isn't to say that your performance suffers at all- certainly not; you're one of the team's most skilled assassins, and you've always made sure that your disorder doesn't impact your work

୨ৎ But again, it's Sevika's job to be receptive

୨ৎ She first puts together that around the 6th of every month, you come in looking particularly exhausted

୨ৎ Dark circles can be seen under your heavy eyes, and your feet never seem to stop dragging no matter how many cups of coffee you nurse; and during this time, it's an excessive amount

୨ৎ She also notices that during this time period- which usually lasts about 10 days- your fuse is extremely short

୨ৎ When Ran comes up to tease you at the coffee machine about how "you look like you haven't slept in five years", you turn to give them a look that even she can admit is terrifying

୨ৎ "Yeah?" you begin, cocking an eyebrow at them, “I've got boiling hot coffee in my fucking hand right now, Ran.”

୨ৎ They're quick to throw their hands up in surrender and back away, making the (correct) decision to quit poking the bear

୨ৎ Sevika can't help but crack an amused smile at the interaction from her place across the room

୨ৎ She also can't help but notice that for some reason, you stress to no end about missions that would otherwise be a cakewalk for you during those 10 days

୨ৎ Again, your work never suffers for it, but Sevika knows you're suffering for it

୨ৎ So, she decides that your skills would be better put to use elsewhere for that period of time; and she convinces herself that it isn't an act of kindness, but simply a necessity for the team to perform at its best.

୨ৎ One day, she pulls you into Silco's office to "discuss a change in your involvement on the field," and needless to say, you're shitting yourself

୨ৎ You stand across from her, your heart in your stomach and your hands tucked into your back pockets, because you know if you have access to them, you'll just start biting your fingernails off

୨ৎ "The 6th through the 16th of every month," she begins, sitting on the edge of Silco's desk, “I want you here instead of on the field. No special missions then either, got it?”

୨ৎ At first, your eyebrows knit together in confusion

୨ৎ "The 6th through the...?" You ponder- mostly to yourself- before it hits you like a ton of bricks what those dates are

୨ৎ "Shit, I-I'm so sorry, I can explain; it's just-"

୨ৎ "Woah, woah; slow down," Sevika interrupts, her hand shooting out to signal you to stop, “I didn't say you had anything to explain, and I certainly didn't say you had anything to apologize for.” 

୨ৎ A wave of relief washes over you, but the confusion remains. What was this about then, if not a decrease in performance?

୨ৎ Sevika reads the confusion on your face and begins to answer your unspoken question: “You're always great out there; but on those days, for whatever reason, I can tell it comes at a cost. So from now on, you won't be out there at all when those days roll around. Can't have my best assassin burnt out; it's not an option.”

୨ৎ She casually shrugs with the last part of her explanation as if she hadn't just demonstrated attentiveness and consideration unlike you'd ever experienced

୨ৎ And you're left speechless at the gesture

୨ৎ You only realize your jaw is on the floor when she clears her throat, an amused smirk playing on her lips

୨ৎ "U-Um, sorry," you stutter, shaking your head in an attempt to snap yourself out of the shock, "I, uh... yeah, I do have a harder time then. I didn't know you'd noticed..."

୨ৎ "Pfft," she scoffs, kicking off of the desk to make her way toward a stack of papers on the chaise next to Silco's desk, "When I have ever not noticed something?"

୨ৎ She should have put her foot in her mouth then and there, because she sure didn't notice the massive fucking crush you'd soon start to develop on her

୨ৎ And it sure would've made things a lot easier if she had, because she was falling for you just as quickly

୨ৎ In the coming months, Sevika had made a point to start checking in on you when the 6th rolled around, and you found that when she wasn't on the field, she was lingering near the desk she'd set up for you to take your place at during your hard weeks

୨ৎ You'd come in looking especially tired one morning- in fact, your eyes were swollen and red like you'd just been crying- and her eyes were on you like a hawk as you trudged over to the desk, slumped into the chair, and ran a hand through your hair before getting started on the paperwork Silco had assigned to you for the week.

୨ৎ "Rough morning?" She inquired, concern written all over her face

୨ৎ You let out a dry chuckle, recalling the 3 hours of sleep you'd gotten the night before, the orange juice you'd spilled all over your white shirt this morning, and the breakfast you couldn't eat because you were sure that any minute you were going to throw up

୨ৎ Rough morning didn't come close to cutting it

୨ৎ Your eyes began to prick with tears before you could help it

୨ৎ "I'm so sick of this shit," you mumble, burying your head in your heads and pressing your palms into your eyelids

୨ৎ You hear her rummaging around, but pay it no mind until she sets something down in front of you

୨ৎ You move your hands away from your face to see a hot drink in front of you; not coffee, but

୨ৎ "Tea?" You ask, your voice small

୨ৎ " 's better for you than coffee," Sevika shrugs, pulling up a chair to sit in front of the desk

୨ৎ She stares intently at you for a few moments, before finally asking the question she'd been mulling over" So, by this shit, you mean..."

୨ৎ "Oh," you chuckle, "Yeah, I guess I never did explain what my problem is..."

୨ৎ You then go on to explain to Sevika what PMDD is, and what a pain in the ass it can be. She listens attentively, her eyes trained on the paperwork in front of you as you explain the insomnia and the fatigue, the anxiety and the overwhelm, the insecurity and the hopelessness; everything that you have the pleasure of dealing with on a regular basis

୨ৎ "Janna," she replies, rubbing her temples. "And you deal with this shit every month?"

୨ৎ "Like clockwork," you reply.

୨ৎ "Yeah, you're a badass for that."

୨ৎ You let out a loud laugh, and a strange sense of relief floods her system

୨ৎ "Wish I felt more like one, but when something as small as spilling orange juice on my shirt makes me wanna jump out of the nearest window... the last thing I feel like is a badass."

୨ৎ Sevika chuckles at this before giving a nod towards your tea; "Should've gotten you coffee, huh?"

୨ৎ "Oh, no!" you're quick to correct, "Just super nauseous today... probably won't be able to stomach anything until dinner time, and that's if I'm lucky."

୨ৎ Sevika's eyes widen, and she would've demanded that you try your best to eat something before then if it weren't for Jinx barging in to announce that she needed Sevika's help "cleaning up a little mess."

୨ৎ (The "mess" was enforcers chasing her down because she'd decided they were the perfect target for testing out her new paintball gun. "you said I should try out less violent forms of self-expression!" she'd say to Sevika...)

୨ৎ She doesn't forget your conversation, though, and you're snapped out of your shitty reality tv binge-watching session by a knock on your apartment door later that evening

୨ৎ Much to your surprise, it's Sevika

୨ৎ With take-out in hand...?

୨ৎ "You can't go all day without eating," she says, sternly.

୨ৎ You laugh incredulously at the fact that she even remembered your offhand mention of not being able to eat, and at the fact that she'd taken it upon herself to show up to your place to do something about it, but open the door wider and step aside to let her in anyway

୨ৎ You don't miss the quick scan she does of your apartment- littered with trinkets and decorations you'd picked up here and there- and the way her face seems to soften in endearment; of course, only for a split second, before she's back to business

୨ৎ "This is the only thing I can keep down when I'm not feeling well," she deadpans, unpacking the plastic bag and placing a large styrofoam cup on your kitchen counter, "Figured it'd be worth a shot to drop some off if it meant you might be able to stomach something today."

୨ৎ "Sevika... you didn't have to go to all this trouble," you say, walking over to meet her at the counter

୨ৎ She just shrugs, of course. "I know. Where are your bowls?"

୨ৎ And so, here you both were, sharing a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup, trying to ignore how whipped you both were for each other

୨ৎ You'd managed to convince her to join you in your reality tv binge-watching session, and despite how annoyed she was pretending to be, you'd gone through three 45-minute episodes already and she still hadn't left

୨ৎ At one point, she'd even forgotten to keep up the disinterested act: "What? Why would she pick Sarah over Lily, they have zero chemistry!"

୨ৎ You'd just quirk an eyebrow at her exclamation, staring her down with a smirk until she finally admitted, "Yeah, yeah, whatever- you got me."

୨ৎ And you'd giggle, and her heart would clench, and she'd get way freaked out, and suddenly,

୨ৎ “Shit. I've gotta go. No doubt the kid has already gotten herself into something else…"

୨ৎ You'd just nod, trying your best to conceal the disappointment you felt as you sent her off.

୨ৎ "Hey," you'd call out softly, just as she was turning to leave, "Thank you. Seriously... this was really helpful. You made my night."

୨ৎ Don't say that, she'd think, not unless you want me to start coming home to you.

୨ৎ " 's no big deal. Just looking out. Night, Y/N."

୨ৎ "G'night, Sevika," you'd smile.

୨ৎ And it'd be another three months before either of you had the guts to confess your feelings

୨ৎ But one night, you're waiting for her to show up to your door, take-out in hand- like she'd taken to doing every month from the 6th to the 16th since the first time she came over; and when she doesn't, there's a pit in your stomach that tells you it isn't simply because she forgot

୨ৎ With emotions already high, you're quick to assume the worst as you throw on some sweatpants, a crewneck, and your sneakers before racing down to the only other place she'd be on a Friday night

୨ৎ You walk up to the bartender on duty at The Last Drop, not bothering to conceal the worry in your voice as you ask if he'd seen Sevika around tonight

୨ৎ "Just went upstairs to Silco's office. Rough mission, must've been. She'll have a pretty scar, that's for sure."

୨ৎ You don't respond; you just dash up the stairs with wide eyes, not bothering to knock before bursting into the office, and sighing in relief at the sight of the grey eyes shooting up to meet your own

୨ৎ But when your eyes catch the deep cut trailing down her tricep and the mess of bloody rags in front of her, you find that your relief is short-lived

୨ৎ "What the hell?!" you'd exclaim, rushing over to help, "Why didn't you call me? I was worried sick about you!"

୨ৎ You were worried about her? Her cheeks would flush, and she'd thank Janna you were too focused on bandaging her arm up to notice

୨ৎ "You don't gotta help me with this shit," she'd protest

୨ৎ "Says the one who feeds me every night my hormones are fucking raging. Like hell I don't have to help, and you fail to consider that maybe I want to."

୨ৎ You're stressed, your adrenaline is pumping, and you've had a killer headache all day, so your words come out harsher than you mean for them to. "I'm sorry," you'd sigh, "I'm not mad at you at all, I'm just-"

୨ৎ You look up to find her smiling down at you, and your heart skips a beat, and you thank your lucky stars she breaks the silence, because you'd completely forgotten what the rest of your sentence was going to be

୨ৎ "Really didn't like this being my first stop after work," she admits, and you don't know why she suddenly sounds so... timid

୨ৎ "I mean... yeah, having to patch yourself up after a mission is never any fun-"

୨ৎ "No, Y/N," she begins, and your eyes shoot up to meet her at the sound of your name on her lips, "I mean... I mean I didn't like that my first stop wasn't you."

୨ৎ And just like it was the last time you'd spoken to her in this office, your heart was in your stomach

୨ৎ "What, you mean you wanted to come home to me or something?" you chuckle nervously, because there's no way in hell that's what she meant

୨ৎ "Yeah, that is what I mean."

୨ৎ Oh.

୨ৎ "You opposed to that or somethin'?"

୨ৎ Absolutely fucking not, says the kiss that you plant on her lips

୨ৎ and the legs thrown over her shoulders later that night (oops)

୨ৎ And now, you thank Janna for the steady presence in your life that is Sevika; especially when you're feeling unsteady

୨ৎ Of course, your symptoms don't just disappear, but it's sure as hell nice to have the support when they make themselves known

୨ৎ When you wake up on the 6th, exhausted and with zero interest in doing anything but laying in bed all day, she'll get the shower running nice and warm, leave a comfy outfit on the counter, and promise that she'll have tea ready when you're done.

୨ৎ She puts herself in charge of meals for the next 10 days, because she knows that your lack of appetite plus your general lack of motivation and energy means you won't end up eating enough if she doesn't make you

୨ৎ When your emotions are high, she's your rock

୨ৎ if you're starting to tear up because you've tried on four outfits already and you "look too bloated in all of them," she'll take your face in her hands, ask you to take a deep breath, and place a kiss on your forehead, reminding you that everything feels a lot bigger than usual right now, and that the only thing you need to worry about is feeling comfortable

୨ৎ If you're getting frustrated because you can't find your damn coat, and your favorite food truck is only in town for another hour, and you snap at her because she dares to suggest that you do, in fact, have other coats, she'll look at you, take a deep breath of her own, and say,

୨ৎ "Okay, baby; what can I do to help?"

୨ৎ And your heart will break, because how is she so good?

୨ৎ You'll apologize-because you always do when you know your emotions got the better of you- and she'll wrap you in a bear hug, and you'll realize that was what you really needed; not your red coat

୨ৎ And you'll make it to the food truck in the nick of time, and you'll probably tear up when you take your first bite, because damn, this cheesesteak is the best thing I've ever tasted, and damn, I don't know what I did to deserve her.

End ୨ৎ

[tobesolonely]

untitled angsty but then sweet piece...

hello guys!! it's been like over a year lol. I was going through my google doc and found this and I feel like I never posted it? so now I am posting it. maybe this can be a part 1 but also we know I'm great at starting multipart stories and not finishing them so lets see

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

warnings: none (~1.2k words)

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

“You're just gonna ignore me then, babe?”

Y/N continues silently puttering around in the kitchen, going out of her way to make sure her back remained turned on Harry. There weren't many ways to get under his skin, but throughout her years of being with him she learned that being on the receiving end of the silent treatment usually made him fold pretty quickly. She was annoyed with her husband and the fact that he seemed clueless as to why made her even more upset.  

“I take your silence as a yes?” 

More puttering. More re-wiping the already clean counters. Starting the tea kettle. Washing her hands. Anything to not acknowledge Harry, really.

“I can’t make it better if you don't tell me why you're so upset, love,” he takes a tentative step toward her. “I know we've been together for ages but I still can't read your mind. Think ‘m gettin’ real close, though.”

This is said jokingly, and she knows her husband is just trying to dissipate the tension that's thick in their kitchen, making the spacious room seem impossibly small. She doesn't acknowledge his joke, doesn't crack a smile because that would give him too much satisfaction. Nothing made Harry cockier than being the reason for Y/N’s laugh, a sound so sweet she’s pretty sure he’d forbid everyone on the planet except him from listening to it because he wanted it all to himself. He always told her it was music to his ears.

The fact that he doesn't even know what he did is what finally causes her to break, muttering about how fucking ridiculous he is under her breath. It's not lost on Harry. 

“Now you've moved on from ignoring me to cursing at me?” he sounds more curious than upset, taking another step toward her. She backs away, defensively crossing her arms over her chest and she doesn't miss the way Harry’s brow furrows at the action. “Can y’please tell me what I did, Y/N? Please?” When she looks down at the ground, ignoring his please, he begs some more. He’s not above groveling, really. 

“Please, angel? Lemme fix it,” his eyes are wide and wild as he wildly searches hers for some clue as to what he did wrong. “Tell me-”

“Am I always just gonna come second with you?” 

She can almost see the wheels in her husband’s head turning, knows he's choosing his words carefully before he speaks so as not to upset her any further. 

“Okay, love,” he runs a ringer hand through his hair. “Can you be a little bit more specific?”

“We had plans this afternoon, Harry. We were gonna try that new café that just opened. I was looking forward to it,” she doesn't care if this makes her sound selfish and childish. “I know you were working and I know you how much you love to do that, but sometimes I feel like-”

“Don’t even finish that thought,”  Harry cuts her off and his tone is sharp, calloused. “That’s not true.”

“You know, at first I was worried something happened when you didn't show,” Y/N continues like she didn't hear him. “But then I realized nope, you probably just forgot or couldn't get out of another meeting. Just like always.”

A look of sadness flashes across Harry’s face, which quickly transforms to indignant anger. “Don't throw this in my face, Y/N. You know how much I hate that.” 

“So I’m supposed to be mindful of the things you hate, but you can't be mindful of the things I hate?”

“You don't get it,” he mumbles under his breath, growing increasingly done with the conversation the longer it drags on. “You're not in the industry. I can't just always leave-” 

“Then blame it on me! Make me the bad guy, Harry,” she finally turns all the way around to face him completely. “The people you work with get to see you more than I do…the fans…” Y/N trails off, letting her unfinished thoughts hang limply in the air. 

It’s quiet between the couple for no more than thirty seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. Harry breaks it first - he always does. He inhaled a deep shaky breath, trying to call forward the breathing techniques his therapist taught him to use in high-stress situations. Right now counts as a high-stress situation. 

“You’re right, angel,” the pet name slips off his tongue easily which comforts Y/N. Harry’s not as upset as she thought he was. He’s still her Harry. “That’s not fair of me, is it?”

All Y/N can do is shake her head, lower lip jutted out. She knows if she tries speaking she’ll start crying, and she doesn't want to cry. All she wants is for Harry to understand. Harry however, knows her too well. He knows the look she gets on her face when she's trying really hard not to cry and he knows she goes silent because she doesn't trust her voice not to come out shakey. He decides to continue talking.

“I should've called you and let you know I’d be late- or told you we needed to reschedule. I’m sorry I left you hanging, darling.” He pauses, selecting his next words very wisely. Harry knows his wife is sensitive. The last thing he wants is for her to think he's blaming her for anything. “...but it seems like this is about more than me missing our lunch. Which, again, I'm very sorry about. I'm taking you wherever you want for dinner tonight and I'll make you dessert when we get home. Let's talk more about this though, yeah?”

“You also have to be in charge of picking up after Hershey for a month,” Y/N responds with a small smile on her face. Hershey was the couple’s tiny brown poodle who was the cutest puppy in the world. “Thank you.”

“Mmm,” Harry hums, knowing his wife was trying to keep the conversation lighthearted since she hated confrontation. Since being with Harry her communication skills have improved tremendously since he was so good at it and wanted to talk about everything, but healthy communication clearly still didn't come as easily to her. “Talk to me, angel. What’s this about?”

Harry’s in front of her now, arms wrapped limply around her waist. He walks her backward until the small of her back hits the counter then he tells her to, “jump” so he can lift her onto the counter. Once she's situated he settles himself in between her legs and places his arms back on their place on her waist. Harry looks intently into Y/N’s eyes and she knows she won’t be leaving that spot until she tells him what's bothering her, so she just says it.

“I want a baby.” 

Harry raises his eyebrows in quick surprise before breaking out in a wide grin- the kind that causes his nose to scrunch up and wrinkles to form around his eyes. 

“You want a baby? W’ me?”

Y/N doesn’t return his smile, which quickly makes Harry’s turn into a frown.

“Why don’t you look happy?”

Y/N sighs, her eyes avoiding Harry’s. He gently places his index finger under her chin and pushes it up, forcing her to look into his eyes. He’s desperately searching his wife’s eyes, trying to figure out why she isn’t more excited about coming to this big decision. Harry has been ready for years of course, but he never wanted her to feel pressured.

“You’re never here, Harry. I don’t want to feel like a single mom.” Y/N looks down again and Harry doesn’t lift her chin back up this time. In fact, he doesn’t say anything. It’s silent for what feels like a couple minutes but is actually maybe only twenty seconds, the faucet leaking being the only sound heard throughout the whole house.

“Y/N…love,” Harry inhales a shaky breath, removing one of his hands from her hip to run his fingers through his curls. “I never want to make you feel like you’re alone. Not just with this, but…with anything.” Harry gently knuckles away a stray tear falling down Y/N’s cheek. 

“I know you don’t mean to make me feel this way, H. I guess it’s just what I signed up for when I married a popstar, yeah?” Harry can tell Y/N is trying to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t like that he’s the reason for he feeling this way.

“You didn’t “sign up” for anything, love. I’m your husband and you’re my wife and we’re supposed to be there for each other through it all, good and bad.” Y/N opens her mouth to say something but Harry gently pinches her hip, muttering for her to let him finish. “I want a baby with you. I want everything with you, Y/N. I want to be here for everything. I’m going to be better about being here.”

“H…I love you and I know you’ll try, but you’ve said this before-”

“I’ll take a break, babe. Cancel everything,” Harry’s talking faster now, excitement about his plan evident in his voice. “We’ll focus on ourselves and start our family. Go out of the country and leave my bloody phone here, if you’d like.” Y/N giggles at that, which makes Harry give her a big, dimpled grin.

“Will it be okay? With Jeff and everyone?” Although Y/N’s sure people on Harry’s team won’t be happy with his sudden change in plans, she can’t deny how charming the idea sounds. She could already picture them at their favorite villa in Italy, the one Harry purchased as a wedding gift to her and where they spent their unforgettable honeymoon. In all honesty, she’s surprised they didn’t get a baby out of that trip.

“Let me worry about that. You just worry about buying yourself some new bikinis, yeah?” Harry places a lingering kiss to Y/N’s jawbone. “Perhaps a few things for me to rip off you too, hmm?”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

hooray for happy endings :')

[genderqueerdykes]

seems like there's a lot of interest in talking about my experiences being a punk and interacting with our various communities. i've only been interacting with the community for a small handful of years at this point, but i lived at a punk music show house venue and visited them a long time before i lived there. i was also friends with a large circle of punks. ive interacted with a lot of punks online as well

there is a ton of unaddressed ableism in a lot of punk spaces. the 2 scenes i've noticed it the most with are the diy punk scene and the various punk music scenes

diy punks who look down on people who don't create/alter/fix all of their clothing by hand aren't helping anyone. it's great for those that can to do that if they want to, but a lot of people cant do that, or don't want to. it's not an obligation to make and fix things yourself to be punk. it doesn't matter where you purchase things from, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. punks shouldn't be getting uppity about this. some punks have arthritis. some have injuries. some have shaky hands. some have limited motor skills. some have nerve damage. some don't have hands (or prosthetics) at all. some punks have bad backs and can't spend hours hunched over a sewing machine or thread and needle.

some punks struggle to pick up new skills or follow instructions. learning how to sew and repair things takes a lot of time and money. some people don't have the funds to spare on needles, thread, sewing machines, spikes, pins, fabric boning and so on. it costs money to gather materials to DIY anything. not everyone has scraps of fabric or thread or old clothing they don't wear anymore lying around. some people can't afford to keep repairing the same items and sometimes need to just get new ones. it's not a mark of failure as a punk if you can't make/customize your own clothes, accessories, and other items.

people who associate punk with music and music only tend to have a lot of internalized ableism to work on. i've seen so many ppl say you cant be punk if you don't listen to the music and don't go to shows. (and usually if you do listen to the music, you have to list like 15 underground bands or people scoff at you.) this is so fucked up toward so many punks for a number of reasons.

physically and mentally disabled punks have a hard time going to shows. they're crowded. there's very little to no room for mobility aids. they're loud. there's flashing lights. there's people being pushed around and getting hit. there's drugs and alcohol everywhere. there's smoke everywhere. there's usually people filming. some people are very sensitive to loud noises and can't be in this environments at all. loud sounds can make some people pass out. it's generally very hot and the air gets very thick very fast. it can be dangerous for people with asthma and breathing issues. it can be dangerous for people with heart conditions. it can be dangerous for people with POTS, fibromyalgia, hypermobile EDS, arthritis and a lot of other issues. bathrooms are not always accessible. people who become ill or need to use the restroom may have nowhere to go.

some people have hearing damage from going to these shows. my old roommate had significant hearing damage from years of being in a scene band that played at punk shows. i cannot stress enough that hearing damage can be and is a genuine concern for people attending these shows. i always recommend wearing earplugs. pls get earplugs if you do go to shows. some punks are d/Deaf or HoH and have significant or total hearing loss and may not benefit much from going to the shows, or don't want to risk further hearing loss. some punks have tinnitus. there may be photosensitive people who don't want to risk having a seizure due to flashing lights and camera flash. there may be punks who are autistic, have ADHD, misophonia, or other conditions that may lead them to be very sensitive to sound and/or bright lights

a lot of punks are poor. some can't afford to go to shows or be constantly buying new music. some punks don't have regular internet access. some can't afford to constantly be buying or customizing new clothes to make sure they "look" punk. some punks just literally don't *have* punk shows in their area. some don't have local punk bands. some don't have exposure to an irl punk community. some punks have families and careers they enjoy participating in. some punks spend all of their time volunteering. some punks have other hobbies that consume their time.

some punks are homeless or housing insecure and can't do *any* of these things because they're too busy surviving.

i don't like how a lot of punks default to calling other punks "fakes" or "posers" or "lame" or whatever for being too disabled to participate in these things. of course people who are abled enough don't have to, either, but people seem to care very little for those who are too disabled to do these things. punks can produce a lot of different kinds of art. punks can get together and talk with one another about things other than just music. there's a lot to it and i don't like how people focus so hard on things that correlate directly to one's level of ability. it's very gatekeep-y.

[sylver-star]

⭑.ᐟ Just Cry - Yoon Jeonghan x reader

genre: blurb, hurt/comfort word count: 555 warnings: mentions of break up rating: PG / SFW

Disclaimer: My works are fictional and do not reflect real-life situations, cultures, or individuals. All characters are purely fictional, regardless of names or descriptions.

The room is cold from the open window, but neither you nor Jeonghan wants to get up to close it. On the floor lays a number of empty bottles of soju and the pillows that you're sitting on, since the couch behind you is still wrapped up in plastic. You pour more soju into Jeonghan's mug and he thanks you quietly. You couldn't find any glasses, seeing as most of your stuff is still in moving boxes that you were supposed to pack up and put in place in your new apartment. Those plans changed when Jeonghan came over with booze - no sentence has ever rung so true.

"Cheers," Jeonghan says once you've topped off your own mug. "To new beginnings."

Your mugs clink together. They both have little Hello Kitty characters on them, and you smile at the sight of Jeonghan drinking out of his so casually. Your knees are pulled up to your chest as you try to keep warm. The soju is helping a little. The blanket that Jeonghan had wrapped around you earlier is helping a little more.

"I didn't think I'd be able to get a new place this soon." You look around your new apartment. "Thank you."

"You know that you don't have to thank me." He's looking out the window.

"Still." You chuckle. "I can't help but be grateful, right? I was in such a shithole..."

You laugh a little more. It feels good. It feels like you have to. "When he told me that he was kicking me out, I genuinely thought 'this is it'. I thought I would have to move back in with my parents- that would've been a disaster!"

Jeonghan's not laughing, but you keep on doing so.

"Hey," he says, "We said not to bring up the ex."

"I know! I'm sorry!" You force out more air from your lungs, it's starting to sound less and less like laughter now. "I'm just so happy that I can laugh at it now! It's ridiculous, really..."

Your laughter dies down and the clump in your throat starts forming again. Jeonghan finally looks at you and sighs. "Don't force yourself to laugh. You know that you can just cry with me, right?"

There's a sadness in his eyes, but more than anything his eyes show understanding - like you're being hugged emotionally. Your bottom lip shakes and you quickly look down at your knees. The tears start building up in a matter of seconds, and it doesn't take long before you're a sobbing mess. One of Jeonghan's arms wraps around your shoulders and brings you in closer to his side.

"Just let it out," he hums. "You don't have to hold it in."

He presses a kiss to your temple, and you take your chance to wrap your arms around his neck. It's uncomfortable at first, but Jeonghan quickly shifts around so that you can sit down in his lap.

"It's so embarrassing." You sniffle. "But I was really scared."

"I know." Jeonghan puts his chin on top of your head. "And it's not embarrassing to be scared over that. I'm here for you."

You nuzzle yourself a little closer to him, and Jeonghan's arms squeeze you. Things may not be perfect, but they're as good as they can be when he's here with you.

[afyrian]

☆ not so bad

oikawa tooru x gn!reader (fluff) m.list | wc: 2.1k | prompts: only one bed + enemies to lovers + coworkers

    snow covers the street, your eyes trying to focus through the constantly moving windshield wipers. your finger taps incessantly against the steering wheel, the leather cover feeling comfortable beneath your clenched hands. your passenger (princess) and coworker winces as you take a quick turn, the ice making it hard to slow down with enough time. gaze darting towards him, eyes rolling exasperated.

  "i offered to let you drive, you're not gonna complain now," you look back towards the street, the streetlights barely fighting the incoming abundance of snow, only a large home down the street coming into view.

  he looks back over at you, something only your subconscious can feel. he scoffs lightly, the sound nearly swept away by the loud heaters in your car. "well i didn't think you'd nearly kill us on the drive. plus how are we even going to get there in this? we gotta find somewhere else to stay," he relays what you're already thinking in your head, like a broken record kept around for far too long.

  "well, how about- look is this an inn or something?" you slow the car down, no headlights on behind you or coming towards you.

  there's a quaint sign at the entrance of a large driveway and parking lot. a floral design etched into the wood, looking like something from an old romcom that you've seen a million times. pulling into the driveway, he starts to think out loud, running ideas through your head, "what if this is a murder hotel? like that one from america?"

  you roll your eyes again, the only thing you can seem to do in his presence. "oikawa, you're really getting on my nerves. i'm trying to stay professional but if you say one more word you're walking," you finally look over at him, noticing his eyes on you.

  there's something about the way his eyes still shine in the darkness. and for a second, you almost feel intrigued by his gaze, by his sarcastic smile. however, you're quickly pulled back to reality as you park in the mostly full parking lot. cars covered with snow make it almost impossible to find a spot, the rest of the snow building up to heights the rental car couldn't handle. 

  parking, you look towards the front door, "i'm gonna get us rooms before anyone else comes, grab the bags, will ya?"

  tossing him the keys, you open the door and grab your wallet. stepping through the thick snow, it picks up onto your ankles, chilling the space between your socks and pants. walking under the porch light, you happily let the warmth overtake you. and as you open the door, bright lights shine out the door, the indoor heat surpassing anything the small car could accomplish. 

  stepping in, you feel like you're in paradise. the old woodworkings of the house bring out the natural architecture that it has. family photos line the walls, generations of portraits up the staircase and down the halls. encompassed by the atmosphere of the inn, you don't even notice the front desk until a throat is cleared. looking over, you see a smile on the woman's face, her hands folded on the desk.

  "hi, my coworker and i got a little lost in the blizzard," you start, hand clutching your phone as you look up into the kind-looking woman's eyes, "and we were just wondering if you had any available rooms to stay in."

  she purses her lips, giving you a look that only a mother could procure. shaking her head slightly, she lets out a low sigh, "we only have one room dear, with one queen sized bed. i would recommend the both of you go to the next hotel or inn, but with the weather and how far they are..." 

  "right. well, does the room have a couch or anything?"

  "no, unfortunately the only room is quite small. it comes with an en-suite but it doesn't have enough room for other accommodations, i'm so sorry," the innkeeper stands before you, giving you an apologetic look through her lips and sunken eyebrows.

  just as you're about to say something, oikawa opens the door, walking up to you. snow covers his hair, sticking to the strands as some start to lose their shape beneath the heat. holding both bags, he sets them down beside you, looking between you and who you assume to be the owner. returning your gaze to the woman, you nod, deciding that it's the only option the two of you have.

  knowing oikawa is gonna give you flack for whatever you do, you realize it's your best bet, "okay, we'll take the room."

  "room-"

  looking to him, he soon realizes that if looks could kill, he'd be six feet under. closing his lips into a straight line, he watches as you use the company card to pay for the evening, grabbing the key from the lady. “it's beautifully crafted, like the rest of the home,” you nod, looking around. but oikawa can't stop looking at only you and seeing a kind side to you that he doesn't normally see. not when you both push each other's buttons more often than not.

  grabbing your bag from the ground, you thank the woman, giving her a soft nod. "let's go find our room," you sigh, looking back to oikawa, waiting for him to grab his bag and head up the stairs with you.

  following the line of portraits and photographs of the land, you see the closed doors, light shining out the bottom of only a couple of them. "so what did you mean by room?" oikawa whispers, leaning his head towards your's as he walks solemnly behind you.

  "exactly what i said... they have one room left. and we're not going back out into the storm. not when the other places are as far out as they are," you whisper back, making sure that none of the people working here could hear the two of you squabbling over the rooms.

  walking up to room four, you stick the key in, opening the door slowly. inside is a freshly made bed, a quilt comforter over white sheets with patterned pillowcases. it feels warm, not necessarily the temperature, which has settled to a comforting degree. but rather, it feels welcoming. the electric fireplace by the bathroom wall, the painting of rolling hills above the bed.

  oikawa looks inside from behind you, body nearly pressing up against your's. "so, left or right side?" he questions, peering down at you as you look back at him.

  shaking your head, you let out a short laugh. "well, i usually take the left side of my own bed..." you set your bag down by the wall, turning back to oikawa with a smile on your face, eyebrows raised.

  "there's some benefits to us being opposites then," he walks over to the right side of the bed, setting his bag down by the foot of the bed.

  you take in a deep breath, wondering how you're going to get through the next night or two with him. with how he jokes, how he looks at you with his glossy eyes. and especially, with how different the two of you are. narrowing your eyes, you nod, feeling like a deer in headlights.

  "well, i'm gonna get ready in the bathroom... i won't take too long or anything," you awkwardly step towards your bag, grabbing a change of clothes and your toiletries.

  walking towards the bathroom, you look back at him for a moment, cracking a smile. he's searching through his bag for something, eyebrows furrowed. oikawa always has such a determined look on his face, and only now did you notice the quirks that he carries. the way his tongue sticks out or his hand reaches to run through his hair. shaking your head to bring yourself back to reality.

  closing the door behind you, you start getting ready. you put on a matching pair of pajamas and start washing your face. it’s a soothing moment for you, time to yourself so you can truly relax before facing him again. 

  uncapping your toothbrush, you run it under the water first, letting the bristles loosen. leaving a trail of toothpaste on the brush, you bring it up to your mouth, brushing while you grab your phone. checking the screen, you notice it's getting late, and since you have to get up fairly early to get back on the road... your brain stops thinking of the future when you hear something fall.

  setting down your phone quickly, you unlock and pull open the door. there stands oikawa, shirtless, with his phone on the ground. immediately you look away, looking up towards the ceiling so you don't have to meet his gaze again. "sorry, dropped my phone."

  nodding, you turn back into the bathroom, spitting the toothpaste back into the sick. your mind relays the short moment, like it's something you see but nearly every part of you wants to ignore or forget. nearly every part of you. rinsing the toothbrush back down, you set it down beside the sink. "yeah, i was wondering if you tripped and fell. happy i don't have to call for help or anything," you shrug your shoulders, stepping back into the room and turning the bathroom light off.

  when you step out, he's throwing his shirt on. bringing it down over his head and down his torso. looking away once more, you find your cheeks warming up. "unlike you, i'm not a total klutz," oikawa walks over to the side of the bed, pulling back the comforter and top sheet, tossing one of the extra pillows onto a dresser. 

  "no, but you seem to not like comfort. one pillow is not nearly enough for a comfortable sleep," you join him on your side, pulling back the sheets but keeping your gaze on his, hands moving on their own.

  oikawa shakes his head, finally being the one to back down from your gaze. he looks over to your two, and then to his that he tossed off, "well if you like comfort so much, feel free to take mine. and it is comfortable, in fact it's actually nice to keep my neck from hurting."

  "i will gladly take your pillow and i'll stuff it between us," you walk over, grabbing the pillow off the dresser and onto the bed.

  the two of you simultaneously get onto the bed, kneeling face to face, inches apart. he stares at you for a second, swallowing, adam's apple bobbing. clenching your jaw, you lean back and sit on your leg, letting the other rest along the bed. you look at your phone, no notifications filling your screen, leaving the two of you with an awkward silence. 

  bringing your leg out with the other, you pull the comforter and sheet on. you quickly set your phone down on the bedside table and hope that the drowsiness of the night will help drown the tension. "you have a light switch near you, right?" oikawa asks, bringing the sheets up on his side as well, mirroring you.

  "yeah," you whisper, your voice quiet as you reach over and flick the spare light switch down, "okay, goodnight."

  the two of you sit in silence. and despite the shades drawn and the sun down, you can't seem to cut the intense feeling you both carry. oikawa clears his throat only a couple of minutes in of laying there. it breaks the tension for only a moment before the two of you are lying there on your backs, wondering what to do.

  "if we weren't on a business trip i'd say it'd be fun to go sledding or build a snowman," oikawa mentions and you hear his pillow shift, his head turning towards you.

  turning your head towards his, you nod against your pillow. "i don't know, i'm partial to snowball fights i think," your shoulders shrug, only able to see his eyes and his outline in the darkness.

  "of course you'd be," he scoffs, turning his head back, eyes staring forward.

  "god, you are so annoying," you shake your head, staring forward as well, "goodnight for good now." 

  turning away from him, you feel your lips turn up into a smile. something about him makes you so annoyed, so frustrated. but it also makes life so much more exciting, making it not so bad. oikawa started feeling the same way when he woke up early in the morning, arm wrapped around you. the pillow had been thrown to the ground, and your hair was in his face, but it all felt so good.

a/n: longest oneshot i’ve ever done and it’s an oikawa fic… gen. taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@nekozaki @nnnyxie @kameyyy

[juliasmesmerized]

Me and You

pairings: Josh Washington x gn!reader, Mike Munroe x gn!reader requested type: two pining on an oblivious reader! summary: Mike and Josh shoot their shots on the reader while they just can't get it. vibes intended: Timeless - The Weeknd, Playboy Carti word count: 3334

REQUEST: Hii mootie ! I just saw your post so i may have an idea ? 💞 if you want ofc ! Mike and ahem my cutie pie josh fighting over reader? For her/their attention and the silly agrument went like hmm heated? 😭 not sure if u do smut so i'm sure if you're do or not- but it doesn't have to be one! Maybe yk both of them being obsessed w reader cs yk we r js their light to their darkness <33 [also if i made typos mb im really sleepy 😿💔] ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳🎀 i hope ideas come to you ! You can ignore this take care🤍🤍 - @castielsloversblog

RESPONSE: hi pookie! happy new year!! it's so sweet of you for this and I super appreciate the ideas. I had some time off focusing on finals and I def wanted to explore other characters than just Josh. I write for everyone, yall I love them all. I got ideas as soon as I read this and asked a friend which request to do first, yours was her choice! Enjoy!

Michael's party was almost underway after a week of planning. Since it was a bunch of the group's first college frat party, Mike decided to plan Jess's, Matt's, Ash's and your first one. Sam's brows slightly furrowed; frat parties are never really chill and freshmen never attend for that reason.

Sam sat with her sketchbook. "Maybe we should have a small get together instead of a full party full of college upperclassmen." Her red coat was eye-catching for the infamous night of halloween eve.

Casa de Mike was decorated with black and orange ornaments. A full skull near the door with a sign that says 'how you doin'?'. There was red splattered around some areas with washable liquid, and LED lights placed around with the remote being Mike's phone.

Mike was setting up more decorations with Jess. "Don't worry about it, Sandiego. It'll be fine! If anything happens to the three freshmen we got them. Josh and I will be on watch." Jessica's hair was longer than usual, gold and sleek. Her purple dress didn't touch the ground, but her hair did.

Emily teased. "You sure you can handle that hair?" Emily wore a black headpiece reminiscing a swan; a corset endowed in pretty bows and a tutu skirt. Edgy black eye makeup and a soft red lip. Her hair didn't fit a bun, so she let it down.

"I better look the part! One night of long hair shouldn't be as bad as wearing heels all night." Jess spoke up as she placed a skull head on the snack counter.

Chris, looking as if he was going to save a young girl, who was immune from a virus, from dying on the operation table that could've saved the whole world. "Why is Jess even here, Mike? Wasn't it supposed to be a surprise?"

He left everything he was doing to stare at Chris. "She had to come over early to do the skull look. Ain't no way I'm doing this myself." He pointed on his face like 'duh!'. He had a skull face drawn on by the makeup artist herself and a full black outfit. A black button up and black slacks and dress shoes. With his height and build, you could see him as a one night fling.

"Riiiiight." Chris went back to checking his phone.

Jess kept going back and forth checking each of the rooms that will be available to the guests, that being the living room, walk-in kitchen, and two bathrooms. "Why is Chris here early anyway?"

"I'm punctual! Why can't we appreciate punctuality these days?" Chris crosses his arms, but lets out a chuckle.

Emily rolled her eyes jokingly. "An hour early isn't punctual, it screams 'I don't have anything else to do with my life.'"

Chris sat next to Sam. "You're not doing much over here either, Em." Sam chuckled from time to time by their conversation as she kept placing strokes onto the pages.

"I was asked by Mike to come early because I knew how to make a party. I got some decorations he could use."

"Mhm. And I am extremely jacked." Chris sarcastically chaffed.

Emily snorted. "Whatever you say, whoever you are!"

"It's from The Last Of Us!"

Emily shook her head as she rested her weight on the wall behind her "Nobody but you would know that."

Jess shouted for Mike who was across the hall. "I think everything's ready here, Mike!" She walks towards Sam; once Sam's pencil left the page, a hand swiped the sketchbook away.

Sam pouted at her younger friend's action. "Jess..!"

"Look here. She's drawing us!" Jess ushered the rest to the notebook. Everyone was dressed up and almost taking a selfie in Samantha's reimagining. Some important people are missing, but were considered by some circles.

Emily cooed as she saw herself holding a peace sign. "Awww, Sammy!" She took it off of Jess's hand to have Chris take a closer look.

His smile earnest, Chris beamed. "I look pretty cool."

Sam shyly looked away from the three complimenting her work. "I'm waiting to see the others to include them."

Jess gave Sam her sketchbook back. "Secret's safe with us!"

The doorbell rings. Sam, like clockwork, got up towards Mike. "Could I hide this somewhere safe? I didn't bring much of a bag."

"Yeah sure, follow me. Em, could you get the door?" Mike walks up the stairs with Sam behind him.

"Sure." She walked towards the door, twisting the knob just right. Her eyes befell the raggedy clothing and dull dark green skin.

An enthusiastic Matt radiated through the realistic zombie costume. "Hey Em! Didn't expect to see you at the door."

Emily stepped aside to let him in. "Woah Matt, how'd you nail the zombie look that well?"

Matthew's positive attitude changed the atmosphere that surrounded them. "I checked some tutorials online! Cool right?"

Emily smiled. "Piqued my interest for sure." She closed the door behind him. He took in the fresh changes done to Mike's place; an area he frequented before, but looked completely redone for this fun occasion.

Matt turned his head to see Jess sitting down. "Do they always go all out with these parties?"

"Frat parties? Yeah, it gets people going." Jess stood up, walking closer to Matt. They had a quick hug.

Sam and Mike came down the stairs and greeted Matt. Before he could continue surveying his surroundings further. The bell rang one more time. Mike went ahead to open the door as a good host.

You and Ashley arrived together. Josh in a separate car arrived around the same time, which had you three at the door.

Mike stepped aside for the rest to come in. "Welcome in!" He kept the door open as a few others began to gather parking outside his suite.

You had a pirate ensemble on, fitting the halloween theme. Ashley's face was highlighted by fawn features; the pretty white spots surrounded by light brown, a light wing on her eyes, the contouring on the nose with the white dots, and a special fawn headband. She wore a short brown dress with white gloves. Her brown boots perfectly cemented the deer getup.

Matt spoke up as he greeted Ashley. "Ash, you look amazing!"

"Thank you, Matt! So do you!" She responded, but all of that drowned as Mike came to greet you first.

He definitely glanced over to fully take you in; top to bottom. "Nice costume you got on. Very coastal."

Joshua walked up next to you. "Thanks Mike, so do you!" You had a smile creep up your lips due to the compliments you've gathered so far and the night barely began. It started with Ashley, then Josh, and now Mike.

Emily looked around. "Where are Han and Beth?"

Josh's demeanor never changed. "They asked to come in a separate car, Hannah's been practicing how to drive. Something about keeping their costumes a surprise from everyone."

Sam recalled all close interactions with the twins. Hannah purposefully kept her mouth zipped, even if she could never hide anything from Sam. Beth was more relaxed about everything, and can hide a few things. "Right, Han never even told me her costume."

"That's interesting. They'll also be the only high schoolers here, keep 'em safe." Josh looked around towards everyone, knowing they'll be a helping hand. They loved pranking each other, but when it came to safety; it was no joke.

A few nods and notes of agreement came from the entire group. The doorbell kept ringing until the place was filled with college students ready to start the weekend off with a bang.

Hannah and Beth entered in completely differing outfits. Hannah went for Emily from Corpse Bride and Beth decided to go Raven from the DC comics.

You greeted everyone and began to drown into the crowd and the ongoing party. There was dancing, conversation, the loners, people jumping into the swimming pool, and drinking; which you couldn't even tell if it was legal.

You decided to head outside for a breather and dip your feet into the water. Before you could fully slip away, Josh took your hand and moved you towards the hallway near the bathrooms.

His smile, gleaming as ever. He decided to have a square voice changer that could be attached to his shirt. The white shirt and jeans outfit was simple to the naked eye, but with the drawn on blood stain and fake knife, you could tell it was from a slasher film. The iconic line of his would go: What's the matter Sidney? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Instead, he goes on elsewhere. "You enjoying the party so far?"

"Yeah, it's definitely new, but nice. It feels you might drown into the crowd any second." You smiled at his attentive nature.

He nodded. "Right, you gotta just get your footing." Your eyes gaze at the square microphone at his collar and he realizes.

Josh takes it off and clicks a button. His voice was augmented as it came out of the machine. "You know, it works." Your eyes sparkled at the interaction.

You looked into his eyes and back at his hand holding the mic. "That's such attention to detail! Amazing!" The astonishment never truly left your face even when Jess called out to Josh.

Jess tapped on his shoulder and looked up to see him. "I need you for something."

"You good, Jess? What's up?" He looked genuinely concerned for a moment. She wasn't one to ask for Josh out of everybody.

She gave a slight smile at his care. "Just a few minutes of your time." He followed her as they walked off, and you were alone once again. You walked outside to see a cooler with a bunch of drinks. Walking up to it, looking into the different choices, you were stumped.

"I'd say it's too early for a drink." The familiar voice had you turn around to Mike. His hazel eyes stared into you with intensity. "We'll be here all night you know."

You cross your arms at him, amused at his conversation. "You're saying I shouldn't party hard and get wasted?"

He chuckled at how far you took it. "I'm just saying a pirate should be stealing hearts, not taking shots."

Going with his flow, you think of a good response. "Whose heart is on the market to be stolen? I don't see any, personally." You point towards the multitude of couples at his place.

He smiled. "You'd be surprised-" He was cut off by another friend.

Chris cries out from behind you and Michael. "MIKE! Mike! Mike!"

Mike turns around to respond. "Yeah, Chris?"

He points back into the crowd. "A girl puked and I don't know what to do? Come with me let's carry her somewhere. She's unconscious in one of the bathrooms."

Michael groans. "I gotta take care of that, see you."

"Of course, take your time. Enjoy." By this point, Mike gave his back to you. He raises his hand to salute and says back: "not going to enjoy it!"

You chuckle at his response, even if he groans and complains; as anyone would, he still would get the job done wholeheartedly. The party is ever-so slightly going harder. People are making out, sleeping on the floor, jumping to the beat, anything you could imagine was happening.

Going back inside, without a drink. The conversation with Mike took your mind off of it; probably for the best. The song playing was something you used to listen to at times, known to be a cult classic at clubs and parties. It was getting to the good part.

Fresh out the trench, four hundred packs Uh, yeah, I'm spinnin' in Paris

Josh creeped up from behind you. "You should try the dance floor." His smile, filling you with comfort and excitement, had you eager to try something new. There was some space at the designated area; the living room where the sofas were placed away from the wooden floor. He put out his palm for you to grab.

Dress for these hoes, they finna flock Just poured a four in a soda, it pop

You smiled at his gesture, and take his hand. "Why not? I love this song." Sam kept eyeing the two of you as you held his hand. Hannah and Beth could be seen whispering to each other. The eerie feeling chilled your spine, but you ignore it in pursuit of trying something new at this new experience.

Them drugs finna hit, I'm feelin' ill I'm wrestlin' all of my demons, I feel like The Rock

The lights flashed random strong colors at semi-long intervals, blue, red, green, purple, orange. The crowd interested in the song jumped to the beat and chanted the lyrics. You and Josh join them. The beat was about to drop. Everyone was colorfully assorted in costumes and embroidery to show off their favorite characters, mastery in creation and design, and just having fun with outfits.

Ever since I was a kid, I been legit If I was you, I would cut up my wrist

The song moves you and Josh follows you. In your element, you don't realize his hands echoing your hips. Eyes closed, feeling the moment and everything surrounding it slow down. Only you, Josh, and the music mattered.

XO tatted all over her body, yeah She just wanna roll and I don't mind it, yeah

Your costume flowed alongside you, the golden chains and belt moved with you, and Josh was taking all of you in. Regardless of how much of a bad dancer you could've been, it felt natural and the confidence showed. Mike glanced at you, already whisked away before he could've done anything.

Ever since I was a jit, I been legit You should let her go, she wanna be it

Josh looked at Mike, knowing the situation they were both in while mouthing the lyrics. Gritting his teeth, Michael put his weight against the wall, leg up, and arms crossed. Planning his next move, as Josh and you continued to the song.

You smiled to Josh as the song calmed down. "Thanks for calling me up here." You still had energy, but the climax of the song has ended.

Joshua effused; still trying to keep cool. "Of course, I knew you'd enjoy your time."

"Have you?" You raised an eyebrow towards his sincerity.

His blue eyes locked onto yours. "With you? Of course I would."

You chuckle to his seemingly disingenuous response. "You'd say that to everyone."

He bantered alongside you. "You wound me! I can have special moments with special people." His right was on his heart and his left hand was on his forehead, his eyes were closed, looking especially dramatic.

You rebutted, seeing him flirt with Sam and Jess quite often. "Yeah, when you don't flirt with every girl you know!" You and Josh both know flirting with Jess, recently single, was more of a joke. If she gets a guy, she wouldn't let Josh even have an inch of a chance to try.

Mike was getting more pissed as he saw you laughed with another guy, even if that was your mutual friend. The idea of you laughing with a friend was innocent enough, but he knew this guy has it in for you also. He hated it; despising the fact you couldn't be the one to focus on him as they were both pining for you.

There wasn't much you could do, he knew that. He knew you wouldn't get out of your comfort zone and do anything like that. You all were friends, and he understood. Josh also thought the same in regard, which pushes them both to pursue you more aggressively. As a board game would go, each of the guys took turns with trying to get you.

Using their wingmen as chess pieces to get you alone, they strike at different times. He couldn't have Jess call Josh out while you guys were dancing, and when he finally had the chance to, you both were done. Michael's train of thought has clashed as he saw Josh make a move. His finger brushed your cheek. His clenched his fist at the sight.

They both agreed not to make a serious move until you figure yourself out. Everyone knew about it at this point, the staggering looks, the whispers, Jess and Chris, everything was calculated. Until Joshua ruined the deal and Michael had to deal with that, alone. Joshua would have to rave the consequences as well, alone.

Without much thought, Mike was already holding Josh's hand away from your face. "Not going to cut it man."

Josh, looking puzzled, responded to Mike. "Yo, dude, what's going on?" You stepped aside from them, knowing that Mike was not happy and you wanted nothing to do with it.

Mike's facial expression was relaxed, but his stare didn't let up at all. "You know what's going on. You disregarded what we agreed on." Everyone who caught onto the situation surrounded them and almost pushed you back from the suspense and itching tension.

You squeeze through them regardless and hold your head high to see everything.

"You can't just claim the situation however you want. How long are we just gonna sit here and verbally shoot our shots? Some people fall after physical encounters."

He shook his head, more forcefully this time. His tone went deeper as he tried to hammer in his point of view. "That doesn't matter. We agreed on something, Josh. Don't fuck with me."

"You're too scared to shoot your shot, don't blame it on me. That was your doing, I took that grace period with you and now we can BOTH do what we want until she takes a stand."

A clenched fist flew into Josh's face. His right cheek, now bruised and red, turned away. "Fuck you, Mike." He held onto Mike's black collar and took his left hand to swing at him. The punch landed on Mike almost immediately.

The chants of "Fight" grew repetitive and loud. As the fight got more heated, more people covered your vision. After crawling out of the situation you were put in, you find Josh on top of Mike. Josh was landing punch after punch while Mike defended himself. You were beside yourself, this felt too much to bare and your eyes widened at the scene. You ran towards them.

They were both in the wrong, you know that. Neither of them should've had this escalate to this, but nothing could be done now but to stop them both from hurting each other further. Josh had a bloody nose, Mike got a black eye, the injuries on them both were never ending.

You screamed. "Stop this!"

Not that it did anything. Blinded and drowned by the current moment, Mike got the energy to push Josh off of him and began to get on the offense. Before his hit could land, Chris grabbed Josh away and Matt put his hands under Mike's arms and pulled him away.

Chris looked over towards both of his friends. His tone more sincere than it was the entire night; feeling stern. "She asked you guys to stop. Stop this."

Sam began damage control immediately. "Show's over everyone. Go home." Beth began helping her out in swaying people to drop the situation. De-escalating something this heated would never be easy or even fully fulfilled, but Samantha definitely had to try.

Hannah, Emily, and Jessica had nothing to do with helping the scene, instead Hannah was frozen in shock of Michael's newfound discreet confession. Emily and Jessica were silently eating up the whole ordeal; two guys fighting over someone? Yeouch! This sounded like a good Friday night to them!

Once everyone cleared up, Josh immediately headed on. Silently glad that Hannah and Beth had their own separate ride. No one could've even silently checked on him on the side, for he was already gone.

IM BACK BAYBEEEEEEEE! Thank you so much for reading this! I definitely enjoyed this request, please send some more! I have more to write later on, and I definitely have ideas for. I haven't forgotten them, but I got overworked with finals and I couldn't get really good ideas, there was one request I made three separate ideas for, but finally decided on one. •ᴗ•

[captain-huggy-bear]

Sherwood Forest

Pairing: Kiefer Sherwood x Fem!Reader

Warnings: N/A

Summary: You give Kiefer a new nickname or two or three.

Notes: I am first and foremost a Quinn girlie but I do love Kiefer and I also can't help but calling him any sort of Robin hood reference so...

This is short, but I felt like writing it. I feel like Kiefer is the cocky, smooth kind of guy that makes you melt a little even when he's a little crude and rough around the edges.

Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)

Writing Masterlist

Kiefer is the last to leave the locker room after the game, to the point where you admittedly grow bored of waiting for him out in the corridor. He doesn't seem to hear you enter, even as the door shuts behind you, his back to you as he messes with a strap on his bucket.

Your boyfriend is so engrossed with fiddling with the strap that you can't help but be amused even if you really want to go home already. He's not even in his suit yet and it baffles you how he's managed to get distracted by something so unnecessary, something the equipment manager will likely fix for him anyway.

"Hey there, Robin Hood," You feel the way Sherwood's shoulders jump underneath you as you sneak up behind his sitting form, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pressing your chin to the top of his traps.

He groans, setting the helmet off to the side of the bench, "Is that really what you're calling me now, sweetheart?" His face turns towards you, brown eyes peering over at you with fond amusement.

"Mmmhmm, cause you steal from the rich, the other team, and give to the poor, the Canucks..." You're joking, mostly...although, his 2 goals tonight might have made the joke a little more relevant. His ability to steal pucks on top form along with his hit ratio. He'd had an excellent game and you could feel how upbeat his mood was in the playful way he entertained you, a little smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Or because my last name is Sherwood?"

"Do you not like it? I thought I was being creative, you guys always give each other nicknames...I'll stop if you want?" He might be playful with you, but you don't want to force Kief to be called something if he genuinely hates it. There's a slight anxiety that maybe you've overstepped the mark.

You can't help the laugh that slips out when his arms reach for you pulling you into his lap, until you're firmly pressed against him, arms over his shoulders, "You can call me whatever you want, sweetheart," he grins up at you as you push a dark curl away from his cheek and behind his ear. It's started to grow out even more, along with the scruff on his cheeks and never fails to make him look like some sort of medieval knight.

"Anything?" You grin down at him, working a hand into his hair, fingers gently threading through his curls and working out the few knots you find.

"Anything." His hands squeeze your hips, pulling you more firmly onto his lap.

You think for a moment about what you could call him that he might hate, grinning as you ask, "Pookie?"

"I can deal." He nods serious like the idea isn't completely ridiculous, like calling a 6ft, 195lbs man pookie wasn't some sort of crime against humanity.

"Snookums?"

"Might ruin my reputation with the guys, but for you? Sure." You laugh, imagining the reaction of the entire locker room if you turned up one day and loudly proclaimed him your snookums, he might be their heavy hitter but his reputation might take an even heavier hit.

"Toots?"

"Mm, shouldn't I call you that? But, yeah, fine, call me toots." Kiefer's hands slide up to your waist, holding you there as his fingers flex, eyes admiring as he watches the way you come up with idea after idea, more ridiculous each time.

"Bubba? Old man? Doodlebug? Lovey?"

"Seriously, anything. I would let you call me the worst, most embarrassing names on the planet...as long as I get to call you mine." He smirks at you at the end, proud of himself with the line he just dropped and the way it makes you look away, bashful but smiling, face scrunched up.

"Oh, that was smooth..." You love and hate how it makes you feel giddy like a school girl when you're in fact in your 20s and most definitely too old for feeling that way over a boy.

"Y'like that?" Kiefer drops his voice down low, pulling you until your hips straddle his own and you're as close as you can possibly get.

"Mmm, old man, yeah, I liked that. I like you..." You hide your face into his shoulder, cheeks incredibly warm and heart racing a frantic pace.

"Well, that's a relief, it'd fucking suck if my girlfriend didn't like me."

"You're such a pain!" You lift your head up, cheeks puffing out as you roll your eyes at him, hand whacking him lightly on the shoulder. Not that any hit you could give him would hurt, Kiefer was built like a brick wall and knew how to take a hit.

"Oh, I'm a pain? You just went through every embarrassing name for me you could, and I'm the pain, sweetheart?"

He grins at you, the sort of grin that should have warned you he was up to no good because mere moments later the fingers at your waist are no longer just resting there, but digging in, tickling you at the most sensitive spots he can find.

"Kief! Stop!" You're laughing involuntarily even as you say it, hands trying to shove his away, but he holds you against himself as his fingers reach for every weak spot you have, "You're being mean!"

You're certain you might wet yourself with how hard he's tickling you and it's your screeching that finally gets Kief to let up for a moment to offer you a deal. You're panting as he meets your eye.

"Okay, okay...I'll stop...if I get a kiss." His teeth show as he smiles at you, clearly proud of himself like a little school boy.

"No." You refuse, even though secretly you want to kiss him. But, he'd been mean and you couldn't reward his bad behaviour surely?

"No? You won't kiss your boyfriend who just won a game?"

"Not when he's being mean." You pout at him as if you have the upper hand, as if he doesn't have all the power in this scenario, it's cute, but naïve.

"Oh? I'll show you mean." You should have expected it really, the way his fingers immediately reach back for your waist, digging, tickling until you can't breathe again, until you concede defeat and offer him up a kiss.

"Okay, okay! Fine, I'll kiss you, Sherwood Forest."

"Seriously?" He rolls his eyes at the nickname, another one to add to the books, even as he's grinning at you and his victory.

"Do you not want that kiss now?" You're a bit bratty today and he kind of likes it, kind of thinks he should make your life harder for it too, but decides he really just wants that kiss.

"Don't you dare take my kiss away, Maid Marian," He threatens you before pressing his lips to yours, insistent, firm, not exactly gentle not that many things about Kiefer are. His fingers are gripping your hips tight and the scruff on his face scratches and still you can't help but lean into him, opening your mouth against his.

"That was bad," You laugh against his lips as you pull back slightly, noses brushing like the way his lashes brush the apples of his cheeks when he smiles down at you.

"Not as bad a snookums."

[shiguangism]

Link Click/SGDLR Thread Fic. CW: They talk about death

Even if time gets reset with every loop, there are some intrinsic effects that propagate with the time travelling. They are so subtle that even Lu Guang doesn't know they're there, he doesn't notice either. They're buried deep inside Cheng Xiaoshi, he has new fears he never had. He rejects things he has liked before, it is completely irrational and sudden. Consequences of actions lingers deeper than imagined, nothing gets really destroyed nor erased, not even with time loops.

Lu Guang finally realizes this on a normal Saturday evening, three burgers and a bottle of wine in front of him. Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling are talking about anything and everything, he is listening to them, enjoying the rare relaxing evening.

"Lu Guang," it's Qiao Ling talking. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

The question makes him freeze on the spot. He doesn't know. How long has he been 21? He never went so ahead, he realizes he has never thought of that.

"I don't know... still here with this idiot," he answers. That's what he hopes. He doesn't add that he wishes they would finally reach 26 years. He knows it is much more likely they will still be 21.

Cheng Xiaoshi laughs at his answer, but it is meek. It lacks his usual happiness, especially when Lu Guang has used his most fond tone, when he said once again he would be his partner even in five years. A confirmation of forever again.

Qiao Ling looks at Cheng Xiaoshi worried, she knows something is wrong.

"Ahh what?" asks Cheng Xiaoshi, stiffing in his seat, next to Lu Guang.

"You're acting weird now. What's up?"

"Ahh it's just... can I be honest?"

Qiao Ling is even more weirded out, and shares that with Lu Guang with a fast glance.

"What is it?" Lu Guang asks.

"About the five thing years... I don't know too where I will be."

"Is it just that? You scared me! Five years are a lot... don't worry so much."

"No, Qiao Ling... you don't get it. I feel... I feel like I wont- I feel I'm gonna die. Young."

"Cheng Xiaoshi!" Qiao Ling jumps from her chair, taking a few seconds to elaborate and react, "What the hell are you saying!? What the hell?? Why are you saying this thing??"

"Qiao Ling, wait!" he also gets up, trying to follow her as she storms outside the room.

"Why do you think about this stuff! You!! You think we don't care? No, don't follow me!" she runs upstairs, and Cheng Xiaoshi stops his steps.

"Lu Guang, I... shouldn't have said that, right? I didnt want... this..." he is sad, he was just being honest. It is an irrational thought, a conviction he doesn't know where it arrives from. It scares him, it is even scarier now, seeing what it does to also other people.

Cheng Xiaoshi turns around, finally looking back at Lu Guang. Frozen again in his sit, looking at him with an expression Cheng Xiaoshi has never seen before. It looks like he is panicking, as if he is not even there but still way too aware of everything.

"Lu Guang" he rushes again next to him "say something please... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that... I'm... I messed up. Please, it's not true. It's not real! It's just my mind."

"Go to Qiao Ling. She needs you now." Says Lu Guang. It's not true, he needs Cheng Xiaoshi more than ever. He needs to touch his hands. To know Cheng Xiaoshi is there, that he is here. That this reality is real. He is freaking out, he messed up. He messed up so badly, everything is a consequence of his action.

"Lu Guang..." Cheng Xiaoshi looks at him, full of guilt, but doesn't dare to touch him. Lu Guang doesn't like physical touch when he is overwhelmed, Cheng Xiaoshi knows. But he doesn't know that now he needs to be crushed by him and his arms to go back to breath. And live.

"I'll be right back..." Cheng Xiaoshi runs to the stair, and disappears like that.

Lu Guang is not sure now if Cheng Xiaoshi will be back or not...

[acourtofthought]

Feyre to Rhys:

“I think I was falling in love with you for a while,” I said, the words barely audible over the trickle of water as I washed his beautiful wings. “But I knew on Starfall. Or came close to knowing and was so scared of it that I didn’t want to look closer. I was a coward.”

Nesta to Cassian:

“From the moment I met you, I wanted you more than reason. From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about. And it terrified me. No one had ever held such power over me. And I am still terrified that if I let myself have you … it will be taken away. Someone will take it away, and if you’re dead …” She buried her face in her hands. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I do not deserve you, and I never, ever will.”

Elain, currently around Lucien:

Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

"act hesitant"

"Pull back when things get to close"

"making excuses to distance themselves"

"sabotage potential relationships"

"may show interest but retreat when faced with the commitment required for a serious partnership"

Nesta / Elain to Cassian / Lucien after the war; a war that saw both Nesta and Elain sharing moments with their mates:

“Stop following me. Stop trying to haul me into your happy little circle. Stop doing all of it.”

She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left.

Nesta had made it clear enough she had no interest in Cassian—not even in being in the same room as him.

“She wants nothing to do with me.”

“I don’t think she’ll tolerate two minutes alone with me, so forget about two weeks.”

“I’ve made my thoughts clear enough on what I want from you.”

"She has no interest in him anyways"

He knew about the drinking, about the males. He told himself he didn’t care. He told himself he didn’t want to know who the bastard was who had taken her maidenhead. Told himself he didn’t want to know if the males meant anything—if he meant anything. He didn’t know why the hell he cared. Why he’d bothered. Even from the start.

"I'm talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of the hall where anyone could see you, including her mate"

I don't know how much more obvious Sarah can make the parallels at this point.

Elain was willing to hook up with Az because she's not afraid of feeling anything intense for him just like Nesta wasn't afraid to hook up with many others outside of Cassian despite having feelings for Cassian.

In the novella and SF, both sisters demonstrated behaviors that track with pulling away from the one who they could share the deepest feelings with because of being afraid and SF proved this was the case for Nesta.

They both lost so much in such a short time, of course they'd be afraid of losing the one person they share a mating bond with as that bond is deeper than anything they'd ever felt. Nesta wasn't afraid to lose a random guy at the bar which is why she let herself engage in a way she wouldn't with Cassian and in a similar vein, I don't think Elain was afraid to have things with Az not work out. That she was willing to make out with him after spending a year barely talking to him tells me that she doesn't have much invested in him, that she's not fearful of what opening herself up to him could mean if something happens to him. But opening herself up to Lucien would mean more and that more is what set her up for her past heartbreak (not to mention that it's canon a mating bond will always bring out even more intense feelings than that of regular love). I will never believe that she lost the fiancé she loved with all her heart, a guy who truly broke her, followed by the immediate loss of her father (the first man she ever loved) a little over a year ago but was ready to run into the arms of Az on Solstice (someone who avoided her for most of that year) and bare her soul wide open for him. That she was ready to love him. That she was ready to start another lifelong commitment to him. That does not track with true loss / healing, it does not track for the progression E/riel had on page and it definitely doesn't track for Elain considering we had zero declarations / actions showing that she has any real feelings for Az. What makes the most sense is that she's running scared from the person who was given a direct link to her soul regardless of how much time they spend together. Not only does it make sense from a psychological standpoint, that the person she is the most drawn to is the one she's experiencing the fear of commitment issues with after her pervious losses, but it also makes sense based on how Sarah did this exact same thing with Nesta and has written Elain to be having a very similar response.

[hot-take-tournament]

This you?

Okay, I know this is about the maid boot camp but... honestly? Yeah, kinda?

I picked up cosplay as a hobby last year, and now that's what I usually wear around the house as my "comfy clothes" (like how most people look forward to getting home and putting on sweatpants or whatever).

The thing is, I started doing it because I thought it would be easier to meet new people if when they asked "what do you in your free time" I had a response other than "I spend all day hiding in the corner of a room that's basically a landfill because the sound of the doorbell gives me a panic attack."

The closest thing I've ever had to a hobby is "I run a Tumblr where I once liveblogged drinking orange juice and buttermilk", and I can't exactly tell people that. I wanted to find a new hobby that I could share so I would seem more interesting.

I made a list of things I've always wanted to do, like cooking, art, dance, and so on. But either my ADHD brain wouldn't commit, or my bipolar brain would refuse to even try.

One thing way down that list was cosplay. Nothing else had stuck, so I thought fuck it, I'll give it a shot. I'll put together something cheap and simple, and see how it feels. If it doesn't work, that's fine, no one has to know.

But for whatever reason, this is what clicked, and now it's what I spend most of my free time doing.

Unfortunately, my dumb ass didn't realise that "I secretly dress up as anime characters" isn't a hobby you can tell people either.

So everything is exactly the fucking same, except I'm also broke as hell because I blew my entire budget on maid dresses and now I have no idea how I'm supposed to pay rent this month.

And I'm even more terrified of the doorbell because that means I have about 40 seconds to somehow dismantle a full outfit, shove it under my mattress, and tear my room apart looking for literally anything to wear because it's probably my parents dropping by unexpectedly which they've doing more and more often because they think I've been spending all that money on pot and I can't correct them because then I'd have to explain that it's really expensive to look like Marisa from TouHou.

10/10 would not recommend to anyone

[airandyeah]

Sweater Weather (Depressed!Gojo X Reader) Pt.7

The spotify playlist is here (Currently playing: Don't Blame Me; By Taylor Swift) (Not adding lyrics to the text so I can write more) Series masterlist My masterlist Divider Credit to: @uzma-qureshi

Pissed was an understatement for how Gojo felt. The elders have pushed him to the limit with his own jobs, but sending you on that job? Where they fucking crazy? He was seething when he finally left your hospital room the first time. The mission was supposed to be simple for you. 1 special grade curse had been causing some problems in the downtown area, and Gojo was busy. So they sent the other on-hand special grade sorcerer on the mission; you. What was supposed to be 1 special grade curse, turned into a nest of 5 of them. Needless to say, they beat the shit out of you, but you exorcised. every. last. one. The battle left you barely conscious on the pavement, waiting for someone to come to your aid, before you ultimately woke up in the hospital. ~~~ You learned from Nanami while Gojo left to get you breakfast, that Gojo tore the elders down, aggressively, inhumanely, and completely crazed. He could've just hollow purpled them, but he chose to take his time, destroying the building around them, making them believe if they begged that he would grant them mercy, but they were mistaken. You knew it was bad, knew it was actually horrid, but it felt so good. It felt like freedom. When Gojo came back in with your breakfast you thanked him and Nanami took his leave, saying he was going to get food for himself at the food court. You broke apart your wooden chopsticks and began shoveling food into your mouth, you were starving. You heard a giggle next to you and turned to see a love-struck Satoru who found your antics adorable. You stared at him, cheeks full of food before swallowing heavily, "Whatcha lookin at?", you ask, still trying to eat while asking. "You.". Well no shit. "I was scared yknow?", his eyes meet yours as he peels off his blindfold and props his face on his hand, his elbow holding him up next to you on the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be so... much.", you tell him, trying to keep it light. You discard the food tray as you finish, wiping off your mouth. "This whole situation has made me want to truly tell you, I want you to quit. I need you to quit." His words made sense, his voice was pleading that you would actually listen and follow through with his words. "I...", your words died on your tongue, your eyes thoughtful as they stared back into his pleading blues. Your demeanor turns playful a moment later, a small smirk coming across your face. "I'm gonna need to hear something to really convince me", you tell him and he looks at you, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. "What do I need to say?", his question is fast to leave his lips but you shake your head. "You have to figure it out". Gojo Satoru was stumped. "I like dogs more than cats?", he says, a confused lilt still in his voice while you giggle. "Nope, not that". "hmmmmm", he was being dramatic now as he thought, his hand rubbing his chin. ... He has gone through 20, absolutely random statements in the past 10 minutes and you are baffled. "Satoru.", your face is totally deadpanned, your frustration evident. "Whaaaaat, I don't know what you want to hearrrr", his voice is a childish whine and you look so done with him. You grab his face, squishing hard enough that his lips part and slightly pucker. He tries to speak through your hold but you're bringing your lips to his, ghosting over them. His eyes close, expecting a kiss, before you pull away. ~~~ It takes a few moments of silence before it's like a lightbulb flips on over his head. "I-I love you?", he doesn't know if it's what you want to hear and you stare at him. It makes him scared; the 5 seconds you don't say anything. "That sounded like a question. Try again.". He blinked once. twice. A third time. "I love you.", his voice is steady, full of conviction and you smile. "There it is". ~~~ Nanami walks into your hospital room, looking VERY startled and caught off guard as he finds Gojo holding himself up over you as you're making out, before he slams the door back shut and goes home.

Taglist: @kiel-luvsripples , @asahinasstuff

[linskywords]

A thought thats been bouncing around in my head:

Sid takes it upon himself to meet with the subs of the league when they're first drafted. Sure no one is really "out" but Sid has been at this for so long he can tell what he's looking at when a soft spoken guy who thinks his only option is to put the team on his shoulders comes along.

So when Mack comes along, Sid does the same thing he's always done: invite them out for dinner under the guise of a veteran offering advice. But really it's Sid subtly-not so subtly giving them the lay of the land. Advice like "guys are going to say shit on the ice. You can't say anything" "you can't act soft when you get thrown into the boards. It will only make it worse."

He did it with both of the Connors. He did it Nolan.

And he gives a lot of sub-adjacent advice. It's an elephant in the room and most guys will stick their head in the sand if Sid calls a spade a spade, or in this case, a sub a sub (Connor McDavid is a prime example).

Mack listens earnestly and seems genuinely interested in what Sid has to say. But when he starts to give him the standard "you have to be careful on how you take care of your....needs off the ice" talk to Mack, imagine his surprise when Mack goes "oh yeah! No problem there. Smitty and I help each other out. No big deal. So what about power play units-"

And Sid has to try not to choke on his soda. He thought he's heard every excuse under the sun but Mack casually admitting to subbing with his teammate? Former rival? Whatever they are.

And for a moment Sid feels a pang of jealousy. Mack will never know the crushing pain you feel when you go too long without subbing. He'll never know what it's like to feel like you can't have hockey AND be a sub. And maybe deep down underneath it all Sid wonders where he'd be if he didn't have to take all that time off to go through sub withdrawal.

(Hi it's me previous anon! Back with another continuation of the rambles!) Before he met Mack, the most surprising meeting he had was with Connor Bedard. It went like it usually does: inviting the rookie out to dinner under the excuse of "giving advice". They barely had placed their order before Connor is lowering the menu and asking point blank: "how do you sub in the NHL?" It shocks Sid like a punch to the nose. More often he's used to tip toeing around it. But not only did Connor immediately figure out what the dinner was really about, he also (which terrifies Sid) called Sid out for being a sub. Suddenly, the insecure urge that plagued Sid for his first 5 or so years in the league rears its ugly head. Connor goes back to flipping through the menu and asks "did you need a minute" and Sid hysterically can't figure out if Connor was talking about dinner or the bomb he just dropped. (Side note: Connor actually had no intention of rocking Sid's shit like that. He knew Sid was a sub. Not because he heard some nasty rumor. But because he saw the same mannerisms in Sid as he does in himself. And because Connor is a sub, that must mean Sid is a sub too. Everyone has told Connor his main job his first year is to learn. And, well, doesn't this count as learning?)

Aaaaah I love this as a potential future for the WYL 'verse! It's giving major vibes of my Jamie Benn/Joe Pavelski wandering heart story, with the whole "wait hang on do the kids think it's safe to be gay now??" thing Jamie and Joe wrestle with. The times really are changing, and that's great for the old guard to see, and also a little traumatic. It underlines how unnecessary their own suffering was, even if it was unavoidable at the time. It's great that the world is changing, but if it could change for these kids, why couldn't it do it a little bit sooner, for them?

[random-thoughts-uwu]

Aventurine headcanons! (after IPC recruitment)

Moving in:

was VERY overwhelmed. it was so big, bright, warm...ah!

probably just sat on the floor for a good while. just. trying to grasp what was happening at that moment.

so many rooms...the living area was so big and cozy, the bathrooms were so clean and bright, the bedroom...!

was very overwhelmed when he got to the kitchen; he probably didn't know what half the utility was for, and when he got the fridge/pantry, saw more food than he could even name. im telling you. so many different meats, fruits, vegetables, dairies...fruit that are normal to everyone else was likely VERY new for him. he probably also felt guilty, in a way, having so much food for only himself, when he and his family had been starving for so long...but anyways!

he was probably also very cautious moving in, checking all the windows and closets, any place where someone could be hiding or any possible cameras.

was likely still cautious, but managed to bathe and found it to be his new favorite thing.

probably LOVES meats. like. wow. its so juicy and tasty and fills him up. and sweets. major sweet tooth. poor man probably hasnt had anything sweet like this in his life up till now

Education:

also, can we talk about his education? honestly, i doubt he even knew how to read. well, maybe his sister taught him the basics, but again, he was enslaved for such a long time. did ratio teach him? did he just slowly get better at it himself (with lots of mispronouncing words and then getting the Look from ratio LOL)

someone had to teach him to use a phone too...i wonder if it was like IPC training to teach him how to use electronics or if they had to ask dr ratio or topaz or something to teach him

honestly he probably doesnt know a lot of classics either. the poor boy doesnt know about fairytales and classic books and movies. maybe he has some slightly altered versions from Sigonia-IV, like how theres different versions of cinderella in different cultures

i guess we can all agree aventurine is WAYYY more street smart than book smart compared to ratio (i still love you aventurine)

Experiences!

ok, so let's talk about this. my poor aventurine doesnt know anything but the harsh desert like terrain of sigonia-iv, and the cold cellar he was locked in, and ig normal buildings and the like.

but lets take him to the beach now. WOAH. the sand is so soft?? and it's not just harsh, hot sand, theres cool water, crashing onto the shore! there's seashells! washed up seaweed! palm trees! seagulls!! also he probably doesn't know how to swim. so he'd just do that awkward walk into the ocean that we all did as kids and get a little tense whenever a wave comes but eventually come to love it and never want to leave. hed also fs jump whenever something touches him.

snow???? imagine this. imagine please oh my god. its SNOW. its so magical and soft and cold. hed watch the snow fall, try to catch some on his tongue and taste it, make snowballs and snowmen and snow angels, run around and just lay in it. and at night, when the sky is that dull color and not quite black, the snow all soft and white

also, let's be real, chat. this man lost out on so. many. childhood experiences. so, him first learning to ride a bike, or playing ball, or finding a song he loves and screaming the lyrics out whenever, or learning to bake...i also very strongly headcanon that he would see a group of kids playing and immediately get hit with nostalgia, envy, melancholy. for the childhood he lost, the innocence of these children, their happy expressions as they run back to hug their mom and babble on excitedly about something, the dirt cleaned from their faces with a gentle thumb and smile. all these things he's never got to experience before.

Fears and insecurities (slight tw?):

thunderstorms. its too loud, so sudden, brings back all those old memories

yelling. he actually can't take it he Will break down. especially if its from someone he's close to

physical scars-- you cannot tell me this man will not have scars. i am almost 100% sure that you will see all sorts of fading marks along his back and arms, from fights, lashes, etc...

intimacy. sorry if this gets tw for anyone, but just saying. we all see how overconfident and cocky he acts, but he probably hates the idea of vulnerability. he hates being in that kind of situation, where he's left bare to his lover's gaze and judgement. i think he would also be scared of accidentally causing pain, or not being enough. or maybe scared of reaching expectations, of having to be up for it and ready whenever his lover wants it simply because he's a guy, or maybe thinks that that's just how relationships work.

also im very sure this man gets panic attacks, like. cmon. nightmares? had a situation too similar to one of the ones that scarred him?

also feel free to add more idk (i will be fs so u might want to come back and check idk)

[theyoungprinceling]

During their seemingly never ending walk to wherever Cid is, Ling feels the slightest bit grateful when Makenshi takes his hand. The action helps ground him and keep him in reality, although he still isn't looking around much. He's mostly following on autopilot and leaving his fate in Makenshi's hands. Quite literally.

At the sudden loud voice, Ling grunts and slams his hands over his ears. It really wasn't that loud but his senses are a bit off at the moment.

He sighs and lowers his hands slowly. So this is Cid and apparently Kumo is a nickname(?) for Makenshi. It might be a friend's only thing, so unless given permission, Ling will keep calling him the name he was originally told.

It doesn't feel like a good idea to speak but he wants to correct Makenshi about where he's from, so when he and Cid are done their back and forth, Ling takes the risk. "Xing. It's my country. Same world as Amestris, different area."

His voice sounds strange to his ears, a bit hoarse. His throat is tight and it's getting difficult to breathe but he keeps that to himself. Instead, he looks around the room where the appointment is apparently going to take place in. There's a minor sense of relief that it doesn't look like a regular doctor's office.

But when that chair is pulled out and Cid gestures to it, Ling's immediately reminded of the different kinds of doctor's appointments he had last year. Especially the first one, the roughest one. The one where his doctor forced him to confront how he was really feeling after getting home. After that Ling really started to dislike doctor's appointments.

Ling swallows hard and releases a quiet, long sigh. He isn't in the sky anymore, he can do the 333 technique his doctor taught him. It's the fastest way he knows how to calm down.

Three things he can see...papers on the desk. The chair he has to sit in (the chair that looks a million miles away)...tools he doesn't recognize on the countertop.

Three things he can hear...It's quiet in the room...He takes some steps towards the chair so he can hear his footsteps. He clears his throat once. When he gets to the chair he hesitantly sits and purposefully hits his knuckle on the arm to hear the thud.

Now for the final step...touching? Something to do with touching? Or is it taste? Smell? Shit, he can't remember which sense he's supposed to focus on here.

Ling leans forward and exhales deeply, gripping at his head. He doesn't care what the other two in the room may be thinking right now. He screwed up and ruined his rhythm. He isn't sure where to go from here.

"Do you need anything?"

That grabs his attention.

"Water."

That's all Ling can manage right now. Any more and he may start hyperventilating and that's the last thing he needs.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ It's a rounding of the endless maze of hallways in this place that the cloud prince has only gotten used to for living here for a few years now. His hand swings back absent mindedly and takes Ling's hand into his own so his new companion doesn't get lost. Ling says he doesn't remember a 'Kain' so perhaps he and Rakkani don't know each other.

Even if the walk and rounding of corners seems quick to the cloud he's sure it is a task to his counterpart as the Comodeen can be a little overwhelming for anyone whose never been here before.

"Cid I - " He begins to call out but there is a blond man with a visor over his eyes in the hallway before the swordsman can finish his sentence.

"KUMO." He sounds loudly holding an arm out and shaking a finger in the swordsman's direction.

"You did it AGAIN. How many times do I have to ask you to TELL ME when you leave?! It's dangerous, even for you!"

The man of white is sighing giving the blond a light smile behind his mask as he releases Ling's hand and motions to the boy in question.

"Cid, I'm fine. This is Ling. He' from Amestris or not Amestris but by Amestris from a shi-ing? I don't think I said that right. Anyway, I caught him with Aeroga when he was falling through the sky. I need you to make sure he's okei. "

"This is it? You didn't bring back anyone else?"

"Ei, not yet anyway. Ling is missing his friend and I am going to help him find her. "

The blond man is sighing as he raises a gloved hand to slide up his visor and reveal indigo eyes with a smile.

"That's fine but you have to tell us when you leave. All of your family were not happy when they couldn't find you."

"I will make sure I tell them I am okei."

Cid is motioning to the room behind him, that looks like the cross between an office and a workshop. Papers spread out over the desk and tools scattered on the countertop to the far side of the room. Cid is pulling up a chair next to his desk and motioning to it.

"It's nice to meet you Ling, I'm Cid. I'm the doctor here. If you'll sit down, I won't take very long. I just need to get a baseline. Do you need anything?"

[keeps-ache]

in a cafe rn. this place is nice :>

[liebelesbe]

up at 4am thinking about how i can't let go of things. how i can't handle change.