#hachetfield theories

[poor-mans-productions]

I'm missing Nerdy Prudes Must Die sooo bad. So I rewatched In nightmare time episode 3 the witch in the web. Hanna says some of them didn't want to be planted only some? what about the others? did they die of natural causes? sacrifice themselves for the greater good?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[morimess]

So I went back and rewatched all of the Hachetfield stuff, and now I have some ✨questions✨ and also possible ✨theories✨

(I don't know how much has been talked about before in theory circles, so go easy on me if these are widely accepted theories or questions that have been answered a million times before)

1- The LiB and their altars

Ok, so first off we know there are 5 black altars and 5 LiB- it only makes sense that each altar was dedicated to one LiB in particular- but can be used as a general altar if the need calls for it.

I believe we can determine which altar belongs to which LiB by where that Lord showed up first in the series.

So Pokey's altar is the Starlight Theater, Wiggly's was the old mill (now Lakeside Mall), and Tinky's was The Gazette (in Time Bastard, we learn the Gazette eventually turns into CCRP- Paul and Ted's workplace), Nibbly's is the Waylon place, and Blinky's is Hachetfield High.

I'm pretty sure Nibbly's is the Waylon place because in Honey Queen, the CotSC bring Linda to the middle of nowhere for her to be possessed by Nibbly. I'm gonna run under the assumption that the Church would almost certainly bring her to one of the altars for such an important ceremony- but none of the other altars fit such an out-of-the-way description.

I also think that Blinky would LOVE the drama that goes on behind the scenes of a Hachetfield High, and something about him having an amusement park also tells me that he may enjoy watching drama between children more than he does adults.

2- Grace Chastity may have a touch of "the gift"

My main reasons for thinking this comes from Abstinence Camp and NPMD.

First, Grace was able to get the ax-man to turn on Jerry and Jeri after a single conversation. The ax-man also gave her his ax as a symbol of passing the torch to her to protect the woods. I don't think that would have happened without a little intervention.

Secondly, after the scene with Richie's death, Grace wakes up and says she saw Max- looking angry and not hot at all- and while I do believe it was mainly played for laughs, SHE STILL SAW HIM. I don't know if it *was* just a dream, but dreams have been used as shorthand for having "the gift" before, and I don't believe in coincidence with these shows.

I don't think she has a strong version of "the gift" but I do believe that it's enough that her having the black book will end up being a problem for everyone else.

3- Was the "ghost" of Ethan really a ghost?

This one may seem strange, but Ethan died pretty violently in BF- and he was also at an altar when it happened. That vision Hannah saw of him- was it just a puppet of Wiggly, or was it a little closer to what Max is?

Is Max just more powerful because he made a more violent promise as his last words?

4- The entirety of season 2 is the same timeline

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but the main gist is that, if it happened in season 2, then it falls on one timeline in the Hachetfield saga.

Yellow Jacket is the last event in this timeline, and it starts with Perky's Buds.

Every story in this timeline mentions the Honey Festival. While at the Honey Festival, we get clear signs that things tie together.

In PB- Ziggs is making the pin-up girl specifically to be their mascot to present at the festival.

In AC- I'm pretty sure Steph says that she's going to miss the Honey Festival

HQ- this one is obvious.

Daddy- the mother says she's going to pick up a new father from the Honey Festival- she comes back with Ted.

KT- Ted and the mother flirting. Zoey's roommate asking for something that will ruin Zoey's voice.

YJ- young Sherman sitting on the counter at toy zone.

That's most of them for now- I have other thoughts, but none want to come to me rn. I may update this later with more.

[cringespace]

Max jägerman is either a secret theater kid or he researched theater terms to torment Ruth with

[theinternetmusicalguy]

MY TGWDLM THEORY (it’s probably not just mine, it’s probably really popular but I felt compelled to post nonetheless)

Hi! I’m Mylo, your resident TGWDLM obsessed guy. I’ve seen it 49 times (and counting!) with friends and by myself, so you start to notice a few things after seeing it that many times.  I actually developed this theory after like...my 5th watch, BUT I’D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD!  Uhh, warning, I’m gonna go off-track and on tangents I’m sorry in advance “ Do you mind if I give you the pitch? “ The musical is a reenactment put on by the aliens.  See, you’ve probably heard of this theory before, but I’m here to provide evidence! Here goes; IT IS CANON that non-infected people cannot hear the background music. (Which, by the way, I find to be a really cool detail, especially in Join Us and Die where everyone is...talking over the music, because they can’t hear it, and in Let it Out, where you can SEE Paul’s reaction to hearing the music for the first time oh my GOD Jon Matteson SLAYED that role and everything about it) This detail is important for the core of our theory, because if non-infected people can’t hear the music, how is the audience hearing it? How are we, the viewers, hearing the things only the aliens can hear? Because the audience must all be infected, the aliens are reperforming to themselves to retell the story.  I’ve also seen a theory going around that Emma got away? And I’m so so sorry to crush your bubble but if she got away she wouldn’t be in the opening number :( SPEAKING OF THE OPENING NUMBER The recap of everything fits perfectly with the theme of this being a reenactment. It’s to catch up to speed everyone listening!  ALSO! The meta jokes. The joke after Show Stopping Number to clear the stage (Should I take this chair?! I’ll get the piano!) wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t a reenactment. The slow-mo in the helicopter is another example of something that had to be added by the aliens.   I believe it’s also canon that it took 2(?) weeks for the infection to spread out of Clivesdale and across the globe so woohoo the world’s infected and my theory is probably correct!   You could argue; hey, it’s just a fictional musical! Duh, it’s gonna have musical gimmicks. AND TO THAT I SAY; STOP. PLEASE. (/lh) THIS MUSICAL MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME AND I WILL NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT LET ME *LIVE*  Final thoughts? uhh the world is doomed to become a musical love you guys enjoy not-singing while you can <3

[fancyfungal]

Ok so theory. Grace chastity is aro but allosexual. She never says anything about liking Max and in her song she sings "I don't care about you" but still finds him immensely hot.

She has no romantic interest in any of the men (which in this case is two) that are interested in her. For Max even if he wanted to have sex with Grace, he still asks her for a cuddle afterwards which kinda proves that he has more than a sexual interest in her. And for the second man shes the one that asks for a kiss and discards him right after she gets what she wants. Even though she says it was disgusting it's most likely her blaming her own problems on others and/or being in denial. I won't go into this now but it's shown in other parts of the musical.

Furthermore in nightmare time 2. When her friend asks if they could be more than friends she remains completely oblivious. I should also note she hasn't gone unhinged in nt2. Her unhingedness was caused by Max making outright sexual comments about her which causes her to have her first sexual thought ever. While in nt2 her friend was being more low-key and tried playing on the romantic aspect more.

I really like how they handled her honestly. The cliche thing that happens to characters similar to Grace is that their interested only in romance which sometimes is taken advantage of by their love interests (talking about some of the weird novels I've seen I'm not sure if this is a super common thing) but I'm just glad we got a character who isn't just aroace but is aro. It's either aroace or fully allo. Here's hoping this doesn't get ruined in future hachetfield projects.

[multi-fandom-noodle]

I can’t be the only one who has thought this.

If you’ve watched “tgwdlm” you probably noticed as well- at 1:48:54 during the credits,  It says "Featuring The Hachetfield High School band" Watch the big twist be that all the Hatchet Field trilogy musicals are just plays that the people who have been infected are putting on. They're telling the story of how Paul, Emma, and the gang we’re the ones who almost stopped the apotheosis but failed. Like how Americans tell the story of the British almost stopping them from becoming independent. It makes a pretty good bit of sense. Except for a few quirks here and there. Still, there has to be a reason they put that during the part of the credits where you would be focusing on Emma instead of the credits themselfs.

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

A theory

So you know how part of Prof. Hidgens's character is that he's a survivalist who's been planning for the apocalypse forever? What if all the world ending cataclysm hachetfield shows are just the various senarios he has played out in his head?