#h2o MILK

[hemlockpa]

hi tag lurkers !!! hate to be a pain or that of clogging up the tags but i just wondering if there are any admins’ free to assist me on the main? pretty much on my hands and knees begging for some help here as it has been a while since i ran a main. please like this post or dm me, whatever you feel comfortable with. 

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Artificer: hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water Artificer: my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and the gods so thoughtlessly Fighter: ... how does it taste? Artificer: bad Wizard: the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is- as an acid- sour. Wizard: By adding milk to sour water you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great. Artificer: I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

[incorrect-mighty-nein]

Jester: hey, I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

Jester: my cereal is loud and it’s wondering why I would sin against both god and nature so thoughtlessly

Fjord: …how does it taste…?

Jester: bad

Veth: the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is—as an acid—sour

Veth: so by adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I’ll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great

Jester: I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of the shittiest alchemist currently alive

[incorrectmlpstudentsixquotes]

Silverstream: I wonder what would happen if I put powdered milk in carbonated water?

(Minutes later…)

Silverstream: Update. My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and God so thoughtlessly.

Smolder: … But how did it taste?

Silverstream: Not great!

Ocellus: The fizziness of carbonated water comes from carbonic acid splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is, like most acids, sour.

Ocellus: By adding milk to sour water, you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk. So I wholeheartedly believe you when you say the results of your experiment were ‘Not great’.

Silverstream: I have mastered the potion ‘Instant Spoiled Milk’, thereby earning the rank of the shittiest alchemist alive.

[incorrect-star-allies]

Francisca: Hey, I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water...

Francisca: *adds powdered milk to carbonated water*

Francisca: My cereal is loud, and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and God so thoughtlessly!

Flamberge: How does it taste?

Francisca: *drinks the carbonated milk*

Francisca: Bad.

Zan Partizanne: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. The carbonic acid is, as an acid, sour.

Zan Partizanne: By adding milk to sour water, you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great(TM).

Francisca: I have mastered the potion "Instant Spoiled Milk", therefore earning the rank of Shittiest Alchemist Currently Alive.

[lomlhwa]

song of the sea (k.ys)

pairing: siren!yeosang x human!reader

preview: washing up on a remote island with no memories is scary enough. but when a siren song fills your ears in the dead of night, your skin crawls. with fear? or with excitement?

tags/warnings: fem reader, kinda cnc, auralism, lots of kissing, big dick!yeosang, his dick has... scales, degradation, like one pet name (doll), enough blood loss to be weakened, unprotected penetration cause yanno, desert island (wrap it before you tap it), creampie, uhhh he does fully eat and kill you at the end soooo...

trigger warnings: idk if being hypnotized by a siren song is cnc so uhhh, there's a cnc warning just in case. oh and you die at the end

wc: 2.2k

song recs for this fic: honestly? none

a/n: for context, this siren shit works like mako mermaids or h2o just add water. bro has a tail when in water, but on land has all the human limbs. but even on land, he has his lil siren powers. okay? okay. (don't have sex on the beach, it's uncomfortable and gross)

here's a link to what siren songs supposedly sound like!

you’re woken up by the cawing of seagulls flying around you. you immediately begin hacking up salty, bitter sea water. your hair is basically fused to the sand you’d been laying in. you have no idea where you are or how long you’ve been here. 

you get up off the ground, wiping the sand off your clothes to the best of your ability. you finally take in your surroundings. all you can see for miles ahead of you is deep, blue, open water. there’s a deep forest behind you; a mix of palm and pine trees. 

you make a few futile attempts to call for help. obviously, no one hears you. you’re here on this desert island all alone. your stomach grumbles and you wonder once again, just how long you’d been here. 

you wander over to a palm tree to find some coconuts. you find a shorter tree and shake it, letting two hefty coconuts fall into the sand. you honestly have no idea how to tell if a coconut is ripe enough to eat. you find a large rock to place the coconut on and find a slightly smaller one to smash it with.

after a couple hard hits, it bursts open. you rush to drink some of its nutty, sweet milk before it spills everywhere. you feel instantly relieved at the final liquid sustenance. you dig your fingers into its firm meat, raising it to your mouth. your stomach is almost instantly satiated by consuming it. 

you collapse back onto the sand softly, racking your brain for some way of getting out of here. no planes come by, no boats sail past, no one is ever going to find your deserted self. you figure you should do your best to try and find or make some shelter. 

you find a collection of large logs and set them up between a couple trees. you pack them in together, filled spaces with mud and leaves. the roof you managed to create is a mix of palm leaves and more mud. you can only hope that this will hold up for however long you’re here.

as the day fades away, you rest on the sand near the water. you watch as the sun sets into the water, turning the sky beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red. you watch as the sea goes from clear blue, to a deep dark blue, hiding whatever lies inside it. 

once the stars begin appearing, you lay back in the soft sand. you connect the constellations above you, admiring how bright they are tonight. the soft crashing of the waves and the calming activity of counting stars makes you feel drowsy. before you know it, you’re falling asleep on the sand, completely forgetting about your nicely made shelter from just a few hours before. 

you’re awoken by the feeling of pouring rain pelting your face. you quickly get up and rush to your make-shift house, relieved that it’s still standing. as soon as you settle, you feel like something’s missing. you look around, despite knowing you have none of your belongings.

but then, you look down. your shirt is missing. how on earth did you manage to lose your shirt? you peek out of your little window and find that it had been thrown just a few meters away from where you were sleeping. you dash out to grab your now soaked shirt and dash back into dry safety.

despite your shirt being sopping wet, you put it back on. you need to make use of your clothes while they’re still in good shape. you peek out of your window once again. you catch a glimpse of what seems to be something with a tail. 

it only appears once and only for a few seconds. but you swear on your life, it looks human. a mermaid, maybe? if it wasn’t raining so hard you’d go out and see what it is, maybe even strip down and swim around to find it. but right now, you just need to avoid getting hypothermia. 

the rain doesn’t let up until night has fallen again. you finally come out of hiding to see if the stars are lighting up the sky again. unfortunately, they’re hiding behind the clouds tonight. your stomach growls loudly, disturbing the quiet of the night. the clouds covering the stars makes it impossible to see if there are any more coconuts nearby. 

you walk around blindly for a moment, your arms outstretched in front of you. when your hands finally meet a tree, you shake it. you just shake and hope that there’s a coconut or two in it. luckily for you, there’s 3 coconuts in this tree. unluckily for you, one falls on your head and knocks you out. 

you come to what you assume is about midday. your head is pounding and you’re sure you probably have a goose egg on the top of your head. you get up and are blinded by the sun reflecting off the blue sea water. 

you gather the coconuts that you shook off the tree last night and take them back to your hut. when you enter your hut, you find that there are 4 coconuts inside. you know you didn’t put them there. so who else is on this island with you and providing coconuts?

your mind wanders back to the creature you’d seen the previous day. had it really been human after all? it sounds so silly that a human would be living in the water though. mermaids can’t walk so there’s no way that’s what it was. 

you shrug it off. as much as you should probably be concerned, you really don’t mind. more sustenance for you. you need to find a way to get off this island soon though. you could have a heart attack from too much coconut water.

you gather large rocks and sticks to create a make-shift ‘sos’ sign. you can only hope that it’ll be big enough for planes and helicopters that may fly past. with that out of the way, you crack open one of your many coconuts and feast on it.

when night falls again, you decide to sleep under the stars. you find the waves crashing to be extra calming when you’re closer to them. so, you get comfy in a pile of sand and admire the night sky.

the calming sound of the waves is interrupted by extra loud water crashing. you sit up, a little stunned. you rise just in time to, what you assume, is the same tail you’d seen previously. you see it flip and and out of the water under the moonlight.

you open your mouth to call out to whatever it is, but something interrupts you. the sound of an almost operatic song fills your ears. it’s alluring and mysterious to hear it coming from the dark water. 

before you have a chance to think, you begin losing control of your own body. you feel stuck to the ground as the tail in the water draws closer. it finally peeks it’s human head out of the water to peek at you. once you see it, your mind finally registers what you’re facing.

a siren.

the reason you hadn’t considered it before is because you assumed all sirens were female. that’s what mythology says. that’s what everyone says. but everyone was wrong. you’re face to face with a male siren right now. 

he’s singing his dangerous song to keep you where he wants you. he slithers out of the water and onto the sand. much to your surprise, he magically forms a pair of legs. he saunters towards you, his siren song not faltering once. 

before you know it, he’s right in front of you. he’s gorgeous. his sharp eyes pierce into your soul, keeping you entranced. you can see that he has dangerously sharp teeth, knowing they’re supposed to be for ripping humans apart. 

he runs his gray fingers down the side of your face, sharp nails grazing your cheek. despite his mouth finally being closed, the song continues to keep you pinned in place. he smiles a sinister smile at you.

“i’ve been watching you since you got here,” he says. you know he has. you’ve pieced everything from the last few days together and it all leads back to him. you nod, finding that he’s restricted your ability to speak.

“i’m gonna have fun with you, doll,” he snickers. “you washed up on the wrong island.” fear finally takes over your body. you know it’s futile to try and fight a siren song but you try anyway. you writhe and wiggle to try and free yourself from your invisible constraints. 

“no point in fighting it, you’re under my spell,” his words become distorted as he slightly changes his song. you find your body moving on its own accord; well, his accord. your hands move to remove your clothes; pulling your shirt over your head and pants down your legs. you reach back and unclasp your bra, letting it slide off. he stops you just before you move to take off your underwear. he wants to do that part himself. 

now that you’re topless and mostly bottomless, goosebumps rise on your exposed skin. the cool breeze from the night sea makes you shiver. the siren ghosts his cold fingers down your ribs and over your hip bones. your legs bend and you’re laid down on the sand once again. 

he finally connects his salty lips to your soft ones, feverishly kissing you. his sharp fang-like teeth graze your bottom lip once, splitting it open. he wildly suckles on your now open gash on your lip. you know he has a primal urge for human blood and human meat. you know your life is in danger and you can do nothing to stop it. 

he pulls away from you, his own lips bloody now. despite being a siren, his human form has a pair of black boxers on, probably for decency when encountering someone on land. he sheds those from his body. you manage to look down for a split second, catching a glimpse of what seems to be scales on his length. 

he finally takes your panties off your cold, sandy body. he graces your clit with the rough pad of his finger, but only to get your hole weeping for him. it was a fleeting sense of pleasure. it had your back arching sporadically. 

he lines up his leaking, pink cock with your entrance. you shudder, wondering what his raised scales are going to feel like inside you. he changes his song again, so slightly that you almost didn’t notice. you only notice because your body starts moving on its own; your hips lifting up, welcoming his length.

he shoves into you quickly, sheathing himself to hilt instantly. the scales scrape your walls deliciously. the edges of them lift and catch on your insides, sending waves of pleasure through your entire body. 

he thrusts into you at a quick pace, his song making you more sensitive than you ever thought you could be. even just a few thrusts have you shaking and sputtering under him. he grips your waist with his bony fingers tightly.

his nails pierce your skin and you’re reminded that you are in inevitable danger because of the man currently inside you. blood spills out of you as your high creeps up on you. your mind goes hazy at the blood loss. you hit your high out of nowhere, your walls clamping down on him.

your walls closing in on him sent him over the edge; the tightness milking him of his seed. he momentarily stills, almost letting the song slip. his mouth hangs open, no sound escaping. he pulls out of you, admiring the way his seed spills out of you. 

you almost hope that he’ll just slither away, back into the ocean. but, he doesn’t. he pulls his black boxers back on. he bares his sharp teeth at you. you want to crawl away and hide. anything to get away from him.

his demeanor changes instantly. from lust to hunger. he bites into your arm, just below the shoulder. he bites a chunk out of your skin, down to the bone. you watch as he eats your skin and muscle in front of you. your body hasn’t registered the pain yet.

when your body finally registers the pain, it’s once he’s ripped your arm completely off your body. you cry out, screaming into the night. he repeats the same actions with your other arm. your throat is becoming raw from screaming in pain. 

he sits next to you, eating your arms like chicken wings. he’s consuming you and simultaneously getting off on your fear. once your arms are nothing but cartilage and bone, he discards them. he chooses to go for your jugular next; more blood, less meat. your death in his hands. 

he tongues at your throat before baring his teeth again. he sinks his teeth into your neck slowly, savoring your pain. your cry out a final time before he completely pierces your throat. he rips out your trachea, waving his head around like a dog with a bone. 

the red hot searing pain takes over your entire body, making you dizzy. it burns through you, your nerves on fire. you feel as the blood pours out of you, staining the sand and your hair. tears fall from your eyes, but without your throat, you can’t really cry.

you watch as he devours what was once your airway. you’re disgusted by the sight but you can’t do anything about it. 

finally, you lose consciousness. permanently. 

© lomlhwa 2023

[kwonzoshi]

“Listen, all I’m saying is that once you add the pound of sugar, gallon of creamer and the 20 pumps of syrup it kind of stops being coffee.” Jordan said, taking a slow sip of their Americano. They were in their feminine form, as they usually were when it was the three of them. The girls didn’t ask Jordan to do it, it just felt… right to them.

Emma rolled her eyes, “Just cause you like to drink bitter, watered down, bean water doesn’t mean you get to shit on my drink, Jordan. I like what I like, deal with it.”

“Yeah,” Marie piped in, taking a sip of her chocolate mocha, “Some people enjoy flavor.”

“I do enjoy flavor. The flavor of coffee. If I want a dairy filled sugar drink, I’d just get a milkshake.” They shrugged, “It’s not my fault you two lack the refined palate it takes to truly appreciate a decent cup of coffee.”

Emma laughed, throwing her head back and slapping the table, “You are drinking WATERED DOWN COFFEE right now. No milk. No sugar. Just bean water. Refined palate my ass. That shit sounds gross.” She took a sip of her peppermint mocha, “You water your espresso down with h2o we water it down with creamer and syrup. There’s really not much difference.”

“I’m just shook that they think a milkshake and a blended coffee are somehow interchangeable?! Those are two COMPLETELY different drinks, Jordan. Two different drinks for two different moods.” She squinted her eyes and tilted her head at them in confusion.

They rolled their eyes at Marie, “I know they're not interchangeable, okay, I’m not a moron.”

“That’s debatable.” Emma interjected, chuckling quietly.

“ANYways,” they continued, sparing Emma a quick glare, “all I’m saying is that when I want coffee I want coffee. If I want something sweet, there are other options. That was all. Christ.” They leaned back in their chair and finished their drink. “You ready?” They asked Marie, “We gotta go decorate our tree.”

They stood and reached their hand out to Marie, who took it and linked her fingers with theirs. Emma made an exaggerated gagging sound as the two held hands. “I’d rather drink a large Americano than be in your presence while you do couply shit. Text me when you’re done fucking in our room. Later!” With that she walked away. The other two had no clue where she was even going but they knew she could handle her own.

They made their way out of the Student Union building, and towards the dorms. Their hands remained linked as they walked across campus in comfortable silence. They’d been dating a little over a year, and had gone through many unimaginable things together. But in these moments, these sweet sweet moments, none of that even mattered.

I had this idea and I had to write it.

[incorrectcultofthelambquotes]

Leshy: hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

Leshy: my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against nature so thoughtlessly

Heket: ... how does it taste?

Leshy: bad

Kallamar: the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time. And carbonic acid is- as an acid- sour.

Kallamar: By adding milk to sour water you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great.

Leshy: I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

[smolturtleturdiary]

•☆♡Milk-Shake's Rules♡☆•

🧸 Morning Coffee/Green Tea ♡

🧸 Daily intake of fiber/protein ♡

🧸 Daily, 2 30-40min workouts ♡

🧸 No Sugar ♡

🧸 Monthly body checks ✔️ ♡

🧸 No eating AFTER 7PM ♡

🧸 Initiate weekly/monthly diets/goals ♡

🧸 No eating above 600 cals ♡

🧸 No binge eating ♡

🧸 Fast if binged 16h 20h 48h ♡

🧸 Mondays are for fasting ♡

🧸 Daily weigh in ♡

🧸 Track all In-out cals No exceptions ♡

🧸 Take gum for hunger pangs/Green Tea ♡

🧸 Liquid cals allowed-H2o, coffee,tea, drinks under 10cals ♡

♡ Feel free to copy edit etc

[shortcake-incorrect-quotes]

Huckleberry Pie: Hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

Huckleberry Pie, 20 minutes later: My cereal is loud and it’s demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and God so thoughtlessly

Peppermint Fizz: How’s it taste?

Huckleberry Pie: Bad

Blueberry Muffin: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time, and carbonated acid is, as an acid, sour. By adding milk to sour water you’ve created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk.

Huckleberry Pie: I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk!

Peppermint Fizz: Therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

[georgiapeach30513]

Step Into My Ride, Part 2

Summary:  Ransom and his family do not get along

Pairings:  Ransom Drysdale X Reader

Rating:  explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut, PIV sex, unprotected sex, sex in public, creampie, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  5.3K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“Gracie Lou Drysdale!” Harlan greets the three of you at the door, and Gracie runs right to him, wrapping her arms around his legs. “Come on in, and tell me all about your week at school. Ransom. Lucky,” he gives the two of you a head nod, leading his favorite great granddaughter inside.

“Luck, I hate coming here,” your boyfriend gives you a little pout, wiggling his legs, mimicking one of Gracie’s rare baby tantrums. He really was deep down just a spoiled child. He wasn’t getting out of weekly dinners with Harlan though. “If my parents could stay away, it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Ransom, you need to put your big boy pants on. Gracie loves your grandpa. She tolerates your mom. But for heaven’s sake, quit with this spiel every time we come here.”

“She hates my dad. And I swear, if he makes one comment to you or our daughter, I’m going to lose my shit. Harlan can start coming to the house for dinner.”

“Now there is an idea,” you smile at him. You would much rather have Harlan at your house, and in Gracie’s element any day of the week. “I could make us food, and we wouldn’t have to deal with…” a soft groan exits Ransom’s mouth as a dust cloud is spotted in the distance. “Come on, babe. Let’s go inside so we don’t have to explain to your parents why you’re in a bad mood.”

He still wants to complain that his parents always hijack his nice evening with Harlan and Gracie. There’s always a stupid comment made, typically by his father. Ransom always gets in a terrible mood and snaps right back at him. You always lead Harlan and Gracie outside and away from the chaos. Always.

Harlan adored Gracie just as much as she did him. If it was warm he would walk straight to the back yard, and sit on a bench with her and listen to all her odd behaviors from the week prior. Gracie loved to try different things. She took cues from her classmates on their own allergies, or way of speech and would incorporate them in her own routine for a few days, until she realized she was over that.

“Uno. Dos. Tres,” you hear your sweet daughter count with Harlan in Spanish. Ransom goes up beside her when Linda and Richard strut into the sitting area. What was a shame is how much Gracie wanted to impress her grandparents. “Oh! Oh! Gigi and Dink,” Ransom can’t help but to snort at the name that Gracie bestowed upon Richard, turning to look at his daughter that was so proud of something.

“I learned how to count to ten in Spanish. Uno. Dos. Tres. Cuatro.”

“Seriously? Spanish,” Richard was already rolling his eyes as he goes to the bar cart. Ransom is already sitting up straighter, ready to attack his father. “They should teach you something more useful at that expensive school. It’s confusing enough for kids these days. And now they’re teaching you another language when you haven’t even perfected English. What next? French?”

“Bonjour means hello,” she smiles, looking up at Harlan who gives her a kiss on her forehead. You bite at your tongue when Richard lets out an annoyed growl. Ransom’s family. He dealt with them. “And hola means hello in Spanish. Aren’t you proud?”

“Proud you're wasting my money like your father did?”

“My money,” Linda interjects when Ransom starts to say something. “Can we not argue for a moment? I think your speaking of different languages is commendable. What else did you learn this week?”

“I’m gluten free, and I’m not H2O intolerant. But I am a bit lactose intolerant, so mommy got me banana milk, and,” she gets the biggest smile as she turns her head to look at Harlan, “Daddy puts chocolate syrup in it.”

“Milk chocolate syrup?” Richard sits across from Ransom, giving his actual granddaughter an annoyed look. “I thought you were lactose intolerant?”

“Only this week. But banana milk is really good, Dink,” Gracie didn’t even understand, and you wanted her to keep her innocence as much as possible. She was adorable, and so proud. “And…I think I can’t have eggs next week.”

“Linda, your granddaughter is neurotic.”

“What’s neurotic?”

“Gracie Lou, how about you, me, and grandpa go make some chocolate banana milk? I’m sure he’ll love it as much as you do,” walking over towards her, you hold out your hand. It would be so much more simple if Harlan could come to you. Let Ransom refuse to see his parents, especially if a four year old they saw for a couple of hours each week bothered them so much.

“But what’s neurotic?”

“Just something Dink likes to criticize about. It’s always something, huh, father? She’s four years old. She’s learning who she is.”

“And confused as to what allergies are. Next she’s going to want to shave her head, and you two are going to let her, aren’t you?”

“Us two are going to let our daughter be who she is. Because she is ours. How we raise her is our business. Her trying a life without eating eggs is not hurting anyone. Her saying she’s lactose intolerant is hurting no one. And the fucking chocolate syrup didn’t have milk in it,” Gracie gasps as you quickly usher her and Harlan away from the chaos, but she caught her dad’s words.

“See what you did? You make me and your mother be the bad guy every time.”

“Do not include me in this conversation. I liked hearing her count in Spanish.”

“The child can barely count in English, and that expensive damn school is trying to teach her something else.”

“For your information, Gracie can count to one hundred. She’s already reading, and she writes her full name. She’s four years old. And she’s one of the top in her class. Why are you always shitting on who she is? She’s amazing, and you don’t even realize it. She’s got negotiating skills better than mom. And remember, she’s my daughter. If you hate her and me, and my girlfriend so much, why do you come here?”

“I’ll tell you why you little prick,” Richard slams his glass down on the table causing Linda to flinch, rolling her eyes and ready to leave the two of them to the arguing. “You squandered away all your potential. Working at a fucking garage as a grease monkey with the worst influence of your life, Dean Winchester. You’re getting speeding tickets, and spending the night in jail a few times a year. You live in that piece of shit trailer, and you’re shacked up with some whore who takes pornographic pictures of other women.”

Ransom stands to leave, walking towards the kitchen, “You won’t talk about my girlfriend and daughter like that. You won’t see any of us ever again.”

“Then put a goddamn ring on her finger, and make an honest woman out of her. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life with the first woman that spreads her legs and doesn’t know the value of safe sex. The two of you never should have had a child. Your mother pays for her school. You can’t even afford it.”

“Yeah, well, mom insisted on paying. Insisted on the school. Not me. I’m a good fucking father, and Lucky is the best mother I have ever met. We love and enjoy our daughter. She’s spoiled with attention and affection, and that’s a hell of a lot more than I can say for you. I don’t know why I bother dealing with you. You never have anything to say about me and my family. So from now on, don’t expect to be a part of our lives,” his eyes flick to the door when Chris walks in. “There you have it. The son you always wanted. Lucky, let's go,” he screams into the kitchen at you.

“Don’t expect to see my child ever again. You lost that privilege by calling her mother a whore.”

“I don’t want to go. I miss grandpa,” she curls more into Harlan, and he gives her a quick kiss to the top of her head, holding her closer.

“Baby, grandpa is going to start coming to our house for dinner, okay? You can wear your pretty dresses, and show him your room, and the house, okay?”

“You promise?” Harlan nods at her before she gives him the biggest hug, and you scoop her up.

“Head out the side door, sweetheart. Don’t take her around that,” you know it’s the best option. Gracie never heard arguing like that. She was well adjusted because you and Ransom let her try and figure out what she liked, and who she was without telling her. Encouraged all her ideas and new interests, and never made her feel bad for deciding she didn’t like something. “Gracie, you think grandpa can see you tomorrow?”

“Yes. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Gracie Lou.”

“You can’t keep my granddaughter from me,” Richard walks up to Ransom, “And take that stupid hat off your head. You’re not a child.”

“I can keep my daughter away from you all I want. She’s mine and her mother’s.”

“If you would have applied yourself like your uncle Chris, you might have made a few million by now. And even he didn’t live up to his own potential. Both of you could have made more money doing other things.”

“And money made you happy?” Ransom smirks heading towards the door, “Your number will be blocked, so don’t expect a call back. Chris, I’ll talk to you later. Mom, learn to control your bitch.”

“You asshole!”

“Richard!” Ransom finishes closing the door when Harlan comes back in. “You’re the one acting like an ass. Your granddaughter was trying to impress you and make you proud, and you dismissed it so quickly. Your son is trying to tell you he is happy. That is the life he chose, and you can either accept it, or you can keep your opinions out of my house. I will not make you feel that any of them are not welcome here. That is my grandson, and his beautiful family. I can’t help it that you don’t like the life that he chose as an adult.”

“That woman poisoned him.”

“That woman doesn’t have a rap sheet. He does. He had that before he even met her. That woman is who calmed him down. That woman is the person that co-signed with the garage because she had credit, and he didn’t. That woman is the one who stood by his side when he was in jail for two months, and she was pregnant with his kid. That woman is the reason they have land, and a home. And if you make one comment about their home, so help me God, Richard, I will kick you out of my house. He is happy. And for you to criticize the woman that has made him a better man than even you is rich. She has stuck by his side no matter what. She is loyal to him, and she’s a damn good mother. Did you ever think Ransom would be a good father? I figured he’d leave the woman to deal with the child herself, while you were left paying child support. Be thankful he’s a good man.”

“He’s trash. He could have been so much more.”

“So could you. Christopher, have Fran bring my food to the study. You can join me if you would like, or you can head to Ransom and Lucky’s. I’m done with this conversation,” slowly he makes his way up the stairs, leaving Chris staring at his older sister’s nails clicking on the table.

“Well, this was a royal fuck up. Richard, our son’s lifestyle isn’t my favorite, but I want a relationship with quite possibly our only grandchild. If he’s anything like us, he’ll know to stop with just the one. She’s a precocious child, but I want to be in her life besides just paying her school with my money. Don’t forget, it’s my money. I’m going home. Call a car to come get you. I need my space.”

Richard stands to go back to the bar cart, filling his glass with more scotch before sitting down to stare at Chris, “Ransom isn’t all that bad.”

“My son is in a relationship with his baby mama who has fake tits, and takes pictures of naked women.”

“You sound jealous,” Chris rolls his eyes. Deciding he was going to spend time with his father even if he felt Ransom, the grandson, was his favorite. “And I’m not sure if you're jealous of Ransom for being with her or her for the career she has. It’s boudoir photos. They’re not always naked.”

“I’m not jealous. Women like her, you just don’t marry.”

“They’re not married are they? And what does it matter to you?” It mattered to Chris. Chris was supposed to be the one with you. He could admit he was jealous of Ransom. Because Ransom got to have you whenever he wanted. That was supposed to be his life. He was offering you comfort and stability. But you were blinded by the fast pace Ransom, just like everyone else was. But if everything continued down this path, Ransom wouldn’t have that for long.

“I bet you’re holding out hope they never get married. She’ll never want you. Why would you want Ransom’s sloppy seconds anyways? Or their little brat.”

“Hey! You can say what you want about Ransom, but you leave Gracie out of it.”

“Why? Is she secretly your kid? I did always doubt her mother being faithful to Ransom. She did get pregnant pretty quickly. Ransom only stayed because he thought he knocked her up. She knew how to pick them. Too bad she didn’t realize you were the actual Thrombey, huh? She got those fake tits out of him though. I guess it seems fair considering he’s the one that gets to play with them.”

“You’re sick, Richard,” no one liked Richard. He was a misogynistic asshole. Even when Chris left his side, he could still hear Richard mumbling about his son and you. Chris just wanted the day to come when you realized that Ransom was bad news. He would be a better father to Gracie. No matter what Richard thought of you, Chris knew it was all lies. Chris knew you. Knew you better than Ransom, and knew you better than you knew yourself. He just needed you to understand that.

Karma would eventually take care of Ransom. He swooped in with his charm and fast car, and Chris didn’t even realize Ransom took you away from him until it was too late. Had walked in on you messily sucking Ransom’s dick after a race. He didn’t even know his nephew was the other man you had been dating. He knew that there was another one, but the few dates you and Chris went on they were fun. You laughed, and he was a gentleman. Ransom treated you like a whore.

It just made him sick to his stomach to think about how he made you drop to your knees and suck him off whenever he wanted. Or how he would drag you to his car, while everyone else was paying attention to the race while he fucked you like a dirty secret. Until you got pregnant, Chris wasn’t even sure if Ransom had ever taken you to his apartment or even if this was supposed to be anything more than sex.

Ransom knew exactly what he was getting with you, but Chris knew you had no idea who the real Ransom was. But soon you would know. Everyone would know. And Chris would be there as the constant and steady man that you needed. And now, even Gracie needed.

“Ran,” whispering his name as he rolls his fingers around your nipples. He did this when he got to thinking. Getting in his head about what his father and him were arguing about.

“You know I don’t think about you like that, right?” He lifts his head off your chest, and you nod, giving him a sweet kiss. “I respect you above all else. I mean, yeah, we have a ton of fun with the racing and sex, but I don’t regret giving it all up. I don’t regret living here with you.”

“People can say what they want to, but our trailer isn't that small. And this is our home. Gracie has had all her firsts here. She’s got little lines in the living room showing us how tall our baby is getting. I don’t care about what your parents think you or we should have done. I love our life. I don’t care that you’ve got a mile long rap sheet. I don’t care that you act like a teenage boy most of the time because when it counts, you’re the greatest man I know. You’re good to me and to our baby. You’re good to Dean. Ransom, they don’t see us as a family. They see you. And me and our flaws apart. But not how we overcome them together.”

“You’re right,” he sighs, flipping over to his back before pulling you on top of him. “Gracie is amazing.”

“She is. I hate that they don’t see you or us the way you deserve. But Harlan does. He sees all of us. And that’s good enough for me. Plus, Gracie Lou is a perfect judge of character, and she can’t stand Richard. Tolerates your mom, but wants to see Harlan everyday. Now, my pretty man, get you some sleep.”

“Do you regret the implants?”

“Do you?” With a devilish grin he shakes his head no. “You remember how I hated looking at myself in the mirror after Gracie? Or even how I didn’t want you to see me? Baby, I don’t care that people know I have implants or they judge me because of them. That’s their problem. They’re not the ones that have to look at them. We are.”

“Damn straight. And I like playing with them.”

“You better quit for tonight,” yawning, despite his playful protest. “I’m tired. I can’t have sex again.”

“Oh, you can if I want you to,” you smack at his chest, giggling. “Alright, Luck, get you some sleep. I’m sorry today went the way it did.”

“Me, too, Ran. I hate that going there makes you feel worse. You love seeing Harlan. But, he’s going to start coming here. Even if you have to go get him. Sweet dreams, husband.”

“You know I’m not lying when I say one of these days I’m going to propose, right? Right? Luck, you and Gracie are all I need in this world.”

“Mhmm. One of these days we’ll all share the same last name. But for tonight, go to sleep,” stretching out his arms, Ransom relaxes a bit more. Before his breathing starts to slow and you listen to your favorite lullaby as you fall asleep. The beat of his heart, and his breathing. It was heaven in its own little way. And you wanted this to be yours forever.

“Dean-o!” You shout, walking into the garage, waving your hands as you look in the back for Ransom’s car. “Good, he’s gone to get the baby?”

“Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you, Lucky Charm?” You fidget your fingers around, trying to avoid looking into Dean’s eyes. His loyalty was definitely to Ransom. Friends since grade school. Inseparable. “Is this about you two not being married? Luck, that man is completely in love with you, marriage or not. You’ve got him.”

“No. I’m not worried about that. When the time is right, I know that Ran and I…we’re forever, and I don’t need marriage to prove that. It’s just…you would tell me if he was getting into something more illegal than the racing, yeah?”

He grabs up a rag, wiping his greasy hands on the dirty cloth before he leans back on the car. Suddenly you don’t feel so good about asking Dean. You have always been able to talk to Ransom, so why was something Chris brought up hard for you to ask about? “What’s this about?”

“I had someone make a comment about Ran doing something more for money.”

“Like what? Running drugs? He doesn’t touch that shit, and you know that. A little bit of weed never hurt anyone, but…no, Ransom would never do that. That puts you and Gracie in too much danger. This right here,” holding his hands out, Dean spins around slowly in the garage. A garage that he and Ransom had built up slowly, and in time they became the most respected garage in Boston. “This is where Ransom and I make our honest money. He doesn’t want to lose this. It’s our dream.”

“Well…what about stolen parts? Or guns? Or anything besides the racing? Are you and Ransom into anything more illegal than that? A couple of months in jail doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is if he’s sent off for hard time. Be honest with me.”

“No. I don’t know what idiot put that shit in your head, but no. Ransom does exactly what you see him do. He works here for legit cash. He races for extra cash, and before that racing was put right back into here, and it bought your little dream home. If Ransom was doing something he should be doing, believe me, I would tell you, but he’s not.”

“He’s not doing what?” Ransom flicks his head over towards Dean, but then hungrily stalks towards you. “I can tell you one thing I’m not doing.”

“Where’s our daughter?”

“Mom has her at Harlan’s, and dad is on a business trip, so don’t look at me like that. Mom is trying for what it’s worth, and Harlan won’t let anything happen to that angel. So, why don’t you and I go over the books in the office?” You hated when he asked you to go over the books. There was so much overhead to consider in this business, and thankfully you were savvy enough with finances because him and Dean were clueless.

You told him that he needed to hire someone who actually knew what they were doing. Walking into the office, Ransom turns the blinds, and locks the door before he places your body on the desk. Pulling at your jeans’ button, and you just smile at him tugging away your pants. “What are you doing?”

“When was the last time I fucked you in here?”

“The time I got pregnant. You had just opened the garage. You swore to me that I couldn’t get pregnant because you were drunk, and so were your tadpoles.”

“I didn’t say that,” moving down to take off your panties, he stuffs them into his pocket. Holding up his hands to show that they were in fact clean before he diddles around your bundle of nerves. That cocky little Ransom Drysdale grin on his face. “I mean, I was drunk. I didn’t say tadpoles.”

“Yes. Yes, you…you did,” his free hand was already undoing his pants, letting his cock spring free from their confines. This man always made you a mess. “You said…said that you’ve called them tadpoles since you watched ‘Look Who’s Talking’. And…and…” your breathing picks up as you get closer to release, eyeing his pretty little dick while he was playing with your cunt. You didn’t care how many fingers he added into you, it was never as good as his cock.

“Ransom just put it in.”

“This is so romantic.”

“About as romantic as you fucking me here with the blinds open. Stuffing my cunt full of your seed, and we made a baby that night. The first time and last time you came in me until…until I missed…missed a period.”

“Yeah, well, made your little blissed out brain from the best head you have ever had you would have known better than to trust me drunk.”

“Just fuck me!”

“Alright!” He laughs, pushing through your tight channel. Giving you no time to adjust before he was gripping at your legs and rutting into your warmth. The two of you had grown a bit. The door was locked, the blinds were closed, he was sober, and you had birth control. What you thought was a mistake was the best thing that could have ever happened to you and Ransom.

What you thought was casually dating and fucking became the best relationship either of you had ever had. Honest, loving, caring, and so much fun. There was never a dull moment with Ransom, and the way that he stepped up to become a dad was the favorite role he had ever taken.

Some things didn’t change however. He kept his hat on backwards. Kept his pants down at his ankles for a quickie in public. He fucked into you like the two of you were running a marathon. Fast and needy. Your eyes locked into one another so you can watch the pleasure overtake your features. And the sounds he made, my god, Ransom made the prettiest sounds. He was so vocal, and it made you feel like the most perfect thing on earth.

You could feel his cock twitching inside of you, but with a calming breath from him, he holds off on his release. Waiting until you came before he even thought about reaching his own high. He was a generous partner. Placing his knuckles on the desk, he brings his face closer to you, peppering the sweetest splay of kisses over your face, despite the urgency of his thrusts. He confused your senses, and you craved more.

Desperately mewling out his name as you grab hold of his back. Circling your legs around him, and bringing him closer to you. His body starts to lay you down flat on the desk, while his hips drive him deeper into your core. “Lucky, let go, sweetheart. I know you want to,” his voice sounded wrecked. He was right on the edge of not being able to hold on anymore. “Lucky!”

“I’m…I’m right…Ran, I’m coming!”

One final thrust has him painting your quivering walls, and he lets his head rest on your chest. Blowing out shallow breaths on you while your walls milk him dry. The tiniest little jabs into you, until his body just halts movement. “You about didn’t get to orgasm.”

“I’m sorry. You’re just so pretty when you're grunting with every stab into me. Ran…this really isn’t the time, but — if you were doing something that would get you sent to prison, you would tell, right? We’re a team here.”

“What makes you think I’m doing anything illegal?”

“Well…Chris made a comment.”

“Mother fucker,” he rolls his eyes as he pulls out of you, “Stay right there. I need to see you weep of me while we have this conversation. Look, Chris is going to say whatever he can to make you doubt me. He’s a good enough guy, he helps me and Dean out with races, but that stupid bastard is still hung up on you.”

“Don’t call him a bastard,” one trickle of Ransom’s spunk makes a smile turn up on his mouth, and he reaches into the floor for your panties. Sliding them up your legs. You were going to be left a mess as you head home.

“I apologize that your little pet project hates being called a bastard. What I mean is that must have been some amazing head you gave him,” you give him a playful smack on his arm, and he shrugs, laughing. “I’m just saying, that man isn’t going to quit unless you think I’m the terrible person he wants you to believe I am, you know that. He wants you to see that he’s this amazing pillar of the community when he’s the one doing illegal shit. He’s a cop and helping a bunch of street racers clear the roads. Come on now. I deal with him because he’s family, and he helps out, but you see what he’s doing. He wants you to leave me and go with him.”

“And you don’t have a problem with that?”

“Do you want to be with him?” Your nose furls up as you shake your head, and Ransom helps you back into your pants. “I’m not concerned. I know who you love. I know whose bed you’re getting into every night. I know whose cock you're riding every night. Whose name you’re squealing every night. Luck, if you don’t want him involved in our business, fine. He’s done. But if you want to believe the seeds he’s planting in your brain, I’m not going to defend myself. You know what I do. And you know I would never make it to where I couldn’t see our daughter everyday. You tell me what you want to do with Chris, and it’s done. And quit denying that nothing happened between the two of you. He’s chasing you around like a lovesick puppy even though he’s seen my cum dripping down your leg.”

“Oh, shut up,” jumping off the desk, your arms wrap around Ransom as you smile up at him. “I really don’t want to talk about what did or did not happen with your uncle because it’s weird. I didn’t know you knew each other much less were related, but I never had sex with him.”

“Good. This pussy is mine. But if you want Mr. Deputy Do Good, you let me know. I’ll let you walk away without a fight. Live downtown in that apartment that he can barely afford, but I keep the kid.”

“Oh, no. She stays with me.”

“Then I suggest you stay with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good,” tilting your chin up, he gives you the sweetest kiss, and pulls your left arm from around his body, holding it still while he slides a ring on your finger. “I would hate to take this back.”

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale!” You scream looking at your finger. He didn’t need to get on his knees and propose. He already had, but this was the actual ring on your finger. You hold out your hand admiring the small diamond and the way it sparkles. “It’s perfect.”

“Now give me about four more years, and we’ll get married.”

“We’re doing our bigs in fours, huh? First a baby. Four years to get a ring. Four more years to get a last name change.”

“I’m glad you get it, Luck. Hey, I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“And maybe later you can show me what that mouth do, so I can see why Chris is so obsessed with you,” you roll your eyes as you open the door to the office, getting a quick look up from the hood of a car and smirk from Dean. “I’m serious!”

“What’s sad is I know you are. Dean, you keep this one out of trouble. I’m going to pick up Gracie, and go to the grocery store. You and Valerie are welcome to come over.”

“No, we’re not fighting right now, so maybe I can get some desk action, too. Ransom likes to brag a lot. You better go get cleaned up before going to the store.”

“Behave boys! Ran, I’ll see you when you get home fiancé,” prancing on out of the garage you feel lighter already. Ransom had no reason to lie to you, and Chris obviously had every reason. You hated this type of thinking. You were with Ransom, and nothing was going to change that. As far as you were concerned, Ransom was perfect. A bit rough around the edges, but that bad boy appeal really got to you. A bad boy with a heart of gold, and a soft spot for his daughter. How could it get any better than this?

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season​ @marveloustaylortot​ @pono-pura-vida​ @sstan-hoe​ @softsatnin​ @missusbarnes-rogers​ @peaches1958​ @seitmai​ @smile1318​ @andydrysdalerogers​ @cjand10​ @saiyanprincessswanie​

[the-incorrect-quotes-show]

Harvest Moon: I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

Harvest: My cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and God so thoughtlessly

Blood Moon: ... How does it taste?

Harvest: Bad

Eclipse: The fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO2 and H2O over time, and carbonic acid is - as an acid - sour

Eclipse: By adding milk to sour water, you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great™

Harvest: I have mastered the potion Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of Shittiest Alchemist Currently Alive

[megastarwiley]

anyway guys i miss wrestlemania so much i still think about it so here are some crowd moments i still think about because everyone there was so fun.

i sat in the nosebleeds (i think i was section 207 right behind the ring but like all the way up) but i do not care

the guy in front of me, when cody’s music hit on night 2, clapping and shouting to the whole section, "LETS GET IT BOYS!"

my poor father being so confused when everybody was calling rhea "mami"

the little boy behind me on night 1, dressed as cody, being SO EXCITED to see him. i have never seen a 7 year old with such energy at such late hours of the night

the "turn the lights off" chants and the cheers when they would listen to us

^^ additionally, the production team turning them back on after the first time just to troll us and instantly turning them back off

my entire section singing randy’s music. sadly i dont think anyone else did

everyone’s collective "ohhh my god" moment when seth came out on night 2 in the blue owl gear

the pop when awesome truth won

my section chanting "thank you punk!" when damian cashed in

everybody being united in their hatred for logan paul

^^ chants were, "gatorade", "powerade", "we want water!", "h2o" & my section tried to start a "chocolate milk"

people in front of me acknowledging roman & the bloodline with their middle fingers

EVERYBODY freaking out during the main event.

^^ the guy in front of me & i, at the same time, went, "MOXLEY?!" when the shield music hit

the pop for brandi’s appearance

there wasnt a dry eye left there when cody won.

& of course, the fireflies

i love the wwe universe.

[gamesunlimitedgamesbutnogames]

Robbie Daymond Quotes from the 2023 FanExpo Vancouver Critical Role Panel~

——————

1. "Yeah i want Taliesin in my attic"

2. "Your name's H2O? Did you know that there's oat milk back there called H2oats?"

3. "oh god, i almost asked "Do you have friends?""

3. "I'm still alive. That's all i know, I'm still alive"

4. "Travis and i are kindred-spirits, dad bros forever"

5. "Do the bird people get to fly?? I wanna be a biiird boyyyy"

6. Person: "name my next dnd character!"

Robbie: "uh uh uh, BOBLIN THE GOBLIN!"

a few seconds later after being unsatisfied with that one & being forced to quickly come up with something else: "JIMOTHY MCPUNCHY"

[willesredlights]

♡9 fandom peeps to get to know better♡

➤ tagged by: thank you @nerdyfangirl76 for tagging me💜

➤ three ships I like: wilmon, malec, bughead (Betty and Jughead) (let's pretend the writers didn't mess up bughead)

➤ first ship ever: Either Zane and Rikki from h2o or Kendall and Jo from Big Time Rush (lmao)

➤ last song you heard: Yo Dije OUFF by Omar Rudberg

➤ favorite childhood book: When I was a child I was really obsessed with the "Fantasia" (kingdom of fantasy) books from the Geronimo Stilton series

➤ currently reading: not much😅 Going to pick up on fanfic now I have the time

➤ currently watching: NCIS (season 1 atm)

➤ currently consuming: chocolate milk

➤ currently craving: some rest, a chill day

Not tagging anyone in particular because I'm late with this and since I wasn't very active on here for a week or so I don't know who has done this already. But if you want to do this you can pretend I did tag you :))