#guys. guys please.

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

Bruce: **staring at Clark intently for a long time**

Clark: "What is it?"

Bruce: "Do you have an appendix?"

Clark: "What?"

Diana: "Bruce, that's rude. You can't just ask someone if they have an appendix."

Bruce: "So we're just not going to talk about **gesturing vaguely at Clark** this?"

Victor: "I was actually wondering this myself. I mean, the evolutionary implications alone are staggering. Does this mean we have a common ancestor? Are we Kryptonians? Are they human? Is this a nessecary evolutionary path for all advanced life forms in the galaxy?"

Clark: **panicking** "Oh my god. I don't know."

Barry: **freaking out** "What do you mean you don't know?!"

Clark: "Get me a mirror, quick!"

Barry: **running in a blur and getting a mirror**

Clark: **trying to x-ray himself with a mirror, half crying** "What am I???"

Bruce: **exasperated and a 100% hiding how freaked out he actually is** "That's not how your vision works."

--------------------

Later...

Bruce: **meeting J'onn in his Martian form for the first time, losing his goddam mind** "This is so much worse."

--------------------

Later later...

Hal: "I mean, most of the folks I meet are human-like, so it's not that weird."

Bruce: **holding his sanity by a fucking thread** "Most???"

Hal: "Oh you should meet Mogo. He's a sentient planet and a Lantern."

Bruce:

Hal: "He's not very friendly though... I think you'll like him."

Bruce: **leaves and never returns**

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

guys i LIKE THE HEADCANONS AND AUS. I ENJOY THEM. I ENJOY TRANSGENDER HETCH AND CHARLIE AND SNEEG

[blorboresidue]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[medichamcham]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[gongyussy]

good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi

update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome

quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~

also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience

[gayvampyr]

asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now

[holographings]

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

[girldraki]

this is insane

[sluttypatrickstar]

sits bolt upright in bed because i knew there would be an attempt to break the solidarity formed in the wake of the CEO shooting and i’m seeing it happen. people who were celebrating it are doing it themselves by digging through his social media and decrying him as just another alt right. but if this really is the guy who did it then like, what does that matter? are we really going to let this disrupt the momentum and the possibility for change? he did the thing. he (allegedly) killed the CEO and that same day another health insurance company backpedaled on one of its new dystopian ideas. now is not the time for “oh, he’s just another” – now is the time to drive that momentum forwards and to keep going. deny defend depose

[infernoflorys]

can one of my villan oomfs log on to this damn app. i cannot be screaming into the void about this on my own please guys i

[brbarou]

affection that held us together

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[jabberwick]

Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.