#guys they accidentally murdered all those people so it’s ok!

[inact-ice]

Reading some of these responses are actually insane. Guys, the IDF isn’t going to come out and say they specifically targeted aid workers. That’s not how this works. We can use our common sense skills to know that a military with some of the most advanced and precise technology in the WORLD, would not make the mistake of striking marked vehicles that they themselves had cleared to travel, 3 fucking times. If you really think this was an honest mistake, how is that any more justifiable? They have all this technology and are apparently still accidentally killing aid workers with it. And would we be supposed to believe that this was the only time they’ve ever and will ever make a mistake like this again?

This would be the same type of mistake as when a cop enters the wrong house and shoots a bunch of innocent people dead. Some groups of people are not allowed to make mistakes, especially not these types of mistakes. And when they do make them they should be punished for it.

I’m just so fucking pissed off man if they can surgically airstrike international volunteer food workers three consecutive times to ensure their operation is wiped out completely what the fuck is left for anyone to say

[oh-no-its-bird]

Really stupid au where when they were younger, Kakashi and Obito shared an accidental kiss a lot like Sasuke and Naruto. (Kakashi commits to his mask shortly after but will never not insist it's unrelated)

Years later and Kakashi, trying to cheer up Naruto and Sasuke ab their own embaressing accidental first kiss, shares his own story

Then, years later when Obito reveals himself on the battlefield, instead of going "woah, another Uchiha!?" when he hears his name, Naruto can't help but point and shout OH MY GOD UR THE GUY WHO KISSED SENSEI!!!!!!!!

Instant dead silence. (Obito wants to die)

Sakura, who never heard the story ab how it was a one time accidental kiss: "omg... sensei's childhood boyfriend went evil on him... this is so fucked up"

Obito is VIOLENTLY thrown off by this turn of events (and also hasn't actually thought ab it in years oh my god that did happen didn't it)

Kakashi, seeing how badly it threw him off, and also the kind of person who plays hard into throwing people off and generally fucking w them to gain an edge, seeing Sakura mumbling ab lovers to enemies and just kinda goes "Yeah Obito I can't believe you'd do this to me I thought we had smthn special."

"Yeah a rivalry????"

"So I was only ever a way for u to get stronger,, figures u were using me,,,"

[Confused Obito car crash noises]

Sakura yells smthn ab him being a deadbeat and how Kakashi can do so much better and Naruto is instantly shouting in agreement as Sasuke stands there like "hn." Which is basically the same thing for him

Kakashi just starts straight up lying actually

"What about all those picnics we went on... watching the sun set over konoha..."

"Are you talking about when Minato said we weren't allowed to come back inside till we stopped arguing and ate on opposite ends of the roof bc we couldn't even look at eachother without yelling???"

"It was so romantic."

Obito, starting to actually doubt himself, "was that a date????"

(It was not.)

"You died in my arms..."

"I died under a rock"

"We literally got eye married" (not a thing, he just made this up 3 seconds ago)

"We got WHAT" (no one can prove him wrong tho bc no surviving Uchiha knows that much ab their clans marriage traditions)

"Oh my god sensei's husband is a deadbeat" - sakura, horrified (and maybe a little delighted)

"Figures." -Sasuke, who's been in proximity w Obito for some time now and absoloutley believes every word ab this topic Kakashi is saying

"Woah. This is almost as bad as the fact he murdered my parents when I was a baby dattebayo" - Naruto who's priorities are NOT what they should be

"Ok. I wouldn't go that far." - Sasuke, who's priorities are also fucked but not THAT fucked, oh my god Naruto

"No, no he's right. We should kill him even harder for this" - Sakura, who doesn't actually agree but wants an excuse for more juicy sensei love drama (and also wants to see Obito beaten to death anyways)

[nyahchan]

Ok, here we go. Cryptid x Reader, where the Reader is on a hike with friends and said friends prank the reader in a really mean way causing them to run off and start crying. The Cryptid stumbles upon reader crying and for some reason misinterprets this as reader seeking a mate and starts doing a mating dance thing that the reader starts out being confused by and a little scared but then they start giggling and think it's really pretty, but then that is misinterpreted as accepting the Cryptid and the Cryptid is soooo happy that this little human wants their eggs! And obviously the crying is just from nerves, so they'll just hum and sing until the get all sleepy and fuck their eggs into them. And they'll be so happy when the wake up safe in the Cryptid's nest and so full and pregnant!

Sorry if that was long and weird lol my brain just kept going.

A Cryptid's mate

Yandere cryptid x gn reader

TW:non-con, implied killing, toxic friends, attempted murder, monster fucking, somnophilia, extremely rough non-con, blood, breeding

Author's note:- you didn't specify the gender so I tried to write it in a way that any gender can read it with whatever pronouns as I made sure not to add any

For you guys see this

Humans are stupid and weird, they tell others to be careful of the red signs yet they themselves seem to ignore them.

You are unfortunately one of those foolish humans, you saw the signs yet you chose to ignore them, you knew better than anyone else that these people who stand in front of you laughing right now, calling themselves your "friends" are just wolves in sheeps's clothings. Your eyes start to blur as you remember being so excited when your "friends" asked you to go on a hiking trip with them, there was a slight voice in the back of your head, asking numerous questions about why they would suddenly ask you to hang out with them in an activity considering they never included you in anything, but you were naive and hopeful and you decided to agree.

During the hike, your "friends" kept on whispering to each other and giggling, you couldn't understand why until they reach the middle of the forest where suddenly one of your "friends" shoved you and another took your hiking bag and began rummaging through it, throwing everything on the forest floor.You couldn't understand why, you tried to tell them to stop, but they kept on snickering "There's a dangerous bug that fell in your bag from one of the trees!" said one of them as they threw all your belongings on the floor and then "accidentally" stepped on them. You tried to brush it off as a kind gesture that went wrong, you tried to smile through it but deep down you knew, they did it on purpose.

Now most of the items you had brought for the hike was ruined, your bag had mud on it as well as the items that didn't get ruined. You all continued walking through the forest, going deeper and deeper inside when you guys are met with a river with high current going downstream, there's a path over it to walk through. Your "friends" tell you to walk on the path first ,feeling pressured,you do exactly that but as soon as you do, one of them pushed you into the river,you see in the corner of your eyes that they are grinning as you fall into the river. Your immediate survival insticts start working and you grab onto a large stone in the river and push yourself out, your bag flowing down the river. You're gagging and choking on air as you frantically ask them why they did it and the only thing you get in response is "it's a prank relaxxx" but you can't anymore, tears run down your face, you eyes get blurry and without thinking straight , you run off to whatever direction your feet take you to, you don't look back, you don't look front either, you're vision too blurry from the tears as you cry and run, your wet clothes making lots of splashing noise as it hugs your body, your undergarments fully visible through your clothes now.

Before you know it, you're in the middle of yet another forest except here, there are no trail tracks for hikers, but you don't care, you're too busy crying at the thought that your own "friends" tried to kill you, you cry by yourself, or at least that's what you think as right behind you stands a strange creature, not human, but not full monster, a cryptid or whatever humans nowadays decide to call his specifies, but it looks human and for some reason, it's extremely handsome. The cryptid man watches you cry from behind, you're so drowned in sorrow that you don't even realize there's a monster man behind you. He watches you cry and ponders on what might be the reason for such an adorable little human to be crying all by themselves in his territory, the territory where cryptids live, the territory he rules, the territory far away from human knowledge?And then it suddenly clicks in his mind, you're crying because you can't find a mate. Good news for you, he's also looking for one!

The cryptid immediately jumps in front of you, making his presence known to you. You're immediately startled and frightened at the creature in front of you, you rub your eyes to wipe the tears away and take in the appearance of said creature, it's around 8 feet tall, is muscular, looks so weird yet also like a human, his face is chizzled and he looks so handso- you shake your head and then look at the creature with a look of terror, but that immediately turns to confusion as the cryptid starts doing this weird funky dance, to you, it's a goofy silly dance, to him, it's a mating ritual and the second you crack a smile and start giggling at his mating ritual, he thinks you have accepted his proposal, he's so happy that this cute little human wants to be his mate, he can barely wait in anticipation as he sees your wet clothes sticking to your absolutely delicious body! The cryptid immediately picks you up like paper and carries you even deeper into the forest, you start panicking and try to struggle in the creature's grip but it's futile. Upon seeing your struggle, the cryptid interprets it as you're probably just nerves, but that's okay! He can just hum and sing to you so you feel relaxed cause he needs to make sure his mate is relaxed as he's gonna get his little human pregnant with his seed! And so starts humming a song, occasionally singing it while he keeps taking you deeper and deeper into the forest, before long, you stop struggling and fall limp in his arms as you fall asleep. The cryptid is happy that you're finally relaxed as he places you in his lavish and comfortable nest.

Your clothes are no longer on your body, thrown somewhere in a forgotten corner. Your unconscious body spread apart as you're being split on his large girthy cock, all that can be heard is the wet clenching noises of his inhuman cock hitting deep inside you, slapping against your skin. He plays with your nipples, licking, turning and twisting them, earning a moan from your coma like sleep state. Moans escape your mouth so often even though you're asleep, he's glad that he decided to put you to bed before fucking and breeding your tiny little human body as you definitely would've gotten hurt otherwise as blood drips down from the skin that tore which was expected considering his cock is way too big, so girthy and meaty and the tip is like a mushroom. At one point, you wake up but the immense pain you feel immediately causes you to pass out. The cryptid kisses your lips as it feels itself nearing his release after 3 hours of constant abuse on your tiny body and within a few minutes, he ejaculates inside you, his eggs spilling so deep inside you, your stomach starts bloating a bit and then bloats a lot. You look absolutely divine , filled with his eggs! Although not all of them wi fertiloze, at least one or two will, and he's so excited to see his little human mate all round and pregnant with his spawns!

When you awaken again, you're lying on a fluffy nest, your eyes hazy, you feel dizzy, you feel heavier, you feel extremely sore and in pain to the point tears start trickling down your face, suddenly a pair of rough hands touch you from behind, one caressing your stomach while the other is caressing your face, wiping the tears off of it, you can't do anything but cry "I'm sorry, you must be in a lot of pain, there was lot of blood, don't worry I stitched you up" you wonder how this creature even knows human language, or where he got the tools for stitches or how he knew how to do it, your mind runs a 100 miles a second,youre too scared and exhausted to move so you just whimper when from the corner of your eyes, you spot familiar clothes, you recognize them immediately as the clothes of your "friends", your eyes widen as you see blood on those clothes and your eyes try to wander further to see the full scene but the cryptid immediately covers your eyes with one hand while the other is still caressing your bloates stomach, he coos in your ear "shh darling, you're still recovering, just relax and go back to sleep, you're gonna be a mother soon, you don't need to stress about anything, I got you new clothes as gift for taking my eggs so well, I just haven't washed them yet" is all you hear before passing out again. You're now stuck with this strange creature.

[kizzer55555]

Dismissed on a Technicality

Ok so Danny accidentally killed the joker. He was working part time as a taxi driver. Funny thing is that he got hired in the city next to Amity Park. The problem is some moron decided to have him drive aaaalllll the way from Amity to Gotham city. And Danny might have run over the Joker while there.

Look…he didn’t feel like a human. Danny (as someone half dead) can feel souls and he could only barley feel anything from the guy so it just looked like a blob in front of the road. He thought it was an animal or something! Danny was short on time so he was going pretty fast. And drivers Ed was very clear that one is NOT to swerve the car to avoid animals as it causes the car to go into other lanes and can cause a crash, especially in a big city. It’s sad, but it’s true, better to run over the poor animal.

So Danny hit the gas.

Only to be greeted with the face of a clown smashed into his windshield.

Danny stopped the car.

He got out.

Looked around at all the people of the city staring at him (no longer cowering as Joker went on a monologue, holding them at gunpoint while waiting for a bat.)

Danny looks down as the mangled corpse sprawled over the front of his taxi.

And he pulled out his phone and called 911 to report a car crash. In front of everybody.

When Batman arrived, Danny held out his hands and willingly let them be cuffed. Time to be taken to court!

Now one might think Danny would be panicking in this situation. After all, he just killed someone, even if it was on accident. But Danny had a different point of view and made it known in court.

It was a whole thing. Full courthouse, practically the entire city attending or watching on a live news feed. And who did Danny call to defend him as his lawyer?

Himself.

And this begins the most confusing and controversial court in the history of Gotham.

Now, what defines a human? Because according to the law it’s ‘anyone capable of speech or higher reasoning.’ But that cannot be. There are aliens and Atlanteans who fit those categories and they do not classify as human. And what about that demon the Justice League killed last week. The one with 2 snake heads and a hippo body? That thing could talk. What about being a Homo sapien capable of speech? But there is an entire city of talking gorillas. Therefore, the definition of human should be revised.

As for the Joker, he had many differences to the typical human. When he fell into a vat of chemicals it changed his very atomic structure physically and altered his mind mentally. Those gassed with Joker venom can be turned back but Joker’s transformation was permanent. Meaning the change occurred at the level of his very DNA.

Which begs the question. Is the Joker really human? And if not, is what Danny did really murder?

Let it be known that Daniel James Fenton is not trying to get out of his crime.

Despite his appearance, the joker was alive. He was breathing, had a heartbeat, and blood flowed through his veins (despite that blood being green).

So yes…Danny committed a crime. And he confesses in front of the entire court.

He confesses…to animal cruelty.

[saintsenara]

On a slightly more serious note, this is an opinion that will have me eaten alive (ha!) in a blog followed by so many die-hard Snape fans... and I do also consider myself to be a die-hard Snape fan... But I do think that the whole "Lupin endangered students, Snape had no choice but to out him and his fate was justifed" kinda overplayed. The magic world is dangerous: we come across many wizards with who lost limbs to magical accidents, creatures, or duels, Luna's mum died performing experimental spells, everyone's favourite sport involves flinging boulders at people flying 20 meters above the ground. Sure, werewolves are another danger to add to the pile, but if there was no stigma, would it have been so unforgivable that in an extremely eventful and emotional night this guy just forgot to take his potion?

If werewolves were not shunned from society, it could have been just another magical accident. I know it's still a painful and irreversible condition, but people add a lot shame and guilt to Lupin's responsibility plate by perpetuating this idea that it was the most dangerous and despicable thing that could have happened, and being publicly outed was a suited punishment.

I just find it quite dishonest to act like Snape's attitude was not malicious, when he's always excelled at being the biggest bitch in the castle, and we love him for that?

Ok I'm out byeeeeee

i think several things are at play at once, tbh.

lupin forgetting to take the wolfsbane potion as a one-time slip-of-the mind which would - absolutely - be an accident, which could [and probably has!] happened to any of us who take medication regularly? relatable.

lupin forgetting to take the wolfsbane potion because he's too busy trying to murder his treacherous former friend in cold blood in front of three children...? well, sure, i'd do the same in his place, i fear.

but... i do think it's important to point out that snape's outing of lupin clearly isn't just connected to his failure to take his potion once, but to a run of behaviour by lupin which - on the basis of the information snape has in his possession - intentionally places students in danger throughout the school year - above all, lupin's failure to inform dumbledore that sirius is an animagus and that this is how he's entering hogwarts undetected.

i think this often gets forgotten, but lupin doesn't know that sirius is innocent until the same point in the story that harry does. while sirius wasn't coming to hogwarts to try and harm harry, lupin doesn't actually know this - he's not withholding information from dumbledore because he possesses the facts of sirius' innocence, he's withholding information from him because he's a coward.

this makes perfect sense from a characterisation angle - lupin being completely unable to speak ill of the friends who took him in and loved him unconditionally, even when he thinks that one of those friends annihilated two of the others is such a fundamental encapsulation of his personality - but it's unforgivable from a safeguarding one.

[and it would be grounds for a sacking in most jobs which involve working with children, let's be real, no matter the fact that lupin is accidentally vindicated.]

since the information that snape has at the end of prisoner of azkaban is that his suspicions that lupin was aiding and abetting a murderer in his quest to enter the school have been proven correct, and that - because lupin was so keen to help this murderer - he failed to take the potion which prevents him from biting someone... him backing lupin's instant dismissal doesn't seem that unreasonable...

because another thing i think it's worth pointing out is that snape clearly doesn't know that sirius is innocent until after lupin has resigned his post - indeed, you can read his behaviour towards sirius at the end of goblet of fire as evidence that he doesn't know until then [and i'm sure that he verified that pettigrew was the traitor very carefully with voldemort...].

and this is important.

because - yes - snape is petty. he clearly delights in the misfortune of others, and he's someone who tends to approach any conversation he ever has with anyone else through a win-lose lens - which means that he goes out of his way to humiliate other people so that he can "win" the interaction.

but - in the case of his involvement in lupin's dismissal - his pettiness is a red herring, which we're forced to recontextualise after the conclusion of the series...

lupin tells us that snape leaked that he's a werewolf because he's furious over losing his order of merlin.

but - just like when he tells us that snape hated james because he was jealous of his quidditch talent - lupin is wrong.

snape is furious - literally deranged with anger - at the end of prisoner of azkaban because he believes that the man who led voldemort to the potters' doorstep has escaped from justice, that lupin helped him to do so, and that dumbledore - despite admonishing lily for "putting her trust in the wrong person" [by which he means sirius! he doesn't know he's innocent before harry does either!] immediately after her death - has also decided to put his trust in the wrong person [harry's] nonsensical story, believe that sirius is innocent, and believe that lupin hasn't done anything wrong.

[we also get hints in canon that dumbledore's hiring of lupin without forcing him to disclose his condition might be... legally dodgy. the law is clearly unjust - and dumbledore is morally right to disregard it - but i think it's another thing worth bearing in mind when situating snape's decision to turn not only on lupin, but on dumbledore within context.]

snape's attitude is malicious - in that he lashes out at lupin because he's the only person he can realistically hurt in response - but it's not petty or him choosing to be a little bitch for fun. it's anguish.

[d0g0r0t]

I have such a specific request for ticci Toby head cannon, as seen in the timeline 30 year old Toby got institutionalized.My question is what he doing????

Not necessarily how he got there but maybe his reaction to being separated from you for an extended period of time?

Thank you : DD

Currently kicking my feet up in the air thinking about this 

When Toby got institutionalized

OMG I L9VE THIS IDWJNAKDNR

Pt2

Pt3

When he got caught he went fucking MENTAL on everyone and everything around him. Not because he got caught because he was being taken away from you

The moment he was in the facility he wouldn't talk to anyone, and when he did it would be lash outs screaming, kicking, punching, slapping, biting, anything to cause a scene and the most trouble

And when he did have these melt downs he would be locked in one of those rubber rooms so he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else

After about a week you were all he thought about. During free time he would draw you and write little poems about you. And every time a person asked who you were he give them the most drop dead stare

The idea of you not by his side sent him into a deep depression. He would rot in his bed for hours and would only come out if he was physically dragged out. He would eat unless he we held down and food shoved down his throat.

Doctors tried getting a reason out of him but he wouldn't budge.

The only time he did talk about you was when he accidentally slipped and said your name in such a sad and weak manner

It was honestly sad to see

He missed you so so so much It actually pained him that he couldn't see you. He knew he had to get out some how but he didn't know what that some how was.

He would see you in his dreams and every time he woke he would sob quietly into his pillow

You were his only reason of actually trying anymore. And now that he was taken away from you he couldn't even function

He loved you with all his heart and not having you in the same room as him made him angry at the world

There was multiple reports of people catching him mumbling you name in his sleep or going into full on breaks as he stared at the wall for hours. They had to let him snapped out of it at his own time or else someone would get seriously hurt

GUESS WHO SILLY GUY WAS THINKG ABOUT?!??!

YOU!!!!!

___________________________________________

He was sentenced to 355 years in the mental facility.

He had a reputation there to say the least. Everyone feared him. People thought he was crazy with the whole slenderman thing and all the murders. It was a shocker to them he wasn't caught sooner

How I think he got caught was when he was cornered by a large group of cops and literally had no where to go. He knew if he swung he would be shot on the spot so with a lot of thinking he gave in

Once he snapped at this guy and killed him with a coloring pencil...

Loser

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE THIS IS OK AND UP TO YOUR STANDARDS!!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!

Bro got thrown in the silly bin

[g0g0at]

Malevolent part 48 spoilers live blog

Oooooh I’ve heard good things about this episode

Starting off strong with Arthur coughing his lungs up

BLOOD?! TUBERCULOSIS

Spooky hallwayyyyy

John is gonna take the lead this episode it seems

Ooooh more people?

Oh someone is speaking!

Kinda thought they would all have sewn lips

Who’s that?

This is more characters in one space at a time

Moreeeeeeee voicessss

Bro just straight up dying and these guys don’t bat an eye

Oooh ok so they’re all waiting

“Speaking of sick, who are you?”

Gerard? A vin- a what?

A WEEK??

So much for being late

Oooh I’m liking these voices

He sounds like s1 Arthur

Friendly Friar

I am gonna lose track of these characters so quick

Forgotten all their names already

Oh my god Arthur

There’s so much talking this is really different (not in a bad way)

Get a snack Arthur PLEASE

The witch?

Oh wait that guy is French

Spooky lady at the bottom of the stairs…

Slay the princess reference omg

I love this music

Who is this

This is making me think of the green knight

I actually do kinda need this layout refresher it’s hard to keep track

Hmmmm many characters to ask

Lengwood does not like him BHAHAHAH

EWWW

John is in support mode hehe

I do kinda like this character he’s interesting

Are they gonna get picked off one by one

“It’s only death” Arthur like “yes indeed, I died just the other day!”

I’m very curious about this Everard now

Hmmm well John and Arthur are seeking answers

Ah he knows… maybe

Ooh that’s ominous

Oooh someone is coming……….

Everard?

Modern… interesting

Oooh this is so ominous I’m loving this

“No issue navigating” interesting…

Something about the way he says consonants scratches my brain

Seems Arthur fits the Warren role well

Mmm an architect

“Short while” BEHHAHAHS that feels like a roast ngl

So we have a friar, warren, architect, doctor (?), anstronomer

These guys are gonna be a big help me thinks…

“Visions the others cannot comprehend” want a bet

Ooooh what will it be

Black stone teehee

“I am not affiliated with the order?” Order of the fallen star?

Yep

Arthur accidentally getting himself drawn into a cult smh

Tomorrow night… well that’ll be next episode I assume

Arthur is probably gonna try take it… maybe

Uh they can’t give him the ring from the order hmmm

Loving that they’re working with non verbal communication as apposed to IGNORING EACHOTHER

Uh oh…

Making note of the scars

Ngl Arthur that’s not the BEST excuse

Ah they’re stuck with eachother for a bit

Hope those walls are soundproof…

John was doing a description!

Mmm yeah I wonder what getting evolved with great ones would do to your faith…

Calling him a heathen HAHA

Arthur is back in the game YEAAAAH

Well maybe…

One of these guys is gonna get murdered FOR SURE

They’re going to pick eachother off

John needs to NOT sleep tonight he’s gonna need to play watch dog

Arthur admitting he’s not ok? Wow who’da thought. Character development!

Who’s moving around

“Sit” “it helps me think” I liked that little exchange idk

Why are you talking about football

He’s trying to get them to fight for it?

Mmmmm so it’s a test?

CALLLLLLLED IT

Murder mystery!!!

Who got murdered?

You think John suspects the power won’t work anymore?

It didn’t with the witch…

Or maybe he’s just nervous to go through it

Man they’re all pointing fingers smh

Ooooh it’s a who done it heheheh

RIP Lengwood

Friar might have done it but he could be a red herring

Well that’s a bloody murder you would get a little blood on you for that

These guys would not solve shit without Arthur

Common interest…

Ah ok order stuff

Devious devious

Ah the ring!!

Arthur can use their’s if necessary

Well shouldn’t you look at Lengwood’s corpse?

Yes yes

OH FUCK

You two need to get rid of that ring

ARTHUR YOU’RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SUSPICIOUS

AURGHHHHHH

Arthur has an alibi but you lot can’t hear him!

Friar answered way too quick

“Don’t you mean again” BHAHAHHAHA

John is reluctant to touch the body… does the power not work anymore..?

Ditch the ring!!! Ditch it!! You don’t need it!! Or hide it in your shoe or some shit

SHOE PUT IT IN YOUR SHOE

WHY DID HE JUST DUMP IT

Barnabus jumpscare

Why you grabbing him like that stop that

This guys is a bit creepy

These guys have a guilty before innocent thing

“He studies your face with a cleverness. It’s hidden slightly, behind the veneer of alcohol” nice line I like that

They’re gonna buddy up?

There’s gonna be a brawl or something

Arthur you’re toeing a dangerous line

Everard WANTS you guys to be picked off, he’s not a good alibi

“I’m excited for you to see” the dead body????

Cool chapel? Sounds like it could be?

Oh Lengword woods

“His body is sprawled upon the steps, face to the side in grotesque tableau of agony. His face wears a horrible scream.” Great imagery goddamn

No ring… damn

You guys are bad at investigating stuff

Yeah they’re gonna wanna check your bag probably

How would they explain away Yorick?? “Hey sorry yeah that’s just my severed head, he’s chill dw”

Why is Elia on body disposal duty

Bro is poking at Baranabus BHAHAHAH get FUCKED

Loving the non-verbal communication between these two

What IS Arthur doing

HE’S GONNA PLANT IT. Or something similar

Oh Arthur you sneaky SNEAKY bastard

Clever clever

Everard just dipped BAHHAHHA

I know this is just how Arthur is in his element but also he fits the Warren role

So much for touching the body…

Why do people keep asking him if he’s a good person

Kayne? Horig? Or maybe the KiY??

Omg wait maybe is it Horig…

He was taken to the dreamlands?? Maybe…

OH WHAT THE FUCK

Why’d he do that?

Horrifying imagery, love it

BAHAHA HE’S JUST FLOATING

Well you missed your opportunity

“All you worship the way I do” ehhh Arthur not so much

Dang Everard is a horrid host

So someone else might die overnight

Your alibi really ditched you BAHHAHA

So Barnabus did do it? Maybe

Oooooh black stone next episode!!

[adragonsfriend]

Reading Darth Plagueis,

by James Luceno.

Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.

———

“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis

Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder

———

Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*

———

Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW

A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard

Plagueis, a literal wizard:

———

Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name

Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,

Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something

———

*at the evil rich people party*

"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"

I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him

———

Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:

Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species

His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad

———

omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect

———

Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes

———

Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?

Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?

Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order

Gunray: ur a cleric?

Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"

Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes

———

Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back

Palpatine: *listening attentively*

———

Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill

Sidious:

Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—

———

Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.

———

Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me

———

Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.

———

Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master

Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”

———

“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”

This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present

———

Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*

I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)

[aingeal98]

Imagine your best friend turns out to be kind of very evil and it's something that's steadily becoming clearer every year as her actions go from morally grey to just unforgivable. But despite your disgust of everything evil and your talent at killing them you cannot bring yourself to do anything but forgive her even though she's not even the person you remember anymore. She looks like your old best friend and talks like her too. The girl who was your first little sister before your blood family came along, the original innocence you fought so hard to protect. (Was any of it real? Of course it was. It has to be or-) And that's why you will drag her living corpse into every escapade and force yourselves to stay a family ignoring the elephant in the room because you cannot handle even considering an alternative. Sometimes she accidentally almost drains the life out of you and it reminds you of the two times she almost killed your baby sister and that's something you would stab anyone else for. You've stabbed people for less. But not her. Never her. Even when she kills people. Even when she tries to murder everyone including you and your family. You can hate everyone else but you'll never stop brushing her crimes under the rug because you've been through too much together and you can't do this without knowing she's by your side. Not just because she's so powerful that you could only kill her if she lets you. (And she would definitely let you but you have to pretend not to notice that too. She's getting better guys it'll be OK in the end. It has to be.) Not just because she raised you from the dead twice, (You might actually hate her a little for that sometimes.) But because every single battle and trauma you've been through together has etched some sort of loyalty on your soul, an unbreakable bond, not quite romantic or familial. You don't even know if you like each other that much anymore, sometimes your conversations grow heavy or awkward with the weight of all the skeletons you're choosing to bury. And yet if the world is ending you will find yourself by her side, and the trust will be so easy and natural for those moments that you could be right back in high school braiding each other's hair and watching cheesy old movies and joking about your latest near death experience.

Anyway this happened to my good friend Buffy Summers.

[roguemage64]

I had such a fun time with this incorrect quote generator! Hope y’all enjoy what it came up with 😄

Incorrect She-ra Quotes

Catra: This is bothering me.

Adora: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Catra: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Catra: So what’s for dinner?

Adora, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

Catra: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Adora: What's that?

Catra: Remorse code.

Adora: I'm even angrier now.

Catra: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Adora: What did you do?

Catra: Nobody died.

Adora: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Catra: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Adora: *chugs entire bottle*

Adora: It’s perfume.

Catra, tending to Adora's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Adora: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Adora: Violence isn't the answer.

Catra: You’re right.

Adora: *sighs in relief*

Catra: Violence is the question.

Adora: What?

Catra, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Adora, running after her: NO-

Adora: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Catra: Oh, you’ve been?

Adora : Once. In Monopoly.

Catra, watching the news: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Adora: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk.

Catra: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is the most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Adora's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. I can’t get her out...

The rest of the Princess Alliance:

Catra: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Adora: Only if you also don't ask why

Adora: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Catra:

Adora:

Catra: This one is fine.

Catra: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Bow: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Adora: I got distracted about halfway through.

Glimmer: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Catra: Great.

Adora: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Glimmer: OH MY GOSH BOW FELL OFF!!!

Glimmer: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Adora: I don’t know how to do that.

Bow: I don’t wear a watch.

Catra: Time is a construct.

Bow: You know those things will kill you, right?

Glimmer, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Catra, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Adora: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Adora: I’m an idiot.

Catra:

Glimmer:

Bow:

Adora:

Catra: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Scorpia: What does 'take out' mean?

Adora: Food.

Bow: Dating

Glimmer: Murder

Catra: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Scorpia: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Adora: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Glimmer: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Bow: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Catra: My moral code, is that you?

Scorpia:

Scorpia: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mothers left me but do you guys need a hug?

Adora: You're a loose cannon, Catra.

Catra: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Bow: I think you play by your own rules.

Glimmer: No way, she think rules were made to be broken.

Adora: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Catra: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Scorpia is a loose cannon.

Scorpia: *accidentally smashes a chair*

Adora: Nothing in life is free.

Perfuma: Love is free!

Sea Hawk: Adventure is free!

Bow: Knowledge is free.

Catra: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Catra: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Adora: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Glimmer: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Catra: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Bow: What is wrong with you people.

Catra: Anyone d-

Adora: Depressed?

Bow: Drained?

Glimmer: Dumb?

Scorpia: Disliked?

Catra: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Catra: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Adora will and will not eat.

Glimmer: Grass? Yes!

Catra: Moss? Yes!!

Glimmer: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Catra: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Glimmer: Worms? Sometimes!

Catra: Rocks? Usually nah.

Glimmer: Twigs? Usually!

Catra: Scorpia’s cooking? Inconclusive!

Perfuma: How did you… test this?

Catra: You just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it.

Perfuma: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Bow: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Adora: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Catra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Bow: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Glimmer: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Perfuma: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Perfuma: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Adora: Have everyone stand.

Bow: Bring three more chairs!

Glimmer: The most important ones can sit down.

Catra: Kill three.

Glimmer: Good morning.

Adora: Good morning.

Bow: Good morning.

Scoria: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Catra: MORNING SCUMBAGS

Adora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Glimmer: Several traffic violations.

Catra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Scorpia: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Bow: Also, that’s not our car.

Catra: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Glimmer: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Scorpia: In your pantry!

Catra: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Glimmer: Is your friend here?

Catra, motioning to Adora: Yeah.

Glimmer, to Adora: You're a monster! Words MEAN things!

Bow: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Bow: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Bow: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Bow, to Glimmer and Catra: YOU MONSTERS

Glimmer: YAAAAAAAAY!

Catra: THE PRESTIGE

Catra: Bye Adora! Bye Bow! Bye Glimmer! Bye Scorpia! Bye Adora!

Bow: You said ‘bye Adora’ twice.

Catra: I like Adora.

Scorpia: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Glimmer: 'Prettiest Smile'

Bow: 'Nicest Personality'

Catra: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Adora: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Bow: You kidnapped Adora? That’s illegal!

Catra: But Bow, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Adora, or destroying our dreams?

Bow: Kidnapping Adora, Catra!!!

Glimmer: Bow, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Bow: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Glimmer: To work together!

Bow: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Glimmer: Bow, we all agreed celebrities were an exception.

*The squad is over at Catra's house*

Adora: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Catra: ... N-No...

Catra, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Adora, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bow: I see a-

Catra, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Adora: Oh, well I-

Catra: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Catra, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Glimmer: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Scorpia: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Catra: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Catra: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Catra, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Catra: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Perfuma, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Catra:

Adora: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Catra:

Catra, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Catra: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!

Adora: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Bow: More or less, I guess...

Glimmer: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!

Scorpia: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.

Perfuma: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

Bow: Just be yourself.

Catra: 'Be myself'? Bow, I have one day to win Adora over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Perfuma: Couple weeks.

Mermista: Six months.

Glimmer: Jury’s still out.

Catra: See, Bow?

Catra: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Catra: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Adora: Okay, but what is updog?

Bow: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Glimmer: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Scorpia: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Perfuma: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Catra: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Glimmer: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Bow: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Adora: What’s a henway??

Catra: Oh, about five pounds.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Catra: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Adora: ...I did. I broke it.

Catra: No. No you didn't. Bow?

Bow: Don't look at me. Look at Glimmer.

Glimmer: What?! I didn't break it.

Bow: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Glimmer: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Bow: Suspicious.

Glimmer: No, it's not!

Scorpia: If it matters, probably not, but Perfuma was the last one to use it.

Perfuma: Lies! I don't even drink that trash.

Scorpia: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Perfuma: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Scorpia!

Adora: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Catra.

Catra: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Scorpia: Catra... Bow's been awfully quiet.

Bow: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Catra, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Catra: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Catra:

Catra: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*The squad right before Adora (and Catra)'s wedding*

Catra: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Bow: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Glimmer: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Scorpia: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

Perfuma, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Perfuma: Thanks fam!

Mermista: oh no

Scorpia: *cries* I love you too

Glimmer: Sounds fake but okay

Adora: *A flustered mess*

Catra: can i get a refund

Adora: We need to distract these guys

Catra: Leave it to me

Catra: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Bow, Glimmer, and Mermista: *Immediately begin arguing*

Perfuma, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Catra: Rules are made to be broken.

Adora: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Bow: Uh, piñatas.

Scorpia: Glow sticks.

Glimmer: Karate boards.

Perfuma: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Catra: Rules.

Adora:

Catra: Time for plan G.

Adora: Don’t you mean plan B?

Catra: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Bow: What about plan D?

Catra: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Glimmer: What about plan E?

Catra: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

Glimmer: I like plan E.

Adora: So are we flirting right now?

Catra: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Adora: That doesn’t answer my question

Adora: Catra, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Catra: Well of course I have.

Catra: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Catra: It's boring.

Catra: Can you keep a secret?

Adora: Do you know anything about my life?

Catra: Yes I do. Good point.

Catra: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Adora, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Catra: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Adora: How can you still say that?

Catra: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Catra: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Adora: I think you mean cards.

Catra, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

Adora: How do I deal with my enemies?

Catra: Kill them

Adora: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Catra: Kill them only a little?

Catra: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Adora: You and me!!!

Catra, tearing up: Okay.

Catra: I’m going to take you out

Adora: great, it’s a date!

Catra: I meant that as a threat.

Adora: See you at five!

Adora: This is such a bad idea.

Catra: Then why are you coming along?

Adora: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Catra: Am I in trouble?

Adora: Take a guess.

Catra: No?

Adora: Take another guess.

Catra: You kill people for money?!

Adora: I can explain!

Catra: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

Adora: I was arrested for being too cool.

Catra: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

These quotes are generated from https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Who drinks respect women juice in tokyo revengers? And whose hands are rated E for everyone?

Ok I've given this a bit of thought and this is what i came up with (I'm not 100% on all of these though)

Takemichi- 100% wpuld never dare to hit a girl, he was outraged when Yuzuha got hit and when Emma got hurt.

Mikey- ok this one is a hard one since he said he never would and technically we never do see him lay hands on a girl. But he does threaten Senju at one point and it's implied he either hit her or hit someone who knocked into her during the final fight. Is there a middle section he can be put in?

Draken- would definitely never throw hands with a girl, sees it as being a pointless thing to do (he's also seen first hand how argumentative the girls he lives with can get and wants no part in that).

Baji- Seen people argue both ways on this one but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't throw hands with a girl. His mother would kill him. (Aside from sparring at the dojo).

Chifuyu- He'd prefer to just get beat up by a girl rather then throw hands.

Mitsuya- never ever ever, not in a million years.

Hakkai- would panic and run away if this situation ever came up.

Pah- would not hit a girl, might be a bit rude to one maybe even threaten one if she didn't back off but wouldn't actually fight a girl.

Peh- no way, he looked so upset the one time he accidentally made yasuda cry so would never want to do anything to make a girl cry on purpose.

Smiley- honestly a little torn on this one, his love of fighting and murder is very big but not sure he'd actually fight a girl. I think maybe he would but only if the girl started it and she seemed strong enough to challenge him.

Angry- he doesn't even wanna fight the guys!

Mucho- would fight a girl but only if izana or mikey told him to or she knew something about traitors.

Sanzu- would also fight a girl, literally doesn't care.

Kisaki- he's not much of a fighter but we've seen that he's 100% willing to fatally wound girls so he definitely would.

Hanma- would fight a girl but wouldn't take it seriously, feel like he'd treat it more like a game. Teasing and letting the girl get some punches in, giving her hope before he takes her down, watching the hope fade and seeing how she reacts. Doesn't go picking fights with girls though, just waits for them to challenge him.

Kazutora- would not fight a girl, he seemed outraged to find toman had been targeting girls in that one future.

Koko- would not fight a girl, he definitely seems to think girls need protecting (his comments to hakkai) so I don't think he'd want to hurt a girl.

Inui- he said it himself, he would fight a girl.

Taiju- again we have pretty clear evidence that he definitely would hit a girl.

Izana- would fight a girl if they were strong enough, otherwise wouldn't be interested.

Kakucho- would not fight a girl, he seems to be against girls being hurt in general.

Mochi- would also not fight a girl, he seems to have some kind of moral code when fighting so probably wouldn't fight a girl? Might though if they were very strong.

Shion- wouldn't fight a girl cause he sees it as being beneath him. "This fight wouldn't be fair for you against me!"

Ran- would not fight a girl, mainly because he thinks it would damage the Haitani brother's reputation to be seen fighting girls. 

Rindou- Same as Ran but for the added reason that it would be a bit awkward for him to pin a girl down.

South- again canon evidence that he would throw hands with a girl. I feel like he doesn't care about gender just how strong a person is.

Benkei- would not hit a girl, I feel like he'd feel so guilty about it with how big he is so would never. (Aside from friendly spars with Senju where he doesn't go all out anyway)

Wakasa- also wouldn't fight a girl, sees no reason to, would likely just evade a girl if one ever tried to fight him (aside from spars with Senju).

Takeomi- definitely has a lot of thoughts about what women should be so based on those I think he'd find is dishonourable to hit a girl.

Shinichiro- ohhh definitely wouldn't, he'd probably try hitting on her or trying to talk her around instead. Doesn't see any reason to hurt a girl and is most likely the one to teach Mikey that. 

[vanillaxoshi]

Tanah's was a joy to write simply because theres some personal experience within it

Enjoy :D

––––––––––■––––––––––

In Tanah's opinion, he fully believes he isn't a petty person.

If he can avoid having negative feelings towards someone, he'll try his damn hardest

But he is the 3rd child of a sibling of 7; ex youngest, experienced older brother, and certified "mom" of the siblings. Most of all, he is a brother and BOI is he allowed to be petty to them

What got him in such a sour mood you may ask?

Wellllll lets just say he has not been having a very good day. And before you ask, yes it has everything to do with his brothers.

A scowl is formed on Tanah's face as he subtly clutches his stomach, he seems to be lost in his head.

Angin forcing him to try a new abomination (he won't even give it the dignity of calling it a "pastry") resulting in the countless trips to bathroom nation. His stomach still hurts and it has been HOURS, Yaya's deathly cookies are better than this..

...

Ok maybe not but hes spiteful right now

Api pranking him was not appriciated at all and HOW did he convince Shielda to help him is beyond him (you'd think she would be the responsible twin), no worries though because he already prepared revenge for him.

No he does not care that it was accidental and that he was not the supposedly "target" of said prank. It still happened.

Clearly this means war.

Daun and Cahaya blowing his EAR off did not help, look. He loves those two, he really does. But he did not need to hear 200+ remedies that can help sedate Angin's poison

Petir DITCHED him with these heathens that he has to call brothers

Now he was proud to be a very mature and level headed person.. but hes still a 17 year old

Air technically didn't do anything but his ignorance will be remembered that lazy panda bear, sue him for holding a grudge

..

..

'This walk has not been helping. For that, Remi you're also on my list'

Not only is his stomach killing itself, his legs are crumbling now too

'This day is just not my day'

Sitting down on the nearest bench he decides to distract himself with his surroundings before he starts planning murder. Looking around to fine other things to focus on

Like that dog covered in mud, boy he does not want to be its owner right now

Or that cowboy cat that's threatening a woman, now usually he'd help but hes compromised so best of luck lady you're on your own

The sun is really warm this evening, casting golden rays to the surrounding foliage, Mix with the wind thats blowing leafs around; it creates a beautiful artistry that he wished he could paint if he was an artist

'Maybe i should take up painting.. i could practice painting on my sculptures'

"Ta.. nah?"

That soft voice broke him out of his observation, looking to his side to find the little sunlight of the family.

As much as hes still annoyed by the younger's previous endeavors, he doesn't really have the heart to dismiss the little guy

'Trying to help shouldn't be rewarded by punishment'

Putting on a soft smile he looked to the little sunlight

"Hey bud, didn't see you there." he looks to the container Haya is holding, "what's this?"

Since Cahaya is holding the drink (at least he assumes it's a drink) he couldn't really write, his brow furrowed in concentration, Tanah could see the spark of hesitation and the troublesome look adorned on the youngest's face

Filled with renewed patience and understanding he went to grab the drink so Cahaya could write

"... its ca- chamo..mile green tea"

Surprise but also pride exploded inside Tanah, bitter feeling forgotten he pat the little sunlight's head as encouragement

"Good job buddy!" He praized, chuckling when he saw the ruby red shade that spread in Haya's face. "Why'd you get it though?"

Distress colors Cahaya's face this time, it seemed he'd reach his quota of words for today since he just shoves the drink unto Tanah's chest

Giggling even more at the youngest's display, fondness rose inside of him as he went to take the hot beverage out of the little sunlight's hands

"..for Tanah."

His hand stopped mere inches from the drink, shock adorning his face

'Did he just..'

It feels like an earthquake is happening through his whole body by how much hes shaking from pure joy

Though seeing Haya cowering and covering his face with the drink snaps him out of his cuteness aggression overload

'Dear God, i'm weak'

His face hurts from how much hes grinning, practically splitting it half

Showering the sunlight with so much praise and affirmation, screw whoever is looking at them weird; they probably have a sad loveless life

'He said my name, he said my name!' The only repeating thought he could comprehend right now

Looking around simply out of instinct to see if any of the other siblings heard, only for confusion and worry to consume him soon after

"Sunlight, thank you for the tea.. but why are you here alone?" Hugging the younger close, he looks around even more. "You're not alone are you? We've talked about this, why didn't you ask someon–"

Feeling the tapping on his side he looks to Cahaya who's raising his hand

He calmly points to a shop, a tea shop more specifically; the Jasmine Dragon

Narrowing his eyes he could barely make out the figure that seems to be in the shape of his 5th brother

'Oh right, him and Daun were talking about remedies for my stomach'

His whole body shook with how much love hes feeling. The unfortunate victim here is Cahaya, who is forced to accept the killer hug that he gives him

As he made his way to the shop with Cahaya leading the way, beverage in hand, he went to grab phone; a mission on his eyes for the perfect revenge presented itself on a golden platter

He might be the current "golden" child. But he's 17 year old with a grudge, and man is he petty

"Why does your face look evil, who's dying?" Daun questioned when they reached him. Sending the message, he beamed at Daun with practiced ease, "It's nothing don't worry about it, what have you two been up to anyway?"

Thoroughly distracted, the duo starts to go back and forth describing their day and how they tried to find the perfect tea to deal with his poison for him

Tea in hand and ironically stomachache completely forgotten, Tanah enjoyed listening with a fond smile on his face

.

.

.

✨️Old People Council✨️

"I win btw"

"WHAT"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Congrats."

"Audio proof??"

"nice"

"I feel like i have a disadvantage this isn't fair >:("

"You all better pay up, you included Petir"

"Fuck."

This is such another sweet one

im guessing Angin is trying out new recipes but they turned out bad? poor Tanah, having to be the one to put up with everything, meanwhile, Petir's in college, just left him.

also old people council, is that their group chat and their group chat name?? ha-

loving tanah being mischievous, and petty, love those sides of him

the jasmine dragon reminds me of that tea shop from Iroh in ATLA is that what that is???

I could def imagine Cahaya's scrunched up face trying to answer, its adorable. and tanah, i relate to you with that cuteness agression.

[roipecheur]

Here's how to fix Frank Punisher.

First, retcon whatever happened in Punisher 2022. Say it was all a dream and Frank passed the test or whatever by not giving into the Beast at the very end, thereby defeating it. Or the Beast was possessing him the whole time, so none of that was really him, and also Maria was not like really Maria or whatever. I don't care, it's bad, it completely undermines everything that makes Frank as a character, and it needs to go.

So. At the end of Punisher 2022, he's in some hell dimension called 'Weirdworld'. That's fine, that can stay. This is the only good content in the entire run besides Frank's obligatory homoerotic moments with Daredevil.

Frank should get forcibly adopted by wandering children and accidentally catapulted into Dad Mode™ between unimaginable bouts of violence. This is probably the only time that run got him right.

Now, to bring Frank back. He needs a new Microchip. This guy can have some connection to the original David Linus Microchip Lieberman who Frank murdered to death for betraying him back in the early aughts, or he can just be some rando who took on the hackerman name.

He appears to Frank in Weirdworld as some sort of spirit while the kids are sleeping. New Microchip has projected himself in there using magic. He offers to bring Frank out of Weirdworld, but in exchange, Frank has to grant him a favor. Frank tells him to go fuck himself with extra sauce. New Microchip offers to save the kids, too, and Frank is a sucker for kids. So he agrees.

(I'm picturing New Microchip kinda like that nerd guy from the animated Atlantis movie, but OG Microchip was also fat, so like Atlantis guy with a little extra pudge. Cute, though.)

Frank is back on Earth. The kids are free and get sent to someone, probably Natasha because Frank trusts her and she'd look at them and go "what the literal hell" and I think that would be funny. New Microchip has a very Frank-like backstory where his family got killed, and he wants Frank to kill their killers. Frank is opposed because His War Is Over and he doesn't like being forced to do things. But he has to go along because of the magic deal.

Punisher skull comes back. Frank mows the people New Microchip wants dead down in a very typical, Frank-like way. New Microchip also outfits him with a battle van and provides really good tech support. When it's done, Frank is automatically released and is no longer bound to New Microchip.

Naturally, Frank goes to kill him. He finds New Microchip sitting out back looking at the scenery of some sort with a loaded gun waiting nearby. Waiting for Frank. New Microchip's job is done, and he gave up everything to do it. He expects Frank to kill him.

Instead, Frank is like. Grudgingly impressed that this guy had the balls to take what's coming to him instead of trying to run. He also likes his new battle van and could get used to that sort of thing. So, he offers New Microchip a job.

Ok. Here's the crucial part. If this was a new run, Frank should be done with this round of gratuitous violence by issue 3-5, and he and New Microchip should be fucking before issue 10. It needs to be played exactly the same was as if New Microchip were a woman. He's patching Frank up or something, and then they start kissing, fade to black, next page shows them in bed together.

Marvel needs to really play up Frank being bisexual. Not gay. Bisexual. Frank loved his wife, and that's very important to his backstory. Also, gay and not bisexual Frank gives off this weird vibe like being gay helped make him the Punisher, and that would be a nightmare for the PR team and for me personally. But they need to make him SO queer. To the point where people see those stupid thin blue line Punisher skulls and go...isn't that the one who has a boyfriend now?

Angry right-wingers with guns will be burning their shirts and tearing the decals off their cars. Frank's fan base will return to where it belongs: with weird comic book freaks who think he's a funny little guy.

One other thing. There has to be one splash cover where Frank is bridal carrying New Microchip to safety. There should be an explosion behind them. The explosion should, inexplicably, be in the shape of a skull. Picture this. It's very romantic.

[cats-and-confusion]

I have no idea if I've asked you before but here we go! Your PA headcanons! Please dump them on me!

SO YOU HAVE CHOSEN DEATH

Ok ok ok so. I'll go by order of character. Some of them may or may not be mutually exclusive

Olive

A god (of halloween and the dead) similar to those in 90%s other game, Cool Kid Cody. Essentially they can canonically see the hearts above people's heads and are aware of the time shenanigans - they just say the same things each time so that outcomes are predictable. They don't mind dying, and the player is a power they contacted with magic. Theoretically at the end of each game they make a little pocket space in the clouds where they hang out with their friends in semi-god form, but also it's more fun to think no one knows (except patches but that'll be explored in his section). It's even FUNNER to think that they're not keeping it particularly secret, it's just that no one has asked so they didn't say anything. Olive is the shortest aside from Angel. Their house is in the god realm which means in the normal realm they're technically homeless which is why Coco had trouble contacting them in PA2.

Brownie

A chubby lil' corgi. Goes to parties and has a somewhat rough relationship with her parents because she keeps going off and doing things. Her family's rich. She paid for the milkshakes at the end of PA1. She's only marginally taller than Olive. She's a great negotiator, and has the best danger-meter of the group. She could be a powerful manipulator but really just prefers to be funny and cool. Has lots of connections. Might grow up to be a lawyer-

Sparky

Sports guy!!! Plays hockey but also does track and baseball. Has a sports scholarship. Tall as fuck (taller than Patches, even) and is constantly restless, balanced out by the sports. Known as the humble cool dude in his team. The guy you'd trust to hold your drink. Has good self-restraint and strong morals, but is not immune to temptation. Fairly good self-esteem, usually.

Coco

Such an older sister. Values honesty and reliability - would keep a promise if it killed her. Naturally volatile, but likes being kind and getting compliments. Her love language is gift-giving. She pays the bills by doing magic jobs. Her parents are dead (rip) and Angel is all she has, and the main thing she lives for. Before murdering Hachiko High, after finding out Angel was dead, she cried for six hours straight before wrecking her kitchen and crying for 12 more hours.

Angel

He has an inferior twink body and used to wear his hair in a braid. He has low blood sugar and has trouble eating, but Coco helps him. He likes sweets and books and blueberries. He's bi for men and enbies. He has memory problems from being resurrected, and mourns all of himself that he's forgotten. Prone to cute things.

Patches

His mom is dead and his dad fucking sucks so he likes to stay at Olive's house. The first time he went to their house was right after PA2 when he was in Angel's body and collared, which was also when he found out Olive is a god. Olive made him have fun and take care of himself. He hated it. Still has a craving for blood, and each of his friends have a different way of helping him with it. Sparky likes to spar, Angel urges him to write, Brownie gives him snacks (eat a snickers you're not you when you're hungry), Coco beats the shit out of him, and Olive hugs him until he feels better. On a few occasions when Olive has accidentally gotten hurt, Patches has drank their blood. Olive is okay with this. Patches listens to mother mother.

Let me know if you want me to elaborate on some things or ramble about other characters I'm so fucking excited by this game

[via-the-ghoul]

Slasher headcanons: realistically none of these people would do this but like. What if they had Tumblr accounts

Micheal Myers

His username is literally just Micheal-Myers or some variation on it if that’s already taken

He mostly just Reblogs the occasional “Can’t wait for Halloween” “it’s November” “Can’t wait for Halloween” post.

However the actual reason he got this account was to ominously like all of Laurie’s posts

The problem is that she blocked him immediately

She doesn’t even know for sure that it was old Mikey she just thinks naming your account after the guy who destroyed her life is a dick move

And his profile pick is the mask so she knows it’s not the actor or some other guy named Micheal Myers they’re talking about

So he can’t do the ominous liking thing anymore

Freddy Krueger

He is blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Ok let me explain

He runs a Freddy Krueger fan account

And isn’t trying to hide the fact that he is literally Freddy Krueger

And kills people

So everyone thinks that he’s just one of the worst of the weird TCC people

The weird serial killer simp TCC people don’t like him either because whenever they post about literally any other serial killer being hot he replies with “Freddy Krueger is way better kys”

And that’s why he’s blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Candyman

His account is basically one of the most normal ones on this list lol

It mostly posts those dark poetry posts (you know what I’m talking about right) and old paintings.

And before you ask yes. A good amount of said art is stuff he made as Daniel

He also reblogs a good amount of other people’s art and commission posts, artists gotta support each other!

The weirdest thing about the account is that one time he posted a painting that he made as Daniel, that was like, considered lost media up to this moment

And he didn’t know

Everyone’s just like “YO HOW TF DID YOU FIND THIS” and he’s just like “wait this was lost media”

Billy Loomis and Stu Matcher

They run a joint horror movie review account

Every single review is mostly positive

They still have a clear fav tho: gorey slasher movies

Billy’s reviews are more serious while Stu jokes around a lot

Billy’s like “you know it’s really messed up what happened to Henry, and I like the twist that he isn’t actually the killer this time and it’s the less sympathetic Axel” while Stu’s like “lol stupid kids get fucked”

They’re decently popular in the horror community

The account however, becomes infamous after their deaths and the fact that they were serial killers is revealed

It becomes… really uncomfortable to look at their posts after that

Lester Sinclair

He’s the only Sinclair brother with Tumblr

His posts are mostly just talking about the progress made on the Town of Wax (leaving out the murder obviously)

Bo and Vincent are both worried that Lester’s gonna accidentally reveal their crimes at some point

Similarly to Billy and Stu’s it gets uncomfortable to look at after the truth about the Town of Wax is revealed

However, it does get people to look at the posts

They’d get like 5 notes at most beforehand

Billy Lenz

His profile pic is the Bob eye, his username is a keyboard smash, and his background’s just like static or something

He just replies to random posts with keyboard smashes

Sometimes he’ll accidentally link a website but it never means anything

It’s a huge mystery what tf is going on with blog

At one he just posts “i am going to kill you” with no tags and goes silent forever

Everyone thinks it’s some bizarre ARG that didn’t go anywhere

Amanda Young

She posts quotes from various horror media she finds cool as well as aesthetic boards for said media

It’s mostly dark poetry, horror stories, and art house Horror movies

And the occasional Jigsaw quote

She does not hide the fact that she is a Jigsaw apologist. While being a trap survivor.

People argue about whether her account is ok or not for this reason

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Bunch of random small stuff that weren‘t worth clogging the tag (more than I probably already do XD)

Second seal murdered. Still feels wrong.

Accidentally wandered into the edge of the kingdom. Was like “bet this snow is actually ashes” but the truth is worse ngl

"I‘ll kill a thousand more…will that be enough, father?“ Zote what the HECK does that mean! …nvm his promise was just to himself. He has daddy issues, that‘s what it means. Hope you sort it out king

unlocked the final station. …when our living taxi grandpa was introduced as the last one, really should’ve seen it coming it would look like this, but…it’s still…eery. They’re just all…there.

But so is a single broken egg. It’s empty. Almost like something hatched out of it, that it managed to live. I like to think it did.

game also only played what I believe to be the "secret found” ding when looking at it, not just when finding the area. That was kinda weird. Does the ding mean something else after all?

"Where did you go, honored king“ if I’m correct about the corpse with the 3-pointed head he kicked the bucket like 10 meters west of you. Sorry pal.

Speaking of which, despite having those dream particles, using the dream nails just blocks it with a barrier. Well that’s not suspicious at all. (And neither is the black…something coming out from behind that mask face, that kinda looks like the lower half of our own ghost. Not at all.)

who is Nola and why do I have the suspicion they were the big bug corpse with a bag over their face you could find in some secret corner. Cuz that was the same bag face as Cloth’s ;-;

There is a giant bug in the background of the Queens’ Garden savepoint. Who were you?

Mask maker switches masks in between visits, that’s cute :)

I do not like the immortal noble bug lady. She has rude thoughts. What’s her problem and why is she surrounded by creepy glowing pink roses. Maam are you sucking out other peoples‘ life force to stay immortal or smth.

Ok went back to where the fight with dung thrower knight was and he’s an actual living beetle, heck yea! I like his vibe. Also confirms whatever happens in this kingdom was semi-recently, maybe 3 decades max. What does "so there were Others too…” mean.

I THINK I JUST KILLED A GUY FR FR BEE DUDE ARE YOU OK D: …nope. nope he’s not. Damn. Sorry dude.

Oh we are searching for the Queen, okaaay, that‘s news. Hm.