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jezabelle9299 · 5 months ago

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Stress Baking pt.3 S.R x fem!Reader

Quick Notes- More super cute fluff, Reader's boss sucks. Reader is taking an art-focused chemistry class, and is kind of struggling. (I wish I could be good at science so bad but I am endlessly confused.)

1 hour left. Then you get to go home, shower, and way overthink everything Penelope said to you. You were just finishing some of your paperwork when your boss came up to your desk. You plastered on a big fake smile in greeting.

“Y/N. I don’t know what you did, but those BAU boys seem to like you.” Oh cool, he wasn’t going to yell at you, just condescend. And write off the accomplishments of the female agents. Great.

“That’s nice.”

“Well Maria called in sick, and honestly, it’s probably best if they can keep going with the same person all night. So I need you to pull a double shift, alright?” Awesome. This is just awesome. He wasn’t really asking. Saying no would get you a lecture on being a team player, and an hour of hell while he tries to make you feel guilty. Staying would mean exhaustion, but in addition to being able to afford your tuition for the semester, you could splurge on some online shopping. Plus at least the overnight shift was quiet, not much call for a receptionist at 1 in the morning. You grit your teeth and pretend this isn’t a huge inconvenience as you reply.

“Sure! Shift ends at 3am right?” He gave a vaguely affirmative shrug and walked off. Nice, really feeling the appreciation. You were in for the long haul now, so you walked over to the break room for some more coffee.

You were alone in the breakroom, so you popped in some headphones to try and get your energy up. With music blasting at eardrum-rupturing volume, you tossed one more look over your shoulder to make sure no one else was there. Confident you were alone, you started quietly singing along as you got the coffee started. Then you reached for your favorite mug, which someone had unfortunately put on the top shelf, just barely out of reach. When you got up on your toes to try and reach it, a hand came from behind you, and grabbed it for you. Your balance was not great in this position, and that startled you just enough to knock you off balance. A strange man’s hand coming out of nowhere, right in your space, then before you knew it your ankle gave way and the same hand that startled you was wrapped around your waist as you let out a frankly embarrassing yelp. That was followed by an even more embarrassing fit of manic laughter as he touched the ticklish part of your hip when he props you back up.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I thought you heard me come in, I didn’t mean to startle you- and then, uh-touch. I’m so sorry.” He was freaking out about his, actually very welcome touch, so you attempted to be cool and reassuring. Even though you were totally freaking out too, for a completely different reason.

“It’s ok! It’s really-it’s fine. I was just distracted, and was listening to some loud music so I didn’t hear you.” But it was totally awkward now, both of your faces redder than a tomato. He backed away quickly after making sure you were back on balance, but you could still feel the heat of his closeness. And oh my god he smelled good. You searched for a change of subject while he got the mug down and set it gently on the counter in front of you.

“So-um Dr.Reid, how are things going in there with you guys?” You started pouring some coffee, grabbing one of the precinct mugs for Dr.Reid and pouring some coffee for him as well.

“Oh! Thank you that’s really-you’re really-nice. It’s going alright, I think we’re getting close. Our boss is filing a warrant request now, and we hope to find a pretty good break. Also you-uh you don’t have to call me doctor, just Spencer is fine.” Well if that wasn’t the most perfect name.

“That’s nice, Spencer, it’s a good name for you. And, I’m glad the investigation is going well.” He blushed at the complement as he passed you the sugar.

“Not that I’m not happy to talk to you, but haven’t you been here a while? I figured you would’ve had a shift change by now.”

“Oh yeah, the reception desk has a different shift schedule than the officers, so it’s easier to pass on messages in stuff. My shift was supposed to end in an hour, but the next girl called in sick. So it looks like you guys are stuck with me until 3!”

“That’s great us-I mean you know the team, because you know you’re very- very good at your job” You couldn’t help but smile, both at the compliment and his flusteredness. You really liked him, and after your conversation with Penelope you thought maybe he liked you too. Now you were near certain.

“So-um, what are you working on?” It took you a second to realize what he meant, as you’d gotten distracted by the very urgent matter of staring at his forearms while he stirred his coffee.

“Hm? Oh, I’m just studying. I’m working on my degree right now, but I have this chemistry class as part of it and it is not my strong suit. The class I’m taking is chemistry in art conversation, so super cool, but super difficult.”

“That is really cool, I could help you, if you like. I have a PhD in chemistry. And engineering. And mathematics. But I could help you study.” He looked more nervous with every accomplishment he mentioned, even though that only made him more compelling to you.

“Really? That would be amazing, but I don’t want to tear you away from your work.”

“It’s fine, we have to wait for the warrant request to be approved before we can do anything else anyway. So I’m…all yours for the next half hour or so.” All yours? You couldn’t help but smile at that idea. Even though the reality was probably going to be you two, sitting a professional distance apart, as you fumble through flashcards in the middle of the precinct for all to see. But the chance to spend more time with Spencer was well worth that particular embarrassment. You looked up at him so he could see your appreciation of the offer on your face.

“That would be great! Thank you so much, Spencer.” you just had to try out his first name again, it just felt…right saying it.

“I’ll pull up an extra chair to my desk and meet you there?” you offered, grabbing your mug from the counter.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there as soon as I check in with the team, just to let them know where I’ll be.” You gave a quick nod and started the walk back to your desk. This was your chance if there ever was one. You just wished Penelope was close enough for you to ask her advice before he came back.

______________________________________________________________________

You wanted him to help you. You thought his name suited him. You were wonderful. You were single.

He got most of that from just being near you for the past hours, the last part however, came straight from Penelope. After plenty of relentless teasing from Derek and Emily after your first meeting, she pulled him into her makeshift cave for the ensuing interrogation.

“Boy wonder, finally, you’re here. I only have like 3 minutes until this program is done, since this ancient system is keeping me from doing anything else in the meantime. So let’s hurry this along. You’re like in love with that sweet little receptionist right?”

His cheeks flamed and he knew he was caught. Derek teased him about almost every woman he talked to, but Penelope had never done this before. He had to make some attempt to be cool.

“What? Garcia, no?” He squeaked it out at twice his usual speaking pace though, with his voice even cracking halfway through. She saw right through him, rolling her eyes, and setting down the pen she was holding.

“Ok, I may only be a profiler by association, but you totally love her. And thanks to my fantastic sleuthing I found out she’s single. So go forth and live happily ever after, thank me later.” With that her computer chimed and she shoved him back out the door just in time to see you disappear into the break room.

He was walking back to the conference room to tell them where he'd be as quickly as he could without raising suspicion. He didn’t tell them about what happened in the break room, in an effort to minimize the teasing so that he could get back to you quickly. Although Derek still clapped him on the back for his “game”.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #dr spencer reid

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ryuichirou · 1 year ago

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Thanks for feeding us neigevil fans. I love your art so seeing you drawing this ship makes me happy, may the gods of twst gacha be kind to you 🥰

Idk if anyone has asked but thoughts or headcanons of neigevil? What about Rollo?

(We got this ask after this art)

Thank you so much for showing our stuff so much love, NeigeVil fans <3 It means a lot! And I, once again, am sorry that it took me a long time to reply. Like I’ve probably mentioned before, I want to draw these two again at some point. But today is not the day; instead, today is the day you get your headcanons, Anon!

Also if you haven’t seen these yet, here is the link to our post with Rollo-centric headcanons. We love this boy very much, and we’re super excited that he got himself a pretty-looking card.

Alrighty, so Neige/Vil…

Neige has a crush on Vil, and this crush has been with him ever since their first meeting. But he isn’t really sure about the nature of these feelings. He is very open about them with his dwarf friends though: sometimes he comes back from work happy and singing because he met Vil after his photoshoot and had a chat with him. So they all know that he is either in love or just really really really wants to be Vil’s friend. Neige isn’t sure which one it is either.

Neige remembers how cool and professional Vil looked when they first met, how he shook his hand and stuff. It wasn’t Vil’s first time on set, even though it was his first role, so he really made Neige feel comfortable by just being so confident and relaxed and excited. Neige really treasures this memory, but Vil doesn’t seem to remember much of it.

But what Vil does remember is that he thought they were going to become friends back then. Maybe it was because Neige asked him to be his friend, maybe it was because they had a lot of fun that day, but unfortunately it was one of many potential friendships that got ruined by the adults comparing these two to each other. It was pretty early on when Vil decided that he’d never be Neige’s friend. Neige is kind of oblivious to this whole thing though, he thinks that Vil is his friend, and the main reason he’s so distant is that he is just way too cool and professional and busy to hang out with him.

Vil has influenced Neige’s style a lot. He has no idea just how much time Neige spends looking at his magicam and taking notes and trying very hard to find clothes that would look as if Vil has picked them for him. If you talked to him about it, he would chuckle and say that he is too shy to ask Vil directly.

Which isn’t a complete truth though: he isn’t really shy around Vil. He gets so excited that he forgets about his shyness entirely and starts talking and clinging to Vil and trying to make him pay attention to him. He is completely enamored and he stares a lot at him in general. He really wishes they’d spend more time together…

A lot of times Vil just rolls eyes at Neige (always sneakily though, he knows better than to show a fellow actor his distaste for him), but he does admire his professionalism. And yes, there are moments when he thinks that Neige isn’t just overly cute and sweet, but actually quite a good-looking guy. Not entirely his type, but still handsome nonetheless…. Why is he thinking about it, again?

Vil is, like I mentioned, oblivious about Neige’s feelings. If anything, he believes that Neige is simply being a nice innocent boy and is friendly with everyone, so there isn’t anything special about the way he treats Vil. But jokes on you, Vil, because every single selfie with you that Neige takes instantly become Neige’s phone lock screen for weeks, until his management asks him to change it into something else.

Neige doesn’t have a lot of selfies with Vil though, because Vil always comes up with an excuse to avoid it. He is either in a hurry, or doesn’t feel good, or has a bad hair day, there’s always something that prevents Neige from taking a selfie with Vil. So it’s kind of a personal mission for Neige at this point lol Their fanbases also crave for this selfie… The day NeigeVil finally drop a picture of them together, the internet is going to explode.

A couple of spicy ones; if these two were to find themselves in any kind of intimate situation (even if it’s just a pretend thing for a role or something), Neige would comment about how much more experienced Vil is, and how he’ll work hard to be on his level. This comment sounds horrible to Vil in any context: the idea of Neige working hard to be a perfect lover to him is too cursed to consider. But it’ll still make him blush.

And jokes on Vil once again, because Neige is such a fast learner, that one moment he is a very sloppy kisser, and then suddenly he kisses and touches his body in all the right places because “he just felt like it’d make Vi-kun feel nice there”. Vil is going to both get overwhelmed by how good it feels, and be in agony because fuck you Neige stop being a prodigy at everything.

#replies #headcanons #neigevil

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haruki-neo · 5 months ago

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💀

added a keep reading so you don’t have to scroll-

Leo He/they

Aro-Ace 15

Midland painted Turtle

claimed oldest. actually second youngest. hates that fact he is leader also doesn’t like being put on the spot. he loves green tea or matcha things

.isn’t too big of a fan of sweets, always cold for some unknown reason (hence the pants and sometimes scarf). haphephobia. has a sticker collection.👍 not picky will eat any kind of pizza!!🤍 weirdly aggressive

Likes: foggy weather

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Donnie He/They

gay 15

Razor-backed musk turtle

Claimed second oldest. is actually the oldest oldest. tired boy who yaps way too much and drinks A LOT of coffee. he loves sweets especially dark chocolate. doesn’t like fizzy drinks. His glasses turn into goggles:D. has mysophobia and just likes wearing clothes. eats healthy most of the time. Veggie pizza!!🤍cares about his looks a bit too much-

likes: sunny weather

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Raph He/Him

straight. 14

Red eared slider

Claimed second youngest. is actually the second oldest. loves rock and metal music. Entomophobia. always hot for some unknown reason (hence the lack of clothes). loves to annoy donnie especially when he’s working and goes easy and nice on Mikey. he loves confetti and bubblegum ice cream and or mints. Meat lovers pizza!!🤍 Absolutely loves soda

likes:windy weather

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Mikey He/Him

??? 11

cagle's map turtle

Claimed youngest. Is the youngest. Headphones 24/7!! silly lil guy :D Nyctophobia. mini artist and has pet cat named klunk, will die for klunk. neapolitan ice cream! Very interesting little fella . cracks really bad jokes at the most inappropriate and offensive times. Doesn’t like vegetables and HATES cherry tomatoes. really picky eater. cheese pizza🤍sneaks out of the lair with Aprils help a lot of the time

likes: rain.

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Splinter. he’s/him

??? idfk

Rat.

More silly than the other versions of splinter and a lot more laid back, chill. king of April fools!! would do anything for his silly goofy sons! cheese everything!!!! EXTRA cheesy pizza!🤍 Not too much on him. sorry

likes: cool sunny weather.

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April She/They

bi. 19

uh..uh..human?

in college. what’s to be popular streamer and or you-tuber. Athazagoraphobia. has a roommate named irma and loves to stay up late. like homework and is lazy as hell. will do a lot. A LOT. of things for views. has glasses but wears contacts. Neapolitan Pizza. 🤍

Likes: Warm sunny weather

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Casey. He/They

Pan. 18-20

uh.. uh.. human?

In college, chill dude. has roommate named Haruki. buff!! happy go lucky people person. will die for a complete stranger. wants to be a police officer or someone who helps people. Super athletic and is quite equal in terms of stamina and speed with the turtles. has cool vigilante uniform!! California or Chicago style pizza🤍!

Likes: rain

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Klunk. klunk/klunk

klunk. ♾️

snow highland lynx

ice cream backpack. klunk. chubby fat cat klunk.

klunk.

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sorry there’s no art. but thank you if you did i read it! hopefully all the info is correct cuz i wrote this half asleep. 😰

#tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt klunk #tmnt michelangelo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt casey jones #tmnt april #tmnt splinter #more art soon hopefully-

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mysteriousdoll · 5 months ago

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I admit I have been stalking your page for a put 30 minutes AND OMG YOUR WORK IS SO COOL I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND I LOVE ALL YOUR ART AND HEADCANONS OMG-

Anyway, I was reading the HCs you and somebody else came up with and I have one but I'm not 100% sure on it. Like my mind is debating it intensely.

In ishimondo which one can cook?

THIS IS A KIND OF LONG ONE SORRY-

My thought:

. Due to official art they can both cook?

. Or one is teaching the other to cook?

. Mondo seems like the guy who can't cook (just based on appearance tbh) but with his backstory he's had to fend for himself, so can he cook???

. And with Ishimaru, he seems like the person who knows how to cook, and maybe his father is out so often that he's self taught?

. But on the other hand he's spent all his time studying he hasnt taught himself those kind of skills.. sure he can make two minute noodles, or cook an egg or make some toast. But nothing fancy?

. Or maybe breakfast is the most important meal of the day to him?!?!?! Maybe it's in his routine to cook every morning?!?! Maybe he makes food for his father when he comes home from late shifts, or has bacon and egg on Sundays???

. Or he's terrible in the kitchen, and mondo taught him.

Can they both cook? Have you ever thought about this?! Sorry for the long ramble of options but I've thought about this for a week and have no idea.😭

Uhm yeah I'm going to put this on anon in case it's silly or something, but you probably know who I am based on the notes and notifications and stuff👍

Also idk if shadow banning works on tumblr like it does tiktok but if you want me to stop spam liking your posts I will, I just love your content 😭

One: screaming rn I feel so happy I’ve never had my posts stalked /pos (except for my Ben 10 acct which is bad bc I’m making an ishimondo Ben 10 au)

Two: No need to stop!! Idm!! Tbh the thing that makes me happiest is seeing people go wild in the tags, so I’m v honored.

Three: I agree! I think Mondo isn’t the beeest cook, but if it comes to Italian meals (thanks to my own hc’s and my Oowada mom oc), he’s not that bad! Although he has a bad habit of letting things overcook… he’s the type to burn popcorn and insist it’s better that way.

As for Taka, I think he’s actually quite the skilled cook—but only with more basic options. Taka’s very rigid, so if he is able to cook something more extravagant, he’ll follow it by the book, and maybe even ask Teruteru for his input. (Ignoring comments Teruteru makes and Gundham glaring Teruteru down)

The only issue with Taka cooking is… he forgets to eat a lot. (And thanks to his grandad, he sometimes chooses not to eat because he dare take one extra minute of free time) That, and his food is either bland, or so spicy no one but him can eat it. A hot while back I saw @mickules mention in a post that Taka would be a spice fiend, and I. Live for that.

Also also—regarding system Taka bc I’m always gonna mention system Taka /j, Akira (aka Ishida) is actually an extremely talented baker! They aren’t super big on sweet food ironically, but they can make really good baked goods even with limited ingredients… though they prefer crunchier foods)

Additionally; Mondo can’t fucking make ramen. He just takes someone else’s. Taka can also make insanely good omurice. Proof for Taka bc I can’t find the anthology comic with Mondo:

#asks #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo oowada #mondo owada #ishimondo #danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #headcanons #long post

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shiningmystic · 2 years ago

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Your strength/inner power

PAC General Tarot reading

Hey hey, been feeling kinda down and tired so probs not gonna post for a bit but I wanted to get this reading out to the ones who need some self empowerment. I always get super hyped when I read one of these so I hope and bless this reading to reach the people who need a pick me up❤️

When I choose a pile I close my eyes and see which pile is coming towards me. Never be afraid to pick multiple piles for they may all apply to you :)

Pile 1

Page of pentacles

10 of pentacles

High priestess

Omg you are seriously a wonderful person. I see you spreading your lovely energy even if you don’t actively try, just your presence is enough to lighten a room! You may hold yourself back and are more of the observer type. You like analyzing the situation before jumping into anything especially when it comes to important work or projects. I see you as an intuitive person and can catch on to things quite easily, def a fast learner when you are shown what to do.

One of your many strengths come from your thoughts and analysis; you care for your health and wealth like a true winner. You have a keen eye for detail and someone I see many look up to even secretly. You may be a curious person/philosophical and want to discover secrets to life to share to others; this doesn’t have to be spiritual either, could be life hacks, self care regimes, healthy meals. just things that could make others lives brighter and much more fulfilling. You are willing to try and discover new things. Many of you are young but I can see old soul energy where you have much wisdom to share to the world in any art form that aligns with you. Whenever I see the high priestess I can’t help but mention the third eye, you guys can’t help but see many sides to people you don’t wanna see or even being able to relate to both sides of an argument and knowing both are right and wrong. You know the world isn’t black and white, I respect the heck out of you. Knowing both sides to a situation though needs to not cloud your own emotions. spirit asks for you to know this strength may be holding you back on your emotions and feeling them out instead of logically thinking through it (I do this a lot too haha) Even if it’s not right for you to feel a certain way doesn’t mean that feeling isn’t valid! Sorry had to squeeze this message in there 😂 I have a feeling many of you are studying philosophy or something that puts to question reality and it’s ideals/priorities if not you do ponder about it. I mean having the high priestess out I’m assuming many who pick this will be fellow witches or are spiritual in your own way, hi hello 😂 Keep being you please your really cool!

Pile 2

The chariot (rx)

the hanged man (rx)

the hermit

You see a lot of sadness, my empath group. There’s a lot you try to take in and you see this as a weakness, it is not. this is a strength reading and that means this IS a strength so here is some advice; you being able to see people for who they truly are is such a magical thing and you see people truly for there good even if you also see the bad. I can also see you being able to balance yourself and keep level head in heavy/dramatic situations but after all the intensity you need to come back to yourself and let it out. You may be more of a homebody and this allows you to really understand yourself and discover your wants and needs. You put things on hold for others, you sacrifice your time and energy for them especially people you are close to 🥹 you’re so lovely I can’t describe it. Even spirit is telling me you have so many more gifts hidden waiting to be discovered and learned. Your such a heavy giver it is a blessing to have you amongst us but I can see another strength you are developing is balancing that giver and take energy, give yourself that credit please you are such a fighter. If you felt connected to pile 1 go check it out 😉

You see this world so differently from others my love and there is nothing wrong with that, we need people like you and pile 1 where you can see both sides to a situations and figure out what the root could be. You may also be analytical like pile one being able to pick up little details here and there in many types of situations. Your power is your perspective and opinion, you have a strong one at that. I can feel many of you kind souls don’t want to share your opinion in fear it may hurt others; love comes from truth and can be framed in a gentler way. If those people take your opinion personally then they are only projecting their insecurities; I see you only want to help you gorgeous being . I see you do hide away a lot from the hermit, it’s good to know when you need space and I see you still learning to find that balance. You are the group that takes on a lot of others energy I’m hearing you should exercise and get out more this will release the excess you absorb. You are being acknowledged for your effort to balance your life in a harmonious way, good job ❤️ your resilience is incomparable. I can see you keep getting back up even when you fall and it’s always going to be hard to get up but you do anyway, you make me so proud to be here and you have the ability to know when something is to much, your empathic powers have evolved I’m hearing so keep learning knew methods to find peace my love. You have unwavering belief on what you want and are willing to share your riches with others. You may be at a low atm and you need to be aware you are enough, all the effort is enough and the world or you may say otherwise. Listen to me, YOU ARE SO WORTHY and will receive what you deserve and that is the world. I wanna cry for some reason because some of you do be struggling. Take a break when you need to you know what is best for you lovely.

Pile 3

7 of cups

Knight of cups (rx)

Strength

What a multi talented person you are pile 3! I can see you have a soft spot for your freedom and will fight anyone for it. You may be over emotional in certain situation but because this is about your strength I see these emotions working for you and showing the world you are not a person to be trifled with. This is my extroverted pile haha you guys know who you are and will take every step it takes to get to your destination wether it be a goal or just a fun on and off project. From this emotional body of yours it seems to drive you in certain directions you may have never taken; you follow the flame and even wander off sometimes. We need people like you to show the world what else is out there, you guys are eccentric and find new ways to do things; work smarter not harder. As a lion tamer you all have a beast within that you hold at bay (this is probs tied to your emotional body) and with focused power you can change anyone’s mind and even inspire others to do similar things.

Because you have multiple talents I see you spread yourself thin. Don’t take this as a weakness because all you have to do is figure out how to make it work, an I see you discovering it like how pile 2 is learning to balance their strength as well. I can see you strengths comes from your dreams and ideals; your standards are high for the world because you a king/queen who will rule it one day ✨You have certain expectations for the world and if they don’t meet them then you will let them KNOW and leave them in your path of flames 🔥

I can see another side to you that honors peace and protects those who provide it, you help the underdogs and lift them up. You are just well rounded person good on you! Keep developing your emotional body and keep fighting the good fight!

I hope this helped pump you up for you next day, week or month!!! I’ve been getting so motivated, I have been exercising and even though I’m kinda forced to make better choices (because of my stomach issues) I’ve been feeling like a new me is being created. I’m breaking away from old habits my energy is probably chaos right now 😂 good luck my loves! Slay the world 🌎

The deck I used was Modern Witch Tarot deck by Lisa Sterle

- ShiningMystic 🪴

#witchcraft #witchblr #shmtarot #shiningmystictarot #tarot reading #pac #strength #spiritblr #pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot #spirituality

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mouwrites · 1 year ago

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Hi omg I loved your hcs so much it was so cute 😭😭 idk if u do platonic asks but if so can I request Craig & Tweek finding out their close friend (f!reader) has a secret + famous tiktok account with fanart of them??? No worries if u don’t!!

EEK sorry this took so long lovely! I'm still figuring out how to write South Park characters heheh ^^" so sorry if it's a lil ooc

also thank you for your sweet words!! You’re too kind!

Word count: 816

South Park - Craig & Tweek Finding Out About Your Secret Art TikTok

You hummed along quietly to the music playing in your ears, masterfully adding details to the sketch you were working on. You were enjoying the warmer weather while it lasted; though, living in South Park, that wasn’t saying much. Any non-resident would deem the weather to be too chilly to be outside already, but you knew it was going to get much colder when fall finally set in. So, there you were, out on a park bench, sketching merrily, barely noticing the way the breeze nipped at your nose.

“Speak of the devil.”

“Devil?!”

Two familiar voices sounded from somewhere behind you. Startled, you clapped your sketchbook shut with a yelp. You had recognized the voices instantly. They were the exact people you absolutely did not need to run into right now.

Plastering on a nervous smile, you turned around slowly. Sure enough, there stood your best friends Craig and Tweek. Craig had his phone out, and judging from how close the two were standing, they had both been looking at whatever was on it.

“Hey guys. Enjoying the weather?” You began nervously as they approached your bench.

Craig had a mischievous grin as he plopped down beside you. “I guess. Pretty cold, though. Wish I was at home, snuggled up like this.” He turned his phone so you could see it.

To your horror, art from your tiktok was on the screen. It was a doodle you did not too long ago of Craig and Tweek cuddling. At the time you were proud of it, but now you buried your face in your hands to hide your embarrassment.

“What’s wrong?!” Tweek fretted. “Craig, you’ve upset them!”

“No, no,” you reassured him. “It’s just… you guys weren’t supposed to know about that.” Your face was so hot that you could no longer feel the cold at all.

“With the numbers you’re pulling? Honestly I’m surprised we didn’t find out sooner.”

You had sort of liked having such a large following, but it seemed that your blessing had become a curse. Feeling shameful and regretful, you pulled out your phone. “I’m sorry, guys. I really am. I’ll take the posts with you in them down. I know it’s super creepy and—”

“Hold on,” Craig grabbed your arm, stopping you before you even unlocked your phone. “It’s not creepy; you’re our friend. The only thing that’s creepy is that you kept it a secret.”

“Yeah! Why did you keep this from us? Did you think we—ack—wouldn’t like it?”

“...don’t you?” You stared at them both with a befuddled expression.

“Are you kidding? Your art style is really good. Plus, you make us look… cute… together.” Craig glanced at Tweek, giving his boyfriend’s hand a squeeze.

“So… you’re not mad?”

“I’m mad that you kept this from us!” Tweek flashed a smile. “We’ve totally been missing out!”

Craig nodded. “We’ll be looking forward to seeing more of your art. Not just of us, of course.”

You breathed a heavy sigh of relief, slouching on the bench. “I was afraid you’d be mad. I mean, I was kinda drawing you without your permission.”

“I reiterate: you’re our friend. We don’t mind.”

“So, just to be clear, it’s cool if I keep drawing you guys?”

“Of course. We’re looking forward to it.”

You couldn't help but sigh again. You smiled to yourself, overjoyed to have your friends' support, especially when you had been expecting quite the opposite.

“Say, isn’t that your sketchbook?” Tweek jabbed a finger towards the book in your lap.

You perked up, remembering what you had been drawing. “Oh! It is! Do you guys want to see what I was drawing?”

You opened it up to the page you had been working on. “You guys get to see it before the rest of my followers.”

Little smiles graced your friends’ faces as they examined the work. It wasn’t finished, but it was a sketch of them both sitting on a park bench, Tweek’s head on Craig’s shoulder and their fingers intertwined atop Tweek’s knee.

“Here, Tweek, put your head like that,” Craig gestured to the page, and Tweek stiffly planted his head on Craig’s shoulder.

You giggled as they attempted to mirror their pose in the drawing. “Perfect,” you said, positioning yourself to resume drawing. “Stay just like that; I’m turning this into a still-life piece.”

When you finished, you showed your muses. Tweek’s mouth dropped open in awe. “You’re such a good artist!” He gushed, ripping the sketchbook from your hand and putting the drawing inches away from his face. While he was absorbed in admiring your work, Craig looked away somewhat bashfully.

“Do you think we could do this more often? Pose for you, I mean.”

“To give you an excuse to be cute with your boyfriend?” You teased. Then, more seriously, you told him that there was nothing you’d love more.

Unfortunately your followers didn’t enjoy the realistic piece as much as your stylized art, but to you it was the most beautiful drawing you’d done in a long time.

Thank you anon for the request! And thank you for reading! <3

(divider by saradika)

#south park #south park x reader #craig tucker #tweek tweak #craig x tweek #creek #south park creek

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myfairkatiecat · 7 months ago

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💙💛💕 for KOTLC and Percy Jackson?

Ooooh ok

💙 Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

For KOTLC, I actually have no unpopular opinions on this because I think all my kotlc guys are super attractive. However I will say that cover art of Keefe is not it. I believe in that boy’s hotness it just isn’t on the covers

For Percy Jackson, I think I have to say Piper (even though I love her!!!) (hm. That was more HOO. Still same universe so I’m sticking to it)

💛 What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

For KOTLC, I have to go with Solinh. I just don’t understand it. I think they’re super cool platonically and the fanart is adorable but they’re…friends…..

For Percy Jackson, I am so sorry but people who ship Percy with Jason or Nico or literally anyone but Annabeth. Like I’m sorry guys but he has a soulmate. They are each other’s one and only

💕What is an unpopular ship that you like?

For KOTLC, lava cake 😂 I mean I’m only half joking. We are few but we are powerful and it’s sort of a crack ship but guys come on. It’s cute. As for something I really ship I think Dex and Linh—look I’m a huge Dexiana fan, but also he’s be so genuinely cute with Linh, they’d just separate off from the group and do their own thing adorably. So, if Tam ends up with Biana, I think Dex should get Linh (oh dear. I’m really breaking up Marellihn here aren’t I. Oops—)

For Percy Jackson, I know Leo and Calypso aren’t always loved by the fandom but I love them and that’s all that matters!!

Thanks for the ask!

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #huh all my opinions were actually hoo #whatever that’s the same universe #ask game

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aspiring-holistic-otaku · 8 months ago

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Season 3 Ramble#2 - “romance" lol ver.3

This month’s episode is all about romance, the third time around now and somehow I find myself with yet another tweak in format. Guess that just goes to show that love comes in many forms. In any case this month’s format isn’t that different from last time. I’ve still split my reads into 3 categories, the main difference is that the categories themselves have changed. Last time it was cute stuff, fucked up stuff and lewd stuff, this time I still have the cute category but I've switched out the other two based on this month’s reads, which I'll explain as we get to them.

So basically how this episode is gonna go is I'm gonna give my top reads this month in ascending order for each of those categories and then my top 1 reads before this month for the same.

Getting right into it the first category up is

Awww {basically v cute v innocent stuff}

#3) The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague (ongoing w 57 chapters, story & art by Miyuki Tonogaya)

This is an extremely simple but extremely cute story. The title pretty much summarizes it actually, the main character is the descendant of an ice demon, which is apparently not too strange in this world since he works a normal office job,,, and he has a crush on his cool, stoic, almost expressionless female colleague.

It's a pretty neat take on slow burns because one it's pointedly ice related, and secondly the ice guy’s emotions affect his environment, like if he gets too excited there'll be a blizzard or tiny snowmen will appear.. If you've ever had a crush on someone you know it's already hard enough to act natural or “be cool" so this guy has a pretty rough go of it.

The art is pretty nice but the characters, especially the wider cast leaves more than a bit to be desired. It actually almost kinda feels like the creator really just wanted to focus on the main two but the editor was like,, that's not how the real world works, especially not in an office... I do appreciate though that some of the wider cast includes different types of demons and it’s fun to see the different ways their emotions leak out, the different pairings, and so on.

As I said it’s an extremely simple story, almost feels like a 4 panel tbh, nothing I'd push too hard but it’s undeniably cute and makes for a super easy binge read or just something to pick up from time to time to escape the harshness of reality and indulge in the very cute but very absurd fantasy of a successful workplace romance… I think more than a few ppl have that one coworker you would if you could… but no… just no… leave it alone… leave it in fiction land my friend…

#2) Skip and Loafer (ongoing w 58 chapters, story & art by Misaki Takamatsu)

The story here follows our main heroine, a real go getter, who moved from the countryside to big city Tokyo for highschool, all so she could follow her dreams of being a politician and help out in rural areas around the country. Anyways she’s characterized as not being great at much else but studying, and in that spirit, gets lost on the way to her entrance ceremony. Here enters our main hero who’s also late but for the opposite reason, he’s super laid back, slept late and was considering just skipping but he felt sorry for this obviously lost but obviously trying girl so he decides to help her out and the story takes off from there.

Just wanna get out of the way that I love all the characters and their interactions with each other and especially within themselves. If anything, that's this manga’s strongest point. It makes the characters ooze real feelings that really feels in place for each where they are. Like not too dramatic where you wonder if they’re really highschool kids or even in school for that matter, and not too fantasy like where everything is perfect and it’s almost like characters are machines just filling a roll.

It kicks off pretty early on with engaging character interactions and the way they change and develop as the main cast gets to know each other is really endearing. I especially really really love the main heroine because she’s that innocent character type but it’s not done in that way that makes her this pure cinnamon roll that’s too good for this world, where nothing gets her down or she chooses peace and love every time. Her thing is that she’s basically socially inept and so she doesn’t really get when people are mean or even when they're being nice sometimes, but she’s all by herself in this new place so she’s trying and though she doesn’t always get it, it’s a real pleasure to see her grow.

It’s ongoing, only 58 chapters but there’s been a ton of realness and real growth in a bunch of ways for most of the cast packed in so far. Really can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Anyways, cool art, great cast, love the interactions and would definitely highly recommend this one.

#1) Horimiya (complete w 152 chapters, story by HERO & art by Daisuke Hagiwara)

The story here is that the main hero/heroine pair each have a hidden side to them that nobody else knows. At school, the heroine is always super put together but when she’s at home she’s too busy taking care of her little brother for all that and takes on a more homely caretaker persona (the art is shoujo leaning so she and most of the main cast pretty much always looks pretty). But anyways, at school, the hero is seen as a gloomy glasses wearing loner but when he leaves school he looks like he came out of a rock magazine. Tattoos and piercings everywhere. Anyways, this and that happens, the convenient plot is convenient and they end up becoming friends who hold each other’s secrets.

As much as the story kinda feels like shoujo perfect world fantasy stuff, and as much as it came out as top 1 largely because it’s complete, I think a small part of it might have been that a tiny part of me still wants to believe in, and might even still want that kind of “perfect” love. From the innocent buildup to the accumulation of every day special normals and beyond… but in any case, I did honestly like the theme of more and more of your true self coming to the surface and being able to show that true self to someone.

Overall, besides the main pairing, the cast was kinda weak, not bad, just pretty one dimensional But that one dimension was very cute and fluffy and this being a romance manga, it worked. What I will say though is that it took a while for the wider cast to come into play and even more for them to make me care, like not until late 50s heading into 70s did i care about anyone but the main pairing. Meanwhile skip and loafer only has about 50 chapters total and I was fully invested in the entire cast well before then.

But as I said, when the full horimiya cast rolls in it’s all very cute and I liked that they even made the platonic same sex relations pretty cute like yh guys just having fun and it’s not weirdly pervy in any direction, just another form of love yk.. v cool… Again it did have me yearning a bit like wow imagine having a life with both platonic AND romantic relationships being healthy and fulfilling.

Anywho,, pretty neat art, the story kinda just goes on ig but having in mind that it was a romance and it goes on in an increasingly cute way and all, i’d recommend it.

hm:

Even the Introverted Gals Wanna Get Out There! - pretty funny, maybe more funny than cute, also it’s girl on girl, think dead dead demon’s destruction but the main heroines actually get to live life and breath air, literally just vibing out in the club room after school (ongoing w about 6 chaps)

Train Man - Net Development, the Love Story of a Local Train: based on a true story apparently, basically a dude saves some people on a train and becomes friends with one of them and stuff take off from there (complete w 27 chapters)

ftr everything in the main list has an anime but i can’t speak on their status or quality

also ftr I'd definitely rate skip and loafer higher than horimiya overall but because this is the cuteness category, + horimiya is a complete story which I tend to favour for higher places in lists and stuff

next category up is

Dense & Denser

{this is basically when one or more of the characters are just oblivious to any love flags thrown their way}

#2) How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend (complete w 42 chapters, story & art by Takeshi Moriki, original LN story by Fumiaki Maruto)

Had never heard of this one before but the title pulled me in like how and why would one raise a boring girlfriend anyways?

The story here is that on the way to school the mc has an encounter with a mystery girl and it’s love at first sight, even though he didn’t see her face…. The mc is an anime/manga otaku much like myself, and this encounter inspires him to make a dating sim game, but after he happens to actually meet the mystery girl face to face, he finds that she’s actually kind of plain,, albeit in a cute sort of way. In any case the feeling of their first mystery meeting lives on so he pushes through with his idea, intending to transform this girl into his ideal heroine. The main story, relations and problems arise around him trying to get the dev team together for this game, and of course this being romance they’re all girls.

It’s all very funny in a very meta way, with commentary on anime/manga culture in most chapters, and the so called main heroine, being outside that culture, usually playing a very good straight man. It’s also meta in how the mc goes about getting his dev team together, as i said they’re all girls so it’s almost like his life becomes a dating sim in trying to woo them into his harem… i mean game dev team…

In any case I’m not even actually sure the mc really counts as romantically dense or if he was just so committed to the bit of being a single weeb undeserving of love that he just pretended not to notice all the pretty loud romantic undertones,,, but maybe that's a type of density in itself… a younger me can def relate… being committed to the bit is a lifestyle… bed is bae… anyways it’s kind of ecchi but still surprisingly good in both the romance and meta aspects. Pretty good art, they made a decision to keep the cast compact and it worked out very nicely. It wraps up in just under 50 chapters but I will say each chapter is pretty dense and can be a bit word heavy. Would recommend.

#1) Monthly Girls’ Nozaki (ongoing w 148 chapters, story & art by Izumi Tsubaki)

This story follows our main heroine as she tries to get the attention of her crush, who is our mc. In approaching him she finds out he’s actually her favourite romance manga creator and through this and that ends up working on it with him as an assistant to try and get closer to him.

Right off the bat I think everyone in this cast is pretty dense but man is the main hero just the most dense mf in the universe. I feel sorry for the main heroine cause she knows but she’s just so down bad for him she kinda becomes dense to how down bad she is. In any case every chapter takes the form of a series of connected 4 panel stories and it’s pretty funny throughout.

The wider cast is pretty neat, nothing too crazy but as i said they’re all pretty dense in their own weird ways so the interactions are usually funny. The art is solid, cast is okay, pretty funny, would recommend for sure.

ftr both have an anime not sure of status or quality

and again ftr i’d rank boring girlfriend over monthly girls’ in general, especially as it’s complete it’s just that this is the dense & denser category and monthly girls’ nozaki is definitely dense central, like black hole event horizon density my friends…

and the last category

That’s Rough Buddy

{a direct reference to avatar when sokka told prince zuko his girlfriend turned into the moon and his response was “that’s rough buddy”, this category is different from the that’s fucked up category I used in very.2 in that these focus more on emotional turmoil and have no physical violence and so on}

#3) Kowloon Generic Romance (ongoing w 61 chapters, story & art by Jun Mayuzuki)

This is kind of eh tbh, cool art, and it’s kind of a mystery as to what’s goin on, so much so that I don’t think I can describe it without spoiling so i’ll lean on the anilist/yen press summary a bit here which is as follows:

“Welcome to Kowloon Walled City: a dystopian townscape where the people are brimming with nostalgia, and where the past, present, and future converge. Amid the hidden emotions and extraordinary daily lives of the men and women working in its confines, a tale of romance begins to unfold for real estate agent Reiko Kujirai—one that feels as familiar as Kowloon itself…”

I doubt that told you anything but I hope it sparks some intrigue, I will say it has a good number of dope one liners, and if i’m being honest the main characters smoke a lot which is an aesthetic I love for some reason so sue me…

Not much else to say tbh, nice art as I said, it’s pretty cool, okay cast, the story is pulling a bit but the bait isn’t that strong, though the aesthetics of it all has definitely caught my eye so I will be keeping up with it after this month… i wouldn’t push it as a recommendation that hard but there’s only 61 chapters rn so no real loss if you do decide to check it out

#2) How Do We Relationship? (ongoing w 115 chapters, story & art by tamifull)

The story here is that the main heroines are gay and in reality no matter how much the media and conservatives want ppl to believe that homosexuality and homosexuals are accepted and normalized in society, in fact that anything but being heterosexual and cisgender passing is accepted & normalized, that’s simply not the case in real life. I live in jamaica and man, not that I really care, but I could get shunned just for reading stuff with gays in it… In any case that’s the sort of reality the main heroines live in which was cool for its realness as they were/are hiding the fact that they're gay, but in any case plot plot plot they end up going out….

This is the “that’s rough buddy” category so I think it’s okay to spoil that it doesn’t go smoothly though I won’t go into further detail. I will mention a really cool thing the author said in an afterword where they say that a lot of romance stories tend to build towards and end at the start of the main characters getting into a relationship, but life isn’t like that. There’s life after that and that’s sort of what they wanted to illustrate. The life after a relationship…. Sounds like a spoiler but remember there’s more than just our heroines in the story. there’s a whole wider cast and they’re all pretty great. each having their own relationship troubles or lack thereof, ideas and philosophies on love and etc.

Pretty solid art, in fact it really reminds me of yokohama shopping log, so much so that i’m convinced it’s a fanfiction created just to make the characters from that series actually full on gay. Pretty solid cast, a story that gets more and more engaging as it goes on though it’s pretty solid from the start. would definitely highly recommend though it can be a bit tumultuous like damn you guys just never gonna be stable huh??

#1) Chobits (complete w 88 chapters, story & art by CLAMP an all woman manga group formed in the mid 1980s made of Nanase Ohkawa, Mokona, Tsubaki Nekoi and Satsuki lgarashi)

I’d always seen this around and always as the profile picture for some more than suspicious internet accounts… the vibe it gave off in my periphery view was just horrendous tbh but i took the dive and it was worth it, obviously, coming in at #1.

The story here is that in the future, the world is inhabited by humans who live alongside their extremely powerful computers called persocoms, that are shaped to look and act almost human. numerous stories have taken this angle so I think you can imagine the effects that would have on society, but in any case the story follows our mc who recently moved from the countryside to the city and ends up finding one in the trash that he takes in and starts to take care of. The thing is their memory is corrupted so he has to teach them everything, but soon enough the mystery of the discarded persocom comes to light and their abilities could change the world.

All that pompous stuff aside the theme of discerning the shape of love and who deserves it was pretty cool, the mc was bleh and so was most of the cast but the last few chapters and the questions they posed were enough, especially the origin story of the persocom like damn… that’s rough as fuck buddy,, def kinda weird but my condolences all the same…. Art was okay… and yh i’d recommend it..

hm:

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai

Top Combo

Video Girl Ai (complete w 131 chapters, story & art by Masakazu Katsura)

This was probably my fav read this month, somewhere between this, boring girlfriend and skip & loafer but this definitely has the best combinations of the different categories I was working with this month.

Again this is something I'd seen floating around for the longest and associated with more than sus accounts but it was pretty good.

The lazy story is that the mc is a lame with no game and his crush ends up confessing to his best friend in front of him. obviously distraught he ends up renting what he thinks is a porn tape.. which I guess it technically is but it's supernatural in that the girl comes out of the TV and tries to mend the viewers’ heart.

Things get super complicated and it turns into the weirdest love polygon I've ever seen, lots of back and forth and dilly dallying but I enjoyed it. The art was great, had a great classic feel, there's more than a bit of ecchi but it's not entirely distasteful or weirdly out of context, the characters and their interactions were a bit exasperating with the back and forth, loves me loves me not stuff but that had its own entertainment value, and in any case I'd recommend it

now moving onto stuff from before this month, which I won't get into details for as I've spoken on them in previous versions which I'm encouraging you to go listen to or read the transcripts for,,

Oldies

Awww

Our Precious Conversations (top 1 oldie ver.1)

Dense & Denser

That's Rough Buddy

Hi Score Girl (top 1 ver. 2)

Boy's Abyss (top2 wtf ver. 1)

That's it for this part, got a little off cuff rambling in the rest of the ramble of you wanna listen in, thanks for checking this out as usual, hope you can find something here or elsewhere that you'll love and I hope you have a good one until next time 🍻

#just another day #mm..manga #writeup #the ice guy and his cool female colleague #skip and loafer #horimiya #how to raise a boring girlfriend #monthly girls' nozaki kun #kowloon generic romance #how do we relationship?#chobits #Spotify

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neverwritewhatyouknow · 1 year ago

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Let’s talk about backlash and response in the Red, White & Royal Blue literary and cinematic universe.

The book:

Casey changed two things in the book when there was backlash, and honestly the fact that they were so quick to respond to these and not anything else is kinda super upsetting.

The first was the Harry Potter books that Alex (and Henry too?) read, and like obviously JKR is a fucking bad person, but… The books exist! Millions of people read the books! Mentioning them by name isn’t gonna make you a bad person, having fictional people read these books doesn’t make them bad, it means they read books that existed. Trust me, I’m in the hating JKR trenches with everyone, she’s an antisemitic TERF, but of all the things in the world to be mad at, fictional characters reading a book isn’t it. Like, I have Harry Potter books on my shelf, am I supposed to burn them all and go back through my old instagram from middle school to delete all references to Hogwarts houses? No. Because multiple things can be true at once: JKR is a terrible person, and Harry Potter books at one point were highly read and enjoyed. Like, mentioning or not mentioning a book from over 20 years ago won’t impact JKR, if you want to stand up against her, stand up against her new video game and TV show— things that will directly put money in her pocket, stand up against Cursed Child if you want, donate to valued organizations that promote the things she hates. Anyway, It was changed to the Percy Jackson series instead, which is fine, but I think changing the books was an interesting choice. Like, obviously Casey doesn’t agree with the transphobic and disgusting views of JKR, neither do the characters. (CMQ probably does agree with some of the antisemitism, but that’s another story). Regardless of my own views on this change, people were upset by it and it was changed. Casey listened and made the fix. Editing to add: I’m totally cool with the change! Like I complete understand why it was done and if I were Casey I would have done the same thing. I, very badly, wanted to show how you can separate the author from the art, but I think there are some things that maybe can be judged by the author. I hope anyone I offended by misspeaking sees this and understands that I didn’t mean to reduce your pain. You are valid and correct in wanting the book removed from the book, especially when it was an easy fix. My point was solely that Casey listened and changed things, I shouldn’t have said anything else that undermined that or caused hurt, even indirectly. Again, sorry if my misspeaking hurt you, it was never my intention

The second time the book was edited, was after some people got weird about a reference to a UN ambassador: (copied from a Slate article because this isn’t in my copy) in which a supporting character who is the president of the United States complains, “Well, my UN ambassador fucked up his one job and said something idiotic about Israel, and now I have to call Netanyahu and personally apologize.”.

This is literally so nothing it’s insane. People claimed it justified the Israel/Palestine conflict and said that America would always back Israel, which like, I’m not going to explain the conflict because it’s bigger, older, and more complex than Tumblr, but no. No. No. No. Just no. This has nothing to do with that, Israel and America are Allies, and it’s no different than someone saying something about Canada. Also, nobody likes Netanyahu except Netanyahu, so this line is actually more of a funny satirical line about how the president has to go talk to this guy who’s an ally but super annoying. This is not an invite to send me anything about the I/P conflict, because I promise I know way more on this topic than you think and I’m not getting into it. Regardless, people said stuff, Casey listened, it was changed.

The movie:

After backlash about the actors ages, Casey posted a very attitude filled and almost-guilt trippy post saying that it’s rude and wrong to say that people who are 28 or 30 are old, because that’s calling Casey old, that’s saying that people who are older can’t discover their sexualities.

None of that was what people were saying, but they wanted to save themself, so they responded.

Backlash about the actors sexualities- Casey responded.

Preemptive response to people talking about Nick’s hair color- There was a response from multiple people

Response to people talking about Taylor being Mexican-American. This one was more of a “Hey! We did it!” Positive response by multiple people from the production, mainly the director who said that they purposely sought out the correct actor for Alex so people wouldn’t say anything bad and would be happy about it.

I’m sure there’s more, but I haven’t been in the know for a longggggg time.

All that to say, there’s been a ton of backlash about how Nora’s ethnicity was erased and how antisemitic their casting decision was, and the only thing they’ve done is block and remain silent. Not to forget that the production and CMQ know about the antisemitism within the RWRB fandom and they don’t give a shit.

Funny how things can be addressed when it’s literally about anything besides their Jew-erasure.

#rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #red white royal blue movie #rwrb cast #rwrb #red white and royal blue movie #casey mcquiston #red white royal blue cast #nora holleran #rachel hilson #jewish #red white royal blue #cmq #rwrb film #prince henry of wales #alex claremont diaz #nora rwrb #rwrb henry

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endollvors · 8 months ago

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Health Check! Sneak Preview

The Pitch: MCU Steve Rogers, guy who never quits, is quietly sent home after the serum "fails." It did not, in fact, Fail. Steve Rogers, 5'1' Super Soldier, 6 time recruitment office applier, makes up a new fake name and Joins the Army anyway.

Thus starts the legend of Reeve Dodgers.

Below is the entire text of the document for this AU, including some planning materials, in roughly chronological order.

Content warning: I was left unattended with the crackfic and it got a little a The Horrors of War™ in it, sorry.

Steven Grant Rogers’ Shitty Aliases

Rebecca Stoker (pornlord)

Barney Harrison (recruitment office)

Jim “Jimmy” MacKenzie (recruitment office)

Abraham Buckner (modern NY “Cult Survivor”)

Corporal Reeve Dodgers (Military injoke)

Grant Carter(SHIELD Analyst)

Clint: he’s called Dodge because he’s so small no guns can ever hit him

What’s Wrong with him :)

Asthma

Scarlet fever

Deaf in one ear

Color blind

Scoliosis

Heart murmur

Yearly Pneumonia

Anemia

December ’39 Bucky discovers that Steve Rogers, 100 pounds soaking wet, has been rationing his food in order to save money to bribe a guard at the docks and get to Europe in order to join the war effort. He moves into Steve’s apartment immediately in order to prevent his favorite flight risk from dying of his own stupidity.

Feb. ‘42 A new recruitment office has opened just outside of Brooklyn, which means it’s time for Steve to come up with a new fake name. Jim “Jimmy” MacKenzie has shoved enough newspapers into the heels of his shoes to pass as five foot one and has mastered the art of breathing shallowly enough that the rattling in his lungs could be missed, probably. He ignores the twinge in his joints as he stands straighter than his body can really support and smiles as the doctor.

Bucky’s eyes flick over Steve in an automatic pattern. Steve can almost see the checklist in his head. His legs to see if he can walk, Chest to check his breathing, cheeks for fever, knuckles for fighting. He’s not even doing bad today, except for his mood. So he’s a little irritated when Bucky falls in step with him, firmly settled on his good side, and then deliberately slows his pace.

Steve meets Howard Stark once before he gets the serum. It’s kind of a whirlwind.

The vitabed is cold against his skin, the metal leeching what little warmth he’s able to produce. He hisses through his teeth as rows of needles inject him with a burning cold that sears through his body. He presses his palms flat against the table as it tilts up and the metal encases him, close and dark even with the reinforced window he’s not really tall enough to see out of. Things must have gotten really loud, because even he can hear it with his bad ear. Someone is screaming.

The light fades and he feels weirdly floaty, like something that should be there isn’t anymore. The metal casket opens with a burst of steam and the air of the lab feels cool against his chest. He opens his eyes to a dizzying sight. He squints at the scene in front of him, there’s something different. He blinks again as the world once again fails to coalesce into something that makes sense. He stumbles over the footrest as he tries to stand and Peggy rushes forward to try and catch him. He palm flat on his chest. It’s loud in here, so loud he wonders how they can stand it with two ears. There’s a high pitched humming coming from, somewhere, his left he thinks. And there’s paper shuffling and Peggy is asking him a question, her hair is weird right now but that’s not important, he should answer. It would be rude not to answer. It’s bright in here. How does he feel? He takes a breath, the shallow kind that doesn’t rattle in his lungs and manages to stand under his own power this time. His spine feels wrong, but it doesn’t hurt, there’s none of the tingling numbness he feels occasionally either.

“Taller.” He says, grasping onto the only really familiar sensation he’s felt since the experiment started. He knows what taller feels like. He’s faked it often enough. He opens his eyes again, not really sure when they closed, and looks up past Peggy to the rest of the room. Something sharp and sick twists in his gut. Without being lost in the buzzing sensation under his skin, he can focus on the faces around him now, the tension in their shoulders, the techs studiously avoiding eye contact. This too, is familiar. They’re disappointed. Some hide it better than others, Peggy’s wrapped up in real concern, her hand still ready to support him. Dr. Erskin’s in guilt, cleaning his glasses compulsively. He watches Howard turn back to his overloaded console with a sneer that shows teeth.

“Oh, uh.” He feels small and exposed for the first time in a while, since he was handpicked to try. Since he finally managed to get as far as basic training. He knows that there’s not much left for him here, that they expected it either to work or to kill him. He runs his fingers through the stretches he uses before drawing to keep them busy.

~ i'm considering having the nazis explode the lab anyway~

He blames the way emotions choke his throat for how long it takes him to notice. He knows his pace is too fast, he knows that his bag is too heavy, he knows that he’s pushing himself past his hard learned limits. He puts his key in the lock to his front door, already resigning himself to days of recovery when he blinks and realizes that he hasn’t had to stop to rest, on benches and garbage cans and strangers' front steps. He knows how this is supposed to go. Resting for longer and longer, measuring his path from block to block in single desperate steps. Instead, his twenty minute walk home had actually taken twenty minutes. His legs don’t even hurt. He takes a deep breath and feels his chest expand smoothly, he can’t taste blood in his mouth. His back doesn’t ache under the weight of his duffle. He’s thinking so hard about that he forgets to use the trick to get his door open, too long away and too much in his brain. It screeches as it opens smoothly under his hand. Too smoothly considering how poorly hung it is, considering that Steve’s almost dislocated his shoulder trying to get it unstuck before. He closes and locks it behind him before dropping his duffle only a few steps into his shoebox apartment. He scrubs one hand harshly over his face and back through his hair before taking the final two steps to drop onto the dusty bed. He’s tired, exhausted really. It’s strange to experience without the all encompassing fatigue that makes his bones ache. He’s asleep in seconds.

He wakes up the next morning to a painless existence and the fact that his door is definitely broken.

How to Make Friends and Influence Wars

Basic training is weird the second time around. Steve thinks that maybe he’s doing it wrong, but it’s an improvement over the first time, when, to everyone except Dr. Erskin and Peggy, he was doing it wrong, and they told him so constantly. He knows he can do what they ask, he knows that in a pinch, he could do it before, if he wanted to taste blood in his mouth and pain in his spine and be a bit feverish and bedridden doing paperwork the next couple of days. This time he focuses on control, on learning how hard ‘as hard as you can’ is for regular people, on learning how to fight with too little weight to offset his brand new strength. Because being able to deadlift a jeep matters a lot less than it should when he still weighs a buck fifteen and his sparring partners can pick him up just as easily. He’s considered putting weights in his shoes.

He gets into fights, at basic. He finds himself oddly off kilter to be on the other side of an uneven fight. He learns more than during actual instruction, mostly because, no matter how accidentally, breaking the bones of his fellow soldiers is a bad way of making it to where there are people who deserve their to have bones broken. He ends up settling on a surprisingly underhanded method of sort of tripping them, either onto the ground or his fist. It puts a kind of limit on the force he exerts.

Dear Miss Peggy,

It’s been a couple weeks since I last saw you, hope you’re doing well and keeping the boys on their toes. I’m thrilled to announce that after eight applications I’ve been accepted into the army for the second time. By the time you receive this, Private Reeve Dodgers will have already shipped out to put those bullies back in their place.

Your friend, Steve Rogers.

P.S. Find me, finally fighting fit in the 74th infantry regiment. Hope to receive your letter.

~ Horrors of War™ interlude~

There’s not a lot for him to do, his first couple weeks on the front. His above average assessments can only do so much in the face of his short stature and weedy build. Personally, he thinks that somebody that everyone believes couldn’t possibly be in the army is probably pretty suited to infiltration training. He’s put on ambulance duty, instead. It’s not as exciting as he’d hoped, but he enjoys it. It feels like helping. The girls at the nurse’s station are smart and no nonsense and they usually listen to him when he says he can do more, even if the first time they’re clearly trying to punish him for overpromising. He feels a smile spread across his face the first time he hears Sue call for Dodgers across the tent because she needs him to do heavy lifting. It’s more immediate than anything he could be doing with an M1911. The M1911 still feels heavy on his hip though. He stands in the medical tent and flexes his hands as he watches another ambulance full of stretchers get unloaded. He’s fast and strong and sturdy in a way that the men he helps the girls care for aren’t, and he knows it. It itches in the same way that made him go to the recruitment office eight times.

Sue catches him halfway through lacing up his boots, even though it's the middle of the night. He ties a knot and straightens up. She stops tapping her foot and sighs.

“Dodgers.”

“Ma’am.” Steve doesn’t fidget under her gaze. “Thought you’d be asleep.”

“Medical doesn’t sleep, Dodgers.” He nods, and she uncrosses her arms to grab his elbow. He follows as she drags him back to the main tent. “You want to be a hero? Take your gun and go kill some nazis?”

“Ma’am.” He says again. She laughs, and it’s tired. The gray in her hair catches in the dim lights of the ward. They come to a halt in front of the curtain to the intensive ward.

“Ok, Dodgers, here we go.” Her fingers tighten on his sleeve. They stop in front of a bed that’s sectioned off to protect burns. Steve can hear his breath rasp from where they’re standing at the foot of the bed. He doesn’t know if Sue can. “This is Sargent George Richards. He’s a hero. He saved the rest of his squad when their shelter was firebombed.”

She leads him to another bed. The shape under the blanket is missing pieces. There are dried tear tracks on his cheeks. “This is Captain Dume. He’s a hero. He and his men got cut off behind enemy lines and he brought almost forty of them back with him.”

The last bed in the ward has a man in it that’s even younger and thinner than Steve is. He’s twisted in his bed to keep pressure off his wounds. The pattern reads shrapnel. Most of his face is covered in bandages. Sue lets go of his arm and smooths her skirt. “This is Private Jones. He’s a hero.”

Jones twitches as Steve looks at him, takes a sharp gasp and shudders all over. It’s a nightmare, probably. “Who did he save?” Steve whispers, unwilling to break the silence of the ward. Sue looks at him, looks right through him.

“Nobody.”

Steve takes off his boots and goes back to bed. He lasts another week before he walks out of camp at one in the afternoon. He comes back a week later with eight men and a mostly healed knife wound in his side. He tells everyone but the nurses that he got lost. Everyone but the nurses believe him.

~Horrors interlude ends~

Private Reeve Dodgers, as is becoming true to form, has once again disappeared while on mission. Godspeed.

Bucky has lost track of time, the ceiling is fading in and out of focus and he’s pretty sure that he’s started hallucinating since the last scientists left, some, days? hours? ago. For example, He can hear Stevie talking to him, Stevie’s at home in Brooklyn. He shouldn’t be here, it’s dangerous. He opens his mouth to tell the Steve hallucination that, and only manages a hoarse creaking noise.

His head turns with what feels like monumental effort and he sees a familiar face juxtaposed with a short military haircut and baggy green fatigues. His eyelids flicker and he decides to listen to what Stevie is telling him instead. “Those nazi bastards are too dead to hurt you anymore, Bucky.” His split lip starts bleeding again when he cracks a wobbly smile. Steve always did know what to say. He feels the steel bands bolting him to a table release to the familiar sound of Steve’s pleased “Yes!”

He leans forward with as much of his strength as he can muster and promptly collapses against his own knees. He blinks back into awareness to the sensation of being carried. Yes, he’s being carried, and Steve is holding him like he doesn’t weigh anything. He knew he was hallucinating. He tunes back into the one sided conversation.

“Stevie,” He says to the ground as it passes by, and coughs. “I think I’ve been drugged.”

“Really?” His hallucination says, apparently not concerned with Bucky calling him by the wrong name. “Why do you say that?” It does sound just like Steve.

“You’re here.”

“Buck, I am here. Joined the Army and everything.”

Bucky nods and feels his whole skull try to rattle apart around him. “Ok, punk.” He says and loses consciousness before his hallucination can reply.

Phillips turns to Peggy and says, with a carefully even tone, “I know that man.”

Peggy brushes an imaginary stray hair out of her face and says, tone light. “Do you?”

“Don’t.” He says through gritted teeth, his jaw so tight it had to hurt. “You know. I saw your face, you weren’t surprised.”

Bucky’s spoon stops halfway to his mouth, the mess tent gruel threatening to slop back onto his tray. He fixes Steve with a look of deep disappointment. “Reeve Dodgers?”

Steve smiles back, unrepentant, and tugs his tags out from the collar of his shirt. Bucky puts his spoon all the way down and hooks his fingers in the chain to haul Steve halfway over the table and look himself. He groans.

“Reeve Dodgers.” He says again while Steve resettles. He picks the spoon back up and some porridge drips off it into his peas as he points at Steve. “That, is the worst one yet.”

“It worked.” Steve says, and watches Bucky try and fail to keep a straight face as that fact sinks in.

Under direct orders from Captain Reeve Dodgers.

Steve has been awake for several minutes longer than anyone realizes. Eyes closed and breathing steady while he listens to a ballgame for the second time. The room is quiet, outside of that, there’s no street noise that he can hear. The announcer takes a familiar 5 second silence before he continues his chatter. It hits him then, that he can’t smell cigarettes. He opens his eyes to gentle yellow light and rolls his head on the pillow while he tries to take in the room. It’s too clean, is one thing he notices immediately. There’s no life in the place, no ashtrays, nothing hung on the hooks, no forgotten coffee cups or scattered notes. The walls are freshly painted. There’s no scuffs on the floor, or grime built up in the corners of the room. His fingers tighten in his pristine sheets and he turns his head to the door to meet the heels clicking down the hallway.

The nurse comes into the room with a wide smile and too little urgency. Every nurse Steve has ever met either walks with a brisk efficiency that could cow generals or with the exhausted slump of too long hours. It’s the afternoon, or it’s supposed to be, and her uniform is still crisp. His eyes go to the top corner of her uniform pocket, looking for the reinforcement that’s always sewn there to help it handle the extra weight frontline medicine requires. He smiles at her and her too elaborate for daily work hair.

“Hello, Ma’am.” He rasps around a dry throat and smiles, bright and a little confused. “Where,” he trails off with a slow blink. “‘M I stateside?” he asks and he doesn’t bother to smooth out the brooklyn accent. He watches her face through carefully half lidded eyes for the tells he knows will be there and finds them. He already knows she’s lying to him.

The not-nurse hurries forward when he wavers a bit trying to sit up with too stiff muscles. Hes tired, more tired than he’d thought he was while lying in bed pretending to be unconscious, but he knows tired, he’s worked through tired worse than this. She catches his shoulder with manicured fingernails and he nods his thanks as she helps him slowly scoot back to lean against the headboard.

“There we go, Corporal.” She says, and the accent’s subtle in a way most people can't fake and American without a hint of anything else in there like his has, after almost two years in Europe with necessity upgrading his understanding of German from conversational to fluent. It occurs to him for the first time since he woke up from what he’s pretty sure was dying, that he might actually be in the United States.

New York is wrong. But it’s a better kind of wrong than the friendly cream colored room he woke up in. It’s real, and it is still New York. He survived six weeks alone in occupied France while only knowing how to say ‘I’m with the French Resistance’ and some extremely specific conversational German. It was the first time he’d ever been accidentally recorded as killed in action and when he learned that when he gets shot he has to get the bullets out immediately. All in all, an interesting trip. He can handle New York in– he squints, too quickly to be noticed, at an abandoned newspaper on a bistro table as he passes by –apparently the new millennium. He tucks his hands into the pockets of his slacks, picks a direction, and walks without urgency. Eventually, he finds a building he recognizes. He tucks his hands into his pockets, turns at the next corner, and walks a brisk couple miles to the library.

He ducks into the stacks the instant he arrives, and tries to remember his dewey decimals enough to not have to ask for help. He manages, though he’s deeply suspicious that some of them have changed since the last time he was in a library. He collects what he expects is an eclectic pile. He collects a few books on current events, an entertainment magazine, and a book on technology that, based on the size of the text and density of its pictures, is probably intended for children. He refuses to be embarrassed, if anyone deserves introductory material it’s him. He also, after his book on the state of the world names too many countries he’s never heard of, gets up and grabs an atlas.

He pretends to startle when the librarian approaches his table because he probably would have been engrossed in his book if he couldn’t hear her conversation with the woman at the circulation desk. His head snaps up and his eyes go to her hands before her face. He lets how unsteady he really feels slip through his wobbly smile in a way he didn’t at the facility he woke up in.

“Hello ma’am?” He looks at the page number for appearances’ sake and closes his children’s encyclopedia of technology. Her expression is briefly calculating before it smooths out and she asks the question that she’s been workshopping with the rest of the staff all morning.

“Hi honey, you finding everything you need?” Her smile is neutral and encouraging and he’d compliment her on it if he hadn’t decided to play into her assumptions. “Us Librarians are here to help.”

He can’t blush on command anymore, so he averts his eyes and lets out a slow deliberate breath through his mouth. “I, thank you.” he says and tugs a little at the collar of his shirt, aware after his jog through the city that it’s obviously old fashioned. “I’m, new here?” He makes it a question to avoid the way the truth is exactly opposite, smoothing out his accent into the broad neutral one he learned during the war. “And I don’t, really,” he trails off and shrugs helplessly at the bank of computers off to his left. He’d thought they were new study corrals, at first and then made an abrupt retreat once he saw it was set up like some kind of telegraph office. According to the encyclopedia, he’s kind of right.

The librarian’s face softens, “That’s exactly what I'm here for. I’m Emma.”

“Abe, uh, Abraham Buckner.” Steve says and starts to gather his books into a pile. Out of the corner of his eye he watches her watch him.

“Biblical.” She says.

“Yeah, it’s-” he starts, and almost says Jewish before he remembers that he’s supposed to be escaping a cult. “Catholic, mostly.” The verbal stumble apparently looks natural enough because the concern is back on Emma’s face as she hands him his last book.

Fury stops in the doorway to his own office at the sight of a stranger sitting in his visiting chair, the top of his blond hair and enormous ears peeking out over the back of the seat. The boy turns at his entrance and he catches a glimpse of blue eyes. “Hello sir!” It’s that kid, the one they found in the ice. Corporal whomever from World War II. The one who somehow managed to rabbit out of a secure facility and disappear. “That was a lousy fake 1943, I was at that ball game.”

“You don’t say.” He drawls, deciding to ignore the elephant in the room. “We worked with what we had.” He sits at his desk and focuses on the human museum exhibit that’s been missing the last three weeks.

“So I gather I’ve been, out of action, for a while.” The kid says with half a smile, apparently to break the tension. It doesn’t work, but he almost respects it.

“Longer than anyone expected, I’ve got some questions I’d be pleased if you could answer for me.”

The kid’s face scrunches up with a familiar distaste.

“What’s your name, Corporal?” The kid blinks at him, surprised for apparently the first time since getting defrosted.

“Carter.” He says finally. “Grant Carter. I’m uh,” he pauses and flashes a sheepish smile. “Pleased to meet you?” Well, that would explain some things. He narrows his eye at the kid.

“Any relation to a Margaret Carter?” A question and a test all in one.

“You mean Peggy?” The kid asks, leaning forward for a smile, his hair flopping over his forehead.

Agent Grant is pretty sure he pissed off Director Fury somehow. He doesn’t remember doing it, in fact, he’s only spoken to the man a couple of times, but Carter feels like a punishment for something. He showed up out of nowhere, said Fury hired him directly, and has been making his life complicated since. Grant Carter is a bizarre little mystery. This is not an opinion his other coworkers share for the simple reason that they’re not around him that often. Derek has to work with him directly, and thus gets a front row seat to the blue eyed boy wonder’s many idiosyncrasies. It wouldn’t be nearly as bad if the kid weren’t genuinely fantastic at his job, and also the at least two other jobs he’s invented in the footnotes and margins of his analysis, or if the two of them didn’t work well together. They’re referred to as a unit now, which bodes poorly for his chances to escape. They’re The Grants. He is, much to his chagrin, Old Grant, which everyone insists is because he was here first, and not because, outside of his jawline, New Grant looks like he should get carded at movie theaters.

The thing is, that there’s something wrong with Carter. None of his pieces fit together. When they’re not assembling reports that, despite being the same length as everyone else’s, contain vastly more information, he’s drawing what looks like comics at his desk and trying to make the oddest small talk that Grant’s ever heard outside of Strike Team Delta debriefs. He should just write Carter off as a liar, considering how often his stories seem to directly contradict each other, but this is SHIELD, and Carter was hired by the Director personally. So he just has to put up with it when he drops really alarming anecdotes into normal conversation. Field agent anecdotes. Things that pint sized twenty somethings who say they had asthma as a kid should not have experienced, let alone survived.

Two weeks into his job as Grant Carter, SHIELD Analyst, Steve is in the vents. He doesn’t technically have to be in the vents, but they’re surprisingly clean and he’s finished his assignments early enough to work on his extracurriculars. He’s in the process of investigating a new path to The R&D labs when he hears something. He goes entirely still, before turning his head to angle his good ear toward the sound, not that he has a bad ear anymore, but old habits die hard. There’s definitely a scuffling sound coming from the next junction. He assesses his options. He probably won’t be able to get away without alerting whoever else is in the ductwork with him. But he’s strong, and his size tends to give him the advantage in close quarters like this. So he sits and waits for what is definitely not a raccoon to turn the corner.

A head of shaggy blond hair appears around the corner, purple hearing aids hooked around his ears. The vent under his chin casts thin stripes of light across his face and the underside of his jaw. The tension in Steve’s shoulders relaxes when he recognizes the guy even as he freezes the same way Steve did when he realizes he’s not alone. Specialist Clint Barton turns to stare at Steve. There’s a few moments of what would be silence if the break room they’re situated above had been empty. Instead there’s the subtly surreal background noise of a man humming some 90s pop song people always expect Steve to recognize while he goes through the ritual of fixing himself coffee. It almost breaks the tension. Clint’s as allowed here as Steve is, by which he means not at all, but it’s not a matter of national security, so he smiles and presses a finger to his lips. The thud when Clint’s head hits his forearms and his shoulders start shaking with repressed laughter is probably quiet enough that other people couldn’t even notice it. He’s had to learn that all over again, what’s normal to hear, some funhouse mirror of when he lost his hearing in the first place. He props his chin on his hand and waits for Hawkeye to finish. Eventually he picks his head back up, gives a sloppy wave and shuffles through the intersection towards whatever his destination is. Administration was that way. Steve thinks through the building layout while he waits for Barton’s feet to clear the path. The guy is genuinely enormous. Steve has no idea how he fits his shoulders through here.

He meets Hawkeye twice more before they ever talk. Dubiously legal vent travel just doesn’t provide many opportunities for it. The closest they’ve gotten is Steve looking up the modern ASL sign for “criminal” and the two of them almost blowing their cover when he used it to tell him to go ahead. He had somehow failed to consider that they might see each other outside of dusty metal tubes. He puts his lunch tray down on the cafeteria table without looking and continues to make bewildered eye contact with Barton from across the room. Hawkeye changes his path and beelines to his table. Steve blinks for a second before just sitting down and poking at his potato hash. Hawkeye’s tray clatters in front of his eyes and a second later the man himself is sitting cross legged and grinning on the opposite side of the table.

“So,” he says, and gestures with his spork, “Agent or Analyst?” Steve swallows his bite and smiles his ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ smile. He holds his hand out to shake.

“Agent Reeve Dodgers, at your service.” Barton’s holding his hand in a firm grasp and opening his mouth to say something else when his hand spasms in Steve's grip and he starts wheezing.

“Oh my god, that's amazing.” He says, to Steve’s confusion. “Reeve Dodgers. I’m gonna use that.”

“What?”

“Your name can’t actually be Reeve Dodgers, right?” Hawkeye says, and finally releases his hand. It isn’t, but he has no idea what would make Barton react like that.

“It is when I’m in the vents.”

Barton makes a noise like a wet shoe on tile and continues to shake with laughter. His fingers curl over his smiling mouth as he rests his elbow on the table and leans into it.

“What’s so funny?”

“You don’t know? You have to know. Captain Reeve Dodgers?”

“I-” Steve starts, It can’t actually be about him, he was never technically promoted past corporal and surely if SHIELD knows who he is they wouldn't let him be Grant Carter instead. “Captain?”

“He’s not a real guy. It’s this old military thing, ‘Under direct orders from Captain Reeve Dodgers?’”

“From the forties?” he says, somewhat strangled.

“Yeah! So you do know.”

“I’m familiar with the name.” He says helplessly, and takes a bite of his food.

“It’s when a guy goes rogue but he nails it. Crazy odds, excellent results. Save the base stuff.” Barton picks up his sandwich and shredded lettuce falls out of the bottom as he gestures with it. “They don't want to court martial him for going against orders. So they say he got orders, and then everyone pretends to believe him.”

Steve blushes from the tips of his ears down to his neck. He takes another bite.

“Hey, Pintsize. How was the espionage?” Steve barely pauses before he wiggles the rest of the way out of the vent. He brushes off his pants before he glances up at the man who caught him. Tony Stark is leaned up against the battered table out of the line of sight from where he crawled out.

“Hey, Stark.” He says, and checks how gray the dust has made his palms before he can track that into his hair. The answer is very, and he grimaces. “Can I get you a coffee?”

“You have to know I’m harder to bribe than that, kiddo.” Stark says with a disparaging snort at the pile of single use pods next to the machine. “I’m a billionaire.” His eyes go back to his tablet though his focus never wavers from Steve.

“Bribe?” Steve glances up from where he’s washing his hands in the tiny kitchenette sink. Through a well ingrained habit, he scrubs briskly and efficiently up to his elbows. “Why would I try to bribe you? It's manners.” He dries his hands and turns to the cupboard for the mugs.

“Is it also manners to break into the R&D labs?”

“No, that’s a hobby.” Steve says and flashes a smile over his shoulder. He sets the machine, then spins and hops onto the counter next to it. Just to be an asshole, he pulls the newest prototype he liberated from the labs out of his pocket and starts fiddling with it.

Stark’s head tilts a full thirty degrees.

“Is, are you confessing right now?” Stark asks and his eyebrows furrow over his sunglasses. “Because usually it’s harder than this.” One of his hands snaps up to gesture at where Steve is perched on the counter with a shaking emphasis on the prototype. “There’s a whole process to this, you know?”

“Oh?” Steve says encouragingly, and reaches out with his free hand to grab his coffee. Stark continues on like he hadn’t heard him.

“You deny it, maybe pretend to get angry. I pull out the security footage, read out part of your personnel file,” He flashes the tablet screen, paused on a view of Steve in the east R&D lab. “You cry or threaten me or something.”

Steve looks at Stark for a moment. “Do you, want me to threaten you?”

“Yes! No. Don’t tell Pepper I said that.” He points sharply at Steve. Steve takes a sip of his coffee.

“Are you threatening me?” He asks, entirely unthreatened. “Because, I don’t think this is SHIELD protocol.” He takes another sip of coffee while Stark vibrates in place.

“I don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense. You don't make sense! You put everything back. With notes. Good notes, even. for an analyst.”

Steve nods.

“You don’t steal from me though.” Stark says, accusatorily, angry for the first time the whole conversation. “Is Starktech not good enough for you?” Stark waves the tablet in his off hand with a sharp nonchalance that would make Steve worry if he didn’t know that Starktech tablets aren’t actually as fragile as all that glass makes them look. Steve puts down his coffee and pauses a moment to gather his thoughts.

“You haven’t pissed me off yet.”

“What?” Stark says, snapped out of the anger as quickly as he fell into it, and minimizes the security footage. He taps out a note in some incomprehensible shorthand even as he cocks his head at Steve in question. “I piss everyone off, it’s one of my many charming qualities, ask Fury, ask anybody.”

“Fitzsimmons’ stuff never leaves the lab. If Natasha didn’t exist I think Clint would be in platonic love with them.” He juggles the prototype sub sonic grenade between his hands. His ankles bounce lightly off the cabinet doors.

“I steal from Granger the most because he's an asshole who does shit work with unintuitive design.” Stark nods, sharply, and opens his mouth for what would almost certainly be a pretty amusing rant about Granger’s many various deficiencies. Steve smiles at him before continuing. He likes this Stark far more than Howard.

“Nothing makes him madder than a polite little post it note on the gizmo he’s just started the loss paperwork on. Admin thinks he’s embezzling.”

Stark starts to laugh like it’s been surprised out of him.

“So Granger deserves it, and your dad was a rat bastard. But I don’t know you, Tony.” He says, and leans back against the wall. “You seem nice.”

“Me? Nice?” Stark seems to be stuck somewhere between theatrically offended and genuinely bewildered. Steve shrugs.

“Yeah, you know the names of the whole R&D department and design almost all of the good armor and recon tech.” Something complicated and vulnerable flashes across Stark’s face for a moment. Before being replaced with a practiced smirk that would look more at home on Howard’s face.

“You’re also,” Steve starts, and leans forward into the edge of Stark’s space, dropping his voice into a conspiratorial tone, “not going to snitch.”

“You’re a weird kid, Carter.”

“You’re probably the only person in existence to sneak expensive equipment into a lab. We’re both weird.” He hops off the counter to go back to his job and Stark’s face snaps back to normal.

“Hold it, pipsqueak. I hacked SHIELD for this.” He says, and goes back to his tablet. “I mean, it’s not hard but-” he cuts himself off and flicks his wrist as if to dismiss something that's not actually there. “No, what I want to know is why your recruitment file is classified. Your birthdate is sealed, which I've literally never seen, by the way, and you’re talking like you knew my dad.”

“I did know your dad.” Steve says, because it's true. “He was an asshole.”

“You look like you escaped a daycare. You can’t be older than 30.”

“Yeah, and I knew your dad.” Stark looks like he’s winding up to scream, then he takes a breath that hisses through his teeth.

“He died in 1991.” He says, flat and accusing.

“I wasn’t there for that part.” Steve takes another sip of coffee.

Pepper’s heels clack on the tile before coming to an abrupt halt in front of Steve and, by extension, Tony. On account of the fact that Steve is all but carrying him.

“Hiya Pep!” Tony says cheerily even as he continues to flop bonelessly over Steve’s head and shoulders. Tony continuing to take shameless advantage of being six inches taller than him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Potts. I’m Grant Carter.” Steve says, as polite as he can manage with Tony’s elbow mussing his hair into his eyes.

Pepper’s eyes snap to him and narrow in calculation. “Tony.” She says, a very particular note in her voice, one that Tony, at least, seems to recognize immediately, if the way his head snaps up is any indication.

“No!” The arm on top of Steve’s head repositions into an incredulous point. “No, Pep, he isn’t.” Pepper gestures at the two of them with the stack of paperwork in her hands and Tony makes a noise in his throat. “I know what you’re thinking, and frankly I’m appalled. He’s a consultant. I stole him.” Tony smiles. From what Steve can tell at this angle it’s one of his better ones, if a bit manic. “As if I would stoop so low-” and there’s the short joke, Steve shrugs his shoulders and Tony’s free arm swings wildly as he tips off balance before Steve rights him.

“I’d apologize for him, ma’am. But I think you might know him better than me.” Pepper’s eyes focus back on Steve and she smiles.

“Hello, Mr. Carter, what’d you do to get saddled with this idiot?” There’s a whine from Tony. Both of them ignore it.

“Stole from him.” Steve smiles broadly.

“He disrupted his inner ear all on his own”

Steve’s deskmate is ignoring him again, he’d thought they were getting along. He refills his water bottle at the station in the office hallway and tries to think of anything he’s done that would warrant it. It’s not a work issue, he’s pretty sure, because all of their evaluations have been almost glowing. He gets his part of the work done quickly, he doesn’t make that much noise when he’s in their shared office working on his other job, and he tries to get the dust off when he gets out of the vents. He’s jarred from the thought when Rosa tries to draw him into a conversation about a television show he’s never heard of. He extricates himself in his favorite way, by telling the absolute truth with a smile.

“You know me, Rosa. I’m a 90 year old man.” She laughs and waves him off. He flips his water bottle in his hand with a showy toss and turns back to his office. Dirch is standing in his direct path and glaring. Steve winces.

“Hey Derek,” Rosa calls, “Always good to see The Grants together.” His attention snaps to her for a moment and an insincere, closed mouthed smile before returning to Steve.

“Ok, I don’t get it.” Clint says conversationally from where he’s hung himself upside down from a support beam in the ceiling.

“Get what?” Steve simulsigns along with his words from his place on the other side of the hanger.

“You were in World War 2, Dodge. Why do you ‘mostly’ know Canadian French?” Clint makes air quotes before he nocks his next arrow. He draws and fires all in one motion, and it strikes the bullseye next to Steve’s head.

Steve considers how to answer the question, then considers whether he knows enough ASL to actually say his answer. Instead he says, “You’re from Iowa,” He signs ‘Corn’ instead of just finger spelling the name. “Why do you speak Russian?” He catches Clint’s eye and makes a point to look genuinely curious. Clint laughs loud enough for it to echo and fires another arrow at his head.

#my writing #reeve dodgers

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