#guys ive only read the first five chapters of this

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)

a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33

--

The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.

It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach. 

It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.

“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.

Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”

Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.

“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.

Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.

“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”

You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.

“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”

Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her. 

Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”

You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.

Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”

You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?” 

Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”

You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.

“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.

Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”

You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.

“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”

You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.” 

Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”

Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.

The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.

“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.

“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”

You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”

He smiles at you.

“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”

You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.

“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long. 

“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.

It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.

“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”

You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”

He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”

You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore. 

A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?

“Yeah, show me.”

Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.

“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.

He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”

“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”

“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”

He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.

A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.

He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”

He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.

“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.

He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”

You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”

“LCD.”

“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”

“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”

He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.

He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.

“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”

“I did? Didn’t even notice.”

You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you. 

“Do you mind it?” he asks.

“No, not really.”

“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”

“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”

He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.

“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights. 

Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”

“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.

You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.

“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.

He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”

Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.” 

“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you. 

You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.

But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give. 

“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.

He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”

“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”

He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”

You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”

“Feelings about what?”

You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.

He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”

“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.

“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”

You sigh.

“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”

“That’s pathetic as hell.”

“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.

You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.

“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”

The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”

He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”

Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”

“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”

Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.

“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.

You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.

“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.

“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”

You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”

“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”

“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”

Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”

It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes. 

“No.”

He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.

“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.

“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.

“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong. 

He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”

You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.

You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”

He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.” 

“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.

“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”

—

“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”

“I beg your finest pardon?”

You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.

Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”

“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth. 

“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.

“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”

Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.

“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.

“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.

“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”

“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”

Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”

“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.

You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.

“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.

You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.

“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.

“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”

“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”

You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.

—

“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck. 

“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”

You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field. 

“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”

Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”

Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.

It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.

“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.

“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.

“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”

You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”

He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”

“D-Distraction?”

“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”

Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.

“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”

You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.

Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”

You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed. 

“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead. 

“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”

There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.

You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.

“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.

“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.

You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.

“Canon? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.

“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too. 

“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!” 

“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.

You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.

“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.

What the fuck?

Where are you?

Who are you?

Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.

There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.

Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.

“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”

Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.

“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”

You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.

The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.

“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before. 

“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.

“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.

You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”

“You could have a concussion.”

“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”

He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”

“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”

He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.

He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air

“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”

He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.

“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.

“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.

You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck. 

You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”

“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”

You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.

“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.

“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.

“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.

“You got hit by a soccer ball.”

“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.

“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.

“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.” 

He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”

“So glad to be in such good hands right now.” 

He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.

“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”

“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.

His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.

“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”

He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”

You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Has he tried anything funny with you?” 

You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”

“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”

“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”

His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.

Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.

You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.

Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.

“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”

His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.

“What the fuck was that—”

“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”

“I—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”

He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.

“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.

His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”

He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.

You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess. 

He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”

Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.

—

2:34pm kaito (work): yo

2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera

2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up

2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?

2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that. 

2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one

2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry

2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one

2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that

2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really

2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement

2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field

2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?

You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.

“Oh, hi,” you say.

“Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.

“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”

You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”

“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”

You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”

“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”

“We?” you ask.

“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”

Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”

Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”

Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”

“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”

You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair. 

“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.

“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.

You purse your lips together.

“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”

You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.

“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”

“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.

“Alright cool, will do.” 

You say bye, and then he hangs up.

A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.

Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.

“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.

“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”

He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”

You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”

“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.” 

“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”

Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.” 

You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.

“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.

“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”

“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”

He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”

Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”

Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.

“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”

Your eyes widen as you shake his hand.  “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”

Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”

“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”

You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.

You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.

You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry. 

Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.

Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.

“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.

“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”

Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”

Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.

“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what?” you prod.

“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”

“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”

You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.

Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”

“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”

“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”

“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—” 

“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.

You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.

Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.

“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”

You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.

“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.

“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.

“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.

“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”

His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”

You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?

“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.

“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”

“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”

“It sounds shady as fuck.”

“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.

“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”

His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”

Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does. 

“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.

He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”

You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.

He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”

“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”

He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”

“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”

His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.” 

His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.

“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done. 

He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.

His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”

“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”

He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”

His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you. 

Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.

“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”

You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”

Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”

Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”

Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.

Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”

“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.

“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.

A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look. 

“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”

Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”

Something had been bothering you since you came here. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”

Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”

Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”

You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing. 

“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.

“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”

Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.

“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.

“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”

“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”

“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.

“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.

“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness. 

Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”

“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.

“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”

“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”

Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing. 

“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.

Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”

“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.

“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.

“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”

“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”

Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused. 

Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”

You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging. 

There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.

Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.

You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.

“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”

Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”

“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”

Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist. 

You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”

Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”

You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.

When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.

“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”

You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.

Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are scrutinizing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.

You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.

“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”

“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”

You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.

But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.

Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.

Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”

Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.

“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.

“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”

You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.  

“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”

You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.

“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”

You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along. 

His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”

Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.

You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”

He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But I do.”

There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.

You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.

He just holds you closer. “I know.”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.

He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”

“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.

“I know.”

--

a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!

➸ take me to chapter ten!

➸ wrote some kickoff headcanons here

--

taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog

(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)

[restlesspazzi04]

Love Island: A Pazzi Fic

Part 1: Day 3

Genre: I've somehow managed to think up a forbidden love/enemies to lovers/reformed player/slow burn love island fic all together so imma pat myself on the back bc ive been getting so many asks for all five

A/N:

This is just the introduction chapter to a series that will be very loosely updated as it's more of a fun project i'm working on but hope you guys enjoy because this is just me riding off the love island hyperfixation im in lol

Extra Note: this is will be on tumblr only mainly bc this series will be trash and purely for my self entertainment so idc as much. slow falling will remain on ao3 only :)

ik some people have difficulty reading on tumblr tho so if i get enough asks i will put this on ao3 if its easier

word count: 3.2k (this will fluctuate depending on my mood)

Format Clarification:

When the contestant name is in front of the text, that means it's a cutaway and not actually said in the villa!

anything in italics is to be read in Iain Stirling voice please i love him

-

Day 3:

It's day 3 and it's heating up in the villa! Will the current couples pass the test of temptation as two new bombshells enter for the ultimate challenge? Find out here on Love Island USA: WLW Sports Edition! 

When Paige first got the call that she was nominated for Love Island, she knew who put her name in the sea of women’s athletes picked for the show. With her social media agents wanting to get the “player” allegations away from her image to make herself more marketable, she was a shoo-in for the show. 

Paige was confident in her coupling. Ellie, the Olympic swimmer from Australia, was up her ally of girls: hot, brunette, and gay. They had been going strong for the first three days in the villa, with Ellie picking Paige on Day 1 coupling. In the mess of drama the other couples were whirlwind into, they had remained together as a voice of reason. 

“I’m just not really feeling her I don’t know,” Kate groans, slapping the ping pong ball back to Paige. 

“Bro it’s been three days and you’re already tired of your match? Couldn’t be me.” Paige responds, returning the ball. 

Kate and Paige being the only WNBA athletes in the villa naturally stuck together as close friends, being each other's confidants on Love Island. They had the common ground of basketball solidifying their sisterhood and frequently took each other's advice.

“It’s not that. I just feel like there’s no spark. Sarah is great and all, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my villa time with her.”

“Why don’t you explore your options tonight if we recouple? That’ll start some crazy drama.” Paige laughs mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at an unamused Kate Martin. 

“All the other couples are pretty locked in and I don’t wanna be a homewrecker… plus they’re probably bringing in new bombshells today if I got the formula right. Hopefully, they’re my type because I don’t think it’s working out for me and Sarah. ” 

“New bombshells? I mean none of them better be basketball players. That’s Ellie’s type to a T. It was hard enough fighting against you.” Paige jokes, slightly concerned at the idea of new people. It wasn’t like she and Ellie were completely locked in, but Paige knew she’d be at risk of getting kicked off the show if any of the new bombshells coupled up with Ellie.

“Ellie is not my type. She’s too nice. I need some passion in my girl." 

“I like nice. She’s sweet and brings me orange juice in the morning.” Paige says, dropping her paddle when Kate sends the ball flying past her head, "Drama stresses me out. That's why Ellie is perfect for me."

“Nah, I like a little fight. It’s hot when a girl is mad at you… you should know better than me ‘Miss Star Point Guard on the Golden State Valkyries’. Aren’t women always fighting over you?” 

“I already told you I’m not a player in the real world or the villa. Why does no one on the island believe me?” Paige exclaims, plopping down on the way-to-colorful couch in the Villa playroom. 

“I don’t know… maybe you’re insane eye contact with everyone you meet?” Kate says sarcastically, taking her seat next to Paige. 

“Blame my parents! They’re the ones who told me that eye contact is respectful." Paige argues before adding, "I can’t help I got beautiful eyes.” 

“Shut u-"

Kate is effectively cut off when KK Harvey starts screaming "I GOT A TEXT" throughout the entire villa, everyone making their way to the poolside where she was sitting.

"Islanders please gather at the fire pit for a surprise! #WatchOutCouples #Bout to drop a bomb!" KK reads loudly, the whole villa shouting in response.

"Welp, I guess this is your moment to find a new girl." Paige sighs, making her way over to the fire pit.

"Not yours?"

"Nope, I'm pretty happy with Ellie."

"You sure about that? Not even keeping an open eye?" Kate teased, ragging on Paige's loyalty.

"I'm definitely not re-coupling with some newcomer." Paige asserts firmly. 

"If you say so." 

-

As the Islanders all flock to the firepit, taking their seats next to their partners, they await for further instruction. 

“I GOT A TEXT!” Kate hoots out as the other islanders get excited, “It says ‘Get ready as your two new bombshells join you guys in the villa! #AreYouReady?’”

Paige looks over at Ellie, who’s already gripping tighter on Paige’s arm at the news of Bombshells. 

“I hope they’re not your type,” Ellie whispers shyly into Paige’s ear. It was a cute gesture, one that should’ve made Paige blush. Paige just gives her a reassuring squeeze on the arm, leaning in to whisper back. 

“I already got a beautiful girl, don’t worr-”

Paige is interrupted as shouting rings through the villa as two new girls make their way into the villa. 

“Bro, can you see her?” Kate says, pulling Paige up immediately as two figures appear in the distance. 

“Not with you jumping on my shoulders.” Paige retorts back, leaning up to get a better look, “They’re tall.”  

“Wait, I think I recognize one of them,” Kate says with her eyes squinted

Kate: You guys are ruthless in bringing my exact type. Fuck, I want to stay loyal to Sarah but I do still want to keep my options open, you know?

Paige has to brace herself for this entrance. She recognized the two bombshells immediately as they got closer. The WNBA world was small and both of these contestants were prominent figures in the league. Azzi Fudd and Nika Muhl, the star guards for the LA Sparks would be joining the girls on the island. 

“No way they brought in more girls from the league!” Kate whispers into Paige’s ear. 

“Did they run out of gays for other sports? Or is the league just super gay?” Paige responds in a nervous whisper. Ellie had literally told Paige on the first day that her type was basketball girls and it was one of the main reasons why Ellie had picked her. It was not to Paige’s advantage to have multiple girls chasing after her girl. 

“Wait, I know both of them. We worked out together at Kelsey Plum’s dawg class for a few days. She’s super hot not gonna lie.” Kate whispered lowly so Sarah wouldn’t hear. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve met them a few times. Did you know that they both were gonna come to UCONN but chose UCLA last minute?” Paige droned on, her eyes oddly trained on Azzi as they finally reached the fire pit. It suddenly dawned on Paige that she had never seen the younger girl in a bikini and it set an uncomfortable fire ablaze in her stomach. 

Azzi: Hi, my name is Azzi Fudd and I’m a 5’ 11” shooting guard for the Sparks. I wanted to come to Love Island to find my future wife and make a strong connection with someone. I have been in a lot of relationships and they don’t seem to go well for me, so I hope I find my match here!

Nika: I’m Nika Muhl and I’m a 6’ foo-

Azzi: 5’ 10” don’t lie Nika

Nika: Don’t cut me off! Anyway, I’m a point guard for the LA Sparks and I wanted to come to Love Island to finally find my love match and establish a strong connection. I’m super excited to meet the Islanders. 

Another text sound rings through the air, coming from Azzi’s hand. 

“Bombshell’s Azzi and Nika, Pick two people to go on dates with tomorrow before bed tonight. Have fun getting to know everyone tonight in the villa! #newcomers #shootyourshot!” Azzi read out, inciting excitement through the villa again. 

“Hey you’re Azzi and Nika, right? Guard’s on the Sparks?” Coco asks, making room for them around the fire pit to welcome them. 

“Yeah, we’re shocked they picked us to go together since we knew each other. You’re Coco Gauff. I’m a big fan.” Azzi gushes, hugging Coco. 

“Hey Kate,” Nika says, acknowledging the blonde in the crowd as she scans around, “How’s the island?” 

“Good. Surprised to see you guys here but I’m hyped. We need more basketball representation in here.” Kate jokes. 

“We get enough ‘basketball is the best sport’ debating from these two. Now we got more.” KK Harvey jokes, motioning to the two basketball blondes in the pit. 

“Basketball is amazing though, you gotta admit.” Azzi plays along, earning a few lighthearted groans from the rest of the villa. 

“Just promise you shut up Paige before she goes on a whole rant. Kate just eggs on that little pest.” Coco groans. 

“I’m never wrong Coco, don’t play with me. Tennis is fun but basketball is art.” Paige says, earning more groans from the group. “Do you guys know who you wanna pull for chats?” Ellie asks the two bombshells, jutting into the conversation. 

“Um, I have my eyes on a few people but I’m gonna see for the next few hours as I get to know more people on the island,” Nika responds. 

“We know you guys are in couples right now, but we just wanted to wait until we got to know more people’s vibes,” Azzi adds, looking around all the girls in the pit. A few couples had already gone off to different parts of the villa, but she was getting a good look at everyone left. There were a few people on her radar and a few people who weren’t. 

Azzi: Kate was making some pretty clear eye contact with me, but she’s on my “pulling for chats” roster.

The group spends the next few minutes getting to know each other and filling in the two on the island news. Paige tried to focus on Ellie squeezing her arm, but she was distracted by things she couldn’t comprehend. 

Things such as Azzi Fudd making flashing bouts of eye contact with her to no end. Paige was not one to falter at strong eye contact, but she couldn’t help but grow slightly nervous under the shooting guard's gaze. It wasn’t rare for Paige to catch the eye of someone. New people entering the villa the past few days had flocked to her, but she rejected them to no avail to remain loyal to Ellie. It was still fun flirting and making stable eye contact was one of her specialties. But Azzi Fudd seemed to be looking at her with a specific glint that Paige couldn’t pinpoint. 

Paige: Did you guys see the way she was looking at me? I can’t tell if she wants me in her bed or wants me dead.  

Annoyance? Lust? Hatred? C’mon Paige tell us what you see!

“So you guys want a little villa tour?” Kate asks suddenly while stepping slightly closer to Azzi, “It’s super nice.” 

The group makes their way around the villa, showing the two new islanders all the spots. Ellie and Paige stayed hand-in-hand as they walked, Ellie refusing to let go. Even when Paige got closer to Azzi coincidentally, the shooting guard would make it a point to take two steps away and it didn’t help that Ellie was pulling her in the other direction. They end up at the rooms as they finish off the night, the girls entering their assigned makeup rooms to get ready for bed. Azzi is put into Paige, Kate, Coco, and KK’s room, getting spilt up from Nika. 

“So Azzi, what do you think of the villa?” Coco asks while wiping her makeup off. 

“It’s nice, bigger than I expected. Soul ties are a lot more secretive than I thought.” Azzi answers, unpacking her bags. 

“Yeah, a lot of shit goes down there. If you go to soul ties at night we know you’re fucking or something.” KK laughs. 

“Do you know who you’re picking for your dates tomorrow? You get two right?” Paige asks, speaking up for the first time. 

“Yeah, two. I’m not sure who I’m picking yet. I think they’re asking me to pick in an hour so I have time to think in the shower.” 

“What’s your type?” Kate asks Azzi boldly, getting an approval look from Paige. 

“Uhh, I tend to focus a lot on personality. Just someone who can match my competitiveness and my energy. But if we’re talking looks, I tend to go for tall blondes.” Azzi says casually, immediately getting Kate to snap her eyes to Paige. 

Paige: Is Azzi flirting with me or Kate? If it’s me, I’m in trouble. Ellie is not going to be happy if I go on a date tomorrow. 

“Is there a separate shower room? I need to unpack my bottles.” Azzi says while standing up.

“Yeah, it’s down the hall to the left. That’s where our group showers.” Coco instructs, getting a nod of thank you before Azzi leaves. 

“Hold up, was she talking about me?” Kate polls the group the second Azzi safely leaves the room, “Or was she walking about the other two blondies?” 

“I think she was just stating her type buddy.” KK Harvey jokes, “Plus, she’s totally talking about me. She’s been giving me the eyes.”  

“Really?” Paige chimes in curiously, “Like slightly angry but confusingly hot?” 

“No, like she wanna look into my soul…What type of looks is she giving you?” KK questions. 

“Nothing… she wasn’t really looking at me, just wondering,” Paige adds quickly. She was probably just overthinking due to the reveal of her type. 

“Back off KK, you’re happy with Kylie. Sarah and I have been distant for days.” Kate playfully challenges. 

“Kylie’s great, but Azzi and Nika are hot, not going to lie. I kinda hope I get to go on the date with them. Don’t tell Kylie though, she might kill me.” 

“As long as you don’t tell Sarah. I wanna test my connection with the bombshells but I don’t want to blindside Sarah.” 

“You guys are acting like Azzi and Nika want you guys. She could be talking about girls in the other room.” Coco jokes, butting into the heated debate.

“Please, Coco. We get it. You and Paige are in happy little couples and don’t need to worry about recoupling. I would say Kylie would leave me the second another hockey girl comes in here.” KK says sarcastically before adding, “I’ve never gone for a basketball girl before.” 

“I have. And I know them better than you loser. Azzi said tall, that means basketball. She was clearly talking about me.” Kate argues back. 

“I’ll be right back,” Paige says suddenly, jumping from her makeup chair. 

“Where are you going?” Kate asks as Paige starts exiting the room. 

“Just going to chat with Azzi for a bit. Nothing serious. I’ll be back in 30 seconds.” Paige says quickly, ignoring any questioning she got from the group. 

Paige makes her way down the hall, knocking twice on the shower room door before it slowly squeaks open.

“It’s unlocked,” Azzi says simply, her composure even. 

“Oh. Some people are uncomfortable with people coming in during showers so I always knock. Wasn’t sure if you were showering.” 

“Nope, just unpacking,” Azzi says shortly, confusing Paige again, “Do you need to shower? I can leave.” 

“Oh, no. I actually wanted to talk to you real quick before you pick your dates for tomorrow.” Paige starts. 

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” Azzi asks cautiously, continuing to organize her skincare on her shelf. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m in a pretty solid connection with Ellie and I don’t want you to waste your date on me because I’m mostly taken. You can still pick me, but I just want to be transparent from the beginning before we get to know each other.” Paige says while sitting up on the sink.

Azzi stood up from her packing, giving Paige a focused look of mild confusion. 

“What makes you think I’m picking you?” Azzi asks with an even tone, eyes unwavering from Paige’s. 

“Well, you said tall blondes are your type and that’s only me and Kate. So I assumed you’d use your two picks on us.” Paige says, slightly less confident.

Azzi steps closer to Paige, closing the gap between them. 

“Is it true that if you take off your top they can’t air it because it’s nudity?” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear, pulling the blonde in. 

“Uh, yeah? They can’t air it. But they get kinda annoyed when we do it and talk about villa stuff.” Paige whispers shakily into Azzi’s ear. 

“Turn your head,” Azzi says as she takes two steps back, swiftly taking off her bikini top.

Paige had never swiveled so hard, almost falling off the sink counter. Paige turned her head halfway before she realized she could see Azzi in the mirror reflection, leading her to close her eyes as fast as possible.

“I know your reputation in the league, but I’m not trying to air out your business on TV, so I’m going to speak like this,” Azzi yells out before turning around, “You can turn around now, it’s just my back.” 

Paige opens her eyes to see Azzi’s long braids flowing down her bare back, the only article of clothing being her bottom bikini. Azzi turned her head to speak. 

“How are you going to judge me on my so-called reputation?” Paige questioned back, getting offended at the “Player” accusations she hated. 

“You ghosted one of my friends, so don’t act surprised I’m cautious of you. I came to the Villa to find love and take home the win.” 

“So did I. You haven’t seen me with Ellie. I have a lot of layers, you’d be surprised.” Paige says with a smirk, her voice growing bolder. 

“Layers? Yeah, ten layers of player. I know what you did to Alyssa.” 

“Alyssa? Who’s that?” Paige asks, racking her brain for possible Alyssa’s in her past.

“Jesus, you don’t even remember her. That’s crazy.” Azzi scoffs accusatorily, “Anyway, don’t worry. I won’t pick you for the date, I’m not going to intrude on you and Ellie. Seems like you guys are happy.” 

Paige watches as Azzi slips her bikini back on. Watching the muscles on her back contract as she pulls her top over her head. Her bare skin was addicting to look 

So addicting, Paige was caught red-handed admiring her as Azzi turned back around. 

“You sure you're happy with Ellie?” Azzi jokes dryly. 

“Very. She’s a great girl. Exactly my type.” Paige challenges back, leaning her body toward Azzi. 

“What is your type, Paige?” 

“Hot, Brunette, Pretty Eyes,” Paige says a little quieter as Azzi steps a little too close for comfort. 

“I see,” Azzi answers, nodding her head. 

“Don’t think I’m calling you my type. You just happen to fit it.” Paige adds weakly. 

“You saying I got pretty eyes? I know I'm the other two.” Azzi asks playfully, opening the door to the shower room. 

“Maybe. Let me look into them longer and I’ll decide.” Paige chirps back, a surge of confidence coursing through her. 

“In your dreams, Bueckers.” Azzi sings out with a laugh as she takes her exit, leaving a mildly dazed Paige on the sink. 

This was certainly going to be an interesting summer in the Villa for Paige. 

-

A/N: I apologize if this is shit, this is just funny for me.

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[doppelgangercomic]

another update. love that for me

hey guys, dan here again!!! wanted to give another update on progress!

so if you follow my main you know im also working on other stories/comics at the same time as dpgii! my dbz oc comic "mirrors" is my current baby that im putting most of my time into. having said that, i kind of..havent been working on any doppelganger pages x'D but theres more to it than just being occupied with another comic, which is what i wanted to talk about!

the original plan for dpgii was that i was going to just do the entirety of chapter 1 as a comic and then stop, allowing everyone to read the fic afterward once they got a taste of the story. then i realized i didnt have the energy or interest to invest into a full chapter, so i decided to compromise with saying i'd do a small scene from each chapter instead. THEN i realized i dont have the motivation for even THAT much...and i left it at the first five pages.

i guess that's where i'm at right now? im kinda lowkey getting back into danny phantom for reasons i kinda talked about on main a while back, so my interest in dpg has been on and off rather than just..off x'D but ive been considering at LEAST, if nothing else, drawing the one scene i was excited for--or...i guess in this case, the whole chapter. chapter 5! it has the most action and the most drama--just like the og comic--and i was really looking forward to drawing it!

so im thinking i might do that :] however this could change too..so i dont want to promise anything! apologies if any of u were excited for a full comic or even little snippets 🙏 its just hard to invest so much time and energy into something i only have a little bit of interest in..as much as i genuinely love it

i guess as a reminder, my main is @eirian, my art blog is @dansaiyanart, and my other currently-running comic blogs are @mirrorscomic and @villain-school! also, the FULL SEQUEL is available as a fic here if you'd like to read what i had planned!

the future of doppelganger is uncertain, but it will always be important to me u_u <3 thank you all so much for the support youve given over the years, it means the actual world to me and was the reason i started making comics beyond doppelganger at all!

[builtbybrokenbells]

Spitfire | iv

After a month long battle with your first long distance relationship, you start to wonder if the turmoil of missing a rockstar is even worth it. In true Jake fashion, he makes you forget you ever felt that way to begin with.

Read part three here

Read part five here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 7.7k

Warnings: drinking, swearing, super sweet fluff, slight ldr angst, play fighting, annoying brothers, sorry if i miss any!

hi! i wrote this one super fast because im excited to get to the climax of this story. plus i just love jake and need to write about it to process my feelings. this chapter is pretty light and fluffy. no 18+ yet, but it is coming ;) as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!!

~

You walked off the stage, grad cap and diploma secured tightly in your hand. The main floor was a mess of bodies, making it impossible to find anybody you were looking for. You pushed through the mass of black gowns and proud parents, eyes desperately trying to locate someone with familiarity. After fighting your way to the back of the arena, you noticed a group of tall, slender figures who could be mistaken for the same people if caught in the right situation. You let out a sigh of relief, practically running towards them. When you reached them, you grabbed on to the closest arm. The boy spun around, confused at first, but his eyes lit up at the sight of you once he realized who you were.

“Hey, squirt!” Alex picked you up, spinning you around in a hug. You laughed, begging to be put back down almost instantaneously. “I’m so proud of you.” He said when your feet touched the ground again, his arms still holding you tightly. The rest of the group had begun to catch on to the situation. Within a moment, Sam had joined in on the hug, ushering your other two brothers to join, too. Your parents were laughing, tears threatening to spill from your mothers eyes. Eventually, your parents joined, too.

The group was full of laughter, arms all tangled together, making it hard to differentiate who’s belonged to who. Ally had taken it upon herself to snap a few quick pictures, finding the sight of the situation to precious to pass up. When you all broke apart, the air filled with notes of congratulations and your family telling you how proud they were of you. You breathed a thank you, barely being able to process the situation yet. You had your college degree in your hand; the last three years of torment and despair had ultimately paid off. Your eyes scanned the people around you, finally landing on your best friend. She had her phone propped up, pointing it outward towards the group as if she were on the phone with someone.

A smile began to eat away on your cheeks. You caught her gaze, silently asking her if she was chatting with who you thought she was. She gave a nod, motioning for you to come see for yourself. You pushed past your youngest brother, earning an annoyed look from him. You were too busy to care, only concerned with who she was talking to. When you reached her, sure turned her phone so you could see the screen. Jake, alongside his three band mates, were all crowded into the frame, watching the screen intently. When they saw your face, they exploded into cheers. You couldn’t stop the laughter flowing from you, amazed at how much love was coming your way that day. She smiled, handing you the phone. You took it, whispering a small thank you.

“We’re so proud of you!” Josh’s chipper tone filled the speaker. The background noise in the air would have made it hard to hear them, but they were always loud enough that it wasn’t even a concern in your mind.

“The witchy woman strikes again!” Sam belted, a grin plastered across his face.

“Your speech was fantastic.” Danny complimented.

“Thanks, guys.” You chuckled. “So glad you could join the celebration, even if it was virtual.”

“Well, actually-“ Josh began to speak, but Jake gave him a quick shove, silencing him. He pulled the phone away so only his face was in view. You gave him a strange look, but Jake quickly switched topics, not letting the conversation linger on Josh’s words.

“Let me see it, baby.” Your heart fluttered at his words, a blush involuntarily pushing onto your cheeks. You pulled your diploma up, opening the cover to show him the inside. His eyes squinted, trying to make it out as best as he could. After a moment, a smile crossed his face, too. “That’s my girl.” You were certain you could have died on the spot. He said it with so much sincerity that there was no room for a hint of doubt that he meant it. “I’m so proud of you, y/n.”

“Thanks, Jake.” You responded. “I wish you were here.”

“Me too,” he told you, but his eyes were following something beyond the phone screen. “Soon, okay? I promise.” There was some kind of emotion in his expression that you couldn’t decipher. Excitement, maybe? You couldn’t place it.

“Whatever you say, rockstar.” You teased. Deep down, even if you’d never admit it, you were sad he wasn’t there. You were more upset at the fact you didn���t know when you’d see him again. It was pushing a month since you’d met him, now. The time you’d spent with him at his hotel all those weeks ago was slowly dwindling into just a memory rather than a feeling. As much as you talked to him on the phone, it couldn’t equate to him being there in person. You felt a little ridiculous, missing someone so much when he wasn’t even your boyfriend. But, he was special, and there was no denying it. You didn’t have to be ‘in a relationship’ with him to miss him, or to love him. He was just that type of person.

“I mean it,” he said, looking more serious now. “I want to see you, too.” You were pulled away from his words by your brothers ushering you out the door. When you emerged into the bustling parking lot, you focused back on Jake, trying to ignore the violent glare of the sun.

“I know, I’m sorry. I guess this is harder than I thought it would be.” You chuckled. “I just miss you, and I can’t wait to see you again.” You admitted. A sad smile crossed his face.

“I know, but I promise things are going to get better.” His tone held a note of finality. You gave a nod. “Listen, I have to go. I don’t want to, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay, thank you for watching the ceremony.” You tried not to let your disappointment show. “Talk to you later, rockstar.” He looked like he was walking, now. You could hear lots of chatter in the background of the call. You couldn’t quite place where he was, though.

“I’m so proud of you, y/n.” He reminded. He pulled the phone away from him slightly so the rest of his brothers could crowd into the frame again.

“Bye!” The other three chorused. You let out a giggle, giving a wave.

“Bye, guys! Thanks for calling!”

“We love you!” Josh’s voice rang through the phone again, warming your heart. You pulled your camera back, allowing your brothers and two roommates to see them, too. They all waved at the camera. Jake caught your eye one last time, giving you a look full of emotion. It was his way of saying ‘I love you’ without actually having to say it aloud. You didn’t break his eye contact until the phone disconnected. You stared at the black screen for a moment, heart heavy but full at the same time. You knew he was busy, but some days it just hit harder than others. That day in particular seemed to be one of them.

You found it funny, how you were surrounded by people who loved you and wanted to celebrate you, but even so, the only one who you wanted to celebrate with was Jake. You handed Eve’s phone back to her, attempting to break out of your solemn state by quickly covering it with a smile. Eve gave you a knowing look, reassuring you that she knew how you felt, and it was okay to feel that way. You let out a deep breath, shaking the emotion off.

“Does everyone want to go for dinner?” Your mom asked, looking around to the group. You looked between your brothers, who were more than okay with the idea. They were always willing to eat, no matter the circumstance. You turned to Ally and Eve, who gave a nod of agreement.

“Yeah, I know a good place.” You said, giving a restaurant name for everyone to type into their GPS.

You all piled into separate cars. Your parents and Alex got in your car, Eve and Sam went with your other two brothers in her car, and Ally went with Ben in his car.

You all went to a small family diner, crowding into a few tables they had pushed together for your group. The meal was fantastic, filled with laughter and old memories, and even some tears from your parents. Many pictures were taken, some sent directly to Jake and some posted on social media stories. A complimentary dessert was served from the staff as a congratulations for graduating. You loved the small businesses; that’s why you took the last three years to get to know the workers and the owners of as many spots as you could. They were always kind and appreciative of any business they got. You loved the relationships you got to form with the staff, and they always seemed quick to thank you for your loyalty and support over the years.

As you were finishing up and the group was getting ready to leave, you looked to your left to see Eve holding hands with Sam under the table, seemingly undetected to everyone else. Your eyes softened at the sight. For a moment, a twinge of jealousy ran through you, mad that you couldn’t have Jake there to hold his hand. Then, you shook it away, realizing that Eve was so supportive of how you were feeling because she’d been feeling that way for years. Her and Sam fell in love practically the minute they’d met each other, but always lived so far away that they thought it was best to leave things as they were instead of fighting for a long distance relationship.

You thought about it for a moment, uncertainty bubbling in your stomach, knowing you had done the complete opposite. They waited, and still seemed to be waiting for each other, or for the time to be right. They didn’t tell anyone, they barely ever let on about how they felt about each other or how much they talked. You knew about it only because you knew both of them better than anyone in the world. When you eventually asked her about it, she was honest with you. On the other hand, you met Jake, and denied completely that you felt any connection, only to run into him again and start to talk to him so often that your day felt empty when he wasn’t on the other side of the phone.

You pushed the thoughts aside, realizing that you were in way too deep to worry about it now. Even if you put a pause on whatever you and Jake were doing, you were certain it would cause more turmoil than good by that point. You figured it was best to let it run its course; either you would end up really happy, or swear off dating for the rest of your life. Still, as you pushed the thought away, an uneasiness settled in the pit of your stomach. You wondered if getting so close to someone you barely knew was the best idea.

“Ready to head home?” Eve asked, noticing your blank stare. You looked up to her, nodding.

“Yeah, I’m ready to drink.” You said, a smile breaking through your anxious thoughts. You gathered your things from the table, turning to your parents for a goodbye. They walked towards you, past all of your brothers, and pulled you into a hug. “Thanks for everything.” You mumbled, head pressed into your fathers chest. He was holding you tightly, scared to let you go. He couldn’t believe his little girl was grown up and ready to start her life.

“We’re so proud of you, honey.” Your mom said, fixing the strap on your dress. You laughed to yourself, knowing your mom wouldn’t be your mom without her worrying that everything was proper and in place. She was so caring and attentive, wanting to ensure that all of her children were happy and ready to take on the world.

“We’re going to head to the hotel and leave you guys to your partying.” Your dad chuckled, knowing you would all be up to no good. He remembered back to when you were all living at home with them, certain that nothing had changed. “Meet us for breakfast tomorrow before we fly out?” He asked.

“Yeah, what time?” You questioned.

“I think our flight is at three?” He looked to your mother, silently begging for confirmation.

“Three-thirty.” She corrected, causing another laugh from you. “We’d love to see you again before we go.” She pointed the second part of her statement at you.

“Yeah, I’m sure I could manage that.” You assured them. “Give me a call in the morning.”

“Okay,” a soft smile crossed your mothers lips.

“Did you guys need a drive back to the hotel?” You asked. Your mom shook her head.

“We already called a cab.” You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“I could have driven you! It’s not that far away.” You scolded. Your dad let out a small laugh, shaking his head at you.

“Go home, have fun, but be safe.” He said, pulling you into another hug, landing a kiss on the top of your head. Your mom did the same, holding on to you a bit longer than usual.

“I love you guys.” You said, not wanting them to go. You loved the life you were building, but it was extremely hard living so far away from your family.

“We love you.” Your mom said, finally pulling back. “See you in the morning.” You bid a small goodbye as they turned away, watching them as they walked outside. Alex slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. He was always there to pick you back up when you were sad. He was mind-numbingly annoying by times, in true big brother fashion, but he was always your biggest supporter and the first ear willing to listen when you were upset.

“Let’s head home, squirt.” He squeezed your arm. You gave him a grin, gathering the rest of the group and heading outside, too.

When you arrived back at your house, you and Alex were out of breath from belting along to songs on the stereo and laughing about old childhood stories. You drove a bit slower, wanting to spend a little more time alone with your brother. You locked your car, leading him into the front door. When you stepped inside, your eyes soaked up the unusual decor that was littering the house. You couldn’t help but laugh, looking at the banners that were hung haphazardly on the walls, miscellaneous balloons littering the floors, and streamers dangling from the ceiling. You realized the group must have decorated earlier. You left before everyone else, needing to get to the ceremony for instructions on how the event was going to happen.

“Surprise!” Eve shouted, barely being able to contain her excitement. You picked up a balloon from the ground, looking at the writing on it.

“Happy 7th birthday?” You questioned.

“We were on a time crunch.” She laughed, running over to give you a hug. “But, we have lots of alcohol and food. The balloons were the least of my worry.”

“Thank you.” You meant it. Even when life was terrible, or you never thought things would get better, your friends never failed to show you how great the world could be even when it doesn’t seem like it. They were the best people you’d ever met, and they would do anything for you. You would for them, too, no questions asked. They were beyond friends; more like family, at that point. “I’m gonna go get changed.” You told her. She nodded, letting you go so you could go to your room.

You closed your bedroom door behind you, dropping your purse on your bed. You placed your diploma on your desk, eyes lingering over it with a feeling of satisfaction growing larger by the second. Before anything, you reached over to the wall and ran your fingers over the signed record from Jake, wanting to feel close to him just for a moment. Eventually, you went to your closet and pulled out your favourite pair of blue mom jeans. They had embroidered flowers on the back pockets from a girls night you’d had with your roommates the year prior. They weren’t perfectly done, but the three of you definitely had fun learning how to do it. Eve and Ally both had jeans that matched yours, and they frequently wore them, loving the memory just as much as you did.

You pulled out a black lace bodysuit, deciding to dress up a little bit. You had no idea how many people the girls had invited, so you thought it best to be prepared. You changed quickly, throwing on some more perfume and deodorant. You made a pit stop at the bathroom, tidying your makeup and reapplying your lipstick that had worn off from dinner. As you were finishing, you noticed the golden glow through the window, signifying the sun setting. With a quick brush through your hair, you were ready to rejoin everyone. The kitchen was noisy, filled with all of your brothers and closest friends. When they saw you enter, they let out a collective cheer. Sam went right to the table, pouring a round of shots for everyone. He handed you one first, watching expectingly. You rolled your eyes, but swallowed it down like he wanted. Once you finished, he took his own.

“That was for you, graduate.” He jokingly bowed to you. “I never thought you’d make it.” You lightly punched his arm, laughing off his pass.

“Shut up, Sam.”

“You love me!” He retorted, returning to the bottles of liquor to continue drinking. You followed, grabbing your own cup and mixing yourself a drink. You took a seat at the table, seeing a deck of playing cards messily strewn across the wood. You picked it up, giving it a quick shuffle. You set it back down, in front of Sam, who’d taken the chair next to you. He gave you a look of questioning. You nodded your head towards the cards.

“Cut it.” You stated. “Low card takes a shot.” He straightened up, hovering his fingers over the sides of the cards, as if he was channelling some sort of lucky energy. “Aces are high.” You reminded. He gave a nod, settling on a spot in the deck before he cut it in half. He slumped slightly as he looked at the number, flipping it to show you. You smirked, eyes looking over his choice. “Three’s the best you could do?”

“Fuck you.” He placed the cards back down, looking to you expectantly. You took to the deck, cutting it closer to the bottom. You took a deep breath in before flipping it over.

“Drink up.” You threw the cards down gently, letting him see the queen for himself.

“Whatever. You always cheat.” He picked a bottle from the collection, barely looking at the label before he poured a shot into his glass.

“What are you, four?” You retorted. “Grow up.” You both dissolved into a small fit of laughter at the fake argument. He drank the liquid with a small shudder, placing the shot glass back on the table.

“You’re trying to kill me, woman.”

“You picked the bottle, not me.” You chuckled. “You did that to yourself, Sammy boy.”

“We’re playing king’s cup, later. You’ll pay for it, then.” He warned, standing now. Eve was hovering behind him, giggling at your antics.

“Whatever you say, brother.” You waved him off. Eve gave you a smile, but ultimately followed him as he walked away. You understood, but it irritated you slightly. Not because she wanted to be with him, but because Jake wasn’t there for you to follow after him like that. You hated that you were bothered by it so much, but it seemed as though that feeling was permanent. You even found yourself feeling that way around Ben and Ally by times, and it never bothered you before. They’d been dating as long as you knew them, and you were well acquainted with their PDA. Only recently had it started to irk you. Your other three brothers broke you away from your internal brooding. When you looked up, Alex was holding out a can for you. You reached out, hesitantly taking it from him. You noticed they all had one of their own, watching you intensely. “You guys are freaking me out.” You warned.

They broke character for a moment, letting out a few childish laughs. “Shotgun with us.” Alex said. Relief washed over you as you stood.

“You guys should have just said that.” You rolled your eyes.

“Then it wouldn’t have been any fun.” Austin reminded. You grabbed a knife from the cutlery drawer, poking a hole in the side of your can. You handed it around to the other three, who all followed suit.

“If she wins, she can get her graduation present!” Eve called out, catching your attention. You cocked your head to the side in confusion.

“I thought I said no gifts?” You called back.

“Trust me, you’ll want this one.” She said before looking down at her phone. “So you better beat them.” You gave a shrug, understanding it was best not to argue. When Will put the knife down on the counter, he nodded to the rest of you, silently saying he was ready. “Go on three, okay?” Eve said. You all hummed in agreement, preparing for the competition. “Three, two…..” she let out a long, dramatic pause before letting you all start. “One!” She shouted. Instantly, you all cracked the tabs of your cans open tipped your heads back, side of the cans to your mouth.

You drank it as fast as you could, throwing the can in the sink as soon as all of the liquid was gone. You looked to your brothers, catching your breath, only to see you had finished first. Will was next, followed neck and neck by Alex and Austin. They ooked around, noticing that you’d won. The three all let out a stagger of belches, making you turn your nose up at them. When they caught their own breath, they let out a collective dramatic groan, clearly faking them. You watched them carefully, not sure why their reaction was so docile. Usually they’d be floored if you beat them at any competition. You were astonished. “You guys let me win.” You deducted.

“What?” Alex dragged out his words, faking disbelief. “We would never do such a thing!”

“Yeah, y/n, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Austin shook his head.

“You’re losing it, squirt.” Will said, tossing his can in the sink, too.

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” You laughed, but you were genuinely nervous. A knock sounded on the main door, making the tension even worse.

“Well, you won, right?” Eve cackled, finding your confusion hilarious.

“I mean, yeah, but-“

“Didn’t I say you’d get your gift if you won?” You gave a slow nod, still not catching on to what she was saying.

“And that is… a person?” You questioned. She didn’t answer, only watched you, eager for you to understand the situation. You looked between her and your brothers, waiting for somebody to tell you what was happening. “Can somebody tell me what the fuck-“

“Go answer the door!” They all yelled in unison. You cowered slightly at all of the loud voices at once, but did as you were told. All of your brothers pulled out their phones, wanting to capture your reaction on video. When you got to the door, you couldn’t really see outside. It was dark, and your roommates hadn’t turned the porch light on. You unlocked the knob, twisting it and pulling it open slowly. You stepped back, allowing yourself to open it completely.

You stood, frozen, dumbfounded at the bodies waiting on the porch. You blinked once, hard. When you opened your eyes, the sight before you was the same. You blinked again, just to be sure. When you looked for the third time and they still stood before you, you were certain your heart was going to explode out of your chest. You took a step forward, hesitant at first. “You really think we’d miss your graduation party, witchy woman?” Jake let out a nearly silent tsk. When he spoke, it solidified the fact that him and his brothers were really standing in front of you. You sprung to action, nearly knocking him over with the force of your hug. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around you, holding you with just as much enthusiasm.

When you pulled away, without another thought, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his. His hand found your face, thumb running gently over the skin of your cheek. Your own hand found the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, completely lost in the feeling of him being in front of you again. The warmth of his mouth on yours gave you a feeling you were certain you’d never be able to replicate. You barely knew him, but somehow he felt like home, more than anywhere or anyone else ever had. When you broke apart, you were both blissfully breathless, foreheads resting against each others as if you needed the support to remain upright.

“As sweet, and as gross, as that was, we’re here too.” Josh chimed from beside you, giving you a gentle reminder that he wanted a hug, too. Jake sent him a look of warning, to which his twin remained happily ignorant to. You laughed, breaking from Jake to pull him into a hug. You did the same with Sam and Danny.

“Come in, please.” You ushered them all inside, noticing that they were carrying bags. “I don’t even know where to start.” You chuckled. “Are you guys staying here?”

“I mean, Eve said we could, but if you don’t want us to, we don’t have to.” Jake explained.

“No, I’m more than okay with it.” You promised. “Just trying to make sense of the whole thing.”

“I figured that Jake would stay with you. Austin and Will have the guest bedroom, Alex has the upstairs couch. There’s still two couches in the basement, and I’m pretty sure I have an air mattress in the closet.” Eve told you. You decided not to bring up that she didn’t mention your youngest brothers name. You figured he’d end up in her room, anyway.

“So you’ve been planning this for a while?” You questioned, giving her a narrow stare. She nodded. “And everyone knew but me?” She nodded again.

“That’s kind of the whole point of a surprise, y/n.” Sam said, as if it was obvious. You broke from the boys, leaning over to punch your brother in the shoulder. He hissed in pain, rubbing the spot where your fist connected with him.

“Wait!” The tallest of the three Kiszka brothers broke the tension. You all turned to look at him, confused at the sudden outburst. “If he’s Sam, and I’m Sam, how are we going to know which Sam is which?” You looked between the two, thinking about it for a moment.

“Okay, well, you can be Sammy.” You pointed at Jake’s brother. “And you can be Sam.” You then pointed at your own sibling.

“That works.” Sam nodded. Sammy agreed.

“I figured calling you Kiszka may be a little impersonal. And if I called you ‘Tall Sam’, it might bruise his ego.” You explained with a hint of fake sympathy.

“You know what?” You brother said, making a move at you. “Fuck you,” He grumbled before he caught you off guard, tackling you to the ground. The both of you wrestled each other, fighting for dominance, while the rest of the crowd watched.

“Did I cause that?” Sammy asked, looking to your roommate. She shook her head. “Should we stop them?” She repeated her earlier action.

“That’s what they’re like,” she explained, gaze falling to the dispute on the floor.

“And she’ll win, too. She always does.” Alex added. Eve gave a shrug.

“I didn’t want to say it, but yeah, she does.” Eve admitted. The entire group let out a laugh. “Did you guys want a drink? I’m sure this will go on for a while.”

Eventually, you had Sam pinned to the ground. You were both breathless and in disarray, but you weren’t willing to give up without him admitting defeat. After a few moments of him struggling, you felt him give up, tapping the floor twice. You jumped up, giving a quick a-ha, just to piss him off. You straightened yourself out, fixing your clothes and your hair as best you could. You held a hand out, helping your brother to his feet. It was like routine with you both; as soon as the fight stopped, you went back to normal. No hard feelings until the next one rolled around. You and Sam joined the rest of the company around the table, all with a drink in their hand, now.

“You guys can go throw your bags downstairs, if you want.” You told them. “I can show you where to go.”

“No, I can. It’s okay.” Eve assured you. You nodded, eyes falling on Jake. He gave you a soft smile. You nodded your head towards the hallway, a silent plea for a minute alone. He didn’t hesitate in joining you as you walked away. You led him down to your room, prompting him to enter first. He did, but in a borderline cautious manor. You followed, gently closing the door behind you.

He sat his bag down by the end of your bed, turning to look at you. You approached him slowly, reaching for his hand before you said anything. He took yours, locking your fingers together. He gave a gentle pull, bringing you closer to him. A smile ghosted your lips, realizing that the memory of being with Jake was nothing compared to the reality. You wrapped your free arm around him, resting your head on his chest. He placed his lips to the top of your head, lingering for a second more than he intended. He’d been anticipating this moment for days, but now that you were in front of him, he was drunk off your presence. You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, thinking that it was one of the most peaceful sounds you’d ever heard. You wanted to talk, to hear every word he was willing to say, or to ask all of the questions that had been bubbling in your head since he showed up, but you couldn’t. The serenity of the shared silence between you was too comforting to break.

He sat down on the edge of your bed, guiding you down beside him. At first, you just rested your head on his shoulder, never letting your hand fall from his. After a moment, he used his hand to pull your chin up, wanting nothing more than to see your face. You watched his eyes, losing yourself in the brown hue that was threatening black in the dim lighting. You opened your mouth, wanting to speak so badly, but not knowing what to say. He gave a small chuckle, mostly because he felt the same way. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, running his thumb over your cheek, and eventually down over your jawline. His thumb brushed over the bottom of your lip, eliciting a smile from you. You kissed the pad of his finger, remembering back to when he did it to you the night you met him.

“I missed you.” He said, finally breaking the silence.

“I missed you, too.” You almost laughed, knowing that your words couldn’t come close to explaining how you really felt. “I thought you had a show today?”

“Yeah, it turns out that I didn’t, actually.” He shrugged, a small hint of humour in his statement.

“So you lied to me, Jacob?” You teased.

“Maybe a little, but it was for the best, and it’ll never happen again.” He promised, a grin eating away at his cheeks.

“Uh-huh,” you mumbled, your own hand finding its way to his face, now. You tangled your fingers in the hair behind his ear, pushing it away from his face. You’d never dated a boy with long hair, but the more time you spent with Jake, the more you realized what you were missing out on. Then again, you thought it may just be a Jake thing. A lot of things seemed to be. ‘If I had to label myself, I would probably be Jake-sexual,’ you thought to yourself, having to hold back a giggle. You brushed your own thoughts away, shutting down your own stupidity. “And you’ve been keeping it a secret from me for how long?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I almost gave in a few times, but I thought that a surprise would be way better.” He explained. “Then Josh almost ruined it when we were at the fucking airport earlier.” He rolled his eyes. You thought back to the FaceTime call, laughing at the memory. The interaction made a bit more sense now. “I really wanted to be here for the ceremony, but the schedule just didn’t line up. I’m really sorry I missed it.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything. You saw it on FaceTime, anyway.”

“I know, I know, but it wasn’t the same. I was hoping to be the first one to hug you when you got off stage.” He chuckled to himself. “It may be stupid, but I really wish I could have.”

“There’s one more ceremony after this, you know.” You reminded him. He smiled, nodding at your words.

“So you think you’re gonna keep me around for that long?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“I’ll keep you around forever, if that’s what you want, too.” You admitted.

“I wouldn’t mind that.” He breathed. “So you were surprised? Nobody let it slip?” You shook your head.

“No, I had no idea.”

“But pleasantly surprised, right?” You laughed at his question.

“Of course, Jake. I’ve been wishing you were here every night since you left. I’m more than happy that you came.” You leaned in a bit closer, a bit too nervous to kiss him, for some reason.

“That’s good, because I’m happy I’m here.” He told you, inching closer as well. You stayed in limbo for a moment, both scared to make a move. “I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s okay.” He finally said, not being able to resist the urge any longer.

“It’s more than okay, rockstar.” You said. Within a second, his mouth was on yours, a bit more desperate than the kiss you’d shared outside. His hand released his hold on yours, quickly finding your hip and pulling you closer to him. Your fingers grabbed the fabric of his shirt, holding on to him like you were scared he’d get away. When he pulled back, his nose brushed over yours, causing a giggle from you.

“I have something for you.” He said, moving back a bit. You tried not to show your disappointment at the sudden withdrawal. He reached down to his bag, opening it and rummaging for a moment before pulling a small gift bag out. He handed it to you, his smile never faltering.

“You didn’t have to get me-“

“I wanted to.” He cut you off, knowing exactly where you were going with your statement. One thing you loved about him was how sweet he was, but every now and then he let a dominant side slip out. It made you excited to reveal a whole other side of him when the time came. You took it from him, looking over the simple black gift bag. You pulled up the single piece of tape holding it closed, taking a peek inside. You pulled out a small bottle. Upon first inspection, you realized it was a bottle of cologne. You gave him a questioning look. “It may be stupid, or whatever, but, uh, you said one night on the phone that your bed didn’t smell like me and it made you sad?” He was unsure of himself as he spoke. A blush dusted your cheeks, remembering that statement very clearly.

“Yeah, you… you smell… nice.” You managed to get the words out, feeling like an idiot. “I think that the night we stayed together at the hotel was the best sleep I’ve ever had. It sucks sometimes, because I don’t have anything that really reminds me of you. When I think of that night, I usually remember the smell of your cologne. I think it helped me fall asleep.” You explained, looking over the small bottle, too embarrassed to look up at him.

“Well, that’s the one.” He chuckled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Josh thought of that, actually. If you don’t want it, it’s okay. I just thought that maybe… that would solve that problem.” You felt the anxiety slip away.

“That’s really sweet, Jake.” You pulled the cap off, putting the bottle to your nose and inhaling. Your eyes involuntarily fluttered closed, revelling in the scent. It smelled exactly like him. “I’m sorry if me saying that was weird.” You said when you came back to reality.

“No, I thought it was cute.” He laughed. “I was more worried that you would think I was weird for getting you that.” You shook your head, shutting that idea down as fast as he said it.

“I think this will definitely help me sleep better.” You admitted, all notes of embarrassment long gone, now.

“That’s what I was hoping for.” You admired his smile, how beautiful it looked on his lips, and you wished it could stay there forever. “Keep going,” he encouraged. You reached in the bag, pulling out a small box. You eyed it wearily, slowly opening it. Inside held a ring with a small ruby gemstone. “It’s not anything serious.” He said, quickly. “I just saw it when we were shopping around, it reminded me of you.”

“Nothing serious, eh?” You teased. “Looks pretty serious to me.” You pulled it out, inspecting it closer. It was dainty, but beautiful beyond its simplicity. “This looks expensive, Jake.” You scolded, the humour disappearing from your voice.

“I don’t care about that. I care if you like it, though, or if it’s too much.”

“No, I do like it. It’s beautiful,” you sighed. “I just feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad.” He dismissed you. “I wanted to get it for you. It’s not even close to what you deserve.” Your stomach fluttered with adoration for him. “And this isn’t a proposal, or anything, obviously.” He explained. “Although, hopefully someday.” He muttered, but you caught it. You smiled to yourself, still coming to terms with the fact that he was really serious about you. “It’s just something pretty for someone even prettier.” His boyish charm always made you swoon, mostly because you’d never been with someone who courted you like he did. “I don’t know if you like ruby, but it reminded me of the lipstick you wore that night at the bar. Also, in the song you were singing…” he trailed off, but you knew the lyric he was referring to. “Seriously, you can pawn it and kick me out if I overstepped. I just thought you deserved something nice for such a big accomplishment.”

“You’re trying to get me to fall in love with you, aren’t you?” The humorous accusatory statement lightened the mood.

“Yeah, kind of. You’re way behind if you’re just realizing that, now.” He laughed. “There’s something else in there, too.”

“Jake,” you sighed, feeling terrible about the cost of his gift.

“Hey,” he warned “this one is for both of us, so don’t feel bad.” You gave a small nod, pulling out the last thing in the bag. It was a small envelope with your nickname written on the front. You gently lifted the paper flap from the glue, careful not to damage the card inside. You pulled it out, smiling at the design on the front of it. “It was hard to find a card that says for my ‘not-quite my girlfriend, even though I really want her to be, but I’m too scared to ask.’ I figured that one was suitable.” He used his fingers to quote some of his words. You got a laugh out of it, but the nervousness was creeping back in.

“Is that your way of asking me?” Your voice was soft, genuinely inquiring about it. He didn’t respond right away, but he did study your face for a moment, trying to see if that’s what you wanted.

“Depends on your answer.” He replied, voice so quiet you could barely hear him. You didn’t respond right away, thinking heavily about the situation, wondering how you’d gotten here. You swore off dating, promising yourself that school would come first and that you didn’t have time for any drama or heartbreak. But he was different. He was unlike anyone you’d ever fallen for, and he always put you first. Even in the stress of the last few weeks, his main priority was you getting your schoolwork done. You felt like he’d been cheering you on more than you did yourself. You were scared beyond measure, but the more you thought about it, the idea of being his girlfriend was more of a comfort rather than a fear.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I think that would be okay. I mean, we’re pretty much dating, anyway. Just without a label.” His eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning, wasting no time before leaning in to kiss you again. This one was short, but filled with sweetness and let you know that he was over the moon that you said yes. When he pulled back, he eyes the card as if to tell you to open it. You did so, immediately noticing a paper inside of it. You pushed it to the side without looking, wanting more than anything to see what he wrote.

Meet me in Atlanta and let me take you across the world with me xx - your rockstar

You grabbed the paper that was resting in the card, picking it up to take a look at it. Your stomach dropped at the sight. It was a plane ticket to Atlanta, the date plastered on it was for three weeks in the future. You looked up at him, seeing a hopeful look in his eye. “You don’t have to stay with us all summer, maybe just for a little while. I want you to be in my life, and this is a huge part of it. I want you to be a part of it, too.” You weren’t sure how to respond. It was a huge commitment, leaving home to be with him. There was no doubt you wanted to, but that same fear from before was creeping back in. For something so new, it just seemed to be happing very fast. “You don’t have to answer me yet, you can think about it, first. It’s an invitation, more than anything. Not a demand.”

“Wow,” Was all you could muster out. He was fidgeting with his hands, nervous about what you would say. “I would love to, Jake. It’s just… money, and time, and I’m scared, I think.” You explained.

“Don’t worry about money.” He said. You rolled your eyes, unable to hold the expression back.

“Obviously I’m going to worry about it, Jake. You’re my boyfriend, my very new boyfriend, at that. I don’t want you to have to pay my way for anything.” You sighed.

“I want you there, okay? Even if it’s just for a day. I promised you I’d take you around the world with me, didn’t I?” He cracked a small smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I still have to work, though. I have an internship this summer.”

“It’s virtual, isn’t it?” He asked. You were surprised he remembered.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “All that aside, what if you decide you don’t want me there anymore?” A humourless laugh fell from your mouth.

“That will never happen.” He guaranteed you. “I know you’re nervous, and it’s okay, but I want you. I’ve been certain about that since the day I met you.” He said, index finger lifting your chin so you would look up at him. “Even if you just come to our show, then you can decide from there. If you don’t want to, no hard feelings. I’ll still call you every night and tell you how much I miss you.” You smiled at his words, finally giving a nod. “I don’t want to go this long without seeing you again.” He admitted.

“Me either.” You said, placing the ticket back in the card. You placed all of the items back in the bag, with the exception of the ring, which you slipped on your middle finger. It fit perfectly. “If you’re sure about this, I’ll come with you, rockstar. At least for a few days.” His heart leapt with excitement, a grin appearing on his lips.

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.” He promised. You met his eyes again, curious as to why every time you looked at him all of the anxiety seemed to melt away.

“Thank you, Jake. For everything. For the gifts, for showing up… for caring about me.” You mumbled the last part, feeling stupid for saying it.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” He whispered.

“How long do have you for, rockstar?” You asked, a mischievous smile creeping up on you.

“Three days.” He said, taking the bag from you and placing it on the floor. He pulled you closer to him, noses practically touching, now.

“I guess we’ll have to make them count, then.” You told him. He let out a small chuckle.

“I guess so, witchy woman.”

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye

[tryhardgwen]

hi gwen!

tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!

anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!

ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:

kim suhwan vs. the world

all my love

the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)

don’t blame me

pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶‍🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.

ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.

next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.

next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)

okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.

lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.

so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)

now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.

anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!

[boncottontail]

Hello, i found acas a few days ago and absolutely fell in love with the universe you created, despite keeping up with qsmp since the brazilians arrived i had never read any fics until last month (tbh i was worried about the kind of content id find but thankfully ive had only good experiences so far) and yours is for sure one of my favorites, so id like to thank you for making it available for us and as a sidenote i appreciate you taking the time to rewrite the parts where F was in the first place. I was only aware Thor wasnt Etoiles since the start because i would find his name randomly while reading and assumed you didnt erase it while editing lol despite not knowing how the og text was i have to say i loved Etoiles characterization and you did a great job with the adaptation (btw i saw you plan to rewrite some more due to... recent events, i will gladly wait for it and reread from the start once you do it, im sure however you plan to adapt will turn out good) thank you again \o maybe one day i might draw some fanart for it, we will see :,)

Hi meso!

I’m seriously gonna pull my hair out, I’ve gone through the entire nine chapters five times and icb i still missed a few mentions of F god damn it. (My computer is ass and I write and edit on my phone, so—) Thanks for the heads up, I’m gonna go through all the chaps again haha… *cries*

Thanks for appreciating Thor Etoiles! He’s just a silly guy with the most self deprecating humor :D

And yes, I plan to remove W from the fic completely, which means a major rewrite unfortunately (ElQ will take his place). I love ACAS and I won’t let a few rotten men ruin my story. If I’m going to have to go through 179k words to take him out, then so be it! I’d rather edit the entire story than platform a ped0 and an abuser :b

Thank you so much for reading and loving ACAS 🫶

[yanderu-deredere]

drawn.

★ they've just been so lonely, all by themselves in this abandoned little factory town. it's hard not to be attracted to someone so wonderful, so glittering and beautiful, someone like you

a/n: sorry i ended up not posting anything the past few days. ive been really struggling with chronic pain flare ups and general bullshit but you guys really encouraged me to come back! so here i am with the latest chapter of the cannibals!

minor changes with part three where i made it so that none of the friends come down to dinner hehehe wonder why? neway, you can go back and reread that if you'd like but it's not that big of a change.

finally, after teasing it for so long, it's the gore chapter ive been waiting for forever to write! with that said, please mind the warnings!

i feel like this got really long so i didn't really do as much as i wanted to... you'll see when u finish reading. if you think i should keep going, send a couple asks and maybe i'll write another extra chapter?

part one (hook.) ★ part two (line.) ★ part three (sink.) ★ extra (captive.) ★ part four (here) ★ part five (quartered.)

pairing: casimir fiala x reader x emmaline fiala word count: 3612

warning: gender neutral reader, mentions of throat knife violence, mentions of coroner's and mortician's equipment, descriptive head injuries, descriptive eye violence and gore, mentions of drugging someone nonconsensually, mentions of medical and recreational drug use

Casimir knew as soon as the white van pulled up into the factory town that his entire life would be completely turned around, that this group of rule breaking idiots would be different from the usual.

When he saw your cute little face peek out of the window, he knew exactly why.

Casimir always believed himself to be a man of science and he had explained away his fascination (or rather, attraction) to Emm by just acknowledging that the two of them were polar opposites and evolution simply made it so that human beings were attracted to their polar opposites.

Opposites attracted simply because it gave their offspring better survival chances.

But then, of course, you threw a wrench in all of that, didn't you? Because he knew nothing about you except that your entire face made his heart palpitate in his chest for no reason.

He didn't even know if your personality was good with his or if you would even irritate him with your small habits. But, still, he found his eyes attracted to you like a magnet to metal and he wanted more.

Emm felt exactly the same. Unlike Casimir, she believed in love at first sight. It's what she felt when she met Casimir after all.

She knew as soon as she saw the man that she wanted to ravish him and she knew as soon as she saw you that she wanted to ravish you too.

She loved Casimir; the two of them have been together for years now. The only reason they were able to enjoy those years together was because Emm followed those instincts of hers.

Emm wasn't going to let Casimir use his science mumbo-jumbo talk to get her out of keeping you.

Thankfully, the two of them were on the same page. They didn't even have to communicate verbally. They shared a look; Casimir from the road and Emm from her binoculars.

So, despite the rules that they'd agreed on (not to kill the people who weren't breaking the rules, to try and stay inconspicuous, to be polite and nice just in case), Casimir couldn't find it in himself to stop Emm from using a silenced gun and popping your friend's tire.

The both of them only felt more and more justified the longer they spent time with your friends.

They pretended to be polite but whispered about how weird Casimir was. They tried to take photos of Emm's burns (and you were the angel that prevented them from doing it). They even went so far as calling you a freak.

It made both of their blood boil. Emm's more than Casimir's but Casimir's head had always been more level headed.

So, really, the group dug their own graves.

The first one that had to go was that damn bimbo.

Casimir didn't like her at all. Chloe was it? She just didn't look at Emm the right way and don't even get him started on the whole 'taking a photo of Emm' business again.

Plus, she kept sneering at you and whispering about how stupid you were to her boyfriend.

So, when you went upstairs to go change right before helping Casimir out with cooking dinner, he went to work.

"Hey, by the way, you guys wouldn't mind it if Emm smoked a couple of joints, would you?" He mentioned off-handedly to the bimbo as he sharpened one of the knives at the kitchen counter.

His sleeves were pulled up to his elbows, his muscles flexing as he clenched and unclenched his fists, trying not to get annoyed.

It was odd since both he and Emm usually didn't let them last this long but, he supposed, for your sake, he would put up with the disrespect.

It just really got at his nerves that she was treating the entire place like it was hers, looking into their fridge like she owned the place. They said 'make yourselves at home' but that wasn't exactly what they meant.

The ditzy blonde didn't even have the decency to hide her emotions when she looked at him, all wide-eyed with wonder "Oh? You guys smoke?"

"Yeah, some strong medical stuff." Casimir shrugged as he kept his eyes on the smooth metal of the knife and the rough grey of the whetstone, his knuckles turning white as he gripped it harder and harder "You know, because of--"

"Oh, of that whole--" She finished for him, making a gagging sound from the back of her throat.

It took everything in him not to just run the knife in his hand through her face.

He could imagine how satisfying it would be. It would meet some resistance when going through her nasal cavity but the crunch of it as it met bone would feel so good.

Before he completely lost it, though, the sound of the other three idiots in the living room convinced him fully that he needed to keep it together.

This needed to be their cleanest kill yet.

Not just because the four of them were a big group but also because they needed to get away with killing three of them without letting you know.

"Yes, she smokes all of it downstairs in the basement." He nodded his head towards the main hall and he watched her face turn blank, her eyes obviously confused.

She definitely looked like she was turning an idea carefully in her head. Casimir wished she'd hurry it up since she still had the fridge open and it was using up electricity.

Then, as if he could literally see the lightbulb above her head, he saw her expression brighten. She closed the door and gave him a bright smile that grated even harder on his nerves before flouncing away.

Casimir glanced at the knife in his hands, giving her a few seconds, before rinsing it off and wiping it with a dish towel hanging on the oven handle.

Then, he sheathed the knife, grabbed a meat tenderizer, slipped it into his pocket and unfurled his sleeves. Of course, the other idiots paid him no mind. Probably just like they paid their friend no mind as she slipped past them.

They looked deep into a conversation about something, all their backs turned towards the main hallway.

The realistion that hit the bimbo was probably the fact that there was a door at the very end of the main hallway. Normally, people mistook it for a cupboard under the stairs.

Casimir could at least give her credit for being smart enough to realise that it was most likely the steps to the basement he had been talking about only seconds ago.

He quietly followed her down, locking the door behind him just in case.

Casimir was nothing if not careful.

He would've paid big bucks to have seen the look on her face when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

He saw the way her steps faltered (he was right behind her, after all) so he knew she must've been surprised. Plus, she gasped too, which seemed a bit much but she also seemed like the type to overdramatise.

It probably surprised her to see that it wasn't a wine cellar or a man cave in their basement but a clean and proper butcher's dream.

It was Casimir's hard work after all. Emm helped a little but she was a bit too messy to really take care of a lot of the detailed work. Instead, she helped weld things together and fix some things up.

Before the bimbo could turn around or freak out, of course, Casimir shut her up.

She crumpled like soggy paper when the meat tenderizer hit the back of her head.

The crack of it was so satisfying, honestly. The splatter of blood was less so but it still felt good to see the crater of gore in the back of that bitch's head.

Surprisingly, he could see a brain in there.

As he watched her crawl on her hands and knees, trying desperately to get away, Casimir tested the hammer in his hand and frowned.

He wasn't usually one to use such bulky tools. Though the sound of it was music to his ears, the feel of it wasn't right. It really was better to stick to knives and the like. Leave the more brutalizing ones to Emm.

Before the little worm could get too far, he stepped forward, accidentally stepping on her ankle as he scooped her up, his arm wrapping around her torso and his free hand gripping her chin, his fingers digging into her cheeks.

He lifted her easily enough, despite the fact that she was so top heavy.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't get a lot of breast meat from this one since it was probably all plastic but he'd need to get rid of her regardless.

"Now, what are you doing here?" He whispered against her temple, relishing a little bit in the way she struggled against him, her well manicured nails trying to claw at his clothed sleeves.

She was barely making sense before he'd whacked her with the meat tenderizer but, now, her voice was slurred and stuttering beyond recognition.

She was concussed then. He would've been more surprised if she hadn't become concussed. In fact, he had to give her credit. That blow would've knocked most normal people unconscious.

Maybe she was particularly hard-headed?

In any case, her blabbering was entertaining at first but then it eventually got too annoying.

With barely any care at all and completely ignoring the way her feet dragged on the cold concrete, Casimir brought her over to his special autopsy table and plopped her down.

It was his own invention; not exactly his life's work but certainly one if his more brilliant ideas.

It wasn't entirely made from scratch, of course. He built it off of a second-hand autopsy table but he made it tilt one way so that the blood would pool better. He liked collecting it in case he wanted to use it for blood sausage or something.

He also added some restraints for the really shitty visitors that really pissed them off. Sometimes, the couple really liked to take their time with their kills, really carve them up, slice and dice them and hear them scream--

Plus, sometimes, Emm liked putting him in there too and he could be a little too wiggly for her tastes.

In any case, when he slammed her down on the cold metal table, Casimir couldn't say he was taking the usual care with her.

She was sprawled across the cold metal, her body locked into the restraints with a little distain, even his initial incision of her jugular was sloppy at best.

He didn't have any respect for people like her who couldn't even take care of people like you. You had trusted her with your friendship and she betrayed you. She didn't deserve any kindness from him.

She couldn't complain anyway.

Mostly because she was finally knocked out cold.

Anyway, Casimir left her down there. If she bled to death, good for her. If she were still alive when he got back down there?

Well, he wouldn't enjoy her screams in the usual way but he'd definitely get some sort of sadistic glee out of them.

He'd flay her skin open, watch her muscles twitch as she struggled to move away, see the life ebb out of her; he'd make sure that every single thing you'd suffered through, she'd feel but a hundred times worse.

Hopefully, enough, she'd be alive.

Before he left, of course, he had to wash the stupid meat tenderizer. Surprisingly enough, fragments of her skull stuck to the spikes of it and chunks of her scalp clung to the metal.

Then, he obsessively cleaned the blood splatter off the walls, taking care to wash himself and any wash cloths he used with the sink in the room.

It was easy enough to wash everything since the entire basement was made like an embalming room; the floor sloped slightly to the middle where there was a drain.

Lastly, he changed his clothes because he got a little messy in his anger-- No, irritation. He didn't want to accredit such a strong emotion to such an insignificant ant.

He and Emm kept spare clothes down in the basement just for situations like this.

Honestly, the entire thing was so easy that it disappointed Casimir. He had hoped the blonde idiot would've struggled a little bit more, at the very least.

Maybe the others would prove to be a challenge.

Speaking of the others, Casimir knew that the boyfriend would notice the fact that his girlfriend was missing the fastest.

Unless, of course, he was a piece of shit too.

So, Casimir's next objective was to get rid of him.

The very last thing he did before he left the basement was he grabbed a little baggy of weed. It was a specific one they used to drug some of their more troublesome victims.

Seeing as his girlfriend was interested, it was possible that the boyfriend would've been interested too.

The drug wasn't anything deadly. Just something to help them get a... better high. Which didn't just distract them but it also affected their short-term memory and their attention span.

Casimir just had to make sure that he mentioned where his girlfriend could be before the dumb idiot started smoking the stuff.

Finally, when Casimir emerged from the basement, he was met with the boyfriend. He kept saying 'the boyfriend' in his head but, truly, it was because he didn't recall what his name was. Dick? Rick? Something along those lines.

Casimir would mentally refer to him as Dick just because that's what the guy was.

Hell, even the one thing Casimir knew him for (being that bimbo's boyfriend) he couldn't do properly.

When the ditz wasn't paying attention, Dick? complained about how annoying his girlfriend was, about how much of a drag she was, how he was tired of her.

It was a surprise to Casimir since he had pretty much been singing her sonnets since he first met them when she was around to hear his compliments.

Though, it made sense when Casimir noticed the sleeze bag's eyes always seemed to be glued to her chest.

It just showed how two faced this entire group was, Casimir supposed.

"Hey, did you see where Chloe went?" Dick? asked, looking suspiciously at the door behind Casimir and then suspiciously at Casimir himself.

Casimir doubted it was because the idiot thought he killed his girlfriend, though. The man didn't look that smart.

"She mentioned she had a migraine? I think she might have gone to her room." Casimir looked towards the stairs before glancing to the front door "Or maybe she went outside for some fresh air? I don't exactly recall what she said."

The boyfriend clicked his tongue but, before he could leave, Casimir placed a hand on his forearm "By the way, she mentioned she takes medical marijuana for her migraines so I mentioned to her that my wife took some too, for her burns?"

When the guy turned back to look at Casimir, arrogant confused expression on his face, it took everything in Casimir not knock the living daylights out of the guy.

He bet he could make the same crater in this guy's head as he did in this guy's girlfriend's head with just his fist.

"She ran out and asked me for some. Emm had some extra so I figured--" Casimir shrugged and then held up the little baggy with the drugged weed "She told me to ask you to pay for it but, between you and me, it's honestly fine."

"My wife goes through so much pain, I can't even imagine--" Before Casimir could finish, the idiot snatched the baggy up and nodded quickly, that confused expression completely taken over by his arrogance.

"Of course! I'll make sure to get it to her!" Dick-head looked like it took everything in him not to cackle at Casimir.

And it took even more in Casimir not to choke the man.

Before he could be further tempted, Casimir just gave a curt nod and left for the kitchen.

He rolled his sleeves up and went to get ready for you to come downstairs.

It was a shame you had a change of clothes. He had an odd highly illogical fantasy of you borrowing clothes from them, maybe something of Emm's or of his, and then decending down the stairs.

He could imagine you, looking so breathtakingly theirs.

It didn't make sense to Casimir but he supposed his love for you didn't make any sense in the first place either. He would just have to keep you by his side and study you.

"Did you go shopping?" Emm suddenly appeared at his side as he got out cling-wrapped meat from the freezer above the refrigerator, her arm brushing against his waist.

Did you deal with one of them?

She was probably asking because she passed by the living room and noticed that there were only three of them.

"Yes, I did. But that meat is for next week." He pressed a kiss to her cheek, smirk playing on his lips as he closed the freezer door and opened the fridge "We're having the meat I bought last week. It will go bad if we don't have it now."

Yes, she's downstairs. I haven't cut her up into pieces yet. We're having that couple we killed from last week, the ones that tried to break into the factory to steal spare parts.

"You wan' me to take care of next weeks shopping since you've taken care of this weeks?" Emm tried not to grin too widely, excited by the victims that her husband had left for her.

"I mean, I have plans for next weeks shopping but, if the opportunity arises..." Casimir sighed like he was tired of the way Emm always seemed to go off script but, in reality, he was glad she always seemed to enjoy herself.

It was evident by the way that smirk on his face didn't even waver.

"I dun' know what I'd do without such a dedicated house-husband." Emm teased, mirroring Casimir's smirk as she cupped the side of his face and pressed her own kiss against his temple.

Casimir took the ingredients out one by one, bundling them into his arms "And dessert?"

The fourth one. The one best saved for last. That was, of course, you.

"We def'nitely have room for dessert." Emm pulled back enough to look Casimir in the eye and he knew that, from the expression on her face, she would take no arguments.

We're keeping them.

Casimir didn't want to argue with that. From looking at his face, Emm saw that.

"Good because dessert is the caramel flan I made last night." Casimir chuckled almost breathily as he finally pushed away from his wife and brought the food to the kitchen counter.

That one wasn't code at all but an honest fact. It took everything in Casimir to convince Emm not to scarf the six tins he made last night in one sitting.

"I'll jus' go move my bike into the garage." Emm sighed, her expression morphing to one of boredom as she stretched a little.

She didn't like the idea of having to go out into the rain but, if she left the bike just parked there, there was a possibility that it would rust.

It was just hard to go outside, to leave the house really, when you were inside, so close yet so far away. Emm had never felt so pained and lazy before until you.

Then, to make matters worse, while Casimir was getting the ingredients ready for dinner and Emm was putting on her work boots, that stupid boyfriend tried his moves on her.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem high at all.

Had he not smoked it yet? Casimir hadn't smelt anything so, perhaps, he was saving it for later?

Either way, it was stupid to flirt with Emm right there, where Casimir could obviously see them. Normally, Casimir would've lost it but he needed the night to be perfect so he figured he'd let Emm handle it.

"You goin' somewhere, gorgeous?" The idiot leaned against the wall, sleezy expression on his face as he eyed her up and down.

Emm tried her best not to sigh too loudly or even groan like she wanted to. Instead, she tied her boots and smiled politely at him "Yeah, jus' need't park my bike in the garage."

"Oh, you know, I know a lot about motorcycles." The guy didn't even wait to hear what Emm would say before he was putting his shoes on "Let me go with you."

At first, Emm's fist clenched and she felt her entire body tense. But then, she realised how good of an opportunity it was. She'd be able to get him alone.

So, she forced another smile onto her face as she nodded "Sure!"

"You know, my dad owns like five Harleys." He bragged as he stepped out of the house, that same smug look on his face as he walked with his hands in his pockets.

Emm wanted so badly to trip him into a puddle but, instead, she crossed her arms under her breasts and nodded, trying her best to look interested "Oh, I have a Harley in the garage."

"D-Do you?" The pervert didn't even disguise his staring "Why don't you show me that first? I can help you with your motorbike after."

Moron.

"Sure." Emm lead the way through a side door, letting them into the garage without triggering the loud garage door.

It was dark and, even when Emm pulled the string for the florescent lights, the entire room was still dimly lit.

The garage was kind of Emm's domain but she wasn't exactly proud of it. After all, though she could be a real genius when putting parts together, organisation wasn't her specialty.

Casimir had to come down every month or so and fix the place up for her. Even then, the entire place always ended up looking like a tornado went through in a week.

Basically, the clean look never lasted.

"Damn, you should tell your husband to clean up in here." The moron laughed as he stepped over some steel bars.

Emm tried not to cringe "Oh, Cas don't really come in here. The mess's mine."

"Yours?" He said, as if saying 'but you're a girl' and it wasn't the last straw for Emm but it was damn close to it.

She looked around, trying to see if there was anything fun to kill this guy with or if she'd have to go old fashioned and just fuck his head up with a wrench.

She knew she couldn't make too much noise, though, so no chainsaw or anything too fun. Even if splattering his guts everywhere would've been worth the clean-up.

"Sure, let's go with that then." The guy laughed one more time before caging Emm against one of the various shelves in the garage, his disgusting breath damp and putrid against her ear

Emm couldn't take it anymore. She grasped at something with her hand; it was smooth against her palm, dusty, something with metal and plastic.

Her arm was swinging before her brain could even connect the dots as to what it was.

The guy fell onto his back, screaming profanities as he clutched one of his eyes "You fucking bitch!"

Emm just straddled his chest, that grin she'd been suppressing for so long finally stretching out onto her face.

She looked down at her hand and noticed that she had grabbed a spare motorcycle headlight.

When she had swung, the entire thing had been a blur so she hadn't really seen what she had done to him. Even now, she couldn't see because he was covering it.

But the screw end of the motorcycle headlight was covered in blood and the ripped apart flesh of an eyeball. She could make out the veins against the whites, the chunks of it clinging to the grooves of the metal part.

It filled her with a rush to know that she'd jammed the entire thing in there in one try.

To prevent him from screaming any more, she grabbed his wrist and stuffed it into his mouth, essentially making him pretty much choke on his own flesh. Then, she saw a peek of it.

He was still trying to dig the heel of his palm there, as if putting it there would stop the bleeding. Which made sense, of course. But it definitely wouldn't make a difference.

In any case, when she had yanked his hand away, she saw that his eyeball was replaced with bloody indecipherable gore. There were torn parts of the whites of his eyes near the outsides but it didn't look like there was much of it.

She laughed and he continued to struggle, kicking and bucking, desperate to get her off.

"Oh, so you wan'o play with the bull but y'can't handle the horns?" Emm couldn't help but taunt him a little, relishing in the way his own teeth dug into his wrist as she pressed down on him harder.

Despite the fact that they were almost the same height, she was much stronger than him and holding him down wasn't even a contest.

Before long, though, the struggling and the gore started to bore her. She realised she'd gotten too messy and that she'd have to clean up before she could see you.

Which meant, of course, that it would take longer to go see you. Something that felt unacceptable in her eyes.

So, she bashed his face in with a motorcycle headlight. Over and over. Till his entire skull caved in. And the motorcycle headlight got crushed in her fist. Or till it got crushed against his skull?

Whichever one was stronger, she figured. Her palm would bruise but his head caved in so, she supposed, it was her fist?

It was unfortunate, really, but the anger had built up inside her and the way he had tried cheating on his girlfriend really rubbed Emm the wrong way.

It wasn't like they ever used the head or the brains for anything anyway.

Then, she wrapped his face with a towel she had lying around and she carried him to the basement using the back cellar doors.

If holding him down was pretty easy, this was a piece of cake. She just slung his arm around her shoulders and then wrapped her arm around his torso, holding him up entirely.

She would've fireman carried him but there wanted to stay as clean as possible so there was less clean up.

When she entered, Emm spotted his girlfriend and felt bad for her.

That feeling immediately vanished when Emm remembered how rude she was in the van, trying to take a picture of her like she was a freak or something.

The thing Emm really struggled with was putting him on the autopsy table. She always complained to Casimir about the things. She absolutely enjoyed the sausages he made and the soups too but it was so much work.

She had to put his upper body down first but, then, she did it wrong and accidentally hit his head against the edge. Not like he was still alive but it was still annoying.

Emm had to try again and then a third time. Finally, the third time worked but then she had to get his legs up which wasn't that much of a struggle but it was still time she wasn't spending upstairs!

Where the two loves of her life was!

To make matters worse, as she was doing that, the stupid bimbo woke up and started struggling and stuttering and freaking out. She was crying up a storm, begging and pleading for her life and her boyfriend's life.

Like his entire face wasn't caved in and bloody already?

Emm just left her be and went to go wash her own face, hide the idiots' things, lock one of the guest doors and change her own clothes again.

Hopefully, the bimbo would just tire herself and bleed out.

"You okay, my love?" Casimir cupped her cheeks, pressing their foreheads together.

Emm just sighed and rolled her eye before nodding her head "Jus'... wanted to ask you 'bout somethin'."

Casimir smirked at that and pressed a kiss to Emm's lips before continuing what he was doing with prepping ingredients "What is it, my love?"

"I d'no if I was p'ck'n up what you were puttin' down before." Emm crossed her arms and leaned her back against the kitchen counter "But you... you think they're real pr'tty too, right?"

Casimir felt his ears get just a little bit hot but, of course, he quickly nodded because he never hid anything from his wife "We'd of course have to get rid of the nuisances but..."

Emm quickly nodded and hugged Casimir from behind, pressing a kiss to the back of his ear "I love 'em so much and I don' know why but I just--"

"I know, dear, calm down." Casimir laughed a bit breathily, trying to keep an understanding expression on his face as he smiled at his rather nervous and bashful wife.

The two of them had been with each other long enough that they could have discreet conversations without having other people know about what they were truly talking about.

For Emm to outright ask him these questions, she must've been really concerned about this. So, of course, he wanted to reassure her as best as he could.

"I'm very interested in them as well. Don't worry." He sliced into the middle of a bell pepper with precision, his ears feeling a little hot from his confession.

Casimir wasn't the best at confessing his feelings but, still, he wanted to make his intentions clear to his wife so she wouldn't be so insecure.

"Y'think they'd go for it?" Emm bit her lip a little, frown gracing her lips as she tightened her hold on her husband "Go f'r me?"

"My dear, you are a mighty fine specimen of a woman. If they don't go for you, well..." Casimir thought on the plethora of drugs he had in the basement and smiled, his finger tracing the silver sheen of the knife in his hand "I have a plan for that."

"You an' your plans." Emm huffed, her breath ruffling Casimir's locks a little bit.

Casimir just laughed again, all airy and soft, before shrugging her off and returning to slicing and dicing the peppers for the steak dinner he was making "Why don't you go and fix the garage? I know you were in a hurry and you didn't clean up after yourself."

Emm groaned, burying her face into her husband's neck. He reached behind her and, for a second, she thought he'd comfort her somehow. Instead, he thread his fingers into his hair and gave a hard yank, pulling her head up so that her ear was right next to his lips.

"You know how I feel about messes right, my dear?" Emm couldn't properly see Casimir's expression but she could imagine what it was: that wide sadistic smirk he always had when people tested him or when something interested him a bit too much

So, she huffed and rolled her eyes "Fine, fine."

Casimir let go easily enough and she unravelled her arms from around his torso, pulling away from him but not before pressing a kiss against his cheek.

She'd go clean up as fast as she could and then, maybe, she'd go join you and Casimir in preparing dinner.

Casimir watched as Emm left to go deal with her mess, a fond smile on his face.

Unfortunately, the peace was interrupted when he was shoved from the side by that one guy who loved tormenting you.

He remembered this guy's name purely because he hated him so much: Bran. Like the cereal. What an idiot.

Casimir had heard the footsteps so he hadn't been surprised by the shove but he hadn't exactly braced himself either so, when he was pushed against the counter, the knife clattered out of his hand.

It didn't matter. If needed, Casimir had other things he could kill this douche bag with.

Hopefully, he wouldn't have to. Casimir was hoping to bleed this one out and torture him slowly.

Casimir and Emm both noticed the way Bran had stared after you, looking at you like you were an object to be lusted after, like you belonged to Bran, all while he already had a girlfriend.

It definitely disgusted Casimir and he knew that cheating was a sore subject for Emm.

"The fuck are you two talking about?" Bran tried to sound as menacing as possible.

"Nothing." Casimir just smirked as he turned to face the asshole, hoping this man would give him any reason at all to humiliate him "Can I help you?"

"I'm fucking on to you." Bran spat out which, of course, made Casimir feel especially disgusted. "You and your fucking freak wife."

Casimir felt a little bit of his sanity snap when Bran said that specific phrase but he knew he had to hold back "On to me about what exactly?"

"I don't know." The question made Bran back off and the admission made Casimir smirk mockingly at him.

Bran looked like he was about to punch Casimir in the face but, before he could, Casimir took him by the wrist and straightened himself so that he was easily taller than Bran.

"We have helped you, we have sheltered you and we are now about to feed you. I will not have you disrespect me in my own home." Casimir smirked from ear to ear, his eyes boring into Bran's "So, tell me what your problem is with your words, like an adult, or get the hell out of my face."

Casimir could at least give credit to the man: he was fearless. Bran didn't back down. "They're mine."

"Your girlfriend?" Casimir played innocent, all the while his grip on Bran's wrist tightened to the point of being unbearable.

He could see it in Bran's face; the man was wincing and flinching away but the feeble tugs he tried to make were no match for Casimir's grasp.

Still, stubbornly, Bran continued "You know who I'm talking about."

Casimir finally let go "I am quite sure I do not. In any case, neither my wife nor I have any interest in your girlfriend."

"Where is she anyway?" Casimir added, dusting himself off and wiping Bran's spittle off of his skin.

"She's high right now so she's in Chloe and Dirk's room." Bran growled, still as aggressive as before but unable to make a move against Casimir since he was cradling his wrist "Once Chloe and Dirk get back, we're fucking out of here."

"Have fun driving with three wheels." Casimir just turned back to the food, not at all worried about the idiot behind him.

Oh, but Casimir definitely stored this entire event in his mind, knowing for a fact that he'd get his revenge later.

Bran didn't respond but he could hear the moron's thumping steps as he ran up the stairs and slammed one of the doors.

After your dinner with the two them, Casimir watched as you excused yourself and went outside.

Emm looked worried but Casimir didn't have a single doubt in his mind. His plans were absolute and he wouldn't let you escape. He had planned for every single eventuality and he would make sure you were theirs.

"Wait a few minutes before going after her." He said instead, pressing a kiss against her forehead as he started putting the dishes away.

"What about you?" She glanced at him warily.

Casimir simply picked up one of the sheathed knives with a bored expression on his face "I think the other two got high so I better just chloroform them and bring them downstairs."

Emm seemed satisfied by that because she grinned, laughing at Casimir's expression "What kind'a fucked up freaks are we that we get both'red when the killin's all borin'?"

Casimir just clipped the leather knife sheath to his belt loop and stepped towards his wife, kissing her chastely on the lips "Why, my dearest, the best kind, of course."

[stellawolfearts]

Aight it's been a long hit minute since I sent ya anything (hi hello bye the bye)

Top five favorite facts/bits of lore/ HCs (can be yours or others head canons) of nezha 😁

hihihiiiiiii

ooooh top five facts/bits of lore/ HCs about Nezha. this is gonna be fun~

Powers

youd never guess. but when i first watched through LMK i didnt care for Nezha. not rlly. I always thought he was cool and had a nice design but I didnt really care much for him. But i ALWAYS thought his powers and abilitys were so cool. maybe its my bias for pink characters and powers (i also have a bias for blue) but when i needed a character to do some fighting in my fic i snatched Nezha. and ever since i started writing him i couldnt stop. So honestly i gotta put his cool lookin powers as #1 since its what initially hooked me onto his character. both canon and other power HC's i have.

2. His personality PSA: Im not saying any of this is canon. these are my headcanons.

I love canon Nezha dont get me wrong, but im a little biased to my headcanons. well- more then a little XP. I ADORE sassy traumatized fucked up little guys. LMK Nezha is already sassy as hell, as he should be. he's soooooo traumatized if you read into his mythology. and he's also so POWERFUL.

it's just something about characters who are mainly known for being powerful and unstoppable. a force to be reckoned with. but eventually it's revealed this 'unstopable persona' is actually just a mask they've built. They are no doubt very powerful. but one of the reasons people are so scared of them is bc they've built the reputation so no one hurts them anymore. Nearly always on the defensive and holding their emotions inside so thy don't get hurt anymore. But like we saw in the s3 special with MK can still be gentle and kind.

not only that, but needs that kind of kindness and acceptance in his life. Needs a family that will accept all aspects of him. The good and the bad.

TS Nezha is a hurt kid. Traumatized and honestly kinda lonely. Because there's very few people that know the real him. Even if he trusts other people, there's no guarantee that they will accept the real him without the mask he's created. Kin moment.

that and the fact its very easy to shove him into a found family.

also Autism representation in my HC's. I'm Autistic, and some of his traits are just me projecting my Autism onto him.

3. His white hair.

My favorite lore bit about Nezha is not something a lot of people know about him. In the translation of Investiture of the Gods I own it says he was born with white hair.

Chapter 12 - The birth of Nezha

However, as Yin had a strange dream one night, she suddenly gave birth to this strange child the following morning. With maidens rushing about saying that a demon was present in Yin's chambers, Li Jing immediately rushed forth into her room and cleaved in two a strange fleshy ball that rolled to and fro across the floor. Within the ball emerged a small young child with hair as white as snow with a gleaming golden bracelet on his right wrist.

I have implemented this in my Tangled Star AU but how is spoilers >:3

all im saying is TSNezha and TSMac have something in common~ but thats already saying too much >:3

4. His Design Theres a reason ive only minorly changed his design in my headcanons. Overall i ADORE it. Again im probably biased because of all the pink but I love characters like him. He's got some traditionaly feminine design choices. at least traditionally in the west (Pink, Long hair, the bottom of his armor looks like a skirt). It's very gender. and he's just cute overall. his design is so much fun to draw and my version is even more fun.

Honestly. The guys got my gender. Masc, but confident in wearing some feminine things. He just seems like the kind of guy who'd like wearing dresses and keeping his hair long, but still masc nonetheless. Breaking gender norms as he should.

5. His dynamics with other characters.

I love writing him interacting with other characters. He just clashes so well with the other characters when i write him in my AU's. both positively and negatively. I love writing him in angst, i love writing him in fluff. I just. love putting this guy into situations XD.

his relationship with his found family in tangled star is SO MUCH FUN to write. traumatized little guy who trusts no one but the people he's closest with. and even they are still getting him to open up.

thats...honestly the best way i can describe my top five things about nezha. its hard to explain why i like him and i was just tempted to write

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo.

So be happy you got that much out of me. sorry it got so long but once i start ranting i cant stop. XD

[your-favorite-bean]

Fic Recs

UMBRELLA ACADEMY

(Most are five-centric. Gee I wonder who my favorite character is)

Also some quick notes about these:

As I said before, these are basically five centric. I do however read a lot of other stuff for other characters that I’m willing to share, so ask and ye shall receive!!! That being said, I don’t read a lot of oc fics and character x reader, so I don’t have a lot of recommendations for that.

Many of these fics were written before season three, before Viktor’s transition, which means that his deadname will be used. If you don’t want to read it, that’s totally okay, but just a forewarning!!!

Most of these fics have some dark and mature themes. And it may not seem like a serious thing, but sometimes you need to take a break from that kind of thing. This goes for any piece of media really that deals with these kinds of things. It doesn’t make you less of a person for taking care of yourself. There is no pressure to finish any of these or to even click on it. So if you read the tags (which you always should), and you think it’s not something that would be good for your mental health, don’t be afraid to tap out.

Oh and some of These have word counts but I got tired so I only did some. So pretty much All of these are multi chapter fics

Again major credit to these writers. Thank you for sharing your stories with us!!! I’m so proud of all of you guys!!! Happy Reading!!!

echoes by chiiyo86 | set in season two, allison finds Five in the alleyway and they have a lovely dynamic. Also rays there and he’s cool.

Get your hands dirty by conch_shell | outsider pov, lots of comic book elements in it, mostly about fives time in the commission

Lay all your love on me by MYSTERYstew | lots of hurt/comfort, time doesn’t heal all wounds (see what I did there??)

I kept running (for a soft place to fall) by chromaticality | Five, Allison, and Luther get kidnapped from the commission

Ive got a nasty new compulsion by chaoticgaysex | Diego gets recruited by the commission. Five has some words to say about that. Comic elements

It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine) by chaoticgaysex | Five has a breakdown, and he snaps big time. If you want to see more about fives powers, check it out

Run (because you know you cannot hide) by e_va | fives family gets kidnapped by the commission. what ever will he do (rescue his family of course, it’s five come on) also this is incomplete (at least I think it Is I don’t fucking know anymore words are hard)

Defective weaponry by printlno | five and Klaus track down a bad guy, but it doesn’t go as well as planned. Also this is based on the comics, not the show. The characters will only make sense if you’ve read the comics (well they’ll make sense, but they might seem a bit ooc sometimes)

I’ve come to talk with you again by in-a-slanted-outhouse | incomplete, but it’s really good. lots of five and Allison bonding. super sweet

All walls fall by I_Logophile | five gets kidnapped by the sparrows, and it does not end well for him. Also this is the first in a series called his walls

Ashes and Dust by Devilbaby | I honestly can’t say too much because there is so much wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff that I don’t want to give away but it’s really well done. It’s in a series called the chronos saga and I would totally recommend the whole series but the third (and final) part is incomplete

The Secret inside of you (run boy run) by Utukki | Reginald knows what Five is capable of. And he can never let him reach that potential. So he outs in a little safety measure. Incomplete

But for now it’s time to run by Ford_Ye_Fiji | ever wondered what would happens if The Doctor and number five from umbrella academy met? Boom. Here’s the fic. There’s also some plot and a whole series too, called run, boy, run, (the umbrella effect)

So be it by bobee | a series of unfortunate events, starring five. lots of hurt, but it is incomplete so there’s not a lot of comfort yet

Howling at the moon by assaily | five gets sent to Hotel Oblivion, and has to confront his inner demons. This is a great fic for those who were kind of disappointed by the hotel oblivion storyline (like myself) but it is incomplete

Intelligent conversation by Soulykins | five has a habit of talking to himself. Might have something to do with, gee I dunno 45 years in the apocalypse. This is the first in a series called old dog, old tricks and the whole series is really good if you want five angst and sibling bonding.

This is a gift, it comes with a price by rebel_by_default | set in season two, where time travel has even more consequences than in canon oh also this is a series called a beast of a burden

Monster that I despise by pinetreedeath | comic book elements, which I feel like is just code for serial killer DNA at this point (oh yeah that’s basically what it’s about). Really cool how the author writes it, however, incomplete

TUA one shots I write at 3am by pinetreedeath | they have different plots for each one but each one is incredible. You’ve got feral five, you’ve got soft five. Any five you want just pick a chapter and you’ll have it (jeez I feel like a salesman or something) also incomplete

Dealing with doppelgängers by I_Logophile | we’ve all made our assumptions about five if he didn’t get adopted by Reginald and lived a relatively normal life. Well this author wrote about it!! A round of applause. also WHUMP

The boy of Time: Come Home by JBD302020

uneasy lies the head that wears the crown by MYSTERYstew

Can you hug me as I go? by MYSTERYstew | the inevitable moment where five has to confront with the fact that he is not doing okay. angst angst angst. However incomplete

Time is a storm by Shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy | Five gets kidnapped by the sparrows, and the siblings try to rescue him, but Reginald puts a big old wrench in their plans (I am so sorry I am terrible at short summaries). Really, really good, but incomplete and there’s a major cliffhanger

The five whistle by I_Logophile | the handler sucks, we all know that, but what if she sucked just a bit more? Five whump to the max .

Here, beneath my lungs by beastboy12 | five tries to play detective, but curiosity killed the cat, or at least inflicted a lot of pain that made the cat wish it were dead. Klaus, Diego, and Five bonding

Warming up by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden) | if an assassin and the assassin who killed the first assassins parents got stuck in a freezer with the chance of death, what are they going to do? Bond of course!!

You can always come home by Wayward_Unicorn (42k words) | five doesn’t exist. He never has. Or is that really all there is too it? Incomplete

A closure problem by sandausdenurnen (21.9k words) | okay this is honestly hands down such a good crossover, and I don’t give that title away easily. The dynamic between Tony stark and number five (oh yeah that’s the crossover) is so good, so if you want two traumatized geniuses snarking at each other, this is perfect!!! Incomplete

Identity theft is not a joke by Ford_ye_Fiji (1.5k words) | ahhh the classic who’s the clone and who’s the real character. except fives siblings are (affectionately) idiots so it doesn’t go so well

About a boy by pistachioinfernal (25k words) | Russian gangster meets rude boy. Russian gangster feels bad for rude boy. Russian gangster bonds with rude boy. Boy is still rude this whole time | Also part of a series called Russian swears and coffee spoons (28k words) | the second and final part is incomplete

The moon laughs by Lady_Origami (96k words) | a trope we all know and love, time loop. This is great | incomplete | This is also the second part in a series called the sky weeps (106k words). The first one isn’t really related to the second one, but it’s really sweet, Klaus, Ben, and Five bonding.

Creeping towards extinction by VIKAN (62k words) holy shit this one is so good like omg I’m in love with this. This is my favorite angst fic wow. Chefs kiss

The shifting mirrors by orsumfenix (192k words) | what if five never traveled to the future? Well you saw the other hargreeves, hes still an asshole. | incomplete

Holding it together by sharkneto (91k words) | actually inspired by shifting mirrors. And oh my god I loved reading every word of this | First of a series called shifting together (251k words). Series is incomplete but definitely worth the read!!!

How the fabrics of the universe will fuck you up by fandomsandshit (4K words) | this is sort of an AU where fives abilities go a little bit further than teleporting. This is such a cool take I wish that five had these powers in the show!!!

An eye for an eye by dgalerab (80k words) | really cool series, lots of twists and turns and angst and timelines (so many timelines) and it’s just really fun. Also season two and three do not exist | Part of a series called timelines 1-2.1 (250k words) | the last fic in the series is incomplete

This world is not made for you by umbrellas out (1719) (2k words) | okay I can’t exactly summaraize this but there is a lot 567 bonding so if you like that here you go!!! | Also part of a series called the boy who ran. Also there is a slight chance that none of these links work so if they don’t I apologize.

This one’s for the lonely, the ones who seek and find by hujwernoo (2k words) | Klaus dies in the apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be there for five | The First in a series called it comes and goes in Waves (258k words) which is INCREDIBLE so yeah Go and check it out

Sorrows like thunder clouds by Emotionally_Detached (7k words) | this is part of a series called mellow rays of the departing sun (24k words) |Five time travels to when they were Kids, but only hin. Now it’s up to him to change the past.

Time is what we Need but don’t have by Achlyz (21k words) | it’s really cute, makes me feel good by I also cried during this, but it’s mostly just family bonding with a hint of angst | Part of a series called dysfunctional family (225k words) |the final fic is incomplete

Faded by tenacioussurrender (35k words) | Lots of dad Diego, and hurt five, but it’s very Sweet and there’s a lot of wholesome pieces in it | part of a series called a ripple in time and space (145k words)

Bolt from the blue by TheArchaeologist (85k words) | this time it’s dad Klaus, and omg there is a lot of hurt but a lot of comfort, but then hurt again! That joke is Season one about Klaus Meeting fives mom at the Disco isn’t a joke anymore | Part of a series called apple of my eye (141k words), Part Four is incomplete but you can still read a lot of it.

Out of the dead land by tomorrowsrain (60k words) | five time travels to the apocalypse, but to spice it up, you have Zombies!!!! Oh and Klaus is there too, to add a dash of brotherly bonding and a whole lot of angst | incomplete

So you got to the bottom of the list, good for you!!! Treat your self, you deserve it. I’m proud of you.

Also (minor rant alert) this was HARD. Thank literally everything that I can use ao3 search filters because that was ahhhhhhhhh. Do you know how difficult it is to find a fic that you read 2 years ago and the only thing you can remember from it is the word pumpkin????? Like oh my god. Then I wrote all of this down and it mysteriously disappeared so I had to make a whole new list, which was very frustrating. But this was also fun so if you have any new requests, lmk!!!

Oh and another thing. You might’ve noticed that some of these authors names were repeated. Well turns out these incredible talented people have written a lot of other stuff, so don’t forget to explore the other stuff they’ve written. Check out the bookmarks, then check the bookmarks of those authors, and so on. Happy reading!!!

[shiteatinggrin]

hi so @sunshinemarauder tagged me to rec my five favourite fivs of mine, good thing is i've only written five yet!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39805371 wrote this one hen i was ridiculously in love with some guy who ended up being my bf it's lily's diary of pining for james for one whole summer and i just reread it now it was not half bad

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31418771 this was based on a prompt on tumblr, i have a thing for jily in the last year of their lives, here james is feeling down and his wife tries to do something about it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31347170 a jily office au i wanted to read it could not find it so wrote it myself i think it is really cute n jim n pam have a very special bond i wanted to try to recreate

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288415 this one is maybe my favourite one ive written because no matter how many times ive reread it ive never been ashamed of it and just wonder how i wrote it so yeah it makes me happy. lily reflecting on james when he dies in front of her (another jily in hiding)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315530/chapters/64078543 left my first one for last. i dont really know how she holds up but she was written with a lot of love and care. this is a 10 things i hate about you au and i reworked the plot a bit, it also has a bit of blackinnon and i think a wolfstar epilogue so i kinda changed my mind on sirius at some point. i mean even now i dont know where i stand. i think i just like both ships!

i've been thinking recently of writing something else, it's been a long time so i might be rusty but i was thinking of participating in the jilytoberfest, so watch out! maybe you'll see me with something new soon, i'll see with my muse

[bronskibeet]

isha @cosmicrhetoric has tagged me to share 9 book recs and after racking my brains I have finally come up with 9 things that ive read & think other people should read. details under the readmore

song of solomon by toni morrison: This is the first of her books that I read so while I'd recommend any of them this one is my favorite lol. it's the first novel she wrote with a male protagonist and iirc because of this she wrote it w the "hero's journey" monomyth more closely in mind. so it mainly follows the protagonist's upbringing in early 30s segregated michigan and his journey south to recover a piece of his family's history. however the story spins out to examine his whole extended family in detail and paints these really vivid portraits of their lives and how they all tie together. there's an element of magical realism to it, it's very grand in scope and equal parts awe-inspiring and tragic. I'd suggest giving it a read if only because any summary of mine is not gonna do it justice

piranesi by susanna clarke: short but gripping book about a guy who has been living in and studying an infinite labyrinth for a couple of years but has no recollection of his past or how he got there. I read this in about a day on isha's recommendation and basically couldn't put it down the whole time

quantum criminals by alex pappademas and joan lemay: essential reading for any Steely Dan enthusiasts or even the casual danfan. collection of nonfiction essays divided up by "characters" from the songs and accompanied by terrifically vivid illustrations of said characters: hoops mccann from "glamour profession", the gaucho amigo from "gaucho", etc... really well-researched and not super concerned with dissecting the "meaning" of individual song lyrics (which is fine. i have already read too much comments section discourse about who the rival from "my rival" actually is), but great at contextualizing each song in the big picture of SD's career.

a visit from the goon squad by jennifer egan: ten or fifteen short stories from varying povs and time periods, loosely centered around a music industry exec and his assistant. each story shares at least one link to the preceding one, and then near the end they get even more densely interconnected. i read this primarily because i was thinking of the elvis costello song "goon squad", and I'd heard one of the chapters was told as a child's powerpoint presentation (on "great rock and roll pauses"). as it turns out the book title's got nothing to do with the song but it's still a lot of fun to read

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: if you are even glancingly familiar with hamlet and have not read/seen/etc. this play: RUN don't walk to get your hands on a copy asap this shit rocks. simple as

the crying of lot 49 by thomas pynchon: i get that Pynchon has a reputation but this is a great first novel of his to read. it's short plus it manages to fit in all the long tangents, postal service conspiracies, 60s paranoia, and guys with insane names that you could ever want (emery bortz is my favorite). there's a passage near the end, where the protagonist considers spreading her inheritance among the transient population of america, that mentions people sleeping up in telephone lines among "the secular miracle of communication", and I'm not really doing the whole thing justice but it's stayed with me for years after first reading.

the wall by jean-paul sartre (translated by lloyd alexander): collection of five existentialist short stories, very chilly and evocative. i was handed a copy of this as a teenager by my deadbeat uncle who solemnly informed me that the 'wall' in the title was not just the literal wall from the first story, where a group of prisoners are sent to be executed, but a 'wall' separating the protagonist of each story from the rest of society. i may not trust that uncle on most things but i do on this one

something that may shock and discredit you by daniel lavery: transition memoir from the guy who used to write for dear prudence that came along at the exact right point in my life hahahaha. but it's worth reading even apart from that lol it's got some analysis of columbo, 1979 steve martin movie "the jerk", biblical scripture, etc. mixed in, it's written in a very funny and conversational tone that works well as a whole.

monstrous regiment by terry pratchett: book that got me into discworld!! on its face it's a mulan story where a girl disguises herself as a boy and joins the army to find her missing brother. then it's a balls to the wall farce where she gradually discovers that each of her fellow soldiers has some kind of secret to hide. then it's a serious interrogation of blind faith and patriotism and the horrors of war. however it's still the other things at the same time so while all that is happening she's getting bit in the nuts by a horse and having to fake being in pain bc the horse bit a rolled up sock. also it's nice to see gay and trans characters written with tact and depth and dignity in a comedy book that came out in the early 00s

---

going to tag... @jillianajones @pastelrabbits @ringneckedpheasant @mousetrapreplica @thatfrogisbog @lavendercountry and anyone else who sees this & wishes to share book recs. as always no obligations 👍

[crissiebaby]

The Padded Palace Act IV: Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, crossdressing, inappropriate language, humiliation, masturbation/diaper sex, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------

*Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz!*

The low rumble of Stacy’s cell phone on vibrate caused Stacy to stir from her heavy slumber. Sunlight poured into the bedroom and pooled around the bed, eliminating any possibility of her drifting back beyond REM sleep. “Ugh! Five mo minutes,” she grumbled, shielding her eyes with the crux of her elbow. However, the sun continued to shine and, more pressingly, her phone continued to buzz, eventually snapping her mind to groggy consciousness.

Slamming her hand down on her phone, Stacy craned her neck to the side and strained to read the caller ID. Thankfully, it was Mal, so she didn’t have to pretend to be awake when she finally answered the phone, “Hey Mal…*YAWN*...what’s up?”

“Yeah, that’s what we’d like to know?” said a male voice that certainly didn’t belong to her paid in-home caregiver. Seconds later, a pair of stern knocks on the door crackled downstairs loud enough to rattle the entire house, “You hear that?! Would SOMEONE care to open the ding-dang door?!”

Batting her eyes as she ogled at her phone, it didn’t take long for Stacy to recognize who she was speaking to. She only knew one Daddy groan-worthy enough to say “ding-dang door” with a straight face. “Martin! Hey! Uhh, hang on just a sec,” she said, leaping out of the bed and sprinting into the bathroom to change into her PJs. To answer the door in Latasha’s clothes would only advertise that something was up.

However, Stacy was only able to get partially undressed before a second, much less even-toned voice came through the speaker, “Ugh! Just gimme that! Stacy, it’s Carol! Pick-up time was 20 minutes ago! Why isn’t Connor answering his phone?!”

Stacy gritted her teeth as she immediately doubled her efforts to redress herself in her childish pajamas. “H-Hey Carol, I promise, everything is okay,” she said as she struggled to sound reassuring. Having anticipated waking up with plenty of time to use Connor’s phone to extend their slumber party, her inability to fall asleep until hours before sunrise soiled any chance of an early rise. Slipping into her soft PJ top, she rapidly yanked her bottoms upward to finish her ensemble.

*SQUISH!*

A hint of crimson dusted Stacy’s face as her squelching diaper was squeezed against her princess parts, using the crotch of her pants as a wedge. As pleasurable as it felt, she was slightly saddened and embarrassed by her failure to stay dry as Big. The sentence, “Lastasha wouldn’t have wet the bed,” replayed in her head like a neverending shame siren. Shaking off her melancholy, she cast aside her intrusive thoughts and quickly pieced together a plan.

Lightbulb!

Hurrying over to the shower, Stacy forcefully cranked the water on before proceeding to close the shower stall door and make her way downstairs. Arriving on the first floor, there was one thing she still needed to take care of before she could get the door. She held her breath and silently opened the nursery door to peek inside. The relief she felt as she listened to a choir of snoring was all the confidence boost she needed. She’d talked her way out of worse pickles than this. Sealing the nursery shut, she compelled her shoulders to ease back, got into as Big of a mindset as she could muster, and readied herself to face off against the REAL Bigs at the front door.

*CLICK!*

“Hey guys,” said Stacy meekly as she cracked open the door and peered outside at the Big trio of Carol, Martin, and Mal. Gulping hard, merely looking at all three of them assembled side-by-side had her shrinking even further away from the coveted caregiver role. She refused to cave so easily though, pushing herself to be bold as she widened the door, “Oh, geez! Time really flies when you’re having fun, huh?” She giggled alone at her attempt at levity.

Folding his arms, Martin had dealt with Stacy enough times to know when she was up to something. “Where’s Connor? All three of us have tried his phone. We had half a mind to contact Latasha too before you answered yours,” he said, his usual, kindly demeanor buried beneath the face of a frustrated parent.

“Yeah, and we still might!” Carol chimed in, going full Karen and delivering a powerful warning with only five single-syllable words.

Looking to Mal for help, Stacy’s grin faltered as even her own caregiver refused to back her up, “You’d better start explaining, young miss.”

Spinning a web of deceit in her head, the last thing Stacy wanted was for Latasha to get involved. Not only would she be likely to receive swift justice for her behavior last night but there was a good chance that Latasha could immediately cut her trip short to ensure the sanctity of her house. All the work she’d done to reveal the kind of guy she assumed Connor really was would be gone by dinner time. No matter what happened, she needed to keep them from calling Latasha at all costs. “Okay, for starters, I’m super sorry if you guys were panicking for the last twenty minutes. I promise, nothing bad is going on,” she said, her supposedly genuine capitulation sounding more like an obligatory TubeTuber’s apology voice. Thankfully, her lip service was enough to get Martin and Carol to take a breath, permitting her to continue chipping away at their austerity, “As far as Connor’s phone is concerned…he’s a little preoccupied at the moment.” Pointing upstairs, she prompted Martin and Carol to stick their heads through the doorway. The noise of a shower running was unmistakable.

“Ah…I see,” said Carol, her anger beginning to simmer due to a surprisingly even-keeled explanation. Although, she was still fuming from the heart attack Connor gave her. Searching for a reason to still be upset, her reasoning pivoted, “Perhaps picking a later shower time would’ve been wiser. Latasha wouldn’t be pleased to hear how the caregiver she left in her sted is missing in action like this.”

Sensing Carol’s fury was weening, Stacy only needed to dodge a few more questions before she could drive this thing home. “You make a good point. Connor probably should’ve waited,” she said, opening with a concession as a means of persuasion, “He just wanted to shower before Ellie and Riri woke up, so he deputized me to keep an eye on the sleeping angels. You see, for the past few weeks, I’ve…been exploring the older, Middle Space side of my kink personality, which is something Latasha’s been allowing me to do…with Mal’s permission, of course. Right, Mal?”

Standing on the edge of the porch as far away from the conflict as possible, Mal didn’t so much as flinch when Carol and Martin turned to stare them down. “Yep, my little miss is growing up,” she said, aiding and abetting her employer’s misdeeds at the drop of a hat.

Stacy subdued her reaction to Mal's compliance, though it was incredibly difficult not to let a pair of horns sprout out of the top of her head. Mal was truly worth every penny. Sadly, despite acquiring a foolproof alibi for her sudden turn to the Switch side, not everyone was convinced.

“Ya know, my baby girl loves to come home and tell me all about her day, no matter how mundane it may have been,” said Martin, his tone betraying his benevolent smile as he raised a suspicious eyebrow on Stacy’s way, “I don’t know. This just seems like the kind of thing she would’ve mentioned.”

With how close Stacy was to getting away with everything, to be thrown a last-second curveball was agonizing. If she were able, she would’ve let out a scream loud enough to shatter every window in the Padded Palace. Knowing she had nothing to back up any claims she could make about Riri, she did the only thing she could do and deflected. “I was kind of shy about it at first so that might be why, though I can’t exactly speak for Riri. What I can say is that Connor was planning to call you all after his shower. I know it’s probably too late to ask but the four of us had been talking about seeing a matinee before we split off,” she said, ramping up the disappointment in her voice. This may not have been the most ideal time to drop a line about extending their overnight party into the next afternoon but she needed to take Martin’s attention off her Middle Space fib somehow, “It’s the whole reason Riri and Ellie are sleeping in since the movie would be during naptime.”

While neither Martin nor Carol would ever dare to admit it, Stacy had done well working down their justified vexation to the point where her somber pouty face was doing a number on their heartstrings. In the end, based on all the evidence they had in front of them, this entire brouhaha appeared to be nothing more than an innocuous misunderstanding.

Not wanting to deal with the double-trouble tantrum from waking Ellie prematurely only to tell her that she wasn’t going to the movie theater, Carol placed her hands on her hips as she was unable to fully suppress her annoyance. “Ah, geez. You four just love to give us headaches don’t you,” she said, letting out a light-hearted scoff, “I suppose a movie wouldn’t be out of the question. What do you think, Martin?”

“Well, it’s not like Riri and I had anything planned today,” he said, displaying how much of a push-over he could be under the right circumstances. Moreover, he couldn’t help but contemplate all the home improvement work he could do with Riri out of the house for another few hours, “I can be back here at four to pick her up but I expect her waiting by the doorstep when I get here.”

Inching out in front of Martin, Carol added, “Same for Ellie. AND I expect a phone call from Connor when he gets out of the shower.”

Holding her hand stiff against her forehead, Stacy playfully saluted Martin and Carol. “You got it!” Receiving a nod from Martin and a headpat from Carol, the two Bigs each gave brief goodbyes as they made their way back to their cars. This left her alone on the porch with Mal, whose expression had yet to waver since her big lie about Middle Space Stacy.

“I think I need a raise,” said Mal plainly. Whether she had been waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on Stacy’s wallet or was merely taking advantage of a golden opportunity was anyone’s guess.

Regardless, there was little Stacy could do but relent, “Yeah, sure. Just be back around 4 pm.” The odd pair parted ways as she closed the front door, giving her a moment to let what just happened sink in. She rested the back of her head against the door, her legs nearly crumbling beneath her weight as she mumbled victorious, “And the Oscar goes to…”

Coasting between the fiery high of outsmarting a pair of Bigs and the smoldering anxiety of how badly that whole conversation could’ve gone, Stacy waded through the living as she made her way to the nursery to check on Connor, Ellie, and Riri. Luckily, their collective snoring had grown louder in her absence. “Looks like our fun isn’t over quite yet,” she cooed quietly as she leaned her chin against one of the crib beams and gazed upon her adorable Littles.

TO BE CONTINUED…

« PREVIOUS l FIRST l NEXT » (NEW CHAPTERS EVERY WEDNESDAY)

-------------------------------------------------------------

SubscribeStar: subscribestar.adult/crissiebaby pixivFANBOX: crissiebaby.fanbox.cc All CB Links: linktr.ee/crissiebaby

Edited by AllySmolShork

Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BlushyBen DD JFN Joshy LittlePissy PrincessKittenLizzi SissyDina Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & Three Anonymous Investors

[silver-queen]

v off topic but what is up with project moon lately ive been vaguely aware of workplace stuff happened but dunno much

id ask u if ur ok w/ explaining it to me but if u cant dw bout it

hope u have a nice day btw

I don't mind but be aware I'm not fluent In korean nor abut the social climate there 😔 and thank you!

I'm gonna recall what I know so it's going to be long, but long story short, Kim Jihoon (Project Moon's CEO) fired the CG artist vellmori immediately after some guys from korea's equivalent of 4chan (DCInside) accused her of being a feminist.

This isn't the first time something like this happened in the korean gaming industry, but this particular event kind of uncovered a whole lot of issues in other things, from Project Moon's shortcomings to as far as the korean gaming industry itself.

I don't know where to start, but the whole thing happened because a beach mini-event featured one of the female character in a full wetsuit and not in a bikini, nevermind that Project Moon is known for rarely, if ever feature fanservice. A group of people from DCInside directed their outrage to the main art director and artist of said character's skin, but once they found out that the artist is a man, they pivoted to the CG artist, despite the fact she's not responsible any character design in the game.

DCInside started to give Limbus Company a negative review on all platforms it was on for it's "feminist agenda" demanding for vellmori to be fired, and when PM took too long with complying with their demand, ten people took it to themselves and stormed Project Moon's office. The situation seemed dire, we tried supporting Project Moon because we thought they weren't the type of company who would side with people like them.

PM responded by posting an announcement (only in korean at the time to try to keep the international fanbase in the dark) that vellmori was to be dismissed from her position for "causing controversy"

Said controversy is that DCinside dug a deleted post vellmori retweeted when she was a teen speaking out against a spycam epidemic in women's bathroom. That was five years ago and long deleted, but apparently it was still a valid reason to dismiss her from the company.

Vellmori mentioned in a korean newspaper that Kim Jihoon fired her over the phone at midnight when he was still in Japan in preparation for a game expo. This was before Project Moon released any follow-up statement after the first one.

Project Moon then released another statement that vellmori was merely dismissed, but not fired, and that they aren't disclosing anything more to protect her. They also threatened to sue everyone who spread misinformation, which is hard to define since PM wasn't clearing up anything.

During this many former employees came forward about the poor management they experienced and the lack of employee protection in PM. The visual artist of Leviathan, the prologue comic/novel for Limbus Company mentioned that she was forced within a tight schedule (a chapter every week) without room to make buffer pages in her schedule. When she tried to negotiate for a scheduling change, Kim Jihoon instead cut her contract short.

The english translator for both Limbus Company and it's twitter announcements, in a separate incident, was harassed and cyberstalked on social media, yet Project Moon did nothing to defend him. Kim Jihoon has proven before that he could stand up for his employees, like he did with PM's cafe when customers harassed the staffs. Granted, the translator said that he doesn't want anyone to criticize Project Moon for not defending him, but his letter is still depressing to read, especially when he revealed he had to work on chapter 3.5 overnight while his family member was diagnosed with cancer.

MIMI, the artist for Lobotomy Corporation's spinoff comic Wonderlab, shortly took down the comic due to dissatisfaction with the company.

A youth union was created in response to the controversy, demanding a clear announcement over vellmori's employment status and to compensate her.

PM responded that yes, vellmori has been fired, and claims that she wishes her privacy to be protected to avoid revealing anything further about her dismissal, even though she had already talked to a newspaper about it.

And until this day Project Moon went on a crusade against everyone who directly speak against their decision, from suing peaceful truck protestors and unions, and yet they barely addressed the incels from DCInside who started this all in the first place. The infamy of this incident also brought attention to the rampant misogyny in South Korea, especially in the gaming industry.

Honestly this isn't the first time they folded from the slightest bit of pressure, but the first time it was because a review bomb on Library of Ruina because some blokes didn't like the original ending. I don't know. I feel like they're going to foster a fanbase that thinks they can get whatever they want if they cause a big enough ruckus when things don't go their way. I don't want to be part of that so I've been steering away from the fanbase even if I'm still fond of PM's stories.

Sorry this got long and I don't have complete sources, most of this is what I recall from witnessing it firsthand and I really don't feel like looking for Xitter posts 😭 this post is more complete if you'd like to read more.

[mistresslrigtar]

WIP Wednesday - I Belong to You - Chapter Eleven: Save Me

This chapter title is from Save Me by Muse. It was written/sung by their bassist, Chris Wolstenholme and chronicles his battle with alcoholism. It is a beautiful. underrated piece and I highly recommend listening.

Excerpt:

“Shit, Link,” Ganondorf’s voice was barely above a whisper. He reached for the plastic cup beside him and, holding it with two trembling hands, took a drink through the straw. 

“Yeah. You should see the other guy.” Link stuffed his hands in his pockets, his t-shirt stretching across his rigid back, and frowned when Ganondorf snorted water through his nose. “Didn’t mean to make you laugh.” 

Wiping his nose with the back of his hand, Ganondorf glanced Zelda’s way but looked past her shoulder, unable to meet her eyes. “Zelda. Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again any time soon.” He took another swallow of water, keeping his eyes averted. “Thanks for coming.”

She nodded, sitting in the armchair by the door, notating Ganondorf’s IV dripping measured doses. “I see Mipha brought more of the anti-Malice for you. That’s good.”

“Yeah, good thing we met you, science whiz. Got a cure for the shakes, too?” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, gritting his teeth as a spasm ran through his body.

“Sorry, only time and rehab can help with that.” She glanced at Link.

Cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders to loosen the tension, he ambled to the foot of the bed. Leaning against the dresser, he gave Ganondorf an implacable look.

“You’re gonna get help this time and stick with it.” Link’s voice was firm, telling Ganondorf what was expected. “No backsliding.”

Read the first seven chapters on AO3!

<Chapter One><Chapter Two><Chapter Three><Chapter Four><Chapter Five><Chapter Six><Chapter Seven>

TYSM to @zeldaelmo and @hyylia. Their support has been monumental in me completing this work.

I am so excited to say that this story is complete, with only five chapters left to edit, clean up, polish and post over the next couple of months. Thanks to everyone who is reading and following along!