#guys it’s him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

buggee22 · 1 year ago

Text

does anyone wanna hear me out on my inHABITed vinny/ie everyman au or,,,?

229 notes · View notes

sparklebyte · 20 days ago

Text

oh so you’re telling me the guy had a 3 page handwritten explanation of his motives and mindset and a gun and silencer that matches the description despite it being a week since the guy was shot? hmmmm interesting

#how convenient #how convenient for them to just find a guy that happens to have all this shit on him #there’s no way it could have planted #<- sarcasm by the way #luigi mangione #brian thompson #uhc ceo #the claims adjuster #united healthcare #sparkle.txt

46K notes · View notes

knockknockwhosthereartistism · 3 months ago

Text

The worst trauma comes from those who you love

23K notes · View notes

markwateneymemorialcrater · 2 months ago

Text

Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.

#billionaire #rich people #Elon would just be insufferable #just the worst case of “needs to be the smartest kid in the room syndrome ever #I feel Zuckerberg has actually worked on himself a lot lately and he would be reasonably chill to hang out with #still evil #but he doesn’t come across as insecure alien anymore #bezos also seems like he’d actually be a cool guy to hang out with #again. still super evil #but I think I could survive a few hours stuck with him without bludgeoning myself to death

18K notes · View notes

pangur-and-grim · 26 days ago

Text

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome #but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE #a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me #and that he really wanted to get to know me #so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him #and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex #total shocked pikachu face #I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again #DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE

18K notes · View notes

batcavescolony · 7 months ago

Text

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

#katniss everdeen #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games #primrose everdeen #hunger games #batcavescolony reads the hunger games #suzanne collins #'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl #and this isn't negative just bffr girl #your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is #old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU #...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in #CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the #reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously #shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent #so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to #district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie #and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give #them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like #some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12 #cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact #that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good #these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the #hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to #comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but #of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.

32K notes · View notes

sufficientlylargen · 6 months ago

Text

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

#fun fact: the Khuzdul name Tharkûn means 'staff-man'#so the Dwarves also call him 'the stick guy'#on the naming of things #sufficiently verbose prose #that's what I'm Tolkien about

28K notes · View notes

lullambii · 2 months ago

Text

Day 7 of #Veiltober - Davrin Griffon Daddy.

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #davrin #assan the griffon #veiltober #(It's never too late to finish the challenge lol)#I once said I won't romance him and here I'm marring this guy

15K notes · View notes

beepboopappreciation · 7 months ago

Text

Is this anything

28K notes · View notes

great-and-small · 4 months ago

Text

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

#inland taipan #idk if this is being talked about on tumblr yet but I’m enjoying making fun of this guy #he may not die but he DID get all his innocent snakes killed #so fuck him #Jeff leibowitz

15K notes · View notes

jabberwick · 8 months ago

Text

Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.

#And also: i know #i know the mayor of halloween town. I know guys.#twink death dilf birth #bill cipher #gravity falls #boy oh boy im anxious about posting this here please be nice to me #“the design deoesnt fit the voice” ?? idk man like. what if it did though.#you can draw him! i dont mind #no need to ask (:

27K notes · View notes

sleeqymoon · 2 months ago

Text