#guys i just realized i forgot to put the smoke on the baking tray

[theniiveous7]

cosmo and sprout!! plus an astro doodle

don't have any more ideas on my part for now and I've gotta regenerate my art abilities.

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Eat It, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Summary: Just because Y/N has a cooking fail doesn't mean Rafe won't try it.

A/N: Inspired by this post.

Masterlist

Y/N isn’t the worst at cooking and baking, but it doesn’t mean she is the best either. Like most people, she has her successes and her failures in the kitchen. Today, it appears her the latter is the one in favour. She really didn’t think that leaving the cookies in the oven for five more minutes would leave them this burnt. In hindsight, the burning smell coming from the kitchen should’ve told her to go to the kitchen earlier and as she opens the oven door, smoke rushes up the oven vent. She begins to cough as some of it enters her lungs, fanning the fire alarm so it doesn’t go off. Luckily, she is the only one at the Frat house to witness this disaster. She just jinxes her luck because, with the beeping of the alarm, Rafe comes into the room in a panic. “Angel, are you alright? Are you hurt?” he questions, reaching up to turn the alarm off before rushing to his angel. He takes her into his arms to give her a once over and she nods to reassure him. “I’m okay. Only disappointed. I wanted you and the boys to come home to the smell of freshly baked cookies, not me burning the house down. I mean look at those. They look like coal,” she dismays, gesturing with an open palm to the tray in the oven with black lumps. Rafe sighs, takes out the tray and turns the oven off, “It’s okay. They still look great. I bet it’s just the outside that is burnt and the inside tastes great.” He picks up the cooling burnt cookie, giving it a few blows and bringing it to his mouth. “Rafe, I don’t think you should-” she is interrupted by her boyfriend. 

“Let me eat it, Angel,” he insists. He takes a massive bite of baked goods. Immediately, he is overcome by a bitter sensation. His eyes dart to Y/N, who has a hopeful look, and he tries everything in his power to hide his true emotions with a smile. However, she notices the twitch in his right eye. She frowns, “Damn it. Don’t eat it anymore. I don’t want you to get sick or something. I just don’t know what I did wrong.” Rafe tries to hide his happiness of not having to finish it and puts it in the green bin. He places his hands above her elbows. “I’m sure you did everything right. There must be something wrong with the oven. I’ll get it checked out. I bet it’s the oven,” he persists. She nods, “Maybe, Let me look at the recipe again. Maybe I put it in way longer than I should’ve.” Her eyes glance over the recipe and she finds the culprit right away in the form of an F. Realization sets in. “I forgot the oven you guys have is in Celsius because you had it brought over from England, so when I set it to 350 Celsius, I was making way hotter than it was supposed to be,” she explains. Rafe gives her a small smile, “See, it isn’t your fault. It’s the stupid oven. I’ll get rid of it right away and get an American one so it doesn’t make you make that mistake again.” He kicks the oven, cursing up a storm against the inanimate object. She giggles at his actions and pulls him into an embrace. “Thank you for making me feel better, Rafe. You always know what to say.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming

[mariacallous]

Several moments of crisis and drama in the Callous household today:

-I did go to Walgreens and they had some candy and other items on sale which was great, plus some other items I needed to pick up, but the Maybelline Super Stay lipstick was at like $13 a thing and I both didn't need anymore/they didn't have any of the warm/spiced shades

-I decided I was going to make the borscht today and then realized I forgot celery and carrot, which aren't really a big deal, but the sour cream?!

-I decided to go the grocery store closer to my apartment than the one I like just because it was closer and I didn't need to do any major shopping. I remembered right away why I didn't like it - it's so small but also very cramped and crowded, with aisles sometimes skewing at an angle for space.

-I got more beets (cheaper and I can just roast them or do something else with them) plus carrots and celery.

-I second-guessed myself about whether i had "enough meat" for the borscht (probably yes) but I got some more beef neck bones with meat (plus some smoked turkey necks, for snacks and to put with other stuff maybe)

-Sour cream was 2/$4 which was a lot better than I was expecting, plus I have potatoes.

-Definitely had a guy squeeze my ass while trying to make it out the store but there were a) too many and b) I was in a hurry to get out and get home. But now it feels weird.

-Made it home and put stuff away and my fridge looks almost half-way normal(ish) for once. Decided to pull the beets out for roasting in the oven (after which I'd let them cool a bit and then skin them and either hand-grate them or use my food processor).

-Found out I didn't pack/got rid of my metal baking trays at some point between Minnesota and here? And I did that thing where you keep opening stuff (like the oven) to see if they'll appear after you've already looked. Ended up using one of my pyrex/glass baking dishes.

-Prepped the beets for roasting (quick rinse and then chopping off of the greens, to save for the soup and stir-frying or whatever later) and then put them in foil with a little olive oil, salt and pepper. Except...

-...my pepper seems to have gone the way of all things and all I had was two? kinds of salt (regular degular seat salt and then pink salt of some kind). Decided to forego and not worry about the pepper since I play on adding adjika seasoning and some paprika later.

-Now waiting for the oven to warm up to 375F (it's a gas oven which is weird to get back to after having used electric for so long) and I decided to check that halloween post of his again because it sends me...and realized he also included the fucking Tom Wambs reference photo with it.

That whole thing is sending me, y'all.

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 7~instant crush

A/N: aaaaaa this chapter is so/so???? i guess it gets better at the end??? idk, i’m starting to get back into that “i’m not a good writer” mindset that i was in at the beginning of nauseous. i’m hoping to start writing another chapter super soon! i’m just stuck in rut and it’s showing in the chapters. i’ll work harder to make them better, but no promises. also listen to the song that the chapter was named after here. it’s literally one of my all time favorite songs on the planet lol. ok, i apologize in advance but i hope u still enjoy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed, mentions of toys and smoking tools and pieces

Word Count: 2680

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what felt like days, you and Spencer had finally made it to your father's cabin. You hadn't been up north in years, all because you were so focused on getting your dream job. Driving down a dirt road, the smell of the trees mixed with rain had you feeling nostalgic, triggering memories of when you were a little girl, reading Charles Dickens under a tree or on the rocky shores of the lake. You couldn't wait to share these new memories here with him.

When you arrived in Michigan, you made sure you got all of your favorite goodies like Better Maid potato chips, Faygo's Rock'n'Rye, Vernors ginger ale, Superman ice cream, and you even made Spencer stop at your favorite pizza place, Buddy's, so you could get your favorite salad and a cheese pizza with light sauce and a crispy crust. He chuckled at how plain you like your pizza, but it was something you and your grandmother shared a loved for. You wanted Spencer to have as close to the Michigan experience he could because while you weren't in love with your home state, the small things you grew up with gave you joy.

The last errand you made before moving up north was to a dispo in Ann Arbor. Spencer couldn't go in with you, so you left him in the car (even though you wanted him to come in with you, he didn't have his card so it wouldn't work). Walking in, you showed the security guard your med card and continued your way through the store. Jars of bud covered the shelves on the wall. Glass showcases were filled with wax. Each strain (no matter what form) had labels in front of them, giving information about it and what it could do to help with any specific problem like joint pains or body spasms. You never really had a preference on what strain was best, nor got too picky if it was an indica, sativa, or hybrid.

You talked with a staff member and asked what they suggested. You ended up getting some Cherry Pie flower, joint papers, hemp blunt wraps, and a mini bbq lighter. Once you grabbed the goods, you headed out to suddenly notice a store that was at the outdoor mall next door. A smile grew on your face as you ran back to the car, set your bag down behind your seat, and grabbing Spencer by his hand and pulled him with you to the mall.

"Silly girl, I thought we were done with the errands?" He asked.

"One more stop," you said eagerly, "I promise. Plus, I think you'll get a little kick out of it."

A small building appeared as you made him stop in front of it. You saw him look up at the sign, looking a little confused. "There's a store with the same name as me?"

"Wait till you get inside." You giggled.

Those who weren't familiar with the store would think it was an edgier Hot Topic, but once you showed him what was in the back of Spencer's, you saw his jaw drop and couldn't hold in the laugh that was brewing in your throat. "Told you you'd get a little kick out of it."

"Well I thought you meant because of the fact it's called Spencer's, not because of all the...toys...they have."

"Are you getting ideas, Doctor?"

He straightened himself out and fixed his sweater. "I cannot confirm, nor deny your question."

"Dr.Spencer Reid," you giggled, slapping his arm softly, "naughty boy."

"Are you getting idea's, Agent L/N?"

You were quiet for a moment. "...maybe." you mumbled.

Spencer just laughs at the little banter you just had. "Let's save it for when we're home. It'll give me time to really think about it."

As you're left there speechless, your clouded mind is interrupted by the look on his face as he looks at the dick shaped candy they had.

"Ok, ok," you giggled, "let me go find what I'm looking for and then my errands are done. I'm ready to just sit back on the couch, put a fire on, and relax."

From there you went to the middle of the store, where you grabbed a green rolling tray with a panda on his back smoking a joint, a hot pink grinder, and a game controller ashtray before going up to the cashier to pay. You then headed back to the car and headed off to the cabin.

The cabin hadn't changed a bit, with its Christmas lights still hung and the skeleton that was sitting on the porch chair. You thought maybe your dad did all this while you two were on your way, but whatever the reason, you could tell that Spencer was already in love with it once he saw the skeleton. You forgot how big the cabin was. It wasn't small like a fairy's cottage, but you could say it was smaller than Rossi's mansion.

The smell of pine needles and fire smoke filled your head with nostalgia as you entered. You dropped your bags and plopped on the couch. You felt at home, and with Spencer, the feeling was stronger than you could've ever felt. You let out a big sigh, smiling as you hold one of the couch pillows to your chest.

"If your father built this cabin, he's the genius not me." Spencer joked as he moved your legs over so he could sit down next to you. He let your legs rest on his lap, rubbing your legs awkwardly, giving you that awkward white guy smile.

"How about you put the bags in the bedroom and then we'll go exploring," you said as you adjusted your position, using the armrest as support, "I haven't been here in years and I'm feeling very nostalgic."

"Sounds like a plan!...um..." Spencer looks around the living room, trying to find the bedroom.

"Oh, sorry! It's straight down that hall on your left." You pointed over to the hallway next to him. Once he saw the open doors to the bedroom he grabbed your bags and sat them down. You got up as he walked to the room and started exploring. You started in the kitchen, looking back on the times you'd bake the most gooey chocolate chip cookies as your dad cooked the family stew. Your father always had a hobby for making food, didn't matter if it was a meaty dish or a beautiful dessert. You thought nothing could beat your father's cooking, and that became especially true when you went to college.

As you were walking to the hall, you noticed Spencer admire the artwork that was hanging on the walls. "Did you know that the first log cabins that were built in America were emigrants from Sweden and Finland?" He asked. "They had been building them for 1,000 years, prior to coming here."

"That's very interesting," you said loudly as I walked to my old room, "I didn't know that." Something you always loved was to listen to people talk. Spencer was known for rambling about something when he should've been keeping it case related. He'd start off with giving them what they wanted to know, but then get so excited that he kept going on. It was something you did, too, but only around those you were comfortable around and that was very rare.

As he continued to ramble facts about the paintings, you looked around the familiar room that felt a bit distant. Your dad had turned your old room into an office. All the bright lilac walls had turned to gray, and your bed with a matching white desk were replaced with a black leather couch and a black, very sophisticated desk. Pictures of the two of you mixed with Red Wing merchandise hung on the walls and sat at his desk.

"Uuuuhh, Y/N?" Spencer called, "you might want to see this!

With a confused look on your face, you walked out of the office and back out to the living room where you see him hold a ziplock bag. Inside was a small stash of something similar that you bought that day.

"Where did you find all that weed?" you asked.

"I was looking at the books on this bookcase and as I took one out to explore further, this fell out with it."

You start exploring on your own. It had to be here. It'd make complete sense.

"What are you looking for?"

You ignore him for a moment before finding it. That son of a bitch.

You show Spencer the glass piece you found, the light in the room making its blue accent glow.

"Is that a erlenmeyer flask?" He asked, looking puzzled.

You couldn't help but laugh at his innocence. "You're cute," you said, "but no, it's a bong! My dad's a sneaker bastard. I never knew he smoked-" you stopped in your tracks for a moment, thinking. "...I don't know how I feel about that information."

Spencer chuckles as you go through your mini life crisis. You notice his eyes then move in different directions. It took you a minute to realize what he was looking at. He would look at you, then look at the bong, then at the bag of weed, and continue the cycle. A grin fell upon your face, making Spencer grin a evil, yet goofy smile.

"Let's get comfortable first," you propose, "I'll heat up our pizza's and grab the salads, you grab the rock'n'rye and then we'll get to smokiiin."

Without a second thought, the two of you rushed to get into pajamas. You both had decided that Christmas pajamas was the way to go with how cold it was going to be. Coming out of the bedroom as Spencer came out of the bathroom, you both laugh at the fact that you pretty much had the same theme going. While Spencer was wearing a red long sleeve with the vintage coke'a'cola Santa Clause, you wore a white fitted shirt with the coke's'cola polar bears on it. Your pants were pretty much the same red and black checkered flannels, but while Spencer wore just regular slippers, you had on Rudolph the red nose reindeer fuzzy socks.

After heating up the pizza and pouring the drinks, your grab your food and went for the couch. You sat it on the coffee table in front of you before grabbing the bong, along with the bag and your grinder. As you began to grind the flower, you looked over to Spencer, who seemed to be really loving the pop through the nervousness on his face.

"Are you sure you want to try smoking out of a bong, Spence?" you asked, "Because you don't have to if you're too nervous."

"No no, I do want to! I'm just getting excited that's all."

"You're ok with your mouth being on the same place mine has?"

He was quiet for a moment. "No spit will be on this," you explain, taking the look on his face as a maybe, "but we have our napkins if you want to wipe."

"Ok, good!" He sighed out of relief.

Once the bud was grounded, you took some out with your fingers and packed it in the bowl, rubbing your fingers together to get some of the sticky stuff off. You then put on some music from you groovy playlist on your phone, connecting it to the bluetooth speakers that surrounded the room.

As you put your mouth on the top, lighting the bowl, you move the flame over half of it, letting Spencer have the other half. You felt eyes burning on you as you took the bowl out and inhaled. You held the smoke in your lungs for a few moments before a cloud formed in front of your face.

You handed the bong and lighter to Spencer, showing him what to do. You reminded him to inhale as he held the flame to the bowl. You watch as he did exactly what you did, copying your movements from memory. When he exhaled, the cloud of smoke was a bit bigger than yours was, you were shocked that he didn't have a coughing fit afterward.

He sat it down on the coffee table and sat back on the couch, letting the sensations take over his body. You grabbed the bong again and took another hit, handing it to Spencer afterward. He surprisingly took it from your hands and took another rip. You ended up doing this a few more times until your grinder was empty. You took the last bong rip, setting it back down and slouched on the couch.

By this time, the munchies had kicked in. You both devoured your dinner in a matter of minutes. But the tingles slowly left your body once you finished, so you grabbed the bong and your grinder again. This time, you took the bottom part off, looking at the leftover bits of the bud that turned into almost a powder form. You then grabbed your bag from the dispo that was sitting on the table next to you, and grabbed the flower you had bought. You took the cherry pie bud out of its container and ground it up.

You looked over to Spencer, who was just feeling the music. He looked very much relaxed, staring at the ceiling fan that hung above them.

After taking a huge rip from the bong, you coughed out a bit as you sat it back down. Without even realizing, you sneaked your way under his arm, laying your head on his chest. He put his arms around you, letting you snuggle into him.

With the light of the moon now being your only source of light, and the song Instant Crush playing in the background, you felt safe in his arms. Nothing could've ruined this moment. All you wanted was him and him alone.

"You're like a beautiful dragon, Y/N." You heard Spencer say.

You look up at him with a confused look on your face. "What do you mean by that?"

"When you exhaled. When I exhaled, even. We were like dragons blowing fire. It was so cool."

He was definitely gone, it was pretty obvious. But hearing him babble on and on about being dragons made you smile and giggle. It was contagious, making Spencer giggle with you, and then you couldn't stop. Your stomach and cheeks were hurting at this point.

Once the giggling calmed down, you looked up at him, as he looked down at you. Without a thought in mind, you both leaned and kissed. Your lips hovered over the other for a moment, before leaning back in, your lips melting together as your tongues attacked the other. His right hand in your hair, and his left cupping the side of your face.

After a minute, Spencer broke away and spoke. "I don't care what we are right now," he said, "we can talk about that another time. Right now, I just want you."

You smiled and went back in. He smiled through the kiss, letting tongue go back to where it belonged.

And there you stayed, kissing here and there, taking a few more hits before you both passed out on the couch, your arms still around the other.

[briefololtragedy]

Of menus and audio-books

Pairing Kakashi Sakura

Rating M

Summary: Sakura and Kakashi both want their dinner date, but Sakura's work keeps getting in the way. Sakura asks for Kakashi's help with tasting the menu, lets see what happens. The coffee shop saga continues

also posted to AO3 , follow up to Pakkun’s plan and Frazzled Friday

Sakura couldn’t believe the last two weeks she has had. Two weeks ago she was supposed to have dinner with Kakashi, but she kept having to put it off for work. She really needed to make a note to never cater ever again. She thought nothing could be worse than catering for that 16th birthday party, a shiver ran up her spine thinking of all the pink and sparkles. Hana, Sakura loved her to death, but between her changing her mind about the menu every other day and then Kiba constantly showing up in the coffee shop, Sakura was on her last shred of sanity. Kakashi still visited with Pakkun, but for not as long and his visits were what was getting her through this hell. She knew that Kakashi wasn’t fully comfortable talking with her when Kbia was present. 

Burning...something was burning! She looked around and realized it was her muffins that she put into the oven. Sakura made a mad dash to the kitchen, smoke was billowing out of her oven. The muffins were beyond saving. Throwing the tray into the sink she couldn’t help but let out a frustrated yell. The shop wasn’t open yet, not for another 30 minutes, so there were not any customers to scare away. 

And it was just at this moment her phone decided to ding. Not even two seconds later the phone was flying across the kitchen. Yep...here come the tears. She didn’t know anymore if they were out of frustration or actual sadness. Hana changed her mind again and wanted to go into a different direction. Sakura already decided that this day sucked. She just wanted to crawl back into bed and cuddle up with a good book. Silver flashed across her mind, cheeks flushed. She wouldn’t mind cuddling with him either. 

Sakura didn’t know what to make of their relationship. He was more than a customer, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted. She wanted to get to know him more, wanted to see him outside of these stupid walls. She wanted to shave her legs, do her hair and makeup, and wear a dress for him, well more for her, but she wanted him to be there to appreciate her. A small voice said she also wanted to appreciate him, take that scarf and more off of him. 

After her 10 minute freak out she got up from the floor, retrieved her phone and went to work. She was on the phone with Hana when he came in, he was earlier than usual (very odd). After talking Hana down from the edge, no she would not do German Russian fusion, what even the hell was that! She will handle the menu and told Hana to not worry about it. She couldn’t help the flutter in her chest when watching her favorite duo take a seat. She thanked whatever deity was looking out for her since Kiba was nowhere in sight. 

“I think someone played a prank on you and messed with your clocks. You do know that it is 9am?” Kakashi was yet again hard at work on his laptop, Pakkun at his feet. She sat across from him, well she more like flopped into the seat, but it was a long day and it was only 9am! 

“Hmm, maybe I just really wanted to see you.” Kakashi felt worn down, he didn’t want to beat around the bush. He was here finally when Sakura wasn’t busy with a certain customer. It was over a month since he had started to frequent Sakura’s coffee shop and he really wanted that dinner date. It didn’t help that Genma started talking about the pretty pink haired coffee shop owner when he was drunk the other night. Images flashing through his mind. He also wanted to take her up on her offer of helping him with his audiobook debacle. Kakashi decided that today would be the day, they would set the actual day for their date.

“I’m sure a busy editor like yourself has better things to do.” Sakura took a pause. “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to get our dinner together. This catering event has been a huge headache. You and this little guy have been so helpful.” Why couldn’t they seem to get out of these four stupid walls. 

“I’m never too busy for coffee or your dessert of the day.” Sakura couldn’t help but smile, it was then she decided to throw her shoulders back and give herself a mental pep talk. “So my client changed the menu again, this is a short notice, but how would you feel about testing out the menu I came up with tonight?” It felt like an eternity as she waited for his answer. 

Kakashi wanted to jump up and cheer, but he was not Gai. “Tonight would work.” His palms were not sweaty, he was not a teenager anymore. However, he felt himself melt at that wide dazzling smile. “Perfect! I’ll send you my address. Does 8 work?” 

“8 sounds good.” He would have made sure that it worked. Kakashi watched her walk away and couldn’t help but chuckle at the flour she had on the back of her jeans, highlighting her amazing backside asset. Eight couldn’t come fast enough. 

Sakura couldn’t help the extra pep in her step throughout the rest of the day. Mei looked at her like she grew a second head when she was giving customers free upgrades on their coffee orders. Sakura even had time during her break to make a menu and grocery list. She would have plenty of time to get what she needed, exercise (cause of her sugar addiction), and start preparing the food. She felt good, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Sakura had decided on a simple green fit n flare dress that came to her mid thigh, hair was in a messy bun, and just a little bit of makeup. 

A knock on her door brought her back down to earth. She froze and was at a loss for words at the sight before her. Kakashi was wearing dark loose fitting jeans and a light grey henley shirt. She could see part of a tribal tattoo peeking out from under his right sleeve. Then there was his scarf, or more importantly the lack of a scarf. Internally she started to whimper, it wasn’t far for him to look like that. 

“Kakashi please come in. I’m not making everything that I was thinking of serving for the event, but wanted to do a variety. You wouldn’t mind giving me your opinion on the other foods too?” Sakura felt more comfortable talking about food or more work related topics. She didn’t trust herself with him. Previous boyfriends didn’t like it when she was more “aggressive.” 

“Sounds good.” Kakashi couldn’t help, but appreciate Sakura’s appearance. She always looked stunning, but now...  He could see her muscular thighs, small waist, toned arms, and her rear. He had admired one of her best assets earlier today and couldn’t help stare as she led him through her house.  

“Here is the menu I wrote up. Whatcha think?” Sakura was leaning over her kitchen island resting on her elbows. 

Kakashi looked at the menu in front of him: Short Rib Crostini with Cambozola Cheese and Cherry Jam. Kimchi deviled eggs. Apple stuffed pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon. Butternut squash soup, tomato soup with mini grilled cheese crouton. Caramelized onion, goat cheese, and mushroom flatbread. Teriyaki salmon mini burgers. Medley of roasted vegetables Desserts in a shot glass: Tarrimsu, white chocolate blueberry cheesecake, lemon meringue. Trio of hot chocolate and cookies 

“There will also be fruit and vegetables, fresh dip...Oh and some homemade crackers. I was thinking of baked brie with apricot jam. There were fresh apricots at the store and couldn’t help making some jam.” Before he could speak his stomach decided to join the conversation. 

“Hmm , maybe I should stop talking about food and we should go to the eating part. I made the deviled eggs, flatbread, vegetables, tomato soup and grilled cheese. Then the hot chocolate and either chocolate chip or snickerdoodle cookies.” All of the smells that hit him when he first walked in all made sense now. He could smell the cookies, but really caught his attention was the eggplant in the mix of roasted vegetables. 

“That sounds like a perfect plan. I forgot to ask if it would be alright to take you up on your offer from a couple of weeks ago, and have you listen to me read?” He had tried reading for Jiraya earlier, but all he got was a sour face from the man. 

“It's the least I can do. Let’s eat!”  Sakura found the conversation was easy. Kakashi gave some comments on the food, she noticed how he went back for more eggplant. She also had to pat herself on her back for not being too awkward. She found herself talking about Naruto and Jiraiya. Along with stories of Ino. Kakashi shared about his dogs, how he rescued them, he had more than just Pakkun. He had been in the army, but left after 5 years. He found himself settling into the publishing business with his passion for books. 

Kakashi had settled into her sofa, while she decided to clean the kitchen before dessert. Guilt overtook him while he watched her do the dishes and clean off the counters. He found himself making his way to help her, she seemed shocked when he pushed her over to dry while he washed. It seemed like her friends didn’t volunteer often to help her clean. 

The dish water had gotten his shirt slightly damp on the front, allowing for it to cling just enough to get an outline of his abs. It was getting hotter in her kitchen and the oven was off. She was taken out of her thoughts when she felt an arm grazing her back. “Sorry, I finished washing and decided to help with drying, the only other towel was to your right. You were lost in thought I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

“Sorry for zoning out. Let me get the hot chocolate ready. Do you want white, milk, or dark chocolate? Also cookie choice.” She had decided on white chocolate and snickerdoodle, hmm this sugar was going to go straight to her ass. 

“I’m starting to think you are made out of sugar. I will have dark chocolate. Hmm I think I’ll try both, I’ve been a good boy.” Sakura felt warm again, how was she going to get through him reading one of those stupid books. 

“The night is still young, hope you stay a good boy. Lets go to the living room for your contribution to the evening.” Kakashi was having second thoughts. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to practice?” He didn’t want her to run away or ruin what relationship they had.

“Kakashi it's the least I can do! You have been so much help with all of this, have a seat.” Kakashi went back to sitting on the sofa, placing his hot chocolate on the end table. The chocolate chip cookie was already gone. Sakura made herself comfortable on the other end of the sofa, she was sitting facing him, one of her legs under her, she was sipping on her drink and occasionally dunking her cookie into it. 

“Alright here goes nothing.” Kakahi cleared his throat as he started to read. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Maalik.” Elena looks forlorn. The wind blows her chestnut hair in front of her face obscuring her crystal clear blue eyes. They are meeting in their safe haven, far from the eyes of their families. A small stream flowed through the area, wildflowers surrounding. The trees provided shade from the gruling sun. A ray of light had cut through the trees and onto Elena, it was their oasis.. Maalik couldn’t help but give pause. She was beauty, nothing could compare. He could feel his palms become sweaty and his heart race as he looked at her. 

Kakashi noticed that Sakura was adjusting in her seat. She was cupping her mug with both hands staring at him intently. He continued on. 

“You say that everytime we meet, my love.” Maalik’s smoky voice penetrated through the air. He couldn’t help, but bring his hand to her face making her look him in the eyes. Elena’s heart was beating so fast it felt like it would come out of her chest. All thoughts vanished from her mind as she looked into his brown eyes. His arm went to wrap around her waist, pulling her to him. Elena’s hand was resting on his chest and she could feel his heart beating like a drum in his chest. 

Sakura could feel some discomfort between her legs grow. She wanted to rub them together. It should not be allowed to have his deep baritone voice so smooth, warming her all the way to her bones. 

“Every time I see you I can’t help but feel like your beauty grows, it puts the flowers to shame.” He couldn’t help but bring their lips together. It had been weeks since they last saw each other. Elena was hesitant at first, but wasted no time to deepen the kiss. They both were acting like people dying of thirst getting water for the first time. Before Elena knew it she was laying on the grass, Maalik hovering over her. Their kiss never broke. 

Kakashi’s heart was beating fast. He was sure he was blushing. Sakura’s eyes had started to glaze over. He wanted to reach out and move that strand of hair from her face. 

“Please...Please Maalik it's been too long. I need you.” Maalik didn’t have to be told twice as he ventured down Elena’s body leaving wet trails as he made it to his destination. 

“Sakura… are you alright?” She had been fidgeting in her seat. “I...” All self control had abandoned her and she lunged. She shoved the book out of his hands as she settled herself on his lap. Sakura cupped his face in her hands and went in for the kiss. She could taste the lingering chocolate and cinnamon from dessert. Part of her wondered if he would pull away, but once she felt him deepening the kiss with hands going to her hips she cheered internally. 

Kakashi was wondering if he was dreaming. The slight nip on his lip assured him this was reality. He couldn’t help, but to slide his hands up her thighs to her hips. He took note of the ripple of her muscles with his touch. Kakashi pulled her closer to him. A low moan escaped him as Sakura started to slowly circle her hips against him. The small whine she created when he had to pull away broke part of him. They both were panting heavy just from their kiss. 

“I have wanted to kiss you since the first time I met you. Do you know how much I desired to pull that stupid scarf off of you? “ Sakura’s voice had taken a husky quality to it, while they had stopped their current activity she continued to stay on his lap. 

“Sakura you are no better, with those tight jeans and aprons you wear. How a baker has this great of an ass I will never know.” To emphasize his point one of his hands went to squeeze her ass lovenly. This time it was Kakashi initiating their heated lip lock. His hair was so soft between her fingers. A pleasant sensation ran up her spine as he rubbed small circles on her hip. She wanted to explore more of him. 

Sakura found her right hand venturing downward, tracing the outlines of his pectorals, down his abdominal muscles, to rest just above his jeans. She slowly pulled away from him, resting her forehead on his, as she slowly unbuttoned his jeans to slide her hand to her goal. The moan and bucking of his hips was the only sign she needed to continue. She could feel Kakashi’s lips on her neck, him lightly biting at times. Sakura almost had to give pause once she had his sizable member in her hands. She licked her lips as she started to slowly work up and down his shaft. Her position was slightly awkward as her hand was between both their bodies. She wanted to move with him and found herself circing her hips with his rhythm. 

Kakashi felt like he was in overload at the moment. The taste of her neck and mouth still lingering, then the feel of Sakura’s hand as she worked him, and then her hips grinding against him it was almost too much. Before he could speak he found himself standing up with her in his arms. The small squeak she let out was adorable, but it was her wrapping her legs around him that he focused on. 

“Bedroom?” At his question Sakura pointed her head in the direction of her hallway. As he made his way to his destination he couldn’t help but kick off his jeans as they fell down. Once he found the right door on his own. Sakura had decided to start licking and biting at his neck, hands wondering. At least she had released her hold on little Kakashi because he didn’t think he would have the self control to not take her against the wall. 

He made quick work of his shirt after laying her down, while Sakura made quick work of her dress. 

Sakura started to feel self conscious as she looked at the greek god in front of her. The tattoo that she saw earlier extended up his shoulder and over his right pec. She was so wrapped up on her thoughts she didn’t notice Kakashi staring. 

While Sakura made some of the most delicious desserts they didn’t make his mouth water as much as the woman in front of him. Her breasts were covered by a white lace bra, but looked like they would fit perfectly in his hands. His eyes trailed down her flat stomach to her matching pair of white panties. It was time for his second dessert. 

Sakura felt her bed dip as Kakashi joined her. Her arms locking around his neck as he started to kiss her. She couldn’t help but to rub her legs together as one of his hands went to her breast, messaging it. He started to trail down her with kisses. Him making quick work of her bra as he latched onto one of her nipples, while he messaged the other. After a few minutes he switched. The pressure between her legs was building and she couldn’t help her whimpers and moans. She wanted more. 

As if hearing her thoughts he ventured down her stomach pausing where her underwear started, then it was gone. His thumb started to rub circles over her clit before he replaced it with his mouth. He started sucking gently at first then the pressure started to build, especially once he placed two finger into her pumping at a lazy rhythm at first. Her back arched and she was coming. 

Kakashi came back up to kiss her and she could taste herself. She wasted no time in wrapping her legs around him as he positioned himself. Finally he slid inside, stretching her deliciously. 

____________________________________________

They laid intertwined both exhausted from their multiple rounds. 

“You don’t like my scarf?” Sakura rolled her eyes as she nestled into him more. “Shut up and don’t make me regret spending my day off with you.” 

Extra- Pakkun's thoughts:

Pakkun thought all was well 2 weeks ago, yet his owner can't seal the deal with the pretty shop owner. Pakkun has his life set and Kakashi had to ruin it. Tonight just takes the cake! Kakashi left him! Kakashi had looked like a nervous teenager when he left, mumbling to himself as he walked out the door. It almost sounded like he was giving himself a pep talk. Pakkun looks to the sofa where the other human is sitting, sipping a beer, while having a toothpick in his mouth, why was this guy even here! Pakkun had become accustomed to tuning out this human. he vaguely hears a ding of the phone. "Well peanut looks like it will be just us. Kakashi wont be back tonight, lucky dog." Genma has a smirk on his face.

Pakkun doesn't want to be with Genma and he also sees his hopes of a belly full of dog biscuits crumble. Surely if Kakashi was visiting Sakura he would have taken Pakkun along.

[themurphyzone]

104 Words for 104 Days: Cook

Enjoy!

The roof of Vanessa’s bedroom was ripped off by her overzealous robot brother at six on a Saturday morning. Saturdays were meant for sleeping in, but apparently her dad’s habit of waking up at some forsaken hour to scheme had rubbed off on Norm.

“WAKEY WAKEY CHOCOLATE CAKEY!” Norm cheered, in the closest imitation to cheering that his voice chip would ever produce. “GOOD MORNING, SIS!”

Vanessa rolled over, burying her face into a pillow. If she ignored him, he’d go away once he got bored.

“WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO MAKE BREAKFAST IN BED FOR OUR DAD!”

She seriously needed to invest in noise-cancelling earmuffs.

“Father’s Day was last month, Norm,” Vanessa mumbled into her pillow. “Or two months ago. I don’t know, the dates all blend in summer and I don’t feel like getting up to find a calendar.”

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY PUPPY DOG EYES? I’VE BEEN PRACTICING SO I CAN GET DAD TO PLAY CATCH WITH ME!”

Vanessa jolted awake. She’d seen Norm cry motor oil once while trying the puppy dog technique, and it was very messy business. She had no wish to repeat that incident ever again.

“I’m up!” she snapped, leaping out of bed and snatching her hairbrush off the nightstand. “Put the roof back, let me get dressed, don’t leak motor oil into my room, and maybe I’ll consider helping you!”

“I’LL BE OUTSIDE!” Norm chirped.

Vanessa buried her face into her hands. She wondered how Candace managed to survive being an older sister.

                                             O – O – O – O – O

By some stroke of luck, her mom was on an overnight camping trip for the weekend without wifi, saving Vanessa from any awkward explanations.

Apparently Norm had spent the past few days collecting ingredients, since the storage closet was almost bursting with flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder. The refrigerator was full of blueberries and butter.

She wasn’t sure if Heinz was aware that his living space had essentially been converted into a bakery, or if he was taking advantage of the ingredients and scheming to create a recipe for evil blueberry muffins.

“I DID ALL MY CALCULATIONS, AND THE PROJECTED TOTAL IS SIX HUNDRED BLUEBERRY MUFFINS,” Norm said. “PLEASE HELP ME BRING THESE INGREDIENTS TO THE KITCHEN SO WE CAN GET STARTED.”

He handed her a recipe page and chef’s hat, then gathered a shelf’s worth of items before heading to the kitchen. Sighing, Vanessa grabbed a bag of flour and trudged after him.

“Try not to burn down the kitchen,” Vanessa warned as she dumped a cupful of sugar into a mixing bowl. “Explosions are Dad’s thing.”

“DON’T WORRY, SIS. I’VE LEARNED FROM DAD’S MISTAKES. I KNOW EFFECTIVE WAYS TO BRING THE TRI-STATE AREA TO ITS KNEES AND HOW TO APOLOGIZE TO PLATYPI WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY CHEAT ON THEM WITH A PANDA BEAR.”

“I don’t consider that a strange sentence,” Vanessa admitted. “Should I be concerned?”

“NOPE.”

“You’re right. Probably not worth it.”

Norm’s fingers retracted, an assortment of measuring spoons replacing them. He dug the spoons into the baking powder, tossing it into the large bowl that was too high for Vanessa to reach. When he was finished, Vanessa grabbed her own spoon and added the baking powder to her own bowl, which was thankfully sized for a normal human.

“Hey, this thing’s jammed again! That’s it, I’m swearing vengeance against locks! And locksmiths to an extent too, but mostly the locking mechanisms themselves!”

A banging noise persisted in the background, and Vanessa was tempted to keep it there so she didn’t fall asleep on the spot.

“PLEASE IGNORE THAT. THAT WAS…MY…MIXTAPE. I FORGOT TO TURN IT OFF,” Norm said, intently stirring the contents of his bowl.

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Sure, Dad swearing revenge against an oddly specific object just happens to be on your mixtape. You locked him in his room last night, didn’t you?”

“NOOO?” Norm replied, drawling the syllable for way too long.

“You’re a terrible liar, Norm,” Vanessa said, handing her finished bowl to Norm and starting over with another one. “Do you want me to teach you how to lie properly? You might not have to use that skill around Dad, but it’ll come in handy if you need to lie to anyone else.”

“ALRIGHT. I’LL JUST LIE TO PERRY THE PLATYPUS.”

“No. Do NOT lie to Perry the Platypus. He will give you his ‘I am so disappointed in you’ glare and look like one of those really sad animals on an ASPCA commercial at the same time. I was on the receiving end of that once after I lied about a date, and I felt like I kicked a million puppies for a week afterwards. It’s not a fun experience.”

It took forty minutes to get all the dry ingredients into the bowl and gather the remaining items, but Norm was surprisingly fun to talk to during the monotonous work. It wasn’t like talking with her mom, who was one of the few adults she respected, or her dad, who talked more than he listened. Perry gave good advice, but he could be a brick wall on occasion. She had to project an air of apathy and rebellion with her peer group, and she had to be careful about what she said around Monty.  

Norm was surprisingly insightful, and even witty with his own sarcastic quips. Despite admiring Heinz and wanting his approval, he wasn’t blind to the man’s flaws either. He just didn’t have the experience in handling him yet.

And Vanessa didn’t mind giving a few pointers.

“I know I complain a lot about Dad, but I care about him too,” Vanessa said. “He spent nearly a decade searching for a discontinued doll that I wanted as a kid. He didn’t have to. It was just one of those heavily marketed toys for the holiday season, and I was never upset about not getting it. I moved on after a while. But Dad never forgot that conversation. That’s the thing about him. He might be dense as a rock to what you actually want, but he’ll jump at any opportunity to give you what he thinks you want. Sometimes it works, sometimes it can be infuriating.”

Norm was silent for a while. Then he replaced his spoons with fingers and grabbed several boxes of blueberries from the fridge. “USING YOUR ADVICE, I THINK I’LL SIT HIM DOWN FOR A TALK AND EXPLAIN WHAT I WANT FROM HIM SO HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GUESS.”

“Best idea I’ve heard from you all day,” Vanessa said. “And if he tries to bail out, get Perry to sit on him.”

Norm laughed and moved onto the eggs, preparing to drop the entire carton into the mix.

“Norm, you’d better fold in the blueberries,” Vanessa said, quickly stopping him before anything inedible could ruin the mixture. She grabbed a clean bowl and expertly cracked several eggs, tossing the eggshells into a plastic bag. “I agree with Dad on how humans don’t eat eggshells or cartons.”

“YOU AGREE WITH DAD?”

“Yeah, I know. Put it on the record.”

Fifty eggs and seventy-five boxes of blueberries later, Norm’s built-in mixers made short work of the batter. Soon it was golden and thick, ready to be ladled into the muffin trays for baking. Still, Vanessa felt like they were missing something.

There was an unused container of sugar almost as long as her arm sitting on the counter. With such a large amount of ingredients, it was easy to miss one.

“Norm, we forgot about that sugar container,” Vanessa said.

Norm unscrewed the lid and dumped the white grains into the mix, giving it several quick stirs with his spoons. When he was finished, he started ladling the mix into each hole on the muffin tray. Vanessa hadn’t realized they owned so many muffin trays, or that the oven could hold eight at a time, or that Norm could transfer heat from his systems to make them bake faster.

Norm even understood basic safety and poured his undivided attention on the muffins, making sure none of them burned or set off the smoke detectors. It was good to know someone in the penthouse had enough sense to observe safe electrical practices.

Confident that Norm could take care of the kitchen by himself, Vanessa went to the bathroom to wash the sugar and eggs off her hands. When she came out, she found a very sheepish Perry handing a generous portion of his salary to her dad, who was nursing a black eye and bruised hand.

“-so next time, warn a guy before you knock down their door! The key was literally on the peg! You could’ve just grabbed that!” Heinz scolded, holding a bag of frozen peas to his eye. Then surprise overtook the scowl when he spotted Vanessa, and the toothy grin looked pretty ridiculous with half his face covered by frozen veggies. “Morning, Vanessa. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be sleeping in at Charlene’s like a normal teen.”

Vanessa shrugged. “Normal teens don’t have robot brothers who destroy roofs at six on a Saturday morning. Hey, Perry. I didn’t think you’d be here this early.”

Perry tilted his fedora to her.

“I sent a distress signal to OWCA since I was locked in my bedroom. And then a certain agent who I won’t name decided to knock my door off its hinges while I was leaning against it,” Heinz muttered. “In addition to teaching robots certain bad habits like breaking people’s homes. I told you he’d be influenced by your dynamic entrances!”

Offended, Perry pointed accusingly at Heinz.

“Well, it’s not my side he gets it from!”

Heinz stood up, discarding the frozen peas on the couch. Perry got into a fighting stance, but before either of them could start brawling, Norm strolled into the living room, cheerily humming the Muffin Man song as he set a tray of blueberry muffins on the coffee table.

“GOOD MORNING, DAD! GOOD MORNING, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!” Norm said. “VANESSA AND I MADE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!”

“I’m not done with you, Perry the Platypus,” Heinz said, his eyes lighting up at the sight of the tray. “But we’ll continue this after muffins.”

He nearly swallowed a blueberry muffin whole, then his eyes widened. He rushed to the kitchen, coughing and sputtering all the way as he hurriedly gulped down a glass of water.

Vanessa and Perry sampled a small piece, grimacing as the saltiness exploded across their tongues. And to think Heinz actually survived after eating a whole muffin.

“ANALYSIS SHOWED THAT THE LAST CONTAINER WAS SALT, NOT SUGAR,” Norm said, projecting a holographic image of a chemical formula.

“You couldn’t have said that before we used it?” Vanessa sighed.

“FORGIVE ME. MY OBSESSION WITH IMPRESSING DAD TENDS TO OVERTAKE MY RATIONAL THOUGHTS.”

“At least you’re self-aware,” Vanessa muttered.

“You made how many of these things?” Heinz asked incredulously, taking note of just how much flour, salt, batter, and leftover muffins coated his kitchen. “Alright, do you know how weird it is that this place is a mess and for once I’m not the culprit behind it? I’ve heard of role reversal, but that’s just weird.”

Vanessa agreed as she broke out the cleaning supplies. “So, clean up and blueberry muffins at the café?”

“DO I GET TO TRY COFFEE?”

“No!” Heinz said, pulling on a pair of gloves. “Your systems are for making good muffins and assisting me in evil, not for caffeine.”

Perry and Vanessa shared a knowing smile when Heinz wasn’t looking. It was progress.

“Dad, you can go scheme or something if you want,” Vanessa said. “Norm and I can clean. It’s our mess.”

Heinz shrugged, continuing to scrub at a stubborn crack where flour had settled. “I know, but you and Norm and Perry the Platypus are always helping me clean my messes. I want to return the favor.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Vanessa smiled.

“Anytime, sweetie.”  

Courtesy of Perry, a new photo was displayed on the mantle within a week. Heinz was covered head to toe in flour after a mishap with a leftover bag, Norm was rebooting after his squirrel escaped from its wheel and wreaked further havoc, and Vanessa was trying to do damage control around the sink area.

It was the best photo she’d ever seen of her family.

[toopliss-chewtoy]

HiJack Week Sum. 2018 Day 4: Past Accomplishments

A never before published but old as hell fic counts as Past Accomplishments, right? This has been sitting in my ‘to edit’ pile for way longer than I’d care to admit... So enjoy! Lots of super sweet fluff!

Summary:  Two huge-ass grocery bags filled with sugar, butter, chocolate and other ingredients was not how Hiccup had envisioned this Friday night to go. Warnings: n/a Size: 2299 words Also on AO3

Cupcakes

At long last, he was home. If he walked through that door, he could forget all about work. Once he put his key in the lock and twisted, it would be just him and Jack and maybe a cocktail or two with mandatory chill-time on the couch. Just a few more steps and it would be weekend.

He dropped his bag in the hallway and kicked off his shoes. “I'm home!”

No response.

“Honeypot, my sweetest dear?” Hiccup called out in a high little pitch. He walked into the living room. No Jack. Kitchen? Ditto. He wasn't taking a nap on the bed either. All there was to greet him was their cat and a note on the kitchen table: 'doing groceries – Jack'.

Hiccup shrugged and made himself a screwdriver with a liberal amount of vodka. He had no plans for tomorrow, after all.

Right when he was done, he heard the front door. He turned and was about to take a sip... but the glass froze mid-way to his mouth. Jack came into the kitchen with a big, fully loaded shopping bags in each hand and his little sister in tow.

“Hey, Hic!” Jack gave wide smile with a hint of apologetic worry in it. Before Hiccup could press him on that, Emma flung herself around his waist, almost making him spill his precious cocktail.

“Umf! Hey Emma, long time no see.” He gave her a little hug. “That's a surprise!”

“Good thing you like surprises!” Jack said. “Cause I have another one!”

Hiccup squinted at his boyfriend. “Jaaack, what's in the bags?” This guy was up to no good, he knew it.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

“Is it that bad?”

“Cause I love you a lot!” Jack came over and took the cocktail, taking a little sip. He scrunched up his nose – too strong, probably.

“Out with it.”

“You see, Emma has a baking-sale tomorrow at school.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I kinda said I'd help her out.”

“Jack promised to bake tons of cookies and cupcakes with 100 flavours!” Emma happily chipped in. She beamed at Hiccup and Jack in turn, obviously very excited about it all. “We just did the groceries, we can make TONS of stuff!”

Hiccup forced a smile. “That's sweet. Why don't you go give Toothless a treat, we'll get started here.”

Emma didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed the pack of treats from the cupboard and ran off to find Toothless. The moment she was out of the kitchen, Hiccup fixed Jack with a deadly look.

“You promised what.”

“Well we don't actually need 100 flavours...”

“Why do I only find out now, huh?” Baking a shit-ton of cupcakes and cookies was not the Friday night Hiccup had in mind. “You need these tomorrow! Why just now?!” Hiccup hissed. Jack shrunk away more and more, holding up his hand apologetically.

“She asked me a month ago and-”

“A MONTH?!”

“-and and I forgot! Come on buttercup, please don't kill me!”

Hiccup took a big gulp of his cocktail and squeezed his brow. “Damnit, Jack.”

“I can't say no to Emma... I’m really sorry, cupcake.”

Hiccup sighed. “Fine. I’ll help. Also, poor choice of petname.”

“I owe you one.” Jack promised. He gave his disgruntled boyfriend a hug, but Hiccup’s scowl only partially dissolved.

“Oh no. You owe me a lot more than just one.”

Emma came back into the kitchen, followed by a black, meowing beast. Somehow she always managed to twist Toothless around her finger; a feat not many were able to pull off. “What can I do?” She beamed at Hiccup.

“Let’s heat up the oven then…”

Dinner consisted of take-out pizza while the first batch of cupcakes was in the oven. They settled into a cycle of alternating cupcakes and cookies, with Hiccup making all the batters and Jack and Emma taking care of putting it in/out of the oven and bagging things once they had cooled down. Cookies were iced, the more wildly flavoured cupcakes were decorated, and everything got a nice foil, bow, and tag thanks to Emma. All the while, Hiccup himself was receiving an inexplicable amount of love too.

“You feeling bad for making me bake?” He asked when Jack was hugging him from behind once more.

“A bit…” He kissed Hiccup’s shoulder. “But I have to say I also quite enjoy it.” Jack slapped Hiccup’s ass. Hiccup frowned, mouthing ‘behave’ at his SO.

Immediately Emma dissolved into giggles. “There is a hand on your butt!”

Then Jack had to leave the kitchen for a bit, or he would find out exactly how sharp their kitchen knives were first hand. Later, when his back was turned, Hiccup took revenge by dropping ice down his shirt.

“I’ll geeeheeet you for that!” Jack promised as he performed the icecube dance. Emma and Hiccup just laughed… until a sheet of rolled fondant landed square in Hiccup’s face. And then there may or may not have been some flower and chocolate chips flying around. A full-on food-fight was only narrowly avoided, but Emma still needed to take a thorough shower before she could go to bed. Turns out blobs of unbaked cookie are very tasty, but also very annoying to wash out of your hair.

While Jack tucked Emma in, Hiccup crashed on the couch for a bit. He was deathly tired, and they weren’t even half-way yet.

He felt Jack sit down next to him. He kept his eyes closed.

“Thanks. You saved my ass.”

“You make it sound like we’re already done. We’re only just half-way.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. I think.”

“You think?” Jack softly punched his shoulder and Hiccup creaked an eye open.

“You’re the one making me bake so much.”

“You’re going to use that against me for a long time, aren’t you?”

“Yup.” He closed his eye again. He felt Jack’s lips against his cheek and smiled a little.

“How many kisses would it take?”

“A gazillion.”

“That’s not even a number.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it isn’t!”

“It is.”

“Is not.”

“No no, I know how much it is. I’ll tell you when you’ve reached it.”

Jack kissed him again. “Now?”

“No. That was two.”

“Now?”

“Nu-uh.”

“Now?”

“Keep trying. Maybe-” beep beep beep beep.

Hiccup sighed and got up, dragging Jack back to his feet as well. “Aaand back to work. Only about half a gazillion cupcakes left.”

As time progressed, more and more cupcakes and cookies of various flavours started to fill up the inlayed boxes Jack had bought. At the same time, more and more hugs were exchanged, as Hiccup was drained of his last bits of energy. He shoved a new batch into the oven and threw his arms around Jack, who was wrapping cookies. He buried his face in Jack’s shoulder.

“You smell of sugar.”

“How sweet of you.”

Hiccup giggled, mumbling “Sugar daddy”.

“What?!” Jack tried to turn around, laughing. “Did you just call me daddy? You never call me daddy when we-”

Hiccup put a finger on his lips. “Pumbaa! Not in front of the kid.”

“Oh. Sorry. Ahem. WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOG!”

“Very nice.”

“Thanks!”

Hiccup stared into the bright blue eyes of the love of his life, and he realized two things: 1) Jack was just as tired as he was, which reduced the kisses required to just a mere billion, and 2) he too was trying really hard not to dissolve into a fit of giggles. His eyes twinkled and his lips were pressed tightly together to keep from bursting into laughter in a most unflattering manner. Hiccup chuckled… and that was the beginning of the end. He could feel Jack’s chest start to shake. Teeth broke through that smile and giggles poured forth.

“You’re saying I smell too, pegleg?” He managed between fits of laughter.

“I never -- hahaha -- never stand down- hihi -- downwind from you for a reason!”

It probably wasn’t all that hilarious. But then again it was late and he had had a few cocktails already, so anything could be funny at this point. Hiccup clutched at his sides as they roared with laughter. They held on to each other to stay upright. It really didn’t help when Hiccup fashioned a hula-skirt from a tea towel and started to do the hula-dance like Timon. Jack fell over, nearly taking a tray of cookies with him. They were wheezing when the oven bleeped the next batch was done.

“You dork.”

“Hakuna Matata.”

And there they went again. It was nothing short of a miracle they didn’t let those cookies burn.

Their temporary burst of energy didn’t last forever though. Another batch was in the oven, and wrapping was all ‘wrapped up’. Hahaha. Ha.

They were dead. They crashed on the couch together. As soon as they were comfortable, Hiccup put his head on Jack’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“I love you.”

“I’m glad you still do.”

Hiccup wanted to reply again, but talking was just… so much effort. While simply thinking a reply and keeping your mouth closed was so much easier. Just like keeping your eyes shut was so much nicer than forcing them open again. Maybe just a little nap. The oven would wake them up again.

The oven did not wake them up again.

The fire alarm did.

WHIIIOOOOO WHIIIIOOOOO

“Holy shit!” Hiccup shot upright, instantly wide awake. He ran to the kitchen with a slightly groggy Jack on his heels. There was smoke coming from the oven. Hiccup opened it and was forced to step back, coughing. Black smoke filled the kitchen and he rushed to open a window. Meanwhile, Jack shut up the fire alarm.

“What’s going on?” A sleepy voice said from the doorway. Emma was standing there with her cuddle-bunny.

“We had an accident,” Jack explained, picking her up.

“Are the cookies all right?”

Hiccup retrieved a black baking tray from the oven.

“It’s all right. Lets go back to bed.”

When Emma was asleep again, they decided to take turns on the couch if they wanted a break. That way one of them would always be awake, and prevent this from happening again. Hiccup got the first nap.

The oven time did wake him up. He went to the kitchen, to find Jack taking care of things. Finally, the last batch was done. All the butter and sugar and flour had been converted into sugary goodness. There was only some stuff left to package, but it wasn’t much. Hiccup squinted. Wasn’t there supposed to be one more cupcake on that cooling rack over there? There were only 11, but a tray held 12. Maybe Jack ate one?

Jack took a break while Hiccup finished up in the kitchen, covering everything so cakes and cookies wouldn’t dry out or become soggy respectively. Then he called it a night. They’d package the rest tomorrow. It was already - he looked at the clock - HOLY SHIT! It was 4am! He groaned and trudged to the couch. Jack was sort of half sitting half lying on it. His mouth hung open and he was snoring quietly. Hiccup smiled. Very charming.

He sat down with Jack and snuggled up against him.

“Jaaaack. Beeeeed.”

No response. He shook his arm, being more insistent about going to a surface intended for actual sleeping instead of their couch. But Jack groaned and mumbled ‘no’, and went right back to sleep.

Too tired to argue, Hiccup gave in. Jack’s arm was an excellent pillow too. His hoodie was nice and soft, and even though eh smelled a lot more sugary and flowery than his usual self, it was still nice. Jack was safety and comfort. The white-haired man was usually more vocal about it, but Hiccup really loved him just as  much. Pressed close against his boyfriend, he quickly dozed off.

“You guys should marry.”

Hiccup moaned and opened his eyes. His neck and back were about as flexible as two slabs of concrete, and felt just as heavy. Sleeping on the couch in that position? Not his best idea ever.

“Emma? What?”

“Cause you are cute together!”

“She’s right. We are adorable,” Jack mumbled.

“Oh shut up. We need to finish wrapping.” With a groan that would put any eighty-year-old to shame, Hiccup sat upright.

“You got some chocolate on your cheek.” Emma pointed out.

“Oh. Thanks Em.” Hiccup wanted to wipe it off, but Jack beat him to it by licking his face.

“Jack!” The brunet protested.

Emma ran off to the kitchen making ‘ewww’ sounds and both men laughed. “Well. You make breakfast, I’ll finish with the wrappings.”

By the time Emma was ready to be driven to school, all sweet delights were nicely packed up for the drive. Emma was already at the door, bouncing happily, but Jack needed to say goodbye first.

“I’ll come back quickly, I won’t stay the whole time. Mom will be there too.”

“It’s okay. I’m probably gonna nap in bed.”

“First I want to give you this.” Jack went to the fridge and rummaged around in it. Then, he produced a cupcake with a huge, gorgeous rose of icing on it. Resting in the middle of it was a chocolate heart. “Made this for you. While you were asleep.”

“Awww. That’s so sweet! I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Youtube. Took a few tries but hey. Nothing less for my darling dear.”

“Oh please, you’re so sweet it’s making me sick.”

“Also you might want to shower before you go to bed, you’re a mess.”

“Ah that’s more like it.”

“Jaaahaaaack! Come on!” Emma called from the hallway.

“You better go before she sets the cat on you.” Hiccup warned.

The white haired man laughed and kissed him. “K thanks bye.”

[suspendrs]

12. and/or 14. for the larry drabble 💖

“I’m coming over.”

“No-” Louis starts, but Harry hangs up before he can say anything more, slipping on his shoes to shuffle down the hallway to Louis’s flat. The smell of burning gets even stronger when Harry opens his door, and he follows it all the way to Louis’s door, letting himself in without even knocking first.

He catches Louis standing in the kitchen, filthy apron tied around his waist, looking mortified. The entire flat is full of smoke, so much that Harry chokes the second he closes the door behind him, and he pulls his t-shirt up over his face as he squints at Louis.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Harry says, rushing into the kitchen. “Jesus, open a window!”

Louis drops his oven mitts and turns quickly to open the window, letting the smoke filter out. “I was trying to bake some muffins,” Louis says, gesturing sadly to the tin on the counter full of charred, vaguely muffin-shaped bricks.

“What on earth did you do to them?” Harry says, poking one to make sure it’s cool enough before he picks it up to inspect it.

“I forgot about the first batch,” Louis says. “And then for the second batch I accidentally set the timer for three hours instead of thirty minutes,” he admits.

“You’re a disaster,” Harry laughs, fanning some of the smoke out the window with a baking tray while Louis dumps the second batch of muffins into the bin. “What are you doing baking muffins at 10pm on a Tuesday, anyway?” he asks.

“Uh,” Louis says, blushing a little. “I was taking your advice, actually.”

“My advice?” Harry frowns, glancing over at him.

“Remember I was telling you about that guy I like?” Louis says. “And you said I should try to impress him by taking an interest in his interests?”

“I remember,” Harry says, trying to hide the sinking feeling in his chest by picking up another one of Louis’s failed muffins, knocking it off the counter a few times. “He’s into hockey, then?”

“He’s into baking,” Louis says, rolling his eyes. “I think, anyway. I was just going to leave a muffin basket at his door in an attempt to flirt, but instead I nearly burnt the whole building down.”

Harry laughs, albeit weakly, tossing the muffin in his hand into the bin. Louis’s only lived here for a couple of weeks now, but they’ve gotten pretty close in that time, close enough that Harry’s pretty sure he’s completely in love with him already. He mostly blocked the memories of Louis asking him a few days how he thought he should go about asking out this guy he’s been interested in, and now Harry’s wishing he told him to take a shit on his doorstep, or something, if only to give him a little more time to make Louis fall in love with him in return.

“Well, I’d be pretty impressed if I were him,” he says. “You make a mean lump of coal.”

“Fuck off,” Louis laughs, snatching the muffin out of Harry’s hand and throwing it away. “Will you please help me make a good batch? I just really want to impress this guy,” Louis says, pouting his lip at Harry. Harry wants to kiss him, wants to grab him and propose to him and then suck his dick, but instead of doing any of those things, he shrugs.

“Sure.”

And so goes the rest of Harry’s night, helping Louis make his mum’s famous blueberry muffin recipe with a sick feeling in his stomach, knowing that he’s going to leave here tonight and Louis’s going to bring these muffins to some other guy and the guy is undoubtedly going to fall in love with Louis on the spot because, like, who wouldn’t, and then they’re going to get married and Harry’s going to be alone for the rest of his life because he’ll never get over Louis and-

The timer goes off while Louis’s in the bathroom, so Harry gets the muffins out of the oven for them, setting them on the counter to cool in the tin. He spends a few minutes just staring at them, contemplating spitting in them, or putting something really gross in them so that the guy Louis’s trying to impress will be horrified and turn him down. Before he can do anything, though, Louis comes bouncing into the kitchen and hugs Harry sideways.

“They smell so good,” he says, leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder and gazing happily at the muffins. “Thank you so much for your help, Harry, really.”

“No worries,” Harry says, voice quiet. “When are you going to bring them to him?”

Louis freezes a little, hesitating for a split second. “Oh, I-” he says, frowning. “I’m a bit nervous now. I think I’ll bring them in the morning, maybe?”

“Probably your best bet, it’s pretty late,” Harry says.

“You should go home and get some sleep, here I am occupying your whole evening,” Louis says, dragging Harry to the door and ushering him out. “Goodnight, Harry! Thank you again!”

With that, Louis closes the door, and then Harry’s just alone in the hallway without even a single muffin for his trouble. His heart aches as he shuffles back down the hallway to his flat, falling into bed and trying not to think about the fact that Louis is getting ready for bed thinking about someone else. He falls asleep on top of his covers, exhausted and sad, and sleeps through the night with the scent of the muffins still lingering in his mind.

He wakes up in the morning to someone knocking on his door, but he takes his time going to answer it, not even bothering to glance through the peephole before he opens up.

He finds Louis standing there in the hallway with a basket full of the muffins from last night, a hopeful smile on his face. “Good morning,” Louis says, chewing on his lip.

Harry frowns, blinking down at the muffins and then back up at Louis’s face. “I thought you were going to bring those to the guy you like?” he says confusedly.

“I am,” Louis says, sounding the slightest bit nervous. It’s only then that Harry realizes the way Louis is blushing, and it matches the way he was blushing all night last night, every time either one of them mentioned the person the muffins were for.

“What?” Harry asks, his brain slow to catch up.

“It’s, um,” Louis says awkwardly, pushing the basket forward a little in offering. “It’s you. The guy I like.”

Harry just blinks at him again, and Louis’s face slowly turns redder.

“Well, shit, I guess I’ve grossly misjudged the situation,” Louis says, looking away from Harry’s face. “I, uh, I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

“Wait!” Harry shouts, for too loud for the hour, and Louis looks back up at him hopefully. “I’m the guy you were trying to impress?” he asks, smiling slowly.

“Yes?” Louis says, matching his smile hesitantly. “Was I not being as obvious as I thought I was, or are you just thick?”

“Both, probably,” Harry laughs, his heart beating so hard he thinks it’s going to beat right out of his chest. “Do you, um, wanna come in?”

“Yeah,” Louis says, hugging the basket of muffins to his chest. “I really do.”

send me a number for a drabble

[softspideys]

Fire Alarm (Peter Parker x reader)

summary: you accidentally set off the fire alarm. peter takes the blame. fluffiness ensues.

warnings: none

prompt: “it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm ... I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking” mashup from this list 

word count: 2.1k

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: this was another anonymous request!!! and i am not exaggerating when i say that i LIVE!!! AND!!! BREATHE!!! for college aus!!!! hope you enjoy:)  

It was three in the morning and the fire alarm was going off. And not even just the one in your dorm room; the screeching seemed to come from everywhere. You blinked groggily and wondered if maybe this was just some sort of weird dream.

But you could hear people outside your dorm room running up and down the hallways, yelling to each other as their footsteps thundered on the floor. Everything began to soak in as you grew more and more awake. “Oh, shit.” You got up, swinging your legs out of bed. Your roommate was gone for the night, so you put on some shoes and grabbed your keys before you ran into the hallway as the noise grew louder and louder.

Your RA was directing everybody down the stairs. “Don’t use the elevator! Use the stairs!” she cried. She noticed you and gave you a push. “Let’s go!”

“What’s going on?” you asked. 

“There’s a fire!” she exclaimed, although you’d pretty much worked that out for yourself by now. You were hoping for some better details, but she gave you another push and you reluctantly started walking with everyone else.

You descended the stairs and made it safely out of the building and onto the sidewalk, which was still full of people despite the hour. You recognized other residents of your building standing around; some were dressed in their pajamas while others looked like they were just about to go out.

You found yourself standing next to two guys you vaguely recognized from floor meetings. The three of you nodded at each other somewhat awkwardly before focusing your attention back on the building. A gust of cold wind blew by, making you shiver.

“Fuck, it’s freezing,” you hissed to no one in particular, rubbing your arms. It was the middle of November, when the days were cold and the nights were even colder.

“Here,” a voice said. You glanced over and saw one of the boys was peeling off his sweatshirt, leaving him in just a gray t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

You felt your cheeks involuntarily redden. “Oh no, I’m okay. I don’t wanna take your jacket.”

“No, really,” he insisted, brandishing it at you. “You’re in just a—I don’t mind, seriously.” He nodded to your tank top and pajama shorts.

“Thanks,” you muttered, pulling the sweatshirt over your head. It was warm and soft on the inside, and smelled of fresh detergent.

“I’m Peter, by the way,” he said. “And that’s Ned.” His friend leaned over and waved.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself. “Sucks about the fire alarm, huh?”

“Totally,” Peter agreed, and Ned nodded.

“What room are you guys in?” you asked.

“435.”

“Oh. I’m 407. That’s probably why I’ve never really seen you.”

“Yeah, I’d have remembered,” Peter said, before his eyes widened. “I just meant—we know pretty much everyone on our end of the hall, so—so I would’ve known if you lived down there—not that you’re not—”

“Dude,” Ned advised. “Stop talking.” To you, he said, “Pretty girls make him nervous.”

“Oh,” you said, amused and also kind of endeared. “Should I go somewhere else, then?”

“No!” Peter said quickly. “Gotta face my fear at some point, right?”

You laughed. “Smooth.” Another cool gust of wind blew by and you clutched his sweatshirt tighter around you. “Jeez, how much longer are we gonna have to wait out here?”

“Has anyone called the fire department?” a girl nearby asked.

“Is there even a fire?” a boy demanded.

“I don’t even see smoke,” Ned said, scanning the windows of the building.

The fire department pulled up shortly after and did a full inspection of your building, only to come out and announce that there was no real threat, just a typical case of badly burned food that had set the smoke alarms off. “We found this,” one held up a tray of what appeared to be about a dozen black rocks, “in the communal kitchen. Looks like someone was trying to make some cookies and forgot they were in the oven.”

Your stared at the tray in horror. “Oh God.”

Peter looked at you. “What?”

“Those—those are my cookies,” you whispered, feeling sick to your stomach.

“Those are your cookies?”

“I—I was bored and hungry so I put some in the oven but then I got tired and fell asleep while the last batch was baking and—oh my God, everyone is gonna kill me.” You glanced around at your peers; yep, everyone looked pretty pissed at being forced out of their beds because of some cookies.

“We know no one is going to come forward and accept the blame,” the fireman continued, “but just in case, if you do, you will not be punished.”

“Yeah, not by the fire department,” a boy near you muttered. “But I can’t guarantee I won’t kick their ass myself.” The people he was standing with laughed.

“God, what kind of idiot forgets about their food in the oven? We could’ve died,” another girl was saying to her friends, who all nodded solemnly.

You bit your lip, trying to force back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. You knew you should speak up, but you also knew that everyone was going to hate you for the rest of the year if you did. Which was worse, being hated or having to live with the guilt?

Before you could make your decision, a voice said, “Those are my cookies.” You turned your head so fast you almost got whiplash.

Next to you, Peter was raising his hand, a determined look on his face. “What are you doing?” Ned mumbled. Peter ignored him.

“These are yours?” the fireman asked skeptically.

“Yeah, they are. I wanted a midnight snack but I fell asleep while they were baking. I’m really sorry everyone.” He flashed a sheepish grin, and you watched as the angry looks on everyone’s faces slowly disappeared.

“Damn it, Parker,” a guy called. “Don’t be such a dumbass next time.”

Peter saluted. “You got it.”

The firemen handed Peter the tray of burnt cookies and warned him to be more careful next time before they left. That was it: no punishment, no consequences. Everyone began to file back inside, but you stayed where you were, gaping up at him. “I can’t believe—why did you do that?” you asked. “You don’t even know me.”

He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. You seemed upset.”

“No one’s even mad at you,” you said in disbelief. “Why is nobody mad at you?”

“No one can be mad at Peter,” Ned answered as the three of you started walking to your building. “It’s like being mad at a Golden Retriever.”

“Thanks,” Peter said dryly. “But yeah, I guess people have trouble staying angry with me. It’s almost like a superpower of sorts.”

“So what, you just use this power to help random people all the time?”

“No, you were my test run,” he said cheerfully. “Good thing it worked.”

You stared up at him as he held the door for you. You were no longer looking at some random guy on your floor who’d saved your ass—you felt like you were looking at a superhero, a king, a god, even.

“How can I make this up to you?” you asked as you climbed the stairs.

“You could keep better track of your cookies,” Ned said, only half-joking. You made a face at him.

Peter shook his head. “It’s no big deal, honestly.”

You climbed to your floor and made it to your room. Peter and Ned had to walk past you to get to their own, so you turned and waved as you unlocked your door. “Thank you, Peter Parker,” you called gratefully. “Seriously.”

He smiled at you, his cheeks turning a little pink. “Don’t mention it.”

You’d never admit this to anyone, but after you shut the door behind you, you leaned against it and sighed just like a lovestruck protagonist in a teen rom-com. And then you cursed yourself for being such an idiot and embarrassing yourself in front of a cute guy.

He didn’t seem weirded out by you, though, and he had voluntarily taken the blame for the fire alarm incident. But still. You groaned and covered your face with your hands. Of course that had to be the first impression you made: a forgetful idiot who baked cookies at three in the morning for fun.

You were exhausted, so you just decided to go to bed and hopefully everything would end up being a bad dream. It was only when you climbed back into bed and snuggled under your covers that you realized you were still wearing his sweatshirt.

________

The next morning, you gathered up the cookies you had that weren’t burnt, put them on a paper plate, and nervously left your room and went down the hall. You also carried Peter’s sweatshirt, which you’d carefully folded.

“435, 435,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked down the hall. You came to a stop at room 435 and stood there, trying to give yourself a pep talk. It was just a boy. A dorky boy at that. A dorky boy who yes, had saved your ass the previous night, but was a boy all the same. This was fine.

You took a deep breath and knocked. A few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal a very shirtless Peter Parker.

“Oh!” you both said at the same time.

“I’m so sorry, I thought you were Ned—”

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“I guess that’s why there’s a peephole, I should’ve looked, fuck I’m so sorry—”

“I just wanted to properly say thank you, I didn’t realize that—”

The two of you spoke over each other and then abruptly stopped at the same time, both of your faces turning redder by the second. “Just—give me one second,” Peter squeaked finally. You nodded, trying not to stare at his surprisingly nice body, and he shut the door.

Jesus. What was with this dude? Why couldn’t he just be a regular douche-y college boy? Why did he have to be so friendly and cute and endearingly awkward?

Peter opened the door a minute later, this time wearing a t-shirt. “Um, I’m really sorry about that. Ned went to some group study session this morning and I thought you were him.”

“That’s okay,” you said quickly. “I, uh, I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“No, you didn’t! I was awake already.”

The fact that Peter slept shirtless did not do much to relax you. You swallowed. “Um, well, I just wanted to return your sweatshirt. And give you these,” you brandished the plate of cookies at him, “to say thank you for saving me from being persecuted by the entire building. And for giving me your sweatshirt. And for not hating me when you found out I was the reason you were standing in the cold at three in the morning.”

“Oh!” Peter accepted the plate and the sweatshirt. “I thought you burnt your cookies?”

“That was the last batch. I made two more before them,” you said, embarrassed.

He took a bite of one and his eyes widened. “Whoa, these are so good. Are they homemade?”

“No,” you said with a small laugh. “They’re the slice and bake kind. Tollhouse, I think?”

“Aw, man. You should’ve lied to me; I was ready to accept that you were some kind of pro baker.”

“Not a pro baker,” you said, shaking your head. “Pro idiot, maybe.”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, did you forget about the disaster that was last night?��� you asked, raising your eyebrows.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re calling yourself an idiot because of that?”

“You wouldn’t?”

“No.” He shook his head. “You accidentally set off the fire alarm, so what?”

“Yeah, so what?” you said sarcastically. “Easy for you to say. I doubt you’ve ever made a complete fool of yourself in front of someone you thought was cute.” The last part of the sentence came out before you could stop yourself, and you felt your eyes widen.

Peter stared at you, his eyes equally huge, before he said quietly, “I just did, though. A few minutes ago.”

It took you a few seconds to realize what he was saying, but when you did, you felt a shy smile creep onto your face. “Oh.”

Peter smiled back and opened his door a little wider. “Do you—would you maybe want to come in?”

“Yeah,” you said, and it might’ve been a little too enthusiastic but for once, you didn’t care. “I’d love to.” You went inside and he shut the door behind you.

It was no surprise when you were still there two hours later, sitting on his bed, sharing the cookies, and discussing your theories on Star Wars and time travel and anything you could think of, really.

But seriously, how it took another hour to finally get to making out was truly beyond you.