#guy who will be like people deserve good things in a world without bad people to ruin that
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I firmly believe that Kabru is autistic but masks so hard that he’s convinced himself and (almost) everyone around him that he’s neurotypical.
That man’s special interest is people and how they work, but he just thinks it’s him Being So Good At Socializing — like he doesn’t spend 95% of his time people watching and adjusting his personality in response to the traits he witnesses and obsessing over the intricacies of human interaction while mapping an ever growing relationship chart in his head. For fun. He even admits it in the manga!
Like, look at him!!!
It’s such a shame that — because he’s the narrative foil to Laios and his interest is generally considered more “socially acceptable” in both their world and our own — more people don’t realize this about him. He’s constantly misinterpreted as a horribly manipulative person who only acts the way he does to use the people around him, when that’s explicitly shown to not be the case at all. Kabru is naturally empathetic and is almost always thinking about other people, regardless of whether or not they’re right there with him or a thousand miles away.
I mean, his most defining motivation is his desire to do everything he can to avoid another tragedy like the one at Utaya. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t have a goal like that, and they most certainly wouldn’t go about it the way he does. He’s constantly working to help people who can help everyone else and tries so hard to make sure that anyone who seems like a threat is actually someone he needs to worry about before doing anything about it. His supposed aversion to Laios is only because of the ridiculous trolley problem he’s set up in his own head.
Outside of that, he (rather justifiably) hates monsters but is desperate to understand Laios’ love for them and his apparently most selfish goal in getting close to the guy was literally just to become friends with him.
When he’s interacting with the canaries and they imply that they’re going to take him and all of his friends to the West, his first thought is of Rin and how much she’d hate to be stuck in the place that gave her so many bad memories.
He helps Kuro learn Common when Mickbell is asleep and firmly looks forward to the day that the half-foot and Kuro can communicate properly so that their relationship can get properly started without any miscommunication.
And he understands Mithrun with only a handful of weeks AT BEST interacting with him, getting enraged when the elf seems to give up and immediately trying to help him find a new motivation for life.
I’m excited just thinking about the day that Kabru starts unmasking more and more around his friends — both new and old — because if being with my current friend group has taught me anything, it’s that hanging out with anyone so unabashedly themselves is bound to make you more comfortable with yourself too. It’s part of the reason why I like Labru so much! There’s something nice about imagining them hanging out in the throne room or laying in the grass outside and talking for hours on end about their special interests. They might not strictly understand what the other finds so fascinating about monsters or people, but they can grasp that shared feeling of love.
They probably influence each other in really good ways too, with Kabru helping Laios figure out what people are thinking even when it doesn’t make sense or Laios helping Kabru understand that not everyone and everything needs to be analyzed a thousand times over. They both get to learn that there are people like them and people who will love them without them ever having to change a thing about themselves. They deserve to know that they’re fine the way they are.
#I have so many more thoughts about these two#like how Laios is actually the one who couldn’t really care about people outside of his immediate friends and family#that his love is the one that would burn down the world if it meant the people he cared about got to be as safe and happy as they should be#always as themselves#never as the corrupted versions of them in their nightmares or by the winged lions distortions#which is how Kabru would learn to be more selfish and needy#encouraged to act on his own desires and help other people at the same time#these two have ruined me#especially Kabru#because I’m predictable and my other two favorite characters are Tachihara Michizou and Nara Shikamaru#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi kabru#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi laios#laios touden#dungeon meshi rin#rinsha fana#dungeon meshi mickbell#mickbell#dungeon meshi kuro#kuro#dungeon meshi mithrun#mithrun#labru
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DPXDC: I wanna be like most girls ghosts.
or Danny: What should I do to make my mom happy?
or ~Danny deserves a little teenage rebellion as a treat~
Maddie: I just want this damned Phantom to stop pretending to be a hero! All ghosts are pure evil, who is he trying to deceive? Danny: Oh, really? And Danny took it personally.
It’s not Danny’s fault that he’s a good kid and wants to make his parents happy. But why would he have to be a monster to make them happy? Why must they hate him to be happy?
Danny’s obsession was going crazy.
Well, when your own parents call you a monster in the face, it hurts. Why do they always believe that only their opinion is the absolute truth? They have no idea how much worse things would be if at least some of the ghosts really behaved the way Maddie and Jack think they’re supposed to. If he really is evil by nature, is there any point in fighting his own fate? They want to see him as a villain, he will become one. He will. He just needs a little help and practice. And not bring it to the level when Clockwork has to clean up his mess. Poor guy is without a vacation for how long? Couple of millennia?
Johnny 13: Sup. Danny: F*ck off, Johnny, I’m not in the mood. Busy thinking about world domination. Get out of here or I’ll call Kitty. Johnny 13: What’s wrong? You’re usually so grouchy only towards the end of the week. Danny: Nothing. Just parents. Again. They are wonderful but I can’t help but feel sometimes that they, em… Johnny 13: Suck? Danny: Right…Damn. I’m a terrible son. Maybe something is wrong with me. Johnny 13: What? No, no, dude. You’re just growing up. And you’re a little late, usually teenagers go through that stage before they graduate. Well, you’ve probably been busy with other issues, so just missed it. Danny: I wonder whose fault it is. Aren’t there ghosts who enjoyed to ruin my life in the middle of school day?
Johnny 13: Oh, bother. Anyway, you’re entering a beautiful time of emancipation, where you’re going to shape your own view of life and, along the way, to get drunk on cheap alcohol at parties, maybe to go to jail and to become the greatest disappointment to your family..And then you will be ashamed to remember it for about the next ten years. Danny: Well, it looks like I’ve already done two out of three additional things. Great success. Johnny 13: When did you get drunk? Danny: I didn’t. Johnny 13: Oh. Want to fix that? Danny: What? No. What an idiot wants to add a headache to his problems? Johnny 13: Well, your loss, then I’ll go terrorize the bars of Gotham alone and no one can stop me. Let’s see what your boyfriend will say about it. ~~~~~ Danny: Bartender, another shot of Dead Man’s Fingers, please. Red Hood: Babe, haven’t you had enough? Danny: Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sacrifices you make, in their eyes you’ll always be nothing more than a monster? Nothing more than a mistake? Oh, Death doesn’t give people like me a break. Red Hood: …I’ll have what he’s having. *gives the bartender a sign to switch the rum shots to a batburger milkshake for them, and starts talking to Danny so that he doesn’t understand Hood's scams*
~~~~~
Johnny 13: Other people’s kids are growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday he didn’t know how to shoot ectoblast, and now.. Kitty: Stop trying to make me feel bad, we’re leaving. Johnny 13: But the boy needs our support, honey boo!
~~~~~
Danny: I'm fine. Really, I am. This isn’t the first time mom’s called me a monster. She often called me that when she was upset with my behavior in my childhood. Huh, it's even funny. Jason: There’s nothing funny about that. Danny: No, you don’t understand. Looking back, I was really a very active child and didn’t know when to stop. Not surprisingly that I often annoyed my parents. They’re very busy people, and Jazz couldn’t always keep an eye on me. And I was often afraid to go to sleep alone because there were shadows in the darkness of my room. Well, I used to think they were. But I pretended everything was okay to not distract parents from work. Jason: Hey, it’s not your fault. You were a child. Obviously, kiddo requires a lot of attention, they must have understood that. You are the second child in the family, right? Danny: Well, Jazz was different. I don’t know. Anyway, I thought if the monsters behind the curtain and under the bed were just like me, well, according to my mom, you know, then they wouldn’t want to hurt me. And since they look after me, they are friends. So I kinda greeted all the suspicious noises and howls. Huh, I was a strange kid. Jason: If you smile at someone in the dark alley right now that someone is more likely to wet themselves or faint. Danny: Rude! I’m not that scary. Admit that I’m adorable. Do it right now. Jason: Stunning, darling. But still carry a gun and a knife, please. My childhood taught me that what's hiding in the dark is worth beating up. Danny: Come on, what should I be afraid of? Death? Anyway, I want to try this shit. Like, the inevitable one. Being a bad boy, you know? Hood *raises eyebrows*. Danny: Oh damn it man, I'm talking about ghostliness. I want to try to be like most of dead ones. I want to unleash my side of the trickster and the villain. But only a little bit. I have to be supervised so that things don't go too far. Would you help me, honey?
~~~~~2 hours later~~~~
~~~~~
Goons used to expect a lot of weirdness from working with the boss.
Sometimes Bruce Wayne would go into their base and yell at the Red Hood like he's one of his kids. Of course Wayne's well-known as 'Gotta adopt them all' but the guy must really suffer from insomnia to count the Red Hood into his brood of chicks several times. Sometimes the boss would fight Robin or Nightwing over differences in morals…or for biscuits. It varied from moment to moment. Sometimes the boss caught the local street children, fed them and taught them to steal correctly. And most of the foundlings stayed with them under their protection.
To make a long story short, Red Hood is not the typical crime lord that some of them had to deal with before. Which is a blessing. Thanks Lord for the health insurance. But still the crime lord. Which means he's still scary, and sometimes deadly.
Anyway, when the boss brought in a guy who looked more civilian than any civilian in the whole Gotham and said he was going to be their intern, they thought it was a joke at first. Despite the fact that Hood was not in the habit of joking while working.
The teenager was too well-mannered and sweet to come from Crime Alley. Phil thought the guy was gonna run when he saw the first murder, Jessica didn’t think the domestic boy wouldn’t chicken out at the sight of a fight. But arguing with a boss’s orders in their profession is like asking for a bullet in the head, so these conversations were taking place outside of their boss's sight. God, how can they teach him anything? What do you take from a boy who’s only good to do the coffee run? Fenton will fall if they’ll give him something heavier than 10 pounds. And then boss will yell at them because he treats the new guy like a princess on a pea. Well, at least that’s what they thought until the boss decided to give the new guy his own assignments:
~~~~~
Red Hood: So, what have you learned during your internship, my young Padawan? Danny: Well, it looks like I’m gonna suck at being a criminal mastermind. I think I may have to find myself some other profession. Red Hood: Come on, you just need a little more practice. Danny: Thank you but I don’t think that’s fit my obsession that good. Don't misunderstand me, I wanna be like most ghosts. But I was wrong to go to hit that goal only base on human stereotypes about my nature. Red Hood: What a pity. The newbies just learned not to flinch when you walk in. But, to be honest, I'm not gonna miss the adrenaline-boosting roller coaster of you at work. Danny: Oh, and I guess to hold on to the concept of humanity was really stupid too. I clearly no longer fit in and I’m finally ready to accept that. So, hopefully, if you get into trouble, you can rely on my ghostliness and call for help. I am the spirit of many talents and of my word. I can haunt your enemies or walk through the walls of Arkham Asylum. Whatever you need, I’ll be here. Red Hood: I’ll bear that in mind.
#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc crossover#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dead on main#dead on main ship#alcohol
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So I imagine a Reader and Bakugo are neighbours and their parents are friends so she’s known him since they were children but he dosent really care— anyways going to the future, reader confessed to Bakugo in middle school however since he dossnt get much attention from girls since they always ignore him he didnt know what to do and just reject her harshly, little did he know he started to develop feelings and it got worse when they both moved to UA💀. To make it worse reader made friends with Izuku lmao,,,
How do you think he would handle the crush thing and treat the reader before and after the war?
Before the war, he would definitely be super distant with Reader. Besides, Bakugo is the kind of guy who doesn't comprehend his feelings very well, so that leads him to suppress them until he explodes. Once he realizes he can't hold them anymore, he starts taking care of Reader in a super subtle way, like he makes sure she's good, she has eaten, that she doesn't strain herself too much on training, that she doesn't have any problem with tests and her assigments but if you think that if she has those problems he would approach her? You're wrong. If she's bad at training, he would send kirishima to train with her saying something very harsh like: "That loser can't fight for shit," and Kirishima would scold at him saying back: "that's not very cool, bro" and he would go and help you. He knows his people, so he knows how to play them.
After war, he realizes that everything can end in a second. After he dies and miraculously revives, he has a new vision of the world. He has a new vision of Deku, of his friends, of his family, and of course you. He needs to make amends.
Everyone is in delicate state after the war, physical injuries, and mental injuries. Every single person he knows is battleling with PTSD including you. After you heard him that he died and the tragic news spread almost as fast as the news of Todoroki taking down his own brother, you felt something breaking inside your chest. Your heart was ripped in two.
You knew that confessing your love to him wasn't very clever of you, and because of his response (or the lack of it), you thought that it'd be easier for you to forget him. You wished your feelings would be gone when you entered UA. But, just because the world hates you, they were still there, and even worse, they intensified.
So when you heard he had died and then revived, you decided to take a leap of faith and let your feelings be.
After the tumultuous end of the war, you haven't seen much of your classmates. Everyone was at home, including you, trying to heal wounds and getting a well-deserved rest.
You were admiring the ceiling of your room when a faint knock on your door snapped you out of your trance.
What you saw was like a mirage. Not even in your craziest dreams would you believe that this would ever happen to you.
"Are you busy or something?" He asks, taking a peak in between the door and the frame.
You are now sitting at the edge of the bed, shaking your head without talking.
"Then what are you waiting for? Come with me, " he huffs like it is the most obvious thing to do.
You two walked together to a nearby park where you used to play with Izuku when you were kids. He guided you to the swings, taking the one on the left, leading you to sit on the right.
The silence is heavy but no awkward.
"Are you feeling okay, now?" You ask, breaking the silence.
"Yeah," he says in a sigh.
You grab the chains of your swing and play with your feet until you reach some sort of rhythm that keep you swinging.
"I know you're wondering why I brought you here," he imitates you moving at the same tandem.
"I mean, we haven't been here since we were kids...is this some sort of reunion I'm not aware of? Is izuku coming too?" You ask with enthusiasm.
That was the thing with you, after you two kinda fell apart and took differents paths, you stayed with Izuku, you kept being his friend and that boiled Bakugo in a way that, in the past, he didn't understand. But now, everything was different. Now he understands that you needed Izuku and Izuku needed you.
"No. Just you and me, " he says. And he prays that in the near future it could stay like that.
"Oh," it is the only thing that comes out of your mouth.
Again, the silence.
In your skin, you could feel how he was fidgeting and turning every gear in his brain to say something, but Bakugo wasn't good at words.
"Okay, I'm gonna say it anyways," both his feet stop in the ground, doing a screeching sound that has you stopping your swinging too. "I was an asshole. I'm still an asshole I think, but I want to make this right. I apologized to Izuku, now you're next, so you're gonna listen to what I have to say. That day when you said those things to me and I made fun of you? I was wrong because since that day I can't get you out of my mind. I tried to, but I never could. Then everything was shit timing, and I didn't have the time to tell you this, but now, seeing what can happen I'm done fucking everything up. I'm sorry. I know I mistreated you, you didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry I did everything wrong"
The way he said that, like he was verbally puking on the ground, got you breathing like the air was limited. The first thought in your mind when he appeared at your bedroom door was that you were dreaming, and now you needed somebody to actually pinch you because you weren't understanding anything.
"Say something," he partly begs and grunts.
"What can I say? You appeared out of nothing, then dragged me here to say what I've been waiting to hear for like two years, and I've been picturing this in my mind for those years and in every scenario I know what I'm going to say but now I'm completely empty, nothing comes to my mind" you murmur more to yourself than him.
He was stoic. He didn't remember a time when he spoke that much to you, so he felt like it was the first time he had heard your voice in decades.
"In those scenarios, you cursed me?" He asks.
"Oh boy, I cursed you in languages that don't even exist." There's a mixture between a sigh and a laugh that erupts from inside of you, melancholy, you could tell, looking to the sky being the exact opposite of what you feel. Bright and blue, perfectly clear.
"Do you want to do it? I mean, I can take it without spatting back, " he shrugs nonchalantly. You raise both of your brows at him. "What? I can do that!"
"Sure," you say sarcastically. "So, that's it? You came here to say sorry? I accept your apologies"
You were being honest with him. There wasn't any bad blood between you two, and after what happened, you really wished that you two could get along again like old times.
Bakugo felt the same. He still had mixed feelings about you. Everything that happened made him realize how short life can be and how he shouldn't be wasting any more opportunities. He was about to verbalize that when he felt your hand on top of his.
"I hope we can be friends" you say.
Your smile is bright, and your eyes are sincere. And for the first time, he smiles at you, hoping and wondering that you could be more than just friends.
#mha x reader#bakugo x reader#my hero academia#bnha bakugou#bakugo headcanons#bakugo smut#bakugou smut#my hero academy fanfiction#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader
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🌲 a found family l max verstappen
summary. you and max can't spend Christmas together but a trip to his dad and the love he has for you make him realize that he deserves better. a better life. a better love. a better family.
words count. 2,596
a/n. and this is the last piece for this Christmas series. Thanks to all of you for sticking me through December. and a massive thanks to my favorite person @monzabee for encouraging me and for giving me this beautiful idea to end the series 🫶
a very angsty Christmas l masterlist
You looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing a dress Max had bought you this year during one of your holidays. One of the many gifts he did to you this year, because if there were one thing that could describe your boyfriend it would be his generiosity. That man could buy you the world if you wanted it.
And that was maybe what was making him the saddest tonight.
He could see you wearing it and neither could he offer you his gift.
Because you were not spending Christmas’ eve together. But in each other’s family.
“You know this look is a great excuse to skip the diner at my dad’s?” Max asked which made you laughed. He was still sit on your bed, his shirt barely closed and his hair absolutely not styled. He was the closest to his place, compared to you who had to drive for almost two hours.
He watched you as you walked to your phone, that you had put on your wardrobe to show your whole look. “You’re such a flirt, Maxie.” you kept laughing, specially when he started making his poutty face that you absolutely love. You always found it funny how most people saw him as this arrogant guy when he was such a sweetheart.
“Ain’t I allowed to flirt with my girl?”
“You are. It’s a shame you won’t enjoy the result of this flirt tonight.”
This hasn’t been an easy decision for either of you. It’s was only your first christmas together since you started dating on january. And you really wish you could have spend the evening together. But you learn one thing through this past year: never go against Jos Verstappen’s plan.
From the first race you attended, you got the feeling Jos didn’t really appreciate you. You tried to talk about it with Max without making a whole drama out of it but he didn’t really react. Or say anything, actually.
Not that Max didn’t care. It was even far from it. He just didn’t know what to do. He never talked about his personnal life with his dad and it wouldn’t be a first now. Specially not with these type of question. Max always assumed that his father only care about his racing career. It couldn’t be that bad if he wasn’t interested in his son’s couple. Right?
“I have to go” you told Max, who was lost on his thoughts. He enjoyed for the last few seconds to sight of you before you had to hung up. “Call me if you need, alright?”
“Even if I don’t need it.” he laughed before letting you go.
Every time he had to say goodbye to you, on the phone or because you couldn’t follow him for the next race, Max felt a little hole in his heart. He never thought one day he’ll met someone that could complete him like you did.
That’s all he thought about until he arrived at his dad’s place. All the thing he wanted to do with you before the new season starts, where he would take you during the holiday, which races you could be there and what places he wanted to show you during these weekend. More than just happiness for your couple, Max realised how important you were for his anxiety. Before he met you, most of the time he had to drive to see his father, he was anticipated all the bad things that could happen. The critics, the disapproval, the yelling if they really did disagree on something. And the worst part was that, in the end, he was just living the nightmare before it happened.
And maybe it was the fact he didn’t think about all these things before arriving, but Max felt good when he arrived.
“Uncle Maxie!” And being around his nephew was definitely a good help.
For many years, Max never consider having children. The anxiety he developped because of his own childhood was a perfect argument to avoid trying. How could he give a child what he needs if he doesn’t know himself what a kid should have? He knew what he shouldn’t do, that’s all.
But these past weeks, from seeing his nephews and calling them, he realized that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.
And maybe, you weren’t for nothing in this change of mind.
“You’re shinny, uncle Maxie.”
“Shinny?” he laughed, still playing with the little cars that represent all the Formula one drivers.
“Yep. You’re happy.”
Max didn’t know what to answer to that. But then he felt two hands on his shoulders and a kiss from Victoria on his hair. “He’s right.” He turned around to look at her. He guessed that the look she had was just another proof that indeed, he was lookier happier. “It’s for the toast, come.”
It was some kind of tradition. Everyone had to say what they were grateful for at the end of this year. Kids, health, career… each other always revolved around these subjects. Max was not going to break the circle. Not today.
“Well I’m grateful for the amazing year I spend. Winning the championship again was more than I could expect at the beginning of the season. So yeah I’m grateful for the team, for the work we did to win the races and create such amazing memories all together.”
Max stopped for a few seconds, thinking about what he could be grateful for. There was one thing, obviously.
If he met his father’s eyes, he wouldn’t have continued. But he didn’t. He looked at Victoria and her massive smile.
“And I’m grateful for my girlfriend. I couldn’t have go through this crazy year without her. She’s my rock, she’s my best friend, she’s without a doubt my soulmate and I’m glad I could finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Max heard all the lovely and loudly sound from his family. And before he could notice her, Victoria was already in his arms, telling him how proud she was that he finally found the happiness he deserved.
Again, he could have focus on the good thing, all the congratulations and excitement about this new family member that they all couldn’t wait to meet. But this time, Max did saw Jos look on him. One that he sadly knew by heart: disappointment.
At first, Max decided to ignore the situation and spend most of the evening playing with his nephews, pretending to be a car himself to drive them around the house. But he couldn’t escape the heavy atmosphere forever.
Max saw that Jos was sitting by himself in the living room, with a whisky in his hand. He hesitated, did he really wanted to break all the good vibes for a talk for his dad? And then again, he was too nice to avoid him. No matter if he knew he would end this conversation with some broken feelings, Max couldn’t escape it. Because if there was one thing he was sure about, it was that he never wanted to become like his father. A man that would rather ignore the people he love for the sake of disappointment. Silence was never the solution.
“So, how do we feel about new season?” Max asked, sitting next to him. If there was one subject they couldn’t really argue about was his career. Or at least, even if there was some disagreement, it wouldn’t end up badly.
“You have to leave her.” It was simple. Five words. Said with a hard tone. Like an order. “You’re already losing your man over that…stupid girl. You can’t let yourself fail for a woman, Max.”
Maybe he should have gone with the swerve, in the end. “What do you mean? I’ve been with her for a year and I still won.” He could have, maybe, understand if the season was a pure fail. But it wasn’t. The car was amazing and he won almost every races. There was not single doubt that not only you weren’t a burden but you were a motivation for him. It didn’t make sense. But still, Max knew where all of this came from. Because he knew his father.
“A woman is always a burden in a career.”
“This is why you got married thrice?” It left his mouth without Max had time to notice it. Truth is, he got tired as he grow older of the need to think about his words. What could he say what he mean to his dad? Why should he still be afraid? “Trust me, you terrible at giving relationship advices.”
“You should watch your mouth.” Jos replied, taking a stew towards his son. For many years, Max used to step back to avoid the confrontation. Not anymore.
Instead, he took at step towards too. “You should watch yours. I won that fucking championiship, again. And you can’t even congratulate me? All you think about is the woman that want to spend her life with me? Not you, me.”
He noticed the change, again, in Jos look. It was getting darker and darker, like his anger was taking over himself and he was close to not be able to contain himself. Usually, Max was scared of the moment he would explode. There was just one change in his mind. You.
Max could accept any criticism about his career or life choices, he didn’t care. It was his life. Sometimes he might be wrong and he could deal with his dad saying that he warned him. He was still young and could deal with some mistakes.
But there was one thing he could never let Jos critcize or give his opinion on it: you.
“I won’t let you ruin your career for some stupid woman.” Jos got the time to grab his wrist. Max hated feeling like a child, all over again. Looking for his dad approval.
Expect that this time, he didn’t want it. “Fine. It’s my career. I don’t need your opinion.” he managed to free himself and was already leaving the room. He couldn’t continue this without letting it become some shit show. No matter the situation, his family didn’t deserve it. Specially not on Christmas eve.
“If you don’t leave her, then i’m not supporting you anymore.”
Max stopped in the middle of the room. He heard the sound of a glass falling in the kitchen sink. He heard the sudden silence in the children’s playroom. This was the results of year of fighting for Jos seeing him as an equal, as a real driver and not a child who wants to grow older and be consider an adult. This was the results of feeling like his dad loved him.
Max was hurt. But he couldn’t fight anymore. “Fine.” he didn’t turn around, didn’t want to look at his father. It wasn’t the idea of seeing him. It was the idea of Jos seeing how bad he broke him, again. “I’ll do better without you.”
The silence was still everywhere when Max walked to his sister to kiss her and said goodbye to his nephew. It was for the better, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fight if they asked him to stay. But Victoria knew his brother, and what he deserves was to be in a place where he felt loved.
And there was one where he knew he would never be ignored and rejected.
When you opened the door, you imagined different scenarios. But never one where you would see Max on your doorstep. “Baby?” you asked with confusion, almost like you were sure he was real.
“I’m sorry, I should have called, I know i wasn’t invited but…” he didn’t need to continue. Because you recognized the look in his eyes. One you sadly saw before. When he argued with his dad on the circuit and you couldn’t do anything than holding him in your arms. Telling me it would get better. That he wasn’t alone.
That was the only truth Max needed. He was far from being alone.
So you offered your hand to him. “Come in baby.” you noticed the little hesitation in his look, on that sadden you. It wasn’t that Max didn’t want to come in. It was a pur fear of opening his heart to you and losing you after. It didn’t last long, because he knew deep down that you were here to stay. But you were scared that this was a kind of thought that would never leave his mind.
You gave him a small and simple kiss on the lips, a kind of silent promise that you were supporting him. It wasn’t much, but it was more than Max even asked for. He was so not used of being understood and loved, this simple attention was enough to light up his heart again.
“Sweetie, who’s th… Oh Max! What a lovely surprise!”
You were interrupted by your dad who almost push you away to take Max in his arms. You weren’t surprised. First, because your dad was a very lovely and tactile person who couldn’t resist this type of greeting. Second, because he appreciated Max so much, he was probably the one praying every day for a wedding. Third, because he had been asking you all night why you didn’t bring him.
But Max, on the contrary, was more than surprised by that. Was he really that happy to see him? “Come in, you’re getting cold. Did you eat? We have…” you didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence that your dad had already pulled Max to the living room. Your boyfriend just had the time to turn around and give you a curious look. To which you replied with a smile. It felt right to see him being appreciated and treated like he should.
All your family spend the night talking to him, asking questions and making him feel like he was home. That was the truth, actually: this place was also a home for him. It was yours. And your family already considered him as a part of it. There was no reason for Max to not be a full member.
It wasn’t until you got to bed, in your bedroom, that he let his mind speak. You were laying on his chest while he was looking at the ceiling and caressing your hair. It was relaxing for both of you to stay in silence after the crazy night you had.
“I’ve felt much more at home here in a few hours than in all my life with my dad.” Max said slowly, in a whisper.
You turned your head just enough to look at him while he was still focused on his thoughts. You were making a whole speech in your head to make him feel better. You had no idea how he felt about this. This must be such a strange situation to feel more loved by your family-in-law than your own.
But then he put a kiss on your hair and started to smile. “Thank you.” he whispered, like he was scared to be heard by anyone else. “For finding me and for loving me.”
You could feel your heart melt at this confession. “Thank you for opening your heart to me.” you replied.
And you stayed like that for a good minute before you made a debrief of the whole evening here. When you both fell asleep, you realised you had the greatest gift you could ever dream of. Happiness in the arms of your loved one.
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen story#max verstappen fic#max verstappen angst#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#my writing
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You know... >.>
My Dad always used to tell me, if I get a Genuine Genie(tm)? Get a lawyer first. Before I make my Wishes(tm), so they can help me word them correctly.
Obviously, a human lawyer would not be foolproof... BUT! What about a Ghost Lawyer?
Like? Obviously Desiree would be PISSED. How DARE you twist HER wish twisting! Her THING is "what you believe is your heart's desire always comes at a terrible cost" which is what she DIED to learn.
So obviously she would NEVER, willingly, bend her Obsession for ANYONE. And you'd have to make a DAMN good case to that Lawyer for why he ISNT breaking the law by helping you. Probably some "you can: save the life of an unconscious person against their will/shove an unobservant person OFF the train tracks, even if they get hurt, to save their life" clause.
Like? Using a ghosts Obsession against them? Bad. Illegal.
Using it against their will, to save OTHER ghosts, who are in immediate danger? Not illegal, but they will be PISSED. Still not great though, you will want to apologize and fast.
So like??? Reality Bending Power. Patrick Star Method of "what if we MOVED the city... somewhere else?" Considered at 1am. Team of Ghost Laywers, acquired.
Amity and all Limnals are REMOVED from the DP-verse.
Wish worded juuuuust so. Any ghost that forms there? Yoink! Instantly removed to the Zone. Natural Portals? Cut off. Let the whole Reality fade out at an accelerated rate, as no NEW energy is fed into the system. Entropy will do, what entropy does. Exactly as they wished it.
They hated Death so much, they speed up the heat death of their ENTIRE universe by Eons. Congratulations, you guys "Won". Enjoy the wildly more fragile flora, fauna, and general ecosystems. Now that none of you have that ambient Ectoplasm strengthening your bodies. Yeah, the things you used to shrug off? Those are gonna maim or kill you now.
Doesn't MATTER if you "learn your lesson" though! Cause this is WAY past that point! This is "cutting off the tumor before it kills us" territory, and buddy? Amity ISNT the tumor. Go forth a grow, just like you wanted.
They won't be here to fix your messes anymore.
Because Danny got himself a dictionary thick "I Wish..." contract. Which was worded, as it needs to be, in one loooooooong run on sentence. Shouted "I Wish what's written on THIS, as it is currently, and without any form of editing or negotiation!" As fast as he could. Yote the document in Desiree's direction. And Flew like an INCANDESCENTLY pissed off Genie was trying to set his everything of fire.
Which she was.
Thankfully, Paulina came in clutch with her History of all things Jewelry, world fashions, and Make-Up knowledge. That, coupled with the Power Of Rich Friends(tm)? (Sam. Her mother was THRILLED to take her Jewelry and clothing shopping for something other then blacks and dark purple. They went on a jet setting whurl-wind tour. Sam actually kinda liked a some of what she found.)
They have Apology Bribes.
They shamelessly HIDE behind the mountain of Apology Bribes, while they explain themselves. Is Desiree HAPPY? No. But those bracelets are magnificent and she DOES deserve nice things. Those silks will really bring out her eyes. And she... DOES... admit...
Maybe...
That things are not... SAFE. Any longer. Danny TRIES. Everyone else can see it. And he's made incredible strides! Even convinced his lunatic parents. Though they're still not quite POPULAR. (WAY too pushy and invasive with their questions, for most people.) But the fanatics in white?
They nearly killed Box Lunch. If her father hadn't BEEN there...
And the poor man will have that scar on his back for the rest of his afterlife. Desiree can see why Danny is pushing. Does she LIKE it? No. But...
She supposes she will content herself with the suffering of the Fanatics in White and all who support them. THEIR wishes, twisted. Their ugly heart's desires.
Fine.
"SO YOU WISH IT. SO IT SHALL BE!"
And? The ghost town of what WOULD of one day grown into Amity, had the witch's there not been found by those they had fled from, which sits in long rotted ruins, amongst the trees in nowhere Illinois? Poof! Two "Towns" are switched.
The roads out of town coming to a clean line stop, meeting not even goat paths. Just trees. Old growth.
But it's not ALL of Town, is it? Faces missing. New, confused, faces from every corner of the map, taking their place. No Limnal left behind. No supporter of the GIWs genocide, brought along. Family's kept together where they could be. But by the few, scared and upset, green flashing eyes of children in the crowd?
It seemed for some, it was easier to fear and hate, then love their children.
Already they were being gathered up by school teachers and PTA parents. As everyone tried to figure out what had happened. Concerned, quite muttering a dull roar as everyone tries to coordinate.
Red Huntress joins Danny and Dani in the Sky. She doesn't get a word in. Wanted to know what the HELL was going on. She was with her dad in Chicago! Dani was in Taiwan! Literally! As in, sitting in a SUBWAY station one second, the next? Outside!
But they don't get to demand those answers. Because there is a sonic boom on the horizon. And then? Floating... weird... not ghosts?
Uuuuuuhhhh?
Hi?
That much blue... sure is a Statement. Like the cape and... bloooomers? Shorts. Bikini bottoms? It.. it's a Cool Look, dude! No, really. They are being VERY supportive here! If YOU like it? That's the only thing that matters!
Red Huntress smacks the Danny/i's Repeated upside their heads and demans to know what the Not-Ghosts are doing in their airspace.
Oh YEAH. Good point! What she said! And can it WAIT? They're kinda going through A Thing right now...
Kon? Wants it on record he loves these guys. They're hilarious. The LOOK on Clark's FACE?? He wishes he could frame it. Preserve it for future generations. Thing is? There was NOT a town here a second ago.
Well, bout 30 minutes or so, but you get the idea. One moment? Tree noises. Bam! Thousands of people! Obviously the checked it out. Only to be met with two... three maybe? Heros who have NO IDEA who they are.
Clear Reality warping shenanigans. Might be time travel or multiverse. Question is... are they STAYING? And if SO? What now...
@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter
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it is. it's their fault, and those rotten adults' faults, and this messed up world's fault, but yuri lets the platitude wash over them anyway, for all that they actually believe in it. bernadetta means well, they know, but they made those choices all one their own, even if it had been the only one afforded to them.
your mother dies or you do—it hadn't been a question to yuri then and it wouldn't be one now, either. they would choose her life again and again, over everything that was their own, for mother and son have had nothing else in this world but one another. what would they do with themself, if one day she was gone?
bernadetta stumbles over herself with accommodations, always far too kind to them despite everything. “saints, no,” they breathe, hand coming up to clutch at her wrist. yuri can't help it, though. they do ponder the offer of her turned away, wonder if it would help at all, but decide her back turned to them would be far worse in the end. they tug her gently. “just—just sit. don't freeze.”
just convince me i'm wrong. just convince me i'm allowed kind things without the expectation of more.
they nearly bite their tongue just to banish the thought. to be allowed kindness without the knife they always expect will follow is not a privilege they have ever had. it is a dangerous privilege too—they must always expect the knife, brace for the retaliation, shield their heart so it is never pierced. it is how yuri has survived until now.
“and you shouldn't, you know,” they say, quieter. trust me, they mean. but yuri knows that she means every word. it's worse that they know she means every word, in fact. because if they could just convince themself she was lying, then they wouldn't ever have to think about what this is. give and take is the way they negotiate all their relationships—but what are they doing here but taking and taking and taking without giving her anything but a life's worth of trouble in return?
but bernadetta means it. and yuri can't convince themself she's lying.
it's trouble, yet they're only letting themself sink further and further into it.
“remember,” they start abruptly, because they'd rather fill the silence with other things than let those thoughts have time to settle, “when you would drag me to go nap in the garden?” yuri remembers. sometimes, it aches more than they expect it to, in a way it never had before they met bernadetta again. “i was supposed to be working, you know. you're lucky i heard anyone coming before we got caught.”
and because it is turning out to be a night for honesty, they confess one more thing than they normally would. “...sometimes i miss when life was that simple.” why is being her friend now infinitely more complicated than it had been when they were trying to kill her?
...well. maybe because they had never really been trying.
* woven back from violence .
anni '24 | heavy armor +1 ▪ ▪ ▪ yuri & bernadetta
#hermidetta#.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ﹙ woven back from violence . —interaction. ﹚#i told myself i was gonna reply to our older threads first & then i reread this thread and blacked out :crylaugh:#the yuridetta brain cell activated at full force and who am i to deny it#the lies we tell ourselves (this time for sure we will be normal about yuridetta)#sometimes i want to smack yuri over the head#guy who will be like people deserve good things in a world without bad people to ruin that#then turn around and be like haha not me tho#really i think that's just because yuri genuinely sees themself as a villain#they believe their cause is good but they won't justify their actions in realizing it to be just#and that's fine. they don't really want or need their actions to be rationalized as good#because they will do whatever they have to even if it is morally wrong#the better world they strive to see is not for them anyway but for the people around them#so they'll be the one to dirty their hands for everyone else's sake#ANYWAY sorry off topic tangent aside did you know i really love yuri leclerc LMFAO
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The Problem with the League of Villains
this is just me ranting after reading many people say that the lov deserved a better ending (i agree with them don't worry). most of that stuff has already been said but i'm bored and need something to write
so why is everyone disappointed?
by definition, an antagonist is someone that goes against the main character(s) and a villain is someone who does immoral and/or illegal things (wow, shocking)
so by definition, the league of villains is aptly named. shigaraki and dabi are mass murderers, toga is a killer too, and even if the others are 'less dangerous' they're all guilty of terorism and kidnapping a teenager.
not nice, right? then why would anyone would want them to have a good ending?
long story short: horikoshi made the league too sympathetic and relatable
when horikoshi has decided to make them funny, he's decided to make them likeable. that's not enough though. you can find a fictional villain funny and not root for them (for some reason the examples that comes to my mind are the disney villains. captain hook is hilarious but no one wants him to win)
the cause of everyone's disappointment is the relatable part. everyone in the league has gone through stuff viewers can relate. touya, shigaraki and toga have been abused; twice has mental health issues (and stuggling to get a job is relatable too lmao); spinner has been discriminated against... you get the idea
and even without knowing their backstory, most of the league's fights can be considered noble: they want to change society and make the world a better place. to take a more precise example, the league kidnapped bakugou because they thought he had gone through similar struggle as them
(this is mr compress talking in chapter 85) as far as i've seen, most of the fandom either think bakugou being chained and muzzled at the end of the sport festival was just comic relief or agree that it was fucked up
so yeah, you can't put a group of people rejected by society, who just want a better world and expect people to not like them
and that's why their ending is disappointing (the rest contains heavy spoilers of the last few chapters of mha)
they're all either in jail or six feet underground. we rationally could understand it, they're all criminals/villains so of course they wouldn't get a happy ending and face consequences for their actions. the only one who could have gotten away with it is shigaraki because of all the grooming/brainwashing he's gone through and maybe toga because she's a child
but if you relate to a character, you want them to get a happy ending. of course fans would want dabi to be at peace, but instead he's forced to spend his last moments being stared at by his abuser). of course fans would want shigaraki to be free from afo (but instead his only freedom was death). of course fans would want toga to be understood and cared for (but she never had that opportunity)
that's not very 'save to win' out of you horikoshi
maybe it's just a shortcut made by the fandom, but the league are seen more as victims of abuse than actual criminals. i mean, what's more important in dabi's story? the fact that he burned himself alive after overworking himself to get his abusive father's attention, or the fact that he's burned people alive? probably both, but there's more focus on the first element.
and obviously we would want abuse victims to get a happy ending
basically, their ending isn't coherent with what we've seen of them, and that's why people are disappointed
btw, the same logic applies to stain. some fans agree with stain's reasoning bc he's fighting against corruption. of course, his logic is stupid and he's delusional but he's introduced not long after we've discovered shouto's past. you can't say "one of the most popular heroes is abusing + all he wants is to get n°1 to satisfy his own ego" and then follow with "see that guy fighting against corruption? he's bad, don't do that"
the clever way to make sure no one would agree with stain would have been to make the heroes fight against injustice with good methods. i live for the fanfics in which izuku takes down the hpsc
okay i'm done ranting thanks for reading
#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha 430#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#mha dabi#touya todoroki#toga himiko#mr compress#spinner#twice#hero killer stain#excuse my grammar#my french ass is to lazy to make sure i haven't made mistakes#bnha critical
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My Michael Afton throughout the years! ft. his own little doodles. I'll try to be brief about the timeline and how my Michael was without saying too much since it'll be explored in the Hidden Hands AU fic's chapters anyway so I won't say all the details. Feel free to read if you guys like! I have a lot to say about him.
1983 (FNAF 4) - Michael was 12 or 13-ish when the Bite happened. Very reckless yet adventurous kid. Didn't really hate Evan (William, as much as he had a soft spot for Evan, still loved Michael all the same), just had really bad friends and influence (his friends were mostly bullies) - and didn't really like that he's being told to parent a little brother he had no idea how to take care of. It didn't help that Evan tended to be a tattle-tail sometimes about the trouble he was getting into. Michael also, deep down, got scared of what the bullies would do to him if he dared stand up for his brother or spoke out against them, so he ends up going along with what they did for his own sake. After the Bite, Michael was still deeply guilty about what he did to Evan, and it haunts him every night, knowing he had no good excuse but irresponsibility for what he did to his brother, because after all, it wasn't like William wasn't giving him enough attention. Michael just knew that he deserved anything unfortunate coming to him, but is genuinely surprised that his father kept telling him he loved him all the same. From this point on, he becomes easily troubled, tends to stay close to his dad. Makes sure he follows the rules and doesn't do trouble. Just wants to do a complete personality shift, and is deeply ashamed of who he was before. 1985 (Charlie's death, Fredbear's Family Diner shuts down) - Michael was 15 here. Over the years, he slowly isolated himself from most of the people in his life since he gets worried about his past scars coming back to haunt him. Mostly a recluse and reserved. He's not handling things well after Charlie's death and a family divorce - not to mention the non-existent social life he had. Just prefers to be left alone, but he's nice if you get to know him. Doesn't really have a good relationship with Elizabeth, but is actually pretty close with William. Feels extremely guilty and hates himself/blames himself for Charlie's death. He gets paranoid easily, as he thinks whoever took Charlie is now after him, but his father tells him to not worry too much about it. 1987 (FNAF 2) - (17) Slowly having a good relationship with Elizabeth. Starts to get into stuff like the supernatural and becomes superstitious to a degree over the years. In public, he's mostly polite and nice, but his actual personality shows through whenever he's with his father or Elizabeth - he's sarcastic, and has quite a dark sense of humor, can be a bit of a rebel, he's just more subtle about it. A bit of an over-thinker - he gets lost in his imagination/head easily. Has a (surprisingly) good relationship with his dad, as he's not really afraid to be himself around him - sometimes gifts him funny things or something he knows his dad would love/would use (he gifts William a rabbit's foot - for good luck, he says). He also helped William build the Fun-Times with blueprints and other technicalities (He's not really aware of the questionable features they had, unfortunately). He couldn't really come with his father and Elizabeth on Circus Baby's Pizza World opening due to things he had to catch up with his home-schooling, he had been skipping classes to work on the Fun-Times, but he really wanted to graduate highschool with a bang, so he's giving everything his all, here. Then Elizabeth suddenly goes missing all of a sudden, and, well... I would say more, but my fic sort of takes a canon-divergence route around FNAF 2/SL-FNAF 1 so that would spoil half of the stuff I've been working/writing about! Reference-sheet wise, I just wanted to show how he progresses from a rebellious, happy and adventurous kid into a more reclused, anxious and soft-spoken adult. Sorry for the long post! I've just been wanting to talk about him for some time now. There's a looot more that I've left out but yeah that's because there will be more in the fic!
#yeah in this au my michael and william actually have a decent father-son relationship even after the bite. even after all that will's done.#michael just... isn't aware of what his dad did yet for the meantime.#ik william isn't a great father at ALL in canon but let me WRITE my AU the way i want okay?#hidden hands au#fnaf au#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf fanart#michael afton#mike afton#fnaf michael afton#fnaf mike afton#long post#my art
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Dark features/people as blessed, white and light people as sick
ladyoftheseastuff asked:
I'm writing a fantasy story where the world is permanently covered in snow & ice. The people share a common culture & are loyal to their city states, but they are not homogeneous in appearance; there will be many, many characters coded as PoC. The main religion centers on the sun, & those with dark features are 'favoured' by the sun god, while pale people or anyone who has white/blonde hair are thought vulnerable to "snow sickness", a disease caused by environmental factors (1/2) & have other rules and customs to gain religious approval. It's dangerous & infectious but not well understood. It affects social standing and opportunities, but it's meant to be tied with ideas of youth, vitality, & fear of aging & sickness: it's not limited to those coded as white. This is a cultural detail and not part of the main conflict, but I want to avoid unintentional allegories/parallels & fetishization. Is this a concept that's too close to crossing any of those lines? (2/2)
This feels less like a means to show dark skinned people in an empowering light and more like a weak attempt at subversion. My primary concern (which you have not specified) is how do the "blessed" class treat the "sickly" so to speak. We have fantasy stories like The Grisha Trilogy and Girls of Paper and Fire, which deal with magical ability/feature-based segregation and conflict.
In both cases there is a sense of entitlement which comes with hailing from the "favoured" class, quite obvious, since there will always be an inherent othering metaphor whenever you create such a division, whether it was meant to be a source of conflict or not.
However, the two mentioned series use the "magical people are blessed, non magical people are to be pitied" arc which is somewhat more subtle than divisions created just on the basis of skin colour.
Disclaimer as I do not have albinism or vitiligo: The latter can be extremely harmful, and not just in a racial context, but in cases of albinism, vitiligo etc.
~Mod Mimi
The pitfalls of subversions
While it is always lovely to see dark features considered in a favorable way, there are some issues you may come across. Such a story could easily end up dressing those you wished to uphold as bad guys in the readers' eyes, even if the story's society and the sun god etc. thinks they're amazing, and white and light people as the victims of dark people, deserving reader sympathy. This may especially be the case based on how these groups get treated in the story.
These sort of subversions lean dangerously into "reverse discrimination" plots which are not overall accurate or favorable allegories for your real, human audience. There being diversity on both sides doesn't necessary fix this issue or remove racial or ethnic implications. On that note, and as Mimi mentioned, being demonized and ostracized particularly for skin and genetic disorders like albinism is already a thing. What does your concept say of them?
I think Dark/Black as good and Light/white as bad is a doable concept. Your concept differs a bit from simply subverting black/white tropes. This is not just Black good guys and night skies being peaceful or neutral. It's not just white/light villains (as opposed to victims) or snow symbolling death or sickness.
White and light people are quite blatantly being declared as sick and unfavored and they may very well be victims in the reader's eye with the dark people being the villainous, unsympathetic bunch. Is this your intention?
More to consider
Such a concept requires thoughtful, careful planning and intentional writing. You should have an understanding of what your story implies to the readers and the real-life takeaways.
I think it's possible to make dark skin the favored skin of the sun god without it meaning white/light people stand in a negative light and are sick or unworthy.
Consider what it is that you like about the concept of your story. Can you keep the essence of whatever it is that excites you about your ideas, without denying a whole group of people favor? If not, how will you go about telling such a tale that is not meant to symbolize a sort of reversal of roles discrimination?
Why does the sun god get to determine what is good?
Are there other gods that might have different strong opinions? Perhaps who is favored varies by time of day, season, region, culture, god?
Can dark skin get its favor without white and light features being deemed unfavorable as a whole?
How big of a deal does this favor have to be? I advise reconsidering it being the point of discrimination to white/light people for all the reasons already described.
No matter the directions you go, please research and get the appropriate beta-readers for feedback on the in-depth concepts and story.
~Mod Colette
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i dont know how to put this delicately. i dont know how to put it in a way that doesnt get me put on a fucking blacklist. but HONESTLY? im so tired right now.
please kill the cop in your head. like some of you are so into being a fucking surveillance state of 'this person talked to that person who followed this person who promoted this' and i just... guys. if no one is actually fucking being hurt?? and nothing 'inappropriate' is actually BEING promoted? why the hell are you telling people about shit you STALKED THEM to find out?? you genuinely dont fucking know people and you have a warped sense of morality about it. THATS whats going to get people hurt. when shit in this world starts goes south really soon and you start noticing the more open kinks of queer people on the internet, i sure hope you dont start selling them out as perverts just to justify yourself as 'one of the good ones'. cuz thats the slippery slope youre on with the way you talk sometimes. learn some fucking history about the ways in which these kind of justifications have been used in the past.
im a visibly queer adult with other shit going on i do not fucking care if someone has a side thing they arent fucking telling you about. its weird that youre telling me. im TIRED of you trying to tell me. im never gonna fucking answer these things because its MESSED UP! im not joining a fucking hate parade!
fucking kill the cop in your head. i mean that. its an important lesson to learn, and i get some of you are young and you dont get why yet, but one day youre gonna regret being like this. one day when you realize youve made people unsafe you will feel really fucking bad about it. this world is hateful enough right now without needing to fucking dog pile on people who are keeping to themselves. and if theyre not? block them and move on. why is that so fucking hard?
a fucking hate campaign game of telephone only serves to make people feel unsafe. I FEEL UNSAFE around you people. have you never been on the receiving end of group harassment before? i have. as a teenager! back when the internet was MORE anonymous than it is now! got my shit plastered on bigoted sites where people were sending me death and rape threats to my inbox every day for weeks. thats the end result of what youre doing to people. it WILL become co opted by those kinds of people.
just because something gives you an ick, it doesnt mean someone is a morally reprehensible person. it doesnt mean they deserve to feel unsafe in the world. block it and move the fuck on. youre going to get someone hurt. you probably already have.
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Part 1
Here is part 2!!! I hope you guys like it and it was worth waiting for. Thank you for all the love and support on part 1 🥹 it means the world. Enjoy :) never proofread
~~
Steve and Eddie raced to the school, anxiety in their veins as Eddie parked the van. Both boys ran into the building, following the sounds of screaming and cheering.
Steve pushed through the huge crowd, arms immediately wrapping around Y/N's body. Yanking her frame off of Jason, who is on the floor groaning in pain.
"STOP. STOP" Steve screamed, trying to keep his grip tight as she wiggled and squirmed to get out of his touch.
Eddie raced behind, going for Jason instead. Y/N doesn't fight unless she's provoked and he had a good idea Jason started it.
But Eddie's attention on Jason got caught short, hearing Steve Y/N's name as she marched down the hall.
~~
Steve didn't waste a second running after her. He let her walk away once, and he didn't want to do it again.
"Please, just stop" Steve pleaded, hand reaching out to grasp her elbow.
She hated that she melted once he touched her. She was mad at Eddie, but Steve hurt her too.
"what Steve? Now you want to talk?" She spat out, turning around to face him. Cradling her own elbow out of his touch.
"I'm sorry, I never should have let you walk away without listening to you first. You deserve to have the opportunity to explain." Steve confessed. He watched her closely. Her eyes were blocked off from any emotion. And her lips were turned down into a frown.
"no, I don't deserve to explain myself, I deserve to have my boyfriends trust me enough to not even think twice about a rumor like that. I also deserve to be treated as my person. Not a shell of the people who hurt both of you in past moments. I'm not Nancy, and I'm not whoever the fuck Eddie thought I was. I'm me, and you both didn't trust her. Fuck both of you. You followed behind Eddie's lead like a fucking dog. Don't you think for yourself, Steve? It's pretty clear where I stand compared to Eddie. " She said harshly, turning back around and marching out of the school.
Steve took the hit, he deserved it. He was a grown man and he should have thought for himself. He knew he was going to hurt her and he did it for Eddie's sake. He was supposed to treat both his partners fairly, and he just put one higher than the other.
~~
Eddie didn't waste much time with Jason. Spat out to leave them alone and followed the direction where Steve went.
Eddie found him alone in the hallway. Shoulders dropped, and Eddie assumed the conversation didn't go well.
"she still pissed?" Eddie asked, arm wrapping around Steve from behind. Steve shrugged him off and created space between the two.
"just don't touch me." Steve sighed, turning to face Eddie. Watching Eddie's face drop.
"what? What did I do?" Eddie scoffed
"We should have been better. And I should have thought for myself. With everything in me, I don't believe she cheated, and I should have told her that. I followed you and I lost her. And seeing this heartless monster you've been, I think I lost you too. If you believe she did it, that's for you to deal with. But I'm not following you anymore." Steve confessed, giving Eddie a small smile and turning to walk out of the school.
~~
Eddie's insecurities cost him both partners. And now it's on him to fix everything.
He always wanted to protect both of his partners, and he's the bad guy who tore it all up.
Eddie wasn't sure how Steve got home, but once Eddie made it in his trailer, he felt alone. He spent night after night in Steve's apartment, never returning home. He went into his bedroom, throwing himself face-first on his mattress.
He wanted to fix things altogether, he didn't want to talk to Y/N and Steve separately. If he was going, to be honest, and break down into pieces, he only wanted to do it once.
~~
Many phone calls later, Eddie got Y/N to answer. Most of his calls were answered with a scoff and the slamming of the phone hitting the wall. He barely could get a word each time. But this wasn't the time to give up. Once he finally got her to stay on the line longer than two seconds, he asked her to come over to talk.
And it wasn't easy. She was stubborn and still pissed off. Calling him every name in the book, dragging his name up and down the block, before finally sighing and saying "Be there in ten."
Eddie knew convincing Steve to come over would be easy, all he had to do was mention he has Y/N on the way over.
~~
The room was silent, and all three of them were uncomfortable. Y/N couldn't look at either of them, keeping her hands in her lap. Steve kept his eyes on Y/N, silently pleading she'll look up. And Eddie kept his eyes on the floor, stomach twisting in knots.
They were in this position all because of Eddie, and he knew that. All the blame rested on his shoulders and his shoulders alone.
"I want to start by thanking both of you for coming and hearing me out." Eddie sighed in one breath. The anxiety filled his stomach.
"yeah, I think it's a nice option to have a chance to explain yourself, but that's not for everyone." Y/N threw out the side remark. Rolling her eyes as she finally looked up at Eddie.
"I'm sorry for everything. Y/N, I'm sorry for attacking you right away, not letting you explain yourself, and turning Steve against you.....I know what I did was so wrong. Deep down I knew I was fucking everything up but I couldn't stop myself. " Eddie voiced out. His eyes connected with Y/N's.
"Eddie, I just don't understand why it was so easy to believe I cheated on you guys. I've been loyal, supportive, and understanding of both of you! I would have believed you guys over anyone. But knowing you chose to believe random high schoolers over your girlfriend is fucked up. And I deserve a real explanation for that. I don't care if you knew you were wrong, it's the fact you continued to be an ass to me. I'm also disgusted by the fact you saw me as someone seeking to hurt Steve and that you felt the need to protect him. Protect him from his girlfriend? That's low." Y/N didn't plan to hold anything back. She spent night after night having her thoughts brewing over and over.
"you deserve an explanation. I need to be honest with both of you and myself. I acted out of insecurity and fear. I....heard the rumor and my first thought was I cannot let anyone know this would hurt me. It's fucked up, and I picked my pride over being vulnerable. I wanted to show I could be unaffected. That the relationship between you and I isn't what I depend on to be happy. But it is, and it's fucked up of me to find that embarrassing to admit. Because it's not. You and Steve make me so fucking happy and show me what love is about. I took all that for granted and tossed it aside like it wouldn't mean anything to me. Neither of you deserved that, and Y/N you didn't deserve to be treated like that. " Eddie took a deep breath before continuing.
"I also want to apologize to Steve, I wanted to protect you but all I did was hurt, everyone. I should have been mature and brought the topic up in a controlled way. I shouldn't have thrown it out in a fit of anger and I shouldn't have turned you against her before she even got home. I was wrong and I was wrong to both of you. I know I don't deserve another chance, I know I didn't give Y/N a fair chance, but I'd like to ask for another chance at being your boyfriend again." Eddie nervously looked between the both of them.
"Before we answer that, I'd like to apologize to Y/N also," Steve sighed out, facing her fully. " You are right, I should have thought for myself. We both know Eddie doesn't communicate well, and I was the only one in that situation that could have controlled the conversation and helped us out. I should have let you explain yourself. You're not Nancy and you've proved that. I also am guilty of letting my insecurities take over and ruining everything we built. I think I speak for Eddie and I when I say, if you give us this chance, we will prove our loyalty to you. And we will always communicate when our insecurities are taking control again. "
Y/N was happy to hear both boys being honest with themselves, admitting that their insecurities got too much and they panicked. It doesn't take away the hurt and damage, but it's a start to fixing everything.
"I appreciate both of you apologizing. Eddie, I'm hurt that you felt that your pride was more important than being vulnerable with me. But I like to hear that you know what's wrong and you are aware that was the wrong thing to do. I know you are trying Eds, and I don't expect you to know what to do all the time. You know you hurt me, and you knew it was on you to fix it. Thank you for taking responsibility for that. I will give you another chance, but I want you to work on your communication. We shouldn't count on Steve for all the communication between us. If you can prove to me that you are working on that, I'm happy for you to be my boyfriend again." She smiled at Eddie, his face breaking out into his smile.
She turned to Steve, a soft look in her eyes. " Thank you for apologizing as well. Thank you for knowing I am not Nancy and thinking over my words. I understand that your insecurities took over and I would also like for you to communicate that to me. I have faith that you can do that. I am also happy for you to be my boyfriend again." She smiled.
All three smiling at each other. Both boys understood they needed to back up their apologies, and show that they meant it.
Eddie knew that no one was ever going to make him as happy as his two partners do. He's lucky enough to have two people fall in love with him. He's safe with them. He can fall apart with them and know neither will judge him. He's flawed and that's okay.
Steve knew Y/N was her person and she was beautiful. She wasn't out to hurt him or Eddie. She just wanted to love them for who they are. Steve knew he needed to think for himself, and speak his thoughts if they happened to disagree with hers or Eddie's.
"Can I kiss you now?" Steve and Eddie asked at the same time, both boys chuckling to themselves as they stare at their girl across from them.
She giggled behind her hands, nodding her head.
"who's going first?" She joked. Knowing a fight was ahead of them.
"ME!" Eddie screamed, shoving Steve as he raced across the room.
Tags!
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#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson request#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson angst#eddie munson angst x reader#eddie munson fluff x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrignton#steve harrington x reader#steve stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#steve x eddie#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie angst#steddie x female reader
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Okay here’s the hard part.
I think a lot about that guy, so called Jesus, and his philosophy of radical forgiveness and empathy. For a long time I thought that was just a line abusers use to force their victims to forgive them (AND IT IS)
But! I also think about Lucifer and the things he taught me regarding the concept of hell. If I was the ruler of hell and I had to manage all these terrible people, what would I do? Torture them? Give them endless suffering so they feel guilty? Do to them what they did to others so they can understand how bad it feels?
Latinos who voted for Trump, oh you disappoint me, but no, I don’t want you to be deported. Women who voted for Trump, *sigh*, no, I don’t want to see you get an ectopic pregnancy or carry your dead baby. No I do not want all those conservative gays to lose their right to marriage. And no, I don’t even want all of those fucked up fascist nazi racists to die.
It would be SO satisfying to see them get what they deserve, right?
God, I’m so sick of being apart of a species that loves to conquer. We bleed, they win, they bleed, we win. I’m sick of patching wounds. All I see is hellfire.
My friend Taylor Mcnallie is facing fraudulent charges because of an altercation that happened while she was protesting in Calgary. The bitch of a cop who assaulted her not only received no punishment, she got a fucking promotion. I remember during one of Taylor’s speeches someone said something like “I hope she gets arrested and goes to jail,” and Taylor said, “I don’t hope she goes to jail. Jail shouldn’t exist. I just want her to get fired and apologize. That’s all I want.”
Pacifism, true pacifism, like the kind that guy preached about, doesn’t mean laying down and accepting every terrible thing assholes do to you with a smile. It means taking away their ability to harm without harming them yourself. Eliminating the evil without becoming evil. Punching nazis does not make you a nazi, but praying for the death and destruction of people, human beings, because you hate them as much as they hate you? *sigh*
The hardest part about this whole radical empathy thing, is the fact that I cannot even wish harm upon those who want me dead. Isn’t that funny? That literal neo nazi, yeah, I hope he has shelter. Fuck I hope that rapist still eats tonight. I hope he feels shame until the day he dies, but I don’t hope he gets raped in prison. I don’t even want him in prison to be honest, I want him to be cared for, and I want his ability to do harm stripped away.
“Even if he hurts a child?”
God damn it, yes. I can’t add more suffering into the world, even if it is inflicted upon the people I’d love to hate most. I want to take away his power to do evil, I want everyone to know what kind of person he is and the terrible things he does so they can keep themselves safe… and then I want him to be safe.
I want all those terfs to have clean drinking water. I know they hate my guts, ugh, it is what it is. But praying that they experience the pain they’ve caused me, hoping that they die or suffer only makes me more like them.
WHICH SUCKS. This way of thinking is NOT satisfying AT ALL!!! Being vindictive and petty is FUN and it FEELS GOOD!!! That’s why it’s so fucking easy, and that’s why we keep eating each other over and over again.
Having said all of this, we should definitely bring back the guillotine lmao. I’m not saying that we should be super nice to people who are trying to kill us, do fight back. If the people need to kill their oppressors to be free then, hey, I’m not going to tell them they’re wrong for that. This isn’t a “we should all hug and sing kumbaya together! Kindness is always the way!!!” take. If the only way to bring death to the empire is to bring death to its owners, then so be it. Do so in the way that produces the least amount of degradation to your soul.
But wishing natural disasters on Texas, hoping that that racist woman’s parents get deported, out of spite and hatred… what are they doing to you? What are you doing to yourself?
Humanity is disgusting, truly truly abhorrent. I want to be able to look at us and embrace us with acceptance of that. Every single fucking terrible person on this earth deserves liberty, life, and freedom. Even when you spit in my face and hurt the people I love, damn it, I won’t hurt you. I see you as a rabid animal that needs to be sedated and slowly acclimated to compassion. And I will keep trying, even if you never learn. I can’t give up on humanity.
This is the most important and the hardest part. I’m not telling you to forgive, forgiveness is for you. If it doesn’t serve you, don’t forgive. But don’t let people without humanity kill the humanity that exists within you. Don’t let hatred fester in your soul. You’re allowed to be mad, hell, you should be furious. Let that fury keep you warm, but do not become a monster too.
To all you stupid fucking fascist pieces of shit, I hope you get exactly what you deserve. And what you deserve is not death, pain or suffering. It’s self reflection and growth, guilt and humility. As much as I would enjoy seeing you hurt, I refuse to become like you. And damn it I love you, I love every human being on this planet. I love you so much that I cannot become you. I love you so fucking much that I will continue to fight for your rights even when you’re trying to take mine away. and I hate that I love you like this, but I can’t stop.
So I will stop you.
- James Baldwin
#america#pagan#paganism#witchcraft#luciferian witch#luciferism#luciferian#lucifer devotee#theistic luciferianism#lucifer deity#lord lucifer#lucifer#demonology#demonolatry#election 2024#us elections
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👑🩰MOVIE THERAPY👑🩰
-In this post, I want to mention the lessons I learnt from two beautiful movies - Queen and English Vinglish. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND these movies!!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET WATCHING THESE MOVIES !!! Both the movies start with women who are timid , stuck in their past , trying to please others , lack self love , dependent on others but in the end they become independent, confident and develop self love. Isn't that wonderful ?
Let's start from Queen movie starring Kangana Ranaut, Rajkumar Rao and Lisa Haydon. It's about a girl named Rani who was dumped by her fiance and she decides to go on honeymoon, all by herself
1) IF THEY LEAVE YOU , IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
Rani's fiance dumped her just before the wedding, ofc she was heartbroken and locked herself in room . After that she decided to go to honeymoon, all by herself! She went to the same place where she was supposed to go after her marriage - Amsterdam , Paris . I know it hurts , when a close one , whether it's your fiance , boyfriend, girlfriend , best friend etc leaves your side with or without any reason. As once a wise women said , you lose people who aren't meant for the best version of you . Even if they leave, you have to enjoy your own company and continue with your own life . Vijay aka Rani's fiance cancelling the wedding was a blessing in disguise . Also if they left without any reason or if they were just embarrassed by you , they didn't deserve you at all .
2) YOU ARE COMPLETE ON YOUR OWN
Yes , here is a spoiler from the movie , Rani doesn't end up with any new guy or gets married to her ex-fiance. Infact , she becomes independent and free. You are whole on your own. You are complete on your own , you don't need anyone to complete you , you need someone to accept you . You are a queen or king and will always remain one ! You can be happy on your own. You don't need anyone or their approval.
3) HAVE FUN WITH FRIENDS , DON'T JUDGE EACH OTHER
Rani met VijayLaxmi , Olexander or ( Sikander🐵) , Taka and Tim . Their friendship was perfect example of "opposites attract " . However , despite the differences, she never judged them because she knew they were good human beings , deep inside .
4) A MAKE-OVER IS NEVER A BAD IDEA !
A makeover can make you feel confident in yourself. The way you present and take care of yourself also shows how much you love and respect yourself. So wear a pretty pink dress and straight your hair or maybe curl them , whatever you like ! Also REMEMBER YOU ARE DOING IT FOR YOUUU!!!!!!!🧁💖
5) STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Why?? You don't grow in your comfort zone. Rani stepped out of her native country and tralleveled all alone to a country where she was supposed to go with her ex fiance. Remember Great things never come from comfort zone.
6) FREE YOURSELF
Be independent. Love yourself. Respect yourself. There is a scene in the movie where Rani rejects her fiance when he comes back while they play a beautiful and meaningful song in background . That scene represents Rani's walk of liberation. Rani finally became independent, learnt to love herself and be her own person !!
7)" THANK YOU " - RANI, QUEEN 2013
Rani thanks her fiance when he comes back to her. No, she doesn't take him back . She finally realized that if he didn't cancel the marriage, she would have never become her highest self which was confident , full of self love and independent. It was truly a blessing in disguise. Say thank you to all those hurtful past experiences, those experiences made you wiser. Say thank you to all the people who left you at your worst because they made you realize that you only need one person and that's YOU !
Lessons learnt from English vinglish , starring Sridevi . It's about a woman named Shashi who didn't receive any respect from her family peers for not knowing English. She was also timid and often mistreated by her daughter and not appreciated enough by her own husband.
1) STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Shashi went to New York inorder to attend her sister's wedding but she couldn't speak or understand English. She went to a country where she didn't know how to communicate with anyone. You must get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
2) TURN YOUR WEAKNESS INTO STRENGTH
Shashi was mocked by her own family for not knowing English. She took English classes and learnt English. She was committed and determined to learn English so she succeeded . She gave a meaningful speech in English too which shocked her daughter and her husband whereas some people were proud of her - her little son , her other cousin Radha , her English teacher and class peers. Later , her family also felt bad for mistreating like and they developed respect for her . Also please respect your parents , don't humiliate them for not knowing something or anything. The scene where Shashi cried because her daughter disrespected her were so painful to watch .
3) DON'T ALLOW OTHERS TO DEGRADE YOUR JOB OR HOBBY
Shashi was never appreciated for her being good at making sweets and her buisness was going pretty well but she never got the appreciation she deserved and was degraded by her own husband for being called " entrepreneur ". If you like something and if it is beneficial to you too , then don't care what others are saying , even if it's someone from your family.
4) IT IS NEVER LATE TO START OR LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Shashi learnt English when she was in her ripe age , age is just a number when it comes to learning. You are never too old to learn , Instead of crying over the time lost and undermining oneself, it’s better to value-add by learning something new-something that you had always wanted to do but couldn’t because of time, money or other constraints.
5) DO NOT GIVE UP
Shashi faced alot of troubles when she was learning English , however she did not give up. Was it worth it ? YES! Finish what you have started.
5) SELF-LOVE
Shashi summarized it in few words which hit hard so I will just end this post with her quote
" When you don't like yourself, you tend to dislike everything associated with you . New things seem to be more attractive , but once you start loving yourself , the same old life begins to feel new and good "
-Shashi , English Vinglish , 2012
#queen#english vinglish#feminist movies tbh#law of assumption#positivity#self love#self worth#respect yourself#wonyoungism#self help#it girl mentality#must watch movies#girlboss#girlblogger#self concept#loa#master manifestor#it girl#believe in your own magic#neville goddard#bollywood#bollywoodedit#bollygifs#affirmations#assume and persist#self esteem#self improvement#affirm and persist#persistence#self concept icons
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exoplanet p.1
masterlist
ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)
summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge
a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry
warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette. i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe
im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.
wc: 6k
It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.
It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.
You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.
You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.
You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.
You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.
Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.
So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.
And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.
~
“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.
“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.
“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.
You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”
He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.
“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.
“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”
There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.
You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.
“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.
Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.
“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.
Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”
“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”
He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”
You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.
It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.
“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”
You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”
“Anything specific?” he asked.
“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”
He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.
“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.
“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.
“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”
“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”
Click.
A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.
“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”
As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.
Then everything went black.
~
When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.
Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.
You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.
You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.
Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.
Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.
You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.
Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.
A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.
“Hello?” you called out.
The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.
“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”
A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.
You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.
Bang!
A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.
“Who the fuck are you?”
You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.
“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”
The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”
You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.
“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”
“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”
“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.
Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.
To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.
They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.
“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”
“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.
“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”
“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”
The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”
“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”
“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.
“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.
“How close am I to Terranova?”
“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.
“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”
Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”
“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”
“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”
“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”
“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.
“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”
Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”
The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.
~
“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”
A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.
“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”
Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.
“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”
“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”
Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”
“Y/N,” Dina supplied.
“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”
“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”
“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.
“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”
“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.
“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”
“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”
“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”
You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”
“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”
“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”
Joel blinked. “What now?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”
“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”
Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”
“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”
“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”
You cringed.
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”
“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”
“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.
“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”
Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”
“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”
“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”
“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.
“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”
The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”
“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”
“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”
Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”
You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.
Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”
“Terranova.”
Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.
“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.
“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”
“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”
“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”
Ellie arched a brow.
“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”
“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”
“Oh.”
“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”
“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.
“Didn’t think so.”
“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”
“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”
You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.
“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.
“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”
“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”
Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…
“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.
Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”
“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.
“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”
“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.
“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”
“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”
She was about to answer when the door banged open.
“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.
“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”
You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”
“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.
“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”
“Dina!”
Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”
“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”
“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”
“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”
“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”
“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”
“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”
Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”
You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”
“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”
“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”
“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”
You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.
“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”
Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”
~
By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.
“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”
“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.
Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.
“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”
“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.
Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”
You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”
“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.
“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”
Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”
Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”
He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.
“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”
“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”
“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”
Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”
“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”
“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”
“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”
“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”
Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.
When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.
“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”
You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.
“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”
“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”
“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.
“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”
Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.
When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.
Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.
She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.
again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x oc#ellie williams self insert#ellie williams x y/n
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excerpt from the one where Clark is trans and Kon isn't, but no one actually knows this:
Cadmus didn't know Superman was a trans man before they stole his dead body, but considering how many total assholes were on staff at the time they were surprisingly respectful of his gender identity. Not so much his bodily autonomy or his DNA or his potential feelings about being cloned against his will, but like, they used his preferred pronouns and whatever.
So like . . . diversity win, Kon guesses? Or . . . whatever that'd be?
So when they made . . . him . . .
Kon got educated and socialized as male, when they made him. They called him "he" and "him", at least when they weren't calling him "it". They couldn't figure out how to synthesize effective hormone treatments for half-Kryptonian genes, but they had plans for surgeries they were gonna do when he was physically mature enough. Like–before the yellow sunlight could really kick in, effects-wise. Apparently they tried just tweaking the sex on a few earlier models, but by the time they got to Experiment Thirteen, they'd figured out that they couldn't work out what an actual AMAB Kryptonian's genes should look like and had just planned for the surgeries.
Kon's not really sure how to take that. Like . . . is it good that they wanted him to be comfortable in his body? That they cared about what the fuck he'd want to look like?
Or is it bad that they didn't ask him if he'd even want any of that?
Kon wears a binder and a packer and acts like he thinks boys are supposed to act, tries to take charge and be tough and be confident and hit on pretty girls and not look at pretty guys, and Kal tells him he doesn't have to try so hard. Tells him to just act natural. Kon doesn't know how to do that, though.
Acting "natural" would be . . .
Acting natural would be a problem.
Cissie has really long hair. Sometimes Kon watches how it moves and pretends to be checking her out when she catches him. Like the same way he pretends that he's perving on her ass when he's actually looking at the swish of her skirt, or that he's making eyes at her tits when he's really just wondering what his own would look like without the binder that he wears . . . more than he's supposed to, to be honest.
Serling gets on his ass about it when he forgets to take it off every eight hours. She's working on synthesizing actual hybrid hormones for him, she says, but it's technically a backburner project right now because everything is always on fire and the world keeps trying to end in increasingly ludicrous ways.
Which, well–he appreciates it, really, but that'd all be more helpful if he was actually "forgetting" to take the binder off, and if he wasn't terrified that she's actually gonna manage those hormones someday. Serling's, like, a crazy genius, after all. She might be able to pull that off.
But Kon doesn't want the hormones. Doesn't want the surgeries he's been told Cadmus will give him as soon as he's physically mature enough. Doesn't want . . .
Kon doesn't actually hate his body, is the thing. He doesn't feel bad or weird in it. He kind of just . . . he likes it the way it is. He doesn't even want to wear the binder or the packer, honestly.
Literally every single fucking person who knows he’s trans has been respectful about it and has given him everything he could ever need to present as male and never, ever said anything to belittle or question his gender or his right to consider himself a man or even slipped up with his pronouns or anything. Even fucking Westfield never said anything shitty to him about it, for fuck's sake. Fucking Westfield, of all people!
Which would all be great and good and very fucking validating, if Kon weren't fucking cis.
There is something extremely, extremely bullshit about the fact that Kon is getting all the acceptance and support and medical care that every actual trans person deserves without even asking for or needing it. But she has no idea how to tell anyone that she's not what they think she is. Or who. Or . . .
Seriously, who else's life has ever been weird enough that they'd need to come out as cisgender? Like, who else ever?
Young Justice thinks Kon's a cis guy. The public thinks she's a cis guy. The superhero and supervillain communities both think she's a cis guy, except for the handful of people that know about Kal not being one, and even most of Cadmus does, depending on clearance levels and whatever. Tana and Roxy and fucking Knockout all thought she was a cis guy, even. Robin might "know" she's actually a trans one, being a Bat and all, but he's never said anything that's made her think he might.
Hell, the fucking Agenda doesn't even "misgender" her.
So everyone who knows has been absolutely fucking great and respectful about it and otherwise Kon passes fucking perfectly, and no one's ever once looked at her as anything but a guy. Anything but Superboy.
Except all Kon wants is for someone to look at her and see a girl. To see Supergirl.
So she doesn't really like to talk to Kara when she doesn't have to.
Or . . . ever, really.
Unfortunately, right now they kinda do have to talk.
"Well, your evil twin remains evil, no surprise," Kara says with a sigh, eyeing the walls of the containment cell that the Agenda has stuffed them into and is for some inexplicable bullshit reason slowly filling with water, who even fucking knows why. There's gotta be faster ways to kill them, especially considering Kon isn't even sure how much Kara needs to breathe at all. Like, she definitely does? But as for Kara, who knows. "Match is the worst possible version of a Superboy, I swear to Rao."
Kon has the weird urge to snap about how maybe Match isn't a boy and has anyone even asked?
No one ever asked her, for fucking sure. She didn't even know she wasn't a boy for way too long. Everybody'd always told her that she was, after all, and she'd just thought it'd felt weird to get called a boy because she wasn't a fucking little kid, she was Superman, or because she was trans and like, felt fake about her gender because she'd somehow accidentally internalized some stupid bullshit, or because of any number of other reasons that would've all made perfect sense and had all turned out to be perfectly wrong.
So yeah. Kon does kinda identify with the trans experience, ironically enough.
"Yeah, Match is usually a pain in the ass," she says instead of telling Kara how much she fucking hates her for getting to be what she can't, then starts looking for a way out of the stupid containment cell. It's not Kara's fault Kon hates her, for one thing, and also she doesn't wanna die here. Like, she definitely doesn't.
She wonders if Match might have reacted to her differently, if when they'd first met she'd known enough to ask if they were sisters.
Probably not, whether they're sisters or not. Match still seems pretty married to "I don't have free will" as a coping mechanism for all the psychological damage that being cloned and force-grown and told your only value and entire reason for existence lies in replacing someone who doesn't actually need to be replaced, it seems like.
Not that Kon would know anything about that, obviously.
Like, why would she?
She feels along the walls with her TTK and finds a frustrating lack of structural vulnerabilities to exploit. Kara punches them a few times, though they've already tried that. Kon doesn't blame her, at this point. The water keeps steadily pouring in and makes its way up to their thighs.
It is not reassuring. Like, at all.
Kon is gonna be so annoyed if she dies and gets buried as Superboy.
Though she was always going to do that, wasn't she. Best case scenario might've gotten her to Superman, maybe, but . . . yeah.
What else was she ever gonna do?
Cadmus made her to be Superman. Kal told her she could be Superboy, and named her after a boy, and named her like a Kryptonian boy would've been.
Although she guesses to have a femme-style Kryptonian name, she'd have needed to have a father.
She wonders if Kal would've named her at all, if he would've had to give her a name with a father's name attached to it. Maybe he would've just gone with Jor-El's, since technically Jor-El is the paternal donor of her Kryptonian DNA.
Or maybe he would've gone with . . .
Kon stops thinking about stupid shit she knows better than to be thinking about and feels out with her TTK again.
#kon el#conner kent#superboy#kara zor el#supergirl#superfamily#rinfic#long post#wip: trans clark and cis kon
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Let's have a talk, shall we?
Major Trigger Warning for rape, false accusations, and mentions of child sex crimes
I let you guys get away with a lot of shit. I let you be a little bitter, or mean spirited, or pissed off. I let you guys vent and let out grievances and complain for the sake of complaining. And i do all of this because it is important to have a space that you can do so without fear of judgement, it is unhealthy for you to bottle up negative emotions. I provide this in a public space because with the way this fandom is, if I didn't many of you would be pressured into not doing so at all. This fandom has a habit of ostracizing those who have differing opinions and interpretations, those who wish to critique the art they consume, those who have unpopular opinions, and all of it is done with the utmost aggression and vitriol. The things that have been said to some of the people in this fandom genuinely makes me lose faith in humanity if i think about it too hard.
This blog exists explicitly to counteract that. I refuse to encourage or enable it. What you are doing is actively dangerous, and I won't be having it in the space I curate within this fandom.
If you haven't noticed, this is one of my rules:
It means that you are not allowed to come in my inbox and accuse people of serious harm over this fiction.
You will not come and accuse people of something as egregious as rape apologia in my inbox. You will not accuse people of rape, abuse, assault, or child abuse/rape/exploitation in my inbox.
These are serious real world issues, and the reason they are bad is because they cause direct harm to real living people who can feel pain and can be violated. Your disgust holds absolutely no ethical weight. At All. You should have the mental, emotional, and intellectual capability to understand the ethical difference between allegories for rape, stories with/about rape, erotica of rape, and actual real life people being raped. Making accusations of this weight over make believe is abhorrent, and as a matter of fact, it shows that you don't treat these tragedies with the weight or gravity that they deserve. If you believe that it is appropriate to accuse someone of violating another person like so because of the creation of or opinions about art, then you have some serious learning and growing to do as a person if you wish to navigate these topics with any level of maturity or respect towards victims.
There is no good that comes out of accusations such as these. They only ever serve to:
Demonstrate to victims that the tragedy of their abuse is as trivial as fanfiction/art that you deem nasty (but is ultimately ethical), or even something as inconsequential as someones' love for a fictional character.
Shame those who love these characters, or this art, or creating, into hiding their opinions for fear of harassment and serious accusations when they have done zero harm by enjoying it.
Stifle creation and participation in fandoms.
Limit the spread of ideas, interpretations, critique/criticism, and general opinions in the fandom, which just turns fandoms into boring echo chambers devoid of variety and creativity.
Encourage actual censorship and moral policing. (More on that on this reblog by @escapedaudios on a post of mine. Thank you Escaped for your two cents, they are much appreciated 💖)
Spread the incredibly harmful idea that people are defined by the art they enjoy. You cannot accurately judge a person’s values or morals based on what tropes and themes they enjoy in fiction. You create an environment and culture incredibly dangerous for vulnerable individuals (like minors) when you tell them that they can know who is safe to trust based on whether they consume "the good kind" or "the bad kind" of fiction. This makes it so very easy for predators to virtue signal about fiction to lure in potential victims to abuse.
The majority of you are very good and well behaved when it comes to this, but the amount of people i have had come into my inbox and accuse others of being rapists with no evidence other than "they made X" or "they like Y" is not zero. And i will not be satisfied until it is.
This is all i have to say about the subject.
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