#guy who is allergic to furry animals

[absurdumsid]

ok sorry why does everyone have cats im so jealous now

[ghastlyfilters]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐬!!

pairing(s): implied billy loomis, stu macher, mickey altieri, randy meeks, tatum riley + sidney prescott x gn!reader

warning(s): none, just billy being a dick as per usual lol. some slight mentions of dog shelters. (if you’re anything like me it hurts your heart thinking about places like that)

BILLY

• Is this man necessarily a pet person? No.

• Billy will literally tell you to get a fucking grip if you cry over a fish..

THIS MAN IS AS BLUNT AS THEY COME. CMON NOW.

• He finds cats more peaceful than any other animals.

• He’d much rather a kitty cat being able to snuggle with him than a dog drooling all over the place..

(This most certainly changes the minute you show him the crazy ass cat compilations 😭)

• Billy hates nothing more than people giving pets (dogs specifically) the most dumbass names. Buddy, Max, Milo, you know where i’m getting at, lol.

• If you have a baby lizard, he actually enjoys sitting holding the little creature as it slowly moves around on his hand. (I LOVE LIZARDS SM MAN)

• Though this is him if any animal comes into your room and pisses him off:

• OH BILLY BOY YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE..

STUUUU

• SMOTHERS YOUR PETS WITH EVERY BIT OF AFFECTION HE HAS IN HIS BIG OL’ HEART!

• Dances with your snake around his neck to Britney Spears’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” playing in the background.

• Yes this man will honor Britney in any way he can, shush..

• There’s a few animals he’s allergic to so he might be a lil sneezy here and there.

• His eyes get that red and puffed up until the point Billy thinks he’s fucking high or smth..

• But if he loves one of those animals THAT much he’ll just buy allergy meds and tell himself to suck it up.

• Giggles at the vids of dog owners letting their pooches stand up and dance with them.

(So much so, he tries it with your dog himself)

• Has a special thing for Labradors and Great Danes!

• Nah, spiders are def a big NO NO..

“Hey babe, look!” You said, both hands open wide as a fat, hairy black creature sat in the middle of them.

Stu stared at you from the other couch, standing up as he began to back away. “Nah, put that shit down.”

“BUT LOOK.”

“BABE STO-”

• Cannot go into a dog shelter whatsoever. Even if the pair of you were to find one perfect for you guys, his heart aches for the other ones being left behind.

• Would love nothing more than to lay down with a dozen puppies crawling on top of him whilst he plays with the little cuties. OMG.

MICKEY

• I just know y’all would have a black cat named Salem.

• Takes multiple pics of husky puppies in the snow.

• Feels all fuzzy inside when you say you’re the “Momma” of your shared pet and he’s the “Daddy”

• Always lets your pets sleep at the bottom of the bed with you two! (Maybe even further up and snuggled in if he’s feeling particularly nice that day)

• When he’s not busy with his film studies, he’ll watch some movies with your furry friend, letting them sit on his lap whilst stroking/patting the cuddly creature.

• I imagine he wouldn’t necessarily bother with getting a pet that’s not a house cat or a regular dog. But if you decided to go out and get something extremely different from those two sorts, he’d probably be intrigued to see what it was and what it could do.

RANDY

• Randy is most certainly someone who doesn’t mind animals. He’s the kind of person who wants one for the sake of having some extra company.

• He has a golden Labrador of his own, so he certainly won’t be fussed if you tell him you have a dog.

• Stu threw a bit of meat onto Randy’s back without him noticing. Well, until he was screaming when he realised a fucking PIT BULL had been chasing him half way down the goddamn street!

That sort of messed up his thoughts on certain dog breeds for quite a while..

• Unlike Billy, Randy LOVES having popular dog names for his pooch. In fact, Buster is actually the name of his doggie!! :D

• No joke, if you tell this man you have a Tarantula he will avoid your house at all costs. ALL. COSTS.

• He would try and phone you to have a movie night and it would go a lil something like this:

“Hey, my mom’s out of town and Martha went to her friend’s house for the night, you wanna come over? I picked up some movies when I was finishing my shift earlier. I was thinking a horror seeing as it’s fall, ya know?”

“Don’t be silly! Come over to mine! I’ve got Halloween and plenty of snacks at the ready! Jamie Lee Curtis, hello?” You giggled.

“Uh- you know what babe I think i’m *COUGH* coming down w- with um- something.”

“Wait wha-”

“LOVE YOU, BYEEEEEE!!”

• No matter how much begging you do, he’s not coming over.

*You, Randy, Tatum, Stu, Sid and Billy walking home*

“Who’s house are we having that dumbass ‘movie marathon’ at tonight?” Billy snorted.

Randy gave him a look of pure offence. “Hey! It’s not dumb! It’s a HORROR marathon!! That’s what people do in October, Billy. Jesus.”

“Whatever.”

Tatum glanced towards you. “Y/n, I was thinking your house because you have the full Nightmare on Elm Street boxset-”

“ADIOS!” Randy shouted, practically sprinting back the way you lot had already came.

“PUSSY!!” Stu added with a loud echo of booming laughter.

TATUM

• Tatum loves animals so much, especially BUNNIES!

• As much as she may like your animals who are fluffy as HELL, she always carries a lint roller around with her. She hates hairs on her skirt.. (I feel you girl 🥲)

• Does not understand why so many girls freak out at dogs licking their faces. She knows it’s their way of giving affection like chill out??

• Her and Dewey had rabbits as kids, so don’t be surprised if she gets extra excited over the fact you have some aswell, hehe.

• Always asks if she can pet people’s dogs in public. If they appear friendly enough, of course.

• Snakes are definitely not her thing, so if you have one, perhaps keep it hidden when she comes over.

• She’ll try and get you to let her hold your rabbit whilst you watch a movie. (I mean, why not?)

SIDNEY

• Sidney is 110% a cat lover. So much so, when Christmas time came around, you decided to gift her a little kitten as a thank you for how supportive she always is towards you.

• It would be a beautiful little grey kitty named Daisy. And I imagine Sid would definitely spend time with her 24/7. Daisy was one of the only things that made Sidney truly happy, despite you, of course.

• She likes dogs too! She’ll always giggle her head off if your dog gets overexcited when she comes around to visit.

• Literally finds mini turtles so fucking cute. (She is definitely interested to see unordinary pets too!!)

• Much like Stu and Randy, our girl Sid is a big fan of Labradors. Especially black ones. She finds them beautiful creatures, standing proudly with their big chocolate brown eyes.

hey guys! headcanon requests are open if you’d like to see some specific types of hcs with a certain one of these lovely characters! remember to drink plenty of water and take care of yourselves! i love you my darlings, you are always welcome to have kj’s blog as your safe place. always. <3

[prideofcelestia]

❝ when he learns that he’s your favourite character in obey me (self-aware au) ❞

« characters - leviathan, satan, barbatos »

« gender neutral reader »

« headcanons »

belphegor, simeon

You are surprised when all the characters of the game appear on the screen together and greet you sweetly.

“Welcome, master.” A voice that doesn’t resemble any of theirs speaks, “May I know who your favourite is so that he can greet you today?”

It may seem difficult to choose only one but when the voice insists that you must decide, you finally come to a conclusion and name one of them.

LEVIATHAN

“W-W-What do you m-m-mean that I am your favourite? You are kidding, right?!”

His furiously blushing face is hidden behind the back of his hand as he struggles to regain his nonexistent composure. Seeing him that way calms your heart so you inch closer to your screen and poke his cheek. 

“Aww, Leviachan doesn’t believe his normie best friend? That’s sad! The Lord of Shadow would definitely believe his Henry!”

“W’aaaaahhhh. Leviathan takes 9000 damage-! I-I-It’s cheating to bring TSL into this! You know I’ll just s-swoon over you even more than I usually do! My heart isn’t ready for that. A-A-Also, I see you as more than my best friend. You’ve unlocked a new level of Henry rankings in my heart-!”

When he visibly jumps back after that, you raise an eyebrow and focus on him. That’s surely new.

“D-D-Don’t look at me with that cute look! Ugh, anime eyes could never compare! Leviathan will take leave for all of eternity. Thank you very much!!”

With that, he disappears from the screen in one swift movement. 

You blink. Floating icons and no character to welcome you. Interesting.

“What the… That has never happened before. Hmm… Maybe I should uninstall the app.”

Your plan is to install it back at once but the characters fear that you’ll vanish on them so they take matters into their own hands. The moment you utter the forbidden word (‘uninstall’), Leviathan is thrown back into view from the corner of the screen.

“Aaaaaahhhh-! Be gentle with my inactive, hermit body, won’t you?! And you all are supposed to be my brothers?!?! You guys make me want to sleep with a knife and the spell to summon Lotan for safety purposes!! I’ll never trust you guys with my game codes!”

The last bit makes you laugh out loud. Your gaze meets his and he gulps while playing with the fabric of his clothes nervously. Even though you don’t understand the situation, you’re enjoying watching it unfold.

You say teasingly, “Would you trust me with your precious game codes, Leviachan~”

He never knew he needed to hear that until this moment. Forming fists with his hands, he holds his head high and yells, “Of course I will, Henry! I WILL TRUST YOU WITH MY GAME CODES A-AND MY F-F-FIGURINES TOO-! Just don't ask for it...”

SATAN

It warms his heart and entire being to know that you chose him.

With an alert look in his eyes that you have never seen before, he smiles and greets you with grace.

“Welcome [Name]. I thought I needed to play pranks to get your attention but I've been proven wrong. It makes me happy to see you here today. How have you been lately...? Do you want to talk about it?”

The words do not reveal that he's aware of you so it evades your notice that it’s the first time you’re hearing that variation of dialogue. Why should he play all his cards from the very beginning? He wants to observe and understand why you chose him before revealing his secrets.

His lines are a mixture of humor and concern so you sigh and answer sheepishly. “I’ve not been feeling the best lately. Everything feels overwhelming so I need a break mentally. My emotions are all over the place… At least I can play Obey Me! to blow off some steam.”

Satan searches your face before he speaks with a slight tremble in his voice: 

“Are you allergic to cats?”

Depending on your answer, he may suggest you to go and boop the nose of a furry companion to feel better. Despite his love for cats, he doesn't want you to be in the presence of one if it'll harm you. You're the most important person to him so your comfort is his priority.

When you’re busy with your work, he sometimes opens the web browser on your device and searches for novels that are popular in your world. Some tales have really stuck with him. In every story, he pictures the protagonist to be you and the love interest as him. With that in mind, he’ll narrate to you in a way that you can have the purrfect image too! His soothing voice and polished reading skills are at your service whenever you want it. Close your eyes and get prepared to be transported into a world of adventure and romance with Satan.

He’s yours — heart, body, soul and partnership of furry babies, if you want.

When you stare at him wide eyed, he smiles innocently. “Do you not like my idea? I have other plans too in case this displeases you.”

He’ll remind you daily why you made the correct decision by choosing him as your favourite.

BARBATOS

“Just when I thought I wouldn’t see you again, you appeared…. master. I was about to go back into the kitchen and cut onions to excuse my tears. But there is no need for that anymore.”

The line seems new so you stare at him and chuckle a little. The delivery is made with a straight face but his teasing tone doesn't escape you.

“Barbatos, you can be really cute haha.”

Curiously, he reacts to that by frowning. 

“I do not think ‘cute’ fits me.”

The reply sounds like he heard you speak just now so you wear a bewildered expression on your face and stare at him skeptically. Had the writers anticipated your reaction to an extent that they prepared the perfect reply in advance? That's... impossible. Different people will surely react differently to his dialogue.

“Hmmm…. Why are you staring at me like that, master? Did I surprise you excessively? But that must partly be the reason you chose me as your favourite.” 

He laughs softly.

If you blink at him, he answers your question with a small smile.

“The ‘cute’ one in this situation is you. If you look all confused, I can’t help but want to be by your side and take care of you while teasing you mercilessly. Needless to say, I know all about your preferences by hearing you speak from the other side of the screen. If you do not object, I would like to ask you some questions.”

From the other side of the screen...

That’s when it hits you.

“Barbatos, you can… see me?”

Sharp eyes focus on you. “Why, yes master. One may say that my eyes have always lingered on you.”

[haneulseukai]

𝐀 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐯𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞

"Can you please stop kissing the cat?"

- camilo x gn!reader with cat allergies

- 18+ please dni!

- (ft. hanae's cat, miso. Or at least i hope it's miso? Everyday i hope he never accidentally sees me misnaming his cats)

- fluff very fluff, a bit cheesy(?)

Today was just like any other day. Camilo had invited you to the casita to spend time together, with the day being his day off so no chores! More time to spend with each other's company.

That is until a furry friend decided to visit.

"Mi amorrr..." The chameleon whines, tugging your sleeve to get your attention "can you please stop kissing the cat already?"

"Just a moment"

The both of you were in the kitchen, with the intentions of grabbing snacks but you ultimately got distracted by the feline that jumped on top the table. Being a cat person you are, you can't help but start playing with it and peppering it with kisses.

"Arent you supposed to be allergic to cats?" Camilo pointed at the cat "what if you get sick?"

"I'll live, dont worry" you continued playing with the cat, petting it's back and smushing it's cheeks.

"meow!" The cat purred, its eyes big and round, it didn't mind the attention it was getting.

The boy groans, placing his head on his palms with frustration. His partner has been kissing the cat for almost half an hour, he's getting more and more envious of the animal.

"Cami, try petting it. It's fur is super soft" you reached for his wrist and brought it near the cat

He mumbled something unintelligible to you "my hair is too.."

Camilo's palm gently touches the cat's head. The cat's ears perked up then it's ears moved back. "Why does the ears look like the letter v- AY-" "HISS" Camilo immediately pulled back his hand in fear of getting bitten. The cat's pupils were thin slits, a huge difference to the once round eyes before.

"What did i do to you???" He lift his hands confused at the cat's behaviour. His eyes widen as if offended by it's actions.

You blinked in between the cat and the chameleon, just as confused. "That's..." You hover your hand above the cat's head, it's eyes went back to being round and it's ears perked up before bumping your hand "weird... It seemed fine with me"

Camilo furrowed his eyebrows "oh so THEY can but not ME?" He gestures to you and then to himself, trying to prove a point to the cat. It was seemingly pathetic but also cute for you to see him act this way because of a cat.

The cat meowed as a reply, it's face innocent. Camilo felt offended by the cat, it pulling a non guilty face after it hissed at him? He wasn't having it the slightest.

"Yn are you seeing this guy? It's being biased!"

Your nose twitches when you opened your mouth to speak, you swiftly took out a napkin from your pocket and sneezed into it "Achoo! Oh yeah, here comes the allergies"

"Is that a sign you're done?" he looked at you with hope in his eyes, he desperately want the both of you to go back to your scheduled laying down together and endlessly flirt sessions.

By now, you noticed how annoyed he is with the cat in front of you who's sitting up straight, it's eyes and tail wagging softly on the table stating it still wanted to play more with you.

"hmmm" you hummed pretending to think "I don't know cami, look at him, isn't he just the sweetest?" You cupped the cat's face and gently pinched it's cheeks.

"I- It- It hissed at me. You're choosing a cat over me?" He retorted, he took the kisses and overall affectionate you gave that cat, personally.

"I don't think cats likes you amor, i guess you're good with people but not adorable little guys like this one" you booped the cats nose. The cat meows and went to rub its body on your arm. It's tail tickled your nose which resulted to another sneeze on your napkin, the sneeze this time was a lot more intense than the last, it resulted with your eyes watering a bit from the reaction.

"mi vida, your eyes are watering" he turned his body towards you and used his hand to wipe the corner of your eyes, accidentally bumping his elbow with the cat. He felt warmth under his hand whilst he gently rubbed his thumb on your cheek "and you're burning up too" he looked at you worried that you might get sick.

The cat did not like it's fur being in contact with Camilo's clothes at all, it jumped away from him and hissed. It's pupils forming thin lines once again with it's tail held out stiffed and striaght.

"Okay, that's it"

"Aw Camilo dont be ups-" he lifted you up by the waist and place you on his shoulders "we are leaving"

You can't help but laugh as he walked towards the stairs, the cat stared at you as you were being lifted away. "Camilo, it's looking at me with such a sad face." Indeed, the cat let out a soft meow before it jumped off the table towards the open window and exited the place. Camilo turned around and saw its fluffy tail leaving the kitchen.

"And now it's gone" he said and averted his attention to the stairs. In his head there were happy fireworks now that he had you all to himself again.

"You can let me down now"

"Nope" he stubbornly ignored your request and continued to to carry you until he reached his room.

Once the door was closed, he carefully put you down on his bed and sat next to you. "You are so going to replace the affection you gave that cat instead of me"

You giggled at his antics, you find it cute at how envious he had gotten because of a single feline that happend to crash in the casita.

"Okay mi camaleón" you cupped his cheeks and shook his face lovingly "you're just too adorable to be true"

You could feel him getting warmer under your touch "So, I'm better than the cat yes?"

"Of course, of course. I choose the chameleon" you smiled and started giving him soft kisses to which he giggled every time you landed one. You made sure not to miss a single freckle on his face, giving each one a peck or two.

You pulled away and beamed at him, Camilo had completely melted because of you. "Amor, you missed one" he pointed at his lips.

You raised an eyebrow at him and grinned "I never kissed the cat there so why should I?"

"It doesn't mean you couldn't add more" he sulked, his mouth pouting with his arms crossed, you laughed at his response, oh what will you do with him. You pulled his face closer to yours and gave him a quick gentle kiss on the lips. "Happy?"

Camilo tapped his lips lightly and pretended to think "Mmmm maybe a little longer next time? As in now, i mean"

"You greedy little reptile" you gently pinch his cheek, not to hurt him. He grumbled and started tickling you to make you stop pinching his cheeks.

"A reptile?! That was mean, take it back!"

"That's the best- line- HAHAH! I've ever said-" you managed to say in between laughters, the tickling intensified which made you finally gave up.

"Fine! I'm sorry!"

Camilo lets you go from his tickling wrath.

"I'll always choose the chameleon, cami, mi cameleón"

"That was so cheesy.....I love you" he blurted out, his eyes filled with adoration.

You giggled, just as lovesick "Look at who's saying that and I love you too!"

Unlike someone, i choose the cat. Get these two out of my face! /j Also, i wrote the cat being super clingy which is a contrast to my cat. He's okay wih petting but he looked in distraught if i kiss him.

Back to cami my beloved.

Another thing, I myself have cat allergies but it's gotten better than the time i was younger. I used to get sick just after touching them for 15 minutes but now i could kiss my cat and just get sniffles. This is. Mmmm.

clouds! @gloomymuffin @jasmineblogs43 @reirain @junqwonni

↳ join the taglist here

[lovemeleo]

I would love to see Sirius Remus and Asher going to Nuny's to check up on Jackson and then Asher is all adorable with the cats

Thanks so much for this prompt, anon! I got so excited as soon as I saw it. Get to combine my baby Asher with my favorite Nuny boys. I hope you enjoy it! These characters and their world (except for Asher) belong to the always amazing @lumosinlove. 

If you haven’t read the rest of the Asher Pascal series, here’s the link!

***

“Now remember Ash, just because Uncle Nado doesn’t have the cast anymore doesn’t mean you can jump all over him.” Sirius said, glancing back at his son through the rearview mirror.

Asher nodded, clutching at his Lions stuffie as he stared out the window, “‘Cause he’s still hurtin’.” 

Smiling, Remus reached back to pat the little boy’s foot, “That’s right, bub.” 

Asher had been there for the game when Nado got hurt, and had been worried ever since. They’d already talked to him about how a lot of his family played hockey, and sometimes they got hurt. He had understood that but talking about it is a lot different than seeing it in front of your very eyes. The almost two year old had been itching to visit Jackson, but Sirius and Remus wanted to give him more time to heal up. So Asher video chatted with Nado whenever he could, going on about his day and whatever other things happened to pop into his head. He also gave Kuny drawings and get well cards, as well as one of his favorite stuffed animals to give to Nado until he could visit. Jackson teared up a bit when Kuny brought the gifts home, but he’ll deny it.

Now after two months, today was finally the day. Jackson had gotten his cast off a few days before and the Black-Lupin clan was given the OK to come visit.

Asher was wiggling in his seat as soon as Sirius put the car in park, a new drawing clutched in his hands, “C’monnnn. Time to get out!”

“Alright, let me get my seatbelt off first, jeez.” Remus said with a laugh before he climbed out. As soon as Asher was unbuckled, he made a break for the door but Sirius grabbed him quickly, throwing him over his shoulder. Wild giggles came from Asher as he held onto his daddy, dangling upside down over his back.

Remus let out an exasperated sigh, but it was mostly fond, “Be careful. We don’t need anyone else in casts.” Sirius looked back at him with a smile, blowing the other man a kiss before knocking on the door.

After a brief pause, there was some talking from behind the door before Kuny swung open, “Sorry, I should have asked. Do you have allergies?” 

“Like food allergies?” Sirius asked, his eyebrows furrowed at the strange greeting as he moved Asher onto his hip.

Kuny shook his head as he pushed something behind the door away with his foot, “No, no food. Like animals.”

Then a voice came from inside the house, “Cats. He wants to know if you’re allergic to cats!” Nado yelled. Kuny glanced back, giving him a look.

“You got a cat?” Remus asked, peeking behind Kuny curiously. “And no, we’re not allergic to cats. Asher has a habit of trying to steal them though when we help at the shelter.”

Nodding, Kuny moved back to let them in, “We got cats. And I would steal too.” He said with a grin as he stole Asher from Sirius’s arms, leading them to the living room where Nado was waiting. Asher clung to him happily, his arms wrapping around the giant man’s neck.

Nado grinned, holding Milo up like he was Simba in the Lion King, “Kuny took me to a cat café after I got my cast off, and we ended up getting attached.” He said, bringing the kitten back down so he could nuzzle him back into his neck.

“Uncle Nadooooooooo!” Asher squealed as soon as he saw his other uncle. Kuny set him down next to the couch. “I drew you this picture, it’s got me and you and Uncle Zhenya!”

Carefully taking the drawing, Jackson smiled as he ruffled Asher’s hair, “It’s great, dude. Can’t wait to hang it up.”

Asher smiled big, but his eyes quickly scanned over his Uncle as if to check him over, “You ‘kay?” He asked, looking up from the boot.

“I’m doing much better now. The boot’s a lot more comfy than the cast.” Nado said with a soft smile, pulling Asher onto the couch next to him. Milo peered down at the new little person and started to scamper his way down Nado’s chest. “Seems like Milo wants to meet you.”

Remus leaned forward from his spot on the opposite couch, smiling as the small gray ball of fluff sniffed curiously at Asher, “He’s so cute.”

The kitten nuzzled into Asher’s hand, letting out a soft purr as he made himself comfortable on the small boy’s lap.

“Wait… did you say cats? As in plural?” Sirius asked, glancing around the room.

Kuny nodded, before he got up, “I grab Pumpkin. One second.” He said before heading to their room.

Petting his hand gently down the small kitten’s back, Asher looked up at his dads with a big smile, “He’s so soft. And tiny!”

“Yeah, Milo is the smallest of the bunch. He’s our little guy.” Jackson smiled, gently scratching under the kitten’s chin before he handed Asher one of the toys, it had a long stick with a string attached that had a small fish toy on the end.  “He likes this one. If you just drag it back and forth, he’ll chase it.”

Asher took the toy, trailing the small fish toy back and forth. Milo scampered after it, stumbling a bit as he tried to keep up with the fish toy.

Kuny came out of their bedroom not long after, carrying what looked to be a mass of orange fluff in his arms, “This is my Pumpkin.” He may have been smiling but the entirety of his face was covered by Pumpkin’s fluff.

Remus couldn’t help but laugh as he watched his friend try to sit next to his boyfriend when he very obviously couldn’t see. 

“To the left a bit, babe.” Nado said, a fond smile spreading on his face as he pulled Kuny to sit down next to him before looking at their friends. “He got attached to her so we couldn’t leave her behind.”

Pumpkin let out an indignant meow as Kuny set her down on the floor by his feet, her tail swishing behind her as she made her way to where Sirius and Remus sat.

“You guys know you don’t have to take the cats with you when you visit cat cafes right?” Sirius teased, gently running his fingers through Pumpkin’s soft fur as she brushed against his legs.

Kuny laughed, resting his arm behind Nado as he leaned back into the couch, “They choose us, we just can’t refuse them.” He said, a soft smile spreading on his face.

Shaking his head, Remus reached to pet Pumpkin who had sprawled across Sirius’s lap, “So we leave you guys alone for a couple weeks and come back to you adopting two cats.”

“Three.” 

Their heads whipped up to look at Nado who was smirking, “We got three cats.. And well the last one. It was more like he adopted us.”

Asher looked up from where he was nuzzling into Milo’s fur, “Where’s the other kitty?”

As if he heard them talking about him, Loki let out a loud meow from the kitchen, followed by another long one.

Kuny and Nado sighed, sharing a glance as Kuny got up, “Probably stuck on fridge. Again.” 

“You spoil him, Zhenya. He’s big enough to get down by himself, but he knows you’ll come get him.” Nado said, shaking his head.

Eyebrows furrowed, they watched Kuny wander into the kitchen. Remus could hear soft whispering, but it was in Russian so he had no clue what the man was saying.

Nado looked over at them, “Loki jumps on the fridge if he feels that he’s not getting enough attention from Zhenya. And he stays up there until he comes and gets him.” 

Kuny came back in, followed by a massive cat who was trailing as close to the Russian as possible without stepping on his feet. 

“Jesus Fu-..” Sirius said, cutting himself off with a glance at his son.

Asher’s eyes were wide as he looked at the new cat, “Uncle Nado, you got a jaguar?!”

Laughing, Kuny picked Loki up, cradling him in his arms like a massive furry baby, “No jaguar, Ash. Just big kitty.” The massive cat nuzzled into Kuny’s chest as he sat back on the couch, letting out a loud purr now that he finally had his human’s attention. 

“He’s a maine coon cat actually, they think he’s around one or two years old.” Jackson said, reaching over to scratch at Loki’s head.

Remus raised an eyebrow, “So he’s still growing?” He asked as the giant cat stretched out, sprawling across Nado and Kuny’s laps but his eyes were on the newcomers. “I’m feeling vaguely threatened.”

Kuny shook his head, “Nah, Loops, no threat. He's a big cuddle bug. You can pet him, Ash. Let him sniff you.” He said, as the little boy handed Milo off to Nado. 

Asher moved slowly, holding his hand out for Loki to smell his hand. The big cat watched the tiny human curiously, sniffing at his hand before he got up. The tiny human had a small lap but it would have to do. Loki flopped down into Asher’s lap, almost covering him completely as the cat let out a loud purr. Asher’s face lit up as he looked between his parents and his uncles.

“He likes me!” Asher said happily as Loki curled up, nuzzling up into the little boy’s neck. Remus couldn’t help himself as he pulled out his phone, snapping pictures of Asher and Loki. 

Smiling, Nado set Milo back onto his shoulder, “Well, I’m not surprised he likes you, dude. Loki’s a good judge of character.” Asher held the giant cat closer, his massive grin partially hidden in Loki’s fur.

Sirius couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he saw the happiness on Asher’s face, “Dammit… now we’re gonna have to get a cat.”

Letting out a laugh, Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius’s head. He couldn’t even disagree at this point.

Guess they should start looking at shelters. 

[rattyoakenbitch]

From the prompts you reblogged could I please request: “[character] NO!” / “[character] YES!” With thorin please ❤️ -dumbassunderthemountain

relaxing in bed, sipping my tea, lofi music on, gettin’ ready to write for my favorite dwarf ever! this is the life. hope u enjoy this! <3

pairings: thorin x reader

warnings: lots and lots and lots of fluff (and very little angst but not really angst?)

“Ohmigosh, just stay put!”

Thorin furrowed his eyebrows together at the faint sound of your voice. He pressed his ear up against your bedroom door, your giggles becoming much more clear to him. He decided to eavesdrop a little bit longer before interfering.

“Ah! Hey, stop doing that! This dress was expens- You little devil!”

Your playful giggling rang throughout the room as your footsteps became much faster, as if you were chasing something around. Curiosity getting the best of him, Thorin opened the door, entering the room. 

You were kneeling on the floor, looking under your bed, your back turned to Thorin. 

“Y/N..” Thorin grumbled. “What on Middle Earth are you up to?”

“Wait wait wait!”

“Answer my que-”

“Shut up!” 

Thorin let out an exasperated sigh and walked over to the bed beside you. 

“Aha! There you are, you evil creature!” 

Before Thorin could react, you reached out under the bed and pulled a furry little creature out, holding it in your arms like a baby. It let out a little mewl, causing you to giggle once more. You held the kitten up to Thorin and picked up its paws, making a little wave gesture.

“Y/N. No.”

You stuck out your tongue at Thorin, mocking him. “Y/N. Yes!”

“Absolutely not, Y/N! We’ve already gone over this.” Thorin face palmed, shaking his head. He exhaled, “What made you think it’d be a good idea to keep a pet here?”

“Well..” You started. “I was taking a walk this morning and found this little guy on the streets. Nobody was paying any attention to him soooo I took him back here, cleaned him up, fed him, and played with him a bit.”

Thorin looked around the room, just now noticing the knocked over items, scratched up curtains, and so on. 

“A bit, huh?” He said to himself. “Mahal, it feels like I’m babysitting a child.” To be fair, you were many years younger than Thorin. Thorin leaned over to you, inspecting the little kitty in your arms.

“And,” you added, fake pouting. “Since you never spend time with me anymore, it’d be nice to have a little play mate who at least appreciates my love and affection.” Of course you were being sarcastic, but Thorin sensed the hint of seriousness in your voice.

“So.. Have you picked a name for it.. her.. him?”

“First of all, it’s a he.. Second, nope.” You played with your hair, pushing your hair behind your ears and turned to Thorin. “I was actually waiting for you to come back to help me pick a name for him.”

Thorin let out a small chuckle, looking at the kitten, then back at you. “Really?”

You nodded eagerly. “Mhm!” 

Thorin took a little moment to think while you looked up at him, admiring his ethereal beauty. You found yourself cheesing wildly, thinking about how lucky you were to be made for him and him for you.

While you were lost in your own thoughts, Thorin could very easily tell what you were doing. He wasn’t stupid. Every time you thought you were being sneaky with your lingering stares, Thorin was quick to catch you. You made it too obvious. However it did boost his ego, and he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy it.

“Well? I’m waiting,” you said sassily, playfully rolling your eyes at Thorin.

“Oh, really? Well I was waiting for you to finish your daydreams about me.” Thorin noticed your eyes widen, your cheeks going red with embarrassment. “Didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Trying to change the subject, you cleared your throat. “Yeah, uh-huh, well, what have you got?”

“Garbage. We’ll call him garbage.”

You pouted. “No! Keep that up and I’ll kick you out of the bed. Then the kitty can sleep with me.”

Thorin looked the kitten in its eyes, narrowing his piercing baby blues. He felt jealous of the kitten for stealing away his One. 

But Thorin knew how passionate you were about animals and decided not to be a big grump and ruin this for you. He silently accepted that there was no way you were going to just let the kitten go after forming a little bond with it.

Thorin paused for a moment. “Theo.”

You let out another giggle. “Theo? Really?”

“Oh, don’t laugh at me.”

“No, I’m not laughing at you! It’s such a cute name. I didn’t think you’d be good at this.”

You let the little kitten down as it was beginning to fall asleep and joined Thorin on the bed, pulling him down to lay next to you, catching him off guard.

Thorin started, “You know.. Kili’s allergic to cats.”

You scoffed. “Well, it’s a good thing it’s not his cat, right?”

“Yeah..” Thorin hummed. “Then I guess I’ll have to stay home more often, now.”

“Awe! Could it be that Thorin Oakenshield is a big fluff after all?”

Thorin rolled his eyes at your childish teasing, but laughed anyways. He had to admit that he did miss this. He was always busy with his kingly duties that he never had as much time for you. Thorin figured it was time for that to change, realizing how much he was missing.

He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of your yawn. You raised your arms above your head and stretched, before plopping back down beside Thorin. You struggled to keep your eyes open as they got droopier by the second. Thorin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you under the covers with him, holding you close.

“You look exhausted. Come here.”

You hummed, “I missed this.” You desperately clung onto the sides of Thorin’s tunic, as if you were holding onto your life. “Are you going to leave again tomorrow?”

Thorin thought for a moment. 

“No, not this time. But don’t worry about it.” He rubbed your back, soothing you to sleep. “I’m right here.”

[lulu2992]

To be honest, there were a lot of things I already knew before listening to the 70,000+ files but there were also some things I was unaware of. So here’s what I really learned or am glad I got confirmation on:

Contrary to popular belief, Whitehorse didn’t just turn a blind eye on what Eden’s Gate was doing. Even though, before the Reaping, they were peaceful and just stockpiling, he was suspicious and decided to write a report he sent to the state and to the FBI. Nobody did anything. Whitehorse did try to do something but no one helped him.

The bombs that destroyed the USA at the end of the game were most likely North Korean.

Absolution and New Dawn’s canonicity is… debatable. For Absolution, it makes total sense because the book was written months before the game’s release by someone who was not part of the dev team and who had to write a story based on an unfinished scenario but, for New Dawn, I really don’t understand what happened.

The Book of Joseph is mostly canon. No information about Inside Eden’s Gate, though. It kind of contradicts the game’s cinematic intro but this intro is not canon to me anyway.

Peaches was spayed. I secretly hoped she was the mother or grandmother of New Eden’s cougars in New Dawn but it’s impossible. Unless they retconned that too, of course. And she does bring dead animals as gifts.

Dutch can’t hunt or be in the woods because it reminds him of Vietnam. Grace used to be afraid of heights but managed to get over her fear by climbing a tower a little higher each day. May May says Merle drinks because his girlfriend left him but Grace thinks it’s because his high school friends died in an accident at the reservoir. Either way, it’s pretty sad. Sharky is lactose intolerant and has “ADD” but he wasn’t a furry before New Dawn. Wheaty is allergic to “pretty much anything with fur” and never washes his clothes. As a consequence and since he showers only once a week, he smells really bad.

Charles, Tweak, and Virgil are all cinnamon rolls in their own way. If Charles changes the subject every time Virgil asks why he hasn’t started a family yet, it’s not because he’s shy. Tweak might be left-handed. Casey, Chad, Sarah, Skylar, and Walker are underrated characters. According to Adelaide, whom I consider an expert in this area, Zip is a terrible, terrible lover.

We already knew about the infamous watery mac-n-cheese but Sharky also says he ate the worst potato salad in his life at one of the cult’s barbecues. Eden’s Gate members truly can’t cook.

Joseph isn’t your typical cult leader and doesn’t take advantage of his followers. He genuinely believes he is the good guy and cultists think they are doing the right thing. The Judges were his idea. Or God’s, I guess, since he got this idea in a “vision”.

John is the best interrogator and knows Jerome’s most secret secrets (whatever they are). He is also an efficient lawyer. Sadly, civilians have no respect for him and fear him less than they fear his siblings. They also say he is a “control/neat freak”. His bunker is the cult’s pantry.

John’s obsession with the Deputy is not just a figment of the fandom’s collective imagination. I’m not saying he really is “in love” or “attracted” to them because that’s still speculation but he canonically can’t function properly because of them.

And last but certainly not least, Faith is not in danger. She is the danger.

[jihyuncompass]

could i request the rfa (+ v & saeran if you have time) with an mc who has a Really Big Dog (like 3ft tall on all fours nearly 200lbs. kind of big)? i'm really curious to see how jumin, zen, and jaehee in particular would handle that lmfaoo (and thank you!!)

Hello! Sorry this took so long to finish but I hope you enjoy it!

Zen

Alright, so I think there are two scenarios here.

1. He’s allergic to dogs, just like he’s allergic to cats. 

2. He’s a dog person. 

In the scenario that he’s allergic it’s going to be a little difficult. I have a feeling he would be a little more chill about it with you in comparison to how he is with Jumin. 

Still, he might be a little uncomfortable being around your dog. He has appearances to keep up after all! He keep up appearances if he’s breaking out into hives and sneezing endlessly.

However, if you give Zen some allergy medication and convince him that he’ll be fine he’ll calm down.

However, in the situation where he isn’t allergic. 

This man is a dog person through and through. 

I also absolutely see him as being a big dog type of guy too. Just imagine Zen waking up early and taking your dog on morning runs. He would not only have a running buddy but also a running buddy who could keep up with him! 

Also, his social media becomes FLOODED with images of your dog. Especially ones of your dog and him.  

(They’re obviously the cutest photos ever. Definitely his most liked photo)

Also in general I think that a big dog would match Zen’s energy really well. (That being tall, beefy and probably extremely nice to hug)

So, in short-

Allergic: Will take time to adjust to but he’ll calm down eventually

Not allergic: He’s going to have a great time, and you might find that your dog will end up loving your boyfriend more than they love you. 

Yoosung

Considering that he wants to be a vet. Loving animals is part of the job. 

Definitely one of the most excited members of the RFA.  

In fact, expect your dog to absolutely fall in love with Yoosung. 

He will practically be inseparable from that dog, he’ll be playing games and the dog will be laying right by his feet. 

Also, with Yoosung’s career you’ll never have to worry when your dog is sick. Just give Yoosung a call and he’ll be there to help right away. 

Having a dog in a his life would also help him with his mental health struggles. 

During the days when he’s struggling, having an animal there helps motivate him and get him out of his mental funk.

Having a dog also gets him out of the house. Gets him to go out on walks to the park, around the neighborhood, etc, 

He finds his mental health slowly starting to get better. While he couldn’t quite explain why at first. It wasn’t hard to see the difference. 

It’s of course a very good change to see in him, he seems happier, more active and more lively. 

Your dog may unintentionally become Yoosung’s emotional support animal. 

You’re not super offended by this however. It’s just good to see Yoosung so happy, and so positive for the first time since you’ve met him. The other members of the RFA notice and comment on it too. 

It doesn’t take long for the three of you to become like a little family. 

And it’s so wonderful. 

Jaehee

Considering Jehee isn’t a big fan of Elizabeth the 3rd, getting her on board with a dog might be a little difficult. 

Here’s the thing. It isn’t that she doesn’t like animals. She just doesn’t like all the hair and the mess that they make. Jaehee’s a busy woman and animals can be a lot of work to take care of!

So first of all, it may take some time for her to warm up to your furry friend! Let them bond a little bit and get comfortable. 

If I’m being honest I think of the main things you would need to get Jaehee to feel on board you’re going to need to be willing to take charge of the cleaning/care for your dog. 

She can absolutely help! But I think her problem would lie more in her feeling like she has to be the main person responsible. 

It’ll of course take some time. Just like it does for anyone to get really comfortable with an animal. It may even take her a little longer than most. 

However once she does she’ll definitely fall in love! Having a dog will also force her to take breaks from work and take care of both herself but also the dog. 

(Also if she has a dog then Jumin is far less likely to have her take Elizabeth the 3rd let’s be real.)

In summary: It’ll take time. It won’t be immediate. It won’t be simple all the time. However, with time and with adjustment. She’ll grow to love having a furry companion with her! 

Jumin

Jumin... is complicated. 

First off, he’s a cat person. Elizabeth the 3rd is his entire heart and soul and he loves that little cat more than just about anything. 

So at first I think he’ll be very very hesitant about the idea of a dog. 

This is only compounded by the fact that your dog also isn’t very small. They’re much much bigger than Elizabeth, and even weighs more than Jumin does. 

So with Jumin it’s quite a bit of a process. Similar to Jaehee it’s going to take a very long time for him to feel even remotely comfortable around your dog. 

Start him off with small doses first. Just to get him comfortable and familiar.  

I have the personal headcanon that Jumin was also a little uncomfortable with Elizabeth the 3rd at first. It had taken some time before he felt like he understood her. 

Your dog will be similar but I do think it might be a little longer than it was with Elizabeth for him. 

Dogs just tend to have very big and very social personalities. Cats often tend to be a little more reserved, a little more his speed. 

While it’ll likely take a bit of time. I have no doubt that he’ll grow to love your dog. (Maybe not as much as he loves Elizabeth the 3rd but let’s be real there is no animal in this world that could ever reach her level.) 

Again, it’ll take time. It won’t be an easy process. But you’ll get there. 

Seven/Saeyoung

Seven gives off huge dog loving energy first of all. 

With Seven’s level of energy and enthusiasm he’s the kind of guy who would thrive with a dog. 

And a big dog? That’s even better! Especially if that dog has a whole lot of energy too. 

I can just see Seven running around with a dog. Playing with toys, playing fetch, tug of war, etc. That image just fits with Seven so so well. 

Similarly to Yoosung I also think having a dog would be really good for his mental health. 

Part of having a dog also includes needing to take them out on walks. Which means going outside and moving around. Seven can’t do that stuck inside at his desk chair. 

Being able to go on long walks is not only good for his mental health but also helps him get some energy and clear his head. Especially when he’s stressed. 

Honestly I think of all of them Seven is probably the one who would be the most excited to have a dog. The adjustment period pretty would wouldn’t exist. You wouldn’t even have to try. 

Also your dog would absolutely adore Seven. It hardly takes any time before they’re basically best friends. 

It’ll be a good thing for him in more ways than one. And it’s definitely a match made in heaven. 

V/Jihyun 

Honestly I think Jihyun could get along with just about any animal. He just gives off that vibe. 

Give him a dog, cat, rat, ferret, snake, bird, I genuinely think he could get along with them. He’s a pretty flexible person.

I think the first thing that he would need to get used to is the energy of a big dog. As flexible as V is he also isn’t someone who is known for being extremely energetic.  

Yet I really don’t think it would take too long for him to adjust to having a dog. It might take a little bit, but really not that long in the grand scheme of things. 

I can just imagine V going on long walks with your dog. Going on long hikes, nature walks, or even just walking around the neighborhood to get some fresh air. 

While the energy may be something he has to get used to once he does he loves just going out with you and your dog. Playing and enjoying all of the wonderful things the world has to offer. 

Also, obviously V takes lots and lots of photos. 

V doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to run a pet instagram account but you might, and you would absolutely use his photos for it. 

And just like all of V’s friends. It doesn’t take long for V to decide that he would do just about anything if it meant keeping your dog safe. 

Someone needs to remind V that being self sacrificing isn’t a good thing. Even if it’s for a dog

Saeran

At first, adjusting for Saeran will be incredibly difficult. It’s not that he doesn’t like your dog. But your dog is big, and probably energetic

And Saeran is a fairly small guy. He’s also someone who isn’t used to being around dogs or animals in general. 

So you might have to introduce them in small doses. Get Saeran used to being around your dog and their energy level. 

It’ll probably take a long time but eventually when he manages to get comfortable he finds himself getting really close to your dog. 

I honestly think Saeran would really benefit from a Service animal or an emotional support animal. An animal whose goal is to keep him safe and as comfortable as possible.

Like many dogs your dog can sense when he’s struggling, or when he needs a distraction. 

Have you ever been crying and have a dog start barking at you and trying to get your attention so you stop? Yeah your dog will definitely do that for him. 

One thing he’ll insist on is making sure all the plants in his garden and at home are not dangerous to dogs. The last thing he ever wants is to have your dog eat a flower and get sick. 

While it may take time. Once he becomes used to your dog it’ll be one of the best things that ever happens to him. 

Besides you. Of course. 

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x09)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 09: I’m Allergic to Bad Memories

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: *shrugs*

Word Count: I am sick. But I am out of stuff to keep my loud mind busy. So here we are. Be grateful to the Gods of k-dramas

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The chirps of concern were a train of ramblings coming in between the nudges little orange furry paws were giving you; smushing your lips, your cheeks, booping your nose. The only time they stopped was when that echo that resulted in your unconsciousness announced a little plan. “How about I be of some help, little one?” Lulu stood up on his hind legs while he and his camera saw a pair of pale hands stroke your head ever so gently, whispering something foreign under a sweet breath. The next second, you stirred, perking up the little furball- who smushed your face and head with an endless amount of rubs with his own. You groaned before a yelp found its way out of your throat as you felt the bump at the back of your head thump with piercing pain. “Ow! Ow ow ow ow.” “Ah,” the soothing voice called out from outside the frame, “you hit your head pretty hard, dear.” The realisation of the stranger came a little late- maybe because of the concussion, maybe because of the angelic voice that seemed to make you feel at ease- and once it did, your eyes widened while your legs moved your body away from… “God?” you gasped in question while Lulu’s camera looked at the aged women smiling down at you with a glow unlike any. “More or less, yes,” the glowing woman in a gold dress chuckled before bringing her hand forward. “Come, let me help you, dear.” You tried catching your breath there. “Wh...who…” The smile on that bewitchingly calm face brought this uncalled ease inside your chest. “I’m Frigga.”

. A shrivelled high-pitched scream eroded the den as Javier stood frozen at the expressions similar to that of a spooked out little child on the face of the head of the universe’s deadliest mafia. “No, please do not hurt my face!! That is my one good asset!!! You always hit me where it hurts the most!!!” Taneleer cried. The camera focused from the ball of luxurious fur whispering on the floor to Loki- who stood there with his arms across his chest. “I didn’t even hit you yet. Quit being such a pain in the a-” “Ssso what! You were thinking of hitting me,” Taneleer huffed while he looked up at Loki, “I could see it in those snake eyes of yours. Like you will bite my-my h-head off!” Loki sighed and rolled his eyes.

Loki: *bags under his eyes* I am…*blinks tiredly* surrounded...by the most idiotic scum of this universe *camera pans across his shoulder to show Taneleer calling his henchman* “As long as they are here, make sure that little Terran is safe. Otherwise, I will cut off your limbs and feed it to the street rodents,” he hisses.

“I cannot believe you just thought of hurting me for that Terran,” Taneleer tsked and jumped in annoyance, “she is getting between our friendship.” “You were never my friend,” Loki delivered the blow with a straight face while the boss felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. “And to think I made little marble figures of us both hanging out in Knowhere,” he whispered with the hurt reflecting in his voice. “Who is she to you anyway?” He pouted. “Who is this creature to have you travelling by her side as if you are...she is...you both...what is she to you?!!” “Just get me my fucking grace,” Loki raised his voice while rolling his eyes, “or I swear to all the power in this universe I will personally make you suffer for frying my brain cells with your utter nonsense. What are you trying to do? Buy time till your rotten brain can figure out how to make up an excuse for your incompetence?” Taneleer’s slouching and sad figure straightened up and raised a finger. “More like, trying to buy time before I really tell you who I sold your grace to.” . “Frigga?” The camera took in the glowing pale face smiling in your direction as it nodded in your direction. Your face, on the other hand, was a mess of confusion, surprise and the worst possible daze just sitting on top of your forehead. “Like...Loki’s mom Frigga?” A sparkle went off in Frigga’s eyes as the already glowing face seemed to shine four times brighter. Her eyes widened and her smile seemingly found a reason to grow wider. That was till some uncertain thought crossed her forehead and her smile twitched and transformed into an unsettling concern. “This is…” Frigga trailed off. “Weird?” you tried helping her. “It’s usually Thor that people know me through.” “Huh...makes sense.” “How...do you know Loki?” “Oh, I’m his friend. Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you.” “Ah,” Frigga nodded and mirrored your smile before confusion punched that softness away. “I’m sorry, you are what?!” The Lounge Scott sat on the sofa reading the latest copy of One Piece while the big screen opposite him showed Loki threatening Tivan by his collar. The screen did not seem to take his attention but the figure looking in front of it, going to and fro more times than Scott could count. Actually, Scott stopped counting after six about an hour ago. "Instead of working your legs, it would be better to work that mouth for your friend, don't you think?" Natasha called out from behind the counter, sipping on her kale smoothie. The words stopped Steve short, his whole face a mixture of blushing horror. "W-what." "That's not what she means, you thirsty grandpa!" Scott called his thoughts out without raising his eyes from the latest in Wano arc, "go talk to him." Steve blinked and regained a part of his lost senses, slowly moving towards the dorms. "And kiss him senseless while you're at it," Scott added, stopping the captain midway to give him an irritated glare- one that Natasha was loving.

Natasha: *smirks* I have to say it feels good to have someone else make thirst jokes on Steve too *Camera pans out to show Scott smiling for the lens* Scott: It's me *points to self* she means me. Natasha: I guess there are more coming? Scott: *gushing* you have no idea

The Den “So, if I were to summarise what you just told me, midgardians have no quarrels with Loki, Thanos has been defeated and my son is living with the Avengers now.” Lulu’s camera caught seriousness in Frigga’s brows while you nodded. “And I’m his friend,” you added with a smile before looking at Lulu’s camera.

You: I stressed that for reasons *shrugs nonchalantly*

“Right,” Frigga acknowledged. “So, how is my son? Is he here? My essence is only supposed to be released in his presence or someone he…” Frigga paused and looked back at you, this time with the keen observation that seemed to make you a little uncomfortable. “He is somewhere in the back with the anime-hair guy. They are trying to find a way to get him out of these cuffs my dad made so he couldn’t use magic. Long story. But we got teleported into some galaxy far away and now we are here to help Loki get his powers back so we can go home.” You thought best to blabber than stand there in awkward silence while Loki’s mother was giving you a deep mental once over. “And by we I mean me, Lulu and Javi. We are all friends. Lulu is the little baby we adopted on the way,” you cooed and smiled at the little pile of soft fur purring on receiving scritches from your under his not-so-visible jaw. You looked back up to watch Frigga’s fingers rest on her lips to mask some sort of emotion you were too late to read.

Frigga: This cute little midgardian keeps calling herself Loki’s friend *tilts head* and then tells me they adopted an old beastling’s offspring as their child. *contemplates* So...do marriages not happen on earth lately? Or is this something my son came up with? *raises her brows* no matter the story, *waves her hand* I am not letting him lose this precious one.

“Let’s go meet Loki,” you jumped in controlled excitement taking the first step to lead the way before freezing right there. “Wait,” you interrupted your own buzz with a grim expression, “how do I know you are one of the good ones?” “I beg your pardon, little one?” You sighed, feeling a little heaviness settle in your chest. “How do I know you are not going to hurt him?”

You: Yup *purses lips* reasons *stretches the corners of her mouth in regret*

“Did you just ask me if I was dangerous for my own son?” You could already feel the mother hen judgment even when you didn’t stare into her eyes. “I know,” you sighed, “it’s the space. My nerves are overworked and the only thing I can think of is Loki.” “...” “-’s well being.” Clearing your throat, you nodded at your own words, stealing a glimpse at the camera. “That usually does not happen. I can assure you that.” The surprise at your sheer audacity melted within ten seconds to give place to something soft and glowing; along with something else. You did not expect Frigga to bring forward her hand and cup your cheek with her palm to gaze into your soul while you stood there with disbelief dripping from your skin. “Your hand is so warm,” you commented after flinching a little at her touch, waiting for her to say something. But Frigga took her time, her thumb stroking your cheek while you witnessed the corner of her eyes glistening. “By the Norns, you have been one gentle soul through such wild storms haven’t you, dear,” she whispered, forcing you to grow more confused for a second, “why would someone hurt such a precious soul.” Lulu’s camera moved with Lulu’s body suddenly on alert. He could feel the change in the atmosphere right when the camera caught your crinkled brows release themselves to some invisible realisations that were either too quick- or too heavy- to bring tears to your eyes. All that your face carried was bearings of something that stopped time for you while your tears ran as much as they could; and with them ran your breaths getting shallow by the second till Frigga engulfed you in her warm embrace, her hands soothing your back. “Forgive me, my child,” she whispered, never leaving your cold figure, “forgive me for bringing it all back.” Lulu’s whines and unknown movements from the corridor made Frigga bring herself to face a dazed you. “You are one brave human, my dearest. Trust in yourself. And you are not alone. Take good care of my son till I can see him one last time.” With those words hanging somewhere in the midst of your ears and your brain, she left with a peck on your forehead, dissolving into the same light she was radiating all along.

The Dorms and Their Outer Surroundings The camera zoomed in to focus away from the leaves and into the french window of Bucky’s room where he and Steve sat in their respective love seats five feet apart, trying their best to keep their composure while trying to come up with words. Steve cleared his throat. Bucky moved the bottle of water on the coffee table towards him. “So…” Steve’s throat barely made any noise the first time while Bucky’s red face tried to hide under the shadow of his long unruly hair, “I heard that...ahem...that you…” “I’m gay!” The confession came like a shot of rifle mid-air, taking both Bucky and Steve by surprise. “And that’s o-okay,” Steve stressed, sitting up straight, “it’s okay to love anyone you want.” “So-” Bucky’s fingers wrung each other under the internal pressure to get the words out- “is it...is it okay to love you?” Unknown to them, another camera standing outside in the lawn witnessed an excited Scott perched upon the top of the tree with the headphones on to hear every word they said. And just as the confession came, the poor man caught hold of his chest, muttered, “my heart,” and fell from the branch while his red-headed accomplice waited for more. “Is it okay to love you now?” Steve was on pause, his attention solely taken by Bucky’s words and eyes. “Bucky,” was he was able to get out before standing up, forcing Bucky to mirror him. “I know this may seem out of the blue, Stevie, but I have always...always only had eyes for you. And I know times were different back then, but now I finally have the guts to tell you how I feel and I would completely understand if you don’t-” The words were stopped short right on the lips when Steve took Bucky by the collar and kissed him. “FINALLY!” a victorious cry came from the Black Widow right beside the camera, making the poor thing wobble and fall down lens first onto the ground.

The Weird Den Javier’s camera already caught the shimmer of an orb disappearing from right in front of you as he entered the room but his company was too late to notice any of that golden light that had just illuminated the room. The moment Loki entered the room the camera recorded his senses going off. His eyes ran over every corner of the room, over Lulu rubbing himself on your legs while trying to draw your attention, and then back to your figure standing in the middle with your back to him. “Y/N?” he called out, taking one cautious step at a time. You flinched. That stopped him right in his tracks. “What’s wrong?” Lulu’s camera caught your hands wiping away the tears before turning to face him. That effort was not of much use as both Loki and Taneleer could make out some real tears had been shed. “Nothing. Did you find something for your cuffs?” your nasal voice did not help your case either. Taneleer raised his hands a little as he stepped close to you, bringing forward a dense black fabric. You took without much thought and blew your nose into it, making the boss gag behind you. Loki clearly wanted to ask you about the reason behind those tears but those lines of latent rage in between your brows made him go the other way. “We will have to travel a little further for that, I’m afraid.” You sniffed, finally feeling the air in your nostrils. “Cool. Let’s go,” you muttered nonchalantly and walked out.  Taneleer’s eyes widened and he aggressively gestured his guards to follow you.  Loki’s brows raised themselves in question. “What just happened?” . “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Javier’s camera caught the grit of your teeth as you sat down in the transportation vehicle that looked like an exoskeleton of a schoolkids’ van. “I said I’m fine,” you pressed with zero emotions in your eyes. “Then why are you crying,” Loki pressed back while casually leaning on the doorframe and watching you with his intense gaze. You scoffed. “Because I’m allergic to you,” you spewed into the air and shifted to face away from him. Taking full offence of that statement, Loki opened his mouth to say something before shutting it back. Tight. “You know I’m still single right?” Tivan whispered from behind the God with a smirk. The latter did not pay much attention to his words. “I’ve taken some of your inventory. Don’t bother getting it back in one piece.” Loki was about to step into the van when Taneleer decided to open his mouth. “She knows you are here.” Loki paused, his hand resting on the frame and his biceps feeling a tug under his dark shirt. “She knows you are out of hiding, Loki. She will come for you. I know you already know that. And she will come for anything-” his gaze shifted from Loki’s beautiful back to yours- “-that stands between her and you.” No words came from the other side except for the tap of a finger on the frame before Loki got inside the van and came to sit next to you. Tivan’s guards were already putting the vehicle in full throttle to fly towards your ship while Loki waited for you to say something. But you were stubborn in your own way, not letting out a peep but turning to watch where exactly Loki is sitting. “Lulu,” he stressed with a note of caution when he did not let Javier secure him in his seat, leading to the fur-boy slump in his seat and sulk till Javier presented him with candy. At the same time, you scooched closer to Loki- still not facing him- and let your fingers feel his overcoat in them. Your eyes still carried the remnants of the tears along with a hidden hurt that you did not want to show anyone. But the high definition cameras everywhere were quick to catch it all; even the slight break of your heartstrings when you felt the fabric of comfort in your fingers move away. It also captured the shock that followed when you felt his arm come and rest behind your neck to prevent the discomfort of the metal rails on the back of your head on this bumpy ride, giving you full access to take the support of his shoulder and arms in that moment. You didn’t even realise when the waterworks came again. “What,” Loki looked at you expressionless, “I’m just resting my arm.” You blinked and took in the snot rising up in your nose. “I’m still allergic to you,” you muttered while resting your head on his shoulder. A smile born for two seconds was seen by no one except the camera.

[svtxsoju]

00. prologue | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is!  ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Pairings TBA!  ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, underage drinking, mentions of sex, language, bad jokes ღ Word Count: 2.6k words ღ Binu’s Note: hi to anyone who is reading this!!! i’m super excited (and kinda nervous :0) to post this bc i’ve been working on this project for a while now. aaaa i hope there are at least some people who can enjoy it! this is a relatively short-ish chapter but it’s p dense with exposition lol but anyway if ur reading this, thank you i love you!!! 

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ Navigation ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Introducing The Front ’s New Romance Advice Columnist: Miss Soju! 

We all have an ideal: an ideal type, an ideal first date, an ideal relationship. The problem is love isn’t ideal at all. And sooner or later, we find ourselves sitting on that plastic chair in that tent on the side of the road with an ache in our chest. You’re hurt, confused, and kind of going crazy-- all the tell-tale symptoms of heartbreak are there. And the only cure? Soju, of course! 

Finding a decent partner and maintaining a healthy, sustainable relationship is difficult enough as it is. Then layer it with the culture shock of university, where you’re experiencing actual adulthood for the first time without mommy and daddy to hold your hand. It’s enough to make anyone lose their minds! Sure, you could always turn to your friends for support and advice, but in all honesty, they’re even more of a mess than you are. 

That’s why Mansae University’s affiliate newspaper, The Front, will be reviving our romance advice column this fall! Each week, Miss Soju will be answering all your burning questions, and that means all of them. Her expertise touches on topics as simple as explaining to that one guy that your love is fated because you passed each other at Yuhaeng Quad, like three times, and extends to more extreme situations that require an anonymous veil, like how to confess to your new boyfriend with the furry fetish that you’ve been severely allergic to animals since you were three and you have no idea how any animals act, let alone… Yikes. 

It’s true, college is full of new and bizarre experiences, some we must go through and some we’d much rather avoid. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet the love of your life here. But it’s okay to admit that you need a little guidance through the mystical and confusing world of college dating. Miss Soju has got your back, and she’s not afraid to hit you with that real shit. As she always says, good advice is like taking a shot: sweet on the lips but burns your throat as you swallow it down. 

Monday, June 3rd, 2019 3:07PM

“Jihoon, I don’t know if I can do this.” 

Name: So Joohyun. Major: Journalism major with a minor in communications. Estimated graduation year: 2021. Desired position: World News Journalism Intern. That was what she had put on her application for The Front’s junior internship program. She had made sure to attach her published articles and to emphasize her interest in-- no, her passion for-- reporting compelling stories on an international scale. Not once in her application did she indicate that she was an expert in love or sex, let alone qualified to give others advice on the subjects! In fact, she was probably the least qualified person on campus for this position, which was probably the most perplexing aspect of the whole situation. 

But despite all of that, there she was, sitting in Yuhaeng Quad with her best friend, reading the promo piece she had written for Miss Soju. Jihoon had been ecstatic when he had thought of the nickname back in high school. She had snuck bottles of the alcohol over to his house one night after finals week, and he had drunkenly claimed that the name was doubly clever since So-ju were also the first two syllables in her name. When the newspaper had told her she needed an anonymous pen name, it was the only thing she could think of, mostly because creating a secret identity had made her in desperate need of a drink. She changed her mind. Having a secret identity was equally as perplexing as pretending to know how to spice up people’s sex lives. It was like she was some kind of Love Spiderman. She was not ready for that kind of great power or the great responsibility that came with it!

“‘I don’t know if I can do this’?” Jihoon repeated her words slowly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say those words in that order. Can I take your picture? I need to commemorate this moment.” 

“Can’t you see that I am having a crisis?” she whined. “The integrity of my career is on the line because I’ve never bothered to go on a date!” 

“When are you not having a crisis?” Jihoon laughed. He sat up from lying down on their picnic tarp to give her full view of his smug grin. Originally, he had dragged Joohyun outside in hopes that the perfect summer weather would help relieve some of her stress from the past week. He even found her favorite spot under the shade of an ancient tree that overlooked the stretch of green field. But Jihoon could not call himself a proper best friend if he passed on an opportunity to rub all of this in her face. “This is what you get for chickening out on all our group blind dates! I could have scored that hot bassist girl with the thigh tattoo, but nooo, you always had to put your career first.” 

“Sue me for having priorities!” she huffed. Leave it to Jihoon to chalk this all up to karma. Now that he mentioned it though, she couldn’t help but feel like a higher power was taking a piss on her life. Or maybe it was just the shit-eating smile on Jihoon’s face that had her on edge. Joohyun tried to avert her focus to a couple of boys tossing a frisbee around instead, but somehow that irked her too. The idyllic weather, the carefree students, everything that was pleasant seemed to mock her sour mood. She pouted at the ground in defeat, and continued, “You are the first person to know that if I was told that dating and fucking around were going to be crucial to my journey to becoming South Korea’s top journalist by the time I turn 25, I would have become a hoe long ago.” 

“Woah, are you gonna start your thot phase for this? Are we gonna have a hot girl summer?” The boy began to bounce excitedly. Joohyun felt it was high time to give him the finger, but she also felt a small smile tugging at her frown. “Easier said than done, though. Remember Jessi from high school?”

“Yeah I remember,” she said with a sigh. High school romance had lured so many of her friends into its clutches, with its enticing promises of sweet chocolates and stuffed animals, and she had helplessly watched from the top of the class as they forsook their grades for boys who didn’t even know what deodorant was. She only shuddered to think of the state of their grades after a nasty break up. It was then that Joohyun had decided that her future was not worth risking over a boy’s attention. “Which is exactly why I never got involved in all that mess in the first place.”

“This must be the gods telling you that it’s time to.”

“What kind of fucked up god sets up a virgin as a love advice columnist?” she asked the sky loudly. If she had known there was anyone listening, she would have insisted that her question was rhetorical and was not in need of any type of response! However, the gods cared not for grammar technicalities on the mortal plane. They just couldn’t resist the chance to respond to someone so openly questioning their decisions with some good ol’ spite. Honestly, with the way things were going for her lately, Joohyun probably should have expected the frisbee flying merrily towards her face, even if she hadn’t just challenge the universe. 

“Oh fuck!” Joohyun jerked out of the way and felt the frisbee thunk against her shoulder instead. “Ow.” At this point, she didn’t even have the capacity to be annoyed; she just braced herself for whatever misfortune life threw at her next. 

“Sorry about that!” A boy called out, jogging up to them. As he came into clearer view, she noted that he looked far from misfortunate, and also had to remind herself that staring was rude even if someone was unnaturally handsome. His features were soft yet striking, like he had been carefully sculpted from cotton candy. Or maybe a fluffy rain cloud? Joohyun shook her head a little as if that would get her to stop staring so shamelessly. She speculated whether it was the sun that made it look like his blond hair was a glowing halo. Okay seriously, stop staring! He gave Joohyun a sweet smile when he reached them. “My friend got a bit distracted. Now that I’m here, I can’t say that I blame him. Hope we didn’t do too much damage!” 

“Uh,” was her captivating reply.  

Jihoon, never one to miss such a ripe opportunity, piped up beside her. “She’ll be fine. This is Joohyun, by the way.” 

His smile widened at Woozi’s introduction, and Joohyun could swear there was an actual twinkle in his eyes. “Nice to meet you both. I’m--”

“Yoon Jeonghan!” They all looked towards the call. The ethereal boy let out a startlingly loud cackle at the sight of his friend, who gave the two strangers a sheepish wave before continuing to gesture for Jeonghan to return. Joohyun must have been put in a staring mood, because she didn’t miss how his friend’s big ears were a shade of pink and how they bloomed into a cherry red when they briefly made eye contact. She caught herself wondering if all the boys at Mansae University were always this cute. 

“I guess I better go,” the boy named Jeonghan shrugged. Joohyun felt his fingers brush against hers when he took the frisbee from her hand, his eyes glinting mischievously. Now she was sure she was seeing things. “See you two around!” 

They both watched him retreat in an awestruck silence. That was certainly… unanticipated. Even long after Jeonghan and his friend were out of sight, the brief encounter left a blanket of fogginess lingering over them. Had she not felt his fingers on hers, Joohyun would have easily believed that it had all been in her head. At the same time, she was pretty sure that she wasn’t bold enough to conjure up someone that looked like that on her own. As she continued to fathom how a human being could glow, Joohyun felt the fog dissipate into the warm summer air. She felt like she was waking up from a disorienting dream, and she blinked to hasten the process. To her growing bewilderment, she found that her heartbeat was steady as she came back to her senses, her mind seemingly devoid of the panic and doubt that had plagued her all week. It was a gasp of fresh air. 

Jihoon, on the other hand, had long broken free from the strong impression that the blond boy made. He noted the dazed look on his best friend’s face and rolled his eyes. Who knew that a pretty boy was all it took to make her shut up a bit? He nudged Joohyun impatiently, so that she could pay attention to him while he roasted her for totally flubbing her chances.  “You thinking of risking it all for that guy?” 

In an instant, Joohyun slammed herself back into reality just to shove Jihoon away from her. “That is so not happening,” she said a little too indignantly. Before Jihoon could reassure her that the guy seemed interested enough even though she had only said a single syllable to him, Joohyun suddenly turned to him very seriously. “Do you really think I  can do it, Jihoon?” 

“What, bang that guy? I can try calling him back here if you want,” he snickered. 

“You know what I mean!”  

“Okay sorry, I couldn’t resist,” Jihoon replied, his grin now melting into a familiar smile, the one that could put her at ease on her lowest days. “I just don’t know why you have to ask. You and I both know that you kick ass at writing. You’ve written about stuff like natural disasters and the student protests, no problem at all. It’s not like you have a PhD in environmental science or politics. How is this any different? ”

Joohyun scrunched her face as if Jihoon had just suggested that chocolate milk came from brown cows. “Dude, they’re completely different. Those articles were reporting on facts. I did research, I conducted interviews!” 

“That’s what I’m saying, Joo!” Jihoon exclaimed suddenly. As smart as she was, he couldn’t help getting a little giddy whenever he thought of a good idea before her. “Why not treat Miss Soju like any other of your other projects? I mean, love is probably one of the most well-documented experiences throughout history, and people are still going through all the same shit. There’s probably thousands of resources for a man simping on a hot chick alone. You can even take your pick, like movies, songs, books, weird couples on Youtube?You don’t need to have experience, because you can just do the research! ” 

“Research?” Joohyun repeated. If there was one thing that she was good at, it was doing the work. From the moment she had decided to become a journalist, everything she had done was a strategic move to get her closer to her end goal. She had spent sleepless nights perfecting the details of her writing, countless hours reading through endless archives of old articles. Hell, she even restricted herself from dating for years just so she could focus on keep her grades up. It was almost too easy of a solution. Maybe she was meant to do this after all.

 Another couple of months of research would simply be another hurdle on her way to the finish line and she was getting closer and closer. Finally, she felt a smile spread across her cheeks, a real, genuine smile. “I… I can do that.” 

“Now that,” Jihoon said as he took her hand in his, pulling her up to her feet, “sounds like So Joohyun. Or should I say Miss Soju?” 

She laughed as she dusted the grass off of her butt. “You know, it’s probably not a good idea to include the first part of my name in my anonymous persona. It makes it so obvious that it’s me.”

“Yeah, I mean it would be obvious if people actually knew who you were in the first place,” Jihoon scoffed, narrowly dodging a kick from her. “That’s a good thing for you! Anyway, let’s get out of here, I have a couple of tweaks to make to my song before releasing it tonight. Could you listen to it by the way? I need to know if it’s too cheesy.” 

“Oh, the song you’re writing about your mystery muse?” Joohyun hummed playfully while packing up their blanket. She followed after her best friend as he began the short climb uphill. “I don’t know if I want to, you’ve been pretty out of pocket today.”

“Hey!” he said defensively. “First: I don’t need a muse for my songs, I just have a very vivid imagination and my talent does the rest. Second: I literally just stopped you from giving up on your lifelong dream of becoming a journalist, so I think you owe me one. You’re just jealous I can write love songs without having an existential crisis.” 

“See, that is what I mean by out of pocket,” she paused for a beat. “I may be willing to listen to your song. For a small price, of course.”

“Okay, deal,” he agreed without hesitation, missing the way Joohyun deviously smirked beside him. They reached the concrete pavement at top of the hill and headed in the direction of his nearby apartment. “What is it this time, Ms. So?” 

“Well Mr. Lee, thanks to your lovely suggestion earlier, I have been inspired to begin work immediately. So we shall be watching Twilight on movie night,” she said all too gleefully, mostly for satisfaction that Jihoon’s twisted face of disgust gave her. 

“Do we have to?” he groaned.

 “It’s for my research!”

[thefloatingstone]

We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order; 

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet” as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped  idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

[holylulusworld]

Broken Hearts & New Beginnings - Part 6 - Always trouble with the ex

Summary: After losing the love of your life and your daughter at the same day you close yourself off. Hiding in your house you talk to no one until your new neighbor a divorced single parent brings you back to life.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, JJ Ackles, OFC’s

Warnings: angst, coping with loss and death of loved ones, comforting, fluff, bitchy ex, romance

Broken Hearts & New Beginnings Masterlist  

Four weeks have passed since Jensen kissed you and slowly you get used to his lips on yours or his hands gently touching you.

So far you only cuddle and kiss each other, Jensen knows you are not ready to jump into a new relationship, so he takes it slow, making sure you feel comfortable with him.

JJ seems to have no problems with seeing her father kissing or touching you. If anything, she’s excited, even starts calling you her ‘new mom’.

Last week she came home from playtime with one of her friends and exclaimed you must move into Jensen’s house soon.

You adore the little girl; she has a special place in your heart. At first, you felt guilty to feel anything for a foreign child after you lost your beloved daughter, but JJ makes it impossible to not like her.

“Y/N! Look!” Squealing JJ shows you her latest drawing. It’s a picture of Jensen, JJ and a woman holding a doll.

“Oh—that’s nice.” Smiling you gently stroke the little girls head. “Is that your daddy and mommy?”

“Noo!” JJ gasps. “That’s daddy, me and you.” Giving you a wink, she points at the doll in your hands. “That’s Emily, you know as she will always be with you.”

“JJ…” Sniffling you kneel to hug the little girl tightly. “That’s very thoughfully of you.”

“I know she’s with us, Y/N. I bet Em’s is a little angel and watches over you. I want you to be happy and thought you would like to see your daughter.” Holding back the tears you nod, looking at the picture once again.

“You are talented, JJ. Maybe you should draw a picture of your mom too.” JJ stiffens in your embrace, shaking her head violently.

“I don’t want to, Y/N. Last time she tossed it onto a pile of magazines. I saw it lying in the bin later. My mom doesn’t like my drawings…” Letting a hickuped sob out JJ gives you a sly smile. “But you like them…right?”

“Those are beautiful. I like the flowers in the background and the dog next to your daddy.” Nodding JJ smiles as she tells you that her mother always refused to buy her a dog.

“Oh, Emily wanted to have a dog too. Sadly, my husband was allergic and refused to let me get one for Em’s. Maybe I can talk to your daddy? You could adopt a dog from an animal shelter. I know one close by.” JJ’s eyes round and she looks up at you in awe.

“You would do this for me, Y/N? I love you!” Squealing JJ hugs your tightly and you chuckle as the little girl can’t talk about dogs, and how much would love to have a furry friend.

----

“Jensen, can we talk?” Jensen smirks before he presses his lips to yours, loving you lean into his touch. “I meant to talk, not kissing.”

“Sorry, but you looked so kissable today, Y/N. Did you and JJ have a good time?” While Jensen prepares sandwiches, you hand him the ingredients. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Did you ever consider getting a dog for JJ?” Glancing up at Jensen, imitating his daughter’s puppy dog eyes you smile as he nods. “I promised her to talk to you and ask if you would consider getting a dog from an animal shelter.”

“So…my girls conspire now?” Laughing Jensen pecks your cheek, as he wraps one arm around your waist. “We could go to the shelter this afternoon. I got the day off; JJ is back, and we can have ice cream later.”

“Awesome!!” Wrapping your arms around Jensen’s neck you jump up and down till you realize you act like a child. “Sorry…”

“Sweetheart you can jump at me anytime. I like you want to see my daughter happy. Don’t ever try to act differently around me, okay.” Kissing your forehead Jensen smiles as you gently slide your hands over his chest, just looking up at him.

“Logan always hated when I acted like a child or got too loud. I loved him but somehow I always had the feeling I need to hold back around him.”

“Y/N, no one should give you the feeling you can’t be yourself around him or her. My wife was the same. She always wanted me to be the star, even at home. Sometimes I just wanted to run around with sweatpants and a tee, not in a suit.”

Standing on tiptoes you peck Jensen’s lips, giving him what he needs.

“I like you in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I mean…ahem…I saw pictures of you in a suit; you looked hot and dapper but…” Trailing off you lick your lips. “I prefer the carefree man in old jeans.”

“You are my kind of girl. Now let’s tell JJ we will go to the animal shelter this afternoon to have a look at the dogs. Maybe they will allow us to go for a walk with one of them.” Jensen smirks as you run out of the kitchen, calling his daughter's name.

----

“They are all so cute, daddy…oh…look!” Grasping your hand JJ drags you toward a puppy. The little dog is whimpering, and you can see the little girl is in love with the dog. “Can we take him, Y/N? He looks so sad and lonely.”

“It’s a girl, JJ.” Ponting at the name tag you explain to JJ the name of the puppy is Hope. Listening closely to your explanations she nods eagerly, barely able to hold back the need to pat the dog's head.

“Can we go for a walk with her, daddy?” Pouting JJ looks up at Jensen and his heart melts as you walk toward an older dog. The poor guy lies on the floor, sad and without hope.

“Lucky, huh?” Jensen watches you kneel to gently stroke the dog's head, calling his name till he lifts his ears slowly. “You lost your hope too…”

“You shouldn’t adopt that one. He lost his owner and doesn’t react to anyone, ma’am.” A girl with braces mutters. She doesn’t seem to have compassion for the old dog, so you ignore her, calling Lucky’s name and he lifts his head.

“Good boy.” Patting the dog's head, you ignore the boring looks of the girl, simply talking to the dog. “He’s lonely, is all. That poor guy needs someone taking care of him. I’ll take him…” Mouth agape the girl scoffs, walking away to get the papers.

“You want a dog too?!” JJ squeals, running around the room. “They can play together, Y/N!”

“Whoa, slow down, Baby. Let the poor guy get used to Y/N and we can have dog dates, JJ.” Jensen explains, smiling as you won’t stop stroking the dog's head.

“Let’s ask if we can adopt that little guy and the old boy over there for Y/N…”

----

JJ is smiling as she carefully carries the puppy toward Jensen’s house. She can’t stop talking about dogs, going for walks and how your dog and her puppy will be best friends soon.

Lucky is slowly trotting next to you, glancing up at you now and then. The old dog seems to sense you lost someone you loved too, as he opened to you, even let you fondle his ears.

“Good boy, Lucky. Do you want some of the huge amounts of dog food Jensen bought?” Laughing you look at Jensen who looks offended, even places one hand onto his heart.

You want to say more, want to make another joke as today is the first day you feel like the world doesn’t drag you down but then you see your bitchy neighbor smirk at you.

“What the…” Cursing Jensen stops in his tracks, glaring at the woman standing next to your neighbor. “Y/N, can you wait here with JJ and the puppy.” Nodding you glance at the woman who storms toward Jensen, yelling at your friend right away.

“Mom seems to be angry, Y/N. I think she doesn’t like my puppy.” Sniffling JJ look up at you and your heart breaks for the little girl. “She will take her away from me.”

“No one hates puppy’s, JJ.” Kneeling your wrap your arms around JJ and she hides her face into your shoulder, silently sniffling while the puppy whimpers next to Lucky.

“Shh, …it’s alright. No one will take Hope away from you, Sweetie. She can stay at my house if your mom hates her, okay. Lucky will be happy to not be alone with me…” Smiling at your words JJ looks up at you, nodding eagerly.

“Then I’ll move into your house…”

“Deal…”

Jensen is gesturing toward his daughter, raising his voice and you flinch as he tells his ex-wife you are a better mother to JJ than she ever was.

“Oh…I know everything about that crazy woman! You must have lost your mind to let someone like her get close to my child!” His ex-wife yells and you blink the tears away.

“You’ve got no clue what she’s been trough. Y/N lost her husband and child, due to an accident and took her time to mourn her loss, Megan. This doesn’t make her a bad person or means she’s crazy.” Jensen yells back, defending you at all costs.

“Still, I don’t want her near my daughter!”

“This is not your decision. I got the sole custody for JJ as you refused to show responsibility, Megan. Y/N is good for JJ as she was a great mom and gives my daughter the feeling someone cares about her as a mother should.” Pointing toward you holding JJ in his arms Jensen smiles.

“Do you fuck her?” Megan spats and Jensen shakes his head, just looking at you with his child.

“Y/N and I are friends, but I hope to be more to her someday. For now, we are what we need for each other. No one will destroy this for us. Not you, not our bitchy neighbor or anyone else.” Turning on his heels Jensen picks his daughter up before he leads you and the dogs into his house.

“Wait, I’m not finished…” Megan calls for Jensen, but he ignores her words. “I want a second chance…”

“You’re right, Megan. We are not finished.” Smirking his ex-wife wants to step closer, almost pushing you away but Jensen’s features darken.

“We are done for good. Now leave my ground and never come back here. Instead of taking your child into your arms you started to yell at me. What kind of mother does this to her daughter?”

Watching Jensen open the door for you and the dogs you smile. Logan would’ve never defended you the way Jensen did.

Maybe it was fate you met Jensen and his daughter. Maybe there is still hope for you…

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @sandlee44,@strayrosesbloom, @notyourtypicalrose, @thewinchesterco, @marvelfansworld, @hobby27, @gh0stgurl, @flamencodiva, @jay-and-dean, @voltage-my2dlove, @spnhollis, @chonisberonica, @wittysunflower, @supernaturalenchanted, @shikshinkwon, @yolobloggers, @hhiggs, @laxe-from-outer-space, @ilovefanfic86, @linki-locks11, @eggingamazinglove, @trumpettay, @fandom-imagines1, @thenamelesschibi, @waywardbaby, @straycuties9, @drakelover78, @stuckys-whore, @zxph-yr, @i-love-superhero@unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @deepmuffinspymaker, @katpatrova17, @heyitscam99, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @neii3n, @exo-nova, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel, @cocklesbelli, @echoesofpassion, @lauravic, @shatteredabby, @deanmonandnegansbitch, @sea040561, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @shadowkat-83, @alltimesamantha, @officialmarvelwhore, @meganywinchester, @miraclesoflove, @lu-sullivan, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79, @kayla-2000, @gracefultrenchcoat494, @babygirls-fav, @spnwoman, @amiquette, @alexoloughlinlover31, @geekofmanyforms, @jessica-marsh09, @spnficgirl, @shut-themoonscone, @thequeenreaders, @countrygal17a, @atomicfandombomb, @kteelou, @soryuwifeyxx, @kricketc28, @defenderrosetyler, @shortwinchester, @maybesomedaygayyyy, @tmiships4life, @sabascio, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @bunnybaby89, @pandabiiissh, @maddiedott, @lilulo-12, @theoneandonlymelol, @mblaqgi, @clawsandshotguns, @justsomedreaming, @cassiopeia-barrow, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters, @mscarter213, @jo-like-josette, @mep6811

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2, @supernatural-bellawinchester, @negans-lucille-tblr, @deans-baby-momma, @thefaithfulwriter, @squirrelnotsam, @roonyxx, @neerness, @deansgirl-1968, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester, @butifulsoul125, @lyinginthegingerlocks, @20gayneen, @janicho88, @woodworthti666, @thevelvetseries, @dreaminemz, @akshi8278, @midnightsilver16830, @mrspeacem1nusone, @ria132love, @caligraphee, @the-witch-in-silence, @justanotherwinchester, @multisuperfandom, @jason-todd-squad, @jadesupernatural, @psychicforest, @luciathewinchestergirl, @magssteenkamp, @palefiregiver, @tranquility-or-chaos, @jxackles, @michellemxndes, @addictedtofictionalcharacters, @gabifernandessn

Broken Hearts & New Beginnings Tags

@tuliptx, @squirrelgirl67, @maralisa124, @tftumblin, @mlovesstories, @smoothdogsgirl, @samsgirl93, @thevelvetseries, @fandomoverdose666​, @supernatural3002​

[daddysfavouriteboytoy]

Ruben Winter Rothchester

Name: Ruben Winter Rothchester Nickname: Ruby, Winnie, Bunny (by his older brother) Age: 22 Nationality: American/Irish Sexuality: closet Homosexual Gender: Male Birthday: 29th of July Species: Human Appearance: (Face claim: Finn Wittrock)

Clothing: Ruben is one of those guys who likes when people can already tell that he’s a rich and a well-mannered gentleman by his clothes, therefore he loves wearing warm-coloured, preppy outfits and is only rarely seen in anything else.  Height: 1,79 m Weight: 66,3 kg Piercings: tongue piercing venom, right collar bone, right ear, left ear Tattoos: on his left inner thigh, behind his left ear, on his right wrist Personality: Because Ruben is extremely organised as well as hardworking, he has some natural leadership skills. That's why he often finds himself in a dominant position because he won't compromise or do things for others without a reward. Ruben is also loyal, patient and reliable, whenever he says, he’ll do something, he keeps his words. To the dismay of others, he is very often dispassionate, blunt, cynical as well as independent. Ruben definitely isn't a pushover and can't be taken advantage of. Simultaneously, due to his financial upbringing, he is used to being spoiled and getting pretty much everything he wants which results in him being quite arrogant and snobbish at times, even going so far as to look down on certain people. Also, he values facts over feelings and has an ability to detach himself and act emotionless most of the time. He does not concern himself with the needs of others and doesn't care what they think. At the same time, Ruben will sometimes provoke others just to get a reaction. If he takes a huge interest in a certain person’s behaviour, he can also be a bit of a bully, focusing greatly on teasing them in all possible ways, even flirting if he gets a satisfying reaction. Nevertheless, apart from his bratty and spoiled behaviour, Ruben can be stable and content, however, should anyone manage to anger him to the point of him not being able to keep his rage under control anymore, he can get pretty aggressive, even physically hurting others. The few people who seem to escape his terrible behaviour towards others are his close friends and parents, the only ones who get to see Ruben’s polite and even friendly and helpful side. Likes: teasing/annoying others, small furry animals especially bunnies, being rich, books about weird or creepy things, going out with friends, people accepting him for who he is, tidiness, turning straight guys gay, photography, plants, classical music as well as punk rock, breakfast in bed Dislikes: his family, unfamiliar situations, being compared to his brother, clingy ex-partners, being told what to do, therapy, drugs, having to attend fancy parties or family gatherings, people lacking basic hygiene, being proven wrong, having to hide his sexuality from his parents, fake friends Hobbies: tennis, lacrosse, swimming, playing the piano, judo, karate, collecting books about myths/urban legends/strange creatures/unknown fairy-tales, photography, urban exploring Relationships: Diana Haraya Rothchester – mother; 50 years old; CEO; married Orson Hunton-Blather – father; 47 years old; politician; married Terence Hunton-Blather – older brother; 28 years old; marketing manager; engaged; lives in China Pai Yao Niang – future sister-in-law; 26 years old; mathematician; engaged; lives in China Jackson “Jack” Lawson – fake girlfriend/best friend; 21 years old; college student; fake dating Ruben Occupation: College Student  Position: Switch - likes to fight for dominance but doesn’t mind losing Turn-ons: being rough, BDSM, putting him in his place, scratching, hickeys, multiple rounds, threesomes, roleplaying, pet names/degrading nicknames, risky places Turn-offs: golden showers, blood, knife play, cock rings, orgasm denial, degrading nicknames outside of the bedroom, strong cologne, being teased for too long, being interrupted Other:

is allergic to horses and latex

can cut onions without crying

is surprisingly talented at cooking for a spoiled rich boy

owns three pet bunnies named Sunny, Pearl and Starr

has a fake girlfriend

Backstory: Ruben was not a planned child, which definitely showed in the way his parents treat him. Already during his first year of living, he was raised by maids, nannies and all the other people his parents paid to take care of him, so they didn’t need to. Growing up like this and not knowing any better, Ruben thought this was a normal life and actually enjoyed all the attention and gifts he got to keep his attention off his biological parents. During his childhood, the rest of his family was also rarely home, his parents always travelled around the world while his brother was occupied by his studies and hobbies. It even went so far that Ruben didn’t even know he had an older brother the first few years of his life.Only when the boy got older his parents slowly stood home for longer periods of time. During those years, Ruben started school and his parents paid private tutors to teach him just the same things as his brother, meaning how to play the piano, how to dance and a lot more things. Unfortunately, their youngest son wasn’t really into creative hobbies nor very good in school. Quickly, the two parents began to get annoyed with their child and started to complain about why he couldn’t be as talented as his older brother who seemed to be flawless at everything he did. At first, the blonde spent a lot of time trying to live up to his parents’ expectations and get even better grades than his brother. To his dismay, however, neither of them acknowledged the changing behaviour of their second son. This way, Ruben spent all of his elementary and middle school years, trying to somehow get the attention and approval of his parents by being the perfect son. Only when the blonde eventually started with high school, he realized that it was an impossible task. Therefore, he decided to just accept it and ignore his parents just like they ignored him. Ruben joined a few sports clubs and nearly always met with friends after school if he had time to spend as little time as possible at home.Due to his friends not always having time to hand out when school ended, the rich boy started to just meet with people he met online, even though he never saw them in real life before. Thus, someday he started to befriend the wrong kind of people. One of his internet friends introduced him to his gang, all of those guys were already a few years older and taught Ruben to smoke, fight and drink. The young boy’s behaviour changed drastically once again and he started to get more than just a bit rebellious. From time to time, he started fights on the school grounds, for this reason, teachers often had to call his parents because their son got once again caught physically hurting another student. Normally this only resulted in Ruben’s parents scolding him, but nothing more ever happened therefore the teenager never really thought about changing his ways because at least his producers knew he existed for once. During those rebellious years, Ruben also found out he was homosexual and began dating his first boyfriend. Unfortunately, his parents who were very religious people found out somehow and all hell broke loose. While his mother cried and asked what they just did wrong, his father screamed at him like his son committed some kind of horrific crime or slaughtered someone. Not even when he got remarkably violent once and broke someone’s arm, the two of them were as furious as right now. Although the two adults wanted to kick him out at first, his mother decided against it and proposed to try and save his broken soul by getting him some kind of therapy. His father agreed and not even two days later Ruben sat in a plain white room, in front of some old guy who looked like a paedophile. Already after the first sentence of this odd man, the blonde hated him already. He knew neither his sexuality nor his actions were wrong. Unfortunately, his parents’ thoughts seemed to differ, because they always dragged him to this strange, old man in hopes of him saving their offspring's soul. The only good thing those therapy sessions had, Ruben met his best friend Jackson there. Her parents seemed to be just as idiotic as his own thus the two of them developed a plan shortly after befriending each other, they started fake dating to get out of this shitty situation. Luckily, it worked out for both of them. However, the traumatic experiences of these events left their scars on Ruben. To not ever attract any unwanted attention from his parents anymore, he once again had a chance of character which lasts till this day on, just like his friendship with Jackson.

Starter

[wetookanoath]

a scenerio that popped into my head: They are living in the same apartment building and this orange cat keeps getting on Ryan's nerves always snooping around his balcony and causing trouble, breaking pots etc. He knows the cat is his neighbor's he saw it being let in from their balcony so after this has happened a handful of times he's ready to go and have a few strong words with whoever lives there but oh shit the guy is so tall and hot, fuck

This is not exactly what you asked for and def you didn’t ask for a fanfic, but here, I wrote a fic! The first in WEEKS! So yaay!

[AO3]

The orange menace would appear on the balcony at 4 PM every day without fail. Always looking at Ryan, trying to mess with his head.

If he didn’t know better, Ryan would think the cat could read his mind and appear when he least needed him to. The cat had even learned how to open the sliding door of his balcony, so sometimes he would find it nesting in the kitchen sink which was very inconvenient when Ryan had people over or wasn’t ready for allergic reactions.

Regardless, the animal kept coming back and Ryan kept wondering why, why him?

This time the cat was asleep on his goddamn bed, and Ryan was tired, so tired and so drunk. 

“Fuck it.” 

“Mrrrp”, the cat replied, before blinking at him and curling up into a ball.

All he could do was get himself on the other side of the bed to fall asleep with the orange cat purring at his back.

**

Someone was knocking in his head.

Three soft knocks and a pause,followed by another three knocks. Ryan frowned, that was not possible – someone knocking at his head? What…? Right. The door.

“No… go away…”

He tried his best to ignore the noise, turning on his side facing the window, when he felt something both sharp and fuzzy pawing at his forehead. Still refusing to open his eyes, he brought up a hand to feel around and noticed something fluffy and very much alive resting gently over his head.

Ryan was about to scream demon when a loud purr distracted him enough to suddenly remember last night, he opened his eyes slowly.

The cat was sleeping on his head.

Sighing, Ryan moved to rest on his back, when the knocking on his door started up again. This time louder and fuck– a quick glance to his alarm clock on the night stand told him it was three fuck-off in the morning. The knocking didn’t seem to bother the cat, who was still purring as it pawed gently on top of his head, like it was trying to style his hair.

Ryan frowned, not sure of what was weirder: the orange cat on his head or the person banging on his door at 3 AM.

Maybe he’d get killed, but with all the effort a hungover guy could muster, Ryan got out of bed and went to open the door.

**

Tall Hot And Unbothered was at his door, looking like death. 

His red nose and watery eyes made Ryan swallow and look back into his apartment to see if there were any cameras or a unicorn around, because this couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream or some sort of prank.

Ryan was confused, but the frantic look in his neighbor’s face made Ryan try to smile and the man looked at him with something akin to hope and his heart started to beat faster.

“Hey…”

“Hi, hello.” He said, voice deep yet tiny, like if he had been crying for far too long. “I’m sorry, I know It’s super late–”

“Dude, are you okay?” Ryan frowned.

The tall– way too tall, extremely tall– man quickly dried his face with hands covered by his dark sweater. It didn’t really help his case, it only made him look incredibly vulnerable and Ryan wondered if he was still in his bed, dreaming some sort of strange romantic scenario that would end in the most ridiculous porno his brain could have made up.

He had been very drunk when he came home after all, and it wouldn’t be the first time. Especially when it came to this guy in particular, Tall Hot And Unbothered from 17E upstairs.

Ryan blinked, watching as the guy swallowed and looked down before returning his eyes to his face.

“Allergies.” He excused, Ryan lifted an eyebrow knowing that wasn’t the case.

Allergies was in his room, making himself comfortable in his bed as Ryan tried his best not to show just how infatuated with this man he was.

“I’m just… I’m looking for my cat. He is an orange tabby, has a black collar with a green bell in the shape of an alien head, have you seen him?”

Bless that little fucker.

**

The first time Ryan saw Tall Hot And Unbothered, the guy had been on the phone and had just passed Ryan in the lobby of their building, giving him no mind. Not a glance, nothing. But it had left him starstruck since the beginning.

Nolan, the guy at the desk, had given him A Look after he had asked for a name and more information on the tall man, but he had been a new tenant and Nolan hadn’t had a chance to talk to him just yet. 

It wasn’t until the third time he asked in as many days that Ryan realized desk guy Nolan thought him a creep, and so he desisted.

Still, he couldn’t help himself and the smile on his lips every time they saw each other in the elevator. Tall Hot And Unbothered was polite as hell but still didn’t mind him. Their little dance of good morning and good night wasn’t enough, but damn if Ryan wasn’t the worst at talking to people unless someone else introduced him to them, let alone at flirting.

And so, four months had passed and now, Tall Hot and Unbothered was at his door, asking for the orange menace sleeping in his bed.

**

Maybe Ryan should had noticed that the damn cat started to appear in his balcony, fucking up pots and meowing at ridiculous hours of the early morning, at the same time Tall Hot And Unbothered moved to the building.

Looking at him now, he was more like Tall Hot And Cute, which was the worst possible combination because then his brain would malfunction forever in the presence of this man.

“Obi!” He said, taking the cat from Ryan’s arms and cuddling him to his chest. The cat meowed, looking at Ryan with what he tried not to identify as betrayal. “You’re such a fucking asshole, how dare you?”

Jesus. Ryan chuckled, seeing the man standing in his living room holding his cat. The damn thing didn’t seem bothered at all, it kept glancing over at Ryan with shining eyes and if he woke up dead by clawing, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

At least his ghost knew where to find the irresponsible owner of such a furry little bitch.

Tall Hot And Cute looked at him, and Ryan felt a knot in his throat, unable to talk or move. Maybe he had swallowed his tongue.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, and I was so worried–” He said way too fast. 

Ryan frowned as his head started to pound, suddenly aware of how drunk he had been and how late at night, or early in the morning it was. 

“He hasn’t come in days, he must have been such a bother–”

“What? Days? No, he was just…” His eyes opened wide. “Oh.” Ryan swallowed. “Well, I mean… I didn’t realize he had been staying. I think.”

The man frowned, carrying the cat like if he was a baby. Ryan licked his lips, looking down at himself to remember that hey, he was in his pink boxers with strawberry patterns. Excellent.

“Thank you for having him over.”

“Uh,” Ryan looked up, smiling alike when he noticed Tall Hot And Cute happily smiling at him. He no longer looked dead inside, which was good. He really was good looking. “It’s alright, at least now I know who to call when he keeps eating my plants and knocking them off the balcony”.

His expression changed, eyes wide open as he looked towards the balcony, then to the cat.

“Dude!” He said, the cat meowed angry at his owner and all Ryan could do was laugh at the image. “What the hell? Oh, my God. I’m so sorry!” Tall Hot And Cute looked at him. “Shit, how much do I owe you?”

“I don’t know…” He swallowed. “I haven’t replaced shit, so… It’s okay, really.”

“Fuck…” The man frowned, looking down at his cat who was looking very Not Okay in this situation. “Well, when you do, hit me up with the bill. I’m in the 17E.” He said and Ryan had to bite his tongue not to answer, I know.

Maybe desk guy Nolan was right.

“Sure, man. It’s fine.” He shrugged. “Uhm, I’m– I’m Ryan.”

“Oh.” He seemed to notice they hadn’t introduced each other, and smiled at him. “Shane.” He said, sighing while moving the cat to show it to him. “And Obi.”

“Great,” Ryan chuckled. “Now at least I have a name for him, the orange menace is too long.”

“The orrrrghhh–” He laughed, it echoed in the room as it did in Ryan’s head and he couldn’t help but smile, seeing Shane’s eyes turn into half moons and his cheeks turning red. He could get used to this. “Uhm,” Shane smiled at him, Ryan tilted his head to one side. “Well, I… should let you sleep. I’m very sorry again, I know this was… uncalled for.”

“A little bizarre.” He admitted, gesturing with his hand. “But it’s okay. Uhm…”

“Good night, Ryan. Thanks again.”

He nodded, following Shane’s steps towards his door and watching as the man walked out of his apartment. They smiled at each other, and when the taller guy looked at him one last time and Ryan sighed, debating between watching him get on the elevator or just closing his door and screaming into his pillow.

But a sudden strike of  bravery made him ask, “Hey, Shane?”

“Uh?” The man looked back, walking backwards towards the elevator.

Ryan smiled at the sight. “You want to come over later? We can have a beer, watch a movie…”

The man stopped, blinking before answering with a neutral expression. “Sure.”

“Great!” He swallowed, hands sweating as he tried to look chill. “Around four is okay?”

“Yeah, that would be fine.” He smiled, giving Ryan his back again. The cat meowed. “Good night!”

“Good night, guys!”

Ryan watched as they got into the elevator, Obi meowing again as Shane smiled at Ryan, the door closing before he could see him smile back.

Maybe the cat wasn’t so bad after all.

**

[thisstableground]

what if ruben, instead of the chaotic cat because of allergies, had a dog?

honestly, i genuinely don’t see ruben as a guy who wants to cohabitate with animals at all. he would be somewhat more of a cat person if he weren’t so very very allergic, but even then any animals, and especially most dogs, he finds to be very sensory overwhelming. he doesn’t dislike animals, finds them fascinatng, would never be cruel to one. but he vastly prefers them as a subject of Casual Scientific Interest to watch on a documentary rather than as a housemate

he’s been suggested it before, by family and his former therapist, that some kind of service dog would be helpful. better trained, less unpredictable than a pet dog. but he doesn’t see it, not for himself. he doesn’t like the idea of a dog being around him having a flashback any more than he likes the idea of most people being around. he has, however, always just brushed off the suggestions with “maybe i’ll think about it” or “it would be a lot of effort to make sure my landlord was okay with that” because he’s worried that saying “no, i don’t really like the idea of a dog” is not something that Normal People say, because Normal People like dogs, right?? normal people are more enthusiastic about the idea of a loyal companion to keep you company? but ruben just likes his non-human friends to be more of the silent, leafy variety than the fluffy furry kind

[theclaravoyant]

an addition to the family (david x patrick, schitt’s creek)

AN ~ I don't know exactly how this happened, but I have 2000 words of David x Patrick pro-pet adoption holiday season fluff with a healthy sider of David & Stevie friendship and 'delightfully half-half' Xtn/Jewish David, and I couldn't help but share it. Enjoy! and support your local pet shelters this holidays.

Rated T just in case. fluff. contains mentions of both Christmas and Hanukkah

Read on AO3 (~2100 words)

an addition to the family

After a snooty dachshund rejected his advances, David turned back to his stand and tried his best not to pull a face as he straightened a row of collars. He’d never really got dogs. There just seemed to be something about them he couldn’t vibe with; not even the neat, posh ones. But he could respect that other people liked them – and he certainly appreciated those who aspired to give their pets the best. His pleasure at the very popular reception of their hand-made organic dog treats was very much genuine… even if he wasn’t too keen on giving out the samples himself.

Patrick, on the other hand, was living up to his reputation with the local youths; kneeling in muddy snow at the adoption drive, helping kids get up the courage to pat his charges, which were on the larger side of the doggy spectrum. For some unknown reason that David could only boil down to the mysteries of love, it warmed his heart to notice that Patrick’s smile somehow resembled that of the gambolling Retriever-cross he was currently introducing to the nearest family as Buddy.

“Thinking about an addition to the family?” interrupted a familiar voice. Stevie, raising an eyebrow, over the cup of tea she had brought him.

David scoffed, and took the tea. “Ugh. No.”

“Come on,” Stevie cajoled. “I think it would be cute.”

“I think it would be… messy. And loud. And…”

And something shaggy and black and white, maybe a Husky or a Border Collie, was lying on its back while Patrick laughed and rubbed its belly. It pawed the air in delight.

David cleared his throat.

“Besides,” he finished. “We don’t have room for it in the apartment.”

“It doesn’t have to be a dog, you know,” Stevie pointed out. “Me, I’m thinking about getting a lizard. Or maybe a ferret. Like old Felix here.”

She swung her arm around, revealing a mouse-brown ferret with a white bandit mark across its eyes, wrapped around her arm quite contentedly. David yelped.

“Oh, God! Why??” Eye twitching, he reined himself in. They had customers to think of after all – not that most of them didn’t already know of his lack of affinity for animals by now. Most of them found it funnier than he cared for, to be honest. Still, he pulled out of the dive. “Why- why- why is Felix, um, here?”

“Because I wanted to try out these little hats,” Stevie said, plucking a tiny green-and-red elf hat from the table and arranging it on Felix’s head. He sat up, attentive, almost appearing to clap his hands. If he didn’t have such a rat-like face, it almost would have been cute. And dare he say it, David had an idea to make it even cuter.

“… We also have matching scarves.”

Resigned to his fate, and to sacrificing himself for the art, David picked a green one from the selection and pressed the stud so that it sit comfortably around the ferret’s neck. Felix wrapped a tiny hand around his finger in return.

“Aww,” Stevie said. “He likes you.”

“That’s nice,” David replied, withdrawing his finger with a half-hearted glare. He had intended to be sarcastic but actually, it did feel kind of nice - there was a reason after all, he supposed, that humans had domesticated animals for the last few thousand odd years. Why people then proceeded to abandon the little monsters in droves, he would never understand.

(Maybe he would have, not so long ago. But he tried not to think too hard about that.)

Instead, he focused on doing the best he could for the store. He peddled the dog treats, and cat treats, little booties and hats, collars, toys; everything. He encouraged people to take photos, tag them on Instagram, buy gifts for friends, and of course donate to the shelter. A handful of times, Patrick offered to cover, but since that meant David helping out at the shelter drive as his replacement, David declined. Besides, they were doing well, but it wasn’t like things were flying off the shelf. He got plenty of downtime.

Plenty of downtime to think.

Plenty of downtime to think about the apartment, the budget, the hints that Patrick had been dropping. The shop in Prague, whose resident cat Luna had once got him to buy what remained to this day his favourite mug. Maybe it wouldn’t be all bad.

(Maybe he was already vision-boarding outdoor sun-boxes and cat runs and reading about something called ‘cat mint’. But he wasn’t going to tell Stevie about that.)

Still, by the time the day’s festivities were winding up, David was in a much more pensive state of mind. He packed up their remaining supplies (there weren’t many; as always, he’d planned well) and wandered over to the shelter’s pens to wait for Patrick. Ted was there, explaining some flea drops to Twyla while Alexis made kissy faces at her friend’s new ginger cat. That, David told himself, is what caused him to wander over to the feline side of the selection.

Most of the pens had been cleared out by this point, and most of what were left were the older cats, the scarred ones, the ugly breeds or sickly-looking ones. David frowned; it was, he supposed, to be expected, but somehow if anything, that made it even more sad. His eyes caught the bright yellow ones of a black cat at the end of the aisle. There were a few of those left, too. This one had a scar on his shoulder, a bit of knotted fur where it was healing, but otherwise he was quite a handsome devil. Even if his gaze was a little too insightful for comfort, it kept David’s attention so thoroughly he didn’t in the slightest notice Ted sneak up.

“Hey, bud. How’s things?”

“Uh, good,” David replied, stammering to keep from jumping near out of his skin. He straightened up from his cat-examination angle, and found that a question seemed poised on his lips.

“I see you’ve meet Maccabee,” Ted pointed out, and bent over himself to greet the cat and pull him out for a cuddle, before turning his attention back to David. “He’s been in rescue for a year this Christmas. It’s sad, really; black cats are already least rescued because of some superstition, and with his scar and FIV on top of that –“

“What’s FIV?”

“It’s… like HIV. For cats.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Ted took a deep breath, and sighed it out. “He’s asymptomatic at the moment, but it still means he can’t live with other cats, or go outside where might run into them and get himself into trouble. It’s kinda limiting. Which sucks, ‘cause he’s a sweet little guy now that he’s had his testosterone – you know, permanently lowered - and some people won’t even pet him once they find out.”

Try as he might, Ted couldn’t hold back a little smile at David, who had already offered a knuckle for Maccabee to sniff and couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the little man. It took a solid few seconds for David to notice that Ted had stopped talking, and what he was doing, at which point he dropped his hand and cleared his throat.

“That’s, um. That’s a bummer.”

“It is. Especially because, you know, people can’t get it from cats.”

“Like, not at all? Are you sure?”

Somehow, David’s hand had found Maccabee again, and was scratching absently at the back of his neck. He watched for Ted’s answers closely, apparently unaware of what his fingers were doing.

“Not even if he bit your whole hand off,” Ted swore. “Certainly not if he… I don’t know. Sat in the same room or maybe, rubbed past some clothes…”

Something deep inside David was thinking, as Patrick jogged up the aisle to greet them. He saw who Ted was holding, and pouted.

“Mac’s still here, huh?”

“Yeah,” Ted sighs.

“And David- David, is here?” Patrick didn’t mean to sound so surprised, let alone hopeful, but he had been dropping an awful lot of hints that he was interested in getting a pet. He’d just assumed David hadn’t been picking up on them, or had misinterpreted them as the idea to come here. Either way, it seemed he had a foot in the door, if he trod lightly.

“Can I hold him?” Patrick asked Ted.

“Sure,” Ted agreed, passing him over. “I’ve gotta start crating the others anyway. Just bring him down the front when you’re done.”

As Ted walked away, David frowned.

“I thought you said you were allergic to cats?” he wondered.

“They make meds for that, David,” Patrick assured him, and cooed at Maccabee, letting the cat rub his face into his hand and paw at his shoulder.

“Okay.” David nodded and, more conscious of what he was doing this time, resumed scratching Maccabee between the shoulder blades and around the back of the neck. It seemed his mind had been made up for him – especially as he started to feel the tiny sputtering rumbles of a hesitant purr beneath the coarse black coat.

“Hey, Patrick?” David began again.

“Yes, David.”

“Did you know that Maccabee is the name of the group of Jewish warriors who took back the temple from Antiochus and lit the oil that started Hanukkah?”

Patrick blinked in surprise. “I kinda assumed it was something biblical but no, I didn’t know that.”

“So you didn’t set me up to meet this cat a week out from Hanukkah?”

“No.”

“And you didn’t name him Maccabee?”

“David. I met him this morning.”

“So you haven’t been conspiring for me to get you a furry four-legged friend these last few months.”

“Well…“

“And you didn’t bring Stevie, Ted, and/or Alexis in on this little gambit.”

“I wouldn’t say I brought them in. But yes. I think it would be nice to have a pet! I always had a dog growing up and Rachel had a cat – I miss being around them. And these little guys, they need a home. Mac needs a home, David.”

He lifted Maccabee’s face beside his own, glowing yellow eyes and pleading blue making a point together. Now that David thought about it, maybe they should add some kippot to their holiday hat collection.

“Come on,” Patrick continued. “You said it yourself, it’s basically fate – it’s divine intervention-“

“It’s a fundraiser set up for the sole purpose of helping the shelter adopt out animals,” David corrected. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

But the thought of putting Maccabee back in that sad little cage at this point and walking away was almost too much to bear. The thought of him sitting on the shop counter by Patrick as he worked the books, or batting him away from the menorah and the tinsel, or waking up to him on the end of their little bed – now that, David thought, suddenly felt like it had always been part of this little world he’d envisioned for himself.

And judging by the look on Patrick’s face, Patrick was envisioning something very much the same.

David took a deep breath, pretending to be much more laboured about the decision than he now was; he had a reputation to maintain, after all.

“You promise to clean up his poop?”

“I promise,” Patrick vowed.

“And you promise the allergy thing won’t bug you?”

“Literally got antihistamines in my bag.”

“Then I think we should do it,” David announced. “I think we should bring Maccabee home.”

“Really?” Patrick’s eyes lit up, and he held Maccabee a little tighter to stop from shifting him too much in his excitement. “Great!”

He bounded back up the front of the shelter stands, David following behind with the patient long-suffering smile for once. Ted was waiting at the back of his truck, one last crate awaiting, register and kitty (pun, as always, intended) long since packed away. His smile told David and Patrick he already knew exactly what had transpired, and he handed the spare crate and a manila folder over to David.

“That’s his welcome package – medical records, FIV info, council registration, stuff like that. Take a look, and if you have any questions, you know where to find me.”

“How much-“

Ted shrugged and waved them off.

“All sorted,” he said. “Happy Hanukk-cat, David. Merry Catmas.”

“Thanks,” “Thank you,” David and Patrick replied – and then Patrick added for good measure –

“And a Happy Meow Year.”

They could hear Alexis groan from the front seat of the truck. Ted laughed and joined her, calling as he went –

“Happy Meow Year to you too!”