#guy who hates being perceived now all of a sudden being perceived:

[compacflt]

i totally see mav or ice on cnn going viral over some throwaway comment about eachother

literally their worst nightmare

in the parallel universe where my ice is a real guy he just sat bolt upright in bed in a cold sweat

[bugcatcherkit]

What are your thoughts on Reigen I'm so curious now

Ohhh where do i start with Contradictions Georg himself.... Masking Andy... (clenches teeth) I have to make a list so I don't rant about one particular thing only.

the thing that hits hardest for me about his character is his Existentialism man. it's terribly relatable. Indeed, he is a Very Small Guy in a Very Big World and it's difficult to be Seen because of that. But also he's littered with Fear of Being Perceived and Understood. So he deals with his Existentialism by reaching for something (he doesn't know what) that'll make him somebody (he doesn't know who, just that it can't be his genuine self). MAN!!!!!!

Second thing that hits hard about his character is his unfiltered insecurities and self-loathing. Every time someone goes "We have to talk" he goes over every mistake or possible mistake he's ever made. He's the type of guy to search up the meaning of a word before he uses it, even if he's used it a 100 times before. Because what if he's wrong this one specific time?? Also his insecurities frequently make him act worse (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not) rather than better (as opposed to Mob most of the time) and i appreciate that so much.

I appreciate his Just Some Guyness over his babygirlness (not that they can't coexist i guess). Sorry guys. This is also why i think i prefer manga Reigen over anime Reigen. Like i can appreciate anime Reigen's maxed-out eccentricities and stuff, but overall I like the more Reservedness (?) that manga Reigen has. Personally it makes his groundedness, bad actions, and self-improvement hit a little harder. It goes well with his struggle to display his emotions in a loose and genuine way.

but despite this he's still silly. and frequently outlandishly embarrassing. and these are super important to his character also. Alongside his very genuine concern and care for the lives of others at any given moment.

He's always talking about his interpersonal relationships in terms of the Respect the other party holds for him. and then Separation Arc comes in with a steel chair that says "you have to give respect back to make a relationship Good and Fair and Genuine, idiot."

the only relationship this doesn't hold true to is with Dimple. Neither of them have any respect for each other really. And it's awesome.

i love how he is always just some Mediocre guy. He slowly self-improves certain aspects of his life but at the end of the day he's still paying Grown Man Serizawa 300 yen an hour (last time I checked). So.

Him being Mob's foil also means he has a lot in common with other Mob antagonists. But he has so many Mogamisms that it drives me up the wall. Sometimes he'll say a Mogamism and in my mind Mob looks at him with such a sudden intensity that he gets Scared

I frequently think of the scene where he is at the bar during Separation Arc and he realizes the bar people aren't his friends. And he says "I'm not good at this" and leaves. I don't have much to expand here but just know that when I think of how he experiences interpersonal relationships I think about this line. Because he's so good at a lot of things but Not This (Relationships overall. But also probably solving their problems in the moment).

not a fan of Dad or Uncle Reigen. To anyone really. Sorryyy. No hate to those who are though.

uhhhhhhh umm this has gotten so long. Sorry this is so unorganized i think i do better with more direct questions because i suck at staying on topic/being concise when i have free reign. There's so many aspects of his character that I didn't get to here that I also love. But its so hard to think of them all. I hope this gives you an idea though?

[finalgirl1984]

The thing about the potentials is that they had well potential. From their conception they were cannon fodder. So here's a couple of ideas I had about backstories they could have.

One is a known potential raised from birth like Kendra. She’s training for the eventuality that she gets called. She thinks it's an honor. Then she’s whisked away to SunnyDale, ok cool more training maybe? But no, not only is she meeting the current slayer, apparently there's two now? and this slayer just has people? around? Old british man makes sense, pretty on par for the course. But there's another kid who might be another potential, but doesn't seem to do any of the training? She just researches and stuff. Two other random women and some guy? This could be interesting and give us the kind character stuff Kendra might have gone though had she been allowed to live longer. Her whole world view would have been thrown out of whack. The council never mentioned this slayer with friends and a family. And the fact that there are two slayers now. This woman has ample help and has lived long for a slayer. And she’s done so by breaking every rule they’ve had drilled into them.

Another is living her life. Nice family, going to school, your average teen. Then there’s a break in one night. Her mom manages to shoot the invader but her dad got badly injured trying to keep it from going upstairs where her and her brother slept. He’s whisked off to the hospital, her, her mom, and brother following closely behind in the car. She doesn’t really get a good look at who tried to break in, but it looked familiar. She doesn’t think about it too hard though. At the hospital her mom is dealing with doctors and the police. She goes to the vending machine to get something for her brother to calm him down. An older white guy stops her. Next thing she knows he’s trying to convince her to get on a bus to California. She thinks he’s crazy until he perfectly describes both the thing that tried to break in and those scary dreams that have been happening more often lately. He hands her a ticket and tells her if she wants to be safe and keep her family safe, she has to get to Sunnydale as soon as possible. She never did get that pack of skittles to her brother. She hopes he doesn’t hate her too much for it.

Last is a kid who’s home life isn’t great. She tries to stay out of the house as much as possible. Even when she wants to stay it just as likely for one of her parents to get irrationally angry at some perceived slight and kick her out for however long. It’s fine though, she usually has some place lined up. Unfortunately, the guy she was staying with kicked her out when she rejected his advances. So she’s out at night, all alone, wondering if her parents are asleep and if she can sneak in without being heard, when someone attacks her. She’s not a stranger to this sort of thing, so she manages to get a good slash in with her pocket knife before trying to make a run for it. But there’s another one behind her. All of a sudden they both drop dead, arrows sticking out of their heads. A man walks out of the shadows holding a crossbow. She’s about to take off again when he starts a spiel about monsters and evil and some other nonsense. Then he’s holding out a plane ticket and some cash, saying there’s a place where she’ll have a roof over her head and food on the table. He hasn’t tried anything yet, and he did take those scary guys out so she takes it, figuring if she doesn’t want the plane ticket, she could at least use the money. He walks her home before taking off. She looks at the ticket. Sunnydale, California. Well she could use an all expenses paid vacation and it’s not like anyone here is going to miss her…

[vaolorie]

Eric Cartman's Love for You

version N°1

• Due to his inexperience and character, Eric will not immediately realize he loves you

• He will be extremely rude to you and sometimes unreasonably start yelling complaints about you

• But it's all in order to draw your attention to him. Discuss, shout and condemn him

• If he begins to guess his true feelings, he will deny them. It really sucks. The guys will laugh at him.

• You are his buddy's friend (according to him, because he doesn't want to acknowledge your friendship), so you interact often. Therefore, he will start to stay away from you so that no one sees or guesses about his possible feelings.

• He will become less active and crazy, because in his thoughts you will be the one who persistently suppresses all his ideas, but still follow him, because you admire his recklessness and ability to get away with it.

• Eric will start to pay attention to things he didn't notice about you before (for example, your favorite drink or the most frequently worn accessory)

• With the acceptance of his feelings, the old Eric will gradually return

• He's not going to change, love him the way he is

• He will flirt with you without being shy of anyone, because he is gorgeous

•Offensive jokes in your direction, where he point on the peculiarities of your body

• It is difficult to say whether he would like his feelings to be mutual or vice versa

• He understands you will not love such a terrible person in your opinion.

•But his sudden outbursts of concern for you personally will become noticeable to everyone and if you are not stupid, you will understand that Eric has a completely different opinion of you in fact

•Cartman doesn't realize that he's actually giving himself away. And when the boys ask if he likes you, he swears at them and goes home..

•Eric Cartman is terrible. Selfish, greedy, ugly, not tactful and much more. But he weakens in front of you.

• Yes, yes. He will dream before going to bed, as you and he are dating

• One day, after carefully talking to him in a secluded place about his feelings, he will make fun of you

• He'll turn this story around as if you're head over heels in love with a freak like him and spread the rumor himself

• He wants to be in control of the situation

• He will never let you fall in love with yourself, suffering from his own actions

• But that's Eric Cartman, he's not fixable, he's contradictory

• One day, when you start dating someone else whom he knows well, he will feel burning jealousy

• He was tricked

• He will not let you rest, he will constantly bully you and throw jokes

• But what will his face look like when your significant other protects you and puts Eric in his place

• He will feel betrayed, as if you were once a couple.

• This will be a turning point. He admits that he really loves you, but this will be perceived only as a mockery and a way to sow enmity between you and your love

• From now on, he will hate you and will no longer want to communicate

Version N°2. Yandere

• Believe me, this Cartman will immediately realize he simply adores you

• You are a delightful scum to him

• Eric will cry to his cat and assume that his chances of dating you are zero. But at the same time..

• He wants to own you

• He wants you to be just his treasure

• He is one of those who really decides to kill everyone who gets in the way

• Eric will continue to behave as usual, without appearing to show his feelings.

• But when you interact with someone else, he will burn through that person's gaze

• In addition to your wonderful evenings, he will imagine how he deals with each of his enemies

• For example, how he strangles Kyle in his own bed. Or how to drown Kenny in the pool, after throwing a connected vacuum cleaner in there.

• Now his chances are higher

• He won't deal with girls. Perhaps he doesn't see them as competitors.

• However, he will consider you special. Someone he's no match for. You are completely different, more perfect than him.

• Before the school ball, he will offer his candidacy, trembling all over. But in the end he won't show up because he'll be scared.

• Eric will do anything to get you to just call him.

• He will do it

• And when everything is done, he will tell you about everything in detail, when you will both look at your ex's burning house in a romantic setting while you are tied up on a chair

• But all his deeds will remain only in his fantasies, and in fact, he will do nothing. Maybe

[derangedfujoshi]

Random 3am thought:

Does Ansem need to eat or sleep to survive? Probably not given he's a heartless.

But follow up thought: when Riku took Ansem's form, did he need to eat or sleep? If he doesn't, imagine him trying to lie down to sleep cause that's what his mind is used to. But Riku just- doesn't sleep. So he stares into the void all night. And food just doesn't taste right anymore. Angst insues~

On a funnier note, if Riku does, I like the idea of Ansem complaining about now feeling tired and hungry when he never did before.

Hello there dear and thank you so much for once again allowing me to yap about them!!

*foxes glasses* ok so, obviously when he was just an incorporeal Heartless he didn't need such things, but the moment he indwelled Riku he probably felt hunger for the first time through him! I think he probably felt tiredness as well but his dark power made Riku stronger and helped him push through, although he probably still slept even if just for a few hours...

On the other hand when Riku took on Ansem's form I think he still needed to perform regular human functions, maybe he felt less of an urge tho? Like only a few bites and a few hours could get him through the days? Because it was still HIS body but it was entangled with Ansem's so they "met in the middle" probably.

Lastly, in KH3 Ansem HAD to be indwelling a replica cause, again, he had no physical form before getting inside Riku (lol) and in the same game we CLEARLY SEE Repliku being perceived solely by Riku (when they were talking on the beach and the others were only able to see or hear Riku) because he had no physical body AND YET WE SEE ANSEM GOING AROUND AND OTHERS SEEING HIM AS WELL so he HAD to be inside a replica and we KNOW that replica need to eat and sleep like every other regular human because XION EXISTS AND WE SAW HER EATING AND SLEEPING!

My point is that Ansem, prior to KH3, only knew about hunger and tiredness THROUGH Riku, but after getting his own body he got to experience those for himself and BOY OH BOY DID THAT HAD TO BE SOMETHING! And that perfectly aligns with what you said at the end, Ansem would be SO annoyed at these normal human things xD oh I can see him being SO anal about tastes in food, he totally learns how to cook 5 Michelin Star meals and would HATE greasy and sugary foods. In regards to sleeping I think he would try to push himself at first, fighting against this sudden need to lie down and? Relax? Be vulnerable?? Do nothing??? Absurd. But as he learnt the hard way what not sleeping does to the mind and body I can see him do a 180⁰ flip and be one of those" early sleeper early riser" people to be "more productive".

"Riku you shouldn't eat that much candy" "Riku I know you were playing Disney Epic Mickey: Rebrushed until late, do you know what an irregular sleep schedule does to your mind and body?" This is what you get for dating a guy in his 40s who acts like a 60yo man, Riku xD

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

i. hate this. so. much.

like. what a way to say Claude isn't actually intelligent. can't make his own plans and/or execute them without someone's help. this guy survived most of his life avoiding being assassinated. literally, starting from childhood.

there is absolutely no way his schemes/plans/etc are "nothing" or "just words" without Byleth. Byleth was only in his life for a single fucking year at this point, then out of his life for five straight years.

it's one thing to have a friendship that's made him open up more for the first time ever, etc etc. but his intellect? everything he pours into his plans? Byleth gets all the credit for that?

I don't hate Byleth, but I do hate that Byleth completely wipes all sense of agency from Claude. I do hate that Claude considers his plans and such to be worthless without Byleth. I do hate that Byleth's existence in Claude's life makes him reliant on Byleth - something he absolutely is not in any other route.

I'm mixed on VW specifically because of this. it feels like he gets more done in the other routes by his own hand. he's shown to never need Byleth to get things done. he managed to keep the Alliance steady and neutral for five whole years without Byleth's influence. suddenly Byleth is back, and Claude insists he couldn't have convinced the Alliance lords to go with his plans without Byleth representing the Church.

wouldn't Seteth do more in that regard? he's a known and active member of the Church who has been there for years. he's known to be Rhea's second in command. wouldn't the Alliance lords respond better to the well known and respected Seteth, who is fighting alongside them in war, than to a complete stranger that they're seeing for the very first time? than a complete stranger just walking in claiming to be there to represent Rhea/the Church? why would they even believe that to be true if they didn't trust Claude?

but yet, they trusted Claude enough for the Alliance not to collapse into complete chaos during wartime. but all of a sudden Byleth's existence is the only reason why Claude can do... literally anything?

Byleth, as an individual, is a good character. Byleth, as the player's proxy, is an absolutely terrible character in two, arguably three routes.

in VW, this stuff

in CF, Edelgard apparently can't fight her war properly and has been sad for five years without Byleth... but in the other routes she's perceived to be in love with Byleth there too, and she can wage her war just fine without being unable to do what she set out to do because Byleth isn't there

in SS, the Church just follows Byleth without question and without raising an eyebrow. "Rhea said so" is pretty much the only reason. granted, Seteth openly didn't trust Byleth at first, but he's the only one. I do understand that Rhea wanted Byleth to take over after her and all that, but you could also still argue that the player proxy just walked in and took over the Church; hence, I can see it both ways for SS

I'd argue it's the worst in VW, because at least the Empire is still winning in CF (which if it's the player chosen route, then the player chosen route always wins), and it's winning the war in all routes at the start of the timeskip. Edelgard doesn't attribute the Empire's victories to Byleth in any way (that I can recall) while Byleth isn't present. In VW, as soon as Byleth is back, after the Alliance has been on rocky ground for five years, suddenly everything is different now and they can totally definitely absolutely win. no thanks to Claude, of course, because Byleth is here now!

like, it just makes all of the victories go to Byleth's hands and never Claude's. I hate how VW treats Claude. it's his own route, but he's made to look significantly more competent in all the other routes.

the thing is, I love Claude, and this just ain't it. Claude's victories should go to Claude. Claude's credit should go to Claude. Claude's intellect and ability to plan, maneuver and scheme should go to Claude. Byleth didn't do any of it. Byleth fought in the actual battles and... apparently leads their army (instead of Claude???)??? Byleth didn't come up with anything, only fighting in the actual battles.

and tbh, how is Claude going to inspire trust and loyalty with the other lords if... he can't even lead and has to rely on the current leader of the Church? if his victories aren't attributed to him, why should the other lords have faith in him? if Claude himself is going to demean his intelligence in favor of Byleth's prowess on the battlefield, why should the other lords trust him as their leader?

if Claude is only capable of inspiring neutrality and not victory, he's not a good leader... and that's a problem with the writing, because he is a good leader. he's shown to be a great leader in AM/CF. if they felt on the verge on disastrous infighting with Claude leading them but all settled down for Byleth, what good is Claude compared to Byleth?

and I absolutelyyyyy fucking hate that. VW is Claude's route, and yet it shoves him down for Byleth at all possible opportunities - even unnecessary ones!

Byleth is obviously the player proxy and thus has a strong effect on all routes, but it feels so much more notorious to me on VW. it's the only route that straight up degrades its lord in favor of the player proxy - and in fact has the lord basically outright state themselves as useless without said player proxy.

Claude deserves so much better than this.

I know people say like "Dimitri fans just prefer AM Claude because of Dimitri" and shit, but like... no, I just hate that VW!Claude is treated like an afterthought to Byleth. He's treated so much better by the narrative in the other routes. He can be who he always was, and especially who he was at the beginning of the game (just with growth later on). no Byleth is better for him in the sense that the writing doesn't push him under Byleth's boot.

Byleth isn't better than him in every goddamn regard in the other routes, and he even declines joining the Kingdom army because he has other things to do. He doesn't bow down to Byleth and say it's all thanks to our dear Teach that the Alliance survived. He credits Dimitri and the Kingdom for the help, and he specifically requested Dimitri's help and not Byleth's.

There's no player proxy obsession from Claude in AM. The closest we get is Claude saying if Byleth had chosen him over Dimitri, which is a brief thought he cuts off and otherwise attributes the rescue to the Kingdom army and Dimitri's quick decision to take action and go help them.

At least for me, that's why I prefer AM Claude (and even CF Claude is better than VW Claude's behavior about Byleth). He's not second to Byleth. He's not second to anyone. He defends his country and will even stay to the death to protect them. He's their leader and he acts the part. VW treats him like a figurehead who is second to Byleth, basically making Claude second to the Church.

They're not even treated as equals. Claude is straight up degraded, even by himself, in favor of Byleth.

Buddy. I. Hate. That.

[misspickman]

moss might i please have some trans tim headcanons. or trans kon if you’re feeling it.

Hii blink thank you blink i always have those<3

Kon is nonbinary and transfem to me and i do have a more specific way this happens in mind which is he starts questioning his gender after already figuring out hes not straight, and this is a few years down the line post sb 2011, so hes getting comfortable living on the farm and having a group of friends there, being a part of the kent family (hes never had a family before!!) and its because of that new personal comfort and safety that he can think more about himself as a person and not just. An icon with a role.

I read his tt03 era as his big Repression Period (along with cassie) where he figures he has to be a Normal Real Boy so he ditches the 90s superboy charm for a more traditionally masculine look, which maybe works for his secret identity but isnt what he actually enjoys. So later he starts growing out his hair and tiptoes around more flashy costumes which are daunting now, because kon has a lot of hate for his younger self for being foolish and a try hard, and this all reminds him of himself back then.

Its a slow process but he will get there eventually and i think living with ma helps a lot. Being away from the public eye and with someone who wouldn't judge him for not wanting to look as masculine would do kon wonders. Also he hangs out a lot with the yj girls, and i imagine cissie would eventually she starts putting makeup on him for funsies (and bc cassie doesnt let her) which kon has many feelings about. No worries! Anita braids his hair like she did cissies so many times and kon goes haha does this mean im one of the girls now as a joke and then has many feelings about that too bc what if he Wants to be one of the girls? Uh oh

I have less of a specific timeline for tim so some scattered ones are:

It would take her a long time to make peace with being trans and to come out, bc imo tim would not be a fan of the Coming Out Process. Would hate to do it. Would only do it once its the last feasible option bc shes sick of lying (again) and being seen so wrongly by everyone. I think she just writes cassie a note or something like it would be funny.

Jack having been so obsessed with tim being his perfect masculine son would make all of this especially hard but also make certain stuff make more sense in retrospect. Its impossible to think about tim being queer in any way without thinking back on jacks behavior.

Theres a v sweet image in my head of helena braiding tims hair bc once she lets it grow out tim does not know what to do with it and helena has to do something about that (set in a future where helena knows tims identity. The cowl doesn't really show hair. But boy it must be sweaty gross in there).

While i think kon would be big into makeup and all sorts of fun clothes and shoes i dont imagine tim being That much into it, is not as much of a makeup girlie, loves a nice dress but mostly for occasions and such.

One of the reasons why itd take her so long to figure herself out is she mostly didnt get body dysphoria until she thought of the possibility of Not Being A Man and then started noticing little things that bothered her, bc tim would be very aware of which traditional standards for being a woman she is not fulfilling. Very aware of and held back by the Issue Of Bodies And How They Are Perceived, as you do.

The initial realization would probably be something sudden that she refuses to think about for a while bc tim v much lives by that post thats like i may be trans but i have a job so idc about that rn. Its in the back of her mind and she is Not examining it when there are bad guys to punch out there.

[mikopikopon]

Playing through: A Parade of Providence pt 1

part 2 >>

Spoilers ahead!

Starting off strong.

I love how Kaveh is shaking when he's getting upset. That's so cute of him.

Hatsune Miku, my beloved. Someone, please introduce her to the concept of personal space.

He's the prettiest

Paimon's face as she learned that people do things for money (while she herself is doing things for money).

Everyone is so beautifully expressive in this event ♥

We must all experience failure to grow and mature.

He's so nice when Alhaitham isn't around. I can't put my tongue on it, but I'm sure you all noticed too.

BITCH, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET.BITCH,

Perceive him (I had to pause here for a little while in order for the lightning to change to capture how beautiful Kaveh is. His eyelashes ♥♥♥ His eyeshadow ♥♥♥)

Alhaitham be waking up to this face next to his, what a guy.

K, moving on.

His voice is so pretty. Ben Balmaceda, thank you for your service. Like, he sounds so.... *rips him apart in a million pieces and kisses each individually*

Hold on, i'm not crying, i'm not crying

His tone and how his voice sounds immediately changes the moment Alhaitham is brought up.

He gave her The Look.

Hell yeah, you do that!

Poor girl.

He said Alhaitham in a way it made it sound like "I hate him". I want to think it was on purpose.

I don't know if I want to interrupt their little date.

I knew it the moment they mentioned it. (I hope the Traveler is gonna get it too).

It wasn't that long since you were there last time. (unless he blacked out and forgot everything of what happened at Alhaitham's demo). I also forgot they changed Tighnari's VA, and it gave me surprises. Will take a moment to get used to.

Please submit your applications within the office working time.

Tighnari sounds a bit friendlier now, rather than upset and serious like he did previously.

I love him. Who wrote it, I wish a thousand years of splendor upon this person.

Aether gets prettier with each patch.

Paimon, did you think Faruzan is still a student? And Kaveh too? AND THE HAT GUY ???

THAT'S WHY ALHAITHAM ISN'T REPRESENTING HIS DARSHAN. I thought he already resigned and was just too lazy or sth.

I am no longer excited all of a sudden. What a fucking nerd, I love him for it.

"Paimon meant apart from being very cool", Darling, this is literally the only reason that matters.

[ambrossart]

i loved your dancing with myself series. Made me feel a lot of emotions with how amazing your writing and descriptions are! i just hated and cant get over the fact that eddie said chrissy was his dream girl but kissed reader like basically after this confession? its heartbreaking because she already feels like nobody compared to chrissy and always pretends she is fine even when she does say how she feels but then goes back to coverinf itnup so she doesnt burden anyone :( i just wish reader didnt allow for him to treat her like that, because how can he say he has feelings for her all this time but then say that about chrissy but then all of a sudden start to decide to remember her again and pretend like he wasnt pinning over chrissy? :( it just hurt my heart and i felt like she deserved better

Awww, I understand what you're saying, and I'm sorry to hear you feel that way 🥺💔

This was actually brought up before in a previous Ask, which I'll include here, if you're interested.

Anyway, I think it's really important to stress that Eddie's crush on Chrissy is about as significant as the reader's crush on Steve Perry. It's not nearly as deep as it seems at the beginning.

Eddie's not in love with Chrissy. He's not even sure if he really "likes" her. He just likes the idea of her because she's pretty and she's always been nice to him. It's an innocent, superficial crush that's meaningless compared to the way he feels about the reader.

This is made clear in part 7 when he compares Chrissy's rejection at prom to the reader's rejection (or perceived rejection, at least) in middle school.

Chrissy's rejection:

"Chrissy turned me down tonight, and yeah, I’m a little bruised up, but I’ll survive, y’know? I’ll soldier on. No scars. No permanent damage. It’s easier to recover from a rejection like that because, well, because it was never all that real to begin with.”

the reader's rejection:

“But if I ever met someone,” he said with a sad, wistful smile, “someone I really liked and could potentially see myself with, someone who I thought might actually like me back… If I thought I had finally found that person and, y’know, she rejected me and just totally ripped my heart out and stomped it into the ground… well… how’s a guy like me supposed to recover from something like that?”

Here, Eddie's basically saying, "Yeah, it sucks that Chrissy turned me down tonight. Whatever, I'll get over it. But you... you really broke my heart when we were kids, and I'm still not over it." It's tip-toeing dangerously close to a confession, but Eddie's not comfortable talking about that with her right now, so he immediately denies it/changes the subject when the reader tries to probe further.

So yeah, Eddie might have a small crush on Chrissy and calls her his "dream girl" (a term he never actually uses around the reader, btw. Instead, he says Chrissy is "like a dream"), but that's not why the reader walked out on him in the bathroom after they kissed.

She walked out because of her own insecurities. Something good was finally happening to her, and she started to panic just like she panicked in middle school. And in her moment of panic, she listened to the self-sabotaging voice in her head and made the impulsive decision to leave before she could get hurt. Eddie didn't really do anything wrong.

tldr; Chrissy's about as much of a threat to the reader as Steve Perry is to Eddie. Eddie's little crush on her is superficial and harmless, no different than a celebrity crush.

[alheria]

Ownership (one-shot)

Ghost fucking hated joint exercises.

They always felt so...unnecessary, especially now with his many, many years of unquestionable, extensive experience and equally impressive mission portfolio. He's a cold-blooded, efficient, reliable killer, but apparently that is not enough for the army. The ten days long training scenario with allied international teams was mandatory, what he learned during the hopeless attempt to somehow get out of it.

"Please, don't test my patience Simon. Suck it up.", Price said, not even for a second looking up from the documents he was working on. That guy surely didn't take anyone's crap and it showed. Ghost couldn't blame him, being in charge was not easy, a tremendous responsibility of keeping a bunch of reckless idiots alive mixed with a shocking amount of paperwork. Himself, Ghost would never want to be in such position, immensely enjoying the exclusive field work. But it doesn't change the fact he was still pissed. Fucking bullshit, stupid ass exercises.

And if that was not enough, something weird started happening around his boyfriend.

The new guys seemed to really like him.

Which was rather surprising considering König's intimidating and unapproachable aura combined with the spooky looks of a crazy tall, ripped beast wearing a creepy mask. Also, the young soldier was openly hostile towards strangers, not interested in making friends unless it was absolutely necessary or somehow beneficial. He often remarked that there is no reason to bother if you're probably never gonna meet them again. Quite a reasonable assumption in their field of work to be honest.

Why the sudden change then? What was so different about those soldiers, he decided they were worth his precious attention? 

Ghost had no fucking clue. But wished he had because this whole peculiar ordeal was weirding him out.

They knew each-other for almost two years now, been officially dating nearly a year and a half, and it was the first time he witnessed the Austrian publicly act in such manner: engaging in an actual conversation and using whole damn sentences instead of nodding in silent acknowledgement. Sounds like something completely normal, although not in this case. In addition to being big and scary, König was very quiet and noticeably withdrawn due to rather prominent social anxiety he still struggled with. It took the lieutenant months to get his utterly fascinating partner to feel truly comfortable around him, even though the two of them crossed the intimacy line not too long after they met. And all that hard work to uncover what exactly hides under the thick protection layer was totally worth the trouble.

At least that's how it felt before. Cos right now, it looked like König didn't mind acquainting with a bunch of random people, opening up a little. Perhaps it was a positive sign, he needed to start working on those social skills sooner or later for the teamwork's sake, and it probably wouldn't be troubling Ghost much if not for that one soldier who literally glued himself to the Austrian.

The fucking French guy.

A vibrant red light flashed in his mind the second they got introduced. There was just something about that non-stop smiling man rubbing the lieutenant the wrong way. Cedric, or whatever the fuck his name is, was slightly taller than Simon, but rather slim build, had very short dark hair and something sparkled in his brown eyes when he saw König for the first time.

Since then, he constantly followed the masked killer, talking about devil knows what and making the Brit's instincts scream in an itching need to eliminate the unlikely threat. Why did he perceive this dude in such an intense way was a mystery. Never being in a relationship before, the concept of being jealous was not only hard to comprehend - admitting to it seemed impossible. Ghost was too proud to have such juvenile feelings, especially ones implying he has vulnerabilities of some kind. It was also incredibly stupid to think his boyfriend might cross the line. König would never. They were working great as a couple, their extremely different personalities surprisingly turned out to be a perfect fit, and it was obvious how deep their bond is. Yet, he talked to Cedric as if they knew each-other for years, was visibly comfortable in his presence, clearly wasn't minding the unfamiliar hands frequently touching his arms, back and waist as they laughed together. And maybe at night the Austrian as usual kept sneaking into Ghost's too small for the two of them bed to fall asleep between his strong arms, but somehow this sense of uncertainty didn't want to leave him alone. It was fucking annoying.

So on the sixth day of this shitshow, when Gaz had to physically stop him to prevent a major case of "friendly fire" from occuring, after the French soldier whispered something right into König's covered ear, Ghost decided enough is enough. His boyfriend needed to stop being close with that guy right fucking now, or double murder will be on the menu tonight. 

Not wanting to make a scene in public because it's not how a stealthy assassin operates, Simon patiently waited for an ideal opportunity to strike, forcing himself to stay calm and vigilant while that fucker shamelessly flirted with the seemingly clueless Austrian. Oh, how he wished it was an enemy soldier, not an ally. He would be long dead.

Luckily, an opening to act formed on the very same day, after everyone was done for the day and more than ready to hit the bunks, exhausted by a challenging training scenario, including the lieutenant who after having a work related chat with Price, slowly walked back to sleeping quarters when he saw it, and rage started to burn. There was a hand in the middle of König's chest firmly pressing him into the hallway wall, while the other palm gently pulled on the thin face cover, as if the Frenchman was trying to persuade the younger man to remove it. Which was absolutely not fucking happening for two reasons:

1. There was nothing König feared more than having his mask taken off in public, and would never consent to such a thing.

2. No one was touching Ghost's boyfriend without his consent.

The lieutenant quickly crossed the distance between him and the pair, grabbed Cedric's neck and shoved him backwards, right into the opposite wall.

-Learn how to keep your hands to yourself, or I will fucking break them. -he warned, gazing furiously at the terrified soldier struggling to breathe with a strong hand tightly squeezing his throat. Ghost for a second considered holding for a little too long. End his life. But feeling something repeatedly tug on the back of his shirt, the Brit hesitantly let go of the suffocating man who immediately fell to the floor, and dissatisfied turned around towards the clearly distressed Austrian. His eyes turned glossy, making the lieutenant's anger slightly fade. -With me. Now. -ordered, grasping König's arm before dragging him in their room's direction, leaving the heavily panting man behind.

It was an unpleasantly silent walk, tension so dense, a knife could cut right through. The younger soldier obediently followed his boyfriend, knowing well-enough that a visibly pissed Ghost should not be messed with if one wished to stay alive, what he learned the hard way a while ago when he got himself separated from his team and recklessly injured. 

-Ouch! -the Austrian whined once his already sore body roughly hit the wall the second they entered the dark bedroom. -The fuck you doing Simon?! -questioned when the lieutenant's muscular arms cornered him, desire to kill resonating from his hostile posture.

-You're mine. -he growled. -Mine, and no one else's.

Till death do us part.

-Of course I am, you know that! What is this about?! -demanded the younger man, struggling not to break the painfully intense eye contact, aware his partner hates when he tries to avoid confrontation. It was uncomfortable, but it truly did help to be a little more assertive.

-I just very much dislike my property being played with. -the Brit responded vaguely, confusing the hell out of the other soldier, who thought the anger was caused by his new friend crossing the line when he wished to see the hidden face.

-What are you talki...Ach du lieber Gott! -König gasped once the shocking realisation hit him like a truck. It wasn't about Cedric messing with the mask, it was about Cedric in general! Someone was feeling insecure. There was no reason for him to worry and yet, he almost killed the poor French guy to protect what's rightfully his. -Babe, are you jealous? -he asked confidently, despite suspecting that bringing up such a delicate subject to an already furious assassin might not be the brightest idea.

-I don't get fucking jealous! -Simon barked before dropping his pounding forehead onto the Austrian's shoulder. He was exhausted from all those intrusive, unidentifiable emotions mixed with rage spin inside his mind. -I don't. -sighed in resignation.

He was jealous.

Or rather afraid to lose someone so insanely important to him, the sole thought made him feel sick. Ghost didn't think at this point he could just...let König go. He owned every piece of that beautiful man, who unknowingly had Simon wrapped around his finger.

-So this whole week...you must have been in agony. -implied the Austrian, wrapping the long arms around his boyfriend's wide back, leaning down to speak closer to the covered ear. -Watching Cedric and I get a little too close, spend nearly all the time together, talk, laugh, touch. How did that make you feel? -whispered, gently caressing the tense spine with gloved palms. 

Ghost snorted in disbelief. How did that make him feel?! 

Like there was an itch under his skin he couldn't scratch off. An annoying sensation that intensified terribly any time he saw the two men together, lost in their too comfortable world he wasn't a part of. It fel...wait. What did König just say? Getting a little too close?

...he knew that soldier was flirting with him.

He knew...because he allowed him to!

-...fucking bastard. -Ghost hissed, roughly pushing himself away from the taller man's embrace, pure fury burning in his eyes. -You did it on purpose, didn't you?! You flirted with that French fucker to piss me off! -he shouted, firmly grabbing his boyfriend's shirt and violently shaking the heavy body. -Why?!

-Doesn't matter why! -the Austrian refused to explain, clearly embarrassed by getting caught red-handed, and scared a bit. He just wanted to make Simon jealous, didn't expect his silly game to escalate to the point of being in real danger.

-It does to me! -the Brit informed, his tone somewhat calmer but still dead serious. -Babe, I need you to tell me what I did. Now. -demanded, letting go of the trembling soldier, taking a step back to give him space.

-...you called me your friend. -König mumbled after a moment of hesitation, and upon hearing that, the lieutenant's jaw just dropped.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Roughly two weeks ago, the two of them were chilling in a bar after a "civil" mission in a big tourist city, when an old acquaintance of Ghost appeared out of nowhere. Surprised by this unexpected meeting, he might have introduced his boyfriend as a friend. Which was an honest mistake, the lieutenant was still not used to being in a relationship, let alone talking about having a long-term partner. He didn't even realize what happened until now! That adorable idiot seriously needed to learn how to properly communicate his problems. 

-You're a fool, König. You should've said something, I would've corrected myself, you know I would. -he sighed, gesturing for the younger man to take his mask off. Once the blushed face was in full view, he cupped those soft cheeks and pulled his boyfriend down for a sweet forehead kiss before letting go. -Well, I wanted to teach you a lesson for acting up, but perhaps in this situation, I should let it slide. -the lieutenant shrugged nonchalantly, already moving away towards the tiny bathroom to shower before sleep.

-I strongly disagree! -exclaimed the taller soldier, quickly grabbing Ghost's arm to stop him. -For being a brat, I absolutely deserve to be thoroughly punished!

And, oh, Simon did like hearing those words very, very much.

-Alright then, you attention-seeking whore. -the older man nodded, swiftly removing his own mask as he circled the Austrian and stopped behind his back. -On your knees, sweetheart. -ordered firmly, and without a warning, swung his shin right into the back of the soldier's knees, making him instantly fall to the ground with a loud thump and a surprised gasp. The younger man was thanking the heavens for the soft knee pads when Ghost shortly appeared in front of him, holding his thick, half-hard penis in the large palm. -You know what to do.

König's eyes went wide, dry throat subconsciously swallowed at that mouth-watering sight. Of course he knew. His lips instantly parted, tongue slid out in an inviting gesture, ready to taste the hot flesh. Not wasting any time, Simon roughly shoved his length into the opening, and began to fuck the choking soldier's face, his pace absolutely brutal. It was crazy hot, seeing the scary killer tear up while the fat dick deprived him of oxygen. Nevertheless, the Austrian seemed to lack gag-reflex, clearly well-used to having this cock in his mouth. Thinking about it made Ghost rock hard. The wave of pleasure encouraged him to speed up the thrusts, chase the desired release. To make himself feel even better, he cupped the head and held it steady as his hips bottomed down in the contracting throat.

-Goin' to come, baby. -he groaned, feeling the orgasm approach slowly but steadily. The precise movements soon turned erratic, breathing got louder, euphoric fog clouded the sharp eyes. A few more times the lieutenant slammed into König's mouth before burying himself fully inside to reach the ultimate relief. 

-Good boy. -the Brit praised his starved for air boyfriend as he withdrew, a warm hand gently caressed the flushed cheek. -Now, I'm going to take a shower. In the meantime, you'll get naked, prepare your pretty ass to be fucked and nicely wait for me right here on the floor. -Ghost ordered, crouching down to meet the glossy eyes. -If you touch yourself, I'll break your arms, is that clear? -he asked, firmly squeezing the painfully erect crotch strained by tight pants.

-Yes, sir. -the Austrian obediently responded, earning himself a second tender forehead kiss prior to his partner leaving.

Simon did not plan on taking a break, however it somehow felt appropriate to make König wait as an additional punishment for his shameful behaviour. And oh, despite being more than ready to fuck that slutty hole, he did take his sweet time, knowing his boyfriend won't disobey, will be sitting in the exact spot he pointed at, silently begging for him to return and touch the neglected penis.

Ghost was not wrong, once he left the bathroom, the big, scary, naked assassin was on all fours, chest plastered to the ground, head resting on a flat pillow, wet with lubricant cheeks high up in the air, exactly where they needed to be. The position was so erotic, the lieutenant's dick fully hardened in an instant, a purr escaped his dry throat as he approached, hungrily squeezed the muscular globe while the other hand traced the spine, sliding down to the neck it firmly grabbed and pressed to the floor. Bent over his man, the Brit kissed the burning shoulder and whispered:

-I hope you prepared yourself well.

König's mind glitched when the wide shaft forcefully slammed deep into his tight hole, filling him to the brim. Not giving a chance to get used to the feeling of being stretched insanely wide, the cock quickly retreated, just to thrust again a moment later. Ghost's brutal, powerful rhythm clearly mirrored how he felt seeing his boyfriend around Cedric - like he was about to lose his fucking mind and go on a rampage.

-You're mine, don't ever forget that. -Simon groaned, clawing onto the trembling hips, ensuring there will be bruising. Maybe no one would see it, but the knowledge this beautiful, strong body is marked with his presence was somehow comforting. The Austrian didn't respond, busy moaning and whining as the massive penis constantly grazed his sensitive prostate. After such a long time, the lieutenant knew exactly which angles turn the vicious killer into a whimpering mess. To tease him even more, he slid one hand towards the erection, trapped the base between two fingers that only sat there, putting some much-needed pressure, although not making König feel any less frustrated, opposite actually. -Apologize. -Ghost demanded, slowing down the thrusts, ruining the approaching orgasm for both of them. What was something he did not enjoy doing until one day, by an accident, he learned how emotionally his partner reacts to being denied sexual pleasure once he was close to release.

-I'm so-so sor-ry!...It was a mmmistake! -the younger soldier cried out, his voice muffled by the pillow. -I was s-s-stupid!...Ne-ever aa-gain...promise! I promise! -he assured, hopelessly wriggling his butt to feel some more friction inside, where the soaking wet cock moved horribly slowly.

...so pathetically predictable.

Ghost laughed at that clear distress, and promptly adjusted the speed to get them back on track, his thrusts very purposeful, aiming to make them feel good quickly, so they can catch as much sleep as possible. The hand holding the twitching penis, wrapped fully around it, finally started jerking the leaking shaft as their bodies collided. The sudden flood of arousal overwhelmed König's barely working mind to the point all he could sense was Simon's burning touch. Nothing else existed.

-Now. -the older man ordered, realizing he is merely a push away from falling off the edge. The Austrian understood the vague request perfectly, his stretched insides contracted violently when the painfully hard cock for the last time thrust into Ghost's palm. The Brit's weight instantly pressed him to the floor as he heavily overflowed the hole, his own spending penis uncomfortably trapped between the floor and his chest kept releasing as well, no end to be seen.

They stayed connected on the dirty ground until it became unbearable, too greedy and exhausted to let go right away. Once they parted, the lieutenant had to physically drag the other soldier under the shower, his limbs numb from the awkward position, brain still not operating properly. He was sore, weak and needed Ghost to take care of him. Which always happened, no matter how mad Simon was.

A truly responsible owner. 

-König, you asleep baby? -he asked as they lied together in the too small bed, entangled in a close embrace, the satisfied Austrian peacefully dozing off on his naked chest. -I have something important to tell you.

-Not yet. Soon. -mumbled the younger man, leaning into his boyfriend's hand gently caressing his damp hair.

-Good. -Ghost whispered, and before elaborating further, pressed a tender kiss to the flowery smelling head. -Flirt with someone else ever again, I'll make you dig your own grave.

Then I'll personally snap your neck.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Math for the Win" based on Galatians 5:13-21 and Luke 19:1-10

The math of the Zacchaeus story has always bothered me. Because if he gives half of what he has away, and then he gives back what he took inappropriately TIMES 4, he has negative income really fast. Right? Which would mean he can't fulfill his promise. But he is a tax collector so he can probably do math, so why did he say it?

For the first time in my life, this week, I let myself finish that thought. Because, despite the fact that math isn't usually a great source of Biblical insight, the decades of annoyance about the math just couldn't be silenced.

If the math is impossible, I started to wonder, does that mean that Zacchaeus is actually saying that he doesn't defraud anyone? Because if that is the case, then it would follow that he isn't actually a bad guy, despite being a tax collector! Which would mess up a whole lot of what I thought I new about this passage.

So, like you do, I did some digging in my favorite commentaries, and (shock of shock for those who listen to me regularly) the Social Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels had something to say about this that I found important. Namely that the Greek verbs that Zacchaeus speaks “I give” and “I pay back” are in the present tense, which indicates that even before meeting Jesus, “Zacchaeus is already practicing this kind of compensatory behavior. The trouble is that the crowd does not believe him. He therefore bristles a bit at the stereotyping behavior of the crowd and responds to Jesus with a description of his customary behavior.”1

As someone who heard this lesson in Sunday School and learned a very annoying little song about it that never quite leaves my head, this is kinda crazy to learn. Zacchaeus was a good guy all along! He didn't have some conversion experience upon meeting Jesus, what he actually had was a chance to be SEEN and KNOWN for the faithful human he already was- and the actions of Jesus in going to his house and in giving him a platform to speak were actions of HEALING between Zacchaeus and the community, because afterwards they could see him as he was and accept him as part of their communal life.

And, for the record, NOW it makes sense why he climbed that tree – if he was already a man who lived his faith, of course he'd want to see the guy whose live shined with God's light.

Thanks math.

All of a sudden, this story resonates with some universal truths. Because, who among us hasn't been misinterpreted, misunderstood, perceived in the worst light and desperately wished to be heard well, understood, and appreciated for who we are? I fear the answer is that no one has been excluded from that horrible human experience. The one where the good things you do go unnoticed or sometimes even are intentionally brushed away, and the mistakes you made are used to define you, and no space is given for you to talk about what your actual intentions were nor that you are sorry for the harm you caused. Everything you do or don't do gets interpreted as bad, usually without anyone even talking to you about it directly.

It is awful stuff, right?

And it is common.

And it feels terrible.

Oh how I wish this were one of those things that didn't happen in the church. However, this is a thing that happens in the church. (If you didn't know that yet, YAY!!!!!!!! And sorry to burst your bubble.) I guess, for me, it helps a little bit that Paul speak to this as well, because this being a universal human and church failing at least means it isn't just my own personal failure of leadership that this happens here sometimes too. I take what I can get.

Galatians, being one of the authentic letters of Paul, is a source of great wisdom and insight that still manages to annoy me immensely. In this case, I really hate that he engages in “body soul dualism” and attributes all the evil stuff to bodies. I pretty emphatically disagree. In my opinion, my worldview, body soul INTEGRATION is where it is at. Our bodies are full of useful information about who we are, how we are, what feelings we have, and what we need. Our bodies guide us to the fullness of our humanity, and as we make space for the fullness of our humanity we move toward the Divine as well. Which I think is really important.

Now that I've argued with Paul, I can move on and say that I agree with his opening point that being free in God should not be taken as a reason to bite and devour each other. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves – the ones near and far, the ones in the church and out of it. If you are being distracted by his long list of “bodily desires” and those have been used against you in the past, let me offer the words of Dr. Wil Gafney on this, “In this case the author is focusing on excessive desires and self-gratifying desires rather than condemning the care and ending of one's body and health. Mutual sexual gratification would seem to be beyond rebuke.”2

Now that we've de-escalated our responses to Paul, what we can do with his wisdom that people who seek to be loving to each other sometimes chew each other up and spit each other out – like people did to Zacchaeus? He recommends “walking in the Spirit.” I recommend staying in your body. Really. I recommend letting yourself be mad, or sad, or disappointing in another, and then checking to see if there are any other emotions around it, and then finding out what thing(s) you value are violated and then thinking about what might make those better – and then if you can thinking about what the other person may be feeling, needing, valuing – and then TALKING ABOUT IT WITH THE PERSON.

Yes.

WITH the other person.

Because the Bible is really clear that the best way to deal with each other is directly. Even though it is really hard. Can you imagine if someone had said to Zaccheaus, “Hey, you are in a really awful profession, but you claim to be a decent guy. That doesn't add up to me, can you help me understand?” Or even, “I think you took too much money from me.” Or, “You claim to love God, but you seem to love money. Does that seem true to you?”

Those wouldn't be easy conversations, but they might have changed everything. I have been so grateful in my ministry for the people who say, “I see you doing this thing, and I think you should be doing that thing,” and say it to me directly so we can chat! I've also been grateful for those who say, “I was really offended by this thing you did.” Because we can figure out together what matters to us together and how to find an answer for the future that works for us both. And no one else is stuck in the middle, or pulled into drama, and no one is being maligned. It is a hard, beautiful thing.

I think that's the miracle of what Jesus did with Zaccheaus – he reconnected him to people so the people could talk to him again, ask him questions again, call him out even. He opened up the lines of communication. Because that's what it means to be in community – it means to be in communication with people, including in difficult communication.

Thank God Jesus called Zaccheaus out of that tree, and thank God his math SO CLEARLY didn't add up so he could become multi-dimensional to us, and THANK GOD other people have been misunderstood so we don't feel alone, and most of all thank God for the times when people are brave enough for the hard conversations. Those are the most holy ones.

Amen

1Bruce J. Malina and Richard L. Rohrbaugh Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2003) “Textual Notes: Luke 16:1-16” p. 303.

2 Wilda Gafney, A Women's Lectionary for the Whole Church (New York, NY: Church Publishing, 2021), p. 278.

Rev. Sara E. Baron 

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 

Pronouns: she/her/hers 

http://fumcschenectady.org/ 

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

September 3, 2023

[random-thoughts-hq]

I’ve been questioning my gender in a space safe enough to do something about it and it’s insane

Transitioning was never an option before and suddenly I have a traditionally male haircut and getting called she hurts when it didn’t a week ago. I feel like most people still see me as a girl and I don’t know how to change an initial perception like that but I don’t know. I can finally be one of the guys and navigating the world is so much weirder bc suddenly I don’t know what I am perceived as.

Suddenly I’m experiencing dysphoria with feminine earrings and euphoria at looking like a guy and it’s so sudden and new

I wish I could know whether it’s just another facet of shock of moving out but I remind myself that cis people don’t do this

Cis people don’t go in the bathroom trying to hide their hair under a beanie just to see

Cis people don’t try to find an excuse to cross dress for Halloween

Cis people don’t hyperfixate on guys which similar features because it feels like finding a doppelgänger and what could’ve been

Cis people don’t joke about repressing a gender crisis because they know it’s not an option but don’t want to commit to being a woman forever

But I was happy presenting as female and really fucking good at it

I can’t tell if I just got really good at faking from a young age

I think i did actually

I think back to kindergarten, and reading a story about not being able to fake things forever because eventually it’ll eat away at you

And even then I felt like something was off about me because I could tell I wasn’t my full self

I was special can beautiful as a child and now I’m a guy

So much loss but so much more opens up and I can’t tell where I am

But why didn’t I have more friends who were guys growing up. Nevermind scratch that. I did but I remember when I got to a point where I couldn’t because I knew I’d never be one of them. The only way to be close to boys was to date and I didn’t want that I wanted friendships. I have a beautiful friend group from high school and my bf and I found each other although closeted as hell. But even so I do have amazing other friends who are genderqueer as well. I do regret how I was limited in my friendships bc of my gender expression I feel like I missed out on the depth of what those could have been.

It’s wild looking back and realize how I became hyper fem bc it hurt too much to be a tomboy, too close to pretending to be a boy without being the real thing. I had traditionally feminine interests and found comfort in that, but it never felt right. No wonder I dissociated so much while I danced. No wonder I hated the idea of all women schools and colleges. No wonder I enjoyed using male gendered terms for myself under the guise of gender neutral. No wonder I enjoyed copying male mannerisms and being dominant in a room and questioning gender roles.

And now everything makes sense. I can dance and feel at home in my body. I can take pictures that aren’t perfectly posed or just right in candidness and it finally looks like me.

[parttimepuff]

Beep you really, really should reconsider. Not just for the safety of yourself, but others as well.

The truth is a difficult one to explain in a way that truly encapsulates all of what it entails. In short, Dark Matters like you have a bad reputation because in the past you and others of your kind did horrible things. Your kind is associated with stealing the autonomy of others and committing horrific acts using their bodies. The thing most people associate with Dark Matter are largely traumatic, painful, and scary, and tragically in many cases this is not baseless.

That doesn’t mean you are evil, or are inherently bad, or are less worthy of love and friendship than others. You are not the same as you once were, and I’m not trying to say or imply that you are. But others who don’t know you won’t necessarily see the you that you are now. Folks act in accordance with experience, and unfortunately the experience most have with those like you is bad. Memories can be powerful things, Beep, and Dedede in particular has memories of being possessed by and made to fight those he cared about on multiple occasions. If he were to see you now, with nobody with you to even try to reason with him, chances are he would attack you in perceived self-defense, because as far as he’s experienced that’s the most appropriate course of action in the interest of the safety of himself and his followers. From his perspective it would seem like you broke into his room, and that alone would make him defensive. He can’t read your mind, and right now he has no reason to even consider that you might be coming with honest intentions.

You could get seriously hurt, and it would only make things harder to patch up in the future. If Rev or Gremlin was there with you, they’d at least be able to prepare him a bit so that maybe he wouldn’t get walloped by sudden painful memories resurfacing. They could explain that you’re not what he would expect you to be like, that you’re fun and rambunctious and have no ulterior motives. But that will take time, as so far the king doesn’t even know about Rev, and probably doesn’t have the most solid trust with Gremlin yet either. And without trust, it’s hard to believe them and feel safe in regards to someone he would otherwise think is out to get him. And seeing you first would complicate things for the others if he found out you were with them. Gremlin tried to give everyone nightmares. Magolor, he betrayed Dedede and others in the past and attacked them in pursuit of power. He doesn’t even know Rev and therefore has no reason to trust him. Finding out that you were being harbored by an ex-megalomaniac, ex-planetary threat, and some stranger from the mirror world would damage his trust with everyone.

The same wouldn’t be said if the introduction was different. If you wait, you could be seen as a reformed Dark Matter being given a chance by an enemy-turned-friend, a reasonable guy who had done bad things just to survive and not out of malice, and that guy’s equally cool counterpart, he’d be much more inclined to accept you. This would accomplish everything you hope to in a way that’s better for everyone. It just requires patience to get to that point, and I know how painful having patience can be. But it will be more than worth it. Please, just go back home. Don’t make everyone worry in trying to handle everything yourself. Friends and family, they’re the ones who matter, not the people who look down on you, and they’re the ones who will be there to support you. But they can’t support you in this endeavor when you’re trying to do it without them.

Reverie is trying his best, he cares about you so much— more than what words can describe, even— and the reason he hasn’t told you everything is because he doesn’t want to cause you more pain than he already thinks he has. Telling you everything would have been like giving you the heavy burden of knowing many people hate you without even knowing you. By not elaborating he was trying to protect you from the pain of that reality. He isn’t ignoring your struggles, or delaying fixing things on purpose, or not trying at all; it’s just that this is a situation that isn’t under his control, or any one person’s control even. It takes time and establishment of better relationships and stronger trust to go about something like this. And to put it bluntly, what you’re seemingly about to do will almost certainly jeopardize what progress has been made by everyone who’s working towards the goal of achieving peace and understanding.

Is that something you’re willing to risk for yourself and your loved ones?

Were she not near the king's window, Beep would be much louder in her initial response. She was beyond tired of this. "I know all of that already, at least… a lot of it. And that’s what I’m trying to fix!!! I don’t want people to look at me like that! Or my family!" The Matter whisper-yelled, fists clenched. It was infuriating that even the anons were getting on her back about this.

Still, she couldn't exactly sneak in while they were still talking to her. There wasn't really any other choice than to listen, little as she wanted to. Angry as she was, pointing out how Dedede would react stung. "Yeah, he’s gonna be scared of me, but what else am I supposed to do? Dad's scared to even look at this place and Gremlin… he had to deal with me ruining everything in October." Beep lamented, some self doubt slipping in. "Maybe I should knock…"

The warning, yet again, that she could 'be seriously hurt' soured her expression again. "Shut up, I get it." Beep growled, glancing away. "…but I’m trying not to mess it up. How’s he supposed to trust me if we never talk? If Gremlin or Rev never move for it? Dad won’t even tell me why he’s so freaked out by Dedede, he keeps the memories away from me…"

The mention of Wiz's mistake, laid out in more detail and less delicately, made her stiffen. "…no he wouldn’t." Beep mumbled, despite knowing there was at least some truth to it. The drive that had sent her back to the castle felt like it was slowly draining from her the longer the anon spoke. "But, none of them are bad people! They’ve only been…good…" She insisted, nonetheless.

As she listened, it became harder to hold on to her rage. "…but they don’t have to do anything. They all love me, yeah, but I need to work so much harder to live in the world with the rest of them. They shouldn’t have to… s-suffer because I-I’m different." Beep paused, taking a moment to keep the tremble out of her voice. "Rev doesn’t deserve that, Orbee doesn’t deserve that. I just, want to make things right." She finally met their gaze again. "But, you make it sound like I’m wrong… guess I’m good at that, huh." She muttered, sounding resigned.

Beep no longer seemed angry at all, now feeling a dawning sense of guilt for her actions. "But I, know people won’t like me. That’s why I’m doing this, to fix it… I know Rev can be dumb but… Does he not, trust me to know stuff?" She asked, not expecting an answer, before falling silent. Was she really doing the right thing coming out here? The Matter hovered under the window, having many more questions to answer for herself now.

"I know he loves me, he makes me sick all the time. I spend more time outside now because of it…" Beep sighed, looking off into the distance, half-expecting to see him coming. "I just want to make his life a little easier…"

[randomshyperson]

Love is Outside the Screen - Part III - Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Summary:  The one where Reader plays Vision in the MCU and she falls in love with her co-worker Elizabeth Olsen.

Warnings: (+18), smut, sexual themes, strap on use, teasing, fingering, sexual suggestions, explicit language, explicit, obscenity, a bit of praise kink, dom/sub dynamics, bottom reader mostly, switch dynamics, power dynamic changes, slight possessive sex, brief angst, alcohol mentions, arguing, jealously, fluffy.

Words: 7.935 K

A/N> Instead of writing my series, I'm continuing works that were finished already. This is basically porn honestly haha No, but jokes aside, we have fluffy moments with a lot of smut. Good reading everyone!

Part One | Part Two | All Works Masterlist || AO3

//-//-/////-///-//

Love is Outside the Screen - Part III

Northern Ireland, two years ago.

You slipped under the long wooden table as the script indicated.

Your character was supposed to give a slight nod, and then gasp because of the torso injury, and you followed the script perfectly.

When the director yells cut, you stand up, trying not to bump into the makeover they did on your clothes.

"That was great, guys!" Shouted Alex Graves in the direction of the cast scattered around the medieval set. "Let's call it a day."

You were exhausted.

The Game of Thrones footage was absolutely grueling, and time-consuming, although it allowed you to learn something new with almost every scene.

Walking back toward the dressing room to clean up your makeup, you smiled shyly at the girls in the salon who congratulated you on the day's performance while helping you to remove your costume.

While they were going through your hair, you decided to check your cell phone.

There were two missed calls from Lizzie, and you felt your heart swell with guilt immediately.

She had also sent you messages asking if everything was okay, or if you were busy, and saying that she missed you, and you wish you had answered them all, but your routine had been completely absurd.

You felt your chest ache with longing every time you thought of your girlfriend.

When you signed the contract, you knew the conditions, and so did Lizzie. But nothing prepared you for the real thing.

Almost three months without a decent conversation, not even video calls, and the lack of her in your life was making you frustrated and irritated all the time. You were sinking into the screenplay and the recordings, because you simply hated not having Lizzie in your day-to-day life.

"Thank you girls." You said as soon as you noticed the makeup completely removed from your abdomen.

The change in the script killed your character sooner than expected, and you should go home early, even though it was going to take two or three months, it was much less than originally planned.

Grumbling softly, you went back to the dressing room, deciding to call Lizzie now that you would have a little time alone.

She doesn't answer until the second-to-last ring.

"Yes?" Her husky voice signals that she was asleep, but all you can feel is your body shaking at the sound.

"It's me, baby." You reply tenderly as you sit back in the armchair, pressing the cell phone to your ear as if you wish you could reach into the device and touch your girl.

"Oh, hey." She comments sleepily, and you wonder if she has closed her eyes again, or even opened them. "It's late."

"I know, I'm sorry." You say leaning back in the armchair. "I wanted to check that everything was okay because I couldn't answer you earlier."

"Don't worry, darling." She says softly, almost sleepily. "I just missed you."

"Me too, my love." You assure her, feeling your chest tighten slightly. My god, you just want to see her, hold her, touch her. "Lizzie, darling, are you asleep?"

"Yes." She whispers, making you smile.

"I love you baby." You say. "Call me when you wake up, I will interrupt as many scenes as it takes to talk to you."

"Behave yourself in the studio, love." She mumbles sleepily, and you laugh lightly. It was the same warning she gave on your last day in California, on the way out of the airport. "I love you. And I miss you."

You cursed the entire movie company at once when you could perceive the upset in Lizzie's tone, even in her sleepy state. You repeated that you loved her one more time before hanging up the phone.

As you put your cell phone away to grab your keys and head back to the hotel, you wondered if a breach of contract was really so bad.

//-//

Present, California.

You felt Lizzie's arms wrap around you as soon as you made mention of getting out of bed. You smiled, turning your body to look at her.

Her sleeping figure with her eyes closed, her hair slightly tousled made your heart warm with affection.

You loved her so much.

Raising your hand to her face, you stroked her cheek gently with your thumb, and watched the woman sigh softly, and even in her sleepy state, lean into your touch.

"Lizzie." You called softly, trying to wake her up. And did so again until she mumbled softly, leaning her face against the pillow. You let your hand wander to her hair, enjoying the softness as you stroked her scalp with your fingers. "We need to wake up baby."

Lizzie just mumbled again against the pillow cotton, making you smile at the cuteness of that scene.

You moved closer only to deposit short kisses across her face, and only stopped when she let out a husky giggle.

"Good morning, love." You whispered against her ear, and were about to pull away, but she tightened her arms around your waist, keeping you almost on top of her, making you smile.

"Good morning." She sighed back against the skin of your neck, and you blushed slightly when you felt her inhale your perfume and then tighten her fingers around your waist. "Fuck, I love you."

You laughed softly at her sudden, hoarse confession, but let your arms slip around her shoulders, burying your body against Lizzie's. The tenderness was wonderful, and she moved one hand up to caress your back while the other remained on your hip, her thumb moving across the skin beneath your blouse.

You tilt your face away just to look at her, and already you find her with her eyes wide open, a shy smile on her lips.

"I love you too, babe, but we need to get up." You tell her, and you almost get the impression that she's not even listening, because all she does is look at your face with adoration.

You bite back a smile as you feel her legs move beneath you, her bare foot caressing your ankle before she spins you around quickly and stands over you, the sudden movement making you sigh and tighten your arms intertwined around her neck.

"Lizzie!" You exclaim humorously, but all you get is a low murmur as she sinks her body against yours and buries her face in your neck.

"How much time do we have?" She asks against your skin, her lips dangling on that sensitive part of your collarbone and sending a shiver up the length of your spine.

"Enough." You reply already affected by her touch, closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation.

Lizzie smiles against your neck, beginning to deposit chaste kisses against your skin, making you sigh softly.

It didn't matter how many times you had been together or for how long, your body reacted to her in the same way. You only hoped that you wouldn't be late for your appointment with the Marvel directors, but when Lizzie slipped her hand up into your pajamas, you didn't care about that anymore.

//-//-//

London, 1 year and 9 months ago.

It's your third time on "The Graham Norton Show."

You finished taping Game of Thrones the day before, and this was your last appointment before returning to California. To Lizzie.

Part of the cast is sitting next to you, and you are glad for that because you are distracted this evening and can use the time they answer questions to think about your girlfriend. And you miss her for sure.

Graham, the host, asked questions about the final season, and about day to day life on set, and after Kit Harington and Emilia Clarke commented on everything being amazing, and not telling anything about the plot since they weren't allowed to, you were slightly surprised that the subject shift went directly to the romance rumors between the cast.

"I hear that some of you have been becoming close friends outside the set." Graham begins with a chuckle, and you and the cast share a chorus of dissatisfaction that makes the audience laugh. "Which is normal in a long series of course. But we wanted to bring that in because we love gossip."

"Since I'm married, can I have a drink in the dressing room?" Kit jokes, drawing laughter from everyone.

"You're supposed to help us with the arguments". Graham replies humorously. He leans back in his chair slightly to point to the monitor behind him. "We have some behind-the-scenes photos here. And Miss Clarke looks very comfortable."

The audience laughed at the comment, and you tried to cover it up with an awkward laugh. It was a picture of Emilia Clarke, your colleague who plays Daenerys Targaryen, on your lap. But the moment was badly misinterpreted. The photo was taken right after one of the prom rehearsal scenes, and Emilia had gotten one of the coordinations wrong, and you laughed when she fell on you.

Of course, this kind of insinuation was happening because to the media, you two were two single women. And you were used to this kind of questioning, but still, it was always uncomfortable.

"We were dancing, Graham." Emilia argues humorously. "It's not what it looks like."

The audience lets out a chorus of disappointment, and you and Emilia giggle awkwardly.

"Was that the mating dance, ladies?" Graham teases and you want to dig a hole in the ground, but all you do is keep up with everyone's laughter. "Despite all the jokes, I think Marvel's couple is going to be threatened."

The comment makes your heart race, but the audience is very approving, applauding heartily.

At least with this you can talk about Elizabeth.

"Is tonight the night you are going to take over America's dream relationship or can we just keep saying that you and Emilia are together, since there is not the slightest chance that someone that attractive is single." Graham tells you with humor making the audience and cast laugh. You try to keep up, not wanting to seem rude. You wish you could tell him that there is nothing wrong with being single, but you don't think you want to create an awkwardness so you just settle back in your seat as you joke:

"Unfortunately I will deny it again, Graham" You reply. "And I'm not dating Emilia either, I assure you."

You spend the rest of the evening dodging the comments, and are exhausted by the time the interview is over.

"Hey, are you going back to the hotel already?" Kit asks you just as you walk back to the dressing rooms, and you deny it with your head.

"No chance, I'm leaving." You reply. "I'm going straight to the airport, I have a flight in two hours. What about you, Harington? Aren't you going home to see your wife?"

"I didn't know we were talking about wives." He jokes making you blush and look away. Kit didn't know about Lizzie, but he knew you had someone. "Of course I want to come home, but I still have some appointments here. And Rose is in Spain."

"That sucks, man." You comment and he murmurs in agreement, shrugging.

"Yeah, but longing sure makes the sex better." He retorts with amusement and you grimace before laughing.

"You're unbelievable." You joke before waving yourself off in farewell, turning in the direction of your dressing room.

As soon as you enter, you take your cell phone out of your pocket and try to call Lizzie, but it goes to voicemail. You leave a message saying that you can't wait to see her and get your things ready to leave.

After saying goodbye to the cast again, and taking a taxi to the airport, you receive a message, but it is not from Lizzie.

*Sara evil agent* sent you an attachment.

You frown at the matter. "Off-screen romance? Would GOT star Emilia Clarke be dating queer Marvel protégé?"

You call Sara the same minute.

"I literally said I wasn't dating her!" You complain as soon as she answers and hear Sara laugh on the other end.

"Oh, honey, I told you, the media loves a little gossip." She says. "And you need to stop setting up fake girlfriends so quickly, I can barely keep up."

You grumble in irritation and your agent lets out a giggle.

"Don't be so grumpy, it's just a rumor and the last time I checked you were a single woman so I don't see a problem." She says and you bite the inside of your cheek. Since your lack of excitement about GOT, Sara suspects something. Neither of you says anything, but you know she's not an idiot and figures you have a girlfriend. "Are you going back to LA already?"

"Yes, I'm catching my flight in an hour."

"I hope you're ready to record, Lady Vision." She jokes. "Your scene schedule is getting closer."

"I plan to rest this week." You warn, slightly distracted. "Game of Thrones really was something different."

"I just hope people like the ending."

You giggle and Sara wants to know why, but you don't give her any spoilers. After asking if everything was okay, and assuring her that you had eaten something before the interview, you hang up.

Lizzie didn't text you back and you fell asleep on the plane.

//-//-//-//-//

California, three years and eleven months ago.

Your heart was beating so fast that you could hear it in your ears.

But Lizzie's hand in yours was doing a good job of calming you down.

Maybe it was just because you had waited, or maybe it was because you were so much in love, but you don't remember feeling so nervous about the idea of having sex with someone. Not since your first time.

And well, now with Lizzie, it was actually only the first time you two were going to sleep together. You didn't have to be nervous, but you were.

Liz opened the bedroom door as soon as you two reached the room, and dragged you inside with her. You closed the wood as you entered.

The tension was palpable in the air, and you wondered if you stayed still long enough, she might hear your heartbeat.

You looked at her, your eyes locked on each other, and a shy smile on your lips as you approached, stopping inches from her body.

Lizzie holds her breath.

"Are you nervous?" You ask in a husky voice, raising your free hand to go around the length of her arm with your finger, admiring the way her skin shivers at your touch.

She just shakes her head and you smile, resting your hand on her cheek.

"It's just me." You comment as you lean your forehead against hers, and you both close your eyes in anticipation. "We can stop if you're not sure..."

"I'm sure." She interrupts half breathlessly, her hand tightening its grip before letting go of yours, so that she brings both hands to the sides of your neck. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." You assure before breaking the distance, bringing your mouths together in a firm kiss that draws a sigh from both of you as your hands move up to Lizzie's waist.

It doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen, your tongues fighting together and the sensation making your head spin and your body heat up.

Lizzie gasped against your mouth before parting for breath, and you used the opportunity to let your fingers run down to the hem of her shirt as you pulled it up. In motion the piece was off, and she copied the same to remove your blouse.

You bit your lip as you looked at the sight of Lizzie's exposed torso in front of you, her nipples hardening in the air making you feel the tightness beneath your stomach increase.

You lunged forward, grabbing her left breast with your mouth, and Lizzie let out a loud noise in her throat, throwing her head back as your tongue skirted her left nipple.

She was so hot and smelled so good, and the sounds she was making were driving you insane.

You moved your hands up to her breasts as soon as you brought your mouths together again, your tongue circling hers as you played with her hardened nipples, and it wasn't long before Lizzie began to whimper, closing her legs and thrusting her hips towards yours for more friction.

You smiled against her lips, you would give her exactly what she needed.

//-//

California, one year and nine months ago.

Leaving your keys on the counter, you were surprised by the silence as you entered.

It wasn't that you wanted Lizzie to stay late to wait for you, except that it was exactly what you wanted.

You left your bag on the living room floor and called her name twice before assuming she was asleep.

Sighing slightly, you went up the stairs to your room, but it was empty. All the other rooms were empty, which made you frown.

Okay, you didn't expect Elizabeth not to be home just the day you were returning, after months of not seeing each other.

But you didn't have much time to think about what might have happened, because a clearly drunk Lizzie stumbled into the house, fighting against the lock and her own balance just as you were coming down the stairs.

"You're drunk?" You ask in a voice in a mixed tone of disbelief and concern upon seeing her, and Lizzie is startled for a moment before giggling.

"Look who's here, California!" She announced to the room with irony and with open arms, stumbling inside. "Hollywood's most eligible bachelorette, watch out ladies and gentlemen."

You frowned at the little scene, Lizzie walked with difficulty to the kitchen as you finished going down the steps, she murmured quietly and you with your arms crossed, trying to understand exactly what was going on.

"What happened to you?" you ask as you follow her across the room, Lizzie takes off her shoes with difficulty, almost falling to the floor at least twice. When you make mention of helping her, she holds up her hand for you not to, and you are starting to get worried.

"I went to have fun." She replies with a humorless laugh. "I can have fun."

"Of course you can." You retorted with a raised eyebrow, watching Lizzie take a deep breath and close her eyes as she leaned her back on the countertop, probably getting a headache from the way she buried her face in both hands for a moment. "Who did you go with?"

"I don't know, Mom." She sneered wryly, and you clenched your jaw. Lizzie laughed at your expression, and pouted. "Oh, did I upset you? Sorry, darling, I'll try to be a good girl for you."

You shook your head slightly.

"Babe, what is happ..."

"Don't call me that." She cuts off quickly and you look at her in surprise. Lizzie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and when she looks at you again, she has thick tears in her eyes and you feel your heart soar. "I saw the pictures on television, Y/N. I saw the pictures, I saw your interview, I saw the videos on instagram. And I guess I understand, because she's beautiful and we haven't seen each other in months but I thought you loved me..."

"wow, what are you talking about?" You interrupt, confused and frightened, and Lizzie looks like a complete mess. She is crying and you reach up to touch her face, and try to calm her down. "Babe, breathe, I don't understand."

She whimpers softly, and you wonder how much booze she really has consumed.

"You are going out with that woman and I love you and everything is horrible." She declares in a whiny voice and you look at her with a frown.

"Lizzie, what..."

But she pushes you and walks off toward the bedroom, and you try to keep her from falling over drinking at least three times until she can get up the stairs properly.

"Lizzie, wait, talk to me." You beg but she keeps walking and you enter the bedroom a moment after her, watching her walk to the closet and start throwing all her clothes out while mumbling about cheating.

You take a deep breath with your hands on your waist, letting out a humorless laugh. It was an absurd scene to say the least.

"Elizabeth Olsen, stop this immediately!" You command as soon as she steps out of the closet, and she widens her eyes slightly as she shifts the weight of her feet before veering to the floor. You sigh as you walk toward her. "Babe, look at me."

"No."

"Lizzie."

Reluctantly, she does so. You soften your expression, feeling your heart soar at the image of her face, longing invading your whole heart.

"God, I missed you." You confess half breathlessly and Lizzie looks on the verge of tears. "Darling, where did all this come from? I'm not seeing any other girl."

"I saw the pictures..."

"Lizzie." You interrupt seriously, shaking your head slightly as your hands land on her shoulders. "I have no one but you. I would never cheat on you, I don't know where that came from. I wish you hadn't drunk so much so we could have a serious talk."

Lizzie gives a mischievous little smile, her gaze half lost because of the alcohol.

"I'm not drunk." She mumbles clearly intoxicated, making you chuckle slightly.

"Of course not." You said as you pushed the loose strands of her hair behind her ears. "You made a mess in the bedroom, babe. Why don't you try to sleep while I clean up?"

Lizzie sighed, clearly tired but shaking her head in denial

"I don't want to sleep." She said as she brought her body closer to you, her hands squeezing your shirt. "I want you to fuck me."

You bit back a smile, looking at Lizzie with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah?"

She murmured in agreement, her fingers trying to open the buttons of your shirt, but she was clearly in no condition to do so.

"I'd like that too, but you're drunk." You say as you move your hands to hold hers, smiling at the grumble of frustration she lets out. "Go lie down, I'll get some water."

"But..."

"Bed, Lizzie." You ordered again as you intertwined your hands to lead her to lie down.

She was reluctant a few times but eventually agreed and lay her down on the mattress, placing the comforter on top.

When you made mention of getting up, she held your hand.

"Don't go." She asked softly with her eyes almost closed. You smiled.

"Aren't you thirsty?"

Lizzie denied and pulled your hand, you moved closer to lie beside her and she wasted no time in entwining her body in yours.

You let your fingers run through her hair and she sighed lightly, not taking long to fall asleep. You waited a few more minutes before moving, getting out of bed as gently as possible so as not to wake her.

After collecting the clothes Lizzie had thrown across the room and putting them away in the closet, as well as putting the party clothes she was wearing in the wash, you went back downstairs, looking for your bag to take to your room.

Your cell phone vibrated as you walked up the stairs.

It was a message from Scarlet, and you laughed lightly as you read its content.

“I heard you're coming home today, right? Lizzie was really upset about the rumors that you were dating, and asked me to take her out for a drink. I dropped her off at home, but she was pretty shaky. I didn't know you two had a thing, can we talk about it over coffee tomorrow?”

You were relieved that Scarlett was the person accompanying Lizzie, but now she knew you two had something. You were tired of it honestly. The secret. All you wanted was for everyone to know how much you loved Lizzie. And judging from recent events, that was a problem for her too. Or at least it was enough for her to drink more than she should.

But you would have to wait until Lizzie woke up to have this conversation, so you went back to your room, and after putting away the clothes from your bag, you took a shower and put on your pajamas, wasting no time in joining Lizzie in bed again.

//-//-//

Caribbean, one year and six months ago.

Following the music, you continued to dance slowly, your hand around Lizzie's waist while the other was entwined in the air with hers.

The luxury hotel where you were staying that week was hosting a Hawaiian themed evening, and well, after spending the day in the pool area, you decided to dance a little.

In that moment, with Lizzie in your arms, you were at peace completely. Moments like these, like waking up with her in your bed, or cooking together, or rehearsing your lines while curled up on the couch under the blanket were more than enough to make you sure that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Lizzie.

You smiled before pulling your body away slightly, just to look at her. And she looked back at you with the same adoration, her cheeks flushing slightly.

You spun her into your arms then, making her laugh as you pulled her back, your hands resting on her neck as your hips swayed to the rhythm of the ukulele of the band playing on the stage.

There were a few other couples around, but you could hardly notice anyone but Lizzie.

You continued dancing, and you rested your forehead on hers, closing your eyes and breathing in her perfume. Lizzie smiled, stealing a quick kiss before resting her chin on your shoulder, following the rhythm of the dance.

When the show ends, you follow the crowd in the clapping for a moment before Lizzie entwines your hands and pulls you toward the bar.

"That was fun." She comments with cheeks flushed from the dance, her smile soft as you stand near each other, your hands intertwined as you reach for the menu.

"Dancing with you always is." You retorted charmingly, releasing her hand only to fit it against your waist, drawing a chuckle from Lizzie.

You ended up sharing some drinks and snacks, and you were starting to feel higher with each sip.

Lizzie was in the middle of a joke when you interrupted her.

"Marry me?"

She blinked in surprise, a confused chuckle escaping her lips.

"What?"

Maybe it was the drinking. Probably not, because with the emerald eyes looking so intently, you suddenly felt very sober. Your heart raced too, but you were never more sure of anything than you were now.

"Marry me." You repeat with a confident smile. Lizzie blushes with wide eyes.

"You... Are you serious?" She asks in surprise, and you let out a sigh, moving closer to take her hands and put them down on your racing heart.

"I love you." You tell her with nothing but sincerity. "I want to spend my life with you. I was planning something bigger, perhaps, at your parents' summer house. I would get down on one knee in front of your family and hand over the ring I've been carrying for three months." You confess and watch her look at you in shock. "I've been waiting for the right moment, Lizzie. But I've just realized that every second with you is the right moment. I want you to be my wife. Do you want me to be yours?"

It took a second for her to react, her expression changing from shock to pure happiness, the tears appearing in her eyes and the smile so big it made her eyes small.

"Yes, yes, of course." She replied between one shy laugh and another, moving forward to kiss you over and over again.

You couldn't stop smiling as you kissed her, and you giggled against each other's mouths, pulling apart to embrace each other.

It didn't take long for the people around the bar to notice and start clapping, but you didn't care.

All you were seeing was your future wife.

//-//-//-//

California, 1 year and 9 months ago.

You finished putting the coffee jug on the tray, the last missing item, before carrying it to your room, taking careful steps not to trip over anything on the way.

Lizzie was already awake, but still in bed. The glass of water in her hands and the missing pill on her bedside table indicated that she was already treating her hangover.

"Good morning, darling." You greeted as you entered, walking over to the bed to leave the platter on top of the sheet next to Lizzie.

"You're home." She commented in a mixture of surprise and embarrassment, you just made a noise with your mouth as she sighed, running her hand over her face, probably because of her headache. "When did you get home?"

"Last night." You respond by watching her. "Just before you."

"Sorry." She says moving closer. You gently pull away from her attempt to kiss her lips, and Lizzie frowns. "What?"

"I was worried." You state seriously. Lizzie lets out a sigh, leaning her back against the bed completely. "I thought you were going to pick me up at the airport, but you didn't call. And then I find the house empty. Until you arrived, completely drunk at dawn."

Lizzie crossed her arms, looking away. It was your turn to sigh.

"What's happening, Elizabeth?"

"It 's nothing."

"Elizabeth."

"Stop it." She asks impatiently, turning her face to you again. "Don't call me that."

You just frown in confusion. "It's your name."

"No." She exclaims annoyedly, closing her eyes for a moment. "You only call me Elizabeth when you're angry. And you can't be angry at me because I have the right to go out!"

You watch her stand up, as if running away from the conversation, and you sigh impatiently, massaging your temple with your finger. Lizzie begins to remove her dress, clearly intent on going to take a shower.

"I never said you had no right to go out, Elizabeth." You retort ignoring the annoyed grunt she lets out at you continuing to call her by her full name. "I just think I have the right to ask why after we agreed on something, you changed plans at the last minute and decided to disappear."

"It's funny that you want to demand something from me when you've spent the last few months without giving me any satisfaction of where or who you were with!" She accuses angrily and you grimace in indignation.

"Oh, so it's about my work?" You retort angrily. "The last time I checked we had decided that I was going to record and come home. You said you were fine with that!"

Lizzie gave a humorless laugh, her dress falling to her feet as she worked to remove her bra.

"Well, you know what, I wasn't!" She shouts angrily, throwing the bra angrily into the closet. You need to remember that you are angry with her as you have the vision of her breasts exposed in front of you while she is yelling at you. "I didn't agree to the endless get-togethers with all those sluts around you! And I sure didn't agree with your flushed face on television flirting with Emilia Clarke in front of the whole country!"

You stared at Lizzie in shock, but she just grunted in irritation before turning to go to the bathroom.

"No, I think it's so funny you bring that up, you know, Elizabeth." You spoke aloud as you stood up to follow her. "Because when I said Aubrey Plaza was flirting with you, you told me it was just business. But suddenly, Emilia is something that bothers you!"

"God, this is so different from Aubrey!" she retorts in irritation, finally naked, before stepping into the shower. You were beginning to find it hard to remember why you were fighting now that you had the view of her wet silhouette in the shower stall, as she raised her voice to be heard beyond the sound of the water. "We were supposed to be flirting in the interviews, it was all for the movie. You were just falling all over Emilia for no reason. All those smiles and giggles." She declares angrily, making you bite back a smile. Lizzie naked, angry and jealous was hot as hell.

"I really can't believe we are having this conversation." You complain as you unbutton your pajama shirt. "The most absurd part of it all is you thinking I would have anything with anyone else."

"You say these things but don't live up to them with your actions." She retorts, annoyed. "I wouldn't think anything of it if you didn't flirt with other people!"

"I didn't flirt with anyone!" You return defensively, your blouse finally coming off. Lizzie's annoyed expression almost falters, but she keeps her gaze above your breasts as you take off your pants. "And honestly, none of this would be happening if everyone knew we were dating!"

Lizzie frowns, her anger finally dissipating with your sentence. You step into the shower stall with her, and she looks at you dubiously.

"You...you want to go public?" She asks, studying you as the water falls on her back. You swallow dryly, keeping yourself in front of her.

"Only if you want to."

Lizzie holds out her hand for you to take, and when you do, she pulls you gently until your breasts are almost touching.

"Do you think we're ready for that?" She whispers as your foreheads lean against each other. You sigh as you rest your hands on her waist.

"With you, I'm ready for anything, Lizzie."

She sighs against your lips, her hands moving up to your neck.

"I can't think about that with you naked in front of me." She mumbles before moving forward against his lips.

Kissing shouldn't feel this good.

You slide your tongue over hers a moment later, and you both sigh in need, feeling the effects of so much time apart. Your hands move down to her ass, squeezing the flesh and forcing her against you, and the direct contact of exposed skin makes Lizzie whimper.

You press her against the glass of the shower stall, feeling the shower water against your back as you hold your mouths together in a passionate, hungry kiss.

When air was needed, you ran your kisses down your girlfriend's exposed collarbone, enjoying the way she sighed in anticipation, her hand moving up to the back of your neck to encourage you.

"God, I missed you." You sighed before sucking on the sensitive spot on her collarbone, making Lizzie whimper as she dug her nails into your shoulder.

She pulled your face back to hers, kissing you urgently, and you pressed your body against hers, your hands moving down to her thighs and up so that she entwined her legs around your waist.

The contact of your exposed intimates together made you both gasp in the kiss, but you slid your tongue against hers again, savoring her taste as your hands moved up to her breasts, squeezing and cupping them with a full palm, your fingers playing with her hardened nipples and making Lizzie sigh wetly.

"What is it baby?" you teased when she was unable to keep up the pace of the kiss, throwing her head back as she felt your hands pressing her breasts hard, and Lizzie grunted as she bit her lips to keep from moaning, looking up at you with dark eyes, clearly struggling to keep her expression impassive. You smiled, pressing your hips forward and watching her close her eyes tightly, unable to contain a low moan that escaped her throat. "I want to hear you, baby."

"I'm still mad at you." She declares in an affected voice, and you murmur in understanding, lowering your face to her collarbone, and licking and kissing the skin, making her shiver.

"Is this angry sex, then?" You sneer as you move your hips forward again, the sensation bringing a rising wave of pleasure to both of you. "It doesn't seem like it."

Lizzie sighs impatiently, and puts her legs on the floor, pushing you away by your shoulder.

You are so stunned by the sudden break in contact that you barely have time to absorb her turning off the shower before she pulls you by the hand out of the stall.

You were about to ask what she was going to do, but she pushed you onto the bed, and disappeared into the closet.

"Lizzie?" You called out uncertainty, preparing your apology speech for what exactly you couldn't say. But she walked out next, and the sight made your mouth go dry. "Damn."

Elizabeth was wearing a strap-on, the rubber penis already fitted in the front and ready for use. And from the determined expression on her face, she was more than willing to prove to you that she was pissed.

"Fuck me." You breathed aroused by the view, and Lizzie gave a wry chuckle as she approached the bed.

"Oh, I will." It was her only warning before she broke the distance, kissing you fervently, her tongue exploring your mouth and pulling the air from your lungs, making you see stars.

You let out a low moan, moving your hands up to her waist to pull her to you, but Lizzie pushed your hands away, breaking the kiss and moving one hand up to your neck, squeezing lightly as she made you look at her.

"Knees, ass up." She commanded in a husky voice, her gaze glittering with lust, you bit your lips to keep from moaning again, feeling your pussy pulsate with desire as you obeyed, turning on the bed quickly as Lizzie positioned herself behind you. "I'll teach you not to flirt with other girls."

"I was n-fuck." Your speech turned into an horsy whimper as she suddenly penetrated you with the dildo, you were so wet that she had no problem at all, the toy slipping into your folds with ease, filling you completely. Lizzie chuckled breathlessly, her hands steadying your hips.

"God, you're so hot." She murmured, moving slowly inside you, the action making you clench your fists in the sheets and arch your back, your pussy clenching against the dildo.

"Fuck, Lizzie."

She thrust again, this time hard, her hands squeezing your hips as she went deep inside, making you moan loudly.

Before establishing a rhythm, she leaned against you, her hand coming up to your hair and pulling you back as she brought her mouth to your ear.

"You are mine." She whispered before she thrust hard inside you, making you moan. "Do you understand?"

"Not quite yet, try harder." You teased breathlessly, the pleasure at having the dildo all the way inside you making you half dizzy. Lizzie grunted angrily, this time stroking even harder, making you see stars as you whimpered, your body beginning to tremble.

"Quit being a brat or I'm going to fucking stop." She warned against your ear, thrusting more slowly this time, and you moaned breathlessly, barely able to keep your eyes open.

Lizzie set a slow pace, but thrusting hard as you moaned and whimpered, every time the dildo entered you making you even wetter and aroused, to the point that you were unable to hold back the loud moans, and she giggled.

"Look at you, a horny, begging mess." She sneered against your ear. "You are mine, and only mine."

She whispered, her strokes deep inside you. "I want you to remember that when you flirt with other girls. How good I make you feel."

You whimpered, your pussy clenching against the dildo for more, Lizzie keeping the strokes torturously slow. Seeing your state, she laughed softly, pulling out of you completely.

Before you had time to complain, she turned you over on the bed, spreading your legs as she bent down, thrusting deep inside you. Your moan died against her lips as she kissed you hard, laying against you as she buried the dildo inside you.

You could feel Lizzie everywhere. Her breasts against you, her lips on yours, and it was too much. She thrust hard again, deep and fast as you had your legs around her waist, and her tongue on yours, and you began to tremble in spasms, pleasure spreading throughout your body.

Lizzie smiled against your lips as you lost the ability to respond to the kiss, moaning and whimpering at the closeness of your climax. Her mouth moved down to your neck as she kept up the pace of the thrusts inside you, and your hands tightened around her waist, pulling on her hips for more friction.

It wasn't long before you fell over the edge, the tightness under your belly exploding, the pleasure spreading to the tips of your feet as you moaned against Lizzie's ear, crumbling under her.

As you tried to normalize your breathing after such an intense orgasm, she straightened to look at you, her eyes had adoration in them.

"You did so good." She praised against your lips. "Did you learn your lesson?"

"I did." You replied in a husky voice, taking a deep breath to control the effects of climax.

In one swift motion, you spun you two around on the bed, sighing as you felt the toy move inside you.

"Now you will learn to honor your appointments, Miss Olsen." You warned as your hands moved down to the latches of the strap, removing it as Lizzie bit her lips, looking at you with a mischievous gaze.

You shifted to remove the strap and toss the toy on the floor, returning to sit on Lizzie's lap, your mouth returning to hers immediately.

When she began to move beneath you, you smiled against her lips, pulling away as you rested your forehead against hers and let your fingers play with her wet entrance.

"Use your mouth." She asked breathlessly, her nails digging into your arm.

"My baby wants my mouth?" You teased, moving forward to lick her lips and pulling away with a short laugh when she moaned as she chased your mouth unsuccessfully. You circled her clitoris with your fingers, and Lizzie gasped. "The next time you want to get drunk, at least text me, my love." You warned as you penetrated her with two fingers at once, feeling her hot and slippery, while Lizzie moaned loudly against your mouth. "Do you understand?"

You removed your fingers, playing with her entrance until she nodded frantically, pushing her hips toward your hand. But you laughed lightly, pulling your hand away completely, and leaving her with a confused expression.

"I thought you wanted my mouth." You scoff, already ducking, as Lizzie looks at you expectantly.

"God, you always fuck me so good." Lizzie comments as you kiss her thighs, moving down. You smile against her skin, finally reaching her pussy.

You stare at her before moving forward, your tongue against her clitoris as she sighs with need.

"Don't torture me." She begs breathlessly, her wrists locked on the bed, you smile, lingeringly licking her, and she closes her eyes tightly.

"I won't, my love." You assure her before returning your mouth to her pussy, kissing her entrance before you begin to suck and lick, devouring her with desire.

She moans loudly, letting out affected sighs with each movement of your tongue inside her, and you hold her thighs to keep her open for you as you eat her out.

It doesn't take long for Lizzie to reach her edge, already near the limit from fucking you, but it's still delicious to have her crumbling against your mouth like a weeping mess, her orgasm on your tongue as she screams your name.

You climb your body back up onto her, and kiss her tenderly, unlike anything so far.

Lizzie is trying to control her breathing from the climax, but sighs in satisfaction as she tastes herself on your tongue.

As silence falls over you, you sigh lightly, your hands caressing her face.

"Are we okay, Lizzie?" You ask as you settle down to lie across from each other. She leans into the touch of your hands, as her hands come up to your waist.

"I don't know." She confesses. "But I want us to be."

You smile, using your finger to take a strand of hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear.

"Do you think going public will make us better?"

"I don't want to love you in secret anymore." She says and you feel your heart soar. "Do you understand?"

You smile. "Yes, babe. I feel the same way."

She gives a relieved smile, her gaze passionate. You break the distance, and kiss her gently.

When you break the kiss a moment later, you look quickly at your bodies. "I think we should have this conversation with clothes on." You comment and Lizzie giggles.

"Later. Now I show how much I missed you in my bed." She says before bringing your lips together again.

You certainly wouldn't object to that.

//-//-//

Atlanta, three years ago.

You hesitated at the entrance to the restaurant.

Through the window you could see Lizzie, and all your cast mates, as it was the closing celebration of the WandaVision filming.

You swallowed hard, the object in your pocket suddenly becoming too heavy.

You startled slightly when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"I guess we're both late, huh?" Kathryn Hahn, your cast mate, remarked gently, putting her car keys away in her pocket clearly having arrived right with you.

You gave her a lopsided smile and she noticed your hesitation, assuming a worried expression.

"Everything okay?" She asked.

You shifted your gaze to the window again, watching Lizzie giggle shyly, her gaze shining slightly. She looked around too, searching, and you knew it was for you.

"Yeah, I just...I was just having a moment of doubt." You say still looking at Lizzie. Kathryn followed your gaze, and smiled, but didn't comment on it.

You sighed, reaching into your pocket and pulling out the object.

"Wow, are you going to...?" Kathryn asked in surprise but you gave a humorless laugh.

"No, I couldn't." You say swallowing dryly, and looking away from the velvet box. "I don't know if I'm ready."

"And when either of us are?" Kat returned, making you smile.

"How did you know you were going to say yes to your husband?" You asked next. Kathryn sighed thoughtfully.

"I didn't." She replied. "There's no way to know until you get asked. But what I did know was that I loved him. And that's what really matters."

You absorbed her words in silence, and then put the box back in your pocket.

"I think she loves me." You say. "That will be enough until I find the right moment."

Kat murmurs in understanding, and then pushes her shoulder against yours lightly.

"Just don't wait too long." She warns with a smile, nodding her head signaling for the two of you to enter the restaurant and join the rest of the team.

When you enter, any thoughts of Lizzie denying your marriage proposal are driven out by the image of her contented smile when she sees you arrive.

//-//-//-//

A/F/N> I'm not even gonna try to say this is the last time i'm continuing this work because at this point, I just know I don't believe my own words anymore haha. Tell me what you think people.

Tag> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife || @nervoustrack || @aquamarinescarlet || @cristin-rjd || @idamaemann || @fortunatelynerdylight

[fruggo]

Hello ! I saw the enemies fo lovers things and I wanna request if possible

“ rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago. “

With frank if you would and thank you

yessirrr i love frank sm it’s not ok. also umm i may have accidentally written friends to enemies to lovers or something idk. and though i wouldnt necessarily call you friends at the start, you werent really enemies yet???? idk🐸just ummm yeh i love frank

also help how do i not go overboard???? i feel like i made this way too long, please help and i am sorry

warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, frank being a bastard but then you’re like awwww he’s a cute bastard aaaaw

~~

Things were weird with Frank, and they always had been from the moment you stepped foot in the Entity’s realm. He always tunneled you relentlessly, and that made you think of him as a big asshole, but there were some strange details tacked onto the sentiment that greatly confused you, should you think about it for more than three seconds.

Sometimes, it seemed like he went easy on you in chases, like he put in no effort. He would chase you for a while, let you waste his time, and then leave without even getting a hit on you when he definitely had the ability to.

And you hated saying this, but when he handled you, it almost felt…gentle. Granted, he was a killer, and his job was to murder you, but your experiences with him did not quite line up with those of the other survivors.

They always described trials against Frank as “stepping on legos in the middle of the night” or something akin to that. You never felt like that, though—when he chased you, it felt fair. Almost as if he played nice with you. And more often than not, the killer would let you go when he caught you. The reason remained a mystery to you until quite a bit later.

This trial, Frank was in 100% bastard mode. You had begun to think of his trials as quite easy due to his seemingly calm nature around you, so you were rather caught off guard when he downed you in the first 30 seconds of the match and tossed you onto a hook, no gentleness whatsoever.

You wanted to yell at him and ask what the fuck was wrong with him until you realized this was his fucking job, and this is how he should have been treating you all along. Maybe you had just been imagining it all, but you could have sworn he used to leave you alone more than this. Something just felt different.

After you were unhooked, he went for you again. And again. And then you were dead, completely wiped out of the trial. Frank had demolished you with no remorse.

You knew it was silly to feel betrayed, but you really couldn’t help it. In such an insane and hellish place, anything that could be even remotely perceived as kindness seemed like so much more of a big deal than it truly was. So Frank’s supposed “gentleness” with you had felt somewhat like a friend doing you a selfless favor. Of course, it was not a selfless favor, and it was certainly nowhere near kindness, because he was still a killer chasing you with a knife, but your standards had really lowered in this place.

After that trial, you were back to hating Frank for tunneling and bullying you (like you probably should). You began to understand the survivors’ saying about the legos—and you hoped that Frank would step on some legos too, because he fucking sucked sometimes.

And for a while, that’s just how it was. You nearly forgot how he used to go easier on you, and how you used to do okay in his matches. Now every time you were pit against each other it just felt like you were being stuck with a bunch of pins; you never had any time to breathe or rest or do literally anything. He just went after you until you were gone, and there was next to nothing you could do about it.

Everything changed very suddenly during a trial at Ormond.

You were expecting the same old routine with this asshole—chase, blah blah blah, die. You hardly had energy to fight back anymore.

So when he arrived out of breath at the killer shack, somehow knowing you would be here, Frank was surprised to find you relaxing under the window with your arms loosely crossed, a disapproving scowl upon your countenance. It was enough to make him hesitate in his tracks.

You let out a deep breath, refusing to break eye contact with his mask; you kept up that menacing frown for as long as you could, trying to make him feel guilty (who knows if it was even possible for him to feel guilty? But it was worth a try).

“Just kill me,” you said, voice steady and seemingly unbothered. Underneath the surface, you were trembling, but you stood your ground. “That’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it? You’re going to chase me until I’m miserable and kill me off as soon as you can?”

Frank went still, not even fidgeting with his knife like he usually did; he was intrigued by your sudden confidence.

You went on. “I’m really sick and tired of you, you know that? I’m sick of you and your bullshit. Why can’t you treat me like everybody else? At first, you went easy on me. Now you just torture me with your stupid mind games, and frankly, I’m sick of playing! I’m done with you—I don’t care anymore! Just kill me, and I’ll get out of your way, okay asshole? Mori me if you want. I don’t give a shit.”

You put your hands up exasperatedly, fully expecting him to take the offer and just send you back to the campfire right then and there. But the man sighed, pocketed his knife, and sat down right next to you as if this were a normal thing for him to do.

You scooted a few inches away out of instinct. Frank noticed, but he chose not to say a word about it.

It was a long time before he said anything, and when he finally did, you wanted to punch him so bad.

“It’s complicated,” he mumbled. And that was all.

Oh, yeah? It was complicated? You scoffed, hanging your head with a bitter smile. “Oh, okay. Sure.”

Silence again.

Awkward, suffocating silence.

And then Frank got up and left. You were unbothered for the remainder of the trial, not even a scratch or bruise on your body.

~~

Sometimes you simply did things, and you didn’t know why. This thing that you just did was irrational, stupid, unplanned, unwise, and everything in-between, and you knew it was, but frequently you just had no impulse control. Perhaps it was the Entity’s influence, or maybe you had always been this way—you couldn’t really remember.

How did you get here again? Why were you laying on the ground? And why did your leg hurt so fucking much?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, you remember now.

Funnily enough, it seems as though the Entity, along with certain killers, did not like it when survivors tried to enter their side of the forest! But you did it anyways, and it appeared that you had suffered the consequences. It’s not like you had put much thought into it; where was the point in that when nothing mattered anymore and you were stuck in an endless cycle of death?

You remembered entering the killer’s woods, looking around, and doing…something. What was that something? You couldn’t be sure, but then you remembered somebody coming up to you and probably definitely hurting you. Yep, your leg definitely was in a lot of pain. You couldn’t even look at it. Did you pass out for a while? Maybe. How long were you out for?

You lay still there for a while, thinking. Man, it really hurt, and boy, were you miserable. Maybe more miserable than you’d ever felt here. The Entity normally healed wounds immediately, but perhaps you had just angered it so much you deserved to suffer.

Oh, dear! You seemed to be passing out at this time. Yes, that was almost certainly what was happening. Black spots danced across your eyes as your body began to feel distant and numb, but you didn’t feel very worried about it. In fact, you felt like making jokes right now, but you had nobody to make jokes to and you probably couldn’t even speak.

Just as you began to accept it, there was a strange thumping sensation vibrating through the ground growing closer…and closer…

Footsteps! That’s good!

Oh. Not if it’s a killer. That’s not good, probably.

But you had no way of protesting when you felt yourself being picked up, because those black spots in your eyes were dancing a lot faster now, perhaps something akin to an Irish jig, and you also couldn’t feel your limbs.

Then you were fast asleep again, dreaming of Irish dancers who were actually big fluffy cloud people wearing leprechaun clothes. Nobody but you would ever know this, and it was going to stay that way.

On the bright side, it made it a lot easier for your rescuer to carry you to safety like this.

~~

When you awoke once more, you were horrified to find yourself in the Ormond lodge of all places. You knew immediately what had happened and were determined to escape as soon as possible.

Your injured leg proved to be a huge problem, however, and you collapsed the second you attempted to find freedom. Trying again, you collapsed once more, and probably maimed yourself further in the process.

Hearing the commotion from the second floor, your least favorite member of The Legion descended down from the main stairs, refusing to look directly at you even as he scooped you up and plunked you (gently) back onto the couch, which was rather comfortable (not that you would ever tell him that).

So he was playing it cool, huh?

Okay. You could play it cool, too. You were cool. Smooth as butter.

No. You really couldn’t be cool in a situation like this, and plus, your mind was still a little woohoo since whatever accident had occurred. Suddenly you blurted out, “Frank, I hate your guts.”

And he had the audacity to laugh. He laughed at you! He did the man chuckle thing, as if what you were saying was funny. No! You were completely serious! You did hate his guts!

Perhaps your face showed how upset you were, because he started to apologize (still laughing).

“Maybe you should go back to sleep,” Frank said after calming down a bit.

No. You couldn’t go back to sleep. You did not want to experience dancing cloud people dressed as leprechauns ever again in your life, for the rest of eternity. Never again.

So you shook your head violently, refusing to give an explanation, which just provoked Frank to anger all of a sudden. If you went back to sleep, he could have some alone time while the rest of The Legion was gone. He kept pushing, and you kept resisting, and he pushed and you resisted, until finally he gave up and let you off with a warning. If you made him mad again, he was throwing you out in the snow.

Fine with me, you said. Okay, I’ll do it right now, he said. No balls, you said.

So then Frank casually went to scoop you up in his arms again, and you started to freak out and beat your hands against his chest until he put you back down. He was was awfully mindful of your hurt leg for someone who was about to throw you into the snow.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please don’t throw me out,” you fussed. You thought he wouldn’t actually do it. You didn’t know it, but you were right—he was just messing with you because it was funny seeing you scared.

After a bit more griping back and forth, Frank began to grow concerned about your leg. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic because things were so odd between the two of you; this was your first interaction since the brief encounter in the shack. But he swallowed his pride, because the wound seemed to be getting worse by the minute.

“Hey, do you want me to, uhh…get some supplies?” Frank asked awkwardly. When you didn’t understand, he continued, “Your leg? It looks like it hurts…I could fix it if you want.”

You barked out a laugh at his words, unbelieving of this shift in attitude. “Rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago,” you snickered, genuinely finding it amusing.

Frank took offense. He was trying to be nice for once, and you thought it was funny. And his situation really was complex, whether you chose to believe it or not. Maybe he should just tell you to get it off of his chest.

“Listen,” he said, voice laced with seriousness. “When I told you things were complicated, I meant it.”

Sensing the mood change from his tone and body language, you stopped smiling and decided to pay attention to him. Just this once. Never again. After this you could go back to hating him.

Frank continued. “The Entity was going to start…well, hurting me, if I didn’t start doing better in trials. I really didn’t want to sacrifice you, which is embarrassing to admit, but I’ll say it. And I don’t think it liked that.”

You were surprised. And also relieved that you had been right all along—he had been going easy on you at first.

“Why me, though?” you asked, confused. “Why wouldn’t you want to sacrifice me? What about the other survivors?”

If the slight tilt of his head at your question didn’t answer it for you, the way he started tapping his feet and cracking his knuckles so nervously did.

Boy, if looks could kill, you would have died instantly at the scowl Frank sent your way; you grinned pridefully at the realization that this man was down bad. You couldn’t see the expression behind his mask, though, which Frank was thankful for.

He hated every second of this, but you loved it. You reveled in his embarrassment.

Leaning forward on your hands, you begged, “Tell me more! I want to hear all about your feelings for me.”

“I could stab you right now, you know that?”

“But you won’t. You liiiiike me!”

“What are you, eight years old?”

“No, but I am severely injured and have lost a lot of blood so I am not necessarily in the right headspace at the moment.”

“You make a fair point.”

“So tell me! What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Your ass.”

“No, really.”

“Okay, your ass and your hair.”

“You know what, Frank, I still hate your guts.”

“No, you don’t.”

You paused for a moment. It was probably the blood loss talking, you decided later, but you said, “No. Maybe I don’t.”

[mayaflowerxs]

NSFW Alphabet w/Winwin

Warning: smutty!

Dedicated to: anime804

Aftercare:

I’m going to be honest, I see this man not doing much aftercare. If anything I think he will get cleaned up, maybe shower and go on with his day. Maybe if you guys had rough sex or it was just a very intimate moment he’ll spend the next half an hour running his hand through your hair. Little pecks on your temple as he helps clean you up. Ask if he went a little too hard or if everything was okay. Not saying he won’t care about it at all but just isn’t one who goes to great limits for aftercare.

Body Part:

He gives me fingers type person. He loves interlocking his fingers with yours. Loves playing with them and anytime he yearns for touch he goes straight for them. He might get irritated when you don’t get the hint about wanting to play with him (either holding them or playing with your rings/tattoos if you have any), so he’ll resort to snatching your hand and interlocking them. Not sparing you a glance as he goes on with his day like nothing.

Cum:

He doesn’t have a specific place he would like to climax usually he would let you decide. Lots of times though his loads are very intense when you suck him off. If not he’ll just release inside of you but with a condom on. I see him as someone who isn’t into the whole messy side and would find it annoying to have to clean the sheets because you two can’t seem to not cum on them.

Dirty Secret:

He secretly loves it when you’re on his lap. Usually he seems to be one who really isn’t to pda. Doesn’t really show much affection until he gets the sudden urge to hold you. You usually don’t sit on his lap but the one time you two were hanging out with the boys but no seats left you sat on his lap. When seeing his shocked face you went to get up and apologize but he only gripped your hips to keep you put. You never realized he was growing a hard on which was a shocker to him. He won’t tell you he likes you sitting there because every time you do he gets turned on and he thinks by you knowing you will think he’s a horny pervert and won’t ever sit on his lap again :(

Experience:

Completely honest, I think he wouldn’t be that experienced. Ever since he was a child he always did things. Always had a busy schedule and always determined to achieve great things. I don’t think he would’ve been one to really look for a relationship until he met you and you was just so damn charming to him he couldn’t continue he day without thinking about you. But when you two did have sex for the first time he pretty much knew everything. Just because he didn’t date a lot doesn’t mean he hasn’t done such naughty things.

Favorite Position:

I can see him loving reverse cowgirl and ballet dancer. He loves seeing you bounce on him, seeing himself get swallowed by your walls really gets him going. And ballet dancer well he really just likes the closeness. Seeing your face contort in pleasure because of him, determination and adoration written on his face as he swoons when hearing your moans only ever get louder.

Goofy:

He usually isn’t goofy but he gets very touchy tho. He’ll become this soft babie he’s tried not to show too much because of how much he gets coo’ed at by the others.

Hair:

I see him keeping it bare there but occasionally have a few strands on there.

Intimacy:

I see him as one who’s all about intimacy. Sees he’s kinda closed off he feels the need to reassure you just how much he loves you even if he doesn’t have. Very sensual, maybe gets rough and fast but before he climaxes he goes softer and slower wanting to climax with you. Cupping your face as he asks you if you’re close.

Jerk Off:

Yes. He would just not as much as the other boys. If he does it he absolutely makes sure he’s all alone, jerking off to pictures of you. He probably wouldn’t call you because he’s embarrassed and worried what you would think of him even though it’s completely normal to do so. So even after he’s done he wouldn’t be completely satisfied. You would know he jerked off because usually he takes you unexpectedly and starts touching you, his way to signal you he’s in the mood. That only ever happens when he jerks off few hours prior.

Kink:

Has a receiving oral fixation. He really loves it when you suck him off. Also anything that has to do with fingers he’s into it. Either finger fucking you, having you suck on his fingers as he hits it from the back, interlocking them while he’s climaxing literally anything he’s all for it.

Location:

I see him as one who would really like having sex in the living room or bathroom. He finds you very, very attractive having water drops run down your body as the room fogs up. At this point it’s either water or sweat but it doesn’t matter because he still loses it seeing you all watery as your begging for more. Living room, he finds it very comforting and relaxing. Like if you two were having lazy sex he would most likely want to do it there. Having you slowly bounce on his cock as the show on the tv was long forgotten. His pants barely down enough to free his cock. Even if he was mostly covered he would have you stripped to nothing. A hand grabbing your hair back as he held your hips, motioning for you to pick up the paste.

Motivation:

Stress. You two would probably do it when you guys really feel lovey dovey but when one of you two or both feel stressed you guys use that as momentum to fuck each other’s brains out, rough or slow it’s happening.

No:

Not into pegging. He’s low key a dom and even though you try to baby him to annoy tf out of him once you go too far he has you pinned on the cushions of the couch, jackhammering you not caring if one of the boys walk in any second. He’s also not one into threesomes or toys. Just overall a no.

Oral:

He’s not good at giving oral mainly because it’s all in his head. He thinks you won’t feel good so he won’t even try to have that discussion but you. Yeah he absolutely loves it when you suck him off dry. He loves seeing your beautiful eyes twinkle at him, you look so cute and innocent even though your mouth is full of his cock.

Pace:

He usually goes fast in the beginning. Mainly because he can’t wait no more, the foreplay already pushing him to the edge and really needs you. But as the time goes on he goes slower to feel every inch of you, also reminding you the love he has for you.

Quickies:

Not into quickies. You would probably would want to have one with him when you just really need him but he will not budge. Walking away with a smirk telling you to be patient and wait until you two get home. That little shit head.

Risk:

He’s not one for risks. He wants you all to himself and doesn’t like it when anyone even jokes about you about such vulgar ways. He even hates it when someone checks you out, so he definitely wouldn’t think about touching you or getting you turned on because the chances of someone seeing already ticks him off. Only he can see you hot and bothered.

Stamina:

He can go for a while. I mean have you seen his dancing and gymnastics? He can go on for like four rounds and you’re already delirious with just the first one. When you get like that he would probably taunt you about being weak and smirk when you push him back until he’s the one underneath. He likes seeing you think you’re dominating him only to pin you back down a second later.

Toys:

Absolutely not. He’s the type to remind you that whenever you need some attention just to come to him. He literally dislikes the idea of you using one to the point where he literally told you that he consents to somnophilia just in case you get horny on the middle of the night and need some dicking.

Unfair:

Literally is all about teasing. He loves seeing you on edge and as soon as your about to climax he pulls out with a shit eating grin. Either he’s teasing you with his fingers or dick. You probably won’t ever go a time you two have sex where he won’t give you some sort of teasing.

Volume:

Quieter the most. He wouldn’t be completely silent but he breathing and hitches are definitely audible. He really wants to hear you lose yourself so he’ll hold back any grunts just so that he won’t miss a single moan from you, but if he really missed you or was really sensitive by how stimulated you got him by sucking him off you will definitely hear a few whimpers leaving his mouth. Especially when he’s climaxing, he’ll tighten his grip on your hands and whimper in the crook of your neck concentrating in emptying every last drop.

Wildcard:

He loves hand holding. Either it’s out on the street or in bed fucking you balls deep he loves holding your hands. He interlocks his fingers and pins them over your head, in a way it gives him momentum to continue thrusting deeper and harder. One time he got so caught up in climaxing he forgot to hold your hands. Barely enough time to catch your breath he switches position and already lining himself again, kissing your lips and whispering to you to get ready for another round and this time he’ll do it right. Yeah that next round became three more rounds. Poor you.

X-ray:

I think he would be average. Now I don’t know how you perceive average but I know for a fact it’s not 8 inches or 3 inches neither. I definitely think he would be longer rather than thick.

Yearning:

He’ll usually need you at least three times every two weeks? I don’t think he would be one to need you every single day of the week especially since how busy he gets. But when he really misses you or just wants to do nothing but be with you he’ll take that time to plunge into you continuously.

Zzz:

Winwin would only ever fall asleep once everything is completely clean and tidy even if it’s a pain for him to do so. Even if it’s midnight and all he wants to do is shut his eyes to sleep his mind won’t let him and there he goes cleaning the room, bed, you, him and anything before resting down on the bed. But once his head hits to pillow he won’t take a no from you, you’re going to sleep with him because it’s late and he’s tired and can never fall asleep without having you in his arms.