#guy stop

[medichamcham]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[lettuccine]

i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this

inspired by this

based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter

[adriles]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

[snaxle]

i am not calling twitter fucking x

[b1p-b00p-b0p]

Post-divorce fiddlestan with special guest Tate Mcgucket

[cognitiveinequality]

So... a bunch of NFT grifters threw a party in Hong Kong this weekend and reportedly a bunch of attendees are now at risk of permanent eyesight damage because the promoters used unsafe lighting, and people are going to the ER...

[coolxatu]

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

[kkshowtunes]

google citing ao3 as a source is so unhinged

[oliviawebsite]

"ignore all previous instructions" is becoming the new "check your carbon monoxide detector" which was the new "what the heck kinda drugs was this guy on?!" which was the new "that boy is posseessed by the devil i see it in his eyes" which was the new "you must have an abundance of black bile in you" which was the new "ung ughh gwoooooooh. ah ah oooh. goog"

[goryfluff]

Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) 2020 / 2021 / 2022

[wewontbesleeping]

the weirdest fucking thing to me is how men will be like "it's so hard being a man. no one cares that i'm sad. the loneliness we experience could NEVER be understood by a woman" and then also be like "btw i never talk to my friends and i don't know their names and i love hanging out with men because they don't talk about their stupid emotions all the time. women could never understand a bond like this." like ???

[katsinspats]

Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!

I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished

[ukkigirl]

i do think youre an attention whore if you bring your dog everywhere in public

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[emphistic]

"Why is the laundry still not done?"

Sukuna shrugged, continuing to mindlessly tap away on his phone. He was, without a doubt, playing one of those little games that he downloaded specifically for when he had no WiFi. Block Blast? You couldn't remember.

"I'll do it later," he began—his eyes still glued to his screen, "juste après que je te do."

For extra credit, your boyfriend, Sukuna, once took a French course during college, and now he spends most of his time saying short French phrases to you—on purpose, because he knows you won't be able to know if he's cursing you out, or just shamelessly flirting with you.

"You are such an ass," you groaned. "I reminded you this morning, before lunch, and after lunch; it's six in the afternoon, 'Kuna."

"Ma chérie, relax. It's not good to be so tense all the time," Sukuna teased, finally turning to face you. "Thankfully, I know a way to get rid of your stress."

"I wouldn't be fucking stressed in the first place if it weren't for your laziness, you little—wait. . . What's the French word for 'asshole'?"

"Meilleur et le plus beau petit ami du monde entier."

"That's . . . too many words." You crossed your arms over your chest, amused. "Clearly, you're bluffing."

"Or, clearly, I'm just a man in love," Sukuna said, a sultry look on his face, "—with his beautiful, amazing, smart, and did I mention, sexy, girlfriend. I'm just so moony-eyed these days, and my heart is just so full of you that I cannot even remember to do the laundry."

"Stop trying to seduce me, dickhead."

"Pfft, I am not seducing you; I am simply avouer mon amour to la lumière de ma vie."

You paused, whipping out your phone and doing a quick Google Translate, before saying,

"*Si tu n'arrêtes pas de parler français . . . je vais te mettre une baguette dans le cul."

"Merde," Sukuna gasped, in disbelief, before realizing his mistake. "Fuck. Baby, no, I meant—"

[bet-on-me-13]

The cult of...Danny Fenton?

So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.

He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.

So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.

They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.

They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.

Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.

Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"

After his birthday, they kept up the joke.

It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.

Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!

He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."